#yes I do play among us it's fun okay?!

[rainbowangel110]

Among Us for the love of God....

LET ME PLAY ONE DAMN GAME WITHOUT GETTING KICKED OUT CUZ MY PING WAS LOW DAMNIT-

[mimikittysblog]

♡18:53♡

Pairing: Poly! Ateez x Fem! Reader

Genre: Fluff, suggestive towards the end

Warnings: MxM, pet names, uh reader teases them at the end so ⚠️MNDI⚠️, this one I did not proofread. That’s it I think :/

A/N: Surpriiiseee! I really made this on a whim. The inspiration came out of nowhere and I just had to write it. This is much shorter than the previous one but I do hope you guys like this too hehe! Also this is VERY MUCH a self insert lol 😭 and lastly I know jackshit about league so if I get anything wrong sorry 🙏

Tagging: @faeprincess777 @starygw3n @bee-gremlin @pinkpearlstar @sweetinsaniiity (if you wanna be tagged in my next poly ateez story, texts or not then please let me know!)

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Being the only girl in this big relationship had its downsides and its perks. One of the downsides is that sometimes there are just things that the boys like that unfortunately you’re just not interested in.

One of them being gaming.

Quite cliche but it’s true.

Now it’s not like you never play any video games with the boys. You’ve guys play some Among Us, Gmod, Dead by Daylight and countless Nintendo games like Smash Bros, Mario Party and Mario Kart just to name some.

Though you don’t play Mario Party that often as you and Wooyoung always end up strangling each other by the end of it, and not the good kind.

Besides that, the list of games you and your amazing boyfriends play doesn’t even end there.

However there will be some games you just don’t care for.

One of them being League of Legends.

Just couldn’t get into it, so you just let that be their thing.

Tonight after a long week of work. The boys thought it’d be fun to treat themselves by renting a room at a nice nearby PC Bang.

Now most times you’d sit this one out and just have some alone time at home. However to their surprise you decided to join.

“I just wanna be around you guys! Your presence is enough. Plus watching you guys play is still fun, even if I don’t join!” You reasoned.

“Hmmm alright.. though if you want our attention or wanna do something else just say so!” Seonghwa said.

“Or just sit in one of our laps princess.” Mingi said teasingly.

Now usually when they are having nights like this, after a while you would eventually take up on Mingi’s offer and sit in one of their laps.

However you decided to entertain yourself another way.

After seeing some girlfriends on TikTok do this with their boyfriends while they’re gaming or watching a sports game. You decided to follow in their footsteps.

So here you are sitting in one of the comfy gaming chairs near Yeosang and Mingi, ipad on your lap with the notes app opened with a grid filled with prompts and the words “BINGO” at the top.

Yes! You decided to play Boyfriend Bingo tonight!

Throughout the night you’ve been crossing off things whenever the boys did something you predicted.

Oh! Yunho’s team won! Thats a check.

“…Guys seriously do you even know how to play?! Come on get it together! San cover me! Oh what seriously??? Guys I’m dying here!…”

Wooyoung yapping for a straight minute. Check.

“…….Yes!”

Yeosang staying silent until the end of the round. Another check.

Huh I’m good at this.

“Sweetheart you sure you’re not bored??”

“I’m sure Hwa.” You say with a suspiciously big smile.

“..okay..”

Seonghwa checking up on me. And a check!

Though somethings you had to wait a bit longer for. But you were sure you’d get them eventually. Hopefully you’d get at least 3 bingos by the end of the night.

However looking at your grid and how you have 2 bingos already, you’re positive you can cross out this entire grid.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

After a good hour you finally got Jongho becoming whiney.

Adorable. And also a check!

“Ah! …Woah!! ..Boom!!!! …Ugh!”

San only making noises for the first 5 minutes. Cheeeeck!

Oh and San suddenly grabbing someone else’s thigh? Jealous. But check!

Hmm I need to fill out this box. You thought to yourself.

“Joooongiieee? When is the food coming?” You suddenly asked.

“Huh?? Oh uh.. any minute now baby!” He replied.

“Oh darling you’re hungry?” Yeosang asked.

“Mhm! Its okay I can wait a bit- oh here it is!” You said about to get up and get the food from the worker.

“No no I got it!!” Hongjoong said as he quickly left his desk.

“WAIT NO HYUNG WE NEED YOU!” Jongho yelled.

“Just a sec!”

Subtly you checked the Hongjoong getting up in the middle of the round box. Before taking your food from him.

“Thank you my love!” You said as you kissed his cheek.

“Of course princess. You sure you’re not bored?” He asked.

“Noooope!”

“Okay the-“

“HYUNG HURRY UP WE’RE LOSING!!”

“The more you yell Jung Wooyoung the more I rather sit here with princess!” He said before going back to his seat.

Ah damn I should’ve put in ‘Wooyoung yelling when he’s losing.’ Oh wait I did! Checkity check check.

You happily continue playing as you eat your yummy food.

Also since you’re a good girlfriend, you go around giving the boys a taste of your food. Just cause you know they’re curious.

Still accepting my food while playing. Check!

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Finally they decided to play one more round and you only need one more box!!

You’re confident you’re gonna get it though. Cause you know them that well.

And soon enough half of the room at the end of the match screams out in victory while the other half whines and groans in loss.

Aaaaannndd…

“Aaaww Mingles is all pouty cause he lost!” Yunho said in fake sympathy.

“Hmph.”

“Come here Mingi is okay! You’ll win next time! MMMMUAAHH!”

“BINGO!!”

Suddenly they all whip their heads to look at you.

“Bingo?” Jongho asked with a tilt of his head.

“You’ve just been playing Bingo this whole time???” San asked as well.

“Yup! Boyfriend bingo!” You said with a big smile and flipped your ipad around.

“Boyfriend bingo?” Seonghwa asked.

Yeosang then took the ipad.

“HAHA Wooyoung yapping for a straight minute!”

“WHAT?! I DID NOT?”

“I timed it.”

Wooyoung then snatched the ipad.

“Hongjoong constantly going ‘Huh?’! HAHA BABE OMG” Wooyoung then the other started laughing the more they read out your grid.

“DID I REALLY??”

“Yes love you did.” Seonghwa said with a laugh.

“Oh my, you know us scarily well love.” Yunho said.

“I’m your girlfriend!!! I’m supposed to!”

“You really are the cutest thing we could’ve ever asked for!” Yeosang said as he walked over and gave you a kiss.

“What was the last thing you crossed off baby?” Mingi asked.

“Oh! It was you getting a kiss after you lost!”

“YOU KNEW I’D LOSE??? Hmph!! Wooyoung you shouldn’t have kissed me! She would’ve lost!” He whined with a bigger pout.

“…well.. i mean.. statistically speaking you couldn’t ALWAYS win…”

Mingi then turned around in another huff.

“Princessaaaaa!!! I’m sorryyy!! Heheheh” you said as you got up, ran to him and hugged him from behind.

“Will a kiss make it better?” You asked.

“..maybe.”

“He just wants kisses!” Jongho yelled.

“EVERYONE GIVE MINGLES KISSESSS!” Wooyoung then yelled.

With that everyone quickly gathered around Mingi to give him a fat smooch. As he pretended to groan in protest.

And with that you guys all cleaned up and headed home.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

“We should all play girlfriend Bingo next time!” San said as you guys made it back home.

“Ohohooo you think you can beat me? Think you know me so well Sannie??” You said teasingly.

“Oh princess we do know you so well.” Yunho chirped in.

“We’re your boyfriends! We’re supposed to!” Yeosang said mirroring your words.

“Hmmmm! Okay then! Go and each of you make your own grid! Whoever this week can get a full grid like me will get a prize!” you announced as you skipped to the bathroom to freshen up.

“A prize you say?” Hongjoong asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Hmmm whoever wins gets to see me in my newest lingerie first~”

With that you took off your shirt and bra and threw it at them as you lock the bathroom door.

Groans, whines and banging at the bathroom door can be heard as you simply turned up your music.

Let’s see who knows me best!

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

© mimikittysblog 2024

[flamingpudding]

Ouija Board Prompt Idea

A/N: A late night Idea that came to me instead of sleep and I wrote this down during lunch break

Danny was just in Gotham because the city spirit had asked him for assistance with a rather persistent unruly Ghost that didn't understand that this was her haunt and she did not want them there.

So when he got the notice he did his kingly duties and made sure the Ghost was no longer annoying Lady Gotham. He was the Ghost King but even he didn't want to anger a spirit as old as her. He had watched the spirit take a ghostly club and hit Clockwork the Ancient of Time with it without remorse the first time they were introduced. So yea, no messing with this one.

He had been about to portal back home when he felt a strange pull one that was close to when he got summoned but yet it didn't feel as demanding but more like a little kid pulling on his shirt hesitantly. So he checked it out…

… and came across a group of vigilantes investigating an occult side.

Invisible he watched them, curious. He used to do the teen hero stick too before the whole Ghost King business allowing him to get some semblance of a normal life with his rogues, might as well see how others to that hero stick. Besides the pull he felt appeared to come from that tall one wearing a red helmet something was up with that guy.

"Come on, ask the ghosts a question or are you too chicken to do it?"

"I will not participate in this nonsense, Red Hood."

"Come on guys it will be fun!"

"For whom? You, Spoiler?"

"RR aren't you curious?"

"We just gotta ask the board a question and if a ghost is around they will answer by moving it, right?"

"Ghosts don't exist."

Okay Danny was not taking personal offense here but he was a half ghost and he ruled the Ghost Zone filled with ecto-entities that could count as ghosts. So yes, ghosts existed. It was a simple decision then as he floated down invisible crouching next to board still invisible and out of the way from them.

Making sure he made a lot of scraping noises as he moved the small wooden piece on the board to 'YES'.

Someone yelped and someone else shrieked, though Danny wasn't sure if that was a shriek of excitement or not. He still grinned at their reactions.

"Did that just move to 'YES'! It did, didn't it!"

Yea okay that earlier was a shriek of excitement considering how that girl in purple was jumping around. Though the poor kid among them looked a little paler now, Danny decided to keep an eye on the kid to make sure he wasn't overdoing it.

"Okay so a ghost is here?"

Maybe he should have bothered listening to Lady Gotham or Tucker more about the vigilantes of Gotham. Oh well no time better as this to learn. What did the girl call this boy again, RR? Danny wondered what that stood for.

He moved the piece around the board a little making sure they noticed before he spelled something out.

"N-O-S-H-I-T-S-H-E-R-L-O-C-K. No shit Sherlock. Ha! I like this ghost!" The tall one laughed, he believed the kid called him Red Hood earlier. Well the red helmet was a great testament to that sort of code name. Still he wondered about that weird feeling he got from the guy but pushed that aside for later.

"Well since there is a ghosts, what should we ask?"

"Maybe how old he is?"

"Think it rude to ask how he died?"

Danny rolled his eyes. Those were such mainstream questions.

"B-O-R-I-N-G, 1-6 , YES. Guys it looks like we are not were imaginativ."

"Well what do you suggest we ask then?"

"I don't know! Maybe he can show us a cool trick?"

"You know that reminds me of this game that's been out for a while, phasmophobia or something like that?"

Oh Danny knew this one! Tucker had told him about the game, he himself hadn't played it but he had watched his best friend do so, they had a lot of fun joking about how the ghosts were portrayed and the tools that were available to the players.

"So what? We ask the ghost to play Hide and Seek with us?"

"Let's cease this nonsense. This is not something we should mess with."

"Oh are you scared?"

He made a show of moving the wooden piece, doing his best not to snicker out loud as he moved the piece to count down from the number 9. Letting his own powers out a little to cause the already dim light to flicker and the room to cool down several degrees.

The reaction was instant once again. Though he didn't expect them to run for hiding spaces he definitely did not expect these people to pull out their weapons and position against each other's back like they were ready for a fight. Then again they were vigilantes

The poor kid among them looked even paler. Before his count down could reach 0 he decided to not scare the poor kid more. Pulling back his powers the room's temperature normalized and the lights stopped flickering. He moved the wooden piece knowing that at least one of them was watching it in anticipation.

"J-K-S-O-R-R-Y"

"I think the ghost just apologized to us?" The RR teenager said carefully and Danny couldn't help the sheepish smile even if they couldn't see it in his invisible state.

"You know about the game?"

He moved the piece to YES.

"So you thought it was fucking appropriated to scare us like that?"

He moved the piece around and placed it back to YES before spelling out sorry again. The vigilantes shared a look and Danny decided to spell out a question.

"L-I-T-T-L-E-G-U-Y-O-K-A-Y"

"Huh? Uh yea Robin is fine." They looked confused but Danny kept his eyes on the kid. Well the poor boy still looked very pale but he also appeared to try to put on a brave front, it nearly caused a chuckle to escape the halfa.

"Can you show yourself?"

"S-U-R-E"

Not like he was really going to show himself but this was going to be fun, he thanked the Ancients that he was taking lessons with Pandora on how to manipulate his own ectoplasm. He summoned a blob of it making sure he himself was still invisible as he let the green blob be visible, forming it and making it look like a blob ghost.

The reaction was once again instant. They yelled in the chaos all he caught sounded like 'Lazarus water! Moving Lazarus Water!' Before the pale kid, Robin they said, slashed at his ectoplasm blob with his katana, essentially doing nothing to the blob of ectoplasm. The sword just went through it and Danny still holding it confused just instinctively let it reform the shape he gave it.

Danny blinked, okay now he was definitely not showing himself. "This is no a ghost but a Pit Demon!"

From the corner of the eye he saw Lady Gotham appear in the room staring at him disapprovingly and holding that ghost club she had used on Clockwork.

"I can explain, really! I was just joking with them!" He stood holding his hands up to smooth the situation, the green blob fell to the ground splashing against the Ouija Board with a loud splat. His chances of not get hit like Clockwork by Lady Gotham were becoming slimmer.

"WHO SAID THAT?!"

Shit, he hadn't used ghost speech but said that out loud.

[spookwriter-xo]

Coppélia

Chapter 3 - The Figure Painter

Chapter Summary - Y/N visits a childhood friend to go over Seonghwa's odd invitation.

Series Masterlist

"And then he gave you a contract... Like from Fifty Shades of Gray?"

"I told you it's not a contract, he said it was an invitation."

"Honey, it literally gives you a place to sign at the bottom."

After Seonghwa had given me the envelope and left, I wasted no time in rushing over to my friend, Mia's, house to tell her everything. Mia and I had known each other since we were seven years old, hanging off of each other like leeches since. Her family was rich too, but unlike mine, they supported her artistic endeavors.

She was a painter, specializing in figure paintings and realism, and was also my voice of reason.

"I seriously don't know what to do," I whine, my head resting on her kitchen countertop.

"Well, what does it say? Like what does he want you to do?" She asks, her fingers twirling a teaspoon around her tea cup.

I glance down at the papers in front of me. So many rules were listed I struggled to even wrap my head around it.

"He wants me to move into their home," I say.

"Their home?" Mia clarifies. "As in other people?"

"I guess so?" I clear my throat as I continue. "I can remain as a dancer for the society as long as I don't practice for any longer than I need to be."

"Well, at least they're offering you some freedom." She mumbles sarcastically, taking a sip of her tea.

"Mia come on!" I cry out rather dramatically.

"I feel like there isn't much up for discussion here? Yes, it's weird and borderline controlling but when was the last time something exciting like this happened in your life?" She argues.

"I don't want to be controlled, Mia. This whole thing, it's just way above my pay grade. I had enough of it living with my parents, I don't need it in a romantic relationship too!" I point out. She lets out a sigh, nodding in understanding.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Mia runs a hand through her hair. "Okay, let's try a different approach. What things in there benefit you?"

