#yes I know they have a million of these and they're all good

[realchemistry]

Breaking down all the Buddie from "Confessions"

Did I write a photo review with over 5000 words dissecting the episode? Yeah, I did... Hope y'all enjoy!

Gonna ignore the first call because other than the bad mustache CGI/shots where it's not even there, there wasn't anything of substance. I wonder if they used that old call cause they had to fill up time, were short on budget, something else fell through or what happened.

So let's move to Eddie going to church. After 23 or so years he felt the need to confess his sins. But after an explanation of the crazy stuff that went down with Kim, including mentioning how Eddie lied to his son, his best friend and his girlfriend, he concluded he's not deserving of forgiveness and fled. The priest looked conflicted and that's supposed to be that.

Eddie, catholic guilt and all, went to church to confess. It's like the most desperate measure, I imagine, but desperate times... He gave the priest his name. Interesting. I got so emotional when he described Chris and talked about his optimism. Lying to Buck was pretty much at the top of the list, huh? Like, Eddie knew how bad he was behaving because their relationship's made up of truths. His talk in the kitchen with Buck was actually instrumental to him seeing how wrong all of it was. They need to be married immediately. The fact that one of the prayers (?) Eddie was meant to repent with was called "Our Fathers" was also interesting because it's coming from a priest or father but also, more obviously, Eddie's got a million daddy issues. Ramón traumatized him and Eddie said he traumatized Chris and Chris ended up going to Texas to live with Eddie's father.

The Buck and T date scene was super interesting for many, many reasons:

Buck thought he had the upper hand, saying he'd pay for dinner and trying to get T to guess the reason behind it.

T already knew it's their anniversary, which Buck clearly didn't expect.

T didn't just know, he actually brought Buck a gift for the occasion.

Interestingly enough, last season we learned that Buck didn't like basketball in the episode in which his jealousy and Eddie and T and him being bisexual happened.

T, after SIX months of dating the man, somehow didn't know that and gifted Buck tickets to see the Lakers.

For some odd reasons, T told Buck he didn't even have to take him to the game, "Take Eddie if you want," he suggested.

Buck looked confused but not exactly averse to that idea and asked, "really?"

And then T went, "and die" and then Buck replied, "okay, that sounds right."

Now, let's go through all that. It's their anniversary, they're out for dinner, and they apparently had a good time and then it's like they're completely out of sync. Buck wanted to pay for dinner to commemorate their anniversary, thinking T had missed it, whereas not only did T not miss it but he also bought him a present. Problem was said present wasn't something Buck actually cared for, which T seemed unaware of. The joke about taking Eddie... Why even suggest that? Was that a test? Did Buck fail it by wondering if that was really a possibility?

Then the woman interrupted the date and asked for a picture, with some unnecessary touching involved. I truly didn't get why Buck grabbed his own phone to take the pics... Was this second nature to him? A practical way to have an excuse to ask for the woman's phone number to send the pics? She wondered this and Buck denied it but there's literally no other reason to do that. T looked at the whole thing amusedly. Buck took the pics and went back to the table, expressing how weird that was.

Was that weird? I'm honestly so confused by that scene, like... people ask strangers to take their pics all the time. Yes, some of those might be an excuse to flirt but they're at a restaurant, which isn't exactly the greatest place to be trying to pick up someone. Also, Buck made it weird with the whole using his phone thing. Even if the woman was flirting, which she seemed to be, it didn't have to be made into anything. We can assume from this that Buck is uncomfortable being flirted at in front of T but he might also not feel great about feeling attracted to somebody other than his boyfriend who's right there to see it all.

Here's where it actually got weirder. T acknowledged the fact that it's okay to look and then Buck remarked that T didn't do that. T explained he's gay by saying he's a Kinsey 6. Buck, for some reasons, didn't pick on the meaning of that so T had to explain it. That's just... I call bullshit on that. Buck, recently bisexual, lover of research and internet deep dives would know ALL about it. This scene, I gotta say, felt super wonky. At points it was meant to but at others, like this one, it just... felt off. There's also the fact that Oliver and L have zero chemistry...

Anyway, back to the date. So T didn't know that Buck disliked basketball and Buck didn't know that T was gay? After SIX months of being together? What in the hell? Why were they only talking about that at this point? I don't think full disclosure or knowing your partner's history is a must at all, but considering Buck's curiosity and the fact that he was newly out, I figured all these subjects would've part of the first conversations between them. I'm not sure what to think. Was the writing completely off? Were they unable to come up with a better excuse to bring about the past partners talk and resorted to this? It's baffling. And since it's canon, whatever the reason, I found that the whole date showcased how little they actually knew about each other, which could only be a bad sign of the things to come for their relationship.

Of course, after that comment, T revealed he was engaged to a woman and called it off. Once again, the dialogue... T saying the woman went "nuts" after their break up, taking up some "himbo" half her age... Buck figured she was just trying to get over T, and then he mentioned the name of the woman. Of course it was Abby. Of course. Buck was literally having a crisis there, but the waiter showed up and asked how everything was. T, completely out of tune with what Buck was clearly trying to process, said it was "perfect." The waiter asked if he could get them anything else and T said "no, I think we're good." Buck looked so the opposite of good. Then the waiter wondered "who gets the damage" and, at last, a flawless piece of dialogue with T pointing at Buck and saying "That would be him." Buck was handed the check and the waiter told him, "whenever you're ready, no rush" and left while Buck looked like he was having a heart attack.

So, yeah, the date was a complete disaster. It's a mix between the actors not clicking, the dialogue serving the plot instead of Buck as a character (and Abby and even the show) and finally the actual plot dictating that it had to be a disaster. Honestly, the moment this bit ended, I knew they were going to be done.

Next, Buck went to dispatch to talk to Maddie. Why didn't he talk this through with Eddie, Hen and Chim? Curious... Maddie wondering how many men Abby had turned gay was hilarious. But I can't believe they didn't squeeze in the fact that Buck's bi there. They didn't do it during the date, though it was implicit, but here they had the perfect opportunity since they hadn't done it before. It would've taken a second for Buck to correct Maddie. Again, the writing this episode was all over the place, specially cause Buck looked at Maddie offended and Maddie clarified she was joking but then Buck sorta explained himself and T... anyways. Josh showed up then, and something was totally off with the actor's hair btw, I couldn't focus for a second there.

Josh eavesdropped and caught the kissing a boy part and eagerly asked if there was another boy... Buck was quick to deny that. Well, there's Eddie... Maddie and Buck explained the whole situation and Josh apparently knew her but they weren't close. And then, again, this whole thing just didn't make sense. Buck remarked that T led her on, said he loved her and then hurt her. Maddie thought Buck was afraid T would do that to Buck but Buck denied this and said, "I thought I knew him" and that he didn't think T would be capable of being dishonest and cruel.

Let me rewind for a second. Why was Buck under the impression that he knew T? Buck didn't even know T was gay... Also, didn't Buck know about T's past? He was worse than cruel to Hen and Chim... Truly, was he not told about all of that? I just, the use of the world cruel here... don't get me wrong, leading someone on is cruel but the whole being gay and repressing it part, while not excusing it, would at least explain T's actions. But the way he acted towards Chim and Hen... that had nothing to do with self-repression. It just didn't. I need someone to explain to me in detail how come Buck was deluded to think he knew T when at this point I'd be shocked to learn he knew T's last name.

Then the Josh speech happened. I wasn't happy with it at all. First of all, what's Buck loving him to do with any of it? If T was a cruel person, then Buck loving him wouldn't justify any of what he did to Abby. Buck looked super not in love as an answer, which was hilarious to me because of course he didn't love T, he didn't know the man!!! Josh backtracked from that word and asked a series of questions aimed at... gauging how much Buck cared for T? IDEK, it was all pretty ridiculous from the start. Also, first two questions made sense for Buck to answer affirmatively but T was literally such a plot device that there hadn't been a single instance in which Buck had shown that he was thinking about T or making T's concerns and happiness his own. These things, though, get positive answers in canon as far as Buddie is concerned. The future question was interesting because Buck's answer was "I could." It's never a definitive answer, it's another instance of "I guess" from the time T echoed "my attention?" when they first kissed. It's like Buck was convincing himself then. Josh took that to advice Buck to stop judging T because Buck didn't know what he was talking about.

The speech went into pre and post Glee world and all that nonsense. I truly hate a lot of things this episode chose to be. Was mentioning a Ryan Murphy show in a RM show a necessity? I don't wanna get into what Glee did or didn't do for the queer world, the point here is actually moot because T and Abby weren't a thing before Glee. Again, whatever experience with coming out T and Josh had, it had nothing to do with what Buck was asking. Buck was worried about the side of T he claimed not to know and how cruel he could be. I think the way T referred to her and the situation was also pretty awful, in the present tense. Even if one thought T was protecting himself by being with Abby, there is still room for judgement. We have Hen and Karen, in this same show, not being cruel to anyone, for one. Also, T didn't fight a single battle. He treated his coworker who was out like scum and was racist towards Chim. T wasn't an activist fighting for his life and his rights, he was just a bad person all around as far as we know. He had no scars to show. We can pretend he had an internal battle, maybe a family issue with his coming out but there's nothing to honor him for.

I cannot believe this show did that speech so awfully and pretended it was the greatest thing since Jack Shephard's "live together, die alone." Truly, they thought they had done a brilliant job and it's utter bullshit throughout.

Moving on, Eddie went to get juice... but then he changed his mind and got water instead. Who's there to witness that but Father Brian. Eddie's outside, drinking his water looking gloomy about it when Brian asked him of he could take a seat. Eddie allowed him to and for some reason, as Brian was sitting down, looked around. Brian told Eddie about being there for the first time, as if compelled, and then asked Eddie if he went there often. Eddie immediately assumed he was being hit on. Now, whether this is indicative of Eddie being hit on a lot or he just took those words as the line they sometimes can be and interpreted it that way, I hope we'll find out soon. Either way, Eddie told Brian "no offense, I'm straight." The lady doth protest... Hilariously enough, Brian's answer wasn't "me too" or "I'm not interested" but "I'm celibate". Eddie took that in and then Brian introduced himself and revealed that he knew Eddie. Eddie was processing that and the Father part, his hand still in the air.

Brian mentioned that he noticed that Eddie chose the juice initially and then got the water instead. He asked Eddie why he did that and Eddie kinda asked "decided I wanted water?" Brian posed that Eddie was punishing himself, denying himself because Eddie didn't feel worthy. Eddie sighed and, "I don't feel worty of juice?" Brian went straight (haha) to the point, "Of joy." Eddie chuckled and looked around and spoke in a low voice as he said he didn't have a lot to be joyful about because Brian was bringing up something Eddie had confessed to him in public. Eddie's well aware he's in public... Brian started listing the things that Eddie had, Chris, his parents, his job and his mustache. Eddie was kinda not happy but that last one got him laughing and blushing. He then confessed that he grew the mustache because he couldn't grow a full beard due to the LAFD. Brian concluded the mustache was a disguise and Eddie said it was something like that. Brian asked what Eddie's afraid of seeing in the mirror and Eddie said, "A failure. A man who doesn't deserve forgiveness. Or joy." Brian said that's now what go wanted for Eddie, that he'd already forgiven him. Eddie repeated that he doesn't deserve that and uncapped the bottle to take a sip of the water. Brian told him to earn it, and to stop punishing himself in the meantime. He remarked that Eddie spent his life in service and he understood that but they couldn't take care of others if they didn't take care of themselves. Eddie smiled and said he understood and Brian told him that after praying, he wanted Eddie to do something frivolous, something fun, something that expressed pure joy. Eddie told him he'd think about it.

