#yeah this guy is basically sun jesus

[deen-djarin]

Suds n’ Trunks

Summary: Joel ordered a car washing service…bikini car washing service.

Tags: 18+, No Outbreak!Joel, Cheeky Flirty!Reader, Porn with a sprinkle of plot, Daddy kink, Choking, Joel is a menace and so is reader, Oral (m & f receiving), Unprotected P-in-V, Consensual Creampie

—

The sun shone on the perfect suburban streets of Austin, Texas. So hot you could fry an egg if you wanted to. You rolled your windows down, driving down a neighborhood you’re not familiar with, and pulled up at the house that sits in the cul de sac, a dirty- no filthy ford pickup truck parked on its driveway.

This must be the place.

A sigh fell from your lips as you hopped off your car with your supplies in hand; a bucket, sponge, microfiber rag, and various soaps for different parts of the car. The heat was even worse after you’ve left the comfort of your air conditioned car, but the thought of being out of your clothes and soaked in suds and the cool water excites you.

Once you’ve discovered this lucrative market of bored, horny, lonely middle aged suburban guys— eager to see a show, and maybe get their car cleaned as well, you start to do this gig every summer. The money is good plus these guys tip generously.

Your service by its core is nothing but a mobile car wash, but the carwash is being done by you, clad in a skimpy bikini. c’mon, who wouldn’t want that right?

When you scored your first customer, you became a spectacle for the neighborhood. Your client shamelessly pulls out a lawn chair, having a grand ol’ time “enjoying the sun” as you wash their car. Neighbors walking out their houses mowing their already perfectly trimmed lawn, walking their dogs, cats, and some approached your client for a neighborly talk they probably haven’t had in months.

You’ve gotten the whole neighborhood out of their house basically, then your client list doubles with those people coming over to you and asking to do theirs next. Some cars don't even need washing, but you do them anyway with a smile knowing you’re gonna eat good that night.

Ever since then you decided to do this gig every summer, cheekily naming your little business “Suds ‘n Trunks”.

—

You ring the doorbell of the Miller’s residence and step back. You could hear a soft grumble from behind the door before it opened and reveal a scruffy, middle aged, handsome man. your eyes scans him quickly, his hair tousled, his shoulders broad, big arms, big hands, Jesus Christ you want to just-

“Can I help you?”

His gruff, deep, Texan drawl snaps you out of your trance and brings you back to reality.

“Uhm yes, Mr. Miller? you called for a car wash?” You asked him with a sweet voice you come to learn that older men love, it always works like a charm, making them tip you a fat wad of cash— these men just craved attention from a pretty girl, and you’re happy to give that to them.

“Oh..yeah you could uh, it's that one right there,” he motioned to the dirty pickup truck. You give him a smile and nodded, “okay, i’ll go on and get started then.” Joel nodded and shut the door immediately.

—

A red Ford bronco sat on his driveway, absolutely covered in filth. You usually don't deal with this much grime, dust, and mud. Granted, most cars you’ve washed barely need a wash, the clients just wanted to see you wet and covered in suds, which you couldn’t really blame them.

You took a breath and started to step out of your tanktop and shorts, revealing the red matching bikini you’re wearing underneath and started to go to work.

—

Joel was exhausted after doing several construction projects back to back yesterday, from dawn to the ungodly hours of the night resulting in his beloved truck — Shirley— looking like it had been dragged in the mud…literally.

Joel likes to take care of his things, Shirley is no exception. His free time on the weekends is often spent on his truck in the garage, polishing her to perfection. But after all the hard work he did, just the thought of washing her made his back groan in protest.

So he got the number of your services from his coworkers after they commented on the state of Shirley, a smirk planted on their faces and they kept snickering which Joel found odd, but he was too fed up and exhausted to think twice on booking your services.

Joel grunts as he settles on his couch, his cold bottle of beer in one hand, the tv remote on the other. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table, and turned on the TV.

It's finally his time for him to take his hard-earned relaxation time. which should be easy, but he could hear the annoying sputtering sound of his neighbor’s lawnmower.

That thing needs more oil. He thought to himself as he took a sip of his beer.

Then another sound of a lawnmower sounded from the other side of the house, even more annoying than the first.

What the fuck? Why are they all mowin’ the lawn at the same time? at this hour? he thought.

Then comes the obnoxious yapping of Mr. Thompson's french bulldog and chihuahua.

What the hell is goin’ on? it's a whole ruckus out there.

He groaned, frustrated that the whole neighborhood seems to be against his well deserved relaxing time. He grumbled as he strides towards his window, drawing up the blinds to see what the fuck is going on out there.

His eyes nearly bulged out, blush quickly crept up his neck to his cheeks, and his cock twitching in his pants instantly at the sight.

You, bend over in the hood of his car, wet, covered in suds, in a fucking bikini. He tried to look away, he really did, but the way your hips sways, your ass jiggled, as you scrubbed hard with the caked on mud on his truck— it was hypnotizing.

—

“What the hell are ya doin’?”

The sight of Joel's furrowed brow as he stared at you in your revealing outfit was a mix of disapproval and desire. Your sweet smile remained as you answered his question, "Mr. Miller! I'm just washing your car."

His gaze roamed over you, making you shiver with anticipation. "In that?" He grunted, clearly torn between his disgust and arousal. "Well, yes… It's part of my service."

The man stood silent for a moment, his confusion palpable. "Part of your service?"

"Uhm, yeah... It's a bikini car wash service… You didn't know?" you tilted your head, confused.

Joel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "How the hell was I supposed to know?"

"The name is Suds 'n' Trunks," you reminded him softly.

"I know what it's called!" he huffed, clearly frustrated.

Unsure of how to proceed, you hesitated. "So, uhm, you want me to just dress up and go or—"

"No, finish your job," he grumbled, still irritated. Your eyes trailed down to the growing tent in his jeans, confirming the source of his conflicting emotions.

You hid your smirk and purred, "Yes, sir," before returning to your task. The knowledge that you had such a potent effect on him only fueled your desire to please him.

—

Your back is even more curved now, ass sticking up more than they should as you washed the side of his truck, knowing Joel is looking– watching you like a hawk while he sits on the porch, a beer in his hand and a cigarette on the other. you turned your head over your shoulder just to give him a small smile, which he returned with his jaw clenching.

You bask under his gaze, your body tingling, giving him the best show you’ve ever given. you squatted as you started to clean the lower part of the truck, your ass jiggle with every hard scrub you give.

The tension between the two of you is palpable, leaving Joel frustrated, he knows damn well you’re taunting him. He’s torn between wanting to yell at you for acting so unprofessional and embarrassing him in front of the watchful eyes of his nosy neighbors— or fucking you against the truck for payback.

He sits there watching you, contemplating on what to do. You gave him another cheeky look over your shoulder and that was it, his last resolve snapped, fuck it.

—

“Careful with her,” he said lowly as he approached you.

You turned your head, batting your eyelashes, “Hm?”

“You’re goin’ too hard on her, just painted that part,” he murmured as he got closer, just right behind you.

“But the mud is really caked on this part,” you told him and went back to scrubbing.

“A-ah, hey,” he tutted and leaned down behind you, his large palms sitting atop of yours “Gentle…easy does it,” he murmured, his hot breath fanned against your ear.

You had to bite your lip to suppress a moan as you felt his hardness pressed against your thigh. Your hand following his movements, “There we go…there we go, good girl,” he murmured and you swore every part of your body shivered.

“This is gonna take longer to finish, sir,” you murmured, your voice a mere whisper as you turned your head to him.

“I know…but you’re gonna get a bigger reward out of it, how’s that sound hm?” he muttered to your ear before abruptly pulling away from you and sitting back on the porch.

your breath hitched, heartbeat skipping, and the heat between your legs grew hotter. You turned your head towards him to see him sitting back at his porch, his head nodded at you to continue your work, a small smirk curved his lips.

—

You’re halfway done with the truck when his neighbor starts to approach you, a middle aged guy you came to learn named Michael. He’s been clearly hitting on you, and trying to get a closer look on what you’re doing. which usually doesn’t bother you but you could practically feel Joel's watchful eyes boring into your back.

“So you do this for a living?” he asked as he stood a few feet away from you, “It's just a summer gig i do,” you replied with a small smile, keeping the response light.

"Sweet, it's nice seeing a young, beautiful, hard-working woman," he chuckled. Your jaw tensed for a moment before you forced a tight-lipped smile.

"Can you do my car next? It's pretty dirty too," he suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. You felt a flush of annoyance, but your eyes met Joel's, who glared disapprovingly from his porch.

"Well, uh..." you hesitated, glancing back at Joel. He shook his head, a clear indication that he didn't want you to entertain Michael's advances. "Sorry, Michael. I'm booked for today... I gotta go somewhere after this."

Michael sighed, "Aw, just my luck," he lamented. "I'll ask Joel for your number, huh? I'll book you as soon as you're free." You chuckled, "Yeah, you go do that."

Michael made his way over to Joel, asking for your number. Joel nodded, but with a grunt, he gave Michael the wrong number. A smirk played on your lips as you returned to your work.

—

After what feels like forever you finally finished with the last drag of your microfiber rag. You let out a sigh and turned around to Joel sauntering his way. “All done Mr. Miller,” you purred.

He looked at his truck, all clean and shiny. A satisfied smirk graced his face, “you did a good job” he praised. “Good enough to get that reward?” you murmured with your head tilted innocently. Joel let out a small chuckle “Mmhm... come on inside and i’ll get it sorted for you, pretty girl.”

Your eyes gleamed with lust and you bit your lip in anticipation as he led you inside his house. The wind hits your wet body, the coolness leaves your nipples even harder, your body tingling with need.

By the time the two of you were inside, Joel’s body was taut, like a spring ready to burst. He couldn’t hold it in anymore, his large palms grab a hold of your wet body and pinned you against his door, you let out a surprised whimper at his sudden actions.

“Been a good girl for me huh? Takin’ care of my truck,” he murmured as he leaned down and his lips grazed your jaw to the skin under your ear. “Been naughty too haven’t you? Tauntin’ me with this sweet ass of yours,” he grabbed your ass and gave it a hard squeeze making you let out a small moan, he pulled you closer, his hard cock pressing against your wet bikini bottoms.

You couldn’t help but grind your hips against him, needy and desperate for friction, eliciting a small moan from you and a groan from him. “What do you have to say about that huh? Pretty girl?,” he muttered and nibbled on your earlobe, “I’m sorry sir” you panted softly.

“Yeah? Doesn’t seem to be that sorry,” he chuckled lowly, his voice gravely and his accent was thicker than before “Think I would have to punish you… you thought it was funny huh? Makin’ me hard as a rock with those fucking neighbors watchin’?” he growled to your ear and slapped your ass, you whimpered and jolted forwards.

“I’m sorry sir..please don't punish me,” you whined and bit your lip. “You’re sorry huh? Go on, pretty thing, show me how sorry you are,” he murmured. You didn't need to be told twice, you fell to your knees, eyes wide as you looked up to his face, hands deftly undoing his belt and jeans and pulling it down along with his boxers.

Your mouth salivated just from the sight of his cock springing free, thick, veiny, and throbbing, just how you thought it would be. He gave you a nod to tell you ‘go on’, you leaned down and darted your tongue out, tasting the heady taste of his precum. He groaned and tossed his head back, hand tangling in your hair and pulled you in, you hummed and finally wrapped your mouth around his girth with a small whimper. Your jaw straining to accommodate him, tongue moving with practiced ease as you sink down deeper, taking in more of him.

“Fuck yeah..good fuckin’ girl…thats it,” he muttered and started to guide your head the way he wanted, you thrive with his praises, taking in him as deep as you could. Gagging and sputtering here and there but you didn't stop at all in search of his approval and satisfaction, you didn’t want to stop. The room was filled with the sound of his grunts and heavy breaths, along with the obscene sounds from you and your muffled whimpers.

Joel nearly came when he saw you starting to snake your hand between your legs, “Naughty fuckin’ slut, touchin’ yourself huh?” he groaned and started to thrust into your mouth, holding your head in place. “You want me to take care of that? Hm?” he growled and you whined as an answer. Suddenly he abruptly pulled you away from his cock, “get on the fuckin’ couch,” he muttered, you scrambled off the floor and quickly gotten on the nearby couch, “on your hands and knees, sweetheart,” he commanded and you did as he said, bending over, facing the backrest of the couch.

He stood behind you and pushed you legs wider, your head craned over your shoulder to look at him with your needy expression, bottom lip between your teeth. He gripped your chin and he leaned down, finally crashing his lips to yours. He was rough, didn’t even hesitate on pushing his tongue into your mouth, tongue dominating yours, making you whine and push your hips back, desperate, begging for him.

His kiss left you panting as he pulled away, he trailed kisses down your back, biting on the knot that holds your bikini top together and pulling on it and letting it unravel, his hand started to grope your tits, playing, pinching, pulling on your sensitive nipples. “Mr. Miller,” you panted “please..”

“Use your word, Baby, what do you need?” he murmured to the crook of your neck. You whimpered and kept moving your hips, “anything- please- your finger, mouth- anything, i need you,” you rambled desperately. Joel chuckled darkly, his large fingers playing with the knots of your bikini bottoms, “needy little thing,” he murmured before pulling on the knots and unraveling the red wet fabric, making it fall to the couch.

Joel practically growled at the sight before him, you, bent over with your ass high in the air, naked, your pussy dripping and ready for him. “Look at you..” he murmured and leaned down, groping your ass and pushing it apart to reveal more of you. “Mmh..” he grumbles before leaning down and placing a broad lick on your cunt. “Oh- god- Mr- mmhngh! Mr. Miller” you whined and pushed your hips more to his face. Joel groaned and started to really eat you out, his large palms splayed on your ass, face completely buried in your drooling pussy. “It's Joel, sweetheart,” he chuckled as he pulled away from your cunt for a second, “I wanna hear ya moan my name.”

“Joel..” you breathed, getting used to the feel of his name on your lips. Joel started to flick his tongue rapidly on your clit, making your eyes roll back and moan out his name, “fuck- ahh! Joel!” He grunted in response, “yeah that’s it, moan my name…mmhhh good fuckin’ girl.”

You were falling apart already at the hands of his tongue, moving on your pussy with practiced ease. Joel relished the sounds of your moans, and the sweet and tangy taste of your cunt. He groaned and started to push his thick fingers to your entrance, “Joel! Ahnghh! F-fuck! mmhngh!!” you cried out, he grunted and pulled away from your pussy for a second, “That’s it baby, you’re gonna cum hm? Gonna be a good girl an cum on my face?” he muttered and curled his digits to hit that heavenly spot within you, you whined in response, barely able to come up with words but nodded with your eyes closed in pleasure. “Good girl, c’mon, come on my face” he panted and started double his efforts, his tongue flicking on your sensitive clit, slurping all your juices, whilst his fingers kept hitting that sweet spot over and over again.

Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, you back arched and your eyes rolled back, you swore you saw stars. His name kept falling from your lips in between moans and whimpers which he responded with praises.

“good girl, that’s it”

“you’re so pretty when you cum for me”

“tastes so good baby, there you go..”

He peppered kisses across your shoulders and back as he waited for you to come down from your high. “joel..” you panted and kept pushing your hips back to grind against his throbbing cock, eliciting a groan from his lips, “yeah? you want my cock, pretty girl?” he muttered and rutted his hips against you, his cock sliding against your cunt. “yes- please joel- please-“ you let out a loud moan when he suddenly pushed his cock into your core.

“fuuuck” he groaned as he pushed himself in “fuck- shit, baby you’re so fuckin’ tight,” he panted and gripped your hips tight. “joel! oh- f-fuck hhngh!” you whimpered and gripped the back of the couch. Joel pulled back until his cock is almost fully slipped back, you whined at the loss of his stretch, then he slammed back in. “Fuck! Oh- f-fuuckk! Joeel!!” you cried out, “Yeah baby that’s it- shit- yeah take it baby, take it” he growled to your ear and wrapped your hair on his hand and yanked it back. Your head tilted back at the force and he crashed his lips to yours again, swalowing all your moans and whimpers as he fucked you with a relentless pace.

“J-joel” you warned between pants, “Yeah i know baby- fuck- yeah i can feel it,” he groaned and panted “c’mon baby give it to me, cum on my cock, c’mon” he murmured and went faster. The sound of his skin smacking against yours gets louder and louder, the couch groaned and creaked in protest. You could barely utter any coherent words at this point, just slurring his name and how good it feels between moans and pants.

Your back arched and trembles as you cry out his name like a prayer. Joel slowed down for a second, letting you ride out the orgasm, “there you go…hmm there you go” he muttered soothingly, his hips rocking deliberately, slowly. “You can take more, sweetheart?” he murmured to your ear, you couldn’t help but nod. ”Good girl,” he praised to your ear and kissed your jaw before his arm wrapped around your waist, the other around your chest and pulled you up until his chest pressed against your back. He resumed his hard relentless thrusts, his hand on your chest groping and playing with your hard nipples. you felt like floating at this point, just taking everything he gave you like a good girl.

