#yes i am spiraling hard to the sea of side characters now

[spotforme]

I truly hate Steggles with all my heart but i have to admit that that is one fancy suit

and with a red waistcoat at that

[lewdanimevsirl]

Do you know whale have 1500 litres?

WARNING: This story is a work of fiction and contains many mature elements. Please do not continue if you are unable to handle such content.

NOTE: The characters in this story are based on their depiction in Fate Grand Order which is developed by Delightworks and based on Type-Moon's Fate franchise. I am neither a marine biologist nor a lore expert, thus some terms and information used may be inaccurate, but I have provided references (you hardly see those in these type of content) at the end. Sorry for any weird English or grammatical mistakes.

Summer

Jeanne d' Arc, Maid of Orléans, Holy Maiden of Salvation, Ruler. And now lying on the shoreline in front of me, covered in white gooey substance and her swimsuit all torn and tattered. Her black bikini was hanging off her body while her blue hoodie was covered in white sticky substances. How did this even happen?

It was summer, and like most servants, Jeanne had a summer-swimsuit form. The holy maiden of the tropics, the star of the dolphin world. I always wonder why she became an archer that shoots dolphins. But after this incident, I realised the truth behind it….

A few months ago,

Ever since I summoned Jeanne into Chaldea, we had a healthy Master-Servant relationship. We fought enemies together, we shared our worries together, we shared our joy together.

One day resting with Jeanne after a hard day of farming,

"I can't wait for summer to come. Can't wait to just sit back and enjoy myself." I entered my room and slammed my face onto the bed. "We really deserve the break from all the farming and fighting that we do. Not to mention we can finally bring out those swimsuits." "Yes, it's good to take a break." Jeanne followed behind me and took a seat at the table.

"Jeanne! Anything you looking forward to in the summer?"

"Summer? Hmmmm…. Heading to the beach. Can't wait to meet Reece. I missed him," Jeanne smiled while answering the question.

"Reece?! Oh ya, your dolphin… You never did tell me how you met Reece" I sat back up, hoping that Jeanne would share some stories about her dolphin with me.

"Ahh… uhm… It's a long story, we can leave it for another day." Jeanne quickly brushed off the question.

"Fineeee… But mind introducing me to Reece? I would love to chill with a dolphin!"

"Uhm… sure, Master, if you don't mind…"

I did not notice it then, but Jeanne was embarrassed and was hesitating with her words. I thought it was because she was tired, so I did not ask her any further questions. But it was during summer, that I finally found out the truth behind her words.

Summer

Finally, it is summer. I can sit back and enjoy myself. No more farming. No more grinding. I get to enjoy myself on the beach and enjoy the cold sea breeze. Well, that is what I thought I would be doing. But instead, I am stuck in a crammed room, helping the Dragon Witch, Jeanne Alter AKA Jalter (Jeanne's tsundere alter) with her work.

"May I come in?" a knock from the door interrupted our discussion over the work.

"Stop interrupting us! State your purpose and leave," Jalter shouted intensely, "Some of us have work to do!" "I am sorry, I just want to ask if Master is free now" the door swinged open and Jeanne sheepishly entered the room.

"Master, how do I look?" Jeanne strolled happily into the room, dressed in a black bikini wrapped around with a blue hoodie. "You asked about my swimsuit the other day."

"You look stunning…." I replied immediately only to be met by a stack of paper slapped onto my face. "Stop staring her and start doing work, you pathetic Master!" "Sorry you tsundere Witch, I am just complimenting your sister! Don't tell me you are jealo…" another stack of paper hit my face before I could finish my sentence.

"Sorry Jeanne, I am unable to join you and meet Reece now. I need to help this annoyance with her work…." I apologised to Jeanne. "You better be!" Jalter quipped in. "Don't wait for me, you should enjoy the summer. I will find you after I am done."

Jeanne looked at the piles of papers stacked across the room. "It's fine Master, work is important. I will just head off first. Will not interrupt you guys any further" Jeanne took a bow and start making her way out. "So sorry about…." "Quit yapping! We need to get this done by today." Jalter interrupted me as I sadly watched Jeanne exit the room, leaving the both of us struggling with work.

At the Beach

"Jeanne, you look loving today!" "Jeanne, join us!" "Jeanne, pity Master could not join us!"

While I was stuck in a crammed little room helping Jalter with her doujins, the rest of the Servants were enjoying themselves at the beach. Some of them lying along the shore suntanning, some of them swimming and surfing, and there was even a sandcastle competition.

"Jeanne, are you not joining us?" "Sorry, not today. I have something I need to do." Jeanne politely declined the other Servants. Instead of partaking in the activities with the rest of the Servants on the main beach, Jeanne made her way onto the far side of the beach.

"Now that Master is busy, I should take the time to indulge myself" Jeanne thought to herself as she walked towards the far corner of the beach.

Far side of the beach

"Reece!" Jeanne ran towards the shoreline and shouted for her beloved dolphin.

Squeaking and splashing noises could be heard as a dolphin could be seen swimming towards the shoreline.

"I miss you so much!" Jeanne run towards Reece and hug the dolphin tightly. Reece rubbed against Jeanne and squeaked in delight. "I know you are excited, but not here Reece. You know the drill, let us go further out." Reece squeaked and started swimming towards a rock formation at the corner of the shore.

"Smart boy, you know what I wanted" As Reece swam back from the rocks, he brought back a raft. The raft appeared stable and looked as though it has been used multiple times. Jeanne boarded the raft and petted Reece on the snout. "I know you are excited, I am too, let's go so that I can give you your reward." Reece squeaked and started pulling the raft towards the middle of the ocean.

"I wonder how Scrooge has been doing. It has been a long time."

Although research on the anatomy of aquatic mammals and how they reproduce is still ongoing, current research has found that the reproductive organs of aquatic mammals such as dolphins (Howard, 2009) and whales (Whales Online, n.d.) are hidden in a genital slit. During mating, the penis of the male partner will protrude out of the genital slit and penetrate the female's vagina. Due to this, many aquatic mammals mate either belly to belly or turned on the side.

Dolphins do not only engage in sexual acts with the intent of reproduction. They also driven to engage in such acts for pleasure. "It is more accurate to state that animals (including humans and dolphins) are often driven to engage in sexual acts because the act itself is rewarding" (Dolphins Communication Project, 2014).

A typical size of a common dolphin's penis is approximately the size of a human hand (Lunau, 2017). However, they have a prehensile penis, meaning they can "swivel, grab and grope, much like a human hand" (Wetzel, 2020). This is so that they can navigate the "unusual vaginal folds, spirals and recesses" (Orbach, 2017)

In the middle of the ocean

"Alright Reece, this is far enough." The dolphin stopped and started squeaking loudly. "Alright alright, I shall reward you for your effort." Jeanne leaned forward and petted Reece on the snout, before kissing him on the lips.

People have often wondered about the story behind Jeanne and Reece. Some say Jeanne rescued Reece from captivity. Others say Reece respect Jeanne for being a holy maiden of the sea. But unlike the simple and typical girl-meeting-dolphin stories that people believed, the truth is that Jeanne and Reece helped to fulfil each other's sexual needs.

Jeanne slowly descend into the ocean while leaning against the edge of the raft. "Alright Reece, I am ready! Time to receive your reward!" Reece squeaked and started swimming around Jeanne, before stopping in front of her and rubbing his snout against her chest.

"Stop it Reece, you know what I want." Reece stopped rubbing and ascended with his penis protruding out of his genital slit. "Good boy! This is what I have been waiting for! Enjoy your reward, you naughty boy." Jeanne began rubbing Reece's penis with her hands before placing it into her mouth.

You might think the irregular-shaped prehensile penis is unable to fit into the Holy Maiden's petite mouth. But Jeanne was experienced in putting irregular-shaped objects into her mouth. Jeanne started bobbing her head back and forth, licking the tip of Reece's penis while rubbing it. "Someone has been a bad boy, someone's cock is grabbing my tongue, so aggressive." Jeanne continued to lick Reece's penis while occasionally touching herself.

After a few moments, loud squeaking sound could be heard. Reece squeaked loudly as he erupted all his dolphin semen into Jeanne's mouth. White gooey dolphin semen dripped down Jeanne's mouth and splattered onto her black bikini and blue hoodie. "Delicious! Just like the first day we met." With a single gulp, Jeanne swallowed it and started licking her mouth. She then proceeded to lick Reece's penis clean. "I hope you enjoyed your reward Reece," Jeanne kissed the happy dolphin on the snout. "Now that you are clean, I need you to call Scrooge for me."

Instead of calling for Scrooge, Reece squeaked and started to nibble Jeanne's breasts. Within seconds, the dolphin had bitten Jeanne's bikini top off and began to nibble on her nipples. "Stop it… Hyahh… Reece! I… Ahhhh… already given… Hyah… your reward." Jeanne tried to stop Reece in between moans. "I… Ahhh… know you…. Haa… want to… Hyahhh… make me cum… Ahhh…but I am…Uhh… preparing for… Hah… the main course."

Reece whimpered softly and stopped nibbling. "I know you are a good boy and you definitely made me happy with all the dolphin cum, but I am preparing for Scrooge." Jeanne petted the dolphin. "I will let you do me next time, alright?" Reece squeaked loudly and started diving into the ocean.

"Ok, time to prepare for the main course." Jeanne laid back onto the raft and adjusted her black bikini bottom such that her vagina is exposed. "I wonder if Scrooge will be happy to see me." Jeanne thought to herself while she touched her own breasts and vagina.

Soon, a rumbling sound could be heard beneath the ocean.

Like the dolphins, the penis of the blue whale is prehensile to navigate the multiple folds of the female's vagina (Whales Online, n.d.). However, the size of the blue whale is much larger than that of a dolphin. An average size of a blue whale penis is 2.4 metres (Whales Online, n.d.). When erect, it expands to about 30cm (12 inches) in diameter and about 3m (10 feet) in length (University of Wisconsin, 2012). "The erect penis can be guided using muscles, almost as if it were equipped with a homing device" (Whales Online, n.d.). In addition, "each ejaculation of a blue whale could produce around 20 litres of sperm" (Whales Online, n.d.).

During mating, the male and female will spend time rolling around each other, before flying upwards and crossing the surface. As they cross the surface, "the male will thrust his penis into the vulva and ejaculates" (University of Wisconsin, 2012).

In the middle of the ocean

Jeanne always hated having to act prim and proper. On the surface, she would put on the demeanour of a pure and innocent holy maiden, but when she is alone, she would often indulge in self-pleasure.

Ever since she became the Holy Maiden of the Sea, it has become an annual tradition for Jeanne to meet up with Reece and Scrooge. She provided them with love and comfort, in return, they provided her with the sexual release that she desired, that she craved, that she needed.

A loud roaring sound could be heard as a blue whale emerged from the sea.

"Oh Scrooge, I have missed you and your long enormous cock so much! Come on and devour me, you naughty boy!" If anyone were there, they would have not believed that the Holy Maiden of Salvation would be lying on a raft, in a seductive position, fingering her own vagina and saying such sexual things.

The blue whale roared as water sprayed out of his blowhole. "Someone's excited! Come on Scrooge, let us not wait around and fuck me already!" Jeanne screamed as the blue whale approached the small and petite Jeanne lying on the tiny raft. As Scrooge approached the raft, the shadow of a 3m penis could be seen emerging from his genital slit, covering the entire raft.

Back in the room with Gudao and Jalter

"Finally! We are done with these!" I shouted as I slammed the last piece of doujin onto the ground. "I can finally head out to the beach and enjoy myself!"

I should have been at the beach enjoying myself, soaking the warm sun and enjoying the waves. But instead, for the past few hours, I have been stuck in this crammed room helping Jalter with her work. I even had to give up the chance of hanging out with Jeanne and Reece.

"We could have finished this an hour ago if someone had not fallen asleep on my lap." Jalter shouted from the couch that was covered with piles of paper, while scrolling through her phone.

"While at least I don't droo…." A pillow slammed into the face, interrupting me mid-sentence. Throwing the pillow back at Jalter, I retorted "At least, I don't sit around and used my phone all day."

"Ya, whatever," Jalter shrugged both the thrown pillow and my remarks off. "But at least I found this meme about that holy saint." My eyes lit up with interests as soon as I heard that. "You can't just say something like that and not show me!" I rushed towards Jalter and tried to grab her phone. Jalter immediately kicked me on the face in response. "Stop trying to snatch my phone, you pathetic Master. Alright, I will show you before you destroy my phone."

Jalter pulled back her leg and showed her phone to me. "This one here. The one that they compared that holy saint to a blue whale."

The picture on the phone read "Did you know that the Maid of Orleans, Jeanne d'Arc, is 159cm in height. But Blue Whale's penis is about 2.4-3.0m in length, which is almost twice of her height"

"Oh, and this one here"

The next picture read "Did you know that the maiden of orleans, Jeanne d'Arc, weighed 44 kilos. In contrast, a blue whale can ejaculate around 1500 litres of semen"

"What the fuck Jalter?! What the fuck did I just read?! What am I even supposed to do with that information?!"

"It is a meme, idiot. You are not supposed to do anything with it." Jalter continued to use her phone amidst my confused and panicked screaming. "Only a degenerate would draw or write anything based on this information, which I hope you are not"

"I guess you are right, there is no chance Jeanne would associate herself with whale penis and whale semen. I know, I shall find Jeanne and tell her…."

"Hahahaha," A crackling laughter could be heard coming from Jalter. "Ya, you tell her about whale penis and whale semen. I cannot wait for her to look at you with eyes of contempt and disgust."

"Well, Jeanne isn't like you, you big tsundere of a witch…" As soon as those words come out of my mouth, Jalter snapped and started throwing pillows at me. I quickly ran out of the room with Jalter chasing after me with murderous eyes. "You little shit, I am so going to kill you!"

"Jeanne! Save me!"

Meanwhile in the middle of the ocean

"Yes Scrooge! Fuck me! Pump it into my pussy!" The Maid of Orléans moaned loudly as the blue whale positioned his 3m penis near her vagina. "Come on Scrooge! Give it…" Jeanne's words were interrupted with loud moans of pleasure as the blue whale penis began to insert slowly into her vagina. The force from the whale's penis caused Jeanne' bikini bottom to snapped and hanged off her body.

"Ahhh… Hyahhh…" Screams and moans of pleasure could be heard emitting from the mouth of the Holy Maiden. A rush of satisfaction and joy had washed over her. Her mind was lost to the pleasure derived from the penetration of the blue whale's penis into her vagina.

Since Jeanne's vagina could barely fit the tip of Scrooge's penis, any movement made by Scrooge resulted in Jeanne erupting into moans of pleasure. "Yessss… Fuck me…. Deeper… Scrooge…" Uncontrollable moans filled the air as Jeanne gripped tightly to the side of the raft while her vagina was being ravaged by a 3m blue whale's penis.

"Arghhhhh!"

Jeanne erupted into orgasmic pleasure as she ejaculated all over Scrooge's penis. Her fluid sprayed all over the blue whale's penis that was still inside her. As she laid on the raft panting, Scrooge continued to move his penis, which caused Jeanne to resume moaning and screaming.

"Ahhhh…. Scrooge… Stop… Ahhh… Give me… a break…" Jeanne tried to get Scrooge to slow down amidst all her moans and screams. But it is to no avail. The horny blue whale ignored her pleas and continued pumping into her vagina.

"Hyahhhhh!"

Jeanne screamed in pleasure as she ejaculated again all over the large rod penetrating her. She laid on the raft, paralysed, her mind long broken by the pleasure she experienced. Her facial expression was something unbecoming of a holy saint. She had been fucked senseless by the blue whale that was still penetrating her. Although she was unable to move her body consciously, her lower half continued to twitch and vibrate with every movement and every pump that Scrooge made.

As her body prepared for her third consecutive orgasm, Scrooge started to roar loudly, and water began to sprout out of his blowhole. The 3m penis started vibrating and a wave of semen began to shoot out of it into Jeanne's vagina.

At the same moment that Jeanne erupted into her third ejaculation, her vagina was engulfed by a sea of whale semen. As Scrooge starts to retract his penis back, whale semen continued to shoot out of it, eventually covering the Holy Maiden and the raft. Traces of whale semen sprayed onto her blue hoodie and black bikini.

There lies the Maid of Orléans, Holy Maiden of Salvation on a tiny raft, swimsuit torn and tattered, covered with whale semen, with a mixture of her own fluid and whale cum leaking out of her vagina.

Scrooge roared loudly and started diving back into the sea. As he did, he created a wave that started sending the mind-broken Jeanne back into the shore.

A few moments ago, at the beach

"Oh look, a whale!" "You hardly see one of those around, especially when it is not whale season."

I was at the beach, busy looking around for Jeanne, when a water sprout could be seen in the ocean. Most of the Servants were captivated by what seem to be a whale.

"Have anyone seen Jeanne anywhere? I am looking for her."

"Jeanne? I spotted her heading there." Musashi pointed to the far side of the beach. "She might be chilling with her dolphin."

"Thanks so much!" I thanked Musashi as I quickly headed towards the far side of the beach. But I was not prepared for the scene that would soon be presented in front of me.

Far side of the beach

"Jeanne! Jeanne!"

I shouted for Jeanne while walking towards the far side of the beach. "Where did Jeanne go?" I thought to myself as I had not seen a single soul on my way there.

Nearing the end of the beach, I spotted something white floating along the shoreline. Curiosity got the better of me as I ran towards the white unknown thing, hoping to find out what it is. If only I was not that curious, if only I had given up on finding Jeanne, then I would not have to face the terrible truth that I was able to witness.

"What in the world…" The white thing has a humanoid shape and it looked to be wearing a swimsuit. I inched closer to it, hoping to figure out what it is…

"What?! Noo… No…. Why…." I finally figured out what the white humanoid thing and as soon as I did, I fallen to my knees in despair. I could not believe my own eyes at the very sight that was displayed in front of me.

The sweet innocent Jeanne d' Arc, swimsuit torn and tattered, with her bikini just hanging off her body. The Holy Maiden of Salvation Jeanne d' Arc, covered in white gooey fluid, and fluid oozing out of her lower regions. The Maid of Orléans Jeanne d' Arc, with a face of euphoria as if she had been fucked senseless.

"… …" I was speechless and I had no idea how to react anymore. I sat on the beach, staring at the atrocity that was lying in front of me, unable to process anything or do anything. I just sat there, paralysed by the sight that was in front of me.

"… … Oh… Master… You are here…"

After what felt like forever, Jeanne finally spoke. "How… do I look? Guess… you finally… see my true self…" Jeanne calmly sat back up and started cleaning the white gooey fluid that was lingering on her body. To my horror, she started to lick the fluid that had covered her hands and face.

"… Yes Master… I am a naughty saint… I am not your innocent good girl… I love cocks… and love being fucked in my pussy…"

I could not believe the words coming out from Jeanne's mouth. The person sitting on the beach in front of me was an entirely different person that had fought together with me, that had laughed together with me, that had cried together with me.

"Oh… Are you thinking about this fluid? It is Scrooge's cum…" I stared at her with a face of disbelief. "You know… Scrooge… my blue whale? Ya… this is his cum…" Jeanne continued to explain while fingering out some of the fluid oozing out of her vagina and licking it seductively. "I don't know why you are surprised… Did you not read my skills? A constant supply of mana near the sea? It comes from this… I had to get mana transfer somewhere…"

It was pure torture hearing those words, and it was even more painful seeing the sweet and holy Jeanne fingering herself and licking the fluid off her hands. I wanted to run away, but I don't know whether it is curiosity or fear, I was rooted to the ground, unable to escape from the horror that was in front of me.

"Uhm… Jeanne… Does the rest…" I tried to force some words out of my mouth to break the silence between me and Jeanne.

"Does the rest know? Of course not, you silly Master." Jeanne suddenly crawled towards me and placed her fluid-stained finger in my lips. "This is a secret between you and me, not even Jalter knows about this."

"I know! Let us make a deal!" Before I could even ask what she meant by that, she had already leaned onto and kissed me on the lips.

"Noo… Jeanne… Please… Stop…" I tried to struggle and break free from her, but the horny saint just gripped tightly onto my face and continued to kiss me aggressively. All I could taste was her cum-stained mouth and tongue. I could not escape. Somebody please save me from this nightmare.

"With this… this entire thing will be our dirty… little… secret." After what felt like an eternity, Jeanne finally let go of me. "If you are cooperative, I might even let… you… fuck… me…" Jeanne began to touch and finger herself at her vagina. Sensual moans began to emit from her mouth.

At that point, I could not take it anymore. I fumbled myself away from her, and began to lifelessly walk back towards the main beach. As I silently walked back, I was haunted by her final words…

"Remember… Ahh… Master… This… Hyahh… is our… Hahh.. dirty… little… secret…"

End.

Author's Notes:

So… uhm… Thanks for reading. This is the first ever fanfiction that I have written so some parts might have sound weird. I would not have imagined that I would research and write about this type of content. (What am I even doing with my life).

If you were wondering, yes, this was based on the actual Jeanne-blue whale meme. Thanks to the wonderful people at citov4810 (Instagram) for "motivating" me to think of such a story. In case you were wondering about the format of the story, the original plan was to make a doujin, but since I am bad at art, I reckon I would write out a story first, so that it will make it easier when adapting into a doujin. (It would not be anytime soon)

Oh, but I might write a sequel involving Musashi and Jalter in the future (since I mentioned both of them in the story). Hopefully, those would not involve any whales or dolphins.

Please give some feedback and of course, you are always welcome to create fan art based on this (I know some of you horny artists are reading this). And if there is a talented or experienced doujin artists reading this, you are always welcomed to make a doujin based on this. I would love to see the type of degenerate content people might create.

No dolphins or whales were harmed in the writing of this story. This story is a work of fiction. And please do not fuck a dolphin or a whale.

References:

Butter-T [@Butter_T]. (2020, July 19). Knowledge Time. Did you know that the Maid of Orléans, Jeanne d'Arc, is 159 cm in height. But Blue Whale's [Tweet]. Twitter. https://twitter.com/butter_t/status/1284788510407356416

Citov4810 [@citov4810]. (2021, June 5). [Meme]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/CPuz8vZhhG8/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Dolphin Communication Project. (2014). Top 5 Dolphin Myths - Dispelled!. https://www.dolphincommunicationproject.org/index.php/2014-10-21-00-13-26/dolphin-science-factoids/item/94358-top-5-dolphin-myths-dispelled

Howard, C. J. (2009). Dolphin Chronicles: One Woman's Quest to Understand the Sea's Most Mysterious Creatures. Bantam.

Jay [@highonthighs]. (2018, July 30). Did you know the maiden of orleans, Jeanne d'Arc, weighed 44 kilos. In contrast, a blue whale can ejaculate around [Tweet]. Twitter. https://twitter.com/highonthighs/status/1023747660027752448

Jeanne d'Arc. (2021, June 13). In Fate/Grand Order Wiki. https://fategrandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Jeanne_d%27Arc?oldid=953090

Jeanne d'Arc (Archer). (2021, June 14). In Fate/Grand Order Wiki. https://fategrandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Jeanne_d%27Arc_(Archer)?oldid=953914

Jeanne d'Arc (Ruler). (2021, May 10). In TYPE-MOON Wiki. https://typemoon.fandom.com/wiki/Jeanne_d%27Arc_(Ruler)?oldid=195455

Lunau, K. (2017, October 11). Scientists Inflated Dead Dolphin Dicks to Simulate Cetacean Sex. VICE. https://www.vice.com/en/article/j5gzqg/cetacean-reproduction-sex-dolphins-seals-dalhousie-university-science

Orbach, D. (2017, April 23). An intimate look at the mechanics of dolphin sex. EurekAlert!. https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2017-04/eb2-ail041217.php

University of Wisconsin. (2012). Blue Whale Reproduction. Balaenoptera musculus. http://bioweb.uwlax.edu/bio203/s2012/olson_rile/reproduction.htm

Whales Online. (n.d.). Reproduction. Whales Online A Gremm Project. https://baleinesendirect.org/en/discover/life-of-whales/behaviour/reproduction/

Whales Online. (n.d.). Reproduction System. Whales Online A Gremm Project. https://baleinesendirect.org/en/discover/life-of-whales/physiology/reproductive-system/

Wetzel, C. (2020, November 17). Nine of the Weirdest Penises in the Animal Kingdom. Smithsonian Magazine. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/nine-weirdest-penises-animal-kingdom-180976274/

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Club Takamagahara (Part 3) The Main Character

Feels. If opportunities were broad sides of barges, the Devs couldn’t hit them.

I’m enjoying the heck out of this, and its not even hard to write.

Enjoy!

“MC!” Caesar’s voice startled you, even though you were awake. How could you sleep when your emotions were in such roiling turmoil?

You had just woken up in a strange place where people exploded everything that was inside themselves and doused the flames in showers of liquor. They poured it on each other, hugged, touched, screamed! If you grew up in the polar north, this was the tropics with its searing heat and blazing sun. You were calm about it, but like a sunburn, as you lay in the dark and closed your eyes the images of flashing lights and heaving bodies was turning into a strange red mark on your brain that you couldn’t ignore.

So you quickly get out of bed and open the closet.  It was Caesar. His expression was serious.

"Ten minutes, dress yourselves up, the store manager wants to see you." Caesar was once again dressed in full costume. He wasn’t wearing the same tight-fitting suit. It was replaced by a see-through silver shirt, tied a rhinestone neck scarf. The back of his tight pants wrapped his buttocks so that the muscle was visible.

“Why?” You ask, as you’re drawn out of the closet in confusion. The other boys were also dressed.

“While you were resting, we went into our interview. The Whale doesn’t want to make a decision without seeing you first.”

Your mind briefly flashes back to the Whale in Siberia. “Whale?”

Chu Zihang spoke. "Japan is surrounded by the sea on all sides, so the Japanese worship the ocean. In the sea, the whale is the most powerful animal, and whale meat is also an aphrodisiac food, so the man with the title of ‘Whale’ should be said to be the most powerful of men." 

“Here, get dressed.” Caesar had produced yet another outfit.

This Cheongsam was different, black. The chest was still covered, but your skin shined through lace roses on your chest. The skirt only barely covered the front and the back. The slits in both sides of the skirt rose all the way to the curve of your butt.

Mingfei peeked through his fingers. “Boss…”

“No time to worry about anything. You have to nail this.” Caesar said.

“Yes.” You held out your leg so he could help you into your fish nets, his fingers gently sliding up your calves and thighs.. “What do I have to do?”

“The Whale interview isn’t difficult, but it’s pass or fail. You have to open your heart to him and be as honest as you can. You can’t hold back or lie, because he’ll see through it. If he likes what he sees, he’ll let you stay.”

He stands behind you and removes the comb from your bun. The hair falls over your shoulder and he starts running a brush through it, pulling through the tangles roughly in his hurry.

“What is he going to ask?” You’re not minding his yanking. In fact, it felt nice to have your hair pulled like this. It gave you a tingly feeling in your scalp.

“I don’t know. If you do your best though, I think, you’ll be fine. But you’re very closed up. You can’t be that way in front of him. So just prepare yourself to be open.”

“Okay…” 

He turns you around. “Lu, get me the make up case.”

“Yes, boss.” 

He’s crouched in front of you, eyes sharp. His eyes search your face. “Your skin is good at least.”

You smile, but you feel nervous. He was right. Being open wasn’t your strong suit.

Lu Mingfei returns with the make up case and Caesar paints your eyes, sweeps a brush through your eyelashes and paints your lips. “I think simple is best in this situation.”

“Little sister… if you don’t feel comfortable. I understand…” Mingfei mumbled.

“I cannot do anything else, right now. If we’re thrown out, it’s over! So please just believe in me.” 

You glance up at him. Mingfei’s cheeks turn a little red. “I… Okay.”

As the four of you rise through the elevator, Caesar continues to explain to you. “The first floor is a stage and dance floor, a place for grand performances and female guests to drink and dance; the second floor is a spa and beauty salon; the third floor is a kaiseki restaurant called "Barnacles" and a tea house. The retired performers have their own suites on the third floor. We can only live in the basement as interns.  Well, it’s more accurate to say that we live in that bathroom.”

“No wonder you’re always bathing.” Your heart is leaping in your chest, but you stay calm on the outside, ever humorous.

