#yeah yeah very creative i know😔

[annie-handholder]

Day 2: Haunted

[genericpuff]

Are there any characters from LO that you actually like/don’t mind

I have a lot more appreciation for Minthe now with all the hindsight that Hades and Persephone are often way worse than she is. She still had a lot of issues on her own end that she didn't deal with well, and while I would have liked to see her actually develop properly beyond her struggles both internal and with Hades, I think the best thing we could have asked for was Minthe being written out of the story the way she was. At least then Rachel couldn't continue to use her as a punching bag (she just tagged in Leuce for that, sigh)

Helios is great, zero issue with him. This scene is a lot funnier and more relatable to read in hindsight:

like ofc Helios is gonna rat on her, he's the fucking sun who's been around for thousands of years, why would he put any more of his limited freedom on the line for macaroni art LMAO (and yes, Rachel herself confirmed that Persephone made macaroni art cards for Helios, it's like... yeah okay it's cute but Persephone and Demeter still hid a crime from Zeus, the sentimental value of the birthday cards have no bearing on that LOL)

Thanatos is also in the camp of "characters I appreciate more in hindsight and wish got better character development". Adding in the 'twist' that he was Hades' adoptive son after we just spent nearly two seasons watching Hades treat him like just a lowly employee who didn't deserve his respect was certainly... a choice. And I don't think I should have to explain why it was a very very BAD one LOL

Hephaestus is also great, I know he's an extremely minor character whose only real role was to delete the blackmail photos from Apollo's phone but, like. look at him???

amazing. precious. sweet boy. and it has absolutely nothing to do with my absent older brother issues why would you say that- (｡•́︿•̀｡) that said, there are still flaws in his design (his prosthetics especially because he's constantly wearing running blades for every occasion which I feel like Rachel only chose because they "looked cool" and were "easier to draw" but like. his poor hips and back, that's gotta be uncomfortable 😭) but even just his face on its own is ironically one of the most unique character designs across the entire cast, not for any sort of outstanding or creative reasons, you just can't possibly mistake or color swap him with anyone else LMAO and though I can't feasibly give credit to Rachel for writing a neurodivergent character - because I have no clue if that was her intention here, afaik she's never really talked about it - I can wholly relate to him being the introverted computer guy who just wants to be left alone with his work and his airpods, like that's literally just me LOL

And of course nothing Rachel could ever do would make me hate Demeter, I think it's so ironic and tone deaf that Rachel claimed she "didn't get" why Demeter was so hated by the fans and didn't "agree" with the comparisons to Mother Gothel, but like... Rachel literally wrote her that way. And while she did "resolve" it, it wasn't with any actual empathy towards Demeter's own side of things, it was just bandaids on top of bandaids and then going "yep! She's all better now! That's character development!" Out of all the characters who deserved better, she was the one who deserved the most 😔💓

[starshadyy]

what your favorite splatoon character says about YOU!

obligatory “this is a joke” disclaimer, please don’t take offense i’m only being silly👉👈

☆ ★ ☆

callie: you are a diehard squid sisters fan. you have an intrinsic sense for design and are probably super creative. you hate it when people misinterpret her. others wouldn’t assume it, but you actually need therapy more than most others on this list…😔

marie: you’re really intimidating but probably super nice. you’re actually good at the game and are well-versed in the meta. you may not be the best at communication, but you have a strong intuition and are good at reading people

pearl: an absolute feral crackhead who needs to be kept on a leash. definitely queer. nasty majesty is your national anthem. you breathe life and energy into every situation you enter, and others appreciate you for it. you are pearlina’s strongest soldier! 🩷🩵

marina: you are a massive nerd /affectionate. you either wanna be her friend or you have a fat crush on her. you listen to splatoon ost all the time. your room is packed with stuff from the media you like, including mountains of plushies

shiver: you join her team during splatfests even when you don’t necessarily agree with the platform. you’re likely very sarcastic and always speak your mind. oh yeah, and you’re a weeb

frye: you loved her from the start and defended her honor back when everyone was clowning on her design. you’re very talented but humble about your accomplishments. you would bite someone if allowed

big man: you act laid back but are probably filled with anxiety. i get the vibe that you would own an unconventional pet of some kind [turtle, frog, ferret, etc.]. you’re for sure the mom friend. you know nothing about splatoon lore

captain 3: you are the BACKBONE of this fandom and i have nothing but respect for you. you’re probably ranked pretty high in competitive and are likely a completionist

agent 4: you grew up on splatoon 2 and were sure that they would show up in side order only to be… uh, half right? i’m so sorry sweet prince /gn. don’t you worry, your day [splatoon 4] is fast approaching…

eight: you’re very analytical and derive great joy from the story aspects of splatoon. you either write or read fanfiction and maybe cosplay too. you LIVE for the found family trope, and also probably ship them with captain 3. you have amazing taste :]

neo agent 3: you think lil buddy is the most adorable creature to walk the planet. you wish their initial outfit was actually accessible in the game. you’ve probably only played splatoon 3

cap’n cuttlefish: you’re an og who’s been around since splatoon 1 but still know next to nothing about the lore. you don’t main a weapon, and instead prefer to bounce around. you are… an inscrutable crackhead who i want to study

dj octavio: you’re willing to die on the hill that he is not a villain and only did what he did to support his people [you’re right btw]. you’re actually really chill and fun and i have a lot of respect for you. also, i’m liable to believe that you ship him with cuttlefish, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?

commander tartar: you’re… ME??? villainous characters are always your favorites. you think octo expansion is a masterpiece [and you’re entirely right]. you’re a splatoon scholar and scour every obscure twitter post and artbook note to satiate your hunger for that sweet sweet lore. there’s something deeply wrong in your head.

mr. grizz: you play a lot of salmon run but are actually kinda bad at it [shhh i won’t tell]. you suffered through after alterna just for his backstory log and the bear ears. i’m going to go out on a limb here and say… you have daddy issues

smollusk: you LOVE the idea that marina and pearl are its adoptive moms. you’ve beaten side order with every palette. you overuse the “🥺” emoji. you miiight be a little annoying, but your heart is in the right place… probably

acht: either the chillest person you’ll ever meet or the most insane. probably both. you’re 100% queer and probably neurodivergent too. i bet you listen to will wood and / or tally hall. i wanna be your friend

harmony: you know every chirpy chips song by heart. you’re probably really sweet and i know you make banger fanart. you have an affinity for cute things and i bet your favorite pokémon type is fairy. DEFINITELY neurodivergent.

cq cumber: ???you both confuse and frighten me!!! what can i even say? you’re a cryptid! but honestly, you’re kinda iconic. i salute you, you freak of nature🫡

iso padre: I LOVE YOU. you’re accepting of all people and are just an absolute saint in general. daddy issues, but you’re coping way better than the grizz fans. also, i’m betting that you’re neurodivergent

sheldon: i didn’t think you existed, but turns out that you do? you actually listen to his rambles. splatoon 2 is your favorite game in the series. you’re able to see the value in things that others tear down and y'know what? i respect that [not saying i approve of your character choice though]

judd: wait, why him? ohh wait, i know! you probably just don’t care about splatoon’s story at all and / or love cats. there, that’s totally it, right?

lil judd: you either DON’T know his lore and just like the cute little kitten, or you DO know his lore and you’re unhinged. i’m scared of you

spyke: you’d bark for him without hesitation and DON’T pretend you wouldn’t. you clown. you absolute freak. i know what you are. /j

murch: if i had to bet, you’re probably the shy type who prefers to let others do the talking for them. you might secretly be a little freaky though, and i think you should embrace that side of yourself. you’re safe here. be free.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Please.. Matthias smut, i’m starving there’s barely any content for him… I need him sexually pent up and sloppy ☝️😔

Heres so an unposted smut of him these are old

Rated: Mature | Warnings: reader is a simp for him and writer, jackmatt

Morning sex is rare especially when Matthias initiates it; between the two of you, you have the higher libido, and thus the one initiating— Matthias does not mind, given you are also willing to give a show when he is busy and pretending to be disinterested.

However, today he was very much in the mood the second he got you to wake up, his hands clingy and you far too eager to open your legs to him.

Most of the morning was spent between bedsheets constantly chasing ecstasy.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Asking after a nap and cleaning up.

“About what?” He is at his desk fixing up a wooden miniature basic puppet.

“This morning!” Wrapping your arms around his neck as you rest your chin on top of his head, “You were frantic.”

Mathias is quiet, “You noticed?” Stopping his tinkering, “I just felt the need is all.” Frowning then sighing, “I had a… dream.”

“Oh!?” Moving to sit on the bed when he turns his chair to face it.

“... You can't… Judge me.” Shy, “It was about the last match yesterday.”

You nod showing you are listening, “With Jack?”

“With Jack.” Going quiet as he looks conflicted to talk more.

“I once dreamt of a threesome with Orpheus and you.”

“What!?” Taken aback by your words.

You simply shrug, “I mean it's natural to dream about things. Sometimes naughty dreams too,” Leaning forward, “Fool’s Gold was my first one.” Whispering to him a dirty secret.

“What makes you think it was anything naughty? I could just say I was dreaming about the match—”

“Matthias,” Cutting him off, “You literally fucked me all morning. I'm sure you had a naughty dream about Jack.” Then you grin, “Was he hot?”

Matthias groans as he leans back against the chair with his hands covering his eyes, “Damn it… Yeah, that stupid rose one.”

“Yeah, that will do it.” Nodding your head sagely, “Hehe, congrats on the wet dream!”

“Please, must you tease?!” He pouted as he put his arms down and sat normally.

You move forward standing then bending over to kiss his cheek.