The Eddie scenes were clearly written by someone else because they were all pretty on point. We had Eddie conflicted, and while it could just be him preferring water (the alternative is truly devastating to me so I want to believe Eddie isn't punishing himself through food), Brian decided to go with it to get Eddie to reflect about what he was doing to himself and it worked. Eddie didn't run away like he did in church but Eddie was shown to be aware of his surroundings, so the fact that he claimed to be straight with all of his chest... Why did he do that? Why did he think he was being hit on in the first place? Why was that moment necessary within this scene? Was juice really a representation of joy? Was joy a metaphor for something else? What were tptb trying to show or say here? Would a heterosexual character need to affirm himself as such? Would a repressed one? Thoughts, so many thoughts!!!!

The well emergency happened and it wasn't about Eddie, but it was interesting cause they seem to be doing Greatest Hits for some reason... Now I gotta ask, wouldn't Eddie, as a medic, know that getting the kid oxygen wouldn't work? Why was Hen explaining that to him? Honestly, the writing this episode... Buck's first idea was to dig... funny. Eddie said someone had to get down there and Bobby told him he wasn't gonna fit this time. Interesting. Bobby announced they would pull the big brother out after two minutes no matter what, specifically addressing Buck and Eddie. Interesting.

So it wasn't about Eddie because it wasn't the same Eddie. The pipe was smaller and Eddie didn't fit. But Eddie also didn't fit himself. He disguised himself with a mustache to avoid looking at his face in the mirror because he felt like a failure. He was shown in an episode entitled "Masks" at home taking down Halloween decorations all on his own. Bobby made sure that both Buck and Eddie knew the clock was ticking and they had to abide by it this time. Unlike Eddie's well, when Eddie cut the line and Hen refused to have Buck look for him because they'd end up with two cut lines. No more lines being cut? No more alternative ways to escape? Maybe I'm reading way too much but the camera did show Buck and Eddie's reaction as Bobby singled them out.

Back at the loft, T said he had a spot right out front and they should Uber to the movie so he didn't lose it. That phrasing... Buck agreed but asked to talk first. T replied positively, "we got time." Again, funny way to put it. They were both going to the movies so why was T the one who was going to lose it if they didn't get the Uber? You know who actually got an Uber with Buck recently, right? Also, "we got time".... famous last words. He'd just said they didn't have time but then said they did and, well, as it turned out, they didn't.

They sat down around the island and Buck brought up the story at the restaurant that T shared with him about how he "almost got engaged." This was odd and T corrected Buck, "I did get engaged. What I didn't do is get married." Buck said he appreciated T's honesty and that he wanted to be honest with him. T knew this spelled trouble and Buck denied it before taking out his phone and passing it over to show T pictures of Buck and Abby. T was surprised at first but then he scrolled to a pic of Buck and Abby kissing. Buck announced he was the himbo. T agreed it was crazy, after Buck put it like that, but added it was a little awkward. Buck decided to go closer and said it was like that for him as well at first, and that he should had been honest at dinner, but T asked or gathered that it had freaked him out a little. Buck said yes to this and T explained that if he had known, he wouldn't had used the word himbo because he didn't think Buck's one. Buck claimed that he was, at least before Abby, because what they had wasn't that, not for him. Buck said it was the most transformative relationship of his life until then. Buck said one of the reasons he's comfortable with T was that T's comfortable with himself. T said he wasn't always that way and Buck said he's aware and it made him admire T more. And then dropped the bomb, saying he wanted T to move in with him. WHAT?

No, really, WHAT? Buck really got deranged thoughts cause why on Earth would he ask T to move in? They clearly didn't know each other, they didn't love each other either, so explain how this made sense?? I'm hoping that it's a case of tptb purposefully having Buck spiral and go from zero to a hundred. There's also parallels between this and Eddie and Marisol, with Buck and Eddie asking their partners to move in when their relationships were clearly not at that stage.

T's reaction to Buck's words was crystal. While Buck said he was ready to take the next step and then, for entirely insane reasons, made it clear that he wasn't proposing marriage and or an engagement, though that'd be a possibility thanks to the brave people that came before like T. WHAT? Really, no, I'm so serious. I fucking cannot with this dialogue. Moving in, the suggestion, was bad enough, but bringing up marriage? Attributing the fact that they had that right thanks to people like T? SERIOUSLY? This was atrocious. I know Oliver was thinking of his bank account while delivering those lines because they were as non sensical as they could get.

"Why be apart when we can be together?" Buck finally asked. T said that's sweet but he couldn't move in. Buck wondered the why and T answered, "Because... I know how this ends." And my heart literally stopped or skipped a beat or something. I legit thought he was gonna bring up Eddie or a hint and, well, he kinda did, though not directly.

Buck asked what that meant and T explained. He mentioned Buck's qualities but then said that Buck's feelings were new and so it was all exciting and it felt like forever but he's still figuring himself out, which was good. Buck asked what he was saying and T said that no matter how bad he wanted to be, he wasn't his last but his first. Buck interjected that they could be the same but T said they usually weren't. If he were to move in, Buck wouldn't mean to but he'd end up breaking T's heart and he didn't think he could deal with that. He got up to leave, saying he should go and Buck told him to wait and asked him if he had just broken up with him, to which T replied, "yes, I guess I did. Believe me, I didn't see it coming either. Should've known that parking spot was too good to be true. I'll see you around, Buck."

At last, free! But while the beginning of the conversation was terrible, it ended on a high note. There's a lot of questions, like: according to what he said, T knew there wasn't a future between them. So I'm guessing here that after six months, they hadn't actually discussed that because Buck was clearly on a different page. T knew they weren't long term while Buck was thinking of moving together and being together for good. Make it make sense, how were these two dating not knowing anything about each other and not discussing basic relationship stuff??? T knew that Buck had to figure himself out yet he was still with him hoping it'd be casual without actually talking about it??? Yet he later claimed he didn't see a break up coming and he could see his heart being broken?

Now, my shipper heart wants to believe the between-the-lines reading of this scene had Eddie written all over. Eddie is how it'll end... And the fact that T's answer to Buck's question contained the "guess" this time around, mirroring Buck's response to "my attention"... INTERESTING. It was all a guessing game between BT, It's also the first time he called Buck by his name, which was the first and probably last because we're not gonna see him ever again. I was glad Buck asked if they were done because we all know he got confused about it with Abby... So long, T, you will not be missed. Buck's loft door opened and later on, another did...

Finally, we had Eddie. My boy. Looking at himself in the mirror and getting rid of his disguise.

And then... I literally felt so many things at once, y'all! The music, the shot... I couldn't believe it was about to happen. And then the mole made an appearance and Eddie was wearing pink and tighty whities and I swear I couldn't. I just, even rewatching to write this... I love him so much!!!!!!!!!! I was so happy to see Eddie letting go of his disguise and allowing himself to have that joy. The fact that Ryan looked like that... I was fighting for my life the whole time, NEGL.

I kept thinking Buck was going to show up midway. I was truly bracing myself for it. But the doorbell rang. Eddie looked through the peephole. Buck was there. Eddie opened the door, nodded at him and Buck gave him a beer as an answer to an unasked question and got in. Eddie closed the door and looked at the beer, at Buck and at the beer again. He made a face and then climbed the sofa. Buck was already drinking when the camera panned to him. Eddie opened his beer and drank from it. Scene.

LISTEN. I was unhinged already because they had Ryan dancing like that. But then the final scene happened and I just... I don't know how I'll survive what I hope it's to come.

Let's break that one down:

Eddie decided to follow Brian's words. Eddie didn't forgive himself but he decided to stop punishing and disguising himself in the meantime.

The way Eddie looked at himself in the mirror, both before and after he shaved off his mustache... My heart!!!

Eddie allowed himself to do something frivolous, something fun, something that expressed pure joy. The fact that he chose to dance half naked around his house... that's very babygirl of him, and I don't say this lightly.

The pink... the moves like the ones from the bachelor party... I felt crazy.

I kept waiting for Buck to show up, like my mind was half insane at what I was seeing and half insane at the possibility of Buck seeing it as well.

The doorbell rang instead.

Why didn't Buck use his keys?

It was the perfect opportunity for Eddie to put on some pants. Eddie didn't do that… Neither before or after looking who it was.

But, really, why didn't Buck use his keys? WHY????????

Was it to hammer the fact that Eddie was comfortable opening up his door to Buck while not wearing pants?

Was it so Eddie could see him standing on the other side of the door, mimicking Brian's view of Eddie in the confessionary? Will there be something for Buck to confess in the future? To Eddie specifically???

Buck wasn't looking at Eddie when Eddie saw him behind the door, btw...

Eddie opened his door and they looked at each other and said not a word but understood each other perfectly.

I truly hate the continuity error with the shirt collar. It's gonna hunt me forever.

Buck made himself at home while Eddie considered the beer.

Remember how Eddie's choices were water or juice? Well, what about a third secret option? BEER. Buck's beer, in fact. INTERESTING.

I went nuts and will continue to go nuts at Eddie climbing the sofa. Whose choice was that? I need to know. It was so freaking cute!!!

The camera went steady and Buck was already drinking from his bottle. Eddie, on the other hand, uncapped the bottle like he did with the water, and the shot ended as he drank the beer.

The contrast in the colors of their clothes… the fact that Eddie was looking to the side while Buck was looking ahead.

Was all of this symbolic of the fact that Buck already figured his sexuality out while Eddie's just starting? I'd like to think so.

Was it symbolic of Buck reaching conclusions he'd later have to confess to Eddie before Eddie arrives to those same conclusions himself? I'd also like this very much.

Now, the episode was called "Confessions" and Buck and Eddie didn't speak to each other. Not a single word. Even in that last scene, the only one in which they actually interacted, they didn't use words to communicate.

I see this lack of dialogue between Buck and Eddie in two ways:

First, it could show how good a relationship Buck and Eddie have in order to not utter a sound and still get each other completely. Regardless of all the issues I had with the writing, I can safely say that Buck and T were the complete opposite and lacked communication all around. The space and lack thereof reflected this too. Buck and Eddie know each other so well and Buck went directly to sit down on the couch, waiting for Eddie. Eddie followed right behind. BT, though... Buck stepped away from their table and the whole conflict with T's dating history started. Buck sat very far from T at the loft and only got close to be broken up with. Incredibly enough, that final shot with Buck and Eddie sitting together at Eddie's couch was the first that ever happened... Maybe that's foreshadowing something else, like couch theory related stuff? I never really spiraled about it before but I might soon.

Second, it could indicate there's something Buck and Eddie aren't saying to each other. They didn't speak to each other because they can't -- they're not ready or aware that there is something to confess. They remained silent because it isn't time yet but if they were to confess something, it would be impossible to take back. It would change everything. It will.

This is a legit insane post. When I say they're driving me nuts, I mean it and this is proof. Even though it's the longest ever, I probably forgot stuff that I might add tomorrow.

Now please share your thoughts on the episode and Buddie and everything so I don't feel alone in my madness. <3

[hedgeyart]

The third and fourth entries in my year of point and click adventure games! I actually started Monkey Island 2 in March, but that turned out to be a very busy month for me, and I spent most of April recovering from it 😅

My hot take is that Freddi could find Big Whoop, but Guybrush couldn't find the missing kelp seeds- and not just because he isn't a fish! Your boy can hold his breath underwater for 10 minutes.

