#yes how do you think i make all of my moshang aus?

[disgracefulthings]

Moshang Venom AU where Airplane is the venom symbiote, and he is absolutely a loser on his planet and on earth. He is absolutely pathetic and the person he stuck himself to, Mobei-Jun, thinks so too. Mobei-Jun is already pretty strong, but Airplane does give him some abilities, so he allows him to attach himself to Mobei-Jun. Airplane is always terrified by the things that Mobei-Jun does, but he goes along with it because it means that he can hold Mobei-Jun's tits (and the rest of his body) throughout it

[uhuraisgay]

fic writer meme

ty lore @megafaunatic for tagging meee :3c

How many works do you have on Ao3?

fifty three as of today. tomorrow? who knows.... (probably still fifty three)

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

518,435 words .... wrow.....

3. What fandoms do you write for?

historically its been all over the place but theres so much stuff rotting and dying in my gdrive that has never been posted so i feel like i have a broader actual ouvre than is represented on ao3. which is mdzs heavy at least in the past couple years

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. beyond all limit (wangxian i wrote for lore right after i first read the book) 4. if the story's over (moshang post-divorce get-together fic) 3. someone as good for me as you (written in 2016 for holster and ransom when i was reading check, please. LMAO) 2. at least as deep as the pacific ocean (written in 2015 in the clearest example of 'person distraught by the tragic ending of a tragedy misses the fucking point and writes a coffee shop au of achilles and patroclus after she read tsoa' ever, even bigger LMAO) 1. your name safe in their mouth (lsz gets his dad back, and other emotional adventures)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i used to try to reply to every comment i got but i stopped doing that around the same time i went to college and got more depressed. but i love reading comments and i sometimes reply if someone says something that moves me or like. asks me a question about the fic that i want to elaborate on? because i love to yap

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm not really good at writing straight angst i feel like it's normally like. angst with catharsis. but i wrote some explorations on grief in the past couple years that i feel like have the angst factor (what i have of you about nhs after nmj dies, and then when your beard fell out about my sweetie pie kageyama tobio in middle school after his grandpa dies)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i have a lot of silly fluffy fics... idk i try to toe the line mostly of like. the joys and sadnesses of human experience but sometimes you just gotta fluff it up. i'll set the table, you can make the fire, which is book verse aziraphale/crowley living in a cottage and being in love, comes to mind....i love that one

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i don't think i've ever really gotten hate on a fic? i have been extremely lucky in that regard. especially since my whole ouvre from like 2014 onward is on that damn site and much of it is very cringeworthy.

9. Do you write smut?

not well!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

i often will do like kind of a quasi-crossover kind of thing rather than a True Crossover wherein i take characters i like from one medium and plop them into the roles and places of characters i like from another medium. i did a dragon age wangxian fic where lwj was the inquisitor from da:i called we held together the fragile sky that kind of exemplifies this dynamic

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of or that anyone has ever notified me of, but i also don't look that hard. if this has ever happened, it would hurt my feelings, so please don't do it ? lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!!! and i was honored

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not as such but i have one not-intended-for-posting fic which is basically just a transcription of jokes i have with my roommate about haikyuu characters LOL which i think counts as co-writing. she's my co-writer in spirit even if i'm the one at the keyboard

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

my answer to this changes with every new fixation i have. like right now it's kagehina. if you asked me four years ago i would have said wangxian. You Know?

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

SO MANY...i think probably my fullmetal alchemist nie brothers au....i try not to post things until they are done and fully edited now, but that one was a whim-based fic that i lost all strength for as soon as i started thinking too hard about kagehina. i also had a fem nielan sci fi au that was vaguely based off beauty and the beast but nmj was like stuck in a ship and she thought she was its computer and that she was a program but she was actually a person....which i never posted any of except snippets on twitter and i think it was just too sprawling for my current skill level...i just was never able to wrangle it. but i am fond of it nonetheless

16. What are your writing strengths?

based on what other people have told me i would say the way i write sibling / family relationships, and while my prose is not always pretty i do think it can be pretty at times ...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i feel like it's often too self-indulgent even if that's what fic is for lol, and i tend to look back on fics and think, i wrote that because i had feelings about it and wanted to say it, but i'm not necessarily sure that This Character would say/do that at this point in time....idk like i fear that when i don't think about it hard enough my characterization can be weak or guided by what eye personally would do vs. what The Character would do. but some of that is because the majority of my fics on ao3 are from years and years ago and i (hopefully) have continued to improve

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

i'm picky about it but when it's done well i think it's really fun and builds so much of the world/character. i think when it's bad it's really bad. when i go about it i try to think about like, a) do i know this language myself/do i know someone who does. if the answer is no i try to keep it really minimal. b) how do people who know multiple languages approach speaking those multiple languages naturally in real life. like (IN MY EXPERIENCE) ppl don't tend to switch languages for random words mid-sentence unless those words are like, mom, dad, uncle, aunt, ect...maybe swearing if they're less familiar with one of the languages and don't know slang/swearing in it...but again when it's done well it's really good and i'm not an expert. i just can kinda tell when it feels off when i read it, if that makes sense...(it's the same way i feel about grammar lol. sometimes i can just tell it's a little Off)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

probably either fma or soul eater or the sister's grimm book series when i was in middle school. or maybe doctor who? idk i had a lot of fanfic notebooks that i have since destroyed and then regretted destroying

20. Favorite fic you have written?

at the present moment it's in these coming years my kagehina love letter but again i feel like it changes constantly. like the more i write the better i get and the more the newest/most polished thing i've written sort of Becomes my favorite just by default of my satisfaction level with it. sorry if that's a bad answer

tagging @yuebings @dcyiyou @burins @cairoscene @cafecliche @perilously sorry if you've been tagged already also if you want to do this and i didn't tag you just say i did. I'll shut up now

[breadandblankets]

20 questions writer meme.

thank you @crimsonrainseekingflower for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

26

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

101,970

3. What fandoms do you write for?

MXTX (SVSSS, TGCF), Fallout, Batfam, Bungou Stray Dogs, and i just started writing for S & D Tier

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the window to the soul (and other such fallacies): scumplane fixit/romance told through weekly tea breaks i fell in (to a burning ring of fire): moshang fast burn strangers to married in under 5 hours a conversation i just can't have tonight: moshangliu chronic pain au pt 1 extreme hurt very little comfort and all this devotion I never knew at all: tgcf he xuan gets Hugged!!!! Agenda!!!! this has baby ghost kings and cuddles and v strong XL til the morning when it's time for us to go: msl chronic pain au pt 3 shangliu dates extreme fluff very little hurt, except for mbj he's suffering

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! usually!! i just like to let people know that i am appreciating their appreciation.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

thats fucking Hard cause i put some of them svsss boys thru some Shit, probably life is a current which cannot be fought which is less a fic and more of an archived twitter thread in which SQQ gets angsty drafts of PIDW and are trying desperately to stop it only for it all to go horribly wrong and everyone dies! it ends with cumplane! cause im evil! i should reformat that into something readable tbh

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

besides my hugging ghost kings agenda uhhh probably my dear atlas (let me hold the sky for you) which is a tianlang-jun/yue qingyuan crushing (like the cuddling method)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

yep! i delete it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes i do! any kind really, ive got everything from trans lesbian threeways to getting dommed by an actual literal computer tower (and a soft spot for tianyue which features a penis haver using a strap on)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

only one! its ongoing and a tgcf/dc fusion in which jason todd comes back as a ghost and gets trained by HC and HX (with secret guest appearance from BWX if anyone is paying attention ;) ): so i can find someone to rely on (and run to them)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no? i dont think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but i have had someone make a podfic!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

if you count twitter threads? or someone coming up with an idea and i expand on it? otherwise nope

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

impossible choice but uhhh idk maybe moshang? maybe?

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

in the morrows, good mourning a moshang serial killer/mortician au, unless i get some surge of inspiration its pretty much dead in the water (unless someone wants to finish it 🥺🙏)

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue/voices

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

whatever the fuck they're doing During the dialogue

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean i do my best, i prefer to have it translated in line

19. First fandom you wrote for?

doctor who by hand in a notebook lmao

20. Favorite fic you've written?

recently ghost jason! other than that if someone would only want to be sweet and kind (nsfw)

Tagging: @livingmeatloaf @owldork1998 and anyone else who wants in!!!

[monroeknoxwrites]

20 questions writer meme.

