#yes I have been lurking on tumblr until now

[sillygenshinguy]

What did you guys name your Scaranara? I just called him Scara because I didn’t want to give him a joke name, but other people have given theirs so genuinely kind names, with nice meanings dhfifjvkc AH

[lukolabrainrot]

Long ask anon with an even longer ask (I truly don’t know how to make long story short, but I can do the reverse), sorry. I am dividing this in two parts in case you decide to post this, so it would not be such an essay.

Part 1. Intro

Something has been eating up at me for a while but I only recently gathered the courage to do anything more than lurking. I actually am quite new to this, mostly because I was not allowing myself to even get into this in the first place. I am a very chill person when it comes to celebrities, I truly couldn’t care less about their lives, don’t even follow them on SM (L and N included) (not that I use SM all that much to begin with), I don’t know why but it always seems strange for me to be invested in strangers’ lives. I am not big of a fan girl either, especially media wise, I am much more interested in books and have no patience for tv shows most of the time. All of this to say, this is unusual behavior for me, watching all of the interviews with repetitive questions (those poor actors having to repeat themselves over and over again), paying attention to actors (beyond just knowing their names).

Polin is one of the rare ships that captured my interest, so I was very excited to learn about s3 being them, and when the wait for even the slightest info seem to be dragging on endlessly those interviews served as a great entertainment. Until they were not, until I started noticing things I wished not to. What started as “oh, they are so cute, and charming, and their friendship is so endearing!” very quickly turned into “babes, WHAT THE F*CK DID I JUST SAW/HEARD?” At one point I was honestly thinking “did I miss something? Are they together? What is going on?” So I checked, out of curiosity nothing more, but found nothing OFFICIAL suggesting that (as in N nor L never claimed anything). So I moved on, watched the show, other interviews (my brows still rising at some points), and then post Part 2 premiere I saw the picture on IG.

Everyone on internet seemed to be screaming about Ls’ GF, and being absolutely vile to him, which I found so disgusting I immediately checked out of the situation and turned my attention back on fiction again. It would be insincere of me not to admit to a certain disappoint on such a development, but that was as far as it would go. Though I can also truthfully say that that girl was not giving me the best impression based on the picture, something just seemed off. I only saw one at that point, where it appeared as if they were holding hands, why did it seem off? Because L looked displeased, almost angry, his eyes averted from cameras, while she was boldly looking right on them smiling as if she was walking her red carpet. As I said that was that, just continued watching the show, reading Polin fanfiction, hung out on a Polin reddit account and some Polin Tumblr blogs. And then I stumbled upon your blog (it was already past papgate 2.0), and now I’m on this bloody ship, and can not seem to force myself overboard, because those two are so soulmate coded (and yes, I realize how cheesy that sounds).

What has been bugging me, is that most, if not all, in this fandom seem to be of the opinion that L is the primary reason why N/L are yet to develop into lovers phase of this friends to lovers arc. From outright blaming him to passive aggressively calling him a dummy for not going after N. And I comprehend that most of it comes from the presence of a certain adjacent. But putting aside the OBVIOUS, LOGICAL point that we, non of us, are privy to their real lives, and bts truth, I still don’t see where that point of view comes from. I know that everyone says L is most like his character, so perhaps part of it is projection of that, but for me it always seems that L is actually a Penelope of this situation. To me, he himself gives it away.

Same Anon... same!

I have never thought L was the hang up in this situation. I think N has been burned in love, is pretty closed off with this stuff, and a TOTAL workaholic. L DEFINITELY fell first (no one can convince me otherwise). L also seems to kind of be a hopeless romantic and public lover boy, which I don't think N is use to. But I feel like that is why they kind of balance each other out ❤️️

[shogunish]

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼𝘀 & 𝗶. [𝟬𝟳]

synopsis. you were his mama.

words. 784

warnings. none

note. surprise! bet you thought you'd seen the last of me ✨ i didn't forget about tumblr, just had really low motivation bc i got a new job and it sucks the life out of me. but i hope you guys enjoy this chapter even though i disappeared for so long 🫠

previous || next || masterlist

tossing and turning in bed like a fearful deer, sleep didn’t come easily to little megumi.

even with the moonlight gently filtering through the curtains and casting a gentle glow upon his childish self and the plushies he surrounded himself with, it brought him little to no comfort. every time he closed his eyes, nightmares would haunt him. gruesome images of monsters hunting him down, the blood of his family long spilled and devoured while he was running.

running, running, running.

until megumi would fall into the abyss and wake up with a gasp, his spine straight as a candle and his palms clammy with cold sweat. his breath came out in labored huffs while his heart was pounding against his ribcage and about to break through the bone of his sternum to make a run for it.

it was just a dream, megumi realized.

“papa..?” the kid called out gently with a voice as shaky as a house of cards.

of course no one would answer. it was in the middle of the night and his dad was likely blissfully asleep in his own bedroom, snoring away like dads did.

with a teddy bear clutched in megumi’s hold, he almost silently padded along the wooden floors of his home – in case any monsters lurked in the shadows and kept their ears wide open for any sound the child might make. shaky hands opened the door to satoru’s bedroom where it was comfortably warm. it was a little too dark for megumi’s liking but it was bright enough for him to find his dad rousing from his slumber and the sleeping figure next to him.

“had a nightmare?” satoru whispered gently as the wind and wore a sleepy smile on his face as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes to see his own son better in the darkness.

megumi crawled onto the mattress, quickly burying himself underneath the sheets that satoru held up for him. the kid was about to tell satoru all about the horrifying things his mind had made up in his sleep when he was stopped by you stirring right next to him.

the words megumi wanted to say died on the tip of his tongue.

“are you having a sleepover?” megumi whispered quietly as to not wake you.

cerulean eyes gazed over at your quietly snoring self, hair disheveled and hugging a good portion of the blanket to your chest. you were so adorable – even if a bit of drool slipped past the seam of your pretty lips.

“yeah, we’re having a sleepover buddy. wanna join us?” to that question, megumi eagerly nodded his head, snuggled into the sheets and let his head hit the soft pillows underneath him.

the combined warmth of his dad and you enveloped him and managed to seep through megumi’s clothes. it reminded him of warm, familiar honey that he never used to like but now that you were in the picture..

“is [name] my mama?” megumi suddenly asked, staring at his dad with big, dark eyes that resembled a doe’s.

satoru appeared to be taken aback for a second before he managed to catch himself and hugged his little boy to his chest like he always did after the kid had a nightmare. “do you want her to be your mama?”

megumi glanced over at you. it was you who tended to his scraped knees, brought him sweets after going grocery shopping and made up stories for him to fall asleep to. sure, his papa did the same for him but with you..it felt different. it felt like he was your own flesh and blood and not the child of a woman who left her family for whatever reason.

“yes. i want her to be my mama and you my papa.” megumi answered after a beat of silence.

a smile rested on satoru’s lips. knowing that his son got along with you, the woman he loved and adored, made his heart soar the skies like birds did. megumi might not have been your biological son but you acted like it. and maybe, that fact was lost in the sea of the past because neither of you three cared about it anymore.

without realizing it, you had become part of their family and satoru was happy it was you.

he was happy it was you who had rung the bell that day with a batch of cookies in your hands and shyly asking him if everything was alright.

he was happy that it was you who he had kissed in the park.

he was happy it was you who had taken the role of megumi’s mother and hopefully..someday..satoru’s wife, as well.

taglist. @torusmochi, @cinnamonmon, @risuola, @ayanominitrash, @lordbugs, @phoenix666stuff, @hotvinimon, @stevenknightmarc, @sukunasleftkneecap, @erigaur, @lu-lynds, @staryukis

[chiharuhashibira]

Hello everyone!

Writing here a next part to my first fic here in Tumblr, 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝'𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞. But yep, as you can see, I am Chiharu Hashibira and my fave part there is Inosuke's confused part. So, I'll write for my baby Inosuke HAHAHA

Also applying here the correction that was pointed out last time XD Using Kamuro now instead of Oiran on the flashbacks 💓 Also, this is kind of a Fix-it Fic for Inosuke. So if you don't like it, feel free to scroll XD Sankyuuu!

Hope you'll enjoy this Inosuke lovers!

W/N=wrong name

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

𝑪𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒔𝒆

𝐀𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐈𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐚 𝐗 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Content Warnings: Curse words but fluffy!

Preview:

Back when you were a kamuro, you caught Inoko red-handed. Yes, apparently, he is a man, Inosuke Hashibira, and he tries to find the demon that seems to be lurking in the Ogimoto House. But then, he needs to find that demon before Monjiro finds it first, so he tries to make you forget what you saw by... kissing you. Oh well, the guy had seen a man and a woman do it, and apparently, the woman had forgotten that they were in public. So yeah, you just ride with what he thought. (He is naive and adorable.) But the catch is... you need to stop him from making other people "forget".

Timeskip to ten years later... Ten years after the fight with Daki and Gyutaro. Also ten years of not seeing Inosuke ever again after he had saved your life.

It was unexpected. You didn't plan on liking Inosuke, but after that first incident, and after he had really saved you from the demon who roamed in your town, things became deeper.

You can't forget about his green eyes, his wonderful face, and that naivete. It's been years since you last saw him.

Yes. Years.

The Inoko and Inosuke that you met that night are now only lurking within your dreams.

"Perhaps he's already 25 by now. If he's still alive, perhaps he's even married by now."

