#yes I have to add a swear warning to my Facebook posts because most of my friends and family are hyper religious

[uwudonoodle]

I hate when I'm going through my memories on Facebook, and the meme has since been deleted. I wanna know what this was all about!

[fan-fantasies]

Partners? (Namjoon smut)

Pairing?: Namjoon x virgin!reader (college! au)

Warnings?: SMUT, fingering, oral, bit of a daddy kink, virgin reader, swearing (i think thats it?)

Word count?:a little over 8k

A/N: Hey guys! Its been a bit, kinda crazy that its now that i wanna write. So just a life update, i’m back at college, we are doing in person classes so I’m not sure how busy i’ll be. Though on a better note i’ve been writing a lot for some reason and am only now feeling inspired to do so. Anyways, someone needs to stop me from writing smut, I suck so bad at it but here I am continuing to write. Anyways, i hope you guys enjoy. Maybe i’ll post something else later in the week or by the weekend, who knows. Thanks for all the love and support you give me and Heather, we really appreciate it! <3 ~Breezy

In the three years, you had been at your university you had honestly believed that college dorm sex was the worst kind of sex to have. Not only did you have to be slightly quieter as to not allude the other students around you of what you were doing, but you had to make sure that you timed it just right so your roommate wouldn’t walk in on you. The number of times you had walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend finishing up was honestly insanely high. 

You and your roommate had been rooming together since your first year, you had moved into her room after your first roommate decided she wanted to party all the damn time. The two of you just seemed to click right away, you two had enough in common that you would stay up all night just chatting away. Usually talking about weird things and just end up going to bed without another word. 

Today was another day, your writing workshop had seemed to take its toll on you seeing as though you were dragging your feet on the pavement, how you hadn’t tripped yet was beyond your logic. You let out a rather loud yawn as you trudged towards your dorm building which seemed to be much farther away then you remember. 

“Hey!”A voice called from behind you, it took you a moment to realize that someone was talking to you. Stopping in your tracks, you turn and see a tall figure jogging towards you. You instantly recognize him by his blonde hair, he usually sits next to you in your workshop class. Namjoon was his name.

When he finally caught up to you, he stopped to catch his breath, “Damn, I’m out of shape,” he pants before standing back up fully. He was tall, practically towering over you. 

“Sorry to just run up to you,” he begins, “but I know we will be having a group project soon and I enjoy your writing so I was wondering if you would want to work with me?” He says looking at you, there was a small smile on his face. 

You had done proofreading on his work before, it was honestly amazing but you weren’t sure what he saw in your work. 

“Y-Yeah! Sure, I would like to work with you,” you smile, “I enjoy your work too!” You follow up as you watch his smile grow and small dimples appear. 

“Awesome!”He exclaims, “Can I have your number? So we can talk about times to meet up or maybe throw ideas at each other.”

You’re too mesmerized by his cute smile to say words, so you simply nod at his question. Both of you exchange numbers before you both go into different directions. 

You were lucky that Namjoon had stopped you to talk because if he hadn’t, you likely would have walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend having their sexy time. Unlocking the door, you enter, seeing the two of them in bed just kinda chatting but you knew they were likely naked under those blankets. You kept your eyes from looking in that direction as you walk towards your side of the room. 

Your roommate had greeted you, which you happily reply with a simple greeting. You knew the two of them would go back to chatting until they either fell asleep or he would get dressed and leave. You put your earbuds into your ears and began to read over the assignment that was given for another class and began to work on it. Engrossed in the music, your head thinking about nothing but the assignment until you felt someone tap your shoulder. 

“It’s time for dinner, wanna go to the cafe?” Your roommate asked, typically you both went together or ate in the room.

“Yeah just give me a second,” you answer as you get yourself to a good stopping point before grabbing all the things you needed for dinner. 

The walk with filled with chaotic chatter as usual, though she did apologize for you nearly walking in on them again. 

“Me and him just have awful timing,” she admits, “and we can’t do anything in his room cause his roommate is literally always around,” she explains with a shrug. 

You nod, “Yes well, please for the love of all things, just text me when you think you’re gonna start anything.” You plead, “Then at least I can wait an hour or something so I don’t have to see any more than I already do.” You both laughed for a few moments before entering the building that seemed rather quiet for the time of day. 

After grabbing your plate of food and finding an empty table you both sat together enjoying each other company more than the food. 

“Hey (y/n),”

You glance behind you, surprised to see Namjoon standing behind you. “Oh hey Namjoon,” he was smiling,

“Do you mind if I join you two? I wanted to run something by you for the project,” you glance over to your roommate who was clearing giving signs to let this poor man sit. 

“Sure take a seat,”you tell him, “Oh Namjoon, this is my roommate,” you introduce both of them. Your roommate seemed more interested in trying to leave you two alone to talk then actually making a friend. She stood up, grabbing all her things, before leaving she whispers in your ear,

“He’s cute! You better be getting some of that,” she giggles before walking off not giving you a chance to explain that it was nothing like that.

“Sorry about her, she can be a little weird,” you apologize to him, he only laughed a little before you both began talking about your project.

“I don’t know about you, but I find myself writing more romance style novels then I do anything,” he laughs nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

You sat there thinking about it, “I’ve never really written a romance style thing before,” you trail, you were more into writing horror and fantasy then you were anything. 

“I enjoy horror and fantasy,” you explain looking down at your hands. You weren’t exactly expecting the reaction you had gotten.

“That's wonderful!,” He began to jot notes down in his book, “Why don’t we try to write the most obscure story? Some sort of romance horror story,”  he suggests. 

There were a few moments of silence while you thought it over, a horror romance novel? That seemed a bit out there but then again, your writing wasn’t too far off from being “out there”.

“That sounds kind of fun~,” you tell him. His beautiful bright smile appeared on his face causing a blush to appear on your cheeks. What a truly interesting project this would be.

You hadn’t even noticed that people were slowly leaving the dining room area, the both of you too engrossed on trying to come up with the perfect idea. It wasn’t until the staff came over and told you it was nearly closing time that you realized how long you had been sitting at the same table. In that period, you had brainstormed five potential ideas. Honestly, you didn’t believe that you could be so productive with anyone.

“Namjoon, your some sort of genius,” you say as the two of you walk back towards the dorm buildings,

He laughs and shakes his head, “Well I wouldn’t say I’m a genius,” he began, “We can work really well together which is just a good thing,” he tries to explain, you figured he didn’t know how to word his statement but you understood what he meant. It was a relief to think someone so great had wanted to be your partner, since you last partner did none of the work and royally screwed you over. 

“Do you want to meet up tomorrow?” He asks, “To brainstorm some more,” he quickly adds . You thought for a moment only to remember tomorrow was the worst day of the week. 

“I won’t be able to till pretty late. My last class gets out around seven,” you sigh glancing up at him,

He just gave you a nod, “Why don’t we meet up tomorrow after your class for a little bit? I don’t mind staying up a little later,” he suggests,

You weren’t sure if your body could carry you that long, “I don’t know Joon~,” you trail, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to function after such a long day,” you try to reason, 

It was clear he understood but he seemed a bit taken back, “Joon?” He questioned, your eyes went wide with shock, 

“O-Oh, I’m sorry… I tend to give people nicknames and I don’t ever ask if its okay,” you blurt out in hopes you didn’t actually offend him. 

He just laughed, “No it’s alright, I like that a lot,” he answer causing a huge weight to lift from your chest. 

“How about this? We meet up tomorrow, a friend of mine works at a small diner right down the street. He would give us a place in the back if we wanted to work and we can get something to eat,” he says, “if the time comes and your tired then we won’t go,” he concludes. You decided to just tell him yes, not like it was a hard choice. 

You both said your goodbyes before entering your building and heading towards your room. Your roommate was sitting on her bed, laptop on her lap as she scrolled through Facebook. Her face lit up when she saw you, 

“Spill it!” She squealed looking at you hoping for some juicy details of a ‘hook up’. 

You raised your eyebrow, “There is nothing to spill,” you tell her, “We sat and talked about our project,”

She groaned loudly, for some reason she was always trying to convince you to sleep with someone. “Come on girl!” She shrieks, “You need to get some of him!” She put her laptop onto her bed and turned to face you. “He’s super cute and I’m pretty sure he likes you,” 

You knew she was happy for you but she honestly tended to be a little over the top about it. 

“Just forget about it, he’s my project partner,” you didn’t say anything else, you got your bag ready for you long day of classes. 

You knew you were asleep, but this dream felt so real to you. The library was quiet, you really enjoyed studying on the second floor of the library cause no one typically ventured down this far. It almost felt like a secret spot to you. 

“You like this spot too?” A voice asked, you knew it was Namjoon, you didn’t even have to look up from your book. 

“Its quiet and no one can distract me,” you explain continuing to let your eyes scan the book in front of you. 

“Can I join you?” You gave him a nod before he pulled a chair up next to you. The both of you studying in silence for what seemed like forever, it was peaceful and calming. That was until you felt his large hand on your knee. 

You froze at the sudden contact, finally glancing up from your book only to see him reading his as if nothing was happening. 

“N-Namjoon?” You stammer trying to keep yourself calm and to not over think it. He glanced over from his book, only to send you a wink before going back to his reading. What in the world was happening? 

You went back to your reading only to feel his hand creep higher up your leg, now reaching your mid thigh. You felt you stomach twist, not in disgust but in excitement. You tried so desperately to focus on your reading. Though his hand just kept creeping higher until reaching the apex of your thigh. You bit your lip, gently squeezing your legs together. His hand squeezed your thigh, he clicked his tongue in displeasure. Using his strength he pried your legs apart, though you didn’t try to fight back, it was easy to say you weren’t apposed to this happening. 

Once again looking up from your book, you finally saw him looking at you. His eyes blown with lust, it took your breath away. 

“Joon?” You whisper softly as he sets his book down. 

He chuckles, “Keep reading babygirl, and remember keep quiet,” he mumbles, “this is a library,” 

You aren’t sure what his plan is until you feel his hand creep up and begin to unbutton you jeans. You cheeks begin to heat up but you don’t protest, it almost turned you on more. You continue to try to focus on your book as he shimmy you jeans down your legs. Eventually his hand found its way between your thighs, his long fingers gently rubbing over your clothed core. You held back a moan, you had never been touched like this by anyone. 

He felt you tense up and could clearly see the wet spot starting to appear on your underwear, 

“Someones excited,” he chuckles glancing up at you, “Have you thought about this, me touching you like this?” He whispers now expecting an answer, 

You nod your head, “Y-Yes,” you whimper out, you wanted more, you NEEDED more. 