-----

The stack of papers is neat and bound together with a ribbon with a note on top: “Read only when I am busy and you are alone” with a heart drawing next to it.

It's one of your weird gifts again. It is as if all of your gifts are not put away safely as he treasures them. The Puppeteer sighs sitting on his bed as he looks through the stack of papers.

The title page Ink and Strings, you and your writings always have some creative title… The first actual page right away tells everything about this story you left for him.

The desk shifts with each thrust, the laboring breaths, and lips everywhere they can each before meeting. There I took all that I could. My body is aching for release but I am greedy, and wanting, and so is he.

Matthias reads on then stops when he sees…

Orpheus moves to accommodate. Matthias keeps me on the desk, caring for my comfort over caring if Orpheus can use my mouth. I know he would–

This is your dream! Written just for him to read and get off on if he wishes— He really hates how his cock is reacting to the details of your story, of the emotions clearly of love for him and lust for Orpheus. You only kiss Matthias, you only seek comfort in Matthias, and your needy begs are for Matthias. The rest, the lust is for Orpheus as if he is only there to indulge in curiosity.

Matthias uses his bare hand to get himself off, reading the story you wrote with laboring breaths.

-----

“This has to be inappropriate using your talents…” The Puppeteer says while on bed, sitting on bed with only his underlings on. His eyes looked to the side and down at the dark sheets. You giggle as he is clearly shy about this.

“I don't think so,” As you prepare your stack of fresh blank papers and pen in hand, “You are being my editor!” Pointing it out as if this is normal to do.

“No editor touches themselves to the piece they are editing.”

“Oh, Matthias, if my editor is not enthralled by my writing then I failed in capturing the essence of the scene.”

Matthias rolls his eyes, “Whatever.” He then looks at you, “So?”

“The chill of the snow map sends a shiver down your spine,” You say while writing, “Or perhaps it is the anticipation of danger as you rush off to find a cipher.” Your lover listens to your words to set up the fantasy, “The fog barely misses its target but it does. Giving time you vault through a window to escape out of the shack.”

Matthias leans back, closing his eyes picturing your words.

“Like a butterfly caught in the spider's web, he has you.” You hum then nod to yourself agreeing with that description, “Tall, menacing, the threat is right there,” Matthias frowns as knows that feeling, “One strike and you will be down on the ground painting the white snow red with your blood.” You stop then go on, “Yet, the strike never comes, the claws of his viciousness with twisted skill to cut and slice. His other hand grabs you, pinning you against the cold outer wall of the factory.”

Matthias shifts as you paint the picture with your words of a scenario he told you about. A dream that caused him to seek you out in the morning.

“His laugh is rich, gleeful as you do not fight back,” Matthias bites his lip, “Docile as you allow him to cut the fabric of your pants. The bit of the skin on your ass cut enough to bleed, you hiss in pain delighting him.”

“(Name).”

“Shh, we are getting to the good part!”

Matthias hates himself for getting hard, with each word creating this fuck up willing situation. To be taken by the sadistic hunter Jack. Worse is how you write, speaking it out, in character.

“You fear he going to rip you apart with how big his cock is,”

“Ah, ah.” Panting as he palms himself through his underlings.

“Oh, you feel each burning push of the monster's cock. Blood and spit do little as lube, not like he cares— And he knows you don't either as you push back. A harlot, he calls you with his heavy British accent.”

“Shut up.” As if replying to the Ripper.

“He laughs before impaling you completely. His clawed hand slams against the wall while his other hand grips your waist. Bruises will form later, a reminder of this deed.”

Matthias by now has pulled out his cock, fisting his cock as he is getting off this.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Please tell me the next chapter of Four Walls is coming soon 😔

the next chapter of four walls is coming, but realistically it's probably not coming soon, i'm really sorry 😔 i've had some very challenging stuff going on in my personal life since the summer, and it's seriously impacted my creativity and desire to write. to tell the truth, i've been in an absolutely awful headspace over the last couple months and have barely had the energy to reply to messages - let alone sit down and write fic. i lost all inspiration and and confidence in my ability to do anything justice, and for a long time actually wasn't sure i was ever going to be able to pick up my pen and continue writing four walls.

if i'm being totally honest, i'm still not 100% sure - but i have found myself slowly, helplessly pulled back into that fic over the last few weeks. it has its roots so deep in my heart that letting it go feels impossible. i have now tentatively started writing it again, but i think it'll take a little while for me to settle back into my rhythm and really feel the enjoyment of it again. it doesn't help that i ended up really hating the last chapter i posted and feel like i did such a big moment in the fic a massive disservice, but i'm trying not to focus on that and just absorb myself in where the characters are now. which is... not easy, because i've been struggling massively with dissociation for the last several months and connecting to anything has felt pretty much impossible. but just recently i've started getting little glimmers of how the world feels to alex again, and it's felt like an absolute lifeline. i'm trying to hold on as tight as i can and make the most of every moment in the hopes that they'll slowly pull me back into feeling like myself again, as writing this fic over the last year so often has.

i've been reluctant to post anything about this because i've had so much wonderful support on this fic that i'm so, so grateful for - and absolutely HATE the idea of disappointing or upsetting people. but i also wanted to be honest, because often i'm so preoccupied with wanting to reassure other people that i think i don't actually express what's going on for me enough (in so many contexts, not just this one). and that really isn't working out for me, so i'm trying to do things differently. because god knows i need things to be different.

to anyone who's still invested in four walls - please know how much your support means to me and how much i appreciate you 🫶🫶 i very, very much hope i'll be able to give you a new chapter in the not too distant future. i do have a lot for this next chapter already written, but i also have a lot of work to do before any of that is ready for posting. so yeah... the new chapter of four walls isn't coming soon (it certainly won't be out before the new year, anyway), but right now it feels like a huge step to be able to say that it is still coming 💜

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

Hey, Amee!! I hope you’re doing well <3

If by any chance you’re up to it, could you please write a fic about Heist Mark being super jealous of Yancy because he and Y/N clearly seem to be into each other?? I LOVE your art and writings and I couldn’t get this idea out of my head <3 (Obviously no pressure, though!)

I'm so happy to hear you enjoy my work, thank you🥺💖 and thank you for your request! it got me out of a terrible writer's block. on that note, sorry this took quite some time, I've been in a bit of a funk of on and off general creative block, and unable to finish any writing at all for even longer. this was a pretty fun challenge! I myself view Yancy platonically so I wasn't quite sure where to go with this initially, and I had to fight every urge to just make this heist mark x y/n dfsjsjsv. that said, it did end up being more heist mark-centric than maybe you intended? in which case, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself😔 yancy is there but very briefly haha

Don't you tell me that you never even thought, 'maybe we could run'

2,603 words | Read on AO3

‘We're all gonna be rehearsing tomorrow so youse best get some sleep.’

You nod as you close the gate to yours and Mark's shared cell, stifling a yawn.

‘Goodnight, Yancy.’

You hold each other's gaze for a moment, before he turns and heads off, a tattooed hand over the back of his neck and a sweet smile still on his face. You watch as he disappears into the outer hallway and a guard appears to lock up your cell for the evening.

Your long-time accomplice and friend stands at the edge of your vision, arms folded.

‘Having fun with your new boyfriend, buddy?’ he asks, sounding unimpressed and slightly strained.

‘Oh, shush, Mark,’ you chide, but your stomach flips at the notion.

‘Yeah… Well, while you were busy playing Broadway,’ he glances to either side of the cell outside and continues in a lowered voice, ‘I've been hard at work hatching our escape. And I'm telling you, it's foolproof.’

‘Uh huh. As foolproof as your other three failed plans? I really don't wanna get thrown in solitary again.’

‘Please, that was one time! — and I don't see you bothering to come up with any ideas. Even though you pretty much got us into this mess.’

That accusation ticks you off, but you're quick to retaliate.

‘Are you seriously still hung up on that? How is this my fault? You couldn't fly a helicopter, why would you assume I can? You shouldn't have even presented it as an option!’

Your exclamation earns you a couple looks from other inmates slowly filing into their cells for the night.

‘Nevermind that now,’ Mark says, infuriatingly placatingly, ‘do you wanna hear the plan or not?’

The thread of uncertainty that you've been avoiding coils tight in your chest and you pause, wondering how to bring up what's been nagging at you for days.

‘Um, so, I've been thinking. What if… what if we don't try to escape?’

‘Ha ha. Funny joke, pal.’

‘I'm serious, Mark. We could just… stay here and wait out our sentence, if we play it safe we might even get our time reduced on good behaviour. We could be gone in like a decade. Or a few years! Maybe. Probably. Maybe.’ Wishful thinking, perhaps.

He scoffs, as if the idea isn't even worth considering.

‘There is no way you're genuinely telling me to just wait it out. Maybe you haven't noticed since you've been in la-la land lately, but we're not on vacation, we're in prison,’ Mark spouts, voice growing thick with agitation. ‘What was supposed to be the heist of a lifetime, would've set us up for decades to come, is still on the line! And we're on a bit of a time crunch here — I don't trust that warden guy one bit with the Box, or in general,’ he sneers. ‘I mean what kind of name is Murder-Slaughter? Ugh, do we even know for sure if he still has it?’

‘Yancy mentioned seeing it in his office the last time he was there, which was earlier today, so yeah, probably.’

‘Ugh, there you go again about Yancy. It's always Yancy this, Yancy that, blah blah blah, Yancy!’

‘Wh– I was just answering your question!’

‘Y'know what? I'm sick and tired of being the only one taking this seriously while you act like it's all a big party.’

He places a hand on his hip, the other poking a finger towards you as he speaks. It would be comical, if he wasn't acting like a jerk.

‘What's up with you?’