“Who’s pussy is this?” He growled to your ear, you could barely talk just letting out sounds of pleasure, he spanked your ass hard and you gasped out a moan, “Yours! Hahngh! All yours!” you whined, Joel gripped your neck and pulled you closer to him “Who?” he demanded, you panted and choked out, “Yours daddy!” bingo.

He growled and bent you over again, his hand still tight on your neck, choking you just right. “Yeah that’s right, such a good girl for daddy,” he muttered and pounded into you. You kept choking out moans, calling him daddy over and over. He shifted his position, propping one leg on the couch to get a different angle, deeper, and it allowed him to reach that spot within you. “Oh my g- aahhngh!! daddy!! right there, oh fuck- fuck me right there!!” you cried out. He grunted and let out a dark chuckle, “there sweetheart?” he taunted as he thrusted extra hard aiming at that spot again. “yes!! yes- yes please- please i- daddy please” you rambled, begging for him, his cock has reduced you to nothing but desperate and needy. “well since you asked so nicely,” he said coyly before hitting that spot over and over again.

You felt you’re gonna shatter yet again in any second, a ticking time bomb set on your lower belly. “D-daddy i’m- hah- i’m-” you could barely finish your choked out sentence. “Yeah? Gonna cum again for daddy?” he panted to your ear, all you could do was nodded and give a whimper of confirmation. He chuckled darkly and his hand snaked down to rub your clit with fervor while his hips kept pounding to your ass, “Go on then, come for me, come for daddy,” he muttered to your ear.

Your vision blurred and you saw white. It feels like you’re barely conscious, your third orgasm hits you even harder than the last. You didn’t noticed whats happening until joel groaned, “Fuck yeah you’re squirtin’ on me baby- good girl- hhnngh good fuckin’ girl.” Your thighs trembled, wet with your release, red from his thrusts.

He finally let go of your neck and you gasped out for much needed air, his thrusts started to stutter. “Where do you want it?” he panted to your ear, “Inside, inside daddy, please,” you begged and started to move your hips to meet his. Joel couldn’t hold back any longer, 1, 2, 3 hard thrusts later and he came completely undone inside you. “Fuuuckk!! Fuck yeah- oh shit baby” he moaned, “fuck! makin’ me cum so much, pretty girl…oh yeah good fuckin’ girl,” he panted to your ear.

After his hips stilled, he pulled out of you, making you whine and clench around nothing, pushing his hot sticky seed out of you.

He chuckled and whispered to your ear, “look at you…all messy n’ dirty,” he cooed. “You cleaned my truck now it's time for me to clean you,” he murmured before peppering kisses down your spine yet again.

—

author’s note: THIS WAS MY FIRST FIC EVER AHSHSHEH so forgive me if its shitty or the grammar is horrible bc english is my 2nd language:3 ALSO i have never written smut before heheheh, your feedback is greatly appreciated!! thank you for reading this horny piece of literature!!

[ratcash-wasgud]

Beach episode with loser!Mizu,,,, she's lurking under the shade while everyone else is out in the water having fun like the- well loser she is

i love beach episodes!!! wahhh!!!! (i know basically nothing about beach culture btw)

i think this will be the last loser!mizu for a while guys (a couple days, until i realize i can't write anythinng else, and crawl back to my pookie). I have so many unfinished drafts ugghh.

mdni :p

+audios !! okay enjoy.

You and Mizu have gone to a couple of "dates", which all were just hanging out at or around the aquarium. Oh, and you once came to watch one of her games, but that's it. It's a very confusing relationship in Mizu's eyes.

For a while she already thought you two were dating, but Akemi quickly educated her on the wonderful world of talking stages. That day, Mizu decided that talking stages were her worst enemies. How are you not her girlfriend yet? It's not fair.

Akemi and Taigen only seen you once, and they were both intoxicated, and Ringo hasn't even met you, only in passing, so it's obvious they'd want to meet the person their grumpy friend is spending most of her time with. So Akemi arranges a beach hangout, and starts bugging Mizu about bringing you along, with "Come onnn, don't you wanna see her in a bikini?" typa comments.

Mizu, even though the last time you hung out with Akemi and Taigen it turned out very much embarassing to her, gives in after a while.

After a brief text exchange which Mizu floods with horrible memes, just to ease her own anxiety, you say yes, and now here we are.

Mizu is setting up her little fortress of peace in the sand, which is a big, soft blanket with a parasol guarding her from the sun. Her usual shades sit on her nosebridge. Her choice of swimwear is made of a pair of dark blue swimming trunks with rubber ducks all over it, and a bikini top that looked eerily like her usual sports bra. You on the other hand were...running late.

Ringo sat down next to her and offered her a muffin from the big bag he packed full of food, while Akemi and Taigen started to splash eachother in the water.

"You're more quiet than usual." Ringo comments with a slight smile, munching on a muffin himself. Mizu sighs and takes a bite of hers.

"It's stressful." She says with a shrug. "We're close, very close...but somehow not close enough. Like...how do you ask someone to be your girlfriend?" Mizu says to her bestfriend, looking up at the big guy from under her shades.

Ringo purses his lips as she stares ahead, thinking about it. "Say..."Will you be my girlfriend?" I think that would work." Mizu facepalms.

"Well, yeah, obviously, dumbass." She says, throwing her head back with a groan. "But the other stuff. Like...atmospehere, timing, mood...and how do I know she likes me enough to make that step?" She rambles. "It's obvious I like her, I told her I loved her once! What if she thinks I'm desperate? I mean, yeah I am...but I don't want her to know."

Ringo looks back at her, like she just confused his little brain even more, which she did. "Then wait for her to ask?" He suggest, and before Mizu could answer and tell him that it would be a terrible idea, because what if you never ask, you arrive, almost on cue.

You are...indeed wearing a bikini. And Jesus Christ, Mizu's breathing almost stops alltogether. Yeah, she slept with you once, and saw more intimate parts of your body than your belly button and cleavage, but this is different. You have your heart shaped sunglasses covering your eyes. She remembers those glasses, and she can feel her stomach twist in a not-so-bad way. She gives you sublte little wave as you approach, but before you could get to her, Ringo raids you.

"Woah, hey! I'm Ringo! You must've heard a lot about me from Mizu, since I'm her number one friend! I'm sure we'll get along great!" He chirps excitedly. Mizu needs to hold back the urge to burry herself in the sand and never come out. But to her surprise, you just laugh.

"How charming! Hey to you too, Ringo." You shake his nub. Mizu noticed that you find a lot of things cute and charming that Mizu would find cringe or lame. Maybe because you're more easy going. You walked to Mizu's little fortress, and offered her a smile. "And hey to you, hermit." You chuckled, kneeling on her blanket. Miz could feel her heartbeat fasten, having you so close. She should've gotten used to it by now, but she was convinced she never will.

"Hey." She said with a small, almost unnoticalbe smile. "You look...good." She complimented you, her gaze falling to your breasts for half a second, but her shades were keeping her safe.

"Thanks. Got this one just a week ago." You say, slightly pulling at you bikini top's strap. "You don't look halfbad yourself." You say playfully, then grab a beachball from the mountain of bags placed next to the blanket. "You know how to play?" You look at Ringo, then back at her. Ringo nods enthuistacally, and Mizu shrugs. Of course she knows how to play. She is in the school's basketball team, she is very good at ball games, but she needs to stay humble. That's hot, right?

"We need one more player though to make it even." You say, and just like that, as if smelling a challenge, Taigen appears.

"Well, lucky for you," He starts, putting his fist on his chest. "The champion has arrived." Mizu rolls her eyes, and you just gasp dramatically. Akemi sits down on the blanket. "You go ahead, I'll be the judge I guess."

And with that, the match if the decade started. You were on a team with Taigen, and Mizu teamed up with Ringo. She wanted to be on the same team as you, but Taigen snatched you up first. That bastard.

"Don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're pretty." Mizu says, warming up her shoulders on the other side of the web.

"Complimenting me won't save your ass." You tease back with a wink.

"Wait, no, that's not what-" Mizu suddenly realized the meaning of her words, but before she could try and ramble herself out of it, the game started with Taigen serving. It went all well, since Mizu could block all of Taigen's hits, but when you were the one sending the ball her way? The woman froze.

Everyime you jumped up to hit the ball, your whole body bounced, especially that part that she couldn't take her eyes off of. The little victory punch you gave to the air after you scored, the way your hair stuck to your forehead because you started sweating, and the way you threw yourself at the ground to catch the ball last minute, making your soft body squish against the sand...it mesmerized Mizu.

It was obvious you took the game seriously, but sadly not as seriously as Taigen, who basically started beating his chest like a gorilla when he scored. The strategy was simple: Ringo would take your hits, and Mizu would block and eliminate Taigen's. It all went jolly for a good while of the game, until your bikini top slipped, revealing your underboob. You though nobody noticed, so you quickly pulled it back into place, But someone did notice. And that someone couldn't focus on anything else during the rest of the game.

The results came out with you and Taigen on top, but only by two points. It was infuriating as hell to watch Taigen give you a double high five, but you looked happy, and that made Mizu content. She was watching the scene, until Ringo nudged her.

"Now. Mood, and uh...vibe! All good. Do it now." He tried to whisper, but he was really excited. It took Mizu a moment to realize what he was talking about, and when she did, she gave him a determined nod. She marched to you, her cheeks burning, and a frown on her face that could be described as angry, but it was just a sign of her taking this seriously.

"You did good." She says, lifting her shades off her face, putting them up into her hair.

"Thanks. You two weren't bad either. You just decided to play against champions." You shrug playfully.

"So uh...I saw an ice cream booth over there. I could buy you one as a winning prize, or something." She offers, shoving one of her hands into the pocket of her swimming trunks. Her voice came out breathy, on one part from just finishing the game, and on the other...well...

"Free ice cream? Hell yeah!" You say enthusiastically, and get going. Mizu just follows you. Taigen stays there, looking confused for a second.

You stand there, staring at the different flavours of ice cream. "Mmm...I think I'll go with mint chocolate chip." You say, tilting your head, still considering it. "Or bubblegum!"

"You could get both." Mizu shrugs. You're very particular about your icecream, it seems. It's good to know. If she manages to score another date with you, she'll bring you to a pastry shop instead of an aquarium.

"Really? Awsome!" You celebrate to yourself. "What are you getting?" You ask, leaning closer to her. Mizu gulps.

"I'll just...have vanilla." She says, doing her damn best not to look at your lips that are so close. She whishes she could be on that level with you where casual kisses are a thing.

"Vanilla? Well that's a little...boring." You chuckle. "I think you'd like coconut." You say, pointing at the similar colored ice cream. The fact that you're comfortable enough to decide what could she like is so...so...

"Yeah, sure." Mizu shrugs again. She pays for the icecream, but doesn't start walking back to the others yet. "Here," She starts walking towards the part of the shore where big rocks could give some privacy. You follow her, kitty-licking your ice cream. That movement reminds her---fuck. Why is she acting like a hormone filled twelve year old?

As she stares at you while walking, you're staring at the water. She follows your gaze, and starts watching the water too. The waves and the foam splash against the sky, and the clouds hover above, now lightly pink and orange tinted from the sun almost setting.

Suddenly, you point at the sand: you spotted a jellyfish that got thrown out by the water. "Look!" You rush to it, and crouch down by it's side. "Do you think it's still alive. It's still wet."

"Yeah, like me when I'm near you." is what Mizu wants to say, but instead she just follows you. "I'dunno." You seem to worry about the jellyfish, which is...sweet. It's just a jellyfish to Mizu, but to you? It's already named Fred and has a twelve page backstory. Mizu, in an attemt to not let your mood get ruined, takes off her sunglasses, and places them on the jellyfish.

"Damn. I think he's still alive, he seems pretty fresh to me. Drippy, even." Mizu snorts, and you push her, making her land on her butt as you laugh with her.

"Oh my god...you're horrible." You say, your beautiful smile returning. Even if she landed on her ass, a win is a win. Mizu takes back her shades and throws the jellyfish back in the water.

Mizu then takes a deep breath. She looks at you, her blue eyes shining in the orange-ish light. She steps closer, and lightly takes your hand. She wants to make it seem like it's a casual thing, but her heart is drumming against her ribcage. She then pushes her already melting icecream close to your lips. "Wanna taste?" She ask.

You chuckle. She's adorable. You lean closer, and take a big lick off her treat. You notice that the white ice cream has already melted to her hand. You lightly take her wrist. "You're so messy." You say teasingly and start licking the ice cream off her fingers. Mizu's breath hitches as she watches your tongue work on her skin, licking her lips unconsciously.

"You're so fucking beautiful like that." She blurts out, her other hand coming up to gently cup your cheek.

You smile up at her, licking up the cone. That was the greenlight you needed. You move your head up, and push your lips against her. You taste like coconut, as she opens her lips, inviting in your tongue. Her hand lands on your hips, leading you more behind a bigger rock, away from the all the prying eyes. She lightly grips the soft tissue on your hips, her fingers cautiously wandering towards your ass as you devour her lips. She slowly pushes you against the rock. You already ate your ice cream, and her's is melted completely, it's soggy cone laying alone in the sand as her hands move up to cup your breasts.

"I wanted to do this ever since that stupid match..." She murmurs into the kiss, her finger's finding your nipples through your bikini top.

You grin against her lips, slowly exchanging positions until her back is against the rock. You run your finger's along her skin, feeling up the exposed muscles. Her abs basically guided your hand along to trace their shape, then guided your hand downwards. You undid her swimming trunks and got on your knees before her.

Mizu looks at you, almost hypnotized by how good you look on your knees. Before she could react, you pull her trunks down, and teasingly lick her folds. Mizu pushes her palm against her lips to silence the loud groan that wanted to escape her lips. You chuckled against her flesh, closing your eyes as you started to do your work. Mizu's long, slender finger's got lost in your hair, keeping your head in place as she chewed on the inside of her cheek to hold back her noise.

She mumbles you name over and over, her hips lightly bucking into your mouth. "F-Fuck...fuck, I love you..." She blurts out in a half moan, half whine. Is it the best time to say it? Not really. But is that stopping her? No. She is too filled with passion and her feelings are bubbling over the edge. "I have loved you...f-for so long...p-please..." She whines silently. "I...I-I want you t'be mine..so damn bad...oh God..."

You look up at her, her juices dripping down your chin. You then suddenly stick out your tongue, pushing it inside her walls. Mizu bites into her palm to keep quiet.

"You're so fucking cute..." You mumble into her, repeatedly pulling and pushing your tongue in and out. Your nose rubs against her clit, making it hard to keep standing.

"M'gonna cum...f-fuck, keep going..." Mizu groans, bucking her hips even more into your mouth.

You can feel her walls clench around your tongue as she reaches her climax, holding your mouth open so her juices basically slip down your throat withouth swallowing. After she comes down from her high, you pull away, wiping your lips with the back of her hand, pulling her swimming trunks back into place. You get up from your kneeling position and give her a sloppy kiss.

"D'ya mean it?" You murmur into the kiss, your arms wrapping around her neck.

Mizu's lost in the kiss. She doesn't even think about the fact that she should be freaking out right now. "Meant every fucking word...I want to be your girlfriend." She says, her hands hugging your waist.

And with that...Mizu returned home that day a taken woman. She listened to the playlists she made you (psst!), and somehow heard every song in a new light.

[bumblesimagines]

i just like having sex with you sometimes. that's all. let's set some ground rules. so… how do we do this? Sarah Cameron

i just like having sex with you sometimes. that's all.

let's set some ground rules.

so… how do we do this?

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

and so the sequel becomes a holy trinity

Sarah Cameron was a pretty girl. Everyone knew it, whether they acknowledged it with awe, envy, or lust, everyone knew the Cameron genes worked like magic. The button nose, the full lips, the sun-kissed skin, the luscious hair that was a mix of blonde and brown strands, the dark brown eyes. The talk of the town, the pretty princess of Figure Eight, the beloved darling of the Cameron family. Sarah Cameron had no business being in the Cut. Hell, she had no business hanging out with JJ's troublemaking friends. She had no business seeking him out, and no business lying in the bed of a Maybank. Funny how the world worked, (Y/N) thought. 

Maybanks and Camerons weren't supposed to mix. They were from two different worlds. And yet...

Between the altercation between JJ and their father and Barry's rage over being jumped and robbed, (Y/N) had an ever-growing headache. He found himself glad JJ had beaten their father into near silence and fucked off before (Y/N) could get home, although he'd left him to patch their father up and deal with quiet, angered mutterings. His father luckily seemed either too exhausted or too drunk to bother him much, leaving him to spend his free day in his room listening to music while he gathered the will to get a Tylenol and step out into the world. He could use a drink or two or three. Maybe he'd stop by a bar and listen to Barracuda Mike's tales about his international dealings until the alcohol knocked him unconscious. 

Following in Daddy Dearest's footsteps. Typical.