Close-ups under the cut:

[esleep]

i actually do kinda like delivering groceries on the side because it gives me such a unique cross-section of the community. i never know whose groceries im shopping for until i finish the delivery and see them/their home and it's like it adds more detail to the picture of who they are. the baby supplies going to the apartment that i know for a fact is one bedroom (they'll be moving soon - i bet they're apartment hunting, i hope they find a place). the new cat litter box, bowl, and kitten food going to the house covered in "i <3 my dog" paraphernalia (a kitten definitely showed up on the porch recently and made itself at home). the fairly healthy boring grocery order that includes an incongruous tub of candy-filled ice cream going to the home of an elderly woman with toddler toys in the yard (it's clearly for her grandkids, whom she sees often).

shopping for someone else's groceries is a fairly intimate thing. i've bought condoms and pregnancy tests, allergy medicine and nyquil, baby benadryl and teething gel, a huge pile of veggies paired with an equally huge pile of junk food, tampons and shampoo and closet organizers and ant traps and deodorizing shoe inserts and a million other little things that tell a million different stories in their endless combinations. one time someone had me buy one single green bean. i messaged them to confirm that's actually what they wanted, and they said yes - neither of them liked green beans very much, but they had a baby they were introducing to solid foods, and they wanted to let him try one to see if he liked them. another time i had someone request 50 fresh roma tomatoes - not for a restaurant, but for a person in an apartment. the kitchen behind them smelled like basil and garlic when they opened the door. another time i brought groceries to three elderly blind women who share a house. that was one of the few times i have ever broken my rule and gone inside a place i've delivered to, because they asked if i could place the grocery bags in a specific location in the kitchen for them to work on unloading and there was no way i was going to refuse helping.

i gripe about the poor tippers, but people can also be incredibly kind. one time i took shelter from a sudden vicious hailstorm inside an older lady's home in a trailer park, while i was in the middle of delivering her groceries. we both huddled just inside the door, watching in shock as golf-ball-sized hail swept through for about five minutes and then disappeared. she handed me an extra $10 bill on my way out the door.

when covid was at its deadliest, people would leave extra (often lysol-scented) cash tips and thank-you notes for me taped to the door or partially under the mat. i especially loved the clearly kid-drawn thank you notes with marker renderings of blobby people in masks, or trees, or rainbows. in summer of 2020 i delivered to a nice older couple who lived outside of town in the hills, and they insisted i take a huge double handful of extra disposable gloves and masks to wear while shopping - those were hard to find in stores at the time, but they wanted me to have some of their supply and wouldn't take no for an answer.

anyway. all this to say people are mostly good, or at least trying to be, despite my complaints.

[orbiting-star]

say what you will about Millie Bobby Brown but that girl has a million pets and not ONE of them is an exotic pet. like she has said severely questionable things but she doesn't own a monkey and these days that's something i respect

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[in-class-daydreams]

Note: Gojo & the reader are ~40 in this, Sen is 18, and the guy you're seeing (if you don't already know who it is) is aged up accordingly (~30)

Imagine your and ex-husband Gojo's son Sen finding out you're seeing someone.

"You're going on a date?!" Sen asks in disbelief. "With who?"

You smooth out your outfit and check yourself out in the mirror. This look is one of your best, if you do say so yourself.

"Does it matter?" you ask neutrally. Sen is just mature enough to not blatantly freak out at this revelation, but only just. The less he knows, the better.

"Of course, it matters! I need to know who to hunt down if you disappear!" he replies, hands flying up to fist in his hair. "I need to vet this guy!"

Your ex-husband appears in your bedroom doorway. "Who are we vetting?"

Clenching your prospective clothing in your hands, you grumble, "Doesn't anyone knock any more?"

Satoru leans against the door frame like he's someone's booktok boyfriend (he used to be your booktok husband but that's beside the point). He takes in how you've cleaned up and instantly recognizes your date look. Of course, he's only seen it a million times.

"Oh, the kid didn't know you had boyfriend?" he asks.

"Boyfriend?!" Sen cries. Your temple throbs. "Who is he?"

Satoru shrugs. "I dunno, I just know he exists and his one move is sending flowers because he's basic."

"He's not basic and he is not my boyfriend!" you shout, throwing your hands in the air. "We go on dates, yes. We're seeing each other. 'Boyfriend' implies exclusivity, and none of the people I'm seeing are my boyfriend."

Your son and ex-husband stare at you wide-eyed. As Sen gets older, the black roots of his hair have become his last line of defense against looking like a carbon copy of his dad, and having both a young and old(er) Satoru look at you with their stupid big blue eyes is unsettling. Someone hurry up and blink.

"What?" you ask tiredly.

This time it's Satoru that has something irritating to say. "'People?' As in plural?"

"Satoru, don't start."

Sen raises his hand. "I'm with dad on this one. I don't trust anyone with you, not even dad--"

"Thanks, kid."

"--much less strangers."

Part of you understands that your son and ex-husband are the two people in the world that love you the most. Growing up as isolated as you did, your younger self would never have imagined having the both of them in your life. They're just trying to protect you.

The other part of you is on the verge of telling them both to step the fuck off.

You're all saved by the doorbell ringing and before you can even react, both of them are at the door interrogating whoever's on your porch. But you always met up with your dates instead of them picking you up in case of this exact scenario. There was no way he came to the door without your permission.

Sprinting to the door, you find your son, your ex, and a terrified-looking deliveryman holding a bouquet of flowers. You shoo the boys away from him and accept the flowers with thanks and a generous tip for dealing with them.

There's a handwritten note attached. It reads:

You didn't think I'd let you walk out the house without a present, right? Pretty girls need pretty flowers.

You can't hold in a grin. He always found ways to go above and beyond even without an official label.

"Well, at least he's a sorcerer," Sen says. He gestures to the note, "There's a teeny bit of residual CE on there. Not enough for me to recognize, though."

You try not to make your sigh of relief obvious. Sen was still in training and Sukuna said his ability to recognize specific cursed energy needed some work. Getting advice from his dad would help, but your son got his stubborn streak from you.

"Well, good. I don't need you tracking him down." Handing the flowers to Sen, you ask, "Put these in a vase for mama, please?"

Sen, ever the obedient son, runs off to do so immediately. You fondly watch him round the corner into the kitchen, then double back to grab you and place a kiss on your cheek.

"I don't like this, but please be safe, mama! Call me any time, I'll be there," he says, then returns to his task.

Once he's out of sight, you slip your shoes on, holding Satoru by the shoulder to stabilize yourself.

"I'll be back before 11. There's pasta in the fridge and I just washed the sheets in the guest room if you want to stay over," you tell him. Pulling up the back of your shoe, you look up at Satoru to find him stock still looking past you. You can't see his eyes, but you can tell they're fixed on the card you received.

That's when you remember that while your son may not yet be at full potential, veteran sorcerer, strongest in history Gojo Satoru knows damn well who sent you those flowers.

Shit.

Click [here] for more of Sen being mean to his dad | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astro Notes : Short N Sweet - The power lilith holds <3

Lilith in the 1st - Very strong personalities. Gifted in using the eyes to seduce others. Magnetic. Can fight the demons off of you so please be weary of getting to close if you don't want them to see what hides beneath the surface. There angelic, believe it or not. They're not here to see the world as you see it, they have a taboo personality, yes, but its also because they must learn how to live for themselves and not for anyone else.

Lilith in the 2nd - Cash cow. Can basically get any man to give them what they want. They have to be comfortable in getting under peoples skin, because they can trigger people with how they talk. Insensitive? Not exactly. Just doesn't budge and cares to be 'nice'.

Lilith in the 3rd - Creative freaks. Can use the mind in a million ways, but they still seek out one thing that works for them as they are very passionate people and whatever keeps their attention the most they'll go at it forever. They are use to the attention from people since primary school. So they like to hide a lot. They have a weird mind and they don't care to share it with too many people. If they ever considered writing, they could make some pretty interesting stuff. Sibling rivalries are a thing here.

Lilith in the 4th - Tumulous relationships with family & friends. It's because they're the outcast of the group. I mean, they know a lot and they can't stand for nothing but the truth. But sometimes the truth kills, even when they don't mean for it to be. Can be a hard knock life but they make it worth something. They're no angel, just the universe in the flesh. <3

Lilith in the 5th - Captivating presence. Lovely auras, and amazing bodies. Could be good at dancing. Could be a lil promiscuous. Could be a little dangerous. You never know. Secretive/private about their affairs.. But the stories they have I promise you its like reading a novel. Naturally sensual & can't get enough of them, even if you tried ;)

Lilith in the 6th - Goes hard for groups that aren't seen enough. Can have jealous coworkers or people who want to annoy them and get them out of character. Could also have sensual experiences with co workers. Demands compensation. Could be extremely well liked or hated no in between.

Lilith in the 7th - Spicy individuals. People love to hate them. Could have bisexual allegations from time to time. Most people like to be around them but despise them after a while. Sweet as a pie though, most people allow the rumors to get to them but usually these people are naturally sweet and empathetic. Popular loners.

Lilith in the 8th - Strong personalities. Capable of seeing beyond the veil. Has issues with society due to their daring nature but they do come out ready and swinging. Hypnotic presence. Can heal as much as they can poison, so be careful wit em ;)

Lilith in the 9th - Very beautiful spirits who are the epitome of being carefree. The universe takes them wherever their hearts want to go, and the journey is always something that last a life time. Being connected to someone with this placement could give you the feelings of something amazing. Always hold their hand tight because once their gone its over.

Lilith in the 10th - Dreamy auras. Have a knack for the public and the audience can feel their raw energy. Have haters from all area codes, this just makes them more confident. They know how to appease society well, and they can take on roles that others are too afraid to. This is great placement for lilith to be in.

Lilith in the 11th - Could had to fight to keep their self esteem in check. Due to being outcasted alot, they could of been the scapegoat for a lot of reasons that didn't pertain to them much. With time, they learn to accept that their energy isn't for anyone, and that their value is more than what you can define it. Helpful sweethearts who just wants to be around community that gets them.

Lilith in the 12th - The dream world is a nightmare. My apologies to y'all cause I'm suppose to start it off a little sweet. But this is placement of a witch/warlock. You guys have many gifts that go past the ordinary. And you more than likely come up with some ish down the line. There is a time where you will undergo a lot of spiritual refinement to keep your head going. Don't be afraid of what shows up, it might teach you something!

[remi-thirsts]

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍?

pairing: gojo, geto, choso, and toji x fem!reader (separate) summary: celeb!au where the boys are interviewed and asked a pretty personal question ! (I took nanami out bc I don't think he would want to share your business with the world) content: kinda suggestive, established relationships, allusions to sexual themes, mentions of dacryphyilia in toji's, pet names, cursing, celebrity!au (model, singer, actor, etc) wc: 1.4k

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

"Yes, yes! Thank you for joining us today, Gojo-san. All of your fans are excited to see you play the new lead role in this upcoming movie!" For the past hour Gojo has been answering questions many of his fans have with an interviewer who has gathered some of the most asked questions.

"Next question!" The women exclaims excitedly, when she reads the card she pauses in shock, "Um.. who put this card in there...?" Now the white haired actor was curious.

"Well, what does it say? I'm sure it can't be that bad." His cocky attitude is showing, but a huge percentage of his fans like when he's like this. It makes fantasizing him all the more creative and exciting; or so you hear.

"Uh...uh. Um-" She remembers the camera is rolling, and this is live TV. "Many fans know you have a girlfriend and a lot of them want to ask,

"What is your favorite position?"

Gojo knew his PR team would probably get on his ass for answering this question instead of moving on to a different one but he doesn't care- at all.

"This is a tough one... hm. I guess if I had to choose I'd say cowgirl. I love the way she rides," he pauses for a second before continuing with excitement, "She's hella good at it too! Every time I watch her bounce on it my eyes about roll to the back of my-"

"OKAY. Thank you, Mr. Gojo!" She interrupts, quickly turning to the camera with a very forced smile.

"There you have it! We'll be back after a brief commercial break!"

♡ 𝐒. 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

Your boyfriend, Suguru, started a podcast about his music life with his band mates two years ago. Since his group already had quite a huge fan base, it was no surprise they took to their podcast with excitement.

Usually the group would talk about funny backstage stories or moments where their performances were almost ruined. Today they're doing a Q&A, the questions that are most asked will be answered first, while less popular questions will be answered later.