You wondered as you looked up at the night sky. The day when he tried to "make you forget" came back into your head, which made you smile. You have missed the softness of his lips.

You will never exchange that moment for anything else. And perhaps that is the reason why you walked out of the possibility of being an oiran. You wouldn't want anyone to kiss you ever again, unless it was that beautiful kamuro... That same boar-head boy that you met ten years ago.

Surprisingly, despite turning down the opportunity to be promoted as an oiran, you still lived in the same town.

After the Daki and Gyutaro incident, you went out of the house and tried to find a good future outside the district. But that's when you got sick, and fortunately, a wonderful old woman had taken you in as her granddaughter. And after she passed, here you are, managing the house that she owns.

For years, you had been desperate, wishing that Inosuke would even drop by as a client. But that time never came, and you tried your best to make peace with the thought that perhaps the boy had died.

Inosuke had saved you after Daki's obi had already almost absorbed you. That's the last time you've seen the boy, and until now, you've still missed him a lot.

You stopped walking and fixed your kimono as you watched how lively the streets were tonight. For some reason, you felt eyes on you, and that caused a shiver on your spine.

You looked around, feeling confused, and there, in the midst of the crowd, your eyes landed on a man clad in a bright blue kimono. You swear that you will never forget those raven locks that are fading into blue at the tips. Also, those unruly bangs surprisingly don't cover his marvellous green eyes.

"Inosuke?"

Your whisper seems to travel into his senses, despite him standing 10 feet away from you. The curious lad turned in your direction with wondering eyes. The naivete in those green eyes seems to have long faded, but the same familiar aura envelops the man. This is definitely Inosuke.

His eyes pierced yours, and he walked in your direction with wonder. When he's finally face-to-face with you, Inosuke crosses his arms and tilts his head to the side. "Why do you know me?"

A tinge of pain stabbed your heart. Of course, why would he still remember you? It's clear that you're just one of the hundreds of people that he has saved.

You looked down in dismay and tightened your grip on your sleeve. But despite the dismay, you composed yourself and looked into his eyes. He made you forget before... Now, you'll make him remember.

"Oh... uh. I don't know if you can still remember, but I was a kamuro in the Ogimoto House ten years ago."

"Ogimoto House?"

"Yes. You... were... uh... Inoko back then."

Inosuke's eyes widened when you said that name. It seems like a part of him suddenly turned on.

You suddenly felt his hand wrap around your wrist. Inosuke suddenly pulled you onto a less busy part of the street, and there he placed his hand on your shoulder.

"So... you didn't forget?"

Your eyes widened. It seems like he still remembers the thing he did to you. "Inosuke..."

"Just so you know. We won over that demon!" Inosuke said proudly, with a smile that brought you back to how he looked back ten years ago.

"You actually saved me from that obi demon." You said that made the lad shrug his shoulders. "Glad to know that, W/N."

"Actually, I'm also glad to see you... alive. Like, why are you here, Inoko—I mean, Inosuke?"

"I was looking back to places where me and my old friends went when we were still slayers. But wait. How do you remember me?"

"Uh, like how you remembered me too? So, did you make lots of people 'forget'?"

You sighed and waited for his answer. What you really wanted to know was if the man had kissed a lot of women in those ten years.

But if he did, He would have known that kissing doesn't make people forget. Or is Inosuke really dumb?

"Forget? Pfft! Why would I want to make anyone forget about the great Inosuke Hashibira? I just did that on you because you might blow up my disguise."

So... he hasn't kissed anyone! The thought killed all the doubts in your heart. He's still the naive Inosuke, and that's what attracted you to him in the first place.

It's like with Inosuke; you can explore everything from a fresh perspective. He's the new perspective, and you cherished those little moments ten years ago for so long already.

"Inosuke, just so you know too... What you did won't make anyone forget it. It will make people remember you more."

Inosuke blinks and smiles. "Do you think I still haven't known after ten years, W/N?"

His next words made you astounded. Is this man pretending? You bit your lower lip and looked away, blushing. You wanted to ask him and know everything about his facade and mysteriousness, but Inosuke has already spoken.

"I've seen my friends kiss the people they love. Actually, I'm glad that you're the first one I kissed, even if that happened because of my stupidity."

You rolled your eyes at the man whose smile was big and proud. His features aren't as girly as before. It might seem like Inoko was just a dream of yours, just by looking at how Inosuke has grown.

You felt your heart beating as his green eyes pierced against yours with an unexplained glimpse. "Why?" You managed to ask, which made Inosuke hold your hand and squeeze it tight.

"I was actually wondering why I had this faint memory of a girl in this district, but even if I tried to ignore it, it always came back. So, I decided to solve this mystery, and you found me. Caught me in another disguise once again."

You blinked in confusion and crossed your arms. "What disguise are you talking about?"

"Disguise as the same innocent Inosuke as before. I've grown. And I hope you'll still be curious and want to know me for who I am today."

"Oh well, you've had that wisdom now. But you'd still be the same cute Inoko for me."

"You find Inoko cute? How about me?"

"I see you as my great saviour and the man whom I've always wanted to be with, even if you had already almost forgotten about me."

Inosuke rolled his eyes and patted your head. "Oh well. Perhaps we could start again then? Let me just make you forget about my idiocy a while ago."

And with that, the boar-head guy, the lad you have been dreaming of, finally closed the gap between your faces and kissed your lips passionately.

The feeling had brought you back to how it really felt ten years ago. You groaned against his lips, which made Inosuke smile at your kisses. After you pulled out...

"What just happened?"

"I just made you forget that we're in public. But I don't care anyway. Hmm, go out with me, Y/N?"

That's the first time he got your name right, which made you blush. You patted his cheek and said, "Of course, Inosuke. But this time, I won't let you escape."

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉

I'm so in love with Inosuke just so you know~ 🥹

So... there might be more aged up fics and NSFW stories for him soon hahaha! I'll do that when I am ready XD

Anyways, feel free to comment, reblog, or request a new fic!

Thank you once again my lovelies~

~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸

[pparamnesiaa]

“I think I showed up late..”

Oh! Uh, hello…! My name is Sky! And this is my introduction post, I guess…

• I’ve been in Tumblr for a while… Not long, but a while, stalking, lurking, observing the DST community from a distance until I could pounce on my prey… which is now I suppose.

• This account will be mainly DST because I joined in for… the fanart, nothing else I SWEAR (lies). Although I do have other major interests and stuff, like ponies… ponies…

• Maybe a half roleplay account?? Or oc info?? It’s a self insert by the way guys I KNOW. Also art account probably. :’D

• I am a HARDCORE Wilson fan I am so sorry. Yes I only came here for Wilson fanart, truth be told. Don’t ask me about any ships containing him I will stare at you ominously.

• My strawpage is a stark contrast from this account but for the sake of information about me, here it is.

“Bye, for now? I think…?”

[suffarustuffaru]

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

[kyndredravenstories]

Eyes of Infinity: Delirium Chapter 10

Hello, I have been posting my work on AO3 and recently decided to venture here to Tumblr. Please note: This story is 18+. No minors. Please read tags carefully. Link to AO3 below but I will also be posting the chapters here.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53564641/chapters/149322682

Pairing: Sylus/Female MC with some elements of Xavier/Female MC

Genre: Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Adventure, Smut, Porn with Big Plot and Big Feelings

Content Warning (For the entire fic): Explicit sexual content, spoilers and alterations to existing lore and cards/memories/tender moments/secret times, size kink, size difference, vaginal sex, cunnilingus, anal sex, fingering, all kinds of fingering, elements of consensual somno, dom!Sylus, jealousy, possessive!Sylus, Mephisto stalking, typical game violence, battle and combat

Summary: To love him meant stepping over the threshold and crossing into darkness. To be with him meant accepting the lure of the shadows. And to protect him from betrayal meant sacrifice. I knew not how, only that I would not let time sever our paths ever again.

Previous Chapters: Ch 1 / Ch 2 / Ch 3 / Ch 4 / Ch 5 / Ch 6 / Ch 7 / Ch 8 / Ch 9

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Give yourself to her...she's right here...so close...so very very close...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Nearly two days after he found Ellara in the N109 Zone, Xavier stands before their shared apartment building holding his sleeping partner in his arms. Though its only been a few days, it seems like he hasn't seen this building in ages. It's a far cry from anything luxurious, but this aging building has been 'home' for several years now.

He takes a moment to collect himself, breathing deeply of the crisp winter air. The falling snow should be a relaxing sight; it typically is. But, not tonight. On this night, he can't let his guard down, can't relax yet. They left N109 and its perils behind. But, just because they've made it to Linkon doesn't mean they're safe. Eyes could still be watching. In fact, an unwelcome intruder already is.

Up above, a large crow circles and settles on a light pole. Its eerie red eyes observe his every move.

Choosing to ignore this particular development, Xavier hugs his beloved's petite body close, giving himself a moment -- just that -- to feel her warmth against his cheek. He takes it in, using it to fuel his resolve. Within his core, his Evol pulses and writhes. It eats at the edge of his awareness --whispering, beckoning -- and it takes all of Xavier's self-control to keep it in check.

He should take her to his apartment, not hers. It's only logical. She'll be safer there, on his couch, tucked against him while she sleeps. Yes, far from prying eyes. In his arms where she belongs.

