#yes I know it's not Christmastime anymore who cares?

[newtothewaywardparty]

The Ghost of an Idea 3

Read Stave One: Bobby’s Ghost, Part 1

Read Stave Two: Bobby’s Ghost, Part 2

Stave Two: The First of the Three Spirits, Part 1

When Dean awoke, it was so dark he couldn’t make out the rickety TV stand in the ratty motel room. He blindly fumbled on the nightstand for his phone and checked the time, his eyes squinting against the blue glare of the screen.

To his astonishment, it read 11:58 p.m. Dean had passed out around two in the morning. He swiped his screen to wake it up, checking the date next to the time. Had he actually passed out and slept all the way through the day and into the next night? No, the date still read December 24.

Dean stumbled out of bed and groped his way to the window, pulling aside the curtains, upsetting a cloud of dust that rained cigarette ash smell into the room, clouding his vision and making him cough. When the fine powder settled, Dean almost shrieked. Jo Harvelle stood just outside the window.

She stood still as a statue, unblinking yet unmenacing. Her hair was long and golden, carefully arranged in gentle waves. Mindless of the cold, she wore not her usual hunter’s jeans but rather a long, white sundress, the kind Dean knew chicks sometimes wore to outdoor music festivals. The dress was cinched with a southwestern-style silver concho belt, studded with turquoise. Her well-worn shit-kickers completed the ensemble, Dean noted with a small smile. You could take the girl out of hunting, but you couldn’t take the hunter out of the girl.

The weirdest part was, she seemed to glow from the inside out with a strange light, making her appear both younger and older than when Dean had known her at the Roadhouse and, later, on hunts together. The light emanated strongest from her head, which was just weird. Dean held his arm up like a visor to protect his hungover eyes as he tried to see which version (childlike or ancient) she really was, but it made him dizzy and sick. He was going to blame the sherry.

Dean pulled the window open. Let’s kick this in the ass, he thought. “So you’re Bobby’s first messenger?” he asked.

“That’s right, sweetheart” Jo replied, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past.” She spread her arms wide. She always had a flair for the dramatic, Dean reflected.

“Can you maybe-” Dean waved his other hand to indicate her head, shining like a beacon in the dark parking lot.

“Fine,” she sighed, producing a straw cowgirl hat with a colored beaded band from somewhere and placing it on her head. The light dampened considerably so that Dean could look at her through narrowed eyelids. “But it’s not my fault you can’t look at it.” She pouted a bit, and looked every bit the young woman she had been all those years ago at the Roadhouse in Nebraska. Dean shook that memory away, trying to clear his head.

“Uh,” Dean began. Articulate as always. “So what’s the game plan, here?” The frigid air was beginning to make him shiver, even fully dressed as he had fallen asleep. He grabbed his own arms to stop his shivering.

Jo gave him a lopsided smile. “C’mon Dean. I know you like to pretend to be dumber than a post, but I know you’ve at least seen Scrooged.”

Dean shrugged noncomittally. He was a huge Bill Murray fan. Of course he had seen it, but he wasn’t going to give anything up easily. He was even more reluctant to admit he had seen A Muppet Christmas Carol back at the bunker with Cas. They had sat together on Dean’s bed, comfortable with beer and Funyuns. Dean’s heart clenched as he remembered fielding Cas’ questions. “How can a Pig and a Frog be romantically attracted to each other? How do they reproduce? This movie is extremely scientifically inaccurate, Dean.”

“Let’s go, Dean” Jo said, now seeming older again, confident and immune to Dean’s bullshit, holding out her hand through the window. “We’re burning time here.”

Dean took her hand, a little unsure how she expected him to scramble through the windowsill, high above the ancient radiator. Once they touched, though, he found himself floating, perfectly warm, through the air with her, flying above the Western Kansas countryside. The highway stretched out below them, and Dean could see wind turbines like a field of white sunflowers, their red air safety lights blinking at the top. It was like looking down onto a field of twinkling red Christmas lights.

“I can’t believe you Superman’d me!” Dean shouted over the rushing wind. He couldn’t help grinning widely as they soared over the Flint Hills, the lack of moonlight making their rolling curves seem sharper and deeper.

Jo laughed, a childish bubbling sound. “Can You Read My Mind?” She intoned in mock-serious tones.

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re no Lois Lane, Joanna Beth.” He glanced down to see Mount Oread speeding toward them, the red-tiled roofs of the limestone University buildings visible even in the gloom. “Hey, this is Lawrence!” he exclaimed in recognition. “I grew up near here,” he said, even as they glided over his old elementary school, the playground where he had first learned to swing, pumping his little legs forward and back. It felt like flying. Dean experienced an unfamiliar physical sensation, one which he was unaccustomed to feeling, except on rare occasions of peace with Sam, and of course whenever he and Cas shared companionable moments, like when they had worked that case in Dodge City. He felt light in a way that had nothing to do with the magic of soaring through the air with Jo.

Jo steered them lower until they almost hit the roofs of the houses on the suburban block. “Do you know where you are?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “Sam and I actually worked a case here about ten years back.” He blinked and somehow they were in the living room. He would have been more panicked but time travel had kind of becoming routine for him. Nevertheless, he was still amazed, taking in all the detail his memory had forgotten over the years. An afghan of multicolored granny squares adorned the avocado green and harvest gold plaid couch. A modest tree, draped with tinsel, stood by the window. Dean’s eyes fell to the carnage of empty boxes and wrapping paper under it.

“Oh wow! My Big Wheel!” He ran a hand over the red, yellow, and blue tricycle. “I totally forgot about this! And my G.I. Joe, man, he was so cool.” Dean picked up the action figure (no, it was totally not a doll, thankyouverymuch) and made shooting noises with its little gun. He turned, dropping it, as his eyes widened. “Oh, whoah, I totally remember this-” He started toward the object of his attention when he was interrupted by a man walking into the room.

He wore wide-leg light-wash jeans cinched with a brown belt with a large buckle. His western-style plaid shirt was tight with pearlescent buttons. His hair was shaggy (almost as long as Sam’s now), his face clean-shaven, but Dean would know him anywhere.

“Dad?” Dean breathed. His chest hitched. His Dad did not acknowledge them in any way. Jo placed a reassuring hand on Dean’s arm.

“They can’t hear or see us” she said, a too-kind expression on her face.

“Dean! Get in here, son. I found what I was looking for” John Winchester called. For the first time, Dean noticed the cardboard album cover in John’s hands. A small boy, little more than a toddler, careened into the living room, rushing into his dad’s arms with a squeal. He had a blonde bowl haircut, chunky cheeks, and brown corduroy jeans. Dean flinched, instinctively guarding against John’s reaction. His father only gathered the boy up in a bear hug and roared.

“All right, little monster,” John said, after setting young Dean down on the braided rug. “I want to show you how to use this new tool.” Dean’s mouth fell open as the man indicated the toy adult Dean had been wanting to get his hands on, an orange plastic Fisher-Price record player in its own portable case, designed for young hands.

With patience Dean had never seen John Winchester use anytime in his conscious memory, his father explained, step-by-step to his child self how to carefully place the vinyl on the turntable, turn it on, and place the needle. The album in use was John Denver’s Poems, Prayers, & Promises. After completing his explanation, John kindly coached young Dean through the steps himself, praising the child when he did something correctly, and gently correcting him when he forgot the order of steps or was too rough. Preschool Dean beamed, eyes gleaming, when “Sunshine on my Shoulders” began playing from the player’s tiny speakers. John patted him on the shoulder, silently approving.

“Boys!” came a voice from the kitchen. “Supper’s almost ready.” Dean’s mother appeared at the doorway, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. Mary’s skin was flushed from the heat of cooking. She was lovely and warm, just as Dean remembered. “Go get washed up now” she said, in a not-at-all-stern tone, putting her hands on her hips, her belly heavy with Sam, who would be born in the spring. Dean drank her in greedily. This was Christmas 1982. Dean was just three years old. This was his last Christmas with his mom. Their last Christmas as a family. Before…

Jo interrupted him. “What’s that on your cheek, Dean?”

Dean sniffed “Sweat. It’s too damn hot in here.” Jo pretended not to see him discreetly swipe at his eyes with the back of a sleeve. He resumed watching as his small family gathered around the oak table piled high with ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and of course, his mom’s homemade apple pie. Little Dean sat in a green molded plastic booster, eating enthusiastically with his Bert and Ernie and Big Bird silverware, his parents chatting happily on either side. Dean shook his head. “Poor kid,” he uttered under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jo. She raised an eyebrow knowingly.

“I just…” Dean struggled to find the words. I barely remember this, but at least I had it once. Sam never had it all, even though I tried my best. Now it’s Jack’s first Christmas, and…” he shrugged, stuffing his hand in his pockets. “I just wish I had maybe stuck around; shown him a good one. Like this.”

Jo smiled thoughtfully and waved her hand. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand” she said brightly, and suddenly they were in a different living room. Dean recognized the tan velour couch instantly. This was Sonny’s farmhouse, the boy’s home where he had spent a couple of months in 1995 after he had gotten nabbed for stealing food for Sam. Teen-aged him sat on the couch, sucking face with Robin.

Dean whirled on Jo. “What the hell? This wasn’t even at Christmas!”

“Your history didn’t leave a plethora of choices. We had to make do with what we had.” Jo shot back, defensively.

“We?” inquired Dean.

Jo gave him a sharp smile. “When Bobby Singer calls, I answer.” She shrugged. “Plus, I’m not gonna pass up the chance to work one last case with a Winchester.” She winked at him, then nudged his arm. “Shhh, or you’ll miss it.”

They turned back to the teenagers making out on the couch. They were discussing the upcoming school dance. “I’m not going anywhere, Robin.” Grown-up Dean winced at those words. He knew how much he meant them at the time. How quickly he’d forget them once John showed up with Sam in tow. Sam would come first, before anything else, for a long time after that.

“She was your first love.” Jo said, a soft look on her face. Dean’s face didn’t leave young Robin. He nodded.

“You never loved anyone like this again.” stated Jo. She looked older now, tired and sad.

Dean whipped his head toward her. “I have so!” he retorted.

“Not like this,” said Jo. “Not in that whole, pure, unguarded way.” The scene around them shifted. Sixteen-year-old Dean was tying his tie over that dorky short-sleeved dress shirt, and Sonny was telling him his father was here to take him away.

“This was the moment, Dean.” Jo said, voice low and deliberate. “The moment you discovered giving your heart to someone could mean getting it broken.” Dean’s tracked his young self helplessly as he went to the window, looking out at John and Sam. Followed the boy, he was just a kid, as he shook hands, brave face through tears with Sonny. Jo continued: “You always held yourself back after this. Cassie, Lisa, anyone else; you never really let them in.”

Dean grit his teeth and whirled on Jo. “Good talk, Russ. Next stop?” Jo touched his hand and they stood on the shore of a lake Dean had never wanted to see again in his life or any other. He barely had time to draw a breath before his eyes landed on Cas, blade sticking through his check, blue light escaping his mouth and eyes. Shit.

Read Stave Two: The First of the Three Spirits, Part 2

[bellshells]

Splitting Hairs ch. 7

Hello dearies, chapter seven is here. It’s a long one again, so strap yourselves in. As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read this it means the absolute world <3

Severus x OC  Summary: Sad Sev is sad tm. Minerva is brill and Valentine is honest.  Warnings: Angst, mentions of unforgivable curses, bit o’ blood n that.  Word Count: 3586

Previous chapter Next chapter Start from the beginning

It was the final week before the Christmas holidays and Severus was miserable. Now, that’s not to say that Severus being miserable around Christmastime wasn’t a common occurrence; but this year was different. Severus had all but shut off communications with everybody bar Minerva, although their visits to each other were now short and full of long silences. Severus felt like he was constantly treading water, if he were to falter slightly- he would drown. He withdrew himself from everything; Quidditch matches, meetings, his revision groups, until finally he stopped eating in the Great Hall all together; choosing instead to lock himself away in his chambers. It became so rare to see Professor Snape anywhere other than his classroom, and people knew better than to ask questions. But in truth, if anyone were to ask Severus why he was suffering so, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to give a cohesive answer. He felt the weight of the term as it constricted around his neck, what he intended it to be (a tedious bore), and what it transpired to be (anything but), were two completely different things.

He missed Valentine. He missed her with a burning intensity that he was not familiar with, yet it had become as necessary to him as breathing. From the minute he opened his eyes he felt the burning, it started in his chest and by mid-morning it had consumed his very being, it reminded him that he was still alive. That although he was hurting, he was not entirely broken because he had allowed himself to feel. He had not known exactly why it hurt so to think about Valentine, perhaps he was merely embarrassed for allowing her to bewitch him, or perhaps he was rather fond of her and felt betrayed-? Either way, he had neither sight nor sound from her since the night he had visited her chambers, and she had revealed that her father was an acquaintance of Lucius Malfoy’s. Severus winced as he recalled the conversation, she had told him she had pursued him due to boredom and Severus had wept when he had reached the safe confines of his bed. He felt stupid. He felt used, but more importantly, any ounce of sympathy he felt for Valentine had vanished. Yes, he desired her- as any man would. But, after the callous way she had treated him, he cared not for any ‘danger’ she might have found herself in. It didn’t concern him, whatever it was, and Severus was content with that.  

He struggled immensely with the idea of him having a ‘purpose’. Since the Dark Lord had fallen, Severus had to ingratiate himself with his colleagues for fear of being cast out. None of them had trusted him when he had taken up his post and quite rightly too, but it had been ten years- or there abouts, and Severus was still there, trying to compel people to believe his version of the story. But surely, as Severus had thought for several years, Albus had no real need for him anymore. He could understand that, as the dust settled those first few years after what happened happened, he was a necessary evil required to bridge any gaps that surfaced on the road to a social and economic recovery for the Wizarding community. At least, that’s how Albus had worded it and Severus knew better than to challenge him. Severus had played his part in the war, and he had done what Albus had asked him to do in exchange for what Severus wanted.

Almost as if he had apparated there, Severus could feel the cool night air whip around his face as he had pleaded with, no, begged Albus to help spare the lives of Lily and her son. Albus had been indifferent he remembered, almost cold. But now he knew that you don’t get something for nothing with the Dumbledores and Albus was no exception. Did the headmaster forget what Severus had sacrificed all those years ago? Had he forgotten that Severus had been hurled toward a chasm of despair at the loss of his friend and did he just expect him to continue? Ultimately, Severus thought that Albus didn’t care one way or the other what happened to him, or anybody else, so long as they achieved what was right. Severus was just a little pawn in a big boy’s game of chess, whichever side he landed on didn’t matter. He wondered if that was why Valentine had affected as much as she did, of course there was the obvious, the searing resemblance she bared to Lily; but Severus had become almost accustomed to it now. The jolt of pain it used to cause in chest was dulled to a small ache when he looked at her. Or perhaps, it was because she was the first person in years that he felt he had a connection with, that what they shared was something special that he could proudly confirm was his.

It had been three weeks since he had seen her. He was so angry with her still, his mind scoured over every conversation they had had, every nice word she had given him and had scratched them out with a big red line. They were wrong, all wrong and all lies. Now what was left was a yearning for what they shared and an anger that fuelled him to put one foot in front of the other. He had to continue, he had to get to the end of term and get himself home. Home, whatever that meant. Spinner’s End. Cokeworth, the place where dreams go to die. He would usually stay at the castle over Christmas, but this year he didn’t have it in him. He wanted to be as far away from this place as humanly possible and for the first time in his life, his childhood home that was often filled with fear and rage, offered him a solace that he didn’t think possible.

It must have been near seven when there was a knock at the door. Severus grumbled to himself as he opened it a crack, Minerva stood anxiously on the other side, she offered him a small smile. “Severus? May I come in?” Severus grunted in agreement and opened the door wide enough for his friend to enter, he flounced into a chair and gestured for her to join him. “How are you?” Minerva asked cautiously, she tapped her foot nervously as Severus regarded her. She looked worried and Severus felt uncomfortable. “I’m well, and yourself?” He replied after a small silence, Minerva frowned slightly and sat back in her chair. “Fine, thank you.” She paused, “Would you like to accompany me to dinner this evening?” Minerva looked at him hopefully, she knew what had transpired between Severus and Valentine through a hastily written note pushed under her office door. He had requested not to talk about it after the fact, she had obliged, of course she had, but Severus knew Minerva well enough to know she had questions. He wondered whether she would have probed Valentine any further about the letter from her father. Knowing what they knew about her connection to Lucius Malfoy would be enough to arouse suspicions in anybody, but that paired with a mysterious warning from Azkaban was more than worrying. “Before you answer,” Minerva began, “Elizabeth has been on a leave of absence for the last two weeks, so she won’t be in attendance. Also, there’s a nasty flu going around, and the infirmary is fit to burst so, turnout is a bit thin.” Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He shot Minerva a pained look, he was grateful for his friend, however he was also weary. But he didn’t want to cause her any more distress. “Will you sit with me?” He asked in a small voice, Minerva’s eyes glistened. She rose from her seat and pulled Severus up by his hands. “Of course I will, dear boy. I’ll be by your side.” She pulled him into her embrace tightly, “I’ve been so worried Severus.” He hugged her firmly, he scrunched his nose in order to halt the tears that threatened to escape. Minerva pulled away but held him at arm’s length and Severus smiled slightly.

 When they were seated Severus could really see the effects of the flu Minerva had mentioned in full force, the long student tables were barely half full, and coughs and sneezes were in abundance. Severus flinched as yet another rumbling cough trundled toward him as students passed in front of the high table. “Well this is divine.” Severus muttered slyly to Minerva as she rolled her eyes. “Shall I conjure us a couple of plague masks?” “Your nose wouldn’t fit.” Minerva said with a smirk as Severus spluttered on his drink, a real smile emerged on his face and laugh left his chest. Minerva’s smile suddenly faltered as she gazed passed Severus to the other end of the high table, Severus followed her gaze until it ultimately settled on a dishevelled figure which sat themselves uncomfortably at the very end of the table. “Merlin, would you like to leave, Severus?” Minerva’s words felt miles away as Severus’ eyes met Valentine’s from across the expanse. The redhead looked awful, her eyes were bloodshot and were surrounded with dark circles. She had a large bruise on her cheek and her bottom lip was swollen and red with a sizeable cut. She lifted her hand to push her long hair which hung limply around her face, behind her ear and he could see her knuckles were split and bruised. “What’s happened to her?” Severus whispered to Minerva without taking his gaze from Valentine. “I don’t know, she’s been away.” Minerva sounded concerned as the pair watched Valentine struggle to pick up her goblet, she seemed to be in incredible pain. “Has she broken her hand?” Severus shrugged his shoulders and forced his gaze back to his own plate, his heart thundered in his chest. He could feel it begin to heave shallowly, and his hands gripped onto the edge of the table. Minerva squirmed in her seat; she craned her neck to get a better look at Valentine who now struggled to use her fork. “Oh, she needs to go to the infirmary. This isn’t on.” The deputy headmistress slyly stood from her seat and hurried to the other end of the table and crouched down next to Valentine. Severus watched from the corner of his eye as Minerva whispered into Valentine’s ear and the two stood and exited the Great Hall, Minerva’s hand under Valentine’s arm; guiding her carefully as they walked.

Severus contemplated his options for a moment, he didn’t feel comfortable sitting in the hall by himself so he could either return to his rooms or he could follow Valentine and Minerva. His heart ached for her, she looked like she had taken a brutal beating and Severus felt a quiet rage build in his chest. His affirmations that he didn’t care what happened to her, that she was a liar and not worthy of his time disappeared as he replayed the visions of her injuries in his mind. Whatever was happening in her life was obviously dangerous and for whatever reason she felt like she couldn’t divulge any information to him, but that didn’t alter the fact that she needed help. He stood from his place at the table and followed the same route previously taken by Minerva and Valentine.

They were already in the infirmary when Severus caught up with them, Poppy was fussing with Valentine, ushering her down to the very end of the busy ward and into a room off to the side. Minerva followed hastily, ignoring the lines of sneezing students and opening the door for the nursing mistress as she supported Valentine into the room. Severus waited a moment or two before creeping silently passed the long lines of beds full of students in various degrees of wellness and knocking on the door to the private room. He didn’t wait to be invited in, instead opening the door and slipping inside. Poppy looked over in his direction as she helped Valentine onto the bed and removed her shoes. “She’s had a nasty Cruciatus, Severus,” Minerva whispered as she sidled next to him. “She must have fallen as well.” “It looks like she’s done a lot more than fall, Minerva.” Severus muttered. They watched as Poppy sat Valentine up and tried to remove Valentine’s jacket, the young witch winced with pain as she withdrew her arms from the sleeves. Poppy lifted her shirt at the back and gasped, she looked at Severus, her face pale. “Severus, would you mind?” Poppy hastened, Severus was by her side in two quick steps and felt the bile rise in his throat as he regarded the deep lacerations painted across Valentine’s back. Severus slowly extended a finger and gently traced the outline of one of the bigger ones, Valentine whimpered at the touch and Minerva moved forward to grasp her hand. Poppy looked up at Severus worriedly, pulling Valentine’s shirt further up until it rested atop her shoulders. “What do you think, Severus? Is it-” “Sectumsempra? Yes.” He confirmed stiffly. Poppy only nodded sombrely as she produced her wand and started to chant the Vulnera Sanentur quietly, Valentine groaned, and Poppy nodded at Severus to help. He grasped Valentine’s shoulders to steady her in place as Poppy worked on closing the wounds on her back. How long had she been like this? Whomever had cast the spell, his spell had done so haphazardly, it wasn’t strong enough to cause a haemorrhage and Valentine was able to get away. He whizzed through the names of people who knew about the curse in his head, fuck there were so many. All of them vile too, who on earth had Valentine pissed off for them to do this? Not only had she’d been a victim of the Cruiciatus curse, but someone had really wished to hurt her with the curse of his own devising, you were not supposed to be able to walk away from it.  

Valentine’s face was contorted with pain as Poppy tried to work as swiftly as she could. She writhed under Severus’ grip and he felt sorry for her. “Minerva,” Poppy said quietly, not looking up from her work. “I think it best to fetch the headmaster.” Minerva stood at once and left the room, she closed the door softly behind her and Severus turned his attention back to Valentine who still squirmed on the bed, tears fell her closed eyes and Severus’ heart once again ached for her. “Just try and keep still,” Severus said gently, “Nearly finished now.” Valentine didn’t respond but she nodded and took a deep breath. She seemed to relax slightly as Poppy started on the third incantation, allowing Severus to bear more of her weight by leaning into his hold. Satisfied with her work, Poppy stood back from Valentine and ran her hand over the healed skin. Still tender, Valentine flinched. “I think we’ll just pop this top in the bin, don’t you, Elizabeth?” Poppy said as she tapped Severus’ hands away and carefully lifted Valentine’s shirt over her head and over her arms. Severus’ eyes widened and he turned his back immediately. Valentine let out a weak laugh; “I think we’re passed all that, Sev.” Valentine said feebly, he turned to look at her and she offered him a tired unconvincing smile, her bruised hand covering her breasts. He returned her smile weakly and took a step toward her. She extended a hand to him and without thinking, he took it and perched on the seat next to the bed. “Good job you’re not wearing a brassiere my dear, or that could have been very fiddly.” Poppy said cheerfully as she rustled through the standing wardrobe and pulling out a hospital gown and shaking it in Valentine’s direction. Severus took the gown from the nurse as she helped Valentine stand, Poppy turned her away from Severus giving him a good look at Valentine’s back. Poppy really had done a marvellous job in closing Valentine’s wounds; but she would always have the scars. But you would never guess that they were fresh and bloody only moments ago. Poppy asked Severus to support Valentine’s arms as she unfastened Valentine’s trousers and instructed her to step out of them, which she did unsteadily. Severus presented the young with the sleeves of the gown, careful to not let his body touch hers. She pushed her arms through, and Severus pulled it over her shoulders and worked on fastening the ties at the back.