“The fourth floor is off limits. Only those invited by the store manager can set foot here. They call it The Sea.”

You step out of the elevator. Fourth Floor.

Doors painted with blue acacia flowers opened one after another and, by each door stood tall, sturdy, black-clad bodyguards. You clasp your hands in front of you, just like you did for the man in the striped suit. Just like the high school student in the manga, you keep your eyelashes low, and your back straight. Only now there was no breeze to lift your skirt or hair.

Of course, the giant whale should live in The Sea, so this whole floor is the residence of the store manager. The main color of the whole floor is sea blue -- sea blue walls, sea blue carpets, sea blue curtains, even the table porcelain are sea blue. The bodyguards have turtles, starfish, and sea crabs tattooed on their bald heads.

In front of the last aquamarine door, a man, tall with a body overflowing with mounds of fat, stood. If this was the sea, and you were going to meet a whale, this man was truly like a male seal. The Baikal Seals live in Russia, in the great lake. They could reach five feet and length and weigh 290 pounds. But this man was far bigger than even the biggest seal you’d ever seen. You look up at him, jaw dropping. This man would probably rule the beaches of Baikal as a seal!

He looked down at you. “The only way to impress the store manager is to show your true self.” He rumbled. “I have never seen a woman do this before. So who knows what might happen? But it will be a clash of heart upon heart. If your woman’s heart can reach him then…”

The Seal Man trailed off into silence and stepped to one side.

The last door slowly swung in. The fresh scent of seaweed comes to your nose, and your ears are full of the sound of water, as if you were facing the undulating sea. 

Behind the door was a rotunda, with a huge ring-shaped transparent fish tank as the wall. Clusters of soft coral grew on the rocks. Sea grass swayed in the artificial waves. Sea turtles slowly floated up, to just touch their noses to the surface. The two-meter long tiger shark has swam around the hall. 

The ocean… again. You think bitterly. The Arctic Sea, then the Deep Sea of Japan, and now this? Most people were overwhelmed by the sight of such a magnificent office. After all, the amount of money to maintain something like this had to exceed the yearly salary of an ordinary person every month! But your eyes grow cold and your frown with annoyance. You’re sick of the ocean.

The hall was very open, with two rows of bookshelves behind an oversized desk. In the light sat a stout man that reminded you of a giant bear. His whole body bathed in aquamarine - from his aquamarine satin suit to his aquamarine leather shoes, with a huge aquamarine ring on his ring finger and a red coral brooch on his chest. He sat on an aquamarine velvet sofa, smoking a thick Churchill cigar, gently stroking a famous breed of Himalayan cat, and shaking a cup of golden alcohol on the rocks, which reflected a splendid light. 

True to his name, the store manager Whale is even more dominant when he appears in private marine settings. He wore huge sunglasses. The top of his head shined like bright tile. Were it not for the blue whale tattooed on the side of his head, you would have thought that he too was part of the yakuza. But seeing it took away from the seriousness of it all.

He looks at you and quirks a single eyebrow. He eyes you up and down once and then nods, looking over to Caesar, Zihang, and Mingfei. “It looks like you weren’t kidding me about her.”

What did Caesar say? You wonder and glance over your shoulder, but the three men were already moving to the aquamarine sofas near the glass walls.

This was it. You take a deep breath. Whatever the question, you would answer with your truth. No matter how difficult, no matter how dark, no matter how cold. If he didn’t like it? Tough. Such rich and privileged men could rarely handle a truth, especially a woman’s truth. Such was reality. You doubted this sort of tactic would let you win, but you had to trust Caesar.

And yourself.

The Whale picked up a brush and dipped it in ink. Instead of writing he froze, looking up at you once again. His eyes behind the tint met your cold challenging ones. He slowly lifted the brush, looked down at a small parchment.

He wrote in quick elegant calligraphy, two characters which he held up for all to see. “Lost Love.”

“Ms. MC. The question I am asking you is about lost love.”

You inhale sharply through your nose and your eyes widen. You’d opened your heart and now, it was like he had taken a long sword and run you through with it! Your ears tingle. Your eyes burn. Your hands, still clasped in front of you, jerk tighter to dig your nails in, a reflex to stem the emotional pain.

“In this line of work, we deal with many women who have no love or have never experienced it. Caesar says you have never experienced the love of a man. So tell me. What can you say about Lost Love?”

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. The memories spiral up from your heart and through your mind like a long sleeping geyser that had finally erupted, flooding your body and rendering you speechless.

The darkness of the winter solstice comes again, but it’s midday in the arctic. So the pale blush of the reminder of sun was just starting to appear on the low horizon. The sky is full of stars. The green aurora dances over head like a parade. The lighthouse in the distance peals its church-like bell, slowly rotating its sword of light though the thick night air. A flock of white snow geese pass by, in V formation, calling encouragement to each other on the journey.

Renata is sitting alone on stones swept free from the fallen dry snow. Her blond hair is tucked up in her fur lined hood and her body is covered head to toe in the thick coat that was patched over and over in many colors. 

Your breath fogs in front of your face as you sigh and make your way up.

A whale always passed by here this time of day on Christmas. It was a secret you shared only with her and you came up here every year to see it. As you go to sit down next to her, the whale appears, a black shadow moving under the ice.

“Make a wish.” She whispers.

Normally, people wished on stars. But the stars were frozen and inert in the sky, stuck here, just like you. The whale, however, was free to roam as it liked. It had the power to make dreams come true.

After a moment, Renata looked up at you, her pale blue eyes sparkling. Her skin was good, her lips bright and her cheeks flushed against the winter frost. “What did you wish for?”

“The same thing I wish for every year.” You reply warmly.  “I want to be just like the whale. To be free and live in the ocean."

Renata grins and giggles. "If that day ever comes, I hope that I'll be standing right next to you. I'm very happy to have you... by my side.”

Your breath suddenly flies from your lungs and your eyes rise again to the sea of blue around you. The fish, the shark, the coral and the tortoises. It is just like you were once again miles under the sea. 

Your hand goes over your mouth.

You’re speaking with a whale.

“Renata…” Your voice squeaks and your knees shake.

Whale doesn’t understand your words and his confused look brings you back to earth. But you can’t school your expression. You feel like you’re bleeding out and you can’t stop it. Your mind is in a daze of joy and pain. Even though your eyes are swimming with tears, the joy stretches your face into a rapturous smile!

You were swimming free, like the whale in the ocean. You’ve been to the big city. And even though you could no longer hear her voice, you can feel her with you, like a shadow that held the warmth of her hand in yours. Never had it been so strong as now.

“Lost Love?” You look him with this blaze of emotions pouring from your cold dark eyes. “Oh, Whale… there’s no such thing!”

The Whale’s jaw drops. His hand goes limp. The ink brush drops from his hand and falls to the carpet, spraying the ink on his aquamarine shoes.

For a moment, there is silence. And then a wail, like a roar of an injured beast!

The fat man who had greeted you is weeping openly, one arm over his eyes. He’s moaning out something in Japanese that you don’t understand.

Lu Mingfei quietly translates. “That guy's name is Fujiwara Kanousuke. Before he went to The Sea to become a male performer he was a Daiguan-level sumo wrestling star, just shy of rising to the top 'Yokozuna'. His previous girlfriends were all Japanese drama stars, and he was considered a hot and beautiful man in Japan. But then a female fan heard the news that he was getting engaged and desperately jumped to her death. This is the first time he understands how she felt." 

His eyes lower and he falls into silence while the man sobs.

Chu Zihang stands up and wanders away from the group, raising his eyes to watch the sea turtles swimming by.

Whale slammed his fist on the desk and everyone jumped. The cat hisses and flies off his lap in a blur to hide behind the bookcases. “This… this…” He croaked, shaking. Beads of sweat were rolling down his bald head. They moistened his nose and his glasses slipped down his face. “This power… I thought I’d never see it.”

Power…? Your emotions are almost calm but the effort of control has left crescent moon bruises in your aching hands.

“The power to move a man’s heart to action, to reach out and to embrace another woman’s heart, uncontrollably! Yes! YES!”

He leans on the desk, glaring at Caesar, “BasaraKing… I want to keep her here but I cannot accept your offer to make her do something as crass as bidding up fish. I want her to be a challenge to my precious performers! To pour out their love on her to the superlative degree!”

Your eyes widen and you freeze in place. What did that mean?!

Lu Mingfei was equally appalled but as soon as he opened his mouth, Caesar’s hand slapped over it to silence him. “Yes, sir. I’m glad her answer pleased you.”

“I cannot give you an Ikemen persona… you are not Ikemen… no… the opposite. You…”

He pointed a shaking ringed finger at you. “You! Are!”

He swept out his hands and raised his eyes to the ceiling, shouting like an evangelical preacher. “YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER!”

[devnicolee]

The Chosen Ones (6)

Warnings: Slow burn, angst 

Word Count: 9,150

Pairings: M’Baku x Original Character

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

A/N: This took forever... slowly realizing I am a slow writer lol also this story was only supposed to be 5 chapters. It is going to be more like 8. Someone teach me how to write shorter stories and chapters lol Enjoy!

Asha gingerly opened her eyes to the darkness of her bedroom, her deep red curtains blocking the sunlight she knew tried to shine through her window. She stretched her arms and legs slightly, grimacing at the soreness that still coursed through her bones. She closed her eyes again, focusing internally to feel her powers once again at full force. The panther inside was rested and rejuvenated... ready for a new day. After years of begging to be rid of them, it was unnerving and terrifying to have exhausted them the way she did last night. She was slowly coming to realize that even in her lifelong hate of her powers, she still relied on them to catch her if she ever fell. Last night was an example of what would happen when the safety net was not beneath her. That was enough to force the young princess on her journey to accepting her powers, even without her conversation with Bast.

She thought back to her conversation with Bast briefly but refused to let her mind spiral too far down that black hole.

It is too early to dissect that, she determined silently. She would need a cup of strong coffee… maybe Jabari rum, to process that. 

She lazily rolled over to her side, eyes still heavy and tired, deciding to fall back into the unconscious world for a bit. Quiet moments passed before she opened her eyes again, coming face to face with the slumbering giant in her bed. Her eyes widened with shock as she took in M'Baku's resting form and deep, gentle snores.

I must have been more tired than I thought last night, she thought to herself, knowing that if she had all her wits about her... she certainly would not have forgotten falling asleep with the man of her dreams under her covers.

The desire for more sleep vanished like a flash of lightning. Small flashes of the night before appeared in her mind like a movie. Him carrying her to the fire, her asking him to stay in her bed, his heavy arm pulling her close to him, the warmth of his chest, him saying he would care if she died.

I would care. 

How could three simple words carry so much weight? Perhaps because aside from her siblings, no one had ever said it about her before. She loved him... She was in love with him. And she never felt it more strongly or deeply than last night when he held her in his arms. They hadn't done anything... hadn't even shared a kiss but that was intimacy unlike anything Asha had ever experienced. Staying like this with him was far more appealing than the drama she knew waited for her outside her bedroom's vibranium-enforced walls. 

She could see it now: waking up to his soft snores in the mornings, the thumps of his strong heartbeat against her ear as she laid on his chest, his strong arms wrapped around her to keep her close and safe, his natural body heat keeping her warm. She wanted it... craved it. And she thought nothing could top waking up in his bed that morning in Jabariland? This beat that by miles.

Her fingers ran up and down his bicep, feeling the strong muscle beneath the surface that gave him his sculptured figure. His eyes opened slowly at her light touch, the warrior inside crushing the heavy sleeper he once was as a child. A smile crept across his face as he took her in for the first time that day, a sight he certainly could get used to. He decided that there would be no better way than to start his days than with this woman by his side.

"Good morning," he said, his deep voice raspy and somehow more sexier than normal to Asha. 

"Good morning," she answered back, a sly smile on her face.  A silence fell over the two for a few moments as they just laid and stared at each other. Asha looked away, the intensity in his eyes too much for her. The joy of waking up with him was slowly morphing into dread. It was unfortunate that she could so clearly articulate the feelings she had for him to herself but the moment she had the opportunity to say them to him? She clammed up and shut down. The sun was up and a new day meant they would have to talk... about their complicated feelings, what they could be to each other, what it would mean for their families, their tribes. Asha didn't even know if she was still engaged... though she figured it was a safe guess to assume that arrangement had ended. 

She knew she wanted to choose M'Baku and figured he felt the same. After all, why would he still be here if he didn’t? But still, she dreaded asking... dreaded revealing her true feelings only to be disappointed. Asha's life was a series of moments where she thought things were going well and life veered down a hill of ragged rocks. Hasani was a great example... something she thought could work out only to be sadly mistaken. She was tired of expecting smooth sailing only to be met with rough seas and disappointment. She wanted desperately to believe this would be different, but her fear was real. She didn't know which conversation she was dreading more: the one with her brother and sister or the one in front of her right now. 

"W-we should probably get up, yes? I need to talk to my brother and sister. I-I should have called them last night," Asha said quickly, stumbling over her words a bit. Ultimately, she chose her siblings, that crisis seemed less daunting than whatever was going on between them. Besides, it seemed selfish to focus on building a new life with someone after lighting her old one on fire. It was her duty to help put it out first. 

She watched a look of surprise and disappointment flash across his face as she sat up to get out of bed. But to his credit, he did not voice it. He didn't want to get around her family and lose the opportunity to finally talk about them. He knew what last night meant for her family and he felt for them. But he also knew that last night meant the end of her engagement. M'Baku was not as selfless as he hoped to be so he couldn't help but see all of this as another barrier between them falling, granting them a clearer path ahead. But as T'Challa rightfully reminded him, selfishness was not Asha's way. They would need to deal with the consequences of last night before she would ever consider their future.

"Yes. Your sister left these for you, since yours were destroyed."  

He handed her a delicate set of new beads, which she quickly slid onto her wrist as she muttered a soft thank you. They blinked purple for a few moments when they touched her wrist, resyncing themselves with her information. 

M'Baku quickly excused himself to go back to his own guest room and change his clothes, allowing Asha to do the same.  

Asha used the new set of beads Shuri left with M'Baku to send messages to her siblings, mother, and Nakia, asking the group to meet her in T'Challa's office in 15 minutes. She was desperate to see them, to talk to them. Guilt rose like bile in her throat as she contemplated what to say, the appropriate apologies and explanations she needed to give for her reckless actions. Her father always said she would be the downfall of their tribe and she always vowed to prove him wrong. She had quite spectacularly failed at that. She knew they would ask about her flying adventure and she was not quite sure on what to tell them. Would she tell them of her near brush with death, her visit to the Planes, her conversation with Bast... her desperate attempts to stay there?

No... she quickly decided. 

The rest? Maybe, Bast seemed to believe there was some quest she had to fulfill and she had no earthly idea what it could be. Perhaps the other two-thirds of the Golden Trio could help her decipher Bast's riddles. But she knew she could never tell them that she tried to choose death, that would be hard to admit and even harder for them to hear. 

Once dressed, she walked outside her room to find Alexis waiting. Her guard did not even attempt to hide her jubilation at seeing the Princess alive, well and whole as she quickly swept the girl into a tight hug. Despite her surprise, Asha returned it with equal vigor, tightly wrapping her guard and confidant in her embrace. 

"Don't ever scare us like that again," Alexis stated sternly in her ear, though there was a plea buried under Alexis' usual abrasive tone.

"Never... I promise," Asha said back. It seemed Alexis decided that her stern warning would do and let the young girl go. Asha smiled at her before the two started toward M'Baku's guest quarters. 

M'Baku emerged from his door as soon as his guard knocked to alert him of Asha's arrival, having been ready moments before. The two shared a smile but no words, having just seen each other, and continued on the journey to T'Challa's office. 

Asha tried her best to ignore the stares and hushed whispers of the palace staff they passed. She knew what it meant. Her powers were no longer a palace secret... the thing many knew of or suspected but dared not talk about. Now, she imagined the secret was free and circulating through the palace and country like air, being soaked up by person after person after person. She felt exposed, naked… particularly without her rings she completely destroyed. 

However, she was determined not to let them get to her. Where yesterday's Asha would have shrunk into the shadows and hid in her room, today's Asha forced herself to hold her head high. It was difficult, she found herself desperate to hide at moments. But every time she did, a voice whispered to her and reminded her that she was a child of Bast. If Bast would not tolerate her kneeling before her, she certainly would not accept her cowering before anyone else. 

Asha knew the true transformation into the person Bast wanted her to be... the person she was apparently meant to be would take time. One meeting with Bast, one night would not change how she felt about herself, or stop her desire to run away from who she was. She knew she was still miles away from where Bast wanted her to be and where Wakanda apparently needed her to be, but she would celebrate any small step in the right direction. 

They rounded a corner and found themselves face to face with T'Challa's unmanned office door. She didn't announce her presence, simply opening the door to find her favorite people in this world huddled around T'Challa's desk. She didn't get a word out or even cross the threshold of the office before a speeding ball crashed into her and almost knocked her off her feet. There was no need to look down and figure out who it was, only one person in her world hugged like a mini cannonball.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her sister before pulling back to hold her face in her hands. Shuri looked as though she aged years in that one night. She looked up and found similar looks of worry and exhaustion on everyone else's face, bags and worry lines that could not be hidden by their wide smiles at seeing her.

Shuri seemed reluctant to let her go but finally did, giving her brother the chance to wrap her in a bone-crushingly tight hug.

"We are glad you are ok," he said.

Just hearing his voice, the voice of her first and fiercest protector caused tears to spring up to her eyes. She hid them as best she could but she knew the dam wouldn't hold for much longer. The round-robin of hugs continued with Nakia and Okoye before Asha turned back to face her brother again.

Her right hand fidgeted with the long sleeve on her cardigan, her apprehension and nerves clearly on display. They calmed slightly at the soothing circles M'Baku rubbed into her back and his presence so close to her as she tried to overcome the tightness in her vocal chords. When she finally looked up at T'Challa again, he was shocked to see tears streaming down her face. 

"I-I am so sorry T'Challa," she whispered. "Running away like that... scaring you all like that. I-it was selfish and i-it was wrong. A-a-and I never should have provoked Elder Shani in the first place. This is all my fault, I feel horrible. I am just... please forgive me." 

"Why in Bast's name are you talking about? You can't think any of us blame you for this?" Shuri asked, her confusion painted clearly on her face.

"How could you not? After what I said to her... and fleeing like that? I mean I broke a window for Bast’s sake." Asha's eyes bounced between the two, searching for a hint of anger or disappointment, searching for the reactions she had built up in her mind. But she couldn't find any of it.

T'Challa chuckled, "You mistake us for Baba, Asha. We are not him... unreasonable and apathetic. Nothing you said to Elder Shani was untrue or wrong. It was your right to speak up as my advisor. Elder Shani made a choice and those choices are not your fault, nor are they a reflection of you. We were worried about you, of course. But we certainly do not blame you. We will have to speak about the window though," he added with a smile, winking at her.  

"Quite frankly, you did us all a favor," Shuri added, waving off Asha's concerns with her hand as she hoisted herself up slightly to sit on T’Challa’s desk. "Keeping that secret was killing you, hurting the tribe's reputation with all those lies. Now, we don't have to worry about that anymore. The laws are gone. You can set things on fire to your heart's content and no one can hold it over our heads again." 

Asha nodded slowly, "I know not everyone feels that way... where is mama?" she asked, acknowledging the absence of a key member of the Panther Tribe.

Asha tried not to feel affronted by the fact that she almost died and her own mother had not come to see about her. She knew it was long past time to accept her mother's lukewarm reception of her. She always thought of her as an ally but as she grew and analyzed her childhood, she recognized that Ramonda was merely an extension of her husband. She would never fully love Asha as a mother should. But for reasons unknown, or rather that she did not yet want to admit, she still held hope that her mother would be more to her. And she was always disappointed. 

T'Challa and Shuri could not control their immediate reaction to share a dark glare with each other. Asha appreciated their attempts to hide it and put on for her benefit. But she knew it was just that... an act.

"Mama said she would see you later. Don't worry about her. She is glad you are alright," T'Challa managed to say, though lying was never his strong suit, with a failed attempt at a reassuring smile on his face.  

"It is high time you two stop lying about things for my benefit. I know, just as well as you do, that, at best, she is begrudgingly happy about my survival," Asha snorted, eyes rolling as she settled down on the couch across from T'Challa's desk. 

"But we are not here to discuss mama... we are here to discuss the other woman who hates me. How bad is it?" Asha asked, moving on to more important matters than her mother's indifference toward her. Jitters coursed through her body as she waited to hear of the damage her stunt brought upon them. She felt M'Baku's weight settle on the couch next to her, his presence forcing some of those jitters to melt away.

M'Baku stayed silent throughout their meeting, feeling like an outsider in a family reunion. He felt assured in his presence knowing Asha indeed wanted him there. Her body gravitated toward his, leaning into his side the moment he sat down on the couch. His hand instantly found its home on her knee, her fingertips grazed his arm gently. It was so natural, he almost didn't realize it and wondered if she even noticed it herself. The intimacy of their soft, effortless touches were not lost on him or the other occupants of this office. He imagined it looked as if they had been in love for years, that was surely how it felt to him. Except, he didn't know what they were... in love, yes. In sync? Not so much.

T'Challa leaned against his wooden desk, suddenly looking older, the burdens of a king etched on his face. He rubbed his eyes like an exhausted child and folded his arms across his chest before answering,  "It is, unfortunately, as we feared. Elder Shani has launched a campaign against the Panther Tribe. She has already gathered a group of vocal anti-mutants to support her and told anyone who will listen the truth of your status and the web of lies built to hide it. If it is any consolation, it seems to us that most of the country is enraged by the lies and secrets, not your actual status."

"The River Tribe and the Jabari are firmly behind us. The Mining and Border Tribes are still on the fence, refusing to signal support either way. We believe she will use the King's Exhibition tomorrow as her moment to publicly demand another challenge," Shuri added. 

"Can she do that?" M'Baku asked.  

"Technically, yes. It hasn't been done in a century and has always failed. But the majority of the Council can demand another challenge for the throne if they have sufficient evidence against the King. If she convinces the mining and border tribes to join her, she will have her majority." 

"Our best bet is to remind the Mining and Border Tribes of the long-term implications of another challenge. If we strip T'Challa of his powers to challenge for the throne, it will be the end of the Black Panther. The last of the herbs runs through his veins," Nakia offered from her spot by the window. 

Asha's head lulled into her hands, her soft moan of exasperation muffled through her fingers. She loathed to think about it, but her father was right. The truth was out and their tribe was beginning to crumble. 

"Your engagement to Hasani has been called off, not officially. But we have no reason to uphold our end of that bargain when she did not uphold hers. It is nothing we cannot handle, Asha."

Asha nodded, slowly standing and pacing by the couch. Her fingers twisted among themselves as she walked, thinking. "Ok. So how do we stop her? What do we need to -"  

"No, there is nothing we need to do. Shuri and I had a long conversation last night and we decided that whatever comes of this, wherever this takes us... it is no longer your concern." 

Her pacing ceased, her hands fell to her sides as his words hit her. There was no malice, no intention of harm in his words... not even a hint of harshness. And yet, the words felt like a slap to the face, a slight. "T'Challa... what? What is that supposed to mean?"

He walked up to her, taking her hands in his firmly, ignoring her immediate instinct to rip them away. He saw the flickers of hurt in her eyes and needed to explain. He felt responsible for all this carnage that surrounded them. M'Baku was right. T'Challa always did the easiest thing when it came to his sister, never taking the leap that would actually free her. It was his determination as her big brother to free her, no matter the cost to him or their family. And it was time she stopped lugging around the weight of the consequences alone.

"It means that our parents laid the fate of our family... our legacy at your feet and that was unfair. Forced you to carry a weight alone that is all of ours. Your life has never been your own because of that. We will not do that any longer. As king, the fate of our family and tribe is my cross to bear. The rest of this life is yours... to experience something different, choose something different." His eyes lingered on M'Baku for a moment for he knew, even if his sister didn't yet, that life in Jabariland was that something different she needed to explore.

Asha was rarely at a loss for words but she couldn't think of anything to say. What he offered, she desperately wanted to accept. After all, it is what she always wanted. To be free of this place and all that came with it. But after her conversation with Bast, she now worried that her heart's desire was not her destiny. She was born into this family for a reason. If her destiny was to live happily in Jabariland, Bast could have put her there from the start. But no... she was here and that meant that whatever she was meant to do in this life, she couldn't turn her back on her role for good. After 15 years of believing she had to get rid of her powers to truly be in this family or that she had to leave in order to be free, she now actually saw a path in which she could have both.

She squeezed his hand before replying, "I love you both... more than anyone in this life. And I appreciate this, truly. But we are our family's present and future. So we share the burden of leading this country and its people. I can no more dissolve myself of the responsibilities that come with that than you can. I cannot leave here and pretend I do not care what happens to our family." 

"But you said you couldn't stay here anymore?" Shuri asked. 

"I did say that... before. But I don’t know how true that is now. Before I d-didn’t see a lot of choices.  I wanted so desperately to be loved and wanted in this life. I just wanted to be like you two... you both live lives that are vibrant, filled with your passions and joy... filled with hope. It always hurt to watch you both live the lives you so richly deserved while I could not. But when I got back from Jabariland, days spent watching what my life here could have been like, I realized I couldn't ignore that pain anymore. I couldn't be satisfied with a half-life anymore, which is why I took the easy way out and ran. But you two are my family and this is my home. You two are in this world so I do not have a desire to choose a different one.”

T'Challa nodded, understanding, "We just want you to find happiness, Asha. Even if it is not with us... even if it is not here." 

"The only happiness I have ever known has been with the people in this room. I can find some more happiness outside these walls and not turn my back on our family at the same time. I thought I couldn't but Bast showed me that I could, made me remember that you all are worth that. You are the reason I came back."

"'Came back?'" Shuri repeated slowly, confusion evident in her tone and on her face. "What do you mean?"  

Asha bowed her head, internally frustrated at her slip up. She thought about lying but that wasn’t them. She, Shuri and T'Challa were different. She always felt like they would never understand the depths of her sadness and pain. But they proved her wrong time and time again. They might not have understood fully but they never stopped trying, never stopped listening.

"Um... well, when I fell, I went to the Ancestral Plane." 

The air in the room became thick with tension as her words sank down upon them. T'Challa's body went rigid, his shock and anger clear in his facial expression. Tears welled up in Shuri's eyes. M'Baku leaped up from his seat, immediately tugging on her elbow to turn Asha's attention toward him.

Asha's body was tired of crying, exhausted of it, and yet the look of rage and pain in his face made her throat tight and tear ducts active again.

"You died?" he whispered, words barely above a whisper to keep the shakiness out of his voice.  

"How are you here?" Okoye asked as the only person who managed to maintain their composure, though her face did seem harder than usual. "How is this possible? No one but the Black Panther can visit the Planes and return." 

Asha scratched her head, unsure on how to explain something that she didn't fully understand herself. Scientifically, she knew what happened to her should not have been possible but what about any of this was scientific? It was all determined by Bast and she did not adhere to the rules of man. 

"I don't know. Truly. Bast said I wasn't dead but that the fall was an opportunity for her to speak with me. She did say that it was my choice of whether to stay or return here. I chose to return."

"Bast? The Bast?" T'Challa whispered. 

"Yes... The Bast... Panther Goddess of Wakanda and all that. You talked to her on your trip to the Plane yes?" Asha asked, confused as to why her brother looked more shocked than the rest of them. It was a known fact that the Black Panther visited the Ancestral Plane when they were given their powers. T'Challa visited twice, once more than any Black Panther before him. It was always Asha's assumption that the protector of Wakanda met with the Goddess that gave them those powers during that crucial visit.

"No. No, I didn't. I spoke to Baba, both times. And only Baba. I have never heard of a panther speaking directly to Bast, aside from the first Black Panther of course."

What is so special about me? Asha wondered silently to herself. 

If she was being honest, meeting Bast had not seemed like much of an honor initially to her. But Asha's anger at her was unparalleled, her frustrations having built up for years with no release. It was hard to find joy in a meeting sullied by such pain and anger. 

"So what happened??" Shuri demanded, loudly, tapping Asha on the arm to pull her out of her own head. 

