#yeah this is in fact Quite old men yaoi

[redspleen]

oh, to tighten my hands around the waist of something violent

[thygoddessouijathicc]

Old Man Yaoi May Not Be So Old

So there’s a segment in the DSaF fandom that beleive Dave and Jack are visibly old men. I’m fine with it, I used to, and in fact love the designs especially because there’s seems to be an almost taboo of drawing old people to a point and it’s homely really great that people here are doing it, but I don’t think that’s actually true canonically like I used to. I must stress though DRAW THEM HOW YOU LIKE. They can be old or not it doesn’t concern me.

Both of them are corpses. In terms of age, yes, they are quite old, but corpses don’t tend to age. And we see this in DSAF with the Phones not aging visibly, perhaps it’s just that it’s stock photos but Harry, despite being Gen 1, is physically not old. Why? Because Harry isn’t alive. None of the phones are. The phones are just well preserved and act like living creatures.

You know what else isn’t alive but acts like it? Dave and Jack. While they’d be in terms of numbers, old, in DSAF 3, given their ages at which they died it’s unlikely they’d physically get any older. And don’t say some kinda magic thing because we know for a fact that both behave like corpses, especially Jack. Jack paints himself orange to look alive (a weird colour choice but I digress), he does this because his body is rotting, likely turning black or purple (this also means any cursed colour swap between the two, the Jack side may just not have put on his makeup yet lol). Jack is rotting, definitely not alive body behaviours. Dave also does not behave like a living person. How many of those do you know that can do what he does. There seems to be a consensus that Davetrap is rotting but Dave is too nothing happened to Davetrap to kickstart the process that would mean Dave could not have before, it’s likely the pests just got in because he was stationary and likely far slower.

Let’s also talk about their behaviour. It’s not great to go off of but Jack doesn’t act like a mature adult and neither does Dave, they act like they’re rather young adults still figuring themselves out. Jack especially is quite childish, as if he never got a chance to mature. You could bring up Dee, but Dee’s situation is far different. It doesn’t seem like Dee has actually mentally matured so much as she has been put in a position in which she has no choice but to take on a more mature role and tries to fit that, she has no reason to mentally age, and none of the other children have meaning if she actually got older there would have to be more to it. Dee is as old as she always was, any maturity added is not due to age but due to her situation. Dave and Jack are immature people, and with this in mind it paints a somewhat grim picture of the fact that they never got to mature.

One could mention the ending in which Jack dies of old age… but the phones also have beards here and Jack is actually established to be semi immortal so dying of old age just doesn’t make sense, he can die, but it seems like he gets back up. So let’s be real the beards are fake, and Jack probably ate something weird, and will be fine in like 12 minutes. The game probably ends when you die because it would be weird if it didn’t even if you do get back up.

The only time I’d say Jack permanently dies is when he’s burned. Which leaves no body behind, which by the same principle as the others, means there’s nothing left to come back which sucks for him because oops no soul either.

Jack can also get rabies but… this also doesn’t feel like a sign he is alive.

Dave actively does rot in the game as Davetrap, Jack rots constantly, it’s safe to say their bodies do not work like human ones especially considering not having organs is not something that kills Dave. At least not that we know.

With all of this in mind, yeah. They are corpses. And as I’ve said before, corpses do not age in DSAF physically or mentally, even Blackjack is incredibly immature if you actually look at his behaviour. He’s also an asshole who never gets character development but that’s a story for another time.

It actually makes more sense if they don’t age given the very little change in their behaviour or character between games even after a massive Timeskip nothing seems to have changed at all which makes sense logically too, because why would Fredbear give Jack the ability to age? Let’s be real here if Jack can age eventually that will become a problem given that he is immortal seemingly as long as he has a body to return to. There’s no reason to give him the ability to age and plenty of reasons not to.

Now that’s not to say their bodies don’t change, they do. And if you realistically want to draw DSAF 3 Jack in his most canon possible form… which I doubt many do… Jack doesn’t age he rots he’s probably just a lot worse for wear if he hasn’t found a way to stop rotting yet. Him being an old man is unlikely, but a very decomposed zombie? More likely than you’d think.

And before anyone brings up the tapes, Dave may just look like that, pretty much every piece of art in that game is by a different person who is not Doggo, while Dave seems to be a bit older Jack does not. The tapes are in the past if we are saying that is Dave’s age in DSAF 3, sorry no.

DSAF 3 has incredibly inconsistent art to a point I’d say fans can largely disregard it but that’s an essay for another time just know art in that game isn’t as canon as people seem to think it is. At least not by my observation.

Dave and Jack are old men in age, but not in body. No in body they are most likely the age they died at which seems to have been pretty young for both of them like we know Jack was in his early 20s and Dave is a few years older but also died at the very least a few months before Jack. They aren’t old men, at least not canonically.

I must stress I mean they probably are not canonically old because honestly the DSaF fandom needs to take a chill pill and stop being angry at people for making their own designs, literally do what you want as long as it’s not illegal or like super fucked up. Don’t make Jack 12 and Dave 60 and ship that, but if you want to draw them old be my guest. This essay was just my observation of the idea that the fandom calls them old men and people seem to think they are canonically but it just seems unlikely.

[catominor]

Hi! I am looking forward to the cato yaoi (I personally think the triumvirs should be involved) but did you have any more furius/martinus excerpts you could share? I know it's still very much a work in progress. I just love your work ❤️

hehe thank you... i need to do evil things to cato as soon as i . get around to it and actually decide on like . an actual idea of what to write lol.

also yeah sure! i honestly don't have that much actual writing about them that i can share, but yknow what . why not ill share this prospective first meeting scene i wrote over the summer.

---

Lucius Furius Camillus’ house was the most beautiful on the Palatine. Or, at least, this was what Gaius Martinus had heard; he had little eye for such things. And yet all the same, he had been curious when the invitation came; he had noticed him before, spoken to him, very briefly, a couple of times, yet did not know much about the man. 

He followed Furius’ dignified form into the atrium. He was tall (though not as tall as Martinus) and straight, and thin as a rail. He moved with a pronounced limp; the result, Martinus had heard, of some long-past war wounds which had left him in more or less a permanent state of illness. Martinus glanced up, noticing the wax masks of ancestors hung near the entryway; a practice of patrician and illustrious plebeian families Martinus had always found somewhat foreboding. Furius coughed (this was another affectation of his old injuries) and continued on at a leisurely pace, falling back to walk beside Martinus. 

Martinus could hardly picture Lucius Furius in the army, much less in battle; to him the image seemed comical. Tall and stately though he was, he looked fragile, like a slight gust of wind could have easily borne him off. He was around the same age as Martinus (in fact, a little younger, although anyone looking at the two men would never guess); around forty-five, his short black hair peppered with silvery grey. 

The walls of each room of the house were decorated with frescoes; he noticed these were mainly composed of scenes of gardens, which were filled with all manner of exotic birds. Finely painted, indeed, although they were old and rather faded. In a corner of the atrium there was a shrine to the lares of the house; its candles flickered in lanterns and cast a soft glow onto the little silver figures. There were flower petals scattered at their feet. The house was quiet save for a faint clattering from the kitchen, the lamps already lit as the bluish evening light diminished. 

There was a faint chill in the air; Martinus shivered, and noticed Furius did too, but he did not move to put an arm around the man as he might have for others. Something in his gut told him the gesture would run the chance of offending his patrician sensibility. And he did not want to seem over familiar, anyway. They passed into the peristylium and its beautiful garden. Furius wore relatively simple clothing for the likes of a wealthy aristocrat of his time, but it was clean and clearly the best he owned. On his right little finger he wore a seal ring of gold and blue chalcedony, which bore the image of Juno; on his left index finger an iron senator’s ring.

He turned toward the garden. “I designed it myself.” he explained. Clearly he was particularly proud of this area of the house. “I selected plants so something is always in bloom; right now it’s the narcissus. I specified that the earth be laid out in these hills, so that it might look more natural than a usual peristyle-garden; I cannot afford and have no interest to leave Rome to go to the country; and I need to have something to myself.” 

Martinus did notice it was quite unusual. A few trees ringed the outside; oranges, olives, figs, something else he didn’t know. Large bushes of rosemary and lavender clustered around a small fountain, and blobs of thyme crept over rocks. Thick vines just leafing out climbed some of the columns and up onto the tiled roof.  The rest was a sort of collection of grassy hills divided by paths, various shoots coming up at this time in the spring to add to the hyacinths already in bloom. The scent of the place was otherworldly. 

The narcissus huddled at the roots of the trees in heavy clusters, winking at them like stars in a dark field. A couple of statues stood in the garden; they looked old, the paint on them long since worn away, and never refreshed. Furius motioned toward a bench near the little fountain. He sat down nearest the orange-tree, sheltered under its new-green leaves and doubly illuminated in the bluish evening tinge and by the little stone lantern on the ground next to the pool. He leaned over, lifted one of the flowers’ heads and studied it, still not looking at Martinus. He could detect some nervousness in his posture. 

“I… Invited you here because I have a problem. I want to become consul.” Martinus was not particularly surprised. “Oh?” 

Lucius Furius finally turned to him, looked at him intensely with his large dark eyes. “I know you want this too. I want us to run together.” 

Martinus was a little surprised. “Really? Are you sure our interests are so aligned?” 

Furius’ expression was hard to read; maybe a little apprehension. “They are aligned enough.” He paused, perhaps considering his sell. “You’ll never get anywhere without patrician support. And I” he sighed. “I can’t afford it on my own. I’m sure you know my family has not achieved much in the realm of politics for quite some time.” 

Martinus looked at him for a moment, thinking. It was true, he had trouble winning over the patrician segment of the political elite. Being an Italian nobody with only a few generations of wealth and one senate seat behind you would do that. But the simple fact was: “Why me?” he asked Furius. 

Furius thought for a moment. “Because I think you’re the most well-off man in Rome whom I can stomach allying myself with, as well as being in a position to stand for consul with me. I don’t know you, yet, but I’m not throwing away my idea because of that. …Are you a good man, Gaius Martinus?” Again the eyes fixed him. Stern, inscrutable. Lucius didn’t really believe he was. 

“I believe I have brought much glory to Rome.” 

Lucius Furius hummed assent. “Mmm…” A flicker of …sadness? In his eyes. 

“...Your own military career?” Said Martinus. 

 Furius looked a little pained. “I suppose not all are constituted for such a life. I was one of those… not constituted.” A faint dusting of pink passed over his face; as befitted a man so pale, even his faintest emotions were written brightly on his cheeks. Martinus decided to change the subject. 

“Your reputation as a voice for good sense in the Senate is unimpeachable, at least. Everybody respects you.” 

“Everybody also makes a pastime of coming up with vaguely insulting nicknames for me, and giggling about me behind my back. Gods forbid I spend my free time reading the greatest works of philosophy and literature in the world instead of hanging around in stinking, sordid taverns, generating adultery scandals, and frequenting brothels.” He said, bitterly. He had Martinus, an incurable tavern-and-brothel-frequenter, there. Martinus laughed. 

Lucius Furius looked up, fixing Martinus with his dark eyes again. “That won’t stop them voting me in as consul, though. I know it. And censor after that. Especially with you, the military man, behind me. You would win glory for Rome on the battlefield, and I would restore glory to Rome here.” Martinus smiled. “You know, I’m starting to like this idea. But… I’d still like to know you better. Come to my house tomorrow afternoon.” 

“I shall, Gaius Martinus.” Lucius Furius said firmly, proferring his slender hand and looking down his nose at Martinus. Martinus shook it. 

[olivieraa]

Review of sorts lol

Ok, finished the gay Joey anime! ...Very very fast lmao

What to say, what to say...

Um, ok, the happiest I felt was hearing Joey's voice. I dont hear it in anything. In anything new, anyway. I rewatch YGO a lot, both dub and sub, mixed, random, all Joey's are Joey, even when they're Jounouchi

So his voice in anything is also Joey... well, unless he does a really creepy role. But I expect that with Kaiba's voice lmao or at least I used to. Dudes been getting only hot man roles lately, literally has the voice women (and men no joke) are drooling over

Every single one of them is about Kaiba's voice. He absolutely skyrocketed thanks to Jujutsu Kaisen

But, like I said, my boy Joey and his VA aren't getting any roles at all.

So him getting a lead character role was very pleasant for me. Making it a gay leading role was a huge bonus. It came out in 2018 and then the movie in 2021, during the years I didn't watch anime, but I would have fangirled like fuck if I'd been watching it weekly like I used to watch anime

Outside of that... It's pretty, most of the time. The animation can be quite inconsistent, but for the most part its a good looking anime. The movie was very pretty, the budget was upped.

Now, here's the thing. There was nothing particularly special about this BL story-wise. In fact, its very run of the mill. If you've seen or read enough BL, there are absolutely no surprises here. Nothing unexpected. Its just that this one is about actors. Actually I think Love Stage might have also been about actors... I cant fully remember. But you could replace the actors with musicians, or authors, or doctors. And you will get the same story. My fave of these run of the mill BL's is Gravitation, an old classic. This one tops it for me not only due to nostalgia, but I still sing "Spicy Marmalade" from the show all the time. It has the tuuuunes. And comedy.

But yeah, they're basically all just... general romance stories. Where there's no actual plot. And I'm the worst at judging this stuff bc romance as a genre is not for me. I've made posts about how I like romance as a side genre. I prefer an action series with a side case of romance. Like, if you take Jujutsu Kaisen, its purely action, no romance. But....... there eventually could be? It happened in HxH, and created a huge OTP for me. That's my thing.

Strictly romance animes, whether gay or straight, usually fall flat on me. The straight one's I'll give props to tho are Skip Beat and Kamisama with his pretty ass Bakura face

Actually Joey's voice was in this anime, he was an annoyed gay man lmao but again, these are old

So yeah, I cant judge the story. Judging from the comments, and I'm assuming 99% of them were from female fans, or fujoshis as they are called, it was well liked.

I gave it a 7 like I do with all of these types of romance animes that dont have something truly outstanding happen but aren't bad and are quite rewatchable. I did like when they went to Spain! It was just... v pretty.

There is, ofc, problematic stereotypical yaoi moments. Where would these generic stories be without them? Finding a pure, BL story is quite hard. Doukyuusei and Given are what I would consider to be non-stereotypical, if anyone wanted to compare. Both of those are lovely

But yeah, I had an enjoyable day binging the fuck out of it, which means I have a lot of work to catch up on! I did this to myself

Eh, what can ya do

[sinkix]

- What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Karasuno edition -

Obviously these aren’t meant to be taken too seriously lol. I’ll probably make this into a series at some point where I include the other teams idk this took me way too long to do JWIDJQENWKJQFN WE’LL SEE. ENJOY! <3

2D men are infinitely superior I said what I said.

Hinata: 

A sucker for motivational speeches or quotes and they always get you hyped up.

Very ambitious and positive despite frequently getting lost in life

Not as innocent as you seem but still a cinnamon roll lololol

You probably eat fruit as a regular snack n ppl judge you for it

Highkey a dumbass but in a very endearing way so people can’t help but like you

Summer is probs ur fave season

Definitely own several plushies and definitely get defensive about it

The friend people go to when they need cheering up.

You either go to bed at 8pm or 3am no in between.

Your texting style consists of several messages as opposed to one paragraph/sentence with the use of MANY emojis.

You 100% fuck with pineapple on pizza. 

Got your head stuck in a cat flap that one time.

Have a hella low alcohol tolerance or don’t drink at all.

