#yeah we're getting emotional about worms now

[terrasu]

We've had a little rain recently (like an inch in the past week-ish) and my mind decided to remind me that I haven't seen worms like I used to in rare wet spells in my childhood. I proceeded to have a breakdown about worms and got. Two hours of sleep last night. I found hundreds of mushrooms growing by the side of the house in the frog fruit today, so that helps a little.

[snixkers]

Bailed Out

Pairing: Elle Greenaway × Fem!Reader

Fluff/Minor Angst

For: requst by @lez-talk1 and @imagining-in-the-margins Pride Challenge!!!

Content Warnings: Cursing, internalized homophobia/biphobia, canon level violence, no physical descriptors

Summary: Elle has a crush on you. Elle doesn't want to.

Author's Note: Gotta get my sapphic representation innnnn for Elle. Also, whoever requested this, I'm so sorry, it was lost in the comments. Enjoy!!!

Feedback is always welcome!

Requests are OPEN!

Elle Greenaway knew she was fucked.

She had been held hostage, shot, traumatized, and more in her years at the BAU. But by far, the worst thing was her crush on you.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your smile lit up a room, and your confidence made her feel better by association. But when she realized that the feelings were more than just a like, she began to realize some things about herself.

She had a crush on a girl. And she was a girl. Did that make her a lesbian? She wasn't big on labels, but it didn't make sense. She could flirt with men, find them attractive, be interested in them romantically. Could she do both?

Something about saying that she liked girls was scary. Not that she cared if other people did, but it was herself. She liked girls.

Maybe she was just jealous and dealing with issues after the Fisher King.

Easier to do that than actually mention anything to you.

Which worked well for a couple months, until those feelings started to get stronger. It was no longer that she liked a girl, she was in love with a girl. Which was a whole new can of worms she was not opening.

Every single time you two would get paired up on a case, she would stare longingly at you to the point where Hotch offered time off because he believed she was disassociating.

It was a stupid little crush, and it was getting out of hand. She had to do something about it sooner rather than later.

Elle, headstrong and unable to tackle her emotions properly, walked up to you after the majority of people had gone home and tapped on your back.

"Hey, can we talk?"

You spun around, and it nearly knocked her on her ass just how much you made her day better. All her previous ideas about asking you out or maybe accusing you of some type of witchcraft immediately dissipated.

"Um, do you need more coffee?"

You shook your head, putting in your headphones and turning back to your computer.

"All set."

"Yeah, no problem. Sorry for bothering you."

So Elle Greenaway, who had stared down killers and rapists, fled back to her desk with her tail between her legs.

The second time she tried to ask you out, it was during a movie that Garcia and Reid had dragged everyone along to. The seats were scattered for convenience, and some sick deity* had placed the two of you together.

*Garcia

She spent the entire movie nervously fidgeting, considering asking for another bathroom break before realizing you might think three meant she was having a medical episode.

So she sucked it up, basking in your sweet perfume and the high of sitting next to you. During the credits, you were both getting up when some sick deity** forced her to bump into you. You held onto her arms to steady yourself, and Elle did something incredibly stupid.

**not Garcia

She leaned forward and kissed you before promptly turning around and walking out of the theater.

The next week was tense and uncomfortable, but she made sure there wasn't any chance of another one-on-one.

She didn't try to ask you out a third time. After the movie theater disaster, why should she?

Clearly it wasn't meant to be. She had enough emotional baggage to fill the overhead bins of the BAU jet. It would be better to forget about the whole thing.

But you had different plans.

After a week of avoidance, you walked up to her desk with a purpose, and she immediately panicked. Before she could apologize profusely (since when did she apologize?), you had kissed her.

Oh.

"There, now we're even. But if you want to do me a favor, you could come get dinner with me tonight."

Oh.

"Um, sounds great. I'll just, uh, get my stuff."

Now she sounded like Reid. Dammit. She watched you walk away with a satisfied smile, sighing to herself.

Elle Greenaway liked girls. She liked you. She was getting used to it, but she could definitely get used to you.

[piinktearxs]

bunny food

prompts by @raccoonbabey

prompt: Character A is hungry, so Character C spoils them with candy and baked goods. (Bonus: Character B scolds Character C because “That’s not real food!”)

for anon (im sorry it wasn't exactly what you wanted! but you did motivate me to write lol)

pairings: cg!sam winchester, cg!dean winchester x little!OC (munchkin)

warnings: talks of ghosts and graves!

send me more fic asks! :) i love doing these!

tags, as promised: @bunnybeeblog @simpforstefan

It was a long drive back to Kansas, with a case located in Wyoming, 6 hours of route back to the bunker ensued.

Nobody in the crew really minded, by this point it was almost routine, plus this was an easy case, a run of the mill salt and burn - the only particularity being that munchkin had to distract the ghost while the boys digged the grave. So, she was pretty beat after the hunt, the boys knew from experience that, after most hunts, munchkin regressed - it was her way of processing all the emotions that she felt during the hunt, or anything really, plus, the boys loved caring for her whether she was small or big, they all really cared for each other a lot, but when she was small, she was just "so damn cute" as Dean put it.

They were 2 hours in, 4 left to go, they had had breakfast at the motel, only thing was, they had forgotten to get snacks before the drive.

Munchkin was in the back of the car, taking a little nap, when suddenly the car came to a stop, she then slowly woke up.

"Hey sweetheart, Daddy went to the bathroom, you wanna get somethin' to eat at the convenience store?" said Dean, turning to face munchkin from the driver's seat, she was starting to feel hungry, so, she nodded and rubbed her eyes, still sleepy from her nap. Dean went to open her door for her and unbuckle her, she could do this on her own, but he knew that it made her feel extra small when he did little things like that for her.

As she climbed out of the car, Dean offered his hand "What do we do when we cross the street?" He asked "Hold dada, daddy or dae's hand!" She responded chipperly, fully awake by now, as she took his hand "Attagirl" Dean said as they walked to the convenience store, they ran into Sam, who was just exiting the men's room.

"Hey there kiddo, had a good nap?" Sam asked as he bent down to munchkin's level - "Mhm!" She responded "Dada and I was jus gettin' some snackies 'cause we hungry!" She said, looking at the younger Winchester with a big smile on her face. Sam was happy to hear his little princess verbalizing her hunger cues "I think I'll join y'all then, I'm getting the munchies, too" he said as he took munchkin's free hand and started to chat with Dean when they entered the convenience store.

Sam, being the health nut that he is, immediately went for the veg aisle, whereas Dean took munchkin to his favorite aisle, the baked goods aisle- specifically where the pies were.

As Sam joined them, with a basket containing a big bag of baby carrots and ranch, Dean put in some pie and cookies, he then picked some worm gummies and red skittles, munchkin's favorite candy "I think we're all good to go, ain't we, Sammy?" Dean asked his brother, heading for the checkout counter "Uh, Dean I think we need to get some real food in there" Sam said, seeing that the basket was 70% sweets "Seems pretty real to me" Dean responded.

As the two brothers bickered on what was real food and what wasn't ("Rabbit don't equal real!" "OH, and processed does?" "You're such an almond guy" "There's a difference between almond and healthy!" "Yeah but you're an almond" "That's a meme! And I'm so not" "You so are") munchkin went around the store, picking what she was craving, she saw some carrots with hummus, and grabbed those, she then saw an individual bag of salt and vinegar chips and added that one, too, when she returned to the sweets aisle, she tugged on Sam's sleeve "Daddy in how much time are we gettin' lunch?" she asked, "In about two hours, why do you ask, bunny?" he asked, as munchkin put her picks in the basket "ta see if ima be veery hungry or not so much" she said as she took out her gummies and put them back "gotta leave some room for lunch" she said with a shrug "okie now we ready to go!" she said with a smile.