"When I woke up, I thought it was just a dream. I have dreamed about the Planes since I was a child and had not realized it. She showed up. I yelled at her, demanded she let me stay in the Planes," Asha admitted sheepishly, "And then she told me that Wakanda needed me to save its future and the legacy of the Black Panther. That is it. There were a lot of words but she did not offer many tangible actions," Asha added at the end, voicing her frustration at the cryptic messages her goddess gave her. 

"Unless she told you how to make me immortal or gave you new seeds to grow more herbs, I am not sure you or anyone can save the legacy of the Black Panther. The mantle will die when I die." There was a sadness in his eyes that Asha had only seen in her own, an acknowledgement that he would indeed be the last of a centuries-long tradition. "Wakanda's only protector will be gone forever."  

"Perhaps not forever..." M'Baku whispered. Asha could almost see the light bulb in his head going off as he addressed the full group for the first time since they walked in.

Everyone's attention shifted to the Mountain King, eyes wide with skepticism. The same question oscillating in all their minds: What did a Jabari know of the Heart-Shaped Herb?  

"What do you mean?" Asha asked. 

"I have had this reoccurring dream about the heart-shaped herb since I was a child. Except, the herb was on the top of a mountain, covered in ice, in Jabariland. I would try to seize one and panthers would surround them and I would wake up. The same outcome every single time. I believed the dream was my sign to challenge for the throne. But I continued to have the dream after Challenge Day. What if it means something more?"

"I don't see how that can help us, Lord M'Baku," Shuri muttered, rolling her eyes. "Those were just dreams. You all have never found herbs in Jabariland. There are none. We have searched... There are none in the wild in all of Wakanda."

"Yes, we have yet to find herbs in Jabariland, that is true Princess. But we have not searched all of Jabariland. There is a small mountain range on the border of the Land of the Heart-Shaped Herb, land that no Jabari has set foot on in almost a century. Its forest is impenetrable. It is forbidden. Truthfully, I haven't thought about it in years until just now. Last night, King T'Challa said that your priestesses refuse to go to the Hall of Kings because they are attacked by visions and voices, yes? Our scouts used to report the same phenomenon in those mountains. Even the Chosen are not immune."

"You think there are herbs there?" Nakia said? "I don't understand why Bast would put herbs outside of Wakanda?" 

"Technically... she didn't put them outside Wakanda. We did. Old maps of Wakanda show that the land that is now the Land of the Heart-Shaped Herb stretched into the mountains. The Taifa Ngao simply thought the mountain and river's natural fortification made the easiest barriers between the territories, an easy break between the two that would not confuse anyone. But in doing so, part of the forest of herb ended up in Jabari territory. Bast said that she and Hanuman were aligned on many things... maybe it is protecting the last of the Heart-Shaped Herb?"

"This is all speculation. What proof is there to any of this? And how can we find them when the forest drives you to insanity?" 

"You cannot believe these are coincidences? These dreams are real. Think about everything that has happened... Killmonger, reuniting Jabari with Wakanda, Asha meeting with Bast? All of it had to be for a reason. This is the reason. There are herbs in Jabariland and Asha is meant to lead us to them. She is not a Jabari, she is not a Chosen... she is... something else. She may be the only person who can do this." 

Heads turned to Asha as she contemplated everything M'Baku said. She could not deny that the pieces fit together as he described them. If there were herbs left in this world, M'Baku may have just drawn them the road map directly to that garden. They owed it to Wakanda to find out the truth. And he was right… she was something else. She was A Gift. 

"Then we go. We search for it. Today," Asha declared, determination set on her face. 

"Today??" Shuri called out incredulously, laughing lightly at the absurdity of this plan. "You can't be serious? You literally died last night and now you want to go hiking? Are you on drugs??"

"Yes, I must agree with Shuri. Not because I don't believe you may be right. B-but you cannot run off into the forest off M'Baku's word and a hunch, Asha. it is not safe." 

Asha shook her head. "It is not just M'Baku's word... it is Bast's too. She said I was to build last bridges across Wakanda, T'Challa. This is it. This is what she wants me to do. The herb and the Black Panther are what stopped Wakanda from tearing itself apart centuries ago. It is the thread that has held us together for centuries. Without it, we will just tear each other apart again. Bast doesn’t want the Black Panther to die, it would be the end of her people. If the Jabari lead us to the last of the wild herbs and give us the opportunity to cultivate them once more... no Wakandan could ever deny their place in this country again. If a mutant helps us preserve the legacy of the Black Panther, no one would ever question their existence again. They would have to recognize them as Bast intended, as gifts to her people. Brother... you have done what was once thought as unimaginable: bringing mutants back into the light, bringing the Jabari back into Wakanda. The Warrior Shaman went into the wilderness to save Wakanda then. This is how we save Wakanda now." 

T'Challa stared at her intently, processing her words. He knew she was right, knew the puzzle pieces did in fact create this clear picture and path forward. However, he wished she was not the one that had to do it. 

"We need the herb before the King's Challenge tomorrow evening. This is how we will convince the Mining and Border Tribes to maintain their allegiance to the throne. Are you sure you can do this, Asha? It won’t be an easy journey alone." 

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. "And I won't be alone." 

***

The ramp of the Royal Talon thudded softly into the soft ground of a clearing in Jabariland, allowing Asha and M'Baku to descend into the frigid air. They looked like an odd pair, he in traditional Jabari hiking clothes. Asha, who had never done true hiking in her life, was in a borrowed pair of boots, leggings and a light jacket. A freezing Jabari day felt like a nice cool day to her. Both had backpacks filled with supplies and blankets, courtesy of Shuri who had also never hiked but seemed to think it was a week-long affair. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked M'Baku as they stepped into the soft and undisrupted snow on the ground. The Talon dropped them off at a spot already halfway up the mountain, giving them a head start. Unfortunately, the thick trees would not let them get any higher. 

"Do you want to do this?" he countered, already knowing the answer. "No one wants to walk into a forest filled with magic. But this is my duty. I will nott turn back on it." 

“How do we know that you are immune? From the creepy voices and dreams?” Asha asked, concerned for his mental health. 

“We don’t. I guess we will have to wait and find out.” 

Asha gave him a side glance. The man didn't look scared but there was such silence in him since they got on the plane and certain tension radiated off him that she was not used to. She wondered if this was how he wore fear.. This was certainly a new side of him she was experiencing.

"You said your dreams put the herb at the top of the mountain yes?" 

"Yes, we should get started. It will take us a great deal of time." 

The further they walked, the more Asha understood why people did not come here. Even without the voices and visions, which she was sure would be terrifying to the average Jabari, the trees were so thick and hunched over that they blocked out almost all of the natural sunlight along their path. It seemed as though night had fallen the moment they stepped foot out of the clearing. But so far, M'Baku's theory seemed to hold true. Asha heard nothing except the chitter chatter of forest animals, the swaying of trees, and a mixture of her and M'Baku's breathing. 

Silence followed them easily as they walked for the first stretch, neither needing to stop or fill the space with unnecessary conversation. They just walked upward, toward the garden they knew was waiting for them. Occasionally, Asha threw a glance toward M'Baku, wondering what he was thinking of, wondering if they should use this free time to finally talk. 

"It seems you were chosen in a different way, Lord M'Baku," she mused aloud as he used his knobkerrie to knock low-hanging branches from their path. 

He looked back at her, eyebrows raised in speculation. 

"How do you figure that?" 

She laughed lightly, her childlike laughter filling the quiet forest as they went. "Well, you said this journey drives everyone else insane. Yet here you are... mind clear enough to continue the journey. Why do you think that is?" 

Her question was met with silence but she could practically hear the wheels in his head churning, thinking about her words. 

"Here we are... the only two people in all of Wakanda who could make this journey? You are doing something even T'Challa could not. You are saving the legacy of Wakanda." 

"I don't serve your God though. Bast would not use me as a pawn in her plans." 

She had fallen behind him slightly, his long legs allowing him to take greater strides than her. She sped up and he slowed down slightly so they could walk side by side and better engage in conversation. 

"Bast and Hanuman are not mutually exclusive. They exist together. They are aligned in many ways. She told me so. Who says Hanuman doesn't want to protect the legacy of Wakanda too? If he didn't, why would he have urged you to fight for us against Killmonger or rejoin Wakanda? I don't think this is just Bast's plan... I don't know.I think it is their plan? " 

"You seemed to know a lot about Bast for someone who doesn't pray," M'Baku countered, not to be contentious but trying to understand. He still remembered their hike her first morning in Jabariland... she had said she was done with all that. 

Asha sighed, "I was. But I spoke to her, laid my frustrations and grievances at her feet and she listened, without judgement. She pushed me, challenged the things I always believed. I don't know. I stopped praying because I thought she stopped listening. But she never did, she just knew I was asking for the wrong things." 

Silence fell over them for a while before M'Baku responded, "You truly believe I was chosen for this?" 

A small smile settled on Asha's face. His tone, the look in his eyes was of a child wanting to be told he was good enough... worthy enough. Asha wondered if this was the great juxtaposition of their relationship - both grew up wanting what the other had and neither appreciated what they had. Neither thought they were chosen when their worthiness was so clear and evident in the other’s eyes. In reality, it seems they were destined for this task and perhaps destined for each other.

"Yes. I do. I know you have never felt like it but it is clear to me. Your dreams... your leadership in this tribe. Those are no coincidence. Hanuman and Bast could have chosen anyone to have that dream and wander this mountain and find these herbs. But they chose you. That means something." 

The weather was getting colder, the winds stronger, the higher they walked up the mountain. The loud winds forced their conversation to die off as it howled loudly around them. Even Asha was starting to feel the sharp bite of the cold weather. It was not enough for her to regret her choice of light clothing, her internal furnace just had to do a bit of extra work. 

The sun started to set, stealing the minimal light they had on the path. The darker it got, the more ominous the walk got as well. Not long after, snow started to fall on them, growing heavier by the second. 

"How much farther?" Asha asked quietly. 

"A few hours. But soon we won't be able to see anything with the snow. We should find shelter." 

Asha looked around wildly, incredulously. "Shelter? Where? We are on an uninhabited mountain, M'Baku. Where in Bast's name would we find shelter?"

"I d - sh!" M'Baku quickly silenced her and himself as he heard rustling in the trees by Asha. Asha had little time to think before he pushed her behind him and raised his knobkerrie. 

However, Asha was no damsel in distress, she was a fighter. She moved from behind him and summoned flames around her hands, though they struggled to stay alive due to the cold winds, ready to strike whatever came out of the forest at them. 

They both stared into the black abyss between the trees beside them. First there was nothing, the pair starting to let their guard down. But before they allowed themselves to relax too much, Asha let out a soft gasp. Where there was nothing but black, there were now two amber eyes staring back at them. 

M'Baku raised his weapon higher but Asha lowered hers, allowing the flames to cease and held his arm with her normal hand. She couldn't explain it but she knew this wasn't dangerous. Whatever the creature was, it would not hurt them. She took a step forward despite M'Baku's urgent whispers to not get too close. As she moved with bated breath, a paw emerged from the darkness, giving way to a full-grown panther slowly walking toward her. 

M'Baku stood stunned as Asha dropped to her knee before the Panther. This was a message from Bast... they were on the right track. 

The panther stared at her for a moment before turning and heading back through another set of trees. Asha immediately fell into step behind it. She felt her body tugged back by a strong grip and turned to find M'Baku looking more fearful than she had ever seen him. 

"Panthers can't survive up here. It shouldn’t be up here. What are you doing?" 

"I am following it. You have to trust me, M'Baku. You just have to," she begged him, eyes pleading with him to let her follow this animal. All the senses in her body yearned to go after it for she knew it was leading them exactly where they needed to go. 

M'Baku didn't understand why following a wild panther would help them, unless she desired a trip back to the Planes. But he knew his logical brain was simply trying to overpower the feeling in his gut that agreed with her: the panther knew the way. 

He let go of her arm and nodded, both quickly catching up to the panther who was waiting for them a few paces ahead. They followed it, snow heavily falling and winds whipping their faces for 10 minutes. Asha's resolve never wavered, this panther knew where it was going. 

Sure enough, minutes later, just as M'Baku was cementing his idea to demand they return to the path, the panther stopped in front of the mouth of a cave. It flopped down onto its belly, licking the snow melting on its limbs while Asha and M'Baku walked past it. It was dark and damp but it was shelter, a reprieve from the harsh winds and snow outside. 

They huddled inside, shielded from the winter elements outside. 

"This will do for the night. Do you want to make a fire? I can go get wood," M'Baku offered. 

Asha shook her head, sliding her backpack and sleeping bag she didn't think she would actually need off her shoulders. 

"The sleeping bag is insulated. It heats up according to your body temperature. And I can make heat if we need it. Are you cold?"  

M'Baku shook his head but couldn't hide the obvious judgement that clouded his eyes, knowing exactly what made the sleeping bag operate like that. 

"Sorry, I forgot you all distrust vibranium. I shouldn't have men-" 

He shook his head, silencing her. "It is fine, don't apologize. I suppose I must get used to vibranium if we are going to be a part of Wakanda." 

They both unrolled their sleeping bags next to each other before sliding in. Silence fell over them as they stared at the dark gray, damp walls of the cave, listened to nothing but their own breathing and the soft drops of water dripping onto the floor. 

Asha wondered if he felt it too, the urge to finally talk. She wondered if the spirits haunting this mountain were finally attacking her brain, for she had wanted nothing but to avoid this difficult conversation since she woke up this morning. But this felt like their time, their moment. 

Bast and Hanuman pulling the strings yet again, she thought to herself. 

There were no interruptions, no distractions. They had all night. They were in their element, in the mountains where the rest of the world fell away and they could be the best versions of themselves. 

Another stolen moment? she wondered. But she knew that wasn't it. This was the first interaction that didn't feel stolen, it felt as if it was designed for them... made for them.

Asha felt like so much of the last few weeks were destiny, her love for M'Baku included. Asha was in love with him, she wanted him and would choose him if he was still willing to have her. All signs pointed to that, after all, why else would he go on this journey with her? If this was truly Bast's plan, why waste her opportunity? Suddenly, she had no desire to go another night without being his if that was the path she was on. They... she wasted so much time already fighting for something that she didn't even truly want.

But first, she knew there was something she needed to say, apologize for. She rejected him, for good reasons at the time, but it was rejection nonetheless. And he was still here, still fighting for her and her family without any assurance that she wanted him in return. It was a selflessness she questioned whether she actually deserved. 

"Can I say something?" she inquired, her fear of broaching this subject evident in her voice. Thankfully, without a fire for light, it was pitch black so she knew he couldn't see it. Her question was met with silence but she took that as permission to press forward.

"I-I'm sorry."

He side-eyed her suspiciously in the darkness, not understanding what the woman beside him had to apologize for. 

"I am sorry for choosing him. I thought I had good reasons, thought it was the right choice. At the time, it felt, he felt, like the only choice. Yet, I still pursued something with you, knowing I couldn't choose you. That wasn't fair. I-It was selfish. And I am sorry." 

There was silence for a while. Her anxiety was at an all-time high as she waited with bated breath for him to say something, say anything back to her. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to hear. 

"I want to see you. Like that first night." 

It was a simple request, one that didn't need additional explaining. Asha's small hands curled into tight fists. Unlike that first night where she had little control over her body and her powers, she had grown since then. The flames instantly grew large enough to swirl themselves into a tight ball, vibrant oranges and yellows dancing in an invisible encasing. 

She pushed the ball out and it floated away from her, dancing gracefully through the darkness as it slowly illuminated the cave around them, bathing them in a soft glow. Her hands repeated the motion until the cave was filled with light and heat of her own making, sourced by a dozen balls of fire.

M'Baku stared up at them for a few minutes, just as mesmerized by them and her as he was the first time around. He watched them gently float through the air, their heat warming him in a way his sleeping bag never could. He looked over at her, illuminated by her own magic, looking like the goddess he knew her to be. 

"No it wasn't fair. But I also pursued you when I knew you were taken. That was equally selfish. But I do not want nor will I accept an apology. The path was rugged but it got us here. I wouldn't change it." 

"Except maybe the part where I almost died. I would happily change that," she added. She smiled at the belly laugh M'Baku let out at her words, which echoed throughout their makeshift shelter. His smile and laugh filled her soul in a way no else could ever have. 

"Yes, definitely that part. So the journey got us here. Where is here?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I want you. I choose you, I know that much. But everything else... what this means for us, the Jabari, Wakanda? That I don't know." 

"Why does that matter?" 

She shifted to her side, looking at his profile. 

"B-because you are the leader of your tribe, I am the princess of our country. What we do with our lives has greater implications than our happiness. You said it yourself. If our happiness had anything to do with it, we wouldn't be here. It is our duty." 

He shifted to sit up slightly, his hand reaching out to find hers, interlocking their fingers together. 

"Yes. But our lives are still our own. All the other things work out on their own. They should not stop us. They won’t stop me. I want to be with you." 

Asha smiled, "So we are really doing this? You wish to date me? A vibranium-obsessed lowlander?" she teased. 

M'Baku couldn't help but notice something else under her teasing tone, uncertainty. She still needed confirmation that he wanted her. He would give that to her every day for the rest of his days if it helped her. 

He tugged on her arm, beckoning her to join him in his over-sized sleeping bag. She slid in next to him at his prompting, warmth spreading through her in new ways as they laid skin to skin. His knuckle stroked her cheek as he stared at her for a few minutes. 

"Yes. Because I am in love with you, Asha Udaka. I have been since the moment you walked into my throne room and will be until my last breath." 

His rough thumb wiped away the tears that fell down her face. 

"I love you too," she whispered, feeling the weight of holding that in lift off her shoulders. It felt good to say it, even better to feel it freely and openly. Asha had never felt this light before... weighed down by secrets of her powers, of her family, of her love for him. In a few short weeks, she went from being crushed under the sheer weight of it to being free from them all. 

His lips quickly captured hers before she could say another word. It started out gently but soon turned desperate as the couple tried to make up for lost time, tried to cram weeks of subtle touches and looks into this moment. M'Baku quickly shifted his body weight to be on top of her, her legs instantly wrapping around his waist as they kissed. His lips made their way to her neck as his hands roamed the rest of her willing body. She let out a breathy moan as he sucked her neck and his hands massaged her thighs, inching dangerously close to her core. 

Despite her heart literally doing back flips in her body, her logical mind couldn't help but demand she pump the breaks on this lust-filled tryst in the woods. She wanted him... Bast, she wanted him more than she wanted anything in this world. He was her drug and she was officially an addict. But he would be her first and she had heard enough from Nakia and Okoye to know that the first time can come with some unpleasantness among the pleasure. It only took two days in Jabariland to know that this was not his first time. She heard the staff gossip as she moved through the Great Lodge, the Lord of Jabariland knew his way around a woman's body and had many opportunities to practice. She was somewhat embarrassed by her lack of experience compared to him. But she knew enough about him to know, if he knew, he wouldn't judge her. He would just slow things down to put her at ease and ensure she was comfortable. And she wanted that. 

"M'Baku," she breathed, pushing against his shoulders. "M'Baku, wait." It was almost painful to ask him to stop, it went against every natural urge and instinct in her body. 

He immediately stopped, his hand coming to her face to cup her cheek, his eyes instantly apologetic. He took it too far, he knew it. He had just wanted this so bad, yearned for her like no other woman in the world. But after only agreeing to date five minutes prior, he should have known she wanted to take it slow. 

"I-I am sorry, Asha. I lost my head for a minute. That was inapp-" 

She captured his lips, kissing him deeply before sucking his bottom lip and breaking it off. 

"It is not that. I enjoyed it and I want to continue. I-it is just that, I have never been with anyone before. I thought you would want to know before w-we do this." 

M'Baku sighed, the better man in him winning out as her words sunk in. Regardless of how desperately he wanted this, this was not the way. He shifted them so they were both laying on their side again. Asha looked perplexed and slightly put out, taking his abrupt ending as rejection. 

"Why did you stop? I want to." 

"I do too. But your first time... our first time together, should not be in the cold on a hard cave floor. That is not what I want for us. We have waited this long, one more day until we get back to a real bed will not kill us."

Asha sighed, partially with relief that his reasoning was not rejection. 

He chuckled before kissing her on the forehead before she settled on his chest, her own sleeping bag cold and forgotten. 

“Good night, usana. Sleep well,” he whispered. 

And she did, going to sleep truly at peace for the first time in years. 

****

A/N: I mean FINALLY! These two are finally free and ready to stop tiptoeing around each other. We love to see it! Thanks for reading! 

Tag list: @destinio1 @muse-of-mbaku @jellybean531 @skysynclair19 @ashanti-notthesinger @gloriousgam3r @archivistofwakanda @leahnicole1219 @mygirlrenee

[mistwrites]

Luffy’s U.A. Exam

Length: 1,468 words | 00:21:12 minutes Fandom: My Hero Academia, One Piece Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Characters: Monkey D. Luffy, Roronoa Zoro, Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki Tags: Crossover, Entrance Exam Arc, Crack, Humor

Luffy thinks that a test that certifies people as ready to learn how to be heroes is probably good enough to declare him strong enough for the sea.

**

Ten months ago this seemed to be an impossible dream, but now Izuku was finally here.

In the Hero Academy and about to take the entrance exam with a quirk of his own.

(Of his own? Was it really okay to think of it that way? Maybe he should-)

“Hey!” a kid greeted, interrupting his daydream before he could spiral into anxious mutterings about his situation. “Do you know what we’re supposed to do?” The kid was tiny. Scrawnier than he remembered being before his training began. He didn’t look nervous at all, though. Probably had a fairly powerful quirk, to be this confident.

“You have to find the desk with the person that hands out your information sheets,” Izuku replied. “Then you go inside and sit in the section for your school.” He had been dreading going in, knowing he’d be sitting beside Kacchan.

The kid laughed, it sounded like shishishi. “I don’t go to school,” he said, like it should be obvious.

“There’s probably a section for homeschooled kids,” Izuku frowned, the kid was already shaking his head.

“Don’t do that either,” he grinned, and it was wider than anything Izuku thought a human could manage. Doubt began to seep into him. Maybe the kid wasn’t supposed to be here and he was an actual child who snuck in? Wasn’t it illegal for people their age to not be in school? Also younger people, but- eh.

There were a couple desks, divided alphabetically. Izuku figured he could at least lead him to the right one and let them deal with him. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Monkey D. Luffy. I’m going to be the King of the Pirates!” he declared so confidently that for a second Izuku’s brain short-circuited. Running through a loop of ‘I’m in the wrong place’ and 'I didn’t know there was a Pirate King school?’ and 'How come this many people want to be Pirate King?’.

“Aren’t we taking the hero exam?” he asked reflexively. Then he forced himself to look at the paper currently in his hands, the distinct U.A. logo on it calmed him slightly.

Luffy nodded, still grinning. “If I pass this, it proves I am strong enough for the sea,” he said.

“You do know quirks don’t work when you pass the Grand Line?” he checked. Some people with quirks would leave and come back, complaining about it. Sometimes quirkless people like him flocked to the sea. Hoping that there, they would be normal.

“I ate the gum gum fruit,” Luffy said, completely unfazed. “Dunno if I had a quirk.”

A Devil Fruit.

The world was full of those rumors. A bite and your quirk was gone, replaced by a new power that was sometimes better, sometimes worse. Either way, they cost you your ability to swim. As a kid, he had also entertained those fantasies. There were people like him that claimed they would find a fruit and come back to be heroes. He had not found proof of anyone who had, though.

“Is it true you can’t stay landlocked?” he asked. There was exactly one study he had found during his search into that avenue that expanded on the paradoxical nature of the fruits. People who had eaten them would sink into water like stones, but spending too much time away from the sea weakened them in the long run. It wasn’t really a trustworthy study.

“Why’d I want to leave the sea?” Luffy asked, shooting him a look that said he thought the question itself crazy enough.

“I can’t imagine leaving the land. I… I want to be a hero.” They arrived at the welcome desks then, so Izuku looked for the appropriate one. Unlike when he had gotten his own piece of paper, there were only a few people forming lines.

“Are there some very strong villains?” Luffy asked with another of those shishishi laughs and they slotted themselves into a line. His eyes were gleaming, as if already picturing how fighting the villains would go. Izuku’s gut was torn between telling him to fight the kid, fight along the kid, and run away now.

Izuku nodded. “Yeah…”

The person at the desk motioned them forward. Izuku stood to the side while Luffy talked to them. As it turned out, the kid had no form of identification on him, his eyes even widened innocently as he asked what it even was. Somehow, he did manage to get his paper as well as directions to his seat. He gave Izuku a triumphant grin as he turned back.

“You two should hurry,” the woman at the desk called after them. “They’ll be closing the doors soon.”

This seemed to spur Luffy into a hurry.

“Thanks for the help green-hair-guy!” Luffy laughed, another shishishi sound, before setting off on a sprint to the door that would lead to the front of the auditorium.

*

The practical test was over and done with and Katsuki could still feel his skin buzzing with excitement. He was ready to crush the knowledge test just as he had crushed the robotic villains.

He ran a cursory glance around, Deku was nowhere to be found and a part of him worried as it always did, and a part of him wondered if he hopefully had finally given up. Accepted his role as a background character with no quirk, accepted that he would be protected by Katsuki, who would be the number 1 Hero.

Two guys approached, probably because he was the only one in the area who wasn’t talking to someone else. Katsuki didn’t have the experience to confidently call it, but the taller of the two stood like he could handle the three swords at his side. (Also, three swords? Did he have a third arm somewhere?) The other one looked weaker than Deku had this morning, with all his new muscles that still didn’t make up for his lack of a quirk.

“Hey! I’m Monkey D. Luffy, and I’m going to be King of the Pirates and this is Zoro, he’s going to be the strongest swordsman!” the smallest of them grinned inhumanly large, the taller one smiled fondly.

… why were they telling him that?

“I’m Bakugou and I’m going to be the Number One Hero,” he said instead, not one to be upstaged by two random guys in the wrong story.

Luffy’s smile widened even more. “I hear there’s tons of strong villains!”

“I’ll crush the heroes, too,” he said. “I’ll be the best.”

“When I’m Pirate King I can come back and fight you!” Luffy laughed, his eyes gleaming with the challenge.

“I’ll win,” Katsuki promised. He’d have to research pirates some more, but that was okay. The path to the top was long and nothing but hard work. He was used to that.

Zoro cleared his throat.

“Do you know when they’ll tell us who won today?” Luffy asked, apparently set back on track by his friend.

“You have to take the knowledge test first, dumbass,” he laughed. “Then they send the results to your house.”

“How would they know where I live? Zoro, do they know where you live?”

“I don’t live anywhere,” he said simply. A beat passed while Katsuki wondered exactly how to address the stupidity of both of them. “Guess we live on your ship now.”

Luffy laughed. “Silly Zoro. We only have a boat right now.”

“You give your address when you sign up for the exam. They use that.”

“Ohh. Gramps signed me up. I don’t know where the results go,” Luffy frowned. Then, “Wait. Did you say knowledge test? It’s not just the fight?”

“How stupid are you? Yes. We still have the written test.”

“Sounds boring. Zoro, let’s leave now.”

“Of course, Captain,” he grinned. “This way,” he turned away from any doors, and started to walk towards a window.

What the fuck?

“There’s no fucking door there,” Katsuki tried.

Zoro shot him a glare. “ I see one right there,” he pointed at the window.

Luffy was laughing. “Let’s meet again,” he promised, and continued laughing as Zoro tried and failed to open the window. “Hey, Zoro,” he said, swinging his arm in a circle, then throwing it back, and back, and back. Stretching.

Zoro turned, saw the incoming projectile that his Captain’s fist had become, and instead of moving out of the way like a sane person would, he pulled out a sword muttering a soft, “Hell no, I’m the one opening this.”

The two blows hit the window at the same time.

It never stood a chance.

Katsuki watched them jump out, still confused, but relieved it was over. A professor, some minor pro hero he couldn’t be bothered to know, came running. He was asking for answers as if Katsuki had any.

Katsuki simply laughed.