Hella clueless when it comes to people flirting with you, they have to hold a neon sign in front of you for you to get the message

“Oh you were flirting with me?” “I was every day for 5 months but thanks for finally noticing”

Definition of a tab hoarder, your pc/laptop frequently crashes because it can’t handle that many but you refuse to get rid of any.

Always get toothpaste stains on your shirt no matter how careful you are.

“Wait we had homework???”

Nishinoya:

You often get random bursts of energy outta nowhere or at 2am and have no clue how to handle it 

You can’t help but head bang and scream the lyrics to your fav songs.

Probably have a hella diverse music taste.

Likely an active/outdoorsy person who either does sports or wants to.

Vvv loyal, type of friend you can call in the middle of the night and you’ll be there.

Chaotic good or Chaotic neutral.

You’re either one of the most responsible people in the room or one of the most fuckin chaotic and irresponsible lmao no in between it just depends on your mood.

Frequently pull all nighter’s and doesn’t even feel guilty about it

Chug soda like it’s water.

An extrovert or one of those introverts that are bat-shit once you actually get to know them.

You have zero shame, can and will run across the street stark naked for a cheeseburger and a can of sprite.

Like fuck yeah who wouldn’t for a burger and some sprite y’know??

Despite being a whirlwind you are actually a hella chill person to have as company.

You own a skateboard or want to.

Own at least one pair of converses or vans.

Probably have a bucket list or tons of future plans for travelling/adventures stored in your head.

You really want a dog and would call it something like Dexter or Human Destroyer 9000.

Likely have had several hair colour phases.

A slut for doritos.

You ate glue once as a kid and it was kinda okay and that fact still haunts you.

Tanaka:

Listen to rap more than any other genre and ur playlist is fire

Punched dry wall that one time

Probably have several piercings and plan on getting more

Prefer sports bras to regular ones.

Intimidates outsiders but your friends don’t take you seriously in the slightest lmaoaoaooa

Ppl find it hard to approach you but you’re actually super chill so you get sad 

Definition of that Kanye meme “before you talk to me” >:( “after you talk to me” :)

Probably don’t trust people easily

Type of person that once you’re challenged/dared to do something they WILL do it regardless of how stupid bc you hate being called a pussy.

Went through a phase where you only listened to Eminem.

Probably is/was the class clown or wished they were.

You have virtually no patience and a pretty short temper lmao.

You’re a go-getter and hate being told you can’t do something

Definitely snuck out the house several times as a teen.

Walks barefoot outside a lot bc fuck shoes lol

The pairs of shoes you do own are mostly worn down sneakers you refuse to swap out.

You’re that asshole that wears socks with holes in for the sport of it and it doesn’t phase you in the slightest. (dw I do too lmaooao)

Could probably bench press someone’s dad

Enjoy’s drinking coffee.

Kageyama:

Such a picky eater bitch god damn.

Usually hella hydrated and judge people that don’t drink enough water.

Eats spoonfuls of chocolate nesquik powder when no one is looking I said what I said

You like stoic and Tsundere guys who have the outer emotional capacity of a brick wall.

You’re probably the same in that sense and don’t enjoy letting people know what you’re thinking/feeling

Poker face 90% of the time

Type of person to pretend not to find a joke funny but then crumble and start crying with laughter.

Probs an introvert

Once when someone asked you what you wanted for Christmas you responded “to be left the fuck alone” and it still applies to this day.

like fr you just wanna be left alone man but ppl keep bothering you.

You HATE it when people tell you to smile and quite literally take it as an insult.

Your bedtime is 9pm and you stick by it religiously 

Always smell really good like damn what you got on??

The most you do with your hair if it’s long enough is throw it in a pony tail and call it a day.

Either have really nicely manicured nails or you’v chewed them down to the nub no in between.

You hate to admit it but you doubt yourself a lot and it really frustrates you.

Probably wet the bed a lot as a kid and you’re still salty about it.

lololol bed-wetter Kags lover

Audibly snorted typing that I’m sorry.

Probably had a ._. face reading that since ur usually hella unamused.

Cute awkward dork though behind that facade it’s just most people don’t see it.

So critical of yourself like chill

An earth sign or an Aquarius idc.

Do not know how to reciprocate a hug but desperately need one

When people flirt with you you somehow manage to make them intimidated with your responses and scare them off.

You called your teacher “mum/dad” once and you get Vietnam flashbacks to this day.

Daichi:

You probably have a daddy kink and lowkey daddy issues with it

Very supportive friend who has a lotta patience

Hella determined and humble.

Mostly wear black because it’s just much easier than colour coordinating and plus you just prefer the simplicity, but you’re pretty vibrant as a person.

The one who stays sober at parties to drive the others home.

Probably haven’t been in many relationships but still do enjoy romance.

seems stern but is actually very friendly and enjoy company bc you don’t like spending too much time by yourself.

Honestly just wants to chill out, go to bed and read a book.

A coffee connessieur but mostly just drinks instant bc ur too lazy to make it properly and just drink it black.

Very reliable.

Often get stuck with most of the work during group projects lololol

People frequently ask you for the answers to the homework/assignment and it really depends on your mood and how charitable you’re feeling as to whether you’ll lend it to them

Low-key a sadist.

100% Old soul

Despite this you are a fuckin dork and have quite an immature but really funny sense of humour.

You have a thigh kink. 

Def grew up reading wattpad smut and most of ur sexual knowledge stems from that

probably prefer manga to animated versions

Absolute pro at winged eyeliner and looks v good in it.

Probably give lectures even without realising it.

Shamelessly watches the nature channel for hours on end and what of it.

Honestly just done with everyone’s shit lmao

Sugawara:

Either are the mom friend or the one the mom friend has to look after.

You vibe with pastel colours

Your fav season is either spring or autumn.

oversized hoodies and knitted sweaters are your vibe.

Enjoy drinking herbal tea

Likes the smell of rain and will purposely step outside after a storm and S N O R T the smell of damp concrete. (srry if ur from some dry ass place like nevada lmao it rains alot in the UK soooOOOoO)

Quiet but have a really creative imagination and has one HELL of a loud voice when they’re pissed off

like,, I wouldn’t dare get on ur nerves ion want my ear drums bursting damn.

Hoards flavoured chapsticks and scented lip gloss

Either did or still have your Harry Potter house in your bio and it was probably Hufflepuff.

Gives people advice that they are fully aware also applies to themselves but doesn’t follow it LMAO.

Listens to K-pop and several Korean and Japanese genres.

Played a dating sim once and you enjoyed it but ur still ashamed and refuse to ever talk about it.

Smells like lavender or something hella floral

Probably reads a lot of Yaoi and no one else knows but you.

Would 100% own a chinchilla

Read Killing Stalking and it messed you up for weeks.

Asahi:

The one who was trying to flirt for months and the other person never got the hint

Probably a really pretty crier and vibe with the mascara running aesthetic.

You tear up easily lol.

Probably a water sign.

Low-key a bad bitch though 

Looks really good in red lipstick

That one person who’s v attractive but completely unaware and v insecure.

That one friend who seems so soft and innocent but can turn into a banshee when need be.

Crying is your therapy.

You overthink a LOT and it often stops you from achieving what you want.

Actually have a lot of willpower despite ur sensitivity.

Was def a pushover as a kid and still have a chip on your shoulder about it.

Hella artsy and day dreams a lot.

You attract broken souls and often get turned to when people’s problems need fixing yet you’re a total mess yourself

Listens to Girl in red while questioning your sexuality

which you do a lot.

You hate being put in a box or labelled.

Gave up on that hobby that one time and you really wanna get back into it.

Always have at least one hair tie on your wrist that’s basically an accessory at this point.

Own a phat ass fish tank with hella pretty fishes bro it’s such a vibe say hi to Nemo for me.

Yamaguchi:

Too scared to ask for extra ketchup packets so you get your friend to ask instead.

Probably have anxiety.

The time you stuttered once when introducing yourself frequently gives you cringe attacks.

Major animal lover and prefers them to people.

Talked to a tree once and it was a pretty cool experience.

Wear a lot of pink or cute colours and radiate babi energy.

Likely wear skirts 

Wear those aesthetic planets necklaces and your tumblr is filled with space related art and themes.

Enjoy staring up at the clouds and figuring out what animal they are.

Has a lot of secrets that they probably tell to their cat.

dw ur cat isn’t a snitch they got you covered.

“meow”

yeah they definitely didn’t just try to reveal ur deepest traumas to your cousin.

If you don’t have a cat you probably would want one and would call it Mittens or sumn.

You’re whipped for freckles and anyone that has them instantly becomes 1000x more attractive to you

Either like 5′2″ or 5′10″ no middle ground

Definitely own a turtle or rabbit and if you don’t then you should.

Forgets your assignments but the professor lets you off because you’re so nervous they can’t scold you.

Oversleeps at least 2 times a week

Will not get up before 1pm on a weekend

Wall flower at parties but people still approach you bc you are so friendly and kind.

Social anxiety intensifies.

Always get’s called on in class when you haven’t been paying attention and it really troubles you.

Has a minimum of 3 blankets on your bed that you cocoon yourself in.

Tsukishima:

Your attracted to snarky assholes.

Sarcasm and insults are your form of flirtation and you get immediately turned off if they can’t take it or get upset.

Probably shy away from your feelings

Random flashbacks to embarrassing events frequently keep you up at night

Judge peoples fashion choices as they walk past you but actually have a really good eye for what works and what doesn’t.

You look like you have your shit together and you kinda do for the most part.

The quiet kid in class that’s listening to some loud ass screamo or rock n roll’ but ppl have no idea.

Definition of the glinting anime glasses pushed up your nose bridge cliche.

When you make a mistake you question all your knowledge and abilities but no one else knows that about you

Refuses to cry since you view your emotions as a personal weakness

If someone hugged you you’d get VERY uncomfortable.

Physical contact is not your forte

Probably a 5′0″ demon.

Would peg a man to assert dominance but you’re actually a lil bitch.

Knows the answer to the question they can’t solve.

Doesn’t study as much as they should but somehow still gets good grades.

Really likes french fries and the taste of strawberries.

Just wants to be left alone

Ennoshita:

The one friend that gets talked over and it really pisses you off but you’re too nice to say anything.

Seems really passive but can actually be hella confrontational when they wanna be

No tolerance for peoples bullshit 

Really stable and just an overall reliable person.

People often forget you’re in the room lmao but it’s okay you’d rather listen anyway.

Actually has a really interesting mind and a lot to say but mostly keep it to yourself unless they’re your friend

Answered for someone else in attendance a few years ago and it still bothers you.

People often come to you to vent and you’re chill with it

Don’t stand out much but honestly it doesn’t bother you

Can and will get through an entire book/series in a matter of 3 days.

Quite a minimalist and organised for the most part

You look like you have your shit together and you def do.

Have a controversial taste in pizza.

You have more acquaintances than friends but the ones you do are a v tight knit circle.

Will re take a quiz several times till you get the character you wanted

Radiate Virgo and Libra energy.

Kiyoko:

Type of person to say “step on me” as a way of complimenting and you mean it literally.

Both a sadist and masochist

When someone tells you their not interested it just makes you want them 100x more and it frustrates you why are you like this.

Doesn’t compliment often but when you do it’s really heartfelt.

Looks like your silently judging people but in reality you really couldn’t care.

Just kidding you low-key judge them anyway.

Very picky when it comes to partners.

Independent but has random hella clingy moments.

Despite being quiet, you are capable of roasting a bitch alive if they test your patience.

Like I would NOT wanna get on your bad side

You could deadass send them to therapy, their emotions fenna need some aloe vera for that burn.

Just really calm and relaxed tbh so people enjoy being in your company even though you don’t talk much.

When you do though it’s usually something really interesting or funny.

You just don’t see the point in talking if what your saying doesn’t hold any value??

You hate small talk and would rather slingshot yourself off a skyscraper than partake in it.

Your face is easy to read and you make no effort to hide it.

If your in a bad mood they WILL know.

Look like your plotting someones demise or questioning life’s theories but in reality you’re really just thinking bout what you want for dinner.

Honestly just a sweetheart tbh.

Low-key have a staring problem.

Has really neat and cursive handwriting like who tf taught you that.

Yachi:

Frequently says something then panics that it could be misinterpreted 

You overthink literally everything you have ever said and the actions you haven’t even committed yet

Really likes the taste of sherbet 

Could cut a bitch if they needed to

You spend most of your money at Urban Outfitters and don’t regret it.

have an assortment of colouring pencils that ppl always try and borrow and never give them back.

You highlight the shit outta your papers and never read them again.

Really like the smell of peaches

Probably have a v interesting earring collection.

Hoard water bottles in your room and you feel majorly guilty about it.

The taste of honey disgusts you but you eat it anyway for some reason.

Somehow managed to burn rice and solidify soup.

You shouldn’t be trusted in the kitchen but you try your best regardless.

I feel like that applies to most things in your life

Like yeah you fucked it up but like you’re trying your best lol cmon

V tolerant of people but have zero time for fuckboys and shut them down instantly.

You frequently get the shakes from caffeine or anxiety

Or both.

You give really encouraging hugs.

Have no clue what you wanna do in life but it’s ok bby it’ll work out.

Takeda:

You’re a very underappreciated and underrated person and I love u

Probably an English/languages major

Really kind and outgoing but high-key mysterious

Actually has a phat fucking temper like damn where did that come from.

Won’t take no for an answer when you want to achieve something.

That one person people don’t realise is there listening to your conversations but you definitely are and now know Becky’s deepest darkest secret.

Fuck you, becky.

Wore contacts once and forgot to take them out for 3 days.

You wondered why your eyes were so itchy.

Your music taste does not match your appearance.

Probably watch a lot of crime shows and imagine you’re an investigator

Aced physics and chemistry.

More than likely an introvert with extrovert tendencies when you feel like it.

Actually quite temperamental but it’s okay since you’re a v genuine person.

Often debate getting a sugar daddy bc that income looking real tempting rn.

Honest to a fault at times but it’s something people come to appreciate about you.

Just really wanna sleep for 15 hours and sit in front of your laptop with some hot coco.

Ukai:

You like older men

The smell of tobacco and coffee low-key comforts you for some reason.

Peed in a bottle that one time while on a road trip and forgot to throw it out until you found it a week later.

You’re a slut for dyed hair and dudes with piercings.

You once got drunk and passed out on a spinning round-a-bout in a park and your friend still has pictures that you refuse to acknowledge.

Bi-curious and just radiate big Bi energy

Would experiment but you’re too hesitant.

Hates the taste of beer but drinks it anyway.

Just wants to be loved man I stg is that too much to ask.

Often wonder if your friends actually like you then realise you don’t really care anyway lmao.

You still love them though.

Tired of working over time and just wanna catch a break.

Amazon Prime is your best friend.

Random ass parcels comin thru’ each day and it feels like Christmas.

A very lonely and one-man party Christmas.

Stop spending your fucking paycheck.

Have a pretty dark/cynical but really funny sense of humour and you often make people laugh.

Have a big ass temper and people KNOW it.

Often fantasised about dropping out and becoming a stripper bc your patience was being TESTED.

Really likes money but who doesn’t tbh.

You radiate Chaotic Evil but keep it under wraps.

[fallenhero-rebirth]

Important

Okay, let's have a talk about words and their effect on people.

This is mostly tying in to the discord, but since it also has to do with design decisions in general, I am putting it on here.