Thanks @jaggededges123 for tagging me

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

currently 181 (I deleted bunch of fics this year)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

358, 578 at the moment (see above)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly danmei and cdramas: svsss, mdzs, tgcf, nirvana in fire, qianqiu, the sleuth of the ming dynasty, devil venerable also wants to know, sk8, stranger things, erha, word of honor, guardian

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Worth More than Silver and Jade, moshang dragon au, 2.5k

One More For Dinner, hualian + baby wwx modern au, 700w

Late Night Discoveries, moshang modern au, 800w

Softness Stirring in the Heart Despite the Awful Clamor, bingjiu canon divergent au, 4.8k

Reward, bingqiu pwp, 1.3k

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

hmmm well... my social battery for fandom has dipped considerably in the past year or so, making it hard to think of what to say besides "thanks!". of course this means I have an enormous backlog of read and appreciated comments without a response😥

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The Journey Home, The Hollow Victory or Hold the Horrors Close with Both Hands

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

a much harder thing to pick than angst, A Chance to Have More I guess??

8. Do you get hate on fics?

yeah but far less than you'd expected for what I write. maybe 3 or 4?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes and all kinds: tender, noncon, horror, comedy, angsty

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

sometimes. I usually only do it with characters belonging to the same creator but from different media

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, I was asked to translate my fics into russian a few times

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, I don't really think that would work for me?

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

inapplicable to me, I'm too much of a multishipper

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my subs would hate to hear this but prob the mpreg moshang longfic. I originally wrote it for a big bang that I dropped and the current chapters were all pre-written. very dubious if I'll ever feel motivated to finish it

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm told my characterizations are spot on

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue and word variation

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

as long as you know the language, it should be fine. I try to avoid it for obvious reasons

19. First fandom you wrote for?

um slayers(anime)? sailor moon? all my old fics were deleted by one purge or another, I cannot remember them at all now

20. Favorite fic you've written?

the fic I deleted

I'll tag @tehri, @crimsonrainseekingflower, anyone else who feels like it

[grimfiendfyre]

Moshang AU where as a kid sqh was lonely and didn’t have any friends so he spent most of his time creating characters and stories since he was young, but he keeps having these strange dreams that feel so life-like where he keeps meeting the same person over and over again. He can’t touch anything in the dreams and nobody seems to be able to see or hear him except one boy. As the years pass and he starts writing more and more, he bases one of his big stories on the world of his dreams. Since he was a kid, he realizes that most people don’t have such reoccuring dreams like he does and a lot of people and other kids think he’s weird or something is wrong with him when he talks about his dreams so he stops talking about them and keeps them to himself. He thinks of the boy in his dreams as an imaginary friend that he must have made up out of his own loneliness. 

Meanwhile, the first time Mobei Jun meets this strange boy who appears to either be dead or some type of spirit is when he is a child in the water prison of Huan Hua Palace. At first Mobei Jun is terrified of the spirit thinking it might harm him too, but then he sees the spirit yell at the cultivator who hit him to leave mbj alone and stop picking on someone smaller than him. Imagine small 6-7 year old sqh just trying to kick the cultivator’s shin, but his leg keeps passing through the person’s body like he’s just a ghost or something. Even though sqh is like ‘this is all a dream’ he can’t help but feel bad for this boy in his ‘dreams’ so he tries to comfort the boy and stays with him until mbj is eventually rescued. Does small mbj hold onto the only kindness and comfort given to him in such a terrifying situation after being betrayed by his uncle? Absolutely. From that moment after the Huan Hua Palace incident, every night sqh falls asleep he appears in mbj’s world usually somewhere close by where mbj is. Young mbj and sqh becoming each other’s only friends. I feel like the more time passes sqh starts questioning what is real and what is fake. Sqh warning mbj of assassination attempts. Sqh spying on suspicious members of the court, uncovering schemes and plots against mbj because he can literally follow them and listen in on their conversations without anyone being able to see or hear him. Mbj being able to trust and confide in sqh without having to doubt if sqh may one day betray him because no one else can even see or hear sqh so even if sqh wanted to betray him he physically wouldn’t be able to. But mbj would trust him even if he was able to be here physically and could interact with others because sqh has shown over and over again that he cares for mbj. Sqh telling mbj all his fears, doubts, and insecurities because he thinks this is all a dream so he’s like ‘I feel safe enough to tell him these things’ because he’s not actually ‘real’.

As they get older there are times when sqh doesn’t show up for one or two days in a row and when he does he always appears tired and weary with dark circles under his eyes and his usual round cheeks a bit thinner than they normally are and it makes mbj worried!! (Sqh needing to pull all nighters to finish chapters of his story to get paid to make enough money for rent and food means no sleep). Does mbj worry that one day sqh will just disappear forever and never come back when he disappears? All the time. Does he also wish that sqh could be alive and living here with mbj in his world? also yes. Mbj falling in love with sqh, pining for a person who can never physically stay with him, but it doesn’t stop mbj from pondering the what-if scenarios of them being married, with sqh as his consort. What it would be like if sqh didn’t have to randomly disappear without any warning (when sqh wakes up)? Sqh also falls in love with mbj too, but he’s still in this weird place where he thinks mbj is just his imaginary friend/crush since he thinks this is all still a dream and also what are the chances that mbj grew up to be exactly his type both physically and in demeanor, sqh is like ‘obviously my lonely brain created the perfect man/crush out of my subconscious’. 

I’m also imagining how cute it is for young mbj to excitedly show sqh around the ice palace and mbj feeling happy to see the other get excited over every little thing. It’s odd how some of the everyday mundane things around the place make sqh gasp in excitement, but mbj finds it oddly endearing. Imagine mbj taking sqh sightseeing around the demon realm and going to festivals together over the years both in the demon realm and also some in the human realm. Sqh telling mbj he just HAS to try this or that food from the food stalls at the festival because he can’t do it himself so mbj has to try it and tell him what it tastes like! Can you just imagine sqh whining that he wants to be able to try all these foods and for some reason mbj feels his heart skip a beat when sqh looks at him with a pout. How much he wishes sqh could really be here with him, that he would buy sqh a whole stall worth of food if sqh asked for it, how much he wishes to dress him in his clan’s colors, to know what it would feel like to touch his hand. He imagines it would feel warm since sqh appears to be human, and warmth should be uncomfortable for an ice demon, and yet it is that warmth that mbj craves and wants so badly.

Things change though when sqh arrives in the middle of an assassination attempt that almost succeeds and a knife is about to stab mbj in his unguarded back that’s moving much too quickly and sqh in desperation moves without thinking to block the knife with his body even though it would have just gone right through him, but something changed and he felt incredible pain as a knife stabs him in the shoulder. Mbj only catches the shocked expression on sqh’s face before he disappears, the knife that was in him only moments ago clattering on the ground still stained with blood. Mbj makes quick work of the assassin killing him and cradles the knife like it might shatter or disappear as well. Mbj keeps the dagger without cleaning the blood off letting it dry permanently onto the blade as it is now a stark reminder and symbol that sqh is real and that somehow if he can bleed and get stabbed in his world that means there is a way that sqh can be here physically. That knife is a symbol of hope to mbj and he keeps it with him like a prized treasure. Meanwhile, right after he got stabbed, sqh wakes up abruptly in his bed in his apartment and feels agonizing pain in his shoulder and looks to see blood quickly soaking his shirt from what appears to be a stab wound, but with no evidence that someone had broken in or that he somehow could have accidentally stabbed himself in his sleep. As he is laying in the hospital getting treated for a stab wound, he is internally panicking and freaking out that his dreams are more real than he ever previously thought and that means that whole world and mbj are real!! On one side, hooray that he wasn’t losing his mind like everyone else used to say about him! On the other hand, holy shit that means he has been half existing in another world for most of his life!!

[writing-frenzy]

Plz let Airplane be awesome- Fic Rec

So I have a hankering for our favorite disaster of an author plz and thx. I went searching, daydreaming, and sometimes down right spelunking for some of that good Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky character fics. Did I also find some good tasty Moshang on the journey? Yes and it was good.

So, here is a place for all the treasure I managed to collect. Hope You all enjoy!~

(And any recs for more goodness will be fully accepted, plz!)

A Well Wherein Serpents Are Coiled by Nighthaunting - I am poison / And you will drink me / And you should be so lucky

Shang Qinghua transmigrates into his own terrible novel as a baby. The fact that this seems to be a world based on his first draft, where things actually happened and the plot did matter, is less than comforting. Having a second chance is nice, but ending up as cannon fodder and dying offscreen are the last things he wants to do. The only way to avoid his 'canonical' fate is to do as the System demands and try to fix his mistakes from within the world he created. Somehow this ends up with a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Luo Binghe as an An Ding Peak disciple, because writing about a kid being miserable and seeing a kid being miserable are apparently two entirely different skillsets.