“We’ve been here before, haven’t we?” Valentine laughed softly followed by a cough. Severus couldn’t help but smile at the memory of the first night they met, zipping her dress after dealing with another of her calamities. After helping her back onto the bed and pulling the covers over her lap Poppy turned to Valentine with a smile; “I’ll be back in two ticks, just need to give one of the Weasley boys a drop of Sleeping Draught.” She made her way to the door and stopped just before she opened it, “Will you be alright with Severus, dear?” “Oh yes, I’ll be fine.” Valentine answered with a smile. “Lovely, I’ll be back to reset the bones in your hand. Won’t be nice, but you’ll thank me for it in the morning.” Poppy offered both a smile as she left, leaving the two of them in silence.

“Would you like to tell me what happened?” Severus spoke first; he brushed his hands over his trousers and placed them neatly in his lap. Valentine bit her bruised lip before she answered. “Not really.” She smiled weakly. “Please don’t feel like you have to sit with me, Severus. I understand if you’re angry with me.” “Whether I am angry or not is of no pertinence. You mustn’t be left unattended, and it seems like I am the only one here.” He said flatly. “Those wounds on your back. Who gave them to you?” “Why does it matter?” Valentine groaned and she studied her broken hand in the dim light. “It matters to me.” “Why?”

Because although he would swear otherwise, he cared for her and he wanted her to be safe. “Because you’re a good friend to Minerva, and she’ll only worry.” He said coolly, Valentine nodded sadly. A silence settled between them, and although it wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable Severus felt he should break it.   “I feel like I should apologise to you, Severus.” Valentine said, startling him. He looked at her then, as she hunched over on the bed. He felt sorry for her, she looked so small and meek. A shadow of the gregarious woman he had met in the summer. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I would like to say it nonetheless.” Severus raised an eyebrow and waited. “I’m sorry for what I said to you. None of it was true, I said it to get a reaction from you. It was immature, and I’m sorry.” “So you admit it?” “Pardon?” “You admit it?” “Admit what?” “That you were pursing me?” “What?” “You admit that you were pursing me. And now you attest that it wasn’t due to boredom. That is, interesting.” Severus smirked. Valentine looked confusedly at him, he enjoyed it. He had power in this moment, and he relished in the energy that passed between them. Him, in control of the situation.   “I have a genuine interest in you Severus, why is that a difficult concept to grasp?” She questioned as she tried to lie down on the bed. Almost as if she had forgotten, she yelped in pain as her back touched the mattress. She shot up again and Severus lurched towards her, he pulled her into his arms and tried his best to soothe her. Valentine wept as she clung to Severus with her good hand, he kissed the top of her head deeply.

“Did you try to run?” He whispered into her hair; he traced his fingers ever so lightly over her back. It was an odd place to be hit by the curse, he wondered if she had tried to escape after she had been curcio’d. Valentine nodded and sniffed pathetically. Severus felt his stomach drop, she had tried to get away and someone had hit her with his curse. “Oh darling.”

They stayed that way for a moment or two, Severus gently rocking back and forth with Valentine in his arms. He hummed quietly to himself, he remembered his mother doing this for him when he was a child. It didn’t remember it ever making him feel better, but it was worth a try. When he heard the young witch’s breathing relax he turned her face to his with a finger and thumb.

“So, you admit it.” He said gently, if he wasn’t mistaken he could have sworn Valentine rolled her eyes.

“What am I admitting to this time?” She sighed. “That you are interested in me-” “Are you twelve, Severus?” “Perhaps,” he chuckled. “But I feel it important to share that I-” he coughed, Valentine looked at him with an expectant smile. “I have an interest in you, also. So…there, yes.” He gazed into Valentine’s bloodshot green eyes and smiled.

“Kiss me.” She whispered. Severus of course, complied eagerly. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

Are you excited for the holidays? Yesss.  Are you watching anything on tv right now? No, I’m watching/listening to an ASMR video. 

Who is your best friend? My mom. What does the word love mean to you? That’s a complex thing. Can you play any instruments? No.

When's your birthday? July 28th. What do you want for Christmas? I don’t know. Actually, my family and I have been talking about maybe going somewhere for Christmas instead and putting our money towards that. I’ve always wanted to experience Christmastime with the snow, so that would be really fun. What time is it right now? 4:41AM. Should you be doing something else besides this survey? Sleeping, probably. ha. Are you a facebook addict? No, definitely not. I go on there, but I don’t spend much time on it. Do you understand Chuck Norris jokes? I remember that was a big thing when I was in middle school for some reason and I didn’t know who he was. Then when I did, I just knew him from informercials.  Do you have a pet cat? Nope. Name one tattoo you would like to get someday. I’ve wanted to get ‘free bird’ for several years, but I just don’t see myself ever getting it done. Do you like the color pink? Yeah. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I could. Are you afraid of stink bugs? I’m afraid of ALL bugs. Do you always burn your toast? No. Actually, I usually end up not toasting it long enough. Do you have a printer? Yeah. What is the closest thing to you that's yellow? A couple of hair clips. Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? Yes. They’re not meant to be embarrassing, but I just think they’re really ugly so they’re embarrassing to me. Do you wear contact lenses? No. Do you not agree that gas prices are ridiculous? So I’ve heard. How's the weather where you're at? Hot and miserable. Do you have a cell phone? Yeah. Do you still live at home? Yes. Are you currently enrolled in college? No, I graduated back in 2015. Do you have a drivers liscence? Nope. Name one event that made you happy today :) Not much has happened, it’s only 4 in the morning. Do you listen to what others say about you? Depends. Have you ever played Farmville? Nah, I never got into that. What is your favorite video game? Mario Bros, The Sims, and Life is Strange. What song represents your life the best? I don’t know. How fast can you type? Pretty fast. What are you afraid of the most in life? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life. Do you have a religion? I’m a Christian. Are you into anime? No. Do you prefer day over night? I prefer night over day. How many hours of sleep do you get per night? Eh, 5 at most usually. Do you have any siblings? I have two brothers. Have you ever donated to a charity? Yeah. What is your worst feature? Everything. What is the last thing you've eaten? Ramen. What's the longest you've ever stayed awake for? Like 30 something hours. Do you believe in soul mates? I don’t know. Who is your hero and why? My mom. She’s just very selfless, caring, hardworking, and does so much for me. Who is your favorite musical artist? I have several. Do you have a secret talent? If I do it must be a secret to me then, too. What is your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow. When is your father's birthday? March 20th. What are you doing besides this survey? Watching/listening to an ASMR video. What do you do in your spare time? All my time is spare time since I don’t have a job, I’m done with school, and I don’t have anything else that takes up my time. Everyday consists of much of the same: checking social medias, watching TV, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, watching YouTube, perhaps some coloring, eating, and resting. Do you still like to take naps? Yeah, even though I always feel groggy and bleh afterwards.  Do you have any children? No. Have you ever danced in the rain? Yeah. Do you watch the Disney Channel? No, not anymore. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve watched anything on there. I like watching shows from younger days I liked on there on Disney+, though. Those were the good ol’ days.  What was your last dream about? I don’t remember. Do you swear? Sometimes. Are you a sarcastic person? I have my moments. Are you bad at spelling? No, I don’t think so. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Walmart. Do you overthink things? Oh yes. What is your biggest pet peeve? One of them is eating sounds.

[teacup-crow]

Things That Make it Warm

Zombies Run Secret Santa fic for @whirly-wind! Thanks for organising @runnerzero, @goblinsharkz and @notforconsumption. Spoilers up to S5M24 below the cut :)

Hi Mystery! I was so so so excited to get you because you’re always lovely about my writing, especially my Tom/Jody stuff 😍 this is the story of them getting to know each other (with a Christmas involved, because Christmas is romantic right?)

Apologies that it starts off just a LITTLE bit angsty but it’s these two and angst just happens to them. A writer can only do so much. I promise there’s festive fluff in there!

I hope you enjoy this! Merry Christmas!

((Stole the title from a Cavetown song because I hate naming things!))

*****

“Jody’s running slowly, so she’ll give ‘em a good chase.”

She almost has to swallow a laugh at Sam’s sweet admiration. Jody’s running slowly because everything hurts, because this idea is crazy, because it might be the last run ever gazing at an Abel sunrise, orange and pink flecking the horizon, and she wants to see it before-

Boom. The explosion rattles her teeth, her bones, smoke rising behind her. She doesn’t look back. She knows better.

“Miss Marsh! To me!”

Tom grabs her hand and before she can process anything at all they’re sprinting. Her heart and lungs are burning; it’s been months since she ran like this, weeks since her muscles atrophied, and the pain shoots through her legs at every step until she feels nauseous. But they’re running. At some point, she lets the bundle fall from stiff arms, a pile of empty blankets. Tom whispers something, and vanishes into the dust he created.

***

“We are not leaving you here.”

“Ian won’t kill me. He knows I still have some useful things inside my broken noggin.” His smile is lopsided, his eyes slightly glittery. Jody doesn’t know him that well, really, but that look has never been a good one on him. She pats his arm, and it dulls a little. She leaves her hand there.

“Isn’t that a reason to get you out?”

He swallows. “I can’t… I can’t promise that I’ll…”

“You saved my life. You’re coming with us.”

She knows, even though his sister might protest out loud, that Janine is grateful to her for making the call. She knows her so well she can hear that the woman’s shoulders have dropped just a bit in relief.

***

Tom likes Noah Base.

It’s warm, and enclosed, and safe. He can feel the presence of walls around him at all times. When he whistles, it echoes. It’s familiar. 

When he was younger, being inside used to bore him silly. Paperwork was the worst part of the job; as a boy, Jane did his homework more often than not. Back in Karachi, the memories warm and soft as parchment, he’d play football with the neighbourhood kids late into the night, everyone teasing but good-natured, curious about the white boy who spoke Urdu like a local. The calls of other boys’ mothers rang out as the day grew long until at last they’d scatter at the figure of his father, the ambassador cutting a long shadow across the evening, rumbling “Thomas? Thomas? Time to come home.”

A couple of years later, he lay out on the family’s broad flat roof, breathless - hiding from his sister so she wouldn’t see him crying about their parents, about being ripped away from everything and everyone they knew. Hiding from the men from the embassy, so he couldn’t hear the bad news. So they couldn’t take him to England.  Outside there were birds soaring above him, the sun shining like any other day. He didn’t have to confront reality.

And after that, inside meant dull lessons at boarding school far away from Jane, where he actually had to concentrate to keep at the top of the class, and inside meant stuffy offices with stuffy bureaucrats who would never understand the realities of field work no matter how often they were explained, and then inside was three bare walls of concrete and agony and time.

When the open air was no longer a choice, when life became nothing but a cube, six by six, lights off more often than on, inside became more comforting. There, nobody could sneak up behind him. It was easy to keep one eye open. If you stay in the corner, you’re never surrounded. It’s outside where things go horribly wrong. Outside is where the crawling men eat human flesh. Outside is where Jane and the others left him behind. 

And so, years later, England again, he’d slip off his cuffs in his new cell and finally manage to relax enough to rebuild some of his sanity. He knew now that inside isn’t the problem. Being trapped there is.

Noah Base is safe. He can map out the whole place in his head, learn fourteen different escape routes, ranked from worst to best.

Noah Base is better than safe.

Noah Base has Jody in it.

***

Jody, for one, feels cooped up.

It’s okay, at first. Things were worse than this right after the outbreak. She’d stayed in a Tube station for a couple of nights, only peeking her head above ground to try and get decent reception to call her mum. When her phone gave up the ghost, she trekked it out of London. But sometimes, especially now, she still thinks of the noise, the irrepressible heat, sickness already spreading like wildfire. 

It’s okay, at first. She knits. She stretches. Builds up her core strength again. Takes lectures on strategy. Starts to actually read Janine’s notes, to Sam’s disgust. She keeps positive as morale begins to drop, until one morning she doesn’t get out of bed at all. 

Tom arrives at her door with a plate of cold toast and strawberry jam.

“You weren’t at breakfast.”

Of course. He notices everything.

“I wasn’t hungry,” she replies, then bites her lip. If anything, the latest messages from Abel make her far too sick to eat. Steve, inexhaustibly flirtatious, convivial, suave Steve, had sounded shattered. Half-rations. Quarter-rations. Ian’s getting… more unbalanced. Kefi reckons half the town is anaemic.

“Come in if you like, I’m decent.”

“You need to eat something,” he insists, pushing the door ajar and handing the plate up to her. She sits up, back against the wall, and tries to give him a wobbly smile.

“What’s the matter, Miss Marsh?”

“I just… can’t believe we left them.”

And she bursts into tears. He pats her arm.

He doesn’t rationalise anything to her.

He thinks that, just maybe, it’s worse to be the leaver than the left.

***

She’s so strong.

He watches her with a bow and arrow hit one- two- three targets in the centre, more accurate and deadly than his own hand with a pistol. She swings up the climbing frame like a monkey, upside down and ten feet in the air. The gym in Noah Base is cramped - what isn’t? - but training is manageable with the lack of equipment to fill the space. Peter - the man who found them this place, the man with the silver tongue, the man who hurt his sister - is at the weights. He’s always in Tom’s peripheral vision; Jane only puts him there to keep an eye, he knows that.

“Whoop!” Jody swings down from the ropes triumphantly and rolls to a halt. He clicks the stopwatch.

“One-forty-seven. Your fastest time yet, Miss Marsh. That was excellent.”

“You can stop calling me that any time you like, you know.”

“Nonsense. What would I call you then?”

She looks up at him, quite serious. He’s maybe a foot taller than she is. He’s a madman. A murderer. But there’s not an ounce of fear in her gaze, not anymore. When her hair is tied back like that, he can see her face properly, the fading freckles, soft straight hair, her laughing eyes, the cleft in her chin, the birthmark on her cheek.

“...Jody’s fine, Tom.”

“I… yes.” He blinks away in embarrassment. “If you would prefer that name. Yes.”

“Not if it makes you uncomfortable. Anyway, I’m going to try that again. I just know I can beat you.”

“And then you’ll take a break?”

“We’ll see,” she grins, and jogs back to the start.

She’s not only physically strong; she’s been through so much and she hasn’t let it harden her. She looks at every new day like an opportunity, a sunrise, swallowing back the bitter pill of life with orange juice. Not like him. He’s so far past broken he doesn’t even remember what wholeness tastes like; some important part of his soul still lies in that cage, rotting. So how can he be falling in love?

***

It just doesn’t feel like Christmastime.

The last few Christmases have fallen into some kind of routine, at least. They were bare and hard but everyone was together, kids faces lighting up as they decorated the township, people working together to make it as okay as possible. A bit more frivolity, a bit more food. 

It’s December already, and nobody has even mentioned it.

Steve hasn’t sent a message in a good while, and the radio silence is making all of them itchy. Five’s been gone for weeks; Cameo’s probably dead. Everyone she cares about is probably-

“Jodes? Can you help me with this?”

It’s Tom, sprawled on his stomach on her bedroom floor, attempting to darn a sock and failing miserably. She laughs.

“They didn’t have darning as a class at Harrow?”

“Not that I remember, but I can recite some Latin at you if you’d like.” 

“That sounds extremely helpful.” She swings down from the bunk and looks closer. “Have you just been tying knots in this?”

“I was trying to…” he stares at the sock in his hands with a rueful expression. “It appears that yes, I have just been tying knots in it.”

“Okay,” she sits down cross-legged and takes it from him to start unpicking. “At least you’re honest.”

“Where did you learn to sew and knit?”

“Our church hall ran a youth club. They’d do snacks and activities after school most days, and Mum always liked us out doing something; there were four of us and she didn’t want us under her feet all afternoon. I was a big fan of the needlework table. Who knew it would come in so handy, hey?”

“I have underestimated it.” 

He rests his chin on his hands, intently watching her work. Her fingers are so small and quick compared to his. Her gaze flits between the sock and his face. It’s weathered and worn but she still sees warmth and handsomeness there, between the cracks in his scarred armour. The way he’s kept an eye on her every day since that breakfast, just to make sure she’s holding up. She shakes her head, and passes it back to him.

She can’t fall in love with Janine’s brother.

***

It’s the day before Christmas Eve, and Sam hasn’t let Five out of his sight for more than two consecutive hours since they got back to Noah Base, his hand stuck to theirs with glue. They’d normally protest this, but yet another dusting of horror and shadow under their eyes has cut their counterargument short. They nod to Jody when they see her request, and make some excuse about going to ask Janine about work assignments, hobbling a little on a twisted ankle. She appreciates it.

“Sam! Finally got you alone for a minute!”

“Jody! What can I do for you?”

He’s almost himself again, grinning at her from the chaotic comms desk that he’s tacked a bit of tinsel to. She can nearly forget the sound of his screaming last week when Five practically died in that godforsaken maze. It turns out nobody is better at picking up and piecing back together than Sam Yao.

“How did you know that… how did you…”

She pushes the door closed, and clears her throat. “How did you know that you liked Five?”

 His grin broadens. “Jody, you like someone?”

“Shut up.”

“I thought you didn’t have crushes!”

“I didn’t. I don’t. Well, maybe I do. I don’t know!”

“Well, describe it to me.”

“It’s like…” God, his smile is dopey. “Stop looking at me like that, Sam, you’re putting me off! It’s like… every time I look at him I feel warm, and the world feels a little bit softer, more yellow, and I just want to protect him. Like, I’d die happy if I knew he’d be safe. And his face. His jawline. I… you’re giggling!”

“Tell me more, tell me more!”

She lobs a stack of rotas at him half-heartedly. He ducks.

“He’s just… so clever and so kind. And he’s still hurting, and I wish he would stop.” She sighs, warming to her theme. “Janine will go mad with me if she hears about it.”

Sam’s face goes slack with shock. “Oh my God. You like Peter?”

“Jesus Christ, Sam, no! I like Tom!”

“Oh, that makes so much more sense!” He chuckles, and then adds: “You do know he’s still a bit...”

“And Five isn’t?”

It comes out defensive, and she immediately wishes she’d bit her tongue, but he doesn’t get annoyed. He shrugs. 

“You’re right, Five isn’t well either. Both of them have been through… stuff we can’t even imagine. Done things that people maybe shouldn’t forgive.”

“Who hasn’t.” Jody says darkly. 

“Exactly. Their hearts are in the right place, but… just be careful, Jodes.”

Lines like but he would never hurt me and things are different now are not lines she likes to have run through her head. She heard those lines often enough as a little girl, when her brother Cameron was still in nappies and she herself barely out of them but already knowing they were lies. Her mum’s taste in men had got better by the time she’d had the twins, but Jody didn’t forget. She’d vowed to never, ever need anyone that volatile that much. 

And yet - here she is.

“So. How’d you know you liked Five?”

“I just,” he flushes. “One day I woke up and just knew. My heart belonged to them. I couldn’t get it back. When they’re not around… it hurts.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s it. Oh Sam, what am I going to do?”

“You could just tell him?”

“Yeah. No.” She swings around in the office chair as she talks. “What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if I make him uncomfortable? He’s going through a lot still, deep down, and I don’t want to add to it, or put him under any pressure.”

“He’s a six foot three MI6 Commander, Jodes, I somehow don’t think you’ll be pressuring him into anything.”

“I suppose... but you keep your mouth closed, no matter what, okay? I don’t want to hear this anywhere outside of this room.”

“Just tell him you like him!” Sam calls after her as she heads back down the corridor.

***

“You’re coming to me for advice about women?”

Tom’s already realised that this was probably a bad idea, but he can’t exactly back out now. “I mean? Jane likes you.”

“Janine’s Janine. She’s… well, I know she’s your sister but she’s not like other women.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, she’s…” he’s flustered. “She’s amazing.”

“And other women aren’t amazing?”

“Fair point, fair point,” he raises his hands. 

Tom runs a hand through his hair. It’s thinning. When did he get old? So much of his youth was wasted. 

“Jody is beautiful and talented and so good. She’s got this… hope about her. This luck. I feel like nothing could truly go wrong when I’m beside her.”

Peter nods. “And what does she think?”

“I have no idea, but she can do a lot better than me. She’s seen me ranting and raving out of my wits, and I’m ten years older, and… just look at me, Pete. I’m mostly scar tissue.”

Peter does, up and down.

“You’re very good looking to me, Colonel,” he winks at last. Tom snorts. Maybe the bloke isn’t so bad.

“You must have had relationships before, though? Surely? The way Janine always put it you’d think you were James Bond. A different person on your arm every day of the week.”

“I mean, I did. Of course. Lots of people. Nothing serious, but… that was so long ago. Before… before my head became a mess. When I could tell truth from lie as easy as up from down. These days, I’m not even sure if you’re in front of me. If I squint, I might lose you completely.”

Peter doesn’t know what to say to that. Tom’s introspective seriousness has always made him uncomfortable. 

“Anyway, enough of all that rambling. I’m going to give her this.” He proffers a wicked-looking weapon. “For Christmas, I mean. Do you think she’ll like it?”

“An automatic crossbow?” Peter whistles. “Romantic. Right up her alley. She’ll love it.”

He nods in gratitude. “I appreciate you listening. Before you ask, Janey will love the ringbinder full of poetry you put together.”

“How did you know about that!” Peter is ashen, mortified.

“The name’s Bond, James Bond.” Tom throws the line over his shoulder as he wanders away.

***

Their Christmas is a quiet one, but perhaps more festive than anyone expected. Someone dims the base’s lights with crepe paper, and Amelia emerges from her quarters with a bottle of champagne. “Not as a gift, you understand,” she impresses firmly, “but as a service to myself. Being around you lot is making me bloody miserable. Put some smiles on, for once!”

Someone else has found a flock of wild geese and thanks to Jody’s crossbow the residents of Noah Base feast like Victorian paupers made kings. Janine taps her glass, makes a speech about times being tough and the importance of finding the things to celebrate. “I salute you all for your fortitude and bravery. This time next year, we will be with our friends and families again. It’s only a matter of time before we take our home back.” She’s got good at these at this point. They all raise a cheer, at least.

 Tom and Jody talk long into the evening about everything they can think of that isn’t the last decade. Childhood stories, mostly: Tom and his football friends accidentally crashing a wedding and causing a minor diplomatic incident; the prank war with next door that Jody and her brothers got into one summer; Tom, Janine and General Bakari’s three-way chess matches; Jody nearly burning the house down attempting to make her mum breakfast in bed. Debates over Doctor Who episodes lead into arguments over the best Quality Street chocolate until they’re the last people still awake.

“D’you believe in God?” She asks, at some point, hazy under piles of blankets in front of the heater they’ve powered for the occasion. He’s wearing the new jumper she made him (“I’m sorry it’s bottle green, it was the only wool we had enough of but it’ll bring out your eyes, I reckon”) and leafing through the pamphlet of beginners knitting patterns she’d painstakingly copied out and tucked inside it. 

He chews his lip, lost in thought, his mind straying back to Algeria even as he takes her hand in the present. “No. I used to. I was a chorister when I was a boy.”

