#yes cymru

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

I’ve been highly confused as to why Michael “deeply openly thirsting on Twitter about David Tennant for half a decade” Sheen is half-in half-out the closet but apparently Wales is absurdly homophobic lmao what the fuck how is a country the size of New Jersey that much of a hater bruh we out number the shit out of you

[queerlyhalloween]

we need a fucking independent Wales yesterday

transport for wales will charge you 6 million pounds to take a 2hr train and there wont even be a fucking bathroom

[official-wales]

national bird of wales should be the common shag

that's what they call me

[dailynickywire]

(17/10/24)

unsure about the photographer

follow for more daily Nick pics

[crwbannwen]

Welsh Mythical Creature of the Month (Mis Rhagfyr)

Mis Rhagfyr/December: Mari Lwyd

More a tradition than a creature. This Christmas Tradition is when a member of the neighbourhood would decorate a house skull and hide under it (supposedly the skull of your most recently buried horse, but that's not required necessarily). You would then knock on your neighbours doors and when they answer to see this face, it is time for a welsh rap battle! Almost literally. You would sing rhyming insults back and forth and reasons why the mari lwyd should or shouldn't be allowed in. If the Mari Lwyd loses the rhyming battle, they will have to move on to a different house, but if they win? they get to drink all the alcohol and eat all the food.

So here are two Mari Lwyds (gave them unique styles because I felt like it), and they are having a tea party. I assume they are discussing who has the best alcohol and who will be easy to out-rhyme for the coming christmas.

There is some idea of where the Mari Lwyd comes from as a creature. It means Grey Mary, and some think it's linked to a different legend of a pregnant horse who was kicked out of her stable so there would be room for Mary and Joseph. She supposedly then roamed the land looking for a safe space to give birth to her child. However it could also be to do with Welsh Myth instead and just be related to the pale horses (the translation would be grey mare, rather than Grey Mary in that case). And animals with white coats or feathers, or even people with white hair have a connection to Annwn in Welsh myth (The Otherworld), so The Mari Lwyd might just be particularly trickstery divine horse ghost.

[jurijurijurious]

I'm coming to the end of a week's holiday in Wales. I've been spending time in and around Gwynedd. Had a great time. It's the first time I've visited Wales and heard Welsh spoken widely, really great to hear.

Also using my Cadw membership to its max: CASTLES!

L to R, top row then bottom: Caenarfon, Dolbadarn (don't have to pay for that one anyway but it's still Cadw); Harlech, Beaumaris. Love a castle. 😘

[shortqueershakespeare]

The opening to this Tuesday’s pod had me crying with laughter on public transport, John is such a mood

[gawrkin]

Cath Palug's Power Level (& Kay's)

(Source: Pa Gur yv y Porthaur)

Here is the excerpt portraying the hero Cai ap Cynyr, later known as Sir Kay, defeating the dreaded monster, Cath Palug (meaning "Palug's Cat" or "Clawing Cat").

And it's a pretty fearsome beast - over 180 in a single night died to it before Kay came to kill it himself. But reviewing it for a bit I noticed the translation says "Nine Score Chieftains" and I thought "wait does this mean a hundred and eighty war leaders and not simply champions? Does that mean Cath Palug also killed their retinues?".

In the history of Welsh Warfare, the Teulu (meaning "family"), was an important and primary element of Military power, being the personal household guard under the patronage of a Welsh lord. The size of these Teulu warbands, depending on the wealth of a chief, could range anywhere from 50 to 120 warriors. (Llywellyn ap Gryffyd had a teulu of 160 men)

So, I took a close look at the original Welsh text:

...and identified the words being translated are "kinlluc" and "kinran"

Afterwards, I went over to the online Geiriadur Prifysgol Cymru/A Dictionary of the Welsh Language (HERE) to clarify their meaning:

So yes, the poem is referring to 180 war leaders getting slaughtered overnight by the monster cat. But, the implication here is that, reasonably and common sense-wise, the chieftains brought along their warbands to hunt a wild animal.

This means, if we choose to interpret the poem saying Cath Palug killed both the chiefs AND their teulu (around say a hundred warriors each), then we are looking at anywhere up to 18,000 warriors and their leaders being massacred by Cath Palug in a single night.

