#yearning mode ACTIVATED

[butchharts]

idk if long distance relationships are like this for anyone else but I feel like they give me strong motivation to keep working hard so I can see my lover !!

[veezm0]

hey google why do i photosynthesize

[greencheekconure27]

Going on a gardening website to figure out which spot would be best for those dahlias I bought was a mistake.Now I want ALL the dahlias.All of them I said.As well as y'know, a couple dozen other plants that I haven't got time or money (and probably skills) for. *yearns*

[lestantique]

[vhaos-chaotic-writing]

Hi hi!!!

Can I request a yandere Orion Pax/Optimus Prime x cybertronian! Reader??? (Transformers One)

Yes yes, more TFO Orion Pax and Optimus Prime yes yes. ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

(TFO) Yandere!Orion Pax / Optimus Prime x Cybertronian!Reader - "Rebirth"

WARNINGS: Yandere behaviour. Obsessive and possessive behaviour, Reader gets basically kidnapped and isolated. Reader is gender neutral.

The days in Iacon started to slowly become brighter - the public murder of Sentinel Prime and Megatron's vanishment shook Iacon for too many days, making the days feel tense. But Elita-1, Bumblebee and Optimus Prime did such good at becoming the three lights of hope and guidance for Iacon.

Still, you couldn't help but miss the old days (of course, leaving out the corruption and social injustice of those days). You really shouldn't be remembering with some kind of nostalgia those days of hard shifts to be done until you were nearly feeling all of your joints hurt and have to suffer verbal harrassment from the guards just because of the work title you had as a miner.

... but deep down in your spark, you missed the Orion Pax you once knew.

Orion Pax, the pain in the aft for the guards and the mech who sometimes acted before thinking, having both Elita-1 and D-16 behind him and trying to keep him from getting in trouble or drag someone into the trouble (D-16 was always the one to suffer the latter). And the mech who was constantly courting you - little flirts and pick up lines, holding your servo at recharging hours, helping you in the working shifts, supporting you emotionally or making sure you didn't got hurt.

You were sure Orion Pax was the mech you wanted to court back oficially and become his Conjux - and he was damn sure he wanted that too! You miss those recharge hours that, before going into stasis mode, he would promise you to become your Conjux Endura and you, his.

And sadly, as the new Prime and head of Iacon, Orion - well, Optimus now didn't had that much free time: he had to be a leader, take decisions on the reconstruction socially and morally on Iacon, plan defense tactics against the Quintessons, and also keep an eye for any Decepticon activity as they have recently started to make a few little troubles outside of Iacon. And you were perfectly aware at how time consuming and sacrifice those tasks were - Optimus was moving for the sake of moving his people to reach a better life. And that only made you yearn more for him and love him silently, too.

Primus was still merciful, for whenever you and him managed to cross paths, Optimus Prime would give you those soft smiles you were used to, wishing you a good day and make sure to at least visit you a couple of kliks before you went to recharge.

"He still loves you." Elita-1 said to you one day you and she got to match your breaks.

"Really?" You ask, hopeful as the pink fembot nods her helm.

"He is always counting the kliks before it is time to go and recharge and see you again. Primus - he sometimes gets lost in his own thoughts and when Bee points out that he might be thinking about you, Optimus gets all blue of embarrassment." The fembot chuckles, making you chuckle as well and feel your spark warm.

That talk made you feel at ease - Optimus still loved you, just as you loved him. Still, you couldn't help but feel saddened at how much the two of you had to do and that kept you away from being with each other - to finally confess your feelings for the mech.

You shake your helm a little, taking a deep breath to then exhale as you place carefully a few datapads in their respective shelves at one of the recording rooms. "Keep your helm cool, (Y/N) - he is a Prime now and he is acting like one, he must look for our people... there will be time soon to meet again and bond with him." You try to tell yourself and lift your own mood. You smile to yourself, deciding to remain hopeful yet with your pedes on reality and keep working.

As you work, a big frame remains hidden from your knowledge outside of the room, a few steps away from the entrance.

When Orion felt his cold frame be embraced by the warm light of the Allspark and his spark be set on once again - to then hear his new name be called... he came to terms that he died. To then be reborn.

Rebirthing was always been a studied yet not spoken concept in the Cybertronian society. There were many theories that being reborn was possible - Primus works in such interesting ways... of course, many that believe in said concept always come to the same conclusion: a cybertronian can go through the process of rebirth. But it will never be the same.

You name it - lost memories that are now deep buried in their systems and softwares, old mannerism from their past lives still engraved in their spark but never recalling when those mannerisms appeared in the first place, and so on. The same, but changed.

And that's what happened to Orion - he knew who he was before dying, but also didn't feel like Orion, but now as Optimus Prime. The same, but changed.

His love for you... did change, too.

He still loved you - with such a fiery passion, the same one that kept him pushing and moving when he was out of Iacon with Elita, Bee and (his now lost) D-16. He wanted to bring justice for his people and you, give you what you were taken from: the right to live.

He still felt his spark buzz and pulsate at the sight of you - precious, beautiful, ethereal you.

But, while when he was just Orion Pax, his love for you felt fuzzy, warm and innocent... now it felt - too complex.

When he saw you again after Megatron's vanishment and your T-cog making your frame change a little, he felt his spark vibrate with such intensity. He wanted to hold you and not let go, let his spark and yours fuse until they were just one. He wanted to keep you in his arms and carry you, never let you once again work, walk or waste energy in any sense - he wanted to keep you safe and sound, in his hold, hugging you and let you rest as much as you want.

Each time he saw you interact with others made his spark hiss - it scared him as the need to take you and not let others talk or see you grew and grew. He knew it was wrong. It was more than wrong. He always prayed to Primus silently for strenght, trying to force himself ot not seek out for you just to see you - but his spark would agonize, pulsate with such hysteria and pain that it would only calm down after setting Optimus' optics on you from afar.

Optimus wants to feel guilty for this changed love for you and how he takes advantage of his new title to task you with small jobs that keeps you isolated from others, like fixing archives and datapads in the recording rooms or such.

He begged to Primus to have his spark teared off - he was becoming the same false Prime that ruled over them before. Or worse.

"Oh, Or- I mean, Optimus." Your sweet voice makes Optimus click back into reality, finding you right in front of him, holding a few datapads with your servos, giving him that gentle smile with your faceplate.

"I was looking for you." Optimus announced as you left the datapads on the desk of the recording room. And his spark purred at the sight of your smile growing, brightly as always.

"Oh, really? I mean - what can I do for you?" You ask. And your spark twirls when Optimus extends his servo at you to hold. And you gladly take it, his hold strong and warm, still gentle with you as he starts to walk. And Optimus can't help but smile softly as he sees how you follow him.

The Prime looks down at you, his optics holding that genuine love that was slowly twisting into something that scared him - and yet, allows to keep going. After all, his mind didn't stop his body when he started to walk towards your working area.

"I've been meaning to... speak with you - sadly, my tasks as a Prime had kept me from looking after you before. But I've decided to no longer await." Optimus explains, his thumb gently caressing your servo. "Would you... care for a little chat in my headquarters?"

You nod - Precious you. Perfect you.

Optimus feels his spark twirl, again. He hoped you liked the idea of living with him now. After all, if he wanted to court you properly to become a worthy Conjux, he needed to show you how much you meant to him. How much he loved you.

Don't worry - Optimus Prime will keep you safe. Away from any danger, away from anyone, away from the world.

Hehe I love Optimus Prime. o((>ω< ))o Vhaos out!

[pitchsidestories]

the kids are alright II Barcelona Femení x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1666

a/n: inspired by this request here, enjoy.

summary: the Barça youngsters see Lucy and you as their team mums, a game against your Spanish teammates doesn’t change the love you've for them.

pairings: Barcelona Femeni x Reader (platonic), Lucy Bronze x Reader (romantic)

Such team mums.

She had even dared to add an eye-rolling emoji to her comment.

You sighed.

This was not what you had expected when you checked your phone right after training ended.

Not even your Instagram posts were save from the Barca youngsters.

The notification saying that Esmee had commented under your post had already made you nervous, but you had not expected to be called that.

And the likes on her comment! Way too many in your humble opinion.

You scanned your post again. It was a simple photo of you and Lucy at your last game with Esmee, Vicky and Salma sandwiched between the two of you.

You shook your head slightly. Calling you and Lucy team mums had apparently become a running gag between the youngsters. And had now also made it to social media.

When you looked over, Esmee was in the motion of leaving the training pitch, looking as innocent as ever. Like she hadn’t just called you a team mum on the internet.

Lucy appeared on your side, sipping water from her water bottle. Her cheeks were still red from the training session.

Wordlessly, you thrusted your phone towards Lucy.

You watched as she studied the photo. She then turned to you with an “Is she really serious right now?“-look.

“Esmee!“

The dutch player blinked innocently at her: “Yes, Lucy?“

“I swear I will delete all your damn comments!“, the defender threatened, only the slightest quirk of her mouth revealed that she wasn’t serious.

Esmee smirked: “I don’t know why you’re so upset about that.“

“We’re not your mums!“, Lucy said with emphasis.

“No. But you behave like you are.“, Vicky sided with Esmee, smiling brightly at you.

You grimaced: “We don’t.“

“Sure.“, Salma grinned.

You and Lucy shared an annoyed look.

You decided to finally give up: “Alright, see you children on the pitch next week for the England versus Spain match. Except for Esmee.“

“We’ll beat you.“, Salma shrugged unimpressed.

Esmee rolled her eyes: “I will totally have a hard time without anyone telling me what to do.“

Mapi wrapped her arms around the young Dutch player from behind: “Don’t worry, Esmee. You’ll still have me for that.“

Esmee shot her a critical look: “You’re not a mum, Mapi. You’re more like the crazy aunt.“

“Excuse me?!“ Mapis face dropped and you had to bite back your laughter.

“Ignore the kid, Mapi.“, Lucy adviced with a dismissive hand gesture.

Mapi turned to Esmee: “Don’t you dare comment that on my posts.“

You sighed quietly. Of course, Mapi had already seen the comment too.

“I’d never.“, the Dutch player promised, her voice dripping with innocence.

You shot her an amused glance: “Lies.“

The cold temperature and the rain that just wouldn't stop made you shiver, even as a woman born in England. You had to admit to yourself that by now you were spoilt by the sun and warmth of Barcelona. How you yearned for that in this moment!

It wasn't long until the game, both teams were just surveying the pitch and you realised that the young Spanish players were not happy about the weather conditions.

“Hi children.”, Lucy was the first to greet them with a huge grin on her lips.

“Hey, mums.”, Jana chirmed.

“Ready for the game?”, the older defender asked.

“We’re.”, Salma nodded enthusiastically.

“And you’re not too cold? That’s quite a weather change from Barcelona?”, you raised an eyebrow worriedly.

“Mum mode activated.”, Vicky rolled her eyes at you.

“I was just asking!”, you protested laughing.

“We’re fine.”, the seventeen-year-old assured you.

“Good.”, you remarked.

“And we’re not even on your team.”, Salma threw in with an amused smile.

“I know.”, you told her.

“Just letting you kids know that I’ll go as hard in as I’ve to but after the game I’ll check if you’re okay.”, Lucy warned them.

“We don’t need to be looked after.”, Vicky insisted.

It would be a tough 90-minute game. The rain which kept pouring made the grass slippery underneath the players feet. Somehow Beth was able to score in the last minute of the game and the lionesses pulled the Arsenal forward into a group hug.

Afterwards your girlfriend and you walked to the defeated Spanish players, you promised them to do a jersey exchange, but you knew the small gesture wouldn’t help against the pain of their loss. 

“You weren’t bad either.”, Salma replied.

“Weren’t bad? We won.”, Lucy reminded her.

“Yeah, you did.”, Vicky muttered, shoulders shrink while she looked down to the wet grass, the watery pearls seemed like tears.

“Congrats Kei, Luce and y/n.”, Alexia hugged each of you. The captain of your club team was clearly disappointed in their performance as a whole but especially by her own. 

“Thanks. Good game, Ale.”, you responded truthfully.

“You were great too.”, she admitted, happy to have you usually in her team and not as an opponent.

Suddenly you realized that your girlfriend who didn’t leave your side since the referee had ended the game wasn’t there anymore.

“Where’s Lucy?”, you wanted to know from your teammate.

“She’s babysitting again.”, Alexia explained grinning, pointing into the direction where Lucy was handing the young Barcelona girls their jackets, making sure they’re staying warm despite the cold.

“It’s cute.”, you commented, seeing their interactions and your lover in the centre of it warmed your heart.

“Thanks for cheering them up, they need that. It wasn’t a good game.”, the midfielder said gratefully.

You trained your gaze back on Alexia and gently smiled at her: “You’re welcome. Losing is always hard, especially when you’re young and not used to it.“

“Right.“, she replied, biting her lip.

You knew that she still struggled with lost games, even as an experienced player so you quietly pulled her in for a hug.

She didn’t fight it and relaxed a bit. Enough for you to know that she had needed the hug.

Lucys voice drifted towards you as she instructed the young players: “Don’t forget your recovery, girls!“

“Sure, Lucia.“, Vicky said in a mocking tone and rolled her eyes.

At the same time Alexia let go of you, pulling out of the embrace and looked over at her teammates. With a stern expression, she watched as the younger players slowly made their way towards the dressing rooms.

