#yeah we���re old
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it is absolutely so weird to me to try to imagine a version of geralt that is like, my age. like, no. get back to being an old man
#what the heck. my parents were never my age they were just spawned into the world in their 30s#i'm just kidding btw. geralt's not old. vesemir is old. but geralt is my old man#fun fact. for just about forever i thought that 'my old man' meant your father#like 'my old lady' can mean your mother#but 'my old man' actually means your husband or your lover#so when joni mitchell sang big yellow taxi. i totally misinterpreted that for my entire life#i cried to that song because of that#and funnily enough i learned the correct meaning also from her in her blue album#so yeah. i'm going to continually stubbornly use it the way i thought it#but only in contexts where it is obvious i'm talking about it in a father context#quite obviously#anyways. prequel.#young geralt is going to have less but way more worse and recent trauma#after we get this we will have to get regis: the young years where it is like 'dear diary tonight i drank so hard i threw up!'#'can't wait to do it all again tomorrow night and attempt to kill myself five times in a row!'#as i wrote that i also did think of regis re-enacting my favorite drew gooden vine#'dear diary... today i couldn't find my diary so i'm writing this on my two kung fu panda 2 dvds :)'#oh my god. wait. that is literally a philosophy regis shares#'e can easily replace what we don’t have with what we do!'#'it's simply a matter of invention and positive thinking :-)'#the elbow-high diaries#try not to make everything about emiel regis challenge (hard) (failed)
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on one hand never trust how you feel about yourself as a person after the sun goes down, especially if you have a known pattern of catastrophizing your own behavior into you somehow being a secretly evil Bad Person. on the other hand night time is when i do my best introspection
#this post was brought to you by the realization that even though i want to be and like being a person that ppl can turn to when they need it#that i also don’t really like being Depended On#i care about my friends especially the ones who are still in high school#but it’s also scary to me when i feel like they Rely on me for friendship or connection.#like no. i should be peripheral to your life.#they should have people other than a mildly flaky 18 year old who hides when it gets hard and who they only see every few months at best#even back in junior high. i had a friend who was older than me but a grade below who called me ‘mom’ as a joke#but then it stopped feeling like a joke and i didn’t know how to re-establish that distance#oh yeah this is also a thing that happens at night btw. we start oversharinggg
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I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, I'm becoming unhinged about Transformers again,,,
#i just. man#first of all i was super into it when i was younger. optimus prime has long been a projectable (and ratchet too‚ from tfp)#but even that's like more recent. when i was SEVEN i was running around in circles to the transformers 1980 theme and re-binging the movie#(autism? what? who? where? but fr it was like a daily thing p much where me and my brothers would just lose it to that song. good ol' days)#transformers#for the search function lol. anyways back to the ramble: the obsession started young and continued throughout my teenage years#the transformers prime version was ABSOLUTELY peak and clears every time. still SO good my brothers and i binged the heck out of that too#but i don't think we ever got to watch the movie??? or maybe it was season 3??? either way i remember being like WHAT OPTIMUS IS EVIL???#and never getting resolution which i still need to do (also reminding me of clone wars...never did finish that one and still not spoiled)#anyway yeah the nintendo 3DS transformers prime game was yet another staple of my childhood. fave main was optimus obvs#but it just fills me with joy to see the resurgence in this and also makes me feel some complex emotions because it's a part of little me#and that version of me feels like so long ago...my own orion pax in a way#11-year-old me checking out giant lore books and speeding through them (i need to find this one book!! it's been years!!#it was the first transformers tome i ever read and told the story of orion pax!! and i vaguely remember the cover? but not the title! help!)#ANYway yes just feeling a lot of feelings and. i love transformers#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags#also if you're reading this: i voted and you should too!!!
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I think in between having medium level body dysmorphic background noise since elementary school and the annoying mouse critic voice in my head doing comparison studies 80% of the time, it's really a step forward that I'm now able to look myself in the mirror and say: okay. Let's start with this: I'm glad I have this body. I'm going to treat it well. I may not like the way it looks at times, but it's mine.
#i realised how deeply this has been needling away at me very recently#because in situations where this has happened i genuinely have no idea what to do with compliments re: my appearance#because some part of me doesn't believe that it's True. on account of mouse critic voice being annoying.#my spiritual director/life coach called me pretty once in passing and i was like ???? alright moving on#and a girl i met recently said the same thing looked at me more closely and said: the more i look at you the prettier i think you are#and i was like ??????? don't know how to deal with that. my brain says you're lying but my eyes see that you're being sincere#anyway it is a step forward that i can be like. okay yeah you know what things are going to be fine. eventually i will like the way i look#but for now i'm going to ACT like i like the way i look.#or at least start with treating my body well instead of regressing into old destructive habits#we are going to eat properly! sleep properly! go out on walks (and not run like a maniac until we're tired all the time!) and enjoy the sun#like! you know what! a win is a win
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being a costume design student means that today, almost exactly 4 years after top surgery, i am going to be making myself a binder
#strange! to be fair its just bc i have my old binder which is real at home and i think i'll re-use it#but we have presentations tomorrow so i need to present some kind of mockup#anyway yeah in 2 days itll have been 4 years. crazy
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hoooly shit why did nobody remind me how fun is it to make ugly art
#me when im whipping out the pastels and old papers with english exercises and scissors and glue. we re makin a HOUSE 💥💥💥#i feel like im 6 years old again except this time i don't need parental control for using them big scissors#obviously when you're trying to do pretty art and it doesn't work that's heartbreaking#but when you don't care about that something happens and you can just say. yeah i like it#like what the worst that could happen#hey you reading this this is your message to do some arts amd crafts in the mud pit and feel alive again#ramblings
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I think some people need to less "separate the art from the artist" and more "separate the you from the art" ... If you know what I mean :)
