#yearly reflection

[crimson-kas]

My yearly reflection for 2023 ended up being on the last page of this Hobonichi Weeks Memo notebook. What a satisfying way to end a notebook!

[authorkarajorgensen]

My End of 2024 Reflection

Let me tell you, this year was SO MUCH better than last year. 2023 was horrendous, and while 2024 has not been great on a national scale, on a personal level it has been a breath of fresh air. The word I had chosen for my word of the year for 2024 was “navigate” because I felt like I had been tossed into turbulent waters due to the fact that I was being harassed and besmirched by Freydis…

[thenotebookwizard]

2023, I hardly knew you and I won’t miss you.

It feels like this year has flown past at a breakneck pace, something that happens more and more often as I get older. I’m close to be being old now, and I don’t like it. My ice has been mostly a series of unfortunate circumstances, struggles with disability, and the persistent inability to take care of myself and get myself in a place where I can have a few things I want and need.

In short, I’m starting to realize how screwed I might be.

It’s no wonder I developed anxiety in my 40s.

That aside, my first reflection on 2023 was that it was not a good year and I didn’t get much accomplished, but that’s not really true, I think. It’s more true to say I didn’t get done all the things I wanted to get done.

Highlights of the year, I suppose?

I got dumped. Sucks. Is what it is. I wish she hadn’t taken the cat, though.

I am deeper in debt. No surprise there.

My Dad is starting a slow decline in health. I know it. I think he does, too, but…nothing can be done about that. He’s older.

I wrote over 850,000 words. Close to my goal, but not quite there., I can do it this year. Hit a million words.

I have more consistent income

I managed to re-organize and re-arrange my space

I posted 13 fics and far exceeded my goals there

I am both a better and a worse writer than I knew

I got back on tumblr

I adopted two kittens

I got my first *two* gift fics

Participated in a couple of fandom events

I wrote my first drabble

I didn't get enough accomplished, but considering all the rest of what happened, it's not so bad. I'll do better next year.

Really, the place I had the most success last year is where I usually have the least success. Writing. I finished a bunch of things, wrote a metric fuckton of words, some of which got published to AO3. Go me?

I also got momentum going, which died in December, but I can get there again. I know I can and I will. I can do more this year.

I'm looking forward to trying to, anyway.

[mymemoirs]

Stepping into 2025 with Hope

Have I started to master the art of living?

2024 had ended a few days ago and I'd like to think that I did great last year (still feels very weird to refer 2024 as past tense).

2023, and the year before that, I have always started my reflection each year with frustration and crying. It had become a yearly activity for me to be chanting and then crying because I'm frustrated at where I am in life. Even my close friends and sisters would approached me warily during the end of the year because they knew that I am sensitive and might cry any time they asked "What are you up to this year and what you're going to do next year?"

However, 2024 was different. Yes, I still cry that year but it was for a very different reason. I no longer cried because I'm scared of entering a new year and feeling anxious of what's to come and what I haven't achieved this year.

======

What changed?

Around the beginning of 2024, I had the opportunity to visit Taiwan for a company's event and during the time I was there, I took the chance to visit Taiwan Soka Association at Zhongshan district which is not too far from the hotel I stayed in.

I took my cousin, who were studying and working there, to visit the center with me. I think we were very lucky because our visit coincided with the meetings of international members living in Taiwan. We initially thought we had to get our Chinese gears working, but it turned out everyone was conversing in English. There were members from India, Japan, America, Malaysia and even Indonesia.

Back then, I was still the same sensitive girl who often felt hopeless about my future. So, when I saw that the meeting discussion were about 'resolution or prayers goals' and 'how to chant to have our prayers answered', I felt like it was meant for me, as I was feeling so lost at the time.

I mustered the courage to be honest in front of members who were meeting me for the very first time. Instead of sharing my resolution or how I chanted to have them answered, I told the opposite. I had been struggling for a long time to have my prayers answered, and my indecisiveness about my future had left me deeply frustrated. Whenever I spoke about this, tears would well up in my eyes and eventually I would break down crying. It was quite embarrassing to cry in front of strangers, but everyone was incredibly kind and understanding.

One of the story that I constantly remembered was shared by a Malaysian member living in Taichung (one of the cities I've visited in Taiwan). She had always been praying that her son would one day continue his studies in Soka University, but his son decided to continue his college in Taiwan despite graduating from Soka High School in Japan. She felt like her prayers weren't answered back then, it was only through a series of events that she realized that it was an 'inconspicuous blessing' and she shouldn't be setting goals for his son because he is his own person.