"Oh shit, people wanna know Suguru." He quirks an eyebrow, the raven haired male leans his mic towards his lips so the people can hear his voice.

"Know what?" A sly smirk forms on his face because he knows there could be at least a million things 'the people wanna know.'

"They wanna know what's your favorite position to have your girl in." The lead singer snickers whilst asking the question. Suguru clicks his tongue and taps on the desk a few times.

"I really like to have her legs behind her head cuz I can reach really deep that way."

"Sooo, mating press?" Their lead singer is just as nosy as their fans so of course he's gonna press on.

"Hell yeah, man." Some of them clap and others laugh at Suguru's openness.

-----

You were really busy but you decided to tune into your boyfriend's podcast after a bunch of people tagged you on twitter to go listen to today's episode.

When you hear Suguru tell all 2 million of his podcast listeners what position he likes to fuck you in, you scream into your pillow and turn into a giggling mess.

He never knows how to keep his mouth shut, and you love it.

♡ 𝐂. 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

You're laying on your boyfriend's bed listening to him play his game. Choso's a big time streamer at this point. Four years ago when he started his fan base was quite small and he just enjoyed the few who would join his gaming streams. Now, Choso streams as work and he still loves it just as much as he had long ago.

"Thank you for the tip 'prettyem0b0y22'," Usually Choso reads aloud whatever message they leave with their tips but he hesitates this time.

"Uh- you don't really expect me to answer that, right? She's laying on the bed right now."

That statement immediately grabs your attention, you glance at his monitor screens, trying to get a peek at whatever his fan was asking of him.

It seems plenty of others want to know the answer to this question too because the chat starts speeding up, meaning that they're spamming.

"Guys come on, I'll turn chat off if you guys don't stop." Choso is as scary as a cute little kitten, so they just keep at it, and now you're curious too. What could possibly be that bad that he didn't want to answer it and to be fair he has answered some pretty crazy questions before.

"Indulge me Cho, what did 'prettyem0b0y22' wanna know?" His head swings so fast he could have gotten whiplash from it. His cheeks are burning pink and his brows furrow in confusion.

"I promise it wasn't anything crazy, don't worry about it." Oh, you're worrying about it alright. His strange behavior prompts you to spring up off the bed and walk your way over to his desk.

Instead of just taking a quick look at the chat, you make yourself comfortable in your boyfriend's lap. Obviously the chat goes absolutely crazy when they see you make this gesture. Choso is no doubt embarrassed but he slings an arm around your waist anyway.

"So what was the question he couldn't answer in front of me?" Prettyem0b0y22 wastes no time sending another hefty tip.

"I asked him what's his fav postion with you." When you read the whole thing aloud some giggles leave your lips.

"He likes when I ride him while facing him. For what reason? He's a titty man." Choso gasps as you expose both of you. The risks are high, anyone, literally anyone could see this clip and think something about you, but you don't care. It's your body and his, people don't have power over how you two interact with each other.

The chat explodes with all kinds of things, most are shocked emojis, while others are spamming the cherry emoji. Luckily, Choso's moderator team puts slow chat on and does a few other precautions to settle the situation.

"Baby- I- what if your family sees this? Or worse your boss?!" His concern is absolutely adorable.

"Well I guess I'd have to start a streaming channel of my own?" Everyone in his chat is totally on board with that idea. They've seen you play for Choso before and they think your commentary on games is quite funny.

"I don't want you to lose your job though." This time he whines in pure worry.

"I won't, baby. It'll be alright. Don't overthink it."

♡ 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

Toji's got what people want to see in model catalogs and magazines. The slutty waist, the well defined but not too defined muscles, his beautiful eyes and long lashes. Toji is a picture perfect model, which is what landed him his modeling gig and even a whole career a few years later.

A journalist, who's particularly interested in his dating life more than his modeling career asks him a bunch of dating related questions.

Some have speculated that Toji was dating, but he neither confirmed nor denied those allegations. You and Toji agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, because having a bunch of strangers in your personal business was not desirable.

The journalist woman words the questions in a way of inference.

"Assuming you had a girlfriend, Fushiguro-sama. What would your favorite position in bed be?" At first Toji groans but then when he registers the question he decides he'll answer it hypothetically when in reality it is something he likes to do with you.

"Hypothetically speaking, if I had a girlfriend my favorite position with her would be missionary, because I'd want to look at her pretty face when she's cryin' on my cock." The journalist writes that down, Toji knows everything he says will be censored but the people will still be able to figure it out.

"Missionary, really? Many people online have guessed you were a doggy-style kind of guy. Based off of your twitter statement that said and I quote 'Love it when her ass is phat. Love squeezing that thing.' End quote"

Toji lets out a deep laugh before answering the woman, "Doggy-style is for people I don't care about, people I don't want to look at, my girl- if I had a girl, she wouldn't be just any fuck."

More theories start to surface after Toji's slip up of words, and that's okay, because they don't know you and you don't know them.

divider: @/plutism

[mr-ribbit]

i have so many friends that already have little quirks about them like "everyone always thinks I must be really religious but I'm not" or "everyone always thinks I must be really good at math, but I'm not" or yes, even "everyone always thinks I must be gay but I'm not".

there's a million things people run into where they might have a minor misconception they have to correct about themselves here and there, and it's usually fine. pretending that the mere act of someone asking you if you might be trans is some terrible slight is JUST transphobic. every single cis person I know personally, who isn't already a transphobe, would just laugh a little and wonder what about them came off as trans. hell, some cis people LOVE to be told they look a little queer.

i think most people would be touched if you reached out to ask about their identity, give them a chance to talk about it, even if you were wrong. a lot of cis people I know love to be like "haha I'm not trans but you know, I've always kind of liked football, but my dad didn't let me play cuz I'm a girl. isn't that fucked up?" and then you get to have a nice conversation about what you have in common anyway.

but if you bring it up to your friend and they accuse you of "converting them" or "pressuring them" to be trans? those are literally dog whistles for their true fears and beliefs about trans people. trans people "making other trans people" through mere discussion is literally a fox news level bigotry callsign. it's what your transphobic relatives and peers are saying about YOU when you bring up your pronouns around them.

any sincere cis ally would not think a mere question from a friend is capable of spreading The Trans Contagion- they're getting that idea from something rooted deeper and I would be unsettled by it if I were you.

obviously if your friend told you kindly that they didn't like it when you asked if they would ever consider being trans, then you should respect their feelings. but if you're sitting out there right now with that straw man in hand, ready to argue with other trans people for the sake of your poor little cis friend, have you also considered why your friend is so offended at the idea? like, if you're trans and you're caping for a cis friend who gets mad if you say they have tgirl swag or whatever, have you considered that their anger might actually be kind of shitty and you don't need to defend it?

none of my friends would act like that, that's all I'm saying. and if they did I'd be uncomfortable.

[amaranthineghost]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🥥 ꒱ TWO WHEEL DRIVE: MEET ME AT THE CROSSWALK ( lando norris. )

lando norris x biker!reader

under the guise that she's on vacation, she travels to monaco in surprise for a certain mclaren driver who had missed her presence.

authors note: there may be a fourth part to this, but it will come after cowboy lando (live laugh love) and also trying to work on the requests that have built up (please be patient if you haven't seen yours!) and other ideas I have <3

1 2

ynusername

liked by alexandrasaintmleux and 20,472 others

ynusername the dreaded vacation curse of finding a cute boy and then leaving to never see him again!

read all 204 comments

user girl don't play with me right now

user this better be lando or I'm going to tip cows!

user after all of us hyping him up, she better not have ran off with some random boy during a VACATION

⤷ user right like girl he's RIGHT THERE PLEASEEEE

user nah guys, now you see that she was probably just using lando to go to a grand prix

⤷ user this. like it was clearly a guise just to be able to get her tidbit of fame and act like she's hot shit on her bike

landonorris hate when that happens 😅🔪

⤷ ynusername literally the worst

⤷ user little passive aggressive there lando!

⤷ user I'm sorry but y'all make it too obvious

alexandrasaintmleux a mandatory coffee date and tour is in order, gorgeous ☕️🥐

⤷ ynusername yes, please! I promise I'll park better than your boyfriend 😅🫶🏼

⤷ user NOT THE RANDOM CHARLES SLANDER

⤷ user I'm living for it, she's so c*nty

user okay it's confirmed guys she's in monaco

⤷ user officially freaking out 🤗

user not her buddying up with alexandra to get close with charles too

⤷ user what are you on because I got to make sure so I can avoid it

⤷ user right like she's clearly only interested in lando 💀

⤷ user is she really? because to me it looks like she ran off to a random vacation and forgot about him!

⤷ user no, it just looks like you're delusional! hope this helps! 🤗

comments have been limited

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri and 1,023,287 others

landonorris guys I'm on my multi-million dollar yacht! (cough)

view all 8,201 comments

user damn I remember that yacht! such good times sipping EXPENSIVE champagne!

user oh yeah, that looks just like the model lando gifted me so we could be twinsies!

user I remember when lando accidentally spilled a drink on me, he gave me a couple hundred dollars as compensation and a go at steering the yacht!

oscarpiastri I remember celebrating your win in that! such a gracious host!

⤷ user oscar has lando's back 😭

user i'm begging for that to be yn

⤷ user she's in monaco so the chances it's her are HIGHHHH

⤷ user girl don't get my hopes up

⤷ user we can both dream

ynusername wow that yacht looks very expensive!

⤷ landonorris oh yeah, you know how it is! athlete's salary and all...

⤷ user not yn also hyping lando up

⤷ user she's trying to be his wingman to get herself

⤷ user she's such an icon

mclaren looks like we brought back a certain good luck charm? 😉

⤷ user mclaren DON'T play wit me rn

⤷ user don't get my hopes up, admin

user this is torture HARD LAUNCH ALREADY

⤷ user okay they're doing this on purpose because they know we know but they also know that we are doubting if it's real!

⤷ user the soft launch makes sense all of a sudden...

ynusername

liked by landonorris and 43,027 others

ynusername my go at a four wheel drive

view all 769 comments

user THIS IS GOALS

user oh my god she's done it! she drove something that has more than two wheels!

⤷ user i bet lando roped her into it

⤷ user oh you know for SURE that he did

landonorris i bet you were great on the track behind you there

⤷ ynusername oh i was. i had the best teacher there with me!

⤷ user haha just kiss on camera already haha

⤷ landonorris bet

⤷ user PAUSE!

⤷ user HELPPPP but fr they need to hard launch already like guys we already know, it's not funny anymore!

oscarpiastri bet those skills were top tier, i can't wait to see you on the grid next year!

⤷ ynusername i'm coming for your seat, buddy. you better watch out

⤷ landonorris hey guys, let's not get too crazy now!

⤷ user lando jealous?

⤷ user over little oscar (who already has a girlfriend) just being friendly with her

user he's too far gone i fear

⤷ user he's so whipped

user he's utterly hopelessly deeply in love with her and you can so tell

landonorris

liked by ynusername and 1,347,293 others

landonorris should i buy a bike with my athlete's salary?

view all 12,038 comments

user i speak for everyone when i say YES DO IT RIGHT NOW

user stop everyone thank yn because she gave us biker lando

⤷ user THANK YOU YN!!! we say in unison

⤷ user YN THE WORLD THANKS YOU 🙌🏼

⤷ ynusername haha my pleasure

⤷ user oh my god im gonna faint

user oh my god imagine lando buys his own bike and get a motorcycle license

⤷ user and then she can be his backpack 🥹

⤷ user or!! they can go on rides around monaco or whatever country they bring their bikes to

user hello she's wearing the same white tank top in her post!

⤷ user ynndo confirmed!!!

ynusername two words. death wobble.

⤷ landonorris we do not speak of it

⤷ user see, this just confirms it

⤷ user DEATH WOBBLE??? I CHANGE MY MIND LANDO NORRIS DO NOTTTTTT GET A BIKE!