#listen as long as you don't support jkr financially i don't *really* have a problem with you enjoying the books privately?#i've been meaning to re-read them myself just to see if they hold up (i doubt it but hey)#(and dw this is an old pirated version i have)#i never actually bought any of the books or merch#though i did see a few of the movies in theatres#but with as much empathy and compassion as i can extend to marauder fans#i still find myself uncomfortable around the notion of that '''woke''' version of the hp fandom#like at some point when the author is this terrible and you still have it in you to get attached to the source material?#idk#it just doesn't sit right with me i'm sorry#you're still incapable of saying to yourself 'no this is enough'#'we loved this but i cannot in good conscience enjoy this anymore'#i dunno#it just ... idk#maybe more self-discipline? maybe find something new? at that point it's either unhealthy or you don't actually care about the stuff#you claim to care about#like yeah i'll jump over all those actively dangerous and harmful things just to cling to my childhood obsession#i'll paint over the 'problematic' stuff but still play with the same dolls in the same world#idk ... it's complicated but i think i have the right to feel uncomforable around 'woke' hp fans either way
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since one of my favorite pods publicly froze and is seemingly imploding behind the scenes since october, and regular winter breaks from some of my other regulars, i’ve had to pick up a few new pods which is very strong and brave of me but one is the creep dive with three irish ladies so like literally so comforting im going through so many
#p#rip to my emotional support listening cycles#the referenced pod is so wild to me bc it’s like just drowning with their mouths taped shut and ur allowing a majority of white 20-50yr old#women true crime fans like there’s only going to be wild speculation.#after 3 months the re//it speculations are so rampant#one of them showed themselves to be a massive Zionist and the others not so much and they’re indie but a proper business still#but it’s insane to me with even with their moderate legal teams they still haven’t been able to make any public acknowledgment !!#no public acknowledgment about the genocide nor any acknowledgment that business isn’t been as usual#like not even saying yeah we know we’ve only fed y’all three months of our banked emergency content and are running out of stuff to recycle
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okaaaaay so the ethels are gonna have a BIT more of a bigger part to play in book one, but still, book two is going to be a plotline focused on the ethels so most of the cool / horrifying ethel stuff is going there
but we'll definitely get a bit more ethel nonsense in book one now which is exciting. ehheheheheheehe
#i think book one ethels are introduced n its like.... oh haha check out these weird old fucks. spooky and quirky flavour for#vampire worldbuilding that sometimes comes into conflict with our main characters! but not in a Big way :)#then book two is just like. oh yeah no these guys are FUCKED UP fucked up. and things are ten times worse than we thought#re: alex's tampered with memories#and the house that doesnt exist but does exist#and the reason nat was turned#AND THE HUMANS#UM YES THE WHOLE THING WITH THE HUMANS#anyway its fine we get to see yvonne go ham with a flamethrower and kill a bunch of them#and we get to see nat make one of their heads explode. and we get to see zeke melt a few#quinn n alex r not doing any ethel murder here. just busy having homoerotic tension with each other i think
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truly further [2 sides same coin] of billions tragic failing of either quant's writing that the effective Demand that taylor & rian must have a very special dynamic is all about going "well i'm epic & you're epic" at every stage, which is nothing, while winston and taylor can never have a dynamic b/c he's so Not Epic, despite that he's more similar to taylor in any ways that actually matter or could mean anything, while also if rian was ever peers with winston / had a reciprocal dynamic there, maybe we'd Have to have had more of an actual character from that role, but instead once again [no] b/c he's so Not Epic. billions writing getting an award for [okay. tmc trifecta] as the only option heading into s6 & giving us Nothing instead
#fr the one arc left is winston being sick of it like alright i'm outta here#wherein it's time apparently for rian to draw on the apparent nonzero affection she thinks she has for all that that means anything....#and oops it did nothing; she may as well have Again jumped in & volunteered info herself in the first place#and tbt rian could be indignant on lauren's behalf based on like 3 days of distant technical half coworkership#but Nothing re: taylor's participation in treating winston like that. nothing re: rian either. but you see....lauren was also epic#winston billions#when you're both Epic you're on the defensive about why you Don't date. except for when you're not!#like again so wendy thinks she & taylor were peers? why did They not have to explain why They didn't date? wendy being that cishet abt it?#we can't get an explanation for why rian would fuck That old man; just why it wasn't otherwise taylor specifically#this being the ''well it's how i'm So thoughtful abt things. & it's how i'm So Unthoughtful abt things'' In The Same Breath#like yeah yeah you dropped all pretense of [character: rian] for [young woman: inherently sexually available] like amazing#it was always like jesus christ but just increasingly dismal experience surveying the mess of nothingness & insults that was like.#again the Nothingness that was rian & pick your poison re: analyzing Power whether it's the ungodly thread of banging prince#or her casually being this general bully + personal abuser to her ''friend'' / coworker there & this is Completely Neutral to billions#perhaps Good! & there's just nothing else to the character. having her Not Leave also just further whittling away any sense of anything#again it's just like depressing lmao gotta get out of here#and as per usual the way that ripping off winston's character from getting to have focus; material; arcs; relationships etc just#impacts these other characters negatively too. rian's main traits having to be ''loves being a bully'' & ''presumed to have a vagina'' wow#billions doesn't even know abt the former which just makes it all the more amazing. taylor having ''nobody'' to talk to but rian for half#a season like WINSTON!! he was half their employees at that time & billions is still That resolute abt The Epics Vs The Losers#and being a Thee Epic is like [there's nothing there] like that was Really supposed to be rian's whole character & [there's nothing there]#the substance not in taylor going ''who's Epic like me'' but in who's Actually inherently intractibly offbeat & different & Knows This#embraces it works with it Has to embrace and work with it; suffers for it but thrives for it; is this secret weapon for it; can work w/You.#all the ways taylor had to water down talking abt themself to like wendy or axe or whomever tf....winston is right here#he's Understanding them & talking abt Them unprompted unguided just Getting It & Caring; doing 9000% better than these other Epic ppl....#lord. it's just amazing they were really this committed to like well yeah the real binary that really matters. the cools & the nerds#they really were like oh we love winston sm....we Love to write 3x03 endlessly where he gets shitted on & we have so much fun seeing that#we could've at least had the Consequences of [winston deserved to throw hands] like fr. rian; taylor; wags; dollar bill; wags again