Another member kindly commended me for sticking until now even though it seems my prayers haven't been answered yet. She proceeded to tell me about the analogy of a man with a bow, if the archer didn't have a clear target then he wouldn't know where to aim. It was the same for my case, and I felt she's trying to encourage me not to be doubtful.

Back home, after the eventful trip, I chanted whilst reflecting on what they've told me. I started to recount the inconspicuous blessing they mentioned. I'm healthy, I have a good job that pays me well, and overall life has been good in 2023 but I am not happy at all. There's always a tug in my heart that prevents me from being in the moment and just be happy for myself and others from the bottom of my heart.

As I kept chanting, I came into one very simple resolve: "This year (2024), I will not be crying for the same reasons I cried in the previous year". Personally, it had been life changing after I decided this for myself. I am still scared of what the future holds, but I am learning to enjoy the moment, to do my best and take action even when I'm unsure instead of overthinking and going back and forth with my decisions. Safe to say, I kept my promise and I'm proud of myself for not crying over 2024.

2024 was a good year and I'm grateful for a lot of things. I had the opportunity to travel overseas to East Asia, Taiwan and Japan. Both trips had been an eye-opening experience and had enriched my faith. Most importantly, at a personal level, I worked up the courage to move forward with my goal of pursuing a higher degree abroad.

I have been thinking what major I should take since last year, which is me being indecisive, but I started to narrow it down in 2024. Took the IELTS test and pass with flying colors (band 8!) even though I'm doubtful if I could surpass my previous bandscore of 7.5 because I'm quite busy juggling with work, life and gakkai to even study consistently.

I'm really happy that I gathered the courage, even though it hasn't led to anything tangible yet. However, for me, persuading myself to decide on a path and take a step toward it had been something I struggled with for years. So, being able to take IELTS or even apply to a school was a huge thing for me.

I'm still scared and doubtful, always wondering if this will be the right decision. But I'm learning to trust myself and move forward bravely. My dad once told me, when I was crying because I was anxious about my future, "We have this faith, what are you afraid of?" Initially, it wasn't easy for me to completely trust that, but as I move forward and resolve not to stay stagnant, it has become a reminder for me that I am capable of weathering through any storm with my faith.

======

We don't know what the future holds, but as I stepped into 2025 from 2024, I wasn't as anxious as before. I feel there's a tiny hope that 2025 will be different. Some of the things that contributes to that is having a close colleague resigning to pursue better work opportunities, and friends switching jobs.

If they can embrace change, so can I. Here's to an interesting year ahead!✨✨✨

-Reina.

P.S. This is such an overdue post, it's almost the middle of January already.

[feed-our-souls-too]

You'll Never Feel Ready...... Or Maybe You Will?

Or: How I Learned to be an Artist by Being Ok with Where I Am Right Now.

I never posted my 2022 reflection. I got to it later in January, rather than over my time off between Christmas & New Years, & things started to get busier at work - which was followed by a year with lots of changes and frustrations. It was pretty draining, though I think it's moving me towards some important growth. And my reflection on last year feels like a good touchstone for what I hope for 2024.

///

I think I stumbled into my yearly reflection blog. I couldn't seem to find something that felt right to write about before now, but I was praying and I realized it was obvious. Gratitude.

I'm grateful that I'm where I am as an artist and a person. That I actually am doing art on most days. That I finish most of what I start and what I don't finish isn't neglected out of anxiety but simply too many ideas and too little time. That I feel like, if I were given a project, I could probably figure out how to do it, instead of just panicking; I have some ways of processing through a project that make it doable. That I enjoy art as much as I do when I could be sick of it or just made anxious by it. That I did a real commission and wasn't too excited about it but now I'm almost finished and it was a great experience! Challenging but good. Maybe good for me because it wasn't my go-to thing to draw and it was challenging, but it was good. I've come a long way and I'm getting to a place where I feel ready to seek out doing art professionally.

People always said "You'll never feel ready."

However, they meant we'll never feel perfectly equipped, with every skill and every technique and every way of processing through how a project might be done. Of course, I'm not completely ready! I never will be unless I start being able to tell the future! (hahaha- *how terrifying that thought is...). I couldn't handle my anxiety, so I couldn't finish things - so of course, I wasn't ready. I didn't have any discipline, so there's no way I would've gotten everything done on time - so of course I wasn't ready. I was only creating based on my whims, with no emphasis on learning and growing so I didn't have the tools I needed to work through challenges - so of course I wasn't ready.

