#yes a duplex can be an apartment. so long as it is not a house of its own

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

this really is the piss on the poor website huh

[poledancingdinos]

Hostile Territory - Chapter 28

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)

Word count: 2.9K

Warnings: None for this chapter

Catch up: Series Masterlist

Taglist: @amberangel112 @utterlyhopeful-fics @marantha @kebabgirl67 @littleone65 @omgkatinka @luclittlepond @athenepromachos @enchantedbytomandhenry @narnianaos @geralts-yenn @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @sillyrabbit81 @summersong69 @identity2212 @liecastillo @lena-banena @mrsevans90 @confessionbrain-writings @eclecticfashionbookszipper @happydistraction @hannah9921 @valacircareads @toooldforobsessions @kingliam2019 @rosecentury @wa-ni @secretdream2 @missemrose @shellyshellshell @winter2112rose

Masterlist

Day 558

“Watch the door handle,” Sy instructed, peeking around the side of the fridge he was holding.

“Yes, Nathan,” Jackson huffed from the other end, “I’ll watch the handle just like I did with the stove and with the washer and with the dryer.”

“It’s my shit, smartass, I can tell ya to be careful as much as I damn please.”

Jackson paused, adjusting his grip and taking a second to look behind him to make sure there was nothing that might cause him to trip and drop a three-hundred pound brick on himself.

“I’m helpin’ ya move in exchange for pizza and beer. If ya don’t like how I work we can go back home and let ya finish all on your own.”

It was an empty threat but it was enough to get Sy to check his tone. This was his brother he was speaking to, not a subordinate.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, I’m just used to barkin’ orders and havin’ to repeat them about a thousand times before it sticks.”

Seeing as Sy had never lived off base until a few months before, he had never experienced the joys of moving. Had he known it would be such a bitch, he would have held out on getting an apartment and moved straight into a house. He hadn’t minded the duplex he’d been renting but after just a few weeks of scrolling through house listings to see what was out there he found one that he simply couldn’t pass up. And so, he had to move all his newly purchased furniture and appliances and hope he didn’t cause too much damage.

The original plan was to hire movers and avoid having to deal with it but he quickly realized that most of them charged a flat rate of four hours of work no matter how long the job was. At over a hundred dollars an hour plus taxes and tip, that meant he would be paying upwards of five hundred dollars for what would likely take only an hour of loading and unloading.

He had never fully furnished the apartment, sticking to the essentials and planning to buy the rest as he found a need for it. Any clothes, kitchenware and other personal items he owned only took up a handful of boxes so in the end, he’d resolved to do it on his own.

It had been pure luck that his brothers were available to come help. When they heard Sy bought a house they were both ready to hop on a plane and come help with whatever painting, cleaning or moving was needed. The offer had taken him by surprise but their enthusiasm had also been heartwarming. He’d needed the reminder that he was still a part of the Syverson family despite having been AWOL for the better part of the last thirteen years.

Sy’s phone went off in his back pocket, alerting him to an incoming phone call.

“Put this down for a second.”

After carefully lowering the fridge to the ground, Jax raised his arms over his head, wincing as he stretched out his back. Yeah, they’d officially done enough heavy lifting for the day. Sy would already be feeling it in the morning and, from there, they would be able to just slide the fridge into place anyway. 

Sy didn’t recognize the number on the incoming call but there was a possibility that Austin had run into trouble on the way back with the last set of boxes and had had to use someone else’s phone. 

“Hello?”

“Sy? This is Caleb, Leah’s brother.”

Freezing for a second, Sy shot a panicked look at Jackson who immediately stood up straighter as he picked up on Sy’s apprehension. 

“Yeah, hi. Is uh… Is everything alright?”

“Oh, yeah, nothing to worry about. I mean, I haven’t heard from Leah in a while but you know how it is with those things. No news is good news.”

Sy’s shoulders dropped in relief and he slumped back against the kitchen counter. It had also been a few months since he’d heard from Leah which, combined with the home buying process and the move, had apparently put him more on edge than he’d realized. 

“What can I do for you, Caleb?”

“I was actually wondering if you were available to meet up today. You’re stationed at Fort Carson now right?”

Looking around the house at the scattered furniture and boxes, Sy hesitated. “Uh, today’s not great for me. I’m sort of in the process of movin’ into a new house.”

“No shit? Where at?”

“Palmer Lake.”

“Not too far from Denver then. Would it be too much of an imposition if I came by? I have something from Leah and she made me promise to get it to you as soon as possible.”

With everything going on, it didn’t even occur to Sy to ask why Leah didn’t just send whatever it was to him directly. He just hoped it wasn’t another one of her drawings because he was not prepared to have that conversation with Caleb nor did he want his brothers to see his girlfriend in that sort of intimate position. Drawing or otherwise.

“Sure. You uh…” Was it weird to have his would be brother-in-law over to meet his siblings? They were nearly the same age and he was pretty sure they’d get along like a house on fire but was it weird for them to meet without Leah around? “You wanna stay for dinner? My brothers are in town to help with the move and I owe them some pizza for the labor.”

“Yeah, why not. Text me the address and I’ll be there in the next hour?”

“Will do.”

Almost exactly an hour later, Caleb pulled into the drive. Sy was outside unloading the last of the paint and other supplies they had picked up from the hardware store after Austin got back with the boxes.

He dropped down from the truck bed, shaking Caleb’s hand in greeting.

“Good to see you again.”

“You too. I’m sorry to intrude on your time with your family but Leah really did insist I get out to you as soon as possible and, well, you know how she is.”

Yes, Sy did know. That was one of the things he loved about Leah. Once that woman made her mind up, there was no changing it and she was not afraid to stand her ground. He was fully aware that her stubbornness would probably come back to bite him in the ass one day but he didn’t care so long as it meant she was still in his life.

Caleb walked around to the back seat of his crossover, reaching inside for a moment before straightening and taking a step back.

With an excited yip, a large ball of black and tan fur exited the car and ran straight towards Sy.

“Holy shiet,” he said under his breath.

Gone was the scrawny pup he had known on base and in her place was a fully grown German Shepard. Of course, Aika didn’t make the distinction and jumped on Sy who could do nothing but brace himself to catch the now hundred pound canine.

She whined and barked as she squirmed and licked every inch of his face that was within reach. The twins, hearing the commotion, came out to see what all the fuss was about.

“Nice dog,” Austin called. “He yours?”

“Nope,” Caleb smirked, resting his hands in his jacket pockets. “She’s Sy’s.”

Sy gaped at Caleb, putting Aika down to greet the new humans. “You serious?”

The other man nodded. “If you want her. Leah asked me to take care of her while we got through all the import paperwork, the quarantine and the spaying but she’s good to go now. I have all of her gear in the trunk, just say the word.”

Sy’s eyes landed on Aika who was now paws up, tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth, and getting belly rubs from both twins at the same time as they cooed at her.

“Fuck, of course I want her. How the hell did Leah even find her?”

“Total fluke from what I understood,” Caleb shrugged. “She’d set up a plan to send her over if ever you guys had to move bases but then you were both reassigned and the other CO had already thrown her out.”

A wave of anger came over Sy as he remembered Captain Dickhead’s words about putting Aika out of her misery. Thank fuck whoever it was didn’t share his complete lack of empathy.

“So anyway, Leah’s team was sent back to your old base and they found her wandering out in the middle of nowhere. They were only there for a couple of days but some guy called Nielsen volunteered to look out for her until the people from the local shelter could pick her up and handle everything from there.”

Sy shook his head at the ridiculousness of it all. Leave it to Leah to save Aika not once, but twice. And to enlist Nielsen, of all people, to help her.

“Come on,” he said, clapping Caleb on the shoulder. “I’ll introduce you then we can order some food.”

As they approached, Aika got back to her feet and circled around Sy a few times before coming to stand on his right. His hand instinctively went to stroke the fur at the scruff of her neck and he was surprised to find that he barely had to lean down to reach her now.

“It seems Aika here has already introduced herself so, boys, this is my girlfriend’s brother, Caleb. Caleb, these are my little brothers Austin and Jackson.”

“If you’re strugglin’ to tell us apart, just remember that I’m the better lookin’ one,” Jackson joked as he shook Caleb’s hand.

“With that rat’s nest on your face, how is he supposed to judge which of us is better lookin’?”

“Hey! Ya didn’t give Nate any shit about his beard when we saw him last fall.”

“Well, clearly he could pull it off considering he came back from Iraq with a girlfriend. From what I’ve heard, your girl can no longer kiss you without giggling.”

Jackson looked up at the sky, shaking his head. “Dear God, why did you have to make our wives best friends? I spent nine months with Austin’s junk floatin’ in my face, I think I’ve earned a bare minimum of privacy.”

“Is this what I have to look forward to if Leah is ever around long enough to meet my sisters-in-law?” Sy asked Caleb, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched his brothers bicker back and forth.

“Na, you’ll be safe,” he reassured, bending down to ruffle the fur around Aika’s neck. “Leah’s lips are sealed tighter than a nun’s legs,” he cooed, earning himself a lick on the cheek.

It was a relief to hear. As much as Sy would love for everyone to get to know Leah and welcome her into the family, he didn’t want the wives to know every intimate detail of his and Leah’s relationship.

“They, on the other hand,” Caleb continued, tipping his head towards the twins while he wiped the dust off his jeans, “are absolutely fucked because that means that everyone trusts Leah to confess their darkest secrets to. One bottle of wine and she’ll have blackmail material for a year.”

With a smile on his face, Sy ushered everyone inside. The three brothers had managed to put all the furniture in the correct rooms before Caleb’s arrival and the fridge was now plugged in and packed with beer so they were free to spend the evening just hanging out.

Aika had her nose to the ground, inspecting every inch of her new home. Her tail wagged so hard that Sy was almost afraid she would hurt herself by smacking it into things.

He couldn’t wait to watch her explore the ninety-five hundred square foot backyard.

Day 211

Leah wasn’t aware that Sy and Caleb had had a little bro moment at the cabin in which Caleb had invited Sy to lunch until she received a text from him stating that he would see them both at noon. When questioned about it, Sy confessed that her brother had overheard his family tiff and somehow come out of it with more respect for Sy.

“So, Cap,” Caleb began once the waitress finished taking their orders, “you’re a lifer I take it?”

“Yeah, I guess I am. Although I don’t really think it can be considered a lifetime if I can technically retire starting at thirty-eight.”

“Shit, I chose the wrong career. At thirty-eight I’ll only be like seven years out of residency. Doctors don’t get to retire at thirty-eight.”

Doctors didn’t get their education bankrolled by the US government either. Med students usually graduated with crippling debt that some of them likely didn’t even finish paying off by the time they were forty. It was one of the biggest reasons Leah had insisted Caleb take half of the inheritance.

It was backwards in many ways. Doctors paid the big bucks to learn how to save lives. One could argue that soldiers got paid to learn how to take them. Sure it was usually in the name of protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves but anyone who spent time on deployment knew that the world was not that black and white.

“That’s what happens when you enlist the day you get your high school diploma. But it’s not like I’d just just leave the military and never work again so it wouldn’t be a true retirement.”

The waitress returned with their drinks and Caleb thanked her before taking a greedy sip of his coffee.

“I thought you needed a degree to be an officer,” he said, reaching for a sugar packet. “Isn’t that why Niki went to college before OCS?”

Sy took a sip of his own drink before answering the question. “I started one online in my third year. It’s actually almost a benefit since I accumulated time in service while doin’ it which would make me eligible for promotions faster than someone who joined directly as an officer like Niki.”

“Jesus, I can’t imagine working full time and doing my undergraduate on the side.”

Once again, Sy felt a spark of validation he had never thought he needed before meeting Leah. Sitting in front of him was a literal doctor who had gone through almost a decade of post secondary education and he was impressed by Sy’s ability to get a degree while enlisted.

It made Sy wonder if maybe people didn’t see him as as much of a fuck up as he thought himself to be.

He’d always compared himself to his sisters who had aimed to achieve the best college education in the hopes of getting into high-powered careers. They had basically grown up striving to be everything their parents—particularly their mother—were not.

But then there were the twins, both of whom had gotten married and had their first kid (even a second in Jackson’s case) by age twenty-three, worked blue-collar jobs, and were dedicated family men just like their father. It had never made them any less successful in their family’s eye.

Thankfully, Caleb’s focus throughout the meal was not solely on interrogating his little sister’s boyfriend and the conversation moved on to lighter topics. Before they knew it, Caleb’s lunch break was almost over and Sy left him and Leah to say goodbye while he went to the bathroom and paid the bill at the counter.

“I need you to do something for me,” Leah announced when Sy was out of earshot.

“Okay?” Caleb shrugged his jacket on over the scrubs he was still wearing. He’d walked straight to the restaurant from the hospital and had to go straight back.

“Sy can’t know, okay? I don’t want him to get his hopes up, but I spoke to Terry the other day—”

“Terry?” he interrupted, much to Leah’s annoyance. “Dad’s friend from the shelter?”

Leah shot a quick glance over her shoulder to see that Sy was out of the bathroom and standing by the cash register with a card in his hand. Couldn’t Caleb see this was not a time for questions? 

“Yeah, he might be able to help the dog me and Sy rescued come into the States,” she explained, with renewed urgency.

“And what’s gonna happen if she’s here and you’re both there?” 

“Well, Terry could try to find her a foster but I was sort of hoping you would take her.”

“Leah—”

“I know, I know,” she whisper shouted.

She already knew what he was going to say. ‘His apartment was no place for such a big dog.’ ‘His work schedule was not well suited to caring for an animal.’ ‘Dogs were a lifetime commitment and adopting one shouldn’t be done as a favor.’

“Look, we can keep her on base as long as we’re there but if we have to move we’d be obligated to leave her behind. As a stray, she’s sure to either die from starvation, dehydration or to be shot. I’d rather she be here and get adopted by another family than know she’s gonna die.”

“You ready?” Sy asked as he approached.

Leah shot Caleb a pleading look as he pulled her into his arms for a hug. Against his better judgment, he quietly agreed, knowing there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his sister.

Chapter 29

[dorefasolsido]

31. Layers

Layer 1: The Basics

Name: Mila

Age: 28

Birthday: 23rd July

Gender: Female

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Layer 2: Your Family

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

One younger sister.

Do you have any pets?

A cat.

Do you still live with your parents?

Not really.

Do you have any stepparents?

Nope.

How many cousins do you have?

Closest cousins, four.

Layer 3: Your Friends

Who is your best friend?

Sam.

Who have you been friends with the longest?

I guess Millie from elementary school.

What do you like to do with your friends?

Go to gigs and concerts, sit in cafes and chat, travel, take walks, visit new places...

Do you have more friends online or in real life?

Now in real life. I used to have a bunch of online friends in high school though. Only one of those is still in my life, but she's not my online friend anymore, now she's a long-distance friend since we actually met.

What is a good way to make friends with others?

You're asking the wrong person, lol. I have no clue how to make friends or what I did when I made the ones I have. I'm always a bit shocked when people actually enjoy my company.

Layer 4: Your Home

Do you live in a home, apartment, duplex, trailer, etc?

An apartment.

How many rooms are there in your house?

Two.

Is your home large or small?

Small.

What is your favorite room in your house, and why?

Hmm, probably the living room. It's the most spacious room and I spend most of the time there.

Do you prefer having people over to your house, or would you rather go to theirs?

I prefer visiting people than hosting them lol. It's a nice change of pace too.

Layer 5: Can You

Can you fold your tongue into the taco shape?

I think so?

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees?

Yes.

Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue?

Lol no way.

Can you hold up your end of a physical fight?

I highly doubt it.

Can you do any yo-yo tricks?

Probably not.

Layer 6: Who

Who inspires you the most, and why?

Lately, BTS. Obviously I don't know them, but I love their message and strive to be as kind, thoughtful, and caring as they are.

Who helps you maintain your sanity?

Refer to the answer above lol

Who do you go to most often for advice?

I don't normally ask for advice even when I probably should tbh. I guess if I really felt like I couldn't do without it, I'd go to my best friend.

Who knows you better than you know yourself?

I don't think anyone does.

Who is someone that you would die or put your life on the line for, no questions asked?

My sister and my best friend.

Layer 7: Do you

Do you still eat sandwiches without the crusts?

No, I love the crust. Always loved it.

Do you typically finish your meal at a restaurant, or need to take a container home?

Usually I do, but sometimes we go to these big family meals and order way too much. Then we bring food home.

Do you pull an Oreo apart in order to eat it?

Depends on the mood.

Do you read a lot of gossip magazines?

Nah, are they even a thing anymore?

Do you make friends easily?

Not at all. I'm easy-going enough, I just struggle to push past acquaintanceship into a friendship. I don't like opening up, have avoidant attachment, and generally don't come across as instantly friendly or charming. Sooo yeah, not the best combo for making friends.

Layer 8: How Many?

How many people live in your house with you?

Here in this flat, just me and my sister.

How many pets have you had in your lifetime?

I've had a rabbit and now a cat.

How many tries does it take you to become successful at something?

Depends on the thing, but I usually grasp things pretty quickly.

How many meals do you eat a day?

One or two.

How many people can you honestly tolerate?

Idk, I can tolerate plenty of people.

Layer 9: How

How do you typically get to school or work?

I work from home, so I just get up and grab my laptop. Sometimes I go to a cafe for a change of pace, but that's it.

How do you deal with a breakup?

I mean, you just kinda have to go through it, right? Feel what you're feeling and ride it out. I tend to distract myself, that's how I deal with all unpleasant feelings. Eventually it all dulls down.

How do you like to help others?

Hmmm well I like to listen to people. That doesn't mean I'm any good at actual emotional support or giving advice, but I can definitely listen.

How do you know when you’ve found “the one”?

I don't think it's something you know, it's more like a feeling. I don't have a really good answer to this since I haven't found the one and I'm not sure I believe in the concept either, but those times that I thought I did, it was just a feeling that this person really gets you in some fundamental way and you get them. You can be seemingly totally different and maybe even disagree on a bunch of things, but something inside just clicks.

But anyway, as I said, I might be wrong.

How do you sleep in bed?

I sleep half on my side, half on my stomach without a pillow.

Layer 10: What

What do you think happens when we die?

I don't know. I personally hope for reincarnation and that makes the most sense to me.

What do you do if there’s no toilet paper left on the roll and you’re already peeing?

I get up and get some, nothing else I can do.

What do you eat most often?

Probably chicken in any form.

What toys did you enjoy most as a child?

Dolls, Barbies, I don't know, all sorts of toys.

What do you do if you witness someone being awful to someone else?

I mean, it depends. But I'm unlikely to do anything if it's two people I don't know. Unless it's like, seriously crossing the line.

Layer 11: Where

Where is your favorite place to eat out?

This sushi restaurant that I always go to, but tbh, the other weekend my sister and I went to a Korean restaurant and oh my god, it was heavenly. That one's quickly climbing the ranks.

Where is the place that has the best ice cream in your area?

I actually have no clue where I can get good ice cream here.

Where did you meet your current or last significant other?

It wasn't a significant other per se, but we met at university.

Where can you be found at 7 PM. typically?

Probably at home or German class.

Where can you find the best French fries?

I don't know.

Layer 12: When

When did you find out the truth about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy?

I don't remember, but I don't think my parents ever lied about any of that lol. I think they always straight up told us they were the ones buying presents.

When do you typically fall asleep?

At around 4 AM.

When was the last time that someone paid you a compliment?

Hmm Saturday, Sophie complimented my outfit.

When do you feel most comfortable?

At home.

When did you last go to the bathroom?

A few hours ago, I don't remember.

Layer 13: Why

Why do you enjoy taking surveys so much?

It's fun and kind of therapeutic. I don't know, I get to ask myself questions I might not ask otherwise. Helps me with bad mood. Good place to pour my heart and soul since I don't really have another outlet for that.

Why do people gossip so much?

I guess out of boredom, innate human need for drama, as a distraction, idk, plenty of reasons.

Why can’t humans fly?

Gravity.

Why aren’t you doing something else right now?

It's very late, I'm done with my work, and I just want to chill before bed.

Why is the sky blue?

Well which colour would you prefer it to be?

Layer 14: If...

If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on?

Ah, what wouldn't I do... I'd travel the world. Give some to my parents and my sister, give more to charity, and idk. I don't think I'd buy anything extravagant, but you never know until you actually come into that money.