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ive started ripping cds again and i love it. at first it was bc of my recent audiophile hyperfixation and wanting to experiment with different quality levels but theres something about the process of picking and choosing and not having everything available instantly that makes me listen to music much more consciously idk. its like the difference between chugging a cup of drip coffee in the break room vs. like taking 15 minutes out of your day to make a cappuccino for breakfast. (btw the "process" is so much easier today, i rarely (if ever) have to name/rename tracks like. it even finds the right cover art and lyrics? all by itself? insane.) also, something ive been noticing for a while is that despite having access to a huge streaming library i tend to listen to the same 3 playlists and 5 albums over and over and over and over and.... idk i rarely try out new stuff anymore (see the 271 poasts i made about my constant back and forth between apple music and spotify). actually, ive recently been going entire DAYS without listening to music?? which is a) a terrifying development and b) likely another early warning sign of post-30 conservative brainrot, next to the avoidance strategies my subconscious now employs when it comes to trying out new stuff. and anyway, i think curating my music library a little more deliberately instead of relying on an algorithm that only ever sees me listening to 2015 pop songs is a fantastic idea regardless of my motivation. but yeah. carefully picking out a cd and bringing it home and putting it on my puter and finally listening to it without distractions is an experience that a discover weekly playlist simply cannot recreate
#this is so incoherent nrkfkdkf i swear it makes sense in my head ok trust me here take my hand yeah see there we go ok 👌#&#i do still have my old 5th gen ipod#which btw#seems to have a decent dac#compared to post 2006 models#and it handles alac files without any problems#the thing is#the hard drive is so slow oh my god#thats the one thing about retro tech i really cant stand#flash memory has spoiled us rotten#anyway idk if i want to put more money in this old thing and flash mod it? i think the adapters are 50 bucks plus a card..#prices for ipods and ipod parts have exploded recently#dankpods impact#but it would probably still be cheaper than#investing in a new hi res player#plus the retro charme#RETRO oh my god the thing is from 2005#...#which was. 18 yeARS AGO????? NONONO NO THAT CANT BE RIGHT#jesus christ#talk about getting old#OK ANYWAY END OF POAST
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I'm going to stan the new bg Sm debuts because of sungtaro, my 2 fav boys <33
im sure a lot of their early fans will b nctzens bc of sungtaro!!
#and i love to see it!! i obvs dont want sungtaro to be thrown out by nctzens just bc they're not in nct anymore#we had them for almost 3 yrs we know them as idols so like.....#anyway yeah im gonna tune in for their re-debut <33#answered#anonymous#talk#text#mine#i wonder if any of the sr22b rookies will be in the new bg?#like shohei might still go to nct tokyo (or whatever theyre callin it)#but eunhyuk and seunghan might go to this new bg.......hm#eunseok** FUCK IM SORRY I KNOW UR NOT A 45 YEAR OLD SUJU MEMBER IM SO SORRY BABY
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suffering (submitting a reasonable maintenance request for a problem that is absolutely my landlord's responsibility to fix)
#mine is decent but i still hate writing up maintenance requests after an old prop manager who like did not listen to them at ALL#like i'd submit an issue and she'd be like okay someone is coming to fix that!! and then a technician would never fuckin show up#literally we had tiles that were broken in the bathroom when my friends moved in#and by the time all of us moved out ~3 years later they STILL weren't fixed#also took them like two months to fix the oven (before i moved in) when it broke one time for no reason i ever heard??#and it wasn't a matter of them ordering a new oven and getting hit by delays bc it was the same oven the whole time#just a bad prop mgmt company#and my current prop manager is SO much better but i have lingering trust issues re: actually getting maintenance requests#addressed in any kind of reasonable timeframe#also yeah sorry this post format has taken over my brain recently appreciate your patience with my (parenthetical sidenotes)#illogical rambles
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Sometimes I live my life and then I remember the time my friend broke my temmie Keyring and I’m like
#It was the one from fangamer#The one that you pull its tail and it vibrates#They pulled the mechanism really fast and hard repeatedly despite me saying not to and now it doesn’t work anymore#I had to pay import on that >:’(#Then say just kind of pathetically handed it back to me like “sorry I broke it” and I lied and said “oh don’t worry it was on getting old”#No the fuck it wasn’t it was practically new#Then my other friend broke my pea pod fidget toy so now my friends don’t get to use my things#They’re just for me now since as soon as they hold them they’re broken lmfao 💀#They also fuck around with my phone and wallet without permission which is really annoying because what do you mean#“My coins needed re-arranging” no they didnt#“I wanted to guess your password and now I can get into your phone!!!!!! 🤪🤪🤪” weird…#Then actively taking my phone out of my hands just to type in my password and laugh#I don’t hide things from them so I don’t care but she literally had arguments with someone we used to know about doing the same thing to he#They also joke about burning down forests and honestly I don’t know how we’re friends#They’re so violent#I bought my best friend a plush for their birthday and this other friend spent the ENTIRE night throwing it about everywhere#Which yeah okay fair enough but a) it’s not yours and b) the person it belongs to has TOLD YOU TO STOP???#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#You’re not silly or quirky you’re just annoying#Teaboo thoughts
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vimeo
{YU-GI-OH!} Duel Monsters ~ A.M.V ~ Yuugi & {Ace-implied!}Yami (Atem) [Reading in Aro-Ace!Yami is also Fine] {Just please respect my own head-canons too!} ~ "Bring Me To L i f e"
Summary: "I've been S L E E P I N G a T H O U S A N D Years it S E E M S-- -GOT TO O P E N M Y E Y E S to E V E R Y T H I N G..." Music © Evanescence/Amy Lee; also (C) Linkin Park (Backing Vocal Only) {This was made before the re-release of this song without them.} Spoiler Info: - Leads up to mid-beginning of End of “DOMA” Arc {Anime-Only sequences; not included in original manga} - {Mainly} D.M. {Duel Monsters} Only Eps
*Any Lip-sync'ng was unintentional {+Any similar Might be removed in any future remake}
YU-GI-OH! © Kazuki Takahashi Yu-gi-oh! Duel Monsters {Anime} © Studio Gallop This is a FAN-WORK. No $$$ is being made off this work.
{A.M.V. by (Young) Me} {DO NOT RE-POST} {DO NOT COPY} {DO NOT RE-PRODUCE My Works Under any Circumstances WITHOUT MY PERMISSION}
(Note: This is an OLD work {10+ yrs old}. and one of my 1st/oldest YGO D.M. A.M.Vs of the timeframe. The footage used will reflect this, as it was made before widespread transition into H.D. Footages. Please be understanding.) [There may be intent for me to remake it someday!]
Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr and/or Vimeo is experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider watching the Direct link here!
{I am NOT taking new AMV Requests (+for this series) at this time. Please DO NOT Ask!}
#feathershipping#koushirouizumi ygo#koushirouizumi dm#koushirouizumi own#koushirouizumi old dm#ygo: dm#yūgi mutou#yami yūgi#yūgi and yami#ace yami#demi yuugi#feather trio#(aaaND ONE OF THE OTHER {O L D E S T} ONES...)#({OK BUT})#({HI I STILL REALLY L O V E SOME t IMINGS HERE TOO---})#(Basically Yami is VERY RE-PRESSED A c e)#(Y u u g i is DEF Picking Up On That)#(in the end bc they s HARE A BODY MOST OF t IME YKNOW--)#({Yeah this is actually intended semi c ANONTM Compliant Too---})#(Eventually the back-ground Wisshhip comes in and Yami grows to be Supportive of them while {Y u u g i} realizes+accepts that Yami is Ace)#(Yami meanwhile ALSO OCCUPIES Same Body for Most of 'c ANONTM' so whatever Y U U G I feels for Jou YAMI FEELS IT T O O--- {In My Stuff})#({At some point I usually have things split off into A.U & then yEA THINGS MIGHT d IVERGE FROM THERE} {i.e. 'A t e m Lives'} BUT WELL SEE})#(This arc was super interestin to me Back then tho BC they ARE SEPARATE here for MOST OF These Sequences)#({so for once YAMI was seein Y U U G I from an O U T S I D E V I E W})#({thus YAMI Recognizes Y U U GI Cares abt Yami but YAMI k NOWS IN YAMIs h EART what YAMI is feelin TOO---})#({AND Y U U G I REALIZES TOO Its Basically Whole Point of This One})#the a u t h o r may have passed but in t HIS h OUSE we let them be q UEER#(I STILL NEED TO GET IT ONTO A.0.3 TOO AAAAAAA)#(ITS ONE OF THE ACTUAL o LDEST ONES aaaAAAAA {Yea im Back-dating this one}--- {will probs be on the 1st p AGES OF WHOLE SECTION---})#({b ASICALLY the J x Y ver. was 1st I think then bc I couldnt fit in all of Yami I tried one for just Their dynamic})
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The Honda Odyssey
Logan Howlett x Reader | smut | 6k words Summary: The car fight reimagined and it only needed to be like 10% more erotic than the original.
I got carried away. I just love Wolvie so much. I'm so happy Logan is getting the adoration he deserves. Long live the Wolverine renaissance.
Warning: smut, p in v, ass play, foul language.
If you had to pinpoint a moment when your life became the shit show it had steadily developed into, you’d say it was the moment you auditioned for X-Force.
In your tenure as besties with Wade Wilson, it's fair to say things hadn’t gone smoothly. The man was a conduit to all things fucked up, but you adored his loose morals and quick mouth. The idiot in red had weaselled his way into your heart and became something of a brother to you and more recently a roommate.
Now, if you’d have told your younger self you’d be in your late twenty’s sharing an apartment with a burn victim who regularly staples a toupee to his fucking head and a coke-head, blind, old African American woman, you’d have laughed in their fucking face.
So, you’d like to think that as these things go you are pretty damn well adjusted but traversing the multiverse was a bit of a stretch, even for you.
One moment you’re at Wade’s surprise party, the next your ass has been zapped to the TVA and you’ve been given a sacred mission; to accompany Marvel Jesus (Wade) and protect the sacred timeline.
Naturally you’re fucking mind blown, you’re a low-level mutant, fuck, you couldn’t even join the X-Men. Your particular set of skills were a dime a dozen and your flagrant disregard of rules had made you a ‘poor candidate’.
No, the mutant powers you had been graced with weren’t extraordinary by any means. You were basically an off-brand Captain America, just without the gorgeous cheekbones, patriotism and righteous need to do good.
In layman terms, you are strong as shit and have an accelerated healing factor. Not quite the same level as Wade’s mind you. You have, give or take, an inconvenient five-minute turnaround on the more fatally debilitating wounds.
To say you were unqualified was an understatement and to say you were reluctant was a simple fact. A fact you repeated, loudly to anyone that would listen as you were bathed in rich black leather.
“I think maybe you meant to grab negasonic teenage whatchacallit… she’s great, super powerful!” You continue. “Did you mean to get Domino or Colossus or maybe one of the X-Men? “
“No Miss Y/L/N. We have not got the wrong person for the job.” The man you later find out is called Paradox, calls out as you re-enter the operation headquarters. “Mr Wilson requested your presence; he wanted your assistance on his mission.”
“Y/N/N… ten out of ten, baby girl, I one hundred percent would bang. I’m talking raw dog, Barry White on a rug, let’s go all fuckin’ night.” Wade hollers in his own brand-new suit and even you must admit, you look fucking amazing. “Sweet angel, we’ve just gotta’ come up with a superhero name for you!”
You are enrobed in rich thick black and teal leather, your first ever hero suit and it’s a fucking good one. It doesn’t cling, but instead pulls you in securing your flesh and extenuating curves, ones you hadn’t entirely realised you had. The bottom half your face is concealed with a mask, carefully crafted to follow the contours of your nose and cheekbones.
You’d barely recognised the mysterious figure in the mirror.
“Right?! Tailor was pretty handsy though!”
“Oh yeah, ha! - that man is indeed a predator.” Wade says with a chuckle and a fond sigh.
It shames to you to say but that’s when you stopped fighting this whole thing. You looked the part of a hero; you thought that maybe the TVA knew what they were doing. That they had seen something in you and knew that you had a good heart under all the darkness that lingered on the surface.
Wrong.
You were just a demand Wade had made. He wanted his number one disciple at his side whilst he carried out his sacred mission. You were part of an attempt at appeasing him whilst they destroyed your timeline.
Little more than a pawn to be used whilst they manipulated him into a false sense of security.
Thus, you were thrown into a series of events far beyond your control when Wade being Wade decided you were hunting down a Wolverine to stabilise the timeline, only to be once again fucking zapped into some place they called the void by that little English shitbird named Paradox. It’s entirely accurate to say that you were a little less sturdy than your compadres.
