#yes he has a lot of imposter syndrome about it

[rainbowgod666]

Yuri:

Yuri:

Yuri: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHH...

Yuto: it took you THAT long to realize they were talking about your plant experiments?

Yuri: fuck.

Yuya: in your defense, feeding a mutated plant C4 and NOT expecting its fruits to be literally 100% free range organic frag grenades is KINDA expected

Yuri, currently mid-SUAVEMENTErealization: Fuuck...

Yugo: also yeah uuuuhh we WERE planning that one day we would have to do an intervention about your literal-bio-terrorism

Yuri, fully understanding rn: FUCK!

Yuya: oh come on! We all do mistakes

Yuri: Yeah but I thought it was the duelings! How the fuck did they figure out I was behind the Plant Incident???

The rest of the yu-salad: (stares in are you fucking serious rn)

Yuri:... oh right.

Yuto: good at dueling and botany but everything else-

Yuri: ��plz stfu this is already bad🥺

One Of The Top Yugioh Lines Of All Time

[tealvenetianmask]

So despite hating himself, Blitz is confident about sex and about work, right?

Right???

Where did all of that confidence go? It's a fun kind of confidence that takes us along for the ride and makes us want to see what he'll do next, and I miss it. Not to mention, seeing him start to break down is a little too relatable.

I've seen a lot of good analysis recently about how and why Blitz's mask is slipping. He's been shaken to the core by everything that happened with Stolas, and now he can't maintain the facade of confidence that's been getting him through daily life.

Recent events have made me think differently about Blitz's hallucination in Truth Seekers. Yes, it shows us lots of fear of relationships- of hurting and being hurt. But the insecurity in particular is standing out to me a lot more now.

Take these quotes from hallucination-Moxxie (actually Blitz's own psyche speaking):

First quote: "I simply follow your orders. It isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold rainy porch of a fresh April shower."

Second quote: "you don't know what you are doing half the time and depend on me and the missus to manage your foolish flights of fancy."

I want to point out before getting into the words that in all of these frames the animation is drawn to look like Blitz is glitching out on a computer screen, with frames overlapping and stark colorful lines reverberating. It's like he's barely able to hold onto his identity. It's like he's losing himself.

Now the content of the quotes themselves-- even though Blitz's confident assassin persona is convincing, even though he frequently calls out Moxxie for mistakes and builds himself up, even though when we see him fighting, he KNOWS HE'S GOT THIS, and even though he talks confidently about his schemes, this man SERIOUSLY DOUBTS HIMSELF AT WORK.

Blitz is an improviser, and I've written before about how much I love this because I relate to it. Blitz talks through plans that sound pretty extravagant but don't have many details ironed out (and this drives Moxxie up a wall), and then he pulls them off by acting intuitively and making decisions in the moment. He's great at it. I get it. When plans are too detailed or too set in stone (at work, when traveling, in my writing), I feel seriously boxed in. I need grand vague ideas to get me excited to get going and a lack of details so that I can do what's right in the moment and avoid getting stuck. I did not outline this post. I love that this tendency of Blitz's is portrayed so positively, because in my own experience, it often gets misunderstood as laziness or unrealistic thinking.

Or *cough* "foolish flights of fancy."

So what we have here is Blitz doubting one of the very personality traits that makes him so successful in his work, interpreting it as not knowing what he's doing, and feeling like he has to cover it up. He's down in the imposter syndrome pit with the rest of us.

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged yap/headcanon

What happened after?

In the context of SaneGiyuu, Sanemi's inferiority complex is really sad because as he's feelings for Giyuu develop and get stronger, there'll probably be that voice at the back of his head that says Giyuu wouldn't want to date someone like him.

Giyuu calling him beautiful must have hit him like a bus. He's used to people being afraid of him, calling him ugly or scary, so to have someone not only think he's worthy of attention but to call him beautiful???

Well....

Giyuu on the other hand struggles with his own esteem as well. He has to deal with depression over losing his sister and Sabito, his first love then, his imposter syndrome thinking that he's not worthy of being the water Hashira.

In his mind, he thinks that the second strongest Hashira wouldn't really think much of a guy like him. Sanemi is cool and badass, he says what's on his mind and isn't afraid of nobody, and Giyuu wishes he could be like that.

...

Giyuu wasn't sure what to think of the wind Hashira at first. They were tasked on a mission together along with a small group of junior slayers. Even though Sanemi had piqued his interest at his introductory meeting in the Master's mansion, right now he was much more focused on just getting the job done and going home.

The demons turned out to be a lot more than they initially thought and Giyuu was unsure that he would be able to fight and keep the junior slayers safe, but as he's cutting them down, he sees Sanemi rushing towards the hoard with a wide smile on his face.

"Come on! I'll take all of you bastards!"

Wind breathing, fourth form: Rising Dust Storm

This leaves the demons in shreds, drenching Sanemi in a shower of blood and guts.

Giyuu dealt with the rest of the hoard, and after he decapitated the last demon, Sanemi came up to him, his katana resting lazily on his shoulder. He had his usual grumpy look, but he said

"You're strong, that's good"

He then turned abruptly and went to check up on the civilians.

Giyuu stared after him for a minute before going to check in on the junior slayers and the civilians. Throughout the time, Sanemi's words were still ringing in his head.

You're strong, that's good

You're strong

They didn't go on any more missions after that, as their status as Hashira meant their had to head separate teams of juniors on missions. Giyuu tried to forget about Sanemi and his words since that day, but he couldn't.

Not seeing each other was good because it meant Giyuu was able to put away his feelings, he didn't know what to make of them. Why had the words stuck to him? What had his feelings meant?

At the next Hashira meeting, he watched as Sanemi sidled beside Rengoku with Obanai on his right, for a brief moment they locked eyes, and then Giyuu knew. He knew, he knew, he knew, he knew.

...

(This is the night after Giyuu called Sanemi beautiful. Muzan's visit to the Ubuyashiki mansion was delayed because his dry-cleaning got lost in the mail, idk)

Giyuu sat on the edge of the well, lost in thought, when he felt a slight rush of wind. He didn't have to look to know who it was on the other side of the well.

There was a brief moment of silence between them, Giyuu was the first to speak, he made an attempt to apologize

"Shinazugawa...I-"

"Did you mean what you said?" Sanemi's voice was gruff, but his words were a soft whisper.

His first instinct was to lie, but honestly he was exhausted. What did he have to lose?

"Yes"

There was silence again. This one stretched for so long, Giyuu for a silly moment thought that Sanemi had fallen asleep.

Then he heard the crunch of gravel as Sanemi stood up straight.

"The final set of trainees left for Gyomei's mansion this afternoon" he whispered

Giyuu eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he turned to the other side of the well. Sanemi's back was to him, Giyuu wanted to ask why he told him this but was cut off as Sanemi continued.

"The next set would be coming in tomorrow morning"

Then he was gone, leaving Giyuu in a state of confusion. What had Sanemi meant by that? What was he trying to say? He pondered for a moment, then a soft, sharp gasp left his lips as his eyes widened in realization.

Giyuu knew. He knew, he knew, he knew, he knew.

[personal-progress-dropout]

The Rainbow Sheep III

I have complicated relationship with my gender.

Like many people who grew up in the church, I was raised with a strict concept of gender—there were men and there were women. Gender was determined in the pre-existence, and the gender you were assigned at birth was the gender you got. Trangenderism was, at best, a form of envy or self-hatred, and at worst, an act of rebellion against God. I wouldn’t hear the words nonbinary or intersex until I was a teenager.

Despite this, my parents were pretty easy-going about gender expression. My brother was allowed to dress up in my princess costumes when we were kids and I could buy clothes from the boy’s section without comment. There were some catches, of course—I was expected to wear a dress or skirt for formal occasions, and I’m not sure they’d ever be okay with my brother wearing anything ‘feminine’ once he was old enough to be a deacon. (He isn’t interested presenting himself as anything other than a cis guy, so I’ve never had the chance to see my hypothesis put to the test.) There was always a framed copy of The Family Proclamation hanging in our house. We had firm convictions about gender, so I never questioned my identity as a woman.

