#yes i am still sad about his death yes the ending felt lacked of something

[harrycollins]

I finished the game btw... but no silly Tamsinposting because I feel sad and empty.

[corvusalbus93]

Thoughts & Feelings after the TBB Finale

Loved the show, but there are a couple of things I wish had been different/added. We still got damn good finale; pretty tense at times, action was great, Hemlock died (and Hunter and Crosshair got to do it together. Remember; sharing is caring), the way Rampart and Nala Se met their end, we even had a pretty happy ending for once, lots of good stuff.

However, I am disappointed Rex and his rebellion didn’t really play a part, despite being the reason Echo was gone for so much of the show and the screen time they got in season 2. They were also looking for Tantiss, determined to free their brother, so I’d been hoping Echo would manage to get a message out. Just imagine Rex with his boys showing up clutch, keeping troops occupied, evacuating the prisoners, giving the Batch the opening they need to get to Hemlock or something.

While I like how the show stayed focused on the Bad Batch, and didn’t drag in too many characters from other stories, this could have made Echo’s absence/working with Rex feel more vital. Maybe the Rex-storyline was dropped and they’re saving some of these plotlines for another Rex-centred show; those might also show when Wolffe switched sides or what happened to Cody, after he went AWOL.

Now, am I sad Tech is really dead? Yes and no.

While I am sick of every other character in Star Wars returning from the dead, part of me had hoped he’d survived somehow. As mentioned in previous posts, it felt like he died in the middle of his character arch (which his death certainly didn’t complete); Romar in the first episodes of season 2 gave him inside into the value of culture, and how people weren’t defined by what side they were on during the war. Phee added to this with her own love of history and culture...and then it didn’t go anywhere. They also teased the possibility of a romance with her, but it was ended with an awkward goodbye and we didn’t see her react to his death. She mentions him, but its business as usual for everyone at that point. Tech could have been on vacation the way everyone acted most of the time in season 3.

Seriously, the main reason I’m unsatisfied with his death is the lack of reaction and consequences in this season. Even in the episode he died in, it was kinda overshadowed by Omega’s abduction 5 minutes later. Not to mention that it ended with Emeri revealing she was her sister; you lost a science-inclined sibling with glasses? Well, don’t worry, here’s another. Bit overdramatic on my part, I know, but I really didn’t like that reveal, not at the time. Should have been in season 3.  Though honestly? Emeri didn’t need to be related to any of them; just have her be a not morally bankrupt person and the story wouldn’t have changed. She didn’t need to be related to the other kids to care about them, so what really was the point of her being another clone?

Going back to Tech, it’s a shame we didn’t see Crosshair or Phee react. Like, did Crosshair blame himself for what happened? I’m sure he did on some level, but we have not really seen it. Even in episode 5, when he argues with Hunter, Crosshair says he risked everything to send the message, but Hunter ignored him and allowed Omega to get abducted...but nothing about Tech’s death. They all just silently look down a few episodes later, when Tech is mentioned, and in the final episode Crosshair points out the team died with Tech. It’s something, but I wish there had been more. Maybe show different ways they deal with loss and how to support each other. Maybe Phee and/or Shep show them what funeral rites on Pabu are like, as a way to say goodbye to the departed. Compare how clones and civilians handle death, something like that. We had a little mourning in season 2, but again, was abruptly ended/undercut by Omega’s abduction.

Concerning consequences; the team operated pretty normally, once Crosshair was back with them. I think it would have added weight, if there had been more things they weren’t able to do at all without Tech. Really make his loss be felt/shown in the way they approach their missions, but there was only like one instance, when they were trying to find out about M-count and otherwise they operated pretty much as usual.

Now, even if Tech had survived there still should have been consequences. I have made posts like a year ago, talking about the possibility of him being permanently disabled (e.g. paralysed below hip/unable to walk), but still able to help the team, as his mind has always been his greatest asset. Still, I’m okay with him staying dead, so I’m not going expand on this further here.

Moving on, we never learned why Omega was created the way she was. We know why she was useful for Hemlock, but why did Nala Se made her to begin with? Did she have similar goals/did the Kaminioan have a similar project at some point? Was Emeri like a failed test-version of Omega? Just things I wish they had answered, rather than spending two episodes on finding out what M-count means, something the audience already knows.

Which brings me to my next point: why Ventress was in the show? The Batch found out what the M-count was, which honestly is a piece of information Shand could have given them at the end of her episode. Testing if Omega was force sensitive or the taming of that sea creature, didn’t set up anything in the finale as some suspected, so despite enjoying Ventress’ episode, I wish they’d used the time on other plot points. 

We also never did find out what exactly Project Necromancer tried to accomplish (though we got a good idea), or how close Hemlock was to achieving his breakthrough. Could have added tension, if we’d known how far along he truly was, added catharsis to see him fail so close to his goal.

Overall I’m not quite happy Omega got brought to Tantiss and escaped twice with minimal help (really undermining the place as a whole). Why did infiltrating Tarkin’s “summer home” feel more dangerous/consequential than the secret mountain-base they built up so much? I love we finally got a happy ending, but one named character on the good guys’ side should have died, not just nameless prisoners we only just met. This is where the clone rebellion could have come in, some sacrificing themselves, helping the Batch, or maybe have Phee (who felt underutilised) get shot down, after getting them to Tantiss.

If you’ve seen previous posts, you know I’m pretty mad about what they’ve done with Scorch overall. What happened in the final episode can be summed up like this:

He’s unrecognizable from the games and books, to the point I wonder why they even bothered to include him. He didn’t even really do anything. Was it just because he was recognizable? And where is the rest of Delta? We never got closure concerning Sev and now this, a waste of a pretty fun character.

Speaking of clones working for Hemlock.

While I don’t mind the CX-clones being no one special, they had no personality, and except for CX-2 perhaps, no rivalries with the Batch either. They didn’t even get voice lines, so they looked cool for 5 minutes of screen time and died, but were pretty forgettable overall. They are this far down on my list, ‘cause I legit forgot about them. If only they’d been introduced sooner.

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts. I still like the show and would recommend it to any Star Wars fan, but there were a few things I just needed to get off my chest.

[amtrak12]

Hey hi! I read your Helena Wells meta earlier, from ten years ago, and I found it so interesting and spot on, and at the end you were so sad that you felt like you didn't have a good grasp on the character - do you feel that has changed, since then? And if so, how? Or, what do you think of Helena these days?

(the meta you posted and linked here: https://www.tumblr.com/purlturtle/736985181321314304/your-helena-tangent-got-me-thinking-and-yes-this )

Oooo fun and deep questions! :D Thank you!!

Obviously, that was 2.5 high schools ago so I had to reread my original meta to refresh my memory. My first thought is: OMFG LEARN PARAGRAPH BREAKS!! O_O But then, as I kept reading and saw how many spaces were missing after periods and how the sentences after the missing space read like a new paragraph -- my second thought is, I think Tumblr did me dirty at some point in the last 10 years of formatting changes and I actually did use appropriate paragraph breaks originally. Rude. -_-

But on the point of your actual questions! lol

I don't remember writing that exact post, but being nervous and uncertain about my Helena characterization does ring a bell. I was DEFINITELY more confident in analyzing/meta-ing Myka or Pete (if it was in relation to Myka). HG made me nervous and that was only like 10% because she's British and I'm American.

Some of my uncertainty probably came from my lack of historical knowledge (which has not improved. Fun fact: this is why I nearly never invented an artifact for fic). A not-insignificant portion of my uncertainty probably also came from how confident the rest of the fandom spoke about Helena. It seemed like she was meta-ed more often and by more people than Myka was. (Which makes sense as -- in general -- Helena was/probably still is the more popular character in the B&W ship.) I don't remember ever feeling like someone was way off base or out of character with Helena, but I do remember reading meta/fic sometimes and struggling to decide if I disagreed with a character trait/action that the person assigned her or if it was an accurate aspect of Helena's character that I hadn't internalized yet.

Basically I had Opinions about how Myka (and Pete for that matter) should be written and definitely noticed when a fic disagreed with me. But figuring out HG was like the wild west to me and I could never pin her down with firm barriers on who her character is and isn't.

I am very, very rusty on my Warehouse 13 knowledge because it's been nearly a decade since I was deep in my analyzation of the show. So, I wouldn't say I have a better grasp on Helena's characterization today than I did in 2014. But there are some aspects I feel like I could understand better if I took the time to rewatch and meta.

Loss of a child -- look I don't have children, but I do have niblings now that I adore. I'm also raising a dog who taught me I do not have the energy or anxiety coping mechanisms to raise a human child, because worrying about her almost does me in on its own. And I'm in my mid-30's now and seem to have a better understanding of parent-child relationships (or I'm at least way more interested in exploring them now, both from the view of the child and the view of the parent). So, exploring Christina's death and just how much that affected Helena would absolutely be on my list of deep-dives. I never ignored this before, but I'm certain I could pull more out of this backstory today than I could've in 2014.

Helena's guilt -- I started rambling at the end of that post about which things Helena felt guilty about and whether she felt guilty at all. As far as I remember, I usually wrote her as feeling some measure of guilt for her past actions. (Although I was also usually writing full AU settings so it was a moot point.) But I also wasn't wrong when I pointed out how she didn't show any obvious signs of regret over her S2 actions, unless it was something that had hurt Myka. If I was going to go back and meta WH13, I would explore this topic deeper for sure.

Interestingly, it's not something I could've explored deeper prior to 2022-ish. But now I've watched the series Lucifer which deals entirely with guilt and has a protagonist with shut down emotions who doesn't regret things and then, through incremental changes over 6 seasons, opens up, learns to feel every emotion again, unpacks a lot of shit etc. And I have been FASCINATED by how the writers pulled that off, because on the surface it is not a show (or a protagonist) that I should care about. (And if I had watched it from ep 1.01 instead of completely ass backwards, I wouldn't have cared about him.) BUT I DO CARE! And I want to know how they pulled off Lucifer's character arc. And then I want to use some of the techniques they used to explore guilt and pain and apply them to Helena to see what emerges in her character. Because I think it would be really interesting.

And then finally, I'm not sure I have anything new to bring to the conversation around what Helena's future with the warehouse and/or happy ending looks like. But I could also never make up my mind on what would work best for her. Does she return as an agent? Does she become a regent? (Probably not, but you never know.) Does she just become the live-in inventor who doesn't venture into the field unless absolutely necessary? I have absolutely no idea what her future with the warehouse would look like if a romantic relationship with Myka is her happy ending. (Which is my personal goal obviously lol).

Because -- and this is where my Opinions on Myka come into play -- our girl Myka Bering is not leaving that warehouse. Ever. She is the new Artie. She will take over as the lead agent when he retires/partially retires. And then she will die there. In South Dakota of old age (because I refuse to let her die on a mission). Pete? Oh, my boy Pete will meet an awesome lady and retire to be a stay at home dad. He'll walk away one day. Myka? Absolutely never. You're burying her at the warehouse. Which means Helena will have to have some kind of relationship with it again, and I would have to figure out what that looks like because both today and in 2014, I can't decide what option fits her best.

I hope this answers your question! It was so deep and I love it :D I just don't have new thoughts on WH13 yet because I haven't looped back around to a full blown obsession with it yet. (It will happen. Round 2 of BERING AND WELLS ARE THE BEST THING EVER will absolutely happen at some point in my life because that's how I roll and they are.) So this is less meta about how my thoughts on Helena have changed, and more about how my approach to her character would change given the experience I've gained in the last ten years.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!

[dreamingsushi]

Till the End of the Moon - Overall Review

Hey there! It’s me once again and for the last time on the drama Till the End of the Moon. What ride it was right? Now that it’s over, I don’t feel any emptiness, it was in its ways satisfying, so for those of you wondering wether it’s worth the hype and your time, hopefully this review is going to help you decide. However, these are my personal opinions, some people might disagree with it, so please still use your own judgement.

Plot

The story is about an immortal girl who travels back to the past to prevent the becoming of a demon god who would wreck havoc on the world and cause the death of her loved ones. Even though it’s nothing super original as it follows the trope enemies to lovers, there are a lot of very good elements in the writing of the scenario. First of all, everything that is introduced (places, artifacts, objects, people...) serves a purpose and appears multiple times in the story. This was something I really liked. Sometimes a drama will introduce a magical item, for example, they will use it like for 2-3 episodes or even less and then it never comes back. Here, each object that has been brought on had more than one purpose. They explained the origins behind them. It was a very strong point to this story.

Furthermore, it was mostly consistent with the characters. Their decisions were obviously questionable, way too often, especially as the viewer knowing everything there’s to be known to judge if it’s a bad or a good decision. Sometimes, it was extremely frustrating, but if I have to be honest, there are only two things I am still very unsatisfied with. One being Susu getting drunk a night she’s supposed to hunt a demon, which really didn’t make sense to me since she’s not the type to overlook her duty. The other one being Ye Qingyu and resenting Tantai Jin, because it was an useless addition in my opinion since they didn’t really mention anything about it until the end, and it could have been overlooked. It wasn’t necessary.

Overall, the plot gets a bit 8/10 for me. It was very well written, there no big plot holes and everything was mostly very consistent. It loses a little bit of points because it wasn’t necessarily orignal and sometimes the characters were a little too frustrating.

Acting

At first, I really couldn’t stand Luo Yunxi’s acting. His character starts off as emotionless and something was bugging me about it. It felt kind of way too forced. However, as the character started to learn how to love, what’s happiness and sadness, I saw a big improvement. During the last episodes, while he’s being thorn between what he feels and what he must act like, he got me through a huge range of emotions. He did a very good job overall.

I liked in general Bai Lu’s acting, even thought it felt simpler. But maybe that’s what I liked. She didn’t show as much growth though compared to Luo Yunxi’s character and there were moment when I felt the script kind of went in a weird way when it came to her actions and reasonings. But overall, I enjoyed the different nuances between her three characters. She managed to make me cry, but also to warm up my heart. She did a good job.

I can’t completely just ignore the other great actors just because they weren’t main leads. I want to point out Chen Duling’s performance throughout the drama. She was amazing. Her character was very complex ad when it was time to hate her, I did. When i was time to forgive her, I did. She really impressed me. Su Zhenni’s performance was also great, even though she didn’t get as much spotlight. She was flawless. On the other hand, Deng Wei’s acting didn’t leave a big impression on me. It was better when he was acting as Xiao Lin, but there was something that felt a little weak, I don’t really know how to explain it. Eddy Geng did an okay job, I think his acting just lacks a little maturity for now.

One thing I really found annoying was all the shouting. I don’t put that on the acting skills of the actors, but rather more onto the director Every time they launched a big power, were in pain, they’d just scream... But like.. I guess I would shout from the pain too if I was struck multiple times by lightning, but most of the time it just didn’t work for me, it looked foolish and didn’t convey any emotions.

The general note for acting stands at 8/10 for me.

Visuals

So let’s just talk about what I disliked first to get it out of the way... The CGI. Oh god. When I first watched the first episode, I had a headache from everything flying around in my screen. Too much is like not enough, even worse. I thought it was going to be internet troll like, low budget. It turned out that the first episode was the worst of all and the on including the most of that crap. I think they had the budget for going all in, but it went overboard. At some other instances, they stroke back with the overwhelming special effects, but it was only for a short limited moment. It’s just a shame because the first episode is so bad that it doesn’t entice to keep watching without being very generous.

Now let’s move on to my favourite part... the costumes! Oh dear me... They were gorgeous. I was so fascinated by Li Susu’s headpieces all the time. She changed so many times, to the point that sometimes I couldn’t explain how could she change her outfit to something so luxurious in the middle of nowhere, but I don’t care. The structures on some of Tantai Jin’s capes too were very impressive. But generally speaking, all the costumes were great. Even the grass cape grew on me. That was a very strong point visually for me.

The filming places were beautiful too. The only moments I liked it less was when it was all constructed by the computer. In the space like universe. But the dark side. Anything related to the realm of the gods was beautiful. I loved the decors.

This drama could have rated higher in terms of visuals, but the CGI is really that bad, so I have no other choice but to give it a 7/10. The costumes really do bring up the ratings.

Soundtrack

I’m in love with the soundtrack. I keep humming it. At no point was it ill chosen, it always enhanced any scenes it was paired with. I don’t have much to say, just listen to the OST even if you opt out of watching the drama. It’s worth a solid 9/10 for me.

Should you watch it?

If you like a drama with no plot holes, go for it. Nothing is left behind. The acting is good overall. There are beautiful costumes. It was an interesting story. Even though it wasn’t the most original, it often left me wondering what was going to happen next. So I think it’s worth trying to overcome the big cringe of episode 1.

However, if you are not into romantic dramas, I would not recommend it to you as most of the story is focusing on the love between the two main characters. I wouldn’t say it’s what we should call a healthy relationship (as in many dramas...) so keep that into mind too when debating.

This overall gets a fat 8/10 for me. I enjoyed the ride and was happy with the ending, so going through the 40 episodes wasn’t a waste of time. Not on my rewatch list, but definitely on my no regrets, I recommend list.

List of full recaps

All / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33 / 34 / 35 / 36 / 37 / 38 / 39 / 40

[widow-maximov]

can you do a one shot where we’re with wanda and nat but thor brings valkyrie down to the compound for the first time and we get super flustered and stuttery whenever she talks and flirts with us because cmon we all know valkyrie is a big flirt😩😩🤲🏼 then having wanda and nat are amused but also jealous by our little crush on valkyrie

New Crush?

Pairing: Natasha x Wanda x Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, angst :3

Summary: What happens if you develop a crush on someone else than your girlfriends; Wanda and Natasha.

Word count: 3.7k

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

Having queer teammates will never be enough, you were first open queer person on the team which was something everyone liked about you, though you were open about your sexuality, you were pretty shit at flirting and that was pretty obvious.

Before Wanda and Natasha, you tried your luck at flirting with women as practice but it failed so horribly when you received a hard slap across your face and then you owned Bucky 20 bucks.

So when you said you sucked, you really sucked. You were beyond happy that the two redheads asked you out first because you would be still single if it was up to you to make a move.

The two women were very possessive over you in the teams eyes, you didn't really mind because you knew the reason behind it, but most of the team was a little worried about you and them.