“Now be a good girl and start reading to me, don’t miss a word or I’ll stop,” you couldn’t believe your ears, he wanted you to read? You felt him move your underwear aside, his fingers dipping down through your wet folds. You whimper softly, 

“You heard me baby, start reading,” he growls lowly causing a shiver to run down your spine. Slowly you begin to read where you left off, reading something about the Egyptian gods and how the society revolved around them. You had honestly stoped paying attention up until this point. 

As you continued to read, his fingers ran through your folds collecting you wetness before gently making circles on your clit. The low moan that left you lips was unintentional and not something you had hoped would come from you but you continued to read. 

“You’re so wet baby,” Namjoon mumbles as he kisses your inner thigh, his fingers now trailing towards your entrance before he slowly interested a finger into you. 

You couldn’t help but stop reading, you knew if you continued the moan that would have escaped your lips would have alerted the who library. Just like he said, he stoped when you didn’t continue reading.

“What did I tell you babygirl?” He huskily asks, you began to pant unsure if you can answer. 

“P-Please daddy,” you whine, “just give me a minute, i-i’ll keep reading~ I promise,” the fact that you had just uttered those words even surprised you seeing as though you didn’t think that was something you were that into. 

He gave you a curt nod, “You better beautiful, or I won’t move,” you tried desperately to catch your breath but it took a few moments until you found yourself reading again. Once you began to read, Namjoon slowly began to pump his finger in and out of you. It took every inch of you to not stop or to stumble on your words. 

It wasn’t until he added a second finger where things started to go down hill. You began to stutter, soft moans began to leave your lips.

“P-Please, can I stop reading?” You beg hoping to get an answer you liked. 

He just chuckled as he stopped his motion, “Why should I let you stop baby?” He teased looking up at you, you didn’t have an answer to his question. 

“You gotta study babygirl,” he teases as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. 

“P-Please daddy, I wanna watch you,” you whine causing him to stop, 

“You like this?” He begins to move his fingers faster, you put your book down. “If you aren’t gonna read you’re gonna look right at me,” he says looking you directly in the eyes. You gave him a nod locking eyes with him. While keeping eye contact, slowly he leans forward leaving a single kitten like on your clit, almost testing the waters. You bit your tongue to hold back the moan that would have escaped. 

Without warning he went straight in, sucking your clit between his lips.

“o-oh fuck,” you whimper as you try to keep eye contact with him, the feeling of his lips harshly sucking on you, while pumping his fingers into you. It was unlike anything you had ever felt before. When he finally inserted a third finger, your head rolled back a moan finally leaving your lips. You felt him gently slap your thigh to gain your attention, 

“Eyes on me babygirl, I wanna see your beautiful face when you cum on my fingers,” you felt yourself get closer to your release, 

“Fuck, are you gonna cum babygirl? I feel you tightening around my fingers.” He groans, “You like doing this in public don’t you? You like the idea of getting caught, don’t you?” He taunts, you moan not able to form words, 

“Answer me,” he growls against your clit as he gently nibbles on it, 

“Yes daddy, I like it,” you whines out softly, he chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. 

“I knew you did you slut,” his words only pushing you closer to the edge, 

“I’m so close,” you moan, “Please daddy, let me cum,” you beg, he groans at the sound of you begging. 

“Go on babygirl, cum for daddy,” he groaned out move his fingers faster. The look in his eyes was enough to throw you over the edge, your legs began to shake as you finally reached your climax. He helped you through your high, working his fingers slowly in and out of you until you finally came down. 

“What a good girl~”

Your eyes snapped open, you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, you hated wet dreams…. You grumbled to yourself as you looked at your phone and saw that it was seven o’clock, thirty minutes before your alarm as to go off. 

“God damn it,” you mumble under your breath as you get out of bed, deciding to take a shower to start the day and maybe you might be able to deal with the aching between your legs. 

Your day had honestly started off alright considering waking up earlier than intended.  Your first three classes went by rather well, though you had two more to go. Between walking from building to building you stopped into the cafeteria to grab a quick snack seeing as though you wouldn’t be eating until eight o’clock tonight when you met with Joon.

In your rush to get in and out quickly, you ran into something solid, 

“(Y/n)? You alight?” A concerned voice asked, you nodded before looking up, 

“Yeah, I’m alright Hobi,” you say, “I’m sorry for running into you, I’m in a bit of a rush,” you explain to him, he smiled his bright smile before speaking, 

“No harm done! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the club meeting!” He say as you rush off. Hobi was president of a dance club that you had been apart of since your freshmen year, but it wasn’t until Hobi came around that you guys ever did anything. You were finally doing shows and competitions, it was honestly the most amazing thing. The both of you bonded over a duet you did together that would be considered pretty risky for just friends to do. Ever since then you two were honestly the best of friends. 

Rushing towards your next class you munched on a piece of toast, you weren’t running late but if you walked slow enough you would be. You just kept telling yourself that you were almost done and soon you would be meeting with your cute new friend. 

Seven o’clock came around and you were trying your best to keep yourself awake, you last class had a quiz that you had completely forgot about and it honestly took everything out of you. 

“Hey (y/n),” Namjoon says as he meets you outside of the school building. 

You yawn and smile, “Hi Joon,” he frowns, he can clearly see that you were tired. 

“Let me take you to your room,” he says with his usual smile, you looked at him in confusion,

“N-No, Joon lets go do our project,” you yawn as you begin to walk, he stops you by gently grabbing your hand,

“Why don’t we go to your room, we can work there if you want,” he says, you nodded sleepily. You must have been that sleepy to invite the boy your roommate shipped you with back to your room. This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

Namjoon walked with you into your room, your roommate was no where in sight. Weird, she must have been at her boyfriends room…

“Make yourself at home,’ you yawn as you set you bag down by your desk and promptly take a seat on your bed. 

“Fuck~” Namjoon mutters as he checks his phone, 

“Whats wrong?” You ask sleepily, you kinda cuddling into your bed. 

“My roommates girlfriend is over, meaning I need to find a place to crash tonight,” he mumbles clearly not happy about the predicament. 

Without thinking you spoke up, “Stay here,” he seems to freeze in his place, “I don’t mind,” you yawn again now laying down in the bed. 

“A-Are you sure (y/n)? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he reasons with you. You pat the empty space next to you, honestly not caring what he did. 

He must have realized no work was getting done tonight, because the lights went out and you felt him lay behind you. You could tell he was trying to keep his distance like a gentleman but you weren’t a fan of personal space. 

A soft yawn escaped your lips  as you cuddled closer to his chest, you had always liked being warm when you slept and he was practically radiating heat. Namjoon tensed up behind you, unsure of what to do mainly because he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Though he felt himself slowly drift to sleep, his arm gently draping over your waist gently. He could help but feel butterflies in his stomach, it was true he found you cute and that he may have gained a crush on you in the small amount of time you knew each other. Though he wasn’t going to complain about what was happening, no way in hell but he just hoped when you both woke up you things wouldn’t be too awkward. 

You heard the door slowly open, at what you assumed was, early that next morning. You didn’t pay much mind to it seeing as though you were so comfortable and warm in your bed. The soft giggles of your roommate were faint as you slowly began to wake up from your peaceful sleep. You had begun to realize that you pillow was a bit harder then usual…You eyes fluttered open only to find that your pillow was, in fact, the hard chest that belonged to none other then Namjoon. You knew nothing had happened last night, and that this was nothing more. 

“What time is it?” You groan quietly to your roommate, 

“A little after seven,” she says just as quietly, “I see you had a fun night,” she teased, 

You stuck your tongue out at her, “No, he came over to work on our project and I fell asleep, his roommate had his girlfriend over and needed a place to crash.” You tell her as quietly as you could without waking the gentle giant. Your roommate still giggled and went to her side of the room, you assumed to get ready for the class she had today. 

You took this moment to look up at Joons sleeping face, his hair was slightly disheveled and his lips slight agape. Every so often he would softly snore and shift a little. You honestly wished you could have this view all the time. You watched for as he slowly began to wake up, his eyes fluttered open. 

A small smile formed on his lips, “Morning,” he mumbled lowly in his deep morning voice. 

“Morning Joon,” you say just as softly as you slowly try to sit up, instead he slowly pulls you back, 

“Stay for a bit longer,” he groans as he seems to close his eyes again. You honestly didn’t fight him, though you knew your roommate wasn’t gonna let you live it down. It wasn’t much longer until your eyes fluttered shut again and you fell asleep. 

You woke up again, this time to a tickling feeling against your neck. It didn’t take you long to realize that it was Namjoon’s breath against your neck. His face was buried into your neck, his lips ridiculously close to touching your skin. You tried so hard to control your breathing, to ignore the feeling of arousal starting to pool between your legs. Just the idea of his lips on your neck was enough to cause said aching between your legs. 

Namjoon groans in his sleep, shifting closer to you, his lips now brushing gently against the nape of your neck. You bit your lip in order to hold back the whimper that was rising from your throat. This man had no idea what he was doing to you. You continued to feel his lips lightly brush against your neck for a few moment, holding back was becoming incredibly hard. You wanted to move but his arm was securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him, maybe he was aware of what he did to you…

You tried to push that thought away from you there was no way he knew, well that’s what you thought. Not seconds later did his lips press against your neck, not roughly but just enough that a the whimper you had been holding back finally made an appearance. His lips didn’t move, it was clear that he was still asleep. 

“J-Joon,” you whisper out in hopes that maybe he would wake up, He just groaned in his sleep, his lips continuing to graze your neck. 

“Namjoon,” you breath out, trying to hide your embarrassment, you honestly couldn’t believe that something this simple was turning you on. Slowly he began to shift, his lips moving away from you now as his eyes opened. 

“(Y/N)?” He groans as he slowly wakes up, you sat there trying to catch your breath. You heart was still pounding in your chest, 

“Are you okay?” He asked, clear concern laced in his voice. 

You nod your head, “Y-Yeah, just woke up from a weird dream,” you stammer out trying to keep yourself calm. He sits up looking at you, he was worried about you clearly. 

“I’m alright, I promise,” you say, “do you have class today? We can do some of our project today.” You say trying to change the subject. He rubs his eyes, before shaking his head, 

“I have a club meeting tonight but that’s about it,” he replies, he keeps an arm wrapped around you as you chatted,

“You’re in a club?” You question, you assumed he was in some sort of ‘smart person’ club but you wouldn’t actually admit that out loud. 

