#yeah yeah writing reasons whatever

[bucksdaffy]

"WHEN they INEVITABLY break up" oh honey bucktommy is endgame, there is no breaking up, they're the IT couple actually, tim told me that himself

[arcadecoconut]

There's a lot of great meta about how Bells Hells never seemed to realise how powerful they became over the course of the campaign, and how this skewed perspective gave them a strange and at times hypocritical relationship to authority. There's also been a lot of discussion about how having a single-focus plot established early in the campaign was detrimental to individual character development, but I don't think I've seen much about how the single-focus plot is directly connected to their ignorance about their own power level. I think one of the key benefits of having various smaller arcs across c1 & c2 was not only that it supported individual character development better, it also gave the parties a sense of their own growing capability and power scale in the greater world. By having distinct arcs with enemies who were overcome and defeated, the PCs have concrete evidence of their own growth. Each arc follows a mini heroes journey too. For the MN, the Lorenzo and Obann arcs both involve PC characters being killed or overtaken early on, setting high stakes and establishing difficulty. Eventually, with persistence and planning, the Nein were able overcome and eventually defeat them. For Vox Machina, it's the Briarwoods, then the Chroma Conclave, then Vecna. At the start of each arc, every mission feels like an impossible task but again with persistence and planning, they conclude each arc in a stronger position - not just on their character sheet, but with concrete in-world elements too - the resources of Whitestone, key allies in powerful government positions, etc. These victories give each party a material sense of their achievement, which is mirrored by their internal acknowledgement, which is so natural it's mostly not explicitly acknowledged unless they're pointing out how they're capable of stepping up and helping more people. Bells Hells, by comparison, got very few distinct arcs. As a result, they never really achieved the same smaller victories to give them a sense of escalating power and agency over the course of the campaign. To be clear, it was possible this could have been achieved anyway, even within the constraints of the moon-plot. Defeating Otohan, defeating or flipping Lilliana, severing the alliance between the Unseelie Court and Ludinus, explicitly winning allies out of The Volition, or the Grim Verity, or Vasselheim and the Judicators - each of these could have been distinct arcs with victory conditions that would have served as markers of Bells Hells growing power. If they'd had concrete mini-goals to achieve along the way to dealing with Ludinus/Predathos, they could have taken time to focus and plan. In this way, we could have gotten larger investment into the world and NPCs. Imagine what it could have done for her personality if the party had to research Otohan’s role in the Apex War! Maybe if they needed to broker peace between the Grim Verity and Vasselheim to unite them against a greater threat, we could have seen Bells Hells establish their own authority in Exandria. Instead, all these potential villains and world building hooks ended up largely ignored or accidentally achieved along the path of some other muddy goal. By not giving the characters this sense of growth, BH and particularly Ashton and Laudna ended up with a very skewed perspective of themselves. They never realise their power grew well above average, putting them in a much more privileged position than the average Exandrian. It’s this skewed perspective - and their resulting attitudes towards various NPCs - which gave many viewers an 'ick' factor about their interactions. I also can't help but juxtapose this with exu: divergence, where the party's relationship to power (both their own and others') has been a core element. Their story has also been conducted over a very short time period in-world, yet their responses show a marked difference in awareness and empathy.

[erinwantstowrite]

i once got a comment from someone that was smth like "you're really good at writing mental breakdowns. a little too good, because i'm worried about you" and yeah. i mean. they really got me there

[mousemannation]

i dont really know how to phrase this but the elephant in the room is that if carlos loses the final he will go back down to no.3. personally, i dont think it achieves anything to want him to win specifically to keep zverev at no.3- there is functionally no difference between 2 and 3, and the issue with zverev isn’t that he’s high ranked, it’s that he faced near zero consequences for being a domestic abuser. There is no tangible retribution in him having “bad” results, and frankly I don’t think it serves anyone to let him dictate the results u want. Basically what im saying is root for carlos bc u like carlos and want him to be no.2, not bc u don’t want zverev to be no.2. And don’t not root for holger bc if he wins zverev will overtake carlos. Holding either of the performances responsible for Zverev’s place in the sport is unfair to them as individuals and largely pointless in addressing the actual issue of zverevs place in the sport.