Whenever there was a party that Tony organised, there were a lot of 'threats', well that was only according to Wanda and Natasha, they disliked how everyone practically drooled over you.

Natasha would be the one who would threaten any man or woman approaching you and Wanda would use her powers to 'gently' move away anyone who gotten too close to you.

The only reason they really became this protective was because of your fear of saying no, there was always something in you that just wanted to say yes to everyone when in reality you wanted to say no.

If someone offered you a drink, you said yes to which you nearly got drugged and god knows what would've happened if Steve didn't save you.

So when you became really close with Wanda and Natasha, you opened up to them and they decided that they will now keep an eye out for you at parties and people around you.

Of course the team didn't know anything about this because you were pretty ashamed of this fear, you didn't want to get laughed at, even if Natasha threatened to punch anyone who would, to which she earned a giggle from you.

You really loved these two women but you were a human being, meaning you might have a crush on other people, to which the two girls were not happy with.

The team was pretty shocked by how they reacted because usually they would be throwing threats left and right at anyone but when Thor brought down Valkyrie they just stared from afar as they observed with death stares..

This had the team very curious to their behaviour so whenever you was around Valkyrie they just observed you and the two women. There was this time where the team almost died of shock...

There was an urgent meeting in the early morning whilst you wanted to sleep, you were forced to get out of the bed to attend this meeting, you were informed by F.R.I.D.A.Y. 5 times already that the meeting is going to start soon.

But the urge to get out of bed was really little, since there was no sign of you anywhere, the redheads where sent to get you before you missed any important information.

Wanda used her powers to unlock your door whilst Natasha barged inside with a sly smile across her lips. She plopped herself on you as you groaned at the extra weight on you.

"Sleepp!" Your raspy voice made itself out of your throat as you sounded like you were a zombie.

Wanda did the opposite of Natasha, she laid next to you as she moved your hair out of your face and just smiled at your relaxed face "You have to get up my love"

You opened one eye to look at her and smiled at the nickname "Say it again"

"Say what again" She repeated herself, she knew what she was doing, she just wanted to keep you awake.

"My love" Even if you were half asleep, the blush across your face was visible.

"My love.." Wanda said it with so much love in her voice which made your heart skip a beat.

"Hello! I am here as well don't forget about me" Natasha made herself known.

You looked at her "Oh I know, I wouldn't forget the weight of a whale on me"

She raised her brows at you, as her mouth opened wide taking offence to your words whilst Wanda giggled "When did you pick up this attitude котенок (kitten)"

"From spending too much time with you" Wanda added as she looked at Natasha with a huge smile.

The redhead rolled her eyes at the both of you as she leaned down to your ear "Call me a whale again and you'll see the punishment that comes with"

You nodded quickly to which she smirked and got off you "If you're not down in 10 minutes and we have to come back again, I wont be so nice котенок (kitten)"

Wanda quickly placed a soft kiss on your cheek and giggled out of the room along with Natasha, leaving you alone again, you really wanted to go back to sleep but you didn't want the Russian to literally drag you out.

You got out and got ready as quick as you could, making your way out of the room and where the meeting was being held, you ended up quick far away from your girlfriends than you would like to but you could only blame yourself for not getting up earlier.

Everyone looks your way which makes you panic a little so you turn around and there was Thor with some girl, she was gorgeous from head to toe, and she noticed you as well.

They both made their way towards the group to which she stood next to you, Thor started his speech to which you tried to listen to but she spoke up.

"What's your name sweetheart" She slightly turned her face to look at you.

A blush was already there on your face when you looked into her eyes "Uh.. Y-y/n"

There was a slight smirk across her face, as she looked away a little and then back at you "Nice to meet you Y/n, I'm Valkyrie but you can call me Val"

You smiled shyly at her and looked at the floor briefly as you nodded, she spoke up again when you didn't reply "Are you doing anything after this?"

You shook your head, your eyes finding hers within seconds, she smiled widely "Could you maybe give me a proper tour?"

It took a second to realise what she just asked, you didn't even think about looking over at your girlfriends, you just nodded "S-sure I wouldn't mind"

Valkyrie bit her bottom lip "Well Thank you princess"

You giggled very awkwardly which didn't go unnoticed by the whole team or the two redheads "Heh- You don't have to thank me"

Valkyrie reached over to your hand as she grabbed it gently and placed a light kiss on your hand "None sense, pretty women like you deserve the world"

Your checks turning a more red colour as you watch her kiss your head, it felt like your brain stopped working and you just nodded at her because words will betray you if you speak.

Steve ended the meeting soon after and before Natasha or Wanda could make their way to you, you were being dragged away by Valkyrie.

Suddenly all of the teams heads turned towards the two redheads as if to expect a reaction, they looked at each other and then back at the team.

Natasha narrowed her eyes "What?"

They all shrugged and mumbled stuff under their noses, slowly scattering all over the place to avoid the black widows stare, shocking each and every one of them to core with their lack of reaction.

This has happened a lot, Valkyrie being all over you and you being okay with it, after that first day, many followed and you were practically all the time busy with her.

She took most of your time which Wanda didn't like, Natasha was more amused by your sudden confidence, usually you would be a mess when it came to choices.

But when you were with her you tried your best to show off as confident which failed so badly, you were a mess around her which only annoyed Wanda more.

She wanted to confront you about it but Natasha kept discouraging her, she trusted you but Wanda started to question it at some point in this whole situation.

"Natasha we can't just stand by and watch as she slowly takes our Y/n away!" Wanda paced around the room.

Natasha was on her phone during Wanda rant, she has been through this with her many times but with each issue raised by Wanda, she slowly started to believe her.

"Mhm" Natasha agreed, not paying attention to what Wanda was saying.

"Would you listen to me!" She raised her voice and soon Natasha's phone went flying across the room.

"Hey! I was reading something" Natasha stood up from the bed as she walked over to Wanda.

"I am talking to you Nat, it's really important" Wanda's voice turned soft as Natasha walked closer.

"I was listening, I understand what you're feeling but you shouldn't question Y/n's trust, you know Y/n would never do something like that" Natasha crossed her arms as she started to explain.

Wanda nodded "I know and I'm not questioning her trust, I just don't like how she talks all about Valkyrie, it's like we are her friends rather than girlfriends"

The Russian looked down for a brief moment and Wanda continued "She doesn't swoon over us anymore, she gets all flustered and all nervous like she was with us at first but now it's nothing"

Natasha shook her head "Okay, that's not true"

"But it is, I haven't seen it at all lately" Now Wanda crossed her arms.

"I'm sure it's not true" Now Natasha tried to sound convincing but something in her was saying that Wanda was right.

"Then prove me wrong" Wanda raised her eyebrow at Natasha "Please..." there was a hint of pain in the plead that came from Wanda.

"Okay, I will show you she still is ours Wands" Natasha had a sad smile across her lips as she pulled Wanda into her.

She kissed the top of Wanda's head as she rubbed her hand down the smaller redheads back, to which you witnessed as you walked inside the room.

Your heart nearly burst at the sight of them being so cute, you wanted to join them but Val was waiting for you along with some teammates, you guys were watching a movie.

"Aww, if we weren't a couple, I would totally ship the two of you together" You spoke up as you stared at them with love in your eyes.

Their heads snapped towards your voice, they pulled away to which you spoke up again "Aww noo, I didn't want to disturb yous"

"You never disturb us котенок (kitten)" Natasha voice made itself known rather quickly, the butterflies in your stomach always been there just by looking at the two women so imagine what their voices did to you.

You nodded with a smile at them as you walked over to take your favourite pillow when you watched movies, Wanda's eyes followed you as she asked "What is it that you are doing my love?"

You looked up at her with a small smile "Me and some of the team are watching a movie so I wanted to get my pillow.."

Wanda nodded "You didn't invite us..?"

Here came the tension, whenever Wanda didn't like something and made her jealousy known, you would always just ignore her for the rest of the day, she always treated you like you weren't allowed to hang out with her around.

You knew it was only because she was scared that if she wasn't there and something happened to you she would blame herself but you had protection, not only the team but Valkyrie.

"Well, I wasn't sure whether yous wanted to, Val will be there and I know that you don't exactly like her, for whatever reason that is" You stood up with your pillow in hand.

"I have a perfect reason Y/n!" Wanda slightly raised her voice.

Natasha sighed "Okay, come on we don't need to fight about this.."

"I'm not fighting, I just don't understand why Val is hated so much by Wanda" You looked at Natasha as you spoke up.

The Sokovian huffed in irritation "She is all over you моя любовь (My love) and you're not doing anything about it. You spend more time with her than us combined"

You rolled your eyes, not really thinking through what she was saying "When you stop being jealous then we can have this conversation Wanda"

"I have enough of this" Wanda threw her hands in the air.

You rolled your eyes again as you walked of the room, this time not saying anything and walked on to the living room where everyone was waiting for you.

The whole movie you couldn't really concentrate, your mind was filled with Wanda and how this whole disagreement went, you love her so much and you would be damned if you lost her but she didn't have to be so rude to you.

But at the same time you weren't the best either, you were just as bitter as she was, you wanted to fix this but maybe not tonight, she needs to calm down and you just wanted to think before going into this conversation.

Valkyrie noticed your absent from the movie, she kept looking over at you, and as soon as the movie finished, you stood up as you made your way to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

Natasha followed you into the kitchen as she smirked, Wanda wasn't far from the kitchen to see how this would play out, she was standing with Vision, Bucky and Steve.

There was always something about Natasha that just screamed top energy but when she really wanted to she was the most softest person you could meet.

She slowly made her way towards you with a small smile across her lips as she hugged you gently from behind, placing her hands where you always relaxed into her "I hate it when you're sad детка (baby)"

You leaned into her hug with your back against her front "I'm more disappointed than sad Talia"

She placed a soft kiss on your neck as she spoke again "have I told you, you're the most beautiful woman alive?"

You chuckled slightly as you nodded "Yeah you did but you always said that to Wanda many times"

Natasha smiled against your neck "Well because the two of you rock my world"

Natasha's compliments always had you stuttering and flustered but with time you have gotten used to those love filled compliments even if they still make your heart skip a beat.

"How about we take a wine bottle up to the roof and just talk about everything?" Natasha spoke when silence slowly settled.

You moved out of the hug as you faced her, with a sad smile "Not tonight"

You placed a gentle kiss on her cheek as you walked out with a tin of cookies, you looked up at Wanda who looked like she was ready to approach you but you just continued on.

Valkyrie observed the scene that unfolded and as soon as you walked away, she followed you. Wanda didn't want to cause more trouble than it already has happened so she let Valkyrie follow you even if she wanted to literally lock her in some closet.

You sat on the roof with your cookies and some drink that you managed to grab from the party room, you looked out into the city and how each of the lights made it look so much prettier.

Valkyrie observed you for some time before making her way to sit next to you "Pretty women like you should never be left alone"

You looked up at Val as you smiled at her words, you were debating if opening your mouth was a good idea so instead she spoke up again "So tell me pretty woman what's bothering you"

You looked away from her because if you were going to speak up, you didn't want to stutter "I had a fight with Wanda.."

Val nodded "Your other girlfriend?"

You nodded as you continued "Her jealousy is really tiring"

"How so" She asked as she turned her whole body towards you.

"Her constant doubt makes me go crazy, I just really want her to trust me and my choices in life, she's not even acting like a girlfriend but a mother or some shit" You explained as you looked down at your hands.

Valkyrie moved closer to you as her fingers found your chin, making you look at her "Y/n you deserve someone who will never doubt their love for you, it makes my heart break just seeing you so sad"

You swallowed hardly as you stared into her eyes, even if you told Valkyrie many times that you were taken, she still tried her best to make you fall for her, it would work if you weren't so in love with the two dorky redheads.

"She doesn't doubt in the love between us-" You tried to speak up but Val only put her finger on your lips to shush you.

"I would never spend a second in my life doubting my love for you, you are the most smartest, funniest and nerdy woman I have ever met and I wish you would look at me the same way you look at them"

You started to feel the blush appear on your face, you smiled at her "I don't doubt but they have my heart Val, I have already told you that"

She dropped her hand from your chin as she nodded "I know, You will always have my heart Y/n if that's something you would want"

You smiled at her being so understanding and gentle with this "You're an amazing friend Val and I'm sure that one day you'll find someone who will want you right away instead of making you wait for something that might not happen"

She smiled at your words as she placed her hand on top of yours "You should talk to her before things get worse and you lose her forever"

"I will but at the moment I want to finish my drink and sit here for couple more hours before going back to that issue"

She nodded as she was ready to get up but you stopped her "W-would you stay with me for now? I don't want to be alone"

She nodded with no hesitation as she let you place your head on her shoulder, as the both of you looked out into the city, admiring the view and enjoying this quiet moment.

After couple hours, you finally had enough energy and courage to speak to Wanda, you walked inside the shared room where Natasha was laying down with her laptop on her lap and Wanda with a book.

You sighed as you cleared your throat, making yourself known to the two redheads, they both looked up at you at the same time, you walked over to Wanda's side as you sat on the edge.

Even though you smelt like cookies and some alcohol, you felt like you had enough courage to finally speak out "Can we talk?"

Wanda stared at you for a moment "You're drunk"

You shook your head "No, I just had one glass but I want to talk because I don't want to go bed with this issue unsolved"

Wanda wanted to refuse but Natasha agreed for her, especially since she knew there wouldn't be another opportunity to solve this "Yes we can talk and solve this"

"You were right Wands, I don't spend time with yous anymore and I hate myself for leaving yous behind like that"

Wanda looked at you as you spoke "That's not the issue here Y/n/n, you can have friends and spend crazy amounts of time with them but at least be honest with us"

You looked at her confused "Honest about what?"

"That you no longer love us, we at least deserve this" She looked into your eyes with pain.

You shook your head as you took her hand into yours "I never stopped loving yous"

Natasha smiled at your words as she knew she was right, Wanda questioned once again "So why is she all over you Y/n/n?"

"She knows yous have my heart and every second of my attention, I could never fall for anyone else apart from yous, she likes me but I don't feel anything towards her"

Natasha raised her brows "So she doesn't take hint? Do you want me to tell her something so she can back off?"

You giggled at her "No baby, I can manage with her you don't need to threat anyone"

"I'm sorry my love, I never doubted in you but I was just scared that I would lose you, you and the redhead over here are my whole world I'm really sorry for how I behaved" Wanda's grip on your hand tightened.

You smiled as Natasha frowned "What do you mean redhead over here? For you I am Солнечный свет (sunshine)"

You and Wanda looked over at Natasha as you giggled at her being offended, Wanda nodded as she placed a light kiss on Nats cheek to which she smiled proudly.

You stared at them with so much love in your eyes "I am completely in love with the pair of you"

It has taken back the redheads as now they tried to form words, their butterflies being so strong that now you giggled "Now yous have the nervous, this is a first"

Natasha chuckled "we are in love with you just as much Y/n/n"

You smiled as you squeezed yourself in between the two girls as they showered you in kisses, for the first time in a while, you felt like life was getting better within seconds and finally being able to feel like you are on top of the world with the two most important women.

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

If you want to join my tag list, click here and enjoy my future posts.

Tag list: @eilarch, @eilarch, @wandanatblogs, @madamevirgo @diaryoflife @theprassebox @marvelwomen-simp @Razorscooteer @007giu @bentleywolf29 @romaaa28 @romanoff-maximoff-lover

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

Never enough |Chuuya comfort x Reader

Angst and fluff time

Never enough |Chuuya comfort x Suicidal depressed Reader|

Warnings- mentions of Self-harm, heavy depression, suicide, lack of love for one's self. -I honestly wrote this as a self-comfort cause I needed something, so it really is triggering-

Word count- 1,700 words (roughly)

Life is a storm, full of calm eyes and rough winds that threaten to knock you over. Within life, there are ups and down; rough and soft moments in the storm. Tears are like rain, drizzling and pouring. There are light cries and heavy cries just like the sky. Happiness, fear, sadness, anger; emotions are weather. There are sunny days; happiness, thunderstorms; fear, rainy days; sadness, hurricanes; anger.

The clouds wept today. Wrapping around the moonlight, it hid the light. Water made heavy clinking noises against metal. The rush of cars swooshed against water as they sped by, the sound of a silent street followed. There were no voices, no couples, no people within eyesight or earshot. Today was a rainy day; a sad day. Tears fell in pattern with the falling water. Crimson dissipated within the water. Flowing down the roof the water washed it away. Clothing stuck, hair fell, eyes continued to look down.

You felt alone, afraid, disgusted, and angry with yourself and others. Your legs dangled off the edge of the roof. Listening to the music of sadness; a rainy night, you hummed. There was nobody else there with you, besides your thoughts you were alone. Though it was no surprise, it happened all the time.

People leave, people move one, people are not permanent. There is death in life; life in death. You pondered the meaning of such similes often. Running arms over your soaked clothes you choked on sobs. Letting out silent cries you shed the pain. Out of alcohol and still sober enough to feel you tossed the empty bottle to the roof entrance. It shattered to hundreds of pieces, adding sound to your cries. This isn't normal; to feel like this. You hated the things you’ve done, the job you could not back out from. You hated the way you looked. It didn’t matter what people said to you about being perfect the way you are. The small voices of people who put you down stood out. The ones that edge this crippling insecurity stuck out the most. They say the smallest flame can do more damage than the largest flame. It makes sense though, a large flame grows from the smallest flame. The large flames that start that size often take a while to do the same damage a building flame has done. Words worked like that; the smaller words that came from those close built into raging flames.

You shouted curses under your breath, looking to your lined arms, you choked back another sob. Why, why did you do these things? They were temporary freedoms from this pain but it never lasted; like drinking. Everybody needs a way to tell these feelings to fuck off, but at points, it doesn't work. Those thoughts cross the mind. The permanent solution to what they call a temporary problem. It isn’t always temporary, sure it goes at times to reveal the sun, but then it returns three-fold. It never leaves forever, they say it gets better, but sometimes it's hard to see that light at the end. Sometimes it's so far away it seems impossible to reach unless somebody else can help.

Everybody says it’s alright to be like this. Yet, they never help, they never offer up their hand to pull you out of the quicksand. They never attempt to push you forward in the tunnel. They stand, and they watch you break, until it’s suddenly benefiting for them to step in. Then, they dare to ask why you’re like this. It’s not a choice, it’s not something that can be so easily controlled. It’s a monster with its talons tearing into you.

