#yeah this goes here. holy shit LOL

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

meow〜

[lalalovejay]

|| NDA || ~ Lee Heeseung

♤Pairings: idol!heeseungXfem!fangirl!reader

♤Synopsis: Attending the New York show for Enhypen's first world tour, you find yourself in quite the predicament when a man approaches you and your best friend with a question that leaves you absolutely flabbergasted.

"Would you be willing to sign an NDA?"

♤Warnings: just straight up smut with a little plot, dom!heeseung, sub!reader, protected sex, cunnilingus(f!receiving), p in v, use of pet names (good girl, sir, princess, angel), use of derogatory names (slut, whore), blowjob(m!receiving), fingering(f!receiving), hair pulling, choking, I think that's it

♤Author's Note: This is 1000000% delusional and not based on any true stories. This is my first time writing smut on this platform, so please give me some feedback to help me do better next time! I would really appreciate it:) Also, this has been in my drafts for monthsssss so I finally finished it lol

(MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

"Hey, you ready to go?" Lucy asks you as she pulls on her boots.

"Yeah, one sec." You say before applying lipgloss over your red stained lips.

Grabbing your bag and lightstick, you follow your best friend out of your hotel room. Lucy skips down the hallway as you laugh at her giddiness.

"I can't believe we're actually gonna see them live! I'm so fucking excited!" Lucy squeals as you both reach the elevators.

Pressing on the button, you look over at her with an excited smile on your face.

"I can not wait to see Jake in real life. I'm so down bad for that man." You sigh at just the thought of him.

Lucy giggles and agrees.

"I need Sunghoon to read my sign and send me a kiss. After that, I can die in peace." She jokes along with you.

The elevator doors ding open before you both step in. Pressing the button for the lobby, you both patiently wait for the elevator to reach the ground level before stepping out.

"What if during Polaroid Love they come up to our section?! Please! I need Heeseung to sing to me!" Lucy groans as she imagines the man staring deep into her eyes as he serenades her.

You giggle at your friend who begins to daydream of concert scenarios.

"If they do come up to our section, I hope I can get Jake's attention." You say as you look down at the Jake photocard that hangs on your concert bag.

"I mean, we're hot. We're bound to get someone's attention, right?" Lucy jokingly says as you two exit the hotel doors and walk to the subway station.

After taking the subways to the venue, you both get in line as the time for the show to start inches closer. You both were able to get your hands on some freebies and banners while you waited.

Going through security and finding your seats, you two excitedly take pictures and videos of the venue and other fans in the crowd as you all wait for the show to begin.

"Holy shit! Holy shit! We're actually here!" You squeal at Lucy, who matches your energy as she holds your hand.

"Please! I need one interaction, and I'll be the happiest girl alive!" She says as she stares at the stage a few feet away from where your section was.

You two were able to find fairly good seats with an amazing view of the stage on the right side of the venue. Only a few rows up and at the end of the row in the aisle. Praying that the boys would come up to your section when they performed Polaroid Love.

Soon, the intro music began to play as the lights dimmed. The VCR begins playing as everyone screams. Lightsticks waving in the air as the screen begins moving. The 7 members of Enhypen on stage ready to give a performance of a lifetime for their loving fans.

You and Lucy scream as your biases face pop up on the big screen. Their stares are very intense as they each get into position to perform their opening song.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! JAKE MOTHER FUCKING SIM!" You scream as he pops up on screen once again.

The concert goes on as planned. Each performance leaves everyone in awe. You and Lucy fangirling like no other. On this particular night, the fans had come up with a project for Heeseung as it was his birthday. While the members had their talking moment, the fans began singing Happy Birthday when the screen showed Heeseung. His smile was wide as he listened to the fans and members sing him a happy birthday.

In that moment, something switched in you. You always knew that Heeseung was a very attractive man. He was everything a girl wanted. Tall, handsome, funny, sweet, and good at everything.

"I think he just bias wrecked me with that smile." You tell Lucy as your eyes stayed glued onto Heeseung, who laughs slightly as he says his words.

Lucy laughs as she follows your line of sight to the man. His hair had been styled to show his forehead. He was absolutely glowing on his birthday.

"Don't tell Jake." You jokingly threaten Lucy as she shakes her head with a knowing smile on her face.

"Little Miss, I only want Jake Sim, is finally joining the dark side. Lee Heeseung will eventually have you wrapped around his finger. It's a canon event." Lucy says in a matter of fact tone as she goes back to ogling over Sunghoon, who began speaking.

For the rest of the night, your eyes tried to stay on Jake, but you found yourself searching for Heeseung every now and then. His stage presence was very overwhelming, and had you wishing you could see his beautiful face up close.

When Polaroid Love began playing, you and Lucy sang along, not really getting your hopes up of them coming to your section. The moment they ran off stage and began roaming the crowd, you and Lucy screamed in happiness.

Suddenly, the spotlight was shown in your section. You and Lucy look at each other with wide eyes.

"No.fucking.way." She says as you both look back at the group of boys making their way to your section.

You and Lucy scream, even louder, as they get closer. Jungwon leads the way as Jake, Niki and Heeseung follow behind. You and Lucy both stand next to each other as they walk by, Jungwon giving you both a kind smile and a high five. Jake smirks slightly as he sees the 'Jake' sticker on your lightstick. Lucy records the whole thing. Jake sends you a flying kiss before walking further up. Your eyes were too focused on the man to notice that Heeseung was standing directly in front of you after Niki passes by finishing Lucy's hand heart. Lucy pulls on your shoulder to get your attention, her own mouth agape as Heeseung stands in front of you both.

You swing back around and come face to face with a pair of dark eyes, a glint of playfulness swimming in them. You gasp as Heeseung smirks, bringing the mic to his lips as he begins singing to you. Your eyes widen as his eyes stare deeply into your own.

He sends a wink before following after the other boys who begin making their way back to the stage.

"OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?" Lucy screams as she shakes your shoulders.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" You scream back as you both fangirl over your interactions.

"I GOT IT ON CAMERA!" Lucy realizes as she looks down at her phone in her hand.

"Send it to me!" You say as you look back to the stage where they continued performing.

As the night goes on, you could have sworn that Heeseung had been glancing at your section for the rest of the concert. He interacted more with your side, and his eyes found your own a few times throughout the night.

"He wanna fuck." Lucy jokes as she catches Heeseung looking over again.

You chuckle as you enjoy the moment. Trying not to feel super flustered at the whole interaction you had with Heeseung knowing that he was just really good at fan service and you didn't want your delusions to get the best of you.

As the concert comes to an end and you all sadly have to say your goodbyes, the screen closes on the members as the lights turn on once again. You and Lucy stay seated as everyone around you picks up confetti and takes pictures or videos.

"I'm shook. Sunghoon sent me a kiss. I can die happily." Lucy dreamily says as she rewatches her concert videos.

"Let me see the Heeseung interaction again, I need to relive it." You ask Lucy as she scrolls through her camera roll to find the video.

Just as she was about to press play, you felt a tap on your left shoulder. You quickly look up to see who it was that had tapped you. A young Korean man stood before you both. The staff lanyard hanging around his neck.

"Yes?" You ask curiously.

You hoped you hadn't done anything wrong for the staff to come to you personally.

"Hi, I'm part of the staff traveling with the artists. I was asked by their manager to come get you both. He has a few questions and would like to talk." He tells you in a hushed voice so no one else could hear.

Lucy looks at you confused. You look back at her with the same expression.

"Uh, sure?" You say as you get up.

He leads you both towards the exit and into a door that says, 'Employees Only'. Lucy looks over at you nervously as you walk down a narrow hallway bustling with staff cleaning up. The man leads you to a door that says 'Management' and knocks twice.

"Come in!" A voice booms from inside.

He opens the door and steps to the side to allow you both to enter. You look over at Lucy uneasily but step in anyway. There were a lot of people around, so if anything happened, you would be able to scream for help. Lucy follows behind you hesitantly, and the man shuts the door once you both enter.

Two men sit on the couch and chair of the room as you both stand there awkwardly. You notice that the two men were Enhypen managers. Recognizing them instantly because of airport photos.

"Hello! I'm Sejin. Please, sit." The older man introduces himself and gestures to the two chairs across from them.

You look over at Lucy, who just shrugs and takes a seat. You follow her move and sit in the chair beside her.

"Are we in some sort of trouble?" Lucy asks as her eyes glance around the room nervously.

"Not at all! This discussion has to be private in order to protect our artists' image, so we asked to see you in private without the prying eyes and ears. My name is Woobin, by the way." Another manager tells you both.

"So what is this about?" You ask curiously.

Your eyes narrow in on the papers and pen sitting on the table in front of you all. The big letters, 'NDA', are boldly printed at the top. Your eyes widen slightly as you realize what's about to happen. You had only heard stories of this type of thing and never expected it to happen to you.

"Before we discuss any further. Would you be willing to sign an NDA? We can not disclose the topic of this conversation unless we have your full trust that you will not leak, speak, or even hint at having this conversation with us." Sejin asks the two of you.

You look over at Lucy, who looks back at you with wide eyes. Both of you realized exactly what they wanted to talk about.

"Before you make any decisions, may I ask your age and for your ID to confirm?" Woobin asks.

"I'm 21, and she's 20." You say as you and Lucy pull out your own IDs to show them.

Woobin looks it over before handing them to Sejin, who examines them as well. He nods his head before handing them back to you.

"So, will you sign? If you don't feel comfortable with it, it is understandable, and we'll have another staff member walk you two out safely." Sejin reassures you both of your safety.

"I'll sign." Lucy is the first to speak up.

You look at her in bewilderment.

"Lucy." You say her name to gain her attention.

"What? I want to know what they want to talk about. Besides, it's only an NDA. If you read the fine print, you should be fine before signing." Lucy says as she grabs the papers that lay on the table.

You sigh and grab them as well. Reading through the pages, eyes scanning over every printed word down to the page number that is printed on the bottom corner.

"Are you seriously gonna do this?" You ask Lucy.

"When will we ever get the chance to sign an NDA contract with an idol groups manager that we stan? Never. So, yes, I'm doing this." Lucy says as she gives the two men a small smile and picks up the pen to sign her name on the contract line.

You sigh as you contemplate for a little longer. You don't want Lucy to go through this alone. Worried about her safety you stupidly sign your name on the contract as well.

Handing the two contracts back to Woobin, he and Sejin sign their own names and place the contract into a small folder.

"Perfect. Now we can get to talking. The reason for this conversation is that 2 of our artists have asked to meet you both. If you agree, we will have a staff car pick you up from your accommodations and bring you to the artist hotel where you two will meet. Whatever happens between you both must be consensual, or it will be a breach of contract. It must be kept secret and hidden from others, or it will be a breach of contract. Do you both understand?" Sejin begins explaining.

"Yes." You and Lucy say.

"Good. If you would like to meet the 2 artists, you can give us a call at this number, and we will send a car to pick you up. This is all with your own consent, of course. If you decide not to, this conversation will stay between us, or it will be a breach of contract. We will not force you two to do anything you do not consent to. Our top priority is the safety of our artists and of you if you choose to meet with them." Sejin continues and hands you both a small card with only a phone number printed on it.

"Can I ask who the 2 artists are? And which of them asked for who?" Lucy asks them.

"Our artists Sunghoon and Heeseung. Sunghoon has asked for you, Miss Lucy. And Heeseung has asked for you, Miss (Y/N)." Woobin informs you both.

Lucy looks over at you in shock. Her bias had asked to meet with her. While you, on the other hand, had your bias wrecker of the night asking to meet with you.

"Oh 100% I am A okay to meet with Sunghoon." Lucy squeals as the information settles in.

You couldn't believe this was actually happening. Lee Heeseung had asked to meet with you. You. Of all the people he saw in that crowd tonight.

"Well, we have Miss Lucy's consent. How about you, Miss (Y/n)? If you still need time to think about it, we completely understand and will be a phone call away awaiting your answer." Sejin says.

"Okay." You whisper.

"I'm sorry?" Sejin asks, not hearing you properly.

"I said okay. I agree to meet with Heeseung." You tell him a little louder.

Your heartbeat drums in your ears as you continue to let the information sink in. Lucy squeals happily beside you as the two men give you both a reassuring smile.

"Great! You're more than welcome to return to your accommodations. The 2 should be back in their hotel rooms right about now. Since today is Heeseung's birthday, he will be doing a live before meeting with you. Will you both be okay with meeting the two around 12:30 am?" Sejin asks.

Lucy quickly nods her head.

"Yes! We'll be ready by then." She answers for you both.

Sejin smiles.

"Perfect. Just call the number when you're ready. Woobin will escort you ladies out. It was nice meeting you both." Sejin says and reaches his hand out for a handshake.

You take his hand and give it a firm shake in gratitude as Lucy does the same after you. Woobin gestures for you two to follow him out of the room and back into the once bustling hallway. The staff had cleaned up pretty much everything, and the hallway was now empty. He leads you towards the exit and allows security to walk you out the door.

Once you two make it outside, Lucy jumps up in excitement.

"Oh my god....that just happened." You finally realize the situation you were both in.

"I'm gonna get dicked down by my bias. This is fucking wild." Lucy laughs as she wraps an arm around your shoulders.

"I knew Heeseung wanted to fuck when he came up to you with that look in his eyes. He wanted you so bad, I'm telling you." Lucy says as you both walk back to the subway station.

Getting back to your hotel room, Lucy quickly rummages through her luggage for something presentable to wear for Sunghoon.

"Good thing we got waxed for this trip." Lucy jokes as she pulls out an over-sized button-up and a pair of biker shorts.

"I'm gonna rinse off the sweat from the concert. Feel free to look through my clothes if you don't have anything." Lucy winks at you before walking into the bathroom.

It was currently 11:56pm. Your weverse notifies you that a member of Enhypen was now live. Unlocking your phone, you click on the notification that brings you to the app and into the live. On the screen pops up Heeseung with his birthday cake. He's dressed in a black hoodie with the hood up. His dangly earrings sway every time he moves his head.

His bare face takes your breath away as you realize that you will be meeting with this man in less than an hour. You quickly rummage through your luggage for something to wear as the live continues playing in the background. Opting for something casual yet easily accessible, you pull out a pair of spandex and a hoodie. Opting for the only matching set you brought with you, the lacy white set begs for you to wear it and finally get some action. You weren't even sure what possessed you to bring a lingerie set in the first place, but you thanked the gods you did.

Lucy comes out from the bathroom dressed in her button-up and shorts. Her hair had been recurled slightly to give it a little more volume. You could tell she had retouched her makeup as well.

"Heeseung is live right now. I'm gonna rinse off as well and change." You tell Lucy as you walk into the bathroom with your clothes.

Lucy immediately snatches your phone and watches the live. Giggling as she realized the other members had entered and began celebrating with him.

After you get ready and make sure you have all your things, Lucy dials the number on the card. It was currently 12:23 am. The person on the other line asks for the hotel name and says that a car would be ready for them in 10 minutes.

Nerves settle into the pit of your stomach as the time inches closer and closer.

"Am I really about to have a one night stand with Lee Heeseung?" You ask Lucy who only laughs at your question.

"Yes. You're about to get a taste of South Korea." She winks at you before pulling you out the door and towards the elevator.

The entire ride to the hotel had your stomach in twists. Nerves eating at you as you enter the hotel Enhypen and their staff were currently staying in. You play with the hem of your hoodie as you both ride the elevator up to the floor the members are currently staying on.

"Sunghoon is in room 70G, and Heeseung is in 72G." The staff member informs you both as you reach the 7th floor of the hotel.

"Thank you." You say to the staff member as you exit the elevator.

Lucy holds your hand tightly as you walk down the quiet hallway towards the rooms. Your eyes scan the numbers on the doors, searching for the one that currently occupies the idol who had asked to meet you. You both reach 70G first. Meaning Lucy will be leaving you alone for the rest of the night.

"Have fun." Lucy winks at you before knocking on the door.

A moment later, the door is being pulled open by none other than Park Sunghoon himself. His eyes glance over at you for a second before going back to Lucy.

"Hi." He says quietly as he opens the door a little wider for Lucy to enter.

Lucy gives you a thumbs up before stepping in. Sunghoon bows his head slightly to you before shutting the door behind Lucy.

You mentally curse at yourself as you awkwardly walk to the room with 72G plastered on its door. Taking in a deep breath, you bring your hand up to knock on the door. You hear shuffling and the sound of someone walking over before the door is being pulled open. Heeseung stands before you with his hood still on the way you had seen it when you were watching his live earlier.

"Hi." You manage to squeak out as Heeseung's eyes look you up and down.

A different look in them now compared to the sweet eyes you had seen on his live. He smirks slightly.

"Hi." He says back to you before stepping aside and pulling the door open wider to allow you entry.

You nervously step forward and enter the hotel room. Heeseung closes the door behind you both and leads you further into the room. You see the partially eaten cake sitting on the desk and the fallen balloons on the second bed.

"Uh, I just ended the live not too long ago, so don't worry about the camera." Heeseung reassures you as he points at the camera that sits on the tripod in front of the cake.