“A childhood friend wanted me to join a club with him,” he says with a nod, 

“Who’s your friend? If you don’t mind me asking,” you ask honestly kinda curious to see if you know them.

“His names Hoseok,” he says with a shrug, 

You sat there shocked for a second, “Wait, Jung Hoseok?” You ask, when he nodded you nearly had a heart attack, “You’re joining the dance club?” You blurted, you really hoped he didn’t take offense to that. 

He laughed and nodded, “Yes, I know it’s a bit strange. He roped a bunch of our friends together to do some sort of dance together,” he laughed, “He even managed to ask our friend Seokjin and Yoongi to come back to join it,” He explained, now you were interested, 

“Wait, Min Yoongi?” You ask, “The music production major, who on the last day literally cussed out the professor?” You squack, causing the both of you to laugh. His laugh was honestly adorable to say the least. 

“Yes that Yoongi,” he confirmed, “We all became friends at a young age and we all just kinda stayed together I guess.” He chuckled, you smiled hearing that. You didn’t have many friends growing up, and the ones you did lost contact and you all just kinda faded away. Not like you really cared seeing as though you never really liked having friends anyways. 

“I didn’t realize he would be someone to be into dancing,” you mutter causing Namjoon to chuckle, there were no other words spoken for a few moments. 

Eventually, the both of you began to work on your project. You both of you throwing ideas back and forth of the strangest thing. 

“Hear me out,” you begin with a giggle, “What about these two friends live together, and one of them becomes possessed by a demon,” you explain, “the demon sees that the friend it’s possessing is madly in love with the other. So it spends all its time trying to get them together,” you conclude looking at his face for any sort of thought. 

A bright smile spread across his face, “Thats amazing! It’s perfect!” He says happily, jotting it all down in his notes. The both of you continued to work for most of the day, it seemed like both of your minds just joined together as one. 

Before you realized it, it was nearly time for you to head to club. 

He began to pack up his things, “So I’ll see you there?” He asked with a happy smile, you gave him a happy nod before saying goodbye. Once he left, you threw on your more dance worthy clothing before grabbing your water bottle and keys, before locking your door and leaving. 

You were one of the first to arrive after Hobi, he was quick to run to you and engulf you into the tightest hug imaginable. 

You were happy to give him an even bigger hug, “Hobi!” You squeal happily, his cute laugh filled the room as you both just stood embracing each other. Though it honestly hadn’t been that long since you had seen him, you both often greeted each other this way. 

It was honestly the one thing you looked forward to. If it weren’t for Hobi, you wouldn’t be the person you were today. As you waited for the rest of the club, the both of you stretched and spoke together about the things you had done over your summer or just random things that you both had been up to. 

Eventually a few stragglers came in before the large group of boys that you were kind of familiar with. The three you recognized was, of course, Namjoon who walked beside Yoongi. You had only seen him a few times, Yoongi was pretty quiet when he wasn’t with his friends. You had nearly worked a project with him, a singer was needed, you had auditioned but the day you were asked to go in they had turned everyone away. He had decided to do something different. 

The last person you recognized was Jimin, you had met him through the club. He was a true sweetheart and was honestly a dance god. You honestly envied his talent, he was an amazing dancer with so much passion. You had both danced together once, you had nearly won a competition his first time doing the club. 

Hoseok’s voice filled the room as he greeted his friends from where he was standing, you could tell he was extremely happy to see that they had actually decided to show up. He waved you over with a wide smile, you cautiously walk over not exactly sure how this would go over. 

“Guys! This is (Y/N), she’s another good friend of mine!” He introduces, you gave an awkward smile and wave as they all introduced themselves. Jimin greeted you with a sweet hug as the others just kinda waved. 

“I’m just so glad you guys are here!” He cheers with a giggle, each person broke into a pretty wide smile. This years club was going to be an interesting one, you could tell. 

A few months had gone by, Namjoon and yourself had gotten closer than ever. If you squinted you would honestly think you were an actual couple, well most people believed that you were anyways. You were always together, either working on your project or just hanging out together.  Hobi had noticed the two of you getting close, so he decided to make you dance partners. It was honestly the most amazing thing to happen, it only brought you two closer together. 

So close that your roommate just wouldn’t stop teasing you, asking when you were finally gonna take things to the next step. You obviously told her that you both weren’t in that kind of relationship, she would just roll her eyes and continue to tease you. 

Today was like any other day, except today you stayed in his room. The both of you sat in his bed watching a random movie that played on his computer. You two often did this on the weekends, it was a way for you to de-stress and just spend time away from everyone. 

Though something was different, Namjoon seemed nervous. He arm was slung over your shoulder, you wanted so desperately to cuddle into his side. 

Recently the stresses of college had really gotten to you, all the work and projects you had to get done where starting to take its tole. You hadn’t been sleeping well, you hadn’t been eating well and honestly you had gone a week or so without interacting with anyone, that included going to your favorite club. 

“Are you okay?” Joon questions snapping you out of your thoughts. You didn’t speak for a few seconds, the only sound to be heard was the sound of the tv. 

“I’m alright,” you finally answer, “I’m just glad to be finally having a break from everything.” You whisper softly, he gave a small nod before pulling you closer to his side. The faint smell of his cologne fulled your nose instantly calming you down. 

“Thanks Joonie,” you mumble snuggling into him more, if that’s even possible. You heard him chuckle a little. You glanced up to him, much to your surprise he was looking at you, his dimpled smile showing. You found yourself glancing down at his lips a few times, honestly wondering if they were a soft as they looked. He seemed to notice you gaze rather quickly, he was always a little slow when it came to the signs but he could see that this was something you might have wanted. He slowly leans towards you, his lips now extremely close to yours. 

“N-Namjoon,” you whisper, looking into his dark eyes. Concern filled them for a second, afraid he had done something wrong. “Kiss me, please,” you tell him, not wanting to wait another second. He seems frozen at your request, so you took the leap of faith. Gently you connected your lips together, it was clear that the both of you were nervous. 

The kiss lasted only a few seconds, before he pulled away slowly, you heart was beating out of your chest. Before you knew it, his hands gently grabbed your waist, pulling you onto his lap you legs straddling him. One of his hands sat gently on your side while the other caressed the back of your neck. He pulls you back in for another kiss, this one passionate and showed all the feelings he had. His hand held you close as his tongue gently snaked his way into your mouth. Was this was really happening?

You couldn’t help but involuntarily rolling your hips against his causing the both of you to moan into each others mouths. You finger tangled in his hair holding him as close as you could get him. Was this actually happening? You’d never done this with anyone before but you weren’t going to stop, this felt way too right. 

You pulled away from his lips, both of you trying to catch your breath. Cautiously his lips trailed down your neck, leaving feather light kisses everywhere that he could. You let out a soft sign, the feeling foreign but pleasant. As he became more confident in himself, his lips pressed harder onto your neck occasionally sucking and nipping at the skin cause soft moans to slip past you lips. His hands began to wander cautiously, giving you an opportunity to stop him at any time. You hadn’t planed to stop him, even after his hands began to wander under your shirt touching your bare waist. He pulled away from your neck, looking you in the eyes asking for permission. You simply nodded, you didn’t have to say words the both of you could practically feel each others energies. 

His lips connected to yours again, you grabbed the edge of your shirt, slowly pulling it up and off of you. The kiss continued for a few moments before he too shed his shirt. Your hands began to trail his toned stomach, he was so well built… 

A groan escaped his lips as a hands began to trail up towards your chest, his hands cupping your cloth covered breasts gently almost testing the waters. Once again his lips trailed down your neck heading towards your semi-exposed chest. Taking this chance, you reach behind to unclasp your bra letting it fall from your chest. He doesn’t hesitate to let his lips wander further down until his lips attached to one of your nipples. You couldn’t stop the moan that trembled from your lips causing him to glance up at you and pull away, 

“You gotta be quiet, we don’t need everyone hearing,” he chuckled with a small smirk causing wetness to pool between your legs. He left a few kitten likes against your nipple before seeing your reaction, “Unless you want everyone to know.” This caused another moan to surface giving him the answer he was looking for. He used his strength to lay you down on your back, him hovering above you. His lips continuing to assault your breasts, leaving small love bites and soft kisses as he worked his way down towards you stomach. 

“Joon, please,” you whine softly trying to keep your voice down. He left light kisses near your navel as he slowly began to pull down your sweatpants. Lifting your hips off the bed to help get your pants off. He wasted no time, leaving light kisses against you thighs leaving your body shaking with anticipation. He silently drank in your form before leaning down kissing near the waistband of your panties, he glances up at you almost silently asking for permission which you happily gave him. He pulled them down your legs carefully, you hear him audibly groan at the sight of you. 

“You’re so wet baby,” he groans as he begins to kiss your thighs again making his way higher and higher. He parts your legs, placing them on his shoulders as he dives in. His tongue automatically finding your clit, you bit your lip silencing the cry that the whole building would likely had heard. Your fingers tangled in his hair, holding on for dear life, his mouth felt amazing. 

“H-Holy shit, that feels so good,” you moan softly, you felt him smile against you, occasionally groaning as he continued to eat you out. The closer you to to your high, which was a lot faster than you would hope, the harder it became to hold back your moans. 

“Joon, I’m so close, please,” you beg trying to keep your voice down as low as you could, your grip in his hair tightened causing him to groan. You hips bucked up against his face, trying to chase your orgasm. He flattens his hands against your stomach, pinning you down so you couldn’t move. This only brought you closer, after a few moments of chasing your much needed orgasm he growls against you, 

“Cum for me, baby,” That was all it took before you were thrown over the edge, the idea of him being able to bring you to an orgasm with just his tongue only seemed to intensify it. 

“Joon,” you whine as you came down from your high but his ministrations didn’t stop. You tried to push him away but he held you down. It was only a moment before he from between your legs, crawling up your body and kissing you lustfully. You could still taste yourself on his tongue as you fought for dominance. His fingers gently touched your sensitive clit causing you to gasp against his lips, he pulls away slightly,

“Relax baby,” he whispers, “I have to prep you for me,” he nips at your neck, as his fingers trail down towards your entrance you grab his hand. 

A faint blush crept on your cheeks, now feeling embarrassed, his eyes softened. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked genuinely concerned about this, you covered your face in embarrassment. 

“I-I’m a virgin,” you mumble, gently he moved your hands from your face. He looks directly into your eyes, you could only see love in his eyes. 

“It’s alright,” he kisses your cheek sweetly, “If you want to stop we can, I don’t wanna rush you,” he begins, “If not, I will be really gentle alright? I would never hurt you,” he whispers, you felt tears well up in your eyes. You couldn’t believe he actually cared that much for you…. 

