#yeah. this got long enough to go in that tag i think
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op re your tag: #do you think they played 20 questions
yes! yes, i absolutely do! because—as you said—two hours is a very long time to spend treading water while maybe possibly probably about to die, but especially with somebody you don't know all that well.
and this is stiles we're talking about! adhd motormouth stiles stilinski, who cannot bear uncomfortable (or even comfortable lol) silences at the best of times. so put him in an incredibly tense situation? with somebody he doesn't know very well? somebody he is nervous around (because contrary to popular belief stiles does actually have some self preservation instincts, plus, y'know, there's the whole derek is objectively hot as all sin thing) and of course he would start babbling away incessantly! ofc he would!
so yeah yes uh-uh you can absolutely bet your bottom dollar that stiles is gonna rope the local creeper wolf into playing 20 questions!
that boy will also absolutely be getting derek to play the “i go to the shops and buy...” recall game that his mom used to play with him when he was a little kid! he will absolutely be forcing der to sing the national anthem with him (derek does not sing, he doesn't, but he's maybe about to possibly die and is losing his mind a little so sue him if he grumbles through the verses an octave deeper than stiles's ridiculous soprano)! stiles absolutely asks derek what his favourite thai order is (it's pad thai, which stiles mocks him for because it's such an unbelievably basic choice, and derek resolutely tells him to fuck off) and stiles in turn shares with derek that his favourite is tom yum goong which obviously means he is more adventurous than derek (which is when derek tells stiles that hot and sour shrimp soup is not really that adventurous, and then reminds stiles that stiles can resolutely fuck off)! and then, what with the whole probable death thing, stiles absolutely starts to wonder if derek might be thinking about his family, and wonders when the last time was that derek got to talk about them, so he asks derek to tell stiles stuff about them, and at first derek is too stubborn (upset) to talk about them, but stiles keeps asking him more and more questions about his mom and dad and brothers and sisters and cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents, and derek realises that he really does want to talk about them all so he starts answering stiles's questions in only short sentences at first but then finds himself regaling funny stories about them and thinks about all sorts other fond memories because of this, ending up telling stiles things he hasn't thought about in years and it's really nice, so then he's then asking stiles about stiles's family, and stiles says he's never had that much of it really but talks about how losing his mom when he was little was and is the fucking worst thing that ever happened to him because she was his best friend in the whole wide world (he loves his dad too, but saw even less of him back when he was a deputy) and he tells derek how he misses her like a lung and that he talks to her sometimes (which derek does with laura, too, but isn't about to admit to that) and that derek's deadpan humour often reminds him of her, and then he hears derek huff a little bit and it's the kind of huff that sounds almost like a laugh, a kind one, and stiles knew that talking and talking and not shutting up to try and break the ice during this week's perilous situation would pay off and hey! look at that! he absolutely got the trauma edgelord lycanthrope to not only open up about his life but to cheer up a bit and not be such a sourwolf and even laugh a little, too! which hey, if they're about to die, that's objectively actually the best thing a human and werewolf could do together, right?
so yeah, maybe op is spot on and we don't talk about this scene enough. which is a shame because there is SO much scope here, and we absolutely should delve into it more, again and again and again—because i think it is absolutely what stiles (and derek) would do xp
We really need to talk about the fact the stiles was prepared to drown to keep Derek alive.
He was treading water for two hours with Derek weight on him and only when his muscles started to give up did he try and hang onto the diving board. If Scott didn’t get there in time both stiles and Derek would have drown.
Also they couldn’t have been completely silent the entire time. Do you think as they both felt stiles weaken that they’d have to come to grips with the idea of dying. Do you think how Derek was paralyzed in the arms of a human (he doesn’t trust humans) and spent the entire time thinking “well this is the moment he’s going to let me go and I drown”; and how shocked he must of been when stiles refused to let him go. I know that stiles was definitely thinking about his dad. I wonder when the moment was that they realized they might die in that pool. The final moments before they both went under when stiles is trying so hard to keep them both alive. The way that stiles talks about drowning after this incident.
I really feel like we don’t talk about this enough.
#might have to write this fic now#love everything you brought up here op!#thank you for helping the brainrot to ferment a little further and in turn inspiring this <3#sterek#stiles stilinski#derek hale#the pool scene
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Don’t You Want Me (Baby?) Pt 1
Steve and Eddie have been hooking up and are about as bad at keeping a secret as they are dealing with their feelings. (Dustin POV)
———
“For the record, I still think this is dumb.” Lucas said over the wind.
“Yeah, well, you’re dumb.” Mike said, sharp witted as always.
“Got you there.” Will grinned, sidling up beside him on his bike. Mike shot him a look, vaguely betrayed. Will shrugged innocently and kept peddling.
“Alright, alright, let the court record reflect you’re both morons.” Dustin sighed, peddling between the bickerer’s bikes and cutting ahead.
All four boys skirted to a stop outside the trailer park. Dustin wiped at his forehead under his cap, the humidity creeping back up on them as soon as the air stopped it’s rushing by.
“Dude, if Eddie wasn’t picking up the phone, well, there’s probably a reason for that.” Lucas said, in that tone of his. The demeaning one.
Dustin just shook his head. Name one good reason to ignore your party? One good reason. Dustin certainly couldn’t!
He started walking his bike up through the dusty lot, leaving the rest with little choice but to march ever onward.
“Maybe he’s still sleeping.” Will said, lingering a bit behind the pack.
“At 1 in the afternoon?” Lucas rolled his eyes.
“What? He does, like,” Mike’s voice dropped to a paranoid whisper. “weed, right? Jonathan’s always sleeping in?” Mike looked behind them at Will, who shrugged.
“Eddie,” Dustin said his name rather uncharitably but he’s at his limit here, really, he is “has been dodgy weeks now. Doesn’t answer the phone, he’s never free on the weekend, never hangs out after Hellfire anymore - I’m telling you guys, somethings up.”
“Or maybe - he’s finally graduated after the third try and he’s tired of hanging around high schoolers all the time.” Lucas rolled his eyes.
Dustin shook his head at Lucas, because that can’t be it. Eddie loves them. Well, he loves Dustin and likes the rest of Hellfire’s fresh meat well enough. They bonded, alright? - after everything they went through in the Upside Down. Hell, they’re practically brothers. And it’s not just Dustin who thinks that, Eddie had said it first. Well, he called him ‘the little brother I never wanted’ but had said so sarcastically. Obviously, he’d meant the opposite.
Hard to feel wanted right now though, considering as of circa maybe a month ago, Eddie’s been MIA. He still shows up to Hellfire, obviously. But that was about it.
After stopping the clock on the apocalypse and banding together to clear Eddie’s good name, it kind of become a thing - Eddie taking them out to get slushies after a game. Calling up Eddie to tell him, not ask, but tell him they were all going to the arcade. He’d even gone to Eddie’s trailer a few times so he could help Dustin homebrew his subclass!
Steve had started tagging along too, usually. Him and Eddie even getting started to get less awkward around each other after a while. Not best friends or anything, Not like Dustin was hoping. But friendly. It had been totally awesome! And totally annoying that he had mysteriously gone to ground.
It’s possible Dustin’s being, well he doesn’t want to say needy...
It’s just, Steve started picking up extra shifts at work and spending a whole lot of time with Robin. Not that Dustin didn’t support their relationship. Steve’s been single so long, it hadn’t started verging on pathetic exactly, but it was a near thing.
It’s just hard for a guy not to feel neglected.
The four boys had almost reached the trailer when they heard it. At first Dustin dismissed it, surely the trailer next doors’ doing. But no, that music definitely coming from Eddie’s.
That in and of itself, wouldn’t be unusual. Eddie is likely the loudest human being on the planet. No, the weird part is it’s not thrashy, garbage can lid, Eddie-music but goddamn…
��Is that - “ Mike said, trailing off from sheer befuddlement.
“Culture Club.” Lucas could barely hide the cackle in his voice.
“What in the -“ Dustin muttered, throwing his bike in the grass and wandering up to the door like it was a gate to another dimension. For all he knows, it might just be.
“Eddie?” He knocked on the door. Nothing. He tried again. Obviously, someone’s home.
Dustin’s only met the man briefly but he didn’t take Munson Sr for being the bubblegum pop type.
Besides, Mr. Munson certainly wouldn’t be playing anything this loud unless those late nights at the plant had him going deaf. Dustin peeked through the window into the living room. More nothing.
“Oh man.” Lucas shoved him to press his face against the glass too. There was a slow smile creeping across his face, like he was suddenly overjoyed they had come to the trailer park after all. Lucas wasn’t gonna let their DM live this one down, not any time soon. “I thought he was supposed to be cool.”
“He is cool.” Mike said.
Dustin just sighed, threw his hands up, and started rounding the corner of the RV. Eddie’s van was here, ergo Eddie. Dustin was sure he’d be lurking around here somewhere. The rest of the boys followed, their previous hesitation now nowhere to be seen.
“Come on.” He gestured towards the window. They all leaned in and Dustin was already furiously rapping on the window. “Ed - “
Dustin’s eyes went wide. And maybe his face a bit pink.
Eddie was here alright.
He was laying in bed. Very much not alone. There were two of them, lying in bed together. They were under the covers but Eddie was sprawled out on top of someone, a thick curtain of hair hanging over both faces. Clearly, ew, kissing, based on, and Dustin might be scarred for life here, a hand gripping Eddie’s hair at the base of his neck.
As for the tunes, the obvious culprit was in the corner of the room. Eddie’s little cassette stereo.
“Eddie?” Dustin blanched before he could stop himself. And it was of course, in that exact moment Culture Club decided to betray them and the tape cut out.
Will went to shush him, grabbing his shoulder to drag him away but oh no, Eddie definitely heard something. The guy squawked and jolted up in bed, swooping the covers up to hide them both in their immodesty. Eddie’s eyes peaked over his elbow like a vampire leering over his cloak. He gaped at the window, clearly rather horrified.
The boys all threw themselves out of the frame, Dustin pressing up against the back of the trailer.
“What the fuck - “ he heard Eddie say. “What the fuck.” He sounded almost angry but closer to panicked. There was a vague whispering match, but whispering was never really Eddie’s strong suit, so they heard him just fine.
“Relax.” Eddie said, though he did not himself sound relaxed. “No, it’s fine. We’re cool. You need to - I need you cool right now.”
