#yes I have covid still
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Alright y'all, come gather round, come to my corner over here. Come help strategize with me.
I'm not going to be able to afford to send out holiday cards this year. I've been hit with disaster after disaster and I've been trying very hard to figure out how to work things but the math isn't coming out in my favour no matter how I swing it. Am I devastated? Absolutely. Even though most of you get your cards in like... March... you all still send me the nicest most kind comments and I love being able to make your day brighter.
I feel like a few people are going to say I should take donations, and I might've considered that, except... I don't want to take donations only to then still fall short.
A quick summary of the math is, like, stamps are 2$ for international cards and 1.50$ for non-international. I send out about 200 cards a year which means shipping alone is about 550$, plus about 200$ for sticker sheets, 70$ for envelopes, 150$ for printing the cards, and about 200$ for the everything else of new blades and mats for cutting the dolls on my cricut, thick paper for the dolls, ink for the printer... I'm sorry guys, there's no way I could try to ask people to donate over 1000$ just for this fun little event.
So like. Truly devastated over here as I'm doing the math because I desperately desperately do not want to disappoint people. I'm not even buying irl people presents this year. It sucks. I'm feeling like a failure in a lot of ways and I hate it, because I'm over thirty now, I should be able to have my shit together. But unfortunately I just... don't. And I'm trying to make sure I can afford my cats medication and rent because my roommate has been out of a job for two months and is just straight up not paying her part of the rent.
So. I will continue to feel sorry for myself, but this isn't about that. What I want to know is what ideas do we have. I can't send people physical things, because money. But are there... other ways I could make people happy? I don't know if anyone cares about digital paper dolls, but I could just like. Put my dolls online for people to print out? And draw whatever outfits people want? Like a sort of advent calendar of doll outfits?
Help me out. Brainstorm with me. Is there some way I could make people happy that, this year, doesn't involve funds? I want to keep my 1D Holiday Queen title. Please.
#yes I have covid still#so i have not even been doing inktober#I DO NOT LIKE THIS I FEEL LIKE I AM FAILING SEVERAL WAYS#I THOUGHT I WOULD BE PAST THE BURNOUT BY NOW BUT IT TURNS OUT BURNOUT IS MADE WORSE BY NOT HAVING MONEY#im sorry i am totally using this space to vent#and I am trying not to i am trying to be an adult about all this#but also i have not really Talked to a Person In Person in 3 days#so i might be going a little insane by now#WOOOOO CHRISTMAS
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cant believe ive never said this on here but i strongly believe marinette smells like sweets/baked goods/food and adrien smells like flowers/whatever else similar of the sort(save for the camembert rotting in his pockets)
i dont know i just wanted to say that, i cant even smell that well why i do i care
#my sense is smell is like dwindled idk why#even before covid so its not that#its not like its GONE i can still definitely smell just not as well as other people#anyway#can i post random headcanons?#well yes i can i have free will and im american RAHHHHHHH#also ive already been doing that#you guys care about what i have to say or nah?#i hope people read the tags i usually have a lot to say#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#adrien agreste#miraculous lb#mlb#ml#marinette dupain cheng
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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it’s as if ppl have forgotten others will lie for money and attention lol like sorry but I don’t believe a word some random tour guide says (even if it’s confirming my ship!) esp when it’s literally just reiterating what we already have heard misha say about the pre-covid heaven reunion but with random added embellishments to act like there’s “new” info on top of what we already know. also idk why anyone is celebrating that ending, it’s still so shitty like dean only able to “accept” his sexuality once he’s DEAD in heaven ??? When he’s been bisexual on our screens openly flirting with men and doing dudes since the 90s??? Get out of here with that bullshit lmao
#heaven endgame hater forever. this is not a win to me lmaoo and also I’m sorry but ppl lose all sense of critical thinking skills#when it comes to finale conspiracies#this man would not have had the PRE COVID ENDING scripts#the scripts were changed long before filming and this random man would not have had those earlier scripts at all#all we know is that pre-covid there was going to be a bigger reunion and misha was meant to be in that scene as either Cas or 'jimmy'#(which i don't believe it was every jimmy. i just think misha couldn't say it was meant to be cas the first time he told the story)#anyways. yes it’s fun to think abt there potentially being more destiel but that ending still would have been lukewarm and CW censored#and it still would've ended their story with them being perma-dead#and i just think both characters deserve more than that#vic.txt
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cw: pet death mention
the whiplash of going to the vet thinking you're going to have to put your dog down (where they also agreed that was a highly likely outcome) only for them to pat him on the back and send him home.