“And keep your head high!“, you called after them.

Salma turned her head towards you and grimaced.

You almost laughed about her reaction. They might make fun of you, calling you team mums but they enjoyed being the children a little too much as well.

Janas face appeared next to Alexia, beaming at you and Lucy who finally joined your group now that the children were taken care of.

“You’d be such good mums one day!“, she squealed.

Alexia shrugged nonchalantly: “Agreed. But no pressure, I want to have you two as long in my team as possible.“

She raised her eyebrows with a smirk.

“So do we.“, you laughed.

Lucy grinned: “Don’t worry, we have enough children for now.“

“We do.“, you agreed.

A buzzing noise in the pocket of your jacket startled you. You carefully pulled out your phone, an Instagram notification on your screen.

You already knew what would come next.

“Oh my god, Esmee commented again!“

“Again?!“, Lucy echoed and slid closer to you so she could have a look at your phone too.

“Yes, on the lionesses latest post. See?“

Lucy released a breath: “I’m going to murder her!“

“Don’t.“, you said calmly while replying to Esmees comment with a simple heart emoji.

Maybe it was time to embrace being the team mums.

“I’ll take her phone then!“, Lucy suggested.

“Yes, that’s a good idea.“, you laughed.

Your girlfriend rolled her eyes with obvious fondness: “These children.“

“You love them though.“

“Maybe…“, she admitted slowly but with sparkling eyes. She looked lost in her own thoughts.

Playfully, you elbowed her in the side: “What are you thinking about?“

She shook her head and answered more seriously: “Nothing. Let’s go back to our team.“

“Alright.“, you said, waving goodbye to Alexia and Jana.

“Come on. The children will be alright.”, Lucy remarked softly.

“Fine.”, you agreed, hoping that in the save four walls of your hotel room the defender would be able to tell you what she was thinking about.

Later you were wrapped up in your bathrobe and noticing how unusually quiet your girlfriend was. Cautiously you sat down next to her on the bed.

“Luce, you’ve been suspiciously silent, so what’s on your mind?”

The stillness in the room became almost unbearable to you.

Slowly, the fellow footballer turned her face round to look at you.

“Maybe she’s got a point. We would be great mums.”, Lucy admitted emotionally.

“Yes, I agree.”, you nodded, feeling the significance of this conversation you were having.

“You do?”, the dark-haired woman asked in return.

“Yes, just not because they said it though.”, you emphasized.

“No, of course not.”, Lucy replied.

“Maybe we should give it a try? Not right away but soon?”, you suggested nervously.

“I’d love to have children with you actually.”, Lucy confessed in an earnest tone.

“Me too.”, you told her before she cupped your face with her hands to give you a heartfelt kiss. There was something promising in those kisses like it was the beginning of something new.

A couple of months had passed since the match against Spain. During the dinner with your Barcelona teammates at the training grounds Lucy handed Jana a little box.

The younger woman glanced at your girlfriend excitedly.

“Is this what I think it’s?”

“Find out and open it.”, the older defender smirked.

Your lover didn’t need to tell her twice, Jana unwrapped the box quickly and let out a delighted squeal once the player saw what was inside, a little pair of sneakers.

She knew immediately what the meaning behind those were and went to pull you two into a hug, while the other teammates followed suit.

[shall-we-die]

╔‌‌‌‌•°🧿༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚

{Yearn}

How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻🌊༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•╡

↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Obey me!}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Yandere behaviors}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0100}┈─╮

╭──────┈┈┈┈┈───────╯

╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

╚•°🧿༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚‌‌‌

↬|Lucifer|

He’d spend a painfully long amount of time watching you from a distance. His intense, possessive desire to have you would torment him to no end- and he’d spend days, weeks, if not months, watching you from afar and desperately trying to repress his feelings for you. Until one day, he’d snap and lose all control. Not being able to hold himself back anymore and deciding to finally capture you and have you all to himself.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Mammon|

Mammon would likely have been pining after MC for a long time before snapping. He would have likely been watching and obsessing over them for months or even years before finally taking action. Mammon would have been building up his desire to possess them for a while, and would eventually have been unable to resist his intense feelings. This long period of pining would likely drive Mammon mad and cause his mental state to deteriorate further, until he reached a breaking point and finally abducted MC.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Leviathan|

Levi would likely pine after MC for quite some time before he eventually snaps. his initial shyness and fear of rejection would probably cause him to keep his feelings bottled up for a long time, until the combination of his jealousy and obsessiveness causes him to finally snap. this could happen when he sees MC with someone else, or when he feels like he's being ignored or rejected by them. once he snaps, his full yandere mode would activate, and he would go to extreme lengths to make MC his.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Satan|

Satan's obsession with MC would likely start from the moment he first sees them or interacts with them. He may immediately become fixated on them, and start fantasizing about having them all to himself. As time goes on, his obsession would likely become stronger and more intense, as he continues to think about MC constantly and obsess over the idea of possessing them. As for how long he would pine before snapping, it would depend on a variety of factors, such as how resistant MC is, how much access Satan has to them, and how stable his own mental state is.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Asmondeus|

Asmodeus would not necessarily have a set timeline for how long he would pine after MC before he snaps. However, given his possessive and obsessive nature, it's likely that he would lose his patience relatively quickly if MC shows any interest in someone else or rejects his advances. He might try to play it cool for a while, but if MC doesn't show any interest in him or gives any indication of wanting to be with someone else, he will likely start to become more intense and desperate in his pursuit.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Beelzebub|

Beelzebub may have been pining after MC for a long time before he acts on his feelings. The length of time before he “snaps” could vary greatly, depending on a number of factors, including his own psychological state and the specific circumstances of their relationship. In some cases, the pressure and intensity of his unrequited feelings may have been building for a significant period, potentially even years. On the other hand, a sudden trigger or event could also cause him to suddenly snap and act on his desires.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Belphegor|

Quite awhile, actually. He's patient. He's waited for hundreds of years for something, having to wait more means nothing to him. He'll secretly pine after you for a while, watching from the shadows. Then he'll start getting more possessive and protective of you, until it eventually reaches a point where he *snaps* and can't keep himself in check with you anymore. He'll get very clingy, very possessive, and very intense. He'll demand your attention and you belong to him and only him.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Diavolo|

Diavolo's pining after MC would likely be intense and obsessive from the moment he met them. However, the exact timeline of how long it takes for him to reach his breaking point is difficult to pinpoint, as it would depend on various factors such as MC's receptiveness to his advances, his own psychological state, and the circumstances of their interactions. In any case, given his intense and possessive tendencies, it wouldn't take long for him to become completely obsessed and consumed by his obsession for MC.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Barbatos|

Barbatos most likely has been pining after you for a long time before resorting to drastic measures like abduction. He may have been observing you from afar, studying your habits and behaviors, and waiting for the right time to act. It's likely that he's been slowly building up his obsession with you over time, and that the abduction was simply the final step in his plan to claim you as his own.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Simeon|

It's difficult to say exactly how long he would pine after mc before he snaps, as it depends on various factors such as his personality, the circumstances that lead to his obsession, and the intensity of his feelings for them. However, generally speaking, a yandere is likely to develop their obsession and fixation on their love interest relatively quickly, often within a few days or weeks. As their obsession deepens, they may become increasingly possessive, paranoid, and protective, eventually leading to them snapping and taking drastic action to keep them under their control.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Solomon|

The amount of time Solomon would pine after MC before "snapping" would depend on several factors, such as his level of obsession and his emotional stability. In general, the longer he pines, the more likely he is to become more desperate and more willing to resort to extreme measures to win MC's affection. Some yanderes may take months or even years to snap, while others might become unhinged after just a few weeks of pining. However, in the case of Solomon, given his background and personality, it is likely that he would not wait for too long before acting on his feelings.

||[🅈earn]||

━●━━━━━━────────

     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🅇ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🅉▷ㅤㅤ↻

[buckyseddie]

give it another chance

pairings — fred weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, featuring platonic!bff!george weasley x fem!hufflepuff!reader, platonic!bff!cho chang x fem!hufflepuff!reader and platonic!bff!cedric diggory x fem!hufflepuff!reader

summary — in which, she's been hurt before, but fred hopes she'll give him a chance.

word count — 5.0k.

warnings — mentions of past heartbreak that reader experienced and having had given up on love and relationships a long time ago because of it, reader has deep, DEEP insecurities and issues with herself, reader is very close with cedric, george and cho, there's slight mention of angelina and fred's possible relationship AND flirting, george, cho, and cedric call her pet-names but they're all platonic, reader and angelina and fred are all good friends (along with the golden trio) but just not as close as she is with cedric, cho, and george, angelina and fred are extremely clueless and oblivious to what's literally RIGHT in front of them, fred worries over reader, cedric and cho protective mode activated lmao, fred gets jealous easily of cedric and reader despite the fact that they're just friends, this is a hurt/comfort fic, fred is kind of a big jerk to cedric because of his jealousy, use of pet-names [sweetheart, love], fluff, angst, fred is sooo whipped for the reader, mentions of the reader experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional/mental abuse in past relationships.

notes — yes, as a matter as a fact, the reader is a hufflepuff because i just love the fred x hufflepuff reader fics and also bc i'm a hufflepuff myself and this is kind of just a fic to comfort me because i deal with the same issues that the reader does and because i've just fallen into my obsession with him again! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

SHE SIGHS, IGNORING THE CONCERNED looks she's quickly receiving from her friends.

"why don't you just tell him how you feel?" george quietly asks, trying to not irritate the girl, following her line of sight to the table where fred is sat with his girl friend sitting beside him.

"george, please. don't start this again." she mumbles, turning to look away from the other twin when he suddenly looks over to her direction.

he sighs, his eyes becoming filled with sympathy. "why not? everyone knows about how you feel. if you tell him how you feel, he'd immediately stop his flirtations with angelina." he murmurs seriously as she rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath.

"aren't you supposed to be sitting with him anyways? this is where us hufflepuffs sit." she rolls her eyes again as he throws a pointed look at her, knowing that she's only trying to change the subject.

"c'mon, darling. don't lie to me — or try to change the subject. this is me," he states seriously, raising his eyebrows at her as she sighs shakily, beginning to push her food away. "i'm always here for you."

"george... it really doesn't matter — it doesn't matter at all, how i feel about him. don't you see?" she asks him, her voice wavering in emotion as they both glance back at fred and angelina.

tears cloud her eyes as she gulps, trying to ignore the heartache and the sound of the crack in heart, while george watches her in concern — he knows this look too well.

anytime that [y/n] has ever loved or liked someone, she'd always wear that broken look on her face, after pushing them away and hiding her true feelings.

she just couldn't deal with allowing herself to let someone in — the last time she did, she experienced an insane amount of pain and trauma. she couldn't let anyone in again, after that.

but, even as she watches angelina and fred flirt so naturally with each other, not only does her heart split even further, but a part of her yearns to be with him.

more than anything, she wishes she could let go of the worry and fear of getting her heart broken again. but, it's not possible.

"he's happy with her. he doesn't feel that way about me and i can't just ruin that because of my feelings," she states, trying to keep her voice level. "besides, i can't tell him for other obvious reasons."

"merlin, [y/n]. don't do this to yourself — you can't keep punishing yourself." cedric speaks up, already having enough of the self-destructive behavior of his best friend.

"guys, just leave it alone," she inhales deeply as she prepares to lie straight through her teeth. "i've moved on. now it's your turn to do the same."

—————

GEORGE WALKS INTO HIS AND his twin's dorm room, only to notice fred sitting quite tensely on his bed, seemingly stuck in his own mind.

"brother, are you alright?" his brother's voice startles him out of his thoughts as he snaps his head up.

"oi! don't sneak up on me like that!" he yells in a joking tone of voice, immediately making the decision to hide his clear stress with humor — something that he does all too much.

george fixes his twin with a familiar look, as if to say, "seriously?"

fred sighs in defeat, avoiding his brother's worried glance for a moment.

"seriously, fred. what's going on? i've never seen you so upset like this before."

with another sigh, he catches his brother's concerned eyes. "[y/n]'s been acting different lately — i reckon she's been avoiding me."

a knowing look crosses george's face, causing fred to frown in confusion. "brother... what do you know about this?"

even with his undying loyalty to his twin — his best friend in the entire world — he wouldn't dare betray [y/n]'s trust and expose her feelings, even if he wants his brother and his good friend to finally be together and would do just about anything to make it happen.

despite how quiet and reserved [y/n] is, she can be quite scary when someone hurts or angers her. and boy, when she's angry, that is something he'd rather avoid than witness because of his own stupidity.

so, still with the knowing look in his eyes, he half-lies, "nothing. i just noticed that she was quite upset herself earlier at dinner."

hearing this, fred's ears perk up at this.

though, from the way his brother avoids looking him in the eyes, he quickly suspects that he knows more than he's letting on.

"georgie, what are you not telling me?" he questions, slightly louder than intended, as his brother simply shrugs, a small smirk placed on his lips.

with clear frustration, fred ignores his brother's weird behavior, going to grab his jumper. throwing it on, he quickly walks past his brother to the door of their dorm.

"what are you going to do?" he questions, worrying that a confrontation might make things worse for [y/n].

with that same tense look on his face, which quickly changes into one of determination, fred turns to face his brother, only for a moment. "i'm going to find out what's going on and i'm going to fix it."

and with that, he pulls the door open and rushes off down the stairs, not giving george a chance to respond to him, or to even stop him.

