#yes but that’s because i stole it from him it’s not actually a real name

[kittynugg]

stan and ford highELEMENTARY school thoughts (highschool edition)

-They were raised Jewish so I think it'd be funny if they went around telling kids Santa wasn't real not knowing the childhoods they ruined.

-Actually stole pies from windowsills. Their favorite target was their teacher Ms. Crampelter, she always made the best pies.

-So idk if you've read Lost Legends whomever is looking at this post but they do have a cat. This cat didn't have a name, they just called him whatever felt right in the moment. (Usually "Kitty", but Stan always tried to make Ford laugh by giving him the most absurd name he could think of at the moment. My favorite example is "Beef Stroganoff".)

-Stan literally ate dirt. He drew the line at sand, though. He's not a fucking animal.

-Ford took the top bunk of their bunk bed, not just because Stan's afraid of heights but because he was afraid of the dark and liked having the vantage point. This wasn't usually necessary since Stan stayed up until he fell asleep to ensure his safety.

-^ Adding onto this one, the thought of Stan and Ford snuggling together whenever they were scared at night makes my heart fucking melt. So I'm saying they do. Yes I said "do" they still do. (platonically, don't fucking tag this as ship.)

-Stan swore, nothing crazy but "What the Hell!?" or "Crap!" were fairly common phrases for him.

-Ford wasn't really considered a "freak" until he tried to hold hands with Cathy Crenshaw (school crush according to the journal but fuck you he's aroace I thought I had crushes in school and I'm aroace so silence) and freaked her out with his extra finger. He never really understood why everyone around him changed until he was faced with the cruelness of reality this poor baby.

-Stan's first instinct when he got a cut was to lick it. Ford always thought it was gross but if he burns his finger or gets a papercut he has to consciously fight the urge to stick it in his mouth.

-Ford loved vegetables, he'd always eat them first at dinner and go back for seconds before he even touched the actual food. It got to a point where they stopped letting them have any until he finished the main part of the meal.

-When it snowed, Stan and Ford would either immediately go out to play in it or watch it out the window in Stan's bunk together if they couldn't go outside.

[th3tism]

Alright, hear me out. The mercs with a SO that is a siren and their first meeting. About the SO trying to "entice" the mercs but their powers are too weak so it doesnt work :))

AGHHHH HIII SORRY I KEPT PROCRASTINATING TO POST IT BUT HERE IT IS!!!!!

Mercs: medic, scout, demo

Mercs with a siren who failed to entice them

Medic:

When he first saw you, he was fascinated

Not because of your song (obviously) but because of what you were

When you tried (and failed) to hypnotize him, he just tied you up in a net and brought you back to his operating room/lab

After awhile, he weirdly got attached to you

And you the same honestly

You both had conversations that lasted until midnight, he taught you how to play chess, he introduced you to his birds... It was almost like... Oh no

As soon as he realized he might've gained feelings, he feels like an idiot

He didn't even know if you felt the same (spoiler alert, you did)

Your powers may not have worked on him, but your charm certainly did

Scout:

Today was supposed to be relaxing god damnit!

He wasn't supposed to have any supernatural encounters of any kind!

But nooo, he just had to stumble upon a mermaid or whatever

But, once he actually saw you he didn't really mind

Your hair, your scales... You were actually really hot

And then you started singing? For him? (Technically yes, but you were hungry not horny)

Sure, your powers were weak, but somehow it still worked on him

As soon as he got close enough to get a good view of you, he (tried) turned up the charm

"Hey hot stuff. You wanna get outta here?"

"Excuse me?"

"I-I mean... You uh- um..."

"Ok then... I'm just gonna eat you now."

He embarrassed himself, and confused you

Once he managed to get out of there alive (barely)

He couldn't stop thinking about you

He needed to come back

Even if you were gonna eat him, he wanted to see you

So ofc, he came back.

This time with fish sticks he stole from the base freezer, and a rose

As soon as you saw him again, you rolled your eyes. But then you saw the fish sticks

Now you were interested

Once you swam up to him to steal them, he kneeled down and presented the rose with a sheepish grin

"... What's this?"

"Um... An offering?"

"For... What?"

"For you."

You were so confused by this guy

But... He was intriguing.

So, instead of threatening him this time, you took the rose (and the box of fish sticks), and swam away

At this point, it was routine for him to come over and give you things

Roses, jewelry that he DEFINITELY didn't steal from Spy, and even a can of BONK! if he felt like it

He was madly in love with you

And honestly... You were kinda starting to warm up to him

Demo:

When he first saw you, he thought he was drunk

He was, but that's besides the point

He's had his fair share of weird encounters with mythical creatures like you... But you were different

You were beautiful, stunning, handsome, dazzling, all of it

You didn't even have to start singing for him to approach you

You were confused by this to say the least

Most men ran off in terror... But him? He approached you

"Hey there lass/lad. Ya got a name?"

"Um... It's y/n..."

"Well... Ain't that a pretty lil name."

This man was intriguing

Charming even

He was different.

From then on, the two of you would talk, and hang out

Sometimes he'd even join you in the water if he wanted to

One night, the both of you were star gazing

Just casual activities between the two of you honestly

But the romantic tension between y'all was BIG

Like bigger than a sperm whale

He didn't wanna push anything

So he just slowly reached his hand out to gently grab yours

You looked over at him, and did the same

He smiled as your fingers intertwined

This was nice. This was real nice.

[tonberry-yoda]

Menace - Hobie Brown (Spiderpunk)

notes - here's the hobie fic for the poll that ended today!!! This is just a cute little drabble that was overall just really fun to write! I hope all of my Hobie simps enjoy it as much as I do! God, I literally love him though like Jesus he should not be allowed to be THIS FINE. Anyways, stay hydrated, loves <3 word count - 817

"Hobie, I don't think I'm exactly allowed in here," you whispered, following behind your boyfriend who was decked out in his spidersuit. It wasn't the fact that he was spiderman right now that bothered you, but the fact that there were hundreds of other spidermen and women surrounding the two of you.

"Aw, who cares?" he whispered back. "I don't follow their rules anyway."

"Yeah, but-"

"Hey Hobie!" you heard a cheery voice say. You quickly hid behind your boyfriend and heard him - in overenthusiastic British slang - greet a boy named 'Pavitr.'

The conversation seemed to play out just fine until you heard the boy say, "Huh? Hobie, who's that?"

You froze. You were dead for sure.

"Oh, this?" Hobie pulled you out from behind him and your face flushed red from embarrassment. "This is my partner."

"Oh my goodness!" Pavitr put his hands together and slipped off his spider-mask, smiling at you brightly. "Well aren't you two cute together? I'm Pavitr! Nice to meet you..."

"y/n," you muttered out, taking his hand.

"Nice to meet you, y/n! Wait, how did you get in here?" He grabbed his chin and thought about it, but in the middle of that thought process, Hobie patted him on the back and led you away from him before things god messy.

You played with the day pass on your wrist that Hobie stole for you. "We're gonna get caught by someone who cares." you said.

"So what? I don't care. He didn't care. No one cares. Plus, we won't be here long, love, I just wanted to show you the cafe."

He led you into a giant room with tables on the walls, ceiling, and floor, hundreds of spider-people just chatting and eating away at their food.

As you were in awe of the room, you didn't even notice that Hobie had left your side and went to the counter. When you did notice, you ran over to him.

"Why'd you leave me?"

"You found your way, right?" He winked at you and leaned on the ordering counter. "Could I get two spiderman 2099 patties and uhm... two orders of chips please?"

The person behind the counter nodded at him and Hobie led you to a table that was luckily more hidden from the rest of them.

"Did you want a drink?" he asked.

"Yes please."

"Be right back."

When Hobie left, you were left in astonishment at this place. It wasn't like anything you'd seen in real life, so this had to be a dream. You thought one spiderman was crazy, especially when the one in your city was your boyfriend, but to see thousands of different types from different dimensions all in one area was somehow even crazier.

"Mystery drink." Hobie laughed, sliding you over a cup.

You took a sip out of it and were pleasantly surprised.

"So," Hobie said, playing with the wrapper of his straw. "Whaddya think?"

"It's a lot," you admitted.

"You think so? You told me that I was a lot."

"Yeah, but this is a lot a lot." you laughed.

He simply nodded at you and took a sip of his drink as someone served your food to you. The design on the burger made you laugh, but you took a bite anyway.

"By the way, babe," he said, taking a bite of his fries. "If you see someone who looks like the design of that patty, run."

"Okay?"

"I'm serious," he said, which frightened you, because he never was. "If you're scared of one of these guys finding you out, you don't even wanna know how he would react."

"Can do." You saluted to Hobie, who just leaned over the table and pressed his lips to your cheek.

"Stawp, Hobie," you chuckled.

"Let's get home then, before he actually does show up. Sometimes he'll just appear out of no where. Scares the crap out of me, that bloke." He opened a portal next to your table and you scooped up your food and walked through, Hobie right behind you.

The two of you ended up in an empty parking lot not far from home and you sat right on one of the parking lines, taking a deep breath. There was so much the world didn't know about... how cool.

"You're really pretty tonight, love."

You turned to Hobie and laughed. "Aren't I always pretty?"

He just rolled his eyes at you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. "Yes, but especially tonight."

You faced Hobie and smiled, pressing your lips to his before leaning your head on his shoulder.

"Thanks for showing me around spidey HQ," you giggled.

"And not getting us caught."

"We were close."

"But we didn't get caught!"

"Fine, fine. You're right."

Hobie rubbed your shoulder and you leaned closer to him while you finished your food.