⤷ user bro probably doesn't even care as long as he gets the girl

oscarpiastri maybe this is your time to shine in motogp! which means an empty seat at mclaren for yn to be my teammate! thanks a lot lando for your great sportmanship!

⤷ ynusername oh my god YES!

⤷ landonorris hold on, what, i didn't agree to this guys 😅

⤷ oscarpiastri well, i think you've been overruled

⤷ user LET YN COOK IN F1!!

user the second photo hello?!

⤷ user RIGHT like they are such goals

user and the fact we don't know it's her but we also do know 🫠

ynusername

liked by landonorris and 63,024 others

ynusername sorry guys, busy again this weekend

view all 493 comments

user hello the oscar cap? SHE'S ONE OF US 🙌🏼

⤷ user ONE OF US!!!

landonorris why are you wearing my teammate's cap??

⤷ ynusername because he's my second favorite driver!

⤷ landonorris well why don't you wear the hat of your favorite driver instead? 🤨

⤷ ynusername why would i

⤷ landonorris why wouldn't you

⤷ ynusername i don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️

user hello the back and forth over her wearing oscar's cap

⤷ user stop, and the fact he knows that he's her favorite

⤷ user i mean why wouldn't he be!!

user see she's just using lando so mclaren will keep inviting her 🙄

⤷ user get a grip 😭

comments have been limited

landonorris

liked by ynusername and 1,293,420 others

landonorris might not have been the result i wanted, but at least i've got the girl, and also congrats osc on p2!

view all 234 comments

user HE LOCKED IT DOWN YALL

oscarpiastri you'll be back on the podium next time for sure, and congrats on the girl, mate

⤷ landonorris that hype comment really sold it i think

⤷ ynusername @/oscarpiastri so did he not help you win that sprint?

⤷ oscarpiastri no comment!

user the comment section being his wingman nailed it in

⤷ ynusername well they did say how great and rich he was, how could i refuse! he gave cpr to a goldfish, top tier qualities right there!

⤷ user not her basically admitting she's using him for his money

⤷ user you wish it was you 💀

mclaren our good luck charm returns!

⤷ ynusername it worked on oscar this time! maybe it was because he knew I'd be there 🫣

�� landonorris yeah, but he can't keep his mouth shut so I also knew... eventually

⤷ oscarpiastri hey!

⤷ ynusername it's okay, osc! congrats on p2 😊

⤷ oscarpiastri thank you yn 🥲 you should take me on a ride as a celebration

⤷ ynusername yes!!

⤷ landonorris okay let's take a minute 😅

user lando AND yn calling oscar 'osc' 🥹

⤷ user oscar is their child confirmed!

comments have been limited

—

taglist (found here): @poppyflower-22 @sapphiccloud @darleneslane @decafmickey @slut4lrh @kaa12 @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @nhlfs @beskardroids @hiireadstuff @lorenica @delululeclerc @c-losur3 @casperlikej @soamericn @tellybearyyyy @geniusalpaca @namgification @landossainz @sweate-r-weathe-r @luvsforme @theyluvflynn @ln4smiamitrophy @rylieverstappen-sargent @littlegrapejuice @mel164 @jiggly-puff-12 @ahnneyong @prudyhoo

proofread by @foreveralbon <333

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Is my punishment almost over?" Emily asked her boyfriend, Joey.

"No, not yet, baby girl..... I think you need to learn your lesson a bit longer."

"But....! The tournament is in a month. How can I perform like this?"

"Not my problem.... You should've thought of that before being such a naughty girl, Emily."

Joey wasn't wrong, in a way..... Almost a year ago he started dating an Olympic silver medalist gymnast, who was known the whole world over for her skill and dexterity. Shortly after dating her, though, he was sent something damning by a random person online.... At the time, Emily was basically flat chested, yet had a cute butt and tended to give the cameras sensual, flirty looks, often blowing kisses and winking at the camera, sometimes bending over unnecessarily to give the people filming her something to zoom in on.....

Turns out when pervy guys reblogged these clips and admitted to masturbating to her performance, she would reply, happily encouraging them. On her official account, zero shame, her with the silver medal as her avatar. She'd tell these random men to 'milk their cocks good' and 'cum real hard for her tight little ass', like some porn star. Joey saw this and was very amused..... So, he decided Emily had to be punished--badly. He told her she had to obey him and take breast growth pills, to give the next national gymnastics tournament before the Summer Olympics a good show.

"I'm sorry, Joey..... you know I can't help myself. I love to flirt."

"Which just tells me how badly you need to be punished. Look at this one I found! Some random married guy posted that he wants to throw you in his van, hogtie you, and put 'a pile of kids in your pretty gut'. Did you block him....?"

She shook her head. "No....."

"Oh wait, you went on an extended RP session in the public comments about how he was going to abduct and rape you. Damn, you're one messed up girl."

"Messed up as a guy that makes his girlfriend grow a pair of boobs that weigh 50lbs each? Knowing she's a gymnast!"

"Nah, not as bad. But hey, think of all the hot interactions you'll have on Instagram now! You're gonna step out, not in your leotard, but a bikini, these gigantic udders spilling out. And you'll do your routine.... as well as you can. Think of how many guys are gonna jerk off to that."

"Fuck.... that's so hot." Emily bit her lip, fondling her pussy and breasts. "They're so heavy.... I look like an idiot with these things....."

"Well, you are an idiot. A horny, drooling idiot, too obsessed with fondling that swollen pussy of yours to care whether or not millions see you flirt with married men and RP getting knocked up by them."

"I'm.... it's just a little addiction, is all. I could try therapy...."

"Nah, I think you deserve to be nothing but walking jerk-off fodder. You're done being a real athlete. They'll just have you on because your oversized, goofy looking udders will make so many desperate, horny men tune in. And a whole bunch of normies to make fun of you."

"Fuck you.... you find these tits sexy..... You just came so hard inside me!"

"Well, I find them less sexy than I do the fact that I made you grow them. Understand?"

She nodded obediently. "Yes, master."

"Good girl, now, isn't it going to be fun watching you balance those giant tits and a belly full of my kids at the next tournament? Damn, by the time the Olympics roll around, those tits will weigh 100lbs each. Won't that be so fitting? I can't wait to see you even try to perform..... Then your career will be sitting on OnlyFans, immobilized by those cartoonish udders, masturbating all day like the drooling, horny idiot you really are deep down. You'll be flirting with your desperate, gross fans, all of your regular fans won't want anything to do with you as you sit there ten hours a days fondling yourself, surrounded by a pair of tits too big for you to carry on your own....."

"Fuck you...."

"Don't act like you don't agree. You aren't an athlete Emily, you aspire to be nothing but walking jerk-off material. So you might as well go for gold, isn't that right?"

Emily bit her lip, rubbing her heavy breasts. "Then I better go for 200lbs each...... be totally trapped by these things...."

"Now that's the perverted little idiot I love."

"I aim to please, Master. ❤️"

[drunkkenobi]

Hi bb, ty for the prompt to write my thoughts!

So I can't get on tumblr at work anymore unless I go outside to get good signal on my phone so I have only been privy to what's going on here today from friends on discord. So maybe I'm missing some nuance or the what my mutuals think and I apologize in advance for that but I'm going to speak plainly.

This is the only way Watcher is going to survive.

The view counts have been steady through Mystery Files season 2 but they aren't, like, astronomical. A video with a million views nets a channel between $10,000 - $30,000. Guys. That's nothing for Watcher. They have to pay each of their 25+ employees a salary with insurance and benefits and for everything else their channel requires. Steven said in the video today that a season of Ghost Files costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don't think everyone is hearing that part and understanding how much money that is, especially compared to many other YouTubers they watch. I'm not an expert on other YouTubers but I look at the Sims people I watch. They are successful with views in the hundred k range because they are a company of one. Themselves and maybe paying a freelancer to help edit their videos. For one person, the stakes are lower and the potential for profit is higher! Especially for gamers that are filming in their homes. YouTubers like this, making niche content on the cheap, are who is going to make it in YouTube now.

Watcher is none of those things. They have, from day one, wanted to make high quality unscripted content. All of their shows are shows. They aren't just "Ryan and Shane do [thing]" or "Steven eats [whatever]". They are shows, like ones you see on cable TV or any streamer. And shows are not cheap. Unscripted is cheaper, sure, than scripted. But that doesn't mean cheap. Especially not with the sheer production value we've seen on all their shows, in particular Ghost Files (hundreds of thousands of dollars). That is how much something like Ghost Adventures costs, which is on Travel Channel, an actual TV network that puts up all those costs.

So. That's why Watcher has to pivot to survive.

I think it's a great idea, personally. And yes, I am in a position where I can financially afford it no problem, which I know is a privilege! I am very lucky in that regard. And I understand that many people are upset they won't see the boys as easily on YouTube anymore. That is valid! But they have openly said they are totally fine with password sharing and I think that's a great way to cut down on costs for some folks. Also right now there's a great deal on the yearly sub for early subscribers. $40 for a year is cheaper than any streaming service and it doesn't go to anyone other than Watcher.

I understand that people feel hurt and blindsided, but I think Watcher is also feeling this too. They have been so excited about this and being able to make whatever they want without having to worry about sponsors and now they're mostly seeing anger directed their way. Especially at Steven. Steven is not rich. You know who's rich? David Zaslav, a man who is single-handedly ruining Warner Brothers and making himself a billionaire while he's at it. THAT is the kind of person we should be directing our anger at streaming prices and quality of the media landscape at. Not one small business that is just trying to survive so they can continue paying their employees.

And one more thing. I've seen folks saying they'd rather watch more ads than pay and while I get that, that's not going to help Watcher make what they want. YouTube famously demonetizes videos with swears which is why I can't watch a video with DRAG QUEENS without every other line being bleeped and Watcher has been so good about not bleeping their content because they know we would hate it. And YouTube does this because of advertisers. Advertisers only want to appeal to the most broad of audiences so that means not supporting anything slightly left of center. Having to deal with ads sucks from the creator perspective and does not help them in the long run.

Anyway, this is all a bit rambling, but these are my thoughts on WatcherTV. I'm extremely excited to subscribe and make them make more Weird Wonderful World. I hope to see you all there.

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: anon request - "sam and colby making a sex tape with reader?!?!"

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of alcohol, unprotected sex, double penetration, fingering, oral (all rec), hair pulling, rough actions, dirty talk, pet names, creampies, filth

Word count: 3.9k | not edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"What are you doing lately, miss y/n?" Michelle asks as she crosses her leg over her other, leaning back to sip her drink.

You glance up at Sam and Colby, who are smiling and laughing while talking with their friends.

You look back to your friend, "Oh you know, just the usual adventuring and YouTubing."

She smiles and nods, "Yeah I just seen you surpassed three million." She holds her glass out and you clink yours with hers. She takes a sip, pointing to you, "I'm proud of you."

You smile, "Thank you. It hasn't been easy, but we're getting somewhere."

"And another round of tequila shots for this table." The waitress says setting down the tray and everyone cheers, already slightly drunk.

"Thank you!" You say taking your shot glass, "What are we cheersing to?"

"To y/n. For making to three million." Colby winks at you and you can feel the heat in your cheeks rising and it doesn't help when Sam looks at you with his smirk, "To y/n."

"No.. no.. there's no-"

"To y/n." They all cut you off, clinking their small glasses before taking them. A few people let out a groan and you laugh as you suck on your lime wedge.

"Oh my god. I love this song." Michelle gets up, "Come dance with me!" You look down at your empty glass, "Let me get a refill and I'll meet you out there."

She nods and runs over with a few of the other girls, dancing and singing as they do.

You look up and Sam and Colby are staring at you, "Yes?"