Like most things in my life, that changed when I moved out for college. I discovered a lot of things about myself—I was autistic and ADHD, I had seasonal depression, I would actually rather be a librarian than a teacher, and unlike what I had previously claimed to people, I was much more into women than I was to men, and I fall somewhere on the aroace spectrum. Above all, I discovered that my relationship with my AGAB was far more nebulous than I had assumed as a child.

I never had gender dysphoria, which I thought was an essential part of being trans or nonbinary. I was perfectly satisfied with being a woman, although the casual sexism I’d face was frustrating. And then I heard about ‘gender euphoria.’ I realized that I found joy in experimenting with gender, swinging between androgyny and femininity. I played around with pronouns, and found that being referred to as ‘they’ made me just as happy and comfortable as ‘she.’ (I’m rather indifferent to ‘he’.) When I discovered the term ‘demigirl’, I thought, “Yes, this is me.” I’ve since upgraded to ‘demiwoman’, and occasionally refer to myself as nonbinary.

I think it’s basically a rite of passage to have a gender/sexuality crisis when you’re religious and LGBTQ+. Much like the years after I figured out I was queer, I have moments where I worry that I’m actually just a cis woman who’s so empathetic to her trans and nonbinary friends that she’s fooled herself into thinking she’s demigender. Which is stupid, but nobody has ever claimed that anxiety follows rational thought.

Anyways, I wanted to share a spiritual experience I had lately: after the craziness that is Christmas and navigating through family drama, I had a chance to reflect. I was going over my imposter syndrome and how my gender identity is supposed to fit in with God’s great plan when I had a thought:

You are my daughter, my son, my child.

I wasn’t in the temple or in sacrament meeting. I was in my aunt’s spare room, lying on a crappy couch and staring up at a cat tree. And I still felt the assurance that Heavenly Father sees me. This doesn’t answer any of my questions about church policy or doctrine regarding gender identity, but it gave me hope. People may not think we have a place in the church, that we have to keep our mouths shut and fall in line in order to be in good standing with God. I reject that—there is a place for us, both in the church and in the eternal family. One day we’ll know more, and have a greater understanding, but for now, that one sentence of acknowledgement was enough.

[vidavalor]

Ugrency

A little meta on the word Maggie accidentally created with her misspelling that really feels like it might well be the whole story:

Ugrency.

TW: some mentions of depression and suicide ideation.

When Aziraphale read the note aloud to himself, he pronounced the word Maggie had unintentionally created as: "ug-REN-see". We'll look at those words-within-the-word first.

Ug: A feeling of fear and/or dread; a sense of intense malaise. Original spelling of ugh.

Ren: Of or relating to the kidneys or, in earlier eras, also the loins. The kidneys process waste. Untreated kidney damage can lead to kidney failure, which can be fatal. S2 has quite a bit of kidney failure... Aziraphale is shown to be struggling with all of his understandably overwhelming emotions regarding his status with Heaven... and, also, some ups and downs with trying to help the kids in Maggie and Nina.

Ren: An earlier spelling of to run. Did you teach the ostrich to run? S2 features a lot of being on the run (Gabriel) and running maybe a little too fast (Aziraphale). Running is also getting quickly away from something and while Gabriel was able to do that, Aziraphale wound up trapped (for now) in The Final 15.

Ren: A watchdog/guard dog. From aernn, which also contains ren in its pronunciation, and which meant a house.

Here's the South Downs Cottage stress and feeling stuck in the bookshop and wanting to move but unsure how to safely do that.

Ren: In old Danish and several other languages: a reindeer.

Reindeers are animals synonymous with Christmas, which is all over S2, from references to the upcoming and contentious Christmas lights to allusions to different Christmas films, all of which feature themes related to mental health ('It's a Wonderful Life'; 'Elf'; 'A Christmas Carol').

Ren: A lotus. The lotus flower rug and all the mindfulness and Buddhist mudras in Crowley and Aziraphale's magic.

Ren: Homophone: Wren. The nightingale-wren bird. This is the bird that is on the farthing that Aziraphale vanishes in 1941, Part 2.

While I think that this scene is mostly about hidden language, it's also a little unnerving on another level when you consider that the pair of coins is representing Crowley and Aziraphale... only for then the one that is also, through ugrency, aligned with Aziraphale, to then be vanished by Aziraphale.

Technically, they're both nightingales/nightingale-wrens but Maggie's ugrency would then be referring to Aziraphale as the wren and that's the one on the vanished coin and *shudders*...

Especially since they literally faded to black/the stars in the closing credits. Lots of death happening here and, yes, the coin is up Aziraphale's sleeve the entire time and not fully gone but he has, effectively, disappeared that coin in that moment.

There is something a bit suicidal in that and it's also sitting in the middle of the minisode about imposter syndrome and depression. It's there in the same part of the story that mentions bananafish in a season with a character named Muriel-- both of which are, among other things, references to J.D. Salinger's story about PTSD, "A Perfect Day for Bananafish". This meta has more on that and the mental health crisis plot in S2, should you be interested.

There is another word within ugrency that we can see in Maggie's note: gren.

Gren: A branch of a tree; both a literal and a figurative branch or a division in a road or a river where the road or river divides; a "fork in the road."

In this way, a gren is a point where a decision needs to be made about which direction to go in for the future.

It's when you feel like you don't know anything anymore but you're totally certain that everything would be better if you could just be near that one, particular person... you know you're at a fork in the road but you're just struggling to figure out how to safely take the path you want to take.

Gren: Something that branches from something else. A branch of a company; a branch of a family.

Gren: Part of the etymological origin of the word pomegranate, which is derived from the Old French pome grenate, meaning apple of many seeds.

Pomegranates are present in the Job minisode cellar scene but are not offered by Crowley nor consumed by Aziraphale. The fruit plays a prominent role in the Greek myth of Hades and Persephone to which Good Omens has alluded in different scenes. More on that in my response post over here, if interested.

In Modern French, it was actually pome grenade... and that is the origin of the word grenade, meaning: a small explosive shell. In the early 1500s and for an unknown amount of time prior, grenade was actually first the name for the pomegranate.

Not entirely sure where I'm going with this, other than that it is suggestive of revolution or, at least, of blowing up existing structures of a life, and also that it makes me think of Agnes turning herself into a human pomegranate.

Gren: from the Old English grennian/the Germanic grennan, which were old variants of the word grin. A grin originally meant a smile that is a snarl of pain and/or anger.

Ugrency = You gren, see...

Urgency: The word that Maggie meant to write. Something of high importance that requires immediate attention and swift action to be taken. Also: Urgency: an earnest and persistent quality; determination, doggedness, tenacity... also: obstinance, begging, pleading.

Within urgency, the word from which it is derived:

Urge: A strong desire or impulse.

To Urge: To try earnestly and persistently to persuade someone to do something.

Urgence: The French word for emergency.

Emergency: A sudden situation requiring immediate attention.

Also Emergency, though... not to go up, but...

