#yep voice is perfect live as one would expect

[imustbeamermaidrango]

I got to see Chino Moreno sing live. That is all.

[punkshort]

i know who you are | 4. the others

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Winter begins to wrap its arms around Jackson, filling the town with snow and a nasty flu. Joel takes you to meet Ben and Lisa, and you finally discover more about your past.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, amnesia, sad!joel, pining, sexual tension, slow burn, jealousy

WC: 9K

Series Masterlist

You looked happy.

Ever since you began working at the infirmary, you seemed happier. Like you were grateful to have a purpose. A way to contribute. To give back to the community that supported you.

You smiled more and you didn't shy away from him as much as you used to and it gave Joel hope. Every time you saw him and greeted him with a smile or said goodbye with a squeeze of his shoulder, it made his heart flutter. It's been weeks. Months, technically. But he was making some progress.

It was the first snowfall of the season and it put you in an even better mood than usual. Your face was pressed up against the window as he tended to the fire behind you, and you watched as the big, fluffy flakes of snow fell from the sky, coating Jackson in a perfect blanket of pure white.

"I didn't get much snow where I'm from," you told him over your shoulder. He knew that already, but he humored you.

"That so?"

"Mhmm. When I was a kid, though, we got hit with this freak storm. No one knew what to do. No one owned shovels or snow blowers or any of that, so we were all stuck inside our houses until the storm ended and everything melted," you said, turning away from the window so you could curl up on the couch, then pausing for a moment before tilting your head to the side. "Did I tell you this already?"

Yes, he thought, but he shook his head, eager for you to continue. He just loved hearing you talk, no matter what you said. Besides, if you were expected to rebuild your relationship, sharing your past would naturally be part of that, so he encouraged you to tell stories, even if he's heard them before.

"So, what happened?" he asked, putting the poker back in the stand and getting up with a groan, his knees cracking a bit before he settled in on the other end of the couch.

"Well, the power went out," you said, and he could hear the excitement in your voice, delighted to be telling him something you thought he didn't already know, and it made his heart swell. "So we didn't have any heat or any way to cook our food. We set up camping tents in the middle of our living room and slept in there with, like, five blankets each. And we lived off pop-tarts and granola bars and peanut butter sandwiches for two days til the power came back on."

"Two days?" Joel repeated, and you nodded.

"Yeah, but it was fun. As a kid, you know? I'm sure my parents were freaking out but me and Matty were excited. We played board games and ate by candlelight and told ghost stories," you said wistfully, your eyes looking miles away. "We talked about that for years," you finished softly, and Joel smiled.

"I didn't get much snow where I'm from, either," he told you, and your eyes met his again.

"Texas, right?" and he nodded. "Did you live there your whole life?"

Something deep inside him sparked with a mix of nerves and excitement. It felt like you were meeting all over again, and while it was under less than ideal circumstances, he couldn't help but feel those butterflies you feel when you first meet someone new.

"Yep, my whole life. Tommy, too, except for when he was in the army."

"Were you in the army?" you asked, but he quickly shook his head.

"Nah. Wasn't my scene. Besides, I had Sarah."

"Oh, right," you said, feeling stupid for asking. You dropped your attention to your hands, which were twisted in your lap, as you thought about your next question.

"How old was she?" you asked quietly, still looking down and avoiding his gaze, but you heard him take a deep breath.

"She was twelve when she died," he told you, his words hanging heavy in the air and he could see the conflict in your face as you tried to figure out a way to learn more about him without reopening old wounds. "It's okay, I don't mind talkin' 'bout her."

"Did we used to talk about her?" you asked him curiously, finally looking up to meet his gaze.

He shrugged. "Sometimes. But not at first. Still hurt too much back then, y'know?"

"Yeah," you breathed, your mind now drifting to thoughts of your own family. Were you together when they died? Did you see it? If so, was it some sort of sick twist of luck that you now couldn't remember?

"What was your favorite thing to do together?" you asked, watching as his eyes found a fixed point on the wall while he considered your question.

"My favorite thing was hiking. Hers was goin' to the movies or the mall, most likely," he said with a soft chuckle. "I didn't mind, though. I was just happy she still wanted to be seen with her old man at that age. Makes me wonder if she felt bad for me or somethin'."

You furrowed your brow, confused. "Why would she feel bad for you?"

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "I didn't date much. Had a few poker buddies but I mostly spent my time with Tommy. Just worked so hard back then that I was too tired to do much else."

"And you were a contractor?" you asked, trying to remember the small pieces of information you picked up over the last two months. He nodded.

"Yeah, me and Tommy had our own business. That was a lifetime ago. Can't imagine doin' that kind of work now, not with my back," he said with a smile.

Joel's eyes flicked to the window over your shoulder, watching as the snow continued to come down, the window panes growing foggy in the corners. "Looks like we ain't goin' anywhere for a while," he said, changing the subject. You followed his gaze and nodded.

"What about Ellie? Is she okay back there?"

"Yeah, she'll be alright. She could make it up to the house if she got too cold," he assured you.

So, you were essentially snowed in. All alone.

You could feel his eyes on you as you watched the fire and you wondered if he was thinking about an alternate reality. One where you didn't have an accident. Where you remembered everything. One where you loved him the way he so obviously loved you, and what you might be doing differently in that very moment. You had a feeling your hunch was correct because he stretched his arm across the back of the couch and subtly inched a little closer towards you, the worn cushions dipping from his weight and causing your leg to bob.

Your body stiffened and your heart suddenly felt like it was being crushed in your throat. He was so patient, you had to give him credit. It couldn't be easy for him, and although you could finally admit to yourself that you found him attractive, you still didn't think you trusted him enough to take things any further. Not yet. Not when you still had so many questions. Your eyes drifted up to meet his and as you expected, he was watching you closely. Carefully. Trying to read you the same way you were trying to read him. The problem was, every time he looked at you that way, with his eyes all soft and filled with adoration, you could only think about what he was hiding. What did he lie about? And why was he so hesitant for you to meet Ben and Lisa?

Joel leaned in a fraction and his fingers tightened their hold on the back of the couch. He wanted to kiss you. He's wanted to kiss you ever since that day in the field right before that clicker ruined the moment. And with the soft glow from the fire and the snow falling silently outside, it felt like the perfect moment. He was terrified of making things worse after he finally felt like he made some progress, but it was killing him. He missed having you so fucking much, sometimes it felt like it actually caused him physical pain. Like his chest would explode one day.

He swallowed nervously and inched a little closer and you panicked. Just as he was about to say something, you cut him off.

"Do you wanna play a board game?"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and you gave him a nervous smile.

"Sure," he replied, watching as you jumped off the couch to look through the games stacked on the bookcase. He groaned inwardly and rubbed his chin when you bent over and he had to force himself to look away before his body reacted, praying you didn't pick Twister.

It took two days but the snow finally stopped. Ellie did eventually make her way to the house by the second day, simply because she was bored, so you helped Joel make a vegetable soup while Ellie set up the Monopoly board in the living room. You didn't have all the pieces, but you had enough, and what you didn't have you supplemented with buttons.

You didn't realize it; too caught up in cooking and the joy it used to bring you, but you and Joel worked together seamlessly in the kitchen. He chopped up zucchini while you diced onion and watched the pot on the stove that was cooking up noodles, slipping past each other to get to the sink and the cupboards and it all just felt so fucking normal that it made his chest ache. He wanted to draw your attention to it. He wanted to take you by the shoulders and say See? See how good we are together? But he didn't. He bit his tongue and bided his time until you came to that conclusion on your own, just like the first time.

But the first time was different. At least back then, you showed him affection. You kissed him and held him and shared your body with him and although you didn't want much more, not at first, eventually you did. And those moments in his bed were enough to hold him over until you opened your eyes and saw what was right in front of you.

He was selfish. He knew it was wrong to want you like that right now, but he wanted all of you, not just physically. He yearned to know what was going on behind your eyes, what you were thinking and feeling. What you thought of him. But if you would maybe just let yourself fall asleep in his arms on the couch while you read in front of the fire, or let him kiss you, just once, then maybe you would see it again. Feel it again.

"What the hell does a purple button mean?" you asked with a giggle, holding up the smooth, round plastic between your fingers.

"It's a hotel, duh!" Ellie said, grinning and rolling her eyes.

"Wait, why am I goin' to jail?"

"You rolled doubles three times in a row!" you told him, and you and Ellie bent over laughing at the confused expression on his face.

He made a disgruntled noise and moved his token to the corner of the board as he watched you and Ellie giggling and wiping tears from your eyes and fuck, it was nice. In another world, he would have made some joke about you being the one in handcuffs and maybe later he would have followed through with it and tied your wrists to the headboard, burying his face between your thighs until you couldn't take it anymore.

But instead, he just watched two of the people he loved most in the world have fun, the orange glow from the fire flickering over your smiling faces while the snow finally came to a stop outside.

Ellie had trekked back to the garage once the game was over. It was late, you looked tired, but he still suggested putting a movie on. He wasn't ready to let you go. He hated going to bed all alone. You seemed to consider his offer for a moment before you shook your head and yawned, and although he knew that would likely be your answer, he still felt his heart sink.

He walked you to your bedroom and as he was about to say goodnight, hoping to minimize the hurt by making it quick, you did something that surprised him. You pulled him into a hug, standing on your tiptoes, your chin resting on his shoulder with your arms wrapped around his neck, body pressed firmly against his and just as quickly as it happened, you pulled away. Joel was so stunned he wasn't sure he hugged you back, even though he stood cemented to the floor well after you went to bed, replaying the hug over and over, all he could remember was how he felt. And he went to bed that night with renewed hope blooming in his chest. Maybe you were finally coming around.

So the next morning when you asked him out of the blue if you could visit Ben and Lisa once the streets cleared of snow, he had a hard time finding a reason to say no. He should have known you wouldn't let it go, but he did hold out hope that maybe you moved on from the idea since it had been a few weeks when you last mentioned them.

He agreed, of course, not wanting to ruin the delicate foundation of your relationship. Besides, he already decided he would go with you and make sure they didn't tell you anything you weren't ready to hear.

The snow had melted enough where the road was visible again, but the snowbanks still piled high around the buildings and houses and you felt strangely nervous as you followed Joel down the street. He had finally agreed to take you to meet Ben and Lisa, and while you were grateful he didn't have the reaction he had the first time you mentioned them, you still wondered what caused that outburst.

You tried to convince yourself that maybe he was just tired and cranky that day, having just gotten back from patrol for the fourth day in a row. But something still felt... off.

"Wow, when Ellie said they lived on the outskirts, she wasn't kidding," you said, realizing you were reaching an edge of Jackson you had yet to explore.

"Yeah, they tend to keep to themselves," he replied without further explanation. He didn't seem agitated, but he definitely wasn't happy about going to see them. He seemed more quiet and subdued than usual.

Finally, you arrived at a quaint looking cottage tucked back from the road a ways. Like Ellie had said, it was small, but it looked cozy. You could see the smoke pluming from the chimney and you couldn't wait to warm up again.

There was no porch. Just a small roof over the front door and a folding chair that looked like it had seen better days. He knocked firmly on the door and after a moment, you heard light shuffling on the other side.

The door cracked open and you were greeted by a short woman around your age with dull, brown hair and bright green eyes. She saw Joel first and, like most people in town, she hesitated. But then she noticed you next to him and her expression changed. A wide smile stretched across her face and she said your name softly, then held her arms out for a hug.

"It's so good to see you," she said in your ear, giving you a tight squeeze before turning around and ushering you both inside. "Come in, come in, it's freezing out there. Ben! You'll never guess who's here!"

You both stepped inside and as you were slipping off your outerwear, you glanced around the small space. It was tight, but it was filled with warmth. The living room had two small, mismatched loveseats on either side of the stone fireplace. Two large bookshelves that were filled with so many books that the shelves were sagging stood on either side of the fire, and curiously you didn't notice a television anywhere in the room.

You heard a man's deep voice behind you say your name and you jumped in surprise. Turning around, you were pulled into another hug by who you could only assume was Ben. He was tall - taller than Joel - and you wondered how on earth such a small house could fit such a large man. He stepped away, his dark eyes glittering with his hands still on your shoulders, taking in your appearance as if you haven't seen them in years.

Maybe you haven't.

You were so focused on absorbing every little detail about the house and its residents that you didn't notice Joel's body stiffen next to you, his eyes glued to Ben's hands. And while Lisa seemed to have the same reaction to Joel that everyone else in town did, Ben, on the other hand, did not seem phased by his presence. In fact, he appeared pleased to see him. Once he dropped his hands from your shoulders, he stretched out a lanky arm and shook Joel's hand, giving him a kind smile which Joel had a hard time returning.

"What a wonderful surprise. Come, let's sit. Do you want coffee or tea?" Ben asked, his eyes drifting between you and Joel. You both shook your heads and Ben smiled warmly at you once again. Even though the living room was just a few feet away from the front door, Ben still rested his hand on your shoulder and guided you to one of the loveseats as if you might lose your way, only dropping his hold on you when he sat down across from you on the other one.

Joel eased himself down on the couch beside you, the space so small that he had no choice but to rest his leg against yours, and Lisa went to join Ben, the crackling fire between both loveseats warming you up right away.

"We heard you had an accident. How are you feeling?" Lisa asked, her voice so small and gentle compared to Ben's booming baritone.

"Better, thanks. But it's kind of why I'm here," you said, glancing over at Joel nervously, but he was staring silently at Ben, who still seemed unaffected.

Lisa tilted her head to the side and wrapped a hand around Ben's forearm, leaning into him a bit as she got more comfortable on the couch. You noticed for the first time a basket on the floor next to her feet filled with different colored yarn and half knitted projects tucked inside. "Oh?" she asked, then it seemed to dawn on her. "Oh! Is it... is it true? Do you really have memory loss?"

When you nodded, you noticed the flicker of pity across both their faces as they exchanged a somber look.

"I can only remember my life before the outbreak. My mom, dad and brother. I don't even remember what happened or how they died or how I managed to survive," you began, feeling yourself growing a little emotional. Joel must have sensed it in your tone because he squeezed your knee reassuringly, and when you glanced over at him, he had finally torn his eyes away from Ben to look at you with concern.

"It's been hard," Joel said, finally speaking up, addressing Ben and Lisa. "Lots of confusion, lots of missin' pieces. But she kept a journal. Turns out, she wrote 'bout you two, so that's why we're here," he finished, narrowing his eyes a bit at them.

"You wrote about us? How sweet," Ben said cheerily, running a hand through his dark blonde curls.

"Yes, but-"

"It wasn't anythin' that detailed," Joel said quickly, and you frowned at him. He sat back into the sofa and glanced over at you. "Right?"

"Yeah," you said slowly, dragging your eyes away from Joel and back to your hosts. "Just that we went fishing and it felt like old times," you continued, and they both smiled at the memory. The only sound in the room was the fire next to you, the wood popping loudly under the flames as you weighed your next question. "So I was hoping you might help tell me about myself before we arrived in Jackson. Is that... okay?"

Lisa shifted in her seat, a small smile still twitching at her lips as she gazed up at Ben, waiting for him to reply. He hesitated a moment and you thought you saw his eyes flicker to Joel before responding.

"Of course," Ben said, slapping the tops of his thighs, jostling loose Lisa's grip on his arm. He quickly picked her hand back up and brought her knuckles to his lips for a quick kiss, but your eyes were drawn to the unfamiliar symbol tattooed on the inside of her wrist, only made visible when Ben picked up her arm and her sleeve hung down.

"Can you tell me about when we first met?" you asked, figuring you should start at the beginning.

"Oh, what was it? Six or eight months after the outbreak, yeah?" Ben wondered aloud, looking to Lisa to confirm. She nodded and scratched her neck.

"Sounds about right."

You allowed yourself to feel a glimmer of excitement. There were two people right in front of you that could help fill in the blanks for the first five years after the outbreak, and you couldn't wait to hear more.

"We met in the Atlanta QZ," he began, but you quickly stopped him.

"QZ?"

"Quarantine Zone. All the major cities had 'em. Was meant to keep people safe from infected but the military ran most of 'em into the ground," Joel explained. "Treated people like cattle. Strict curfews. Barely enough rations to survive."

"It was awful," Lisa added solemnly.

"Was I alone?" you asked them, and Ben nodded. "Did I tell you anything about my family? How they died?"

Their eyes shifted to Joel for a moment before looking at one another.

"I thought you had said the infected got your mom on the first day. But your dad and brother..." Ben trailed off, looking down at his hands sadly. "They got caught out after curfew. It happened before we got there. They... were punished."

You frowned a little, looking to Joel to help shed some light on what Ben meant, but he was staring down at his feet.

"Punished?" you squeaked as your heart began to pound faster in your chest.

"Punishment for bein' out after curfew was death," Joel spoke up softly next to you.

You looked at all three of them, your eyes wide in disbelief. "Death? The military were killing people?"

"It was horrible. It's why we escaped," Lisa replied with tears in her eyes.

"Okay, then what?" you pressed, trying not to dwell too long on the thought of your father and brother being murdered by the very people who were supposed to protect them.

"After we escaped?" Ben clarified, and you nodded. He cleared his throat and averted his gaze. "We survived. Did what we had to do."

There it was again. Did what we had to do. The same thing Joel said when you brought up Lisa and Ben the first time.

You waited for him to elaborate but when it became apparent Ben had finished talking, you pushed him further. "Like what? What does that mean?"

"We laid low. Found some secluded spots in the wilderness and stuck it out for as long as we could," Lisa said, her eyes casually drifting between the two men. You looked at Joel, who was holding a steady glare at Ben and Lisa, but otherwise he was perfectly silent.

"For five years we just laid low? In the woods? The three of us?" you asked, and they could tell you knew they weren't telling you the whole truth. "What aren't you telling me? Did we do something bad? Did something happen?"

Joel shifted in his seat next to you but you kept your eyes pinned on Lisa and Ben, trying to read the expressions on their faces.

Ben was the first to fold. He dragged his eyes up to meet yours and gave you a half smile and shrug. "Yeah. I mean, everyone did bad things one time or another. It's impossible not to-"

"Like what?" you demanded. You could feel your anger building up now. "I'm not a child. Just tell me."

Ben sighed and looked at Joel once again, and this time you had enough.

"Why do you keep looking at him?"

Ben's eyes snapped back to you and he forced out a small chuckle, trying in vain to diffuse the tension in the room.

"You're our guests, so I'm looking at you both."

You weren't going to argue with him when it was clear he was looking at Joel for direction on what to say. It all made sense now. No wonder Joel didn't fight you on coming to visit them. He had planned all along to control the conversation and keep you in the dark and something inside you snapped.

Standing up from the couch suddenly, you looked down at Ben and Lisa, anger brimming in your eyes.

"Thanks," you spat, heading towards the front door. "Sorry to bother you both."

"It's no bother," Lisa said, her voice wavering as she followed you to the door. "Really. Stop by any time, it was nice to see you."

You scoffed and resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you shoved your boots and coat back on, doing your best to finish before Joel so you could get a head start back home.

Flinging open the door without another word, you took a deep breath and stormed down the street, the chilly winter air filling your lungs, trying to cool your anger from the inside out. But then you heard Joel's heavy footsteps crunching in the snow, hurrying to catch up to you, and your rage peaked again.

"You alright?" he asked when he found his place back by your side.

"No, I'm not alright," you seethed, staring straight ahead with your arms wrapped around your middle. "What was that back there?"

"What'dya mean?"

You skidded to a stop and glared at him, his cheeks pink from the cold and his chest rising and falling a little quicker than usual.

"You know what I mean. I'm not stupid, Joel. What don't you want me to know?"

He stared at you, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out how to respond.

"I'm not-"

"Don't bullshit me!" you yelled, and when you remembered you were in the middle of the street, you lowered your voice. "They were clearly scared of you. You didn't want them to tell me something. It was so obvious, Joel! I hit my head but I'm not fucking blind."

"I didn't ask them to say or not say anythin'," he said truthfully.

You stared at one another, both watching as your exhale mixed together, little clouds swirling in between you before rising above your heads and disappearing, each waiting for the other to break first.

"Maybe I should move out," you finally said, voice filled with sadness. His face fell instantly.

"Why?"

"You know why. I don't think I can trust you. How can I, when I can't even get a simple answer out of you?" What did he lie about?

If you had stabbed him in the chest, it would have hurt less. His gaze fell to the ground and he felt his throat begin to constrict. He had to do something. He couldn't lose you. So he told you a half truth.

"You and Ben used to be a thing," he said, and your jaw dropped in surprise.

"What?"

He clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes. "Before you came to Jackson. You and him were a couple."

You looked away from him, taking a minute to wrap your mind around what he just told you. You supposed it would make sense. It would explain why Joel was so weird about bringing you to see them. Maybe you misread the tension in the room. Maybe the tension was about something else entirely.

"That's why you were acting so strange? That's why you were staring him down?" you asked. His answer was still difficult to believe. It explained Joel's behavior, but it didn't explain what bad things you had done and why nobody seemed willing to tell you what they were.

He shrugged and rubbed his hands together. "Can we talk about this at home? I'm freezin'," he said.

The walk afforded you more time to think now that you had this new piece of the puzzle. Ben did seem like your type: he was handsome and kind, but if you and Ben were together in the past, where did that leave Lisa? They were clearly an item now. Wouldn't that have made for a strange relationship between the three of you? Perhaps that's why you didn't see them often.

Joel let you stew in silence for the walk home, fucking praying what he told you would be enough to keep you from following through with your threat. Why did it feel like every time he made some progress with you, something happened that fucked everything up?

Maybe he should have just let them tell you the whole truth.

No, that would have been bad. You didn't trust him enough yet. You said it yourself. And if you were willing to move out over something like this, you certainly would never speak to him again if you knew the whole story.

He needed to earn your trust first but it was so fucking hard when you wouldn't let him in. When you found out the truth the first time, you were already months into a relationship with him. You were already sleeping together, and while it didn't evolve into anything more until later, it still helped build your trust in him when he finally told you the truth.

He didn't have that with you now, and for the first time he began to doubt his ability to make you fall in love with him again.

You huddled in front of the fire after the long walk home, the two of you remaining silent the entire way. Joel was in the kitchen, most likely avoiding you and your questions while you warmed up. You weren't even going to bother bringing up the topic again, but Joel surprised you by doing it himself.

"I'm sorry. 'Bout earlier," he said from the entryway. You turned from the fire to look at him. He looked worried. His eyes were wide and his brow was knit while his hands fidgeted at his sides.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" you asked, and he sighed.

"Dunno. Guess I was hopin' you'd let it go or change your mind," he said, ticking his jaw to the side.

"What would it have even mattered? I don't remember him, I don't remember what we had together. I certainly don't have feelings for him," you told him, sitting down on the couch and tucking your legs underneath you.

He looked around the room nervously as you waited for an answer that wasn't coming.

You sighed and rubbed your eyes. "If this is going to work, you need to be honest with me-"

"I was scared, alright?" he said abruptly. You watched him hang his head between his shoulders and take a deep breath before collapsing into the arm chair next to the couch. "I was scared you'd maybe remember him or..." he trailed off, finding it difficult to put into words what he was thinking. And although it wasn't the whole truth, it still was the truth. He was afraid this version of you would want someone like Ben and not like him.

He was afraid of losing you.

You seemed to understand because you didn't ask him to finish his thought. Instead, since he was opening up, you asked him something else that was bothering you.

"What did I do?"

He looked at you curiously, not following at first until you continued.

"Ben said I did bad things. We all did bad things to survive. What did he mean?"

Joel swallowed and thought about his answer for a moment. You sighed, growing impatient.

"You can't keep the truth from me forever. I'll find out one day, just tell -"

"You killed people," he told you, and you completely lost your train of thought. You searched his face as all of the air rushed out of your lungs, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air.

"I killed people?" you repeated, your voice barely a whisper, and he nodded slowly. You felt the tears begin to well up in your eyes but you blinked them away. What kind of monster did you become?

"Innocent people?"

"Depends on who you ask," he said right away, almost as if he expected that question.

"What does that mean?"

He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully as he stared into the fire. "I told you. Everyone did what they had to do in order to survive. I know it's hard for you to understand what it was like, but there were a lot of bad people out there. A lot of bad fuckin' people. The military was outta control. There were revolutions and raiders and slavers." He paused and sniffed a bit, continuing to stare into the flames while you hung on his every word. "When I say you killed people... it ain't black and white. I killed people, too. Alotta people. When the whole goddamn world ends and all you got left is one or two people you care 'bout, you'll do whatever you gotta do to protect 'em. D'you understand?" he asked, finally dragging his eyes up to look at you.

You blinked, thinking about what he said, his words rolling around your head like pinballs.

"I think so," you said quietly.

He nodded, still pinning you with his stare. "We all made decisions. We made choices based on what we knew at the time and we did our best."

You nodded, your voice wavering a bit when you asked "Am I a bad person, Joel?"

His eyebrows pinched together and he leaned forward in his chair, wanting to reach out to you, comfort you and pull you into his arms, but he refrained. "No, baby. You ain't a bad person," he told you softly.

And you weren't sure why, but you believed him.

The streets were quiet as you slowly made your way to the infirmary. You didn't start your shift until late in the morning and you didn't feel like joining Ellie at the dining hall for breakfast, so you stayed home, only getting out of bed when you heard Joel leave for patrol. He had already warned you the night before that he would be back later than usual due to the storm. Trails would likely be difficult to pass and nobody could predict if there would be damage at any of the outposts, but it was highly likely.

You didn't move out like you had threatened to. You didn't even know what you were thinking when you said that. Where would you have gone? The garage with Ellie? You didn't know anybody else. Not really. But even if you had, you saw the look in Joel's face when you said those words and even though you were so fucking angry with him, you still felt terrible for causing him pain.

On one hand, it seemed like he was just looking out for you, but on the other, his actions often came off as selfish. You had every right to know your past and what you did, and you were growing sick of Joel treating you like a child. Like you were too fragile to understand.

But at least you got it out of him. Even though you had to take extreme measures, you finally got him to tell you something truthful, and that was a positive step forward.

Lost in your thoughts, you weren't even paying attention when a man's voice called your name from across the street. You looked up after the third try and were surprised to find Ben waving to you from the tailor. You raised your hand in greeting and made your way over to the building.

"Hey," you said a little sheepishly, "about the other day, I'm sorry for how I acted-"

He shook his head and gave you a reassuring smile. "No need to apologize. All of this has to be so confusing for you. We understand."