Unfortunately for you, the fall from such a height into the void was fatal. When you finally awake in the desolate wasteland to the sounds of blades clashing it is disorientating to say the least.
Forcing yourself to your feet you lower your mask and gasp in the sweet strangely stale oxygen as you stretch out your newly healed spine with a groan. It was impossible to tell how long you were out as you take in the scene before you; Wade and the Wolverine are engaged in a heated battle. From the looks of it, Logan is winning this fight despite being the human equivalent of a knife block with Wade’s katanas protruding from his chest.
For a moment you pause, perhaps its head trauma that hasn’t healed (He’s fucking Deadpool, he can look after himself for two minutes) and appreciate his form, the Wolverine the two of you had kidnapped was gorgeous. Tch, as if there was any other kind.
Sure, you were biased you’d always been somewhat of a fangirl, but the Wolverine was objectively breath-taking.
You’d indulged in comics whilst growing up but when you found out he was real and looked the way he did, hell, Wolverine was your sexual awakening. He was the first man to make you feel that tingle in your lower stomach. Yes, you may have been thirteen years old, a ball of puppy fat and social anxiety but you’d been waiting for him ever since.
You’re snapped out of your reverie when Wade loses baby knife in Logan’s shoulder blade, finally you spring into action. In good time as well as you’re not sure if even Deadpool can survive decapitation.
In the singularly most stupid act of your life you throw yourself in front of your friend’s body. “Wait, Wait! Please!”
Wade has paused behind you, you can feel him weighing up the situation, pausing for a moment to see what you’re going to pull out of the bag.
“The TVA they can fix it, whatever you did, whatever made you the worst Logan, they can fix it! – They have the power to end universes, but they also have the power to fix yours! Help us get back there and we can fix both of our worlds! I promise, they can fix it.” You plead, it’s not quite a lie exactly, more of an Educated Wish than anything.
Okay it is a lie, but you’re sure that the TVA can most likely, probably, maybe fix his world.
Logan’s eyes lock with yours in that moment you can see that he wants to kill you both and be done with it, but that hope won’t let him. You feel a smidgen of guilt for the deceit, but frankly you’ve done worse for less. Your world was on the line it wasn’t the time to pull your punches.
Fast forward four exhausting hours, two periods of unconsciousness and one flaying to find yourself sat opposite Wade gagging down cold spoonful’s of Spam in some dusty ass diner.
You were no better than a man as you watched the Wolverine.
Those arms, those thighs, the way he had beheaded Sabretooth without even breaking a fucking sweat. You wanted him to wrap those instruments of death he called hands around your throat and fuck you dirty until the sun came up.
It had been a long exhausting day and you had been soaking wet for most of it.
Shit, could he smell that? Does that count as sexual harassment? You’d have to ask Wade.
Logan, however, was utterly dismissive of your advances in the face of what was undoubtedly utterly horrific past trauma. Something you were trying to be understanding about, but self-pity in a man, it just turned you on. I said you had some surface layers of darkness.
Unable to help yourself you gaze at him as he opens a bottle of rubbing alcohol. You are utterly entranced, watching the thick chords in his throat bob as he takes a swig.
That tanned skin where his jaw ends and neck begins, slick with sweat and dirt. You’d love to sink your canines into the strip below his ear. He must feel your stare on him as he looks up and catches your eyes dark with lust already surveying his person.
It should embarrass you, that every time he peers your way, he catches you gaping at him like a lovesick puppy, but there’s something about Logan you can’t quite put your finger on. The man heats your blood like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, maybe it’s that torch you’ve carried for him since girlhood, maybe it’s the thick thighs you’d kill to ride – who can say for sure?
In what you assume is against his better judgement, he comes to perch on the booth beside you. His broad shoulders cast an imposing figure as he gets close enough that if you were to move your hand a couple of inches to the right, you’d finally be able to touch that yellow fabric that plagued your tween dreams.
You’re burning up at the thought of him, unable to stop yourself you part your legs slightly to ease some of the pressure. Logans nose twitches, his head swivels your way and his eyes catch your own.
Welp - at least you have your answer about him smelling your arousal.
Deciding that you were most likely verging on sexual harassment charges you decided to focus back in on the task at hand, gagging once again at another spoonful of spam.
“Be a good girl and swallow, Y/N/N, you know the rules!” Wade jokes, your chortle was your only response. What could you say? He always hit your funny bone despite the ocean that was raging in your panties.
Logan stares at Wade for a long moment before turning to your way and addressing you for maybe only the fourth time today?
“What are you doing with this fucking clown? You his sidekick? Following him round to laugh at his stupid fucking jokes whilst he gets kids killed?”
“Why I have never.” Wade is faux outraged at his words, clutching his imaginary pearls as the Wolverine throws around accusations that aren’t entirely untrue.
The Wolverine’s expression remains stern as his eyes track your face. They seem to be evaluating your character and from the flare in his nose and crease in his brow you can guess he finds you lacking. You’re embarrassed to admit how much that deflates you, so you do what you do best; you deflect.
“I could follow you around and laugh at your jokes instead, if you like?” When you speak your voice has a sultry edge to it and there’s no mistaking your intentions.
Logan seems to think on your proposition for a second or two, before he huffs grabs his rubbing alcohol and unopened can of Spam and heads over to sit at the bar.
“Holy hot ham and cheese on rye, Y/N, you fucking slut.” Wade berates you though his voice is as light as it’s always been as he boots your shin under the table. “Trying to your holes filled by Wolvie during a world saving mission, Marvel H Christ, stay on fucking task!”
You swear you hear Logan mutter a Jesus Christ from the bar.
Though as Wade continues irritating the hero hunched against bar, you can’t help the realisation that he didn’t say no.
“You’re uh… well regarded in our world.” Wade complements, being real doesn’t come easy to him. You appreciate the effort.
“Well, I’m not shit in mine.”
“I tried to join the X-Men because of you.” You speak up finally joining their conversation. Wolverine’s back goes rigid, but he doesn’t respond. You’re not sure if he’s waiting for you to continue or hoping you’ll stop. “You made a difference to this world, made me think I could do the same. I just never quite make the cut.”
Logan doesn’t seem to have a response.
It seems your words have an effect as you catch him watching you more often. When Wade makes his jokes, he looks to you for validation of his withering looks.
