#yes i’m flexing

[chlorinecake]

This is the Tumblr hug 🫂🤍 Please pass it on to 5 mutuals to brighten someone’s day!

(hello hello my jagi)

AHHHH hi hi MY LOVESICK HUBBY! The middle pic is of me not being able to get enough of u hehe 🤭…🌠 It’s actually crazy how in love we r w each other ~~

[s0ftd3m0n]

Mine would still be #1

All of the “#1 Dad” mugs in the world change to show the actual ranking of Dads suddenly.

[fwrails]

i wish tumblr had spaces like twitter like i wna host a big party with all of my moots !!!

[sgartiste]

🎵 On the fifth day of Cross-mas, some weirdo gave to me~

FIIIIIIIVE KUNG-FU SEEEEEALS~

Four matching shirts~

Three “expies”~

Two Unluckies~

And your favorite BROB~ 🎵

[showtoonzfan]

Reminder to all the Helluva fans who think that we’re being “impatient” and that Millie will get her big epic moment to shine, just know that from what we’ve seen, all Viv and Adam could come up with regarding her is that she apparently feels like she’s holding Moxxie back. That’s it. So not only is it a character insecurity that makes no sense since she’s done nothing but help Moxxie and be the muscle, but it’s once again….attached to Moxxie, and not her as a character on her own. Bravo Viv. 💀

[lilworms]

I have the giggles

[housewifebuck]

does my new hardware go with my outfit

[froggychair05]

Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!

Thank you, dear.

[send-me-a-puffalope]

old lady phone case and baby face. How old are you?

-🐝

HEY!! IT BALANCES OUT!! I pull out the southern white lady’s darling and love with my wet doe eyes, how do you respond (it’s worked surprisingly well, had 3 people ask me out in the past 3 years. i’ll take that streak)

[buni10]

back when i met marcelo and sergio ramos 🤭(and marcelo signed my shirt and ramos signed my football 😋)

[jackobbit]

[ID: A cropped screenshot of JackO’bbit’s follower count, which sits at ‘123’. /End ID]

Obligatory funny number post!

[alistonjdrake]

There’s really not enough evidence to suggest that whipping boys were actually used as deterrents for misbehaving princes but I want Oswald in no importance to have one

[gentle-giant-swag]

Edit, uh he told me to talk to a women (I got a part time job where most people I work with are like teenage girls (including me). So I told him to touch grass

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Someone asked me what my favorite genre of book is and I said “I like fantasy and romance” and when they asked things like “what are you reading now?” And mentioned a few authors it’s like, how do I explain that at the moment I’m reading textbooks and fanfiction?

[totallynottinsel]

I’M LITERALLY A.

Over the last 3 years, I’ve drawn 250+ pages of my webcomic but I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve drawn less than 25 drawings of my characters outside of that…

[classyrbf]

dad bod!toji who’s still the big, muscular man he is but you can tell he’s gotten older and his metabolism has slowed down a little bit. He’s gotten chubbier in his arms, thighs, tummy. Not to mention, he’s started to gray and grow stubble on his face, the perfect salt and pepper mix. Toji says he hates it, always moaning and groaning about needing to hit the gym but you…? You fucking love it. It takes everything in you not to ravish his right then and there, wanting to pounce on him every second of the day. You’re always kissing up on him, grabbing on him, dragging him to the laundry room while the kids watching tv so you could have a quickie. And he’s so confused on where all this extra energy and affection has sprouted from, but he loves it. You’re always so eager for him, fucking your self on his cock, him waking up to you kissing his neck and stroking his dick, dropping to your knees and giving him head without his asking. He wonders what he’s done to deserve all of it.

He’s standing in the mirror one late night with his shirt off, examining just how chubby he’s gotten. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little insecure, thinking how gorgeous you are and how you shouldn’t settle for him. “I’m losing myself,” he grumbles. “What’s going on, baby?” You walk in the room, a smile immediately on your face when you see his shirt is off, definitely a sight to see. “I need to head to the gym is what’s going on.” He flexes his muscles in the mirror. You giggle and walk up behind him, snaking your arms around his waist. “I think you look so handsome with a little weight on you,” you whisper in his ear. “Does something to me.” You nibble on his ear before trailing kisses along his jaw, and that’s when Toji realizes why you’ve been so affectionate with him, like a lightbulb going off in his head.

Just mere minutes later, you’re riding him like your life depends on it, slamming your hips down on his, creating a sticky mess between you two. “S-shit,” he pants, “slow down, mama—fuck!” His bruising grips on your hips only tighten the faster you ride him. Your pussy sucks him in with each thrust, clenching around his throbbing cock. “I can’t…you get so me so hot and bothered, baby.” You grin, running your hands down his chest.

He swears he could cum right then and there, with the way you were riding him and that look in your eye, he was ready to give you another kid. And now you were kissing his neck, moaning and whimpering in his ear. “You’re so perfect, Toji,” you mewl. “Fuck me.” His eyes roll back before fluttering shut. “Keep going, yes, yes, just like that, mama. You’re gonna make me fucking cum,” he groans. You keep that same rhythm, squeezing your pussy around him, milking him. He suddenly wraps his arms around you, holding you in place as he thrusts up into you, the sound of skin on skin filling the room. “Ah, fuck!” You cry out, your cum dripping down his shaft. His thrusts grow sloppier and harder and next thing you know he’s filling you up, pushing his cum deeper inside of you with slow thrusts. Laughter erupts from your chest as you catch your breath, kissing him slowly and passionately.

“Mmm, goddamn,” he huffs, pulling you to his chest. “Now I finally know why you’re so goddamn horny all the time,” he chuckles. You blink up at him with a small smirk. “Can you blame me?” You trace patterns on his skin. He can see the look in your eye, that hungry stare you’re giving him, wanting more. “What are you thinking about, hm?” He caresses your cheek. “Oh nothing…just how badly I wanna give you some head right now, but I’ll wait.”