Which gives us a sense of scale of how powerful Cath Palug and its slayer, Sir Kay, must have been.

(Probably still not as powerful as Arthur, given his battle with Twrch Trwyth...)

[urdrowning]

soft launch / l. williamson

part two of superstar! jsut somethjng small for the birthday girl. i am also scared of making a social media fic so if this is shit.. dhmu. also YES i made myself part of the band cause the idea of having mini urdrowning fan accounts is hilarious.

leahwilliamsonn

liked by keirawalsh and 52,087 others

leahwilliamsonn: Bit of a meet and greet 🤍

..

alexscott2 Fair enough, your music taste isn’t all that bad 🤣

↳ leahwilliamsonn You should have more faith in me ⠀ mate

assenalwfc THEY WENT TO A (your band name) CONCERT?? leah who’s ur bias.. 🤨🧐

lw6lliams0n who’s that behind alex

↳ lgb3attie IS THAT Y/N??

li0nesss65 Leahhh i love u so much

view more comments ..

yourinstagram

. . .

liked by leahwilliamsonn and 563,865 more

yourinstagram: brighton you are always incredible. sorry i fell over mid song <3

..

urdrowning oh but it was so funny

↳ yourinstagram and you wouldn’t even help me ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ up.. you’re a monster.

lw6lliams0n anyone else seeing that lw6 like?

↳ weredrowning I THOUGHT IWAS THE ONLY ONE ⠀ WHI NOTICED IT

↳ assenalwfc i meann she did go to the concert in ⠀ ⠀ london last week.

r0rysupremacy i saw y/n y/ln fall over live and tbh i can die happy

↳ yourinstagram it’s like you guys enjoy my ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ suffering??

↳ weredrowning girl quit responding to comments ⠀ ⠀ and go make new music 🙄

*urdrowning liked weredrowning’s comment*

leahwilliamsonn

liked by yourinstagram and 123,765 others

leahwilliamsonn: Special day. Hope to see you soon Gooners ❤️🤍

..

yourinstagram ❤️🤍

*leahwilliamsonn liked yourinstagram’s comment*

lgb3attie y/n like and comment?? somethings going on here .. 🧐

↳ lgb3attie NAHH Y/N WAS AT THE GAME AND ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ SAT WITH AMBER.. what on earth is going on in ⠀ ⠀ the house of commons.

assenalwfc they are dating. nobody can tell me differently. if you disagree, you’re wrong.

↳ weredrowning LEAH IF YOURE DATING Y/N, ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ DONT RESPOND TO THIS COMMENT.

↳ weredrowning now look at that.

view more comments ..

yourinstagram

liked by leahwilliamsonn and 486,084 others

yourinstagram: when north london is red 🔴⚪️

..

leahwilliamsonn Wooww. Done me dirty here 😂

↳ r0rysupremacy NO FLIRTING IN THE CKMMENT ⠀ SECTION ❌❌❌THIS IS A PUBLIC SPCE❗️🚨 ⠀ 🚨🚨

↳ yourinstagram 👀👀

↳ weredrowning y/n i’m getting real sick and tired of ⠀ you constantly teasing this relationship.

view more comments ..

leahwilliamsonn

liked by yourinstagram and 127,965 others

leahwilliamsonn: Amazing singing from tonight. The band was decent at it as well 🥴

..

lgb3eattie i’m literally begging you guys to confirm it. i can’t handle the teasing anymore.

keirawalsh Get me some spare tickets next time

↳ leahwilliamsonn No promises 😉

urdrowning only decent.. okay i’m a wales supporter now instead. CYMRU 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

↳ yourinstagram word. I LOVE RUGBY.

assenalwfc Leah.. what happened to being a footballer, not a singer.

view more comments ..

yourinstagram

. . .

liked by alessiarusso99 and 897,767 others

yourinstagram: life as of recent

…

leahwilliamsonn Love you x

↳ yourinstagram 💗💗

lgb3attie FUCKING FINALLY

amberrosegill Welcome to the wag life.

urdrowning do u think u could get me alessia’s number @/leahwilliamsonn. please ur dating my bandmate

↳ alessiarusso99 You don’t need Leah, send me a ⠀ ⠀ dm 😚

↳ urdrowning NOOO FUCKINGWAYYY

view more comments ..