They heard something like a grown man crashing off the bed and gracelessly hit the floor.
“I know, I know, I know. I know! Christ, I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t - I’ll deal with it. Just - “
The boys were already turning tail and scurrying back to their bikes. Gone entirely red in the face.
“I told you this was a bad idea.” Mike said, the hypocrite bastard.
“No you did not!” Dustin huffed.
The front door swung open with a bang and Eddie came spilling out towards them as he, oh gross, scrambled to get into his jeans. He was still shirtless and sweaty, hair fluffed up like an angry cat. Looking rather frantic.
“It’s not what it looks like!” He actually looked properly pissed, hands shaking with it as he did up his fly.
“We didn’t see anything.” Lucas put his hands up, but the guilty way he refused to meet Eddie’s eyes kind of gave up the game.
“Nothing!” Will squeaked, beet red and squeezing his eyes closed tight. Just in case they hadn’t made themselves look incriminating enough.
“God, of all the shit fucking timing -“ Eddie’s fist clenched up in front of him and he let out a frustrated noise, eyes darting around the trailer park. “Look I can explain. If you just, ergh, give me a minute to think of something.”
“No need! We didn’t see anything, promise.” Mike assured him again, his voice nearly steady. Good for him.
“Right so. I guess, did I mention I’ve take up recently taken up semi pro Grecian wrestling - “
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Dustin couldn’t help interrupting him. Lucas smacked him. He gave Lucas a face, which was returned, so Dustin did it again even harder. But fuck Lucas cause it may have been the right thing to say. Eddie stopped fluttering, looked right at him. Squinted, scanning his face.
“You know you can just tell us. If you did. You could have just told us in the first place.” Dustin didn’t get why Eddie wouldn’t. Did Eddie think this kind of thing was too ‘grown up’ for them. They were high school freshman for Christ sake! The only one of their little crew who didn’t have a girlfriend was Will. And I guess Steve.
Allegedly.
Of course, Dustin didn’t believe that for a second.
“I - what?” Eddie perked up.
“If you had a girlfriend. Do you? Is that - “
Eddie huffed out a hysterical laugh. It was weird. But then, Eddie wasn’t exactly the poster child for Normal. Dustin crossed his arms.
“Sure. Yeah.” He took a big breath as he looked behind him back into the trailer. “I have a... my girlfriend.”
“Sorry. For coming over.” Will said, timid like a mouse.
“It was Dustin’s idea.” He took Mike for many things but never a rat. Dustin sputtered indignantly, throwing up his hands.
“And we didn’t even see anything, really! So if you’re worried about your girlfriend’s modesty, like - we didn’t see anything, we swear! Right guys?.” Lucas insisted. Mike and Will bobbleheaded in agreement.
“What the hell are you squirts doing here, anyways?” Eddie said, scrubbing roughly at his forehead.
“I needed to get my binder.” Dustin said flatly. And maybe to remind Eddie that hey, he’s still here too. Like, right here.
“Your fucking - “ Eddie said in disbelief, and then he laughed. “Your binder.”
“You weren’t answering the phone.”
“Yeah well I was busy.” Eddie said, eyes wide and awfully antagonistic.
“Busy getting busy.”
Eddie turned his wild eyes on Lucas
“Thin ice, Sinclair. Thin fucking ice.”
That just made him chuckle again. At least he half tried to hide it behind his hand. But Lucas always was the least cowed by Eddie.
“Is this why you haven’t been hanging around anymore, like all month.”
“Jesus. Henderson, I’m sorry, ok? Hard as it is to believe, I do have a fucking life outside the game.” Yeah, Dustin thought, it was pretty hard to believe. “Look, just give me a second.”
“I’ll be quick - “ Dustin made a move to come inside.
“No.” Eddie firmly hip checked him out of the way.
Eddie slipped back into the trailer. Through the open door Dustin could just barely make out the words.
“False alarm. No - actually. I’m being serious. They think - “
They think what? Think they have a right to be here at Eddie’s trailer. Taking up space in Eddie’s life. Well they do. The party almost died saving the world side by side with Eddie, they had more right to be here than that - Dustin just grumbled. He wouldn’t call her a harlot. But only because Susie’s voice was already in the back of his head, admonishing the thought.
Eddie came back and pushed the binder hard into Dustin’s chest. He was stumbled back a step. “Now scram.” He said, not leaving room for Dustin to get a word in edgewise.
“Look, I’m sorry I haven’t been around but I… See you at Hellfire, ok?” Eddie slammed the door in their faces.
“How great could this even chick be?” Dustin frowned. Great enough to edge the party out of Eddie’s life it seems like.
The other boys just shrugged. They all picked up their bikes.
“I mean, why can’t he just like, bring her along when we hang out or something.”
“I told you, maybe he just wants to hang out with someone his own age for once.” Lucas said.
Maybe Eddie’s too cool to bring his new girlfriend around his dorky freshmen friends. Is he embarrassed to introduce them to her or something.
“Come on.” Will said. “We should get back to Mike’s.”
“Yeah. Yeah whatever.” Dustin said.
———
“So our parents said me and Mike and Lucas could go to the arcade for an hour before it gets dark.” Dustin said to Eddie as they walked through the empty school hallway after Hellfire.
“No can do, compadre. Fight the good fight against those Space Invaders in my steed, yeah?” Eddie grinned down at him over the few boxes of mini in his hands.
Dustin huffed.
“What? Too busy hanging out with your girlfriend? Dustin said petulantly. “Just bring her along if your - “
The three most senior PC’s in Hellfire skid to a stop in front of them. Dustin and Eddie nearly walked straight into the wall of them. It was almost comical the way all their heads swiveled around to oogle at him. Jeff only just managed to choke back a chortle.
Dustin was honestly offended on Eddie’s behalf. Sure, dude was a drug dealing, super duper senior nerd/freak/metalhead combo who had been semi-recently accused of ritualistic dismemberment - but certainly someone was into that.
“My -? Oh yeah my, my - that.” Eddie winced, avoiding many, many eyes.
“Oh, and you have a girlfriend now do you?” Gareth huffed a laugh, in clear disbelief. Eddie glared daggers at him.
Dustin really didn’t see why it was that hard to believe. Eddie was like, really cool. It was an indisputable fact. If all of them could see it, why couldn’t some weird, off the wall alt girl see it too.
“I don’t want to hear a fucking word from you. Any one of you.” Pointing rapidly at all three of them, like he was warding off the words waiting right at the tip of their tongues.
“So who’s the lucky lady, Munson?” Jared said, like he had ‘held action, Vicious Mockery’ and simply couldn’t help himself. He was fighting a positively delighted smile. Eddie flushed.
“The DM giveth and the DM taketh away, and you would be very wise to remember that, Ser Elias.” Eddie said loudly, still jabbing his finger about like it made him more authoritative.
“Sorry man, just joking around.” Jeff grinned good naturedly.
“Yeah, I mean, good for you dude.” Gareth said, with a genuine smile. He tapped Eddie on the chest who childishly batted Gareth’s hand away.
“No, don’t do that. I - seriously guys, we’re not - it’s not like that. I’m not ‘dating’ anyone.” Eddie deflated, looking uncomfortable. The unflappable Eddie, looking all too flappable after all. He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear and huffed. “Just someone I’ve been screwing around with alright.”
Eddie walked past them. Dustin almost felt bad for bringing it up. Almost.
He turned to Gareth.
“So you guys don’t have any idea who it is?”
The guys looked around at each other, all of them shrugging.
“Who knows.” Jared shrugged again, this one still no more helpful than the last.
“Unless,” Gareth straight up giggles, “it’s that suburban mom Eddie’s been swooning over since sophomore year.”
“Yeah right.” Jared chuckled, shoving Gareth forward. They all continued walking.
“That… doesn’t seem like his type.” Dustin said, suddenly confused and perturbed and feeling like he doesn’t know Eddie Munson at all.
“You’d be surprised.” Jared grinned and clapped a hand on his shoulder.
They exited the school just in time to see Steve getting out of the car. Usually after Hellfire he didn’t bother. He just wanted to get the kids rounded up and out of the parking lot as quickly as he could ever really manage. Not today though. Eddie walked to Steve’s Beemer, parked in the stall next to his van.
“Munson.” He said with a small smile. He grabbed one of a few boxes of minis out of Eddie’s arms.
“Uh, Harrington.” Eddie gave a hesitant smile, before bowing his head with predictable theatrically.
“Hi, Steve.” Dustin said from behind. Steve gave him a fond nod before looking back up to the DM.
“So, uh, how was the session?” He said kind of awkwardly.
“Bordering on child abuse.” Eddie beamed.
“I got knocked out, twice.” Lucas windged, holding up two fingers.
“Whatever keeps you humble.” Steve shrugged. He turned back to Eddie. “So. Uh. Any plans for this weekend?”
Eddie blinked, then he raised his eyebrows with a haughty grin. “Dunno, had a few things in mind.” He shrugged.
“Cool. That’s cool. I did too. But uh, then my parents came home from their trip early.” Steve scratched the back of his neck. “So, you know, guess there go my plans for the weekend.”
“Huh.” Eddie frowned. “Bummer.”
“Shotgun!” Dustin decided, throwing open the passenger side door.
Mike, Lucas, and Will who also couldn’t care less about their inane small talk, were already piling into Steve’s car. Steve was lingering though, helping Eddie load his stuff into the van. Dustin’s glad they’re making an effort to be friendly acquaintances, especially since he’s pretty sure it’s mostly for his own sake. But come on, it was like, 3 small boxes. They had space invasions to thwart.
And of course, Lucas was still bitching at Dustin about his failure to come through with a healing spell.
“I’m a bard, what did you want me to do?” Dustin rolled his eyes.
“You have healing word!” Lucas said, to which Dustin roll his eyes. Again.
“Which does like, 2D-nothing!” He looked out the window, wishing Steve would hurry the hell up already. Him and Eddie were still talking? What the hell did those two even have to talk about? Eddie was giving Steve an optimistic grin, but Steve was just shaking his head.
“Cute wounds than!” Lucas groused.
“Well, then you should have thought about that before you went down thirty-five feet away.”
“You could have dashed.” Lucas crossed his arms.
“Ugh. That would have defeated the whole - ugh!” Dustin rolled the window down impatiently. “Steve is it cool if I eat in your car?“ Dustin hollered. He wasn’t actually gonna, he just knew how to get the man’s attention.