“Please keep going,” you whisper, “I trust you,” you watch as his smile grew wider, the love in his eyes only grew brighter. 

“Then I will be really gentle, you just have to tell me if I’m hurting you,” he says; you give him a nod of understanding before he continued. His lips connected to yours once more in a quick kiss before he gently laid his forehead against yours, his finger circling your entrance. You gave him a small nod while looking into his eyes. He took the first step, slowly inserting a finger into you. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to start with, kinda uncomfortable but the longer you adjusted. You knew this was just the beginning though. 

Slowly he began to move his finger, testing the water to see how you were feeling, the moan that escaped your lips seemed to egg him on. His pace slowly quickened, before slowly entering a second finger into the mix. He halted his motions for a few moments, 

“You’re doing so well beautiful,” he whispered in your ear, along with a few other encouraging words that seemed to shoot a tingling sensation right down to your core.  

“M-Move, please,” you whine not wanting him to hold back any more. He took that as his cue, starting a slow almost teasing pace that drove you crazy. Though the slow pace didn’t exactly last too long, it began to pick up. His eyes never left yours, watching as your face would contort in please just by the flex of his fingers. 

“J-Joon,” you moan, “I want you,” he didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed himself off the bed, finding a condom not in his desk but his roommates. This made you giggle, 

“he won’t notice, the guy goes through them like candy,” he grumbles as he pulls down his sweatpants and boxers. His hard cock hits his stomach, the tip already leaking pre-cum as he put the condom on and hovered above you. 

“This will hurt a little, alright? But just for a minute,” he advices as he lined up with your entrance. Once he slowly began to sink into you, holding back tears you pulled him closer to you burying you face into the crook of his neck. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you laid together adjusting to his size, the pain slowly turned into a dull ache and eventually nearly nothing. 

“Y-You can move,” you tell him as he pecks your lips. Slowly he pulls himself out and back in, setting a slow pace just to start out. Soft moans continued to flow from your lips, trying so hard to keep quiet but it was proving a harder task than you thought. 

He kept the slow pace for a few minutes, the he began to speed up until he was nearly pounding into you. All you could do was moan his name as you were, once again, building up towards your orgasm. Namjoon left soft kisses against your neck, leaving love bites in his wake, 

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He growls against your neck, 

You hold back the loud moan you were threatening to let out, “yes,” you moan, “Yes daddy,” you whimper, you felt his tense slightly at the name he was just called. A blush crept up your neck and to your cheeks, you honestly believed you had screwed up. 

“Call me that again,” he groans into your ear as he began to snap his hips forward thrusting deeper than before.

“Daddy,” you whine, “I’m so close please,” you sob trying to keep your cries to a dull roar but you were ultimately failing. He continues to thrust, now rougher than ever but you could tell that the name was really getting to him. You could feel the knot in your stomach endlessly tightening but it wasn’t enough, you needed something else. Almost as if he read your mind, his hand snuck down between your bodies, his finger tips drawing tight circles on your clit. 

“Come on baby,” he groans, “Cum for daddy,” he growls while making eye contact with you. You felt the knot snap, you pull Namjoon down into a suffocating kiss, muting the loud moan that escaped as you found your release. Namjoon followed behind, as he felt your walls tighten around him his thrust got sloppy, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Shit, fuck,” he groans into your neck as he released into the condom. His thrusts continued until he nearly collapsed on top of you. The both of you panting, trying to catch your breath. Before he got to comfy he tied the condom off and threw it in the trash. He pulled the blankets over the both of you, and pulled you towards his chest, his heart was still racing. 

“That was amazing,” you say softly, cuddling into his chest. He only nodded in agreement, taking a few minutes to figure out what he wanted to say. That was until the sound of his door unlocking brought you both out of your daze. 

You weren’t prepared for who walked in. 

“Woah, what the fuck…” a familiar voice said, the both of you glanced over only to see your roommate and her boyfriend walk in. 

“No fucking way!” Your roommate squeals in, honest to god, joy. You buried your face into Namjoon’s chest to hide the deep red blush that appeared. 

“Can you guys like, leave?” Namjoon asked, hoping that they wouldn’t over stay their welcome. The both of them laughed, his roommate grabbing a few things before heading back towards the door, 

“So this is what it feels like to be walked in on?” He mumbled causing you and Joon to laugh. When the two of them left, leaving you two alone did he finally speak. 

“I want to take you out,” he mumbles, “Please… I kind of did this in the wrong order,” he rubbed the back of his neck. You giggled at him, his nervousness was honestly the cutest thing. 

“I would love to go out Joonie,” you say kissing his cheek, “Now can we take a nap?” You ask with a giggle. He gave a wide smile before nodding. 

“Of course beautiful,” he whispers as the both of you lay down, he pulls you into his warm chest before the both of you fall asleep.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 17 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

~|Emily Fox|~

Charlie has not left my side since Friday and it is now Thursday. Besides splitting up for school, he’s been stuck to my side like superglue. And even during school, he didn’t leave me alone one second by constantly texting me cute messages or hilarious memes to make me smile because according to him, knowing I’m smiling makes him smile. I don’t know how I deserved to meet a guy like Charlie. “Romeo sending you cute texts again?” Madison’s voice makes me jump. “No, he’s sending me hilarious memes,” I show her my phone screen as she sits down at our lunch table, and she cracks up after a few seconds. “He’s been sending me at least one every hour.” “Aah, love language of the modern day,” she sighs dreamily with an amused smile on her face. She then fishes something out of her backpack and hands it to me. A piece of paper with Emily and The Foxes written at the top in cursive. Live at Open Mic Night, and then the address of the Music Store. “I took the liberty to create a flyer for your gig on Saturday. So many people have reacted to your post on Facebook and Instagram.” Madi is way too excited about this. “How many people?” I cringe, not really wanting to know, but I want to be prepared anyway. “A few five hundred.” I gulp loudly. “That’s a lot of people.” Madison gives me a sympathetic look, knowing that would stress me out. “I don’t know if I can perform in front of that many people.” “Emsie, you have a great band that’ll back you up no matter what. You saw what they did last Friday with your song for your uncle Bobby! They were there for you even though you never rehearsed the song. They got you.” Her words do sound reassuring, but it doesn’t calm my heart down enough. “It still makes me want to puke,” I reply with a giggle, and Madison laughs too, if not out of pity. “I did start writing a new song last night with Charlie.” I grab my songbook, open it to the page and hand it over. Madi looks at it for a second. “It’s for Uncle Mitch,” I inform her, but I think she already knows. “This sounds beautiful, I bet you and Charlie have come up with a great melody for it.” “Not yet! We’re going to work on that tonight. Sometimes he comes up with the melody first, but for this one, we wanted the lyrics right before we added the melody or the beat.” “I don’t understand anything about songwriting. But you’re the expert, so,” Madison raises her hands, making me laugh. After lunch, Madi and I head to our lockers where I find Jake leaning against mine. My heart beats faster, but not in a good way, and my hands become clammy, my body freezing entirely. Madison even bumps into me because I’d stopped so abruptly. “Oof, Emily, warn a girl before—” she stops herself when her eyes land on what I’m looking at. I’d told her about what happened at the party last week. “I swear to God…” she grumbles while rolling up the sleeves of her jumper, ready to charge forward. “What are you going to do, Mads? Punch him? Not a great idea,” I tell her in a hushed voice. “We got to do something for what he did to you, Ems! He harassed you!” I glance around to make sure no one heard her angry whispers. “Charlie already punished him enough by nearly punching him. I think he learned his lesson.” A shiver runs down my spine at the thought of Charlie’s dark, angry eyes. “If he learned his lesson, what’s he doing at your locker?!” I shrug, turning back to Jake. “I don’t know, let’s find out.” Madison wants to start arguing, but I’m already charging forward towards Jake. “Can you move, please?” I raise my voice, hoping it’ll give me some power. “Emily, hi,” Jake breathes out in a blind panic. “What do you need?” I ask as he moves out of the way, so I can get into my locker. “I just wanted to check up on you. I know your uncle’s passing was a year ago.” “It was a year ago last week, dumbass,” Madison chimes in angrily. “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know,” he stutters, glancing from Madison to me. “Yes, you did, Jake,” I tell him, “You broke up with me exactly a year ago on this day after a week of me not being able to function because of my uncle’s death. You know all-too well.” “Yeah, dumbass!” Madison hypes me up with her interjections. “So, stop bothering me and get back to your girlfriend.” I grab the book I need from my locker, slam it shut and then walk away from Jake with Madison in tow. “I am shaking,” I whisper to Madison and she wraps an arm around me. “That was so good!” she whispers back, and we both head to our next class together. I can’t believe I just stood up to Jake like that. Something in me definitely wanted to punch him, but I kept my cool. I wish I punched him though.