So maybe, that’s why you did it. That’s why you inched closer and closer. Maybe that’s why you looked up and shut your eyes. Tapping fingers against the rooftop's edge. Humming tunes to try and steer your thought from doing the last resort. Just before the wrong decision could be made, you were grabbed and pulled back.

You felt so far from the world, nothing was clicking or connecting the dots. A harsh sting to your cheek brought your mind swirling back to the present. Noticing you were paying attention, the dark silhouette of a short male shouted words. “What were you thinking!” he hissed holding your shoulders with a firm grip.

“I… I don't know?” you mumbled feeling the tears swell in your eyes again.

“You don’t know? What the hell, I know we're all a little messed up but you can't…” it fell on him, his voice cutting out as he fell to his knees. His hands slid around you. Firmly holding you, he yanked your soaked body to his. His umbrella only hid your bodies from the wind with his ability. “How long, tell me how long.” his voice was breaking but still stern.

“I don’t know? Weeks, months, maybe years?” you don't move, afraid and cold, you could not meet his eyes. “Why do you care? You’ll just end up the same as everybody else. I’m worthless right? I mean, everybody leaves me alone. I don't fit beauty standards to perfection. Nobody would want me so, why not? Why not take the shortcut to happiness?” you were slapped again. It was light, but it stung enough to snap you from those thoughts again.

“Ya well think about somebody else! I don’t need two suicidal idiots! Having one to worry about is enough! Not that I worry about that mongrel! I do about you though, you’re my drinking partner. You’re the one who managed to get me to open up to being touched! I don’t hug or act... soft with anybody else! You don’t get to take that away! I don’t care what you look like, sound like, fuck, I don’t care about anything but what’s in there. In that fuckin heart! I am not a softy, you know I don’t say shit like this often but… you can’t do that! If you're miserable enough to really be willing to toss it all away, then you should talk to somebody!” his voice was panicked. Yes, he was being selfish. He knew that this wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t a feeling you could so easily overcome. Yet, here he was hoping that you would let him help you.

“I'm sorry! I’m so sorry! I just… I thought… wouldn’t it be better for everybody though? Sure you'd be sad at first but you'd forget about me!” Chuuya shook his head. Meeting your eyes with his clouded ocean ones. Tears fell, almost unnoticeable within the pouring rain.

“No, no I wouldn't! I wouldn't because I love you! I fell in love, I don't know how or when it… it just happened! Isn’t this enough? One person, am I not enough? If I had known I’d have held you to me, given you all the cuddles you ever needed!” he buried his face into the crook of your neck. He didn’t care if you felt the same or not at this point. He just needed to let you know somebody cared for you.

“Chuuya…” a light in the tunnel, it formed inside the tunnel.

It is, as they say, eventually you will meet that light. You will find meaning in your life. Something good will happen, then, all the people who put you here will be nothing but bad memories, and lingering ghosts of the past; You can move on. A light will come to you eventually, no matter how dark it seems, that light will show itself. In a friend, a relative, a job offer, an achievement. Those beads of light spread and eventually, they will pull you out enough to know true happiness.

When Chuuya looked worriedly to you, he was taken aback by your arms tossing around him. Your tears being muffled by his own lips. He kissed back before pulling away. Even if you still felt low you were slightly feeling better. Just knowing there was somebody to hold you like this was enough to curve the thoughts for a while.

He took his jacket and wrapped it around you, lifting you into his arms. He carried you to his penthouse, setting you down on the couch located in his bedroom. He looked around, finding one of his larger hoodies he tossed to you. He started hot chocolate as he waited for you to change. You’d probably be sick tomorrow, given it had been cold and you were drenched.

He carried the mug back to the couch, placing it down, he frowned. Walking to a closet, he pulled a small towel out. Rubbing it against your skull as you sniffled, he sighed. “Do you need anything else?” shaking your head, you grabbed his arm.

“Just… some cuddles?” he nodded holding you close, trying to warm your frigid body up. “Did you mean it? You'd really care if I…”

“Yeah, I did, is there a problem? I know it may not mean much. I know how depression works, at least a little bit. It’s not something that can be easily controlled. I just want you to know that you are perfect to me. If somebody ever tells you otherwise, I'll crush them to a pulp.” cracking a small smile, Chuuya's eyes lit up. “There we go, a small smile is a win. So you like me being all protective? Good, I’m a little territorial.”

Looking at him you nodded. “Yeah… okay.” you still sounded so sad.

“I'm serious! I’d squash even Mori if he insulted you in any way! You’re the most perfect thing I've ever seen and known! You're beautiful outside and inside, people are just jealous of how perfect you are.” he was trying to lift your spirits and it seemed to work a little.

“Can we just stay like this?” Chuuya nodded, letting you lean your head on his shoulder. He didn’t move even as you fell asleep.

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips. 

[dreamrecorder]

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

~

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

~

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

~

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

~

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

~ 

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

~

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

~

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall. 

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it. 

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

~

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more. 

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?” 

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils. 

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself. 

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice. 

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?” 

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

~

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue. 

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore. 

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil. 

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer. 

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night. 

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks

[earthlyyan]

Little Trainee (Platonic(?)Yan! Childe x Reader)

For @bye-bye-sunbird (thanks again for your help) Warnings: Abuse, Graphic descriptions of violence, Implied Torture, Eye Trauma, Unhealthy Sibling relationships, Childe being a sadist, Kidnapping? If you squint? Imprisonment? Betrayal 

Word Count: 3084

________________________________________________________________

He was gone.

Tartaglia held his younger brother’s fur-lined cap in his calloused hands, bringing it close to his chest. He’d taken off without it, wanting to be as far away from the killer that was his big brother so badly, he’d neglected to dress for the cold.

Despite his best efforts, Tartaglia had been unable to find him, and though tempted, he had refused to get the Fatui involved. It would further remind Teucer that his brother’s job was a terrifying one, too dark for the mind of a child to fully grasp. A child’s mind would never truly grasp why he had to kill, only that he had taken the life of another. And how that was an unforgivable sin.

He’d requested a day off work to prevent him from making any rash decisions on duty. He’d spent the day wandering aimlessly, desperately trying to gather his thoughts. He’d found himself in the familiar shambles of Dunyu Ruins. Perhaps he’d take out his frustrations on some ruin guards, or at least he’d considered it, until he saw you.

*

In and out and in and out.

Your sword found its way into the ruin guards eye again and again. It had been dead after the first thirteen stabs, but you didn’t care.

Your thrusts were becoming harder to maintain, your shallow breaths and sore arms halting your rage filled pursuit. Your legs straddled its large, heavy body, thick vines restrained its arms and legs.

It killed him. It killed your brother. The laser sliced his body while simultaneously cauterizing the wound, leaving him in two, unable to bleed. His face still frozen in that of agonizing pain.

It was going to kill you as well until a blinding green light appeared before you; a dendro vision.

You didn’t know how you did it, but now it was dead, and the gift of the archons laid on the ground before you. You hated it.

A gift of the gods, what a fucking joke.

You choked back the urge to vomit at the rancid scent before removing your sword from the gaping glass wound.

You kicked the hunk of metal as hard as you could before losing your balance and falling back onto the ground.

A man stood there; a couple years older than you. You’d fallen right at his feet.

He wordlessly helped you up off the ground before clearing his throat, as if to clear the air with it.

“You know, I’ve never seen someone receive a vision before.” His voice was light and airy. “I had been walking when it’s light blinded me. I regret not showing up sooner.”

You refused to look at the strange man, his words not registering. Your mind was too busy trying to process what had just happened.

“Hey,” His voice was louder, shaking you from your stunned stupor. He held out a handkerchief from his pocket. “You should probably get out of—”

“He’s dead.”

The man’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

“That thing killed him. He’s dead.” Your words were empty. You contemplated if you should be feeling anything else other than thinly veiled anger and disgust. You should’ve been sadder. The only thing you had felt at the time of you mindlessly stabbing the guard was desperation for your own survival, and fear that it would get up again. You were revolted at the sight of the corpse before you, but you weren’t terribly torn up about the death in itself. And that disgusted you.

Anyone else would’ve been. Anyone would’ve been devastated if they had watched their own kin get cut in two. But no, you were more worried about what you’d tell your mother.

You walked over to the remains of your brother and poked it with your foot, your blatant disrespect for the dead caught the man off guard. Your gut did flips in your stomach at the gruesome sight.

“You don’t seem too upset about it.” He seemed to lack the same feeling of fear at the sight of a corpse. You didn’t quite know how to feel about that. “Though, you don’t seem like you’ve got the guts to orchestrate it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughed. “The way you kept stabbing the poor ruin guard made me think it was self-defense, and that the death was an accident. But the fact that you’re not devastated at his death made me wonder that you did it intentionally.”

“And if it was?” “Then I think I’d applaud your ambition.”

*

The man introduced himself as Childe, a member of the Snezhnayan organization called the Fatui. He claimed to be a warrior of sorts, and that he had gone to Dunyu Ruins to take out some frustrations he had one some ruin guards. He then had stumbled across you stabbing a lifeless robot corpse.

He had treated you to lunch in Liyue, saying that leaving you to stew in your thoughts after witnessing something of that caliber was ill-advised.

“What were you doing in Dunyu Ruins?”

“My brother wanted to do something there. He wouldn’t tell me what it was.” You mumbled.

“And the sword?”

“The sword I have with me was the one he was carrying, but when his torso disconnected from his legs, his scabbard landed close to me. So I thought I might as well use it.” You stirred your soup with your spoon, not having much of an appetite.

“So why did he have the sword?”

“Archons know.” You sighed. “If I’m being frank, I think he was going to kill me.”

Childe lowered his tigerfish from his mouth. A light laugh left his lips, startling you. “What makes you think that?”

“I was father’s favorite, though I am the younger of the two of us. So when he found out he had left the inheritance to me instead of his eldest son, he thought it unfair.” You reluctantly brought the spoon to your lips and swallowed. “We had never gotten along; I was like a punching bag than his younger sibling.”

“And I suppose that’s why you’re not crying and mourning the loss?” His voice was mocking.

“Well, would you?”

Childe hummed. “I’m not sure, family is family, but…” his voice lowered into an inaudible mumble, pondering.

He was silent for a moment. He took a few bites of his grilled tigerfish. His eyes wandered to the scabbard at your hip. “You don’t know how to fight.”

“What? Where did this come from?” He hadn’t even finished his thought from before.

“The way you were holding the sword as you used it to kill the ruin guard was way off. Had you kept going, you could’ve gotten hurt. If you had held it properly you could still be stabbing it now. If you didn’t get that vision when you did, it could’ve killed you with how poorly you were handling yourself.”

“That’s the whole point of getting bestowed a vision. Saving you when you’re on the brink of death or something like that.” You shoved your spoon in your mouth again.

“Yes, true.” He sighed and set down the now empty skewer. “But if you hadn’t gotten it you would’ve ended up like—” “Okay jeez I get it!” You grumbled around the metal in your mouth. “What are you getting at?”

“Luckily for you, I’m quite skilled at the sword.” His chest puffed in pride. “And it’s not like you’re going to go home with half a brother in tow, yes?”

“So you want to train me? What good does that do you?” “I’ve always wanted to train someone in a weapon.” He smiled, though there was a tinge of sadness in his voice. Like he was looking forward to it before the invitation presented itself. “And now, I can.”

*

You were on the ground again, some shallow, superficial cuts littered your body, Childe’s blade inches from your throat.

“You left yourself open again. I told you this weeks ago and yet you can’t get it.” A disappointed sigh escaped his lips as he pinged the bridge of his nose. “Hunch, keep your legs apart, again.”

Some part of you wondered if Childe got off on hearing your groans and hisses when he slashed you. Something about the way he bounced on his legs and the way his grin seemed more genuine had you worried.

You slowly got yourself off the ground, your bones and muscles creaking in protest as you readied your brother’s blade again.

“If you’re sore it means its working.” His laugh echoed as he lunged himself at you again, leaving you a moment notice to swerve out of the way. “If you weren’t sore before it means you were doing it wrong.” He dodged an oncoming attack from your sword and swept your legs, leaving you on the floor again. Yup, he was definitely getting off on this.

*

Three months under Childe’s tutelage toned your body significantly. He seemed to be more eager to fight you these days. Saying that you were finally getting fun to fight or something like that.

“Despite your form issues in the beginning, you’re practically a natural.” He beamed as he extended a hand to you. “Fighting you is actually fun these days, and less boring.”

“It was boring before?” You were borderline insulted.

“Fighting against you was boring. Seeing you grow and mature as a fighter was interesting.”

“Uh huh.” You wiped the sweat from your brow. “Sure.”

He’d been gracious enough to let you room at his house. And for someone of his age, it was quite impressive for him to have one of this stature. You had your own room across the hall from his. He only had two rules when staying with him.

One: The lower levels were off limits. No matter what. He said that it had to do with his work, and that it would be unprofessional of him to allow someone to interfere.

Two: Don’t ask about his work.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about it. Sometimes he’d leave for days on end and come back beat up, other times you’d hear noises from the lower levels.

They sounded like screams.

You wondered what he’d have to do for a living to hear such noises from below. Sometimes he’d go down for hours and come up itching for a fight with you, other times he’d leave satisfied and covered in blood. You’d wondered if it was his own.

Something about it didn’t sit right with you, but a fight with Childe was not one you wanted to engage in. He’d know all your moves, considering he’d been the one to teach them to you. Whenever you’d try to bring it up, you’d be shut down with an uncharacteristic coldness from him. One that barely used, only when he was talking about his work, that is.

But tonight the screams were louder. They reached your room in the depths of the night, even with the door closed and pillows blocking your ears. You had to know.

You were sick of being left in the dark here, you were sick of hearing those screams from downstairs. You had to know.

Were you training under a serial killer? Childe didn’t seem like the type, or was he?

The strange amount of pleasure he’d get when watching you get hurt by his hand. The ruthless way he’d slaughter hillichurls and treasure hoarders alike. No matter who or what it was, its death was no different to Childe. It seemed to light him ablaze, having him itching for a fight with anything that moved, and when it stopped moving, he’d be disappointed.

 The screams had died down after a few hours. You had to wait until you heard his boots go back upstairs and into the room across the hall.

You had to be more quiet if you were going to get in and out of there before he noticed you.

After these escapades he would take a shower, the running water would be enough to cover your footsteps going down the hall, truly.

A minute after the shower started running you made your move. It was easy to pick out what door led to the basement, due to the sheer amount of deadbolts and locks keeping it closed. He’d left the key in the door, probably to stop whoever was in the basement from looking through the keyhole. Smart move for him when it came to living alone, but with company, it was practically begging to be used.

And use it you did. Deadbolt after deadbolt, you finally turned the key.

The basement was warm and sweet smelling. But not in the pleasant way sweets were supposed to smell.

It made your stomach ache and twist as you descended the staircase, closing the door behind you.

The clinking of chains got your attention before the sight of blood had. The lights had flickered on, illuminating the sight before you. You couldn’t hold back your vomit anymore.

Your suspicions were right, or so it seemed, with the sheer amount of bodies below. One was still living, trembling, and hunching away from you. “Did Childe do this?” You knew the answer but had to be sure. Perhaps it was an associate he worked with, or some weird fetish.

The man nodded, “I didn’t have enough money.”

“What?”

“To pay back the Northland Bank.” He stammered. “I couldn’t pay them back, so they sent him.”

“He’s a debt collector?”

The man shook his head. “No. He doesn’t care about collecting the debt, not like the others.”

There were others?

“He gets sent in after the warning deadlines are up. You pay with your—”

The man abruptly stopped, looking past you and onto the stairwell. Then he couldn’t see at all.

An arrow flew past you, barely grazing your ear before finding itself in the mans eye socket. He slumped to the ground, lifeless. You whizzed around to meet the source, only to find Childe, an arrow drawn taught in the bow you’d barely see leave his side.

“Well that’s disappointing.” He sighed. “I was hoping to make him last another day.” He grimaced. “That was a warning shot, by the way.” He walked down the stairs slowly, still aiming at you. “Put your back to the wall.”

He almost sounded sad. You were too shocked to move.

An arrow landed at your feet, standing straight up against the ground. “I said ­put your back to the wall. That wasn’t a suggestion.”

You tripped over the man’s corpse while making it to the wall. “Childe I—” “Nope, too late for that. Hands up.” He slowly lowered his weapon and made a show of putting it away. He wanted you to know he still had it. He leaned in close to your face. “Now that’s a look I haven’t seen in quite some time.” His voice was low, husky. “Betrayal looks so good on you.”

You could feel his hot breath on your neck. You growled and threw your head forward, colliding with his. He took a step back.

Blood ran down from his forehead, his eyes practically glowing with excitement. “Oh hoh~ Now that’s what I’m talking about. A real fight from you.” He drew hydro blades from his sides and threw one at you. “I’m expecting improvement from you, my little trainee.”

You picked up the cool blade from your feet, never breaking eye-contact with him. “I’ll kill you.”

“You better hope you do. For your sake, at least.” You lunged at him, swiftly finding your way behind him, ready to strike.

“Your stance has gotten better.” He smiled. “But I’m afraid it still leaves you open” He kicked off from the ground and into the air, his foot collided with your chin sending you reeling.

“You bastard.” You hissed, picking yourself off from the ground with the steadiness of a newborn deer. “Why not be more quiet about your escapades down here? If you’d had your victims quiet down, I would’ve never found about what you were doing.”

“I never said I never wanted you to find out what I was doing.” He ran at you again, slicing your shirt and your left shoulder along with it. “I was hoping you’d have enough faith in your teacher to follow my rules.” He sighed. “I didn’t take you for the curious type.”

“I’m not.” You said, you swept at his leg, but he narrowly escaped, jumping just high enough to miss it. “But I enjoy liking to sleep in peace knowing my upperclassmen isn’t a serial killer.”

“I’m no serial killer!” He laughed, landing a cut to your lower back, then stepping hard on it. You fell to the ground trapped under his heel. “I’m simply following orders. I have nothing against these people.” He pressed harder.

You suppressed a scream.