To rise up ✊ and to rise up and out of a situation. 😊

[cannibaldetective]

this has probably been talked about, but martin burning statements in s3 and it being simplified to a tantrum and his feelings for jon, erasing him as a person outside of jon and the archives shows a lot not only about martin but also elias.

martin has always been reduced to jon's plus one or jon's employee, and he wasn't even chosen by jon (not until s4). elias immediately pokes fun at him and tries to make everything about him seem as small as possible and that his association with jon is all that really matters, "of course did jon tell you to do this?" martin is not allowed to form his own thoughts according to the eye, according to elias someone who holds a mass amount of power above martin's head, his life, his job, everything he has going for him. martin even assumed that elias is going to threaten him with bad things about jon, someone who makes up a very small part of his life up until this point all because of how much he's been manipulated and controlled that it slowly makes him feel smaller, like the world he lives in is so much smaller then everyone else around him. it makes him insignificant. the lonely was always coming for him, because everyone else made it that way. then his mothers actions in his childhood is used as a weapon. this also shows once again how martins existence is reduced to another's. his father. his mother could only see his father but not the person he was. nobody has ever seen martin for the person he was (which honestly makes peter lukas manipulation in s4 worse - esp in MAG 159)

this could even be a commentary on fandom and queer ships (even ships in general, but queer ships do get this treatment a lot more imo) where the characters are entirely watered down to their ships instead of who they are as characters and their analysis is watered down to each other and only each other - and I see this a lot with martin, alongside characters like will graham, viktor, michael shelley, gerry keay, anya even marceline and bubblegum! characters and their valuable storytelling elements and lessons just are removed for the sake of shipping discourse.

elias is now shown to only care about jon, something VERY clear during the entirety of the show. he cares about the monster he can create with jon more than anything. elias isnt a cunty queen (even though we love to see him that way, which is totally fine) he is a monster, who wants to use and abuse whoever he can control. elias has always been on a power trip, even when he was jonah. he ability to just survive through the horrors has given him enough ego that it means he can do whatever he wants to whoever. elias has always wanted martin to be controlled outside of the eye. he wants him excluded, he wants him insecure, he never wanted him to feel this sense of inclusion just imposter syndrome. a feeling that he's forcing his way into things because that's how he wanted to design him. elias designed jon AND martin. he made them how he wanted.

elias being portrayed as a queer icon in fandom doesn't help but continue to reduce martin as a character, which honestly sucks.

martin deserves to whine and cry and be uncomfortable by the supernatural because for the entirety of his employment his been tortured by the idea that he isn't valuable unless he's being helpful. does this make him a people pleaser? not really. does this make him a damaged individual who for his entire life has been reduced to nothing but another person in his life? yes.

again this goes towards tma's themes of humanity and individuality, what makes you human but what makes you an individual? why are you different? why can you do what they can't?

[kingmaxstatic]

Goodmorning, Goodbye and Goodnight: A Post About Farewells.

... How do you break away from something or a piece of yourself for so long? Or at the very least, do so in the public eye?

Let's not beat around the bush.

I'm not happy in the Sonic fandom at the moment.

(More below the post)

So let me make this PERFECTLY CLEAR I have not fallen out of love for Sonic. I still adore Sonic and I will more than continue to enjoy it!

But I'm unsure if that enjoyment can really be.. public.. for the time being.

For a while I've always couldn't help but notice that the fandom is a bundle of bickerers. Makes sense. Most of us here are ND and VERY opinionated!

But this all came to ahead when I was watching a video about Amy Rose. And as I watched, as interested as I was. A video dissecting her current writing I realized something...

I was fucking miserable!

Why do I CARE so much about other people's opinions about something I enjoy? Even if I cringe at that one bumblecast clip of Ian saying "he wishes he could redesign Amy".

Even IF I understand the concern.

I still LOVE Modern Amy! I was letting this video give me insight, yes but it also made me feel guilt for even LIKING IDW's take on Amy (and IDW in general).

Infact guilt is something I've felt A LOT in the fandom.

Shit man, Starline is my FAVORITE character in sonic, period. But it feels like both the fandom (and the writers, to an extent) want to guilt you into not liking him.

That liking him is some moral failing on YOUR part? (Literally Ignoring the fact we've literally had a few years to grow attached pre-imposter syndrome and that he didn't just magically appear post-Chao Race Arc)

Yes, Starline sucks. Yes, he (in canon) used two random mobians for cyborg stuff. I know this. He's still an enjoyable character and I don't excuse his canon actions. It's even why in my own canon of him Imposter syndrome isn't canon.

I'm tired of the stress, man. I'm tired of not enjoying Starline. I haven't been able to properly enjoy him in a wile.

For my birthday I actually bought a Bad Guys physical copy!

And I have not touched it at all.

The stress of keeping up with this fandom has actually caused me literal anxiety shivers. I don't have fun any more. There's just.. too much discourse.

And I think it's best for me if I take a step back from it. At least.

So.. What Happens Now?

Well! What happens now is that I take a public step back from the fandom! Like I said I still very much enjoy Sonic.. I just don't think that enjoyment will be AS public any more. Gush about it with friends! Play the games! Draw art.. For Myself!

This doesn't mean I won't be keeping a close eye on my sonic moots (you haven't gotten rid of me JUST yet!) but it does mean I'll probably start blocking tags. Taking some breathing room. Finding that love for Sonic again on my OWN time. Be a lil selfish with it!

I still love and adore my ocs (and they'll still be around on Toyhouse and Art Fight!) But their stories are mine to share.. and sometimes I can just.. not share them!

What happens to this Blog?

SHIT MAN! I'll still be around! I probably just won't be posting in the sonic tag any time soon. I'm in OTHER fandoms right now (Nicktoons, Crash, Etc) If you like my writing and my art In THIS fandom surely you'll enjoy it in others!/pos

Even if those fandoms are more.. obscure to say the least? This Blog, at it's core, has always been ABOUT multifandom stuff and It feels like it's finally returning to that!

Nature is healing! KingMaxStatic is finally posting about WEIRD fandoms only 3 people know about again!!

What Happens To Starvoltz?

Though not an as.. urgent question. It's one I feel has held a lot of weight, at least to me. I know people are GENUINELY such big fans of Starvoltz and I think it's been the ONE BIG THING keeping me back from making me step back from the fandom...

So... I'm killing both Starline and Voltz off..../j (I would never)

I still LOVE and ADORE Starline and Voltz! They mean the world to me (and even the MOON to me!) But over the course of the past few months I've felt a nagging GUILT about them.. and I don't want to feel that anymore. I want to ADORE Starvoltz like I used to...

and In order for me to do that I GOTTA step back.

If you wanna get a lil cute about it, you can think about it like the two going on a honey moon or a vacation!

If you've made it thus far.. thank you. Genuinely. Thank you for understanding! I hope you understand. I love sonic, I will always love sonic. But I need my own space to love Sonic.

I suppose maybe like the main character I need to be free.

Free like the wind.

[swmmi-kti]

New people and New feelings

Kyojuro Rengoku x Fem! Flower Hashira Reader

CW: being poisoned, barbs in your skin. Kinda minor imposter syndrome.

Synopsis: You are the New Flower Hashira. Which comes with a lot of new feelings.

PT 2. PT 3 PT4

You hadn’t ever yourself becoming a hashira, well you never saw yourself being a slayer at all. Regardless, here you were. You had started as water breathing but somehow found yourself now the flower breathing hashira. And while it felt nice to be a hashira now it also came with a lot of …feelings.

You were proud of yourself for getting this far, for now protecting people far more than before. However your new status and perhaps even your breathing style has left you feeling dry. 

You never could understand why Shinazugawa almost berated you. Or how Even shinobu’s calm anger seemed to slip around you. And it wasn’t like she treated you bad, but like you had opened some unsavory wounds. 

And it wasn’t until Himejima explained about the last flower hashira you began to understand. It left you feeling like you didn’t belong. Regardless you had remained headstrong. Mitsuri had taken the time to really mellow the situation out. 

You would say that along her, Himejima was also someone you had found comfort in knowing. But then that still left the others as well. Giyu never was one to speak so there wasn’t much to say about  that. 

Mitsuri had become one hell of a best friend. Happy to have you almost share a uniform with you. Regardless if you had told her you’d be found dead before wearing such a skirt. You had found it was comforting and also saddening to know you two left such a vulnerable part of yourself open in the air. 

Obanai gave you the occasional glare for spending time with Mitsuri, and as much as you teased him too about it. You find yourself a wingman, occasionally leaving the two. Sometimes helping the poor fool out, yes you arent best buddies but he found it at the least admirable what you were doing. 

You did have the occasional scrap with Uzui, not that it was out of hatred or anything, you just found him to be pompous, loud and have one hell of an ego. It was funny knocking it down a few pegs. But you found he was a hell of a good sparring partner. 

And Kyojuro. Now you never really spoke with him, and he had tried really on occasion at the least to make small talk but you could never find the right words or even feelings to begin such a trivial thing. 

Yes you were nice and formal but it was obvious to even the blind you were…abrasive with him. He was.. Well you could never find the right words. 