The best, my heart will not move on, I am sinking with this story, it has consumed me and all I can say is ‘thank you, but can I go even deeper?’ like... it has the best world building I have ever seen for any SVSS fanfic, it is canon in my mind and I just end up loving An Ding Peak even more? like wow, I did not know that was possible. Read the fic and the only regret you will have is that you have reached the last updated chapter so soon.

-

pride is not the word I'm looking for by Tossawary - A Pre-Canon Canon Divergence fic. Shang Qinghua goes to take a self-indulgent peek at his baby protagonist son and gets a kick to the shrivelled heart for his troubles. Ahhh~! He gave up on changing canon or preventing character deaths years ago! What is he doing, helping his protagonist son's adoptive mother like this?

This story, this story, was one of the two to make me so damn hungry for all the Airplane!Shang Qinghua goodness. It leaves me wanting for more. (Also, give Airplane more family bonds and friendship, make our favorite little disaster feel things.)

-

it must follow, as the night the day by Tossawary - Airplane Bro transmigrates into his own web-novel only to find out that the System messed up his world! Shang Qinghua is a demon in this world! All the characters supposed to be humans are demons in this world! And all the characters supposed to be demons are...?Moshang's first meeting in a Role Reversal AU.

Look, if I mention their first one, of course I have to mention the amazing Role Reversal au; I can’t not miss this beautiful piece of Demon!Airplane awkwardness of being hot for the icy cultivator who could easily gut him in a second. it is so good, I love.

-

The An Ding Peak Lord's Holy Cheat Sheet by JerichoJaspersJeromeJr - There's a dozen basic things that Shang Qinghua should know but somehow doesn't. There's a hundred mysterious secrets that Shang Qinghua knows even when he shouldn't. There's a thousand profound mysteries that Shang Qinghua knows even when no mortal should. Mobei-jun has noted it all.

*Cackles* Kneel before our mighty god Airplane!  

-

Keep Your Friends Close by HeavenlyDusk -  The one where Shang Qinghua and Scum Villain Shen Qingqiu become friends, except neither of them really know what friendship actually is.

This series, by all good fiction is so damn great! I live for this disaster friendship of Shen Jiu and Airplane (and only shit, I shouldn’t laugh, but cockblocking Shen Jiu is not something I expected, but Gives me a mighty need, even if he made it his mission for Moshang to never happen.)

-

The Eye of the Emperor by fishpoets -  The attention of Great Lord Luo Binghe is not something to be coveted.

Now, this is Mobei-Jun’s POV in this one-shot, but just how soft he is with his hubby is so cute, and we get to see Shang Qinghua being a sneaky crafty and protective of his own hubby. for all of Luo Bingge’s threating aura, I can’t help but grin at how this couple, so determined to be there for each other, and ready to plot. 

-

A Political Match by tuesday - It was the day of Shang Qinghua’s wedding, and he was going to be sick.

So... BL author Shang Qinghua accidently seduced his fav character, Mobei-jun, the fic. my only regret is that there isn’t more.

-

unplanned by fencesit - Shang Qinghua doesn't mean to do it. Okay, okay, from the outside he totally gets how it looks purposeful. Definitely! It definitely looks like he planned it really carefully! Like, you can't just slip and whoops break someone out of Huan Hua Palace's Water Prison, you know?

:D Alternate first meeting and a tasty prison break? go get yo man my disaster fav.

-

Sea foam and grenades by Sunnystar - Long before the Peaks were known for their esteemed cultivation, An Ding had another title. [A world where Shang Qinghua goes off plot for his children disciples.]

Ow, oww, owwww owwwwwww ouch! be prepared to have your heart pickled before your eyes, before it is roasted over an open fire and then promptly eaten before you. and with the left over crumbs of it left over, still find no, you have not had enough, you need to make sure your tear ducts are still existing after all... Just, make sure you mind the tags with this story, because it gets dark, bits of fluff seen here and there to at least trick you into thinking there is still a light hanging around. it is a lot to take in, but oh man are the emotions delicious even as I have to take breaks from this story because of all the feeling I have to face.

---

So, there ya have it; might have more added in the future, but for now, I at least wanted these up. Part Duo Here~

And feel free to add more, I am always up for more of our boi!

[lesyah]

moshang childhood friends to lovers au pt. 4

Hello! here is a fic that was posted to my twitter. it has songs to go along with it from my twitter. If you’d like to look at the songs for each part, or just check out my twitter (where I have threadfics and other twitter fics not posted here), feel free to do so!

part 4 [age 18]

Shang Qinghua was absolutely losing his mind. He had definitely not spent enough time considering how long it would take to put together a comprehensive presentation on how to identify different kinds of rocks. He also definitely didn’t spend enough time trying to figure out what it was he really wanted to do. Mobei Jun wanted to do horticulture and Shang Qinghua did not want to do anything even close to horticulture. But he had no idea what he did want to do, so he had just went with biology. The school they went to had a good biology program, so it seemed only natural for them to attend together.

Shen Yuan ended up at a different school closer to home and was going for business. He insisted that staying close to home had nothing to do with Luo Binghe, Shang Qinghua! But alas. He remained close to Luo Binghe while he finished secondary school.

Because of this, Shang Qinghua really did only have Mobei Jun. Being in school had not helped him with his anxiety, or the loudness he sometimes felt. Mobei Jun had always helped that when they were growing up, but now it was intense enough that it didn’t really help as much as it used to. But maybe a part of that was the fact that Shang Qinghua was completely in love with him, and sometimes being near him brought on a different kind of anxiety.

Shang Qinghua now sat in the library. It stayed open late, thankfully, as if it knew Shang Qinghua was coming and that he would need to stay up until at least 3am to get his presentation completed. He stared at his petrology book and tried not to be too bitter about his poor choice for a geology fill. 

He was busy trying to focus up when a slightly cold hand brushed across his neck. He jerked so hard that he gave himself a muscle cramp in his leg. He looked up and saw Mobei Jun standing next to him. He squeezed his neck once, comfortingly, and held out a cup. It was a warm coffee.

Settling his heart into a different kind of fast-paced, Shang Qinghua reached out to take it. He smiled a little. “Hey. Thanks.”

Mobei Jun sat across from him and pulled out his own homework. 

“You have much work to do?” Shang Qinghua asked, taking a sip. It was warm and sweet, just like he liked it. He took another sip, scooting closer into the table.

“A little,” he said, pulling out a notebook and pen. “I have vocab to work on for a test tomorrow.”

Shang Qinghua stared at him from across the table, a little entranced by the way his long hair fell in wisps on the side of his face, falling from the loose bun at the back of his head. Shang Qinghua could look at him forever. 

Mobei Jun looked up when he noticed that Shang Qinghua wasn’t moving. “What?”

Shang Qinghua blinked a few times, definitely in a homework-induced haze. “Uh, nothing. Just. I’m glad you’re here.”

He rested the side of his head on a fist as he looked at him, a small smile on his lips. “Where else would I be?”

Shang Qinghua looked back down at his book to hide his flush. Everything was always more raw in the middle of the night. In the daylight, they were covered by a fog, where it was easy to behave like friends do. It was easier to joke and laugh and be casual. But at night like this, when the fog lifted, there was nothing but skin and bones between them. 

Mobei Jun watched Shang Qinghua across the room. He was speaking in a hushed voice, but he could hear everything that was being said. It was impossible not to, in the tiny dorm. Shang Qinghua was practically huddled in the corner, trying to become as small as possible. Mobei Jun ached to go over, to unfold him and reach into him to pull all of the bad things out.

“I can’t.” His voice was wearying, cracking down the middle.

Mobei Jun frowned, an urge to grab the phone and tell whoever it was who thought they could tell Shang Qinghua what to do exactly what he thought about that. But he didn’t even know what was being discussed.

Shang Qinghua’s voice did that thing, where he began to whisper, to hiss, to hide the face that it was too weak to speak normally. It was the voice he used when the fault line inside of him opened and he always fell through it. Mobei Jun wished he could catch him more often.

“You don’t understand,” he whispered. “You don’t understand,” he said again, gripping the phone so hard his fingers went white. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin. What to do. I can’t do it alone. I can’t.”

Mobei Jun couldn’t help it anymore. He stood up and stepped closer. What couldn’t Shang Qinghua do alone? What made him think he’d have to do anything alone? When he and Shang Qinghua had been together ever since—

“Mobei,” he said, turning to look up at him.

“What?” He whispered, trying not to let the other person hear him. “What’s going on?”

Shang Qinghua looked at him, eyes wide and teary. Mobei Jun took another step forward. He held up a hand and reached out. Mobei Jun grabbed it immediately and Shang Qinghua squeezed his hand. He turned his head away as he went back to the person on the phone. “Yes, he’s here. What did you think?”

Why was Mobei Jun involved in this conversation? He squeezed his hand back.