[purplesurveys]

1010

survey from diggitydoo

Have you ever felt a baby kick? Yes, when my mom was pregnant with my brother. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? I’m only wearing a duster gown; no shorts underneath. I just got it last night, actually - my mom wanted to donate clothes to victims of a recent fire incident in Manila and so she asked my sister and I to sort through our closets for clothes we were willing to give away. My sister ended up giving away a comfy-looking duster gown that she never even wore and even smelled brand new to boot. It ended up in my hands, ha. But apart from that we gave away a lot of stuff that aren’t old uniforms or costumes (which is what most people tend to ‘donate’, ugh), so we just hope they end up with people who really need them. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Last night I went on our org’s Discord server and we played Jackbox games for around an hour or so. It was my first time to socialize again after around two months and I really, really needed that moment. I even met the org’s newest roster of applicants for this semester, which was neat. :) What was the scariest moment of your life? Men terrorizing me or near-car crashes I’ve had.

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? The name is familiar, but that’s the most I know.

Pancakes or flapjacks? I guess pancakes, since I don’t even know what flapjacks are. What kind of computer are you on? It’s a laptop. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what's your favorite dish? For sure. Pork buns or minced pork with eggplant. With century egg on the side, yum. What are you usually doing at midnight? Either passed out or desperately trying to sleep because I don’t want to lose any more hours of sleep and risk being cranky for the whole of the next day. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? No. The worst thing that’s happened was being someone’s ball date (and unbeknownst to me, they apparently had feelings for me at the time) while I was already with someone. If so, how did it turn out? He figured it out by himself, which I still feel bad about. But the timing was super off and I just couldn’t find a moment to sit him down and set the record straight...ah well. It was just super complicated at the time. Give me your brief definition of love. My favorite love-related quote is “Love never says ‘I have done enough’” and for the longest time, that has been my guiding principle when it comes to it. Definitely a tad bit cheesy, but telling myself that over and over makes it easier to continue loving the people I care for and be patient with them when they’re being asses. Gab included, then and now. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? It differs for everyone but I’m a thigh girl through and through. What kind of shoes do you wear? Uh...various ones? I have sneakers, flats, heels, flip-flops, probably a couple more kinds that I can’t place at the moment. What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Resorting to physical violence. I was a kid constantly exposed to violence in my old home, and at the time I genuinely thought that’s how most things were settled or pacified. I still feel like shit about it to this day, and my backstory isn’t an excuse at all; but the past is the past and I’ve been trying to make up for it by being a much more gentle angry person in the last few years. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? Nope. Do you like the smell of coconuts? For some reason I can’t stand anything coconut (which is a damn shame considering I’m Filipino) but I love dishes with heaps of coconut milk in them, like curry. That’s the one coconut-related thing I enjoy, but otherwise I’ve never learned to appreciate the taste and smell of buko juice, coconut shavings, coconut pies, and everything else coconut. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? From what my old PE class showed me, around 70 to 80 lbs. Do you take Tums? Idk what that is so I guess I don’t. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? I’m not sure if I’ve been to a pier before. I bet it feels wonderful and freeing and I’d love to visit one; but I also can’t keep myself from associating piers with the recurring image of Jennifer Connelly’s character standing on one from Requiem for a Dream. How about under one? No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? Not sure if it was 11 or 12, but it was definitely one of those years. Do you feel that way around anyone now? Yeah, if they allowed me to see them. But I’m shut out now so I haven’t had that sensation in a while.

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? No. Do you ever sing to yourself? Sure. I’m sure most people do every once in a while. What is a sound that relaxes you? Ocean waves have never failed. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? ‘Main goal’ sounds so overwhelming; I make it a point to avoid one overarching goal and instead make little goals and plans here and there depending on where I am in life. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? Never heard of it. What is your main heritage? Filipino. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? I hate pickles. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? Mozzarella and feta are my faves, but I love cheese and am willing to be adventurous when it comes to it. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? Eh, they can stay in the sea where they can actually survive. I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to keeping fish as pets. How about a farm animal? Probably pig. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? No, and ew. What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? Haven’t been exposed to a lot of new music lately and the songs I do get to hear on the radio whenever I drive are actually pretty good. This totally doesn’t answer your question but my favorites so far have been Birthday by Disclosure, Kehlani, and Syd; and Plain by Benee, Lily Allen, and Flo Milli. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? Any Kanye song I like. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? Not wanting to go into another downward spiral. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? Extremely rarely. I only do when there’s a new slang I’m completely unfamiliar with. Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? Stupid for the most part. I find them too immature or vulgar, but that’s one of the points of the website so I guess I’m just not in their target audience lol. What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'transformation'? Uh, the Transformer robots.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? My cousins’ toy soldiers.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? Eh, a few times. If so, what did you do? I’ve been pulled to drinking sessions here and there when I really shouldn’t be drinking because I had an important test tomorrow or something else was happening the next day that was just as significant. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? Teeth, I’m pretty sure. I’ve had braces, needed a tooth extracted, gotten a cavity, and gone through a severe toothache.

Do a lot of people check you out when you're in public? Idk I never look around because being aware of it would just freak me out and make me feel like I’m naked. What is a good name for a turtle? Would depend on their personality. And this applies to all kinds of pets, at least for me. I don’t decide on their names until I have a good grasp of their attitude. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? Stereotypical Filipino mom and valley girl. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? Sure. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? I’ve only kissed one person so I’m not the best judge for this; but I always like it when my lower lip is tugged or grazed on. How many times a year do you have a family thing? This is a little vague for me. Do you mean get-togethers? Giant-ass reunions? Movie nights? Game nights?  What are the best things to put in a smoothie? I only like one kind of smoothie and it’s sold by a local joint – and I think I’ve already shared this before but that smoothie of theirs that I like has “apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk,” according to their menu. So I guess those are the best ingredients for me, ha. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? When I find something extremely delicious, yeah. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? For the most part I can’t wait to get out of suburban residential villages. I’d love to finally experience living in a condo in a super busy and active city. Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? Yes.

Are you watching your weight? Not really. I’m trying to gain pounds though, if anything. I haven’t eaten much in the last two months. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? I trust y’all with my life, so that’s one. Apart from Tumblr, the best friends I made were probably the people in the AJ/Punk fandom, back when I had a stan account on Twitter. I don’t remember most of their names now and we fizzled out pretty quickly when both parts of the ship left WWE, but I look back on that period with fondness. Those people made high school a lot easier for me. What makes your best friend your best friend? She doesn’t care whether I’m on top of the world with happiness or completely self-destructive and crying my eyes out; she has always been present. Do you have a drunk uncle? *rolls eyes* We don’t wanna open up that can of worms... Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? Nope. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? Based on personal experience and not to come off as sexist, but it’s liking wrestling. I have never met a girl in real life who has even the most remote interest in pro wrestling or can tell me who Hulk Hogan is. And the ones I’ve had discussions with - from shallow/casual to in-depth - have all been guys. Seeing girls who are into wrestling is like finding a rare Pokemon, at least in real life. What is the girliest thing you do, if you're a girl? Idk. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? Probably the spork tattoo of Josh, a crew member from Good Mythical Morning. It’s just a line tattoo. Of a spork. On his arm. But he managed to make it so goddamn fascinating lmao; and apparently, as I learned just now, it has a pretty touching backstory to it too, which makes it a million times cooler. Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? I’ve never finished any of the crafts I bought. Never finished a coloring book page much less an entire coloring book, a painting, a gem painting...it’s something I’ll have to bring my butt to do one of these days. I can’t imagine how fulfilling it would feel. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? I eat the whole thing but I honestly find Oreos too sweet and I’ve always much rather preferred Oreo-flavored stuff instead of the actual cookies.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? My mom. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? She’s fed me for 22 years and gave me an education, I guess. Though it’s something I appreciate more so than like. Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? Probably as a dumb kid, when historical context wasn’t a thing to me yet. I still wince thinking about it, but I suppose what matters is being better and more responsible moving forward. Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? Angela and to some extent Andi. 

If so, what about them do you like most? They are both understanding when it comes to me - almost to a fault. What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? When you say ‘hotdogs’ here, it refers to the sausages itself. The sandwich kind of hotdog isn’t super popular here. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? My siblings are still resting in their rooms; my dad is preparing for work, I think. What is the most money you've ever had at one time? Something like P10,000 or P15,000 when my mom needed me to pay for something in cash. How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? Idk, maybe 10 minutes. I won’t be fast, that’s for sure. Look down. What do you see? My legs and the pillow I’m sitting on. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Right now, probably my failed relationship. I haven’t gotten to the sharing stage yet and remotely thinking about it gets my voice all shaky. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? Paramore. What kind of mood were you in most of today? It’s only 7:52 AM. My only mood so far is just woke up. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? Yeah. Because people in this damn house never knock. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. The word ‘ariba.’ What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Break my trust. So simple but it packs a punch. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Idk if I’ve ever been that aggressive. When I want to do something destructive towards someone I always end up asking what it would feel like if the action was done to me, and it’s always been enough to sway me away from doing the thing. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? Sad. How about the last person (your last ex)? Same person. What is the best invention ever invented? Air conditioners.

What is something that needs to be invented? Portable air conditioners. What always makes you burp? My burps come randomly. What are you doing tomorrow? It’s my last weekend before my new job, soooooooo...I’ll be bumming around for my last two days of freedom.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Cast in a Chasm

Sequel to this fic

Word count: 3895

———————

Aragon dreamt of blood and crying and broken eggs. Her eyes eventually snapping open was both a relief and a thrill because she was out of that terror, but also because the human was awake. It— SHE was huddled in between her front talons and staring at her with wide, glossy eyes- poor scaleless thing didn’t even have second eyelids to see clearly in the water! How were they not extinct yet?

“Hello there,” Aragon said, nudging Orca in the chest with her snout.

Orca made a pitiful noise of fright and then jolted away. Aragon jumped to her feet immediately.

“Wait!”

She pounced, managing to trap Orca under her front talons. The human yelps, its yellow fur billowing around its head.

“No running.” Aragon said sternly, as if she were talking to a pet tortoise she’s once seen a Leviathan have. “Bad.”

Orca blinked up at her.

Humans must not be able to understand Leviathans, but that made sense. Aragon wasn’t sure how she was going to communicate with Orca.

She took a small step back and Orca flailed awkwardly as she began to float. Her limbs didn’t move in the right way to swim at all! Funny little thing.

Aragon looked around her room as Orca continued to drift upwards. She found a long rope of gelatin hanging from one of the hooks and picked it up. She tied it tightly around her chest and then handed the other end to Orca, who blinked at her. She points at the knot she tied and Orca seemed to understand after a moment because she began tying her piece around her chest.

“Good girl!” Aragon said, patting Orca’s head. Pride swelled within her. Her human was so smart!

Orca blinked at her curiously again. She pulled herself down the length of the rope and then stopped a few feet away when she got close enough to Aragon, anxious. Aragon held out one talon and, after a moment of hesitation, she latched onto it.

“My name is Aragon of the Seahorses,” Aragon said.

“Seahorses,” The human repeated.

Aragon perked up. “You understand me!”

“Smeeg smog smockeefee,” Orca chattered.

“Well, I’m not sure what ‘smockeefee’ means, but I’ll keep note of that.” Aragon said. She tilted her head at the human in her talon. “So you don’t speak Levia?”

“Mrrrrowrr,” Orca said, along with several other chittering noises.

“Definitely not.” Aragon reached up and set Orca on her head. “Stay up here, okay?” She can feel Orca’s tiny paws grasp tightly to her horns. She paddled over to the terrace and got a grand view of the kingdom below her tower, which was glowing in brilliant shades of blue and green and purple and pink. The hatching ceremony was already being set up, although Aragon wasn’t surprised. That was very in character for Seymour, who always wanted to be on top of things.

Orca yelped and gripped her horn tighter when she suddenly plunged off of the balcony and began gliding down to the city. She cants her wings and spiraled around the grand crystal palace until she reached the front gateway. Seymour wasn’t at her throne when she peeked in, but she did see Howard sitting beside it, for once not glued to the queen’s side.

“Where is Seymour?” Aragon asked the pup.

“In the royal hatchery,” Howard answered. “She doesn’t want anyone bothering her right now.”

Aragon looked her up and down. She wondered if Howard was jealous at all, since she was just a ward, not the queen’s actual daughter. Or maybe she was excited to get a little sibling- she couldn’t tell.

Howard fiddled with her tail before looking up. Her rose pink eyes widened.

“Is that the human?” She said.

Aragon reached up one talon to her head and felt Orca pat a claw with one of her tiny paws. She was still there.

“It is,” Aragon said. “Her name is Orca.”

“Oooo,” Howard murmured in awe. “That’s a pretty name!”

Aragon smiled proudly and was actually about to offer Howard a chance to hold the human, but then she heard a voice call out to her.

“SEAHORSE!!”

“Not again...”

Boleyn swam up to her in a whoosh, causing the water around them to spiral and twist wildly before simmering back into calmness. Cleves came with her, this time, but she crossed over in much more gentle strokes, making sure her tentacles didn’t hit any of the ancient architecture in the throne room.

“It appears you have a little monster tied to you,” Cleves observed, eyeing the harness connecting Aragon to Orca.

“It keeps her from drifting off,” Aragon informed. “This is Orca.”

“Hi, Orca!” Boleyn hovered over Aragon, waving to the human, who blinked up at her with big grey eyes before slowly raising a paw to wave back. “She’s so cute!”

“Isn’t she?” Aragon smiled, that feeling of pride swelling within her once again.

“Are you going to bring her to the celebration tonight?” Cleves asked.

“Of course.” Aragon replied. “I can’t leave her anywhere else.”

“Beemish rrrpl zob!” Orca announced.

“Oh! Oh.” Cleves tilted her head. “She doesn’t speak Levia. Why am I surprised?”

“What is a ‘beemish’?” Boleyn wondered out loud.

“No clue,” Aragon admitted. “But I’m sure I’ll learn eventually. Or she’ll learn Levia.” She looked around again, despite knowing she wouldn’t see Seymour. “Well. I’ve got to go get ready. An advisor has to look nice for this.”

Boleyn and Cleves waved as she swam through one of the branching hallways and went back up to her tower. She united herself from Orca for the time being and let the human hang onto a shelf of antique decorations.

“There’s a party today,” Aragon told her. “For the queen’s pup. They’re hatching.”

Orca blinked at her, then squinted her grey eyes. Aragon remembered that she probably couldn’t see clearly at all. It must have been uncomfortable.

Aragon looked around, then paddled over to one of her chests. She dug through it until she found a small block of sea glass. She pulled it out and heated it up at the stream of warm bubbles shooting out of the floor in one of the corners until it was soft enough to carve away with her claws. Orca watched her curiously as she formed the glass into a spectacle-like shape with closed sides that wouldn’t let water pour in. She softened the edges with clumps of algae and then strung a piece of stretchy kelp through either side. When she was finished, she handed the goggles to Orca, who turned them over curiously and then put them on. She gawked at Aragon through the glass eyes, seeing her clearly for the first time.

“Hello,” Aragon grinned. “Are they okay?” She points to the goggles and Orca nodded.

After she had her human seeing properly, she swung around to a tree carved from dark brown mahogany, which was where she kept all her jewelry. She brushed through the strands of jewels, picking up a few to hold to her scales and see which went best with her burnished color scheme. It was always hard to tell- did she want blues and greens to try and match the other Leviathans or did she want to go with warmer shades like oranges and reds?

She feels a small touch on her shoulder- Orca has swam over to her and pulls herself in front of her. She clung to one of the tree branches and squinted through the goggles at the string of rubies in Aragon’s left talon. She shook her head disapprovingly.

“No?”

“Eeemego noomobleck rubieooo,” Orca lectured her.

Aragon blinked. Orca sprung off of the branch and snatched the rubies from Aragon’s talon. She sank almost instantly, finding the jewels much heavier than she had even expecting, but she kicked her little legs and managed to hook it onto a mahogany limb. Then, she clambered up the side of the tree, observing the jewelry thoroughly before heaving off a moonstone necklace. She made a series of loud squeaks and pointed at Aragon’s right talon until she held it up. She brought the black gemstones to the golden scales, analyzed the color mix, then nodded. She set the necklace on Aragon’s talon.

“You’re good at this, huh?” Aragon smiled, winding the moonstones around her neck.

“Good?” Orca echoed in Levia. Aragon must have said it enough in the short span of time she’s been awake to have caught on on what it meant.

“Yes! Good!” Aragon said excitedly. She ruffled the fur on Orca’s head affectionately. “So smart!”

“Good,” Orca repeated proudly. She lugged a strand of emeralds into Aragon’s talon, pointed at it, and said, “Good. Noo gobbish!”

“Well, good thing I wasn’t planning on being a gobbish.” Aragon said. “Whatever that is.” She put on the shimmering green gemstones. As she does so, Orca swam to the very top of the tree, where necklaces turned to armbands and tailbands and earrings and other fancy jewelry she got because of her advisor status. She seemed to be momentarily dazzled by all the accessories before getting back on track and grabbing some matching emerald earrings, which she’s actually able to pick up easily.

“As you wish,” Aragon said as she clipped them on. “Anything else?” She gestured to the tree so Orca would know what she meant. But Orca shook her head and swam over to her shoulder to hang onto. “Very well.”

Aragon waded over to the mirror and pivoted around slowly a few times before nodding. The black and green really did highlight her golden scales.

“Good job, Orca,” Aragon praised the human. She was about to take off down to the courtyard to meet up with Cleves and Boleyn, but then she was stopped by a smaller strand of moonstones hanging on a thin branch of her jewelry tree. It was too small for an adult Leviathan, but it would fit Orca, so she plucked it up and gently wove it around her neck and shoulders.

“Perfect.” She smiled.

“Hubblesnubble.” Orca agreed.

Aragon laughed, quickly tied Orca to her again, and then set off to the ceremony.

—

The city was glowing in dazzling hues of purple and pink, green and blue, yellow and orange. The light from the bioluminescent paste and fire trapped in sea glass orbs gleamed against the crystal buildings and domes, setting them off in radiants of rainbow. Aragon hoped all the light wouldn’t blind Orca.

After sweeping past the band of Leviathans playing the queen’s favorite instruments, she found Cleves and Boleyn at a buffet table loaded with fried lobster and minced tuna and pickled shark, chatting away. Cleves was simply wearing some silver wires that wound around her thick, but short horns and circled her forehead and dark topaz wristbands, while Boleyn had strands of pearls hanging from her neck and a winding tailband on the top of her tail that was designed to look like a snake.

“There she is!” Boleyn cried when Aragon lands before them. “And you brought Orca! Hi, Orca!”

“Yeemo!” Orca waved from where she was situated on Aragon’s head.

“Haha! Yeemo to you, too!” Boleyn said enthusiastically.

“So,” Cleves began, rising out of her sitting position, which always looked so odd because of her tentacles. “What first?”

After a moment of consideration, the three of them (well, four, because Orca gave a helpful, “Zim!” in the process) decided to just swim through the festivities and see what they could find to entertain them until the hatching ceremony.

They sailed past grand glass statues and pups playing with each other and Leviathans dancing aquatic dances until they came to a quiet game pavilion. It was dressed up in fire-lit beads of amethyst and lime and azure and gold, which were braided across the underwater oceanic trees. Swathes of specially-sewn aquatic silk curtains billowed around the outside of the area, shielding it from the cold ocean currents and muffling the noise from the rest of the festival. And there, an elegantly long, but short Leviathan sat alone.

Her scales were a deep indigo color so dark they almost looked black, but there were a few markings that faded to purple in some areas. She had a prehensile tail that she was using to hang onto a piece of coral and four strange segmented wings, almost like a dragonfly. She was playing a game by herself that involved small marble pieces into increasingly complex towers. As far as lame solitary party games went, it was kind of at the top, frankly.

“Heeeey, Nautilus!”

Ice blue eyes, a bright contrast to her dark scales, glanced up at the ground as they landed. A scowl formed on her snout.

“I told you not to call me that,” Blount of the Nautiluses grumbled. “What do you want? And what is THAT?” She peered up at Orca.

“You looked lonely,” Cleves said.

“And this is Orca,” Aragon added.

“A human. Down here.” Blount said. “Wow.” She tipped her head back down to her game, but glanced up momentarily when Orca swam down from Aragon’s head. “Don’t let that thing anywhere near me.”

“Awww, don’t be like that!” Boleyn said. “She won’t hurt you!”

“I beg to differ,” Blount growled, climbing further up the piece of coral to create a distance between her and the human. “Is it your pet or something?”

“Sorta?” Aragon said, watching Orca pull herself onto one of the branches of coral, much to Blount’s dismay. “Orca, this is Blount.” Then, to Blount, “Be nice.”

Blount grumbled something and tried to resume her game. Aragon had no idea how she could always be so angry all the time. It must get exhausting.

“Oh! Oh!” Boleyn suddenly perked up. “Let’s go to the shipwreck!”

“That’s a good idea,” Aragon mused. “Orca can get air there. I’ll also have to give her a new scale.”

And so, it was settled. The four of them, including Blount because she got dragged along, swam off to the large shipwreck on the outskirts of the city.

It was a cargo ship, the break bulk kind, now submerged in the loose sand of a large, empty plateau at the bottom of a cliff face. Strangely, it had air pockets in various areas, which they weaved their way to after entering through a large gash in the metal exterior.

The area they popped their heads into opens out to a large, gently sloped storage room, illuminated by coral. There’s an open central room, with support beams forming shelves on either side. Toward the back, the floor and the shelves extend out into an air pocket. The whole floor here has been covered with a layer of rocks and sand over time.

Orca looks at the dry area with longing. Aragon unties her and she immediately begins to climb the slope eagerly. After a moment, however, she falls to the ground coughing, gasping, spitting out water. The sounds echo against the metallic hull and makes Aragon jolt in fear. She leapt out of the water, her wings slapping frantically against the surface, and thumped down onto the incline. The entire ship rocks and creaks with the sudden force.

“You bumbling whale!” Blount hissed. “Do you want this thing to come down on us?”

“Why is she doing that?” Aragon said in fright, ignoring Blount. Her talons hover Orca’s writhing form helplessly. “Is she okay?”

“She’s expelling the water she breathed in,” Cleves said, swimming over to the shallow area. “It’s normal. Don’t worry.”

At the same time, Orca gave Aragon a weak thumbs up and then returned coughing.

“Oh.” Aragon said in relief. “Thank the whales...”

It takes her a moment, but Orca is eventually back on her feet and has taken to energetically romping about the sand and gravel. When some of it drifts into her nose, she sneezes hard enough to knock herself backwards. She gave Aragon an indignant look.

“Well, stop putting sand in your nose, then.” Aragon suggested.

“Urrmgle,” Orca said before getting distracted by an adventurous crab and following after it until it disappears into a hole much too small for even her. She turns away, disappointed, but perks up quickly. “Blnnnt!!!”

The Leviathans blink at her weird squeaky exclamation, then Boleyn swung her head around to Blount.

“I think that means you.” She said.

“Awww,” Aragon cooed. “She knows your name!” She held out a talon and Orca rushed under it, nuzzling against her warm scales. “So smart!”

“How did THAT happen?” Blount exclaimed. She lashed her tail, splashing Cleves, who was settled in the shallows with her.

“I think it’s cute,” Cleves said helpfully.

“Why me?” Blount said woefully. “I don’t even like it!”

“Her.” Aragon corrected.

“Whatever.”

Blount bundled her four wings in close to herself as Orca steps into the water when she notices some small fish swimming around. She held still for a moment, jumped forward, and missed.

She whirled around, looking very confused and startled. Then, she tried again, missing even more than the first time. On the third try, she hauled her clumsy body all the way underwater and still managed to catch only sand.

Amused laughter swells through the group at the human’s attempts at catching a fish. It earns them an adorably annoyed look.

“Smurggle furgle,” Orca growled.

Eventually, Orca does manage to catch a fish, but it slips right through her claws. That couldn’t be fair!

“They’re slippery!” Aragon called from the bay.

Orca readied herself and dove again. She overestimated her speed and smashed her face directly into the sand below. She resurfaced with a sputter and then attacked again, snatching up a daring fish who got too close. Victory was short lived. The tail slapped her in the face and she dropped it. She makes a miserable noise and gives up, returning to the slope.

“We should get going,” Blount said, finally uncoiling herself. She stretched out her strange wings. “The egg will probably hatch soon.”

They all agreed. Aragon quickly gave Orca another scale to put in her mouth, and then they all set back off to the glowing city.

—

It was a boy.

The purple snout came out first, then the webbed talons, and finally the strange, butterfly-like wings opened and broke the rest of the egg. He tumbled out into the water, his gills flaring open instantly, and the audience of Leviathans gaped at how beautiful he was.

His scales are a clash of gem-like azure and shiny violet. His four wings, much too big for his tiny body, are shimmering purple and blue, as if they were sapphires and amethysts mixed together. Elegant magenta and lavender horns with royal purple tips and highlights rise from his head, and cobalt whiskers billow around his purple snout. His tail is shaped into a dolphin’s, just like his mother’s, who scoops him up into her talons.

Eddie of the Porpoises is the name that was declared. A string of pearls is laced around his long neck. He immediately put a few orbs into his mouth and made an adorable pup noise.

It absolutely sickens Aragon.

She left the ceremony without a word. Her wings beat furiously through the night tide as she tried to distance herself from all the joy and happiness and unfairness. Her mind kept replaying scenes over and over again— blood, eggshells, coldness against her palms. It all repeated nonstop.

Orca is chattering loudly on her head. She tugs at her horns and Aragon growled low in her throat. All the noise definitely isn’t helping her mounting anger. She doesn’t get a chance to snap at the human, though, because the chain net she swam right into quickly became her top priority.

Immediately, she began to struggle, but that just managed to ensnare her further. She growled in anger, lashing her tail and beating her wings furiously to no avail. The net began to rise up- she broke the surface.

It’s a ship. Smaller than the shipwreck, but definitely big, and it was filled with several chattering humans. They point to her and holler to one another in shock. She bared her teeth at them.

Arms reach down. Orca squeals. The gelatin rope connecting them is cut. Aragon roared when she realized they were taking her away.

Then, pain.

Blinding pain.

Blood burbles up Aragon’s throat. Her gills have been cut.

The pain consumed her as she began to choke.

Eggshells, fragments—

The net releases her. She began to sink. The boat speeds off as fast as it can.

Eggshells, twisted bone, tears—

Aragon sinks.

Twisted bone, bits and pieces, nothing left—

Above her, she can see the shimmering full moon high over the surface. She reaches her webbed talons up towards it. Red and black clouds of blood billow around her.

Nothing left to mourn—

She closes her eyes, and when she opens them again, she thought she could see her pups staring back down at her from the endless starry sky stretched over the ocean. Sassy Siren, little Starfish, mama’s girl Sandbar, rambunctious Undertow, bookworm Pearl, and Turtle, the king of giggles.

Eggshells, blood, the limp body of pup in one talon, the broken neck of another in the other—

They were taken from her.

And now, her one last chance at motherhood was being ripped from her again.

Aragon clenched her claws.

Blood, eggshells, her poor, helpless, dead—

No.

Not again.

Aragon took a deep breath, the water stinging in her ripped gills, then slammed her wings downward. She jetted upwards in a flurry of crimson bubbles, swimming faster and faster until she breaches the surface with a tremendous, earth-shaking roar.

The ship didn’t get far. And it was no match for a furious mother Leviathan.

Aragon crashes into the side of it with all her might. It rocks, and some humans go flying off of it, but she can hardly care. She climbs up onto the deck, screeching in anger. She swung her tail around, knocking off two more sailors, then gouged her claws into one that held a pathetic excuse for a weapon. He squirms beneath her huge talon while she snaps her jaws down on a second attacker. He struggles, too, but then she bites down and devours him whole.

Humans taste awful. Much too fatty and oily.

Aragon spots Orca with what must be the captain, or at least someone important. He has her by the necklace, choking her, and was glaring at Aragon. He yells something, but she wouldn’t care even if she could understand. He was no match for her.

Aragon sprang forward, crushing a human male into a puddle of bones and blood and organs, and closed her razor sharp teeth around the man seizing Orca. She grinds her fangs until the bottom half sticking out falls off, then swallowed the rest.

The boat begins to break, so Aragon takes Orca and flees. The water soothes her gills as she swam back to her tower and unceremoniously tumbled inside, laying on the smooth floor in a puddle of scaly limbs. Orca had been jarred free from her grasp when she fell, and she clung to one of her talons to keep from floating away. Then, she leaned forward and bumped her nose with Aragon’s.