He was warm, Kind and perhaps a little hard headed. 

You came to knew that quickly. You never like going to the butterfly mansion. Not when you would have to see shinobu and her tsugoku. It left you always fighting the kakushi to let you tend to your own wounds. Unless it was super serious. 

You had been brought back with what you thought were superficial wounds so here you were again trying to fight off even stepping foot into the mansion. But then he had to come by.

“Y/n! Back from your… What’s going on here!” He says in his usual boisterous tone and even before you can begin to explain. You were suddenly being carried by him. 

His hands. His arms how strong they felt and yet holds you so delicately that you forgot where he was taking you. It wasn’t until you saw the usual colder eyes of Shinobu that you remembered. 

And its then that you first realized the feeling that came with kyojuro’s stubbornness. 

You abhorred him, and it was obvious then even to him he had done something wrong. But he remained quiet as Shinobu led you to a room to check on your wounds. 

You had realized then that you had poisonous barbs lodged into your body and as much as you hated being here you bit back your tongue as she worked on getting them out of you. 

“Why did you not want to get in” she began as she took another out. Her eyes calm as she worked. 

You were silent unsure of if she meant to speak with you but sigh regardless as you bega to speak “i cause you pain” 

“What?” 

You sighed as you looked at the ceiling avoiding talking all the same. You wanted to get away from here, wanted to disappear for the moment. 

.

.

Now you lay there breathing heavily as your door opens. And the colorful hue of yellows and red comes to your vision as he smiles at you “L/n! Im glad to see you are well after such a demon attack!” 

But you only rolled your eyes as you moved your head to the side away from him. 

“is…Did i do something wrong” 

“Pssh ‘did i do something wrong’. Look I appreciate you dragging me here at the very least now the poison will be flushed out of me. But I did not ask you to bring me to the butterfly mansion and at the very least not to Kochou herself” you began. Because you were grateful but surely he couldn’t be so dense that he didn't know the dislike or even the distance between you two.

“I don’t understand? You were wounded and Kochou is the best at treating injuries” 

“Yes but Kochou and i don't at all get along” 

Almost anyone knew that you and her didn't even speak, surely he knew too. But as you watched him tilt his head and give you a questioning look you sighed. 

Oh. My. God. He’s dense.

[landhoe-norris]

i can't even a little bit with this fandom today.

lando norris has the most points scored after max since the austrian gp. he's been driving the wheels off the car all year, and let's not forget that the car was almost stationary throughout the first races. it truly wouldn't have mattered if he had fred flinstoned that car back in Bahrain, he wouldn't have gone any slower than he actually did. he is the fifth lowest when it comes to money that he has cost the team when it comes to crashes. he's an incredibly safe driver who knows how to handle the car. he was p2 in the sprint shootout. p2. he’s not finished. fuck off with that rhetoric.

his race pace is miles ahead of his teammate's (and that's not a jab at oscar cause unlike some fans i do not enjoy pitting these two against each other).

i have seen so many comments aimed at lando about him not "handling the pressure", how he "needs to do better", "needs to learn to not make mistakes", "needs to grow a thicker skin" and i don't even know where to begin.

first things first, he's 23 years old. that's the fourth youngest on the grid. we sometimes forget about that since he was only 19 when he debuted, and therefore we've had the pleasure of watching him race for almost five years.

lando has been very vocal about his mental health. it was horrible when he debuted in 2019. he had imposter syndrome, was incredibly hard on himself, and didn't have a lot of faith in his ability, something that he said in a press conference with sebastian vettel back in 2021. he has managed to work at his mental health, become an advocate for others and has shown great leadership in the team since he had to step up back in 2021.

there are not a lot of things that people can "use" against lando to try and make him sim like a "grid filler" or a mediocre driver. most of the time it comes down to one thing, and that's sochi 2021. that race is what people use to claim that he can't deal with pressure. but what people omit and fail to realise or just don't care about is that sochi was on the team, not on lando as a driver. he made a call to stay on the slicks because the team told him the rain would stay the same until the end of the race and then didn't update him when the forecast changed. even lewis said he would have made the same call, with the same information.

it's amazing to see, that in all the years that he's been on the grid, there's one thing that can be thrown back at him, and you really have to be stretching, or just plain stupid, to even use that.

because of this incident, people like to say that he can't handle the pressure of being an f1 driver. that's bullshit. we've seen time and time again that he can, in fact, handle pressure. it doesn't matter where it's coming from.

there are others saying that he can't handle the pressure coming from oscar since he's only really had to measure himself up against carlos as a rookie, and then dan, who was fucking shit, but again, that's bullshit. he's still miles ahead when it comes to race pace, setups and tyre management.

does he put too much pressure on himself? probably. but that's the hunger. that's what's keeping him going, keeping him motivated.

does he beat himself up too much? in my opinion, yes but that also shows that he's never satisfied and that he will keep going and won't stop until he's achieved what he's set out for himself.

sure, he now has the most points scored without a win in f1, with half the fewer races than the one in p2. can you even imagine that? lando, who has never had the fastest car in his 5 years in f1, now has 525 points in 98 races! what a fucking goat.

and you're telling me he's fifth in the "most podiums with a win" with ten podiums? imagine getting this many podiums in the mclaren he's been driving in! sure, it's gotten better after summer break, where he has scored 4 podiums, but good god, he must be an excellent driver to be able to get 6 podiums in the trashcan he was driving in 2019-2022.

lando is a lot of things, and i would say, (even if i wasn't biased and i wasn't rooting for him), that most of those things are positive.

but what you cannot say is that he isn't winning material, and isn't passionate about the sport.

and for every single person out there who loathes him because he dared win against their fave, i can promise you that there are more people who love him. he's adored and respected in the paddock itself by the people who actually matter, and he is wanted by the biggest team(s) there is because of his race craft and intelligence.

i can say with a straight face that lando norris is wdc material, and i feel sorry for you if you can't accept that.

[definitelynotshouting]

Holaaa I love ur hunger AU- I was reading the master post in regards to it and I immediately got the delicious question, does Grian ever get impostor syndrome?? I'm not done reading it so I'm not entirely sure if this has been touched on, but one of my first thoughts was how people call Xisuma grians watcher name, and how he kinda rebranded himself to mask as a player - but in your AU it would be like more literal?

Let me start over my brains getting away from me jkhjvghbjkj BUT since he's an artificial watcher and he was kind of "created" via parasitic takeover, would he ever have a body horror impostor syndrome uncanny valley moment? That feeling of "this body isn't mine" even though it technically *is* his, he's been living in it, he has all Grian's memories, he wears Grian's face, relatively speaking everything about him screams that Grian is him, his identity his name his body - but ever since becoming a watcher he feels like what if he isn't Grian? What if the real Grian *died* upon pupation and whatever he is now just *thinks* he's Grian.

Kinda like Fern from adventure time! A delicious thing for my mind to rotate >:]]]]

A bit late on answering this so you've probably already seen it by now, but yes Grian has MAD imposter syndrome, and thats a theme that will be carried on throughout the entire fic :]]] if you've ever played the horror game SOMA, thats where i got the inspiration for the Watchers copying Grian's memory code into the body of a Watcher larva.

Grian experiences a lot of cognitive dissonance about what happened to him in the fic, and what it means for him as a person now-- part of his current coping mechanism is to say he ISNT the real Grian, but its not that cut and dry. I dont want to spoil things too much, but that idea is smth thats going to be explored really closely as a main theme of the fic once we get out of Arc 1

[indigo-constellation]

Your changeling!Daniil is amazing. Your Clara Burakh is amazing. Your totally-normal-scientist (who totally didn't do anything like Jack the Ripper and Victor Frankenstein in the capital! only ethically sourced bodies here!) Artemiy is amazing.