They shake their heads and Colby scoots down in the booth to sit in front of you, "Just admiring how good our girl looks." He winks and nods down, "I'll get you a drink."

You smile, "Thank you."

Sam moves down, "He's right. You look fantastic, babe."

"Sam." You whisper leaning in, "Careful."

He rolls his eyes, "Please. They're all drunk, they don't care." You smirk, glancing over at the rest of the group laughing and taking more shots, "You're right."

You, Sam and Colby all talked and agreed to keep your relationship as secret as possible, mainly because you weren't sure how everyone would react to you guys being a thruple.

You didn't think your friends would care, they'd be asking questions for sure, but Sam and Colby's fan base, along with yours, you just weren't sure yet.

You didn't really care what they thought, normal was so fucking overrated anyway. It was more or less you didn't want Sam and Colby to lose viewers for it, that was important to them.

You look over and lean over slightly as Colby extends his arm out, drink in hand, "Here you go, my love."

You smile, "Thank you." You take a sip, "Mm. This is delicious."

He sits down next to Sam, "Thought you'd like it." He slides Sam drink over to him and sighs, "Thought you were going to dance?"

You glance over at Michelle and the others and sigh, "Yeah, I probably should." You stand up, resting your hands flat on the table, "I know I'm reaching my limit soon."

"How come?" Colby smirks leaning in. You look over at him, leaning in closer to both him and Colby, "Because I'm starting to wonder why we aren't having sex yet."

You bite your lip, slowly pushing yourself up off the table.

"Yeah I'm starting to wonder that myself." Sam brings his glass to his lips and Colby nods, "Mhm." You smirk, laughing as you grab your drink, "Later."

You walk over, dancing as you walk up to your friends. Soon enough, you find yourself being drug up to the bar, your friends egging you to take more shots, and you do.

You slam the fifth one down, waving your hands as you laugh, "No, no. No more." You shake your head, "I'm good."

"Oh come on, y/n! It's a special night." Michelle shakes your arm slightly and you smirk, sighing, "Fine. One." You hold up one finger, "I mean one more."

"Yes! Okay!" She waves to the bartender and he walks over, "I need.." she looks around to make sure everyone is still there, "Five more tequila shots please."

He nods and walks away to get them and Michelle turns to you, "So how does it feel?"

You look up at her from your bar stool, "How does what feel?"

"You know.. getting to hang out with Sam and Colby all the time?" She sips her drink and raises her eyebrows, "You know lots of girls would kill to be in your position."

You laugh slightly, "I mean, I've known them for a while." You shrug, "It's always something new."

"Now.." she laughs slightly and sighs, "I have to ask.."

You close your eyes, biting down on the inside of your lip because you know where this is going.

"Are you.. you know.." she leans in, glancing back at them before looking back at you, "Seeing either one of them?"

"Oh my god, Michelle." You roll your eyes and the bartender sets the glasses down, "Here you go."

"Thank you." You grab yours, taking it before sucking on the lime wedge.

"You didn't answer me." She nudges you, "Come on. I'm your best friend."

"And you're also very.. very drunk. So on that note." You finish the drink in your tall glass and set it down, "I'm heading home."

You go to stand up and she grabs you, "We're not done talking about this, missy."

You laugh and nod your head, "okay."

You walk over to the booth Sam and Colby are at, leaning down between them, "Take me home."

They both turn to look at you and they both nod, "Gladly."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

The ride home was kinda quiet, all but Sam and Colby talking to the Uber driver.

"Yeah, I've followed you guys since the beginning. I recently just subscribed to y/n. I think her content is pretty good too."

"I basically do the same stuff they do, just without the man power." You giggle and they all laugh. Kellin, the driver, shakes his head, "I think that's pretty badass."

Colby's hand brushes against your leg at the subtle flirting that's happening on Kellin's end and you lay your hand on his, "Yeah, when I'm not doing my own stuff, I'm with these two on their channel."

Sam chuckles and shakes his head, mumbling under his breath, "Can't get enough of us."

"What was that?" Kellin asks leaning back more and Colby laughs, "This is our stop."

"Oh, alright. Pleasure to meet you guys." He looks back, "Congrats on three mill, y/n." He smiles and you nod, "Thank you for driving us home."

"Anytime." He winks and you see Colby clench his jaw before he gets out, helping you out behind him. He shuts the door with a slam and Sam walks around the back to meet you guys before heading up to the house.

"That guy was so fucking thirsty for your attention, babe." Colby laughs and sighs, "times like that are when I wish I could just.." he grabs your throat, holding you still so he can crash his lips onto yours.

You grip his biceps, kissing him back until Sam cuts it short, "Can we maybe move this party inside?"

You laugh against Colby's lips, "Of course, honey." You squeeze him arm as you walk by him, setting your bag down on the couch.

You turn around, and watch as Colby shrugs his jacket off. Sam pulls his hoodie up over his head. They both lay them over the back of the couch as you sit down on it, "So."

"So." They both say as they move in to kiss each side of your neck. You tilt your head back and shrug your cropped jacket that's draped over your shoulders, off.

"I had an idea." You whimper as you drag your hands up their chests, "A good idea actually."

"What's your good idea, baby?" Colby slides his hands down and across your waist, "we'd love to know."

Sam rests his forehead against your temple and you smirk, "Go get the camera." Sam lifts his head and looks at Colby, "Fuck yeah."

Sam races upstairs into the office to grab it. Colby moves to stand between your knees, holding onto your waist, "dirty girl."

"Just want something to look back on when you guys are away." You bite your lip as you look up at him and he groans lowly, "Well give you something."

Sam comes back down, "Alright. Where do you wanna start?" You slide down off the back of the couch, "follow me." You walk over to the steps and you hear the camera click on.

You smirk as you turn around, looking down at the camera. Sam moves it up and down, showing you off, "Can't wait to get you out of that tiny little skirt."

"Been teasing us all fucking night." Colby adds as he walks up, pulling you with him up the steps. Sam follows behind, and you make your way to the bedroom.

You pull Colby to you, pushing him back onto the bed so you can straddle him. You reach out for Sam, grabbing his hand once he lays it in yours and pull him to you as well.

He hands the camera to Colby and Colby films you on top of him. Your skirt riding up to reveal those slutty little panties sitting between your legs that are soaked.

Moving over to capture the slow, heated make out that has you pulling at Sam's shirt. He leans back, lifting the shirt over his head and tossing it before moving back in for more.

"Fuck. That's so hot." Colby groans, raising his hips slightly. You moan against Sam's lips as you grind against Colby's cock in his jeans.

"That feel good?" Colby asks and you nod as you pull away from Sam, "Yes."

"You know what would feel better, baby?" Sam whispers as he slides his hand down your body, pulling your skirt up more, "If you sat on his cock for him."

Colby hands the camera to Sam and you move off of him onto your knees slowly taking what little clothes you had on, off while Sam recorded you, hyping you up as Colby stood next to him.

"Fuck, yeah baby. Take it off for us." Sam whispers, "You're so fucking sexy."

You giggle as you toss the black bandeau top at them and Sam zooms in your jiggling boobs, "You have such nice tits, babe."

You smile, covering your face as you laugh slightly, "Sam."

"What?" He laughs, "I'm just being honest, now move those arms, we wanna see."

You move your arms, hooking your thumbs into the band of your skirt but Colby stops you, "Mm. Leave that on. Just take off your panties."

You nod, confused, but you reach up under, hooking your fingers into the band of your underwear before pulling them down to above your knees.

You sit back watch as Colby takes the camera. Sam moves onto the bed, sliding his up your legs and grabbing a hold of your panties to pull them down.

He tosses them aside and grabs your ankles, spreading your legs apart. You move your skirt up to around your hips before you lean back, resting on your elbows.

"Look at the way he's looking at you, baby." Colby moves up by your head, "He wants to devour you."

You look from Colby to Sam and bite your lip, staring into Sam's eyes, "please..baby."

A smirk grows onto Sam's face and he nods towards Colby, "Give him something to." He winks and slides his hands up the outside of your thighs to your hips, gripping them as he shifts around to lay on his stomach.

You work at undoing Colby's jeans, pushing them down so you can free his cock from his boxers. Colby groans as your hand wraps around him, pumping slowly.

"Fuck.." he breathes out and holds the camera on the scene, "Use your mouth baby. I love it when you use that pretty little mouth."

Sam presses little kisses along the inside of your thigh until he reaches your pussy. He licks a strip up to your clit, closing his lips around it.

You moan out as you lean in to take the head of Colby's cock into your mouth. Colby holds the camera as steady as he possibly can on you sucking his cock, moving it to Sam eating your pussy every so often.

You work your way down, moaning around Colby as Sam's tongue plunges deep into you.

"F-fuck, baby. Yeah, shit. That's it." Colby groans, laying a hand on the back of your head, "Just.. like that just like that."

You pull off, tilting your head back as you clench around Sam's tongue, "Fuck, fuck fuck." You stroke Colby's cock, moaning out as you cum on Sam's face.

"Good girl, baby. Good fucking girl." Colby groans and points to the camera to Sam as he sits up, "How's she taste, Sam?" 

Sam smirks and nods, "scrumptious as always." He takes the camera from Colby and Colby pulls you up, "Come here, baby girl."

You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing him as he pulls you closer by pressing his hands to your back. He bends you back, laying you down as he hovers his body over yours, lips still connected with yours.

"Same thing but with Sam, yeah?" He says lifting his head up. You nod, panting as he kisses down your body.

Your eyes roll back as Colby sucks on your clit, nipping gently. Sam moves up next to you, recording Colby as he throws your legs over his shoulders.

"Tell us how it feels, baby." Sam brushes his hand over your boob, pinching and twisting your nipple, "does it feel good?"

"So.. so fucking good." You open your eyes, moaning out as you lean up to undo Sam's jeans, doing the same thing you did to Colby.

You tilt your head back, gasping as you feel Colby slip two fingers into you, "Shit." You clench around them as you pull Sam's boxers down his thighs, "Fuck, fuck, Colby."

You wrap your hand around Sam's cock and he pushes his hips forward. You part your lips, wrapping them around the head of his cock.

He groans lowly, "F-fuck, baby." He lays a hand on the back of your head, tangling his fingers into your hair as he slowly moves your head up and down.

Your eyes roll shut as the overwhelming pleasure feeling of having a back to back orgasm takes over.

"You're so fucking good at this." Sam lets go of your hair and you bob your head, moaning around him as you cum around Colby's fingers.

"Fuck, fuck." Sam groans and moves his hips back, pulling his cock from your mouth, "You only get better at that."

Sam moves the camera down to film Colby finger fuck you through your high. You're whimpering, moaning, and arching your back off the bed while your heels dig into his back.

Your back meets the mattress as Colby pulls his fingers out and leans up. He brings his fingers to your lips and Sam records your wrapping your lips around them. You swirl your tongue, moaning as you suck yourself from his fingers.

"So fucking pretty." Sam brushes his fingers over your jaw and hands the camera to Colby when he takes his fingers from your mouth.

Sam stands up to discard his clothes fully, then lays his body on yours. You feel his cock rub against you, “Sam.”

“What baby?” Sam kisses your jaw line down your neck as you whimper, “Please.”

Sam looks over at Colby, smirking at the camera as he leans up to his knees, “Please what baby?”

“I want you..” you move your hips, staring up at him, “I need you.”

“She needs you, Sam.” Colby says moving the camera up and down your body slowly, “Give her some.”

Sam bites his lip as he slowly pushes his cock into you. Colby records your face as it scrunches up with pleasure and you moan, “Yes, yes.”

“That what you wanted, babe? Hmm?” Colby runs his thumb over your bottom lip and you wrap your lips around it, moaning quietly as Sam starts to slowly thrust in and out of you.

Colby pulls his thumb out and you moan, “y-yes.”