“Seriously? One of those ones in Westminster Abbey? My mum always used to listen to them!”

“Yes! I loved it!” He laughs. “Only did the Christmas service once, though. I got bronchitis the next year, and after that my voice broke. But it was the first time I started enjoying life in England. When we stepped outside after the service, that was also the first time I saw snow. I thought it was a miracle. Janey told me not to be so ridiculous, so I put a snowball down the back of her coat.”

“I can’t get over how posh you are. Did you have to wear robes?” It’s the biggest he’s seen her smile in ages. He laughs again at the look on her face.

“Yes, I had to wear robes.”

“If there are no photos left of this, I’ll never forgive your sister.”

“What about you? Why did you ask about God?”

“I don’t know: I was just wondering. True meaning of Christmas, and all that. I used to think at the start of all this that if He did exist, he must have a pretty sick sense of humour. But I’m not sure, I don’t think it’s all that black and white anymore. Maybe He’s just tired of us.”

“Perhaps He’s on a long holiday. He’ll check in next millenia. Until then, we’ll have to figure it out for ourselves.”

She falls asleep not long after that, her head on his chest. He loves her so much his ribs ache.

Maybe there is a God, if a feeling like this can exist. If the two of them can find each other, despite everything. If he can leave so much behind, and lose so much, and still be so happy.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #364

“you wanna know what zeus said to narcissus?  /  ‘you’d better watch yourself’“

Do you change your type of music regularly? Nah. I've ben all about metal and rock since middle school. Would you want to visit Tokyo, Japan, someday? It's not actually on my bucket list or anything, but I'd do it. Do you curse like a sailor? Sailors are better than I am, aha... Do you hear trains pass by where you live? No. Ever been in a race? Haha, no. Last time you’ve eaten a taco? I hate tacos. Do you like horses? Sure do! Do you like Starburst? omg YES. What is your favourite wild animal? MEERKATS!!!!!! :') Do you like hamsters? They're very cute, but I've never met a nice one. Do you eat bananas? Yeah, I like bananas, but I'm VERY picky with how ripe it is. There's like, barely a two-day span where I'm willing to eat them. What is your favourite bookstore? I don't have one. What is your favorite fast food joint? Sonic. Do you sweat easily? Ugh, you haven't the slightest idea. As a side effect of one (or two?) of my prescriptions, I have I N S A N E hyperhidrosis. I can stand outside for a millisecond in like 70 degree weather and I'm already sweating. If you could move (and SERIOUSLY think about this) where would you move? All factors considered, being entirely realistic, the mountain-y region of western NC. Why would you go there? I want to stay in NC to at least not be a massive ways away from my family, and I loooove mountains. Plus, there's a lot of cool places on the other end of the state. Do you want to travel? Yes. I want to see so much more than this boring 'ole state. What was the last vaccination you got? For Covid. Have there ever been any forest or grass fires in your area? There have been wildfires towards the beach, I believe? Any time it happened we would always get the smoke all the way where we live. Are you Italian? Not to my knowledge. Do you own an acoustic guitar? No. What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? My physical health. When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? Recently. Can you roll your own cigarettes? I've never smoked, so. Are you mentally strong? I think so. I hope so. Are you physically strong? I am like, comically weak. Are you heartbroken right now? No. Do you ever get complimented on your eyes? What color are they? It's happened, but it's definitely not a regular thing or whatever. They're grayish blue. What facial feature do you like the best on a person? I'd say I'm most attracted to pretty eyes. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever held? I helped hold a massive snake as a kid (I don't remember what it was), and I've also held a rose hair tarantula. I can't think of any truly strange animals by my opinion, really. Do you get extremely hyper when under the influence of sugar? No. Sugar seems to have zero effect on me, probably because I'm over-exposed to it thanks to soda... What about caffeine? Not at all, likely for the aforementioned reason. Have you ever tried any drugs? If so, did you regret it? Besides alcohol, no. I don't regret having drank as it was never a lot. Do you have any pregnant friends? A high school acquaintance is pregnant. I THINK she's the only one now? I swear I see a new pregnancy announcement on Facebook like every two days, and mind you I don't even have all that many "friends." That being said, I may definitely be forgetting someone. When ordering food, what do you usually get as a drink? Depending on whether they have Pepsi or Coke products, either Mountain Dew or Coke. When drawing something, do you try to be super precise or do you not care? I am so, so, SO obsessive over getting everything right, but things never come out as good as I want them to/imagine them. Have you actually read Twilight? I haven't. What about Harry Potter? Never read any of those, either. I started one in elementary school, but didn't get very far at all. Out of the two, which is better? I have like no interest in either, so. How often do you read books? It various. I go through like reading episodes, and then I don't read for months. Are you the jealous type? I'm not like, an insanely jealous person, but it's still the worst it's ever been at this point in my life. I hate it. Are you the type of person who gets jealous of people’s pasts? Nah, no reason to. Do you know anyone who faints at the sight of blood? Not blood, I think, but needles and drawing blood, yes. I know my dad's fainted at least once at the doctor, and Jason fainted when I was getting blood drawn at the ER. What colors are the eyes of your family members? Just about everyone has brown eyes but me, I think my maternal grandpa, and my brother. Are you related to anyone with red hair? Not to my knowledge. Were you a chubby baby? No, I was pretty average. What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? Social situations with strangers especially. Asking for things. Public speaking/presenting. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? God, I remember there was this one night in particular where I stayed up SO late, but I don't remember the exact time. I think I actually cried because I was so stressed and tired. How many vegetarians do you know? In my personal life, I don't believe I know any, but I could be wrong. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? I never did, even though I was always tired. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Favorite episode of Spongebob? The pizza one, probably. Or the Hash Slinging Slasher episode. What bug frightens you most? Wasps, probably. Are your parents supportive of you? Yes. <3 How often do you take the train to go places? I've never been on a train. Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? No. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Hm... I honestly don't remember. What’s something that used to really stress you out, but doesn’t anymore? Thunderstorms. Have you ever had famous neighbors? No. Pick your three favourite vegetables. Broccoli, green beans, and uh... I'm blanking... Habitually I wanna say "corn," but I know it's not technically a veggie, but starch. Have you ever broken a movie or game disc? I think I have? What is your favourite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. Can you rap freestyle? Or at least sing raps from songs? Ha, no. Have you ever shared a house with a significant other? Yeah. Do you scream at scary parts in a horror flick? No. I might jump a bit, but not always. What do you spend most of your time doing? Watching YouTube. Do you really care what’s going on in celebrities' lives? More like the YouTubers I watch. Have you ever broken a plate/bowl? Accidentally by dropping them. When was the last time you felt like you didn’t have a care in the world? I couldn't begin to guess. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Can you do a backwards london bridges? God no, I'd bust my back. What smiley do you use the most on the computer? (: maybe. Or :') Are any of your pets “overweight”? No, but why is "overweight" in quotations as if overweight pets aren't a real and serious issue? Has anyone ever bought you a ring? Yeah. On a scale 1-10, how funny are you? I honestly don't think I'm funny at all, so I'd put myself at a 1. Pretty recently though it was very surprising and flattering to have my dad and older sister point out that I'm "hilarious" with my wry sense of humor. I don't see it, but I mean, it was surely appreciated. What’s a song that is overplayed but you still like it anyway? I barely ever listen to the radio, yet I still know "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen is played a lot, but I could never get tired of it. Are you excited for Christmas? Christmastime is my favorite time of year nowadays, mainly because of how excited my niece and nephew always are, and we spend most of Christmas Day and usually Christmas Eve with them. I love the weather, the focus on togetherness, all that. What are you thankful for? Man, a lot. I try my best to never overlook all the truly amazing things I do have, like a loving and supportive family, a home, food and safe water, Internet haha, access to medical care (regardless of the complaints I have about American healthcare)... I've got a lot of bad going on in my life, but I've also got a great amount of good things, too. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on? Internet. What’s your favorite color combination? Maaan, don't do this. I really don't know. Probably two pastels, idk. Do you have any internet friends? I have more Internet friends than I do "real life" ones. What was the last song you listened to? "Deep Six" by Marilyn Manson earlier. How are you feeling right now? My arm is really sore from my second Covid shot, and I'm also having trouble breathing thanks to the dog (apparently, I'm allergic to whatever she is). I know it sounds bad, but I cannot wait 'til she's gone (from this house, no we're of course not euthanizing her). What color is the shirt you’re wearing? Burgundy. Do you play video games? Yeah, just not as much as I used to. Have you ever been to a club and had someone slip something into your drink? I've never been to a club period, and I don't plan on it. Do you know anyone who’s done ecstasy? Not to my knowledge, anyway. Are you on birth control? Yes, but only to regulate and soothe my menstrual cycle. My cramps were insufferable prior. Does your sibling have a significant other? All but my younger sister. Like she's in contact with who she calls "contenders," haha, but she isn't officially dating anyone. She's MEGA picky with who she dates. Have you ever cried at a real wedding? Yes, because it was very triggering to my PTSD. Any idea what you want for your next birthday? That's quiiite a whiles away, so I have plenty of time to think about that. I don't know if I'll be employed by then and thus able to buy some things myself, but I'll just say I won't be (because I'm I think rationally fearful that's where I'll still be). For Christmas I plan on just asking for a new terrarium for Venus plus better materials for it (like a proper temp gauge and hygrometer, etc.), and with that taken care of, then I might be interested in asking for a hognose for my bday, but idk. I'd want to ensure (s)he starts out with a perfect terrarium, and seeing as I want a hoggie morph, that's a lot of money in one go that idk if I'd be comfortable asking. So I'unno, maybe I'll go for a tattoo again. Wow, this was a lot of rambling for something so far off, pardon me haha. Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? My Nintendo DS Lite, actually. I can't find the darn charger for it, and I really need to so I can bring it to Ashley's again for the kids to play the Pokemon game I have that they love. Aubree especially is really into it, and she adores Pikachu and Eevee. :') Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I don't even know what most award shows are for, if I'm being honest. I'm not really interested. What colour is your keyboard? Black, but each key glows red. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No. Are you a fan of acrylic nails? Not for myself; I think they'd drive me insane. I do, however, think they look nice on others.

[idjitmonkey]

Promise Me

Summary: It’s Christmastime in 1942 and your sweetheart Bucky is talking of making promises you’re afraid he can’t keep. 

Word Count: 3,500

Warnings: Angst. Like, a bunch. Major Character Death. 1940′s Bucky. Yes, that’s a warning itself because we’ve all seen that lopsided grin of his with him in uniform. 

A/N: oooooh boy. This is my first fic in a long time and I’m excited and nervous since it’s also the first time writing for Bucky. Please be kind. Gif not mine. I own nothing except my brain that thinks up these awful things.

Tagging: @xetoilerouge​ @sugarfreecapsicle​ @captain-kelli​ @crispychrissy​ @rachel-ruby-rose​ @bolontiku​ @marquiswrites​

December 1942

      The smooth scratch of metal blades digging into the ice filled the silence that stretched between you and the young man who held your hand, his steady presence and warm grip keeping you from falling face first onto the rink. All around, other couples and friends did the same, everyone making laps on the skating rink, passing by the modest trio of trees, each one decorated in the colors of the flag, wooden stars and glass baubles in bright red, white, and blue. Despite the crowd that had turned out for an evening of fun, the mood held a more somber tone. Ever since President Roosevelt asked Congress for it’s Declaration of War last year, brave young men had been signing up left and right to head overseas in directions to both Europe and the Pacific. People were worried about their husbands, their sons, their brothers going off to fight and not making it back home. 

      That included the young man who was holding you close as the pair of you glided along at a more sedate pace than everyone else around you. Your Bucky. His right hand at your mid back was warm, even through the thick layer of your coat, his left clasped tight around yours as he provided the gentle pressure that led you both forward in the slow loop around and around Rockefeller Center’s ice rink. 

      “So, what do you want for Christmas this year, sweetheart?” His voice was honey thick at your temple, the mist of his own breath fanning out in front of you before dissipating into the evening air. It made you smile even as a shiver wormed its way down your spine to warm you up even more than his nearness. 

      “You don’t have to get me anything, Bucky.” After a moment of thought, the protest left your lips as a way to hopefully drop the subject. There was only one thing you wanted, and you were pretty sure Santa couldn’t deliver it. 

      “Uh, uh, uh.” He tutted in response. “There’s gotta be somethin’ you want, doll-face.” Extra pressure at your back prompted you to look into those steel blue eyes of which you were so fond. 

      “I dunno, I’m not really sure. There’s some really nice new handkerchiefs at Macy’s…” You floundered, tone unconvincing even to your own ears. The corner of your mouth twisted at how you sounded and you knew the jig was up when Bucky held your hand tighter and led you both off to one side, out of the way of the crowd still circling the ice. Leaning against the railing, those blue eyes focused only on you, taking both of your chilled hands between his, rubbing life back into them before he spoke. 

      “Come on, that’s the kinda present I’d give my Ma or Rebecca.” His expression was one of skepticism, but it morphed into that cheeky, lopsided smile as he reached to tip you chip up, keeping your gaze steady.

       “Y/n. I know you don’t want me to make a big deal outta this, but I want this Christmas to be special for you. For us.” 

      The reasoning of why he wanted it to be special wasn’t lost on either of you. Your eyes drifted down to the three bars that had recently been added to his dress jacket. James Buchanan Barnes had made the rank of Sergeant. He had more responsibility now in his unit. You also knew that more and more divisions were being sent out to Europe. 

      “Don’t say it like that. Not like that.” You weren’t sure if you were pleading with him or angry at him when you bit the words out. “Like it’s going to be the-” 

      “-Like it’s going to be our last one together?” He interrupted what was sure to be a tirade if he let you pick up any verbal steam.  “Doll, that’s not what I meant by that at all.” One side of his mouth turned up in that half smile that you could never stay upset at. You found yourself tilting your head, eyebrows lifting in an expectant expression: Please explain yourself. 

      The cloud of breath he expelled in a chuckle drifted up between you as Bucky shook his head a little, rubbing your hands between his again, only to reach up and brush his thumb across the apple of your cheek, cool to the touch from the time spent outside. When he spoke again, it was quiet, meant only for you to hear as his forehead came to touch yours.

      “I want this Christmas to be special because I want it to be the first of many we spend together.” 

      The sounds of the other skaters faded to nothing more than white noise when your brain finally caught up to your ears. Was he saying what you thought he was- proposing? 

      “Bucky, I-” Your train of thought was derailed when a pair of kids raced by you and your sergeant, nearly knocking into him in their haste. They called back apologies which you ignored. The moment, however, was broken, and Bucky gathered you close. 

      “Come on, I think we’re better off talking some place we won’t get knocked down.” His grip shifted to your elbow to guide the both of you off the ice and to a bench so that you could change out of your skates. Not a word was spoken as he slipped his hand into yours, walking away from the crowd and up the stairs to the gardens that overlooked Rockefeller Plaza. 

      As you walked, snow had begun to fall. Soft, fat flakes that floated down in silence to catch in your hair and on your coats. It joined the layer of white already coating every available surface, muting the sounds of the city traffic surrounding the buildings that loomed above, imposing structures of steel and brick that were feats of architectural brilliance. But the gentle quiet that had settled around you and Bucky couldn’t calm the racing thoughts in your head, nor the tripping rhythm your heart had picked up as he led you along to a bench, brushing the snow off before folding himself down onto the seat, a soft tug of your hand an invitation to join him. 

      “Bucky, were you trying to say back there what I think you were trying to say? Because as much as I care for you, I don’t think that I could be like the other girls in the office. Getting married before you get shipped out, only to wait to hear if you’re going to return to me or leave me a-” The words wouldn’t keep coming, your throat closing on them like a door being shut against the cold. 

      “No, no! God, sweetheart, that’s not what I meant at all.” Reaching out, his fingers wrapped around yours. “I wouldn’t ask that of you.I wouldn’t dare ask you to wait for me like that.” The shake of his head caused a lock of hair to fall across his forehead. “Plus I’m sure that both your Ma and my sister would kill us if we eloped in some afternoon courthouse ceremony where we’d just be a number in a line of people doing the exact same thing.” 

      “They’d never let us hear the end of it.” Your chuckle was thick, the emotions still  at the surface, lacing your words like the snow dusting the ground. “Steve would probably be upset he wasn’t invited too.” You added, tucking your hands into the pockets of your coat to retrieve your mittens, no longer able to take the biting evening air. 

      “Who do you think I’d ask to be a witness?” Bucky quipped. Those eyes you loved so much twinkled with amusement.

      But the words he said gave you pause. He’d actually thought about it? You turned wide eyes back to him as you tugged the second mitten up onto your wrist, the question clear in your gaze. 

      “Yeah.. Yeah I’ve thought about it, Doll-face.” 

      “But-” Bucky could tell what you were thinking so often that is answers like that never surprised you anymore. “You-” 

      “I what? I said that I wouldn’t make you wait for me, and I meant that, Y/n. I’m not going to marry you then leave you for however long it takes for this war to end. There are going to be far too many young widows who will never get to have a life with the man they call their husband after a trip to the county clerk’s office, Doll. I would never ask that kinda sacrifice from you.” 

        His words did something to your heart and your head. There was so much truth in what Bucky was saying, that it made you forget about the surprise and nervousness when you realized he’d thought about asking you to marry him. For a moment anyway. In an attempt to distract yourself, you brought your covered hands up and rubbed them together as you took in your surroundings, the people leaving the ice rink, some carrying their skates over their shoulders.Some people carrying packages from shopping. How many of the men you saw walking by would be gone overseas this time next year? And how many of them would not make it home to their loved ones?  You didn’t want to consider what it would be like if the man sitting next to you didn’t make it home. It made your chest ache as if a weight had been pressed there, making the breath you pulled into your lungs burn in the most awful way. 

      “I think we’d best be getting back to Brooklyn.” Your tone made Bucky frown and he reached out, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, urging you to look at him. 

      “I didn’t mean to upset you sweetheart. I’m sorry. But I meant it when I said I wanted this Christmas to be the first of a lot of holidays together for the two of us.” His thumb brushed your cheek, the ache in your chest easing off just enough to sigh. Before you could say anything else though, Bucky had scooted closer, invading your space to press a kiss to your forehead. It made you smile. 

     “You’re shivering, Y/n. Let’s go get some coffee or somethin’ before I take you home.” Knowing that it would only upset you further to keep discussing it, Bucky decided to take you back home. Helping you to your feet, he slid one arm around your shoulders to try and warm you up as the snow continued to fall around you. 

      “But you still didn’t tell me what you want for Christmas.” 

Christmas Day 1942 

      The sound of someone knocking at the door had you setting down your cup of coffee. When you opened it, Bucky stood on the other side, brushing snow off of his coat and out of his hair. His smile was bright enough to light up all of the Empire State Building, and it was contagious. 

      “Merry Christmas Doll!” He had a couple of small packages under one arm, readjusting his grip on them as you stepped back to allow him into your small but warm apartment. He looked around as you shut the door, then pivoted to face you. 

      “Where’s you mom? I’ve got a present for her too.” 

      “She’s down the hall with Mrs. O’Connell, helping them get their dinner ready. Mrs. O’Connell slipped on the ice coming home from midnight mass and sprained her ankle.” 

      “Oh…” He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “That’s nice of her.” Then he was stepping into your space, the fingers of his free hand curling around your waist the same time that his lips slanted over yours in a sweet and slightly prolonged kiss. When you broke the kiss, you tried your best to look reprimanding. The fact that your heart was beating wildly inside your chest made your expression a little more dreamy and a lot less stern. Your grip on his shoulders shifted, fingers toying with the short locks of dark hair at the nape of his neck not hidden by his collar. 

      “Bucky! My mom could walk through that door any minute!” You didn’t even sound convincing to yourself.

      “What?” There was that cheeky half smile you loved so much again. “I thought I saw mistletoe hanging above the door. Isn’t that the tradition? Kissing the person next to you when one of you steps under the mistletoe?” 

      You huffed and smacked his shoulder in a playful manner, then stepped out of his reach, crossing the living space to pull another cup and saucer down from a kitchen cabinet. “You are positively incorrigible, James Barnes. What am I going to do with you?” Holding up the cup in a silent question, he shook his head and finally moved to set the packages under his arm on the table. 

      “I can’t stay too long, Steve’s sick again but insisted that I bring your gifts over before you and your mom went to church tonight.” 

      “Oh. I hope he’s not too bad again. You could have waited until tomorrow to bring those by, Bucky if Steve needs you to look after him.” Steve didn’t really have anyone else but Bucky in this world, and you by association. 

      “No, he kept saying that if I didn’t bring them over he was going to get out of bed and bring them himself. And since the punk can’t even get up without falling face first into the rug, I gave into his demands.” Bucky laid a hand on the rectangular package that was fairly thin. “This is from him to you. And the other box is something that I thought your mom might enjoy.” 

      “But before you open Steve’s gift, I want you to open mine first.” From the inside pocket of his coat, Bucky removed a small square box wrapped in a blue ribbon tied into a messy bow. It made you chuckle when you saw it. 

      “Yeah, I know I’m not one for wrappin’ boxes up to make them pretty. I’m better at making a bed look up to regulation.” He joked, holding it out to deposit in your palm. 

      Pulling at one end of the ribbon, it unwound and you let it fall to the kitchen table while you lifted the lid. A gasp left you when you saw the ring. The band was simple, and the stone was a deep green, cut into a trillian style. On either side, four small diamonds flanked the emerald in a four leaf clover setting. Tilting it one way, the light caught inside the stone and sparkled beautifully. You put one hand up to your mouth, shaking your head. 

      “You didn’t- there’s- Bucky it’s so…” A dozen different thoughts ran through your head. How could he have afforded this? It was beautiful, but you couldn’t accept it and you told him as much. 

      “Y/n, sweetheart, it’s not what you think. And I didn’t have to pay a dime for the ring.” Reaching into the box, he lifted out a thin chain that you hadn’t noticed at first, the ring looped into it. “It’s a promise ring. It was. It belonged to my Ma. One of the few nice things she ever had in this world and Becca has kept it for a while now. But she knows just how much you mean to me. And I want you to know that I promise I’m gonna come back to you. This ring is a physical token of the promise that once this war is over, I’m gonna come back and do things right with you, Y/n.”  As he talked, Bucky undid the clasp, standing up and stepping behind you. You swept your hair aside so that he could fix it around your neck. It was perfect. 

      “I don’t know what to say. I want to tell you that I can’t accept this because it belonged to your mom, Bucky. But if Rebecca let you have it, I know better than to argue with her.” Your fingertips rubbed over the stone gently. 

      “I love it.” Getting to your feet, you threw your arms around him, not caring if your mother might actually walk in to see you being so affectionate with James. 

      “But you’d better keep your promise, Sergeant.” You mumbled into the lapel of his coat while he held you close and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

      “I will, Y/n. I will come back to you.” 

January 1945 

      You sighed as you wiped your forehead with the back of one hand, loose strands of hair falling back into your face as you scrubbed at the pot in the sink before rinsing it clean and setting it aside to drip dry. Another week gone by without a letter. The sporadic contact that had come from both Bucky and Steve was wearing down both your morale and your heart even though you knew you were lucky to hear anything at all from anyone. Sporadic letters were better than the telegrams or official letters delivered by a priest in a military uniform. Your neighborhood had seen too many of both of those over the last three years and everyone prayed for this war to end. 