With great effort, Xavier shakes off the voiceless whispers and focuses on the task before him. Right now, the priority is to get Ellara home safely. Nothing else matters. Not the mark on her neck, or the crow leering down from above, or the long-imprisoned monster now lurking in his thoughts and making its demands. Jeremiah is already working on a new Limiter. Just need to wait it out until he can get it working.

If only the last week hadn't been so harrowing. He needs sleep. And food. Medical help probably for his injuries. His body is on the verge of collapse, and losing that Limiter isn't helping anything. Breaking the collar was not something he'd intended to do. But, the battle hadn't left him much choice. Or rather, Sylus hadn't left him any recourse.

What was he supposed to do? Walk away and let that monster keep his Ellara in his claws?

Again, he shakes his head.

Escaping the N109 Zone had proven to be much harder than Xavier had anticipated, even with help from his contacts. Based on the intel he had on Noxis, only a handful of sectors and areas were free of their surveillance. He couldn't risk them catching wind of Ellara's whereabouts, so they'd had to take the long way out. Truth be told, he hadn't even wanted to take her back here.

His apartment may not be safe, either. They were watching...always watching...

No.

She needs to heal. She needs to return to some normalcy in order to recover both in mind and in body.

And, he needs time as well.

So many things will only get much harder from here. Keeping her safe will require all of his strength and fortitude. Noxis will seek every opportunity to capture Ellara's Aether Core. No doubt they want to use it to make LUMINIS even more powerful. If anything was made clear with the disaster at the Mythe, it's that Noxis isn't some two-bit upstart looking to corner the market on a simple drug. Someone is planning to do something grave with LUMINIS. This operation isn't new. It's been in play for some time, and those leading it know exactly what they're doing.

Clenching his jaw so hard his teeth hurt, Xavier looks up towards the third floor of the building. Taking the elevator seems too daunting at the moment, so he Jumps. Taking care not to jostle the sleeping woman in his arms, he teleports a few feet above her balcony then floats down until his feet softly touch the tile. The sliding door is unlocked, and he manipulates his Evol to open the door and allow him entry.

Though it's been over a week since she's been home, her apartment still smells like her. Strawberries and cherry blossoms. Sweet, addictive. Her favorite lotion from a hole in the wall boutique down in the Azure District. A pile of detective and fantasy novels sits atop her living room table, their covers full of scuffs and creases. On the couch, her Betsy doll smiles at him from beneath Ellara's favored blanket.

Everything looks as though she hasn't left. Neat. Organized. Tidy.

With one small difference.

Someone's definitely been here.

Taking great care not to wake her, Xavier lays Ellara on the couch. He adjusts her injured arm so that the sling he forced her to wear doesn't twist. She doesn't stir, sleeping like the dead. Her palor hasn't improved since he first saw her, either. He hasn't been able to confirm it, but something is definitely wrong with her Evol. Now that the collar no longer binds him, he can feel it clear as day.

A winter breeze comes through the open balcony door, and Ellara shivers in her sleep. He should lay down beside her and wrap her in his warmth. Keep her safe from the cold. But, someone's been here, and there's no telling what they took or left behind. Now was not the time to lay down arms. He needed to investigate the place first.

His gaze gentle yet alert, Xavier covers Ellara with her favorite blanket and stands up. In his hand, he summons the hilt of a golden blade, ready to engage in combat if the need arises. He moves silently to her kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. A sigh of relief; a release of tension in his shoulders. No one else is here, and Xavier takes a breath to keep his Evol and emotions steady.

He goes back to her bedroom. Her theme of gray, white, and black continues here from the living room. A cute desk stands against the wall, the cork board in front of it covered in small baubles, photo stickers, and plushies. Xavier smiles when he sees that most of the photos are of their times spent visiting the arcades in Linkon.

The bed is made, and all clothes and items are put away neatly. Not a thing looks to be out of place except for a single duffle bag sitting on Ellara's bed. It's new. Not hers. Wary, he walks up to its perch on the edge of the mattress and unzips it. Inside is a bunch of clothes packed into stacks based on use: shirts, pants, socks. Too neatly packed for his little workaholic. She always works too late on her reports and packs her things at the last minute, forgetting half of what she needs at home.

Something different about the closet, too. He shuffles to it but hesitates at the door. His instinct warns him not to open it. But, he needs to investigate. What if this is what's got him on edge? Of course. Now is not the time to hold back. He needs to ensure that this apartment is safe. Steeling himself, he grits his teeth and slides open the door.

Ellara is a frugal woman. She wears the same three sets of uniforms for work and only has a few everyday clothes that all fit neatly into bins on the closet shelves. Her hangars are usually empty. But now, something bulky hangs wrapped in a white designer clothes bag like a bright centerpiece. On the zipper hangs a slim stretch of paper with a single word on it scribbled in impeccable penmanship:

"Raincheck."

Xavier reaches for it.

Open it. Don't be a coward.

Against his better judgment, he unzips the bag all the way to the bottom. From within spills an extravagant evening dress with a stitching of the night sky stretching over a river. It's made of the finest silk and stitched with golden thread. Precious gems adorn the breathtaking scenery. A long flowing skirt ripples down to the floor. The quality is second to none. Without a doubt, it's a work of art. One of a kind.

Ellara will be a vision in this. Radiant, like a Goddess of the moon.

Shame it is not intended for you.

Anger simmers like an acid pill in his gut.

Because this item is clearly not something Ellara would ever buy for herself.

And who else could it be from but him, the same man that had dared to take her deep into the darkness, to touch her with his filthy hands, and to mark her like he owned her?

How dare he?

For centuries, Xavier had waited. Prayed and hoped. Then waited again. And at last -- at long last! -- he'd found her in a place where her life was her own. In a time when she could live as she desired and could choose him. He'd vowed not to interfere with her free will -- vowed to let her decide of her own volition whether she wanted their paths to unite. More than anything, he wanted her health and happiness, even if that wasn't by his side.

But, never had he really imagined that she might choose someone else instead.

Dizzy with fury, he stumbles back into the living room to stand before the couch. He watches Ellara sleep, his hands trembling and his heart in his throat. His nails dig into his palm as his hand clenches into a fist. He fights against the voice, so loud now. So insistent.

...she's so warm...and alive...alive at last...and mine... MINE ...

Why should he fight it? The voice was possessive, yes. Extreme, perhaps. But, it had a point. Nothing was yet decided. Sylus had played his cards, and now it was Xavier's turn. He'd waited on the sidelines long enough. He wasn't going to surrender her heart without a fight.

But, the voice was wrong, too.

Her free will mattered above all else. His vow was eternal, and he would never break it no matter how his soul cracked and shattered. He loved this woman more than his own unnatural immortal life, bought at the expense of her very heart. And it was that heart that he would protect with all he had.

From any who would harm it.

Even the monster inside of him.

As though sensing his determination, Sylus's crow flutters in through the open door and settles on a nearby bookshelf. It's crimson eyes narrow as it stares Xavier down.

Time to take care of this particular nuisance. He raises his hand, prepared to strike the unnatural thing down with his Evol, when his Hunter's watch rings with a message from an unknown number. He accepts it, grimacing when he reads the contents.

Be content with your role...or risk losing the gift you've been granted.

He types back without hesitation: "The loss will only be yours."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Twenty four days, nineteen hours...

That's how much time passes from the moment when my life shattered on the rocks of chaos. Or maybe it wasn't a moment. Maybe it was a specific day? I can't be sure. So much happened in such a short amount of time that I can still hardly wrap my head around it all. In just a few weeks, I'd gone from living a calm and ordinary life as a Deepspace Hunter to facing one dramatic turn after another.

I'm losing my identity - my very purpose.

Who am I, if not a Hunter fighting Wanderers?

Who am I, if not Xavier's trusted partner?

Who am I, if not a lonely young woman who loves reading about detectives and fantastical new realms to a candlelit microwave dinner?

I try to think back on how it all started, wondering if maybe there was something I could have done differently to prevent this downward spiral.

Upon returning to Linkon, Xavier and I checked ourselves into Akso Hospital to treat our injuries. Doctor Zayne happened to be on shift. After hearing about my near-death experience, he was more than glad to help in screening me for any major after-effects. While succumbing to his battery of tests and inquiries, we reached out to Captain Jenna to schedule a debriefing.

As expected, the Captain was relieved to hear that I was alive and seemed to believe our story about me being injured and staying with a friend to lay low for a while. Naturally, the conversation turned to the truth about what happened in the club the night of the explosions. Reluctantly, we gave her everything we had on Noxis. There was no one better than Xavier and I to continue the investigation, and she was poised to place us at the head of it once our injuries were healed.

That's where everything started falling apart.

Doctor Zayne returned, and when he dismissed everyone from the room to speak to me, I knew something was seriously wrong. He didn't disappoint. Showing me the result of one test after another, he revealed a disturbing fact.

My Evol was gone.

Completely.

Something was blocking the Evol channels in my body, and if it wasn't resolved soon, my heart would be affected. The bouts of exhaustion I'd been facing weren't a result of the darkness in the N109 Zone. My Aether Core was shutting down, and there was no guarantee that one of these times, it wouldn't take my entire heart with it. At least, that was the theory. Not enough was really known about altered bodies like mine. Maybe Zayne was taking it too seriously; or maybe I wasn't taking it seriously enough.

Whatever the case, I asked him to keep it confidential. I didn't want anyone to know, especially Xavier. A solution was out there. I just needed to find it. Zayne said it could be temporary. If so, I just needed to figure out what would jump start my body back into its normal function. I wanted to remain positive. The alternative simply wasn't acceptable. I had too much to live for; too much still to do.