First of all: I'm old. Well, not really, but compared to most of you. I'm 47, been queer since the eighties, and I've seen some shit. Done some shit too, if I'm being perfectly honest. I'm not perfect. I wouldn't even be bringing this up if it hadn't been brought to my attention from other parties as well (thank you anon from yesterday) and so I thought we might have a talk.

A talk about Chen.

Now, originally, Steel was not intended to be a RO. There was only Ortega and Mortum, but then this fanbase happened, and I started seeing Herald with new eyes, and Argent as well, so I added them. No issues there, the game got longer, but also better for it. People who've been around a while might remember that I was quite hesitant to add Chen, and warned that his romance might be a lot more slow-firing than the others. But, as time passed, and I got around to writing him more, I made the decision to revamp some things, and everything started to slot in place.

Except there was still one big problem.

You see, in my design document I had decided that every RO should be available for romance. This is very close to my heart, I don't want to lock people away from content just because they want to play a particular gender. Hell, this game is all about identity.

But, Chen was also gay.

Now, two things. Yes, this is a fictional character. He is nothing but what I am writing him as. At the time nobody had any idea, I think I had mentioned it in an author AMA, and as everyone knows, everything not in the published game is non-canon. And two, people's sexuality is subject to change. I should know. I've yeeted  myself through most parts of the rainbow spectrum by now it feels like (which is why I use the term Queer for myself). In fact, the way things like that change is very interesting for me, and I've very much liked exploring the various ways Ortega and Herald deals with same sex attraction in what still is a mostly straight world.

So there shouldn't be any issues, should there? I would have no problems writing  Chen discovering his bisexuality, in fact it could be a good way of talking about some things very close to my heart like what happens when your identity changes (went through a similar thing from the other angle, which is why I am no longer a lesbian).

Yeah. No issues. If this was a level playing field and a fair world, which it is not.

Even if I disregard the whole M&M problem with gay representation (if you have a bowl filled with candy and removes one, nobody will notice. If there's only five in the bowl, everyone will) there is still another thing, a bigger thing and this is where words come in.

I was gay online in the late nineties. Anime. Hentai. Yaoi. Fujoshis. I am not going into details here, but there is a VERY real problem with fetishization . I hope everyone is aware of the whole "fucked straight" trope. I am most familiar with it from straight men fetishizing lesbians, the classic "she just need some dick" and way, way worse. This is something I hope everyone agrees on is terrible. But... it's not only men that's guilty of that.

Gay men gets fetishized a lot, and yes, women are guilty of that. Everything from the ' infantilizing uwu cute gays' to the 'men get pegged' to... yeah, the thing we're getting into now.

He just hasn't found the right woman. This is big in real life, and that's a BIG thing in Chen's background. There is a possibility that a F!Sidestep romance route could be read as that, and I am not really okay with it. There is a real and marked difference between two old frenemies realizing they might have feelings for each other and that.

It's like the people modding Dorian's romance route straight in DAI. It's not just about changing a romance trigger to level the playing field (like with Cassandra, or Alistair), it's invalidating his whole background and what his father put him through (trying to use blood magic to make him straight). I am not really comfortable with being seen as catering to those people.

And then there is the last thing. The, for me, even bigger thing.

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU FUCKING WRITE ONLINE.

Yes, I have written a game that is pretty much angst fodder. You are going to get to kill a lot of people in book three, this is all about bad, dark fantasies but some of them should stay inside your head.

I would very much prefer it if you STOPPED joking about Chen not knowing how to perform oral on women, or just in general treating it as angst fodder. Like oh no, straight panic. Look, I will say it again. It is NOT a level playing field, gay panic Ricardo is not not the same as straight panic Chen. It's just not. All you are doing is making yourself sound like the kind of person I am quite sure you're not.

I don't think this fandom is filled with fujoshi's who gets off at fantasizing about  gay men learning that pussy is not that bad. I really don't. But honestly? Sometimes some of you sound like that. I know you're young. I know you learned most of your language around these things online, but the problem is that sometimes the origin of that language is bad, and the people who have seen that origin cringe every time you use it. I know that the top/bottom thing is used very differently now, but I still have to bite my lip not to rant every single time. I know that 'men gets pegged' is a meme.

I'm old. I've got thick skin by now. Not everyone does.

Just think about what you are saying, and how it might be taken. That's all I ask.  And we’ll see what happens with the Chen romance when I write it.

[medea10]

My Review of Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku

[kob131]

What do you feel about the post about Vic mignogna by ultraericthered

https://ultraericthered.tumblr.com/post/183990672385/im-sick-of-the-rangers-spamming-vics-tag-with

Let’s break this down.

Vic is absolutely guilty of inappropriate behavior, misconduct, sexual harassment, and possibly (just possibly) sexual assault towards others. This has been established by his pattern of behavior for years. Monica and the others are being entirely honest in their stories and the allegations are very likely honest as well. How this is even in question, I have no idea, but it upsets and disturbs me that there are so many who are quick to jump to Vic’s defense while simultaneously vilifying his opponents and accusers (and possibly victims).

A, He hasn’t been proven guilty of exual harassment OR assault and inapporiate behavior means nothing.

And B. yeah, no. Monica has been lying via omission for months now, refusing to give ANY details on any incidents DESPITE the fact that those details are REQUIRED to convict him. And before you say she’s scared: she’s openly threatened vic supporters with legal action. Over asking her for info. That is not the behavior of an innocent person.

Oh and C. NOTHING came to light about Vic for MONTHS. The ProJared shit started and ended in the same month.

What gives credibility to the side of Monica Rial, Jamie Marchi, Jamie McGonnigal, Marzgurl, etc. is that not only do their words and allegations line up with accounts of Vic’s skeevy behavior towards fans and women that have been going around the internet for YEARS (It’s honestly astonishing just how far back some of this goes), but how many other VAs, people actually in the industry who might’ve worked alongside Vic and would be there to witness his actions, have come out in Vic’s defense? Can’t really think of much. Meanwhile, how many have been coming out in support of the alleged victims? Quite a handful, even J. Michael Tatum, himself a victim of sexual assault in the past. Apparently, Vic being a primadona and a skeevy womanizing creeper has been an open secret in the VA industry since forever.

And of these guys:

Monica has evaded legal action and refused to give details NECESSARY to convict him

Marzgurl has sactively ENOCURAGE VIOLENCE

And Jamie has been proven to bully people into dropping Vic from cons.

As for the ‘accounts”: they’re eitehr anonyomous accounts, too old to prove...or taken out of context of the people involed.

And by the way. how many famous people probably came out and said ‘that guy’s a commie’ back during the Red Scare? People coming out to help doesn’t MEAN anything without proof. People in the wrong can still come out in droves. And if that doesn’t convince: does that mean rape victims who don’t have public support while their rapists DO are the ones in the wrong then? Same logic of ‘One party has more public support than the other, therefore they’re right.’

What’s damning on Vic’s side of things? Well not only was a thorough investigation into the sexual harassment allegations conducted during the time of the Broly movie’s production prior to Funimation’s decision to lay Vic off (something his fans don’t even seem to realize happened) -

You mean the one where they didn’t give any info and was probably a ‘cut off the controversial figure for profit’ decision?

- but Vic’s response to the whole situation has…just not been how I think an absolutely innocent man getting his career and livelihood threatened by accusation of things he absolutely never did and would never do would respond. Vic’s been pretty sincere and professional throughout this and I give him props for that, but his “defenses” against the allegations have always been along the lines of “I remember things differently” or “I didn’t realize she felt that way - I thought that thing we had was consensual and mutual.” Of course he’s not going to recall those incidents as being ones where he committed sex offenses because he did not see his actions as being such when he committed them. He fails to recognize how and why his behavior is so wrong. He doesn’t knowingly think of himself as a sex fiend and harasser when he acts that way - he really thinks he’s being nice (backed up by the allegation where he repeatedly asked his victim to “let me be sweet to you.”). But those moments were not consensual. The girls and women he touched or romanced were not comfortable with it.-

And Monica has threatened legal action and Marzgurl thretaened PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.

You wanna judge this based on public reaction? Show me where Vic threatens anyone who questions him.

What his intentions were at the time don’t matter when put next against how his victims internalized his actions and how they were made to feel -

No, intentions DO matter. That’s why ‘self defense’ and ‘murder’ are different concepts.

And on top of that, look at how Monica Rial worded her own account:

This, by contrast, is Vic’s wording of his side of things. He “got lazy.” He’s “a work in progress like everyone else.” And my personal favorite: “Voice actors are no different from you: we’re bozos. We’re all dumb humans just trying to do our best.” The emotions are sincere, but the words are unrefined and a bit try-hard in trying to paint a sympathetic image of himself.

And Monica, by your own standards, is trying to appeal to basic human empathy to trick people into believing her. Thing is, Vic is consistent in his actions. Monica has acted contradictory MANY times.

And what’s damning on the side of Vic’s fans and defenders? Well, I could not help but notice that they can be found all over Youtube, hive of the Far Right that it’s become-

Strike 1.

I also could not help but notice that whenever I clicked a video made for supporting Vic and tearing down his opposition and accusers (who, again, could very well be his victims), it was literally ALWAYS a dude speaking.

Strike 2.

It was always some man speaking in defense of this other man who he probably doesn’t even personally know in a situation he wasn’t there to experience and knows next to shit about, and demonizing “waamen” that he also doesn’t personally know. And in all of this, I have not once seen any valid reasoning for why Vic absolutely must be innocent of the allegations made against him other than “he’s a super popular, charming, beloved VA” and “he seems like such a nice guy”. It’s frankly quite terrifying that the immediate default for these people is to stand with the popular, prolific, powerful man (and I don’t want to be an SJW here, but that Vic is handsome, white, straight/cis, and Christian might be a huge part of it

Strike 3-

Not only is this gonna EMBOLDEN the assholes on Vic’s side-

But Monica’s defenders (like YOU) have focused on gender and bullshit instead of anything FACTUAL. You act like anyone whose accused of sexual assault is IMMEDIATELY guilty if the accuser is a woman and teh accused is a man. Never mind how most of these accusations come down to simple miscommunication between the parties and nevermind how if a guy tries coming to the police about being raped, it’s likely HE’LL be arrested. Let alone what happens if the woman gets pregnant and can sue for child support...even if she committed STATUTORY RAPE.

Oh, and Vic’s italian and that culture is very touchy feely. So guess what? You’re racist by your own logic.

and denounce the women who come forward to accuse him as being liars because this is exactly why women who are victimized by men of such power and popularity tend to NOT come forward with stories of their victimization immediately after it happens. Yes, anyone is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, but that doesn’t mean the accusers should be denounced as liars and demonized for daring to mess with the man - they ought to be shown support and respect IF in the case what they say is true and they really were hurt by that man. If they’re proven liars beyond any doubt, THEN they can be given well deserved scorn. But brushing them off beforehand is Not OK. Especially if it’s with conspiracy theories about how this is some big coordinated feminist effort to tear down a great man and destroy his livelihood, or it’s a retaliation from yaoi fangirls who hate that Vic dares to be anti-yaoi and Conservative in regards to gay people.

And yet you condemn Vic before he is proven to be lying.

Sorry, either condemn yourself or be better.

These assclowns have also constantly resorted to the defense of “Oh, hugging other people and kissing them in places not on the lips totes isn’t sexual harassment”. Totally ignoring the little details of the girls getting the hugs typically being total strangers to Vic outside of being fans of his work who are thus underage girls being touched by a grown man who has absolutely no relation to them, that he might have done the same with female co-workers behind the scenes, and that he has done these things on a whim, without the recipient’s consent and without paying any mind to how it might make them feel.

Also ignoring if they give consent like that time someone tried portraying Vic touching a supposedly underage girl only to BACKFIRE as the womana spoke out in defense of the man.

This has been a consistent pattern of behavior with him,

Consistently unproven.

and allegedly, he’s justified it with saying “silence gives consent.” Like a girl or woman absolutely has to verbally say “no” or tell him outright that he’s making them feel uncomfortable for it to be considered wrong and unwarranted. Basically “a lack of a No makes it a Yes.” I can’t begin to describe how gross that is.

So Vic has to be a fucking MINDREADER or else.

Great to know, especially considering how my own condition would make this shit damn near impossible to see.

The worst part is how these IStandWithVic cultists demonize Monica Rial. A woman who, by her own admission, was a victim of rape as a teenager.

Says the man who demonizes Vic.

A woman who has shown nothing but emotional and intellectual honesty and kindness on social media, who has acknowledged that even Vic and his fans don’t deserve to be harassed and hurt, to the point of stating this:

https://twitter.com/Rialisms/status/1095156641543192576

Funny how she says this TWO DAYS LATER than your picture.

But she’s both painted as a vicious liar who’s out to destroy a good, innocent man’s life and career, and is ALWAYS being written off by these dudes as just “the VA for Bulma.” As though she’s had no other notable roles in her long career of voice acting aside from that one character (as opposed to the oh-so talented, versatile and legendary star that is Vic). As though that character has had only one English VA. As though Monica just plain doesn’t matter when put next to a fellow VA in the industry who happens to be a handsome white, straight/cis, Christian male.

Keep being a bigoted douchebag, I can hear the alt RIght cumming.

And as though Monica had any feasible reason to lie about her experiences with Vic and assassinate his character on social media.

*points at you and your blind defense of her*

the pro-Vic crowd seems to think she’s greedy or jealous or just resentful towards Vic as a person, and is out to get him so that she can get money or respect or more roles or petty revenge or whatever.

Literally change ‘vic’ to ‘monica and that’d describe you.

But if that were really the case, how does that account for the friends and family who support her claims? How does it account for the fellow VAs (Jamie Marchi, Jamie McGonnigal, J. Micahel Tatum, Josh Grelle, Justin Briner, Daman Mills) who’ve all supported her claims and have said “Yeah, Vic’s been like that forever.

‘Get social brownie points’

How does it account for the fans and congoers who have been sharing their stories of uncomfortable experiences and encounters they’ve had with Vic FOR YEARS?

‘Stories’ are not truth.

The deck is NOT stacked in Vic’s favor here, so “he’s successful, popular, funny, friendly, charming, talented and a classic VA who’s so well loved in the anime community” is NOT going to cut it as an assumption of his innocence or a defense for his character.

No, that’s the legal system that says ‘innocent until proven guilty.’

He needs to be held accountable for his misdemeanors against people who gave no consent to being touched, hugged, kissed, stalked, romanced, or squicked out by him.

And yet Monica threatening legal action and Marzgurl making THREATS OF VIOLENCE? A-Ok.

It’s a Michael Jackson type of situation - even if he’s NOT done the things he’s being accused of, that does NOT make his creepy behavior towards underage fangirls excusable or alright.

Funny thing about Micheal Jackson-

The accusations, when you actually pay attention, are complete bullshit. Events don’t line up, accounts vary wildly, facts contradict stories. And yet he STILL suffered until the day he died and BEYOND. So thanks for remindidng why, as much as I hate Yellow Flash, Hero Hei and Nick Riekta-

You idiots are the worse evil.

Tl;dr: I shall from now on be referring to this VA as “Vic Cosby Mignogna.” ‘Cause even if he’s not guilty of the heinous shit that Bill Cosby is guilty of, his case is still all too eerily similar.

#IStandWithMonica

So does that mean if I call Monica ‘Monikkka’- She’s a KKK member now?

Oh wait, you wouldn’t give two shits if the places were reversed would you? For your cry of ‘I’m not an SJW!’- You sure do sound like the fucking strawman it represents.

[mirios-eyes-are-beautiful]

aa So I just woke up to this?