And as a last note, no player has any moral duty to beat him- and this goes both ways. As in, no player has committed a moral failing in losing to him AND no player has committed a moral victory for beating him. The issues with Zverev are not within the context of the tennis court, they are in the context of the real women he abused, and the fact he is allowed to keep being a professional athlete at all- not whether he’s good at it. It would still be a systemic failing that he can continue playing without consequence if he never made it past challengers.

[vanityangel]

the enemy of my enemy is his cousin who has also tried to murder me on several counts but is still somehow the lesser evil so he is my friend (for like one minute)

[tackykachowch]

By the way, did we ever talk about how stupid it is that they made Silco the reason Felicia died? I don't mean that he killed her personally, but that he jumpstarted violence on a peaceful protest. Because that's sooo who Silco is, right? A character who makes impulsive and poorly thought out decisions, right? A character who goes into a fight headstrong without carefully planning his moves and strategy and just YOLO-ing it, right? Right?? ......sigh

And don't even THINK about giving me the whole "wElL hE cHaNgEd SiNcE tHeN dUh" crap. Even s2 is smart enough to show us him writing something in a notebook in a flashback, which implies that he was the brains behind the Lanes' creation/revolution as a whole. And if he was he would never sabotage his own plans with something so stupid as throwing a single molotov at enforcers. Literally who does that???? Silco we know would probably organize an attack under the guise of a peaceful protest, but not just. Straight-up ruining just a regular peaceful protest. That's stupid. And Silco is the last character in arcane that would do something stupid. Literally the whole plot of season 1 relies on him being intelligent and sneaky with his plans are you kidding me.

[eelclaw]

stupid fucking bastard. i am not coping with the leaks

[g1ngerbeer]

do you think they noticed a change, the first few loops. i think they did. because how could they not, cheng xiaoshi and qiao ling, the two closest friends lu guang has, seeing him walk out of the room through a camera shutter and re-enter changed. diminished, faded, sad, the worn and cracking face of an old photograph. more and more tired each time he dives, further and further back with each attempt. every time a failure. and even as he lets the tides of time weather him more - render him a ghost, it feels like sometimes - even as lu guang changes more and more from the person he used to be, so too does that moment of disconnect in his friends’ eyes shorten and fade. because they don’t know him anymore. the golden stretch of time he spends by their sides before it all goes wrong is sliced thinner and thinner with every photo he uses, his touch blurring the memory with blood. each time he fails they know him less - the first him, the one unburdened by the terrible knowledge he now holds and the weight of too many failures.

soon they will never have known him at all.

Because you would notice if your best friend time travelled from a horrible future, but not if he travelled back so far he erased the person he once was (the person you knew) (the person you loved, first. before you loved this newer-older transparent version, never knowing a difference.)

(and this too is a loss to be grieved, he thinks sometimes in the dead of night to the sound of soft breathing in the bunk below, selfishly. but it is worth it if cheng xiaoshi lives.)

(the death of everything lu guang ever was is worth it if it means cheng xiaoshi lives.)

[foreverppl]

I Put a Spell on You (Because You’re Mine)

Roxanne “Roxy” Rose/Samira Darcy | 1.1k words | IF: Can’t Save Your Love From Dying

God, Samira really doesn’t want to come. Doesn’t want to give Roxanne the satisfaction of making her come, not after the shit she pulled today. She wants to maintain her composure. Say in a sure tone, “Sorry, baby. You just don’t do it for me anymore.”

But Roxanne is fucking into her like her life depends on it. Working her up and tearing her down with each snap of her hips with such ease that it’s almost embarrassing. It is embarrassing.

More than embarrassing, it’s fucking annoying.

And it’s not even fair because Roxanne knows her body so well. She knows every place to linger, where to push, where to pull. Samira becomes absolutely certain she’s fighting a losing battle when she feels Roxanne getting that angle, hitting that spot and instantly something in her stomach is pulling taut and her head’s tilting back and she swears she’s seeing fucking stars behind her eyelids—

And then she’s there, at the tip of the spear. The piercing is sharp and sudden, but it just doesn’t stop. She can feel herself—distantly, very distantly—making a mess of the toy, of Roxanne’s thighs. Even then Roxanne—her lover, her worst enemy, her fucking baby—doesn’t stop working her through it, whispering downright filthy things in her ear until she’s all spent and boneless. And then Samira has to physically halt anymore movement because of the discomfort.