You dropped your gaze to the frozen ground and dug your boot into the snow. "Thank you, I appreciate that. It's very frustrating, actually. I'm just trying to learn about myself and what's happened in the past ten years and I guess I took out my anger on you guys."

He waved you off and leaned against the doorframe of the tailor. "Don't worry about it. We were just happy to see you again."

And even though Ben was absolving you of your guilt, you somehow felt even worse. He was being so nice and you hardly felt like you deserved it. "Joel explained it to me, by the way. After we left your house he told me about us," you said, waving your finger back and forth between you.

"Ah," Ben said with a knowing smile as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I wondered as much. It was a very long time ago but Joel can be..." Ben trailed off and scratched his chin, "he can be a little protective, I suppose. He never really understood the nature our relationship."

You tilted your head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"It was just casual. He always thought there was something more," Ben said, meeting your eye. "But I promise you, there wasn't. At the time, we were just lonely and scared and looking for comfort. Neither of us was looking for anything more than that."

You nodded thoughtfully. "He did say we were a couple," you said, and Ben chuckled softly.

"I wouldn't even call it that. Truly. There were no hurt feelings. We just never had a connection past... y'know," he said with a shrug. You felt yourself flush a bit at the words he left unspoken and looked away. "But I'm glad he told you."

"Yeah, me too. I know his heart is in the right place, I just wish he would have told me about us and all the shit we did before I came to see you. Probably would have made the visit a little more pleasant," you said with a laugh, but Ben's face fell.

"He told you about what we did?" he asked, his tone suddenly serious. You sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, he told me I've killed people. It's been really hard to wrap my head around, but I'm trying to come to terms with it. He explained the world we live in now is not like the one I remember."

Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise and unfolded his arms. "Wow. I'm kind of shocked he told you about us and the Fireflies. That must have been really hard for you both."

You frowned and searched his face. "Fireflies?"

His body stiffened and his face paled when he realized his mistake. "Yeah. He told you about the Fireflies, right?"

You shook your head. "What are the Fireflies?"

"Shit," he muttered, pushing himself off the wall abruptly and clearing his throat. "I should get back to work. Just please forget I said anything, okay?"

"Ben, wait," you tried, but he disappeared back inside the tailor, leaving you standing in front of the door while more questions piled up.

There seemed to be a bad flu being spread around town because the infirmary was busier than usual. You were grateful for the distraction, especially after your conversation with Ben. You had spent the better part of the afternoon rushing from exam room to exam room, cleaning up after each patient as quickly as you could so Nick could continue treating the revolving door of people coughing and sneezing in the waiting room. Nick had recommended you wear a bandana around your mouth and nose to hopefully keep you healthy, but you had a feeling it would just be a matter of time before you caught the same bug as everyone else. Still, you kept the bandana tied around your neck as you worked diligently. What you didn't expect, however, was the bit of anonymity the mask afforded you.

You were cleaning up exam room six when you heard a woman's familiar voice in the room across the hall. Nick had left the door cracked open after he ushered her inside, and she apparently had another woman in there waiting with her as you started to pick up on hushed pieces of their conversation.

You didn't intend to eavesdrop, but curiosity got the best of you when you tried to place her voice, and when you realized it was Angie, your hands froze and your body stilled, doing your best to not make any noise so you could listen.

"... going down there almost every night... matter of time... him."

"But what about... freak out."

You frowned, inching closer to the door as you tried to fill in the gaps in their conversation.

Then you heard Angie say your name clear as day and your eyebrows shot up. You pressed your back against the wall and held your breath.

"She doesn't even like him. That relationship is a ticking time bomb."

You silently gasped when you realized they were most certainly talking about you and Joel.

It wasn't even true. You liked Joel. You were attracted to Joel. You were even starting to trust Joel a little more, although you definitely had plans to ask him about the Fireflies. But you were still getting to know him and it was taking time. Was this girl talking about trying to steal Joel away from you? The idea made your stomach turn and anger flare deep in your chest.

You shocked yourself with your reaction. Steal Joel away? Since when did you begin to feel some sense of ownership over him? Were you jealous?

You heard Nick's voice leaving an exam room a few doors down and you quickly made yourself look busy. He sighed tiredly in the hallway as he flipped through some papers before pushing open the door to Angie's room. You were changing the bedding on the mattress when you heard Nick call your name and you quickly dropped the sheets to cross the hall.

When your eyes locked with Angie's, giving her a hardened stare, you swore you saw a flicker of fear before she forced a fake smile and coughed into her fist while her friend, one you recognized from the bathroom at the Tipsy Bison, nervously shifted her weight and looked away. You felt a sick sense of satisfaction when it became clear to the two girls that you had heard everything they said, and you were grateful you had your mask on so they couldn't see the corners of your mouth twitch.

"Would you mind grabbing a bag of cough drops and a jar of menthol from the supply cabinet?" Nick asked, completely oblivious to the shift in the air.

"Sure thing," you told him, turning on your heel to leave and allowing yourself to finally smile.

Joel might scare the rest of the town, but you sure as hell scared the shit out of Angie.

Your shift at the infirmary went longer than expected. By the time you arrived home, you were exhausted and the sun was almost setting. So far you weren't feeling sick, but from what you had overheard all day, the symptoms came on quick, so you had already decided to call it an early night and get some rest. When you swung open the front door and found Joel hunched over the kitchen table, your plans went flying out the window.

He looked like he was on death's door. You had never seen him look so run down and pale. He didn't even open his eyes to look at you, he just kept them shut while he rubbed his temples and tried to stifle a cough, his backpack abandoned at his feet.

"Joel?" you called, toeing off your boots and hurrying over to him. You crouched down on the floor and pressed the back of your hand against his forehead. "You're burning up."

He groaned and cracked open one eye. "Feel like shit. Dunno what happened."

"There's a bad virus spreading around, the infirmary was slammed today," you said, pushing yourself up onto your aching feet to get him a glass of water. "Drink this and I'll heat you up some soup," you told him before heading towards the stove.

"You don't gotta-"

"Drink," you said firmly, cutting him off. He winced before picking up the glass and forcing down the cool liquid. Once you got the gas going on the stove, you grabbed an empty bowl and shoved your boots back on. "I'll be right back," you told him. He sat up a little straighter in his chair, about to ask where you were going but you already disappeared through the front door, returning seconds later with the bowl filled with snow.

"Lean back," you instructed, placing the bowl on the table. He did as he was told and closed his eyes, the lights from the kitchen ceiling making his head ache but when you pressed a handful of packed snow against his forehead, he groaned with relief.

"Oh shit, that feels good," he whispered as you tried to ignore the twinge between your legs at his low tone. He released a shaky breath and you watched as the snow began to melt, little trails of water dripping from his hair and down his scruffy cheeks. When it was nearly melted, you took your hand away and dumped the remnants in the sink, grabbing a towel and drying your hands on the way back. You pinched his stubbly chin delicately in your fingers and tipped his head towards you while slowly and gently wiping away the water from his face. When you finished, your eyes found his already boring into you and you felt a tingle shoot down your spine.

"Better?"

His gaze softened as he continued to stare up at you, searching your face quietly, making your heart begin to beat faster in your chest. You swallowed nervously and forced yourself to look away, and it was then he finally realized you had asked him a question.

"Yes," he murmured, "thank you."

You dragged your eyes back to his and gave him a small smile. "More?"

He didn't trust himself to speak. He just slowly nodded and watched with heavy lidded eyes as you scooped up another handful of snow. With your free hand, you slid your fingers behind his neck and through his hair, cupping the back of his head in your small hand before pressing the snow gently against his forehead once again. And even though he wanted to keep looking at you, he couldn't stop his eyes from fluttering shut at the cooling sensation, earning you another deep groan from his throat and causing your breath to stutter.

He heard it and opened his eyes.

You stared at each other, lips parted as the air began to thicken with tension. His eyes flickered over your face, noticing the way your pupils appeared bigger as you gazed down at him. He took a risk and slowly brought his hand up to rest on your side, watching you carefully for any sign that he should stop. He pressed his fingertips lightly into your hip, the fabric of your shirt bunching up slightly from the pressure.

You dropped your eyes to his hand and blinked rapidly, then opened your mouth to speak when you heard sizzling at the stove. You whipped your head around just as his soup began to boil over the pot.

"Shit!" you yelped, dropping the half melted snow onto the towel and racing over to the range. You twisted the knob off and put the pot on one of the unused burners and the liquid immediately simmered back down. "Sorry," you said, refusing to look at him as you started to gather a bowl and spoon, embarrassment burning your cheeks.

"Don't be," he replied, still leaning back in his chair in the same position you left him. He watched you fumble nervously in the kitchen and he had to suppress a smile.

Maybe he still had a chance, after all.

Joel's temperature was a little high but nothing too concerning, so you pushed the fluids and he ate all of his soup and it helped put your mind at ease. You really didn't want to have to ask for ibuprofen unless it was absolutely necessary, especially considering how the same virus was hitting almost every house at the same time. You made sure to check on Ellie from her doorway, not wanting to risk her catching anything since she appeared to be fine, before helping Joel up to bed.

Once you followed him into the room and he turned on the light next to his bed, you realized you hadn't actually ever entered his bedroom before. Sure, you've walked past it when the door was open and glanced inside, but you never really looked. As he gathered some fresh pajamas and began to unbutton his flannel, you turned your back to him to give him some privacy and examined his bookshelf. Your eyes drifted over the titles on the spines of a handful of books, most of which you hadn't heard of before noticing a framed photograph sharing a shelf with his books. It was faded and a little torn, but you could still make out their faces. It was Joel - a far younger version of Joel - with his arm around a beautiful little girl with dark hair and eyes and a stunning smile. You felt your throat tighten when you realized who it was, and if you had any doubt, Joel's voice piped up behind you.

"That's Sarah."

You heard him shuffling his bedding around so you figured he was dressed.

"She's beautiful, Joel," you said, walking over to his side of the bed and popping the thermometer under his tongue one more time. "It's wonderful that you were able to find a picture of her. I wish I had some pictures of my family," you said sadly, watching the hands of the clock on top of his bookshelf tick, counting down the seconds until you could check the thermometer. "I would have loved for you to at least see them. I think you would have gotten along with my brother really well. Maybe too well," you added with a soft laugh, not realizing he was silently hanging on your every word as you continued to stare at the clock. "He was always looking out for me. Always protecting me, trying to shield me and it drove me nuts when I was younger, but as time went on, I understood it a bit more."

You pulled the thermometer out and checked the number. "Still the same," you told him, resting it on his nightstand.

"How much time?" he asked, and you gave him a confused look. "How much time did it take 'til you started to understand?" he clarified, and you realized what he was really asking.

"I don't know," you replied honestly, sitting on the edge of his bed with a sigh. "But I'm starting to... understand," you said, giving him a sideways glance. You really wanted to ask him about the Fireflies but seeing how sick he was, you decided to bring it up another time. His hand slipped out from underneath the covers and gently squeezed your knee.

"That's good," he said softly before furrowing his brow and turning his head to cough loudly into his pillow. You winced at how bad it sounded and rubbed his upper back. When the coughing fit passed, you handed him his water and he took a grateful sip.

"Do you need anything else before I go to bed?"

"Could you stay here?" he found himself asking before he could even think. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as you struggled to answer. "Just 'til I fall asleep?"

"Oh," you replied, looking awkwardly around his rather sparse room. "Sure, let me just go wash up," you said, standing up from his bed. You were dead on your feet from your shift at work and you knew the next day wouldn't be any better, but you felt bad saying no, so you changed your clothes and grabbed one of the books Joel had found for you before dragging the chair from the corner of his room to the side of his bed.

"You can stretch out over there," he told you, pointing weakly to the other side of the bed before coughing into his closed fist. "I won't bite."

You smiled as you settled into the chair. "I'm alright, thanks," you said, opening your book and leaning back, trying to get comfortable. After a few minutes of reading, you looked up just to find him still watching you. You laughed and said "you need to get some rest if you want to kick this thing," then he grinned and finally closed his eyes.

You may not have been in bed with him, but you were close enough to help him relax and for the first time in months, he fell fast asleep within minutes.

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates ❤️

[aventurineswife]

Aventurine's reaction when you call him and tell him that his catcake gave birth (its so silly ikr, just a sudden idea nothing important lol)

Cats are like potato chips; you can’t have just one.

Summary: When you call Aventurine to share the news that one of his beloved catcakes has given birth to a litter of tiny, adorable kittens, you expect a simple reaction. However, Aventurine's response is anything but ordinary.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Fluff, Comedy, Slice of Life, Pets(Catcakes), Domestic Life, Lighthearted Fun, Situational Humor, Silly Situations.

A/N: THIS IS SUCH A SILLY AND CUTE IDEA 🤭 AND BEFORE Y'ALL COME AFTER ME I KNOW CHURIN HAS 3 CATS SO PRETEND TWO OF THEM ARE PARENTS OR SOMETHING!! KEEP THOSE REQUESTS COMING!! 🫶💖

You stood in the middle of your living room, phone in hand, staring at the sight before you with a mix of disbelief and amusement. One of Aventurine's beloved catcakes, a plush-like, mischievous creature with large golden-rimmed eyes and its distinctive trash-can-lid "hat," had just given birth to a litter of tiny, squirming mini-catcakes. Each one looked like a little version of their mom—black and pudgy, with miniature trash can lids that tilted adorably to the side.

You dialed Aventurine’s number, giggling to yourself at how ridiculous this was going to sound. The line picked up almost instantly, Aventurine's rich, confident voice greeting you.

“Darling, I hope this call means you're missing me terribly.” he said, the smooth charm practically radiating through the phone.

“Oh, I am,” you chuckled. “But that’s not why I called. Um...one of your catcakes just gave birth. You’re a...catcake dad now!”

There was a brief, stunned silence on the other end. You could picture him, his eyes widening in a rare moment of surprise, his usual air of confidence momentarily thrown off balance.

“Wait…my catcake did what?” He sounded somewhere between bewilderment and amusement, a laugh bubbling up in his voice.

“Yep! A litter of tiny catcakes! They’re like little carbon copies of the original but with even tinier trash can hats.” You tried to stifle your laugh but failed miserably, imagining how Aventurine must look processing this news.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Little risk-takers already multiplying without my knowledge…” he murmured to himself, though you could hear the faint trace of excitement creeping into his tone. “Tell me, darling—how do they look? Are they as devilishly charming as their old man?”

“Oh, absolutely! Little round black puffballs with the cutest, most intense eyes.” you said, leaning down to gently pet one of them as it squeaked. “And they’re already wiggling around, so I think they inherited your, uh, energy.”

“Mini me’s, indeed.” Aventurine’s laugh was low and surprisingly affectionate. “I suppose I’ll need to come over and meet the little scoundrels. And...maybe celebrate with you, seeing as you’ve helped bring my legacy forward. How does dinner sound?”

You grinned, heart fluttering a bit at his charm. “Dinner sounds perfect. But be prepared—they’re already trying to climb out of the box I put them in.”

“Oh, they’ll fit right into the family, then.” He let out an indulgent sigh. “Well, be a dear and keep them from getting too rowdy. I’ll be over shortly.”

As you hung up, you could still hear Aventurine's amusement lingering in his voice. You smiled to yourself, turning back to the tiny creatures that had somehow managed to turn a perfectly normal day into something absolutely unforgettable. Only Aventurine’s pets would come with this level of drama.

Aventurine suggestive fic next 🤭 keep those requests coming!

[jyoongim]

🎻 ℜ𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔐𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯 ℜ𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔬🎻

Chapter One

————————————————————————————————

The bitter cold of winter has finally given way to the refreshing warmth of spring. As the spring season rolls in, life and flowers are back in bloom. But that is not the only thing in bloom, no no no.

Many youth from prestigious families are in bloom as well. The refreshing air of spring has given way to the start of the biggest social event in the South.

The Marriage Market.

A time where once youthful elites, now must enter society and find a suitable match, whether that be for love or business, to secure high status.

Will this season’s market be successful? Will there be scandal? Will there be a love match made and a wedding this season?

Well, I guess that is something we should wait to see isn’t it my dear readers?

———————————————————————————————

The gentle rocking of the carriage was luring you to sleep as you watched the scenery go by. The greenery and the smell of honeysuckles always had a special place in your heart. You always loved the country, preferring the quiet hum of the bayou over the hustle and bustle of the city, but you guessed you didn’t mind the jazz and festivities that lied in the city.

“Dearest?” The sound of your mother’s concerning tone made you turn your head, not knowing if she was referring to you or at one of your sisters. She was staring at you with a quirked brow.

Yep. Definitely you.

”did you hear me?”

you gave another look out the window, shaking your head “what did you say?” Your mother sucked her teeth “I asked if you were excited. Its your first season.” A soft smile appeared on your lips “hmm I don’t know yet. Maybe it’ll finally set in once I debut. I am excited to see my friends”

Your mother smiled “I heard Charlotte was debuting as well, oh I can’t wait to see how that girl has grown”

Your sisters were chatting  among themselves quietly. 

Your mother continued “We have much to prepare for dearest. This season I am hoping to have a wedding to plan by the end. Your brother wrote to me that he has found several prospects for you to look into” You rolled your eyes “Oh because he has such great taste in the marriage world. Mama please.” You laughed.

The carriage stopped and your mother stepped out. The servants bowed in greeting and began to gathering y’all things to bring into the estate.

Your sisters ran ahead inside to their rooms and you and your mother walked inside, your mother calling for your brother.

”Ah! Mother! Sister!” A voice called excitedly and your brother appeared smiling. He embraced your  mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek and you as well.

You figured they had business to discuss and left them be as you went to the balcony.

Many families were returning and you catch sight of Charlie. You waved once you caught her attention, sitting down watching the people.

Antony, Angel, hollered up at you when he jumped out of his car, making you laugh when his mother hit his shoulder to get inside the house.

You hoped to have a chance to speak with them while the events were happening.

The season.

You were the first daughter of the prestigious Biche family. One of the most influential and wealthy families to live in the South.

Your family made money by investing in sugarcane fields and horses.

You knew you were the potential prize to many of the men of the ton

”Why don’t you rest up dear? You have a busy day ahead of you” your mother chirped from the drawing room, unpacking a few knick knacks.

You nodded and headed upstairs to your room.

The servants already had your nightgown out and you changed and got into bed.

You read a little until the sky turned dark and laid there, staring up at the ceiling.

Tomorrow started the beginning of the season. You didn’t know what to expect, but you felt a little excited.

Will you meet the perfect gentleman? Would you be able to find a match? You hoped to marry for love, you didn’t need status or any material things. Just a nice man who loved you for you.

You remembered how your father was with your mother and you hoped to find those same qualities in a man.

After all…marriage was about love right? That’s what your mother always said.

——————————————————————————————————

Taglist:

@yourdoorisunlocked @certifiedcrybabyyy @aliyaharnold01 @alastor-simp @alastorsgirl48 @dickmastersworld @memoire-du-ciel @alastoralltruist @hazelfoureyes @kahlan170 @nkirukaj @voxsmalewife @theangeliclibrarian @purplecatsandhearts @amurtan @zombiesnips-blog @alastwhore666 @alastwhore666 @rulesareshadesofgrey @alastorsaries @alastors666creampie @thewinchestah @okay-babe @yunimimii @southern-bayou-beau @karolinda007-blog @justtnat @preciousbabypeter @vexendoe @evedenn @cxrsedwxrlds @cutiebimbo @orangethecarrotcoloredpaperred @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorthirsty @siiv3r @theangeliclibrarian @nightshadelm @blubugg13 @smoky000 @boney-horse @sweet-radio @charlottemorningstarsdarling @im-so-tired52 @nyxenyo @cinnamon-galaxies @wisteria-seal @kaylopolis @prosciuttosblog @callmeoncette

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞

You left it on a cliffhanger! You can’t do that!!!

But it's so fun! And also, hit 1k!

Here's another 1k!

---

“Maybe you two are up for some company?” Eddie asks.

“YES!” Dove cheers. “Eddie, come over!”

Buck swallows. “We’re always up for your company, Eddie.”

“Okay, cool. Uh… We can bring pizza?” 

“That would be…” It takes Buck a moment to process Eddie’s syntax. “Wait. We?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says quietly. “Yeah, uh… Just got back from El Paso this morning actually.” 

Buck’s heart just about explodes right there on the highway. 

“Holy shit,” he says. 

Dove gasps. 

“Dude.” 

Buck hardly cares. 

“Chris is really home?” He asks. “Right now?”

“He really is,” Eddie confirms. And though the words are simple, Buck can hear the well of emotion in Eddie’s voice.

“O-okay,” Buck responds. “Okay… I’ll… You bring the pizza, and we’ll… I’m going to stop by the bakery and get that cake he likes.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Yes I do.”

“Buck, no, it’s-”

“I’m doing it,” Buck says, already correcting his course in the Jeep.

He hears Eddie sigh faintly. “Okay. See you in, like, an hour?” 

“Can you make it quicker? We’ll be home in less than thirty?”

“So demanding,” Eddie says. “We can do forty-five.” 

“Perfect,” Buck grins. “That’s perfect. Uh, tell him I love him and I can’t wait to see him?”

“I will,” Eddie replies. “But he knows.” 

Buck is smiling so much it hurts. 

“See you soon, Eddie.”

“Bye, Buck. Bye, Dove.” 

“Bye,” Dove says back.

When they end the call, Buck doesn’t know what to do, other than keep driving towards the bakery. His eyes are stinging. His throat is tight. He knows he’s about to have some sort of emotional scene in front of Dove, and he doesn’t exactly know how to explain it. How much of what happened between Eddie and Chris should he tell her? It’s private and she’s a little kid. And he definitely doesn’t want her thinking that sometimes kids and parents get separated for several months at a time. He would die before sending her to Hershey.

God, come to think of it, they haven’t shown any interest in her at all. Whatever. Not the point. 

“Dad?” She asks, as he expects. “What’s happening? Why are you crying?”

Is he crying? He touches his face with one hand. Yep. He sure is. 

“Uh…” Buck starts, not sure how to best do this. “Well, Eddie’s son, Christopher, who you’re going to meet tonight… He was… He spent a while with his grandparents. And they live far away. So I missed him pretty badly, but he’s home now. So they’re happy tears, Dove. I’m happy he’s home.”

“Eddie’s son?” She asks. 

“Yeah,” Buck confirms. “Christopher. He’s fourteen.”

“Oh,” she replies. 

They’ve mentioned Chris in front of her before. He knows they have, more than once. And there’s a photo of Chris up in the house. Buck might not have sat her down and explained the situation or how much Chris means to him… But that’s mostly because he didn’t want her bringing it up in front of Eddie. Eddie who was in so much pain. 

“You’re going to love him, Dove,” Buck insists. “He’s funny and kind. He’s one of my favorite people in the whole world.”

Dove huffs a little. “Why did he go away for so long?”

And yep. Buck winces. It’s going to be complicated.

“He just wanted to spend time with his grandparents,” Buck lies. “There was a lot going on last spring and he thought some time in Texas might help.”

As close to the truth as he’s willing to get.

“Do I have grandparents?” Dove asks. 

Buck remembers the man who didn’t seem to care that his young daughter had just given birth in their dingy apartment, or that she’d then flushed the baby down a toilet. Yeah. No. 

“Well, my parents live all the way in Pennsylvania,” Buck explains. “So pretty far away. But sometimes they visit, so you might meet them one day.”

He actually isn’t looking forward to that at all. He thinks he’ll bit their heads off if they do a single thing to make her feel bad or lesser than. 

“But,” Buck continues. “I’ve always felt that Bobby is sort of like my dad, too. So if you needed help or-or advice from a grandparent, you should go to him.”

“Bobby,” she repeats. “Okay.”

Good. And if she ever gets pissed at him and runs to Bobby, it’s a fifteen minute drive. 

▪️▪️▪️

Maybe, with hindsight, he’ll think he did not handle Christopher’s arrival at his house that way in the best manner for Dove. But if that’s true, then he can forgive himself. He is completely overcome with emotion. 

Dove’s hair is still damp with pool water by the time the truck pulls into the driveway. Buck practically bounds out of the house towards them, like a dog excited that its people are home after a long day. 

“CHRIS!” He exclaims as the boy climbs out of the front seat. 

He doesn’t even take a second to glance Eddie’s way. All he can see is Chris. 

He’s taller. He’s grown. Of course he has. He looks older in other ways too. More definition to his jaw. Less baby fat in his cheeks. Buck feels a strange mixture of sadness and awe. 

Buck wraps him in a crushing hug. 

“Look at you!” He exclaims. “You’re so tall!”

“Hey, Buck,” Chris manages through being squeezed.

His voice is deeper too. What the hell! Eddie must have lost his mind. 

“I missed you so much,” Buck says. He lets him go, not wanting to suffocate him.

“I missed you, too,” Chris says, a little sheepishly. Like he’s thinking, maybe, about how Buck had little choice in the missing or being missed. 

“None of that,” Buck says very quietly. 

Chris looks up at him. 

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Buck says. 

Has he felt frustrated with Chris? Yes. Does he understand his choices? Also yes. It’s a hard place to be, loving both Eddie and Chris as much as he does.

[fionnasbunnyhat]

Summary: You and Fionna meet for the first time

warning(s): Fluff, swearing, and i think that's it.

I was tired and really wanted a coffee to start my day, I haven't been here long so I didn't know which place would have good coffee. I saw a cute little old-looking shop 'the Beatrice Buttler's bakery' The big sign read. I decided that a cute shop like this and it's close to work? Perfect. I walked across the dead road and opened the door to a chime noise. I saw one other girl in the store, she had blonde hair that was messy put in a tie and a stressed look on her face. She was talking to the pink haired male that was working there. They both turned to face me and I saw the girls face, she was near my age I know that for sure. "Hi, sorry are you taking her order?" I said feeling like I had disturbed their conversion "No, what could I get for you?" The male's voice was cheerful and calm like a sweetie.

The girl who was now sat down was watching me, her eyes following me. "Could I just get a regular and a cookie?" I don't start work until tomorrow but I firgured it's smart to look out beforehand to get a good memory. "Of course!" He said smiling and turning around while grabbing a few things. I stood there moving my feet around myself, a few minutes later he handed me a bag. "That will be 4.50 please" I gave him the money and sat down at a table, a few more people came in while I was standing in the line so the blonde haired girl couldn't speak to the worker. She decided to move herself and sat on a chair in front of me, I felt rude not saying anything so I placed my phone down and smiled at her. "Hey!"