If you found out someone was cheating on you, would you ever take them back?

No. I mean, what would be the point? There would be no trust there anymore, and I struggle with trust as it is. If I decided to open up to someone and let them into my life and they betrayed me, that would be it.

If you found a wallet with cash in the street, including identification, would you turn it in? Why or why not?

I would because someone stole my wallet once and my ID was in there. They probably took the cash and threw the rest away, but getting a new ID and replacing bank cards and stuff was so annoying. No one should have to deal with it.

If you could have any food right now, what would you like? 

Chocolate.

If you found out that the world was going to end tomorrow, how would you spend your last day?

I mean, I don't know. There's not much I could do, so I guess I'd just take a day off and chill.

Layer 15: Firsts

When did you lose your first tooth?

I don't remember, I think a bit before I started school or so.

Who was your first teacher that you ever had?

Mirjana was her name.

When did you first learn how to ride a bike?

Again, I was in preschool, so like 4-5.

When was the first time you had sex?

Haven't.

Did your first birthday have a theme to it?

Uhh, I don't think so. I know where they celebrated it, but I think it was just a gathering of my parents' friends and a big party that I didn't want to be a part of.

Layer 16: Lasts

Last person you texted: My best friend.

Last drink you sipped: Water.

Last time you rode a bike: A little over a month, I think. Maybe almost two.

Last time you swam in a pool: Hmm, sometime in the summer. Like, July, August.

Last person you hugged: I have no clue now tbh.

Layer 17: Favorites

Favorite Color: Blue, any shade.

Favorite Season: Spring.

Favorite Shape: Hmmm, I like spirals if that counts

Favorite Letter: K

Favorite Number: 11

Layer 18: This or That

Pepsi or Coke?

I honestly don't care either way.

Movies or Television?

Ummm, movies?

Phone or Tablet?

Phone.

Fruits or Vegetables?

Fruits.

Animals or Humans?

Animals any day.

Layer 19: Which

Which Poke’mon is your favorite?

Psyduck lol

Which day of the week is your favorite?

I'm still a big fan of Friday/Saturday, even if technically now I work whenever, which means I also work weekends sometimes.

Which birthday celebration was the most memorable for you?

Like, my own? Hm hm, the only one that comes to mind is my 26th birthday when Chris organized the whole surprise day for me. Half of what he planned didn't work, but it was the thought that counted lol. It was a really sweet idea.

Which holiday is your favorite?

Lately, Halloween. We don't technically celebrate it, but I'm starting to enjoy the vibe even more than the Christmas vibe.

Which shoe do you put on first?

I think right but I don't know for sure.

Layer 20: Love Life/Relationships

What is the name of your first love?

Dimitrije. But that wasn't love, that was a crush.

How many times can you honestly say you’ve been in love?

Honestly? Never.

Have you ever been in a relationship before that was abusive in any way?

Weeeeell... Not abusive, but it was a very toxic situation.

Have you ever been engaged or married before?

No.

Do you have any children?

Nope nope.

Layer 21: Jobs, Dreams, & Goals

What did you want to be when you grew up (as a little kid)?

Sooo many things, but the main ones were a chocolate factory owner and a writer.

What do you aspire to be now? What interests you?

I still aspire to be a writer, and I kind of am, just not the kind I thought I would be. But I think little Mila wouldn't be totally unhappy.

What is the most recent goal you’ve achieved?

Oh, I translated a book for an actual publishing company. That will actually be published with my name on it as a translator. I can still hardly believe it, tbh. Can't wait to actually see it.

What is a goal you are still striving to reach?

I don't know. I guess I still want to be a fiction writer, but I'm not sure I can do it.

Have you ever won any sort of awards before? If so, for what?

Yeah, just school competition stuff. I was always a little nerd.

Layer 22: Opinions & Beliefs

Pro-life or pro-choice?

Pro-choice through and through.

Were you raised with any sort of religious background? If so, then what?

No. I mean, officially we are Orthodox Christians, but no, my family is comprised of atheists and agnostics.

Democrat, Republican, or Independent?

I'm not American, but I'm generally democratically oriented.

For or against the death penalty?

Against. I understand the arguments for in certain situations, but I don't see how death penalty is a proper penalty. Like, sure leading up to it maybe, but once they're dead, they're dead. There's no more atonement and no more guilt and no more anything. I always felt like it's letting them off too easy.

Thoughts on assisted suicide?

Well it's complicated and I'm not informed enough, but I can understand it in some situations.

Layer 23: Currently/Today/Present

What day is it?

24th October, 2023.

What’s the weather like outside?

I don't know, probably chilly by now. It's been clear.

What have you eaten?

Gyros earlier and some apples.

Did you run any errands?

Hmm, no errands, but I did complete plenty of work-related tasks.

What time is it?

2:50 AM

Layer 24: Yesterday

Did you have a work shift?

Not a shift, but I was working.

Did you eat out anywhere?

Nope.

Was it snowing?

Nope, too early.

Who did you last say goodnight to?

My sister.

Did anything unusual happen?

I don't think so.

Layer 25: Tomorrow

Do you have to go to school/class?

No school for me anymore.

Does this day have any sort of significance to you?

Hm, no.

What is a chore that needs to get done?

I'm not sure...

Will you hang out with friends?

No, but I'll have a small coworker gathering.

What time will you be expected to be awake by?

By 11 AM.

Layer 26: Have You Ever

Performed a magic trick successfully?

Not a magic trick, but I know one card trick that's pretty easy to do.

Sat or laid on a rooftop and looked at the stars?

Actually yes, in Germany.

Walked around with your underwear on inside out or backwards all day without realizing it?

I don't know.

Touched a snake?

Nope.

Been bitten by an animal? If so, what animal?

Well, my cat playfully bites me.

Layer 27: School Life

Are preschool and kindergarten mandatory where you live?

Hmm, I'm not sure. I think preschool isn't because my sister didn't go, but I'm not totally sure.

Were you or anyone you knew homeschooled?

Nope.

Did you attend public or private school?

Public.

Were you bullied in school, popular, or somewhere in-between?

I was in between, far from popular, but not really bullied. More like ignored.

What is the highest level of education that you completed?

MA in English.

Layer 28: Your Appearance

Eye Color: Dark brown.

Hair Color: Right now, a mix of purple with a dash of brown. I need to redye it soon.

Height: 163 cm.

Weight: I have no clue, haven't weighed myself in a while. Probably between 50 and 60 kg.

Do you have freckles. moles, beauty marks, or birthmarks - and where?

Birthmarks here and there.

Layer 29: Electronics, Internet, & Social Media

How much time do you spend on the internet per day?

Loads. I work online, I go online for fun, I keep in touch with my foreign friends online.

Which social media platforms do you belong to?

Instagram, and that's about it now. Idk if YT counts. Or Tumblr.

When’s the last time you replaced the batteries in your television remote?

No clue.

Are you more likely to stream movies and shows on your laptop, or cast them to your television?

Definitely TV.

Do you have an e-reader, or do you prefer actual books?

I prefer actual books, but I have a Kindle and it comes in handy sometimes.

Layer 30: Are You

Are you still in school?

Nope.

Are you a member of the LGBTQ+ community?

Yes.

Are you looking forward to anything coming soon?

Yeah, the book fair, Halloween. Trip to Romania.

Are you dreading anything coming soon?

I'm slightly dreading tomorrow's work thingy, but that's just social anxiety speaking.

Are you gullible or naive?

I don't think so, but I guess people in my life should be a judge of that.

Layer 31: Does

Does your workplace make you feel like you can never take a day off without feeling guilty about it?

Nah. They're pretty chill about it all as long as you meet the deadlines.

Does someone currently hold the key to your heart?

Nope.

Does anyone out there hate you?

I can't imagine anyone caring enough to hate me. Well, I can actually imagine it for one person, but I don't think even she hates me. I think we'll just always be left with this weird weird relationship.

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Yes, because I don't have any real experience, plus I'm ace. And people can be so weird about both things. So I don't mention either.

Does crying make you feel less strong?

I mean, not when I'm just crying by myself. Then it's like whatever. But if I can't control myself around others, which almost never happens, then yes, I feel like a total loser.

Layer 32: Would You

Do the Polar Bear Plunge?

Ooh, I just looked up what it is. We have something similar here, but I don't think I'd be particularly inclined to do it.

Ever try to walk across a room blindfolded?

Sure, why not. It's like that game we used to play as children, when one wears a blindfold and tries to catch the others in the room.

Swim with sharks?

I'd like to be in one of those cages they lower among sharks.

Go into outer space, given the chance?

Yes.

Go out in public, looking how you do right now?

Sure. I mean, I'm pretty sure I looked worse in public lol. And tbh, the wonderful thing I've realized is that no one cares and even when they do, it doesn't affect me in any way at all.

Layer 33: Pets/Animals

Do you have any pets? If so, what type, and their names...

I have a cat named Lucifer.

If not, what type of pet have you always wanted?

Well I'd like an owl, but I'm okay with just a cat.

What is your favorite animal?

Cats. Like, all types, big cats, small cats, you name it.

Do you think it is cruel to have circus animals?

Yes.

How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? How often do you scoop the litterbox, if you have a cat?

My cat lives with my parents so I don't actually do that. I think they do it very often though, because he's very fussy about cleanliness lol.

Layer 34: Food

What is your favorite breakfast item?

Hmm, I just like pastries and stuff. Or mini pizzas my mum makes sometimes.

What is your favorite kind of dessert?

Chocolateeee. Anything with it.

Do you eat all three meals everyday?

Definitely not. It happens sometimes when I'm at home with parents though.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without food?

I'm not sure. Not too long.

What do you like to eat when you are feeling sick?

Well I'd rather avoid it completely then.

Layer 35: Past

Does your past ever come back to haunt you at times?

It does sometimes, but the future is what really causes anxiety.

What is one of your favorite memories of the past?

Hmm, oh I have loads of those. But I guess I'll go with one that I can't say was too happy for me at the time, but I somehow fondly look on it now.

Basically, there was a bombing in my country when I was around 3-4 years old. Long story short, we had to hide in shelters and my dad went into the army and I think he was gone for a few months. My sister was just born at that time, only a few months old.

Anyway, I vividly remember that one day, when the situation calmed down, my dad returned while we were setting up a bed in the living room. He just showed up in the doorway, still dressed like a soldier, and I think he got quite a tan and was skinnier than before. I guess being so young as I was, I just kind of assumed he wasn't going to return ever again because I was totally confused. Mum thought I didn't recognize him at first because I wasn't immediately excited, but I did, only I was like ??? why are you here?

I don't know why I like this memory so much, but it always comes to mind for these sort of questions.

What is something that you used to do in the past, but no longer do?

Go to school, I guess.

If you could have a meal with someone from the past, who would it be, and what would you ask them?

Grandma. I would like to get to know her better, she died when I was only 7.

Which historical time period would you like to go back to and check out?

Middle Ages lol. I'd die immediately but hey.

Layer 36: Future

Do you think you will ever get married one day?

Nah. Even if I find someone which is highly highly unlikely, I don't want to get married. If anything, it would be cool to have like a super close friend to live with and travel with, and everyone thinks you're together, but in reality, there's no actual romance going on. That kind of an arrangement would be totally up my alley.

Do you plan on ever getting a different job in the future, or are you happy with the one you’ve got?

For now I'm happy. We'll see how that pans out.

What age do you plan to retire at? Or do you plan on working til you’re dead?

I'll be working until I'm dead one way or another. People can barely survive on the retirement in my country.

What is something on your bucket list worth mentioning?

Japan, BTS concert.

If given the opportunity to see how your future plays out, would you take it, or no?

My own future? No. The future of humanity? Absolutely.

Layer 37: Hygiene

How often do you shower?

Every day, or in the winter every second day.

How often do you brush your teeth?

Twice a day.

Do you actually iron any of your clothes?

Only my shirts when they get super wrinkly. Otherwise, most of my clothes doesn't really need ironing.

How often do you do laundry?

Hmm, about once a week or so.

How long do you use a bath towel before switching it out?

I don't know, a few times.

Layer 38: Clothing, Makeup, & Style

Do you wear nail polish? If so, how often do you paint your nails?

I don't normally. I've only done it a few times to switch things up a bit and because my sister was in the mood to do it for me.

How would your describe your sense of style?

Pretty casual with a dash of alternative.

Are there any popular trends that you do not find appealing?

Well yeah, but lately I've been actually enjoying most fashion that I see.

Where do you typically buy your clothing from?

Idk, just wherever.

What sorts of accessories do you wear/use?

Only two bracelets. Plus earrings and two ear piercings.

Layer 39: Hobbies

Do you still color, even as an adult?

Yees, I went a few weeks ago to this anime-themed cafe for a colouring event and it was the most therapeutic time ever.

Do you/would you like to crochet, knit, cross-stitch, etc?

Not particularly.

What’s the last thing you crafted all by yourself?

I'm not really sure.

Do you use Pinterest at all?

No.

What’s the last thing that you cooked or baked?

I also don't cook. But I did fry some chicken last, I think.

Layer 40: Dislikes

List some of your pet peeves here.

Tomatoes in sandwiches. People who constantly talk over others. I feel like there's something else important that I'm forgetting.

What are some things that annoy you about yourself?

Ooh, where do I begin... That I still care a bit too much about other people's opinions, that I'm a people pleaser to the max, I overthink and doubt myself constantly, I can't stick to literally any resolutions I make, and lately, I take on way too much work and then end up literally feeling like I can't breathe from the amount of tasks I need to do.

Is there anyone out there who you actually hate? Who?

Not really.

What is a feeling that you dislike?

Loneliness.

Do you get some ugly road rage while driving?

Nah, I'm a pretty calm driver.

Layer 41: Random

Have you ever successfully pogo’ed on a pogo stick?

Nope.

Have you ever mastered the jump rope?

I have when I was a kid. I think I could do it now too, but I'd need some practice to get back into it.

Do you know what it feels like to be truly happy?

Hmm... I think so. But I think that true happiness can only be experienced in fleeting moments. Otherwise, I can be content, but there's always something weighing on the back of my mind.

Is it winter in your part of the world right now?

Not yet.

What’s your favorite type of survey, and why?

I like themed surveys. And also the ones that dig a bit deeper.

Layer 42: Music

What are some of your favorite genres of music?

Rock, metal, alternative in general. Lately some K-pop too.

What are some music genres that you can’t stand?

Our godawful turbo folk music. And pure techno is pretty boring too. Everything else I can vibe with.

If you had a blank pair of concert tickets, who would you hope to be going to see?

BTS right now.

Do you still listen to music on the radio from time to time?

Yeah, in the car. But it only makes me wish I had Spotify lol.

iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, or YouTube?

Spotify for sure.

Layer 43: Books

What were some of your favorite books as a child?

Harry Potter was my all-time favourite as a child.

What genre of books do you typically read most often?

I like fantasy, horror, psychological thriller, and just bizarre postmodernist books that make you scratch your head and wonder what the hell you just read.

What are some of your favorite books as an adult?

Convenience Store Woman and The Trial.

What is a book that you were required to read for school that you actually enjoyed?

Lots of them, actually. But The Trial by Kafka will always be my favourite.

Do you read any newspapers or magazines anymore?

Not really.

Layer 43: Around the World

Where’s the best place you’ve taken a vacation and/or day trip to?

Not counting Germany since I go there so often I don't even feel like it's a real vacation anymore, Lisbon. Such a lovely energy there.

Where is somewhere that you’d like to go someday, assuming you have the funds to do so?

Japan.

Where do your family members originate from?

We're all from here, I think.

What is your favorite type of ethnic cuisine?

Italian and Japanese. Although, as I said, Korean is sneaking up on these two...

What is something that is typically representative of your own culture?

Lol rakija, I guess.

Layer 44: Would you Rather...

Drink apple juice or grape juice?

Apple juice.

Wear pants or shorts?

Depends on how hot it is.

Be taller or shorter?

Neither, but I guess shorter if I had to choose.

Go to a zoo or an aquarium?

Zoo.

Visit an art gallery or a museum?

Hmm, art gallery for abstract art, otherwise museum.

Layer 45: Movies

Do you remember what the first movie was that you saw in theaters?

I'm not sure, but it was probably some Harry Potter. Or LOTR, third part. I remember seeing that in the cinema.

What are some of your favorite movies you’ve seen?

There are many, but Oldboy is near the top of that list.

What genre of movie do you typically enjoy?

Horror, psychological thriller, fantasy, stupid teen comedies. Smart teen comedies too though.

What is a movie you’ve seen that you weren’t expecting to like, but were pleasantly surprised?

Hmm, The Duff lol. During the summer in uni, I would often be alone in my flat, sit outside on the balcony, and watch silly teen comedies deep into the night. The Duff was going to be another one of those, but I ended up actually enjoying it.

How many movies do you own? Are they all DVD’s, or do you still have some VHS ones left?

I have some DVDs at home. But I don't use those anymore, now there's Netflix.

Layer 46: Personality

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert.

Are you more easygoing and laid back, or anal?

I think I'm pretty laid back, but I don't think I come across as such right away lol

Are you kind to everyone who shows that they deserve kindness?

I mean, I try.

Describe your sense of humor.

I feel like it's a bit dry tbh. But I love puns and dad jokes as well.

Do you tend to over-share?

No, but as soon as I share anything that I don't normally share, I immediately get that omg-you-said-too-much feeling.

Layer 47: Celebrities

Which celebrity has given their child the most unique name, in your opinion?

Elon Musk takes the cake there.

Are there any celebrities that you keep tabs on/read articles about often?

I don't read articles about anyone, but I follow what BTS boys are up to.

Who is/are your celebrity crush(es)?

Jimin from BTS.

Have you ever personally met someone famous before? If so, then who?

Hmm no.

Who is a celebrity that you’re getting tired of hearing about all the time?

I don't really hear about anyone all the time.

Layer 48: Emotions

When was the last time you cried?

I'm not sure.

What are some things that you’re afraid of?

Loads of things, so let me try to find some original fear. Hmm... I'm afraid that someone I know will somehow find this blog, read all this, and recognize me lol. Also, whenever I kill a spider or a bug, I'm afraid their little friends will come for revenge.

What is something small that makes you happy?

My cat.

Who is the last person that you were angry with, and about what?

I'm not sure tbh. It's been a while, but probably either with mum or with Chris because we had quite a fight this summer.

Are you typically a shy or outgoing person?

Shy.

Layer 49: Digging Deeper

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

I like cocktails. And flavoured soju!

How old were you when you got drunk for the first time?

I was never drunk drunk, but the closest I've been was the team building event at the beginning of October. Alcohol definitely helped me cope with anxiety.

Do you smoke?

Nope.

Have you ever taken and sent naked pictures of yourself?

Nah.

Have you ever done any drugs other than marijuana? If so, which ones?

Only weed.

Layer 50: Games

What are some of your favorite video games?

The Sims franchise, the Witcher series, Little Nightmares...

Do you have any computer games that you play regularly?

Not now because I'm way to busy with work all the time.

What was your favorite board game, growing up?

Monopoly.

How about your favorite card game?

I don't know what it's called, similar to Uno but with regular cards and additional rules.

How good are you at solving puzzles? (such as a Rubik’s cube, word puzzles, or putting together a jigsaw puzzle)

Not bad, I think. It's been a hot minute since I did that though.

[internerdionality]

Rules: Be gay, do crime

Tagged by @dragonmuse (amen to you, that shade of blue is fucking gorgeous)

Relationship status: married since September 2019 (we didn't know that we were bringing on the apocalypse, I swear). We had a rainbow steampunk wedding at an amusement park on top of a cliff, it was fun.

Favorite color: I'm one of those scary fanatic purple-lovers your mutual warned you about

Song stuck in my head: Ooof, that's hard, there are several, you can check out my Current Earworms playlist for all of them, but in the past few months I've been listening to a lot of Stromae and Alec Benjamin, and then of course Lover, Lover, Lover by Leonard Cohen has been stuck in my head since I wrote a fanfic to it. The verse:

He said, "I locked you in this body I meant it as a kind of trial, You can use it for a weapon Or to make some woman smile."

has been, ahh, resonating with me a lot.

Last song I listened to: Darkside by Neoni (which I started listening to cause it has a Sandman fanvid set to it, you should watch, is good).