Fuck, she thinks with her sweaty forehead pressed against Roxanne’s shoulder, that’s probably the hardest I’ve ever come.

Roxanne, then: “I think that’s the hardest—“

Samira shuts her up with a searing kiss.

Later that night—or the next morning. Sometime in that nebulous period where one day melts into another, whatever—they find themselves still wrapped up in each other. Bed sheets slung across them, warding off the worst of the chill.

Samira loves it. Luxuriates in the ease of it. These moments somehow always feel the most real. Or the most normal, at least. Whatever normal even means anymore. Those moments when Roxanne’s eyes are unfocused due to sheer exhaustion rather than whatever concoction of drugs and alcohol she’s consumed. Where she gets to have Roxanne all to herself. No pathetic screaming fans or annoying bandmates looking to touch, to harass, to demand attention. Nothing to tempt Roxanne away. Just them. The way it should be.

“I didn’t know it’d get this bad.” Samira starts, whispered voice breaking up the silence. Outside, somewhere below, she hears a car horn. Then a siren. The amalgam of city life drifting into the penthouse at a low hum. None of it can touch them from this high up. Not really. Not now. Samira shuffles back with some intent until she feels Roxanne’s arms tighten around her. Smothering. Secure. “Didn’t think I’d let it.”

“What,” Roxanne mumbles from behind, voice thick with sleep. “What are you talking about?”

“When we first met…” Samira continues on, only distantly registering the question. This is more for her than it is for Roxanne anyhow. Aimless stream of consciousness, whispered aloud in the dead of night. “I did get the impression that you could ruin me, but I figured it’d be a matter of me allowing it to happen. I mostly thought I could—well, this sounds bad, and change you isn’t even necessarily the right wording—but—”

“Fix me, then?” Roxanne cuts in, voice a little more lucid now.

“You’re not broken.” Samira deigns to respond this time, her tone resolute. “Misguided. Misguided, definitely. But not broken.” Not yet.

“Fine,” Samira feels the heat of Roxanne’s breath against her nape as she huffs out the word. “You thought you could… what? Mother me into being one of the many upstanding, reasonable, boring rockstars who go to bed at 9pm and eat quinoa salads or whatever. Is that it?”

Samira rolls her eyes at the heat behind the words, because that really hadn’t been the point she was trying to make at all. She ignores her sarcasm to focus on the part that catches her attention.

“Is that what you think I do?” Samira shifts, suddenly regretting her decision to respond at all. “Mother you?”

Roxanne is silent for a moment, two, then: “Well, you do like being called—“

“One time! That was one fucking time and I just wanted to see - stop laughing!” Samira defends, though relishing in the feel of Roxanne’s laughter vibrating against her back.

Samira has always loved her laughter. Always. Even when it’s the cruel kind. She’s told her this before, she thinks, on one of those late nights where she stayed up long enough to watch her coming down from whatever she took. She loves the look of it on her mouth, the way it sounds. Loves swallowing it up with a kiss, licking the edges of it with her tongue.

“I don’t mean to hurt you, baby.” Roxanne says once her laughter has calmed down. Voice faltering a little like she’s drifting off again. “Just wanna have fun.”

Maybe Samira could stand it better if she knew Roxanne hurt her on purpose as some sick form of entertainment. It’s better than her doing it repeatedly on accident. The idea that their lives are so incongruent, that they are so incompatible as people, that just by virtue of Roxanne being who she is Samira is the one who ends up getting hurt…

Samira eschews the thought. She knows—knows deeply, without doubt—that she could make this work. That if Roxanne simply listened to her once in a while that she could get them on track. There’s nothing Samira wouldn’t do to make her happy. Really, truly happy. A happiness that could be maintained even after the drugs wore off. Roxanne just has to let her.

Roxanne’s arms start to slip away from her, sleep loosening her hold or just general restlessness. Either way, Samira tightens her grip over the arm still slung around her, stilling the movement. Forces herself to ease up a little once she realizes her nails are digging into Roxanne’s skin. Rubs her thumb over the indents they leave.

Roxanne, now deep in slumber, doesn’t even twitch. Samira releases a sigh and allows her eyes to slip closed.