“Absolutely not! You know the rules.”
“Don’t worry, it’s just a granola bar! Nature Valley.” Dustin shouted back.
“Don’t even think about it Henderson!” Steve said, already rounding the car. Eddie laughed brightly.
“Harrington?” He said.
“I - Yeah. Fine. Fine, alright.” Steve said to which Eddie smiled triumphantly. That better mean they were done with their little pow-wow.
Eddie climbed into his own vehicle. Steve opened the Beemer’s drivers side door but he didn’t get in yet. Instead he stood there running his hand through his hair muttering something to himself.
“See ya, nerds!” Eddie called out, lowering his own window. There was a chorus of goodbyes from the Beemer. “And Harrington -“ He started the van and a blast of guitar poured out. He smiled that Eddie smile. “You worry too much.” He said. And then he swept out of the parking lot with the sound of his obnoxious music on the wind.
“Yeah. Sure.” Steve said sarcastically. He got behind the wheel, Dustin’s threat of snacking seemingly forgotten.
“What was that about?”
Steve just waved him off and started the car.
Dustin eyed Steve skeptically. So what, were Steve and Eddie like, actually friends now or something?
Maybe he knows.
After a few minutes, Dustin finally broke and asked.
“Soooo, do you know who Eddie’s been seeing?”
“What?” Steve says, nearly swerving over the line.
“Jesus!” Lucas swore from the back.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve chuckled awkwardly, eyes now, thankfully, firmly fixed on the road.
“Of course he’s not gonna tell Steve.” Mike grumbled.
Dustin stroked an imaginary beard. The fog of mystery only grew thicker and thicker.
“His secret girlfriend.” Mike said, like a little know it all.
Steve just huffed a, sure.
“I bet she’s like, some badass metal chick.” Mike said reverently, looking out the window. “She probably has like face piercings and crazy dyed hair. Or like a shaved head or something cool like that.”
Dustin sighed. She probably was badass. Way cooler than they were. Way too cool to bring around the dork squad.
“Does that sound like anyone you’ve seen around here?” Lucas said skeptically.
“Yeah, I dunno. Gareth said he was into like… suburban moms.” Dustin grimaced.
“Excuse me?” Steve sputtered.
Will made a disgusted noise.
“I know.” Dustin shivered.
“Better watch out for your mom then.” Lucas snickered. Dustin shot him a dirty look.
“Yeah, no way.” Mike shook his head. “He had to be messing with you or something. Eddie probably has like, groupies and stuff.”
“Please. That man has no game.” Lucas said. Steve snorted but played it off like a cough.
“That man runs the game.” Dustin said defensively.
“You know that’s not what that means.” Lucas said.
“The real question is, how long has this little dalliance been going on for?” Dustin pondered.
“Hey, you nosey little twerps. I really don’t think this is like, any of your business.”
“At least a few weeks right?” Lucas spoke up.
“And how do you know that?” Mike said.
“Cause that’s how long it’s been that Eddie’s been using the phrase ‘busy’ to get out of stuff. I mean he’s a jobless, drug peddling hobo, I don’t think I’ve seen Eddie be busy like, ever.” Lucas said, scratching his chin. “Until a few weeks ago that is.”
Dustin grinned widely. “It’s elementary, my dear Watson.”
“It’s invasive is what it is.” Steve grumbled. “Also, he’s not a hobo. He has a house.”
“Well, I guess, technically it’s a trailer.” Will said, rather pedantically.
“Well, it’s got four walls. And he lives inside them. Ergo…”
“He’s also been a lot nicer.” Will said thoughtfully.
“Huh?” Dustin and Steve said, and looked at him in unison.
“The last couple weeks, don’t you think?” Will said, smiling faintly. “He’s been nicer than usual. Or happier. I guess.”
“I guess.” Dustin said.
“You think?” Steve said.
“Okay,” Dustin should have a houndstooth cap and a pipe. “We have our timeline. Now, we need to root out suspects.”
“Alright, this, whatever this is, stops here. You nosey little twerps need to mind your own business.”
“But - “
“I don’t want to hear it. No buts.”
And that was the end of that. For now at least.
Tag List : @reading-archieves @homoerotictangerine @bingbongsupremacy @aroseandherthorns @wheneverfeasible @travelingtwentysomething @ineffable-monster-romancer @laughingphantoms @gregre369
(Stayed tuned for emotional immaturity! Reply to be added to the tag list!)
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Wasn’t going to go on a big rant but you know what since that other post is gaining traction yeah I think I will. So big long rant under the cut. Lolll
I feel like. A lot of people might tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ but to me it is that deep.
I don’t have a problem with JayVik or it’s shippers like. At all. I just think some of them are à really good demonstration of like. Every bad thing when it comes to fandom ever LMAO.
Once again I am (supposed to be) writing a whole big long essay about this already so I will try and keep this kind of short and sweet and it might be a bit lacking but wtvr.
I think a lot of JayVik fans tend to be white queer people. Someone left a tag on my OG post that said basically ‘my take is I’m a faggot and I don’t have to care about a character if I don’t want to’ and no hate to that person cuz you’re right, but this is exactly the kind of stuff that made me make that first post.
I feel like a lot of white queer people have an issue with seeing outside their own identity? If that makes sense? This is seen time and time again with the way some of them behave when big movements happen online, some have a tendency to centre themselves and whatnot so i think it’s kind of the same thing.
It makes total sense that a queer person would prefer queer ships and would prefer JayVik over MelJay, that is not a crime. But I do think part of that is because they can’t relate/identify with Mel or see themselves in her like they can with Jayce or Viktor.
I hate to also make it about feminism but i think a lot of you guys are super like. Male centred, like just in your attraction which once again, not the issue not a crime. But i think it’s also why CaitVi, which is a canon queer ship, although popular is still not quite as popular as JayVik despite being canon. Women fetishizing gay men in fandom is not something new, which I think might play a small part in it- I’ve seen a lot of people especially back in s1 infantilizing Viktor and acting like he had no agency or independence and that he NEEDS Jayce to take care of him (that’s another thing. Ableism(looks at you with my eyes)) and they also do the same thing with Jayce where they act like he had 0 agency with any decisions he makes and that he’s like a big dumb baby who doesn’t know anything politics. Hey, guys. That’s a grown man.
My main issue isn’t that people prefer JayVik over MelJay it’s just that some shippers demonize Mel to an insane degree, blame her for getting in the way of their ship (this is also happening right now with Maddie- there’s a leak going around saying that she gets with Caitlyn and people are so upset that this character is getting some INSANE hate and I feel like that’s the same thing going on.)
they blame her for ‘stealing’ Jayce etc etc like. Idk. You don’t have to ship MelJay but I wish more people would appreciate Mel just as a character- imo she is super interesting and has a great story but she’s only ever seen and ‘the other woman’. I’ve seen people say she isn’t like, well characterized and that her story entirely revolves around Jayce which. Yeah she’s definitely heavily involved with him in s1 but she’s clearly got a lot more going on than just that and you would know that if you GAF 🗣️🗣️
for just being. Who she is. I think Mel deserves more attention just in the fandom and it’s just frustrating. People making memes about Jayce going insane over Viktor leaving but like. Mel also just got fucking kidnapped guys. His lover has just vanished without a trace why is nobody also talking about that !!!! Why can’t he care about both these people at the same time !!!!!!!
Anyway I’m not nearly well equipped enough to talk more in-depth about like. Any of this but I do think the demonization of Mel and refusal to see her relationship with Jayce as it is can often times be boiled down to racism like straight up. And also things like the fetishization of gay men in fandom and just things like that are sometimes what can lead to female characters- even the well written ones to be shelved and pushed aside in favour of their male counterparts.
Obligatory ‘not all JayVik fans’ obviously a lot of you are awesome, shouldn’t have to say this. If I’m not aiming for you, you shouldn’t be getting shot.
#hope this doesn’t ruffle up too many feathers eek#I was scared to make the first post I was worried JayVik fans would come at me#also idgaf about whatever was going on in league that lore has been retconned again and again and again#and as far as I’m aware Viktor and Jayce didn’t even like eachother that much#league and arcane are very much separate identities#I’m p sure theyr changing the league lore to match wtvr is going on in arcane#if you prefer JayVik because it’s always been a thing that’s fine but that doesn’t excuse the mistreatment of a black female character#Y’know?#idk#nobody kill me for this#arcane#arcane spoilers#MelJay#Mel Medarda#jayce talis#I won balls
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COUGH COUGH
Guilty.. for loving someone so different and yet the same. For thinking about that plane ride. Thinking about the late nights when he would pop his head under, talking to him from the top bunk.
“Hey Howlett, You want a bite? I stole it from Mr. Claws over there.” He said, with the biggest, kindest smile, one side bigger than the other. Reaching his hand down, it held what looked like a sweet roll.
“Do you have a death wish?” He had growled back then, his arms behind his head.
The upside down man just laughed, shrugging. “Ha! Don't we all? Oh shit- here he comes - Shh!”
That night, he remembered thinking that Wade might understand him. The only difference between those funny grins now was that this Wade had blue eyes and soft crow feet, a bigger crease in his face from how much he's smiled in this life.. something the gentle chocolate lab of his universe's Wade never got to experience..
"You! What did I say about taking my shit!?" His brother growled, trying to drag the man off of the bunk only for Wade to have such an excited glint in his eyes. Like he thought this was all a game at camp or something..
"Wooh! Watch out! kitty's got claws! And he's PISSED!" He announced, loud enough for Stryker to shout at them to settle down for bed and scold Wade, telling him to knock it off or he'd let Victor maul him.
"You heard him... Let him go, Vic." He muttered. "You don't even like those things."
"That's not the point, and you know it. He knows what he's doing." His brother snarled towards the bunk.
"Leave him, or you'll piss off the colonel.." He says in return, the lights being shut off by now. He hears him growl under his breath, walking away with his claws clentched into his fist.
Closing his eyes, Logan was only met with the little shits tags danging over the edge with such a shit eating grin. "Aye, thanks for defending me, back there."
By now, his own growls left his throat. "I didn't do shit, Wilson, now go the fuck to bed before I kill you myself."
"Awww, you love me too much for that, and you know it." He teased.
Logan snorts. "Tch. Yeah, right.."