“I do have a problem with those who interfere. You were going to help him, weren’t you?”

You’d be lying if you said you were going to leave him to die.

“Weren’t you?” His voice was closer to your ear this go round.

“Yes! Yes, I was!” You sobbed. “I just wanted to—”

“I’ve heard this before. Suddenly you have the moral upright to save a dying stranger? But you sat back and kicked your brother’s corpse?”

“That was different!” “Sure it was. A man is a man is a man, yeah?” His foot lifted from your back and turned you onto your stomach. “See the difference between me and a serial killer, is that if I was a serial killer, I probably would kill you right now.” He sighed. “But see, I like you. So I think I’ll let you live. Though don’t expect things to go back to normal. I can’t expect you to stay quiet and continue your training in the open alongside me.” He leaned you up against the wall, easily fighting against your protests. He took your wrists and cuffed them to the wall.

The restraints were still warm.

You shuddered.

“See, here’s the thing.” He said. He cupped your cheek with his spare hand. “I don’t want to leave you the way you are, half trained. I do enjoy fighting you.” He finished tying you upright and smiled, admiring his handiwork. “I’ll let you go under one condition.”

For the first time since you’d met him, his smile finally reached his eyes.

“You’re free if you can kill me.”

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 11

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: nothing (i think?) Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

a/n: hi all please be patient I am having some writers block/lack of motivation lately for writing so this series may be a bit on a pause (hopefully not) but I am working to get out more drabbles to maybe just get some inspo or something!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Waking up in Bucky’s arms felt just too good to be true. You were sure it was a dream, a nice, new dream Fate had blessed you with, but when Bucky shifted beside you and you felt every sensation, you knew you were truly awake. 

It also helped tremendously that you had a pleasant dream about him. It feels like centuries since you were shaken awake by the actions of The Winter Soldier. You couldn’t even consider any of it the actions of him next to you, feeling like the person in your dreams was and wasn’t the man in this bed. Everything felt like it intertwined dangerously, vines running through your mind. But, truthfully, you didn’t wanna think too much about it. You were finally getting your chance at the real soulmate experience, dates and dreams and all, and that was too priceless to spend time dwelling over much else.

Bucky awoke slowly, his normally rough eyes met yours in the softest manner. You two were tangled comfortably, still in most of last night's clothing, minus your panties and Bucky’s sweater which he must’ve ditched in the middle of the night. But none of that bothered you for a second. You were just too glad to be in this bed with your soulmate, cocooned lovingly in the sheets.

Bucky’s hoarse morning voice broke the silence, “Good morning.”

You smirked. “Good morning.” You shifted on your side and Bucky removed his arm from your waist, letting you get comfortable. The other arm around your shoulder stayed put. Quite surprisingly, it was his metal one. You could see Bucky’s torso completely now, the light from the sun hitting him in just the right way. Your eyes traveled from his arm to his shoulder, looking curiously. He was a fascinating phenomenon that you couldn’t believe was yours.

Thankfully, Bucky didn’t shiver away at the interest you were taking again in his arm and instead, indulged in your curiosity. “What’s going on in that pretty brain of yours?”

Your eyes snapped back to Bucky’s face. Your cheeks heated up from the question, feeling like you were caught doing something wrong. But Bucky didn’t look at all upset. Slowly, your eyes drifted back down and your hand came up to caress the base of his neck, just barely skimming his shoulder. He shuddered under the feeling.

“Does it… Does it hurt or anything?” You asked, suddenly feeling very stupid the second the words left your mouth. You bit your lip, trying to find the words to peddle back, but Bucky didn’t seem very bothered by it.

“No,” he shook his head. “I guess I don’t think much about it now. It’s just part of me. Obviously.”

You nodded, still letting your hand trace invisible patterns on his skin. “And you use it to fight bad guys?”

Bucky chuckled. “You’re still on that, huh?” You smirked and shrugged, wordlessly asking him to continue. “I… I help where I can. Don’t think it’s much to get excited about it but I like to think I have a hand in making the world better. It’s the least I could do since…” His words trailed off, leaving a kind of heaviness in the conversation. Bucky’s eyes lost their softness. They were beginning to water up but before any tear could escape, he spoke again. “You know, I actually am glad you brought this up. I have a mission soon.”

Your brows furrowed. “What?” 

He nodded and sat up in the bed, untangling you two. You followed his motions, gripping the blanket to you as you now sat side-by-side. 

“Should just be for a day or so. Mainly just gathering intel, nothing really crazy from the looks of it, but I still wanted to let you know.”

“W-When?”

“Tomorrow.”

Your jaw went slack. “You have a mission to leave for tomorrow and I’m just now hearing about it?”

Despite your rising anger, you let Bucky take your hand in his. He rubbed soft circles on your skin. “Doll, I promise, I didn’t know about it until yesterday morning.”

“Were you going to tell me?” You were a bit surprised by how softly your words came out, just barely making it above a whisper. Your heart was pounding loudly in your ears, worry and uncertainty course through you. You didn’t know what these missions could really entail. Could they really just be intel gathering? What if stuff goes wrong? Stuff goes wrong all the time, right? Your head was swimming and all you really knew was that you were losing your soulmate for a bit. Sure, you had gone your entire life without him (and he went without you much longer) but now you two were connected. It was practically set in stone. The situation had changed drastically and now he was leaving to do God knows what…

Bucky let out a sigh, the noise forcing you out of your worried thoughts. He spoke gently as if sensing the uneasiness within you, “Yes, I planned to, doll, I just didn’t know how to bring it up. When you asked about my job again, I just jumped on the opportunity, okay? I swear, I wasn’t going to just disappear.”

You wrapped your arm around his, leaning closer to rest your head in the crook of his neck. He shifted to welcome the touch. 

“You can’t disappear,” you whispered. “After what happened that night on the phone…” It flashed back. The dial tone in your ear, the thought of Bucky gone in the night. You didn’t want to remember those feelings, really. “You gotta promise me you’re going to be safe.”

Bucky let out a soft chuckle and you possibly would’ve found it comical, it was actually quite funny asking an ex-assassin to be safe, but thanks to the bond, there wasn’t anything funny about anything. You couldn’t imagine even having to put a bandaid on him. 

“I’ll be safe, doll,” he said. “Try not to worry.”

You scoffed. “Impossible.”

A moment passed before Bucky reached to cup the side of your face. Instinctively, you brought your face up to meet his. His expression as he stared back with a true whirlwind of emotions. Sadness, appreciation, love… But he didn’t express anything outwardly, and instead just placed his lips on yours. His body pressed into you as the kiss deepened, slowly pushing you back to the bed. You two fell back once again into the entanglement of one another. 

***

“You’re going to be okay, right?” 

“Yes, sweetheart, I’ll be fine.”

You tried giving an understanding nod but still, all you felt was worry as you and Bucky stood outside your apartment building saying your goodbyes. It was early and he had made sure to stop by before you had to leave for work. You thought you two had said your goodbyes in more ways than one yesterday but he wasn’t leaving so easily and you were secretly glad.

“I’m just making sure,” you sighed and reached to grab his hand. He accepted, intertwining your fingers.

“I know,” he nodded. “Are you going to be okay?”

You raised your brows. “Me?” You let out a small laugh. “I’m not the one going on a mission to do who knows what in God knows where.”

Bucky shook his head, a small smirk on his lips. “No, but I still have to make sure you’re safe here.”

“Bucky, I’ve spent a lot of time alone. I’m going to be just fine.”

Bucky’s expression morphed into something unsettling. He looked quite distressed at your comment, which you hadn’t truly expected, but hearing it out loud, you wanted to cringe at the statement. It was probably the most uncomfortable reminder but Bucky didn’t mention anything about it.

“I’m just making sure.” He repeated your words as a teasing remark, making you let out a small sigh of relief.

In a quick last-minute move, you pulled him closer to place a loving kiss on his lips. He smiled into it as his other hand came up to caress your cheek. Warmth raced through you as he broke the kiss.

“Have a good day at work, doll.”

“Have a good mission, Buck.”

***

You thanked your lucky stars that work today was ridiculously slow. It was almost the weekend but the usual rush of morning folks had dwindled pretty fast. Truly, though, this was a best-case scenario in your eyes because in between the fleeting customers and out of the watchful gaze of your boss, you took time to send Bucky some texts. While, yes, you knew he hated texting (who could blame him with the T9 keyboard he was working with) but you still thought they would be nice for him to read. 

I’m sure you’re high off in the sky getting briefed on your task but I wanted to wish you luck. You hit send with a goofy grin feeling a bit silly and a bit… concerned. Your worry for Bucky hadn’t stopped and you knew most likely it was consequences of being separated from your soulmate but you wished the gnawing at your soul would quit it. Still, though, a part of you felt giddy being able to send him cute little things while he was gone.

Your coworker took notice of your behavior quite quickly. As she came around the counter  restocking the syrups, she asked, “What’s got you all lovestruck?”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your smile. “Bucky’s gone for a bit and I was just sending him a little love note.”

Your coworker chuckled. “A love note. Oh, how far you two have come.” With that sentiment, she went back to her restocking, leaving you to stare at your phone. You nodded to yourself realizing, yeah, you and Bucky had come far. You didn’t know if all relationships hit the gas pedal but there had always been an urgency with you even before ever looking at Bucky. You had wanted this for a while, always unsure if you would get it thanks to what the nightmares showed, but now it was real. It was as Bucky said, if it felt right to you two, then it must be.

Thinking of you. You sent off another little message before sliding your phone back into your pocket. You waited the rest of your shift but never received anything back, not that you really expected it, though. You figured if he had time to call, he was going to wait for that opportunity. 

Eventually, the clock hit quitting time and you exited the coffee shop, waving a brief goodbye to your coworker. Standing on the sidewalk, you half expected to maybe see Bucky eager to walk you home or take you to dinner but the street was gravely empty. You shook off the unusual thought and began your journey home. 

It was a fairly quiet night and you were thankful for that. It gave you a chance to just be with yourself for a second after a whirlwind of days and nights with Bucky by your side. Maybe this distance would be good, you thought. The distance creates a need and your reunion would be unlike anything you had ever felt before. You blushed at the thought.

You made your way into your apartment building and up the stairs. Unlocking your door, you threw down your items and began getting ready for bed. The softness of it was just begging for you. While you would’ve loved to be back in Bucky’s, you were dying for a bit of sleep to maybe ease your hyperactive thoughts of your soulmate and his mission. 

After taking off your make-up and getting on your pajamas, you crawled under the covers. Sleep hit you almost immediately, a new occurrence you were getting used to. You never really recalled a time when you were welcoming sleep with open arms.

But maybe you were counting your blessings too soon. Tonight ended up not being how it had been for the past few days. The nightmares came back in a sudden rush, way too fast for you to even think about what the hell was going on. You felt so lost, being pushed so many steps back in your progress, as scenes of fighting and guns blazing flashed in and out without any warning. The emotions came back as well. Need and anger were swelling in your heart as you fought and fought within the nightmares. Everything began feeling…so real. The nightmares felt strong as your body felt it had a mind of its own, tossing around your bed in panic as your brain filled with the images and… yells?

You were shaking now. You didn’t remember hearing sounds in your nightmares before but everything can be suppressed if you’re traumatized enough, you figured. But there was just something within you that didn’t feel right. Granted, nothing was right about the nightmares but this was different… these sounds felt real and sudden… Your brain was screaming. What the...

Something cold hit your back. At first, you had thought your blanket fell off but when you went to grab it, you found your hands were bound together. Real panic, nothing of the dream kind, raced through you. Your eyes bolted open. 

You didn't find your blanket because it wasn’t there. You weren’t in your bed. Hell, you weren’t even in your apartment. You were alone, shoved into a dark cell, your back pressed against a cold, metal wall. The panic was settling in but you couldn’t find the strength to react besides staring around frantically in the dark. You couldn’t make out anything, barely able to even see your own body. It was deadly silent.

You began praying to whatever was out there that this was just a dream, that you just really couldn't wake up, you had only thought you woke up. But that just wasn’t the case and a sad part of you really knew it. Nightmares suddenly weren’t just reserved for bedtime.

[schrijverr]

Vampire Venom Confession

To save an injured Alucard, Trevor lets him drink his blood. When he’s all loopy on the vampire venom in his system after, he lets it slip how much Sypha and Alucard mean to him and gets cuddles.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed any!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Alucard was injured.

He was often injured as were they all on their track through Wallachia to wipe out the last of what was left of Dracula’s forces, but he wasn’t healing. And that was cause for concern, because both Trevor and Sypha had seen him heal from much worse, much quicker.

So Trevor was trying to stop the bleeding while Sypha was looking for bandages and anything to clean the wound with.

“We’re out of bandages,” she called out, voice laced with panic. “Do you have clean cloth we could cut up?”

“No!” Trevor yelled back, of course he didn’t. They had just been attacked, their cart was mostly destroyed and all he had was night creature gut soaked clothes. “Come on, Alucard. Stay with me here. Can’t have the only good vampire in history die on me. Open those eyes.”

It was obviously a struggle, but Alucard did as he was told, groaning loudly.

“Yeah, that’s it. Focus on me,” Trevor told him. “You’re gonna be fine, just stay with me now. We’re going to need to burn this closed, okay? We don’t have any other means.”

Alucard’s eyes went wide and he shook his head no, trying to wordlessly protest Trevor’s suggestion.

“What? Why not?” Trevor asked, shaking Alucard when it looked like he wanted to slip into darkness again. Sypha was now sitting next to him, her brown also knitted in concern as she held up her hand, ready to summon fire.

“Don’t- don’t have the energy to fight it,” Alucard wheezed. “I will burn.”

“FUCK.”

The loud exclamation by Trevor was felt through them all. It was frustrating that after all this Alucard should bleed out here, just because he spend too much of himself. He had fought Dracula and lived, he shouldn’t perish from lack of resources. It was just wrong.

“Is there nothing we can do?” Sypha asked. “Don’t think of morality here.”

Alucard swallowed, guilt in his eyes as he looked away. Another wave of pain washed over him and he made up his mind as he groaned: “Blood. Need – ugh – blood.”

“Okay, then,” Trevor nodded, “that’s settled then,” before pulling off his tunic and hoisting Alucard up to his neck.

“No, I- I can’t,” Alucard protested weakly.

“You can and you will, you fucking dick,” Trevor snapped. “Now bite, asshole. You’re not kneeling over, not on my watch.”

There must have been something in his voice that made Alucard trust his judgment and convinced him that Trevor knew what he was getting into, because Sypha watched how relief flitted through his eyes before he sank his fangs into the tender meat of Trevor’s neck. And the moment blood started to flow, he drank greedily.

The effect was immediate, the flesh stitchingitself together and color returningto his skin, to the extend his skin held color that was of course.

He also got increasingly steady and soon it was him holding up Trevor instead of the other way around, while the hunter hang limply in his arms. The only reaction he gave to having fangs in his neck was softly gasping here and there that let Sypha know he was still conscious.

She wondered if Alucard knew when to stop or if the blood was too tempting now that he was drinking. She bit her lip, before tentatively asking: “Alucard? Alucard, how much do you need? Is he okay?”

Alucard hummed that he had heard her, but stayed attached to Trevor’s neck for a few more seconds, before licking the puncture wounds until they had stopped bleeding. Then he leaned back, sitting upright by himself as if he had not been on deaths door moments ago.

Sypha was incredibly relieved to see him okay, but with the confirmation that Alucard was okay, she moved her attention to Trevor, who had not moved from where he was half sitting in Alucard’s lap, head now leaning on Alucard’s shoulder, his eyes far away.

“Is he okay?” she asked, then snapped her fingers in front of Trevor’s eyes, getting little to no response. “Hey, Trevor. Trevor. Can you hear me? Please say something.”

“He is fine, Sypha. Do not worry,” Alucard assured her. “He is just under the influence of the venom in my fangs, which is meant to relax its victims. He will be tired and he’s probably dizzy right now, but nothing he won’t recover from. The venom should be easing out of his system soon. He should drink and eat something when he gets back to us.”

Not completely convinced, but at least put at ease by Alucard’s words, she opted to quickly grab some water and a bit of bread. Then she kept a close eye on Trevor, while Alucard kept him cradled to his chest. At least the puncture wounds were healing more rapidly than normal.

When Trevor first started to stir again, a few minutes later, she perked up with relief.

Trevor groaned loudly, blinking heavily as the world spun in front of his eyes, before Alucard and Sypha came back into focus. Blearily he looked at Alucard, then he frowned in confusion, before he smiled. “You’re alive. That’s- that’s good.”

He moved to pat Alucard on the chest, against which he was resting with his torso and arms, but the movement seemed too much work and he gave up. “I’m tired,” he told them.

“I can imagine,” Sypha smiled. “Here drink this.”

She offered him the water and he didn’t even protest as she held the watersack for him. It was slightly unnerving to see him try and fail to drink properly, with half of the water spilling over his chin and down his chest.

When he had drank enough she offered him small bites of bread and he seemed okay enough to slowly munch on them, which was a relief. As he ate his last piece of bread he asked: “What happened again?”

“I was injured,” Alucard said. “You saved me by letting me drink your blood. I haven’t taken too much, but you will definitely feel the effects. Can you describe how you’re feeling to us?”

“Me?” Trevor asked surprised, then seemingly delighted that he was even asked. “Me, well, I feel great.”

“Define great,” Alucard deadpanned and Sypha couldn't help but snort at them. It was a strange sight to see Trevor, usually so closed off and guarded, act silly with his emotions just there, yet still managing to annoy Alucard.

“That’s a big ask,” Trevor told him, almost philosophically. “But, I am floating. Are we floating? You can float right?”

“Yes, I can float, but we are not floating,” Alucard said. “Do you mean that you feel dizzy by any chance?”

“Ah, yes, dizzy,” Trevor lit up when the word came to him. “I feel dizzy. But also warm and soft. Am I on a pillow?”

“No, you’re leaning against Alucard,” Sypha told him with a small grin.

“Wow, this is almost a hug,” Trevor said, completely oblivious to what impact his words might have both on himself and the others. “God, I don’t remember the last time anyone hugged me. Must have been my mother before she was killed.”