Three favorite foods: Duck confit, chocolate truffles, and my favorite restaurant makes these french onion soup dumplings that are ama... Kkay, look, I know how this sounds, but my mother was born in France, she got me started on this stuff early. I'm not a food snob, I swear. (A food domme, maybe, but...) Look, I literally had a fast food burger with extra cheese for dinner.

Last thing I google searched: A hamentaschen recipe (I'm late this year, I know. I was on vacation for two weeks over the holiday and then re-entry was difficult so I didn't really have baking energy until this weekend). I have always been devoted to Smitten Kitchen (who has my absolute favorite challah recipe), but her pastry skills are clearly better than mine because whenever I try her various hamantaschen recipes they fall apart on me. This time I used Tori Avey's no-fuss recipe and they came out much prettier (if, yes, less buttery and flaky).

Dream trip: My college bestie and I have always dreamed of taking two or three months and doing an eastern Mediterranean boating tour. Like, get one of those big catamaran yachts and visit Italy, Greece, Turkey, Cyprus, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, Israel, and Egypt. One day when we win the lottery, right?

Anything I want right now: I'd really like a million dollars or so to buy the duplex next door so they don't tear it down and force my family to live next to a construction zone for however long (it'd probably be more than that, depressingly—housing prices are ridiculous here right now—but I imagine if I had a million in cash to put down I could get an offer approved). We just got the demolition notification about a month ago and... yeah. Gonna suck. Plus I've got ambitions of building (more of a) polyam spoonie co-op out here.

Barring that, a licensed contractor in the Denver who can build a wheelchair ramp, is willing to work with the mill levy funding process, and won't ghost me after our initial consultation would be super rad.

Per usual I blathered on here for far longer than the prompts demanded but that's me. Tagging @thetardigrape, @gement, and anyone else who runs across this post and feels like joining us.

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, August 28th, 2024.

What type of milk do you like to drink? I don't normally drink milk by itself, but if I was going to drink plain milk, then it would be whole.

Do you have a first aid kit at home? I don't.

What’s the absolute bare minimum in terms of facilities when you’re camping? As someone who used to do a lot of backpacking, I don't require any facilities. I'm even cool with cowboy camping (in a sleeping bag right under the stars) if the weather is nice enough.

How many places have you lived in your life? As far as states go, I've lived in Louisiana and Colorado. In Colorado, I've lived in a house, an apartment, and two duplexes.

Are your parents dog or cat people? Is that different or the same as you? My dad is more of a cat person. He's somewhat fearful of dogs. I think my mom is more of a cat person as well. She lives with a roommate and they have four cats and two dogs, but I believe the dogs belong to the roommate and are not her preference.

What’s your favourite flavour of potato chip? It's so hard to choose… I like jalapeno, salt and vinegar, lime, bbq, cheese, sour cream and onion…

What’s the longest your hair has ever been? How long is it now? I think the longest it's ever been was slightly past my shoulders, possibly approaching mid-back. It's very short now because I just gave myself a buzzcut.

What video games remind you of your childhood? Rollercoaster Tycoon, Children of the Nile, Mario Kart, Starcraft, Moraff Games (they had a bunch of different games - mahjong, tetris, pinball, puzzles, etc).

What does your body wash or soap smell like? Strawberries and cream.

Are there are sounds that bother you on a visceral level? There are sounds that annoy me (obnoxiously loud ads, high pitched beeping, etc), but as for something visceral…the birds at the pet shop where I used to work. One day they got to screaming and squawking so badly I almost blacked out with rage.

What was the last thing you bought online? Pretty sure it was an e-book.

Name something you always have in your fridge. Almond milk, yogurt, sriracha sauce, jalapenos, cheese…

Have you ever had to hire a lawyer? Why? I haven't.

Have you taken a walk today? Did you see any dogs? My dad and I went on a short hike at the Mountain Park. I didn't see any dogs. I saw some deer, though - not on the trail itself, but on the drive in/out as well as at the picnic site.

What vegetable do you really hate? There aren't any veggies I really hate.

Does your family have any traditions or rituals? My dad and I have some corny little traditions related to hiking trips.

If you could learn any language, what would it be? Japanese.

What was the best thing that happened today? Something that seems minor can still be awesome. Visiting the Mountain Park. The faintest whisper of autumn was in the air. It might have been subtle, but the nostalgia that overcame me was quite profound. That's one of my favorite things about nature and the cycle of the seasons - the way they evoke memories and emotions I can scarcely put into words. I was just happy to be there with my dad and to have that experience with him.

Have you ever donated money to a charity? Which one? At some point.

Did you have a large circle of friends in high school? I guess I had a decently large group of friends/acquaintances.

Would you ever get a matching tattoo with someone? My mom and I have matching tattoos, but it wasn't originally planned that way. I don't remember exactly how it went, but I got one for myself, she liked it too, probably asked if it was cool if she "copied me," and then got it for herself.

What time do you usually go to sleep? Soooo early.

Do you have a job? Not a paid job, but somewhere I basically work full-time? Yes.

What colour are the plates in your kitchen? They're not all one color.

What was the last gift you received? Easter chocolates from my mom.

What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Snake.

Are you inside right now? If you’re home, what room of the house are you in? I'm in my bedroom.

Are you good at remembering faces? I'm okay at it.

What will you do after this survey? Listen to something on YouTube until it's time for dinner.

[michaelleafer]

"Live-in Flip" Strategy, Yes or No?

Pros and Cons of the 'Live-In Flip' Strategy

Flipping houses is a clever way to turn low-cost homes into profitable opportunities. Many homes have fallen out of favor due to dated and poorly maintained features, but they still have "good bones". With a few renovation projects, each one could be an appealing home to rent or resell. While most people buy separate homes to flip, a few practice the wily art of "live-in flipping" in which you live in the home while you renovate it to minimize costs and maximize efficiency.

Are you tempted by the call of a live-in flip project? Still debating whether it's the right answer? We can help with a deep dive into the pros and cons of the live-in flip strategy.

Flipping, House-Hacking, and Live-In Flips

Live-in flip projects are where flipping meets house-hacking. House-hacking is when you buy a multi-residence property (from duplex to apartment building) then live in one unit while renting the rest. It's a clever way to reduce costs and stay close to your investment.

Flipping is fixing up a house to restore it's profitability. Live-in flipping is a whole additional level of commitment compared to flipping a separate house, while offering many of the advantages of house-hacking. Of course, there are a few things you might consider downsides, so it's important to make the right choice.

Pros of Living In Your Flip

Live-in flipping is a 24-7 renovation project. You live in the house you are renovating and it will become your world. For some people, that's a DIY dream come true. For others, it would be a nightmare. But there's no denying the benefits of live-in flipping when it comes to the finances.

Don't Pay for Housing

First, you don't have to pay for housing. You don't need to own a separate home or rent nearby, and you don't need to pay two sets of utilities to keep the lights on in both places.. There's no commute to and from your home and flip except the shuffle from your bed to the kitchen each morning, and that might be perfect for you.

Owner-Occupied Financing

When you buy a house to live in, you can get much better mortgage rates. You can place a down payment of less than 5% and often get a better interest rate. If you live in the flip for 2 out of 5 years before selling, you can also take advantage of primary tax discounts.

DIY All Night

For many, living inside a DIY project is living the dream. If this is you, then you may love a live-in flip. You can DIY all day and all night, as long as you only do quite project stages like painting and retiling after dark. Save the circular saw for daytime hours.

More Time to Make Improvements

When you live in your flip, you have more time for projects. You don't have to commute and your finances aren't limited by maintaining a second home. You can take it easy or drive yourself forward at your own pace.

Cons of Live-In Flipping

Chaos is the primary downside of the live-in flip strategy. You will be fully immersed in your project without a "normal" home to go back to.

Living in a Construction Zone

First and foremost, you will be living in a construction zone. Any major renovations will mean that your home is less than complete during your stay. The full extent of your renovations will determine just how chaotic or disruptive this experience might be. Maybe you'll love the camping aspect and have a great time, but some may be less suited to the construction zone lifestyle.

Contractor Traffic

Second, if you hire contractors they will be moving through your home whenever scheduled. This is one reason why live-in flipping favors DIY enthusiasts to minimize the strangers and work crews in your house.

No Relaxation Between Tasks

You may miss the ability to leave your flip and relax between tasks. Some people are great at watching a movie on their laptop and kicking back between DIY projects, but others need their own private space to decompress. Plan accordingly.

Finding the Right Flip Strategy for You

When deciding whether to live in your next flip, consider how the lifestyle suits your personality, preferences, and needs. Do you love adventure and camping? Do you thrive on chaos and perseverance? Are you a DIY crafter or does your flip need only a few cosmetic updates? If so, then a live-in flip might be a great way to save money on your next real estate investment project.

And if you're thinking twice about setting up camp in a major construction zone, you can always keep your dwelling separate and nearby.

Finding Tenants for Your Flip

If you have completed a successful flip and are ready to profit, Leaf Management is ready to help. We offer professional property management services to help you find and keep tenants in the homes you flip. Contact us today to learn more.

[aakashindia]

Experience the lavish lifestyle awaiting you at Aakash Riviera

Explore your prospective home through a virtual tour and get ready to embrace a fresh beginning!

Have you always dreamed of owning a stunning 3 BHK apart or a duplex in a thriving city like Dobo Jamshedpur? Well, Aakash Riviera is the manifestation of your dream. Just 3.8 km away from the Sonari airport, Aakash Riviera is giving you the high end and luxury 3bhk flats in Dobo Jamshedpur from the house of one of the top real estate developers in Jamshedpur, Aakash India.

The Scenic Beauty

If your senses are tired of the hustle and bustle of the city, if you are looking for luxury amenities harmonizing with natural beauty then owning 3 BHK luxury apartments in Dobo is the best decision you can make. We will come to the modern amenities part later, but let us talk about the abundant blessing of Mother Earth here.

Dobo is blessed with the calming Subarna Rekha River and a man-made yet serene view of Dobo Dam. Dobo is a hamlet where you can choose to live like an urban hermit. The ongoing residential project, Aakash Riviera, towering over the Subarnarekha River, will give you the perfect blend of modern amenities and the magnetism of nature.

The Amenities

Aakash India is known for assembling modern top-notch amenities for their clients. Aakash Riviera, the 4 tower project by the river Subarna Rekha is coming with 132 luxury apartments in Dobo. The complex will include a river-facing row of boutique apartments and a 3-screen gold class multiplex. Mind blown?

Well, hold your horses, we have more to tell. Aakash Riviera also has a swimming pool, Designer toilet with change room and steam room, amphitheater with lawn, gazebos and cabanas, multipurpose banquet with kitchen, card room, library room, discussion room and landscape garden. Apart from the complex also has a Mandir or temple and fragrance garden.

Connectivity

Yes, Dobo is a hamlet but that does not mean you are going to live in an off-grid detached area. Aakash Riviera is well-connected and close to all the needed facilities. This is another reason to get a 3-bedroom luxury apartment complex in Dobo.

The famous Sai mandir of Dobo is just 19 km away from Aakash Riviera. The bus station is just 150m away and Tata Nagar railway station is 8.7kms away. The area has famous schools like Loyola and hospitals like TATA Main Hospital.

So if you are worried about your family, the schooling of your kids, or the treatment of the elders, we hope, now it is resolved.

Investing in a property is a decision that needs a lot of consideration. In this fast-paced life, people are feeling the urge to leave crowded metro cities and move to comparatively calmer and nature-centric places where they can also get modern facilities. Aakash India team understood the innate needs of people and started this project. We hope that here you will get the luxury and peace you have been seeking for so long.

[uhlatcha]

A PLACE CALLED YOU - CHAPTER ONE

WATTPAD | AO3 | PLAYLIST | A PLACE CALLED YOU MASTERLIST

SUMARY: Yunho is going through a difficult time. After his roommate and best friend had to move, Yunho finds himself buried in work and studies, spending most of his time away from the empty apartment full of memories that doesn't feel like home anymore since Mingi's departure.

Tati's life was practically perfect. She was finally going to debut in her first show as an official member of the ballet company she had spent her entire life preparing to join, and that alongside her best friend. But the girl sees it all fall apart right in front of her, literally. After her apartment roof collapses while she was at a rehearsal, Tati finds herself hopping from house to house among her friends. But after discovering that it's impossible to get back the apartment that has been her home for so long, the girl realizes that maybe it's time to find a new place to be her home.

FANDOMS: ATEEZ, STRAY KIDS PAIRING: JYH x OC WORDS:1887 GENRE: FANFIC, ROMCOM, NON IDOL AU, COLLEGE AU NOTES: ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, ANY FEEDBACKAS ARE WELCOME.

CHAPTER ONE

It wasn’t difficult, Tati had been doing it all her life, but at that moment, she couldn’t keep herself focused enough not to spoil the choreography.

It was the fifth time she and Seonghwa had replayed the same part of the first act of Midsummer Night’s Dreams, which thanks to her, the two of them hadn’t gotten right once.

Three spins and a jump lifting the leg for Seonghwa to hold. It was all she needed to do. The two were getting ready to try the move for the fifth time. Seonghwa positioned himself and Tati spun, spun, spun and spun once more, unbalancing because she realized the mistake, Seonghwa who tried to hold her ended up getting kicked in the face when the girl lifted her leg trying to complete the move and failing miserably.

‘Hwa I’m sorry.” she said, pulling away from her friend and dance partner’s arms, trying to see the damage her foot had done to her face. It wasn’t the first time she had accidentally hurt him that day. Seonghwa took a deep breath.

“Ok, let’s call it a day.” he said, looking annoyed “I’ve reached the hitting quota I can take for a day.”

“I’m sorry…I…” she started but was interrupted by Seonghwa who had sat down on the wooden floor of the studio and was drinking from a bottle of water she held out to the girl.

“I know you’re worried, you don’t need to apologize all the time.” he said, patting the girl’s shoulder.

“Yes I do, I’m ruining the choreography.” she said, sitting down next to Seonghwa fiddling with the strings on her skirt just to have something to do.

“Yes, you are.” he said with a teasing smile -But it’s okay, we still have time to get it right.

“It’s our big debut.” she said. “I can’t screw it up because I’m thinking too much.”

Tati’s head was starting to throb just thinking about the situation. She had been temporarily homeless for three months. She used to share an apartment with another dancer from the company, a duplex on top of a store so old, it ended up collapsing thanks to a pipe that burst causing a huge leak. The wedding created a huge hole in the middle of the room. Tati’s roommate ended up coming back to her parents’ house, Tati didn’t have that option, and with Chris living out of town she had nowhere to go.

So there she was, living in a hotel after tiring of living on a favor with Lia for nearly two months, with all of her belongings stored in a container in a warehouse. And all this during the months of rehearsals for her debut as a member of the ballet company she’d always dreamed of joining, that of course, if she could only concentrate enough to get the damn choreography right.

“This whole situation sucks.” Seonghwa said, bringing the girl back to reality, as if she could read her thoughts “Is there anything I can do to help? We’re in this together, remember? Do you need money? Can I talk to my parents?”

“It’s okay, I don’t need money now. I still have a fair amount saved, I just need to find a place that matches my budget to stay. Lia’s family is amazing, but I don’t feel comfortable staying there practically for free, and the deposit is so expensive if If I keep spending so much just to put away my stuff, I’ll really run out of money. But don’t worry, I won’t let it go that far. And if things get tight I’ll call Chris.”

“You should have called him by now.” Seonghwa said “I understand you don’t want to ask your parents for help, but I think you should at least tell Chris what happened.”

“He already has a lot of responsibilities to worry about, I’ll figure it out.”

“I wish I had a place of my own so you could stay with me.” he said, visibly worried, and upset that he couldn’t help.

“It’s ok.” she said, squeezing her friend’s shoulder “I’ll work it out -she said taking a deep breath. “Lia and I are going out for the weekend to look for apartments.”

At that moment the students who used the studio at night started to arrive, so Seonghwa stood up, reaching out to the girl, helping her to her feet so they could both leave.

“I spoke to her this morning and she already has a huge list of places for us to visit, I’m sure we’ll find something.” She reassured her friend as the two headed out of the studio. Delete Created with Sketch.

“I can’t believe we didn’t find anything,” Lia complained, sitting heavily next to May in Lia’s family’s pastry shop booth. She placed on the table two plates of huge slices of chocolate cake that she had just picked up from the counter.

“Let me go through the list again, you must have missed something.” May said. She was the oldest of the group but not by far the most responsible, but she was definitely more attentive than Tati and Lia combined.

Tati handed over the sheet with the address list of the apartments they spent all morning visiting. May scanned the list and the notes Lia and Tati had made next to each address.

“It’s on top of a dirty noisy bar” was scrawled next to one of the addresses. “The building is falling apart” was scrawled next to another. And so the list went on with things like “It’s tiny, it doesn’t even fit a bed”, “there’s no bathroom?????”, “Perfect but the rent costs a soul and I’ve already sold mine to the dancing gods”. May laughed at the last entry.

“Nice to see you’re at least keeping your temper dealing with all this,” May commented.

“I always preferred to joke and laugh at my own misfortune” Tati said, stirring her tea “Because if I start crying I’ll never stop.”

“It’s a good tactic,” May said.

“It’s what keeps me slightly sane,” Tati said, going back to sipping her tea.

“Are you sure you went everywhere?” May wanted to know.

“Yes, we went to everyone on the list” Lia commented, staring at the slices of cake she had brought for her friends.

“Are you sure you don’t want a piece?” Tati asked, feeling bad for her friend.

“Yes, if I eat it all goes to my thighs, which are already huge. I need to get into those damn pantyhose without difficulty.

Lia was tall and curvy. She had thick thighs and breasts that she did her best to make them smaller. She was now twenty-three and still cursing puberty for giving her such big thighs.

Tati remembered the times she had seen her friend cry and curse her own body for wanting to destroy her dreams. She’d also seen her friend skip several meals to slim down during audition periods. Tati hated that, hated seeing her friend torture herself because of unfair standards. Lia was an amazing dancer, she put her all into the dance. Watching her dance was like watching the sun shine. And yet there she was torturing herself.

“I’ll look for more ads.” Lia said, trying to change the subject.

May was suddenly quiet, staring into space, then slapped the table with a huge smile, startling the other two.

“I got it” she said as she got up and ran towards the counter. Tati turned to see where her friend had gone, then saw her stopping at the counter next to Hongjoong, who flashed a flirtatious smile upon seeing the girl, who was already in flirting mode.

“Wasn’t he in France? When did he get back?” Tati asked.

“Weren’t they over?” Lia asked, watching the two of them and ignoring Tati’s question.

“Uhum.” Tati said, still watching the two flirting softly “But it’s May, she’s his muse”It didn’t take long for the girl to drag Hongjoong to the table. She returned to sit next to Lia and Hongjoong took the seat next to Tati.

“Hey shorty” he said, pushing Tati’s shoulder with his, then turned to Lia “Lili”Lia just waved at the boy who took off his coat and placed it on the table.

“When did you get back? I thought you were in Paris! Did you bring gifts?”

“One thing at a time” he said “I came back yesterday, and yes, I brought gifts. But first what’s the news?” he asked.

“Does that friend of yours still need a roommate?” May asked bluntly.

“Sorry what?” He asked, flashing a teasing smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about” May returned the smile.

“Come on, Joong,” she said, using the boy’s nickname to try to soften him up.

“Need a place to stay? You know my door is always open for you” he said leaning across the table to face her even more closely.

“Oh that’s very good to know” Tati was already getting uncomfortable, Lia was blushing like a tomato. “But it’s not for me, it’s for Tati. Didn’t you hear about the flooding?”

“Flooding?” he asked, confused.

“Oh yeah” Tati said, her mouth full of cake “My apartment kind of fell apart while you were in France.”

“Oh my god, Tati. Are you okay? Are you hurt? How did I not know about this?” he seemed genuinely sorry about the whole situation.

“It’s ok, my things that were saved are in a deposit and I’m staying in a hotel” Tati said “I went out with Lia today to look for something more definitive”

“But we didn’t have much luck,” Lia said, handing him the address book.

“Then I saw you coming in and I remembered you mentioned that a friend needed a roommate. So does he still need it?” May asked.

“I don’t remember mentioning that to you.” Hongjoong said.

“You didn’t comment directly, you were on the phone one day and I heard you saying: YUNHO YOU NEED A NEW ROOMMATE.”