His father staggered into the doorway, slamming his fist twice against the old wooden door with a sneer. (Y/N)'s heart skipped a beat and he tentatively paused the music, eyeing the subtle way his father swayed from side to side. Nobody could make him revert to childhood like Luke did, back when he'd cradle a crying JJ while JJ's mom and Luke got into screaming matches over one thing or the other. "Mind tellin' me why the hell there's a Cameron standin' on our goddamn porch? I don't want no problems with Ward, (Y/N)." 

"Jesus," (Y/N) exhaled, pulling the earbuds from his ears and standing up. "Which Cameron, Dad? The idiot or the chick?"

"The chick." Fuckin' Camerons. Fuckin' Sarah. "If Ward catches wind of his little girl strutting aroun' here half-naked-"

"What are you even talking about?" (Y/N) tossed his phone aside and sucked his teeth, slipping past his father and hearing those familiar heavy footsteps follow him to the front door. Sure enough, there stood Sarah Cameron, her head tilted out toward the marsh and arms folded over her bare stomach. Christ. 

"I want no problems. Understood, boy?" Luke hissed in his ear, moving past him and sparing the blonde a glance before he walked toward his truck. (Y/N) inhaled deeply and ran a hand over his face, finding relief in the fact his father coincidentally needed to head into town under the guise of an errand, when they both knew Luke only ran 'errands' when he needed a hit of something strong. Probably needed something to take his mind off the bruises on his face. 

"I shouldn't have to explain why showing up here, on the Cut, dressed in a bikini top and shorts is a shit idea, Sarah." 

"I was going to the beach with some- whatever, it doesn't matter. I... I wanted to talk about the other day, alright? You know, when you basically yelled at me-" 

"Yeah, yeah, okay. Next time, instead of showing up, you get my number from one of the Pogues and you text me, alright? The guys my dad hangs out with call girls like you jailbait, Sarah. They're sleazy fucks who couldn't care less about where you come from." (Y/N) huffed, but regardless, he pushed the front door open enough for her to step inside, eyes following the cloud of dust left behind by his father's truck as it sped down the road. 

The Maybank's home was hardly anything to look at but (Y/N) managed to keep it clean, at least whenever Hurricane Luke didn't pass through. The general upkeep, and frankly everything else, fell on his shoulders with JJ gone half the time and Luke too intoxicated to care about the world around him. Just about every piece of furniture was old, passed down from Maybank to Maybank without so much as a repair or restoration. At the very least, trying to fix the broken things at a young age had given him some pretty decent skills. He couldn't do much about the holes in the walls and doors, though. 

"It's my day off, Sarah. I'd like to spend it without stressing over any of the bullshit that's been going on the past couple of days, 'kay? Say your piece and go off with your boytoy, princess. I want to have a beer in hand by noon so make it quick." (Y/N) sat back on the armrest of the worn couch, crossing his arms and watching the girl study her surroundings. Sarah slipped her tote bag off her shoulder and set it on another seat, leaning back against the barely used dining table. Great. Definitely wasn't going to be quick.

"I didn't appreciate you getting in my face, for starters. It was rude and unnecessary and I wasn't even given a chance to explain our side of the story. We found the gold in the Crain house and we went to your job thinking you were there. You weren't, obviously. The old lady and Barry were and they set us up. Barry held us at gunpoint and tried robbing us. We defended ourselves. JJ went rogue and robbed Barry. We told him not to." Sarah kept her arms crossed as she spoke, finishing with a light shrug and slightly jutted lips. "I'm not a thief and I'm not a liar, either. I wanted to set the story straight." 

"You could've found diamonds or emeralds or rubies in that old ass house, and I still would've been pissed about this treasure hunt continuing. Big John is dead and you know how he died? Treasure hunting. John B wants to die like his dad? Fine by me. I stopped liking him a long time ago. But JJ? The idiot that I spent my whole life raising? I'm gonna make sure that little shit dies of old age. If you want to merrily march into danger with Routledge, fine, go for it. Keep my brother out of it."

"Why do you keep bringing JB up as if I like him? I already told you John B isn't my boyfriend. He's my friend, and yes, I care about him. I-I want to see him happy and that's why I'm helping him but-"

"Is that the only reason you're helping him?" (Y/N) asked, rising from the armrest and taking slow steps toward the blonde. Her brows lifted slightly and her lips twitched, slowly curling upward into that little smile despite how much she tried resisting it. She looked away from him defiantly and clicked her tongue, eyes trailing back toward him.

"Are you suggesting I became friends with John B just to see you? Quite the ego you've got, Maybank. I said I liked you, not that I'm obsessed with you." Her voice softened, laced with playfulness and a hint of mischief, her previous irritation (if she'd even been irritated to begin with) long gone. 

"I was gonna say you wanted to piss off Carrera but if that's the first thing that came to mind..." He trailed off, hearing her scoff in soft disbelief before she swatted at his shoulder halfheartedly. She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips slightly, peering up at him through her dark lashes. 

"You're a dick." She murmured, not nearly as offended as the last time she'd uttered those words.

"Yeah," He dipped down slightly, hands finding the back of her thighs and fingers digging into the warm plushness of her skin. Her hands landed on his shoulders, soft giggles leaving her as he lifted her onto the table, the wood creaking softly under the added weight. One hand slid up from his shoulder and curled around his neck, the tip of her nails slightly scraping against his skin. Sarah's skin flushed. "And the sky's blue."

"But what else is new, right?" Her lips stretched out into a smile before she leaned in, pressing them against his as his hands moved from her thighs to her hips, half his palms pressing against her skin and the other half against her denim shorts. He pulled her closer until she'd gone flush against him, her legs wrapping loosely around him. Her arm curled around his shoulder and her head tilted to the side, a muffled, flustered giggle leaving her when his teeth lightly dug into her bottom lip. His hand moved and pressed flat against her exposed back, trailing upward until his fingers found the bottom straps of the olive green bikini. With one swift tug, they went undone. 

There was a dizzying aspect to making out with a Cameron, he'd come to realize. Maybe it was the knowledge that her father could be considered one of the most influential men on the island or that his life could change for better or worse with just a word from her. It was an intoxicating feeling if he had to be honest. Sarah seemed to feel similarly considering her fingers dug into him and pulled him as close as possible, her breath escaping her in soft pants. She leaned back briefly and pulled her hands away, dipping them under her hair and undoing the straps keeping the bikini on her. She tossed it aside blindly and mushed their lips together again, arms coiling around him and body slightly lifting itself onto him. His hands returned to her thighs and he lifted her again, letting muscle memory kick in as he found his way back to his bedroom.

He really needed to stop hanging out with the Pogues. They were messing with his judgment.

At the very least, he'd spent his free day doing something fun, even if regret began to dig into his back. He was a Maybank. He lived up to the asshole playboy part of his family's reputation 'cause there was nothing better than messing around to take the stress off, but he never enjoyed toying with someone's heart. He'd made a rule in middle school after his first heartbreak to never knowingly get involved with anyone who actually liked him. The first time with Sarah hadn't broken that rule but now... 

"Can I ask what we are or will that ruin your mood?" Sarah's voice piped up, her lips dragging lightly over his shoulder. His fingertip ran up and down her spine, feeling the goosebumps along her skin while he stared at the ceiling. It felt grounding to have weight pressing him against the bed, even if it was Sarah Cameron of all people. 

"I just like having sex with you sometimes. That's all." He answered and she shifted, hands planting themselves on either side of his head and body lifting itself up slightly. Her hair tumbled down her shoulders, the ends tickling his cheek. 

"Sometimes?" She repeated with an arched brow. "You want to do this more often?"

"You're not bad for a virgin." He murmured. 

"Not one anymore, remember?" 

"Yeah, I remember." His hand moving along her back dipped under the covers that'd pooled around her hips, squeezing the skin hiding underneath. She flushed immediately and lowered herself back onto him, burying her warmed face in his neck and huffing. "You were pretty loud-"

"Okay." She groaned and lifted her head again, her reddened cheeks puffed out slightly. "So… how do we do this? Have you done this before?"

"Yeah, until she and I had a pregnancy scare. It was enough to make us block each other." (Y/N) answered, pushing himself up slightly and against the wall behind his pillows. Her legs tangled around his further, and her eyes widened at the revelation. "Let's set some ground rules. I'm going to give you my number and you'll use it whenever you want to see me. If anyone asks, it's just to keep in touch about JJ. Routledge probably thinks you've got the hots for him so I'd prefer if you didn't tell him or Thornton. Let those two go at each other. If you want to be spontaneous like today, you bring protection. I really don't need a little bastard running around right now." 

"I've been on birth control since freshmen year. Rose insisted on it."

"Good for you. My mom was on it when she decided to fuck around and find out and here I am now." He raised his brows at her. "Anyways... don't get your hopes up for anything, Sarah. I mean it. If you don't think you can handle it, that's fine. We're supposed to be having fun, not getting hurt by disappointment."

[lovelyjj]

Can you write a JJ maybank x reader where reader lived in the outer banks her whole life, but is kind of scared of water when it comes to swimming (basically can’t swim) and on a boat or at a beach party or something someone jokingly shoves her into the water and no one’s doing anything bc it’s like, how could she not know how to swim? But JJ catches on and saves her? That would be amazinggg ❤️

Diver Down

jj maybank x reader

wc: 1,027

**some dialogue from season 1: episode 1**

The weather was nice making it a good day to go out on the boat. The sun was warm on your skin and the air was crisp. After John B picked everyone up, you and the pogues were ready for a boat day.

You sailed through the marsh and JJ said, "Let me show you a party trick."

"I got this. It's gonna work."

JJ than proceeded to hold his beer bottle out in front of him, rim pointed at his mouth and had his mouth open.

The beer flew everywhere and you were laughing.

Suddenly, the boat came to abrupt halt and JJ was flung off the boat.

"Jesus Pope!" Kie exclaimed.

After you recovered from sliding forward you asked, "You okay JJ?"

"I think my heels touched the back of my head," JJ commented.

"You ok y/n?" John B asked.

"I'm fine. Thanks."

"Pope, what did you do?" JJ questioned.

"Sandbar. The channel changed." Pope said.

"No shit." JJ exclaimed.

Pope was standing up staring at the water when he said,"Guys I think there's a boat down there."

"Shut up."

"No way."

"No, no, guys. I'm serious. There's a boat down there."

"It's a boat," Pope pointed.

"Holy shit, he's right. let's go." Kiara commented.

Everyone jumped into the water to go and check out the boat. You stayed where you were sitting on the HMS pogue.

When everyone resurfaced from the water they were all buzzed.

"You guys saw that right." JJ exclaimed.

"Yeah I did." Kiara voiced.

"That's a Grady-White. A new one of those is like 500 Gs, easy." JJ announced.

Everyone climbed back on the boat.

"Why didn't you come down with us?" Kiara asked.

"I didn't want to get my hair wet," you lied.

Kiara looked at you skeptical but then let it go.

John b was digging out the anchor when JJ announced, "Well, i'm not resuscitating you. I'm just making that clear up front."

You started getting up to see John B dive but what you didn't expect was to see him making his way towards you.

"Diver down," John B speaks. Then he pushed you into the water.

You were in the middle of saying "what" when you were pushed into the water. Your words drown out by the splash.

Everyone was laughing and waiting for you to surface. However, you were struggling and no one seemed to notice except JJ.

You were slipping under the water and it was filling into your mouth making it hard to breathe.

"Y/N!" "Y/N!" JJ called out to you.

But you were drowning and couldn't hear JJ let alone answer him.

JJ saw the situation unfold and was quick to dove into the water to save you. JJ swam out to you. When he reached you he started to panic. He didn't know what to do or how to help.

When he saw you submerged under the water he acted on instinct. He swiftly came to your rescue. He got a hold of you in the water and lifted you up.

"Stay with me y/n. Stay with me." JJ yelled.

JJ carried you to the boat. Somewhat struggling to swim with you in his arms. Kiara had her hand out and you took it. She hoisted you up back on the boat.

JJ got himself back on the boat.

"Holy shit y/n i'm so sorry." John B apologized.

You were bent over coughing up a storm.

"It's okay John B you didn't know." Your voice came out hoarse.

"You scared the shit out of me." JJ expressed.

You gave JJ a exasperated look.

"JB your an idiot!" JJ exclaimed.

"Hey man I really am sorry," John B trailed off.

JJ went in search of a blanket. When he found one he made his way over to you. He wrapped you up in a blanket and rubbed your arms over the blanket.

"Let me warm you up," JJ spoke.

"JJ your soaking wet too."

"Never mind that."

JJ came and sat down next to you. You felt grateful for JJ, grateful that he saved you. You found a new appreciation for him. He has always been there for you right when you needed him.

"Thank you for saving me J."

"It's no problem baby. I'm just glad your alright," JJ spoke.

baby.

He calls you that sometimes and it makes your stomach flip. You turned towards JJ and gave him one of your breathtaking smiles.

JJ's heart just about stopped from the way you were looking at him. When you were looking at him like that, how could he not be in love.

JJ put his arm around you and you snuggled into his warmth. The other pogues were distracted doing other things keeping their attention elsewhere, giving you two privacy.

With the pogues looking away, JJ released his arm around you and began to cup your face. He used his thumb to stroke your cheek. JJ's heart was palpitating and he was excited and eager to kiss you.

The kiss however was tentative and delicate. JJ placed his lips on yours so they were pressing against each other. You were both tasting one another.

The kiss than grew hungry and heated. Your lips moving against each other. Suddenly JJ slid his hand back into your hair. He tugged on the strands allowing your mouth to open in a gasp.

JJ's tongue entered your mouth in a needy rush. JJ was oozing confidence in the kiss. You were surprised when his tongue greeted you. Your tongues started to lap each other up.

Eventually, the need for air was increasing. You gently pulled back and took a big breath. Your cheeks were burning as you looked up at JJ.

JJ's palms were sweating. He removed his hand from your face and rested it on your knee. 

"Y/n, I'm in love with you and I have been for so long I just could never find the right words or right time to tell you. I'm so sorry it took me so long."

"JJ your all I ever wanted. I love you too."

"Finally!" Kiara exclaimed.

[noellawrites]

Not Much of a Life - Yandere!Carmy Berzatto x reader

summary: on the run from your small town, you find a job waitressing at the newly reopened restaurant, The Bear. but you have no idea what's in store when the owner develops an obsession with you.

warnings: rape, breeding kink, stalking, obsession, domestic violence mention.

Armed with coffee in one hand and red-circled newspaper in the other, you made your way down Orleans Street. Right now, your mission was to check out two job listings: a vacuum store and a vape store. Online, they both looked a bit shabby, but you couldn’t be too picky.

As you looked around, a half-constructed storefront caught your eye. Even with the letters taken down, you could see the sun-bleached remnants on the sign: The Original Beef of Chicagoland.

Cupping your eyes, you stared through the glass. Two white men, one around your age and one a few decades older, argued as they worked together to move a countertop.

A girl around your age with long locs tied in a bandana stood on a ladder, laughing at the men as she painted over the dirty white walls.

You could see a flurry of activity in the kitchen, too. It looked like about ten people were working on various building and electrical pursuits in order to revamp The Beef.

Without a second thought, you banged on the glass and caught the attention of the two arguing men.

The older one with facial hair swung the door open, almost hitting you.

"Uh, hello! I saw you guys were working in here and I was wondering if you might be hiring?" you asked sheepishly, as the man frowned at you.

"No, sorry sweetheart," he said, pulling the door closed.

"Jesus, cousin, don't be an asshole," the other guy, with lots of tattoos and piercing blue eyes, said as he grabbed the door.

"You got any experience?"

"I waited tables in high school, I can make coffee and cook some basic stuff," you offered.

"We need a waitress. Come back next Saturday, we'll be getting ready to open. You got a phone?" He said all in one breath, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, here," you said, handing your phone to the man as he entered in his contact information.

"My schedule's open, I can basically work anytime. I could really use the money," you explained.

"Good, 'cause I'm sure as hell not lettin' Richie wait on customers anymore," he said, earning a "hey!" from the older man.

"Thank you--" you began, looking down at your phone as he handed it back to you, "Carmy. My name's (y/n), it's nice to meet you." You said, outstretching your hand to shake.

The moment your hands touched, you felt a jolt, almost like a spark. "I'll see you in a week," Carmy said, as you stared into his gorgeously blue eyes.

You nodded, stepping back and walking towards the L stop.

--

Carmy Berzatto had never felt like this, ever. He was always too busy to fall in love, moving from one thing to the next, perfecting his art, running the restaurant. Instead, he told himself he was perfectly fine with jerking off to meaningless porn on the nights he felt a little lonely. But that night, his mind was preoccupied with something entirely different: you.

He practically counted down the hours until you returned for your first day, the day before the grand opening of The Bear.

He found the perfect uniform for you at Goodwill. A professional dress in the same dark blue as the kitchen's aprons. It was the right size but he asked Sugar to hem it anyway, selfishly wanting to see the skin of your thighs as you carried out your duties.

Once you put the dress on, you grinned and threw your arms around Carmy, telling him how much you loved it and couldn't wait to get to work.

At family meal, you learned about the employees' lives and they asked about yours. You confessed that you were currently sleeping on your friend's couch in her apartment downtown. You'd recently moved from a small Midwestern town, wanting to experience life in the city. Your money was running low, and it had been difficult to find a job in Chicago post-covid. But nonetheless, you were excited to be there.