Clara as Haruspex is breaking my heart especially! The way you wrote her being friends with the kids - how Artemiy was once with Stakh, Grief and Lara - and how she has a foreboding feeling she won't belong with them once it is all over, because her role is to protect them, not be one of them! Rat man still found a way to be mean my girl 😭 Also she and Grace are so sweet. Wanted to say that Grace's name (Ласка) in Russian has double meaning: 1) weasel (animal); 2) tenderness. Do with that as you will~

Also Daniil (both of them) is so good as a changeling. I loved that quiet moment he had with Clara on the stage, where they say how odd it is to play like that. Love the eyes of the "twins" being what sets them apart, too! Raven feels like he wants to be a bad guy, but can't quite bring himself. Regretful plague that is also a dead man who is alive but only because the sickness is. Snake being so gentle and kind and seemingly having some sort of planning he doesn't fully share even with the reader. Also Daniil speaking Hebrew! I gasped when I realised. It's also a fun contrast to him only speaking in Latin in the game, especially if we still to see him as Jewish. Makes me really want to see how you'd write bachelor!Daniil! Want to take a look inside his head! I know what I shall read next.

Artemiy having a worst imposter syndrome out of all of them because of coming back home where he was supposed to take on his father's role and finding the man who was a founder of a project that could be called Artemiy's life work is comedy gold. Also his little sister literally living the life he refused! 10/10 no notes. Artemiy and his unfun coming-home-to-steppe party! 🥳 Roots, Rain and Reflection is secretly a comedy.

Thank you for writing this amazing role reversal, don't think I will be able to get it out of my head.

tumblr is so annoying bc I had a whole response and then it got deleted roijepigjetiuheoigj let me try to write what I can remember and hopefully do it better

I literally screamed when I read this ask btw thank you so much

the healers in this fic are so incredibly dear to me and I love them so much, I love getting to focus on them, yes Artemy's organs and cadavers as ethically sourced and fresh as he can get them :D

Haruclara truly deserves so much, she doesn't fit into the Termites despite being a kid herself, half because of the way she was raised and half because of the nature of the story and the separation of Healers and Bound. While also having messy connections with the other two Healers. I really wish I could have more Grara but this is primarily p1 focused so the Bound's role is limited (the amount of Yulia/Rubin/Lara/Aspity I had to cut- istg I was so excited to have an Aspity and Artemy interaction on day 6 but it would've been too long) I will keep what you said in mind though! thank you ^^

Changeniil has been so write, he keeps so much of himself hidden, so getting to reveal those small bits of him like in that theatre bit are great. The hands and the eyes being the main things to distinguish the twins Dankovsky is fun because those are two things Pathologic focuses on a lot, though I will say that there might be more later on. The Raven is a miserable wet beast, the idea behind the twins has been that different bits of Daniil are split up, so and what's fun about that is that it's Plagueniil that has the idealism. He's a fucked up guy held together only by spite and disease but he cares so much it hurts him. The Snake is also a creature, truly, he knows his plan, Raven knows his plan (and doesn't like it at all), and I know how it will fail, the narrators being unreliable is such a fun part of patho. I always write Daniil as Jewish (because he is to me lol) but specifically Daniil I think fits with Hebrew because it is a revived language and as a guy who is trying to defeat death I think it would suit him (also revived language and revived Daniil was an intentional choice) I will say though, idk how well my old writing holds up bc my writing got a lot better while writing roleswap so go at your own risk lol

Finally, Bachtemy, a dearly beloved fool <3 he used to have a much bigger conflict with Daniil about Daniil not being who Artemy expected him to be and that being a lot more angsty but then I started writing that scene and it turned out gay so nice. There's a lot about Artemy I'm planning to go into in chapter 7 so look out for that. Artemy is also 100% the character I get to make the funniest, truly the comedian of the cast, I am putting him in the blender as I write this.

thank you again for this!! sorry with inflicting you with the thinking about it curse lol, it's happened to a few people as I've seen and idk how to fix that (I am also infected I cannot stop thinking abt this au) but this long ask really made me so happy to see and I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!

[realclaramorrow]

my (admittedly not very good or coherent) thoughts on wind and truth so far, divided by characters and kind of organized by storyline?

not all of us can read that fast, wind and truth spoilers up to chapter 80 below

- I love adolin and yanagawn's friendship, they are so important to me. he's teaching him towers and theyre genuinely friends and he got noura to begrudgingly approve and gah. I love them dearly. I would like lift to be able to talk to yanagawn again too. adolin trying to learn everyones name is so emotionally intelligent of him. I love that that one guard (hmask?) got to tell adolin that he saved his son, sweetest moment ever. me son you!!!!!! adolin is so much smarter than so many characters (and readers) seem to think he is, his head for battle strategy is almost unmatched and he's an incredible leader. may aladar is an icon and notum coming to help was very satisfying. his growing bond with maya is not only healing her but its healing my heart. I dont know if in the future they can bond like aliveEye spren and person can but that would be neat. adolin would make a fantastic edgedancer.

- sigzil the man the myth the legend himself is crushing it with an awful situation in narak. his plot is the most anxiety inducing to me because they are not getting shit for help and the everstorm is literally parked right there. the engineering being key to his strategy is very cool to me because no one else is doing anything like that. also, vienta being able to calculate the lashing force and distance needed to kill one of the new fused (forgot their names. the belt guys) is epic and theyre such a duo.

- venli and co. in the chasms is going to play into the battle for narak most definitely. chasmfiends being chill with them is so awesome and cool. chasmfiend pov chapter when. pure tones of roshar save the day? also want rlain reuniting with these listeners so he can a) see his friends and the remnants of his people and b) chew them out for letting him go be a spy with absolutely no protest

- dalinar is getting on my nerves, I understand he's under a lot of pressure but he's being such a dick to the stormfather. in character yes but MAN do I wish both of them were better at communicating. the spiritual realm storyline is very interesting and the way he's going about it is putting me in physical pain.

- loving the navani time but I low key miss the scientific toxic lovers thing she had going on with raboniel. I dont see how she puts up with dalinar, because he's a blundering ape. also, I share adolin's opinions about oathbringer's publication of the razing of rathalas.

- little gav is a revenge hungry angel but an angel nonetheless

- CHANA DAVAR CANON???????

- shallan has grown so much and I'm so proud of her :) I love getting details about her backstory and I love that formless wasnt a one and done defeat. she has to keep fighting her. just as veil was created to hold difficult memories I think radiant was created to battle shallan's imposter syndrome and self confidence issues. it would be cool if radiant was also integrated by the end of the book, but at this point its clear shallan still needs her. great investigating of the ghostbloods and ba ado mishram. it pleases me. dalinar take notes.

- rlain making a soul projection of him and renarin kissing and renarin being like holy shit we do NOT have time to address this was so funny. I love them too. my weird little autistic queers. they're so othered from their respective peoples that theyre each other's people. shallan is tired of their flirting after literally 1 second. they're meant to be. rlainarin canon I love gay people (and trans people. shout out that one trans blacksmith in azimir and that one person that desperately wanted to talk to the sibling and was immediately like "so what is not being male or female like")

- kaladin's journey of self care here sure seems like the way to swearing the fifth ideal, and syl being on her own journey that way is so so fantastic. spren learning how not to live for their radiants is very poetic to me in a way I can't explain right now because tired. nale gets on my fucking NERVES. I know people that argue like that and I hate hate hate them. whats up with the wind? want more info about the old gods of roshar, made directly from adonalsium. sequence with kaladin dancing with syl and the wind is absolutely gorgeous. kaladin's realization that szeth is like tien instead of like himself was heartbreaking and a great example of dramatic irony. the observant reader (me) sees him treating szeth as a man who chose to fight instead of a boy who was forced to (because reader gets the exact years ago and the ages and such) and goes NO KALADIN NO

- szeth is becoming one of my favorite characters. I love knowing about his backstory as well. the culture of shinovar is so interesting to me. the splashes? stone being sacred? the Farmer, their monasteries (I LOVE monasteries), the ritual of pilgrimage? adding and subtracting? love it all. also szeth being like "thank you kaladin I can finally off myself" and kaladin being like "no?????????" was kind of hilarious. his spren is a piece of shit. I really dislike that highspren. most unhelpful spren ever. also, is the voice odium or an unmade or the stones (like the wind) or a secret fourth thing? (edit: I haven't read much further but I'm an idiot, its obviously ishar because of the spren) I have such feelings about szeth but you need to just know them as I project them from my heart to yours.