      Reaching for the coffee pot, you began to fill it with water. As it did, your mind wandered back to your sergeant. You hoped that he was okay. That he and his regiment of misfits that he’d written you about, along with Steve were okay. So consumed by your thoughts, you missed that the pot was now overflowing. Cursing to yourself, you reached out to shut off the tap. As you leaned forward to empty out some of the water, there was a metallic clatter, the feeling of something falling over your blouse. Bucky’s promise ring rattled in the sink and you tried to grab it...only to miss as if fell into the drain. 

      “Oh no. No no no!” The pot was set aside as you felt the chain around your neck. It had broken. And your promise ring was gone. “Oh no. No please!” 

      Kneeling down, you pushed aside the curtain that hid the plumbing from view. A feeling of panic bubbled up, expressing itself in a sob as you twisted fruitlessly at the pipe under the sink. It couldn’t be gone. What would Bucky say?? Would he be upset that you’ve lost his mother’s ring? Of course he would! Your fingers hurt from trying to loosen the U-shaped pipe, then you gave it a few smacks with the heel of your hand, thinking that might knock it loose enough to do some good. You had to get it back. Maybe the landlord downstairs had some tools that he could use to retrieve it. Letting go of the pipe, you swiped at the tears now slipping down your cheeks in an attempt to calm yourself.  You would go downstairs, beg Mr. Gordon to come up and get the ring out of the sink and it would be okay. Bucky wouldn’t even have to know what happened when he came back.

      Just as you pushed yourself to your feet, the telephone receiver rang on the table down the hall. “Oh not now.” But your answered it anyway, worried it could be your mother. 

      “Hello?” Any other time, the voice on the other end of the phone would be a welcome distraction. You loved hearing from Bucky’s sister, but right now she was the last person you wanted to talk to, and you really didn’t want to explain why.

       “Rebecca! Oh, I’m sorry to ask this of you, but I can’t talk right now, I’ve got to get the landlord for a problem with the sink, could I please call you back? It’s a last minute problem, but it’s really important.” The words rushed out as you tugged the now useless chain off your neck and tucked it into the pocket of your blouse. You hoped she’d say yes because if you continued to talk, you would definitely tell her what had just happened and that was the last thing you wanted.  From the other end of the line, however, Bucky’s sister started speaking quickly. Your fingertips that were anxiously toying with the cord stopped moving, nails digging into the thick black rubber coil.

      “I’m s-sorry I-” You hadn’t heard her correctly through her own sniffling and tears. “What’s… What’s wrong? Is-” 

      “It’s Bucky, Y/n. He’s gone. He didn’t make it, Y/n.” 

      The world shifted and swayed as something inside your chest cracked, the pieces of your heart splintering into shards as your worst nightmare was now made into your reality. The receiver dropped from your hand, clattering on the hall table as you tried to steady yourself by grabbing the wall. 

Some time later, your mother found you on your knees crying, the phone still off the hook, your Bucky’s ring still out of reach.

[kthstrawberryshortcake]

Snowflakes or Sugarplum Fairy

pairing: jin x reader

genre: fluffy Christmas fluff

warnings: none. perhaps verging on cheesiness and that’s it.

word count: 2k-ish

This is just a little cute festive fluff starring my love Kim Seokjin. :) I hope you all enjoy it!

Also, RIP Jjangu :’( I wanted to include a dog as part of the plot so it felt fitting to make it him.

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At first it seemed like an ordinary Saturday afternoon near Christmastime. The winter cold had everyone bundled up, trudging through a light layer of snow as they made their way down the streets. Y/N walked toward her favorite coffee shop, looking forward to her habitual quiet reading and soaking in the ambience of the shop. She eventually reached her destination, the warmth enveloping her as she stepped inside. She lightly tapped the snow off her boots on the door mat before getting in line. She aimlessly looked around the shop as she waited before noticing a man a few people ahead of her in line. 

He was facing away from her, towards the counter. He was tall with black hair and very broad shoulders. He was the kind of person who would attract anyone’s eye. He briefly turned his head to look at something and Y/N caught a glimpse of his profile. First of all, he was almost criminally gorgeous. But there was something else. She had a strong feeling that she knew him from somewhere. He looked so familiar. Then it hit her. Was it possible that she was staring at…. Kim Seokjin?! 

He had been her best friend for most of her childhood, up until halfway through high school when he moved away. The last time they had seen one another, he was still a scrawny kid, looking more like a gawky boy than a man. Y/N thought about it, supposing he could’ve been a late bloomer and just have majorly lucked out when it came to the result of puberty. After all, it had been almost ten years now, she had no clue what he looked like anymore. Y/N was pulled out of her daze when she had reached the front of the line, her turn at the counter having come. There the man was, standing next to her and tapping her lightly on the shoulder to get her attention. 

“I hope you don’t find me too forward, but I took the liberty of getting a drink for you. I wanted to be sure I didn’t miss out on a chance to talk to you.” He said with a charming smile. Y/N stared up at him. “….Jin?” she asked tentatively, her eyes wide and her voice unsure. A puzzled expression crossed his face and he blinked at her in confusion. “I’m not sure what you mean…. We’ve never met before, but I saw you and couldn’t help but want to speak to you.” The man said, causing Y/N confusion. So this WASN’T Kim Seokjin after all? How odd. Well, regardless of if he was her long lost friend or not, he was a very handsome and friendly guy, so Y/N decided to talk to him. 

He held out a coffee cup to Y/N, and she took it, offering a smile in return. “What is it?” She inquired, smelling the hot steam wafting out of the cup to try to identify the cup’s contents. “Earl grey. You looked like a tea kind of girl.” The man answered, a bit of a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Y/N grinned. “Excellent guess.” She replied. The man glanced out the window, thinking for a moment before asking, “Would you like to take our drinks and go for a walk with me? The snow is so lovely.” Y/N nodded at the suggestion, agreeing with the sentiment completely. “Yes, I love the snow. Winter is my favorite.” The two exited the shop, walking side by side down the sidewalk, eventually reaching a large park, where the trees were adorned with snow and ice, making the scene almost unreal. 

Y/N took in the scene around her with a sense of wonder. “It makes me think of The Nutcracker, it has that kind of magic about it…” She said quietly, almost to herself, but her companion smiled at her comment. “So is it the snowflakes or the sugar plum fairy?” he asked, and her gaze snapped to meet his in surprise. “You know it,” Y/N said, more as a statement than as a question, but the man nodded. “As a child I had a friend who made me go see The Nutcracker every year.” He replied, and Y/N’s mind flew back to when she and Seokjin had made the tradition of always seeing the ballet together each winter. “What a strange coincidence…. I used to go as well, with someone special to me.” She murmured, feeling a small pang of sadness at the lost joy of her childhood friendship. 

Nothing had been the same after he had left. The rest of high school was boring without him, and it wasn’t until her final year of university that she could bring herself to see The Nutcracker again, it seeming too sad to go without her old partner in crime. The man studied her face. “Are you alright?” He inquired before she nodded in response. “Memories are a dangerous thing, you know? You can hold onto the warmth and the joy of the past, but the feelings it brings evaporate so quickly. On the other hand, things you haven’t considered in years can suddenly grip your heart and pull you down.” Y/N said as they strolled slowly through the park. He stared at her for a moment before looking straight ahead again. “Yeah. I know a little something about dangerously longing for the past.” His expression was distant and a little pained for a moment, before he sighed, shaking his head as his features returned to neutral. 

“The person you saw The Nutcracker with…They’re not around anymore?” He inquired casually. Y/N shook her head. “No. It was my best friend. I’m not sure if he even cared anything about seeing the show, to be honest, but he was probably the kindest person I’ve ever met. He was really caring and he knew how much I loved it, so we always went, every year without fail.” She smiled to herself at the memory. “I always had a bit of a crush on him actually, in middle school and high school. Well, the part he was there for. He was this gawky kid but he was my favorite person on Earth.” He was smiling a little now, too, watching their feet make footprints in the snow as they walked. 

“What were you like at that age?” He asked curiously, and she gave a little laugh. “Very shy. I didn’t have very many friends, but the few I had were good ones. I loved animals, still do, so I volunteered at the animal shelter here and there. I had more interest in books and music than in socializing. My best friend and I…we used to have movie night every single Friday, and that was the highlight of my week. At least, through the end of sophomore year. The last two years of high school were different. I spent a lot more time alone at that point. Once you’ve had an awesome friend, someone who really gets you and you feel close to, it’s hard to settle for the kind of mediocre friend who doesn’t understand you or is always letting you down.” She explained, looking over at him to see him frowning, still looking down. 

Just then, a small dog came bounding through the snow across the park, letting out an excited bark as it approached. Its tail was wagging wildly and its white fur made it blend in with the snow. Y/N crouched down and held her hand out to the dog, and it pressed the side of its head into her hand for petting. “Jjangu, what are you doing out here?!” She asked the dog, almost as if she expected, a reply. 

The dog moved over to her companion, jumping up on his legs before he crouched down as well, scratching behind its ears. “It’s funny…My friend I spoke about, this is his grandmother’s dog. He’s usually kind of standoffish with new people, but I guess he really likes you,” she said, confused by Jjangu’s very out-of-character friendliness. The man shrugged. “I’m a dog person, maybe he can just tell.” Y/N nodded, accepting that explanation. “I’m assuming you know where he lives? Should we take him home?” He suggested. “Good plan. It’s just down this road.” Y/N pointed to the street she was referring to. 

The three followed the snow-covered sidewalk out of the park and down the road in comfortable silence. “I can’t believe I’m just realizing this, but I never got your name,” Y/N said in surprise just as they approached the house. Her new friend opened his mouth to answer but before he could, the front door opened and Jjangu ran to his owner, a cute little old lady with a wide grin on her face. “My little Seokjinnie, I’m so happy to see you!” She exclaimed, causing Y/N’s eyes to widen drastically in shock. “Seokjin?!” Y/N replied incredulously, almost squeaking it out in surprise. Seokjin smiled a little guiltily, now blushing slightly. “Surprise, Peanut,” he said, using his old nickname for her. 

“Come in, kids, you’ll freeze to death!” Seokjin’s grandma Mrs. Kim said as she ushered them inside, closing the door behind them. Mere minutes later Seokjin and Y/N were sitting in the living room to talk, while Mrs. Kim made hot chocolate in the kitchen. Y/N was still staring at him in total shock, breathless and way caught off-guard. “I…. you…. you said we hadn’t met before!” she exclaimed, and Seokjin���s cheeks turned even redder. “I wanted to talk to you without the context of having a history. I didn’t want to insert myself back in your life if you only liked me because we knew each other as kids. I guess me moving away really made high school tough on you, huh?” He sighed, and Y/N blushed, avoiding eye contact. 

“Well, yeah. I really missed you. Plus, like I said, having a close friendship to compare it to made most other shallow friendships seem pointless and disappointing.” She admitted, watching Jjangu sleep by the fire. He smiled slightly. “I missed you too, you know. You don’t just forget your best friend because you moved away.” He said, and she looked up at him. “So you had a crush on me, huh?” He asked, causing her eyes to widen and her cheeks turn red. “I, um, uh… when we were kids…” She mumbled, avoiding eye contact. 

He took her hands, causing her to look up at him in surprise. “I had the huuuugest crush on you too, you know.” He admitted, smiling at her. “I was the most awkward kid, though, so how do you as a gawky teenage boy tell your cute best friend you like her? I could never gather the courage.” He said with a little shrug. She laughed and leaned over to hug him. He hugged her back. They stayed like that for a bit, and it felt like coming home. They let go of each other after a moment, both wearing the biggest smiles that they’d had in recent history. 

“You know, there’s a performance of the Nutcracker tomorrow afternoon…” He said hopefully. “Let’s go.” Y/N replied immediately, hardly able to believe that this was happening after so many years. Seokjin was looking at her intently before he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She blinked in surprise, temporarily shocked, but then she leaned back in and kissed him again. “I guess we have to make up for lost time…” She said quietly, to which he just nodded. 

“Oh, goodness, you know, I predicted this years ago!” Mrs. Kim laughed as she entered the room, clearly reading the romantic atmosphere. She handed them each a mug of hot chocolate. Seokjin smiled to himself as he sipped on his drink. “Fourteen year old me would be losing his mind right now.” He laughed, almost making Y/N spit her hot chocolate across the room at him saying that in front of his grandmother. “Jinnie, you big dork.” She muttered as Mrs. Kim looked on in amusement. Y/N had found her Nutcracker Prince, she thought to herself, and more importantly, her best friend was back, and she wasn’t letting him go ever again.

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Uwu y’all I love this a little too much, it gives me the warm fuzzies. <3 

Please give me feedback, I LOVE it! 

Also, if you have a request for a scenario or a reaction PLEASE send it via ask or message. :)

[spookysanta]

daddy’s girl. (e.d.)

Summary: he's been watching her and she knows it. He's yearning for her, and he’ll have her, but she has to finish high school first. 

Pairing: Ethan Dolan xReader

WARNINGS: age gap (38 vs 18), creep shit

SAY NOTHING IM WRITING A NEW SERIES JUST READ IT AND TELL ME IF IT SUCKS 

DISCLAIMER! PLEASE READ: in this, the girl (cairo) is of LEGAL age. he (ethan) refers to her as a child bc yanno.... he's almost 40 here. this isn't on any pedophile stuff, okay? just for clarification. AND as i was writing this i got jake gyllenhaal vibes from this, but then i figured ethan could be the “sexy dad” in the future (so to speak)—which is what i was kinda going for; like a man that’s older but is so irresistibly gorgeous, even young girls swoon over him.

UNEDITED

****

******

She'd caught his eye. 

And he doesn't know how it came to be this way; he thought he was done messing around like this ages ago. But here he was, a thirty-eight-year-old man, watching an eighteen-year-old girl cheer at his neice's high school's football game. 

She sees him though; as if he's staring into her soul. As she finishes her tumbling routine in the halftime show, her eyes dart in his direction and his never leave her. She shivers slightly--

Who is that man? she wondered, walking away from the field to distract herself. 

**

She stands at the cash register, swiping his items across the scanner. "Did you find everything okay?" she asked in a monotone voice, looking at the clock on the register's screen. 

"Yes, I did. Thank you." the man responded, fishing in his wallet for cash as he already knew how much two bottles of red wine cost. "Do you need to see ID?"

"Yes, I--" she paused, looking at the man for the first time during their interaction. This was the man from the football game! She couldn't have forgotten those pearly eyes that bore into hers, and definitely didn't forget the way he ironically made her feel when their eyes locked. "I-I do."

"You okay?" he asked with a chuckle as he handed her his driver's license. He knew exactly who she was, and after a bit of research, he knows that she's what he wants. And, likewise, he knew that she remembered him. That in itself was exciting because now he knew where she was from 9-2 every Saturday--which meant he'd be seeing her a lot more. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She glanced at the line forming behind him and shook her head at the idea of her confrontation. She took the card and read the birthdate carefully. "1980." she muttered, handing it back to him. "Your total's $18.20."

He handed her a $20, grabbing the bottles of wine by their necks and smirking. "Keep the change."

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome, Cairo. See you around."

**

She lay in her bed, wondering why this man clouded her thoughts. What was it about him that made him so intriguing? Yes, he was attractive, but he was more than twice her age--shouldn't that mean that he was repulsive to her? Should she shy away from this man and his beauty?

Ethan.

If there's anything she knew about men, it's that older men (well, boys, in her case) don't usually have the girl's best interest in mind. But no matter how many cons appear on this list, the only pro she seems to think of is the fact that he looked at her like he knew her already. His hazel eyes were almost magnetizing her brown ones to his gaze, and the energy was too strong to pull it away.

**

He's come to the realization that he's hooked on her.

He wants her, no--needs her. 

And he knows how crazy that sounds with all of the odds stacked against him (namely, her being a child by his comparison) but he'll admit they'd look absolutely perfect together. 

And there's nothing he won't do until they're in love.

**

day one.

She walked home from school every day. Three-fifteen on the dot, Monday through Friday. Sometimes, she takes the after-school bus after her cheer practices, and that drops her off on the same corner but at five-thirty. He sees her walk down Linden Avenue, then make a left on Conch Street, and then go into the tiny brick house at the end of the lively culdesac. Sometimes he sees her through her window at night, laying in her bed soundly. It takes everything in him each night to not climb up the big pine tree to the second floor, open the already unlocked window—she doesn't lock it anymore because the lock can get finicky at times and it can get quite hot in San Bernadino in May—and breathe in the same air as her.

Just once.

Just once, he wants to be there for her—hold her, kiss her, smell her, taste her.

Is that too much to ask?

Just one more month, he reminds himself as he perches himself on his porch chair, watching her walk into her home with her friend, Janelle.

He does not like Janelle.

Janelle has a tendency to be a bit manipulative when it comes to Cairo; she wants the best for her, of course. But she's always making Cairo go to parties that she doesn't want to go to, or do things that Cairo doesn't typically do.

Cairo's a good girl who doesn't need to be bombarded with social...ick.

"She's a good girl," he mumbled, palms set on his knees with white fingertips. "My good girl."

***

She continued her walk to the store like she usually does on Sunday mornings in the spring. Yes, she does work at the store, but why not stop by and visit her favorite co-workers while she picked up her favorite ice cream?

"Good morning, Edith!" she greeted to the elderly woman stood behind the customer service desk. She resembled Jane Goodall in a way; caring, generous, kind. "How are you today?"

"Hey, sweetie! I'm alright, hope you're doing well. Say 'hi' to Katherine for me!" she replied with a wave, going into the employee's lounge.

"Will do!" she wandered to the frozen food section, her coffee brown eyes set on the cookie dough ice cream in the freezer. With happy alarms blaring in her head, she grabbed a pint from the shelf, going immediately to the checkout line to pay for her dessert. "Hey Ricky." she said to the cashier.

"Hey, Cai." he responded, ringing up her ice cream and setting it on the counter. "$4.68. Got your employee ID on you?"

She fished through her wallet and came up emptyhanded. "Shoot. I must've left it at home." she sighed. "It's cool, I'll pay full price."

"Nah, I got you." he took a card out of his front pocket, swiped it, and put in his pin. "There ya go. $2.27."

"Thanks, Ky. I owe you one." She handed him a five dollar bill, keeping the cash fold of her wallet open so she could put her change in it.

"You know what you could do for me so we're even?" he opened the cash drawer, taking out her change and handing it to her.

"What?"

"Go to dinner with me." he wrote on her freshly printed receipt. "It doesn't have to be fancy, but if you're interested, you should hit me up sometime."

"Sure. I'd love to." she smiled, putting the receipt with her change and grabbing her ice cream off the counter. "We'll talk tonight?"

"Totally. See you around."

"See you!"

**

She entered the house again and put her ice cream in the fridge. "Ma!" she yelled into her mother's office as she passed it. "Ms. Edith at Ben's said 'hi'!"

"Aw, how sweet of her to think of me!" she said with a smile. "I'll have to send you by her house with a plate of cookies this week."

She groaned inwardly. Edith's a nice woman, but Cairo's mother, Katherine, does not conjure up her life-changing cookies on any given day. Which means that she would make a small batch—just enough for Edith and her husband, Clarke—and then, poof! No-one's going to see those cookies until Christmastime. Bounding up the staircase and into her bedroom, practically leaping onto her bed with a sigh.

Meanwhile, he was watching her still. He didn't even think to consider the idea of someone catching him stare at this girl, sat in the rocking chair on his front porch, watching her intently through a pair of zooming binoculars while she boredly scrolled through her phone. Quite frankly, he wouldn't care at all. If someone were to walk by and ask him what he was doing, he'd merely say: "Protecting my girl."

He doesn't give a damn if she took a glance out her window and saw a man—that man—staring back at her. Knowing her, which obviously he does, she'd probably scream for her mom and tell her mom to come and look because "there's a strange man" looking at her through her window. And then her mom would come and look but by then he'd be back in his home across the way from hers, in his bedroom, watching her panic through the telescope he'd set up.

That'd be a gift to himself, really. Because he knows deep within that she thinks about him. Even though maybe the thoughts are of worry or panic and not ones of admiration, all he cares about is the fact that he's invaded her thoughts just like she's invaded his.

[hphmbang2020]

Merry Christmas, Kyril!

@kyril-hphm

From your Secret Santa, @unoriginal2tall

Kyril used his thumb and forefinger to rub his eyes before he returned his glasses to their rightful place. He was exhausted. He'd always kept busy during his time at Hogwarts. Between classes, the vaults, and maintaining some semblance of a social life, he was used to late nights and even the occasional all nighter. But with the start of sixth year came an increase in schoolwork that had seriously eaten into his sleep schedule. Still he opened his eyes and, with a weary sigh, resumed work on his partially finished potion.

Potions class was always difficult when one was tired. The cool, damp air of the dungeons came into contrast with the warmth of the fires used to heat the cauldrons. There was even the risk of pleasant smells and vapors filling the air, though that was dependent on the potion to be brewed for the day. Today's assignment was perhaps the worst offender of all, amortentia. The most powerful love potion in the world. Even some of the ingredients smelled nice on their own. All of these things combined and seemed to drag Kyril's eyelids down repeatedly. He should have taken a wide-eye potion this morning. 

Somehow he managed to keep his eyes open and his hands moving. Just a few more steps and then class would be over. As he leaned closer to stir, the warm vapors began to wash over him and threatened to close his eyes once more. Concentrate Kyril. Think about something to keep your mind working. The Christmas holiday approached quickly and planning for that should be enough excitement to drive off his weariness. He glanced aside to his table mate Merula Snyde, occasional thorn in his side and yet somehow still fun to be around. She always stayed for Christmas, but what exactly could the two Slytherins do together? Hopefully something that did not end in yet another duel. Kyril's mind searched and a possibility began to play out for him.

-------------------------------------------------

Kyril found himself in the warm and inviting Three Broomsticks, its interior decorated in all manner of bright Christmas decorations. He sat in a corner booth by himself near the fireplace, a thick book open on the table next to an untouched butterbeer. Before he had time to consider why he was here, his table was suddenly approached by Merula. She wore a plain green sweater under a heavy black coat and had a butterbeer in hand.

"Vasiley. Spending time with all your friends I see," she quipped while she sauntered up to the table.

"Snyde. Yes, they were just listing all your best qualities," he replied coolly, his face composed and calm as ever.

She set her drink on the table and threw her coat off into the booth. "Well, allow me to interrupt then," she said as she slid herself onto the seat across from him. She eyed his still full drink. "Are you going to babysit that all night or what?" Merula asked derisively.

"I will drink at my own pace, thank you. Not everything has to be a competition between us," came Kyril's retort as he tried to re-focus on his book. For some strange reason he was having difficulty making out the words.

The girl's face became mischievous. "Oh I see. Afraid to lose are we?" she taunted. Merula grabbed her drink and quickly gulped down a fifth of the sickly sweet liquid. "Ahhhhhh!" she let out an exaggerated gasp as she set the mug down and then wiped a bit of liquid from the corner of her mouth.

"Your childish tactics won't work on me anymore Snyde," Kyril said though his eyes involuntarily flickered between her mug and his own. He was not going to fall for this. That was until she began to reach for her drink once more. He was not losing, even in a contest that was objectively stupid and childish. He snatched his own mug and began to chug. With that the race was on.

Some time later both teenagers struggled to finish a fifth mug. A pair of stomachs rebelled against all the liquid and sugar that had been forced upon them. The two locked eyes, each determined not to lose. "Ready to give up Snyde? You don't look so good," Kyril asked.