You felt everyone's eyes on you, analyzing your words and behavior. You'd obviously been pulled in by the glamour of city life, but hadn't been ready for reality's smack in the face.

--

The first few months of work had lulled you into a routine. Wake up, get dressed, run to the L train, ride it to the east side, walk to The Bear, all while it was still pitch-black outside. In the evenings, you did it all again, sometimes stopping at a bar before heading back to your friend's apartment.

You'd just been approved for your own place, a cheap studio apartment in an area close to The Bear. You really did love your job, despite Carmy acting a bit odd towards you. You figured he was still adjusting to managing the restaurant.

You had no idea that you'd slowly consumed Carmy Berzatto's thoughts, his life, his very being.

His every waking moment was filled with thoughts of you. You, pulling your dress off for him. Stomach round from his seed, a new maternity dress, waiting tables while heavily pregnant. Raising his children, taking them to their Aunt Sugar's. Pinning you against the wall, screaming at you. Punching the drywall beside you, making you flinch. Tears running down your face as he takes what belongs to him. You didn't have much of a life anyways. A couch-surfing runaway with drugstore makeup and hair filled with dry shampoo. You only had a life because of his generosity.

--

Your first date with Carmy was at a bar down the street. It was after work but you'd both lied about it, not wanting everyone to know you both shit where you ate.

You didn't even make it to the bar, just to the alley next to it. The stench of garbage filled your nostrils as Carmy unbuckled his pants and unzipped his fly.

You started to protest but Carmy clamped a hand over your mouth as he fished his dick out of his underwear.

"I've wanted this since the day I met you. God, I can't believe I waited this long. Cousin told me I had to take what I fuckin' want, ‘n you're mine now.”

You tried to scream and push Carmy away, eyes wide with fear. Carmy stuffed his fingers in your mouth, pressing harder and effectively muffling you.

You choked on his fingers at the back of your throat as his penis entered your vagina with a violent push. It was one of the most painful things you'd ever experienced, and you were paralyzed with fear.

You could see the outline of his muscles and the tattoos on his arms as he jerked into you, violating you with every push. Tears clouded your eyes and you prayed that he would stop soon. Your stomach tightened with fear and unwilling pleasure as Carmy released inside of you with a groan. You came soon after, whimpering on his fingers in your mouth as you shuddered in pleasure.

"I knew you wanted me. Without me, you'd be on the fucking streets," he snarled into your ear in a cruel tone you'd never heard before.

You had seeped into the cracks between Carmy's nightmares from New York, filling his head with softness and pleasure. He couldn't just dream about you anymore, he needed the real thing. And now, you didn't have much of a choice.

[nvoirs]

I have a request ✨: you and Leon are agents, this kinda takes place in re4. You got bit and your Luis cures you. But this leaves a bit of a mark on your arm, so you and Leon get matching tattoos. Something cute and fluffy.

-

Thanks in advance ✨🩶

Disclaimers: mentions of blood and torn flesh.

Note: I love this so much mwahah.

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

“Shit one of those dogs got me.”

You surveyed the bloody mark on your arm, the dog had bitten into the flesh crimson blood dribbling down into the crease of your elbow. Wincing at the pain when Leon grabbed your arm in a hurry, watching the blood ooze out.

“Jesus, you just saw this now?”

“Yeah, I didn’t really feel anything before.”

Luis overheard the two of you speaking making his way over from the chair he was sitting on beforehand.

“Ah those dogs are nothing to worry about, you cannot be infected by their mouths.” He pulled out an ointment brandishing it in front of your eyes.

“This will help stop the bite from getting worse, but it may leave a nasty scar”

You nodded, allowing Luis to take a hold of your arm, you looked at Leon gesturing to the bag with your head.

“Hey there’s some first aid shit in there, I was ordered to bring some just in case of an emergency. There should be some wipes and bandages in there.”

He mumbled an alright before hurriedly pulling the needed supplies from the bag, pushing them towards Luis.

-

Eventually when the whole Las Plagas ordeal had blown over, and you had safely brought home the president’s daughter in one piece the bandage still remained on your arm. It was kept there for another week or two changing the bandage every couple of days, before you had decided to remove it altogether.

Just as Luis had mentioned there was indeed a nasty mark that had been left behind. You grimaced because how on earth would you be able to wear clothes showing your arms now? Without people seeing the mark, maybe you could just say it was a birthmark?

You groaned as you told Leon about it when he came home from the store, he dropped the bag of groceries on the countertop before making his way over to you. Joining you on the couch he hummed as he stared at the weird coloured mark racking his brain for thoughts.

“Hey, I know why don’t you get a tattoo to cover it?”

“I don’t know Leon, I’m not really a tattoo person.”

He grinned at that opening his mouth, “Well maybe I could also get a matching one, a bit cliche but It’ll be nice you know?”

Oh gosh was he so cute, couldn’t even believe you had landed yourself such a sweetheart. Leon could put on that big tough guy facade in front of others like putting on a plastic bag but to you he could never, and the only thing he showed towards you was his thoughtful kindness and passion. The real Leon you could say.

“I’d love that Leon, as cliche as it sounds.” he nudged you calling a ‘hey’ in your ear and you just laughed at him gripping the bulging bicep around your shoulder.

A sun and a moon. Not too cheesy over all but the moon on your mid arm covered the scar perfectly, and it was beautiful. It matched Leon’s sun as you smiled at him.

“I just had to make you take the sun one, because you remind me of it.”

“I remind you of the sun?”

You nodded, “yeah just the way you cheer me up, and your hair.. It’s even the same colour basically.” you snickered.

He let an O as he brought you into a playful headlock making you squeal, and nothing could ruin this sweet moment.

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror House Reacts: To Bubba Hugging Them.

Warnings: Its crack.

~

Billy Loomis: *Thinking* 'Holy s h i t. Leatherface is gonna kill me.'

Carrie White: *Nervous* "Ohh, Bubba!... haha... Are you- Are you okay? Um... " *Gives in after a moment, burying her head in Bubba's soft warm chest.* "Thank you Bubba... " // She doesn't care about the smell or the rotten flesh- she is so affection starved!!

Chucky Lee Ray: "... Put me the fuck down or lose your teeth. Its your choice. And also- jesus fucking christ, Bubs, take a shower."

Freddy Krueger: *Thinking, because his face is mushed into Bubba* '... this is how I die. Huh. Suffocated by a FAT GUY'S TITS- '

Jason Voorhees: Jason doesn't really cuddle him back because he is not physically affectionate- but this is his brother and he loves him, so he very calmly gives his back a pat. Like yeah I got you. You alright? Did someone hurt you? Does he need to kill someone?

Jennifer Check: "Oh, god, Bubba- you stink like raw meat left out in the sun marinating in ass sweat all fucking day- let me go!"

Jerry Dandridge: *Sighhh* "Okay buddy bring it in, but ah... a quick one, okay? Because this is cashmere, and I have a dinner date- "

Michael Myers: Oh Bubba you have nerve. He doesn't move, obviously, but um... he is not pleased.

Pamela Voorhees: True class, here. She doesn't even flinch, gives him a pat on the back and a smile, and offers him a cookie. He's a good boy, just like her Jason.

Patrick Bateman: *So so close to flipping out... standing there stiff as a board with Bubba squeezing him... eye twitching... *

Pennywise: *Alarms Bubba by reciprocating and wrapping his arms around... and around... and around and around and around Bubba until he's basically ensnared by elongated clown arms, cackling.*

Stu Macher: Initiates the hug. Chucks his arms out, like, "C'MERE, BUBBA! GIMMIE THAT SNUGGLE." Look, Stu is over the moon to meet his idols XDD I mean, he'd prefer to get a hug outta Michael or Freddy... but that seems unlikely... so he is getting that cuddle outta Bubba XD

Tiffany Valentine: Just thinking 'What would Martha Stuart do, what would Martha Stuart do, what would Martha Stuart do- '

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 19 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Hold on, alchemy?? I vaguely remember someone saying that they read Secrets of Alchemy and one of the main scholars was Prince Khalid or something? And now Sam learned some Alchemy while looking into the Magnus Institute???

So the Protocol is like...A thing??? Something that can be enacted, like a law, almost? And it was around back in 1684. Not important but...Older than any of our oldest statements in TMA, I think. Which is interesting, I wonder how Chester even got the information. Or FR3-D1, I suppose.

So is the Protocol some sort of...Dastardly alchemy? Like...Frankenstein-esque "creating life" or even bringing people back to life? Because I do think those are the kinds things that were called "Blasphemous" in the 1600s-1700s.

"It was only through the Protocol that we were spared from that Dred emission" Okay, so is Dread a thing we have to keep in mind? I remember for the filing system in the OIAR, one of them is "D" right? It seems like this Protocol is enacted when Things Go Wrong, so is the OIAR basically the people who can enact the Protocol?

"An element of such overwhelming radiance that to look upon it directly was to dazzle the eyes and throw the mind into confusion" I know it's probably not this but it reminds me a bit of both The Spiral but also the sun that Manuela Dominguez made.

I know the name Wilhem from somewhere. He was Gerry's ancestor in TMA ep 23, right? Wilhelm Von Closen?

A small tree??? Wait holy shit this little tree sounds beautiful. Is that concerning to say? IT HAS A FRUIT???? DO NOT EAT IT MF WHAT

Okay so the Latin is translated to, "But you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for on whatever day you eat from it will be the day you die" DUDE DID THIS GUY MAKE A TREE FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN??? IS THIS FRUIT THE FRUIT OF TEMPTATION??? HELLO???

Holy shit. Holy shit did he turn a DOG into a tree AND give it the ability to Know things?? (I don't want to say he made it an Eye avatar because I don't think avatars work the same here)

Okay but why does sound kind of...Beautiful? Like those arts of giant deer creatures in the forest that seem to be made up of just as much of the forest as they are made up of real blood and meat.

He has a cure for it??? Jesus I mean...I don't know what to say I just...Is that dog okay?? I just feel really bad for the dog.

Okay so the Protocol can destroy things that are supernatural, unworldly, etc. And it can be contained or limited to a certain area, depending on the people who enact it.

Also hilariously. It's a Robert writing to a Robert lol.

OUGHHH HE'S ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS YES SAME THE PUTERS ARE LISTENING TO YOU HEHEHEH

"I'm deliberately being given cases that point to The Magnus Institute" I wonder if FR3-D1 wants Sam to keep looking into the institute but Chester (If he is Jon) is trying to keep him away. But he's losing the fight. Additionally, is FR3-D1 possibly the Protocol? Or perhaps, somehow, FR3-D1 has that...Whatever Isaac made...In it and it makes FR3-D1 all knowing?

Alice you can't keep shutting him down like this. You're going to lose him. I kind of understand why Sam is lashing out because I know what it feels like to have someone you really trust tell you that you're crazy when you KNOW you're not.

Obviously, he should have lashed out at Gwen the way he did last episode but Jesus Christ, he just needs someone to listen. Celia is there, but she has her whole thing going on, and I think Sam knows that subconsciously.

So he turns to Alice but she just keeps shutting him down. And I'm pretty she's only being dismissive because she knows something and she wants to keep him safe but she will lose him if she doesn't hear him out.

Okay to be fair. Gwen did ask for this job lol. She could quit anytime she wants it just that my girl is stubborn as fuck.

Oh boy. Yeah Gwen is about to get traumatized AGAIN.

COLIN???? WHO'S HE???? FR3-D1???? COLIN COME BACK HERE WHO IS HE-

Alice is starting to remind me of s1 Jon in the sense that it seems more absurd that she thinks nothing is going on instead of just accepting that things are 50 shades of fucked up.

Edit: I HAD TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT EARLIER SO I ONLY GOT TO LISTENING NOW AND SOMEHOW I MISSED THE MERCURY AND SULFUR FROM COLIN??? HELLO HAS HE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT?? and he's mentioning balance like hello Robert Smirke is that you????

Additionally, I will mention that Cinnabar (a tranquilizer) has both mercury and sulfure in it (Thanks AP Chemistry, I never ended up pursuing you as a degree lol)

[bangtansocean]

Roommate's Prohibited List: Four

Content Table: 01 l 02 l 03 l 04 l 05

FOUR

“So, how’s it been?” Mingyu sips on his iced coffee with curious eyes, his bright lime jacket contrasting with the white and pastel palette of the cafe. 

 Monica takes her coffee in silence, waiting for your reply with eagerness as you haven’t been able to really talk about your new home ever since. 

“They are great guys.” You nod to yourself, setting your warm chocolate down. “The place is absolutely beautiful, and they have been very welcoming.” 

It’s only been a couple of days since you moved in your new place, but things have gone better than you could have hoped for.

The guys have been busy, so they spend most of the time outside of the apartment and don't come back until the sun starts setting. You learnt that Yeonjun is doing his hospital practices during summer to save himself some time before university starts, and that Beomgyu is an orientation week volunteer for the incoming engineers at the university. So you basically have the house for yourself in the mornings, and whenever one of them comes back home, you enjoy their stories as you game together or have a drink on the terrace.  

Mingyu smiles at the news. “They are great guys indeed, I promise it will feel like home in no time!” You thank him with a shy smile. 

“So when am I coming over?!” Monica asks, her eyebrows raised as he blinks dramatically, making you laugh. 

“Well, about that,” Your smile grows bigger. “You can come by anytime. The guys have this system where each roommate gets one friend who gets an extra key and can come by whenever.” You pull the extra key from your purse and place it on the table. “It’s all yours.” 

Monica stares at the key and then back at you, her eyes growing bigger. “Wait really? I get my own set of keys?!” She slowly reaches for the keys and slides them closer to her. 

“Ah yes, the free pass friend.”Mingyu throws his head back laughing. “We’ve had our fair share of horror stories with those.” He sighs, remembering all the crazy hook up drama that happened before he and Yeonjun got girlfriends. “Yeonjun wanted to kill me when he saw his ex coming out of my room.” 

You stare in horror at Mingyu as he shakes his head and laughs at the memory before Monica hits him with her purse. “You slept with your roommate’s ex-girlfriend?! You’re disgusting!” She rolls her eyes as he laughs harder, and you can’t help but watch them in silence, fairly entertained by them. 

“She wasn’t even his girlfriend back then!” He explains, covering himself from another purse attack. “They were best friends! Things got a little messy with me and Yeonjun after that though, because he obviously had feelings for her and well.. I just wanted to fuck her.” He shrugs, gaining another purse slap from Monica. 

“Mingyu!!” She screams. “Jesus Christ! Thank God you found Mei, otherwise you would be infected with who knows how many STD’s by now.” She speaks, her hands moving exasperatedly as she speaks. 

“Yeah, you’re not wrong to be honest.” He shrugs again before picking up his drink again, looking at you once he finishes it. “So are you having the welcome party this weekend? Do you think I’d be able to join for a beer or two?” He speaks again, Monica’s head turning to look at you with questioning eyes. 

“Um.. what welcome party and why have I not heard of this?” Her eyebrow curves up, making you laugh. 

“I was going to mention it before you interrupted me.” You roll your eyes at them. “But yes, they are having a party to meet us,” You point at Monica and yourself repeatedly before turning to Mingyu. “And it’s tomorrow. I can ask Beomgyu, but I’m sure he won’t mind if you swing by.” 

You smile at your friends who nod before changing the subject. Monica complains about how we officially start classes next week, while Mingyu on the other hand, is sharing the struggles of being an adult and his new corporate job. 

“Enough about me, any tea from your side of the table?” Mingyu asks you, and to be completely honest, there has been only one thing bothering you these last few days. 

“I think I need to get laid, guys.” You say quickly, making both of them giggle as you let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m serious! It’s like my body sees a cute guy and immediately forgets how to act! It’s so annoying!” 

You continue to complain to your friends, who listen to your rant attentively as you let everything out. Well, almost everything.

You end up agreeing with Monica that you will go to more uni events in hopes of meeting a cute guy to hook up with, and hopefully help you with the one small detail you decided to keep to yourself. 

“Oh, Mingyu?” A familiar voice resonates behind you. 

You can feel your body temperature drop when Mingyu smiles, standing up to greet the one person you couldn't stop thinking about. 

“Soobin! Fancy seeing you here!” He says in a fake british accent as he steps to the side of the table and hugs the tall guy. You turn your head to look at Monica in distress, but she stares at you in confusion. 

Who’s the guy?, She mouths. And before you can reply back, your name is called by none other than the man himself. 

Every nerve in your body sparks. A tingling sensation washes over you as he calls you by your name for the first time. 

You take a deep breath mentally before turning, a warm smile appearing on your lips as you look up to him, your heart skipping a beat when you find him already smiling back at you brightly.

“How’s everything going?” He places a hand on your shoulder, his eyes lingering on yours. 

“All good,” you manage to say, “settling in pretty well.” 

“I’m glad to hear that,” He replies with a soft nod. You feel extremely nervous not only because of his presence, but because you can feel two pairs of eyes watching you as you try not to malfunction after you confessed your needs to get laid. “I-” 

A phone rings, interrupting Soobin’s train of thought as everyone turns to look to where the noise was coming from.