The boys looked at each other, perplexed, what did their little one just do? She never denied candy of any kind, Dean crouched to her height "Baby, is everything alright? You love gummies" he said, concerned "I know dada, but they's not goin' nowhere, plus, I'm craving skittles more today and we're havin' lunch soon, an' i don't wanna be full by lunch, an' i also wanted carrots an' chips" she said, very sure of herself, it did make sense, what she was saying, still, both boys were confused at her sudden vegetable frenzy, when she was small, she usually dreaded those "you can have bunny food AND sweet food, is all 'bout balance, plus I got some hummus because it tastes better than ranch"

The boys shared an "oh well" look, and the argument was settled, they paid for their items and got back on the road, where they shared what each had gotten, and sang along to their shared road trip playlist all the way back to the bunker.

[passionateseadruid]

Snake king’s bride 9

No sympathy for the Devil

Notes:

WARNING!! SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD! TALKS OF WHAT HAPPENED AFTER CHAPTER 7

It was a cold day in hell. Sinsmas. The actual day, Christmas for the folks up on earth. And here you were in bed alone.

"Hey! It's Lucifer! Can we talk? I brought Pancakes!" Lucifer knocked outside the door. You got up and opened the door to your room. "Hi… I wanna talk about what happened after your family’s party."

"There’s nothing to talk about. Nothing happened." You denied.

"Come on, you can't just bottle up your emotions like that! I made a huge mistake, I thought all this time if I could just shower you in love and intimacy you'd love me. But you cried that night." You listened to him ramble. You took the plate and motioned him to follow you into the room.

"Close the door." You instructed and he followed. "Why do you love me Lucifer?"

"I don't know."

"You're a bad person." You tell him as you sit on your bed and started to eat the pancakes.

"I know. I'm sorry. By the time I realized that my last ditch effort couldn't make you fall in love with me it was too late."

"Is that why you ran out in the middle of sex and didn't come back the next morning."

"Yeah. Was there something, anything, that I could have done to make it better?" He knelt on one knee in front of you.

"Not doing it at all." 

"Well, unfortunately we're past that point darling."

"You know, you're really sick in the head. You coerced me into sex, took my virginity, and you didn't have the decency to clean me up, or even stay with me. Then you come back days after the fact and try to worm your way into my life.

"That's not a fair representation of what happened that night. I kissed you sure, but you were the one who brought me to the bed."

"As you were groping me, shoving your tongue down my throat, and telling me how much you needed me carnally."

"I never wanted to hurt you. The fact that I have hurts me so much more than you could ever realize."

"No no, don't turn this on me. What could I have said? You had the power in that situation. You threatened to kill my family."

"Your dad shot me! And your mom scarred me with holy water!"

"Firstly the bullet bounced off your skin and shattered, and secondly can you blame my mom? You're literally the Devil."

"That's besides the point. Up until that night when have I ever intentionally done anything to hurt you?"

"Well you literally kidnapped me. You're holding me hostage. You've been trying to force me to marry you since the moment we met. You've made several sexual advances on me since then. You threatened my family at the Halloween party. And on top of all of that you're constantly comparing me to Lilith which just makes me feel so shitty about myself."

"Wow, I've been so shitty to you. Are you okay? It feels like you should have tried to run away by now."

"Some days you really make me want to."

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Oo! You can start by eliminating the discrimination against Imps and Hellhounds. Then you can give Styx, Renesmee, Nina, and Pluto Raises, and more paid vacations, more vacation time overall. I get to see my family and friends whenever I want. I also want to see a therapist. And finally I want to go to the other rings and see how the other Sins treat their citizens."

"Wow, that's… a lot."

"After everything you've done to me, this should be the bare minimum." You stood up and walked past him.

"But I never meant to hurt you!" He shot up to follow you. 

"But you did! You try to justify and ignore everything you do! You never take accountability for what you've done! You didn't mean to hurt me! Bit you did! Oh, but I was the one who instigated sex. But you were the one who implied that's what we'd be heading to that night. And I couldn't protest to it because you held the power! You were the one who made the conditions of our deal! I didn't have any room to argue!"

"IM SORRY OKAY?!" He reached out to you but you pulled out of his reach, leaving him to fall onto the floor. He curled into himself on his knees. "IM SORRY! IM SO SORRY!!" He sobbed. "I thought I was doing what you wanted. I was trying to do what you wanted that night! You kissed me back, remember? You grabbed onto me and you led me to my room. I have not been able to sleep in that bed since that night! I have hardly been able to look at you since you started to cry that night. The fear in your eyes, the pain, the utter despair on your face is burned into my brain. I am constantly thinking about how badly I hurt you. And if I have to burn down all of Heaven and Hell to get you to forgive me I will."

"Good. Because I will have no sympathy for the Devil."

[melleonis]

list of worm characters and how good they would be at force fem

beware spoilers

UNDERSIDERS Taylor (Skitter): unless there's an estrogen spider somewhere in the world, no shot Taylor (Khepri): unfortunately, unlimited power comes at the cost of a rapidly-dwindling understanding of gender Grue: lacks both the ability and the inclination. his fragile masculinity makes him a fine target, however. Tattletale: you'd think she'd be good at it, or at the very least sufficiently-advanced egg detection, but she also believes everyone on the team is straight, so this is gonna be a blind spot for her. Bitch: shockingly good at it if the end goal is puppygirl, stone useless otherwise. Regent: i mean. he could, but what's in it for him? easily bored, no patience for process. at best he could manage getting someone into a tutu for a lark before losing interest. Imp: gaslight girlboss of course she's gonna be great at this. what's this? all the contents of your underwear drawer replaced? you didn't do that... did you? who else could have? so you must have wanted this...right? Parian: if you will not wear the dress, the dress will have to come to you. Foil: nah

EVERYONE ELSE Accord: ugh who wants a tidy feminization? Bakuda: hey maybe you'll get hit with the fem grenade! probably you'll just die, or worse. Bonesaw: oh now we're talkin. unparalleled biomech horror force fem game. the mechanical spider tapped into your spinal column decides when it's time to get you prettied up for a tea party. Canary: shania twain karaoke incident feminizes twelve, birdcage for sure. Cherish: trivially easy to set up an emotional conditioning system. wearing skirt? dopamine hit! wearing pants? kill yourself - whoops. well, she'll have a lot of time at the bottom of the ocean to figure out correct feedback intensities. Clockblocker: in theory one should be able to get up to some mischief while someone is frozen in time, but i'm not sure dennis has the ability to freeze someone without also freezing their clothes, which means this has limited utility. could play a support role for someone else. Contessa: effortlessly trips you into a chain reaction that completely reshapes your life as part of a twelve-thousand step plan to improve humanity's long-term odds of survival by a fraction of a percent. thank you for your service. Echidna: all your evil monster clones are girls for some reason. whether this works depends entirely on how you respond to awkward post-incident questions your friends have about it. Eidolon: yeah i mean he could. but it doesn't make him feel globally, historically important so he's not gonna. Gallant: is "feminine" an emotion he can inflict? girl feelings beam attack? shame we'll never know, RIP. Gregor the Snail: nothing in canon says he can't secrete a mildly acidic ooze that turns you into a slime girl. Jack Slash: broadcast shard should in theory mean he can easily manipulate other capes into getting feminized, but that's less time spent on self-aggrandizing mass murder, so. Marquis: bone structure matters less than you'd think in the grand scheme of things, but yes he can reshape your jawline and cheek bones, give you those child-bearing hips. pros: he doesn't kill women, so you're that much safer. cons: it is going to hurt like a motherfucker. Number Man: oh no your company has fallen on hard times and you've been laid off! and how peculiar that the only business hiring anywhere near you is the maid cafe. it says they're very strict about their dress code but that's probably fine. and food's gotten so expensive but wait these odd imported protein shakes are absurdly cheap... Panacea: you know what the joke is already, come on. Scion: has Path to Victory and would never in a billion years think of using it for anything fun.

and finally,

the Simurgh: best in show. sure, it'll take four years for the triggers and conditioning to work their way through your subconscious but when they do...