"Uhm, I get to live in a big ass mansion free of charge," I say, my finger hovering over the bullet point. It sure would be better than the cheap studio apartment I live in now.

"You can never go wrong with a big ass mansion." She quips before I continue.

"It says... I have to be willing to, share myself?" I tilt my head with furrowed eyebrows.

"Oh, don't tell me they're the type to want a girl to homey hop." She seethes, leaning over the counter to read the paper. "Oh god, they are!" She exclaims.

"Just because you're monogamous doesn't mean you can judge!" I scold.

"I'm not judging, I'm cringing 'cause it's not for me." She says defensively. "If you're into that, I won't judge."

"Sure you won't."

"I might make fun of you a little, but you know I'll get over it!" She laughs. "Besides it's a bonus if they're all cute. I looked up Seonghwa and that Hongjoong guy and woo!" She whistles.

"Poor Mark." I tease, she gasps. "Listen, I don't know if I'm up for that either. I mean I don't even know who the others are, for all I know there could be a serial killer among them."

"Then call him." She states. "Call him and demand him to rewrite it on your terms."

"Would that work?" I ask, placing the papers back into a neat pile.

"He's a businessman, right? Of course, it would! Hell, you might even get to meet the others if you play your cards right." She says confidently. "You like this guy right?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Then fight for your own morals and boundaries, and if he doesn't accept that then move on." She says, moving over slightly to place her mug in the sink. "And if they try something, Mark and I will come over and beat them up for you."

"You and I both know Mark Lee is not going to beat anyone up." I laugh causing her to let out a snort.

"You're right, he could yap their ears off and give us time to escape the country though." She jokes, a wide grin spreading across her face.

I glance back down at the documents, genuinely contemplating for a moment. I hated the idea of being controlled by anyone again, let alone a bunch of men who, aside from 1, I have never had a conversation with in my life. But on top of that, it would be really nice to stay somewhere that didn't charge me almost my entire weekly pay for rent.

Plus Seonghwa was really good-looking, but was I really going to risk my freedom just because a cute guy gave me a second of his time? Mia was right, I needed to call him and set up some kind of meeting and get this document altered to my liking also, not just theirs.

"You're doing that thing again." Mia's voice cuts me out of my thoughts. "You know it's creepy when you stare off into space like that."

"Sorry, was just thinking about everything," I say softly, stuffing the document back into the envelope it came in.

"It's a lot, I know, but once you put your foot down like I know you can it'll all even out. You'll see." Mia was often right about these things, then again she was always the one to come up with the ideas that would get us into trouble growing up. I trusted her with things like this because I knew it would never leave the two of us, but trusting her to convince me to do something that could lead to me signing my life away? I was going to be a little more cautious of that.

"I should probably go, I got another show tonight," I say, hopping off of the seat I was perched on.

"Oh! I'm coming to the show next Monday! Don't mess up for me okay?" She says, skipping around the counter to give me a quick hug before I leave.

"Of course I won't, you're my lucky charm." I joke, pulling away and waving. She waves back, knowing I could find my way out.

I contemplated calling Seonghwa as I walked through the city streets. I let out an annoyed huff at the constant tug-of-war going on in my head. My finger hovered over the call button as I stared down at his contact. He'd probably show up tonight, but did I really want to decline his initial offer in person?

Without thinking I pressed call, holding my phone up to my ear as I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. I felt a sick feeling of nerves in my stomach, the same feeling I felt before I went out on stage.

It rings 4 times before he picks up.

"I thought you'd think about it a while longer." He states, his voice rough. I take a deep breath before I speak.

"I'm declining your 'invitation'," I stated, making sure my voice sounded defiant.

"What?" He asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

"You heard me. This... Contract is far too controlling for my liking and I refuse to subject myself to signing my life away for a man who only graced me with his presence last night." I say, earning some looks from passersby.

"Doll-"

"I'm not done! Look, I like you. But the only way this is happening is if we rewrite this to include my own terms. And I want whoever the hell you expect me to share myself with to be there also. No way in hell am I agreeing to something like that without even knowing what they look like." I say, rather rushed. Silence follows, and I look at my phone screen for a moment to make sure the phone call didn't end. As I placed the phone back to my ear I heard laughter.

"My, I really underestimated you didn't I?" Seonghwa chuckles. "A real firecracker you are, so unassuming up until now." I could feel his grin through the screen, and it made my blood boil.

"If you're going to waste my time-"

"Hold on a second, Doll." He says, his voice still laced with amusement. "I'll organize a dinner, how does that sound? You, me, and the others who helped write the original contract. That way you can meet everyone and get your boundaries heard."

I blinked in surprise at his offer. Was it really that easy? "You're serious?"

"Of course I am! Honestly, it's refreshing to talk to someone as pretty as you about business exchanges." He chuckles. "You have a show tonight, yes? Are you free Saturday night?"

I clear my throat. "Uhm, yeah?"

"Excellent, I'll send you the details tonight with your Gardenias." He says, hanging up before I can get another word in.

I gape at the phone, staring at it as I stand frozen in the middle of the street. I look around for a moment before continuing on my way.

I had a sinking feeling that this dinner was not going to be as easy as he made it seem. The others were most definitely businessmen also, co-owners of ATZ Corp. Me, a broke ballerina versus 8 businessmen on their own turf.

Pray for me.

[arc-misadventures]

MFK Jaune but instead of Kill its Enslave: High Elf Winter, Dark Elf Cinder & Wood Elf Pyrrha

Jaune: MFE

Nora: Hey, Jaune?

Jaune: Yes?

Nora: Wanna play a game?

Jaune: No... The last time I played one of your dwarf games I broke three ribs.

Nora: Nononono! We won't be playing such games! The others said they would punish me again of I did...

Jaune: Oh, that's good. Okay, what is this game?

Nora: MFE! It's like, MFK, but instead of killing someone you enslave them!

Jaune: Enslave?! Nora, I am a holy paladin of the, Rusted Knight Order1 You know how I feel about slavery! We have gone out of our way many times to kill slavers! Do you think I would allow such a thing, let along play a game with such a thing?!

Nora: Relax, relax, relax! You're not actually going to do such a thing! You're just saying of the three woman I give you, which one would you do it to.

Jaune: The hell is the difference?!

Nora: Okay, just think about it as kinky roleplay, no slave markings, and things like that, okay?

Jaune: Grrrrr! Fine! We'll play your stupid little game, if only to get you to shut up.

Nora: Awesome! Okay, your choices are! Our wood elf friend, Pyrrha Nikos!

Pyrrha: M-M-Me?!

Nora: Our lofty queen, the high elf, Winter Schnee!

Winter: I am considered a form of royalty among the elves, Nora.

Nora: And, our mysterious dark elf of the party, Cinder Fall.

Cinder: MFE? Hmmm... This should be fun~!

Jaune: Elf's? You want me to play a game where I have to 'enslave' one of the players, and they happen to be an elf?!

Nora: Ya!

Jaune: Nora?! Do you have any idea how many slave rings I've broken up that didn't have at least one elf slave in it! I immediately assume that an elf is a slave of some sort if she has any brandings, and chains on her!

Cinder: Ohhh! So that's why he was so worried about me when we first met. I thought it was because I was a dark elf.

Winter: It is nice to see that he cares so much about us. In his own strange way,

Pyrrha: I think it's nice that he cares about us so much even if it's a little strange.

Nora: Yeah, so?

Jaune: WE are going to have some serious words after this, Nora...

Nora: Okay...

Jaune: I'm gonna do the 'enslave' part first to get it out of the way. So I will 'enslave...'

Jaune: Cinder...

Cinder: Oh? Can I ask why?

Jaune: Do I have to...?

Cinder: Please?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Haa... Considering you're a dark elf, and you have a habit of tying people up in various ways, and quite quickly at that! I thought you would be the least upset at being... enslaved.

Cinder: Upset about being enslaved? Well, if I was enslaved by someone like that Cardin, or Mercury fellow's we arrested the other day. I would have been quite... furious. But, if it was you, Jaune~? If it was you who enslaved me... Well, I think I would quite enjoy it, Master~!

Jaune: Y-You would?!

Cinder: You, binding my hands, wrapping a collar around my neck, dragging me through the streets for all to see that you own me. And, to see that all I was wearing was some rags that barely covered my body. You taking your searing hot rode, and reshaping my body to perfectly fit around you? Oh, I would quite enjoy that, Master~!

Pyrrha: I would like that too!

Jaune: You would?!

Pyrrha: I would worship the ground you walk on, Master! I would be your foot stool to rest your feet upon! I would allow you to take your frustrations of dealing with, Nora's antics upon my body as a badge of honour! I will beg to receive your disciplinary touch, and allow me to use my body as your personal toy to relive your bodies stress! I am yours to us as you please, Master!

Jaune: W-W-What?! Winter! Help me!

Winter: Help you? You think I would dare help you enslave my country men! You think I would help you hold them down, to strip their bodies bare, to hold them in place as you forcefully penetrate their cores, and desecrate their chastity! To help you prepare their bodies as your brand them with your mark. Only for you to take me, bed me, fill me with your declivous, heavenly seed, to raise you child~!

Winter: Ahhh~!

Winter: No! I wouldn't like that at all!

Jaune: What the fuck?!

Nora: Ladies, ladies! Come down, you're scaring our darling paladin.

Pyrrha: I'm sorry!

Cinder: I'm sorry, I just wanted you to understand I was okay with you enslaving me.

Winter: My apologies, I let my... bodily desires get the better of me.

Jaune: What the hell?

Nora: You see here, Jaune. These find elven ladies each are in love with you, and all have a slave kink that the will only have with you, Jaune as their master~!

Jaune: She's kidding, right guys?

Cinder: Oh, I am completely head over heals for you, Jaune. And, the thought of being your slave sounds... oh so intoxicating~!

Pyrrha: I've loved you since I first met you, Jaune! It doesn't matter where, or what we do, so long as we do it together.

Winter: Your reaction to dealing with my father's behaviors. Made me understand what actual affection, and love was like. And, I want to continue experiencing that love with you.

Jaune: You, you guys really feel that way..?

Pyrrha: Yes!

Winter: Of course!

Cinder: Always~!

Jaune: Guys...

Nora: So that's how you're going to do things fearless leader?

Jaune: What am I going to do, Nora?

Nora: You're going to marry all three of these beautiful elven woman, and you're going to enact their enslavement fantasies when you fuck them! That's how it's going to happen, right ladies?

Jaune: I should do all of that?!

Pyrrha: Marrying, Jaune~?!

Cinder: Mrs Cinder Fall Arc~? Oh now that sounds lovely~!

Winter: Marrying the man I love, and pissing off my father in the process; What better gift could I ask for? What do you say, Jaune~?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Well... I wouldn't really mind it... if it was you three.

Pyrrha: YES!

Winter: That's wonderful!

Cinder: Then let's consummate the marriage at once then!

WP: Yes!

Jaune: What?

Cinder: Let's go ladies!

Jaune: Whoa hey?! Nora?! Nora help me!

Nora: Wait!

Jaune: Ahh! I'm saved!

Nora: My payment?

Jaune: Payment?

Winter: Here you go, as we agreed upon: One bottle of sacred elven tree syrup for your help.

Nora: I thank you for you business. Have a nice day.

Winter: Oh, we will~!

Jaune: What?! You sold me out for a bottle of syrup?! You traitor!

Jaune:

Traitor!!!

[stubz]

Kim and Max and the adventures of running an alien child care centre

"Human Max I'd like you to meet Ezshi, they will be joining you soon in the youngling centre."

"Oh hey there buddy, nice to meet you!"

"Now, what do we say Ezshi?"

*croc sounding hissing and snarling*

"Ezshi! You apologize right this instant!!"

"...oh boy"

days later~

"I don't know what to do! The kid won't stop hissing at me everytime they see me! As soon as they spot me they flare up and won't stop hissing at me, they almost bit me when I tried giving them their chocolate milk!! I don't know how I'll survive this year Kim."

"That's rough buddy," she gives sympathy pats to him. "but why don't you try my method? Y'know, the one I used with my siblings and cousins."

"Kim if I did that I would get fired."

"Yes, in an earth school you would without question buuut...here?"

"...here I wouldn't! Kim you genius!"

later....

"Ah, human Kim, I am here to pick up Ezshi early today. May you point me to them?"

"Yeah sure, right over there with Max." she points to a large crowd of children and parents.

"Thank you Human Kim."

"Of course....maybe I should've stalled them for a bit...shoot."

"Ezshi! Where are you? Ah, there you-- oh my."

In the middle of the crowd is Ezshi and Max both hissing and snarling at each other. The young reptilian slowly advancing towards the human, eyes slitted.

"EZSHI! Youngling you will stop this at--!"

"Wait Mx. Ezshi's Bubba! Maxie is okay, look look!"

"Youngling Human please release your tiny hands off me, I must save your 'Maxee'...huh."

Max advances as well but more predatory like, circling around the youngling until their back hits a table. Jumping onto it thinking it'll make them look more intimidating, Ezshi hisses down at the lowly human. No one interferes, especially the other reptilian and predator like species.

"Okay now here it comes Max, remember not too much spit and be aggressive!"

Back straight, toes pointed, chin up, the young man closes the gap between them with a headbutt while releasing a roar. Silence. Until finally, with eyes dilated, Ezshi chirps and bows their little head.

"Aw, its okay buddy. Now go get your stuff, your Bubba is here."

"Thank you caretaker Maxee! Lets do that again!"

"Human Max how did you know how to assert dominance among my people? Was it Tarlak's family? Tigihalaxes and Repilixes do share similar customs..." they muse.

"Oh it was Kim."

"Yep!"

"And how, may I ask, do you know how to assert dominance among my people Human Kim?"

"My siblings and cousins."

"....you were taught by your human kin?"

"Some of them started to roar and hiss while we goofed around and to make sure they still listened to me while we did this I would 'assert dominance' by doing exactly what Max did."

"I thought humans did not have displays of dominance and that everyone is to be treated equally, like a herd."

"Yes thats right."

"But you just said..."

"Oh that was just us playing around. We still do it every now and then, just over the holidays my little sister and me did the equivalent of the gorlazitics display of dominance."

"For fun??? And not to be the new leader? No one was killed?"

"Save for our mother's opinion of us, no."

"Are you sure you two are herbivores?"

"The proper term is vegetarian, which is what I am, Kim is a pescatarian."

"May the fish forgive me for finding them so delicious in sushi form."

[brokenpieces-72]

could we get something with reader sparring with the boys in the monster au? I was wondering if theyd get distracted and shift and just end up playing with Reader

This is adorable and yes it does happen on occasion.

Price took on your sparring after you’d gotten some experience, but uh… yeah he drops yeah like a sack majority of the time. You keep wanting to try again and again, and he indulges you. You even try shifting but he’s got a bit more strength. Isn’t gonna stop him from scooping you up on occasion and roaring, making you giggle. Even if you’ve gotten fed up with him not going easy on you, he’ll heft you over his shoulder to force you into trying to get free. You sometimes shift when he does this to make a point, to which he drops you. Price is a dad sometimes even if he doesn’t notice.

