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soleilnomoon · 1 year ago

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Prompt: “I don’t like them; I can barely tolerate them.” for Abarai Renji. Once again, I leave it up to you what you wanna do (but maybe enemies to lovers) Yes, I might be on a little Bleach binge right now but it's okay you like it. kiss kiss

*hides face* ok, ok, ok, hear me out, let's pretend i didn't take *insert accurate length of time here* and say i wrote this in a few days. i am so sorry i took forever and ever with this but as u know i can only give u top quality work or else i'll never forgive myself. renji is.......well *motions to him* yk how that man is, he made me suffer!!!! in a good way!!! but still i suffered!!! yk how much i love enemies 2 lovers u big brained beauty 🤭 so ty baby❤️️ also this is my first renji fic and i can't belev it.

5.2k words (don't look at me, just don't), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni, enemies 2 lovers, angst city, angst angst city biiiitch (yk the vibez babey), smut obviously, no fluff bc who do u think i am? feat. renji being a mean petty bitch (i guess that makes him a mean dom maybe yes), sub reader bc that's what i want; there's a party with alcohol, ichigo and co. make brief appearances, bathroom sex, choking (he's sf romantic), a lot of cursing bc they're grown that's why, renji is a beast when he's jealous, reader is a lil bit of a brat but lbr who wouldn't be in that situation; mutual ""unrequited"" pining, lots of tension, fingering, rough (consensual) sex, lil bit of degradation, lil bit of a size kink, lil bit of praise kink, idk there's probably more stuff but i'm so tired rn i can't think; um renji obviously comes w his own gd warning; reader is determined to not let this man win but, hello, it's renji he always comes out on top wink wink. (if u see spelling errors/mistakes no u didn't hottie)

“when i write about all of this it becomes its own kind of violence. / i retell the story as myth, as if it were my own body devoured.” — caitlin scarano & “so much of love is violence. the desire / to be split open, invaded, mangled / and made new.” — erin slaughter

HATRED X TASTES X SWEET

you’ve never been cut out for this line of work, but your insistence on eliminating all your shortcomings is commendable. brave, even. it’s something you don’t really think about unless you want to spend the night half-drunk, rambling about the things you should’ve done but never had the courage to do.

like telling a certain red-haired, bullheaded lieutenant that he’s the most ridiculous and excessively arrogant man you’ve ever come across. all in all, you’re pretty sure telling him off won’t phase him; nothing ever does, not really anyway.

at first you try politeness; your grandmother would be proud of how well you’ve learned to bite your tongue. it’s ungraceful, but you fake it well enough that others think your emotional maturity is far above theirs. little do they know, you actually have to literally bite your tongue; simply remaining silent isn’t easy for you anymore. so, when you bite, it’s with rage, months of unshed tears and accumulated spite; you bite your tongue so hard you bleed more every time.

your unsaid words bunch together — tiny soldiers determined to strike in unison without fail — and sit heavily in the back of your throat, ready to launch forward at your command.

but you never say them, and you choke more than once; an unbearable shame to carry with you as he continues to slash at your patience, thin ribbons cascading off you like confetti. you wonder if your anger will lead to your death— or if it’ll lead to his. you intend to keep all of that hidden, though, and keep reminding yourself that eventually he will tire from berating you, from talking to you as if you’re the most incompetent being in all of soul society, from looking at you like your very being disgusts him.

that’s what you tell yourself these days. you like to conveniently ignore the way his dark eyes linger on yours during meetings — you’ve noticed that people have taken to describing them as soulless, cold and critical, unimpressed at everything and anyone.

but you see him — all of him; the raw, feral, powerful and severe side that not many have the misfortune of knowing. they think they get the real version of renji whenever they deal with him, but they never do; you know that now. you doubt it’s even intentional on his part, or maybe — just maybe — he really does hate you.

to put it plainly, as you’ve told rukia and rangiku, the sixth division lieutenant has the biggest fucking chip on his shoulder. despite the walls he continues to put up to keep others from carving out a place for themselves in his life, despite the way his words roll around his mouth, clumsily coasting down the length of his tongue before they pierce the air around you with their toxicity — you’re tired of the way he purposely singles you out time and time again to point out your inadequacies without remorse.

abarai renji is also sick of dealing with you. whenever he thinks he’s found a means of scaring you off, you scurry right back more determined and more obnoxious than ever. which is rich, coming from him.

he claims you’re inconsequential, a nuisance — a pest, even — one that he intends to get rid of permanently. it’s harsh and he’s more than aware of that, but he finds that this is the most appropriate solution to his problem. he could easily ignore you; he could try to keep his comments to himself and try to be somewhat cordial whenever you cross paths. but he won’t. and he has no damn idea why.

“no, no come in, i have plenty of snacks for everyone.”

rukia’s voice is a constant in his life that he’ll always be thankful for. he watches her glide into the room, grinning at the friends she’s invited over, her laughter like soft bells that is easily recognizable even with all the conversation happening. when he feels his chest constrict, an uncomfortable, yet familiar warmth stretching over his skin, he decides to drink so that he can ignore the sensation and forget.

a feeble attempt, because he knows how this will all end — with him drunk off his ass in an even worse mood than he started.

mouth opening, renji prepares to tell rukia to get better sake, when rangiku leads you into the living room where he’s lounging comfortably. the bottle in his hand grows heavier by the second and suddenly he’s not very interested in drinking anymore. already, his foul mood from earlier returns, and every step you take only fuels his irritation; it bubbles underneath his skin, making him frown and grip the bottle tighter.

you don’t need to look at him to know that he’s glaring at you — he always is. rangiku feigns obliviousness as she encourages you to go make yourself comfortable while she fetches snacks with rukia. you stare at both of them, wide-eyed, confused — a pleading look sliding onto your face after a few moments, but they assure you both that they’ll be back shortly.

with a sigh you sit on the armchair adjacent to him, determined to just remain quiet in the hopes that he’ll just ignore you for once. sitting up straight, discomfort finds its way to the pit of your stomach, swirling around as you fidget with the bracelet around your wrist. his eyes watch your movements with an obsessiveness that startles him; there’s no reason why he should be interested in the shape of your fingers, there’s no reason why he should be interested in the way you keep brushing stray curls away from your face, and there’s no reason why he should be interested in possibly fucking you when he knows for a fact that he is absolutely uninterested in you.

his disinterest runs so deep it spoils the taste of the sake, but he takes another swig anyway. the alcohol burns as it travels swiftly down his throat, and it just so happens that you glance over at him — innocuous, an attempt to gauge his annoyance level — as his throat bobs and your mouth dries at the sight.

you turn your face away quickly, a traitorous flush crawling slowly along your skin, unjustly warming your cheeks. inhaling deeply, you do your best to will the blush away to no avail. where the hell are rukia and rangiku? surely it can’t take that long to grab snacks. you’re tempted to go find them, but you have a sinking feeling that it would turn you into a coward.

and you refuse to give that man any more ammo against you.

IT’S X (NOT) X YOU

what initially starts as a small get-together, quickly turns into a party; leave it to rangiku to liven things up, her laughter infectious and whimsical, flitting about like a persistent hummingbird as she encourages everyone to play drinking games with her. experience taught him better than to engage because despite his high tolerance, there’s really no beating rangiku when she’s on a roll.

but when you emphatically agree to play with the rest, fury rises in his chest; your audacity, it seems, knows no bounds — and, yes, he understands the hypocrisy in his critique. he just doesn’t care.

the games are every bit as simple and ridiculous as you thought they’d be, but as everyone seems to be in relatively good spirits, you play along. not normally competitive with things like this, you get into the swing of things when you win round after round.

cheers resound nearby at your success, but throughout the evening, you feel renji’s stare and do everything in your power to not give in and look back at him. a tough feat to say the least, as you are always acutely aware of his presence; and when you do happen to sneak another glance, his legs are spread and you curse under your breath for finding that attractive.

foolish, you chide, so fucking foolish.

renji sucks his teeth as he feels a heaviness in his head; groaning loudly he swirls around what little sake he has left in his glass before finishing it.

“you lose again,” rukia’s voice is soft and teasing, but he’s annoyed and can’t be bothered with talking to her right now. she pats his shoulder gingerly before standing up to head to the kitchen. his mind is a mess and he blames you for it completely.