Though Zayne agreed to keep my sudden health problem a secret, I couldn't necessarily hide that something was amiss. He gave the Association a cursory diagnosis, claiming that I had a temporary disability due to my injuries. That's what we used for official record. However, the disappearance of my Evol rendered me basically useless in my former role as an S-Class Hunter. I retained my physical combat skills, but I couldn't Resonate with any of my weapons. I was more of a burden in combat than an ally, and with how fast paced and dynamic S-Class missions were, nobody could take the risk.

The first week went by in a flash of shattered hopes. I trained relentlessly, pinning everything on how weak my body was after my ordeal at the Mythe. I trained until I was ready to fall over. Yet, no matter how much I pushed my body, my Evol remained dormant.

On the second week, I was placed on extended medical leave. Suspension in all but name. Jenna wanted to reassign Xavier to a different Hunter as a partner, but he pulled some strings to avoid that. The thought was appreciated, but it did no good. Though my partnership with Xavier wasn't nullified, I was not allowed to accompany him on any missions.

After my diagnosis, he'd thrown himself into the Noxis investigations. He was determined to find out as much information as possible about the substance. We were both on the same wavelength. If my condition was caused by the LUMINIS spilling on me at the Mythe, we needed an antidote. This goal ultimately separated us for days on end, leaving me feeling useless and alone.

Tara was still in the hospital recovering after her kidnapping. She'd been transferred from the hospital in the Arctic to Akso just a few days before our return to Linkon. Unfortunately for us, she had no memory of who had attacked her. I visited her when I could, but she had her own battles to fight with physical therapy and getting back into her work at the lab.

To help ease my loneliness and help me feel more connected to what was happening, Xavier brought me to his friend Jeremiah. He was a tech genius and helped me obtain and configure a new phone and Hunter's watch. Since I was on suspension, my access to the UNICORNS database was revoked. Somehow, he helped me get past that. At the very least, I could do research now.

I started to lose hope in the third week. By the fourth, I couldn't sleep and hardly had any appetite. Worse yet, Sylus hadn't contacted me even once since we were separated on the battlefield. At first, I was worried something had happened. But then, doubts plagued me. More than once, I found myself brooding over what the twins had told me about being a prisoner or something Sylus was merely using for entertainment. A disturbing thought began to haunt me: had Sylus known about the disappearance of my Evol? Is that why he'd sent me away? Was I no longer useful to him without it?

I couldn't believe that he hadn't tried to reach me even once. The only line I had to him was Mephisto, who followed me everywhere I went. The crow's presence was oddly reassuring. At the very least, it helped remind me that I hadn't dreamed up everything that had happened in N109. Mephisto was Sylus's companion. He wouldn't have sent him to follow me if he didn't care about me. Right?

As I sit on my couch trying to understand where to turn or what to do next, my phone suddenly rings with a tone I've never heard before. I look down at the flashing notification.

Message from "Unknown". Do you accept?

I click the confirmation.

Are you tired of being on the sidelines? If you are, meet me at the Destiny Café tonight at 9PM. Come alone.

I hesitate. My hands start to tremble with excitement and fear. This doesn't sound like something Sylus would say, but who else would write a message like this?

I type back: "Who is this?"

To my surprise, my phone rings again.

What you choose to call me doesn't matter. I already told you, didn't I?

Biting my lip, I type a response: "Malakai?"

I have what you want most and a proposition to go with it. Will you wait until your heart stops beating at some random moment? Or will you come to me and make a trade? It's up to you.

I suck in a breath.

What I want most?

He can't be talking about an antidote, can he?

I jump to my feet and run to my closet. Sliding open the door, I notice a strange empty hanger I hadn't seen there before. Did Xavier bring it from his place? Shaking my head, I focus on getting dressed. I put on my Hunter uniform and holster two regular hand guns to my hips. I pull on a pair of combat boots and tie my hair into a braid. Glancing at my watch, I check the time:

2:15 PM

It's still early, but I want to go and scope out the scene before the meeting time. The Destiny Café is a very public place with many visitors and patrons. The 24-Hour venue is a popular hot spot for everyone from couples to gaming nerds who want to get away from the hustle and bustle of the every day. It has a public open bar, an internet café, and private rooms that can be rented for a fee per hour. No doubt Malakai will have rented one of these. If so, I can check the records with the staff. Though I'm on suspension, my Hunter's watch and uniform should make me look legit enough to gain some information without too much resistance. 

Would Malakai really try something under such public scrutiny? 

This could be a trap. It probably is. Absolutely. Definitely. But, I don't have the luxury to risk refusing. If Malakai has an antidote, then I have to try to get it. I don't know what connection he has to Noxis or why he was at the Mythe that fateful night, but this is a lead I absolutely can't ignore. His threat about my heart already has me sweating bullets. I've been trying to ignore Zayne's warnings, hoping that it was just his paranoia. But now, a second person has mentioned the possibility of my heart stopping. If that's true, then I'm living on borrowed time. Either I go and risk falling into a trap, or I stay here and wait for death to take me. When put that way, the choice seems clear. 

Is there anything I can do to try to protect myself, though? Jumping into the fire is something my old self would have done without thinking. But, I'm wiser now. At least, I want to believe so. I consider texting Xavier, but I hesitate. He's on a mission right now, and I don't want to distract him. But, I'd promised Sylus that I wouldn't be reckless, and I never want to see so much pain in Xavier's eyes again.

Running my hand through my hair and letting out a frustrated burst of air, I type him a quick text to let him know what's going on. Our relationship has been strange since our return to Linkon. He's been more distant than usual, though I can't really blame him after that awkward night at the bunker in the No Hunt Zone. I have no idea what he thinks of me anymore, and I'm too scared to assume. For the moment, I've chosen to stick my head in the sand until all of this blows over with my Evol.

I glance at Mephisto dozing on top of my TV and walk up to him. He lazily cracks open an eye. If I had to give an animal an emotion, I would have chosen "disgruntled" in this case. For a mechanical thing, he certainly has personality. Frowning, I clear my throat. I've haven't spoken to him in a while. Doing so always felt ridiculous. But, now...

"Sylus," I whisper, instantly feeling like an idiot. Despite that, I keep going.

"Sylus, I don't know if you can hear me. I don't know where you are or why you haven't reached out to me at all. Actually," my ears feel hot, "this just feels really stupid overall. But if there's a chance that you can hear me, then..." I take a breath. "I'm going to meet someone named Malakai. Tonight. Don't know if that name rings a bell. I met him at the Mythe the night I was injured. He was wearing a mask and seemed to be one of the people interested in buying LUMINIS. I have no idea if this is a trap, but he made me an offer I can't refuse."

My pride churns and boils inside me, but I take another breath and continue. "The truth is that I'm helpless right now. I don't have my Evol, and even if I did..." I hesitate. Why is it always so hard for me to ask anyone for help? Is it because I already feel weak and useless? Isn't asking for help just affirming that?

Another breath.

"This isn't courage. It's desperation, and if you can hear me I surely would appreciate some backup."

Mephisto is looking at me with both eyes now, the red within reminding me so much of his master. For a moment, I let myself feel how much I miss Sylus. How much I need him. The emotion is so strong that I have to immediately bury it deep within the back of my mind. Where I'm going, I can't afford distractions. I have to assume the worst case scenario: nobody will come to help me tonight. It'll be up to me and me alone to get myself out of this mess.

I turn towards the door and check my guns and clips one last time.

"Are you coming?" I ask Mephisto. He caws in his typical annoying way and makes a fuss as he flies over and reluctantly sits on my shoulder. "Alright. Let's do this."

[thatguysdumb]

hey i literally only joined tumblr to be able to interact with other jewish people and up until now i've just been lurking and following and liking but i really want to have like actual interactions with people 

so yeah this is my application to jumblr

(also i don't have the website im on the app so i don't think i cab see/respond to messages ?)

(and yes i know i need to add stuff to my bio i'll get there)

[apparentlybychance]

Sold Out for Their Love Story: How I let go of my need for a Happily Ever After for Louis and Harry

(I need to give a bit of backstory before we jump into the ooey gooey sappy love story part. Please bear with me.)

In October 2021 I saw a picture of Harry Styles hand in hand with a woman I didn't recognize (like at all). He looked like he'd rather eat dirt than be near her. That was was the day I fell down the rabbit hole harder than when Harry fell on stage after fighting with the mic wire.

About me: I'm a PR and Social Media Marketing Director. Recognizing a carefully crafted marketing campaign is easy for me and that's exactly what this was. So I did some research because I wanted to prove myself right about it being a PR stunt. What I didn't realize was that I was about to discover one of the greatest love stories of our generation.

I'm Gen X and not Gen Z so I did my research about this awkward coupling on Google and not TikTok (shade not intended, I think). From there, the Larrie gods led me to YouTube and I found the Cosmic Leeds videos. (Side note: pour one out for their 2022 video when you think of them, because Jesus, Mary and Joseph, they have a job ahead of them!)