—————

THERE'D BEEN A PARTY IN the gryffindor's common room — george and fred had been lucky to not have joined the party, this time.

athough, lee had been the one to start it, not without putting a spell on the room to keep the loud talking and music from being heard outside of the room.

cedric had dragged [y/n] along with him and cho chang. but, no matter how many times her best friend tried to cheer her up, it was no use.

she couldn't stop thinking about fred and her feelings — and god knows whatever's going on between him and angelina.

though, someone appearing in front of her shakes her out of her miserable train of thoughts.

"[y/n]! how are you?" angelina asks, that familiar sweet and kind smile placed on her face.

despite her hurt feelings over fred and her refusal to admit anything, she knows that she hates the girl stood in front of her.

not only because of the fact that she's her friend, but because of the fact that angelina is perfect. and more importantly to [y/n], she's perfect for fred.

fred — someone she's cared for and loved for such a long time. despite how much she cares for him and how hurt she is by the aching pain in her heart, she couldn't ever be selfish for her own desires — more than anything, she wants him to be happy.

so, with a forced smile and the action of blinking away her tears, she answers her, "i'm fine! why? do i not seem okay?" she questions her cautiously and worriedly, scared that she's not as good of an actor as she thought.

"oh, no! i just mean fred and i haven't see you in a while and we've both been quite concerned for you." she explains, the worry and kindness very evident in her eyes.

at the very mention of the boy she loves, [y/n]'s facial expression falters. "o—oh... " she trails off, taking notice of the way angelina described herself and fred. was there truly something else going on between them — possibly something much more than she'd initially suspected?

both cho and cedric wear both awkward and sympathetic looks, knowing how uncomfortable the conversation is for their friend. though, she doesn't admit it.

after all, she wants her two friends to be happy, even if it means it won't be her being with one of those said friends.

quickly masking the pain that she feels into an expression of fake happiness, [y/n] turns to cedric and his girlfriend. "why don't you guys go on and enjoy the party? i'll be fine."

cedric, remaining the ever-so-loyal-friend, hesitates, while cho decides to pull him away from the two girls, having faith in [y/n]'s strength of character.

"are you sure?" he asks, continuing to hesitate as his girlfriend tries to pull him away.

[y/n] rolls her eyes and lightly shoves him towards his girlfriend, making sure to not push him too hard into her. "just go."

a few seconds later, cho successfully leads her boyfriend across the room to talk to harry, ron, and hermione, who are across the room. though, they're also watching [y/n] very carefully.

as she turns to face her friend stood in front of her, angelina watches her closely, trying to understand what she's feeling. though, she doesn't get a single hint, aside from the glee on her face — obviously this is fake, only to keep her friend from worrying or understanding the true feelings behind her pain.

though, most of the majority of the people at hogwarts know of her feelings towards fred, angelina is among some of the few people that don't know about it — she's too clueless for her own good.

"[y/n]... are you sure everything's alright? you seem... different."

as she goes to open her mouth, surely to give her some bullshit excuse of being fine, something behind her friend catches her attention.

a flash of firey-red hair makes her stop. she gapes as his slightly upset gaze finds her equally just as hurt eyes.

her eyes meet cedric's from across the room in panic, before she glances back at fred, only to notice george now appearing from behind him.

"[y/n]? what's going on?" angelina asks, though [y/n] only hears it as a faraway, muffled voice, before she's able to acknowledge it.

as her panicked eyes find george's, she notices his own worried glance, before looking back at angelina. "i... " she gulps, her throat quickly becoming extremely dry.

"i—i have to go... i'm suddenly feeling terribly sick to my stomach." she lets out in a wavering tone of voice and rushes out of the room, cedric quickly leaving with cho following him, after [y/n].

fred misses them, just as he begins to step forward.

—————

CEDRIC AND CHO FIND HER sitting on a pair of vacant stairs, holding her knees to her chest with her head hiding over them. tears are streaming down her cheeks — the emotions she's been desperately trying to avoid and hide and bottle up, have finally come exploding out.

she heaves in embarrassingly long breaths as both of her friends sit by her on both sides of her.

cedric places a hand over her shoulder, easily pulling his best friend into his chest to hold her as she cries once more, while cho holds one of her hands and squeezes it to comfort her.

"i... i'm so fucking stupid. how did i think i could get through any of this without going mad? and even more than that, it hurts to see them together... "

cedric's eyebrows knit together in an upset manor as he and cho share the same look. "you're not stupid, [y/n]. hardly. if anything, that bloke of a weasley is the one who's an idiot, not you," he murmurs as cho nods in agreement.

"sweetheart, anyone would be mental to not want to be with you. you're better than half the girls that are constantly throwing themselves at him." cho states seriously, which causes [y/n] to let out a choked laugh.

"not better than angelina, though. right?" she sniffles, more tears filling her eyes at the mere thought of her friend and fred getting together and having to see that every day.

"don't think like that." cedric murmurs, immediately tightening his hold on the girl when he notices two red-haired boys making their way near the stairs.

"what do you want, weasley? can't you see she's upset?" cedric exclaims, though not too loud to alert any adults walking around the castle, growing protective over his friend, hating how much pain he's causing her.

don't get me wrong, cedric likes fred — he approves of fred and he thinks he and [y/n] are perfect for each other.

but, in the moment, he would rather keep the weasley boy away, if it would make his best friend's pain lessen.

though, deep down, he knows that it isn't fred's fault. he doesn't know the truth — he's just as oblivious as angelina.

although [y/n] doesn't look up for a second, she knows she has to talk to fred eventually.

so, with a deep breath, she lifts her head up, looking up at the tall weasley twin as she quickly wipes away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

"it's okay, ced. it's not his fault." she croaks out, her throat completely dry and sore from crying so hard.

"are you sure, sweetheart? you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to." cedric states seriously, rubbing his hand up and down one of her arms to further comfort her.

fred catches both the touch and the pet-name and something in him snaps; his jaw clenches and his eyes are lit with both irritation and jealousy. "mate, i'm sure she can speak for herself."

cedric snaps his head in fred's direction, his protective instincts kicking in. "i—"

before he can snap back at fred's angrily-hissed response, both cho and [y/n] abruptly stand up.

"enough!" [y/n] whispers in frustration as cho goes to walk over to her boyfriend, lacing their fingers together and gripping one of his arms gently, in order to keep him from getting into an unnecessary fight with his best friend's best friend.

both fred and cedric's angry looks falter and turn into ones of shock and bewilderment.

cedric quickly calms down as his girlfriend's physical touch eases his anger towards fred, while fred's eyes soften at the obvious pain in [y/n]'s eyes, even as she tries to stay strong in the moment.

despite how much she's been crying about angelina and fred, she steps forward, keeping a strong expression on her face and keeping a safe distance between her and fred.

"both of you enough with the yelling! you're both going to get us in trouble if you keep yelling like that." she whisper-yells before she turns away from fred to face cedric and cho.

"cedric, i appreciate how much you're worried and want to protect me, but i don't need protecting from fred — i can take care of myself," she states.

then, she turns to face fred, who smirks at cedric in response to him getting shut down. "yeah, mate. walk away." he says cockily, still under the impression that there's something between him and [y/n], causing him to be in this reckless state of mind.

this causes cedric's eyes to spark with irritation as he attempts to walk over to him in anger.

though, cho holds him back, murmuring to him to calm down.

"cedric, stop! he's trying to get a rise out of you." she states, becoming slightly angry at the behavior that the two boys are displaying.

"cho, would you please get him out of here? i'm fine, i promise." [y/n] reassures the girl stood beside her boyfriend, who nods in agreement.

"and you! stop being an arse! bloody hell! i don't know where the merlin you're getting this attitude from, but don't take it out on cedric, when he's only trying to be there for me and support me!" she exclaims quietly at fred as cho and cedric begin to walk past them.

though, as they pass fred, cedric stops to mutter something to him in a voice of utter protective instincts for his best friend in the entire world, "don't hurt her or you'll live to regret it!"

fred laughs cockily, once more. "i'd like to see that happen!"

with an annoyed sigh, [y/n] turns to face fred, glaring at him.

cedric, wanting to not to piss off her more than he already has, decides to simply glare at fred, before following cho down the hall and back to the gryffindor's common room.

george steps forward, shoving fred forward a bit, before nodding to the direction that both cho and cedric went off in. "i'm going to leave you kids to yourselves," he states as [y/n] nods gratefully, before he leans in to his brother's ear and whispers, "don't screw this up, brother!"

then, he's off, walking down the hall.

once it's just the two of them, fred clears his throat. he gives her that signature charming smirk of his.

though, she rolls her eyes at him — she's obviously still quite angry with him for his behavior.

"you know, i don't really appreciate you treating cedric like that. he was being protective — he didn't deserve that," she states in a strained voice, trying to ignore the part of her that wants to fall for his tricks and charms. "and i don't appreciate the way you were acting! what in the hell is going on with you?"

fred only rolls his eyes in response. "i was quite wondering the same thing about you, sweetheart," he states, ignoring the angry look in her eyes when he steps forward. "why've you been shutting me out, love? is it because of... diggory?"

"seriously? are you mad? you're not going to even acknowledge how terrible you were just acting towards one of my best friends? instead, you're questioning me with cedric — for what exactly?"

"do you have feelings for him or something? because if you do, i'd rather you just tell me, instead of leaving me confused!" he exclaims, almost angrily as he tosses his hands up in the air in frustration.

"merlin! fred, what in the bloody hell makes you think i have feelings for him? he's my friend — and only that! and last time i checked cho's his girlfriend, aka, my friend!" she groans, so unbelievably aghast that he'd think that about her.

"and if you really think that, then you haven't been paying attention!" she whisper-yells, much more angrily than before.

this, however, only frustrates the weasley boy even more. "what does that mean?" he questions, stepping closer to her, causing her to only step away from him.

after noticing this, it's just another thing about her that aggravates him. "and why do you keep putting this... bloody distance between us?"

she only stares at him in utter anger and confusion. how could he have not seen it, this entire time?

don't get her wrong, she knew that if she was hiding it all very discreetly, then it would all make sense.

but, that's just it.

she hadn't been discreet about it — at all.

even the golden trio know about her feelings for fred and they aren't even that close to her at all. george too!

that just proves how idiotic fred has been this entire time.

because even though she'd tried so hard to hide it, it was all too incredibly obvious of how she feels towards the firey, red-headed twin.

he rolls his eyes at her silence. "well, then? go on! pray tell, what have i not been paying attention to?" he questions in a tense voice.

despite being absolutely obsessed with the girl stood in front of him, he can't help but always feel so frustrated with her at times — times like this, to be honest.

she can be incredibly infuriating at times — much like how he's so infuriating to her.

"you know what!" she whisper-yells, not wanting to admit it quite yet, this time not backing away as he steps closer to her to hiss at her, "i apparently bloody don't!"

tears start to blur her vision at the thought of this entire conversation. why couldn't anything just be easy for her, for once?

her breath comes out shaky, fanning his face — that's how close they are to each other now — as that negative voice in her head starts to yell terrible things at her.

she's fighting internally on whether to tell him the truth or not.

if she tells him the truth, it could very well ruin everything — their friendship, the way he sees her, the relationship she has with his family, all of it.

but, she could also easily make up some lie — some bullshit excuse — that she's just too busy with homework and her classes to hang out with him and that she missed him terribly.

she decides on the latter.

"nothing, fred." she gulps, creating some energy to create some more space between them as she turns away from him.

"i've just been busy with some homework and classes have been overbearing — that's what i felt that you hadn't noticed before. i came to the party to see you — i miss you. 's all." she mutters anxiously, hoping he believes her.

although her excuse seems like it'd make perfect sense, fred doesn't buy it for even one moment.

"[y/l/n], you cannot honestly expect me to believe that for even one single moment. what's really going on?" he questions, a bit softer than before.

hearing him call her by her last name shocks her for a mere moment — he only ever uses her last name to address her when he's being incredibly serious.

as she masks her face into one of stoicness, she turns back to face him. "nothing, freddie. everything's fine."

even though he's just begun to get calmer towards her, he once again becomes completely irritated with her, once more, over the fact that she just lied to him.

"don't lie to me, [y/l/n]!" he exclaims in a small whisper.

her facial expression stays the same, hoping that he'll just eventually leave it alone. but, she knows better than that.

"i know something's bothering you! if it was simply just homework, you'd have told me immediately that that's why you haven't been around. it's more than that, isn't it?"

she throws her hands up in mere irritation. "why does it matter? you're happy with angelina, aren't you?"

fred's eyebrows furrow together in confusion. what did she have to do with this?

"why are you bringing her up? what does that have to do with the fact that you've been avoiding me?" he questions her, becoming much more confused when her eyes fill up with tears, once again.

"merlin, fred... you don't get it!" she exclaims, this time not bothering to care about getting caught anymore.

getting caught by one of the professors and getting in trouble with them would surely be a lot better than having this conversation with a very daft fred weasley.

but, as she turns away, finally deciding that leaving might just be better than being forced to have this very uncomfortable conversation, it's as if everything clicks into place.

fred's brown eyes widen as a light goes off in his head. the realization is too big to spare her of the embarrassment she might feel.