Your boyfriend was a menace, but he was your menace.

~~~~~

into the spiderverse masterlist | pinned post 2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[littlefankingdom]

I really dislike the idea of the Wayne ancestors being good people.

Mostly because, well, rich people fucking suck. And we are talking about old money in the USA, that means racism and colonialism. AND Bill Finger wanted Bruce to have a family name suggering colonialism, which means, when they created Bruce Wayne, they wanted his family's money to come from colonialism. And they chose Wayne, from Anthony Wayne, known as Mad Anthony by his contemporaries, a big colonizer who hated natives, was against peace with them, and stole their land. So, at the creation of Batman, the Wayne name was meant to imply that the Wayne got rich from stealing from the Natives and treating them like shit (Anthony Wayne burned Natives' fields and homes before winter to destroy their resistance, which probably killed many folks)

But also, Bruce is meant to be the exception. Bruce character is not "some rich people are nice", it's "rich people suck, he's unique" (of course, Oliver Queen is another exception). One of the theme of Batman is "the blood of the convenant is thicker than the water of the womb", he makes his own family. Bruce only cares about the Wayne legacy because of his admiration and love for his late parents. He takes care of the company because he wants to make them proud, and because he doesn't want it to fall into bad hands. He wants the money to go to good causes, and he doesn't trust other people to not just be capitalists. But, apart from looking for his dead parents' approval, Bruce doesn't care about the Wayne legacy much. For a nepo-baby, he doesn't plan to give his company to his kids, none of them have shown real interests (yes, even Tim. He doesn't want to be a CEO), it's more likely he plans to give it to an employee he trusts, like Lucius Fox. And he also only cares about the manor as his parents' house. When it is destroyed, Bruce first wants to rebuild it exactly the same because he is afraid of insulting his parents' memories, but once he is better, he actually build a new one to fit him and his family, with Alfred, Tim and Dick giving their ideas. Bruce's connection to the Wayne family is superficial. He uses the name and the money as a masquerade to hide his real personality and his identity as Batman. He is separated from what the Wayne were. So, making the Wayne ancestors good is kind of weird, as if Bruce's goodness (that he doesn’t believe in) is just hereditary or something, creating a link between him to people he doesn't care about or relate to.

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

Guys I don't know what to name this fic so gimme ideas and I'll change the title

Summary: At one point when everyone is at Jason's apartment for no reason, Jason, Cass, and Dick are faced with the challenge of getting their younger siblings to sleep (Bruce promised them money) while Bruce is away on a case.

Notes:

I don't ship any of the Batkids, they're all siblings to me.

In my mind, Dick is the oldest, Cassandra is about seven months older than Jason, Tim and Steph are about 4 months apart, Duke is about 2-4 years younger than them, and Damian is obviously the youngest.

Dick, Cass, and Jason form the older trio, Tim and Steph are the middle, Duke and Dami are the youngest, but it's basically oldest three vs youngest four.

Yes Bruce has/did have legal custody of all seven. Tim? he stole it. Was pretty easy for him too.

The next door neighbor part is because..... I didn't exactly know how to start it so i started it that way.

THE ENDING WAS INSPIRED BY THIS FIC, SO UHHH CREDIT FOR THAT PART GOES TO THEM!

----------------

The Batkids all basically lived at Wayne Manor, but Dick, Cass, and Jason, being the oldest three, and the legal adults, all had their own apartments that they did use, just they liked breaking back into WM because it was more home than their apartments.

But every now and then the whole gang just kind of.... went and rolled down to any of the apartments, chilled, fooled around, watched something, even stayed the night etc, etc. 

Case in point, once when Bruce was off on a larger case, but Tim, Steph, Duke, and Damian had school the next day and Cass had a broken arm, so he left Jason, Dick, and Cass in charge and for no reason they kind of just rolled over to Jason's. 

-

The next door neighbor, Owen, knocked on the door, wanting to know about the sudden influx of noise. He didn't mind, he was just curious. 

Jason opened the door, looking a bit tired, his hair messy and a bit sweaty, but there was a spark in his greenish-blue eyes that Owen hadn't seen before in their earlier interactions. 

"...What?" The young man asked. Owen hesitated, hearing voices from behind his strange neighbor.

"Just, uh, heard more noise than usual and got curious. Not annoyed, just curious."

Jason blinked, then seemed to realize.  "Oh, that's just my siblings. They're over." Owen blinked in surprise. "You- you have siblings?"

"Yeah, there's seven of us!" Yelled a girl's voice behind Jason.  "Adopted!" Added a young male voice. 

Jason rolled his eyes, though a hint of fondness was there in his eyes.

"Yeah. Me and my older bro and sis are the oldest three, so as thus-"

"We are left in charge while Dad is away." finished another young man, appearing behind Jason. He seemed to be a bit older than his brother. "I'm Dick. Oldest of seven insane siblings. Jay here is the third oldest."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Our sister Cass is between us. Anyway, sorry about the noise, we're trying to wrangle the little ones to bed since they have school tomorrow and Dad ain't here. We're here at my apartment instead of the main house for no reason other than pure randomness."

Owen blinked. Looking over The twos' shoulders he could see two girls, one seeming between Dick and Jason in age, the other somewhere in high school, plus three boys, one the same age as the younger girl, the other two younger than that but still apart. 

"It's fine," He decided. "Hope they sleep though." He added with a wry grin.

Jason actually laughed. "Yeah, Dad promised us money if we manage to get them to bed, so..."

Dick grinned. "Yup!" He turned around to the room. "So you four better get to bed real fast!"

Owen nodded and grinned as the door closed. 

It was nice to know his neighbor had a good family.

-

Jason turned around to his younger siblings. "You heard Dick, hit the hay!"

Steph rolled her eyes. "Do we have to?"  Cass tapped her sister on the shoulder and silently pointed to one of the other extra rooms.  'Go,' her eyes said. Cass was like that. Her siblings didn't even need her to sign to understand. Just her presence was enough.

"Steph....." Dick warned. "School is next morning, sis." Steph sighed and finally slipped off to bed. 

Next was Damian. 

"Demon Brat, you heard us. You have school tomorrow and besides, it's almost past your bedtime, little one." "I am too old for such restrictions." Damian answered stubbornly, crossing his arms.

Jason sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

"Damian...... You do know that I'm saying this on Bruce's orders, right?"

A stubborn glare.

Dick tried. "Hey Dami, if you don't go to bed then you'll be tired during school. Me and Jason can manage patrol and like Jay said, you usually go to bed on this time when you're not on patrol. You want me to call Alfred?" 

That worked. Damian sighed, and went into one of the extra rooms, grumbling. 

Alfred card always worked.

Jason slipped over to the table where Duke was hunched over his math book. "You done with your homework, bro?"

Duke sighed. "Nope. I literally can't get this last one."

Jason looked at the problem and sighed.

"Lemme guess- Ms. Rue is the teacher for your math class."

Duke blinked at him in surprise. 

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

Jason smirked. "Oh, I had her. She's infamous for being the worst teacher ever." 

Duke groaned. "Tell me about It!"

Jason grabbed the pencil and started telling him how to do it properly. 

Meanwhile Dick had wrangled Tim off the couch and was gently guiding him to another room with an arm slung across his shoulders. It had taken Tim trying to bolt and getting scruffed for that to happen. 

Dick managed to get the younger male to bed and smirked at Tim's glare. 

"Hey, it's not so bad, little brother. You have school tomorrow anyhow."

Tim groaned but reluctantly settled down and pulled the blanket over himself. Dick chuckled fondly and ran a hand through the younger one's hair. 

"Tell you what- you go to sleep right now and tomorrow after school I'll take you and the others to get some hot chocolate, deal?" 

Tim brightened at the prospect of that. "Okay!" 

Dick smiled and knelt to nuzzle him a bit before leaving. 

Meanwhile Jason had gotten Duke to bed, and made sure Damian hadn't tried escaping, while Cass cleaned up the living room. 

Jason sighed big and flopped down on the couch.  "Damn, why'd Dad put us in charge?"

Dick grinned and ruffled his hair, earning a halfhearted swat. "Probably 'cause we're the oldest." Cass rolled her eyes. 

After a bit Jason stood up and grabbed his leather jacket and his Red Hood helmet, while Dick went to a room to find his Nightwing suit. 

"You'll be fine watching the little ones?" Dick asked Cass, whose arm was broken. She nodded and pointed at the window. 

Red Hood and Nightwing clambered out, shot out their grapple lines, and went off on patrol. 

-

Commissioner Gordon raised an eyebrow at the two near the end of patrol when they showed up on his roof with some of Penguin's henchmen tied up. 

"Just you two tonight?" He asked. Nightwing grinned.

"Batman has a larger case on some traffickers, it's a school night for Red Robin, Robin, Spoiler, and Signal, and Black Bat's arm was broken the other night so she's watching the little ones to make sure they don't sneak out."

"Yup, so it's just the two oldest sons tonight, Uncle Jim." Red Hood smirked. 

Gordon sighed, shaking his head as the two grappled off.  "Oh, they are the Bat's sons alright," He muttered.

 -

Bruce, finished up with his case, slipped into the Batcave and took off his cowl and all, slipping into a light grey T-shirt and pants with a black jacket (it was winter).

He knew from a text Dick had sent him that his brood was at Jason's apartment, so he got into his normal car and drove off after briefing Alfred. 

He found the apartment easily, unlocked the door (So, he had one of the keys to his son's apartment, sue him), and slipped inside.

It was dark and quiet. He checked each room, finding one or two of his kids fast asleep in each.

Dick was curled around Damian, Cass was asleep in the bed next to Steph's (Why did Jason's apartment have more than one two-bed room?), Duke had somehow gotten into the same room as Tim.

Finally he found Jason, conked out on his bed, looking relaxed and happy for once. 

"Oh," Bruce sighed. It was so long that he'd seen his son like this, ever since everything fell apart but somehow came back together again. He and Jason were working it out, gettin over the awkwardness and slowly healing their bond. 

“Dad?” Jason mumbled, fist rubbed harshly against his sleep-squinted eyes. 

Bruce ignored the ache that filled his chest at the word, knowing, relieved that his son was... okay. Not mad at him anymore, Here.

Safe. 

“Just me, Jaylad,” He sighed, and pulled the blanket over his third oldest. 

“The case?” Jason mumbled. His voice was deep, rough with sleep, but it was still Bruce’s kid, sleepy but safe, checking in with Bruce after every patrol. 

“Everything was fine,” Bruce whispered soothingly, reaching out to tuck the cowlick of white hair away from Jason’s eyes. He blinked at Bruce, eyes more blue than green. He didn’t push him away.

“You can go back to sleep,” Bruce told him softly. “It’s late, little one.”

And Jason, with the same tiredness as the rest of them, didn’t argue. His eyelids slowly closed, his body finally relaxing.

“Stay?” Jason murmured.

Bruce almost said 'maybe', almost turned to let the younger ones sleep in peace, worried he'd disturb his kids, but Jason’s hand reached out, found the knee of Bruce’s pants and clutched the fabric in a grip so reflexive and old and instinctual. 

And there was a question when he asked Bruce to stay, instead of knowledge that Bruce would do anything he needed, anything he wanted.

So Bruce gave in to what he wanted, sitting down and wrapping one arm around his son, hugging the younger male's head to his chest.

“I’ll stay,” Bruce heard himself say, exhaustion already entangling him. “Love you, kiddo.” Jason mumbled an agreement. 

Bruce ran a hand through Jason's hair and closed his eyes. 