That led me to Twitter (don't judge - social media marketer here, remember?) and I was legit skerred. (Translation: skerred is southern for scared.) The Twarries are a rare and passionate breed, but it was all me, really. I honestly couldn't keep up! From there I found my way to Tumblr and settled into several months of quiet lurking. It wasn't until a bomb shell that I considered H-U-G-E in the fandom happened. I won't mention names, but a "big" TikTok-er was unlarrying.) *GASP*

I'm not ashamed to admit that my fetus Larrie heart was SHOOK. TO. ITS. CORE. I panicked. Were these two beautiful boys who I had been watching fall in goofy, sloppy, sappy love in hundreds of videos and interviews, possibly not together anymore? I couldn't even imagine such a travesty. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I had to do something.

I did the only thing I could think of. I took a deep breath and tentatively messaged a blogger here on Tumblr. I had followed her for months and trusted her for her level-headed responses. As I hit SEND on the message, I panicked. Would she ignore me completely? Or worse, just brush me off with a "get-a-life newbie", remark? Who was I but just a newborn Larrie? I was even newer than the pandemic Larries. Yikes! Imagine the shame I felt.

She responded almost immediately and she couldn't have been more welcoming and kind. She didn't treat me like a know-nothing newbie, but listened to my question with patience. She walked me through my first Larrie breakdown. (I've since learned that breaking down is a rite of passage in the fandom.) I now consider her a friend. Always in my heart @twopoppies. Yours sincerely, @Apparentlybychance.

<Insert one of may fav Harry and Louis pics to make sure you're still paying attention>:

Now onto the good stuff: the romance of it all.

(One more tidbit: I'm also a novelist. No, I don't write fan fiction. I leave that to the professionals, but my day job does allow me to indulge in my passion which is writing stories. This is where our sweet boys had me.)

Do I blame Louis and Harry for the fact that I've devoted more time to them than cleaning my house the last few months?

Yes. Yes I do. I mean just LOOK at how stinkin' adorable they are. My god.

As a fiction writer, I see a story in everything and everywhere. When I found Harry and Louis' story and watched with my own two eyes the genuine love they had for each other, I jumped in feet first and landed too hard. I saw the heart eyes and infatuation of the baby boyfriends and was hopelessly lost in their story.

Harry...sugar, wow. Just wow. You were a mess falling all over yourself to impress and attract your golden, bright as the sun, idol. And Louis sweetie, bless your little heart. You spent at least a full year trying to convince yourself this beautiful creature with the soft curls and the potent pheromones that you called "his smell" was real.

We get it. We really do. You both were (are) so smitten. And that feral need to touch each other every waking moment developed into a settled, hard fought, partnership between two committed lovers by 2015. It was breathtaking to watch.

What's not to love about their love story?

That's where I went off the rails. Maybe you see yourself in this, too? Let's discuss.

Story is ingrained in our very beings as humans. Our ancestors verbally told stories to pass down traditions and legends from one generation to the next. This wasn't only because they hadn't invented the alphabet yet, but because they knew that story was the best way to get to the heart of a person. To captivate them.

Harry and Louis' captivated me because it has all the elements of a good story:

No. 1: Captivating protagonists. Exhibit A, Your Honor: Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles. Have you ever seen more gorgeous, sweeter, more talented, more adorable protagonists? No, me neither.

No. 2: Vitriol inducing villain(s): Simon Cowell/Modest Management/Syco. Do I have to say anything else? Here we have our villain, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. The evil entity who want to keep the lovers apart, cancel their love, and crush their sweet spirits because of greed and the strong possibility that Simon isn't getting any in his own life. (Bless.)

No. 3: Magic and glamour: This is the part where story reigns supreme. (Genuinely sorry if that word was triggering.) Here we have two members of a global popstar boy band that had a meteoric rise to fame. They are rich, gorgeous, uber talented and travel to places they can't even pronounce. Not to mention, they look amazing in every article of clothing that has the privilege to grace their bodies. Will they be able to defeat the villain and finally express their love for the whole world to see? Their story is swoon-worthy. No exaggeration.

With all the makings of a good story, we are mesmerized by our star-crossed lovers, raise our swords and vow to see them through to the end. Standing behind us, they will be rescued from the nasty villain and finally be free to ride off into the sunset together to make beautiful music and raise curly-haired, ocean-blue eyed, chubby babies together. And then the famous last words cross the final page of the book: And they lived happily ever after.

Let's all just bask in that moment for a second. Our boys are free to be whoever they want to be. TOGETHER. Isn't that the pinnacle? The climax?

Am I the only one who didn't find themselves right here in this story? I definitely did when I joined the fandom. I assumed that Harry and Louis' total goal was to free from their shackles and ride off into the sunset. Surely, it was imminent. Right?

A year later, I understood why I that was immature of me. I realized that this is no fairy tale and Louis and Harry are real people. They have ambitions and goals and passions and talent and yes, immense, mature love for their partner of over 12 years.

They've been generous to share their love with us and give us signs about when they were happy and signs when they were in distress and needed support. They are still so grateful for our love and support. But I think I have to realize that they aren't ready to ride off into the sunset with their little cherubs just yet. They still have stuff to do. Goals to achieve. Talent to use. And they've chosen to pursue it the ways we are watching. With (nausea inducing) stunts that help them create a story that sells to a wider audience. It's hard for me to watch them make decisions in their lives and careers that I don't agree with or even condone. But, hey, my teenagers do it all the time so why am I surprised?

What I personally need to do for my sanity as a forever Larrie is to learn to trust them. I need to learn to let them tell their own story in the way they want. And if they don't like how their new teams are trying to get them to sell themselves, I have to believe they are strong enough together to do what they need to do to change it - though it may take time. And I need to stop looking for the Happily Ever After just around the corner. I'm really working on this part because if I was writing this damn story, they would have lit a match, set fire to the industry and watched it burn a long time ago. But I digress...

These are some things I'm doing now to release my need for the Happily Ever After and still make me feel like I'm supporting them:

I'm taking their contagious affection, care, attentiveness, hot af sex life, and sappy love declarations and bringing that same energy to my personal relationship. So far, I'm getting a good response. (wink, wink)

Despite facing incredible industry adversity, Harry and Louis are both driven to create art that is as authentic to themselves as possible while realizing that they also have to create something that other people want to buy. I've started applying that philosophy to my own art (my writing) and am releasing the fear of not being good enough. It's made for some interesting stories!

I've reached out to a local organization in my area that supports LGBTQI+ teenagers to support them in a volunteer capacity. I'm not queer myself, but I'm a good listener and I have some skills I can share to help the organization tell their story and build support. Maybe I can't take on a multi-billion dollar industry like the f-ing music industry, but by putting my time into supporting queer teens in my area, I can do something in the name of closeted queer artists all over the world.

I think it goes without saying that I'm also still on Tumblr reading all the posts from all my favorite bloggers enjoying "everything Louis and Harry" both together and individually. Maybe someday I'll get that Happily Ever After. ❤

[monstersinthecosmos]

Do you think the show really will be cancelled? And do you think the awful part of the fandom that sprung up from it will go away anytime soon if it does?

tbh I really don't know enough about the show to have an opinion on that. I'm not really interested in hate-watching or lurking in fandoms that I don't belong to LOL so I'm not really on the inside of any gossip about how it's looking behind the scenes and I don't really want to speculate because I know I don't have all the information. I think this question is for people who are more invested or have more industry knowledge than I do!

As far as the "awful" part, if you mean fandom casual normies who travel from fandom to fandom like locusts to harass people until all the creators give up: Yes, they will move on. I think sometimes in fandoms you get like, casual normies who discover there's a subculture of nerds they can harass, and they do that for a couple years until it either gets boring or their personality grows enough to have more productive passions, and there's also fandom lifers who actually like, care about their thing (probably in a ND fashion tbh) and are usually the ones who stick around and make all the content that everyone else wants to consume.

The casual normies also just tend to have such underdeveloped senses of self that they join tumblr bc it's the thing to do, and pick a fandom because it's a thing to do, and they spend their whole time fandoming in such a deep state of denial that this might be a real hobby and there might be real people participating that they just neg everybody and shit on it the whole time for being cringe without realizing that they're here too lol. Like the amount of times a bully has tried to shame someone for being too passionate, and used "it's not that deep" as a conversation stopper, etc. These folks will move on because they're here because they're bored, not because they actually are POSSESSSED by the THING. (and hey, if you joined a fandom because you're bored THAT'S GREAT that's how we all got here in the first place, but don't shit on the carpet lol please be respectful to the space you just intruded upon!)

So a show going off the air isn't going to deter the people who actually love it. I mean, my other fandom is Sheith and that show was A. Terrible, B. Over in 2018, and the fandom is still going strong because a lot of people genuinely love the characters. I'd even say the same of VC book fandom, especially considering how much of the fandom falls off after the trilogy, and that ended like, 30 years ago LOL.

The thing about fandoms is that they're self-generating, right? And if you're one of the deep fandom nerd lifers you'll learn this if you haven't yet. Even AMC fandom; S1 ended a year ago and fandom is going strong. Part of it is the hope and hobby of watching news drip out - SURE! But it's also the fanart and fics and meta and conversation. The season is what, like, 7 hours long? And I'm SURE that the deep nerd lifers have spent way way way way way more hours than that reading fanfiction by now. And fanfics can really supplement a canon and give people ideas and deepen their love of the source. So I'm positive that there are people out there who have been moved to tears by fic and feel so strongly about THOSE stories, as well, and it just deepens their love of the show when they return to rewatch.

