#yeah sure why not ill put one on see if it gets anywhere

[wind-up-thancred]

dear god i almost forgot to post this today. it's both thancred thursday AND thanksgiving today. therefore,

happy thancsgiving folks

[kpop---scenarios]

Whiplash (6)

Pairing: Felix x Reader x Hyunjin

Genre: Street Racing, Gang, Friends to Lovers

Warnings: Sexually Suggestive Things, Language, Jealousy, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 4.2k

Taglist: @sheala--marie @kayleefriedchicken @chartrucewhore @cookiesnmilfx @thicccurls @aznstoner @velvetmoonlght

One | Two | Three | Four | Five |

“You're fucking psycho if you think I'll ever be back in this house again.” You spit. “Who are you? The San I knew would never have done this! Never would have drugged me!” You scream.

Felix and Hyunjin stare at you like they have just seen a ghost.

“I-I never drugged you!” He stuttered. “Are you sure your brain is working?” He laughs.

“There's no way I'd sleep for 12+ hours without you slipping something into my water. I knew it tasted funny!” You yell.

“You mother fucker!” Felix yells, lunging for San. Hyunjin grabs onto him, holding him back. He knows it won't do anyone any good for them to fight, especially you. As angry as he was right now, he knew he needed to do what was best for you and Felix getting into a fight with San would surely not be good for your recovery.

“If I see you out, you better watch your fucking back. I'm sick of you and your shit with Y/N. I swear to god if you touch her again ill fucking kill you.” Felix screams as Hyunjin pulls him outside, with you following closely behind.

Felix pulls himself out of Hyunjin’s grip, walking a little down the short walkway, taking deep breaths to try and calm down.

“I'm sorry.” you whisper. Felix turns around, he looks confused. Hyunjin stares at you in disbelief.

“Sorry for what?” Felix asks, walking closer to you.

“for everything. For believing San over you guys, for coming here, for just everything that I put you through the last little bit.” You cry.

“Listen to me.” Hyunjin starts. “You didn't put us through anything. HE put you and us through hell for his own sick enjoyment.” Hyunjin tells you. You can hear it in his voice how angry and upset he is at the moment.

“Never apologize for this. This wasn't you at all.” Felix chimes in. “So don't feel guilty, don't be upset and don't ever think we're mad at you for any of this.” He finishes.

The three of you walk to the car, Felix opening the passenger door for you before climbing in the back while Hyunjin takes the driver's seat.

“Now.” He starts. “We can go to the house or your apartment, which one do you want?”

“My apartment please.” You breathe. “I begged San to take me there but he wouldn't. I just want to be home.” You say. Hyunjin smiles as he starts to drive in the direction of your place. They were so fucking happy that you had come back to them, but they couldn't help but wonder how long they would have you for before something went wrong, because in their life, something always went wrong.

“Ah, my bed!” You squeal as you lay down gently in your bed, making sure not to hit the still tender wound on the back of your head.

“Are you hungry? Thirsty? Is there anything we can get you? Do you want us to stay? Go?” Felix asks. He really hoped you would ask them to stay.

“Please stay. I don't wanna be without you guys.” You smile. “I know we're really just starting out this relationship and already so many things have happened..” you pause. “So if you want out, tell me now.” You finish, holding your breath.

They both look confused again.

“Out?” Hyunjin asks.

“Why would we want out?” Felix asks.

“Because. Like I said. So much has happened.” You mutter.

“I've waited years for you baby, I'm not going anywhere unless I'm 6 feet in the ground.” Felix says.

“Yeah, you wanna get rid of me love, you're gonna have to kill me.” Hyunjin winks.

How did you end up so fucking lucky? You usually weren't the one to have the happy ending but maybe now things are finally changing for you?

You get under the covers in your bed, patting either side for the boys. They crawl in with you, snuggling up to you. You can't help but fall asleep so quickly, feeling so safe and loved right now. Over the next week you spent almost all your time in bed with Felix and Hyunjin waiting on you hand and foot. By the end of the week you felt back at 10p% and you were so grateful for them. As the three of you went to bed that night, you had a plan for the next day and you hoped they would be on board.

**

You wake up in the morning, feeling refreshed and sweaty. You have Felix’s arm draped around you with Hyunjin’s leg pinning you down. Your head was kinda sore but not as bad as it had been. You were finally feeling more yourself but you knew you needed to take some advil or something to alleviate the soreness you were in. You felt normal again and you loved it.

“Felix.” you groan, poking up. “Hyunjin. Move. My head is sore. I need something.” You say. Both men shoot up in bed, scrambling out and each running in a different direction to find you something. Minutes later Felix comes back with medicine while Hyunjin appears with some water.

“Perfect.” You smile, taking the pills and water. “Thank you. But you know you really didn't need to rush. It's just a small headache.” You giggle.

Felix looks at his phone, then looks back at you. “The guys want to see you.. I guess Chan is really beating himself up about this.” He sighs. You crawl out of bed, looking for some clothes.

“Well let's go then.” You say, grabbing an outfit to change into.

An hour later you're sitting outside the house. “Are you sure you're up for it?” Hyunjin asks.

“Definitely.” You smile. You wanted your normal life back and you needed them to stop treating you like you were a fragile glass doll. You were more resilient than they knew. The three of you walk up to the door. When the door opened, there stood 6 men with smiles on their faces to greet you.

“I'm so glad you're back, Y/N. Once you're up for it I want a beer chugging rematch.” Han laughs, wrapping his arms around you.

“You wanna lose again?” You giggle, moving on to Changbin who squeezes you tightly.

Seungmin and Lee Know both give you a quick hug, murmuring something you didn't quite catch, while Jeongin pulls you in tightly as well. You walk over to Chan, who's standing a little ways back from the group, his head hangs low as you approach him.

“I should have told the cops it was San..Y/N I'm so sorry for this whole thing. It's my fault.. I should have..” he continues to say, but you cut him off.

“Chan, stop it. You couldn't have known how things were going to turn out. I was fine and then I wasn't but I'm okay now. And I hope you know I'm not mad at you and I don't hold any of your decisions against you.” You say. You open your arms, pulling the sad man into you. He wraps his arms around you tightly, sniffling into your shoulder.

“Alright, alright.” Felix says, pulling you away from Chan. “She needs to rest now, go on.” He says, shooing the man away.

“Lix, I'm fine.” You smile. He looks at you like he's going to melt.

“Lix, huh?” He grins. “I like it.”

“Do you?” You say, matching his grin. You lean in closer to him, your lips brushing against his ear. “My Lixxie.” You whisper.

“Oh baby.” He groans, his deep sultry voice coming out to play. “You're just asking for it, aren't you?”

You turn your head, smirking as you look at Hyunjin. “You think I'm asking for it Jin?” You wink. He chuckles as he walks towards the two of you. “Mhmm, Jin? I don't know.” He sighs.

“How about Jinnie?” You whisper.

“I could get used to that.” He grins.

You lean in, your lips so close to touching before Chan pipes up.

“ Sorry to interrupt boys but we've got business to take care of.” He says, looking at Hyunjin and Felix.

“A race?” You question, looking between the two men.

Hyunjin and Felix both glance at each other before Hyunjin sighs. “Yeah there's a race tonight. But we have some things to take care of beforehand.” He says, looking at Felix.

“Stay here. We'll be back as soon as we can, okay?” Felix smiles.

No. You didn't want to stay. You were better, you wanted to go.

“I'm coming.” You say. You flashback to the last time you went and what happened. But you couldn't be afraid forever.

Felix and Hyunjin knew that they couldn't control you and if you said you felt ready then you were ready. They just hated the fact that they couldn't protect you while they raced.

“Fine. But while we race you need to stay with Chan and Changbin, okay? San will likely be there.” Hyunjin sighs.

You nod your head, excited to be able to see them race again. You stayed at the house while they went out and did whatever they needed to do before the rave, when they were done they swung by the house and picked an excited you up and headed out.

The crowd was larger than you remembered. There were more people racing this time and the spot was a lot bigger. You felt sure that with this many people in this big of a place you wouldn't see San.

“Who's racing now?” You ask Felix as the two of you sit on the bed of someone's truck, watching the tires spin and burn while the flag drops and the cars peel off.

“That would be Got7 in the blue car, I think it's Jinyoung driving. And then it's Lucas from NCT in the yellow one.” Felix says, sliding his arm around your shoulder.

Hyunjin walks over to the two of you, hopping up onto the truck beside you, resting his hand on your thigh.

“We're up next. We race against whoever wins this one.” He says. You were nervous, you always felt nervous when they were racing. The chance that there was an accident was really high with how fast they go.

The three of you walked hand in hand towards their group, Got7 had won so they were racing against Jinyoung.

“Be safe.” You sigh, giving both of them a kiss. You link your arm with Chan's as you watch them both walk away. Your eyes scan the crowd, looking at all the people here who were watching, and your eyes landed on someone familiar.

San.

Your body tenses up so much that Chan notices. He looks where you were looking, your eyes locked in with San's.

“It's okay Y/N.” Chan says, rubbing your arm. “We're not going to let anything happen to you.” He smiles. Felix and Hyunjin peel off, the race starts. You knew San was going to be here but it still affected you and you really hadn't thought it would have.