You already knew that because your phone had been playing his live the entire time you were on the way over. He had ended the live before you reached his door.

"No worries!" You smile up at the man before you.

His height towering over your small frame as you awkwardly shift from leg to leg. Heeseung chuckles before taking your bag from your hand and setting it on the table behind him.

"So, what's your name?" He asks you as he sits down on the rolling chair and gestures for you to take a seat on the edge of the bed.

You follow his lead and sit down before stuffing your hands in your hoodie pockets out of nervousness. Heeseung was wearing a pair of gray sweats along with his black hoodie that looked so good on him. His face looked 10 times better bare. His smile sent arrows into your heart, whereas his smirks sent a chill down your spine.

"My name is (Y/n)." You tell him as your eyes dart around the room.

Heeseung finds you cute as you try not to make eye contact with him.

He chuckles before getting up from the chair and standing in front of you. Your eyes widen as you look up at him from your seated position. The tension filling the air quickly. His eyes hooded as he looked down at you with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

"You're very pretty." Heeseung compliments you.

He brings a hand up to cup the side of your face. Thumb pressed gently on your bottom lip.

"Is this okay?" He asks you.

You can't speak. Only nodding your head slightly.

"I need words, princess. Can I touch you?" He asks.

His voice two tones deeper than usual. The arousal clear in his eyes. You feel the butterflies swarming your stomach at the pet name.

"Yes." You say as you continue looking up at him with slightly wide eyes.

Heeseung smirks.

"Good girl." He says before pressing his thumb past your lips and onto your tongue.

You raise a hand up to wrap around his wrist gently. Closing your lips around his thumb, you suck on his finger. Heeseung chuckles at the sight of you.

"Are you gonna let me ruin you tonight, angel?" Heeseung pulls his thumb from your mouth to allow you to answer him.

"Yes, sir." You find yourself falling into submission for him rather quickly.

Heeseung's eyes darken at the name given to him.

"How do you like it, baby? I won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable." Heeseung asks.

Reassuring you that he won't take advantage of you and will abide by your consent.

"I like it rough, sir. Wanna cry for you. Wanna make you feel good, sir." The confidence rising in you as Heeseung's eyes eat you up.

"Fuck." He groans before leaning down to crash his lips against your own.

Your hands find their way into his hair, gripping at the roots as one of his hands wraps around your throat gently, and the other slides up your hoodie to grip your waist. Pushing you down on the soft bed, lips smacking, teeth clashing, tongues colliding. The kiss is heated and messy as you both move further up along the bed to get into a more comfortable position.

Heeseung has his knees on either side of your hips, trapping you beneath him. His hand that grips your waist moves up slightly to touch the underside of your right boob. You sigh at the feeling of his some what rough hands on your skin.

"Take it off." Heeseung commands, gesturing to your hoodie.

You waste no time sitting up slightly to pull off your hoodie and toss it to the side. Your white lace bra cupping your tits perfectly on display for Heeseung to see. He moans slightly at the sight, his hands coming down to grope them.

"You look so pretty in white, angel. Is this all for me?" Heeseung asks.

You moan at his touch. Heeseung places kisses from your jaw down to your neck. Sucking harshly and leaving marks down your clavicle to your chest. One of his hands pulls down the lacy cup of the bra and frees your left breast. Nipples hard as your arousal kicks in. Your hands grip the sheets beneath you.

"Yes, sir. All for you." You moan out when he begins teasing your nipple.

Heeseung wraps his lips around the free breast, sucking and biting on your nipple while his other hand continues groping your other one. Giving both of your boobs plenty of attention. You feel the wetness pooling in your panties at the stimulation.

"So good, sir." You moan.

Praising Heeseung for the pleasure he's giving you.

Heeseung pulls away to slip off his own hoodie. Staring down at you with lust filled eyes. You admire his body. Lean and fit. His abs faintly showing and his v-line directing your eyes to his achingly hard cock straining against his sweatpants. Just the outline alone had you drooling. He was big. Long and thick.

Heeseung smirks down at you as he catches you shamelessly gawking over his naked torso.

You gulp slightly as you meet his dark eyes once again.

"You can touch me, angel." He chuckles.

Your hands move on their own accord as they roam down his chest. Feeling his hot skin beneath your palms. Every dip of his muscles. You were in absolute shock that you were touching one of your idols in this way.

Heeseung places a hand on your own, guiding you further down to where he wanted to feel you the most. Palming his hard on with your own soft hands, he groans at the contact.

"Was thinking about this the entire time I was performing. Saw you screaming so prettily for us. Wanted to hear you scream my name only." Heeseung tells you.

You gasp as he wraps your fingers around his clothed cock. Your thighs squeezing together underneath him.

"Wanna see you, sir. Wanna have my mouth full of you, please." You whine.

He smirks at your words.

"Anything you want, princess." Heeseung says before sliding off the bed to help you down on your knees.

You stare up at him through your lashes as you slide his sweatpants further down his hips and past his mid thigh. Dragging his briefs down with it. His aching cock springing up to gently slap at his lower stomach. The tip red and leaking with precum. His dick print did nothing in preparing you for his actual bare cock. It was a pretty pink with a few prominent veins from the base to the tip. He was long and fairly thick.

You lick your lips as you look up at Heeseung for permission to continue. He chuckles before pulling on your hair and holding it back for you.

"Go on, angel." Heeseung gives you the go.

You wrap a hand around his base, squeezing slightly to get a good feel of his weight. He hisses through his teeth when he finally feels your soft hands wrapped around him. His dark eyes never once leaving your dirty ministrations below him. You collect some saliva into your mouth before spitting on his cock. Using it as a lubricant to move your hand quicker up and down his dick. He groans as you wrap your lips around the head of his cock. Sucking lightly and licking his slit. Your other hand comes up to grope his balls. Toying with them as your lips move further down his hard length. The feeling of your warm mouth wrapped around him has Heeseung in a daze.

"Fuck. You're not an angel at all. You're just a filthy cock whore aren't you? Letting someone you don't even know fuck your mouth like this. I'm gonna fuck you so hard and ruin you for anyone else. Not even Jake would be able to please you like I will." Heeseung harshly says as he takes over and thrusts his cock down your throat.

You gag slightly at his sudden move. Not prepared yet to take him so far. Your eyes water as he pulls out of your mouth with his tip resting on your bottom lip. Heeseung smirks before slipping his cock back in your mouth, fucking your face for his own pleasure. You said you liked it rough so Heeseung was gonna give you just that.

You obediently sit on your knees and let him fuck your throat. Trying to relax your muscles as much as you could with him slipping further and further down. Your hands grip onto his flexed thighs, nails leaving an imprint on his fair skin as you try and breathe. The sounds of you gagging and Heeseung's groans fill the room entirely. You stare up at the man before you, looking god sent as he basks in the feeling of your mouth.

"Fuck me." He curses as he feels his orgasm approaching.

He looks down at your teary eyes, cheeks red and lips puffy. God, you looked so beautiful.

"Gonna cum for my cock whore. Are you gonna take it all, baby? Be my good girl?" Heeseung asks as his thrusts slow down slightly to grant you some mercy.

You nod your head, greedily sucking in as much air as you could before Heeseung decides to slip down your throat for much longer this time. Tears fall from your eyes at the sudden move. You couldn't breathe but you tried your best to get Heeseung to cum quickly.

He groans as he feels his orgasm washing over him. Releasing his cum down your throat.

"Fuck!" He moans out, throwing his head back at the feeling of his high.

He pulls out of your mouth, his cock still semi-hard as he watches you swallow his cum. A few drops dripping down your chin. Heeseung swipes his finger across your chin to pick up the rest of his cum that dripped past your lips. He slips his cum coated finger into your sore mouth, letting you suck the rest of it off. Opening your mouth, you stick your tongue out to show him that you had swallowed it all like a good girl.

"What a dirty whore." Heeseung smirks before pulling you onto your feet and crashing his lips against your own.

You whimper against his tongue that intrudes your mouth. Tasting you and his own cum on your tongue. His hands snake around your body and greedily unclasps your bra. You gasp against his lips at the feeling of your bare chest meeting the cool air of the room.

"The most perfect pair of tits I've ever seen." Heeseung compliments.

Pushing your body gently onto the bed, your back against the soft sheets. Heeseung pulls your shorts down, leaving you in nothing but your lace panties.

"I wanna taste you, baby. Will you let me have a taste?" He asks you as he lays in between your open legs.

Kissing up your soft thighs closer and closer to your needy core. You moan at the feeling of his soft lips against your warm skin.

"Yes, sir. Want you so bad. Please. Please. Please." You give him consent to eat you out.

Heeseung wastes no time in diving in. The sweet smell of you intoxicating his senses. He kisses your wet slit through your lace panties. The embarrassingly wet patch soaking through the thin fabric. Bringing his fingers up to your clothed pussy, he slips the thin material to the side allowing him to see your pretty pussy up close. Blowing slightly on your sensitive core, teasing you to wrap your thighs around his shoulders.

"Don't tease, sir. Please. Been so good for you." You beg him.

"Wanna take my time with you, angel. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have this pussy ever again." Heeseung says before licking a stripe up your folds to your clit.

Sucking on the sensitive bud, you moan out loud at the pleasure that travels up your spine. Your needy pussy finally getting the attention it wanted. Your right hand finds solace in Heeseung's hair, gripping harshly making Heeseung moan against your cunt. Your left hand grips onto the pillow you're currently laying on. The sweet pleasure sending you into a state of euphoria. You've never been the biggest fan of someone eating your cunt but the way Heeseung absolutely makes out with your pussy like it's the only thing he lives for has you on cloud nine.

"FUCK!" You scream out when you feel Heeseung's two fingers enter your tight hole.

His fingers curling just right against your warm walls. Lips sucking and tongue licking your pussy like a man starved. Heeseung watches your every expression. The way your eyes roll back and clench shut every time he sucks on your clit. How your head is thrown back when his fingers reach deeper inside of you. He probably enjoyed this more than you were. His cock already achingly hard once again at just your noises alone. The way you moan out curse words and his name.

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to let you go after this. He was drunk on you and your body. The way it reacted to him had him praying he'd see you again after this.

You feel the knot in your stomach tighten as Heeseung sucks harshly on your clit.

"DON'T STOP! OH GOD I'M GONNA CUM!" You tell Heeseung.

His fingers pump in slightly quicker to get you to reach your high. Heeseung is messy as he laps at your cunt. It only takes him one last pump of his fingers to have you tipping over the edge.

"FUCK ME!" You moan out as your legs shake around his shoulders.

Locking him in as he licks you through your orgasm. Your cum dripping out and around his fingers, staining his chin and the sheets below you both.

You whimper as the overstimulation settles in. Unlocking your weak legs from around his shoulders and pushing his head away from your sensitive pussy.

"Too much, sir." You weakly tell him.

The aftershocks of your mind blowing orgasm leaving you hazy.

"Tastes so fucking sweet, baby girl. Could eat you for the rest of my life." Heeseung says, sucking on his cum soaked fingers.

You bite your lip at the sight of him. His eyes are hooded and dark, his face filled with pure pleasure.

"Fuck me please, sir. Wanna feel your big cock stretching my pussy. It's all yours, sir. All for you, Heeseung." You whine.

Sitting up from your position, lips attaching to his once again to taste yourself on his tongue. Heeseung slips out of his sweats and briefs. Pumping his hard cock and pushing you back down on the bed. His lips never leaving your own as he pushes your knees up to your chest.

"Gonna fuck this pretty pussy until you're cumming around my cock, princess. Wanna see you cry for me like you promised. Make me the happiest birthday boy, yeah?" Heeseung teases you.

"Yes, please. Wanna give you the best birthday gift, sir." You tell him.

Heeseung pulls out a condom from the nightstand beside the bed. Ripping the wrapper with his teeth, he rolls the condom onto his hard cock and aligns himself with your tight hole. You both gasp as the tip of his cock slips into your wet pussy. Not wanting to waste any more time teasing. Heeseung stares deeply into your eyes. Pushing your knees further down against your chest, he slips into you deeper. Moaning at the feeling of your tight and warm pussy wrapping around him, Heeseung slips a hand around your neck and lightly squeezes.

He bottoms out in your pussy, pushing all the way in in one swift movement. You whimper when you feel the tip of his cock push past your walls and kiss your cervix. He was definitely the biggest and thickest cock you've ever had. The slight pain quickly turning into pleasure.

"Please fuck me, sir. Want it rough. Wanna cum on your cock so bad." You say breathlessly as you stare into Heeseung's eyes.

"Fuck." Was all Heeseung could say before pulling out of your pussy and slamming back in to you roughly.

His hips move mercilessly as he thrusts into your soaking cunt at a pace that has you seeing stars. You weren't even sure where all this strength came from. He had just finished an almost 3 hour concert yet he was fucking into you like he had all the stamina in the world.

Heeseung's hand squeezes your neck tighter. His cock brushing against your womb with every thrust.

"So. Fucking. Tight." He groans out the words between each quick move of his hips.

The sound of skin on skin and your moans fill the hotel room. You completely forget that your best friend was also in the room next door probably also getting her back blown out by Sunghoon.

"Oh shit. Oh fuck. Yes, yes, yes!" You can't get a proper sentence out.

Heeseung was fucking you too good. It had been a while since you last got laid, but none of your past sexual partners could ever compare to Heeseung.

He truly was ruining you for anyone else.

"My dirty slut. Pussy so wet and welcoming for me. It's all mine. Say it. Say this pussy belongs to me." Heeseung let's his possessiveness run wild.

He knew you weren't his, but hearing you say it would push him closer to the edge. He needed to hear you say you were his.

"Fuck! It's all yours. This pussy is only yours." Your mind is hazy as the words spill out.

The tightening knot in your stomach about to break away. Tears fall from your glossy eyes as Heeseung tightens his hold around your throat.

"I can feel you clenching around me so tightly, princess. Are you gonna cum? Go ahead and cum all over me, baby. Wanna feel you cream my cock." Heeeseung says as he rests on his knees and pulls your hips higher to fuck into you at a different angle.

The change in position has the tip of his cock hitting your g-spot head-on. A loud moan rips from your throat at the new feeling.

"FUCK! I'm cumming." You let him know before you completely let go of the tight knot.

Your second orgasm washing over your body in waves. Thighs trembling by Heeseung's sides as both his hands move down to grip your waist tightly. He wasn't far behind you as he fucks you through your high and into overstimulation.

"Cum for me, sir. Please." Your eyes glossy, lips parted, and hair a beautiful mess against the white sheets.

Heeseung wishes he could take a picture of just how good you looked at this moment all fucked out on his cock.

"Shit." He moans out as he finally tips over the edge and cums into the condom.

His thighs clench tightly as he shoots his cum into the rubber. It flows out around the base of his cock and slides down the back of your thighs and to your ass. He couldn't believe he came so much that it leaked out from the condom. It's never happened with anyone else he's been with.

Letting your waist go, he leans down to connect your lips once again. This time, it was a little slower and more sensual. Not hungry or needy.

"Thank you." Heeseung says as he pulls away from you to stare at you.

You finally feel the shyness creeping back up on your face as you come out of your sex haze.

"For what?" You ask him after a few seconds of silence.

He smiles his dazzling smile down at you and pecks your lips.

"For giving me the best gift this year." He tells you.

You cover your face with your hands as the heat creeps onto your cheeks. Heeseung chuckles at your embarrassment and presses soft kisses to the backs of your hands and wrist. Gently prying your hands away so he could see you again.

He was still soft inside you, and you felt very sticky between your thighs, but you didn't mind because having Heeseung close to you like this was something you could only ever dream of.

"Let's get washed up, yeah? Then we'll figure out what to do next." He suggests.

You look up at him in slight shock. You expected him to just ask you to leave quietly after this, but his words insinuated he wanted to spend more time with you.

You agree to the washing up part, so Heeseung slips out of you and throws the used condom away. Heeseung asks you to join him in the shower, and so you do. He gently washes you and pampers you with soft kisses against your shoulders and neck. Making you cum for the third time that night on his fingers. Heeseung really couldn't get enough of you.

When you both finished and you were dressed in nothing but one of his large clean shirts, you two lay on the other bed in the room and get to know one another better.

You tell Heeseung about your job back at home, your family, your best friend that was currently still next door, and how you got into Enhypen.

Heeseung tells you stories of his life when he was a trainee, his time on I-Land, the other members, and even about his family.

You two were really getting close, and you hadn't even realized it was nearing 3 in the morning. Talking to Heeseung came easily. He wasn't judgemental and had a comforting aura that just made you feel welcome. You didn't feel like a fan and their idol.

Just you and Heeseung.

Two regular people.

"I don't think I can let you go after this." Heeseung tells you honestly as he looks over at you.

He had been playing with your fingers while you told him about a childhood story.

You feel your heart stop at that moment. Your eyes finding his own to see if he was just saying it to fuck with you or not. A nervous smile plays on his lips as he adverts his gaze to the ceiling. Butterflies swarm in your stomach as you fully observe the actual beauty that makes up Lee Heeseung.