Your phone. 

“Oh, sorry.” You finally react and pick up the phone, answering it quickly when you see Beomgyu’s name flashing on your screen. “What’s up?”

“I locked myself out,” You can hear the annoyance in his voice, which makes you want to laugh even though you feel bad for him for being in such a situation. 

“Did you lose your key?” You ask now, worried. 

“No. I’m pretty sure I left it on the kitchen counter, ugh this is so annoying!” He grunts. “Are you coming home soon? If not, I can try calling Soobin.” 

“Oh, Soobin is actually next to me.” You say, turning back to him, who is attentively trying to listen to your conversation. “We just ran into each other at the cafe.” You say, now looking at your two confused friends. 

“Did he lock himself out again?” Soobin asks, to which you nod silently. “Classic Gyu.” He laughs before signaling to your phone. 

You offer him the phone and stare at him with curious eyes, amused at how this seems to be a recurrent event. 

“I can be there in 15.” He speaks on the phone, nodding a couple of times before hanging up and giving the phone back to you. “I got it this time, but you should get used to this. It happens all the time.” He rolls his eyes, taking his phone out to type some stuff and then directs his attention back to you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ll go order my coffee and then be on my way.” He turns to look at Mingyu and Monica to whom he bows lightly. “It was nice seeing you guys.” He smiles. He turns around and makes his way to the counter, stealing glances at the table every now and then while in line. 

“Bitch, what was that?” Monica asks deadpan. 

You frown at her question, unsure of what exactly she was referring to, “Huh? What are you talking about?” 

She smirks at you with a teasing expression. “I’m talking about how you almost drooled on the table at the sight of handsome slenderman.” She laughs at her own joke. “Who is the man, and how do you know him?” He turns to Mingyu who gives her a side eye. 

“You don’t know Soobin?” He asks in a sassy tone. “He’s like the smartest guy in the fucking school.” 

“Oh! The guy who’s been promised valedictorian for our graduation since freshman?!” Mingyu nods at Monica's question before both of them continue to small talk. 

You, on the other hand, can't stop facepalming yourself repeatedly. Because of course you couldn’t crush on any other guy.

No. 

You had to crush on a guy who’s known to be the smartest student the school has ever had in 50 years. The guy who, according to all of his friends, is extremely picky and rejected every single girl ever. And the cherry on top of the disaster cake, is that you had to fall for the guy who is number one on your roommates’ prohibited list. 

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

This is a terrible idea, you think to yourself as you finish applying your lipstick in the mirror. 

You check yourself for the tenth time, making sure your outfit is not too much and that it looks nice enough for a casual Saturday date. 

You sit on your bed and tap your feet nervously, the butterflies in your stomach taking over. 

“He should be here any second,” You tell yourself in a whisper, unable to process how you got here in the first place…

-

The welcome party was a success.

The guys bought you your favorite wine, and decorated the living room with cute tiny balloons and a homemade ‘welcome home’ sign. You spent most of the time on the terrace, drinking together as the sun went down. You finally met Huening Kai as well, who seemed to have the same tired-but-cool vibe as Yeonjun. 

Everyone was there: Beomgyu, Yeonjun, Mingyu, Monica, Huening Kai and of course, Soobin. 

At first you couldn’t help feeling extremely nervous, scared of how the guys would feel about Monica, but you immediately relaxed when you noticed how well everyone was getting along. 

You might even dare to say they like her more than they like you, which is a lot. 

You all sat in a circle on the terrace, some of you sitting on the chairs and some on the floor with cushions. The conversations moved smoothly, never having an awkward pause, and everyone laughing at times. You were all talking about the upcoming weekend and how it was our last free one before university officially started. 

“I’m just going to stay in bed until monday to be honest, orientation week wrecked me.” Beomgyu says before taking a sip of his beer. Everyone agreeing with him as they all wanted to relax before starting class.

Well, everyone but Soobin. 

“You guys are so boring!” Soobin exclaims, the red blush of his cheeks getting stronger as he finishes his third beer. “There’s so many fun summer specials, you guys are seriously planning to stay home?” He complains in a pout. 

“Like what, Soobin?” Yeonjun asks, rolling his eyes at the over enthusiasm of his friend. 

“There’s an Italian cultural heritage exhibition happening just a few blocks away from here. Apparently they brought samples of the Roman empire to the exhibit!” He exclaims enthusiastically. 

The silence in the room is loud, everyone turning to look at him with incredulous eyes.  

“Soobin, that sounds like the most boring exhibition ever,” Beomgyu says. “No one is going to go to that shit.” 

“Yeah, like who even likes that type of thing? Apart from you obviously.” Yeonjun asks. 

“Y/n does,” Monica replies, the room turning to look at you while you freeze at the callout. 

“Wait, you do?!” Yeonjun asks mockingly, to which you nod before putting your beer down. 

“I used to go to Italy with my parents every summer.” you explain, “My dad is a history teacher, so…” shrugging your shoulders, you steal a quick glance around the terrace as Yeonjun awe’s in understanding. 

“Wait, really?!” Soobin asks excitedly, making you turn to him with big eyes. 

“Uh yes.” You nod to which he smiles. “It is very fascinating, I’m sure the exhibition will be amazing.” You share his excitement to which he giggles, making your heart do backflips. 

“You should come with me then! Entry is free. You just have to sign in to the guest list!” He exclaims again, everyone’s eyes on you both as you exchange plans. 

“Yes! Sure, I mean. That sounds like fun, I’m down.” You calm yourself as you agree to go with him to the exhibition tomorrow. 

- 

There is a soft knock on your door that snaps you out of last night’s memory. “Soobin is here.” Yeonjun’s voice resonates through the door.

The nerves come back to you as you stand up and take one deep breath before you walk to your bedroom door. 

This is a terrible idea, you think to yourself one more time as you approach the living room, where the tall, handsome and unobtainable man is waiting for you at the end of the hall. 

---------

a/n: Happy readings everyone! Hope you like this new chapter c: Don't forget to, like, reblog and comment, it really helps me a lot! <3

Don't forget to comment below if you want to be added to the taglist!

TAGLIST:

@bangchansbae @a-l-i-y-a @jeonsfizz @yogurttea

[huffle-dork]

Swap Beyond the Crystalverse Chapter 3: Paranormal Teens

Co-written with @crystalninjaphoenix Read Swapboys | Read Crystal’s AUs

Other Multiverse Stories: SITCV | SATCV | GITHV

The jolt happens again, and Bro finds himself--well this is not ideal. It's a public bathroom. A very clean public bathroom, with pastel blue and white tiles forming a checkerboard pattern, but still. Not ideal. At least it's empty. 

Bro reorients himself and then blinks in confusion. “Huh… well, this is a first…”

There's some faint music coming from the closed door leading out into the rest of the building. 🎵 The sun goes down, the stars come out, and all that counts is here and now, My universe will never be the same, I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came 🎵

Bro’s ears pick up on the music and he heads over to the door to peek out of it.

This is a restaurant of some sort, with pastel pink-and-blue walls and a checkerboard floor. Looks pretty crowded. There are all sorts of people sitting in booths and at tables. The music is almost drowned out by their chatter. There's a big set of front windows showing a nice sunny day outside.

Bro whistles a bit to himself as he walks through, “this is a cute place! Heh… I would take Stacy to a place like this…” he smiles to himself.

As he walks through the crowds towards the front of the shop, he suddenly hears a shout. "Holy crap!" a voice says. "Hey! Bro! Is that you?!"

Someone sitting at a table by a window suddenly stands up and starts waving. A teenage boy wearing an oversized T-shirt and black jeans with rips in the knees...and a snapback cap pushing down messy brown hair.

Bro jumps slightly and looks- then smiles wide and bright. “yooo no way!! Little me???” He hurries over, grinning, “…wait what??? Who said you were allowed to get this much older, huh?!”

The younger Chase laughs. "Yoooo it's been forever since I've seen you! I was like--thirteen or something? That's wild! It's so good to see you again!" He holds up a hand for a high-five. 

Bro high-fives him instantly. “Jesus… what are you now? 16?? It had not been 3 fucking years oh my god-“ Bro laughs breathlessly. “That’s insane…”

"Older Chase?" Someone else stands up--the other person at Chase's table. It's a girl around the same age, with wavy blonde hair. She's wearing a pink pair of glasses, a pink skater skirt, and a T-shirt with the graphic of a skull wearing a pink bow and the words Monster High. "What're you doing here?"

Bro blinks at the girl and his eyes widen. Oh hey- she… kinda reminds him of Stacy… “uh? Hi? Iii don’t think I met you last time! But hi! Uh- we’re here to actually fix our multiverses traveling thing… that’s why we never got to come back to visit you guys!” He takes off his hat and pushes back his hair, “God… I feel like when I would visit from Uni and suddenly Alt grew an inch-“

"Huh? What d'you mean?" The girl blinks, confused. 

"You don't remember Stacy?" Chase asks. "I mean... you guys didn't meet her the first time you showed up.... And what d'you mean you never came back here? What were all those other times?" 

The girl--Stacy--puts her hands on her hips. "Is there some weird time stuff happening?" 

"Ohhhh, that must be it." Chase nods. "So like--those visits haven't happened for you guys! God, this must be even crazier, then."

Bro blinks in bewilderment. “What?? Yeah uh- we didn’t come back since the first time! …oh no this is gonna break my brain oh god-“

"God, I know, right?" Chase laughs. "I have no idea how Jays deals with everything." 

“Jays?? He deals with this kind of stuff??” Bro asks with wide eyes. 

"It's a long story," Chase says, shrugging. 

"Anyway, um... in that case, hi, I'm Stacy!" Stacy smiles and waves. "You guys are here to fix your TRVLR?"

Bro focuses back on Stacy and smiles, “Nice to meet you officially then, Stacy! And yup! It’s- god such a long story but basically it got broken and then got sucked into other worlds and we almost got all the pieces! But now we gotta go collect what’s left! Which led us here!”

"Ohhhh, cool." Stacy nods. "Is there anything we can do to help?" 

"Wh--I mean--Stacy, we were--" Chase suddenly stammers. "I-I mean--we didn't even... get our food or anything..." 

"Oh, I mean, uh... yeah! We can totally keep going!" Stacy looks embarrassed. "It's not that I, uh, don't like this or want to leave, I just... it seems important." 

"Uh, yeah, it does, but uh... I-I was gonna... I mean, uh..." 

"We can come back here some other time. Any time!" 

"Yeah, I just uh... yeah." 

They are both blushing.

Bro blinks a bit in confusion and looks between the two of them. Then it clicks and he goes, “OHH! Oh! You two are-! Awww-! It’s okay little dudes you two can finish! I gotta figure out where Alt went anyways!”

"Wh--I mean, we're, uh--y-yeah, we're--I-I mean we've done stuff before, but like..." Chase messes with his hat distractedly. "This is like... stuff." 

"Yeah, it's like... stuff." Stacy fidgets with a bracelet on her wrist. "Um... he'll probably be with the others, I guess. Or... nearby." 

"So he's gonna be at Jackie's house," Chase says. "They're all hanging out there. They asked us if we wanted to come, but uh... stuff."

Bro laughs, “You guys are so cute- you can just say it’s a date!” He waves himself off, “You guys gimme an address and I can find them then! Maybe you can come catch up once you’re done!”

The blushing intensifies. "Y-yeah, it's like... a casual thing," Stacy says. 

"Uh, yeah, hang on." Chase grabs a napkin from the napkin holder. "Stace, d'you have a pen?" 

"Yep." Stacy takes a sparkly gold pen out of her pocket and hands it over. 

"Thanks." Chase writes something down. "Here!" He hands it out to Bro. On it is written the address 45 Hyder Lane, as well as some other stuff. "Uh, I know you can fly so you'll probably be able to just go there, but just in case here are the bus lines to get there from Zelly's--that's here, by the way."

Bro takes the address from them and laughs, “yeah but that’s probably not a good idea here-! Luckily I got my phone- …that should still work right?” He whips out his phone to type in the address.

For some reason, the maps app takes a lot longer to load. Chase and Stacy lean over his shoulders. "Oh, you have a GPS on your phone?" Chase gasps. 

"I hear they're gonna do something like that soon!" Stacy says excitedly. "This fall or something." 

Eventually, something seems to connect and it shows the address.

“Oh right- this is still the past.” Bro giggles, “it’s… 2012 now then?” He whistles, “man.. that’s crazy.” Once it’s loaded he grins and shows them. “Alright! See we’re all good! You guys can enjoy the rest of your date!”

The two teens blush again. "Th-thanks," Chase says. "Good luck with your, uh, search." 

"We'll see you later, maybe?" Stacy says. 

“Hopefully!” Bro grins as he waves, heading towards the door- “have fun you guys!”

"See you!" Chase waves Bro off.

 ----------- 

Alt lands in a hallway at the base of a staircase. The floor beneath his feet is covered in a brown shaggy carpet and the walls are painted pale yellow. There's a door to the left that's ajar, showing a laundry room of some kind. There's also a door to the right that's ajar, through which come a series of voices and shouts. 

"How are you guys winning?! You don't have a fucking Medic!" 

"You don't need a Medic when you got mad skillz--oh god damn it!" 

"Hah! That is what you get for talking shit!" 

"To be fair, we are like, four years older than you guys--" 

"And so? That means you're better at video games? I beg to dif--fuck! Where were you?!" 

"Ahahahaha! I could be in this very room! I could be you, I could be me, I could even be right behind you!"

Alt shakes himself out and blinks as he takes in the hallway. All those voices… it sounds like a bunch of teenagers? …weird- he glitches a bit forward and tries to peek in through the door.

This room is full of stuff. Right by the doorway there's a bookshelf full of stuff for something called Caverns and Creatures. Up against the opposite wall, underneath a high-up window, are a series of stacked plastic boxes full of what look like old clothes. In the corners of the rooms are piles of outdoorsy equipment. But in the center is a small island made by pushing a desk up against two folding tables (looks like the desk had been pushed over from a spot by the wall, judging by the impressions in the carpet). On this island are a bunch of computers, most of them laptops but two clunky older models. 

Six young guys are sitting there, all focused on the computers. "Jameson how the fuck are you typing while shooting me?!" one shouts. Another one just grins and sticks out his tongue in response. 

"Marvin I need to fucking heal you!" 

"Oh that's you, I thought that was Aodhan, sorry!" 

"It could be me! You don't know!" 

"Dude, shut the fuck up." 

"Hehehehehe."

Alt blinks a bit in confusion. …are these all? But- last time they were like- 13! These can’t be the same guys right? He furrows his eyebrows and tries to lean closer- but then leans too far onto the door and it flies open- leaving him standing in the doorway with wide eyes.

The nearest guy--wearing an old red hoodie, brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, a bit of stubble on his face--looks back towards the doorway first. "Dad, did you want--" Then he stops. And grins. "No way! Alt?!" 

Alt glitches a bit in surprise and awkwardly waves his hand. 

The others all look up. "Holy shit, it's Alt!" one of them shouts, standing up. He has a black streak dyed in his hair, and is wearing a black t-shirt with a band name over a longer-sleeved striped shirt. "Hey! Alt! You probably don't recognize us! It's me!" He waves, and little green fireworks pop off around his hand. "Marvin!" 

Alt grins big, “No fucking way- what the hell?!” He laughs. He glitches further into the room and his eyes widen as he sees the magic. “Oh my god hey!”

"Alt?" A boy with round glasses and a blue flannel shirt looks up. He grins. "Alt! It is so good to--" 

"From behind!" 

"Hey!" The glasses boy glares at the guy sitting across from him.

Alt pushes his hair back in disbelief, laughing breathlessly, “Jesus Christ… h-has it been that long since we’ve seen you all? You’re all… you’re all grown up..!”

Marvin laughs. "Yeah it's been like--three years or something? Fucking insane!" 

“Jesus- it hasn’t been that long for me and Bro!” Alt laughs.

"Huh?" One of the guys looks over, wearing a blue hoodie and an Irish flat cap. "Oh, so you're that Alt guy from their one adventure with other worlds?" 

"Yep!" The guy in the hoodie--obviously Jackie--nods. "Alt, this is Jack, we met him a bit after you guys." 

Alt blinks at the new kid and smiles. “Yo nice to meet ya! Any friends of these lads are a friend of mine!” He grins.

"Nice to meet ya!" Jack says cheerfully.

"Schiesse!" shouts the boy with glasses. "Jackie, pause the fucking server, Aodhan is making camp on me!" 

"Noooo, I'm camping you, that's different," the guy next to Jack cackles. He's wearing all black, a black leather jacket over a black t-shirt with only highlights of silver on his bracelets and the choker around his neck. 

"Okay, I'm calling time-out," Jackie says, turning back to his computer and pressing some buttons. 

Alt looks over at the computers and chuckles, “oh man whatcha guys playing? Sounds intense-“ he laughs.

The guy in black looks back at Alt. His eyes are bright green. He grins. "Hey! I remember you!" 