It was as if she were saying, “I’m safe now. Safe with you.”

[savannahsdrabbles]

Ocean Song - Part Two

rating: PG summary: Marine biology student April O’Neil makes a startling discovery.

notes: An AU originally based off of the 2012 TMNT universe, but can be compatible with most versions of the characters. <3 2.8k words. A03 link can be found here. Also special thanks to @cloakedrabbit and @starfiretheninja for beta-reading!

While he considered himself fairly levelheaded, there were a lot of things that ticked Casey Jones off: The referee calling foul play when an opponent obviously deserved to be body slammed, the cafeteria workers skimping on tater tots (in no universe was four enough), and people being jerks to those who couldn’t defend themselves.

The worst feeling of all, however, was when people intentionally kept secrets from him.

From the moment April O’Neil had walked into homeroom that Monday, he could tell that she had something heavy weighing on her mind. The redhead had avoided his attention-seeking gestures and whispers throughout class, seemingly intent on doodling in her notebook and not paying the slightest amount of attention to the lecture. She rested her chin in her palm, arm forming a barrier that blocked her page from anyone who walked past. Even when Casey flicked a pencil onto her desk, her only response was to absentmindedly return the utensil and continue scribbling.

By the time lunch rolled around, Casey was nearly shaking with curiosity and frustration over the unknown. With one hand firmly gripping his sack lunch, the eighteen-year-old searched the sea of dark hair on the patio and in the cafeteria, and then finally stuck his head into the library – a first for him. Sure enough, April was tucked away at a table in the far corner of the reference section with her nose to a computer monitor and the same expression of deep thought on her face. 

“Alright, Red. Spill.” April jolted when he dragged over a chair with a deafening screech and then flopped into it. Turning his lunch bag over on the table and scattering its contents, Casey shoved an apple towards the hand she was clutching the mouse with and then picked out a peanut butter granola bar to munch on. “I can tell you’re freaking out about something. Is it homework related, or what?”

“It’s nothing,” she muttered, quickly attempting to minimize the tabs she had open on the screen – though not before Casey caught a glance of the website.

“Mysteries of the Deep: Unexplained Open Ocean Phenomena,” Casey snorted, sending a spray of granola crumbs flying, and leaned over to elbow the girl playfully. “What, are you trying to find the loch ness monster or something? Cause I’m pretty sure that’s in Canada.”

To his surprise, April let out a hiss of pain and grabbed her ribs right where Casey had poked her. The smirk on his face instantly vanished, and Casey raised his hands in surrender. “Whoa – I didn’t mean to hit so hard – my bad! Are you okay?”

April’s face tightened for a moment as if she were going to argue, her brows arching into the sassy look that Casey was used to seeing whenever he whined about how useless math was, but then she heaved a sigh and dropped her hand from her side. The girl motioned for Casey to quiet down, and then stood up quickly to peer over the row of computers around them. Once she seemed satisfied that no one was nearby, the redhead relented. “I got attacked when I was diving last night.”

“Wait – what?!” Casey nearly inhaled his granola bar and had to pause for a moment to cough violently. “By what? A fish? Or one of the other divers?”

“Shhh!” the librarian hissed from across the room.

“Don’t freak out – I’m fine.” April waved a hand dismissively, and then launched into a whispered explanation of what had happened. Casey listened with a furrowed brow, constantly interjecting with questions and April constantly hissing at him to quiet down and listen so that they would not be overheard. “He’s at Hamato Labs right now – probably still on constant sedation watch until they decide what to do with him. Dad wanted me to just go back to school today like nothing had happened, but –”

“You keep calling it a ‘him’. Did you get a look at –”

“Ew – no, Casey! Gross!” April let out a muffled shriek of indignation and punched the boy in the shoulder, though her quivering lips betrayed the hint of a smirk that Casey instantly decided was worth the shoulder pain. “I could just TELL that it was a ‘he’. He gave off a ‘guy’ vibe, I don’t know. And maybe the other one, too – though I didn’t get as good of a look at him.”

Casey seemed to calm down at this, as he leaned back in his chair with a grin and kicked his legs up onto the table – which April quickly shoved off with a jerk of her head towards the librarian’s desk. “Alright, so what’s going to happen to ‘him’ now? Or wait – do you get to name him as a new species or something? Like the ‘genus turtle-us, April-us’, or whatever?”

April shrugged, her fingers tapping unconsciously on the notebook that Casey finally realized was in her lap. The spiral bound pages bore dozens of doodles from throughout the day, all bearing features of turtles with cartoonish expressions. Several words had been written and crossed out in the margins, which Casey read aloud.

“Raph-ale? Donatello?”

The girl snapped her notebook shut with a ‘PAP!’ seeming to just notice that he had been looking at it. “Art history homework – another college course. Anyway, I should probably get back to class now. Thanks for letting me ramble – it’s just a really weird situation and I’m actually kind of glad to talk about it with someone that isn’t another scientist.”

“Well, I am definitely not a scientist, so no problem,” Casey flashed a thumbs up as April began to gather her belongings. “So, when do I get to see him?”

April froze, her hands hovering over her backpack. “Excuse me?”

The boy lifted his head to double check that they were alone, and then leaned closer to April. “You tell me all about some bizarre-o turtle man that might end up being on National Geographic or something, and then you won’t let me see it? That’s pretty low, dude.”

“It’s not that I’m against you seeing him – it’s just that I’m more than likely not even supposed to be mentioning the fact of his existence to anyone outside of the research team. Any number of hippie organizations or other laboratories would spring at the chance to claim him. Besides – if we determine that whatever made him like this is the source of an imminent biological or ecological threat, the lab is going to want to keep it out of the public eye until they’ve discovered a solution.”

“C’mon!” Casey slung an arm over April’s shoulder to keep her from standing up and leaving the table. “I won’t tell anyone! I promise – I just want to get a quick peek! It’s not every day that a kaiju saves your girlfriend – ”

“I am in no way, shape or form your girlfriend, and if you ever say that again I will punch you in the throat.”

“- from a squid! Come on – please?” Casey clasped his hands in a praying position and stuck out his bottom lip. “Please please please please please – I won’t stop until you say yes – please?”

April observed him for a moment with an expression of disgust, and then let out a deep sigh, earning a whoop of approval and a loud ‘Shhhhh!’ from the direction of the librarian’s desk. “Fine. I’m heading back to the lab after school anyway. You drive, and I’ll get my dad to sign off on letting you in with me.”

“Alright, all aboard the Jonesmobile, woo woo – ow! Why did you hit me?!”

***

The rest of the day went off without a hitch – though April would be the first to admit that she was less than focused during class. All she could think about was her interaction with the turtle, and the bubbling feeling in her stomach that occurred when she considered the fact that she would get to see him again that afternoon. Casey showed signs of distraction as well – though that was fairly normal for him. April made a mental note to ensure that he was getting his homework done and turned in.

When the last bell finally rang, the two teenagers hurried out to Casey’s old Jeep and gunned it to Hamato Laboratories. A quick knock on Dr. O’Neil’s door with no response told them that he was tied up on the phone, so the two decided to head towards the labs anyway.

“I don’t think they’ll let you into the actual exam room without my dad present, but you’ll probably be able to at least look through the glass,” April explained as the two rode the elevator down to the lower floors. Several marine biologists and lab technicians passed them on their way down, each stopping to ensure that April was doing well after the incident the day before.

“Didn’t you say he’d probably be unconscious or sedated or whatever?” Casey asked. He looked thoroughly out of place in the sleek laboratory building, all skinny jeans and beat up hoodie in contrast to the white lab coats and slacks worn by almost everyone they passed. Even April had grabbed her monogramed coat from the locker area before boarding the elevator and had thrown her hair up into a bun. Despite this, the eighteen-year-old still carried himself with an air of utter ease and confidence that April couldn’t help but respect. “Is that because he hurt you?”

April hesitated before answering. “Not specifically? It’s typically a standard procedure to sedate larger animals – particularly if they’re not reacting well to the lab environment. That way if they lash out, they’re less likely to hurt themselves or anyone else. But I could tell that he wasn’t trying to hurt me yesterday – it was just an accident.” She rubbed a hand on her side and grimaced slightly as her fingertips traced the tender bruises. “Unfortunately, it wasn’t easy explaining that to my dad. He still thinks that I was freaking out and imagined a lot of what I saw and felt.”

“How can you be sure that you didn’t?”

April’s eyes snapped to Casey’s as the elevator let out a ‘ping’ to alert them that they were nearing the correct floor. “Excuse me?”

Casey shrugged. “Nothing against you, but while this thing is cool and big and stuff, isn’t it possible that you kind of hallucinated him being… human-ish? I mean – maybe it didn’t really know that it was helping you?”

“No. He knew that he was helping me.” The words she spoke swelled with utter confidence that dimmed Casey’s doubts. “I just know it. You’ll see.”

Right as the words left her mouth, the elevator doors opened into a stark white hallway offset by the dark cement floor beneath it. Pipes and power lines ran the length of the ceiling in either direction, the whirring that they produced being the only sound in the otherwise quiet hallway. As the duo stepped out of the elevator, the motion activated lights immediately kicked on and flooded the halls with a dim light. A dozen heavy doors lined the walls, each accompanied by a keycard lock and a glass window to allow observation from outside. At the very end of the hallway, a large set of double doors beneath a glowing ‘Exit’ sign signaled the entrance to the garage through which creatures were delivered.

“Welp. I’m pretty sure we are going to get murdered in this hallway.”

April snorted and grabbed for Casey’s wrist, dragging him down the hallway towards Exam Room D. “C’mon, don’t be a baby.”

“I’m not. This… just looks like a hallway that someone in Saw would get murdered in.”

“Wuss.”

***

Despite her words of reassurance, April couldn’t help but feel on edge as well. She had grown up visiting labs with her dad and following him around as he worked. The smells of antiseptic and metallic surfaces were woven through her earliest memories, combined with days spent happily watching fish moving about in their tanks as her father helped to rehabilitate everything from enormous seals to tiny starfish. Such laboratories were what inspired her love of science and biology, and had always served as a safe place in her memories.

But even as she swiped her keycard and pushed open the door to the correct exam room, her recently donned lab coat rustling quietly around her, she could tell that something was very… off.

Casey stuck close behind, the warning of staying by the observation window clearly forgotten – or ignored - as the two walked hesitantly into the dimly lit room. April noticed that the main lights had been turned off – not unusual for when researchers dealt with deep sea or photosensitive creatures – and the only light being offered was from the panels that hung around the examination tables and over the door that led out to the loading dock. Filtered water gurgled in several tanks around the room, adding to the illusion that the room might have been located underwater or someplace hidden away from the rest of the world.

“Dude,” Casey murmured quietly. “I didn’t expect this place to be so creepy.”

“It’s not, usually,” April felt a palm along the white walls until she found the light dimmer and adjusted it just enough that they had a bit more light.

“Holy crap. You weren’t joking about how big he is.”

A large glass cage, usually reserved for seals, stood in one corner of the room. The bottom of the cage had been lined with a layer of sand, which had apparently been kicked up by the creature quietly whining and shifting inside of it.

The turtle within was currently laying on its side with his armored back to the two teenagers and one leg stretched at an uncomfortable angle as it seemed to be attempting to pull itself completely into the far corner of the container. A closer look told them that the turtle had been shackled, a large iron chain around its left leg prohibiting him from crawling into his shell.

“Yeah – he actually seems smaller than I remembered…” The red head hesitantly took a step forward, eyes watching as the turtle took a shuddering breath and twitched. He didn’t seem to have noticed their arrival yet – proving the recent sedative to be quite effective. “When he was moving around in the water I could have sworn he was taller than I was, but now he doesn’t even look five feet tall!”

“Tall or not, he looks kinda dead,” Casey suddenly strode forward to stand beside April and pressed one hand to the glass, tapping lightly with his knuckle. “Wake up, dude!”

“I doubt that will do anything, Casey – he’s really drugged up at the mo-”

As if on cue, the turtle jerked in its sleep and flailed momentarily in the sand, eliciting quiet shrieks of surprise from the two observers. They both leapt backwards as the turtle rolled itself onto all fours, limbs still trembling from sleep and head shaking this way and that as the creature attempted to orient itself. There was a moment of silence as he seemed to suddenly remember his predicament, and then the turtle caught sight of April and Casey.

Eyes shrinking to pinpricks, the turtle let out a squawk of terror and scrabbled backwards on his hands and rear end until the chain grew taut and he couldn’t retreat any further, chest heaving and eyes flicking in every direction as he searched for a way out. With a jolt, April watched as the turtle threw his body sideways against the glass and clawed at the walls. The laboratory room echoed with sounds of distress as the creature began to click and squawk frantically.

“Uh – do we need to go get somebody?” the dark-haired boy pressed both hands to his ears and furrowed his brow. “’Cause he doesn’t seem to be very happy about being in there!”

“We should probably get one of the lab technicians to administer another dose of sedative,” April nodded her head back towards the door, though her eyes remained on the turtle. The creature was still clicking loudly as it balled its hands into fists and beat them against the glass. “The walls should be strong enough to hold him, but he might hurt himself if he keeps freaking out!”

“Sounds good to me!”

The girl motioned for Casey to follow her, backing slowly away from the turtle and reaching out for the door handle. As they backed away, the noise seemed to falter and then suddenly -

“Help!”

April froze, her hand inches from the doorknob, and then turned to meet Casey’s round brown orbs. “Did you-?”

“Help!”

The two stared at each other silently for a heartbeat, and then slowly turned to face the panting terrapin. The creature’s amber eyes had tracked them across the room, and now locked onto April’s own eyes with an intensity she had never seen before.

“Crap,” Casey murmured under his breath. “What did you - ?”

“Tasukete kudasai!” The turtle pressed his trembling palms against the glass, eyes round and searching as they moved to meet Casey’s. “Help! Out!”

Next Chapter

[blue-lions-baby]

After Hours (F!Byleth x Dimitri)

(a/n) hi so this is my first time writing a dimileth fanfic! i do apologize if he (or any other character, for that matter) is a bit out of character though ^^’. please enjoy!

*this takes place pre-time skip

~*~

Dimitri brandished the wooden lance that he gripped with monstrous ferocity as he lunged forward, flying at the enemy he construed in his head. His ankle twisted slightly and he sharply exhaled through gritted teeth; that would swell up for sure.

“No matter!” He thought to himself. “If this were the real thing, I wouldn’t have time to check on a mere sprain. Again!”

He gave another thrust, the tip of his spear cutting only the empty space that surrounded him. He could see the enemy coming from all sides-- they were closing in on him! Cooly, he flicked his arm to and fro, moving his arm with such ruthless vigor he could almost feel their metal armor denting and splintering under his supernatural strength. He rolled to the left, backstepped, jumped to the right, and finally swung his whole body a complete 180 to finish off the rogue sneaking up behind him. However, in place of the rogue he saw his belov-- er... His professor.

“O-Oh, uh, Professor! What are you doing here so late at night?”

Byleth did not respond at first, simply gazing at him with that same indifferent expression pretty much plastered on her face at all times.

“You lean forward too much.” She said abruptly.

“... I beg your pardon?”

“When you lunge like that, you can spear right through whoever’s in front of you, yes. But you lose your center of balance doing so.” She motioned slightly to Dimitri’s ankle. She saw that too?

“I... suppose you’re right.” The slightly baffled prince muttered. Byleth reached out her hand.

“May I?”

“O-Of course.”

Dimitri handed her the lance; sometime during this exchange though, his fingers accidentally grazed the calloused part of her knuckles. A shock jolted from the point of contact throughout the rest of his body and he quickly stepped back, silently cursing himself for almost losing his composure over the mere action of grazing against her skin.

“Now then,” Byleth got into a fighting stance, “the trick is to extend your arm like this. Don’t work for your weapon. Make it work for you. You tell it where to go, who and how to cut, and it will do it for you. But you have to make sure you do it properly, or else you will put yourself or others at risk.”

Dimitri stroked his chin and nodded deeply, pondering over his teacher’s advice with great thought.

“I see now. Thank you, Professor. You’re as helpful as always.”

Byleth handed him his lance (admittedly, the prince was a tad disappointed when their fingers didn’t touch) and instructed him to run some drills. Byleth took a few steps back and commenced his private training.

“Not quite. Stretch it like this, see?”

“Once more, Dimitri.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

Several grueling minutes ticked by and Dimitri could feel his limit was nigh. Both his arms screamed and pleaded for rest, and his shoulder cricked and popped every time he lifted his spear higher than his waist. The ankle that he sprained earlier had come back to haunt him; every plunge, every sidestep aggravated his injury further and he could only pray to the Goddess that he didn’t seriously injure it at this point.

The poor prince was worked to the bone and, pushed beyond his threshold, perceived his professor’s quiet grunt of approval as nothing short of the herald of angels announcing his salvation. With the grace of a goose with two left feet, he buckled and collapsed to the left of Byleth.

“Are you okay, Dimitri?”

One large gasp for air later, he flashed her a courteous smile and waved her off.

“I-I’m... fine... just a-a bit... winded...”

Byleth giggled and-- wait, giggled? Did he just hear his companion... laugh? With his pulse’s thumps roaring in his ears, perhaps he mistook a grunt or hum as a breathy chortle. He couldn’t truly be certain but...

He sloppily ran his hand through his dripping locks and cast a sideglance at his normally expressionless teacher who, much to his shock, was staring right at him with the softest eyes he’d ever seen on a woman. His breath snagged in his throat and his heart felt like it was about to burst.

Those frigid, ocean-blue eyes whose unintentionally sharp glares could pierce through steel beheld warmth and tenderness that rivaled even the nurturing glow of the sun. The torches strewn about the room cast a gentle glow on her features, softening the typically taut blankness that became the hallmark of her character into something... caring, and downright--

“Beautiful...” Dimitri whispered lucidly.

“Pardon?”

“Huh?” Then it hit him like a brick. He cursed at how pale his skin was, for the slightest flush or blush could easily be read as a giant, red banner, practically screaming, ‘Hey! Look how embarrassed I am! I am very much overwhelmed, which is why my cheeks are as red as a beet!’

“I-- Um--” While Dimitri fumbled for anything coherent, Byleth only stared at him with empty, hollow eyes. Hoping (and trying to believe with all his might) that his professor didn’t hear his accidental blip, he was able to grasp enough of his scattered thoughts to form a comprehensible sentence.

“The night!” He exclaimed, almost too excitedly. “The night is, er, beautiful...”

Not as comprehensible as he was hoping it to be. Byleth’s brows twitched and furrowed deeply; she nodded slowly and averted her gaze towards the floor.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

At this point, Dimitri was praying to the Goddess to have pity on him and his social blunders, begging for her to just open up the Earth and swallow him from where he sat. He cleared his throat and thumbed the surface of his lance. A weird silence filled the room; it wasn’t awkward, no, but it wasn’t comfortable either. Dimitri was practically itching for some noise to fill the void, but he wasn’t expecting much out of his stoic companion.

“Dimitri.” Byleth began. If Dimitri wasn’t half-dead from training, he’d have jumped right out of his skin no doubt.

“Yes, Professor?” He managed to get out.

“It’s not like you to be out past curfew. Why are you up so late?” She asked him, her voice barely above a whisper. Dimitri turned to meet her face, but her gaze was transfixed to the opposite side of the room. Dimitri let out a small sigh and stared ahead.

“Well, I can ask you the same thing, Professor. What are you doing, roaming the academy grounds after dark?”

Byleth remained silent; a worrying sensation started bogging down his thoughts. Perhaps he had overstepped his bounds as a student? What his professor did in her spare time should be of no concern to him. Besides, she could just be patrolling the grounds for rebellious students like him, sneaking off after curfew. Goddess, what was he--

“I,” Byleth started slowly, “couldn’t sleep.”

Dimitri paused for a moment, then let out a hoarse chuckle. His head lazily lolled back as he entered a staring contest with the cracked and weathered ceiling above them.

“Heh. I suppose that makes the two of us.”

Byleth turned to him but this time, it was he that was looking away. His eyes fluttered shut and he rolled his head forward.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind these past few weeks.” He continued tactfully. Although he wasn’t looking directly at her, he could see her head bob up and down thoughtfully; a nod in quiet understanding.

“Is everything all right?” She inquired further. Dimitri’s cheeks flushed red and his heart quickened, adrenaline soaking into his bloodstream. The walls guarding his heart hardened as he flipped and dissected that simple question over and over in his head. He must be careful now.

“Yes.” He said at last. “No need to trouble yourself over such trivial matters.”

“Well, if it’s bothering my student to the point where he’s losing sleep, then surely it must be of great importance.” She replied gently, shifting a hair closer to the male. Dimitri made no sound, no motion, as he found no quip to her insightful remark.

“Really, it is of no cause for concern.” He reassured her while also trying to reassure himself. He could feel the blood surging to his temples, transforming the steady, war drum-like poundings into fitful, uneven patterings of a snare drum. “Please... Let’s move on from this topic.”

“Dimitri--”

“For Goddess’ sake, just drop it already!” Dimitri roared, shooting up like a madman. His demented eyes swam fiercely and a certain streak of bloodlust glinted his darkening hues.

It felt like someone was trying to split his head open with a mallet; the voices he’s been trying to bury deep, deep within him leaked out of the cracks of his slowly chipping sanity. He buried his head in his hands and fell backward onto a rack of equipment, strewing the wooden and rusty training weapons all over the floor.

Stop.

“You must avenge us, Dimitri.”

I will, just please stop!

“Never forget the Tragedy of Duscur, Dimitri!”

I won’t! Please--

I’ll-- I’ll--

“Kill the filthy vermins that killed us!!!”

“Dimitri!”

“WHAT?!”

Smack!

Stinging, painful, numbing, stinging... Stinging...

“Dimitri!” Byleth locked either hand on his shoulders and shook the dazed man as hard as she could. “Get a hold of yourself! Dimitri!”

His eyes were still swimming. Swimming, swimming in a sea of madness and fury. The coolness of his bright icy eyes was melting with malice and hate; the rest of his countenance darkened as quickly as his spiraling descent into rabid rage. In a blind effort to save him-- her most cherished pupil, her trustful confidante, her anchor in the storm-- she pulled him into a tight embrace and soothed his unkempt locks like a forlorn lover would her quickly expiring partner.

She brought her lips closer to his ear and shushed softly, steadily rocking him away from the teetering edge of insanity to the security and warmth of her arms. She ran and dug her knuckles into his back, easing the tension out of knots woven too tightly from untold burdens. While she busied her hands, she purred sweet, little tunes Jeralt used to hum to her as a baby whenever she started fussing. Although she wasn’t very confident in her singing abilities, she could only hope her mediocre voice would reach the heart of the one she held dearest in her soul.

Slowly, slowly, slowly, his breathing slackened to a more regular rhythm. His eyes lost their fitful glower and took up an empty, passive gaze into nothingness. His palpating heart was the last to return to normal, but when it did, it beat in heartfelt unison with Byleth-- the woman whose locked arms shielded him from the ensnaring, grasping hands of his inner demons.

He melted into his Professor’s loving touches, reveling at how good her knuckles felt as they probed small circles into his back, how her digits patiently untangled every sweaty knot in his matted hair. And lastly, her voice. Goddess, her voice. It fluttered along the fluctuating notes with the clarity and sweetness of a bird, whose first chirp introduced the prelude of springtime.

Suddenly she stopped, pulling away just enough to look at him completely.

“Do you feel better now?”

“I...” He slumped forward and nestled his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her crisp, clean scent. “I’m so... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Professor, I...”

He clenched his jaw to muffle his sobs, but he could not hide the wet properties of his tears. She skimmed her fingers along the length of his back, up, down, up, down... Once again, Dimitri was placed right back under his beloved’s soothing hexes and he eventually quieted down. Byleth tucked some loose strands behind his ear and paused for a moment, thinking carefully of what she was going to say.

“I’m sorry.”

“...Unh?”

“I’m sorry for pushing you like that. I shouldn’t have forced you to open up if you weren’t comfortable, so... I’m sorry.”

“... No.” Dimitri pulled away and-- in an act of newfound bravery or long-dormant foolishness, he knew not-- reached up and cupped Byleth’s warm cheek with his hand. “It is not your fault, I... You were just trying to help. I appreciate it, truly.”

Dimitri did not fully realize where his hand was until he felt Byleth nestle her cheek further into his palm. The prince’s breath snagged in his throat and his chest ached pleadingly-- longingly-- to hold her forever in his arms. Curse this student-professor relation! If only he’d have met her after he graduated when he was free from the prying eyes of his peers and probing professors.

But... He was a prince. He was Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, crown prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerhgus. Would he ever truly be free to love someone like her? Byleth was placid, cool, and resourceful. She possessed extraordinary tactical abilities, her military wisdom rivaling battle-weathered veterans who were twice her age. She was also a mercenary... A sword-for-hire. Granted, a mercenary-turned-professor, but she was not of noble birth. Her lineage wasn’t embellished with decorated war veterans nor did it contain traces of aristocracy (as far as he knew, though Byleth was probably uncertain herself). But... He loved her. Goddess, he loved her. He has never loved a woman so much in his life. Not like this, at least.

Byleth’s pleased sigh interrupted Dimitri’s soliloquy and he froze, stiff realization slowly dawning on him. Before he had a chance to pull away in the name of proper social conduct, the clattering sound of boots against cobblestones hurriedly making their way towards them sent both of them in a frenzy. In a flurry of tangled limbs, they were up on their feet just before Seteth came tumbling in.

“Professor! What are you doing here with Prince Dimitri? And why are all the weapons scattered about?!” He exclaimed, clearly out of breath. Byleth opened her mouth to speak, but Seteth waved her off. “Never mind that. Lady Rhea needs to speak with you immediately. Please escort the prince back to his room before you come. I have to find Catherine as well...”

And as quickly as he appeared he was gone, melting into the thick, dark veil of night.

An air of stiffness settled in the room, and either party refused to meet the other’s eye. Dimitri scooted away and proceeded to pick up and mount all the weapons he had disheveled in his delirium. Byleth remained immobile, staring deeply at the ground in ponderous thought. Dimitri’s own thoughts were put on hold as his hands neatly filed the weapons back into place without much cognition.

“Shall we go, Professor?” He asked, quickly double-checking to make sure everything was in tidy order.

“.. Yes.” There was a second-long delay in her response that would have been imperceptible to anyone else, but definitely not to the already on-edge prince. He nodded curtly and proceeded to follow his professor out of the training room. A ghastly wind howled down the corridors as they walked, and Dimitri felt a ghostly chill slink down his spine. He glimpsed over at Byleth, who still remained unfazed as ever. Dimitri wrung his hands restlessly and cleared his throat.

“Er... Professor...?”

“Mn?”

“About what happened earlier...” Dimitri paused, waited for Byleth to give her input on the matter, but continued when she said nothing. “I’d like to deeply apologize for my behavior tonight. It was grossly inappropriate of me and... It will not happen again.”

Dimitri’s heart quivered painfully at the last phrase and he looked down; Byleth glanced the other way, hoping to hide the sorrowful glisten in her eyes.

“It’s okay. Are you feeling better now?” She asked, continuing to stare at the wall.

“Yes, tons! You have truly helped me-- us, a lot, both in and out of the classroom. I think I can speak for all of my peers when I say that we sincerely appreciate everything that you’ve done for us.”

“O-Oh,” A hot blush crept onto Byleth’s cheeks, “thank you, Dimitri.”

The young prince stole a quick peek at the shorter woman and his heart nearly burst out of his chest when he saw a faint pink dusting her face.

“Oh? Professor, is that a blush I see?”

“D-Dimitri..” Byleth buried her face in her palms while Dimitri let out a hearty laugh. Alas, before long the duo found themselves in front of the Kingdom royal’s door.

“Thank you for escorting me back to my room... And also for that impromptu training session.” And... for reeling me out of the depths of madness.

Byleth shook her head. “It was nothing. Have a good night, Dimitri.” 

She turned to leave and her figure quickly disappeared into the lightless hallway.

No, wait... Professor, please--

“Don’t go...” Dimitri’s heart sank to the floor and he immediately wanted to cast himself into the sea. That wasn’t supposed to come out. That wasn’t supposed to come out. That wasn’t supposed to come ou-- Oh Goddess, now she’s walking back!