[llyfrenfys]

Some really good notes from my post courtesy of @margridarnauds about that person accidentally using a white nationalist slogan to support the Welsh language:

I know someone who is doing a PhD on the Far Right and the co-option of cultural movements and these tags are bang on. Its the difference between a healthy nationalism and an unhealthy nationalism. A lot of this goes for Irish nationalism as well as it does for Welsh nationalism.

There's nothing wrong with (and arguably a lot right with) minority language preservation. It can be used for great good (strengthens community ties, preserves culture) but if co-option is not guarded against readily, it can also be used for great evil (see: using minority language struggles as an argument against immigration, for example).

The Far Right sees the cultural preservation of anything (white) and it's like a bat signal. These things are magnets for white supremacists and assorted fascists of all kinds. Which is why it is so goddamn important to be vigilant against people like that hijacking your movement.

I see a worrying amount of Welsh nationalists use (accidentally or not) the language of the far right to argue for Welsh language preservation. It can be as innocuous as advocating for a Welsh Academie Francaise to as obvious as insinuating that Wales must be kept "ethnically" Welsh in order to keep out foreign influence on the language. I see this go unchecked all the time in various Facebook groups for Welsh independence (most of which I've left since admins of these pages either don't know or don't care that people use their groups to share these sentiments).

Nationalism ≠ Fascism - but if you don't keep an eye on the company you're keeping, any well-meaning nationalist/independence or language preservation movement can be hijacked to promote hate. I only know a scant amount because I was only vaguely considering joining Yes Cymru a few years before they all went sideways (but I remember Owen Exie Hurcum talking about this on Twitter at the time) but the leadership of Yes Cymru began to squeeze out minorities from the group- nonwhite folks, gay people, trans people etc. Whole thing put me off from joining. I don't remember the full details but from the testimonies of others, the group was hijacked and steered into a reactionary way of being. Considering a large amount of Welsh nationalists also idolise groups like the FWA (Free Wales Army - a Welsh nationalist group formed in 1963 which tried to emulate the IRA in Ireland, with little success- mostly just playing paramilitary dress up) - whose symbol is this flag:

Even if the flag itself is based on Welsh folklore and is supposedly an entirely innocent, non fash design- it still is like a beacon to the Far Right who will take any amount of symbolic validation as a cue to join your movement and derail it for their own ends.

Which is why Celtic scholars, people with casual interest in Celtic languages and/or their respective cultures and civic nationalists alike need to be vigilant against those who would co-opt the field for their own twisted hate campaign.

So, one final thought,

Returning to my original post responding to that American chiming into Welsh politics from overseas. Please PLEASE be careful when wading into politics that isn't yours. Where the Far Right are involved, it doesn't take much to cause a dumpster fire - if you aren't 'on the ground' with these issues so to speak, you aren't in the firing line if your comments go sideways and enable/provoke the Far Right in this country.

If you have an interest in Celtic languages, countries and politics- you have a duty to be responsible with what you do and say. This isn't to say that you cannot engage with these topics- but that you should exercise caution lest you accidentally worsen an already delicate situation.

This has been your regularly scheduled Celtic anti-fascist tedtalk. Please reblog to make sure more people become aware of how delicate things can be and how to prevent fascists from getting a foothold in this field. Thank you.

[mywingsareonwheels]

The outcome I want from the UK election today:-

Labour victory (even though I hate Starmer), obviously

all the left-wing, LGBTQIA+-allied Labour MPs (especially the WOC) to retain or gain seats

the LibDems to push the Tories into third place (pleasepleaseplease that would be fucking game-changing on an international level srsly and also HILARIOUS)

Reform to fizzle out and die

the SNP to do well, and specifically the mediocre but acceptable SNP candidate I'll be voting for today to kick out the shitty and useless Tory we've had

Plaid Cymru to also do well pls

the Green Party of England and Wales to gain seats and generally do well

ditto the Scottish Greens (of whom I'm a proud member <3)

the steady encroachment of far right politics (with media encouragement) in this country to just fucking halt and go away (and yes, having the LibDems as the official opposition to Labour would help with this, and would massively off-set all the problems with Starmer as PM :) )