A few minutes later you notice the rest of the guys standing in a half circle, talking to someone. Chan glances over and immediately a grin plastered across his face. “I'll be right back.” He says, pulling his arm from yours and walking over to the others. You stand there alone, peeking over to see a very beautiful girl that they were all talking to. You had no idea who she was but they were all clearly smitten with her. You looked through the crowd again, but didn't see San anymore. You started to calm down a little bit now, feeling like maybe he had left.

Until you feel someone grab your wrist and try to pull you. You look over, seeing San with your wrist in his hand, pulling you towards him.

“Come with me please.” San says, pulling a little harder.

“No. Let go of me.” You say, trying to yank your wrist from his grasp.

“Y/N stop, I just wanna talk.” He says. He starts walking towards the trees, dragging you with him. You turn your head.

“Chan!” You yell. He doesn't hear you. “Chan!” You scream a little louder. He puts up a finger, “just a second, Y/N.” He yells, not even turning around. You didn't have a second.

“I just want to explain!” San grunts. You're getting too close to the trees. Panic sets in. What did you do?

Scream. Scream Y/N.

You let out a loud, ear shattering scream. Chan and the rest of the guys all turn around, looking for you in horror. Chan sees you, San's hand covering your mouth as he drags you into the trees. He, Changbin and Lee Know run towards you, luckily grabbing you before San could get too deep. By the time they reach you, the race is over. Felix and Hyunjin had won, but instead of staying in the car to wait for the next race, they bolted towards the commotion they saw happening with you. They reach you just as Chan pulls you away from San.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Chan yells.

“I just wanted to talk to her!” San yells, defending himself.

“You okay, baby?” Felix asks, giving you a once over.

“How did this happen?” Hyunjin yells. “I thought you were keeping an eye on her!?”

“I was! I was talking to Jennie.. just for a minute.” Chan says.

“I yelled for you! You told me just a second!” You breathe.

Chan hangs his head. “I'm sorry, Y/N. I really didn't think he would try anything.”

“Hyunjin, you go race, I'll stay with Y/N.” Felix says, wrapping his arm around you, taking you away from the group. He had never been more angry at his leader than he was at this moment. The two of you sit there, your head resting on Felix's shoulder. You watched Hyunjin in the car waiting for the race to start. He looks over at you, blowing you a kiss. You grin as you blow one back to him. Felix takes his finger, placing it under your chin, turning your face towards his. He smiles at you before leaning in, placing a tender kiss on your lips. You feel like you're going to melt with the way his lips feel on yours.

He breaks the kiss as he hears the crowd screaming, Hyunjin was racing San. You could feel your anxiety in the pit of your stomach. If San did anything or tried anything, you swore you would kill him.

Hyunjin takes off, you watch as he speeds off leaving San in the dust. You watch intensely where the cars come around the bend for the finish line. You were desperate to see Hyunjin come first. After minutes of waiting, you see him. San closely behind him. Hyunjin switches gears, The car takes off even faster, crossing the finish line well before San. The crowd erupts in cheers. You get off the truck, running towards Hyunjin. You push through the crowd of people and he grabs you, picking you up in a hug, spinning you around. He sets you down, kissing you passionately before the guys come over to celebrate.

“We're going to the club tonight!” Chan yells. “Time to celebrate!” Everyone cheers. You turn around, seeing a defeated San walk towards his group. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.

**

Later that night, you were dressed and ready to head to the club. You were so excited to go and dance with your boys, drink, let loose and have a great time.

“Ready?” Felix asks as he walks into the room.

“Ready.” You smile, walking towards him. He lets out a whistle as he grabs your hand to twirl you around.

“Wow.” He gasps. “Hyunjin.” He yells. “Come here.”

Hyunjin walks into the room wearing a black dress shirt tucked into his black pants, same as Felix and they both looked so fucking good.

“Jesus.” Hyunjin grins. “So sexy.”

You can feel the blush creep across your face as you giggle at the compliments. “Let's go, you two.” You say, grabbing both their hands to drag them out of the room.

“You sure?” Felix asks as you tug him along. “We could just stay home? There's a few things I can think of to do.” He smirks.

“Yeah, it would be a lot more fun.” Hyunjin agrees.

“We're going to celebrate you two. Shush.” You giggle.

The club is packed. You walk in feeling the bass pound through the floors, the smell of sex and sweat fills the air. The three of you make your way to the bar, ordering a few different shots. This felt nice, being out. It felt normal which you loved. After some shots you three made your way to the dance floor. Hyunjin behind you, Felix in front. You hadn't drank in so long that it didn't take very long for the booze to kick in. You stuck out your ass, grinding it onto Hyunjins crotch while Felix was between your legs, his body pressed up against yours. The whole thing was extremely hot, and it made you even hornier than you were to begin with. the feeling of both their hands roaming your body, Hyunjin's breath on the back of your neck, Felix's breath on your ear. You'd let them fuck you right there.

After an hour of dancing, you excused yourself to the bathroom. You could feel your pussy was dripping wet for them and you couldn't wait to get home tonight. You come out of the bathroom, searching for Felix and Hyunjin. You look around and finally see them standing side by side talking to the same girl that had been at the races. You could see her laughing, throwing her head back as she touched both their arms. That pissed you off. You make your way to the bar, sitting on a stool, ordering a drink. You barely notice the man sitting beside you. The bartender sets a drink and a shot beside you. You grab the shot, turning around in your seat to watch your boyfriends with Jennie. You wondered how long it would take for them to notice you hadn't come back yet or if at all. Maybe they were so immersed in the conversation with Jennie they completely forgot they had a girlfriend. You take your shot, setting it down on the bar before grabbing your drink and turning back around again. You're sipping on your drink. And sipping. And sipping. Until you're done and they still haven't noticed. You turn around, ordering another shot and another drink, turning back again to watch them.

You take your shot and before you can turn to grab your drink, there's a man standing in front of you.

“Hello.” He smiles.

“Hi.” You say back staying straight faced.

“Are you here alone?” He asks.

“No.” You deadpan, looking around him to see Hyunjin and Felix.

“I'm talking to you.” He laughs, moving in front of your view.

“And I'm not interested.” You snap, looking up at him.

“Woah, calm down.” He laughs. “Let me buy you a drink?”

“I have a drink.” You sigh.

“Wanna dance?” He asks.

“No.” You say. “Go away please.”

“Ah, just come dance.” He laughs again, grabbing your wrist.

“Bro.” The guy next to you snaps. “She's not fucking interested. Move along.”

“Okay, bro. Is she your girlfriend?” The man asks.

“Doesn't matter if she is or not. She doesn't want to dance, she doesn't want a drink, move the fuck on.” He says, removing his hand from your wrist. The guy scoffs before leaving you alone finally.

“Thank you.” You say looking over at the man who helped you. You squint your eyes, looking a little closer. “Jinyoung?” You ask.

“Yeah?” He responds, looking at you funny.

“You were at the races.” You say. “You raced against Hyunjin and Felix.”

“Yeah I did. Oh! You're their girlfriend. That's right. I remember you.” He says.

“Thank you again for helping me. I appreciate it.” You smile.

“It's no problem. Where are those two anyways?” He asks.

You nod your head in their direction. They were still talking to Jennie and you were fucking annoyed.

“Ah.”

“I've been waiting to see how long it takes for them to notice I haven't come back from the bathroom. And this is embarrassing.” You sigh.

“That sucks. She's such a fucking cunt too.” He laughs. “She puts on a good show of being nice and flirty.”

“I don't want to be jealous. But I am. Cunt or not, they haven't even turned their heads to even peek for me. I'd love to make them jealous.” You laugh.

“Do you wanna dance?” Jinyoung asks. “I'm all for helping out.”

You grin at him as you nod your head. Maybe they won't forget about you to flirt with someone else next time. Jinyoung grabs your hand, pulling you towards the dance floor as you quickly chug your drink. He pulls you past Felix and Hyunjin, you turn your drunk head to smile at them, sticking your tongue out as you get to the front of the dance floor with Jinyoung. In their line of vision perfectly. He places his hands on your waist as you dance with him, moving your hips seductively. You can see the instant anger plastered across both their faces. You weren't sure if it was because you were dancing with another man, or because that man was Jinyoung. You continue to dance, giggling as you stick up your middle finger to them both, making them both slightly laugh. They walk away from Jennie, who turns to watch them, looking offended that they just left in the middle of a conversation.

“Y/N.” Felix says, using his deep voice.

“What?” You ask, still dancing.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“Dancing.”

“Why are you dancing with another man?” Hyunjin asks.

“Why are you two flirting with Jennie?” You ask, now glaring at them both. “I've been out of the bathroom for 45 minutes, watching you two, neither of you wondered where I was?” You scoff.

“Baby..” Felix starts.

“Don't baby me.” You scoff. “Jinyoung here saved me when some creepy man was trying to force me to dance with him. Where were you two?” You slur.

You turn around facing Jinyoung who had been silent the whole time you'd been talking to them. You keep dancing, only for a second before Hyunjin pulls you away from Jinyoung. You turn to look at him, mouthing a ‘thank you’ as you giggle at the angry men guiding you away. He just laughs.

“I don't need help.” You say, pulling your hands away from them.

“I didn't like that.” Felix says as the three of you get outside. “Seeing you with him.”

“I could have beat the shit out of him.” Hyunjin says.