Not to much sparring but this did happen by accident and set you up for wanting a spar. You tried climbing to roof where you and Kyle like to sit. You noticed his wings were wrapped around him and once you were on that last little bit to get on, he opened them and went “boo!” which made you fall. You were okay, but you scared him back by shifting and jumping at him while he was still snickering. He chased after you after that, using his talons to mess with you.One game you’ve taken to doing with him is a bit like kick the can, where the two of you will find a clearing, where Gaz stands in the centre. You shift and hide among the surrounded terrain moving closer and closer to him while he has hard feathers ready. They don’t hurt too bad in your Wendigo state, and it’s given Gaz a chance to practice aim and targeting.

You tried fighting the cadejos but it doesn’t really work. You shifted and tossed them around, but they just kept coming back…and started to think it was a game. Rodolfo tried to get them back in order but it was really working. You tried shifting back to human but they just started to pounce and lick your face. Rodolfo rolled his eyes. And yeah this happened more than once. If you two ever spar one on one it’s a little uneasy, cause you’re still young. Rodolfo is also human so you don’t want to break him. He focuses on just showing you some maneuvers, which you still have fun with. Yes he does try to tickle you. Yes you try to get him back.

Alejandro is a bit different when it comes to the nagual. The nagual is a bit more proud, so it doesn’t hold back. One day though you’re in the same room and you notice Alejandro’s tail, and it’s swaying. You have intrusive thoughts, and grab at it, to which you get a suddenly look from the colonel. You apologize, but he doesn’t mind. Your tracking sessions aren’t unlike hide and seek, but it’s from both sides. You’re tracking each other. The nagual doesn’t hold back, so as soon as you make your presence known in your shifted state it lashes back. The two of you aren’t afraid to tumble with each other, pulling headlocks from time to time. If you shift to human, at any point it means you’ve tapped out, and vice versa. You tapped out at one point with colonel doing so but you still had the headlock. He gives you a noogie while you bark at him to knock it off. You turn around and give it back to him… but you’re both shifted. As soon as you do he shifted back first, impressed with how far you’d come.

Horangi unfortunately is your practice dummy half the time. Maneuvers are demonstrated with him because you can match his abilities while both human. While you two are waiting for someone to come and instruct you though, you both are sat on the mat cross legged, waiting, when like Alejandro’s you notice his tail swaying back and forth. You start following it, and try to catch it, not succeeding. Horangi knows what you’re doing, but he doesn’t mind. Then you catch it, and he whips around, in HaeTae mode. You shift to match him and crawl back a little. You’re bigger than him but you get closer, before gently scratching him. Then you hear chuffing! It takes a minute before Horangi realizes what’s happened, and you both go back to human. Taking advantage of your human state he play wrestles with you making you laugh and giggle teasing him about the chuffing.

König and the Percht are a common spar partner, as König is able to go all out even more. Sometimes though König just enjoys the time with you as does the Percht. You shift one day and go with him for some training. The Percht and Wendigo wrestle, but it ends up a little different. It’s become more like two bucks locking antlers. You both have horns, so it’s pretty playful. It reminds the Percht that there is more than just violence in this world.

Johnny’s fighting sessions are always fun but he ensures you know what you’re doing. Fully shifted you have plenty of fun, and when he’s on full moon it’s even better. The wolf is fully out and you get to have tons of fun, throwing him around and get tossed yourself. It becomes a bit of a play wrestle. When it isn’t a full moon, he’s still doing the same but he’s looking for some weak points too. You found his long ago, he likes belly rubs. The Wendigo does it too, but soon Johnny finds out your ears are a weak point. The Wendigo gets sleepy, almost like it’s being pinched at the nape.

Simon doesn’t really play, and when it comes to you he’s trying to avoid you. You don’t annoy him, he’s just not used to kids. Still isn’t. Your sparring is tactical, and stealth. It’s one side hide and seek. You’re small and he’s a wraith. One session he didn’t let you off the hook, and was very serious. One mistake and he dropped you hard. Over and over. It ticked you off. Eventually you lost it, as he poked out of the shadows. You were done, and you shifted turning on him. There was no holding back and then there was being unfair. You were frustrated and done! You glared at him while he stood there staring back at you. Then you heard him chuckle, and he put a hand on your nose. Simon told you not to be afraid to break the rules, you’re a big beastie. He wanted to remind you that goofing off wasn’t always an option, appreciating how seriously you took his sparring. Afterwards he is more comfortable spending time with you, and you him.

Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends

[steveharrington]

can you elaborate more on steve being abandoned by the narrative?

yes <3 so i think there are two very unfortunate circumstances surrounding steve's character that have led to the current state of his plotline: 1. after not killing him in s1 like they originally planned, the duffers have never really had a plan for steve and 2. they are extremely influenced by audiences. when they were conceptualizing steve to fit in among the ensemble cast, the duffers were picturing him as a douchey boyfriend who unceremoniously dies. lonnie was originally going to come back to the byers house to save jonathan and nancy. there was no need to picture where he'd be 4 seasons down the road, so they just didn't account for that. then joe keery charmed them so hard that they literally couldn't bear to kill him, so steve ends season one still somehow alive.

but we've already established the nancy/jonathan plotline, because jonathan was once the duffers' self-insert who must defeat the evil jock and win over the girl. they couldn't just backpedal on that right away, so they needed to give nancy and jonathan a plotline alone, away from steve. but steve only ever functioned as an extension of nancy until this point, so what do we do with steve now? in an accidental stroke of genius that the duffers have admitted was a last second decision, they pair him with the children and make him into a babysitter. it almost instantly boosts steve into being tied with hopper and el for most popular character from the show, potentially even beats them both out. in 2017 when s2 aired, you could not escape mom steve jokes. it was everywhere, steve was everywhere, joe was everywhere, it was arguably the second coming of #justice for barb, which, in netflix business-y terms, was the exact viral meme type situation that the show wanted and needed to sell merch and remain relevant and say "see we still got it!!!"

you know who has the 2nd most lines in the entirety of season three? directly behind hopper? ahead of winona ryder? steve. think for a second about how absolutely insane that is. the character who was written specifically to die in season one. joe keery's name wasn't even in the season one credits, because he wasn't considered a series regular. and now he has the 2nd most spoken lines in the big blockbuster season because he rocketed up in popularity so intensely. season three marketing features the mall so heavily, creates a literal physical shrine to 80s nostalgia, and when the very first promo is released an entire year before the season airs, who's the star of that teaser trailer? and who, pray tell, is featured in the main brand sponsorship ad that plays in movie theaters worldwide? thats right its america's little darling steve harrington.

but here is the issue. the duffers look at what made steve popular and they see: funny exasperated babysitter, heartthrob action hero. they're like oh okay so we should keep putting him directly in the center of the action, bang him up every season to give him his classic bloodied aesthetic, but. he still needs to be funny. we can almost kill him, but we can't actually kill him because he's profitable. we can let him get horrifically injured because it's badass, but we still gotta let him crack jokes. it creates this very weird tone to steve's role in the story starting in season 3 because he's both the action hero and the comedic relief and protected by plot armor, so we get scenes where he's being literally tortured until he's begging for his life and gasping for breath but the tone is still.......fun? comedic? light and goofy? i think the duffers also forgot he's supposed to be a teenager.

now this is partially me making educated guesses but i feel pretty confident about this: once again, like gollum, joe keery uses his big shiny eyes and manages to evade death again in season four by being so likable and charming and marketable that netflix execs or shawn levy or maybe even the duffers themselves were like oh fuck we just can't do it. they were obviously tossing around the idea of taking mom steve all the way by letting him die sacrificially for dustin, so in season four they make eddie, transfer steve's relationship with dustin directly onto him, ctrl f steve's name in the death scene and just type in eddie instead, and once again steve is alive but he's directionless.

so what does he have now, in season four? i think the duffers have a whiteboard somewhere with steve's name and around it are little circles that say "funny" "cool" "DO NOT KILL" and steve is now stuck in this endless cycle of getting beaten up, popping back up somehow unharmed like a looney tune, saying something cute and oblivious, rinse and repeat. because that's what worked, that's what made him popular all the way back in season two. that's what the duffers are obviously keeping in mind when they're writing steve: popularity. not realism, not depth, not growth, just literally how to continue making him popular. meanwhile, other characters get to be part of the actual story. other characters get to serve a purpose other than selling merch. when el is bitten by a monster, she gets to actually feel pain and need help because that's realistically what any human would need. when hopper is tortured, he gets to suffer and ponder his existence and reflect on the relationships in his life. steve never gets any of that, because the writers just don't see steve as the 19 year old boy on his 4th straight year of traumatic events that he actually is.

they literally just see him as a money maker, there for cool viral moments and witty lines and maybe the occasional emotion experienced but only if it's about his romantic prospects. and the narrative that other characters get to have and be apart of just kinda runs parallel to steve. he's there, technically, but he's not really in the story. and it's like actually crazy because you'd think after all the funko pops he sold, he'd have earned an actual storyline!!!

[noroi1000]

Honored One Shot no.9 - @iam-mia9

Mama (SatoSugu x reader)

Little angst with fluff

"Go on a date without me. I'll take care of the baby." You said as you hugged the black-haired baby to your chest.

They both looked at you questioningly. And their eyes later went to the little baby in your arms, and to the baby in your belly.

As a mom, did you really think you couldn't go on a date?

First you had Suguru's baby and now you were pregnant with Satoru's baby.

And being pregnant and taking care of a small baby is hard.

That's why they wanted you to go on a date with them for a little rest.

Yaga would take care of the baby for a few hours and you would go to a restaurant or to the cinema.

Something you can't do while pregnant is drinking alcohol. Among the three of you, there's only one person who occasionally drinks with someone. For example, with Shoko. That's why you won't go to any bar.

Restaurant. Or even fast food. You too deserve rest. But according to you, you must have been home all the time.

And taking care of a child was tiring.

There were three of you for this, but none of you could say it was an easy job.

If they had to say which is easier, fighting curses or taking care of a baby, they will say that it is easier to fight curses.

But babysitting is fun. When they look at that little one in your hands or when they hold that tiny body.

It's cute.

Even if the first child you had was Suguru's child, Satoru loves that child. When he looks at that little head, he sees black hair and purple eyes. Same as his husband. And he also remembers when that little one was in your belly.

Satoru is raising Suguru's baby. It will be the same with Suguru. Because he will also raise Satoru's child.

You agreed to be pregnant a second time because Satoru was jealous. He also wanted a baby.

So now you were walking with the child growing inside of you, also caring for the baby you gave birth to a few months ago.

Satoru suddenly got up and took the black-haired baby from you, cradling it to his chest.

"We want to go on a date together. As a married couple. You're our wife, so you're coming with us too, baby." The White Haired Man said as he stood next to you with the sleeping baby.

"We've been planning this for days. But when we wanted to tell you about it, you were tired." Suguru added as he looked at you sitting at the table.

"Don't wait," you said, stroking the toddler's black hair. "Go on a date. I will stay at home. But don't hesitate. I'm not stopping you."

"We want to go with you."

"Just because I'm pregnant and taking care of a baby doesn't mean you two can't go on a date together. When we decided to have children, we all knew that it would be the end of trips or dates for at least one of us." you said calmly. "I'll stay home and you two go play. You are your husbands. Your relationship also needs to be cared."

Their relationship will be cherished. Because either way, you're already connected to them forever. Knowing that you gave birth to children will be with you for the rest of your life. And you don't regret having them.

"We are together so we wanted to go with you." Satoru suddenly said.

"It's just like sex, right? You're going to insist that I do it with you, right? So I will repeat the same again... You don't need me to do this. You two can go on a date. Yes, you can have sex without me. I am a mother and I take care of the child, you can play. Take advantage of me taking care of you and letting you live the life you had before you were a father. Go on a date, have fun. I'll stay home and take care of the baby."

"You know just because the three of us are together doesn't mean one of us stays home and gets bored, took care of the baby and the other two will play outside." Suguru said as he got up from his chair and came closer, kissing his baby's forehead.

"Suguru, it's okay. I'll just stay home. I'm not gonna make any of you stay so that I'm the one to leave. I am the mother of these children, and I will take care of them. You don't have to give up your life just because of it. For you, I gave up all the distractions I used to do. So you don't have to give up.

It's true, you quit your job because you're a mom and you're pregnant. Besides, they make money. You gave up going out with friends to take care of you and the kids. You gave up entertainment that would make you worse. You couldn't just give your husbands a baby and leave the house to play.

You're not like that.

They are your children and you will take care of them.

Suddenly, a smile appeared on Satoru's lips.

Before you could ask what he meant, he spoke himself, preventing any words from leaving your mouth.

"Baby? When did our little mochi last eat?" he asked as he handed you the baby.

"Right... Babies need to eat before bed, honey, are you hungry?" You murmured as you walked away from them to take care of your baby.

"What are you planning?" Suguru asked as he saw his White Haired husband's smile.

He stepped closer to him and rested his head on his shoulder as he watched you disappear through the door.

"Start cooking. I'll prepare a table like in a restaurant." He said as you closed the door and he quickly walked over to the wardrobe.

It took you more than half an hour to feed the baby and put to sleep.

It's just that your little one didn't want to fall asleep, even though it was nap time.

However, you managed to do it.

Violet eyes closed.

And when you left the room, you felt a nice and tasty smell of cooking food.

You went to the kitchen to see your long-haired husband in an apron cooking something. And your white-haired husband walks around the table, putting three plates on a red tablecloth.

"How do you like it?" he asked as he came over to give you a kiss.

"You were supposed to go out on a date." you said but you kissed him back.

"We don't want to leave you at home alone. We'll have dates at home if you want," he said as he led you to your baby's father.

You clung to his side, pressing your belly into his hip. And Satoru stood behind him, wrapping his arms around your waist and his. And laid his head on his shoulder while he cooked for you.

[kayuripax]

A Bloodborne Guide for Newbies - How to Hunt and not get discouraged

Heyo! I'm Kayuri. I am a relatively okay Hunter, and played Bloodborne a few times now, and got it Platinum'd. I am by no means an expert, but I noticed people have gotten Bloodborne this christmas, and we have a large new load of Hunters. And this is why I decided to make a guide for the new flesh among us, so they may stay for the long haul.

THIS GUIDE CONTAINS SPOILERS, ESPECIALLY IN THE BOSS SECTION! BE AWARE OF THAT!

Things I will cover:

Things you can do with and without online

General tips and tricks

Caryll Runes (specifically the Oath runes)

Weapons

Builds?

What does scaling mean?

How and where to farm

Tips for Bosses

This will be under a cut, because things can get long here.

Things you can do with and without online:

Bloodborne has an online mode. It costs money to play online. An unreasonable amount, frankly, so don't worry if you don't have it! But not having it removes some options for you, so let's see what having Online allows you to do and what not having online does to you.

The realities of having Online:

You can summon other people to help you in boss battles. This leaves you open to Invaders. Invaders want to kill you. This starts happening once you reach Blood Level 30. If you want to have reliable summoning, I suggest checking out r/huntersbell here!

You can leave and read messages by and for other people. If they rate your note "Fine", you get a health top-up and a notif.

You can see the spectres of people, that show you how others died. Very useful to avoid your own death.

You gain access to online chalice glyphs, like the infamous Cum Chalice. Yes, that name is unfortunate, but it is THE place to get useful echoes.

The Realities of not having Online:

You won't get invaded when you summon an NPC to help you, but you cannot have the help of actual people. If there is no NPC summon, you will need to figure out the boss yourself. See the tips I have further down.

You will not see messages or specters.

You will not be able to use the Cum chalice. That makes grinding for items substantially harder.

Generally, you can play the game entirely on your own! That is possible, and largely what I did! In some instances, playing offline is a boon, even. Namely in the Nightmare Frontier and the first part of the Nightmare of Mensis. In those two areas, if you are playing Online, you are automatically entered into the Invasion pool, and you cannot return to the Hunter's Dream while this is active. You need to find the Bellringer to kill her before you can return. Consider playing in offline in those areas until you are right before the boss.