"do you love me?" he suddenly asks, his voice filled with uncertainty.

he couldn't be sure if he was right. but, at this point, he couldn't think of another reason why she'd bring up angelina. or why she'd be avoiding him so much.

he realizes now that it's obvious that this whole time she's been hiding something from him. and he knows now that it isn't because she's hiding something normal that she's going through — she always tells him everything, no matter how embarrassing or humiliating it is.

so, really, the only thing that he can come up with is that she'd be hiding from him is something as complicated as hiding romantic feelings for him.

but, he also feels that that's quite a ridiculous answer to all of his questions.

because... how could someone as extraordinary and beautiful and kind and smart as [y/n] ever care about someone like him in that way?

but, when she suddenly freezes in place, those words making her blood run cold, he knows now that it must be true.

"that's it. isn't it?" he questions once more, waiting for her to face him.

but, she doesn't. she'd rather die or get caught far away from her dorm room by one of the professors, than to have to admit the truth.

"that's why you've been avoiding me and angelina so bloody much!" he exclaims, as if he's finally figured it out.

now that he knows the truth and he's allowed himself to accept it, he swears he feels the feeling of butterflies swarming around his guts.

though, he doesn't get to try to calm himself when he notices the broken expression on [y/n]'s face when she finally turns around to face him.

her cheeks are tear-stained and her eyebrows are pinched together in both frustration and anger.

"say something." he begs when she stays silent.

a shaky breath leaves her lips as she glances away. more tears fill her eyes and they quickly spill down to her cheeks before she can stop them. "it doesn't matter... " she shakily trails off, gulping down her pride.

she could still be her stubborn self and refuse to admit the truth. she could even gaslight and manipulate him into thinking he's crazy, to avoid the truth — just like what has been done to her so many times.

but, for one, she refuses to be the person that doesn't break the cycle or the type of person that becomes the problem. and two? even if she could do to someone of what was done to her, she could never, ever do that to fred — the boy she's so incredibly in love with.

and how could she lie when it's already out in the open? deep down, she knew that this was all going to come out and be revealed eventually.

"why's that?" he asks, voice deep and raspy, hoping to get an answer out of her.

she sniffles, shaking her head. "fred, don't... don't make this more uncomfortable than it has to be. i've ruined everything already," she says, voice wavering and trying whatever she can do to keep her emotions in control. "not after what i've just done."

even though fred can be the most clueless, daft boy at hogwarts, even he can sense the guilt radiating off of her. "love..."

before he can try to comfort her, she holds a hand up at him. "no... don't. please... please, don't tell me that this isn't my fault. because it is. i should've just kept my mouth shut. i couldn't just let you and angelina be happy."

he knits his eyebrows together in confusion. "[y/n], what are you talking about? how is this your fault?"

a small cry leaves her lips as she lifts up her hands in the air in frustration. "i never wanted this!" she exclaims, wiping away the tears off of her face.

his eyebrows raise in shock and he jumps a little at her mini outburst.

"i never wanted to fall in love again, okay? every time i've let someone in because i thought maybe, just maybe, things would be different, it's all ended the same — i've just repeated the cycle of heartache and emotional pain over and over again," she starts, trying to ignore the hurt look that's on his face. "i just wanted to push everyone away and never get into a relationship again. but then, i met you."

fred's quiet as he listens to her and does his best to ignore the anguish in her voice.

"it hurt too much to ever think about going back to that pain again — of getting hurt again, or letting someone in and giving them the key to my heart. i couldn't think about doing that without getting sick to my stomach." more tears fill to her eyes, but she pushes through it, knowing that she needs to get this all out, so that he really understands.

i mean, of course he knows. how could he not? he's her actual best friend. but, that doesn't mean that he doesn't really know to the full extent.

"but... even when i've known that falling in love again was wrong for me, i couldn't help it. something about you has always drawn me in and... " she trails off, more tears falling as she shrugs, "i—i don't know. i just can't explain it."

he steps forward, needing to say something to her — anything.

"no, please. don't say anything yet, freddie," he stops short, his heart breaking into a million pieces when he notices the broken look in her eyes. "i know i've ruined everything, okay? i know that. but, i just can't stand the thought of you hating me without understanding why..."

she turns away from him after this, too scared of his reaction.

"love..." fred trails off, suddenly in front of her as he lifts her chin up.

[y/n] is startled when she notices the soft and gentle look in his eyes — not a single negative emotion on his face or in his eyes.

"w—what are you doing?" she asks, confused and extremely emotional.

"proving to you that you can have the happy ending and you deserve it." he murmurs, only confusing her more.

he wipes away the tears on her face as he tucks in a stray hair behind her ear. that lovesick look on his face doesn't disappear as he cups her face in his hands.

"i know it's scary, but we can take this one step at a time. i love you and i'm willing to wait for you." he states, startling her once more.

"w—what?" she stutters, eyes widening.

"it's true — i love you, too."

"you... you promise?" she asks nervously, her heart beating faster than ever.

she gulps when he nods. a small smile takes over her lips as she leans her forehead over his, closing her eyes and taking in the moment.

"okay. let's take it slow then."

[twstjam]

Book 7 Spoilers ahead!!!

hmmmmm Lilia x Reader where you're a member of the Silver Owls but you have no loyalty to them so you betray them by secretly playing spy for the fae in exchange for peace, quiet, and safety if you help them win. The fae don't really trust you, especially Lilia, but he knows opportunity when he sees one. They just have to be careful about how much they trust you.

Because of the nature of your agreement you end up meeting up and exchanging letters with the Phantom General of the Briar fae a lot to relay information. At first it's just that and your meetings are all really just pure business, but then Lilia complains about Princess Malenoa and everyone pushing jobs onto him. This spurs you on to complain about Henrik and how all he does is order people around and lounge around all day. The two of you end up bonding over your demanding and tiring jobs and gradually grow closer each letter.

Aside from exchanging information, the two of you begin to exchange stories and tales and knowledge. You begin to know each other on different facets that no one else knows and confide in each other your deepest thoughts, fears, and insecurities. The two of you have a lot in common and understand each other so well that it just makes it so easy and natural and comfortable to be open like this. No one else have ever made either of you feel safe enough to share your most deepest secrets (not even Malenoa and Revan in Lilia's case. They're his best friends but they're also his superiors. There's just some things he can't talk about with them.) so it's so nice to finally find someone that does.

The two of you fall slowly, but you fall hard.

Neither of you admit this to each other of course. A war is no time for something as silly and trivial as love and romance and you both know that neither of you have time for a relationship. So you both pine and yearn in silence, either from your fortresses miles away from each other, or several feet apart on the rare occasions you meet up in person—so close yet still so far.

In one of your letters you relay to Lilia your worry that someone might be catching on. Lilia's heart twists in fear and his mind races with paranoid thoughts and possibilities. He doesn't show any concern in his response aside from acknowledging your worry, but he does tell you to be careful. He reasons that it would be unfortunate for the fae if their most valuable informant were to be discovered. (he activated tsundere mode to cope)

He sends the letter and goes about his duties. Days pass. Weeks. He realises during some off-time that he hasn't heard from you in a while. More time passes. No sign of a response from you.

Lilia says to himself that it's fine. It's nothing. It's no big deal. You're probably just occupied, or finally realised how dangerous it was to keep associating with the enemy. It's fine. The fae forces have managed before without your assistance. It's fine it's fine it's fine

he's not fine

(Part 2)

[talltalesandbedtimestories]

“If You Don’t Look Good, We Don’t Look Good” - Dean x Reader

Rating Explicit

Dean x Reader

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Humor, Shameless Smut (I got carried away), Cameo Appearance by Soft!Dom Dean, Unprotected Sex

Word Count: 4200

You and Sam had decided on a code to use in the most grievous, world-shattering of situations.

Full Dean Meltdown

Neither one of you have had to use it – until you get a text from Sam. A case has gone all kinds of awful for Dean. You are not ready for the version of Dean you have to face in the aftermath.

Notes: This is total self-indulgence because I miss This Dean.

I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo and this part will fill my "Hair Pulling" square.

Image created in Canva (links for photos used - found on Google: Jensen Ackles, Liverpool Comic Con, 2023; Jensen Ackles Photo Shoot

66

You stare, mid-muffin chew, at Sam’s text.

“Fuck me.” A few stray crumbs and a rogue blueberry land on a page of lore you should probably be more careful with. But you can’t be bothered with MOL reference handling procedures at the moment.

This is Red Alert. Defcon 5. Designated Survivor Mode Activated.

You and Sam had decided on a code to use in the most grievous, world-shattering of situations.

Full Dean Meltdown

“Fuck.” There’s no point in continuing to curse to yourself. “Fuck.” But you can’t help it. Neither one of you has ever had to use it before. You’d come close a few times.

The book is forgotten, pushed to the side on the table surface. Your fingers glide over the phone’s keyboard.

Is he alright?!? What happened? Please, tell me this is a joke?

I wouldn’t joke about this. Sam’s words bubble up, line by line. Well, I made the mistake of joking right after it happened. It’s gotten progressively worse the entire drive back. He hasn’t said a single word since we got in the car. IDK what’s gonna happen.

“Fuck.”

Should I evacuate? How much time do I have?

Just pulled into the garage.

Shit, Sam! Do you not understand how a code word for disaster preparedness works? One needs enough time to actually prepare for the disaster!

You wait. More bubbles. Then nothing. Maybe Sam didn’t make it out alive. Maybe you should make a run for it through the war room and up the stairs. Save yourself.

I received some communication. He’s headed straight for the showers. Meet you in the lab.

“A what?”

“Musca.” Sam sighs. “Ever seen ‘The Fly’?”

“On cable years ago, filtered through my fingers.”

Sam continues. “They secrete this sticky goo to build a nest.” His mouth crinkles. “Dean landed in it.”

“The nest?” you ask.

“The goo. A puddle of the stuff. Monster fluids freak him out.”

You shiver in disgust at the thought. “Fuck creature feature fluids. 100% in agreement.”

“So, we tracked the musca to its hideout in an abandoned factory. We split up when we got inside…”

“Why do you always split up?” you ask, following it with a frustrated groan.

Sam purses his lips and then proceeds. “When I found him, he was basically glued to this massive conveyor belt holding the goo like it was a kiddie pool. I had to cut him out of most of his clothes to free him.”

The thought of a half-naked Dean has you shiver for other reasons. “Poor guy,” you add in an effort to express sympathy over your dirty thoughts.

Sam chuckles.

You straighten with worry Sam has figured out your crush on his brother. Ready to dispute any yearnings, you add a grumbly edge to your voice and the question. “What was funny about any of that?”

Sam fists long strands on the right side of his scalp high in the air. “Even his hair got stuck to the belt. I had to hack half of it off.” He fingers his bangs back into effortless waves. “Once we killed it, Dean mumbled, ‘Vidal Sassoon you ain’t, fucker.’”

You shrug, confused. “Well, I mean, I get the trauma from the nasty gnat excretions. But that doesn’t explain why you had to warn of a possible Dean disaster.”  

Sam’s gaze tears from yours to stare at the floor by his boots.

“Sam?”

He lifts a shoulder. “I might have said something like, ‘We can’t all be masterful hunters with glorious locks.’”

You frown. “Sam…”

Sam raises a hand in defense. “Hey, maybe now he’ll finally shut up about my hair being a liability. I mean, hello, I’ve still got mine.”

The temptation to knock on Dean’s bedroom door is great. But you refrain, hiding away in yours instead. He’ll be better in the morning, you decide. Especially if you fry up some bacon.

A light rap of knuckles against mahogany distracts you from the latest show binge on your laptop. You pause the action. “Yeah?”

“Got a minute?” Even with the question, Dean’s tone sounds like a command.

You gulp. “Sure.” Rotating in the seat, your hand grips the top of the backrest. You’ll try to hold the line against the Dean Winchester Offensive.

The door swings slowly on its hinges. Dean slinks into your space. It’s the opposite of his usual bluster and humorous bellows that lead to inevitable laughter on your end. His slippers shuffle along the tile. He’s wearing roomy sweats and a dark t-shirt that hugs his torso. A folded towel is wedged into the crook of his arm. 

Your brain locks onto two things that appear off about Dean. The first thing totally out of place on the masterpiece before you is the baseball cap.

In the next second, you remember why he’s wearing it. It’s not because he’s undercover as a delivery driver or Fish and Wildlife Game Warden.

Dean does not want you to see his hair in its current state.

The second thing makes your pulse quicken. His beard is… gone. You can’t remember the last time you saw him even close to clean-shaven. You forgot what that sharp jawline used to do to your insides.

“Hey.” You don your best don’t-let-on-to-anything smile.

Dean scrutinizes you as if you are a witness in his rapid-fire way and then huffs. “Son of a bitch told you, didn’t he?”

You decide not to remind Dean he and Sam share the same mother. “He did. I’m sorry. You okay?”

The door clicks shut. “I’ll live. Sam might not see the light of day, though.”

You ignore the murder threat, instead focusing on a new scent in the air. You sniff, nostrils flaring with the deep inhale. Dean smells like he’s working on an amazing beach tan.

He nods at your reaction. “Coconut Oil. I had to use all that was in the kitchen for…” He circles his lower body with a finger and eventually points to the baseball cap.

“Did it do the trick?”