[fuxuannie]

❥ . until the end, forevermore

✦. synopsis — stargazing with leon brings a sense of comfort and room for laughter, however oddly enough, it leads to a conversation that you or him needed to hear.

✦. love mail — 💌 ignore the 100th layout change pls i'm very indecisive ;_; eeuuueeuu... i really like soft leon can u tell uwjehejr I REALLY HOPE PEOPLE LIKE THIS i love it sm personally

✦. tags — fluff, comfort-ish, ooc.. possibly, soft leon, re4 remake leon, idk what i was doing with this, g-neutral reader, one tiny suggestive joke doesnt rlly matter

Laying uncomfortably in a patch of grass and staring at the sky wasn't exactly LEON's idea of a fun time, but when he's actually there in the moment - he doesn't realize how calming it really is. It's been a rough couple of days.. weeks, years - life. Something as simple as stargazing, it made him feel at ease.

Of course, you holding his hand next to him and hearing to your heart-warming laughter was an added bonus.

"Look, I don't know how much longer I can pretend I can see the shapes you point out and not think you're crazy." Leon teased, turning his head to you as your eyes were still fixated on the stars. You don't reply, but he doesn't complain, gives him more time to admire you.

Sometimes he feel like he doesn't do it enough, spending his time to look at you, then on the other hand it feels like it's all he ever does. You're the first thing he sees when he wakes up and the last person on his mind as he drifts to sleep, he's so inlove with you but never in a way that it hurts, but that it lets him feel at home.

You make him feel like he's home.

"You know you're supposed to be gazing at the stars, right?"

He's so lost in thought that he doesn't realize you've turned to face him, a look of warmth that he always sees in your eyes. "Well I've found myself something prettier."

"Corny."

"For you, always."

You chuckle a little at his one-liner, squeezing his hand as you do. It's always the little things that you do that make his heart race.

You then spoke;

"I had a weird thought." "Oh? In public?" "Shut up."

"This life.. it's really screwed us over."

"Yes, it has."

You move a little closer to lean your head on his shoulder, looking back up at the stars that seemingly shone brighter just for this moment.

"I think in our next we should just become like.. I dunno, cat owners."

Leon smiles.

"Nah.. You sound stupid."

...

"I'd rather have a dog."

You gasp in fake offense, jolting up immediately. "How dare you-" But he easily pulls you back in, landing on his chest as his arms wrap around you and essentially trap you in the most comfortable way ever. You're about to protest, but he adds;

"I promise that in our next life, if your little.. ideas about reincarnation are real, then I'll love you as I did in this life and the lives after that. Because for however long there is a (name) and Leon, there will be (name) and Leon. That's how it works, I don't make the rules.

You blinked a few times in surprise, but eventually nuzzle against his chest. "You stole that one from a book you read?"

"I hate reading."

"Idiot."

"It means it came from my heart you asshole!"

[the-glorious-evolution-fanart]

Was watching schnee's video essay on why arcane's characters are lonely from around 2 years ago and at the 1:17 timemark we see a scene from s1 where Heimerdinger praises Stanwick Pididly to Jayce. I was like why does he sound familiar? Then went yooooo it's that bitch who stole credit for making Blitzcrank from League Viktor!!!!!!

Damn, Viktor really is the opposite of a creator's pet.

Got a complete revamp instead of just getting an Arcane skin like the other champions that were in Arcane, was written in a very ableist way in both seasons, doesn't have his disability or terminal illness named even though it's a big part of his character, lost his agency for most of season 2, got confirmed as ace after the show ended because one of the showrunners hated jayvik, didn't form any meaningful relationships in the show outside of Jayce, isn't properly credited for making the Hexgates in the show, had actually cool concept art for his transformations into the Machine Herald just to have it scrapped and now the guy who wronged Viktor the most in his lore and is the actual reason why he started to self-harm as well as the main reason he completely embraced "Glorious Evolution" is treated like an outstanding dude 🙃

Plus it's not just Viktor. They deleted Jinx's schizophrenia in season 2 and screwed over any complexity Vi had in order to get her back together with Cait by act 3.

Yeah, Stanwick Pididly was an NPC in old league lore who not only stole the credit for creating Blitzcrank from his doctoral students, he also stole Viktor's earlier research and designs for prosthetics and used those in the process of revival and reconstruction of Urgot in the collaboration with Noxus's Bleak Academy, of course presenting those as his own. He also went to Piltover to advertise "bringing Urf back from the dead" while Piltovians were mourning Urf's passing. Unsurprisingly, he was kicked out. He later became a councilor on Zaun's Board of Directors. An absolutely deplorable person.

And what did Arcane do? It turned him into a hero, a founder of Piltover way back in history and Heimerdinger's friend.

One could argue that a viewer would have to think about worldbuilding to come to conclusion that whoever was involved with Piltover was directly involved in creating and perpetuating suffering in Zaun, thus Pididly is portrayed as a villain... and that theory could hold water, if literally any Piltovian was actually fully held accountable by the narrative for what they did to Zaun. Yet none of them, other than Marcus (whose crime was also hating Caitlyn!) was. Heimerdinger is a silly little goofball who might have been too serious earlier and "stuck in his old ways", but he felt sad when he went to Zaun (once? For the first time since Piltover started oppressing Zaun?) and narrative instantly treats him as fully redeemed. Jayce's moral dilemma disappears in S2. Caitlyn is not held accountable.

Arcane does a very poor job of actually following through with its portrayal of brutality Piltover enacts on Zaun which was shown through enforcers in Season 1. It is shown, yes, but the narrative doesn't always frame it as bad. Oftentimes it behaves like it's the case of "it is what it is". Which means there's no strong basis to say that Stanwick Pididly was portrayed as anything other than a hero.

~

For the rest of your points, I have nothing to add because they're all true, other than the ace argument - bear with me - if you view it through the lens of "it's a tool to deny jayvik", it may seem to you as something bad. But ace people are real, one of my best friends is ace and as an orientation it's not good or bad, it just is. It really shouldn't be used as a negative in ship wars.

[defectivevillain]

fake dates [and real ones, too]

pairing: jake peralta x reader

reader’s pronouns: he/him

summary: Jake and you are assigned to intercept Michael Augustine's criminal activities. You're not sure which part of the night will be more difficult: the mission itself, or pretending to be engaged to Jake Peralta.

“Table for two, please.”

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing available,” the hostess says mechanically.  You share a worried glance with Jake. Well, that’s not good. Your mission can’t fail before it’s even begun. The two of you were assigned to follow behind Michael Augustine, a notorious identity thief. He stole a laptop that has access to over 100,000 Social Security numbers and he’s apparently planning to sell the laptop to an interested party from China. Jake and you were told to watch Augustine and intercept the handoff of the laptop. It’s not a hard mission, but the restaurant’s inability to find you a table may prove to be a big problem.

“Oh no,” you remark sadly, trying to think of a cover story. “Tonight’s a really important night for us. Johnny and I just got engaged and… this is where our first date was.” You blink at Peralta, who seems to recover from the sudden shock of it all. To your surprise, the detective puts a hand on your arm and smiles at the hostess. Right, for the mission, you remember. You have to be touching to sell it.

“Yeah, it would mean so much to… Casper… and me if we got a reservation,” Jake continues. It takes every ounce of strength you have not to react. Casper, as in Casper the friendly ghost? That’s the fake name Jake chose? You groan internally. “But I didn’t know if he was going to say yes.”

Now it’s your turn to be surprised. The hostess is staring at you expectantly. You know that you need to lay it on thick if you want her to believe that you’re truly an engaged couple. In a burst of spontaneity, you lean forward and kiss Jake on the cheek. His eyes go wide and he looks genuinely startled. You turn to the hostess and manifest a confidence that you don’t quite possess in the moment. “He was so nervous,” you whisper to the hostess, as if you’re telling her an inside joke. Your heart is racing in your chest but the smile on your face doesn’t falter.

Fortunately, the hostess seems to eat the act right up. “Well, I’ll see what I can do for two young lovers,” she smiles, looking down at the screen.

“Yeah, we’re lovers,” Jake remarks, clearly feeling a bit flustered and overwhelmed. You subtly elbow him in the side and he stops talking. A small part of you wonders why Peralta seems so off-kilter. Is the idea of dating you really so bad to him? You push that thought away before your mind can needlessly spiral. The hostess steps away for a moment to speak with someone. When she comes back, there’s a waitress smiling at you.

“Right this way, you two.” You both exchange surprised looks before you’re led to your table. The waitress lays down two menus and promises to be back with drinks in a few minutes.

“Well, we’re here,” you say, sitting down in the chair Jake had scrambled to pull out for you. Your voice only cracks minutely, a feat you’re rather proud of. The menus are laid out in front of you and empty glasses recline on the luxurious white tablecloth.

“Yeah,” Jake nods, evidently feeling as perplexed and lost as you do. He takes a deep breath. Jake seems to be rather practiced at assignments like these, because he looks entirely unaffected. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was enjoying his night as any other person was. “We’ll be fine. We just have to pretend to be more sophisticated than we actually are. Should be easy, right?” The grin on his face is definitely a little tight at that. You can certainly sympathize. “I think you’re missing the part about us being lovers,” you decide to point out. That will be the most difficult part of this assignment. This restaurant isn’t super fancy, so you’ll get by with basic table manners. Your so-called engagement with Johnny- Jake- will be harder to maintain. “Johnny.” You’re kind of bad at remembering to call people by their names. This will be tough.

“Right,” Jake grimaces, a strange expression flickering on his face for a fraction of a second. He smoothly adjusts his posture. “Here, hold my hand. It’s only very sweaty.” The detective reaches out and leaves his open palm on the table.

“I’m nervous, too; it’s okay,” you reassure him, reaching out to clasp his hand. Jake murmurs something under his breath about different reasons, but you can’t hear exactly what he says. Instead, you settle for squeezing his hand in a reassuring gesture. The detective actually seems to relax at that, as he sends you a grateful smile. “Do you see him?” Jake sends a glance to his right and, sure enough, the enamored couple is sitting at a booth a couple hundred feet away.

Surprisingly enough, the dinner proves to be rather boring. Jake and you order, but you’re not anticipating actually getting to eat your food. Sure enough, Augustine and his partner are already done eating by the time the waitress walks away with your orders. You hear Augustine get up and put on his coat, as his partner walks back to the car. He heads off into the direction of the kitchen. Evidently, the chef will be making the handoff. You grab Jake’s hand and drag him after you, until you’re both awkwardly hovering in the hallway. The two of you look into the kitchen, only to see him talking to the chef. You don’t see any actual handoff being made. Perhaps he just knows the cook? Jake seems to be just as confused as you are, as he keeps trying to adjust his view of the kitchen.

Unfortunately, Jake’s movements seem to catch the criminal’s eye and Augustine turns his head suddenly,  his eyes catching on Jake and you. You swear under your breath, turning to Jake. He bites his lip, quickly looking back at you. The criminal is still hovering on the edges of your vision, even when you focus on the detective. What the hell are you going to do? He’s spotted you- the mission is practically over.