"You seem too happy" I wasn't expecting that to be the first thing that came out her mouth but okay "Sorry, is it unnerving?" I stopped smiling and gave more of a upset or dead faced. "Hmm...no it's just how are you happy living here?" She had to have lived here long enough to see how sad this city is. To be truthful I didn't really like this place but the rent at my house isn't that bad. "I don't know" I said, where is this conversion going? "My name's Fionna" She said while eating a biscult. "YN" I smiled for a split second before taking the cookie from the bag and starting to eat it. "YN? That's a cool name" Fionna started telling me about her jobs, her cat and how she knows the owner of the shop and a bunch of other things I forgot.

The next day before work I came in and she was there, she seemed to be more happy than yesterday. "Hey Fionna and Garyyy?" I said, she mentioned his name being Gary but I still wasn't sure. "Yep thats me" He said pointing to him while letting out a smile. "Could I get the same as yesterday, just a basic coffee and a cookie" He nodded while smiling "So- YN where do you work?" Fionna said coming close to me, her hair seems to get messier and messier but somehow I like it. I told her where and she started talking about random things after that. She spoke a lot, I listened and tried to remember all the things she told me but it was hard.

"If your ever free would you like to hang out outside of here?" I said I was just about to leave for work "Oh- Yeah are you free Friday" She said smiling while fixing herself up a bit. "Yeah! Wait hold on" I grabbed a pen from my bag and looked at her. "Could I have your hand?" She put her hand in front of me and I turned it around to the palm and wrote down my number, she was confused on what i was doing. "That's my number, message me on where we should meet Fi" I said giving her a quick nickname and I sped-walked out while waving.

When I got home from work I sat on my bed and grabbed my phone unlocking it for the first time today and I saw a message 'Hi' 'It's Fionna' 'from the store' 'the one with the cat called cake' 'I was thinking maybe your place if your up for that :p' I smiled at her messaged 'Yeah that's fine with me do you want me to pick you up?' I wasn't sure how far away she was from mines. 'Where do you live (Not in a creepy way)' I chuckled at her comment and replied 'XXXXXXXXX' I sent my address 'Wait holy shit- we don't live that far away from each other. 'Oh?' She sent her address and she was right it was pretty close. 'I'll see you tomorrow!' I messaged before going to sleep.

I'll make a part 2 I just don't know how big the limit is on Tumblr :D

[theseawakes]

This Is Me Trying (Doctor Strange x teen!reader)

summary: you received your report cards with bad results and you don't want your dad finding out about it.

warnings: hurt/comfort, bad grades, mint choco (?), strange is a good dad (lmk if I missed anything)

a/n: this is definitely not a self indulgent fic i projected myself onto.

You slammed your door shut before sliding against it, bringing your knees close to your chest. Heaving out your breath, you pull your report cards to your lap after crossing your legs, looking at them with sorrow in your eyes. You're not sure why you're sad and upset when you should've seen it coming the moment your teacher looked down at you with a frown on her face.

"Your grades dropped." You blanked at your teacher's statement, processing the information.

"Oh," you breathed out after a beat.

"Almost falling, hun." A sigh escaped the lady's lips, she clasped her hands in front of her on the desk. "What's gotten into you, Y/N? You were a bright kid. Gifted even. I don't want your potential to go wasted just like that. You could go to one of the best universities –"

The rest of it was blurry. You couldn't focus on your teacher's lecture as your head felt like being in a giant ringing bell. You cautiously re-read the cards in your hand. It was littered with C's, a few B's, and a D. If you could wish for a miracle, you'd wish you could change them before your father sees it. You ran your hands through your hair roughly, dropping the papers as a result.

Being enrolled in a widely known school filled with future geniuses has its perks. Especially when you were a child of two famous surgeons. Expectations were a friend you made inside your mother's womb and they'll follow you until your dying days. Then your dad became the sorcerer supreme, and then the universe was at stake, and then you got blipped, and when you came back your mother was presumed dead. It all happened in a blitz. All of a sudden, you're living in a new era, and people are adjusting. You are adjusting. Yet you never quite remember when does adjusting felt this hard.

You were great. Oh boy, were you great. You were always at the top of your class– at least in the big 3. A good friend and student. The perfect child. Your parents didn't force you into being one, no, it just happened. Since the first time you got first place in your kindergarten and people praised you, you felt the need to keep it up. You were so ahead of the curve that it became a sphere, and now you ended up falling behind your classmates. Focusing was hard, the tests were hard, and you barely even made any friends after going back to school after the blip. Plus, you've been taking mystical arts lessons from your dad. You were too busy trying to clean your rusty wheels.

A gentle knock pushed you out of your thoughts. "Kid, you're in there?" Your father's voice broke in.

"Yeah," you answered. When did your voice become so hoarse? You didn't even notice tears rolling down your cheek, which you quickly wiped before opening your door that reveals Stephen Strange leaning on the doorway. "What's up, dad?"

Stephen furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you okay? Were you… crying? What happened?"

You mentally cursed yourself. He doesn't know about it yet. Your dad asked if you wanted him to come with you to take your report cards, but you denied it and said you'll be fine. Thankfully, he wasn't stubborn like he always was on accompanying you and said he'd go to the store instead and hadn't returned yet when you got to the sanctum.

You shook your head. "Nope, why would I be?"

The former sorcerer supreme peeked through your figure that blocked the door and saw papers on the floor. "Is that your report cards? How was it?"

Before he could go on more, you closed the door behind you. "It's, uh, nothing you should worry about." You offered him a tight smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. I'm fine. So, could you please go somewhere else? I gotta do something."

"You sure you're alright?" Your father asked once again, only having you push him away from your room in response.

"Yeah, yeah, totally."

Anyone could've been fooled by your smile and words, but Stephen was your father, he knew something was wrong with you. So he opens his mouth to speak again. "No, there's something wrong, I know there is. You sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

"I'm sure, dad. A hundred percent sure." You emphasized every word in the last sentence.

"Really? You know you can tell me the truth. Was it your report cards?"

"No, dad, I'm fine! Just go, do you hear me? I don't wanna see you now! Just– just leave me alone… please." You didn't realize you had been screaming until you saw the surprised look on Stephen's face. Retreating to your room, more tears stained your eyes as you left your father frozen in his place.

Pacing in his chamber, the sorcerer's mind traveled to exactly an hour ago when he had a little argument with you. It's no lie that he's worried about you judging by the look on his face. His parental instinct wanted to knock on your door again and make you feel better like any parent would, but he decided to give you space, no matter how worried he was.

After the death of your mother, who won child custody back then, you immediately got swooped under Stephen's wings. It wasn't hard to warm up to him since you already spent time together often before the car accident he had which led him to protect the world. You even met Christie Palmer, your father's lover back then. You went through the grief of losing your mother with him. Though through the grief he did, he no longer loved your mom as much as you do, but you don't blame him for that.

On the other side of his door, there stands you with clammy hands gripping a sheet of paper with your grades written on it. You didn't think it would be a good idea to tell Stephen about your report cards. He, like any other, probably would just be disappointed in you. But you don't like lying to your dad, especially when he's the only person you have left (aside from Wong, whom you had been getting closer to). You couldn't stay mad at him, and you had no right to say things that could hurt him. Mustering up your courage, you brought a hand to knock on the door.

Stephen opened his door right before you knocked on it. "Y/N?" he asked softly.

You pulled your hand back to your side. "Dad," was your reply. Neither of you said anything, just eyes looking fondly into one another's. "I, uh… I'm sorry for yelling at you… and lying to you," you said thoughtfully even though you were holding back tears. Pushing the papers to his hands, you continued, "you were right, it was my report cards. It turns out that I almost failed this semester." You watched Stephen read the paper in his hand, not even changing his expression in the slightest. This made you bite your lip out of habit. "But don't worry! I passed! I just… I wasn't on top of my class, far behind, actually. I know you're disappointed –"

"Who said that I was?" Stephen cuts you.

A sigh escaped your lips. "No one. I thought you would be since anyone else is." That's the truth. You could see that your teacher was disappointed in you, and the look on your classmates' faces just screams disappointment.

"Kid, you could never disappoint me," Stephen exclaimed, a small yet visible smile on his face. "Adapting to a new life isn't an easy task. I know everything seems to go so fast, believe me, I've been there. Yet you're able to survive to this day. Not everyone could, y'know."

You lowered your head, averting your gaze to the floor so that your dad won't see your tears. "I'm trying. All I want is to get my old self back. To be a bright kid again so that I could make you proud."

Stephen frowned when he heard your confession. His large, gentle arms pulled you into a side embrace. You cried silently against his chest, a hand covering your eyes whilst another was around your abdomen. To say Stephen Strange was an affectionate person was something arguable, but there's no denying that he loves his child to bits and won't stop reminding them of it.

"You'll forever make me proud, little star. Don't forget that." A kiss was planted on the crown of your head. "I'm sorry I was being persistent as well before. I should've let you tell me when you're ready."

You rolled your eyes. "You being persistent is something new?"

The sorcerer chuckled shortly. He pats your back as you wipe your tears, smiling alongside him when you break the hug. "Since you know I am persistent. Let's go to our favorite ice cream parlor." Stephen puts an arm around your shoulders and drags you along to the front door.

You narrowed your eyebrows. "Why would you need to be persistent to ask me to go eat an ice cream?"

"Because you, child, are my offspring," said your dad, opening the front door and bowing mockingly. "After you."

Playing along, you bowed back, earning a smile from the man who soon placed his arm around your shoulders again, walking with you instead of dragging you this time. "What flavor shall we get today, my child?"

"I do not possess the knowledge, dear father. What do you think we shall taste today?"

Stephen hummed. "How about mint choco?"

You snorted. "You mean the toothpaste?"

"Hey, it's good!"

"What's good about eating toothpaste?"

"Don't act like you've never eaten toothpaste before."

"Well, it's not like I did it on purpose!"

"Oh, you will."

"What do you mean I will?" Your question was met with a smirk. "Dad, what does it mean?"

"The last one who arrives at the parlor gets to eat toothpaste on purpose!" He quickly says before running through the street.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Wasting no other second, you zoom toward where your dad is headed.

"Enjoying the toothpaste?"

Stephen turned around to see you raising your eyebrows while licking your favorite ice cream. "No thanks to you." He glared at you as you happily took the seat next to him. His nose scrunched when he took another bite of his ice cream. "This thing actually tastes like toothpaste." A sigh of defeat was exhaled by the former sorcerer supreme.

You punched the air in victory. "And the winner goes to… drumroll please," you cued your father who lazily starts to drum on the handrest. "Y/N Strange!"

Your dad ruffled your hair, causing you to protest for ruining it. Stephen couldn't help but smile at one particular memory that flashed through his head. A memory of you two sitting on the same bench, eating the same ice cream from the same parlor years ago. He realized that it has been quite some time since the last time the two of you did something like this. The last time you were just a kid, barely even a teen. When did you start growing up so fast?

"Thank you, dad." Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "For being proud of me, for cheering me up, especially for letting me win."

Your smug smile was being returned with a poke on your stomach. Stephen only laughed when you scooted away from him a bit. Nevertheless, you scooted back after feeling he won't tickle you entirely.

"Anything for my dearest demon child."

[jaemmphilia]

★ 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 ★ || seo c.b

★ summary: changbin has been so stressed out with the upcoming school semester. his professors are already drowning him in piles upon piles of work. and don't even get him started on his major. that's where y/n comes in. he can just sense how stressed out his poor boyfriend is, so he gets changbin's favorite food and some booze, making a date of the once stressful night.

★ characters: seo changbin, y/n

★ warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, reader is the sweetest boyf ever, vanilla sex, unprotected sex (say it with me, wrap it before you tap it), this is the softest thing ive written yet, changbin is stressed out from school, reader comforts changbin, mentions of alcohol, mentions of selling crack, changbin has body image issues in this one

★ word count: ~2.1K

★ requested?: yep, thank you @belladonna6-6-6

★ binnie's thoughts: i love domestic shit, despite not ever being in a committed relationship, so i am pretty much living my fantasies through writing... i hope you like it anyways !

★ disclaimer: this fic in absolutely NO way represents the stray kids members as people. this is just for fun, so don't take it to heart. just enjoy!

Changbin wants to drop out so badly at this moment. The semester started like two weeks ago and he wants to rip his hair out (“Babe don’t do that, we just dyed it back to a natural color after that green disaster!” He can hear your voice scolding him without you even having to be near him.). The poor boy is knee-deep in work already, and his dumb professors just keep adding to the pile. What’s he even getting out of doing all this work, anyways? A stupid piece of paper? He majors in music production, in what world will he ever need to know the formula to calculate the circumference of a triangle or whatever the hell it is? 

Changbin lets out his nth groan of the night, his face falling onto his open textbook. He feels tears behind his eyes from the frustration of it all. He wonders if he’s the only one struggling to keep up with all this work. He knows he should probably get up and move his aching legs, but the thought of falling behind on getting everything finished fills him with an anxious feeling. As he contemplates dropping out and selling crack on the street, a knock at his door causes him to open his eyes. He turns on his phone that sits beside his textbook. 10:46 p.m stares back at him. He’s a bit confused, he isn’t expecting anyone to be at his door at this time, so who could it be?

It couldn’t be Chan, he’s glued to his chair at the studio, slaving away making tracks for his music production class. It couldn’t be Jisung, either. He’s knocked out after spending the day with his long-time crush, Minho. So that really leaves only one person, but he honestly thought you would also be asleep after your shift at the campus’ daycare. Chasing kids of various ages all day is pretty draining work. 

Changbin gets up and opens his door, the stress of school and turning in half-assed assignments fleeing his body as his eyes land on your million-dollar smile. Your arms are carrying bags of all kinds, and his nose picks up the sweet smell of takeout from the joint just outside of the campus. 

“Binnie, I come bearing food and alcohol!” you sing as you make your way into his dorm. Changbin feels like he could cry. Not from frustration this time, but from happiness and love. Your timing couldn’t have been more perfect, he was close to having a mental breakdown, nothing going right for him. 

“I had a feeling you were glued to your chair, slaving away doing your work. And judging by the way you’re looking at me, my feeling was correct.” You place the bags down by the couch, and make your way to your hunky boyfriend. Standing in front of him, you wrap your arms around his neck, giving him a quick squeeze. Changbin’s hands automatically wrap around your waist, tugging you close to his warm body. He holds you tight for a few seconds longer, a silent thank you for coming to distract him from the cause of his stress. 

“You have no idea how happy I am to have you here right now. I was so close to ripping out my hair and crying in the shower with my clothes on,” Changbin mutters in your ear, his breath tickling you a bit, making you chuckle softly. 

You pull away slightly, your arms still his neck, hands clasped at the nape of his neck loosely. “I’m glad I could help, babe. Why don’t you call it a night and have a romantic date with me right here?” 

Changbin simply nods and presses a gentle kiss on your lips. He loves kissing you, it’s one of his favorite things to do with you. Kisses of any kind will always do it for him. Whether it be just a sweet peck or a full blown Frenchie, he easily becomes putty in your embrace. When things get intimate between you two, his plump lips have to be on you in some way, it really doesn’t matter to him, as long as he can smooch you as many times as he wants to.  You pull away from the kiss and your voice brings him back to reality. “I hope you’re hungry. I would be surprised if you weren’t, to be honest,” you say, making your way to the bags of food sitting on the table in front of the puke-green couch he found at the thrift store (you’ve always hated that damn couch, it’s tacky and an unflatteringly green color, you wish he would just get rid of it.). Changbin just chuckles, watching as you pull out two styrofoam boxes out of the bag. He plants his tired body on the couch, immediately sinking into the semi-comfortable cushions. He grabs the remotes to his TV and finds something for the two of you to watch while you eat. He starts up the movie when you sit beside him, cold drinks in your hands for you both.

The movie is long forgotten as you and Changbin make out lazily on the couch. His heavier body is on top of yours, his hands under your shirt, softly roaming the expanse of your chest and stomach. Any noise that leaves your mouth is muffled by Changbin’s soft and juicy lips. 

Both of you grind your lower bodies together, your clothed cocks rubbing together despite the layers in between. Changbin pulls away from your lips, chuckling at the way you chase him, trying to get more kisses from him. His thumb swipes along your swollen bottom lip, wiping the saliva left behind. “God, you’re so sexy, baby. I love everything about you, there is nothing you could do to make me not like you.” Changbin can’t help the words coming from his mouth, he’s just so drunk on your love that his mind is only thinking one thing: you. 

“Oh, Binnie. I love you so much, you’re perfect for me, love.” You reply, returning the sweet words as your hand cups his cheek gently, prompting him to connect his lips with yours once again. You hum, bringing your free hand under his loose shirt, the material pooling around his upper chest. Changbin gets the hint, pulling away from you so you can tug his shirt off. Once the shirt is discarded and forgotten, you zero in on Changbin’s impressive body. He has the nicest body you’ve ever seen in your life, he’s muscular, his skin is nice and soft like a peach, with the occasional mole littering the flesh. 

Changbin’s face warms up at your intense stare. “Baby, don’t stare, it’s embarrassing..” he mutters, his usually loud voice now soft and quiet. Your eyes flit up to look at the pools of deep brown. You’re aware of Changbin’s body image issues, he’s been very open with you about his true feelings about how he views his body. That’s why you have made it your mission to make sure this sweet boy knows that his body is perfect no matter what. 

You tell him what you always tell him when he starts feeling this way, “Binnie, whether you are skinny, fat, muscular, or squishy, you are perfect to me and I’m not with you because of your body. I’m with you because you are a genuine person with the best personality in the world. I’m with you because you love me for who I am, just like I love you for who you are.” 

Changbin can’t ignore the slight sting in his eyes and the rapid fluttering in his stomach. He truly loves you and he knows he wants to spend every waking moment of his life with you. He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t need to. His actions speak much louder than any word he could possibly say. 

His hands strip you of your shirt, and his lips make their way all over your chest, and he makes his way to the waistband of your basketball shorts. He tugs the shorts down until they’re at your ankles. You kick the garment off, careful not to kick Changbin… again. Changbin’s eyes roam your almost naked body, his teeth toying with his bottom lip. 

“Oi, why am I almost naked while you’re sitting there with your joggers still on? Chop chop, mister!” The pout on your lips is just so cute, Changbin can’t stop the laugh bubbling from his chest. Changbin removes himself from the couch, and he walks over to where you’re laid out on the couch, and he hooks one of his arms under the back of your knees, his other arm wrapping around your back, and he lifts you up with ease. A startled noise falls out of your mouth, your arm wrapping around him in urgency. You know he would never drop you, but being picked up out of the blue has never been your thing. You allow Changbin to carry you to his room, and he carefully lays you down on his very comfy mattress, and he rids himself of his dark gray joggers.

With his hands on his hips, he cocks an eyebrow at you, “Are you happy now? We’re both equal amounts of nakedness.” 

“Hmm, you drop your boxers and I’ll drop mine. Then we’ll definitely be even.”

“Anything for you, my prince.” 

“Don’t you ever call me that again, Changbin.”

After you both are fully naked, you both allow your hands to explore each other’s bodies, even though you’ve done it a million times in the duration of your four year relationship. Changbin is kissing you softly while his hand is splitting your hole open with three fingers lodged deep inside. You’re whining into his mouth, your back arching off the bed below you. Your cock is painfully hard, the tip of it a flushed red color similar to your natural skin tone. 

Changbin pulls away from your lips, and he starts to speak to you, “I want to try a new position, baby,” you just nod at him and allow the male to adjust you the way he wants to. He pulls your body to the edge of the bed, and he stands in between your spread legs. He takes his length in his hand, pumping it a few times before he places the tip at your fluttering hole, rubbing the tip along the crack of your ass before he’s pushing past your rim. You will never get over that initial pressure of his cock sliding past your hole, it always feels weird, but that weird feeling is quickly gone as soon as Changbin’s hips snap forward. 

Changbin sets the pace, his hand on your lower stomach as his hips come in contact with the back of your thighs, the sharp sounds of skin slapping together echoes loudly in the small room. You’re letting out the prettiest noises, whines and soft chants of Changbin’s name falling past your parted lips. Changbin doesn’t speed up or slow down, he thinks this pace is just right for you both, he wants to thank you for always being there for him, and he wants the moment to last a little longer than it normally would. His length slides in and out of you, his many veins rubbing your walls in the best way. Your hand is lazily stroking your own length, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as the pleasure courses through your body. Changbin is grunting above you, his hands gripping your hips tightly, tugging your body to meet his thrusts. 

The two of you continue to fuck like that for a while, and you know Changbin is close because his grunts turn into soft whines, his name falling from his lips as his hips begin to stutter and skip. Changbin ends up pulling out you and he takes his length as well as your own length. He jerks you both off until you both spill on his hand, moaning each other's names as you finish. Changbin pants as he uses his arms to hold himself up on the bed, his legs feeling like jelly. You scoot on the bed until you’re laying normally. 

You look at Changbin as you catch your breath, a smile on your face. After sex glow looks good on Changbin, he’s all sweaty and his hair sticks to his forehead, his pupils blown wide as he comes down from his high. You watch as he wipes his hands on one of his many dirty towels that sits on the floor. Looks like you’ll have to do some laundry while he’s in class tomorrow. 

“Binnie, come cuddle with me, I’m sleepy,” You whine, your arms wide and welcoming. He just chuckles and jumps into your arms, peppering kisses all over your sweaty face, making you laugh. You would do anything for this man, and you can only hope he feels the same way.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

this writer's block has been HELLLLL, i'm so sorry it's been a while!! but because Halloween is the perfect opportunity to write some more college au, please enjoy some Gwen x Brady!

word count: 2.4k

-> peace - john brady x gwen dastrup (college au)

"You sure they're on straight?" Helen asked, peering over her shoulder as they walked down the street. The angel wings she wore strapped to her shoulders were the finishing touch to the Romeo and Juliet costume she'd spent weeks planning with Nash, and Gwen had heard of little else for the last half hour.

"Uhhh - yep. There," She affirmed with a nod, stepping behind her roommate to adjust them.

"So..." Helen smirked, her gaze fixed on Gwen as she fell back in step. "You gonna see John at the party?"

"Well, he lives there. So probably."

"Oh," She scoffed. "That is not what I mean. That boy is absolutely smitten and you know it."

"I do not know that." Gwen shook her head, face flushing as red as the toga draped over her shoulder.

"You're nervous," Helen sang, the teasing grin audible in her voice even when Gwen didn't look, fidgeting with her costume for the tenth time in as many minutes.

"Parties are... loud," She grumbled, the excuse sounding utterly pathetic as it rolled off her tongue.

So what if John was there? It was his party at his house - a party that countless others had also been invited to. What were the chances that he'd find even a moment to talk to her? And why would he want to? If she had to guess, Gwen imagined this night going only one way - she would cling to Helen's side for as long as possible, drink a couple beers, and head home halfway through the party, making the trek back to her dorm alone. This result seemed a safe bet if last year was anything to go by.

The front lawn was scattered with partygoers as they arrived, a sea of unfamiliar faces made even more unrecognisable beneath layers of face paint and fake blood. She could hear Time Warp blaring from within, Helen's hand slipping into her own as they headed up the steps, ensuring she stayed close. The gesture made her smile, the sense of dread that had been steadily building their whole way here ebbing away slightly.

About to enter through the front door, the pair took an alarmed step back as Frankie appeared suddenly in front of them, almost whacking them with the baseball bat clutched in her grip. "Oh, shit, sorry!" She blurted, sweating slightly beneath the many layers of her Wendy Torrance costume. "Hey guys! Here, take these-" Reaching inside, she propped the bat up in the doorway long enough to seize two cups of blood-coloured liquid, thrusting them into their hands. "Oh, and if you see a Tin-Man wandering around, send him my way."

"You've already lost Rosie?" Helen laughed, taking a sip. With a shrug, Frankie seized her bat again, hurrying off across the porch towards where George was waiting, a May Queen crown perched atop her head as she chatted to Curt in his matching bear suit.

"I turn my back for one minute and he just disappears!"

Gwen let out a chuckle, raising the cup to her lips and squinting as the tart taste of cranberries caught her by surprise. "Oh, my god," She spluttered slightly, eliciting a snort of amusement from Helen as they headed inside.

It was somehow even worse than she'd expected, the press of bodies suffocating from the moment they entered. Helen's grip on her hand tightened as they tried to squeeze their way through, the music so overpowering it was as if her very brain had begun to vibrate inside her skull.

"You okay?" Helen called over her shoulder.

"Uh-huh," She lied.

Her shoulders were hunched, tucked inwards to take up as little space as possible as she tried to weave her way through the mass of bodies, her roommate's hand a lifeline in all the chaos.

Maybe one beer was all she needed. Then she could go.

"Gwen! Hey!" A familiar voice cut through the wall of sound, and before she knew it her feet had failed her, stopping in her tracks right in the centre of the room, partygoers bumping and brushing past her entire she could think straight enough to move out of their way.

John's hair was curlier than usual, tousled slightly until it hung in his face, empty glasses frames sliding down the bridge of his nose. His shirt was unbuttoned halfway down, the bright red 'S' for Superman peeking out from underneath. It took Gwen a long moment to realise how blatantly she was staring.

"Hi," she blurted, far more enthusiastically than she'd hoped for. There came that humiliating flush again, pinkness flooding her face as he let out a chuckle.

"You look... great," John offered earnestly, a grin deepening the dimples in her cheeks. Briefly, Gwen realised that Helen had slipped away, her hand suddenly empty. But she found she didn't mind.

"Clark Kent," She stated, internally cursing her awkwardness, unable to notice the way his smile widened each time she fumbled her words.

"Sure am. And you are-?"

"Agrippina the Younger," Gwen shrugged, trying her hand at feigning nonchalance. "I was gonna go for Anne of Cleves, but Helen pointed out that a hoop skirt probably wouldn't be a good idea for a party."

"Yeah, no, I can see how that might be awkward," He laughed, nodding along. "Hey, you got a drink?"

"Uh," Her brow furrowed with a frown, raising her cup. "Frankie gave me this, but it's, uh... Kinda terrible."

"Oh, God, yeah, you don't wanna drink that," John shook his head, hovering a hand over her shoulder as he gestured towards the kitchen. "Wanna get a beer? Then you can tell me all about Agrippina."

He couldn't help but grin at the way her expression lit up at this, following him eagerly as they wove their way between bodies, the relative quiet in the kitchen like a breath of fresh air.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Helen stood at the punch bowl, ladling another cup full of the cranberry concoction as Nash hovered beside her, a lock of her hair absent-mindedly wrapped around his finger.