Alt blinks at the boy in all black and his eyes widen, “Woah- you’re … you’re A-Anti??” 

"Yeah!" Aodhan nods, grinning. "Look at me! I'm normal now! Well, almost." He's suddenly over by the the corner of the room. Then he's sitting up on the ledge of the window, crouching awkwardly since it's so close to the ceiling. Then he's back in his chair. 

Alt blinks rapidly then grins, “You’re just like me!” 

"It's still crazy to have him here," Jack laughs, leaning closer to him. Aodhan leans close as well and the two of them bump shoulders. 

The last boy stands up and waves. He's wearing a green t-shirt over a white button-down shirt, and has an old-fashioned pocket watch on a chain around his neck. It's so good to see you, Alt, the boy with the pocket watch says. It's me, Jameson! 

"And I am Schneep." The boy with glasses grins. 

Alt glitches around to look at Schneep and Jameson properly, “Damn! Look at you all! …some of you are taller than me what the hell?!” 

"Chase and Stacy were gonna be here, but they had plans," Marvin says. He wiggles his eyebrows, making JJ laugh. 

Alt’s eyebrows raise at the mention of Chase and Stacy. He shakes his head and laughs, “you guys have a lot to catch me and Bro on it seems! Man… I was hoping it wouldn’t be this long before I got to see you all again…” he sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

"What are you doing back here, Alt?" Schneep asks. 

“Well… We wanted to visit long before this but… we ran into problems that broke the TRVLR and now we… we gotta find the missing parts. One of them should be here.”

"Oh no, your TRVLR is broken?" Schneep says, distressed. "That is terrible! I do not think we could help put it back together, but we can help find your piece that is stuck here." 

Alt smiles, “We just gotta find the parts but thanks Schneep-“

Alt's phone lets out a squawk of static. "Actually there are two parts in this world," Anti's voice says. "One of them arrived here at an earlier time, closer to when you were first here, but the second was shot to a later point in the timeline. That's why so much time has passed." 

He jumps when Anti’s voice comes out of his phone and he pulls it out, “I gotta get used to you just speaking randomly…” he grumbles.

Aodhan gasps. "There's a voice in your pocket! I know that voice!" 

"You do?" Jack looks at him. 

"Yeah, that's the guy who showed me the Fissures, I'd never forget him." 

"Oh. I don't think that was me," Anti says. "But it was probably that other version of me." 

"Ah, okay." 

Alt blinks at this and tilts his head, “wait ...does that mean we gotta travel even further into the past? Man.. that’s gonna get confusing-“ He blinks a bit shocked at Aodhan then nods at Anti, “Oh yeah it’s…complicated- this guy is theee same guy- just a different timeline basically.” He flips his phone to show everyone Anti inside, “This is Anti guys- he’s from one of the first worlds we ever went to!”

Anti waves as the guys crowd around to look at him. "Oh he's a little guy!" 

Marvin gasps. "And he does look like Anti--Aodhan!" 

Your phone is so cool, Alt, Jameson says, smiling. 

"I'm not normally this little, I'm just hanging out in his phone until I regain my energy," Anti explains. "And no, Alt, we won't have to travel further back. The piece still exists in the future, after all. We can pick them both up from here." 

“Oooh- right okay. What I said sounds dumb now-“ Alt laughs sheepishly.

"Ooooo." Aodhan reaches out and pokes Alt's phone screen. He abruptly disappears, reappearing on the screen just like Anti is. 

Marvin laughs. "C'mon, dude! You're probably gonna fill up Alt's memory storage." 

"Sorry!" Aodhan pops out again. 

Alt jumps a bit at this then laughs, “Dude- we’re more alike then I thought! Though I don’t think I can appear on the screen like that… maybe I could though.” He muses. 

"Never know until you try, Alt," Anti says from the phone. "But uh, not right now. The teen Marvin is right, I'm taking up a lot of your storage." 

Schneep narrows his eyes at him. "Were you using your powers to cheat?" 

"I'd never do that!" Aodhan gasps, mock-offended. "Not for TF2, you all suck too much at the game for cheating to be necessary!" The others all immediately shout out protests.

Alt listens to the others bicker and laughs more, “Oh! TF2! Man- that takes me back!” He grins.

"Oh yeah, they said you were from the future!" Jack gasps. "Or, a world that's in the future. That's so cool." 

And it explains the phone being so cool, JJ says. 

"Yes, look at the apps, they are all so smooth and without texture," Schneep says. 

Alt laughs, “Yeah in my world it’s 2020!”

Jackie shakes his head. "We're getting distracted. Alt, d'you know what these pieces you're looking for look like? Or where they might be?"

Alt blinks at Jackie then digs in his pocket to pull out the tracker, touching the pupil. “Oh I can find out, one sec-“ The two TRVLR pieces are in in the city, one in Hollewych Park and one just outside city hall.

Alt looks at the others, “There’s one in Hollewych Park and one just outside of city hall-“ He relays to the others, putting the tracker back in his pocket.

"Ooooo, was that magic?" Marvin says excitedly. "Like some sort of--scrying thing?" 

“Oh yeah kinda?” Alt chuckles, “that’s probably the best way to describe it!” 

"We are kinda close to the park, but we'll have to drive a bit farther to get to city hall," Jackie says. He sighs. "I don't really want to go back there. I mean, I know it's fine now, but like..." 

JJ looks at Alt. Do you remember the Circle? They used to have a location at city hall. I think we all remember city hall for that, even though it was years ago by now.

Alt blinks at Jackie’s response but then his expression darkens a bit. “Oh yeah- I remember you all talking about them… but hey you got rid of them it sounds like! So it should be fine- but you guys don’t have to come if you don’t want to!”

"No, it's fine," Jackie insists. "You're right, the Circle is gone now, so there's nothing to worry about. I just get nervous, you know?" 

"You can wait in the car or something," Jack suggests. 

"I mean... I definitely want to come. I wasn't around for the other times these guys showed up!" 

"We are going to the park first, yes?" Schneep says. "So we can think about city hall on the way there." 

Marvin frowns. "I don't think we can all fit in Jackie's car. And Chase is the only other one with a license so we're shit out of luck for taking two cars." He looks at Alt, eyes wide. "Can you glitch us there?!" 

That's probably too many people, Jameson points out. 

“I can try- it is kinda reaching my limit though-“ Alt says.

"I can try to help?" Aodhan suggests. "But shouldn't we ask something first?" The others stare at him. "Like--where's the other guy? The big Chase? And did that cat guy come along?"

Alt blinks with the others then smacks his head kinda, “Oh yeah! Bro should be around here somewhere- probably with little him since the rest of you are here! And no don’t worry- Mag isn’t here this time, thank god.”

"Oh good." Aodhan relaxes, looking relieved. 

Alt seems to process something and looks back at Jack, “Wait…you said other times- as in plural? We’ve only been here once…” he says, looking confused.

Jackie blinks. "You mean you don't... remember your other visits?" 

Maybe it's more time stuff! JJ says excitedly. Like Dr. Who! In the episode with the angels where they meet the lady who gives them a guide for the questions-- 

Alt’s eyes widen as he blinks at the boys in surprise. “…woah- this is some fucking timey wimey shit all right-“ he laughs. “…god that makes me feel a bit better- I was really bummed that guys thought we just… forgot about you guys.” 

"Oooo, yes, of course!" Schneep nods. "Like your watch!" 

That too. JJ grabs the pocket watch around his neck. 

Alt tilts his head at JJ then glitches over, looking at his watch. “Oh? Do you have magic now too??” 

JJ grins. I found this a couple months ago! I don't know if it's magic, but it's very cool! He shakes his head. I'll hold back for now though so I can explain to you and Bro at the same time.

Alt nods, “That’s fair! I’m very interested to learn more.” He grins. 

"I wonder if Chase and Stacy will want to come," Marvin says. "Or d'you think they'll want to, yknow... do whatever people do when they date?"

Alt looks at Marvin and laughs, touching his necklace. “Well- probably the latter if I had to guess. Lemme see if I can catch Bro and tell him where we’re going-“ He pulls out his phone and calls Bro.

Bro has been walking for a while, despite how Chase gave him bus directions. He's in an area with tons of businesses and restaurants, and a lot of people walking around, enjoying the sunny day. That's when his phone starts to ring.

Bro grumbles to himself, “Fucking- should have listened to little me… why isn’t flying more wildly accepted?” He sighs. Then blinks as his phone rings. “Yo? Alt?” 

“Hey Chase- where you at?” 

“Trying to walk to Little Jackie’s house-“ Bro grunts. 

“I’m with the others! The TRVLR parts are at hollewych park and then city hall- are you anywhere close to there?”

"Oh, if he started at Zelly's then he'll probably be kind of near the city center," Jackie says. 

"Is he surrounded by five-story buildings or two-story buildings?" Schneep asks. "Because they tend to get taller the closer you get to city hall."

“Here let me put you all on speaker so he can hear this,” Alt laughs, “Say hi to the kids, Bro!” 

“Yooo little dudes!” Bro’s voices says over the speaker.

"Hi!" Jackie says. 

"What's up, bitches!" Marvin shouts. 

"As Chase would say, 'sup?" Schneep says. 

Jameson whistles. 

"You haven't met me before, but I'm Jack, nice to meet you!" Jack says. 

"And when you met me I wasn't normal!" Aodhan says cheerfully. "It's me, Anti! But my name is Aodhan, too." 

“Oh wow hi eveyone!” Bro laughs over the speaker, “and uh- hi Anti! Glad you’re … normal now?” 

"Bro, where are you?" Jackie asks. "What bus did you take?"

As Jackie asks his question there’s a long pause on Bro’s end before he mumbles, “I- uh… didn’t take one-“

A second passes in silence. Then Aodhan starts laughing. Marvin starts giggling after him. "Are you--are you fucking walking?" he asks. 

Schneep frowns. "I know this is a small town, but it is not that small." 

Alt covers his mouth to hide his laughter, “Chase… really?” 

“Well I can’t fly right now can I?? I thought- how bad could it be?? Plus like- don’t you need to… show id or something on buses or- be a citizen?? I don’t know how buses work I’m a superhero goddamnit!” Alt rolls his eyes. 

"You need to pay for a bus, so if you don't have money, that's an excuse," Jack suggests. "I don't think you have to show ID? At least, they've never asked me or Anti."

"So you're probably still close to Zelly's then," Jackie says, nudging Marvin and Aodhan. "You probably didn't get past Queen Cleo's--that's the pizza place with the red roof. I mean, assuming you don't have super speed or anything." The pizza place Jackie is mentioning is right next to Bro.

Bro looks over at his side and then makes a face, “…yeah I see the pizza place-“ he says in a defeated tone.

Jackie holds back a snort of laughter of his own now. "Okay, okay, it'll probably be easiest if you head towards city hall. I can drive over there to pick you up and take you the rest of the way. Meanwhile, Alt can take some guys straight to the park and look around for your TRVLR thing there, then once they've found it they can go to city hall." He looks around. "Does that sound good to everyone?" 

“Sounds good to me!” Alt grins. 

Bro sighs heavily, “Yeah that’s chill- lemme see if I can pull up directions there-“ 

“You’re using your gps?? Dude it tells you how long it takes to walk there-“ Alt laughs, “Did you see how long it would take and still chose to walk?” 

Another long silence follows before Bro says quietly, “…I had it still on the drive time-“ 

“Oh my god chase!” Alt bursts into laughter now.

Schneep chuckles. "You really are an older version of Chase. I am not quite understanding this conversation, but it sounds like something he would do." 

Alt laughs, “I can see it.” 

"Alright, who wants to come with me to pick up Bro, then?" Jackie asks, looking around. 

"I, uh... want to meet him," Jack says. 

"I do not imagine being much help with the park search, I will go, too," Schneep says. 

"I can do both!" Aodhan grins. 

JJ and Marvin look at each other. They nod in unison. "Me and JJ will go with Alt to the park," Marvin says. "If that's okay."

Alt blinks then grins wide at Marvin and JJ, “Of course dude! Us magic bros gotta stick together!”

The twins grin right back at him. 

"Great." Jackie nods. "Now... I just need to think of a reason why I'd be driving off with Jack and Schneep. To tell Dad, I mean. He'd want to know. Maybe we're getting snacks...though in that case we'd need to actually get snacks." 

"I should text Chase all this, yes?" Schneep says. "Or do you think that would interrupt him?"

Bro chuckles on the speaker, “We can get snacks- we aren’t in that big of a rush. Alt could always use extra anyways if you all are glitching pretty far.”

Jackie laughs. "Okay, okay, we'll stop by, then." He looks at Alt, JJ, and Marvin. "You guys will probably have to glitch right out of here. If you went upstairs Dad would be confused as to who this older guy is and when he got here." 

“Yeah I don’t wanna alarm your dad,” Alt laughs. “Keep me updated bro-“ 

“Will do dude- see you all soon!” Bro says before Alt hangs up. He then stuffs the phone in his pocket and offer a hand out to the boys. “Alright! Let’s get moving then~”

Marvin grabs JJ's arm and then Alt's hand. "Great!" He looks at the others and grins. "See you all later! Tell Bro we say hi when you find him!" 

"No problem!" Jackie says.

Alt waves his other other hand and then glitches the 3 of them out of there towards the park.

They appear on a concrete path surrounding a wide green space. More paths crisscross the area, as well as some steps, as they seem to be standing on top of a slight hill. In the center of the park is a large fountain with some angelic looking figures--though one of them is missing a wing, like it broke off. There are some people wandering around the park. A woman walking a dog, a family with two young kids, some teenage boys in the corner skateboarding. 

"Heheh. Hey look, it's Chase's people," Marvin says, pointing at the skaters. 

Suddenly, Aodhan appears next to them. "Hey, this is where I first saw Chase!"

Alt laughs at Marvin’s comment then can’t help but jump a bit as Aodhan joins. “Oh right- hi,” He laughs. He pulls out the tracker again to see if he can get a more accurate read on where the piece is as he looks out over the park. “This is a nice park! Cozy almost.”

"Yeah, it really is!" Marvin nods. "When me and JJ were younger we used to take the coins from the fountain that they threw into the basin for wishes. But as we got older it started to feel kinda bad doing that, y'know? Like, if greenlight is real, what if wishes are? So I started doing like, pet sitting stuff for money. I'm really good with cats. We have a cat, named Sinney, she's a Russian blue and very adorable." As Marvin talks, the glass eye tracker tells Alt that the TRVLR part is in... what do you know? The fountain basin.

“Oh yeah I remember you talking about Sinney!” Alt smiles, “and that’s a good way to get money dude - hanging out with cats all day? I’d do that!” He blinks then laughs as the tracker tells him the location. He starts to walk towards the fountain. “Hey! The part is actually in the fountain apparently!”

JJ laughs. What a coincidence! The group heads down the path and reaches the fountain. 

Aodhan looks up at it. "Did I break the wing off that angel?" 

"Yeah," Marvin says.

 "Oops." 

“That sounds like a wild story,” Alt giggles.

JJ leans over the edge and looks into the basin. Do you know what the piece looks like, Alt?

Alt sighs and leans over the fountain, “Not really- but I guess something mechanical will be easy to spot, right?”

"Well, your TRVLR was very small, wasn't it?" Marvin says. "Like... this big?" He pantomimes holding it. "So there's probably a lot of small parts in it..." 

"Guess we just have to look close!" Aodhan says, leaning right up to the water, his nose two inches from its surface. 

JJ chuckles. Don't get wet, your eyeliner will smear. "I don't have the time for eyeliner! I'm not Marvin!" 

"Hey!... well, that's true," Marvin admits. "But I'm not wearing eyeliner today."

“Oh my god the eyeliner phase-“ Alt laughs, hiding his face a bit.

While they're talking, they circle around the fountain. Alt sees a glint of something gold--unusual compared to the rest of the copper and silver coins. 

Marvin also notices it. "Oo! What's that?"

Alt brightens and reaches over for it, “I think this might be it!”

It looks like a little rectangle, no bigger than the coins it's surrounded by. Most of it is black, but there's a smaller gold rectangle in the middle that's the source of the glint. 

"Hey! What are you doing over there?"

Alt snatched up the rectangle before standing up quickly and looking towards the source of the question. “I-I dropped something in here! Just getting it real quick!”

The asker is a man in a gray suit, looking very out of place among the casual summer fashion of everyone else. He nods slowly. "Sorry. Didn't mean to bite your head off. But I hear some people like to steal coins from the fountain." 

JJ and Marvin glance at each other. 

"Are you all... family? Brothers, cousins, what?"

Alt tilts his head and then answers quickly, “Yeah I’m uh- cousins with these two! Just visiting-“ He smiles.

"Hmm." The man looks at Aodhan. "And you?"

Aodhan just stares. A slight static hum comes from him. 

"He's just our friend," Marvin hurriedly says. "You know--" 

"Stranger," Aodhan mutters. 

The twins look at him in confusion. 

"Well, I'm also from out of town," the man says, seemingly not hearing Aodhan's comment. "It's a lovely place, isn't it?"

“Yeah I love visiting here,” Alt says carefully, narrowing his eyes at the man. “…but if you’re from out of town, why do you care who’s in the fountain…?”