- jasnah kholin the love of my life has finally broken up with my competition (Wit) and she's also figured out that the ships dont actually have soldiers in them which is so so smart. back to the scholar roots. best leaders are always academics (like sigzil) or genuinely caring people (like adolin and kaladin) (dalinar watch your back. however, I acknowledge that he cares). jasnah is the smartest person in this damn book and her pointing out her own fallacies and internally discussing the effects of her as a general and knowing how everything about her affects how she is percieved a role model for women all over eastern roshar shows it. I appreciate jasnah freeing slaves and learning from her mistakes and actually trying and stuff but its upsetting that this is definitely brandon's extent of addressing lighteyed privelage and displaying that complex relationship. I have read very very good fanfiction about this, in which it was good to see that other people agreed that "bridgeboy" is a much more offensive nickname than "princeling" (because of the power imbalance and racial connotations of "boy")

- why are we doing hemalurgy on roshar rn. (also aluminum negating investiture everywhere is cool and awesome.) moash is really only one letter away from marsh. also, I'm losing hope for a redemption arc for him. can't tell if its good or bad narrative for a story with overarching morals of second chances to have moash not be redeemed. on one hand, it's not realistic to redeem everyone. on the other, I don't think he's beyond redemption and I think it would tie up that storyline in a nice little bow. but in real life, nothing ends in a nice bow like that. teft's story ended beautifully, and its tragic he died, but he had reached the end. I think its interesting when characters are purposefully killed off before completing their arc or veer in a different direction because it leaves the audience unsatisfied and feels more empty and like a real untimely death. my feelings about moash are complex, but as someone invested in these characters I want him to be redeemed

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

RoR: A missed opportunity

Spoilers for the RoR, and other Chronicles of the Avatar novels. (mostly just Roku's and Kyoshi's, but light general plot stuff for Yangchen)

The title can also be called "Wow, they could've TOTALLY done more exploration with Kyoshi's Legacy and Roku's imposter syndrome"

Roku has imposter syndrome in the novel. It's bad. It's stupid. It comes up only every so often, partially because we have our asses being yeeted away from him to someone more "interesting" (and sometimes that someone is BARELY more interesting than Roku).

Like I'm sorry, I bought a ROKU novel. Shouldn't I be getting more ROKU?! >_>

Roku's imposter syndrome can be summed up with:

I'm not as good as my twin Yasu

My parents like Yasu more

Maybe I'm more like the false Avatar Yun

How could I compare to Kyoshi? (mentioned like ONCE/not a lot)

Sozin and Yasu would've probs been a better pick than me (I think this was said by him, that or it was Sozin.....it's whatever)

You can sum it up fairly easily because it's not talked about a lot. 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 And sometimes when it is, it's not even from Roku's perspective.

"Ok ok Silly. You don't like how his imposter syndrome is handled. Is that the missed opportunity?" Yes and no. :D

The miss opportunity is not utilizing Kyoshi more and keeping this story waaaaaay too self contained.

"Yeah yeah we know you like Kyosh-" *grabs lips between my fingers* Shhhhh little voice in my head. That's not what this is AT ALL!

This novel fails to capitalize not only on something the OTHER novels haven't had a chance to, BUT it also failed to capitalize on stuff the other's HAD done! :D

In all honesty, it really is a feat it was able to to do BOTH! At once! It really goes to show how wishy washy this whole thing is..... >_>

Let's focus on what it failed to do that R/SoK and D/LoY did: Feeling the weight of their previous incarnations. Their ripples. Their choices. Their consequences.

R/SoK has Kuruk all over it. Everything Kyoshi is dealing with? Thanks to Kuruk. He may only be mentioned (by name) like 56ish times in RoK, but everything Kyoshi is dealing with is tied back to him. His team is heavily involved (as heroes/protags and villains/antags), the state of the world being just ass crack is because of his reign with all the Daofei running rampant (until Jianzhu cleans up....a lot of it, but not all). Just....EVERYTHING. And it only snowballs as we get into SoK. (where it's kinda revealed that it's not just Kuruk's ripples she has to deal with but Yangchen's...AND Szeto's too!)

Then we have D/LoY. Yangchen has to deal with Szeto fallout, which isn't as insane as Kuruk's (again, not entirely Kuruk's fault, he had to focus on saving the world from spirits). But it's still an ass fucked deal Yangchen is dealt. People just LOVE bringing up Szeto and her other past lives around her.

Like Yangchen and Kyoshi canNOT get away from their past lives. Either them being throw in their faces, dealing with visions and them meddling, or just the world/old friends of them just fucking about in their world!

(and this isn't getting into Aang dealing with all of Roku's BS in ATLA, or some of the issues Kyoshi left him [ironically!]. Or Korra dealing with Aang/Wan's stuff, let alone the Red Lotus just being anti-Avatar)

You want to know what Roku has to deal with? Nothing. Fucking. Nothing. Gotta give a hand to Kyoshi, she stuck around so long she smoothed the ripples that Szeto, Yangchen, and Kuruk (and her own too, at the time) must've made because Roku barely register's her on any type of Richter scale! :'D Oh oh, MAYBE, like MAYBE the Earth Kingdom people deciding to jump onto the island MIGHT be a fallout. But it's not like.....her fallout (it probs really isn't her deal tbh). It's the usual "ok Avatar died, time to fuck about" fallout....but even then we don't really hear a lot of shit going on????

Which is just so INSANE?! Like, this woman lived to be 230! What do you MEAN there's nothing?

Like Kyoshi's presence is NOT THERE??? Like where is it?!

WTF??? TT0TT Like this is INSANE, not just for how long Kyoshi's been alive, but like...just compared to the other entries!

Like with the other Chronicles? Kyoshi and Yangchen still were able to showcase ripples with AVATAR'S THAT HADN'T BEEN EXPLORED FULLY YET! We still felt ripples from Kuruk and Yangchen and Szeto in JUST KYOSHI'S NOVELS! Not even getting into Yangchen, just Kyoshi did we feel it!

Like I said above, even in ATLA and we feel the ripples with Kyoshi and Roku! Hell Kyoshi had more ripples in ATLA than she did with Roku's novel! Maybe even Korra (with the whole Chin/Kuvira parallel). LoK showcased ripples, not just from Aang but from Wan!

Like what is going on RoR??? Why are you afraid of a few wrinkles?! TT0TT

I think we actually get more wrinkles from SZETO'S era than we do from KYOSHI! What the hell? Like no. The whole Fire National identity is brought up a lot. Szeto's name, even if unspoken, is kinda hanging there in the background. He's also brought up in the library to showcase the truth behind the island.

Listen, I love Szeto. I love his ratchet ass causing issues for every Avatar (it's my fav running gag besides the Saowon's being lil' shits). I was hoping for it in this book actually! But we really should be dealing with both Szeto and Kyoshi in this novel. Both are shadows that should be crushing Roku right now. Like how Kuruk and Yangchen were for Kyoshi!

It really should've been paralleling Kyoshi more. Kyoshi had Kuruk, the disappointment, and then Yangchen the "Golden child she should be like" weighing on her. No one outright told her TO be like Yangchen. She just decided it was the best option. Everyone revered Yangchen, so obviously she's a good role model! She should be like her! We constantly hear her brought up in prayer! She's constantly being crushed between trying to make good choices like Yangchen, and not be a disappointment like Kuruk.

Roku should be dealing with that too! But it's Szeto/Kuruk (for the negatives) and Yangchen/Kyosh (for the positives). Hell, they can even play with it by flip flopping depending on who's talking (so like a Fire National may make a parallel of: Kyoshifor neg like Kuruk, and Szeto for pos like Yangchen, which is ironically how Kyoshi framed it in her novels, because they like Szeto and not Kyoshi).

Basically, "Do/Don't be like Szeto" and "Do/Don't be more like Kyoshi!"/"Can you live up to/exceed Kyoshi?" Should be two narratives he has to deal with in this novel..... But yet doesn't.