"You didn't tell me those two are together," He stated.

"Hm?" Brow arched in question, she looked up at him, following his gaze across the room until she found what he was staring at.

John leant on his shoulder against the fridge door, a bottle of beer balanced in his relaxed grip, still so full it seemed he was yet to take even a single sip. Gwen stood facing him, hands gesticulating ceaselessly as she spoke, gaze fixed on the ceiling like she always did when she was concentrating. After so long spent sharing a room, Helen knew precisely what it looked like when Gwen was rambling about something she'd read, and the sight made her smile. But her smile was nothing next to John's, who was so utterly transfixed that he didn't even appear to notice when someone knocked a glass onto the floor behind him, the sound of shattering glass catching everyone else by surprise.

"Oh, they're not," Helen shook her head slightly, gnawing the inside of her cheek as she paused. "... Yet."

Nash sucked in a breath, hissing through his teeth. "Jesus Christ."

"Yep."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"So... did she kill Claudius?" John asked tentatively, frowning in concentration.

"Well, that's the thing, no one knows for sure," Gwen shrugged.

"Oh, that's good stuff," He uttered, nodding. "I think I'm getting it."

She grinned, opening her mouth to speak again when suddenly the clatter of breaking glass behind him caught her off guard. Her smile dropped. Since John had brought her in here, she'd tuned out the noise, the constant cacophony echoing through from the next room that put her teeth on edge. As long as she concentrated on what she was saying, she could push through it - block it out. The sudden shatter ripped that away from her, tearing her out of her line of thought and dropping her back into the present, where the music was still blaring and everything was still too fucking loud.

Gwen could feel her heartbeat thumping in her ear, a cold sweat forming on her cheeks.

John was still frowning, but there was a pinch in his brow, barely discernible as his expression shifted from focused to concerned.

"Man, it's too loud down here for me," He sighed, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck. "I'm gonna head somewhere quiet, you wanna come?"

He was fine. She knew he was fine. He was so lovely that she wanted to burst into tears.

"Yeah."

His arm was around her as they made a beeline for the stairs, his chest brushing against her back as he herded her away from the crowds, rising up out of the noise like a drowning body coming up for air. Upstairs was practically deserted, and John let out a snort as they passed Kit and Bucky on the way to his room. "They're relentless," He uttered, a slight smile curling her lip, anxiety beginning to slowly melt, thawing the tension in her body.

"Just wait here - I'll be back in a sec, ok?" John asked, leaving her in the hall outside his room as he slipped inside. Gwen nodded as the door clicked gently shut, wringing her hands as she waited for his return.

At the end of the corridor, the sound of laughter caught her attention. The bathroom door was propped open, and Benny leant against the edge of the sink, beaming as Susie filled in the patches in his pale green face paint. Reaching out to her, he straightened her Bride of Frankenstein wig, the pair chuckling to themselves at something he'd said, too wrapped up in each other's presence to notice her intruding gaze.

She sucked in a deep breath, turning to stare at the closed door, passing her weight impatiently from foot to foot. It didn't seem like too much to want that.

Gwen blinked in surprise as the door swung open, a lopsided smile creasing John's cheek. "Alright," He gave a firm nod, ushering her inside. The room gave the distinct impression of having been very hurriedly tidied, a pile of books and clothes peeking out from under the bed. But in the centre of the ceiling, a skylight had been propped open, a step ladder reaching up towards it. Wordlessly, he scaled it, clambering out onto the roof. John disappeared for a second, before his face reappeared through the window, grinning down at her. "C'mon!"

For a moment Gwen paused, staring at the ladder with unease. But a part of her knew that if she waited any longer she'd never go. And she really wanted to go. Sucking in a deep breath, she tugged up her skirt, climbing up one step after another until her head poked up into the night, cold air hitting her cheeks.

His hands found hers, comfortably warm as he helped her out and onto her feet, the roof tiles slightly slippery beneath her sandals. They sat down quietly, side by side, the sound of their surroundings dying with distance. She let out a sigh, breath fogging in front of her.

"I'm sorry," Gwen uttered. "You should be down there, it's your party."

"You kidding? I love it up here," John scoffed, and unlike before, when he was simply trying to make her feel better, he seemed to truly mean it. She smiled, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"So..." He began after a moment's silence. "Where did you get to? Something about Nero."

An involuntary burst of laughter escaped Gwen's throat, making him grin. "You don't have to keep pretending you care about any of that stuff. Thanks, though."

"Well, I care when it's you," John shrugged, leaning back on his elbows. "I like how you tell it."

She snorted, heat flooding her face as she prayed the darkness would mask her blush. "Oh, c'mon."

"I'm serious! You could read me the ingredients off a cereal box and I'd give a shit."

"How much have you had to drink tonight?"

He shrugged again. "Enough that I can tell you this stuff without freaking out."

Gwen shook her head, golden curls sliding over her shoulders. "You sayin' I make you nervous?" She chuckled, forcing a teasing lilt to hide the way her heart was pounding.

"Oh, absolutely."

Gnawing at the inside of her cheek, she raised a hand to her mouth. "That's silly."

"Oh, God, well - you're beautiful. And you're smarter than me - by, like, a lot."

Gwen fought the sudden impulse to roll off the roof.

A few streets over, a firework shot up into the sky, exploding in a golden burst and momentarily bathing them in a flash of flickering, orange light, shadows forming a perfect outline of her features.

John let out a breath, too occupied with staring at her to pay the eruption of sparks any mind.

"You really are beautiful."

She lifted her hands, burying her face in her palms in embarrassment. Beside her, she could hear him shuffling, moving to sit upright beside her again. A gentle finger brushed against her wrist, coaxing her hands away.

"Gwen, hey, I-"

Before he could utter another word, her lips were pressed against his, eyes screwed shut as tightly as they would go as if to protect herself from his reaction. But then his hand was cupping her jaw, glasses pushed wonkily up his nose as he nudged closer against her, tilting his head to kiss her properly.

It was over as soon as it had begun, his chin involuntarily tilting up towards her, chasing her lips as they broke away from his. Gwen let out a giggle, feeling his nose brush against her cheek as a grin made its way across his face.

His hand slowly peeled away from her jaw, and for a moment they were stuck in silence, frozen inches apart as they searched desperately for something to say, unable to meet one another's eye without laughter bubbling in their throats.

A sudden whoop sounded, and Gwen turned her head, hesitantly tearing her gaze from a curl that seemed to hang just perfectly against John's forehead. In the darkness of the front yard, she could just make out Helen, standing down at the far end of the lawn, fists raised in a double thumbs-up, evidently having witnessed the whole thing.

John followed her gaze, letting out a breath of laughter as he spotted her roommate. "Hey, Helen!" He called, waving. Letting out a groan, Gwen hid her face against his shoulder.

"Oh my God."

[shattered-reflections-au]

Fluffvember 6, Windy Day / "Come closer, I can't hear-ahhh too close, too close!"

--- --- ---

November. Wind warning month.

70 km, 80km, 90km, all usual speeds that you could expect on days like these. Days when the trees would shake, their branches littering the roadways.

Days when it was hopeless to go outside with a good hairstyle.

Days when you had to say your mournful goodbyes to your trash can.

Days where said trash can should be in your garage lest it end up 3 blocks away.

It was only 9am. Vio had just barely managed to boil the water for tea before the power went out. A scream was heard from upstairs, soon after Green came running downstairs with a towel draped around his waist. He stared at Vio, Vio looking him up and down. "Water. cold. power out?" he choked out. "yep." Vio said, sipping his tea. "fuck." Green spat, trudging back upstairs. --- 30 minutes later Blue came home.

"Garage closed early. Can't run computer diagnostics or car lifts without power." he grumbled, internally praying to hylia that this was paid time off.

Vio nodded, going back to his reading. "Picked Red up too, apparently the bakery had to close since the water there shut off too." Blue added.

"do you know what caused this?" Vio asked. Blue kicked his shoes off, closing the door hard once Red got inside. "few blocks down a tree fell on some power lines. They shut off the town's power so it doesn't kill anybody."

Red looked deflated as he came in. "the baggutes are going to overproof." he said, defeated.

Vio hid his chuckle behind his mug.

The last one to come home was Shadow, two hours later. "big day for oil lamps today," he said as he slammed the door tight, sweeping up the leaves that blew in with his foot. "also big day for cash tips." he added, shoving a few dollars into the communal change jar. "surprised it took that long for the thrift store to close." Vio commented. Shadow glared at his partner. "it closed an hour and a half ago. The busses are down because of the roads. I had to walk." he said, disgruntled.

---

Cereal for lunch. Cereal for dinner. By 5pm all of Vio, Shadow, and Red's mood candles were methodically spread out across the house. Though, it wasn't enough.

The entire house was almost pitch black. The wind outside was loud. Too loud. Too many scary sounds echoed off the walls. Crashes and whooshes and whistles. Red could not sleep.

Red crept downstairs, clutching a spare blanket tightly as he tried not to think about the scary sounds outside.

He knew Blue was sleeping on the couch, his bedroom window having been hit by a branch and shattering it. Red knew Blue was somewhere in the living room. The problem was that Red couldn't see his s way around the living room. "Blue?" Red called out, looking out for his beloved. Red turned a corner, his hands out tracking along the wall so he didn't run into it.

Faintly, he heard Blue's voice. The winds drowned him out. --- Blue was awake, having been pumped full of adrenaline from his window smashing. Faintly, he heard somebody. A blurry silhouette danced across the far wall, muttering a word that sounded somewhat of his name.

The silhouette walked in front of a candle, revealing its shape.

Short, blanketed, rounded but pointed ears, pudgy. "Red?" Blue called, the figure turned to him and made a few sounds. "Red? Come closer, I can't hear you-" Blue called, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Red ran towards him, hopping on the couch and knocking some of the wind out of Blue. "augh- Red- too close-" Blue choked out. Red just snuggled in, pulling both of their blankets over them. Blue shifted, settling his heavy partner on his chest. Red was warm in the cold house, the perfect blanket. Blue's heartbeat drowned out the scary outside noises. It only took a couple moments for the two to fall asleep right where they were on the couch.

--- The power came back on sometime in the early hours of the morning. Vio came downstairs for his morning cup of tea to see Blue and Red still asleep on the couch.

[magnetarmadda]

For the last day of @tmaappreciationweek, I've done a Somewhere Else statement fic! It's okay, it's a happy ending 💜

[CLICK]

[MUFFLED MEOWS, MORE DISTINCT PURRING, FOOTSTEPS]

[VOICES INCREASING IN VOLUME]

JON

[excitedly] Martin, look at this one!

MARTIN

Jon, you've said that about the last four cats we've looked at!

JON

But this one is perfect!

[FOND LAUGHTER]

MARTIN

If you say so, love.

[SOFT MEOW]

JON

[quietly] You're so soft, and oh so fluffy. [louder] I think his fur is almost the same color as your hair.

MARTIN

[sighing fondly] We're taking him home then, are we?

[LOUD PURRING]

[FOOTSTEPS]

SHELTER EMPLOYEE

Oh, I see you found our newest residents!

JON AND MARTIN

[together] Residents?

SHELTER EMPLOYEE

Yep! They're a bonded pair. The orange cat is usually in front, hiding the black cat. The black cat, poor guy, looks like he's been through a few alley wars. But it's a good sign the orange one likes you—we've been calling him Marmalade, and the black cat Blackberry, one of our kid volunteers was on a toast-themed naming kick that weekend.

[LAUGHTER]

SHELTER EMPLOYEE

I know, I know. They don't yet seem very attached to those names, though, so you'll be able to change them fairly easily. I'm Tabitha, by the way—I'm just going to clean some of the kitten cages while they're out in the day room. Let me know if you need anything!

MARTIN

[distracted] Thanks. 

[PAUSE]

MARTIN

Is it just me, or does the shadow in the back have eyes?

JON

[snorting] That's probably Blackberry. Oh, Martin! He's coming toward us! Quick, put your fingers by the bars.

MARTIN

Yes, dear.

JON

No need to be rude in front of the cats.

[SNORTING]

[PAUSE]

MARTIN

[softly, full of concern] He's very skinny, and it looks like there's spots where his fur isn't quite growing right. 

JON

[equally soft] Just means we'll have to give him lots of love.

MARTIN

Well, we know you have plenty of that to go round.

[FABRIC RUSTLES]

MARTIN

H-hey! Careful there! Shoving me made Blackberry here unhappy.

JON

[muttering] Blackberry. [louder] We need to find them new names.

[LOUD MEOWING]

JON

[laughing] I think they agree.

MARTIN

So, we're taking them home? 

JON

[happily] Yeah, we are. 

MARTIN

I'll go get Tabitha, see what paperwork we have to do. Then I'll go get the carrier from the car. Hopefully, they'll let us get away with the one, since I wasn't expecting two cats. [voice gets softer] Although I probably should have, knowing you.

JON

He's a lot of bluster, don't worry. He's very happy with you both, too, I know. 

[RUMBLING]

JON

Tim will have a field day, though. I don't know how I'm going to live this one down, not on top of him being right about Martin and I hitting it off on a blind date. [laughing] It's been four years, you think he'd let it go. 

[MEOWING]

JON

Marmalade, you haven't even met Tim yet! Sasha will love you, though, she's always wanted a fluffy cat. Oh, and Georgie will be so jealous—she's still sad the Admiral never got as fluffy as she thought he would when he was a kitten.

[SOFTER, CROAKY MEOW]

JON

Why, hello there Blackberry. Yes, I'm more than happy to scratch your ears with my other hand. Four hands in our house means plenty of pets, that's for sure. And since both of our jobs have stayed work-from-home, there's lots of time for cuddling. Oh, well, you both seem quite good at that already. It's very sweet of you to clean Blackberry's head, Marmalade.

[CROAKY MEOW, RUMBLING]

[FOOTSTEPS COMING BACK]

JON

We really will need to give you better names. Don't worry, I've got a list—you'll just have to meow to tell me which ones you like. Sound fair?

[MEOWING]

MARTIN

Convincing them to go along with your plans already? Hardly fair, love.

[MUFFLED KISS]

JON

You know they'll love you more than me anyway. I've got to gain an advantage somehow.

[OFFENDED MEOW]

[LAUGHTER]

[FOOTSTEPS]

TABITHA

Ready to take these guys home?

JON

Absolutely.

TABITHA

Great! Let's get that paperwork done.

MARTIN

We'll be right back, and then, home.

[FOOTSTEPS RECEDE]

[RUMBLING, TWO SOFT MEOWS]

[CLICK]

[armpirate]

Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 8

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit. 

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 16 minutes

Her smile evidently dropped when she managed to see a familiar face as the blond guy opened his brown eyes wide in surprise. Probably because it was the last place she expected to see her at.

—Oh, wow —Y/n finally reacted, lifting her eyebrows as she smiled.

She purposely omitted to even attempt to call him by his name -mainly because she didn't really remember it. She did remember his face though. Of course she did. He had worked in the company as a freelancer when they needed new ideas for a design, although not directly with her team -or her. When he joined the project, she was still her father's assistant so they didn't speak much. But by the little time they spent together back then, she remembered him as someone really nice to be around. And also that white brilliant and perfect smile.

—The world is such a small place —he nodded.

—Do you guys know each other? —San interrupted, stepping forward.

—Yeah, he worked in my company for a few months —she answered.

—Yep —he nodded again—. It's been a lot of time since that though. I didn't expect you to see you here.

—Imagine if now it turns out you're Mingi's boss —Wooyoung chuckled behind them, walking past them to get to his seat on the couch.

Mingi only rolled his eyes at the comment, knowing Y/n was way too nice to be the big asshole he had as a boss and that he didn't know in person yet after starting in his position months back.

—What do you mean? —Hongjoong asked, following Wooyoung with his eyes.

—She's dating San. And thank god we saw her across the street, because he wasn't going to introduce her to us —Wooyoung answered, side eyeing his friend as he spoke.

—I'm really wondering why now —San replied back.

—She'll also be replacing me today —Wooyoung continued, ignoring his comment.

—Shouldn't you be introducing her to us? —Seonghwa asked, alternating his gaze between San and Wooyoung.

—Hongjoong spoke before we could even do that —Wooyoung replied back.

Y/n sighed, thankful to the brunet's words that finally gave out the name of the person that recognized her.

A moment of silence followed after Wooyoung's answer, having all of the eyes in the room falling over San and his eyes lost on the screen before he was finally aware the attention was on him. She pinched his side, finally getting him to react.

—Introduce me —she whispered, turning her head slowly so the other seven boys wouldn't see her.

San started introducing them by following the order they were sitting, skipping Wooyoung and Mingi with his eyes rolling when both of them complained about the tone he used.

The first person he introduced, and that was sitting next to Mingi, was Yunho. By the way his legs were flexing as he sat, she could tell he probably was around the same height as Mingi. He smiled at her in a friendly way, getting her to smile right after. At his left, and sitting on the floor, there was a guy who smiled at her shyly, bowing slightly as San introduced him as Yeosang.

On the other couch, Hongjoong gave her a squared smile when San introduced him again, to go ahead with the boy with longer hair sitting next to him. Seonghwa waved his hand in the air as his big eyes squinted by the -another- perfect smile she'd be jealous of, whispering a silent "Hi". Looking for some more bickering with Wooyoung, San only referred to him as a "Meh", before he went on to introduce the boy with a bowl cut hairstyle, bowing firmly before he heard San introducing him as the baby of the group.

—I'm still older than all of your mental ages combined together.

Y/n couldn't help but snort at that answer, looking back at San when he introduced her to the rest just like he introduced them to her.

—I don't know about you all, but I'm hungry —Yunho mentioned, clapping his hands as he sat forward on the couch.

—We were waiting for you to come to call —Mingi reproached, receiving a glare from his friend right after—. Not like it matters, because I'm just now starting to be hungry.

—Who's calling? —Yeosang asked, looking around for someone to volunteer.

—What are we having?

—Pizza —Wooyoung answered as if it was obvious.

—Again —Jongho threw his head back—. Last time we had that. Why are you choosing?

—Right? We had the exact same problem for lunch —Mingi added himself in the discussion.

—I thought you already moved on from it —he rolled his eyes, before he turned back to Jongho—. Pizza is universal. It's something that everyone likes. What's the problem with it? —Wooyoung whined.

—There's a really nice sushi place... —Seonghwa started speaking, although the others' bickering interrupted what he had to say.

—Is it always like this? —Y/n whispered, leaning a bit in San's direction.

—It's a requirement to be part of this group, apparently —he answered—. Just ignored them.

—No, I like it —she replied with honesty.

The way they were arguing about the smallest thing, and how they teased each other for the minimal thing they said, was only a reflection of how close they all actually were. They were the reflection of that type of friendship she had been looking for, but that always ended up giving up on.

—Y/n is the innocent hand. She could choose today.

Hearing her name out of nowhere, followed by all of their eyes turning to her, caught her off guard.

—I don't really know —she giggled nervously—. Hmm... Honestly, I kinda liked Seonghwa's idea. It's been a while since I've had sushi.

—As long as it's not pizza —Jongho huffed, resting his back against the backrest.

Y/n smiled, moving to also join Yeosang on the floor, not without Mingi, Jongho, Wooyoung and Yunho attempting to get up to leave a spot somewhere in either of the sofas she was walking in between.

—It's alright. I'll sit here —she assured, taking the free spot next to Mingi.

And while all of them were sitting, there was only one person struggling to find a place to sit.

—San, you won't grow taller staying there —Hongjoong teased.

He was aware of the look Y/n was giving him, and how she silently was guiding him to walk next to her. His hands moved nervously as he made the same walk she did, looking at the possible seats: either of the arm rests on the floor. Y/n's soft and small fingers moved faster than he did, enclosing around his forearm to stop him from walking to the empty spot on the floor next to Jongho, in between the two sofas.

As soon as he looked down at her, her eyes pointed to her seat at the same time she dragged her body to the floor, leaving that spot empty again for him.

San felt tempted to insist on her going back to her place, but he knew that'd only annoy her. He moved behind her, just for her to right after molding her body in the space he made up for her. In that position, her head rested in between his two knees, making him sit stiff at the whole new sensation.

When she turned to him, she could see how tense he was, with the way his neck marked and his jaw was raised a little bit higher as he tried to focus on the TV.

Whoever saw him would think that he had never touched a woman in his life.

—How did you meet each other? —Yunho asked, giving a sip to his coke before leaving it back on the coffee table.

—Dating app —she answered—. Right, babe?

San's breath shut, feeling his throat closing, when her hand rested on his knee as she tried to get some back up from him.

—Yeah —he nodded—. That's right. We started seeing each other and then we texted. No, wait.

—Are you okay? —Hongjoong asked.

—Yeah —San sighed—. I meant that we texted and then started seeing each other.

—There isn't much more to say. He kinda hooked me up by the second day —she continued, squeezing his knee.

—Hooked you up? —Jongho raised his eyebrow— Did he pay you to say this?

The room was suddenly filled with huffs and clicks of tongue, before Wooyoung pushed his body as a way to reprend him.

—I'm just saying... because he's usually quiet and shy.

—I'm not quiet with you all —San replied back.

—But you're shy with people from the opposite sex —Wooyoung commented, getting a fistful of the chips that had been prepared on those bowls—. You just stay in a corner.

—Why are you all bringing all this up now? Laugh at how you came here covered in milkshake after trying to flirt with a girl that had a boyfriend, when he was right next to her —San countered, smirking devilishly at his friend who only poked his cheek with his tongue as he smiled—. Or how Hwa ended all over Reddit after he tried to flirt with someone on stories using Legos —San pointed out—. You have no room to talk, so I'd stop annoying me unless you want me to air out all of your dirty laundry.

—But I do want to hear them —Y/n commented in a lower tone—. What's with the Lego story? —Y/n tried to ask Seonghwa, but he just waved his hands in the air and shook his head.

—He said her built was complex like a LEGO Eiffel Tower set —Mingi answered, giggling as he remembered it.

—What's that supposed to mean? —she frowned, looking at the owner of that comment.

—Doubt he knows himself —Yunho snorted.

—She had a LEGO Eiffel tower behind her, I thought she'd understand I was actually praising her.

—Uh, that's not... —Y/n shook her head—. Wait, you're the LEGO man? —she finally remembered, making Seonghwa throw his head back— I did read about you.

—LEGO man? That's a serial killer name —Seonghwa complained.

—If it makes you feel better, no one will know it's you unless you tell them —she tried to comfort him—. Your intention was good though. You just need it to improve the way you phrase it.

—How did San hook you up? —Jongho suddenly asked.

She felt how the man behind her got stiff again, flexing the muscles of his thighs as he tried to think of something to answer before she could.

—He was nice —she simply said—. At first I wasn't looking for anything, but he was so approachable and genuine... So yeah.

San slowly blinked, feeling everything around him going completely silent and black when his focus was solely on her and the way she smiled at him. She seemed so honest about those words, he wasn't sure if she was still lying or if she was giving out some of her real thoughts when talking to him.

—You have nothing to say about me? —she suddenly asked.

His mouth opened a few times, trying to think of what to say, but always stopping midway, looking at her confused.

—That's it —San frowned when she said the sign out loud—. Why are you acting like I'm in this relationship by myself?

—What are you...? —he was going to play along, but his friends got in the way before he could.

—You're the first girlfriend he has —Wooyoung interrupted.

—Yeah, he might be a bit slow. But you're special if you're here —Mingi seconded, squeezing San's shoulder.

Y/n sat back in between his legs, relaxing again when the first attempt to fake an argument failed so miserably. She wasn't even allowed to make a scene properly.

While the rest started talking about something else, Y/n and San exchanged some worried looks, trying to read on the other's face what was the next step to take.

—This isn't working —Y/n commented, when San finally joined her in the narrow kitchen.

She had tried to start a fight a few times already. The last one was excused by how she preferred makis over sashimi when they were ordering their food, only for Jongho and Yeosang to side with her, while Hongjoong and Seonghwa tried to excuse San's confusion with how clueless he sometimes was.

—They like you too much —San answered—. I bet they're probably planning on how to get you to join us on these game nights.

—Okay, let's make them be so disgusted with us that they give us an excuse to start a fight. We could make out in front of them...

—No —San quickly shook his head.

—I mean... If there's something I hate about hanging out with couples is when they're so into each other that they make me uncomfortable.

—We can't do that —he insisted, shaking his head.

—Why not? —her squinted eyes looked at him with an accusing look— If this is a way to keep me from leaving...

—It's not that —he assured her.

Although it wasn't something he didn't think either.

—Then what is it?

San mumbled a few words, rubbing the reverse of his hand over his mouth as he spoke while looking away, only allowing Y/n to understand the word "kiss". When asked to repeat it, he did the same thing, rephrasing what he wanted to say and only allowing her to understand the word "someone".

Her heavy annoyed huff only worked as a warning for the way she held his hands, keeping them on both sides of his body, before she tried to get him to repeat.

—I've never kissed anyone —he finally admitted.

Her eyes widened with his confession, letting go of his hands as she took a step back to set some distance between them.

—You never what? —her head tilted to the side, thinking she got it wrong.

—I've never kissed anyone —he shook his head, speaking slowly—. If we start making out in front of them, they'll tell.

—No one? Not even in school? —her nose scrunched in strangeness.

—That's not the point right now. Can you focus? —he called her out.

Her lower back rested against the white counter, and her arms were crossed over her chest as her gaze got lost somewhere in the kitchen, losing herself deep in thought.

—Why don't I tell them we broke up after tonight? Things didn't work —he shrugged.

—I thought your friends would give you a hard time.

Which, after knowing them for a bit, Y/n understood it would be nothing more than just some innocent teasing.

—I can take it —he nodded—. I dragged you here, it's also unfair to give you a hard time by putting on a show. You seemed like you were having fun.

He could feel the vibrations of her laugh on his leg whenever she rested her cheek on his knee, and she also managed to join the conversations quite easily -to the point of joining on the teasing and jokes his friends did to one another.

He wasn't wrong.

Y/n felt comfortable around those seven guys in less than half an hour, and even she found some fun in pretending to date San whenever her arm wrapped around his leg or her cheek squeezed against him to rub on him like a cat.

After that conversation, they just focused on having a good time.

She managed to snuggle next to him as Mingi changed his place to the spot on the floor next to Seonghwa. Her heart skipped a bit when his knee rubbed against hers accidentally. Although every bit of excitement disappeared when he apologized in a whisper, closing his legs a bit more.