There was a buzzing that came from the phone, and it sounded just like all the other buzzes, but something about this buzz had Shang Qinghua freezing, had him shudder, had him cry. He abruptly hung up and tossed his phone away. He stood there for a long moment, still turned away from Mobei Jun. Without looking up, he spoke very softly. “I need to talk to you.”

Mobei Jun felt anxious. He tugged on him. “What is it? You can tell me anything, you know that.”

Shang Qinghua turned to him finally, but wouldn’t meet his gaze. He gripped onto his hand like he’d float away without it. He stared at his chest as he spoke. “I’ve given it some thought.” He swallowed. It was quiet between them as Mobei Jun waited. “I…”

“Tell me,” he said desperately.

“I’m not coming back to this school next semester. I’m going to transfer.”

Mobei Jun blinked, chest growing cold. “What?”

“I’m not happy here,” he whispered, like he was trying not to cry again. He still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I think I want to study literature. They don’t have a literature program here.”

White noise erupted in Mobei Jun’s head. “So…So you’re transferring where?”

“There’s a good program where Shen Yuan goes to school. I’m going—I’m going there.”

“That’s hours away,” he whispered. 

“Yeah.”

“You aren’t happy here?” The with me was left unsaid. 

“No,” Shang Qinghua said, face finally scrunching up as he began to cry. “No, I’m not happy.”

It was only their first semester. They’d never been apart longer than two weeks. Now four years stared them in the face, large and heavy.

Mobei Jun swallowed, pressed his thumb into Shang Qinghua’s smaller palm, where it was soft and pliant beneath his. “Well…I want you to be happy. If that’s what will make you happy…then do it. I’d support you in anything.”

Shang Qinghua stepped into his chest. Mobei Jun wrapped his arms around him and stared over his head at the wall. Now it really did feel like Shang Qinghua was floating away.

[tossawary]

Chapter 19: “Weddings and Funerals” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” random favorite lines with commentary because I’m doing a re-read. Not a full list or full commentary. 

-

 When Shang Qinghua told Mobei-Jun that he didn’t need Shen Qingqiu assassinated, it wasn’t because he thought everything would somehow work out if he just sat back and didn’t do anything. It definitely wasn’t because he was planning a so-called “perfect murder” and didn’t want the demon lord messing up his plans. The Problem of Shen Qingqiu has always been a lot more  complicated than “just get rid of the guy potentially making my nephew’s life a living hell”. That’s why it’s a real problem! 

- 

AN: Shang Qinghua’s thought process: “Can this problem be solved by: 

A) Waiting for the problem to go away? 

B) Murder? 

C) None of the above? 

If the answer is C... 

Fuck, it’s a real problem.” 

- 

 Shang Qinghua thinks that might actually be possible, though he’d have to do some research and smack his head until his Author God memories hopped into line. He thinks that the youth-restoration procedure would probably do the job, but he also thinks that Shen Qingqiu would probably rather be dead than be physically sixteen again or something (super fucking understandable) and have to start the cultivation process over from scratch (ah, that would be so annoying and embarrassing). 

- 

AN: Given that I actually invented a de-aging potion for this fic (if one that’s difficult to put together), the AU of “Original Shen Qingqiu is physically 16 again” has been rattling around inside my head ever since I wrote these lines. Shen Qingqiu was like, “Wait, let me picture how unbearably overprotective Yue Qingyuan would be... hmm... no, I’ll just stay like this.” 

- 

 Luo Jiahui seems a little anxious about the empty spaces at the table, but she fills the space as best she can by chattering about assorted restaurant business. At least until she abruptly takes a deep breath and says, “Hua-Ge, I have something to tell you.” 

 Shang Qinghua freezes in the middle of taking a drink. His unhelpful brain immediately races to guess the worst possible conversational subjects. His sister-in-law has somehow figured out that he’s a transmigrator?! His sister-in-law has decided that her son is not going to the Demon Realm under any circumstances?! His sister-in-law knows Binghe better than he does and has realized that the young protagonist is being abused after all?! Oh,  fuck, what is it? 

 “I’m getting married!” Luo Jiahui announces, breathlessly. 

 “Oh,” Shang Qinghua says, heart rate going at the speed of sound. “Wait,  what?” 

- 

AN: This chapter is why I didn’t go into the details of LJH/LQG in the last chapter, immediately post-timeskip. I wanted to blindside everyone with an “Oh, it’s THAT serious?!” moment. The last chapter established that “SQH is handling things”, then this chapter establishes that, as the plot goes on, “SQH is only barely handling things”. Which helps prep the following breakdown with the System World Update in chapters 20-22. 

- 

 “You didn’t have any time for yourself,” Shang Qinghua agrees, following this conversation of very obvious things that he already knew so far. He didn’t have any time for himself back then either, between organizing a conference and finding a cure on top of the usual day-in-day-out of the sect. “You did a really good job looking after them all by yourself!” 

 “They don’t always agree with that,” Luo Jiahui says, smiling but self-deprecating. 

 “Aha, well, they’re young.” 

 The disagreements of what was best for the children is why Shang Qinghua really had to get Fanli (who didn’t see herself as a child) out of the house by any means necessary. He was at a bit of a loss at how else to help. She was never part of  Proud Immortal Demon Way! Not even as a fragment of backstory mentioned in passing! Shang Qinghua struggles to compensate for these extra people who were never characters sometimes. 

 “Qingge was very understanding,” Luo Jiahui says. “But… well… then Fanli was gone and I had the restaurant keeping me busy, but that was all my own choice… and what good was waiting really doing us? It didn’t have to be everything or nothing. So… we talked… about what we wanted and what- what we were afraid of… and we decided to go forward slowly.” 

- 

AN: I said in the Author’s Notes on AO3 that I was going to use Jiage to shame Moshang and Qijiu, and I meant it. TALK TO EACH OTHER!!! Shang Qinghua, you need to talk to Mobei-Jun about what you want! Shang Qinghua, you can’t keep putting things on hold because of the plot! 

- 

 No offense to either his sister-in-law or his junior martial brother, but aren’t love stories supposed to be a little more… fiery? 

 “When I was younger, I thought that falling in love was supposed to be all excitement and passion and not being able to live without someone even for a second,” Luo Jiahui admits, a little wistfully. “I thought that it was supposed to be thinking about them all the time, not being able to stay away from each other, and needing to know what they’d been doing every second they were away. It was like becoming a completely different person. I thought that being in love was about one of us getting horribly jealous every time we even talked to someone else, doing things I didn’t really understand and changing myself just to keep him happy, and keeping secrets and sneaking around just to keep things from exploding. Because love is not being able to help yourself like that, right?” 

 Shang Qinghua can’t really manage to speak right now. 

 It’s like someone has cut his fucking throat. 

 Which is fine! 

 “But that ended really badly for me,” Luo Jiahui says, with a nervous huff at her own understatement. “It was very exciting, but looking back, being in that kind of love was also very frightening sometimes… and it was a little lonely too… being in love with someone I couldn’t really talk to or trust.” 

-

AN: This is more specifically vagueing SVSSS Bingqiu than Moshang, but it’s also shaming Moshang too. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky wrote some extremely messed-up romances and he would have said, “Yes! It’s all super messed-up! That’s kind of the point!” But it also means that the man can’t really conceptualize (at least at first) or articulate the kind of relationship he would actually be happy to have with Mobei-Jun, especially when his relationship with Mobei-Jun had such violent beginnings 

- 

 The first person he tells himself is, weirdly enough, Qi Qingqi. Liu Qingge apparently already told both Liu Mingyan and Luo Fanli before he left, so Shang Qinghua heads over to see how the girls are handling it. (Also, he wants to pump Liu Mingyan for information on her mother’s opinions on weddings and marriage, in a really pathetic attempt to ready himself for the rumble.) He makes her agree to keep the information to herself before telling and she does, like a bro! 

 And then he tells and she laughs in his fucking face! Eventually, she realizes that he’s looking for sympathy, he’s not just here to let her enjoy his suffering, as a form of payment after everything he and Liu Qingge have inflicted on her. Then she laughs at him again, even louder. 

 Sure, he’d laugh too if he was in her shoes! But not to her face! Rude! 

 - 

AN: Qi Qingqi also pointed while laughing, I think. It’s funny because it’s not her dealing with Liu Family shit this time. 

- 

 Shang Qinghua expected, this time last year, to be laser-focused on the plot! His attention was not going to stray even a little bit, he promised himself; he was going to be 110% dedicated to making sure that everyone he tripped into caring about made it through the least shitty version of  Proud Immortal Demon Way  possible. He was going to be a  machine  of a transmigrator! No distractions! All he wanted was for his family to make it through the quickest, least shitty bare bones of a plot! And he was going to  achieve, damn it! 