‘What's up with me? What's up with you? You seriously wanna stay in this— this shithole, ‘cause of what? Some pretty face you've known for all of like, less than two weeks??’

‘Oh my God, Mark, it's not that terrible, and Yancy is actually my friend, he's been nothing but welcoming and kind since we got here, and—’

‘Oh, did you forget that he tried to beat you up when you first met? Real interesting, how you let that little detail slip.’

‘We just got off on the wrong foot, he's really—’

It's then that you see it — something in the slight hunch in his gait, the furrow of his brow, his pursed lips and tense jaw — and you wonder why you hadn't noticed before. It's not just anger and frustration, it's something bitter and personal.

‘Mark… are you jealous?’

Bingo. His eyes only widen a sliver, for a fraction of a second, but you're so used to reading him that even the most imperceptible of reactions on his usually very expressive face have become familiar to you.

‘Psh. I'm not jealous.’

‘You so are jealous! Oh my god, you're super duper jealous,’ you say with a grin, revelling in this new information.

‘Shut up, why would I be jealous?’ he protests, trying to sound nonchalant. But it's too late. You've already seen through it.

‘Is that what this is about?’ you say with a laugh. ‘You just want my attention back or something?’

He stares blankly for a moment.

‘Are you serious right now? You actually think the only reason I'm mad is because some random dude just waltzes in and starts acting all buddy buddy with you and you fall head-over-heels,’ he jeers with his hands either side of his face, fluttering his eyelashes mockingly. ‘Hook, line and sinker.’

‘Mark—’

‘I mean, never mind your partner, right? You know, your best friend who you've known and worked with for years? Who cares what he thinks?!’

‘Mark, I—’

‘In fact, he can get punched through a wall for all you care! You won't even bat an eye, as long as there's a random spontaneous musical number immediately afterwards, it's all in good fun!’

‘Ok, that's not fair,’ you push back. ‘Of course I was worried! But I was also surrounded by violent criminals at the time, we've been over this!’

‘Oh, so they're “violent criminals” now? But they're simply “hurt, misunderstood souls” when it suits you?!’ he shoots back, making air quotes to emphasise his point.

‘They're people, Mark! They're allowed to be… multi-faceted!’

‘Lights out, everybody,’ comes a guard's voice, ringing through the hallway as it suddenly becomes dark, save for the glow of dim lamplight emanating from one or two of the other cells.

‘Whatever, let's just get some sleep,’ Mark grumbles under his breath.

‘You always do this!’ you whisper harshly, but inadvertently let the volume slip back into your voice as you feel your blood boil. ‘You try to cut things off and act like the “bigger person” just to get out of an argument that, newsflash, YOU'RE LOSING.’

‘Oh, whatever, what-f*cking-ever!’

‘You're being so damn overdramatic, Mark! It's not like I'm trying to break up our team.’

‘Yeah, well– well maybe we should!’

You don't know why it jolts you like a gunshot when he says it, but it does. His words, the force and resentment behind them, pierce you to your core. It stops any quick-fire response you had at the ready in its tracks.

Regret immediately flashes across his face, but he quickly attempts to cover it with a steely, hardened gaze. ‘Clearly, we want different things. So maybe it's for the best.’

‘Hey!’ one of the guards calls out from across the hall. ‘Lights out means quiet, you two. Don't make us separate you into different cells.’

With a frustrated huff, you reluctantly traipse off to bed, yours being the lower half of the bunk while Mark settles above you.

It really is a rather decent bed. The mattress is nothing special, but comfortable, and the soft blanket is accompanied by an oddly luxurious, fluffy pillow. Definitely above what you'd expect is probably average prison standards. Frankly, you don't know what Mark's problem is with this place. It's honestly not half bad. As far as you expect jails go, it surely could be a lot worse.

You lay back and let your breathing even out, trying your best to allow some of the bubbling anger to die down. Eventually, you hear the guards leave.

Time passes, it could be minutes or hours; it's not like the passage of time has felt right at all to you since that last heist.

It's silent, save for the sound of your breaths and Mark's above you. You're still upset with him, but the sound of him breathing nearby has always been oddly comforting. The two of you have had plenty of close calls as a pair — even times when you had to patch each other up after jobs that went particularly badly. If you got injured on a heist, you couldn't simply call an ambulance or show up at a hospital in an emergency and risk having your whole operation blown. That was simply the nature of your line of work.

At the worst of times, as long as you could hear those steady, even breaths, you could tell yourself he would pull through, and things would be fine.

You idly watch the mattress above you, letting the rhythm of your friend's breathing become a gentle white noise, and think.

You think about that heist and the Box. Ancient, coveted, mysterious. Sitting atop its perch in the museum vault, in all its glory and allure, practically asking to be stolen. The gleam of the gem encrusted in its surface. You wonder if the prize held within would be worth all of this, if you managed to get it back.

You think about Yancy, a little rough and a little troubled and not seeing much point in trying to kick old habits; but fun and soft and sensitive and full of remorse. You think about the feeling of your hand in his when you practise a routine with him, how his whole face lights up when he's excited or falls when he's sad or pensive. You think about how he has made this penitentiary into a home, and these inmates into a family.

You think about Mark. Silly, stupid, steadfast Mark, snarky and thoughtful and loyal. Who isn't actually as dumb as he lets on. Who is resourceful and quick-thinking when a plan needs to be formed. Who makes bad puns and trusts you whole-heartedly, and who always lets you decide which course of action to take, no matter how much he disagrees, simply due to his unwavering faith in you. Mark, your co-worker, your friend, your partner in crime. Who is maybe a little enamoured with you, despite you trying to ignore it. Who you half-heartedly agreed to go on a date with, not having it in you to turn him down, nor prepared for the guilt that would be eating away at you now.

You think about one of the first things he told you when you landed yourselves at Happy Trails: About how he doesn't belong here, but maybe you do. What if he were to leave and you were to stay? The thought breaks your heart a little.

Then, a whisper from above into the quiet, gently interrupting your thoughts.

‘Hey, you still awake?’

‘...Yeah.’

You hear his voice, soft-spoken, but clear enough that you can hear the sincerity laced into it.

‘I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so worked up.’

‘Yeah, I'm sorry too,’ you reply, matching his volume.

‘And I didn't mean it,’ he says, and you think you hear the slightest tremble in the statement, almost as if he's fighting tears, and for a second you wish you could see his face, ‘what I said before, about uh, splitting up. I know I joke about that kind of thing all the time, and not coming back for you… But you know I don't really mean it, right?’

You've certainly had your doubts in the past, but those moments seem so far away now; footnotes in a slowly unfolding tale, stepping stones on the journey the pair of you have taken together as you worked your way from theft to theft to get to this point. As much as you'd butt heads over the years, you could always count on each other and you always stuck together.

‘Right?’

‘Yeah, I know…’

‘...And, alright, your lack of interest in breaking out aside, maybe I am kinda jealous.’

‘Ha! I knew it.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ He sighs. ‘It's just… it took us a while to be like we are now and yet, you're suddenly so close to him when it hasn't even been that long, it just doesn't feel fair. I dunno, it's stupid.’

‘Nah, I get it. I'm sorry if I made you feel left behind.

‘And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel pressured into something you're actually just not all that into.’

You feel a bit of tension leave your chest as a small smile appears on your face. ‘I appreciate that.’

In some ways you're grateful for the small bed separating you and preventing you from being face to face. You think it makes this easier for both of you.

‘I don't want to lose you, y'know? I mean, we're supposed to be partners. Ride or die, remember?’

‘Oh, Mark… You know I still trust you with my life…’ You pause, considering your words. ‘For the first time in ages, things feel a little more complicated than just being about us.’

A beat, then you hear him inhale, and he says your name, foregoing any of his usual nicknames.

‘...Are you… happy here? Does he make you happy?’

‘There's things I miss about freedom, sure, but it's not so bad here. And let's face it, our crimes were probably gonna catch up to us eventually, one way or another, right? And Yancy…’ You let out the smallest huff of laughter, smiling to yourself once again. ‘You're right, it hasn't been very long… There's just something about him, I guess. I know he might be a little much at times but I enjoy being around him, and he honestly seems like he wants to make up for things he's done in the past by being here. Maybe nothing will come of this but even so, in a weird way, he kind of makes me want to do better?’

Mark breathes a good-natured huff of laughter as well, and the two of you take a moment to muse on the irony of that sentiment.

‘I just– I can't handle being stuck here,’ he finally says. ‘But you're right, nothing I've tried so far has worked, anyway.’

‘Y'know… Yancy knows all the ins and outs of this place. He could probably help us if we wanted it.’

‘Do you want it?’

Do you want to leave or stay? The real question beneath it all.

You're quiet again, and it feels as if every possibility is laid out before you, only obscured.

‘I don't know,’ you say eventually. ‘I need more time to think. I just don't want you to think I'm making a choice between you or him, there's so many other things I need to consider. That we need to consider.’

‘That's fair… Just don't take too long, ok? Not like we can pause or rewind time, haha.’

‘Right… In the meantime, could you at least try to get along with Yancy and the others? You might like them if you give them a chance.’

‘... Fine, I'll try,’ he acquiesces.

You raise a hand to your mouth to cover a yawn. A far more comfortable silence falls over the room, and you start to feel sleep overtake you.

‘... Hey, Mark?’

‘Yeah?’

‘We're still partners.’

If nothing else, you hope this will reassure him.

‘...Ok. Sweet dreams, partner.’

[hangeuda]

Tom Kaulitz fluff alphabet

A mosquito bit my ass while I was writing this 😭

Activities-what they like to do in their free-time with their s/o:

He will usually just talk and flirt with you. If you want, he'll try and teach you to play the guitar. Or if you're in the band he'll practice with you sometimes.