—Here —she whispered, offering him a red packet after she saw him looking for something—. I saw you didn't ask for it on your order, so I included it on mine —she continued after his confused look.

San remembered the long rant she wrote down in their chat about spicy food, and how she was never able to handle it. She didn't ask for the wasabi because she wanted it, but because he wanted it and she knew. The same way she threw that rent, his response right after was about how much he enjoyed spicy food.

—Thanks.

Her lips were pressed together as she dedicated him a squared smile, nodding while her fingers gently caressed his biceps.

—Let's make the teams —Wooyoung called everyone out, gulping the piece of food he was chewing—. Actually, I'll make them since I'm not playing.

—What does that have to do with anything? —Yeosang muttered.

—Y/n, Mingi, Hongjoong and Yeosang together —he continued, ignoring the comment—. San, Yunho, Hwa and Jongho.

—Ah, we are damned —Mingi threw his head back.

—It's not fair. Why does that team have two good players? —Hongjoong quickly opposed.

—Because I say so.

Her body squirmed, tilting her head to the side when she felt a warm breath on the curve of her neck.

—If you want to change teams, tell him. I bet he'll make an exception if it's for you —his voice sounded heavier and raspier with that whisper.

—Don't convince your girlfriend to change teams —Wooyoung called him out—. Respect my decision.

—It's alright —she dedicated to San a reassuring smile.

A game that started as something equalized, almost tied with the numbers of deaths, quickly changed to benefit one of the teams. Jongho kept calling his team out with every shot aimed whenever either of the four were, while Yunho and Seonghwa kept concentrating on looking for each one of the people of the other team on the map.

—It's almost over —Hongjoong celebrated.

—Let's go, let's go, let's go —Yeosang cheered.

As San moved to get out of his hideaway, his elbow rubbed against her, getting her to freeze completely after such a simple and stupid touch. That strong electricity ran through her arm, disabling her senses. At least until San's team cheered with growls and shouts their victory, suddenly getting up from their places.

One battle came after another one, until Y/n was finally aware of the time. The next day she promised she'd go with her father to a business brunch with one of their biggest suppliers, and she doubted she'd be able to if she stayed there for a little longer.

—You sure you can't stay? —Seonghwa asked, looking up to her with big eyes.

—I don't want you to leave so early —Wooyoung pouted.

Early... It was already two in the morning.

—I have something to do tomorrow, but I promise next time I'll stay longer.

That answer seemed to work on Wooyoung, who threw a victorious smile at her before turning back to the TV. It worked for him and the rest of the boys, who were giving her sad looks as they tried to convince her to stay for thirty minutes more, but a sudden sadness took over most part of her chest when she was aware there would be no next time. That was the first and the last time she'd meet with them, and San.

That was for sure.

—I'll walk you to your car —San walked with her.

—I parked it right at the entrance, don't worry —she assured him, stopping by the door.

As she opened the door, San got ready to hug her, wrapping his arms carefully around her and hiding his face on the curve of her neck, taking advantage of the position he was in and how his friends weren't able to see his lips moving.

—Thank you so much for today —it was a barely audible phrase, just enough for her to hear it.

With just a smile, and a soft caress on his cheek that had his insides jumping in excitement, Y/n moved closer to him.

All of his friends turned to each other, smiling as they were witnesses of the cute scene their best friend was pulling. While, back on their perspective, Y/n stepped back after kissing San's chin, just to make it seem like she was giving him a peck on the lips from the place where his friends were.

—Send me a text when you get home.

If he had said it a little louder, she'd have believed it was part of the act. But San whispered it to her, with blushed cheeks, as he nervously smiled.

He indeed wanted to make sure she was okay.

She waved to his friends one last time, before she finally stepped outside and started walking down the stairs.

On her way back home, she kept rethinking everything that had happened ever since she met San earlier that day, comparing her expectations to their first meeting when they were just texting to actually meeting him after so long.

It kind of scared her thinking there would be no chemistry when they met each other, or that she'd just feel so out of place as she had done with other previous dates. But even as annoyed as she was with him, she enjoyed every fake touch and caress. She even regretted not actually kissing him on the lips when she had the chance. The disappointing feeling didn't take long to appear as she was reminded that it was her last opportunity to do it. She was indeed trying to convince herself of not seeing San again.

She dropped her bag over the couch, falling next to it right after, taking her phone out of the pocket of her pants to tell San she was already home.

"Thank you so much for today. I know you shouldn't have done it, but it meant a lot to me that you helped me. I promise I'll give you back your subscription as we agreed this afternoon. I wish I hadn't been such a dumbass, so this wasn't the last text I'm going to send to you. Sorry again for ghosting you. It was never my intention to hurt you or upset you".

She typed several times, saying in different ways how that didn't have to be a goodbye, but she always ended up deleting everything she wrote.

It would never work anyway. 

[urfavoritedcwhore]

the russian boy//part sixteen

chapter two

warnings: swearing, mild smut, smoking

lowercase intended

not proof read

part sixteen, chapter two: the movie

as i get get to the top step i look around for theo's room. i open a door at the very end of the hallway, and go step inside to see a room covered in music posters, and a bed thats unmade. as i step inside i see a fake bb belt on the floor. yep. this is definitely theo's room. i look around in his dresser drawers for a minute before finding a drawer full of pants. i dig through them, making sure to not unfold any of them, and eventually find a pair of pj shorts. these are definitely women's shorts. super short, flannel red print, and sparkly draw strings. i step outside his room and yell down into the living room, "theo! can i wear the red flannel shorts, they look like they're women's shorts?", i say holding them up inspecting them. "yeah sure, i think they're jamie's....or maybe they were sara's....or maybe kelsey's.", he yells back to me. damn okay theo i see you. i go back into his room and strip the sweatpants off of me. when i put on the shorts i realize whoever they belong to must either be a bit bigger than me, or they must really like baggy clothes. i have to tie the drawstring tight to keep them from falling down. i consider taking off boris sweater, but i figure it would be too bold to come downstairs in short shorts and a sports bra. i walk out of theo's room and make my way downstairs. i feel boris's eyes on me the whole time im walking down. i get to the living room and sit down on the couch, positioning myself in the same way i was sitting before i got up. i pull the blanket back over boris and i, and almost immediately his hand attaches back to my thigh likes its a magnet. i decide to not give him a reaction...for now. he tightens his grip around my thigh as he begins drawing small circles on it again with his thumb. he continues doing this for about 15 minutes. as i watch the movie im beginning to get utterly freaked out by it. one particular scene makes me jump into boris's arms like a child. i switch positions and crawl over him, propping my back up on the couches arm rest. i'm basically on top of him, im squeezed in between him and the arm rest, my ass half on his lap and half sinking in the sliver of space i've scooted my way into.

as soon as i get settled, his hand returns to my thigh once again, rubbing it slowly up and down. "is ok?", he whispers in my ear, sending shivering down my spine. i nod, not taking my eyes off the screen. "use your words. i making you nervous hm?", he whispers cockily in my ear. EXCUSE ME? i swear this man has me wrapped around his lengthy ass fingers. alright you fucker, my turn. i smile and lick my bottom slightly as i turn my head to meet his gaze. "oh no, your not making me nervous. i'm just wondering if my thigh is the only thing you can trace circles on.", i whisper innocently before turning my head right back around to watch the movie. i see his jaw slightly drop from the corner of my eye. he must have not expected my words, cause he's silent for the next thirty seconds. however, the silence doesn't last long, he brings his lips back to my ear, "trust me lalka, if i wasnt a gentleman, and potter wasnt here, i'd show you everything these fingers do.", he tells me, i can practically hear the smirk i'm sure is planted on his face. funny how his english is almost perfect when he's talking like this to me. "i'm sure you would. all talk, hm? maybe you should drop the gentlemen morale for a little while.", i whisper in a voice that's so low while my head is pointed to the tv i'm not even sure he can hear me. "i'll have you whining my fucking name, i can promise you that.", he says as he grips my thigh especially tight. OH? he definitely sees the expression on my face because i hear him let out a small chuckle. time to play a little game i like to call: how much self control does boris have. i reach under the blanket and grab his hand, slowly moving it up my inner thighs. right when his fingers are about to hit the spot i've been trailing them towards he moves his hand from my grip and trails back down my inner thigh, lightly pinching my skin as he does so. he lets out a low throaty chuckle and makes a "tsk" noise as he takes his free hand and turns my face towards his. his eye brows are furrowed and a smirk is on his face. alright. i'll try harder. i lean my head forward as if im going in for a kiss, then pass by his lips moving my head to his ear. "please bor?", i say in a whiny voice. he grabs my face immediately and turns my head to get access to my ear. "impatient are we? whiny girls don't get what they want. good girls who do what they're told do. are you going to be a whiny girl, or a good girl?", he says moving his hand up my thigh all the way under to my shirt to my left boob. "a good girl.", i say softly. i almost let a whimper escape my lips when i feel his cold hand palming my breast, but cover it up with a fake small cough so that theo doesn't hear. yes yes, i know theo knows about boris and i, but still im not tryna make him uncomfortable. "im sorry, i couldn't hear you.", boris says still beside my ear. i can feel his breath on my neck. this is absolutely positively making me feral. i repeat myself, only loud enough for boris to hear, "a good girl.". "that's better", he says before placing a small kiss on my neck and letting go of my face. ok so i lost that game. boris not only has self control, but he has apparently read the manual on exactly what to say to get me horny as fuck. also it's tweaking me out how good his English is when he's talking "dirty" to me. it's like a whole new boris has just emerged...and im heavily fuckin with it.

his hand continues to rest under my shirt as we watch the movie silently. i know he's having fun with this because every 10 minutes he brushes his fingers lightly across my nipples, and lets out a low chuckle as he sees my breath hitch. i'm gonna try something, bare with me. i lean forward a bit, moving my back from the are rest, and i pretend to be stretching forward. i bend far enough to touch my ankles and as i begin to sit back up, i let my hand lightly brush against his dick. i knew it. mans is rock fuckin hard. just as boris looks like he's going to say something, theo turns to us. "i'm gonna make popcorn, you two want any?", he asks getting up. boris quickly removes his hand from under my shirt as he and i simultaneously shake our heads no. i look back at the screen and see that the movie is over. as theo walks over to the kitchen, boris stands up, "i come back, don't worry.", he says moving a strand of hair out of my face. he smirks at me, then turns around to walk down a hallway on the left of the couch. that was certainly interesting. my face feels hot, and the rest of my body feels cold from boris's absence. i take my phone off of the side table and check the time, 6:49 pm. as i begin to turn my phone over, it buzzes.

boris

*one image attachment*

you driving me crazie.

i see the notification on my lock screen and immediately look behind me to check if theo's lurking near me. i see him in the kitchen, fidgeting with the microwave. i smile and take a deep breath as i open my phone and press my "messages" app. i open boris's contact. holy fuck. let's just ignore the typos in the text and talk about the picture on my screen. boris is standing in front of a bathroom mirror, holding up his shirt enough for me to see the outline of his dick pressing up against his jeans. my eyes stare at his jeans for a good moment, but something else catches my attention. i don't know i didn't notice the first night we met, and he got into the pool only wearing his boxers. but he has a tattoo on the very bottom of his stomach right above his dick.

(reference pic at bottom of post)

this, my friends, is the straw that broke the camel's back. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH WHEN I SEE THISSSS. i text him back quickly.

boris<3

*one attachment image*

you driving me crazie.

your the one teasing me.

read 6:52 pm

he comes back into the living room, phone in hand, shaking his head and smiling. he sits back down beside me, pulling me down and laying the back of my head on his lap. "i didn't know you have a tattoo.", i say looking up at him while he runs his fingers through his hair. he looks down at me smirking, "you like it, eh?", he says to me. "it's sexy.", i tell him in a low voice as theo comes back into the living room, popcorn in hand. boris leans down and kisses me softly on the lips, before breaking away. "maybe i let you taste it later.", he says in a voice barley above a whisper. "let her taste what?", theo asks as he plops himself back down on the chair and throws a piece of popcorn to popchyk. boris looks up at him with a smile, "my tattoo.", he say nonchalantly with a shrug. my face turns bright red and i prop myself up on my elbows, before turning around to look at theo. "oh cmon dude i don't wanna know that.", theo says crinkling his face. "you ask potter, i tell you.", boris says with a chuckle. "lucy don't do it, if you lick him you may get some foreign disease.", theo says to me with a smile. "noted, thank you theo.", i say with a giggle before plopping my head back down on boris' lap. boris looks down at me and winks with a smile before looking back up at the tv. i hear two people talking from the speakers and assume theo put on another movie, but i decide to continue staring at boris as he watches the movie. after about five minutes of just sitting and watching boris, my eyes feel heavy. i decide it's okay to close them for a while. i drift into a dream as i hear the tv in the back of my mind.

i wake up to boris shaking my shoulder gently. i open my eyes. " you want smoke with me and potter?", he says with a smile when he sees my eyes open. i crinkle my eyebrows in suspicion of his words. do i want smoke with theo and him? my half asleep mind fills in the words absent from boris's sentence. i sit up and rub my eyes, "do i want to smoke with you guys?", i ask him yawning. "yes. i say it wrong?", he asks me as he combs out my messy bangs with his fingers. "no, not really. i understand what you're saying, but make sure to say 'do you want to' instead of 'you want', if you're ever asking anyone else that. if you don't they may think your trying to fight them.", i say with a giggle. he looks confused, "smoke means fight?", he asks genuinely interested. "sometimes it does.", i say stretching. theo chimes in, "i've already tried to explain it to him, he doesn't understand it.", theo says as he appears out of the kitchen holding a Gatorade bottle. boris just shrugs and helps me off the couch. "what time is it?", i ask boris as i put on my shoes. he glances down at his phone, "9:23", he tells me. "oh shit", i say remembering my plan of going home at 9:30. "what's wrong?", boris asks looking at my worried. "no nothing, i just have to go home. i wanna be there when my mom gets home.", i tell him grabbing my phone from the side table. "i take you home, we can smoke on the way.", boris says with a smile. "thank you bor.", i say leaning up and pressing a quick peck on his cheek. "i'm coming too, you two are not about to smoke without me.", theo says before heading to the front door. boris and i follow behind him as he walks out the door, and up to boris's car. we all get in and theo reaches in the glove box, pulling out a small pre rolled joint. he lights it and takes a few puffs before handing it to me. i lean back in my seat and inhale the smoke, releasing it from my nose after a second or two. we all are pretty much silent as boris drives, we pass around the joint until we reach my house. "see ya tomorrow!", i tell them as i hop out of the car. i go up to boris's window and kiss him. hopefully i see him tonight.

a/n: forgive me for this part, but i must give the people what they yearn for.💋

(reference pic)

[madrone33]

I finally listened to Hadestown! 🎉

Starting with the Original Cast Recording, ‘cause might as well do it in release order. Loved it! Groovy music. Snickered. Cried. Wrote down my reaction as I went, so if you're chill with rambled thoughts and observations, here you go lol

(Soz for any typos, I was touch typing most of the time, and I've edited it but probs missed stuff)

Road to Hell (Live)

Oh it’s JAZZY. Huh. Didn't expect that, but I am living.

I like how at the start they’re simulating a train’s chugging.

Those call and response harmonies tho *chef's kiss*

Kinda reminds me of Udad.

Oh that’s Hermes!

“It’s a sad song” he says, while singing the boppiest of bops.

I like that “suitcase full of summertime” line.

“About someone... who tries.” Oho, we’re gettin into it now! *rubs hands together*

Also, I completely get now why Jorge said that first draft of EPIC: The Musical Hermes was like Hadestown.

Livin' It Up on Top (Live)

That’s a smooth transition👌

Persephone’s voice is really cool. Kinda rough texture?

Oh I didn’t realise Persephone and Hades would be having a turbulent relationship in this.

Oooh Orpheus’ voice is smooth.

They’re all so happy huh. Welp, you know there’s gonna be a crash in their future.

Orpheus seems really grateful for Persephone’s... graciousness? When he said that she'll always fill their cups and they'll raise them to her and stuff. Theory: either she’ll have a soft spot for him later, or he’ll feel betrayed and blindsided by the more cold side of her later.

All I've Ever Known (Live)

I don’t know anything about Eurydice, but is this her song?

Ah yeah Orpheus is singing, so it must be.

Oop. Foreshadowing.

Way Down Hadestown (Live)

Hermes is back!

“Bored to death” HA

“Graveyard” wow the puns/metaphors are going hard XD

I can’t tell who’s singing lmao. This is like when I listened to Hamilton for the first time. I’ll need lyrics, or familiarity RIP

The coins as the percussion/tambourine is a nice touch.

Hades’ voice is DEEP.

They haven’t mentioned gods yet, I don’t think? Just the Fates, right? It sounds more like a mining operation metaphor for mythos right now, hmm.

Epic II (Live)

King of diamonds and spades - like the playing card suits, but also like the mining operation.

It’s the La la la la thing from Wolfy’s animatic! Almost. A different rendition - I bet I'll hear that later 👀

Why is it called Epic II? Where’s 1? Am I missing something?

Chant (Live)

Oh they’re doing overlapping meodies!!

Ah wait this is Eurydice now, gotta go back a few seconds to catch that. I keep getting her mixed up with Persephone 😅

Oh now we’ve got Eurydice and Orpheus relationship troubles? Huh, I kinda assumed they’d be the perfect couple till her death.

And a semi callback to her song, nice.

Hay Little Songbird (Live)

DAMN his voice is deep!

Is this Eurydice??

Is- Is Hades seducing her? To work for him of smth? Ummm.

Not the canary!

That shaker sounds like a rattlesnake, and it does not bode well for a little bird.

When the Chips are Down (Live)

Oh hey I was right! It is a metaphorical rattlesnake!

Does she choose to go to the Underworld of her own volition? I thought she like- died.

Gone I'm Gone (Live)

She does??

Ouch. She sounds so resigned.

Is this a metaphor for her starving to death? Oof.

The harmonies!!

Wait for Me (Live)

“Six feet under” oh yep.

“Lay low, stay outta sight” - getting Hamilton's Stay Alive vibes.

“Don’t look back” ah. FORESHADOWING.

Ohhh the River Styx being a high wall is so smart!

“And don’t look no one in the eye” I must be too deep in the Odyssey related fandoms, because I'm seeing puns where there are none lmao

The HARMONIES!

Poor Orpheus, but I mean, he was kinda being a bit… naive? If he didn’t prepare for winter and just went off in his own head to make songs?

Why We Build the Wall (Live)

Free from who?

Enemy? 👀

(Yes, I'm aware I'm being led into asking all the questions he wants me to ask, but in my defence, it's very effective.)

Oh huh. Wasn't expecting it to be poverty, tho maybe I should've.

Him calling them “My children” plus the chanting is uh. Why does this sound like cult propaganda?

His voice sounds like the Ozymandias poem guy.

Also giving Frollo “She ran, I pursued” vocal vibes.

“Behind closed doors” - ominous.

Ha! Ok nice subversion.

Our Lady of the Underground (Live)

Persepone is a drug dealer XD

That’s a strange note on “there’s a crack in the wall”

Oh no, am I supposed to remember all these band member names? *crying*

Way Down Hadestown II (Live)

Bringing back motifs I see.

The pickaxes as percussion is cool.

Oop, Eurydice is getting a bit of a wake up call.

Chant II (Live)

Ooooh does the ‘backdoor’ Hermes meant, mean that Orpheus doesn’t have to ‘die’ to get there? ‘Cause he didn’t sign anything, which is a metaphor for him not actually being dead in the myth, so he can still leave.

“Hungry for the underworld” - the pomegranate?

And now Eurydice and Orpheus are singing half the La la la la tune each as if to each other from across the Underworld!

Ooh I LIKE those slant rhymes! "Young man, you can strum your lyre, I have strung the world in wire."

Oh this is where Orpheus sings his plea!! I know this is a thing because of Udad's Underworld Blues lol.

Epic III (Live)

The harmonies 🥺

Oh! It’s that part from Wolfy's animatic :O

I’m tearing up bro.

Just thinking that Eurydice was so upset with Orpheus for focusing on writing his song about Hades and Persephone, but it's that very song that is giving him a chance to sway Hades' mind. But on the other hand, if he'd focused less on the song, he never would've had to use it, y'know?

Word to the Wise (Live)

Ha the Fates(?) doing Hades’ inner monologue like, yeah bro u screwed yourself.

Uh oh this is probs where Hades comes up with the ultimatum. Wait no don't-

His Kiss the Riot (Live)

Those strings are creepy.

Belladonna? Oh the poisonous flower.

Did he call Orpheus the Jack of Hearts?

That acordian is awesome.

Fuck, I knew it.

He sounds like the guy who does the creepily ominous monologue in Micheal Jackson's Thriller.

Promises (Live)

Oh huh. It’s my theory from the 2nd song but it's Eurydice feeling betrayed that the world isn't always plentiful and not Orpheus?

Those strings are gorgeous!

Oh! A duet!

When the couple actually works out their shit:

“I do” omgggg!

KEEP WALKING. DONT LOOK BACK.

Wait for Me II (Live)

Aww that’s nice. Persephone and Hades are gonna try too!

Oh no not the “wait” like in Hurricane-

Doubt Come In (Live)

Oh noooooo

KEEP GOING. JUST KEEP GOING. SHE’S WITH YOU

OH NOOOO DON’T FALTER

LISTEN TO HER! HOLD ON! KEEP GOING!

... Oh god

Road to Hell II (Live)

NO THERE'S A FUCKING AD

Hermes sounds so sad but resigned. Like, 'Oh well. I knew it would turn out like this, but I'd hoped.' Which like. SAME.

The instruments stripped away so it's only silence and one voice is so good.

I can just imagine Orpheus collapsed shell shocked on stage as Hermes not unkindly pushes him to go on.

That reprise and ending is so fucking good AHHH omg no regrets. Some regrets. Whatever, it was good.

... Time to listen to it again with lyrics :D

And then I'm gonna listen to the Original Broadway Cast Recording!

[jasntodds]

Caving In [10]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 17,220 

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, canon typical things, canon violence, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, angst, there’s a mention of dissociation in a nonchalant manner, a mention of drug addiction, reader and jason share 1 braincell while gar gets to have his own, it’s the start of the deathstroke chapters so lol, kidnapping

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: Should I tell you guys who the endgame is? lol Because I do know that and have it all plotted out lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​ and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

When Dick comes back to the tower, Rose is still with him. The four of you are collectively surprised until you find out it’s because there was a bomb in the jeep that almost killed the two of them. That’s a fair reason to have a second thought about staying at the tower. But, that brings up the perfect opportunity for you, Gar, and Jason to tell Dick about Deathstroke being Rose’s dad. Dick didn’t have a reaction you could read well but asked to see what you all found, completely choosing to ignore how you found out. That’s a discussion for another time.

In the comms lab, all of you gather around the computer where everything about Rose and Deathstroke is still pulled up for Dick to see.

“That’s Rose’s father?” Rachel asks.

“Yep. The one and only Deathstroke.” Jason’s voice has hints of amazement, the smallest of grins pulling at the left corner of his mouth. Of course, Jason would find it fascinating.

“Is that somebody you know?” Rachel asks, turning to look at Dick.

“Kind of, old Titans business.” Dick says, keeping a straight face and you raise your brows. Yeah, old Titans business as in he killed one of them.

“Check it,” Gar brings up another screen. “Former Delta Force Commando part of hive.” Gar says, the last part almost sounding like a question. “Select soldiers who underwent a series of experimental bio-enhancements.” Gar pauses for a second. “Huh, out of the thirty-five trial subjects, the only one to survive was Slade Wilson.” Gar pauses for another second reading the screen. “Interpol says he retired years ago after the death of his son, Jericho. I-I tried having the computer find something--”

“I’ll take it from here.” Dick cuts Gar off, walking over to him and exiting out of the screens with Rose and Slade.

All of the you watch him with suspension but before anyone can question him, the security alarm goes off. Dick pulls up the screen to the front door where three people are standing.

“So, I guess you changed the code.” The woman with dark hair says.

“Finally.” Rachel says, a large smile on display as she sounds relieved.

“Who’s here?” You ask, looking around the room, not able to see onto the smaller monitor in front of Dick.

“You’ll love them.” Rachel beams, walking over to you and grabbing your hand to pull you along. “Donna, Dawn, and Hank.” Rachel starts as the two of you walk down the hallway, the two boys right behind you. “Donna is Wondergirl.” Rachel starts.

“Sorry, what now? Wondergirl like THE Wondergirl?” Your voice raises, excitement flooding your tone.

“Yep! Dawn, the one with white hair, she’s Dove and Hank is Hawk.” Rachel explains.

“The original Titans, okay.” You nod your head and you are so excited.

The original Titans, that’s awesome, actually one of the coolest things that’s ever happened. They’re real superheroes and it’s Wondergirl. One of the coolest heroes ever. And to top it off, that means the tower is gaining two more women in the tower which is always a plus. Rachel and the boys, including Jason, actually seem really excited to see them which is all a good sign to you.

“You guys have no clue how much this place misses you.” Rachel says as she greets Dawn.

Dawn embraces her in a hug. “This place, huh?”

“Mostly just me.” Rachel says.

“And me, too.” Gar says before he gets his own hug from Dawn, you staying back and observing. It is weird that this is like a thing. They’re all…friends.

“Hey, you’re new.” Hank says from the back, looking behind Gar to you.

You nods. “I am.” You step forward awkwardly, Gar gesturing a hand out to introduce you.

“This is Y/n.” Gar beams.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/n.” Dawn’s voice is sweet and soft. “I’m Dawn, he’s Hank, and that’s Donna.” She says as she jerks her head towards Donna who’s just finished giving Rachel a hug.

“You, too. Original Titans.” You say, a gleaming smile coming to your face. You’re nearly bouncing with excitement while trying not to make it seems obvious how cool this is.

“That’s us.” Hank says, a little exasperation in his voice. “Got any…talents we should know about?” Hank asks.

You hold your hands up, as if to be surrendering before your palms start glowing. That catches everyone’s attention. “Acid generation.”

“And combat clairvoyance.” Jason says from his spot near the fireplace. He doesn’t do the whole ‘welcome back’, ‘glad to see you again’ reunions even if he is glad to have them around.

“Well, alright then.” Hank nods, seeming to approve.

“Did Dick find you?” Dawn asks.

“He did.” You keep it short, not wanting to go over the play-by-play yet again.

“He has a thing for strays.” Donna says, giving you a quick smile.