You say nothing, you just keep walking, both men behind you. You can hear them whispering but you can't hear what they're whispering about. Until you're grabbed, and dragged into an alley. You're pinned against the wall as an angry Hyunjin and Felix stare at you.

“Did you like it?” Hyunjin asks. “the feeling of his hands all over your body.”

“Did you feel his cock on your ass as you grinded with him?” Felix asks.

“Yes and yes.” You say, smirking. You wanted to rile them up. You loved it when they were jealous. You push them out of the way, continuing to stumble your way back to the house. You looked down and then back up, and Felix stood in front of you. He swiftly picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. He walks the opposite way you were and sets you down inside a car.

You had forgotten they drove here. Felix slides in the backseat with you. You lay on your back, propping yourself up with your elbows as Felix lays semi on top of you. Hyunjin races to the house.

“I don't ever want to see another guy's hands on you ever again.” He whispers in your ear. Hyunjin pulls up to the house in record time, helping you out of the car as Felix gets out on the other side. Hyunjin pins you against the car.

“You're gonna be in big trouble if you ever do that again.” He says, placing kisses down your neck.

“Am I not in trouble now?” You gasp.

“Oh you are.” Felix smirks.

“Well so are you guys.” You say, walking towards the house.

Once you're inside, Felix slams the front door shut. The house is quiet. Everyone else is still out. You slide off your shoes, walking towards the kitchen. Felix grabs you, turning you around, pressing you against the wall. He smashes his lips to yours, kissing you harshly as he pulls up your dress. Hyunjin comes over to the two of you, peppering kisses over your neck as Felix pulls down your panties.

“After tonight, you're not going to want any other man to touch you.” Felix grunts.

This is what you had desperate been waiting for, and you couldn't fucking wait.

[sl33paholics]

Let's Start The Day Together.

Retsu Kaioh x black!fem reader

Warning(s): mentions of mental health / illnesses (social anxiety n depression), body image issues, social anxiety

I've been having a shitty, exhausting week. I had a huge exam on Tuesday and am now off for the rest of the week until my other exam. Had a health scare, so that wasn't good lol so I wanted to make this writing piece for comfort. This is more of a self-insert, but lowkey made it an "x reader" in case people can relate

It's hot.

You can feel small sweat glands running down your face as you scratch your durag to relieve the itching you had from last night, letting out a huft as you lay on your messy bed trying to get comfortable. You don’t know if it was the fact that you just woke up or if you were going crazy but somehow, this felt like a dream.

You felt sticky.

You were in heat.

You shifted your attention from the ceiling to the small clock on your desk. It was after 1:30 pm.

Your body temperature felt way hotter than normal, especially since you had slept with a sports bra on with your long, baggy ass shorts. Your durag smelled like sweat, and your skin smelled disgusting. You didn’t want to go to work today. But at least the heat was tolerable. You tried to rub away some of the sweat with a shirt that's been sitting on your bed for days, but that only made it worse.

You groaned, sitting up and rubbing your temples. Your head was pounding, making you nauseous.

Taking a good look around your decent-sized spaced room, it was a mess. Sorta. It was a chore to clean up when you have containers filled with unused clothes that you don't bother to wear, boxes of items that you hadn't opened once you moved out those years ago, or even your books that you had yet to read. Your closet looked like there was never an organization to it whatsoever; your bookshelves were mostly empty except for your favorite books. You had no pictures of family that hung anywhere. Everything seemed to be in the same state you left it in.

Why bother to clean? You'd always ask yourself, no one visits. So why would you bother taking care of anything? Maybe you could take a shower. Maybe. Hopefully. You weren't sure what else to do to cool off, besides sleep. You slowly stood up, stretching your arms above your head while yawning. When you finally decided that it was enough to rest for now, you made your way into your bathroom.

At least you took care of your living room. It looks decent if you're ignoring the fact that it took almost a month to finally get off your lazy ass to do something about it. It smells nice and feels nice as if a huge weight got lifted off whenever you step out of your horrid room.

After you did your business, you couldn't help but look at yourself in the mirror. Baggy eyes, stretch marks from your arms to the lower half of your stomach, and your unkempt hair. As if you looked homeless. As if you were lost in a trance, you didn't hear your front door being unlocked and opened by someone who had a spare key. You didn't even realize someone was in your apartment until they walked in.

"Y/N?" a voice called out to you as you shifted your attention to the person behind you, Retsu standing at the doorway with bags in his hand. Restu must've come over here because he wanted to check if everything was okay. "Did you just wake up? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." He'd say, looking away to the side. You couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't used to seeing you in your condition. "I just wanted to make sure you're alright," he finished. His brows furrowed as he stared you dead in the eye. Was Retsu mad at you? That doesn't seem possible, but maybe he was just concerned for you? You shook it off, deciding not to dwell on it too much.

"Yeah," you replied awkwardly, putting your hands in your pockets. "I'm just feeling kind of under the weather right now... but I'll be alright." You trailed off, giving him a smile. As the two of you were settling down, you noticed that Retsu brought groceries and other things you'd need. You knew he was trying to make you feel better, so you appreciated it. You didn't even realize how hungry you were until Retsu mentioned food. How embarrassing, how did I forget about food? You thought, biting your lip sheepishly. It was quiet between you two. The only noise in the apartment was Retsu putting stuff away and making the two of you lunch. Once he was finished, he placed plates in front of you on the coffee table while he sat down across from you. You thanked him.

Silence. What was there to even talk about? You felt bad. Retsu did all this and took time out of his day to come to see you, only for you to not spark up a conversation. You let out a loud sigh. "Y/N." You looked over at him, noticing a soft expression on his face. It seemed to be a mixture of concern and pity. "Something's bothering you."

"Retsu, please..." You began. He held his hand up, stopping you immediately.

"Just tell me what's wrong."

"But-"

"No, Y/N," he interrupted sternly, "I've been texting you for days now. I haven't gotten one reply once. You're not looking too well, what happened? Your co-workers are saying you're not showing up to work either." Retsu would ask again. He was starting to sound annoyed. He leaned back on his chair, crossing his arm.

You sighed, knowing he wouldn't take no for an answer. "Okay. Fine." You looked back at your food, not sure what to say. The silence stretched for what felt like forever before you started speaking up again. "I'm just having one of those moments...y'know? I don't know. I don't think I left this building in a week?" You let out a nervous giggle, but you could tell Retsu wasn't happy with your response. "I don't have anybody who I consider friends that I can hang out with. I have work-friends. Not best friends. They do not acknowledge me outside of that, so I've just been in here in my room." You'd say turning your attention away from Retsu, your eyebrows frowning at what you just said.

Retsu didn't respond. You felt a pang of guilt run through you. He probably thinks you're a loser for talking to him like this. You rambled on how much it was difficult to wake up on time, and if you did, you didn't want to go anywhere for the day. You neglected your hygiene and physical appearance. Going on and on, you felt overwhelmed every time you looked in the mirror. You finally stopped your rant once you felt your throat clogging up and tears running down your face.

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes, hoping to catch them before you cry.

Retsu didn't move or speak for a few seconds, and then you heard him stand up from his seat. Before you could protest, you felt strong arms wrap themselves around you, hugging you tightly. You hugged him back as you felt your breath catch in your throat. "If it makes you feel better... I woke up around one o'clock. Last time, I woke up around six in the evening." You said with a chuckle to lighten up the mood. You let him go, but not before resting your hands on his chest to keep him at arm's length. You could feel your heart racing.

Retsu chuckled. "It does," he admitted. A genuine was spread across your face, the first one you'd smiled in weeks. You wiped at your eyes again before giving Retsu another hug. It was warm. You missed the warmth of him around you. He gave you another pat on your back before pulling away from the hug. He got on one knee before clasping your hand tightly. "I'm glad you told me what's been going on, Y/N." Retsu would say as you noticed his thumb was caressing on top of your hand. "And whatever's bothering you now, I'll do my best to help you." The sincerity in his voice was hard to ignore. You were touched by his words. "I'll stay the night here with you." Retsu would say, standing up again.

"You don't have to, I can take care of myself..." You tried to tell him. Retsu shook his head.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I can't watch over you, y'know." He gave you a reassuring smile as he offered his hand again to help you up. You took it hesitantly, allowing him to pull you up. "Let's leave in a few minutes. Getting fresh air is always good for the body." Retsu suggested.

You agreed easily, still feeling a little bit guilty for not opening up to him sooner. If only you had. But you were happy enough to have a guy like Retsu around to assist you during your roughest times.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

Kill me slowly, Baby you know I don’t fucking mind

warnings: vent fic about illness, mildly graphic depictions/imagery of physical and mental illness

tim drake centric

title: life waster by corpse (don’t look at me ok im embarrassed)

word count: 912

beta read and edited by the lovely @vespertilionis

Do not cry. Do not cry.

That’s all Tim can tell himself as he stiffly walks back to his car. He knows how this is going to go, he’s not too sure why he got his hopes up. He feels like an idiot.

Finally, in the safety of his car, he actually looks down at the referrals he has been given. One for a CT scan and the other for an overabundance of blood tests. He didn’t ask for either. All he wanted was a referral to see an ENT, but the doctor hadn’t even looked at him before she started talking over him and suggesting other ideas.

There’s a few things we can do before you see an ENT. It’s been a year since he started feeling like this. All he wanted was to see a specialist, someone who would know what was wrong.