From 2016-2018 I exclusively read Yuri on Ice fic and there was only one season. And that season is even shorter! It's like 4.5 hours of canon! But when I think about YOI I am thinking about like multitude of NOVELS I've read about it, not JUST the 4.5 hours of canon, right?

All fandoms are like this. Fanworks are the lifeblood. And even with book fandom's lack of fic, I still feel that the friends I've made are the experience here, and how we can chatter all day & night about Armand forever and never get tired of it because we're all ND weirdos lol. I mean my Armand friends and I just spent a week in New Orleans together, it was the best! And as a fanfic writer, I will ALWAYS want to dedicate my free time to writing stories and talking about the blorbos, and I share those stories because fandom is self-generating and I want to do my part in keeping it alive. People create stuff and make friends and stick around well past the death of canon because they are POSSESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I hope that one day when the show is finished that the bad actors get bored and move on and the creators and true fans stick around and keep making stuff, because bullying people and being a cunt uses up a LOT of energy that could be better spent on productive and creative hobbies when they're ready to heal themselves and grow up. It's just not sustainable! :)

[mariana-oconnor]

The Golden Pince-Nez pt 2

Oooh map! We have the map. I love maps.

This is a really weird looking house, though. I mean, those two corridors just go from that 1 room directly to either the outside or to the guy's bedroom? That's an unusual layout.

Love that we have a little x to show us exactly where in the room Smith's body was. O Willoughby, Willoughby, Willoughby Smith. We didn't know you and now you're a stiff. O Willoughby, Willoughby, Willoughby, say, From whom did they come, those golden pince-nez?

Apparently a very visually impaired woman whose eyes are remarkably close together and whose nose is rather wide, according to Holmes' assessment anyway.

We saw the cold winter sun rise over the dreary marshes of the Thames and the long, sullen reaches of the river, which I shall ever associate with our pursuit of the Andaman Islander in the earlier days of our career.

Do we know about the Andaman Islander? Am I forgetting something? Is that from one of the novels rather than the short stories, because it's been a long time since I've read those. Also, Watson is clearly feeling uninspired this morning. This is probable because he was up until stupid o'clock last night and then had to be up on time to catch the morning train before breakfast. Poor life choices.

I saw an intent look pass over Holmes's face. “You say that she must have come back this way?” “Yes, sir; there is no other.” “On this strip of grass?” “Certainly, Mr. Holmes.”

Alright... so there's something off about the marks in the grass. The grass is only bent in one direction, perhaps? Idk how tracking in grass works. You know who you need?

"This garden door is usually kept open, I suppose? Then this visitor had nothing to do but to walk in."

I like locked doors. The idea that anyone could just walk into my house at any moment is very upsetting to me. It is the role of the door to prevent that from happening. I could not live like this.

(I literally just tried to undo something and deleted more than half of this post, wtf Tumblr? I will try to reconstruct it from memory)

"Halloa! what is that scratch upon the face of it? Just hold a match, Watson. Why did you not tell me of this, Hopkins?” The mark which he was examining began upon the brass work on the right-hand side of the keyhole, and extended for about four inches, where it had scratched the varnish from the surface. “I noticed it, Mr. Holmes. But you'll always find scratches round a keyhole.”

I was going to defend Hopkins at this point, but then I read that the scratch was 4 inches long and presumable fresh, so nope, sorry, can't help you there. That's kind of a key piece of evidence.

I wonder if the professor is an alcoholic...

Sorry, couldn't resist that one.

"Halloa, Hopkins! this is very important, very important indeed. The Professor's corridor is also lined with cocoanut matting.” “Well, sir, what of that?” “Don't you see any bearing upon the case?"

So many Halloas in this part.

I expect the bearing is that it means the murderer could also have left down this passageway without their footsteps being heard. Which raises suspicion of the Professor.

It was a very large chamber, lined with innumerable volumes, which had overflowed from the shelves and lay in piles in the corners, or were stacked all round at the base of the cases.

Interior decor goals. I mean, I almost live like this already, but still, goals.

The bed was in the centre of the room...

(From This Tumblr Post)

Clearly the Professor is evil. No one else could sleep in a bed like that, unmoored from the world, surrounded by space, adrift from good reason and sanity.

I have seldom seen a more remarkable-looking person. It was a gaunt, aquiline face which was turned towards us, with piercing dark eyes, which lurked in deep hollows under overhung and tufted brows. His hair and beard were white, save that the latter was curiously stained with yellow around his mouth. A cigarette glowed amid the tangle of white hair, and the air of the room was fetid with stale tobacco-smoke. As he held out his hand to Holmes I perceived that it also was stained yellow with nicotine.

'Curiously stained with yellow' > proceeds to immediately explain why it is stained with yellow.

"I can recommend them, for I have them especially prepared by Ionides of Alexandria. He sends me a thousand at a time, and I grieve to say that I have to arrange for a fresh supply every fortnight. Bad, sir, very bad, but an old man has few pleasures."

This guy... this guy imports 1000 cigarettes a fortnight. 1000 a fortnight. That's over 70 a day. That's 3 an hour if he doesn't sleep. 4.5 an hour if he gets 8 hours a night. Sure, the internet tells me it takes about 5 minutes to smoke a cigarette, so he isn't actually chain smoking. He could totally smoke more. Really the take away from this is that he needs to work harder at this and stop his reliance on such unnecessary things as oxygen.

70 a day... yikes.

And he knows it's bad for him, too. What? 40 years before the first study in the US saying the same thing? 60 years before it became big news? The tobacco companies really messed with our understanding of things, huh?

Also, the fact that he can afford to import 1000 cigarettes every two weeks and still has the money to have servants, a nice house, and a secretary. This guy has way more money than any academic I've ever met, that's for sure.

“Alas! what a fatal interruption! Who could have foreseen such a terrible catastrophe? So estimable a young man! I assure you that after a few months' training he was an admirable assistant."

Maybe it's because of how unpleasant his introductory description was. Maybe it's because it was preceded by the implication that the murderer could have got into his room unheard. Or maybe it's just that he asks a rhetorical question here and I can never hear a person in this sort of a situation say 'Who could have forseen such a thing?' without my brain automatically answering 'You, I bet.' But Professor seems sus.

Or maybe it's just his bed.

“I shall indeed be indebted to you if you can throw a light where all is so dark to us. To a poor bookworm and invalid like myself such a blow is paralyzing. I seem to have lost the faculty of thought. But you are a man of action—you are a man of affairs. It is part of the everyday routine of your life. You can preserve your balance in every emergency. We are fortunate indeed in having you at our side.”

Yep, super sus. That's way too much complimenting of Sherlock and way too much insistence upon his own infirmity.

I observed that he was smoking with extraordinary rapidity. It was evident that he shared our host's liking for the fresh Alexandrian cigarettes.

I suspect that this is for a different reason from the one Watson is thinking, but also NO HOLMES, do not be sucked into the 70 imported cigarettes a day pipeline.

“That is my magnum opus—the pile of papers on the side table yonder. It is my analysis of the documents found in the Coptic monasteries of Syria and Egypt, a work which will cut deep at the very foundations of revealed religion. With my enfeebled health I do not know whether I shall ever be able to complete it now that my assistant has been taken from me."

okayokayokay Tentative theory:

The professor's research is based on a lie. Everything he's worked on is based on some incorrect fact about a historical 'she' being somewhere or not being somewhere, and he has (or had) evidence that it was incorrect in his desk. WIlloughby worked it out and was breaking into the desk to get the evidence when the professor snuck up behind him and stabbed him in the neck, then scarpered back up the passage-way as fast as his tar-filled lungs would let him.

“I am a connoisseur,” said he, taking another cigarette from the box—his fourth—and lighting it from the stub of that which he had finished.

OK, now that is chain smoking. I really hope there's a reason for this and it isn't just a weird thing ACD put in for no reason.

"What do you imagine that this poor fellow meant by his last words: ‘The Professor—it was she’?”

That his research was a house of cards, built on nothing but hot air. That he was a fraud and his thesis fabrication. That his entire life's work would be worth more as kindling than as an academic paper.

Maybe I'm basing things on vibes again, a little bit. Sorry.

“Susan is a country girl,” said he, “and you know the incredible stupidity of that class."

Nope. Fuck that shit. Not sorry at all. I hope the Professor is guilty. Patronising, classist, intellectual elitist piece of shit. I'm all-in for Team 'The Professor Did It' and even if he didn't do this crime, he's definitely done some other crime somewhere.

“Possibly an accident; possibly—I only breathe it among ourselves—a suicide. Young men have their hidden troubles—some affair of the heart, perhaps, which we have never known. It is a more probable supposition than murder.”

Yeah, because stabbing yourself in the back of the neck is such an efficient way to do it? No wonder your research is so terrible when this is the amount of thought you put into things. Wow.

An accident? How very Final Destination of you.

“But the eye-glasses?”

Fine. Those I can't explain. Maybe they were what was hidden in the drawer and Willoughby found them? But why would the professor then leave them in plain sight? Maybe if Willoughby was the only person who knew what they meant?

So, secondary theory. The Professor's work is still rubbish and based on lies, but it's not Willoughby who found out, necessarily, it's some unknown woman with terrible eyesight and eyes very close together and a big nose, and she came to confront the professor then went missing. Willoughby knew about her going missing, but the professor claimed she'd never been to see him and the pince-nez are the proof the professor was lying.

And the woman is... dead in a ditch somewhere?

Needs work.

“Ah! I am only a student—a man of dreams. I cannot explain the practical things of life."