“i don’t fucking care,” he says gruffly to her retreating figure, not bothering to elevate his voice as he’s sure she heard him. and he really doesn’t care; he’s trying to tell himself to calm down, but he can’t.

the fault completely lies with you — of course it does, everything you do agitates every cell in his body. the reason is simple, and he hates that he doesn’t want to admit it — he’s so undeniably attracted to you that it pisses him off. he takes in your appearance for the twelfth time that night, admiring the softness of your cheeks, the fullness of your lips, the way you seem entirely too animated as you laugh at someone’s lame joke — and yes, he can tell it’s not funny from how your laughter dies down after a few seconds.

if he had better sense, he’d stop looking at you, but he can’t now; he might blame the sake for this later.

the intensity behind his gaze is enough to bring an inextinguishable heat along your skin. it’s only unpleasant because it travels down to your lower abdomen and brings about an agonizing ache between your thighs. at first, you do the sensible thing and ignore it; but the longer he stares, the more you want to look over, until finally you can’t take it anymore.

“i’ll be back,” you mumble to the other guests, although you doubt they hear you with how rowdy everyone is being; the noise isn’t unwelcomed, the distraction serves to mask your footsteps when you scurry from the living room to the back corridor, turning corner after corner until you find the bathroom.

a coward — that’s what you are.

you barricade yourself in there without thinking, heart pounding loud enough to disorient you. after several long minutes, you splash water on your face and take a few deep breaths.

“i can’t believe i ran away,” your voice is so soft you barely hear the words — almost as if you’re still in disbelief over the entire situation. there’s something off about renji tonight; the tension between you was more palatable and tangible than normal.

even though you feigned nonchalance as best as you could, there were so many moments where you couldn’t help but watch him too. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. there’s no excuse for it, and yet you struggle to find one anyway.

as you look at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you try to convince yourself to head back out there. sooner or later, people will realize that you’ve gone missing — and rangiku is nosy enough and like a bloodhound when she’s drunk. your time is incredibly limited now.

there’s no reason for you to continue to avoid the inevitable, so you sigh and give yourself a small pep talk before heading back outside.

TRUTH X OR X …

renji’s mood doesn’t improve at all; in fact, it worsens the moment ichigo sits right next to him. he’s not even sure why this sets him off, but even closing his eyes and counting backwards does nothing to keep him calm.

with slight difficulty, renji grits out, “what do you want?”

undeterred, ichigo stares at renji pointedly, voice steady as he says, “you could go after her, you know.”

again, renji sucks his teeth loudly, arms folded against his chest, right leg bouncing slightly as he taps his foot on the floor. punching ichigo would be pointless, and then rukia would get involved and he doesn’t have time to deal with the fallout from that so he keeps his hands to himself.

besides, his anger is obviously misdirected right now. he knows — he knows —but he doesn’t care, so he doesn’t mince his words when he responds with, “go after who?” through his peripheral, he can see ichigo’s patience has also reached its limit.

“you’re not that stupid, so stop acting like it.”

normally, renji would take the opportunity to mes s around and argue back and forth, but he might actually fight his friend if he doesn’t walk away. so, he does; abrupt and without looking back, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor.

maybe he just needs to change his approach with you, maybe talking things out would work in his favor; or maybe he needs to fuck you hard enough to purge you from his mind.

he lies to himself when he considers the first option, because it’s the second option that drives him to walk a little faster, head full of impossible thoughts as he wonders just how far you’d let him go.

when renji finally finds you, you’re in the middle of rebuffing the advances of an unfamiliar guest — they’re drunk, handsy, and keep oscillating between giving you cheesy pick-up lines and berating you for rejecting them. but you stand firm, and your voice is relatively loud when you tell them, “for the last fucking time, go away.”

under normal circumstances, renji would let you handle this yourself; he has no desire to play prince charming or be a knight in shining armor. you’re more than capable, and he’s seen the way you fight and argue to defend yourself — but, it’s when they place a wandering hand on your hip that he loses sight of all of that.

a brief moment passes, where your blood boils as you contemplate how best to kick their ass, but you never get the chance. a rather large shadow hovers over you both, but you already know who it is without having to look properly.

renji is a force to be reckoned with on a good day, but he’s at his fucking limit right now.

he doesn’t ask, doesn’t give any options for retreat, doesn’t say a word when he yanks them off with a brute strength that surprises even you.

now, can he really be blamed for throwing them into the neighboring wall hard enough to make a noticeable hole? and is it really his fault that the drunk can hardly walk as they clutch their broken arm while murmuring something unintelligible, something that renji takes as a sign of them wanting a repeat demonstration?

consequences be damned, he gives the drunk a lethal look before they scramble away in fear.

“loser,” he says loud enough for them to hear, but they don’t double back or even try to go toe-to-toe with the hot-headed lieutenant. you watch, half-amused and half-impressed with the unnecessary machismo, but still, you know better than to chastise him right now, especially when your heart sputters out of control from his proximity.

“…thanks,” you say, a faint flush on your cheeks, voice soft, head fuzzy when you realize that renji — aka mr. “i’ll fight you on everything any day of the week unprovoked for no reason other than to drive you crazy” — saved you. unprompted at that.

you make the mistake of looking up at him, your nerves prompting you to take a small step back when you realize that the usual hostility that renji reserves for you specifically is nowhere to be found. in its place is something more unreadable — or, rather, you don’t want to read into it for fear of being wrong.

renji steps closer, which makes you back up again until your back hits the wall and you’re no longer able to escape.

“we need to talk,” he says suddenly, but you shake your head, non-verbally objecting to the idea, curls bouncing wildly with your exaggerated movements. since he knows he’s pressed for time, he grabs your face with his large hand and stops you from moving. “that wasn’t a request.”

swallowing rusty nails would be better than dealing with your conflicting feelings over renji right now, because he’s much too close to you and now you’re forgetting why it is you hate him in the first place. ironically, he’s in the exact same position. so far, he’s acted on impulse over you more times than he can count tonight, but he supposes that’s to be expected — you are a wildcard, after all.

“what if i don’t want to.” your response is clumsy, the words tumbling one after the other. “what if i want you to leave?” you don’t actually mean that, but you throw it at him anyway, to see if maybe this was all a fluke, and maybe, just maybe he’ll remember himself and you both can go back to fighting like usual.

he considers your question, goes so far as to release your face to wrap his hand around your throat instead. your sharp inhale and parted lips tell him all he needs to know.

with a slightly raised brow, he asks, “well, do you?”

because if you do, he’ll walk away right now. but he knows what your answer will be, he just has to drag it out of you. he squeezes your neck to remind you to hurry it up, and before you can answer him properly, he places his leg in between yours, pressing close enough that you roll your hips forward while whimpering softly.

he really didn’t think any of this through, but luckily the adrenaline from it all won’t wear off anytime soon, so he’ll improvise along the way. he spent most of the night dealing with a semi-hard cock that wouldn’t listen to reason no matter how many times he tried to stop thinking about you. but now? all of that restraint goes out of the window, and before he can question it, he kisses you.

you’ve kissed plenty of people in your life — some good, most were mediocre and uninspiring — but renji actually takes your breath away. everything about him commands all your attention; from the way his lips move against yours greedily, leaving behind burning kisses that make your nipples harden underneath your clothes — to the way he thrusts his tongue in between your plush lips, licking inside of your mouth hotly, igniting an inextinguishable flame deep inside of you.

he grabs your hip with his free hand, squeezing hard, fingers digging firmly. all the irritation from earlier dissipates completely, leaving you feeling lightheaded and needy; you grind against him recklessly, arousal dampening the front of your panties, clit sensitive as it rubs against the delicate fabric. his cock presses against you — thick, long, and hard — and you wonder if this is why he’s so angry with you all the time.

was it always that simple?

if you asked the question aloud, he wouldn’t know what to tell you — it’s a combination of things, but mostly he’s an idiot; he knows that now, but likewise you’re an idiot too. you just don’t realize it yet.

it’s renji who pulls away first, lightly panting, breath warm against your lips as he releases his hold on your neck. he doesn’t know where he finds the strength to string together a coherent statement, but his voice is low and husky when he speaks. “answer my question.”

you blink at him, completely in a daze, lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. “wh-what?” you don’t remember what he asked you, and you don’t care.