“You’re such a nosy, why were you listening to my conversation?” Hongjoong wanted to know.

“I didn’t listen on purpose” she said “But for some reason I kept the information. And now I see it was because the universe had bigger plans”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes, May and her superstitions.

“Look… I really want to help. But it’s not that simple. I think Yunho does need someone to share the apartment with, and you obviously really need a place to stay. But Yunho doesn’t want a roommate.”

“Explain” May asked, fiddling with her coffee cup.

“It’s just that the situation that made him stop having a roommate is a little…delicate.”

Lia’s eyes widened, becoming immediately worried.

“He’s not a criminal, is he?” she asked, looking from Honjoing to May “Or a serial killer, or a pervert?”

“Of course not.” Hongjoong said, offended.

“Never mind, we will find something better for Tati, We don’t want our friend at risk and…”

“He’s nothing like that, okay? He’s a really sweet guy.”

“What’s the matter then?” May asked. Hongjoong sighed.

“I don’t feel comfortable exposing my friends’ personal lives. You don’t even know him.” Hongjoong sighed “Look, Yunho is a good person, and living with him will practically be like living alone, he hardly stays home because of work and college. If you want I can talk to him.”

Tati really didn’t want to bother anyone, she had already run away from Lia’s apartment because she felt that she had abused her and her family’s hospitality but she was really desperate, and Hongjoong’s friend seemed like a really nice guy. And well… He could still say no, but it was still her best option at the moment. So what could she do but accept?

[ethernetmeep]

another long rant of standing in the rain & introspection towards myself

drank a cherry kool-aid juice box as i stood in the rain, wondering if i was still a child and if i was emotionally mature. although you inevitably are a child either way if you’re under 18, i wondered if i truly ever was one. i know i was, but i wonder for how long.

i remember being called very mature in my adolescence; i didn’t like it. the only reason i had grown to being that way was because my maternal figure wasn’t very mature herself. she looks back on these things with intense guilt & she hates remembering what she was like; i just look back on it neutrally. i still remember not fully growing empathy and choosing to hang with a neighbors teenage child during a power outage, leaving my mother in a dark house below. we have a duplex except we live on the bottom floor; separated by one apartment at the top and one on bottom. continuing, she was mad at my child self having left her, and i distinctly remember her screaming at me and telling me she should just give me to the neighbors upstairs if i liked them so much. i had begged & pleaded with her that i didn’t want that, i simply wanted to stay with her and that i was sorry, so sorry, and i distinctly member that being one of the first instances of me being truly afraid of my mother. i’ve still felt this fear, back in august especially. i think because of this base memory its made me apologize intensely for everything, and its ironic how my apologizing was built from fear of my mother yet said apologizing i had done only would make her more upset when it was repeated. doomed cycles, i guess.

as for the questions i posed at the beginning, i don’t feel like a child. i am one in every sense of the word, but i feel as if my childhood was one very skewed from how a typical one should be. maybe around the 1-9 age bracket i was genuinely a child, but even teetering on 9 i feel as if i wasn’t all that sound. i always used the internet as my way to escape, and i think to some extent i still do this subconsciously. i would use it to escape my life, imagine i was someone else. i would do this frequently. i still remember playing a certain minecraft adjacent game and always switching between the girl avatars and the boy ones— one day i’d make my name something like jamie, the next day a bryson or maybe a mike. i wouldn’t do this because i inherently wanted to lie to people, i just wanted to feel what it was like to be a girl one day & a boy in another. escapism in its purest form.

now, im much sounder with who i am as a person. although still subpar, still much sounder. i had an awful middle area when i knew i hated being a girl, and was simply unable to change this. i changed my handles to something like wowie online, and ended up using the name (wowie, i mean) for about a year or two. when asked my name by people online, i would always just use my handle; my birthname didn’t feel like my name. forgot when i started going by cyber; wish i remembered. sometimes if asked what other name id go by, one much more quote normal, i would go for the name toby. short, sound, and a name kimya dawson used in one of her songs; “and i never knew a toby i didn’t like.”

anyway, my answers to my two questions seemed to be ??? & yes. ??? to the child question, yes to emotionally mature. of course i’m still growing, not perfection, but i believe for my age i seem to be more mature than certain adults.. thats what my therapist says, anyway. i don’t need to be perfection, although i wish i could be thats simply improbable; instead i can just hope to be the best i can be. and although in a logistics standpoint i am still a child, having such a skewed childhood makes this not feel like the case. i feel like i grew far too fast for my liking; all i can do to combat this is do things my child self was unable to. this was especially prominent when i bought my friend and i some calico critters on friday…. it healed something from my childhood i didn’t know it could. it also made me happy to buy something for someone; reminds me im human because im doing a simple nice thing just to do it, not because i actually have some need to be nice.

i forgot to mention this earlier, but i also don’t tend to stand in the rain. did this because i was starting to feel overstimulated— or maybe understimulated? usually over— as i kept being on my phone all day & doing nothing of any sort, simply rotting in bed. obviously unhealthy. i wanted to change this, and i knew it was raining because i heard it faintly from inside. threw on slip on shoes & a rather nice jacket, taking last cherry kool-aid juice box from the fridge and drinking it outside. rain was somewhat pouring, although i’m not good at saying definitively what rain is and what rain isn’t except for a rather obvious statement like rain isn’t lava. the sound of the heavy rain was very peaceful to me, and feeling some of it land on my hair or face or hands reminded me i was human too in a way.. it was incredibly helpful, along with very sweet in its own way. i had only walked around my yard as i drank the kool-aid & to the mailbox, didn’t bring music with me & just sort of walked around a bit; unsure how long i was out for, just knew it was peaceful. it reminded me of a similar time i was out in the rain in september, although still felt odd as it wasn’t something i usually do. i was curious if there too was someone else out there in a similar position as i was standing out in the rain. very likely.

before i went outside, i remembered a visual i occasionally remember because my brain doesn’t change; walking past a corridor & seeing a sight i didn’t expect, although instead of being affected by this negatively i was instead.. happy.

it was special, so i left. then again, it wasn’t special; it was simple & mundane and thats what made it special to me.

extra photo from earlier to throw in too if someone has read this far. thank you

[bluepenguinstories]

Duck, Duck, Goose Issue #3

When Nemesis returned to Mac, he gasped upon seeing her wounds.

“Are you nuts?!” He shouted.

“Hey, I took care of your problem!” She balked.

“You’re bleeding,” Mac pointed at her arm, and she glanced down.

“Huh. That’s what that stinging’s from. I’ve been wondering about that.”

“That’s it: you’re coming over to my place and I’m going to patch you right up. You don’t want that getting infected, do you?”

She didn’t argue. It was a strange turn of events, but she went along as they turned away from the abandoned factory and headed back into the city. He led the way while she followed behind and thought about what had transpired.

Met a couple of new people in one day. Got to help somebody out. This feels...refreshing, she smiled at the thought.

“What did you mean back there? About you taking care of my problem?” He asked while hastening the pace.

“I’m sure you can tell what I did,” she answered. At that point, there was no avoiding her reputation.

“How did that solve my problem, exactly? They’re just going to bring more people and demand more money than before and the threats are going to get more serious and…” He started to breathe faster the more he talked.

“Easy. I’m sure it will escalate, just not for you. By being the one to give them such a beating, the focus will be on me, and I can handle myself. So don’t worry yourself over any money, and if anyone does try to come after you, let me know and I’ll give them a beating.”

They walked through a neighborhood with rundown apartments juxtaposed with suburban houses. Mac’s house in particular was a two-storey red brick house with solar panels fixated on the roof. Nemesis marveled at how wide the houses was.

“It’s not that impressive,” he commented.

“Not that impressive?!” She gawked and flapped her arms about, “I live in a duplex! This is like a mansion in comparison!”

“Okay, I get your point. Come on in,” he gestured to follow him to the door. She shrugged her shoulders, then followed him in. Once inside, the spaciousness only grew; a wide living room, a kitchen the size of both hers and Eleos’ rooms combined, and a door that led to a basement.

To her right was a stairwell, which Mac took one step up before a woman with brown hair and a blue apron emerged out from the corner of the kitchen.

“Oh? Who’s this?” The woman asked, then called “Mac! Are you home?” “Yes mom!” Mac called back without retreating from his position on the stairwell.

“Um. Hi. I’m one of Mac’s classmates. I’m Nemesis, and I come in peace,” she tried to greet Mac’s mom but was caught up in the beauty of how youthful his mother looked that she was caught off guard and her words came out stilted.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” the mother smiled.

“Okay, mom. We can’t stand around and chit-chat. She picked a fight with a Canadian goose and needs some first aid.”

“Aw, how sweet of you,” she held a hand over her cheek.

Before Nemesis headed upstairs, she craned her neck out from the stairwell.

“By the way, he’s gay. I’m just here because I’m a dummy who picks fights with geese,” she tried to explain herself. The mother just chuckled.

“I already know that about him,” she told Nemesis, “it’s still nice of him to bring a friend over. He’s never had anyone over before.”

Why would I pick a fight with a Canadian goose? She wondered while walking up the stairs to his room. Then again, those nasty things probably had it coming.

Mac’s room was just as spacious: a long, metallic table was situated in the middle of his room. Behind it, a desk with a computer tower under it, and three monitors side by side. His bed was a queen sized mattress with several stuffed animals. His dresser almost looked like a tower, and not to mention the walk-in closet that was near the edge of his bed. Nemesis suspected that there must have been a bathroom in his room, too, as those fancy big rooms tended to have one of those.

“It’s a bit of a mess, I admit,” he mumbled and shuffled over to one of his closets (yes, he had multiple) and pulled out a first aid kit.

“Are you kidding? Your room’s not messy at all! You just have lots of stuff!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah, well…” His eyes darted around. If he was about to come up with some excuse, it never came, and instead he said, “sit on the edge of the bed.”

She did as instructed and sat up straight. As he pulled out a wipe soaked in rubbing alcohol, she tried to ease whatever sense of tension she thought she felt.

“So...your mom’s quite captivating, huh?” She mentioned.

“Really?! While I’m trying to clean your wounds?!” He was awestruck at her tenacity.

“I meant nothing by it.”

He dabbed the alcohol soaked wipe on her cheek where she had gotten her bruise. She winced as it pressed against her face and she felt the swelling, but that was nothing compared to when he pressed the wipe against the cut where she was slashed. It wasn’t a shallow wound, either, and she hadn’t notice how much blood had spilled out of her until the intense sting from the alcohol hit and she let out an aching hiss.

Through the wipe, blood seeped through and she gulped at the sight. Mac pulled the wipe off and replaced it with a soft pad, then pulled out a roll of gauze and began wrapping it around her wound.

Once he finished, she let out out a little whining “ow…”

“Never had to clean your wounds before?” He asked.

“Don’t laugh but my mom’s always done it for me,” she looked away while explaining.

Plus even if it was just one cut, I’ve never had a wound this deep before, she added, but kept that one in her thoughts.

“Well, let’s not make a habit of this. I’m not some medic – I’m more interested in building things and engineering than taking care of people. But if it saves me the trouble of having to find you dead at my doorstep...I guess there’s worse things.”

“Thanks,” she winced, then managed a smile.

“Well, even though what you did was stupid...it did kinda help. But why aren’t you mad with me?” He asked.

“It’s simple: you’re a victim in this. Yes, being hooked on a drug is bad, but you were taken advantage of, and next they tried to extort you once you were hooked.”

He began to tear up, but then he snorted and pushed the tears back in.

“Erm...thank you,” he said, then added, “take care on the way home.”

It was another hour before she arrived home, and the sun began to set. The sky turned a mellow orange, and soon, dusk would be upon her.

At home, she planned to go straight up to her room and work on homework for a bit, then call it a night. However, before she could, her mother who was seated at the dinner table along with Eleos, got up and noticed the gauze wrapped around Nemesis’s arm.

“What happened?” Nicole Clemens got up from the table and walked over.

“Nothing,” Nemesis replied.

“Did you get in another fight?”

“Mom, it’s nothing,” Nemesis looked away.

“Was this at school?” Nicole probed further. Nemesis just shook her head.

Nicole Clemens placed her hand on Nemesis’s cheek. It was warm to the touch.

“I...helped someone,” was the most Nemesis could manage. If I don’t say anything, it will only make her worry more, she thought.

“It’s okay to help, but make sure to that you’re taking care of yourself,” her mother advised instead of scolding her or prying any further.

“I’ll try.”

“Won’t you have dinner with us?” Eleos offered, “it’s still warm.”

Nemesis shook her head again.

“I’ll eat later,” she told her sister, then walked upstairs to her room.

While in her room, she tried to focus on her homework, but the images of what transpired after school kept playing out in black and white. Even when the assignments were to solve for simple formulas, all she could think about was the wound on her arm, and that however small it was, it bled.

There was a knock on her door. She expected it to be her mom, there to try to get more information out of her.

“Come in,” she grumbled. To her surprise, it was her sister, Eleos.

“Have you eaten yet?” Eleos asked.

“No,” Nemesis replied.

“Will you?”

“I don’t know,” she tensed up and snapped her pencil in half. Great. At least I have another in my desk drawer.

“You know, I –” Eleos began to say before Nemesis cut her off.

“Yeah, I get it. You forgive me.”

“I care about you a lot,” she said instead.

“What kind of things are you into?” Nemesis asked after a brief pause, “I’ve spent so long not hanging around you that I barely know anything about my own sister.”

“That’s okay. We don’t have to know everything about each other. But...I like reading fairy tales and fantasy novels!”

“Like knights saving princesses?” Nemesis asked.

“Yeah, those too!”

“I used to like to pretend I was a knight when I was little. Saving princesses from dragons. But I guess the time for that is over. There are no dragons, there’s only people.”

“People can be nice!”

“Mm-hmm,” Nemesis looked up and smiled, “I have to remind myself that most people are not dragons.”

“I wouldn’t mind if a dragon was nice, too,” Eleos added, “but on that note, I still have homework of my own to finish up on. Do take care.”

“Yeah. Goodnight,” she waved as Eleos closed her bedroom door. It wasn’t long before Nemesis gave up on her own homework and went to sleep that night without having had supper.

Right leg, swift upward kick to the face, blocked by a palm. Then, the other leg, only for that one to be blocked by the opposite palm.

At the abandoned factory, Nemesis and Trey practiced combat. For every attack that she tried, he would block or dodge with ease, all while he maintained a slouched posture.

“See, your form’s all wrong again,” he’d criticize her as well, “you shouldn’t kick straight up unless you have the flexibility to do so. Do you do any yoga, girl?”

She shook her head.

“If you’re going to insist on that form, may as well get into stretching,” he advised. “Otherwise, a better practice would be to bend your leg up, then spring it forward.”

For every comment that he made, her annoyance grew.

“You call those punches? That’s more like a baby flailing about after their pacifier was removed!”

After half an hour, their session ended and Nemesis sat on the ground, short on breath.

“How do you know so much about fighting?” She asked in between short breaths.

“My career necessitated the need to defend myself. That’s past me now, but still good to know,” he explained.

“What was your career?” She asked, and after, realized how little she actually knew about that guy.

“You could say I was someone who gathered information. People would pay me to learn about things and I was decent enough at finding what others were looking for, so I obliged. It wasn’t a savory job, but it paid well.”

“Unsavory? How?”

“Well, you know private investigators, or as I like to call ‘em, professional stalkers? Sometimes people’ll hire them to find out if their husband is cheating on them or run ‘background checks’ on people by snooping around and asking the right questions. My work was kinda like that, and while I didn’t typically follow people around, asking too many questions or looking into things that don’t concern you can get you into lots of trouble, so I had to keep my wits about me.”

“I seem to have that problem as well…” Nemesis groaned, palms over her cheek as she slouched forward.

“You’re trying to help people, though.”

“What if those dealers were just trying to scrape by and I took away their livelihood,” she considered.

“Doesn’t excuse threatening that friend of yours. Hell, I’m glad those guys are gone. They have their own base of operations yet they wanted to hang around my place, too? The gall on those bastards. They paid me to let them set up shop there, but they never said anything about me protectin’ them. They must not have been strapped for cash if they were willing to pay off an old geezer like me!” He wheezed up a strained laugh.

“I guess that clears my conscience a little. By how much, I don’t know,” she replied. “You said they have their own base of operations?”

“Yeah, or so I heard from one of them. Dunno where, and I don’t really care to look into it.”

“I’m not going to ask you to look, either. If anything comes up, I’ll figure it out myself.”

She stood up.

“So, practice again next weekend?” She asked.

“Depends: you bringing booze?” Trey joked.

“How old do you think I am? I’m still in high school,” Nemesis pointed out, not amused in the slightest by his quip.

“Right,” he waved away, “I can get my own booze. Feel free to catch me around anytime.”

She walked away and waved him off.

A few weeks later…

There was a field trip down to Alaska. All first years were invited, but only a class worth’s of students were able to attend. There was a raffle for all those who wished to attend, and 30 names would be drawn. Nemesis happened to get lucky.

More than that, as she sat on the bus, her heart raced. It had been racing ever since the announcement of such a field trip, and now that they were headed down, her heart refused to stop racing.

She sat next to Mac, at the window seat, and pressed her forehead against the glass. All she wanted to focus on was the reason for her heart to race so bad. It was the feeling that both led to her wanting to go, as well as gave her a vague sense of dread.

“Hey, Nem. Are you nervous or just cold?” Mac asked. Startled, Nemesis turned and the initial surprised look she had turned into a smile.

“Oh, hi Mac. How’s it going?” She asked.

“Don’t ‘oh, hi’ me. We’ve been sitting next to each other for a full hour,” he groaned.

“What, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” She nudged him.

“I’m doing fine. It’s you who’s avoiding the question,” he pointed out, “or is it just that you act all happy-go-lucky whenever something’s particularly bothering you?”

“Something’s always bothering me, you know that,” she kept her cheerful attitude, even if it wasn’t a genuine cheerfulness. “But this one in particular...I can’t quite place what it is.”

“You’re nervous,” he replied.

“And you’re not?” She argued.

“I’m only nervous about the possibility of meeting a hunky lumberjack and falling in love at first sight only to remember that I won’t see him after this trip and we forget to exchange contact information. So all I’ll be left with is the memory of our brief tryst,” he pined away some hypothetical scenario.

“Right. Like that’ll happen,” Nemesis joked.

“A boy can dream, Nem. A boy can dream,” he mused, and a rare smile spread across his face. He soon lowered it as soon as Nemesis noticed.

Near the front of the bus was Dike. She was in her second year of high school, but volunteered to watch over the group of students just to make sure everyone stayed out of trouble. Of course, Nemesis was also hoping everyone would stay out of trouble.

When the bus stopped in an empty parking lot near a forestry trail, Dike stood in front of the group congregated around her.

“Everyone, we’re here to take in all that nature has to offer! That said, stay on the trails at all time and don’t stray from the group!”

Nemesis yawned.

“What a drag,” she muttered.

“You’re telling me. How am I supposed to find my lumberjack boyfriend now?” Mac agreed.

“I’m sure there’s some city lumberjacks,” Nemesis suggested.

The group walked in a line through the trails. In front was Dike, who pointed some things out while walking. Nemesis and Mac stuck to the very back.

“If you look to your left, you will see shore pine trees. To your right are sitka spruce trees. On the ground there are pine cones,” she explained while gesturing to each thing.

“How does she know all this?” Nemesis whispered, “does she study trees or something?”

“She’s probably reading from a field guide,” Mac suggested.

While the rest of the group moved, Nemesis was fixed on a tree which seemed taller than the rest. It had yellowed leaves and shimmered with little white balls on the leaves.

“Nem! Come on!” Mac rasped, trying not to bring too much attention to them, “the group’s walking without you!”

“I’ll catch up,” she dismissed him, “I’m just curious about this tree.”

“It’s probably a cottonwood,” he explained. “We have plenty of those back at home, too.”

“Neat,” her gaze was fixed on the tree. She thought she could grab onto one of the leaves and take a cotton ball. As she took a step, however, the dirt under her foot sank and she slipped down the slope of the hill.

She tried to grab onto branches on the wall down, but whenever she would catch one, they would snap in her hands. All the while as she slid, dirt caught on the back of the sweater and the friction against the dry soil and small rocks scratched against her back, as well as the back of her arms.