“Pardon? I didn’t get that...”

“N-Nothing!” The top part of Dimitri’s body practically flew down in a deep, quick bow. “Goodnight my lo-- uh, Professor!”

Before Byleth could even blink, the wood of Dimitri’s door was all that was left of the prince, along with the loud bang that typically followed doors that were unceremoniously shut. She heard some students-- who were most likely rudely awoken by Dimitri’s door-- rustling in their rooms; Byleth scurried down the long hallway. It probably wouldn’t look too great on her part to be caught hanging around student dormitories at such a bizarre hour.

As she jogged out of the building and into the courtyard, she glanced up at the breathtaking nightly landscape of Garreg Mach. She cherished this moment, this academy, these students, and her fellow professors more than she ever thought she could. An image of Dimitri bubbled to the forefront of her mind and she let out a small giggle-- a rarity for the Ashen Demon.

“Goodnight, Dimi.”

[mythiica]

Reader x Giles Christophe - A Lesson on the Human Body

Title: A Lesson on the Human Body

Fandom: Midnight Cinderella

Character: Giles Christophe

Genre: smutty smut

Warnings: ;)

Kinks: agoraphilia (sex in public places), body praise + worship, orgasm control + denial, edging, hair pulling, humiliation, desk sex,  

Intended Gender Audience: Female audience

Word Count: 2395 words

Other comments: slight au? Like i reference a physician that actually existed and is in a different universe than midcin, but shshsh enjoy the porn; also @xathia-89 here you go xD have fun!

When Giles slams the textbooks onto the table, you nearly jump out of your chair like a scared cat. The sudden noise echoes throughout the library, making your heart lurch out of your chest. You look up at your tutor with a distasteful pout.

          “Having a nice nap?” he inquires as he opens the book and flips to a new chapter. “You still have lessons today. Had you not been up so late yesterday with Leo and Alyn, you would have gotten a proper night’s sleep and would not be slacking off now.” Giles voice is not particularly harsh – in fact, you believe he is teasing you more than he is scolding you.

         “I was having a nice nap, thank you very much! And I was only helping them organize things.”

         Giles flips a page and nods his head without looking up at you.

         Of course he doesn’t believe you.

         When you cross your arms over your chest and lean back, Giles turns the book around and prompts you to read. There is a detailed diagram of organs in the human body and it is accompanied with labels and descriptions. “I thought we were reviewing history today?”

         He clicks his tongue. “You might find this more interesting, actually,” Giles retorts before picking up a quill. “Read it aloud.”

         Groaning, you rake your fingers through your hair and begin to read the paragraph. The small font makes the words blur together, causing you to occasionally stumble over syllables. Upon mispronouncing a word, Giles raises an eyebrow at you.

         “I don’t know how to say it.”

         “Sound it out.”

         “I’m not a child! I don’t need to sound it out.” You huff and try to calm down as you cheeks are now flushed. “It’s a name, and I don’t know what the a with two dots means.”

         Giles stands up and walks around the table, his heels clicking against the wooden floors. “Gräfenberg,” he dictates, the sound rolling off of his tongue. “The a with two dots is called an umlaut. They are specific to a certain language.” When Giles leans over your shoulder, you can smell faint traces of his cologne lingering on his collar. “Normally, you would pronounce it as ‘a’, but the dots make it pronounced like you would a flat e. Understand?”

         When his hair falls over his shoulder, it brushes against your neck. Your breath catches in the back of your throat and you nod your head.

         “Keep reading.”

         You expect him to return to his seat, but instead, Giles stays put to monitor you. After flipping the page, he seems to get closer, almost like he’s scrutinizing over every single word your pronounce. So you pause and turn your head to look at him. When you do, you nearly bump your nose against his neck – that’s how close he is.

         “Must you peer over my shoulder so intensely like that?”

         Giles looks at you from the corner of his eye, and the corners of his mouth curl upwards into a smile. “I’m simply testing a hypothesis of my own.”

         “Oh?”

         He reels back and turns the page for you. “Did I say you could stop reading? At this rate, we’ll be here for a few days just getting through his lesson.”

         Rolling your eyes, you glance at the new paragraph. “Reproductive system?! Why am I reading about this?!”

         Giles laughs. “Clearly you were not paying proper attention to the previous sections if you’re only now realizing the topic at hand.”

         “I-I don’t understand,” you confess.

         His hand lands on the arm of your chair, and he turns it around. The feet of the chair scrape against the floor as you are spun around. Your nose nearly touches his as he presses his forehead against yours. Giles’ breath lingers on your skin and sends goosebumps down your arms.

         “Giles?”

         “What do you not understand?”

         Your lip trembles with anticipation. “Why are we reviewing this?”

         His hand lands on your thigh and his fingers strum against the skirt of your dress. “Why ever not? It is part of the designed curriculum for you. And, as princess, you should be able to handle it. Unless they were mistaken in choosing you-” he teases.

         “No!”

         “Are you raising your voice at me?”

         You bow your head meekly. “Sorry.”

         Giles catches your chin and tips your head up. “Back to the lesson. Do you know what Gräfenberg discovered?”

         Shaking your head, you try to peek over your shoulder to try to find the answer in the textbook, but Giles slams it shut. “I will take that as a no then.” He tucks a few stray strandsof hair behind your ear and pulls your legs apart before wedging himself between your thighs. “Do you care to learn?”

         Swallowing hard, you manage to mumble, “Yes.” Your blood boils with arousal as his aura shifts from teasing to lustful. Although he keeps his appearance composed, you can tell that he has other motives.

         Despite this, you don’t expect his lips to land on your neck. Suddenly, he’s kissing your skin with a passion you didn’t fully realize he had. Giles slips down to his knees as his hand lingers on the back of your neck. When he leans back, a string of saliva keeps you connected. “So you plan to stay awake for this?”

         “Y-Yes, Gil-”

         “Professor.”

         You balk at him, unaware he had a thing for name calling. “Professor…”

         “Good girl,” he purrs as his hand goes up your skirt. The tips of his fingers brush over the inside of your thighs and sends electric pulses throughout your body. Inhaling sharply, you spread you legs apart further as to allow him better access.

         “Gräfenberg was a physician that specialized in many things. Among his discoveries, he created a special type of contraceptive that proved to be very effective.” Giles’ voice is low and steady, enticing you as you listen to his words. “He is most famous for finding a particular spot that will make you unravel quickly.”

         His fingers prod at your entrance, coaxing a surprised yelp from your lips. “Professor!”

         Giles leans forward and pulls your leg over his raised knee. “Hm?”

         Slinging your arms over his shoulders, you pull him into a kiss that catches him off guard. Despite this, Giles pushes his tongue into your mouth and his fingers past the satin of your undergarments. His fingers enter you in a swift motion, claiming any thoughts that might have been running around in your mind. Arching your back against him, you break away from the kiss and look down, only to be disappointed because the fabric of your dress is obscuring your view.

         Chuckling, Giles kisses the corner of your mouth before trailing his lips down your jawline and neck. “Curious, aren’t you? You want to watch as I stretch you?”

         When you whine, Giles silences you with another kiss and continues to pump in and out of you. As you grow closer to your edge, you lean your head back onto the table as moans drip from your mouth without realizing it. You are tempted to scream profanities, but suddenly, you remember that you are in the library.

         “G-Giles-”

         “(Y/n).”

         “Giles, we’re–ahh!” He curls his fingers and rubs a spot that sends your toes curling. The tension builds up in your abdomen and threatens to release. “We’re in the library!” you manage to say before you cover your mouth as to keep yourself from being too loud.

         “What an interesting observation~ That we are. Best you try and keep quiet then. Our lesson is not over-” Giles kisses the sensitive spot behind your ear, sending you into a moaning mess. Even with your hand over your mouth, he can still hear the beautiful sounds you make. “This is the spot he discovered. It’s named after him – the g-spot. Isn’t that interesting?”

         You crane your neck to the side and mewl for him. “I-I’m going to cum!” Your legs tremble with euphoria when he scissors his fingers inside of you, but before you have a chance to go over your edge, Giles pulls away. He removes his hand from under your skirt and takes pleasure in watching your juices trickle down the side of his digits.

         Whining in protest, you throw your other leg over the arm of the chair. “W-What was that for?” you demand as your cheeks flare a bright red.

         “Didn’t I tell you that I was testing something for myself?”

         “And what is that?”

         He smirks at you, making your stomach flip over. “I want to see how many times I can bring you to your edge until you beg for me.”

         You groan just by hearing this, and he proceeds to push your skirt up around your waist as to remove your undergarments. Catching the edge of the fabric, you hold it in place so that you can watch him as he drags his tongue across your wet folds. The sensation sends you spiraling into a sea of pleasure, so you throw your head back and let your hand tangle in his hair.

         Although your high from earlier has died down a bit, Giles satisfies your lustful desires as he laps at your bundle of sensitive nerves.

         “I wonder…” he dawls as he inserts his fingers into once more. Giles curls his fingers as he had before, but this time, they prod against your g-spot just as he flicks your clit with his tongue. The combined sensation sends you howling with bliss and you tighten your grip on his hair. When you tug, he groans against you, and the vibration makes you tense your muscles. You expect him to allow you this pleasure, but instead, he pulls back again.

         “No!” you complain. You remove your fingers from his hair and attempt to help yourself finish, but Giles catches your wrists.

         “Now, now. Good things come to those who wait.”

         Giles hoists you up and trades spots with you; he sits in your chair and he places you on his lap. You adjust yourself so that your cunt rests on his thigh.

         “Do you expect me to finish myself on you?”

         He simply smiles.

         “You sadistic-”

         “You were the one that fell asleep during my lesson. Consider this punishment. Hopefully, you will learn your lesson after this.”

         Giles tenses the muscles in his thighs, giving you a hard surface to grind against. You bite your lip and consider your position. It would be humiliating if you cum on his thigh, but at the same time you are so desperate for release that you throw your arms around his neck and begin grinding forcefully against him.

         All the shame that holds you back suddenly dissipates when his hands land on your hips and he pushes you down harder onto his leg. You look up at him, only to find him smirking contently, and it only turns you on more.

         “Will you let me cum this time?”

         He ponders for a moment before cupping your face gently. “Will you beg for me?”

         Giving him your larges puppy-dog eyes, you press your chest against his and grind hard against him. The rough fabric of his trousers drives you insane – to the point where you feel the knot in your abdomen finally coming undone. Moans roll off of your tongue as you reach your climax, and Giles drags his fingers up your spine. They land on the lace keeping your dress closed, and while you are preoccupied with your reward, he undresses you.

         Panting heavily, you sling your arms around his neck and kiss him. Giles slips your dress down your shoulders, and when you stand up, you step out of the gown. You stand in front of him, only wearing your corset.

         Giles peers up at you before standing up as well. He hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you close to his body. Warmth emanates from his skin and when you press your hand to his chest, you can feel his heart beating quickly.

         “Hm… have you learned something?”

         “I don’t know…” you tease, “I think I need one more lesson.”

         He raises an eyebrow at you. “Oh?”

         “I”ll pay attention, I promise.”

         Giles takes your hand and spins you around, putting you against the desk. You lean back and watch him slowly unbutton his shirt and then his pants. “Oh I would hope that you do. There will be a quiz afterwards.” He reveals his hardened cock and rubs himself against your swollen folds.

         “Mmm… please-”

         He leans over you as his member enters you. Caged under his body, you cling to his shoulders as he begins to thrust into you. Pleasure wracks your body over and over – unlike it had earlier. He fills your womanhood and delivers you sensations you’ve never felt before. His deft fingers trace your curves, and despite being separated by the thick fabric of your corset, you can feel everything he does to you.

         Giles cups your face and kisses you deeply, his tongue entering your mouth.

         Overwhelmed with pleasure, you squirm and extend your arms, pushing some books off the edge of the desk. Giles clicks his tongue when he leans back. “Oh no, don’t be naughty. Books are to be coveted~” His hands wrap around your abdomen and he pulls you upwards.

         He bucks his hip against you, until his hips collide with yours. You spiral down into your happiness, and you let your head hang backwards. Before you have a chance to warn him, your climax hits you hard, and your legs tremble as he continues to pump in and out of you.

         “Professor~ Won’t you cum inside of me?”

         Giles eyes flash and he groans as you say that. He kisses your neck and teeths on your skin, giving you a well-shaped hickey. “Well, since you asked so nicely…” he whispers into your ear as you feel his warmth filling you.

         Running your hands through his hair, you stroke his face gently and give him a lopsided smile.

         “Thank you for the lesson, professor.”

         He laughs and tucks your face into the crook of his neck. Stroking your hair, he whispers, “What a good girl you are.”

         Goosebumps run down your shoulders, and you blush deeply. “We’re still in the library,” you remind him softly.

[ununniliad]

Return of Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will Probably Never Have an Ending.GEKIJOBAN: "Friendgame"

The cover is a lovingly hand-painted portrait of Net.Access punching LAN.os right in the face.

----

A universe, not of hard and unyielding matter and energy, but of connection, affinity, the fundamental forces that bind people together - the Friend Zone!

And within that universe - the planet known as Rostir, home of the ghosts of millions of never-realized characters! And home to something else! Home of one of Looniverse-20's most powerful artifacts - an Absurdity Stone! In specific, guarded here is the soul of the Absurdity Stones, the mytheopeic center of everything that is the superhero genre - the Characterization Stone!

And upon that planet's misty magenta fields, beneath its violet sky with its soft robin's-egg clouds, lands the ship of - LAN.os!

The insipid purple man, fedora on his head, wearing a tailored business suit with the Crossover Queen's insignia on the lapel, walked down the ramp, followed by an average-looking, slightly slouchy black guy in a Moon Girl T-shirt, looking around and taking pictures with his phone.

"Haha!" shouted LAN.os, raising his chin, looking over the mist-covered landscape, soft like the dreams of a Lisa Frank unicorn. "Guardian! I summon you from your slumber. Awaken for LAN.os, son of the greatest warrior in the cosmos!"

The mists drew together before LAN.os, and out of them arose the shuffling, shadowy ghost of a character who never was - Ultra-Nazi-Squared, a concept for a net.villain who was dropped when the cultural view of Nazis as an easy default bad guy suddenly stopped being a Thing.

"lan.os of inferior," murmured the phantom. "you seek the stone... as have so many others... fools, all... once, i held the stone..."

"Skip the backstory, pathetic wretch, and take me to the site of my greatest victory!" LAN.os raised his fist in the air and shook it mightily.

The average-looking guy took a picture of the phantom. "This is going straight up on the Discord."

The villain-who-never-was lead them to the shore of a great lavender ocean, lapping at a beach of multicolored sugar sand. LAN.os grinned, cracking his knuckles. "Finally, my day of triumph and power approaches! Finally, the day the scales will be balanced - in favor of me!"

"Fat chance!" There was a THOOM! and water and sand sprayed up in the air as a figure landed on the beach. 

The wave crashed back down on LAN.os, who sputtered and flailed, suit and hat completely soaked. "Pff! Pfahfh! What!? Who! Who dares challenge LAN.os, second to the Crossover Queen!?"

"Who do you think, buster!?" There in the breaking tide stood a figure. She was dressed in a black catsuit with a red, blue and gold starburst on the chest and a stylish brown leather jacket with cybernetic wings on the back. On her head was a red fedora that worked a thousand times better on her, and on her hands were high-tech blue-and-silver gauntlets. She was the Keymaster of the Omnilooniverse. She was Net.Access.

"YOU!" LAN.os shook his fist at her. "Of course... I should have known you would come to oppose me!"

Net.Access shook her head dismissively. "Sorry, but I have bigger things going on. How'd you get back in the Friend Zone, tho? I figured I'd never see your weird chin here ever again."

LAN.os laughed. "Fool, I am stronger than you knew me! I have made... EXACTLY ONE FRIEND!" He grabbed the average-looking guy and squeezed him against his side. "DOUG, from the comic book store!!"

"Uh, hey." Doug wriggled in LAN.os's grip and waved to Net.Access. "Sorry about this."

She acknowledged him with a nod. "Pardon me if I don't applaud."

"Your praise is meaningless to me, so there! But I have entered the Friend Zone, and located the Characterization Stone, as part of the Crossover Queen's plan! Soon, we shall enter a great crossover, where I take my time obtaining all the Absurdity Stones, one by one, each one that I obtain bringing in at least half a billion dollars in the US, and even more worldwide! And when they are brought together, I-- I mean, she-- shall rule triumphant!" LAN.os looked around shiftily. "I'm definitely not planning to betray her. Just ask Doug!"

Doug nodded. "Yeah, totally. He comes to game nights and talks about how he's not planning to betray the Crossover Queen all the time."

"And now..." LAN.os turned toward the ocean. A great whirlpool formed on its surface, a swirling nexus ready to pull anything down into the briny depths. "The Characterization Stone requires a sacrifice! And I--" He lifted Doug up over his head, in both hands. "I shall sacrifice my exactly one friend!"

"Hey, wait wait what!" Doug squirmed around, dropping his phone in the sand. "LAN.os. Dude. We talked about this."

"Yes, Doug! I remember our great debates on the trolley problem, and my promise that I would not sacrifice any of the gamers with which we play! But you see, Doug!" LAN.os roared in triumph. "I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED!"

Net.Access rolled her eyes, sliding her hand down her face. "Okay. Enough. Let him go."

LAN.os cackled in maniacal glee. "Now, we shall have the ultimate climactic bat--!"

Net.Access snapped her fingers and the beach underneath LAN.os turned into a quicksand trap from a 1950s adventure movie. He yelped as he was pulled down to chest level immediately. Net.Access tossed a vine to Doug and he climbed out gratefully.

"Like I said. I didn't come here to fight you." From the pocket of her jacket, Net.Access pulled a cube - or, rather, a Kube; one of the Kubrik's Kubes, once-mighty cosmic artifacts, now powerless pieces of multicolored plastic. "I came here to fix a mistake."

"Insolent woman!" LAN.os charged up his prodigious cosmic strength-- but by the laws of '50s adventure movies, flailing around only caused him to sink faster, and by the time he stopped, the quicksand was up to his shoulders. "As soon as my army--"

"You can't take an army into the Friend Zone, LAN.os, I know it's just you and Doug on an automated ship." Net.Access tossed the Kube up in the air, caught it, looking off in the distance, memories playing across the back of her eyes. "Do you remember, when we fought before?" She shook her head, laughed. "No, you wouldn't. It's not the kind of thing you pay attention to. But..."

She sighed, smiled wistfully at a happy moment. "After Victoria and I saved each other... we were talking to everybody, and I was like... well, I hope this teaches the Writers to finish what they start. And everybody agreed. But..." She shook her head. "But we were wrong. I was wrong."

"It wasn't..." Net.Access turned to look at the place the technicolor sky met the pastel sea. "It wasn't the unfinished stories that caused the rifts and put the Looniverses in danger. I thought that that's what it was, when I saw the great pattern at the heart of the cosmos, and the missing pieces that were breaking it apart. But..." She looked around, turned to Doug, just so she could have an audience who might listen. "But it wasn't the stories that hadn't been written. It was the stories that wouldn't be written. It wasn't just that the Writers weren't writing endings, they weren't writing anything. Because of guilt. Guilt over having left things half-done."

Doug nodded, eyes wide, not understanding a word, as a tide of mist rolled in from the fields and covered the beach in a whispering haze. LAN.os, nose-deep in the mist, sneezed.

"The impossible standards, the need to catch up, to..." Net.Access waved her hands in the air. "To climb a mountain when you've already fallen and hit every rock on the way down! Before you can do anything new." She sighed, taking off her hat and running her hand thru her hair. "That's how I failed Intro to Hamburgerology. Got caught on an unfinished assignment, never turned it in, stopped going to class... to be honest, I'm still not sure why they put sesame seeds on the buns."

"Uh, are you getting distracted?" asked Doug.

"My victory speech would have been a lot better," grumbled LAN.os. "It would have had lots of references to famous European philosophers. Sounded really smart."

"Right. Anyway, what I'm saying is, me and the whole narrative around the rift crisis might've made things worse." The wings on Net.Access's back started fluttering, and she rose up in the air. "So I decided to do what I could to fix things. To be honest, I was already in the Friend Zone before I sensed you coming. You're not what I came here for at all."

LAN.os snorted, turning his head away. "Humph! Women and their easy excuses..."

Doug sighed. "Did you even read the 'feminism 101' articles I kept linking you?"

"I... I skimmed them, I swear!"

Net.Access rose up over the whirlpool. "To summon the Characterization Stone..." She held out the Kube in front of her. "I summon our future." She closed her eyes. "The future where all those long-forgotten stories would be finally finished. Where everything that we hoped to see flashed before our eyes in a perfect moment. Where we could resolve everything, once and for all, and seal it with a perfect 'The End'."

The Kube began to glow, softly at first, then coruscating with silvery color, filling with the energies of dream and desire. "Once, I sacrificed a perfect, finished past for an unbounded future, bright with possibility. Now, I sacrifice a perfect, finished future, so that that unbounded possibility may be accessible to all, each day free of the guilt of ages, each day open and new!"

Net.Access lifted the Kube over her head, and the mist rose up from the beach, up from the magenta fields, up towards her. As the mist rose, it spiraled around itself, became a solid shape, like a tornado in reverse.

The tip of the tornado slammed into the Kube. It shook, and Net.Access held on with both hands, brows knitting as a torrent of unrealized possibility streamed recklessly in, the silver light brighter and brighter with each moment until it was eye-searing.

Net.Access lowered the Kube, holding it out before her, directly over the maw of the whirlpool. "I release the Writers! I release the plots! I release the guilt! I..." Her hand opened. "Release!" 

The Kube fell, tumbling end-over-end until it disappeared into the churning sea.

The whirlpool collapsed in on itself, and a column of light burst from the water. In the middle of that column was a fist-sized hunk of ruby, unfinished but scintillating with crimson light.

Net.Access reached out. Lighting crackled from the surface of the ruby into her outstretched hand, and she flinched, and turned her head away, eyes closed. But when she looked back, her eyes were glowing red, and her hand closed around the Characterization Stone.

"NO!" yelled LAN.os. "That was a meaningless sacrifice! Something you valued for the wrong reasons - something you had to let go of for your own good!"

Net.Access smirked, fedora perfectly perched on her head, eyes bright with the light of the Stone. "That's the most meaningful sacrifice you can make." She held the Stone in the air, pointing into the sky. "Let the wheels of characterization, stopped so long ago, grind into action once more! CHARACTEEEEEER... GRAND GROWTH!!"

Crimson lightning crackled around the Stone, around her body, and shot into the sky-- slamming against it like it was an invisible dome, and causing the dome to crack wide open, a gash that caused the alien light of a yellow sun to stream thru.

And thru that gap zoomed an enormous fishing hook, glinting golden, arcing thru the air and slamming into the sand. The hook was attached to a line, and the line pulled taut, pointing off thru the crack; and pulled thru by the line came a young man and an armored being. 

The man wore a white trenchcoat with shimmery silver trim over a white spandex bodysuit with silver boots, a silver belt with a gold buckle, and a gold, shield-shaped chest emblem with a silver fishing hook on it. The being's armor was composed of smooth plates, gunmetal gray for most of it, blue on the gloves and boots, with a shining white breastplate, a blue circle on the left panel, a blue square on the right, and a blank blue faceplate. Doug watched them fly down, mouth in an O of amazement, and snapped several pictures.

They landed with a thump! on the beach. "Net.Access, are you okay?" said the man. "I sensed an enormous plot hook right before that-- I mean, that rift opened." He looked concerned, youthful brow furrowed.

"I'm sensing intense cosmic energies from the object she's holding," said a deep, smoky voice from the armor. "It may be some form of cosmic plot device, tho from the spectral analysis, I can tell it is not the Cosmic Plot Device."

The Characterization Stone pulsed in Net.Access's hand, and a burst of crimson energy pulsed from her eyes. "Nnnn... okay, that's enough of that... Plot Hook Lad... Betamax... can you give me some kind of containment unit?"

"One moment." Betamax pulled seemingly random panels off her armor; beneath each was an identical panel, which rose into place. She brought them together, assembling a sleek gray-and-blue sphere with an iris on it, which she threw up to Net.Access; Net.Access dropped the Stone into it and sighed. "Whew."

"So do we-- WHOA is that LAN.os!" Plot Hook Lad took a step back.

"Hah, yes!" crowed the cosmic villain, raising his fist. "And now that you have secured the Characterization Stone for me, I will-- whoop, sinking, sinking..."

"Yeah," said Net.Access. landing on the beach. "Long story."

"He desired that object, and you stopped him," said Betamax.

"Okay, short story." Net.Access adjusted the iris on the containment sphere, and a trickle of crimson energy streamed out like mist. "But that's not important, the important thing is, talking about what's been going on in your lives lately."

"...you know, I know you've been spending a lot of time with your girlfriend lately, but you could have, like, sent a text or something," said Plot Hook Lad. "No need to unearth interdimensional artifacts."

"I believe it is for the artifact," said Betamax, whose voice was near-monotone yet excellent at conveying a subtle amusement.

"Right," smiled Net.Access, the drama of the previous scene slowly dissolving, the guilt that had been released easing away.

"Oh, well." Plot Hook Lad laughed, a bit of his old awkwardness showing up. "Why don't you go first, Betamax, and I hook in?"

"All right," she said. "As you both know, I was originally known to the LNH as Irony Man II, showing up after the original Irony Man retired, on a secret quest to find the Messiah of Sincerity so that we could recruit the cosmic being known as the Laziness to stop the cosmic beings known as the Serious Business."

"Right," said Net.Access. "I wasn't around for that whole thing; how did it go?"

"Well."

"...well?"

"Yes." Betamax's featureless head gave a simple nod. "We accomplished our goals."

"Ah." Net.Access scratched her head. "...okay, well, what's been happening with you lately?"

"Well, I decided to stay in the present, for now, as a member of the Legion. I took on the new moniker of Betamax, to signify an embrace not of technology as a simple arc of ever-increasing progression, but as a branching infinity of possible futures, and a reminder that simply because one is more 'advanced', one is not necessarily better."

"Wow," said Net.Access. "That is simultaneously really deep and excessively convoluted."

Betamax gave a small bow. "Thank you."

"Yeah, once that whole thing was resolved, I came back to the LNH too," said Plot Hook Lad. "They helped me get my life back in place, it was... really hard dealing with all the emotional stuff, but, like, better than the alternative, right?" He gave a chuckle and pushed his hair back. "My family's great... everything's okay now."

Net.Access took a step towards Plot Hook Lad and pulled him into a tight hug. He made a little noise of surprise, then returned it; after a moment, they separated. "So," said Net.Access, "how'd you come back to life, anyway?"

He grinned. "Oh, Masterplan Lad brought me back to life."

"Masterplan Lad!?" Net.Access blinked in surprise. "He never said anything about that!"

"Well, he hasn't done it yet, of course." Plot Hook Lad's grin widened, and he crossed his arms.

"...uuuuuh-huh." Net.Access found herself smiling despite herself. "And you're not gonna follow up on that, are you."

"Nope!" Plot Hook Lad bounced in place impishly.

"Okay, okay," said Net.Access, shaking her head cheerfully. "Well, get some cosmic-y types over here to contain LAN.os. Maybe stick him in the Ultimate Black Hole if that's still around? And if it's not, y'know, evil. ...it's probably evil tho"

"I shall contact my sources," said Betamax, walking over to the quicksand.

"Ha-HA!" cackled LAN.os, exulting. "LAN.os never loses! Now, Doug!"

"...now what?" said Doug.

"Activate the device I gave you, of course!"

Doug rummaged in his pocket. "You mean this weird silver thing with the red button that you said not to push?"

"Yes! Push it, Doug!!"

Doug sighed and handed the device to Betamax. "Dude, you literally tried to kill me."

"...for friendship, Doug! Or, well, causally linked to friendship, at least!" LAN.os attempted the puppy dog eyes, and Net.Access had to look away.

She looked toward Doug. "Are you okay? Physically, but also, uh, emotionally."

"Physically, yeah." Doug rubbed his thighs. "Emotionally... this has been a weird day."

"Yeah, it really--" The containment unit pulsed in her hand. "Hhh. Uhh, lemme just take care of this..."