“Better than I hoped. I even got all that nasty shit out of my hair.” His weight shifts from one foot to the other. “But I need a favor.”

“At your disposal.” Still seated, you somersault your hand as if addressing royalty.

That at least cracks a tiny smile into his serious veneer. “I had to take a razor to my hair and cut it pretty short. Can you clean me up in the back?”

You clutch your chest and gasp in the most dramatic fashion you can muster. “You trust me to touch your hair?” 

“I trust you with my life, wiseass.” Dean smirks. “Can the sass and help a guy out, would ya?”

A warmth blossoms in your heart at Dean’s words. The heat spreads to your skin. You wave a hand at the towel and clear your throat. “Those the accouterments?”

Dean quirks a brow and grins. “Croutons?”

“And you call me the wiseass.” You sigh.

He shrugs with a nod in agreement. He drops the towel on the desk and lifts one of the corners to reveal the electric razor inside.

“Okay. Here’s as good a place as any, I suppose.” You rise from your seat, close the laptop, and move it to your dresser.

“You sure? We can go to the bathroom.” He thumbs at the door.

You wave a hand at the chair you vacated, now standing behind it. “Here’s good.”

Dean sits. The wooden chair creaks.

“Towel.”

Dean grabs the razor before passing the towel. You flap the fabric, channel your inner toreador, and let it billow over Dean’s frame like a sail. When it settles, you wrap and tuck it into the back of the collar.

Moments like this are pure indulgence. Getting within close proximity of Dean years ago left your brain unable to process the simplest tasks. Breathing. Blinking. Talking. Eventually, you got a handle on your senses. Now, you could treat yourself to the experience of him on occasion in a myriad of ways. No one had to be the wiser that the mundane helped create many fantasies.

“Razor.”

Dean chuckles, presenting you with the razor over his shoulder. “It’s not surgery.”

“Hey, appreciate the seriousness with which I’m embracing this endeavor.” You step to his left. “Dean?”

He lifts his head to peer up from under the brim of his cap. “Yeah?” His blinks emphasize the question.

All that does is force you to focus on his pretty lashes and the eye color he’s daring you to try and describe in your head. The cheekbones and the manicured five o’clock shadow aren’t helping matters either. You swallow and remember what’s supposed to happen next. “Can’t do much with that hat on your head.”

“Oh. Right.” He sighs. “Just, no laughing, alright?”

You place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze softly in confirmation. “No laughing. Promise.”

Dean exhales. You suck in your lips and hold your breath. He closes his eyes and peels the cap off.

You stare dumbfounded.

“Say whatever you gotta say,” Dean mumbles with scrunched features and shut lids.

Your vision clouds. Heart races. “It’s…”

“Awful,” he interrupts.

“Perfect,” you whisper.

Eyes open at the word. His gaze shoots up to meet yours. “Huh?”

Gone are the 90s dreamboat bangs he’s been growing out and tending to since 2020. In their place are a couple of directionless inches that need gel after the scrubbing, clipping, and hat matting. The Musca goo must have done most of its damage around the sides and back. In those areas, he’s shaved it short and close, done his best to fashion a fade that you imagine was muscle memory for him even after all these years. You eye the spot at the base of his skull that needs to be cleaned and tapered.  

You’re blinking, fighting back tears, utterly speechless.

Dean stares, total confusion lining his face. “Are you crying? Why the hell are you crying?” He taps the top of his head. “Shit… is it that fucking of a fiasco?”

“No.” You cover your mouth at the possibility a nervous laugh might spill out, which will only irritate him further. Moments pass as you struggle to steady your breath.

“Well, what the hell is it then?”

Dropping the hand covering your mouth, you beam down at him. “It’s you.” You could care less about what you were supposed to do with the razor in your hand. Instead, you perch your ass against the desk so you can lean back and take him in.

Dean’s eyes widen. You’ve seen that look of concern many times. “Yeeaaah. It’s me. Who else would it be? Do I need to get Sam?”

Your head shakes in amazement at the vision. “I haven’t seen this Dean since… damn, since before the pandemic. Since you and Sam made that bet, remember?”

“Gonna have to be a little more specific. Sam and I make lots of bets.”

“The one about you being unable to resist the temptation to take a razor to your hair during lockdown. I don’t even remember what the stakes were.”

Dean contemplates. “Hm. I haven’t got a clue. That was like, what, four years ago.” His lids shade the dark green of his irises. “This Dean?”

You nod. Your breath hitches at the swell of emotions rising. “The guy I first met.”

Dean shifts in the chair and leans forward. Every furrow and crinkle on his face melts away. His eyes appear to double in size as he waits for you to continue.

“My hero.” The whisper is a physical manifestation of how vulnerable and exposed you feel at Dean’s silent interrogation method. You press on. “The one that risked his life to save me… forever ago.”

He lifts one side of his mouth in a lopsided grin. “Sam was there, too, you know.”

You laugh. Cheeks warm at the adorably smug reaction. “Yes, you’re right. He was.”

Dean shakes his head. “Sam’s had the exact same haircut for years. I don’t see you crying every time you lay eyes on him. He’s a walking reminder of the guy you first met.”

“But he’s not you.” In your haste to provide an explanation, you realize you’ve said too much.

Dean’s mouth opens a fraction. His brows downturn. He’s working it out in his head in real-time.

You’re terrified.

A new smile forms. You think you spot a blush on his cheeks. “What else do you remember about this Dean?”

You shrug and tear your gaze from his. You don’t want your words to betray you again.

“Hm.” Dean rambles off a laundry list. “A lot of brooding back then, wasn’t there? I was a really good brooder. Hard to figure out? Distant, too, right? Definitely knew what was best for everybody. Stubborn jackass.”

You remain silent.

“Okay, still a stubborn jackass.”

You giggle. He joins in with a chuckle. Your anxiety eases and you find courage to look at him again.

“We’ve all changed in different ways, I guess. You, for example.” Dean gestures in your direction.

You stiffen. This could go many ways. You aren’t ready for any of them.

“You don’t take any of my shit, for one.” He raises a finger. “You're confident. You speak your mind. You have a life outside of these bunker walls.” Four fingers are on display for a while. He smiles and elongates his thumb. “But you still make this your home.”

“Every second of the life I’m able to live is because of you guys. I owe you everything. I’m lucky you let me make this my home.” You reason.

Dean’s smile drops. The open palm clenches into a fist and rests on his thigh. “You don’t owe us anything.”

“You and Sam did all that for me without batting an eye. You didn’t expect anything in return. You and Sam gave me so much more than I could ever repay. You gave me a second chance. You gave me a home.” You shrug and smile. “You became my home.”

He studies the floor and smirks, stating more to himself, “Not the only long-standing bet I’ve lost to Sam today.” Dean inhales and sits tall, focusing back on you. He nods, slow and calculated. “So, perfect, huh?” 

You roll your eyes. “Don’t get a big head.”

“A little late for that.” He grins and reclines back. “Would you go so far as to say this Dean” – he sweeps his hands in front of his figure in a dramatic gesture – “is irresistible?”

You exhale. “I don’t know if I’d say irresistible.”

He licks his lips. “Whew. Well, that’s good. I mean, otherwise, you’d have the same problem I have.”

You drop the razor on the desk and cross your hands over your chest. “What problem would that be?”

A heated gaze, beginning at your socked feet, rakes over you with his answer. “How much I find every fucking thing about you irresistible. You could shave your head and wear a potato sack, and I’d still have to keep my feelings in check.” You're practically on fire by the time his eyes lock with yours. “Every goddamn second of every day I’m around you.”

“This would be one of those times I don’t take any of your shit,” you scoff and squint back.

It’s his turn to clutch his hand to his chest. “You think I’m lying?”

“I think you’re having a little too much fun at the expense of my soul-baring.”

“Wanna bet?” 

Dean’s voiced that question countless times. Tonight, though, certainty laces his words.

He seems to take your silence as the only needed response. “Kiss me.”

“Wh-hat?”

“If you think you can resist, kiss me, and it’s a one-and-done.” His brows lift. “But if you can’t… Well, I might not leave this room anytime soon.”

“That doesn’t sound like a wager. More like a dare.” You straighten your stance. “Besides, you’re assuming…”

He grumbles out an interruption, “Sounds like somebody’s stalling.”

Your mouth snaps shut.

“Maybe we both take the armor off for a night. Take a chance on something that could be awesome.” Dean posits. His hands rub the cloth atop his thighs. “I can make it awesome.” The tone is low and promising. “If it helps, I’m this Dean tonight. We can worry about that Dean tomorrow.” He smiles, reaches a hand out to you, and nods in encouragement.

He’s struggling to play it cool, keep his emotions in check. You’ve seen this Dean before. He’s inhaling and exhaling fast through his nose. His jaw clenches and it cracks your resolve even further.

You drop your shield and let this Dean win you over. 

You melt, wrapping your fingers over his. This Dean’s touch electrifies every cell and awakens every dormant hope you had put to rest. He tugs you into his space. His lead forces the parting of your legs in order for his thigh to slot between. You hover. Your chin drops to your chest while his chin tips up high to hold your gaze. His body heat pulses off him like a vibrational energy. “Kiss me.” It’s the sweetest and softest request you’ve ever heard this Dean utter.

Your fingers trace along the freshly shaved hair over his right ear. It’s slippery and smooth in one direction, scritch-scratchy in the other. You can study every battle scar on this handsome canvas. No bangs of curtains or overgrown beard can hide them from you now. 

His lips part and release a deep sigh. Your fingers slip down his neck. Warm hands rest on the curve of your hips.

“I won’t be able to resist you,” you whisper.

“Good,” he hums. He’s guiding you with a firm grip to straddle his thigh. Then, there’s an encouraging push with a large palm and splayed fingers against the middle of your back. The sweet smell of coconut hits. Your gaze zones onto that bowed top lip. The way the plump bottom one parts from it to grant entrance.

Dean huffs an impatient groan you are all too familiar with. “You don’t kiss me in the next five seconds, I’m gonna kiss you.”

“Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?” you tease.

“More like a warning.” His voice is gruff and deep.

You hold back a moan at the sound, then dip down and do as you’re told.

Everything about the kiss is eager and rushed. Together you’re a tangle of limbs and fever pitch need. You’re pressed tight and right to his body - all muscle-tense and trigger-ready. His lips respond in kind to your every brush, swipe, and nudge for more and more.

“Gonna take such good care of you,” he murmurs through the kiss.

You gasp in satisfaction at the intention. 

His lips skim to your jaw, under your ear, then down your neck. “I gotta know that’s what you want.”

“Yes, Dean.”

Another hum thrums against your skin. You shiver as fingers creep under the hem of your t-shirt. His nose nuzzles along the frayed v-neck collar. He cups your breasts under the fabric. A thumb and finger twists one of your nipples even more erect. Teeth scraping and tongue lapping over the other fabric-covered nipple draw a strained moan out of your throat.

Soon the shirt is tugged hastily over your head for removal. Then you feel his mouth and hands all over your breasts again, unencumbered.

You’re a panting, heaving mess riding his thigh like you’re on an X-rated carousel. You arch your chest into his face. He’s slurping and sucking your nerve endings into the stratosphere. He pops a tit out of his mouth long enough to order, “Yeah, come for me so I can fuck that nice wet pussy.”

Dean staring at you, commanding you to come for him, is the tipping point you need to orgasm hard and fast.

“Yeah.” He grabs a fistful of your hair and clamps his mouth to yours. “Gonna feel so good around my cock.” He steals every gasp of air you expel with his inhales.

You’re tingling all over. He peels you off his thigh to sandwich his standing body to yours. He towers over you. He’s stiff and erect in his sweats, pressed into your lower tummy. His hands sweep up and down the channel of your spine.

“This Dean’s got a lot to make up for.” His tongue licks at your lips. “But I gotta be inside you right now.”

You nod. “You got five seconds to get me naked and on that bed.”

Never let it be said that Dean Winchester is not up for a challenge.

The chair behind him is now careening towards the bedroom door on all four legs. You scream-giggle as he lifts you into the air while he twirls, then tosses you onto the mattress, bouncing at the impact.

The sound of the chair crashing and toppling into a corner does nothing to distract you from watching Dean tunnel out of his t-shirt, kick off his slippers, and hopscotch out of his pants and boxers. His hard, thick cock springs to attention.

Fuck. You want every inch of that deep inside you.

He hooks his fingers onto the hem of your pants and manages to pull your socks off along with them. Kneeing onto the bed, he croons, “Been wanting you for so long, baby.”

Your head falls back into the cushion of the mattress, woozy from Dean’s actions and confession. “Probably been wanting you longer.”

Your panties are off and tossed over his shoulder next. “You don’t gotta wait anymore.” He grips under your knees and drags you to him. He slides over the wet heat of your folds and hisses, “Wanna fuck you without a condom.”

You whimper, “Just fuck me already.”

He smiles, grabs his cock – that must be fitted with a pussy homing device – and pistons into your entrance without any further mother fucking ado.

You gasp at the searing heat and sharp pain of him stretching you open. But he doesn’t stop fucking you. He’s minding how your facial features accept the brunt of each thrust and the agonizing slow release of his cock. Over and over. His descent is just as slow as he fucks. But eventually, your legs clamp around his waist and he wraps you in an embrace. Chests plastered together, moaning into each other’s mouths.