When she landed, she almost landed on her face as she tried to stand upon landing. She wobbled around, and soon found her balance.

The legs of her jeans had gotten torn from the slide, and she felt her back only to feel a sharp sting and moisture against her fingertips.

“Oh jeez,” she huffed, “this ain’t good.”

She staggered around, then turned and saw the hill that had dragged her down. The trees blocked the view of others, and she couldn’t tell if Mac or anyone else had noticed her fall.

Before she had a chance to think about her next move, her phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and answered.

“Uh...hello?” She groaned.

“Are you okay?!” Mac’s voice came in.

“Huh. How’d you get my number?” She was surprised to hear him call, let alone the fact that he once mentioned offhand that he preferred to text people.

“We exchanged contact information, remember?”

“Oh yeah. That was a thing that happened,” she shook her head. She couldn’t remember the exact day, but it was the week after getting into a fight with those drug dealers.

“I don’t mean to worry you, but I’m a little scratched up. I mean, I’m sure it’ll dry. Just saying,” she chuckled, then coughed.

“This isn’t funny!” He scolded.

She staggered forward.

“I really thought the next time I got injured would be after a fight,” she bemoaned, “but I’ve been a good girl and I still get injured.”

“Bullshit! You didn’t stick with the group like you were supposed to!” He yelled.

“Try and keep your voice low,” she replied, “I’ll figure out something. You go on ahead with the rest of the group. They may not have even noticed I’m gone.”

“What about you?”

“Hmm…” She put her hand on her chin and thought it over, “I’m sure I can make my way onto the road, then walk back up to the parking lot.”

“That’s not a very good plan…”

“Got anything better? I’d try and crawl back up, but the ground seems pretty slippery. I’d rather not make any more of a fool of myself than I have already.”

“I’ll check in on you whenever I get the chance. Don’t accumulate any more injuries before I see you again, got it?”

Nemesis rolled her eyes.

“It’s not my fault if I run into a bear, just so you know,” she replied. While walking through the forest with its damp, fallen leaves, she found a clearing. Before her stood a log cabin, and as she stared at it, wide eyed, she almost dropped her phone on the ground. “No way…”

“What? What is it?” Mac asked. Nemesis flinched upon hearing his voice.

I thought you would have hung up by now, she thought before answering, “sorry, I’ll call you back in a little bit.”

After she hung up and put her phone back into her pocket, she walked up to the wooden door and ran her hand along it. It was cold, and damp to the touch, but she didn’t mind.

“You’re still here…” she whispered, “I would have thought that you’d be torn down.”

Her old childhood home still sat, and a few memories of her growing up there came back. They were brief, and much too vague. Such memories of playing outside, or her father reading her a book, or her mother...wrestling with her? Helping her with experiments? No, she wasn’t sure. She remembered something like a chemistry set, and she remembered playing with her mom, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t remember the fainted image, let alone shape of her mother. At least with her father, she remembered a few key features, like his red beard and his wide posture.

She grit her teeth and shook her head. If I dwell too much on this, I’ll give myself a headache, she told herself, before trying the handle of the door:

It wasn’t locked.

Surprised, but undeterred, she stepped through.

Inside, it was dark and chilly, but she could make out many of the same furniture that she remembered there being: the rocking chair, the fireplace, the dinner table, and the hallway.

The whole while, her heart thumped.

To think that this field trip would lead me to my old home, she thought as she walked through the halls. In her old room, she spotted the same bed that she used to have. Of course, her stuffed animals were back at the duplex, but just knowing that parts of the past remained…

Her eyes started to well up. Either from the cold or an overwhelming longing for what once was, she couldn’t tell, but she wiped her face regardless.

I should leave. There’s nothing for me here anymore, she told herself, then walked back out of the hallway. Before she left the house, she went over to the fireplace and crouched down. Despite there being nothing in there, she ran her palms over it as if there were a fire.

“Oh, maybe if I go find a pile of twigs, I could light this, but I’ve never been able to start any fires by rubbing sticks together...if only I had a lighter.”

She closed her eyes and imaged a fire. It didn’t make her any warmer, but the image helped ease her mind.

“Fire can keep us warm. I sometimes wonder if I’m fire, but I don’t think so. I burn, but I’m neither the flame that warms others nor boiling water used to make a good meal. Instead, I’m smoke, or steam. I don’t know how to explain it,” she shook her head. “What would have happened had I never left this place? Would I have lived my entire life isolated? Would it have been for the best? I have a sister now, by the way. Her mom taught her that ‘to love is to forgive’ and, well...anyway, she’s pretty cool. She’s got a girlfriend, and...I should probably get going.”

There was more that she wished to say, but no other words would come. So instead, she stood back up and began to walk back. No more than two steps later did she trip from something metallic on the floor. She landed flat on her face, and when she got back up, she turned and noticed the rug.

“Huh? What could have tripped me?” She asked before pulling the rug away to reveal a latch to a trap door.

How long has this been here? How have I never noticed it when I was little? She wondered before pulling back the latch to find a ladder leading down into the pitch-black area.

“I REALLY wish I had a lighter,” she complained.

Down the ladder, she found herself in a small basement area. Unable to see a thing, she felt around. At one point, she bumped into a table, but continued forward. At the far end of the room was a door. This is getting tedious already, she thought and groaned, but opened the door anyway.

Inside, there was a faint glow of light, much better than the previous room. Light from outside leaked through a small glass window found near the edge of the wall, close to the ceiling.

There was a table to her right, but nothing on it. Charts on the wall next to the table, but she couldn’t tell what any of them signified.

To her left…

No way, she trembled before the sight of a large, metallic suit of armor which stood up against the wall. That such a thing would be kept down there, it was unbelievable. Yet all she could do was believe it. She stepped over to the armor. It didn’t look old or weathered. She ran her fingers across its sleek frame. The visor at the helmet had a deep red hue to it, similar to her hair. But that aside, it looked much too large for her to fit into.

However, when she felt the palm of the armor, its felt more leathery than metallic. Not only that, but it began to shrink in place. Or rather, folded up and compressed until it resembled a small, steel cube. It fit into her pocket.

I still don’t really understand, but I’ll take it with me. Maybe Mac can figure it out, she thought.

When she made her way outside, she pulled the cube out and examined it. There was no indication on it how to open it back up. No buttons, no lights, no indentations. She tried various things to get it open again, like shaking it and running her fingers along in different patterns. Nothing. It was only when she pressed the cube against her chest without even thinking that a silver, gel-like substance shot out from the cube and coiled around her as the rest of the cube expanded.

“What the –” She gasped, but it was only a few seconds later that she found herself within the armor.

She tried running around in the armor but felt much resistance and her movements were slow and heavy. When she tried to crouch down and do a leap forward, instead, heat emitted from the boots of the armor and she floated into the air. She was about as high up as the roof of the cabin. She floated in air for a couple of minutes before the heat died down and she landed back on the ground. When she traced her palm, the armor returned to being a cube.

Just as soon as she pocketed it, the phone in her other pocket vibrated. It was a text from Mac asking where she was.

“Where are you guys at?” She texted turn.

“We’re almost back at the bus. Are you going to make it?” He replied immediately.

“How long do you think it will take for the bus to get back to school?”

“About three hours. Long ride.”

“Huh. Maybe I’ll meet you back at school.”

“How?! You’re going to get in trouble, too, if they find out you’re missing from your trip.”

Crap. Now what?

“K. I’ll be with you guys in a few minutes.”

“How?!”

“Stop asking that. See you up there.”

She received another text, but she was confident that she didn’t need to see it. All that was important was getting back up on that trail. Which meant she’d have to take a leap of faith…

Meanwhile, the rest of the group headed back to the lot where the bus was situated. Before they boarded the bus, Dike went around to make sure everyone was there.

Should I stall or something? Mac wondered, but it was already too late: Dike had counted everyone up.

“Where’s Nemesis?” She asked, hands on her hips.

The whole group looked around and at each other but shook their head and shrugged.

“Yo!” Came a familiar boisterous voice.

Mac turned and saw Nemesis, with her jeans torn up with visible scrapes and bruises.

“Where have you been? I told everyone not to stray from the group,” Dike leaned over, her hands still on her hips.

“Sorry, had to go take a leak. You know, the authentic nature experience,” Nemesis explained. Mac already knew that was a total lie, but the question remained whether or not Dike would buy such an excuse.

“I see. Try to hold it next time. It can get very dangerous if you’re not careful.”

“Oh, I know. I fell down the path,” Nemesis just flat out admitted. Mac’s jaw hung low.

Dike shook her head.

“For someone who doesn’t like troublemakers, you sure seem to get yourself into trouble, don’t you?” She asked.

“Wrong. I don’t like bullies,” Nemesis corrected.

“Well, glad you’re safe. All right, group! Let’s huddle in!”

Everyone gathered onto the bus and took their seats. On the bus ride home, Nemesis turned to Mac and whispered.

“I have something really cool to show you at your place.”

“This better be worth my time,” he snickered.

Meanwhile, back at Back Bay City, in a seaside manor sat an office surrounded by red velvet curtains over the walls. A man with thinning, dark blue hair and a suit and tie named Trevor Treble sat behind his desk, smoking a fat blunt and blowing rings with the smoke he inhaled. He was a businessman, first and foremost, one who oversaw the production and distribution of such drugs named Moo-Moo and Meow-Meow. Then, there was his investment into Back Bay’s police force. He hardly needed goons when he knew they would just look the other way on his operations.

While lost in the haze of his blunt, he held up a stack of papers on his desk. They showed the quarterly report of all sales. There seemed to be a discrepancy in one particular sector.

He rang a bell on his desk and a tall man with long, black and white hair that shot up entered Trevor’s office.

“Yes, Don Treble?” He asked.

“Forte, why did the dealers in sector Q experience a drop in sales last quarter?” He asked in his musty voice.

“They said something about being run out of their sector after being beaten up by some girl.”

“Really now?” He tapped the blunt against his desk. He didn’t have an ashtray, nor did he believe in such things. “She must have been some big deal to make those three run with their tails between their legs.”

“I couldn’t say, Don Treble,” Forte, Don Treble’s trusty aide, replied.

Trevor Treble wheezed up a fit of laughter, followed up by a series of hacking coughs.

“Well, now. Things got interesting, haven’t they? Too bad I hate interesting,” he growled, then stamped out the rest of his blunt against the desk, “ask those three about her. Find out as much as you can. Then, fire them. We can’t be having some chickens running around in our business of bulls, now can we?”

“I suppose not.”

“Good. I want this girl found. Then, I want one of our good kitties to send her a message. It’s about time she learned how cutthroat business really can be.”

“Yes, Don Treble.”

[gatheringbones]

["At the end of August in 1981, I found myself in a small town in Arkansas, where I knew no Lesbians other than my new lover, Lynn. I wanted it that way. We were living in hiding from my armed and vengeful ex-lover who had abused me for four years and had threatened both of us with deadly harm. This was five years before the publication of Kerry Lobel's ground-breaking book, Naming the Violence: Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering. I knew I had been battered, but I did not understand how deeply I had been injured.

I only knew that I seemed to have saved my life at the cost of my sanity. I jumped at loud and not-so-loud noises. A frown from a stranger could reduce me to tears. I was afraid to bathe if I was alone in the apartment. I relived every word of every fight in relentless flashbacks. I had blocked much of the unbearable pain of the previous four years out of my consciousness at the time, in order to cope with immediate danger. Now that I was "safe" it all came flooding back. To escape, I watched TV compulsively, avoiding anything violent—nature shows were my favorites—and I read science fiction. Having lost faith in women as well as men, I was a serious candidate for a species-change operation.

Luckily, at some point in that bleak winter, I read a magazine article on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in Vietnam Vets, and I recognized all my symptoms. I had a name for my suffering, and 1 knew I was not "crazy." I'd felt so much guilt and anger towards myself for not being okay, that is, my old self, since I was "free." Now I knew healing would take time and effort, and I gave myself permission to not be normal right away. Also, seeing how much my condition resembled that of war survivors helped break down some of my denial about the hell I'd been through.

Still, I had no guidance on how to recover from PTSD. I followed only the dimmest instincts. First, I began to read accounts by survivors of any serious trauma. These people became my invisible support group. I found myself drawn especially to stories of political prisoners and concentration camp survivors. Although my experience was not like theirs, these were the people I felt would understand how my will had been sapped and my strengths twisted, how the smallest acts of resistance and mere endurance had needed all my wits and courage. Bruno Bettleheim in his chapters called "Behavior in Extreme Situations" (The Informed Heart) finally answered the question I'd put to myself every 44 hour since my escape: "How could I have been so stupid?" He made me realize that under abuse, especially the combination of intermittent threats, unpredictable violence and constant psychological torture, everyone responds differently, but everyone changes fundamentally, and everyone has their breaking point.

One day as I sat reading at the kitchen table, I looked out the window at the small yard beside our duplex apartment, and I began to imagine growing a garden there in the spring. It seemed like a highly improbable idea: the area was very small, steep, bare of everything but gray shale and orange clay, and the house shaded it part of the day. But the notion of a garden took root strongly. For the first time in several years I had something pleasant to anticipate.

I wrangled my landlady's permission to put in a garden. Then I mailed off postcards for seed catalogs. I persuaded an acquaintance who owned a truck to bring me a load of cedar slabs discarded by a local sawmill, and I used these to construct two frames, about four feet by six feet, and two even smaller ones, just three feet by four feet. By this time Lynn and I had saved enough money to buy a very old VW bug, so we drove to a nearby creekbank and filled bushel baskets with rich bottom dirt, which we dumped into the frames to make raised beds about four inches deep.

To supplement the tiny growing space, Lynn scavenged large cans from the cafeteria of the hospital where she worked. I painted them a hopeful green, filled them with soil and placed them along the sidewalk below our porch. Old-timey "Corn-row Beans," originally bred to tolerate the shade of cornfields, grew up strings tied to the roof and bore prolifically.

I didn't have much money from my SSI income to spend on garden gadgets, so I made do. I wove a trellis for my peas from six-pack rings liberated from a liquor store trash bin. (I can testify that this plastic never biodegrades—the pea fence survives to this day.) I got some more bushel baskets from the local grocery, painted them with non-toxic preservative and lined them with garbage bags after snipping a few drainage holes in the bottom. Placed around a small stone patio above the garden, these became containers for large plants.

The garden rewarded me before the first mouthful of early spinach was harvested. It moved me out of the gloomy apartment and into the sunshine, watering can in hand. It motivated me to interact with people and to occasionally risk asking for help. I found out they would usually say yes. My attention was now focused on the future, not the bitter, unchangeable past. At night when the flashbacks threatened to roll, when I dreaded the dreams I might have, I put myself to sleep with 45 detailed plans of my next crop rotation. I found out I could learn a major new skill, a little at a time. I could do things right, even come up with ingenious solutions to seemingly impossible difficulties. And when I did things wrong, plants were most often forgiving. The plants themselves were a tremendous source of inspiration. Talk about survivors! They defied every book written about their needs, often thriving with too little sun, too little water, and too little soil. At the end of a year, I could easily stick my shovel in the dirt up to the hilt, where only four inches of top soil had previously existed; compost and the action of the roots had created friable loam out of shale and clay.

When I experienced failure with gardening, it was never the kind of disaster I'd grown to associate with mistakes. We didn't go hungry, because other crops outstripped our expectations. My lover didn't beat or berate me, but sympathized and helped. The garden was important to us economically, because we'd both lost almost everything we owned in our escape. Luckily, in southern Arkansas, it's possible to garden yearround. The garden gave me precious, desperately needed tastes of success. Disabled, unemployed, I still felt like an important contributor to the household. I even had food to give away sometimes, and that was a delicious feeling.

Gardening was not the only factor in my recovery, but it was an important one. I didn't grow up with abuse, but battering and similar traumas can expand minutes into hours, years into decades, until four years feel like most of a lifetime. At the end of a year and a half of gardening, I no longer felt as if I'd spent the majority of my life in a battering situation. Healing had acquired a new definition for me: I didn't insist on having the old me back; I'd mourned her long and well. I accepted the fact that some injuries are too severe to be made whole, that I might never be the same again. But I began to actually like and trust the me I am now, scars and all. As my garden taught me, I must make do with what I am. I have discovered that my flaws are not fatal and my successes are greater than I'd hoped for. So far I have not gone hungry, and I even have something to offer."]

Amy Edgington, Gaining Ground, from Garden Variety Dykes: Lesbian Traditions In Gardening, Herbooks, 1994

[jomiddlemarch]

Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary

Gwen had been reading the latest issue of Harper’s so intently she was slightly startled when the librarian, Miss Sparrow, approached the table with its pools of gold light beneath the green-shaded lamps. She prepared to reassure the woman that she hadn’t wrinkled any of the pages and that her own subscription was due to begin soon, so she wouldn’t be monopolizing the magazine going forward. She was taken aback when the other woman spoke first, without any polite excuse made for disturbing Gwen’s reading.

“I’m going to close the library early because of the storm, so I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave now,” Miss Sparrow said. It seemed quite queer to think of her so formally, for she had a friendly face, heart-shaped with a pointed chin, and bright brown eyes behind her spectacles.

“I thought being a hardy New Englander, I’d be prepared for a Minnesota winter, but I must admit, I think I may have underestimated what I’d be up against,” Gwen said. “I’ll have to hope my boots and muffler are up to the walk to my room at the boarding house.”

“Are you at Mrs. Marsh’s place?”

“Yes, you know it?” Gwen said.

“I do and I must tell you, you can’t possibly get there tonight. You’ll freeze in that thin coat of yours and those boots won’t last a block. This is shaping up to be a real blizzard, the dangerous kind.”

“Shall I put up here then? I assure you, I’ve slept in worse conditions than a public library’s reading room and I shan’t run amok in the stacks or climb the bookcases,” Gwen said, smiling as she recalled how often the high school students clambered atop the shelves in the alcove of the assembly room, how Miss Bangeter quelled their antics with one regal glance.

“No, that won’t do. The furnace gets turned down too low over night,” Miss Sparrow said, her forehead furrowing in a most endearing way. She tapped her forefinger and thumb together absently and pressed her lips together. “You’ll simply have to come home with me.”

“Come home with you?”

“I live just across the street in a little duplex apartment and I can set you up on my sofa, as I haven’t a proper guest room,” she said. “I can even lend you a spare nightgown and toothbrush, though the nightgown may be a little long. And before you say you can’t impose, you can and you must and you simply shall and before you say you don’t even know my first name, it’s Katherine but only my great-aunts Agatha and Hester call me so. My friends and family call me Kit.”

“I’m Gwen, Gwendolyn Fowler, lately of Boston, the new English teacher at the high school, and I’m very shortly going to be deeply in your debt,” Gwen answered, closing the magazine, letting her hand rest on the glossy cover.

“I think you overestimate the comfort of my sofa and underestimate how dull a blizzard can be when you’re on your own,” Kit, not-Katherine, said with a delightfully roguish grin revealing an unexpected pair of dimples. “I don’t expect you to entertain me in exchange for lodging, but it will be awfully nice to have some company, especially for dinner. Breakfast and lunch alone can be all right, but you really feel solitary sitting down to a single place setting—it’s enough to make a girl give up on cooking anything halfway decent and eat nothing but sandwiches and cocoa with a book. Speaking of which, bring that magazine along—I know you didn’t finish reading it and I haven’t had a chance to take a peek. Harper’s is my favorite.”

“Is the one magazine enough if we’re possibly going to be snowed in?” Gwen asked. It had happened from time to time, back in Boston, but then she had been a child and only had to worry about how many times she could sled down the hill before her mother called her in.

“It doesn’t exactly rival Deep Valley’s entire collection, but my bookcase is fairly well-stocked and there are teetering stacks of books in every room,” Kit said. “One can’t claim to be a good librarian without living in what constitutes a fire hazard.”

“I haven’t even got that excuse,” Gwen said.

“Oh, I think you do. High school English teachers can surely be lumped in with librarians when it comes to an excess of books,” Kit said. “I just wouldn’t expect yours to be as organized. But come now, we mustn’t dawdle any longer, or we will be forced to bunk down here and I have the makings of an apple crumble at home.”

“It sounds like Heaven,” Gwen said.

“I’ll let you decide once you taste the crumble and see what you think of the lumpy sofa,” Kit laughed.

