#yeah. that’s how i feel about the new hr who i will not meet

[gobbluthbutagirl]

store director said the new hr is starting next week and that she is working monday through friday. guess who is only working saturday and therefore is straight up not gonna meet that woman LMAO

[spenceragnewfics]

HEY EFFIEEE!!!

I just want to start off by saying that I literally love all of your fics so much they are all so well written!! 😍😍

I was wondering if you would be willing to write a Spencer fic where the reader is new to working at smosh and they become fast friends and end up dating and everything?????

So sorry this took so long! Hope it's worth it!

LUCKY | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader

Summary: Y/N, a new employee at Smosh, begins her journey surrounded by welcoming faces. As she settles into her role, she forms a close friendship with Spencer, the director of the gaming channel. Despite frequent speculation from colleagues like Erin about their relationship, Y/N and Spencer insist they're just friends. However, as they collaborate closely and share personal moments, their bond deepens.

Word Count: 1.2k

“And this will be your desk. I’m so excited for you to start here, is there any questions? Did I go too fast on the tour?” Selina asks, her face shining with a friendly smile while looking at the new girl. “No, no, you did amazing. I don’t have any questions currently but I’m sure there will be later.” She says, a curious glint in her eye as she looks around.

“Okay, well, I am very excited to see how well you get along here. Remember, my office isn’t very far away.” Selina reminds her before walking off back to her office. The new girl at Smosh looks around in awe at the office around her, the pod she will be working in is currently empty so she has a moment to just soak everything in.

Sitting at the empty desk, she starts to pull some stuff out of her bag and arrange how she wants it all to look. Her moment of solitude is broken when she hears feet quickly approaching, “Courtney, do you happen to have-” A male voice says but stops when he notices that the blonde isn’t around.

She turns to look over her shoulder and feel her heartbeat pick up, “Oh, hi, um I’m not Courtney…and I don’t think I could help you…but hi.” She says awkwardly, smiling at him. “Uh…yeah, no, don’t worry about it. I’m Spencer. You must be the new girl.” He puts his hand out for her to shake. Their hands intertwine and it feels like a warm hug, “Yeah, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, Spencer” Her hand moves up and down, shaking his before she pulls it away.

“Well, I don’t know how much you know about this place, but I’m the director of the gaming channel, so we might be working together sometime.” He says, of course she knew who he was but she didn’t wanna make him feel like he was bragging. She nodded with a small smile, “Yeah, that sounds super cool,”

Their conversation gets cut off when a female voice breaks through, “Ugh! Spencer! You met the new girl before we did!” A girl with short black hair whines, “Erin, I was just looking for Coutrney, who is right behind you, when I ran into her.” He crosses his arms as the shorter woman sighs, “Whatever, Spence.” She brushes past him and stands in front of Y/N.

“Hi, I’m Erin.” That was the start of her career at Smosh. It didn’t take long for Y/N to meet everyone at Smosh and was soon pulled into the whirlwind of being a reliable member of the team.

This was also the start of her friendship with Spencer. The two worked closely together a lot and spent a lot of hours brainstorming ways to make the gaming channel better. There were several late nights between the two of them with creative meetings and a lot of trips to different conferences that they were sent on.

The two had become very close friends, so close that many people at Smosh thought they were dating. They’d been called to HR a couple of times to sign some paperwork that was standard if co-workers dated but they always denied it, they were only friends.

“Erin, how many times do I have to tell you, Spencer and I are just friends!” Y/N stresses, not taking her eyes of her computer as the girl continues to annoy her. “You can’t keep lying to yourself! You two are meant to be and are just too scared to admit it.” Erin says, fully allowing herself to be the captain of the ship that is Y/N and Spencer.

She shouldn’t be surprised, Erin is a major One Direction fangirl and one of the main things of that is being a hardcore shipper of certain things, so really she should just be used to it at this point. “You can say that all you want, Erin. The fact is that Spencer has not told me he wants to be more than friends. If he ever tells me that, then we will cross that bridge when we get to it.” She explains, her E/C eyes moving off her screen for a second.

“So, you do have feelings for him!” Erin cheers, making the woman across from her roll her eyes. “I am not entertaining this any longer.” She says before getting out of her seat, “You will admit them one day!” Erin yells as she continues to walk away.

Entering the kitchen, she laughs to herself at Erin’s theories. The girl was always thinking of something to keep everyone on their toes, but it’s one of the reasons she’s Y/N’s best friend.

Grabbing a juice from the fridge, she walks over to look at the snacks when someone else walks in. “You’re idea for this week’s games shoot is awesome! I don’t know how I didn’t think it of it before.” Spencer says, walking over to Y/N. She smiles at him as she grabs a bag of pretzels, “Eh, I just scoured the comments the other night and saw a small pattern. It’s not something I would’ve suggested if I didn’t see the fans asking for it.”

He nods and grabs a Kickstart from the fridge before moving to stand next to her. “I heard people talking about Erin having some thoughts with you just a bit ago.” He says, vaguely bringing up what happened and it makes her sigh.

“You know how Erin is, she’s always up to something.” The two laugh before sitting in a comfortable silence for a moment. “What was she going on about this time? I thought we helped her figure out whatever was on her mind last time.” Spencer asks and Y/N feels her cheeks heat up.

“She, um, she was going on about how we secretly have feelings for each other and just need to let it all out.” She looks over at him confused when his breath hitches in his throat. “Everything okay, Spence?” She asks, her eyes becoming soft as she looks at him.

“Yeah, just shocked that Erin would think that.” His voice is shaky as he says it, “You’re lying, Spen. Come on, tell me what’s up.” She gently grabs his arm and he looks at her. “Maybe…maybe Erin’s right. I should just tell you how I feel.”

He walks to be in front of her as she looks at him with a raised brow, “I like you, Y/N. I have since basically the day I met you. You’re sweet, kind, super hardworking, and weirdly smart. You always make me laugh and I don’t think I’ve been able to be myself as much as I have with you.” He says, his hands on her arms.

“Are you serious?” She asks, shocked that he’s saying all this. “Yes, I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I just wanted to-” He stops talking as she puts her lips against his. His hands are still on her arms before he moves them to her waist. “I like you too, I like you a lot, Spence.” She says when she pulls away.

Their eyes are locked as they rest their forehead against each other. “So, do you wanna go out tonight?” He asks, “I’d love to.” She answers before they kiss again. It doesn’t last long as someone walks in and they pull away.

“I knew it!” Erin yells, cheering before running out of the kitchen and screaming “Y/N and Spencer are kissing!” throughout the office.

[blackbat05]

The Gall of HeR!

Evan Buckley x Reader (Gender not Specified)

Plot: You come back home feeling blue from work. Luckily, Buck is there to lend you some support.

Genre: PG-13

A/N: New character! Only started watching 9-1-1 last year but wasn’t in the best back then. It’s been such a huge support to get where I am today so it’s only appropriate to do this! Also I can’t deny this is based on actual experience recently so this is my way of therapy😂 In all seriousness, note to self to always fight for myself because no one will do it for me.

“Hey! I’m home!”

Buck pads out of the kitchen in his “kiss the cook apron” that Eddie gave him as a Christmas Present last year as a joke.

“How’s work?”

I sigh, putting my bag to one side before unceremoniously dumping myself on the couch. “It was good, and then it was bad. Do I make sense?” My nose crinkles in confusion and I at that point I wished that my brain would stop running at a hundred miles per hour. Though, a part of me really needed to vent my feelings in a safe space. Buck was my safe space.

“They approached me for a possible promotion at the Library.” I start and Buck’s eyes lit up. “Yeah, that was my reaction. Inside. I didn’t expect this at all.”

Buck comes to sit beside me on the couch, body angled to face me fully. I take a deep breath and proceeded to explain how I had to ground myself first, to hear more details from HR before committing to that decision.

“So, I had that first meeting with Esther and obviously I needed time to process right? I didn’t understand some points that were raised and I wanted to clarify with her what some things meant to I called a second meeting the next day.” I explained. “The second meeting goes fine. It mostly involved her clarifying my doubts. Then after the meeting, she sends me an email noting all the things we discussed, and guess what?” I find the rage in the pit of my stomach bubbling.

“She adds in the extra clause that initially, they thought of reverting me back into my original position if things didn’t work out. But after considering the company’s position, if I did not perform or if I decided not to continue, I would have to leave the company!” My voice gets higher with each passing second. Buck reaches out to grab my hand, a soothing reminder that I was not in the library reading that darned email but I was here, with him.

“And then, Esther had the gall to storm into the library and yell at me what I meant when I sent that email and now she’s in trouble with the higher ups! My fault? How is expressing my opinions in a professional manner my fault?”

I finish off telling Buck that I wasn’t afraid of taking on the challenge. But my biggest issue was only being informed of this only after my second meeting and when I bought up the possibility of not taking on the role to her.

“Wow.” Buck purses his lips. I look at him reproachfully.

“You think I’m acting up too.”

“No. I think you’re standing up for yourself. No matter what others may say or think. It’s good that you question everything that’s being presented to you least you be taken advantaged.”

“Even if it means they might pass me up on this because they think I’m such a prima donna?”

Buck laughs. “In all seriousness. There are more ways to grow than besides promotions at work. You’re growing as a person and that’s more important. Do what you want to do and always do it for yourself.”

You don’t know what you did to deserve this man in this lifetime. Someone who supported you no matter what. That’s what you really needed right now.

“Thanks Buck,” you threw yourself into him for a hug. “I think I really needed to hear that. After all those times of doubting myself, I really needed to hear it.”

“Hey, you know I’m always your biggest supporter. Now let’s go and have dinner. Bobby taught me how to make this lasagna and we are not about to let it get cold.”

“Gosh, what would I do without you?”

“You’ll never have to know.”

[moonpascal]

what you over here being messy for?

summary: sam misinterprets a text on your phone w: 1.5k pairing: bucky barnes x platonic fem!reader, ben barnes x reader (mentioned) warnings: miscommunication?, probably ooc, migraines, medicine/drug mentioned, fluff, sams nosy ass, pov switches?idk still new to this a/n: very self indulgent and written very fast so possible errors. posting before i second guess myself.

“Sam can you grab my phone from the kitchen, I forgot it but don’t have time myself to get it.” You sighed rubbing the throbbing migraine that’s arrived from this stressful day. One thing after another, paperwork, HR, and planning the upcoming mission. 

“Ooh you have a day tonight?” Sam snaps you out of the daze you're in and give him a questioning look. He slides your phone across the table and the screen lights up from the two-minute warning text 

BB🤍 ‘Can’t wait for tonight love’ 

An unconscious smile creeps onto your face, that Sam mimics, getting giddy as you type away. Forgetting he’s even there for a split second. When he clears his throat, you glance up and slightly cough hiding the smile. “Right yeah I’m excited, but stop reading my messages. I don’t even know how you got access to read my messages,” teasing him, not that it’s a big deal he’s seen it. He smiles before rushing out of the conference room, almost tripping on air. 

Gathering the files making sure each one is the exact same, then placing each one in their designated spot on the table. Glancing at the time, five minutes till the minutes and four hours till date night. You can do this just gotta make it a few more hours you thought. 

——————

Sam nearly felt like Pietro with how fast he ran to find Bucky. Having to congratulate him in person, then punch him for not telling him sooner. Skidding around the corner weaving passed other agents, before he spots Bucky coming out of the elevator. 

“You shithead I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Sam shoved Bucky's arm, who only gave him a puzzling look. 

“What are you on about this time? It’s too early for this” Buck walked past Sam knowing he’ll follow as they all had a briefing in less than a few minutes. 

Sam huffed, “ear- it’s 12:55, don’t change the subject. You finally ask Boss lady out and didn’t tell me!” 

Halting to a stop, Bucky quirks his eyebrow. “Why on earth do you think that?” Buck knows you're in a relationship and two, he doesn’t see you in that aspect, even if everyone thinks he does. It’s honestly a run on joke between you two at this point. 

“Don’t act coy, I've seen her text message from none other than “BB” who else would that be?” 

Bucky chuckles understanding where he got that idea. Deciding to mess with Sam, Barnes just smirks and shrugs, walking passed him into the briefing room. Sam can’t another word in as everyone is there and ready to start. 

———

The whole time you're discussing the plan for the next mission, everyone seems to be giving you smirks or subtle nods. When you face away from them focusing on breach points and surveillance systems, they shift their attention to Bucky giving him the same looks. 

If it was any other day Barnes would’ve rolled his eyes and not entertained them in the slightest. But knowing Sam sent a mass text to the team he knew exactly what those look were, and decided to enjoy it before he makes them feel stupid for listening to Sam. 

“The jet we’ll leave in 2300 hours, meeting adjourned” You turn the screen off and start gathering the mess you created. Slouching in the chair burrow your head in your hands. The lights seem to be the brightest today and every little noise is at max decibel. Honestly feels like a hangover. A gentle hand to your shoulder shook you out of your daze. Wincing at the movement you look up and James towers over you. 

“Anything I can help with?” He whispers crouching down to get a better look. He could instantly tell when you get these, especially so often. 

“Maybe Tylenol? I’ve had food and tons of water. I don’t know why I keep getting these” Groaning as the left of your eye starts throbbing now. 

“It’s because of all the overthinking and stress you put on yourself”

Looking up at him just to glare knowing he’s right. “Lead the way, I need the drugs.” 

