#even before covid so its not that
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cant believe ive never said this on here but i strongly believe marinette smells like sweets/baked goods/food and adrien smells like flowers/whatever else similar of the sort(save for the camembert rotting in his pockets)
i dont know i just wanted to say that, i cant even smell that well why i do i care
#my sense is smell is like dwindled idk why#even before covid so its not that#its not like its GONE i can still definitely smell just not as well as other people#anyway#can i post random headcanons?#well yes i can i have free will and im american RAHHHHHHH#also ive already been doing that#you guys care about what i have to say or nah?#i hope people read the tags i usually have a lot to say#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#adrien agreste#miraculous lb#mlb#ml#marinette dupain cheng
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Theres no words that can describe the complete alienation of having severe long covid. One infection, caused directly by political decisions to remove public measures, and i cant walk. Can't stand except on really good days which are getting rarer. Sitting is a privilege i dont always have. Cognitive work is too much of a risk to consider for the moment. I live in constant fear of going back to being utterly bed ridden in the sense that i cant even feed myself, drink water, speak, move my limbs beyong my fingers and toes. For days and days without relief.
Nothing feels real. Every gain can be lost in a literal second. And on top of this, the fear of reinfection. The very real possibility of death, given how weak a single infection has made me when I was healthy and young. The even more real possibility of a worsened state, where there are no good days. That means death, too. If i am constantly in a state where I cannot move, i am going to have to resort to euthanasia because it is not a bearable existence. I can barely tolerate it when it know it will end. Last time was 14 days and I am still so traumatized by it 2 months later nothing feels real.
And on top of that, i am being told that my life doesnt matter. Covid is not a real concern. Let it fester. Even if the stairs in my building didnt lock me in, all public spaces have become lethal to me. I cant see my friends because they cant avoid exposure when theres a wave. To love me, you must live in a horrific world where no matter how many precautions you take, no matter how much they ostracize you, you might still cause my death.
Covid is a privileged issue they say. Im not even in the room for it bc i cannot be in the room. You can move your body, youre not afraid of death, you havent lost everything that makes you *you*, but im the privileged one. I cant even emote the way i used to. If i get too excited, too happy, i cant move. I talked to countless people who cant work anymore, are losing their jobs their houses their partners their immigration permits but no. Covid doesnt matter. I dont matter. Everyone cheered when i got covid bc they got to party for new years eve. I hope it was a good party. I will never agree that it was worth my life.
For the past 2 years ive had to share classrooms with students and professors who know everything about my story, who have seen how disabled i am by long covid, who ive begged to mask. They all refuse to mask. And i have to sit there and pretend its not a cosmical level farce that theyre talking about social justice and ethics and just what good people they all are. Not to mention that most of them have revealed themselves to be zionists. I have to sit next to an iof soldier and act as if its ok that she gets to sit in this classroom, except im not even sitting in the room because cases are too high and im too weak to be there physically anyway, so im on zoom. At least i get to remove my earbuds when she speaks so i dont have to think about the atrocities she has committed.
#long covid#complete loss of faith in the future#no one cares if i live or die even among leftists#i cant even be in the room anymore to be seen#its been almost 3 years of living in the most horrific reality#this summer has been so. dehumanizing#please care. please wake up. no matter where you are.#covid#btw if youre queer and you pretend to care about aids but dont a give a shit about covid. i hate you personally 🧡 do better#ive found extraordinary resemblance between my despair and the despair of people dying during aids. we are the same.#except their community started giving a shit. when will you#also people with mecfs who had it before covid im holding your hand we're in the same boat my future is your future
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I just don't understand people who don't do a COVID test when they get sick
#like yes of course for some people thats not affordable#but for the vast majority money isnt the issue#i picked up a sore throat and congestion over the weekend and figured it was allergies#i was pretty damn sure but i coughed last night and thats unusual#so i bit the bullet and at 7 fucking am this morning i went and found a covid test before work#good thing too because by the time i got to work the test was positive#because of that im within the window for paxlovid#and i havent really exposed that many people#my brother in christ this shit kills people#its not the common cold#the responsible thing to do is to test when youre fucking sick#and isolate if you know its covid#i have no idea on what criteria i qualified for paxlovid but im guessing it was asthma#heres hoping my mcas doesnt throw a tantrum about this#its entirely possible i caught this from my coworker#who did not test at all and stopped wearing a mask after a day or two#they know about my health issues and i cant help but feel hurt about how little they cared about the possible consequences to me#i should be fine btw im not even feeling particularly sick#salt baby talks#disability#chronic illness
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"a dude in Texas legally changed his name to "Literally Anyone Else" and he's attempting to run for President against Biden & Trump" [source]
okay, but putting aside the comedic aspect of this, it is concerning the amount of people who are prompted to vote for candidates just because it's funny. I'm not the biggest fan of how his policy about the boarder sounds [Site], but I do implore anyone who is able to vote in the 2024 US election to please research other candidates.