 Instead, he finds himself planning his sister-in-law’s wedding and it eats up time he didn’t fucking know he had to give. Immortal Alliance Conference, eat your fucking heart out! Cang Qiong Mountain Sect? Did he work there? Nope, he’s never heard of the place! He’s the Peak Lord of wedding planning now! 

- 

AN: This is me telling myself I’m going to get my life 100% together and then getting into a new video game and baking cookies instead. Or ditching my housecleaning plans to hang out with friends at a moment’s notice. 

- 

 At the wedding itself, Fanli tells her sister’s father-in-law that Binghe is also  very into birds and Shang Qinghua’s nephew spends a good chunk of the rest of the celebrations (and his precious time away from Qing Jing Peak) held hostage by his own politeness, listening to his new grandfather earnestly tell him about the various migration habits of demonic birds. 

 Well! Better him than Shang Qinghua, honestly! 

-

AN: Inspired by that time we went on vacation and one of my brothers got mistaken by one of our travelling companions for a budding serious birdwatcher instead of someone who just thinks they’re neat - and also likes to point at them and intentionally call them by the wrong name. 

Also, LQG’s Dad in this fic and SY would probably get along super well. 

LQG and his dad in this universe have gone out on month-long camping trips to in which they pretty much don’t talk the entire time. They stalk monsters through the wilderness and have a great time.

- 

 Shang Qinghua is too busy keeping an eye on Luo Fanli and being  not talked to by Liu Mingyan, who is eighteen-ish years old now he thinks and still deeply embarrassed by the fact that he told her off for her real person fiction. (He doesn’t want to discourage her passion for writing! She’s pretty good for a kid! It’s pretty cute! Everyone needs their escapist hobbies! He just doesn’t want identifying information about his family being spread around freely, even if the characterizations of the couple are… uh… wildly reimagined, and he doesn't want to have to spend his very valuable time keeping a lookout for more illicit fiction.) It’s difficult to read her expression through the ever-present veil, but… yeah, she’s still pissed off at him.

 Ugh, teenagers. 

 Binghe is not allowed to bring several hundred nieces-in-law into Shang Qinghua's life. Just... no. Fuck, no. 

 He doesn’t even get a date to commiserate about this with. 

 It’s a very small wedding, family only (Luo Jiahui’s shitty parents  don’t count  and her older brother was forced to decline the invitation), so that Luo Jiahui and Liu Qingge can keep their privacy. Madam Liu huffed about it - the battles in talking her down were both great and terrible - but her son stood his ground! Sure, people might whine someday about not being invited, but the great thing about Liu Qingge is that they can more or less just say,  “Well, we couldn’t stop him from doing whatever he wanted!”  And people just have to take that unless they want to claim they could take on the Bai Zhan Peak War God! 

- 

AN: Trying to imagine the AU in which SQH brought MBJ as his date to this wedding. SQH would’ve liked to be able to bring MBJ as a date, but alas, they are not dating and the groom would probably try to kill the man. 

- 

 Shang Qinghua is not expecting, soon after returning from his sister-in-law’s happy and long-awaited wedding, to be solemnly informed that Shen Qingqiu’s health has only really deteriorated these past months. Wow, that’s a huge downer. 

 Also, he already knew that? He’s been getting Mu Qingfang all the right supplies to treat their shixiong. He didn’t actually abandon his duties to the sect for a family wedding. He knew that Shen Qingqiu had fallen sufficiently ill to need tending on Qian Cao Peak in the past month and he considered it, well, convenient timing in regards to Binghe’s permission to attend his mother’s wedding not being randomly revoked. Cold-hearted, maybe! But he had lots of other things to worry about at the time, like informing Mobei-Jun that his sister-in-law was getting married and so he’d be regrettably absent to attend the wedding. 

 Then he’s told that Shen Qingqiu is not expected to improve this time. 

  “Oh, shit, they really think he’s dying,” Shang Qinghua realizes. 

 This really wasn’t in  Proud Immortal Demon Way. 

- 

AN: I seriously contemplated cutting this chapter in half because of this mood switch. Like, I went in intending on writing a serious mood switch, but in practice, wow. It felt like a lot more in practice. 

- 

 “Our sect leader asks about the boy and his progress,” Shen Qingqiu rasps, his voice turning more and more accusing. “He’s  so very  concerned about the boy. We can’t have such a beloved child  crying  to his devoted family that he’s been mistreated or neglected, can we? How flattering these assumptions are. It makes a man wonder what exactly people think he’s going to  do to the boy.” 

 Shang Qinghua might have an itemized list somewhere, honestly. 

 “Ah, I can’t speak for anyone else,” Shang Qinghua says finally. “But please don’t take it personally, Shen-Shixiong. I don’t really trust anyone. Anything can happen behind a locked door, you know?” 

 Some honest cynicism can go over well with the man. 

 Shen Qingqiu laughs bitterly now. 

- 

AN: It can be fun in media where Character A is like, “Ahhh, I hope no one discovers my secret!” And Character B is like, “So, about this extremely obvious thing that you’re doing...!” 

Shen Qingqiu is as honest and open as he is throughout this scene because he honestly thinks that he’s dying. He’s determined to be blithe about it. 

- 

Shang Qinghua at least gets to see Mu Qingfang’s face journey as Shen Qingqiu accuses their sect leader of letting him think that he’d left him to die. As Shen Qingqiu yells about being treated like an unwanted ghost, as a potential blackmailer, as an embarrassing disappointment, as a petty troublemaker, as a spoiled child, as a problem to be solved, and as the last blemish on Yue Qingyuan’s reputation - anything but as someone worthy of being trusted with Yue Qingyuan’s problems and of being treated like an equal friend. 

 Yue Qingyuan tries to explain that he didn’t think Shen Qingqiu wanted to hear his excuses, and Shen Qingqiu shoots back that he would rather fucking die than beg the man he’d thought had forgotten about him to explain when exactly he became not worth rescuing as soon as possible. 

 Yue Qingyuan tries to explain that he didn’t want Shen Qingqiu’s pity or to force the man to be grateful that he’d  tried. 

 Shen Qingqiu tells the man to go fuck himself. How could it not hurt for someone he loved to hurt him and then just…  move past the hurt  like the pain wasn’t  who they were? 

 “All the world could revile me… reject me… leave me to die… and I would pay their hatred no heed! What do they truly know of what I am? Of who I am?” Shen Qingqiu demands. “But if  Qi-Ge  could throw me away… decide that I just wasn’t worth the  trouble anymore now that he’d had a taste of a better life… then I really must be wretched beyond all things at the root! If he believed it, then… then it had to be true.” 

- 

AN: Because I just wrote a Qijiu confrontation over this exact thing, like, a few days before, I thought that I could get away with writing out this entire confrontation in full. I think it works better if the audience has to imagine some of it. And because SQH is the POV character, it felt right that he not be in the room and not be a full witness to this scene. He doesn’t get to see everything. 

[spockandawe]

Okay, I want to pull together more detailed thoughts at some point, I think, because the sheer amount of material means I have about ten billion thoughts to sort out. But I’ve read all three of the mxtx novels now, and loved all of them, in different ways. Though I already tried to figure out if I can pick a Favorite, and tbh, I can’t. I love them all in ways that are too distinct to let me rank them easily. And... man, it’s lucky for my friends that social distancing is in place, or I’d be hassling them shamelessly to give these novels a try.

RIGHT. So.

The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System: Shen Yuan goes to bed full of rage directed at a trashy webnovel with a grimdark blackened hero who conquered the world and collected hundreds of women into his harem.... and wakes up in novel, while that hero is still an innocent youth. As the hero’s abusive teacher. Who is doomed for a horrifying death unless he can somehow turn things around.

I think I had the most fun with this one. I really enjoy self-referential stories, and stories poking fun at certain genres, and I’ve run into the concept of transmigration before (the idea being a person enters a fictional world, a la lost in austen), though I’m blanking on any media like that I’ve actually consumed. This was chronologically the first book mxtx wrote, and it has less of a sprawling cast with complicated relationships than the other two books, but it definitely has the thing where she lays early groundwork for later revelations that shatter my poor heart. 

And there may be fewer relationships to play with, but my GOD, do I love the relationships we got. I’ve been rolling around in svsss fanfic since I finished the book, even more so than mdzs or tgcf. There’s a lot of good crunchy relationship content with the 79 ship (they destroy me, all day every day), Liu Qingge owns my whole-ass heart, and Luo Binghe makes for a fascinating love interest. I love that even at his best, he remains a needy, needy, manipulative boy, who’s so smart and strong and nEEDY. I don’t love how the book handled moshang, but mmmm the fan content is Good. And Shen Qingqiu does the unreliable narrator thing that is usually not my jam, but works so WELL in these books, in that his unreliable narration is hugely skewed towards not giving himself nearly as much credit as he deserves. Xie Lian takes this to UNBELIEVABLE heights in tgcf, but in Shen Qingqiu’s case, it’s done on such a casual, immediate, personal level that I’m fascinated by everything he does. 