Sam grips the shirt that’s around your waist, groaning as he tilts his head back, “Shit.”

Colby moves the camera down, focusing on Sam’s cock going in and out of you, “So fucking hot.” Colby moves down to plant his lips on yours, swallowing every moan that comes from your lips.

Sam slides a hand up, gripping one of your boobs as he slows his thrusts down, “I need to stop or my night will be cut short.” He chuckles as he pulls his cock from you and you whimper at the loss.

Sam takes the camera from Colby and Colby moves to lay next to you, “C’mere, baby girl.” He guides you to straddle him and you sink down onto his cock with a gasp, nails leaving crescent marks on his abdomen.

Sam sets the camera on the stand next to the bed, angled perfect to capture all three of you. He moves up next to you, kiss your neck as you move up and down on Colby’s cock, “You look so hot riding his cock.”

“So fucking good at this.” Colby moans as his fingers dig into your thighs, “Such a beautiful fucking sight.”

Sam grabs your skirt, assisting with lifting you up and down, “You’re such a little slut for us.” He nips your ear, groaning as you reach down to grab his cock, stroking him as you lay your head back on his shoulder, “you know exactly how to treat us.”

You clench around Colby’s cock and Colby shakes his head, “Hold it baby. You’re gunna cum with us when we’re ready.”

You nod once, squeezing your eyes shut as Sam sucks on your neck, pinching your nipple with his fingers, “You can do it, baby. I know you can.”

“Sam.. give me the camera..” Colby extends an arm out towards it and Sam moves to grab it, handing it to him before moving to his place behind you.

Colby records you bouncing on his cock while Sam slides a hand down to rub your clit, “I know we make it hard, but don’t cum yet.”

“Fucking beautiful.” Colby moans and zooms in on his cock going in and out of your pussy, “Sh-shit.” Colby sits up slightly, “How do you wanna finish.”

He reaches up and tilts your chin down so you can look at him, “How do you wanna finish, baby?” He repeats and you smile slightly, “I want you both.”

Colby’s eyes move to Sam’s and Sam smirks, “You heard her.” Colby nods, “I sure did.”

Sam moves to sit with his back against the headboard, “you can either set the camera down somewhere or whatever..”

Colby nods, moving to set it up somewhere while Sam directs you on how to sit, basically reverse cowgirl, but Sam move down a little bit and you’re laying with your back on his chest.

You bring your legs up and Colby moves in front of you, standing over you looking over your body, “Hold on.” He reaches over, grabbing the camera.

Sam reaches down grabbing his cock and slaps it against your ass a few times, “Colbs, some spit please.”

Colby chuckles and nods before leaning forward to spit. You bite your lip as you feel it run down over your ass and Sam rubs his cock in it.

Colby records the process of Sam slowly pushing into you, moving up to your face as you pant, moaning out with a little bit of pain and pleasure combined.

“You okay, baby?” Sam asks in whisper as he moves to hold your legs up by the back of your knees.

You nod, “y-yes. Yes.”

“Taking him so good baby.” Colby presses his thumb to your clit, gently rubbing circles as Sam slowly pulls his cock out and thrusts back in.

Your moans fill the room, and they’re loud.

“That’s it baby, let em out.” Colby groans as he watches the scene in front of him, “Fuck, let me in there.” Sam slows his thrusts down, leaving you whimpering as Colby slowly slips his cock into your pussy, “Fucking hell.”

He angles the camera down by his side, capturing the moment.

You lay your hands on Sam’s, digging your nails into the top of his hands, “Fuck, fuck fuck.”

“Taking us so fucking well baby.” Sam kisses your head, “Almost done, okay?”

You nod and arch your back slightly, becoming a complete mess as they start to thrust into you.

You can fight it anymore. You clench around both of them, screaming out as you cum. Colby pushes your thighs back a little more with his one hand, moaning out as you cum around him.

“Shit.” He groans lowly, “I-I’m gonna fucking cum.” He digs his fingers into your thigh and tries to hold the camera steady as he fills you.

Sam is quick to follow.

You moan out as you feel them both twitching inside of you, whimpering as you relax from your own high,

Colby leans up, breathing heavy as he watches you, “Y/n, baby. You alright?”

You slowly lift your head, giving him a smile, “Never better.”

Colby bites his lip, nodding as he moves the camera to where you guys are still commenced, “Ready?” You take a deep breath, “Yeah.”

He nods and slowly pulls out. He groans lowly as he watches his cum spill out and roll down towards Sam cock that’s still inside of you, “Fuck. Sam you’ll have to watch this.”

“Oh trust me. I want to.” Sam slowly lifts you as he pulls out himself, and Colby sucks in air as you push out Sam’s cum for him, “Fuck, baby.”

You giggle quietly, sighing as you roll off of Sam. He leans over, “I’ll go get the shower started, hang tight.” He places a kiss to your lips and you nod, “Okay.”

Colby sets the camera down and lays next to you, “You okay?” He brushes hair from your face and you lay a hand on his cheek, “I’m sure I’ll feel it tomorrow.”

He chuckles and nods, “Yeah, that’s why I’m not going to let us watch it for a few days. Because I’m sure when we do..” he raises his brows and you laugh, “Oh I know.”

Sam comes back in, laying behind you, “You okay?” You nod, turning your head towards him, “Yes, baby.” He kisses your cheek, “Okay. Shower is ready.”

You slowly sit up and swing your legs off the bed, “Better hope that doesn’t get mixed in with your usual footage.” You laugh and look at them.

Colby’s eyes go wide, “Oh god, we’d have to fucking tweet something along the lines of um, hey guys, so that wasn’t your normal footage.. sorry for the.. the.. I don’t even know what we’d say.. I’d delete my accounts.. go rogue.” He laughs, “Colby Brock who?”

You laugh and look at Sam, “not if we uploaded it to the right website.” You wink and get up to walk to the bathroom.”

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I feel like this was short, but also really good so that makes up for it. I hope you enjoyed!

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[bitter-me]

Can I request an romantic angst with Aventurine and Malleus (Male Reader)? Like Male Reader is turning into his Overblot form because he realizes he'll outlive Aventurine and trapping Penacony in the dreamscape.

Once Upon a Dream

Aventurine | M. Reader as Malleus Draconia [Twisted Wonderland]

----------

"You'll love me at once.... the way you did once upon a.. dream.."

----------

[Name] Draconia.. the crown prince.. of Briar Valley..

No one would have thought that someone like him... could have his eyes on someone from the IPC! How!? Some money grubbing asshole?! Has the prince gone mad!? He's obviously being used!?

Meanwhile on the IPC side, it's more of.. disbelief...

How? How could someone like him have none other than the crown prince of Briar Valley?? Him? Of all people??

But if one were to stop and look for just a moment... it's not what everyone originally thinks. The prince's lover.. is far from the "money grubbing asshole" people say he is. He's surprisingly charming, and has his way with words. One could see why the prince loved him so much.

Same thing could be said to the prince. People who once saw him as a cold and uncaring person was shock to see just how caring he can be.

Some would say, they're perfect for each other. They completed each other. They're the only ones who could see right past each others mask and saw the real, true version of themselves.

----------

A music box that plays an unknown melody. Its tune sounded unsettling yet also calming. Like a tune playing in a distant dream.

It intrigues him.

Such a unique way to invite someone..

And oh how happy he was to see his beloved in that place. His beloved who was also invited into this place where others would pay millions just to spend the night in.

Penacony.

"Ah! You Highness, I see that you're also invited? I thought they might have forgotten your invitation." Aventurine joked sarcastically. It's almost comedic with how [Name] always didn't receive an invitation where he is supposed to have one. It's like fate is messing with him.

[Name] can't help but chuckle at the joke. "Yes, I am indeed invited to this grand festival."

"Well that's good, it means you could enjoy a once in an Amber Era performance."

During his visit, the crown prince had met multiple people, they're so friendly and they didn't seem to fear him. How delightful! Accepting Penacony's invitation had got to be the best decision [Name] had ever made! Not to mention, meeting the famed Nameless too! If only he could share this moment with Lilia. Those rectangular things are just so hard to command! [Name] has full respect to people who know how to use such objects. Truly, they earned his respect.

And oh how happy he was that the Trailblazer wanted to spend some time with him exploring the dreamscape. This is truly more than he could ever wish for.

.

.

.

.

.

"Please let me go!"

Drip... drip.. drip..

.

.

"Is that you, Screwllum?"

Drip... drip.. drip... drip...

.

.

Those words...

Such desperation..

Such sorrow..

Isn't this a dreamscape? Then why are they suffering? Why the sadness? Why the sorrows? Why the desperation? Those people he helped Trailblazer save.. why are they so..

It wasn't until the Trailblazer explained it that he finally understood...

...

.....

...Have humans always been this fragile..? Have they always been this vulnerable to everything around them? To the point that it'll only take a single flick from someone like him and the flames of their lives extinguished?

The sight of that girl being killed by that thing... are humans truly that fragile? That a simple and clean injury caused them their lives?

Drip... drip.. drip... drip... drip..

...

"Aventurine!" The sight of his beloved walking like he had come out of a bar or a fight. It broke his heart with how distraught he is. His beloved.. how could this happen? Who did this? Why is his beloved like this?

[Name] glanced at Dr. Ratio, expecting an answer out of him. Only to be met by silence. His eyes narrowed in suspicion as doubt and uneasiness creeps within him. But that doesn't matter at the moment... what matters is his beloved. [Name] turned his head to face Aventurine as he looked at him with concern and loving eyes. "Aventurine, are you already? Can you stand properly? I can carry you if you like."

"It's nothing serious, [Name] just a killer headache, that's all." Aventurine says with his usual smile.

As far as [Name] recalls these things called "headaches" aren't usually this.. horrible.. has these headaches always been like this? Is immense pain what they all feel whenever these headaches happen?

"It's nothing really, I'll be fine! But if you excuse me.. I have some work to do.." Aventurine says before walking towards Aideen Park with a rather large bag. [Name] watches on as his beloved practically whimpers in pain, he can't help but feel saddened by the sight. Where is his usual energetic and happy beloved? Why did this have to happen? Who did this to him? Who dare lay a hand on the [Name] Draconia's beloved?!

Dr. Ratio seems to have noticed the other's distress as he let out a sigh before saying. "It's pitiful isn't it? But I suppose that's just how it is. One day we all will be like that too. Supposed you could say, he's preparing for that day."

...

...'we all will be like that too'..? What does the doctor mean by that..?

Looking at his surroundings, [Name] could see a few elderly people walking around the Golden Hour. They look tired and worn out, with wrinkles on their faces and those white hairs...

Is that what happens to humans when they age? If he recalls, Lilia had told him something about these before. But.. never would [Name] thought he'll see it for himself. This thing actually happens. Humans age and then they...

...will Aventurine face the same too?

Will he too grow old and tired? Will he need a cane to help him walk? Will he suffer from some sort of illness or fatigue? Will he..

The thought puts a pit on [Name]'s stomach.

He's going to outlive him. [Name] would continue to live while Aventurine...

----------

'A once in an Amber Era performance'..

Oh how true those words are.. How true those words are..

Standing behind the curtains of the Theme Park, Aventurine ready himself for his upcoming act. But as his hands touch the soft material of it, his guests seems to have found him first before he could say anything else. The ground shakes like a light earthquake. This wasn't his doing. This wasn't a part of the performance! What's going on?

As much as it spoils his plans... Aventurine has no choice but to deal with this situation first and who wouldn't make a better teammate than his friends from the Astral Express? Carefully walking towards the center stage of the Theme Park. They certainly didn't expect the Prince of Briar Valley to be there. What is he doing in a place like this? Deserted. Where he stands alone with only his thoughts accompanying him.

Turning around to face the crowd, he smiles at the sight of them. "Well well... what a glamorous party. The Astral Express... the Emanator.. and the IPC's ambassador.. everyone is here. Fufufu...!"