You’re probably more distracted by this revelation than you should be when the three of you come across a real nasty variant of Colossus seeking out Wade for… you want to say… revenge?
The not-so-gentle-anymore-giant flips the Honda and tosses both Wade and Logan through the treeline as they advance on him as if they were little more than toys his mother had asked him to pick up.
One by one your bullets ricochet from his metal skin as he comes towards you. You aren’t built for this fight; you are completely and utterly outmatched.
All you’re doing at this point is buying yourself some time for your backup to pull themselves from the rubble, however during a particularly spirited cartwheel the metal oaf finally gets his hands on you. Colossus’ metal palm is cold on your throat, and you could swear you hear your neck snapping before you feel it.
With a gasp you return to life to find a slightly dishevelled Logan standing above you. By the grace of god, his sleeves have been worn away in the fight, his arms, oh sweet lord, his arms are on full display.
“Thought you were a goner.” He offers you a hand when you simply stare mutely his way. Locking your fingers around his wrist he pulls you to your feet. You don’t release your hold on him and neither does he.
“Don’t throw the party just yet, eh?” You joke weakly, for a second you could swear there’s a slight raise of the corner of his mouth, imperceptible, if you didn’t know what you were looking for. In the past few hours you had become an expert on Wolverine’s face.
Your mouth is dry as you take in his thick sweat laden biceps.
“Where’s Wade?” You query whilst rolling your aching neck as you haven’t heard his voice in a record thirty seconds, Logan suddenly remembers himself and drops your hand.
“’fraid Metal man took your clown, was pissed with him and can’t say I blame the guy.”
“Shit.” You sigh rubbing your temples as you kneel to pick up the dismembered arm of your best friend. “Well – fuck. That’ll take him a few hours at least to grow back – He’ll be so sad about his suit.”
You peel the fabric from the limb and tuck it under the breast plate of your own suit. Wade will want his glove back when it grows back.
“He say where he was taking him?”
“Oh yeah, that along with his plan for world domination...” Logan huffs as if your mere presence annoys him.
“Thought you didn’t like sarcasm.”
“I like sarcasm just fine, Bub. It’s you I don’t like.” You can’t help but smile his way at the comment made at your expense, his brows crease. “You’re a strange one.”
“Can you do your sniffy thing?” Its impressive, you thought he’d reached the limit with his scathing looks towards Wade, yet he somehow manages to pull a deeper frown out the vault especially for you.
“Sniffy thing?” His words are spoken with such derision, it turns you on a little. You realise that perhaps you are in fact a deeply troubled individual.
“Oh, sorry.” You pretend to clear a frog in your throat. “Please, oh, please, beautiful, handsome Wolverine, please can you locate my bestest pal with your heightened sense of smell?” His face doesn’t break despite your hands clasped in front of your chin.
“You’re just as fucking annoying as that moron.” He huffs “Get in the fucking car, we’ll follow his trail.”
“You can smell him from the car?”
“The blood, Jesus Fucking Christ, there’s a trail of blood.”
“Ah.” Is all you reply as you find your seat in the passenger side and start your own one on one team up with Wolverine. Its not exactly the way you imagined it, but beggars certainly can’t be choosers.
After a few moments of sullen silence, you decide that there’s no time like the present to form a long-lasting bond.
“What’s your world like?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Okay... What’s the first thing you’re gonna’ do if they can save your world? I bet its something boring as fuck, like team-“
“What did you just say?”
“I bet you’re gonna do something boring like-“
“No before that.”
“What’s the first thing you’re gonna’ do if they save your world?” You question, his sudden interest in your words takes you by surprise as he has been vacant from your conversation.
The breaks suddenly shriek as the car comes to a stop.
“What do you mean if?”
“I…”
“You said they could fix my world. Undo it all, is what you fucking said.”
“I mean I think they can!”
“You fucking liar.” The edge to The Wolverine’s voice is terrifying. The realisation trickles down your spine, Logan has been nice to you all this time, you’re finally meeting The Wolverine.
“I didn’t lie!” For some reason you’re ashamed of your deceit, you’ve murdered countless people and still, you’ve felt less remorse. Logan’s eyes pin you in your seat as disgust clouds his face. It hurts more than you can fathom. “Not exactly, I think they can fix your world! – I needed your help and if you killed Wade there was no hope for my universe!”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about your universe!” He spits your way; his hands are gripping the wheel in what seems like an effort to keep his cool.
“I know, but I do!” You cry back at him. “You know how to save the world, you’re the fucking Wolverine! I know how to kill people, but this hero shit, this isn’t me!”
“Ha! No shit.” There is pure hate in the man’s eyes as he stares back at you.
“Please, you’re Logan. Whether you’re the worst one or not - You’re still better than me.”
“Get out of the fucking car.” The words come from between clenched teeth and are filled with warning.
“No – fuck you.” Your rage breaks the banks to meet Logan’s. Perhaps it’s the guilt, maybe it’s the fear for Wade but something within you snaps at his constant bad temper. “It was an educated guess and a fucking reasonable one at that, get the fuck over yourself you big bird wannabe geriatric fucker! “
He slams his palms on the steering wheel, his nose flares and his teeth clamp together. “Fuck me? Fuck you – you sad pathetic excuse for a side-kick. No wonder the X-Men wouldn’t take you, and they’ll take fuckin’ anyone. You are a ridiculous, immature, moron who spends her days following around a fucking clown to avoid facing the reality that you are no one. I have never met a sadder, more attention starved asshole in my entire life. You were right about one thing, you’re no fucking hero.”
Its shameful the way your stomach drops, and your eyes involuntarily begin to tear. To hear your hero say the words you’ve thought about yourself whilst laying awake at night. It’s a knife to the gut.
“Nothing to fucking say, huh, Angel?” The use of Wade’s nickname for you is like sandpaper on your skin, it rubs you the wrong fucking way.
“I am going to hurt you now.” Your voice is barely a broken whisper.
“You’re going to hurt – “His faux chortle is cut short by a swift punch to his face. You’re worried you may have been overzealous with your swing when his nose begins bleeding. The Wolverine is stunned for only a moment before he grabs the back of your neck and proceeds with smashing your face into the dashboard and those concerns are quickly put to bed.