The sense of being ready that I have now isn't about the end result being perfection; it's about knowing myself and knowing that I can trust myself when I encounter challenges to stay and not run. Really, it's that I trust God, that He can hold me together through the storm of anxiety. That His strength is greater than the influence of my brokenness.

I guess If I were to say something to those out there who might need it, it would be: If you don't feel ready, then say "No" to being rushed. Take time to ask, "Why? Why aren't you ready?" It could be simple fear and that you just need to dive in. Or it could be that you need to work on yourself first, to be a healthy person, to create out of a good place instead of a bad one. Keep in mind that you have time. You don't have to become a well-paid artist tomorrow. There are ways to get by in the mean time if you must. Learn to be ok with where you are first.

I'm surprisingly frustrated by how long it took me to realize all this and how long people tried to help me get "out there" without asking me if I wanted it or was ready for it. I guess because it feels like they all assumed they knew best without really talking to me. Saying "I'm not ready," was so easily dismissed by everyone as just an excuse as they wielded their "encouraging" platitude of "You'll never be ready, just do it!" It felt invalidating. And then, instead of working on myself, I tried to push myself to be the artist I felt people expected me to be instead of working on the artist and the person I was to someday be ready, to be healthy.

Being a healthy artist now though ("healthy," remember, not "perfect"), I know I owe to God. It sounds sort of over the top to say this, but I don't know if I'd be here if not for recognizing my anxiety for what it was while having art as a tangible way of dealing with it, and it is God who put artistic tendencies in me and equipped me to overcome my anxiety. Not that I don't still deal with it, but it doesn't rule me very often anymore. I can feel the symptoms of panic while knowing it's just my body reacting and I don't have to let my heart and mind follow along in its wake, joining in the panic.

None of that guarantees I'll be the artist I want to be... not in this life, I guess. To say "You have time," when you don't have the hope of Heaven is to say, in a sense, "Pretend you have time - because none of us really knows how much time we have left." And that's true. For me, however, I know God has made me an artist for a purpose, even if it's only for our mutual joy, and there will be plenty time for that in Heaven, in the presence of the Fount of All Creativity. When I say "I have time, so I don't have to become a successful artist tomorrow," there's a degree of contentment with where I'm at (Art is no longer something I'm trying to leverage to escape the things I fear), as well as an acknowledgment that, if not in this life, then in Heaven at least I will have opportunities to be an artist. I'll be given the chance not to make something of this world, but of the Next, to be creative in ways I couldn't even conceive of on this Earth, to be shaped purely and without the filter of sin by the Creator that made all from pure imagination. This excites me but also brings me peace. Peace, because of knowing that I am not racing against a deadline, that I won't "peak" in this life, that I won't run out of creativity, that someday I'll create freely in full safety with no worry of judgment & for the pure joy of it.

I don't have to be everything and all of it now, this instant, or else be a 'Failure' (...whatever that really means when we often learn and grow via failing). There is time and it is worth it to accept that time (& the challenges of being ok with being in that time). It is worth it. We don't have to rush. Take your time.

///

How apt this is. Little did I know that 2023 would be a blur of tiredness and frustration that pushed back my art dreams another year. Yet I also know that I've grown a fair amount: I've improved with color, tried out new stylistic things, realized some of the hallmarks of my style, finished my 2nd paid project, completed a two-piece paid project that wasn't commissioned by someone I know, and made art more consistently (somehow!) among other things.

So what does 2024 have ahead? Of course, I don't really know, but maybe it'll look a little, ironically, like overcoming my fear. Yes, I make more freely. I finish artwork all the time now (a thing I couldn't make myself do a few years back). But it's so easy to be comfortable. I hope 2024 looks like putting myself out there in spite of my fear and seeing at least a little reward back from that - whatever that looks like.

[ribbittrobbit]

18 years old vs. 26 years old

turned 26 today, meaning i'm one year out from charlotte lucas' "I'm 27 years old, I've no money and no prospects. I'm already a burden to my parents. And I'm frightened."

I think 18 year old me could take me in a fight, honestly. She didn't have carpal tunnel + wasn't googling stretching routines for her hip flexors. BUT she weighed 60 kg soaking wet so I could totally just sit on her and she'd be done.

[mlarayoukai]

Wow I hadn't realized there hasn't been a new pokemon movie since 2020. They were a yearly thing since 1998. I don't think they were on the decline (although the koko movie looked particularly bad to me) so I wonder why it seems they completely stopped making these

[powerful-niya]

2024 Reflection ˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

🧁🌸🌷🎀

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things could fall together."