"In your dreams Vasiley. You're looking fairly pale yourself. Well, paler," she fired back. Damn her.

Both Slytherins knocked back the rest of their drinks and slammed their glasses onto the table at the same time. Kyril waited a moment for his stomach to calm slightly. This couldn't continue, else one or both of them would have to vomit. However he knew that neither of them would want to lose. Then he got an idea. "You know, we could call it a draw. If you'd like," Kyril offered.

"Pffft. A draw? Why would I want to draw? I'm the most powerful..." she began before she paused with a look of unease. "I suppose in the spirit of Christmas I could accept a draw. Think of it as my gift to you," the girl added with false confidence.

"Wow, you are so generous," he sarcastically replied with a roll of his eyes. Still he breathed a sigh of relief that the silly competition had come to an end. "Care to walk back to the castle?"

Merula responded with a shrug and a disinterested, "Yeah, alright I guess." She wasn't quite able to hide the slight twitch of her lips that threatened to become a smile if left unchecked though. 

The pair slowly got up, put on their heavy coats, and made their way to the door. Neither wanted to move particularly fast after all the butterbeer they'd just drank. That was until they got outside and began to trudge through the snow, all exposed skin feeling the bite of the bitterly cold December air. A few warming charms helped mitigate this, but still neither wanted to stay outside for any longer than they had to.

"Hey Kyril!" he heard a familiar voice call from behind. He turned towards the sound, but when he did the entire world swirled around him. There was darkness for the blink of an eye and then he no longer walked through the cold snow of Hogsmeade with Merula. Instead he found he had just entered the heat filled Hogwarts kitchens, also decorated for the Christmas season, and was being approached by the lovable rogue Jae Kim in his trademark yellow hoodie. It was then Kyril realized that that was the voice he'd heard.

"Hey Jae," he replied automatically in his confusion.

"What brings you to my home away from home?" Jae asked curiously. "Didn't think I'd get to see you in detention again."

"I'm not sure," Kyril responded honestly, still taken aback by his sudden change in surroundings. "Wait how did you manage to get detention over Christmas?"

"Ah ah ah," Jae said with a sarcastic wag of his finger. "I can't just go around giving away my secrets like that."

Kyril couldn't help a small smile at his friend's flippant answer. Knowing Jae there were any number of infractions that could be the cause of his Christmastime captivity. Most likely it was a combination of multiple offenses. Kyril adjusted the glasses that had become slightly askew on his face before he replied sarcastically, "Yes, well I suppose you wouldn't want anyone to imitate you."

"Exactly. There can only be one Jae Kim in the school or it would never survive," Jae said in a way that almost seemed like bragging. "Say, since you're here, care to help with some dishes?" The Gryffindor's eyes seemed to grow twice as large as he asked, and Kyril swore to himself. Surely he had better things to do than dishes, and yet...

"Sigh. Fine. I will help with some dishes," the Slytherin accepted with a heavy emphasis on the word some. This was not going to end up like the time Jae tricked him into doing all the work for the day.

"Hooray," the shifty Gryffindor exclaimed. "Glad I've got my old work flirt back." With this he gave a wink and headed off to one of the many sinks piled high with dishes, followed by a Kyril who had failed to keep himself from blushing.

They each rolled up their sleeves and got to work scrubbing, rinsing, and drying dish after dish. As they moved around each other to get things put away, Jae began to get playful. He'd bump into Kyril with his hips or run his hand across Kyril's shoulders. The Slytherin couldn't determine whether he was more annoyed or excited by this.

"Would you mind helping me get something from the storage cupboard?" Jae whispered into his ear as they neared the end of their pile of dishes. 

Kyril gulped and then watched the other boy head towards the main storage cupboard. After a moment's hesitation he followed. When he got there he saw Jae playfully launch himself onto a large sack of flour, which exploded and filled the room with the white powder. As Kyril attempted to clear the air of flour it suddenly changed to a clump of snow falling from a tree branch right onto him.

"Kyril! Are you alright?" he heard a concerned girl say from nearby. Was that Chiara? His suspicions were confirmed when moments later he had cleared the snow from his face enough to see. As she drew near him she used her wand to quickly dry him off and warm him. Bless her healer training.

Kyril removed his glasses to clean the snow off of them. "Chiara. Yes I am now, thanks to you," he answered her. This earned him one of her big smiles that always brightened his day. She had on a heavy coat with a Hufflepuff color scheme and badger crest. "What are you doing out here in the snow anyway?" the boy asked while he looked at his surroundings. They seemed to be on the outskirts of the forbidden forest.

"Oh, I brought some friends to play with Borf for a bit," the cheerful Puff answered as she gestured to a trio of crups following after her. Two were white with light brown spots, and the third had a coat that was fully chocolate brown. They bound their way through the snow and began sniffing the Slytherin boy. "Come on out Borf!" Chiara called further into the forest, and moments later the large grey werewolf pup came running out of the forest through the snow. He made his way to the werewolf girl and received the pats on his head he wanted.

 Kyril bent down and began to pet the crups. They were quite cute and all seemed full of energy, six tails wagged about and occasionally sent bits of snow flying this way or that. It was then the boy had an idea. "Chiara, do you think they'd enjoy playing with me in my animagus form?" he asked curiously.

"Kyril that's brilliant, they'd love it!" she exclaimed as she ran over and gave him a hug that warmed him more than her spells had earlier. Well alright then. 

His question answered he used the magic that was now a part of him to change his form. He leaned forward and by the time his hands would have hit the ground they had already changed into large paws covered in white fur. Where once stood a proud and stoic Slytherin now sat the big furry body of a Samoyed. The crups and werewolf pup were confused briefly, before they began to jump around and bark with excitement at the new furred friend that had suddenly appeared.

Kyril had always found his animagus form freeing. It was as though leaving his human form behind also left behind all of his problems, at least temporarily. He hopped through the snow to a nearby tree and began to dig. After a moment he found the treasure he'd been looking for, a large and sturdy stick. He picked it up in his mouth and showed it to the other animals. Then without warning he took off in a run away from the group. As he had hoped there were soon four sets of paws that chased after him.

He didn't know how long he played with the crups and Borf. They'd played keep away with the stick and after that was some basic play fighting that all canines do. Chiara even got involved by throwing different sticks she found for them to chase. What he did know is that he was exhausted by the time he'd transformed back and taken a seat on a fallen log next to Chiara. He took a moment to catch his breath before speaking. "Pant. That was fun. I don't often get the chance to get loose like that," he eventually stated.

"I'm glad you got to enjoy yourself. And that all of them got to have a good time," she added while pointing to the group of canines that had gathered around them to lay down. They too seemed to have been worn out by all the playing. Chiara moved a little closer to Kyril before she wordlessly rested her head on his shoulder.

They sat there in silence for a while, before Chiara eventually stood up and stretched. "Well, I should probably be getting these crups back to Kettleburn soon. I'm glad I ran into you. I think everyone had a great time," the cheerful teen said. She collected the crups and began to make her way out of the sparse treeline they were in.

"I'll join you," Kyril called after her as he rose to join her. As he caught up to her they passed between two trees and the world turned on its head again. He tripped and fell towards the forest floor. Only instead of grass, roots, and snow he found himself on a stone floor covered in straw. He looked about enough to realize he was in the owlery before he attempted to stand.

It was then he noticed he was no longer in his usual sweater and slacks. No he was in a floor length light turquoise dress that hugged his slim figure closely. His white hair had been lengthened to fall past his shoulders, but fortunately he was in matching turquoise flats and not heels. He didn't know how, but somehow Dariah was behind this. 

As he made his way toward the exit though, he heard the door open. Damn, someone must be here to send a letter. He quickly looked around and decided the balcony was the best place to stay out of the newcomer's way. Hopefully they'd mail their letter and leave without paying him much mind. He made his way to the edge and immediately regretted the decision as he realized he didn't have a coat on. Still he went up to the railing to look out over the grounds of Hogwarts. He didn't often see the view from up here since his common room was in the dungeon and not one of the castle's towers.

 He heard footsteps enter the owlery and then stop in the middle of the floor. Crap, they must have spotted him. Kyril just hoped it wasn't someone he knew. Seconds later, his hopes were dashed when he clearly heard his friend Talbott say, "Oh. Hello. I'm not used to other people coming here for anything besides the post."

"Yes, well I'm just enjoying the view," Kyril replied while he attempted to make his voice higher so he wouldn't be recognized. He moved involuntarily pressed himself to the railing in an attempt to put more distance between them.

This quickly backfired when Talbott worried aloud, "Hey you're getting awful close to the edge there. Careful you don't fall." He came closer and soon stood directly behind the crossdressed Slytherin. His concern was touching, but also a bit patronizing. As though he was incompetent and clumsy.

"I'm not a child, I'll be fine," Kyril snapped in his normal voice because he forgot he was supposed to be disguising it. He leaned over the ledge and looked down to prove his point. It was then he realized just how high they were and he began to wobble some from the sight. The irony of a fall from the tower because he attempted to prove he wouldn't fall was lost on him in the moment of panic.

Suddenly a pair of firm hands grab him by the hips and steadied him. "It's okay. I've got you," Talbott's calm voice reassured him. Kyril leaned back and stretched out his arms. For a second it felt like he was flying. Then he brought his feet back onto the balcony floor and turned to Talbott without thinking. "Kyril?" Talbott asked in confusion.

Before he could answer he began to hear another voice calling his name. This time it was Rowan's, and as he repeated "Kyril. Kyril." in a loud whisper he suddenly felt his shoulder be pushed and the world around him disappeared. Instead he was back in the potions classroom leaned against his table. He must have fallen asleep in class.

His face red from the dreams he'd had, he looked down at his cauldron and his heart sank. Amortentia was not supposed to be gurgling and brown at any point. How in Merlin's name was he going to fix this before…

"Ahem. Vasiley. Normally you are more attentive with your potions. Care to explain how your amortentia ended up in such a sorry state?" Snape droned in his typical dripping sarcasm. On the other side of the table Merula snickered. Kyril put those happy dreams away to think about later. For now he needed to figure out how to explain this.

[dreamlikeafangirl]

A Christmas Carol

Summary: Loki can’t stand Christmas. You can’t stand Loki. But everything might change when he is forced to visit a Christmas market with you.

Prompts used: 113 (I’m good to go), 90 ([I] felt that winter wind blow cold), 55 (With you), 50 (Hand in my hand)

Pairing:  Loki x gender neutral reader

Warnings: just festive fluff I guess  

Words:  5,3k

A/N:  My first fanfic on here, yay! Please feel free to point out any mistakes I made so I can improve my English :)

 „I can’t believe it.“ You said. “It’s Christmas Eve, and I am alone on my way to the Christmas market. How is this happening?” Angrily, you threw your hands up. “They all let me down, even though they know how much I looked forward to it! Some friends they are.”

Your enraged breath created little clouds in the cold air when you continued walking along the street. You faced the ground underneath your feet, mumbled a few more unflattering words, and then took a deep breath. “Pull yourself together, (Y/N). It’s Christmas, the time of giving and forgiving. Let them stay home. I can have fun by myself, thank you very much.”

It was no secret to your fellow Avengers that Christmas was by far your favourite holiday. That’s why they had promised to join you to visit your favourite Christmas market many, many times. However until today, December 24, there had always been something in the way; important missions, meetings or training. But now it was Christmas Eve. Everyone had a day off, and therefore time for the market – right? You wished.

Clint, the Hawkeye, visited his family over the holidays and his best friend Natasha, Black Widow, came with him. In a last-minute-decision, he also took Wanda, the young Scarlet Witch. And naturally, Vision had followed in Wanda’s footsteps, so he was gone, too.

The same applied to War Machine Rhodey, who was also across the country with his family.

Then there was Iron Man Tony, who had declared loudly and dramatically that he would be spending the entire day with his fiancée Pepper and only her and God help the person that bothered them.

Steve, Bucky and Sam, aka Super Soldier, Winter Soldier and Falcon Soldier, had all volunteered to spend time with veterans and their families.

And lastly, Thor, to everyone’s complete surprise, had caught a heavy cold on one of your last missions. Nobody, including Thor himself and his wickedly smart stepbrother Loki, had known that could happen to Norse gods. But nevertheless, Thor was forced to stay in bed on the greatest day of the whole year. Bruce, part-time-scientist and Thor’s best friend, part-time green rage monster, was in charge of him. But spending Christmas Eve bringing Thor warm soup and enduring his never ending rants of self-pity? Even going to the Christmas Market all alone sounded better than that.

 -

So you’d taken off, had left Avengers HQ and were now on your way to the next bus station. After checking the timetable (luckily the next bus would arrive in just a few minutes), you sat down on a bench by the station.

Finally, you were able to completely calm yourself. It was Christmas, the happiest time of the year. You were going to have a great day at the market, it did not matter with (or without) whom you were going to spend it. The Avengers didn’t know what they were missing.

It was only then that you noticed something weird. Being an agent, your senses were pretty well trained and it confused you that this was the first time you had this odd feeling. Your intuition told you that you weren’t as alone as you had thought you were.

You looked around and saw nothing. Nobody. Empty streets, empty sideways. “Aw, what the hell?” You muttered. You really weren’t in the mood for an ambush right now. Even though you could, of course, easily level a few robbers. But you hadn’t stretched or warmed up today, after all, it was a day off.

“Please, will you finally stop talking to yourself?”

You spun around. Where was this voice coming from? You still couldn’t spot anyone. “Show yourself!” You demanded loudly and hopefully in the right direction. Your muscles tensed and you clenched your fists, ready to defend yourself.

“Calm down.” The disembodied voice spoke. It sounded even more annoyed than the first time. “It’s me.”

“Ugh.” You began to figure out who it was – the only person you knew who turned himself invisible simply for the fun of it. “This isn’t funny, Loki.”

With a flash of green light, Loki appeared next to you, seemingly out of thin air. He chuckled softly. “It was for me.”

You scoffed and got up from the bench. “Douchebag. What do you want?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Your friends seem to feel guilty for letting you go all alone. So my brother and Bruce insisted I kept you company.”

You groaned again. Thor and Bruce had send Loki to accompany you? Really? Him of all persons? You decided to have a very serious talk with them about that when you got back.

“Thanks, but I don’t need a chaperon.” You said, waving him away with your hand. “Bye.”

“Trust me, dearest (Y/N), I don’t like this any more than you do. But it is happening.” He said.

“There is no need!” You saw the bus coming. The time to get rid of Loki was running out quickly. “Really, Loki. I’m good to go alone. Thanks again.”

Loki crossed his arms. “I thought you didn’t want to go alone.”

You looked at him. “How do you … ?” Then you remembered. “Right! You made yourself invisible and eavesdropped on me.” I stressed the words in an attempt to make him feel bad about his idiotic behaviour. Judging by his cheeky smile, you didn’t succeed.

“You were the one talking to yourself. I had to listen to your whining.” Loki spoke, imitating my tone of voice.

What an absolute a-hole! Speechless, you turned towards the bus and stepped inside, not caring if Loki followed you or not. You couldn’t believe this was happening.

 -

Loki had lived on your planet for quite a while now. Apparently he was a danger for Asgard and his throne, so to avoid being executed he had to move to earth, into Avengers HQ. You could tell he hated it. Hated the living conditions and the human society with its rules and values (including everything that had to do with Christmas). Hated having to be with the Avengers all the time. Hated to actually do good things when he joined you on missions here and then. But Thor had to have an eye on him almost 24/7, that was the only kind of freedom Loki got. And yes, it sucked. But it didn’t make him likable or his behaviour okay.

Being an Avenger, you were often around Loki. And just like your teammates, you had your unspoken quarrels with him. It didn’t matter that he was kind of good now. He’d still attacked your hometown New York with aliens. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t from earth; him being rude and completely oblivious to any human customs was still annoying as hell. It also didn’t matter that he was really attractive, you still didn’t like him one bit. That’s why you never talked to him if not necessary. And you had decided to keep it that way for today.

So you stayed quiet during the whole bus ride. It wasn’t very hard, you were still pissed.

When your stop came up, you got up from your seat and walked towards the nearest door, Loki did the same.

“Get lost.” You started a last attempt to make him leave.

He sighed. “I really want to, but I can’t.”

You got off the bus and a gust of cold winter wind blew you right in the face immediately. You shuddered and pulled your beanie down to cover your forehead.

Meanwhile, Loki eyed the Christmas market which was now right in front of you. It was a big square confined on three sides by tall houses and a church in one of the corners. In the middle of the place stood a giant Christmas tree next to a big decorative Christmas pyramid. Even though it was only early afternoon, everything was illuminated by bright lights. The place was crowded with groups of people, strolling by the many festively decorated stalls, drinking hot beverages and generally enjoying themselves and the time they spend with their loves ones. Everything oozed joy, happiness and Christmas spirit. Loki definitely hated it.

“You’re cold, let’s make this quick.” He said.

You didn’t even bother explaining to him that being quick didn’t make sense at an event like a Christmas market. You were too mad at him. How could a person be so barefaced? This was your visit to the Christmas market – on Christmas! And were you going to let Loki ruin it? Not a chance. That strategy would not work on you. You wanted this time, and like you’d told yourself earlier, it didn’t matter who you spend it with. Screw Loki and his dislike for anything human-y and nice. He had been annoying you from the start, now it was time to give back.

You turned towards him, a flashing smile on your face. “You can go anytime you want, you know.”

He just closed his eyes and sighed in defeat.

 -

The Christmas market was every bit as beautiful as it had been in the last years. The market stalls radiated warmth and the smell of pine cones, punch and marzipan. Some of them played Christmas songs from the 80s and 90s that just towed the line between annoying and iconic. All these strings of lights were the most beautiful thing you’d seen in a long time. People chattered, the sky was a bright white. The wind hadn’t slowed down, but you didn’t care anymore. Your senses were overwhelmed, but in a good way. In a holy-crap-I-missed-Christmastime-so-much-way. It didn’t even matter that Loki’s presence resembled a dark shadow following in your footsteps, his eyes full of quiet impatience.

After you’d crossed the whole square, you stopped by a table. It was time you got something to drink. “I’m going to get some mulled wine, you want some too?” You asked, kind of throwing your no-talking-policy overboard.

Loki wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Mulled wine?”

“Yeah.” You replied, internally rolling your eyes at his immediate aversion. “And Loki, if you never try anything new you’ll never–”

“I’ll take it, (Y/N).” He interrupted you.

You raised your eyebrows sceptically. “Really?”

Instead of answering, Loki just sat down at the table and crossed his arms in an expectant manner.

You shrugged, turned around and went to get two cups of the deliciously sweet, heated wine. You’d seen Loki having discussions with your teammates several times. Giving up this quickly was very unusual for him. Had he accepted the offer just to satisfy you? To shut you down? You shook your head. Whatever. Even if so. You didn’t care.

When you returned to the table, Loki looked as grumpy as ever.

“Here.” You handed him one of the cups of mulled wine you just bought. “Wine a bit, it’ll make you feel better.”

His eyes shot up to you. “What did you just say to me?” He asked sharply.

“Woah.” Even though you weren’t exactly afraid of him, you took a step back. “It was just a joke, a play on words.”

He didn’t look convinced.

“Wine – whine.” You explained. For a god, and a smart one for that matter, his brain seemed to work pretty slowly when it came to puns. But you didn’t make the mistake of saying that out loud. However there was something else you just had to get out: “Besides, Loki, even if it wasn’t a joke, you told me earlier that my talking sounded like whining, so it’s only fair.”

Loki raised the cup of wine to his lips and drank. You noticed that this was already the second time of him not answering to something you’d said. And it made you grin widely. Had you really been able to freeze that silver tongue of his? You were so going to tell the rest of the team.

You drank your own wine standing up while looking around at the people passing you by. The beverage was just delicious. And another reason you loved Christmastime. Too bad that drinking this stuff was considered weird during summer. You could drink it all year long.

When you were done, you turned back around to Loki. He was slowly putting down his emptied cup, his eyes closed, and a light smile on his lips.

You blinked in surprise. A smile. He was smiling. Not that you had never experienced that before. No, Loki was often smiling. Just always sarcastically. Or maliciously. Never had you seen him smile out of joy. Not until today.

You pushed lightly at his shoulder. “Stop having so much fun, Loki!” You chuckled.

He opened his eyes and the smile faded. You almost regretted teasing him, but then he looked at you and said: “That tasted surprisingly well. It was not nearly as good as the wine in Asgard, but, for Midgard …”

You tilted you head, now making the same expectant expression he’d done earlier.

Loki rolled his eyes, but the smile returned. “Thank you, (Y/N).” He finally said.

“You’re welcome.” You answered, very pleased with yourself. “Now give me your cup, I’ll return it. And afterwards … if you want, we can get out of here. Go home.”

He handed me his cup. “We don’t have to leave yet.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t like it here.”

“I never said that.”

“Not with your words.”

He sighed. “Fine, I didn’t like it at first. But with you, it’s almost bearable.”

You laughed, and then turned around to return the cups, leaving Loki with these last words. “With me it’s ’almost bearable’, huh?” You said to yourself, giggling. You felt your cheeks turn red with happiness, and you didn’t know if it was because of Loki’s hidden compliment or because you now knew you could stay even longer at the market.

 -

“Can I ask a question, Loki?” Now that you were exploring the Christmas market together, with him not just following you but actually walking beside you, you didn’t want the two of you to remain quiet. You hated uncomfortable silences. So you’d decided to start a conversation.

“Certainly, (Y/N).” He answered.

You had never noticed how soft and velvety his voice was. For a second, you almost forgot your question. “Do … do your people celebrate Christmas as well?”

He looked at you. “The Æsir?”

“U-hu.” You nodded.

“The Æsir are not my people.” Loki spoke. You could tell he was trying to hide the bitterness in his voice, but it wasn’t working well.

“Sorry.” You said quickly, even though you weren’t sure what exactly you’d done wrong.

But as quick as the topic had come up, Loki dropped it. “The folk in Asgard celebrates a festival called Yule.” He told you. “I believe it to be similar to your Christmas.”

“Yule.” You repeated the word. “Sounds beautiful. Tell me more.”

He sighed. “It’s a winter holiday celebrating faith, family and love, what more do you need to know?”

You bit your lip. Faith, family and love. From what you knew about Loki, he had little of either one. No wonder he hated Christmas. Or Yuletide. You looked at him, but his eyes were full of defiance rather than sadness. You decided not to bring it up. You didn’t know him well enough for that. Instead you said: “Anything else? What’s different from our Christmas here on earth? ”

“Hm, let’s see.” Loki looked at the sky, thinking. “Well, for once, the presents aren’t brought by an overweight old man.”

“Hey.” You gave him a playfully serious look. “Not a word against Santa.”

“Your ‘Santa’ looks like my adoptive father, Odin.” Loki grimaced. “Only the eyepatch is missing.”

You laughed, even though you’d never laid and eye upon Odin. “Does your adoptive dad also have a flying sleigh with eight reindeer?”

Loki shook his head. “No, but he does have an eight legged horse.”

You stopped walking and forced him to stop, too. “You’re kidding. Eight legs?”

“Exactly.” He seemed surprised you doubted him.

“No. That’s not possible!”

“Actually, Sleipnir is my offspring, (Y/N).”

You started laughing out loudly. “I don’t believe you, Loki.”

“I’m serious!” He asserted.

“Shut up!” You almost snorted with laughter. “There is no way, an eight-legged horse is your – how did you put it? – ‘offspring’.”