Your fingers inch into what remains of his bangs. You pull at the hair and Dean groans out, “Yeah.”

It’s lovely and languid for however long you both have the patience. The feel of him everywhere and inside is something you don’t ever want to end. But there’s a second orgasm building. The thought of Dean spilling into you has your walls clench in impatience around his cock.

“Fuck,” he grunts, face tucked along your neck. You lift your head up to enjoy the view of his undulating back and curvy ass clenching and raising as his fucking gains momentum. You pull at his hair again. “Fuuuck.”

He stills, turns to stone, and you feel his cock pulse and warmth spill inside. Moments later, a hand wedges between your bodies to thumb your clit and trigger your second orgasm.

You cry out his name.

“I got you, baby,” Dean whispers into your ear. And he does. Not letting go and practically swaddling you with his body. The sexiest weighted blanket on the planet.

You smile and stroke – instead of pulling – at his hair. “Who’s got me exactly? This Dean or That Dean?”

He sighs, sounding winded. “You get all the versions. Whether you like it or not.”

“I’d like that very much.”

He leans back to stare at you. “Yeah?” He’s red and flushed and the happiest you’ve ever seen him. “Even if I grow my hair out again?”

You nod. “Yeah. More for me to pull.”

Dean groans and flops to his back beside you, chuckling.

You listen to the rhythm of your collective breathing slow down and regulate. His fingers brush along the flesh of your thigh. “Dean?”

“Hm?”

“Earlier, you said something about losing two bets to Sam today. What was the other one?”

“Asshole told me you had a thing for me years ago. Let’s hold off on telling him he was right, or I’m doing his laundry for an entire year.”

“I don’t think we have to tell him anything, Dean. I’m pretty sure he heard everything.”

“Hm. You’re right.” He’s up on an elbow, staring down at you. “Maybe text him that code thing? That might get him out of the bunker for a while.”

You blink. “Code?”

“Don’t play coy now.” Dean shakes his head. “But what’s the ‘66’ mean?”

You bite your lip.

He waits.

“It was Sam’s idea.”

He waits.

“The 66 Seals.” 

Dean cringes.

You shrug. “Too soon?”

“And he says I have a twisted sense of humor.” Dean yawns. He finds the edge of the comforter you both are lying atop and tosses it over your naked bodies. “So, will you still clean me up in the back? Maybe wait until morning, though?”

“Absolutely.” You snuggle into his chest, secure that Dean will wake up next to you in the morning. “If you don’t look good, we don’t look good.”

It takes a beat before Dean responds with a teasing smack to the back of your head, followed by a kiss on your forehead. “Wiseass.”

[andastartosteerherby]

SVSSS Fic Rec

I'm updating it everyday, because time crunch.

(Mostly Bingqiu/Bingyuan, Unless Tagged)

*Different Endless Abyss

Guess I'll Die - Shen Qingqiu goes to the Endless Abyss.

Speak No Evil - SQQ gives up his voice to stop Endless Abyss. It happens anyway.

*Amnesia

Night of Yearning - Luo Binghe forgets Shen Qingqiu.

*Jinlan City Goes Differently/Different Reunion/Different Rebirth

High Mountains, How I long

Dew Over - Shen Qingqiu is reborn in the mushroom body and tries to live as Peerless Cucumber.

Honesty is Such a Lonely Word - Shen Qinqiu faces the trial, and Old Palace Master uses a truth-finding artefact.

*Time Loop/Time Travel

Just Like A Monkey (I've Been Dancing My Whole Life) - Instead of being reborn after self-destructing, Shen Qingqiu keeps coming back on the Stairs of the Brothel in Jinlan City.

Master of Dual Cultivation Series - Shen Yuan reboots his time in PIDW. He is traumatised and less happy-go-lucky. This one is multi, with Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan getting more focus uptill now (in the first two stories) but Luo Binghe is important too.

*Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan

Deluxe System 2.0: Co-op Mode!

Found Brother Shen brothers.

A-Yuan Has at Least Three Friends - Shen Qingqiu turns into a kid with both Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu's memory. They are the same person.

Replacement Head Disciple Shen Yuan - Set after the Abyss, before Binghe's return. Shen Brothers.

*Epic (These fics are longer and plot-heavy, and won a special place in my heart)

You Reap What You Sow - Luo Binghe is the transmigrator. I thought it would be so-so, but turned out to be one of the best ones I've ever read. Also has Shen brothers.

Xiangyang - When you are born as the daughter of your murderer, what do you do? A question for the ages. No active pairing, original LBH and his harem is present.

Uprooted - Shen Yuan transmigrates as a minor villain in PIDW. Except he's not.

To Stem the Coming Tide - Shen Qingqiu learns about Shang Qinghua a bit earlier, and they plot to avoid their fate. No Endless Abyss.

*IWYWMH & Its AUs

I Wish You Were My Husband - The epickest of epics. It produced a number of spin-offs of it's own. Maybe I should put them under separate sub-headings when I have time. Bingqiu main pair, but has past yuejiu and hints of one-sided liushen.

A Wish to Change Fate - A great fanfic to IWYWMH. Shen Yuan is actually Shen Jiu's reincarnation. This fic touched my heart in all the right ways, gave me things I didn't even know I craved. Someday I should write about it in details. Hings of Bingjiu/Bingyuan (since both are the same).

No Wish for the Wicked - Shen Yuan wasn't around to take the place of Shen Jiu. Sad.

*Bingge

to love another (and to learn yourself) - Bingge tries to get his own Shizun and brings a Shen Yuan. Even without his cultivation power, Shen Yuan is not a pushover. Binggeyuan.

How to Train Your Shen Qingqiu - Another piece I ignored for a long time, but turned out to be very good. I need to reread it.

*WIP

I usually avoid wips, but here are some of the best ones I read:

I Was Transmigrated as a Sword (Gen up till now)

Lotus Seeds - Shen Yuan runs away to save himself from the horrible fate of the Scum Villain - to the realm of the Lotus Eaters.

Scum Villain's Book of Prophecy - Shen jiu reads PIDW and learns the future. Original Luo Binghe/Original Shen Qingqiu. Almost finished, epic length.

[theblackfemininesociety]

Converting Your Suffering into Strength: Exiting Survival Mode and Entering into The Soft Life .

Remember, transitioning from survival mode to your strong nurturing feminine energy is a process that takes time and patience. Each step you take towards healing and self-empowerment is a step towards living a more fulfilling and balanced life. It's important to note that healing trauma and embracing your feminine, nurturing energy is a deeply personal and diverse process. Each individual's journey may look different, and it's important to honor and respect their unique experiences and perspectives.

Let’s start with the HOW:

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Experiences: Recognize the impact of generational trauma, personal trauma and fears on your life. Find safe ways to validate your experiences and emotions without judgement.

2. Seek Support and Healing: Engage in therapy or counseling, to address and heal past traumas. Find support groups or communities where you can connect with other women who have experienced similar challenges. Surrounding yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals is crucial for your growth and healing journey. Seek out mentors or even community leaders who embody the strong nurturing feminine energy you want to cultivate. 3. Embrace Self-Expression: It’s time to cut out the toxic patterns ladies! Find creative ways outlets to express your emotions. Create new hobbies to get your feelings out (journaling, painting, exercising, dancing etc.) This will help you connect with your inner voice and nurture your feminine energy.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Accountability is a part of this process but please give yourself grace. Be gentle and kind with yourself. If mistakes were made handle yourself the way you would handle a loved one. Practice self-care activities that nourish your mind, body and spirit. Create a self-care routine that can help you feel strong, safe and soft.

5. Cultivate A Positive Aura: (The LUXURY Mindset/Becoming HER) Develop a list of positive affirmations that counter the negative beliefs and fear that are keeping you bounded. Write your affirmations, favorite bible verses and loved ones on sticky notes and put them on your mirror. Remind yourself everyday. Download an affirmation / Bible verses app on your phone and turn on the notifications for daily motivation. Visualize yourself at your highest, honorable, healthiest and successful level. Surround yourself with HER support system, ideas, body and etiquette. Make a vision board both physical and virtual (we recommend using pinterest!) and post it everywhere you can see it (bedroom, locker, screensaver etc)

We have a free EGuide that explains our concept on how to adopt “The Luxury Mindset” HERE … Ladies it only takes 66 days to form a habit! Meditating on this concept and follow us on our socials for guidance, support and community 🫶🏽

6. Practice Balancing Self-Empowerment & Purpose: It's time for you to only engage in activities that will EMPOWER you, not just in education and achieving goals but all aspects of life, Balance is key and you will develop a yearning for resting in your feminine energy. What impressions do you want to leave on your loved ones hearts? What path do you want to carve out for your future bloodline? What’s the standard? What is your purpose? (God. Family. Love) Pour into those areas and let them give you purpose outside of all the accolades of being independent. Tap Into what you wanted/needed from your environment as a young girl.. what healthy things can you give / show to her now?

Now Let’s Address Why ?

The importance of black women healing their trauma and finding empowerment in their feminine energy :

Breaking The Cycle: Healing trauma, both personal and generational, is a key part of your journey to becoming the best versions of yourself you can be. (friend, love, mother, grandmother etc.) It's essential for breaking the cycle of pain and creating a healthier future for yourself and those around you.

Reclaiming Femininity: For many black women, societal pressures, lack of representation, and stereotypes can contribute to why we do not fully embrace our femininity. By healing trauma we can explore and reclaim our unique expression of femininity such as compassion, nurturing, healthy communication, and strength.

Empowerment and Resilience: Healing trauma is empowering as it allows black women to regain control over their lives and emotions. By acknowledging and processing their experiences, individuals can develop resilience that enables them to navigate challenges more effectively and with a greater sense of self-assurance.

Building Healthy Relationships, Families & Communities: Healing trauma can positively impact interpersonal relationships. By understanding and healing past wounds, black women can develop healthier patterns of communication, establish boundaries, and foster deeper connections. Nurturing energy can contribute to creating a safe and supportive environment for both self and others in our homes and our communities.

For Support and Community Join & Follow Us! 💗 Instagram | Facebook | FB GROUP | BFS Group Chat

[ckret2]

I feel like starting Ford & Bill out on "oh but Ford secretly still likes Bill deep underneath, he just needs to feel safe expressing it" is cheating. That's easy mode. Where's the challenge in a reconciliation if the wronged party is already secretly yearning for an opportunity to reconcile.

The focus of the trajectory of Ford & Bill's relationship isn't "Ford needs to forgive Bill." It's "Bill needs to fucking grovel." He could literally lay his life on the line for Ford and that wouldn't be enough, because giving Ford a reason to feel like maybe Bill isn't an active threat anymore is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT from giving Ford a reason to want to stop hating Bill.

There's NO hidden affection. It's BILL'S job to change that. Giving Ford hidden tender feelings would just undermine the significance of the quest! I chose to start on hard mode on purpose! I built this mountain as high as I could before telling Bill to get climbing!

I'm sending this fucker up Mt. Everest clad only in the emotional intelligence equivalent of a dainty negligee, and somehow he WILL find a way to the peak without freezing to death on Ford's cold shoulder.

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

was rereading some of your Ao3 work and had a thought, if Nobby, or any preserved engine for that matter went the way of "passing on" i.e the face fading away as mentioned in "Departure", do you reckon they'd be kept around, or would they be scrapped? I'm not majorly active on Tumblr so apologises if this has been answered somewhere that I've missed, but I was curious.

That's an interesting question (though repeats are fine, dw)! My fics are never necessarily in the same universe unless noted, and for the Nobbyverse in particular I really did remake my mental image of the TTTE world from the ground up - I've never considered 'departure' in the context of that series (excepting only that I supposed poor 115's spirit would have passed on after being buried and abandoned) - so for me this is a new angle to examine.

And I'm cackling a little up my sleeve, because this actually sounds like a great plot set-up… if you own a preserved engine and its spirit has 'passes on,' you've probably fucked up, and very publicly too.

A preserved engine whose animation faded away would lose a great deal of its appeal for the public. I generally suppose that engine sapience has become rarer and rarer over the years of mass-production and cheap-ass maintenance, so in-universe part of the glamour associated with 'the old days' is that people yearn for the times when trains were alive. You go to a transport museum in part to show your kids what a talking vehicle is like because most kids don't meet them anywhere else.

Furthermore, although the general public could certainly get used to visiting 'dead' engines, just like seeing dinosaur skeletons... they aren't used to it because unalive preserved engines are almost unheard-of. Engine spirits 'depart', not out of any old unhappiness but specifically because they believe that they are no longer needed in this world. An engine who knows that they are being preserved for posterity is wildly unlikely to believe that.

But I'm sure it happens, especially for the sort of engines sitting in storage for years on end, waiting for some sort of overhaul or opportunity. However even in those cases it really doesn't take that much care to avoid a 'departure' - machines are like camels when it comes to attention! They are hugely inclined to err on the side of believing they matter to humans. So long as someone visits them regularly with assurance and keeps 'em clean and dry, they are capable of waiting in readiness for quite a long time.

So the norm is that engines are preserved alive and stay alive. Any 'departure' is so abnormal that rail enthusiasts would be pissed. Questions Will Be Asked. Either some heads or gonna roll, or the owning institution's name is going to be mud among railfans.

Thus, if I'm in charge of the York Railway Museum and my staff reports one morning that Coppernob's soul seems to have 'passed on' in the night, I'm gonna be in panic mode.