- Marilyn Monroe

2024

Looking back on 2024, I realize that it has been a deep and thorough process for me. I don’t know if it’s just me, but the year felt like it went by both fast and slow at the same time. So much has happened in what feels like no time at all, and it’s honestly been hard to sit down and sort through everything—everything I’ve experienced, learned, and endured. 

If I had to sum it up, I’d say 2024 was a mess for me, but it was one of those beautiful messes. Life kinda… threw me into the fire—whether it was through challenging situations at the university I atttend, the people I’ve met, or the events that unfolded (personally, academically, or even on social media). Challenge after challenge kept coming, and there were moments I seriously doubted I’d make it through. 

But somehow, here I am, stronger for it. 

On top of everything, I’ve had to take a big step back from social media this year. I just needed to escape the constant chaos and take time for myself—time to enjoy being me and write at my own pace. Honestly, with all the writing events and prompts I’ve been doing, I’ve realized just how much I really hate writing with deadlines. Deadlines and I? We’ve never been a great match, even though I always try forcing it though, lol. It’s always a struggle to get everything done on time, and it just adds so much pressure. It’s like I’m constantly worried I’m not living up to what I promised I could do. Too much stress, you know?

As much as I love writing, deadlines definitely suck the fun out of it for me. But on the bright side, I do love writing one-shots. So, after giving it some thought, I’ve decided I probably won’t join many writing events in 2025—except for the Halloween one I’m doing with my sister. 

But anything other than that? Nah. 

I’ve got a ton of other projects I need to focus on and actually finish, so I really need to buckle down and get really serious about them.

✨Looking back, 2024 has been a wild ride, and there’s so much for me to reflect on and document from this crazy adventure.✨

Personal Growth and Milestones ˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

🎀 Started a New Job (Workstudy)

🎀 Got More Involved at My University (Clubs, events)

🎀 Started painting

🎀 Dedicated time to self-care

🎀Read More

🎀Started watching more anime (and added a few to my "must-finish" list): DanDaDan, Jujutsu Kaisen, Beelzebub, SPY X Family, Undead Unluck, Noragami, Tokyo Ghoul, Yakuza Fiance: Raise wa Tanin ga li, A Girl & Her Guard Dog, Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma, Trigun Stampede, Sailor Moon Crystal, Love of Kill, Blue Exorcist, Chainsaw Man, Demon Slayer: Kimestu no Yaiba, Dr. Stone, The Misfit of Demon King Academy, Solo Leveling. 

🎀Wrote a lot…again. 

Creative Achievements

🎀 Attended the Naruhina Fanzine (2024)

🎀 Collaborated on Vicetober (Halloween Event)

🎀 Recognized in Creator Spotlight  (Naruhina Month 2024)

🎀 Completed Naruhina Month 2023

2024 Writing Endeavors ˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

🎀 Completed approximately 555,824 words this year.

🎀 Designed 12 moodboards, this year. 

Kiss Me, Thrill Me Collection

Theme: NHMonth2023  Platforms: Wattpad / AO3

A Clash Of Possession

Arc 1: In The Shadow Of The Hyūga Pairing: Naruhina   Prompts: Evil AU + Yakuza AU   Platforms: Wattpad / AO3 Published: March 2024  

Breaking Boundaries (Pt. 1 & Pt. 2)

Prompts: Sports/Gym AU + "I made a mistake, but I love you."   Pairing: Naruhina Platforms: Wattpad / AO3 Published: May 2024  

Beneath The Crown

Prompts: Forbidden Love + War And Love   Pairing: Naruhina Platforms: Wattpad / AO3 Published: July 2024  

The Girl In Red (Pt. 1 & Pt. 2) 

Prompts: Little Red Riding Hood + Urban Legends   Pairing: Naruhina Platforms: Wattpad / AO3 Published: July - August 2024  

A Love Reborn (Pt. 1, Pt. 2, & Pt. 3) 

Prompts: Beauty And The Beast + Destiny + Reincarnated Lovers   Pairing: Naruhina Platforms: Wattpad / AO3 Published: October - November 2024  

Jelly Hubby

Prompt: Misunderstandings   Pairing: Naruhina Platforms: Wattpad / AO3 Published: November 2024  

Between Us

Prompts: Stolen Glances + Caught In The Rain Pairing: Naruhina Platforms: Wattpad / AO3  Published: November 2024  

Sweet Vices (Vicetober)