Pulling himself back up, he was quick to lay down, finally still and silent.. but never for long.
"Night, Logan.."
He whispered. And right then and there Logan should have known not to walk away. He should have known to stay. He should have said goodnight..
He could have snitched on him that night. Let Victor slice him up. Maybe he didn't because he just didn't want to deal with it, but.. maybe it was fondness.
A fondness that he didn't bother chasing.. one he walked away from. Just like everything else..
COUGH COUGH
Aw damn it, I coughed up the complicated feeling of regret and second chances regarding worst wolvies affections for orgins wade!
Dag nab it! Not again!
#orgins poolverine#orgins wolverine#wolverine x men#x men origins: wolverine#snippet#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#deadpool 3#wolverine#deadclaws#victor creed#team x#william stryker
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Is It Over Now...? Part 3
Pairing: Toxic!Mattheo x fem!Reader
Hogwarts University!AU
Warnings: cursing, mentions of substance use (alcohol and marijuana), cheating
Part 1 Part 2
[[AN: I deeply apologize for the long wait for part three. To spare you the details... life got really busy. 😬 I'm not sure what the timeline is going to be for part 4 so if you're interested please let me know and I will add ur username to the tag list. As always, thank you for the love and support and feedback is appreciated. 💗��]]
🎶 You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor 🎶
"That prick!" Ginny growled. She had just woken up and her hair was a tangled mess atop her head.
"I'm so stupid." You mumble again. Your eyes are glossy and unfocused as you stare at the ground in front of you.
"Hey, look at me." Daphne snaps, she places her hands on both your shoulders and forces you to meet her icy gaze.
"You are not stupid. He is the stupid one for not realizing how good he had it. He's going to regret this."
Your eyes water a bit at her words and you blink away tears.
"I could key his car." Ginny offers, a sly smile on her face.
Hermione glares at the redhead, "Ginny, no."
"Oh c'mon Mione." She complains. "Stupid prick deserves even worse." She grumbles, rolling her eyes.
Through your tears you snort softly at your friend's fiery passion.
"I just want to crawl into a hole and die." You muttered. You rested your chin on your knees and hugged your legs tightly. "I can't bear to see his stupid face anytime soon." Involuntary tears resurfaced in the corners of your eyes.
"Well surely you're going to confront him?" Pansy furrows her eye brows at you.
"What part of I don't want to see him wasn't clear?"
"Yeah let's go give him a piece of our mind." Ginny punches her fist into the palm of her hand and her grin is wicked.
Tears quietly slip down your cheeks. "I don't think I can do it." You voice is comes out in an unsteady whisper. "I'm not strong enough."
A soft hand rests on your shoulder and you tilt your head and your teary eyes meet Luna's big blue ones. Her gaze is full of a quiet understanding. "Whatever you choose to do, we will be behind you."
You sniff, the tears flowing more freely now but the corner of your lips tugs into a smile. You nod.
"Even if you don't confront him, I have some choice words for him. Like first of all, how DARE he?" Ginny rants.
This does elicit a soft snort from you. You wipe your tears on your sleeve. "Maybe you're right. That asshole is the stupid one." The icy cold blood running through your veins begins to warm. "I was the PERFECT girlfriend and, what? That still wasn't enough for him? Fuck him." You spat.
"Thatta girl." Pansy gives you a smug look.
You climb to your feet, balling your fists at your side. "When I see him, I.." The warm coals of your angry flame have been coaxed into a fire, now burning bright.
"Maybe you should brush your teeth first?" Hermione offers, gesturing to the fact that you are still in your pajamas.
"Oh, right."
•••
You stalk across the lawn from the girls to the boys dormatories. The common area is mainly empty. Most students were likely sleeping or out getting something to eat. A few small groups of male students sat scattered around conversating. You scan their faces and find that your target is not present, but a familiar face spots your group as they enter.
Draco Malfoy sits in an armchair, peering over the top of a book. He quirks his eyebrow as the murderous parade approaches.
"We are in no mood for your bullshit today Malfoy" Pansy snears, scowling at the boy. He closes his book, placing it down on the table, and holds his hands up defensively. You continue marching forward, barely registering the exchange as your anger is focused on only a single target at the moment. As the group of girls stalks past, Draco quietly slips out of his chair and follows behind. He was never one to miss a dramatic episode unfolding.
You march up to the door, banging your fist against the wood. "Mattheo Riddle you open this door right now." You shout.
Quietly, the other boys peek out of their rooms, seeking the source of the commotion. Mattheo didn't need to guess why you were there. He already knew. And, as much as he wanted to sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened, there was no more pretending.
When Mattheo opens the door his looks disheveled. His curly hair is mess and his eyes look sunken and dark.
Your eyes are angry and fiery, and your face is twisted into a scowl. You inhale and Mattheo braces himself for impact.
"What the fuck!? What in the actual fuck?!" You yelled, not caring that you had likely woke the entire boys dormitory.
"[Y/N]..."
"You lying traitor!" You spat, voice filled with poison and rage. Seeing his face made you more furious. "Never do anything to hurt me, huh? That's fucking rich. Fuck you, Mattheo Riddle." Your fists clenched hard at your sides.
"[Y/N] wait..." His voice trembled and you had never seen Mattheo cry, but damn if he didn't look close to tears. "I- I don't know what happened. It's just like I- like I just lose control of myself." He looks at you with sad eyes. You feel your stomach turn sour. "It won't happen again. Please- please, you have to believe me. Never again."
"No, Mattheo, don't you get it? That was your second, and only chance, and you fucked it up. It's over now." As the words left your lips your heart burned, begging you to recant them.
"Just listen to me please." His voice was strained but grew louder as he spoke. "Listen to me, dammit. That's not who I am. You know me, [Y/N]. Blame it on the alcohol, the weed, just please, please. I love you."
Your group of friends stood in the background, quietly watching the train wreck unfolding, unable to avert their gaze from the disaster laid before them.
"It's. Over. Now. Mattheo." You spoke through gritted teeth, and with that you stomped off angrily; hot, wet tears flowing freely down your cheeks.
Without a word, the army of girls that had accompanied you followed behind. The other slytherin boys just stood there, varying degrees of shock and confusion on their faces before they retreated from the scene of the crime, leaving Mattheo all alone in the hallway.
Part 4 is coming... eventually...
Comment if your interested in being added to the tag list for a reminder when the series continues! Thank you for the love and support! 💗
Taglist 💜: @nat1221 @hoeforvinniehackerrr @rorysbrainrot @leviosatothestars @themoodyteen @misamericana1 @theodorenottswifeyy @nayveetbhh
#slytherin boys#theodore nott#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x reader#harry potter universe#spotify#Spotify
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to teach a captain - part 2 (luffy x reader 18+ fanfic)
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7
rating: 18+ explicit, minors do not interact!
tags: pwp, nsfw, smut, sexual content, masturbation, first times, self discovery, cluelessness, luffy is a curious guy, sub!luffy, dirty talk, "good boy," some praising, reader is a member of the crew, post-time skip, second-hand embarrassment, you will cringe, no use of y/n
A/n: the real spice starts now. I got carried away and wrote like 6k words for this one. Luffy, ur my goat forever. on ao3 here!
words: 6.1k
“Talk to me? About what? I find it hard to believe you would end your time out there just to talk to me.”
Without a beat, Luffy tilts his head. “You didn’t answer my question earlier, and I wanted to know why,” he says, crossing his arms.
“What?” But you didn't need to ask what he meant—you knew exactly what he was talking about—but that didn’t stop your entire body from freezing.
“You had your clothes off, making noise, and had that thing. At first, I thought you were in pain, but then when I came in, you seemed… good. I have no idea what happened.”
You swallow thickly, only looking at the deep brown of Luffy’s eyes. You feel a heavy blush form on your face as you struggle to find any words.
“I’m sorry, Luffy, but I don’t think we should talk about it,” You say. “I don’t think it’s appropriate.”
“What? That’s not fair.” Luffy whines.
“What’s not fair?”
“You were having a good time, and I want to know why. The way you talked… you looked like you were having fun.“
Your body tenses into a rigor mortis level of shock.
“You want to know what you saw?”
He nods adamantly.
“Luffy, how long were you watching?”
He shrugged it off like it was no big deal. “A while.”
You blink. Luffy definitely saw everything then. The feeling of him seeing your bare form pleasuring yourself with no guilt is enough to make your face light on fire. You cuss at yourself for not closing the door like you should’ve.
“How old are you again, Luffy?”
“Uh… 19?”
“That‘s what I thought,” You mumble, sighing so hard you groan. “If you don’t know, I can’t imagine you know other things— anything about…” a pause, “ do you know where babies come from?”
Luffy scratches his chin.
“Isn’t it a giant bird? I think Grandpa told me that once.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’d thought you would say. Okay, we both need to sit down for this one.”
You rustle some stacks of clothing off your bed onto Nami’s bed to the right of you before you sit on the edge of the sheets. Luffy plopped onto the edge beside you, kicking his feet against the bed frame.
“If this were anyone else on the Sunny, I wouldn’t need to think twice about entertaining this,” but of course, it’s Luffy. You sigh. “So, we can talk about it, but no relaying ANYTHING about this to the crew, got it? This conversation cannot get to them.”
Another shrug. “Sure, that’s fine.”
You sigh and rub your face, watching Luffy through your fingers for a moment before sliding them down and crossing your arms.
“You can ask away then.”
Luffy perks up and grins. His mind was off to the races.
“What was that noise you were making?”
How you painfully grimace at the first question tells you how much you’ll enjoy this conversation.
“Well, that’s what happens when you, uh, when people do what I was doing?” Your voice turns into a question by accident. If this was anyone else but Luffy, you would’ve tapped out here, but you know Luffy would never let you hear the end of it.
Luffy hums, reflecting on your answer.
“What were you doing?”
Yep, we are going there.
“Uh, I was making myself… feel good. It’s called masturbating, or…pleasuring oneself.” You cringe at the informative tone in your voice as you mull it over. “Like you said.”
“What were you using?”
“Using? What do you mean—” Before Luffy answers your question, you realize he meant your dildo. “Oh, it was… a tool.”
“A tool? Like, to help fight?”
“No, it’s to help me feel good. It’s called a toy.”
Luffy looks around the room.
”Do other people need that?”
“For what?”