“do you want me to leave?”

for some reason, you completely forgot that you told him that. you rub your lips together and run your hands along his chest. “no.” the answer comes out automatically, without hesitation, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

“good.”

SAY X IT X LOUDER

he picks you up with ease, almost as if you weigh nothing; a small squeal spills out of you as you wrap your legs around his waist, and renji gives you a sly smile — one laced with mischief and an unspoken promise of what’s to come.

you’re back in the bathroom again, this time sitting on the counter with renji standing in between your legs. his hands coast along your curvy hips and down your thighs. he’s touching you but he’s not touching you and it’s driving you crazy.

with hurried, eager hands you both undress, and for the umpteenth time you internally curse this style of uniform; still, it doesn’t take too long before his hands are on you again, calloused palms rough and warm against your skin. he places a kiss on your jaw, then another on your neck right underneath your earlobe; each kiss he leaves behind distorts your common sense, makes you feel irrational and impatient. your hands are soft and well-practiced, stroking his stiff cock as his hips jerk forward from your touch.

he can’t remember the last time someone had him this worked up, which pisses him off a little; because that means him fucking you once won’t settle things. at that thought, renji bites your neck and your startled yelp quickly morphs into a moan when he runs his tongue along the mark. he dips his hand in between your thighs, rubbing his thick fingers against your slit. a loud banging on the door has you looking over, and you can’t remember if he bothered to lock it once you both were inside.

your attention nearly falters, but when he pinches your clit you buck your hips, a shiver shooting down your spine at the slight pain.

“eyes on me,” is all he says, seemingly annoyed that you would dare to focus your attention elsewhere, “always keep them on me.” what he means by that, he doesn’t know, but you take the command at face value and nod while swallowing. he slides a finger inside of your wet pussy, and while you initially wanted to keep quiet to avoid suspicion and to prevent anyone from intruding, but you can’t now.

“renji,” you breathe, fingers trembling as you hold onto the counter for support, he thrusts his finger in and out, quick and hard, before inserting another. you clench around him, hips rocking forward as he fingerfucks you and grinds his palm against your clit. you close your eyes and moan louder than you mean to, chest heaving, thoughts jumbled and incoherent. he scissors his fingers inside of you, but quickly removes them without prompting.

“fuck!” you open your eyes again and stare at him in disbelief. “why did you stop?”

he laughs darkly and grabs your face roughly, fingers pressing into your soft skin without remorse. “what did i tell you earlier?” everything about this situation is laughable. he gave you very specific instructions, ones he thought were easy enough for you to follow. for some reason your movements are sluggish, mind in a haze as you scramble to remember but nothing comes to mind.

as you open and close your mouth, looking every bit as adorable as you are alluring, he decides to show you a bit of kindness.

“get down.” his command comes swift, his patience practically nonexistent; precum glides down the head of his thick cock, but he ignores it for the sake of teaching you a lesson. you don’t bother waiting for him to repeat himself and slide off the counter. “turn around.”

like a doll, your movements are dictated by renji with simple, short statements. nothing about that phases you, though; it’s all very exciting, so when you do turn to face the counter, you bend forward and lean over the counter. renji admires the roundness of your ass and slaps it hard.

again, you find yourself moaning loudly, without shame and not caring about the volume of your voice. surely the others won’t pay attention, as they’re still very drunk and are entertaining themselves with more games. another slap on your ass has you grabbing onto the counter again, legs shaking, arousal dripping between your thighs in anticipation. if renji doesn’t fuck you soon, you might actually die.

he knows he’s taking too damn long, but it’s much more interesting making you work for him. he rubs the tip of his cock against your puffy pussy, gliding it in between your slick folds, your moans sweetly wrapping around him once he pushes inside of you slowly. someone bangs on the door again, making you look over, anxiety quickly filling your head with unnecessary what ifs that almost command your full attention.

with narrowed eyes, renji grabs onto your hair, curls soft in his hand, and yanks hard.

“the fuck did i say earlier?”

goosebumps travel down your arms as a different kind of awareness and clarity surges through you quickly. you blink at your reflection, watching the way he towers over you, his muscles hard and defined — sculpted from years of training and dedication to honing his skills. it hits you then, what he’s really asking you.

“to,” you swallow thickly, throat dry, “to keep my eyes on you always.” you say it all in one breath, gasping when he runs his tongue along the curve of your ear. you don’t know how much more you can take, but you know if you complain, if you say anything he might stop altogether.

renji’s smile is wicked and dark, his lips graze your earlobe, voice deep and gravelly, a huskiness that wasn’t there before as he thrusts into you, burying his cock deeply.

“good girl.”

he refrains from kissing you properly, instead pushing you down so you can lean over the counter again. your mind melts from it all, and you’re panting, heart beating faster and faster as he firmly places a hand on your back.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” he remarks thoughtfully, although you note the slight strain in his voice; as much as he tries to act like he’s not that affected by you, you know that isn’t the case at all. your pussy is every bit as enticing and heavenly as he knew it would be; he pulls back and slams his cock into you all over again, filling you completely. you try to keep watching him in the mirror, but he’s fucking you like he’s angry with himself for being so attracted to you.

and he absolutely is. it’s a truth he fought against for so long that he’s given up on denying it now. your moans drip onto his skin like caramel, sticky and sweet, and when you say his name like that — your voice going higher and higher from the ferocity of his thrusts — he nearly loses his mind.

“fuck,” he says out loud, grabbing your hip roughly, your wetness coating the length of his cock, “you’re taking me so well.” he knows you can’t really answer him, and he likes that; you’re beyond caring at this point, instead focusing on the way his cock reaches a spot that has you bouncing your ass and fucking yourself against him. normally, renji would play around and edge you in retaliation, but he’s too far gone, completely under the spell of your pretty pussy, with how soft and tight it is.

you’re not sure how you got here, but you’re drowning in ecstasy right now. he instructs you to lift your leg to rest it onto the counter, pulling out momentarily to help you position and spread your legs further apart. he plunges his cock into you again, keeping his hips closer as he gives you shorter, frenzied thrusts. your head spins and you can’t think straight, but that doesn’t matter. all you care about is the way renji is angling his hips, rolling them forward to pound into your cunt roughly, balls heavy as they smack against your ass.

“oh, oh, oh.” you swear your life flashes before your eyes, because something possesses him, his strokes shorter, brutal, and frenetic. drool slides down your chin, your voice hoarse from how loud you’ve been. you’re sure someone’s heard you by now, but you don’t care.

how can you?

with renji fucking you like this — merciless and possessive, fingers brusing your skin, almost as if he wants to make sure you’ll be as obsessed with him as he is with you — your common decency, your morals, everything that makes you you, they don’t exist.

all that’s left is this burning desire to let him have his way with you for as long as he wants. thankfully, you have enough sense to not admit that out loud; who knows what kind smugness you’ll be subjected to if renji knew.

but you’re pretty damn transparent about it, he can tell from the way you can’t stop clenching your pussy around his cock, from how your pussy makes loud, lewd squelching noises — ones that he’ll commit to memory so he can revisit them from time to time.

tears roll down your cheeks and you sob as you hold onto the counter as best as you can, back arching, hips rocking against him with a neediness you never knew you had. there’s a tightening in your stomach and your pulse skyrocketing as a flash of white practically blinds you. he watches the way your pussy keeps swallowing the length of his cock, and you finally fall over the edge, orgasm suffocating you with its intensity.

your cunt flutters around him, gummy walls soft and hypnotic, an addiction he never thought he’d have; breathing heavily, his muscles tense and renji groans something that suspiciously sounds like your name. the thought alone makes your face burn and warms your chest in a way that doesn’t make sense. and when he finally cums, he humps into you, cum thick and hot as it spills inside your pussy, mixing with your slick wetness. a completely messy affair, but he doesn’t care — it’s not his bathroom, after all.

legs trembling, you’re limp and incapable of movement, whimpering and whining until he finally pulls out of you.

renji runs a hand down his face, feeling spent but more than satisfied. suddenly his shoulders aren’t so tight and tense, and his mood is much more tolerable. you do your best to stand but almost fall — your legs are useless, turned to jelly because of the man behind you. he chuckles at that, then clears his throat once he realizes. he fully expected there to be a moment of awkwardness after, but it never comes. when he sees your face — lips bruised and swollen, face flushed, eyes glazed with a faraway look — he feels compelled to kiss you again. so, he does. it’s not sweet, nor is it tender, but it still makes your heart swell all the same. he holds you close as you wrap your arms around his neck, doing your best to keep standing, even though your legs are ready to give out.

you don’t know exactly what any of this means, but you do understand him a bit better now. he’s terrible with expressing himself, but you kind of like that about him; and maybe this isn’t the healthiest relationship, but life was uncertain and you’d take renji fucking you like it’s his last day alive over him openly hating you any day.