"I think we'll get in trouble if we keep in touch." You tell him.

He sighs and nods his head.

"I know. But.....you can keep a secret, right?" A mischievous look dances in his eyes as he finally looks over at you.

You smirk up at him.

"I didn't sign an NDA for no reason." You joke.

[imnameimswrld]

ⵌ ׄ ۪ 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐆𝐔𝐘 ⁰⁰ ׄ ⑅ CS ‌˖ ֺ ᰮ

—  DESCRIPTION   ੭ in which, choi san goes from "that one shirtless guy" at coachella to a father of a whole ass formula 1 fandom.

—  PAIRING   ੭ haas!driver x choi san.

—  FILE   ੭ social media au.

—  WARNINGS   ੭ language.

—  SERIES   ੭ "WAIT...THEY MAKE SENSE !?" .

❪ main masterlist | kpop masterlist | f1 masterlist ❫

━━━━━━━━━━❪ 🖤 ❫━━━━━━━━━━

ynusername added to their story ! • 1hr

seen by landonorris, lewishamilton, and 2 223 233 others

landonorris replied to your story !

not u going to THE festival without ME.

and here I thought, we were friends.

mf, I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING.

you just don't utilize those two things on either side of your head.

dumbass.

😧😔, I see.

ynusername

liked by charles_leclerc, sabrinacarpenter, and 2 424 243 others

ynusername what a weekend omfg, THANK YOU COACHELLA !!

View all comments

user1 now wait just one damned minute...ain't that seonghwa and san in slide 7 ???

↳ user2 ayo since when does mother hang with ATEEZ ?? SPILL THE TEA MOTHER.

user3 yn's a atiny AND a fearnot !? my worlds are colliding holy shit.

user4 WHO IS THAT MAN MOTHER

comments have been limited under this post

ateez_official_ added to their story ! • 1hr

seen by ynusername, howtodraw.cs, and 1 232 333 others

MY VV GIRL 🏎❤

sooo

when were u gonna tell me we broke up ?

MOUNTAIN CAT ⛰🐈‍⬛

i almost fucking stormed into that office and put my manager in a chokehold

if hwa hyung hadn't stopped me, I'd be sending this from a jail cell.

I will fix this, yn

MY VV GIRL 🏎❤

hey, honey, it's okay

don't do something that'll get you into trouble please.

MOUNTAIN CAT ⛰🐈‍⬛

no baby, it's not okay, and I'm going to make this right.

I'm not going to let the company flat out lie and let people think you're free and for the taking.

MY VV GIRL 🏎❤

possessive, are we ?

MOUNTAIN CAT ⛰🐈‍⬛

you know damn well I am.

MY VV GIRL 🏎❤

and I love it 😍😍

MOUNTAIN CAT ⛰ 🐈‍⬛

I gotta go baby, my flight is leaving

I love you ! ❤

MY VV GIRL 🏎 ❤

love you to- wait.

what flight ?

babe ?

CHOI SAN.

WHAT FLIGHT.

ynusername

liked by kevinmagnussen, howtodraw.cs, and 2 334 343 others

ynusername still cannot believe it... p1 in China !? FUCK YEAH BABY.

View all comments

haasf1team L/N 🔛🔝

kevinmagnussen very well deserved yn, congrats ! 👏

↳ ynusername thank u sm kmag 🥺

user1 just to be clear...WE ALL FUCKING SAW SAN IN THE HAAS PADDOCK RIGHT !?

↳ user2 girl, the camera literally panned in on him and the screen said "San Choi, K-POP Idol & PARTNER OF L/N" 😃😃

↳ user3 so clearly san did NOT approve of the statement kq put out lol

user4 YNSAN IS MF REAL BITCHES 🤩🤩

user5 the proud smile san had on his face as he looked up at her on the podium, I AM CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP TONIGHT.

user6 he really went from "that one shirtless guy" to father.

ynusername

liked by lewishamilton, zhouguanyu24, and 2 434 990 others

ynusername some down time in seoul is where it's at

View all comments

user1 they fr said "fuck you kq" and as they should.

comments have been limited under this post

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (01)

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

a/n; AND THE FIC IS OUT 💃🏻✨

ngl, i posted up the teaser at around 1am just to see how it'd go (was planning on deleting it right afterwards if nothing showed up). i woke up like 6 or 7 hours later and holy shit yall - i wasn't expecting it to get so much attention or blow up 😭 and it was just a TEASER 😭✋🏻 i've also gone through the small notes section of the taglist form (my favorite is the one that said they like my brain lol) either ways, i'm so glad you're all as excited as i am for this fic 🥹🫶🏻 it really means a lot to me <33

i'd also like to point out that i'm writing this fic as i go, kind of going with the flow, so, occasionally some things might not make sense but let's hope the flow goes well 🙏🏻

taglist at the end !

click here to join the taglist ♡

“hey there, babygirl,” vernon greeted as he took a seat in front of you at the library desk.

the nickname had you looking up from your laptop, shooting the boy a grimacing look.

“vernon, what the fuck?”

vernon chwe, an art major you had met on the first day of college during orientation, since both of you were in the same freshman group during said orientation.

you were entirely new to seoul, having spent most of your life in a small town in daegu (alongside your introverted nature, talking to new people while having to adjust to your new surroundings was basically an introvert’s nightmare).

when vernon approached you during one of the 30 minute breaks, he handed you a bottle of coke, a friendly gesture you appreciated a lot. that wasn’t what caught your eye though - it was his clothes. it’s not every day you’d see a college student wearing a bright neon tie-dyed shirt.

when vernon noticed your staring, he simply said “ah, yeah, the rest of my clothes are in the dryer. i’m vernon, by the way! vernon chwe!”

“...i’m ___,” came your response, “lee ___.”

from then on, you’ve both been stuck to each other like glue. always seen together to the point you both had been mistaken as a couple one too many times.

guess the saying of 'you're not real besties unless people think you're a couple' is true to an extent.

though you both have made it clear that the relationship between the two of you is strictly platonic.

the boy laughs at your reaction before shutting up as a few students shoot him a dirty look, a few others shushing him. “it’s fun messing with you, ___,” he said in a soft voice, not wanting to get on the nerves of the other students, “watcha working on?”

“just the usual presentation preparations,” you answered as you pushed back up your glasses and continued typing away.

“is this a group or solo project?”

“solo, which thank god. if this was a group and i had another bad luck on my groupmates, i was going to lose it.”

vernon cringes at the mention of groupmates. in your previous group assignment, you were stuck with not one, not two; but three parasites. he remembered how sleep deprived and stressed you were throughout the semester for said group project. he’d gotten you to submit an email to the lecturer in charge, writing out in extreme detail how you had to bear the responsibilities of the group members while they were out and about, partying, going out on dates etc.

however, you decided to go even further than just submitting an email.

it was the day of the presentation. as your lecturer sat in the front row seat alongside two other faculty members, you looked at your parasitic freeloading groupmates that were standing to your left.

“are you guys ready?” you asked in a quiet voice.

when they nodded their heads, you smiled as you pressed the clicker in your hand. anyone would have assumed your smile was that of an encouraging smile. you however, knew better.

as the first slide was projected onto the projection screen, the topic of the presentation was written in a big font while all four names of yours and your groupmates were written underneath it.

as you pressed on the clicker, one by one, the names of your groupmates began to be removed from the slide. the classroom was confused before catching on - you were calling out your group mates for being parasites.

your groupmates watched in a panic state as the students began whispering amongst themselves; the faculty members jotting things down on their clipboards.

once all the three names were removed with your name being the only one left on the slide, in a calm and collected voice, you said, “now, shall we begin the presentation?”

vernon remembered the proud expression you had when he met up with you the same day. “how’d it feel?” he asked, having helped you with your research and planned out the execution for the revelation of the free loaders.

“amazing!” came your reply with a beaming smile, satisfied.

“whatever happened to those three anyways?”

shrugging, you heard from some classmates that they had either gotten suspended or needed to retake the class. but, you didn’t care.

why would you?

if anything, you were glad you didn't have to deal with them for the rest of your studying years.

"hmm, fair enough," vernon responded before placing both arms on the table, leaning forward, "so, got any friday night plans?"

"if you're planning to drag me to a frat party-"

"not a frat party."

looking up from your laptop with an eyebrow raised, the boy just shoots you a smile - a smile that you can't help but feel suspicious of.

as you saved your work progress and shut down your laptop, vernon spoke again.

"have you heard of underground boxing?"

"i am not going to get in a boxing ring."

"you don't have to!"

once you've packed up your stuff and headed out of the library together, he explained more about the underground boxing.

it's a monthly event and is usually held somewhere in itaewon. when you mentioned that you didn't think vernon was the type to take part in these events, he replied with, "that's because i don't. a close friend of mine does and i usually go to support him with two other close friends!"

"and where do i play a part in this… support group?"

"don't hate me for this, okay? i just think that you could use some outdoor time, ya'know? i know you're introverted and want to hole up in your apartment the entire weekend, but it wouldn't hurt to try something new!"

you were silent for a moment.

"so, i'm a bore, is what you're getting at."

"what!? no! absolutely, not!"

when you let out a laugh at vernon's reaction, it had a few students around both of you stunned.

maybe it's due to your introverted nature that everyone assumed you'd be cold-natured too, black cat energy they call it.

but to vernon, he knew it wasn't the case. you just needed to be around the right people or in a setting you're familiar/comfortable with to be yourself.

'naturally introverted, selectively extroverted' as they called it.

"i'll go if you pick me up."

"does seven sound good to you?"

"yeap."

"aight, bet."

introverted ass: ik i should've asked this earlier

introverted ass: but is there like a dress code or smtg?

introverted ass: bcs i don't wanna show up looking extremely out of place

vrrnonie: casual should be okay

vrrnonie: maybe bring a jacket along

introverted ass: but it's a boxing match

introverted ass: wouldn't it be hot and stuffy from all that sweat

introverted ass: ?

vrrnonie: it's actually air conditioned, believe it or not

vrrnonie: and it's well ventilated too

vrrnonie: and there's not much people, dont worry

vrrnonie: the place can hold up to 100+ ppl

vrrnonie: but they usually only let in abt 70-ish?

vrrnonie: not wanting to be too stuffy, crowd control etc

introverted ass: so i'm assuming i can just wear my sweater and tights?

vrrnonie: yeapp

vrrnonie: reaching in 10 btw

introverted ass: wtf

vrrnonie: you can do your makeup in the car when we reach

vrrnonie: it doesn't start til 10pm so we can grab some dinner

introverted ass: again, wtf

vrrnonie: love ya bestie 😘

introverted ass: 🙄✋🏻

true to his word, vernon did show up ten minutes later at your apartment front door.

parking his mercedes-benz in one of the few empty spots, he then brought you to a diner he deemed to have the best burger in all of itaewon (of course that was after he let you finish doing your makeup, as he had promised you).

"so… how long have your friends been doing this whole underground boxing thing?" you asked, stabbing a few fries on a fork before shoving them into your mouth.

"oh, just one of them actually," vernon replied with his mouth half full of his beef burger. "wonwoo hyung acts as the manager while mingyu hyung and i are there as first aiders. occasionally, we'd help him train too. but, mingyu is the one he trains with since he works out more than i do."

"does this boxer friend of yours have a name?"

"i can't really say his actual name out here. but, his stage name is scoups!"

why does that stage name sound so familiar… you ponder.

it's now 1230am and you've been out way longer than you should be (technically, more like longer than you wanted).

by right, shou should now be on your bed, cuddled up in your blanket as you binge whatever series or movies are available on the many streaming platforms offered.

yet, here you are - in an underground boxing ring somewhere in itaewon all because your best friend had decided you should spend more time outside.

the match was nearing its final round and based on what you've heard from the people sitting beside you (vernon had left to go to the locker rooms where his friends were; but had assured you everyone is respectable and won't try anything weird. it didn't reassure you completely to be left alone in the crowd, but any kind of reassurance is acceptable at this point), it seems that the two final boxers would be JK and scoups.

(you had also taken a lot of toilet breaks due to the overwhelming feeling of being in a crowd for an extended period of time)

you still ask yourself why the name 'scoups' sound so familiar…

it was only when the loud cheers snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you to shift your focus onto the ring that you finally realise why that name sounded so familiar.

because right in that boxing ring, stood an old face you've been longing to see for years.

choi seungcheol.

taglist (i can't tag a few for some reason ㅠㅠ);

@yoonclip @1004luvangel @catjunhui @mystikha @spk93 @tinkerbell460 @yoozuku @dnylwoo @christinewithluv @limbomoon @plutoxxxworld @i-give-up-1234 @m1ngyuc0re @yunloyal @leclercloverbot @bettybeako @billboard-singer @ocyeanicc @krupyadoorrahe @seobinnieshi @xcynthiaaa @k411z @disneyprincesshuri @sunnyapp @khxsh @staygenezy @loufi8iepuff @ursweetener @noisypapergalaxy @wonwootakemyheart @sugainpinksweater @leah-rose03 @thisisnotthelastofus @yearnoclock

[sleepymccoy]

Imma tell you all about Vulcan for a bit. I'm not gonna google anything, this is all memory

So back in the early 1800s or maybe mid 1800s, whatever, pre 1900s, they're looking at Neptune. Neptune has a funky little wobble in its orbit. One smart guy (whose name I don't remember) is like damn that wobble makes sense if there's another planet out there.

So they map out what this other planet's orbit would logically be and lo and behold there's Uranus (they had time to think of a name, I still can't believe they went w Uranus). Shortly after this - maybe this is when it's the mid 1800s. I don't know when Uranus is actually found - they spot Mercury!

Holy shit another planet!

And look at it wobble! Well, fuck me with a poker, says another man I don't remember, we've seen that before with Neptune and Uranus. There's another planet!

Lordy, just how many planets are out here?

So they map out Mercury's orbit and where this extra planet would need to be to have the impact it clearly does. They name it Vulcan. It goes into text books and solar system maps.

So yeah, in between Mercury and the sun is another planet called Vulcan for a few years. Literally, it's accepted fact.

Unfortunately Vulcan is on the other side of the sun for a while and they can't confirm. Then when they look there's no planet there but like,, Maybe they're off by a degree? They do some more maths and are like no yeah there should def be a planet there wtf?

Eventually they accept there's no planet and, with embarassment, remove Vulcan from school books. Then they sit down and think about it

Maybe Einstein is involved here, maybe they just use his principles? When was Einstein? I'm terrible w dates.

Anyway, turns out this is gravity causing time dilation.

The sun is a big fat gravity causer. There's just so much funky gravity coming out of her. And it's pretty patchy, esp with the solar flares and so on. So sometimes with gravity playing a complex game the straightest path from Mercury's pov is different to the straightest path from our pov. This makes sense on a visual level for me, and I don't know how to explain it further

If we were on Mercury it would look like we're going in a perfect orbit. But from Earth's pov it's a bit wobbly! Neptune is far away and didn't have the same impact from the sun, so that was all just Uranus. I think we do see a little bit of wobble in Venus too, and from Mars we'd look funky. But I think that's a very miniscule amount, with that space measuring equipment rather than just eyes and compasses

Anyway that's Vulcan, the real planet that doesn't exist. There's a great book on it, The Search for Vulcan. Probably also written by a guy whose name I've forgotten lol, but it's written well.

Okay I am gonna google, but just to try and find a picture to back me up

That's from the Smithsonian ^

I like the not-quite-real planet Vulcan

[beom9yus]

dare - choi soobin x reader

: soobin x genderless reader

: oral-soobin receiving, cum eating?tasting? pretty much it

: 2k words - just simply wanted to write about sucking him off LOL

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You stare at your friend who was laying down on the hospital room bed. He’s looking away with a cute bunny pout as you laugh in his face. “How did you-how did you manage to break both your wrists and parts of your fingers?” You start shaking as you bite your bottom lip, trying to hold back from laughing in his face. You feel your cheekbones plump up from smiling, not being strong or mature enough to have a serious face.

His hands that are in casts almost all the way up to his elbows, are currently on the side of his body, one hand being mostly free, casted from his lower palm downwards. Meanwhile the right was entirely sculpted in a cast. Sadly for Soobin, you couldn’t help but guffaw. It was too funny. He’s annoyed now, raising his upper body up to quietly yell at you. He furrows his brows as he tells you, “Stop. It’s not even that funny. Hyuka dared me to do a cartwheel and I made it to the part where my hands are on the ground, and my legs in the air… and I have no clue what happened next. I’m going to be double handless for who knows how long.” 

“You’re literally the last person anyone should dare when it comes to doing anything physical. Over six feet and you’re bad at anything that has to do with using your body.” He rolls his eyes and tries to cross his arms as he realizes he can’t, not properly at least. He just responds with, “yeah yeah whatever.” 

You think again about Soobin trying to do a cartwheel and you start to feel yourself cry from the amount of giggles and chortling, hands wrapped around your stomach. “Damn Binnie, how are you going to do anything now? You quite literally need both your hands for almost everything.” You wipe some of the tears that rolled down your face, “By the way, did the rest of the group come already? I haven’t checked my phone since I got your call…Wait, how did you even call me?” 