#we're not in the clear; he's older and having more health problems but like. hello.#i woke up this morning prepared for it to be the last time i shared my room with him#after a decade of this fucker stealing my blankets & pillows#and now he's laying at my feet while i try to find something to eat#like. yes. it's still likely. but damn bitch i could've gotten more than 2 hours of sleep had i known this would be the outcome#all of this while recovering from having covid for 3 weeks is truly. one way to start the year i guess.#pet death
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must a team have flashy playmakers with which to entertain national broadcast commentators is it not enough to have genuine depth, a d-man who never gets enough respect, a healthy locker room culture, a kid who passed up a hatty on his 21st birthday to ensure an already-guaranteed victory, revenge goals, the slogan "a little less for a lot more" and a dream
#i keep thinking about how much we talk lately about [x] stars player surpassing all expectations of his draft ranking & it's like yes#good drafting and covid uncertainty but the reality is there still needs to be effective systems in place to nurture that potential#wyatt would have always been a fantastic player but you don't get him/robo/stank/harls/etc. in rapid succession without#strong leadership & a robust core willing to selflessly center the younger players in the room....... aaghhhhh.#thank god our star players are all nerds and obsessed with each other 💚💚💚#i need to sleep but !!! T__T
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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*sees new posts about the importance of masking, social distancing, sanitizing your hands, taking COVID safety precautions, etc.*
🙂
*the posts are actually from 2020 and the OPs who made the original posts don’t actually care anymore - and have recent photos of themselves on social media at crowded events without wearing masks*
☹️
#nat speaks#coronavirus#COVID19#everyone: *you’re still going on about COVID in May 2023?!?!*#me: *well people are STILL getting sick and disabled and dying from it… so yes*#my Dad MIGHT actually have COVID right now#because he has a *bad cold*#but refuses to get tested because he insists *it’s over*#and still willingly went out to public places while sick without wearing a mask#thank goodness I don’t live with him anymore…#I can’t be around someone like that…
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i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much
#we had a really wild moment over dinner last week where she actually acknowledged#EXPLICITLY with her OWN WORDS#that things like our brother dying right when i was going into my senior yr of high school#and covid lockdown starting right when i'd graduated college + moved to a new city where i knew no one except her + was applying/auditionin#for jobs#were harder on me than one her in some unique ways#and i was literally like . is. is this a test? am i supposed to deny it?#bc like when our brother died she told me i was a selfish brat (for not grieving the way she did)#and during covid she told me (right after i got laid off) that she had ''way more reasons to be depressed'' than i did#personal#anyway she was laughing so much as she said this (abt not liking me) and i was just staring at her nodding slightly like#yeah. i know. i know you didn't like me#do YOU know how much it sucks to know that your older sister--whom you idolize--who you *desperately* want to like you--#not only doesn't like you at all#but even up into high school/college#would talk about how she couldn't wait till our LITTLE (five year old) cousins were old enough to hang because they'd be so much fun#and know that she had absolutely never thought or said that about you#do you perhaps! think that might still have ramifications on our relationship to this day#if your little sister spent 20+ years knowing that your love was conditional on them being the person you wanted her to be#like. do u???#(the answer is no of course but#i remain boggled by the fact that this eludes her considering she is! in fact! a really smart person!)#it's also like when i was first offered my current job#and our now bosses asked both of us like ''are you worried at all about working with your sister?''#and she laughed like lol no of course not?#while i was like ''honestly yes.'' adskjfglkjasds#very different perspectives sometimes
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sympathy for the outcasts <3