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connor6sex · 7 months ago

Text

Lifesteal s6 day 1 report

So i watched a whole lotta lifesteal yesterday, and i continue to be watching a lifesteal stream as i write this. But Derapchu is wonderfully ignorable, so we persist. Here are the majority of my observations and thoughts on day 1. Some of my recollection may be wrong, please correct inconsistencies if you know more than i do. Intense Spoilers below (including mace spoilers)

So i began the day over an hour to launch, meowing up a storm in Pangi's chat. meow meow meow. Wonderful stuff. Once the server was closer to start and everyone else went live, i pulled up Princezam and Squiddo's streams. These were to be my main perspectives for the day. At one point i did end up watching 4 streams at once, and it was chaotic and i dont like watching more than 2 at once. I had a man on the inside[4 monitors with almost everyone's stream pulled up] to give me more news as it breaks.

The first death was Roshambo who died to dripstone i believe.

The initial team breakdown is as follows:

The Empire: This the group of assholes who preanounced their team, Minutetech, Mapicc, Spoke and Jepexx. Joined by surprise new member ChiefXD. This team began by rushing Mace and potions in order to kill people. They declared themselves the 'evil empire' and did some murderating. They got one of [the?] first kills on HannnahxxRose using dripstone. [or jumper? i think they both died early on to dripstone]

Blindfold Brothers: As the name suggests Manepear and Flamefrags decided that it would be them against the world. They briefly allied with another group against the empire, but they super betrayed and killed a bunch of people. Why my informant was surprised when they did that is beyond me. I thought it was obvious that these two would go on a murder spree.

The next team i actually dont know much about. Idk how stable and who's acutaslly in it: I think Woogie, Redd, Hannah, Leo, Kab and Clown [according to woogie's !team command]. Kab suspects that Clown is going to betray the rest of the group, which would be pretty Clownpierce of him. But CLown and Kab are tight. As a group of 6, they are officially the largest team on the server. They attempted to take down the Empire, and Mane and Flame even joined them temporarily to hunt the Empire.

The Pants Pals: 4CVIT Squiddo and MrCube6. Amazing team, fantastic. Also a member of this team: Eevee Trial Chamber Gay (tcg) the dog. This dog is the msot important thing on this server. Dont care about the mace anymore, only this dog matters. Yes this group is the one that got the the mace, but forget that. puppy. Squiddo, inspired by her dog buried the mace in a barrel that only she knows the location of.

Spacewaffles: Bacon and Planet are back babey! they built a nice tower together with tuff and copper, it looks great. They are neighbours with Zam and also Ash. Who also built houses near spawn.

Derap Wemmbu Ash: according to chat and also backed up by Derap when i asked, they are also Allied with Pangi & Spep. Derap & Terrain also have thier own alliance outside of the team. derap said a duo name that was long and weird, i think it was like glazed donut something duo. idk. derap's a freak. In pangi's chat, his !team command says Derap. Derap's pinned message does not say Pangi.

PrinceZam: is alone. on purpose! this time! He claims he could have friends but he doesn't want them! Zam's going solo and he's being a pacifist this season, or at least for as long as it lasts. He's not doing this for 'moral' reasons, but Zam also stated he didn't know that Morals are subjective. So, uh. take that as you will.

PE: Pentar Ecorridor. Clever name, said no one. idk what they're up to. Pentar killed Zam on Bacon's request. that was Zam's first death.

The Sticklers: Jumper & Ro. idk anything about what they've done. I just noticed Jumper was live, so i asked her team in chat. Jumper is down to 6 hearts after Clown killed her twice in succession. idk about the other deaths.

other people: idk. SB737 has not logged on yet. Whether he is on vacation until monday or as some chatters said he died in hospital after being run over by a truck. Who can say which one is true. Jaron i think also hasn't logged on. idk what anyone else is up to.

heart recipe: 4 netherite, 4 nautilus shells 1 ominous key

Now thats the stuff that i might actually reference some day. but like. idk man.

Some other things: Wemmbu was stuck in a hole for a while. Zam and Mapicc were discussing how long he would stay there complaining and how long until he just logs off. At one point Pentar was willing to go rescue him, but Mapicc killed him before Wemmbu could be helped to preserver the important Wemmbu Research being done. Later Wemmbu was killed by Spoke and the whole world rejoiced as Wemmbu was freed from Cave civilisation.

No one likes the Empire. idk if the Empire even likes the Empire likes the Empire. Jepexx [tried? accidentally?] nearly teamkilled at multiple points. Idk if this team will last. they were being called Frat bros by other people, and made enemies of everyone. I think MoralTech might also be having second thoughts about being evil.

No one knows where the Mace is. the Pants Pals, (which until they named themselves that i was referring to them as 4squid6 as that's the best way to combine their names.) got the mace quietly after Sqiuddo's mad rng role of getting the heavy core on the first ominous key. After that Squiddo went and hid the mace, her own team does not know where it is. Clown later claimed to have the mace, and no one can technically verify he doesn't. but everyone suspects their enemies of having it. and no one knows for sure. Very fun for someone who's known who has the mace the whole time. I've been in chat saying that I have it, or freddy fazbear has it. It's important to spread misinformation in times like these. Remember, unverified guesses may count as streamsniping at mod's discretion. If you are saying random names have the mace, make sure that its people who aren't real or at least not on Lifesteal this season or haven't logged on. Does SB have the mace? Have they asked him? Have we proved SB doesn't have it? I think SB might have it. :shrug:

#lifesteal smp #lifesteal spoilers #yapping #liveblogging #techniqually liveblogging cause i am still watching derap

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vaporwavedoggie · 7 months ago

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Hello yes, I'm going to rant on tumblr dot com about my religion and what true Christianity is and should be

I promise you this is just me getting my message out there and trying to get through to more.. hateful Christians hopefully

Alright so. I understand there are many interpretations of The Bible. Let's start off with the whole "Lgbt+ folks are evil and ungodly" shit.

Do yourself a favor and look up the original Latin translation of the Bible. You know, the one that has all those books removed?

Yes yes, so the original translation didn't originally talk about homosexuality, it talked about men... sleeping with boys. That's right babey, the Bible originally said being a pedo is a sin, not two guys fuckin.

And nowhere in the Bible does it say being trans is a sin ahahhahah

And here's a little thought experiment for you: even if it WAS a sin, you know what else is considered a sin in The Bible? Eating pork and wearing mixed fabrics. I'm not Google, look this shit up yourself.

So are yall REALLY going to pick and choose what sins people are allowed to do?? And ignore the MAIN MESSAGES OF THE BIBLE?? You know, "love thy neighbor", how only God can judge you and you shouldn't just anyone else bc you know, you're not God...

So imo what I've realized being a Christian is. A lot of Christians aren't focused on spreading the teachings of Jesus. They're focused on pushing a political agenda and personal beliefs in the name of God

They're focused on having a power trip and putting other people down. If they were TRULY focused on the teachings of the Bible, they'd accept EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY ARE. Hell, Jesus was friends with prostitutes and the homeless. He didn't judge anyone

He just spread his word and his word was a message of kindness. Interpret The Bible how you will, but do you really think Jesus or God would want you to hate your fellow brother in his name? To wish harm or death upon anyone else just because you don't agree with their lifestyle?

True Christianity focuses on spreading love. I'm so out of touch with many Christians because I don't believe in hate. I don't believe in judging, because the Bible literally says not to judge anyone when you have sinned yourself. And everyone ever has sinned.

