#yeah this is my only contribution to
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Imagine your f/o calling you by your name in a sing song sort of tone
#: ̗̀➛ 𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖓 rambles ✧˖*°࿐#Any of my f/o's do this and I would fold like a lawn chair#I would be gone#Dead deceased#I would be singing thank yous as I get shown the non pearly gates of hell#My name falling from their lips would be absolute heaven#f/o imagines#(yeah my only contribution to that tag)#(for now... Until we meet again)
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I'm observing a professor for grad student purposes and at one point today, he asks the students if any of them know anything about the Franklin Expedition and I about levitated out of my seat
#franklin expedition#he had them do some brief Googling and then connected it to the topic for the day#but i was like 'oh my terror mutuals would be LIVING for this'#at one point he was like 'wait whose remains was it they found with signs indicating cannibalism? it wasn't fitzjames was it?'#and i was like 'yeah it was fitzjames' but that's the only thing i contributed and i was so proud of myself for that restraint#anyway#the terror#amc the terror#james fitzjames
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WAIT THE KRATT BROTHERS HAVE A FANDOM TOO
#like *obviously* but somehow i never considered it??????#< me being part of a fandom for technically a kids show#hello people how are you???#i can’t contribute much because i haven’t watched this show in years AND in german#the only thing i *can* say is that in the intro song my brother and i spent hours arguing over whether they were singing#‘’tiger’’ or ‘’warrior’’ (the two words sound very similar in german)#((‘’tiger’’ and ‘’krieger’’))#uhh yeah that’s all#go wild#wild kratts#kratt brothers#martin kratt#chris kratt
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i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using
#our t#this is *any* trans hc it doesnt matter the flavour of the trans headcanon. i dont have time for that shit i have real problems#if i see one more fight over jegbert or dave on this site i s2g#if june happens on screen like if we SEE june happen on screen then that will be canon. even for a single panel she will be canon#but genderbend aus have existed since the dawn of fuckin time and an au isnt gonna suddenly blast june's canon transness outta existence#like what are yall TALKING about.#and im saying 'if' w/ a heavy fuckin sigh bc while the hsbc team has stated that they have plans no one knows#when or where or how thats gonna happen. i want it to happen & i have my own hopes for how it will but we'll just have to see#but this aint abt rep yall just want justification to punch e/o in the face & call it 'fighting against ur intercommunity oppressors'#or whatever cause none of yall are brave enough to get organized#and actually try to make changes in ur communities.....headcanons will never be actual representation#as for dave. yall know that transmascs and cis boys also struggle with masculinity right? esp hegemonic pressures and ideals?#thats kinda what LE is about? thats why so many trans guys see themselves in the striders. thats why i think theyre supposed to be cis#but thats ALSO why so many transfemme folks see themselves in dave. and that should be rlly beautiful!!! we're not so different!!!#its almost like that power structure harms everyone in different ways bc of how we treat e/o inside of the structure!!!!!#i cant TELL you how many of my cis guy friends have cptsd from just not being allowed to express sadness or joy in an acceptable way#and davepeta being nonbinary only adds to this!!! davepetas existence in contrast to dave DIRECTLY MIRRORS roxy in meat/candy#but yall are never gonna be fuckin ready for that so what the fuck ever i guess#i just feel constantly forced outside of this fandom or scorned as a Bad Tranny bc im very literally in the middle of this shit#and i dont believe one style of presentation is inherently better or morally righteous than the other. like what are yall expecting#are yall expecting to be let into tranny heaven bc u wear a skirt and say 'haha yeah all instances of mascness is grossss' be for real#just rlly highlights the fact that no one in this fandom wants to care abt intersex trans ppl or hear them talk or try to#contribute to gender analysis. its not girlboss enough i guess. sorry for not drinking the radfem rhetoric thats embedded itself#into this site i suppose. hope the fandom gets better but idk i dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon#stop treating femininity as smth inherently Morally Good its all 'divine feminine moon phase' bullshit slightly repackaged#to include transfemme folks. which none of yall should want. its a direct pushback to actual feminism but ok all mascs evil bc LE i guess#im not missing the fact that this fandom cracks down hard on queer mascness & tries to 1:1 equate that hegemonic cismasculinity either#yall aint slick at all. sorry im just. fucking tired. feeling like i dont exist & my words dont matter
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Collecting Laios’ bragging faces because they are precious
I'm persuaded there are more out there but I can't find them, I'll edit them in if I happen upon them. Update edit: I’ve found and added 1 more thus far!