It’s probably not what you think it is. Probably?

You’re crazy, nothing is wrong with you.

Nothing is wrong.

Nothingiswrongnothingiswrongnothingiswrong

He throws the referrals across the car before slamming his fist into the steering wheel and letting out the loudest scream he could.

It peters off into a sob when he realises he can’t hear anything. Well, anything but a high ringing. He sits there hyperventilating in his own version of silence.

He calls the CT place while driving, desperately trying to sound like he hasn’t been crying. He almost breaks down when the receptionist mentions he had the same test done around this time last year.

As he pulls into the driveway of the manor, he takes a moment to calm down. Firstly, because he doesn’t want to talk about it, and secondly, because he feels guilty for being upset. At least the doctor was running tests. Sure, she didn’t really listen to him and suggested tests for allergies and anemia, which he is sure he didn’t have, but she still decided to do tests. Other people have been sick for years and don’t have doctors listen to them, so he should be grateful.

Maybe she doesn’t think he’s crazy.

He tries not to think about the fact that if the CT scan comes back and shows his sinuses blocked, the doctor might put him on his fourth round of antibiotics. Even after the other three rounds have completely tanked his immune system. Or that if the blood tests show he is anemic, she might focus on that instead of the actual problem. Like the horrible constant congestion that makes him feel like his brain is being compressed into a liquid that’s going to explode out of his ears and nose. Or that if he does have the disease he thinks he does, he might lose his hearing. He really doesn’t want to think about that part.

When he enters the manor, he heads straight for the cave. He’s hoping for the perfectly healthy distraction of vigilantism. His hopes are immediately crushed when Bruce turns to him and asks him how the appointment went.

“Oh, uh, it went ok. We’re redoing some of the tests we did last year,” he says awkwardly, wishing for once Bruce would notice he didn’t want to talk about it. Once again, his wishes go unheard as the older man just looks concerned.

“You don’t seem too happy about that.”

No shit, man, no clue how you got the title of world’s greatest detective.

He tries to push away the resurfacing anger by laughing, but it comes out wrong.

“Yeah well, last time the results didn’t really get us anywhere. So, I was kinda hoping she would try something else.” Another laugh. Bruce nods and turns away. Either he finally got the hint or doesn’t know where to go with Tim’s response.

Relieved that the conversation is finally over, he starts heading to the computer when he hears Jason scoff.

“Ya know what I think you need? Some concrete to harden you up.”

Harden you up. Fucking whiny baby.

Harden you up. Ungrateful child.

Harden you up. Nothings wrong with you Tim, you’re out of your mind.

Tim stops in his tracks and turns his head slowly to face the older boy.

“What?” he says coldly, causing Jason to raise his hands in surrender.

“Hey! I was just joking with you.” he laughs, and Tim’s eye twitches.

“No, explain it to me, so I can understand how it was supposed to be funny.” He can feel the anger rising again. Jason lowers his arms, looking guilty for his ‘joke’, but Tim couldn’t care less.

“I just meant that you complain a lot. It’s kinda miserable.” He answers, sounding defeated, but again Tim couldn’t care less.

“Why do you think that is Jason? Do you think I’m complaining because it’s fun?” “No—“ “No! I’m not! I am fucking miserable! I’m exhausted and dizzy and I feel like my brain is rotting in my skull! And I’m sick of people not listening to me and thinking I’m fucking CRAZY!”

His throat hurts from screaming. He’s hyperventilating again, but he can’t hear it over the sound of the ringing again. It hurts. He shakes his head to try and clear it, but it just makes the world spin around him. A hand reaches out to steady him but he pushes it away.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” God, his voice is always so much louder when his ears are blocked.

He stumbles up the stairs, knowing he’s probably stomping, but he can’t hear that either.

[ashton-sano]

Food Wars! Shokugeki no Souma in: Having a Baker S/o

(Char. Involved: Sōma Yukihira, Akira Hayama, Erina Nakiri, Takumi Aldini)

Sōma Yukihira

-Same old Soma tbh

-Sees you as quite the worthy adversary whether or not you're better than he is

-Always the first one to try your dishes

“C’mon! Lemme have a taste, it looks so good!”

-Biggest supporter honestly 

-It doesn't make him any less likely to make you try his gross dishes though

“Oh don't be a scaredy cat, Just one bite!” 

-At least one food war per day honestly

      -Tiring, to say the least

-I'd like to think he has a sweet tooth so you being a baker is like heaven for him

“Everything is here. The cake is cooling in the fridge, The fondant is rolled and properly colored and the frosting is-'' I pause my listing as I realize the frosting isn't where I left it. “Huh?” Did I misplace it or something? “Could've sworn I left it right here.” I blink twice in an attempt to backtrack from when I had it. “Okay, so I remember grabbing the ingredients from the fridge, then setting them right here,” pointing to the counter as I pull a pout. “Then I brought out the stand mixer and began making it. Afterward, I turned away to put the mixer away but when I turned back I still remember seeing it.” I close my eyes in hopes that’ll jog my memory, “Then I ran to my room to get my molding knives and called Soma in to watch the Strawberry puree boiling.” Wait. I called Soma. “I came back and that's when I don't recall seeing it.” That bastard. “SOMA!” I yell throughout the dorm as I dash to his room in a fit of annoyance. As I made my way past several of my roommates, they each gave a fearful expression and made way for me to get by. I clutch the doorknob, slamming the door wide open as I catch the thief red-handed. He had the spoon halfway in his mouth as the frosting was mostly gone, eyes slightly dilating at my entrance. “Oh, Uh...Hey Y/n.” I glare at him, “Why are you eating my frosting.” He looks anywhere but my gaze as he lets out a nervous chuckle, “It looked good so I took a bit and then a bit turned into a spoonful, and well you see what happened.” I sigh, “Whatever, just know you’re making me dinner for the next month for that.” He smirks, “Why say that like it's a bad thing? I love making food for you, Y/n.” My heart warms at his sentiment, “Yeah yeah.” I make my way to close the door but stop just short to peek my head in, “However, do that again and I’ll make sure the only thing you can eat is frosting.” He drops his smile to replace it with worry at my threat, “Yes ma’am.” I close the door and shake my head, too touched to be truly mad. “He thought it was that good?” I let out a breathy laugh on my way back to the kitchen to remake it, “Stop making me want you to come back to steal my food you idiot.” 

Akira Hayama

-Very proud of you 

-However, he isn't very keen on showing it so you’ll have to be patient

-There are some things you add in that even he doesn't sniff out which is probably the only time he’ll get curious and ask about it

“Making something new? What crazy ingredient did you add this time, hm?”

-May act all mean but he is actually very excited when you come to let him try your food

         -Never call him out though, he’ll always deny it

- “This again? Still hard at work trying to perfect it, are you? Fine ill have a taste.”

-Don't let the facade fool you, he’d hate if you asked anyone else to try your food.

       -Can be a bit childish when it comes to that

“Is it too salty?” He smacks his lips a few times, taking in the flavor. “If anything it's a bit lumpy, kinda dry too.” I scrunch my face, “Odd. Could've sworn I kept the heat low enough. Guess I wasn't paying enough attention.” He tilts his head, “The flavors aren't bad though, honestly pretty perfect if you ask me.” I give a small smile, delighted by his praise. “Sorry to drag you all the way here for this Soma.” He gives a low chuckle, “No problem. I'm always down to taste test, especially your amazing food!” I grab the plate with the crumbs of the cake I had recently made and brought it to the sink, “You do not need to flatter me.” He shakes his head, “No flattery needed. You’re talented, nothing to sugar coat y’know.” I wasn't sure how to respond to such blatant compliments so I settled for a small lopsided grin.  “Thanks, that means a lot. Especially coming from the first seat of the council himself.” A light pink brushed his cheeks, “Now whos doing the flattering? It's nothing to brag about. I do have a lot I must improve on.” His ability to grow never ceases to surprise me, “You have quite the determined spirit, it's admirable.” 

“Yeah, I'm sure he's quite the guy.” 

We both turn to the voice that chimed in, “Ah, Akira, how's it going?” Soma inquires with his usual enthusiasm but the albino doesn't share the sentiment. “Fine. What's happening here?” I don't miss his dismissive tone as he turns himself to me. “Soma was just taste-testing a recent cake I was making.” He narrowed his eyes for a moment, “Well how's that going?” He asked but I'm certain he didn't really want the honest answer to that. “Still need some tweaking, but good overall.” He folds his arms, “Well I'm glad he's been of assistance. Now I think thats enough for today, it's getting late.” Its 6:30… Soma chirps up, “Well i gotta head out, needa prepare some stuff for tomorrow's food war, see ya’!” He waves as he leaves the room, and for a split second, you could see a glint of a smirk on Akira’s face.

“You’re such a jealous child.”

“Shut up.”

“You know I'm right.” He pulls me in, pressing a warm kiss to my forehead, “You don't need him to taste your food. I was here y’know.” I rest on his chest, “You never really seemed interested in tasting my food so I asked Soma since he wasn't busy.” He tightens his grip, “Don't do that again. Just come to me and ill give you feedback.” I give a knowing smile but don't comment on his obvious jealousy, “Well ill keep that in mind.”