General Tips and Tricks

First off, this game is huge. There is a lot to do, a lot to do wrong, and how to do things seems overwhelming at first. Let's see if we can't order that a bit, eh?

First things first, don't be afraid to look things up! I personally endorse the Bloodborne Wiki here. It isn't the Fextralife wiki, but it has a lot of data, extremely detailed pictures, and good breakdowns of the weaknesses your foes will have. It also has extremely good guides for chalice dungeons, and where to find things. There is no shame in looking things up, and anyone who tells you otherwise needs to get a grip.

Second! You will die. You will see this a lot.

It's a meme for a reason. Don't worry about it, death is meaningless and teaches you how to do things. It may get frustrating at times, but if you take death personally, you won't have fun. If you die too much in a single region, there may be cause for you to go and grind a bit somewhere else until you are at the spot you want to be. Maybe you need to get more familiar with your weapon. Maybe you need more echoes. Go and grind a bit somewhere, and get familiar with movesets - both yours and your foes'. You will lose echoes. That happens. It will become less and less of an issue over time. Try not to use all your coldblood dew in one go, it's nicer to have a solid stock of echoes to have for when you are maybe a hundred or a thousand echoes off from the next big level up.

Third up: Before you do anything else, level up your vitality. That's your health. You need to be able to tank at least one or two hits, or you'll go down like a wet sack of flour. Attack power can come later, you need to be able to survive for now. Your first order of business once you get access to Miss Doll is to level up your vitality to at least 20 if not 25. Then you may focus on the attack power. Don't be me and level up one of your attack stats to 25 and stay with your health at starting level until you get to the Bloodstarved Beast. I mean, you can. But it will make things more dangerous. Endurance is useful too, that is what you use to hit and to run. I personally consider vitality a bit more needed though, I did two game runs with barely leveling endurance and only really got to it now in ng+2.

Fourth: Get out of the starter clothes, but feel free to have fun with dressing up. Clothes have stats, yes, but the clothes will not save your life. It is better to dress how you want to than to dress for stats. There are very few instances where those will actually save your life. The few points I can think of are when poison is involved, and when you need to avoid Frenzy. Aside from that, just have fun with it! There is no fashion police unless you are invaded by them. Style goes hard, and fashionborne is a thing.

Fifth: If you are coming in from Dark Souls or Elden Ring, I have to tell you that you need to forget that shields are a thing. They will not save you. There are two of them in the game. One protects against magic and is dlc only. The other one is less than useless and even described as such in the item description

You parry with the power of Gun. The timing is roughly equal to Dark Souls 1 parry times, and it is easier to do it than you think! If you parry shoot someone, you have a chance to go in for a visceral, which will deal a good chunk 'a damage to your enemies. Viscerals primarily scale with Skill, so consider leveling that up a bit. ^^ A Visceral is essentially a riposte. After you shoot an enemy by using L2 or hit them with a charged R2 from the back and it is staggered, if you get close and tap R1, you get a Visceral attack. This works from the front or the back on general mobs, but bosses tend to have specific spots to Visceral.

Sixth: Don't go into the DLC as soon as you can. It is brutal. You will die. It is end-game scaled. I have seen recs that say to do it after you killed Micolash. Others even put it after the Wet Nurse. Generally, don't do this until you are at least at Blood Level 80, better yet 90, and have a well upgraded weapon.

Seventh: You will see NPCs die here. You will not like that. Sometimes the best way is to never engage them, but you will learn their fates the first time. it will happen. It will hurt. If you want to save as many as you can, look it up on the wiki. It's going to be okay in the end. But it will not be fun at all times. If people can be spared, try to do that. There are too few friendly faces in Yharnam already.

Caryll Runes (specifically the Oath Runes)

You will get access to an item called the Rune Iron after defeating the boss of Hemwick Charnel Lane. This allows you to equip Caryll runes of varying effects. Most of them enhance a stat or allow you to carry more items. Experiment a bit with them until you find something you like. I won't dictate which runes to use. No, what I want to talk about are the Oath runes.

If you come in from Dark Souls, you are likely aware of Covenants. These runes work similarly. Depending on whether or not you have the DLC, you have between 4-6 covenant runes. Two of these are in complete opposition, one may result in increased pvp.

I will let this picture make the work for me, and elaborate a bit on best uses after that.

As seen, there are six runes:

The Cainhurst Vilebloods, also called Corruption, obtained by talking to Queen Annalise. If equipped, you will enter pvp when summoned by an Executioner, or if you summon one yourself. The rune will heal you a bit as you are near death, and this mechanic doesn't rely on being online.

The Executioners, also called Radiance, obtained by letting Alfred kill Queen Annalise. This rune does the same for pvp as the vileblood rune. This rune increases the percentage blood vials recover your health by by about 2%.

The Hunter of Hunters, the Hunter rune, obtained by finishing Eileen's questline. It speeds up the stamina recovery rate by 6%, and if you summon, there is a low chance that the one you summon or are summoned by is declared blood mad, making you an adversary. You will need to defeat them.

The League, also known as Impurity. Impurity heightens your hp by 2% during cooperation, and makes it easier to find help during summoning.

Beast's Embrace, a rune that transforms the hunter into a more bestial state, obtained by defeating Laurence the First Vicar in the DLC. This rune doesn't affect pvp, but enhances the moveset of the beast claw weapon.

Milkweed, a rune that transforms the hunter into a Lumenwood, obtained by helping the npc Saint Adeline in the DLC. This rune heightens discovery, making it easier to find items, and enhances the moveset of the kos parasite weapon, a dlc exclusive.

WEAPONS

Aaaah, the Trick Weapon. The cornerstone of a Hunter's arsenal, and something you need to pay attention to!

Your weapon can break. If you see the "weapon at risk" notice, it's time to go into the dream. Your weapon does half damage at that point, and you do not want that. You need every chunk of damage you can get.

Weapons can, as the name trick weapon implies, trick. They have two modes, and these modes differ. Most of the time, not just in the moveset, but also in how they deal damage. This is important, but not to the point your preference for one weapon type will ruin the game for you.

Weapons can broadly be divided into three categories, which can be useful for builds: strength, skill, quality. They will scale with one of these majorly, and you will want to level that stat more. Quality builds rely on both strength and skill just about equally. They are the everyman's weapon. It is the more esoteric ones that rely on Arcane and Bloodtinge.

Don't lock into one weapon from the start, dear hunters. Don't give a rat's arse about some other person's tierlist of weapons and their stats. Just about everything is viable if you build it for yourself. I personally use a saw spear the most, and for my first run, used a Chalice Gylph to get early access to a Burial Blade for large-scale crowd control. These days, I have exchanged that one for multiple other weapons, each of which is good for a different purpose. You don't have weight limits. Carry what makes your soul sing, and use whichever weapon makes you happy.

Blood Gems can make or break a weapon, sometimes do both, and at times do so literally. Some blood gems make your weapons break faster. They hit like nothing else at that point though. Blood Gems can be found all over, but primarily so in Chalice Dungeons, and they extend the ways your weapons can be used. Experiment a bit with them, but pay attention to the shapes they have. Some can only be used in certain slots.

Upgrading your weapons is crucial in this. You need Blood stone for that. It takes 16 items per upgrade material tier. 3 for the first, 5 for the second, and 8 for the third upgrade of the tier. 16 Blood Stone shards to get a weapon to +3, Blood Stone Twin Shards to +6, Blood Stone Chunks to +9, and then the final price are coveted Blood Stone Rocks, which allow the final upgrade to +10. Depending on whether or not you have the DLC, there is a limited number of them you can get per game cycle. They can be farmed, but they are rare. Think carefully about which weapon you want to get to +10.

Weapons come in variants. These Lost and Uncanny variants are found in Chalice dungeons, and they have different blood gem layouts. Use that to get some variety, or to acquire a weapon early. ;)

Builds?

I bet you heard the word Builds before. It carries weight, and it tells you what your character is good at. Now, don't worry. You don't need to make those from scratch. The wiki I linked before has a few build guides. Often, builds decide which weapons you can use best. There is no shame in experimenting a bit, in mixing and matching.

Generally, builds are very useful for pvp. It makes you pvp optimized, and the pvp level rests at around 120. You can of course level higher! In fact, the cap is at 544, so 99 in each stat. The return for stat investment you see diminishes at a certain point, the hard and soft caps. That's okay, it is expected.

I personally tend to run skill builds. Strength builds are just as viable however, as are bloodtinge or arcane builds. They are all damn useful, and they are all fascinating to play. Your starting class can help, but in the long haul, it barely does anything.

First and foremost, have fun with it. Do give a look to this site though if you want a few build ideas.

What does scaling mean?

Weapons scale. That means that they depend stronger on one stat than another. The scaling of a weapon improves as you upgrade it. A weapon with a D scaling in strength is going to rely less on it than a weapon with an A scaling. Scaling determines bonus damage your weapon does, and it's shown by a + symbol next to the raw damage number.

Does higher scaling make a better weapon? Technically. And yet, despite that, someone with a fully upgraded Simon's Bowblade can and will die to someone who is naked and running in with a broken, not upgraded saw cleaver that yells cowabunga. It's the player that makes or breaks a weapon.

How and where to farm?

Farming is essential. You need vials, and you need bullets. And you sure as hell need echoes. You gotta get that off the ground before you can get a Chalice to use the unfortunately named Cum chalice, and if you don't have Online, you can't rely on that. Farming can and will get easier once you got a steady supply of Bold Hunter's Marks too, since they allow you to respawn without losing your echoes, so consider investing in some of those! This site has a few guides, but here is a short list of my favorite places to farm some stuff:

Blood Vials:

These drop from Scourge Beasts and Large Huntsmen a lot. Brick Trolls are practically guaranteed to drop between 2-3 of them. Those are not easy foes at first. If you have opened the shortcut to Gilbert's house, you can farm them somewhat easily from the scourge beasts on the bridge by luring them towards the entrance of the house leading to the Bridge. just clear the people inside first. The scourge beasts don't fit through the door, and if you have the axe or cane, you can safely dispatch them one at a time.

Large huntsmen are vulnerable to being parried when they have their arms raised the highest, but if you have a reasonably fast weapon, you can stunlock them. If you manage to sneak up to them from behind, do a charge attack (long r2) and they immediately become vulnerable to a visceral. Use that window to get 'em!

Brick trolls kind of suck to parry at first, but they drop blood vials rather reliably. They are easy once you get used to their timing, but they are intimidating. Don't be afraid to land potshots, and run away if it gets too dicey.

Bullets:

Your thighs. Don't be afraid to stab yourself via Up on the d-pad to get 5 extra bullets, especially if you have a surplus of vials.

Any mob with a musket will drop bullets. If you feel like chancing murder alley, there is one near a carriage pretending he is asleep. kill him, loot him, to the nearest lantern, rinse and repeat.

Bloodstone Shards:

Those drop from the sewers and the large huntsmen there about as often as blood vials. Be careful and you won't waste for getting your weapon to +3 before you know it.

If you haven't done the sewers, Old Yharnam has a good spot. It makes me feel a bit bad because I like Djura and he says beasts are people, but the area he can't see, near the church and over the bridge has about 4-5 scourge beasts and a lot of beast patients that you can kill relatively easily. they drop a lot of echoes and shards, and you can use those. They drop vials too, and sometimes even beast blood pellets.

Echoes

Broadly said? Everyone and everything. That doesn't help you, I know that. So let's see what I can go with that will help y'all in actual places...

Central Yharnam: The house behind Gilbert's. You need to open the shortcut for it, yes, but it's good farming. You got slow yharnamite hunter mobs, and you can easily get them down, and then there is the bridge right at the top where you can lure the scourge beasts to the entrance of the house. you will be inside and can kill them cheaply. Do not go to Murder Alley, aka the long bend at the start. That is hubris talking. Also consider the bridge at the aqueduct. if you go to the middle and then run back and go somewhat down the ladder, the huntsmen get bowled over, quite literally. Bowling for beasts nets you a fair bit of echoes for little effort.

The Cathedral Ward: There are three church servants and some fat crows in the back area of the chapel. If you kill those, you learn the parry timing of the servants (when they raise their staff), and you get echoes. The servants drop bullets and vials. It's good. Then go to the outer courtyard. two more servants. one to parry, one to let walk by and sneak up on with a backstab visceral. Beware the amygdala in the corner, it's grabby.

Old Yharnam: Don't focus on going through this area the first time without damage. Just try to survive, and if you gotta kill beasts, it happens. DO NOT GO UP ON THE TOWER! That way is Djura. Djura can be befriended if you stop hunting the beasts of Old Yharnam after defeating the boss Darkbeast Paarl. I like sitting with Djura, he's cool. Anyways. If you get through Old Yharnam, you will eventually reach a church where a beast bursts through the doors. Go inside and up the stairs, and you unlock a shortcut all the way back to the start. now you got an area for the easy farming of echoes, about 3-4k per run. you go down the church, and then go at the 3 scourge beasts on the bridge as well as the three beast patients coming in. Then you turn around, sneak up on the screaming beast patient in the fog, and backstab-visceral her. Try not to get poisoned by that scourge beast there. rinse and repeat as needed.

The Forbidden Woods: Why do you want to farm here. This thing has poison. It has snakes. eugh. That said, once you get the shortcut to valtr open, he has a thriving snake habitat next to himself. It's a decent farming spot. I try not to be here, I don't like this place.

Hemwick Charnel Lane: Your best bet to farm here are actually the mobs right in front of the boss room. Once you got the Witches down, you can go back up and take care of the 3 grave women, the executioner, and the dogs there. that gets decent echoes!

Yahar'gul: No. (you can get twin stone shards there. the chance for it is abysmal. don't be me. Do not farm there for 18 hours only to give up without the shards you wanted. You can get twin stone shards elsewhere.)

Cainhurst Castle: You should probably not grind in an area with little guardrails and open roofs, but you do you. If you can deal with potentially being stunlocked by enemies screaming at you, the library is a decent spot.

If you have Online, discard all of these after getting the Pthumeru Chalice. Once you have that, and can use Chalice Glyphs, you will want to enter the Glyph code CUMMMFPK. This will generate a chalice dungeon that will, without fail, drop you nearly 90k echoes for doing nothing but standing in the entrance area for like 5 seconds. I advise using those echoes to buy items rather than to level up, but that choice is yours entirely.

BOSS TIPS

Here we are at last. Took me a good while, but here we are! I will try to do this with some pictures to break up the monotony. Gotta announce them in fashion, after all.

Cleric Beast

This bastard. Utter Tool. screams like the damned. Here's the rough sitch and the damage breakdown:

Hates fire. Is a beast, and thus vulnerable to it. Pack molotovs if you can.

Gets extra damage from serration due to being a beast. The saw cleaver and saw spear are your best friend if you are a fresh player, as is the transformed threaded cane.

Get Father Gascoigne's help if you can and haven't fought him yet. He does decent damage against it, for all that he doesn't heal himself. He will play meatshield quite well! He is found at the fountain near his house, where you can see a brick troll bang away at a door.

When the beast screams, it won't attack. you can use that to whale on it. Don't get too comfy though.

It is surprisingly fast, but turns slowly. If you are behind it, you can slash at its ankles.

It can be parried. isn't easy, but it can be done. Sometimes you get insanely lucky and do it with a throwing knife. Don't focus on the visceral. Slow and steady wins the race.