Which, even as I type this and you read it, we both know means that Nobby has definitely faked them out at some point or another.

If an engine has really 'departed,' however, I expect they're immediately tarp'd ("she's, errm - she's having a nap! 🙃 ") and moved into storage a.s.a.p., where either attempts are made to coax their spirit back, or else the owners hope that the public eventually forgets about them. There are still people who would be interested even in the lifeless body, but too bad for them, they will have a hell of a time ever seeing it now because things will usually be so lock-and-key.

And that brings us to Boxhill, maybe… (? 🤔)

[mushroomkwan]

to lie under [m]

sequel to rite of sin

SYN: You've become adjusted to the life of a concubus, fucking and eating the essence of the living until you've had your fill. Life proceeds as such, until you find yourself summoned, like Donghyuck had been, to the service of a human.

TAGS/WARNINGS: I did way more research and story building here so it has some facts that were different in rite of sin, demonic activity, demonic imagery, biting and bleeding, incubi, succubi, concubi, m/m/f threesome, anal fingering and ass eating (m receiving), oral (f and m receiving), squirting, unprotected sex (f receiving and m receiving), anal penetration and sex (m receiving), hickeys, polyamory, markxdonghyuck (I don't ship them together, THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION)

word count: 4.4k

A loud wail escapes into the room around you, and you'd have half a mind to slap your hands over your ears and drown it out, if it wasn't feeding you with such a delicious feeling. This woman keens under you, this poor human who found herself victim to your charms, and she cums like a tornado siren, sudden and almost alarming. You take in her essence, every drop she spills, and lick your fingers clean, standing from the bed and stretching your wings behind you.

"Wait, don't go! We....we could keep going." She pleas when she sees your wings spreading, and you feel pity towards her. She's weakened, clutching her chest and taking heavy breaths and yet she still yearns for the pleasure you'd just given her.

Poor baby.

"Shhh, rest now. I've gotten all I need from you. Now, forget this." You use your honed ability of manipulation to wipe her memory of the event, feeling indifferent when you watch her eyes close and her body fall back limply. You look back at the wings she so adored, and smirk to yourself. When you'd first woken in hell as a Concubus, a versatile sex demon, they were the first thing you noticed before the colour of your skin, the tail, eyes and fangs, all of it. You'd grown wings, bat-like that stretched behind you, it was amazing. Now they were just your mode of transport, and your sexiest physical trait.

"I would argue your sexiest trait is your eyes, but that would be too romantic."

Turning around, you see your husband, leaning against the bedpost in such a way your desire is lit up once again, curling your tail around his thigh as you come closer to him.

"Too romantic? For me? Donghyuck, you know I live for romance. I died for it." You give him a hungry kiss, dragging your tongue and fangs against the skin of his jaw and neck, and he pulls at the back of your hair, eliciting a whine from you.

"Ah ah ah, you've already fucked this woman silly, I'm not going to be your sloppy seconds. At least…I'm not going to be here." He teases you and you feel your skin heat under his gaze. It always went like this, and you loved it. You fucked and from the humans, but with Donghyuck you made love. You made love so passionate you'd think you'd travelled to heaven every time. He was your eternal flame, your bond transcended time. It took almost a decade of earning your wings to get to this point, but you wouldn't trade it for the world.

"A human has summons for you, Concubus Y/D/N. And for you as well, Incubus Azonach." Hearing Lubell the Imp's voice you turn to see him flapping his pathetic little wings while looking at a clipboard with his telltale bored expression. Donghyuck cringes at the use of his demonic name.

"For the both of us? How?" You ask and Donghyuck slides over to your side, looking at Lubell with indifference.

"Does it matter, my love? Someone wishes for us both. What do you say to an extra meal?" He asks and Lubell rolls his eyes when Donghyuck nibbles at your ears with his fangs as you mull it over. A summons is a summons, you must respond if it was done correctly. However, how did they summon you both? Your candle formation was mostly new, and similar to Dongyuck's, could they have meant just him? It didn't matter, you had to answer the call.

"Let's go, my sun and moon."

The room is boring, yet surprisingly homey. As you phase through the ring of flames, moulded into Donghyuck's side with a leg wrapped around him, you look at the room before the poor soul who'd summoned you. The bed was a California king, so large and open. The windows were shut tight, with something sealing it, lest the wind ruin the candles and the entire summoning process. And finally, the owner of the room is kneeling before you, looking up at the two of you with such awe his eyes tear up, and his heart races. He's beautiful, and he's perfect.

"Look, love, he did summon us both. How sweet of him." As you and Donghyuck set down onto the hardwood floor softly, you notice that in fact, he'd somehow combined your candle formations together with an extra candle.

"I didn't mean to. I only meant to summon Sastronar." The man whimpers, and you bark out a laugh at his admission, wiping tears from your eyes.

"Sastronar? Oh, she'd get a kick out of this. Is the page ripped, sugar, how did you manage this?" As you ask, you curl your body around his shoulder and look down at the summoning book he'd used. It's crudely made, the leather slipping off its spine and the pages smelling moldy, but the words are clear. It is yours and Donghyuck's formations, only it's labelled Sastronar, and not your own namesake. The man closes the book and backs away from your touch, like you'd burned him with the simple graze of your chin. Donghyuck notices immediately.

"Well, you've summoned us both, so you get two for the price of one. What is your name, baby?" Donghyuck leans down and helps the man to his feet, and the man swallows down some fear, and tries to even his breathing, to answer.

"Mark. Mark Lee." He finishes and you rub at his shoulders, softly and gently as you use your concubus abilities to alleviate some of his fear. You can't take it all away, you'd be taking him away from himself, but you can help him.

"Mark...Mark. I like that. It's straight to the point. Well, you may call me Y/N, and you can call my husband Donghyuck. Do not be so afraid, we are here to please you. It is why you summoned Sastronar, is it not?" You ask, slowly inching your hands from his shoulders to his waist, and he doesn't fight it off. You notice it quickly, how his skin itches for your hands to hold his hips, and you inhale the amount of want coming from him. Donghyuck licks his lips at the taste.

"Yes…I know that Incubi is derived from the Latin word inccubare…."to lie on". I wanted..." He trails off with a dusting of crimson against his cheeks, looking at you for help. He's almost ashamed to say it aloud.

"Oh, sweet baby, you can say it. There is nothing wrong with submitting yourself as a man. Do you want to submit yourself to us?" You already know that answer, and so does Donghyuck, and because you know this, you also know that Mark is aroused by being cared for. Of being reassured that he's in control, despite the obvious fact that he isn't.

"Yes I want that. I've never done it before, but everytime I watch porn, I find myself watching pegging videos and gay porn. Does that make me weird, or gay?" He asks in sudden confession and Donghyuck takes the lead in answering this.

"Well, what do you think it means? Are you attracted to her? Do you want to fuck her?" He asks and Mark looks you over. Your body has grown some curve since you'd formed as a Concubus, but you'd mostly retained your human body. Carapace armor clings to your shoulders and your tits in a way that frames them, and lets the light catch them. Your succubus mark is proudly displayed on your naval, where you wear nothing underneath. Yes, he's attracted to you. Very much so. And yes, he would like to fuck you.

"Yes, you are. And now, are you attracted to me? Do you want to fuck me?" Donghyuck continues, standing up and showing himself off to the human. He's shirtless, as are most Incubi, with a low hanging armor plate and sharp carapace pieces on his shoulders, just like you. His body is lean, with fit abs and strong legs, and a proud cock on display. Mark swallows, and you can feel his own cock harden as he does, looking Donghyuck up and down. He wants to fuck you both, but he wants to fuck Donghyuck most of all.

"Well, there's the answer to that question. Have you considered that you're bicurious? Perhaps my wife and I could settle that curiosity." Donghyuck sits Mark onto the bed with ease, and you slide onto his other side, placing your hands on his hip and the other on his shoulder. He blushes deeply, and nods, removing his shirt. Donghyuck makes the first move, pressing a light kiss to Mark's cheek, and then another, another, and another as it slowly trails to his neck, his shoulders. Small whines pant from his mouth as he leans back to give Donghyuck access.

"So beautiful." You praise him as you take the other side of his neck, soft and gentle, but it rages into something more as the time passes, and Donghyuck still travels down Mark's body, leaving red skin and bruised hickeys in his wake.

"How far do you want to go, sugar?" You pull back from him and he thinks, looking at Donghyuck, who has made his way to kneeling in front of Mark.

"All the way. You only live once, right?" Mark speaks after a moment of sensual silence, and you give Donghyuck a knowing look.

"Sure. Now, I've seen it in your eyes. The way you look at him. Donghyuck lay back, I think our pet wants to suck you off. You've practised, haven't you? You look at him with a strange confidence." You look at Marks eyes, now staring at Donghyuck's armour piece with a glint in his eye and Donghyuck smirks, laying back and gesturing to himself. Mark couldn't have gone to him faster, the lust over fueling his shyness. Well, mostly.

"Do I just…suck you off or what?" He asks and Donghyuck takes the lead, guiding Mark's head to his own, kissing the man's neck again while you watch, retracting your claws and rubbing slowly at your clit. Mark goes farther and farther down, finally reaching Donghyuck's cock and licking a stripe against it. The incubus sings his praise as Mark gets on all fours to fully put his body into sucking Donghyuck's cock. The room is full of wanton noises of Mark humming and slurping against your husband's dick, who in turn is groaning and biting his lip.

"Yes, you're so good at this baby. Doing so well. Donghyuck, I think I should prepare him for you." You fly to the space behind him, sliding his pants down to his knees, and then off his legs completely. And the sight you see is such a welcome one.

"He prepared for us love. Shaved, and cleaned. You're such a good boy." You press a kiss to his ass, and slide your forked tongue against the rim of his entrance, your hand clutching the fat of his ass cheeks. He whimpers and moans onto Donghyuck's dick, and you revel in the taste of his pleasure. He'd probably prepped himself, and you can't help but moan at the image of him laying on his bed, ass up stretching himself out for you. In his stress, he'd tensed, but you'd relaxed him. And now you stretch his hole with your tongue, and your hand pumps his cock agonisingly slowly.

"Fuck, mhmm." He groans in pleasure, backing into your face for more and sucking Donghyuck down so hungrily, like a lifeline. The incubus has a hand gripped into Mark's fluffy hair, clutching at it and guiding Mark into a rhythm that has his hip stuttering in their movements.

"I want…I want Donghyuck to fuck me. And I want to eat your pussy." Mark backs away to look back at you with a flushed face and half-lidded eyes. You massage your tits as Donghyuck speaks to him.

"You know just what you want. Come on darling, your turn. I'll go at your pace, Mark." Donghyuck speaks and you slide into the space under Mark, his arms surrounding your body. Seeing him look at you, while Donghyuck stands behind him, makes your insides burn.

"Thank you." Mark suddenly confesses praise, and you can't stop him as he gives you a small, soft peck. Your arms holding him at a large distance immediately, eyes blown wide. He looks at you with hurt, and Donghyuck looks at you in concern.

"He's kissed me….oh darling, he kissed me." You feel everything at once. Heartbreak, hope, confusion, lust, it all mixes in your head and you find yourself tearing up. Donghyuck pulls way from him and sits him down, and you feel the scene has become too familiar, holding your wings around your body.

"What?! What? What's happening? You're scaring me." Mark whines, crying out in shock as the mark of Asmodeus glows, etches itself into the skin above his cock and you look at Donghyuck from between your wings as he takes the initiative, calming Mark down, who stares a the mark in fearful awe.

"When you fuck sex demons such as ourselves, it's just sex. However, kissing our lips is seen as loving, romantic, as commitment, before God. You have damned yourself to a different eternity in hell. You'd become one of us when you die." You see it in Mark's eyes then, something so fearful he goes quiet with widened eyes. He would not react the same as you did all those years ago.

"What…? I-I just wanted to kiss you I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He's not crying, at least not yet, but he is running at the mouth, panting and biting his lip in worry. However, you and Donghyuck can taste in the air, in his words.

He's still turned on by it. He's afraid, shit, he's terrified, but he's turned on by it.

"Sweetheart, what scares you about it? You aren't going to die now, if that is what you think." You speak, wrapping a wing around his shoulder to comfort him.

"I don't want to fuck everyone. I barely got the courage to summon you, most of all to fuck you. I…I don't want to become a whore." Mark speaks after a moment and Donghyuck looks at you with a look. You question it, wondering where this might lead.

"You will not be a whore. When you become one of us, the instincts will come to you like a fly to honey. It's how to live as one of us. And don't worry, you will have Y/N and I. We'll be with you." Donghyuck rests his hand on Mark's thigh, and you rest your head on his shoulder. He takes several moments to think, and you prepare yourself to go back to Hell on a hungry stomach. You have enough to last, but it wouldn't be a meal.

"I think I've made my peace with it…I wasn't exactly going to Heaven anyways, y'know? And if I were to go to hell, I'd be tortured for all eternity. I don't think sex is torture, so it's better to have sex forever then to be in agony." He was surprisingly educated about how one dies, despite humans not truly knowing. You're proud of him for making peace with it. You went out a bit different than he did. He wouldn't spend his time in jail, rotting away until finally someone took him out. He was a peaceful sinner. The kind with his humanity intact.