I’m just.. speechless? I can’t believe this actually happened, so thank you all for the last few months, for every like, reblog and comment. It’s been such a pleasure to interact with you and scream about Mirio and The Big Three<3 I hope 2019 won’t bring us too many tears (spoiler: it will.) and we can all laugh about their shenanigans again (spoiler: we won’t.). This blog came alive with crazy good fanart, hilarious memes and sweet headcanons, sprinkled with my neverending affection towards Mirio, so kudos go out to the amazing artists and writers that create the content we love<3 Thank you for over 1k followers and I hope to see the family of mirihoes grow in the progressing year! I’ve received a lot of questions for my milestone special and I only picked out a few, but if you want more of these, let me know! Now let’s dive right into the Q&A!

Heey~ I’m a huge Bnha fan and I love this blog, keep up the great work!! \(^-^)/ I’d love to know how old you are, if that’s not too personal of a question?

Not at all! I’m actually 20 y/o and my Birthday is in June, also my zodiac is Gemini👭

What do you do for a living?

I’m a university student in my second year! I’m majoring in Linguistics and my minor is English Literature and Culture. Though before, I did a year of Environmental Sciences, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea so I quit🤷‍♀️ I’m also part timing at a boutique.

Hello! I check your blog everyday and I can’t with all your reactions, they’re almost always the same as mine:D Which state (USA) are you from and what languages do you speak?

Lol, do I really sound American?:D I’m actually from Germany, so German is my mother tongue! Other than that, I consider myself pretty fluent in English (your assumption of me being a native speaker flatters me so much, you have no idea) and I guess my French is decent. I can order food and ask for directions in Spanish (ayyyy) and studied Hindi for two semesters at Uni. Also I’m currently learning Japanese for my degree in Linguistics.

Do you have a favorite anime show? Other than My hero academia of course!

My all time favorite anime is definitely Arslan Senki! Besides that, I also love Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Assassination Classroom, Durarara, Hunter x Hunter and pretty much every existing sports anime (Haikyuu, Kuroko no Basuke, Daiya no Ace, Free!, Yowapedal, Yuri on Ice, Prince of Tennis,.. although Haikyuu is my favorite) I enjoy most genres as long as the plot and characters appeal to me.

Do you read any manga? (also LOVE YOUR BLOG!!<3)

Yeah! I really love manga and I’ve read tons of shoujo when I was younger (I bingeread every night in middle school tbh) Nowadays though, not so much anymore.. It’s not that I came to hate it, I just don’t have as much time unfortunately-.-’ I do read the new Bnha and Haikyuu chapters on a weekly basis, but I can’t manage more than that. I also read yaoi/shounen-ai manga and doujinshi from time to time, but it’s not as much of an obsession as it was a few years ago. However, I own a couple of manga series (Bnha, Haikyuu, Arslan Senki), which I love to reread in my free time😊

hey, we share a love for mirio, so do you maybe have a few anime recommendations, or any good anime you’re watching now?

uhuhuhu birds of a feather flock together;))) Of course I can dish out some recommendations, but I’ll start with what I’m watching atm. I started rewatching Daiya no Ace not so long ago (due to the announcement of Season 4) so I sometimes watch a few episodes of that when I find the time. Also, and this is a recommendation as well, there’s this new track and field anime called Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru (Run with the Wind) coming out every Friday and it’s hilarious. If you like sports anime, you should definitely give it a go! The last anime I’m rewatching right now is Sukitte Ii na yo (Say I love you), cause I’ve been in a shoujo mood lately and after several years I still can’t deal with the cuteness of this show. Now for recs.. this is hard, since everyone has a different taste in series, but other than the shows I’ve named in the “Favorite anime” question, I’d recommend Wotakoi (Wotaku ga Koi no Muzukashii). It’s a very sweet anime about the love stories of otakus, so if you like a good laugh and lots of fluff, this show is for you (11eps). Same goes for Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun (12eps + 6 short specials). Shounen-wise I enjoyed for example Noragami, Bleach, Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Magi. Shoujo-wise I can always rewatch Toradora, Kimi ni Todoke and Itazura na Kiss. Sorry for rambling, there are just too many!😅

What pronouns do you use? And what’s you sexual orientation? If the latter question is too personal, just ignore it(/ω＼)

No worries! I use she/her pronouns and I’m pan, slightly favoring men. Probably due to the fact that I’ve only had hetero relationships so far. Though, I really don’t care about my partner’s gender🤷‍♀️

hi, i’ve been going through a rough time lately and your reblogs and memes never fail to make my day. how so you stay positive when things are going downhill? (sorry for the weird ask..)

Your question isn’t weird at all! I’m sorry to hear that you don’t feel well lately and I’m glad my posts are able to cheer you up a bit<3 I, for my part, am a very optimistic person and always try to concentrate on the positive things in my life, but I cannot deny that due to my personal problems I’ve spent many nights sleepless as well. Unfortunately, there’s no recipe for happiness, but here are some things you should always keep in mind should you feel down: Don’t surround yourself with toxic people. Don’t let them in your life and if they already are, either ignore them or cut them off. The latter won’t always work, since the world of adulthood is a cruel place, but try to develop a thick skin and don’t let them abuse the power over you that they don’t actually have. Try to talk with people. I can tell from experience that talking about your problems will almost always make you feel better, or at least lighter afterwards. Think positive. There’s never only black and white, so even if everything seems hopeless or bland, you should never cease to search for the good aspects. An example from me: Uni fucks me up real bad atm. I have six exams and one term paper to write this semester and I’m seriously afraid of failing. I’ve always had insane expectations of myself, because when I was a toddler, my parents found out that I was highly talented and that has been a as much of a curse as it is a blessing throughout my entire life. Whenever something gets too much for me and I end up in a slump, I think about how grateful I am to have so many wonderful friends. I think of all the things I plan to do with the money I earn, such as travelling, buying manga, movies, clothes,.. and even if that might not seem like a trivial matter for some people, I think of all the amazing anime coming out this year: Ice Adolescence, One Punch Man Season 2, Attack on Titan Season 3, Fruits Basket remake, Bnha Season 4, Haikyuu Season 4, Daiya no Ace Season 3.. Why am I naming these? Because they keep me going. They give me something to look forward to. They make me realize that I’m extremely grateful to be alive, because I get to experience these works. I get to discuss my favorite shows with people, who share my interests! I get to scream about Mirio’s bara arms with you guys! If that isn’t something to be cheerful about, I don’t know what is<3

And since I don’t want to end this on a solemn note, here’s a personal favorite of mine:

On a scale from 1-10, how much do you love Mirio?^^

1.000.000 (A million, you get it? wink wonk) Thanks for sticking around! Hope this gave you a little insight on who I am and I’d love to spend 2019 with you as well<3

[variabels]

My shit fanfiction to celebrate SSBU

I’m back with a crackfic. It involves Marth getting angry at Roy for not sucking in Ultimate. Also, subscribe to Pewdiepie.

When Marth first joined Smash Bros back in the good old Melee days, he didn't really think much of it at all. He thought it would just be tournaments and boring shit. But it ended up being pretty fun and he made lots of friends. He became BFFs with Roy since they were the only ones capable of speaking Japanese which was pretty shocking to them seeing as how Fox, Falco and Ness had pretty thick Japanese accents.

The duo eventually learned how to speak English but Master Hand said they weren't allowed to speak English during matches. No one knew why Master Hand decided that but most people assumed it was because he was too lazy to explain why they weren't speaking Japanese anymore. Marth and Roy didn't seem to mind that much since it let them beat opposing teams with ease.

Marth would spend most of his time hanging out with Roy and Link who were way shorter than him. He had never been a tall person, but hanging out with shorter people that weren't girls felt pretty satisfying. It was so satisfying that Marth ended up developing a huge ego because of it.

People say that Smash Bros can heavily alter your personality for some unknown reason. The fighters always insist that's not the case. But Marth's living proof of how bad it can affect you.

Despite becoming a huge asshole, Marth still managed to remain best friends with an overly energetic pyromaniac redhead and a blond idiot who enjoyed talking too much outside of matches. The trio had stupid adventures together, they managed to blow up the kitchen, they traumatized Young Link… They basically had a shit ton of fun together.

However, everything changed once Master Hand decided to make a new tournament called Brawl. Because of the size of the mansion, he had to kick out some fighters (all though rumor has it Pichu evolved and killed Pikachu).

Roy had to leave to go to war or something. His dad was sick and his mom had gotten hired as an assist trophy for Brawl, so this only left Roy to lead the army.

Link had to go save Hyrule and was replaced by another Link that was living proof he had gotten laid. The new Link was slightly shorter and more sarcastic than the old one. He was also hotter and there were rumors about him secretly being a furry.

Marth got to stay much to his disappointment and noticed some changes within himself. Of course, he was completely oblivious to the fact that his personality had completely changed. The biggest change he noticed was that he looked prettier. That was only natural of course, he was Marth Lowell, he was prettier and hotter than everyone else.

Marth managed to become friends with the new Link despite the fact that they hated each other and argued all the time. New Link also introduced Marth to his new friends, Pit and Ike. Marth would have introduced himself normally but Master Hand insisted that Marth had to speak Japanese as to not confuse the newcomers.

That didn't quite work out because new Link didn't understand Japanese so he couldn't explain why Pit and Ike got kicked in the face when they called Marth "Miss". Nevertheless, the four men ended up hanging out the whole time. Marth even managed to become best friends with Ike, but that's 'cause they never talked to each other, so they never got pissed off at each other. But to be honest, anything was better than being Link or Pit's best friends. Those midgets were completely insane.

When the new tournament that Master Hand lazily named 4 was about to start, Marth noticed he had changed. The climate had changed his hair color and it was now a different shade of blue. Not that it mattered because he looked prettier.

Among Marth's small group of best friends, Ike was the only one to go through any big changes. The guy had gotten really buff and made his friends look like midgets. Marth thought he looked like one of those ugly bara guys from yaoi manga, not that he had ever read a yaoi manga. He just knew that because of memes.

It was in this new tournament that Marth learned that he had descendants. He was pretty sure those descendants were descendants of another Marth in another universe because there was no way he'd ever leave Smash Bros. He did not want to return to a world where iPhones and showers didn't exist. He also didn't want to live in Altea knowing that there would be no technological advances in the future. He was used to dealing with bullshit, he hung out with Link after all, but that was way too much for even him to handle.

The tournament was being pretty normal like always until the hands decided to announce that more people were going to be joining. Marth honestly couldn't care less about the newcomers but because of his position as a veteran, he was obliged to greet them.

He unenthusiastically greeted Mewtwo, Lucas and Ryu and was about to leave until Link told him he hadn't greeted someone. Marth reluctantly followed Link towards where the last newcomer was. Marth saw a redhead speaking with some other people and was in complete disbelief. There was no way he was back, right? It was all just a dream.

The redhead turned around and smiled when he saw Marth. Marth smiled back and ran towards him. He jumped into the slightly shorter redhead's arms and hugged him as he cried with tears of joy.

"I missed you so much, Roy," the prince sobbed not caring that everyone else was staring, "I'm so glad you're back… Please don't leave me again."

"I won't leave ever again," Roy said as he hugged Marth.

The two BFFs were finally reunited.

Except that's not what actually happened. That was just Roy's fantasy.

The redhead turned around and smiled when he saw Marth. Marth smiled back and ran towards him. Roy also ran and the two separated friends hugged each other.

"What did I miss?" the short redhead asked.

"Not much," Marth replied.

"Did you prank Master Hand and Crazy Hand?"

"Well, someone had to keep your legacy going. Of course, I was the only one qualified to do that."

"Guess it's time to prepare the best one ever."

"Like in the old days?"

"Like in the old days!"

The two BFFs were finally reunited.

Except that didn't happen either. That was just Marth's fantasy.

The redhead turned around and smiled when he saw Marth. Marth smiled back and ran towards him. He was about to jump into Roy's arms but he noticed something wrong. Something very wrong. Something so wrong it made Marth question if going through depression after losing his BFF was really worth it.

"Roy, are you taller than me?"

It took Marth about an hour and lots of yelling to accept the fact that Roy was now the taller one. Neither he nor Roy had ever expected this to happen. Roy had always looked up to Marth and always expected him to be taller than him, and Marth had forgotten that growing up was a thing.

But now, Marth was faced with a new problem. During Roy's absence, he had become best friends with Ike out of convenience more than anything. He didn't expect Roy to ever return and so he hadn't planned on how to explain anything to his two friends.

He was sure the two would hate each other. They didn't have anything in common besides having headbands, a growth spurt and finding mages cool. Marth was having a mental breakdown thinking about what would happen if the two ever met.

Everyone stared at the prince but didn't think anything, Marth having mental breakdowns was something normal in the Smash Mansion. Master Hand had even made it mandatory for veterans to explain to newcomers that Marth having a mental breakdown was nothing to be worried about.

One mental breakdown later, Marth had a plan. Now that Roy was back, he wasn't the best planner of his friend group anymore, but that didn't matter, because unlike Link, Pit and Ike, he could at least plan shit. Emphasis on the shit.

He was about to set his plan in motion when he saw Roy and Ike speaking. Marth was mentally screaming, his plan had been ruined before it even started.

He calmed himself down and walked towards his two friends. He attempted to hide his death glare but to no avail. His two friends didn't know what was pissing Marth off and were getting worried.

"Marth, are you alright?" Ike asked.

"If it's about the height thing, I'll apologize again," Roy added.

"Did the height thing really piss him off?"

"Yeah… We ended up arguing for an hour. Felt like the good old days."

"And here, I thought Marth and Link were bad… Those two argue at least for half an hour every day."

"Really? I guess Marth needed to make up for all the arguing he was missing."

"Well, it only started getting that bad at the start of this tournament. He seemed depressed during Brawl."

"Poor Marth, he must miss his home. That must be why he wears his tiara all the time!"

"I thought he was just girly."

"That too."

Marth stared at his two friends with shock. They hadn't even known each other for a day and they were already getting along like they were best friends. Heck, they were already shitting on him. This pissed off Marth even more, they were supposed to be his best friends, not each other's.

Marth ended up having to go to Mewtwo's anger management class after threatening to set Roy and Ike on fire. No one was allowed to question why Mewtwo was in charge of that class, all the fighters knew was that Crazy Hand had come up with the idea and the class somehow worked. Most people assumed the classes were just brainwashing sessions since everyone who attended reported being bored or asleep during the whole class.

By the time the Ultimate tournament had finished being planned, the stupid friendship problems had been solved.

Marth happily walked down the hallway with a paper in his hand. He was really excited to show the paper to Roy. The redhead might now be taller and hotter than him, but at least he didn't have the right to speak English during-

"No, way!" Roy smiled as he ran towards his best friend with a paper in his hand, "You're allowed to speak English too? This is awesome! Now we can finally team up with more people than just Cloud!"

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah! All though, poor Cloud… Master Hand won't let him speak English despite him being completely fluent in it."

"Is that all you want to tell me?"

"No, there's more. You know how Master Hand is letting us be the personal trainers of certain fighters?"

"Yeah, like me training Lucina. What about it?"

"Master Hand made me Chrom's personal trainer! Ike also helps out from time to time."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Marth shouted instantly ruining all of his anger management class's progress.

Roy didn't know why Marth was so angry. Maybe he hated Chrom? Maybe he was tired of having to deal with his ancestors? Maybe he didn't like the idea of having to see Chrom and Robin make out all the time? Roy had absolutely no idea what was pissing off the blue-haired prince.