spoiler ones (chap 85 or smth) under "keep reading" 👇
It’s so funny- the eagle head’s smirk omfg
#yeah buckle your seatbelts bc... We've been eating monsters this whole time hm-hm! B)#dungeon meshi#laios touden#let him be smug and proud#let him show off#he deserves it#My engagement got cancelled. No no don't stare at me in awe it's no big deal really#he loves theatrics sm he's so dramatic#Falin is so supportive and silly#i've had this in my drafts for months help#Ppl are encouraged to contribute if they find any others!! We must collect them all#Laios is so big brother shaped#Compilation#isn’t it sweet and telling that he only really got that smug demeanor with Falin and Marcille… Golden trio
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anderson's room being a goddamn mess of books will always be funny to me. man's a book gremlin and there's no stopping him.
Maxwell once tried to stage an intervention...
it failed.
horrifically.
#i contribute#my art#alexander anderson#hellsing#---#books for days#his bed is in fact large enough for him#however...#...............#yeah...#he's a very tall loot goblin#the only loot he accepts is book
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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happy decade anniversary to the first time I got depressed!!!!!! 🍾 🎉 🥳 🎊
#idk why i genuinely feel the need to celebrate but anyway#also i remember i got depressed bc 6 sep 2013 was when i got into music and my life changed and it was really fun and cool and good#and then 6 sep 2014 it was like. oh that was a year ago. i've been Alive alive for a year. time. wow. the passage of time. wow.#also the day before i was singing random stuff at school and my friend was like 'you're always so happy all the time' and i was like yeah#and then i thought about it like. am i??? am i actually happy?#also it was the day before the anniversary of keith moon's death and i fancied him when i was 14 so#also it wasn't the 60s and i wanted it to be the 60s so that contributed as well#many many factors. and then 14yo me had an existential crisis about time and everything 👍#and since then me and the depression and the time crisis and the constant need for a hyperfixation have been in some sort of toxic polycule#and who would i be without them <3#this isn't sarcastic btw i am genuinely celebrating the depression for some reason#idk why but i must romanticise not only the good but also the very bad or things will start to go to my head again#ramble#anniversary ramble
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Sometimes venturing onto the For You side of Twitter sparks joy.
Based take. Shoujo and Josei are fucking top notch, both in characters and art style (how can you not think they’re beautiful?)
“Ruined the JJK and MHA fandoms” is WILD. I avoid fandoms for the most part (except perusing tumblr for the occasional fucking thesis women write about character motivations i love you women <3) because they usually suck. Seriously, I kept up with OPM for a bit because it was entertaining but holy shit the subreddit (very much full of men) is literally just… sexy woman. More sexy woman. Memes about artist constantly drawing sexy woman. Memes. Occasional power scaling arguments. Low quality page colorings of the exact same page. There is NOTHING. How the hell can women ruin the fandom when the fandom IS the women?!
It’s the women creating in depth analyses on characters; it’s the women writing fanfiction, creating doujinshis; it’s the women creating fandom centered accounts; it’s the women buying every new merch piece that comes out AND giving free advertising by posting about it online. And then men will go on and rag on women for doing all these things. It’s infuriating.
Longevity of a series is also something these idiots ignore. Seriously, look at Katekyo Hitman Reborn. The manga ended in 2012 and the creator is working on a different series. Katekyo Hitman Reborn still gets regular merch releases. This is a series that ended over a decade ago and still has an incredibly dedicated fanbase of, I wonder who, that regularly spends enough money to keep it consistent. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that series is supported mainly by men. I do not care how hard Amano Akira tried to alienate her female fans with her treatment of the female characters you know exactly whos spending the money based on who is constantly getting merch (minus the titular character, because of course he has to be there.)
Honestly I don’t give a damn that fandom can often be absolute insanity; you get a group of people together and it’s always going to be a shitshow, that isn’t unique to fandom, people just like to pretend it is because as always, there’s an undercurrent of misogyny because people know women carry that shit but they only want to acknowledge it when they can use it to criticize them.