“Noticed.” You laugh softly.

“Where’s Kory?” Rachel asks, looking to Donna.

You look to Gar for clarification. "The cool alien that sounds like a badass?"

"Yeah," Gar chuckles. "That's Kory.

Dick walks up from behind you and Gar, gaining the entire room’s attention. He asks if they were followed but it doesn’t seem like they were. You, Gar, Jason, and Rachel look around, confused by the question but none of you have the nerve to ask.

“Can you guys give us a minute, please?” Dick asks the four of you.

None of you question him and just do as he asks, Jason hanging back a second wanting to be involved but Dick asks him to leave, too. The four of you go off to your rooms to change for training practice. That’s more than likely what Dick wants you to do while he talks to the older Titans anyway. And it’s a pretty easy way to waste time as you wait for further information. So, you all get changed and head to the training room.

You run through a few drills before agreeing to start a sparring session the way Dick wants you to train. Blindfolds and wooden swords, preparing for the day someone tries to take your other senses from you. You have specific instructions to try and ignore the throbbing in the back of your head while you spar because ‘one day it may not be there and you shouldn’t rely on it’. You just roll your eyes whenever Dick says that. It always sounds so dumb even if he might be right. Whatever Jerry did to you, there isn���t any telling if it’s actually permanent. So, you do your best to ignore it.

The four of you get your blindfolds on, taking positions on the mat with your wooden swords and arm pads to protect yourselves. You stretch your shoulders while Gar hunkers towards the floor, Rachel moving her neck side to side and Jason preparing to attack the three of you. It’s never on purpose, but you do tend to gang up on him a little. Jason is just a force when sparring. It’s like the three of you don’t stand a great chance unless you end up working together. It’s never planned but it seems to always play out that way in the end, with you still usually losing.

“Ready?” Jason asks.

“Yep.” You say.

“Ready.” Rachel confirms.

“Let’s go.” Gar says, Gar and Jason the most serious sounding of the four of you.

Gar lunges forward first, his sword almost hitting Jason as Jason swings at Rachel. You swing your sword near Gar, tapping his arm. And the sparring begins. The throbbing in your head is annoying. It’s not painful but annoying. One of the good things about sparring with three people is everyone is fighting for their lives at the same time. You have a harder time figuring out where the throbbing is pointing in a situation like this because ignoring it isn’t exactly that easy.

When you’re just sparring with Jason or Gar, the throbbing is specifically located wherever they are. If they’re behind you, it’s in the very back of your head right at the base. But if they’re to the side, the throbbing switches and leans closer to whatever side they’re on. This is different though because all three of the others are coming from all different directions and it actually forces you to figure out where they are based on movement and the sounds they make, the sounds of their feet, the wooshing of the air. It’s not easy. The throbbing is still distracting.

Jason hits Gar in the back, sending him forward and in a quick motion, he gets you in the stomach, sending you right into Gar as you both fall to the ground. Before even taking a breath, Jason smacks Rachel in the head, sending her to the ground.

“Houston, we have contact!” Jason yells as he rips his blindfold off.

“You okay?” Gar asks as he takes his blindfold off, still on the floor with you.

“Yeah, you?” You ask, taking your own blindfold off only for you to see a cloud of black stringy smoke coming out of Rachel.

The two of you get to your feet, watching with a sense of worry and a touch of horror. You’ve never seen Rachel’s powers before but now you consider yourself lucky for that. You knew it was a little strange and it is dangerous. Rachel doesn't have much control over it and she tried to explain it to you in a little more detail but seeing it is a completely different story. It's a bit terrifying to say the least.

“Are we still sparring?” Jason asks, getting the sense that Rachel is definitely not sparring.

“That doesn’t look good.” You mutter to Gar. 

“Rachel?” Gar asks with caution but not daring to move toward her.

Rachel’s eyes glow red with the gem-like piece in the center of her forward while she gets to her feet and faces Jason. The slime-like sometimes surrounds her before she lunges forward and grabs Jason by the neck, levitating them both far above the ground. Gar and you watch in a sense of horror as the dark material circles Rachel and Jason.

“Rachel.” Jason chokes out.

Rachel looks to the side with the real swords, tilting them towards Jason. Your mouth falls open as you stand in a mix of panic and shock.

“What the fuck do we do? We have to do something!” You panic to Gar.

“I-I don’t know!” He says. “Um…shoot…acid at them, I guess?” The comment is more facetious than literal.

You narrow your eyes at him. “And make her more angry?!”

“Rachel stop!” Gar urges and that seemed to be all it takes.

Rachel’s eyes widen, the red fading immediately as she drops Jason to the floor. He lands hard on his back while Rachel lands easily on her feet. You immediately rushes over to Jason while Gar stands in the corner, almost too afraid to move from his spot. Jason brushes you off as he gets to his feet, storming over to Rachel.

“You stay away from me, you fucking freak.” Jason’s voice is ragged.

Rachel’s eyes are wide with the remark but you can’t exactly blame Jason. Rachel almost killed him. Just last night, the four of you were discussing if Rose should stay or she’d kill you all. But, Rachel, who does live here, actually did almost kill Jason. All you and Gar can do from your spots if give a wince.

“Everything okay?” Dick walks in just in time, seeing the four of you not looking so good.

Everyone looks to Dick but stays silent for a few seconds. Gar doesn’t wanna get Rachel in trouble or piss Jason off further so he stays silent. You’re right along with Gar, not wanting to make either one of them angrier. And you wouldn’t want them to tell Dick if you suddenly lost control.

“No, it’s not.” Jason breaks the silence walking over to Dick. “Look, I don’t like being left out of whatever plans you relics are cooking up out there, alright?” Jason’s voice raises as he points a finger at Dick.

Dick lets out a scoff, a humored grin pulling at his lips. “You didn’t miss anything.” Dick assures him. “Gar,” Dick jerks his head at Gar. “I need ya.”

“Hey, what about me?” Jason asks.

“Keep practicing.” Dick says before walking off, Gar giving the room an apologetic glance before following behind him.

Jason walks back over to Rachel, fire in his steps. “You need to have that shit looked at…by like a fucking priest.” Jason's words are venomous as he storms off.

Rachel stands there for a second before turning to look at you. You’re on your feet again, giving her an apologetic look. Jason might be your friend but he does hit below the belt sometimes. Of course, you get it. Rachel definitely could have killed him and that’s terrifying, you know from first-hand experience but he should know Gar and you would have found a way to step in if she were going to kill him. You would have shot acid at Rachel if you needed to. He was fine and he is fine, seemingly at least. He should cut Rachel some slack.

“You okay?” You ask walking over to Rachel.

“I didn’t mean to.” Rachel says, her voice filled of defeat.

“Yeah, I know.” You nod. “He was kind of mean.” You scrunch your nose. “I’m sorry about him.”

“It's not your fault. He’s just an asshole.” Rachel rolls her eyes.

“He is.” You agree. “He is my friend though so I feel I should apologize on his behalf.” You chuckle softly. “Seriously, are you okay though? I mean…with….whatever that was?”

“Yeah,” Rachel nods softly. “I try to control it but it just happens sometimes.”

“Like the scratches?”

“Yeah, I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you tried meditating?” You question, Rachel furrowing her brows at you. “I mean, in theory, it should work, right? Calm you down, ease your mind of the bullshit. I guess…I don’t know. I didn’t meditate or anything but I dissociated enough that it worked, not that that’s a good example. But, maybe in the same sense that meditation could help you control it. It’s worth a shot, right?” You offer.

Rachel lets out a sigh. “Yeah, maybe.” Rachel nods softly. “Thank you.”

“‘Course.” You give her a soft smile. “I’m gonna go check on the little shit and make sure he’s not doing something fucking stupid.” You roll your eyes. “If you wanna talk more about it though, just lemme know.” You give Rachel a kind smile and Rachel nods.

You go to find Jason who’s made it to his room by the time you get there. He’s blaring his music, door shut. You roll your eyes as you make a fist, slamming it against the door so he can hear it over the music. You’ve come to figure out Jason listens to a lot of death metal a lot louder when he’s upset about something. It’s only a few seconds before Jason swings the door open, nearly pulling it from the hinges.

“What?” He asks, venom in his voice and jaw clenching.

Jason isn’t in the mood for talking about it. It’s a thing that happened and on top of that, Dick wants Gar’s help. Gar is his friend, but Jason has more experience with whatever the Titans are up to. He’s Robin, after all. He’s getting shoved to the side and every bit of it makes him want to scream and fight everyone in sight.

“Move.” You scoff at him, pushing past him and walking into his room. Jason stands there for a second as if to be processing what just happened like Internet Explorer.

“Sure, come in.” Jason huffs, shutting the door.

You pull the needle from the record, looking at him with wide eyes. “Death metal, really?” You cross your arms over your chest. “And this loud?” 

“Maybe you just need better taste in music.” Jason quips, leaning against his door with a sutble grin but his stance is still rigged.

��Because the thespian would know better music.” You tease, gaining a smirk as you watches Jason’s grin fall, steam nearly coming out his ears. “I’m fucking joking, calm down. Fuck.” You groan with wide eyes. “I just came to check on you.”

“I’m fine.” Jason mutters, looking to the floor for just a second.

“Mhm, yeah, being fine is definitely a normal feeling after being lifted ten feet in the air by your neck with several sharp swords pointed at you.” You quip. 

“I’m fine.” Jason grits his teeth.

“Well, in that case, you gotta cut Rachel some fucking slack, man.” You urge him, figuring if he’s not gonna talk about it, you might as well go on about Rachel. “It’s not her fault and I know that you know that.” You let out an exasperated sigh. Gar is normally the mediator between the two of them, on the account that you tend to take Jason's side a lot more than Rachel's. Gar is better at putting aside bias.

“She could have fucking killed me!” Jason pushes himself off of his door.

“I know.” You nod. “Which is fucked up, I’m not saying it’s not. It’s just…” You pause. “It’s different for people like us.”

“You don’t have any problems with it.” Jason huffs and he can’t believe of all people, you’re defending Rachel right now.

You pauses because yes you do but that’s not exactly easy to admit. But, this is Jason. “Okay,” You suck in a breath. “Promise not to tell anyone, especially Gar and Dick?” You ask.

Jason raises a brow at you. “Yeah? Okay.”

“Sometimes, I wake up from a nightmare with my hands glowing. I haven’t…burned or melted anything but they’re glowing and warm so…I don’t have nearly as much control as everyone thinks I do.” You chew on the inside of your cheek, dodging Jason’s eyes.

Jason seems to sit on that for a second. You’ve never almost burned any of them even when you get annoyed or angry. Your hands never even glowed once when you beat up Jerry, not once. Jason fully expected to have to deal with your powers but nothing. You seemed normal in that moment, no powers, no special abilities. He almost finds it hard to believe you can’t control your powers when you’re asleep. But, you also don’t lie to him.

“I also melted a mug my second day here by accident.” You clear your throat.

“How’d the hell you do that?” Jason chuckles this time, finding that more believable than the nightmares.

“I figured out Dick was Robin and Bruce was Batman. Long story short, I’ve got a bit of an issue with the two of them letting Joker fuck around and kill people, my mom included.” You shake your head, seeing Jason doing the math in his head trying to figure out if it was Dick at the time your mom was killed. “It was Dick, it wasn’t you. You took over, if my math is right, somewhere around six months to a year later.”

“Hadn’t thought of it like that.” Jason looks to his shoes before looking back at You. “Bruce not killing the Joker and shit, the consequences.” Jason clarifies.

He’s questioned Bruce’s methods, of course. He also thinks maybe some of those bad guys shouldn’t be allowed to escape Arkham. But, Bruce always said they’re there to protect people, not kill them. Killing the bad guys, makes them just as bad. It’s a line they can’t cross because it’ll be easier to cross the next time. But, at what point is enough enough when it comes to the Joker? How many people could be saved if it were just that one guy? Jason pushes the thought away though.

“Yeah, most don’t.” You clear your throat. “SO, I’m saying you should cool off and be upset about it, obviously, it looked scary from where I was standing, too but maybe don’t be a dick to her about it.”

Jason is stubborn but you bring up good points. Maybe, he could make an attempt to somewhat try and understand Rachel a little bit. Maybe.

“Whatever.” Jason huffs, caving in.

“Mhm, thank you, Jay.” Your voice waves as you walk over to him.

“Yeah.” Jason still looks displeased.

“Or pout about it.” You chuckle, getting a glare from Jason.

“I’m not pouting.” Jason huffs, but there’s a tint of smile coming to his face.

“Mhm.” You hum. “Well, I’m gonna wait for Gar, have fun being angry with your death metal.” You grin at him, see a full smile coming to Jason’s face.

“Yeah.” Jason shrug as you walk past him, leaving him alone.

You go back to your room, keeping the door open as you wait to find out what Dick needed Gar for. It still bugs you a bit that Dick picked Gar to help and not Jason but Jason was definitely not in a talking mood. You didn’t wanna push your luck with him. So, you hang out in your room and just wait with Ginny & Georgia playing on the TV.

As the second episode plays, a knock sounds on your door. You look over the back of the couch to see Gar walking into your room with a sappy smile on his lips. He walks over to the couch and plops down beside you.

“Whatcha watching?” He asks, chipper as usual.

“Ginny & Georgia, it was just added to Netflix.” You gesture towards the TV.

“How is it?” He asks.

“It’s good!” You say with enthusiasm. “I love Joe so much already. I hope he gets to stay happy.” You pout at Gar.

Gar chuckles softly. “Cool if I watch with you, then?” He asks, eyes filled of happiness and hope.

“Yeah! I’m only on episode two so you haven’t missed much. Georgia’s husband died and she doesn’t seem sad about it. They moved from Texas to Wellsbury which is on the east coast. Ginny and Austin are her kids and Ginny hooked up with her neighbor. That’s about it.” You laugh softly.

“Oh, well, okay then.” Gar nods along. “Is it….a comedy?”

“Eh,” You shrug a shoulder. “It’s more of drama. Like it has some comedy but it’s more dramatic.” You explain. “I think Georgia killed her husband so like there’s that.”

Gar’s eyes widen. “Definitely a drama.” He laughs.

“Oh, yeah.” You laugh in agreement.

The two of you focus your attention on the TV and you move closer to Gar, resting your legs over his lap. It makes Gar chuckle but he just goes with it, putting his hands on your shins and you watch together, making easy conversation about what’s going on in the show. This is a comfortable thing you’ve gotten into the habit of doing.

Gar will be playing video games so you sit next to him, usually always touching him in some way or Gar will come into your room where you’re watching TV and he’ll just plop down to watch whatever has your interest. You always moves to sit with your legs over him. And the two of you always make conversation about what’s going on and you get really dramatic and excited when you talk about your shows, it’s how Gar thinks he sounds but you’re not annoying. Sometimes, he thinks he just gets annoying about it but hearing you ramble about why you love a character or hate another, he could listen to that all day even if he has no idea what you’re talking about. It’s so comfortable for him.

After a few more episodes, you both realize no one has bothered you in a few hours. Neither of you even have a text from Dick about training. The older Titans must be keeping him occupied which is definitely nice. Training isn’t actually all that bad and it gives you all something to do. But, Dick doesn’t really give you a day to break. None of you have anything else to do, so Dick just makes sure you’re training all the time in one way or another. The four of you get it, you have to prepare for the big bads, but having a day off here and there would also be nice. And right now, it looks like you’re actually getting the night off and you’re enjoying it.

“Hey, want some popcorn?” You ask, peeling your eyes away from the TV to look at Gar.

“Yes, please.” Gar beams. “Want me to get it?”

“Nah,” You shake your head, sliding your legs off of Gar. “I got it.” You give him a smile. “Just pause it and make sure it doesn’t shut off.”

“Got it.” Gar gives you a nod, grabbing the remote from the coffee table in front of him.

You rush off to the kitchen where you find Rachel making herself a glass of sweet tea. You move around her, grabbing a bag of popcorn and popping it in the microwave before you grab a large bowl to pour it into. You sit on the counter, opposite Rachel, as you wait for the popcorn to start. Just as you get situated and Rachel finishes making her tea, Rose walks in. Instead of gauze, Rose is daunting an eyepatch over the eye that’s now missing.

“Don’t think we got introduced,” Rachel starts. “I’m Rachel.”

“Y/n.” You chime in, with a half-wave from your spot.

“I’m Rose.” Rose says.

“Pretty name.” Rachel says.

“Yeah, maybe too pretty now.” Rose says. “Patch has a nice ring to it.” Rose finishes as you let out a huff.

“I still think you’re really pretty.” You let out a scoff, giving Rose a smile. Rose’s brows furrow at you and Rachel rolls her eyes.

“You hang out with Jason too much.” Rachel states, getting a confused and offended look from you just as your popcorn starts to pop.

“I don’t get this.” Rose starts, ignoring the both of yours and Rachel’s comments to each other while she takes a seat in one of the chairs. “The whole living situation, this some kind of euro hostel or something?” Rose quips making you chortle.

Rachel lets out a huff. “No, we’re just friends.”

“Dick’s got a thing for plucking strays off the streets.” You add in.

"I'm not a stray." Rose defends, but her voice isn't stern or annoyed.

“We saw what happened.” Rachel looks between you and Rose.

“Saw what?” Rose inquires.

“Dick has access to the city’s surveillance cameras.” Rachel explains.

“We saw everything. You fighting and escaping, the whole thing.” You finish.

“Guy with the sword?” Rachel asks.

“My dad.” Rose gains a sarcastic grin.

You give her a yikes expression before hopping off the counter and going to the microwave as the popcorn starts to slow down its popping. Somehow, all of you have fucked up home lives. Seriously, is that a requirement to even be here?

“I’m sorry.” Rachel says.

“Dads suck.” You declare, opening the microwave.

“No dad of the year mug for him.” Rose quips before looking to Rachel. “That thing in your forehead, bold choice.” Rose nods her head.

You pour your popcorn into a bowl as you listen to Rachel, you actually don’t know the story behind it. You never asked.

“Not my choice.” Rachel shakes her head. “My dad put it there for me.”

“He did?” Your voice is filled of surprise and confusion.

“Yep.” Rachel holds out the word a little.

Now, that’s also weird. You figured it has to do with her powers since it lit up when she levitated her and Jason earlier. You have so many questions about it but Rachel’s singular word about it is probably a good indicator that she doesn’t like to talk about it. You can’t blame her there.

“Where’s he?” Rose asks.

“I got rid of him.” Rachel declares.

“Got rid of as in…? Killed him?” Rose asks.

“Yeah, kind of.” Rachel tries to brush it off as she scoffs.

“What about you?” Rose looks to you who’s standing on the other side of Rachel.

“Drug addict who bailed before I was born, foster dad almost beat me to death though.” You state, an almost sarcastic tone coats your words. “Ligature scars from the ordeal.” You lift your arms just slightly so your sleeves fall down enough to show the scars.

“Shit.” Rose states.

“Clearly, the tower is filled with people who had outstanding father figures.” You quips, getting a slight nudge from Rachel.

“Is that what you wanted to do to your father? Kill him?” Rachel asks.

“I did.” Rose nods. “But, uh, I thought everything would be different if he just went away.”

“Doesn’t always work.” Rachel takes a drink from her tea. “Right, Y/n?”

“I know you want me to agree with you but…” You pause. “I gotta say, I’m pretty content with my actual dad fucking off somewhere and me beating the shit out of Jerry now that it’s happened.”

Was that night a mess? Yes. But, talking with Jason about it has made you feel a lot better about it. He's told you countless times he deserved it and because of that, you did save that kid. You got your revenge and now he can't do that to anyone ever again. It didn't help that night, and maybe the act of beating him up didn't help, but preventing him from hurting anyone else did.

“Seriously?” Rachel voice is disapproving. 

You shrug. “I’m not gonna lie.” You laugh softly.

“Guess we’re all members of the bad dads club.” Rose gives the two of you a genuine smile.

“Platinum members.” Rachel scoffs.

“With a discount in endless trauma.” You quip.

“Benefits kind of suck.” Rose states.

“Members are pretty cool.” Rachel smiles softly, Rose matching the smile.

“What do you guys do all day anyway?” Rose questions.

“Train.” Rachel’s voice is flat.

“Listen to everyone complain about training.” You let out a muttered scoff.

“As if you’re not enjoying the night off with Gar.” Rachel quips.

“I am having a lovely time.” You grin. “Which is why, I’m going back to my room where he’s waiting.”

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Rachel mocks.

“We are friends, Rachel.” You defend.

“Okay, Y/n.”

You roll your eyes. “Okay, Rachel.” You mock her before walking off back to your room where Gar is still sitting in the same position.

You think about the conversation you had with Rachel about the boys. There was so much you couldn’t tell Rachel about Jason. Jason would kill you and Rachel would definitely tease him about it, even if it just slipped. You don’t want that to happen. It’s your thing and you kind of like that no one knows about it. You can’t really explain it, but it’s just nice not having everyone know about it.

With Gar, everything is out in the open which is also fine because that’s just Gar. He doesn’t hide things from people, he wears his emotions on his sleeve. It’s something you actually admire about him and it’s one of the things you like about him. But, in a way, there’s this pressure you don’t like. Rachel knew you liked him and she thinks Gar likes you, too. Part of it is on you, sleeping in his room, making him pancakes. But, you just wish you were normal because then it would be this normal gossip thing where no one knows for sure. In the tower, surrounded by people all the time though, everything is so fucking transparent. The tower might as well be wrapped in cellophane. So, you take a seat next to Gar and don’t say anything about how you feel because you like him but you like Jason, too.

“Talked with Rose.” You start, resting your legs over Gar’s as you get comfortable, holding the bowl of popcorn on your lap but close enough so Gar can have some.

“Yeah? What’s she like?” Gar asks, his left hand resting on your shins as his right plucks a piece of popcorn from the bowl.

“Daddy issues like the rest of us.” You chortle, tossing a piece of popcorn into your mouth.

"We knew that, though." Gar chuckles with you, finding you amusing.

"Yeah," You shrug. "I don't know, didn't talk long but she seems cool. Rachel is still in the kitchen with her."

"Think she'll stay?" Gar raises a brow and it worked out with you staying. He's worried about her being Deathstroke's daughter, which might put all of you at risk. But, if she's really in danger. Gar hopes she'll stay. It's safe here.

You scrunch your face with uncertainty. "Ehh," You shrug. "She doesn't seem too pleased with the place. So, I dunno. I hope she does. It helped me." You give Gar a sweet smile.

"Yeah, I think it'd be nice. We'll have to keep Jason off of her though." Gar chuckles.

You brush the comment off. Maybe Jason will be into her and it'll make everything easier. Choosing between the boys sounds like an impossible decision.

"Yeah, right?" You nod your head, agreeing with him but keep it short. You look to the TV and change conversation. "Do teenagers actually get together and do that?" The teenagers in the show are in a basement, a few of them playing instruments while the others are smoking on a couch.

"That's where you're questioning the realism of the show?" Gar chortles next you, grabbing a few pieces of popcorn.

"I mean! Hey, women have poisoned their husbands! They're even called Black Widows! But, teenagers all getting together to drink and smoke in a basement? Like regularly? Do they do that?"

Gar shrugs, finding your thought process a bit comical. "I wouldn't know."

"Right." You nod and laugh. "Forgot, none of us had much of a normal teenager experience."

Gar shakes his head. "Fine with me, seems..."

"Not as fun as they make it seem in the show?” You laugh softly.

“Yeah, exactly.” Gar nods quickly. “I don’t think it’d always be so cool, calm, and collected.”

There's a knock on your door, interrupting your conversation. The two of you turn around to see Dick, standing halfway in your room and half in the hallway.

"Gar, need ya again." Dick jerks his head towards the hallway and your brows furrow. What the hell is that about? Gar gives you an apologetic look as you move your legs off of him.

You spin around, resting your forearms on the back of the couch. "Whatcha doing?" You ask Dick as Gar gets up from his comfortable place.

"Locating Dr. Light." Dick answers simply.

You hum. "Can I come?"

It's Dick's turn to narrow his eyes. "No, I just need Gar for now." 

You groan. "Come on, Rachel is hanging out with Rose and Jason is in a pissy mood."

After the whole Jerry situation, Dick has been keeping a closer eye on you. He wants to trust you won't go rogue again but there is a part of him that worries about it. Dick went back and watched the security footage of everything, listened to the conversation. Jason did not try to stop you but it didn't seem as if you would have listened anyway. He doesn't need someone going rogue. But, if you’re with Gar, at least if you find Dr. Light, Dick can trust Gar to come and get him instead of you both trying to play the heroes.

"Okay, fine. Come on." Dick jerks his head and you beam, happy to be included.

You turn the TV off, practically leaping over the back of the couch and meeting the boys at the door. Gar's eyes widen and beam at the sight of your dramatics. Dick shakes his head but chuckles softly as the three of you head to the comms lab.

Gar slides into the chair and pulls up a map while Dick stands behind him and you stand off to the side, watching everything Gar is doing. You can only assume that with his time at Doom Manor, he had a lot of time to mess around with tech stuff. Maybe that's why Dick is asking for his help for this stuff instead of anyone else. Gar already has some background with computers and tech and he's a new Titan. Maybe it's a preparation thing. But, you’re also just happy to be included.

"Dr. Light will need to refuel if he's planning another attack." Dick starts. "He'll need a large electric power cell and a light source where he can absorb the energy."

Gar leans his elbows on the table in front of him, keeping his eyes on the screen. "So, monitor the power grids and keep an eye out for any unusual disturbances."

"We find where he's pulling the power from, we find him." Dick finishes before patting Gar on the back and heading for the hallway.

"Okay, got it." Gar's eyes scan over the computer screen.

"Oh, hey," Dick says, turning around before entering the hallway. "Everything okay with Rachel?" Dick looks between Gar and you. "She looked a little strange in training."

"She's fine." You answer quickly with the shrug of your shoulders.

Gar nods his head in agreement. "Yeah," He swivels in his chair to face Dick. "That was just...her..." Gar glances to you as if looking for help as he tries to think of something.

Neither of you are going to tell Dick Rachel almost killed Jason and then Jason called her a freak, then said she should be checked by a priest. Dick doesn't need to know everything that happens. You all can handle it.

"Training face." Gar gives Dick an awkward smile, spinning the chair slightly.

"Traning face?" Dick looks to Gar and then to you, completely not believing that at all.

"Yeah, she gets really focused and gets this look." You brush it off.