The media is only going to continue pushing the idea it's inevitably going to be Trump vs Biden 2.0 and we have no other options, that we have to vote for Biden again because of Project 2025. Is that whole thing terrifying?
Yeah, fucking absolutely.
But voting for Biden will not solidify our safety from that. Biden is exactly like the rest of them. He always has been. You can't make the lesser of two evils argument when they're both just plain evil.
You cannot say that Biden is even mildly a better choice than Trump when he is currently directly involved in a genocide. That is not some little fucking thing. That in and of itself disqualifies him as a lesser evil. Biden is just as bad as him and he will not save us because he doesn't fucking care.
Cornel West [Site] is an Independent candidate running for President in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
Claudia De la Cruz and Karina Garcia [Site] are running for President and Vice-President as the candidates of the Party for Socialism and Liberation in the 2024 Election. [Policies]
There are options.
There are people trying to change the corrupt foundation our system is built on, but we have to help amplify them because the mainstream media will not.
#have you looked at what's happening in New York & the subways#There's so many reported shootings and deaths and it just seems to be getting worse.#I just looked up subway shooting ny because I wanted to check before saying something#There's reports from like 3 hours ago about someone getting pushed in front of one of the moving subways & there's so many others#or how about the like thousands of police officers that they've got stationed at subways in ny literally doing fuck all#or how everyone's going through a housing crisis and cant afford rent and cant get medical care because it can cost#$4000 to get a fucking ambulance and that's cheap. That's a ride to the hospital less than 20 minutes away probably.#or the rise in hate crimes and bigotry and all the shit they're now trying to censor with the kosa bill#or how terrifying places like Florida have became for anyone thats not seen as an equel by people who dont view most others as equels.#or how they're pouring billions into wars while we're in the midsts of a homeless crisis#suicide rates are at record levels in the us and it's only going to get worse. theyre pulling telehealth which will take away#life saving medical care for people who dont have the ability to go in person. people's ability to get therapy and meds being taken away#Is going to kill people. or how the Biden administration has fucked up their Covid response so goddamn badly#people are referring to the pandemic in past tense and have lost understanding for others who they'd have understood before#they've lied and they've concealed and its killing millions of people and disabling even more. but they will not take accountability.#long covid is ruining people's lives and they've successfully led the narrative that its not real or not that serious.#they will sit there and they will lie. they will say they've protected women's rights and that its a top priority.#they'll say that healthcare is a top priority but have suggested that they'd veto a healthcare for all bill because of its price tag#but will spend billions and billions and billions on a genocide that the majority is against. the system isn't going to begin collapsing#it already is.#its crumbled and we must demolish the corrupt remains and rebuild a better government that gives a shit about people#ALL people.#they use basic human rights as bargaining chips.#the Democrats and Republicans on a Venn diagram is a circle. wake up.
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#svsss#scum villains self saving system#shang qinghua#how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg#I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg#how nice it would be to not exist#everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate#time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times#I haven't felt real in most of those years either#Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times#tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias#I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it#but at the same time I really want to do more too#I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person#and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig#I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg#priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore#idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things#like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing?#Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything#I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me#I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha#ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so#chug chug going along#I also have to make wushi before I die. haha#god my life is so empty#what am I even doing#I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this?#so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much#I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more
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Accomplishments!!!!
#woooo were doin it!#success at being a good human --#i feel more awake and happy than the past few days- ready for small work tonight and making progress on big work application stuff tomorrow#success at being a good student --#my professor emailed me with an issue and i was able to get it all situated very quickly - plus im keeping up on this weeks assignments!!!#success at being a good citizen --#with some help i applied for my mail-in ballot and im getting my covid booster tomorrow!!!#comparatively theyre probably nonexistent tasks lol but to me they were big stressors that i completed >:3#last thing will be being a good pal but i feel like i was so scatterbrained on the call yesterday maybe i give myself a tiny bit longer#before i can be trusted to speak like a human being asdfsdf#i might even write today!!! its been weeks since making any solid progress but im feelin good ✨✨✨#rose rambles
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Life is good when you can draw post covid kenny for your assignment
#for copyright reasons it doesnt look exactly the same as the actual post covid kenny but shhhhhhh you guys wouldnt tattle right#so many of my assignments this semester have south park somewhere in them its not even funny#just yesterday i did my portrait studies homework but it was tweek and craig#maybe ill post that one....... but it kind of looks like shit so i might have to retouch it digitally first#its actually such a jumpscare like its not bad by any means but because its in a sorta kinda realistic style its kind of jarring#yea.... yea definitely have to touch it up before posting#it does not help that the reference i used was with asian guys and one of them has like this chiseled jawline#anyways.... crumbs for u guys.....#3 weeks left........ 3 WEEKS LEFT....!!!!#kenny mccormick#shroomer's archives: south park#south park#ig??#shroomer talks !