He briefly thinks about the question, scratching his head like the words are right there.
“If they want to feel like that too.”
“Hardly,” you snort. “Guys never have it that rough; usually, hands work fine. Women may. It just depends on whether they need some extra help.”
As far as you know, you recall Nami telling the girls she gets her pleasure from men on different islands and usually her hands if we’re stuck on the sea for a while. Robin doesn’t mention her individual sex life, but you’d assume Franky takes care of her whenever she needs a pick-me-up.
”Then why do you need a toy?” Luffy asks.
”Man, Luffy…” You mumble, arms supporting you as you fall back on your bed. “This is a lot for me.”
When you look at him, his pout says it all. You pinch the bridge of your nose with the strength that could knock you out of this nightmare, yet disappointed that you’re still here.
“Okay, okay, fine. Sometimes, during these moments, it’s harder for me to reach the same… conclusion than it is for others, so I need the assistance of a toy to help me. I don’t know much about the others–that’s not really something people talk about to each other.”
Luffy perked up at your last sentence.
“Huh? The others do it, too?”
“Well, maybe. That’s not for me to know.” You say. You try to shrug it off–thinking about it too much will make you want to knock on every door you need to open on the Sunny.
“Why can’t the crew just help you next time?” Luffy asks.
Suddenly, the bed no longer offers support as you sit straight up. You didn’t need to say anything; Luffy saw your concern screaming before you could open your mouth.
“We’re nakama! I would do anything for you guys. The others feel the same.” He says with a smile. Luffy’s words make it seem like the easiest answer, practically beaming at a newfound resolve. It just makes you sink into the mattress more.
“That’s not exactly… something that requires you guys. People don’t usually help each other with this…” You stop before you explain only people who are very close can, but you know Luffy wouldn’t know how close that is unless you explain it.
“Does that mean you won’t tell me how to do it?”
“Tell you?” You ask. Luffy nods, and you only widen your eyes more. “Wait, you want me to tell you how to masturba-“ you clear your throat before finishing, “tell you how ?”
“You said it felt good, right? I wanna know how, then!”
Your captain is a nice guy, giving you a clean, optimistic smile after his words. To him, this is practically like learning a new combat skill–the way he fights for his nakama means he always wants to learn how to get stronger. You guess this is just another skill for him. To you, this obviously crosses intimate boundaries.
You sigh, “You wanna know that bad, huh?”
Luffy nods.
You gaze at Luffy, wondering how you should go about this. You know he’s a loose canon when it comes to anything in the realm of keeping things private. He couldn’t keep Mr. 0 a secret even when their lives depended on it! On top of that, Luffy is the type of guy to pester you about something he’s curious about until he finds out or flatlines. If you tell him no, he could possibly keep asking until everyone on the ship hears about it. Your mouth opens to deny him, but it’s lost on your tongue.
If explaining to him how to please himself is all it is, maybe you can rush him through the steps and have him out the door shortly after. After all, he is seriously uneducated, which may help him in the long run. For what exactly, only God knows. You’re just a girl.
“If it means you keep this all a secret.” You relent, “Promise? Like, really promise. I know you’re horrible at keeping them, but I need you to just this once.”
It makes Luffy perk up, crisscrossing his legs and resting his hands on his ankles. “Promise!” He says with a toothy grin. He’s ready to listen.
“Okay, you know your…penis-“ another cringe, “between your legs?”” You ask, gesturing to his crotch. You have to find a baseline about what he even knows in the first place.
“What, the family jewels?”
Wow, off to a great start.
“… yeah. that’s what a man has with their penis—it’s your version of genitalia—whereas women…. it’s a long story… but I'm sure you saw the difference.”
He nods again, making you groan. You realize he really did see all of your pussy this morning, not to mention in excruciating pleasure. Judging by his face, he doesn’t seem confused as to what you mean when referring to his junk. That at least helps the awkwardness of this.
“Alright, y’know how sometimes you wake up and you’re hard?”
“What do you mean hard?” Luffy blinks.
“Hard means when your dick, or penis, y’know, is hard. When you wake up like that, it’s called ‘morning wood.’” You cringe at yourself again, but less severe.
“Oooohhh, yeah, you mean when it’s hard to pee!” Luffy says.
“Yeah, that’s kinda what I’m talking ab–”
“You mean like this!” Luffy smiles, reaching for his pants. He unbuttons his shorts and pulls the hem of his boxers down.
“W-what the hell are you doing?” You squeak, scrambling around.
By the time you think to turn away, you see Luffy’s hand pop out from his shorts, followed by…
“See?”
His dick is in his hands semi-hard. It’s flush against his fingers, almost the exact same color as his skin, except for a tinge of pink that lightens the more you travel towards the tip. Your eyes bulge out.
“Woah, you’re already hard… that’s surprising.”
“Yeah, it's like this a lot.”
For some reason, his words send a strange spark in you. Of course he has working bodily functions–that makes a lot of sense–but you suppose it surprised you. At first, it seemed like Luffy was completely oblivious, his body included.
“You're very red,” He says, his other hand starts waving in your face, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah, yeah I’m fine,” You say with a nervous laughter. “But you don’t just whip it out like that, man.”
“Oh, sorry, I figured I could since you’re teaching me.”
You look down at his dick still in his hand, except this time, it’s grown to what you guess is his full length. Compared to others you’ve seen in the past, his length is a little smaller. You can’t tell completely without staring it, and you don’t feel like gawking would be that nice.
“It’s fine. We can work on courtesy later, but it’s super important you know about consent. Just know you’re allowed to stop whenever you’re uncomfortable with this, or by me, alright? When you talk about—or do —topics like this, it’s important to know this if you’re overwhelmed or if you don’t like what’s happening, understand? That’s called consent. Are you okay to keep going?”
“Yeah,” He smiles, “so, what do I do now?”
You shift a little, trying to scan the room for literally any answer that would get you out of this situation without your face feeling on fire—at the very least without talking about his penis again—but you cannot find a single reality. There is nothing but the goddamn wall of the girl’s dorm looking back at you.
You hope your face isn’t red anymore, or else you’ll think you’ll die from high blood pressure.
“Okay, go ahead and put your hand on it like this.” You do a hand demonstration, lightly grasping the tips of your fingers together to form a lazy ‘O’ and gesturing for him to do the same. Luffy grips the middle of his shaft on the second attempt after floating his hand around the head.
“Then you’ll want to pump into it a few times.” You pump your hand ring into the air, one that he followed suit around his dick.
His movement is stagnant and uncoordinated, imitating your motions with a waver. His hand shakes in all different directions, making his dick shift like a goddamn joystick. But it’s enough to start stimulating himself.
Slowly, his shaft begins to grow a little more.
And more. And more. And…
…Holy shit.
“Like this?” Luffy asks.
“Y-yeah, Luffy, it’s working,” you say, slack-jawed.
If the “D” in his middle name didn't stand for “dick,” you don’t know what would.
His hand gripped around the base of his shaft is now a fraction of the entire length, whereas previously, it covered everything but the head. Maybe his dick was still flaccid when he took it out. If that��s the case, bro was packing a fucking monster this whole time??
And you realize how much you’ve been staring.
“What now?” Luffy’s voice puts you back to reality.
“Well, there's one more thing that helps.” You get up slowly, your legs trembling a bit. You shake it off and walk off to the side to reach into the confines of your drawer again. What you pull out after rustling through the clothes is the small bottle of lube, almost empty from this morning’s events. You shake the bottle back and forth before popping the top open and reaching for Luffy’s hand. Although he looks at it quizzically, he obliges to give you an outstretched palm when you reach for it. You squirt a quarter-sized amount, which slowly spreads around the surface.
You motion for him to close and open his hand, making him spread the lube to the rest of his palm and fingers. He grimaces at the sight, watching the sticky substance break apart into small strings before separating, but he still looks back at you for more directions.
“Good, okay, go ahead and do what you did earlier.”
He nods, eyes now filled with determination for a newfound purpose. With one hand toying with the fabric on his clothed thigh, the other hand encircles his girth again, now barely touching fingertips as he starts to move up and down the shaft. It doesn’t take long for the lube to spread across his length, leaving small beads that move everytime he glides over them.
“This is feels different. This feels,” He trails off, but you can tell by the fluidity in his arm that the stimulation feels better…
You’re really gawking now. You rip your eyes away and stand up from the bed.
“Well, you keep doing that until, you know… alright, I have to leave, I hope you—”
Luffy whines your name. You feel a hand grab your wrist gently, immediately removing his grasp when you turn around.
“Wait.” Luffy's eyes set on where he touched you, then back to your eyes.
“What is it?” You ask. You look down to see his dick still in his hand, stroking up and down. You swear there’s a pink tinge dusted on the apples of his cheeks.
“I need to know if I’m doing it right!”
“Yeah, Luffy, but God, you want me to watch you while you do it?” You ask.
“Is that such a big deal?” Luffy gives you puppy dog-like eyes, almost offended that you don’t want to look at him. “I thought you said you were gonna help me.” Luffy says sheepishly, lowering his eyebrows.
Obviously, it is a big deal, but he’s so innocent for his own damn good that you can’t even argue with him at this point. He really doesn’t want you to leave, but you’ve wanted to keep his privacy as a top priority. Regardless, you know your say on things won’t get you anywhere, now. You swallow a lump down your throat.
“I guess it’s not.” You sit back next to him.
His feet sit firm on the plush pink carpet, he continues.
“So?” You hear his breath hitch, seeing his lips purse a little. His voice is quiet now. “Am I… doing it right?”
“Yes, you are.” You say. “If you need to, you can also control the pressure by squeezing or loosening your grip, slowing down or speeding up your hand, too.” You do some more motions with your hand, pumping it in the air with different speeds. He nods before focusing on his hand.
He changes his pace, you see his hand lose tension around his member and go slow for a few pumps as he tests the feeling. You watch your captain languidly pump his length back and forth, before he hums his disapproval. You see his hand start to speed up now. Small veins from his hand to his arms start to peak out from the firmness of his grip.
Luffy’s breath hitches again, this time at the change of pace, brows now furrowed a little.
“Okay, how long do I go for?”
“As long as you want to, but usually, there is a good stopping point. You’re trying to cum–uh, climax, which is where it feels the best, but you’ll know when that is when your penis… well you’ll see,” you shift. You hope it’s not too long. Luffy is a guy–a beginner–, so you’ll assume he won’t last long for his first time.