The old fucker is strong, but you don’t think he’ll kill you, yet another educated wish.
“Not so tough now…” He shouts as the radio channels change with your skull. Pulling a knife from your leg strap you embed it in his thigh and pull the lever to recline your seat whilst he’s distracted, luckily, you’re not there when he swings for retribution.
Though one of his fucking steak knives catches your upper arm slicing through the leather. Warm blood trickles down your arm, staining the beige interior of the poor Honda.
Your legs are your strongest asset, so when he attempts to restrain you with the seatbelt, you are presented with your window of opportunity. You wrap them around his neck as you pivot your hips slamming the Wolverine headfirst into the metal of the door. Once, twice, three times - on the fourth he lands a fist to your gut, luckily, he has retracted his claws.
If he was willing to kill you, you wouldn’t stand a chance.
You’re winded struggling to catch your breath from the gut punch, but you manage pull the knife from his thigh that is nestled between your legs and thrust it into his neck, you aim for the spot you’d fantasied about kissing before he’d torn your character apart piece by piece, now you just want to bathe in his fucking blood.
It was the pain that instantaneously made his claws extend. He’s quick to move them, though he slices through the sides of your suit as he buries them in the chair behind you. Your ribs are a bloodied mess though you don’t care, in a few hours they’ll be good as new.
Logan has seized the opportunity and has your arms pinned to your sides, his blood has cooled a little more than yours, he doesn’t seem to want to murder you over an argument.
Perhaps he’s more well-adjusted than yourself, that thought alone should concern you, except it just enrages you further.
“You stupid fuckin-“The Wolverine starts admonishing you, before you swing your head forward and headbutt him.
Yes.
You really do that.
You headbutt the man with the adamantium fucking skeleton– at full strength. Its sheer dumb luck you don’t crack your own skull in the process– maybe Logan was right, you are fucking dumb.
“Fucking fuck!” You cry grabbing your forehead and writhing. Noone wins with a headbutt, except Logan apparently.
“Fucking stop that.” Your writhing has pushed your core against his crotch, and he is already packing quite the heat at what feels like half-mast. He grabs your hips to stop your movement, but it only seems to push you closer. “Stop fucking moving.”
The constant arousal you’ve felt since meeting him returns in double time, Logan’s nostrils flare and his eyes darken. It’s debased and you’re ashamed that you want him, you haven’t stopped wanting him, despite the awful fucking words that left his mouth minutes ago.
“Like … a little pain Wolvie?”
Its relief you feel, you think, when instead of answering or punching you in the face, he closes the gap.
The Wolverine’s claws retract, and he grabs at your chin. Logan’s mouth utterly devours your own, your front tooth clashes with his own as you push yourself upwards, you pull your knife out of his neck, catching his grunt of pain on your tongue as you begin licking your way down his thick throat.
The vein you’d spotted hours ago is throbbing freshly healed, you sink your canines into the flesh and its as good as you’d fucking imagine. His groan is utterly beast-like as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him.
The Wolverine’s throat tastes like salt and iron. Thick, tangy and warm on your tongue as you soothe the bite. It drives Logan wild, thrusting his hardened member against your warmth. One of his gloved hands rises to lock on the back of your neck to pull you into yet another earth-shattering kiss. His sharp hot tongue slides against your own, exploring the expanses of your mouth like its his to claim.
You bite at him again then, your teeth catching his bottom lip sharply. Logan groans into your mouth before you use every ounce of your enhanced strength to throw him backwards against the dashboard.
He is taken utterly by surprise as his head slams into the windscreen cracking the glass with a grunt. When he looks your way Logan’s eyes are blackened with desire, he is utterly wild.
Slowly as if afraid to make any sudden moves, you unzip your combat boots, your eyes never leaving his. One boot and then the next.
You thank the TVA’s tailor for making your suit a two piece as you shuffle backwards into the backseat, pushing the thick leather down your legs all whilst maintaining eye contact with the beast leaning against the dashboard.
“You sure you want this Darlin’?”
“Darlin’?” You question mockingly, your voice lowering to imitate his own, as you wantonly spread your legs, your bare leg resting next to the headrest. Only a pair of black cotton panties separate him from your most intimate parts and his eyes are locked on your clothed core. “a second ago it was ‘Pathetic Moron’ to you.”
Your head tilts in question as his eyes lock back on your own, you think perhaps for a moment something akin to regret passes over his face, but you’ve never been entirely comfortable with feelings, so you drop your hand into the waistband of your panties, you’ve barely circled your opening with your pointer finger before he’s on you.
“That’s my job, you fucking Moron.” He plunges two bare thick fingers into your heat. Gasping you throw your head back against the headrest, it’s a tight fit and its been a while but the slight burn eases some of the aching in your core. “You’re fuckin’ soaking wet, you like it huh, bub? Making me bleed?”
Your grab his jaw, your nails digging into his flesh. “I’d like to bathe in-” He scissors his fingers finding that spot inside you and you let out an embarrassing noise, somewhere between a gasp and a moan. “-Your fucking blood… you mean motherfucker.”
You’re an absolute goner when he starts rubbing your clit, after a day of foreplay your body seizes, and you grab at the nape of his neck trying to find something to anchor you down. But as fast as the build was you come tumbling down just as quickly, when he cruelly withdraws his hands.
“No! - Wha- what the fuck?!” You’re almost crying as your torn from the precipice.
Logan flips you over onto your stomach before you can complain any further, your face down on the filthy upholstery as he pulls your panties from your hips. You can’t see him from this angle, though you can feel his warm hands tracing the globes of your ass.
You force your knees further apart, pushing your bare soaking pussy against the tight bulge of his yellow suit. If you had enough of your facilities about you, you’d be embarrassed that you’re currently rubbing your cunt against The Wolverine like a bitch in heat after he’d chewed you out only minutes ago.
Logan’s hand dip between your thighs, his fingers swirl along your hole, dragging your wetness along to your aching clit.
“You think I’d make it that easy?” He asks as he continues the journey back and forth. On the second pass he dips his finger inside of you for a fraction of a second before resuming its path. “What do you want, darlin’?”
You weren’t going to beg, in fact you bit your tongue to stop the traitorous words from forming, this man had already made you abandon most of your self-respect, he wasn’t having this.