Oh shut up with your false modesty nonsense. Ugh. You're terrible.

...he continued to walk up and down for some time, lost in thought and consuming cigarette after cigarette.

Is Holmes trying to get through the Professor's entire supply so he has to order more? Wtf?

“Tell me, Professor Coram,” he said, at last, “what is in that cupboard in the bureau?” “Nothing that would help a thief. Family papers, letters from my poor wife, diplomas of Universities which have done me honour. Here is the key. You can look for yourself.”

Well obviously he's removed anything incriminating from it now. Pah

“It depends upon those cigarettes that I smoked,” said he. “It is possible that I am utterly mistaken. The cigarettes will show me.”

I have no idea how the cigarettes are involved in this, I confess. Is the professor involved in a smuggling ring?

I may have remarked before that Holmes had, when he liked, a peculiarly ingratiating way with women, and that he very readily established terms of confidence with them. In half the time which he had named he had captured the housekeeper's goodwill, and was chatting with her as if he had known her for years.

You mean he's good with people? Good at talking to people? Particularly women?

*side-eyes adaptations*

Is this the passage that they had in mind when they did that whole Enola Holmes lawsuit?

“I suppose the Professor eats hardly anything?” “Well, he is variable. I'll say that for him.” “I'll wager he took no breakfast this morning, and won't face his lunch after all the cigarettes I saw him consume.” “Well, you're out there, sir, as it happens, for he ate a remarkable big breakfast this morning."

Is he keeping a secret woman under his bed? Does she sneak in and have breakfast with him?

So weird.

"Well, it takes all sorts to make a world, and the Professor hasn't let it take his appetite away.”

Because he's a terrible human being.

Alright, at the end of this part, my current theory is that the Professor has some kind of secret meetings with a woman with very close-set eyes and terrible eyesight. Willoughby found out and the Professor lied to him about it, then Willoughby found the woman's glasses in the drawer and the Professor, or the unknown woman, killed him for it. Who she is, why she was meeting the professor, why it was so paramount that no one find out, I don't know.

Also, the Professor's research is terrible and founded on lies, because I just want him to fail at life.

And there are cigarettes... or something.

Yeah... there may be some gaps. I'm working on it.

[shallow-between-stars]

Oops.

Hi, um, yes! Hello!

So, uhh, it's been seven years. I recovered my account about... a month ago and that was an ordeal, then did nothing with that for a bit, then lurked for a bit and am now posting.

SO WHAT HAPPENED YOU ASK?

Short answer: Life.

Long answer: Life, pets, work, and a side of what I think was HORRIBLE BURNOUT.

I didn't really notice I was pulling away from Tumblr, but I kinda did, which is absolutely my bad. Then, y'know, shit happened.

I got back from China in... 2017... promptly lost my job, ended up with a new job I loved for a company I hated, worked there for five years or so. Had to people, like, a lot.

My job was entirely dealing with people. Mostly people under 12. And my poor, introverted soul really struggled with that most days and came home, crashed on the couch and slept. When it wasn't school term, it was holiday care, when it wasn't holiday care it was school term. I was responsible for a lot, including making sure a daily average of 30 kids didn't hurt themselves.

And, y'know, about a year into that, my father (who I love a lot better at a distance) and I had a conversation (started by me) about my moving out of the family home. Mum and Dad basically refused to let me rent and (I'm showing my upper middle class, here, sorry) bought me a house that I am slowly paying them back for.

Yes, I know, and I am so very grateful for their support.

My dad and I shopped together and picked out a (unbeknownst to us) house-flipped 30 year old property with a great back yard and some small things that needed fixing, and I packed my bags and over the course of a week, I moved in.

And then I did what every responsible new home owner would do and waited until I moved in and was settled before making any more drastic life changes.

...

...

...Yeah. I'm lying.

I got two dogs. Ranger, who is the end result of putting all your points into Charisma and Constitution and using Wisdom as a dump stat, and Rogue who went the Int/Dex route but forgot that constitution exists. Seriously. I had her a week and she nearly died from -eating chicken.-

(She's allergic, we have discovered in the interim. She's also five now, arthritic and incontinent, the very definition of THE BEST DOG WITH SHITTY HEALTH ever. I'd say she's the living embodiment of 'adopt, don't shop', but the other dog's adopted and has an almost 1:1 ratio of "years alive" and "windows broken because he got scared".)

So. I worked a shitty job for five years (and through Covid, my job was considered an essential role which meant I worked straight through the pandemic, with children, which was low-key terrifying), and then in an episode of "nepo baby" a friend of my mother's got me a job at a high school for kids with behavioural issues where I worked for the better part of last year teaching EAL/D to refugees. I loved the kids to pieces, but as you could probably tell from the 'refugee' part of that sentence, these kids came with very heavy stories and my heart was broken for them more often than not.

Anyway, due to a contract kerfuffle at the end of last year I found myself out of that job, but my boss stepped in for another episode of "nepo baby" and sourced me a -new- job with a friend of hers working at a different school, where I am now. Still teaching high school, still teaching EAL/D and still loving every minute of it.

Anyway, I'm writing again, which is great, and something that I haven't managed to do consistently for years (See: HORRIBLE BURNOUT) and am excited to be -almost- ready to post some new content to my sadly neglected AO3, where the last thing I posted was about... two and a half years ago and at the tail end of Covid.

Surprising no-one, the content I have most recently written is Kal and Bull.

Surprising probably a lot of people, I still haven't played Baldur's Gate 3, but I've got three weeks of holidays in about a month so maybe I will play it then? Maybe?

[shiny-jr]

i just.... (squimshes warde and kurse) my boys. my Silly Littleman slaughterers. i miss them. since reqs are open -- mayhaps you would be willing to spare a sap of a soul some content about Them? maybe... maybe something like our MC wearing partly revealing clothes? perhaps they'd both be pleasantly shocked because wow!! in their era (and this world) they have never seen this robust fashion style! (and they can't deny how jawdropping it looks on our MC)

Warning: Yandere thing (like none, really). Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Warde, Kurse.

Note: The lads. The boys. I think this is the first time anyone has actually sent something in about them. Oh, btw, you sent this ask in like three times. I don't know if that was an error on Tumblr's end or you did it purposefully, but please refrain from sending in repetitive asks. Thank you. Also, I'm gonna write the clothes as not really super revealing. Probably just shorts and sleeveless shirts, normal clothes. It makes more sense that way, because the MC of that story is the equivalent of a broke and tired college student from a modern world while Warde comes from a very early 1900s period (loosely based off the Edwardian Era) and Kurse comes from a 1920's-1940's period (inspired by Roaring 20's and after).

WARDE, CREATION OF DARKNESS

At first when he was summoned, Warde is truly taken aback. You have to remember, Warde was a powerful figure in his last life. He was surrounded by war. So hardly anyone wore anything revealing, because it was best to be fully covered when danger was lurking around ever corner.

So imagine his horror when he's making you morning tea/coffee and sees you stumbling into the kitchen in shorts and an oversized t-shirt (your pjs). It nearly causes him to loose his composure, as his overprotective mind immediately questioned, what if they were stabbed? Those clothes provide no protection!

But then he remembers, wait... this world is different. There's no active war he plays a main part of. Still, he is constantly concerned. Eventually he'll grow accustomed to your outfit choices, but when you inquire his opinion on what clothes you should wear for the day, he always subtly suggests the clothes with most protection and enough layers.

It's not that he wants to control how you dress, he has no right to do that. It's merely a suggestion. After all, you are technically wanted in this magic world, and at any moment you could actually be stabbed or attacked. It's why he always carries around a change of clothes for you. Something that's breathable in, something that covers nearly every inch of your lower body.

Warde is still deeply paranoid that the worst can happen, but he won't ever argue with you if you wish to wear something else. Your happiness and comfort are still highly important to him. Now it just looks like he'll have to be more vigilant and protective, should someone even look at you wrong.

KURSE, THE CREATION OF LIGHTNING

Kurse is vastly different compared to his calm and orderly counterpart Warde. Yes, he too came from an early time period where wearing particular clothes may have been frowned upon. But in his time, people were changing and trying new styles, revealing more skin. Kurse took it to another level.

As an incredibly famous celebrity, Kurse got away with a lot. He dressed in some ways not seen as acceptable until years later, he acted in similar ways too. The creation is fond of clothing and fashion, since he sees it as a form of expression. He’s by far the best dressed creation (of the four there will eventually be). 

Probably even helps you decide on your outfit for the day, since his taste is impeccable. Enjoys it because it’s fun and he likes to give Warde a heart attack every once in while just to spite the older creation. You once taught him the word “slay” and that’s now his favorite word. You’ll often receive it in compliments from him.

He’s not really worried about people looking at you. He has enough confidence in himself and his skills, plus he believes people should dress as they please. The trouble you’ll have with him is not overprotectiveness like Warde, but sometimes when you make a wrong decision with your outfit, Kurse will flat-out tell you, and he does not kindly mince words. 

But anyways, he enjoys dressing you up just to steal you away from his counterpart. If you ask him for advice on an outfit, expect at least an hour or more of looking through the wardrobes or going out to buy more clothes. He’s going to make the most out of this time, and he’s not letting you go for a couple of hours.