Looking unamused, he replies, “I had Hyuka dial you for me for your information. And yeah, they came already, you’re the last one to get here.” He looks like he’s thinking and he raises his head, looking ahead, and his eyes widen, “holy shit you’re right, how am I gonna do anything. How am I going to-“ he stops mid sentence as his ears redden. You quickly catch on. “Dude, you’re nasty.” 

“Shut up, you’re the one that’s thinking weird stuff. Also, I’m probably going to have to see if I’ll be excused for some assignments or something? I’ll have to figure it out.” 

“Well I’m not doing your assignments for you.”

You guys continue bickering like children until you’re both finally quiet. 

You hum as you finally calm down and sit next to him.

“Hey, when are they letting you go home?” 

“Tomorrow. They have to do extra checkups or something, I don’t know.” 

You nod as you finally ask him if he needs anything else and he tells you no, but it seems like he changed his mind. “Actually, can you change the channel for me? This is boring.” 

A day goes by, and both you and Soobin enter your shared space, finally getting home after they let him go. Obviously unable to drive, you had to bring him home. “Okay Soobin, welcome home again, don’t try to do any fancy aerobics for a while okay?” He just sighs, rolling his eyes, “ha ha. You’re so funny.” You shoot him a quick evil smile as you sit down on the couch. He decides to sit next to you as you put on some random movie. Most of the week is normal, Soobin able to do some low level things with one hand, and asking for your help with what he can’t. 

It was a quiet day when you entered the apartment. You put down the bags of groceries as you started heading towards Soobin’s room, asking if he wanted food. That’s when you hear him curse, “Shit, ow.” You thought he hurt his hand and needed something as you entered the room. 

“Hey Soobin, you need help with somethin-“

You widen your eyes in shock as you see him sitting on his gaming chair, sweatpants around his thighs, as his almost cast free hand is on his member. You struggle as you slowly step back, trying to look anywhere but at him. 

“Fuck I-I’m so sorry, I should’ve knocked. Let’s just forge-“

He doesn’t look that embarrassed, instead of hiding, he places his right arm over his face, voice shaking, “Y/n help me please. Please.”

You stop in your tracks as you try to process what he just said. “What?” 

He turns his face away and you can see how red his ears and side of his cheeks are. Left hand still on his dick, he starts answering you with a quiet and quivering voice, “it’s-it’s been more than a week since I’ve gotten off and I just…I just can’t. It hurts to try because of this stupid fucking cast, it’s too high up on my palm so it hurts me, a-and it’s my left hand so it’s harder. Please y/n, I wouldn’t want to ask you something this humiliating, I just need to get off. If..if you’re uncomfortable I understand too, I wouldn’t blame you if you walked away.” 

You kind of feel bad for the guy…

You deeply breathe in and out once, “Okay. I’ll help you. Only this once. I don’t want our friendship to get all weird, you’re important to me you know.” He lifts his head up as he looks at you, shaking his head quickly, “it won’t! It won’t, I promise! Please, just do something. Anything.” 

You go up to him as he watches you, his heart racing fast. It’s not like he hadn’t dreamt or thought of this once or twice. Maybe a thousand times. It’s not my fault, he thinks, he just thinks you’re the cutest person ever, no big deal. You get on your knees as you remove his hand from his dick. You wondered how you should help him, not realizing you were staring at it. He flushed at the way you were seemingly staring so intently, feeling his dick twitch. He was glad his hands were restrained, or else he would’ve lifted you up and kissed you by now. 

You hear Soobin whisper above you, “Y/n…”

“Oh. Sorry..um…” you quickly spit in your hand as you wrap your hand around him, unable to close the gap between your index finger and thumb. You see the way he gasps and slightly jumps from the feeling, liking the way your hand looks and feels on his dick. You stroke his dick shyly, unsure of what he even likes when it comes this kind of stuff. You guys were close, but never talked about anything this sexual before.

You look up at him nervously, and if Soobin was in some kind of cartoon, he’d probably be like those guys where you could see their hearts beat out of their chest. Your hands feel so soft on him, and he could tell the way you were apprehensive on what you wanted to do. Soobin trying to help, tells you, “harder, fuck, a little more, please.” 

You do as he tells you, seeing him moan quietly as he rolls his head back a little, bunny lips slightly opened. Your eyes divert back to his length in your hands, seeing how pretty it was. It felt hot and heavy against your palm. As you continued to look, a thought appeared: you wanted it in your mouth. Your body shifts at the thought, suddenly feeling hot as you swivel your thumb around his head, letting his precum smear against it, and you drag what you can down to his base. 

You look up to see Soobin with his head rolled back, breathing heavily, distracted from the way you were making him feel. You didn’t know, but Soobin was doing his best not to look at you too much or else he fears he might come too quick, wanting this to last. 

You take this as an opportunity, and you bite your lips as your face gets closer towards his dick. Opening your mouth, you finally take in his head. You taste him, sensing how he feels against your tongue. He gasps loudly as he involuntarily and softly places his hands, or in this case, casts, on your hair, taken by surprise. He accidentally bucks up his hips, making the cutest face you’ve seen. You look up at him with big eyes, tip of his dick in your mouth. 

Soobin swears he’s dreaming. He caresses your hair with his partly free hand as his breathing gets heavier, now panting at you slowly taking him into your soft, wet mouth more. His hair’s on his forehead, almost covering his eyes as he rolls them back, holding back from thrusting into the back of your mouth. He cries out at the feeling of you running your tongue on the underside of his dick, feeling his vein as your tongue moves against it. His abs flex due to his movements, his panting getting heavier and heavier by the second.

You like the heavy feeling of him on your tongue, and you start to focus on breathing through your nose more, taking almost all of him in your mouth. With your hands on his thighs, you start moving your head as you suck in your cheeks, wanting to see him break down. You suddenly hear and see him whimper, cute sounds flooding your ears, and it travels straight to your core. You see the way he closes his eyes, his eyebrows creasing close together, small scowl on his face from the pleasure, and the way he was building up a sweat just from getting sucked off. He looked good. 

You relax the best you can as you try to take him in deeper. You feel his head hit the back of your throat as you slightly choke, eyes watering and throat closing down. He looks down at you as he moans loudly, seeing your eyes wet and teary, making them shine while looking up at him, watching, seeing if you’re making him feel good. Your hand lets go of one of his thighs as you jerk off the rest of what you can’t fit in your mouth. 

You decide to try to deep throat him once more, taking him in all the way towards the back of your mouth, holding still once you feel his tip prod against the back of your soft tissue. Soobin moans and whimpers at the feeling of your throat constricting his dick, and tries his best not to lift his hips up, no matter how bad he wants to. “Ah shit, y/n…y/n feels too good, not-not gonna last like this.” 

You ignore him as you hear his sounds, whines spilling from his pretty pink lips as you continue to deep throat him. You moan at how needy you were starting to get, and Soobin almost cums, holding back like he has been this entire time because there’s no way he wants it to end any time soon. He looks down at you again, and sees how you’re drooling now, eyes, cheeks and nose red, your eyes big and watery, your lashes stuck together from the wetness. You go as deep as you can, choking around him as your nose almost touches his pelvis. 

This was the last straw for Soobin as he lets out a final moan and whine of your name as you remove yourself from him and feel his hot seed hit your face. You hear him continue to pathetically whimper as Soobin’s body is still tensing as he continues to come a lot, hot ropes of cum landing on your tongue as you stick it out, wanting to taste every part of him. 

Maybe his body wasn’t bad at everything, you’d have to find out. 

[pikahlua]

Fourteen Days of MHA: Day 3

Light Fades to Rain

Okay, let's gush. Here are my feelings about the anime adaptation of chapters 360-362: season 7 episode 11. This will quickly devolve from eloquent discussion to raging madness I promise.

The opening five minutes are the weakest part of the episode. This is the only section I will lodge any complaints about, and honestly they're not that serious.

The sadomasochism got toned down :P

I kind of expected it, and honestly I get why. Even though it was scaled back, the scene was effective enough for most viewers because there's just something about seeing it animated that makes it feel visceral anyways. The detail was always going to be reduced in the art when adapted to animation, and a lot of that art could've looked really bad without the necessary detail.

But it wouldn't be on brand for me if I didn't mention that it bummed me out lol.

The only other thing I can complain about isn't even an issue with the episode, it's an error in the subtitles.

"...you're just goldfish poop next to All For One."

a) It should be "One For All," not "All For One."

b) I don't think they should have kept it as "goldfish poop." Sorry to any language purists out there, but the idiomatic meaning of this phrase in Japanese will not get picked up by an English-speaking audience--and that idiom is important. It has an impact on how Katsuki behaves going forward. I think the subtitles should have changed that to something like "a minnow in One For All's wake" or "a tag-along weakling," ANYTHING to get the point across that Tomura is trying to inflict psychological damage by telling Katsuki he'll never amount to anything on the level of One For All. That message informs the rest of the episode!

Now, if that's the only complaint I have about this whole episode--a slightly too-fast-paced-under-detailed opening scene and a bad subtitle--then I'm a happy camper. And indeed that is the only complaint I have.

This episode is a masterpiece of adaptation.

The focus on the Big Three is so good because it does such a good job of masking where the episode is going but it's perfectly in-theme because of the parallels the three of them have with Izuku and Katsuki. IT JUST WORKS MAN. I LOVE IT.

The music that plays when Katsuki mutters is an excellent choice, though I wish they could have done something to hammer the point home more that he was indeed muttering and analyzing like Izuku does. Maybe the little "mutter" text would've been dissonant in tone lol but still I wish there was a way they could've done it. I do think the point does come across in the end still, but it's just more impactful when you get to see the little "mutter" text come full circle. Yeah yeah, manga vs anime and all that.

I didn't expect the tone they went with for Jeanist's reaction to Katsuki's muttering, but it was just different not like bad or anything. I kinda liked the whole "what the fuuuuck" vibe of it. I was thinking more like "Holy shit, I'm a proud dad" tone but this works XD

Jeanist is such a dad.

HE SPARKLE. KATSUKI, HE SPARKLE. IT SO PRETTY. AT LAST.

The animators were SOOOO trying to hide the twist this episode from the anime-only viewers, they didn't even put Katsuki on the commercial bumpers, they didn't want to SPOIL THE SURPRISE. IT'S SO GOOD.

Lost it at Tenko's freak out (damn voice actor wow) and Mirio's "g-gomen." I need the dub of this scene so bad.

JEANIST MY FIRST LOVE, DAD-ING SO HARD ALL OVER THIS EPISODE LOOK AT HIM GO.

Nejire is adorable as hell and everyone in MHA is so easily read as autistic it's remarkable actually.

They really put the typography behind the plasma cannon they actually did that.

UNF THAT PIANO. THE PIANO GOES OFF ALL OVER THE PLACE THIS EPISODE, DAMN.

Also good job on making the plasma cannon blast look small and precise to contrast Katsuki's attack last episode, because Katsuki definitely has more firepower but Tamaki has the finesse to concentrate the attack for a sustained period.

BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS

Everything from BOOTS on is perfection I know you all already know that.

Jeanist's voice acting is underappreciated, I really loved him this episode.

The little special sound effect for his clusters now!!! IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED. I CAN'T WAIT TO SUPERIMPOSE IT OVER KATAMARI DAMACY NEXT SEASON

Present Mic with the La Brava's-Love-quirk soft narration omg [chef's kiss]

OKAMOTO. OKAMOTO OH MY GOD. YOU GIVING ME FEELINGS WITH YOUR VOICE CRACKS I CAN'T SLEEP

The slo-mo shots are so pretty ;_;

THEY GAVE US MORE KUDOU TOO AND IT WAS SO GOOD, THE CONNECTION WAS DRAWN SO WELL BETWEEN HIM AND KATSUKI I AM LOVING IT SO MUCH. IT ALSO HELPS THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING AUDIENCE UNDERSTAND THIS IS DEFINITELY THE AFO-DOMINANT PERSONALITY NOT TOMURA.

Even if this series ends without explaining it, I'm going to come up with my own explanation for that vestige world shit. That cannot just be symbolic afterlife bullcrap. IT MEANS SOMETHING.

He's just a boy ;_; He's just a baby boyyyyyy

GIVE HIM HIS AUTOGRAPH BY THE END OF THIS SERIES SO HELP ME--

he spin thru the air like a meme

It's time for Horikoshi's favorite character: Bakucorpse!

You wanted the blue sky gone, but at what cost?

YES I'M LOVING THE VIBE FROM THE THUNDER SOUND

Oh...oh it hurts a lot to see in color, oh he's so pale...ohhhh no

THAT ENDING SONG? NOW? HOW DARE.

That horrifying feeling of emptiness at the end :)

The joy of watching others cry over this 👀

Katsuki is the actual symbol of hope I don't care what anyone says. All hope of victory is lost with his death and the only chance of winning comes from reviving him with the literal power of hopes and prayers and wishes. He is Hope Incarnate. A very Sassy (Soft Precious) Hope Incarnate.

[thewayitalknj]

Friday, I'm In Love?

Eddie Munson x Female Reader.

When random corny love notes start appearing in your locker, you're wondering who the hell Is taking time out of their day to think of you.

Quick Notes - Happy Valentine's Day! I got this idea while playing our Valentine's Day Playlist at work and thought I would write something. Super short but to the point, lol. Hope you enjoy!

Word Count - 849 (Told you it was short) Warnings - None! Enjoy :)

Monday That's when the first note fell out of your locker. When the small piece of paper fell onto the floor you were confused. You had all your notes, what could this possibly be? You opened it up and read the message ; Let's commit the perfect crime. You steal my heart and I'll steal yours.

"The actual fuck?" You laugh.

"Whacha got there?" Eddie snatches the note from your hand and reads it in the most dramatic voice you have ever heard, clearly used for DM'ing only. You close your locker and lean against it. "You have a secret admirer? That's adorable." You take the note back and stuff it in your bag.

"Beats me. Probably someone playing a stupid prank."

"Or someone's in love with you."

"I highly doubt that."

Tuesday ; They say true love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles.

"So, who do you think it's from?" Jonathan asks as you walk the track field for gym.

"No idea. I just find it odd. Why now? For fucking Valentine's Day?"

"Maybe they think it's the right time since it's a holiday about love."

"I still think it's a silly prank."

"Or someone is in love with you." He smiles.

"Well, I highly doubt it."

Wednesday ; Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.

"I like this one, it has to do with food." Robin snarks, holding all 3 notes in her hand.

"That's such a you comment to say."

"What are you guys talking about?" Nancy takes a seat next to you at the lunch table.

"Someone has been leaving me stupid notes with pick up lines in my locker everyday this week."

"And you don't know who it is yet?"

"Nope."

"You haven't recognized the hand writing?"

"See, this is why you're the smart one." Robin states.

"I never even thought of that, let me take a look." You examine the writing on the notes. "Yeah I got nothing. Who knows, it could be very obvious and I don't even see it."

"Or, someone is in love with you."

"Again, I highly doubt it."

Thursday You fling your locker open and there fell a note. ; If I were a cat, I would spend all nine of my lives with you.

"Okay, that's it. I'm done with these. Thank god tomorrow is Friday."

"You haven't figured it out yet?" Eddie asks.

"Nope, I haven't. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No, of course not. But speaking of stupid," He pulls out his math binder. "Here are the math notes you needed."

"Thanks, I'll get them back to you tomorrow. I can't believe you actually paid attention."

"Well if I want to graduate I gotta do some work, ya know?"

Later that night you're doing homework in your bedroom and started organizing your math notes. Using Eddie's notes from earlier you flip over the page to continue note taking when you notice some scribbles at the bottom, definitely not pertaining to math. Let's commit the perfect crime. You steal my heart and I'll steal yours. ; They say true love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles. ; If you were a fruit you would be a fine apple ; Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. you're a 9 out of 10 and i'm the 1 you need ; well i'm here so what are your other two wishes? if you were a cat, I would spend all nine of my lives with you ; if you let me borrow a kiss I promise I'll give it right back to you.

A lightbulb goes off and you immediately reach for the love notes in the front pouch of your backpack.

"Holy shit." You whisper.

Friday The morning bell rings as you slip a note into Eddie's locker. ; Roses are red, Violets are blue. I found out who you are, and you must admit it to me too. Meet me at the picnic table after school.

The afternoon bell rings as you take off towards the woods to meet Eddie.

You sat on the table impatiently waiting, bouncing your leg up and down until a familiar face appears before you.

"What's this?" He asks waving the note in his hand.

"It's you."

"What do you mean it's me?"

You wave the four notes in front of him this time. "Didn't get one this morning. I beat you too it."

"That's not me."

"Stop lying Eddie."

"But it's not. Can you prove it?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Your math notes." He looks at you confused, taking out his backpack and finding his notes. As you watch him flick through his eyes get wide.

"Holy shit." He whispers.

"Yeah I said the same thing."