Erina Nakiri

-A true sweetheart honestly

-Will 100% help you with your sweets and pastries as the loving girlfriend she is

-Baking dates every weekend is a must

 “Quite the variety you have! All this for just one night?”

-Takes a little more time to judge the taste since she does truly enjoy your food and doesn't want to miss any key flavors

       -Has to take a few tastes to actually take it in and not just judge with her god tongue and all that

“Wow, this is well made! The ganache you used brings a beautiful contrast to the moisture from the cake; well done my dear.”

-Basically, her and Hisako's relationship if they were dating; just very doting and sweet entanglement

 -Loves when you surprise her with your treats after/during a long day

      -Simply brightens her whole day

  (might be ooc)

    The kitchen brimmed with anticipation as I stood beside her as she flour-dusted the countertops, and the sweet scent of vanilla permeated the air. Today, she had invited me to step into her world, to experience the artistry she crafted every day.

I watched with admiration as Y/n effortlessly measured ingredients, their hands moving with precision and grace. Their culinary intuition was a marvel, as they expertly combined flavors and textures to create a symphony of tastes. The kitchen became their canvas, and I was fortunate enough to witness the strokes of their pure genius.

With every task that was to assigned me, Y/n’s patience and guidance enveloped me. They encouraged me to embrace the techniques, trust my instincts, and pour love into each step. Their professional expertise blended with unwavering belief in me, ignited a newfound passion within my heart.

As we worked side by side, I absorbed their knowledge like a sponge. They shared secrets and tricks, while their insights lifted my baking skills to new heights. The boundaries between teacher and student blurred, as our connection deepened and our shared love for the craft blossomed.

The oven hummed, the heat embracing our creations with warmth and anticipation. Together, we carefully placed our masterpieces inside, entrusting them to the alchemy of heat and time. The kitchen transformed into a sanctuary of hope and creativity, where dreams and flavors melded together.

As we waited for our creations to bake, Y/n's presence filled the room with an aura of confidence. They smiled,  eyes gleaming with pride and love. At that moment, I knew that this experience was not just about baking—it was a testament to the beautiful bond we shared.

As the aroma of freshly baked goods filled the air, we opened the oven with eager anticipation. The sight before us took my breath away—golden perfection, a testament to our collaboration and dedication. With a sense of accomplishment, we adorned our creations with delicate touches, transforming them into edible works of art.

Sitting at the table, forks in hand, we tasted the fruits of our labor. Each bite danced on my taste buds, an orchestra of flavors that sang of our love and shared passion. At that moment, I felt the warmth of Y/n’s presence, the fulfillment of our culinary journey, and the sweet taste of a love nurtured by the joy of creation.

Baking with Y/n was more than an adventure in the kitchen—it was a glimpse into her world, a celebration of her talent, and a reminder of the beautiful bond we shared. Together, we wove a tapestry of flavors and emotions, creating a lasting memory that would forever sweeten our lives.

Takumi Aldini

-A tad competitive 

-Will mellow out when you’re practicing your craft though

-Absolutely will stare hard at you (but do not point that out, he will blush and pout)

“N-No! I wasn't staring. I don't know what you’re talking about.”

-Please make him some, will be fussy if you don't let him have what you made

-Will always give you pointers though so never be afraid to ask

    -Especially loves it when you come up to him to ask; makes him feel all bubbly inside And a bit outside too. (Again, don't point it out. Tsun-Tsun.)

I carefully dusted the final touches of powdered sugar onto the delicate pastries, admiring the golden crust and the perfectly piped cream filling. My heart swelled with pride as I surveyed the display of my creations in the bakery. This was my passion, my art—the result of years of dedication and hard work.

Just as I was about to take a step back to fully appreciate the beauty before me, I felt a pair of arms wrapping around my waist. Takumi, my Italian chef boyfriend, nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine.

"Y/n, these look amazing," he murmured, his voice filled with admiration. "But you know, there's something missing."

I turned my head to catch a glimpse of his mischievous smile. "Oh? And what might that be?"

He pouted playfully, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well, you see, I've been craving your sweet treats all day. You can't just tempt me with these delectable pastries and not save a few for your beloved Italian chef."

I couldn't help but chuckle at his theatrics. Takumi had a way of tugging at my heartstrings with his charm and infectious enthusiasm for food.

"All right, all right," I relented, unable to resist his request. "I'll save a couple of pastries just for you. But you better be prepared to savor every bite, Takumi."

He grinned triumphantly, his eyes gleaming with delight. "That's what I like to hear, Y/n. You know just how to make me happy."

As I carefully set aside a small box of pastries reserved exclusively for him, I couldn't help but marvel at the power food had to bring us closer. Our shared love for culinary delights was a bond that we cherished—a language of flavors and textures that spoke volumes in our relationship.

And so, with a secret stash of pastries hidden away, I looked forward to the moment when Takumi would indulge in my sweet creations. Because in those moments, as he savored every bite, I knew that our connection was strengthened, and our love for each other grew sweeter, one dessert at a time.

(This is my first writing piece on this platform so it's not the best but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Never hesitate to make a request and ill make time for it.)

[thebadgerclan]

Brace

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: For months, you'd braced for his death...

A/N: not requested, but I love this idea

It was a miracle he’d survived it.  That was what was whispered on the streets, among the Palace staff, and what was said to you.  And it was true.  It was a miracle that Nikolai had pulled through, that he’d survived the illness that had stricken him for months.  The Healers weren’t quite sure why the King had recovered; maybe it was a combination of the medicines they’d given him, maybe the illness had run its course, or maybe your desperate prayers to the Saints had been heard.

Nikolai wasn’t quite back to full functioning, but he was getting there.  He tired easily and moved slowly, but you saw that spark in him: the spark that made Nikolai Nikolai.  Your husband’s council would be receiving a hefty sum of money soon, they had all but carried the burdens of the Crown while the King was sick, as you had never left his side.  But Nikolai was back, you were back, and Ravka rejoiced.

He found you in your rooms, hunched over a trunk, stuffing something inside.  “Darling?” he said, leaning on the doorframe.  “What are you doing, beautiful?”  You whirled around to face him, kicking the trunk shut as you did.  “What?”  “I said,” your husband replied, slowly making his way further into the room towards you.  “What are you doing, beautiful?  You’re not….going somewhere, are you?”

“No!” you rushed to assure him.  You stood and took his hands, pressing fleeting kisses to his knuckles.  “No, Kolya, I’m not going anywhere.  I’m just…packing some things away.  Things I won’t be needing.”  “Yeah?” your husband said, bringing one hand to cup your cheek.  “You’re not getting rid of those furs I brought back from Fjerda, are you?”  You tried to laugh, but all that came out was a broken sob.

“Y/N?  Love, what’s wrong?”  You kicked the trunk open, letting Nikolai see what lay within.  Gowns, cloaks, boots, shoes, jewels, veils–all in black.  “Y/N, wha–”  “You were so sick,” you said.  “So sick, Nikolai.  For nearly two months, I sat at your side and watched you deteriorate.  The Healers…they did everything they could.  They told me that there wasn’t much hope, Kolya, that there wasn’t much more they could try.

“Your council told me to prepare,” you continued.  “So I…I had a wardrobe made.  A wardrobe befitting a widow.  Because I was told to brace for your death.”  You cried then, and Nikolai pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly.  “Oh, my love,” he whispered.  “I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry that I put you through all of that.”  You buried your head in his chest, fists clutching his shirt, holding on so desperately.  “You didn’t lose me, Y/N, I’m right here.”

“They wanted me to start picking out flowers,” you said, voice flat and numb.  “For your funeral.  They wanted me to pick readings.  Nikolai, I….it came so close.  You came so close to dying.”  He held you tighter, kissing your hairline.  “Y/N, my love, look at me.  There she is, there’s my beauty…”  He cradled your face in his palms like you were something holy, something rare and precious; which to Nikolai, you certainly were.

“I am so sorry that you had to go through that,” he said.  “And I am so sorry that you had to mourn me before I was gone.  But I am here, Y/N.  I am alive, and I am well.  And I’m going to spend the rest of my long, long life loving you and worshiping you.”  And Nikolai kissed you, making you whimper and tears spring to your eyes.  “I love you,” he said.  “I love you, Y/N, I love you so much.  I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Another sob left your throat, but this one was in part from your husband’s declaration, from his affection.  “I love you too, Kolya.  Saints, I love you.”  He held you for another few moments before speaking.  “Do you know what I think you should do with those clothes, my love?”  “Hmm?”  “Burn them.  If someone dies, I’ll make you an entirely new wardrobe.  But not these.  I never want to see you wear them.”

You nodded, resting your head on his shoulder again.  That night, Nikolai had dinner sent to your rooms, where you drank a bottle of wine while feeding your mourning clothes to the fire.  “I knew you were there,” he said a while later.  “While I was sick.  I knew that you were at my side, even when I was delirious.”  Saints, how many times could he make you cry in a day?  “Y-you did?”  “I did, my love.  You were like a beacon calling me to shore.  A tether keeping me from drifting too far.”  You could only nod and send up a prayer of thanks to whatever Saints were listening for saving your Nikolai.