I love that she came for the JJK fandom as well. I’ve been following the series because honestly it is really fucking funny because it is the epitome of shounen tropes. The author literally baked them into the world. Explaining your abilities to the opponent makes them stronger. So this entire series you get giant pages of just white with text explaining every little fucking thing like theres a narrator standing over your shoulder making sure you can’t possibly miss anything on the first read. Fuck dude, I don’t mind exorbitant amounts of text in my manga, but you cannot be serious in pretending that is good writing. There’s a deus ex machina that every character can pull out of their ass called a binding vow. Black flash also falls into this category.
Hell, the latest arc has literally just been flashback after flashback playing during the battle of the characters forming a bunch of plans in preparation for the fight we currently are following. This is genuinely one of my most hated tropes. The characters just get off screen power ups that then get handwaved as “well we showed you the flashback right?” there is NO anticipation, any excitement you feel for the battle is purely manufactured rather than genuine. It’s not “I can’t wait to see how the growth I followed of these characters affects the battle” it’s “wow, what cool ability will they pull out of their ass next?” I hate it I loathe it and it’s even worse with emotional moments. Why couldn’t you write this into the story in the first place? Why are you giving it to me in a shitty flashback?
Maybe I didn’t explain it well enough because I launched into a rant. The reason I hated it so much is because it forced the reader to be an observer rather than an active participant in the manga. Everything is spoonfed to you. You don’t need to reread the chapters over and over to put together the pieces on how, where, and why each action took place, the author does that for you. You don’t see everything from a new perspective when you read it a second time, catching lots of things you may have missed because you’re not allowed to miss anything the author deems important.
I enjoy this manga. There is good things about it. But it is nowhere near the god manga (“kamige” would be the term if it was a visual novel; I don’t know a manga equivalent) men like to pretend it is. It genuinely seems like they think everything being explained every page is good writing.
Based and succinct.
Anyway, you shouldn’t restrict yourself from experiencing specific genres because they’re for “the lessers” because that’s actually fucking cringe and maybe you should touch a Josei manga, or even a Shoujo manga. Maybe it’ll open your eyes and you’ll realize, hey, women’s media is actually- oh who the fuck am I kidding just pull the trigger.
#taking the bait and getting mad about things that dont matter dot rtf#i would genuinely love to write actual well thought out well written and well researched essays on the shit im into#but going on barely edited rants is easier and gives me those feel good chemicals faster#i started this with twitter sparking joy then proceeded to go on a rant about how much hate fills my heart#i hope my ranting is at least somewhat coherent because my thought process is incredibly scattered right now#i also rant about JJKs writing because i was going to do that one of these days anyway but i read my sleeper activation phrase in a tweet#basically im mad at how much men ignore womens contributions to the series they claim to enjoy#no evidence is ever good enough for them either#you have a japanese study showing the sex division for a popular series has an even 50:50 split?#it doesnt fit the exact parameters that i believe it should! (angry mention about ‘the gays’ when they werent even brought up)#also yeah im sure when theres an even amount of both women and men watching something ONLY the men actually contribute right#ask me about my opinions i dont bite ;^)#also i need a nap because i have been awake far too long hello insomnia#was about to go to sleep then i was provoked and had to fight (opened twitter and then rant on a blog out in nowhere)#goodnight (its noon)
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if i stay over the weekend to help on a student film set, i won’t go back to my hometown which will upset my mom (and also cause me mental distress) but if i go home (mom happy, me happy(ish)) i’ll miss out on the opportunity to learn more about working on film sets (somethign i’ll have to do next semester for my own film) and i’ll reinforce in my brain that i’m not capable of doing literally anything and that i’m a fuckifn loser
#anyway i’m going home bc my mom was happy when i said i could#and i like it when she’s happy#it wouldn’t be so bad if my dad wasn’t working insane hours that left her alone for most of the day#but yeah.#i feel like when i graduate i’ll be shit out luck bc i haven’t made good connections bc i’ve only ever been on two sets#and it’s all my fault bc i don’t know what to do to make everyone happy#god please i want a solution i can’t keep living like this#i keep telling myself ��you don’t have to be on set to contribute to films’ i’m a fucking editor for gods sake people know me as the editor#that’s my thing but i still feel like i’m not doing enough and i’m letting everyone down and that i’m on the outside of it all all the time#bc i have to go home every weekend or the world will end or whatever#i feel so fucking useless rn y’all#first day of my period i’m probably overreacting but idk it feels so real#i messaged someone else about being on their set so i can at least say i’ve done SOMETHING and she left me on read so that’s fun#god i’m sorry for this yall i’m going through it right now
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sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔
#‘aren’t u already super indulgent’ you’d be surprised#everything will be tagged either fanfic bullshit or gayalanwoke if you wanna block 😭#sorry i kinda maybe sorta will be having a moment. for a while.#idk if I can call myself disabled. but like yall know I have diagnosed cptsd and suspected-autism#sooooooo#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all#I can hardly manage with my parents#and now . idk. basically my routine for the past 20 years is being disrupted and im not handling it well#not only that. just.#again like I said taking care of myself in general is really hard#AND I have . college now.#lord 😭#I’ve always been a straight a student in high school and community college right#four months after my cptsd developed? I dropped out of community college 🫠#bc I literally couldn’t handle it#that was last February#now im at a . four year school#so#im tweaking#like actually this time#and since hyperfixations are All Consuming . they are as helpful as they are debilitating yk#so like yes this show/the fic might contribute to education problems. buttttt it’ll also stop me from crashing out!!!!!#so . yeah. yall might be hearing a bit more from me 😵💫#or#I’ll become extremely self conscious and never follow through#sorry#this is so funny I’m freaking out that yall might be angry im posting abt stuff that makes me happy LMFAOAOO#THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IN MY HEAD LMAOOOO#yall: hey gayalanwake! what’s up? cool binder. hey gayalanwake! wanna come over to my house today? :D#me: they alllll hated me 🐺
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whats more queer, a comic about queer women or a webcomic that queer people grew up with and kinned the characters of
#rambles#ive literally read homestuck since 2009.#you can go back to the first page of my blog and see homestuck fanart#there is queerness in homestuck#but the majority of the queerness people talk about is just headcanons or fan creations that were elevated to canon status#like yeah all the trolls are bisexual and rose/kanaya are lesbians#but homestuck NEVER messed with transness until fans were allowed to contribute to the story#and june egbert is still not canon.#andrew hussie promised they would make her canon and she still isn't#and he only made her canon... AFTER THE COMIC WAS OVER#literally dumbledore is gay but we're forgiving it cause hussie came out as nonbinary recently
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Me pondering: kids are capable of going through and understanding complex problems and their feelings should be taken seriously when it counts.
Me practically: who are all these annoying fucking kids in the milgram fandom and why are they posting the worst takes and most irrelevant bullshit I've ever seen ever???
I think these are valid to coexist.
#haterposting sorry lile kids like amane?#w ACTUAL maturity and intelligence? yes hear them out!!#some 13-year-old posting drivel about “ships” when it's completely irrelevant#or missing the point of very complex plot points bc they are Literally Not The Age Demographic and Actually Dont Understand It?#im SO SORRY i am not gonna b mean to anyone but I WILL HATE THEM FROM AFAR#GO BACK TO BNHA OR DANGANRONPA U ARE ACTUALLY MAKING THE SPACES LOWER QUALITY BY BEING HERE#like obviously it does not matter at all lmao kids will do whatever#i was watching bojack horseman at 13 thinking i was So Smart i don't get to talk#but to be fair i NEVER missed the point as bad as some milgram kiddies in the YouTube side of the fandom#like no “wrong” way to enjoy things but imo they legitimately need to enjoy something else#but literally if your only takeaway from this project is “omg ship cute characters silly”#but you still insist on joining discussion spaces? god please leave#I DON'T HATE MINORS I DON'T DISCRIMINATE i just think the minors who legitimately have nothing to add should shut the fuck up#sorry livechat got me wildin lmaooooo idc that much but like it's a weird contrast#cuz my general genuine feelings for most situations is “yeah listen to kids' perspectives wholeheartedly”#but like ONLINE kids who post about nonsense that has nothing to do with what others are trying to discuss? godddd they legit need to leave#nothing against shipping either long as ur not Gross#(coughbitchesshippingwholeadultawunderagecharacterscough)#but if that's ALL YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT there are way better fandoms for that leave the milgram creators aloooone lmao#minors who actually Think about shit this does not apply to you obviously lol#if ur smart ur smart if you contribute u contribute#but like try to let urself be a kid sometimes too lol
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deeply unproductive therapy visit today lads
#jack facts#the pervasive belief that low self esteem is a universal issue is so deeply fucking annoying#anyway we were discussing my chronic underemployment because my dad lost his job so i'm obviously stressed about it#and she kept going on about confidence and being discouraged and etc like yeah fine i am discouraged but i'm still applying so w/e#but self confidence is the LAST thing i need to worry about. EYE know that i'm skilled and worthy of respect and fair compensation#i just happen to be an uneducated member of the working class who isn't very lucky or easy to exploit lol#and the latter is a good quality that i'm not interested in changing!! it's GOOD that i have too much self respect to overwork!#it's GOOD that i have too much respect for my fellow man to narc or manipulate them in the name of kissing corporate ass!!#it's GOOD that i'm not willing to knowingly spread disease or directly contribute to unnecessary waste!!!#but those things are necessary for ''good'' job performance at the (allegedly) only positions i'm qualified for!#that doesn't have anything to do with ME as a person or what i'm capable of or deserve!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!