Father Gascoigne

Congratulations, you met the first mandatory boss. Congratudolences if you are like my dear girlfriend and his voice does it for you. You will get your shit kicked in summarily.

He has two and a half phases. Yes, i mean that as i said it. He has a Human phase, and a beast phase. About one-third in, he will transform his axe. that extends his already ridiculous reach, and it will be announced by a voiceline. You'll know it when you hear it. He can still use his blunderbuss despite the transformed axe. The computer is a cheating bastard, I guess. The beast phase kicks in at a point between half and a third of his health being left. He will hold his head, shriek, and transform into a beast. At that point he drops his weapons and will go for claws.

Gascoigne is a mirror boss to the Hunter. He fights like you. And it is meant to be hard. He is in a crowded arena, and that is not easy to navigate. But just as you can get stuck, so can he. Use that to your advantage to get healing in. Don't get greedy attacking him.

If you found his daughter, you will have a music box. Using that will make him stop attacking for a bit and howl in pain. You get four uses of that total. Three in human form. After the third usage, he will transform into the beast prematurely. His beast form only weakens from it once. He will howl in pain, and you can slash in. If you have trouble using the box, go up the stairs and towards the roof, but do it carefully, since you still want to be able to hit him after it works. This will go for beast and person both.

He is far more mobile as a beast, and can destroy the gravestones. If you are careful with that, you can get yourself some room to maneuver. I do not recommend that, frankly.

His human form doesn't have a particular weakness you can exploit early on, unless you want to stagger him. In taht case, use the kirkhammer. I have it on authority that it makes him stagger like a drunken man. After transforming, he is weak to serration and fire like any other beast. Don't waste molotovs, he is liable to dodge that.

If you need breathing room, up the stairs and down to the roof, and back into the graveyard. he tends to follow you, and that can buy you good time because he needs a bit to get down on the roof.

The Bloodstarved Beast (or as I call it, Old Raghead)

This boss won't win beauty awards. what it will win is your annoyance.

This beast is weak to serration and fire, business as usual.

It does however deal poison damage. It's blood is poisonous, and it is fast and likes to make grabby hands.

You should in fact try to bring in Alfred as a meat shield. It will raise the boss health, but he can distract it well enough.

You need to dress in poison resistant clothes. Gascoigne's garb has superb poison resistance and is good for this.

Pack antidotes. As many as you can. For the worst case scenario, the back of the arena has about 3 more. You will need them.

Keep molotovs handy, and the fire paper cooperating with Alfred gives you. You can find two more at the top of the shortcut church in old yharnam. They coat your weapon in fire for about 60 seconds each, and that is hella valuable.

This thing is quick. If it screams and the skin flaps, haul ass backwards because it is about to let out a cloud of poison

the third phase has not-so-fun gimmick: permanent poison aura. get fast, know when to use your antidotes, and have blood vials handy.

the hunter torch you can find near the shortcut door can make a decent substitute weapon here if you ran out of fire-paper. it won't do much, but it does fire, and that is sometimes just enough. If you have the flamesprayer, that is very neat too.

In theory you can parry this dude. I never managed it. props if you do.

You may get frustrated at dying. That happens, and is a part of it. I can't tell you much aside from the fact that you may wish to dodge forward rather than to the side or backward when it goes in for a swipe, because that allows you to go under it and gives you access to the back. You got this.

Old Hunter Henryk

Henryk is technically not a boss. He sure as fuck still feels like one. He is sitting at a horrendously high blood level for the point you find him at. If you don't want Eileen to die, you have only one true shot at this. So here is my list of tips for this crochety old bastard.

Just like Gascoigne, Henryk is a Hunter. That means he will fight like you. Unlike Gascoigne, Henryk comes with a you-sized hitbox as well. On one hand that means he can't reach you as fast. On the other hand, you can't do it either. You win some, you lose some.

Henryk packs a pistol, unlimited throwing knives, and a saw cleaver. Said saw cleaver has been upgraded so it hits harder.

Henryk is very prone to shooting and parrying you, especially if you go in with r1 attacks only.

You can save yourself some runback if you don't mind having a longer run through the Cathedral Ward. Before opening the gates for Eileen to come in, spawn in at the Tomb of Oedon. The initial runback if you die before engaging Henryk is longer, but if you die against Henryk, you'll respawn right in his face. Consider that worth it, especially if you want to keep Eileen alive.

I would advise you to try and learn to sneak up and visceral attack. If you come in from Oedon Chapel, and you walk slowly, you can drop onto the roof where Viola's corpse is, and can sneak to the back of Henryk, as long as you practically hug the gravestones. If you then charge and r2 him, you get a free visceral to start this battle off with. That can make or break it.

Henryk's health bar remains reduced if you die in the fight.

Eileen will jump in after like a minute. Henryk is highly likely to visceral her. Once eileen joins, shoot henryk. use all your ammunition on this. Shoot him. shoot him and make sure he doesn't visceral her. Take potshots with your main weapon if you can, but once eileen is there, focus on harrying him. bleed yourself for bullets if you have to, use throwing knives, and if you got some from the cathedral ward, poison knives work on him too.

If you die against him, that isn't the end of the world, but it will make things difficult. try to keep Eileen alive, shoot henryk. That and the entrance visceral tends to do the trick as far as i have learned. Maybe use fire paper or bolt paper if you have that, but don't activate that right behind him. do it from a bit away. He can hear the application, and doing that ruins the entrance visceral.

Darkbeast Paarl

Paarl here is a fun boss, as far as I think. It is also prerequisite to befriending Djura. Paarl is also a bit of a hard nut to crack, especially if you lock on to it. The camera is a bit of a bastard.

First off, you need Lightning resistance. I'd personally suggest doing Paarl after you help Eileen take care of Henryk. He is right above Paarl in this, because Henryk does practically work as a boss in his own right. Why do I suggest Paarl after Henryk? Because you can buy his set from the Insight Messengers after you kill him, and it has the highest Lightning resistance in the game. I know I said fashion likely won't save you. In this case, the lightning resistance will however afford you at least one more hit to tank, so wear that. You will be blindingly yellow, but it's better.

Paarl, as a beast, is weak to serration and fire.

You can have summoned NPC help for Paarl. Depending on what you have done so far, you can get either Defector Antal or Confederate Yamamura the Wanderer. Yamamura is available if you freed/killed him in the DLC, and when you wear the Impurity oath rune. Antal is slightly better in this instance, because he has a flamesprayer. You can only summon one of them, they are mutually exclusive.

Don't lock onto Paarl, it moves quickly and it is large. That means chaotic camera movement.

Paarl screams a lot, and those screams tend to herald it doing a lightning explosion. Be aware of that.

if you stand underneath it, that tends to be relatively safe until it starts to explode.

Molotovs and oil urns are your friend, as is fire paper. Use them if you can.

After killing Paarl, use the lamp to go back to the dream. then, open the doors and run towards djura's tower without killing the beasts. You will get the chance to spare the beasts. spare them, and he will stop shooting at you and give you the powder keg badge and a gesture. Friends are rare in yharnam, and the top of his tower is a nice spot to relax for a bit.

Vicar Amelia

Amelia is not as hard as one thinks.

She is a beast. that means serration and fire. you know the drill by now. ;)

You can summon Old Hunter Henriett to help here. She has a kirkhammer and a repeating pistol. She pulls her weight, and does a good job! Summon her if you got insight to spare.

Vicar amelia has large telegraphed swipes and can be dodged into. If you have Henriett, she reliably goes and becomes bait.

If you did well with the Cleric Beast, this all applies to Amelia as well. She is after all a cleric beast as well.

Amelia tries to heal in her later phase, when screaming. She gets a white-ish glow, but you can easily outpace her healing with damage. If you aren't confident in it, throw some Numbing Mists at her.

I... don't have many tips for her, she is, all things considered, a bit of a "repeat what you learned" case of a boss. Not that hard, but also not really introducing new mechanics, y'know?

The Witch(es) of Hemwick aka granny wants your eyes

This boss can be cheesed if you are willing to get rid of all your insight.

If you have insight, they summon Mad Ones. The easy way to circumvent that is to enter the arena, see the boss, bold hunters mark out, and then spend all your insight in the dream. that way, the witches can't summon mad ones, and on their own they are relatively harmless. They go somewhat invisble, but that isn't a big issue when you run close.

Once you kill the first, a second witch shows up, and if you let her, she will revive the first. The second one doesn't really do stuff for the boss health bar for some reason, but you do need to gank them both.

Really, just do yourself the favor and spend the insight, it makes this all so much easier.

Shadows of Yharnam

These proto-nazgul are not all that fun. There are three of them, and they have different weaknesses. We have Candle, Sword, and Mace.

You can summon for this, if you have the Impurity Rune equipped. You can get the Younger Madaras Twin or Henryk. I would personally go for Henryk, as he has higher health and also intelligence. Younger Madaras Twin can and will get lost in the forest. Henryk doesn't.

Your best bet is to focus on one of them at a time. For all that they have three health bars, they share a trigger pool, and when one of them reaches a certain threshold or their combined damage does, they go into phase two and sprout snakes. You will want to have gotten rid of one of the pyromancers at that point, or at least have them close to that.

I would suggest spending some insight to get shaman bone blades. If you did that already, excellent! they are a close quarter item, and if used on enemies, makes them attack other enemies for a bit. That is tide-turning here, so use them. You can have three of them, and they are worth it.

The one with the fireball has the least hp, the sword only one the most.

When they enter phase two, they have a vastly extended reach. try to move in close and be quick, and be liberal with using elemental paper, it's a small bonus. I would personally suggest bolt, but fire does it just as well.

Once two shadows are dead, the third gets the power to summon snakes. they are large. they hurt. Be quick as you can be once the other two are down, because he won't wait that long to summon them.

All in all, divide and conquer is your main strategy. Get Henryk to help you, he is really good here. Good luck.

Rom the Vacuous Spider (photo a stand in because arachnophobes)

Rom is... well, she is a summoner.

Rom is weak to Bolt and fire does a nice chunk of damage too. If you have it, use the Tonitrus. She also takes extra damage from Kinhunter gems.

You can summon for this fight. The options are Henryk, The Younger Madaras Twin, and Mensis Scholar Damian. All of them have their uses, but they are mutually exclusive. You can summon Henryk AND the Madaras twin, or Damian. Henryk is a good damage dealer, but Damian uses the Choir Bell, which means an additional source of healing. You need to decide which you value more in this case.

Rom will not attack you the first time you enter the arena. That gives you some time to prepare. Your first strike will not damage her, it will merely aggro her.

Rom teleports three times. During her curl-up animation, you can still damage her.

Rom will summon a horde of her children to fight you. Their front is hard to damage, because their faces are practically stone. This holds true for Rom too. Going in from the side is your best bet.

After she teleports the first time, Rom will begin to summon meteors. Meteors deal arcane damage and it sucks. When she teleports the second time, she gains access to ice spikes. they also do arcane damage.

Rom is a war of attrition. You should go in from the side, and if you have it, use your flamesprayer buffed with Bone Marrow Ash. that can eat through her health quite well!

I strongly encourage summoning someone to help, that makes the romlings manageable. their health isn't affected by the summon, unlike rom's own.

When you approach Queen Yharnam after the fight, you will transition into the Blood Moon Phase. I strongly suggest you save who you wish to before that, and tie up loose ends. You can teleport back here via the lantern at any time.

Amygdala aka The Surveillance System of Yharnam

This is the Amygdala. It is a Great One proper. Despite that, it isn't all that difficult in this instance. It only gets bad in the Defiled Chalice.

Amygdala is weak to Fire, Bolt and Arcane. It does not get bonus damage for Beast or Kin.

Amygdala has a huge lower area where you can stand practically unmolested. If you hang around behind it, amygdala will eventually jump, and try to land on you. If you take two steps forward and have a weapon like Ludwig's Holy Blade or the Burial blade, and charge the r2 in full, you will nail it right in the head after it lands. That deals a shitton of damage, and is in fact the best way I can tell you to damage it.

Amgydala will summon a laser in a zigzag pattern. Not the most fun attack, but when you get close enough, that isn't a problem anymore.

When you damage it enough, it will throw a tantrum and tear out its arms to use as clubs. The jump-bait will still work though, so keep on using that.

The One Reborn

The One Reborn is very weak to Bolt. It does not get bonus damage for beast or kin.

You can summon for this fight. Options are Defector Antal and if you freed/killed him in the Nightmare and wear the Impurity Rune, you can summon Confederate Yamamura the Wanderer. Both are viable in this fight, and you may go for whoever appeals to you more. They are mutually exclusive. Antal carries a church pick and flamesprayer, Yamamura a piercing rifle and a chikage. He can potentially cause rapid poison damage, antal may be better if you want elemental damage.

Heavy weapons will do well, but blunt damage weapons less so. TOR has decent blunt defense, so the Kirkhammer will not do all that well.

TOR has six bell ringing maidens on the ramparts. You need to kill these first, because they will heal it and support it. Once they are down, feel free to have a go at this disgusting mass of putrid flesh.

Both up close and far away has its hurdles. It can stretch to reach you, and it vomits up acid if you are too close. Focus on dodging and keeping yourself alive. Keep the electricity on your weapon, and things will work out.

This boss is more annoying than bad. You can do it!

The Celestial Emissary

Weak to Bolt and Kin gems. This is a failed great one experiment.

This is a bit of a puzzle boss. At first you merely see a lot of walking Kin, with no specially distinguished boss. It will be the one keeping at the back, so try to ignore the ones rushing for you. Keep taking care of them, but go for the one in the back.

After a while, it will grow huge and grow tentacles from the head. This boss does not deal well with thrust damage either, so consider using a transformed saw spear, the rifle spear, or a stake driver equipped with kinhunter gems.

You can use the arena to your advantage to get the smaller kin into a bottleneck near the entrance of the arena, and pick them off one by one. The do respawn eventually, but all in all, this isn't too difficult of a boss.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos, aka the big unknowable Girl

Ebrietas is a Great One, and is weak to Bolt, Kin, and Fire.

Her reach is long, and your patience needs to be longer.

You can summon Mensis Scholar Damian for this. His use varies a bit and depends on RNG, but he is decent for this. Use him if you feel like it!

Like with rom, your first attack on her will not deal damage. She is non-hostile at first and at the back of the arena. Damian will not walk in until you aggro'd her.

Phase one she crawls towards you slowly, and goes for tentacle lashes and head slams if close enough. Every once in a while she discovers her inner speed demon and rushes towards you. if she spits blood, have a sedative ready, because it will almost always max out your frenzy meter unless you managed your insight and outfit well.

Come phase two, she will begin using what is a scaled up version of A Call Beyond. She also has an aura that will damage you whenever you are in the vicinity of it.

You can in theory be behind her back and between her tails and continuously deal thrust damage, be it with a fully charged r2 stake driver or a holy blade. This runs the risk of you getting locked in a corner and her killing you though, so use that trick with caution.

Ebrietas is a boss I personally struggled with, and that I don't look forward to fighting again. Just... try to wear her down slowly. Don't get greedy.

The Bloody Crow of Cainhurst

Another member of the "not technically a boss"-squad, like Henryk.

Like Henryk, he hits like a truck. Unlike Henryk, you got unlimited attempts with this one. If you killed Henryk, you will face the Bloody Crow. If you didn't help Eileen, you will face her. I don't know how to fight Eileen, because I got very good at killing Henryk.

He uses Quickening, which means he essentially teleports rather than dodges. He is a bitch. He also uses a Chikage, so he can inflict rapid poison on you. You can poison him too, though. It won't be easy, but you can.