_______

*Inhales*

"Ok so we figured out what it didn't do that the other novels did. Now what did it fail to capitalize on that the other novels didn't have going for it?" Kyoshi.

"Yes we now you-" No. I mean, we have Kyoshi. This is a first time for the novels to have already had a previous Avatar be fairly known by the fandom.

Now we don't know ALL 230 years of her life. We only know up to about the 40th year. But 1) we got two novels of her early life, 2) we know her legacy in AtLA/LoK. Before Wan, she probs had the most info on her besides Roku. Like that's a decent amount to go on. More than Yangchen. Def more than Kuruk or Szeto.

And it would've been a good way to give us more insight on her last years too! :D So what do we get?

We get none of that.

Like you know how crazy this is? It's like having LoK but NEVER, EVER addressing Aang, at least in S1. I know LoK didn't focus a lot on Aang, but we still had his influence all around (esp in S1 when he was still available). His children/grandchildren, friends were still around. We got SOOOO many flashbacks in Season 1. And to the show's credit, at least it came up with a reason for him not to show up again starting with S2 (aka losing the past Avatars). We still get a lot of his essence!

But RoR has none of that? A few off handed remarks about Kyoshi existing at some point. The biggest one being some guy being like "Yeah no I wouldn't have fucked with her."

"Oh! But we have Disha" oh great. >_> She's....just so great......and like....barely a character......hmmmm...... No, girlie ain't even here for most of the book.

And what we get is barely anything. Hei-Ran in RoK has more of a presence than Disha! And that's saying something! We didn't get a lot of Hei-Ran! Hell, Kelsang has more presence than Disha!

Both of them do so much more with their screen time than Disha! I know SO MUCH about them as people/characters with what little screen time I get just in RoK.

Gyatso does more to give us insight on Kysoshi than Disha does imo.

It's just....wow. Just circling back to the lack of ripples. It's just....insane!

Back to my point above the line. It would be more interesting to see people looking at Roku and being like:

Fire Nationals: Be like Szeto! Don't be like Kyoshi! Non Fire Nationals: Don't be like Szeto! Be like Kyoshi! "Why can't you decide?" "Why can't you bend?" "Oh, Kyoshi could've/would've done this-"

Like, again, this should be weighing on him, like constantly. Like he communicates this particular weight on him! Not the generic "oh am I gonna be good enough?" generalization sad boi bs I get. I want specifics sweetie! What you gave me was a generic snooze fest, I wanna feel your despair in my BONES. Tell me why these ideologies are tearing you apart molecule by molecule!

Like, Roku and Kuruk were both successors of one of the most highly regarded Avatars. From what we've got of Kuruk, he seems like he was taking it pretty well (until the great Spirits started spiriting). It didn't seem like he had much pressures, either he was good a hiding his true feelings (which is valid because he does that later) or he really was go with the flow early on before the sprits (also valid, he seemed at peace from what we know)

Roku crumbling under Kyoshi's giant shadow should've been his big arc. (Not....not ho-humming about Sozin and Sozin related things/aventures/whatever the fuck you wanna call the premise of this book, tbh the Sozin thing is handled afdklsajfkldjsalf ahhhhrrrrgggg! TT0TT That's for a different time, but Sozin shouldn't have been this involved it just messes with the previously established lore man.....).

They should've been leaning into this like crazy. Leaning into Szeto. Lean into Kyoshi. Into Yun. Into Yasu! A lot more than they did! (Oh don't assume I like Yasu ajkfjdslkf I know I'm saying lean into it more, but I think Yasu was an unnecessary addition)

That being said, one of the best chapters is Roku Alone and us exploring his past with Yasu! Because we actually get something from Roku for once! The next is Two Wicks cause we actually get some Kyoshi! Like those are the two chapters that touch on his issues the most, but the rest of the book just meanders along.

I dunno, I just feel like this whole internal conflict should've/could've/would've carried this book. Not a bs island mystery where we spend like half the book not in Roku's head but in two other people's instead. (And one of them is doing fuck all in a desert >_>) (the whole island premise should've been used for a different Avatar, would've served them better than it did Roku....but that's for a different rant).

It's just a shame. Roku had a good set up. The imposter syndrome and having to deal with Szeto and Kyoshi's shadows? Mwuah! Cinema!

But in the end it was wasted. TT0TT

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Live Action Thoughts!

-First of all, ya'll need to leave those child actors alone, they are babies and they didn't write the show, nor was it their idea to do it. I have seen way too many people body shaming children; leave them alone they all did well!

-I think Gordon makes Aang just as cute and small and powerful as I always saw him as!! He manages to joke around and be fun even when the storyline is a lot darker and more serious.

-I really wish Sokka was able to be more of his goofy and silly self. I understand why he isn't, and his humor is more sarcasm and dark jokes, but I saw glimpses of him in there! His excitement when he was with the Mechanist, engineering and getting to do something other than be in charge. Also when he has any older brother convo with Katara or Aang. I'm hopeful with time he'll be able to loosen up!

-(Speaking of the Mechanist, my boy Danny Pudi was SO GOOD, I love him, him and his little son).

-I wish Aang would practice waterbending with Katara :( those scenes of them practicing together were always some of my favorites in the series. Just beautiful kataang moments. I'm glad they addressed it but I missed those moments.

-I don't understand how you guys can't be having fun watching this, I get so excited waiting for little moments of lore, or when Jet and Katara were fighting in the forest I was sitting in front of the TV like "WHERE'S SMELLERBEE AND LONGSHOT. OH MY GOD NO IT'S PIPSQUEAK!" It's just so much fun! The colors are beautiful, the effects are gorgeous, and the plot and characters are entertaining. Think about the piece as it's own thing and enjoy it!

-Adaptations are just that; adaptations, and things will be changed! I think so far I haven't minded their changes, I understand why they've been made. There are things to criticize, but I think this is pretty well done.

-Zuko is fantastic; I think all the child actors are fairly good but Dallas' pissy attitude and the faces he makes are so so fun! I feel for Zuko and I'm scared of him when he shows up, and he's just as annoying and bratty as ponytail Zuko should be. His physical motions are fantastic!

-TEO WAS SO LITTLE?? Oh my god, like as a kid I thought the cartoon version of him was kinda hot so when they wheeled that tiny baby in I was HORRIFIED.

-Idk why YOU ALL weren't scared of Lizzy Yu's Azula, but her little smile in her intro scene gave me a lil chill. Maybe it's because I was away when the show first came out so I saw post after post about how bad she was, but I just.... Thought she'd be worse?? She did really well! Ya'll better be careful though or Gaten Matarazzo will come for you, that's his girl.

-So far the mushing of plots has made sense to me. Yes, I miss the silly filler episodes and the traveling the Gaang did, but it allows us to sit in a scene longer, and to colorize the world better, when we're in one place and one plot for longer. I think that's important for this type of medium and this amount of episodes. They might be able to justify more next season if this show does well enough.

-I am OBSESSED with Zuko and the 41st division oh my god, what a fantastic and well thought out addition. The reveal, and they're bowing for him when he comes back was DEVASTATING.

-They we're GIVING us Sokka and Katara best sibling moments, I loved all of them. They are so cute, they just mean so much to me.

-I don't feel Appa or Momo as characters like I did in the cartoon. I'm hoping this can change, because rn they surprise me every time they get on screen. I'm like "WHAT- oh it's Momo, he's here." How are we going to feel Appa's loss as much as we did in the cartoon if they continue to like barely be in it.

-Ken Leung SLAYED as Admiral Zhao, I watched him go literally insane as the episodes went on.

-Aang's imposter syndrome and feeling of failure being focused on I will always enjoy, even if I hope he can be silly next season too. His entire character arc this season just made me want to cry.

-Bro the coloring during the the Siege of the North was A M A Z I N G. The way the color faded in and out with fireballs and the monster koi passing nearby, just so pretty. It looked awesome.

-Making Yue a waterbender? The best. Her freezing Sokka in place so he can't stop her? Heartbreaking.