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Magenta 😟
#I've had cognitive impairment from covid before but not to where i feel intellectually dumb when i write#my college papers and my writing projects dont sound like “me” as of late#its very bare bones and doesn't have the descriptiveness or humanity i normally give#like i see the scenes or what i want to say in my head#but what i type aint matching up#and yeah i naturally get into slumps like that but this is like that slump x 9000#I'm kinda scared this round might've given me brain damage#havent been feeling all the way like myself#but i also know too that covid takes a while to heal from and of course theres long covid shit which ive dealt with before#im just frustrated guys#i feel like within the last 3 to 4 months i finally healed from my last bout of rona#and i get it again and im back to square one#i just want to write and feel okay with it and not feel so stuck just trying to come up with a basic sentence#seriously even writing basic shit is hard right now#it took me a week to get 5 pages on duality#and im used to churning out at least 10 pages on my projects at minimum every couple days to a week#man give me chronic pain anyday but don't take away my mind and the freedom that comes with that#sorry guys im feeling sad#i know i gotta give myself time but im impatient#i hate how right before i caught covid again i was gonna get my flu shot and an updated covid vax#wish i could've avoided this crud#having weird chest shit too#was a heart thing now its gerd now its potentially back to a heart thing#im tired#i need a hug#i love you 🫂💙#magenta is my vent word
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Im going to the state fair in the morning with my two closest friends and Im like Nervous About It....sigh...
#A lil scared ngl#Havent done an event this big since before covid#And Im going really early#Its going to onjectively be a good time#I might even ride the swings#Which I havent done in years and miss so much that I am willing to risk the fair swings for a chance to fly again#Social anxiety fucking sucks man#Im scared over nothing#Just bein Percieved#Like#Jesus fuggin chrissssstttt#Live a little#For fuck sake
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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oh my god. a manga where everyones actually wearing masks???
edit: NEVERMIND jumped the gun here it was just for one scene cos they were at a nail salon 😭
edit 2: hmm actually. depending on how recently this manga was drawn it could just be reflective of how not everyone wears masks. the customers are wearing masks in the salon but outside usually not but Sometimes. they are
edit 3: I WAS RIGHT??
#in an era where i feel like there was a VERY short period (in western fandom at least)#where masks and covid were even mentioned in fic and art#before it dropped off completely and all fiction lived in a fantasy universe without covid...#BRO I GOT TRICKED#hmm iirc wearing a mask in japan isnt required outside anymore. so that would track#but also maybe the artist just didnt want to draw masks all the time LMAO#ok ill be honest at this point i think i just misread the situation 😭 man it would be interesting for someone to like.#draw masks all the time..... the elusive artist that likes to draw masks more than faces#i should practice drawing people with masks...#MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE LMAO#ok now im Really sure its just a case of wanting to show the main characters faces and not wanting to draw masks all the time#two characters have met outside for the first time and theyre both wearing masks#ok theres another bit where a character says 'good thing the flights are running again'#which i must assume is a reference to international travel being restricted at the beginning of covid#so wow.... i was right..................#idk when this was released but it must have been drawn closer to the beginning of the pandemic#the manga is internet love by urino kiko btw#hmmm it says released 2023.. thats the tankobon tho idk if it was serialised and when that happened#ok yeah serialised from late 2022... thats quite far into the pandemic actually. interesting
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this is so funny
#this was on a post abt how ‘theres so much ai art that ai is training on itself and becoming worse’#which is just like either patent misinformation or a complete misunderstanding of what someone was saying#because the vast majority of base ai models use large pre-captioned datasets taken from before ai even existed#thats why like. bing ai/dall e 3 cant do anything that became popular after 2018#it doesnt know what covid is or what zoom is or most recent celebrities. despite coming out in 2023#the only thing this MIGHT be a problem for is people who make like fine tuned stable diffusion models on anime art or whatever#or like the weird sites like deviantart who apparently comb their uploads for ai training?#but even then. the proportion of ai art to real art is not even close to big enough to ‘kill’ ai#like that person said. its crazy to try and pretend we can put the genie back in the bottle…
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dear internet stop throwing pictures of beautifully toasted bagels slathered in cream cheese at me i don't have a toaster i don't have room in my teeny kitchenette for a toaster a toaster is a luxury here in japan as are bagels as is cream cheese
bagel places here that ask me "do you want that heated up" make me want to cry tears of joy even though all they mean is they're gonna stick the bagel in the microwave for ten seconds so it's slightly warm-ish but not enough to crisp up or melt the cream cheese a little
#food#closest bagel place to me has two options blueberry bagel or white choco chip#its fortunate that i love blueberry but anyway that shows the general mindset towards bagels here they're sweet snacks more or less#hard to find everything bagel or onion bagel etc#i havent been home since before covid but my primary reason for wanting to is i neeeed a nyc bagel#and real mac n cheese and real grilled cheese#and pasta that isnt spaghetti with something something cream sauce#oh and i really miss american bbq which means it sucks that i'll be going home in winter bahahaha#never expected to stay here as long as i have but otoh food cravings aside what real motivation do i have to live in the us#obvs my parents and i do want to see them and wish we could live close#but as for life in the us itself... living here is so far a lot easier in a multitude of ways#the biggest downside is my being a foreigner. gotta reapply for that visa every few years#and even though i speak japanese every day the business-style japanese of workplaces is totally different so im limited in terms of jobs#aaaand when im home in the us i have the opposite problem... i miss japan and japanese food instead xP#why cant i teleport that'd solve everything#fizz's life#why are people reblogging this??? X'D
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They really should invent a socializing that doesn't make me feel like im going to throw up.