“I nearly punched Jake in the face today,” I tell Charlie when we’re in my bedroom after school. I don’t have a shift today, so Charlie and I decided to chill in my room instead to work on our music. Mitch did have one rule though; leave the door open. “What?!” he asks in a surprised squeak. “Yeah, he was waiting at my locker after lunch, saying he wanted to check up on me because,” I lower my voice for the next part, imitating Jake, “He wanted to check up on me because he knows my uncle’s passing was a year ago today.” Charlie furrows his eyebrows. “Jake sounds more like,” he squeaks out the next words as if his voice hadn’t dropped yet, “I’m checking up on you, Emily, because I am a jerk,” he goes back to his normal voice, “You know, because his balls haven’t dropped yet.” His comment makes me laugh. “Anyway, Madi was there too and she was like ‘It was a year ago last week, dumbass’ and then he stuttered a stupid apology, being like,” I cough and higher my tone, “I didn’t know.” “That’s better,” Charlie comments, plopping down onto his stomach on the bed, propping his head up with his hand, looking up at me. “Thanks,” I say proudly, “And then I was like ‘You did know, Jake. You broke up with me a year ago’, and Madi was like ‘yeah, dumbass!’ and then I went ‘So, stop bothering me and go back to your girlfriend’ and walked away but I so nearly punched him!” “You should’ve punched him,” Charlie agrees with me, and I halt in the middle of my room, right in front of him. He gives me this amused, smug grin, which just makes me proud of myself. His smile then turns to a scowl. “I wish Jeremy would’ve let me punch him.” “What would that solve, big guy?” I squat down to his height, placing my elbows on the bed. “Nothing, I’d just like to punch him.” I smile and plant a kiss to his nose. When I get up again, he captures me by my wrist, stopping me from walking away. “Are you okay? I can imagine seeing him wasn’t amazing after what he did to you.” “I’m fine, I had a minor panic when I saw him at my locker, but I’m fine.” “Come here, let’s cuddle!” He rolls onto his side and pulls me down. “No, Charlie, we have to finish this song!” I object but let him pull me next to him anyways. “Cuddle first, then we’ll work on the song.” We’re facing each other, our foreheads pressed together. His fingers reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear; a habit of his I’ve come to adore. “You’re beautiful, do you know that?” I roll my eyes at his compliment but can’t help the blush appearing on my cheeks. “You’re pretty too,” I reply instead, which makes him frown. “I am not!” He now just looks like an angry puppy. “Yeah, you are,” I tease. Charlie’s mouth drops open, eyes widening, and before I know it, his fingers attack my stomach with tickles, sending me into a laughing frenzy. “No, stop! Stop!” I wheeze out, trying to tear his hands of me. “Char, stop!” He obeys, and as my laughter dies down, I can’t help but notice the way he’s looking at me. A feeling of love and adoration fleets throughout my body, but my brain doesn’t dare to give my lips permission to say those three words at the tip of my tongue. It does, however, give them permission to take away the space between mine and his. “I’m so happy I met you, Em—” I know he nearly calls me ‘Emmy’, but stopped himself before he could. “Like, so happy,” he adds instead and kisses me again. Now I pull away after a few seconds, like I needed his lips to mull this over. “Charlie…” I whisper, combing away strands of hair from his forehead. “Call me Emmy.” His breath hitches in his throat before his lips curl up into the most beautiful smile I ever did see. “I’m so happy I met you, Emmy,” he repeats and then just kisses me again as I relish in the feeling of being able to hear that nickname again from a person I love.

After a cuddle and make-out session of about an hour, Charlie and I detangle – much to both our dismay – and start working on our song for Saturday. The one for Mitch. We’d come up with pretty much everything, it just misses a bridge. “What if we mix the pre-chorus with that second verse?” Charlie suggests, and starts singing. His voice raspy and low. “The times that I doubted myself I felt like I needed some help Stuck in my head, with nothing left” I join in now, our voices intertwining. “And when I feel lost and alone I know that I can make it home Fight through the dark” He smiles at me, “High note, go for it,” he says quickly, leaving the last line to me. “And find the spark,” I hit the high note effortlessly. “Yes!” Charlie exclaims excitedly, “Yo, I got chills, literal chills.” He shows me his arms, filled with goosebumps. “I can’t get over how talented you are, Ems.” He’s careful with the permission of the new nickname, I see. “Same goes for you, Charlie,” I compliment him and peck his lips as a reward of some kind. “Now with some guidance of the guitar, so we can show it to the boys tomorrow?” Charlie nods and grabs the guitar he brought from home or the garage. I haven’t talked to him about home yet. I’m too scared to. We sing it once with the guitar, and then start thinking about other instruments. “Let’s start with a bit of piano?” Charlie suggests, “And just you singing?” I nod my head in agreement. “Drums, electric guitar and bass join in at the chorus, but we don’t sing yet.” I raise my eyebrows at him, not entirely sure about that idea. “It’s your song for your uncle Mitch, Ems,” he reasons, and I can’t argue with him. Not that I don’t want to, but because he simply continues. “I’ll take the second verse?” “And Jeremy and you duet the pre-chorus, and then second chorus is all of us?” I chime in. “And we’ll alternate on the bridge?” Charlie nods his head. “Jere can guide on piano on the bridge.” “And you can hit them high notes during the last chorus when the boys join in again?” “Uhm, yeah, sure,” I reply, unsure about the high notes. I can hit a few, but I think he might overestimate my abilities a little. “This gig is going to be awesome, Emmy!” he exclaims excitedly and jumps up from the bed. “It’s a nice warm-up for my audition in a week,” I tell him absentmindedly as I write down all our ideas in my notebook. “YOUR AUDITION IS IN A WEEK?!” he yells loudly, making me jump. “Yeah, didn’t I tell you? Not this Saturday because Open Mic Night, you know, but the Saturday after that.” I don’t even look up at him until I feel the bed dip down. My eyes glance up at the boy kneeling on the bed in front of me. “You didn’t tell me that. You want me to be there?” He takes my hand in his and presses kisses to my knuckles. “Of course. I doubt I can do it without you supporting me from the sidelines.” His lips curl up until they very nearly reach his ears. “But first, Open Mic Night.” I turn to my songbook again and feel him kiss the top of my head before he gets off the bed again. His excitement is winding him up again, shooting balls of energy through his body until he becomes one. He even radiates that excitement when we have a band rehearsal on Friday when we show the boys the new song. “That sounds awesome, Emily!” Jeremy compliments giddily when we’re done explaining and showing. “Shall we open with that one?” All three of us agree with that idea. Then Charlie kisses me on the cheek when he walks past to grab his guitar. “Then Perfect Harmony?” he suggests, playing the first chords of the song on his acoustic. “I would end with Now or Never,” I chime in with my idea, which everyone agrees to. “Flying Solo third and Finally free straight after?” Owen goes on while I write them all down. “Are we allowed to play five songs?” Jeremy then asks, “I mean, we only played one the last time.” I feel one corner of my mouth tug upwards into a smirk. “I work here, Jere, of course we can.” A giggle eludes from his mouth. I love the boys’ excitement about everything. They often remind me of a huddle of excited puppies or curious squirrels. “Any other song we want to add?” “Ooh!” Charlie exclaims excitedly, “Do you want to do the song you played to that girl?” “Wake Up?” I ask, and he nods vigorously. “I mean, sure, but it’s been a while since I played that and it’s just piano though?” “It could be the song we play to emphasize the Emily in Emily and The Foxes?” Owen suggests, to which Charlie just nods his head again. “I’m not going to sing a song without you guys,” I tell them and move over to the piano. “Then we’ll add some drums and bass,” Jeremy sums up, and Charlie coughs as to tell his buddy not to forget about him, “And guitar.” “I mean… If you guys really want to do that…” “Yes! Babe, that song is amazing!” I’m a bit taken aback by the pet name Charlie uses. He suddenly goes from excited puppy to solemn, shy Charlie I’d seen appear a couple of times the first few days of meeting him. “That’s the song you played when I first laid eyes on you.” While Owen and Jeremy let out an ‘aw’, mostly to tease Charlie, I think, I smile up at Charlie. “It definitely has potential for a good Emily and The Foxes song, I guess?” I play the first few notes on the piano, being reminded of the song I wrote with Uncle Bobby. “And how about that Sirens song?” Owen asks, which makes me stop playing abruptly. “No, we can play Sirens at rehearsals, but not at gigs. I want to keep that song for us,” I answer determinedly. Owen simply nods, understanding what that song means to me. “So, for Saturday it’s Bright - Perfect Harmony – Flying Solo – Finally Free – Wake Up – Now or Never?” Jeremy asks, just for reassurance. “Yes,” Charlie and I say in unison. I’m still a little nervous about Wake Up, but I’m sure we’ll be fine after a couple of rehearsals. We even nailed Flying Solo after rehearsing for an hour and I know Wake Up by heart. “Are we nervous for our first official gig? Because I am,” Owen laughs nervously, wringing his hands. I pat the spot beside me on the bench in front of the piano, which he then takes, sighing nervously. I play a couple of notes, letting the melody flow out into the room. “I’m nervous too,” I tell him softly, “But I know as long as I have you guys, nothing can go wrong because you guys have my backs. Always,” I look up at him, but don’t stop playing. Owen offers me the sweetest smile ever. “We have each other’s backs, always.” He nods his head agreeingly. His arms snake around my waist as he hugs me sideways, and before I know it, Charlie has his arms around my neck and Jeremy’s hugging Owen. “See, I told you,” I whisper to the boy next to me. “We’ll be fine,” Owen reassures himself more than me, but it does work for me too. No matter what happens. We’ll always have each other. We’ll always be more than a band.

Taglist: @parkeret @lukeys-giggle @hannahhistorian92 @gingerxarmy @lovesanimals @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @ashleyleblancx @calamitykaty @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @lolychu @hemmingsness​ Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

[salexectrian-heir]

Loki: Chapter 9

Pairing: Solavellan Rating: E* (not every chapter is E, most are rated T. Chapters containing explicit content will be marked with an asterisk*) Summary: Lavellan rescued a mischievious sphynx kitten outside her work who loves her dearly. But his destructive habits start to get out of hand when he steals her attractive neighbor’s underwear… repeatedly. [Previous Chapter]      [Read on AO3]

“Honestly, I think you should quit your job and be a chef, or one of those stay at home hipster-food bloggers that instagrams all their meals and gets sponsored by food industry monopolies.”

This earned her one of those rare and coveted chuckle-snorts she had grown attached to. She peered at him from over her shoulder where she stood in front of his kitchen sink, cleaning up the dishes of their--once again brilliant--grilled shrimp taco dinner. It had been over two weeks, since they had their first formal dinner together, since they slept together. A make-up of sorts for missing out on celebrating the new year. Naturally, the E.R. was filled with those who had made not so wise choices, blown off parts of their bodies with fireworks they should not have been setting off...and thus Anise was other was preoccupied. Solas had agreed to feed Loki for her while she was called away. So at least that spoiled brat got a new year’s kiss. Her heart fluttered when he met her gaze, lips pulling into a smirk where he sat lounging on his couch.

“There is only one problem,” he said, pouring them each another glass of wine from a fresh bottle. They had already killed one during dinner. “I don’t have an instagram.”

She shifted her weight and placed a hand on her hip. “Then how do you post all your mundane life updates?”

“Facebook?” He shrugged as she let out a mocking hiss of disapproval, “I don’t use it that often. Not much occurs in my life that demands a social media update.”

“Well, you should friend request me anyway so I can post random updates on your wall for you.”

Another tipsy chuckle and a smile that reached his eyes. “I’m sure you would.”

Dropping the towel she had been using to dry the counter, she made her way over to settle on the couch beside him. She swiped her glass from his extended hand and tucked her feet beneath her.

“What you don’t want to be connected?” she teased as he glanced down at his wine. “Are you still friends with an ex that would stalk me or something?”

His whole body went still.

“I was joking,” she playfully shoved him with her foot, and it brought a small smile back on his face.

“Joking as it were, you are...not entirely wrong.”

She stared at him expectantly. “Go on.”

“It’s complicated.”