You realize the words sound crude coming out of your mouth, but if you could figure it out by yourself years ago, Luffy can too with a rudimentary explanation. The whole time, Luffy focuses on your words in agog, fully digesting each part. He goes right back to pumping himself with a firm nod.
“That means I’m doing it right?” He asks.
“Yes, Luffy, youre doing it right.”
“Okay.”
You’re limited in what you should say at this point. His vest is unbuttoned, revealing a chest that heaves after each firm thrust of his arm. He’s starting to throw his head back slovenly, the lids of his eyes lowering until they shut tight together. You don’t think you can look at his face anymore. At least without having a deep pool collect in your stomach. This is purely for Luffy and his educational purposes, after all. It’s stupid of you to feel anything more than that.
Your eyes nail to the wall, the very same place you chucked the bottle of lube at when Luffy first found you, trying to stifle the urge to stare. It’s futile, however, all you can hear is the small shallow huffs from the side of you. Luffy notices your sudden disassociation, however.
“You can keep looking.” He says quietly.
“R-right.”
You look down at his hand, which moved from the shorts on his thigh to the mess of the sheets between you two. There are the veins on his skin you only see when he’s fighting, popping out from his forearms to the back of his hand.
One particular pump makes him whimper loudly, whipping his head back more and parting his lips. Then another, one that makes the whiny groan in his throat linger in the air, until his legs dart wider apart, clacking his knee against yours. The quick force of it makes you jump in your skin, letting out a squeak that snaps his head forward. His brown eyes search for you, darting between you irises with low lids.
Something strange has been setting you off.
With you specifically. You squirm in your place on the bed, only a few inches from your captain jacking himself off, feeling his pleasure so well, so vocally , and now looking at you with the eyes he has after being starved and seeing a feast. Dark, enticing, needy hues, but this time, so aroused . The musk from his body is so—
“Hey,” Luffy calls out your name again. His voice has a waver in it now, a sound not lost on you, and one that is dripping more with the feeling of desire, of lust , that you certainly detect. The entire time you’ve known Luffy, you’ve never heard his voice have such a neediness in it. You never would’ve guessed it was possible. Your thighs shift together subconsciously, creating some space between your once-grazing legs.
“Am I doing it good?” He whines again. Its so breathless, so lovely. That voice so coaxed with fervor. Each word lingers a little bit more in the air the more he speaks, making your face hot and body hotter.
“Yes. Yes Luffy, you are.” You whisper. “Do you feel good?” A small sound comes out of Luffy’s mouth after your words come out. It’s almost like a hiccup, one that erupt throughout his body as his hips jut forward.
“I, think so,” He says, he looks all over your body, “Yeah, I do feel good.”
Your breath hitches. There’s a pause that feels like hours have replaced seconds.
“I feel good when you say that,” Luffy whines. “I think.”
Your chest swells as you look into his eyes. You see they’re staring right back at your face, looking at each individual feature like it’s the first time he’s seen you. Like, really seeing you.
“What do you mean, Luffy?”
“When you tell me I'm doing a good job. Hahh ,” Luffy moans. You see his eyes dart to your lips which you didn’t realize until now that your biting between your teeth. “Am I still doing it?”
“Yes, Luffy, so, so good.”
Is it wrong for you to enjoy seeing this? His hand palms the sheets more, head whipped back again from firm, languid pumps to his dick, and he’s whining from it now. He sounds so desperate for release, so welcoming for every tinge of pleasure he receives from himself that builds up more towards an awaited ecstasy.
His head lazily tilts towards you, his eyes open and on you, drinking up the very essence of you.
It almost feels like you’re naked.
“Please...” He mewls out, which commands your attention from whatever haze it’s in.
“‘Please’ what, Luffy?” Your voice is a thin veil of what it was prior, with an airy breath that crashes with the impermeable heat radiating from his body.
“I don’t- mmph!-“ Another delectable whine escapes his lips. He continues, “I don’t know, just–ahh, please – “
The hand previously entangled in the sheets finds purchase on your shoulder, his needy fist grasping the strap of your tank top. The abrupt move causes your stance to falter due to his inadvertently tugging you down closer. Your eyes are level now, with your noses just a hair from touching. Your hands land on his thighs, and Luffy’s pace falters while his breath hitches at your touch.
Luffy stares at you, and your senses are overwhelmed; His brown eyes seem to swallow your closest features, the hot breaths and hiccups that escape his mouth ghost upon your lips, and the downright filthy sounds his lubed hand makes against his cock have you reeling. He never takes his eyes off of you, even as his expression shifts to desperation and his whines evolve into needy whimpers.
“Tell me… mngh that I’m doing good, I’m still doing good, yeah?” You notice his fingers flex in the grasp he has on you. For a brief moment, you wonder how it would feel to have even one of those thick fingers inside of you.
“You’re doing…so good. You’re so good at touching yourself, Luffy… good boy .” The rational part of your mind is shocked at the words coming out of your mouth, but the way Luffy’s leg twitches and breath wavers at the sound of praise from your lips silences any rationality you may be harboring.
Almost under his breath, he murmurs out a reply whilst his gaze flicks from your eyes to your lips; “Yeah, I’m..” he begins, “...your good–“
Before you can even muster a reply, He whimpers in a voice you never heard, your name wavering on his tongue, instantly stealing your attention and giving you a bellowing heartbeat.
“I feel something.” He says, letting his words faded out with a breathless huff. “Something new , hahh, I don’t…”
“Yeah, I–I know that.”
“What do I… do I do?” His lids are low when he looks at you, pleading for an answer in the colors of your eyes. Your chest feels tight from his small voice, encompassed by a lit flame inside that compels you to speak.
“If you want, please keep going.” You breathe, a horribly devious idea coming to your head. It’s a want to push him further to the edge. “You’re doing so good, Luffy.”
“ Mmmh. ”
You don’t know what’s worse: In the beginning, when Luffy revealed to you and only you his desire when watching you touch yourself, or hear his lustful whines and moans that only elevate because of you. Your voice being the thing your strong captain, with a bounty of countless berries, needs right now. His pleas and wants make you want to see the end of this.
Luffy pants more now, loosened hair clinging to his forehead, tongue peaking out to moisten his lips as his eyes start to squeeze shut. His pace is faster now as he groans in delight, quickly learning a pace and intensity that he needs . It’s an instinct of his he never knew, a yearning programmed in his brain that compels him to stroke his length faster, it’s a yearning you share as you watch thick beads of precum drip out.
It was extremely enticing. His plush lips once encased in smiles now slackjaws in stuttering breaths. His chest is heaving in a way you’ve never seen in his fights—whereas his chest hollows out in deep, robust pillars of breath during a battle, it’s now unsure, uncertain, but so daring to steal another fading breath.
Watching your captain build this unsteady breathing tempo, the way his arm juts around as his eyes languidly blink, and most of all, the way his hand grips and pumps onto himself. You can see from his jutting hips and louder huffs that he’s close, and you can practically see his way to climax. But you know something is very off.
As his arm starts to shake a little more each time, just as Luffy mewls his loudest, starting to hitch his breath, starting to garble unintelligible things, closer and closer to a sweet release. Suddenly, he releases the grip from your shoulder, fingers unclench as it wavers, flinching up and down in the air. In an instant, he grabs onto your plush thigh with such strength you do more than flinch. You moan loud. Luffy doesn’t notice your voice, though; he’s too preoccupied with the fireworks that are going off in his head.
That’s when you register what’s wrong.
You hear knocks on the deck above you. It’s footsteps of people.
It’s the crew.
Your uneven breathing once aroused and whining from Luffy is now panicked in fear. You look to him; he’s so close now you can see his lids flutter.
There’s no way they won't hear him. You huff against him, seeing him teeter, hand gripping on you, moving closer and closer to your crotch. You decide to do something you didn’t think twice about until you moved in towards Luffy.
“ I, I’m …— mmf! ” Luffy pants, but is swiftly cut off by you. Your lips bury themselves against his, so rugged and rough that Luffy’s eyes widen against it. Your hand latches on to the side of his head, intertwining the fingers with his black hair as you push into him. You feel his whole body jolt, going so stiff except for his rapidly moving arm until it suddenly stops.
Luffy moans against your lips, pushing against you so hard you feel the vibration of his vocal chords. His lids lower, eyes unfocused as he starts to helplessly whimper into your mouth.
You feel small, warm ropes of liquid sputter onto your arm, your shirt, reaching all the way to his neck as he whines again and again. All tries to moan his orgasm are stiffle by your mouth against his, the sounds muffling enough that you know they won’t hear.
You move you lips away, seeing a small string of saliva before it quickly breaks, and you realize how fast you need to act before the crew comes.
When his moans are replaced with breathy huffs, and his hands lay comatose at his sides. You spring into action. Your shirt is already covered in ropes of cum, so it’s the first thing you decide to change. You rip off your shirt, revealing your chest to Luffy right next to you. You cover your hand with the fabric and wipe down the cum on your arm in one fluid motion. You rub the stain off of your neck. Luffy’s body follows suit. A frantic apology leaves your lips as you clean his chest, arm, and hand with your shirt. You toss it, immediately grabbing for a clean shirt from the neglected pile of laundry. Once its shimmied on, you whip to Luffy, another apology as you lift the hem of his boxers, trapping his half-hard member inside before hiking his boxers and shorts back up, buttoning and zipping up the fly with speed that Luffy doesn’t say anything.
In Luffy’s daze, you rush him out of the girls’ room to the hallway. You straighten his back out, make sure all of his clothes are straight on him, and try to act as normal as possible. Normal like you didn’t just teach your captain how to jack off. Or kiss him.
Almost on cue, some of the crew appear into the hall. Smiling when they see you and Luffy. All except Ussop, who immediately clamors to Luffy as soon as he registers him.
“You!” Ussop points to him, stomping over to Luffy with a vengeance. “Where the hell were you? I was looking for you everywhere, man!”
Luffy just looks at him, partially confused, partially still in a post-nut delirium.
Ussop is hammering into him something, you honestly aren’t paying attention, as you see the other crewmates walk down. The girls come next, both carrying comically large numbers of shopping bags. Sanji is following them, practically hovering behind them as he asks them about their time. You see a patch of moss-colored hair and some bones too, they wave their salutations before heading to different areas of the ship.