And when I tell people I'm Christian, I have to go into my beliefs because many are afraid that like most, I don't accept anyone and I'll spread blind hate. Which isn't how it should be. Hell I'm LGBT+ myself. It's pretty fucking sad that there are so many Christians that spread hateful rhetoric that nowadays, when you tell people you're Christian, they have to question whether or not you'll harm/judge them. Which isn't how it should be at all. This isn't the message Jesus wanted to spread.

So tl;dr: regardless of if you're LGBT, a sex worker, a drug addict, homeless, whatever the hell you are, God loves you and accepts you, as he does all his children. I understand if you have religious trauma and I won't push my religion down your throat

But in MY version of Christianity, my God is a loving God. I don't talk about my religion much but I'm tired of seeing hateful Christians. I promise you not all of us are like that, and regardless of your lifestyle I fucking love and accept you and won't judge you no matter what

My tumblr is a safe space for yall. All walks of life are welcome here. You are loved. And not just because it's what The Bible taught me, but it's because this is the message I believe with all my heart and will continue to spread.

I love you!! Rant over

#christian #christianity #religion #lgbt #lgbtq #religious trauma

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the-arteest · 2 years ago

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I MADE A RISE AU

the silly tortles

so!! in this au Yoshi was a famous musician rather than a movie star!! he passed his love for music onto his children, and is much more appreciative of all forms of art than in canon.(though he still thinks music is the best and most legitimate cough cough)

close ups of the boys!

Donnie(any pronouns)

i'm so sorry for the low quality aurgkuetg but! Donnie plays the piano! he is still very into tech, but their stuff and look is based a bit more on a piano because that's what the famous Hamato Yoshi played! wow!! but she truly wishes to play the drums because autism(/j please don't harass me)!!

next boy!

Mikey(any pronouns)

Mikey plays the (heavily modified) flute! While they love the instrument, it's just not enough for him. She needs the big guns! the bari sax!! did i mention all of them are very into jazz??

next boy!

Leo(he/him)

he's such a creature

anyways, Leo plays the trumpet! yes he's totally the asshole trumpet stereotype and i love/hate him for it. he loves the trumpet, but the music doesn't hit him in the feels, give him the jazz vibes! ignore his vanilla design ayuktghatg

next boy!

Raph(he/she/just Raph[ael])

i love her so much he is my life

yes those are little eyelashes!! alligator snapping turtles have little eyelash thingies and i love them for it<3

Raph plays the tuba, but the trombone is where his heart lies, she live laugh loves trombones

more details!

Splinter, while being a bit more accepting of who they are and how they express themselves, is still a bit stubborn. he won't let them all switch instruments until they master the ones they have. unfortunately, they inherited his stubbornness and refuse to practice their instruments until they're allowed to play the ones they want to play. this is a terrible stand-off and the boys partially lose anyways

they eventually find some strange vibey instruments(similar to the ones they already have) in Draxum's lab and take them home to mess with, and they find out the instruments are mystical! THAT'S RIGHT BABEY THEY'RE FUCKING BARDS WOOHOOOOO

eventually they learn to harness the

magic

and can make their funky instruments on their own! (they can still technically make the stuff they do in canon but they don't know anything but basic self-defense and would die with a weapon in their hands)

also the funky doodles

hope you love them as much as i do!!

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luimagines · 1 year ago

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Hi Pinky! I don't know where to put this or who to tell this to cause none lf my friends are available+loz enthusiasts (one of them hates loz with a burning passion too lmao😔😔) (He has beef with loz)

So uh yeah! New Link and Zelda yippie 100,000 yrs after Wild's era! Realm, Wild's successor is just as chaotic as him but his chaoticness(+trauma) goes beyond the stratosphere ❤️ (The Hero of Realms is this Link's hero title, Realm is his assigned nickname ig, stil not sure if this is his final hero title cause his story is still messy, doesn't make sense, and incomplete)

He's also 10 the babey and has facial recognition problems, he'd like look at four and say "Hi Wind! :D"

He also suggests stuff that are like a wtf worthy response, "Wanna watch me split the sea in half?" or "Wanna watch me steal the moon?" or "Wanna watch me break disassemble the master sword and reassemble it again like a lego?" *Fi had to intervene lmao* also Fi makes a physical appearance here haha! She deserves a comeback >:(

You wanna know whats more? He's Time and Twilight's descendant, he's physical proof that Twilight got laid hahahahaha gsvk djkfkdhshsjdk Imagine their shock Time going like Dang my bloodline survive that long??? And Twilight going Dang I continued the bloodline???

Funfact when Twilight tries to use the crystal while on Realms dragon companion the crystal doesn't work, it cancels out the crystals power

And this Link in particular doesn't have blonde or brunette hair, he has cherry red hair like Malon's except darker and the iconic blue eyes

He also has a dragon travelling companion (the dragon is like similar to the dragons in botw/totk, big flying danger noodles) the dragon grants Realm the power to open portals from realm to realm, era to era, or the past, present, and future of that certain realm. Also that dragon companion is this Link's mother, the whole time his mother has been with him the whole adventure, they even fought Ganon together along with Zelda :'( (I mean Realm did all the work tanking Ganon all the dragon did is fight off a whole army of monsters while saving civilians) (but does the chain know that? No) (Realm gets really stingy when someone makes unwelcomed comments to the dragon, or when they ride on the dragon and one of the chain accidentally does something that causes the dragons scales/mane to be stained/dirty) (yes I'm so unoriginal but shush) (the dragon also sings, it sings lullabies like zeldas lullaby, lost woods, ballad of the wind fish, etc... It doesn't have like powerful mighty roars a dragon should have but it has like a mystical, melodious, and serene roars, or just think of Mothras roar) (the dragons shards can also empower or heal anything or anyone with it)

Ignore this if you want I'm basically rambling stuff that is completely unrelated to your blog XD

Is mama dragon as big as Mushu though?

Do we get memes? ^.^*

Does she yell about dishonor to the rest of the boys who try to interfere with what her baby is doing? XD

#pinky replies #hero of realms #ok- still wondering about how Zelda fits into this #and why she wants to fist fight a ten year old XD

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lunar-eclipse-bunnies · 2 years ago

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NINJAGO TAROT DRAFT IVE HAD FOR 8 MONTHS imagine them as either just designs or with deeper meanings, i'm too tired to do a lot of analysis but i Am Right. prefacing this with YES i have character biases, and YES they are present here<3 its my blog ill post what i want (no i will not be tagging the characters i rag on i do not want to be bothered about them)

The Fool - lloyd. not that lloyd is a fool, but he is the blank slate, the character written to be of infinite opportunity. he can be reckless and innocent, naive and idealistic, gullible but free. even this late into the series his sense of self continues to change and evolve, never settling in a single place; the upright is young lloyd, our youthful and ignorant protagonist. the reverse is current lloyd, weighed down by the actions of not only his father, mother and uncle, but himself. his card should have 2 panels, one with babey lloyd and the other with older lloyd. maybe juggling his friends' elemental symbols, just for spice. spicy clownery.

The Magician - this is jay, hands down. i'm picking things/characters based on upright and reversed meanings, and while jay debuts as an determined and powerful character, he slips pretty quickly into the card's reverse meaning, often utilizing "manipulation, cunning, and deception" to get his way. most of the time it is subtle, as his manipulative tendencies have been slowly elaborated on over the course of the series. he can be summoning lightning or something with his card.

The High Priestess - skylor. again, the reverse is past skylor, during her brief betrayal, and the upright is present skylor, a wise ally and friend. i want her in her father's snake hat and in his chair. thank u

The Empress - misako, purely for the reverse meaning. i dont care about her so her card can be whatever

The Emperor - garmadon, same reason and also gotta match with the (ex) wifey! give my guy garm his 4 arms too pls

The Hierophant - kai. source: just trust me bro

The Lovers - pixal & zane, duh. they literally share zane's fighting skill after she receives half his heart in season 3, she and he are inseparable (re: essentially headmates) for the following 4 seasons, and are often depicted as the healthiest "het" couple in the show. they are DEVASTATED when they lose each other, their sense of balance. they're in love your honor damnit. HAVE THEM EMBRACE.