"Look I'm sorry-"

"Why are you sorry? And why didn't you just say anything in the first place?"

"Because it wasn't suppose to end like this, and I didn't know how you would react. So I thought this would be a good way to ask you out. Maybe. Possibly."

You nod your head and look down to the ground.

"So?" He ponders.

"So what?" You look back up.

"Can I take you out on a date?"

You smile.

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT is back!!! Here’s my live reaction to everything that happened this week! Obviously take everything I say with massive piles of salt, these are in the moment reactions and aren’t supposed to be fully coherent thoughts.

DRDT CH2 EP12 SPOILERS (Oh that feels good to write)

We’re back!!! Teruko we fucked up!!!

The theory that Charles was going to bring up the possibility of a wrong time of death was true! There weren’t really any other theories about what he was going to say from what I saw, but it’s still cool we got that right. You have no idea how giddy I am to finally hear him talk about it, after waiting so long for him to finish the sentence lol.

Also Teruko’s face lmao.

Oh, poor Teruko, she looks so sad. She’s gonna bring up the marks on the wrist, right?

Or, yeah, the swinging.

(Does this screw up any theories? No, her body was still likely strung up at 7:30 AM, which is what most people thought I’m pretty sure)

Ah, Whit. I missed how shady he always is even when he has, like, an airtight alibi for the time the fish were taken (which is still around 7:30 PM to nightime btw, don’t forget Nico’s account).

They’re not gonna bring up the time the fish were taken, are they? That furthers my belief that the person who took the fish and the murderer are different. Nothing concrete obviously, just kinda narratively works better that way.

“Or did you do it on purpose?” Veronika how I’ve missed you :D

David’s face lmao xD

“I’ll fix that mistake” (Paraphrased) Hell yeah! Go Teruko! :D

I missed you too, Literature Boy Insane. That “pathetic” voice line was cool. Also, thank you Hu.

J: “The body would have been cold if it was drenched at some point.” (Paraphrased). Interesting point about the water, I wonder if it’s important or not. We know she wasn’t drowned because the relax room wasn’t open at 7:30 AM, right? So I don’t know how she could have gotten drenched.

Ace no genuinely how do you not know how water works what.

“The range of human stupidity is larger than I thought.” Charles, you’re great.

[Levi and Nico complain about Arturo’s medicine skills] Okay, but like, Arturo has repeatedly told you he’s not that kind of doctor. Like you can blame the guy for a lot of shit but this one ain’t it chief.

(Also don’t think I don’t see how Levi throws suspicion on Arturo. Small point towards Levi!Culprit and Levi!Accomplice)

“You shut your whore mouth!” Okay maybe I don’t need to defend Arturo actually, he seems like he has it handled. You good my guy?

Oh shit we actually brought up that Arturo is ridiculously young for someone in the medical field. I did not have that in my (hypothetical) bingo card.

Twelve?! Dude my guy wanted out of that house yesterday damn.

Dude he’s kinda going off! I was not expecting Arturo fans of all people to eat this good this episode, but this is interesting!

Oh right the crazy lady- “Adorable”? Verturo shippers eating!

“Feel free to add to the number of dents in the computer lab” (Paraphrased) PFFFT Charles!

Wait wasn’t there actually a dent there? Wasn’t that a thing I saw on people’s theories? Holy shit is that actually going to get addressed?

[Whit explains] AHAHAHAHAHA HOLY-!

“I let it slide because it was funny” I missed MonoTV too actually.

And no fish! Nico’s account of the fish still being there last time they checked goes unmentioned, meaning it’s likely going to be used for a twist later!

New alibis? Could be possible.

Whit: “I don’t have an alibi. Neither does Charles” (Paraphrased) Which you know because…?

Oh so that’s not addressed. I repeat the statement of Whit being unnecessarily shady all the time.

????? DAVID AND J ALIBI???? This could be kinda huge actually.

David: “Oh. Shit.” This is the reaction of a man being cleared of murder. That’s so funny.

Didn’t David usually wake up late? Inconsistent sleep schedule ig.

J: “Oh yeah, and Veronika.” Girl you gotta say this shit earlier.

Yeah, look, J, you went and made Veronika sad! >:( /j

David: “Whoops” Holy shit every line this man says is gold actually what?

David? Lying? Noooo, how could you say that? I forgot how funny post magical girl transformation this man was.

David I am going to need you to give an actual answer. I spent hours looking at That Video and I still don’t know what your deal is please-

“And she’s Teruko” J’s also really funny actually. Hold a knife to someone’s throat once and they hate you forever, smh.

“Oh and don’t say something like “I wanna kill myself” that’s boring” (paraphrased). Holy shit I missed Veronika- that’s my second fave right there! (Min you will always be N1 don’t worry).

David-Veronika duo is great actually.

By the way David said “the truth is…” I am not expecting a serious answer.

You know, for a moment I actually did think he genuinely thought he was the blackened. But my first instinct was right.

“I would have actually tried looking at the crime scene” Bro what the fuck is he actually cooking.

“A good person” drop!!!! If you know, you know!

Also, I wanted to point this out here, I might have accidentally misinformed a part of the fandom a bit? One point that I brought up was that several important people to this chapter have been called “a good person”, and one of the examples I gave was Hu calling David a good person. Which… I don’t think happened? I evidently misremembered a line where Hu called David a “good friend”, which is a different phrase with different connotations in DRDT, and I genuinely apologize for that. Especially because I have seen people repeating that David had been called a good person in the past.

But now David has called himself “a good person”, if in a roundabout way, so the point actually stands lol.

Oh shit the Xander name drop.

… He was trying to kill Teruko wasn’t he. Because Xander tried it, and because David has Teruko’s “the killing game is all your fault” motive. Oh shit.

Speaking of the “good person” point, that argument might actually be dead lmao. Given that Xander got called that and he’s, well. Not particularly important to chapter 2, let’s say.

[Hindsight Post-Video: Actually, the argument could now be “anyone referred to as a good person is deeply important up to chapter 2”. Or, alternatively, argue that Xander is somewhat important to the Chapter 2 trial because he inadvertently caused David to magical girl transform. The “good person” list in case you don’t recall is Teruko, Levi, Eden, Arei, and as of this episode, David and Xander. We’ll see what we make of it once the chapter ends ig]

Oh Teruko is pissed I am loving this.

Holy shit the voice acting is amazing holy shit Teruko is going off she said Xander didn’t treat David like a human (“No Longer Human” reference??? I might just be insane though) oh this is incredible!!!

Oh he knows something deep. This motherfucker knows what was written in Xander’s “kill Teruko” note I bet.

WAIT HE KNEW XANDER BEFORE HOPE’S PEAK?! HE KNOWS WHY HE’S THE ULTIMATE REBEL?!

Motherfucker you are going to tell us what Xander did before Hope’s Peak and why you know his work or I swear to God-!

Okay actually, David, I am going to need you to give… a straight answer at some point? Like I get you’re canonically bisexual (and it’s showing) but a single straight answer isn’t going to kill you.

Also, the music?! Is peak?!

David: “If the answer is no…” Neat sprite! Just thought it looked nice, and the line’s cool too :>

The return of the Teruko Baffled Sprite, long awaited.

Secret reveal? The killing game’s her fault?

Okay not the angle I was expecting in the slightest. Obviously gonna have to analyze how truthful he’s being at the moment, but he’s basically pulling a DRV3 ending logic thing. Cool!

So… Xander is absolutely Opening Guy, right? Like, I know that was the most common theory, but c’mon.

YEAH HU GO OFF!!!!

Voice acting going crazy too!

I adored Hu’s screaming section. How long till it’s revealed she has the “hopeless child” secret?

Hu’s a queen, hell yeah.

Pffft J’s high horse voice line-

Thank you Charles for being the only competent one (affectionate). Btw what does Veronika think of David’s reasoning? I was kinda hoping we’d see that.

[Red herring joke] Whit. Whit /disappointed/silly

Oh shit I was not expecting that line to actually cause a reaction damn.

You know, I’ll be honest and admit Eden’s really not acting that much like a culprit. I still think she is, I’m just surprised I’m not able to confirmation bias my way into suspecting her through her voice lines :v

Aaaand we’re back to Ace v Nico! Woo!

Okay wow the new alibis are like, laser focused on going against the most popular theories, huh? I’m not going to say anything’s deconfirmed yet obviously, but Hu!Culprit, J!Culprit, even Veronika!Culprit and theories surrounding David being involved have some questions to answer damn.

[To the question of if anyone else had alibis] “Nope” Whit how do you know this.

Levi!Accomplice also takes a hit because Eden and Levi aren’t trying to alibi for each other, but it can be explained. If they never prepared to give each other alibis, it’s safer to just… not, since they can’t actually say what they were doing during that time. And yes, possible explanations like this is why I’m not calling anything outright deconfirmed yet.

I wrote that before Levi three dotted directly after Eden, looking like he was thinking of trying to give her an alibi. Now that’s confirmation bias that can’t be safely used for theories!

Oh right J still hates Arturo xD

[The whole thing about excluding suspects who had an alibi at night and not in the morning] Oh God, Levi really wants me to think he’s the culprit huh? The method’s still too crazy for me to really believe that, but still.

This is also bad for Levi!Accomplice. Not a dealbreaker, but still weird that he’d say something that could point in Eden’s direction. I am not even going to try to defend that yet.

Cool. Can we finally talk murder method?

Levi: “That’s my secret.”

Oh okay, we’re not talking method yet.

…

Wait, WHAT?!?!?!!?!!!?!

THAT’S-! That’s not-! What the hell?!

Okay, so. Cool, Levi’s the remorseless murderer, we got that one right. But, the reveal is so insanely out of left field holy shit…

I am not lying when I tell you I had to get up and start PACING like I was not ready for this. I am vibrating. He just- He just said that shit! What the hell?!

I have genuinely no idea how the hell this is gonna play out. Holy shit I cannot wait for the next episode. It’s just… so peak!!! We are so back!!!

—-

General Closing Thoughts: This episode was awesome! I was lowkey a little worried that the first episode back wasn’t going to be as insane as it ended up being, but wow it blew me away. And it was only twenty minutes? When the episodes go up to possibly an hour??? It’s just… holy shit.

It was awesome to finally start getting some insight into why David Did That, and I’m genuinely super excited to see where this goes. I’m still trying to figure out the exact angle on things like hiding Teruko’s secret, if he even is doing that because I now believe there is a non-zero chance he isn’t actually lying. Like, it’s low, but not zero. I do find it strange Veronika didn’t react to it, though, but at least we got that one line before David started talking.

But that’s only the cusp of the iceberg. I genuinely adore the details we got on Arturo’s backstory, and Hu’s blowup, and Teruko’s remorse- it’s all so awesome.

(The fucking dent in the wall of the goddamn computer room got an explanation I still cannot believe that. Wow)

Props to the voice acting and the music btw, absolutely incredible all throughout.

Btw, correct me if I’m wrong, but there weren’t any “minigames” this episode, right? Nothing wrong with that, just found it interesting.

Theory-Related Initial Thoughts: This episode is… possibly one of the biggest theory slaughters I’ve ever seen?

Like, obviously, again, it’s still too early in the trial to fully rule out anything, so I’m going to leave it to the other DRDT scholars to revise their own theories to fit the new evidence, but wow those new alibis are something. Between Hu, J and David having alibis for 7:30 AM, that’s three of the top suspects who weren’t there at that exact time to either kill Arei or mess with the body. Again, maybe there’s explanations for it, I’m not calling anything unconfirmed yet, just that many theories were inconvenienced.

As for my theory, Eden!Culprit Levi!Accomplice… ups and downs. The more Eden speaks, the less I’m convinced she’s the actual culprit, even if I’m a decent 80% sure she took the tape; the more Levi speaks, the less I’m convinced he’s an accomplice. I’m not going to deny that their dialogue isn’t 100% what I would expect. I don’t think it’s disqualifying, I still believe it to be the theory with the best evidence, it’s just that some things strike me as odd.

That was what I thought… until the end. Because I have no idea what’s about to happen with Levi revealing the secret like this, but… there is a very possible Levi!Accomplice turn here? Like, it’s the “Levi’s holding the glove” idea; the moment Eden loses her alibi, Levi does something that immediately puts a target on his back, potentially trying to get himself voted off before people catch on to Eden as a possible culprit. First he tries to argue that he shouldn’t be a suspect because of the alibi thing, which could make him more suspicious in some people’s eyes (maybe that’s too much 4D chess but it could work), then revealing the secret. I don’t know how likely this is, but it’s a genuine possibility.

Otherwise, I’m… not entirely sure what the angle is? I need to rewatch the trial to figure out why Levi’s talking about “detailing the trial” then immediately revealing his secret. I didn’t rewatch any DRDT before the episode, hence the confusion. But… at this moment, I don’t know what Levi’s cooking, other than possibly accomplice behavior. And even that feels more confirmation bias-y than anything.

There’s also the really weird line where Whit just… knows, Charles had no alibi at 7:30 AM? Unless they discussed it or I’m forgetting something, I don’t actually remember how he’d know that? Was he stalking Charles? Was he just wandering the halls? What kinda-?

(I don’t think that’s likely, but I don’t have a really good read on what’s happening there)

Other than that, here’s a crackpot one to lighten the mood. Mastermind business. I’ve never brought this up before, but I’ve always believed that were Veronika to be the mastermind, she would get revealed early. As in, possibly at the end of this trial, given Teruko had some idea to end the killing game after her chat with Veronika in the movie room.

I’m bringing this up only because Veronika didn’t react to David’s explanation of what he was trying to do by claiming to be the blackened. She was set up for a reaction with the whole “please tell me it’s not boring” thing, and then she… didn’t. It’s possible, in a conspiratorial sense, that she didn’t react because David hit the nail in the head, and Veronika was genuinely upset at the idea. If that’s the case, her reaction could be postponed to the end of the trial, maybe the end of Trial 3, for the early mm reveal there. It’s a very half-baked idea I’m failing to communicate properly ‘cuz I’m eepy, but it’s there.

I rank it in the same level of mastermind evidence as “Nico is unafraid of grabbing MonoTV by the tail.” Immensely silly and should not be considered solid evidence by any means, and yet it’s still probably gonna get mentioned if I ever make a mm probability ranking lol.

Anyways, absolutely incredible episode all throughout. Holy shit were so back, this was amazing. See you next week for more peeks into peak!

[katamaricule]

What is dmbj? I've googled it but idk if it's one of those 'I love it and recommend it' shows or a 'I love it - pls never watch it <3' kinda show yk lol

Is there an answer somewhere in the middle? Because that's where it should go.

DMBJ is a franchise based on a set of novels by an author we'll call NPSS. These are mostly first-person tales narrated by a spoiled little dipshit named Wu Xie, as he and his friends go on tomb-raiding adventures, encounter supernatural obstacles, and learn about all the ways snakes don't work. The series has several giant holes in it, as NPSS tends to get bored and wander off mid-story. Several dramas and movies have tried to adapt various pieces of this gap-ridden, wholly unresolved saga, to varying degrees of success.

So to answer your question: There are installments of DMBJ that are a hoot that you should watch, and then there are installments of DMBJ that are also a hoot but you shouldn't watch before you have an affection for the franchise as a whole, and then there are installments of DMBJ that you should not watch even if you are a fan of the franchise because they are just not worth your time.

The problem is, not everybody agrees on what goes in which category. But if you're interested and want to give it a go, these are my personal takes on what's what, in chronological order of events as they happen in the series:

The Mystic Nine

Good starting place: Yeah, actually!

Requires prior knowledge: Nope

Actual ending: No resolution whatsoever

Wu Xie: He's not in this one

Best part: Charming characters you love or love to hate

Warning: Very cheaply produced, with cuts that render significant parts of the story incoherent

Worth watching: Yes, if you're willing to accept the jankiness

The Lost Tomb

Good starting place: Weirdly, no, considering that it's the first series they made

Requires prior knowledge: Not really

Actual ending: Oh, heavens no

Wu Xie: Cardboard twerp, kinda cute

Best part: There's ... some antics, I guess?

Warning: Makes some bizarre additions, condenses several books, just ... isn't very good

Worth watching: Not especially

The Lost Tomb 2

Good starting place: You could do worse

Requires prior knowledge: Some, but who knows if it helps?

Actual ending: Ha ha ha you're funny

Wu Xie: Breathtaking idiot twink street-parking a Maserati

Best part: Wu Xie and Pangzi are in love

Warning: Interminable bronze tree plotline, incomprehensible timeline especially at the ending

Worth watching: Sure, but bring a book for the long stretches

The Lost Tomb 2: Explore With the Note

Good starting place: It doesn't matter, because you're not going to watch this one

Requires prior knowledge: It can't save you

Actual ending: Nothing of the sort

Wu Xie: Shove that whiny nerd in a locker

Best part: There is no best part

Warning: Don't do this to yourself

Worth watching: What do you think

Ultimate Note

Good starting place: It seems like no at first, but it actually is!