And, since Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is a millennial fan of trashy romance webnovels who gets yanked into the universe of a novel he hates, into an old-timey xianxia setting, the prose is SO COOL. You swing between modern slang and old school high society courtesies at the drop of a hat, and I’m honestly awed that the translators were able to catch so much of that. Like, in-setting, I love all the nuance you can get in ‘qi-ge should give his a-jiu the scroll’ vs ‘yue-shixiong should give this teacher the scroll’ vs ‘you should give me the scroll’. But then it adds a whole new layer when the person ALSO has modern-day casual speech bouncing around in their head. It makes for a fascinating, fascinating reading experience.

The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation: Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian died. And then he wakes up! In someone else’s body. I’m not going to try to summarize the premise of this one, go look up The Untamed if you want someone to do a better job of this than me XD

Ahhh, this was the book I read first. I still haven’t watched the show (only clips) and I’m not sure I ever will, because adhd is a hell of a drug. But it’s hard to purely evaluate the prose when there’s also this gorgeous, beautifully-acted visual adaptation all over my tumblr to bias me in its favor. I think this book benefits a lot from the MYSTERY of it all. From the very start, there’s the question of ‘what the fuck is up with this goddamn arm’ that the characters pursue, even as that takes them through flashbacks and other arcs within the story. It gives a thrust to the novel that I think isn’t exactly there in tgcf, though I’m torn on which one is “better.” This gave the story momentum, yes, but it also meant I was much more impatient in yi city and the 3zun flashbacks, because this isn’t what I was focused onnnnnn this is cool but how much longer will we BE HERE--

That being said, I think I’ll be more patient with those flashbacks on my next time through the book, now that I have a better picture of where everything is headed. I think the balance and structure of the book worked really well, I was setting myself up for self-sabotage because of the pace I was plowing through the thing. My reading habits didn’t lend themselves well to the nonlinear storytelling, and it speaks to the story’s strength that it held up that well despite me. And the CAST. My GOD. I went in not caring about anyone but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and maybe the jackass nephew, but... that Did Not Last. I didn’t intend to care about 3zun? Nope, too bad, you care so much now. Who cares about Xue Yang? Me. I care. Way too much. HECK!!!

And something that happens in this book and tgcf that was much less of a thing in svsss is that there are some meaningful holes in the story that I’d like to be filled, and I really care about filling-- and the story doesn’t go there. But it doesn’t leave me unhappy, it leaves me cheerfully scrabbling around in the throwaway details trying to piece together a picture of what happened when I wasn’t looking. What happened to Wei Wuxian in the burial mounds? How did Hua Cheng take control of the ghost city? Idk, but let us Rummage and theorize and roll around in ideas and have a fantastic, speculative time. Svsss might hook me more than the other stories from an au+shipping perspective, but mdzs and tgcf do a great job of making me want to roll around and create within the bounds of canon.

Heaven Official’s Blessing: 800 years ago, Xie Lian ascended to heaven. And fell. And rose again! And fell again. Now he’s ascended for the third time, and things are Awkward.

God, I just finished this, and I’m still reeling. This is the LONGEST mxtx book, that’s for sure. I also think it’s the most tightly edited translation. All the translators did an unbelievable job, I could never even approach what they accomplished, but I am genuinely stunned that a book this long was edited so well. I blew through this in about 3.5 days (if not for work, i could have made it in three dghsafdsgf) and my brain was cooking in my skull by the time I was halfway through, but I couldn’t STOP. I was ENCHANTED the entire time! I was reading so much my head was destroying me and I still sulked so HARD every time I had to put my phone down and sleep.

This book sprawls the hardest, I think, because it involves a cast made of mostly immortal/immortal-adjacent people, so time and space get... flexible. And I feel really bad saying this, because Lan Wangji is DEVOTED, but this is seriously the book with the most attentive and adoring and respectful love interest. Hua Cheng is..... god. I truly don’t think I’ve EVER read a character quite like him before, and I am so, so sad, because I don’t know how I’ll find one who lives up to these heights ever again XD I recommend reading this book just for the Hua Cheng experience, if nothing else. I was making audible noises at literally flailing at multiple points in the story, but most often, it was because of him. 

Shipping is what usually drags me into a fandom hardest, and all of these books do pretty well for themselves, all of them have a nice selection of fluffy and crunchy ships to choose from. And this one... goddammit. I just realized, that the best, most crunchy ships are too spoilery for me to be willing to talk about them here. Hell. Goddammit. But I think tgcf has the crunchiest ship of all, even better than xuexiao. I was so invested, and then there were Reveals, and then I was like OH NO THIS IS TERRIBLE BUT MY INVESTMENT HAS EXPONENTIALLY INCREASED. 

And something that I really, really appreciate, is that across the mxtx books, even though a lot of characters fit into strong archetypes, there’s nobody that is blurring together for me, either within or across the books. Liu Qingge isn’t Jiang Cheng isn’t Feng Xin. They’re all blunt, fighty boys, but all super distinct in my head, and what I want for each of them is distinct and character-driven. I want Liu Qingge to be properly cherished and I want Jiang Cheng to relax with his brother and nephew and I want Feng Xin to [goddammit i don’t want to spoil this book AGH]. It’s something I appreciated in the other books too, but I can really FEEL it in this book, with how long and luxurious it is. 

And last thing I have to say, I think, is that tgcf is so long. It’s so, so long. But I would FITE if anyone tried to pare it down at all. I can’t think of anything I’d be willing to sacrifice. I enjoyed every last piece of it so much, and it was all ultimately SO well-constructed and interlocking, that any piece I can think of snipping out would take away significant emotional impact from what was left. It’s a nonlinear story, like mdzs is nonlinear, and I loved mdzs a lot! But the construction here is so, so, so elegant. I’m just in AWE of how well it was assembled. I was in Agony as reveals happened, because oh no no no no, now that they’ve told me this, that casts this whole other scene in a brand new light! The one I read hundreds of thousands of words ago! Literally, I need to go start the book over so I can savor the shitty teens in new ways, given [redacted] as revealed in like, the last twenty percent of the book. The book was a fun experience, but there’s so Much here that I know I haven’t even absorbed yet. I loved the other mxtx books a lot, and in many ways, they were easier to get a grasp on than tgcf was, but even before I finished tgcf I was already despairingly trying to figure out how easily I could fit a full reread into my life, and I think that says a lot

[jin-guang-ow]

/bangs on your door tell us more about moshang 🌟

Anon, I don’t even know what to tell you???

oR WHERE TO BEGIN???? ahahahahahahahahahaahahaha

Listen, I just like my two lonely boys and I want them to be soft and happy… uwu

Here’s some MoShang headcanons, but I always wonder if some of them are too fluffy??? haha

Shang QingHua is a morning person while MoBei Jun is a night person. SQH often times has to help MBJ wake up and get ready, and MBJ often times has to carry a sleepy SQH to bed.

It doesn’t matter what au/time/etc., MBJ always gives his coat/outer layer/scarf/gloves/undying love to SQH to warm him up.

MoBei Jun secretly loves dogs (they’re loyal, listen to orders, etc.) and keeps a fair amount in the north with him. At first, Shang QingHua is super put off by them. The dogs are all large and generally quite aggressive towards him! Needless to say, SQH hides from them, even to the point of climbing on MBJ! This goes on for quite a while, until SQH finds the adorable puppies that are currently being trained. He can’t help but spoil the puppies!!! They’re really too cute!!! He uses this time to make sure the dogs will love him when they grow up, and even trains them to give him kisses. Of course, the next time he comes to visit the dogs are much bigger and rush to greet him first. MBJ prepares himself to “protect” SQH, but SQH rushes ahead first to hug all the good boys.

“Dawang!! Come here!! Kisses!!!”

“…”

“Ah, no, not you Dawang… this guy here. See he kind of looks like you, so I called him ‘Dawang’… but don’t take it the wrong way! It’s just because he’s the handsomest of the bunch! See, look at him! Such a handsome boy!”

SQH tries to show MBJ the dog’s face, but he’d already left. The shock was too much. The embarrassment was too much. For the rest the of day SQH tried to explain his thinking behind it, but everytime he does, MBJ’s face darkens and he leaves… MBJ later lets him know that the dog’s real name is Xiao Hei. SQH only feels guilt that he passed his terrible naming skills on to MBJ.