Loki sighed. “I guess I should call myself lucky to get this kind of reaction.”

You wiped away a tear. Loki’s story was too absurd, it could never be true. “So, then, if not Santa, who does bring the presents in Asgard?” You wanted to know.

“Will you believe me this time?” He asked.

“Depends.”

“Okay.” He sighed again. “It’s a goat. The Yule goat.”

You tried your absolute hardest to remain a neutral face and voice. “And, this Yule goat, is he your offspring too, Loki?”

“You offend me, (Y/N).” He said dead serious, looking into your eyes.

Then you both broke out into laughter. You hadn’t laughed this hard in a long time. Your eyes started to tear again and your belly hurt. But these things faded to the background when your gaze met Loki. You had never seen him laughing out of joy before, either. He was bending his head slightly backwards and one of his hands was pressed against his chest. Every sliver of spite, every hint of annoyance had vanished from his eyes and his features. He looked like a whole new person, a healthier one, a happier one. He wasn’t just attractive anymore, he was good-looking. Plus his laugh was one of the most pleasant sounds you had ever heard. You were completely in awe.

It took you a few seconds to notice that Loki had stopped laughing and was now looking at you with an awkward expression on his face. “Are you alright, (Y/N)?”

“Uh, yeah.” You stuttered. “I … I just had an idea. I’ll be back in ten minutes, Loki, just wait here, please.” And with that, you quickly turned around and practically ran away into the isle between the two nearest market stalls. Away from Loki and your embarrassment. You had probably stared at him with glassy eyes for who knows how long. The mere thought made you cringe. What would he think of you now? And in the same heartbeat you wondered since when cared what Loki thought.

 -

The sky had already darkened when you were finally ready to leave the Christmas market.

You and Loki had both gotten another cup of mulled wine and you had introduced him to roasted almonds which (surprise!) he liked more that he’d previously thought he would. Then the two of you had inspected a good portion of the many market stalls selling all kinds of festive odds and ends. And you’d explained the Christmas pyramid to Loki and in that context also the whole story of Baby Jesus’s birth. He found the tale just as ridiculous as I had found the one about the Sleipnir, eight-legged horse.

But by now, it really was time to leave; even you had to admit that. You guided Loki back towards the bus station, which was overcrowded with people. Apparently this was a popular time to leave the market. “Oh, no.” You sighed. “I doubt we will all fit into one bus. We’re going to have to wait for the next one or even for the one after that if we want to get home.”

“Or” Loki took your arm. “We could walk. It’s not that far.”

You tilted your head. It was starting to get pretty cold pretty fast. And despite what Loki said, the way home was not only a short hop. But waiting for the bus? At least walking would keep you warm. “Alright.” You decided. “Let’s go.”

Turned out you were wrong. Even though you had chosen a swift speed, you immediately started to freeze. Shivering, you wrapped your arms around yourself.

“How are you not cold?” You asked Loki to distract yourself. You had noticed a while ago that he was only wearing an opened black coat over a thin grey sweater with a green and gold scarf decoratively draped around his neck. Nothing to cover his head and no gloves. Yet the cold didn’t seem to bother him at all.

You, on the other hand, had put on your warmest hoodie underneath your winter jacket. You wore your favourite woollen beanie and on your hands your thickest gloves. They were buried in your pockets as deep as possible. And you were still freezing cold.

“I do not get cold.” Loki said and shrugged. “After all, I am a Frost Giant.”

You were surprised. You hadn’t known that about him, but then again, until today you had never really cared for Loki. “That’s why you said that the Æsir weren’t your people.”

He nodded. “Now if you start asking questions about how the folk in Jötunheimr are celebrating Christmas …”

I cut him off, laughing. “I wasn’t going to.”

“Good.”

“For a giant, you’re kinda small, Loki.”

Okay, technically, Loki was a tall person. He was certainly taller than you, taller than Bruce and even taller than Cap. But you had seen humans larger than him. And that, in your opinion, made him small, at least for a self-proclaimed giant. And then another thought crossed your mind and you grinned. “Thor is taller than you!”

Loki stopped walking and turned towards you with a suddenly outraged look, pointing his finger. “Why did you have to mention Thor, (Y/N)? I swear, next time I–“ He interrupted himself. “Stop shaking.“

“I can’t.” You answered, your teeth chattering. “It’s really f-f-freaking cold. Can we w-walk again?”

You continued walking on the sideway. Luckily, Loki had forgotten his anger about being compared to Thor. He seemed to be more concerned about your wellbeing, his eyes never leaving you. Strangely enough, it made you feel like you were melting under his eyes. Even though the only heat you were feeling was the warmth of your bright red cheeks.

“C-can you please stop s-staring at me?” You asked after a few minutes as you felt slightly embarrassed by his behaviour and the lack of talking. “Or is the c-c-concept of freez-z-zing that f-foreign to you?”

“It isn’t.” Loki answered. “I just want to be able to catch you should something happen.”

Your breath caught in your throat. What did he just say?

“My brother and your friends would kill me if I let you get hurt.” He continued. “After all, they sent me to have an eye on you.”

Oh. Yeah, you were stupid. What the hell was going on with you? A few hours ago, there had been few things you loathed more than this guy’s face, and now? You could have looked at his face all day. And so, you did exactly that: you turned your head and looked into his eyes. “That excuse gets old, you know.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Excuse?”

“You know what I’m talking about. You could have had one of your illusions to ‘have an eye on me’.” You said. “You’re smart enough, Thor and Bruce would have never noticed. You could have made it stay invisible the whole afternoon, and I too wouldn’t have known.”

Loki laughed nervously. “That’s an allegation, (Y/N). I would never betray my brother like that nor would I invade your privacy.”

You nodded sarcastically. “Oh, sure you wouldn’t. You chose to spend this afternoon with me at the Christmas market, just admit it!”

Loki shook his head. “Even if I did, I–”

Fortunately for him, in that exact same second a large truck rushed alongside the two of you. And not only did the motor of the vehicle make ridiculously loud noise, but it also left you and Loki in a cloud of stinking exhaust gases.

“So, do you regret it?” You asked once the dust had settled and could remove your hands from your nose.

Loki shook his head after a few seconds of thinking.

“You seem to get used to our earthly customs, because anything else would have been rude.”

He ignored your comment and said: “Now it’s my turn. Why’d you run away from me earlier? What was that idea of yours?“

“You want to know if that was also just an excuse?” You smiled sweetly.

Loki sighed. “(Y/N), are you aware of how obnoxious you are acting?”

“I’m just giving you a taste of your own medicine!” You argued.

He laughed, but not happily. “You remind me of Thor.”

“Are you insulting me?” You couldn’t help but raise your voice.

“Being compared to your friend Thor should hardly be and insult to you!” Loki said just as loud.

“It was to you, and you’re his brother!”

“So what why did you run away from me?”

“I was buying you a Christmas present!”

Loki went silent.

You gladly did the same. You were freezing too much to really follow what just happened anyways. Also you were out of breath and it didn’t feel good, because the air was ice-cold.  

“You bought me a present?” Loki asked.

You coughed and pressed your hands to your chest. Your lung was feeling like it was being pierced with a thousand knives every time you took a breath.

Loki’s eyes changed from surprise to concern. “(Y/N), are you feeling alright? Look at me!”

You would’ve loved to, but tears clouded your vision. You squirmed and gasped for air. It felt like your own breath was choking you.

You felt Loki’s hands on your back and shoulder, steadying you. “Breathe, (Y/N)!” His voice was near your ear. “Just breathe, slowly.”

It took you a little longer to collect yourself. But finally the pain wore off, so you could wipe away your tears and catch your breath. Loki was still holding you, which was a good thing, because your knees felt week. “Thank you, Loki.” Was the first sentence you said when you regained your ability to form words.

“Let’s get you home, (Y/N).” He simply answered.

For the remainder of the way, Loki let you lean on him, your hand in his hand. He held you as if he feared you could slip away from his grasp.

 -

Half an hour later, you were lying in your bed in Avengers HQ. You had tucked yourself under a warm blanket and Bruce was bringing you hot chicken soup.

“Please don’t you get sick too, (Y/N).” He said when he sat down the bowl on your bed stand.

“I won’t” You promised with a weak smile. “I’m just tired. I – we – walked around a lot.”

Bruce scratched the back of his head. “I still feel bad about sending Loki after you, but he was the only one available. Did you have an okay day with him?”

“I did.” You were still smiling.

Bruce nodded. “I’m glad. Get better, (Y/N).”

“Thanks. See you tomorrow.”

You left your bed only once that evening, to return the empty bowl to the kitchen and make yourself a hot chocolate. On your way back you saw Loki sitting alone in the living room, reading a book, his forehead resting in one of his hands. His eyes didn’t seem to be focused on the pages at all, but maybe that was just you imagining things.

 -

The next day was Christmas Day. You woke up early and tiptoed to Loki’s room, his present in your hands. You had figuratively and literally lost sleep over the question of when would be the right time to give it to him, since he didn’t have a Christmas stocking like all the others. Eventually you had decided on leaving it at his door, secretly, so that he would notice it when he left. A handover without personal contact. And definitely not in front of the other Avengers. That meant the least amount of embarrassment for you.

You crouched down in front of the door carefully. Everything was quiet, it didn’t sound like Loki was awake yet. So you carefully placed the present on the ground. It was a Yule goat, made out of straw, about the size of a shoebox. Sometime yesterday during your conversation with Loki about Yule, you had remembered seeing a market stall selling traditional Scandinavian Christmas decoration. Then, after, well, running away from him, you’d gone back there and bought the goat.

After delivering the present it was time for breakfast with your friends before everyone would empty their stockings. Bruce and Tony were the only ones in the kitchen yet, but that wasn’t the first thing you noticed after you’d entered. The first thing you noticed was Tony’s bright red Christmas sweater – the ugliest one you had ever seen. Christmas spirit at its finest. You loved it.

“(Y/N)! Merry Christmas!” Tony shouted when he spotted you and ran to give you a hug. He squeezed you tighter than usual and laughed a little louder as well. Was he drunk already? Probably. He was Tony Stark after all.

“Woah, good morning!” You chuckled and took a seat at the big table.

In doing so, your eyes crossed with Bruce’s, who had just wrestled the breakfast champagne bottle out of Tony’s grip. He looked exhausted already. Poor man. Yesterday it had been Thor, now he needed to take care of Tony. You gave him a sympathetic look. “Hey Bruce. Merry Christmas.”

However before Bruce could react, a tall figure sat down next to you. You turned around and looked right into a familiar pair of eyes.

“Uh, Loki, good morning.”

“A good morning, indeed.” He said with a broad smile.

You laughed awkwardly. “How comes?”

Loki leaned forward, his face only inches from yours. “Earlier, a little Yule goat came by my door and brought me a present.” He whispered.

Thor, who had apparently arrived alongside with Loki, settled himself next his brother. “Really?” He asked with his booming, yet at the moment a little husky voice. “A Yule goat?”

Loki shot him a murderous glare. “Eavesdropping is considered rude on this planet, brother.” He spoke sourly.

Normally, you’d now said something like ‘I really am a good influence on you, huh?’ And it would have ruined the moment.

You really had acted obnoxiously yesterday. Not everything needed to be said out loud. Sometimes it was enough to know. And right now, it was enough to know that you had made Loki a tiny bit of a better person.

“Thank you for the present, (Y/N).” He finally said.

“Do you like it?”

“Very much. It … it makes my room feel a little bit like home.” You met Loki’s eyes, and they smiled, he smiled.

And you smiled back at him. “You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Loki.” Then, you leaned in and gave him a hug, wrapping your arms around his chest. It had been a completely spontaneous action, a kind of reflex, but you were glad you decided not to fight it.

You felt him taking a deep breath. “Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

-

 It was like a little sun had risen inside of Loki on this day. A light that fought away the bitterness. You could hear its warmth radiating in his voice every time he spoke, saw its glow in his eyes when he looked at you. You even felt the heat through his skin whenever he gently took your hand – which, from this Christmas Day on, would happen increasingly often.

[katieelizabeth]

What would you call your body type? Definitely curvy

Are you a morning person? Yes and no. I’m taking sleep meds for nausea so right now waking up is kinda hard. 

Have you ever been to Target? Loveeeeee Target

Do you like iced tea? Iced tea is always my jam

When is the next time you’ll be at work? Hmm it’s kinda up in the air right now. I’m itching to get back tho.

Do you have a savings account? Yes. one for myself, one with my boyfriend

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Only once.

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? Currently grey

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Yes, I wanna say total like 6 times.

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? It absolutely does.

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? My boyfriend thinks I'm a terrible wrapper hahah

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes.

What would you say is your favorite television show? If I had to narrow it down, probably Skins. 

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Yes and no. I don’t care for holiday dinners with my family but I love holiday dinners with my boyfriends family. 

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? I’m not married or engaged but I do wear a small silver band on my ring finger.

What is one thing you desire as of now? To be able to just go and sit down in a restaurant. This virus has everyone living in fear and I'm tired of it and want to live normally and enjoy my pregnancy

What kind of phone do you have? An iPhone XR.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? Canada or London

Do you blog a lot, if at all? No not really. I used to when Xanga was big.

Is your present hair color, natural? Nope.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? My boyfriend thinks that anytime my opinion is different than his, then I'm trying to argue with him. It’s so fucking frustrating. 

Describe your current outfit? Anaheim Ducks shirt and matching pj pants hahah

What was the last thing you ordered online? Some toothbrushes lol

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Ive had two best friends in my life completely shut me out before. It sucks.

What color are your eyes? Poop brown

Have you ever worn color contacts? I have but I could never wear them because of the astigmatisms in both my eyes. Lasik was the best decision of my life

What’s the best thing about a hug? Right now I miss everything about hugs

Biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life....

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? Just celebrated three years

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yes.

Do you buy your friends gifts? I try to when I can 

What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone to the charger.

How old are you? 29

What color headphones do you own? They’re black.

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? No, just a reminder than I'm fat

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Amazon, Goodwill

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Necklaces

Do you consider yourself fortunate? Very

Do you enjoy watching fights? Nooo.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No way

Do you tend to talk badly about people? I try not to but everyone is guilty of that

Where are your parents as of now? Watching tv in the tv room

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? I literally just bought it so yes haha

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Kind of

When did you last go to a book store? Gosh it’s been a while!

What’s the closest book store where you live? Barnes & Noble.  

How much money do you have on you right now? On hand, $20.

Favorite personal feature? my hair and my lips

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Nope.

Favorite television channel? Bravo, E!, ID, HBO

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? 6 tattoos no piercings

Have you ever been fired from a job? INope

Are you currently losing a best friend? No.

Describe the worst day of your life: I’m good.

Do you play any video games? Not at the moment

Would you say you hate anyone? I feel hatred towards racists, homophobics, ect.

Do you think freckles are cute? Very cute!

Last time you went to the mall? Gosh its been a really long time

Name something that’s your favorite color: anything teal

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yesssss. I want seafood

Do you judge by appearances? Anyone who tells you they don't to some degree is a fucking liar.

Do you follow a certain religion? No thank you

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? Im not really sure

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair.

What are you most self conscious about? Pretty much my whole body

Do you have any family members who live out of town? Yeah.

Do you consider yourself short? Nope, I'm average height for a girl

What room are you in? Mine.

Hoodies or jackets? Hoodies.

Are you outside a lot? No not really. The sun doesn’t like my skin haha

Have you ever been dumped via text message? Nope

Do you like dreamcatchers? Not really

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t have one.

Do you hate repetitive people and things? Depends on the situation

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? BOTH

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? Nope, my mom wouldn't let me growing up

What movie scares you the most? The Exorcist. I can watch the movie now no problem but it FUCKED up my childhood.

What was your bedtime as a child? 9. I remember watching Happy Days from 8-9

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: Who doesn't love Christmastime?

Do you work with any close friends? I work with my baby daddy

Do you consider yourself spoiled? I would say in some way I'm probably spoiled

Do you listen to any country music? yes

Favorite high school teacher: I don’t specifically remember any high school teachers I liked. Probably my French teacher. He was super cool!

Do you ever get drunk? Of course. Can’t drink yet tho until after baby

Have you ever had highlights before? Nope

Favorite number: 7,10

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? Not anymore. I used to for a a long time 

 What is your biggest regret in life? Eh I've got a few

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? Depression/anxiety. Ive taken meds for it 

Are you normally an independent person? I like to think myself as independent but my boyfriend sure takes care of me. I dunno what id do without him

Do you have any paintings? a few

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? anything from the early 2000s haha

Do you like to be organized? Do I like it? Yes. Am I organized? NO

Have you ever failed a class before? oh yes

Ever been judged because of your weight? All the time. Not so much as an adult tho

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? The sugary bad ones, ha.

Ever had a wish come true? Nope

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No way

Do you own any coloring books? Yes haha those adult ones

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I can’t think of anything specific. Probably fat

Have you ever bullied someone? I likely have, unfortunately :(

Do you ever watch Lifetime? Only for the reality shows

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? God no

Do you own any brown clothing? Hmmm I don’t think so

What color are your walls painted? White.

Last thing you drank: I’m drinking decaf coffee 

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Noooo.

Do you have an inground pool at your house? Nope

What is the first digit of your phone number?  9

What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? Anywhere in England

Do you tend to sleep a lot? yes and no. I’m taking sleeping meds but it’s hard for me to fall asleep

Silver or gold jewelry? Silver

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? Not usually. My boyfriends family Is out of state tho

Have you ever been in love? Yes.

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? My unborn child

When was the last time you showered? Last night

Would you consider yourself attractive? Sometimes yes

Has anyone made you mad today? Nope

Favorite smell: Vanilla

Are you afraid of insects? I wouldn't say afraid

Do you have any children? I’ve got one cookin in the oven haha

If so, what are their names? I’ll tell you when I know the gender

Would ever consider having children in the future? MORE children? Lets see how traumatized this first one is haha

Have you ever lived on a farm? No.

Ever played any sports? Oh yes, played soccer till I was 18 

Do both of your parents have jobs? They're both retired from jobs they were at for 40+ years

Where is the best place you’ve been on vacation to? Its a tie between South Africa, London and Colorado

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? Not anymore. Being an adult means getting over that haha

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? I try to be

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? oh yes!

Do you like to make donations? Yeah.

What is your current ringtone? Just the standard apple ringtone

Meet anyone from your past lately? No.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? Not that I can think of

Ever been obsessed with a show? Ive been obsessed with many shows

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? English Laundry Signature

What’s the last book you read? The book that Ted Bundys girlfriend wrote

Dream career: Zooologist

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? Yes, in Colorado

At what age do you plan to get married? Not sure, we aren't in a rush to marry

Ever been in a car accident? Yes, three

[tommyplum]

- eggplant peach question mark  |  tommy/alfie, modern au    for @boundinshallows’ sholomons prompt fest 2019

Tommy is the manager at a liquor distribution outlet, Alfie is the co-owner of a microbrewery. Even with all that booze around they have slow days at work. Luckily, they’ve got their mobiles, and each other.

TXT: Alfie. I'm going out of my mind.

TXT: The temp agency sent me May Carleton of all people to cover for Lizzie while she's on hols and I suspect Lizzie knew beforehand because she's left five separate towers of ancient bills of lading to be entered into the system and filed away which is impossible

TXT: And all we've got open in the back liquor fridge is raspberry sour. 

TXT: Talk to me, Alfie, cheer me up. Tell me what you're wearing. 

TXT: No, tell me what you WISH you were wearing.

---

alfie

[TXT] And why is May Carleton such an affront, sweetie? Surely she’s as capable as that Lizzie of yours of rolling her eyes at you? 

[TXT] My day’s going swimmingly, thanks for asking. 

[TXT] And stay away from that bloody raspberry horror. You know what happened the last time you drank it, and I can’t get away today to fetch you out of trouble.

[TXT] But, since you’re curious, I’m wearing jeans and that leopard shirt that you hate.

[TXT] What I’d LIKE to be wearing though, is your mouth. How’s that?

---

tommy

TXT: Because, Alfie, the last time she temped here was at Christmastime and I went down on her in the supply closet. 

TXT: I mean 'affront' isn't the word I'd use, more like 'awkward reminder of why I don't drink alcopop anymore'

TXT: The point isn't May's capability, she's more than, it's that Lizzie purposely left her more work than is humanly possible and it's maybe entirely because she wanted to be able to report to the agency that May didn't do all the work she was left.

TXT: Or maybe I'm overthinking.

TXT: Swimmingly? As good as all that? Have you cracked the recipe for that new seasonal lager, then?

TXT: Too late. The raspberry doesn't go as well with tea as the caramel apple did, but it'll do in a pinch.

TXT: Any chance some terrible accident concerning a boiler and a thousand pounds of mash might happen to that leopard shirt? Preferably when you're not in it, but Alfie, I really do hate it so I'm not going to be picky

TXT: Ahhh. My Mr. Solomons is in that sort of a mood right now, is he.

TXT: If I were there with you, I'd be having you with my mouth. With your back pressed up against that machine that drops the hops into the vat. 

TXT: There's a machine like that, yes? Anyhow that's where you'd be, backed up against the hop machine. Jeans around your knees, watching me suck you down. 

TXT: I've changed my mind this raspberry tastes WONDERFUL with tea

---

alfie

[TXT] Oh, THAT May Carleton. Never cared for her.

[TXT] Hmph. Good on Lizzie, leaving her some work to keep her busy then.

[TXT] You? Overthinking, love? Perish the thought. 

[TXT] I was being facetious, Thomas my sweet. Ollie’s off on the sick and that seasonal lager still tastes like gingerbread piss.

[TXT] You are aware, love, that they’re not actually paying you to sample the goods, yeah? And I thought you were swearing off alcopop, lest you start sampling the help next.

[TXT] Thankfully no. It’s safe as houses right here on my back in the office. But your concern is noted and appreciated.

[TXT] Your Mr. Solomons is ALWAYS in that sort of a mood where you’re concerned, pet.

[TXT] That’s what I like to hear.

[TXT] Though you’re a bit more caught up in the machinery than I generally care for, Tommy. Focus, yeah?

[TXT] Right, that’s enough bloody raspberry. 

---

tommy

TXT: Because you're horrendously jealous. It was before you and I pinned things down, Alfie. I won't be getting distracted by the temp staff again. May's a good girl.

TXT: Besides which I sent her round a bottle of that Amarula stuff as sort of an apology afterwards and forgot to take off the sample tag so she's been slightly cold to me. 

TXT: If you called it Gingerbread Piss you'd be able to make a lot of money in a very specific market. Consider it, Alfie.

TXT: Nobody takes stock of what's open in the back cooler other than me, the manager, and therefore I, the manager, can drink whatever he damn well pleases. I'm not quite an alcoholic but I'm high-functioning and that's the important thing, isn't it.

TXT: My concern is that the leopard shirt go in the bin

TXT: Mmmm. Call me 'pet' again. 

TXT: All right, all right, you win -- raspberry tea poured down the bog where it belongs. Now to get back to me sucking your cock, Alfie, I'd cup your balls in my hand and slide my mouth all the way down while you watch. Are you watching, Alfie? You'd better be watching. I don't put on this kind of a show for just anybody.

---

alfie

[TXT] Oi, I’m not horrendously anything. I’m just the right and proper amount of jealous, as it happens, being your man.

[TXT] XD Well, that’s put her off, then. Even those pretty blue eyes of yours pale held up against a sample tag, love. You cheap little arsehole. xD I love it.