His usual deep and velvety voice sounded just as soft as always, but somehow for an unknown reason, that tone sounded ominous, sinister even. A chill went down Aventurine's spine. Never had he heard just a tone [Name] before..

"Aventurine.. I've been thinking about this. What should I give to you.. No, what should I give you all? And I finally got the answer."

"Please accept this... It's a gift from the bottom of my heart."

They all look uneasy. A gift? What is it for? For what occasion? A gift for everyone? What is this gift? Gathering his courage, Mr. Yang spoke up in a calm and nervous tone. "Gift? Your Highness... what are you thinking about?"

[Name] can't help but chuckle at those words. "Listen carefully, everyone! I've bestowed a wonderful gift for you all. There's no need to part ways and shed tears again. We shouldn't celebrate "the end" today, it's the "beginning"!"

"Fufu.. yes. All of you will be born again today." Raising a hand, [Name] channels his magic as he smiles sweetly at everyone. His usual friendly smile looks more sinister with every word that came out of his mouth.

"To a world without sorrow where you don't have to lose your family, friends.. everything!"

.

.

The fight is not easy. Far from it. Never would they think that they'll be fighting the Prince of Briar Valley. Fighting someone as skilled as him is a nightmare in itself, but they've survived for this long.. and it seems that [Name] had enough as he engulfed the surrounding area in flames.

"Back off, you fool.. why be afraid? Even though a wonderful future is waiting for you. Now give me your hand, fufufu... hahaha!" Channeling another spell, [Name] smiles warmly to welcome this new era. One without pain and suffering.

"Spinning wheel of fate, keep pulling the thread of disaster. As King of the Abyss, I shall bestow this upon you."

"Fae of Maleficence."

.

.

.

.

.

Drip... drip.. drip... drip... drip.. drip..

The bustling life of Penacony... had come to an abrupt stop.. to embrace another dreamscape. One with no danger.. a safe heven..

A place where they all can live happily as all of Penacony is engulfed in thick thorn walls. Like a cage. "Don't worry... there's nothing to be afraid of. If you surrender to sleep, a thousand years will go by in an instant." The Prince stated with confidence as he calmly walked through the stage of the Theme Park in his new form. A form that he had embraced to fulfill his wish and grant everyone this wonderful gift.

"You all will become the main character of a fairytale."

The tune of the music box he received.. it's such a nice calming tune, yet so ominous..

"I know you.. I walked with you once upon a dream.. I know you.. that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.."

It's a tune no one couldn't possibly be mistaken. Like a lullaby. Maybe those who sent him such a thing.. has the Prince's heart in mind. As he sang a lullaby to help them have a pleasant and wonderful dream. Following the tune of his invitation to this.. place..

"And I know it's true, that visions are seldom what they seem.. but if I know you.. I know what you'll do... you'll love me at once..."

"The way you did once upon.. a... dream..."

[skaldish]

To add onto that last ask abt voting, while I think destroying the system would be beneficial, they're forgetting that there's going to be horrible people participating in the system regardless of our participation and voting for the GOP. How can you destroy a system when a significant chunk of the population is going to enthusiastically participate in it regardless? It's not like Conservative bigots won't vote.

Bruh. Do you know what would happen if you were to destroy the system?

Millions and millions of people will die, starting with the most marginalized and the most vulnerable.

Do you know why? Because the power vacuum left behind by a collapsed government will not stay unoccupied. It will rapidly be filled by whoever is the biggest, nastiest, bloodthirstiest bully on the block.

Why do you think Project 2025 is all about destroying the system? Because the system, again, is the only thing preventing the alt-right from going on an ethnic cleansing spree, killing everyone who doesn't fit their vision of a white ethno-nation.

You will not herald in a golden age of equity by destroying a system that has working checks and balances. You will get a lifetime of stress and living from moment to harrowing moment. You will have to sacrifice getting to be who you are in exchange for becoming a machine for survival.

Anarchy is a beautiful dream, because it's a dream that'll do whatever you want in your mind. It is Intriguing. It is New. It is Different. It looks like a fresh start, a blank canvas...but the error lies in assuming you'll get ANY SAY in how that canvas will get painted. Life is not something we get to shape like that, because it's not something we can control no matter how we organize ourselves. All we can do is figure out how we want to co-habit and co-operate within the ecosystem of all things.

There will always be "bad people" participating in the system, yes, but that's because "bad people" is a construct—bad is a thing we made it up. What's bad in one worldview is good in another. Not only that, everyone is capable of being bad and good, regardless of the morals and values they hold, system or no system.

Additionally, those same bigots who participate in the system now? They will GLADLY participate in a non-system.

Hell, they've got fucking plans for it.

[fictoculus]

Hiiiiii! Can i request some genshin guys reacting to reader refering to them as "my husband" they're not married yet/just dating? As for characters, I'd prefer Tighnari, Albedo, and Cyno (I definitely have a type lol) please 🙏

౨ৎ "my husband..."

send a request!┊masterlist┊taglist applications

FEAT… alhaitham, tighnari, albedo

SYNOPSIS... calling your boyfriend your husband just to get a rise out of him (or you)

A/N... hey anon! thanks for the requesttt i love getting them literally puts a smile on my face ^^ so sorry for taking so long tho, nd also sorry for not writing anything for cyno i js had zero ideas for him, have alhaithtam instead!! anywayyy i was actually planning on writing something like this so great timing!!! hope you enjoyyy ♡

✧ alhaitham.

it's been a long, tiring day, so you and alhaitham decide it's the perfect chance to unwind and finally visit the small café you often pass on your way home.

it's quaint but welcoming, with warm white fairy lights and oak wood accents to highlight the faded walls and exposed brick. however, due to it's size, there is quite a long queue. usually you'd be a little on edge, but with the quiet chatter and soft music, you're able to relax.

just as you begin to scan the menu, a quiet gasp causes you to jolt slightly as your boyfriend taps you on the shoulder.

"[name], i'm so sorry but i have to go back."

"is everything ok?"

"it seems i've forgotten something important. will you be alright by yourself?"

you reassure him with a nod, smiling up at him and urging him to go; the sooner he leaves, the sooner he'll be back.

"i'll be just fine, take your time, love"

"i won't be long"

he places a hurried kiss on your forehead and rushes back to the akademiya, breaking into a run as soon as he's out of your sight.

the queue edges closer and closer to the counter, and you start to give up your space for people behind you in the hopes that alhaitham will return, but eventually you're the only person left in the queue and have no choice but to place an order.

"good evening, um, could i please have..."

you carefully pick out a couple of baked goods you think your boyfriend would enjoy, and take your time selecting the right tea.

"ah, well... my husband has just gone to run an errand but i think he'd like... an oolong tea, please"

as if you somehow summoned him, alhaitham appears beside you with an arm wrapped around your waist.

"yes, that'd be just fine. thank you"

you can feel the heavy rise and fall of his chest against your shoulder, but you say nothing of it until you're sat down with your drinks and snacks.

"are you alright? i didn't mean to hurry you, 'haitham, i know you're tired"

the scholar, however, couldn't care less about having to rush, and completely dismisses your question.

"your husband, hm? i haven't heard that one before"

a sly smirk is plastered on his face, though you know he has no malicious intent, he simply enjoys teasing you, that's all.

"well- i didn't think you'd be back in time and i- it just-"

"don't worry about it, love, i'm only teasing."

he reaches across the table with a smile, holding your hand in his and rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

"in fact, i quite like the idea of being your husband"

you're completely stumped. alhaitham? your husband?

yes, the two of you have been together for quite some time, but never in a million years did you think you deserved to marry him.

"y-you do?!"

"of course i do, love, don't you?"

"yes absolutely! i- it'd be a dream come true"

you blurt out, feeling a heat rushing to your cheeks as they glow a bright pink. usually, you'd be embarrassed, but in this moment, it doesn't matter. it feels as if time has come to a halt, and it's just you and him. alone. together.

at least now he knows you'll say yes...

✧ tighnari.

it's yours and tighnari's 1 year anniversary (hooray!), so of course, the two of you have gone out for a meal at a fancy restaurant, recommended to you by cyno surprisingly.

you absentmindedly read out the menu, whispering any dishes which intrigue you under your breath. it's one of the little habits you have that tighnari finds oh so charming, and he can't help but gaze at you lovingly as he completely disregards the menu and pins all his attention on you.

"are you ready to order?"

a stern voice snaps him back into reality as a waitress approaches the table, taking the pen out of her breast pocket and clicking it against her notepad.

you glance over to your boyfriend, and chuckle to yourself as he panics and skims over the menu hurriedly.

"my husband is having some trouble deciding, so i'll go first if that's alright"

you shoot your boyfriend an 'innocent' smile before placing your order.

"of course, and for you, sir?"

tighnari is completely out of it, your words echoing in his mind as he seems to just float away. "my husband", "my husband", "my husband". he sits there a flustered, blushing mess. how couldn't he be? the love of his life just called him their husband. if it weren't for the waitress stood before you, he'd be burying himself in your chest from the sheer embarrassment. not that he'd be ashamed to be your husband, he'll just never get used to that tugging feeling he gets in his chest when you tease him like this.

"sir? your order?"

"r-right, excuse me..."

you watch intently as he orders, stumbling over his words and fidgeting furiously with the loose fabric of his cape. how cute.

only when you've paid the bill and started heading home does he (nervously) confront you about your teasing, squeezing your hand tightly as he, once again, stumbles over his words.

"so... husband? is- is that something you really want or is it just some little scheme of yours beca-"

"i want nothing more, 'nari"

✧ albedo.

your boyfriend, albedo, is perched on a stool in front of you, painting fervently. painting what, you ask? why, you of course!

a feeling of pure euphoria washes over him every time his eyes outline your figure; you're beautiful. every curve, every dip, every mark, everything about you is a work of art in itself.

it feels like you've been sat there forever, holding your hand to your face and staring out the window, trying your best to be the perfect muse.

after hours of daydreaming, he finally calls you over.

"i'm finished, love. you did so well"

you walk over to him, back slightly sore, rolling your shoulders with a sigh. albedo's warm arm snakes around your waist and gently pulls you down onto his lap, bringing both hands to your shoulders to give you a well deserved massage.

"do you like it?"

he nods towards the canvas, now covered in the most wonderful shades of every colour you can imagine. the way he manipulated the light and shadows is commendable, and the fabric of your carefully styled outfit seems to flow around your body perfectly.

"do i like it?! archons... it's beautiful, 'bedo"

"you're beautiful, [name]"

it looks just like you, and now, finally, you get to see a glimpse of how albedo sees you.

"my husband is just so talented, what in teyvat am i going to do, hm?"

that was all it took for him to loose him composure, looking away from your gaze yet you kept your eyes locked on his. a pink tint dusts over his cheeks, and he seems to grow slightly distant as he processes it all; it's as if you can see the gears turning behind those pretty eyes of his.

"y-your husband?"

he stammers out, hands stilling to rest on your shoulders.

"mm, you don't like it?"

his eyes widen; of course he likes it. the idea of being your husband is something that gets him so giddy he can't sleep at night. just the thought of sliding a ring onto your fingers sends shivers down his spine, and he can feel himself burning up as he stutters:

"o-oh, no, no... i do, i just- i wasn't expecting it, that's all"

best believe he'll be attached to you for the rest of the day, leaning onto your back when you go to get a glass of water, and tugging on your arm as he leads you to bed.

"one day, [name]. one day i really will be your husband, if you'll let me..."

thanks for reading ♡ want to read more? my requests are OPEN, so please feel free to let me know what you’d like me to write next!

TAGLIST…@maopll . @nyxmainex . @avensuersa . @moondrop-gummies apply here

© FICTOCULUS 2024; please do not steal, translate, or repost my works as your own