Xiao Hei is super protective over SQH, and follows him around everywhere. It’s even to the point where they sleep together, and, of course, SQH welcomes it since the north is so cold. MBJ is utterly jealous, but won’t admit it to himself yet. He only allows it because SQH is so happy…

MBJ actually likes all types of animals (a true “animals are better than humans” type person), but only keeps dogs because he was betrayed by cats… The old showing-the-belly trap got him as a child, and he could never forgive cats for the rest of his life (at least enough to keep them as pets…)

SQH quite likes cats. He later starts to think MBJ is actually kind of resembles a cat…

I hc a mutual pining between the two. They just both feel that the other couldn’t like them? Right? Right??? RIGHT?????? So it takes them a while to get together even if they realize their strong they have strong feelings for the other…

There definitely has to be a point where MBJ really thinks SQH likes LBH. There’s just a way that SQH gets lost staring at LBH, and whenever LBH helps him his face lights up in a way MBJ doesn’t see often… or at all… orz This leads to a really long and drawn out phase of jealous MBJ trying to prove he’s better than LBH to SQH!!!

MBJ would really take SQH to all these really awesome and beautiful places so can battle all these extremely strong and rare creatures to show how powerful he is. Whenever MBJ presents SQH their dead bodies, he really can’t help but think this demon lord is too much like a cat… ah, do you really need to rub in how weak I am? Yes, my king, you really are such a good hunter! Should I also pet your head?! (SQH is all snarky, but we all know he clung to MBJ, crying, whenever something truly scary showed up.)

Plan A kind of worked??? But didn’t??? So MBJ decides to instead give him tons of lavish and rare gifts… mostly in the form of clothes as human customs would dictate… according to LBH (I really need that anime scene of the character doing orz with a spotlight on them, but it’s Mobei Jun crying about having to ask BingBing, his ‘rival’, for help haha). SQH really… doesn’t care about them so much, though. It isn’t until he’s gifted a cloak made from the fur of some xx creature that has the property of keeping the wearer really warm! He’s really touched, “My king, you really do care for me???”… of course he doesn’t say that! What, is he an idiot? But, maybe, he just so happens to have a small tear escape his eyes. 

DOES HE HATE IT THAT MUCH??? MBJ is destroyed and doesn’t appear in front of SQH for a while…

SQH finds out much later what caused all these events from an angry SQQ who doesn’t want to see MBJ again. He can’t exactly explain that he was just touched his son, LBH, would still help him out, or that he really wants to know how LBH got lead astray from being the perfect Stallion novel hero to a sad puppy dog seme???

My last one that I will share today is that Mobei Jun will very softly call out “Qinghua” whenever he feels completely in love with SQH uwu

[anarchistbitch]

hiiii, I'm back, sorry I took so long, i was gonna reply earlier but i had hw and so that I wouldnt procrastinate I told myself I wouldnt reply until I got it done and then when I did it I was tired af and fell asleep and then it slipped my mind, sorry sorry sorry

first off, a song rec Quizás, Quizás, Quizás by Andrea Bocelli and Jennifer López

I'm glad you had a great republic day♡ love me those independence celebration holidays

thank you for the link <3 and yeah, you're right, she worked on it so it should be good, i just have trust issues lmao

ah mbj, mbj, it's the same with moshang bc you see the fandom constantly talking about them but then you read the book and ???? where are they???? goes to show our love for them ig

YES definitely, it was SO easy to forget how powerful he really was bc he was just kind of going around being ~annoying and quirky~ that also happens with the whole book itself I think, cause it has a lot more humor than the others but the things happening are just as fucked up and painful

new hc: there was another person involved when binghe was conceived

they should just exaggerate sqq's inner monologue about how binghe is gonna kill him and all that, if shen yuan could convince himself of heterosexuality I'm sure they can convince the censors

I become a puddle of tears whenever I think of gongyi xiao, he was just a good boy and yeah, your sibling had a galaxy brain moment, they're so right

they're literally the "bro get your dog" "it dont bite" "yes it do" vine, he's sqq's (and our) little meow meow

I adore cbaw toooooo, it's so beautiful and nice, def a comfort read, and SJSJSJS ikkkkk, I understand they were trying to show that they looked so much alike but damnbro sjsnznsnsn

noooooooo, I actually love the watermark??? idk I just think it's charming, I made sure it was still visible sjdjsjsj my editing was basically adding more sky so I didnt have to crop anything out

I did see and I couldn't agree more ksdjdjsjsjsj this week was so tiring???? I dont even know why but everyone I talked to seemed so exhausted already, on thursday we got the day off bc we changed president and the ceremony was taking place that day (we just got our first ever woman president btw, she had so many good campaign promises, here's to hoping she sticks to them) but we'd just been back for three days and everyone was celebrating the day off as if we were three months in, seriously

thanks to having our day off I didnt have my second class with ms devil, first day was just introductions and going over syllabus so thursday was gonna be our real first class but monday I wont be able to escape my fate any longer

dont apologize for rambling, I do love reading what you have to say 😌💖

about your ps, 😳💍 might be a bit soon but will you marry me??

good luck on your classes and make sure to rest and eat properly!!

-M<3

between the both of us i have a worse reply timing so pls dont apologize😭😭 also good for you for completing your hw!!

ive only listened to a few of jlo's songs and the song does give that vibe of wanting to be with each other but being able to due to whatever reason .the guitar in the song is really well played too!!

Song rec for ya: Never tear us apart by INXS (yea the song from euphoria s2 ep3😔 i dont know if youve watched it but this song is really so so good)

and yea i dont you blame you for the trust issues lol so many good books/comics have gone through.. tremendous changes when being adapted. but hey nellie is there!!

moshang is THE ship cause he really married his blorbo 😭😭 and isnt it enough? to create the perfect man? and marry him ?? speaking of sqh. whats ur thought on cumplane👀👀 i have a few hc's that they were together before transmigration but never told each other about PIDW. like a mr & mrs smith au but the being-agents is them hating each other on socmed.

ykw? su xiyan deserves two partners😤

gongyi xiao🥺🥺 when i tell you i cried when i saw him in the donghua. in another au where lbh is a disciple of huan hua i feel like they would been besties or at least have certain respect for e/o.

binghe is also sqh's meow meow <3

cbaw was such a great manhua and im so sad its ending but the drama is airing in a few weeks!!! also the next chapter is of their honeymoon 😳😳

heres hoping to a political term with no bad happenings and many progressive actions 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

everyone is so tired and idk if its cause of the weather or its that the vibes™ . but so many things are gonna happen in a few weeks and then months including my graduation to the next year(my teacher is a little shit and im stubborn i will literally graduate just to spite her)

celebrate ur days off!!! its literally so cold and i havent been out at all(covid restrictions back on and also my family member is high risk)

school is depressing as fuck but one thing i kinda realized that they also set a precedent of "this is how school is supposed to be :(:(" and i think have a slightly optimistic look on ur situation definitely helps a lot

skds i love reading what you have to say

damn take me out to dinner first🙄🙄 but yes i accept💗💗💗💗💗

the same for you as well!! stay safe and healthy!!

[rarepears]

#❤️❤️❤️#omg I’m glad my tags inspired you!!!#I love it#poor sqq kicked a yao out thinking he’s escaped danger and boom#lbh has ‘found’ their son#can u imagine once xichen wakes and mentions having a baby brother?? lbh is like 2 for the price of one that’s a bargain!#lbh teaches lxc how to cook and teaches him what seasoning in#lxc future sect leader pls#I bet sqq beats airplane like this is your fault#why else would Binghe bring a whole teenager for them to baby#when in doubt blame airplane#I love the shenanigans they would get to in cang qiong#a sect full of aunts and uncles who want to spoil them#also meng yao is petty since you told him no he’s gonna make sqq admit he’s wonderful#I love that sqq knew that he was a fake white lotus type lol#Binghe gets away with it ‘because he’s the protagonist’ aka sqq loved him#svsss au#bingqiu#moshang#shang qinghua#jin guangyao#meng yao#omg is jgy now shang yao?#svsss

Shen Qingqiu has also ended up in Meng Yao's little black book... Meng Yao is a petty son of a bitch who's going to get revenge in the future - sounds like a certain protagonist am I right?

But his revenge is pretty benign; he's just going to seduce Shen Qingqiu's son ❤️

Anyways, Meng Yao now ends up being an An Ding disciple, but it all works out well since this means Shang Qinghua is in charge of Meng Yao's schedule AKA Shang Qinghua can book in a lot of stepfather-stepson bonding time~

Meng Yao upon learning that his "father's" traveling companion is his new husband: oh fuck that's one unit of a man... he's scary looking... Meng Yao later: he's softer than putty; I can manipulate him so easy to get anything I want - I MUST PROTECT.