The sofa was lumpy, though the sheets were freshly laundered and smelled of lavender. The crumble was delicious, though it missed a custard, but Kit felt they’d be better off saving the milk and eggs for breakfast. What sounded like Heaven had turned out to be divine, because they tumbled headfirst into the kind of friendship each had longed for and never before found, of equal parts sympathy and humor, warmth and affection and just enough challenge to lend every meeting an degree of excitement and every parting a bittersweet pang, the immediate anticipation of the next meeting, the next smile, the next and never last cup of tea, the teapot snug in the undeniably ugly cozy Gwen knitted for it, which Kit never once left off.

[headheartbellarke]

LIGHT A FIRE IN MY EYES | Owen Patrick Joyner

PAIRING(S): Charlie Gillespie’s sister!Reader x Owen Patrick Joyner

WARNING(S): fluff, angst

WORDS: 3.4k

SUMMARY: where Y/N is charlie gillespie’s sister, and while living with him and owen, unexpected feelings rise up. (im so bad at these)

READER’S POV

    A rhythmic knock on my bedroom door breaks me out of my trance. I push my glasses further up my nose and close my physics textbook, dropping my pencil between the pages to bookmark it. Pushing myself off the chair, I stretch my arms above my head – I’ve been sitting at my desk for about five hours now, trying to revise everything for my exam tomorrow. I walk over to my door, and unlock it, and I’m greeted by my brother, Charlie. He takes in my appearance and frowns.

     “I thought you were still sleeping. When did you get up?”

     “Uhh…” I trail off, looking behind me at the clock mounted on the wall opposite to me. 10:30 AM.  “About 5, yeah.”

    I turn back and notice my brother widening his eyes. “Are you okay, little one?”

    I’m not a morning person, under no circumstances ever. Growing up, I’ve always been the last person to wake up – Charlie being the first. So, I guess it’s awfully unusual for him to hear this.

     “This is college, honey. You wouldn’t know.” I shrug at him and he grins. I’ve always hated the fact that he got a free pass from college, since he’s an actor.

    That is also the reason why he’s here. We grew up in Canada – Charlie, me, my two other older brothers and my twin sister Meghan. Growing up, Charlie, Meghan and I were inseparable – since we’re closer in age – Charlie’s only two years older than Meghan and me. But I had to leave home for college – I got into Caltech, and that was not an opportunity I was about to give up, even though Charlie protested so many times that I’m apparently the baby of the house and I shouldn’t go to another country alone.

    Now, he’s living with me – he is shooting for his show, Julie and The Phantoms (proud sister, here), and they have a couple of scenes and some recording to do in LA, so he’s staying in my apartment for a week, along with his friend, co-star and roommate back in Vancouver, Owen. Previously, they lived with me for more than a month when they had to go through musical bootcamp or something for the sake of the show. (So proud.)

    That was also when I’d developed a massive crush on Owen.

    Charlie was living with me for a good two weeks when, one day, he took me out to meet the rest of the cast. (Who were all lovely, by the way.) On the drive there, he told me that Owen had been living in a hotel since he’s originally from Oklahoma, and that Charlie’s thinking of asking him to come live with us, if I was okay with that. Of course, I had said yes. I had ample space in my duplex apartment and living alone is boring. So, Charlie introduced me to Owen and we immediately hit it off. Of course, I thought that he was incredibly attractive when we met. But I meet a lot of attractive people at university.

    Then, we started living together, and I realized how amazing Owen actually is. He’s an absolute dork – but he’s also funny, very kind, thoughtful, compassionate, altruistic and so, so nice. Both of us have a lot in common, and there’s always been this unsaid, unacknowledged chemistry between us that a lot of the other cast members had picked up on. (Not my brother, though. He would have killed Owen.) We had so much fun when we were together – he turned everything into an adventure. The best part was that I got to be myself, completely, whenever I was around him. I got to talk about whatever I wanted with him – he never, ever judged me.

    Before they went to Vancouver when production for the show began, we had a last night out with the rest of the cast and a bunch of family members – except the kids. We went to this bar near my college. I was so, so drunk and then I suddenly started feeling queasy and Owen offered to take me home since Charlie was in the same position. There was so much traffic and Owen and I kept singing whatever song was on the radio to pass the time – LA traffic – when we were both leaning across our seats and we started kissing. I remember feeling like I would burst from the happiness and the softness, the affection, the admiration that he had in his eyes when he looked at me.

    Of course, I fell asleep pretty soon after the traffic dissipated and woke up next morning to find him packing for his trip. That was when I’d realized that no matter how much I liked him, we could never be together. First of all, long distance relationships almost never work out, and secondly, he’s my brother’s best friend. That was why I chose to just give him a quick hug goodbye and head to college – without even bothering to drop them off at the airport, or even talking to him.

    He texted and called a couple of times after that, too. But I never responded, never even opened any of his texts – because I knew that once I do that, I would definitely call him. That went on for a week, and the only time we spoke was when he’d texted me from Savannah’s phone: why are you ignoring me? I texted back all the reasons why we couldn’t ever be together, and I didn’t hear from him for another week, until Charlie called me the day before yesterday, telling me that they have a couple of scenes to do in LA, along with some recording stuff, and they’ll stay with me for a few days. I had to approve, or else Charlie might figure out everything.

    They arrived yesterday, and I think that I’ve done a pretty good job of ignoring him so far.

    Charlie’s voice breaks me out of my train of thoughts. “You have exams or what?”

    I nod. “Applied physics, tomorrow. Are you going out?” I ask, pointing at his dark blue jeans.

     “Madi and I are writing this song together. You’ll love it.”

    I smile at him. “If I’m not the first one to hear it –”

    He hums, a chuckle escaping him. I lean against the doorframe, as he continues, “Owen just woke up. He doesn’t start his scenes until tomorrow, so I told him to take care of you today, while I’m away.”

    I ignore the way my heart skips a beat at the mere mention of his name and flatten my lips. “I’m 19, Charlie, I can –”

     “Take care of yourself, blah blah blah. I don’t care.”

    I roll my eyes, and playfully shove him forward. He stumbles a few steps backwards and furrows his brows at me. “Ouch!”

     “Are you taking my car?”

    He nods. “Where –”

     “In the magnetic key holder on the fridge.”

     “Okay, sis.” He smiles at me, leaning forward to ruffle my hair – which makes it even messier than it already was. “Go away!” I grumble, trying to pat his hand away. “Never!” He calls out, turning toward the kitchen to grab the keys.

    I shake my head and laugh. “Love you!”

    He shouts back, without looking behind at me. “Love you most!”

****

    The delicious smell of pancakes reminds me of the fact that I haven’t eaten since last night. I drag my feet to the kitchen, mentally preparing myself for the person I’m about to encounter in there.

     “Uh, hi…” I hesitantly call out, entering the kitchen – and notice a very shirtless Owen, with his very shirtless back turned towards me. He turns around at the sound of my voice, and a few strands of golden blonde hair fall across his eyes. I long to reach my hand across and push those away.

    Instead, he himself does that as his eyes flit over me, and a look of pain flashes through his eyes. I hate that I’m the cause of that.

     “I was wondering how you would ignore me when we’re living in the same apartment.”

     “I deserve that.” I walk over to the stove to stand beside him.

    He ignores me and goes back to flipping golden brown pancakes which smell amazing, but all I can focus on is the curve of his back, the hollow space between his collarbones, and the way his hands grip on the pan a little too hard. I feel a warmth course through my body and find myself missing the way he used to wrap his arms around me from behind in the mornings when Charlie was still asleep.

     “Owen,” I whisper, and he inhales sharply at that. “Please. I don’t want things to be like this – I don’t want us to be like this.”

    He uses his spatula to lift the pancake and puts it atop other pancakes on a plate beside the stove and turns it off. He turns around to face me, biting his lip and I think I just had an aneurysm because of the intensity of his gaze.

    He sighs, leaning against the counter. “Y/N. You made it pretty clear that there would never be an ‘us.’”

     “I know. But we can still be friends, right? Like we were before… everything.”

     “See, that’s the thing. I can’t. Y/N, do you have any idea what you’ve put me through for the past two weeks?” He snaps.

     “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?” I reply, hotly. “Owen, it broke me inside to ask you to stay away. Do you have any idea how much I care about you?”

     “No! I don’t, because you don’t talk to me, Y/N.”

     “I told you, there is no point in doing long distance –”

     “That’s bullshit, Y/N, and you know it, too. I think you’re just too scared to be with me because you think that I’d break your heart, leave you alone or hurt you. But that’s the thing, Y/N – I won’t do any of that to you, because that’s exactly what you’re doing to me.” He crosses his arms across his chest.

    I breathe out shakily, running a hand through my curls. “That’s not true –”

    Owen scoffs. “Please, Y/N. I know you.”

    I lower my eyes from his because I can’t handle the way he’s looking at me.

     “Y/N, do you know how fucking hard the past week’s been for me? I can’t even talk to anyone about it, because the only person I wanna talk to is your brother and we all know what will happen if I do that. He’s my best friend, and I’ve been lying to him for weeks, pretending that I like this hairdresser, when in reality, I’m head over heels for his sister. I can’t tell him that I can’t stop thinking about her, and that she’s the only person that can calm me down when I get anxious on set. I can’t tell him that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and it’s killing me inside to not talk to her!”

    He finishes, breathing out heavily. I look at his eyes and notice that they’re gleaming.

     “Wait, what hairdresser?”

    He scoffs, annoyed. “Seriously, Y/N?”

    I shrug and breathe deeply, trying to stop myself from taking his hands in my own. “You know, there are so many guys at school that ask me out, but I can’t go out with any of them, because guess what, they’re not you. I like you so much, Owen, so, so much, but I can’t do anything about it – because you’re right. I’m scared. I’m terrified that you’ll leave me, because I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a really long time. I’m so scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize that I’m not who you want anymore. I’m scared that maybe you’ll hurt me or meet someone else in Vancouver. I’m scared about so many things because that’s exactly how much I care about you, Owen!”

    I take a step further and we are standing mere inches apart. I can feel him breathe out raggedly and see the curve of his nose and his darkened eyes flickering to my lips.

     “I would never, ever do that to you, Y/N. You mean a lot to me. Please, please believe me.” He whispers out, and I tell myself to stop, to turn back, to go into my room but instead I just stand there and watch him exhale out, and I know he’s feeling anxious. I lift a hand to his face and cup his cheek in the palm of my hand and he leans his face onto my hand, resting his right hand over mine. The gesture calms the both of us down, and I know, in that moment, that I believe him. That he, us – is a risk worth taking.

     “Your hands are so cold.” He whispers. I nod. “Yours are warm.”

    Both of us stand there, in the kitchen, trying to make sense of what just happened – trying to hold on to this moment. A silence engulfs the both of us, as I sort through my thoughts.

     “Owen,” I whisper. He flicks his eyes to mine. “Promise me you won’t do any of that.”

    He raises his left hand, jutting out his little finger. I raise my other hand too, and he wraps his little finger around mine and whispers back, “Pinkie promise.”

     “Okay.” I whisper, neither of us daring to uncurl our fingers or look anywhere else.

     “Promise me that you wouldn’t leave me for some future tech billionaire.”

    I scrunch my face up at that. “What? No!”

     “Promise me you’d call –”

     “Every single day, Owen. You too.”

    Both of us nod together, and he lifts his other hand to tuck a curl that had previously escaped from my actually-messy-and-not-cute bun. “You’re so beautiful.”

    I smile, and a tear escapes my eyes – Owen rubbing it away with his thumb. I lean forward, standing on my tiptoes and rest my hands against his bare chest for support as I press my lips to his. He smiles against the kiss, and I feel as if a zoo has gone wild in my stomach. I feel warmth and happiness course through my veins as Owen deepens the kiss, the intense longing in the both of us for each other clawing its way out to the surface. It’s almost as if I’m drinking water for the first time in a week. He tastes like banana pancakes, chocolate syrup and everything good in the world. I press myself against him, wrapping my arms around neck while he does the same around my torso. It frightens me a little how well our bodies fit against each other – but it makes me feel strong knowing that I have an amazing person who genuinely cares about me.

****

CHARLIE’S POV

    Charlie unlocked the door to his sister’s apartment, mentally noting to remind her of the fact that her car desperately needs a wash. He enters the foyer, and drops the keys in a bowl, kicking off his shoes.

    Suddenly, he pauses, noticing how incredibly quiet the apartment is – which is unlike Y/N. She always has music blasting or the TV running – she hates the quiet. He quickly walks into the living room and almost screams in surprise.

    His little sister and his best friend are curled up on the sofa, their backs towards him. Y/N is lying on Owen’s chest and she has an arm wrapped around his torso while Owen’s arms are interlocked at the front, holding her against his body. Their tangled legs peek from underneath the quilt that Charlie and Y/N’s mother knit for her youngest daughter last Christmas. She laughs at something that Owen whispers into her ear, and he presses a kiss to her forehead, and they look at each other with so much adoration that Charlie has to look away.

    He sighs, mentally cursing himself for being so, so stupid. How could he have ignored the signs? Charlie remembers Y/N and Owen meeting, both in a daze, both smiling a little too much and Y/N walking with a skip in her steps. He remembers them talking for hours on end, binging Brooklyn 99 on weekends, and always hanging out with each other whenever they went to the same parties. He remembers that morning three weeks ago when he’d woken up late, and gone to the kitchen only to find the duo springing apart from each other, both erupting in a flurry of coughs and laughs, as if he’d just walked on them robbing a bank – Owen had explained that he had apparently broken a glass. He remembers the way Owen would look at her, as if she had just done something miraculous. He remembers the way Y/N would look at his best friend, as if he was made of everything good in the world.

    Most of all, he remembers how Owen sulked whenever he was alone back in Vancouver. He remembers how Owen constantly declined to go out with that cute hairdresser. He remembers how Owen sometimes seemed out of it. He remembers how Owen would sprint whenever Charlie called his sister. He remembers how Owen would keep checking his phone every few minutes in between takes.

    Charlie also remembers his sister asking about how Owen is when they talked on the phone, and how her voice seemed like she was asking something that was forbidden, something that was evil. He remembers how she would always hang up the phone whenever she heard Owen’s voice. He remembers her always declining his invites to go to Vancouver.

    How could he have been so dumb? The signs were right there. He lived with Owen, for god’s sake! Charlie feels an array of emotions. He’s always hated Y/N’s choice in men, despised anyone putting their hands on his baby sister’s body.

    But, to see them like this – to see Y/N look so safe, so comfortable in Owen’s arms, he can’t help but feel relief flood into his system. Because he knows his best friend, and he knows what kind of person he is. And now, he thinks just how much sense they make together. Sure, Owen is kind of stupid, reckless, impulsive, and clumsy – but so is Y/N – well, she’s not stupid, he thinks. She’s the smartest person in their family. But she has a fire within her – and his best friend matches that fire. Charlie thinks of the fact that they complement each other so nicely, both are caring, passionate, and kind-hearted. Of course, they would fall for each other. It just makes so much sense – they make so much sense.

    Still, Charlie feels hurt that neither of them bothered to tell him about it. (even though he won’t admit it, it’s understandable, really – considering the way he’s bugged his sister about her previous relationships.)

    He clears his throat and the duo on the couch jump apart, both flushed and with their eyes widened. Owen stands up, moving away from couch, while Y/N looks at her brother as if he’s a ghost.

    A silence falls over the apartment. Y/N finally says, “How’d you – how’d you get in?”

    He shrugs. “I had a spare key.”

    Owen looks between his girlfriend and his best friend, with widened eyes. “Charlie, I’m so sorry –”

    Suddenly, Charlie laughs, swatting at the air. “Pfft. You think I’m gonna be the weird brother who kills his best friend for dating his sister? Come on, this isn’t a TV show. I’m actually really happy for you guys – I ignored all the signs these past weeks, but I see them now. Of course, it’s really weird for me, but I love the both of you so much. Owen, relax, I’m not gonna kill you. Dude. Just don’t kiss or anything in front of me, cause that’s gross. Ew. You know what, don’t do that at all. And I’ll kill you, Owen, if you ever hurt her, I swear. I’ll put poison in your waffles. I just don’t understand why –”

    Charlie is cut off by his sister tackling him in a hug. He wraps his arms around her body, as she whispers, “I love you, big brother.”

    He murmurs, “Love you most, little one.” He catches Owen’s eye who looks at him with gratefulness and a little smile.

 **** 

READ ON AO3 WITH OC!

drop an ask or a message to be in my jatp taglist!! requests also open <3

[suckitsurveys]

Do you have a common first name?   It’s more common now than it was when my I was born. I never met another Hannah until high school.

Do you like your middle name or your first name more?   I like them both but I wouldn’t want to go by middle name.

What year would/did you turn 21?   I turned 21 in 2010.

What was popular when you were a kid?   Barbies, Beanie Babies, jelly sandals…< we were kids at the same time so yeah.

Do you wear more rings or necklaces?   Necklaces, but if my wedding and engagement rings fit I’d wear those every day.

Have you ever been engaged?   ^

Can you see your veins through your skin?   In certain spots, yeah.

Do you have a certain song you sing aloud often?   Tons. Tik Tok has ruined my brain haha.  

Do you concern yourself with what’s in?   I mean, I usually keep up with stuff because of Tik Tok haha.  

Do you worry about having good grammar online? I don’t worry about it, it just happens naturally?

Do you know anyone with a lazy eye?   Yes.

Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid?   Yeah, not til I was 8 though.

Would you rather live in an apartment or a duplex?   Neither.

Have you ever seen Boondock Saints?   No.

Do you like spicy chips?   Yeah. 

Do you have any ‘different’ keychains on your keys/purse?   What would be considered “different”? 

Do you collect pins?   Sure.

What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore?   Fleetwood Mac.

Do you wear more pink or yellow?   I guess technically Yellow. I have a yellow purse and a bag with yellow sunflowers I carry to work daily.

What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house?   The last thing I watched at house that wasn’t mine or my family’s was a John Mulaney stand up special at Sarah’s house in Boston in August.

Have you ever been out of the state you were born in?   Oh yes.

Do you have any tattoos on your arms?   Yes.

Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat?   I have a black cat! Her name is Friday the 13th.

When was the last time you felt jealous?   I mean, I am jealous of people who own pools.

What’s the last thing you bought besides food/drink?   Jojo Siwa tickets lol.

What album is the last song you listened to from?   I forget what song I listened to last.

Do you know what the word lumiere means?   Isn’t it “light” in French?

Do you own a tea pot?   Yes, and an electric kettle.

Who scheduled your last doctor visit?   I did.

What’s the last video game you played?   It’s been a while. I’ve been thinking of getting a switch though. I wanna play animal crossing.

Do you have anything on your wrists right now?   Aside from a tattoo, nothing. I had a hair tie but I just put my hair up a few minutes ago.

Do you have any holiday theme’d socks?   Yeah, several.

What kind of accent do you have?   A Chicago one.

What’s the last funny movie you watched?   I haven’t watched a movie in a long time honestly.

Can you remember your parents’ birthdays?   Yes.

Is there anyone who you just absolutely cannot STAND being around? YES MY FUCKING BROTHER IN LAW.

What is the design on your shirt?   I don’t have one. I am wearing an olive green shirt and a grey hoodie.

Do you know anyone who just flat-out fails at life?   Uh huh.

Are you a Ghoulscout?   I’ve never heard of a Ghoul Scout, that’s really a thing?

Do you know someone who’s just always wrong about everything?   Yes.

Do you make fun of people often?   We all have our moments.  

Do you read your friend’s surveys?   I keep up with a couple people on here.

If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick?   More bats surrounding the bat I already have.

How do you feel about band tattoos?   I’d like one for Vampire Weekend.

Do you know anyone with a glass eye?   I don’t think so.

How much are you willing to pay for a pair of sunglasses?   No more than $15

Did you have a GI Joe when you were a kid?   No.

What is the origin of your last name?   Czech.

What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex?   Eh.  

What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use?   Pulp Riot/Privana Vivids or whatever it is.

What county do you live in?   Cook.

Did/do you ride the bus to and from school?   In elementary I would usually get driven to school and take the school bus home. In high school I’d be driven to school and sometimes would take the public bus home.

Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak?   Chicken.