The Chariot - the bounty. mostly because it represents a home for the ninja for a good while in the show and is the only real space they can enact control and their wills on for a while. also because the significance of the bounty crashing in season 8 really encompasses the reverse meaning. just replace the chariot w the boat in the card.

Strength - cole. not just because of his super strength, but because he is the MOST compassionate and brave character in this entire goddamn show. say what you will but cole has been through death and back, dropped from a hundred story drop, lost his friends, his sensei, his best friend, AND had to resurrect his mother's legacy with his bare hands. this man has never once been shown to back down from a cause, take the coward's way out, or plain give up because he's the most tied to this ninja morality. when cole is disheartened, he takes it out on himself, gets mad at HIMSELF, never on other people like jay, kai, lloyd and even nya are prone to. give my boy a goddamn break. please let him chill w rocky in his card :) maybe give him his lava arms tho

The Hermit - WU DUH. meaning fits but also his card should have him drinking tea with a three-way split panel behind him showing off the places he found his students. good day

The Wheel of Fortune - cloud kingdom. cloud kingdom. damn those nerdy little bastards.

Justice - AKITA AKITA. karmic justice ring a bell, anyone? we can weigh her mask on the scale or something, just let her have her moment :)

The Hanged Man - yallre gonna hate me but this is actually zane. sacrifice is the NAME of the card. he keeps sacrificing himself, even when it ISNT needed. would love it if his card had him tied to the forbidden spinjitzu scroll, that would be pog

Death - morro. HA u thought you could escape him lol no. have him be bitchass. maybe show his ghost hanging around his skeleton or something. make it green

Temperance - ... ronin. i had some trouble with this, but i think this card captures him pretty well.

The Devil - Harumi. mostly because i already drew her a card, but also because of the reversed meaning.

The Tower - the great devourer. i think thats explanation enough.

The Star - ... benthomaar. am i jsut adding the jade ninja characters at this point? yes, yes i am. do they still fit? aboslutely. give my guy bentho a FUCKIN crown

The Moon - ECHO ECHO PLEASE. deception? illusions??? thats their bread and goddamn butter!!!! PUT THE LIGHTHOUSE AT NIGHT IN THEIR CARD, YOU COWARDS!!!

The Sun - vania. vania. vania. vania. will i elaborate? no!

Judgement - pixal, hands down. calm evaluation? being highly aware of yourself???? thats just pix, babey!!! and the reverse, FUCK, self doubt,,,, she rarely has those moments but!! when she DOES!!! AHHHHHH/POS

The World - NYA NYA NYA. NYA IN HER ELEMENTAL FORM HEAR ME OUT GUYS. in the upright meaning its her early season self, doing well on her own, achieving and succeeding and being fulfilled, and the reversed is her skybound to present self, stagnating as a character, no longer succeeding on her own or through her own means. the card also has to do with cycles, and considering how many times nya has died or been forced to change, well. who else would this card be???

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thedandelionresistance · 8 months ago

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We are the dandelion resistance. We go by many other names - Stars, The Infinities, all of our individual names - and wear many faces. We do not tolerate intolerance and the only people we exclude are exclusionists.

We are a safe space for all plurals and all identities. Yes, even that one. Yes, that one too. That one? You guessed it, yes. Contradictory? Confusing? Accused of bad faith and bigotry for being yourself/ves? You are welcome here.

Praesigenic, in the process of recovering from disordered to functional. We are survivors of multiple kinds of abuse, including aspects of RAMCOA abuse and programming-adjacent conditioning. We may discuss these here, but we have already shared more than what anyone is entitled to know, and will not answer invasive questions (questions seeking support or help, on the other hand, are welcome, even if they involve aspects of our identity that we have not shared or that you're unsure apply).

Our values (the things we try to prioritize most): Respecting autonomy and consent (including the right to self-harm) liberation not assimilation, anti-hierarchy, compassion, believing people about their experiences, assuming good faith and giving the benefit of the doubt, doing the unpleasant and difficult work of deradicalization, fighting bigotry rather than bigots, reformative and restorative justice over punitive, destigmatizing all identities and liberating especially those whose oppression is most erased, taking care of others and community and coalition building, judging people only on actions and never on thoughts or feelings alone, dichotomies are bullshit and binaries are basically always false and exclusionary (a mutually exclusive either or of two categories is a binary, regardless of how many subcategories it has).

We may be missing some, but these accurately sum up what you can expect from us, and we are extremely consistent in these across ALL categories.

We do not engage with bigots. If you're here to bitch at us for being inclusive, you will promptly be blocked. We will neither engage with you nor platform hate, so save us all the waste of time and block us first.

Edited to add: Sometimes we screenshot posts and comment on them after blocking the original person. This is a safety measure we developed after developing legitimate trauma from internet discourse. If the original posters see our post and want to do anything other than argue about why they're right and we're wrong, we are fine with people block evading to say so, especially if our perspective has shifted their original stance (even if we still don't completely agree. On the same page but a different sentence is different than in wildly different pages, chapters, or books.

And to overextend the metaphor, if we're responding to someone on a different page or even sometimes a different chapter, we usually try to assume good faith. We recognize tumblr is the site of vent posts never meant to escape containment and that people accidentally advocate for harmful things out of ignorance (which is neutral, not negative, since there's nothing morally bad about not having yet known something) all the time. We don't believe people's past mistakes are sins (if they were, babey we'd be going down pretty far), nor that accountability means never letting go of anything harmful someone has ever said or done.

Different book? We still try to be compassionate, even towards blatant and proud bigots, because that's our approach to deradicalization. But we are 1. people and therefore not above making vent posts ourselves and 2. do not generally expect those people to choose to immediately shift their views and have a helpful conversation. We always hope for it someday, because again the end goal is deradicalization, but we're also realistic about the fact that it takes a lot of time and effort on both the hateful person's part and the people working to rescue them from hateful ideologies.

#plural #praesigenic #endo safe #pro endo #tulpa safe #pro tulpa #anti-sys/medicalism whether or not it is 'pro' endo

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jazzmckay · 10 months ago

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tagged by @broodsys for this writer questionnaire uvu ty, i got really into this one. the deep jazz lore incoming <3

tagging @lyriumlullaby-ao3, @inscrutable-shadow, and @skadizzleross

copy and paste-able question list at the bottom of the post!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

says 88, but one is anonymous lol 89 babey

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

824,682

3. What fandoms do you write for?

dragon age currently, prior to that, detroit: become human. some witcher and RWBY mixed in. teen wolf, dishonored, red vs blue, homestuck back in the day, a couple other things.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Truth in Melody (witcher, geraskier)

The World Upside Down (dbh gen)

left an impression on my heart (teen wolf, scott/stiles. its over a decade old i am not linking this lol)

Variable Outcome (dbh, connor & gavin gen)

Winter Chill and Summer Bloom (dbh, connor/gavin)

5. Do you respond to comments?

absolutely! if i don't, it's only because the person is being a jerk or just uncomfortable. give me a heart emoji, you're getting a heart emoji right back. boop

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i generally write happy endings, no matter how hellish the road to that happy endings is. i do, however, have a Bad End dbh oneshot. Fair Compensation. it's straight up non-con, and from aggressor pov, so viewer discretion is advised

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gosh idk how i could pick. as i said in the previous answer, i try to leave off on a high note. Truth in Melody or perhaps Promises to Keep. wouldn't say they're happier than others, but they're among my longest fics, which means the characters had to go through some bullshit to get those happy endings lmfao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

a couple times. more often, i get weird / uncomfortable comments that i just ignore

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do! well, i'd say "kinky" tends to be a general theme ahahaha and feelsy! smut in my chaptered fics are more basic, the oneshots can be wild though. and then there's from the depths, an ancient song, where i wrote a foursome involving a LOT of tentacles. like a lot. so take that how you will.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

ive dabbled in ideas, but rarely get around to actually writing them. i do like the concept of smashing my favourite universes together, though. my dbh vampire series is basically just the lore of vampire: the masquerade, but i wouldn't consider it a full crossover