Marth excused himself to go to the bathroom. He locked the door and looked at himself in the mirror. He was the most beautiful he had ever been. That was the problem, he was getting girlier with age. Roy had gotten buffer and stronger. While he wasn't the best fighter of the lot, he kept improving with all his training. Marth, on the other hand, was doing worse with every tournament. He had been among the top 3 during Melee, he was always among the top 10 in Brawl, but in 4, he only managed to be in the top 10 once.

He couldn't stay angry at Roy forever. He needed to do something about this. So, swallowing all of his pride, he asked Roy a question he had never wanted to ask.

"C-can I train with you?"

"Like a training match?"

"N-no… Actual training, like working out and stuff."

If Roy hadn't been so used to Marth always being weird, he would have called Mewtwo or a psychologist. Heck, he might have even warned everyone about an upcoming apocalypse.

Marth and Roy went to the training room where they met up with Ike. They worked hard to come up with a plan. After an hour of planning, Roy managed to create a training schedule that worked for everyone.

The trio decided to not waste any time and they got down to business. The first thing to do was warm-ups. This meant a hundred push-ups, something that should be easy for well-trained men.

Ike had no trouble finishing his push-ups since he was basically a walking pile of muscle. Roy finished soon after. Marth was the only one left. He never did push-ups, why would he need to do them?

Marth was about to rant but decided against it when he noticed he was being glared at. He did his best to do more push-ups and after complaining and suffering for what appeared to be an eternity, he had finished.

Marth collapsed and sighed in relief, he was finally done with the stupid push-ups. The next warm-up exercise was a hundred sit-ups. Marth had always found sit-ups to be pretty easy despite not having done any for over a year.

The prince learned the hard way that slacking off on sit-ups was a pretty bad idea. He had done about ten before realizing he was doing the exercise wrong and hurting his neck. Marth couldn't remember how he was supposed to do sit-ups and he couldn't look at what Roy and Ike were doing because they had already finished. Marth was left with no option but to continue the exercise even though he wasn't even doing it correctly.

Luckily for Marth's neck, his friends noticed he was doing the exercise wrong and showed him how to do it right. However, there a new problem arose: doing sit-ups quickly really hurts, like a lot. So after another eternity of pain, Marth collapsed.

After a morning filled with Marth suffering and his friends doing practically nothing, it was Ike's favorite time of the day, lunchtime.

The cafeteria was pretty empty since some of the fighters had left for a quick vacation.

After getting their food, the trio sat at their unusually empty table. Ike devoured his meat without a care in the world. Why he didn't have an ending with meat in Radiant Dawn was beyond anyone.

"Marth, don't you ever grow tired of eating salad every day?" Ike asked.

"Don't you ever grow tired of eating meat every day? It's not even that good for you."

"Well, unless I won the genetic lottery, I'm proof that it's better than salad."

"I think we're going to have to work on your diet," Roy told Marth, "You barely eat anything, that's not good for you. And whenever you eat, it's something that's mostly water with little to no nutritional value."

"What are you talking about!?" Marth snapped, "Salad's good for you!"

"So, how come you're completely out of shape now?"

"What!? I'm perfectly healthy! I'm just rusty."

"Marth, you're at your absolute worst right now. You used to be a complete badass back in Melee. Now you're all insane and girly."

"Speaking of Melee, you're making me miss your old-self. He didn't act like he was the voice of reason in every argument."

"You're the one starting all of our arguments!"

"And I wouldn't start them if you didn't make me start them!"

Ike quietly took his food and walked towards Kirby's table. He had no interest in having his meal ruined by Marth and Roy's obligatory daily argument. Ike ate with Kirby and the two happily ignored the smell of smoke as they ate their food.

The mercenary noticed he didn't have any sauce left and got up ready to get more. He didn't get far because the cafeteria was on fire. Ike went back to the table, sat down feeling grumpy and waited for somebody to come and save him.

'Kirby must be so lucky having sane friends,' Ike thought as he looked at the pink puff.

'I wish I had cool insane friends,' Kirby thought as he stared at the fire with fascination.

It took thirty minutes for somebody to come and save them because Crazy Hand had turned off all the fire alarms because he was tired of hearing the ringing sound every day.

Kirby was taking a nap on Ike's lap as the blue-haired teenager tried to sleep through a bunch of arguments. Seriously, why did he have to attend the hands' meeting with his crazy friends? He wasn't the one who set the cafeteria on fire.

"We've had enough of your petty arguments," Master Hand groaned, "We've let them slide for way too long."

"Actually, I find them to be pretty cute," Crazy Hand admitted, "You don't get many people who regularly set the mansion on fire for stupid reasons."

"Crazy! Don't you know how much money we've lost because of their fights!? We won't be able to afford reconstructions with over 70 fighters to take care of!"

"We can make a reality show to make more money! Or we could organize promotional mini-tournaments!"

"Good idea!" Master Hand paused to think for a moment, "Who should we choose for the tournaments?"

"Roy, I want you to participate in the tournaments."

"Me?" the redhead gasped, "Why?"

"I've got a good feeling about you participating."

Roy and some other fighters ended up leaving for a week to compete in promotional tournaments. Roy being absent from the mansion meant that Marth didn't have to train because Ike was not going through the horror that is training Marth by himself and to be honest he really didn't care about Marth's training. Link had offered to help, but everyone was sure he just wanted to blackmail Marth. Link never helped Marth out of the kindness of his heart unless it was something really really really serious.

The week at the mansion was really uneventful. It didn't help that Kirby was in charge and all he cared about was getting food. He had even turned off the WiFi so that people wouldn't get distracted. This meant that no one could watch the tournaments because the 3G and 4G were absolute shit in the area.

Marth was hanging out in the entrance hall with Link, Ike and Pit playing a boring game of UNO. He was about to win but a gust of wind had blown his good cards away which got mixed up with Pit's bad cards. They randomly chose cards and Pit ended up getting the best ones thus leading him to victory.

The Altean was pretty pissed off by his loss, he was about to storm out of the mansion but the door was slammed into him. He ended up falling on top of Link who had been planning on pushing Marth.

"We're back!" Crazy Hand announced full of glee as all the other fighters made their way in.

"Hey, guys!" Roy greeted his friends on the floor, "What did I miss?"

"Me winning at UNO!" Pit cheered.

"Not having WiFi," Link answered.

"So, how did the tournament go?" Marth asked, "We didn't get to see it."

"It went..." Roy started as he took out two objects from his suitcase, "Great!"

Marth stared at the two gold trophies with disbelief. They both had a red ribbon with "Winner" written on it. Marth had to be dreaming, there was no way Roy would win a tournament, let alone two. Roy, win and tournament did not belong in the same sentence.

"Are you done staring at your reflection?" Roy asked his best friend.

"Yes..."

Marth rushed to the toilets and his friends just stared blankly at the space where Marth once stood.

"He's so proud of you that he's gone to cry in the bathroom," Ike told Roy, "He must be too embarrassed to tell you."

"W-what!? That doesn't sound like Marth at all! He never thinks anything nice about me."

It took all of Marth's will for him to not punch the mirror. He was completely pissed off, he wanted to beat someone up to get rid of his anger. This was the last straw. Roy was tall, cool, smart… And now he was a great fighter. He was everything Marth used to be back in the Melee days.

This made Marth feel like he had been betrayed, he always thought he'd be the best fighter of the two, but Roy was catching up just like he always did. Marth would never admit it, but he was envious of the redhead, everything seemed to be going in his favor.

The prince wanted to cry in frustration. He stared at his face on the mirror and remembered what he used to look like when he was younger. Those were the good old days…

Marth could have stayed in the bathroom reminiscing about the past, but he couldn't just sit around doing nothing. He might not be able to grow taller or get smarter, but he could still be a better fighter. It wasn't as though Roy was a better fighter than him, they hadn't fought for quite a while. But if Marth continued slacking off, there was no doubt that Roy would end up way better.

"And then my mom was all like "Eliwood! Don't call our son Ike, let Mark na-" Roy said before feeling someone pull his arm.

"We're going to go train," Marth announced as he dragged the redhead behind him.

"Sorry, I'll finish telling you guys the story later," Roy apologized.

The two swordsmen left leaving their friends in an awkward silence.

"Wow, Marth really wants Roy to be the best he's ever been," Ike noted only for Link to tell him that was definitely not the case.

Marth and Roy were standing in front of the training room trying to come up with an excuse for why they couldn't train Lucina and Chrom. They knew the two were waiting inside for a training session that would never come. But if Master Hand heard about Marth and Roy skipping a training session, he'd be furious and he was already on to them.

Luckily, Ike happened to walk by. He wanted to check on his friends to see what they were doing. In hindsight, it turned out to be a horrible idea.

The two shorter swordsmen had somehow convinced him into helping them train Chrom and Lucina. When they all entered the training room, Marth announced that Chrom and Lucina would be fighting against him and Roy in a few days and to make the training match more challenging, Chrom and Lucina would be training with Ike. Now Ike was stuck training Chrom and Lucina for the rest of the day. He really needed to get better friends to fight for.

Somehow, the excuse worked so well that when Master Hand heard about it, he thought it was a great idea and decided that Ike would train Chrom and Lucina for a week. This meant that Marth had one week to get back into shape and reclaim his position as the best swordsman in Smash Bros (which would now be even easier because Cloud had been banned from the training room by Crazy Hand).

Marth and Roy found an old empty training room and decided to train there. They spent their whole time practicing, working out and making sure to play FEH every thirty minutes. They trained so much that they accidentally skipped lunch (not that was abnormal for Marth).

By the end of the day, the two swordsmen were exhausted and lying on the floor taking a rest. They hadn't worked out so much in ages yet it felt like they had only trained for an hour. Time really did fly when you were busy.

"You think we'll be able to beat them next week?" Roy asked Marth.

"We will win. We've gotta show them we're the best."

"I guess, there's no way we'll lose with you on the team."

"Hey, did we eat lunch?"

"Shit, we skipped it! What time is it?"

"N-nine pm… The cafeteria closes in half an hour."

"If we save our showers for after dinner, we'll be able to get something to eat."

The two friends rushed to the cafeteria where they saw Ike eating a huge bowl full of meat. He seemed pretty pissed off so Marth and Roy decided to avoid him. They went to get their food which they only got after Marth yelled at Mario to give him exactly the same meal as Roy.

After dinner, the two argued for an hour over who got to take a shower first. By that time, Ike had already taken his and prepared himself to go to bed. Since he was not going to deal with his roommates' stupid arguing, he decided to stuff his ears with toilet paper. If there was one thing Ike loved almost as much as food, it was sleeping. Maybe he should tell Lucina and Chrom that napping was an effective way to train? They believed him when he said that if they ate his vegetables and gave him their meat, they'd get stronger.

The week continued that way. Marth and Roy would train the whole day, accidentally skipping lunch, while Ike contemplated his sanity the whole time. Master Hand was extremely satisfied with how things were going. It was the most peaceful week there had been in ages. Last time it was this peaceful was when he forced everyone to take vacations back in the first tournament.

Right before the epic fight, Marth and Roy were preparing their battle plan which consisted of tricking Chrom into running into a fully charged flare blade. That trick always worked on newcomers and people who didn't know Roy. But Chrom knew Roy since the redhead had trained him. However, Chrom wasn't known for his brains, so there was a pretty big chance he'd fall for that trick. Lucina had already fallen for it once, but she didn't inherit her mom's brain, so yeah. The plan was foolproof.

"You know, there's only one thing that could make this battle even cooler," Marth told his best friend.

Roy wasn't sure what Marth was talking about. How could there be anything cooler than a one-hit KO within the first few seconds of the match?

"Last Surprise from Persona 5 playing once Chrom gets knocked out!"

"But would we even be allowed to play Persona 5 music?"

"If the knockout happens, I'll gladly play it," a familiar voice said from behind.

"I-it's the announcer!" Marth gasped as he turned around to see the announcer, "What are you doing here? I thought you never showed yourself. And… Why are you hiding behind a cloak that conveniently makes your face pitch black?"

"I guess I can tell you since my true identity will soon be known to all."

The announcer took off the cloak and revealed his true form. He was a teenager with black hair and gray eyes that turned red for epic moments.

"You're Joker from Persona 5!" Marth yelled, "That's so cool!"

"N-no way!" Roy stuttered, "Joker has been the announcer all this time!"

"I'm also you in Japanese."

"No, I'm you in Japanese."

"Guys, the match is about to start!" Marth alerted his friends, "We've got to hurry! Joker, make sure Last Surprise plays no matter what!"

Marth and Roy headed to stage. Since they wanted an epic and fair battle against Chrom and Lucina, they had chosen to fight on final destination with no items (sadly no Fox, so they went with one stock only). Chrom and Lucina were really excited for their battle against their trainers who they didn't know were excited to beat the shit out of them.

When the match started, Roy immediately started charging the Binding Blade while Marth kept Lucina away. Chrom was going to attack Roy but then he saw Lucina being attacked by Marth and his dad instincts popped out.

Chrom tried attacking Marth, but Marth was two steps ahead and managed to dodge every attack. Marth knew it wouldn't be long until Roy had finished charging his attack. So, he grabbed Lucina and threw her in Roy's direction making sure that she went right above him.

Chrom's dad instincts meant he had to make sure Lucina didn't hurt herself, so he ran in Roy's direction. He was so focused on his daughter that he didn't notice that he was running straight into a trap.

By the time Chrom had noticed the trap, he was already flying through the air with lots of burns while Last Surprise played in the background. Now that he thought about it, the music really fit the situation. Not bad, he thought.

Lucina wasn't having nice thoughts though. She hadn't noticed it before, but Ike had been sitting holding a large panel with Link and Pit that said: "Go Marth and Roy!". She didn't know whether to think Ike was a dick or whether to think he was a nice guy for supporting his friends. But none of that matter, she was completely screwed.

The last thing she remembered from the match was seeing sadistic smiles on her two opponents. The Hero-King and his best friend really were huge assholes sometimes.

"We won!" Marth smiled, "We didn't even get any damage!"

"We've got to celebrate this! We should go eat in town with all our friends."

"Yeah! But before that… I want to tell you something..."

All right, this was it. Marth had to say one of the most embarrassing things he could say. Roy would probably lose all respect for him, but that didn't matter.

"T-thanks for helping me."

"Y-you're thanking me?"

"Y-yeah, you helped me see the light. I probably would have ended up sucking ass if you hadn't let me train with you."

"What!? Marth, you're one of the best fighters I know. I'm sure you would have managed to become great again regardless of my help. I'm nothing compared to you."

"Roy, you've improved so much since Melee. You aren't nothing compared to me."

"Yes, I am!"

"No, you're not!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

The duo ended up arguing for an hour like always. If you asked Master Hand, he'd tell you that they should just settle their differences with a fight on final destination. That was the whole point of the tournament, fighting.

Marth, Roy and their whole group of friends decided to have dinner at the best restaurant in town which had been recommended by Kirby. Everyone was chatting, having fun and enjoying the delicious food. The food was so good it made Pit cry.

"You know, I think I learned something today," Marth told Roy, "Me being jealous of you was pretty stupid."

"You, being jealous of me?" Roy smiled as he tried hiding his laughter, "I can see why it was stupid. I'm pretty shit."

"What!? That's not true! Why would I be jealous of shit? Anyways, I've thought about it. You're taller now and I guess that won't be changing."

"You were upset because I was taller than you?"

"Shut up! Now, where was I… Right! I have no reason being upset at you for being taller because in the end, there will always be someone shorter than me."