"Oh, I don't like to see people causing trouble," the man says. "I hear there was a lot of trouble in this town about three years ago? Have you heard of that?" He looks at Marvin and JJ. "What about you boys?" 

"Uh... yeah, we remember it," Marvin says. "It was crazy."

Alt narrows his eyes a bit more, crossing his arms. “…can we help you with something?” He says shortly.

The man stares at the four of them thoughtfully... then sighed. "Alright, I can see you're the type to see through the small talk." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. "I work for an agency, we're very curious about what happened here in Hollewych three years ago. I know it was very confusing for everyone who lives here, but we've already had the details of what happened. So we've been going around asking people if they know why it happened."

Alt just stares hard at the man and his card. “I don’t think we can help you with that. These guys were just kids back then- and I wasn’t here.”

The main raises an eyebrow. "Teenagers are more observant than we think, you know." 

"Sorry, we don't know anything," Marvin says. "It was fucking weird, that's all." 

"Alright. If you need to contact us, if you remember something, our phone number is on this card." 

Jameson silently takes it. 

The man nods. "Be seeing you, maybe." And he walks away.

Alt glares at the man as he walks away, “that was… really fucking weird. Everything about that seemed off.” He mumbles.

"I don't like him," Aodhan mutters. "He reminds me of the people in the Circle." He looks over at Alt. "Bullies." 

Alt nods, “Yeah I get that vibe…”

"Why'd you take the card, JJ?" Marvin asks. 

JJ hands the card to Marvin so he can sign. 

He seemed like he wouldn't go away otherwise. 

"Hmm." Marvin looks at the card. "Department of Impossible Sciences? Never heard of it."

As Marvin reads out the card, Alt feels a pit in his stomach and glitches over to look at the card.

One side of the card has the department name on it, along with a phone number. The other side is black, and has a white design of an eye on it, complete with eyelid and lashes. It does not have three irises.

Alt deflates at little bit- a bit relieved. Still he shakes his head, “I wouldn’t trust anyone who says they’re from a ‘department of impossible science’-“ He grumbles. “I’d definitely stay away from those guys.” 

"Yeah, no, definitely fucking not," Marvin agrees. 

Alt checks to make sure he still has the piece of the TRVLR and cleans it off before putting it in the black bag. “Well- at least we got the piece! Let’s head over to the others-“ 

"I'll go right now," Aodhan says, and disappears. 

No fair, JJ says, rolling his eyes. 

"Well... guess we're going to city hall without him, then," Marvin says, laughing a little. 

Alt chuckles, “I can just as easily glitch us over too- or do you guys wanna walk?”

"No that's what I meant." Marvin holds his hand out, grabbing onto JJ's arm. "It's just like--funny that he did it without us."

Alt shakes his head with a laugh, “maybe he just prefers glitching solo!” He grabs Marvin’s hand and glitches after Anti towards city hall.

----------- 

Meanwhile, Bro has been walking for a while. The businesses have taken over the area, pushing out the restaurants. But then a car pulls to the side, a silver car with big windows and a rounded top. The driver's side window rolls down, and a guy with long brown hair and an old red hoodie looks at him. "Wow--you really haven't aged a day!" Jackie laughs. "JJ's right, there must be some weird time stuff going on."

Bro idly looks at the buildings then blinks as the car rolls up. He grins as he sees the familiar face. “I can’t say the same about you! Look at ya!! Couldn’t even drink the last time we saw ya! Now you’re old enough to be in uni!!” He pauses then sticks out his tongue, “Ugh- I sound like an old relative coming to visit-“

Jackie laughs. "Yeah! It's crazy." He grins. "I--I'm actually on break from uni right now. I've made some friends there, I think. Here, get in the passenger side. If you think I look really different, you'll be so surprised to see Schneep." 

"What is that supposed to mean?!" A voice comes from the backseat. 

"It means you had a massive growth spurt, you doof," Jackie calls into the back.

Bro grins and hurries into the car. He climbs into the passenger side and quickly turns around then gasps in delight in seeing Schneep. “Oh my god! Little Hen!! You’re definitely not little anymore!”

"I was not that small, was I?" Schneep says. 

The other guy in the backseat laughs. "Hey, the first time I saw you, I legit thought you were, like, eight years old." 

"Hmph. Well, at least that has changed now!" Schneep grins. "It is good to see you again, Bro!" 

Bro grins back. “It’s good to see you all too! I can’t believe it’s been so long for you all! I wanna say it’s been… god… maybe 6 ish months?? Since we last saw you? Maybe longer-? Things have been kinda crazy.” He laughs. 

"Only six months? It sounds like there is some strange time stuff happening," Schneep chuckles. 

“Right?? It’s blowing my mind!” Bro laughs.

"And it's good to see you at all. I'm Jack." He holds out a hand for a shake. 

Bro blinks and takes Jack’s hand and shakes it, “Pleasure, Jack! I’m Chase but you know that’s confusing so call me Bro~!”

"Bro, then!" Jack laughs. "That's Chase's favorite word, it's really fitting that it's what we call you." 

Bro grins at Jack, “It’s my favorite word too! Why do think I picked it as my hero name?” 

Jackie puts the car into gear and pulls back into the street. Bro can tell that he's a lot more confident in his driving skills. "We're gonna find a corner store or something to get snacks from, then head over to city hall."

Bro sits the right way in the seat now and grins, “Sick! I can get some 2012 food- …was there anything good from then we don’t have now?” He asks himself, making a thinking face.

"Hey, I mean... you'd know more than us, we haven't been any time after 2012 yet." Jackie laughs. "That's sort of how time works, usually." 

Suddenly, there's a whine of static, and someone appears in the empty seat between Jack and Schneep. "Hey!" 

"Jesus focking christ, Anti!" Jack jumps.

Bro screeches a bit in surprise and grips over his heart- “…you think living with Alt I’d be used to this kinda shit!”

“You never get used to it,” Jack mutters. “Trust me.” 

“Sorry,” Aodhan says. “But look! It’s me! I’m not a shadow anymore!” He leans into the space between the two seats and grins. 

“Hey man! I’m so glad! I bet that’s a fucking crazy story,” Bro grins. 

“What are you doing here, Anti?” Schneep asks. 

“Telling you that the other three are going to city hall,” Aodhan says. “And that there was a weird guy talking to us.”

Bro blinks and tilts his head, “A weird guy?”

“Weird guy in a suit,” Aodhan continues. “Asking about what happened three years ago. He said he was from the Department of Impossible Sciences.”

Bro knits his eyebrows together, “…that sounds familiar… weird though- why ask about that now?”

“Yeah… I mean, it’s been a while,” Jackie says thoughtfully. “Maybe it’s only like… relevant now? For something this department is doing?” 

“If it’s a department, what is it a department of?” Jack wonders. “The government?” 

“Well they are not going to get any answers from the townspeople,” Schneep says. “It seems everyone has agreed to forget about it.” 

“Corner store,” Aodhan points out the window. “Snacks.” 

“Yeah, I see it, thanks,” Jackie says. 

“Yeah… seems weird that a guy like that would just- approach Alt and a bunch of teenagers… just out of nowhere…” Bro muses.

“I’m not a teenager,” Aodhan grumbles.

“Yeah, we’re old enough to drink in America!” Jack adds. 

“To be fair, Aodhan, you do act like a twelve-year-old a lot,” Jackie says.

Bro giggles, “I mean- still seems weird to approach a bunch of younger guys about this- out of just nowhere right? You all weren’t like- doing anything weird or magic?”

“We got the TRVLR part out of the fountain,” Aodhan says. 

“In the fountain?!” Schneep repeats. “Are you sure that the part will work?” “It looked like a solid thing. No place for water to get in or ruin it or anything.” Jackie pulls up to the corner store. “Well hopefully this was a one-off thing,” he says. “Now. Snacks.”

Bro hums in thought but then nods and hops out of the car, “Snacks!”

[disappointingcabbage]

TDP Season 6 Episode 2 Live Reaction, spoilers under the cut

OUGH THE NEW INTRO STATUE IS CLAUDIA

She looks so sad

Also her face now that she’s done so much dark magic is lookin real spooky

Yay Soren has Hat!!

Wait why are they going to Lux Aurea

OH CORVUS!!!

Here’s how Sorvus can still win-

But seriously it makes sense, he is a tracker, he can find Zubeia

THE LESBIANS!!

I forgot how obnoxiously French Janai is. I still love her.

Girlie you are making some questionable choices due to stress, you’re gonna want to treat your generals better if you don’t want more traitors

Thank you, Amaya, for being the voice of reason

JANAI YOU DID NOT JUST DISRESPECT AMAYA LIKE THAT

“I’ve never seen mushrooms like this before? You think it’s edible” “no and pLEASE DONT FIND OUT” AHDIEJXIEKF lmao Corvus is very familiar with Soren’s stupidity

I fucking forgot Karim stole the light seed

Janai’s having fuckass dreams too???

Ok now she decides to properly communicate with her fiancée (when’s the wedding happening)

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU KARIM

this mf’s really gonna waste the sun seed on Sol Regem and throw away any chance at Lux Aurea actually rebuilding properly

I forgot Karim’s girlfriend’s name but it would be really fucking funny if she put poison in his wine glass, just saying

Glad to see Zym and Ez still have that whole telepathy thing going for them

NEW MUSHOOMS????

AMONG US?

yeah these two are gay dorks

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THE MUSHROOMS ARE LITTLE GUYS

I wanna gently squish it with a hug ITS SO CUTE I FUCKING LOVE MUSHROOMS

“Ah fuck my leg” *jump cuts to Soren absolutely booking it through the woods with Corvus on his back* YOUR HONOR THIS IS HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR AND ALSO HILARIOUS

Jesus Christ this mushroom can run

I think the mushroom brought them to its own mom

Oh shit the mushroom elf dude from the end of season 5

WAIT I CAN COSPLAY THIS GUY I HAVE A MUSHROOM HAT

“You are my heart, my truth. If I ever start to doubt you I’ll know I am truly lost” BRB SOBBING

THEYRE CALLED MUSHPALS!!!! I love them so much

Wgeiejciero one of them has the fucking 2014 aesthetic mustache I’m gonna lose it this is so funny

So mushroom dude (Musko) is basically a doctor. Good for him!!

Ooooh the way that the shots of Karim addressing his army are intercut with Janai addressing her people is giving me chills

Karim sounds like a Zionist and/or general religious tyrant and I hope that’s an intentional parallel

Bro just fucking pulled out the Mario blue shrink mushrooms

Corvus telling Soren he’s a good man with a big heart is so incredibly gay

I love the glowy mushrooms in Zubeia’s tree room

AWWW SHE CALLED EZRAN ZYM’S BROTHER

wait what does she mean “Ezran needs you” because I’m hoping she means, like, in general and not because of some specific threat

WEDDING TIME WEDDING TIME WEDDING TIME

oh my god he’s hat’s hat

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode 47 Notes-

- I’m so scared

- Like. Almost more scared than for last episode

- Ahhhhhh

- Hermie my beloved I haven’t stopped thinking about you <333

- (Seriously I’ve been basically exclusively rping you. Channel seven has been wild man)

- Anyways

- Ahhhhhh

- THE INTRO

- OMG

- THEYRE TALKING AHOUT SCAM AND NORMAL AOSNDHAJSBHSKAJSJDJDHDUIEJE

- Im vibrating this is insane

- I love their intros so much

- I LOVE THE PODCAST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS SO MUCHHHHHH

- Hehe I remember that from last season

- Taylor’s Teen Fact: Taylor’s first fight was in fourth grade because he was getting bullied (by Steve) over his collectible card game so he kicked the guy in the nards. That’s how he got into karate

- Lincoln’s Teen Fact: The first fight and lie between Linc and his parents was when he did a “hunger strike” until they let him go to school (but he actually was eating)

- Will messing up Normal’s intro was way too funny to me

- Normal’s Teen Fact: Normal does a tarot card reading everyday before getting started

- He’s like Mercedes!!!!!!!!!

- I cannot believe that he pulled the reversed Lovers holy shit

- Scary Teen Fact: Scary plays the piano. Because if the letters are rearranged it spells pain-o

- Anthony Fact: They haven’t thrown to their sponsors very often and so that might happen this episode

- Nevermind now he’s not gonna do it 😭

- IF THEY DONT TELL NORMAL ILL LOSE MY KIND

- The way Scary’s telling Linc to not touch Hermie <3333333333

- No hate to Linc lots of love to Scary though

- TWO DEATH FAILS FROM PUNCHING HIM INT HE JUTS IM CRYING

- OH THANK GOD FOR SCARY

- “Where’s Hermie” I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t

- SCARY BEING SUPER THERE ABOUT HERMIE BECAUSE PF TERRY

- The way I started tearing up when they started to pick up Hemrie 💀

- God this is not boding well for the rest of the episode

- LINC NO WE KNOW YOU DIDNT LIKE EHRMKE THIS ISNT COOL AHHH

- Again no hate to Linc he’s a kid

- “We’ll fix them”

- SLAY NORMAL

- WHOO

- “LEAVE”

- Once mischief twins always mischief twins (let’s Hotwire a car together BROTHERRR)

- ANOTHER NAT ONE

- I’m pretty sure I missed the entire thing with Taylor and the gun 😭 I don’t care enough to rewind

- “Lincoln stares at yet more blood he has created and slowly sinks back down” LINCOLN BABY

- ANOTHER NAT ONE

- Ahhhhhhhhhhh this spellll

- NO THE SOELL DIDNT WORK

- ANKRHER NAT ONE HOLY SJIR

- Henry yayyyyyyyy

- THE SPONSOR

- THAT WAS PERFECT

- THAT WAS SO FUCKING PERFECT

- Sooo code purple happened as they were kids okay okay

- IS THAT FUCKING BARRY

- OR SCAM LIKELY????!!!

- Henry looks surprisingly young thanks to a vegan lifestyle and butthole sunning!!!!

- Henry how I’ve missed you!!!!!!!!!

- BARRY YOU SHOULD BE DESD FUCK YOU

- Mercedes is dead 😞

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- HES GOOF MATTER NOOOO

- Very Achilles-Patroclus esc oh god

- This is going to either be Willy or Scam oh boy oh no

- Remember when we thought Normal hiding in his mascot outfit was bad??

- Oh good it’s Scam

- He left Scary oh noooo

- The fucking Goofs Realm nauseates me Jesus

- “I’m here when it’s sad I’m here when it’s fun did someone do something to my son” that was pretty good ngl

- I’m going to sob holy shit

- Scam is actually sad omg

- Bits never die is basically what he said omg

- Holy shit holy shit holy shit scam ong omg omg ong

- GO FUCKING NORMAL PUNCH HIM

- Scam is being all depresso like the other adults holy shit 😭

- “You don’t fucking come near him”

- FUCK YEAH MULTI PRONOUNS DOOOD

- “You feel like home” AHHHH OAKSSSSSSSS

- I’m going to sob

- [will sobbing] “OUR SPONSOR AURA FRAMES!!!”

- Yayyyyy this our episode 61. Hm or maybe when Terry Jr. died

- Half of it is burnt like two face!! Like Hermie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “I’m really proud of you kiddo” sobbing sobbing sobbing

- The Shade Witch I love this 😭

- I was sobbing and now I’m laughing

- This is so funny

- This whole scene is hilarious

- The sun is a metaphor for something

- “Just this once… just this once… Chaperal on three”

- I’m sobbing I’m sobbing omg ong omg

- The Shade Witch is my favorite character move aside Paeden (I’m joking I’m joking)

- SCARY IM SOBBING

- Is the rogue card still in action???

- FUCK YOU BARRRRRRY

- The same man twice!!!!!!!

- DO WE GET THE VOICES PLEASE GUVE US GHE VOICES

- Nevermindddddd

- OMG THEYRE LEARNIBG TO SHOOT

- That’s insane

- Did Normal cause Code Purple…?

- What did Normal do!?

- Another fucking cliffhanger 😭

- I genuinely think I’m going to be sick ✌️

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Planes, Trains, and Oddmobiles" Episode Followup, Part 1

Can you believe it took them 10 years to make this punny title? I can't either! But it's here now, and I'm all for it.

This time it's "Planes, Trains, and Oddmobiles", oh my! Let's send another prayer for a good episode below the break.

Now you know my mind is warped when I look at this and my first thought is "weird graveyard with three tombstones".

*low groan that ekes into a mournful glass-shattering scream*

I don't think I need to elaborate on how this episode will go.

O...kay. I don't think we've ever had any staff credit on the right of the episode before, and I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because the beakers are in-frame on the left, but...they're not relevant, so...

these were abandoned eggs

mama wants them back

Either the Huggle Monster has some incredibly corrupted child-rearing habits, or this was purely accidental.

I know for a damn fact they will not elaborate, so theorize away, folks.

If I had a nickel for every Scientist who was proficient in sewing as a way to defy gender norms, I'd have two nickels.

Which isn't a lot, but it's fuck-all insane that it's happened twice now.

Guy's fittin' t' blow a lung if he keeps doin' that.