BONUS Simurgh/Dragon double-team: Defiant probably never spent enough time close to the Simurgh to get affected, plus he had those high-tech earplugs he designed himself, so surely he's fine. nevertheless, his focus wanders during a critical moment while editing Dragon's source code, and now she's bossier, maybe even a little meaner, and the prosthetic parts she's making for colin's cyborg body are... different. curvier, softer. and every time he tries to find the problem in her code he gets distracted, and she gets more and more imperious. can he find a way out of the Simurgh's conditioning and his AI lover's domination? will he have to seek help from Saint - or worse, Teacher? surely they wouldn't take advantage of him in his vulnerable cyberdoll state?

[hakugin0]

So that new Levi card, woah boy(positive). I get how setting is slightly dubious but unfortunately my brain stopped at the ‘childish jealousy’ part and yeah childish was the perfect word he actually is throwing a bratty tantrum about MC talking about their time with Minhyeok WHILE THEY'RE NOT EVEN NEXT TO HIM. Levi, babey, you're not beating the Tsundere allegations.

Also the part about the sins was very interesting ‘cause it kinda puts in perspective why he feels like there's no King he's close to. Or at least that's my read on that part, all their sins have some positive parts while his is the only fully negative one so of course he couldn't feel close to them. (Personally I do think that part is his viewpoint on their sins and it would be interesting to see the other Kings’ too, Satan in particular since I feel like his sin and depressive mood swings do go hand in hand)

Now for the read more aka wiiiild speculations because he didn't come home in the reduced ten pull aka see you in 3 months bae when I have 500 pulls and you still refuse to show up(looking at you bath Satan), fair bit of character analysis and slight canon divergence(???) plus personal MC involvement.

GONNA PREFACE THIS BY WAVING NY ‘LEVI SIMP’ FLAG UP HIGH, IF THE CARD STORY WAS OFF PUTTING TO YOU OR YOU DISLIKE HIS CHARACTER IN GENERAL THEN MORE POWER TO YOU BUT PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST! IT AIN'T MEANT FOR YOU HOMIE (it's meant for me first and then anyone else who wants to witness my 3am insanity)

Aight? Aight! Here we go gamers

Gonna start this off by saying that when they dropped the first teaser for the card my expectations for the story were jelly Levi wants to replace minhyeok and thus enters MC's memories except surprise surprise it was actually some corn set in a high school (don't pretend those aren't a thing, we're all adults here, and with MC’s track record in that game it would not be surprising) in part because the story had to get spicy at some point.

Personal belief is that what we see in the prologue of Levi is the closest thing to a ‘normal’ him aka a version of him that got to experience a normal childhood and not have all the trauma of… ya know… HIS WHOLE PAST. The way he expected an attack when MC initially trips breaks me in a very particular way, he has never known peace, he expects everything to be some sort of attempt on his or his people’s life. The one time he wasn't as uptight ended up with him heavily injured (Bloodshed card).

There is also him ascertaining that they had different starting points. Now this could refer to a lot of things but to me one thing that does is put a definite line between them. To me it sounds like he's reasoning with himself that because of their very different lives they would be incompatible (combined with that thing about his sin being the only negative one it shows he always separates himself from people he would otherwise form bonds with)

Now he's still not nice, far from it, but he can be accommodating and look out for MC when he is not thinking 24/7 about possibly being attacked. Whether he reasons that it would endear himself more to them or out of pure instinct he looked out for MC, those were not Minhyeok’s actions he mimicked but his own.

So yeah, average Levi is horrendously bad at emotions and frankly probably the one who understands his own emotions towards a potential romantic partner(since tbh that is what MC is) the least. (This is a whole other can of brainworms about how aside from Solomon he probably has not been attached to anyone in that way until MC based on something he says in his H-Scene, but that can of worms shall be opened later) please get some therapists in Hell, clearly everyone would benefit from it.

There is also something impossibly endearing to me about seeing Levi in a high school setting even for a bit because that's not something he ever experienced and I wish his time exploring that part of MC and Minhyeok's past was a bit longer. I want to believe MC gets to ask him later in the story how he felt about it.

---

If you were only here for the character analysis then thanks for reading, have a lovely day/night/evening, we are going into wild speculation territory and some personal things regarding my MC Jin in that particular scenario.

tl;dr: After Jin's parents were killed she pretty much secluded herself in their home doing most of her studying through online courses and only showing up physically at school for a couple of days.

I choose to believe she was aware of stuff from the start but in that way you're aware you're in a dream while you sleep, she can tell things are a bit off but not fully what is wrong. She knows the person with her is not Minhyeok, she also knows who Leviathan is, but there's a certain disconnect when trying to piece it all together, but the further the dream goes the more she ‘realises’ and ‘awakens to the truth' if you will.

She cannot help but pity Levi’s situation even if she knows if she ever said that she'd probably get insta-hanged, so a part of her cannot help but wonder if he wanted to experience some normalcy for once. (She's not the brightest tool in the shed so the fact that he wants to replace Minhyeok would not pass by her singular braincell) (I love her I swear, being mean is my love language)

So I imagine after the whole dream thing is over and she next visits Hades she doesn't raise any questions about that event. She seems annoyingly unbothered and not curious at all. If anything this just makes Leviathan more angry because she can't be that unbothered after everything and pretend nothing happened, he should've been the only thing on her mind and yet she still sometimes mentions that detestable human. Oh how he should hang her for it. And then one day she has a conspicuously familiar candy in her mouth. “Was the experience at least a bit pleasant?” She's soft spoken anyway but she sounds almost apologetic. Why yes the experience was quite pleasant if Levi had to be honest but he'd never praise her openly… and then it hits him. She's not asking about that, she's asking about how he felt in a normal human high school.

When she gets no answer she stammers and starts speaking again, trying to fill the void. “I didn't exactly… go there often…” The pauses are plentiful and her shoulders droop almost in shame. “... so I imagine whatever you saw was rather lacklustre… aside from… my pathetic display-”

“It wasn't bad.”

A short sentence and it was enough to make the human girl perk up instantly. From anyone else that would be considered nigh an insult, but with Levi's temperament that was the highest praise she could hope for. By the time Jin was next to his desk after he'd beckoned her with a wave of his hand her visage had brightened significantly. ‘Stealing’ the lollipop from between her lips was ‘child’s play’ after that, the girl clearly took stunned to speak and becoming redder by the second.

“Yes, not bad at all.”

[not-poignant]

OMG, I literally found your Astarion/Raphael fic yesterday, desperately looking for something like it. So happy someone else had the same brain worms as me XD

I was wondering if I could pick your brain a bit about what kind of direction you think you will take the fic? I was wondering if you had any plans in your head or if you are just following the vibes so to speak.

Especially with Raphael being in the pairing, I wondered if this is more of a "It turns out they are actually good for each other" kind of thing or more of a "Astarion has to find out what his life is going to be now/get over some things and Raphael will enjoy every second of making him squirm" kind of thing.

In any case, I am looking forward to reading more, thank you :)

Hi hi,

So I guess answering this would kind of be talking about really end-game spoilers, but I also don't have a plan for this story beyond Astarion/Raphael, and 'hopeful ending.'

(I mean I do have more than that, I just don't know how much of that I want to reveal at this stage, when it's only chapter 5, and this story could easily be over 40 chapters long - there's a lot of potential for change and growth that could alter the trajectory of the relationship in a lot of different directions.'

What I will say is that:

I do not consider Astarion giving into a regular non-consensual situation and just accepting it and making painful peace with it, a hopeful ending type situation. Agency is important to me in my characters. Even if he one day decides to voluntarily submit to scenes he doesn't love - that would at least be a choice. Anything done while under contract with difficult consequences will not be where the hopeful ending happens.