While you’re entirely helpless, Jake seems to come up with an idea. You nod to let him know that you trust him and his expression morphs into a grimace for a fraction of a second. Before you can ask what the grimace is for, Jake’s kissing you. You stiffen for a moment, until you remember that it’s just for cover. You put your hands on his waist and pretend not to notice Augustine hovering near the two of you. You almost forget that you’re on a mission, that you’re hiding in plain sight from one of the most prolific criminals in the city. Unfortunately, a pointed cough breaks you out of your thoughts and you remember the man’s presence. Jake and you break apart quickly.

“Oh, we’re so sorry,” Jake apologizes smoothly, a graceful smile on his face. You conjure up an embarrassed expression, which isn’t exactly hard to do given the situation. Your grip slips from Jake’s waist, but he grabs your hand and interlaces your fingers. The rest of the conversation begins to escape your notice, as Jake prattles on about engagement, dating, and other things. Eventually, the criminal seems satisfied, because he walks away. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

Jake and you wait a few minutes before following Augustine’s lead and walking outside. It appears he’s taking the package to a park. Thankfully, you don’t have any close calls and the criminal is soon gone. Jake and you position yourselves so that the package is within sight. You then turn to Jake. “I can’t believe you named me fucking Casper,” you blurt out, the moment the two of you are safely away from prying eyes. “As in… Casper the Friendly Ghost. Really?”

“Hey, Casper is a cinematic masterpiece,” Jake remarks, sending you a disbelieving glare. He looks behind him at the package- it’s still there. The detective turns back to look at you again. “Besides, it was the first thing I thought of.”

“I’m so glad that I resemble a ghost in your mind’s eye,” you snipe. Jake rolls his eyes, evidently not wanting to even dignify your remark with a comment. For a few moments, there is nothing but silence. You look around the tree you’re hiding behind. There’s no one near the package.

“Ugh, I’m starving,” Jake groans, drawing your attention back to him. “Never actually ate anything in the restaurant.” You nod in agreement. Neither of you ended up even touching your plates. It really was a dine and dash, but without the dining. You shove your hands in your pockets, feeling a little restless.

“Know what I’m getting on my way home?” You grin, excited to brag about your future meal.

“Yeah,” Jake nods quickly, before proceeding to rattle off your favorite meal. It takes you a few moments to process that he gets everything correct, down to the tiny details of your favorite drink and what restaurant you’ll go to. You blink at him a few times.

“That’s exactly what I’m going to get,” you agree, staring at him in disbelief. Jake nods and sends a glance over his shoulder, evidently checking if the handoff is taking place. You take the opportunity to dissect the expression on his face. He didn’t seem to make that comment out of jest. You suppose you underestimated how well he knows you.

“I will be having pizza,” Jake announces, an excited grin on his face.  “Two Meat Supremes from Tony’s, served display temperature.” You can’t help but grimace.

“That’s gross.” You shudder at the thought of eating lukewarm pizza that had been sitting on a display all day. You love pizza, of course, but display pizza is an entirely different beast. You look over to the package, only to find that there’s someone standing near it. Fuck. “Jake-”

“It’s not cold,” Jake tries to justify, rolling his eyes. “It’s just… significantly less warm than it should be.” As much as you’d love to spend far too much time debating with Jake over the morality of display pizza, you have other things to worry about- namely, the mission.

“No, Jake, he’s looking at us,” you hiss, brutally aware of the guy staring at you. You have to do something and you have to do it quickly. Fuck! There’s nothing you can do. Except…  “Well, I guess we’re doing this.” You take a deep breath.

“What-”

This time, you’re the one to make the first move. You grab his collar and surge forward, kissing him before you can think to hesitate. For a selfish moment, you let the assignment, the criminals, and everything simply fade from your mind. It’s just Jake and you. Surprisingly, Jake doesn’t stiffen or freeze up. Rather, he reacts immediately- his hands snake up your waist and he pulls you flush against him. Unfortunately, you don’t have the time to savor the moment, and you have to break apart so the criminal doesn’t get away.

“NYPD, you’re under arrest!” You yell, gun pointed at the man. Jake seems to recover a few seconds later, and he pops out from behind the tree to stand next to you. “Hands up in the air.” You’re expecting Jake to make a characteristically badly timed remark about the two of you being only partners, but amazingly enough, he doesn’t say anything. You decide to focus on alerting Rosa and Boyle, who are quick to finish apprehending the criminal and send him on his way. Before long, the four of you are piled back in the van.

“How’d it go?” Charles is quick to break the somewhat awkward silence that had descended upon the vehicle. He is nearly bouncing in his seat, evidently asking for some sort of explanation. You don’t know how to rationalize what just happened, admittedly.

“So normal,” you blurt out, immediately wincing at how strained your voice sounds. Jake is sitting up front next to Rosa, so you can’t see his expression. Unfortunately, you’re too discombobulated to maintain an unaffected appearance. Charles’s gaze is digging into the side of your face and you’re just about to make up another stupid excuse when Jake interjects.

“We kissed.” You inhale sharply, not expecting him to outright say it. Although, now you’re glad that you can’t see Jake’s face, because it would surely be twisted in discomfort.

“What?” Charles screeches, his energy somehow increasing even more. He looks at you giddily. You’re not quite sure what to say, so you instead look to the side and remain silent. Your heart is hammering in your chest. “Tell me everything!” Charles grabs your shoulders and starts shaking you.

“We had to do it, um, to maintain cover,” you manage to choke out, only sounding rather strangled. Your remark doesn’t seem to convince Charles, because he only exhibits more energy and excitement. You’re certain that he’d hit his head on the ceiling if you weren’t sitting in a big ass van. As is, he’s making you dizzy just looking at him.

“To maintain cover,” Jake reiterates. This remark seems to go in one of Charles’s ears and right out the other. The rest of the car ride is split between Charles asking you for explicit details and Rosa telling him off for shouting, but smirking in the rearview mirror all the same.

Finally, after what seems like an infinitely painful amount of time, you’re back at the precinct. The four of you briefly stop by your desks before walking back out to the parking lot. Boyle carts Rosa off somewhere- evidently to a birthday surprise of sorts- which leaves Jake and you. The two of you are silent as you walk down the path towards the parking lot.

“What do you say to display-temperature pizza?” Jake asks, shoving his hands in his pockets. He seems uncharacteristically restless, for some reason. You try to think about what could be making him so nervous, but nothing comes to mind.

“I say hell no,” you shake your head, unable to shake the shiver that goes down your spine. Jake’s face quickly falls and you realize that you’re likely giving him the wrong impression. You do want to go with him. You just… don’t want to eat hours-old pizza. “How about takeout?” Jake raises his eyebrows at you, evidently not expecting you to offer an alternative.

“Yeah, sure,” Jake agrees. There’s a dazed expression on his face as he looks at you. He’s squinting at you as if trying to discern if you’re joking. Evidently, Jake must realize that you’re entirely serious, because he nods.  “Cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool… Cool.” He pushes his hands further in his pockets and then frowns.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“Um… I don’t have my keys, actually,” Jake remarks, after searching his jacket and pant pockets several times. You take a deep breath and motion for him to follow you to your car. After getting in your car, Jake is visibly stiff. “This is cool. Cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool… cool.” You roll your eyes and pull out of the parking lot with an exasperated smile on your face.

[bizarrelittlemew]

okay. i just watched the movie Snakeskin (2001). i bought a physical dvd in the year of our lord 2024 because Taika has 6.5 minutes of screentime in it. and now i'm sitting here trying to process wtf i just watched asjdhfdjsk so here are the highlights (thank you Meow @blakbonnet for going through this experience with me)

first of all, enjoy these screenshots from the trailer (i'm still not sure if they're mandatory disclaimers?):

...but say yes to snake imagery, because there will be a lot of it

we are definitely in 2001. this is extremely apparent throughout the whole movie. but especially from this girl's hair

Taika's character (Nelson) and his girlfriend (Daisy, pictured above) drive around in a repurposed ice cream truck and sell drugs btw. it's called Mr. Trippy.

main character Alice (Melanie Lynskey) is a huge fan of ✨America✨. her best friend is in love with her but she only wants Bad Boys. also said friend's name is Johnny but it's actually Craig

ALSO Craig-slash-Johnny is played by Dean O'Gorman (Fili)??!?!?!?

their hobby is to drive around picking up hitchhikers but only those who look not boring

enter The American. this guy is the most American you have ever seen. americans wish they could be as American as this guy. no one else has ever Americaned harder.

as you can see, i'm not lying. he even says "howdy ma'am" so we're convinced he is a real American

three skinheads are after The American because he stole their drugs (i think). he also stole drugs from Nelson and Daisy, who now owe money and/or drugs to their boss, who also has beef with The American for reasons i'm still not totally sure of

The American not only steals drugs and money, he also has a real gun(!!!) and fucks pretty much everyone?

"darlin'. u gotta earn the raaaiht. ter wear snakeskins 😎"

oh my god the sunglasses emoji just reminded me of the fucking sunglasses oh no i'm not sure i can do this akjsdhjsk this will make sense later i promise

do not learn gun safety from this movie

at one point, there is a whole lotta sheep. we are, after all, in Aotearoa New Zealand. and ok this had the cutest moment of Taika yelling "SHEEPY" out of a car

there's a scene where uhm. uhhh no not gonna describe this i think but. yeah fair warning this movie has some period-typical homophobia let's just say 💀 this is the live reaction:

MOVING ON

if you enjoy the 2000s aesthetic of "look how edgy we are doing drugs" *colorful-haired people on couches in dark club* *echo-y laugh* *hallucinations* *it's mushrooms look it's mushrooms we're doing psychedelics* then this is the movie for you my friend

oh and Alice also did acid at some point while being very "i've totally done drugs before" about it (((doubt)))

GIRL GET UP FROM THAT DIRTY BATHROOM FLOOR

[New Zealand accent] "wow. six and acid." yes she is living all her american dreams as you can see

by nighttime, all three cars (main characters, mr. trippy, and the nazimobile) and the motorcycle (mr. drug boss) have made it pretty far up the mountain, it seems. cute moment between mr. drug boss and nelson. look how :D he is!

but you know a movie with Taika in it needs to have a father figure talk down to him so he gets very 🥺 right after this

lots of shit goes down (i won't spoil too much if by any chance you still want to watch this) and it turns out that the older skinhead guy is the best actor in the movie??

and NOW things get weird

Craig and The American have so much beef by now that they decide to solve it by russian roulette

Alice's reaction to this is something like "ugh, you guys are crazy, i can't watch this 🙄"

like she just walks away?? GIRL THEY'RE AIMING A REAL GUN AT EACH OTHER

she keeps COMPLETELY UNDERREACTING TO WHAT IS HAPPENING like (spoilers from now on) CRAIG IS SHOT AND KILLED and she doesn't even run over and she doesn't even say anything to The American?? WHO SHOT HIM???? he's just standing there??

and then. AND THEN.