[mercymaker]

i feel like a lot of people who write astarion's character off and refuse to engage with his story and character arc are missing out on a very important aspect that is incredibly real and devastating in our world.

it's the existence of an imperfect victim.

which is an unfortunate reality for so many people. and that's why so many of us keep running into this cognitive dissonance where we can't connect the two.

in a way, through media, as well as real life examples, we're constantly being shown this image of a perfect victim, the target of suffering. often completely innocent, there to be tormented and to be weak and to suffer and cry. it's almost... palatable? they're there for us to feel one emotion or another. pity often being at the top of the list. they're at the bottom of the line when it comes to control, authority, aggression. they did nothing wrong. they're there to be brutalized, to fit a very particular role in the narrative. a passive role.

but more often than not, in real life, victims aren't these perfect, meek, quiet, passive figures. especially when it comes to sex trafficking (sex work being looked down by the society and the law surely creates a brutal trap where you're the 'bad guy' even when you ARE a victim). there's no escape. you learn to play by the rules of that world. for so many, there's no 'fairy-tale' ending where you're going to escape by remaining passive and hopeful and continuing to suffer.

there are so many cases where trafficked people end up committing crimes. for some it's just theft, battery, assault. but there are cases where the victims end up brutally murdering their abusers, or their 'clients', or both. and that's when society, as well the judicial system, stops seeing them as a victim altogether. as if they never were one. all of their absolutely horrific suffering gets pushed away, nullified in the eyes of the public. now they are the perpetrator, the criminal. and worst of all, some use this to justify their horrific abuse.

i can't even count how many times i've seen comments where people say 'well, they didn't have to kill them, they could've xyz' or 'why go out of their way to be so brutal?' etc. etc. which yet again... erases sympathy for the victim.

as if committing immoral acts somehow retroactively applies 'punishment' through previous abuse. and the mob's moral craving for 'justice' gets scratched. resolves the cognitive dissonance. it's much easier to connect the two dots, if the person was 'evil' all along. perhaps they were never a victim to begin with? perhaps they deserved it?

and that's where, to me, it loops back to astarion's story. and one of the key points portrayed.

no one deserves such horrific abuse. it doesn't matter if you're an asshole or if you're a sweet girl who had her trust exploited.

and it's not to say that a victim's crimes are suddenly justified because they were a victim to begin with, no.

it's more about our inability to tackle the nuance when someone is both. the one inflicting the suffering as well as receiving it. their 'crimes' are not justified by their suffering. yet, their suffering is also not justified by their 'crimes'.

it is certainly a difficult situation to navigate, but i wish some people would engage with those uncomfortable topics and step out of their comfort zone sometimes instead of writing something off because of some surface details.

[thwispsings]

the idea came to me in a migraine induced dream but now im obsessed with the concept of a mu qingfang who knew the abuse bunhe was going through at the hands of og!shen qingqiu/shen jiu and did his best to treat the kid whenever he could (and bring his concerns to zhangmen shixiong, which were obviously very much ignored) and his constant worry over the situation means that when the qi deviation happens he is suspicious of shen qingqiu’s changes for all different reasons and very much protective of luo binghe -who is a sweet child and an earnest disciple who seems to always find the most incredible medicinal herbs to bring to his mu shishu as thanks for the care bestowed upon him- which means that when the whole shen qingqiu dying thing happens instead of bad mouthing luo binghe or fighting him at every chance he does his best to come over and keep an eye on things to try and help him and make sure luo binghe won’t kill himself trying to bring shen qingqiu back because he remembers that earnest kid and he’s witnessed luo binghe’s devotion to this shen qingqiu first hand and knows there is no way that the kid who cried when ning yingying found a bird with a broken wing and begged mu qingfang to fix it and the kid that would always borrow medical texts and try to find new herb combinations as if it was a game between him and qian cao disciples is actually doing anything nefarious to shen qingqiu’s corpse.

anyways in this essay i will-

[dotssu3]

also while i dont draw much de fanart anymore, i still sometimes go through fayde. i was thinking about playing dress up with jean again after ready this line what is his plainclothes outfit

[waitineedaname]

the experience of writing fic for svsss has been absolutely insane so far. I posted a fic less than 24 hours ago and it already has twenty comments. I have been in so many fandoms where you have to BEG to get comments, where you'd be lucky to get more than ten comments and the ratio between hits and kudos/comments/bookmarks was vast, but so far the scum villain fandom has been super responsive! The hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks ratios have been super tight, even on my fics which have all been oneshots under 10k!