Requires prior knowledge: It helps, but you can get by without it

Actual ending: Complete cliffhanger

Wu Xie: Precious muffin

Best part: Everyone is so cute, also heihua

Warning: Tonally way goofier than the other series

Worth watching: Yes! This one's so fun

Tomb of the Sea/Sand Sea

Good starting place: If you like things on Hard Mode

Requires prior knowledge: The main character doesn't have any, so why should you?

Actual ending: It thinks it does, but it's stupid and slapdash and leaves a million loose ends

Wu Xie: Mafia widow (also he's not the main character)

Best part: Seeing from the outside how fucked-up the whole Tomb Raiding Industrial Complex is

Warning: A hot mess, but occasionally a beautiful one

Worth watching: Yes, but maybe save it for later

Reunion: The Sound of the Providence

Good starting place: Shockingly, yes

Requires prior knowledge: No, though it recontextualizes everything once you know more

Actual ending: Yes! Holy shit! We got an ending here!

Wu Xie: Consumptive angel with a gun

Best part: Some truly impressive performances from Actual Actors, Wu Xie and Pangzi are married

Warning: Honestly, just watch this one first so you don't know what you're missing, because once you do, you can't unsee it

Worth watching: Definitely

I hope that ... helps? Or at least doesn't make your confusion worse?

[joaofelix70]

69 WITH JOÃO FÉLIX | a concept.

author's note: first of all, thank you for reading this and my first story that was boycotted by his ex's fans, lmao (i know joão's flopping here, actually) 💀

many people are not writing for him anymore and that's why i'm doing justice to him, so you're welcome, lol. please, tell me what you think about this work, polite feedbacks are VERY appreciated. i get inspired in the morning and wrote it kinda quickly. really random, but i need to say how obsessed i am with joão being religious, like this gif shows. the way he's crossing himself, kissing his hand and pointing to the sky 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

I'M CRYING, SOBBING ON MY KNEES AND BEGGING HIM TO HAVE A RELIGIOUS FAMILY WITH ME. also, my requests are open. i'm waiting for you to talk to me there <3

warnings: self-explanatory sex position. +18 content. smut, nsfw without context. plus, he's also fingering you here (our dream 😭).

words: 461.

"holy shit, what a good pussy. i missed it, princesa (princess). i missed you!" his fingerprints wrap in your midst of the hot, overflowing fountain: causing an insatiable thirst, to which no other substance would be able to succumb.

"i always need you so badly, gatinho (handsome). i fucking belong to you!" your whimpers exude despair in the name of pleasure, making joão laugh and his ego to inflate.

"of course you do! all this shit, all this is only mine. fuck, i'm such a lucky guy." your walls tighten and compress his beautiful bones, sending sinful sensations to his area of hardness and dampness. then, you're empty. his tongue curls around his fingers, appetizing you.

"so fucking delicious!" wet kisses are deposited on your neck and boobs: delighting his face on each, vehemently sucking and biting them.

"use my body to show it, joão. i'm yours!" your hands involve around the structure of his cock, lips swallowing the resplendent pre-cum from the head and witnessing it run down your chin. stroking and tasting the testicles, you lift your mouth and enter every inch of it into your throat, scratching his toned tights. your hair is pulled by félix and your head guided to have him deeper, completely.

"yeah! just like that! be the good and grateful girl that you are. i'm so proud of you, princesa." joão's destabilized, moaning in portuguese, echoing your name with his beautiful accent, while eyes are closed. however, he doesn't stop. his saliva spread throughout the shape of your torso, hickeys pigmenting the place below where you're most begging to be touched. his mouth explores your intimacy, painting formats and drawings, like you're his work of art: his nose rubbing your clit and offering continual instigations, the tip of his tongue persistently granting the beg leave in the entrance. so he persists, controlling your greedy movements against his face: firm pressure on your waist.

"let me know when you're close, ok? wanna take care of you!" félix grabs your ass, flattening and reddening your skin. tears are shed over your flushed face, your voice weakened after so many verbal liberations. you hold his dilating dick and slap it on your cheek, teasing it through licks and your light, sensitive touch.

"tell me how much you love me, gatinho. i deserve this for being your good girl who is about to cum on your face." you testify his acts getting intensified: ecstasy, along with sexual spasms, protruding from joão. his head goes back and, at this point, he's worshiping you. you're his religion.

"i fucking love you, y/n. gonna cum in your precious mouth and throat!"

"that's my man who i fucking love! please, come for me and i'll do the same for you!"

[willowser]

ma’am i only found your blog yesterday but your ex hubby bakugo got me in a trance, and i hsjsksksksksk, but ill present you: ‘drunk ex husband bakugo’ i- i mean he would be so silly and calls you at 1am to tell you how much he loves you and the little one and how much he misses you, babbles away all the nonsense else, but the way he murmurs and mumbles silly things on the phone got you giggle at midnight (and sad at the time because holy hell you miss him too), then you have to talk him out of it to go home and sleep, he listens, he goes home, yeah, and 10 minutes later he shows up at your front door (still hella woozy) because he is just that stupidly drunk and he has always wanted to go home to you :((

ANON ??? OUCH ????? THIS MAKES ME SAD AKFJSODHAIA

i've always wanted to do drunk ex-whathaveyou bakugou that shows up at your door too late 🥺 but in this instance !! i feel like. you get a few calls in the middle of the night, but they're very short ?? like you wake up to your phone ringing and it's his number, so you're reaching for it, but it stops before you can answer. and you're thinking, "darn i must have slept through the first few rings," and as you're typing out a text to check in with him, he calls again for like two rings, and then it stops. and then he calls and it rings for one and then it stops.

and so now you're like — okay maybe he's butt-dialing me LOL but he tries again like 20 minutes later and you're so tired of the ring-tone that you answer it as fast as you can and just listen, waiting to see if you can hear his voice distantly, as if you're down in his back-pocket.

but he grumbles, "—the fuck? hello?"

and you ask him, "uh hey, have you been trying to call me?" but you're almost certain he doesn't hear you, because half-way through you are able to hear the loud background music and then the sound of shuffling, his grumpy lil "—the fuck off me, 'm—shut th'hell up—'m on the DAMN PHONE!"

clearly, there's a struggle, so you just kind of wait, worried you're about to hear your ex-husband get nerfed while on patrol maybe ?? but then the music drops away and is replaced by a barely-there scratchy wind, and he's breathless when he asks if you're still there.

"yeah, no, i'm still here. is...everything okay?"

he huffs, so heavy into the phone that the static almost hurts your ears. "whadda'you think?"

it's bitter enough that you blink in the darkness of your room, before glaring at the opposite wall. "excuse me?"

"fuck, 'm sorry, i—fuck." he inhales audibly, stuttering. "i'm sorry."

you frown, head turning; he sounds lazy, like he can't be assed to speak properly, and he's speaks impolitely on the regular — but it's never this bad. all his words sound curved, looped together, and he's shuffling too much on the other end, sniffing loud and mumbling to himself. almost like he's—

"are you...drunk?"

you're expecting an immediate no, even if evidence is proving otherwise, because he's not a drinker. occasionally, when he's out for dinner or at one of kirishima's backyard barbecues, but it's so infrequent that his tolerance is low, for someone of his size. it doesn't take much to have him a little sloshed, and he hates it, not only for the feeling the day after, but because his mouth tends to run. more than usual.

"it's that fuckin'—dunce head ass 'n his—stupid piano teeth, tape-face—"

kaminari and sero, you think. you think.

"'n i didn't want to fuckin' come to shit like this, ever. because they're so 'blah fuckin' blah, get over yourself', as if i'm—whatever. dumbasses." he pauses, and before you can finish piecing together what he's trying to say, he continues. "'n i'm not even like them, because they're fucking losers, and i don't—i don't even want that chick's number, okay? i don't fuckin' care, okay?"

your heart throbs dangerously, suddenly swollen and too tender, at the very thought of him and someone else, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut tight. "bakugou—"

"bakugou?" he cuts you off loudly, offended. "'r'you fuckin'—sorry, shit. bakugou? you're a goddamn bakugou—"

you have the throw the blankets off your lap so that you can hurry to your bedroom door, to shut it before hissing at him. "i'm not gonna sit here and get cussed out, katsuki. we're divorced."

"sorry! fuck, i'm—i mean—sorry, sorry. 'm not—it ain't at you, y'know? you know that, right?"

and you do. you do know that. it's just how he talks, he would tell you, and he would cut down on it for a little while before it inevitably came back and — it just hurts, at times. to be on the receiving end of his hottest flame.

"yeah," you tell him quietly, leaning against the door when he sighs. "yeah, i know."

"she—" he groans, deep and frustrated. "she fuckin'—god, sorry. she did that t'me all th'time, y'know? 'cut the fuckin' attitude, katsuki,' 'n then fuckin' SMACK!" you can hear the sharp sound of his slap, metallic, like he's against a lamp post or something. "but then she's comin' up t'my room, all like, 'y'know i love you' 'n—how 'm i suppos' t'know that stuff?"

he's never really spoken about his childhood; his parents, yes, through comments here and there about how they irritated him, but nothing serious. you've seen firsthand how tumultuous his relationship with his mother is, and she still smacks him around, but he's big now, much bigger than she is; you never considered what it was like for him, when he was younger.

even if he is drunk, even if he won't remember tomorrow — you still want to be there for him.

you realize he's waiting for an answer, with how long he's quiet, and you shrug to yourself before gently saying, "i don't know, katsuki. it sounds like it would have been very confusing."

"yeah, i mean—" he exhales slowly, though the end trails off into a growl, as if he's grown frustrated again. "i would never fuckin' hit you."

"i know that, katsuki, and i've never thought you would. and i would never hit you, either, y'know?"

"yeah," he repeats, and you can hear him swallowing, the sound so thick that you think he might choke. "i'd never hit you, or—or—hey, where is he? i wanna talk to 'im."

at the mention of your son, you peek down the hall to make sure his door isn't open, that he's not snooping around like you've caught him doing lately — but it's still mostly closed, and you don't hear any little feet against the hardwood.

you squint at your phone, blinded momentarily at the blue-light as you check the time. "it's the middle of the night, katsuki, he's asleep."

"did he have a good day?"

"yeah, he—"

"tell me about it. tell me th-the whole thing."

and — you do, as he listens and grunts and murmurs little things you don't catch. occasionally, he'll groan, really quiet like he's trying not to cry, and it's after the third time he asks to speak to him again that you finally decide to call him an uber.

and you put in his home address !!! but not thirty minutes later, you are sort of roused out of sleep because he's lightly knocking on your door, in the middle of the night, and you have to get up and go check so he doesn't wake your son up !!!!

and he's probably a MESS, all red-faced and SAD, rubbing at his eyes, almost tripping into your house because he was leaning against the door. it's not even worth arguing about getting him to his actual home because it's late and he's being a little loud, so you just give him some water and make him lay down on the couch and — he's out like a light right away LOL

but. you wake up a few hours later to him laying in your bed, on top of the blankets, his pants are on the floor but his shirt and jacket are still on LOL and he's not quite touching you, but if you jostle even a little bit, his face will press into your back 🥺 you don't know when he got up and came into your room, but he was sober enough to be quiet about it, and when you wake up in the morning, he's already re-dressed and sitting with your son at the kitchen table 🥺

WAAAAHHH i made this so sad. i'm so sorry akjfajfajaljfa he's such a BABY !!! god help me, bc if it really was me, i would take him back in a heartbeat LOL

[itsmarsss]

Scandalous [Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas] (Helluva Boss) pt. 9 - If I Had a Nickel

pt 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8

Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn’t exactly considered classy, Stolas.

If Blitzø had a nickel for every ex of one his friends’ he’d fucked he’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

Word count: 6,117

Warnings: since it’s something concubi need to survive, having sex with humans for that need is not considered cheating between them in of itself. doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel shitty. you’ll get this when you get to it. this takes place during spring broken but I’ve already said do not take the shows timeline as entirely the same as my own lol. Spring broken will have happened after Exes and Ohhs but Exes and Ohhs will have happened before Ozzie’s in this fic. Kind of sexual/physical assault of Moxxie (same that happens in the episode, nothing graphic or anything), pretty tense chapter, Verosika is very much a bitch here but don’t worry abt it.

If you were to say so yourself, things have been pretty okay the past few weeks, which is a great freaking accomplishment, especially with Spring Break coming up.

Apart from being emotionally hard, considering the... well, the memories tied to it, Spring Break just makes you anxious, more than ever now that you actually had access to the human world during it with Stolas’ Grimoire.

… Which is the exact concern Ozzie expressed during the last sleepover you had at his place the previous week.

But you got this under control.

Of course, you'd still be careful, planning on staying in the office more often until you could find yourself less nervous about going up, and you made sure to tell him that.

Besides, there's plenty things more fun and more important for you to think of. You've been hanging out with Blitzø a lot these days, and you were actually having fun with the ‘trade’ with Stolas that you were now an official part of. You and Milllie managed to keep the weekly sleepover nights pretty consistent, Loona hasn't been in such a terrible mood lately and, therefore, Moxxie has been significantly calmer, too. You'd even managed to be sooo brave and keep yourself calm enough to make small talk with Fizz when Ozzie left the two of you alone for a few minutes in one your nights over at their place. Hey, maybe next week you can ask him a question, even!

Not much, admittedly, but progress nonetheless. Befriending your best friend's boyfriend is a little nerve-wrecking, especially when he’s so wary of the fact that you’re the only demon in hell with the power to confirm the rumors about them are real and have shit hit the fan for them.

You even- wait.

You recognize the song the very second it starts playing, taking you out of your thoughts and glancing at Blitzø as he turns the volume all the way up.

“You were the spicy little demon with the bleach blonde hair-“ you sing along with the car radio, holding an imaginary microphone to yourself before holding it to Blitzø.

“F-fiending for some- uhh- yeah, when I caught your stare!” Blitzø tries to sing along into it as he drives and you laugh at his attempt to sing the lyrics, already knowing he'd get most of them somewhat wrong, before leaning towards him so you can both sing into the imaginary mic together.

“Thought it might be love- but what?”

“But you went too far! Fucked all my friends and-“ Blitzø’s eyes widen so much they might as well fall off their sockets. “Holy shit-“ He steers the wheel so violently everyone thrashes around in the car, everyone in the backseat falling over each other and pushes the brakes forcefully, making the car come to a stop abruptly and he immediately proceeds to shove his head through the open window to yell at whoever it was that, as you could see now, had parked in his designated parking space. “Oh, you suck for life, do ya?”

He even goes through the trouble of fumbling to grab a megaphone he apparently kept in the glove compartment for... situations like this? Well, something like that. He continues yelling out insults until the sight of who comes out of the car makes him stop speaking completely.

It’s a hard task making Blitzø shut his mouth, you gotta give her that.

“Oh, shit. Verosika.” You state out loud, but it's more to yourself than anything. What's weird is that Blitzø says the exact same thing, the exact same time.

"Oh, shit. Verosika?” He asks, and you figure it's more to himself than anything as well. He turns to face you for a moment, blinking a few times before speaking. “You know her?”

“Uhhh…. “ So much for things being good lately. You want to stall as much as you can, you want to vanish from where you were, you want the floor to swallow you whole never to be seen again. The most you can do about all of that is trying to sink down on your seat so she doesn't see you, but it’s no use, really. She pops her bubblegum and grins at you. She already has.

“Blitzo.”

“I should have known you’d be here. I could smell fish from miles, which is odd, because I believe the nearest ocean is-” he pushes himself so far out the window he ends up falling face-first to the floor, but gets up as quick as he can just so he can finish his insult. “Three rings down!”

“And I should’ve known you’d be here when I heard the amber alerts.”

“Oh, yeah? I’m surprised they let your fat ass out of rehab.” She was in rehab? Again? “I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that beelzejuice bottle like its the last cock in hell!”

“They let me out because I’m still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser washups. So… your sister says hi. You wanna come out now, y/n? I'm sure you're familiar with the subject."

You sigh, deciding it’s better to confront her right now than to let her say too much, and so you get out of the car, walking towards where her and Blitzø stood. “Hi.”

“Hi? That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“For starters, what the fuck is going on, maybe?”

“What do you mean?”

“Getting with my fucking ex? Now that’s low even for you.”

“Your ex? Who's your ex?”

“Oh so you didn't know I dated him, that’s totally not why you’re here with him right now. Right.”

“You dated her?”

“Yeah, we dated for a while,” Blitzø shrugs. Oh, no.

“Yeah, until he ran off leaving me to pay for the hotel room, stole my car and-” Blitzø joins in, finishing word for word what she had to say, like he'd heard the speech a million times before. You don't doubt he has. “-run three rings to wrath and max my credit cards on shitty horse-riding lessons!”

“Goddamit, whore, you will not let that go!”

“You… did that?”

“What, you gonna crucify me for it? How the fuck do you even know each other? Were you friends or something?"

“I- uh-”

“We dated too. Unfortunately.” Verosika spits out.

Blitzø turns to face you. “Wait what? You dated my ex?”