Beauty-What do they love/admire about their s/o:

He loves everything about you. You're literally perfect to him. But, if he had to choose, he'd say either your eyes or the way you stand up for the people that you love/care about.

Cuddles- How they cuddle with their s/o:

Usually he's the big spoon or laying on your chest. If he's had a long day, he won't ever say it, but he wants you to just hold him and play with his hair.

Dreams-How do they see their future with their s/o:

He loves you a lot and definitely wants to stay with you as long as he can.

Emotions-How do they express their emotions around their s/o:

At first he won't talk about how he feels, but after he broke down in front of you and you comforted him ( I'll write a fic abt it, maybe.) He started talking to you about things more.

Family-Do they want one?if they do when?:

He wants a family with you, but when you guys are a bit older.

Gratitude-How grateful are they in general?Are they aware of what their s/o does for them?:

He is so grateful for you, like believes he is the luckiest guy cause he has you. And he's aware of everything you do for him and y'all's relationship.

Honesty- Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o?Or do they share everything?:

He tells you everything. If there was ever something he's hiding from you, it's either a surprise or a present.

Injury-How would they react if their s/o got hurt:

He loves you a lot and would be so so upset if you got hurt. Even the tiniest scratch freaks him out.

Jokes-Do they like to joke around or prank you?

Yes, he loves pranking you. Him and the band pull pranks on you. Dw you always get him back 🫶🏻

Kiss-Are they a good kisser?What was the first kiss like?:

Obviously he's a good kisser. Y'all first kiss was very needy and shi. (y'all def did the hanky panky 😔🙏)

Love-How do they show you they love you?:

He does literally anything for you. Need something all the way across the city? He's alr on his way.

Marriage-Do they eventually want to get married?If so when?:

I think he wants to get married, but again, when y'all are a bit older.

Nicknames-What do they call their s/o?:

Baby and any other cute German nickname (I'm too lazy to write them all out sorry)

On cloud nine-How are they like when they are in love?Is it obvious to others?How do they express their feelings?

It's so painfully obvious. He stops sleeping and flirting with other girls when he realizes he loves you and he's so sweet to you. Tom and the band def noticed quickly.

PDA-Are they upfront about their relationship?Do they brag with their s/o in front of others?Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?:

Yes, he loves letting people know you're his. Like "yeah, all this is mine. You can look but I'm the only one who can touch". The paparazzi has so many pics of y'all making out or being close to each other. He always has a stupid grin on his face too.

Quirk-Some random ability that they have that is beneficial to the relationship:

No matter how busy his schedule (I nearly had a stroke trying to spell that) is he always makes time for you. He's also super understanding.

Romance-how romantic are they?What would they do to make their s/o happy?Cliche or rather creative?

He'd do anything to make you happy and he can be romantic when he wants. But, imma be honest, he's not very creative.

Support-Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals?Do they believe in them?:

He will support you no matter what you want to do. He's your hype man and #1 fan.

Time-How long did it take for you to get together?:

It took y'all around a week to get together officially.

Understanding-How good do they know their s/o?Are they empathetic?:

He knows you so well, he is so sweet and patient with you. Yes, he is empathetic.

Value-How important is the relationship to them?What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in life?:

He loves you a lot and your relationship means so much to him. Considering it's one of the few long term, serious ones he's been in. But, if he had to choose between you and the band, he'd choose the band.

Wildcard-Random fluff headcanon:

Sometimes when you guys are eating together, he'll wait for you to look away then he'd steal some of your food and act like he doesn't know where it went.

XOXO-Are they very affectionate?Do they love to kiss and cuddle?:

He is extremely affectionate, his hands need to be somewhere on you 25/8. He loves kissing and cuddling you.

Yearning-What they do when their missing their s/o:

Mans fr acts like it's the end of the world when he starts missing you. But, he'll look at your pictures together or listen to a song you like. If his guitar is near and he can play at the moment he might play it.

Zeal-Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship?:

Yes, he'd do pretty much anything for you and really wants y'all's relationship to work.

Holy shit that took fucking forever and I had like 2 strokes while spelling shit, us stupid people out here suffering frfr 😔

[lunicho]

hi bunny!! i really like ur new theme it’s so pretty<333

if we’re talking about &team sub/dom alignments(?) i thought i’d pop in, but i’ll just pick a few to ramble about like u said in hindsight went off as to be expected

fuma - i really like how u write fuma, he def strikes me as a soft dom, very secure and romantic (i love toxic hcs but i don’t think fuma could ever be mean to his sweet girl<333) but i like thinking about him sometimes as like a daddy dom, or exhibiting like.. casual dominance or whatever it’s called where he shows his affection and.. well, dominance over u, during just like regular parts of the day, i think if it was agreed upon, he would definitely drive you anywhere you needed to go, open doors for you always, order for you (he knows what you want/need), he’s always there to take care of you<3333

nicho - i rly love dom nicho, but i could see him as a dom leaning switch sometimes too.. i think he could really like being taken care of sometimes. i think i wrote too much about fuma cuz i love that man sm so i’ll keep the next ones short but yeah, nicho could sub.

jo - jo soft dom.. i don’t think this is a hot take or anything, but i think he’d be very sweet with you, seems like he’d be pretty romantics once you’re established as a relationship, this is so basic but like size kink with him goes crazy, that’s not creative at all but i think u get me.

i think i’m taking this too seriously, so um.

euijoo - dom

yuma - dom

k - dom (occasional switch)

- 🍑 anon

hi baby! thank u so much! i rlly like this theme too <3 i hope you're doing well and thanks for sending your thoughts!! okay let's get into it!

fuma - we are all soft dom fuma truthers!! it just makes the most sense. he naturally cares for everyone around him and that def doesn't change with you. the non sexual dominance is so true, he doesn't want you to have to lift a finger, doesn't want you to do anything that he can't do for you. he quite literally treats u like royalty like its so good. pulls your chair out, like you said he'd take you anywhere, will always fuck you when you want or need it like he'll give you EVERYTHING

nicho - i definitely think he's a switch and im so glad people are coming to that conclusion as well 🙏🏾 like this man just loves sex he doesn't really mind which role he takes on, as long as u can both make each other feel good. he's often a dom just cuz tbh he's usually the one initiating sex and usually the one that's hard but sometimes he just loves having you take care of him with your hands all over his body, he loves the attention from you so much.

jo - soft dom jo is so true, he's super sweet and attentive and he just wants to make you feel good buttttt i think he's more of a switch/service top. same reasons as why he'd be a soft dom cuz he just likes making you feel good and taking care of u but i feel like he's not super like solid on being one thing or another. he'd kinda just go along with what u say and he'll act accordingly, like if you're feeling needy and want him to take care of u then he will and if ur wanting him to sit back and look pretty then he will do that as well <3

noo don't feel like you're typing too much or taking it too seriously, i wanna hear everything you have to say that's why i asked!! so i need you to come back and talk abt juju dom cuz 🤨 i must know your thoughts 😔

[car-o-line]

Hello!! I've seen your fics and theyre are just so amazing!!(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Is it ok if I request the tbhk characters with a reader who had like really long and luscious hair. Like it's all soft and silky but then on days out of the blue, reader comes to school and their hair is cut up to their collarbones with layers and stuff (as someone who cut their hair and added layers MY HAIR IS NEVER RECOVERING)

EIHEVWHQNA I LOVE THIS IDEA SM I HOPE UR PILLOW IS COLD ON BOTH SIDES TONIGHT🙏🙏 also can relate to giving myself a haircut so don’t feel alone😭

TBHK characters with a reader who cut their long hair

Nene Yashrio:

Omgomgomgomgomgomg-

This girl is OBSESSED with your hair.

It’s just so long and gorgeous and beautiful and amazing and wonderful and adorable she simply just can’t stop looking at it!!

Definitely a hairstylist at heart, she’d give you amazing hairstyles.

And then give herself the same hairstyle! So you guys could be twins!

But then-

“Morning Nene,”

“Good morning Y/n- OH!”

This girl thought she was going crazy for a minute, like yesterday she saw you with long hair and now you have short AND layered hair????????

Did she miss an update or something???

She does that thing what hairstylist does and runs her hands through your hair(messing it up) and gushing about how cute it looks.

Then she’ll brag about how she has the longer hair now.

Hanako:

Oh you thought your hair was pretty?

Watch this man make a it look like a Christmas tree or smth(like what he did to Nene😔)

He sucks at hair, I’m sorry, maybe like a cute ponytail but that’s about it :(

He really likes your hair though!!

It entertains him during your classes if he’s with you.

He plays with your hair a lot, your classmates think ur hairs possessed or something.

Jokes about using your hair as a mop to clean the bathroom floors.

BUT then you showed up with short hair.

Like to your shoulders short.

He was very confused, but then it was replaced with acceptance, then joy🥳

Now your hairstyles will be even more hideous pretty!!!

Honestly no matter the hair length he’ll always poke fun at it(flirting btw)<3

Minamoto Kou:

Definitely tries to guess your shampoo scent-

He has a little sister so he’s somewhat good at styling hair!

He likes seeing you with different hairstyles, ponytails, braids, buns, anything practical looks gorgeous on you!!

But then one day you waltzed on into school with short and layered hair.

Good lord save this boy🙏

Literally had 27 heart attacks and 6 strokes at the same time.

You looked so different but in like a good way yk???

At this point he wasn’t even blushing he looked like he was having a fever.

After his dramatic loss of words he complimented you.

“Oh..yeah, looks nice.”

He’s horrible at hiding his blush but he’s trying<3

Sousuke Mitsuba:

Okay sure he’s THINKS your hairs nice but nothings better than his hair.