"Oh, I see where you're getting at. No matter what happens, Link will always be there to be shorter than us!"

Link glared at the two FE lords he called his friends. Oh, well… At least, Pit was there to be shorter than him.

Everyone walked home. Some were in a rush to get back home, weirdly Marth wasn't among them for once. He was enjoying a walk with his four closest friends despite the cold temperature outside.

"Do you guys think we'll always be best friends?" the blue-haired prince asked.

"Seeing as how we argue over everything, do the stupidest shit together and are all still friends, I think the answer is yes," Link answered.

"You don't think something will ever ruin our friendship?"

"Nothing could ruin us!" Pit cheered, "We're best friends till the end!"

"I can think of one thing," Ike admitted.

"Ike's right!" Roy agreed, "Only one thing could ruin our friendship. Is anyone here subscribed to T-Series?"

Complete silence.

"Good! We're all nine-year-olds with bonus years, right?"

"Of course, we are!" Marth yelled, "We watch Pewdiepie every day and do our part by threatening to kill random strangers if they don't subscribe to Pewdiepie!"

"So, there's nothing to be worried about. I guess you were wrong, Ike."

"Whatever," the mercenary, "Let's just go listen to Bitch Lasagna for an hour while eating dessert."

In the end, the five friends ended up doing just as Ike said. Although, Crazy Hand did join the group for an hour before being kicked out when Pit noticed there was a lasagna in the room.

[sonnets-and-snowdrops]

Ha ha, I love the idea for Shunsui's birthday! So, a more serious question: Do you think, Shunsui is such a womanizer/ chasing after skirts, because he got his heart broken once and since then isn't seeking any serious relationship anymore? And if I'm allowed a 2nd question: Do you think, "The rose-coloured path" could be (semi-)autobiographical? Have fun!

Ahhhh, thank you! It kinda suits him, right? I like to thinkhe’d be proud of me. (Maybe.)

I think Shunsui chases ladies for a few different reasons.For one thing, I read Shunsui as a fairly sexual person. He’s constantly stressed,and secretly Sad™, and he doesn’t particularly like violence, so sex is agood way for a guy like him to blow off steam. I also headcanon Shunsui to bevery, very, very bisexual – and,honestly, calling it a headcanon might even be pushing things a little. Thereare cues all over the place, if you look for them – his character designaggressively incorporates trademark aspects of the conventionally masculine (he’svery tall, he has stubble and visible chest hair, etc.) and the conventionallyfeminine (his choice to wear thekimono and the hair pins rather than commemorate them some other way, hisrandom-ass aqua sash, his interest in – uh, fashion…? – which is a conclusion Idraw based on the presence of his hat, his long hair, etc.). And then, of course,there’s the fact that he wields two swords – there’s a euphemisim in there, bythe way – and there are other tiny, subtle moments in the manga, if you lookfor them. (His fight with Starrk strikes me as particularly coded – there’s amoment where he switches his grip in the midst of his verbal flirtationsnegotiations, for example. Which makes me wonder, actually, whether any of thatshows up in the Lille fight – I mean, probablynot, because the focus of that fight is very much elsewhere, but it’s theonly other time in canon where we get to see Shunsui engage in a seriousshowdown with a male-presenting opponent. I mean – except for his and Juu-chan’sfight with Yama-jii at the end of the Soul Society arc, but like – ugh. I hopeto the gods that Shunsui isn’t somehowcoming onto Old Man Yama there. Ugh. Ughhhhhh.)

…aaaaanyway. I digress. I take it for granted that Shunsuiis interested in men, and women, and everyone in between. Shunsui likes sex,and he’s never felt the need to discriminate, gender-wise. My guess is that hefinds chasing guys less interesting than chasing girls – girls tend to screamand squeal and get grossed out, and that’s more entertaining than coming onto amaybe-not-quite-out-of-the-closet Fourth Seat or whatever who might just blushand get all genuinely embarrassed. Shunsui lives for drama and big gestures,and he really does try to find fun where he can – as difficult as that might befor him. Chasing girls provides him with that fun, and on the rare occasionswhen he’s actually successful, it provides him with sex, too. Win-win for goodol’ Shun, amirite?

To answer your question more directly, though, I think it’spossible that Shun has experienced heartbreak, yes. It’s difficult for me to delveinto specifics there, because ShunUki is my hardcore, ride-or-die OTP, and it’sclear to me that Shunsui and Ukitake are still on excellent terms in canon,whether or not they do, in fact, have a romantic and/or sexual relationship.That said – I suspect that a guy like Shunsui has a hard time settling down andfinding satisfaction anywhere. He’s a big flirt, and he’s restless. Also, helikes games. Skirt-chasing checks a lot of boxes for a guy like that – and thefact that there’s no commitment required probably makes him feel a littlebetter about the whole endeavor, too.

And of course you’reallowed a second question, my friend! You’re allowed as many questions as youwant!

The short answer is: uh, yeah. Yes, I think that is extremely likely.

For those who don’t know, The Rose-Colored Path is a ridiculously unpopular romance novelthat Shunsui has published (in installments?? I assume?? Is this confirmedanywhere??) in the SeireiteiCommunication. (Which – side note – I highkey love that Shunsui tries to write the Great Soul Society RomanceNovel and fails miserably, whereas Ukitake occasionally bangs out chapters of akids’ adventure story when he can, and it alwayssoars to the top of the charts. Like. These two. Are so complementary. Andit makes my heart so happy.) (Also I’m a sucker for dumb pieces of trivia aboutmy faves.)

We don’t actually have many details about what The Rose-Colored Path contains, but, uh –y’know when you filter the tags on AO3 because you’re desperate for literallyanything about a ship you like (note: this especially applies if it’s a rarepairLOLOLOLOLOL I’m not at ALL kidding tho), and you feel a little frisky and eventuallydecide to read only the “E” rated fics, and you open like 42375734 tabs andperuse everything and hope for the gods-damned best, only to find phrases like “quiveringdigit” and “love tunnel” and very poor pronoun distribution if the ship inquestion is yaoi/yuri?

All this to say – to me, TheRose-Colored Path is a like a fic that has the worst hits-to-kudos ratioever. Shunsui might well be drawing on his personal experiences here, but myguess is that it isn’t the content that turns his readership off – it’s theexecution. Because let’s be real, Shunsui thinks he’s hot shit in bed. And ifhe’s hot shit in bed, then surely, surely,he can write a killer romance novel. Right? Right…?

Evidently not. Sorry, Shunsui. But hey, at least you tried…?

Ask me about myShunsui headcanons!

I’m not drunk yet but I will be soon~

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Komahina

Ship Rates

NOTP || Just no || Meh || Neutral || Good Potential || Ship it || OTP || JUST FUCK ALREADY  

I spoke about this one a while ago, but there are a lot of new people since then, and I’ve refined some of my earlier points, so… *cracks knuckles*

 First of all, promise you’ll read to the end, guys. I’m not trying to hate on the ship – but I will say that it doesn’t deserve to be the go-to ship for the fandom. AAHH OKAY BEFORE YOU KILL ME, it’s not because because I think it’s worse than that. It’s because I think it’s better. 

 Komahina is treated like this inevitable thing because, to some degree, canon implies it. That ofc, the two main men, all but confirmed super duper not straight, should wind up together. But if that’s your view then, in my humble opinion, you’re missing the point. 

 I don’t base how I feel about this ship off their main character/s status, and only a very little in part off that confession scene. I think that rushing these two into a relationship misses the whole entire mark of what this could grow to be. Grow, being the key word here. 

 I don’t think we can dump these two in any old coffee shop, and expect a beautiful romance to blossom. While the attraction is there, it’s not the driving force between them. At first, it’s all about understanding and identity. Hajime just doesn’t get Nagito, but he wants to. It’s not inherently romantic, but it’s a valuable emotion nonetheless. But Nagito also frustrates him to no end, (and so say all of us). This ultimately drives Hajime to do some pretty nasty things to him. Such as abandoning him in the beginning of the second chapter, tied up and unable to eat. I’ve spoken before about how much I hated that punishment, but that was the icing on this very bitter cake for me. Also, abandoning him again during the Despair Disease thing, when Nagito said, in the only way the disease would let him, that he wanted Hajime there. Just because he said some things Haji didn’t like. Despite…having the liar’s disease. Come on, Hajime. You’re smarter than this.

 Oh, but don’t think our protag is the only idiot in this scenario. What draws Nagito to Hajime is the fact that he feels like they are very similar, which is both a compliment and an insult. It’s implied multiple times that Nagito has a way of sensing talent, so it’s very possible he sensed from the beginning that Hajime had none. In fact, he says as much outright. Being (in his own mind) an untalented nobody around wonderful, untouchable talented Ultimates is incredible for him, but also exhausting. He wants to establish some kind of interpersonal connection, and along comes someone who is actually on his level, and seems to make an effort with him. For Nagito, that’s mind-blowing. And somewhere along the line - and here, we have the best thing about this whole damn ship that everybody misses - that became more important than talent. At the end of the OVA, when Nagito wakes up, we have that adorable parallel of Haji standing over him, just like Nagito at the beginning of DR2. And Nagito recognises Izuru first - but then corrects himself to Hajime. And thereafter, despite Hajime claiming that he is both Hajime and Izuru, Nagito continues to acknowledge Hajime over, oh, the LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF TALENT. I could write a whole other post on that. In fact, I may have.

 But I digress, because Nagito pulled his fair share of bullshit, too. Aside from literally trying to kill everybody, and providing on a silver platter an opportunity for Teru to begin the killings, knowing he was the most vulnerable - Nagito repeatedly shows instances of not quite getting how his words can hurt. Which, by itself isn’t his fault, but he also shows no remorse or desire to change it, either. He’s constantly putting the consequences of his own beliefs on others, and Hajime often cops the brunt of it. You know, Protag Privilege. And pardon my own personal headcanons, but I feel as if, after the whole Neo World thing is over, Nagito will ultimately take out a lot of his guilt and frustration on Hajime, too. Who better, than the Reserve Course nobody who did what he never could, surpassed Nagito himself, who may be trash but still technically has a talent, became Ultimate Hope, survived until the end, thrived, and wasn’t drawn in to Monokuma’s trickery like he was? 

 So, yeah. This isn’t exactly what you’d call a natural relationship. Like I said in the last one of these, I’m a sucker for ships that come from individuals improving themselves personally, whether that improvement is inspired by the ship itself or not, and coming together to make a great couple. I think that a lot of their issues come from the same place of low self worth, abandonment issues, and generally just feeling like the scum of the earth. They could do one another wonders, but as we’ve seen, they can also do one another a good disservice. This isn’t an effortless ship, and it’s not a given. The attraction is there, but they would need to sort out their personal issues, and the roadblocks between them, in order to forge a functioning, healthy relationship. Attraction is good for a one-shot or two, but realistically, it can’t see a relationship through the long term. And Danganronpa is nothing if not realistic, amiright. (That was sarcasm, in case you missed it.) However, assuming they can work together and work on themselves, I do believe there is so much good they can give each other, and so much happiness they can find together. 

 This got longer than I meant for, so tl;dr: Komahina make a better, believable, genuine couple with faults and pitfalls than they do a yaoi doujin. Give the ship some credit. 

[ameliaandfriends]

Some T&T and TWTP things

Somehow I checked the TV Tropes page for The Witches’ Tea Party (and Trick & Treat), wow some player(s) have spent a lot of time for these...I’m grateful X’D

I just can’t help feeling a bit awkward shy but also very happy^^ to read all of them. It’s fun and with a looot of details. It’s also interesting to see how players see the games and characters! X’D

A very long post about the characters and related stuff! (Mostly Rich, John and Mirabell ;)

Anyway, I saw this on the Steam guides as well --- suggesting Rich and John were the two robber/murderers in the newsclip, and maybe they’ve murdered some girls who rejected Rich. However, actually, (I think I wrote that in the Art Book), it’s simply a piece of writing to give you a dangerous atmosphere, and its true author is --- Rich, who loves detective novels and thrillers and tries to write his own during his lonely peaceful life XDDDD

The robber brothers are actually the talking book and the black book, one is talktive and the other is deadly. I’m sorry it’s too vague to be noticed! (Clearly players care more about John and Rich hahaha).

And John and Rich never murdered anyone, if you’d like to know.

Also it’s said in quite a few places that Mirabell is a genderbent Richard...Well, I’d say the only similarity is that both want true love, oh, and being Sheltered Aristocrats, but the “aristocrat” side for Mirabell is not really an important thing. Even if she’s a poor girl she’s still that kind of person who falls for men’s sweet words and end up in poisonous relationship X’D (But Rich’s unfortunate life is a result of him being a prince).

The most important fact is that those two are just not the same as a person, at all X’DDD Rich is a sweetheart, still having his pure heart even when turned a monster, while Mira is waaaayyy much more broken and fierce: she killed Ernest before she trade her soul, not after...And after becoming a witch, she fell for darkness even more, yeah, look at her room.

But anyway, I think those two can get along...I used to play Tomodachi Life with my characters and they almost ended up together X’D (Vanessa and Rich also get along very well...)

Oh Rich is definetly not seeking for death. he’s not desperate as well. He won’t miss a chance but he can wait ; ) He’s kinda accepting himself (while John has accpeted almost immediately). He’s just not afraid of death, and still thinks true love is precious, but I think now he can get it that love (maybe as well appearance) is not everything. He has been a lonely and happy nerd and will be happier, less lonely (and probably nerdier) with his friends. 

If you’ve get tired of characters (especially sheltered aristocrats) longing/broken for love...I apologize and have to warn you: there’re maybe more in the future : )

Romance is just an important topic to me and sorry the worlds in my games are like in Grimms' Fairy Tales full of prince and princess. 

Charlotte’s attitude towards Rich is not really because of he reminds her of Mirabell and feels impatient with all these “love” things. She’s just not really ready for a relationship yet. They have the red strings tied to their pinky fingers --- but anyway, it’s Charlotte, maybe she doesn’t care for the fate thing. It’s still uncertain, not yet the time!

Possiblity, that what I like about games. Don’t let canons limit you : )

It’s also fun to know that there’re players shipping John/Rich, yeah I know they’re could be a sweet couple! The reason behind John’s word is pretty simple: I just don’t want using yaoi as a way to attract attention. I have many yaoi ships myself and won’t against any yaoi ships for my games. If you ship Johh/Rich just consider he was lying to tease Rich ;)

Maybe they’ll comfess their love somewhere none of us know! If they play Legally Blonde John is definetely the “Gay or European” guy hahaha.

Oh and I think most of the players think John is the good guy! That’s great...Btw, in the fantasy world, John is a hunter. He’s more cunning and more like a leader because of his age and experience...anyway I like him with a bit mystery/evil hidden behind the smile. While Rich is still your old sweet crybaby.

Hope I can present you more of the stories with more games! Yeah they’ll be in the new RPG The Airi’s Adventure, but it’s completely an AU where everything is not related to this world.

Airi is from this world, fyi. The time is before T&T.

Anyway, I’m so happy there’re people like the games and spent their time writing about these little games! Just feel free to talk about them with me if you wanna XD I’m glad and grateful!

[zhanxixis]

okay wow zhanyi were so cute and I loved that jian yi's clothes fit zhan perfectly ~just adorable. but god i'm praying jian yi doesn't joke around and truthfully answers zhan. for both zhan's sanity and my own haha.