Ah shit, I'm demonstrating my England-and-Scotland-centric lack of Northern Irish knowledge here; if any Northern Irish people would like to reblog with similar and specific wishes I'd be extremely grateful. <3

Go forth, fellow UK peeps! Remember your ID! And remember that you don't have to vote for and donate to/join the same party, so if you are voting tactically for a party you aren't a fan of today, you can then join or donate to a party you want to see grow and gain power next time round! Think short *and* long-term. :)

[official-wales]

- @official-ottawa

THE GIF WAS INITIALLY BLURRY AND I HAD TO TAP IT TO ACCESS IT JESUS CHRIST YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME. luckily I don't have eyelids

[dailynickywire]

(5/10/24)

Unsure about the photographer

follow for more daily Nick pics

Also, I’m doing a Britpop/Cool Cymru band tournament! Follow @britpop-band-tourney ! Planning on starting in about a week. The Manics first match up is against Kula Shaker!

[onepagelovestories]

I made a discovery/theory that I thought I might share in case it's of use or interest to anyone else!

How big is Valisthea?

TL;DR - It's just Scotland, Cymru (Wales), Ireland, and England but flipped upside-down and photo bashed a bit.

These are just purely my observations, so I'm throwing them into the void!

So, for fan fiction purposes (and just general peace of mind), I really wanted to figure out exactly how big the twins were, considering how insanely quick everyone moves around. This is obviously true for video games in general but I felt it a lot more in FFXVI than other comparable games imo.

There's not a ton to go off of, just some throwaway dialogue lines here and there that give you the general sense that you can move from one location to the next in a day or two primarily by foot (chocobos are a whole other side tangent, as is the Enterprise or whatever the hell Dominants are capable of).

Some of those specific references include;

The trip from Rosalith to Pheonix Gate and back taking an expected 5 days total (with Clive, Tyler, and Wade arriving that night despite the detour through the marshes),

The boat ride from Port Isolde to Drake's Breath taking 3 days,

Someone from the hideaway referencing that they leave for Lostwing each day for work. (Couldn't find the exact example don't quote me on that one.)

Twinsides/Origin being "Hundreds of Leagues" away from The Hideaway

There's probably a few others, but most of the other examples I could find were open to interpretation, merely implying that travel took place in the same day but could be interpreted to have been spread out over longer were it not for 'video game logic and scale'.

That being said, I like things being a little more grounded for head canon purposes and wanted to know how much down time was reasonable in and between trips back and forth.

In general, I feel like the game should have been spread out over the full 5 years. But understanding game development limits, I get why that'd have been a nightmare! So the time skip makes sense practically, and I just choose to headcanon that events are a little more spread out. (Like them taking the full year in 873, from Clive and Jills rescue to destroying Drakes Head, rather than a couple of weeks like it seems in game.)

Shout out to this reddit post for doing an awesome estimate based on an average measure of the aforementioned "hundreds of leagues" quote. This was my starting point.

They concluded that Valisthea was likely closer in size to India or Australia, which I like a lot in terms of Valisthea being a full-scale continent. However, it does mess with the timeline a lot.

Also, I'm from a large country so my sense of what is a "reasonable" distance is pretty thrown off compared to a lot of other places. A 2-5 hour (200-400km) car ride to another city is nothing in my head until you realize that distance would take 1-4 weeks to walk or even ride (Horse metrics. Again chocobos are weird and probably a bit faster due to being all terrain and more robust than horses but are also birds so I don't know what endurance levels carrying heavy loads would be like).

Soooo, I began looking for European contemporaries since the game is very eurocentric (and all the criticisms that come with that).

Which led me to the realization that Valisthea is literally just the UK and Ireland, but flipped.

Now. Am I 100% certain this is what the devs did? Of course not. Is it so damn close that I'm 99.9% certain? Yes. Storm is Britain, and Cymru. The Northern Kingdom and the Iron Kingdom are Scotland but broken up. And Ash is Ireland and Northern Ireland.

Major cities or points of interest all have approximate real-world contemporaries and even follow geographical features on the map in that there are matching rivers, topography and even highways.