And it's not just me! I regularly see fanart for svsss fics, which was a rare sight in a lot of other fandoms I've been in. People reblog minifics that get posts to tumblr and leave tags and replies on them. I've written for a lot of fandoms in my time, and this a shocking amount of fic engagement compared to many other fandoms I've been in!!

I can't help but wonder if it's because of the nature of scum villain itself? Other people have talked about how the story uniquely appeals to writers, and it ultimately is about the relationship between a writer and reader, especially in a fan space. I can't help but wonder if the combination of this being a fandom with a high density of writers and it being a story about engaging with writing encourages a fandom culture that is super engaged with fanfiction!

[zestyzigzagoon]

I won't write this because I'm still in a rut and I have other things to catch up on, but fun AU idea: famous person x normal person AU, except the normal person lives under a rock and has no fucking clue who the famous one is

[oddly-casual]

Totoko, Karamatsu, and the theme of driving.

If I stand correct, Karamatsu and Totoko have been associated with driving a total of two times and I have yet to read that to filth so I’m gonna do it now. (ramble under cut)

I think there’s something really interesting about Karamatsu’s relationship to driving and how it’s tied with Totoko. Both times around seasons 2 & 3.

The first instance we see is in the episode Karamatsu Taxi. When Totoko is in a rush to get to a cafe for work and offers to tell Karamatsu (her taxi driver) the directions to get there. He doesn’t let her, saying stuff like “I’d be a loser if I used it (the GPS)” and “we’ll get there in eight-tion.” Both of which impress Totoko and have her out her faith in him.

Karamatsu spends the whole skit getting lost while spouting off some deep soul shit which holds no actual weight. He isn’t an experienced driver, but instead a novice at the job. He doesn’t even know what specific buttons in his car do. Popping the hood and truck several times, but more interestingly is his big finish.

Let’s be real, this big of a celebration isn’t necessary and far from professional. He obviously saves this as a job well done for himself, but it’s his first day and he fires it off prematurely (again, tying into his lack of knowledge and experience)

I’ve said this before (if I remember correctly) but I think each skit has specific characters for a reason. I find it super interesting that instead of another brother, or a girlymatsu, or even someone like Iyami or Chibita, they choose Totoko.

Totoko the independent queen.

Totoko does her best to give him the benefit of the doubt. She can see through Karamatsu’s bullshit the more lost they get and loses her temper at his incompetence.

While that’s par for the course in terms of Totoko behavior, it’s the advice she gives that adds a sweet lesson to a normally cynical and comedy driven skit.

It’s especially Totoko that gives this advice, and I think it’s super important. (Not just because later it’s revealed that she herself isn’t an expert in anything- but it is pretty funny. My girl is so wise)

I think we can easily apply this to Totoko’s struggles in being an idol. Being your own boss isn’t easy, and we see Totoko struggle again and again in gathering fans, finding gimmicks that work, and even gritting her teeth to team up with Nyaa because she knows her career is drowning right now.

Totoko follows her ambitions, and she does it on her own merits no matter how hard that journey is. Regardless, she wouldn’t be doing something she doesn’t like if she doesn’t get something out of it.

In a way, she following her own advice. She’s doing the hard part before she can do the fun part.

Similarly, Karamatsu has to learn the job and do the job before he can do the fun part (ie. his big disco ball finish, his wise words, ignition, etc)

But, hold on, if Totoko’s advice in the skit can be tied to her current job as an idol- then how does Karamatsu’s lesson tie into his character?

“Im so glad you asked” I say to myself as I write alone.

Karamatsu wants to be cool so bad guys

I mean…no shit right? He pours money into manly men magazines, glittery masculine fashion, and shades galore but I think we underestimate how deep it really runs.

Almost everything about Karamatsu is fake, because he wants only the curated imagine of himself to be what he displays. The comedy is in the hypocrisy.

He wants to be the brother with a generous and kind heart, but leave a brother hanging when it’s no longer his problem. He wants to spout poetics about love when he’s never really been in love (drug store lady doesn’t count I don’t think). He begs his mother to buy him a motorcycle but he (I guarantee you) would most likely wheel it around like a bike when he fails to learn it right away.