He made to stand but she caught him by the elbow. He send a sideways glance towards her, a hint of apprehension in his eyes behind the mirth.

“Oh no, you don’t get out of that so easily.”

He sighed and brought his fingers to steeple over his flushed face. “My life revolves around my work."

“I know."

“Literally. My social circle, including my previous romantic relationships…” He straightened, his hands knotting together in his lap. “One more reason I was hesitant to get involved with you. I do not want to subject you, or anyone, to the chaos that is my life. My last relationship was a mistake. One I never should have made.”

“As they often are.”

“But because we work together... “ he exhaled sharply, “that’s not accurate. Because I work for her, I am still in frequent contact. It’s a bit a of a mess.”

She choked on her wine. “ You’ve slept with your boss, too ?”

Surprise rippled over his face at her outburst. “What?”

“Oh we’ll delve into my romantic disaster history in a minute. Please continue, you have a lot to unpack here.” She smiled behind her glass of wine, and nudged him again with her foot. “Go on, I want to hear this story.”

“Oh, no I would love to hear anything you have to say this point,” he turned to face her, tucking one leg beneath him, mirroring her position, “because what I’m about to say next will make everything worse.”

She opened her mouth and closed it again. She decided putting wine in it was the best course of action and so she drained her glass. “Nope, you gotta finish embarrassing yourself first. Then I’ll layout my baggage.”

“I warned you,” his mouth split into a chagrined smile as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I got involved with the Chief Operating Officer.”

Anise gasped and immediately clasped a hand over her mouth, “The C.O.O.? Solas!”

“I was young and stupid and it lasted far longer than it should have. And of course, like all things doomed to fail, it got out. Her husband found out--”

“ Her husband!?”

“The CEO.”

“You’re playing with me right now.”

“No, I am being honest.” The humor left his voice. “It’ not even a subject we should be laughing over… but…” He drug a hand over his face, wiping  away the fragment of a smile from the moment before. “For once I am able to talk about it without hating myself, so that must count for something.”

Anise said aside her empty wine glass and scooted closer to him on the couch.

“Sorry I pried. I didn’t mean to open up things better left--”

“It’s okay. I should talk about these things.” He allowed her to take his hand in her own. “The point was that we are all connected on social media as well. I would like to just keep this new part of my life, my life with you , private. Something I don’t have to share with the world that demands every second of my existence.”

“Is this why you choose to live here, and commute to Arlathan?”

He nodded. “Obviously there were repercussions for our actions. I was demoted. She was suspended from her position. And that caused a lot of unrest in the company. She was admired by many. I was blamed for her downfall. And in a way, I am directly responsible.”

“What were you before a rep?”

“I worked in the labs. It’s where my true talent lies.” He shrugged. “But my clearances have been revoked and I was repurposed, as was she. Apparently we were still valuable enough to the company to be tethered and leashed for the last five years. Or perhaps it is a punishment.”

“Why don’t you just quit?” When he didn’t say anything she felt the need to add, “I’m being serious, Solas. If they’re treating you this badly, and it makes you this unhappy, walk away .”

“Could you walk away from your job after a major mistake knowing you might be able to fix , or make a difference?

Her heart dropped into her stomach. “No. I couldn’t.”

“Yes, the company itself is corrupt but the medicine they create saves lives. I used to be a part of that process.” He squeezed her hand. “I created this mess. My pride won’t just let me walk away from it.”

He may be a stubborn fool, but now he’s my stubborn fool.

“I want you to know that I’ll support you--no matter what you stubbornly choose to do.”

“You may regret that.”

A brief moment of silence enveloped them, each lost in their own thoughts.

“I also, have made some… less than wise decisions. And that is saying it nicely.” His thumb began idly tracing designs on the back of her hand as she spoke, and it gave her courage.

Here goes nothing.

She took a deep breath. “I was engaged, once.”

He sat up a little straighter, giving her his full attention. “You were?”

“Yeah,” with her free hand she tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear, “clearly didn’t end well.”

“Otherwise we wouldn’t be here.”

They shared a quiet laugh. “Hah, exactly.”

“Was it to your boss…?”

“Oh creators, no.” she shook her head vehemently. “A man from my clan. Arranged marriage type thing.” He stared at her sympathetically. “We wanted to start a family... but I…. we had a falling out and he cheated, I didn’t handle it well, I decided to go to med school instead, something that would take a long time and basically give me an excuse to never go home and...”

Face reality. Face the loss of a child, of a family. Too much, too painful. Change the subject, this is one for another time.

“The boss story though, that was more recent.” She changed the subject, adjusting her legs so she was sitting cross legged.  “ I got involved with one of the attendings when I was just starting out as an intern. Not my brightest moment. It was messy, and I quickly realized he was entangled with many other people, and not just me. It was a shock but once I figured it out I ended my part in it.”

If he noticed the abrupt topic switch, he made no comment. “Which attending did you sleep with?”

She cocked her head to the side. “Do you think you know him?”

“I might,” he gave a small smile.

“Anders is a remarkable doctor. I swear the entirety of his personal life puts your sleeping with your boss story to shame.”

That made Solas laugh, a real one this time. “I do know him.”

Anise blanched. “Oh, gods.”

Solas’ mouth curved into a teasing smile as one brow arched. “I’m surprised to hear the hospital staff fraternize so… frequently.”

“We’re not supposed to, but when you spend a sixteen hour high stress shift literally inside someone together...well…” she gestured with her free hand. “It happens. It’s a cesspool honestly. Every week I’m trying to figure out who’s sleeping with who so I don’t step on toes or accidentally out a relationship. It’s tiring.”

“I can imagine. No wonder you always look so wiped when you come home, avoiding all those bleeding hearts.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Admirable.”

She shoved him with her shoulder, a blush beginning to color her cheeks. “Stop.”

Leaning his elbow on the back of the couch, he propped his head up with his hand. “I just divulged a secret that would have sent any sensible person running from my apartment. And yet, you’re still here.”

“I pretend to have my life together, but it’s a mess.” A soft smile formed on her lips. “And yet you keep inviting me back.”

He gave a small shake of his head before he reached for her face, cupping her jaw in the palm of his hand as he leaned towards her. “As is mine, and yet you keep staying.”

His lips brushed her own.  She unfurled her limbs and slid her arms around his neck, pulling him gently down over her on the couch. He shifted to lay between her legs that wrapped around his hips once he had settled.

Pressing her mouth to his she whispered, “I never claimed to be sensible.” His tongue darted between her lips, coaxing a moan from her. “I don’t plan on starting to be now, either.”

[bethsblog-languageandnewmed-blog]

My Online Communities

It’s no secret that although Facebook is the most popular social networking site with over 2.3 billion active users, and was once the must have social media site, it has kind of become synonymous with middle-aged women over-sharing, re-runs of the same old Tasty videos, and pretty much just ad-central. Though one of the longest standing social networks and clearly the front runner when it comes to longevity and popularity, the site is full of affordances and constraints, with the majority of them, constraints as many argue that Facebook is pretty outdated - but I’m here to argue the opposite. I have more recently become aware of some of the innovative ways people have adapted Facebook’s widespread “popularity” - as let’s face it, it’s hard to find anyone under the age of 50 that doesn’t have their own Facebook account. And though young people may argue that this is a huge constraint (because who wants their nosey Auntie spying on their every move?) the fact that people of all ages, from all walks of life is actually, when it comes to online communities, is a huge affordance.  

Facebook is being adapted in really innovative ways to keep up with the times and provide us with communicative tools to achieve things that were never before possible. Pretty deep? Yes. True? Absolutely. 

If you think I’m being a bit vague - I’m talking about online communities. Boyd and Ellison (2008) stated that social networking sites are “web based service[s] that allows individuals to... articulate a list of other users with whom they share a connection, and view and traverse their list of connections and those made by others within the system.” As soon as I read this I was reminded that I myself, am a member of three specific “online communities” in particular, each with their own very different purposes.

These groups and the media they share are rich in content, with the ability to react to posts, use polls and of course emojis, restricting the constraint of context and allow users to communicate how they are feeling with almost no ambiguity: this in itself has affordances and constraints - because I don’t think many people would be too pleased with a “sad” or “angry” react on a personal post, or a “haha” react on a sad story - so this can bring problems, but these are in the small minority. These little “reacts” are a great tool to eliminate the constraint of contextualisation and are used in my online communities consistently. 

GIRLSMOUTH

Now girls, if you haven’t heard of this one, let me tell you, you’re missing out on some top quality entertainment. In a nutshell, Girlsmouth is a private Facebook group that is strictly girls only. At the time of writing this, the group has 171,146 members, consisting of four admins and six moderators, who monitor the comments of posts they have approved to ensure that there is no selling, promotion, or horrible comments being made. The “founder” of the group, Chloe Todd, describes the group as;

“an empowering support group for women to bring females together rather than bash each other. #girlpower 💁🏼”

The purpose of the group is for members to post for advice, gain support and build relationships with one another. All women are welcome which means that the posts come from women all over the globe, wealthy or struggling, young and old. An example of a post made today is below, within an hour already 28 people have commented offering advice, regardless of the transaction costs of the “conversation” and of over 170,000 people having the ability to see and judge them on their advice and experiences: 

On the whole, the group is very supportive and many members have actually built real life friendships as a result of coming in contact on the site. It is not uncommon for women to post their struggles - whether that be regarding their health, relationship  or financial struggles, and many will come to their aid, offering support and even in some examples, a place to stay, money to tide them over and offerings of friendship to people at their lowest points. 

After being on the group for a while, you start to recognise names and faces and become familiar with people’s stories and struggles and even become a bit invested in some of the stories - a particular stand-out story to me is a girl that has been in hospital for over 13 months now, who has been sharing her story and the challenges shes faced.

Not all the stories are inspirational and moving, and to be honest, this is what I love most about this online community. When trying to find examples of posts to add it took me over thirty minutes to find at least five acceptable ones for an academic blog: I’m talking posts that didn’t mention polls on sexual encounters, disgusting flat mates and family meltdowns and every swear word in the book. As well as these, random questions about people’s favourite foods and make-up are regular features, but that’s all part of life too and really reiterates the idea that people come to Girlsmouth looking to connect and relate to others. I can guarantee now matter how wild or weird your story or post, there will be a group of women on Girlsmouth ready to relate to you. And that’s what makes Girlsmouth so great at what it does - and a huge source of entertainment.

In summary, Girlsmouth is pretty much the best procrastination there is. But aside from that, it reminds us that whilst social media may be full of unattainable goals - whether this be in our appearance, holidays, relationships of financial situations, at the end of the day, we are all just human, and we could all do with a bit of advice and support sometimes - even if it is just about which Diet Coke tastes best (which is obviously full fat instead...)