ok this is where i fully lost it for several minutes and missed half the following scene. i was fucking HOWLING like actually crying with laughter, i couldn't see or breathe and my partner got worried ksjdhfdjsk ok so here's what happens

they're in the car. craig is obviously very dead. alice is kinda in denial i guess. The American tells her to shut his eyes and she's like why? BECAUSE HE DEAD GIRL!! but she doesn't, she doesn't shut his eyes, no, this is what she does instead

I COULD BARELY MAKE THIS GIF BECAUSE I KEPT LAUGHING TO THE POINT OF TEARS

NOT THE SUNGLASSES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THE UNTAPPED MEME POTENTIAL HERE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

ANYWAY shortly after this we hear one of the funniest lines in the movie (and it's not even about the shooting and killing of Craig):

"fuck, Seth! this isn't fucking America, you can't just go around shooting everybody!"

oh yeah The American does have a name and it's Seth

i'll just post a few chat screenshots for the next part because i can't really describe it, i promise we're almost at the end

after some incredible visual effects™️, we end with Return of the Sunglasses (and me scaring my cats away because i was sobbing again)

i haven't even really talked about Taika's scenes much (the reason i watched this in the first place) because the ending took me OUT and honestly he is maybe the most normal person in this whole movie. one review (from the trailer) wrote this:

and yeah that may honestly be the best way to describe it. 10/10 movie watching experience, highly recommend. thank you for coming to my snek talk

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Paper rings 🩷

Jason Todd x singer!reader

A/N: I have to be honest, half of this is cat content ngl. This is based off the song by T. Swift :) Catdad!Jason is real because I say so. I geeked out and somehow love for greek mythology always find its way into my Jason fics idk

Enjoy!

~Fi 🪻

Prompt: reader is a singer who writes a song for Jason. How does he react?

Requested by: 🌙 anon

Warnings: fluff all around! Cute kitty moments, the concert parts may be all wrong idk what I'm doing lmao

Word count: 1.8k

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

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You let out a sigh as you got into your car. It had been a long day in the studio, recording new songs for your latest album. Your throat hurt, but you were happy with the progress you had made today. Starting the car, you made your way home to the apartment you shared with your boyfriend, Jason.

It was his birthday soon, and you'd planned a little surprise, not only for him but for your fans as well. You had written him a song, one that would be on your newest record. You smiled only thinking about it, you couldn't wait to pull off this surprise.

The show you were performing tomorrow in Gotham was no ordinary one. You'd called it the "Jazz on Special", which was just a a play on Jason. Your lovely, yet sometimes a little daft lover had not gotten the hint. Good.

He always attended your concerts, watching from backstage, giving his support. The moment you stepped off stage, he was immediately one you, showering you in compliments and kisses, telling you how proud he was of you.

So you figured this was the least you could do to show your appreciation for him. You wanted the whole world to know how much he actually meant to you, scream it into the crowds. So that's excatly what you were going to do.

Unlocking your apartment door, you stepped in, dropping your keys in the little dish right by the entrance. You could hear footsteps the minute the door closed. Jason came towards you, with a big smile and open arms. "How was your session today, Baby?" He asked, wrapping you in his strong and comforting arms. You snaked your arms around his waist and hid your face against his chest. "Was really good. My throat is sore though, I need some tea." You mumbled, letting a content sigh to be in his arms. He placed a kiss to the top of your head.

"I'll make you some, got get comfy, okay?" He said softly, stroking your hair. "Thanks, Jay," you replied, slipping from his embrace with smile. You went to put on a change of clothes. You did wear comfortable clothes to your recording sessions, but you had to dress it up at least little bit with some jewelry. It probably wouldn't be the best look to show up to work in your kitty PJs.

After having changed into said kitty PJs, you plopped down on the couch next to Jason and your cat, Nyx. She was a black stray with a white streak on her forehead. You'd picked her up from a local animal shelter, you just couldn't resist her cute little white paws that made her look like she wore socks and the fact that she matched Jason. It was supposed to be his Christmas gift one year, but you just couldn't keep her to yourself.

Although you got her for Jason, he insisted you name her, his reasoning being that she got her looks from dad so her name should be from mom. And yes, you do treat her like your child. You named her Nyx, after the greek goddess. She was the first, daughter of Chaos, night incarnate. You thought that it fit, with Jason being the protector of Gothams street at night. And in a way, you were grateful to her, to Mother Night, for holding Jason safely in her dark yet loving embrace.

"Nyxieeee!! There you are my sweet girl! I missed you SO much, yes I did," you beamed in a high pitched baby voice, scratching her face. You stole her off Jason's lap, making him huff. Taking her into your arms, you placed overly dramatic kisses on her tiny head. She didn't seem to mind, though, rubbing her cheeks against your hand and purring. Jason's face softened at the sight.

You looked so precious like this, the cat curled up in your arms as you cooed at her. You'd be a little embarrassed about your habit of talking to animals in a baby voice if Jason too, wasn't guilty of it as well. He put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him. "You know, technically that's my cat," he said with a smirk on his face. You shot him a glare.

"Technically, you wouldn't have her without me and you asked me to be her mom. She's my child too, Jason!" You responded playfully. He threw his head back, laughing. "I guess she is, huh. Thank you for being the mother of my furrbaby." He sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "It's my absolute pleasure, baby."

You were getting sleepy, your eyes unvoluntarily fluttering shut ever so often. Nyx was curled up on your lap, peacefully snoozing away while Jason was intently watching whatever was playing on the TV. You took a sip of the tea Jason had so lovingly prepared for you. Setting the mug back down on the coffee table, your gaze shortly fell on Nyx and- wait

You had to do a double take. She had one of her small paws reached out towards Jason who was gently holding it and without paying much mind, softly stroking his thumb over it. Your heart was about to explode. Your lips were slightly parted and your eyes were wide, looking at Jason completely bewildered. He noticed your stare, turning his head towards you with furrowed brows.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He asked, the question slightly muffled by the hand that was supporting his head. "That's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen," you mumbled, the shock pretty evident in your voice as you gestured to his huge hand that was ever so softly caressing Nyx's comparably tiny paw. His eyes softened.

"It is, isn't it? The first time she did it I was practically shaking from excitement," he laughed, the sound rumbling through his chest. Your brows shot together. "What do you mean 'the first time'?! Has she done this before? AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?!" You yelled in disbelief. How dare he keep something so precious from you.

"Sorry, Baby."

"Unbelievable."

Today was the day. The day you would pour your heart out in front of Gotham. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. The blood in your veins was at boiling point and you were seconds away from a panic attack. Fiddling with the two colorful paper rings you had made for today, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. This was fine. You were fine. You've literally done this hundreds of times. But would Jason like it? God, you hoped he would.

Before you could overthink more, you heard your cue through your earpiece and it was showtime.

The 'normal' part of the concert went well, you performed some of your best songs, the crowd was amazing and it was overall an incredible night. You'd talked to your fans a little on stage between songs, receiving some nice little gifts here and there. Flowers, plushies as well as a bra was thrown on stage. Well that was a first. Not that you complained, you were rather flattered, actually.

It was nice to know that you had the ladies on your side. Jason, who was watching from backstage, almost keeled over with laughter when he saw you pick up the under garment, completely bewildered. He would never let you live this down.

"Alright, Gotham," you said breathlessly, "before our lovely night comes to an unfortunate end, I have prepared a little something. Not only for you, but also for my special someone, who might or might not be here today," cheering could be heard from the audience as you fixed your earpiece and chuckled breathlessly into the microphone.

Singing and jumping around stage sure was a work out.

"This is a song I've not shared publicly, as it is from my new album, but I thought I'd make a little exception for all of you and at the same time be the best girlfriend and make the coolest birthday present ever!" You laughed. The moment you mentioned that it was a new song the crowd absolutely lost their shit. You don't think any of your concerts have ever been this loud. Your eardrums nearly burst at the sheer volume of teenage girls screaming their souls out.

"Here's Paper rings. This is for you, Jason." You said with a smile on your face. The music started playing and it's like all your worries faded away. You'd been waiting for this moment for weeks, to finally share this song and your love for Jason. As you sang the lyrics, a compilation of cute and silly pictures of you and Jason ran over the huge screen behind you. Some were of you and Jason in a face mask, others were of Jason cuddling with Nyx. You occasionally glanced over to Jason who was doing his best to hold back his tears with the biggest smile on his face. Your heart swelled at the sight.

With the last bit of music fading out, you finished the song and bowed. The picture remaining on the screen was of you and Jason kissing with a sunset in the background. A heart was drawn around it. The minute the last words left your lips, Jason was storming on stage, showering you in kisses. He held you tightly against him, peppering kisses all over your face. His actions made you giggle into the microphone and the crowd went wild. The security guards were really struggling by this point.

You grabbed Jason's hand and slipped one of the two paper rings on his finger, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. The dam broke. There were happy tears rolling down his cheeks as he continued kissing you. Managing to pull away, you addressed your fans one last time. "Thank you, and Good Night, Gotham!"

You squealed when Jason unexpectedly picked you up bridal style and whisked you off stage, your head thrown back in laughter. It was safe to say you were on the front page of the Gotham Gazette the next day.

Jason was talking his heart out on the way home, talking about how much he loved it and how much he loved you. You were listening patiently, holding his hand while a big smile was plastered on your cheeks.

Now, you found yourself in the familiar spot on the couch, Jason's arms wrapped around you with little Nyx making biscuits on your thigh. "I have one question for you, though," you said, turning your head to Jason. "What is it?" He replied softly.

"How the fuck did you not get the play on your own name?"

"Oh, shut up." He pouted, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You let out a soft laugh.

"I love you too, Baby."

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[bonesmarinated]

ur art? Delicious, love it could scroll through this blog for hours, I love that your tarnished is literally just picked up, by the scruff of his neck, from a random Scandinavian heavy metal band and dropped into the lands between -chefs kiss- and Kristian Odegaard, I swear I can look at him and hear the most intense norwenglish ever, could bump into them both in Bergen centre or at Tons of Rock, love it 💕