See what I mean? He wants to appear a certain way when that’s not who he is.

In the final episode of season 3, we basically get it spelled out for us. Each way the brother is holding themself back, the pitfalls they sink into.

For Karamatsu, he bums around until he thinks of a way to be popular. That being a ‘big machine’ or in other words, a motorcycle. What are his methods of getting one?

Wow! He actually considers getting a part time job! Before dropping it for an easier method…

He doesn’t want to put the work in, he just wants the fun part. Much like the season 2 skit Karamatsu Taxi tells us.

At the very least, the skit had him actually earn his big finish. He grit his teeth and followed Totoko’s direction and got her to where she needed to go. He did the work so he could do the fun part.

In the current time line, it’s almost like he’s allergic to the thought of it. He has no outward goals or ambitions, no desire to work since everything is handed to him.

Yet the things he actually wants; stardom, cool cars, and lovers- aren’t something that’s handed to you. It’s something you have to work for. Time and time again, Karamatsu ditches the rough road for staring up at the stars instead. Why?

Well, because he’s lazy. Right?

Eh, yes and no.

They need more platonic moments together I am not kidding.

Totoko has a unique and interesting dynamic with everyone on the show. I mostly attribute that to the kind of character she is. let’s be honest, Totoko is the representation of girlhood and, weirdly enough, maturity.

But the thing I love love love about Totoko that I will never stop talking about is how she always fails.

Her idol career is her biggest example. While it isn’t down the drain, it’s struggling. She couldn’t hold a solo career on her own. She refused to give up the fish theme, and struggled to sell tickets at a regular price because her fanbase just wasn’t up there. She even fails to keep Nyaa as an enemy. Instead becoming friends and in a way- co parents.

Not to mention her attempt at driving, despite taking lessons is…

Yikes.

But just because it is an attempt, doesn’t make it her only attempt. Despite how much Totoko get sent back, she doesn’t take the easy path. Her first attempt is never her only attempt.

And maybe Karamatsu just doesn’t know what good driving is, but he clearly admires Totoko and this step she’s taken.

Despite how much season 1 Totoko wanted a rich oil tycoon to sweep her off her feet, from season 2 onwards Totoko has put her all into getting what she wants. Doing it even if it isn’t glamorous or easy so that she can get to the fun part.

Meanwhile Karamatsu doesn’t even want to try. He goes as far as to going to a used car store, only to turn away. “These cars aren’t fit for a star.” You can almost hear him think.

Driving, for most, is considered a rite of passage. It’s like your extra achievement into becoming an adult. These guys are well into their twenties and none of them can drive (I can’t talk shit I can’t drive either). Above all, it’s supposed to be about freedom, independence.

Karamatsu doesn’t want the freedom, or even to brag about the fact that he can drive. It’s purely so he can look cool in cool cars.

But learning to drive is just another step in that direction, so why not? Again, you can argue it’s because he’s lazy and no doubt he is.

Another part of it, I believe, is a fear of failure.

He fears being a bad person, so he acts as a doormat. He fears being unoriginal and boring, so he throws on his most high heeled boots and sings on the roof top. He fears being lonely, so he goes out every day- but also fears rejection, so he doesn’t approach anybody and instead waits for someone to notice him.

It’s kind of sad, honestly. Karamatsu craves a lot of things, but fears the what if’s of failure. Something I imagine a lot of people understand. After all, failure is scary and nothing is more disappointing than putting the work in just to come out empty handed.

But I think that’s why I like Totoko and Karamatsu as a duo. Totoko is like the big sister, she is all the things Karamatsu wishes he could be. I don’t think even he has noticed it yet.

I truly think these characters can learn a lot from each other, and while I’m sure season 4 will focus on another dynamic with Totoko- I’m happy I could hyper fixate and love this duo for what they are.

[azems-familiar]

40 Questions for fic writers meme! Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

i don't have any favorite pieces of prose, tbh. i mean i have a couple fics that are probably my favorites as a whole? but i'm not really exactly proud of anything to the point to be able to single something i've written - and i've written a lot - out and be like "yes, this is my favorite thing and here's why". i guess that's against the spirit of the question but i really don't know how to answer this one.