It's an Astarion/Raphael story, therefore the hopeful ending will be an Astarion/Raphael ending. That's just how my brain works. It will not be a 'they break up and THAT'S why it's hopeful.' However, the end may not have a conventional looking relationship. And I've written unconventional endings in relationships before (like Stuck on the Puzzle)

For me, a hopeful ending (as opposed to a happy ending) means that we have to have confidence in the idea that Astarion's life will continue to improve and get better even after the story has ended. There's now enough evidence that he has enough enrichment and potentially for happiness in his life, that he won't downward spiral like he has in the same way again. This means he needs - more support, more healing, healthier avenues for communication even if the relationship isn't healthy overall all the time/every second, and some pretty big personal realisations about what he wants in life. Hopeful ending is both 'better than where we found him, but also genuinely, when most people think on the last chapter, they think 'he's got some ways to go in healing, but I really think he's/they're going to be okay'' not just physically, but also emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

Those are the things I'm happy to reveal because that's how I feel about almost all of my hopeful endings. That's what that means to me.

I do think Raphael and Astarion can actually be good for each other, but I think we're missing huge pieces of the puzzle as to why that's true. Because we're missing so much of Raphael's post-death story, because he's deliberately hiding it.

But we'll find out more soon. At some point, High Inquisitor Verillius Receptor will visit, and then we'll find out a lot more, lol.

(Also yeah this story will be long, easily I suspect around 150k in length as a baseline - we're on an emotional journey folks! Sometimes the growth will be healthy, sometimes it'll be negative, we're going in all the directions lmao).

[intertexts]

OK. OK OK OK. HI. IM AT WORK NOW SO THIS IS GONNA BE DISJOINTED AND NOT MAKE A WHOLE LOT OF SENSE BUT IM COOKING SO THIS REQUIRES AN ASK AND NOT A REPLY BC THOSE HAVE CHARACTER LIMITS (cooking both metaphorically and literally because it's 95 degrees outside at 9am and it is so so so so fucking humid) oh god get me out of the kitchen before i start burning things!!!

this could be Nothing. bc again I desperately need 2 learn more about cauldron and their motivations and such. BUT. going back to the tide/leviathan comparisons because they're making me kind of insane and i want to give him a Complex about it. because if we're not going to lobotomize him I need 2 hurt him in other ways (sorry dad)

so. this doesn't EXACTLY work 1:1 because there are only 3 endbringers and only 2 of them seem to be element-focused as far as i know. but if we have tide as a comparison to leviathan, we also have MAGMA who could be a comparison to behemoth if my thoughts are correct and behemoth is . big fire guy (he sleeps in a volcano so. I'm assuming.) . granted we also have like. whirlwind and shockwave and seismic who are the other elementals and they don't actually have an endbringer counterpart BUT IM !!!! going a little crazy thinking about like. if tide + his siblings are artificial capes, what if they (or at least he and magma because I'm kind of thinking abt them as the older ones. havent listened to the oneshot in a while so this may not be accurate) were given their powers SPECIFICALLY to be counters to the endbringers. or at least in an attempt to make a cape equivalent of the endbringers to better like... study their powerset or something. (I keep saying cauldron studies things bc I said that with david too and this really just comes from my inherent need for a big evil science team. in worm it seems like they're more capitalism focused but let a guy dream here)

this also brings up an interesting point with Elle who i know u don't know yet but she could be an interesting counterpoint to simurgh? Who as far as I know now isn't necessarily elemental but . neither is Elle really!! and that creates the big disaster in the oneshot bc she can't control her powers and goes kind of nuts about it.

anyway anyway anyway. tldr; tide and magma were specifically created as parallels to leviathan and behemoth, this wouldn't really be common knowledge to the rest of the capes bc of cauldrons secrecy BUT i think ppl would definitely notice the similarities in their powersets and that makes a subconscious fear response in people who have seen an endbringer attack firsthand (I believe in scary intimidating tide supremacy but then you talk to him and he's the sweetest human being in the whole world) . tide and magma both know this and have complicated emotions about it. I think tide has a very bad reaction to the leviathan attack if we are keeping that as an event that happens.

OR IT COULD ALL BE COINCIDENCE AND THIS IS NOTHING. but until i learn more about cauldron I am choosing to view them as my favorite trope of big evil science corporation <3333

OHH U R FUCKING COOKING DUDE YEAH <333

it is. so hard whenever u r talking about cauldron.... mallard conway ass levels of "oh okay i literally Cannot talk about this or else im accidentally gonna say spoilers." but. i DO think this goes so hard & conceivably makes sense for cauldron to do...... man one day in the far future we're gonna have to sit down and talk about if cauldron even would exist in this au. but. for now. hehehe :33 & i will say!!! i will say!!! research is. involved, in what they do. you are not off the mark.

ANYWAY. love this for him so much..... the way he moves and acts in a fight echoes leviathan.... does he have that water afterimage too??? when he's fighting?? because that shits cool as hell he should have it. i'm always just really ill over someone made to be a weapon who never wanted to be one.... tide you have to be at the leviathan fight but you shouldn't be :(((

i gotta listen to the elementals oneshot i have it downloaded rn.. i wanna know elle's deal because you have just said something unwittingly extremely funny & i need to know What happens to her before i comment on it!!!! anyway!!!! thinking abt tide lambert forever & always...

[fluffypotatey]

sorry. even more thoughts from gumy. hey in the s3 finale there's a direct contrast between mk's "i'd never abandon her when she needs me! we're heroes, it's what we do!" vs mei's "that's the hard part of being a hero!" as she tries to burn wukong to a crisp. the different facets of being the Hero

the contrast between MK's "we're Heroes! it's what he do!" vs Mei's "that's the hard part of being a hero."

dam T^T

but yeah, let's dissect this a bit more :)

well, we (the audience) know that both Mei and MK think of themselves as heroes. we first meet Mei when she saves MK, and our first scene with MK is him idolizing how "heroic" the Monkey King is. even after getting the staff and being dubbed as Sun Wukong's successor, MK wants to help people (he does it first by deciding to bring the staff to SWK because, you know, he's never fought bad guys before). MK's heroic ideology is to "help everyone," "save everybody," "protect my friends and family from the evil™️" and "no man left behind" (except himself)

Mei's is very similar but different. "Protect friends and family from the evil™️," "save those who cannot save themselves," and "protect others from themselves." this is probably why she was able to reckon with the act of burning SWK to a crisp because it was risk she was willing to take. the needs of all trump the needs of one no matter how much it might hurt

but MK can't do that. he has been shown how much he cannot do that. all of his plans are ones that are meant to ensure everybody survives and lives to see another day. (see, MK having everyone fight Peng and Yellowtusk while he and SWK fight OP!Azure.) and if he is told that there is no other way than to sacrifice another or that it's possible someone is lost forever, MK will try to find another way. and so far, his method has worked (bc he's the MC and the narrative cannot work if MK fails but that's more of a technical behind the scenes outlook rather than "in-story" which is a whole other can of worms and is not at all a part of my point)

however, Mei is shown to be a bit more grounded and have a realistic view that sometimes...you have to face the fact that there is no other option. Wukong's scroll being sliced? there was a very high likelihood that the monkey king was lost forever. MK refused to see it, but Mei knew that the chances of them even bring him back were super, super slim. Mei "understood the risks" so to speak that happy endings are not guaranteed. that the world is more gray than it is black & white.

in a way, both of their ideologies complement each other. it's why they are such a good pair as friends and when fighting together.

ignoring my urge to sob, fucking look at these two T^T and doing some quick research on the web, yellow and green are said to be the colors of hope. both colors have mostly positive meanings, so put together simply adds to their individual hopeful vibes and doubles it, basically (idk color theory this is my interpretation of what i read and how i can apply it to MK and Mei)

they may not be complementary but they do compliment each other in that yellow brightens the room and provides a soft light while the green can provide a bit of that grounded darker tones and make a room more fixed. (wtf am i saying, why does this make sense to me, how am i mixing home decor with-)

so yeah, while the colors are different facets of hope, MK and Mei are also different facets of what it means to be a hero (selfless, compassionate, self-sacrificial, loyal, willing to do the impossible vs willing to do what's necessary for all) and i am now very emotional about them T^T

[vetrenar]

Ok, the second part of my rambles or why hugging Knives should be considered a form of convention weapon and must be used as often as possible.