[TXT] A /very/ specific market. And not one I’m looking to court professionally.

[TXT] It is something, innit? Though that high functionality takes a bit of a turn depending on what you’re drinking, sweetie. 

[TXT] I see. Not for me at all, was it? In danger of industrial accidents? I’d no idea you were so shallow, Thomas.

[TXT] Pet. /My/ little pet, aren’t you?

[TXT] You’d better not. And believe me, love, I’m watching. Watching you look up at me through those long lovely eyelashes as I push my cock deeper into your mouth, making you glug a bit. You know that little noise you make… the one I like so much.

--- 

tommy

TXT: Yes, dear Alfie. You should indeed be afforded all the privileges that come with being my man, intense jealousy included.

TXT: I used to be better at this. Choosing apology gifts for poorly-planned sexual encounters, I mean. I'm losing my touch.

TXT: Is it terrible that the thought of that makes me sad? I hate losing skillsets, is all.

TXT: If I read into your specific wording of not wanting to court that market PROFESSIONALLY would you accuse me of overthinking again

TXT: or should I invest in some rubber sheets

TXT: I discovered one of those flash-in-the-pan bottles of low-calorie margarita and nobody will miss it. We should drink more margarita, you and I. It's so FESTIVE

TXT: You know precisely how shallow I am, because I've told you time and time again that I didn't listen to a word you said for at least two hours when we first met because all I did was stare at your lips.

TXT: Your little pet, Alfie. Collar me and put me on your leash.

TXT: Your belt will do, in a pinch, come to think of it. I've seen the state of your dog leads. They're not chew toys, you know.

TXT: I do know that noise you get out of me when you're pushing against my tongue with your big thick cock, Alfie, I do. I'm the one making it, aren't I?

TXT: glufrgh

TXT: like that

---

alfie

[TXT] Listen you, intensity is in the eye of the beholder, yeah? I’m no more jealous than I have right to be what with you sticking your tongue in the typing pool on occasion. A man likes to know that what’s his is HIS.

[TXT] Good. Lose it altogether, so far as I’m concerned. Though I can think of a very thoughtful list of gifts to be bought in case of blue balls, should you be in the market for one.

[TXT] I’m going to blame that little bout of ennui on the raspberry. For a piss-artist you really don’t waste any time going in for the maudlin, love.

[TXT] Rubber sheets might have all sorts of practical uses; who am I to say? I don’t run your household, Tommy sweetheart.

[TXT] Bring it back with you to mine tonight. I’ll cook and we’ll be properly festive, just how you want us to be.

[TXT] That’s right; you did! :D And I found that to be a very endearing admission on your part. Unsurprising, given that I am a glorious example of manhood, but endearing all the same.

[TXT] God, love, in a fucking HEARTBEAT.

[TXT] Alright, now, steady on, Cyril is just a natural chewer, yeah? And better he chew on his leads than your poncey little shoes, hm? He remembers how hurtful you got the last time. Don’t think he doesn’t.

[TXT] That noise loses a bit in the written word - but yeah, that’s it. That thick wet wonderful sound of you swallowing down all I’ve got to give you.

[TXT] But go on, what would you do next as I’m fucking that pretty face? Would you have your hand down your trousers, yet?

---

tommy

TXT: At this point in the narrative, Alfie, I'm all yours. Eye of the beholder and tongue from the typing pool and whatever other scattered body parts are making you fret.

TXT: That isn't a threat to leave me high and dry when it comes to sex, is it? Because we both know how well THAT sort of threat turns out.

TXT: I come from a long line of the maudlin and mawkish. Don't make me haul out family histories of who tumbled down wells accidentally-on-purpose and who drank themselves to death in front of the homestead hearth. It's my HERITAGE, Alfie. 

TXT: Continue being mean to me and I'll find me a well and boot myself down it. See if I don't.

TXT: Melodramatic announcements also run in the family. Heritage!!

TXT: Also for God's sake Alfie be direct for once, eh? Here I'll make it easy: DO YOU WANT TO PISS IN MY MOUTH

TXT: That would btw go down better than this low-cal margarita. I'm getting a bottle of the good stuff to bring round to yours and we can be just how I want us to be with it.

TXT: I made it up to Cyril, didn't I? Took him for his walks for a sodding fortnight in the worst of the October rain. And I've got nothing against natural chewers seeing as you, my darling glorious example of manhood, share that trait with your mutt.

TXT: Hand down my trousers, yeah. Prick already hard, Alfie, from the time I first got my lips wrapped around you. Making whatever noises you want me to make, all of them for you. 

TXT: Want you to cum down my throat so I can taste you for hours after. Sometimes I think I can taste your cum for days, you know. Makes for a strange experience when Ada pops round with new baking and wants my opinion on how her mini cupcakes taste.

TXT: "Like Alfie's spunk, Ada. And white chocolate."

---

alfie

[TXT] Who’s fretting? And was that so bloody hard? It’s hardly my fault that I love you, you bleeding pillock.

[TXT] Sweetie, I would /never/ threaten you with a lack of sex. I mean, let’s be reasonable, yeah? /You’re/ the one who’s basically a human-shaped cat, I’m just looking out for my own lonely interests.

[TXT] Oh yes, here we go, it’s Dylan Thomas and the Shelbys all over again, raging against the dying of the bloody light and taking their sweet sodding time doing it.

[TXT] Mean?! I’m not being mean to you, my sweet lovely boy - bite that forked tongue of yours. This is /teasing/, pet. Because your plaits are the most fun to pull. <3

[TXT] And as far as pissing in your mouth goes, I can’t say as the thought’s never crossed my mind. Have YOU ever considered it? Since you’re the one what brought it up and all. Or is it only the pish of gingerbread men that turns you on, lover?

[TXT] You’re already bloody into it? May’ll be having to pour you into a taxi before the afternoon’s out.

[TXT] But yeah, bring the good stuff. We’ll make a night of it. Just you, me, and the rubber sheets, eh?

[TXT] Seeing as you just called me your darling glorious example of manhood, and it’s made my cock just that little bit harder, I’m going to magnanimously forgive you for calling our boy a mutt.

[TXT] Christ, you know how to make me want you, Tommy. I want you here, on those bony knees of yours, right fucking now.

[TXT] Keep talking about my spunk and how much you love to taste it. You’ll be having it soon enough. Long before your next margarita, my love.

---

tommy

TXT: "I love you, you bleeding pillock". Missed your calling writing Valentine's cards, sunshine.

TXT: I believe these days instead of human shaped cat we're going with bisexual, Alfie. And if you want me to stop being dreary then don't, for the love of God, tell me that you're lonely. It breaks my heart.

TXT: Don't even tease about it. Do you hear me? 

TXT: Dip my plaits in ink all you want but never that. I couldn't take it. I do love you, you bleeding pillock. Diversions into supply closets and over-imbibing of suspiciously saccharine drinks notwithstanding.

TXT: And now that we've gotten THAT out of the way, as regards my drinking your piss: I'm considering it NOW, isn't that enough? You're basically a big fucking gingerbread man yourself, Alfie, I don't see a problem

TXT: I'm stopping. I want to be sober enough to get drunk with you.

TXT: Ah, that's how it works, is it? I appeal to your vanity and you forgive me even for slandering our dog? Powerful intel to have, Mr. Solomons. You may live to regret handing me the reins.

TXT: Good, yes, that's how I want you to think of me, down on my knees for you, Alfie, I always am. Even when we're just talking or fucking texting or standing next to each other in the loo cleaning our teeth and eyefucking each other in the mirror. Know that from now on, Alfie: I'm always on my knees.

TXT: Right where I can keep control of you.

TXT: I'm going to suck you off the minute I walk through that door. 

---

alfie

[TXT] You’re not a hearts and flowers sort of lad though, are you, my sweet?

[TXT] I’m sorry, pet. I’m not really lonely. Hand on heart, yeah? No teasing at all. I’ve got you, and I know it. No matter how I natter on.

[TXT] Because I do love you too, Tommy.

[TXT] And now I’m left to wonder just what exactly it is that makes me a gingerbread man - and, piss notwithstanding - if that status has any impact on your addictive behaviour toward my semen? Am I sweeter than most, love? Tell me I’m the sweetest you’ve ever had. ;)

[TXT] Good. On both counts.

[TXT] As it happens, being on the receiving end of some decidedly saucy texts from my sweetheart has put me in a rather good mood. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a given, but I think today it’s enough to leave me in a forgiving sort of mindset.

[TXT] Christ. That’s it. I’m calling it. We’re done for the day.

[TXT] Gather ye margaritas while ye may, mate, because I’m coming to pick you up. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

[TXT] I’m feeling a bit out of control. 

---

tommy

TXT: You've rumbled me there. I'm more of a gin and handjobs sort of lad. 

TXT: Good. You bloody better well HAD know it, that you've got me, because I've already cut the tag off you and I won't return you. 

TXT: Well, you're a gingerbread man because you've got beady eyes and a gumdrop for a mouth and a great big round head, don't you? 

TXT: And you're sweeter than any other I've ever tasted, Alfie, the sweetest of them all. Ask me to be mirror mirror any time and I'll tell you, whenever you like.

[ no reply for about fifteen minutes ]

TXT: I've scored two bottles and given May instructions on closing up and she seems relieved to be rid of me. Come and get me and we'll stop for rubber sheets along the way.

TXT: Don't you worry, Alfie. I've got all the control you'll need.

/end

[lovemesomesurveys]

o1. With which one of your friends do you spend the most time? With which friend do you spend the least amount of time? Would you like to change this in any way? --

o2. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? Alaska, Florida, Hawaii, and New York. Sweden, Italy, UK, and Greece.

o3. If you have one, how often do you watch your favorite television show? How long has this show been your favorite? I have several favorite TV Shows and rewatch a lot of them.

o4. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females ( think hypothetically if you don't have one )? Why or why not? No. I mean, unless they were just going around hugging all the girls all the time or was flirty with them as well then nah I don’t care.

o5. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? It doesn’t snow here, but I wish it did. I’ve only experienced it less than a handful of times while at other places and enjoyed it. I’d love to experience it during Christmastime. I’m actually trying to convince my family to spend Christmas in a cabin this year somewhere where it snows.

o6. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? I do know people who do hard drugs and some were friends.

o7. When was the last time that you were afraid for your life? Did this incident change you in any way? I mean, it’s something I am worried about because of some health things.

o8. Do you enjoy taking pictures? Is it just for fun, or do you make an attempt at actual photography? I like taking pictures of certain things, especially if I’m on vacation or somewhere I feel is worthy of taking photos of. And of my doggo, of course. I don’t have an interest in pursuing photography or anything, though. 

o9. Have you ever had low self-esteem? How is your self-esteem now? I’ve struggled with that since I was about 12 years old. I’d say it’s the worst it has ever been the past few years.

o1o. When you see someone sickly-thin, what is your first thought? I’m very likely considered to be “sickly-thin” myself. Admittedly, when I’ve seen someone really thin the thought has crossed my mind that maybe they were sick or were anorexic. I understand that isn’t always the case, though.

o11. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? Yes. They’re not the most pleasant place to be and can be very stressful or scary. Having to stay in one isn’t fun.

o12. What did you dress up as the last time you went Trick-or-Treating? Who went with you? I don’t remember.

o13. What is one thing you miss most from your childhood? What do you miss the least? Just being a kid, honestly. I could just play Barbies and watch cartoons all day, it was great. I don’t miss the many doctor appointments I had or the surgeries and long hospital stays.

o14. What would be the biggest challenge involved in raising a child at your age? >> It's not my age that would be the challenge... <<< Yeah for real, it’s the other shit I’m going through/dealing with. I’m trying to take care of myself and not doing very great at it as it is.

o15. If you happened to get pregnant before you were ready for children, how would you cope? Do you think your parents would support you and help you out? I don’t want to have children and I can’t get pregnant anyway, so there’s not an issue.

o16. Have you ever had unprotected sex? What would you tell a young teen thinking about having unprotected sex? No. Or sex at all. If they asked me for advice, I’d try to advise them not to have sex yet, but knowing they might still do so anyway I’d encourage them to be safe and inform them what could happen if they decide to go through with it.

o17. What are some gender double-standards anger you? Double standards suck.

o18. Other than the usual qualities ( honesty, respect, etc ), what are some attributes you want your BF/GF to possess? Patience and understanding are two very important ones for me.

o19. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? Nope.

o2o. Five years ago, what was the most important thing in your life? How about the most important person? Hmm. I was still going through a rough time then. The most important people in my life are always my family.                                      

21. How would you describe your sexuality? Have you ever wondered whether or not you might be homo/bisexual? I’m straight and no.

o22. Do you think that homosexual couples should be able to raise or adopt children? Why or why not? Yes. If willing, wanting, and loving people want to take care of a child they should be able to regardless of their sexuality. 

o23. Think of your worst fear. What would you do if you were confronted with it right now? I would be completely devastated and broken.

o24. If you were to become a vegetarian, what meat-product would you miss the most? Have you ever been or wanted to be a vegetarian? Wingstop’s boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings and also chicken tenders in general. No, I’ve never been a vegetarian. 

o25. Do you think that someone's sexuality is something that they can control? No.

o26. What do you like most about your favorite animal? Doggos and giraffes are just awesome.

o27. What is your favorite way to eat your favorite food? How often do you eat your favorite food item? I have a few favorite foods that I eat all the time. I just go through a cycle of eating those same few foods. I’m so picky and particular about what I eat and how I eat it.

o28. What is something you are craving? Will this craving be satisfied? I’m currently needing coffee and something to eat, which I’ll have in a bit.

o29. What is the largest number of texts you have sent in a day? Do you often text this much? I have no idea. I don’t text much anymore.

o3o. Do you like the holiday season? Why or why not? What could be better about it? I love the holiday season, it’s my favorite time of year. 

[doux-amer]

Thoughts on the different boroughs of nyc? Thoughts on christmas movies? Thoughts on into the spiderverse??

Oops. I rambled on in my response to the first question so I put that under a cut, and I’ll answer the next two here:

Christmas movies - I don’t have a strong feeling about them either way? I don’t hate them, but I don’t love them either although I guess around Christmastime, I do want to put on a Christmas movie and get in the mood. I have some favorites. Also, you need to include one or two movies at the very least that take place during or mention Christmas but don’t actually have anything to do with the holiday in your top Christmas movies list or else it’s invalid. Like…Die Hard (which I haven’t watched to this day. SORRY. I’m lazy)? Iron Man 3? KKBB? Something? 

Into the Spider-verse - SO GOOD. I’ve been waiting for it to come out ever since they released the trailer because I’ve never seen animation so fresh, innovative, and fun before. I love how much they pushed the boundaries and went to new places animation-wise, I loveeee the character designs, I love the colors, I love everything. I’m so happy we got a Miles movie because I wanted Miles to be in a movie and well, I wanted him to be in the MCU because did we need another white Peter Parker? NO. We literally had 3 in the past 15 years. At least make him not white. He’s not representative of a nerd from Queens anymore. Anyway. Miles. MY SON(SHINE). HE CAN BE FULL-OUT AFROLATINO? Not just black? Like????? AFROLATINOS EXIST. LOVE THAT REP. LOVE HIS PARENTS. His dad is a big goof and embarrasses his son, but I love that he can show feelings and cry. And I was ambivalent about Gwen showing up, but I loved her!! She felt like a real girl (ugh sorry, I have :/ feelings about Spider Gwen as a concept and I was afraid she’d be written in a “what a man thinks is a cool but relatable girl” way). I love the other spiders. I can’t believe I finally care about Peter Parker, but I got emo over blondie (did you know he was nicknamed RIPeter by the art team lol?) dying and I was so fond of Peanut Butter Parker. I mean, Peter B. Parker. But uh….I have a hugeee soft spot for reluctant mentor/dad/older brother figures who take young kids under their wing especially if they’re hot messes so this was a very unsurprising turn of events. REALLY enjoyed Doc Ock and Kingpin which is not…something I expected. I liked Spider Ham too which…same thing. I never cared for him before. I didn’t care for Peni Parker the way she was depicted in the movie. :////// Yay, Asian/anime stereotypes. Yikes. :/// She’s not even like that in the comics so it’s a puzzling decision. I’m looking forward to the trailer. OH, UNCLE AARON. :( Um. The music! SO GODDAMN GOOD OH MY GOD. The post-credits scene which made me laugh out loud, but this entire movie made me laugh out loud which is rare. Cute, heartfelt, and just. THE ANIMATION IS SO GODDAMN GOOD. I’M LOSING MY MIND.

Boroughs under the cut:

Bronx - no one goes to the Bronx if they’re not from the Bronx unless they’re going to the zoo or Yankee Stadium, they work in the food/produce business, or want seafood in the boroughs. Also, the Bronx has gotten safer over the past few decades, but to be honest, one of the first things that’ll come to a native’s mind when they think of the Bronx aside from the zoo and the Yankees is crime/safety lol. :x Like…all us kids who grew up in the boroughs, especially before the 2000s/2010s (idk what Gen Z kids think of the Bronx? But this is 100% the case with older generations) think of it as the dangerous/shady borough if we had to pick one. But idk, mainly you think of it as that borough that’s far away that you don’t go to except for the reasons stated above and I’m like, “Oh yeah, I know a bunch of people who live/grew up/work there.”

Brooklyn - Damn, I don’t remember what my thoughts on Brooklyn were as a kid because now it’s like “GENTRIFICATION!!!! GENTRIFICATION!!! HIPSTERS! WHITE PEOPLE DISPLACING EVERYONE!” The place where everyone in their 20s live when they move here or move out of their parents’ house. Where the parties are at, I guess, except I don’t go. That or “the place where all my friends who are POC are from if they’re not from Queens” lol. I get too lazy to go deep into Brooklyn, but there are some good places to go to! I just haven’t explored it much. Oh, Steve Rogers now. That’s been a thing for years because I’m Steve trash. :))))

Manhattan - Dirty, stinky, nasty, and rat- and pigeon-infested, but it’s home. So much stuff to do, see, and go to! So many great restaurants! So many museums! If you’re a cinephile and bookworm, you’re happy. Whatever you’re in the mood for, there’ll always be a place that’ll fit your mood. Peaceful, airy areas? Busy, lively ones? Historic places? Skyscrapers everywhere? Every neighborhood has its own personality. I lovelovelove all the architecture. It tells the history of the city, and there are just all these different styles from different eras next to each other. Every time I leave, I’m wowed by how quiet and chill it is and don’t miss it and then I come back, as soon as I see a glimpse of the city or I set foot in it, I’m like “OH MY GOD???? I MISSED YOU.” There are a few things that I think of when I think of what the city means to me, and this is one of them; it captures the essence of what it means and feels like to be a New Yorker (and I’m not afraid to admit that I cried reading it, but that might also have been because I read it on 9/11 a few years back and yesyesyes, it explains everything).

Queens - Home! Birthplace. HM OKAY, I’M REVEALING TOO MUCH. But yes, this is absolutely unsurprising considering I’m Asian lmao. Where the Asians are at. Where the best Asian food is at because eh lol Manhattan’s food ranges from whatever to good with some stellar restaurants, but there’s a plethora of cheap authentic eats in Queens. White Peter Parker makes me mad as a Queens native even if it makes sense for Forest Hills fdofidhfioshf. I ranted about it a few years ago on here along with some facts about Queens’s diversity because fun fact: it’s the most diverse place in the world per capita!!! You have no idea how many non-English speakers Queens has and the sheer number of foreign languages represented here. The number of immigrants!!!! “UGLY” BUT I LOVE IT BECAUSE THAT MEANS TRANSPLANTS FORGET QUEENS EXISTS AND I’D LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY (also, transplants have weird thoughts about Queens unless they’re Asian themselves and sometimes even if they are). GET AWAY. I’m mad about Amazon. GTFO. 

Staten Island - dumpster of NY. That’s legit the first thing that pops into any New Yorker’s mind both in a literal and figurative sense because that’s literally where the world’s largest landfill was located until several years ago. Figurative because uh…sorry, but who goes to Staten Island? I try not to go there and I don’t even remember the times I’ve been there. People who live there know Staten Island is trash lmao. Also, this is the whitest borough and I mean that literally too. Also the borough that votes Republican all the goddamn time and voted for Trump although we switched it to blue during the midterms (wow????). FEHIFHWOHFIWEA everyone from the other boroughs looks down on Staten Island a lot and that’s nevah gonna change!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #289

“life by life / waste to waste / i’m the harbinger, the master of decay”