“Logan…” At your breathy words the man leans forward, pressing his fabric covered cock into your ass as he folds his body over yours. One hand comes down next to your shoulder, the other explore your tits as he rocks himself into your throbbing core. It’s the perfect storm as he nuzzles into your exposed throat but somehow you manage your words. “Fuck me or don’t, I’m not begging, bub.”
He exhales through his nose in what you guess is equal parts amusement and annoyance, but you’re far beyond caring. He places a bite on the spot where your throat meets your shoulder as his body pulls back. Momentarily his hands leave your hips to deal with his own pants. You hear the clank of his belt hitting the car floor moments before you feel the head of his cock, running along your folds.
The head of his cock is thick, and it feels hot to the touch as he runs it along your slick. All of a sudden Logan pushes forward and sheathes himself inside of you with a single thrust.
You try your best to hold in your incoherent moans but to little avail as he pulls back before slamming full force back into you. If you were a human woman, your pelvis would’ve shattered from the force of his hips against your ass, instead you gather your strength and push back, allowing him deeper. The both of you moan in unison at the depth he reaches.
You grab onto the foam of the seat, ripping through the fabric with your bare hands desperate for an anchor as Logan unforgivingly pounds into you from behind, once again he folds his body over yours, wrapping a palm around your clawed fingers.
“.” He grunts something incoherent into your ear as he picks up the pace, slamming into you repeatedly, slowly picking up his pace. Your core is positively aching as you throb around him, pulling him deeper within you. If you were expecting any further explanation, you’re sorely disappointed.
The wolverine pulls back, gripping at your hips keeping you still as he resumes his powerful strokes. Logan’s hand dips to your clit, rubbing quick circles sending you barrelling back towards your orgasm. As you begin to clench around him, he pulls your body upwards, his head brushing against the top of the car as he holds you against him his fingers never leaving your clit.
“Come on my cock, Angel.” Unable to stop yourself you clench around him, hearing him talk like that does something primal to you.
You fucking loved Logan’s mouth, you bet he ate pussy like a champion if he played the clit this fucking well.
You stopped fighting it and threw yourself from the cliff, shattering in his thick muscle veined arms as he held you up against him, his cock still viciously plundering your depths.
“You’re so fucking tight.” He whispers against your neck whispers peppering it with bites.
Logan gives you a few moments to come down from your high before he resumes his punishing pace, you think perhaps you’ve reached your limit of pleasure, that the threshold can’t possibly be topped until he whispers into your ear in that gruff voice.
“What was it Wilson said? Filling all your holes?” The Wolverine asks, his eyes meet yours over your shoulder meaningfully, asking permission as he offers you his thumb. You merely moan your approval and wantonly draw his finger into your mouth, soaking the pad in saliva.
Logan yanks your head into a vicious kiss. It’s a messy one, filled to the brim with need. The hand not currently locked on your neck holding your face to his, travels down your back, through the valley of your bodies. The pad of his pinky runs appreciatively over the globe of your ass, before his hand dips into the crease.
Logan’s thumb runs teasingly against the tight ring of muscle, it’s a foreign experience which makes you startle slightly.
“Anyone ever fucked you here?” He asks as he bites down your neck, delicately pushing you forward until your head rests on the backseat. You shake your head as your eyes close, his cock is buried balls deep within you as he plays with your asshole.
When his thumb finally breaches your tight hole just past the nail, he begins his thrusts once more. His cock fills your pussy from behind and suddenly you feel so fucking full, Its far too much for you.
“Fuck… Logan.” You gasp almost on the verge of tears as pounds you into the back seat. It seems the ass play has gotten to him more than expected, as his pace has increases.
“Where?” He asks breathless from the exertion as he pulls his thumbs from your ass and takes a handful of the meat on your hips.
“Inside…. Please … Logan.” You practically beg though you’ll never admit it, his rhythm becomes stunted as his hips slam into the back of your thighs.
“Give me something tight to come in, Darlin’.” Moaning at his words you’re eager to obey as you reach your hand between your own legs and rub mercilessly at your clit. The unforgiving pounding, the grunting and the fingers currently bruising your hips and the burning of your now vacant ass send you sailing over the edge.
You clamp down on him like a vice, groaning unable to hold back your whimpers anymore as he finally bites your neck and pumps his seed deep inside you as far as it can go. Logan grunts like a beast as he pulses deep inside of you.
Logan collapses beside you. Dents in the interior of the van you don’t even remember making have appeared from where a stray elbow or knee has hit the metal in the throes of passion.
The Wolverine tucks his cock back in his suit. Ever the gentleman, he uses your black panties to wipe away the cum dripping from your thighs, you haven’t got the heart to tell him that when you’re commando redressed in your suit that you can still feel him dripping from you, your pussy uncomfortably slick against the leather.
After dressing, the two of you sit in contemplative silence. Neither one of you has the emotional complexity to discuss what happened and neither one of you will accept fault for your argument that led to it, so, silence reigns.
The tension is sliced in two as Logan leans forward and pushes an errant lock of hair behind your ear in an act so goddamn endearing, you melt. You still wouldn’t apologise for lying, because you didn’t lie but you can meet him a quarter of the way.
“I’m sorry for calling you geriatric.” You whisper catching his eyes, a small spark of humour leaps into them, you’ve seen more emotions from your hero in the past half an hour than you knew he was capable of.
“I shouldn’t have-“ Logan’s heartfelt apology is cut off by the lead of this goddamn story.
“Well, well, well. Would you look at this, My best friends, Ha! I get fucking kidnapped, an arm ripped off and you’re nowhere to be found? I thought don’t worry Wade, they won’t leave you, Y/N/N will come around that corner any second."
Wade has appeared through the passenger side window; he looks a little worse for wear and has a child’s arm growing from his stump, its kind of gross to look at.
"What if Colossus had had his way with me? What then Y/N? I expect this from Wolvie, but not from you! No, no heroic rescue for old Deadpool. I have to save myself because you fuckers are too busy playing hide the adamantium bone! Thanks for nothing guys. Now the car has old man sex stank to it, as if this hunk of shit Honda could get any worse!”
#deadpool#wolverine deadpool#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#james howlett x reader#worst logan#logan howlett x you#wolverine smut#wolverine x you#graphics by saradika
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