Immediately the lighthearted mood at Trevor’s antics fell and Alucard couldn't help but clutch the hunter closer to his chest, making him sigh in content. He shared a look with Sypha over that and both nodded, determined to give Trevor affection now that he was susceptible for it.

“Why am I not wearing a shirt?” The moment was broken by Trevor, who had finally discovered he was no longer wearing a shirt.

“You took it off to give Alucard access to your neck, Trevor,” Sypha answered.

“That seems slightly unnecessary,” frowned Trevor, making them both laugh at his commentary on his own actions. He looked confused. “What? What’s so funny.”

“Nothing, Trevor, nothing,” Sypha assured him. “Why don’t we get you back into a shirt, how does that sound?”

“Good,” Trevor smiled, completely okay with letting his earlier question go. “Though, I do feel a bit heavy and- hmm, un- un…movable, yes. Unmovable. Like a baby.” His eyes went wide, “Oh my God, am I a baby?”

“No, Trevor, not in that sense at least,” Alucard laughed.

Both were glad that Trevor had forgotten about his earlier comment about the hug. Even though it hadn’t left their minds yet, it was nice to not see their friend sad anymore. This was ruined when Sypha held up his tunic and Alucard had to rearrange Trevor to help him into it. The moment he had done so, Trevor had whimpered.

“What’s wrong?” Sypha immediatelyasked, jumping to all sorts of horrible conclusions. Yet nothing could have prepared her heart for Trevor softly saying: “Don’t leave me here.”

“We will never leave you, Trevor,” she promised. “We just want to help you back in your shirt.”

“You promise?” Trevor asked.

“We promise,” Alucard answered for them, quickly hugging Trevor close before helping him into his tunic in record speed so that he could pull Trevor back into his arms again.

While Alucard held Trevor tightly, Sypha started a quick fire and spread out Trevor’s cloak for them to lie on. With him in this condition they wouldn’t be traveling anyway. She also got the covering of whatever was left of the cart to use as blanket, before making her way back to the two men.

Alucard had positioned them in such a way that Trevor was now completely in his lap. Their chests were against one another and Trevor’s face was hidden in the crook of Alucard’s neck, while the vampire rubbed his back and whisper soft comforts in his ear.

When their eyes met Sypha gestured to the blankets and raised a questioning brow. Alucard nodded then turned to Trevor. “Hey, I’m going to move you now, is that okay? We’re not going far, just lying down with Sypha.”

“Still dizzy,” Trevor mumbled.

“I’ll be gentle okay?” Alucard waited until Trevor had nodded against his neck, then he slipped his hands under Trevor’s thighs and stood up slowly, using his supernatural strength to keep Trevor still as he did so.

He lowered Trevor into Sypha’s waiting arms, who cradled his head against her chest as Alucard took the blanket to spread out over them all.

Trevor ended up with his head pillowed on Sypha and Alucard curled up against his back protectively, spooning him closely. He seemed content to just lie there, sighing into Sypha as she carded her hand through his hair.

Right when they thought he had fallen asleep, he said: “This is nice. Almost like I have a family again.” Then he truly drifted off, leaving them with both fondness and an innate sadness piercing their chests as they hugged him tighter.

The next morning Trevor woke last, but still warm, pressed tightly between two bodies as they conversed about magic above his head.

“What are you two doing?” he asked. While it wasn’t uncommon for them to share body heat during the colder nights, they usually didn’t keep laying there in the morning and it was usually Sypha in the middle. He also didn’t usually wake up with a massive headache and he was sure that if he had been drinking, they wouldn’t have been sharing a bed with him.

“Keeping you company,” Sypha smiled as if it was all completely normal.

“Huh? Why?” The moment he asked the happenings of yesterday returned to him and he felt himself flush scarlet at how he had just said the most depressingly lonely things to them, before begging them to stay. “Oh God.”

He tried to curl into himself as if that would make him disappear, but that was quite impossible with how close the others were and he hated how nice it was.

“Ahw, there’s no need for that,” Sypha assured him, again carding a hand through his hair like she had done the night before.

“Yes, we really don’t mind,” Alucard assured him, squeezing him tight in that same comforting manner.

“It really does, actually,” he shot back, embarrassed. “I turned into a huge baby. You had to fucking feed me for fucks sake. And I acted like an idiot, that was so unnecessary and massively pathetic. I mean, seriously, you carried me and I nearly cried when you let go for a moment.”

Both sighed sadly.

They had predicted that Trevor in the morning would not be so open to affection and would try to rebuilt the walls he had around his heart, but they couldn't just pretend he hadn’t bared his soul to them and shown them how touch-starved he was.

“Trevor,” Sypha said, coaxing him to look at her, which he did with small pout-y and squint-y, yet unsure eyes. “We both made a promise to you yesterday. We didn’t just do that because you had lost a lot of blood and needed reassurance. We meant that.”

“You- you did?” There was the same vulnerable edge in his voice that had been there yesterday and both Sypha and Alucard could feel this was a big turning point in their lives that could be vastly different if they said something wrong.

“Yes, Trevor,” Alucard spoke up. “You’re our family too.”

The embarrassed flush came back and he hid his face in Sypha’s stomach again, unwilling to look at them just yet. Sypha couldn't help but coo slightly at the action: “Ahw, you’re so cute, Trevor. Why did you hide such a sweet sight from us?”

“‘M not cute,” came the muffled reply.

“No,” Alucard agreed, for a moment letting Trevor think he was on his side, before adding, “you’re adorable.”

Trevor turned to glare at them both, flush still prominent on his face along with a pout that did not help his argument. He sniffed: “I hate you both.”

“No you don’t,” Sypha said, digging her fingers into his sensitive sides and making him squeak, before protesting that it was cheating, but there was a smile on his face and after a brutal team up attack, he admitted: “Okay, okay, I don’t. You two don’t suck.”

Alucard and Sypha grinned, victory.

It wouldn’t solve everything in one night, but both were determined to keep their promise and if Trevor sought out hugs a bit more after and if sleeping in a cuddle pile became common place, then that was only a good thing.

~~

A/N:

This was actually sillier and less angsty than I had imagined it to be, which is a surprise because so far Trevor always makes my writing needlessly sad, but good for him.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Can I request a dark king Steve and inexperienced princess please? Thank you❤❤

First of all, I’m so sorry it took me so much time to finish this request. However, I’m very grateful to you for it because it made me remember my favorite mini-series Gormenghast 😌💖 Hope you’re going to enjoy this!

Boy in the castle

Pairing: king!Steve Rogers x princess!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, death of minor characters, forced marriage, allusion to non-con.

Words: 2430.

____________________

When coup d'etat had happened - for the first time in centuries - your old nanny almost had a heart attack, locking you two in your chamber high up in the tower and barricading the window. The bastard boy would kill you, she kept repeating over and over until your head hurt. He is wicked as the Devil himself, she said, holding a heavy fireplace poker in her old shaky hands as a weapon. He will stab you in the back as he did to your royal father or poison you like he poisoned the Queen. 

That time you thought it would be much easier to push you throw the window and make you fall from the tower instead. Why bother with a knife or a poison? But you didn’t voice over your thoughts to your old nanny, knowing well her old heart wasn’t strong enough for this conversation. Strangely, you felt nothing hearing of the death of your parents. From your books you knew people were ought to mourn their families, but sadness had never come to you, anyway. Could it be because you only saw the King and Queen several times a year since you had been three years old? Maybe so.

Nevertheless, your nanny kept talking and talking about the dangers waiting for you outside of your room: the new King would murder anyone who posed a threat to him, and he had most likely already killed your younger brother, a true heir to the throne. You shrugged your shoulders at her words in return - you saw the boy as much as you did your parents. Despite being both a princess and King’s and Queen’s firstborn, most of the time you were confined to your chamber up in the tower where the only one serving you was your old nanny, a woman who had been taking care of you since the time you were born. You only encountered other people on special occasions like your honored brother’s birthday or the first day of a new year when you were allowed to leave your chamber.

You couldn’t feel sorry for those the new King had killed - the one who had never felt compassion from others barely knew what it meant to care about another human being. Of course, you loved your nanny, that foolish old woman who still slapped your back hard if you didn’t sit straight in your chair while reading, but you had long found peace with the thought that one day she would die, too, leaving you all alone. You weren’t scared of that. You had always been alone, locked away and forgotten even by the faithful servants of the King.

Maybe that was why you weren’t worried about being killed by the bastard boy who came to power. Being backstabbed certainly wasn’t pleasant, but it was a quick death, maybe even an easy one: in some books you read people were skinned alive or burnt at the stake, and you imagined it to be much more painful.

Silly girl, your nanny had told you then, weakened by the lack of food - it was the second day of your imprisonment after coup d'etat. The new King could do so much worse things to you, the only woman belonging to the old royal dynasty.

At the end of the third day when you were delirious from lack of water, the guards had broken down the heavy wooden door of your chamber, and a shy little maid got in, carrying a large tray of food. The new King had probably picked the poison, you thought then when the girl poured water right into your mouth and it run on your dry, parched lips. moistening your skin and hair. She fed you some chicken soup while the guards forced the food down your nanny’s throat. Oddly, neither her no you died that day.

What could the bastard boy possibly want from you, your nanny asked over and over again, passing from one corner of your chamber to the other while you cleaned yourself in a metal basin filled with cold water. Wasn’t he supposed to kill you like all other members of the royal family? You thought so, too, but didn’t speak out loud to the old woman, knowing of her poor nerves.

When several man dressed as court attendants came to your chamber in a week, they announced your marriage to the new King, and a few maids assigned to you took your screaming and cursing old nanny away, assuring you no one would harm her. You, on the other hand, were brought to the castle, an army of maids following you to what they said was your new chamber, a large room with several windows and walls decorated with peculiar floral paintings. It was beautiful, but you felt you missed that small room high up in the tower with no one but your old foolish nanny by your side.

The new King was fearsome yet fair to the ones under his control, the maids told you, all eager to speak to you as you were left alone by the guards. He was a kitchen boy once, they said, a bastard son of some lady’s maid who left him right after giving birth, afraid to be punished by her mistress. Weak and ugly with his body like a twig, the boy was smart enough to rise in his ranks over years, becoming the servant of the court magician - you saw him once or twice on your brother’s birthday celebrations, you thought. Weaving his net around all right people of the royal court for years, in the end Steven Rogers overthrew the old King, the man who cared about no one but himself, and the Queen who was more worried about her cats rather than her people dying of hunger.

The new King was a good man, all of them told you once they bathed and clothed you, combed your wild hair and put some flower oil behind your ears and on your wrists. It was good he decided to marry you, the one forgotten even by your people.

Be nice to him, they warned you before escorting you to his chambers, be gentle and choose your words right when speaking to him, and then you’ll be safe and sound. The new King wasn’t a bad man, oh no, he just suffered so much inside the castle walls.

When you entered his chambers, the ones belonging to your father before, you saw so much light coming from open windows it made you hold you breath for a second. You had only been here once - on the day when your brother, the successor to the throne, was born - yet you still remembered how dark and gloomy was the room lit by dozens of candles smelling like pig fat. It was so odd to see the same room that looked so different now.

The man standing up from a heavy mahogany desk turned towards you, and you saw his handsome face: his eyes were of dark blue color like the twilight sky; his skin pale but cheeks a bit rosy as if he had just returned from outside; when you saw his full lips, you thought they were too sensual for a man, though not that you knew much about men, anyway. Truly, the new King looked like he belonged here - maybe even more than your father, old as ancient skies, with his back hunched and crooked. He wasn’t dressed in a heavy dark mantle of your father but in an embroidered and slashed doublet, ankle-length breeches fastened with points, a sword of your father hanging by the man’s side. Oh, he looked so much more like an Ancient King than your father ever did.

“People said you are ugly.” You said, watching his face with curiosity and tilting your head to the side - your old nanny hated this habit of yours. “But I don’t think it is true.”

“I have been ugly.”

He didn’t speak loudly, yet you heard his low voice perfectly clear in the silence of this huge chamber, his expression calm but eyes unsettling.

“But one day I have drunk the potion the court magician prepared for your father, Your Highness.”

Funny, you thought, coming a little closer - you struggled to walk in this heavy crimson dress with many layers, the neckline adorned with precious stones generously. It was probably one of your mother’s dresses she never wore.

Watching his dark blonde hair shining in the sunlight, suddenly you remembered something, something you had long forgotten, and you stopped, watching the blue eyes that now seemed familiar. A little boy with his body so feeble he could get swept away by the wind. No, no, he couldn’t be. It was impossible.

“You’re the boy who fell off the Moon.” You stared at him with your eyes wide, your lips slightly open as you saw the little guy whose name you didn’t remember - the one who had fell on your balcony when you lived in the castle for a couple of months while your chamber in the tower was being repaired.

He was a funny boy, skinny as a rail with his hands so white you thought he had always been cold. When he turned up on your balcony, you had been reading and almost screamed at the loud sound of him falling. Gladly, you didn’t make a sound - the guards were everywhere in the castle, and they’d surely take him.

You remembered the boy saying he was a moon knight, showing you how he handled the invisible sword he carried and, once you two sat in front of the fireplace, he told you many stories of all places he visited and things he saw. Gladly, he disappeared before your nanny showed up, carrying a tray of food in her shaky hands, but the boy came the next day, and then the day after that, and after that one, too. He kept coming for seven more days before the reparation of your chamber had been completed, and you moved back. Sadly, he couldn’t get to the Tower, saying the angle wasn’t right to jump off the Moon.

“Yes, Your Highness. I am the boy you let into your room years ago.”

A part of you refused to believe him - the new King is too big and handsome to be the little boy whose arms were so skinny you thought you could see his bones through the skin. Besides, for many years you kept thinking the Moon knight was just a dream you saw. But what if the new King told you the truth? What if it was him?

“I remember standing on one knee in front of you and pretending giving you an invisible ring as something to remember me by when I’d return to the Moon.” His face lightened up for a couple of seconds, and suddenly you saw the familiar twinkley eyes and that shy little smile when the new King curled his lips. “Isn’t it peculiar I have been thinking about those days with you when the Royal Chef whipped me till my back bled? When I was strangling him, all I thought was the day when I see you again, Your Highness.”

Uneasiness washed over you once you heard the man talking. Living alone in the tower, you knew very little of a life in the castle, but you knew murdering someone was wrong. 

“Why did he whip you?” You asked, furrowing your brows when the man in front of you chuckled. “You killed him for that, right?”

“I killed him because he was the most disgusting son for a bitch you’d ever met, dear princess.”

You winced at his harsh words: your old nanny had never even once sworn in your presence except the day when the new King killed your father, but, of course, the man in fancy clothes knew nothing of etiquette and good manners. 

“I’ve killed the court magician, too.” The new King continued, marching to you like one of the guards you saw once in a while, and you felt the urge to retreat to your room immediately. “I’ve killed much more people, your father and mother, too, and I don’t regret it even the slightest bit.”

You made a step back, looking at his face growing darker once he sensed your fear, and you were on the verge of running away the very next moment, thinking he was going to murder you, too.

“Are you scared now, princess? Do you know what I’ve done to get so far? Do you understand who owns the castle, your tower, even you, Your Highness?” With each question he was getting closer and closer until you showed him your back and sprinted towards the heavy doors beside you, clenching your dress and lifting it up to move faster. “Do you know what I’ll do to you, darling?”

You didn’t, and you had no desire to figure it out, finally reaching the door when the man beside you pushed your body into the wood with his, his hands on the door, preventing you from leaving.

“I’ve lied and cheated; I’ve drank the potion that broke every bone in my body and healed them back; I’ve killed your father and all those who stood in my way.” His words turned into a low, guttural growl as he pressed your body into the wood. “I’ve did everything to own this goddamn castle that made me feel so unhappy, so miserable and pathetic. I loathe this place. I loathe you. God, I loathe you so much.”

He was going to kill you. Dear Lord, you should have listened to your old nanny.

“You made my feel like I was someone. It was because of you I couldn’t stay just a kitchen boy. I wanted to have what you nobles had. I wanted to control all the ones who looked down on me.” He nuzzled into your hair, and you felt his firm touch on your shoulders. “God, I wanted to have you, but, unless I had the castle, I couldn’t get to you, princess. Do you know what I’ve done to get here? Do you have the slightest idea, darling?”

“Please, don’t.” You whispered quietly, afraid to raise your voice as you felt his angry breath on your skin.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness, for I’m too far gone.” Moving your dress up in haste, the new King put his knee in between your legs, ignoring your whimper. “Whatever you have, I’ll take.”

___________________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @lovelydarkdaydream @ninefuckingoneone @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks

[danascully77]

#10 angst and/or #10 general from the prompt list :)

#10 angst “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” and/or #10 general “You want to play pretend? Well two can play at that game.” from the prompt list :)

I picked the first one, but tried to work in the second. Hope you like it! <3 

Mulder’s been back from the dead for a few weeks now and things are tense. He’s barely spoken to Scully and tries to avoid looking at her pregnant stomach when they are forced to be in the same room. His eyes will flutter down before snapping up to hers with a sad, detached look in his eyes.

The interaction breaks her heart every time.

Sighing, Scully knocks on the door to his apartment and waits. It feels foreign, this formality. Before his disappearance and subsequent death, she would knock once and then let herself in. It didn’t matter if she was there for work or a casual hangout (or toward the end, for sex). And then after he was gone, she would key into his place to spend the night in his bed. Even though it was lonely and her heart broke for a man she thought she’d never see again, it felt natural to claim ownership of his space.

Now she feels like an intruder even after he opens the door and lets her inside.

She wants to scream, to holler at him, to slap him when he glances down at her stomach before turning away with the same broken expression. He hasn’t even asked her about her pregnancy and it makes her want to throw-up. Why isn’t he happy? Does he regret getting her pregnant? Does he wish she had left him dead?

Too many thoughts burn in her mind. She’s trying to give him space. Coming back from the dead after an abduction can’t be easy (she knows about the latter) and doesn’t want to rush him. Yet, his complete lack of questioning hurts. She longed for him for months and now to have him back as a shell of himself is hard to take.

“I brought Chinese.” Scully says, awkwardly holding up the bag of take-out.

“Thanks.” Mulder takes it from her and settles them on the couch to eat the feast she brought. Scully catches him watching her out of the corner of his eye as she slowly brings herself down to the couch, grunting silently as the weight of her stomach pinches her spine before she rests against the cushions.