What is your salad dressing of choice?   Bleu cheese or creamy garlic

Do you know anyone who’s a really funny type of weird?   Sure.

Do you make faces at certain people?   I mean, I have? It’s not like a thing I do?

Is there something you won’t let one of your friends live down?   No.

Are you any good at applying make up?   No.

Do you know anyone who’s hair looks like a wig?   No?

Do you misuse commas?   No.

Have you ever bitten your dentist?   No.

Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult?   No?

Who makes you laugh the most? My husband.

[prolestariwrites]

Open For Me [5]

Fandom: Devil May Cry Characters: Vergil/Reader Tags: Explicit sexual content, First time, First love, Violence, Death, Implied dubcon, Implied drug-induced sex Rating: M Part: 5 of 5

Summary: Vergil's life has been difficult as far back as he can remember, until he meets a young woman who saves his life. Can she save it again when he learns the truth of who he is, and bring him back from a dark and dangerous fate? A five-part story of pre- and post-canon Vergil.

A/N: Thank you to everyone for reading and to my friends @wordborne and @solynacea for their feedback. Please enjoy the final part.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Be gentle with me, for my heart hides so many wounds that never bleed. —Alexandra Vasiliu

There is a man who sits on the bench in the park across the street from your house. That in itself is not terribly strange: the homeless often find refuge in the public space. And he certainly seems homeless, draped in dark clothes that are little more than rags, his posture drawn in as if to hide.

You wouldn't have noticed him at all if it wasn't for the feeling he gives you when you walk by. Something familiar, maybe his shoulders, maybe his hands. It isn't unease, but the opposite: a driving curiosity to find out who is underneath the fabric. You don't see anyone anymore, not really, not since Vergil had left. He had been the only person you ever trusted, and that had been a mistake.

So you don't dare to ask or to offer. You watch him from your window, as he sits day after day. No one even seems to see him there, not even a cop as he strolls by. You start to wonder if he's just a figment of your imagination, until you hear his voice.

You are at your door, keys in hand, checking the mailbox when you hear one word: "No."

Coldness douses your spine and you drop the envelopes on the ground. You are afraid to turn around, not of him, never of him, but afraid he's not really there. It has been so long since you heard that voice, more than two decades, but at once you are a girl of nineteen desperately in love with someone who does nothing but lie. Tears blur your vision as your mind pleads with your body to turn around and look. Just look.

Slowly your head turns. Someone had offered him a bottle of water, and rebuffed they are now moving on. The figure settles back into itself, and your hands are trembling as you stare, waiting for more. But he does not speak again.

A minute slips by, then another. Does he see you? Why is he here, on that bench, that fucking bench outside of your house? You had left the apartment as soon as you were able, moving into this house in the city, the top half of a duplex you bought when the owner died. How did he know, how did he find you? Did he find you, or is this the biggest cosmic joke of the universe? Because you never forgot him, never moved on, prayed for days and nights he would come back until the pain of losing him turned you into stone.

Your feet are moving and you are halfway across the street before you notice. A car blares its horn at you, jolting you back to reality, and you dart to the sidewalk. The figure hasn't moved, not even when you were nearly hit. It can't be him, he would have moved, he would have saved you.

You approach slowly until you are standing in front of him. You realize your purse is gone, dropped somewhere, but your keys are still in your hand, like a weapon. Your eyes dart to the side and you note there is no sword. You can still remember the diamond pattern of the hilt, could draw it in your sleep.

Drawing in a shaking breath, you feel your lip shaking. "Vergil?" you whisper.

There is no answer, not even a movement indicating he had heard you. You swallow painfully, still waiting. "Vergil, is that you?" you ask again, a bit louder this time.

Slowly he stands. You step back, shaking now, his height so familiar that you let out a soft sob. "Vergil?"

"Do you know where it is?"

Blinking rapidly, you shake your head. "What?"

"Do you know where it is?"

His voice is different. Maybe this isn't Vergil? It's harder, rougher, like broken glass.

What has happened to him? "Vergil, come with me. Let me… I live right over there." You reach out and tug on his sleeve. "Vergil, please? Let me help you."

You pull harder and grab his hand. With a gasp you feel it is cold: cold as ice, his skin like stone, and when you look down you must swallow against the sight of gray skin that is cracked and broken. You remember so vividly that night in the kitchen when his face and arms had healed from an attack; in the years following, you had turned this over again and again, realizing he had never once been sick or hurt, no cuts or colds, no flu, no headaches. Demon prince, he had said to you, and some part of you had started to believe it, impossible as it is.

He snatches the hand away and turns. He moves quickly down the street, so quickly that it doesn't register for a moment. "Vergil! Wait!" You take off after him, tears blurring your vision as you try to keep track of the dark fabric. At the next intersection, the light turns green, and he disappears.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You almost ignore the knock on your front door, frowning at the clock. Nothing good ever came after 9:00, that's what your mother always used to say. But when it comes again, firm and insistent, you put your book aside and pull the blanket around your shoulders, cautiously opening the door with the chain still on.

At first you don't recognize him. You frown and take in the tall build, the angles on the handsome face, the dark coat. But when he shifts and you see the glint of his blue eyes and the silver color of his slicked-back hair—silver, not white or blond, he had scolded once—you let go a gasp. "Vergil?"

He doesn't answer, but he doesn't need to. Your fingers fly over the locks until you can swing the door open wide, your mouth open as you stare. It's him for sure, just older now, a bit more… tired? You remember the cold, gray stranger from years ago, but this person is more like the boy you loved in your youth. Something wells in your throat, still filled with disbelief. How long has it been? How many years?

"It's been a while," he murmurs, and the sound of his voice makes you shiver.

"A while," you echo.

"You remembered."

Shaking your head, you say, "Of course I remember you."

"Can I come in?"

You blink, nodding, and step aside. Vergil's eyes sweep through the room as you replace the locks, and you realize how little has changed since he last stepped foot inside your home. A new ottoman, a couple of throw pillows, but other than that it is the same. The only thing that has changed, in fact, is you.

Wiping your hands nervously on your jeans, you ask, "When did you…?"

You don't even know what you are asking, but Vergil still answers. "Two days ago. I had some business to take care of, with my brother."

Your hands clench at your sides, the ease in his voice making the hair on your neck stand on end. "Business with your brother?" you hiss. "You've been gone for years! You left me! And that was you on the bench, wasn't it? That was you, after all that time, you came and sat outside of my house just to go again! Why? Why are you doing this?"

It actually looks like that got through. Vergil blanches, just slightly, and without asking he sits on the couch. His back is straight and he unbuttons his coat, the air of formality only stoking your anger. You've seen him hurt, and sick, and nearly half dead, you've heard him moan and cry and laugh with tears in his eyes. And he wants to sit on your couch as if he's a visitor from the local church making a social call?

"Vergil," you snap, moving in front of him with arms folded. "Tell me the truth."

"The truth." It's his turn to echo you, and to your surprise he reaches up and takes your hand. The little bit of affection catches you off guard, and all you can do is watch his thumb stroke the back of your hand, and remember. Vergil, sitting up late at night, reading books yellow with age as you dozed next to him. Listening to him talk about the places you would visit together, trying to picture him as you could never see yourself. Running his hands through your hair as he talked of his plans, the spark in his eye so lovely that it helped you ignore the lies on the surface that left you so unsettled at times.

You try to tug your hand away gently, but he holds firm. "I owe you an explanation," he says.

The laugh that huffs out of your throat is quick and humorless. "You owe me more than that."

Vergil glances up, and you see there is something different. A part of him you haven't seen since you were barely adults, something that is warm, something you stopped associating with him. "You're right," he answers.

The confession, as small as it is, catches you by surprise. "Since when are you so self-aware?" you say before you can stop yourself.

But he only shakes his head. "This feels strange," Vergil murmurs. You frown as he continues to stroke the skin of your hand, but his expression is thoughtful. "I'm feeling things that… well, I'm feeling, anyway. And I needed to come and see you, that much was certain."

It is sweet to say, even though you don't trust him, not yet. "Where did you go?" you ask.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he replies, glancing away.

"Try me."

Clearing his throat, he asks, "Did you see on the news the story about Red Grave City?"

"Yes," you frown. "What about it?"

Vergil nods, easing back on the couch, and you sit next to him. He talks for a while, the most you've heard from him since you were young, and he goes on about legacies and power and all kinds of fantasy, leaving you enthralled without understanding why. He tells you about the sword he had lost, that belonged to his father—Yamato, you remember the name clearly, another detail he had shared you never really understood. There is hesitation on the next part, something he hides as he glosses over years spent "away", but the pain in his voice keeps you from asking more. He tells you about leaving his human self behind, of becoming a monster, only to be patched back together by his brother. Demon prince, that's what he had called himself, but could any of this be possible? He tells you of heading off to fight off Hell in order to save his son.

"Your son?" you interrupt.

Vergil nods. "It was unexpected."

That… stings. More than you're willing to admit, even to yourself. If he has a son, then that means… You shake your head, not ready to think about that. "You were right. I don't believe any of this."

He seems hurt by that, which catches you off guard. "I don't blame you," replies Vergil, although the cool timbre of his voice contradicts the very uncomfortable look on his face. "But I'm done with all that now. I tried to become something I'm not, and it didn't work. So now I'm going to try to just be…"

"Yourself?"

Vergil chuckles and meets your gaze. "I was going to say human. But I suppose myself is apt."

The corner of his mouth turns up in a smile, and against your better judgment, your heart softens. "I don't understand," you murmur. You reach up and stroke your fingertip against the side of his brow: something he always liked, and as always Vergil sinks just a bit, pressing against your touch.

"I know you don't." He hesitates, and you wonder: is he searching for the right words, or is he convincing himself they are true?

"What do you want?" you murmur.

He swallows, his eyes down. "Another chance? I keep asking for one from everyone." Finally his gaze lifts, and there is a warm sensation inside of you that swells because there is sincerity there.

"I'm older now," you say.

Vergil laughs. "So am I."

"I'm different," you clarify. "You broke my heart. You hurt me."

"I know."

Why is this so easy? It shouldn't be, not after so long, but he looks like the same boy who needed a place to stay on a cold night and felt so warm in your bed. "That was you on the bench, wasn't it?" you murmur.

He looks into your eyes and nods. "I don't know why. I came back and was dying. I needed to find someone, and I followed my instincts. I thought I was finding Yamato, but I found you."

You close your eyes and shake your head. "That night when you healed," you whisper, afraid of hurting him.

"I never wanted you to know," he says.

"Why?"

"It was too dangerous. Things wanted me dead."

The tone in his voice sends a shiver through you. But there is no lie in his eyes, not this time. "And now?"

"It's over, I suppose? I don't know. But… that part is over." Vergil swallows uncomfortably. "There is too much to say, I don't know how to explain it all."

"It's okay," you sigh. "We have time."

On instinct you reach up and press your palm to his face. The last time you did this, you were still barely children, and he had flinched away from your touch. But now he presses against your palm, sinking towards you, and Vergil wraps his arms around you to hold you closely. You press your cheek to his, feeling him tremble. He feels so strong and yet so vulnerable at the same time, and as you card your hand through his hair you wonder just what really happened to him.

You whisper his name and he turns to press his mouth on yours. It is unexpected, but when has Vergil ever not surprised you? Your lashes are wet as you kiss him back, the sensation so familiar it almost hurts. Your heart aches remembering the last kiss, the last touch, the last time you were together. It feels like a lifetime ago; it probably was.

He pulls you closer so you are practically draped over his lap. His hands slide up the back of your shirt, warm and firm and smooth. The last image you have of him as that figure on the street is fading like a dream as you press against his body. The kiss turns more passionate as one hand slips into your hair, and Vergil sighs as you open your lips to slide your tongue along his. The taste of him awakens the part of you that had gone cold and quiet when he left, and you cover his body with yours, needing to be close.

His heart is beating wildly when you push your hands under his shirt and your palm finds his chest. Vergil helps you remove his shirt, and then he pulls off yours. The look on his face is nothing but reverence, but you blush a bit, suddenly self-conscious. "I haven't…"

He looks up at you and nods. "About Nero… it's hard to explain, but I will. Just know I've never been unfaithful to you."

Your brows draw down slightly, wondering what that means. But he pulls you into another kiss, his hands roaming you now, and you decide to leave that until he can explain.

It takes no time for him to remove your bra, and then he turns to lay you back gently. Vergil was never a rough lover, but he could be hard, so the soft care makes this moment feel strange. His mouth presses to your neck, and he whispers how beautiful you are as they travel downward. Your own heart is fluttering by the time he kisses your breast, your eyes sliding closed when his lips tug on your nipple.

Again, he is not demanding, instead soft as he sucks on your flesh. He teases you with his teeth as your body melts with pleasure, his fingers caressing you tenderly. "Do you want to stop?" he asks, his voice strained as he presses his forehead to your chest.

"No, no, of course not," you laugh.

He kneels up and takes hold of the waistband of your leggings. "I love you," he says as he pulls the fabric down. "I never stopped."

You lift your hips and his hands travel back up your bare legs. "I didn't either," you reply.

It goes on like this, slow and quiet, his demanding touch now so tender, his searing kisses a sweet gentleness. He lights your core on fire with his touch, until you are moaning and reaching for him, gasping for more. "Please Vergil… I need you…"

"Open for me." Your eyes close and a tear rolls down your cheek as your thighs spread and he presses inside your body. It's been a long time since the last time you were together, and it's uncomfortable at first; but he uses just as much care now, his shallow thrusts making your back arch from the cushion.

You slide your hands on his chest, fingers searching his skin for any signs of the cracked and gray skin. But he is perfect and whole and solid, and once his hips are flush with yours you look up at him, eyes wide and searching.

He stares down at you almost in awe as he starts to move. You press your hand to his cheek again and he winces, and you see the pleasure and pain in his face. Your palm grows wet as he kisses your skin, and before long he is thrusting with a deep, steady pace that has you both moaning. You twist underneath him as the pleasure mounts, the anticipation building until it snaps inside and your body begins to pulse. Vergil groans, long and loud, and as your muscles tighten around him he spills inside of you. His seed is hot and thick as it fills you up, making you cry out as wave after wave of bliss has you holding to him tightly.

Vergil sinks against you, laying with his head on your chest, another thing from years ago that you remember well. How is it two decades pass and yet it feels like no time at all? You stroke his hair as he grows soft inside you, his hands clenching and releasing against your back as your breathing slows.

"I won't let you go again," he says.

"Okay," you reply. Vergil raises his head and you kiss his lips. "We can start over."

"I have so much to explain," he sighs.

You stroke his cheek. "No more secrets. I am ready to hear it all."

He nods and leans in for another kiss. As he moves over you, you remember the red pendant and how it had pressed against your chest your first night together. That Vergil had been just as strong, and just in need of help. But this time, you are stronger too.

[purplesurveys]

1197

survey by ohsh1t2wksl8

Layers

Layer 1: The Basics

Name: Since there’ve been several people who’ve followed me recently anyway, HI I’m Robyn.

Age: 23.

Birthday: April 21st.

Gender: Female.

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Layer 2: Your Family

Do you have any brothers or sisters? Yes, I have one of each.

Do you have any pets? Yup, two dogs.

Do you still live with your parents? I do. I’m not in a rush.

Do you have any stepparents? Nope.

How many cousins do you have? 11 first cousins. Throwing my second cousins into the mix would dramatically increase the number and I don’t feel like counting rn.

Layer 3: Your Friends

Who is your best friend? Angela and Andi.

Who have you been friends with the longest? Angela and I have been friends for 16 years and it’s stronger as ever these days because of our mutual love for BTS hehe.

What do you like to do with your friends? It really depends! There’s no one thing I like doing most with any of them; as long as I’m with them I’d consider it time well spent.

Do you have more friends online or in real life? Real life. It’s hard to form friendships online once nearly everyone starts becoming younger than you.

What is a good way to make friends with others? One thing I learned is that you have to be okay to initiate, and that’s not really something I like doing all the time.

Layer 4: Your Home

Do you live in a home, apartment, duplex, trailer, etc? I live in a house.

How many rooms are there in your house? There are 4 bedrooms and 5 other kinds of rooms – that’s 2 bathrooms, the living room, dining room, and kitchen.

Is your home large or small? I’d say it’s medium-sized. It’s not small that I feel cramped or inadequate, but it’s also nowhere near a mansion. It’s very comfortable for a family of 5.

What is your favorite room in your house, and why? Rooftop. My family barely goes there (and what a shame they don’t), so it’s a nice place to go to when I want to be alone but can’t get out of the house. Not to mention that it’s open-air and windy there, so whenever I feel as if I’m getting cooked inside I can always depend on the rooftop.

Do you prefer having people over to your house, or would you rather go to theirs? I’d rather go to theirs. Our house is really deep into the village and is a challenge to get to, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the general area.

Layer 5: Can You

Can you fold your tongue into the taco shape? Yes, but that’s the furthest it can go. I can’t really bend or twist it into shapes more complex than that.

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Nah, I lost that ability years ago. I didn’t make the most out of my flexibility back when I still had it.

Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? I never tried.

Can you hold up your end of a physical fight? I bet I can’t.

Can you do any yo-yo tricks? No, I was always terrible at the yo-yo.

Layer 6: Who

Who inspires you the most, and why? I don’t have any ~inspirations. I do like looking up to whoever my current obsession is – be it Rhett and Link, Paramore, BTS, etc. – to help me be happy and have something to smile at, but I try not to let any of them govern every single aspect of my life.

Who helps you maintain your sanity? My best friends. And these days, surprise surprise! – BTS.

Who do you go to most often for advice? Depends on the topic; I always run to either of my best friends. If I need a collective opinion, I go to my college friend group’s group chat.

Who knows you better than you know yourself? At one point it had been Gabie, but *shrug* Nowadays, the person who knows me best would probably be Andi.

Who is someone that you would die or put your life on the line for, no questions asked? Any of my friends.

Layer 7: Do you

Do you still eat sandwiches without the crusts? Nah - I’ve grown to be a fan of the crusts. I used to make my grandma slice them off as a kid or else I wouldn’t even think of touching the sandwich; then something changed as I got older and now I absolutely have to have the crust. At home, I even call dibs on the first and last pieces of bread (the ones that are all crust) whenever we get a new pack of sliced bread.

Do you typically finish your meal at a restaurant, or need to take a container home? I usually ask for it to be packed up for takeout.

Do you pull an Oreo apart in order to eat it? No, I just bite into it.

Do you read a lot of gossip magazines? As a kid/teenager. I’m over that now.

Do you make friends easily? I’m not the biggest social butterfly, but I’m also not super closed off. I’ll be happy to talk to anyone who approaches me.

Layer 8: How Many?

How many people live in your house with you? Four.

How many pets have you had in your lifetime? In my lifetime...I guess a good rough estimate would be somewhere around 10? I’ll never know exactly how many we’ve had since I never kept track of how many goldfish we kept.

How many tries does it take you to become successful at something? Depends. I never learned how to ride a bike even if I’ve pushed myself to practice ever since I was 5, but there are other things I’m able to pick up easily.

How many meals do you eat a day? One, dinner.

How many people can you honestly tolerate? This isn’t really an issue to me haha, I like being around people and my patience around them is usually long.

Layer 9: How

How do you typically get to school or work? I work from home at the moment and probably would for a little while longer; but if things were different, I would be driving myself.

How do you deal with a breakup? When I was going through mine, I was stupidly stubborn at first and refused any form of help. I deactivated all my social media and shut both my best friends out; it even got to a point where mutual friends were beginning to ask Andi where I’ve been as I’ve “disappeared off the face of the Earth” (an actual quote they relayed to me). I cried day in and day out, cried during my shifts, stayed holed up in my room; and I skipped hundreds of meals, sometimes not eating all day. It wasn’t a good place to be in.

But I knew I was on the right path to recovering the moment I reached out to friends again and acknowledged that I needed help. I started to help myself, too; I cut the person off slowly, and I started to look for new things to get into, new hobbies to invest in. I let my friends give me tough love and show me the reality of my situation, and I listened this time around. I don’t know what drove me to make a sudden change in my life but I’m really glad I came around to the decision, because I’m happier than ever these days.

How do you like to help others? All sorts of ways. I always want to make others’ lives a little easier.

How do you know when you’ve found “the one”? I don’t trust that instinct anymore.

How do you sleep in bed? On my side, clutching a pillow. No pillow to hug, no sleep.