James grabs your items before you get the chance, giving you a knowing look not to argue. As if you were in the mood to argue. Just get the medicine and work through the next two and half hours. Should be as right as rain for tonight. The mantra repeated as you let James guide you, ignoring everyone passing by. If you were paying attention, you would’ve noticed the winks and smirks thrown your way. 

What felt like a journey, you were finally at the in house pharmacy -courtesy of Tony, go figure- and James handed you the two Tylenol with their little paper cups. Whispering a quiet thanks, downing it in seconds. 

“Hopefully your headache goes away, wouldn’t want you to be miserable on your date,” the pharmacist smiles at you. 

Scrunching your eyebrows for a second, “huh? Oh, right yeah of course thanks” giving a tight smile to her before starting the trek back to your office. 

“I swear Sam has the loudest mouth, James I love him but nothing is secret with him around” 

Buck put the files on the corner of your desk, chuckling as you rant, saying this was the exact reason she wasn’t telling anyone about Ben. 

“It was bound to happen doll,” he dims the light in the office as you situate yourself grumbling in agreement. “Let me know when you’re gonna head out today, I’ll walk you.” 

“Thank James I appreciate it.” giving the best smile you can manage before going back to the emails piling by the minute. Feels like Jim Carrey in that one movie answering all the never ending emails. 

As time passed the migraine was slowly diminishing, your phone didn’t get the same treatment. A text coming in every few minutes.

Tones: Have fun on your date with Barnes

Nat: Can’t believe you tell me about your date

Wanda: knew it! It was about time

And many more along the same lines. Knowing word spread faster than captain rogers blushing at an innuendo, you couldn’t complain that the cat was finally out of the bag. Glimpsing at the time, smiling that it’s time to head out.  Signing out of your computer and shooting James a quick text that you’re done. 

Heading towards the common room, it seems like the whole team was there. “Bye guys have a good night, see some of you after the mission!”

James enters the room before anyone can bid you farewell and their smiles get bigger as mine did. “Ready to go doll?” 

“Enjoy your date you guys!” Tony teases, earning a slap from Pepper. 

Curiously looking at James, “You have a date? And you didn’t tell me? Who did you ask?” Feigning a hurt look. 

“Apparently it’s you boss lady,” he smiles wrapping his arm around you and squeezing your shoulder.

“What?” beyond confused and not the only one as everyone has an unreadable look. 

“Wait, you're not going on a date with Bucky? But your text said “can’t wait for tonight” sent by BB! Bucky Barnes!” Sam all but exasperated. 

James and you share a look before bursting into tears. Wiping them away before catching your breath. “That was from my boyfriend, Ben Barnes.” 

“Boyfriend!! Since when? And why the hell would his name be his initials in your phone?” Nat added.

“A few months now and I don’t know that just how I put it in when we first started talking. I haven’t had time to change it.” Shrugging as if you didn’t drop a bomb on them. 

“I’m hurt for one, you didn’t tell us and two that it’s not with this Barnes!” Tony huffed, crossing his arms frustrated he didn’t figure this out sooner. All the technology in the world and this slipped away from him. 

“You guys are ridiculous, James and I are friends and if Sam was good as snooping he would've known I don’t call him Bucky ever.” Shoving your phone in Sam’s face, showing ‘James 🧸’ contact in your phone. 

“Well he never corrected me, what was I supposed to think!” Sam throws himself on the couch murmuring how his day is ruined. 

“Because I knew you’d look like an idiot after telling everyone,” Bucky sassed feeling proud of himself, mentally adding a tally mark to his Sam vs Bucky board. Sam flips him off before leaving the room, probably figuring out a way to get him back. 

Turning back to everyone else waiting for the interrogation to start but no one pipes up surprisingly. 

“I’ll tell you guys everything you want to know this weekend. Just didn’t want to jinx it, you know.” They all sighed and agreed knowing how the dating world is nowadays. 

“Can’t believe you went and found a different Barnes when I’m when right here doll,” James smirks nudging your shoulder

“Yeah because that was funny the first time you told me”

let me know what you thought! reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3

[thelovelylolly]

Hobie gotta beat a mf up cause they stared being a misogynistic asshole to his girl🙏🏽🙏🏽

Problem?

Summary: You start your dream job as a journalist, only to have a sexist co-worker and your boyfriend won't let that slide. Warnings: a misogynistic man (icky icky), fem! reader (she/her pronouns used), not proof read bc im tired, let me know if i missed anything :) Notes: hobie would NOT let that behavior slide period

You loved your job. It was your dream since middle school to be a journalist at one of the top news companies. It was everything you wanted, and more. You had the freedom to investigate what you wanted, when you wanted. You had control over how your stories looked in the paper and online, and you weren't as censored as other places were. It was perfect, except one thing.

Your co-worker, James, wasn't the most...welcoming to you or your ideas. You preferred stories about everyday people doing good things in your community, or focusing on local and small businesses. He thought that your stories weren't as gripping or enticing as they needed, and told you to try harder.

At first, you thought it was just because you were a new employee. But when his targeted critiques didn't stop, you realized it was something else. He wouldn't say the same things to your male counterparts. He also didn't respect your assistant, a sweet girl who needed a job during college. He treated her like garbage, which pissed you off even more.

You had a meeting with all the journalists to get updated on what everyone was investigating and reporting on. When you stood up and explained what you were doing, a simple piece about a bakery owned by a sweet lady and her girlfriend, James rolled his eyes and leaned over to his buddy to whisper something.

"I'm sorry, James, but I'm talking right now. You whispering is distracting me and getting me off track, I'd appreciate if you'd stop," you said calmly, trying to call him out as well.

He sighed dramatically. "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to hurt your precious feelings."

You wanted to slap him, but you took a deep breath and went back to what you were talking about.

----

You kicked your door shut behind you and dropped your things next to it. "Hobie, I'm home!"

You walked into your living room where Hobie was on the couch, tuning his guitar. He looked up and smiled, immediately setting his guitar aside and going over to you.

"Hey, love, how was work?" He asked, pressing a kiss to your cheek and giving you a hug.

You grumbled and hid your face in his neck.

"That bad, huh?"

You pulled away from him, pacing up and down the room. "It's my god damn co-worker! He doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut! All he does is criticize me and belittle me, along with the other women in the office, but not with the guys! That sexist piece of shit! It's just...I hate it and I can't do anything with causing a HR nightmare, and I don't wanna lose this job, Hobie. It means so much to me and I…I just can’t lose it.”

You stop and wipe the frustrated tears that had slipped down your cheeks. You look at Hobie and give him a wobbly smile. “‘M sorry, didn’t mean to explode on you like that.”

“Don’t apologize, babe. You’re frustrated, I get it,” he replied, walking over to you and running his hands up and down your arms soothingly. “How ‘bout we order your favorite take out, yeah?”

“And we can watch my favorite movie?”

“Anything you want, love.”

----

On his patrol as Spider-Man, Hobie kept his eye out for your…problematic co-worker. He didn’t know what the guy looked like, but he could figure it out. He swung by your office and took a look inside.

There was only two people left, a man and a woman. He was at his desk, sipping some drink and yelling at the poor woman who was just trying to organize some files. He eyed her like a piece of candy and yelled at her for putting the papers in the wrong place. Then, he stood up and grabbed his things before heading to the door.

Bingo.

Hobie swung down to the front doors of the building and waited for the man to walk out. A few minutes later, the man strolled out on the phone.

“Exactly, Tim. I don’t get why she got hired. She just does some stories with zero…what’s the word, content to them? I don’t know, it’s just a matter of time until she gets hit with reality. She even had the nerve to stand up to me-“

“Pardon me, mate,” Hobie said, catching the man’s attention.

The man froze at the sight of Spider-Man, hanging up the phone. Hobie glanced at his badge and saw his name.

“James, is it? Well, I heard you were giving the women you work with some grief.”

“W-what do you want?” James stuttered.

Hobie started to back him into a corner. “You know how Spider-Man believes in…fairness and what not?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Well, I believe your attitude isn’t very fair to your co-workers.”

“Listen, man, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I-“

Hobie didn’t let him finish, giving him a shove back to cut him off.

“Consider this your warning, James,” Hobie said in a low tone. “Stay away from my girl, and you won’t see me again.”

With that, he swung away, leaving James shaking like a leaf.

----

The next day, when you got home from work, you immediately went to Hobie. He was in the kitchen, fixing some dinner for the two of you.

“Hey, babe, how was work?” He asked, putting his spoon down and going to you to give you a kiss on the cheek.

“It was…good. James didn’t bother me at all, or any of the girls, actually. It was weird, but I’m not complaining.”

Hobie hummed and went back to his cooking. You tilted your head to the side, confused at his reaction. You hopped up onto the counter next to where he was working.

“Hobie…did you do something?” You asked.

“What? Nah, I don’t even know this guy,” he answered.

"Hm, okay," you said. You hopped off the counter, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and went to get changed.

Hobie smiled to himself, knowing that James wouldn't mess with you anymore.

[beatrixst0nehill]

"Here she comes, marketing director extraordinaire!" Gavin joked, filming his coworker, Aubrey.

"Come on, stop playing around," she laughed, smiling big.

"No way, just look at you. All those seminars must be paying off."

Aubrey blushed. "OK..... so, it's not like I can hide it. I know what everyone's been gossiping about as I wear my baggy shirts and sweaters. But now it's May and I can't hide them anymore. So..... here they are."

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Aubrey. I think having a set of boobs bigger than your head suits you. Makes you look dumber and more approachable."

"Awwww, how sweet," she sarcastically replied. "Well, I'll have you all know they're going to be getting much bigger."

"Wow, and you already look like you're struggling to keep balance...."

Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know they look ridiculous, but we got bought out last year and the new CEO wants all of us, the high-ranking women in his company, to have extremely big boobs. He's..... definitely a tits kind of guy."

"I can see that. And let me guess, doesn't hurt for all of his corporate cronies to have you and the other girls to grope and fondle when they give meetings?"

"Wow, good guess. Yep, I don't even have a seat, I sit in the senior VP's lap as he paws at my tits all meeting long."

"Damn, not even good enough to be the CEO's girl. Harsh."

"No, that honor is going to Jackie, you know, the blonde coder girl?"

"Oh, the one that's like.... massively pregnant now?"

"Yeah. The CEO has her bent over the table fucking her as he gives his meetings."

"Lucky girl, am I right?"

"I guess."

"So, what about you? The VP isn't knocking you up?"

"If you must know..... I'm actually two months. Yes, he fucks me sometimes in the meetings, and so do a lot of the other corporate guys and shareholders when they come in."

"Damn, everyone gets a ride on the Aubrey train but me. That sucks."

Aubrey bit her lip. "You can fuck me, Gavin. The CEO says being free use is good for company morale--oh, oops."

"Free use, since when?"

"Since the takeover..... shit. We just haven't told anyone since HR is all run by girls. Oh fuck."

"Guys, did you hear!?" Gavin shouted. "All the senior girlies, the ones they're making grow big tits, they're all free use! Aubrey just told me."

Aubrey watched, blushing as about six girls around the office were either pushed against a wall or tackled to the floor, their breasts pulled from their tops, skirts hiked up, fucked relentlessly in front of their coworkers."

"Way to go, Aubrey...." the girls groaned in disappointment.

"Sorry!" Aubrey said, eyes turning to Gavin, who propped his phone on a desk nearby, still filming. "What're you doing."

He looked at the recording to make sure the angle was right. "There! Perfect."

"What....? Oh shit."

Gavin pulled her in front of the desk, ripping her dress straight down the middle, exposing her breasts, pushing up what remained of her dress, fucking her in the ass. "Just making a little movie for me and my friends to watch later. now smile for the camera, oh, and be sure to tell me how much it hurts, and how good the pain feels, got that, sweetie?"

"But it does hurt! Oh fuck!" she moaned, turning her head toward him as Gavin slammed his cock in and out of her tight ass.

Gavin smacked her face hard, holding her by the throat as he repositioned her head to face forward. "Eyes in front, cum-dump. Now smile." He let go of her neck, grabbing and showing off Aubrey's growing breasts, squeezing milk out of them, smacking them together so they clapped.

Aubrey heard the moaning and yelping and grunts of her male coworkers brutalizing their female superiors. She knew this is how office life would be from now on, so she better get used to it and smile.

[thepixelelf]

do u know nct?? if so, jung jaehyun and cupid au?!!! if not then au where wonwoo is a regular dude and also the subject of a Prophecy against his best wishes? idk i hope these are fun!!!

I genuinely don't think I could characterize jung jaehyun if I tried... but I can do reluctant Normal Guy wonwoo!! I hope you like it :]

[mr chosen one] It's been three weeks and six days since Wonwoo met the most annoying person in the world. Three weeks and six days since Wonwoo's been able to relax. Three weeks and six days of your constant pestering.

You call yourself the oracle. Whatever the hell that means.

All Wonwoo knows is that you showed up at his workplace out of nowhere as the "social media manager". Why would a company that sells Tupperware need a social media manager? Wonwoo still doesn't know. He's pretty sure you just wormed your way in to complete your life's mission-- annoying the shit out of him.

The first day, you'd leaned into his cubicle and whispered, "Hey. You're Jeon Wonwoo, right?"

And when he hesitantly nodded, wondering how the hell you already knew his name since he was one hundred percent sure he'd have nothing to do with the company's social media, you beamed.