I will never get over the fact that zhan actually wore his clothes, I mean it was pretty much the whole fandom’s headcanon but when it happened I was still shook. jian yi has borrowed a few of zhan’s stuff in the past [when he slept over and the time when he was sick] so I was happy to finally see zhan wear something of his. pretty damn sure he still has that sweater and jacket zhan gave to him.. it’s his now, he’s never giving it back. I also find it so adorable that zhan fits in jian yi’s clothes perfectly. these boys sharing clothes is what I live for.

as for jian yi’s answer, it definitely a fear of mine too.. I mean I don’t know what will happen — I’m not old xian nor do I get visions of future updates, but I do believe that there is a chance that jian yi will answer truthfully. idk if this will bring any comfort to you but this is why I think there is at least some chance he won’t joke around/lie.

old xian has really created this scene in a way that it would be really difficult to make jian yi’s answer be a joke to begin with. like I mean the atmosphere old xian has set us up for seems like there will be no joking around and even seems like ox actively tries to show it throughout the chapters/scene.

1.) in the last chapter, after jian yi already tries joking around by flashing himself, zhan tells jian yi to ‘talk seriously, understand?’. jian yi actually agrees and says “understood”; zhan has always been very patient and cautious with jian yi, careful not to push him too much but naturally, he’s also really curious and wants some answers to his burning questions, especially after nearly losing jian yi and not knowing what the hell happened to him. this is the first instance where jian yi affirms to zhan that he will be serious.

2.) another thing is jian yi begins to wonder if zhan is annoyed with him, probably from when he wasn’t taking their conversation earlier very seriously… and he doesn’t want to annoy zhan, so as soon as he heads to bed and tackles zhan who tells him to ‘stop playing’, he seems to pull himself together. he even initiates the previous conversation they were having himself, instead of trying to avoid it and be like ‘so yeah let’s just go to sleep’, showing again for the second time that he is willing to be serious.

3.) jian yi says “didn’t you say you have questions to ask me? I’ll answer all of them seriously.” ; so jian yi very explicitly says ‘all’.. ‘all’ of his questions, not ‘i’ll only answer the questions i’m comfortable with seriously’.. he is again affirming to zhan that he will not be joking around. this is the third instance where we see him willing/trying to be serious.  [also slightly off topic but I feel it is important to explain: I have seen some people who seem to be confused, saying zhan only said he was going to ask about the kidnapping but he didn’t, he never said he was going to ask only about the kidnapping; in fact he very explicitly says “I have a lot of things I want to talk with you about..” and as I said in this post, ‘a lot of things’ is pretty general.. there are no promises anywhere that the talk/questions would only be about the kidnapping]. jian yi, of course, probably thought zhan was going to continue their conversation about the kidnapping and ask more about that, but again, zhan never specified on all the things he wanted to talk about. 

after jian yi says that, zhan actually pauses for a while as implied by the “……”. zhan’s eyes are looking down, away from jian yi and his face looks troubled - seeming to contemplate how to even bring the topic up. jian yi seems to notice this, and although zhan isn’t watching him yet, seems to give him an encouraging smile so that he isn’t afraid to ask whatever it is that he wants.

[okay lowkey off topic again but: these panels kill me. the way he is staring at jian yi, especially the last panel..  ~ugh.]

zhan slowly begins to look up and his eyes meet jian yi’s.. he’s hesitant and nervous and says jian yi’s name in a soft tone.. probably cautious given the atmosphere. the last panel is where we see a sudden change in the look of zhan’s eyes; he no longer looks troubled, but determined. it seems as if in that split second he made a decision — he was going to get some answers tonight and he wasn’t going to walk on eggshells like he has with jian yi previously; so, very straightforwardly, he asks him:  “do you like me?”

jian yi immediately looks petrified; his brows are furrowed and his eyes have widened.. he clearly wasn’t prepared for this question, probably thinking he just dug a hole for himself and shouldn’t have told zhan zheng xi he’d “answer all his questions seriously”. this topic is something he has always been afraid to venture into because he doesn’t want to lose zhan zheng xi — the only person who has ever truly been there for him and accepted him since they were very young, the person he loves. however, another one of the big reasons why I think he looks so scared is because he knows he can’t avoid the question: not only because he told zhan that he would talk seriously twice but he also knows zhan wouldn’t let him try to escape the question at this point even if he wanted to. there’s no where to run, he can’t exactly run away from his own house quickly, especially not in his underwear and even if he tried, zhan is more athletic than him and would probably run after him. again, zhan seems really adamant this time about getting jian yi to talk and he’s literally chased jian yi down before. also it’s a sleepover.. zhan isn’t just staying for a few minutes and leaving, he’s spending the night so he’s not going anywhere either.

4.) another thing, noted by velvetrouge, is that when zhan asks jian yi ‘do you like me?’ he says it like “ “你是喜欢我吗?”. A more literal translation would be “do you like me?”, but the “like” zheng xi is talking about has romantic connotations..”. so it seems quite hard for jian yi to try to twist this around and be like “of course I do, you’re my best friend..” and laugh it off shakily. and even if he did I have a feeling zhan would continue to press and be like “you said you would be serious…” or say “you know what I mean…”

—-

also on the chance that old xian may have jian yi lie, I feel like zhan would have a hard time believing him [cause yes zhan is dense when it comes to noticing jian yi’s crush on him, hence why he is asking jian yi in the first place, but he definitely suspects/knows of it somewhat based on how jian yi has been acting: kissing/neck sucking/‘because of you…’ scene, again, hence why he’s asking in the first place .. he’s just not 100% sure so he’s looking for a confirmation]. if jian yi were to lie, it probably wouldn’t make much sense to him and he’d probably just ask.. “well if you don’t like men.. and you don’t like me… then why did you kiss me?” and jian yi might panic because he probably hasn’t thought that far ahead. it’s all just hard to avoid yknow?? at least i think it’d be difficult to lie to him.. again, I just think considering how zhan has been acting this whole scene, basically begging jian yi to take this seriously, i can just see him continue to pester jian yi.

so yeah..  jian yi may give a proper answer, but if not I don’t think zhan will back down/let him avoid it anyhow. either way I think there is a chance the truth will be coming out some way or another - either by jian yi being honest or zhan continuing to press. again, I’m not saying that its for sure that this will happen, cause with old xian you never really know and its probs best to keep your hopes low just in case, but I do think there is at least a chance considering everything stated above [how the atmosphere was created/written].. at least it seems, from all the implications/signs and literal statements of talking ‘seriously’, that old xian was trying to show the audience this would be a very serious conversation.

translations by: yaoi-blcd

[pixelatedlenses]

“You Can’t Have Black Faeries”: Black Magic, Representation, And Fantastical Reads and Writing , or How I Started Writing Black Characters on Tumblr and Never Looked Back

So I’m going to preface this with the fact that this is a veritable essay that kind of winds: it’s not really organized and would never be published on a formal news site. It’s just my story, all of what I remember, and clocks in around 6ish pages. It was important for me to write this during Black History Month because over the last year, I’ve undergone a lot of changes, and my writing has changed with it. I hope that you’ll read this and ask questions, and continue to support me as I change even more. I love my blackness, I love my writing, and I love sharing it with you all. I suppose here’s the roots of how I got to be Spencer Avery, my pen name that I use for my core writing, outside of beng Tomi for art and light novels. 

It’s my story, and is more stream of consciousness than anything else. Basically: enjoy, is what I’m trying to say. Also, this is, of course, one of the supplimental pieces I mentioned in my post about writing about BHM in Japan. I hope you come to understand another part of me, and see why my black is beautiful. .

I can honestly say that at 24, I love writing black characters.

I stick representations of myself –my culture, fat black folxs, nerdy black folxs, magical black folxs– into whatever I can, whether it’s a mundane romance tale set in a perfectly normal world or a princess stuck in a tower. It became important to me about… eh, three years ago that I start to normalize those kinds of worlds, that Black folxs were just as magic as a Tolkien elf or a Harry Potter wizard. We belonged in those worlds alongside European styled magics too.

But it wasn’t always like that.

I started writing fanfiction at age 13. I was confused about a lot of things: I felt wrong in my black skin, about liking girls over boys and flowers, felt at odds with the black girls that teased me and bullied me into buying them snacks. (And also called my mother fat to my face, which yeah, we both are, but you don’t get to call her that, you know? Geez.) Most of all, I think feeling a sense of nothingness prevailed: I was a black girl playing at being good enough to be white, playing at stepping outside my ethnic roots to somehow feel capital-N Normal.

Video games, thus, became a home for me: I found myself in Naruto, felt at home in the vast worlds of Kingdom Hearts, was brave and empowered in Pokemon was somebodies hero in the countless rpgs stacked next to my bed. I don’t think its an exaggeration to say that I spent more time connected to a set of double a’s or a charger than I did reflecting on myself. I think now, a lot of Blerds –black nerds – often do: we’re pushed out with anti-blackness from our own black folx, and left to imagine ourselves as meaningful in somebody else’s world. It’s quite sad, and perhaps why now, I write so much fantasy and fiction featuring a black character overcoming: it’s a message that still needs to be heard and echoed.

Nevertheless, I was a lonely kid. It was the height of MySpace, I was a digital roleplayer under the all too ridiculous name Naruko Fai Uzamachi –I literally just let out the most pitiful Regret Groan – and I was still on the hunt for that last, little taste of acceptance.

Hence writing.

I put up my first fic on Fanfiction.net sometime in 2007, most likely May. It was a hot mess, but I’m saying that millions of words later in 2017. At the time, it was a release: I was deep into the 801 –that’s Yaoi for the uninitiated, taking from the alternative pronunciations for 8, 0, and 1 in Japanese – community, having found a weird, hypersexualized acceptance amongst likeminded women who felt pushed to Western society’s fringes. I was everywhere I could on MySpace, Aarinfantasy, and any board I could find to somehow make my 14-year-old heart ache less. Fanfiction was there as another balm: I have memories of sneaking onto the computer at midnight, trying to turn the brightness down just so to not wake my mother, and clacking out my feelings about depression, hurt, growing up, and wanting desperately to belong to something.

(As I’m currently at work, I won’t like it: it’s explicit, and I don’t’ look at things like that on my on hours. I can tell you it’s called “Land and Sky” and was a SasuNaru fic, a hot pairing even in 2017.  You can look it up on my Fanfiction.net account, and for fun, do a live reading with your friends. I’ve tried to rewrite it multiple times, and may try this year as it’s the anniversary and my writing is hopefully better. I think perhaps that’s my penance for teenage me’s horribly written yaoi: rewrite a SasuNaru fic every ten years for the rest of my life. Of course, it’s funny now: at the time, I was Ride or Die about that fic.)

This led to me often seeking solace in Asian characters: they were the closes analog to me. Brown and black faces didn’t match me in terms of how I felt; they reminded me of the same mocking laughter, harsh hands, and hurtful words that were hurled at me daily. I didn’t want to like them, but perhaps a part of me also realized I needed something. Asian person –specifically Japanese character – offered that something. They were ethnic enough in my young eyes, and were close enough. Sometimes, characters were a tanned brown, many shades away from my dark skin, but felt cousin to my desire for acceptance.

(Now, of course, I realize that wasn’t the answer and that Japanese-Americans are often ridiculed for their own desire to enjoy their culture, while Westerners  –predominantly Americans of European descent – often police fan culture within Anime and Manga or general Japanese pop, and that has often led to exclusion. That’s not to say there aren’t black folxs out there policing Japanese-American consumption of their own culture too: there certainly are, and they’re just as wrong.)

Writing, thus, developed into a series of long worded fanfiction pieces that I posted all across the web, primarily on FF.net, which was my stomping ground for a very long time. I can still google my many pen names –Syrus Gardenia Fuze, which apparently I asked to be called, dozens of Japanese names with African-esque sounds, and eventually, Nagone, which I took kanji –immaturely and without any knowledge of the language, as I was studying Spanish and not even Chinese yet to understand characters and radicals– to mix together to form “a strong sounding name” which I still use today, but hope to change this year actually– and find my pieces. I get hits daily from kids going through the same growth I did: kids who message me asking questions about the fictional worlds I built, kids who express the same sadness, heartache, and loneliness of being classed as different. PoC kids who tell me that they’re looking for themselves and found it in my writing.

Growing up certainly hasn’t changed in a decade, you know?

However, by the time that college rolled around, fed-up, still black, now queer me was tired, and fanfiction wasn’t always doing the same things it had. I was sick of school, wanted desperately out and to move to Missouri for college, but was stuck in a mundane year. After a blow up at my bullies which resulted in me getting kicked out the band hall and nearly breaking a bass clarinet from dropping it on the ground, I stopped writing: I just flat out gave it up. It felt like it was putting away childish things, tucking away the past, and would let me move on.

Of course, at this point, you’re realizing that I didn’t stop as I’m talking about writing. Let’s continue.

I came back to it in college after my father died because I need Home again. I was still focused on Japan and Japanese media because Japan was cool: I hadn’t had the realization that Japan was a country, and hadn’t really delved into my studies that would lead me to a degree in History and Asian Studies focused on Japan and on showing a 360 view of the nation rather than “it’s got pop culture!” I was still hiding from being black: high school had brow beat me with “Why do we need Black History Month?” gorilla masks when Obama got into office –with friends remarking that I should be proud on of my people made if at 17 and 18– and general Southern Fried Racism that I was more than willing to reject being black. My pool of genuine black friends had grown from two to six: I added a few men into the mix -almost all are college friends I still love- and was steadily working towards some awareness that I was black and not secretly a white girl beneath.

Home was in writing more fics: still primarily yaoi, though I had dabbled in yuri and girl’s love with the arrival of my first partner. I was a bit more brazen and brave about what I wrote, and started showing PoC women together instead of solely Japanese men. It was a radical change, and made me feel a little bit better between regretting being queer and loving college. But there was still a stark absence of anyone black: in fact, I honestly can’t remember ever writing a black character for most of my early writing life.

So, I bet you’re wondering when that black part will come in?

Well, it starts probably in 2013ish when I made my writing Tumblr.

I’d heard about Tumblr through my fourth partner, an asexual with a penchant for wanting a mixed child because they were “cute” and wanting a boy despite being agender and stating that no one should choose gender.

(I should add that they often remarked they wanted to spin the sperm of their donor to increase the rate of a boy, and would be sad to not have their child come out how they wanted. It made me feel very gross, and I was not at all sad to break up with them. It was for the best, and I hope that they realize now that it’s kind of gross to want a mixed child for their aesthetic and not because you wouldn’t mind having a child with multiple cultures. They were a nice person, but it’s alright to accept that nice people -even me- have microaggresions that we must constnatly work at.)

I started with a cosplay tumblr: it was dedicated to my costuming which I did often enough, and was made with the mindset of being a black cosplayer. This was a huge change, and it came solely because of an event the year before: namely, the murder-death killing of Trayvon Martin, a boy who was sent to rest by a man who is, simply put, a racist and hated him for his skin.

That changed my world: it was like I’d been literally seeing black and white, and suddenly, there was an entire spectrum of Brown that I fit into. I was a black person, ahd the potential to get killed for my skin, for not being submissive, for being a perceived threat, and that was scary. It was the kind of thing that, for months, kept me awake. I saw, for the first time, the ugly face of kind racism: I had white friends remark that President Obama wouldn’t know how it felt to lose a child like that because he was only half-black, and he was the President, one of the good ones. I saw that perhaps, I was perceived like that: that my intellect, my quiet nature, my bookish ways, and my gentleness were only Right because they were White, that a percentage of people around me where trading Me for being Good, and a Good Black.

(Insert another groan.)