READING WOMEN WALKING HOME

The second online community I am part of is a pretty new development, and if you live in Reading (which considering this is a university blog, is all of you) you need to join this group. With 2538 members, including University of Reading security team member Steve, this group was created with the purpose of warning other women about the strange and worrying behaviour of members of the public to ensure we can all stay safe. Unfortunately, there are multiple new posts daily, with women experiencing harassment, break-ins and burglaries on a daily basis. 

Some may argue that this group does nothing but scaremonger, possibly stating that ignorance is bliss, as they say - but I couldn’t disagree more. As women it is our duty to stand together in the face of such adversities, and in a world where we are at risk simply from walking home from a lecture in the middle of the day, no precaution is too much. This feeling of support and community is exactly what we need when facing these issues.

Thankfully, this support group is not just something that is happening at our university. The group was inspired by The Tab newspapers article on another “Women Walking Home” group chat. As well as a page for women to join, there is also a Facebook messenger group chat in which members are encouraged to message if they feel unsafe so another member can ring them on their walk home in another selfless offering of support, between women with weak and strong ties alike. Some may argue that this group isn’t entirely inclusive because it is heavily orientated towards females, but this doesn’t stop the group from being an online community, as these are defined as a tool to enable users to “ articulate a list of other users with whom they share a connection” (Boyd and Ellison, 2008) as aforementioned, and typically, males don’t get approached in this way. Males are present on the group as I have mentioned, in the form of the university security team. In fact, them joining the group could be a positive step, so that they are aware of what is going on, but this could also be negative as this could allow the members of the public who are engaging in this behaviour to become aware of the location of users and thus perpetuate the problem. So, in some cases, being inclusive of both genders is not of upmost importance.

This online community and utilisation of social media is a huge affordance of Facebook and social media, showcasing an amazing and innovative way to use the sites to stay safe. It’s also a great example of the constant development of social media and how we can use these advancements in everything we do. Which begs the question, is Facebook really as outdated and boring as everyone says?

LOST AND FOUND PETS IN BRISTOL/SOUTH GLOS

Finally, a group I have been a member of for a few years now: Lost and Found Pets in Bristol/South Gloucestershire. This group really epitomises the affordances of social media for me. With 30,208 members, this group is responsible for re-uniting thousands of lost, found and stolen pets with their owners, as well as re-homing pets with no where to go. The idea behind it is simple.

Lost an animal? Found an animal? 

Simply post a picture, location or description and the tens-of-thousands of members will get to work for you.

Due to the longevity of the group, members and admin have a great relationship with one another, and its a recipe for success. Admin are aware of members and their location so that when an animal or pet goes missing or pops up in their area, someone can be on site ASAP. It really is as simple and effective as that. The admins are so invested in the page that they have been known to recognise pets that have gone missing years prior when their little furry face pops up on their feed - with one cat and owner being re-united after eight years! EIGHT! This group proves that miracles really can, and do, happen.

Never have I lost a pet (thank goodness) but the sheer thought of losing my dogs motivated me to join this group to ensure that if I ever do, I know that 30,000 people in Bristol are aware of it almost instantaneously and can assist in my search, with success. In 2015, 7000 pets were reunited with their owners from the group alone - even pets with no microchip are often re-united purely from the work of this group! If that doesn’t convince you that Facebook can be used for good, I don’t know what can. I think that it is a priceless and hugely innovative way to use social media - gone are the days of soggy “LOST” posters stapled to lamp-posts and trees and loss of reunion hope. 

In summary, These communities are characterised by their complex nesting structure but this complexity and structure is what makes these groups so diverse, and so great: the variety of connections made possible by these communities is unparalleled. The media richness and participant framework within these groups, one many times a global level, allows users to be bound together by a common interest, concern or topic and though they may have no personal relationship with other users, referred to as weak ties, this factor doesn’t restrict their capacity to offer advice or engage in conversation, with mavens: who are people with access to things that are beneficial to others, and connectors: people who act as bridges for the facilitation of these things, working together to achieve positivity, costly or not.  

These communities are the future of Facebook.

Dunbar’s number, who? We have thousands of online friends now.

Boyd, D., & Ellison, N. (2008). Social Network Sites: Definition, History, and Scholarship. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication. 13, 210-230.

[jenniferfaye34]

#Giveaway + Excerpt ~ Movies, Moonlight, and Magic by January Bain... #books #mystery #amreading

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. January Bain will be awarding a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Book two in the Manitoba Tea and Tarot Mysteries series Charm McCall can solve a small-town murder, but can she figure out how to stop a man-stealing interloper? A movie production company has come to town…and so has an old family friend of the town’s sexy new Mountie, Ace Collins. His “old pal” turns out to be a scheming long-legged blonde who throws Charm right off her game. Even Auntie T.J. playing the bagpipes down Main Street to drive the trespasser away doesn’t work. Between catering for the world’s hungriest film crew, trying to solve the murder of the unit accountant who hired her and dealing with her new magical gifts, Charm’s a tad busy. But too bad, because she’s soon facing off against a bigger threat when more people become ill with suspected poisoning—and her own sister’s in the crosshairs. Charm’s left wondering if even Agatha Christie could have seen this one coming. But with so much working against them—including the whole town being dead set against them consummating their relationship—do Charm and Ace stand a chance?

AVAILABLE ON

KINDLE

Read an Excerpt: He stuck out his hand for a shake and I was blessed with the dampest paw on the planet, accompanied by a zinger of an image. Howard cared about every penny because he was embezzling company funds, meaning there would be less to steal if I made a decent profit. Sometimes I wished Granny Toogood hadn’t banned swearing—I had a few apt descriptors for this weaselly dealer. I also hoped she was feeling better. The doctor had advised a few days of rest and that had me worried. Instead, I narrowed my eyes at him and he slid his hand from mine. Yuck. I dried my palm by rubbing it discreetly down the side of my jeans, half hidden by my Tea & Tarot apron. “Can you start tomorrow?” he asked, his desperation leaking through, making his face shiny with sweat. Probably because the only other quote he most likely got today far exceeded ours. Guaranteed. The Husky Service on the highway did some catering, but they didn’t come cheap. And their bakery goods came out of pre-frozen tubs and boxes. We prided ourselves on everything fresh baked, from scratch—my fingernails were reduced to rubble from constant work. Proof positive. “Tomorrow! So soon?” All the nerves in my body slammed into high gear. There was so much to do to prepare for such a large undertaking. Could it even be done that quickly? “We’d really appreciate it. Might even find you a bit part in the movie.” It wasn’t the incentive he expected—I just shook my head, giving his start date some thought. Sometimes it was best to jump into things, otherwise I’d never do it. I just prayed I could pull it off and do my family and our town proud. “Okay, but minus the movie walk-on.” The relief on his face made me smile, despite his weaselly-ness. The café door opened abruptly and in strode a young man dressed in expensive dark-wash jeans and a tight black T-shirt clothing a wiry, thin body, his face a study in annoyance. “Howard, I need to speak with you right now. Don’t think you can just get up and walk out on me, mister.” His hand on his hip pressed his case. Howard’s face darkened to a dull red. “Chace, this is not the time or the place. Go. I’ll catch up with you later.” The man looked as though he was going to object before he about-faced and left. His one-finger salute, reflected in the front window before he pranced away, was not in the best taste. Hmm. Good thing Granny wasn’t around to cut him down to size. In the nicest, politest way of course—she could make the worst villain tippy-toe around her. Probably ask him if he needs the finger for anything other than being rude. “Please excuse my friend. He’s not himself today.” “Oh, who is he then?” Howard gave me a blank stare. Baby Ling Ling sauntered in, grabbing my attention as she always announced her arrival with a loud greeting, or warning, depending on how her day was going. Our spectacular white Himalayan with her adorable squished-in face and apricot-colored ears, fluffy tail raised high, proceeded to choose her steps with the utmost care across the tiled floor of the café. I’d guess it was in case we’d had the bad manners to add a trap door since yesterday’s saunter. She deigned to notice the new visitor, striding over and giving him a quick sniff. She jumped a couple of feet in the air with a loud howl, her fluffy white fur standing straight on end as though she’d placed her paw on an electrical charge. “Hiss.” She made herself as big as a tiny eight-pound cat could make herself, arched her back and continued the hissing. “Nice cat,” Howard deadpanned. “Careful what you say to her. Ling Ling’s officially multi-lingual since our librarian, Miriam, added Portuguese to her weekly slate of free language lessons.” I just couldn’t resist, not liking his look of disdain. Or his cheapness that was certain to affect our bottom line. His look of confusion was quite satisfying. He gave Ling Ling a wide berth and headed for the door. “Okay, then, we’ll expect you tomorrow? You’ll get paid once a week, just come by my office and I’ll cut you a check. Oh, and the camp’s out by Spirit Springs.” He paused, his hand on the doorknob, obviously needing confirmation. “Yes, I know where the camp is, and the food will be there. You can count on the McCall family. We never go back on our word.” I gave him a level look that he declined to return. A nervous twitch of his nose and he hopped out of the café. “That guy has a blackish aura with streaks of gray,” Tulip said, pursing her lips. “Yeah, no surprise—he’s working under a brain cloud.” I didn’t want to say the words embezzling cocaine addict out loud and sink the project before it started. “And since when did you start seeing auras?” And what was I going to do with the unwanted knowledge that the guy was stealing company funds? A moral dilemma. I shouldn’t think that was business as normal, even for the movie industry. About the Author:

January Bain has wished on every falling star, every blown-out birthday candle, and every coin thrown in a fountain to be a storyteller. To share the tales of high adventure, mysteries, and full blown thrillers she has dreamed of all her life. The story you now have in your hands is the compilation of a lot of things manifesting itself for this special series. Hundreds of hours spent researching the unusual and the mundane have come together to create books that features strong women who live life to the fullest, wild adventures full of twists and unforeseen turns, and hot complicated men who aren’t afraid to take risks. She can only hope her stories will capture your imagination. If you are looking for January Bain, you can find her hard at work every morning without fail in her office with her furry baby, Ling Ling. And, of course, she’s married to the most romantic man! Who once famously remarked to her inquiry about buying fresh flowers for their home every week, “Give me one good reason why not?” Leaving her speechless and knocking her head against the proverbial wall for being so darn foolish. She loves flowers. If you wish to connect in the virtual world she is easily found on Facebook. Oh, and she loves to talk books… Blog: http://januarybainjourney.blogspot.ca/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/JanuaryBain Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/january.bain Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6437282.January_Bain Totally Bound: https://www.totallybound.com/book/movies-moonlight-and-magic Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Movies-Moonlight-Magic-Manitoba-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B07VQ8S65W/ref=sr_1_4 a Rafflecopter giveaway

[intelligentautisticmedia-blog]

Autistic Community Manifesto Part 1: Us Autistics Chapter 1: Autistic Brotherhood by Charles McIntyre

Prelude: 

Greetings fellow Autistics, I am Charles McIntyre, I am 26 and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Autism) when I was 4. My greatest strengths are Hyper Empathy, being analytical, seeing details and patterns others miss and word-smithing.