[sansloii]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

NAME : Marshy/Marsh, Morsh/Morshy, Mushy, Murshy, and everything other misspelling of Marshy

PRONOUNS : She/Her or ( more recently ) They/Them! Either one works because i do not care in the slightest

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : discord! I'm usually lurking on discord a lot so like... discord is my go-to for ooc communication. ( it's princemorsh c: ). it might say "do not disturb" but it's not really "do not disturb". i'm just... very low energy and have the social battery of a goldfish

MOST ACTIVE MUSE : Mikah. No question, no debate--it's Mikah. They were the first muse I had on this blog and I will forever put Mikah first because i love them so much. more oft than not, if I don't know just who to throw at someone spontaneously, I'll throw Mikah because they're the easiest for me to just.... put somewhere. Dakota, Evan, and Wynn come up behind them a lot, though, and right now Dakota has me in a chokehold

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS : i fucked around on deviantart with friends when i was in middle school but like... i don't count that. so lets just skip forward to the middle of high school and say that i've been rping since i was like 15-16 ish? i'm 27 now so like. about a decade.

BEST EXPERIENCE : tumblr for sure. maybe not when i was like... in high school, but after i entered college, i really began to enjoy it. i've had mikah + them since.... 2016/2017ish i think? and I'm fully convinced that this blog has been my best experience overall. i also got to meet @soulsxng and @feraecor through it ;w; and i'm fully convinced that if not for those two, my experience here would've been so fundamentally different and i have such a hard time visualizing that now lmao. they've introduced me to wonderful people who, again, I think i would have a fundamentally different experience without them being there and i'm really grateful for that 🍏💚 that isn't to say that i haven't met ( and would fucking fight for ) people outside of that but like.... i think i would not have had as much of a motivation to continue writing if i didn't have these two to throw shit at early on again and again and again.

RP PET PEEVE : *does a dumb lil shimmy* i feel like a broken record with this particular peeve BUT like...okay--i enjoy shipping a lot. i love relationships and i love being silly with them and talking about them and reblogging shippy aesthetics and quotes. if you know me, you know that i love me a good fucking ship and i will think about it until the end of time. however, everything takes time. yes, they could end up together but it's not like there isn't a whole alphabet of things between when they meet and when they end up together. I don't want to rush or side step those conversations or interactions ( or ooc discussions about them ) for fluff, even if I too enjoy fluff, smooches, genuine romanticism, n.sfw content a lot.

and if my muse just... happens to not like yours the way we thought they would, that's okay. it doesn't mean that... anyone should pivot ( and i do mean pivot ) to a muse that is more agreeable or "nicer" in terms of... getting a ship. yeah we can stop throwing those two muses together but that doesn't immediately open me up to...making the other two kiss or fuck or say they're dating. esp when you ( not muse, mun ) are very obvious about the other muse being nicer and therefore "you want that one instead". or start getting weirdly pushy to "make it work" with the first muse because they'd be good together. or disregard the boundaries i've set with my muses and have clearly stated in my rules and ooc.

i make jokes and i laugh now about those experiences -- esp because it's happened more than twice. and i don't think anyone's, like... fucking evil for it or i that hate them over it. i just think it was some bullshit because it's the simplest "respect this basic boundary i've set and if you do, i will die for our little blorbos and ship anything with you." it's not a call for anyone to prove anything to me and it's not like... i'm expecting anyone to just turn off any thoughts of shipping my muses and theirs ( because i sure as shit don't ). no, no--i'm just saying it'll take a bit to be actionable and feel right for me to write my muses with said feelings in this way. i'm slow enough as is, just give me time.

PLOTS OR MEMES : both! i like memes for when my emotional battery is like. in the toilet but i want to write something. i fucking adore plotted things, though, and i think that some memes can lead into some plotted adventures! we don't gotta plot everything out, either. we can just throw our goblins against the wall and see where they stick--it's fine with me. sometimes, we can map out their entire lives and still not be able to cover everything that they're going to do.

i think it really depends. i definitely don't think the two are mutually exclusive and like... you can use one to contribute to the other.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i like to write a lot so i'll err on the side of long threads. it takes a bit to find my groove and.... figure out what I want to say but often times, i find myself deleting things from my replies because they are a little too long and i don't want to make anyone feel like i'm dumping multiple paragraphs on them.

if it's a plotted thread or ask, though, you're getting a fucking novel and i'm not compromising on that :)

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES : for the most part, no. there are bits and pieces of my persona or things i would say/wear/do here and there.... but as a whole, i'm pretty different from my muses. i... don't think people would like me much if i was like any of my muses fr, though, so i'm good with just being me, myself, and I

i stole this from @distopea some time ago so steal it from me

[heymrspatel]

Macy's Tag Game Tuesday Wednesday Thursday: Fandom Edition ✨

i was tagged by @celestialmickey @metalheadmickey @tanktopgallavich @suzy-queued and @gallawitchxx thank you loves!

your name: julissa. hi!

your age: 11,998 days old - i used an excel formula for this 🤘🏼

your first fandom(s): harry potter. *sigh* fuckin' 😒🙄😤 you know? but boy was i obsessed with it!

your current fandom(s): shameless! that's it. i might dip my toe in other stuff but nothing has quite had me in a grip like shameless in a while.

how did you first get into fandom? reading books and being obsessed and talking to my friends about it and making little drawings and then googling on the family computer until i stumbled upon a woooorld of like-minded people!

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? god i want to say like 20ish years now? wtf... i've just always been into something even if i wasn't active online. there was a period of time where i got overcome with life changes and starting my career where i didn't have it in me to BE online for much. but i was still very much into stuff! i've always made stuff just for me or had posters and little collectibles. idk who i am without fandom honestly. i was on tumblr for years in multiple fandoms before taking that break! then came back and lurked until you all drew me out of my little shadow.

how often do you read fanfics? asdlfkj it used to be every day, now i'm amazed if i do a couple times a week. that's sad 😔

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): ian, mickey, lip

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! oh god no

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? if so, drop a link! yes! i'm currently in a slump but hi yes. you can find them all here on tumblr orrr here is my ao3 for easier browsing!

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: oh no someone just slapped down an uno skip card. next question!

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? 3x05!!!!!!! they're digging up bones. child services is coming. fiona is screaming about gay dads. lip is ghetto married. debbie is going to drown a bitch in the pool. carl needs to know where the gay weiners go. first kisses. gunshot right in the ass. ian can explain this!

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? ooooh it's about community and acceptance and creativity and support! cheering each other on and being absolutely unhinged without judgement. it's everything? especially now. it's weird to think about? but this space literally gave me my best friends and i don't really understand how that happened, but it did and i am just so grateful. i feel accepted and loved and it's beautiful.

i'm feeling really tag shy but imagine me zooming by you and dropping a bouquet on your lap pls 💐

[imabillyami]

“Billy, where the fuck have you been lately?”

I’ve been mostly trying to get my personal life back on track. I’ll be celebrating 2 years drug/alcohol free on April 1st and to honor that, I wanted to get things a bit more in order again.

The results are mixed, but I’m working on it.

I’ve really been enjoying my time away from Wrestling and Tumblr lately, only really talking to my friends and people I’m developing great friendships with on discord and irl lately.

The break from Wrestling (outside of the occasional nxt episode and PLEs) is much needed for me, cause I do not enjoy main roster WWE writing at all lately.

I don’t wanna ruin it for the people enjoying it though and I especially don’t wanna have discussions with strangers on the internet about it. If I wanna bitch about something, I’ll do so in private, except for when I have *moments* and end up bitching online anyway. But those are very rare and far inbetween.

Everyone can do with their internet presence what they want, it’s not my place to judge or tell anyone what to do. I personally just don’t wanna expose myself to the level of negativity the fandom sometimes exudes.

And I’m not dealing with stupid unnecessary hate messages either or childish indirecting either. Been there, dealt with that, and I’m personally way past the point where I’m willing to give it any time of my day.

I wanna be a positive online presence, with strong opinions still, yes. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be kind about them and respect other opinions.

Anyway, I’m rambling.

Spring is finally coming, the sun finally made a big return, so I’m trying to soak up as much Vitamin D as I possibly can while chatting with the people who are very dear to me.

If you want to add me on discord, just message me here first, I’ll be super happy to talk to you over there and maybe even strike up a friendship if we click with each other.

As for my fic writing: It’s slow. I’m still writing for the Samijey fandom and I still love doing it, but staying on top of my life and chatting to/ taking care of friends has been the priority for me these past few weeks. Writing is still going though, just gotta be patient about it.

I’m not putting pressure on myself to publish anymore, cause that sucks the joy right out of it. I love sharing my writing with all of you and I love your feedback, but it’s not meant to be the reason I write. At least not the main one. I’m writing for my own enjoyment and as a creative release first and foremost and that’s how it’s supposed to be, at least in my case.

So yeah. Sunshine, hard work staying on top of things, friendship and support have been my main focus lately and I’m actually quite happy with that.

I’ll be back more frequently and be more active in the fandom again once I see something I enjoy being shown on tv, until then, feel free to reach out about the discord thing and please never stop tagging me in posts on this silly website, I love coming back and catching up with what y’all have been up to!

For now, hugs and kisses to y’all.

(I’ll be lurking around lmao)

p.s.: I was made aware that there apparently was a whole ass hate campaign against me happening in private messages. If you listened to that and chose to believe it, you missed out on talking to me and that’s honestly your loss. I was not aware of having beef or animosity with anyone around here is all I can say to that 🤷 Spread love like legs ✌️