Layer 10: What

What do you think happens when we die? That I just fall asleep for a very long time.

What do you do if there’s no toilet paper left on the roll and you’re already peeing? Turn around and hope there is at least a bidet in the stall.

What do you eat most often? Rice.

What toys did you enjoy most as a child? Anything with a lot of buttons or features to play around with, like detailed dollhouses.

What do you do if you witness someone being awful to someone else? Intervene, for the most part.

Layer 11: Where

Where is your favorite place to eat out? BGC has great ambience and restaurant choices, but it’s been a while since I’ve been there. I also still feel weird about the place since Gabie and I had dates there pretty often, sooooo I really ought to make new memories there with new people once I can.

Where is the place that has the best ice cream in your area? We don’t really have places known for ice cream...most people just buy pints or tubs of them at the grocery lol.

Where did you meet your current or last significant other? School.

Where can you be found at 7 PM. typically? Wrapping up work in my room.

Where can you find the best French fries? Potato Corner.

Layer 12: When

When did you find out the truth about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy? Never believed in the first two. Tooth Fairy I lost hope in when I placed a tooth under my pillow when I was around 6 or 7 and woke up to nothing.

When do you typically fall asleep? Early hours of the morning tbh. I’d sleep anywhere between 1-4 AM these days.

When was the last time that someone paid you a compliment? Kata and I often make sure to compliment one another for our hard work by the end of particularly grueling shifts.

When do you feel most comfortable? Friday nights when I’m sure I can finally close my work group chats for the next two days.

When did you last go to the bathroom? Around an hour or so ago.

Layer 13: Why

Why do you enjoy taking surveys so much? It’s a stress reliever that has never failed me, and it lets me answers quirky random questions no one would ever have to ask me.

Why do people gossip so much? For one, probably the thrill of knowing something that's meant to be a thing.

Why can’t humans fly? It wouldn’t have been a necessity, I’m guessing.

Why aren’t you doing something else right now? Because I just spent the last 24 hours streaming Butter on Spotify and YouTube to raise views and plays for the boys, and taking this survey is actually the first thing I’ve done all day after taking a quick nap this afternoon to recover from all the streaming I did hahaha.

Why is the sky blue? I don’t know.

Layer 14: If…

If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on? Buy chocolate chips because I’m craving them rn; get all BTS merch in one go; give a chunk to my parents; keep the rest.

If you found out someone was cheating on you, would you ever take them back? I don’t really have consistency when it comes to this situation. I know I definitely would’ve been stupid enough to stay with Gab if she hypothetically cheated on me while we were still together; I’m not sure if I’d stay when it comes to another person entirely.

If you found a wallet with cash in the street, including identification, would you turn it in? Why or why not? Yeah, I’d look for the owner. I’m not that desperate for money, personally.

If you could have any food right now, what would you like?   SUSHI.

If you found out that the world was going to end tomorrow, how would you spend your last day? Go to the mall and get some much-needed air, then probably drop off some japchae and tteokbokki at Angela’s place.

Layer 15: Firsts

When did you lose your first tooth? I was in Prep and it actually fell out while I was in school. We were having storytime and I had to interrupt the session to tell my teacher it was starting to feel loose, so she got me some tissues to help me get it out.

Who was your first teacher that you ever had? Her name was Kathy. I don’t really have any substantial memories of her because I was 4 lmao, but I know she was nice.

When did you first learn how to ride a bike? ...Still learning...

When was the first time you had sex? Like a day or two after turning 18.

Did your first birthday have a theme to it? Not necessarily but my parents threw me a party at Jollibee, so it kinda had to be Jollibee-themed lol.

Layer 16: Lasts

Last person you texted: I don’t feel like checking because it was most definitely a work-related text and I don’t want to be reminded of work on a Sunday, but it was a media person. 

Last drink you sipped: The last of my coffee.

Last time you rode a bike: Like, March last year when the pandemic had still been fresh and I thought I could use all the free time to finally learn how to ride a bike. Absolute clownery.

Last time you swam in a pool: August 2019.

Last person you hugged: Not sure. Angela, I think.

Layer 17: Favorites

Favorite Color: I think pastel pink is still taking the lead for me.

Favorite Season: We don’t have the usual four seasons, but I do have a liking for winter. It just seems very cozy for me.

Favorite Shape: I don’t have one.

Favorite Letter: Mmmmm, don’t really have one of these either.

Favorite Number: 4 or 7.

Layer 18: This or That

Pepsi or Coke? I don’t drink softdrinks.

Movies or Television? Movies, but I haven’t really been watching much of either recently.

Phone or Tablet? Phone. Haven’t used a tablet in yearrrrrsssssss.

Fruits or Vegetables? Veggies. Hate fruits.

Animals or Humans? I think I like both an equal amount.

Layer 19: Which

Which Poke’mon is your favorite? Chikorita.

Which day of the week is your favorite? Friday, because of course.

Which birthday celebration was the most memorable for you? My 18th, even though out of all the friends I celebrated my birthday with I only have one of them left in my life. I know I was happy during that time so I wouldn’t invalidate that experience for myself.

Which holiday is your favorite? Christmas, only for the sheer amount of food I get to have.

Which shoe do you put on first? I always switch it up, I’m pretty sure. I don’t have a particular habit.

Layer 20: Love Life/Relationships

What is the name of your first love? Gabie.

How many times can you honestly say you’ve been in love? Once.

Have you ever been in a relationship before that was abusive in any way? After being able to take a step back and analyzing it deeper, yes.

Have you ever been engaged or married before? Nope.

Do you have any children? I don’t.

Layer 21: Jobs, Dreams, & Goals

What did you want to be when you grew up (as a little kid)? I couldn’t decide among being an astronaut, firefighter, or veterinarian.

What do you aspire to be now? What interests you? I realized I wanted to be in the field of media and public relations, and that’s where I am now. I like being able to use my writing skills for something I find fun and fulfilling, instead of rotting away in a newsroom writing news I’m usually too sensitive for.

What is the most recent goal you’ve achieved? I got regularized! :)

What is a goal you are still striving to reach? A salary increase would be nice, and then a promotion down the road would also be awesome.

Have you ever won any sort of awards before? If so, for what? Sure. I was consistently on the honor roll in college and graduated with Latin honors, if those count as awards.

Layer 22: Opinions & Beliefs

Pro-life or pro-choice? Pro-choice.

Were you raised with any sort of religious background? If so, then what? Yesss, I was and am raised in a Catholic household. Weirdly enough my parents have grown more laidback in the last few years and my mom no longer berates us for not doing the sign of the cross when we pray before eating (my siblings have taken after me and refuse to do it as well). No idea what sparked that change but I’m just glad I never have to do gestures like that one anymore.

Democrat, Republican, or Independent? We don’t have the same parties here.

For or against the death penalty? This is a very complicated web and for reasons largely relevant to my country and the issues we have, I am mostly against it.

Thoughts on assisted suicide? I am ok with it as long as there is consent involved. 

Layer 23: Currently/Today/Present

What day is it? It’s Sunday again, blegh.

What’s the weather like outside? Sunny.

What have you eaten? Just a Fudgee Bar so far but I’m having breakfast with my family in an hour or so.

Did you run any errands? Well it’s only 8:37 AM so not yet, but one or two might come up throughout the day.

What time is it? 8:38 now.

Layer 24: Yesterday

Did you have a work shift? No, I don’t work Saturdays.

Did you eat out anywhere? No :( I’ve wanted to for a while, though. Maybe I might today, actually – they’ve loosened up quarantine protocols so restaurants have opened up again. Let’s see if I’ll feel like driving today.

Was it snowing? It doesn’t snow here.

Who did you last say goodnight to? Cooper.

Did anything unusual happen? It rained and there was cold breeze during the evening.

Layer 25: Tomorrow

Do you have to go to school/class? No, but I do have to go to work.

Does this day have any sort of significance to you? May 24...I don’t think so. Nothing comes to mind.

What is a chore that needs to get done? My veeeeeeery long list of to-do tasks that I’m trying not to think about rn.

Will you hang out with friends? No chance of that happening.

What time will you be expected to be awake by? 9 AM.

Layer 26: Have You Ever

Performed a magic trick successfully? I don’t think so.

Sat or laid on a rooftop and looked at the stars? I’m at the rooftop all the time but I only occasionally lie down to look at the stars.

Walked around with your underwear on inside out or backwards all day without realizing it? Nope.

Touched a snake? Yep. I’ve had one wrapped around me before, too.

Been bitten by an animal? If so, what animal? Just by ants and mosquitoes.

Layer 27: School Life

Are preschool and kindergarten mandatory where you live? Not sure about mandatory but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of people who went straight to first grade as kids, either because of advanced intelligence or financial limitations.

Were you or anyone you knew homeschooled? I have one set of cousins who are all homeschooled; and I also used to have classmates who eventually transferred out of my school to be homeschooled instead.

Did you attend public or private school? Private.

Were you bullied in school, popular, or somewhere in-between? I was a loner for the most part, but after befriending the popular groups in high school I kind of got dragged into that scene as well.

What is the highest level of education that you completed? Undergraduate degree.

Layer 28: Your Appearance

Eye Color: Dark brown/black.

Hair Color: Black.

Height: 5′1″.

Weight: A little under 100 lbs.

Do you have freckles, moles, beauty marks, or birthmarks - and where? I have moles on my right arm, under my jaw, near my left knee, and under my left boob. I have a birthmark behind my left shoulder.

Layer 29: Electronics, Internet, & Social Media

How much time do you spend on the internet per day? Hahahah yeesh, way to put me on the spot. I wanna say anywhere between 16-18 hours? I’m online the second I wake up until the moment I turn in for bed.

Which social media platforms do you belong to? Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr.

When’s the last time you replaced the batteries in your television remote? 4975493875495743 years ago.

Are you more likely to stream movies and shows on your laptop, or cast them to your television? Laptop.

Do you have an e-reader, or do you prefer actual books? I don’t read regularly anymore, but I’ve never liked reading from a screen. I prefer a physical book as much as possible.

Layer 30: Are You

Are you still in school? No. I’m not opposed to grad school either, but it has to be a REALLY REALLY REALLY fucking great opportunity for me to sink my teeth into it. We’re talking getting accepted to grad school in like Spain or NYU; otherwise I wouldn’t take it.

Are you a member of the LGBTQ+ community? Yes.

Are you looking forward to anything coming soon? Festa month!

Are you dreading anything coming soon? Work tomorrow.

Are you gullible or naive? I can be both.

Layer 31: Does

Does your workplace make you feel like you can never take a day off without feeling guilty about it? Not at all. I’m really grateful they take vacation leaves seriously; we even have a Mental Health Break Day scheduled two Fridays from now. Purely a company thing.

Does someone currently hold the key to your heart? Kim Taehyung... :/

Does anyone out there hate you? Idk and I couldn’t give less of a shit if anyone does.

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No.

Does crying make you feel less strong? Nope. It took me a while to realize it, but acknowledging feelings and processing them is actually one of the strongest things you can do for yourself. 

Layer 32: Would You

Do the Polar Bear Plunge? Idk what that is.

Ever try to walk across a room blindfolded? I’ve done it before, so sure.

Swim with sharks? As long as I’m surrounded with experts, yes.

Go into outer space, given the chance? In a heartbeat.

Go out in public, looking how you do right now? Nope.

Layer 33: Pets/Animals

Do you have any pets? If so, what type, and their names… Yesss. There’s Kimi who’s an aspin, and Cooper the beagle.

If not, what type of pet have you always wanted?

What is your favorite animal? Dogs and elephants :)

Do you think it is cruel to have circus animals? Yes, or having animals do tricks for show, in general. I always discourage my parents from booking tickets to animal theme parks when we plan vacations.

How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? How often do you scoop the litterbox, if you have a cat? Every week.

Layer 34: Food

What is your favorite breakfast item? Fried rice.

What is your favorite kind of dessert? Macarons and cheescake.

Do you eat all three meals everyday? Nah. I have one meal on weekdays, and two meals on some weekends.

What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? Around 24 hours.

What do you like to eat when you are feeling sick? Greasy things haha. If I’m feeling like death, might as well be having good food.

Layer 35: Past

Does your past ever come back to haunt you at times? Not really.

What is one of your favorite memories of the past? Spending my college years with the right people.

What is something that you used to do in the past, but no longer do? Harm myself.

If you could have a meal with someone from the past, who would it be, and what would you ask them? Audrey Hepburn, but I don’t really have a question for her. It would just be nice to get to spend a few minutes with her.

Which historical time period would you like to go back to and check out? Precolonial Philippines.

Layer 36: Future

Do you think you will ever get married one day? It’s definitely a lovely scenario to have but I’m really unsure about it at the moment just because there’s no one I have in mind and I have no plans to start dating around again soon.

Do you plan on ever getting a different job in the future, or are you happy with the one you’ve got? I’m happy with the one I have and I don’t see it changing any time soon.

What age do you plan to retire at? Or do you plan on working til you’re dead? Probably the latter haha.

What is something on your bucket list worth mentioning? Going to Wrestlemania.

If given the opportunity to see how your future plays out, would you take it, or no? Yes.

Layer 37: Hygiene

How often do you shower? Once daily. Twice if it’s stupidly hot during the day.

How often do you brush your teeth? Once or twice a day.

Do you actually iron any of your clothes? Mm, not really. But if I was planning on wear something that gets easily crumpled, I iron that in advance.

How often do you do laundry? I’m not in charge of laundry.

How long do you use a bath towel before switching it out? Around 1–2 weeks.

Layer 38: Clothing, Makeup, & Style

Do you wear nail polish? If so, how often do you paint your nails? Nah.

How would your describe your sense of style? I like sticking with trends as long as I feel comfortable in them.

Are there any popular trends that you do not find appealing? Just makeup in general.

Where do you typically buy your clothing from? Local small businesses or H&M. 

What sorts of accessories do you wear/use? I don’t really invest in them, but I wanna start buying more headbands, bucket hats, and earrings.

Layer 39: Hobbies

Do you still color, even as an adult? Occasionally.

Do you/would you like to crochet, knit, cross-stitch, etc? Yeaaah I do embroidery but I’ve stopped for a while since finding other interests and hobbies to dabble in. I have no plans to ditch it completely though; I’ll come back to it when the time is right.

What’s the last thing you crafted all by yourself? Not sure.

Do you use Pinterest at all? Nope.

What’s the last thing that you cooked or baked? Lol.

Layer 40: Dislikes

List some of your pet peeves here. Driving slowly on lanes intended for overtaking; taking too much of my food; being subtle about asking for favors.

What are some things that annoy you about yourself? Easily punishing myself for mistakes, no matter how small; I also find that putting others first before myself 100% of the time can sometimes end up being an inconvenience for myself.

Is there anyone out there who you actually hate? Who? Nope.

What is a feeling that you dislike? “I should have done/said this.” Not sure what feeling this falls under (maybe helplessness?), but having these thoughts irritate me to no end especially if I can’t do anything about the situation.

Do you get some ugly road rage while driving? Yep.

Layer 41: Random

Have you ever successfully pogo’ed on a pogo stick? Nah, I’ve never even seen one in real life. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been dying to try getting on one lol. 

Have you ever mastered the jump rope? I wouldn’t say I’m a master, but I can do the basic jumps and last a long time doing them.

Do you know what it feels like to be truly happy? I don’t know if I’ve determined this already; I have a lot of years ahead of me and lots of experiences I’ve yet to go through.

Is it winter in your part of the world right now? No.

What’s your favorite type of survey, and why? Random ones or ones with categories, like this one.

Layer 42: Music

What are some of your favorite genres of music? Alternative, folk indie, punk rock, R&B...and BTS.

What are some music genres that you can’t stand? Country, screamo, techno.

If you had a blank pair of concert tickets, who would you hope to be going to see? Any one of my holy trinity: Paramore, Beyoncé, or BTS.

Do you still listen to music on the radio from time to time? Not anymore, come to think of it. I’m completely unaware of the Top 40 space right now, and have been for a while.

iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, or YouTube? Spotify.

Layer 43: Books

What were some of your favorite books as a child? The Septimus Heap series and the Percy Jackson series.

What genre of books do you typically read most often? Memoirs.

What are some of your favorite books as an adult? I don’t read anymore.

What is a book that you were required to read for school that you actually enjoyed? Hands down, Without Seeing the Dawn. I remember fairly enjoying Charlotte’s Web and Number the Stars as well.

Do you read any newspapers or magazines anymore? No.

Layer 43: Around the World

Where’s the best place you’ve taken a vacation and/or day trip to? Jeju, South Korea; Bali, Indonesia; Palawan; Batanes; and Boracay.

Where is somewhere that you’d like to go someday, assuming you have the funds to do so? Seoul, South Korea.

Where do your family members originate from? Just Philippines.

What is your favorite type of ethnic cuisine? All Asian cuisines. Each of them is so unique and always has something new to discover.

What is something that is typically representative of your own culture? Jollibee? Hahaha.

Layer 44: Would you Rather…

Drink apple juice or grape juice? Apple.

Wear pants or shorts? Shorts, as much as possible.

Be taller or shorter? Taller.

Go to a zoo or an aquarium? Neither if possible.

Visit an art gallery or a museum? Museum.

Layer 45: Movies

Do you remember what the first movie was that you saw in theaters? Stuart Little 2 when I was 4.

What are some of your favorite movies you’ve seen? Two for the Road, Gone with the Wind, Roman Holiday, Revolutionary Road, Toy Story, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Room.

What genre of movie do you typically enjoy? Drama.

What is a movie you’ve seen that you weren’t expecting to like, but were pleasantly surprised? Requiem For A Dream, but maybe remove ‘pleasantly.’ Anomalisa is also a good answer for this.

How many movies do you own? Are they all DVD’s, or do you still have some VHS ones left? I just watch them on Netflix, haha.

Layer 46: Personality

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? I’m really more of an ambivert than anything else. I can deal with alone time and more social days equally well.

Are you more easygoing and laid back, or anal? Again, I can be both depending on the situation.

Are you kind to everyone who shows that they deserve kindness? Yes.

Describe your sense of humor. I can laugh over anything from dad jokes to crackhead memes.

Do you tend to over-share? Not really. I tend to have a good sense of how much I should share depending on the person/group I’m with.

Layer 47: Celebrities

Which celebrity has given their child the most unique name, in your opinion? I mean, Elon Musk and Grimes have to be up there, right? The Kardashians have also given their kids unique names, but I actually am a fan of them all.

Are there any celebrities that you keep tabs on/read articles about often? Nah, I’m past that part of my life lol. As obsessed as I am with BTS and as unavoidable rumors about their personal life are, I literally don’t care and just want them to have happy private lives. That’s one of the reasons why I know I’m truly in my 20s now hahaha.

Who is/are your celebrity crush(es)? Kim Taehyung, Hayley Williams, Kristen Stewart.

Have you ever personally met someone famous before? If so, then who? A lot of local celebrities and personalities since it came with the nature of my course.

Who is a celebrity that you’re getting tired of hearing about all the time? Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift.

Layer 48: Emotions

When was the last time you cried? Earlier, but they were happy tears.

What are some things that you’re afraid of? Big change, injections, drowning, sharp objects.

What is something small that makes you happy? Cold weather.

Who is the last person that you were angry with, and about what? My mom wrongfully blaming me for something I had very little to do with. Both my siblings are very sensitive and are never scolded, so I usually take the heat even for things I’m barely involved in. Such is the life of the eldest daughter in an Asian household, lmao.

Are you typically a shy or outgoing person? I’m always shy at first, but end up being perky and outgoing once warmed up.

Layer 49: Digging Deeper

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? Mixed drinks.

How old were you when you got drunk for the first time? 18.

Do you smoke? Very rarely. I don’t want to make it a habit.

Have you ever taken and sent naked pictures of yourself? I have.

Have you ever done any drugs other than marijuana? If so, which ones? No.

Layer 50: Games

What are some of your favorite video games? Mario Kart, Resident Evil, and Legend of Zelda are some of my favorite series.

Do you have any computer games that you play regularly? I don’t play computer games.

What was your favorite board game, growing up? Scrabble.

How about your favorite card game? I also don’t play card games.

How good are you at solving puzzles? (such as a Rubik’s cube, word puzzles, or putting together a jigsaw puzzle) I don’t like puzzles.