-Iroh and Zuko paddling off looking for bestie Lt. Jee?? Okay.

-They really grew this show up for us adults that watched it in 2005 and focused in on the really painful moments, themes, and details.

[eponastory]

Alright let's break this silly argument down a bit shall we?

First off, yes, everyone in the Gaang has trauma. We know this, and we don't disregard that. We know that Sokka and Katara have trauma. We know Aang has guilt over what happens with the Air Nomads when he ran away. We know Toph has baggage because her parents kept her confined because of her disability. That's all been established.

Comparing trauma does not work in anyone's favor because it's different from person to person and the way that it's treated. Hell, there are FOUR types of PTSD and not all of them have to do with existential circumstances. Some of these types have nothing to do with being in a situation that causes panic.

But it's how we deal with our trauma that sets us on the path to healing.

In Katara's case, she had some pretty severe Survivors Guilt. Not necessarily PTSD, but it could be argued that she does have that. It changed her life irrevocably and that is something she had to deal with. She does get to deal with it in TSR but this leads to conflict between her and the group because there is this perception of her that isn't really her.

Sokka has to rise above his issues with being a non-bender and feeling left out. I also feel like he hides a lot behind his humor to deflect how he really feels about things. This is what happens when you have anxiety about meeting expectations. He has expectations he has to fulfill, and it never goes right. He's afraid of disappointing people he cares about and doesn't want to let them down. He isn't a failure, but when he does actually do something amazing, there is Imposter Syndrome. We don't see it much, but we do in NAtLA.

I'm not going to talk about Aang. I refuse.

Toph has been sheltered her whole life because she is blind. She is at home with herself, but she doesn't like anyone to do anything for her. She eventually learns that it's okay to have help when she needs it and that it's okay to have friends. (Not comparing trauma here, but she has the minor character arch out of all of them)

Zuko is... a lot to unpack. At the beginning, we know next to nothing about him except that he is the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and he's hunting the Avatar to reclaim his 'honor'. He's hot-headed, but we never actually see him hurting anyone. He threatens, but he doesn't want to hurt people. That's the first sign that things aren't all they seem with Sifu Hotman. Throughout book one we get to know him a little better and see that he is Banished from home because of a 'misunderstanding' and he was also brutally abused by his own father. In the Netflix Adaptation it's more nuanced at how Ozai is playing his children against each other for his own benefit. It sucks but it's also good writing (some of the best writing is done with the characters of the Fire Nation) but anyway, we get an understanding of where Zuko's trauma comes from.

He has been emotionally abused by his narcissistic sociopath of a father because Zuko didn't have that 'spark' in his eyes at birth (not the entire reason but I'll get to that in a bit). Azula was the Prodigy, so Ozai put all his focus on to her. Then, his mother literally killed Azulon to save Zuko's life, but he doesn't find out until later. All of that plus the Agni Kai against his father is why he is so invested in finding the Avatar. Ozai seemingly took everything away from Zuko, but Zuko still loves his father and his people.

So why is he chasing the Avatar? Because he wants to go back to everything he knows. It's not just about getting back something that was never really taken away, it was all about getting back everything Ozai took from him.

Zuko never lost his honor, but he had everything else stripped from him and was humiliated for it.

He eventually grows through this and begins to heal himself with confronting Ozai on the Day of Black Sun. That was when he said 'fuck this shit I'm doing this my way' and that royally pisses Ozai off.

So if you don't like that our argument has better standing than yours, I suggest you go take some creative writing classes and learn about character development.

[cosmic-nopedog]

Could you possibly share more of your kirakira swap au... it is very inch resting to me!! (also- cute art :D)

THANK YOU, I AM GOING INSANE WITH NO ONE OTHER THAN MY BROTHER TO TALK ABT THIS OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDD

ok ok so, its a very simple swap au as i've said and im gonna be shooo honest with youo, its ciel x ichika, i like the ship i think they are cute together SO ITS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT ANYWAYS THIS IS GOING TO BE KINDA LONG

In this au, ichika is a fairy from strawberry mountain, and goes off to paris to learn about sweet making like ciel in the og, however unlike ciel, she goes alone and does learn from jean pierre and gets shot into the lime light, but the thing is that she kinda feels like somethings missing.

yeah she makes a lot of kiraru with her technique alone and her passion for sweets making but it feels a lil.. empty, she is a very lonely girl and at the beginning very clumsy [its still ichika cmon dsfjn vg] so she kinda also has this like BIG imposter syndrome thing going on, she masks it well enough for PR and what not but shes kinda worried that this all is just a big stroke of luck and some day shes going to inevitably fail.

I will say i do have kind of a storyline in mind so bear with me dfkjbnjkdf.

Anyways, she goes on her life in paris as Uzuki Ichika: Prodigy Patissiere [am still making the au so bear with me for there will be changes here n there] and nothing more, UNTIL, she runs into Usami Satomi [aka Ichika's mom in the og storyline] and they talk, and she learns that Satomi is a doctor and lives in strawberry mountain and all that stuff and shes in paris temporarily as part of her job, and i want them SOMEHOW i've yet to really think about all the details to develop a sorta soft ish guardian&kid relationship like, thats not ur kid but might as well be type thing.

ANYWAYS, after enough time [yet to be determined] i feel like ichika starts confiding in Satomi alot of the feelings she has going on and Satomi brings up the idea of taking a break and going back to like her home town, and Ichika does agree and all [BUT I WANT SOME REALISM HERE RIGHT not too much tho we still have fun,] but does bring up the fact that she probably wont have a place to stay if she does so [excuses cus she could very much so stay with the fairies] and CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG but a long time ago i did read something about how if you know like, a family in a country well enough they can like take u in for some time? like Adopt you so tospeak AGAIN I MIGHTVE HALLUCINATED THIS but if not yeah, THATS what happens.

So shes staying with the Usami's! yay! well just the dad cus Satomi does have to travel cus of her job n what not, and goes back to strawberry mountain to hopefully clear her head and maybe remember why she did all of this in the first place.

THATS THAT ON ICHIKA, which im going to be sho honest with you, shes the one i've like thought abt the most, mainly cus i like making the pink cures depressed kdsnbjkfdb BUT ALSO because shes in SUCH a situation and i find that inchresting.

I WILL ALSO SAY, im not swapping everyone, just ciel n ichika, mainly cus i find making ichika a fairy and ciel a cringe fail amateur patissiere very fun and inchresting BUT I DIGRESS.

NOW, AS FOR CIEL, shes a normal girl that has just moved into strawberry mountain, ysee, she is originally from strawberry mountain but moved out at some point in her life and decided to sort of move back in to take care of her grandmother who still recides in there, Rio also came along with her cus I LOVE MY SIBLING DYNAMICS OK.

SPEAKING OF, the way i see their dynamic is that they are very close and yes they stil have their shared interest in sweets and what not but ciel is more of a What happens if I double the amount of batter type interest and Rio is more of a Watches 3 bilion youtube videos on alot of recepies that he sometimes asks ciel if they can try out. Which ofcousre has a very diverse rate of success kdjfhbjbk.

They have the Passion and all the Feelings into it but Not alot of technical skill, I do think they meet Pekorin the same way Ichika met Pekorin in the og story, AND I DO WANT TO MAKE RIO A CURE, HE WILL BE A CURE I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

OH speaking of, i did kinda change Ichikas and Ciel's cure names, Ichika is now Cure Meringue and Ciel is now Cure Velvet.

AND THATS PRETTY MUCH WHAT I HAVE LIEK SOLIDIFIED AS OF RN!!!

I do have some liek spare thoughts here and there like, Ichika and Pekorin Have a sybling dynamic slash are actual sisters and at somepoint i want ichika to get stained in shadow maybe same with Rio but i have yet to figure out a cohesive storyline for that, BUT I WILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTT!!!

Also do NOT spoil me shit, I have NOT finished Kirakira Precure as of rn, IM CLOSE BUT NOT THERE YET.

LAST THING: i will call this AU very simply Strawberry Meringue Au

That is all.