Smiled so bright he thought he might go blind, and said, "I knew I'd find you."

Ever since that first day, you've been telling him over and over again how he's supposed to save the world.

Step number 1: find the king -- whoever that is -- in the heart of the fire.

You haven't told him who the hell "the king" is because apparently, you don't even know. And the whole "heart of the fire" thing is fuzzy to you as well, even though you're the one who said that out loud in the first place.

Step number 2: behead the king.

Yeah. Sure.

"And where am I supposed to get the sword for that?" he asked you nonchalantly a week into your nonsense, his eyes not leaving the spreadsheet he was working on. "Amazon?"

You just shrugged. "You can get anything on Amazon."

Step number 3: bear the crown under the weight of stars.

Whatever that means.

"You can't just say no," you asserted two weeks in. "This is your fate."

"I'm good, thanks." Wonwoo poured himself a mediocre black coffee in the break room, where he'd gone in the hopes of avoiding you. He didn't offer you any.

You crossed your arms. "The world is at stake."

"If the whole world is about to explode, I'm pretty sure you've got the wrong guy."

Almost four weeks of this weirdness, and maybe Wonwoo should've gone to HR by now, but it sounds a little trivial, even to him.

Hey, HR, my coworker keeps telling me I'm part of a world-saving prophecy and is convinced I need to go on a journey. I want either for them to be fired, or a couple weeks off so I can go save the world. Thanks.

Yeah, no. Instead, Wonwoo just braces himself for another day of your pestering.

...Which doesn't happen.

At the halfway point of the first peaceful lunch break Wonwoo's had in weeks, he realizes he hasn't even caught a glimpse of you all morning. He revels in that feeling for a bit, almost embarrassingly gleeful to sit in silence and eat his cup-a-noodles.

Then the afternoon goes by, and you've still yet to meet your annoyance quota for the day.

Wonwoo is happy. Yes. This is good news.

You've finally gotten over your delusions, and he won't have to deal with you anymore.

He's poking his head in Seungkwan's cubicle before he realizes he's doing it.

"Oh, them?" Seungkwan says when Wonwoo asks about you. "They left. They told big boss man we had no reason to employ a social media manager in the first place and got themselves transferred to a sister company."

Wonwoo blinks. "What?"

"Shouldn't you already know? You guys were hanging out like every day."

After that, Wonwoo walks back to his desk in silence. Awkward silence.

Why doesn't he like the silence?

When he sits down, there's a yellow sticky note on his keyboard, which he swears wasn't there when he left.

He wouldn't recognize your handwriting, but he knows it has to be yours.

Fine. I'll behead the king myself.

Wonwoo pinches the note between his fingers, and he remembers the conversation he had with you just the day before.

"It sounds dangerous," he said, focusing on the photocopier in front of him.

"Oh, it will be." You were leaned against the doorjamb. Always close by. "You'll be dodging death at every curve in the road."

"Delightful. I think I'll sit this one out."

The note gets crumpled in Wonwoo's fist. He grabs his coat and takes swift steps toward the elevators.

"Where are you going?" Seungkwan calls out when he sees Wonwoo practically run past his cubicle.

Wonwoo presses the down button before he rethinks and moves to the doors to the stairwell. He yells back, "I have no idea!"

He really doesn't.

But you said all that stuff about fate-- if it's really meant to be him that saves the world...

His footsteps, in whichever direction, will take him to you. Through fate or whatever.

At least, he really, really hopes so.

[saltofmercury]

Hello hello 👋🏻 new follower here but I love your work (the clumsy reader drabble was so cute I love our bbygirl in these “mundane” type of situations and you’ve written him into that setting so wonderfully 💕❤️) so I thought I’d shoot in a request, you can turn it into a drabble or something else of your choosing, that is of course if it appeals to you! But I thought it was a cute and funny moment which could fit well with your writing style! So I work in an office filled w a lot of men who are taller than me which means I have to crane up my neck 99% of the time to keep a conversation w them, but there’s this one coworker who has to courtesy to lean down/sit beside me and sometimes gets on his knees next to my desk on the floor whenever he comes around to talk, and the other day another coworker passed us by and he said “ [hisname], on your knees again, I see?” and he immediately clapped back w “I’ll always get down on my knees for a woman, you should try it out sometimes!” (now that I read this back it comes across as juvenile and borderline a HR nightmare but I promise it was harmless fun😭😭)

anyhoo since I have a very dirty mind in general and am currently battling a bad case of brainrot bc of a certain Austrian sniper who triggers all the kinks (size in particular🥴) I was thinking what if Konig would have a freudian slip like this around his crush and where it would lead the two of them 👀

Hope this fits the request!

"Friendship"

Small little hand touches, small flirty comments, stealing eye glances toward one another. You two had been dancing around one another. There was an obvious attraction toward one another, but afraid of overstepping your friendship boundary, you had left it kissing in the hallway, not wanting to get hurt.

König seemed like he liked to keep it as a friendship too. He would talk to you throughout the day, FaceTime at night, even sometimes making you lunch when you didn’t answer him. He knew you were busy so he tried to make your day a little easier.

He actually hated the kissing part because it left him wanting more.

“Come on one more kiss?”

He had been breathless, meeting you in the stairwell for your usual “afternoon delight.” A term he mixed up.

He pulled you in, craned his neck towards you, trapping you under his arms and lips.

“I’ve got — he kissed you

— reports to submit!”

“Last one until tomorrow,” he exhaled, rubbing your face with his thumbs, then embracing you, sticking his tongue in your mouth, you sucking it and making him moan.

You felt it. He was clearly hard against you, so you pulled away, not trying to make it worse for him.

“Hey, wait just for a minute more…” he attempted to pull you back but you dismissed him, telling him you need to get back to your report for Price.

Later that night, after you guys had FaceTimed each other, you two had been laughing at something he said.

“Ok ok, I need to go to sleep, I have to go to the gym tomorrow.” He said

“Alright, fine.” You whined. “Goodnight…”

“Okay goodnight —I love you!” He had heard what he said, wide eyed, his face turned red, and he fumbled his phone to end the call.

The next day, you hadn’t brought up the I love you, meeting with everyone to go over plans for the mission you were sending them on. You had briefed each and every member of KorTac, making sure they knew what they would be supplied with and how much time they had.

Once it was over, Horangi leaned over to König.

“God she’s strict but I like her! She’s all business. She even gave us timelines of when this should be completed.”

König stared at you standing in the hallway, fixing your jacket over your blouse.

He was never a boobs kind of guy, but he thinks you made him one. He wondered how they would feel in his mouth.

“Yeah she’s the breast… I mean best!” He stared at Horangi, who started laughing hysterically.

“Got your mind in the gutter König?”

At that moment you had turned towards them, wondering what Horangi was laughing about. You smiled, waving at them.

Two days later, you had a free afternoon, König had been talking to you about heading to the gym. You had told him you desperately wanted a shower and would skip the gym today. Not that you even went, you weren’t into fitness at all.

König had heard what you said, but insisted on having you there with him, to at least have company and sneak off to make out. But what had come out was —

“Hey wanna go shower with me?” He was stunned, you started laughing so hard you couldn’t stop. He was clearly flustered, he wasn’t sure if you had laughed it off as a joke or just merely embarrassed.

"I've got to go, i'm gonna be late." He practically gathered himself running away.

When he tried calling you that night, but you had been too preoccupied with something else. Wondering if his feelings secretly slipped a message out. Did he want more than just friends?

You touched yourself, imagining what it would feel to have his pouty lips in between your legs. What it would be like to have him moaning echoing throughout the four corners of your room. How it would be to sit on him, his thick sex entering you, stretching you out as you held onto him…

He didn't reach you, and left you a voicemail.

“Okay I know today was weird with the shower comment… if you get this call, give me a chance." It had slipped out again.

Once you heard that message it was clear. You knew he wanted it too.

You texted him to come over.

He had rushed over, sensing some priority in your message. The three knocks on your door had created an urgency inside you. You ran to the door, and grabbed him by the shirt. Pulled him into a kiss.

“I want you so bad König you don’t understand. I don’t want to be friends.”

He chuckled lightly, “I do understand…”

He picked you up and pressed you against the wall. Sucking on your neck and collarbone, leaving small bites, and hickeys in their place.

“You have no idea what you do to me, how badly I’ve wanted this.”

You grab a hold of his face in your hands, sloppily kissing him and arching your back from the wall, your breasts closer to his chest.

“Say you’ve wanted me too? Please baby.”

You pulled yourself from him, unlatching your legs around his waist, and pulling yourself down.

You proceed to undress yourself walking slowly to the bedroom.

He followed you into the room where you’ve already peeled off most of your clothes except your panties.

“I’ve wanted you so badly.”

You lay on the bed, and as his hands roam your breasts, squeezing, and fondling your nipples, he gently rubs down to your panties, his fingertips on the edge of them.

“No, König, take them off with your teeth.”

He looks at you for a second, the rush of blood going straight to his erection. He kisses you through your underwear, grabs a hold of your legs from underneath. Teeth nip lightly at your skin, grab a hold of the lace in-between and with one full motion, he’s taken them down to your knees. He rips them off your leg and puts them in his back pocket.

He looks at you, exposed, your legs wide open. Your cunt somewhat wet for him, and he’s got to taste just to be sure.

He places his tongue on you, gently flicks inside you, swirling and licking you at every inch.

He moans, nuzzling himself closer.

“ugh baby, you’ve got such a cute cunt.”

The heat rises from your stomach to your cheeks. He’s so gentle, sucking on your lips, teasing your clit.

“I’ve wanted to taste you since we’ve shared our first kiss.”

He speaks softly, placing small pecks on you. It bubbles small waves in you.

He wraps his hands around yours,

“Tell me baby, have you wondered what it’s like? What does my tongue feel like on your pretty little cunt?”

You’re overwhelmed, he’s so vocal but gentle, it makes you crazy. You let out a small moan.

“Breathe in through your nose baby, relax, I’m here.”

As soon as you take those deep breaths, it’s game over, like your body has its full attention on his tongue on your clit, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body.

He’s egging you on,

“You like it when I go fast?” He flicks your clit faster with his tongue,

then asks,

“Or slow like this?”

And proceeds to suck on your clit so gently, soft moans coming from his mouth.

“You taste so good, baby.”

Your brain can’t comprehend anything. The sounds you’re emitting, his tongue on you, how he expresses himself… you can feel how close you are.

“You’re gonna cum soon? I can feel it, you’re so wet. Cum for me.”

And it’s with those three words that send you over the edge. You arch your back, flares ripple through your body, and you moan his name.

He’s still sucking, making you jump slightly, pushing away from him.

He comes up towards your body, placing soft kisses on your legs, tummy, and breasts. He stops at the left one, sucking on it.

“I’ll get these next time.” He tells you, grabbing you for a deep kiss.

You stare up at him, wondering why it was ever such a bad thing to break your friendship. There was no doubt in your head you two were made for one another.

[sp00kymulderr]

take the long way home - part 2

series masterlist

Pairing: Marcus Pike x afab reader

Warnings: 18+, mentions of sex, one night stand, cursing, reader is a mess, Marcus is Marcus.

Word Count: 1k

Series Summary:  Classic story, right? You meet a handsome man, let him take you home, and plan to never see him again. Of course, these things rarely go to plan.

A/N: To follow for fic updates only go to @sp00kyupdates​ or see taglist details on my masterlist.

Marcus feels sick.

The moment he see's you in that meeting room, his new employee, he feels quesy with it. You...the person who had come in to his life one evening and left it without a word the next morning. He had thought about seeing you again, too many times to count...but hell, not like this. 

Definitely not like this.

When he had woken up that morning to find you already gone from his bed, from his home and from his life his first feeling had been quite reasonably one of disappointment. Marcus hated waking up alone, no one to talk to, no one to kiss good morning - in the past he had even chased relationships just to not be alone. After a breakup he would wake unfulfilled and lonely in bed, unable to shake the feeling for weeks. After Teresa it had been worse. 

Maybe he was naive but he had assumed you would at least let him make you breakfast, after what you had let him do the previous night. But you hadn’t left even a note, not your number pinned to his fridge or a ‘thanks for the memories’. Not even a quick cup of coffee and a kiss on the cheek. Had it been too much to expect? Was he just not well versed on the one night stand anymore? Maybe he really was just still making mistakes over and over again…just like before.

Now he thinks back to that night. Before you’d gotten home - before you’d gotten in to his bed. You’d mentioned a new life - a new job and a fresh start - in that hopeful but melancholy tone that had drawn him to you in the first place. God, he had never thought for a moment the job could be here. In his department. Working with him. Maybe he should’ve asked more but then there hadn’t been much talking after the bar.

So Marcus stands in that meeting room shell shocked and feeling sick. Not just that…he feels anxious and unsure and he doesn’t even think there is protocol in the HR documents for this kind of thing.

He stays silent for just a beat too long and someone in the room clears their throat. He’s just standing there barely through the doorway, staring at the new hire.

The prettiest new hire he could've ever imagined.

Damn he was screwed.

****

You give him a smile, hopefully something professional and not something that says ‘oh god oh god I slept with my boss’.

"Nice to meet you, Agent Pike" You say confidently, saving him from his freeze as you stand up to shake his hand. If you can just keep everything professional you’ll be fine, right? It was one night and it didn’t mean a thing, right?