A little disclaimer: what I'm gonna to talk about is applied mostly to Stampede and manga Knives. Not so much to 98, because while, objectively speaking, there is no reason for it, I kind of have a feeling that other two would very like to punch him to a pulp. The guy has an incredibly punchable face.

...Sorry, wrong picture.

Now, a question. Does Vash love Knives?

Yes, of course. Despite everything Knives did, Vash still consider him his brother and wants them to put away their difference.

Next question: Does Knives feel this love? Or, maybe, I'll paraphrase a bit: does he believe in it?

And here things become tricky. Because yeah, at some level Knives knows that Vash loves him. His little brother is a kind creature, after all, that's ready to share his heart with the whole world. He wants to save humans, wants to save Plants, why not to want to save Knives too, in this mix?

The problem is, Vash, bless his heart and everything, is a damn hypocrite. He gives promises that he isn't able to keep, runs from places to places doing essentially nothing and always, always, always, puts humans first.

So yeah, he loves Knives. Just as he loves his sisters, or maybe worms on this planet. As long as humans are safe, Vash is ready to feel sorry for them, or maybe even ask for forgiveness for everything humans put them through. They'll become better, one day.

And the worst part? Knives isn't exactly wrong in his assessment. Because Vash does put humans first, Stampede especially. And although a big part of the reason for that comes from his guilt complex and well, Knives, maybe you should have thought it a little better before putting it on your brother, but the fact stays: between a Plant and a human, Vash will instinctively choose a human.

Now, let's talk about the aftermath of Tessla's case. Stampede very suspiciously omitted most part of it, showing only Knives' choice of Vash's memories (and keep in mind that the whole point of that showcase was to break Vash, so Knives' "confession" of his motivations can't be taken at face value) and I will die on the hill that in the second season we're going to get Knives' round of it, but for now, let's go with the manga.

We know how it did go: while Vash had his emotional breakdown, Knives fell into coma. It isn't clear, did he faked his amnesia or not but even he didn't, the subconscious trauma still stayed.

And the first thing he saw after waking up? Vash and Rem, laughing together.

Think about this. Vash saw the extent of Knives shock, watching his brother being comatose for days. Even though he wasn't conscious, Vash had an affirmation that his twin shares his grief. Knives, though? He didn't have a chance to see Vash's resentment, desperation and anger. For him, his brother just... Brushed it off. Made a peace with it. And even if the wording was different, even if he was told something like "I understand if you're angry" - Knives already lost his affirmation. He had no chance of showing his anger, not when his twin was so calm about the matter and obviously decided to stay at humans side.

For Knives, Vash has already abandoned him for humans. Forgiveness is a thing that exist for sake of a victim, not a perpetrator, but Vash has already forgave theirs, therefore forcibly dragging Knives along before he even really started to proceed everything.

And so, Knives acted as he, with this mental block, was allowed to:

... And you know the reason of the story.

And after that? Constant arguing about how they should forgive and accept humans. (For manga, it's after the Fall, but in Stampede it started already on the ship. I'm sure that Knives read Bible before, just like he watched war movies before in manga. But after Tessla, he started to see evil there). Open expressions of fury, fear and hate from somebody who is never bothered to even become a bit angry on their sisters' behalf. A gun in your face after you saved his life.

Yeah, Vash's feeling are much more complicated than that. Alas, Knives doesn't have much chance to see that. From his point of view, Vash is ready to forgive humans everything, but Knives? He gets a gun and speeches how they all should live in peace. With a great plan mostly consisting of Plants forgivinig humans until they become better.

So, at some point Knives just... stops listening. He already knows what his brother thinks about him. It doesn't matter. Knives won't let Vash's hate stop his love for him. Gunshots, Vash's cries of anger, pain, fear - it all become a white noise that should be ignored.

Ignore when they hurt you, just do your thing and come to them again and again, and one day they will listen to you? Ironically, but for most part, it's exactly how Knives tries to act with Vash. Well, in his own, a bit psychotic, version of things, with him not only waiting but also taking some actions. (Ok, a lot of actions.)

And it's incredible how all that cold and collected persona dissipates on 12 ep of Stampede, where Knives is left with nothing but a desperation to make his brother understand. Only for Vash, when Knives lays his heart bare, to reject him. Again.

And Vash has his own reasons. Completely understandable reasons, I would say, because while he is a superhuman only in physical sense on things. He had his own anger, and pain, and fear, and inner struggle. Knives hurt him enormously and there is no wonder that Vash doesn't want to give up his stance. And he shouldn't, really. But...

Knives isn't strong, at least, mentally. He created this illusion of being the older, the one in charge, to protect himself (in Stampede, this illusion starts a bit earlier, with him being the "perfect Independent" who for some reason should hide his powers and "weak" Vash, who is, by Rem's words, "perfect as he is") but in the end this made-up hierarchy harmed both him and Vash, locking them in their respective positions. And Knives was motivated by fear, he wanted protection, wanted Vash to stand up for him - something what Vash, who for so many years saw Knives as the strongest one, the one who decides, the one who must be defeated, wasn't capable to do and had no idea about. He had his own personal growth to do, and couldn't be the mentally senior figure Knives needed.

And that's why one day I going to write this fic about TriMax Vash finding himself in Stampede world. These idiots clearly need an older brother.

For Knives, Vash was the one who abandoned him, again, again and again. The one who blabbed about love and peace while aiming a gun at him. For over hundred years, there was only one case when Vash prioritized Knives over everything else, took his side clearly enough that there were no ways left for Knives to doubt it.

And guess what? This single act snapped Knives out his frenzy better that all these bullets before that.

And I'm quite sure that Stampede plot could be quite shorter if upon that meeting five years after the Fall, Vash would confirmed that yes, he understood Knives' ire before confronting him over humans death. Like, the kid was one hug away from breaking down. Too bad that he never allowed himself acknowledge it.

So, the moral of the story: hug your Kniveses. Be cautious, though, because while Vashes bite, Kniveses... Let's say that they aren't very good for your extremities. Assert your dominance with care and don't force them to bottle up their anger, even unintentionally. If you do it right, everything will be fine.

... Well, maybe. Hope for the best, one day it surely will be alright.

[gatheredfates]

FIVE SONGS I'M INTO RIGHT NOW ✧˖°.

Tagged by the lovely @tsupertsundere, thank you! I try to listen to my Spotify recommendations when I can, so I do have a couple of new songs to share.

KIJO by Memorist

Are you lonely? I hope you are. 'Cause I found a way out of the dark and it will shine a light on all your scars. / The things you say held on forked tongue behind enamel cage.

I have been OBSESSED with this song for literally three days. I think it's the all the emotion the singer has when he asks 'you' are lonely. It gives me huge Kor vibes in thinking about her father, her sister (there's a line right at the start of the song about two souls), and his outlook on the world.

HOLD ONTO ME by Breaker

If you could see exactly what I see, you'd know why you have a hold on me. But you don't wanna hear the truth, why you're the only one I choose.

Kijo managed to grip me tighter than Hold Onto Me, but it's equally a really good song! I like it's opening.

NOBODY by Faith Marie

The darkness swallowing me whole could never strip me of your soul. These chains so complicated, these memories so faded. They say I can't feel nothing but in the ocean, I heard a heartbeat.

Are you a Kingdom Hearts fan? Do you love Dearly Beloved? This is SUCH a pretty tribute song and I'm delighted I found it.

CAROUSEL by Echos

Go slow, I don't wanna get sick on it. Poison on your tongue made me pay for it. There's no end in sight, no we're not stopping, hold me by the throat so I don't vomit.