>> Kristian Odegaard, I swear I can look at him and hear the most intense norwenglish ever, could bump into them both in Bergen centre or at Tons of Rock << you're right 😏 Kristian was born and raised in Bergen. Now please imagine him complaining about the coffee in Sweden because they normally just burned beans to oblivion. The coffee is destroyed. He started out as a Starfield character (and still do for most of the time) but I always like to see my character being real in some sense so there's that. He used to be a roughneck on a drilling rig offshore in the Norwegian sector for Maersk Drilling Norway. Started out as 18 years old apprentice, made pretty good money but eventually quit at 25 to follow his passion to work in live sound. Ofc, you could catch him at Tons of Rock lol but he would be working.

^^ here he is, it would be a crime if i said he's a sound guy and never draw this fit

>> your tarnished is literally just picked up, by the scruff of his neck, from a random Scandinavian heavy metal band << yes, it is 🤫😏 the visage I stole, he's real as flesh...😔☝️ I actually have this characters many years before Elden Ring when I got into Bloodborne stuff, he was The Hunter and then going to Dark Soul III he's the Ashen One. I cast him again as The Tarnished and it's the first time I actually draw him properly. Maybe i should draw his Bloodborne version someday 🤔 I wasn't intend to give him a personal name, only keeping player character title but eventually his (nick)names are either Ørjan or Mørk.

[passionproject1]

We were 12. The coolest boy in my school just couldn’t stop talking about the newest coolest game he was playing online. He sat in the back of the lime coloured room, surrounded by the remaining class B boys, the beta boys, his gang, his little followers, who were carefully listening to his monologue. Every few minutes he would interrupt his speech to violently whip his head to the right in order to arrange his fringe into a perfect emo/justin bieber formation. “Minecraft,” was the name of the game, I wrote it in the back of my notebook and carried it home. That night I sat on my favorite deep emerald chair researching the game further, preparing to beg my dad to buy it. I had already downloaded the free version but I wanted to make an avatar and you could only access that feature if you paid. This purchase was essential to flex on my boy classmates. Finally dad said yes and let me use his card. I immediately canceled guitar hero night with the girls, ready to explore the pixelated expanse of Minecraft.

My new name was Yumomo, a random japanese sounding name I thought of. My outfit was green and pink with a frog hat, a skin I stole from some minecraft website because I thought it was cute. I jumped into my solo world but quickly found it too isolating, so I checked the list of best polish Minecraft servers. The one I chose was RPG themed and as I later found out was made up entirely of male players. In 2011, Minecraft hadn’t broken into the gamer girl realm yet, hardly into the youtube gamer realm either. Back then it was only played by indie game nerds and basement dwellers, not 12 year old polish girls. So for the moment I was the queen of my server and officially (PAUSE) “not like other girls.” I remember that first day when they all saw my skin, girly and pink, and wrote “are you actually a girl” into the chat. To prove it I had to join a group call on team speak 3, some proto discord gamer tool. Before I logged on, I practiced what I would say using a voice recorder on my dads phone. I tested different variations of the name introduction, different “Hello’s,” “i am’s”, and “my name is,” to come up with the cute maxxed ideal version of the internet girl they were about to meet. I nervously turned on the app, shouted at my younger sister to shut up and just as I was about to say the magic girl code into the hormonal ears of boy teens I heard one of boys say “hey, maybe next time mute your speaker before you shout at your sister.” My heart dropped, I shut the laptop and sat in silence. (pause for impact) My eyes started to water. I wasn't a cool girl in real life and now I couldn't even be a cool girl online. It was doomed from the start, over before it even started. The brutal reality of the boy world came crashing down on me all because I didn't know how to use speak3. Little did I know this lack of speak3 proficiency made me meet my first boyfriend.

His real name was Antoni, I don’t remember his minecraft name. After my pulse had cooled down and I turned my laptop back on, a private chat request from him appeared on the side of the teamspeak3 app. He typed “siemasz” which is a word for hi in polish that literally no one uses in Poland. He also wrote something along the lines of “Don’t worry, sorry for them laughing, I was stressed before I talked online for the first time too” and that comforted me. He wasn’t like one of the bad, annoying smelly boys, the “girls are too dumb to understand the computer” and “girls are too emotional we shouldn’t play with them” preacher preteens, he wasn’t the intimidatingly-different-than-the -girls type of boy that I was in contact with at school. He acted like you want them (boys) to act, he had the qualities of an anime protagonist, he saved me from further teamspeak ridicule and he spared me from feeling like an idiot on my own. He invited me to play on his and his brothers private server first just to ease me gently into the whole situation. I accepted and spent the entire night playing just with him. And when he called, on Skype instead of teamspeak3, I answered with my camera turned off but my mic on, and we chatted. We ended up chatting like that, with both of our cameras off, playing on minecraft servers with countless other people - and sometimes just on our own - for almost a year. He slipped into my routine and broke my boy interaction shyness. Every day I was looking forward to our evenings of playing minecraft, and every time I was too busy to talk to him i would feel sad.

The Day before Christmas I was at the airport about to fly to England when my Yellow samsung corby received a message from him. It was a confession of his love to me, long and sincere, “I don’t care that I have never seen your face, I like speaking to you, I like spending my time with you and I would like to meet you.” He also mentioned that we should exchange pictures. I had butterflies in my stomach reading the sentences. For hours on the plane I kept rereading the text and trying to imagine what he looks like. I tried to vibe-match looks in my mind to his smooth, low but still youthful and boyish voice. I pictured him towering over me, with a swooping side fringe and a cool Cropp hoodie. I thought about us kissing for the first time, my girlfriends being jealous, my dog excited at the sight of him during one of his monthly visits. As soon as I got to my mums house I went on to try to vibe-match my looks to my sweet voice I was using to seduce him for the past year. Did I really suit my own vibe? There was a lot to perfect in my looks and I didn’t feel confident that I could fully embody the girl he must have been imagining. I pulled up the video of my idol venus angelic and with the limited makeup my mum owned I tried to recreate her vibe. Big anime eyes, intense blush, gradient lips. I put on my blue denim hair bow and took a selfie on photo booth. I covered one side of my face with my hand. I felt myself. The following evening whilst we were chatting with our cameras off and our mics on we sent each other the pictures. Surprisingly he looked similar to what i had imagined for him: golden retriver as a boy, slightly wavy gold hair with a little side fringe, awkward cute smile,acne, skinny and tall-presenting. According to him I looked how he imagined too, cute and girly. The next stop of video talking hadn’t been suggested by either of us. We were just happy to continue chatting with a vague image of ourselves in our heads, because it didn’t really matter what we looked like. Our relationship was online so it was functioning according to online gaming friends rules. As long as the arrangement remained online, we didn’t need anything more.

At least I didn’t for now.

One spring day Antoni asked me if I was planning to go to Pyrcon, a massive anime convention that is organised in his city, only 2 hours away from where i lived. I said I would probably be there. The truth was I knew I would definitely be there, in fact me and my friend had been planning our outfits for months. For some reason giving a definite answer, knowing the question that would follow felt too overwhelming. He asked, all excited, if I wanted to meet up in real life and I said yes with equal excitement. In reality, something told me that I didn’t want to meet him. Not because I was worried that he wasn’t real, that he was a catfish, but because I was worried that I’d be too real for him, with my chubby face, little stumpy legs, feet dressed in two different shoes. I was scared of holding his real hand and kissing his mouth, the inevitable teenage intimacy that seems so sweet in theory but ends up awkward in practice. I was happy for us to continue our love in the virtual world we created.

I couldn’t sleep the night prior to the convention. This day was about to change the trajectory of my life and the future felt more dreadful than exciting, though my friends kept trying to ease my stresses. I didn’t want to ruin the excitement for him, so the whole journey to the con I played along, at times experiencing waves of real excitement, followed by the gut wrenching anticipation of failure and disappointment. I was dressed in my frog outfit and did my makeup as well as i could. My emergency nicholas cage mas, a sign that I was a fan of the webcomic Homestuck, was poking out of my NANA tote bag. For some reason, just having the mask in my bag was an anti-anxiety shield. At previous conventions, I would wear it when the pressure of being surrounded by so many people felt like too much and I was too young to numb the angst with drugs and alcohol.

We arrived at the convention. The nasty stress feeling had been growing increasingly throughout the day, from the moment I got out of bed to the second I set foot in the con. It was by my side wherever I went, causing my eyes to scan every corner in the search for him and his brother. I had to be prepared at all times to pull out the mask, in case he came too close and recognised me. I was undercover in his kingdom. A surprise meeting was not likely, considering the 5000 people in attendance, but regardless I couldn’t allow it to be an option. Our real meeting was meant to take place at some anime panel, later in the day. Minutes before the meeting, I left my friends, who were convinced that the guy was really some old pedophile, but I let them follow me from afar just in case for their piece of mind. I put on my protective mask, and headed to the room. Inside I looked around. He wasn’t there. I double checked the location, the time, different corners of the room, but the corner where he was supposed to stand was occupied only by gross nerd guys. The smelly long hair ones. My panic was mixed with some sense of relief. This is it, he’s one of them, and if he is one of them I can just pretend that I left because I wasn’t feeling well and just go back to us, playing online. Maybe at some point I’d be mature enough to accept his physical self, and take the next step, come to terms with his ugly materiality, maybe by the time we met, by the time I was ready to squash my anxiety he would have had a glow up. Maybe not crossing that boundary now was a win-win.

Just before the start, in the colorful crowd of cosplayers, e-girls, cat ears, katanas, big titty anime girl pillows stuffing itself into the room, I saw him. His fleshy youthful face was looking better than the picture, put together into a concerned focused look aimed to find me. I watched him from a distance, looking for me, dialing my number and impatiently waiting to hear back, as I was holding onto my vibrating phone inside my pocket. I saw him sitting down, disappointed and confused, saw him checking his phone every few minutes, then his older brother coming in, comforting him, possibly telling him either that girls suck or that maybe something happened to me, depending on his prior experience with women. All that time I stood in the back, wanting to text him “don’t worry *hugs*” and “i love you *kisses*” but my body wouldn’t move, I was paralysed. My mind kept telling me “what’s the worst that could happen” before filling my head with all of the worst scenarios. I imagined:

-The smell of awkwardness in the air

-inability to make a conversation

-him not finding me attractive in real life and abandoning me, the virtual me, the me he loved or

-him liking me, wanting to make real moves, have real meetings instead of the safe, controlled, virtual, the ones i was comfortable with