He’s such a narcissist istg.

Gives you backhanded compliments on a daily basis.

“Woww Y/n…you sure do have a load of confidence to have your hair in a stick shape..”

“A braid..?”

“Oh so it’s an actual thing!? I thought you were just being like..creative?”

He’s so weird that you can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

But then you came into school with short hair :0

He literally screamed, he thought your long hair was a wig.

But then he really looked at it and gave you his approval.

But he still makes fun of you.

Nanamine Sakura:

An actual hair master.

Look how pretty her hair is, she can definitely give you smth good.

I’d like to think she used to have long hair because how tf are her bangs so long, so she knows what it’s like to have long hair.

Recommends hair products for you.

And would also carry hair ties around for you.

But that goes to waste when you waddled into the broadcasting club with short hair.

A little longer than hers but it’s a lot shorter than what you had.

She thinks it’s adorable<3

Now you both can be twining!

She would help you style your hair like hers.

I literally have no clue what to say about queen Sakura here, just that she’s sane and would have a normal reaction.

Yugi Tsukasa:

Would literally and I am not joking, try and eat your hair.

Or try to strangle you with it idk🤷‍♀️

Would be that brat who’d pull your hair to make you trip when walking.

But he’s doing it because he loves youuuuu😘

Honestly I don’t think he’d care about your hair enough to actually try and style it.

Maybe just mess it up.

Or play with it, like twirl it around his fingers and try to make it curl.

But then he sees you with short hair.

Thought someone cut it off.

You had to tell him you got a haircut, he was still confused but shrugged it off.

He surprisingly got over it and adjusted to it quickly.

But then he asked if you knew where your extra hair was.

“In the garbage probably, I’d be surprised if they didn’t put it in there.”

“Well you should totally go back and ask if they still have it!”

“Why-?”

“So I can keep it.”

He’s a weird little shit.

#GladHanakoKilledHim

[ryuichirou]

Replies

One ask about the Vil drawing from yesterday, one very sweet ask, and one ask that made me think about the logistics of human/dragon sex…

Anonymous asked:

Fuck yeah, child murder

I support Vil's right to just fucking kill people

HE DESERVED IT! This is his stress relief. Vil “I’d never kill somebody unless they pissed me off” Schoenheit.

Although I think it’s very cute that he came back to his senses very quickly in the story. Poor Vil was just shocked that a kid could be this rude to him…

Anonymous asked:

I think I already sent an ask like some time ago, but I feel like it is a good time to state again how enjoyable it is to visit this blog. None of my irl friends are into twst, and I'm too awkward to make friends through fandom/social media, so your blog has been one of the main ways to talk and hear about the silly mage guys. Also I've always loved to touch on mature themes in my favourite fandoms, so I'm glad I can always come here for that.

Anyway, it's been a blast, so I thank you two very much for the great time I've had until now! Your work has helped me a lot!

Dear Anon! Thank you so much for your incredibly sweet message, it means so much. I am very happy that you’re here with us and that you’re having fun here.

It really does mean a lot that us doing all those self-indulgent things could help you on any level. Messages like this one really help us too; whenever things get hard and the pressure starts affecting us and our enjoyment of posting stuff, it makes us feel so much better knowing that we’re not just screaming into the void, and that there are people who find comfort or enjoyment in things that we do.

So thank you once again for sticking around and being kind <3

Anonymous asked:

HIII I HOPE YOU TWO ARE WELL!!!!! Love both your art and storytelling and you guys are probably the reason why I write dark content now🙏

I come with a question hehe

Does Dragon Malleus ever get a proper dick down by Lilia or Sebek or does he have to suffer and get himself off with his tail always😔

Hi Anon!! <3 Thank you so much for your kind words and for liking both our art and storytelling, that’s so cool to hear! Sorry for possibly turning you into a dark content enjoyer lol I’m happy you like it though!

Poor Dragon Malleus probably doesn’t get as much attention, but not because everyone is very mean, but because it’s pretty difficult to have big enough space that is also discreet enough + have enough time to do it. He probably has to fly his suitor to his date spot of choice whenever he wants it to happen… 🤔

But Lilia does treat him sometimes! He is probably currently the one and only person in the world who is qualified enough to satisfy a big hungry dragon lol He has experience… And let’s just say, it’s more energy consuming that any regular kind of fucking because you kind of need to get creative and active sometimes…. Unfortunately, just using a dick isn’t really enough.

Sebek has never been entrusted with such an important task before, but Malleus and Lilia both know that it’s going to happen one day, and that Lilia would have to train Sebek and teach him everything about the way Malleus loves to be pleasured in his dragon form. Sebek has no clue yet… But he’ll do his best!! His dick isn’t as big as Lilia’s, but his limbs are longer and his body is larger and heavier, so Malleus is going to enjoy him once he’s ready.

Oh right, Malleus’ tail. He likes its shape and size, but he the thought of doing it to himself is too depressing. But… he does get lonely and horny, so he entertains the idea sometimes…

[alistarascendance]

author i am so hyperfixated on ur story,,, ANNND since u know about MBTI, what are the ROs’ MBTI if u don’t mind sharing??

lots of love x

oh, hello! so sorry for the late reply, I don’t check this account all too often 🥲 I’m planning on reworking a:a to make it much more fantasy + focused on the story of alistar as a legendary being rather than a normal human, which is kind of ironic, given that a bit of alistar wants to be normal—but I think a fantastical tale would be better for them.

I LOVE mbti. I’m an INTJ myself. As for the ROs… that’s a really fun question. I’ll do all characters, honestly, while I’m at it.

Seven

honestly, kind of an INTP… he’s very curious and has questions for everything. very imaginative, hence the N. he can be a bit dense when it comes to social interactions, even though he himself has a bit of a flirty streak, haha. likes being around people but I’d still say he’s more of an I type. P is a no brainer. T is debatable.

realistically, I don’t think he’d be an INTP (he’s more of an F type, so maybe INFP?) but he certainly has some INTP tendencies. essentially, I’d say he’s a mix of INTP and INFP. or maybe even an ENFP… haha, okay, I’d say ENFP now that I’m thinking about it. ENFP it is!

Saturn

I type for sure. S type also for sure. T is possible, but he also might be an F type. I think he cares a lot about people in general, even if he doesn’t know them personally. I know I’ve said that Saturn is lawful neutral, but now I’m a bit conflicted. I think he always has good intentions. So, yeah, F type. He’s also definitely a J. Stresses out a lot if he doesn’t have a plan.

So, he’s a pretty strong ISFJ :)

Orion

I, N, T, J. Yeah… this one wasn’t all that hard. The first three are obvious. Maybe he’d be a P type, but he seems like he’d sit down and strategize for three hours just to take a five minute stroll down the block. He’s got a bit of that cold, emotionless stoic guy trope that I’m not all too fond of, so we’ve gotta break him out of that eventually. I’ll figure out how someday 🙏

Chain

INT…P. Yep. INTP it is. He’s an extroverted introvert, but an introvert regardless. Might be S type but I doubt it. T is strong. P is also pretty strong. He’s not all too big on plans unless it’s related to his grand master scheme 😩

Argos

ENFJ or INFJ. Probably INFJ. Creative, imaginative guy that cares about people to the point that it debilitates him. Plans things ahead of time. Sounds about right.

Teacher

I’m guessing that 90% of you were waiting for this, bahahaha. Okay, well, let’s see. I don’t think that it’s fully right to restrict something inhumane by something as human as the mbti, but we did it for Argos, so we can do it for Teacher 😍😍 Teacher would probably be an ISTJ or INTJ.

I don’t want to repeat INTJ, but it feels a little wrong to say that he isn’t one. But, then again, I’m not all too sure myself, honestly, so ISTJ / INTJ it is! Orion probably also could be an ISTJ instead of an INTJ, but… I’m not going back to edit it 😔

[scarefox]

Signed up to watch a 2h speech / presentation I need to attend... BUT it is online via zoom so I don't have to go outside and can sit on my couch in a blanket and drink coffe!

It's about new AI laws and legally save AI software... I need to know this as graphics designer 😔

---

lol started with a AI animated avatar / deepfake of himself that totally looked AI because the hand movements didn't match what he said.

Oh no, he is a Zuckerberg fanboy.

This is going to be fun. (probably will get pissed along the way tho)

But they have some lawyers there to answer questions. Yay Christian Solmecke is there too (popular german media lawyer on yt)

---

so far: unlike human made work, AI generated artwork or designs are not copyrighted (in germany) AND if the AI piece is based on an existing human made work and it's still visible in the AI piece you need to get the copyright from the original owner / creator (includes designs, logos, images, text and music)

Copyright owner can opt-out and sue if it's still gets used for AI training / generation (american laws aren't finished yet but also will go into that direction)

---

They test different AI software to give out a little comic scenario. And oh boy as a graphic designer with knowledge about typography the text is triggering me so hard. It's so bad. SEE alone typography is an area that can't be made by a machine because even tho it is based on design laws it's still an intuitive human-eye based way of design. There is a difference between mathematical-centered and optical-centered.

---

Man they are all so horny for AI and reduction of jobs and costs.... But no matter how good an AI could generate an image or video... it will never give you the raw files where you can do individual changes afterwards.

Besides that I still think humanity isn't ready yet for the power and options AI is giving us. (at least one of the very high quality AI builders isn't selling it atm because they are afraid that it will get misused for fake news and stuff, so they try to find a way to prevent that before they bring it on the market)

So many creative jobs and professions that will die out just for us to get 100% digital made "creative" content and advertisements :/ (so far even the most high quality AI still has some small uncanny vibe). Like even actors will be replaced in the future... all they need to do is allow companies to use their face / body.... there is literally a Black Mirror episode about that.