He uses a Chikage (Fully upgraded), a Repeating Pistol, an Old Hunter's Bone for Quickening, and a single Blood Vial. when you get him to half health, he will heal himself up. You can stop that with Numbing Mist if you feel like it.

This will be rough. I won't even pretend you won't be in for the long haul here. This Hunter has more HP than some bosses you faced so far, and he has rather good defenses. He seems to be somewhat weak to Bolt.

He is fast and a bastard and good at inflicting viscerals on you. You need to dodge, and if you are good at parrying, be ready to be disappointed. He teleports away.

You just kind of... Need to be careful here and be ready to dodge. If you got a blue elixir, you may be able to come closer to him than otherwise right at the start, and with some luck and skill, you can possibly get a starting visceral off. That isn't a guarantee, but it's worth trying.

Good luck. Remember, you got all night for this. Unlike Henryk, he can't kill Eileen, and you won't stay dead in any way that matters. If needed, throw everything and the kitchen sink at him. Knives of all kinds, oil urns, molotovs, whatever works. Try it all.

Martyr Logarius, the Corpsicle

Martyr Logarius is a fight where you gotta watch the environment. The roof has no guardrails and you WILL fall off if you aren't careful.

The corpsicle is weak to all sorts of physical damage, and has resistance to all sorts of elemental and poison damage. Just hit him.

You can't summon npc help, but if you can, i support using online to get yourself a proper cooperator.

He is fast and agile, and occasionally he flies, but he is also highly predictable in his attacks.

Phase one he will summon skull spheres. if you run past them and at him, he often doesn't get off more than two, and his scythe telegraphs well. You can stagger him. Just in general, dodge towards him and through the attacks, that works wonders.

Once he drives his staff in the ground, go for that to destroy his armor and stagger him.

When he summons phantom swords, you reached phase two. Phase two means this bastard flies like a pastor on wires.

He becomes more aggressive and chases you down, but that only means more parry opportunities. Single shot firearms work better here than the blunderbuss.

when he flies, attack the sword in the ground, that dispels the phantom weapons.

when he tries to cast a spirit wave, go back. you can't interrupt that. otherwise, parry, parry, parry.

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare, aka Soggy Todd Howard

Welcome, dear hunter, to the worst fight in the game. This is a walking simulator combined with a rage simulator.

Micolash may be a fucking twink, but he hits like a truck. Do not be deceived. He has an augur of Ebrietas, and will use it to nigh on instakill you. He also has A Call Beyond. Be really, really careful.

He is relatively susceptible to poison. If you got poison knives, you may cheese him a little. If you hit him with a throwing knife before getting into his range and poison him (should take 2-3 knives), he will start a cycle of "run, disappear, come back at first spot, rinse repeat"". This will go on as long as he is poisoned. It's slow, but it will help.

Remember to take care of his marionettes, they do hit like hell and can also respawn.

After a while he will go into a single room where you can whale on him until he is at half health, after which he will run again. Not exactly fun to deal with. He will summon two marionettes, so take care of them, and stagger him if you get the chance.

Once in second phase, you can absolutely cheese him, should you have Simon's Bowblade. After giving him the run-around in the upper arena area, you can drop into his end room ahead of time, and approach him from behind. If you stand in the entranceway, you can shoot him in the back again and again, and he won't run into the room you are in, or attack you. This man doesn't deserve the honor of a fair fight. Kill him.

Mergo's Wet Nurse

Congratulations! Depending on the Ending you are going for, this is your final boss. This is Mergo's Wet Nurse. She is a Great One proper.

You may find the music a familiar tune. It is the full melody of the one Gascoigne's music box played.

The Wet Nurse is horrendously weak to fire, bolt and rapid poison. If you have dirty blood gems or a chikage, now is the time to use them.

You can make relatively light work of her by staying behind her and using charged r2 attacks. That aside, beware that she likes to twirl.

This is a war of attrition. She will summon fog and doubles after a while, but the doubles go down to a single hit. once this aptly named Nightmare Fog is over, go back to the grindstone of hit and run with charged r2 attacks.

She is NOT all that threatening, all things considered. The biggest issue is visibility.

After defeating her, wait a while to see the Nightmare Slain message. Congrats, you killed your first higher god! If you go back to see Queen Yharnam now, she will bow to you in thanks.

Gehrman, the First Hunter

This is it. This is the second potential final boss, depending on whether or not you consumed the three cords.

Gehrman is another Hunter Boss. He is distinguished by long reach and rapid burst movement, yet also has relatively slow limping speed otherwise. He has about three phases.

Like every human, he is rather allergic to being electrocuted or set on fire. Bolt and Fire are your friends, as are parries and Arcane damage.

At first, his burial blade is transformed. he will dash in to try and reel you in, and he is really good at that. However, he telegraphs, and that allows you to parry and visceral him. Use that.

After a while, he will transform his burial blade and go in for close combat, This is the point he brings out his own gun to shoot and visceral you. Be aware of the distance his gunfire covers, and dodge with it. Try not to be greedy, he is good at interrupting you.

After a while, he will get to phase three. He will rise into the air and absorb energy before releasing an energy blast. This blast reduces your health, but you can attack him somewhat unimpeded while he gathers the energy. This is where things get tricky, because he will now have an aerial projectile attack, switches between weapon modes at will, and has a bit of super armor. He gets more aggressive, and you need to be able to adapt to this.

If you defeat him and are low on resources, but consumed the umbilical cords, Bold Hunters Mark out. Restock. And then go back in, because you have one more boss to kill.

The Moon Presence, Flora of the Moon

Your last Great One. The final Boss proper, should you have found and used the three cords and fought Gehrman.

You will kill her. That is not optional. You have consumed the cords. You felled bigger foes than her. She is merely the last on the menu and she knows it.

Flora is weak to all elementals. Be it bolt or fire or arcane. Poison will do nothing to her. She is the only entity in the game where it will never proc.

You will want to carry the Choir Bell. She can stop you from healing, and the choir bell negates that.

Flora has less health than Gehrman and the Wet Nurse. She is frail but fast, and uses that. She will jump around the field to fell you.

Her head is her weak point. Aim for that if you can.

Do NOT get greedy. leave yourself the stamina to dodge backwards and escape from her swipes to heal up.

Standing behind her tends to be the safest spot, unless she winds up for a spinning whip attack.

When she makes it rain blood, your healing is being blocked. Use the choir bell, because oh man will you need it. When she uses her Doom Gaze attack and a red shockwave runs out, you reach one hp. no fail. if you can't heal then, you are fucked. HAVE THE BELL.

sidesteps are a good way to survive phase one. Flora has a tendency to attack straight forward.

Good luck. She too will fall.

DLC BOSSES

Ludwig the Accursed/Ludwig the Holy Blade

You have the DLC. That means you have a whole new frontier to fight in, to dismantle. This includes this former Church paragon, Ludwig. He has two phases that are drastically different.

His first phase, he is a beast proper. Serration, fire, the works. He howls and shrieks, and moves erratically.

You can summon for this fight. In the Nightmare Church, you can find Henriett. Slightly hidden in a corner near Ludwig's cave, you find Valtr, should you wear Impurity. I suggest Valtr, as he carries the Whirligig Saw. It doesn't matter much if he is Master of the League or the Beast Eater. Either way, he will work better than Henriett. Furthermore, should he survive, you can gain a Vermin.

Ludwig will swipe and jump in phase one. He will move erratically, try to run you over or kick you, and after a while, the second mouth on his shoulder will spew milky arcane vomit that has a long reach. Ludwig is deceptively fast. Try to stay on his sides to immobilize him, and try not to be backed into a corner.

When you reach the halfway phase, he will transition into the Ludwig the Holy Blade phase. He now fights completely differently. Furthermore, the Beast gem bonuses no longer apply, and serration no longer damages him extra. The game no longer sees him as a beast.

Ludwig now fights with the Holy Moonlight Sword. He has long reach but is slower, and it is in fact possible now to duck under them and anticipate which ones he is liable to use.

If he raises his sword straight up, be ready to dodge to the side. He is about to summon a blast of energy right in front of him. If he holds his sword down, dash back as he is about to unleash an aoe blast.

He is no longer susceptible to side damage, but if you break his super armor in front, he will stagger and you can visceral.

If it gets dicey with blood vials, there are five at the back of the arena, behind the railing. Get them if you need to.

Laurence, the first Vicar

You can summon Valtr for this fight as well. If that is useful depends entirely on whether or not if he wants a dunk in the lava or not. First phase is worth it, third not so much.

Laurence is the only beast not susceptible to fire. He is on fire. If you want elemental damage, go for Bolt.

He is a reskinned Cleric Beast that occasionally explodes into fire. The first two phases are essentially the Cleric Beast again. I would suggest wearing the Charred Hunter garb to avoid burning painfully.

He may be largely the Cleric Beast all over, but that fire explosion hurts like hell. it will come and you will need extra vials for that. Be prepared.

Phase three, his legs dissolve into lava and he turns the floor into a hazard as he crawls after you and vomits up more lava. This is where Valtr's pathfinding ai will suffer and he is liable to get himself killed.

Lead elixirs can make it so you won't flinch from the lava, but it doesn't reduce the damage you can get. Use with care.

In phase three, try to keep to his side, and stay away from the back.

The Living Failures

These fine gentlemen are Kin and failed celestial emissiaries.

They are weak to bolt, fire, kinhunter gems, and susceptible to rapid poison.

They share a healthpool. Being able to inflict rapid poison is a fast way to kill them. The available League summon, Yamamura the Wanderer, may inflict this status. He is a valuable ally, both as a meat shield and fighter.

There are four on the field at all times. two melee, two mages. They will come at you even so. Divide and conquer.

My suggested weapon is a decently upgraded whirligig fully equipped with Kinhunter gems. a transformed, charged L1 or R2 is going to tear through the individual failures and make them need to respawn. In that time, you can go for the next one and reduce them relatively well.

You can use a shaman bone blade to make them attack each other. Enjoy with caution.

When they raise their arms, seek shelter under the lumenflower. They are summoning meteors. Take cover, then right after, shred their health some more.

All in all, don't get greedy and you'll be fine.

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

It's her. The face of the DLC. The former apprentice of Gehrman.

Maria is another Hunter type boss. And by god by golly does it show.

She changes weapon types at leisure, and transforms her rakuyo freely. She is agile, and can visceral you. The animation for that differs depending on character gender, btw ;)

However, you can visceral HER too. She is rather susceptible to it too. You can parry her, be it with the gun or the augur of ebrietas, and shear through her health until she enters phase two.

Phase two starts with her stabbing herself to coat the rakuyo in blood. she now has about double to triple her old range. Be careful of that. She remains fast, and she practically dances around you. You can still parry her, but be aware that she can reach you from halfway across the arena now and deals blood damage rather than primarily physical.

She uses quickening, which makes her rather good at dodging you. Be aware of that.

Come phase three, she will rise into the air and culminate into a fiery explosion. Cheers. Her blood is now on fire. You will be in pain. Like in phase two, her reach is extended, and it isn't really safe anymore to quickstep through her attacks or rest behind her. There is about a second delay between the blood and the fire.

You will want to move in quick and fast at this point, and may consider using the beast roar to stunlock her in combination with a quick weapon like the blades of mercy.

Good luck.

The Orphan of Kos

This boss is a Superboss.

It is a Great One. Unlike its remaining kin, this boss does not get all that much damage from Bolt, and is weaker to Fire.

This boss has two phases and no NPC summon. I would advise to try and get summon help online if you can. If not, that is fine too. Godspeed tho, you madlad.

The orphan is highly aggressive, but won't start attacking until you are halfway into the arena.

The arena has water. I would encourage to stand in there, because you can't fall off, and it is more even than the beach.

The orphan likes to jump and has more range than you think. You can parry it, but I would honestly focus on surviving more. If it jumps, dash forward so it sails over you. Try to stay on its left side, that way the attacks won't hit you as much.

It can be ranged by throwing globs of its placenta. That will explode and have more side range than you think. Don't dodge into it, sidestep. This will still happen in phase two.

Slow and steady wins the race here. This Great One may be freshly born, but it fights almost like a Hunter and it hurts.

I can honestly only really say that you should use firepaper, keep oil urns on hand, and also some molotovs. Some throwing knives too, in case you run out of bullets and vials.

Once it reaches phase two, it grows and becomes even more aggressive. The weapon can't reach as far anymore, but it jumps like a kid on energy drinks and sugar now, and is more than intent to grind you into paste.

When it screams, be aware that the corpse of Kos is now summoning Lightning. Dodge those waves, they hurt. Don't try to attack the orphan, just stay clear.

Don't get greedy, and take it slow. I can't tell you much more. Godspeed. You can do this.

That is it! Good hunting, and may you stay with us for a long long time!

[madelynhimegami]

Satan Guide

(to the anon that requested Maguro, he's next)

Satan's full title is "The Dark Prince Satan." Some apparently aren't aware that he's called the Dark Prince in Japanese as well, so I'm mentioning it.

Likewise, as funny as the "devil from Bible" jokes are, it's just his name.

You know how some people will use the term "dracula" for vampires? It's the same idea here but for demon lords (shoutouts to Gadget).

As for Satan himself, at his core he is dramatic and full of himself. He's also prone to boredom.

He's far and away the most powerful character in the franchise, hands down.

The above two points are closely linked: When you're the most powerful being in existence, it's too easy to just do what you want without consequence.

Hence the other key point of Satan's character, that he is a massive doofus.

He does stupid things on purpose while limiting his power because it creates conflict he's not immediately set to win. This allows for both drama and uncertainty.

That isn't to say he's just playing the fool and is just distracting everyone else. He really is a dumbass, he just also has an off switch for the silliness when the situation calls for it.

Whether Satan's hamming it up, or resembling a wet sock, or gushing over "Carbunny," or does something patently stupid, or behaving childishly, or displaying a fragile ego… that's not a front. That's raw, unfiltered Satan.

Satan's not really evil. He doesn't look for more power, or seek to rule the world, and isn't really into corrpting mortals into doing his bidding, let alone killing them. Guy just happens to be the Prince of Darkness.

Before continuing down this line of thought, let's take a moment to address the elephant in the room that is his relationship with Arle (and by extension Rulue, Schezo, and Carbuncle).

By the time that Madou 2 happened, Satan had become quite lonely, leading to his setting up a find-a-spouse dungeon with himself at the bottom.

It didn't work, since the first qualified person to reach him beat him up ("I shouldn't've skipped breakfast") and took his rabbit with her.

Over the next several games, Satan got the message that Arle was just flat-out not interested in marrying him.

Which was fine. The shenanigans that happened among him, Arle, Rulue, and Schezo led to the four of them becoming friends (for a given definition of "friend," in a few cases), so he's not lonely anymore.

That said, he's still committed to the bit of pursuing Arle without so much as telling her it even is a bit at this point.

Either Satan is unconvinced that his friendship dynamic with her works without him being obnoxious, or he just doesn't want to rock the boat for whatever reason.

Once, his request to marry Arle was accompanied by a Yes/No prompt. Choosing yes has Satan self-sabotage by pleading "Say it again!" until "No" is selected.

Another time, Arle had some memory problems, and actually believed Satan when he claimed that they were engaged. Satan's immediate response was "Uh, Arle? Are you feeling okay?" He then proceeded to drop the bit until Arle got her memory back.

All the same, his affection for Arle is genuine-- though whether it's still romantic, I couldn't tell you.

As for Rulue, he almost certainly appreciates her as a friend, but would prefer her to back off. Not that he can say so, let alone explain why, without breaking kayfabe.