“Need another pillow?” Mulder offers, sliding it behind her back before she can nod in affirmation.

The question and action stun her. It’s the closest he has come to acknowledging her pregnancy.

“Thanks.” She whispers. It’s silent then, for the next few minutes as they both pick at their food. Neither are very hungry, but chewing gives them a distraction from talking. Mulder’s tv is on in the background and they both stare at the poorly written sci-fi movie playing out on the screen.

Scully tries to subtly study him from the corner of her eye as she eats. He seems tense and rigid, his lanky limbs coiled as if to spring to action at any moment. She knows his forced vacation/firing is hard on him, making his re-animation even more painful, but there seems to be something else upsetting him. Scully wishes he would speak with her, but can’t find the words to ask him about his feelings.

They were stunted in that department before the abduction. Now it’s even worse.

As a sigh draws from his lips, his food discarded on the coffee table, she knows she’s been caught studying him. She sets her own food to the side and turns to stare at him directly. “Can we talk?”

“About?” His response is smooth, but she catches the slightly annoyed undertone.

“Us.”

“Us?”

“Yes.”

“What is there to say?” This time his tone is less subtle and Scully bites her bottom lip at the irritation in his voice.

“How are you feeling?” It’s a weak question, a cop-out. They both know it. On a normal day, Mulder might let her get away with it, but not tonight.

“Scully, you don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Check on me.” Mulder waves his hands in front of him. “Hang out like we used to.”

“Why not?” Scully’s nervous. Does he not like her anymore? Does he blame her for not saving him?

“You must have more… important things to do now.” His eyes glance purposefully down at her stomach.

“Oh.” Scully breathes, looking down at her own body. “I’m fine. My doctor said I’m still okay to be active.” Her eyes glance back up at him to find that his jaw is tight and his fists are locked at his sides.

“I didn’t mean that you should stay home.” The low, dark quality of his voice scares her slightly. Scully can tell he is pissed, but isn’t sure why. At her confused expression, Mulder sighs again. “I just meant that you must have someone else to be with now.”

Scully’s confusion turns to utter shock. He doesn’t realize I’m pregnant with his kid. The realization slams into her like a ton of bricks. It all makes sense now. Mulder would have no reason to assume this pregnancy is because of their few nights together. She was sterile. He doesn’t know that they got their miracle.

Her jaw opens and closes twice before she reaches for one of his closed fists. “Mulder, look at me.”

“Scully, I can’t do this.” Mulder shakes his head, anger leaking out of every pore. She tries to cut him off, but he stands suddenly to pace the apartment. “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?”

The heartbreak in his voice draws tears to her eyes. “Mulder.” She tries again, but she can’t get off the couch quickly because of her large stomach and fumbles as he continues to pace.

“You haven’t even mentioned his name. Am I that much of an embarrassment that you don’t want me to know who he is?”

“Mulder, you’re wrong. Let me explain.” She’s desperate now, trying to get off the couch but the old cushions are too soft and she keeps sinking back as she tries to stand.

“I get it, Scully. You thought I was dead, but it’s only been a few months. Months. Am I that easy to get over?”

“Mulder.”

“I should have stayed dead. You should have left me in the ground.”

The moment he switches to self-deprecation in the form of suicide, Scully loses her patience. “Mulder!” His name is a loud shout and it finally draws his attention. “Get me off the fucking couch.”

The annoyance and anger in her tone surprises him and he moves quickly to assist her in standing. He sees her tears forming and mistakes them for frustration. When she’s finally vertical, Mulder’s eyes drop to the floor, deflated now that the anger is gone. “If you want to go back to just being friends, I can pretend that I’m okay with it. I’ll pretend for you, Scully.”

“Mulder, I don’t want you to pretend.”

“Oh.” Mulder nods, tears prickling his own eyes. It’s the first time since being back alive that he has felt any other emotion other than anger and betrayal. “I understand. Thanks for coming to say goodbye.”

“What? No, Mulder. You’re not giving me time to explain.” Scully grabs his hands and holds firm when he tries to pull away. “Look at me.”

“Scully.” “Mulder, shut up and look at me.”

His eyes lock with hers and he stops trying to pull his hands free. His taller frame bends slightly toward her out of an unconscious impulse to be closer and they take a few seconds to breathe. The emotions in the room feel like electricity and both of their bodies have goosebumps from the adrenaline.

“Ask me.” Scully whispers.

It takes him a second to understand, slowly shaking his head back and forth. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Ask me.” Scully prompts, blue eyes shining up into his with unshed tears.

Mulder gulps and glances at her stomach before meeting her gaze once more. “Whose child…” His voice breaks for a second. “How did you meet…” Mulder sighs. “Is it someone I know?”

Scully smiles a small smirk and drags his hands to touch her stomach. He flinches and tries to withdraw, but she holds steady and tries to ignore the pain in her heart as he attempts to jerk away.

“It’s yours.” Her voice comes out shaky and an octave too high, her fear evident in the quiet of his living room.

Mulder stutters for a second, his eyes rapidly moving up and down from his hands on her stomach to her face. “What?” It’s a breathless question when he is finally able to form words.

“I found out the day you went missing.”

“How? You were sterile. I thought the in vitro fertilization failed?”

Scully shivers as she feels his hands grip her stomach, no longer trying to rip away from her. She’s pretty sure he doesn’t realize he is actively holding her now. “The in vitro did fail.” Scully confirms. “But we had sex…” The word makes her blush despite everything they’ve gone through. “… and…” She breaks off, nervous about saying the word they used to promise to one another.

Mulder’s eyes widen and a tear falls down his cheek. “You got your miracle.”

Scully holds back tears at his wording, reaching up to swipe his from his cheek. “We got our miracle.” Scully holds her breath then. This is the moment. The one that’s been a long time coming. They are either in this together or Scully is about to become a single mother.

The baby kicks before Mulder can respond and he jumps back an inch, staring in wonder at her stomach. Her shirt moves a bit as the baby presses against her, flipping in the womb. Mulder’s mouth opens in shock, looking back at her face in wonder. “Does that hurt?”

“Not really. Sometimes the baby rests on my spine, which is painful, but otherwise it just feels… different. But good different.”

Mulder nods, listening to every word. His hand, which was pulled away from her when he jumped in surprise moves slowly back toward her body. “May I?”

“Of course.” Scully confirms, lacing their fingers before pressing his palm flat on her stomach. “If you hold here sometimes you can feel a kick or two.”

A few seconds later, Scully is proven correct as if the baby in her stomach was waiting for a performance cue. A foot kicks out against her stomach lining and Mulder huffs a pleased laugh in surprise.

“Oh, Scully.” Mulder whispers in breathless awe. The baby kicks again and Mulder pulls Scully into a tight embrace. It’s a bit awkward because of her protruding stomach, but he makes up for it by folding his taller frame around her. “We’re having a baby.”

The moment Mulder takes ownership of their child, Scully’s unshed tears burn down her cheeks. A sob breaks from her lips and she clings to him, fingers digging into his back through his t-shirt. “I’ve missed you so much, Mulder. I… oh god… I thought I was going to raise our child alone.”

Mulder pulls back to cup her face, stroking her wet cheeks. “Scully.” Her whispered name conveys all the emotions they are feeling. She cries openly, watching as Mulder does the same. He opens his mouth to say more, but a kick against his abdomen draws his attention and they both laugh instead. “Our child.” Mulder whispers with a broad smile.

Scully nods and gasps quietly as Mulder drops to his knees. Her hands land in his hair, fluffy from the few weeks he has been back without a haircut, and she strokes his scalp as he slowly lifts her shirt.

“Oh.” A startled gasp breaks from her mouth as his lips land on her bare stomach. The feeling of his pouty lower lip touching her skin makes her body tingle and her fingers dig lightly into his scalp. Emotions pull in her chest and she sobs when he kisses all across her stomach.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” Mulder whispers to the baby after he is done with his kissing exploration.

The words break Scully’s barely withheld resolve and she lets out a loud sob. Bending down, Scully tugs on his hair and slams her lips to his with a wild desperation. Her tears mix with his on his cheeks as she devours his lips. The kiss is messy and sloppy and uncoordinated. Too many emotions make it frantic, but neither of them seem to care. The fact that they are kissing again overshadows finesse.

They pull back as Scully whimpers a sob against his lips. “Scully.” He breathes, standing to pull her back to his chest.

“Please, Mulder.” She whines, not entirely sure what’s she’s asking for but knowing she can’t stand to be without him for a second longer.

As if understanding, Mulder laces their hands and leads her to his bedroom. It’s clean and organized, a sign that Scully was living there during the months that he was missing, but his worn clothes litter the floor. The sight makes another sob pull from her chest and Mulder is quick to remove her shirt, discarding it among his own clothing.

Scully turns slightly, suddenly bashful about the state of her larger body, but Mulder catches her by her arms, holding her steady. “You’re still so beautiful, Scully. I’ve missed your body.”

“Mulder.” She whispers. She realizes that she hasn’t said his name this many times since his disappearance and it feels heavy and reverent on her lips.

Mulder runs his hands across her hips, catching the band of her leggings. “May I?”

“Yes.”

Slowly, her pants are peeled from her legs and she is left standing in her bra and panties. Mulder moans softly, tracing his fingertips up her thighs. They are slightly larger from the extra weight she is carrying and he smiles as they tremble under his hands.

“Gorgeous.” Mulder praises, kissing her hip right where it meets leg.

“Oh my god.” Scully moans, emotions raging wild alongside arousal.

“Is it okay if we…?” Mulder trails off with a slightly embarrassed flush.

Scully giggles and the reprieve makes her feel lighter. The emotional break good for both of them. “Yes. We can have sex while I’m pregnant.”

“I have so much research to catch up on.” Mulder smiles from his position on his knees.

The statement makes Scully’s heart lurch. He is going to research how to be a father. The thought makes her reach for him, bringing him back to his feet. “Can we skip the foreplay? I need you inside of me.” She’s slightly embarrassed at being so blunt about their first time back together, but she doesn’t care.

Mulder must not mind because he nods and kisses her once before stripping off his own shirt and pants. The sight of his bare torso makes her reach for him, stroking up his chest with flat hands.

“Please.” She breathes again.

“How do you want to do this?” Mulder responses.

Scully bites her lip. She wants to be able to see him while they reconnect, but she also knows that doggy-style would be easier with her pregnancy. “I’ll start on top.” She decides. It won’t be for long, but she needs to look at him as she takes him inside her body.

Mulder nods and quickly drops his boxers before sliding onto his bed. He watches with admiration as she slips out of her panties and sheds her bra before straddling him on the bed. It takes a few moments and Mulder’s assistance to get her there, but once she is in place they hold hands on top of her stomach for a few beats of their hearts.

“Ready?” Scully whispers.

“Ready.” Mulder nods.

Their moans join as they cry out into the bedroom, the first few inches of his shaft slipping into her sex. When he is buried inside of her, pelvis to pelvis, they pause and stare at one another. Neither can believe they are here, like this. It’s breathtaking and surreal.

Slowly, Scully begins to bounce up and down. Her movements are small, unable to lift completely with her added weight, but they don’t mind. It keeps him incredibly deep and strokes against her g-spot almost immediately. Scully gasps in surprise at the sudden intense pleasure, stunned that they still fit together so perfectly.

Mulder unlaces their hands to hold her hips, a grin spreading over his features at her slightly wider hips. “Pregnancy looks good on you.”

Scully blushes. Her breasts are larger and swollen as well and sway heavily as she rocks on his hips. Her hands cup them when the swaying starts to ache and smirks a small grin when he moans in response.

After a few more minutes, her breathing gets heavy and her thighs sink against his legs. “Mulder, I can’t…” She doesn’t have to finish her sentence. He rolls them gently over so that she’s propped against some pillows on her back. It takes them a few minutes to get things just right for her back, but it doesn’t kill the mood. Mulder slips back inside of her still just as hard as he was.

With her stomach in the way, Mulder can’t hover above her and settles for pulling her legs over his hips as he rocks into her at a ninety-degree angle to her body. Scully re-cups her breasts as they bounce on her chest and Mulder groans softly at not being able to suck on her nipples.

“Another time.” Scully gasps, catching his longing stare.

He smirks and nods, keeping his thrusts steady in and out of her. Her wetness coats his shaft and he moans at the sight of their arousals joining between their thighs.

“Scully.” Mulder moans. “I’m not going to last much longer.” He sounds apologetic, but Scully shakes her head to dismiss his embarrassment. He just came back from the dead after all. He can’t be expected to have stamina. Not when the love of his life just told him that the baby in her belly is his.

“It’s okay.” Scully promises, reaching for one of his hands again.

“Are you close?”

“No.” Scully admits with no malice in her voice. “But the pregnancy makes orgasming tough sometimes.”

“I can wait until…”

Scully cuts him off with a shake of her head. “I don’t care if I don’t orgasm tonight. I just want to feel you come in me.”

The bluntness makes Mulder groan and he squeezes her hand. “You sure?”

“Yes.” Scully nods with a smile.

They had only slept together a few times before he went missing, but she learned quickly that he was a very thoughtful lover. She never went without an orgasm, often coming multiple times in a session. Scully knows it’s not in his nature to come first, but moans as he lets himself go just this once, confident that she is telling him the truth about her desires.

His hips piston a bit harder and quicker inside of her, stroking himself along her slippery walls before tipping over the ledge of pleasure. He cries out her name, fucking her through his orgasm as he empties inside of her.

The action makes them both think about the child in her belly and after he spurts the last of his orgasm into her core he falls next to her, collecting her in his arms. Her ass meets his softening cock, their arousals smearing on her lower back, but neither mind the mess. His arms keep her close and they breath in unison for a long time.

“I’m going to be a father.”

“I’m going to be a mother.”

Mulder holds her stomach, feeling the baby wiggling around in her stomach and Scully’s hands join his on her body.

There are a lot of unknowns left to figure out. Their relationship, the x-files, if they will co-parent while living together, etc. but for right now they are back together and that’s all that matters. Scully’s in his bed with him and she isn’t alone anymore.

Turning onto her back, she kisses him deeply before settling back to be the little spoon. “Mulder?”

“Yeah, Scully?” “You do know I love you, right?”

Mulder hugs her tighter to him. “I do now. I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”

“I should have explained the pregnancy the moment you woke up.”

Mulder kisses her shoulder. “Let’s talk about this later. I just want to hold you and our baby for a while.” Scully smiles as his thumbs brush her belly back and forth. It’s quiet for a second longer. “I love you too, Scully.”

[worstloki]

What to you think anout this interview with MW?

The part that stood out to me the most was this

just talking about how Steve Jobs was adopted and how people who are adopted are out of control at the most important moment of their lives. And that movie is about how Steve Jobs is so obsessive about end-to-end control over all this technology. I drew a really interesting parallel between Loki and Steve Jobs: The desire to rule. “I know best. I want to rule. I want to be in control as an adult because I was, in fact, so out of control as a young Frost Giant baby.”

It honestly tells me so much about how MW misunderstood Loki’s corse motivations (at leats prior to TR but I’m not counting anything after). Loki didn’t want to rule? I’m not even gonna go on about this, because it’s been talked to death in fandom (amazing meta everyone), but I just cant wrap my head around how he literally missed the whole point if Loki. Did he even watch the scene in Thor1 where Loki literally breaks down during the fight with Thor on the Bifrost and shouts

“I never wanted to rule! I only ever wanted to be your equal!”

And yes, I agree that Loki craves, needs, a sense of control over his life, but not because he felt “so out of control as a Frost Giant baby.” It’s because he never had any control over his life or over how people perceived him. The reason he couldn’t have felt out of control his whole life because of his lack of control as a baby is because he didn’t know he was adopted, so he couldn’t have internalized this feeling, and the moment he DID find out he had a psychotic breakdown. But by that point he had ALREADY felt out of control his whole life. This doesn’t even make sense from a chronological standpoint, and it’s what he based Loki’s character on in the show?(Also, earlier in the interview he talked about how Odin killed Laufey and then took Loki. What?? Loki killed Laufey?? Did he even watch the movie?)

Also is it just me, or is his whole thing about people who are adopted kinda weird? Besides, even if we do admit that Loki’s need from control comes from some trauma about being adopted (which I won’t), it STILL wasn’t about that. Loki didn’t break down because he was adopted. He broke down because he was stolen like a “relic” with the purpose of being used for political gain. It wasn’t because he was adopted, but because he realized WHY he had been treated as less-than his whole life, WHY Odin treated him the way he did: because he never mattered to Odin as anything more than a tool. And he was hurt by the deception, but a big part of that was because of what the deception was about. Odin and Frigga didn’t just lie to him about being adopted, they concealed the fact that he was Jotun, and the turned around and sowed the seeds of racism in their eintire nation’s heads, Loki’s as well. Loki isn’t “burdened with glorious purpose” because he wants to be in charge, but because he needs to prove to himself that hes worth something. And that’s not because he was adopted, but because he was fed a consistent diet of self-loathing his whole life.

I am so frustrated, could this man have gotten the point any less? And then he turns around and talks about how “Beyond that, what I connect to about him is the same thing the legions of fans do, which is his humanity and his vulnerability”.

It's interesting because the show itself reflects the contradictions really well, especially through trying to condemn him as someone who inherently causes suffering and insisting Loki can change and has good in him - what with jumping between whether he cares or not, flipping from saying Loki is smart to having him clown around, etc. and it feels as if the show has no idea what's going on either.

Which on one hand is cool and fun, but on the other hand it is - as of yet - being done in a pretty basic way. Repeated lines, really obvious (often physical) humour, upturning dramatic dialogue, etc. doesn't really suit the character presented in Thor 1 or Avengers 1, and it's sad to see it replaced with something so... cringe. I do feel the character was made to cater to the show rather than the opposite way around, and though I'm enjoying watching it I'm definitely annoyed that the colonial narrative and torture and abuse were only hinted at in ways that treated them as non-issues to begin with.

The writers really should start paying attention to where that humanity and vulnerability comes from because along with somehow misunderstanding the character so much it adds to why the character feels aimless with characterization. Though I reckon that's to be attributed more to retconning to begin with, and that can be dated back to about Ragnarok.