Reminds me of that one AI kpop idol project I have seen last year on tiktok.... absolutely creepy and wrong. I know some of us are simping over anime, game or vocaloid characters but... man idk, do yall want to simp over uncanny digital kpop idols who don't even exist nor actually work for their skills and talent? 💀 Being into an idol is not just about the visuals and songs, it's about their personality and individuality.... for me at least.... (but of course the kpop industry is one of the first trying this). I do like Taemin for example beacuse he's breaking out of the industry norms. AI dude could never be on his level.

---

"Amazing. In a company in the US a CEO told us that with the use of an AI they could remove 700 jobs and save so much money!"

.... yeah cool. Maybe we should remove ALL jobs on this earth and let AI do it, so we humans don't do anything at all anymore. Oh wait, no, of course we still have to do hard repetitive labor like some work drones because it's cheaper than to build and maintain actual robots for these jobs.

---

BRUH of course the event is mainly to sell an AI class from the hosting company. For the cheap price of 4900€ FOR THE LAST TIME because the next class will be over 6000€

I feel like AI bros always hype each other up to blow it all up artificially. Just like NFT and the mobile game market.

---

DID HE JUST SAY that there aren't enough graphic designer and programmer on the market and that they will profit from the support of AI?? (it's actually oversaturated and therefore jobs are hard to get) AI bros really live in a secluded bubble hu? Of course none of these dudes in this event are from the creative industry but lawyers and CEOs

[ambagel]

Do you have like,,,

An OC??? Persona????

Could be drawing or Picrew, whatevers fine.

(no this isn't who you think it is)

OMG HI HI 💃🎉 Hello Anon dw! I have no idea who you are

I'm cutting this because I got too excited🧍‍♀️

Anyway;; uh. I cannot draw (wobbly stick figures do not count 😔💔) so I'm putting this picrew I made forever ago

She's hanging out with Chenya because. Chenya.

I don't know if she's an oc or not at this point 😭 Because she used to be me but also her personality is also just very much;; Not. So she's kind of her own person now.

I also tried to use a different twst picrew for this but it said personal use only, and I don't know if that includes posting or not?? Also it was;; an absolute disaster. NOT the picrew itself, but I couldn't make it accurate at all 🤧

Here's the link for the one I used:

You can't see her very well in this because. Yeah. But her hair is supposed to be a little longer than Epels with like. More curls. And also just a little darker than it shows here??

I. I did also make a wobbly stick figure unfortunately.

🧍‍♀️

She's a lot like Ace if Ace was nice to people

I call her iiil (It is pronounced "ee"....🧍‍♀️) because I am not creative. I can defend myself I promise

Grim is her best friend and she would kill everyone for him probably (and Adeuce I GUESS.)

ALSO Vargas' #1 hater, exercise is shit

[noisyquokka]

GIRL!! I just read your Lino fic and 🧎🏻‍♀️

I see your rqs are about to close so I was hoping maybe you could do a little sumthn sumthn angsty for my boy YangYang? I'd prefer F!reader and sumthn like you broke up and get kinda really jealous seeing him at a party with some girl and maybe you get back together maybe ya don't I'll leave that up to your creative mind? Could you also add Renjun and Xiaojun in as well, like a friend group type thing? I know this is a lot and maybe too detailed but like I NEED more angst from you plz and thank you 😩

Take care and stay hydrated 🤍

Scorched Auroras

PAIRING - YangYang x F!Reader (ft. Renjun & Xiaojun)

SYNOPSIS - You've had your regrets over the years, it's a part of the human experience. But nothing will ever compare to the pain of Him walking out of your life.

WORDCOUNT - 4.4k

WARNINGS - All around Angst, Cheating, Lies, Descriptions of Anxiety Attack, Heated Arguments, Exes to ???, Mentions of Alcohol, Reader wears feminine clothes (dress, heels, etc.), Renjun's kind of a dick in this... he's just trying to help, YangYang is also a dick but it's well-deserved || Let me know if I've missed anything!

A/N - The way I've been wanting to write more angst after that Minho fic, but I've just not gotten around to it... 😔 Thanks for the request, Darling! ngl I spent more time rereading this than I did writing this to the point that I have no idea if this is as good as I originally thought it was, (we love inconvenient writers block) so feedback would be greatly appreciated. And to all you YangYang girlies 👋🏻 I'm sorry for this.

“Huang Renjun, when I find your sorry ass…”

Your heels reverberate against the floors of the house, quick and staccato as you seek out the host of the party. This was supposed to be a chill little get together with mutual friends; all put together by Renjun. Same people. Same place. But when you walked through the front door, you’d been paralyzed.

Through the hall - between the mass of bodies that danced and conversed with each other - you had spotted Liu YangYang sitting pretty on the leather sofa, strumming away on his six-string. His eyes had found yours, and that genuine smile on his face had faded, his brows knitting as he blinked and looked away. He was surrounded by mutual friends, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the group of girls that sat like a pride of lions around him.

Funny enough, looking around the house… this party? Not so little or so mutual. In fact, you’re almost certain there’s friends of friends here, migrating up the stairs that you’ve just traversed. And the majority of them have been gathered around your ex-boyfriend for the past hour like he was the main entertainment of the evening.

So here you are, with a handful of drinks in you and your patience dwindling. You huff, sparing glances through open doors and knocking on others down the hall until you’re finally directed to Renjun’s bedroom by a random party-goer.

“Renjun!” your knuckles rap on the door, calling over the back beat of the blaring music. “I know you’re in there! Open the damn door!”

When there’s no answer, you grunt and knock louder. There’s no doubt he can hear you, your fist aching with every hit to the wood grain. The door opens, a very buzzed Renjun appearing before you.

“Fuck, where’s the fire!?”

You shoot him a glare, leaning against the door frame.

“We need to talk.”

“I’m a little busy at the moment.” He chuckles, glancing over his shoulder. It’s now that you notice the wrinkles in his clothes, his dark hair an unruly mess that he attempts to fix by carding his fingers through the tresses. The smear of red at the corner of his mouth has you narrowing your eyes. You scoff.

“Yeah… busy.”

Renjun stumbles, your hand darting out to snatch at the collar of his white tee. His protests fall on deaf ears as you pull him down the hall towards his makeshift studio. He knows he’s not going anywhere, even as he attempts to wretch your fingers from the fabric.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” The heavy bass drums steady in your chest as you yank Renjun into the room. The moment your past the threshold, you let him go, slamming the door behind you.

“Hey, easy!”

“You lied to me.”

Renjun lets loose an exasperated chuckle, smoothing down the fabric of his shirt.

“I wish I knew what you were talking about.” he says, raising his brow. There’s a ghost of amusement playing on his face. He knows. It only fuels your aggravation.

“Oh, YangYang won’t be there, I promise.” You mock the words he’d told you over a FaceTime call just a few days ago. Renjun meets your glare evenly, seemingly unimpressed. He rolls his eyes when you cross your arms.

“I didn’t know he’d come. He told me he had something planned tonight.”

“Right, fucking fat chance that he’s sitting right where I’d catch him cozied up around a bonfire of girls.”

“The perfect place to play a guitar.” he quips. Your eyes narrow, following his movements as he turns toward the random clutter in the studio.

“You know how much I hate this version of Renjun.”

“Which one?” he asks, a teasing lilt in his tone. He stops at his desk, rearranging strewn journals and crumpled pages that have nearly landed in the bin beside the workspace.

“The one that plays dumb just to get out of answering me.”

“I do not-”

“You do!” you bite, feet situating themselves under your weight. You level the brunette with a pointed look.

“You’re holding out on me, I can tell. So, are you gonna spill or what?”

You watch the cogs turn behind his eyes, bringing a hand up to rub at his brow, clearly frustrated with the way this conversation is going. Brown eyes shift from the far wall, dropping the journals on the desk. He turns to you, a look crossing his face that you can’t pinpoint.

“I already told you, I had no idea he was gonna be here, okay? I asked him if he was coming and he said no.” Renjun glances to your form and the way you’re seemingly guarding the door like a well-trained hound. “I didn’t openly invite him. He showed up on his own. Any reason you’re so pissed about that?”

The question catches you off guard. Any reason you’re so pissed about that? What, with the way things ended, you certainly have no right to be. Ignoring the stabbing in your chest, you lick your lips, nails digging into your forearm. He catches the way you shift, spine straightening against the wall.

“What kind of question is that?” you ask, voice clipped.

“A valid one.” Renjun replies, leaning against his desk. There’s that casual air that he exudes as his eyes rake down your body. Observing. Your choice in outfit; that little black dress, the time you put into your hair and makeup, those stilettos. Renjun knows you don’t put that amount of time into going out unless it means something.

He clicks his tongue, blinks. Bourbon swirls with some kind of intent.

“You’re the one who broke up with him, remember? Although I’ve gotta say, if looks could kill, those girls fawning over him would be dead at his feet.”

“Watch your words, Huang.” you warn, a sharpness to your tone that leaves the guy unbothered.

“I haven’t said a thing… it’s called observing.” His voice is cool as ice, arms coming to cross over his chest.

“You’re implying.”

He laughs, snake eyes pinning him where he stands.

“I’m just stating the facts.”

“You want facts?” You close the distance between you and Renjun so quickly, he doesn’t have time to react before you’re right in his face, “You know exactly what the hell you did. You knew how much I didn’t want him here, it’s why I asked you when you invited me. You made a promise that you blew to the wind.”