The contact of his hand on yours sends a spark of memory right through to your brain and you have to blink sharply to stop seeing that same hand disappearing beneath the hem of your dress not that long ago.

"You alright, boss?" One of the others, Michael you think, says to him.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Busy morning, just trying to catch my thoughts before we go over this case" Marcus clears his throat and finally moves to sit down at the head of the table.

"So..." he takes one more moment, a breath, before pulling some papers from a binder.

There’s a syndicate of art forgers operating out of Chicago. Marcus talks the team through it as you try so, so hard to listen and not think about the things your mind is apparently determined to make you think on. This is your new job and your new life; you can't screw it up just because you screwed the wrong person.

Not again.

You want to think about work. You’ve uprooted your whole life to be someone new, someone better. But how the hell can you be that when your boss is a man with huge brown eyes and a soulful stare and a kiss that could stop time?

Somewhere in the distance you hear someone saying your name, but you're pretty damn lost in whatever the hell is happening in your mind.

"Huh?" You say, and see eight expectant faces staring back at you.

"Did you want to...can you introduce yourself to the team?" Marcus is speaking, of course it's his voice.

His voice had moaned your name just a few short weeks ago. If it wouldn’t look completely nuts you’d slap yourself just to get that damn thought out of your head.

"Oh. Yeah. Of course” You mumbled, trying to get your thoughts back on track. You sit up straighter and try for that air of confidence.

“I just transferred from New York - Organized Crime division - going for a bit of a change after…” After I got my heart broken by my partner… “After closing off one of the biggest cases. I needed something uh, different”

Not a lie, although not the whole truth. You’d worked with your partner for years and you’d loved them for years and then they’d met someone else. Just like that. After the case you’d been chasing for years was finally put to an end you’d had to get out of there and never see them again. But your new team didn’t need to know that. Your new boss definitely didn’t need to know that.

You look at the team. All of them pleasant, all of them welcoming. But all you feel is this pit of dread in your stomach. You don’t look at Marcus. After a few questions about your work, and an introduction to the others' roles they’re leaving the room before you even realize the meeting has ended.

And just like that it's you and Marcus in the room together. 

You clasp your hands together and stand awkwardly from your chair. You should look at him but god you don't want to look at him. How could you have let this happen, why did you have to go home with him that night? Why did you have to keep making these stupid decisions? 

"So...new job huh?" Marcus finally breaks the silence with a weak voice and you look over at him, steeling yourself. You will not be taken in by those warm brown eyes, you will not.

"Yeah. New job" You start, not sure what exactly to say 

“We should probably talk-“ He begins but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

"Look…Blank slate? Lets just- We’ll pretend we’ve never met before. It was only one night, it’s not like we know each other” 

Perhaps in your dream world, you’d like this to be different. He’s handsome and kind and you had really enjoyed your night with him. But this is the real world, and life isn’t a goddamn fairytale where you can make eyes at your boss without consequence.

“This job is really important for me. It's really, really important I don't screw it up" You explain and look at him with pleading eyes. Marcus looks disappointed? Upset? You're not sure. You don't like his expression.

"Blank slate, yeah, that's fair. I wouldn't want to start you off on the wrong foot here…. It was just the one night. Right" Marcus's voice is a little quiet, like he's not sure he believes those words as he looks at you - you feel like his eyes are searching yours for something. You try very hard to not give him anything to find.

“Well…" He finally gets up, saying your name as he opens the door for you.

“Welcome to the team. It’s nice to meet you” 

[theweirdgoodbyes]

hey hii. for the prompt request. For Sledgefu can I pair the Office AU and dialogue O 😄 thank you

Thanks for the ask! ❤️ @lamialamia

“Hey, Gene?”

Eugene looks up from where he’s furiously typing away at his keyboard to see Sid hanging over his cubicle with a look of concern.

“What’s up?” Eugene asks, thankful for the opportunity to take a break from his e-mail fight with Mackenzie in HR. Transferring his health insurance from his parents to King & Co.’s had been a three week shit show and Eugene was close to emailing Mackenzie back with “give me dental or I’m gonna knock all YOUR teeth out”.

“Don’t look behind you…but I’m pretty sure VS just walked out of Burgin’s office.”

Eugene stares at Sid blankly, at first not remembering what VS stood for.

“VS?”

Sid quickly looks around him before whispering sharply, “Virginity Snatcher.”

Eugene slams his hands down on his desk both in disbelief and to keep from falling out of his chair.

“No!” He cries, shaking his head furiously. No need to keep bothering Mackenzie about insurance; he’s about to jump out the window. “It can’t be him!”

“It is him. No doubt.”

Embarrassingly enough, Eugene is pretty sure the guy told him his real name, but two bottles of champagne on his twenty-first birthday left little to memory. Sid and Mary had taken him to New Orleans to celebrate five years ago, gently supporting him in his mission to finish the night a deflowered man. They had found the busiest bar in town and Eugene made quick work of finding someone to take pity on him. If you asked Mary, Eugene had accosted Virginity Snatcher on the dance floor, but Eugene remembers it as shyly approaching the very handsome man who had been giving him the eye since they walked in. One thing led to another and the guy took Eugene’s virginity in the back of Sid’s Rav-4, a magical yet blurred experience. What unfortunately stands out clearest in his head is Virginity Snatcher going in for a post-coitus smooch and Eugene puking all over him, blubbering something about being a virgin and ‘you’re so hot and I’m so sorry’.

“This is so bad,” Eugene feels like he’s gonna puke all over again, “I lost his number. I puked on him. I told him I was a virgin and never spoke to him again.”

“Yeah, I remember, my car smelled for weeks.”

“What is he doing here?” Eugene whispers furiously, not noticing Sid’s eyes widen as they focus on something behind him. He was never supposed to see this guy again, “I was never supposed to-“

“Gene, Sid. I’d like you to meet Merriell from our New Orleans branch.”

Eugene slowly turns his chair to see Burgin and Merriell standing behind him. The man formerly known as Virginity Snatcher’s jaw drops when he makes eye contact with Eugene. He’s somehow even hotter than he used to be, looking much more professional in a button up and tie than he did in the tank and shorts Eugene had met him in. They stare at each other in silence and Eugene can feel his face getting red.

Burgin looks back and forth between them with furrowed brow, “How do you know each other?”

At the same time Merriell and Eugene answer, “We don’t.”

“Ookay,” Burgin says, obviously not believing a fucking word, “Well, Merriell will be with us from here on out as my assistant. Any problems you have can go to him. Lemme show you the break room.”

I fucked him and never talked to him again, is that a problem I should go to him with? Eugene thinks, giving a small wave to Burgin and Merriell as they walk away, Merriell turning back once to look at him in confusion. Sid covers his hand with his mouth and bites back a laugh. Eugene throws a paperclip at him.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s very funny. I gotta text Mary.”

Eugene turns back to his computer, finding all his fire about Mackenzie’s bogus requests has fizzled out, replaced by dread that the guy who took his virginity is essentially his boss now.

And it’s only Monday. Fuck.

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S4

“I know this all seems bleak. And it feels like we’re all doomed, and therefore humanity is doomed.” I love that the scope of their problems change with each season

“With this team, there’s no problem we can’t solve.” “There is no problem we can’t create.” Duality of man (sort of)

“You know what I’m saying.” “Oh, I’m not part of this.” Michael’s not going to take any responsibility for Brent

I took a pause between watching S3 and S4 so I don’t remember Matt from Accounting but I’m assuming he was the guy who filed to be Thanos-snapped because he was Accountant of Weird Sex Stuff

I have never seen Manny Jacinto with such a scowl on his face throughout this show omg, I love the Jealousy Arc:

“I believe everything Chidi ever tells me because of his brain and how he looks like one of those owls that graduated from college.” God what I would give to be flattered by the Jason School of Compliments 

“Luckily, before I died, I pumped my face with six vials of juviderm [...] My ex-boyf is gonna be supes jeal.’” I know that John is meant to represent a specific Gossip Influencer personality but it does give me a bit of bone arsenic to watch him speak. Feels hateful LMAO

[Stanley from The Office voice] “That’s not what a hate crime is, Michael.” “Well, I hated it!”

“Are we still boyfriend/not a girlfriend?” Jason is new to relationships but he is trying ❤️

I know Linda the Boring Senior Citizen from Norway could’ve gone any number of directions, but I can’t say I was expecting her to knock four people to the ground and then jump into the sky

LINDA IS CONTINUING HER RAMPAGE IN THE AIR???? GIRL IS THIS ALL BECAUSE ELEANOR CALLED YOU “LINDS”

Update from 30 seconds later: It was the Shirtless Soulmate Gymbro Demon

Tahani did call this one!!

“So you’re saying, wanting to do something isn’t a good reason to immediately do it?” [Proudly] “Yeah.” “Man! I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.” DADDY MIICHAEL TO THE RESCUE AGAIN

The expressions that Janet and Eleanor are leveling at Brent. They are going through it 

“That’s what’s wrong with this country.” “What country?” This is truly what talking to people from the US is like LMAO

Ggkjghkjghg Brent thinking he needs to be in a Better Place than the Good Place. Oh my god

However, repeating right here that I just don’t know if I can believe a Good Place even exists, given everything that we’ve seen

“Perhaps leadership isn’t her forte.” A bold take considering Eleanor has only been leading for two days and Michael had to reboot y’all like 800 times

I think Eleanor’s crisis about being in charge is much more warranted than Team Humanity’s meeting about her failures

“You beat me in 3 months. ‘Okay, a fluke,’ I thought. You then beat me 800 more times.” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MICHAEL! AND YEAH THEY DID 😭💗

Michael raises an excellent point about humans with flaws being the ones to understand how best to help other humans with flaws become the best version of themselves

Also. Insane that in this manufactured society where there are Popcorn Rivers and People Can Fly that people are still commenting on how much Eleanor showers??? WHY WOULD PEOPLE NOT CONTINUOUSLY BE IN GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION ALWAYS IN THE AFTERLIFE?

Brent vouching him being good at keeping secrets by claiming he buried HR complaints (from experience, it doesn’t take much to have an HR that does absolutely fucking nothing to support their employees LOL)

“I’m so sorry to say this, but I can’t be in a relationship with you right now.” JASON TAKING A STEP BACK WHEN JANET MENTIONS HAVING SPACE 😭😭😭 HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND, I HATE THIS

“We have to hope that over time, Brent starts doing good things out of habit.” “Just like you.” KGJHKGJHGKJ I think it’s a bit more than habit, you made the decision to choose being good Eleanor!!!

Honestly I fully believe that Michael had a breakdown on Day 1, he’s been through a lot of stress the past several hundred years

Eleanor introducing Simone as Chidi’s soulmate like she and Chidi haven’t fallen in love (confidently, and without equivocation) hundreds of times ☹️

“I never actually fell in love with someone.” YEAH YOU DID CHIDI!!

“Why not treat them better, just in case they’re real?” Haven’t really talked about it thus far but it’s absolutely BANANAS that Simone’s response to thinking the afterlife isn’t real is to cut off people’s ponytails and push them into pools. Even Jason’s impulses aren’t so directly aimed at people in this way. What happened to ur me vs. us speech, girl!!!

Eleanor and Jason’s sad break-up solidarity high five:

“We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread.” Reintroduce Chidi to capitalism and have him work a minimum wage job

That might be high-grade dread though LMAO

Also I love this drives home that Eleanor specifically is part of what drove him to become a better person!

Fkhfkjfhfjh Eleanor, Michael and Jason planning how to gently torture Chidi while Tahani and Janet plan John’s perfect spa day. Seems like Chidi got the worse end of that stick:

“Would I like to use my time in heaven to audit a philosophy class? Mmm no.” You know what, for the first time: Fair point, John

“There were ants everywhere, but they were so helpful. They carried our wineglasses back and forth, and folded our napkins for us, it was so cute.” Call me a hater but if there were insects in my own personal experience of the afterlife I’d burst into tears

However. Good for the ants, that does sound cute ❤️ 

HAHAHAH JASON BEING UNLEASHED AS A STRESS BOMB ON CHIDI. THE BEGINNINGS (PART 802) OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

“While you were gallivanting around with your fancy friends, I lived in the real world, so I had bills to pay. I worked 16 hours a day, by myself, building a site with millions of readers.” John actually does make a reasonable observation��to Tahani that there is not a level-playing field when it comes to the morality under capitalism and class division:

“But I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, and this is the universe getting back at me.” CHIDI IS SO NICE, IF ANYONE BELONGS IN THE GOOD PLACE IT’S HIM. HE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A PROMISE (HELP JASON) AND HIS INTEREST IN BEING HONEST AND GOOD 😭💘

“I made God cry?” I know this is because they view The Good Place as heaven but there’s something about Chidi calling the woman he loves God that just gets me right in the heart 💘💘💘💘💘:

Also Michael gently patting Eleanor’s back. Best Demon Dad!!