It all felt like too much. And despite being a few meters away, and seeing his despair, I looked at him one last time and went back to my friends. It took me a while to come up with an excuse and text him back, but there was no excuse for what I did. The truth was sad and hard to understand. If none of my friends understood why I did this then why would he? So I lied, said that I wasn’t feeling well and that I had to leave, which felt like the most believable excuse but perhaps not believable enough for him not to question it himself. Our relationship was broken, and we stopped calling, then we stopped texting. Minecraft got boring. When I first installed Skype, I accidentally allowed it to automatically open every time I turned on my computer. When me and antoni were in love, I never had a reason to change the setting, but now I would force quit it every time I turned my old macbook on. I abandoned the block lands and moved my virtual self onto the more entertaining World of Warcraft.

Sometimes I wish I was able to say sorry.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 9

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

I feel so weird sitting here in the morning reading this, this has been my night-time routine for 8 chapters!

In all honesty the fic I was reading this morning just wasn't it/my brain kept coming back to my boy Shen Qingqiu, so here I am 8am on a Sunday heading into the Borderlands.

My teas are for evening- so this morning, hazelnut coffee!

ah, okay, intro to this chapter. I have been wondering how the afterlife works in this series. I hope we find out more than "the border of human and demons realms" p167

JK lol this is a physical place and not an afterlife p168

oh gosh, this is quite a mess! (Re: the political upheaval within the Cang Qiong Mountain sect as well as vs others) I kind of want to know what the side quest Shang Qinghua went on in the demon realm. p169

Oh baby Luo Binghe keeping Shen Qingqiu's corpse :( p169

okay but he also took Mo Qingfang with him so maybe they were trying to figure out a way to bring Shen Qngqiu back? p170

I would have loved to be privy to the Tea that Lu Liu was about to spill about his theories of Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu ahaha but instead we got a knock on the door interrupting p171

who is this newcomer??? Wait who's the second one?? The anticipation!! pp172-173

wait. "what year is it?" New character or??? p174

I fucking cant. Yes it is Shen Qinqgiu. but also the dramatic flair is too much RE: "faking your death is overdone, I must therefore actually die :)" p174

omg SQQ had a backup body made from the mushrooms! This is so wild. This was definitely Shang Qinghua's side quest for sure. p175

omg I can't stop laughing. What is with MXTX killing the leads and then twinkifying their new bodies. p176

it's been FIVE YEARS?!?!?!?!? p177. Oh damn, bless that he has an abundance of spiritual energy now!

He really told them his name was peerless cucumber- oh my. p178. Can we talk about how they then immediately stated he was a bottom with the Peerless "chrysanthemum, crown, flower.."p178

The hypocrite lol "It is wrong for you to profit from their misfortune" after he literally stole all the clothes on his back and a fancy fan for fun (and cultivating, but let's be real mostly fun). p180

why does everything just come back to SQQ just fantasizing about Luo Binghe's dick? We went from SQQ ranting about demon naming conventions to what he would call Luo Binghe's actual dick LOL p181

HEAVENLY PILLAR-JUN - pls end me XD stooop. p182

Meanwhile we have these demons sweating because they think this man is incredibly powerful and very unstable as SQQ laughs maniacally then slaps himself. p182 I really don't think they are wrong TBH.

oh no! I need to now what Liu Mingyan has been doing in the badlands! p184

but also SQQ assuming that Liu Mingyan is Luo BInghe's wife.

OOOOOO Sha Hualing is back! p185 I like love her as a villain, but hate her as a character. She's in a weird place for me, but I appreciate her LOL

Who the heck is this youth? p186

Jesus christ. the fact that in this moment SQQ hates Sha Hualing's nails- not because there is a kid about to get slice and diced, but because in the novel she uses them to tear up Luo BInghe's back when they fuck. I cannot with this man *face palm* p187

okay we have a name for this young master- Yang Yixuan, and this little baby is Liu Qingge's disciple! p188

learning about how Luo Binghe's cultivation works with his need to basically dual cultivate to level himself out has me officially believing that the system basically allowed SQQ to build the ideal body for Luo Binghe. he definitely has the excess spiritual power LOL p190

This interaction with Sha Hualing and Liu Mingyan tho...I really love Liu Mingyan! Wait- oh no! Not her clawing her face!!! p194

okay she did not get her face clawed

Well, my theory about SQQ building the perfect bod has more merit with the nuns now out of the picture. p197

Holy shit. he actually is strong enough to break through immortal binding cables!! p199

NOW he notices the script change LOL p201 "Shen Qingqiu had certainly never planned to fill in the gap they left behind himself. He had that old feeling of having accidentally picked up the wrong script- it made him vaguely suspicious that the scam of a System was still around"

Dang! he broke the net too! p201

and we have a small appearance by Luo Binghe!!!

Yay! I am so excited i've missed the system, glad it's back. even though it seems kind of broken lol p203

Well "peerless xiangsheng" and "senior peerless" are certainly better than peerless cucumber LOL p205

oh my. Well I mean, he's not entirely wrong is he? Re: Lu Liu's epic tale of the tragic one-sided love between Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu. (and this is the Tea I wanted at the beginning of the chapter, I am so happy about it). pp206-207

oh my sweet summer child "Those details aren't the slightest bit reliable, okay? 'The Truth' your sister! Even if I had no girl to fondle for twenty years, no matter how wretched I became, I wouldn't get so desperate that I'd get gay with a guy! Let alone get gay with the male lead!" p212

This Chapter LOL

This was definitely a needed pick up after we had that wretched death. But now I am so curious! I need to know how this turns into their weird but epic love story. When do these two collide??? What happens next???? (do not answer any of these questions LOL no spoilers, but I am very excited to read on).

[jessysapphireblue]

Goddess on board Luffy x Oc

Nicknames included are Lu and Je, which you can replace with your name, since nothing else is mentioned. A born female magician and being damn powerful

Sighning, you leaned back on your cloud pillow you created to rest your muscels and mind from the past few days being coped up in your room, trying to figure out how to make Devil Fruit users swim, due to the constant whining of your boyfriend, also captain.

Closing your eyes, you breathed out, enjoying the quiet time, until you felt something in the water, making you groan. "Nami! 15 Marine ships comming in our direction with speed. 1 Mile away", you shouted to your orange-haired navigator, as hell broke loose.

Usopp and Chopper screaming for their lives, while Luffy was ready to kick some ass with Zoro and Sanji, which only made you groan. "Rough days, I presume", Robin stood next to you, looking at you. "I finally took a break and now this...why?", you whined and stood up, dismissing your cloud, in which Robin chuckled. "Nami! They´re comming from 2 o´clock, and cannonball is fired at 3...2...1", you said and indeed a cannonball came fireing, making you held your hand out as it stopped midair, before it fell into the water. "How the-wha-", Franky asked confused, looking at you. Standing on the railing, you heard the marine shouting about attacks, making you groan.

You began to concentrate your magic into your finger, as a tiny ball formed, hovering over your index finger. Pointing to the ships, the ball released.

"This tiny ball can´t do much-", began Zoro before a gigantic explosion interrupted him, making all turn to it to see the marine ships gone, soldiers in the water. The whole crew went silent.

And with a simple snip of your fingers, water rose by the sunny, releasing food and treasure onto the deck of the Sunny. "Good, peace and quiet now", you said and jumped onto the grass before going back onto your cloud.

"That was-" "AMAZING!!!!", Luffy sceamed and beamed, shining and joined you. "How did you do that!?" "Concentrate my magic to one point before releasing it. Quick and painless", you simply said as Nami, Chopper and Usopp came. "WE ARE UNWORTHY!", they said before bending down to you, making you blink. "...you just pretend to be weak?!", Zoro came to you. "I never pretend anything. My magic is 90% deadly, so-" "Oh, my beloved Goddess! I am just unworthy in your presence, pls forgive me", Sanji swooned over you before going on a knee in front of you.

"Sanji, pls. Neither of you is unworthy or weak. Magic is just different" "I didn´t knew you could be this strong!", Chopper looked at you with sparkles. "...that was actually nothing compared what I can do"

"Yohohoho...my eyes would defently pop out just imagining it, ah, I nave no eyes anymore. YOHOHOHOHO!!!", Brook laughed. "How strong are you?", asked Jinbei.

All looked at you. "When I say a One woman Army it´s enough. Believe me. I don´t want to go deeper", you admitted. "SUGE!", Lu was now in your face, beaming like a child because how cool he found you. "S you can kill", pressed Zoro and you nooded. "Very easily...with Lu, I could demonstrate it" "YES! YES!", your boyfriend was so eager for you to show off. Holding your hand out, you released a short breath.

"I can´t move", said Luffy before you moved your hand down, making Nami and Usopp, Chopper included, scream. "WHAT THE!" "Our captain is now a pancake", chuckled Robin and you lowered your hand, making your boyfriend sping up. "Now imagine this with real bones", you said.

"YOU COULD EASILY-", Zoro shouted, a vein pulsing on his head. "Yeah. But no" "Bro, she just stole your spot", patted Franky Zoro´s shoulder, who just growled. "Show.Me.More!!!", demanded your boyfriend. "Tomorrow? Please. I just finished up the thing you wanted" "The...thing?", Luffy tilted his head. "Yeah. I can now make Devil Fruit users swim"

"OH HELL NO! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?! I`M OUT!", Zoro stormed away, clearly pissed. "Should we actually call you Goddess now?", admitted Robin. "Hm? Je a God?", asked Luffy Robin. "Yes. I mean, kind, gentle, sweet, always there to listen, strong, and you feel protected by her", she admitted with a soft smile.

"MY GODDESS~~~I will follow you to the end of the earth!", Sanji proclaimed and took your hand to give it a kiss but was pushed directly away by your boyfriends´ foot to the face, while he pulled you close.

"Stay away from Je! She´s mine! You have no right to kiss her hand, Sanji"

Loud bickering broke out, which made you laugh loudly. You always thought, that once they found out how strong you are, they would want you to leave the crew, in fear of endangering everyone else but never thought that you were being worshipped.

[anonymous-chicken-was-taken]

What the Ace Attorney Villains Could Get Charged With (to the best of my research) (in America laws)

Game Two

!Disclaimer! I know nothing about law take this with a grain of salt I was just bored.

Richard Wellington

Assault and battery - Two cases of both. One when he killed Dustin Prince and the second when he hit Phoenix with the fire extinguisher. Though, depending on whether or not Phoenix saw him coming, he could be innocent of the second assault charge. Not the battery, though. I doubt either would count as aggravated assault, as it was the fall, not the fists, that killed Dustin; though Phoenix's is a bit more uncertain due to the weight of the fire extinguisher and the fact that he's only not dead because he's a freak of nature.

Incrimination - He tried to frame Maggey with the name written in the sand.

Obstruction of justice - Can you say "tampering with the crime scene"?

Theft - He stole Phoenix's phone, even if it wasn't technically his intention. It doesn't really matter, since his own phone was likely regarded as evidence. So, theft no matter how you look at it.

Fraud - So much fraud, seeing as he's a con artist. That's what con artistry is. The textbook definition of fraud, all the time, as a job.

Conspiracy - As he was in a GROUP of con artists, his fraud is conspiratorial in nature.

Second-degree murder - He had the intention to kill or severely injure Dustin, but didn't seem to be thinking about it. Thus, no premeditation.