"That's good. Do you still want us to have sex with you?" You ask, even though you know the answer.

"Yes, please? Can I still kiss you now? Would that be rude to you? I also want to kiss you." He asks you, before turning to Donghyuck too. Your husband licks his lips.

"You can kiss us all you want." Mark latches himself onto him when he gets the go ahead, kissing him feverishly. Their mouths clash together while you slide your hands around his hips, sliding upwards and down, admiring his body.

"Mm I still want to eat you out Y/N." Mark breaks away from Donghyuck with his lips swollen and you nod, bringing him to you in a flush kiss, tasting his tongue for yourself. He brings his mouth to your tits, sucking and bubbling onto the hardened nipples of your left breast, his other hand kneading the flesh of your hip.

"You're so pretty." He pants the words breathlessly and you burn, looking away and into Donghyuck's eyes as Mark mouths and teeth against your chest, across your ribs, lower.

"I'm going to fuck you now, baby, you ready for me?" Donghyuck asks, groping at Mark's hips and he breaks away from your navel to nod rapidly, arching his back and returning to your pussy with a starved tenacity. His tongue flicks and sucks at your folds, and you move against his ministrations. Donghyuck spits a generous amount of lubricant into his hand and into the space between Mark's ass. As the human eats your pussy, Donghyuck lines himself with his entrance and rests the tip of his cock against it.

"Are you ready for me? I need words this time, Mark." Donghyuck speaks again and Mark whimpers, upset to stop but happy to start.

"Yes, please fuck me. Use me. Both of you, use me." Mark groans and licks against your folds once again, making his way to your clit and sucking tenaciously. You grab ahold of his hair and grind against his face, biting your lip. You know when Donghyuck has entered him, because a low grain escapes him, and Mark moans loudly against your pussy, the reverberations feeling delicious. His entire body moves, slowly, back and forth as Donghyuck creates a pace, adjusting for the both of them and groaning in pleasure.

"Nngh, fuck!" Mark moans, shrill and breathy, biting his lip and panting as Donghyuck increases the pace. To see him like this is a blessing, watching his fucked out expression looking at yours, his lips swollen and his chin glossy with your juices. And his eyebrows twist with pleasure as he cries out, grabbing hold of your hips and continuing to eat your pussy again. He moans and groans, sucks and licks, moving his head up and down, he does it all and you feel an orgasm approaching like wildfire, coming towards you, fast and intense. You grip his hair, and clench, before letting go of it all.

"Oh Asmodeus!" You praise your patron and cum against Mark's tongue, feeling cum spray against his face and soak the fabric underneath your bodies. Recovering from your orgasm, you slide yourself under him, bringing him into a kiss as his body moves forward with every thrust. You taste yourself on his tongue, and feel yourself smear onto your own face. He's whimpering and whining into your mouth and you bring his ear to your lips, whispering.

"Fuck me while he fucks you. I know you can do it." You extend your legs to wrap around him, looking at Donghyuck from Mark's shoulder, and he nods, changing your angles slightly. Mark lines himself with you, and kisses you again, and with the first thrust, he fucks into you.

"Mmnf!" It's your turn to moan into his mouth as Donghyuck essentially fucks you both, every sharp thrust of his hips drives Mark's into yours, and you clung onto him as you close your eyes, arching back almost far enough for your horns to hit the bed above you.

"So good for us. So good for me." Donghyuck growls, fangs bared, and he does something so sexy you moan at the mere sight of it. He bites Mark, on his shoulder, and the human screams in ecstasy, as blood drips down his skin and drops hit your body. You feel your second orgasm sneak its way through, building, and when Mark cries out and cums into your pussy, you let it crash against you, the two of you groaning and writhing in orgasmic bliss.

"Did that feel good, pet? Cumming inside me?" You ask and Mark nods, resting on your chest and panting as Donghyuck continues. Whereas your stamina was long, and you could cum many times, Donghyuck's stamina was longer, but he can only cum once. Twice on occasion.

"I love you." You let Mark say it in his lust-filled state, but give a glance to Donghyuck. He doesn't look upset at the notion. Not at all.

"I'm gonna cum inside you. Fill you up, nice and pretty." Donghyuck falters in his thrusts and falls rigid, relaxing and groaning as Mark jumps, moaning and whining as the incubi pumps cum into him. And once it's done Donghyuck pulls out, slowly and gently, before falling beside you. Mark finds his place, cradled between the two of you, and you move the hair that sticks to his face. There's no point in cleaning yourselves up. Once you go back to hell, any trace of you will be gone, except for the memories in his mind and the brand on his underbelly.

"What do you do for fun? What makes you happy?" You start the conversation first, as your arm drapes over his side and your hand holds your husband's. He goes red as he thinks about it.

"I'm in an idol group. It's me and twenty one others. We're called NCT. I rap." He laughs awkwardly and you smile. Donghyuck presses a kiss to Mark's forehead, bringing his arm to rest under the other's head.

"That does sound fun. How can you make music with twenty other people, though? That sounds difficult. And rap? Our baby does rap? I'd love to hear this." You look at him in alarm. What was he doing? However, hearing the pet name for Mark doesn't upset you. It delights you.

"Oh, really? Well, I could play you my song Golden Hour. I made it without the others." He excitedly stands and grabs his phone, nestling into the space between you like a puzzle piece. The piece he plays is funky, fresh, it's artistic and it makes your ears happy. You tap against his hip with the rhythm and your tail flicks to the beat. Donghyuck bops his head and looks at Mark teasingly as the lyrics boast of his prowess.

"That's amazing. And absolutely a diss track to Gordon Ramsay, what's your beef with him?" You ask and Mark laughs, opening a tweet after a couple searches to show Gordon Ramsay commenting on his eggs.

"You did fuck them up pretty badly. What happened?" Donghyuck laughs and Mark scowls, swatting a hand at his thigh. You could feel the pull back to hell in the base of your wings, and the tip of your horns. You wanted to stay with Mark a little longer though, so youinched closer and rested against him.

"It was years ago, and I have mastered eggs. Hence the song? What do you guys do for fun?" Mark asks and you laugh, looking him in the eye.

"Oh, duh, but surely outside of sex, something matters to you?" He asks, and you bite your lip, thinking about it.

"I sing, and she reads and writes. There are several levels of hell, just where the demons reside. One level has this stage I perform on when I'm not feeding, and a library I almost lose her in. Listen, we do not have much time, but we will be there that day, okay? Whenever it happens, we'll be there." Donghyuck's legs are the first thing to start fading away, and you see your arm start to go too. Mark nods, smiling tearfully.

"Yeah, okay. Thank you again...for everything. I can't wait to see you again." Mark presses a final kiss upon each of your lips, and you both hold him, closing your eyes. When they open, you're greeted by Donghyuck in the fourth plane of hell, Asmodeus's plane, and a sad look crosses both your faces.

"Is it strange I…I miss him. Like, one fuck session with a stranger and I miss him?" You look at him with a yearning glance and Donghyuck nods solemnly.

"It is what happens when you damn a human. Once they've kissed you, you know they're dying for you. You can't help but feel you'd die for them too. I felt it with you." He speaks and you sit beside him. You think about Mark, who lays in his bed with a small smile on his face. His time of death is ten years from now. He'll be on stage with his members, singing and dancing to their newest single. And a sign above is going to fall on him, mangle his face, blood and gore will traumatize his members, and kill him. It's not a way that he deserves, but one he's going to go through anyways. His death will be instant though, and that's all you can hope for.

It's 2033, and you feel it in your heart first, that it's Mark's death day. You hold Donghyuck's hand and look at the gates, feeling a sense of anxiousness in you. Would Mark remember? And would he come through okay?

"Calm down, love, you came in fine and so will he." Donghyuck chides and you nod, looking back at the gate. Demons stream in succession, each getting taken by imps for review, but you'd already told them you'd handle getting Mark situated. You see him then, his fluffy mop of hair as he steps through being the first thing you see. He's a succubus, to lie under, with crimson red skin and smaller wings to match, and he looks for you in earnest. When he sees you, he runs, flying into both your arms and holding you so tightly his new claws dig into your skin.

"You waited." He sighs in relief and you scoff, gripping him tighter to your body and wrapping your tail with his. He marvels at his new body as you speak.

"Of course! We couldn't go back on a promise, especially one to you. Come, we'll show you the ropes." You pull him along and he holds your hands. This was all you needed. Donghyuck and Mark, your flames, your sun, and your moon.

Someone summons you again, but you don't care. You had eternity with them.

You couldn't be happier.

AHGHGH the ending feels rushed again and it was kind of rushed I mean I wrote this all in the span of two days, but that's the ADHD hyperfixation doing it's thing anyways it was going to be just a threesome but then my brain did this thing where it was romance or die so 😭

[underdark-dreams]

Hello! I would first like to thank you for getting me into the Rolan boat, this arrogant emotionally-constipated (affectionate) wizard has taken over my mind and he is all I think about now.

That being said, I was wondering if you would be able to do a rolan x tav like a few years or even a decade into their relationship? Does settling into Sorcerous Sundries and becoming a better mage make Rolan softer? How is he connecting with the rest of the magic community (I am personallya Rolan and Gale rare books reading club supporter) What would be some of the major long term disagreements in their relationship and how do you think they would work through it? What would this man's ideal 'happily ever after' look like?

Thank you so much!

This was great food for thought! 🖤 Thank you so much!

I kind of want to work on future Rolan x Tav as its own little standalone fic, because that idea is so sweet—but here are some headcanons on that & all these other what-ifs. Apologies that they're a bit jumbled, I can't concentrate when Rolan

Rolan loves his tower! He definitely feels the weight and responsibility of being the new steward for all this collected research and knowledge. But he also loves that he can go through his books and satisfy his curiosity whenever he wants, after so long yearning for someone to teach him and nurture his magic. He learns to do that for himself

I think the big thing that will soften and kind of humble him over the years will be once he accepts that personal growth will never stop. There is not a mystical point X where he could stand and say, did it, I have reached the pinnacle of archwizardry. He learns how to stop rushing forward and enjoy other things in life, most of all his relationship with Tav.

Once all the Absolute business is finally settled, Rolan will definitely want to lock that down. It doesn't need to be a legal marriage per se, but he is extremely committed to the relationship & wants the same from them. If he had his way Tav would have moved in yesterday. He's ready to wake up next to them for the rest of his life. Buys a house in the city right beside his old place where Lia and Cal still live & can't wait to merge his found family with his new family. His happily ever after is being surrounded by the people he loves and watching them thrive, especially when it's because of him. Having the capacity to care for Tav and Cal and Lia makes him incredibly fulfilled.

Some big potential sources of conflict in his and Tav's relationship:

Jealousy and insecurity. Rolan has some deep abandonment issues from his past, so if he ever felt like Tav was straying emotionally or making him jealous on purpose, that would really hurt his trust. Deep down he needs to know they love him, and hear it once a day preferably

Control issues/willfulness. Older brother mode activated. Rolan likes to do things his way and is very stubborn and proud about conceding to others. He does see Tav more as his equal, unlike his little siblings, but it's hard for him to translate that into actions. There will be a lot of fights over any big decisions where he & Tav disagree. Part of working through it would probably mean Rolan confronting why he needs to control things so badly (growing up without much control over anything in his life maybe? Hmm). He would genuinely benefit from therapy & from learning how to translate all his feelings into constructive words. Being with someone who would stand up to him would really benefit Rolan in the long run, though.

In the magical community: He's got a reputation as a rebel amongst the wizarding community, because 1) he's very much self-taught which is pretty unusual, and 2) not everyone approves of how freely he hands out information about the Weave, casting, etc to the curious younglings who visit his tower. Of course he'd never let anyone get into anything too powerful unsupervised, but after his experience with Lorroakan and realizing that this famed so-called archmage was actually just an idiot who stole everything from more powerful mages, he's like. The strict apprentice system can kinda get fucked honestly. He just doesn't agree that the basics of magic should be kept behind lock and key. Becomes a sort of magical literacy advocate. Let the children read

You might be surprised at how patient this man can be with children by the way! Lots of little magical prodigies hanging around Master Rolan's tower whenever he lets them. He'll kind of scowl to intimidate them into behaving themselves, but inside he loves to see curious minds reading and learning. As a primarily self-taught wizard, he also has an excellent grasp of pedagogy and how to describe concepts in a way a beginner would understand. He puts together his own beginner's magical textbook over the years. Holding the first printed copy in his hands is probably one of the proudest moments of career

To Rolan, Gale's reputation definitely precedes him at first—even before the events at the Grove he knew the name Gale of Waterdeep. Rolan is younger and admires Gale's skill a lot, so in the beginning of their professional relationship he's a bit intimidated. But you know Gale, he is friendly and endearing from the get go. Rolan often thinks if he'd had a teacher like Gale in his youth, he could have nurtured his magical skills much earlier.

Definitely, definitely also subscribe to the Rolan/Gale book club! They become kindred spirits in that regard over the years. Gale makes a visit to Rolan's tower to inform him of this fascinating manuscript that has just surfaced in Evereska, and Rolan is like "Really? I thought the Fae destroyed that centuries ago…" and the two of them just sort of wander off in conversation. Not to reappear for hours. Probably plotting like naughty children over a bottle of wine about how they are going to get their hands on the Ancient Forbidden Book without Tav finding out