You smile and wave back at everyone, putting on a curt smile.
“So? That doesn’t give you an excuse to ot say anything before you leave. Jeez, what am I gonna do with you.”
Luffy manages to shrug, the larger half of his indifference showing towards Ussop, but you are at least relieved to see he’s starting to use some braincells. Ussop starts to sniff in the air when he catches a whiff of something. He steps towards Luffy.
“Ew, Luffy, you reek like…” Ussop stops, pauses for a second to look at you. You’re only a few feet away from them, but with his puzzled glance it feels like your seeing things through a wide lens. His attention immediately jumps back to Luffy when he breathes in, wrinkling his nose a little as Luffy tries to step back. Ussop doesn’t let him, gripping the front of his shirt. “Dude, you need to take a bath anyway. It’s been way too long.”
“What? No way? I hate that tub, I get all weak and stuff!” Luffy groans. For his last attempt, he pries each finger off of his vest, but Ussop turns to him and jerks both of his hands around the nape of his collar.
“You’re going now!” Ussop shouts, walking away and hauling Luffy with him.
“Nooo. Help me! AHHHH!” Luffy screams, kicking his legs against the floorboards as his hands scramble at his collar. With no luck, Ussop drags him down the hall with immense irritation. It’s honestly surprising how well Ussop can manhandle the captain. They disappears around the corner of the hallway, but not without Ussop giving you a glance and following. The eye he gives you sends a chill down your spine. Does he know what happened?
Oh God.
You attention is immediately stolen as a mop of blonde hair whisks you around to face his figure. The cook takes your hands in his so gently.
“Ah, mademoiselle, I hope you’re doing alright.” Sanji kisses your hand. “Was it alright being on the ship by yourself?”
“Yeah! Um, it was, uh… things were okay, I guess.” You spit out. In your mind, you curse yourself for sounding so obviously not okay, but it doesn’t seem like Sanji notices.
“Ahh, if only I hadn’t promised Luffy to take him to that restaurant, I would’ve spent it with you.” He cooes. “That idiot captain barely stayed with us before he disappeared to wherever God knows. I wasted my time instead of pampering a delicate lady.”
So he really did sneak away. was it really all because of you?
“Oh, I see, maybe next time.” You plaster on a not-so-convincing smile, but it was just enough for Sanji, as he let go off you and instantly ran towards Nami, who was walking towards you too.
It seems that Sanji had flailed his arms wide open to try and embrace Nami before he was promptly shut down by Nami’s right hook. He falls head first on the floor.
“Hey girl!” Nami says, entirely ignoring Sanji’s limp body as she steps over him, as ruthless as ever. “I got you some things.” She smiles, rustling through her loads of bags in hand.
A humongous gift bag with pretty tissue paper poking out of the edges is put in your hands, you look at her quizzically.
“Thanks, Nami! But what’s with the fancy bag?” You ask. When you take it, your arm almost gives out from the sheer weight of the contents. What the hell is in here? You think.
“Just a little something I think you should have,” she wries. Nami has one of those grins on; the one where you know she’s up to mischief. “Tell me how you like them,” She says before scampering off, almost stepping on Sanji’s twitching body in the process.
Robin comes up behind you and giggles. “She said you need a wardrobe change soon when we start shopping. I couldn’t stop her.” She smiles, now hold up a small bag of her own from a slew of other ones she had. “Here, take this.”
“Aw thanks!”
“No problem, it’s just what you asked for, by the way.” She winks, before also walking around you.
You hear the hinges creak behind you, meaning she’s opening the door to the girls’ dorm. Robin’s footsteps stop, making your heart drop to the goddamn floor.
“You seemed to be busy in here.”
You turn around, remembering the state you left the room in. The girls’ clothes that were once neatly stacked on your bed are either knocked over, greatly disheveled or both. Robin looks back at you with minor confusion.
“Oh!” Your voice cracks as you shimmy past her figure in the doorway, rushing back to the bedside. “About that. The ship was… rocky earlier.”
“At dock?” She asks with her usual soft smile, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, um. I’ll fix it up, sorry for the mess.” You look down at the edge of the sheets, now noticing the small beads of bodily fluids from earlier. You quickly fold over the wrinkles formed on the sheet to cover it up. Robin’s on the other side of the room at this point, setting down the bags and sorting through them.
“I don’t mind it at all. Just make sure Nami doesn’t see her clothes on the floor. I don’t think I can help you there.” Robin giggles.
You look between you and Nami’s bed, seeing a pile of her baby tees toppled off the bed and lay unfolded on the floor. You yank it back onto the bed immediately.
“Right.” You say. Jesus, how much sweat is on your face at this point. From how wildly embarrassed you’ve reacted, she must think something is up.
Thankfully, Robin seems to have not noticed, or at least dropped the subject. She’s now in the corner of the room. Taking the things out her and Nami’s bags and hanging them up on the closet while she hums a soft tune.
“Cute shirt, too.” Robin softly says.
In horror, you look down, realizing the shirt you threw on was Robin’s old Galley-La shirt.
“Thanks.” You stammer.
Robin is almost a decade older than you. She’s in a relationship, and you hoping to God she doesn’t realize what you’ve been up to. Ussop’s questioning glance towards you tells you they both noticed something. Your heartbeat was frantic now.
You excuse yourself as you slip yourself out of the girls’ room, frantically scurrying to the deck. You need some fresh air. Now.
At the deck's side railing, your feet brush on top of the soft bed of grass of the Sunny. You watch the waves brush up against the hull, gently lapping up against the wood before dispersing into the air. Tashini's shoreline is only a few yards away, greeting each ebb and flow of seawater.
You take a deep breath of the night air, releasing it with a languid sigh. Your hands have stopped shaking at least, but a feeling of morose still creeps into the back of your mind. Your heart beats at a regular tempo but with an echo that confuses you. You take a deep breath again.
You should probably change out of Robin's shirt now.
#x reader#fanfic#fem reader#reader insert#ao3 fanfic#my fanfic#one piece#monkey d luffy#luffy x reader#monkey d. luffy#luffy#one piece luffy#straw hat luffy#one piece fanfiction#one piece smut#monkey d. luffy x you#monkey d. luffy x reader#luffy smut#smut
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A quick story of my most recent experience about how this image literally JUST repeats itself infinitely.
Long time ago I read this cool Kazuha smut where he was drunk and was absolutely in-love with reader’s pussy. Ok, right? Yeah, it was fine with me, that’s why I opened the comments to leave my own opinion and read others’ too, until I found this person questioning the validity of that fanfiction, arguing that Kazuha couldn’t have consented because he was drunk.
Totally fine argument… if we were talking about a non/dub-con fic or a real actuation.
The fanfiction was literally just Kazuha praising reader over and over. The tags didn’t imply assault, the fic didn’t imply it too. It was just fluff. The author even argued that they never had the intention of making an assault fic too. After all, I personally didn’t see anything malicious in it until this person pointed, and you probably didn’t see it too until I mentioned it.
I responded that person and we begun arguing because she got mad at me when I said drunk people can still make conscious (or good) choices in the early stages of being drunk, but that person (who I later found out to be a minor, which explains her lack of experience) just… told me this in response:
Yes, an accusation of me being a potential assaulter because I defended an author.
If it isn’t enough that she’s treating Kazuha like a real person who genuinely went through a traumatic experience, she also treated me like a fictional character. How, you may ask? By straight ironizing with what would be a scenario of me being assaulted.
It is soooo disgusting that people go this far to defend a fictional character but also so interesting to see how that tweet above is so… real.
We basically went over and over the argument and they eventually got mad enough and blocked me because they couldn’t understand what I was trying to tell them the entire time.
I couldn’t print it but they also mentioned that the person liking it doesn’t make less abusive but personally (and probably you too) I’ve never seen a victim of assault treat their experiences like it wasn’t a trauma or something that they liked, like “Yeah I was drunk and he abused me but I was ok with it but I reported them to the police.” Like no? There are so many more layers in assault, consent is just the tip of the iceberg.
People like this are soooo funny to watch. They try making a point about assault, but minutes later are ironizing with what would be a scenario of it just because she doesn’t like the person she’s arguing with.
Remember! You can’t solve war with more war, folks!
And to clarify myself in case my argument isn’t really clear, I don’t think having sex with drunk is overall something “ok”. I personally wouldn’t do it with anyone unless I was drunk too and I think it might be a red flag depending on the situation and person, but that fanfiction was literally the fluffiest thing ever and I never said anything harmful to that person that could’ve triggered them into saying those to me (nor did I say anything harmful back to them after it). I don’t think it’s anywhere ok to ironize with someone’s possible experience of assault at any point of an argument. It is genuinely dehumanizing and in this case it was literally useless because Kazuha is totally ok.
Anyway, the author already deleted it all and thanked me for trying to reason with that person, so you can’t go and look at it yourself, but I had to share this somewhere, it was just too funny lol. 😭
Hope this feels like a lecture or a funny story too in a way.
See you soon ❤️
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here let me give you a tldr
Recurrent suicidal ideation or self harm.
duh. it's dazai
Chronic feelings of emptiness.
duh. it's dazai
^ can you believe i wrote like 2 whole pages abt these 2 points alone in my doc. incredible
(1) Markedly disturbed sense of identity and (2) distorted self-image.
1. the name of his ability is "no longer human" (more accurate translation is "disqualified from being human") i don't think it's that big of a stretch to say he has Issues™ with his identity (also given how he practically changes his personality and behavior in often extreme ways for the people around him . yeah)
2. girl he is literally always covered in bandages (i can't say that's the reason but given we don't have any other one. no harm in theorizing when it helps my very serious and important tumblr post)
Impulsive or reckless behaviors (e.g., impulsive or uncontrollable spending, unsafe sex, substance use disorders, reckless driving, binge eating).
duh. it's dazai
fr tho i can't say this for certain (esp the "impulsive" part) but. one of the first times we see him - at least in the anime - is when he's high (i don't think i need to explain why his suicide attempts are bogus, i doubt this wasn't on purpose). we see him drink relatively often, esp compared to other characters, and his likes literally list "alcohol". also, these shots from his dorm from when he avoided going back to work after being kidnapped, supposedly not more than a few days really:
i will say tho. mad respect for only eating one thing. autistic king also
(edit: actually from my own experience + other ppl with bpd i met most of us have sensory issues - it's not a symptom, more like a very common thing - so it might even be a part of that!)