One of my really good friends is super into Echos and always sends me her new songs so I can obsess with them together. (It's really good, you should check it out!)

HEART OF DARKNESS by Grim Salvo

As I journey deeper into the heart I see mothers eating the weakest of their young. I'm not done! Promised myself I wouldn't succumb, giving all of my blame away to the bugs. / God no! I don't remember the way home. Born scared, I admit it, I really don't wanna go, no!

This song is so EDGY, but I vibe with it so much. This was my previous ear worm before KIJO and gave me a tonne of inspo when thinking about El and her thoughts around the void/Ishgard.

Tagging: @viiioca, @lilas, @omnifariousness, @unbreakable-oaths, @constellationkeeper, @lavampira, @this-is-ris, @iron-sparrow, @oh-yeah-no, @feathersage and you!

If you'd like a chance of being tagged, you can like my permanent interaction call here!

[umgeorge]

george russell is interviewed during the press conference on media day, japan - april 4, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "George, coming to you now. First of all, any ill effects from your crash in Melbourne? How are you feeling?" George: "I'm feeling all good." Interviewer: "Thank you. Look, let's talk about this weekend and the performance of your car. It seems to fluctuate from race to race, sometimes session to session, so how confident can you be, coming to Suzuka?" George: "It's still obviously early days in the season. I think there's a clear trend where we know our strengths in the car, our weaknesses. Definitely performing stronger in the low speed corners, struggling a bit in the high speed corners, of which there's more of in Jeddah, more of in Melbourne, more of in Suzuka. These are the fastest circuits of the season. There's still plenty to understand, so as I said, still early days. We know we're not where we want to be, but everybody's working really hard to improve the correlation, get a bit closer to what we're seeing at the factory on the simulator and find some performance." Interviewer: "You've been driving the sim back in Brackley since Melbourne. Did you make any breakthroughs there?" George: "I think every time you're back, you're understanding things further. There's never gonna be a silver bullet for any team. You're chipping away at it, you want to find big breakthroughs, you wanna find big gains. It's rare that these happen these days in Formula 1. The level is so, so high. Everybody's moving forward, but we're confident that we're gonna make another step in the right direction. Will it be enough is another question, but as we said, it's still early days in the season." Interviewer: "Alright." [time jump] Journalist: "Nelson Valkenburg, Viaplay, Netherlands. Mostly for George, this one, but for the group, as well: A lot's been said about brake-testing last week. Is there a discussion to be had amongst yoursleves about what is legal, what is normal, what you can do and what you can't do? Do you expect more discussions to be had? For you, George, and also for Max, possibly?" George: "Yeah, I think it was obviously a bit of a strange situation that happened last week. As I said at the time, totally caught by surprise. I was actually looking at the steering wheel, making a switch change in the straight, which we all do across the lap, but when I looked up I was in Fernando's gearbox and it was sort of too late, and then next thing I know I'm in the wall. So I think if it were not to have been penalized it would have really opened a can of worms for the rest of the season /and/ in junior categories, of saying are you allowed to brake in a straight? Are you allowed to slow down, change gear, accelerate, do something semi-erratic? I don't take anything personally, with what happened with Fernando, and it probably had bigger consequences than it should have, but as I said if it went unpenalized, can you just brake in the straight? I don't know, so… Yeah. Nothing more to say, really." [time jump] Journalist: "Diego Mejia, Fox Sports, Mexico. Question for George: George, did you get to speak to Fernando after his penalty? Was there any need to clear the air over it?" George: "Yeah, we actually saw each other back home, just coincidentally bumped into each other in a coffee shop…" Verstappen: "Did you brake test him there, or no?" George: [laughs] "No, as I said before, it's nothing personal. When the helmet's on we're all fighters and competing. When the helmet's off you have respect for one another, so of course a lot of emotions in the moment, but we both moved forward from this." Interviewer: "Did you discuss it in the coffee shop?" George: [laughs] "No, we didn't. So he didn't get my coffee, though, so that's probably the least that could have happened, but no, it's history now."

[feekins]

woof. ch 6 is a LONG and DENSE one. I foresee this post getting a bit text-heavy to compensate for The Tunglr's ten-image limit. in any case, here are more of my thoughts and things and whatever translation weirdness I find as I re-read Trigun Maximum vol 4!

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

so. interesting start. Dark Horse's "fell to this planet with us" implies that worms (wamz? bah. from what I remember, they're p consistently collectively referred to as "worms" in the manga, so yeah, I'm going with "worms" from here on out) are also extraterrestrial to Noman's Land. I can see how/why the mix-up could've happened, though, so to me it's just a funny lil quirk of the Dark Horse translation. nothing egregious. also, although both translations effectively set Vash and Knives apart from humanity here, I appreciate the specificity of the Overhaul's "Yes-- These are the different ones."

then, right after the title page, I LOVE that detail we're given about Zazie - that they "can naturally read the feelings/emotions of all living things" (Dark Horse/Overhaul, respectively). and then Meryl apologizing to them? and Zazie not quite getting why? is adorable (Meryl and Zazie ship when?) 😊

back with Vash and Hoppered's fight...the translations for the first page where it's the both of them speaking (the one starting with Vash yelling for ppl to run) are similar enough - but Dark Horse's translation of the middle panel...idk. intrigues me.

whereas the Overhaul has "The one they should be running from is you," Dark Horse went with "These insects should run from you," which. might imply. interesting things, imo, if you'll excuse the following brief descent into literary analysis. one could argue that it's indicative of how drastically Hoppered's life/identity/ideals shifted post-July, focused totally on eventual revenge to the exclusion of/with utter disdain toward that of humans who aren't traumatized the way he is. that said...we know as a fact that being a GHG was only ever a means to an end for him, and also, he couldn't give less of a shit about Knives' ultimate goals. so it's strange how Dark Horse has Hoppered referring to humans as "insects" when Knives does the same (except Dark Horse doesn't keep that wording, I suspect for reasons relating to its irl usage in racism, genocide, etc, as others have pointed out in the tags of one of my previous book club posts).

ANYWAY.

on the page where we see Hoppered watching July's destruction from afar...Dark Horse translates what Hoppered says to "You snatched it away. You tore it...in half!" meanwhile, the Overhaul has "You took it all away! You tore it to pieces!" and that's hitting me WAY harder than Dark Horse's ever has 🥺

when Zazie is explaining Vash's and Knives' gates - two things. ① in Dark Horse, Zazie says in the second panel "The flow from those two is tremendous" (vague, always made me scratch my head) whereas the Overhaul has "The flow of energy from those two is tremendous." y'all whose first and/or only time(s) reading the manga via the Overhaul are so spoiled lemme tell u (I say this affectionately - I'm just happy I'm finally getting The Good Shit, too, this read-through :,D ). ② last panel - Dark Horse has Zazie saying "Don't you understand? Those two are self-reliant" whereas the Overhaul has "You understand? Those two are self-reliant. Independent." EXCUSE ME WHILE I LOSE MY SHITDJGGDJXJ

"will" (vague) VS "will to survive" (explicit)

it's interesting that Dark Horse went with "benefactors" considering ① the death and destruction the twins are responsible for and, more importantly, ② the title of the chapter, which both translations have as "The Bystanders"

(also...Dark Horse, you big silly, you literally started the chapter saying the twins "fell to the planet" and now you're implying they were born here...? 🤣 )

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

we know that "your companion" refers to Vash...so Dark Horse always confused me by then saying "your friend" whereas it's clear in the Overhaul that Zazie is still talking about Vash.

and it's weird how we have, in Dark Horse, Zazie mentioning just a few pages ago that they can sense others' emotions, but now "yeah, idk how deep Knives' hate is." the Overhaul specifying that this is true despite Zazie's abilities...is...honestly horrifying, separating Knives even further apart from humanity than Zazie.

no comment on this translation discrepancy. I just think it's neat c:

same with these - I'd just have everything highlighted here 🤭

...and it's at this point that I realize I'm running out of spoons for commentary;;;;;;;;

interesting translation discrepancy with "that punisher" VS "once I have the Punisher" autocorrect I promise it's not called the Publisher djgdjgjgx

also. Milly's line. the Overhaul's translation is a way better fit, but I'm not telling why 😜

Dark Horse choosing to use "us" is interesting - grouping Zazie, Midvalley, and Hoppered together, as if all 3 of them are in on this. only in the Overhaul do we see that Zazie separates themselves from them - from Midvalley, specifically - while also doing a better job at conveying how insanely OP Knives is.

aaaaaand we end with more weird Dark Horse vagueness and a mounting sense of dread (at least for me) from the Overhaul!