Her outfit dissolved, reforming into a sepiatone version of Babe Ruth's uniform. She took a step back, winding up...

"Wait! No!" LAN.os shouted. "Fool! I'll have to find another-- I mean, make more-- I mean..."

Net.Access launched the containment unit over the ocean. It flew, arcing high into the air... and at the very top of the arc, burst apart, the Characterization Stone trailing crimson fire until it splashed into the sea and was gone.

She dusted off her hands. "Leave that for Earth-20 to deal with." She turned back to Doug, ignoring LAN.os's shouts. "I think it's gonna take a while for them to deal with this guy. Want a ride back?"

"Sure," said Doug, "but can't you only leave with a friend?"

Net.Access took his hand.  "When you go thru big weird cosmic stuff together, you're friends. That's a net.hero rule."

"Oh, well..." He rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, a bit shyly. "That sounds good. Thank you."

Net.Access lead him off the beach, down across the magenta fields. "I'm sorry if this is blunt, but... how'd you become friends with that guy, anyway?"

"Heh. No, I guess there's no good way to ask." Doug shrugged. "Honestly, he showed up at game night one week and just... really seemed like he needed something normal in his life. So we let him play. And like... honestly, for a while, it seemed like he was just... having fun just enjoying himself. But then... I don't know what changed."

Net.Access nodded in commiseration. "I think... some people can't let go of what they've convinced themselves they have to do. Even if it's not nearly as healthy for them as letting go and just having a good time."

"Yeah. You think I should, like..." Doug looked over his shoulder. "Cut him off?"

"That's up to you. But I would establish some boundaries, at the very least." 

"Yeah..."

They came to a tall, spreading tree with bark of rose gold and leaves of, surprisingly, emerald green. Beneath sat a well-composed, human-looking being, deep in a book, his umbrella leaning against a tree.

"Masterplan Lad!" Net.Access waved, and Masterplan Lad looked up. 

He waved and stood, putting away his book and taking up his umbrella as they walked over. "I see you met a new friend," he said.

Doug scratched the back of his neck, smiling. Net.Access chuckled. "Yeah, this place does that to you."

"Did you get done what you needed to?" said Masterplan Lad, adjusting his bowtie.

"For now." Net.Access looked off into the sky. "They'll probably need reminding."

Masterplan Lad nodded, a small, rueful, hopeful smile on his face. "They always do."

Masterplan Lad took Doug's hand, and together, the three of them walked forward; and as they walked, they shimmered into soft, multicolored light, and they faded from the Friend Zone. But they could return anytime they felt like it, without grief or pain. And, reader, so can you.

[theateared]

     ❝ So.  You’re back on Huron soil, I see. ❞

     His head swivelled in the direction of the voice, his eyes landing on a vaguely familiar woman.  Though he couldn’t place her name, her face was stark in his head.  

     ❝ That I am, ❞   he replied, arms crossing atop the fence he was leaning against.  During his time away from Huron, he’d forgotten just how nice early morning walks alongside the pastures were.  The fields seemed to roll on forever, unaffected by time or weather;  an endless emerald sea, plush and warm and wild.   ❝ Who’s askin’? ❞

     She came closer, standing next to him, something lodged between her lips.  When he turned his head to get a better look, he realised that smoke was exiting the other end, the faint scent of mint hanging around it.  He squinted, leaning closer, though leapt back when she inched forwards with the apparent intention of burning him.

     ❝ Relax, Murphy, ❞   she said through a short, unkind laugh, inhaling deeply before blowing smoke ahead of her--  graciously not in his face.  When he still didn’t understand what she was doing, she nodded once, tongue clicking as she withdrew the stick from her lips.   ❝ I forgot, you weren’t here when these were brought over from Vide.  They’re smokes.  You inhale it and you get all…  relaxed and calm. ❞

     ❝ So it’s a drug. ❞

     ❝ Anythin’s a drug if y’do it enough, ❞   she reiterated, head rolling in the man’s direction.  He didn’t look impressed.  Neither did she.  With a sigh, she offered her already lit one to him.  When he didn’t take it immediately, she took the initiative, setting it forcefully between his lips and lighting it for him before he had a chance to say no.   ❝ Now breathe in. ❞

     Kaff, kaff.

     ❝ You’re such an amateur... ❞     Despite her less than enthusiastic tone, the hint of a smile danced at the edges of her lips.  Aléjandro Murphy had always been a mysterious case to her. They’d existed purely in parallel, seeing each other in passing but never entering one another’s realms.  She knew of him only as the suave, misunderstood theatre kid... and the filthy rich  business-tender.  It was quite clear that, if anybody could help her with any kind of investment, it was him.   ❝ Listen…  I know we don’t know one another, but I think I might have somethin’ of interest t’you.  D’y’wanna grab a coffee and talk it over? ❞

     ❝ I don’t drink coffee... ❞

     ❝ I would say don’t be pedantic, that it doesn’t suit you, but it really does.  It really does. ❞

                                                           _____  . ( 🞮 ) .  _____

     All things considered, this wasn’t how he envisioned his morning to go.  What had once been a quiet walk on his own before people arose from slumber and went to bed had quickly spiralled into a discussion about business.  The hot cocoa in his hands tasted complimentary--  a mere pleasantry in the face of work.  In truth, neither of them were focused on their drinks anymore.  

     ❝ Yer askin’ fer my help in buildin’ ‘n’ managin’ a warehouse...? ❞

    ❝ Keep up, Murr. ❞     There was a lull in the conversation as she took a contemplative sip of her coffee.   Though the liquid was warm, she felt no more comforted than before it had touched her tongue.   Despite her brave face, sitting opposite somebody with so much of a hand in how she could play her cards made her nervous.  She could only be grateful that he didn’t know it.  ❝ There’s so much shit goin’ down in Vide, a lot of it involvin’ kids.  Orphans.  But also troubled people.  There’s a lot of undisclosed issues goin’ on on this side of town, as well as a lot of unemployment, ‘n’ crime stemmin’ as a result of that frustration.  Think about it logically:  we could do good for everyone.  We could mass-distribute stuff t’give to the orphanages;  we could provide jobs for people who’re strugglin’ to get anywhere in life;  we could bridge that gap between Huron and Vide even further.  We could make one of the first, if not the first, bi-racial workplaces in existence.  We could also make a lot of money t’feed back into Huron directly. ❞

    ❝ ‘n’ where do I slot into this, exactly...? ❞

    ❝ You, ❞   she started, pointing languidly at him.  Her finger spun, circling his outline vaguely before she continued:   ❝ Not only d’you have the money t’help me, you need the good press. ❞

    Murr squinted, visibly annoyed.   ❝ Excuse me? ❞

    ❝ C’mon, Murr!  You know that it isn’t going to be as easy as you want it to be t’slot back into Huron.  You know people don’t trust you.  This could be your chance t’get your foot in the door again!  How’re people supposed t’extend trust to you if you don’t somehow prove that you’re not goin’ t’betray it again? ❞

    ❝ I didn’t betray anybody.  It was you who left me to rot. ❞

     She softened slightly, disarmed by his livid stance.  With how easily he seemed to have up and vanished, she didn’t expect there to be any sort of bitterness surrounding his perception of his people.  She’d clearly prodded a nerve;  stepped on something fragile and anguished.  Even after the initial bite of his words had left her, the icy quality his eyes had gained was enough to make her think twice.  He wasn’t somebody she had considered intimidating before, but they weren’t children anymore.

    ❝ ... I’m sorry.  Maybe I got a little over-zealous. ❞

    ❝ Yeah.  Maybe. ❞

     Let it go.  Don’t lose him now.  After a moment of silence, she opened her mouth to continue:   ❝ ... it’s not fair.  I know that.  So do you.  But it’s just the way it goes.  Whether you meant to or not, you caused a lot of trouble with your mad ravings through town.  People’re scared of you, Murr.  They think you’ll snap for real one day.  Do somethin’ awful.  I know you know I’m right about that, at least. ❞     He looked visibly frustrated, though a protest didn’t leave him.  It was then that she knew, despite his righteous anger, she had him cornered..   ❝ ... this whole comin’ back t’Huron thing’s gonna require a lot of effort.  So much effort.  Way more effort than it should.  But I really think, if you’re serious about startin’ over, y’should at least consider this.  No matter how much people dislike you at the moment, it’s hard t’deny the efforts of a project so ambitious.  ‘n’ it’s not just about the money.  I really think that...  this is a good way for you t’prove that y’mean business.  You can start off strong by helpin’ literally thousands of people, ‘n’ at least half of them aren’t even goin’ t’be from Huron.  Nobody can deny the good in your heart after that.  ❞    She paused then, feeling if she rambled for too much longer, he’d cut her off and leave.  She knew not of his true temperament;  whether he was suitable for the position of a manager;  whether or not he really would snap and hurt someone one day--  but it was a leap of faith she’d have to take.  Though she had a lot of money of her own, saved up from constant work between districts, it was nowhere near enough for a project of this magnitude.  Going to him seemed logical, even if unconventional, given his history as the most affluent man in all of Huron.   ❝ ... listen.  You don’t have t’make a decision now, ‘n’ I suppose I can’t make you say yes, but I really think that...  this’d be good fer everyone, includin’ you.  Beyond the money ‘n’ even all the tension between you ‘n’ Huron...  it’d be good for you t’be part of somethin’ bigger after so long of bein’ alone.  I think workin’ alongside people again would be good for you, not just a business.  I know we don’t know each other, and we’ve never really spent time together, but you befriended Kuro...  so you have to have goodness in you.  You have to.  He’s never wrong about characters. ❞   She rose from her seat, tugging her jacket back into its proper place before offering him a positively meek smile.    ❝ ...I think you’re good.  Deep down.   So just--  think about it, okay?❞

[dreadhaus-literature]

{Character Study} Diederich Frost

I have been reading a lot of research books lately, trying to hone my talent into something useable, and trying to get my head in the right space to write again. One of those books is, “Write Characters Your Readers Won’t Forget” by Stant Litore; another highly rated/recommended writing tool from Amazon, and that book comes with exercises! So we’re going to take a first pass at them with a newly created OC.

I won’t say it’s been a while since I’ve created characters, because it hasn’t been, but any practice is good practice, right? Right.

The book interested me simply because I want to write good characters--which I know is a stupid thing to say, lmao, as an author that’s like half my goddamn job. But that’s why I want to be good at it! And practice makes perfect.

This will be on-going, since there’s an entire booklet full of exercises, so I’ll just reblog and add to the post as I read. P:

The character I’ve decided to use is from my first group of 10 drabbles from my Shots in the Dark collection.

#10, Diederich, who will be henceforth known by his full name--

Diederich Karsten Frost

Exercise One - Write down your character’s critical ingredient, that one defining strength that everyone will know them for. If you don’t know yet, make it up.

Well I don’t know yet, because I only wrote about Diederich once and it was for like half a page--so we’re going to make it up.

Diederich’s defining strength is that he is unrelenting.

Exercise Two - Take another look at your character’s one great strength. How might that same strength set them up for disaster? Brainstorm a little.

Oh ho, this is surprisingly easy. I don’t know Diederich very well yet but what I do know about him is that he’s a ruthless businessman, has the money to show for it, because he’s unrelenting, unyielding, a mountain in the face of a hurricane--but where that strength will fail him? When he has to bend for love, for the one in his life who means the most. He’s a man used to getting what and who he wants, so when he’s told no...

It’s going to be difficult for all parties involved.

Water can eventually wear down rock but it takes centuries, and that’s the kind of patience I imagine Diederich’s lover will have to have if they want to gain any ground with this man. He’s going to be difficult to get to bend and similar to ice he’s likely to shatter into something sharp rather than give to the will of others.

Diederich’s strength makes him severe, which is not always a good thing, especially outside the boardroom.

Exercise Three - “What is the worst thing you could possibly do to your character?” It’s a great question to ask when you’re wanting to learn about what your character is made of, so ask that question now, with a bit of a twist.

“What is the worst thing you could possibly do to your character, that they would be least equipped to handle? Brainstorm that.

And once you’ve crafted their greatest tragedy, ask the next question: How can this character use their one great strength to help them meet the problem head-on?

When I first wrote Diederich he was just supposed to be a flash!OC for an Obsessives drabble set. He existed to fill a void, of a slightly deluded narcissist who was left reeling from rejection/abandonment, so taking that into consideration...I’m going to say the worst thing I could possibly do to Diederich is to take that desired love away.

His drabble opened and closed with him seeking the love he’d only held briefly and how it was sending him spiraling to lose it. Diederich is a controlling person; he isn’t going to know how to deal with the free will of his lover and what that means for him. He can’t 100% control love or the object of his desire and that fear becomes realized as soon as she’s gone. It’s going to cripple him in multiple ways; he feels he’s failed, an emotion he absolutely cannot deal with, and the abandonment, the loss, is a wound to his massive pride. It’s going to consume him like rot, until he can’t stand it marring his otherwise perfect life. He’s ill-equipped to sit with failure.

In short? He won’t be able to stand it. It’ll drive him insane.

But, it happens to work out perfectly: his one great strength, his unrelenting personality won’t allow him to quit, to rest, until he’s found his love and righted his world on it’s axis. Diederich can’t be, won’t be stopped.

No matter what.

Exercise Four - Write a 1-2 paragraph, unique character entrance scene. Try to make it impactful!

The illumination coming off the five star hotel shimmered as it split the night, parting shadows like the red sea to make way for one undeniably important man. The crowd on the sidewalk seemed to follow suit, halting in their steps to make room for broad shoulders near stretching the seams of finely tailored cloth as the occupant of the expensive towncar placed first one, then two polished dress shoes on the sidewalk. As he straightened up, onlookers hesitant to pass by were struck by an impressive stature attributed to fine breeding that could only come from living within the upper echelon of society for centuries.

Eyes so blue they were nearly ice white sliced cleanly straight ahead, no sideways glance because it was apparent this man had no time nor care to know who was around. The driver standing by the open door could possibly double for security but it was hard to imagine a man so tall, so statuesque truly needed it; his presence not only exuded importance but malice, so that small children might actually scurry out of his way. The sharp clack of dress shoes heralded his long strides, drawing one’s attention up from pressed slacks to the length of a wool-lined trench, buttoned against a no doubt trim and toned middle. Large hands were cradled in the softest Italian leather and when he reached up to his breast pocket for a single crisp $100 bill to hand to the doorman, all those onlookers could see were the cut of cheekbones that could no doubt make fast work of a piece of glass. This man had enviable bone structure; Old World in that his cheeks were square and his chin slightly pointed, angled to bring attention to a jawline that went on for days. His nose had only the faintest of a curve to it, right at the tip, so that when he was staring down at some unfortunate soul they’d only be forced to follow that curve right back up to those unforgivingly cold eyes. Complimentary to his pale eyes and skin, his blond hair was a silvery flaxen in shade and in cut the sides were shaved but the top left long and slicked back--akin to a shark’s white fin just barely breaking the surface of moonless ocean waves.

Anyone who didn’t know Diederich Frost was always left wanting to after laying eyes on him for the first time.

Exercise Five - Now, write a new entry scene for the same character, but if in the first attempt you used dialogue, now do the entry with no dialogue. And if in the first attempt you didn’t use dialogue, do it almost entirely through dialogue this time.

...Goddamnit.

I FELT REALLY GOOD ABOUT THE FIRST ONE BECAUSE I CAN WRITE ME SOME DESCRIPTION. But how the fuck am I gonna make this man’s entrance with DIALOGUE.

Goddamnit.

“Mr. Frost is on his way up,” came the understandably frantic voice of the aforementioned Mr. Frost’s assistant. The young man was desperate to make a good impression on the owner of this prestigious company and though fresh-faced and college enrolled, Sacha felt he was up to the task. He hoped, anyway.

“W-What should I do?” Unlike Sacha, who had been Mr. Frost’s assistant for the past six months, this new hire, Norbert, was struggling. Sacha thought it would be a miracle if the shorter brunette made it through the end of the week.

“Fix your tie,” Sacha hissed, his back to the elevator as he prepared Mr. Frost’s cup of coffee. “Stand up straight, don’t stare and don’t you dare call Mr. Frost by his first name again.”

Norbert flushed strawberry, pudgy fingers pushing the wrinkles from his tie. “It w-was an accident!”

“Yes well your firing won’t be if it happens again.” Sacha dropped the statement with the same finality he set the square cup of coffee on it’s saucer, steaming hot and waiting for Mr. Frost like the rest of his obedient staff. Sacha set the saucer on the top of his desk, facing the elevator as the car made it’s way up, announcing their arriving boss with each click of the lighted panel above the doors. Sacha spot out of the corner of his mouth, hands clasped behind his back, still facing the elevator. “Mr. Frost has a full day of meetings ahead, Norbert, so I’ll handle his refreshments and meals while you’ll take care of...?”

“His dry cleaning, getting his car washed, and picking up his tailored suits from Mr. Favero.” Norbert was proud to keep his usual anxious stammer from his voice but Sacha didn’t even seem to notice--and if he did, he didn’t care to remark on it.

The small victory was quickly forgotten when the gleaming elevator doors opened and Mr. Diederich Frost stepped out onto his office floor. The entire building was his company, but this top floor was reserved for the illustrious owner and his assistants, giving him plenty of room to work undisturbed.

“Good morning, Mr. Frost.” Sacha spoke first, almost eagerly, and Norbert had to quietly admire how easy it seemed to be for Sacha to speak to Diederich. Norbert sometimes forgot his own name when those ice blue eyes stared him down.

“G-Good morning,” Norbert had all but lost ground from his earlier feat of not stammering. He cleared his throat, knowing it wouldn’t help.

Their boss, Diederich Frost, was a statuesque man of impeccable breeding and class, born with a silver spoon in his mouth but he did the polishing himself. There was no resting on laurels for Diederich; ambition lined his already swollen pockets until there were rumors he could buy their country and have enough left over to still maintain his $500 a month haircuts. Normally, Norbert would think that was an exorbitant amount of money to spend on a haircut but Diederich’s silvery blond hair turned heads just as often as the rest of him did. Whether it was his flaxen hair, his sharp cheekbones, or his deeply accented voice, Diederich Frost was the man to know. Norbert just didn’t think he could get the sentence, “I know Diederich Frost,” out of his mouth without his blood pressure dropping.

“Messages.” Diederich’s voice was like an anvil, dropping period where others would hang questions marks, but Sacha didn’t miss a beat.

“Your brother called, he’s still insisting you come out for the weekend,” Sacha recited the messages by memory, even as he gave Norbert a pointed look to pick up Mr. Frost’s coffee and follow them into his expensive, lavish office. “Your aunt’s birthday is tomorrow and I confirmed the delivery of her favorite flowers as always, and lastly Mr. Price called for the fifth time, still looking to sell.”

Norbert took a steadying, albeit quick breath as he hurried to place Mr. Frost’s coffee on his desk, just in time for his boss to sit down in his desk chair and nail him to the floor with those icy eyes. Diederich didn’t say a word, merely met Norbert’s gaze evenly, giving the shorter male plenty of time to see Diederich’s expensive three-piece blue suit was a direct compliment to pale porcelain skin. It was also just long enough to see Diederich’s eyes narrow because Norbert had been staring. The male cleared his throat again and backed up to stand beside Sacha, who was giving him a pointed side-ways stare.

Diederich didn’t thank Sacha for his hard work or excellent delivery but that wasn’t unusual either. Earning a thanks from this hard-working perfectionist took far more impressive feats than simple recitation. Norbert had yet to receive a single one.

“My first meeting is in--”

“Thirty minutes, sir.” Sacha supplied before Diederich could outright ask. The older male simply nodded and took a small drink from his coffee.

“Then get my brother on the line.” Diederich directed to Sacha, before sparing Norbert another glance, disapproval darkening harsh features until it was akin to staring into the eye of a hurricane. “...And straighten your tie, son.”

Norbert was far more likely to hang himself with it in the employee bathroom.

BOY IDK IF THAT WAS WHAT THE EXERCISE MEANT BUT I SURE HOPE SO. Literally don’t know how to write only dialogue, that’s just not...idk, a mix of dialogue/description is fine with me? That’s about as dialogue-centric as my writing ever gets, I find it’s so important (at least for me) to add in little snippets of description, like sprinkling salt. just call me Salt Bae.

Exercise Six - Write the same entry a third time, but this time, change the setting and the situation. Try taking your character out of their comfort zone or put them somewhere they’re unlikely to be.

The joyous, loud cries of children at play announced Birthday Party! long before anyone could lay eyes on the balloons and banners that decorated the park’s picnic area. It was a large, usually populated public park but today was entirely off-limits to the general public, bought for a full 24 hours by the Frost family to celebrate little Alexandra Frost’s seventh birthday. Children of all ages ran and skipped, frolicked and played amongst the playground equipment and bounce houses, while adults sipped alcohol, ate finger foods, and escaped the waning Summer sun inside air-conditioned tents.

No expense was spared for the little princess of the Frost family, niece to none other than Diederich Frost, who had made quite a name for himself on the international business scene. The infamously ruthless billionaire was of course present, dressed in what to him was likely casual; pressed slacks and a designer sweater, but he still stood out in the crowd. He didn’t appear to belong at a children’s party; he was all hard, cold lines and nowhere was that more noticeable than standing beside his younger brother, who was a father of two. Diederich had no children and thus had not been softened by fatherhood; he was all business, all the time, and if one were to pay close attention the majority of the children steered clear of the long-legged Uncle to Alexandra. The birthday girl in question adored her Uncle but why wouldn’t she? He showered her with expensive gifts and she had nothing to fear from ice blue eyes and the hard line of his jaw. Diederich had never been cross with her a day in his life, but the list of people he wasn’t cross with could be counted on a person’s left hand. Diederich looked as mean as he was; high-cut cheekbones, a harsh line to his mouth, and silvery blond hair kept slicked back did everything to add to the air of crackling menace that surrounded the man heads and shoulders taller than most. He was a storm cloud, a single bolt of lightning one doesn’t see until it’s too late and you’re left singed from the contact you didn’t expect amongst the chorus of, “Happy birthday dear Alexandra, happy birthday to you!”

I’ll admit, imagining Diederich at a kid’s birthday party tickled me. He’s shaping up to be such a Type-A, no-nonsense asshole it’s hilarious to imagine him surrounded by balloons and shouting kiddos. He reminds me of the quote from Angela in the Office.

“I wouldn’t mind a pair of well-behaved boys.”

That’s about all I have time for tonight, but I will say, I’ve never really thought about character entrances very much before beginning to read this book. They liken to being out on a first date; it’s your reader’s first impression of your character and you want them hooked right away. Why should they give a damn about your character? You have to make them see what’s so special about them, sort of like...selling your character, I guess?

...I went from a date situation to human trafficking but whatever.

THE POINT IS. I am now realizing that the way characters are introduced is actually pretty important. I mean that was the majority of the exercises tonight, writing and then re-writing the entry scene to see how many different ways I could introduce you to Diederich. Even out of his element he still has to be himself, after all, and that right there is why I think this is important--you’re essentially creating a person, and people have to be adaptable. If your characters are so one-sided they can only exist in a very specific box...then they’re not very good characters.

All in all, I’m pretty pleased with the work I did tonight. I took a character that was interesting to me and actually made something of him. He’s around, now. I hear his voice and I can see him, and that’s pretty rad.

Looking forward to picking this back up soon and seeing what else Mr. Frost has to say~

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 29: Everything Explodes, Cranes Fall, Everyone Drowns, Kaiba Gets Real Freakin Weird(er)

Happy Halloween everyone, I’m waiting for the trick or treaters that will never arrive at my house on a hill without any streetlights. As an adult, it’s not really a thing to go party hopping on a Wednesday (I don’t even know why we celebrate Wednesday Halloweens, they’re the very worst ones), so, lets talk about a ghost story tonight and recap a very long episode of Yugioh.

Bro was just steeped in excitement for my reaction on this one, because this is his favorite episode, I guess, and he did tell me “listen, this is peak Yugioh. It’s all downhill from here” and I was like “when were we uphill? Have we not been launched rapidly downhill straight from a Sonic-the-Hedgehog-style spinner since this series has started, whisking Yugi’s Grandpa’s soul through a VCR tape? Isn’t watching this series spiral out of control the whole point?”

Anyway, he gave me fair warning and I’m still not quite sure what happened this episode.

I mean I know what happened, I was here, I watched it, I watched it again to cap it, wrote some copy, edited it over with bro a bit, talked it out...

I’m still not sure what happened this episode.

Again, I get WHAT happened...it’s more...I don’t get...the laws of physics? Or Why certain people did certain things or...this episode, but that’s OK because it splattered all over the wall into this Rorcshach Test...and I don't know if the writers even want to bother explaining it. I mean...why bother at this point? We’re watching Yugioh. The main character is 50-99% definitely a ghost, don’t think about it.

First off, Marik’s boat.

Not pictured here: this room of this boat only has three walls. Marik is facing a steep drop into the sea, meaning that if there’s an rain or any waves or whatever, it just crashes directly into this room. If anything picks up the boat and kinda slams it around a bit, you just fly right out of this room and right out the back. I don't get this boat. I don’t get how you keep this room clean and free of nasty ass seagulls.

I don’t like boats and I don’t spend too much time on boats, so if this is normal and natural boat behavior, my bad.

In case you forgot, Joey is about to murder Yugi.

Every character on this show has run out of ideas and is onto their very last wit.

It’s just a whole lot of everyone pointing a card-shaped gun at each other and themselves and just shouting at the top of their lungs.

(read more under the cut)

And then the show does a sweeping half-episode review of every duel you have seen so far that had a Joey cameo in it. I mean...I guess it works. But it kinda feels like one of those filler episodes of Friends where they couldn’t come up with new content so they just did a “remember this cool thing that happened last season? haha, this isn’t a real episode” and so initially I was like “bro, I dunno if this episode is going to be as weird as you say it is.”

And so Joey decided he’s not going to kill his friend, but don’t be fooled, he’s still going to punch out many more people in the episodes to come, I am absolutely sure of it.

This is the first time Yugi’s decided to attempt to mind wipe someone without using Pharaoh. Aw. Kind of sweet, look at him grow up to be just like his Ghost Dad.

PS I just realized this, but why didn’t Yugi just mind wipe Joey!? It’s been heavily implied that he already has so many times--this seems like the one time Joey would have been totally OK with it. If I had a Marik situation in my brain, I would have been like, yes, please use the pharaoh ghost to break my brain into pieces, I’ll figure that whole recovery situation later, but at least I won’t be a murderer.

But whatever, they’re going to do it without magic, although Friendship is also magic in this universe. But the semantics are better.

Yugi uses his millennium cell phone signals to face chat with Marik. Kind of. This was probably just a visual analogy. I never know with this show, although Pharoah really did do a Shadow-world face chat with Pegasus last season like it wasn’t any big deal. Twice.

This whole 4 episode arc was just Yugi realizing last minute that Marik was wasting everyone’s time.

And once Yugi’s baited Marik into killing him before the time runs out, Joey lit up with bolts of crazy ass electricity as the Power of Friendship mindwiped saved Joey.

Almost half this episode is when the clock is at 30 seconds. There comes a point when you have to explain why your clock got stuck. Anyways, lets see what else we can do in 30 seconds:

So what will be the plan of Seto Kaiba, boy genius? What is this great master plan of the boy who can hack any system, who has a computer installed into every piece of clothing he owns down to his dockers and socks? The boy who once hacked a satellite and used it to crash all of the digital security systems in North America?

Blue Eyes’ only effective form: as a vehicle for a real nasty papercut. This will the only time I’ll accept a Blue Eyes win as canon.

I did a lot of math last episode that I don’t want to do right now, but how hard do you have to throw a card to do that much damage, and how fast would Seto Kaiba’s baseball pitch be, and how fast is that compared to the baseball pitches of My Hero Academia? I mean we have the stats on all of these things.

It’s a good thing for every one else on this cast that Seto Kaiba has never figured out what dating is. He would destroy them. Of course this is me saying that anyone on this show knows what dating is. Which they don’t.

Also, off screen he threw himself at the mook who is prone on the bottom right corner there. Kaiba just went ape out of no where. He stood perfectly still for about 3 episodes and then he just completely lost his nut all for...Tea?