Transient, stress-related paranoid or severe dissociative symptoms.
i can't say anything abt dissociation, but his paranoia is def there even if he's relatively subtle about it lol. having 300 backup plans for anything your enemy can pull isn't normal. setting up traps preparing for a possible fight or disaster (see: the entire guild arc) isn't normal. no one else in the ada does that. even when we see him making strategies with ranpo, he's the one thinking up options and possibilities - he is on constant high alert and prepared to be attacked. you may say it's for a good reason which is fair i will not lie. but again this is why i bring up the comparison to the other ada members. he is clearly more paranoid and overprepared than they are, this is abnormal
also let me turn you to story's lovely post about what might be re-triggering this thought process for him bc i love this analysis sm 🖤
Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, often characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, also known as "splitting"
god i wish i could find the post where i mentioned this but. imo. that's part of(!!!) his dynamic with chuuya. i feel like esp in their interactions in the current day you can see him zigzagging between commenting on how much he hates chuuya - iirc only as a reaction to chuuya saying the same thing - and then admiring him the next minute, when chuuya isn't there to hear
him getting attached super quickly, telling him he loves him one day after meeting him, that's such a bpd thing lol 😭 i can maybe let it slide bc he was 15 but like . yeah that's not normal even for a 15 y/o. and again immediately switching to being... vitriolic, after chuuya's negative responses, and being obsessed with hurting him later on ("i spent the last 7 years thinking of ways to kill chuuya" or however that quote goes. girl please go on mood stabilizers)
if you've heard the term fp before you might be familiar with this, but tldr it's that person you hold as the one most important to you, the one with your self esteem and general wellbeing in their hands whether they know or not. if they fail to give you attention or validation as you expect, you might respond by attacking them, acting coldly, wanting to hurt them etc. do i need to go on
(i know a lot of people insist that he's just. lying. and that's fair! i personally disagree - yeah he's not 100% honest but imo there is a kernel of truth to his hate. it just doesn't negate the love and attachment that are there as well, and i'd dare even say feeds into them, and one can't exist without the other. also like on a factual level chuuya is in his dislikes list and idk how you'd lie on a meta level like this askljdfgh so this is my offer for WHY he's there, beyond actual meta stuff like the relationship between their irl counterparts)
bonus: for beast dazai that's 100% odasaku. if my fp rejected me this badly i too would throw myself off a building 👍 (fr tho that's also a possible response. not an outward reaction, but an inward one, attacking yourself for their lack of attention or validation)
these are just the ones i have off the top of my head. with hcs and theories you could probably get into the other symptoms as well (esp with beast dazai. he's the biggest bpd icon i've ever seen fr)
hope you enjoyed my slightly unhinged rambling 🫡 have a great day!
me continuing my bpd dazai analysis trying to phrase anything that isn't "dazai has bpd bc i said so" when my brain is as tired and messy as it is right now
i don't have a reaction pic here. imagine me looking frustrated and tired on my computer
#me: here's a tldr / also me: this monster. sorry 😭#actually i'm gonna use some of this as the base for the future parts i didn't get into yet#(aka anything beyond the first 2 😭 and sorta third. bc that's the part i crossed out)#also needless to say if you're gonna be an ableist prick on this post i will block you immediately#long post#dan rambles#yeah. this got long enough to go in that tag i think
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finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0
i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.
'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?
Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33
So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.
Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.
Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.
For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!
She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.
Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.
She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.
She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.
Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.
(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)
(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)
On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."
Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.
He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.
"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.
"Yes, Danyal?"
"What is this?"
"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." She’s transfixed onto the tank, but she doesn’t need to see Clockwork’s face to hear the smile he’s stifling.
The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.
“Clockwork.”
“Ah, I see you’ve dropped formalities.”
She ignores that.
“Why have you given me an adolescent leviathan?”
She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."
Oh.
"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"
Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"
And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him Suhā.
Suhā grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and Suhā swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.
It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.
Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.
Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. Suhā tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.
Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.
A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.
A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.
She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.
She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. Suhā is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.
He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.
And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.
She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.
And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.
It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.
She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.
"Is that her?"
"Her highness' friend? Yes--"
"--that's the one--"
"--Mother of monsters--"
Danny's not sure how to feel about that.
Although, she can't say she's opposed.
Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc prompt#fem danny fenton#fem danyal al ghul#mother of monsters danny#if anyone wants to hear about Layal specifically I'd be HAPPY to tell you about her. she's inspired by the song 'scylla' from epic#you can't leave me with dark danny for too long i give him depth if i do. anyways i gave layal mommy issues. she has a complicated view on#danyal and both loves and hates her in equal measure. she killed her out of mercy. she's her mother her sister her other half.#she despises her. she misses her. she'll never see her again. she sees her every time she looks in the mirror. she's 24. she's 10 years old#can you tell that i made layal during a time where i was thinking about the 'dan is danny's kid' dpdc trope bc that's exactly what happened#*holds dad!clockwork up like potato.* 'i just think he's neat :)'#i am incapable of making things only cracky. i must make it meaningful in some way or another.#MMMM i have to cut it off here before it gets too looooNNGGG.#if this flops i'll be sad :((#i just think the idea that danyal has her own little world on her island is neat. she's got dragons and wyrms and serpents and giant wolves#and griffins and one time there's a sphinx although she doesn't stay permanently. Danyal has a blast answering her riddles though.#that panther is based off the dnd displacer beast. there's little salamanders and gazelles with three eyes. there's more sea monsters than#just suhā and the other two leviathans but i couldnt think of any. im obsessed with the sea serpents if you havent notice LMFAO.#there's pegasi and a manticore and a ton of infinite realms monsters that are just an assortment of animals slapped together#the shades woods are a mega-island idea that i had. they're where a bunch of the “shades ghosts” are from. Its this large forest area with#megaflora trees similar to the redwood forest with canopies so thick and wide that no light can reach the bottom. so all of the native faun#living there have adapted to live in the shadows. there are a few villages that live in tall tree houses like the ewok villages that outsid#ghosts can go visit. the panther that's from there is very fond of danyal honestly. anyways yEAH ANIMAL WHISPERER DANNY.#her beasties are all animals up until she's like. 19. where she promptly steals an infant minotaur from a Legends Islands near Pandora#he wasn't being treated well okay!!! she couldn't stand by and watch. his name is asterion. he's a year old. and she'll kill for him.#i dont have enough tags to talk about Damian or her family >:T. just know that i am leaning into her assassin bg as usual :)
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Shavuli !
She's just. Into rocks. It's fine. She likes to collect shiny rocks. (this is dice related and I am not apologizing for giving her this trait)
#my characters#not me being anxious about what if my buddy doesnt like the blue fae hahahahaha#also you have to realize that it took a lot of energy to refrain from drawing absolutely wild shit bc i played 20mins of an otome#and it was wild and my brand of wild and if i didnt take so much to help me sleep last night i woulda played more#one person got the play by play and its SUCH A trip and i should play more than 20 minutes before drawing for it#but anyway hello this is an oc and i tried so hard with various colors other than yellow but i didnt like the contrast as much#so yellow splashes as a treat#also she is much more rounded bc she isnt intent on being the edgiest fae alive (noll has those honors)#also since i mentioned it while i started doodling her on stream ? its worth noting that the games the fae start#are like extreme tag where they get a human partner roped into their game and then give the humans a nice lil present#which is a weapon but its also the fae themselves#and are like yeah lets go kick butt! and someone in the stream asked if the humans got hurt#and the answer is no ! because the weapons are the fae and the fae dont wanna be hurt so as long as they have fun thats enough#its just an elaborate game of tag with weapons#shavuli becomes a lance if anyone is interested and thats not actually inspired by my buddy i just#think lances are cool and i think my buddy is cool so yeah
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"work wife"???? But not actual wife??
LOL no not actual wife! Both the work wife and I have actual husbands instead 🤭🤭 And my husband is JUST as crazy as I am and WILL do farther daytrips like the absolute insane mans he is! Which is one of the MANY reasons I married him--his weirdness matches my weirdness 💖💖💖💖💖
As a fun fact, the craziest day trip/road trip we have done: we went to IKEA about two ish hours away. Came home, realized upon unloading new bedframe that he had misplaced his wallet somewhere. So what did we do?
WELL IKEA was closed but you bet your ass we got BACK in the car and drove BACK to the pit stop (an hour?? ish?? away??) that VERY night and checked the trash there and asked the people inside (who were sups friendly! They checked the tapes for us and everything!) if they'd seen it. They hadn't! So, we drove BACK home and the next day, after work, we yeeted ourselves into the car and drove BACK to ikea to see if they had it
AND THEY DID!
He was so relieved and then we had IKEA hot dogs for dinner, his treat bc he had his wallet again 🤭🤭🤭 (they are pretty good but costco ones I think deffs are better!)
BUT YEAH. My actual spouse is just as unhinged as I am and I love him about it 😍😍😍😍😍😍
#dani answers#wizardshark#BUT YEAH!#anyway i get that a lot of people are like 'work spouse culture is literally insane and weird' and that is CORRECT#it CAN BE! and rest assured that we are NOT#tbh a good like 30% of our time spent together is gushing about our spouses lol#anyway she's so fucking cool it's not even funny and when i told her that she was like WHAT i am NOT cool YOU'RE cool#and i was like DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG and then friendship lol#she is very cool tho. she calls richard chard#he and i think it's fucking HILARIOUS#she's so cool and talented and i miss her bc we haven't hung out in like WEEKS bc of the horrors (i keep getting SICK)#and also bc her department moved back to the building they were in post-reno. so we didn't lunch as per the usual bc she was busy aF#and she's going on vacay for like two weeks now#she's so sweet too! she got me skin tone markers for my BDAY! i'd mentioned it off hand once or twice and this bitch REMEMBERED#her husbando is also v funny lol. gr8 cook too! and a gossipy little guy which is HILARIOUS bc so is chard lmao#anyway sorry for going off in the tags!! i have been home sick too long and am LOSING IT#if im not well enough for work tomorrow i'm gonna explode. i cant keep doing NOTHING it's driving me BATTY#(but at least I'm feeling better and resting up and such lol)
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEE😭😭😭#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinder☺️)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quick— i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinder😊#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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