AAAAAAA IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER JXGGFHXDGJ 🤩🤩🤩

[halt-kun]

My Hero Academia Chapter 416 - Force your way through, IZUKU MIDORIYA !!

We're still trying to worm our way into Shigaraki in order to save him

I don't know how close we're to the conclusion of this fight

but it could be very soon

AFO was traumatized by All Might going after him, he would have been completely done with Izuku in this form

OH YEAH ERI

she wants to help him

but it's not a flashback is it ?

will she be there in time

What kind of transport could she take ? Iida is done for

OH MY GOD I'm tearing up seeing Aizawa and Eri, he's such a nice dad

AND SHE COULDN'T HEAL HIM

Eri doesn't have enough energy then

what's the purpose of this then ? (beside making me cry)

ME TOO HORIKOSHI

HORIKOSHIIIIIIIIIII STOP IT

KODA NOW

I wasn't sure if we would have Koda stepping in too

wanting to help is nice

there is even the guy that was being an ass

everyone's crying

Where is Uraraka, someone needs to support Deku now, he's all alone (with his ghosts) doing is best

THEY FINISHED ESCAPING THE CRASHED BATTLE ARENA

NICE

and alive too

Izuku is dark again, call Tokoyami

Awww Baby with big sis Yaomomo for emotional support

hug these kids, they're the best, I've been missing them

I want a fucking slice of life arc lasting 40 chapters after this

TSUYU SOLE SURVIVOR

Uraraka will live, save her please, Hawks and Tokoyami too

who's still left standing for Midoriya

Hawks, it's not time to think about someone else, think about yourself a bit

All the kids from UA were instrumental in this fight

If one of them doesn't get their diploma, I'll riot

BEST GIRL (after Mirko) IS HERE NAGANT

The : "former hero, former villain" made me laugh

Yep we know how he's, ask Bakugou

I'm so glad we see Lady Nagant, can she come to the slice of life arc after that with her wife (Mirko) : new ship just dropped in my head

The kanji for "Deku" looks like the kanji for "you can do it" -Uraraka

GOOOOO MY BABY

I'm so proud of my child

Why did I immediately though child abuse ?!?

that's not the right flashback, that's when dad died

THE END

THE BEGINNING

THE CONCLUSION

THE ORIGIN

next time : TRAUMA

[arwenlalaith]

Between the Blues and the Pinks (Ch. 12)

Ship: Alex Blake/Emily Prentiss

Summary: The Baby Blues: The temporary feelings of sadness following having a baby. Also known as Postpartum Depression. The Baby Pinks: The mild mania experienced following having a baby. Also known as Postpartum Euphoria.

Warnings: Mental health issues, postpartum mood disorders.

Word Count: 1063

"Thank you for being flexible and meeting me here," Emily said with a polite smile as the other woman took a seat across from her in the coffee shop. Between taking care of Lindy and shuttling Alex between appointments, Emily had been struggling to carve out time in her schedule to interview potential nannies. She'd finally found a few spare minutes while Alex was seeing her OB/GYN and the only candidate who'd been able to make the last minute interview was, fortunately, the candidate Emily was most hopeful about.

The woman waved away her apologies with a good-natured smile. "Believe me, I understand how difficult the first few months can be," she said.

Emily couldn't help but laugh a little because difficult may have been the understatement of the century... Rather than get into that can of worms, though, she turned her attention to the woman's resume. "So, Jennifer, why did you leave your last job?"

"First of all, call me JJ," she said. "And in the interest of complete transparency, I left my last position because I had a miscarriage and I needed some time to work through the emotional fallout. It worked out okay because the boy I was caring for was going into first grade that fall, so the need for constant help wasn't as prevalent."

Emily felt her heart go out to the other woman. "I'm sorry," she murmured, reaching across the table to rest a hand on top of hers.

JJ's smile was soft and appreciative. "But I want you to rest assured that I've been through counselling and I'm fully capable and prepared to give your daughter the care and attention she needs," she insisted. "And I'm still on excellent terms with the family and they've assured me they'll give me a glowing recommendation. You're more than welcome to call them."

She nodded slowly, thoughtfully, but remained silent for several long moments.

JJ must've mistaken her silence for doubt because she was quick to try and keep the interview going. "Your ad said your situation was a little unconventional?" she prompted. She smiled reassuringly, trying to convey that she wasn't about to judge or condemn. In her years working as a nanny, she'd encountered just about every kind of family situation imaginable, so it was extremely hard to shock her.

"Yeah, umm..." Emily paused, tongue flicking out over her lip as she debated how best to explain things. She'd purposely left the job posting rather sparse on details, not wanting to air too much of their dirty laundry for all to see. But something about JJ made her feel like she could trust her... "My wife is struggling with some postpartum mood concerns," she explained, remaining vague even now. "I'm getting her the help she needs, but it requires a significant amount of time and effort and I didn't want either her or Lindy to suffer for my being spread too thin, which is why we're looking for a nanny." A beat. "Well, I haven't actually told my wife yet, but that's neither here nor there."

Several long moments of silence followed.

Immediately, Emily was giving her an out, "I'd completely understand if, knowing that, you'd like to withdraw your application."

Anything further she might've said on the subject was cut off by Lindy waking up and squalling. Emily moved to tend to her cries, but JJ was quick to interrupt the movement with a gentle, "Let me."

Emily watched, stunned, as JJ was able to soothe Lindy's cries with practiced ease – as if she'd been looking after her since birth. "Wow..." she said on an exhale. She was Lindy's mother and she couldn't even soothe her quite so easily. "You're a miracle worker."

JJ just laughed, shook her head. "Years of practice," she said modestly.

Emily laughed as well, though hers was borne more of relief than any actual amusement. "How soon can you start?"

________

Alex had initially been, shall we say, rather irate about Emily's decision to hire a nanny for Lindy. Irate, in this case, meaning she'd said flown into a rage and said horrible hurtful things to her wife. Emily had done her best not to take them to heart, knowing that Alex never would have said them if she were in her right mind...but it was hard because Alex knew exactly how to push her buttons.

Once Alex had had some time to warm to the idea, though, and after actually meeting JJ and seeing how wonderful she was with Lindy, she seemed to begrudgingly accept the situation. (That didn't mean she couldn't hold a grudge against Emily, though...of course, that may have just been because Emily continued watching her like a hawk in spite of the many many times she'd insisted she was fine.)

Their definitions of fine, however, seemed to be drastically different.

Alex's version of fine seemed to mean gradually slipping into a depressive episode. She spent more and more time in bed and less time doing the things she used to love. Emily could see the light fading from her eyes little by little, though she knew it was still inside her somewhere...

Alex also remained convinced that someone or something was out to get Lindy and continued to be hyper-vigilant over her. She refused to allow formula to remain in the house and, as such, spent as much time as humanly possible pumping breastmilk.

(When Emily had asked her why she didn't just breastfeed – seeing as she'd been extremely insistent before the birth that she wanted to breastfeed as much as possible – she'd been unable to articulate a reason. Unable or, perhaps, unwilling...)