So my writing changed with that: it became more active, more constant, and eventually in 2014, solidified into this blog with all the meager beginnings I could offer. I remember my first posts were from a roleplay senior year: they focused on the characters of our werewolf campaign. I think after that came some reposts from FictionPress  –I really want to start utilizing that again this year, alongside Wattpad and other sns for writing–  and then… well, then I started writing for myself. It started with fae –I’ve always like fae since I first read Holly Black’s Modern Fae series, specifically Valiant, sophomore year of high school– and so I started to transplant black features onto them. My fae ranged from sweet to scary, were villains, heroes, lovers, and friends. They were varied like I felt I was: black had stopped having a singular identity or word bubble of terms that were solely “ethnic” and was a mass of very difficult faces, all living very different lives. I mirrored that onto the supernatural, and it worked: I started to gain ground and felt that I was doing something right. It felt good, and that momentum carried into grad school, picking me up when I was down, giving me a place to escape, but also critically write about big feelings.

Simply put, writing was good.

(I also got into Legend of Korra heavy and started writing fic again. I’ve been on a two year fic break, but plan to pick it up soon, after I finish my current project which I still can’t talk about.)

You’d think that after nearly a decade of writing, I’d have written for myself, but I always think I was writing for others: it’s a habit I still struggle with because I’m a people pleaser and want to make folxs happy, but writing for myself was the most freeing thing I could ever reward myself with.

Now, I’d love to tell you I remember my first black girl, but the one I remember most –and the one that’s fairly well-known and recent– is Cobalt “Colby” Johnson, a college-aged, plump, chubby black girl from my novella Gelid. She’s from 2015, her story written in a month in a cast of all non-white characters. Colby is probably one of the dearest characters to my heart, and when I get a chance, I will rewrite her purposely quickly written story into something bigger, seal up her plot holes and give her more body.

Colby, as a character, was not originally meant to be an analog of me: I never set out thinking, “Yeah, this is me, but if I ended up in a crazy, month long adventure”. At the time, I was writing her as a challenge: finish one thing, and it would mean I could finish anything I set my mind to. Surprisingly, when I did finish, it gave me the strength to do just that: finish things, even if it took time.

Colby was the culmination of all the things I felt that big black girls needed: adventure, an acceptance of self. She was my swan song to the me that hated being fat, to the me that hated being fat and black, to the me that thought other black girls also wanted adventure. It was important to me that I give that adventure and have the black girl win: I gave her winnings in the form of a solid relationship with her mother that was genuinely healthy, a good friend, and the power of being a diety essentially. Certainly, thinking now about the story, there’s massive plot holes to how that all happened, but that wasn’t the point: it was getting that story out of me and out for people to engage with.

Regardless, Colby became me because writing is a part of me: every character takes from their owner, right? Colby was no different. But she was magical because she did something special to me, and made me crave writing again.

(Please search the Gelid tag on the blog. I really love this story because it changed me, and once I wrote it, I finally stopped looking back to my mistakes and started to change my writing to be more self-serving. And hey, if there’s enough interest, Gelid will receive a published rewrite and maybe even an ebook form like I had formerly planned.)

After that, a cork was popped, and I’ve been writing a lot more black girls since. Black folxs I should say as most range from AFAB persons to trans and genderqueer, genderfluid and fully other: dragons who take female form but are just them, otherworldly entities, fae who don’t need human gender roles. Honestly, I feel the momentum is still here even though I had to step back from writing to transition my life to Japan. I’m still writing black girls, though now, my life is influenced by half-Japanese and African-American folxs, writing for an often underserved part of Japanese society.

The fantastical is a powerful thing, you know, and when a pen is your sword, you can do a lot of great things. I wish that younger me had the ability to see that would be our reality one day: yet I’m glad I didn’t because realizing that was sweet, if not hard fought for, and makes writing even more valuable to me.

This year, of course, will bring more black girls, along with Japanese writing, largely because of my new environment. I have plans for many stories with all black fae communities, returns to old characters like Colby (Gelid) and Flavia and Sorrell (Polychromatic (18+), a piece from the wonderful SSBB, which was a dream come true!), a magical girl series called end game that contains black duotagonists, and lots of other stuff. I won’t reveal my entire hand: I want to keep some things close to my chest, but I can say that 2017 –and perhaps the rest of my life– will be the Year of Black Magic, of celebrating my skin through writing, of realizing worlds where real society is tossed out and equality, fairness, and mutuality reign.

I’m going to end this telling you that I’m still a work in progress: a decade of actualized self-hate is not cured by writing some pretty badass black folx overnight, or even in a few years. Loving my blackness, writing my blackness, and living both of those things are a daily effort, and sometimes, it gets beaten down and I feel worthless because ultimately I am a human. I’m not invincible. Yet I still find the ability, day by day, to rise up and be proud of me.

I’m but one of many black writers, but I’ll say that I’m proud: a decade of writing, a decade of The Struggle, and I’ve arrived. I love my life, and especially love my writing. I hope to share it for as long as I can on here, and everywhere for the rest of my life.

Say it loud: Spencer Avery’s Black and Proud!

tl;dr: I won’t ever have an all white story again, and honestly, probably never a story without 96% POC characters. It may be the case that I’m that one writer with the Token White Person in the future: I often wonder if that’ll be true. I don’t mean that in a negative way either: I love writing characters, but I also think it’s important that little black girls and black folxs can see themselves succeed not through strife, but through living in other worlds and engaging with life without having to always Overcome. Strife is not a Black Descriptor: it’s not all we are meant to do. Once I write black, I sure ain’t going back: ugh, that’s the wrong tense, but you get the point. I love writing representation for people who look like me, who are dark brown, darkly toasted, and proud. I don’t know if I ever could stop: the thought makes me rather sad. I hope that 14-year-old me who sought representation in tidbits, in girls like Tally Youngblood who I desperately hoped had an inkling of actual melanin, would be proud: that me would love to know that there are fae and witches, princesses in towers and deities that look like me: black, curled hair, big-brained, and adventurous in whatever they do.

[s-hadow-chan]

Moving blogs + a reflection essay

tl;dr -- I’m moving my main blog. Because lots of my views on life have changed, my life has changed, and obviously my tastes in fandoms have changed. I’ll put the URL here later once I’ve made it. To see how I got to this position and where I am now, keep reading ^w^

Note: This is just my own opinion as to how I’ve seen Tumblr over the past few years. 

Well, it’s the start of a New Year. I haven’t been active much in 2017 but I’ll try and be active this year. Thanks to all the people who’ve helped and supported me this year and the following people who have made my life on Tumblr : *a list of people I rarely talk to anymore*

....Is what I would have said perhaps a year or two ago. I’m still glad I’ve joined this site and had conversations with some KnB fanatics like I was. However, I haven’t talked to them in a year. The only people I usually talk to on this site are basically nonexistent. I mean my friends from high school technically, but I talk to them irl during classes and lunch. The truth is that I have not been active on Tumblr for the past year. And my activity on the site was starting to wane in 2016 as well when I accidentally deleted my main blog last year when I was actually trying to delete a side blog I was working on. But that’s besides the fact as to why I’m moving. I’ve changed quite a bit since 2014 when I first joined Tumblr. My views of the world have changed, my life has changed, even the tiniest things such as my fandom tastes have changed. Because of this change, I’m moving to a new blog. Since you’ve decided to keep reading, I’m going to write a long detailed essay about the three things that have changed with me: my taste, my views on the world, and my life in 2014. You have the complete freedom to click out anytime ^w^

The fourteen-year-old me has a different shit taste in anime than the shit taste I have in anime now. Obviously, no one person can stay the same. If you’ve reblogged the little posts I’ve reblogged from other blogs (try saying that five times lol) notice how there’s barely any Hetalia or Kuroko no Basket or Haikyuu for that matter. Even when I’ve been active for the past few days, it’s been more positive posts, memes, and occasional anime of Hero Aca and such. So really if you want to know what I’m into at the moment, it’s Honeyworks, Hero Aca, Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso (Your Lie in April), food, study things, any Makoto Shinkai film (doesn’t have to be Your Name but it can be) and always memes. And getting off from the high of finishing Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches, I’ll be looking for that too. Also, notice the decline in squealing yaoi fangirl that used to squeal in the tags section about two dudes cross-dressing. Ah, yes. The Hetalia days of where I’d ship APH America with everyone and just had a huge obsession with APH America. The title of my blog (on mobile anyway) is still a quote from the dub haha.  To be fair, that squealing, yaoi fangirl did have a brief revival when Yuri on Ice was still airing. I still have a soft spot for the anime as it was very good (and still is, Phichit will forever be an angel) and I absolutely LOVE Makkachin still. But for the most part, I have mostly lost the whole yaoi fangirl that I once was in Freshman year of high school who still loved shipping countries together. Why I deviated from Hetalia is another post unto itself.

I mentioned how I haven’t been posting a lot of kurobas lately. Yes my interest has waned in the show, but I still appreciate what it’s done for me in my high school years. I still have a quote from Aida Riko back in the earlier chapters of the manga hanging on my wall as I work on homework: “I want you to have a big concrete objective and the will to achieve it.” I won’t deny, KnB really helped me set the mentality I needed to tackle high school -- to keep pushing myself to become a better person. Whether I fulfilled that expectation or not is debatable. But as always, the inspirational quotes of KnB will undoubtedly carry me onto college too.

Now don’t get triggered when I say that Tumblr can really take leftist ideology to the extreme. It’s definitely right to treat everybody equally no matter their skin color, gender, sexuality, shape, size, disability, etc. Basically, everyone deserves to be treated equally. That’d definitely fine and it’s the right way to live life after all. However, it first hit me in Junior year that Tumblr was getting annoying. The whole “the straights are terrible” and “white men should burn in hell” preaching gave Tumblr the black and white views of the world without any grays (or greys however you spell it) in between. Now I’m a straight CIS female. I’ve got good friends who are asexual, bi, lesbian, etc. I will say this, but I doubt it will be heard by the screams of hate against a straight CIS gender like myself: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR DAMN SEXUALITY OR GENDER OR COLOR OR WHATEVER IS AS LONG AS YOU ARE A NICE PERSON! If you are a trans, gay Hispanic (an example, not pointing you out) who treats other people terribly, that means I will flip you off and beat your ass (to some extent of this statement). Not all straight people are bad and not all gays are good and it goes for every demographic that exists ever.

Though it may seem that I am blaming all of Tumblr for acting this way, I am. But I can’t forget that I too, once had a black and white view of the world. As a fourteen-year-old who was very much shielded from the world because of a private Catholic school with conservative parents who are very well off, I had an inkling of what the rest of the world was like. And I feel like the people on Tumblr were just as uneducated about the world as I was. By no means do I know everything about the world now. A seventeen-year-old who hasn’t even finished high school will never know how the me from four years from now feels. I am just saying that my opinion from leaning so far left a damn tree would break has become more moderate. This website made me think: gosh being straight and CIS is uncool and being a normal functional being with no anxiety or depression isn’t normal too. I need to be bi and genderfluid! That was stupid thinking. Right now, I’m completely fine with being a straight, CIS female with no mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety who will gladly respect your pronouns.

Now life is really crazy. It was crazy in 2016, and it was crazy in 2017 too. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that I’m from Las Vegas, Nevada now did I? Times have changed man. I don’t think I would have said that when I was 10 on a website lol. But yeah if you’ve somehow been scrolling this far down I commend your efforts. And I’m sure you’re getting really strained rn. So get some water, take a break, I’m sorry if you can’t get to a laptop or computer right now. Don’t read this in one go. If you’ve returned or decided to read straight on through welcome back or good for you respectively. Now I’ll repeat that again. Yes, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. Right where Stephen Paddock decided to shoot from the 37th floor of Mandalay Bay onto the Route 91 Harvest Festival where over 500 people were wounded and 50 people were killed and where three students from my school were at on Sunday night (they were unharmed physically I believe). I found this out when I was tucked in bed at home, far from the strip checking my friend’s snapchats before I fell asleep. For the largest mass shooting in modern US history to take place in an area where my family would take our extended family to dinner or where we once had a New Years Eve celebration at the Vdara, is sickening. My cousins and I used to go to Mandalay Bay and hang out at the pool and stay the night because it was Spring break back when we were in middle school. My mom’s 40th birthday was at the Mandalay Bay. It’s terrible. I know how those people in Orlando and Colorado and everywhere else in the world feel when a mass shooting happens and completely disrupts your life. I’ve barely even been to the strip this year. The fact that a terror attack happened in my own backyard is beyond words. It makes me angry that some bastard decided to fuck up the lives of everyone in my city by ruining a good time at a concert. It makes me sad when I read a Washington Post later about a group of girls who went to a Lutheran school were affected by this event mentally and some even physically by this event. And that in turns makes me pissed off that some dude ruined the lives of teenage girls exactly like me, who were worried about the SAT and ACT and AP Classes and college. Fuck him.

So that’s my feelings on the shooting a few months late. But remember that I live in Las Vegas. You can’t just forget a mass shooting that happened in the city you live in. I’d mention how people would disagree with me that other events on the strip have happened such as a robbing at the Bellagio (it’s always the Bellagio man! That’s my fave part of the strip with the dancing waters and the seasonal garden inside like man they don’t deserve that) and etc. but feel free to disagree with me when you submit an ask dear anon.

Now on a somewhat lighter note, high school will forever be stressful. Going to the best high school in the state is stressful when all your friends have a nonstop grind to be one of the valedictorians (apparently you can have more than one?? I had no idea until I went to high school). Though I am nowhere near becoming a valedictorian, I still have plans to graduate with high honors ( wearing white for graduation) because half of the people graduating will wear white because it’s a magnet school dammit we’re kinda smart. AP classes have been part of my workload since Sophomore year which is right when I deleted my blog, but I managed to keep my activity up somewhat. Junior year slumped in my activity big time. APUSH is hard you guys. That’s it. I believe I posted a reflection at the start of 2017 detailing a bit more of this. But the difference this year is that I’m a senior in high school. That means college and scholarships. As I’ve mentioned before, I live in Nevada. I either stay in Las Vegas and attend the university there or I head up to Reno, which is like a 6-hour drive from home or just an hour flight. That means living in a dorm away from everything I’ve known. And that includes my boyfriend.

The biggest change in my life between Freshman year and now is that I’m taken! And honestly, it was the biggest fucking plot twist of 2016 (and the largest failed segway of 2018 thus far). I’m dating the largest weeb at my school ever and I’m happy dammit. Most of the time. I’ve learned a lot from being in a relationship like how to shut the fuck up and listen and appreciate more in life. By no means was my relationship perfect either. We’ve had a lot of fights. I’ve mentioned this in my reflection of 2016 at the start of last year so the rundown is that we’ve been together a year and a half now. I’m in a healthy relationship. Then college comes in and says hi. Now my boyfriend has decided to go to the university here in Las Vegas. I’m still very unsure as to where I want to go next. After all, the decision as to where to continue my education lies with me and I’m running out of time (I’m procrastinating on the decision right now lol). Four years ago, I had dreams of going out of state to either a UC school or the United States Airforce Academy in Colorado, until I learned that school outside of my state is expensive so I decided to stay within the confines of Nevada. 

And honestly, that’s where I’m at right now. Thanks for reading this long ass rant. I spent an hour or two typing this up. I just have a lot of feelings haha. I hope everyone has the best year ever. If this is after I’ve posted my new URL, go follow me there. But for now, thanks for all the support thus far and especially for reading this long ass rant. See you!