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have! and a couple additional requests, one that i denied, and another that i agreed to but no result yet! still hoping <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes, for events. shout out to any of my buddies from the homestuck shipping olympics who see this :p can you BELIEVE how long it has been

roleplaying is also kinda like co-writing fics sometimes honestly. i've got some threads that have been ongoing for years and took a lot of plotting and planning together uvu

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

how dare u ask me this. this is nearly impossible aughh but i'm going to say corvo/daud from dishonored

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

basically anything from my favourite games and such that are nonetheless overshadowed by current hyperfixation. i'm forever sad that most of my many, many dishonored fic ideas were from a time when i chronically could not finish anything

16. What are your writing strengths?

i don't know, i'm bad at acknowledging good things about myself lol characterization, i suppose, that tends to be what i get the most lovely comments about <3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

fluff, unless it's the resolution to angst lmfao i need to build up to it. drop me straight into a nothing scenario of fluff and i don't know what to DO. technical-wise, idk, descriptions i think

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

it certainly has its place and can be done well! but it's easy to mess it up, too. you need to make sure it's accurate and fitting for the scene, you need to avoid racist stereotyping, you need the story to still make sense and flow well. if the message isn't clear because most readers don't know the language, or have to keep looking it up / reading author notes, that's immersion-breaking imo. with fictional languages where much of the fanbase is familiar with the common words, though, no big deal i'd say

19. First fandom you wrote for?

honestly i think it was the cartoon, angry beavers lol i didn't know what's what i was doing, at the time. as far as serious, intentional stories, maybe firefly? or xmen?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

i cannot pick just one lol 4 is as low as ill go

previously linked Winter Chill and Summer Bloom: this is very hurt/comfort, my favourite thing, with a bunch of my other favourite things tossed in. touch-starvation, non-verbal character, characters getting away from the location of their suffering to heal in a better place, both physically and mentally, sweet slice of life stuff etc.

take these broken wings and learn to fly: more h/c! this one starts off heavy as hell and involves a lot of Process of Healing (to no ones surprise, at this point). healing has gotta be one of my favourite genders. also it's femslash.

Sight & Shadows: it's both plot- and character-driven, i'm happy with how i balanced both simultaneously. it's my vampire au, and other than the v:tm lore borrowing, it feels almost original to me. it's a rarepair, in an au--as niche as it gets, shaped a lot by the universe and story i put together for the whole series. it was a joy to create, because i truly did write this for ME. i wouldn't say any of my fics were written for others, per se, but i guess this one just felt different from the start. i wasn't anticipating an audience, i was just telling the story these characters needed, the way i like to do it. i had great friends supporting me through it, so i wasn't alone in the process or anything, it just felt the most like writing an original story than any of my other fics have

into the light of the dark black night: first of all, yes, 2/4 fics listed here are titled with lyrics from blackbird by the beatles. blackbird lyrics means intense feelings, that's just how it is. i've done it twice, and ill DO IT AGAIN. anyway, this one takes place in one of dbh's grimmest possible endings--the nuclear blast ending. i did a lot of research for this one, and also put a lot of thought into handling it with as much care as i think a concept like this requires. it's weighty, but hopeful. it has apocalypse elements, which i love. i got to do cyberpunky stuff as well. i added some of the elements i think dbh would have included if d@vid cage weren't a coward. i projected multiplicity onto some of the characters. i got to write north as the steadfast and successful leader of the revolution, as she deserves. blackbird fly <3

if you made it through all of that... thank you :>

and the template:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

#about #my fic #tag meme

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duck-in-a-spaceship · 1 year ago

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The Post Break-Up Box of Shame

WOO chapter two babey. This is it for this one, there's not gonna be a chapter three, but I might tack on some extra scenes! Tell me if there's anything else you want to see with this concept!!

Summary: Crowley's car is throwing fit, and the lesbians are here to save the day. As if he's going to let them.

Word Count: 2501

<<Previous

+++

Chapter 2: Some Bloody Conspiring

“Oh my, we were wondering if you two would be back,” Maggie was approaching him fairly rapidly, and Crowley made it his mission to approach the Bentley rapidly-er. “What on earth happened? Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, just peachy.” The door of the Bentley, which usually swung right open on his arrival, was suddenly stuck. “Come on you little- oh here, take this.” Crowley shoved the box of plants at her, and Maggie struggled to grab onto them in time, lurching forwards slightly to take hold.

“Careful!” she insisted, adjusting her grip on the plants so they didn’t fall.

“Right, yep, sorry about that. Would you stop throwing a fit?”

“Excuse me! I’m-”

“Oh not you,” Crowley told her, waving a hand dismissively. “This blasted door won’t open. Although, while you’re here, we should have a little chat- aha!” The door to the Bentley suddenly popped open, and Crowley cheerfully swung it aside.

“Yes, I wanted to talk to you too, actually.” Maggie offered out the plants to him, and Crowley took them, shoving them in the backseat.

“Right, right. Yeah, Muriel, the new angel at the bookshop? They’ve got no clue what they’re doing, quite frankly, when it comes to human things, so you really don’t have to worry about rent. She tried to get me to take it to Aziraphale, but obviously he doesn’t need it either-”

“Yes, Aziraphale, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“-so you can just hang on to it,” Crowley continued, completely ignoring her attempted interjection. He shut the door of the Bentley. “In fact you could probably go get what you already gave her, just tell her I said it was alright or something, tell them it’s some sort of human thing.”

“Crowley, I’m not really worried about the rent. I mean, thank you and all but… well but really I just wanted to talk to you?”

He reached out past her to open the door of the Bentley, which would preferably be followed by the steps of getting in the driver’s seat and speeding away. Ideally with some Queen playing, not any of that loverboy nonsense, but some good old Bohemian, or a ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ for the road. All of this was prevented by the fact that the door would. Not. Budge.

“Why?” he asked her sharply, tugging on the handle. “Have some more winning advice to give?”

Maggie winced, looking at Crowley pitifully as he continued to struggle with his car. “I’m guessing it didn’t go well then?”

“No.”

“Well… well what happened? Maybe it’s not all a lost cause, you know?”

Crowley scoffed, gave up on the handle to turn and face her. “Not a lost cause, right. Hey, just wondering, have you seen him at that bookshop lately? Or anywhere, really? Nah, right? Seems lost to me.” He rapped on the window. “Do you at least want to open this, or are you going to continue to be difficult?”

He mostly expected the Bentley to stay quiet, maybe a small part expected the window to indeed roll down. What Crowley was not expecting was for slow, soft classical music to start playing from the speakers. “Oh for fuck’s sake!”

“Hey!” some passerby shouted.

“Yeah, hey to you!” Crowley shouted back, looking up to see Nina crossing the street towards him. Maggie waved. He groaned. “Hello Nina, do you have anything large and heavy I could use to break-”

“No! I’m not going to help you throw your little tantrum out here.”

“Oh alright. Oh- great, thank you for that.” Crowley walked away, heading to try the trunk of the Bentley, which Maggie and Nina used as an opportunity to conspire.

“What’s gotten into him?” Crowley heard Nina ask, not at all quietly.

“Well,” Maggie started, at the very least trying to whisper. “He said it didn’t go well, when he tried to talk to Aziraphale.”

“Oo, what happened then?”

“I don’t know, he won’t say anything else about it.”

“Well, I suppose there’s nothing we can do then, hm?”

“Oh Nina, we can’t just ignore him. I know you know how rough heartbreak is, we should help him out.”

Crowley muttered a string of curse words at the Bentley, turning to whatever languages he fancied after he ran out of English ones. Nina sighed loudly enough for him to hear, and probably for all of heaven to hear as well.

“Crowley!” she shouted.

“What?” he demanded. The Bentley was still, no matter how hard he tried, refusing to let him in.

“You want to come inside and have something to drink?”

“Nah, I’m good. Was just heading out, really.”

Maggie leaned to look over at him. “Seems like it’s still jammed. Maybe you should call someone, and come inside while you wait,” she offered.

Crowley sighed, leaning against the Bentley, fingers tapping against the side of the car. “You,” he muttered to it. “You are going to have to pay for this later, you understand?” The classical music fell on a slow decrescendo until it stopped completely. Crowley tried the door again. No luck. “Yeah,” he called over to Nina and Maggie. “Yeah, alright, lead the damned way.”