Your voice is calm but tight - like a rubber band pulled to its limits. You can’t bring yourself to care about how you come across at this point. Not when there’s seven vodka shots warming your veins, clouding all rationality. Your patience is gone as you glare up at the man, watching as a dark brow twitches behind stray tresses. You’re done playing his stupid little game.

The tink of plastic against metal hits your ears as Renjun swipes a broken guitar pick off the desk into the trash bin, eyes deadlocked on the sneer that’s prying at your lips. For a second, he mulls over his actions that led up to this point. Perhaps he’s being a bit of an ass, but you’ve put off talking things out with YangYang for months. He's felt the strain it's put on the group dynamic, and he’s sick of hearing you both say everything is fine. How can two people be fine when they can’t tolerate being in the same room together? And now you come to him like he’s done you wrong, like what he’s done is unforgivable… Renjun doesn’t get it.

A knock at the door pulls him from his thoughts.

“Renjun, you in here? Some jackass is-”

The door opens, Xiaojun stopping short at the sight before him. The tense charge in the room hits him like a tidal wave, and the scowl that etches your face doesn’t give him much room to speculate.

“Uh, sorry to interrupt.” he says, looking between you two. Renjun scratches at his neck, clearing his throat.

“What is it, man?”

“There’s some guy starting shit by the pool. Thought it’d be a job for the host.”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Xiaojun nods, giving you both one last fleeting glance before the door closes. When the footsteps fade into nothing but reverberating bass, Renjun slips out of the space between you and the desk.

“Where are you going?”

“To take care of damage control, as you just heard.” He turns toward the door with a finality that says this conversation is well over. If you weren’t buzzing, were in your right state of mind, you would have let him go. But the addition of alcohol only egged on your unbridled emotions.

“No, we’re not done talking.” You hiss, a hand darting out to catch his wrist. Renjun groans, and you hear your name slip off his tongue like a bad omen as he aggressively shrugs you off him.

“Stop! Just-” He turns his back to the door, looking at you like you’ve lost your mind. You look on with wide eyes as he takes a deep breath, brows twitching. “You both said that you broke up because things weren’t working out. Something about schedules and other conflicting shit…”

He shakes his head, optics flickering over your face, searching for some sort of answer as to why you're reacting this way. When your shoulders sag, he knows enough. You’re closing off, and as much as Renjun wants to be the friend that mothers you back to good spirits with a gentle hand, it seems that isn’t gonna work. The way you approached this tonight has him clutching at his last straw.

“It’s not my business but-”

“You’re right, it’s not your business-”

“But you decided to make it my business when you pulled me in here and fucking interrogated me! That alone tells me there’s more to the story than you two have let on.” You press you lips together, optics locking onto the far wall. You hear the steady release of a sigh, the rattling of the door knob under his palm. “You’ve been friends for years. You never let the simple things interfere back then.”

“Romantic relationships are different, Renjun.” You don’t need to meet those eyes to know he’s unconvinced.

“You’re impossible…” He mutters. The floorboards groan under his feet as he turns back toward the door, shoulders tight under the fabric of his shirt.

“This conversation is going nowhere. I don’t know why you dragged me in here and grilled me about the one person you don’t want to talk about, but I have a party to host.” His fingers grip the door knob and twist, amber eyes meeting yours over his shoulder.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on between you two, but you need to talk to him. Before the fallout ruins this friend group.”

The door slams shut, and you blink as Renjun’s heavy footfalls fade down the hall. His words sink in. He’s right. You sag against the wall, letting your head fall against the drywall, trying to process everything that just happened. Releasing the breath you didn’t even realize you were holding as the liquor takes another round through your hazy mind. The threat of tears infect your vision, burning even as you attempt to blink them away.

“Fuck.” you hiss, fingers coming to press against the junction of your nose bridge and the corners of your eyes until the pressure conjures rainbow static behind your lids. “Fuck. Fuck!”

You’re ready to leave. Ready to leave this party, block phone numbers and move out of the country if it means you don’t have to face the one person you regret hurting. Selfish, really, but in your current state of mind, it sounds like heaven. You’ve let this situation hang over your head for the past eight months, praying it would go away on it’s own. It’s obvious no God will let you off that easily.

God damn…

Your feet are moving before you can think any further, the studio door left ajar as your figure strides down the hall and descends the stairs. You need a glass of water to clear your head, something to prepare yourself for what’s about to happen. Optics dart to the sofa, where YangYang has been most of the evening, but he’s no longer there. The guitar leans against the wall, propped up with the help of the sofa's armrest. You bee-line for the kitchen.

The main space between the living room and kitchen has significantly dwindled to a small group of people, and you remember what Xiaojun had said about the shit starter by the pool. A simple glance to the back patio tells you that’s where everyone has gone. Empty cups and snack trays are left behind, alongside a few couples making out in the corner, and the few people conversing near the kitchen island, including Xiaojun. He greets you with a soft smile, offering you another drink that you graciously decline.

“You good?” he asks, smile fading into furrowed brows.

“Yeah, I think I’m over the alcohol for tonight.” you mutter, taking an chilled water bottle from the cooler. “Do you know where YangYang ran off to?”

“Last I saw him, he looked like he was leaving for the night.” he replies, taking another swig of his beverage. You blink, cracking the cap on the bottle and bringing it to your lips in one swift motion. Despite the amount of alcohol you’ve had in such a short amount of time, the water you take down washes away your brain fog, and you turn toward the front door with a newfound clarity.

YangYang isn’t gone. You know him well enough. And you’re ready to face him. You have to be. Because you aren’t leaving here until you set things right.

You pat Xiaojun on the shoulder as you leave, a quiet thanks uttered as you force yourself to move toward the exit, fingers latching on the handle.

The cool night air washes over your skin, but you welcome the instantaneous sobering up it provides. It’s quiet out here, as quiet as a house party can get for the chatter and music, crickets chirping in the protection of well-manicured shrubs. With a quick scan of your surroundings, you find who you’re looking for.

Liu YangYang stands at the far corner of the porch, leaning against the railing with his back to you. He’d be unnoticeable by most people, shrouded in October shadows.

You’re not most people.

It’s as if the world falls still in the time it takes you to walk over, your stomach swirling like a blender on full power. He’s by himself out here. That makes it easier, right? You let out a shaky breath, the sudden urge to bolt over the railing and disappear into the woods like a spooked fawn flooding your veins. But you don’t. You can’t.

“We need to talk.” you pipe up, clearing your throat in an attempt to hide the tremor in your voice. Black hair falls into brown eyes, a grunt of your name passing his lips at the sound of your voice. You never want to hear him say your name like that again. Like you're the scum of the earth.

“Heard you were pretty pissed about my being here.” he says. Even under his sweater, you can see how taught his back muscles are, how he's trying to hold himself back. Your eyes slip shut.

Renjun… He must have caught up with YangYang before you could make it downstairs. You let the curses slip to the back of your mind, focusing on the matter at hand. You know this doesn’t have to be hard. Just a short, civil conversation between you and your ex. With a lick of your lips, you try again.

“YangYang, I’m-”

“You know, it’s really fucking insulting to hear that.” He brings the half-full solo cup in his hand to his lips, taking the rest of his drink down in one go. Dark optics stare blankly toward the dimly lit street. “Especially when you’ve avoided me for the past eight months. When no one else knows the truth about you.”

You swallow hard at his comment, staring at the foot that he can't stop tapping against the porch.

“I don’t wanna fight with you, YangYang.” you say, taking a step toward him, “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I need to talk to you.”

You hear the huff of a scoff, and he turns just enough to lock eyes with you from over his shoulder, pupils digging into you from the corners.

“Better eight months late than never.”

“YangYang-”

“What?” he interjects, snapping like a cornered fox, “Too busy with them to come to me sooner with your bullshit excuses?”

YangYang doesn’t need to face you to get his emotions across. You’ve never had trouble deciphering whether he was emotionally six feet under or floating on cloud nine. But now, you feel like you’re Gaia up against the raw power of Helios; a violent storm of solar particles slamming against you in his attempts to protect his heart from freezing over.

The auroras of scorched and unspoken truths. Your magnetic field is battered and bruised too significantly to sustain such a blow.

That’s on you, you know. You’d come to the realization eight months ago when you took that sledgehammer to a decade of friendship. A decade of trust that transformed into so much more. An angel of a boy that you threw away - tore his wings from his back for good measure.

You shake your head, that fire burning behind your eyes.

“You’re not being fair, here.” You whisper, and as much as you don’t want this conversation to escalate, you know there’s no stopping it. You flinch when he whips around, wild eyes boring into yours, a snarl threatening to break the crease of his lips. He points a finger at you.

“You cheated, Love! You!” The term of endearment is anything but; poison on the tongue that used to serenade you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He is the ferocity of a rabid dog in the form of gnashing teeth and beady eyes, panting and growling in warning when you try to console it.

“Two years together! Thirteen years of friendship and trust that you so easily struck a match to like that?! Fucking treated me like I was an afterthought in your daily schedule while we were still together! The nights you came home and lied through your teeth, telling me you were working late… that you were out with friends… Fuck, I even felt you pulling away and I still tried telling myself that I was crazy. No, no, you wouldn’t do that to me. We’ve been through so much together. Fucking fool, I am!”

You watch him through the glaze of tears as he stalks toward you. The hurt in his eyes burns like a serrated knife, slicing away at the worn and ruptured threads of your relationship that scream with every threat of the blade.

“So, no, you don't get to tell me I'm being unfair! I saw the way you watched me tonight. You probably don't realize how many drinks you had because you were too busy raising your hackles at the girls that I was talking to. Ran off to light a fire under Renjun's ass because things didn't go your way.”