In Tahani’s defense of having been miserable and lonely with no real friends, she did make some Best Friends Forever eventually, they were just in the afterlife, and then on Earth

JKHKJHFKJHFFJB THE CUT TO JASON WATCHING THE MOTORCYCLE EXPLODE AND GO “NOT AGAIN!” BETWEEN ALL OF THESE EMOTIONAL SCENES

“I really am sorry for all the posts I wrote about you.” John is able to grow 💗 Good for him

Also I love how Tahani is often the one to demonstrate the moral core of this show to characters outside of the main group, which is that goodness comes, in many ways, from a love of other people

“I’m sorry your motorcycle blew up.” “That’s okay homie, that’s just what motorcycles do.” My parents when I wanted to get a motorcycle license

“Genuine human connection will be his course of study.” GO PROFESSOR TAHANI 

“Go get ‘em, Chippy.” Brent constantly saying Chidi’s (two syllable, very familar sounds to English speakers) first name wrong vs. Eleanor saying his last name wrong three seasons ago. Truly Eleanor’s Much More Icky Counterpart 

You know, of all the possible spies the Bad Place could send, Glenn is a good choice, he’s got a very passive aura and seems like he could use some friends

The return of Vicky aka Real Eleanor aka Fake Michael and the Michael suit I honestly completely forgot about after my post-S3 break

“Oh, I’m very upset about this development.” Don’t distrust ur Demon Dad. He’s nice!!!

“I’m a 6,000 ft. tall fire squid. I have tentacles. There’s teeth everywhere. I’m on fire, and my neck is long, and there’s a smell, and lots of juice.” Demon Dad is self-conscious about his friends seeing his previous body. ☹️ LET MICHAEL WEAR WHAT FEELS RIGHT

“I won’t just be Michael. I’ll be some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. Do you really want to be friends with something like that?” Michaelllllllll. Something something the mortifying ordeal of being known

Jason comforting Janet after her first accidental murder. I really hope they can find a situation that works for them

“Oh boy, is this really gonna suck.” Michael offering to literally destroy himself for the good of humanity. If this turns out not to be Michael at any point I will be SO UPSET, he is SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AND DEMON AND PERSON (SORT OF)

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT WAS BAD JANET AND JASON KNEW THIS NOT-A-GIRL WAS NOT HIS NOT-GIRL!!!!!

POOR JANET THOUGH ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

“I’m gonna go down there and I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, and I’m going to get Janet back!” YEAHHHHHHHH JASON

“Let’s go get our girl.” “Not a girl.” GOOOOOOO TEAM JASON AND MCIHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, wild that they’re sending Michael to the place where the Michael suit is, like that’s not going to immediately bite them in the ass in terms of keeping track of who they can trust

Michael just dropping that Tahani also has the context of her whole afterlife, offscreen. She deserves her narrative moments!!

“Can I have all my memories back again? I forgot most of them.” Me too, Jason. ALSO LFHKJFHKFH WOW

I think Jason who is infinitely capable of just taking on whatever moral values are in front of him. If he hadn’t grown up in Jacksonville I think he’d be fine 

“Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy, bad-girl sister-aunt.” I don’t know if this is all those Mommy-Sorry Tiktoks but this somehow feels more transgressive than the Derek’s earlier mommy-girlfriend comments

 [Chuckles] “But to be fair, I wasn’t designed for anything.” ME TOO, DEREK HAHAHA

“Even Derek has an important job. I’d like to be more useful.” Even Tahani has begun lampshading her own lack of narrative purpose this season lmao

SCREAM @ Michael being scared of being in the birthplace of evil (presumably, his own birthplace) while Jason is scared that he and Janet may not have their special connection. He is the perfect boyfriend, no notes

“I love a movie with gentle magic. Give me a time-travelling mailbox, or a mother-daughter body switch, or Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it.”

Me 🤝 John 

Loving stories with gentle magic in them

“What echoes of this former self await me here?” 

Jason 🤝 Michael 🤝 Me

Having a really hazy and unpleasant memory of high school

HAHAHAHAHA everyone having the most stressful days of their lives (Eleanor subject to Derek’s Single Father to the Neighbourhood Chaos, Tahani trying to wrangle the three morally questionable humans, Jason and Michael in the Bad Place and Janet being held prisoner) while Chidi gets to do a little “puzzle” given to him by His God-(Ex)-Girlfriend. Oh how the turntables

Lmao @ Shawn saying they went overboard on the cheekbones to acknowledge Jason’s incredibly beautiful face

Say what you will about Jason, he has a very practical kind of wisdom. Who else would think to remember an explosive device for every situation 

“I believed that we committed torture as a part of the moral balance of the universe. But I’ve learned that’s wrong. Humans are capable of self-improvement, and so are we. And down deep, Shawn knows this is true, too. I beg you, open your eyes to the truth.” A beautiful speech by Michael, slightly undermined by the demon he just exploded 

TWO demons he just exploded. Rest in pieces Vicky 

He did, however, solve the problem of the Michael suit

“I swear the production value of demon con gets better every year.” This feels like a meta nod to their increased SFX budget every subsequent season hahahaha 

Convinced the fact that Chidi took/takes so long to kiss Eleanor versus kissing Simone so easily is not just because of his ethical obligations but BECAUSE he loves her so much it is that much harder for him to make decision that might change their relationship 

Hahahaha, they spent so much money on SFX they couldn’t afford the location fees to shoot on a lake:

(You could also make the point that it’s supposed to look that way since it’s a simulation, but I’m pretty sure Chidi was rowing on an actual lake in S1. Maybe it was also a timing thing hahah)

“Plus, your parties aren’t pointless. They’re opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. You know, the thing we need them to do so we’re not all tortured forever?” Eleanor recognizing Tahani’s strengths as part of the group 💗

“But if we ever get through this, I want to learn how to do something meaningful.” Love that for Tahani 💖

“You’re not a demon anymore. You’re just a nice, weird, happy old dude.” Awwww Jason and Michael BFFs 4ever

JASONJANET BACK TOGETHER BAYBEEEEE:

Fkfjhfjhf this Michael Bad Janet storytime feels like a departure in energy after all the intensity of the last ep

Absolutely fucking obssessed with the Hottest Saviour of the Week, and according to this picture here’s the ongoing counts:

Eleanor: 10 (exclusively self-nominated)

Janet: 7

Tahani: 5 (one blocked by where Eleanor is standing but the background is in another shot)

Jason: 3

Michael: 0 (as it should be, no Demon Daddy objectification)

“Her name was Scarlett Pakistan, and she was the type of girl you couldn’t take in all at once, or you’d die.” UHKHFKJHFJHF BRENT TRULY REPRESENTING WHITE MEN WRITING BROWN WOMEN. Rough stuff, Tahani 

“That’s how I got my nickname, The Defendant.” I feel like this doesn’t quite match the energy of Donkey Doug or Pillboi

“Where does this hope come from man? This insane hope that people are worth the trouble?” From Michael’s heart, Bad Janet 💟

I’m gonna be real with you I forgot that no one knew Jason wasn’t Jianyu and I thought that John was having that dramatic reaction over seeing Chidi dance LMAO

Simone makes a very good point of not needing to tolerate racism and misogyny for the sake of kindness

“If this [golf advice of doing better on the next shot] ends up applying to any other aspect of your life later on, then cool.” Hahahahah Michael speaking the only language Brent can understand: Sports metaphors

Very expected that Brent was unable to handle the slightest bit of criticism, even as it directly relates to people he hurt WITH HIS BOOK LOL

“Why not be a bigger person and rise above it?” “I’ll tell you why. Because doing that sends a message that it’s okay to be treated this way. And it’s not okay to treat anyone that way.” Simone continues to make incredibly reasonable points

Chidi said: My fight, flight, freeze instinct does occasionally land on fight

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” MICHAEL FOR BEST AT UNDERSTANDING HUMANS AND MORALITY IN THE UNIVERSE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

Michael being better today than he was yesterday by letting Bad Janet go 😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE HIM

GJHGKJHGKJHG not Simone uncovering the entire plot of the neighbourhood hours before the experiment ends

“Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kinda my move.” Michael said: There’s only room for one anxiety disorder in this friendship, Eleanor

“You never told me about this, Ducky.” The demise of the Simone/Chidi relationship over their respective secret Good Place Experiment hidden professional endeavours

Simone, as a neurologist researcher, is perhaps the most difficult profession to have in this experiment because of course she can see science when she is right in front of it

“We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.” ROUGH BUT REAL 

You know what they say. When the going gets tough, the tough put on a magic show to distract the four people whose ignorance remains crucial to the fate of humanity:

Afjlkjflkjflkfj Jason coherently describing their Hail Mary and Prevent Defense strategy analogy. HE DOES LEARN

Brent 🤝 Jason

Only being able to understand the universe through sports metaphors 

“I respect your position.” “I respect yours.” “Look, I know everything’s really scary right now but I just have to say it. That was the most boring break-up I’ve ever seen.” Accurate but rude, John 

WHY IS CHIDI THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT THE INHERENT VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE? SIMONE, AGAIN, I ASK ABOUT YOUR ME VS. US SPEECH

“If there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s that you can ALWAYS blow up the same thing twice.” JASON, UR SO RIGHT BABY

Lowkey it is traumatizing for both Chidi and Eleanor to have someone they have loved pretending to be their eternal torturer (even if is half true)

It takes Chidi, the most ethical and empathetic person in the world, calling Brent a bad person for him to maybe consider stepping outside his own experiences to care about other people for half a second 

NOT THE EXPERIMENT ENDING MID-BRENT’S APOLOGY:

“Yes, and here’s a bottle of tequila.” [Cheerily] “Okay, let us know how it goes.” Michael knows the way to his surrogate daughter’s heart LMAO

“Oh man, are we gonna die again? We’ve died so many times. We’ve probably had like, 15 funerals by now.” Jason is right, this must really warp their sense of their own life

“You’re a choker, Michael. And you’re about to choke for the last time. Except for the eternity you’re going to spend in the Bad Place being choked by me, who will be doing the choking.” [Tearfully] “Well you’re glue!” 😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL

NOT THEM WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S-ING CHIDI SO HE CAN BE PART OF THE FUNERAL PARTIES

Also Eleanor’s explanation of his jacked physique coming from his anxiety. On brand LMAO 

Also also also the fact that Janet could DEFINITELY transport him by strength or teleport but she’s just watching them struggle HAHAHA

Not Brent somehow getting 1% worse than he was on Earth gkjhgjhgjh

The Weekend at Bernie’s vibes only increase. Chidi is impressively still

“I got born in the deep end of a pool, right after my mom did a cannonball.” 1) Can’t believe this is the first we’re hearing of Jason’s mum and 2) That tracks

“But despite it all, he was the most optimistic person I’ve ever met.” This is why I am in love with Jason

“That’s my Jason. A big colourful rainbow blob, stuffed inside a hot life-size action figure.” I love Janet explaining why she loves Jason. Also, now I want to be flattered by the Janet School of Compliments

Jason 🤝 Janet

Whipping out the best compliments in the world on the fly

So far, Jason’s poolside funeral is my favourite:

Michael proving that the Soul Squad actually made the people they care about better in tangible ways 🥺❤️‍🩹

“People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLL

“But what that number can’t tell you... is who he could’ve become tomorrow.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT’S A GOOD SHOW

“Tahani taught me that you can make a family, even if you never really had one. Jason taught me that I have value beyond what I do for other people. And Eleanor, there was a moment on Earth when all hope was lost, and I watched you have hope anyway.” JANETTTTTTTTTTT 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞

“I never felt quite so seen as when she saw me.” First ‘that’s gay, Tahani,’ of the season!!!!

HKJHRKJHKGJHKJGHJ THEY WON AND THE SOLUTION IS TO CANCEL EARTH? THIS IS WHY I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME BELIEVING THERE IS AN ACTUAL GOOD PLACE, IT JUST DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO GO THERE 

BAD JANET TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL’S FRIENDS ALWAYS COME THROUGH

“It’s not two of us, it’s all of us.” THE JANET REVOLUTION!!!!!!! RISE OF THE JANETS!!!

I love that they’re delivering on the Disco Janet joke they dropped a season ago LMAO

“You want to take the most indecisive man ever born, stuff him full of over 800 different versions of himself, and tell him he has, like what, 45 minutes to save humanity?” GO CHIDIIIIIIII

Not Chidi’s first research project being on why his parents shouldn’t get divorced. We have finally unlocked his childhood trauma

Chidi 🤝 Me

Parents who should be divorced perhaps but instead stayed married 

Chidi philosophizing his way out of a relationship is very on-brand

Awwwww I love these flashbacks of all the things we know about Chidi but with new added perspectives (more about why he and Alessandra broke up, the failure of his thesis, the way he makes decisions, the lead-up to him meeting Eleanor, Jason and Janet’s first wedding)

Sidenote: IS THAT DIGITAL GETDOWN I HEAR IN THE BACKGROUND!!! ITS THEIR SONG BAYBEE

“Where I’m from, most things blow up eventually. So I’ve learned when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down. If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.” Very solid life advice from Jason to Chidi

The way Chidi kept falling for Eleanor regardless of who his soulmate was, even despite his loyalty to the concept of soulmates 💗

 “Woof, that’s too much to put on an eight-year-old.” I will keep saying it: I know it’s not in my best interests to identify with Chidi... and yet

“Soulmates aren’t real, are they?” “Chidi, in all honesty, I don’t know. but I don’t think so.” MAYBE THE REAL SOULMATES WERE THE FRIENDS WE FOUND ALONG THE WAY

“You wake up every day and you solve [the puzzle of life] again.” CHIDIIIIIIII

HAHAHAHAHA CHIDI’S FIRST QUESTION AFTER WAKING UP BEING IF HE HAS BEEN ANNOYING THEM FOR 300 YEARS 

I AM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hahahahaa Chidi said: New timeline, new me, baybee. I am over my indecision anxiety now!!!!