Shang Qinghua is too smart to get caught up in Meng Yao's (juvenile attempts at). Naturally this only reaffirms Meng Yao's preference for Mobei Jun. Yes, this means that Shang Qinghua is the Strict Parent and Mobei Jun spoils Meng Yao too much (because Meng Yao is a Squishy Human).

-o-o-o-o-

Luo Binghe is going to have a fun challenge of making vegetarian dishes for his son. He doesn't have too many, so he's going to go on a cooking frenzy to invent more delicious vegetarian recipes. Wait, is Gusu Lan pescatarian? Maybe Luo Binghe can just do a lot of seafood dishes?

Shen Qingqiu: Luo Binghe, you can't keep Lan Xichen. Luo Binghe: WATCH ME Shen Qingqiu: he has a family already - he's a future sect heir; has a father, brother, and uncle. You can't just forcible adopt him! Luo Binghe, pulling out Xin Mo: I can fix that :) Shen Qingqiu: >.> Shen Qingqiu: <.<

Gusu Lan ends up learning that their heir is alive and said heir managed to protect all the precious scrolls in his possessive except now they are in a time-sharing agreement with some immortals who are determined to steal away their heir for good.

OH ALL THE TIMES THAT LAN XICHEN GOES INTO "SECLUSION IN CANON", HE'S REALLY JUST HOPPING BACK TO VISIT HIS ADOPTIVE PARENTS AND CANG QIONG.

[More in #Meng Yao ends up mistaking the wrong cultivator clad in yellow as his father AU]

Meng Yao ends up mistaking the wrong cultivator clad in yellow as his father.

[lesyah]

moshang childhood friends to lovers au pt. 6

Hello! here is a fic that was posted to my twitter. it has songs to go along with it from my twitter. If you’d like to look at the songs for each part, or just check out my twitter (where I have threadfics and other twitter fics not posted here), feel free to do so!

part 6 [age 22]

Shang Qinghua was sitting in class when he got the first call. He looked down at his desk, trying not to look like he was on his phone in case his professor looked at him. It was Mobei Jun. Shang Qinghua’s stomach lurched, but he looked back up, unable to pick up the phone in the middle of class. In a way, he felt a little bit grateful that he wasn’t able to pick up. It saved him the dilemma of trying to decide if he could mentally handle speaking to Mobei Jun that day.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of the screen though. He kept glancing down to watch the way his phone lit up with Mobei Jun’s name. Sometimes looking at the presence of Mobei Jun’s existence was a horrifying reminder that he was so far away. Other times, it was a comfort to know he was still in this world and still in Shang Qinghua’s life, even if it wasn’t like it used to be.

Mobei Jun hadn’t left a message, so Shang Qinghua didn’t call him back. He thought of it the entire day, wondering if he should. One moment he would convince himself that Mobei Jun needed him and he was ignoring him in his time of need. But then he’d come back down to earth and realize that if Mobei Jun really did need him, he would have left a message, or called again, or texted him to pick up the phone. And why would he need Shang Qinghua? After all this time apart, not needing him at all?

There were other moments where he thought to himself that he was making a much bigger deal out of it than was necessary. The only reason he was having such a dilemma about it was because of his feelings. If he didn’t love Mobei Jun in the way that he did, he probably already would have called him back hours ago. Or if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been in such turmoil over it. He probably would have forgotten that Mobei Jun called at all.

A few hours later, just as Shang Qinghua arrived back in his small apartment that he shared with Shen Yuan, his phone rang again. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked down at it as he pushed his door open. It was Mobei Jun.

Chest tightening, he picked up the phone, simply to avoid the beat down he would have given himself for not answering. “Hi, Mobei.” Had his voice really done that? Was that really him? For someone so distressed about his relationship with Mobei Jun, he really softened up when he spoke to him.

“Qinghua,” he said, voice practically subzero. “Where are you right now?”

Confused, Shang Qinghua pushed the door shut with his hip as he took his shoes off. “I just got back to my apartment. Why?”

He hung up.

Shang Qinghua stared down at his phone for a moment, blinking. Did he just hallucinate that conversation? He took a moment to consider whether he should call him back. Maybe the call had dropped. But the connection was perfect, and the noise his phone made to indicate a finished call had pinged in his ear.

Feeling confused, a little hurt, and somewhat concerned, Shang Qinghua dumped his backpack on the couch and went to the kitchen. It was a “Binghe Day,” so Shang Qinghua was currently on his own and Shen Yuan likely would not be back until the next day. 

He was just pouring a cup of boiling water into his instant noodles when a knock sounded on his door. He set down the kettle and walked to the door, already preparing to see Shen Yuan there, asking for something he had forgotten. When he opened the door, however, Mobei Jun was standing in front of him.

Shang Qinghua’s entire brain screeched to a halt. “Wha—Mobei?”

Mobei Jun stared at him in silence for several long moments, not a word leaving his mouth. After a moment, his face moved, scrunching up slightly, lips turning down into a frown. “Qinghua.”

“What are you—What are you doing here?” He sputtered, limbs unmoving. 

“I…” he began, not sounding very confident. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Shang Qinghua felt frozen for a moment, mind still reeling at the fact that Mobei Jun was here. But after a moment, his body reacted on instinct and hugged him back, hands coming up to clutch into the material of his jacket. He shut his eyes, trying desperately not to cry. “Mobei…”

“My mom,” he said, choked and anguished. “She left.”

“What?” Shang Qinghua clutched at him tighter, eyes popping open. One of his hands drifted up in-between his shoulder blades. “What do you mean?” His voice was soft, hesitant.

His voice was quiet when he responded. “She left my father. In the middle of the night. She took her things, and a lot of his money, and she left. I found out last night, and this morning I received a note from her. She said she wouldn’t be back, and to not bother reaching out to her.” His voice grew more and more emotionless the more he explained, but he still held tightly onto Shang Qinghua. “She told me that she wouldn’t be there for my graduation, and to not bother inviting her.”

Shang Qinghua blinked, every part of him completely floored. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

Mobei Jun let out a breath, and shifted to press his face into his shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything. Just…This is enough.”

Shang Qinghua felt his eyes sting, and he tightened his arms around him. Mobei Jun had never gotten along with his mom. There was not a lot of love between them. But all Shang Qinghua could think about was that time when they had been young, and they were lying in Shang Qinghua’s bed not long after Shang Qinghua’s father had died. He remembered the way Mobei Jun had whispered to him, trusting and honest, that he missed his parents. 

“Sorry,” Mobei Jun said suddenly, voice muffled from Shang Qinghua’s hoodie. “I just came, I—I wanted to see you.”

“It’s ok,” Shang Qinghua whispered back. “Don’t be sorry. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I haven’t seen you in so long,” he said, voice just as low. “How long has it been?”

“Since last summer, I guess,” Shang Qinghua murmured, turning his face to the side, into Mobei Jun’s neck. He only thought about this action after he did it. It was too late, and it felt too nice, so he stayed, soaking it in like the sun.

Mobei Jun also turned further in. Shang Qinghua could feel his breath wash down his neck. “That’s—It’s February now. It’s been that long?”

“Yes,” Shang Qinghua said weakly. “You—You went on vacation with your parents for Winter break, so I…didn’t see you then.”

Mobei Jun pulled away then. He kept his arms around him loosely, but pulled back enough to look at him. His face was solemn as he stared down at Shang Qinghua. “It feels like a very long time.”

Shang Qinghua loosened his hold and settled his hands on his shoulders. Unable to help it, movements falling into habit, like they were made to do so, he reached up and pressed his hand to his face. Everything inside of him collapsed when Mobei Jun leaned into it. “Yeah. It does feel like it’s been a long time.”

“Sorry,” he whispered again. “I didn’t think before coming. I just…Came.”

“It’s ok,” Shang Qinghua said, letting his hands drift back down to settle on his arms. “Have you eaten?”

“No.”

He pulled him towards the kitchen. “Then let’s eat. I don’t have anything else, really, besides noodles. I hope that’s ok.”

“That’s ok,” Mobei Jun responded, allowing himself to be pulled. 

“I’m sorry about your mom, Mobei,” he said quietly, not looking at him as he released his hold to grab another cup of noodles.

Mobei Jun sighed behind him. “Yeah.”

Shang Qinghua couldn’t help it. He paused and turned, just to look at his face again, now that it was in front of him. Mobei Jun looked back at him. Though his face was somewhat blank, when he met Shang Qinghua’s concerned gaze, he smiled. It was a small thing, barely there at all. But there had never been anything more lovely to Shang Qinghua than the way his features would soften, hard edges melting into warmth, when he looked at him. He felt undeserving.