The biggest giveaway to me was Pheonix Gate just literally being London, as well as Norvant Valley matching exactly in shape with an upside down Bristol Channel (which would put Caer Norvent in Swansea). Even The Greatwood lines up relative to a major national park (forgive me UK peeps, it's hard to tell from a map alone if that's all one giant forest or several parks smooshed together).

So, if we're working off that assessment, with the quote from Tomes where he mentions that Valisthea is a small continent, then the time/distance ratio makes a lot more sense!

Of course, by our world standards – the UK alone does not a continent make.

But I'm honestly ok with that? I'd rather the land mass be small to match the timeline rather than warp the timeline to match the land mass.

So, here's a list of some of my estimated real-world contemporaries for all major landmarks on the Valisthean Map. Of course, they don't line up 1-1, and are not at all reflective of the locations themselves. It's all just for a relative sense of scale.

Rosaria;

Martha's Rest - Oxford

Eastpool - Reading

Pheonix Gate - London

Rosalith - Cambridge

Port Isolde - Peterborough (ignoring that it's not on the coast)

Deadlands

Cid's Hideaway - Stratford-Upon-Avon

Clive's Hideaway - Birmingham

Sanbreque;

Lostwing - Tauton

Caer Norvent - Swansea

Northreach - Exeter

Oriflamme - Kingsbridge

Kingsfall - Salisbury

Dhalmekian Republic;

Kostnice - Leicester

Drake's Fang - Sheffield

Dhalamil - Derby

Dravozd - Wolverhampton

Tabor - Shrewsbury

Boklad - Lampeter

Ran'Dallah- Tregaron

Waloed;

Shadow Coast - Belfast

Eistla - Kinnegad

Edge of Infinity - Westport

Ravenwit Walls - Wenagh

Stonhyrr - Cork

Other;

Twinsides - Fishguard

Kanvar - Chester

Drake's Breath - Ipswich

Dzemekys - Aberystwyth

Going off of those locations, I was able to get the rough time/distance of certain trips (using google maps metrics in pure walking hours not how long it took them because of *variables*)

Routes;

Rosalith to Pheonix Gate: 86km, 20hrs

Hideaway to Pheonix Gate: 172km, 39hrs (to Martha's Rest: 67km, 15hrs; +Eastpool: 41km, 9hrs; then to Pheonix Gate: 64km, 15hrs)

Hideaway to Oriflamme: 295km, 68hrs (Hideaway to Lostwing: 184km, 43hrs. What shortcut Cid?? +Northreach: 48km, 11hrs; +Oriflamme: 63km, 14hrs)

Lostwing to Caer Norvent: 199km, 46hrs (Benedika and Co were at that fort for days, not hours. Also, how hard did Cid knock Clive out if it took more than a week to get back to the Hideaway after the Garuda Fight?)

Shadow Coast to Stonhyrr: 755km, 171hrs. (Shadow Coast to Eistla: 169km, 38hrs; +Edge of Infinity and back: 181km, 41hrs x2; +Stonhyrr: 224km, 51hrs) meaning crew were gone in Waleod for WEEKS.)

So, all in all a bit longer than in seems in game but still well within range given that they probably shaved off arbitrary travel days for narrative flow.

That being said, I love the potential of more "down time" moments. And it really shows just how often/long everyone would be gone from the Hideaway at any given moment.

It puts into perspective Gav's side quest, "You keep sending me wherever you need to, I'll keep going. Safe in the knowledge that I'll have a home to come back to." And how they all remark that they never seen each other, or how much their trips away together were really meaningful.

(Also kinda excuses the fact it took Clive and Jill 5 freaking years to get together. They were too busy walking everywhere!)

Is it possible to just pop down to Martha's for a quick supply run? Yes. But unless you're on a chocobo, you're camping out at Three Reeds then staying the night at the Inn before heading back. It's more of a 4-7 day trip rather than an afternoon and back.

Anyhow, I hope this all makes sense!

Now, time to go write about Clive/Cid camping overnight in the Greatwood together on Clive's first real night of freedom. 😭😭😭

[mozzzz05]

Would just like to vent because it’s something I’ve seen more of recently.

But talking about the English colonisation of Wales is important, in the UK anyway. And I’m fed up of it being put down or eye rolled or ridiculed.