Your heart pounds against your breast, your pulse violent in your fingertips. In your head, this conversation played out with less hostility. You expected some anger - it’s only fair with the pain you put him through - but this was another level entirely. In all your years of knowing YangYang, he’d never blown up like this.

Never at you.

Never because of you.

This isn’t the boy that you would race to school every morning, who dried your tears and rubbed the rocks from your knees when you tripped yourself. The one who would send you dumb memes in the middle of class, and took accountability so you weren't sitting in detention alone. Who bought you a promise ring for your ten years of being friends, and another when you celebrated two years of dating.

Your rock in the toughest situations and you threw him into the ocean with little thought. Didn't even watch as he sank to the depths.

You blink, feeling the tears track down you cheeks as you speak.

“I never wanted to hurt you like I did, and I should’ve talked to you about this months ago. I’ve…” You hesitate, “I’ve been think about that night a lot.”

“Good.” He doesn’t miss a beat.

“It was a mistake, and I can’t even give you a good reason for it.” you whimper, breath catching in your throat, “I’m so sorry, YangYang. I-I wasn’t thinking straight. I never should’ve-”

Words fail you, your composure breaking with a burst of tears that hits so suddenly, it's impossible to breathe. You hug yourself with trembling arms, nails digging into your palms.

“I don’t want this to be it for us,” you say, your words strangled as you try to wrangle in your tears, “there has to be a way to fix this!”

He’s close enough to touch, and you reach out with little thought, pulling him into you, wrapping your arms around his torso. Your fingers grip into the back of his sweater as you sob into his shoulder, your body shaking with every strangled hiccup.

YangYang doesn’t move, doesn't push you off. He just stands here. There’s no warm embrace enveloping your frame, no tears to share with you. It’s like you’re hugging a stone statue, the body heat that he exudes being some sort of sick joke when all you feel is the chill of a vacant shell.

“Please, tell me what I can do to fix it!” The plea hangs over you like a specter, ghastly fingers wrapping tight around your throat. The silence grows long, nothing more than faint strains of music drifting through the cracks of the windows and doors of the house, carrying some hint of life beyond the two of you. You almost wish he’d begin to yell again, growl about the extent of which you’ve hurt him. Anything but this indifference, this apathy towards the one girl he’s given everything to. But this… this feels like him finally giving up. Like he’s finally decided that you aren’t worth the trouble anymore. You don’t want to accept it, but every second that ticks by is like another nail in the coffin.

You pull away, fingers twitching as they come up to cradle his jaw. The muscles under the flesh tenses, and he recoils from your touch like it’s physically hurting him, looking off across the street with a hollow gaze. It’s a tortuously long moment before he levels you with those brown eyes. They’re dull when they look at you now; worlds away. A fresh grave, its soil rejecting any and all growth, no flowers, no grass. Seeds greedily plucked from the ground by songbirds and rodents. No one to care for the plot when the soul’s story is made up of little white lies. He watches from the corner of his eye as the tears collect on mascara-laden lashes, the makeup mixing with the liquid as it trickles down and off your chin.

“I don’t want it to be over either,” he admits. A stray tear falls from his lash line, but there’s a void of emotion in his tone. “But…”

There’s that pause again, and you can’t handle it this time. The knot in your chest tightens like a vice, brows pulling inward when he goes to take a step backward. You shake your head, his name sputtering from your lips like it’s the only thing that could offer a modicum of comfort.

“I love you, YangYang,” you say the words quickly, desperately, clinging to his arms as he spares you nothing more than a glance. “I still do, please, please don’t- don’t do this! I’m sorry!”

“That’s the same dress.”

You look up with wide eyes, jaw slack as you sniffle.

“What?”

“You wore that dress the night you came home drunk with them.” he says.

You glance down at the fabric hugging your figure, the memories from that night coming back to you in what little fragments you can remember. Clinging to their shirt as you both laughed between kisses, the clumsy fumble of your key in the lock. You had woke up to them in your bed, a raging hangover, and your boyfriend sitting on the couch in silence when you went searching for a glass of water and an Aspirin. You don't remember doing anything more than kissing, but cheating was cheating. And YangYang had been livid.

He shakes his head, laughs incredulously. “You’re insane. You're dead to me.”

“YangYang, I-” is all you can get out before he’s pulling away again, shoving you off him with enough force to send you staggering to your knees. For a moment you sit there in a stunned stupor, your hands splayed over the wood grain of the porch, gasping for breath as you openly sob. Composing yourself at this point is impossible, anxiety clutching at your lungs like a serpent’s stranglehold. Your legs tremble, eyes burning with unspent tears. He hasn’t walked away yet, and for a moment you think maybe there’s some semblance of salvaging this until-

“Don’t come crawling back to me when they put you through the same shit you put me through. Fucking cry yourself to sleep.”

It’s the last thing he says, storming off as he passes your heaving frame with little more than a glance. Down the front steps. Down the path to the side walk. It’s over. You choke back sobs as you fight for oxygen, numb to the feeling of warm hands on your back. Through the onslaught of tears, you recognize the shoe beside your knee as Xiaojun’s.

You try to focus on his voice, listening to each syllable as he murmurs your name in your ear and his attempts to guide you out of this frantic head space, but all you can focus on is the black hole manifesting within your chest. Your heart is like lead at your feet, your lungs burn, and your ears ring to a fever pitch.

YangYang’s words ring in your head like a death knell. The bell’s final toll signaling the end as the shadow of the man you knew disappears down the street.

You have no one to blame but yourself.

Psst!! If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my work 💕 I appreciate you!

[inkedtae]

Hey love!! I hope you’re doing well🤍

Firstly, allow me to say that your works are genuinely amazing. I absolutely love every single one of them. Please never, and I mean NEVER stop writing!!

Secondly, I’ve been wondering about this for quite some time now so I just need to ask you this;

Where do you edit your banners? They’re so beautiful and detailed, I love them. I’ve been struggling with making nice banners for my stories for a while and thought that maybe you could give me some tips😔 thank you, and happy holidays🫶

hello love 💗

thank you so much!! i put way too much into my stories so it makes me so happy that you enjoy them! ☺️💕

as for the banners, i 100% agree that they are so fucking beautiful but i cannot and have not taken credit for them. most of them are made by others and i always make sure to mention them before every fic. unless you do not find an @ in my author's note about the banner, it is made by someone else. recently, i have been commissioning banners from two very talented and gifted gfx editors: jen ( @itaeewon ) and dee ( @awrkives ). please give all this well deserved love and praise to them! they work so hard and always do such an amazing such at capturing my vision for the banner! though, a lot of the time, i give them free rein to unleash their creativity because they never disappoint! i don't know if they give out tips, but it never hurts to ask.

so yeah whatever fic banner you like on my fics, please check the author's note for the credit and give that editor lots of love 💕

thank you so much for reading and happy holidays lovely! 💓

[wave2tyun]

sooo, hello!!🥹💞 or welcome back!!!!

i don’t really know how to start this, at first i prepared a pretty long text because i wanted to explain why exactly i deactivated and what has been happening, but in the end i chose to scrap that and not get into in detail because it’s all related to my personal life and it's probably better to just keep that private, plus it’s some pretty heavy stuff as well, and i don't want to load that onto you. so this has kind of turned into a ramble instead amdbjdn

truth is that i have been struggling, a lot. october was one of the worst months mentally for me, which is when i chose to deactivate. at some point i did start slowly feeling better and i wanted to come back on here earlier than this but then things got worse🙂 like so much fucking worse😭😭 it’s still hard to believe and it still hurts and i almost can’t stop thinking about it, but looking back, i’m at least glad about getting through things the way i did- because i feel like the me one year ago would have acted and handled those situations so differently, or maybe i would have barely been able to handle them at all.

in the midst of it all, i started to lose my passion for writing. writing stopped being a form of escapism or a way for me to use my creativity. it just felt like a burden. whenever i wanted to write and opened up a doc i just felt paralyzed only by looking at it. i couldn’t get anything out, nothing for days on end. i felt like i was losing myself, in multiple aspects, not just writing, and the disappointment that overcame me only added more and more to my stress.

and i’m not going to lie, i’m still struggling a lot to write again :’) but i do want to give it another try. maybe it’s the fact that i first started out last year in december that is kinda making my heart tingle for it again andbjsns this period of time feels nostalgic:(

however, due to personal reasons (not regarding anyone on here, just to make that clear) i’d feel much safer and much more at ease to continue with a different username, i hope you guys can understand. i do feel very attached to my previous one but i really want to be able to post comfortably.

i do kind of regret deleting my other blog because of all the memories i’ve lost, but at the same time i’m also happy i did it because in a way it allowed me to fully choose to work things out and focus on myself without feeling burdened or rushed.

i don’t know how long it’s gonna take for me to post something new. i’ve been working on multiple things at once but the progress has been quite slow ambdkdn but at least it’s something!!!! so it might take a long time, it might also not. i don’t know, i’m just gonna let things be and let them happen whenever they happen. maybe you guys can also tell me some of the fics i should repost?? i won’t do them all at once cause they were quite a lot and that would clog up the tags anbdjdnd + i also need to proofread them again cause most of the time i’d do that directly on tumblr before posting🥲

soooo yeah. if you’ve read through this whole post, i really appreciate it!! :(<33 i’m happy to return on here while being in a better state, and if there’s anybody who would like to talk, do feel free to send me a message or an ask!! i’m still at home on winter break, but i will go on a trip pretty soon😔✊🏻 just so you know in case i might be slow with posting/replying!!

i hope 2024 will treat both me and you well. i hope it can be a year of growth and love, a year where we can freely let go and start anew. in a world where you constantly get beat down for everything i still want to choose to be gentle, sensitive, and soft. i love you guys!!!! :(💞💓💖💘💞💓💞