"Yeah, exactly." Gar agrees with you, the both of tyou lying through your teeth. You’re a bit better at it. "She just wants to be ready in case any of the old Titans wanna spar," Gar's eyes shift side to side for a second. "After, they settle in." He flashes the awkward smile again and you’re so sure Dick is going to call you out.

Note to self: Do not ask Gar to help you rob a bank.

"They're not gonna settle in." Dick states, this time his voice serious and stern. Your curiosity is piqued. Dick doesn't seem happy about them showing up which you find to be weird. Aren't they supposed to be friends? Is this because Deathstroke killed one of them? If it is, you can't say you blame Dick. It was probably really hard. "Hank and Dawn, Donna, they're not staying."

"I thought you guys were friends?" You ask.

"We are." Dick answers shortly. "But they aren't Titans anymore."

Gar's face twists in confusion. Everything was fine the last time they were all together, well, besides the whole Trigon thing. But, everyone got along afterward. "Did something happen between you guys?"

Dick's eyes go distant for a second before he drops it completely. "Keep looking." Dick states before walking off, down the hallway.

You look to Gar as he swivels to face you. "That was fucking weird." You say, shaking your head with wide eyes.

"Right?" Gar says dramatically. "What do you think that was about?"

"Uh...." You pause, shrugging your shoulders. "I mean, could be the death of that Titan, maybe it's like....a thing with them all being here?" You raise the question. "Everyone was there with Trigon, right?"

Gar nods before he turns back to the computer to get to work. "Yeah, I mean, besides....ya know." Gar jerks his head to the left with the quick raise of his brows as he starts searching the power grids. "But, I mean, after everything seemed fine. Dick was...actually in a good mood, actually."

You watch Gar carefully, taking mental notes of everything he's doing. "Maybe it's something with the tower then, everyone being here. I have no idea." You chuckle softly. "Bird boys make no fucking sense."

"Honestly," Gar shakes his head. "What do you think is up with that, anyway?" Gar glances to you.

You shrug. "Well, first full day here, I asked Dick about Bruce and he said that Bruce did the best he could which I always assume means that person sucks at parenting, without intending to." You chuckle softly. "So, could be Bruce."

"I think you just have a vendetta against him." Gar says honestly, giving you a slight wince.

You let out a sigh. "Yeah, a little bit." You move closer to Gar. "Can I sit?"

Gar's eyes widen as he freezes and you gain a smirk. A giggle escapes your lips and it's the cutest noise Gar has ever heard. He scoots back a bit and lets you sit on his lap, you mostly sitting on his right leg so Gar can see and maneuver around the keyboard easily.

"What do you think is up with bird boys?" You ask as Gar goes back to the power grids.

Gar shrugs. "I don't think they know how to handle their problems." Gar deadpans.

You let out a laugh. "Yeah, that's fair." You keep your head straight, watching the large screen. "How do you know how to do all this?" You decide to drop the conversation.

"Had a lot of free time at Caulder House." Gar states. "There wasn't much to do besides this and video games."

"Ah," You nod your head. "It's pretty cool, especially with how quickly tech changes and this is like...a Batcomputer." Your smile widens. Sure, you’ve got an issue with Batman but Wayne tech is cool nonetheless. Your problem is with his moral code about killing, not with much else. You don't even know the guy.

"Yeah, it's clearly coming in handy." Gar laughs softly.

Gar and you fall into a comfortable conversation as Gar explains what he's doing and how he knows what to look for. You follow everything he says, making sure you’re keeping up. The thing with Gar is that he's really good at explaining things without making your feel dumb. Sometimes, people have this habit of sounding condescending when they're explaining something they're good at even if they don't mean to. But, Gar explains it casually but in terms you understand since you don't know much about this tech. In fact, the way Gar explains everything, it makes you feel useful which is a really nice thing to feel right about now.

Over the next hour, you and Gar sit and look for signs of Dr. Light. You like seeing Gar here, doing this. It's clearly his environment, something he's good at and enjoys. He's also helping the older Titans by doing this and you can tell by how focused he is that it's something that also means a lot to him. He gets to be helpful with the thing he's good at.

The two of you share stolen glances here and there. There's something so warm and comfortable about it. While you’re more of a hands-on person, this is nice. You aren't really helping, rather than just keeping Gar company and learning from him. But, it's comfortable and if you’ve learned anything, it's that you should cherish the comfort while you have it.

Gar is so kind and soft and safe that feeling comfortable seems like it could be possible, every single day. He's energic and enthusiastic. You swear there's not a pessimistic bone in his body. And he has this smile that just put the sun to shame. You swear if he just gave you that open-mouthed toothy smile, you’d never get lost in the dark again. And sometimes he trips over his words if you get a little flirty and it make you so happy because he never knows what to do. It makes him that much cuter and softer. He is what you always imagined happiness would look like. If happiness were a person, it would be Garfield Logan. You wonder if you could ever offer him that same comfort and happiness. You wonder if you'd ever live up to that or if you'd just burn it all to the ground.

Gar finds something on the computer and goes to grab Dick. The two of them discuss, figuring the bundle of pings is actually Dr. Light. And then the power goes out as if to be on cue. You follow Gar and Dick out of the comms lab and into the living room. As you all reach the floor-to-ceiling windows, you see a stadium in the distance that's emitting light, indicating that's where Dr. Light is. You get the feeling that's probably not a good sign for whatever is to come next and by the look on Dick's face, he's got the same feeling.

Dick goes off to grab the rest of the Titans to hunt down Dr. Light while Gar figures the rest of you might as well hang out in the living room and watch something on someone's phone. You have gone almost entirely quiet since the power went out. He hasn't said anything, but he's kind of assumed you aren't a big fan of the dark. You usually have the TV on or the blinds pulled when you’re asleep so the room isn't so dark. Gar thinks maybe if he can get everyone in an open area, you'll feel a little better about it. So, you make your way to Jason's room first.

Gar’s assumption would be right. The dark wasn’t this big deal or anything before, but now it’s as if things are lurking in the shadows. You just feel so uneasy not being able to see in the dark. The great thing about the tower, usually, is there are always lights on. The hallway is always lit by small wall lamps so it’s never too dark. The rooms all have large windows that go from one wall to the other and the city does a good job of illuminating every room. But, the entire city is in a blackout and it’s almost completely dark in the tower. You hate it and with Gar’s offer to gather everyone up, you’re thankful you don’t need to explain it. He’s figured it out.

"What's up?" Jason asks as the two of you and Gar enter his room.

"The power's out." You quip, trying to not show you’re uneasy about the entire tower being dark.

"No shit." Jason shakes his head, his phone in his hand to use as a flashlight.

"I figured we'd all hang out together, just until it comes back on." Gar offers, his own phone’s light shining on the ground.

"All?" Jason questions, his brow quirked as he glances to you. Jason knows all does not mean all of the older Titans and he does not want to be around Rachel right about now.

"Well..." Gar pauses. "You, us, Rachel."

Jason lets out a groan before it turns into a dry laugh. "You think I wanna be around her right now?"

"She's sorry." Your voice is filled with frustration. "It was an accident."

"What about the other Titans?" Jason jerks his head up with the question.

"They're probably going to find Dr. Light. I found something on the computer." Gar brushes it off and Jason's eyes widen. You let out a sigh knowing Gar should not have said that.

"What? Why didn't you say so?" There's excitement in his voice as he runs over to his bed, getting on his hands and knees.

You eye Gar, as if telling him he should not have told Jason. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm going with 'em!" Jason says, pulling out the case that contains his suit.

Gar gets the look now. "Right..." Gar nods his head slowly. "I'm sure Dick will come get you if he needs you, man."

"Seriously?" Jason puts the case on his bed before turning to face you and Gar. "I gotta show him I'm ready for anything. I'm tired of sitting around." Jason reaches over his head, yanking his hoodie off, you getting the nonexistent hint to turn around.

"He knows what you're made of, Jason." Gar lets out a sigh as Jason changes into his suit.

"Obviously, not." Jason argues. "He didn't come to get me, did he?" Jason gets a little snippy and all Gar can do is sigh.

Jason finishes changing into his suit, making his way to you and Gar. You turn around, feeling him close to you. Jason's head is held high and there's a brightness in his eyes. His entire demeanor changes when he puts on the suit. He's, somehow, even more endearing when he's like this. Filled of so much joy and excitement and determination. You know Dick won't let him go with and it's gonna sting him a lot more than he'll ever admit.

"Well, be careful then, Batboy." You state, knowing there is no stopping Jason.

Jason eyes you up and down, not even realizing he's doing it. A smirk pulls at his lips and he almost has a quip, almost but Gar is standing there, a little too close to you. So, he bites it down like a shard of glass. "Always am." He nods at you before quickly exiting his room, the cape flowing behind him.

"He's a dork." You look to Gar, a smile pull at your lips.

"It's the cape, right?" Gar laughs.

You nod quickly. "Yeah, yeah, something about the cape on him. It's like it swallows him." You laugh again. "It is bulletproof and fireproof though."

"At least there's that." Gar chuckles. "Let's find Rach." He jerks his head towards Jason's door and the two of you head out.

The two of you head down the hall where you run into Rachel. She had been on her way to look for the two of you. The tower is on backup generators now but the power in the tower is limited. This surprises all of you. You all thought, surely, Bruce would have a better generator for the tower. But, none of you say anything about it and decide to head to the living room and find something to do while you wait for the power to come back on and for the other Titans to get back. When you reach the living space, Jason is standing there alone in the Robin suit, the rest of the Titans in the elevator.

Jason's jaw clenches as he sees the three of you standing there looking at him. Rachel isn't surprised and she's actually pleased with Jason being left behind. Rachel doesn't think Jason is ready to help the rest of the Titans, and it's not fair to let him go but not the rest of you. Gar and you, on the other hand, you feel bad for him. He just wants to help and he's your friend. You also know that Jason will probably be pissed about this for the next week and you'll be the ones who have to hear about it. Dick should just let him help, they have the same experience.

Jason pushes past the three of you, not saying a word.

"He's such a try-hard." Rachel mutters as the three of you walk over to the couches.

You furrow your brows as you and Gar sit side-by-side, his arm going behind you as if to be an instinct. "I mean...he is Robin, though?"

"Yeah, but why does he think he should be able to help when none of us are?" Rachel argues.

"He has experience?" Gar questions, his expression matching the confused and defensive one you have.

"Not you, too!" Rachel groans out in frustration. She doesn't get why you and Gar almost always side with Jason.

"What?" Gar asks, unamused over this conversation.

"You guys defending him."

"Well, because we get it." Gar's eyes widen slightly, a hint of annoyance in his voice. The petty arguing and hatred between Rachel and Jason actually drives him insane. Sure, Jason deserves it sometimes but he's not even around right now. Why does it matter?

"Yeah, I mean, it's like important to him." You state, your eyes still slightly narrowed. When you told Rachel to talk to Jason about this, you did in fact mean it. You, too, aren't a fan of the petty arguments either between the two of them or about each other.

"It's important to everyone." Rachel urges. "Why does he think it's the most important thing to him?"

You and Gar stare at each other, as if to be silently communicating 'what the fuck'. Rachel is clearly still upset by Jason's words from the morning. Of course, neither of you blame her but you are Jason’s friend. You both defend Rachel when Jason gets all pissy with her and you both defend Jason. But, this is just annoying. The Titans have gone off to find Dr. Light, you're trapped in the tower without any power. Who even cares?

"You're not friends with him so you don't get it." You brush her off. "And not to sound a bit bitchy, but it's not our job to explain it to you." You shrug and pull your phone from your pocket. "I'm gonna turn my show on, you're welcome to watch with us." You pull up Netflix on your phone before handing it to Gar as he puts in the password.

You rest the phone on the ottoman, using one of the random books from the table to stabilize your phone. Rachel huffs a bit but moves closer to you so she can watch the show. She decides to drop it and maybe she is being a bit unreasonable. She doesn't understand Jason and she probably never will. But, she also hasn't taken your advice about talking to him yet. So, Rachel bites back the other comments she has about Jason and listens to you and Gar explain what she's missed so far.

Only a few more minutes go by when Jason and Rose come into view, the two of them heading for the opposite hallway. You’re the first to notice, followed by Gar. Rachel is too busy watching the show to even care.

"What's going on?" Gar asks, cautiously seeing the two of them walking side-by-side.

Jason looks like he's doing a bit better. "Going to train, nothing else to do anyway."

"You training, too?" You quirk a brow at Rose.

Rose tilts her head just slightly to the side. "Nah," She shakes her head. "I'm gonna kick his ass." 

"Fuck off." Jason huffs, but a smile is on his lips.

"Please, do. Someone's gotta kick him around now and again." You grin at Jason.

His eyes narrow at you. "Yeah, cause you never will."

"One day, Jay. One day." You wiggle your brows at him before looking back at your phone, trying to ignore the weird warmth in your stomach. That is not jealousy.

"When hell freezes over." Jason scoffs but you keep your eyes on the screen and there's a disappointment that bites Jason's bone. His smile falls and he thought you'd have some come back about beating his ass even when hell freezes over or something dumb. But, you say nothing and he's disappointed in that. "Whatever," He scoffs, jerking his head towards the hall. "Let's go." Jason and Rose leave the three of you to yourselves.

You think Gar doesn't notice the short banter that wasn't really banter. You think he doesn't notice the way your eyes narrowed and the way the grin turned stale. You think he doesn't notice how you are with Jason and it hurts Gar. He likes you but he thinks maybe you’re more into Jason than you'll ever be into him. Sure, you’re choosing to hang out with him more but you and Jason still do your flirty thing. It doesn't really make any sense to him if he's being honest.

After two hours, the power finally comes back on. Every light in the tower turns back on and the lights of the city start to shine through the floor-to-ceiling windows once again. The three of you breathe a sigh of relief, hoping that means the other Titans took down Dr. Light with success. You all move the show to the TV and wait on the edge of your seats for the other Titans to come back. Jason and Rose join the three of you just a few minutes later as if to also be waiting for the other Titans. Jason steals the remote and switches to the news.

"Well, you could have asked first, but sure." You quip but Jason brushes you off as he stands off to the side of Gar, arms crossed.

The news plays over footage of the Titans fighting Dr. Light and failing. Dick chooses to save a busload of people instead of stopping Dr. Light. Dr. Light takes off and he's completely out of sight. The news reports that he's nowhere to be seen but everyone on the bus is safe.

"And that's why they should have fucking let me go!" Jason complains, flinging one of his arms out.

All of you chooses not to argue or humor Jason. The rest of the Titans are probably going to be upset when they get back and Jason will have some sort of comment about it. It's not worth it for any of you to argue or agree with him. You'll leave that to Dick and the other Titans.

As soon as the rest of the Titans get back, you, Gar, Rachel, and Jason keep your places in the living area beside Rose who doesn't want any part of it, apparently. You all wait until Dawn and Hank head off toward the bedrooms, leaving just Dick in the living area. Jason takes the lead and gets up first, the rest of you following him

"Where's Dr. Light?" Jason taunts Dick as he walks closer to him.

"Jason." Rachel warns.

"A little stealth job on a guy who shoots what? Headlamps? I mean half the city's on fire and still no sign of Dr. Light." Jason is now about a foot away from Dick, Gar, you, and Rachel standing two feet behind Jason not liking where this is going.

"Not the time, Jason." Dick warns him.

Jason rushes Dick quickly, almost chest-to-chest with him. "Look, I don't take orders from you anymore, man. I do what I want when I want." Jason states, eying Dick with anger. You roll your eyes behind him and Gar sucks in a breath, knowing this is not going to end well.

Dick gets this smile that is almost his way of telling Jason how fucking stupid that is. He goes to walk past Jason but Jason puts his hand on his chest, stopping Dick in his tracks. Dick looks almost appalled. You thought Dick wasn't as great at hiding his emotions when you first got here but the more you watch him, the more you realize he's actually very good at it. He just has resting bitch face. But, it's obvious by the way his brows went up and his eyes widened just a little that he was shocked and appalled that Jason stopped him.

"Get out of my way." Dick's voice is stern and unwavering.

"I think you got it all wrong," Jason shakes his head at Dick, a little close to him for everyone's comfort. Jason hits Dick's chest again with an open palm. "You're in my way." The three of you behind Jason can feel this going south very quickly but none of you want to insert yourselves in it. You’re a bit interested to see where this will go and how Dick plans to de-escalate the situation. "Maybe you need a retirement package."

You and Gar glance between each other before turning back to Jason. You want to help break this up but how? This is not your battle and if you take Dick's side, you'll be hearing from Jason about it. So, you both stand back as Jason turns to look at you for just a second. He's got this determined look in his eye that makes you quirk a brow. He makes a fist and all three of you shake your heads slightly.

"Don't." Dick grits his teeth, his nose scrunching up. Yeah, tonight is not the night to pick a fight with Dick.

Jason tries to charge Dick but Dick is faster and takes an open palm to back of his head, pushing him to the ground. You let out a sigh, hanging your head and holding the bridge of your nose. Gar has resorted to looking down and running a hand through his hair, a look of exasperation across his face. Rachel leans forward, simply surprised.

Dick even looks a bit surprised. "Shit." Dick says softly as he reaches a hand towards Jason. "Here." His voice is flat.

Jason slaps Dick's hand away before getting up from the floor. Jason's heaving a few breaths as if the anger is consuming him from the pit of his lungs. He stands toe-to-toe with Dick but doesn't say anything. He pushes past him and heads off down the hallway. Dick looks at the three of you who all look like you're torn between second-hand embarrassment and yikes.

"What was that?" Dick asks, his eyes directly at you.

"Got me." You shrug. If Dick really can't figure out what Jason is upset about, he's actively choosing to be obvious or something because Dick isn't stupid.

Dick shakes his head and decides he'll deal with it later. "Gar, come on, need you again." Dick starts walking past all of you.

"I'll come to your room later." Gar gives you an apologetic look.

"I'm gonna check on Jason anyway." You roll your eyes and everyone goes their separate ways, leaving Rachel in the living room.

You head to Jason's room where his music is yet again blaring. You bang on the door and he doesn't answer at first. You suck in a breath and decide you’re just going to keep banging on the door until he answers it. It's a solid minute of knocking before the door swings open, Jason's cheeks red and his eyes wide, filled of rage.

"What the fuck?!"

"Move." You move past him and Jason wants to know why you do this? And why does he let you? You spin around. "What the fuck to you? What the fuck was that with Dick, dude?"

"Oh, this is about Dick, huh?" Jason yells, his face scrunching with anger as he shuts the door.

"You were going to fight him." You say through gritted teeth. "Why?"

"He thinks he fucking knows everything!" Jason swings his arm out. "But he got fucking beat by Dr. Light, a fucking dude whose power is a streetlamp." Jason scoffs, the very thought of this guy comical to him.

"Okay." You lower your voice. "So, why not let him wallow in his own mistakes then? Why do you gotta rub it in?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're taking his side?!" Jason’s voice goes up an octave.

"NO!" You yell at him. "I'll always take y0our side! Just..." You pause, letting yourself take a breath. "Just, fucking talk to me, Jay." You cave, chewing the inside of your cheek. He's never gone after Dick before. It's like all of them said, Jason gets mad and rants and raves, trains a bit, and that's it. He doesn't go after people, but tonight he did. You’re worried about him.

Jason shakes his head, looking to the ground and you have this way of calming him down. You’re just as hot-headed as he is but when he's screaming, you can just stay calm. It might take a minute, but you calming down and asking him such a simple question, gets him to cool off. It’s the way you call him Jay and it’s like it flips the switch. You call him that nickname, you’re the only one, and he knows he can talk.

"I just wanna fucking help." Jason scoffs, leaning against his door. "I feel fucking useless here and he won't let me fucking help. If I could show him what I can do..."

"Maybe he'll let you actually help." You finish for him.

"Yeah, Robin is like," Jason lets out a scoff. "It's the one thing I've been fucking good at. It feels like it's being taken away from me and there's nothing I can fucking do about it." There's a break in his voice and you feel for him.

It's the first time he's admitted any of that. The thing about Robin is Jason has always been a hothead. He's always liked attention. The world has been unfair to him his entire life. But, he puts on that suit and the hot-headedness actually comes in handy sometimes, dealing with these big bads like the Riddler and the Joker. The attention is on him because he's a hero with Batman. And he gets to level the playing field in the world that's treated him so poorly. He's so good at it, too and he knows it. But, it's all being ripped away from him. Sure, it’s his own doing but, maybe if Bruce or Dick offered him an ear every now and again, they would get why Jason does things like joyrides in the Batmobile and riding a motorcycle in the manor.

"Yeah, I get that." You nod and move to stand next to him, leaning against his door with him. "But, uh, for what's it worth, I would care to argue you're also a good friend. You're good at that."

Jason lets out a laugh. "Yeah, that's real fucking inspiring."

You shrug, laughing with him. "It's better than nothing, right? No, but you're a good reader and you are funny. You are a good Robin. You’re a better Robin than Dick was." You eye him, the laugh falling. "And I'm not just filling your ego." You give him a smirk.

"Aw, can't fill it even a little, babe?" Jason's brows knit together and he's got this half-cocked grin that makes your stomach twist. 

The nickname makes your knees weak. "Absolutely not, shithead."

Jason lets out another laugh. "Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem. You know I'm always gonna be here for ya." You give him a wink. "I don't think Dick's worth it anyway." You let out a sigh.

"Back to having an issue with him?" Jason nods with understanding. He's in a constant state of flip-flopping on having an issue with him.

"Nah, I just mean I don't think he's worth it. If you're gonna fight a Titan, at least make it worth it, ya know? Like, it's Dick. He's whatever and it's like tragic in a pathetic kind of way to watch two Robins fight each other. I mean how fucking cliche. Fight Hank or some shit." You scoff. "Or prove yourself in a different way, one that doesn't involve tagging along where they shove you into a corner anyway."

"I'd obliterate Hank." Jason chortles, his head is high and his chest puffed out with confidence.

"See, exactly!" You cheer.

Jason pauses for a second and maybe you have a point. Maybe he could find a way to show Dick in a different way. He doesn't need to rely on Dick to invite him out onto the field. He could just do it himself.

"Hey," Jason's brows furrow as he looks to you, an idea popping into his head. "Gar still helping Dick?"

Your eyes narrow at him, not liking the question. "Assume so...why?"

"We could help." Jason proposes the idea and you just know he doesn't want to sit in front of a computer as a way to help. Jason is a hands-on kind of hero.

"Mmm." You hum. "What's your angle?"

"You said prove myself in a different way." Jason give you an eerily innocent smile.

"Mhm." You hum. "Yeah, he's probably in the comms lab trying to locate Dr. Light again." You tell him, trying to figure out what exactly he's getting at. Jason is anything but innocent.

Jason pushes himself from the door, gesturing for you to follow his lead. "So, let's help. An apology to Dick, offer my help here."

"Yeah, I don't believe your intentions are so pure if I'm being honest." You state, keeping your stance against his door.

Jason has a cocked grin, eyes devious. "You gonna stop me?"

You should but he didn't stop you. So, you roll your eyes and push off of the door. "Guess not."

Jason has this triumphant smile that makes your heart beat a little faster. Jason opens the door and you follow him. Something in you is saying Jason doesn't want to help with this. Not in this way. You worry he's going this to hunt Dr. Light down himself. But, he went with for Jerry. He never tried to talk you out of it because he knew he couldn't and you know you can't talk him out of this. You needed it and Jason needs this, too. Plus, you aren’t completely sure that’s what his plan is.

You get to the comms lab, Gar quickly typing away as Jason leans against the table, facing Gar. His hands grip the edge as he waits for Gar to look at him. You stand off to the side of Gar's chair.

"Hey?" Gar questions, looking between the two of you.

"Hey." Jason greets a little too kindly.

"You okay?" Gar asks, this time his voice has a little bit of concern. He takes a quick glance at you and then brings his eyes back to Jason.

"Yeah, yeah, I've been knocked down before." Jason nods his head, looking to you.

"Look, uh, Dick just reacted he didn't mean anything by it." Gar says, his voice soft and you want to melt. He's so kind and sweet and caring. He never wants anyone to hurt anyone, physically or mentally. He is so good.

"Yeah, he did." Jason keeps his voice level and honest. He gains this tired grin. "Look, I know what I am. I'm a dirty little favor to Bruce. And probably why they reopened this place." Jason looks around the room. "Scrap heap for rejects." You roll your eyes at the comment before you go back to eyeing him carefully.

"I'm not a reject." Gar shakes his head, his voice displeased and hurt by the remark.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean you." Jason shakes his head before looking at you. "Or you." He looks back to Gar.

"Look, you're not a reject, either, Jason. We're...we're Titans." Gar gets this huge smile, one of accomplishment and pride.

You keep your eyes narrowed as the smile falls from Jason's face. He's manipulating Gar. It's the way he spoke with ease. The way he smiled that wreaked of bad intentions. And that's when you know for certain. He wants to find Dr. Light so he can go after him. Jason wants to help in a different way, meaning he wants to do it all himself. That's the only reason why he walked in here the way he did, saying what he said and how he said it. If he came in here, immediately asking to help, a red flag would have been triggered for Gar. 

Jason turns to look at the large screen. "Hey, can I help you?" Jason asks, gaining the smile back as he pushes off the table.

"Uh, sure?" Gar says, leaning forward and wheeling the chair closer to the controls. "You okay?" Gar asks, looking back to you. "You're really quiet."

"Oh, yeah." You nod, glancing between and Gar and Jason. "It's nothing, it's fine." You’re not gonna get in the middle of Jason trying to find Dr. Light and him going off to find him. Gar won’t let Jason help if you say anything.

Gar eyes you with a bit of suspicion but decides not to press. He moves back to the computer and looks at the large screen that Jason is now standing just inches from.

"I'm just looking for heat signatures. After Dr. Light absorbed all that energy, he's gotta be radiation hot." Gar explains.

"What's that?" Jason points to a blank spot on the map.

Gar zooms in. "Emergency exits on the Bayline train station. Underground, so impossible to read."

"Train tunnels must have underground heat sensors." Jason looks behind him to Gar.

"Good idea." Gar gets this interested smile as he wheels over to the right and starts typing. "I'm just gonna piggyback on the Bayline system." Gar says and just like that, where there was once a blank spot, it's now glowing red. A large smile comes to your face and this is why Dick should give him a chance. He is in fact clever. Jason lets out a single laugh, a large and proud smile on his face. "Holy shit." Gar beams as a similar laugh leaves his lips. Gar wheels back over to the center of the control panel. "You're amazing, Jason. I think we got him." Gar says, barely finishing his sentence before he pushes off the chair, immediately heading for the hallway.