“Well I definitely dated her first. That tattoo was not there,” you point at the tattooed heart with Blitzø’s name crossed out inside of it, and Verosika instantly covers it with her coat.

“That’s true. Until… well, I’ll let the slut tell you what she did,” she tells Blitzø before smiling at you. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building, and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during Spring Break. Hey, maybe you wanna come too? Oh, wait, I forgot you’re on the big guy’s watchlist. Maybe he can give you a pemission slip?"

You avoid her gaze, feeling smaller than ever at the dig. She laughs at your reaction.

Blitzø interferes. “Well I don't know what that fucking means. But you said a week? No, no, you are not parking here for a fucking week.”

“Aw, you mad, Blitzø? Choke on a sandpaper cock.” She walks away flipping him off, and he chases after her.

You stay right where you are.

Blitzø follows suit behind her and threatens to call HR lest she parks somewhere else, which understandably sends all three of them into a laughing fit at the ridiculousness of the thought. Verosika snaps her fingers signaling to whoever her guard hound she’s parading around is to go, both exiting the parking lot.

As soon as they're gone, Loona barges out of the van. “You guys know Verosika Mayday?”

“Oh, yeah, her, yeah, we dated.”

“Yeah. Same.”

“Wait. You both dated Verosika Mayday?”

"Apparently."

“Ha! Now that’s karma.”

“Shut up, Moxxie,” Blitzø tells him.

“Was it before or after she became a popstar?” Millie asks.

“Sir. You dated a popstar?”

“Okay, why are you all acting like thats such a shock? Where's all that negative energy for y/n?”

“Hello? It’s Verosika Mayday.” Loona says, in a tone that's meant to shove it in his face that what they're trying to say is obvious.

“It’s… you.” Millie adds.

“I just- I mean, y/n is understandable. But you? Was she suffering some form of brain damage?”

“Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives.”

A chorus of different ways to tell him he does, all the time, erupts from the three, you even joining in with a “dude, yeah you do.”

“What was sex with her like?” Millie asks you, and you feel like you’re going to short-circuit. This is not something you want to get into right now.

“Millie!” Moxxie exclaims before you can even say anything in return.

“What? She’s a popstar! You'd wanna know what sex with Michael Crawford was like.”

Moxxie opens his mouth to dispute her but stops himself. “Touché.”

“So, tell me later?” Millie asks you.

“Just drop it!" Blitzø exclaims. "Millie, find a temporary spot for that truck, okay?” He throws the keys to her. “Looney, Moxxie, Y/n, let’s go handle this shit.”

You take the elevator, and Loona begins to nervously pull on her hair. “Do you think they saw me? Fuck, I did my makeup shitty today.”

“Oh, you look perfect, Looney! Like alwaysss” Blitzø tells her, and she rolls her eyes.

“Shut up da- Blitz.” She shoves him away.

“You look great, Loons. Not coming from your dad.”

“Ugh, don’t say ‘dad’,” Loona complains, storming off, presumably to the office, but bumps into the hellhound Verosika had been with in the parking lot, who you assume is her bodyguard.

Loona stutters as she tries to apologize for bumping into him, clearly flustered, and hey, you get why.

Blitzø notices it too, though, and immediately goes into protective dad mode, throwing himself between the two. “Aww, big man, where’s yout bitch bag of an employer?”

The bodyguard doesn’t seem amused by Blitzø’s try at being intimidating, a bored-as-ever look on his face. “She’s in her office. There wasn’t room on the second floor, so they rented one here on this one,” he explained, pointing at the door….

The door right across from the I.M.P. office.

Great. Awesome. Fucking fantastic.

“Oh, come on!” Blitzø exclaims, frustrated as well.

The guy laughs and shrugs before walking out. “Sorry, man.”

“Oh, no, you don’t, bitch,” Blitzø mumbles under his breath, eyes trained on Verosika’s door.

Moxxie chimes in. “Sir! How about you let me go in and try to reason with her? You two clearly have a history with her, but I’ll be immune to her insults! I don’t really listen to what’s classified as ‘pop genre’ music, so her status to me is-”

“Moxxie, shut the fuck up and go,” Blitzø interrups, and Moxxie goes on his way, entering the office. Through the blurred glass wall, you could make out the silhouette of Verosika and two other concubi.

From outside, it’s still possible to hear what he says to her, and it is pitiful. “Hello Ms…. Verosika, was it? I work for IMP and it is actually rather important for us to retain the singular parking space we were assigned, because-”

One of the concubi interrupts him, and you swear you find the voice familiar. “Aw, look at the little one! He’s got a little bowtie!”

“Please don’t condescend me, ma’am. I’m-”

An incubus pops out of nowhere, offering to do something you can’t quite make out to him.

“A… kind offer, but… I’m married.”

Verosika leans down to Moxxie’s level. “Hey, why don’t you send a little message from me back to your limp-dick boss and his new girlfriend?”

Oh fuck, oh fuck-

They’re on him in a second, the true forms showing through the blurred glass as silhouettes..

“Shit, Moxxie!”

“Moxxie, don’t let her access any of your holes!” Blitzø yells at him.

“We should go inside!” You tell him, but it’s a mere second before Moxxie’s thrown out the door. You help him get up, and you can’t help but worry if he’s okay. “Mox?”

“I- I gotta go lie down, now,” he tells you, walking into the I.M.P. office.

For a second, Blitzø looks worried about him too. And then that’s replaced with anger. “Oh, this won’t stand!” He screams, kicking open the door to Verosika’s new office and promptly yelling at her. “Alright, cunt, that’s it! If you’re gonna be shitty to my employees, then I challenge you to a fucking…challenge! Fuck, I said that twice.”

“Is this imp boy starting a demon duel?” Fuck. It’s Izabeth. That’s why the voice was familiar. You remember being her friend too. Now she glanced at you as you stood by the door like you were nothing.

All of them did.

“I think he is!” Verosika replies, seemingly excited. “What’s the game, then, Blitzo?” Of course she insisted in calling him that, too.

“Every year you STD spreaders go up topside for easy picking while Spring Break is a prime time for crime of all kind.” You know he says it to hurt her, but his words hurt you too. Does he think that about you, too? Is that how he sees you? Is that how they all see you? There’s not much time to dwell on that just then. He keeps on. “So I bet you succu-bitches can’t fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day.”

They all laugh at him, and, yeah, you would too if you were in their place, probably.

When Blitzø doesnt back down, she leans down to be at face-level with him. “Oh, you’re serious? Well, then we’re gonna talk rules.”

“Rules? You fuck and we kill why would we need rules?”

“Her.” She points at you with a gloved claw, and your eyes widen. “She can’t seduce anyone to lure them to be killed.”

“What? That’s bullshit!”

“Hey, I’m only making things fair! Seducing the humans is our thing. And you wouldn’t believe how good she is at that. There would be none left for us, would there?” she grins.

“Oh fuck you, Verosika,” you say, tired of the witty remarks about the past you so desperately wanted to bury.

“Bet you still would if I let you.” She leans down to face Blitzø once again. “Fair?”

“Okay. We don’t need that anyway.”

“Alright then. Game on, bitch.”

[. . .]

Blitzø manages a whole two seconds of silence as you walk to the office before he just has to say something. “So. Ya wanna tell me what that whole thing was about?”

“What do you mean?”

“The way she was acting super shady and talking shit about you? She said she’d let you explain what you did to her and that’s saying something cause when it comes to me? Oh she looooves talking about what I did to her.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Huh. I’ll get it out of you somehow. But. Apparently you were like some sort of human seducing machine is what I hear? Why do we take so little advantage of that?”

“Cause we don’t need to. I’m an assassin now. I kill. I don’t need to seduce anyone to do that.”

“Okay! Okay, geez. Whatever. But don’t think I forgot whatever that was about you being on some “big guy’s watchlist”.”

You wish he would.

The two of you are the last ones to enter the meeting room, and you take a seat next to Loona as Blitzø stands in front of the big white board with stupid shit drawn all over it.

“Alright, shut your assholes! Here’s how we’re gonna do this shit.” He pulls out a drawing of yourselves, seemingly out of nowhere, and points to it as if it explained everything, when in reality it was pretty much indecipherable. “First, we find a fuck ton of clients. We portal up. We have our fun murder time as per usual. We pile all the bodies into a big fucking canoe. We push said canoe into some water. We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles and maybe a goose too, fuck it. They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet, we rub it in that sloppy bitch’s drunken whore-ass face, do you have any questions?”

“A canoe?” You ask.

“Why do we have to light them on fire?” Millie follows.

“Uh, yeah, why was that nonsense?”

“That one wasn’t a question.”

“That wasn’t a plan.”

“I’m sorry, that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Mox, it’s not my fault you got a smooth little brain upstairs.”

“A what, now?”

“I’m calling you slow, Moxxie. God, why don’t you learn to take criticism, you talentless baby fucked troll?”

Moxxie climbs up to stand on the table, fuming. “Why don’t you take an art class?”

“Why don’t you see how expensive they are?” Blitzø yells back, pulling on the collar of Moxxie’s dress shirt.

“Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?” Loona questions, nonchalant, interrupting whatever it was that was happening between the two and making everyone turn to look at her.

“Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie, Spring Break is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of freaks up there who drool all over you!”

“Just let the girl go, Blitzø,” you tell him, and he gives you a dirty look.

“Yeah, Blitz! I can blend in with humans easy enough. Just let me tag along!”

“Wait. Say that again.”

“I can… blend in with humans?”

“Do you have a human disguise?” Millie asks her, and you stop to think of it too. Since when has that been going on? Everyone’s seen yours plenty enough, even though you didn’t use it every single time you went up. How did you somehow miss the fact that Loona had a disguise of her own?

“Yeah, don’t all of you? I’ve seen y/n’s.”

The three share looks between each other, similar looks of deer caught in headlights.

“Wait. Are you the only one who has one?” Loona asks you.

“Well, yeah.”

“The three dickheads have been screwing around on Earth this whole fucking time without human disguises? And you’ve been letting them?”

“Hey how’s that my fault? Not like I can conjure disguises for them.”

“Hey now, we have to focus here! New plan. Y/n’s not allowed to use her human disguise cause apparently she’s this huge human awe-ing machine or something. But they didn’t say we couldn’t use Looney’s. Looney, you can help lure the humans to us and we’ll take care of the rest. Real simple, yeah?”

“Wait what’s that about a human aweing machine?” Moxxie questions.

“Unimportant,” you reply.

“How about the new plan, then?” Blitzø asks.

“Flawless logic,” Millie says.

“I think you’re missing the biggest issue, sir. Isn’t it crucial to have a client who demands enough kills to win this bet? We aren’t just going up to massacre!”

Moxxie has a point. But, surprisingly, it seems Blitzø has thought of that already.

“I got that covered.”

Blitzø takes out a blank piece of paper, scribbling away on it with the markers you bought him for his birthday a few months prior. After finishing whatever it was he was doing with it, he takes you all outside, revealing the handmade flyer as he glued it to a lamppost just outside the building.

Spring break

Victim

50% off!!

It even had a drawing of his very happy doodle-self beside a decapitated person and, naturally, various horse drawings scattered around the page that had nothing to do with anything. As charming as it was, there was really no way this single tiny flyer could attract anyone, let alone enough clients to have you win the bet with Verosika.

“Now, we wait.”

Moxxie voices thoughts similar to yours. “Sir, there is no way we are going to get enough clients by the end of the day with one poorly spelled, bad-grammar flyer!”

It takes less than a single minute for the street to be packed with people waiting in line in front of it.

Blitzø opens a cocky grin, laughing at Moxxie and elbowing his side before walking up to the first few people in line. “Now, who’s first?”

Okay, maybe he had this under control, after all. Huh.

[. . .]

Satan, Spring Break was… the exact same.

It was the absolute same as it ever had been, down to the thick, thick scent of hormones, sweat and bodily fluids mixed with sunscreen and a hint of weed, up to the obnoxiously loud music and even more obnoxiously loud people.

As annoying as it was to think of it now,, Spring Break did serve you a great deal in the past. Easiest, quickest way to human sex you’d ever encountered. The weeks of Spring Break could be enough to saciate a concubus’ need to go up for a long time if you were smart about it.

They were supposed to be enough, at least.

It’s been quite a few years since you’ve been up on Earth during this time of the year. Ozzie would not be pleased to hear about it, and he’d probably still go on and on about how irresponsible and careless you were being, but if you could get through this, and you truly felt you could, then maybe you could make him proud, too. Happy for you, even.

Well. Nothing like a little murder to get your mind off of things these past couple years. What’s some more?

“Now, remember, we can’t be seen, alright? And loose shots will likely cause a panic, so Loona can help with leading targets to a better spot to off ‘em. You got thhe, Looney?”

Loona takes a sniff at the piece of paper before nodding, standing up to change into her human disguise. Blitzø beams at her appearance.

“Oh, Looney, look at you, you look downright awful! I am so proud. Now fetch!” He points to the packed beach, and she does as said.

Luring the humans was going rather easily with Loona’s help. Blitzø wasn’t wrong, they were all over her. All it took was a look and a ‘come here’ motion, and she could take them wherever she needed: dark alleys where Blitzø could blow their heads off with a gun as she leaned back and watched, by the bridge where Millie could push them to their death and Moxxie could take care of the body, by some hidden corner where you could behead them… yeah, things were going pretty okay, and you had nine kills in no time.

Blitzø was just bragging about it to no one in particular when her voice came on.

“Alright, Spring Breakers! Y’all ready to get fucked up and make som ebitching bad choices?” Verosika announces from up on the stage, where she stood in her human disguise while huge pink-colored screens read ‘fuck you blitzo’ on them in block letters all around her.

“Fuck, she’s gonna sing. We’re not gona stand a chance,” you say, more to yourself than anyone else.

And that’s exactly what she does. “This is your final boarding call. All aboard.”

Pack your bags

Sun’s out

Take a vacay, babe

Take it straight to bonetown

V-time, free time, baby, relax

Self-care, no hair, brazilian wax

Hornt-up, succu-bus to the beach

Catch some rays while catching some D

It takes less than a whole minute for all the concubi she’d come up to earth with to find themselves busy with one, two or more humans each. Which makes up more than the total kills up until now.

“Goddamnit, that bitch started her goadish mating call! Now she’s gonna win all these sex maniacs, we gotta pick things up, guys.”

You nod in agreement, motioning to a guy throwing up beside you. “How about him?”

“Is he on the list, Looney?” Blitzø asks, but she’s… distracted. Of course, it’s pretty clear what’s going on.

“Yeah. Yeah I think so,” she replies, and it doesn’t reassure you at all, not when her whole undivided attention is trained on the Vortex guy who you have to admit looks pretty hot in his human disguise. And hey, he looked human but he wasn’t human, so you wonder if it would- no. Fuck, no. You’re not here for anything other than killing the targets in the list.

Loona’s reply seems enough for Blitzø, who grabs an axe from who-the-fuck-knows-where and quite literally slices the man in half after getting asked if he’s a leprechaun. “Alright, Looney, c’mon, who’s next? Looney? Loon- Looney? Where’s my baby?”

Blitzø immediately panics as he can’t find her where she just was a second ago, and you grab him by the shoulders to turn him in her direction as she walks up to talk to Vortex, making to take care of disposing of the leprechaun guy’s corpse with Millie’s help as Blitzø just stares for a moment before following her.

Pack your bags

Sun’s out

Take a vacay, babe

Take it straight to bonetown

Verosika takes a swig out of a flask before yelling out “now, who wants a piece of this?” and throwing it to the audience. The liquid ends up spilled into many people’s drinks as it flies through the air before landing on the ocean water, and it takes about three seconds for your suspicions about what was in the flask to be proven right as you notice the way people are acting now- that sure as shit wasn’t just alcohol..

You and Millie find Moxxie after you’re done, and he’s watching Blitzø pathetically try to cockblock Loona. He sighs. “Aaaan, we’ve lost him. It’s looking like it’s up to us to handle this list. You wanna make sure he doesn’t blow our cover?” He asks you, and you sigh in annoyance.

“Not like I get to want anything.” You stand up regardless, making your way to where the three stood while Millie and Moxxie began their speed-run (speed-kill?) of the target list.

“What, I can’t have a break?” Is the first thing you hear from the conversation, coming from Loona.

You immediately interrupt, scolding Blitzø. “Blitz you need to get the fuck out of here you’re gonna get us into shit!”

“That’s exactly what I just said!” Loona tells you.

“That is exactly what she just said, actually,” Vortex comments and you ignore it.

“A break? We have a parking spot on the line!” Blitzø yells back, and you know he’s actually being protective of her but pretending it’s about something else.

Vortex decides to tell him off too. “Hey, dude, why dont you chill out?”

“Why don’t you stay out of it? ‘Kay? This is our business.” He holds up another one of his doodles with his tail for a second. “Literally.”

Loona growls in frustration at him. “Fuck, Blitz! Why can’t you stay out of my face for, like, five minutes?”

“Because I adopted you! And that should mean something!” He turns his back to her, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.

“Oh, what does it matter? You’re not my real dad. I was almost eighteen!”