It wasn't just the breastfeeding, though...it was also that Alex seemed reticent to so much as hold Lindy where she'd previously been reluctant to set her down for even a second. It seemed to Emily that JJ's presence had created a vacuum wherein Alex either felt unneeded or unwanted as Lindy's parent.

She'd tried bringing it up on more than one occasion, but was only ever met with unyielding refusal to talk about it.

[pancake-breakfast]

Well, it's a good thing I tried to get ahead earlier in the week because it took this long for me to get to the last part.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 4, Chapters 6-7 below.

Chapter 6: The Bystanders

Falling ships and giant worms. Looks like we're off to a great start here.

Ok, I really hope we get a worms-eye view of The Fall in Stampede. I'm not gonna hold my breath given that they've kinda already covered it and they just don't have a ton of episodes to work with, but I love love love the idea that we get this backstory from the perspective of the planet's native, sentient, and very inhuman inhabitants.

You know what, Zazie? I dunno what this face is supposed to be, either.

Ah, the Japanese inclination to apologize for everything.

Oh, gods. Nightow's gonna intersperse this backstory with the boys fighting, isn't he? *SIGH* I wouldn't normally complain, but Nightow's fights are, far more often than not, hard enough to follow to begin with.

For as twisted as his body is, Hoppered's hands look very normal. I don't know what I was expecting.

Ohhh, Hoppered's beef is about July. Shoot, I saw someone make a comment about one of the cops in Stampede during July, and now that makes sense. Like, at the very least, that cop's line was a callback to this scene.

Ah, the innate trouble with translating the two-syllable Japanese "待って" (ma'tay) to the monosyllabic English word "wait." Personally, I would have gone with "W-- Wait!" but I'm not the one doing translations here.

Vash is denying it because he can't imagine wanting to destroy a city, but Hoppered is right; he just doesn't know.

Is... is Hoppered crying?

Eyyyy, old-school Hoppered! Looks like he was a bit of an odd one even before he joined up with the Gung-Ho Guns.

Ah, there's that term "independent." But the way Zazie's presenting it is making me think about it in whole new ways. Stampede brought it up in a way that made me think of them as having a freedom other Plants don't, but this interpretation has me thinking of the innate alone-ness of both Vash and Knives, what that means to them, how they deal with it and how they make it a part of their being. Knives revels in it and lets it feed his sense of superiority (much to Legato's dismay, I'm sure). Meanwhile, Vash... I wouldn't say he resents it, but he finds it very lonely, and it doesn't make him feel superior so much as it makes him feel very Other.

And here's the first place we have it straight-up said that they're Plants.

Ah, so the Bystanders referred to in this chapter title are Vash and Knives. I thought it might end up being the worms. But hey, no reason the title can't work both ways.

And then ANGEL ARM?!?! Ohhhh, Zazie's story's being interwoven with Hoppered's. This is July. How was I supposed to know that without metagame knowledge??

Ok, this panel is great, 'cause it was only a few pages back that Zazie noted they have the innate ability to sense others' emotions. It just adds a level of intimidation on the whole thing.

Hahahaha, Midvalley. I guess I shouldn't laugh at his suffering, but he tried to kill Wolfwood, so eh.

There's something innately ridiculous with him being like, "Time to pull out the BIG GUNS!!!" and then immediately being like, "Aw, man! My instrument's busted or something...."

"He's almost too pathetic to kill at this point." Rude.

Black-suited moron? Wolfwood?

Yeah, it's Wolfwood.

Milly to the rescue! Again!

LOL, he's doing better than he looks.

But not as good as he thinks he's doing.

The Adventures of Big Girl and Short Woman by Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Uhhhh, who's the person with the light?

Hahahaha, Zazie looks sooooo unimpressed with Midvalley right now.

Zazie has a point, but I think he's preaching to the choir here.

Where tf did Midvalley get alcohol from all of a sudden? Also, is the alcohol called "Drifter"? If so, that's kinda cool. Something something meaningful names for alcohol in this series.

Oop, Zazie's worm sense is tingling!

Chapter 7: Hopeless Sinner

CW: Suicidal ideation

Oh, Vash. This look has me really worried for you.

"Sinner" is generally the word Knives uses for humans in this series. I wonder, though, if it might be being used to apply to Vash here.

Ohhh, babygirl looks soooo troubled. And then looking up and seeing the hole in the moon.... That's not gonna improve his mood.

Ah. He remembers. And... you know... in this shot, he looks amazingly like Knives.

Heh. Hoppered just... sort of peering over him. Like he's checking on his wellbeing. It's the opposite, but the casualness of it is deceptively calm.

I'm... honestly not quite sure what Hoppered did to silence Vash here. Slap him, I guess?

Ooooof. Vash just straight up embraces the killing urge inside him. He looks it straight in the face and says, "Yeah. This is a part of me." But in the same breath he rejects it, says it's not something he wants because he doesn't want to go down that path. He doesn't want it so bad he'd take his own life to keep it from taking over.

Gods, he's sooooo sad. Even Hoppered feels bad for him.

Hoppered still wants him dead, and still wants to die, as well. TBH, this feels more like he empathizes with Vash to some degree. Something something double suicide.

Uhhhhh, sudden light??

Yeah, I dunno what happened here, either. Vash got knocked somewhere?

*sigh* Wheeeerrrrre does Wolfwood think he's going???

Did... he just gut-punch Milly????

Yes. Yes, he did.

He deserves booing. But I love how he just... caves. I bet he didn't really want to leave and was only gonna do so to get Milly out of there. But Milly didn't want to go peacefully and so here we are.

I really feel like Midvalley should get a strap for his sax. It seems like that would be useful. And this series can't have too many straps, belts, etc.

If five seconds is all it takes, why isn't Vash dead yet? Hmmmmm???

Uhhhhh, what's with this crazy airship??

Ohhhhh, shit. I have enough spoilers to know who that is.

This chair, though. It looks like a musical instrument.

Author Bonus Chapter

I have no idea what Nightow is rambling about here with this Barbarian Bonehead All-Stars nonsense.

Ohhh, so this isn't Kuroneko. This is Nya-Kun. My bad, I got them confused.

"My emotions are overflowing into rambling!!!" Hahahahahaha, I know we all do this from time to time, but it just feels very Nightow.

Ohhhh, something got lost in translation here. I've watched enough Attack on Titan to know that apparently Nightow replaced a word here with the pronunciation for "heart," but there's no corelary on the page.

I had heard about Nightow's love of action figures.

"They gather at the ocean with pleasant feeling." This sounds like something that was translated too literally from Japan. The phrase doesn't quite work in English.

"The meaning of their name in Japanese is 'omocha buzoku.'" This tells me nothing about the meaning of their name in Japanese. I am very confused.

Ah, he addressed the difference in the planet name from the manga to the anime. Sort of.

Haaaahahahahaha, ok, Story Time. A couple weeks ago I was at Anime Expo with @sweetpotoooooooos, and she went to a panel by Studio Bones (one of the old-timers as studios go) on one of the days when I couldn't attend. She said that during the panel, Bones mentioned that when they first got word of just how popular Fullmetal Alchemist (the original) was in the U.S., they thought they were being lied to. The numbers seemed too high. (As someone who was into anime at that time, I can verify that four of their five titles preceding FMA were talked about in the community, but only Wolf's Rain actually aired on Adult Swim where it could reach a broad audience... and... well, let's just say Wolf's Rain is not as good as FMA. (It does have an excellent Yoko Kanno soundtrack, though.)) FMA was first broadcast on Adult Swim in 2004. Trigun was first broadcast on Adult Swim in '03. The idea that anything anime would be popular enough to warrant action figures in the West would have absolutely been mind-blowing to any mangaka, and much more so one as in love with figures as Nightow.

Mata nee, minna-san!

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10 || Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Volume 1: Covers + 1-2, 2 DT, 3-4, 3 DT, 5-6 || Volume 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Volume 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Volume 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5