[howlingmoonrise]

Hi! Same anon here! Don't worry I barely sent the ask like a day ago :P

Thank you for giving such a detailed answer! I gotta say, I never considered the Ds to be akin to plants (I did think of them being the chinese equivalent to kamis tho, I think the term was xia?) but I can see what you mean by that, maybe like trees? I like the idea of sentient sacred trees taking on human forms, wouldn’t it be cool if the "real" Tsuki-hime was one of their kind?

In a less serious note, when I read the plant part, my dumb ass brain started to think about Trigun, and Vash as a plant being in his universe with completely opposed ideology to the Ds, the one of unwavering love and faith in humanity despite most humans in Trigun being far worse than any of the literal evil ones in PSOH, and what would happen if they ever met :'D

Also, do you have any theories on why our D was sick and apparently needed a transplant of some sort? Personally I always thought that he may have been born "flawed" either due to their kind's equivalent to genetic degradation on their biology, or alternatively a literal manifestation of the ideals conflict between Sofu D and Papa D? Both?

Sorry if I ask too many questions, I had no idea PSOH had a surviving fandom until the 7seas announcement!!

huh. you know. i was fairly sure the term kami had been mentioned in at least one of the translations but i just checked the last two chapters in both and apparently not? though the el dorado chapter seems to confirm the meaning if not the name when it mentions the touch of a "dying god" and accepts d's blood, at a minimum; i'm not sure if the japanese original text uses the word "kami" either, but it's possible.

anyway, i've been kind of going with the assumption that they're something similar to that - not exactly gods in the western divinity sense, but more like beings of the land. i probably absorbed the term kami in regards to the Ds from fandom, but now that you mention it, it doesn't make all that much sense since he's chinese. the term in question in chinese seems to be "shen" (written with the same character) but it doesn't appear to be an exact equivalent in terms of meaning. i'll have to look more into it!

yeah the plant thing for me comes from several occasions generally associated with d and life/death (as mentioned before, the gattolotto extra, d entering a state of despair, d's blood turning into rare plants when he's running from vesca, d being taken over by plants when falling into despair, the plant core of the papasplosion) and also from the hilarity of leon only ever getting anywhere with a lady if they're plants (as per the flowers and the detective extras) and d lowkey also being one and following this trend 😂 though that latter bit is more the shipper goggles than anything lmfao

BUT!!! MORE IMPORTANTLY!!!! *rubs hands together* you fool! you just activated my trap card when it comes to talking about d's illness and all issues surrounding it! i love discussing this topic and poking fun at the tokyopop translation and putting up a murderboard full of red string for theories!

okay so the first thing you need to know is that the tokyopop translation took some. liberties. and is not entirely accurate. they seem to paint papa as far more of a villain and sofu as far more of a saint than they are, for one, and an important implication about d's health kinda goes in the wrong direction based on this. as such, if you only read the tp translation, you may be caught off-guard by some of what i'll say below.

once again under the cut because i'm a rambler!

things we know about d's illness:

needs sugar to keep from getting faint/dizzy

extremely low endurance at times (which makes leon think that he might have a heart condition) that either triggers or is triggered by his illness, as per the dragon chapter

may or may not be related to his eye (either as a symptom or a cause)

some sort of pain attack is involved? in the donor chapter we see him hover his hand in front of his throat, though it might be while it's in motion to go elsewhere, such as his heart (the dragon chapter has both the highlights near the throat, but the hand placed by his heart/lungs)

papa mentions to the pseudo-sister that d's body was "born incomplete" - whether this is true, he thought it was true (more on this below), or it was a simplification for her sake (as she had the mentality of a child) is not clear

d apparently is lacking several things, or they are in the process of failing (also as per the donor chapter). THAT BEING SAID, there is an interesting point here

needs sugar to keep from getting faint/dizzy

may or may not be associated with his eye

some sort of pain attack is involved? in the donor chapter we see him hover his hand in front of his throat

the illness has been present for at least several years, presumably for as long as d can remember (though not necessarily from birth; more on this later)

papa has been studying and trying to cure this illness also for years

after d drinks a "medicine" processed from the orangutan hybrid's body the symptoms seem to stop - i'm pointing this out as more of a curiosity thing, because on other occasions d couldn't as much as eat fish flakes without some ominous remarks about his bloodlust almost awakening again or something of the sort (you'll excuse me if i don't go looking for this particular quote right now)

papa mentions to the pseudo-sister that d's body was "born incomplete" - whether this is true, he thought it was true (more on this below), or it was a simplification for her sake (as she had the mentality of a child) is not clear

d's body had several things apparently lacking or in the process of failing (also as per the donor chapter). THAT BEING SAID, there is an interesting point here

this post from one of tumblr user @chaikat's psoh liveblogging japanese translation notes (several of which you'll see me mention at other times in this post because the info in there is just THAT crunchy) points out the following:

When Nue Erh says she’ll give D what he lacks, the part where she says “my eyes” in the eng version is actually specifically “this eye” in the jp version.

keep this quote in mind for a bit!

and now, back to the revelations of the final chapters!

aka, the panels that give me fucking brainworms:

uh??? hello??? one could understand that endless asexual reproduction of the same being through centuries would eventually result in mutations, and in fact it was under this assumption that i laboured when i first read psoh, but this conversation points to a different cause entirely, originating from sofu's interference.

doesn't help that the tokyopop version is wildly different, too:

tokyopop's version doesn't seem have anything to do with either d's illness or eye whatsoever, alas 😬 and considering several of their past instances of mistranslations and ad-libbing on this manga, i'm far less likely to believe their version of events.

another detail i didn't notice on my first go-arounds: the fact that the first words sofu d says in response to papa's accusation imply that the undertaking of q-chan's form took a sacrifice, and that this is related to d's eye. it took me this other translation notes liveblog post to realize that the two things were connected, since there's an entire other page with side-comments in the middle breaking up the dialogue flow.

ANOTHER most excellent thing that chaikat's commentary brings up and that i haven't seen on either translation is that sofu specifically mentions using the eye, or the term yorishiro:

(small text above Grandpa D): I borrowed one eye for the yorishiro.

i cannot claim to be even remotely close to an expert on shintoism, so here's a quote from wikipedia (which might or might not be correct) regarding yorishiro:

Yorishiro were conceived to attract the kami and then give them a physical space to occupy to make them accessible to human beings for ceremonies

i'm not sure if sofu d used it as this exact purpose, or if there's any sort of tradition in manga to lend it a slightly different meaning (jshk for example uses it as an artifact that stores the powers of the being connected to it, and something similar to this would make some sense to me here since he's shifting into a different form and putting his powers/presence away). either way, sofu has definitely used at least a portion of d's body for his own purposes without consent, so we cannot discard him using more.

*puts tinfoil hat on* it is at this point i bring up our precious orangutan sister's words again! she's listing the things she was made to replace in d's body, with the specificity of one singular eye. coincidence? i think not! i'm not entirely sure i agree that she means the left eye as considered in chaikat's post, but as an exercise let's think up the motivations for both possibilities:

replacing the left eye (purple, papa's colour): implies that the eye that was interfered with by sofu has bypassed the illness, and d's original one remains imperfect and bound to deteriorate; implies also that papa/sister know that the right eye is not a concern when it comes to d's health situation, which does track with papa's later accusation

replacing the right eye (gold, sofu's colour): implies that something is wrong with that eye, in ways that go far beyond the bounds of d's illness, since the original one would be okay to leave as-is; since papa is aware that the gold eye was caused by sofu, it would make sense to want to replace it due to both his resentment for sofu and concern for d

it is also worth mentioning that sofu never seems to have devoted any time to trying to cure d's illness, unlike papa (who was deemed incapable of raising a child by sofu, which may or may not be true), and that his reaction to the death of both his son and stray animals in a forest fire is to not even blink twice.

sofu having removed d from papa's care, mixed with d having mismatched eyes as a child under sofu's care, and the fact that we don't really see a mention of q-chan being around at that time make me poke interestedly at sofu d - because even if you buy that he *checks notes* only traded his grandson's eye to turn into a tiny cute creature in order to keep an eye (heh) on him, that doesn't really... track with the timeline of when he actually left d alone and had cause to become q-chan? which makes me wonder what sofu's actual use for the eye was, since he presumably had it since d was around-ish maybe five years old. (remember me saying "for as long as d can remember, though not necessarily from birth"? yeah.)

does this mean that he caused the illness? probably not, but fun to think about in connection to everything else! especially because the main point i'd expect d to ask when papa mentions the mutations/changes resulting from the inumerous replications of the d line would be his ?now-cured? illness, but what he does actually ask about is his eyes, despite papa and sofu - supposedly perfect clones - also having eyes that differ from the other (papa's being purple, sofu's being gold). one would think the illness would be the priority, but no! unless the two things are connected, and-- *continues to add red string to the murderboard*

anyway this is the theory i find the most fun to play with!

slightly less unhinged ones would probably be just. you know. normal replication mutations and genetic degeneration and stuff? or if you go with the tokyopop translations and i remember correctly, there are some implications that papa experimented on d before sofu took him away, but take that with a grain of salt. another thing that comes to mind is also the alice/daughter chapter, where after several generations the resulting rabbits were killed by the sugar and stuff consumed by the original generation - it could also be something like that, because since they're clones their bodies wouldn't have changed to adapt to the times, different foods, different air quality, etc, which would translate into poison for the newest generations.

i hope i didn't go too far down the theory rabbit hole, oops! 😂

[cassidyafton]

M.I.A: Chapter 3

Summary: Tired as she is of the whole "being the only person to realize someone is in danger" schtick, when Trinity Bales's parents disappear the night after her rescue mission, she once again takes on the role of the rescuer in hopes that she and her appointed "rescue squad" can get to the bottom of the mystery of her parents' absence before whatever's taken them from her can have its way.