Schezo, Satan is aware, doesn't particularly like him, but does trust him very deep down. That won't stop him from insulting and/or challenging Satan when they cross paths. Satan just plays along because that's also fun for him.

Carbuncle is adorable and Satan delights in showering him in attention when he gets the chance. Carbuncle probably thinks he has the most cringe parent in all the worlds.

Despite his tendency for chaos, Satan is generally against letting things get so out of control that people start getting seriously hurt, let alone become life-threatening.

In addition, he has nothing but respect for the freedom of others, and so will never try to coerce them, abduct them, or otherwise attempt to control them.

Of course, his penchance for shenanigans means that many will assume his involvement in the chaos of the day. They don't trust him to not be involved.

Really, all bets are off until he's confirmed or denied his involvement.

But back to the point. Satan doesn't go out of his way to cause (direct) harm to people, and he respects the free will of others.

So while he could solve most conflicts he's around for, he typically won't do so proactively, just because it would mean committing life-changing (or ending) violence, as well as deprive others involved of making a choice.

When presenting solutions, his method seems to be to first suggest the absolute least desireable one (ie, killing Squares, putting Sig into eternal sleep). Which is actually a useful strategy in giving less extreme solutions a better sense of scale (or so I heard?)

All bets are off if he has any reason to believe Arle and/or especially Carbuncle are in serious trouble.

As previously stated, Satan typically keeps his vast power in check. Manifesting his true abilities causes strain to the surroundings. The general area may start exploding and/or the fabric of reality itself may start to deteriorate.

While Satan generally sports a masculine presentation, he doesn't have a whole lot of regard for gender. He has a bikini for his own personal use, and once expressed desire to be a distressed damsel/princess that gets saved by a hero (read: Arle). And then there's Satan Saturn.

He is over 100,000 years old, he probably existed before humans even had cultural perceptions of gender.

If forced to label him, I'd say Satan is genderfluid.

Speaking of his age, while Satan physically resembles a 20-something-year-old adult (by his choice, as he can shapeshift), he gives off elderly vibes that a lot of people pick up on easily. He is referred to as an "old man" or some variant with surprising frequency.

He does not like this. So naturally, Ecolo has taken to calling him "gramps" on purpose.

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.5

Skitter is now one for three on interacting with New Wave kids without making them hate her.

Also fun fact I actually hit the image limit while making this post so I had to nix a few of the smaller observations made, there's just that much shit going on

Neat to meet more of New Wave, but boy I wish it was under different circumstances

Also Taylor you were so close to making that descriptor of their anguish work, you shouldn't have acknowledged it

How fucking harrowing must it be to let your daughter go anywhere near the fucking thing that killed your son.

Also I like how even as Skitter realizes that this is not the time or place, she's still indignant at being called "the girl."

What an awful fucking day for all of them. What can even be done, what can even be said?

Just a wet fucking cat of a girl, being carried through the air.

Oh hey Coil, bet your asshole is clenching really fucking hard rn

I wish there was a way for Coil to drown down there without killing Dinah too, but alas

Also absolutely insane that this has all been in the span of, what, an hour? Maybe a little more? What the fuck

And here's Parian proving that she's actually a huge badass

"Why manipulate cloth" honestly my first assumption is that it's bc her power is cloth control

Really fucking funny that people apparently keep thinking that superpowers are magic, though

We hardly knew ye.

I did learn that this is a retcon; Browbeat survived in the initial version of the story, although he quit the Wards in the wake of this attack and never comes up again. The retcon was in... 2019? Reasoning is speculative but I guess people kept making stupid jokes about Browbeat and he got tired of it?

Hey you know what though, really good showing overall, better than a bunch of other capes today

Okay so did this attack go through Leviathan? What the fuck is going on with this Flechette girl, that is utterly fucking cracked. Armsmaster's fucking nanothorns couldn't hack that, what is she doing where her shots do this kinda damage.

Leviathan likes playing with its fucking food, which is weird as hell

This dramatic fucker

God that's so cool, just opening up a fucking chasm in the middle of the battlefield.

...I wonder if it was trying to get into the bunker like Coil was afraid of. I know enough about Noelle to know that could've gone really fucking poorly.

Laserdream is cool, does she get much love in the fandom or is she too peripheral a character for that?

This is kinda funny ngl

That's a lot of fucking dead people, Jesus H

Taylor you are genuinely being too cool about this, your arm is still broken

He can do anything he wants down there, it's terrifying

Very funny that Armsmaster's brand-spanking-new halberd is being put to better use in this fight by people who aren't him and for purposes he didn't intend

Haha, wuh oh!

First indicator that Coil's got some pretty remarkable commercial ties considering he managed to sneak his own fucking Endbringer shelter in for private use and nobody noticed.

Also, god that's gotta be fucking terrifying

...I think like 99% of things that have come up in this arc are fucking terrifying if we're being real for a second but I'm gonna keep saying it

Seeing someone who treats you like dirt and have a happy life outside of treating you like dirt is a certain kind of agony. Also fuck Gladly on principle tbh.

Ah fuck

She could have so easily given into spite and let them all suffer and die. She was under no obligation beyond her own drive to be good, to be better, to be better than Gladly. And that's why she's among the best of these fucking people.

And so the bug girl, both creepy AND wet, goes in there and saves everyone left standing by shoving the Halberd up Levi's nonexistent asshole and baiting him back out the shelter

She's a bigger hero than so many of the others

This might be one of the most intensely and personally terrifying moments of all. Paralysis and drowning hand in hand. A slow and insidious kind of horror.

Rachel Lindt MVP

Well hey, cool of Rachel to be concerned though

They should be giving Bitch the key to the fucking city for this, honestly

This poor girl sacrificed the closest thing she has to family to buy even a fraction of extra time for this asscrack of a city

And then there's this fucking asshole

Imagine if God thought you, personally and specifically, fucking sucked. What a weird feeling that must be.

Skipping past the downturn in the fighting and the teleportation bc we have to get to the conclusion of the chapter

Taylor did more to save this whole city than any of these people can even imagine, and they manhandle her into a cot and cuff her broken-ass arm because y'can't be too careful with villains, can you

This is going to go so poorly

Current Thoughts

Taylor did more, in the moment-to-moment breakdown of tracking, fighting, and responding to Leviathan, than like 90% of the other capes in this whole fucking deal, and nobody will ever know the full extent of it. She might have honestly saved more lives than Armsmaster, because he was too busy fucking grandstanding in the moments leading up to his, ahaha, disarmament.

Skitter is a hero, idgaf what anyone says. She earned better than what she's about to be fucking put through, that's for sure.

[marymary-diva17]

A new friend means new adventures

Tuk x child reader

Childhood on pandora can be seen as something wonderful and fun, as they was always something new to be learned and see. There was something that all children had wanted a friend or friends to play with and grow up with, while they are living their lives on pandora. It was common to have good bonds with your clan members or others as well. What happens when a friendship it built between navi that are from two different places on Pandora, and during a time when everyone was going through good and bad times.

y/n " ......" you are playing with a wooden IIu toy that had been made for you in the water, when you heard a horn blown and soon look up to see a heard of ikran.

y/n " wow" you soon ran out of the water to see what was going on and to get a better look as well, so are the rest of you clan as well. As a crowd had began to form as everyone was looking at the new arrivals.

y/n " they are so beautiful and look very mighty as well"

???? " little sister" you soon felt someone place their hands on your shoulder making you soon looked up and see your older brothers.

y/n " rotxo ueyk did you see them did you see them"

rotox " yes we did little sister"

ueyk " why have they come here"

y/n " I want to know as well I have never seen a ikran up close until today ... where are babas they should see them as well"

rotxo " yes where are they today they will not wish to miss this that all"

ueky " they will see them soon" you are looking at the group of navi from the forest, but one of the members of the group a girl around your age looked at you. You had smiled and wave at her she did wave back as well to.

y/n " she seems nice" There was a convention held between the tonowari and ronal as they discussed with Jake and neytiri, in the end the new arrivals had been given permission to stay.

The next day

onsa " what the matter daughter" you are having morning meal with your family, but they all noticed you seem to be very serious about something.

y/n " nothing baba"

fizu " no something the matter with you we know it so tell us"

rotxo " it okay little sister you can tell us"

ueky " yes we are missing you in our morning meal talk"

y/n " well I plan to see if the youngest daughter of Jake sully will like to play with me today, tonowari did say we have to be helpful"

fizz " that a sweet idea sweetie you should do that you are always being so kind"

y/n " really"

onsa " yes and maybe you can help her learn the ways as well"

y/n" okay I'm going to ask her after meal time and see if she want to play today"

fizu " you are going to need to finish your meal before your leave all of you, I will not having anyone miss a meal in this home"

onsa " yes ma fizu we will make sure to eat the meal"

y/n " yes babas I will make sure to eat all my meal and no rushing" your brothers had laughed at your words. Once the meal was over and you clean up you soon ran off to find the girl from yesterday and it didn't take long when you saw her.

y/n " hello I'm y/n"

tuk " hello y/n I'm tuk"

y/n " hey tuk I saw you yesterday I wave to you if you remember"

tuk " oh yes I remember you now"

y/n " are you okay you seem sad"

tuk " I miss my home I wish we stayed and I feel alone"

y/n " I'm sorry tuk hey will you like to come play with me, so you will not feel alone"

tuk " you want to play with me"

y/n " yes if you wish to come and play"

tuk " I will love to play what do you all play here"

y/n " come on I will show you" you and tuk had ran off together as you showed her some of the games that had been played by the clan children, and it had gone very well you even join her lesson with her family as well helping tuk out when the older kids were busy. The two girls had formed a good friendship among each other.

days later

y/n " tuk" you had seen tuk and called her name getting her attention, she soon made her way towards you.

tuk " y/n"

y/n " hey do you want to learn how to ride you IIu better today it will be fun"

tuk " sure all the older kids had left"

y/n " yes they did but we can still have fun without them" tuk had nodded her head as the two of you had called your IIu and soon left together, swing in the territory of the clan.

????? " ahhh" you and tuk had heard someone screaming and loud splash sound, soon the both of you looked where it was coming a saw some come up from the surface.

tuk " that my dad let go see him"

y/n " okay" you and tuk on the IIu made your way towards Jake as he swam in the water.

tuk " dad"

Jake " hey sweetie did you see me mess up"

tuk " no but we heard it"

Jake " wait what do you mean we heard it"

tuk " i and y/n my new friend"

y/n " hello"

Jake " oh hello"

????? " y/n"

y/n " hey baba" onsa showed himself along with tonowari as they rode their strimwing looking at Jake.

Jake " oh so this is your daughter you were speaking about"

onsa " yes"

Jake " you are y/n tuk been telling me about you and so have my other kids, they said you and your brothers have been helping them"

y/n " yes it been fun to help them"

tonowari " what are you two doing today"

tuk " exploring"

y/n " along with having lesson as well"

tonowari " well ran along and have fun"

onsa " remember to stay in the territory of the clan without supervision"

y/n " we will come on tuk I will show you the sea otters here they are funny and cute"

tuk " really can I go dad"

Jake " sure you can but stay close to the village" the two girls had soon left together with bright smiles on their faces, as they rode off and soon dove into the water. They had found the sea otters and had a good time playing around in the water. Neytiri had come looking for tuk to bring her home but saw her with you having a good, time and decide to let tuk have some fun as it had been a long time since the youngest sully had smiled. It seems like you and tuk are having a great relationship that might strength the bond between both clans in the end.

[bridgetotheskyyy]

Sirenic - Kishibe

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, smut, stripping, strip tease, blowjobs

A/n: Day 31: Stripping! We're done, and we arrive at the end with a cute little Kishibe romp. Whew, this has been an ... interesting month for sure. But I'm finally done! (I've got more prompts I haven't finished but shhhh). I love Kishibe and I like to think he loves me back asdfgh -

Word count: 1.8k

Read on ao3

“Why would a devil be in a strip club?”

At the club’s entrance, you looked over your shoulder at Kishibe with a playful shrug. 

“I don’t know, Kish,” You said. “Maybe devils like to twerk their shit too? Don’t be so judgy.”

 You did a little dance, attracting unneeded attention to yourself with others in line. The bouncer unhooked the sling and allowed you inside where you sounded off with murmurs of, “No, he’s with me” and “Yes, he’s my father.” Kishibe refused the bait, though allowed himself an alleviating eye roll before following you. 

Upon entering, the mood shifted, blurred. The lights of the club flared blue and purple, washing over the gyrating attendants. He found you among them, winking back at him, and somehow having the decency to let him catch up to you.

“I’m glad you’re in such a cheerful mood, but,” Kishibe leaned into your ear, “if you call me your father again, I’ll kick your ass.”

You feigned shock, hand to your chest. “You’d never. You love my ass too much.”

“Try me.”

“All right, fine! I remember when you used to be fun!” You leaned into him with a chuckle. “Is daddy okay, though?”

He eyed you. “Depends on how you say it.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You motioned your head forward, smiling. “Let’s do this thing.”

He followed you — to where, he wasn’t sure — without question or word. Kishibe was thankful for the respite. He could only bear so much teasing, could only bear so much tugging on his heart. He had known you for so long now; you were impossible not to fall for. But you played games, and he was too old to delude himself into thinking you held any sincere interest in him.

Kishibe turned, glanced at the stage to where the strippers were, pole between their swinging legs. They twirled and beckoned to the crowd, and he couldn’t help but feel like this would be a more fitting career for you, with all your sirenic sensibilities.

“She’s beautiful.”

Your voice tore him from their trance. Kishibe raised his brows. 

“Didn’t know you swung that way,” he said. Inwardly, he sighed; why were the good ones always lesbians?

“I don’t have to,” You said. “I have eyes. So do you, apparently.”

You gave him a once-over and went on ahead. Kishibe tilted his head. Was that … jealousy? No. Nah. He was just overthinking it. Maybe you just thought better of him to be the kind of man distracted on the job.

You led Kishibe to where, he guessed, were the backrooms of the club, where men played double to be teased. You whispered something to a man in sunglasses and he went away, leaving the two of you alone in the dark VIP.

“Here’s the deal,” You said. “We can’t let the devil know we’re here; we’ve got it cornered. You asked why it’s in a place like this.” You shrugged. “I honestly don’t know why it’s been frequenting strip clubs, but if we scare it off we’ll never know.”

“Right,” Kishibe said.

“You’re gonna be bait,” You said. “I’m going to secure the perimeter. If this gets ugly, we’ve got to find a way to evacuate all these people. You good with that?”

“Sure,” Kishibe said.

“Signal to me if anything goes wrong,” You said. “Don’t wanna lose you any time soon.”

“Nothing will go wrong,” he waved you off. “Just go.”

You nodded and, without ceremony, disappeared through the curtains.

Kishibe settled on the velvet couch. He sighed. God, he was tired. He wanted to go back to the good ol’ days, when devils got off on fear and and depression and existential sadness. That was simple. Now they got off on nut, too? 

Kishibe waited for what could have been hours. He lit a cigarette and put a game face on, taking in the quiet of the —

The lights dimmed, leaving the room in a primordial darkness. The only light now came from behind the curtains. Kishibe perked. This is it.

The curtains were drawn back by beautiful, feminine hands. The crimson light grew stronger. But it was no devil.

Kishibe froze, cigarette falling from his fingers to singe the floor.

You … You were standing there. You were in a pretty, sparkling crimson halter dress, split down the middle to expose your tits and complemented with black pumps. You smiled at him with red lips. Red red red.