#i can do it if its somewhere I have to go every day like school or work#or some kind of regularly scheduled activity/club#or a theater i know how theaters usually work#sometimes if it is a friends house I have been to for years#but im 25 almost nobody is in the same place they were#and im so scared talking to people all the time. I love people. I hate talking to people.#even texting and social media are so scary#I was getting really good at socializing once#Its not all covid because i was prone to it before but I do think lockdown and doing like 1.5 years of college at home were like...#and then how heartbreaking my senior year roommate situation was god i wish id just switched rooms#really good conditions for my social anxiety and self isolation tendencies to just go fuckin bananas
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I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh
#crow rambles#i want to write and i want to draw and i want to do a million things and i am doing NONE of them...#insane... crazy even...#like. i have several fic ideas i wanna write (nothing new there) but i am not writing them#i. well i dont have any art ideas now but i WANNA draw but ohh. hard :(#i think i may be having a little creative burnout... give me like four days ill be back on my game#i can never stay away from art for too long. i get itchy if i dont draw for a few days#longest ive went without drawing in the past like. decade. has been a week and that was when i got covid#my ass can NOT put the pencil down#i do want to get some of my rook ideas into fic bc i think it may help me flesh them out a little bit#while i do have a lot of criticisms of dav i kinda wanna stop focusing on them so much#bc i KNOW ive been posting about them alot on here#and while i don't think the game SHOULDNT be criticized (it definitely should) i dont want to be solely negative on it#bc i actually did have fun playing it#and i want to reflect it in my posts lmao#however. i love bitching. i am so good at bitching#its a competitive sport and im winning. top tier bitcher thats me#idk i should probably replay the game bc its always easier to make a protagonist for a dragon age game once you know the plot#but also i want to finish my dao replay... and replay da2... and finish my dai replay i never finished lmao#im at the landsmeet in dao so it shouldnt be much longer. i plan on skipping the golems dlc this go round bc i dont really like it and it#doesnt add very much to the plot imo. everytime i play it i get pissy over the harvester. fucking AWFUL boss#tried killing it on hard mode. once. i am never doing that shit again i HATEEEE that stupid thing#<- by landsmeet i meant i am doing the denerim quests right before the landsmeet. im just before the whole 'anora got locked up' thing#am NOT looking forward to the alienage... idk i really want go get to witch hunt 😭😭
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some ppl that work in healthcare... really shouldn't work in healthcare.
(heavy heavy tw for medical situations & death/child death in tags, do not read if you're sensitive to it... I'll delete this later just had to vent)
#ceci speaks#nonsims#delete later#was just thinking about all the terrible things ive heard while being a hcw#from fellow hcw#and reporting it never helped because it was all shitheads all the way up#then i see more assholes going into that work and its like#really#ive experienced so much death since covid started and truth be told#it messed me up pretty badly and changed me as a person#im not the same person i was four years ago#and i wonder#would it affect you the way it affected me#would you change and grow some empathy if you had to see that many people suffer and die#even with some of them being terrible people it still hits you somehow#you think youre tough and youre hot shit when youre in school#and a couple years later youre not even blinking when youre trying to get blood out of a dead three month old#but when you go home you hyperfixate on the fact that it could be you or anyone you know at any time#i remember the christmas i watched three people code and die the same day#and the baby that already had rigor in their little feet bc theyd been dead in the crib way before they were even brought in#im not even a nurse im in lab for gods sake#but lab and rad dont escape this shit either#and i think if youre already a person with low empathy#the trauma must turn you into some of the people i worked with that just hated everyone they came into contact with#being cruel to patients or discriminating against them#why even go into that work if youre that kind of person#and i dont mean hcw have to be angels#its a difficult and grueling line of work that is underpaid and understaffed#but how hard is it to not be fucking evil#dont become a hcw if youre a discrimatory evil fucking piece of shit is what im saying
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