Chapter summary: The fallout begins the next day at school.

Content warnings: Illness, harm to children, potential medical inaccuracies

"Are we just gonna pretend Delroy's been here the whole time?"

Trinity shrugged, leaning back on one of the clubroom's counters as Enzo reached behind them to grab a cookie from the tin on the counter. "He sits with you guys at lunch sometimes. It's not that different."

"Yeah," Maritza took a sip from her bottle of lemonade- a funny choice for how late in the fall it was, but that had been what the Esposito siblings had brought for their little hangout, along with sugar free alternatives for Trinity herself, so she couldn't complain- and rolled her eyes. "Because none of us have anywhere else to sit."

"You could sit with me," Nicky mumbled. "Wouldn't kill you."

"With you?" Maritza gasped dramatically and faked choking at the thought, but Nicky didn't laugh- that was becoming the usual. Maritza chuckled instead, but she didn't seem too confident as much as she did like she was trying to convince Nicky to at least smile.

He didn't.

"And anyway, Delroy was my backup when you and Enzo were out at the house," Trinity continued. "He agreed to help, so I don't see the big deal."

"The big deal is that he's an asshole," Nicky grumbled. "Why'd you even ask him?"

"Nicky, I know like six people and you guys are five of them. It was him or Finch, and I was not going to ask Finch."

She reached behind her and grabbed a couple more cookies, nearly bumping straight into Enzo's arm as she did- Oreo-like sandwich cookies had been the only sugar free option that the store had, according to Enzo, so to not make her feel left out, he and Maritza had bought Oreos for everyone else. She was familiar with the brand they'd bought, though she noticed now that the cookies were a little less sweet than usual, lacking the licoricey aftertaste she had come to associate with them. That was fine with her, though- the more unpleasant aspects of those foods had been a fair trade in her eyes for the ability to keep eating sweet foods after she had gotten sick.

"So, we've got a suspect now, thanks to Maritza and Enzo, and two potential locations- the Peterson house and the amusement park." She took a bite of her cookie- she hadn't noticed until now how hungry she was. "But the thing is, I don't want any more investigations happening that I'm not part of. So we need to devise a plan. Some way to outsmart them."

"And we aren't telling the police about this one, why?" Ivan asked as she finished her cookie, voice and expression as meek as Trinity had come to expect of him. Always a shy kid. She grabbed another cookie from behind her.

"I did. The police haven't done anything. They haven't even talked to me about it. And y'know what's weird about that?" She cleared her throat. God, when did her throat get so dry?  She needed some water. Had she even had anything to eat or drink before she came to school? "Guess which cop they put on the case."

"No way." Enzo's eyes widened. "Kornwell?!"

"Kornwell!" Trinity repeated. "They put Officer Kornwell on the case, and I guess he's just been sitting around with his thumb up his-" she cleared her throat again. "Sorry. Point is, he's clearly not worried about what happened to my mom and dad, so someone has to be."

"That creepy crow thing seems to be plenty worried about it," Nicky added.

"Which is all the more reason we need to worry!" Trinity coughed. "Sorry. Sorry. My throat's really dry right now." It came out almost defensively, and she wasn't totally sure why. "But we need to worry about my parents because that thing is also worried about them." She took a sip of her lemonade. "This is serious. It's not just another mystery. People are in danger. So we handle this like we handled Peterson."

"It's gonna be a lot harder when we don't even know who we're following..." Ivan chimed in again, voice shaky.

"We'll be fine. We've got each other's backs, after all. Besides, there's no reason to be scared! You're plenty brave."

"I... I am?"

"Psh- no." Maritza rolled her eyes. "She's just hyping you up to get her to do what she wants."

"Oh."

"You guys." Trinity sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Another sip of lemonade would probably stave off the headache that was starting to form. "We needed every one of us last time. Whatever's going on now, it's all hands on deck." She held her hand out.

Maritza's expression briefly turned to sympathetic concern as she eyed Trinity's hand. "Dude, you're shaking."

"I'm fine." Trinity shook her head. "It's not important. What's important is if you're in or out."

Enzo put his hand in on top of Trinity's, gently cupping the back of her palm like he was going to guard her and not the other way around. "I'm in. Ivan? Nicky?"

"This feels like a wrong turn." Nicky frowned. "Someone's going to get hurt."

Trinity shook her head. "I'm not going to steer you guys wrong. But if we don't do this, someone will get hurt."

Nicky leaned back, but Ivan reached forward and put his hand in. Delroy shrugged and did the same.

"Maritza, it's on you. Are you really gonna quit a game before it's over?"

"I'm with Nicky, this is a dumb idea." She scoffed, but before Trinity could open her mouth to defend it, she put her hand in. "But I'm not a quitter. Let's go for it."

"Yes!" Trinity pumped her free hand. "Inventor's club on three. One, two, three-"

"Inventor's club!" The cheer echoed through the room as they raised their hands. But when she looked back at Nicky, he somehow looked even more exhausted than before. She briefly wondered if this was something he would've done with the rest of the club before what happened with Mr. Peterson- before she even came to Raven Brooks. She took a step back, reaching again for her lemonade, and stumbled over herself, barely catching her balance on the counter.

Everyone was looking at her weird when she looked back up.

"Jeez, girl!" Maritza cried. "Are you okay or are you not?"

"I'm fine," Trinity repeated, though it was a bit of a struggle to catch her breath. "I'll be fine. There's more important things going on right now. Besides, I'll be fine by the time of the meeting this afternoon- then we can start discussing plans. Delroy, you joining us for the meeting?"

Delroy shrugged. "Might as well, if I'm gonna be helping out."

"Then we'll plan on it. I'll see you all at lunch?"

"That sounds like a good cue to leave."

The kids jumped- through what felt like a sudden jolt of shock to Trinity's brain, she could make that out- and she directed her focus to the clubroom door, where Mr. Murtaugh, creepy guy that he was, was poking his head in. Were it not for the fact that she had him for science, and he seemed at least decently well-adjusted, if a bit eccentric, she might be suspecting him to be behind something like this.

"Class is starting soon," he continued, sporting his same gummy smile as usual. "I wouldn't want you kids to be late."

"Right." Trinity nodded slowly. "Thanks, Mr. Murtaugh."

Taking that cue, she headed for the door slowly, as to keep her balance- she didn't need the others looking at her like that again, like she was incapable or weak in some way. She hardly paid attention to the counter they'd left a mess, or the tin of cookies that'd gotten knocked over. She chuckled to herself, though, wondering if any of the others had noticed that they must've been getting into her sugar free cookies.

Maybe this sickness would go away by the time of the actual club meeting.

-

"Trinity!"

Trinity jumped a bit- another jolt of shock to the brain that seemed to make her vision go blurry- as Enzo approached her. "Enzo, hey."

"Where were you at lunch?" Enzo asked, his expression that same one of sympathy and worry that it'd been when she'd fallen in the clubroom that morning.

"I'm fine," Trinity responded. Only after she said it did she process that it wasn't an answer to his question. The truth was, she'd spent most of that lunch period pacing between the halls and the first floor girls' bathroom, fighting off a persistent dizziness and the urge to vomit. She didn't want to admit that, though- so maybe the situation was getting to her, but her friends didn't need to know that.

"We were worried about you," Enzo pressed.

"I said I'm fine, Enzo," she repeated as she sped up a little bit, nearly stumbling over herself again as the dizziness hit her again with a vengeance. "Look, I appreciate your concern, but I'm alright, really. We've got more important things to worry about, anyway."

She reached for the clubroom door, hoping Enzo would ignore the way she struggled to get a grip on the handle. 

"Anyway, I was thinking during class, and we've got a few ways we can go about this. Once everyone else is here, I'll go over it."

"Ah, Trinity, Enzo, there you are."

Trinity recoiled again, her vision more than beginning to blur from the shock, as her focus struggled to fix on the source of the voice. She reached out and leaned against the chalkboard on the wall for balance.

"Principal Abanante?" Her brow furrowed. "What are you doing here?"

Abanante clasped her hands together and smiled. "I overheard some of the conversation this morning, and I just thought I'd step in and make sure everything we're doing is, well, legal. Things we would want to be encouraging at the middle school."

Trinity clutched her forehead with her free hand and squeezed her eyes shut, briefly removing her other hand from the chalkboard to pull the purple cardigan she'd worn today over her chest. "Look, I- I understand, but now isn't a good time. Can we talk about this later? Please?"

"Well, my dear, I'm worried this is a more pressing matter than you might want me to think it is. I know you kids are wound up after what happened with Mr. Peterson, but it's important that we don't cloud our judgements with fantasies. I'd hate to have you sneaking around harassing some poor sap who hasn't really done anything wrong in hopes of solving another mystery."

"It's not-"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Enzo asked.

"No! I mean- yes, I'm..."

"-Fine?" Maritza finished. Trinity could hear her voice drawing nearer. "You don't look fine."