“Hey, Daddy,” You said.

“(Y/n).” Kishibe swallowed in a dry mouth. “What — What —“ God, he was a malfunctioning Macbook. 

You walked toward him, one pretty leg after the other. You stepped on his cigarette to put it out.

“Careful,” You said. “Don’t wanna start a fire.”

You bent a leg between his legs and leaned in, a hand on his chest. Kishibe could only blink as your lips grazed his in a teasing kiss. You broke away, smiled at him again, this one sweeter than the last.

���I’m starting to think I’ve been tricked,” he said.

You giggled. “Time for a little show, though it’s a shame you don’t have any money for me — questions after,” You added, pressing a finger to his lips. 

You lovingly traced the scare lining his face before drifting away. Music simmered in, a slow, sensual beat. You swayed your hips, the hem of your dress creeping over the fat of your ass. Kishibe inclined forward without thinking, dumbstruck as your hands threatened to lower the straps of your dress. You looked over your shoulder at him and smiled. 

“Want me to take it off?” Your voice was coquettish and right out of his daydreams.

From within, Kishibe trembled, but from without, he tried to maintain his cool. A losing battle, especially in this lava room. “Yes.”

You raised your brows in challenge. “Everything?”

“… Everything.”

You giggled and turned away. You elbowed out of your straps, the arching movement exposing the fine plain of your back to him. Kishibe exhaled to see your pretty, kissable skin under the light. Your dress pooled at your ankles, and with no bra, you were left in nothing but your panties.

“Fucking hell …”

You laughed, and it was more sincere this time than any other since surprising him. Slowly, you trailed hands down your hips, two fingers from each hand slipping into the elastic of your panties.

Yes yes yesyesyes —

You retrieved those fingers with a snap and bent forward, giving him an ample view of your ass. You straightened up and swayed. You waved arms over your head and shook your hips, your ass following your swift movements.

You were gonna kill him. 

His cock twitched as your fingers dipped in your band again, and this time you pulled, bringing them down your thighs, legs … 

You turned around, now totally nude for him. Perfect tits bounced as walked toward him, until you stopped and lowered to your knees. You crawled to him, and Kishibe watched you watch him with predator’s eyes. You prowled, every second a century. Your hands slipped up his knees, past his thighs, and bumped against the imprint of his hard cock. 

“That didn’t take long, now, did it?” You palmed his erection triumphantly.

“How did you do this?” Kishibe could hear his own labored breathing. “How and why —?”

“I know the guy who owns this place,” You said, fiddling with his zipper. “He owes me a few favors.”

A few —?

Kishibe stopped there, all the blood needed for his brain to form more questions rushing to his throbbing cock. You brought the zipper down and slipped a hand into his boxers. His cock sprung in your face, your hungry face.

“Can’t believe you’ve been hiding this all these years.” You kissed his tip, precum glossing your lipstick.

Kishibe caressed your cheek, helped you dip your head. What universe was this? Where you were naked in front of him and about to blow him? There was a different reality where you were the devil and he had fallen for your schemes and was too besotted and hard to care. But this was reality and you were — were really — no. No, he was not about to get emotional abouta blowjob.  Kishibe couldn’t find it in himself to care about the multiple realities, only this one, where you took him in your mouth. You left lipstick prints on his dick and his mind turned to mush just imagining how long they would stay there.

Kishibe held the back of your head, fisted into your hair, and you seemed to like the harsh grip of his hand; you hummed your approval and took more of him.

“Fuck …” Kishibe hung his head back. The vibrations of your mouth rang up his spine. He could feel you bob your head. He shivered against the perfect, wet velvet of your mouth. You were going to do it, you were really going to tear him to pieces. 

You removed him from your mouth to run your tongue along the length of him, all before inviting him back in. Kishibe looked down at you, at your cock-stuffed mouth, but your eyes were already on him, unwavering. He could feel himself jerk in your mouth at the mere sight. Kishibe tightened his grip on your hair but did not pull you forward; it was more satisfying to know you were more than willing to do all the work to get him off.

He feared his grip could draw blood as your bobs intensified, your cheeks hollowing to milk him. You popped him from your mouth, replaced the wetness of it with your hand and pumped ferociously.

“Cum, Daddy,” You murmured your plea against his foreskin. “Cum for me, c’mon —“

Kishibe groaned, his hot cum roping from his cockslit. It landed on your face, painted your lips white. You sucked on his tip, willingly sucking out the rest he had to offer. You collected what landed on your face and the sight of you eating his cum was enough to get him hard again. Once you were done, you raised and sat by him, snuggled into him with a peaceful smile. You even tucked him back into his boxers before facing him expectantly.

Kishibe blinked. “So … You like me.”

You huffed. “What was your first clue?”

Kishibe shrugged. He could feel the warmth in his face, but despite the flush, forced his face neutral. His eyes wandered your face.

You sighed after seconds of no answer. “Yes, Kishibe, I like you. I’ve always …” Even in the dark, cherry room, your blush was evident. “I thought this would be a fun way of confessing.”

He brought you closer, landed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I could get used to this. Reciprocity. It’s nice.”

You chuckled into his neck and he hoped you would do it forever. “You can.” You raised, hands traveling his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. “And you will.”

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 36-40 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

I didn’t need to spend so much screentime on Titania fight, yet it was a fun personal challenge. I’d never written/drawn a cohesive fight scene before. The scripted ingame instances don’t leave much room for imagination, I wanted to stay away from the fourth wall, and make up a more immersive scene. How do you even make it look mildly interesting? You’d think, well, characters will just flail at each other until one of them dies, right?

So yeah the biggest challenge was creating the ebb and flow. What affects Vivi’s actions? Why wouldn’t he just murder Titania like any other opponent, and be done with it? I threw in a generous amount of inner pov (that I previously used very sparingly) and some silly tricks. The stakes are high, yes, it’s a Lightwarden vs WoD encounter, but Titania still retains their playful personality above all else. Vivi's here just to do his job, but he also knows that he's dealing with a fae.

The msq makes Titania stand out among other wardens, I capitalized on that and hc’d that they’re important to Feo Ul, and, by proxy, to Vivi. That instantly provided some emotional stakes, and an answer to why he doesn’t rush to kill them out of the door.

Vivi enters the castle in episode 35, and mostly runs in circles, analyzing his enemy, and even falls victim to illusions. This could’ve been it for him, but I daresay it worried none of us because we’re just at the beginning of a story about this guy, he’s THE guy in this universe not for no reason, he’ll manage.

No deep meaning behind "grasshopper", I just thought it's a bizarrely precise descriptor of both Vivi's long legs and dragoon jumps, and it fits the natural theme of the fight.

Vivi didn’t go in unprepared.

This line will be relevant again in like, 5-7 years from now :’>

More under the cut~

He always, always doubts everything, especially when it comes to his level of power. Self-nerfing. A light (heh) case of an impostor syndrome.

Everyone loved the bonk for meme reasons, Vivi simply bought himself some time to cast.

The Rainbow Sparkles of Believing in Yourself! And of something else, perhaps. I’m planting quite a bit of stuff for future, this one should take a mere year or so to pay off.

I hope this pose’s enough of a hint that you shouldn't be taking episode 37 too seriously.

Yes, he used his spear to ~cast~. And took a sailormoon pose. This's his, monoclass dragoon’s, interpretation of what the caster magic’s probably like.

Offscreen, Titania comes to their senses and shrills “so you wanna play rough?!”, Vivi ignores them, concerned with only one thing: did he succeed? How did the test of his custom spell go?

It only worked out because the both of them are idiots.

I like to emphasize that Fragments isn’t about retelling the msq, or big epic battles, but here, where I actually put my heart into it, I feel like I managed to pull off at least one epic beat you’d typically see in an action-focused comic. Super proud of this panel ;w;

This’s a standard panel divider I’ve used multiple times before, but it couldn’t be more visually appropriate here :3c

So, to recap. Vivi asks Titania if they miss the night sky. They do. Vivi brings the night sky to them, and lo, something actually happens. I illustrated this “something” as one of their eyes getting sort of cleansed here. This story suddenly takes a mahou shoujo (shounen, heh) turn, I appreciate that it may cause some eyebrows to raise, but I think it’s okay to take creative liberties like this in a story themed around identity, agency, and believing in yourself. If Titania’s so strong as to retain a tiny bit of their old self, to cohesively partake in a simple convo, then why can’t they return, even if for a brief moment, given the proper assistance.

An appropriate reaction to the wild bs that’s going on. Imagine inventing the tale of WoD in the First, only to witness THIS.

As about Vivi, he can save a soul when he genuinely cares for it. We haven’t seen him do this before. He does it for Feo Ul explicitly, implicitly as a self-reflection. He’s projecting so hard after realizing that Titania looks like him. He wishes for them what he'd wish for himself: to rest, to be treated with care and consideration. They don't only look like him, they're also unfree, tortured by something. Empathy or not, this’s the kindest fight Vivi’s ever fought.

I’m iffy about the canon talents that come with the Echo. You can understand any sentient creature, okay. What happens when you speak, does the other party feel the difference between that soulspeak and their native tongue? Does it feel off? Does it offend? I incorporated my own misgivings into Vivi’s thoughts about his Echo. He doesn't use soulspeak here out of respect and concern that Titania might not react well to it, throwing the entire plan out of the window. Thus he memorized quite a bit of fae words before the fight. This’s his way to mark himself as one of their people, or at least to show that he truly cares.

STAY TUNED FOR EPISODE 41

Vivien Doubter Rell. Also yay first nod!

Embracing his new duty, and possibly giving Titania the hug they deserve.

Look HE’S OKAY. For now. I just thought the hiccup would be a cute way to acknowledge the terrible power he’s just absorbed. The canon cutscene moves on unblinking, but here’s different.

Bracing himself for confrontation. Things might go awry. Or might not. Vivi doesn't know. Worst case scenario: this’s the end of his sweet lil friendship with Feo Ul. Do they like him, or a Titania-lookalike in him?

“Oh bugger...” big pets come with big responsibilities, my dear Feo Ul.

Just to reinforce his fae-ness.

Vivi had full control in this fight. Analyzed the enemy, successfully tested some crazy tricks, managed to have a heart-to-heart that resulted in getting a permission to kill Titania not with violence, but with mercy. So much could’ve gone wrong, but just didn’t. Vivi’s used to this, even if he constantly doubts everything, this’s how it always goes. He’s being flung at tasks with abysmal odds, somehow he emerges victorious.

I just like this panel so much okay.

This arc may feel slow, but it gives depth to Vivi and Feo Ul's relationship, and seeing them together in later episodes will spark even more joy.

Even after a warm moment they’d just shared, Vivi’s still wary. I broke out an analysis of what external influence, pressure to change means to him, please read this post if you missed it. YEAH TAGS AS WELL.

His expression here is an attempt to downplay the anxiety and swing the odds in his favor. What if Feo Ul insists and throws a tantrum? What if he has to become Titania right now, and there’s no way around this? Let’s make puppy eyes just incase, maybe that helps.

One more personal fav panel. There’s SO MUCH in this look. They’re on a threshold, about to become something else on Vivi’s behalf. Because they love him so much. They’ve instantly become friends because they don’t want anything from each other, just the company. Feo Ul’s such a breath of fresh air for Vivi, a new hope in a new world, where he’s (comparatively) a nobody, where people still have the potential to love him for who he is as a person. This’s why our crimson pixie gets so much screentime.

Vivi really said XD

The next few episodes wrap up the Il Mheg arc, and focus on good vibes and celebration. ShB follows a rollercoaster formula where it makes you smile at something nice and sweet only to whack you in the face right after, and I’m trying to do the same :3c

As always, thanks for reading~

[sky-kiss]

Okay hear me out. This isn't exactly a request unless...👀

But the Raphael x Tav dynamic where he is the only one who can poke fun or give them a hard time is eating my brain.

Like "I can call them a vapid little fool, but if anyone else does the exact same thing it's hellfire and brimstone for them. For a hundred years."

He'd call it affection if it was in his vocabulary.

A/n: This is short, but I’ve been doing a lot of Carrot!Raph and not a lot of Stick!Raph. Some gore and torture ahead. XD Also I don't think this is what you wanted RIP.

__________

“All this caterwauling! You should really feel blessed, little lamb! I rarely sully my hands these days.” Raphael folded his hands at the small of his back. Isolated from the scene around him, the devil would have appeared perfectly genteel: his doublet remained pressed, hair immaculate. Only the eyes were different, violently bright in the prison’s omnipresent gloom. 

Souls and prisoners howled around them, some in agony, some in a desperate attempt to catch the Master’s attention. He didn’t hear; only his guest mattered. 

The cambion stopped, lingering just outside their field of vision. They’d finally stopped screaming, lapsing into hiccuping sobs, slumped in on themselves. Not his finest work, he’d be the first to admit, but the rage had come upon him too abruptly for a more cerebral punishment. He reached out, fisting his hand in the sweaty mass of their hair, and tugged their head back. Terror flooded their eyes; their mouth tried to curl back in horror but failed to manage it. His claws left the cheek a ruin of tissue. He tapped a nail against the wound. They knew better than to twitch away. 

“Remind me why I’m entertaining you, little one.” 

It took three attempts before they could finally choke the word out: “Duchess.” 

“Ah, yes. How forgetful! You will have to forgive the indiscretion.” Raphael stepped closer. He’d made quite a mess, honestly. Bones jutted from strange, haphazard angles; he’d removed a few in a fit of pique. He didn’t believe they were essential, but it was always so difficult to tell with mortals. He yanked, and the little thing screamed their anguish. “And what was it you said? Be specific; your life depends on it.” 

“W…whore. Whore queen. Raph…” they winced. The mouth couldn't form the words, an ever-increasing disconnect between the body and brain as blood loss took its toll. “Your cunt.” 

“An inelegant summation.” He wiped his hand on the thing’s shoulders, glancing across the chamber. “Care to vouch for them, duchess?” 

His pet chuckled. What a sight! His finest treasure, her gown set with gems, gold chains hanging about her horns. He had created art with her. “It is they say, my duke.” 

“And that bodes well for you, little one.” Raphael knelt beside them, stroking hair back from their face. They turned their face into the motion, an awful pantomime of intimacy. “Though…perhaps not as well as you might have hoped. I guard my treasures so zealously, and she is first among them. You understand, don’t you?” 

They nodded, miserable. 

“But I am not without mercy. Should you apologize to her…we could start fresh. Would you like that, little one?” He pitched his voice lower, speaking as if in conspiracy. Two friends, ready to make peace. They released a shuddering breath and nodded. Raphael held out his arm to his duchess. She came to him with vibrant eyes and a smile, a pretty reflection of all he’d accomplished. His conquest, his might, his pretty love. “Begin, wretch.” 

“Beg…beg forgiveness, dutchess. Please…gods, please, forgive us…” 

His duchess hummed. “You are forgiven, wretch.” And to Raphael, “My love, must you play with your food? Are you nearly finished?” 

“Very nearly, little mouse. First,” he withdrew a vial from his doublet, a draught of restorative waters. He held it to his guest's lips. Like magic, flesh mended itself! Wounds shrunk and disappeared! In a matter of moments, they were whole once more.

“Merciful King, kind lord,” they sobbed, crawling towards him. The wretch painted the toe of his boot with kisses. “Never again. Not a word against you or the lady will pass my lips.” 

“No. I imagine not.” He nudged their ribs with his boots. “Alas, our fresh start will have to wait. My duchess requires me.” The imps crawled forward, hungry and eager. “I leave you in my staff’s ever-capable hands.”