Theme: Halloween (Vicetober) Event Coordinators: @powerful-niya(Me) & @naeverse 🩷 Platforms: Wattpad / AO3

Serendipity (Pt. 1 & 2)

Vice: Pride   Pairing: Naruhina Platforms: Wattpad / AO3  Published: October 2024  

Sweet Madness

Vice: Lust   Pairing: Naruhina  Platforms: Wattpad / AO3  Published: October 2024 

Conclusion ˚₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

2024 been such a wild ride—pushing my limits, finding new passions, and working on becoming a better version of myself. It hasn’t been easy, but I can’t deny that 2024 came with its share of fun and meaningful moments too. Honestly, it felt like holding up a mirror and seeing myself in a way I never have before. Every step, no matter how big or small, has helped me grow into someone stronger and more balanced. 🌸🧁🌷

Also, this is me responding to my last reminiscing post for 2023, I wouldn't say 2024 topped 2023, so here's hoping 2025 does it ( I graduate from college this year too, so I already feel like it will, hehe)

So, I'm truly looking forward to all that lies ahead!

#Goodbye 2024

✨Happy New Years! ✨

- Powerful_Niya

[0dotexe]

Having ome of those nights where I feel like everything I do/create/write just isn't good enough and will probably never find it's audience, but I have to keep going. It's all I have.

[gubbly]

finally finished a like 2month old sketch

[hafhaff]

Faust's route has come, and so has Baldaust 👨🏻‍🦲

[ang00r]

.

[blorboresidue]

sorry that our prices went up again. it is going directly into my paycheck actually

[slime-crafters]

To be fair, this is kind of a fairy vs walrus situation.

Like, it's much easier to accept/think it's normal that I have forest magic given to me by a wizard who's also the town hermit and that drinking green tea makes me hallucinate, but it's too much to believe that green water rains down and causes the entire valley to be absolutely flooded with fiber and magically-growing trees and also it makes you feel like you're in the apocalypse the first time it happens

The best thing about the new stardew update is you can tell concerned ape got comfortable just being fucking weird. Which is understandable considering most indie devs have to be some level of insane

[mymemoirs]

2023 is Ending...

I still have the same concern every year. Especially since it's nearing the end of the year, which is "What's the next goal I should achieve?"

When 2023 come to me, I convinced myself by saying: "It's okay, 2024 I'll be going for a master's degree. 2023 I'll be preparing for it." and move on with life. The only effort I did was taking up English classes for IELTS but I'm starting to consider quitting it.

Don't get me wrong, taking classes is a good thing. I could treat this as an investment, but at the same time I don't really find the classes to be helping me get better at IELTS because we don't really practice IELTS from 0. As in, we're only practicing English through reading & listening. While, speaking and writing requires you to digest the questions and present it skillfully. I don't really get to experience that a lot in my classes, since the teacher have a lot of students and he mainly focuses us with grammar, phrasal verbs and what nots. It's good actually, just that I haven't tried putting all that into action.

Besides that, it's starting to get a tad tired to always go to class without having a clear goal. If IELTS is my goal, then I have to set myself on when I should take the tests. Once I took my IELTS, I can move on with other things.

I doubt you would ask, "Well, 2024 is coming right? You're aiming for a master's degree, I think it's still possible to achieve that goal in 2024." but I'm gonna tell you anyways.

I know that it's still possible to achieve it and I believe I can do it... if I put my mind on it. Unfortunately, because of me dilly dallying on what major to take, I have miss opportunities. Still, at the end of 2023, I haven't yet to make a final decision about it.

As 2024 is approaching in a few hours, I haven't yet to decide what to pursue for myself. I still hope to get a master's degree, it was something I always wanted personally since I was in school and I thought it was natural for me to have a master's degree abroad. I expected it for myself and the thought of not achieving this ate me away.

However, at the same time, what I actually need right now is a breakthrough. It's hard to admit it but I had ease into my life here. It wasn't that comfortable per say but it has become my comfort zone, enough to trap myself. I remembered feeling ambitious and I wasn't anymore. Only looking forward to weekends and the end of the day. I still had that desire to be and do more but I'm afraid that too is wilting away.

Ah, well, how typical of me to be melodramatic. It shouldn't be this way. I should put lofty ambitions for 2024 (work in progress). I have this feeling that 2024 would be my year or at least the year I could breakthrough from all of this. However, that doesn't mean leaving behind my responsibilities. I'll still do my best with work and organizational activities at the same time I'll learn to benefit from those experiences and carve my breakthrough.

For now, adieu! - Reina

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