They tell him to hurry with the tone of "we're gonna get shat on" but without the urgency of "OH FUCK SHE'S GONNA EAT US".

See, but the funny thing is that they are in a desolate area with three rocks that look like tombstones and y'know if I try hard enough they might be symbo-

Remember when entering the tubes had simple rules? Like "don't eat while riding" and "turn off all your electronics"?

Yeah, Omar's giving a "fuck you and your grandma" to that shit and bringing up a manual that has never been mentioned before. (There was Tube Safety and You from "The O Games", but that was about positioning yourself on the ride through. This is not that book.)

And it's so unbelievably stupid because, even in spite of the episode's name, you're telling me we can't get an 11-minute episode where it's Onom in the tubes? We got an 11-minute episode about the tubes in Season 1, GTFOH!

"I'm sure the Odd Squad Airline would love to help!"

I was going to make a comment on how fucking gobsmacked I was and how silly this was, but then I realized that Odd Squad is a pseudo-government organization and so of course they would have their own goddamn airline with their own goddamn private planes.

...Huh. I wonder if that's why the Task Force Department had a plane in "Overdue"?

OH F-FYACK OH GOD IT'S A HUMANIZED AIRPLANE OFUCKGEE.

Thank God they fixed the audio mixing here because otherwise my level of "I'm disturbed" would be extremely high from the plehn zoom sound alone.

Ohhhh...so this is Agent Ockpit. Honestly, I had expected her to turn up in another episode. Not in...whatever this hot mess is becoming.

That aside, though...Odd Air? Spelled like that or OddAir? I mean even putting aside that there's a fucking Plane department (actual Flight department?)...I'm more keen on spelling it out fully.

"...and the suitcase is made from my special weightless material."

Can't be too weightless if it's still abiding by the laws of the planet's gravity, Onom. That's what we call a skill issue.

"I'm sorry, but each suitcase can't weigh more than 5 pounds."

Checking...weight limits are in double digits...so this is soME HORSESHIT-

Okay, this shit made me cackle just for how I wasn't expecting Ockpit to tell him his flight is leaving in one minute.

Plehn I have not been on at all, but you'd think she'd tell him when the flight is leaving when he tried to book it. Basic common sense.

Ohhhh, so this is from the POV of the Huggle Monster. Yeah, that- that makes sense. Mmm two pieces of candy and a weird box thing.

They have books for everything under the sun that Twilight Sparkle would be jealous of, Jesus Christ.

Oh God...either this could go like in "Trials and Tubulations" or this could go like in "When Seren Cringes So Hard Her Organs Fold Into Themselves".

Aaaaand it's a vote for the latter!

The catch, of course, is that Asha Soetan is actually a professional dancer outside of Odd Squad. Isaac Kragten and Glee Dango got to show off their chops, so what's the director's excuse for her?

"Here comes the robot dance."

Somewhere, Oswald is seething by way of "SHE'S DANCING NORMALLY!!"

"One day, my robot dance will save us. Just like in "Oswald in the Machine" where-"

"Is now really the time to be bringing up past episodes?!"

"Right, right. My bad."

I'll admit, this episode hasn't made me laugh much so far...but Orli's becoming a strong contender for the comedy award for this round.

Ahhh, there it is. The "we're gonna get eaten" bit. That's the bitch. That's what I was hopin' for!

Either OddAir has some hella good leg room in a way not seen since the late 20th century, or this plane is hella crowded because they don't put all the suitcases up above the seats and under the plane and all that.

Also, dude got a seat where the row looks to be entirely empty. And plehn I have not been on, but that just barely seems possible.

(I'm choosing to ignore that we're getting another sleeping agent because at this point Omar is a man who needs a doctor and the law a sleep study.)

Even he's quoting the contrived-ass manual? GTFOH.

Oh. Yes. What I most want in my kids franchise about children in suits fighting oddness.

A POSSIBILITY OF FUCKING PLANE CRASHES.

Y'know, at least when Oprah's office had oxygen masks to breathe in, it was funny. Whether there will be a crash or not, this just made that age like milk left in the heat for three hours.

"So I'm afraid we'll be landing early, and hiding under our beds."

Ohhhh pilot, sweet summer child, if only you knew.

America has screaming children, people asking others to give up their seats for their children, and the most PR statements to ever PR when something goes wrong with no reimbursements.

The UK gives you free rail tickets if something goes wrong with your flight.

God Save Good Flying.

All right, I'm starting to see why that girl in the back looks like Olive.

One can dream...but it's not Olive.

(On to Part 2!)

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 25

SS beagle

starship wreckage no life there yeah yeah i got it

eugh, kirks in his green shirt again. awful

thats just earth

thats literally a picture of earth

theyre watching TV on the enterprise

theyre watching gladiator fights on TV on the enterprise

if theres one thing kirk hates more than war its slavery

kirks slutty little walk

yes we get it its just like the 1960s

mcspirk bickering

this is the second time spock has been referred to as devil-like

this spock dialogue sucks

wolverine???

wolverine in slutty little shorts???

"you trying to be funny?" "no"

another earth with identical political history up to a specific point??? how many of these are there???

this time its rome

spock hands kirk gay porno

it has been 0 episodes since a federation contact became an evil overlord on an alien planet after being shipwrecked. oddly specific plot beat to happen like 5 times

"rome had no sun worshipers" does apollo mean nothing to you

kirk in a slutty little t shirt

STORM TROOPERS

why cant they have kirk in shorts too :( he deserves it

ok seriously who keeps copy pasting earth

spock and bones arguments are basically gay sex

it has been 0 episodes since they pulled the "help hes sick" routine

kirk cant sexualize this blonde because shes a slave and thats not cool

southern caesar

"echo chambers are good"

spock spitting hot takes about war

we cant be violent against the roman overlords because of the prime directive. because we care about the prime directive. how long do you think itll take before they stop caring about that

just realized the slave shirts have a chain design on them. thats a neat detail

scottys schemin

surely the romans would eventually change their architecture right

this is just the wwe but with gladiators

mccoy and other sword guy kinda just tapping swords

kirks trying to emasculate southern caesar

even when facing death mccoy is bickering. i love you

gladiator panty shot

star trek you cant say slavery is bad and then say "wouldnt it be hot to have a sex slave"

really interesting dynamic from spock and mccoy this episode i like it

Lets Talk About Feelings

this is the most homoerotic scene in the entire series and i watched amok time

"why, you wouldnt know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling" make out

kirk. kirk dont make out with the sex slave. kirk. kirk.

oh wait was it a dream? that wasnt very clear

kirks ass

southern caesar being mean to his evil overlord pal

scotty ex machina

televised execution

jesus what the fuck

kirk is slippy. hes slippin. he slipped

the gangs back together!

southern caesar stabs other evil overlord. no surprises here

get beamed idiots

scotty saves the day!!!

huh. i guess they didnt end up violating the prime directive after all. aight.

uhura with the anthropology facts

sure. the slave religion is christianity. why not.

"isnt it great how christianity will dominate the roman belief system"

this episode was weird

[artzychic27]

Superstore Quotes

Adrien: It’s just like my dad always said, “If you don’t work hard, baby Jesus will cry.”

—

Nathaniel: I’ve been busting my butt trying to show you I’m a good worker, but you have your head so far up your own butt you haven’t noticed!

—

Jean: Immigrants. We get the job done.

Ismael: We?

Jean: My family’s Argentinian or something.

—

Nino: Attention all DuPont students and staff—please report to the breakroom for pizza. Because apparently, now, everyone gets pizza. Never mind that the basic infrastructure of this country makes it so that one group of people gets way more pizza than others! Or that some of us spend over four hundred years forcibly making pizza for white people!

Denise: … This isn't about pizza, is it?

Cosette: No, I don't think so.

Austin B: Yes! I love pizza!

—

M. Grotke: I just wanted to change a couple of racist policies. I didn't sign up to teach a bunch of grown-ass white people about racism.

—

Luka: I’m a hunter. Some people like to hunt elk, or deer. I hunt people, and your head is going on my wall.

—

Max: A psychopath doesn’t have a conscience. A sociopath knows what he’s doing is wrong but does it anyway.

—

Marinette: I thought I'd show up on the last day and surprise everybody.

Rose: That's so nice! What's the surprise?

Marinette: Um, just me.

Rose: Oh. I thought it would be like, donuts or something.

—

Ismael: Attention fellow students, I am graduating! On behalf of everyone in my class, I'd just like to say, BUH-BYE!… Sorry, that shouldn't be the last thing I say. One year of morning announcements. I mean, I'm not a sentimental guy; that's not my thing. But it did just occur to me that this is... this is the end. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a job. I mean, if jobs were fun, they wouldn't pay us to do it, but I don’t get paid to do this. Memories are the only things I can remember right now. You know, school sucks ninety-nine percent of the time, so you really... you really gotta enjoy those moments that don't. Those bits of fun you have during study hall. Or an interesting conversation with a classmate. Or something happens that you can laugh about later. Or you do something that you're actually proud of. If you're lucky, maybe you even get to be friends with a student or two along the way. Not sure what else you could want. At any rate, have a great last day. And have a wonderful school year next year.

—

Aurore: I think Jean likes Taylor Swift.

Lacey: No, he's back to hating her again.

—

Nathaniel: It was nice of the school to wait an entire week before they reminded us we're just as replaceable as Alix.

—

Marinette: You know Lila? The one who sucks and is like if Satan and a turd had a baby? She just walked in.

Alya: Mmhm, yeah um but your little rivalry thing is just kind of fun and friendly competition, right?

Marinette: No Alya I hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. Frankly, I'd like her dead.

—

Marc: Who are those boys?

Kiran: Oh, those are my drug dealer friends. We sit in the pile of broken bottles by the bleachers.

—

Austin A: Talk to the teachers? Gross.

[beevean]

Let's do this: top 10 most hated NFCV characters counting both shows

As a bonus, if you're willing to: top 10 worst episodes

I think I did a top 5 worst characters for both shows but I can do it again :P

11) Drolta. She doesn't do anything egregious, in fact she's kind of tolerable, but she stole Isaac's drip. And for that, I will forever be salty :) (also yeah I couldn't decide for #10 so I added one, whatcha gonna do about it)

10) Sumi and Taka. Ah yes, these two Japanese people who look identical are most assuredly not related, they are just Japanese! Aside from that, they are the emblem of S3's utter failure: they add nothing of importance except for a gratuituous (and OOC) rape scene that is supposed to send the message "humans suck, trusting is for fools"... that in on itself doesn't change a thing, because Alucard is fine afterwards. But hey, you got your bi rep! Aren't you happy with this show's representation? :)

9) Emmanuel. This guy is just stupid. Just because you lampshade how absurd it is to ally yourself with vampires because you think the Revolution is "godless", it doesn't make it any less absurd. We're still at this level of shallow, childish CHURCH BAD.

8) Sypha. You're not cute when you insult Trevor. Stop it. I remembered her being nicer than she actually was :( during the rewatch she was painful, constantly complaining, defending Alucard from Trevor rather than the other way around (but still ditching him when he needed company because yay adventures!!!), and acting bossily with her bf because that's the only kind of character they can write here. Also she's OP af and that's not fun.

7) Maria. Does she even have a personality beyond stereotypical Twitter communist teen? Good god girl shut up you are nothing more than useless backdrop!

6) Carmilla. In theory, she could be an interesting unapologetic female villain who reacted to her trauma with rage rather than sorrow, a female Dracula but even pettier. In practice, she is the parody of a radfem written by a man with zero respect for women, so you can imagine that she isn't exactly nuanced. I hate that Dracula and his boytoys were made to be absolute dumbasses for her to win, only for her to conclude effectively nothing. villain.exe

5) Alucard. You absolute cunt. Am I supposed to like, or worse being attracted to, this piece of shit who spends his time insulting Trevor and treating him like dog shit under his shoe? He has zero of the effortless charm of the real Alucard, but I'm supposed to root for him because he's hot when he cries all boobily. Fuck off with your disingenous fanservice. (also his design is atrocious and the artstyle doesn't flatter him at all)

4) Erzsébet. Literally an OC made by a 5 yo. Look at her! She's so cool and special! She's older than Dracula, stronger than Dracula, more evil than Dracula, more dangerous than Dracula, and she turns into an invincible Sun Thundercat! Yeah good job, but you forgot to give her a personality.

3) Annette. She is not a character. She is nothing more than accurately engineered discourse bait. I refuse to acknowledge this shallow attempt at "badass representation" that I am supposed to like on the sole basis of her race and gender. I am so tired of Stronk Women that are actually giant assholes, all flash and no substance.

2) Isaac. I will concede that he has the most coherent character arc of all characters, but aside from that, he pisses me off something fierce for how overrated he is. Forgettable design, pretentious as fuck, spouting faux-philosophical quotes to hide how petty he is, basically a jihadist in S3, wakes up one day in S4 and suddenly he's Muslim Jesus, disgustingly OP because the narrative finds every way to suck his shiny dick... and his amazing arc that everyone praises him for, the thing that makes him "better than that stupid gay joker from CoD"? It's just a worse version of Hector's from the mangas, which left him Hector here with no arc to speak of. Get him out of my sight.

1) Lenore. Her concept is great. She is an intriguing foil to both Carmilla and Hector, and incarnates an unique type of villainy: she is amoral, kind for her own selfish purposes, with understandable goals but willing to do anything to achieve them. I want to like her. Too bad she is a disgusting, repulsive, inconsistent, bratty rapist that I am supposed to feel sorry for because oh, she's not so bad after all :) she did everything for Hector's own good :) she's not actually evil :) she deserved to smooch the man she raped into slavery, don't you feel bad that she sunned herself like a selfish coward :) Lenore begs to be rewritten by someone who doesn't jerk off to abusive dommy mommies, but in her canon state, she makes me ill.

Now for the episodes :P

10) The Great Work (S4E7): I never watched it because it's boring as shit, which speaks of the terrible pacing of this show and especially S4. I know it has the infamous "vampires dislike crosses because their vision is fucked up" scene lmao

9) The River (S2E6): It's the episode where the zombie bishop resurrected by a dark necromancer who is now working for a vampire with plans of enslaving mankind is apparently favored by God to the point of being able to bless water. Do I need to say more? Well, it's also the episode where the heroes suddenly remember they are supposed to do shit and hack into Dracula's castle, and the episode that fully cements Dracula as an ineffectual pathetic antagonist easily manipulable by the real villain, no I don't care that he's kinda cool in For Love. (at least the scene with Carmilla avoiding the river and the castle is fun to watch)

8) Bless Your Dead Little Hearts (S3E1): The beginning of Alucard's and Trepha's plotlines, two utter mindnumbing wastes of time, and Hector's plotline, which is the show beating me over the head with a nail bat while screeching "LOOK HOW PATHETIC HECTOR IS! LOOK AT THIS PITIFUL WET CAT! LOOK AT HIM COWERING NAKED IN A CELL EATING MOLDY BREAD! FEEL SORRY FOR HIM!". Just unpleasant for all sorts of reasons.

7) It's Been A Strange Ride (S4E10): Trevor miraculously survives Death! Alucard is happy to live with his new bossy gf as if nothing ever happened! Lenore suns herself just for a final kick in the balls to Hector, whose character will forever be remembered as "useless simp"! And most importantly, Dracula and Lisa get to live again as if the dude didn't just try to exterminate mankind, and they will have endless kinky sex until she dies while Alucard will forever mourn his parents but no one gives a shit about that because we love to piss on the games! :D

6) Old Homes (S2E2): It has the double combo "Alucard being the biggest moistest cunt to Trevor while we're supposed to laugh at this hilarious banter" and "Carmilla girlbossily girlbosses all over Dracula who can't even punish this vampire who insults his wife in front of everyone, establishing herself as the cooler villain"! Joy!

5) The Good Dream (S3E6): "Walkies! :D"

4) Back In The World (S4E5): It's the one with the infamous "Oh, shush, you were having fun" :) and all the Lenore apologism that follows :)

3) You Don't Deserve My Blood (S4E6): I get it. Isaac is Jesus and I should drop to my knees to suck his entire dick. Good thing this is his last appearance. Other than that, this episode is the last nail in the coffin for what was left of Hector's character, who is revealed to have been working to resurrect Dracula (a complete spit in the face to everything he stood for in S2) and also chooses to stay with his rapist instead of seeking true freedom.

2/1) The Harvest (S3E9)/Abandon All Hope (S3E10): It's hard to separate the two, and I wouldn't know which one is worse. The Harvest is infamous for being half boring fight scenes, and half "hot" sex scenes that are actually rape by deception: the entire episode is simply uncomfortable to sit through, not helped by the shoddy editing. Abandon All Hope is the season finally dropping its final message: "the world sucks, and you will be betrayed". Everyone except babyboy Isaac is left traumatized and cynical because we are so fucking edgy, we are just like Berserk fr fr. And, of course, in retrospect, Alucard and Hector's endings piss me off even more as all of their pain was for fucking nothing :)

(Nocturne is completely forgettable and doesn't reach the peaks of NFCV so it deserves its own ranking)