How often do you watch the news? Never. Would you rather read the news online? Yeah. Speaking of being online, what website do you visit the most? YouTube. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty. Ever caught a turtle? What about a crawfish? Turtles, yes, as a kid. Please do not take animals out of the wild for no good reason, people. I never touched crawfish because they looked scary lmao. Have you ever eaten gumbo? Idk what that is. Or do you not like spicy food? I enjoy spicy food, but not nearly as much as when I was a teen. Back then, I loved the adrenaline rush, now I just wanna enjoy my food like a normal person, lol. Do you own a bottle of hand sanitizer? Do you like how it smells? Does anyone NOT at this time? Or even before, really? But anyway, no, I don't like the smell. Do you own a pool table? What about an air hockey table? Or a foosball table? Okay so one of the coolest things we had when I was younger was this table that had different "tops" to change out to turn it into various games like these. Like, it was all in one. I don't THINK we still have it? Do you live with your parents? Are you cool with that? I live with my mom, and right now, it's the better idea for many reasons. I feel like shit about it, though. I'm nearly 25. Even if I was financially independent though, I would not be able to handle living all alone with my depression and all. When did/when do you want to move out? Hopefully when I have a stable job and long-term relationship. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Are you better at catching or throwing? Probably throwing. I can't catch for shit. Do you ever play computer games? Just WoW nowadays. Did you used to have a lunchbox? Yeah, I went through a few. How often do you/did you bring your lunch to school? Whenever I didn't like what was on the menu. And mind you, I was and still am very picky. What was/is your favorite school lunch? I think the chicken sandwiches. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind of hat was it? Oh yikes, who on Earth knows. It has to have been years. Maybe a Carolina Hurricanes one to a hockey game I went to with Dad. I don't really wear hats. Have you ever tried to ghost hunt? If so, did you catch anything? No. Do you prefer gold or silver? What about diamonds or pearls? Earrings or bracelets? Necklace or rings? Or are you not a jewelry person? Gold; diamonds; earrings; rings (I think). I don't care all that much about jewelry, though. Have you ever made jewelry? Not really, just kiddy crafts stuff. Do you have any unique hobbies? Meerkat RP. Have you ever broken a window? If so, what with? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had surgery? If so, what on? Yeah. I had tubes put in my ears as a kid, and I had a cyst removed from... directly above my ass lmaoooo. Pilonidal cysts are awesome. Do you know any boys named Ashley or Lesley or Lynn? I don't believe so. Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate, for sure. Do you like green tea? Tea is gross. Do you like to play Freecell? What about Hearts? Or Mahjong? I only know Mahjong, and I've never played that. I used to watch Mom play it on the computer as a kid, though. Idr the rules. Does your family own guns? No. Have you ever been given flowers? Were they from a relative or someone special? Both. Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle? No, and I doubt I will. I'm not like... really scared of them, as a matter of fact they seem really fun, they're just too risky for my liking. Have you ever seen a dead body? At an open-casket wake, yes. What does your umbrella look like? It's just an ordinary black one. Is anyone you know pregnant? HOLY FUCK, I think 90% of my Facebook friends are preggo. It seems like EVERYONE is expecting. Ha, one of my closest friends is legit pregnant with triplets after JUST having a son... She's in for a ride. Does your family do reunion gatherings? No, we're too spread out. What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A strawberry sangria sounds pretty great. When was the last time you had a first kiss? I'm guessing you mean like, my first kiss with the last person I was with? A few summers ago when we were out on the porch making s'mores and dancing like some cheesy fucks lmao. How many homes have you ever lived in? If you don't count the apartment I wasn't an official resident of or staying with a friend for a month due to homelessness, we just moved into our fifth. Or sixth. It's too early when I'm taking this for math. Have you ever donated money to charity? Yeah. What’s your favourite type of exercise? Swimming. How many jobs have you had? Three or four... I'm not even sure because they were so incredibly short because fuck me and my anxiety, right? Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. Write the first song that pops into your head: Well, I'm listening to "Freak On a Leash" right now. Has anything interesting come for you in the mail lately, besides bills? Nah. What is your main responsibility each day? Making sure my cat has food, water, and a clean litterbox. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. I've slacked on the box before on bad mental health days where I can barely force myself to do anything, but I'm usually on top of it. Were you in the wrong during your last argument with someone? I don't recall what my last argument was. I think something w/ Mom. What bands did you used to love, that you don’t listen to much anymore? Hm. It's pretty rare I leave behind bands I've LOVED, so. Are you counting down to anything? tomorrow crihmus When was the last time you used spray paint? Oh, I have no idea. Maybe for an art project in HS? What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? Brown. Have you ever or do you plan on donating to any charities? Which ones? I've donated to some you would like pass by in the store if I had some spare coins or dollars on me, and when I cut my hair to as short as it is now, I donated it all to Children With Hair Loss. One of my most cherished memories is getting the certificate that it was used. I'm sure there's more, especially for school, but idr them. I 110% want to donate to charity streams when I have my own income source. Do you believe that life only gets harder or easier? I mean, this depends on your unique life. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Hm. I don't think Girt has a middle name, and I don't think Tyler ever told me because he was embarrassed by it. I know Sara's. Have you ever had sex with 2 different people in the same week? No. Who is the friendliest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Last song you listened to? "Milk and Cookies" by Melanie Martinez is on rn. Something that annoys you about summer: Just ONE thing???? Just about everything does. The only thing I enjoy is all the flowers. Well hell, that's even mostly a spring thing. It's mostly just... plain green in the summer. At least here. Too hot for damn flowers to survive. Something that annoys you about winter: The fact that if it snows here, we get barely anything at all. e_e Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side by side. When was the last time you burned a body part other than your hands/fingers? I actually just burned the roof of my mouth yesterday. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. What’s one food that you eat more than twice a week? Definitely some form of bread. Do you like zombie movies? No opinion, really. What's the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? UGH. This one time I was in the bathroom with Colleen (it's a girl thing lmao) at a gas station, she did what she normally does and checks under the seat, aND IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. It was fucking disgusting. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? Ugh... use plastic bags when disposing of Roman's "business" in the litterbox. I feel absolutely awful using one every other day. If I wait any longer than that, Mom gets mad. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? Probably to Jason via that letter. That honestly wasn't that difficult after having fully accepted I fucked up too, though. I don't generally find it hard to apologize when I know I was wrong. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? Fuck no. They depress the hell out of me. What was your worst Halloween costume? Idk, I don't remember almost any of mine. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? When I checked into the doctor by myself. Yes, I know how sad that is at nearly 25. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? As a kid, there was just one where I was disappointed in what I got. SO fucking ungrateful looking back on that shit. I can't even imagine feeling anything like that now. I cherish Christmas deeply, especially now with nieces and a nephew who experience such joy at Christmastime, and I get to see my dad and his wife and stepson, too. At this age, it truly is about family to me. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? I think we may have some princess ones and some "boy" kind for if the kids are ever over. AKA never because their dad is far more concerned about only including his family in their lives. I don't think Ryder's ever even visited our house, and he's like, four years old. My sister's husband's parents live directly down their road, but still. It hurts Mom and I a lot that we don't seem to matter when it comes to visiting *us*. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yeah, plenty of times with our old cat nest. What's the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? I dunno, probably something at Disney as a kid. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah. I had my "good guys" - a family of alligators, deer (um they were married and had kids don't ask me, man), and some Pokemon figurines - and three big dinos that were the "bad guys." How do you feel about runny egg yolks? Egg yolk is fucking repulsive. The one and only way it's going down my throat is in scrambled eggs. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Not that I remember. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? I dunno, I have so few already... Maybe World of Warcraft? I almost quit it recently anyway because I was bored and yet it took up so much of my time, but it'd be hard now with a new expansion having just come out with soooo much to do. Man... I dunno. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No. How much do you know about first aid? No more than the average joe, really. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Sadly, probably my dad's oldest daughter. I know only two things about her with certainty. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yes, and all it does is make me fidgety and lets me think too much. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Hm... maybe when I was at a beach when I was on vacation with a friend? I was like, a pre-teen then though, so it's been forever. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? Not that I'm aware of. And honestly, I have mixed feelings, but I think I lean more towards it being just fine so long as boundaries are set and there are very clear understandings with each other. And you ABSOLUTELY need to be safe about it. I'd far rather people get off with a consenting individual than in... y'know, other ways. It's not my business, anyway. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? In high school, I did a huge acrylic painting on burlap of meerkats grooming. I am to this day still so proud of it; I worked so hard on it. I love how the fur came out, especially. I do wish I could do over the background, though. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Excluding the obvious birds, there are tons of squirrels, and you see opossum and racoon roadkill a lot, tragically... Every now and then, you'll see deer in fields in the morning or dusk. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, hot dog.s Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? I'm positive there's something. Probably everyone has an example. OH! Looking in just my room, Venus' terrarium has saran wrap covering the top to help keep humidity in. What do you hope the afterlife is like? Really, I go back and forth between hoping it's like... this state of nirvana and where you reunite with loved ones and experience infinite peace if deserved, or just the entire lack of existence anymore. I wonder sometimes if I'd want to be sentient forever. But, with me believing in a spirit realm, I don't think the latter is the case. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I think I once saw a kid smack their parent's arm or something? I don't really know. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? "No, but i daydream about it." <<<< Ha, yeah, I have. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Yeah. Mom surprised me when she told me she likes writing (even though I never see her do it), and Dad likes video games. Do you have any physical photo albums? Yes. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? NOPE. Who was the worst friend you ever had? It's funny, Colleen did incredible things for me, but she also fits this description, too... Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? I mean, I voted, does that count? What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? I have no idea. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Dad got along perfectly fine with his parents, but my mom and her mother had a rocky history. Grammy treated her awfully sometimes. They'd been fine for many, many years, but Mom could never forget some things and always felt like she wasn't "good enough" in her eyes. I'm pretty sure Mom got along just fine with her dad. Do you have any framed photos of your pet(s)? Yes. Do you share photos of your pet(s) on social media? Um, duh. In 3 words, describe the last male you talked to. Who WAS the last guy I talked to... Do you own any of your favorite films on DVD? Which one(s)? No. Have you watched anything on Netflix lately? No. The last thing I did on Netflix was watch the first episode of The Witcher, and even though I liked it, I didn't continue. I just... don't enjoy watching TV, especially if it really requires you to pay attention. Have you ever heard someone snoring and thought it sounded cute? Besides animals, no. Are you particular about what you eat? In what way(s)? Yeah, I'm VERY picky, especially with textures. Is anyone close to you particular about what they eat? In what way(s)? Yes, my niece. She's autistic and has the symptom of being incredibly picky with things like textures, too. She is the one child I have ever known that doesn't really like eating. Is there someone in your life who can always make you smile? Always, no. Have you worn lipstick at any time recently? What color? No. I last wore black forever ago just to take pictures. Do you like wearing eyeshadow to match the color of your clothes? No; in the very rare instance I put on makeup, the eyeshadow is always black. What song reminds you of your childhood? Jesse McCartney songs, for sure. And Backstreet Boys. What’s your least favorite month? Maybe August. I'm sick and beyond tired of summer by that point. Nothing exciting going on. What do you do when you’re bored in class and not paying attention to the teacher? When I was in school, I honestly always paid attention because I wanted to pass. Have you ever baked a pie? No. Last person you shared food with? Mom. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Definitely not. Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? I don't think so, if that witchy photoshoot was the last time I had a pic taken of me. Do you answer the phones at your job? I did at two old jobs. Were you a hyper or mellow kid? I was kinda hyper. What are you drinking? Would you believe me if I answered "water"????? Did you get any compliments today? No. What last made you laugh? I think a moment in a WoW stream I was watching last night. Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to? Sara. What was your best summer ever? /shrug Do you have a favourite sibling? No. What color is the blanket/quilt on your bed? Navy and black. Favorite milkshake flavour? Just chocolate. Sometimes I'm in the mood for vanilla, though. Best year of your life? 2017. It's funny how that year started with a suicide attempt but wound up being the best year of my life. NEVER hestitate to reach out for help when you need it. How loud do you like your music in the car? Too loud lmao. Prefer to write or read? Write. Favourite apps? Pokemon GO, haha. What is a fruit you refuse to eat? Absolutely refuse? Maybe like, cantaloupe. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? It'd to fuckin fantastic if I could lose 100 pounds. :^) I gained like thirty since moving... Would you rather gain height or lose height? Gain a tiny bit, I guess? But I'm fine with where I'm at. Are both your eyes the same color? Yes. Do you like glittery things? Yes, but not touching them and getting glitter everywhere. Ever watched a play in the theatre? Yes, at Disney World and also for school field trips. How many followers do you have on instagram? A depressing amount for someone desperately trying to be a photographer lmaooo. I mean I don't post on it a lot, so that doesn't help, but yeah. My secondary photography account (for roadkill/vulture culture stuff) has more than my main one. How about twitter? Don't use it. How much would I have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? I don't know, I'd be terrified of embarrassing myself. Last time you went ice skating? Never. Painting or drawing? Drawing, by far. Art or science? Now that's tough, but art. Dancing or singing? Dancing. History or geography? Geography is interesting. Favourite season? Autumn. Do you watch Supernatural? I did up to the end of Season 6. I loved it, I just was losing interest in TV, and also Jason and I broke up (we always watched it together) so I didn't want to watch something triggering memories. If you could change your eye color would you? Yes, to either a pure sapphire blue or emerald green. Are both your ears pierced? Yes. Are you lying down? Yes. Is there a tv in your room? No. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Yeah. Do you like fortune cookies? Yeah, they're oddly tasty. Do you have anxiety? You fuckin bet I do. Favorite clothing shop? RebelsMarket. How do you feel about peeing in a cup at the hospital? Is it embarrassing? No? It's too normal to be embarrassing. I mean I wrap toilet paper around it so you don't actually see, y'know, but I'm not embarrassed carrying that. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? Fruit, by a long shot. What do you hate being called? "Bee." An old best friend who did nothing but lie about her entire life called me that. What color is the last car you were in? White. Ever studied abroad? No. Ever pulled out a tooth? Yeah, when I was a kid. Three celebrity crushes? Mark Fischbach, Link Neal, Hannah Hart. Ever been married? No. Are you proud of yourself? In most ways, no. Do you like grapes? Yep. How often do you cook for your family? Never. Is anyone in your family a lawyer? My cousin is, actually. Is anyone in your family an architect? Don't think so. Own any crystals? No. Favourite thing to write with? (pen, pencil, highlighter) Pencil. Top 5 favourite alcoholic drinks? I don't know, I haven't tried enough that I actually enjoy. Would you date someone bald? Yeah. Would you date someone who doesn’t want kids? I don't want kids either, so that's the only kind of person I'd date. That's something you can't really disagree on if you plan on lasting. Do you like candles? Sure. Favorite memory with a sibling? I dunno, probably something from when we were little kids playing together.

[forzalando]

Wedding Plans ~ Fred Weasley

OH GOD OH GOD I CRIED THE WHOLE TIME I WROTE THIS. thank you to @potter-harryjames for proofreading and telling me what she thought because I was nervous to post this. I hope you all love this as much as I do, it was so cathartic writing this like y’all don’t even know.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Requested: no, I just like to torture myself

Y/N: Your Name

Warnings: sUPER MEGA FRED FLUFF, mentions of d*ath, mild language (i think just h*ll, sh*t, and d*mn)

Word Count: 2.5k

P.S. there are time skips and they are indicated by a break! also please let me know what you think! i love feedback, whether you say something in a reblog, message me, or comment! i love you all :) 

As sweat dripped from your forehead while you worked in the yard, you cursed the season of summer. It was the end of July, and the blistering heat was definitely getting to you.

“Fred, can we please take a break?”

“Bloody hell, yes, I thought you’d never ask.”

“Me? I was waiting for you to ask! I thought you wanted to have everything finished before your Mum came home so she wouldn’t be too upset that you and George ate all of her baking!”

“Well I did, but it’s so damn hot out I don’t even care anymore. I’m so glad we live above the shop and don’t have a yard to deal with.”

“Tell me about it. I can’t believe your brother wanted a summer wedding and now we are stuck making sure the yard looks perfect for his bloody ceremony.”

Fred threw an arm around your shoulders as you walked into the Burrow to grab drinks and relax. He poured you a glass of lemonade, sat down, and then pulled you onto his lap.

“We definitely won’t have a summer wedding. I think May is a nice month, don’t you?”

“I always thought a May wedding would be nice…” you said confusedly as you turned to look at your smiling boyfriend.

“Brilliant, me too, darling. May 2nd sounds perfect to me.”

You had to admit, it was an absolutely perfect day for a wedding, even if you preferred late spring weddings. You had almost torn your hair out due to stress, but everything was worth it when the tent was up and when you saw the looks of pure bliss on Bill and Fleur’s faces when they were finally pronounced husband and wife.

You sat in a chair as the reception began with a dreamy look on your face, when suddenly you were pulled from your seated position and tugged towards the dancefloor.

“I didn’t know you wanted to dance with me, Fred,” you giggled as he swayed back and forth.

“You look absolutely breathtaking, my love, of course I want to dance with you; but first I had to escape the clutches of my relatives.”

“How’s Aunt Muriel? I see she left you a little lipstick stain on your cheek.”

You quickly wiped the bright red stain off of his skin and replaced it with a light pink mark that matched your own lipstick.

“There, that’s better. Now all of Fleur’s Veela cousins will know that you’re taken by me.”

Fred chuckled at your statement and leaned in to leave a quick but passionate kiss upon your lips.

“That was just in case there were any blokes out there who might have thought about asking you to dance.”

A comfortable silence settled over the two of you as you rested your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around his middle.

“Y/N, when we get married, promise me it won’t be this big of a fuss. I just want my brothers, Ginny, your sister, and my Mum and Dad. Is that alright?”

You sighed contentedly and answered him.

“Of course, Fred, whatever you want.”

“Wicked.”

“Y/N? Does your sister still hate George?”

You let out a bark of laughter at his incredulous question.

“No, she doesn’t hate your brother! She used to have a massive crush on him, that’s why she was always so mean to him during school!”

“Oh…how did I not notice that? Does she still like him?”

“Fred, she’s been dating Seamus Finnegan for a year now! I swear I’ve told you that before.”

“Right, sorry, I just thought it would be weird if the best man and maid of honor couldn’t stand each other so I had to check.”

You rolled your eyes at him and mumbled “alright, Fred” before going back to folding laundry.

“Hey love? Peonies are your favorite flower right?” Fred shouted from the kitchen.

You walked in to find him writing a letter home to his parents and you chuckled as he stood with a puzzled look on his face; worried that after almost six years together he couldn’t remember your favorite flower.

“Yes, Freddie, peonies are my favorite, but it’s October, love, they’re not exactly in season. They’re a late spring, very early summer flower.”

“I know but I want Mum to plant a bunch and apparently you’re supposed to plant them in early October.”

“What do you want peonies for, love?”

“I don’t want them, but we’re going to need them sooner or later so I figure Mum might want to make sure she has lots and lots of good ones for our wed…”

“Frederick Weasley, what sort of game do you think you’re playing? Your mother is worried sick about her two youngest children and you want her to plant flowers for me as some romantic gesture?”

“No game, sweetheart, Mum has been gardening and knitting a lot to pass the time since she’s so worried about Ron and Ginny. I was just politely asking her to plant your favorite flower.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, and he gulped.

“Besides, if I was planning a big romantic gesture for you, it would involve fireworks and chocolate and your favorite cake and – “

“Why don’t you just show me a big romantic gesture in the bedroom? Right now?”

“I think I can do that!”

And with that, all talk of peonies and romantic gestures ceased to exist for the time being.

It was Christmastime at the Burrow, but it definitely didn’t feel that way. The atmosphere was far from joyful; Molly spent most of her time in her room so that no one would see her cry, and the fake smile that adorned her face when she came out broke your heart into pieces. You and Fred had spent the past few weeks at his childhood home to help Molly and Arthur during this despondent time while George took care things of the shop.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were off hunting Horcruxes, and Ginny was at Hogwarts being taught by deatheaters and attempting to rally what was left of the DA for when the inevitable culmination of this war came about.

You all feared for their lives, and with no direct communication with your missing loved ones, a heavy blanket of sorrow surrounded each of you at all times.

You sat in front of the fireplace with Fred’s arms wrapped around you tightly.

“Fred,” you mumbled, “what’s going to happen? What if not all of us survive this war?”

“Y/N, your sister is safe, she’s staying with your Mom’s muggle cousin in America. My family…we’re tough, strong, and stubborn. There’s no way any of our family won’t survive.”

Even though Fred’s words calmed you down a bit, you still felt the weight of worry upon your heart. He softly stroked your hair and you felt yourself slowly drifting into slumber, but before you could fall completely asleep, Fred’s voice whispered into the silence.

“Besides, there’s another Weasley wedding on the horizon and no one is going to miss it.”

“I didn’t know Charlie found a girl…” you mumbled as you finally slipped into unconsciousness.

It had been discovered just a few weeks ago that you and the Weasley family were aiding Harry, and you were all forced into hiding, taking refuge at Aunt Muriel’s.

Fred and George spent most of their time focusing on selling their products via mail order, which left you to your own devices.

For whatever reason, Aunt Muriel had a record player, and your prized muggle record collection had been packed into your things when you moved into her house.

The sound of Elvis Presley’s voice singing “Can’t Help Falling in Love” filled the small room you were sitting in, and your eyes closed as you swayed to the music.

Fred had left George to find you, knowing that you were the source of the music that was echoing throughout the home. He took you into his arms and danced with you the same way he had at Bill and Fleur’s wedding.

A tear trickled down your cheek and Fred, observant as ever, noticed you were crying before you had a chance to quickly wipe the tear away.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“I just…I always pictured myself dancing to this song at my wedding, but now I’m not so sure I’ll even live long enough to get married.”

“Don’t talk like that, Y/N, you’ll live through this war. We both will. And we’ll dance to this song at our wedding, and any other song you want to dance to.”

“You talk an awful lot about our wedding, Freddie.”

“It’s not talking, it’s planning.”

The two of you spent the next hour dancing around the room; long after the song had ended and silence filled the air.

You saw the blast knock his body tens of feet away from where he had been standing. The ringing in your ears causing you to lose focus of the situation at hand for a few moments.

Once you could see straight, you started to search among the rubble, searching for a familiar flash of red.

Suddenly, a hand reached out and grabbed your ankle. You whipped around to see Fred Weasley laying on the ground with his infamous smile plastered on his dirt covered face.

“Fred!” You cried as you helped him off the ground.

“Fred Weasley, you absolute moron, I thought I lost you. Don’t you ever scare me like that again or I swear to Merlin I’ll never let you leave the house for the rest of your life!”

You let him pull you into his chest and your tears soaked his jacket, but neither of you cared.

“It’s May 2nd, Y/N, I can’t die on May 2nd! That’s going to be the date of our wedding!”

“Shut up and kiss me Fred,” you mumbled into his shirt, paying no attention to what he was saying due to the fact that you were still in shock from seeing his body flung through the air.

“Oi,” George called from nearby, “there’s a bloody war going on, there will be time for snogging later!”

With one last kiss to your mouth, you and Fred took off running, throwing curses and hexes at anyone that dared to threaten your friends or family.

The entire Weasley family was at the Burrow; it was a bittersweet reunion. Although you were all overjoyed that everyone in the family had survived, you also mourned the loss of all the friends you had lost in the brutal war.

You especially were grieving the loss of Remus Lupin, who had become a father figure in your life ever since your parents passed away during your fifth year at Hogwarts. You excused yourself from the living room and trudged up to Fred’s old room. His belongings had been brought there from Aunt Muriel’s, and the two of you had yet to return to the apartment above the shop.

Your eyes landed on a particularly curious looking booklet sitting atop his trunk. In Fred’s unmistakable scribble, you read the words “wedding plans” on the cover, and your curiosity got the better of you when you decided to look inside.

The first page was dated July 29th, 1997, and on it he had written, “Date of Ceremony: May 2nd. Y/N and I agree that a late spring wedding would be absolutely beautiful.”

You flipped to the next page, dated August 1st, 1997, and saw that he had written down the conversation you had about wanting a small wedding while you danced at Bill and Fleur’s reception. Each page had something new written on it; the fact that you wanted peonies for your bouquet, “Can’t Help Falling in Love” as your first dance song, and so many other small pieces of information Fred had coaxed out of you since last summer.

Suddenly, you heard Fred’s voice call out from the doorway.

“What are you reading, love?”

You turned around, booklet in hand, with tears streaming down your face.

“Fred…I…I didn’t know that you’ve been serious this whole time.”

“Well I told you that it wasn’t talk, I was planning everything out. It’s been what’s kept me going this past year, you know, the thought of everything in that booklet becoming real.”

“Oh Fred,” you cried as you ran towards him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“You never said anything along the lines of ‘I don’t want to marry you’ so I figured we were on the same page. Besides, you always said you didn’t want a fancy proposal.”

“I did say that, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want one at all! You never asked me, how was I supposed to know you were serious?”

“Because I’ve always been serious about you, Y/N. You are the one thing in my life that I’ve ever been serious about and sure of. You’ve always been a bit oblivious though, so I suppose I should do this properly.”

He stepped past you and rummaged through his trunk before pulling out a small, black box. He kneeled in front of you and took your hand before smirking devilishly at you.

“I was only joking, you know, I had always planned to properly propose. But I knew if I did while there was a war going on you might have hexed my nose off, so I’ve been saving this for almost a year now.”

Tears were swimming in both of your eyes, and before Fred could ask, you gave him an answer.

“Yes. I want to marry you, I will marry you, on May 2nd of next year. It’ll be just us and our families. We’ll have loads of peonies and dance to Elvis Presley. I want to be Mrs. Fred Weasley.”

“Are you serious, love, I had a whole speech planned and everything, can’t I just say some of it?”

“Nothing will top me finding that notebook sitting on top of your trunk, but if you want to try…”

“You know what, you’re right, this turned out way better than I planned. It was romantic, you’re crying, the ring looks – oh bloody hell, I haven’t even put the ring on you yet.”

He fumbled with the box and slid the ring onto your finger. It was simple, elegant, and absolutely perfect.

Fred stood up in front of you and brought a hand to your cheek, swiping the pad of his thumb to catch the falling tears.

“We’re getting married,” he whispered as a tear of his own slid down his face.

“Yes, Freddie, we’re getting married.”