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When I wake up tomorrow morning, I want an email and notification I sold Of Bugs and Birdsong and one quilt commission slot. Just one of those will cover the cost of a new mattress. If I achieve both, I can pay of Jasper's (RIP) Care Credit vet bill ($1238 and collecting interest).
We also have three medical bills from Bubby's emergency surgery in February. Three others were forgiven, but we still have $4614 with what's left.
If I sell all three quilt commission slots, Of Bugs and Birdsong, and all the other quilts in my shop, at asking price, I'll be able to cover the mattress, the vet bill, and two of the three medical bills.
It's gonna take some serious help though. Namely folks buying my work. I have plenty available, and will be back in my sewinh room making more on Wednesday.
Pics below the read more.
Of Bugs and Birdsong:
Quilts on the commission page:
Some listings in my shop:
#chaosfay talks#handmade#quilt#sewing#quiltblr#my art#i'm Disabled and my husband is the onky one who can work. i'm on SSDI and the only way i can make any money is selling my work#right now we're financially fucked. we're also unable to sleep in the same bed because the mattress is so terrible. he's sleeping on the#sofa while i deal with my own back issues on the mattress. sleeping alone is also dangerous for me because of SUDEP#my really bad seizures occur between the first and second stage of sleep. when i seize? he wakes up and helps keep me safe.#except now he can't and hasn't since January. because the mattress is that bad. so yeah. this is an ongoing emergency.#and now it's getting cold and bubby's mancave (and also where he sleeps) gets cold af. he runs the space heater all night and the utility#bill goes up a whole $100!!! i have a GFM set up and pinned on my profile. i would just rather sell my work. i can then make more space for#the many new things i'm gonna create. selling things also helps me feel like less of a burden and more like i'm contributing
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forever mad about how dirty they did aveline from act 2 onward
#thinking way too much abt it rn cus i just finished her quest today#she is important to liam and i enjoy their relationship a lot & also her character in general in the earlier acts#but MAN i hate what they did to her in acts 2 and 3#laya plays dragon age#feels like there is such a disconnect from her attitude between acts 1 and 2?#or well. maybe not disconnect exactly but even so there is an important shift there and we never even get to see it OR question it#she could have been such a good contribution to the story and the themes by putting her at a crossroads of#do i keep following what i know and become another cog in the system or do i challenge them and break out of it#cus like. in act 1 she is not above going against laws when her own morals (or even just biases) go against them#but is generally still in favor of ''regular'' law and order (which does get challenged by characters sometimes which is nice!)#(sort of) blind loyalty is already a fault of hers and now her loyalty is understandably mostly towards her guards#but then her companion quest is not in fact about herself but about frickin. courting the guy she likes???????#full on i thought this was a silly quest for levity in an act that has a lot of dark moments#but no it is Her Important Quest TM and not only does she not get with him if you dont do the quest#but her entire attitude and happiness going forward depends on it????? what the hell#also fun fact first time playing act 2 i thought that there was a lot going over my head and like#and some of it did yeah but i also just Assumed that bc the way aveline acted/ the guards actions were presented through her#didnt line up with what actually happened#(& her being so defensive and dismissive didnt line up with the impression i got of her before that)#sorry for the rant im just once again mad about cool characters being screwed over by the writing
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