Does the colonisation of our country absolve us of guilt in the colonisation of basically the rest of the world? No. Obviously not, dipshit. But why can’t I bring the conversation up without being told that I’m just trying to make excuses? Is it important within this conversation? Yes. But it’s not the aspect of the conversation I’m focusing on.

I’m not trying to play the oppression card here, that would be ridiculous. When I talk about Wales being colonised I’m not saying I, a white Welsh person am oppressed because of that fact. Even so far as English xenophobia (towards Welsh people) (which does exist… somehow… they’re complete hypocrites) that’s not what I’m getting at.

What I am getting at is that within the UK, to discuss Welsh politics, Welsh independence, the Welsh language is quite often to be ridiculed. The amount of jokes I have had thrown in my face because we have Welsh on our road signs or because we’re taught Welsh in school “but no one speaks it!”

There’s a reason for that. The English beat it out of us for generations, in 1967 we had the Welsh Language Act which was literally the first step that allowed us to use Welsh in legal proceedings. And I feel guilt and shame that I can’t speak Welsh. I feel as though I’m not Welsh enough because of it. That’s not my fault though, is it?

Bring any of this up to an English person (generally) and they put you down for it, it’s ridiculous, I’m an idiot, Welsh is just a scramble of consonants anyway, Wales would go down the drain without the union, sheep shagger, shithole etc etc

The odd thing is see. I’ve been told so many times that Wales is a leech, we take take take from England and give next to nothing back, we’ve no right to complain, forget Aberfan, forget Capel Celyn, ignore the current controversy around HS2 - we leech off England and we should be damn grateful that they have allowed us to be in the mere presence of this Union.

And yet it’s always these people who are staunchly against Welsh independence. Turns out we can keep leeching. If we just shut up about the way that England - Westminster - continues to mistreat us as a country.

And boy if you dare to call it Cymru, well you might as well have shit down their throats. Never mind the fact that the name Wales is an English given name meaning “foreigner” or “stranger” lest we be at home in our own damn country.

Regardless of your stance on the union and Welsh independence, England continues to mistreat us as a country and then gaslight us into believing we should be grovelling on our hands and knees thanking them - the amount of people I’ve seen be genuinely, purely nasty about it too is astonishing.

But then there’s Americans too who clearly don’t know shit about what they’re talking about who butt in telling me and other Welsh people that our politics, culture, language is now irrelevant and that we need to shut up because we contributed to colonialism. Babe I know, it’s awful but again, I’m not excusing it. At all. But where do you think England starting colonising first.

Anyway, I know theirs worst things in the world but I needed to complain

[starmergeddon]

To someone who doesn't live in the UK and has only a very basic understanding of the different parties involved, pray could you provide a very brief rub-down of the election situation? Also a side question, where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up? I've been getting a lot of British politics posts on my dash and I was curious. You seem like a reliable fellow to ask :)

Btw you really don't have to answer this ask if you don't want to or if it's too much work. In that case, could you point me in the right direction for some online resources I can refer to? Thank ye very much, cheers!

for context, I recieved this ask the day after the election, and somehow managed to miss it for 3 weeks. oops.

if you don't know how British elections work, here are three youtube videos from Jay Foreman which I recommend: how elections work, how elections don't work, and the bit that isn't elected at all

very long post under the cut...

the british political parties

like the US, the UK is a two-party state. unlike the US, the UK has more than two relevant political parties. here they are, in order of seats won this year:

Labour Party (411 (63.2%) seats, with 33.7% of votes)

won this year's General Election.

led by kid starver, queer harmer Keir Starmer, namesake of this blog.

was the Big Left-Wing Party. has recently become the Big Party which Doesn't Stand for Anything, Really, Except for Winning Elections and Hurting Transgender People, due to Starmer's leadership.

oddly patriotic. wants to establish "Great British Railways" and "Great British Energy". Nobody really knows yet what they mean by this.

former leader Ed Miliband is the man in my pfp, pictured failing to eat a bacon sandwich. Some speculate that this photo was the reason he lost the election in 2015.

Conservative "Tory" Party (121 (18.6%) seats, with 23.7% of votes)

tonight's Big Loser.

led by fishy, dishy Rishi Sunak, but not for long, because they're electing a new leader on Halloween.

was the Big Right-Wing Party. is still the Big Right-Wing Party, but is now also an Embarrassment.

they were in power for 14 years until this election.