#Ive been a social outcast for almost two years and I wish everyone dealing with it joy in life ✌️😔#dont punish yourself for the way other people act towards you#you can work on yourself. but dont try to hide your entire personality.#otherwise one day all the sorrow will come back like a wave of depression.#Ive had this#yes I had friends during that dark era buuuuut they treated me as if I'm worth nothing#social outcast era#neurodivergent#mental health#and all my other friends: they left me#I lost all. literally. ALL my friends in that one year 2021#I had like 6 or 7 close friends before covid but after the lockdown ALL friendships ended#and I developed a high ego and thought I need no one#I was happy to have no friends 🫥#zero friends.#around that time I developed some autistic traits in my personality :/#as an example-#I didnt know how to talk to my dog/animals/pets. it felt so uncomfortable I tried to avoid it#I avoided speaking in general#but that high ego inside me kinda prevented me from drifting into depression#at least#random mind#guys. dont think it was THAT bad. I still had family which supported me#thank god Im not like this anymore#I found many close friends now and I have people who appreciate me irl#and healthy friendships taught me how to be social again#hopefully that whole covid lockdown dark phase blah blah blah think will never return#life is beautiful#never say never#❣️
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there's Tired and then there's 'creakily sliding into bed and fighting tears because its just SO COZY and GOOD and *NICE TO YOU* ur bed LOVES U, PLEASE REST IN ITS KIND EMBRACE' Tired. so tired u anthropomorphize ur bed into a FRIEND who will hug you to sleep. dry ur tears on its convenient pillow. all is well
#chronic illness#and yes i still have Monster Fucking Cold that won't stop#its not covid its just SO ANNOYING and i CANNOT SIT UP long enough to do anything#brain. fuzz. so fucking fuzz SO TIRED
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It’s medicated tea hours…I am not feeling good besties-
#it’s been 5 days#still feel like I’ve been poorly microwaved#nia.txt#was working the whole week i have covid a bad idea#yes but I’m so fucking bored trapped in my room#and i need money lol
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why are my eyeballs warm
#because i have covid and because i'm exhausted. yes. i know. but still#fucking warm eyeball hours over here. hate it.#personal
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having a dog sounds great but every step of the process to get there.. so scary
#mine#emails? dont know her#in my defense i genuinely was going to do it but then i :#got covid again because people are careless which luckily was more infuriating than it was damaging to my health (🤞)#and then had to deal with some wacky shit (bad) right after#all of which of course made my mental health take a bit of a plunge and i was having massive doubts abt my ability to handle a dog at all#and im still having some of that but im being more reasonable about it and less. depressed.#so yes this is more of a personal update really. hi. im alive! somehow
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screaming crying coughing up blood every time i have to fucking defend genocide joe bc ppl wanna lie and say he isn't responsible for most of the best domestic policy we've seen in decades
his foreign policy is dogshit, yes, and he should rightly be called on it and primaried out, but we can criticize the shit he's actually done wrong instead of making shit up about him ~not doing anything good~
#thinking about the keystone pipeline shutdown and how fully 2/3 of the people he appointed to legislative systems were women and poc#thinking about student debt forgiveness and rejoining the paris climate accord and unfucking some of the extreme gerrymandering#and improving COVID protections (that were roundly thrown out by corporate america which is its own concern yes but like. he's not a king)#'biden didn't fix' blah blah blah he's not a fucking dictator he can't actually do whatever he wants. the only thing the GOP lets slide#is the aforementioned dogshit foreign policy bc fuck knows every last republican loves bombing the middle east and supporting israel#(remember that the evangelical xtian death cult requires israel for the apocalypse!! that is a very real fucking thing these ppl strive for#(and evangelicals support the GOP for this very fucking reason. you cannot forget this. we are all fighting for all our goddamn lives rn)#stirring up trouble#i hate biden i hate his foreign policy i hate how ok he is with fascism i hate most of his pre-presidential voting record BUT#i will not let that hate blind me to the reality that he is Objectively Miles Ahead Of Any Fucking Republican Alternative#i still want his ass primaried out of the presidential race so hard he physically blacks out upon seeing the polling results tho#and fuck. at least the dem side seems to have a lot of good progressive downballot candidates this time around already.
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Bump in the Night Day 18: Werewolves
#6#Bump in the Night#Bump in the Night 2024#Time and Time Again#Time & Time Again#Time and Time Again Webtoon#Time & Time Again Webtoon#Webtoon#augh ok uh IT’S STILL THE 18TH#Yes tonight you’re getting a glimpse of how my drawing start#Bc I got a covid shot today and the side effects are just… oughhhhh#So I’ll color this tomorrow and replace the image#Have a good night y’all and I’ll see you tomorrow!#Edit ok the picture’s finished#Turned out cool#Epic#now to work on the next ones
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