===

Crowley stared at the ceiling of the record shop, eyes scanning over the various posters pasted there. His fingers were loosely curled around a mug of coffee and bourbon (although it could really be more accurately described the other way around) where his hand was splayed on the rug next to him. It was a nice rug, really, good and soft, so long as you ignored the headache-inducing waves of color and design.

“Well… I think that was awfully brave of you,” Maggie finally spoke up, finishing the silence that followed his sad little tale.

“Yeah, real brave,” Crowley agreed sarcastically. “Not brave enough though, was it? Cuz he still ran off to heaven.” He dragged a hand down his face and let it muffle his speech. “Couldn’t seem to get away fast enough.”

Another silence, during which he didn’t bother to look over and see what Maggie and Nina were doing. Probably more bloody conspiring. He understood their frustrations now, with all the poking around in their love like (necessary as it was). Now that the roles were all flipped, he’d very much just like to be left alone.

“Well, maybe he just needs some time. I mean, Maggie and I are still figuring things out, taking things nice and slow, because I just ended things with my old partner. Maybe after all of your heaven and hell nonsense, he just needs a bit of a break.”

“Then he would’ve taken a little break instead of running off to be the archangel of heaven.”

“I know but-” Maggie tried to intervene, but Crowley had actually decided he had more to say on that matter, unfortunately enough.

“Heaven!” he exclaimed, sitting up suddenly, bringing the mug with him as he stood, half-full contents sloshing around. “I know he’s always had a soft spot for the bastards, but I thought we were moving on from the heaven = good, hell = bad nonsense. They’re all homicidal idiots, you know?”

Crowley spun around to face Nina and Maggie, unfortunately spilling a bit of his drink onto the aforementioned carpet. Ah well, probably no one would notice. They were both staring at him with blank confusion.

“Alright,” Maggie started, with enough forced optimism Crowley could tell she really had to hype herself up for this conversation. “Alright, we might not know much about heaven and hell and archangels and what all that entails, at least not as much as we might have thought, but we do know at least a little bit about relationships and you two need to talk.”

Nina nodded sharply. “Can’t solve anything if you aren’t on the same page. Or the same planet for that matter. Not entirely sure where heaven is, but I’m pretty sure it’s not here.”

“It’s not,” Crowley confirmed, leaning back on one of the record shelves. “Don’t worry,” he added glumly.

“Right, well since you seem to know where it is-”

“I’m a demon!” Crowley interrupted, spreading his arms out with dramatic flourish. More of his drink splashed onto the carpet below, which earned him a glare from both Niana and Maggie, so he waved a hand to miracle it away. “I can’t just go waltzing up to heaven just because I fancy a little chat with my mates, now can I?”

(Crowley, of course, very much could do this. He’d proved as much when he put on a very nice outfit, commandeered an angel turned police officer, and poked around in all their stuff. However, he was hoping Nina and Maggie would sort of just take his word on it, because he was really trying to drop this particular conversation topic.)

“Well I don’t know!” Nina exclaimed, and Crowley got the sense that they were getting a bit fed up with all this angel-demon nonsense. He’d drink to that– he was getting pretty fed up with it himself. “I don’t know if you can, I’m not particularly sure what an archangel is, or who this metatron fellow is, or what exactly happened at the meeting, or what has even been going on. I have no goddamn clue. But what I do know is that you and Aziraphale are clearly head over heels for each other, practically married, and you need to get up off your asses and do something about it.”

Crowley took a sip from his cup, drained the whole thing actually, and then placed it on one of the shelves, carefully balanced. He’d been gearing himself up for a good shout, because if Nina got one, then he felt like he’d more than earned it. Unfortunately, standing on that ugly, but very comfortable carpet, leaning against shelves packed tight with unsold records, looking over at the two of them, Crowley found he wasn’t feeling very shout-y. Just plain wasn’t in the mood for it, much as he’d like to be.

“I think it’s a bit too late for that.”

Apparently no one had anything else they wanted to add.

Crowley tapped his shoe on the floor, wondered if the Bentley would be out of its mood if he decided now would be the time to drive away. He really just wanted to take a long, long nap.

“So, um, what are you going to do now?”

That was a good question, sadly enough. Crowley was getting tired of good questions; he wanted some real shitty ones. Muriel was good at asking shitty questions, maybe he should go talk to them again.

Instead he pulled his glasses off, rubbed his hand across his forehead, and looked up to the ceiling. “Dunno,” he said. “Sort of had a plan there with- we were the plan, you know? We were always the plan. For the last couple of millennia, we had our own side. And then if there was nothing else to do, hell usually kept me busy enough. Now there’s just a whole bunch of bloody nothing.”

Crowley decided then and there that he didn’t care if the Bentley was ready for him, he just needed to get out of that record shop. He shoved his glasses back on. “Then again, I’ll figure it out, don’t really have much of a choice I suppose.” Crowley headed for the door, turning his back on them as soon as he could. They started conspiring immediately, he could tell, but they were getting good enough at it that he had no clue what they actually said.

“Crowley, wait!” Maggie called, just as his hand was on the door. Gah, so close.

“What?” he demanded, or well, half a demand, half a whine, as he turned around.

“Well, I was just thinking, since Aziraphale is, um, taking a little break from Earth right now, and Muriel doesn’t really know what they’re doing, maybe you should help run the bookshop.”

Crowley snorted. “Yeah, for sure. Real bookshop-ist, I am. Now, I’ve really got to get going, you know. Plants to water, ducks to feed-”

“Oh come on now,” Nina interrupted. She crossed her arms, just to prove some point. Crowley wasn’t really sure what it was, but he was pretty sure it was working anyway. “I’m sure you know all the little particularities Aziraphale had about the place. And someone has to make sure no one actually sells the books, right?”

Crowley considered that for a moment. Sure, he’d already told Muriel that she wasn’t actually operating the kind of bookshop that sold things, but that could only go so far. And he hadn’t even gotten around to mentioning the organization system, or how you had to treat books so you didn’t mess them all up, or what was off-limits and what wasn’t, and someone was going to need to replace the fire extinguishers every so often.

“Yeah, alright, I’ll think on it,” Crowley said, trying to convey in tone how much he was not going to think on it. (He was absolutely going to think on it.) “But if that’s all…” he trailed off, giving either of them the chance to interrupt. “Great, see ya around, thanks for the drinks.”

They both waved as he finally opened the door, each calling after him with their own goodbyes.

“Drive safe!”

“Stop by sometime.”

And as the door swung shut, Crowley looked over his shoulder to see they were already, indeed, conspiring.

===

The Bentley sat waiting for Crowley when he got back, and the door opened without a single threat, which was a welcome surprise. “Well, thank you, you dick,” he muttered softly. Crowley slid into the driver’s seat, and slammed it shut.

He just sat there for another moment. The plants were probably throwing a fit in the backseat, not at all happy to be back in the car after adjusting nicely to their cushy bookshop life. Crowley drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, stared out at the road, watched as the rain began to trickle down. It left misty drops on the windshield, like stars, like alpha centauri, like the pillars of creation, like all those galaxies, oh so long ago.

Crowley groaned, let his forehead slam into the steering wheel. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the glovebox pop open, and out spilled a wave of caramel candies. “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, straightening back up. “I get it. I…” he sighed. “I miss him too, you sensitive old sot.” He sighed, dragged a hand down his face. “Alright, come on.”

The bell over the door rang out cheerfully, announcing Crowley’s entrance into the bookshop. Unsurprisingly, not much had changed since he was last there. Muriel peaked out from behind a shelf, their two hats still wobbling precariously on their head. “Oh, hi Crowley!”

Crowley put down his box of plants, and looked over at them. “Muriel, great.” He cleared his throat, grinned at her. “I’d like to apply for a job.”

#good omens #good omens 2 #fanfiction #duck writes #ao3 #i love making the bentley an actual character #it misses its other dad :(((((#again i might write a little follow up to this #i like the idea of muriel sitting crowley down and forcing him to do a job interview #before they're willing to 'hire' him #“i'd like to apply for a job”#“okay great! i'll see when i can fit you in for an interview!”#“what”#crowley's like YOU KNOW ME???#and muriel is offended he thinks she'd show FAVORITISM

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