Directly responsible for this country's decline over the past... 14 years.

their colour is more of a dark blue, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Liberal Democrat Party (72 (11.1%) seats, with 12.2% of votes)

returned to its rightful place as the Third Party.

led by Sir Ed Davey, who spent the election campaign bungee jumping, playing Jenga, and paddleboarding.

is the Centrist Party that Nobody Really Cares About.

somehow is more left-wing than Labour.

Scottish National Party (SNP) (9 (1.4%) seats, with 2.5% of votes)

tonight's Medium-Sized Loser.

led by John Swinney, who was also their leader like 20 years ago.

unsurprisingly, is the Scottish Independence Party. is also more left-wing than Labour.

their colour is yellow, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Reform UK Ltd. (5 (0.8)% seats, with 14.3% of votes)

Fascist Cunts.

led by Nigel Farage.

not actually a political party, for some reason.

enough said. (for now)

Green Party (4 (0.6%) seats, with 6.7% of votes)

the one I voted for.

co-led by Carla Denyer and Adrian Ramsey.

the Actually Left-Wing Party. Their slogan is "real hope, real change" which sums it up.

Plaid Cymru (4 (0.6%) seats, with 0.7% of votes)

the SNP, but Welsh. (it's pronounced "Plad Cumry")

led by Rhun ap Iorweth. (pronounced "Rune app You're weth")

their colour is dark green, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

None of these parties run for election in Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK, but not part of Great Britain. NI is an entirely different situation which I don't know about.

so what actually Happened? Now that the scene is set, I'll go through the events that transpired, from the conservative landslide in 2019 to the conservative demise in 2024.

2019

the Conservatives don't have enough MPs who want to vote for their Brexit plan, so they call a snap general election. in the UK, our elections aren't at regular intervals. ONLY the Prime Minister decides when they happen, within a 5 year limit. this is important later...!

they win a massive landslide victory, with Boris Johnson as their PM. the SNP wins 48 out of 59 seats in Scotland.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn (affectionately known as Jezza) resigns, as does LibDem leader Jo Swinson.

2020

Keir Starmer takes over as Labour leader, and is immediately very boring. Labour gets more unpopular.

Jezza is kicked out of the Labour party, as are many of his supporters, on false allegations of antisemitism.

Boris finally "gets Brexit done" (this was his slogan.) The Tories get more popular. The Brexit Party changes its name to Reform UK, but they're still considered right-wing extremists

COVID happens. Everyone rallies round the flag. The Tories get more popular.

Boris gets COVID and nearly dies.

top conservative politicians hold parties in Downing Street, breaking their own lockdown rules, but shhhh! nobody knows about that yet! these keep happening until April 2021

The NHS begins to collapse a bit more than it already had, due to Conservative underfunding. The Tories get less popular.

Chancellor Rishi Sunak announces a program giving people discounts to eat out in restaurants. COVID cases spike. The Tories get less popular.

It's revealed that one of the top Tories, Dominic Cummings, broke lockdown rules by visiting family. The Tories get less popular.

End of year - Tories and Labour tied in the polls.

2021

the Queen's husband dies. She goes to his funeral, socially-distanced, alone. on the same day, more Downing Street parties are held.

not much else happens?? until December, when

people start to find out that the Tories were breaking their own rules by partying in Downing Street. Immediately, the Labour Party gains a 7% lead in the polls.

2022 - shit hits the fan

people are MAD about the lockdown parties. it's named Partygate and the police start to investigate.

Russia invades Ukraine. Boris tries to distract everyone by supporting Zelenskyy.

the police conclude their investigation. Boris Johnson becomes the first Prime Minister to have officially broken the law. as a firm punishment, he is fined.... £50. (so are Rishi Sunak, and lots of others.)

Everything gets expensive. Many people are now choosing between eating and heating their home.

Just after this happens, it's revealed that Johnson also gave promotions to a Tory who he knew had committed sexual assault. His cabinet revolts. He is forced to resign as Conservative Party leader. But because he is Prime Minister, he's the only one who can call an election, and he simply chooses not to! because he knows he'd lose!

The new Prime Minister is chosen not by the people, but by the Conservative Party members. people hate this.