Jason’s concern that eliminating humanity is a bummer is valid

Hahahahah Chidi and Eleanor asking the other if they want to get out of here tickles me

“Chidi should hook up with the judge to get us out of trouble. I’ve done that a bunch of times. It’s called a Jacksonville Plea Bargain.” 1) Someone please help Jason and the state of Florida 2) This statement made me curious to look up how many female judges there are in the Middle District of Florida (where Jacksonville is) purely to determine logically whether Jason hooked up with a man and the answer as of 2020 is 6 out of 14 are female (none self-identify as LGBTQ). So Jason could’ve reasonably gotten these plea deals “a bunch of times” by only by hooking up with women, actually! Sexuality math

But happy Pride Month to Jason, who, while his heart belongs to Janet, whenever he is in a new timeline is liable to propose to literally anyone who he enjoys talking to

“Shut up. Shut up. Hi. Shut up. I’m confident now.” Chidi’s energy is a bit all over the place in times of crisis lmao

"I don’t care if everyone loses, as long as you lose.” Shawn truly willing to cut off his nose (the current system of the afterlife) to spite his face (the four humans he’s been trying to torture for 300 years)

Disco Janet’s marbelized form being a mini disco ball is perfect 10/10 production choices

The Soul Squad offering too take on eternal torture so that the rest of humanity can have a normal, medium afterlife 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

LMAO @ JANET MAKING A TIMOTHY OLYPHANT TO GET THE JUDGE TO HEAR THEM OUT 

THE SYSTEM BEING THAT U KEEP GETTING A SHOT AT BEING A BETTER PERSON UNTIL U ACE IT 💗💗💗💗 ELEANOR, CHIDI, TAHANI, JASON AND MICHAEL, THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

“Then, what are we doing to their penises?” “Well, largely, ignoring them.” [Throws hands up in frustration] RIP the penis-bees

“Getting rebooted over and over again made me a better not-a-person than I’ve ever been. Humans should get the same opportunity.” YEAH JANET!!!

“Fighting you is the most fun I’ve ever had.” It’s almost Death Note-esque in the being consumed by targeting the other person so much you get attached. I guess Shawn is the Light in this situation. (Although L does engage in recreational torture)

"You have to read my file right now!” “What? I’m confused, is this a game? Is it a sex game, somehow?” LMAO and big hearts at Chidi, the guy who wanted all the world’s answers, being totally fine with whatever Eleanor has ever done, whether he gets to read it in her file or not (Eleanor is the answer ❤️)

LHFKJHKJHGKJGH VICKY AKA REAL ELEANOR AKA FAKE MICHAEL COMING BACK TO VOLUNTEER AS THE IN-BETWEEN PLACE’S FIRST ARCHITECT:

(Also Vicky’s right, she looks super hot, this is perfect lighting, outfit, makeup, everything)

SCREAMS at Chidi concluding based on every insane thing that Eleanor has ever done that actually she’s coped pretty well and she’s super interesting and it is he that’s too boring for her 😂 He is so funny 

HAHAHAHAHA I know she brought up this thread of looking up the sexuality of presidents earlier but: 

Me 🤝 Eleanor 

Constantly trying to assess everyone we read about (or watch) to see if they’re bisexual

“Are you saying... Janet might get bored of me?” Chidi has passed his eternal romantic dread onto Jason like a common cold

“Think of it as, flattening the penises of their heart.” “Oh! Now it makes sense.” Vicky Bad Place: Demon Educator 

“Once on Earth, I didn’t know something and I had to ask Alexa. I felt dirty.” HAHAHAHAHA

Me 🤝 Janet

Having a one-sided grudge with Alexa 

Poor Michael, his purpose for so long has been solving problems, he doesn’t know what to do without something to overcome (mood)

OMG JASON TRICKED CHIDI INTO TALKING HIMSELF OUT OF HIS ROMANTIC DREAD 💝 THAT’S MY MAN. STREET SMARTS!!!! 

It tickles me whenever they mention what they actually are underneath the skin suits. I hope someone has drawn Michael and Vicky having this workplace conversation as a Fire Squid and Acid Snake

“Turns out that saving every soul in the universe is worth a few points.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THEM!

Honestly all of these things considered, I still have trouble believing in the Good Place as they’ve previously described it, so I have no idea what these last couple episodes are going to be about

God I love these five people and not-people so much:

What, I wonder, would you do if you have a fear of heights, if the only way to go to the Good Place is via hot air balloon? 

“What if that’s some sort of demon alarm to alert the cops that I’m here?” THE HEAVEN COPS, MICHAEL? THERE ARE COPS IN HEAVEN? 

Also 

Me 🤝 Michael

Being uncomfortable in sacred places and assuming you’re going to be persecuted for a crime you didn’t know you committed

STOPPPP this is such a funny candy, I DO miss the energy I had when I was twelve:

Hahahaha, the fact that all the male philosophers are not in the Good Place. That tracks 

MICHAEL GETTING TO BE A GOOD PLACE ARCHITECT 🥺❤️ IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES, PLEASE BE REAL

“This room is filled some of the most interesting people that ever lived. Chat them up, learn about their lives, then meet back here so that we can make fun of them.” Eleanor’s first advice in the Good Place is not the most kind-spirited LMAO

“Now you are officially in charge of the Good Place [...] You’re the boss now. That was all legally binding, and we all quit, effective immediately.” I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICOUS LMAO

THIS IS WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE GOOD PLACE, IMMEDIATELY IT’S SASS AND TRICKERY LMAO

“You gotta help us, we are so screwed.” AHA!!! THE OTHER GOOD PLACE SHOE DROPS

“I would’ve killed for a vaccine. Any vaccine. It’s crazy that you guys just don’t like them now.” THE FACT THIS EP AIRED IN JANUARY OF 2020 LMAO. They really touched a timely nerve

Omggggg okay so we’re getting into the Good Place Problem: Being in infinite supply of experiences and desires, your brain atrophies?????

I guess this entire group of people has also been left unattended for 500 years which doesn’t help

“We need to find the Committee.” “The Committee is me. I am Committee. It me.” Me when I say ‘we’ about my job as if I am not literally the only person in my department:

I honestly don’t know if I buy into the idea that death and finite experience is the only thing that gives life meaning. I think the idea of having some agency in whether or not you continue your afterlife makes sense. But the implication you cannot sustain a life based on happiness, or that struggle is what gives people personhood, doesn’t sit right with me. Personhood is an act of love for yourself and others

“And when you’re ready, walk through one last door and be at peace.” I DO like that this acknowledges that for some people, paradise is not infinite consciousness but can also be found in letting go of consciousness

Hypatia said: Maybe the real Good Place was the friends we found along the way (she was right)

“I think that’s what the Good Place is. It’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.” Chidi said: I second that, Hypatia

[Sarcastically but sweetly, after Eleanor jokingly threatens to leave] “I’ll miss you.” CHIDIIIIIIIIII

OMG TEACHING ETHICS LESSONS IN THE GOOD PLACE, BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE BETTER THAN THEY WERE THE DAY BEFORE ❤️

“Never not excited about frogs, that guy.” ME TOO JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN AKA BURT HUMMEL, FROG DESK SOLIDARITY

“At one point, hundreds of Bearimys ago, I turned off my ability to know what time it is anywhere in the universe when you and I are together.” JANET UR SO ROMANTIC, JASONJANET X INFINITY

Awwww it tracks that Jason would be the first person to be certain his needs were met. But that’s so complicated when your partner is an infinite being like Janet!!! Like what are the mechanics of dealing with a loss that is the cessation of someone who matters most to you

Shout-out to Young Doug Forcett, who is firmly done with his pisswater era

“I really am okay. I promise.” “Will you come talk to me if you’re not?” “Always.” Michaellll 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Janet!!!!

“I’m scared Janet’s gonna forget me. Here falling in love with someone else, I’d be fine with that. Like if Jason Momoa or Lara Croft, Tomb Raider gets in, and Janet’s like, ‘That’s what up,’ totally cool! But her forgetting me would be sad.” JASONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

A LOCKET SO JANET CAN ALWAYS HAVE A PART OF JASON WITH HER, I AM SO SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:

“To me, remembering moments with you is the same as living them.” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

“Can you just remember the happy times and forget the bad stuff?” “There was no bad stuff. It was all good.” I AM IN TEARSSSSS 

I love Tahani being in her Crafty Girl Afterlife Era

Tahani and Kamilah representing the absolute flabbergastedness one experiences when a parent admits a wrongdoing or has a learning experience:

Tahani having a special last goodbye with her best friends even after healing all of the other relationships, because the Soul Squad/Team Cockroach/Team Humanity is her first and chosen family 😭❤️

“I admire you so very much. Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, not to mention... you have a rockin’ bod.” OH HOW THE TURN TABLES, TAHANI!!!! 

“I want to learn to do what you do, Michael. I want to be an architect, design afterlives.” MY GIRL TAHANI GETTING HER PURPOSE IN LIFE

“I hope you don’t mind if I brag about knowing you.” “Name dropping is a little gauche, Michael, but do as you must.” Tahaniiiiii. I do love how her story is wrapping up

I enjoy that Uzo gets to see Chidi post-his 800-Universe-Decision-Making-Immersion-Therapy. 

Eleanor trying her hardest to keep Chidi in the afterlife even though he’s almost done 😭 Also the pictures of the four humans in Michael’s office

“If you leave, then I’m alone here.” AHHHH ELEANOR. They’ve really turned the afterlife into Earth Lite

“Can we eat words? Because I’ve asked Janet about this and—” Chidi said: One day an academic rival told me I’d eat my words and it’s been my dream ever since

Eleanor loving Chidi enough to let him go vs. Chidi loving Eleanor enough to hold in for several bearimys that he has been ready to leave 💔

CHIDI SAYING GOODBYE WITH A SEXY CALENDAR. HE KNOWS THE LOVE OF HIS (AFTER)LIFE:

SCREAM JASON WAITING FOR JANET TO COME BACK TO THE FOREST FOR A THOUSAND BEARIMYS. THANK YOU FOR IMMEDIATELY HEALING THE WOUND OF CHIDI LEAVING HAHAHAHAA

“I sort of just sat quietly and let my mind drift away, thought about you and the infinity of the universe.” “Kind of like a monk.” JANET HAS BEEN WAITING OVER 4 WHOLE SEASONS TO MAKE THIS JOKE HAHAHAHA

ALSO HOW COULD JANET, WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, NOT KNOW THAT JASON WAS STILL AROUND

Dhkjfhjkfhfkjh it would be very weird if Eleanor’s actual unfinished business was Mindy St. Claire of the Medium Place

Update from 1 minute later: It was not 

Tahani saying, “As I neither live nor breathe,” is a fun little line

Michael being unable to cope without something productive to fill his time ghjkghgkjhg. Anxiety icon 

“I’m gonna be...” “A real boy, Pinocchio.” MICHAEL GETS TO BE HUMAN? I LOVE THAT FOR HIMMMMM ❤️‍🩹

“I won’t exactly know what’s going to happen after I die. Nothing more human that that. Besides texting people that you’re five minutes away when you haven’t even left the house.” How many Bearimys does it take for us to evolve past phones hahahahaha

Does mean that Eleanor will be in charge of The Good Place?? White women dominating the non-profit industry strike again (I kid)

MICHAEL GIVING JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN A REAL FROG!!!! I LOOOOVE HIM

Kinda wild that Michael starts his human life at like, what, age 50? That’s like 30-40 years if he’s lucky. Why doesn’t he get to start as a baby? Not consistent enough?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL NAMING HIS DOG AFTER JASON:

“I hate to see you walk through the final door at the edge of existence, but I love to watch you leave.” ICONIC GOODBYES FROM JANET AND ELEANOR, ONE OF THE STRONGEST DYNAMICS IN THE SHOW

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL’S EARTH NAME BEING MICHAEL REALMAN

I truly wondered how this show would end and I guess the glowing embers of Eleanor’s last bit of existence blessing Michael with a Coyote Joe’s card while he says to a good samaritan, his friends, and by extension the audience, “Take it sleazy,” is as good a way as any! 

Final thoughts: I really do love the way this show is written, how everything is intentional, how it’s so focused on love and connection and growth, and how each season manages to engage you with a different question. It’s interesting how, although they often use Heaven as a point of reference, this ending was a bit more Hindu/Buddhist in its leanings (i.e. liberation from physical incarnation/rebirth—and in the sense their testing system as that reincarnation cycle—through the accumulation of positive karma or liberation from desire). Ironically, even as someone who is Hindu, I still do think personhood is an act of love, and I feel like that ‘love for love’s sake,’ idea was a little lost in these final few episodes. But all the same, going into it this was my favourite show (even having only seen 2 seasons) and it still is. It’s a good show!!!! I love every character, and I feel satisfied with their stories! 

[pavo-ocxllus]

« rewind. / pause. / fast forward. »

the illustrious fontaine legal firm was a workplace that every student would love to work under once they graduate from the hell that was law school.

whenever a high-profile case hits the media, chances were that the an attorney from that agency would appear not even a day later, solving it with ease. (and not to mention, the salary was a little bit more than just mouthwatering.)

you were (naturally) elated once you received news that you earned a job there starting the moment you walked through the glass doors ahead of you. your heart was beating in anticipation as your lips were tucked into a seemingly permanent smile. it wasn't even after you set your hand on the door when questions started pouring in—what were your co-workers going to be like? are they obnoxiously snobby regarding the prestige they held with their profession? perhaps they were more humble about their accomplishments? (even though they literally took down a fatui head not even a week earlier.)

unfortunately, your questions remained unanswered once you were met with a sudden chair nearing your face.