Honestly I'm a bit concerned of what could come out of it if they did address any of his issues seriously, considering Marvel's handling of other heavy topics and MCU Loki in general.

[amorevolous-chionophile]

Mommy

❆ Fluff ❆ 5,710 words ❆ dad!Hongjoong x babysitter!reader ❆

@soft-black-teabag​ is the precious mastermind behind this idea 💜

"Yes I understand... Yes... Yes I will be there."  Hongjoong sighed as he hung up the call and mentally cursed. His boss called, saying that he has to jump in to fill a shift urgently to help, as his co-worker called in sick last minute, since he lacks work hours. He glanced to the living room to check up on the reason of his lacking work hours, his little princess and he couldn't help but smile as he saw her happily playing with her designer's kit for children which he somehow managed to afford for her birthday since she proclaimed that she wants to be just like her daddy. Since he was taking care of her alone, he had to miss shifts from time to time as there were instances where none of his friends could fill in for him. He prayed that this wasn't one of those times because his boss warned him that if he doesn't show up to work in two hours he will get fired and he couldn't lose that job. Hongjoong took on a great number of jobs through the years to have his little minion live a nice and happy life. He keeps each of his jobs for as long as the boss is tolerant enough of him being late or missing whole shifts. He hates that he gives them a hard time, but raising a child as a single parent isn't an easy job and he is trying his best, he really is. Hiring a babysitter was an option sure, but Hongjoong couldn't afford one and even if he could, there was no way that he would ever leave his precious child to a complete stranger. He sighed once more before tapping in the message to the group chat, there are seven of them, surely one of them is free, right?

Wooyoung was in the middle of a game when a notification rang, signaling that a message had arrived on his phone. That wouldn't have been a problem if he wasn't in class and the notification didn't echo through the classroom. The college professor gave him a threatening look from above the rim of his glasses to what Wooyoung smiled nervously and pretended to move his phone back to his pocket before muting it and proceeding to read the message as soon as the professor looked away like nothing happened seconds ago. You eyed him judgingly from the seat next to him.  "Wooyoung, you are going to get in trouble." Not that most professors at college care if you are on your phone, laptop, are you listening or not... But this one was a bit of a nitpicking pain that always says that you should respect the time which he is giving to you in order to gift you knowledge by at least listening. He always made it sound like he doesn't get any compensation for what he does, not like he gets paid. Wooyoung looked at you with the most offended face he could make.  "Don't talk in class you'll get us in trouble."  He put a finger to his lips and couldn't help but smile to what you rolled your eyes and smiled as well returning your attention to the professor as Wooyoung returned his gaze to his phone. He entered the group chat to find that everyone already responded. He scrolled to the first message to see what all that was about, just to find Hongjoong's panicked message about needing someone as fast as possible to look over his child. Wooyoung loved that child like he was her uncle, and not just him, all of the boys warmed up to that little ray of sunshine. As he scrolled he noticed that none of the other boys were available, for valid reasons and he mentally sighed as he had to tell Hongjoong that he wasn't either.  Wooyoung: "I have a makeup exam. I must retake it, it's half of my mark. I'm really sorry."  This time he audibly sighed. He had major respect for Hongjoong, the guy was torn on million sides, he sacrificed his college and his free time for the sake of his child. That's why he felt bad for not being able to do anything in this situation.  Seonghwa: "Hongjoong, could you please reconsider all that about the babysitter?"  Yunho: "Yes, please, if money is the problem we can help you with that."  Hongjoong: "I know, but even if I agree, how can I get any babysitter to come in less than an hour? No worries guys, I'll just find another job."  Wooyoung was too preoccupied with his phone and thoughts of how to help to notice the professor eyeing him suspiciously. You however noticed and nudged him to snap out of it or he won't even have the chance to take that makeup exam. He rapidly turned his head to you, his eyes widening and your face crunching from confusion. It was seconds before he returned his attention to his phone.  Wooyoung: "I am a genius. I have solved all of your problems 😇"  Yeosang: "This is gonna be good."  Hongjoong: "?"  Wooyoung: "Y/N!"  Hongjoong: "Who?"  San: "Oooh, nice!👍🏻👍🏻"  Yeosang: "I am disappointed I am not disappointed with that answer. That is your first good idea since...ever."  Jongho: "How come that idea never crossed our minds before."  Mingi: "That would be so adorable to see. Just think of that cuteness duo!😸🥰"  Hongjoong: "Guys, would you please concentrate and tell me who that is."  You had to nudge Wooyoung again, stronger this time because he was visibly testing the professor's patience.  "Wooyoung, leave that phone, the professor is giving you a death stare I think even the room temperature decreased."  You whispered almost inaudibly to what he turned off his screen, nudged the phone to the side of his desk and shifted his gaze up smiling innocently to the professor. You couldn't help but pinch the bridge of your nose letting out a breathy laugh at his carefree attitude.

Hongjoong: "Wooyoung, who's y/n?"  Seonghwa: "Seems like he's not here anymore."  Jongho: "What... who leaves in a moment like that."  San: "I think he and y/n have class with that ice drama queen professor."  Yeosang: "He probably used all of his energy to come up with that idea, his system must have shut down."  San: "Yeosang... Who hurt you young child?"  Yeosang: "Whoever ate my fried chicken the last time we hung out."  Mingi: "But why are you taking it out on Wooyoung when Yunho ate your chicken 😂"  Yunho: "He. Didn't. Know. That."  Mingi: "Oops, I didn't know that."  Yeosang: "Well, it's only important that now I know that."  Yunho: "🙃"  Hongjoong: " G U Y S. I'm kinda running out of time here."  Seonghwa: "You remember how we mentioned Wooyoung's neighbor that hung out with us probably every single time when you weren't there?"  Hongjoong: "Oh yeah, I forgot her name, so y/n... I'm not so sure, how well do you guys know her?"  Mingi: "Wooyoung knows her best since she was his neighbor and classmate from the very start of college."  Jongho: "But since he's not here, your second best options are San, Yeosang and me. Well Yeosang and me."  San: "Hey 🥺"  Yeosang: "Yes, since we attend the same college we meet quite frequently so I assure you that she is a good choice."  San: "Are you all ignoring me now 🥺"  Jongho: " I strongly agree with Yeosang, not once did she leave a bad impression."  San: "..."  Hongjoong: "Well not like I have a choice at this point anyway."  Seonghwa: "Since I sense that you are still unsure, I remember this one time when she got a call from her sister and had to leave to look after her nephews."  Yunho: "So that means she knows with children. I mean you got a winning combo here." Hongjoong: "But I don't know, what if the two of them don't get along, what if something happens"  Jongho: "I just wanna remind you that this was Wooyoung's idea to which even Yeosang agreed"  Mingi: "I think that this is the first time something like this happened 😅"  Seonghwa: "Come on Hongjoong, you know we love your child almost as much as you do. We would never propose something that would be potentially dangerous for her."  Hongjoong: "Alright... Fine"

Finally, for what seemed ten times longer than the original ten minutes it should have lasted, the bell rang, signaling the end of the class. You stretched your arms, still sitting down, while Wooyoung rapidly swiped trough his phone to catch up on the conversation that he missed, hoping to run into Hongjoong's agreement. You eyed him suspiciously when he jolted up with an excited "yes". You mirrored his actions and got up as well, gathering your stuff.  "What happened, the makeup exam got postponed?"  He let out a sad whining sound before gathering his stuff as well.  "As if, not even in my dreams."  He swung his backpack on his back and typed something in his phone excitedly.  "Then what is..."  Before you could finish, he grabbed your wrist and started speed walking towards the door and into the hallway, opposite of the direction of where his exam is supposed to be.  "Wait Wooyoung, what is going on?"  But you were not graced by any kind of answer in return. When you exited the building, you were even more puzzled to see Yeosang, San and Jongho there. Before you could ask again, Wooyoung went into medical commercial narrator mode.  "So you remember how we mentioned our friend that has a rainbow sunshine pink sparkly precious child after who he looks after alone and that sometimes we fill in because he has to work and all. Well today we are all busy and if he doesn't go to work he will get fired and he really needs that job and he can't leave the child alone and so we thought that maybe, probably, eventually you could look after her because we don't have much time since he needs to go to work soon and pretty much we don't have any other option...please?"  You blinked trying to process everything you just heard as Wooyoung grabbed your hand and shook it giving you the puppy dog eyes look. You closed your eyes trying to form a coherent question in return to all that.  "Wha..."  But San interrupted you, joining Wooyoung in the hand shaking puppy dog eyes squad. "Pleeease, the child is a sweetheart I swear. I promise you two will get along perfectly, and the cuteness oh God, you two will be the cutest duo ever."  You shook your head, really trying to keep up with the both of them, looking around to find a spot to focus on in order to actually have a chance to think about the proposal, when you noticed Yeosang and Jongho standing on a greater distance from you than when they originally were, talking among themselves, pretending not to know you three. You couldn't blame them. "Wait you two, wait a second. I mean I am free now and I would love to help, but I am not sure about all this? To him I am a stranger and from what I have picked up from your stories he wouldn't leave his child with just anyone so I don't think he will agree to this. Also a child... I'm not sure, it's not the same as looking after my nephews."  Wooyoung let go of your hand in order to swipe through his phone for a brief second before showing you a message of Hongjoong's agreement, more like shoving it in your face.  "He already agreed, it's only left for you to agree so please."  You almost winced from the frequency Wooyoung's voice managed to hit. You were kinda at a dead end in that moment. You had no reasons to refuse, not like you even wanted to refuse an opportunity to help someone in a tight situation so the answer was pretty obvious.  "Okay, just tell me the address and..."  Your proclamation was interrupted with Wooyoung and San squealing and, for the sake of their souls, let's say that those were manly squeals. They ran up to Yeosang and Jongho and excitedly announced that you have agreed before Wooyoung proceeded to run back to the college entrance in his style, shouting.  "I'm late for the makeup exam, I will text you the address before I..."  Was all you managed to hear before his voice became inaudible.  "Wooyoung, I swear to God."  You whispered in your chin before joining the remaining trio in order to say goodbye.

Hongjoong was running around his apartment, grabbing his necessities before a tiny voice called out to him.  "Daddy?"  The young girl was standing underneath the notably larger doorframe, questioningly tilting her head to the side.  "You said you would stay home today."  Her face welcomed a small pout. Hongjoong quickly squatted to her eye level, one hand on her shoulder, while the other caressed the crown of her head.  "I know princess, but they called daddy to come today. I promise I will make it up to you."  He smiled, hoping to reassure her.  "I just miss you."  She proclaimed sadly before wrapping her small arms around his neck. Saying that his heart shattered into million pieces would be an understatement. He sighed heavily and wrapped his hands around her, lifting her up.  "I'm sorry it has to be this way."  He said that more to himself before the melody of the doorbell filled the house. The girl looked in her dad's eyes with newfound interest.  "Which uncle is coming today?"  Hongjoong smiled nervously, not sure how to deliver the news and more importantly not knowing what the reaction will be.  "About that..."  He hesitated as he went towards the door with her still in his arms.  "It's uncle Wooyoung's friend."  He confessed, opening the door, not sure himself what to expect. What greeted him there was a warm, smiling figure, immediately putting him at ease.  "Hello, I'm Wooyoung's classmate, y/n. It's nice to meet you Hongjoong."  You gave a little wave before grinning to the little girl.  "And this must be the princess I have heard so much about."  The girl smiled in return, resting her head on her dad's shoulder, still a bit shy.  "Hello."  Hongjoong motioned you to enter before he closed the door behind you, a faint scent of his shampoo hitting you.  "I should hurry now, thank you for coming on such short notice."  You were in the process of taking off your shoes while you replied.  "Don't worry, it's a pleasure to help."  You rose back up stretching out your arms for Hongjoong to give the girl to you.  "Oh there's no reason for that, she may be too heavy for you, besides she is daddy's big girl, she can walk."  Hongjoong went to put her down, but to his surprise he ran into the girl's resentment, as she stretched her arms out to you in return. You smiled warmly and took the child in your arms, patting her back.  "It's not a problem really."  You reassured Hongjoong as you turned to the girl.  "This way we can assist daddy together while he is getting ready for work, right?"  The girl chimed happily in response. Hongjoong didn't notice or he didn't want to notice how his brain blocked all of his actions for a brief second wanting to absorb that moment and so he continued with tying his shoelaces a moment after as if nothing happened. Hongjoong was about to exit when you noticed a phone on the cupboard next to you, so you quickly stop him. "Hongjoong, I think you forgot your phone."  He checked in all his pockets to check before he accepted the phone from you grasp and thanked you with a warm smile.  "Daddy will be back before you know it princess, be nice to y/n."  He bent down to plant a kiss on the girl's cheek, before her little hands grabbed his face and turned his head in order to do the same. The scene had you internally melting from all the cuteness. Hongjoong went out the door, and you trailed him standing on the doorframe.  "Wave to daddy."  You told the girl who shook her hand smiling from ear to ear, you copying her. There was it again, that moment that Hongjoong felt shoot through his heart and brain.

You caressed the girl's cheek before putting a blanket atop of her, snuggling her to sleep. You put the fairytale book you were reading her a bedtime story from on the shelf. You decided to leave the lamp on, just a bit more dimmed as you were not sure whether or not she was afraid of the dark. She fell asleep pretty quickly, and it was no wonder, for the whole day you were doing all kind of things together, playing pretend, fashion designer, telling stories, watching cartoons, eating. You tried to engage her in everything you could, you really gave it your all, and it was easy because she was indeed a pure angel child. You sat in the living room, lowering the volume of the tv in order to hear if she wakes up. You had time to peacefully look around the apartment which was an interesting fusion of an art and music studio, laced with the essence of a family home. You also noticed that the home was sparkly clean. You didn't know that that was Seonghwa's doing however. He was the last to babysit, just the day before you. He and the girl were playing fashion designer when Seonghwa made the grave mistake of commenting how she put too much glitter on a particular piece of clothing. Second after that he had a child proclaiming that he shouldn't question her fashion sense and glitter pretty much... everywhere. So after putting her to sleep he engaged himself in cleaning all the glitter, and cleaning glitter is not an easy job, not to mention that he himself resembled a disco ball with all the glitter he had in his hair. He somehow ended cleaning even the rest and who knows when he would have stopped if Hongjoong haven't arrived home. You basically absent mindedly gazed into the cartoon on the tv which was muted when your phone buzzed and brought you back to your senses. It was a message from an unknown number, but from the content of the message you figured it was Hongjoong.  Hongjoong: I will be back about 10 minutes.  You saved his contact before replying.  You: Thanks for giving me a notice, I will wait for you. I put her to sleep, so you have nothing to worry about.  And just like that you spent those 10 minutes watching a cartoon on mute before you heard a clatter of keys trying to unlock the door, but being unable to due the keys from the inside of the door.  "I'm coming."  You whisper-yelled, afraid not to wake the girl as you hurried to the door. You turned the keys and opened the door, smiling.  "Welcome home."  It was probably due to not having a chance to hear that often, but his heart slightly fluttered at your welcome and he couldn't help but smile a little.  "As I already mentioned, she is sound asleep..."  You trailed off as you went to pick up your belongings from the living room, not wanting to yell and as soon as you returned you started putting on your shoes.  "She is a wonderful child, you raised her very well."  You gave him a wide smile as you started putting on your coat.  "We made dinner together and left you some in the refrigerator so you can heat it up if you want. You must be tired so I will be going now."  As you took ahold of the knob, he took ahold of your forearm. You turned around, giving him a puzzled look as to which he just took out his wallet.  "No Hongjoong please, I did not do this for money. Besides, that child already repaid me with her smile, I really had a nice time today."  You shook your hands before your face in defense.  "There's no way I can let you leave without anything, you lost your whole day."  He took out his money and was handing it to you, but you were not an easy nut to crack.  "Can we make a deal then? If I happen to look after her again, I will accept, okay?"  He sighed in defeat, dropping the argument as it was leading nowhere. But that idea of you babysitting again, deep down he liked it.  "Alright, alright."  You exited the door waving at him.  "Why don't you at least let me call you a cab? It's pretty dark outside for you to be walking alone."  Shaking your head you turned to him.  "Don't worry about me, go back to that precious little child."  He nodded, closing the door.  "Hongjoong..."  He halted and looked at you expectantly.  "See you."  And like that, you parted.

Little did you know that she would want you to come look after her again and again and again. Hongjoong of course, refused her at first, not wanting to trouble you, but soon he just gave up. And you didn't mind really, that child grew onto you like on anyone she meets. This time you were just going to visit her for no particular reason, you just had free time. You knocked on the door you grew used to and the man you started to develop faint feelings for opened.  "Oh hi, come on in."  He gave you his usual smile and you obliged. Just after barely taking one shoe off you heard your name being shouted from across the hall by a little human who was running to tackle hug you.  "How's my favourite princess doing?"  She smiled from ear to ear, as she always did.  "Good! Daddy and I were just talking about you!"  You rose a brow as you shot a glance at Hongjoong who was smiling nervously.  "Daddy asked me if I would want you..."  She was unable to finish her sentence because Hongjoong interupted, cutting her mid sentence. "You know, we were just planning on going grocery shopping, so you don't have to take off your shoes if you wanna come with us."  You returned your attention to the child, whispering into her ear.  "You'll tell me later."  You smooched her cheek before raising back up nodding at Hongjoong.  "Let's go."

"Hongjoong, you forgot to get the tomatoes... How do you expect that we make the bolognese sauce without tomatoes?"  You waved in front of his face with a wooden spoon threateningly.  "Sorry, I was hindered by a certain small being that strongly wanted a package of gummy bears."  You just chuckled at his troubled expression.  "We can just improvise something then, I guess. At least she got what she wanted."  You nodded in the direction where the previously mentioned small being was eating her gummy bears, her attention on the cartoon playing on the tv.  "I have a weakness for her, what was I supposed to do."  Hongjoong gave you a troubled smile as he was growing scared of that wooden spoon in your grip. You couldn't resist the urge to ruffle his hair.  "Go rest, you were working for the whole day yesterday. Your eye bags are so big, they could be used as bowls."  He shook his head.  "I can't leave everything to you..."  You squinted your eyes and raised the wooden spoon back in his sight.  "We will all rest when we eat, how does that sound?"  You rolled your eyes at him jokingly.  "You were always a tough negotiator, have it your way."  Smiling to your agreement he let out a breathy laugh, not really sure how to react to the given situation. You were gifting him precious moments he could only dream of before. Like having someone to welcome him, see him off, look after him and his baby, make a meal for him, and all that just made him wish that he could do the same for you.