Liz Truss beats Rishi Sunak in the final contest. She becomes Prime Minister.

The Queen dies.

Liz Truss crashes the economy. All hell breaks loose. The Labour Party now have a 25% lead in the polls.

The Daily Star starts a YouTube livestream - will Liz Truss leave office before this lettuce expires?

Liz Truss loses control of her MPs. She, too, is forced to resign, just 40 days after becoming PM! Because she doesn't have to call an election, she doesn't.

The lettuce won.

ONCE AGAIN it is up to the Conservative Party leadership to choose a Prime Minister... except nobody wants to be Prime Minister. Rishi Sunak becomes Prime Minister without being elected by ANYBODY

2023

not much extra happens, for a while. people are just sick and tired of the Tories

They decide it's a good idea to try and deport asylum seekers to Rwanda, because immigration is "too high".

Nicola Sturgeon gets bored of being a politician and resigns as SNP leader. Without a clear successor, the SNP destroys itself finding a new leader.

Nicola Sturgeon is also arrested on suspicion of having funnelled money out of the SNP to herself before she resigned! (she's cleared of suspicion, but the public gain a conception of the SNP being corrupt.)

Shit happens in Gaza. The Tories back Israel. Labour, having shifted massively to the right, also back Israel. People become unhappy with both of them, and still are today.

2024

A general election has to happen this year. The Tories are still 20% behind in the polls.

It's announced that the UK entered a small recession at the end of 2023.

Four asylum seekers are sent to Rwanda. They spent £700,000,000 on this.

Rishi constantly dodges questions about when the general election will be, simply saying it will come "in the second half" of the year. Most people think he means autumn.

He did not mean autumn. He calls an election for 4 July, but forgets to bring an umbrella in the process, and gets rained on.

Nigel Farage immediately takes control of Reform UK. (He's allowed to do that because it's technically a company, and as owner of said company he can do what he wants)

Reform UK surges in popularity, reaching 17% in the polls, just behind the Conservatives at 21%

Rishi leaves a D-day event halfway through to give an interview with a TV broadcaster, in which the multimillionaire claimed his childhood was hard because he didn't have Sky TV.

The Conservatives decide to cure their election woes by sending all 18-year-olds to National Service. (ie. military)

It's also revealed that many top Tories placed bets on the election being held on 4 July.

The Conservative Party loses voters to Labour on their left, and to Reform on their right.

election result analysis

where did it go wrong for the Tories? uh, everywhere.

where did it go right for Labour, though? depends who you ask...

voters decisively rejected the Conservatives, choosing either Reform, Labour, or LibDem instead.

however, they weren't enthusiastic about Labour instead. many Labour wins came about as a result of Reform splitting the right-wing vote in half.

polling suggests most people who voted Labour did so to remove the Tories from power.

Fewer people voted for Labour this year than in 2019, but they doubled their seats in Parliament. Our voting system is fucked.

The Green Party quadrupled its seat share. They have won in every seat they have targeted.

Five leftist independent MPs beat Labour in what were "safe" constituencies. One of them was Jeremy Corbyn!! What this shows is that people don't really like Labour, or that people really don't like Labour. They want something better.

The SNP is nearly wiped out in Scotland, despite getting 30% of the Scottish vote. Labour wins most seats in Scotland with 35% of the Scottish vote.

The "Party of Women" (which is literally just TERFs) got fewer votes than the Monster Raving Loony Party. Lmao.

19 people voted for Elmo in Keir Starmer's constituency.

More people voted for the Conservatives and Reform UK combined than they did for Labour. If Labour doesn't get its shit together, we could be in trouble.

what's happened since the election?

7 Labour MPs have already been kicked out of the party for voting to adopt measures to lift 1.6 million children out of poverty

pressure from Greens and independents led to Labour accepting the ICC's arrest warrant for Netanyahu and stopping some arms sales to Israel's genocide.

what happens next?

the Tories choose a new leader on Halloween. other than that? fuck knows lmao. what the 2019-2024 parliament tells us is that anything can happen. as mentioned before, we don't even know when the next election is.

where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up?

you tell me

i also realise just now, after typing all that out, that you asked for a "very brief rub-down" of what happened............. yeah my bad