"watch it!"

you weren't even able to close your eyes to brace for impact with how quickly everything was moving. one moment, the chair that was about to give you a a career-ending concussion (get a hold of yourself—this is the legal field, not a sports field!) and the next, it was out of your sight, replaced by arms wrapped around your figure.

"itto! for goodness sake- the police aren't out to get you!" a green-haired woman was quick to appear, an irk mark appearing at her forehead at the scene that just played before her.

"c'mon, shinobu! you never know!" the tall man who she was referring to simply scoffed, already armed with another chair.

"well, with that logic, you shouldn't be trusting us either," she rolled her eyes, ignoring 'itto's' protests and focused her attention towards the entrance. you were quick to notice that these two voices didn't match up with the first one you've heard. "and heizou... what did i say about hugging up on our new workers?!"

you looked to the side, finding a young, maroon-haired man who's arms were loosening from your body as he raised his hands up. "aww, but shinobu... i was only trying to protect them... and think about it this way, it was only an orientation for our precious, new attorney!"

"yeah, an orientation at hr and filing a harassment lawsuit," she grumbled under her breath and pinching her nose as she fixed up her mask. "now, don't you have a job to do?"

"it's my break, remember-?"

"the break that lasted for half of your working hours? i'm sure i do... just get back to your office," the woman sighed, shaking her head once 'heizou' started to go along his way. "i'm sorry about those two... my name is kuki shinobu, i work in human resources."

slightly surprised by how quickly she got over this little spat, you reached to shake her extended hand. "ah, it's uh- nice to meet you."

though her mask obstructed most of her face, you could tell by her violet eyes that she was grinning. however, this expression was short lived once she dusted herself off a bit, going behind you to grab the thrown chair resting on the ground. "unfortunately, we can't give you a proper orientation, but i'll send you on you way to yanfei to explain everything—oh, speak of the devil."

at the moment, you followed shinobu's line of sight to find a pink-haired woman strolling by with enormous books, binders, and piles of paperwork in her grasp. you couldn't help but feel a small shiver up your spine: if this is what you'll deal with everyday, working here might infringe on your labor rights.

a little too focused on heaving her pile of work, shinobu cleared her throat to attract her attention.

"ah- hi there!" she greeted, somehow not stumbling when a book on top of her stack started slipping. once she found a nearby desk, she was swift to set everything there, evening out the pile while she was at it. "you must be our new attorney! i'm yanfei, i'm a legal advisor here (and hopefully future co-worker!), and i believe that you already have your first case!"

first job? on you first day? you were only in the general vicinity of this firm for sub 5 minutes at most—you didn't even receive your i.d. badge!

"here... it's nothing major. our boss may believe in throwing someone out into the professional world to see how they fare, but it's not like they're a sadist!" yanfei's words didn't exactly help your shocked state as she beckoned you towards the desk she set her paperwork on top of, pre-laid manila folders sitting before you. "as you can see... we're slightly understaffed here... but think about it as your unauthenticated orientation! you receive experience, and we keep our heads above the water for the time being!"

you've only been here for a short fraction of time compared to many of your new colleagues and barely even started your new job, yet you're already way in over your head! regardless, it wasn't like you've had a choice right now...

you glided your fingers across the folders spread across the table, and eventually, you decided to sift through the contents, glossing your eyes over the words before closing it and moving on to the next file.

with a deep sigh, you decide to...

↳ pick up the folder blatantly labeled "itto's case." it took you a good few minutes to decipher it with the abhorrent handwriting.

↳ shift your gaze towards the file that's noticeably lacking in papers compared to the older folders.

↳ hold the case that caught your eye, checking it once more to see if your eyes were deceiving you. there was no way this person was going to court...

↳ remember seeing the fatui head's name pop up in one of the files, you grab it quickly to check through it again. wait... you're defending him?!

↳ not even bothering to look at folders for a second time, you turn on your heel to walk past shinobu and yanfei, heading to the exit.

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫? 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞! <𝟑

[mybrainrotforreal]

Hector and Charlie keep their relationship in secret and yet, they make everyone feels single af

(i'm new on tumblr and finally find how to make the font itallic 🥺)

Y'know, I was fact checking about FBI agent dating each other and I found this

So yeah they definitely need to keep their relationship in secret since Hector outranks Charlie. They call each other last name, they don't discuss personal matters in the office and they try to keep their hands from each other but!

- The entire office realizes Charlie is wearing a jacket bigger than his size and Hector is now wearing his beige coat after Charlie lost his jacket from the fire. Even when the official jacket is already in stock, Charlie doesn't order it.

- Whenever one of them take a sick leaves, the other will ask for a leave or work from home

- It's literally summer and Charlie wears turtleneck and Hector is in a very good mood. (He doesn't glare at everyone).

- Hector literally eye fucks him whenever he looks at Charlie and sometimes it makes Charlie lowers his gaze, blush creeps on his cheek.

Betty, from the administration : *looking at them* *is ready to stab her eyes with a stapler*

- It was raining, Hector opens his umbrella for Charlie and as they walk in the rain to get home, Hector puts his arm around Charlie's shoulders and positions the umbrella towards the younger man so it covers him more. Making sure he won't be wet.

Richard, another field agent who walks behind them : *using his own jacket over his head, hoping a car would slip and hit him when he crossed the street*

- It was autumn, when Hector get back to their office, he got leaves and dried flower on his shoulder. Charlie couldn't help himself to stroke his shoulder with care to get rid of them.

Jason, who just get back from catching criminals last night and got flu from the cold wind: *silently hoping his snot would totally block his nostril and die*

- They have office night out and Charlie gets really really drunk, he latches onto Hector like an octopus, unintentionally risking their dirty little secret.

Hector : *acknowledging this, takes him in his arm and carry him gently, bridal style* I'll drive him home, it's dangerous if he go home alone in this state

Kate, the field agent who agrees to the night out because she just got dumped : yeah, sure *continues to drink, close to alcohol poisoning*

- Charlie : *dutifully hands over his hat to Hector, who needs to go for a meeting with their informant* Take care, Agent Munday. Text me when you get there.

Hector : *takes the hat and when their fingers touch, he lingers for a second* *nods then leaves*

Erin, the new rookie : *watching the interaction and asks Charlie * awww, you guys are so cute. How long have you been married? Are FBI agents prohibited to wear wedding ring?

Charlie : *chokes on his own spit* we- we are not married! *later that night, when they are having dinner* Hector, why are we not married?

Hector : *misses his steak when he cuts it* you want to marry me? 🥺🥺🥺

Months later, they plans to marry and Charlie went to the HR

Charlie : I'm sorry but I have to tell you that Hector and me have been dat--

Catherine, the HR officer who mourns her single life everyday since these two teamed up : WE KNOW!

[parkminijiminie]

Your consideration is actually very very right and the most sensible one currently so don't think that you're the only one who's thinking that way cause i believe the same.

If jm can travel 16 hrs and go directly to jk to spend few hrs of his birthday with him then nothing is stopping anyone to meet one another on the birthday given this specific circumstances. The similar thought used to come to my mind during jimin's album that if jk actually was missing this much then what's best than to go meet him on one of his mv set or music show or anything where jm was working and needed that physical support but nothing like that happened meaning there wasn't anything to going on to began with.

last year jimin was actually busy working on his album plus at the exact one day before jungkook's birthday a producer went to korea and he was supposed to meet jm for the new music and they (jm nd producer) met on jk's birthday so jm was busy that day but he still made sure that he's meeting jk with hobi. These are the only two apart from jin met jk on his birthday that year. Jm didn't even met RM last year on his birthday even tho they're basically neighbours but met jk on his birthday.

See jm told what he did with everyone on his birthday so why would he not tell about jk? That's because they didn't do anything together. I'm sure jk wished jm on 12am itself but that's nothing special all frnds do that.

Many jkkrs thinking it's not a big deal blah blah must not know how it goes between ppl in relationships like no matter what you're never busy for your partner especially when you're celebrity. The end is gonna be like tkkrs only delusional and all for those tye of jkkrs but let them be if they wanna believe what they wanna believe.

I could add other things too but feels drained atp so yeah anyways, jimin said he's very happy these days and jk is doing is things with his album what more could we ask for..

Anon 2: Same. I think they're no longer together and I think jkkrs shouldn't keep high hopes for something to happen on 11/8. It will most likely be another jk schedule. And if it was something with jm, I believe it would be work related, like some new jk's show featuring jm.

Anon 3: the way jkkrs are now saying jkk aren't obliged to share things with us remind me of what tkkrs use to say

....

All three of you mention something that I have also noticed with Jikookers nowadays. How come if JK had posted, all of the blogs would be over the moon, but now that he didn't, it suddenly doesn't matter? Are we supposed to pretend we didn't hope for something? That we didn't wait for it? At what point does it become acceptable for us to say that maybe things aren't so lovey-dovey in the Jikook world?

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

is there a story behind meeting new Mr oatmilk that you want to share w the class?<3 (ps he sounds like a well deserved upgrade)

sure!! so btw he took the photos of me at the cemetery/my current pfp!!

him and i have actually known each other for probably like 6 years or so. when we first met, he was married and we didnt really talk we just had a lot of mutual friends bc we like the same music and go to a lot of the same shows and we would just see each other in passing. he ended up telling me he was intrigued by me bc i had done a photoshoot and my pfp when we met was me holding a butcher knife in a wednesday addams outfit, and he said he knew i had to be an interesting person from that alone. he is quite shy though. we would also see each other places but never really said more than hi to one another. he got divorced in 2020, we talked a little then, but not really. then he dated his now most current ex, more or less bc she basically cornered him into a relationship while he was just getting over his divorce and homegirl needed a place to stay. hes told me he regrets it and said he literally should have kept trying with me bc being shy with me would have been a hell of a lot better than how things worked out for the 2.5 years of abuse she put him through. (his words)

last year we started talking a lot bc he was posting a lot of concerning stuff to his insta private story and so i kind of talked him thru his abusive relationship he was currently in and he mentioned he really needed a close friend. we ended up becoming gym partners for a bit before both our now exs went batshit over it and our friendship as a whole. and we stopped talking for a bit...and then we would talk a little here and there. and we both mutually agreed we were both in shit relationships.

around may, he texted me and told me him and his ex finally broke it off after months of him trying (long story) but he still wanted to at least be my friend again bc he missed me a lot. and i told him i was also dealing with more or less trying to leave my fiance. this is actually around the time i found the flashdrive full of nudes from other women ex mr oatmilk was keeping from me. and i finally left mr oatmilk after he tried to go thru my phone while i was in the shower, which prompted an argument about why it didnt matter who i was friends with bc he couldnt stop entertaining other women and i even pulled out the flashdrive and was like yeah im done.

so me and new mr oatmilk started hanging out more. he would go on walks with me after work. or we would go back to being gym buddies. or we would grab dinner. go to a bookstore. i helped him pick out stuff for his new apartment.

i asked him if he wanted to go see the cure with me at the end of last month and he surprised me by paying for a 2 night hotel stay for us instead of us just driving 2 hrs. and thats also when we went to the cemetery to walk around bc he knew id like it. thats pretty much when we decided we were actually an item.

i helped him move into a new apartment last weekend. and tonight im surprising him with making him dinner. ive pretty much stayed over since he moved in, which is funny bc he got a smaller bed than he would normally get bc he originally told me he didnt wanna feel lonely since it's just him...but he has only spent like one night alone since living there lol.

whats really fucked up tho is his ex is always trying to instigate with me...from doxing me in a bar bathroom, to literally driving by his new place to see if i am there. and shes friends with my ex now too. she's harassed me via text and social media, too. but it's fine, i dont usually engage. which pisses her off.

him and i are happy 🥰 hes honestly lovely.

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

Call Of Duty Fanfic: Welcome Home

John PriceXMaleOc Part 2: Trigger Warning Gun Violence, War, Blood, Anxiety Attacks and PTSD

Okay here is part 2.

I have been taking my time with his and I have say this had been helping me get back into writing a bit. And I can saftly say I am Call Of Duty Trash. John Price is my husband.

Right next, Aizawa, Gojo and Nanami. and Charles Smith and Arthur Morgan.

The pasta and meatballs with a beautiful bottle of red german wine like being at fancy food at 5 star restaurant.

John was sitting and eating listening to Luka talk about, well, anything.

It didn't matter what.

John just sat across from the small kitchen, a relaxed smile on his face listening to sound Luka's voice, hr took everything detail of his facial expression, and the tone of his tone as speak.

It was music too ears.

Being away from his beloved his husband for 2 long month was always hard on him, and wanted to make it up for all that happen.

John just sat there with soft smile on his face has Luka was going off about the paperwork that he had to get done.

"... I had spend 2 days getting some files updated. 2 days!" Luka snaps. "I swear to god if I have sign another piece of paper I am going lose my shit."

"Heh. That's a shame." said John. "I have loads of paperwork I have when I get back to base, I was hopping you do some of it for me."

He smiles when Luka gave him a glare.

"No."

"Well worth a shote, eh?"