My greatest struggles are connecting with people, executive dysfunction, SPD, CAPD. I officially formed the group Call "Intelligent Autistic Media" in April 2017. Our mission statement is to spread 1. Autistic Pride 2.) Encourage and instruct Autistic Self Advocacy 3.) Defeat Anti-Autistic stigma and myths, 4.) Encourage and instruct NT Ally ship 5.) Improve the lives of Autistics and their families as much as possible.

               I run this Facebook Group has at this about 380 members and we have been active for almost a year. We are an okay group, but I have not been as a successful leader as would like to be. I believe this to be because I my struggles with struggles with executive dysfunction and my inability to connect to people in an effective and consistently. In short, I am more a creative, ambitious visionary, than a leader and organizer.

So, I decided to write this sort of "Manifesto of Campaigns" as way to offer up a list of campaigns and initiatives I believe could elevate the status of the Autistic Community and solve some of our problems. It is hope that this manifesto will inspire various members of the community to time, resources, and talents to execute the fore mentioned project and initiatives. I feel like success hinges on ability to organize and mobilize. With our collaboration and unity can we ever hope to overcome NT supremacy. I am not sure if everybody will agree to all my ideas, but I am throwing them out there regardless. If you do find ideas appealing, please contact me. I hope to set up some collaborations.  If you have any constructive criticisms, please elaborate. If you don’t have anything of meaning to add please ignore and scroll pass.

 Part 1: Us Autistic Chapter 1: Autistic Brotherhood 

Now, as were particularly diverse demographic of exceedingly unique individuals, unification is of   course easier said than done.  I would propose constitution or a share list of demands. As often have embracive personalities and none of us like to walk on eggshells we try to be patient with each other as much as we and agree to interact with a shared written code of ethics or social guidelines

Here is an example of such a code: 1.) If you are not of groups demographic stay in your lane. Ie don't talk about something that you don't understand. 2.) If you post something covers anything that may cause someone a panic attack or extreme discomfort; ie Sexual assault, violence, bigotry ect... ad a Trigger warning. 3.) If you post anything that has possible uncomfortable subject matter or contents; ie swearing, sex, sensory issues ect ad a content warning. 4.) Do not use sarcasm or hyperbole or otherwise confusing language.  5.) While in debate or disagreement do not assume hostility unless it is blatant. You maybe projecting or overthinking. Try asking the other person to clarify.  6.) Try to stay on topic with the post while commenting. 7.) If you see a post or comment that upsets you or that you disagree with scroll past it unless you deem it necessary.  8.) When engaging in a debate be polite and avoid using vulgar language or name calling.  9.) Walk away from an argument if it gets to heated. 10.) If someone does not want to argue, don't drag them back into thread by tagging them. This is harassment. 11.) Do not play mind games or gaslight. This is harassment. 12.) Conversing with multiple people use tags to distinguish to whom you speak.

  First and foremost, though, we must spread Autistic Pride and self-love. I did not want to admit to having any connection to my fellow Autistics until I was able to accept my own Autism. Even now sometimes I get discouraged and wish I was different. I think Autistic self-defecation should thought as virus that we must try to remedy as soon as possible lest it spread through toxic interaction. This does not we shove pride down are fellow Autistics’ throats, but we must always strive to encourage and uplifting whenever possible.  This again would require us to mutually patient with each other.

One idea I have for unification is reject any ideas that we can be or should be Neuro-typical. We shall not try to be what are not. In do this we should reject Neuro-typical social customs viewpoints. We should instead develop our own Autistic social customs and viewpoints. Thus, establishing Autistic social culture.

 As we all know functioning labels divide, silence and stigmatize people across the autistic community. The simplest fly, generalize, and stereotype the experiences of all autistic people. We must never let the neuro- typicals force them on us nor any other autistic. At the same time however, we must be sensitive to the two different ways autistic people struggle. We must never imagine that our experience with autism the same as anyone else’s experience with lot. To demonstrate this point, I’m going to exemplify to members of the autistic community with very different forms of autism without relying on functioning labels.

               Many of us know of John Elder Robinson. He is the author of such books as “look me in the eye”, “be different” and others. In both books, he talks about his struggles and talents. Some of his struggles include sensory processing disorder, social ineptness, aversion to eye contact and possibly executive dysfunction. There is natural engineering talents and creativity, he was able to leave home, find employment, incomplete independence, at age 16. (He also grew up in a different time).

 This contrasts with the experiences of Carly Fleishman. Carly, who is a brilliant young woman, is a brilliant writer, and has developed quite the charming TV personality has struggles and talents very different to Mr. Robinson. In the memoir she wrote with her father Arthur Fleischman; “Finding Carly’s Voice” Carly is described as being nonverbal, having episodes of intense sensory overload, as well as experiencing more extreme meltdowns and coping with more prominent stemming. Throughout her early in adolescent years Carly has been sent to live in a variety of institutions designed for people with her type of autism. Before she learned to effectively type, or diagnosis also included intellectual impairment. She has recently been nominated for a reward called a “Shorty”, but I am uncertain if she has managed to live independent yet.

Essentially what I’m saying is, we must give recognition to struggles and talents of the Carly Fleishman’s, the John Elder Robinson’s, the Naoki  Higashida’s, Stephen Wiltshire’s and everyone else in between in the autistic spectrum. It might be most convenient, we mapped out different types of autistic. This way be as crude was insensitive as functioning labels but would be more like 16 personality types. It would provide some symbolic shorthand to understand the person struggle and strength, without knowing everything about that person.

                 If we do not commit ourselves to encouraging self-advocacy and union ship in cooperation with people throughout different autism types, if we say, “oh yes, I am autistic, but I don’t want to be associated with these autistics, because I’m not freak like them,” then we are not really better than those neuro- typical bigots alienate, and discriminate against us. We autistics are also all we have. We must be inclusive as possible to maximize our numbers. If we cannot be inclusive to towards our own people how can we expect neuro- typicals to be inclusive towards us?

                 Once we have figured out way to bring empowerment, self-love and pride to people across the spectrum must also remember to be intersectional. Intersectional means that while we focus on autistic issues, make ourselves aware that people with identities other than autistic marginalized in different ways and therefore may have different struggles. To illustrate example, I once got accosted with a police officer because he suspected me of smoking cannabis at a town dance. The truth is my eyes were red because I was crying. I couldn’t look him in the eye, because I am in fact autistic and my ability to look people in the eye diminishes as I get more nervous. He thought I was lying in my have arrested me of his partner had pulled him away as he pulled away he shouted, “if you’re lying to me 10 times worse!” Now this was not my only encounter with police. Not my only misunderstanding. It is very common for autistic people to have some dealings police either as a victim or as a suspect. As we are autistic, it can be difficult to be out how to figure these situations and police sir severely under trained to understand or accommodate autistic people. While this incident was fortunate, I will tell you, that would ruin been worse if I were Black. Police tend to unjustly patrol black neighborhoods more and act more hostile towards people of color. If I had been black is much more possible that I would have been arrested and/or beaten by the police. Being intersectional means that we are sensitive to such issues of extra vulnerability to autistics who have extra vulnerability due to belonging to another marginalized demographic.

                 Being intersectional means that as leaders we do not let the members of our community indulge in any form of bigotry. Mustn’t allow any; racism, six them/misogyny, homophobia, trans-phobia, ablism, Islam phobia, anti-Semitism, classism or any other form of bigotry. (If we criticize any creed or religion we must be careful not to act discriminatory against all the members of that said creed or religion. For example: is perfectly fine to criticize Christianity and other religions for things that homophobia, trans-phobia, misogyny, racism and ablism Etc. but we cannot take this out on a random Christian. We should be accepting of people of differing creed identities under the condition that they are accepting of people different identities as well. Again, if we are not willing to be accepting of people from demographics that are different from us, if we indulge ourselves in bigotry, we are no different than those neuro- typical bigots that alienate discriminate against us.

                 Once we formed an all-inclusive and all accepting that all intersectional, autistic community we must strengthen it. We need people to feel pride. To do this we must remind people that autism is a pervasive condition meeting affects every aspect of a person. This means that while your struggles are because autism strengths and talents and expertise is also thanks to autism. We must also remind those autistics who have not found self-acceptance, of those autistics across the spectrum are found major success. Again, self-pride is necessary to push one’s self forward on a tough road ahead.

It will also be important for autistics to be experts in autism. We must do this to best understand ourselves and spread awareness to others. Also, I want us all to be old to really drive it home to those neuro- typicals who believe they understand autism better in anyone else that we are the ultimate experts. And we understand autism in ways that no one else can possibly can.

 One of the most important things for everyone in the autistic community to know how to do is self-allocate. I will go over this in more detail in a future chapter. It should go without saying that is a tool that carves our path to self-empowerment and control of our own destiny. Self-efficacy is something that autistic children should learn from an early age. We must never allow members of her community to be apologetic for being autistic.

One interesting person has memorized the basics of self-advocacy, they are ready to graduate to social political activism for the entire autistic community. I will also go into more detail on such ideas in a later chapter. Basically, we must make sure people the autistic community are aware of the political and activism tools out their disposal. We must help make sure members over community are aware of how they are being marginalized and how their community the daily subject of social political discussion whether they like to acknowledge it or not. A shocking number of autistics seem to be oblivious facts. Thing to consider is while autism can make it difficult to stand up for oneself against an oppressor, we all must learn to do so.

 This has been chapter 1 of my autism community manifesto. And I discussed basic folkways autistics should apply to themselves to get along with the community, how to make sure the community stays all-inclusive and intersectional, how people in the community should be proud aware of their own autism now they should learn how to self-advocate and eventually politically activate for the community. I hope you found it useful so far or at least provocative. Next chapter will discuss stuff out is the and social political activism in greater detail. Until then, this has been Charles McIntyre, power and peace to the community!