“It still counts!”

“Well, it shouldn’t!”

“Loon-” you try to stop her. You know her well enough to know she’ll feel bad for saying whatever she’s saying right now, but it’s no use.

“No! I didn’t need him then and I don’t need him now. You hear that, Blitz? I. Don’t. Need. You!” She’s the one to turn her back to him this time, and he looks back at her with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“Okay, look, I know that hurt, but you can’t be out here, Blitz.”

“But- but Looney-”

“She just wants to talk to a cute guy without getting embarrassed. Let her be normal. She doesn’t mean it.”

“Oh how are you so fucking sure, huh? You keep secrets.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You ask him as you shove him away from the large group of people.

“Yeah I said it. You’re a- you’re a secret keeper! Who are you to know if people mean what they say?”

“Blitz, if this is about what Verosika said-”

“Oh but it is! It is about what Verosika said! Or what she didn’t say actually. Do we even know you?”

“My life before you is none of your fucking business- fuck.” you lose track of what you were going to yell at him when you see Moxxie get thrown in the air, getting exposed to a few people around where he lands on the sand. Blitzø’s eyes follow yours.

“Ah! Oh, my god, it’s a fucking possum!” A woman exclaims, pointing at Moxxie, to which he curses under his breath before some guy grabs him from the ground and shoves him into a beer cooler, immediately throwing it around in the air with Moxxie inside.

“Come on, we gotta go help Mox out,” you tell Blitzø.

“Ya hear that, Looney? I’m gonna go kill something. You enjoy your break!” He childishly yells to her.

You find Moxxie at the same time as Millie does. Pulls the cooler’s lid open and he falls out of it, clearly drunk off his mind from the beer. She stands over him and he calls out her name excitedly from where he lies on the sand. “Millie! Hi. Hey. Hey, where did you get four heads? I wanna kiss ‘em!” He makes grabby hands and a kissy face at her, to which she just smiles in return at the drunken state he’s in. It’s sweet, actually.

“Come on, Mox,” she mumbles before helping him stand up. He’s so wasted he needs to lean on her to keep himself standing.

“You guys okay?” Blitzø asks her.

“Yeah, we-” Millie starts, but is interrupted by… well…

“Ooh! Fish!” Moxxie exclaims, giggling, as he points to the huge, monstrous creature that rose out of the ocean, killing everything in it’s way out of the water and causing panic to overcome everyone in the beach, resulting in a screaming, bloody mess all over.

Personally, that’s not the word you’s use for it, but sure. A fish.

The fish captures Moxxie with its gross, gigantic tongue, pulling him towards itself before attempting to swallow the imp. Fuck.

Millie shares a look with you before promptly killing a man, stealing the glass bottle he held and improvising a molotov cocktail, throwing it at the creature and stunning it enough to fall back in the shallow part of the water. “Kill the rest of ‘em! Go!” She yells out to you and Blitzø, which is enough for you to trust her to solve the situation on her own.

You and Blitzø resume to killing whoever more you could identify as targets, a harder task now that they were panicking and running around in a frenzy, but you manage to get about six before Millie’s done, cutting the creature’s tongue off as it held Moxxie and sending him flying over towards Blitzø, where Blitzø, who manages to catch him in his arms, making one of the targets shocked enough for you to put a bullet though their head.

Millie finally begins to walk up to where you are after killing the monster, chest heaving with heavy breaths and spitting a little blood on the sand, but otherwise okay.

“Is Mox alright?” Is the very first thing she asks.

“Oh, yeah, he’s fine! Way to show off, Mills!” Blitzø yells, and she smiles. You give her a fist bump as she approaches you before she grabs a giggling Moxxie off of Blitzø’s arms, and she can’t help but laugh herself.

“This is funny. I’m soooooo drinky.”

She squeezes him tight and you smile at the interaction.

You only get so much smiling time when Verosika’s around.

“Blitzø.” She calls, and you all turn to see her standing with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Oh, perfect! That must be the whores!” He quips.

“I only see two whores around here and they’re right in front of me.”

“Hey you watch your filthy fucking mouth.”

“That was handled rather… obviously, don’t you think?”

Millie picks up Verosika’s flask form the sand, holding it up before throwing it to her. “I don’t think this belongs to any of us. Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world.”

“Yeah y/n here could tell the big Oz himself. He wouldn’t be very thrilled, don’t ya think?” Blitzø is quick to threaten.

“Ha! She should be more worried about him finding out she’s up here right now.”

“Go fuck yourself. He’s not the boss of me. He’s the boss of you, though, isn’t he?”

Moxxie laughs obnoxiously. “Oh, Satan! You got yourself fucked!”

“Yeah, well, you three nasty-ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises." She turns to face you, a bitter, hostile grin taking over her features. "And you! Your little friend already took your crystal privileges away. You wanna be a bigger disappointment?"

“Don't act like you fucking know him."

Moxxie falls over face-first onto the sand between you. “A human called me a possum. I am not a possum!” He slurs out.

“Hold on, crystal privileges?" Blitzø questions you.

It's Verosika who answers, though. “She not tell you about it?" She lets out a laugh. "Doesn’t shock me.”

Fuck. “Verosika-”

“You little fucks never wondered why she doesn't have one?”

“What do you mean? She gets one from Ozzie when she needs it like all of you freaks-" Blitzø immediately defends.

“Oh, Blitzo, you really are fucking stupid, aren't you?" She interrupts him. "She used to have one."

No. “Ver, come on-”

“Don't! Call me that. No. You're gonna hear me say what you did." She turns back to Blitzø, the same rage in her eyes as when she recalled all the ways he'd wronged her in the past, earlier that day. "Your little girlfriend here was forbidden from coming up to Earth without Ozzie’s permission for years.”

“What?” Millie asks, and it seems accidental that she says it out loud.

“Yeah. Sorry-ass had to be babysat every time she had to come up. On a watchlist like a freakin' criminal, cause, well- she kind of is." She eyes you up and down before she spits out "I'm surprised you can even be here right now. Congratulations.”

“Well duh? Of course she's a criminal. That's kind of what we do.”

“Oh, Blitzo, the killing thing you guys do is adorable. But no one bats an eye at a little murder, it's Hell. No, she broke demon law." And, then, the final threat of a carefully blocked out, written-over past, coming to haunt you in the form of her. "You wanna tell them your record time or should I?”

“You have no fucking right-”

“I have every right! I have every right. It was five months, two weeks and two days. You know how pathetic that is?"

“That supposed to mean something, bitch?” Millie growls, protective.

“Other than her being a whore, no,” Verosika shrugs.

“What does that even mean?” Moxxie asks her.

“She stayed up here for five months, two weeks and two days straight once when we were dating. I was worried sick, we fucking lived together too. And then I find out she’s been up here fucking whatever human that came into her line of sight instead of coming back home.”

“I’m- it’s not-”

“‘It’s not what you think, Ver, I swear!’” She mocks. “Boo-fucking-hoo! Now she’s on a watchlist cause Asmodeus for some fucking reason liked her enough to just be worried instead of actually punishing her.”

“I wasn’t in my right mind, you have no fucking-” fuck, you’re voice is trembling now.

“Save it, bitch.”

Blitzø notices your discomfort, deciding it’s better to go home and solve whatever this mess was there. He walks up to Verosika. “Look. We keep this pathetic little b-movie scene on the down low and you let us use the parking space. She doesn’t tell her lusty bff about what you did and everyone lives happily ever after. Deal?”

“Fine,” Verosika says through gritted teeth. “But I hate you.”

“Don’t care. We fucking won!”

[. . .]

“So… you don’t have to talk about it, but… please talk about it. What was that?” Millie asks you, careful.

You sigh. Maybe this time there’s no running from it.

A/N: genuinely don’t even know of this is good vut alas! we’re so back! sorry for the long wait lol love y’all

[wormswurld]

forced feminization ollie with felix! (pt. 2) 🌟

i am a man of the people! here’s more forced fem! ollie cuz the world needs ittttt :3

- the first time felix shaved ollie’s stubble he “accidentally” knicked him on his jaw,, it’s ollie’s fault he was so shaky and nervous right? i mean felix did have a blade near his jugular…so what does fucked up felix do? lick the blood off his face. obviously. “there all better, yeah?” and ollie just nods softly as he slowly exhales a shuddery little breath

- first time felix gets ollie in a pretty babydoll dress he asks for a spin,, forcing ollie to tell him Who dressed him up and How pretty he is 😵‍💫 probably ends with felix asking ollie “what are you wearing underneath?” with the most shit eating grin and ollie just embarrassingly bends over showing felix his pink lacy panties that say “property of felix catton” in cute swirly cursive letters with a bow sitting right above his tail bone 🎀

- when ollie gets really into his role of being felix’s girlfriend he calls him “sir” 🤤 ie: “are you gonna be a good girl for me? be my pretty little arm candy when we go out?” and ollie with his eyes all glazed over look up at felix responds with a breathy “yes..sir” and felix wants to FUCK HIM ON SIGHT.

- whenever they are super super fucking drunk felix insists on ollie (messily) dancing on a stripper pole,, poor ollie babe just twirling himself around giggling and feeling all warm and fuzzy cuz he has felix’s attention on him though when they leave the club shitfaced ollie trips cuz of his heels and felix’s says “okay that’s enough” and just carries him bridal style to his dorm 🤗

- felix probably gets venetia & farleigh in on the “joke”… venetia making comments about how ugly ollie’s nails are so she suggests to paint them for him, making sure to choose the girliest color & designs,, whereas farleigh is just more catty with ollie, easily provoking him and stuff like that one day ollie snaps back and farleigh goes “awwww looks like oliver’s on her period everyone” and poor ollie just stomps off

- next to felix venetia probably gets the most into it LOL,, “y’know i’ve never seen felix bring around girls like you before..” & “i know you’ve never kissed another girl before, felix told me.” and she just gets all up in his personal space making it quite literally IMPOSSIBLE to get away (trying not to think about dom! venetia and fem! ollie….)

- holy fuck thinking abt felix sending venetia and ollie into town to go shopping for bikinis…..oliver just blushing the entire time he’s dragged around by venetia ultimately losing it when she holds up the skimpiest bikini up to his body “this would look good on you don’t you think?” & obviously before they check out ollie gets a text from felix asking him to try it on 😵‍💫

- whenever felix’s is feeling nice he eats ollie out (literally just hearing felix saying that melts him completely….)

- felix’s controls what ollie eats 😊 always ordering for him whenever they are at a fancy restaurant

- ollie’s favorite pet names consist of: pretty girl, my girl, darling, princess, and love (his favorite..)

hope y’all enjoyed this one! wanted to go more in depth with it hehe i know felix is a major asshole but he softens up from time to time,, especially when it comes to his pretty girlfriend ollie 😵‍💫💖✨

tag list for my amazing freaky ppl that understand the vision: @mcr-and-coffee, @fuckingwoodfuckingpaneling, @pr0fessional-cunt, @ollieapologist, @island-in-the-shadows, @coldblooded-angel, @dylandaydreams, and @icarusamica !!

[clansocreations]

Meliodas from Nanatsu no Taizai/Seven deadly sins is actually so funny like goddamn.

Like here is this absolute freaking badass who takes names and kicks ass and also runs a tavern. He can't cook for shit. It's a running joke how he's unable to prepare literally any food that doesn't suck.

He isn't really secretive about his identity but people tend to not believe him.

"lol, is this kid really Meliodas, Captain of the Seven Deadly Sins"

Famous last words!! Because it is and he will mess you up.

He will end your bloodline if you mess with his girlfriend.

He has wanted posters of all of the Seven Deadly Sins *including himself* hung up at his tavern.

He originally opened the place to get more information on where his old mates are but even after all of them are found and the tavern gets blown to bits in an epic fight they rebuild it and continue to run it while also taking ass and kicking names.

Two of his old fighting buddies are also coincidentally (apart from being absolute badasses who kick ass and take names)

- a really good cook

-an expert bartender

So Boar Hat Tavern goes from "decent booze, atrocious food"

To "amazing food, great booze" over the course of the show

And here's the hilarious part.

In the sequel, the new protagonists of that sequel are ordered to come to the Kingdom of Liones, by orders of the King of Liones.

But once they get there they can't immediately talk to the guy who asked them to travel all this way and the following exchange occurs:

Guard 1: you can't talk to the king, he's gone to hang out

(Guard 2 elbows Guard 1) He's gone on a very important mission.

YEAH RIGHT, he's gone and fucked off to...guess where. His tavern. Which is still in business. Sixteen years after the end of the original show.

He then also serves his signature awful food to te new protagonist.

When I saw him do that I was like OMG Budddyyyy I'm so glad you're okay the last time I saw you you literally were the main antagonist. I'm so glad you're alright 🥲 😭

Tldr: i think its funny that Meliodas, former Great Holy Knight of Danafall and Royal Holy Knight of Liones, former leader of the Ten Commandments, Captain of the Seven Deadly Sins, Traitor to his people (twice), traitor to his kingdom, traitor to his other Kingdom, and eventually actual for real king of the second kingdom, feared unlike no other by goddesses, demons and everyone else whos ever seen him get serious in a fight

That this guy really really wants nothing more in the world than to run his business with his girlfriend and their weird ass found family troupe of ex-knights.

(He wants the quiet life so bad. Everything he's ever done, every kicked ass and taken name has been out of a really desperate need for a quiet life.

And then in the end they get it. And I love that for them. )

But it's still funny that he still can't cook even after 21-ish years of owning the bar.

Also: I started from the top down again AND THIS STILL SLAPS

[nalyra-dreaming]

Comments on 2x08!!! Well… spoilers, obviously:)

.

.

.

.

Being buried like that is my absolute worst fear holy shit

Armand painting himself as the poor little victim makes me livid lol

Louis thinking about what he could havw changed and always arriving at kissing Lestat?!!! 😭😭😭😭

Armand reviving Louis but letting him tonrise by himself *insert middle finger emoji*

Louis going a bit mad - holy shit. sooooooo creepy I love it. And him preparing and getting their asses!!! Sublime!

Thank god Louis takes her diaries and dress 😭

Calling “Francis“ LMAO and with Come To Me toooooo 🙌😈😈

That sliver of light separating Louis and Armand… and Armand just continues to lie….

Sorry not believing the dungeon scene. Lestat just… sitting there? Contemplating and citing Magnus??? Mhhhh. Louis… threatening him and then… passionate kiss and leaving with Armand? That’s…. another Armand fanfic. Sorry, but … lol. No. No way. OR it’s edited and Louis bargained for Lestat‘s life there. As for Claudia’s back then. For example Louis could have burned Lestat there and that is why he was so apprehensive and fearful in SF. But this??? Nahhhhhhh - but: We‘ll see. In s3 apparently ^^ I could also see Louis burning him there or in the theater in a rage, but we’ll see. Anyways: this??? Nope. :)

Also, that blood of Akasha nod is very weird

Ah yes - the disassembly has started 😈

Get him Daniel!!!!!

There goes the broadcasting theory 🤓

And the soldiers!!!!! Yesssss

Not believing the rehearsing btw

LESTAT SAVED LOUISSSSSSSSSS Yesssss baby 🙌 I KNEW IT

Look at them bleeding ears 🥹 (also Armand (supposedly) would have let Louis die. Right. We‘re alllll clear on that, right.)

77 YEARS BASED ON A SEISMIC LIE (ooof!!!!)

Oof Louis is maddddd

Yes get his ass. Also him threatening Armand 👀

Hurricane Odetta! 2021!!!! The crime tour was funny. And then… Moss house. Implied fledgling but… no way

Yeah. Rip my heart out while you’re at it. JAM just have the energy for them. And god… Lestat breaking on remembering Claudia burn 😭 and the embrace on him calling himself her father.

Lestat looks like healing from burns still 👀 (also him using Siri?!!!)

Louis apologizing for making Lestat miserable

Because he didn’t know it was a gift 😭😭😭😭

That embrace. The looks. It’s just raw 😭😭😭

And to leave us like that the BASTARDS!!!!

Daniel!!!! Sweety!!!! Love the sass!!!Look at your eyes!!!! But yeah no, Armand did not turn you out of spite lol

But - calling it: contested NOLA meeting (OR Lestat is in Dubai either Louis)

Louis (supposedly) returning to Dubai alone… I get it. Louis needs to find himself. And honestly?? After Claudia asking him who he is outside of Claudia and Lestat? To say: “I own the night“????? ROCKS. 🙌🙌🙌

Also: Louis challenging the other vampires to come and get him - well - with the s3 announcement??? - HERE COMES THE VAMPIRE LESTAT!!!

I‘m not crying and grinning happily, you are…

*sniffs*

Episode Insider:

Jacob texting that pic - LMAO

Assad: All lf the facade […] has been shown to be a complete lie

Jacob: Lestat would have saved Claudia if he‘d had the energy 😭

Jacob: There’s things said at the end that nobody will ever know other than me and Sam. RIP ME 💀

OKAY. I‘m … good. Happy. Satisfied. Season 3 - here we fucking come!!!!