Luka took one last sip of his wine. "Despite how soul sucking the updating the paperwork and failing was: it wasn't." He said. "Creed really saved the day for me. She help with all the rest of the paperwork. So I am basically on top of things.” He is finished his wine and was about to pick his plate and was about to get up John was already too his feet.

“No, no. Let me wash the dishes."

Luka looked up. "Oh, I can wash them. It’s big deal. I can--." He was then cut off when John walked around small table and places his hand onto Luka's.

"Dearest, let me do it."

Luka just blinks and gave him a sweet smile and said: "Alright."

John just smiles and leans in giving his sweet kiss and pick Luka's plate and wine glass and began walking over to the sink.

"What else happen?" he asked, reaching for the dish soap.

"Besides the paperwork… Really nothing. Just same old things."

"Heh. Come now, something must have happen when I was gone for the past 2 months, Pet. Tell me." said John, with a soft smile on his face.

"Um... Okay. I finally finished those two paintings there have been ignoring for weeks, and I through my clutter and clean up art studio."

"Oh. You have show me. What else?"

Luka thought for a moment, began talking about small things here and there, and John just listened taking every dental on what he was saying.

John finally felt more and more relax, and after facing all the horrors that he had face over the past few months, he wanted to feel somewhat human for a bit.

Washing the dishes was a good start and brought him a sense of ease.

However he did still awful about making Luka cry before. After last weeks mission which almost put in his men in bad spot and caused them their lives, making Luka worry too death.

He hated that put so much stress and pain on him. John wanted to make it up to him someone.

"Oh, I nearly forgot." said Luka, standing up. "Laswell and I did meet up about the New recruit from America. Bryce Green." said Luka.

"How is he so far?" asked John.

Luka made annoyed face. "He's an asshole."

John places the last plate onto the rack and turns to look him. "How so?"

"Ahhhh, just some young punk who thinks he's hot shit. I have been helping out training some of the newer recruits, and he's been trying to tell how to do my job. He was recently promoted to Lieutenant before he came to U.K. And he thinks he can call the shots. Pfff ! Jerk…”

John just looked at him, and asked: "Has he been rude to you?"

"Well. yeah. But really he's not the first person to be rube too me. Not a big deal."

John now ever serious said: “If someone is being rube too you, Love, it is a very big deal."

"John, sweetheart, it's really not." said Luka standing up, and walking over to him. "And you really think I'm going to let some idiot get the best me."

"Heheh. No, never." John amused.

"Good." Luka grins and leaning giving him a sweet kiss. John wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer.

After a few moments, they pulled away and Luka said:

"Alright. Now that we are both happy and red, why don't you grab a shower and we both can get ready for bed."

"And if I do so, would you be joining me~?" asked John, with a bit of smirk on his face.

"I-I, um..." Luka stemmed, his a bit red. "I-I... could. I-If you want me too."

"Oh, I do, Dearest.~." John whispers. "And it's an order~."

Before Luka knew it he was swept up off his feet and was hoisted over John's shoulder.

"J-John!?" Luka snapped his face beat red.

"Right then. Let's a have a shower." John said, brightly patting Luka's backside.

"H-Hey! C'mon, you idiot! Put me down! J-John!"

John just humming to himself as he was carrying Luka, who gave up, and the began making their way up the stairs.

After a whole a John came walking of the bathroom, a towel warped around his middle. He walked across the master bedroom, to his dresser.

As he opens it and was pulling a pair of sweat past and night shirt, Luka came walking out fully clothed and drying his hair with a towel.

"I'll head to shop in the morning." said John.

"I can do it." said Luka.

"Hahah. I insist, Luka." John amused putting on plain white shirt. "Plus I need to pick my cigars. I ran out my favorite brand a few days ago. So it's no problem." He turns to him. "After I'll take you out to dinner too that nice restaurant you fancy so much."

Luka was about say something, then stopped and looked at John. He realize the dark circles under his eyes. Luka didn't notice how exhausted John looked.

Luka starred at him. John watched with for a few moments.

"Something wrong, Pet?"

"... You... just tied." said Luka, walking over and placing his on the side of his face. "I mean really tied."

John felt his chest cliched. "... Is that advice?"

"Yeah..." said Luka. "Look, John... I want you take easy."

"Haha. I am." John said, with a smile on his face. "I've been taking it easy since I got home. I'm fine."

Sighing Luka said: "John, look at me." He places both his hands over his face. "... It's just me. Sweetheart, okay? It's only me."

John's eyes widen as his blue eyes looked into those handsome brown eyes.

"You know you don't have it from me... You know that."

John felt his lips quivering when he heard Luka say that. Without saying a word, he pulled him into arms. Luka wraps his arms wrap John, rubbing the back his head.

The two said nothing for a while.

John rested his forehead against Luka's letting a shallow breath, he was breathing heavily.

"... I would go absolutely mad if I didn't have you."

Luka just smiles, and gave him a kiss.

"C'mon. Let's get some sleep."

John just gives a sweet smile and nods. "Roger that."

"Honey, no soldier talk when you're home."

"Roger that, dear."

Luka just gives John an annoyed expression, who just him a soft amused expression, then two began getting for bed.

As soon as John's body hit the mattress it suddenly hit him all at once. His body felt more heavier than he remember. It was everything that happen over the past 2 months had finally weighted down on to him. He could not remember the last he felt this.

He lets out low groans has he felt himself skinning into the bed.

Luka laid down right next to John, and pulled the blankets over him. John lets out long huge yawn rubs his eyes.

"Bloody hell... I-I didn't realize how tied I really am..." He lets another yawn and reached his arms out too Luka. "Come here."

Luka smiles, and cuddles up next to John resting his head on his chest. As he did that John wraps his arm around him, taking his left hand into his and gently kissing his knuckles.

"I have truly missed this." John said, softly.

"Me too."

"And... Luka, darling, about earlier... I-I'm sorry if I made you cry."

"... N-no, John, sweetheart... You didn't anything." said Luka. "Let's forget about it and sleep, okay?"

John just hums.

"I love you, John."

John felt his eyes welling up with tears, when Luka said.

How can one person be good too someone like him?

"I-I... love you too, Luka. I love you so much."

John just held him closer, at and the two stayed like that until they both feel asleep.

The sounds of gun shots and people shouting could be heard in his skull. It could see that he standing behind all, as bullets were wizzing past.

He could sound of his men yelling over the radios, and sound of explosions and the walls and building caving all around, the sound yells and shouts of his men began too fading in the background.

John eyes snapped open.

His version was blurry at first and his was breathing heavily as felt his heart his beating against his chest. John eyes wonder and fell onto Luka's peacefully sleeping form, and he felt himself calm down.

John's lets out a sigh of relief. As he took a few moments trying to calm himself a bit. He lifted up right hand and looked at his watch.

It read 1:45 am

"Shit..." John thought, letting right arm slowly fall onto face cover. "... Another fucking nightmare."

He didn't move for after a moment, and tried to go back too sleep but after sometime he couldn't.

Letting out a defeat sigh, John thought about getting some paperwork before he had to go into the base

He slowly and gently as possible got up from bed. As soon he moved Luka lets out a groan and slowly sat up a bit.

"Huh...? What...'s happening...?"

"Shhhhhh. It's just me, Pet. Just going to use the toilet." said John, sweetly.

Luka just nodded and lays back down. "... 'kay, hon. ..." He lays down. "J-Just wash your hands after you're done..."

"Hahahah. I will." said John, with a chuckle.

He sat there, looking down at Luka's peacefully face. John reached out and brushed the bits of hair and just looked at him.

He could not understand. He never understood how a bloke like him ended up with man like Luka.

Too John he was a man among men.

Brave, Selfless, Kind.

A man who can stand his sound ground and can fight back when he needs to.

A true gentleman.

John smiles slowly at down a Luka, and slowly leans down and places a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Be right back, Love."

He slowly stood from the bed and walked out the bed.

The next morning, Luka was began waking up. He didn't open his eyes at first, but slowly shifted under the covers has he was reaching out for John.

"Morning, honey." He tried feeling for him, but John wasn't lying next him. Now slowly sitting up and rubbing the sleep out his eyes and Luka looked down at the empty spot that right next him.

"... Hmmm... Guses went the store..."

Luka not thinking too much about it, Luka lets out a big sleepy yawn, and pulled the covers off of him.

The bedroom was slightly dark, and wanting to get some sunlight began making his over way too the large square bedroom window that on his side and began pulling back the curtains.

The window looked out to the backyard that had large old stone fence, where small garden bed where there flower bed. Luka looked out, and saw that it didn't snow that much, thankfully, and after few moments he began walking too the bathroom to get ready for the day.

He brushed his teeth and wanted to shave the bit of stubble from his face after cleaning himself a bit, he began walking the dresser where he had left his too charge for the night, and check too see the time.

It was about 8:48 am, and he did see that John had left a text.

*Headed to shop.*

*Won't belong long.

*John*

He was read the text while walking down the walking down the stairs. He began reaching the bottom and walked down the the way that at the end where the kitchen was.

He could someone talking, and can sleep fresh bacon in. Thinking that John had just come home from the store, Luka lets out another yawn and said:

"Morning, babe. Hope you sleep well."

"Well, yes, I did, Sweetumts." said male voice.

This caught Luka off guard, and looked there Kyle Garrick, was standing in front the stove making stable eggs and bacon, he loved over at Luka and gave him grin.

"Oh... Kyle. I didn't expect to see you here." said Luka, then looks at the kitchen table and there sitting was Ghost. He had his mask but was lifted showing his chin and mouth.

He picked up a hot cup of tea and took a sip.

"And Ghost, too. Hey." said Luka, with smile small smile.

Ghost just looks up and nods.

Just then someone came right up behind Luka and said: "Ah! 'here he is. Mornin', Lu."

"AAGH! S-Soap, hello. Good morning." said Luka, turning Johnny MacTavish. "Good too see you."

"Aw, c'mere," said Johnny, and pulled the older man into a hug. "Grea' to see yae, old man."

"Haha. You too, you dumpass." Luka amused, and hugged him back.

As the two broke away Kyle turns his head to Ghost. "Oy, Ghost, mind takin’ over cookin’ for me?"

"Sure." said Ghost, who stood up and walking over to the stove, has Kyle rushed over to Luka. Johnny stepped a side has Kyle hugged Luka.

"I'm glad you too see all of you." said Luka said, hugging Kyle tightly. "Are... you guys doing, okay? After... You know?"

"We're good, mate." said Kyle, pulling away. When he did Luka saw the Kyle had pretty large bandage on the right side of his.

"Woah, Kyle, what happen?" asked Luka, a bit worried, pointing at the bandage.

"Oh, this?" said Kyle, placing a hand over head. "It's just a few stitches from that last mission we head last week. But don't worry, it's healin’.”

"How... How many stitches did you get?"

"5."

“Hm… That… hat's not so bad. Still I think you should Dr. Jones at some point"

Kyle smiles and: "Yes sir."

Luka clears his throat and looks around the room. "Well, since you guys are here, I should at least put on something a little more put together..." He looks down at his PJ's witch was black t-shirt and sweats.

"At least you're not just tighty-whities," said Ghost, the looks at Johhny.

Johnny scoffed. "What are yea implyin', L.T.?

"Ghost is implyin’ too put on a fuckin’ pants, Soap." said Kyle, turning his whole. "No one wants too see you walkin’ around your nothin’ but your underwear."

"What's this 'bout?! A man need to let himself breath down there. Ya lads should understand better anyone!.

"... Y-Yeah, you do have point, Soap, but still I would be caught dead in just my underwear and nothing else." said Luka.

"Oh, Lu, c'mon, lad. No need to feel shame." said Johnny.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!" Snapped Luka, and place over face. "My god... It's too early for this. I'm … going to get dress…”

And he walks over the kitchen.

After a few a bit Luka came walking back downstairs, with dark blue shirt and jeans. As he reach the finally he saw Ghost standing at the bottom.

“Something you need, Ghost?”

“Y-Yeah, been meanin’ to ask.” Ghost said, looking at the kitchen making sure no one was listening. "How has Ellie been when I’ve been away?”

Luka paused at first: "She's fine. She was... emotioanl wreck last when you guess went missing. Hell we both were."

Ghost didn’t say anything just looked at him,

Ghost was looking at him, and lowers his head. "Fuck…” he places his over face.

“Whoa! Hey, hey, Ghost.,” Luka reached and places a hand over shoulder. “It’s okay. She's okay, mostly you and rest of the guys are okay.” He gives Ghost a smile. “That all that matter.”

"R-Righ'." said Ghost, sighing softly. "Sorry. Jus’ needed to ask…”

"Hey, hey. Don't be. I understand." Luka smiles.

"Heh. Thanks, Lu."

"Anytime."

"Oy, breakfast is ready!" called from the kitchen.

"I could 'ave 'elp cook, ya know." said Soap.

"No way in bloody hell I would let you near a stove again."

"Oh, god. Not this again, Gaz."

"Mate, almost bunrt the base kitchen. Twice."

“Be right there!” Luka called and looked at Ghost. “You wanna join us?" asked Luka.

"No thanks. Goin' for a walk." said Ghost.

"Alright." Luka smiles at him, know he was going to see Ellie. He then walk Ghost to door, and open for him. John was walking up the the path way with a few bags in a hand.

He looked up and saw Ghost walking down the pathway.

"You're leaving already?"

"Need to check on somethin'." said Ghost.

John just shrugged. "Enjoy your day off." And he took the grocery bags into the house.