"Woah, where ya going?" Jason calls after him, quickly catching up to Gar before he can leave.

"To tell Dick." Gar states as if Jason should have known.

"I got a better idea." Jason starts and you groan internally. This isn't good. "Look, why don't we go take a quick look to make sure." Jason offers and you’re shocked he isn't going off on his own. You definitely expected him to try and sneak out of here. "Cause if we're wrong, we'll look like assholes."

Gar nods his head, an unamused smile on his lips. "Yeah..." He stops nodding, snapping his eyes at Jason. "No." He quickly turns back around to the hallway.

"Gar! I need this." Jason pleads and Gar stops again. "To make things right with Dick, to show him what I can do. Okay? What we can do."

Gar walks back over to Jason. "He knows what you can do." Gar's voice is sympathetic as he shakes his head. "You're Batman's guy." Gar's voice is quieter this time but still drenched in the same sincerity.

"Was." Jason corrects him. You raise a brow. This is the first time he's thought of Robin in the past tense. "I'm not saying we go rogue." Jason explains. "We'll just do some visual verification, lay eyes on the guy and call Dick. Look, help me out Gar." Jason pleads with him and this time, it seems Jason is being sincere rather than manipulating him. But, you know Jason won't call Dick. "I could use a win."

Gar pauses and looks past Jason to you, your feet seeming to be glued to the floor. "What do you think?" Gar asks. "You haven't said anything."

You let out a sigh, Jason turning and his eyes boring into you. If you say Jason is right, that'll be it. The three of you will go and it could end poorly. If you say Gar is right, Jason will be mad and probably go anyway. At least, if all three of you are there, maybe something horrible won't happen. You kind of owe him anyway and you do kind of agree with Jason. But, you feel like you’re not choosing on if you should go after Dr. Light or tell Dick. Instead, you feel like you’re choosing between the boys with both of them looking at you and expecting you to agree with both of them.

"I dunno." Your voice holds reluctance. "I just..."

"Come on, Y/n." Jason pleads with you now. "You wanna prove it to Dick, too, right? You just said you're tired of being cooped up here. When we went after Jerry, as soon as you said we should call him, we did. It's the same thing."

You let out a sigh because you know that. "Stop kissing my ass." You roll your eyes. "I mean..." You look to Gar. "We could be heroes tonight." You raise your brow at him and there's a drop in Gar's expression but Jason's brightens. You don't want to sit around helping like this either. You want to do something and you do not want Jason to get himself killed tonight.

"Really?" Gar's voice is filled of disappointment. He thought you'd side with him, especially with how you were right after going after Jerry.

"I mean..." You pause. "I've fucked up with Dick, too and it does suck. If we could do this for him, maybe it'll prove that we're more than just those fuck ups. You haven't done anything, of course, but you're like...the responsible one." You state before looking to Jason. "No offense." You look back to Gar. "If we have you with us, maybe Dick will appreciate the three of us working together and being there for backup, ya know?"

Gar pauses and he's not winning this. He can tell by the looks in yours and Jason’s eyes, you're both a bit desperate to prove something. Jason just wants to prove that he is worth something. He's worth the time and the effort and the energy. He's meant to be Robin. You, Gar isn't really sure what you want to prove. But, it's the way your brows furrow and your voice quivers that he can tell it means something to you. Maybe you just want to prove you’re useful. You’re the only one no one who hasn’t been in some type of fight that isn't training. Everyone even saw Rose on the TV fighting. So, Gar caves despite his better judgment.

"Quick look, then we call Dick." Gar's voice is serious and stern, as if he's really taking the comment about being the responsible one to heart.

Jason smiles casually as he nods. "I promise."

"Let's get going then and hurry the fuck up." You walk past Jason.

"I'm gonna grab something real quick, I'll meet you guys outside." Jason says before walking past you, jogging down the hallway.

Gar gives you a look as the two of you head down the same hallway. "Siding with Jason?"

You let out a sigh. "I get it, ya know?" You shrug your shoulders. "Like...I dunno just wanting to be good enough." Your voice is quiet. "We all just want to be good enough for something, right? And I have these new powers and I'm going stir-crazy over it. I feel useless. I'm the only one who hasn't done anything. I beat up some basic ass psycho. He never even put up a fucking fight." You scoff. "I owe him, ya know?"

"You don't." Gar shakes his head. "And you are good enough. Dick knows you are." Gar urges and he doesn’t want you making bad decisions to prove something Dick already knows.

"It's different, Gar." You lick your lips. "Jason never tried to talk me out of going. He knew he couldn't do it. He knew I wouldn't listen to him. So, he came with to make sure I'd be okay and that I wouldn't kill him." You shake your head. "Uh....just...I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty of it all that night but," You look to the floor, watching as your shoes touch the floor. "He did a lot for me that night, like what you do." You nod at him and Gar gets it now.

Maybe you and Jason do flirt with each other and maybe there is something going on. He doesn't really know and a part of him would like to be left in ignorant bliss about it but ever since that night, something was different between you and Jason. Gar can't put his finger on it, but it seemed different. And now he knows why. You got to see a side of Jason no one else ever gets to see. Jason treats you like a person and you do him. Jason makes you feel like a person, an important person just like Gar does. It's just a little different.

Gar nods with understanding. "For the record," Gar lets out a sigh. "I think you're both good enough."

Heat creeps through your cheeks as your face softens. "Thank you, Gar." You feel the giddiness course through your veins. "You are also plenty good enough."

Gar chuckles softly. "Thanks, Y/n." Gar reaches his door, opening it. "Just grabbing my jacket."

"Yeah, I'm gonna grab a different hoodie." You jerk your head towards your room.

The two of you part ways to grab your different clothes. Gar goes with his red and white jacket while you grab a black athletic jacket. It's warm, jet-black, and it's a zip-up. You tie a belt around your waist, the belt lined with varying knives you’ve been given over the last few months from Dick. And you hide it under your hoodie. You know damn well this is going to get ugly and if Gar sees this, he'll back out and tell Dick. But, you aren't going to go unprepared. So, you hide it.

Once the three of you are outside, you head off to find Dr. Light. Jason, naturally showed up in his Robin suit. You and Gar aren’t even surprised. It's completely on brand. You think Jason would sleep in it if he could.

Once you reach the tunnels, that's when things start feeling a little off. You have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. Something just doesn't feel quite right here. A part of you thinks you’re just anxious over facing a villain. You know Jason isn't going to call Dick. He's going to put up a fight because that's just Jason. He's going against all odds to prove himself and this is a perfect opportunity. So, maybe you’re just anxious about that. But, you try to brush it off because you’re with the two boys who would never let anything happen to you.

"I thought this was reconnaissance only." Gar states as the three of you head down the stairs into the tunnels. "You're overdressed." Gar sounds tired and like he's done dealing with Jason's shit.

Jason laughs. "Exactly reconnaissance on a homicidal psychopath." The three of you stop walking. Jason leans against the railing on his side, facing you and Gar. You stand right in the middle of them. "Safety first."

"Yeah...that's why you wore the suit." You quip as you cross your arms over your chest.

Gar looks at the two of you before shaking his head. "I'm calling Dick." He says, completely through with now the both of you as he goes to head up the stairs.

"Gar, wait." You call but you keep your footing where you are.

"Yeah, come on, man." Jason whines. "Okay, you agreed to help me out. Please?"

"It'll be fine." You assure Gar with the easy shrug of your shoulders.

"See, Y/n’s on board." Jason points at you with an open palm. "Let's go." Jason jerks his head down the stairs.

Gar is so fed up with this already. He just gestures lazily out in front of him for Jason to take the lead again. The three of you walk down the stairs together, Jason feeling fantastic about himself, Gar wants to go home, and you’re stuck in between the two of them, literally and figuratively.

"Alright," Jason says as you reach the bottom of the stairs, all of you coming to a stop. "Let's uh, let's split up."

"Huh?" Gar hums, his voice high-pitched.

You scrunch your entire face at Jason, appalled. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"What?" Jason scoffs.

"Bad idea!" You groan.

"Man," Gar puts a hand on Jason's shoulder. "Don't you remember any of the horror movies we've watched?" There's a bit of panic in his voice.

"One of the easiest rules to remember is to not split up, Jason." You explain dramatically.

"You both wanna get out here fast, right?" Jason nods his head slowly and dramatically. "The three of us will get the job done in half the time." Jason says as he starts walking off.

"One of us definitely needs to go with him." You let out a sigh.

Gar's face is panicked but he manages a frown at you. "No way."

"Hey, I'm not going alone and you and I both know Jason functions strictly on reckless abandon. One of us has to be with him for safety measures." You gesture an open hand down the tunnel. "He's already left us." Honestly, you’re not happy about the whole splitting up thing but Jason seemed to make that decision for the three of you.

Gar lets out a groan. "Fine, okay." He puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes softly. "I just, I got a bad feeling."

You nod but you choose not to put more worry into him. You don't like when he worries so much. "It'll be fine. You can turn into a tiger, I can melt people, Jason is very good at kicking ass and he does have the Robin suit which has weapons. We'll be fine." You rest a hand on Gar's shoulder and give him a gentle smile. The action was supposed to make him feel better but something about it doesn’t.

"Okay." He nods reluctantly.

"Meet you after." You give Gar a wink before turning and jogging down one of the tunnels to catch up with Jason.

You catch up with Jason, Jason hearing your pattering footsteps behind him. He knows it's you by the lightless of your steps.

"Can I fucking help you?" Jason quips.

"How-how did you know it was me?" You ask as you catch up to him, coming to a walking speed.

Jason lets out a laugh. "You're not fucking subtle." If anyone was going to follow him, it’d be you.

"Ha-ha." You mock him. "I came to make sure..." You pause as Jason looks at you, eyes narrowed and this is like when you went to beat up Jerry. Him in the Robin suit, you in street clothes, going to find a piece of shit. Maybe there's a bit of comfort in reckless abandon. "You don't kill him." You flash him a smirk.

There's a prideful smile across Jason's lips as he looks forward. He got the reference. He remembers telling you that that night.

"Gonna be able to pull me off him, huh?"

"Well," You shrug. "I was trained by the best, ya know?" You lift your hoodie so he can see the knives. "I, too, came a little overdressed for the occasion."

Jason lets out a laugh, his nose scrunching. "Yeah? And how's Gar feel about that?"

"Oh, well, he doesn't know." You let outa sigh, a guilty expression on your face. "He would have told Dick if he saw but I wasn't coming unprepared."

A triumphant smile pulls at Jason's lips as he boasts his chest. "Well, hey, I'm just glad you finally fucking admit I'm the best." Jason chortles.

"Oh, shut the fuck up." You roll your eyes. "Seriously, though," You let out a breath. "This is honestly stupid, like you know that, right?"

The smile falls. "No, he's a stupid fucking lightbulb."

"Uh-huh, yes, but the other Titans seem afraid of him. You don't think that's the least bit weird?" You raise.

"Could just be that Deathstroke is out there and his daughter is at the tower." Jason snarks.

"Fair." You let out a sigh, knowing that might be true. Everything you’ve heard about Dr. Light doesn’t sound too terrifying in terms of bad guys. "You don't seem to mind who Rose's dad is." You look to the ground for a split second, Jason catching it and a smirk comes to his face. Game time.

"Jealous?" He quips, looking at you and you think the mask makes him look a little goofy and he knows exactly what he's doing because you asked him the same thing last time.

"You fucking wish." You mock him and Jason lets out this laugh that bubbles your stomach. You wish he laughed more.

"If I did?" Jason continues and this time you look at him. He's looking straight ahead with a smirk that makes you want to kiss it right off his face. Shut him right up. But, you don't because you do like Gar.

You roll your eyes. "Alright, you fucking smartass."

"You always do that." Jason remarks, his voice drenched in confidence.

"Do what?" You glance to Jason.

"Deflect, backtrack. We go and back forth, and when you get stuck, you backtrack." Jason tilts his head to the right and then straights it back out with a shrug.

"Your point?" You raise, curious where he's going with this, but give him a teasing grin anyway.

Jason shrugs. "No point, just pointing it out." He is curious why you always do it. He wonders if it's because of Gar. Maybe you'd commit a bit more to the flirty banter, keep it going, if it weren't for Gar. Or maybe it's because it's him. He doesn't know but he definitely likes trying to figure you out.

"Mhm." You hum, not believing him. "Well? You and Rose?"

You don't even know why you’re pushing for an answer but you are. They've been hanging out a little more and you’re curious. Rose is cool and you like Rose. You swear it's not jealousy, that's not why you’re asking. You’re just curious.

"Why don't you tell me why you wanna know so bad?" Jason's brows are furrowed as he looks to you, his smirk turning taunting.

You wave a finger at him. "Why don't you tell me why you wanna know about Gar and me so bad?" You match the smirk with pride. 

Jason's eyes narrow at you, a smile pulling up as he licks his bottom lip and turns forward again. He wants to know but only if it's the answer he wants. He'd rather not have to hear that you like him and he likes you. That you're some sort of couple or you want them to be. You are Jason’s friend so he'd suck it up for you, of course, but he doesn't want to actively hear it. The idea of rejection makes his mouth grow sour. But, he's not going to tell you that.

"You first." Jason states and decides to throw the ball in your court.

You shrug. The issue with the two boys for you is that Gar makes you feel stable and safe, secure. He makes you happy and you feel...content. You feel this weird feeling of peace with him that you can't quite explain. In a way, you feel kind of like your old self, but a more mature version of it. It's not about the games or jokes between you, it's just very soft. It is warmth like a fireplace in a brutal winter. You feel like nothing bad or dangerous could ever be happen with Gar because of the peace that just radiates from him. You can't even figure it out which is fun. He makes you feel comfortable, something you really miss. But, then there's Jason.

Jason makes you feel like you’re on fire. Every part of you is bursting into flames around him and it doesn't even hurt, it's just exhilarating. It feels like the two of you could burn an entire city down together. And yet, you feel safe with him, too. There is not a single doubt in your mind that Jason would protect you against anything in the world. And you'd do the same for him. Jason has this sort of recklessness about him that you find intriguing. You don't know what he's gonna do or what he's thinking, something about that is endearing. Jason makes you feel alive with the fire in your belly and that brings you this sense of comfort you have craved for years. And you don't have to hide anything from him, not any of the trauma because Jason has already seen it all and went through it all. He just gets you. But, then you come back to Gar again and the idea of just being soft. The two boys have pros and cons, every person does, and you know what you want but you’re not sure if what you want meets what you need. So, you shrug.

"I mean, she's pretty and you seemed into her." You let the words roll off your tongue as if it's not a bitter sting in your throat.

Jason nods once. "Yeah, she is." He chuckles softly, it's fake though. "Don't know." Jason huffs. "Don't really know her, ya know?"

"Mhm, yeah." You nod your head. "I get it."

"You seem into Gar. He's definitely into you." Jason lets out a breath, deciding to make something up, piggybacking off your reasoning.

"Yeah..." You let out a huff, a sad smile on your lips. "He does sometimes but I don't know."

Your lack of mention about your feelings doesn't go unnoticed by Jason. But, he doesn't say anything. He doesn't want to know. "Oh, no, he does." Jason's eyes widen. "Everyone can fucking see it." He chortles a little more bitterly than he intended.

"Not to me." You scoff. You look to the ground and back to Jason who hasn't taken his eyes off of you. You look forward and that's when you see a little bit of light from the end of the tunnel. "What's that?" You jerk your head forward, Jason shining the flashlight in that direction.

"Found him." Jason smirks, more to himself than to you.

"So, we're calling Dick, right?" You raise a brow at him as you both keep walking.

Jason just looks at you and he knows you’re being facetious. "You gonna call him? Or you gonna let me fucking do this?"

You sigh. "I'm not gonna stop you." You shake your head. "By the time I go call Dick, it'll be over. Go do your thing, I'll be here if you need help and to make sure you don't kill him." You flash him a smile.

"Thanks." Jason's voice is sincere as he walks further ahead of you, ready to take out the walking, talking lightbulb.

Dr. Light is using his energy or taking energy from the tunnels, Jason and you can't quite tell. But, while doing that, it sees he also sucks the energy from Jason's flashlight, it dying while Jason bangs it with his hand. This gets Dr. Light's attention.

"What? The big kids weren't available?" Dr. Light asks once he's on his feet. "They sent Junior Robin." The whole tunnel goes dark and suddenly you’re anxious. Maybe you should have gone with Gar. "Maybe you're just a fanboy."

Jason throws his flashlight off to the side, clearly not having whatever bullshit Dr. Light is going to keep throwing at him. The back of your head starts throbbing, the throbbing echoing to the front. Dr. Light starts firing light bursts, you and Jason dodging out of the way quickly. The throbbing in your head gets louder and more aggressive. Dr. Light lets out a sinister snicker as you move to Jason, grabbing his arm to try and help him up. Dr. Light towers over you both until you get to your feet. You let go and Jason lunges at Dr. Light, punching him in the face with a yell. Dr. Light puts up a good fight and overpowers Jason, throwing Jason right into the wall of the tunnel. He grabs Jason by the collar and throws him to the ground before moving to you.

Your hands glow at your sides, eying Dr. Light. You have no intentions of fighting him today. This isn't exactly what you signed up for but hey, if Jason and you get this guy, that's bonus points for you.

"Some competition." Dr. Light cackles before shooting a light burst at you but you’re faster because of the throbbing. You were out of the way before the light burst even left Dr. Light.

"Maybe for you," You snark, looking just past him where Jason is kneeling, getting to his feet. "Not for us though." You shoot acid at him, just missing as he dodges and he laughs but as he's turning around, you’re already throwing a knife, the knife grazing his arm.

Dr. Light glares at you, feeling the blood trickle down his arm. He's not going easy on either of you now, he will not be beaten up by two little Tikes. But, Jason is back on his feet now, a look of determination and stubbornness that you can make out even in the dark tunnel.

"Hey, Lightbulb." Jason snarks, getting his attention. "Pick on someone your own fucking size."

Dr. Light takes the opportunity to shoot light bursts at Jason but Jason is also quicker and dodges them and blocks them with his cape. You officially think the cape is the coolest part of his suit. The light didn't do anything to Jason or his cape. It's actually really cool.

"Is it light like light beer light?" Jason quips.

"Shut the fuck up." Dr. Light yells, shooting more light bursts at Jason. You stand behind Dr. Light, letting Jason do his thing as promised and you have to admit, this guy is a fucking idiot. Jason and you have him cornered and he can't even focus on both of you. The older Titans are so scared of him...because?

"Fuck you!" Jason yells before he storms Dr. Light.

Jason starts punching him and Dr. Light can't get a single hit in. You stand back and let him just go for it. He let you go after Jerry, so you let him go after Dr. Light. You do, however, stand with a knife in your hand, the other hand glowing faintly as if waiting for this to go south. If Dr. Light suddenly gets this burst of energy, you want to be prepared to step in and help Jason. But, by the look of Jason grabbing him and pining Dr. Light to the ground, you don't think he'll need it.

"This Titan's back bitch." Jason snarls before going in for more punches to Dr. Light's face.

You move closer anyway as Jason's punches get more erratic and aggressive, getting the sense you'll have to pull him off. As you watch, you get a glimpse of how Jason felt that night. Based on things Jason has said, you know he views Jerry like he views any other villain, a waste of space. There is not a single part of you that thinks he was ever against you beating him up. He only pulled you off so you wouldn't be a murderer and have to live with the repercussion of that. And you get it because while watching him is actually pretty badass and, albeit, very attractive, it is worrisome.

He's aggressive and filled of fire. It's like he could go through this for hours and not get tired. You don't want him to be so angry anymore. He doesn't deserve to have so much aggression in him. He's better than that, he's worth more than that. And you want to stop him because there's this throbbing starting again in the back of your head. Dr. Light is on the ground, Jason has him, someone is coming. The throbbing intensifies, right at the base of your head and you know.

You spin around, only to be met with Deathstroke, holding his sword out a centimeter from your face. Your heart stops, your breath caught in your throat while time freezes. This is so much worse than Dr. Light and it’s only going to get worse. Jason is going to turn around and probably lose it. And Dr. Light starts cackling underneath Jason as Jason pauses for a breath.

Jason thinks he's just a twisted fuck for a second. Surely, this guy isn’t crazy enough to think getting the shit beat out of him is funny. That's the only logical explanation except that you haven't said a single word and you’re not in his eyesight anymore.

"Jay?" You call and your voice is so small, Jason's heart sinks.

He turns around slowly and there's Deathstroke with a sword to your face. Jason's entire heart feels like it's been ripped from his chest. It's nearly paralyzed him. He didn't prepare for this and suddenly, he's drowning in his own regret. He should have known better.

"Drop the knife." Deathstroke says calmly.

You suck in a breath, eyes locked on Deathstroke. Jason watches as his eyes are filled with panic and you drop the knife, the metal clanking against the concrete beneath you. You both are so fucked. Dr. Light gets the upper hand now, grabbing Jason by the cape and punching him. Jason lets out a yell as Dr. Light attacks him.

On instinct, you take a step back, turning around to face Dr. Light. You don’t make any further movements, knowing Deathstroke could stab you and kill you at any point. But, you’re not going to face Deathstroke while Dr. Light decides he can target Jason now.

"Just stop!" You yell out. "What? Guys can't lay a hand on the other Titans so you target us?" You yell to try and distract Dr. Light but it's no use.

Jason gets knocked out with one of the punches, Dr. Light considering it a job well done and before you can even process anything else, there’s a harsh hit to your head, sending you unconscious as well.

Gar heard Jason scream and you yelling something incoherent from the tunnel he went down. His heart and stomach drop right to his feet. He immediately starts sprinting to where the two of you went. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew the second Jason brought up splitting up, it would be a bad idea. And he had a worse feeling when you remained silent. It's unlike you to be quiet and he thought maybe it was because you agreed with him, that you should tell Dick. You just didn't want to argue with Jason and only agreed to it because you feel you owe him. But, now, he's thinking maybe it really was just that you wanted this, too and Gar is kicking himself because he should have known. He should have known the two of you going off together would only end in a disaster and his thoughts are confirmed when he reaches the tunnel you were in.

He finds Jason’s tossed flashlight, one of your knives, and two streaks of blood on the pavement. Gar is about to lose his mind in a fit of panic. You and Jason have been kidnapped.

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[kandisheek]

You asked for prompts, so maybe awkward fem!Bucky getting flustered and pines over very self-confident and amazing fem!Tony? 👀

Fuck yes, I love fem!Winteriron! Here we go.

---

Steve had expected many things when he’d brought Becky into the tower. Mistrust, tension and fear being chief among them.

What he hadn’t expected was to bear witness to Jane Rebecca Barnes, former maneater and ladykiller, becoming a nervous, insecure wreck. And not because of the brainwashing either.

“Would you quit fidgeting?” Steve asked, and Becky turned around to give him a glare that had probably sent many a man running for his life.

“I’m not!” She started pacing again, looking exactly like the nervous Nelly she’d always told him he was. “What time is it?”

Steve glanced at his watch. “Why?”

“Just –” Becky huffed. “What time?”

“You going somewhere?”

“No, I’m –” She whipped around at the sound of the elevator opening to reveal Toni Stark, dressed in a burgundy pantsuit.

“– gotta give me more than that if they want to –” she paused, pulling her phone away from her ear. “Did I miss lunch?”

“No, you’re right on time,” Becky said, and Steve raised an eyebrow at the way her hands were fidgeting where she’d clasped them behind her back, out of Toni’s view. “I just –”

“Great. Grab your shit, we’re going out.” Toni’s eyes fell on Steve. “You coming too?”

“He’s busy,” Becky blurted before Steve could say anything. She gave him a half-threatening, half-desperate glare that Steve had to make a real effort not to laugh at. He schooled his features and cleared his throat.

“Actually, I –”

“Yep, we should leave. Right now,” Becky said, drawing a finger across her throat as soon as Toni’s back was turned. Steve stuck his tongue out at her, and Becky’s frown deepened as she grabbed her jacket and flung it over her shoulders. Toni pouted as soon as she saw it.

“Hey, where’s your new coat?”

“Um.” Becky froze, looking like a deer in the headlights. “It’s… upstairs?”

“Did you not like it?” Toni asked, and Becky’s shoulders rose, a horrified look crossing her face.

“Did… Did you leave that in my room?”

“Who else?” Toni huffed, propping her hands up on her waist. “You won’t take my card to go shopping, so I did it for you.”

“I didn’t know you bought it for me,” Becky said, her voice a little too high-pitched, and Toni sighed.

“Is that a problem? Because I can knock it off if it bothers you. It’s just –” Toni made a frustrated noise, gesturing up and down Becky’s body. “Fuck, look at you! You’re a fucking bombshell, and all you wear are the same three black shirts!” Toni folded her hands, giving Becky the sort of puppy eyes she must’ve perfected when she was really small. “Please let me buy you some clothes? I promise they’ll match your style.”

“I –” Becky looked at Steve like she was begging for help, but Steve just shrugged. He’d gone through the exact same thing when he’d moved into the tower. Sometimes it was easier to just let Toni have her way.

“Come on, Jane,” Toni whined, hooking her arm through Becky’s and pressing in close. “You’re killing me here! Please, just one shopping trip, I promise I’ll leave you alone after.”

Steve pressed a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing at the look on Becky’s face, the stiff way she held herself as Toni touched her. Holy shit, was she blushing?

“Okay, Toni,” she mumbled, and Toni whooped, dragging Becky into the elevator. Becky stumbled after her, uncoordinated and clumsy in a way Steve had never seen her. Steve wished he had a camera to capture the moment, if only so he could send it to Becky later.

Becky Barnes crushing on the richest woman in America? Oh, he would never let her live this down.

Steve watched them as the elevator doors closed and was surprised when Toni’s face slipped from her usual confident smile into something a lot more real. Something Steve would almost call fond, right up until Toni smirked, her eyes trailing down Becky’s body in a way that was hard to misinterpret.

Becky didn’t notice, fiddling with the hem of her sleeve, but Steve caught Toni’s eye across the room and raised an eyebrow at her. Toni stared right back at him, unashamed, and Steve let his eyes flick over to Becky before he frowned, making his position known without words. Toni gave him a tiny nod, stepping a little closer to Becky, and Steve smiled, reassured.

Poor Becky had no idea what she’d gotten herself into. And Steve would enjoy every minute of the show.

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You can also find this fic on AO3, right here :)