"Hongjoong, I am actually amazed at your cooking skills." You confessed as you plopped yourself on the couch, the little minion automatically manifesting on your side hugging you. Hongjoong went to sit on the other side of the couch before he was stopped by his little girl. "Daddy, I want you to sit here."  She patted the free spot next to her, and Hongjoong just obliged, placing himself next to you two.  "Now I want you two to hug me."  She giggled as if she knew exactly what she was doing. As you put your arms around the little minion and connected them on the small of Hongjoong's back, he did the same. Your head rested on his shoulder, inhaling the same scent from the first day when you met him, his head rested on your shoulder looking longingly at the one person he wished for from the first day he met you, and in-between you two, a brightly smiling child who loved both of you was seated.

And so again, you went to them, they came to you. When Hongjoong was working, you were babysitting and when he was free the three of you just casually spent time together. This one time, when Hongjoong returned from work you were still in the process of putting the minion to sleep. Hongjoong inspected you closely as you ran after the child while taking off his coat and boots and he couldn't help but smile. You halted for a minute to welcome him, while the minion was long gone from sight. As you turned back to go after her you could hear her voice from the room.  "Mommy hurry, I want you to read me a story before I fall asleep."  You froze to the spot and looked to Hongjoong wide eyed as he did the exact same thing. Your face welcomed a shade of pink as you turned around and marched forward, not being able to face him.  "C-coming princess."

"Hey Hongjoong."  You peeked inside the living room, finally mustering up the courage to face him after what happened earlier, but to your luck, or misfortune, he was asleep. You would have let him be and went home as it was that he even gave you the key to his apartment, but you couldn't leave him in such a uncomfortable position. He must have fell asleep while waiting for you. You shook him lightly by the shoulder, afraid not to startle him. Your heart fluttered the same time his tired eyes fluttered open.  "I just didn't want to leave you in an uncomfortable position, I will be leaving now. Get some rest."  You blabbered and were ready to leave.  "Could you stay... a bit longer?"  Originally, it would not have been a problem, but this time around your nerves were getting the better of you. However, not having a proper reason to refuse, you sat on the couch next to Hongjoong, sighing.  "May I?"  He was asking you to lay on your legs. Again, it wasn't the first time, but never before did he ask nor did you feel nervous while his soft features were beneath your reach. However, on instinct your fingers started playing with his hair and he momentarily relaxed. Feeling restless you just had the urge to start a talk about something, anything.  "Hongjoong, you never told me what happened to your...uhm...her real m..."  You found it quite difficult to word the sentence, luckily Hongjoong caught on and saved you the struggle.  "We had my princess when we were nineteen..."

Hongjoong and his girlfriend at the time didn't even plan marriage, a baby? Even less. But she found out she was pregnant and after a lot of negotiations and talking, they decided to keep the baby and promised that they would handle every obstacle on their way. Neither of them ever dreamed that their first and biggest obstacle were their own parents. Both sides gave them the cold shoulder, but not all hope was lost. They believed that when the baby is born, their parents would change their mind. It was a brutal strike to both of them when, even with the birth of their baby girl, nothing changed. They weren't making much and they could barely take care of even themselves. That is when the girl wavered. She was scared for her future and she insisted that they give the baby for adoption. Hongjoong however, didn't want to hear about it. He didn't want to give his precious treasure to some random stranger. He also couldn't care less about his parents rejecting him. They always treated him as if he was a nuisance, so what was the difference now. His girlfriend, however, left and he never blamed her for that. She lied to her parents that she put her child up for adoption, she split up with Hongjoong and broke off every contact with him and the baby out of fear that her parents would kick her out again. Through all that time the only person Hongjoong kept contact with was his brother. Even against Hongjoong's will his brother keeps sending him money from time to time. Hongjoong on the other hand sends him back videos and pictures of the little minion doing whatnot. This is the exact reason why Hongjoong is making sure to make her real uncle a part of her life as much as possible. The number of times the uncle burst into tears after hearing a little voice through the phone calling him to come and meet her is a large one. There was nothing he could do about that as he lived on the other side of Korea. The only thing his brother didn't tell Hongjoong is that their parents greatly regret their choices and want to see their grandchild. But Hongjoong will find out himself when and if they decide to let go of their stupid idea of pride.

"...and that's how the two of us ended up like this."  It was not until your tear fell on his face that he noticed that you were crying.  "Hey, don't cry for that."  He raised his hand in order to wipe away the watery paths that your tears left on your face.  "She now finally has a mum as she said. I can't thank you enough for playing that role for her, no let me take that back, you are not playing that role. After all this time of looking after her you can call yourself her mum."  His comment only turned on the faucet that let more tears fall.  "Thank you for saying so Hongjoong."  He rose from your legs and turned to face you.  "I didn't plan to do it like this but here it goes."  He cupped your chin and leaned into you, his only support being his other hand. Your heart went on a rampage, throwing itself randomly against your rib cage causing irregularities in your breath. Hongjoong softly smiled when he noticed your reaction, feeling reassured to carry on with his confession.  "I started attaching myself to you from the first time you stood on that door. At first I wasn't sure if that was because..."  You cut him off by placing your lips onto his in a sweet kiss unsure if your heart would be able to last through his whole speech. You pulled away shyly forcing yourself to look him in the eye. Now it was official, until now you were practically just a couple without that official stamp. It felt nice, it felt like home.  "You will tell me later, I wasn't sure if I was able to survive through it all."  You grinned and he shook his head, smiling as well before he leaned in again.

"Okay is everyone ready?"  You asked eagerly after hearing Hongjoong approach the door.  "I don't understand why we have to wear this."  Yeosang retorted, not amused in the slightest before Yunho appeared from behind him and pulled him into the room to hide like he was pulling him in a back alley to kidnap him, what made the situation more amusing was Yeosang's uninterested face.  "Come on Yeosang we don't have much time for questions."  Yunho whispered in his ear as they both disappeared into the darkness of the room. You sighed in relief as everyone was finally on their position just as you heard the keys and the door knob. And then there on the door appeared Hongjoong.  "Welcome home, come on sweetie."  You welcomed Hongjoong and guided his, no, both of your child to him.  "Daddy, mommy bought me a minion onesie, look!"  She ran up to Hongjoong and extended her arms up to him.  "It's beautiful love! What does it say here... I'm gonna be a sister..."  Hongjoong's eyes widened as his heart skipped a few beats and he would have jumped to hug you right then and there if he wasn't startled by seven men who ran at him at the same time, wearing a "I'm going to be an uncle (again)" shirts, pink shirts. Hongjoong's eyes widened again before he passed the child to Seonghwa to come and finally hug you.  "So another girl huh?"  You smiled widely back to him, nodding and he returned an even wider smile.  "What week are you?"  He caressed your still unnoticeable bump.  "The doctor said 15th, the stomach is going to start to show from here on."  He hugged you careful not to squish you too much.  "I love you, thank you for giving me everything and making me a happy man."  He pressed his forehead to yours.  "I should be the one thanking you, Joong."  Your lips met again just like they did yesterday and just like they will tomorrow.  "I want to hug with mommy and daddy too!"  And just like that your little intimate moment became a group hug of all the people you considered family.

[aikrus]

What It Means To Be Dead (Tokoyami x Reader)

Fandom: Bnha Warnings: Mentions of Dying, depression, bullying, abuse, and strong language Words: 2k259 Requested By: Anon <3 Request:  Hi I love your writing! Can I request one where Tokoyami )or anyone you'd like really,) finds a collection of old-ish diaries and letters while cleaning? The person's handwriting is very distinct and pretty (Think 1700's love letter find) but they never mention their name. As they read more of it they find newer entries where Aizawa is mentioned so they ask him about it only to find out the person who wrote them died almost 100 years ago and 'haunts' the school. (Sorry for long request) A/N: I deviated a little from the request, but I hope you like it!

            The night had already came and claimed the land of UA for itself. Shadows overtook the courtyards, and darkness fell across the classrooms, but not everyone had retreated to the safety of their comforters which shielded them from the secrets which the black abyss held so dear. 

After a draining day of learning and training, Tokoyami wanted nothing more than to go to sleep- sadly, it was his turn to clean the classroom. It was annoying and boring and he’d give anything to be able to go to sleep, but fair is fair and he wasn’t the tyrannical type.

And so, he washed the windows and wiped down the desks. He swept the floors and organized the textbooks, and he turned to put the broom back into the small closet in the corner of the classroom. With a heavy sigh, Fumikage realized he should probably tidy up the dirty, dust-filled, death trap that was called a broom closet. 

Narrowing his eyes at the cobwebs, he started to knock them down with the end of the broomstick (Seriously praying to whatever god there is that no spider fell onto his feathers). The room was in worse condition on closer inspection, it looked like not a soul had thought to clean it since the school was built. 

After taking the time to sweep the floors, wipe down the door and the counters, and organize the books, Tokoyami was beyond tired and ready to fall asleep in the still-somehow-dirty closet. No matter how many times he swung at the cobwebs, how many times he picked up the coats and books and papers on the floor, despite the effort he put into tidying up the smallish space, it still seemed to have a weird layer of age coating itself entirely.

The closet felt preserved in time, like the oldness it felt was not just in the items littered about, but in the very walls itself. The things it’s seen, the memories it held, something about the space simply felt... wrong. 

He turned to a corner he hadn’t worked on, inwardly groaning at the amount of work he still had to do despite the time of night. With a huff, he began to organize the textbooks and pages of work sprawled around the space. 

His hands fell upon and old leather book- very different in both appearance and age when compared to the marble notebooks that surrounded it. Leaning over, he saw ten to fifteen more of there journal like collections shoved deep into the corner of the room. 

Tentatively, he peeled open the first book. Looking at the pages, it looked to be the diary of a girl- the beautiful handwriting looked like it belonged to someone who saw the beauty that exists within the written language, someone who stops to smell the flowers, a person who looks at sunsets and bakes goods to say they love you. 

The ink that bled onto the early pages spoke of a student, a girl who wanted to be so much more, someone who wanted to save the world. He became enthralled by the speech patterns, the phrases and swirls of the letters drew him closer, enchanting his eyes to never leave the pages.

------ 

Soon the pages became all he could think about, even after he had to abandon the closet to race to bed. During class all he could think of was the feeling of the crisp paper under his touch. The voices of his friends seemed ugly, seemed to be missing the douse of honesty and beauty he had been exposed to, even when he was practicing all he could focus on was the experiences of the girl who wrote down all her inner thoughts. 

It was like she haunted him, appearing everywhere he went. Like she poisoned him, infecting his thoughts and feelings. She became everything to him so soon, every word had him on edge, every sentence a beautiful stream of imagery that he would give nothing but to experiencing along side her, what he wouldn’t give to see the world through her eyes of love.

As the day ended, he had quiet easily convinced Sero that he should take over his night of cleaning. Sure the actual work was quiet annoying, but he would be rewarded with her sweet words, he had left the book in the corner in his rush to get back to his dorm; he regretted his oversight the moment he laid down.

“Tokoyami, wasn’t your cleaning duty last night?” Aizawa asked, his eyes lazy looking up from the papers he was grading to make contact with Fumikage’s red ones. 

“Yes sir, it was. I volunteered to take over tonight as well,” 

“Mhm, and is there a reason for this?” He raised his eyebrow, dragging his briefcase off the table with him. 

“Cleaning helps me think,” this wasn’t a total lie, reading the journal will calm his raging thoughts of the mystery girl. 

“Just don’t make a habit of it,” his teacher echoed, not having enough energy to further investigate a seemingly innocent interaction.

Tokoyami was much faster with cleaning that day, and he was even faster to sprint inside the broom closet. He grabbed the leather books and raced back to his room, already feeling the warmth her voice provided. 

------------------------------

The passages started off innocent enough, complaints about school, fantasizing about a better life, just a teen writing down their emotions. It then morphed into the beauty in everything, words that didn’t release Fumikage’s eyes until they were tearing up from dryness. 

Then, things took a darker turn. Dark thoughts disguised in poems, things others have said to her, representation of her pain in drawings scattered throughout the book. The beautiful world- though still majestic in its own way- turned dark and twisted.

It was painful to read, and yet he couldn’t look away. It was like the book became a part of him- no. It was like he became a part of the book, nothing more than the cracked parchment and spilled ink. It was dehumanizing, but he wouldn’t change his position for anything in the world.

His bed was taken over by the old pages, dating back over two hundred years ago. The writer was in the post-quirk awakening. The world had just discovered the glowing child right before she was born. She was one of the first quirk holders in the world- one of the first one hundred Japanese citizens to have a quirk.

The journals started when she was ten- though that book was the fifth one he read. After that discovery, he categorized them in chronological order to read along with the flow of time. She wrote of the manifestation of her quirk- her parents had been struck with terror when their daughter walked through the wall of their living room to get into her bedroom. 

That was the first moment she realized how different she is. Her life never seemed to go back to the way it was before, not even after the initial shock of what she could do faded from her parents; because, there would always be a new shock, a new ability, and no one was prepared to help her.

He realized, reading more about how the quirkless treated her, that her life would have been much different is she had lived in his time. Hearing the slurs and bullying they  put her through, he wishes she could see how much the world has changed- would she be happy or sad that her bully's became the minority and were mocked in their normal-ness or if she would be ashamed of the people like her.

He was very satisfied that the people who made her life so awful were getting a taste of their own medicine, but he did wonder if that made him a bad person. Tokoyami figures that it really didn’t matter, she was gone so her opinion would never be known. 

--------------------

“Death didn’t feel like I thought it would. Surprisingly, it was reminiscent of when I use my quirk to posses things or people. My body was there, on the floor, but I was floating above it. Much like I am when I leave my body before finding my target. The cold was instantly recognizable- like an abyss with no end.

The only difference I’ve noticed so far is the lack of body to return to, though I can enter it, it acts as an object. While I cannot move it, I can see out of it. It’s therapeutic in a way. Really, this must have been the best case scenario- I could see how everyone reacts, see who really cares about me.

It was hard at first, seeing all theses people, who I believed were simply pretending to care, braking down behind closed doors. It was only my sister- whom held no quirk- that cared. She did everything she could to make my funeral how I wanted it, and she preserved my bedroom the way I liked it. That was a nice gesture, it truly was. 

Now my life has come to an end- my body buried under ground, never to be seen again- I can’t help but wonder what comes next. How long will I be held in this mortal world? Will others be like me, or will I be forced to live alone in the agonizing realization that comes with immortality? I guess I’ll simply have to wait and see,”

-----------------------

He had fallen asleep after reading the last passage in the ninth book- where she described how she stayed a student at UA even after death. The names she referenced had been lost in time- Pro-heroes that have long been dead and are now another name on the Hero Memorial wall. 

She had possessed her home room teacher and walked to the headmaster- there she said what had happened. Her headmaster agreed to keep her on as a student, but only under the condition that she wouldn’t unnecessarily possess an unknowing student. It was fair- annoying but fair. They gave her her old desk and she worked along side everyone. When he woke up, the book had moved on its own. 

There was a page opened- an elegant scipt sprawllled at the top but had been smuged since it was written- the only elligable part following what could be assumed to be a name: Phatom-- The Ghost Hero. The script was familiar, but it wasn’t the handwriting the rest of the journal was written in. Beneath it was a drawing of a girl- a girl more beautiful than anyone Fumikage had ever seen. It was a realistic depiction and it looked modern- it was only with that realization which led Tokoyomi to realize this journal wasn’t one he had seen before. Flipping through it, he hadn’t even noticed its sudden appearance. It was the newest one of them all- spanning for the last decade.  He leaned back in his bed and began,

So I guess it’s been a while huh? Here are some general updates: Shouta from class 2-A is an idiot but I guess he’s kinda cute. We picked out hero names today, I wanted to just keep my name but he dubbed me Phantom.. I called him Eraserhead in return. I hope it sticks. 

I’ve graduated from UA more than six times now- but I kinda like it. I do some professional hero work- especially info recall- but I’m worried about how the public will react to a ghost. It would definitely fuck with some peoples religious views. 

It’s better this way. I’ve also decided to distance myself from Shinso- she and I got along great, but her twin brother has been acting weirdly around me for a while. His quirk is amazing, but I’ve seen plenty of unstable students pass through these halls and I know enough to keep my distance. Shouta doesn’t seem to agree- neither does Hizashi. I guess only time will tell.

As for manifesting my physical form- it’s a lot harder than I had hoped. I can become visual for three active minutes or ten minutes with no moving. I’m still not touchable, but I hope that will change with time. That’s all for now- I’ll try to check in soon.

He shook his head- surely those names must be common, but she was in UA and only so many coincidences can happen at one time. He wonders how she was now. Mostly, he wonders if she’s still at UA. They hadn’t announced her as a student, so was she a pro hero now? 

Was it weird to still be in the body of a sixteen year old? There were so many issues with immortality- he wondered how she coped with it. These questions abused him throughout the morning. He thought of how lonely she must be, how it must be so awful to be all by herself.

He wondered why he cared so much- why had he developed such a strong scene of attachement to this girl? The fuzzy feeling in his chest when he saw the drawing of the girl had taken up his entire mind- he needed to know more.

As soon as he entered his familiar class room he marched straight up to his teachers desk with passion in his eyes- “Professor, can we talk after class? I have some questions I’d like to ask you,”

Aizawa glarred at the corner of the room, an annoyed frown tugging at his lips. This was gonna be a long day.

-------------------

A/N 

Sorry for dropping off the planet everyone! This has been in the drafts for a  long time and finally gets to see the light of day. I’ve had some mental health issues (not related to this story don’t worry) and am working on myself. I fully intend to finish the Christmas countdown I committed to and this account is still active, but this will remain on the back burner until I am well on my way to recovery. Requests will remain open for the time being and I will continue to make progress. Thank you for the lovely anon’s in my inbox with constant support and requests, I appreciate all of you. Thank you all and I hope you enjoyed this work <3