Computer fraud/abuse - Yes, this is an actual thing. When he deletes the contacts off of Phoenix's phone, he's commiting a crime. Doubly so since his actual intention to delete information off of a piece of evidence during a criminal investigation, which may lead to some transferred intent or something.

Perjury

Morgan Fey (includes crimes from Game 3)

Conspiracy - She plans the murder of Dr. Grey with Ini Miney, in depth. Perhaps the most clear-cut case of conspiracy in the series. Also all KINDS of conspiracy in Bridge to the Turnabout.

Obstruction of justice - She did the tampering of the crime scene in Dr. Grey's murder, hiding and fabricating several pieces of evidence regarding Maya.

Incrimination - You know the deal. Frame-ups are incrimination.

Treason - Depending on how you interpret the government in Kurain, she could be guilty of this by committing crimes against the government. I'm trying to figure out what crime she may have committed trying to usurp Maya and Misty, so I may change this later if I figure out something more accurate.

Corruption - If you don't think treason makes sense, then she definitely committed this, regardless. Even without any monarchy, there would have to be some kind of business model for the spirit channeling, which makes her a business executive of sorts, therefore capable of criminal corruption.

First-degree murder - By proxy, when Ini Miney kills Dr. Grey. They planned it together, after all.

Attempted regicide - This is the closest real life law to describe when she tried to kill Maya due to her status. By proxy, of course. If you don't buy the Feys being some kind of pseudo-monarchy, then this is just attempted murder.

Assault and battery - Three charges, by proxy. One for Dr. Grey, one for the drugging of Maya, and one for Dahlia attacking Maya at Hazakura temple. All are aggravated except for the drugging because knife. It's possible some of the assault charges wouldn't go through due to the fact that Dr. Grey and Maya may not have seen the attacks coming.

Child abuse - Her treatment of Pearl could easily be considered this, particularly in the third game when she tries to trick her into murdering her cousin. That's pretty bad parenting.

Perjury

Acro (Ken Dingling)

First-degree murder - The murder was about as planned as you can get without taking it to its logical extreme Manfred-von-Karma-style. Yes, he intended to murder Regina, but transferal of intent is a thing. I'm honestly not sure if the fact that he was intending to kill a child carries over, but if it does, the punishment would be greater.

Obstruction of justice - A bit of a grey area, but he did hide the murder weapon and burn the cape, so I believe this applies.

Child endangerment - This or a similar charge may apply due to his goal to kill a child, by my best estimation. Even if it doesn't, failure to report suspected child abuse can count as child endangerment, and... well, the basically the whole circus was grooming this sixteen year old girl, so...

Incrimination - Depends if you think his framing of Max became intentional at some point along the way, which, considering the fact that he testified against him, it almost definitely did.

Battery - No assault, actually, since Russel didn't see the statue coming! But still battery. Automatically.

Perjury

Matt Engarde (+ Shelly de Killer, by extent)

Conspiracy - He hired an assassin.

First-degree murder - He hired an assassin.

Burglary - Breaking into a place with the intent of committing a felony. While he didn't do this himself, he had Shelly de Killer do it, and anything a hitman does while carrying out the act they were paid to do is a crime the hirer is also guilty of.

Assault and battery - Given Shelly de Killer suffocated Juan and there were signs of a struggle, this is presumably true. Matt is guilty by proxy. Given that we have no idea what he used to kill him, I have no idea if this is aggravated or not.

Fraud - Shelly de Killer pretended to be a bellboy at the hotel. Matt is guilty by proxy.

Blackmail - The ENTIRE case hinges on blackmail in the form of kidnapping Maya. However, he also takes significant steps towards blackmailing Shelly de Killer, so he may actually have two cases of this on his hands.

Kidnapping - This is a bit of a grey area, since it isn't certain that he directly ordered Shelly de Killer to kidnap Maya and use her to blackmail Phoenix. However, given that she was hidden in his house, he seems to know what happened, and he assists by reminding Phoenix of the situation, it's safe to say this was a conspiratorial crime. He's almost DEFINITELY going to be found guilty of this.

Wiretapping - Hiding hidden cameras in a "gift" for someone, as well as around his private residence... wiretapping for sure. Only if the video included audio, though. If not, it doesn't count.

Incrimination - In the plot twist of the century, he's actually guilty of this through conspiring with Phoenix himself. While he did not directly tell him or formulate and communicate the plan to pin the blame on Adrian at first, he did so later and clarified that this was always his intention. While Phoenix has the defense of being blackmailed at the time and the fact that he didn't actually provide any incriminating testimony (perhaps he's accessory?), Matt likely isn't going to be so lucky.

Invasion of privacy - See: wiretapping. Even if the cameras didn't have audio, they'd still be a huge invasion of privacy.

Taking a hostage - A few different names for this depending on where you are, but the basic principle remains the same. This is a separate crime from kidnapping and blackmail, as neither automatically mean a hostage situation. By proxy; even if he weren't conspiring, Shelly still defines this as part of the duties he was paid for, so the whole hired-felony-committing thing still applies.

False imprisonment - This is also not technically the same as a kidnapping charge. Shelly not only moved Maya to a different location against her will (kidnapping), but he also kept her there (false imprisonment). By proxy.

Perjury

GAME ONE

[semi-sketchy]

Okay I 100% legally watched Sonic 3.

6/10, overhyped.

I think I enjoyed the second movie more actually, but let me walk through this.

As a brief summary, basically Gerald was imprisoned for 50 years and designed the Eclipse Cannon (it's just a flying saucer laser) in return for his freedom. GUN built it, but it needs two keys to activate. So it's kinda a race to see who can get both keys and either destroy the world or save it. Gerald was also the one who hacked into the system and disabled Shadow's stasis as well as stole Eggman's tech to lure him to the research facility for a team-up. That's the basis of the plot.

Firstly, the beginning is...a million miles a minute. I thought the trailers were hypercut, but no the scenes really are just that fast. (At least until we get to Carrey. Animating hedgehogs is too expensive.) Sonic's having a party, GUN shows up like "we need Team Sonic" and Sonic is literally just like "I like the name, let's go!" that's it. No briefing, no convincing from the organization that tased and captured him, just go.

I did find the little "What did you do, Sonic?" "I don't know, I do a lot of things" line to be funny, though.

Also before they jump out of the chopper, Sonic does the "talk about low budget flights" but it is...so forced. Like the entire idea behind that line in SA2 is Sonic is being a cheeky bastard because they captured him, here he just randomly says it for no reason.

NOW THE ACTUAL BEST PART OF THE MOVIE, Shadow and Maria. God they were SO CUTE. Like this is the stuff I wanted out of Dark Beginnings. Maria on roller skates while Shadow pulls her around the base, just getting into kid mischief, watching movies, slipping keycards to go sit out and watch the stars... Oh my god AND THE BUNNY FACE SHE DRAWS ON HIS TUBE. These scenes? 10/10.

Actually, when Commander Walters finally briefs Sonic, the way it was edited really made me think "oh shit did...did Shadow accidentally kill Maria in this movie?" that's obviously not what happened, but I was interested to see what angle they took.

Oh yeah and Maria didn't get shot. She died from an explosion CAUSED by a gunshot. The solider was trying to shoot her though, just Walters knocked the gun because "that's a child!" So there's that. (Not allowed to hate the GUN commander here, after all, he's on Sonic's side! He can't be for child murder!)

It was also...not as dramatic as I thought it would be. It's like 30 seconds. Gerald runs up, says "We have to go, they wanna take Shadow from us!" Then 10 seconds later, boom. I'm not paraphrasing, by the way.

Oh yeah, I guess I should mention Gerald. He's 110 and still alive. I was not opposed to this, I like to think I'm receptive to changes in AUs and I was curious what they could do with Gerald actively manipulating Shadow. Here's what they do: Jim Carrey. It's just double the Jim Carrey shenanigans and yes, it is tiring. Shadow has a moment like "I don't know if this is what Maria would have wanted..." and Gerald just goes "it's not about what she wanted, it's about what they deserve" and that's...basically it. YOU COULD'VE DONE MORE WITH THIS, BRO.

On top of that, Shadow was not created: he was found inside a meteor that looks A LOT like the Black Comet. Considering this is meant to be modern day Earth and not a huge fictional universe like the games where there's advanced space stations and such in the 50s (oh yeah the ARK ain't real here) I'm fine with this. Keeps his alien origins while aligning to the movie universe.

And I was kinda surprised but I THINK there's a reference to the fandub?? Sonic calls Shadow "Hot Topic" nooo my secret!!! so that was interesting. Could also just be some of their famous product placement, but this movie is also less...commercial than the others. No Olive Garden mentioned. Guess they used all the ad space on Knuckles.

Anyways, while getting the second key, Shadow punches Tom because he has the key and is currently disguised as Commander Walters, the one who sealed Shadow away. This is important, this is like the basis for the entire end of the movie because apparently one punch to the chest is enough to knock Tom out and put him in the hospital.

Now Sonic ALSO wants revenge, so he gets the Master Emerald to go super and...I just gotta point out, Knuckles left it with Wade. The way EVERYONE IN THE THEATER GROANED WHEN WADE POPPED UP ON SCREEN it was beautiful. Nice to know we all hate the Knuckles show.

This all leads to Shadow's reform which was...ech? After Sonic is like "no I won't kill you, that's not who I am, revenge doesn't make things better" Shadow is like "I didn't have a choice in who I became" and Sonic says "you always have a choice", Live and Learn plays and they go to stop the cannon firing on Earth. It felt so...shallow for a character like Shadow. Nothing about how Maria loved the world, so he should protect the world to honor her memory, it's just "revenge is bad". I guess it's to be more relatable to Sonic because they lean more into them being two sides of the same coin, but it's just so rushed and hollow.

Meanwhile Eggman kills his grandfather in a really drawn out unfunny sequence because he wants to rule the world, not destroy it, but the canon is already set to fire so they instead turn it away from the Earth while Super Sonic and Shadow block the ray. (The moon getting hit is an accident.)

Also you have no idea how much I wanted them to show Sonic trying to save Shadow, but only getting his inhibitor ring, THOUGH SONIC IS THE ONE WHOSE SUPER FORM FAILS. In this universe, I guess it makes sense because Sonic isn't the absolute powerhouse his game version is. But does Shadow show his growth and try to save him? No, it takes Tails and Knuckles awhile to address that.

Anyways, the reactor is unstable so Eggman tries to buy time while Shadow pushes the weapon away from Earth and then it blows up, killing both of them. ...Well Shadow shows up in the post-credits alive so I guess just Eggman is dead...maybe. Because the other scene shows a shit ton of Metal Sonics a la Shadow Android and Amy shows up to save him as the 4th teaser.

Overall, my issue isn't that it changed SA2's story, I wanted something different because I literally have SA2 at home. It's just these changes have all their potential completely squandered in favor of a lot and I mean a LOT of Jim Carrey nonsense. He's like half this movie.

With the writing quality of these films, I shouldn't be surprised, but I really thought after the second movie, they were on a good track. After seeing everyone else love it, it's kinda disappointing to find it rather mid.

Oh yeah and nothing from the bowling tournament teaser line in the Knuckles series, either. After making us sit through that hell, I WANTED to see Shadow bowl. We truly were robbed.