Because Mokuba’s like “We owe Tea a favor because she failed to climb a bunch of empty boxes?” Like uhhhh way to really awkwardly over-return that favorrrr

Like we have to address the elephant in the room here wearing about 9 belts on all four of his limbs and torso. Seto may have a God card now, but he’s so enamored by his dragon that he’s still in this awkward phase where he really wants to cosplay as his dragon literally all the time but he’s hoping he can pass it off as normal fashion and no one will notice. Kaiba is clearly more involved with his Blue Eyes than anyone else on this show is involved with any other card.

So, the hell is he doing risking his literally irreplaceable Blue Eyes that launched the events of the entire first season?

I’m sure the creators didn’t intend for this to happen. I’m sure they were like “and then he threw his Blue Eyes, because that would be funny!” but when you break this action down, it makes Seto Kaiba--who is supposed to be The Worst--outshine Yugi this episode.

Like first off--Tea? Yugi x Tea is supposed to be the flagship of the show. But Yugi’s kind of tied up right now, so instead, Seto saved her? That pairing just came out of nowhere. And I’ll be honest with you, Kaiba x Tea makes more sense to me than Yugi x Tea, and that is pretty wild that this show made me think about those two in any context.

I mean, it’s not going to happen, the writers would rather just toss a ton of explosions at it rather than leave any space for anyone to talk to each other and say “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? Did you just seriously do that?!” That conversation would have been absolutely hilarious, but it did not happen.

This crane blew up not once, but TWICE.

PS, we have more proof here that this chair was really just a kinky chair because um...look how easy it is to get out of that thing. This is not a real lock.

And second weird thing about Seto tossing his Blue Eyes...

This entire card arc was about Yugi giving away that puzzle to Joey as this beautiful symbol. Yugi said “Listen, Joey, I’ve known you forever, you’re my best friend and you are the sun and moon to me, have the most precious thing I own, even if you throw it into the ocean and destroy it”

But, then on the other side of the harbor Kaiba’s like “Listen, person who’s name I don’t recall, I don’t really know you, I don’t care about you at all, have the most precious thing I own, and I’ll just throw it out over the ocean myself, and on top of that--I’ll destroy one of my own helicopters, too.”

Makes Yugi’s sacrifice look real chump, I gotta be real. Again, I don’t think this was intentional on the writers part, but it sure is a thing that happened and is canon now.

And then no one thanks him. They thank Mokuba instead. No wonder Seto freakin hates them all so much.

And while I was watching, I was thinking “well, Seto’s doing all this because he needs to save Yugi to duel him later” much like Seto’s been trying to do for nearly 10 episodes, but that whole thing where Seto followed Yugi around and was like “I will be dueling you after this is over” is no longer a thing. He gave up on Yugi after saving Tea. No explanation.

You know it feels like every 20 episodes or so, Kaiba will do something real nice and then immediately run away from the situation and switch back to being a jerk again. He’s kind of like a reverse Bakura, but without the ability to force everyone to forget. He’ll be awkwardly hanging back here for the rest of the episode pretending like he doesn’t like these people while Yugi’s off being the worst on the other side of the harbor. 

Remember, that Joey’s just snapped out of it, and a low flying helicopter caused a crane to freakin explode behind Yugi without any explanation. Twice. The crane exploded twice.

And then Yugi throws a fireball at himself before the timer hit zero.

I guess he had to do something to show up Seto Kaiba and the only other option left was death.

It was very tragic, and for once, Pharaoh wasn’t there to say anything. I guess the Pharaoh batteries have finally run out, and I’ll be real, the lack of Pharaoh in this episode does more to make this sad than if he was there saying how sad he was. It really is just Yugi there at that moment and we rarely get to see Yugi as just Yugi. I guess that was the way he wanted to be remembered rather than just a vessel for a ghost.

To be clear, this took like ten more minutes and the timer was at like 3 seconds for all of that but in context of the show, he died riiiight before both were tossed into the sea.

So this is exactly Seto and Mokuba S1, right? Like Seto was like “I will jump off his ledge to save my brother’s life!” and Pharaoh was like “WHAT TYPE OF ASSHOLE DOES THIS!?” ya, just checking.

So, ways to defeat Yugi Muto:

Threaten to kill yourself, Steal his stuff mid fight, Rock Paper Scissors, or threaten to kill Joey.

I just want to note that before Yugi tossed that fireball, he finally took the duel disk off. He was like “I gotta die, but I don’t want to die in that.”

Joey, who was very upset by Yugi’s brash decision, desperately looked for a way to save both of them did something that I don’t understand at all.

I’m not sure why the Red eyes attacked Joey (I guess it was a special skill?) But--the game’s over! You can’t lose after you’ve won! What even is the rules of this freakin game?

Whatever, it didn’t matter, Yugi absolutely cannot get hit by fireballs, it’s a real weakness for him. He is out for the count and cannot reach his own key.

Serenity, sensing her brother’s bravery, whisks off her bandages, and this is the first thing she sees.

Ya so.........

..........Yugi’s great wonderful sacrifice of his own life.....

....didn’t matter. Joey went in anyway.....

And that’s how Yugi got upstaged by Kaiba, yet again, in the same episode.

At least the person Kaiba successfully saved is here to start screaming at the ocean instead of like...swimming

In Joey’s defense, he was not there for the long, detailed explanation of how the key system works. He didn’t really know it wasn’t a one key fits all situation.

He’d be the smallest Whole Set in the world but the kid cannot sink. Like look at this. Look at how high this kid treads water without even trying. He’s got his armpits out of the water even. Should have given up the cards and gone to polo.

I love how we went through all that work to get Tristan here and he didn’t even do anything. He jumped in, pushed Yugi a little bit (who as I said before is a natural floater, it’s very impressive), and then Serenity did all the heavy lifting because I guess no one else on this show can swim?

Don’t they live in Japan? An Island? Isn’t it a requirement when you live on an island that gets tsunamis every so often that you must learn how to swim? Like I live in California that only has one coast and we learn how to swim real good. Like we learn all about rip tides and water safety, and we all end up doing the part-time lifeguarding job at least once.

Every single one of these people should be in the water and going after Joey, what is this bystander effect nonsense?

Hey so........she’s fully healed now?

RIP Kaiba x Tea, it was a very weird 2 minutes.

Which, if this guy ever dated, would probably be the tagline of all of his relationships.

Yes, this really was the moment Joey realized his sister could see. AFTER she dove in the ocean to pick him out.

This is real nitpicky but I just noticed the pier that Tea was gone is absent in all of these shots. Maybe they didn’t want to draw the aftermath of what happened to that crane.

Seto doing that anime thing where he’s hiding his eyes because he’s gettin freakin emotional in the back.

He’s all over the place this episode...I don’t know what happened.

And then to cap it off, they decided to watch a romantic sunset at the place where they got abducted, held in a warehouse, possessed by a cult, strapped to a bunch of bondage death devices, and then were nearly murdered at.

Also that ghost ship is still there and way spookier at night. Only Yugioh would be like “a perfect happy tapestry for friendship!”

Not only is Pharaoh still inexplicably here, but so is Kaiba. I guess he decided to hang out with them for like an hour until, at the first instance of Duke saying “CAN WE PLEASE JUST EAT DINNER LIKE NORMS!?” Seto very quickly spun on his heels and ran away as quickly as he could.

Ah, so the tourney continues tomorrow...it’s...this wasn’t the finale? Sure felt like it.

I just realized...the only thing you get is the chance to win a bunch of cards and just a title--a title that Yugi already owns, so if he hadn’t gone into the competition, then you’d have two people with the same title.

Like...is this entire tourney just a honeypot? But for cards? Is this whole tourney just a honeypot tourney?

Kaiba really is a cop.

Anyway, if you just got to these reviews, here’s a link to read them from Episode1 Season1, knock yourself out, it’s Halloween on a Wednesday, I know you’re not doing anything else.

[swiftwidget]

I talked about this with @aoimikans and on a discord channel Friday morning, but my thoughts were a bit everywhere and I was typing on my phone. So, I’m going to write it here now that I feel a bit more ordered. 

Izuku offering Mirio One for All was incredibly self-centered. 

***Before I go on, I will preface this by saying I know he’s a kid, he’s still learning, he still has room to grow, and I care very much about him as a character.*** 

EDIT: Izuku is also usually a selfless person. This does not change that but just shows he has some area of growth needed and needs counselling after a traumatic event.

Straight to the point. Izuku’s offer was selfish disguised as generous. 

At face value, Izuku offering OfA to Mirio who just lost his quirk could seem like a generous sacrifice - but with some uneasy undertones and the shock of Izuku offering to give it away. But it wasn’t generous. It wasn’t even kind.  

Izuku witnessed the death of Nighteye (a traumatic event, yes), and he felt guilty that 1) Mirio is quirkless now, 2) Nighteye’s wish for Mirio to be All Might’s successor was not fulfilled, and 3) he saw Eri’s accidental uncontrollable use of her quirk and Aizawa helping him as negatives. 

So instead of processing his guilt, his mourning, his trauma, he runs from it and takes the first out he sees: Offering to give Mirio his quirk. 

Now, he in no way meant to be hurtful, but that was a hurtful thing to do. On top of that, he did not give that an ounce of thought. 

We see him recall the moments when All Might told him he was quirkless too and believed Izuku could do something great with OfA and when he promised to twist fate. 

(Hell, Nighteye’s last words to him were to say he could change fate.)

Those were huge moments. Those were promises. Those were leaps and bounds of development! 

So what the hell happened? 

Izuku’s fatal flaw happened. This kid will move heaven and earth to help a friend. This kid genuinely wants to be a hero to help people and has the drive to do so. 

But as soon as he faces a setback that makes him doubt himself, doubt his “worthiness” of being All Might’s successor, he offers to give up. He has no strong confidence or faith in himself.   

We saw it after the Sports Festival before Toshinori told him he was quirkless too. We saw a bit of it before Toshinori told him he gave him the will to live again. (I fully expect a sit down conversation between them again in which they actually communicate because poor communication in stories to create unnecessary drama is such a pet peev of mine.) 

So what triggers these downward spirals? 

At the SF, it was losing to Todoroki despite helping him and freaking changing his life. Then it was the shock that there was a more experienced person being considered for One for All before him, and the doubt that followed him realizing All Might was keeping that information from him. 

This time?

He blames himself for Nighteye’s death. 

Let me pause here and clear something up. When I say self-centered and selfish, I mean it in two ways: 1) He is an immature kid still and in a way thinks the world revolves around himself in that the world is depending on him to save it. He is trying to take it all on his shoulders.* 2) He is incredibly analytical and this is the flaw of it. When he turns this critical eye inward, self-focusing, he only sees his flaws and perceived failures. That is an incredibly hard thing to deal with. (I know, I’m a perfectionist with severe anxiety, I know how harsh that inner eye is.) It can be paralyzing in the long run. 

With that in mind, let’s continue. 

Izuku feels guilt. Izuku is looking inward in this moment and only seeing his perceived failures, not his successes, not his growth. Izuku is too immature to properly deal with this sort of trauma without help. Izuku runs for an out by offering to give Mirio the quirk - to let the cup pass from him because he can’t deal in that moment. 

“Take this quirk because I am overwhelmed by my feelings of guilt. I want to throw this responsibility at someone apparently more worthy because they wouldn’t make the same mistakes as me, right? I want this grief, this guilt, this regret to go away and the first thing I can think of to get rid of it is to give away this quirk.”

Thank God Mirio is more mature and so incredibly kind.

He sees that Izuku hasn’t thought this through. He points out that Izuku would be suffering in his place in that case. He doesn’t feed Izuku’s developing martyr complex.** For that, he deserves all the awards. Despite losing the mentor that he had grown so close to, despite losing his quirk, he still looks out for Izuku in a way that is not self centered. That is one of the differences maturity and experience make. 

But, like I said. Izuku’s actions were hurtful. Izuku put Mirio in a situation where he was forced to comfort Izuku despite what he’s just suffered. Izuku didn’t see this because he was too wrapped up in his self deprecation he didn’t think about the outcome. Speaking of which...

Izuku didn’t think things through. 

If he gives up OfA now, he can’t become a hero.

I personally believe that Mirio could still be a hero. He’s had the opportunity to be trained and proved he can fight without his quirk. We’ve seen a number of non-combat based quirk heroes, and we’ve seen that heroes have some pretty amazing tech. 

Mirio could still manage it with the experience he has and some tech. 

Izuku can’t. 

He could probably fight a bit and outwit, but as he is now, he needs OfA to be a hero. And if he couldn’t be a hero? Then what? Then what? Hand in his provisional license? Drop out of school? Go back to before? Everything he’s worked for would be for nothing. If he took the time to slow down and actually think, he would see that. He’s a smart kid when he thinks before acting.  

What about All Might’s choice?

Yes, Nighteye just died. Yes, he wanted Mirio to inherit OfA. But that was never Nighteye’s decision to make. Not his quirk, not his decision. I’m honestly still salty about this. He raised Mirio to be All Might 2.0 - all the power and charisma of All Might with the added benefit of not being touched (read: stabbed through the gut). Mirio was raised to be All Might’s mirror. Looks a bit like him, similar mannerisms and charisma, his body was already trained, ... and they both lost their quirk defending a girl in harms way. And they both lost their mentor. 

The world never needed another All Might, but Nighteye didn’t see that.  

Nighteye didn’t respect All Might’s decision to return to hero work, he didn’t respect All Might’s choice of successor. And in both cases he lashed out and said something incredibly hurtful. That All Might was fated to die. That Mirio should have inherited OfA. (I’m still salty as the Dead Sea. (ง'̀-'́)ง I will fight someone.) 

Izuku - in his downward spiral - remembers his promise to All Might but offers the quirk anyway. He doesn’t believe in himself and by extension doesn’t believe in All Might’s choice to train him for 10 months and give him his quirk and his time and his devotion.*** 

Does... Does no one actually care what All Might thinks? (He has flaws and contributed to all this in a way but I’ll get to that in a second.) That his legacy is his to pass on? That he entrusted not only his own quirk but his predecessors’ quirk? That he’s a pretty damn good judge of character and to him Izuku has proved himself time and time and time again? Do his opinions, his thoughts mean nothing?

What about all the help and support he’s been given?

Izuku has made amazing friends and is an inspiration and driving force for his class. He saved Todoroki from his self-hatred, he saved Iida’s life, he inspires his class along with Bakugou, he is a driving force for Bakugou as well. He doesn’t hesitate to help others. But... 

But... He thinks poorly of himself when he needs help. He is overly critical of himself when he reaches his natural limit. He is overly critical when he is given help. He’s gone beyond humble and into self deprecation and blaming himself for things he cannot control. It’s part of his fatal flaw. Perhaps borne from Aizawa’s necessary scolding at the beginning and Recovery Girl’s decision to not help extreme, self inflicted injuries. He brought those on himself, and they were necessary lessons and reminders that he has limits. But he takes them to the n-th degree when he criticizes himself. 

The hypocrisy or paradox of this is he thinks no less of those he has helped, but does not apply that to himself. It is another kind of self-centered, critical thought that in his mind separates him from the others. It’s no good. 

If he were to give away OfA, he would be throwing away all the help and support he has been given. You don’t do that, kid... You just don’t. 

Izuku has a difficult fatal flaw, and if he isn’t careful he will end up like All Might.

All Might’s flaw that did him in was his drive for revenge against All for One for killing Nana. He caved to his flaw and was rewarded with the injury in his side and his forced, early retirement. The moment he stopped acting like a hero, he was punished by the narrative gods.

Izuku’s fatal flaw is his self doubt and lack of self confidence. He is overly critical of himself. He focuses on his perceived failures rather than his growth and successes. Despite this, he’s gotten off easy so far. He has been reassured by All Might twice. But had it been Aizawa listening in? What Izuku did there was so severe I believe Aizawa would have expelled him on the spot - or at least threatened to. Wishy-washy resolve doesn’t belong in a future hero. He urgently needs to address this. 

How to address this:

 I think we have another All Might and Izuku heart-to-heart serious talk coming. 

When I saw this image of Toshinori, I thought perhaps he felt frustrated or betrayed by what he heard. He just lost one of his oldest friends. He probably feels helpless since this was the first big raid that he couldn’t assist - and the raid and following police escort resulted in hero fatalities. And then he hears Izuku - the boy that gave him his will to live, the boy he believes in, the boy he has grown close to in a father-son way, the boy that promised to stand by him and help twist fate so he isn’t murdered - offer to give OfA away. He must feel like everything is slipping out of his control, everything he has lived is changing. He looks like he is in turmoil.  

@aoimikans​ had another take on the image. That All Might looked frustrated because he realizes he has neglected Izuku. Neglected to properly cultivate him and care for his mental well-being. And honestly, I am leaning toward this as well because he has shown that he is aware that the kids need to have their mental states cared for too (see: what he says to Aizawa after Izuku and Bakugou’s spat). 

I think this will lead to another good talk during which Toshinori will hopefully address and start to mend Izuku’s fatal flaw. To get him to realize how much he’s grown (like the before and after picture on the beach). To see his successes whether or not they are perfect successes. To get him to realize it is okay to need help (USJ, the summer camp, Kamino). To hug him and tell him that he is proud to have him as his successor.**** That Izuku needs to have more confidence and faith in himself. To help him healthily deal with loss and trauma (okay, maybe not Toshinori’s forte). To support him as he is. 

To take time to fix some of the flaws All Might contributed to: That Izuku doesn’t have to have the world on his shoulders from the get go. That he doesn’t have to take on responsibility for things out of his control. That he doesn’t need to be the next All Might, but needs to be himself - to do what he can as the hero Deku. To start chipping away at that martyr complex and self deprecating inward critical view of himself. So that the next time there is a setback, Izuku doesn’t go through the same damn motions and stunt his growth. 

My frustration

Honestly, the fact that Izuku keeps falling back into this same pattern without learning from it is really frustrating because dang it, he’s such a good kid and tries so hard. He just needs to have an ounce of faith in himself. Screw being “worthy” of One for All. Gran Torino was right, Izuku still sees it as more special than it is and that shackles him. He is a hero because of who he is and has grown into. One for All helped, but it is a tool, not anything sacred. 

tldr: *inhale* BOI

* A flaw in All Might’s teaching that by God needs to be addressed damn it. 

** All Might... talk to your son about this.

*** Mufasa voice:  “You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.”

**** I need quality Dad Might moments like I need water.

[paganchristian]

The neighbor cat and its friend, sibling?  We were playing with them, and they were chasing this bag, racing, leaping around the grass. The one is more dominant and the other stopped visiting us.  Maybe because the one is jealous and intimidates the other from coming.  :(  Even though they’re both so sweet.

We had a fire last night, again.  We have much firewood, coincidentally, because we a big oak tree fall on our property recently.  And the cat came and visited us, and sat beside us for hours.  But this time he seemed to be more aloof.  I’m not sure if he even has an owner, and I fear, I hope he’s ok, well-fed, safe, but I don’t want to steal anyone’s cat.  As far as I can see, he’s not too thin, but he’s a little on the thinner side though, it’s hard to say with cats, with fluffier ones, maybe, especially it would seem that under all that fur maybe they’re thinner than they seem. He just laid there or sat there instead of being so affectionate the whole time, like before.  Then I think he fell asleep and slept for hours as we watched our fire and time slipped like sand by some meditative change of perception or something, how it is that time slips pleasurably away, without knowing where it went.  

And we’re not even talking much, just watching the fire, and we’re not sleeping.  It’s like a time warp.  Few things can calm and soothe me like that, but spending time with a playful, affectionate cat, is one thing that also makes time disappear, and doing artistic crafty things too, sometimes.  Dance, yoga, qigong and tai chi and pilates.  Visions of love from spirit, when they save me from life’s stress.  Many things that work like this for others aren’t the same for me, gardening, music, movies, reading, walking in nature.  It’s not that I can’t enjoy them sometimes, even a lot of the time, with some of it (like walking in nature), but it doesn’t swallow time in a quickly elapsing hourglass of hours turned into minutes...  

And so with those other sorts of positive “time-wasting”, relaxing things, ...  With these other things, they don’t seem to be a safe haven in which I am able to lose myself..  Worries still writhe their way in, take over, destroy my peace, if I don’t have someone else to hold me in check, like my daughter, my husband, whose emotional stability keep me from abandoning healthy pursuits in favor of obsessive and escapist, addictive, imbalanced, fretful, self-destructive things, how it was when I was a housewife, before my daughter grew up into a relatable creature.  I was miserable before she was born and I was tormented after she was born, not happy as a mom of a baby, either, but I tried my best, and she did bring me much joy and love and I gave her much love too.  But still, I wasn’t happy, because I never did mean to become  a mother and was too depressed, ill and confused to manage well.  But after she reached a certain age, I had been gradually healed over many years of her loving, patient, childlike, unself-conscious, peaceful, patient, joyful, playful life,... 

Because I learned to become more and more of my inner child through her good example, and find the parts of me that can patiently, calmly enjoy fun things without feeling bored or guilty to be spending time just having fun. 

And spirit healed me over those years too, and that helped me become able to just enjoy life, without a torture of guilt and fear and meaningless anymore, bit by bit, without a heartless leaden weight consuming and casting itself like a drowning weight, keeping me mired in the mud.  Spirit still helps me like this, and more and more with this new Christian path, these new groups, the pagan-Christian compromise path I’m making for myself too, now.  

Spirit beings, over the years, ... they healed me with energy, with ideas, with spiritual practices, and bliss poured over me, and changed the cells of my being, in a chain reaction.  I don’t know how.  It changed me, my heart, my mind, my soul, without my conscious participation, as a feeling of sheer love just soaked through my being and changed me.  It was God, but before the Judeo-Christian God, it was in the form of Hindu deities, and before the Hindu deities, it was spirit guides and it was visions of beings, and sprits, other humans, astral projecting to heal me, at least that was what I experienced, not that the people ever said they did any such thing.  But all I know is it changed every fiber of my being.  Spiritual practice and ideas and philosophies too, changed every core of my being.  Every core of my being?  Well, I think so, ..

I think,..  I seem to have multiple beings, or multiple cores, a changing, oscillating, spiraling self, an orbit of selves.  Not multiple personalities, or dissociative identity disorder, but something else, more like aspects of the self.  That are very distinct and separate from each other.  And that need to be healed in different ways, and each have their time to come out and express themselves, or they will fester and mental illness, and physical illness and overall disorder will come from them.  That sounds weird, maybe, but it works for me. I was thinking why did I say, cores of my being, and I thought, as often my weird wording and other such odd coincidences happen for me, I find deep, satisfying and uncommon meanings and answers inside them. 

  And anyway, my daughter grew up to become more and more someone who is able to relate to my interests, ... whilst I was changing, becoming more of my inner child and learning to relate better to her interests, ...  And now we’ve come to a point where we kind of met in the middle, and now I’m a grown up mom who is still very childlike.  I hope she doesn’t outgrow me.  Lol  I want to help her to keep her inner child alive and well and thriving and maybe we’ll always have this inner child fun relationship together even once she is grown and we can connect that way,...

But yeah, these good and relaxing things that aren’t pure mediation for me , like the fire can be, those other things, they’re really at risk for being derailed,...  Even with the things that feel like meditation, I seem to need a companion to help to keep me from abandoning it.  

Worries and pains do melt away from me, somewhat, when we walk in the soothing nature and wilderness, yes,...  

But,...  it’s not that thick gloop of cooling, erasing pain feeling, pure meditation.  These other things are just meditative, without being pure meditation... 

But sometimes I don’t need pure meditation.  So I often prefer a less mellow thing.  I spend much time on many days doing walking, divination, doing homeschool with my daughter, that keeps my mind more engaged but tones down the worry spiral and keeps it under control and spiraled down into a coiled up snake that is just ever waiting to explode wildly when something can trigger it.

Why is it all these other things that are meditation for others aren’t for me?  I guess we all have our preferences and different things that work for us for different things.  And sitting meditation and breath meditation and no-mind, no-thought meditation, I do enjoy but these days I like something more to be going on in my meditation but in the past I would slip into these for hours, these meditation nothingness, no-mind places I could disappear from my self and worries and the world into them.  But being meditative or pure meditation is helped by the prayer, the continual background prayer that I do all day, almost, these days.  

Anyway, once the fire was done, last night, the cat woke up and was so very talkative, and I was so sad we had to go indoors and it was our bedtime.  It never talked so much before, continual little mrrr sounds, high pitched, adorable, sweet and eager.  What was it saying to us, anyway?  I think maybe, it was surprised it could sleep and wake up and there we still were.  It’s nice to sleep beside someone you love and wake up there with them.  There’s something magical.  It was purring all through its sleep too, sometimes sleep is so happy and rejuvenating.  A sleep filled with loving energy and dreams.  But I don’t know what it was thinking, I wonder. 

I feel like my life is boring, it is riveting and joyful to me, actually.  I feel my life is nonverbal, and mute, but for my daughter who spends most of the day with me, we actually talk about things through the day, but if I try to connect to my loved ones, then how will I connect?  I feel like I’m a boat lost at sea, so far away, so distant.  And if other boats pass by I feel I can’t reach out.  I’m in my own little boat.  I don’t know how to relate to them.  I am scared they need me.  When the people in the other boats shout out, I can’t answer.  I not only cannot bring myself to say much, as my mind is blank.  I even feel sad and weary to even hear them, to see them.  

I am an island, my little boat of my immediate family only, here with me in this boat of ours. My husband peripheral and I can’t talk to him either much, even if he’s in the boat and we spend a fair amount of time together, but distant and coldness is inevitable with our history and present as it is.  With the pain that can’t be erased, probably, ever.  So it’s mostly me and my daughter in my boat and my husband is just a peripheral navigator, taking us where we need, and he is sometimes a practical companion for certain things. A frightening character who we might need to leave behind if things ever get too crazy and his warning signs ever become something worse and realer, more dangerous, as they have been, in the more distant past, several years ago, for many years, when my daughter was very young and then before she was born, many years of horrible hell.  But for now, we live in the river and he’s our only boat and we have no boat without him, and may as well drown because I don’t think I can do it without him.  The depression might destroy me finally then.  Might, and I don’t want to test that theory, so I stay and I pray it away... Thinking this humiliation might be a design from God, a test to make me stronger through conflict and challenge, like I have written of before. 

And yet, with my other family and friends, still,...  I can’t shake this deep feeling, this yearning feeling, this eager and hopeful feeling, there is a promise and there’s a surprise and there is a secret here, waiting for me to unveil the present in it...  There is so much I have to offer, I know it, I know it.  And so I feel surely there is a way I can reach and share with them, my loved ones.  But how?  

My life is full and overflowing with joy and beauty, to me, to my daughter, but it feels our joys and beauties and pleasures and meanings aren’t something others can really get and appreciate, or how can they?  I don’t know how to share these homey, slow, childlike, tacky, cringey, dumb and simple things with others, even if to me they are beautiful, fulfilling, the height of meaning, love, beauty, creativity, intuition.  For me, but again, what works for one is not what is even tolerable to another.  How can I reach them?  How can I tell them to even be near them more often than just a few times a year,... that more time together with them than that overwhelms me, ...

Or how can I,... Or, can I change this horrible, sad reality of isolation and being such an island to those closest to me, except for one person, one child?  

And,...  How can I find what lets me bridge the gap to ever feel not drowned by another language I can’t speak, suffocated into silence and neglect?  Because that is how I feel around others.  Their sun wilts my self.  I don’t enjoy it all that much, but especially if I feel ignored and unable to speak my own voice.  I don’t feel they would really care that much about my self, I can’t reach out.   And how can I teach my daughter to learn how she can reach out to others, relate, connect and enjoy other peoples’ company as well, since we both need to have others who we can relate to in the real normal modern world so we’re not doomed to isolation and loneliness if we don't’ always have each other this close and so what do I do I wonder?  

But ...  Speaking of loneliness, .. 

I am much less lonely without the other people than I was, back then, when I depended on them and tried to reach out.  I never found solace and joy in them, try as I might.  Well, actually that is not entirely true, because in high school I had friends who were a lifeline in my otherwise completely miserable lost depressive existence, totally depth of despair day by day life.  But I was different then, they were different then, we were both teenagers, that was another world, another self, another life.  I can’t apply it to who I am anymore at all.