"No, I... I am, I just-"

She stopped abruptly, swallowing back the acid rising in her throat, and opened her eyes. She was shaking again, so nauseous she could barely stand up. And there it was- everyone was looking at her like that again. 

"I think it's just stress." Abanante smiled sympathetically and tilted her head just like that goddamn crow had done. Her stomach turned. This was wrong, this was all really wrong. "How did you sleep last night? I'm sure things have been hard these past few days with your family."

"What did you do?" Trinity choked out, unable to help herself. Her voice was weak from pain, and that only made everyone else's pity worse. "What did you do to my parents?"

"I think you need some rest, Trinity. I'll take you to the nurse's office."

"No, no- no-"

She couldn't form any more words than that. As Abanante reached for her, her attempt to pull back became a jolt in her arms and a buckling in her knees. She felt her head hit the chalkboard before she recognized she'd been falling. She heard the others' confused cries before she realized anything was wrong.

The sugar-free cookie tin was the one that was knocked over.

All she knew was that she couldn't see anymore.

[baffledandbewildered]

[dismp] where is home for you?

Home doesn't have to be a place, right?

She’s not sure of the first time she tells her teammates she loves them. It’s after the Gameshow, certainly - she hopes it’s been obvious, that she cares, that she loves them, but… the weeks directly before the Gameshow had been - strained. Hesitant.

Sin knows. Sin’s always known how much Betty loves him.

I want you to kill me. I want it to be you over anyone else. She hadn’t been able to say her love out loud back then - that was the closest she could get. 

Deli’s more complicated - Betty adores her. But it’s difficult - different. Betty’s still learning how to be around people, still learning what to say and what not to say - it’s easier with Sin, Sin who reached out to her when she was alone on a snowy mountain in the first weeks of the server, who helped her and gave her stuff when she couldn’t even speak - 

With Deli she feels - she has to prove it. But that makes her worried she’s going to mess up and she doesn’t want to do that - she cares so much, worries so much, she sometimes stays quiet when she shouldn’t.

An example of this: a few hours after her first and second deaths, her communicator buzzes with a message.

deli: guys. be honest with me, am I about to have two team christmas dinners?

sin: we’re not having 2 dinners im the only one that provides for this team anyway 

sin: im not cooking twice

betty: okay so cog thinks that the reason sin killed me is for the tnt minecarts

betty: this is also why it killed me :/

betty: we're going with that narrative

betty: but like. ambiguously

betty: but yeah my relationship with sunset rn is officially Weird

Betty doesn’t think about how that sounds - she assumes Deli will put the pieces together, realise Betty isn’t anywhere near as upset as she’s claiming in places where others can see, thinks she’s said enough -

She only realises afterwards how little she explained. But by now Blue has joined their team and she wants to trust Blue, she wants that so bad, but they can’t risk it right now and explaining to Deli but not Blue seems wrong so she keeps her mouth shut.

Sunset is a good team - she reminds herself of this time and time again. They are a good team even with Betty acting distant, playing up her worry and confusion and pretending -

She’s not good at it, she thinks - she’s never thought she was a good actor, but no one’s calling her out on it so… might as well go along with it, right?

She hates it she hates everything about it - after she first died, she met Princess on the roof and they were so worried about her and she didn’t - she doesn’t want to lie to Friendship and the guilt over that is awful - when they met again at the parkour and Princess and Nara are so worried about her and this is - this is wrong they’re supposed to be allies but now they’re acting like they hate Sin -

“I don’t think I can - realistically act like I hate you,” Sin had said, when they first talked about it.

“I don’t think I can either,” Betty had admitted, laughing. “But it’s fine - I doubt anyone will believe us, right?”

She never should have come up with this plan - sometimes, when she’s alone, a litany of my fault my fault my fault my fault starts up in her head and it just won’t stop. She can’t even - she can’t even complain, not really, because this was her idea but - it hurts. She misses them.

Even Blue, who she’s never really known. Sure, she knows of them - they’re one of the first people on the server she’s ever spoken to, at the ill-fated Couples Connect Four… she remembers when they got banned - it was the same day she and Sin invited Deli to the team.

She feels sorry for them, a little. Being banned sounds - terrifying. There’s a hauntedness in their eye that all the wry words can’t hide. 

And. Well. Betty feels awful, because Blue is so gentle with her. They want her to be safe, they say. They ask if she’s still on the team - they don’t press, they ask if she’s going to be safe if she stays, they don’t want Sin to kill her again -

It’s so, so difficult to keep lying. They seem hesitant about joining the team now - curiosity warring with caution and some other emotion she cannot name.

When they part after meeting on the nether roof the realisation twists in her chest, an aching, stabbing pain.

Sunset should have been a new start for Blue, and Betty’s stupid stupid plan fucked that up. But everyone blames Sin and not her, and though Sin claims not to care it doesn’t help - it’s wrong, because it is Betty’s fault because it was her idea.

The guilt of it makes her have to stop, sit, press her hands against flat bedrock. Try not to start crying - she’s gotten better at hiding her feelings the last few weeks but she’s still not perfect and her breath catches in her lungs. She doesn’t - she wants out but there is no way out not yet and -

She hates this, but she hates herself more.

And things don’t really get better.

When Chips asks to talk at spawn a few hours before Blue and Leoo’s wedding, she is hesitant. Blue and Chips are… strange, she knows - Blue’s told her a little about it, not much, but enough to know there’s enmity between them, and Blue is… Betty’s teammate, even if things are weird. It’s probably not a good thing that Chips wants to talk to her.

Betty still shows up.

Chips has a mace in one hand and wind-charges in the other, and - well. Betty’s not surprised when Chips hits her the first time, though she wishes she managed to dodge - fuck that thing hurts. 

She doesn’t run, though. She finds out that Chips - Chips talked herself out of killing her, because she pitied Betty, because Betty’s alone so maybe the lies had been worth it - except if she’d still been openly with Sunset Chips probably wouldn’t have even tried, because Chips at least claims to still care about Sin - 

It seems the thing that saved her is the same as what put her in danger.

Nonetheless. Chips threatens her again - she runs. She survives.

It’s fine.

This is fine.

How do things keep getting worse?

Talking with Sin helps. She hates the distance of it, lying on her side in a dark room, holding her communicator close to her face and typing messages with shaking fingers - she can’t see him, not face to face, not right now - there are far too many risks with being spotted together. Her body aches with loneliness, but the scar from her first death is a comforting heat in her chest as the two of them share info and plan and just talk. 

They talk about - everything, anything, and occasionally Sin says something that’s so amazingly possessive and Betty blushes up to her ears, has to hug her communicator to her chest for a moment before writing out a reply.

She’s Sin’s. Completely, irrevocably, hers. Betty has never had anyone treat her that way before, and maybe it’s a little fucked up when Sin says “I’m the only person who’s allowed to have your hearts”, or Betty thinks to herself “I really want you to kill me again” - she can’t bring herself say those thoughts out loud, at first, blushing too hard to even try, but she gets better at it over time.

Sin helps her with a lot of things. She’s his, after all. Possession and care intermingle, intertwine, and the knowledge that he’s there, even if far away - it’s good.

They don’t really have an endgame for this, don’t have a set point where they say - this was enough, this was worth it, we can stop lying - she wishes they did. She loves them, she loves her teammates so much and she can’t say it, not now, not for a long while - it hurts to lie, to pretend to be scared, it hurts to be alone because really she is alone, she’s so alone…

She still keeps going, though. People talk to her more, now - she’s less of a threat, people are curious - she gets help from unexpected places, from people she’s been told to avoid. It’s interesting. Fun, sometimes. It’s not worth the deception, though, so she keeps going.

One day, she falls into a room full of signs under spawn. It’s quite obvious who they belong to, and the writing is so painfully familiar… Betty already has her communicator in hand and is messaging the Sunset groupchat.

Can we - set up an event or something? To get him a team?

Blue suggests the Bachelor - none of them have ever watched the original but they manage to set something up - Blue is adamant on it being done the next day so they’ve got a lot to do in a very short space of time - it’s only many, many weeks after that she finally realises why Blue wanted it to happen before Void’s Gameshow - 

It’s fun. They haven’t had much chance to work together as a team, not the four of them - it’s her own fault, she can’t complain too much. But this is good - it makes her realise what they can be.

She loves being able to be around them this much. It won’t last long - the Gameshow is tomorrow and after that she’s going to have to be distant again but that’s fine. She can have them for now.

Except for now doesn’t last long at all. The next day they are betrayed by Blue, ten death messages filling her communicator and a missing heart in her chest as she stares at her communicator in the cold stone room that is her respawn point.

It hurts because Blue was kind and fun and - Betty felt awful for lying to them for so long and then none of it meant anything -

She takes a deep breath, messages her - remaining - teammates. Deli logs out only a few minutes later, but Sin stays. 

Betty runs back to their base - it’s the first time she’s been here in weeks, and maybe she shouldn’t be here but - she wants to be. She doesn’t want to be alone.

They never told Blue about this place. She’s glad of that now.

Sin’s already there, and seeing him - gods she wishes it could be under better circumstances. But it still feels like safety, and she doesn’t think twice before running over and hugging him tightly.

They don’t talk much, just. Stay in each other’s company for a while. It’s late - they’re both tired, and eventually they end up curled together in a corner of the room, Sin’s wings draped over them like she can protect Betty from the world.

After a little while, Betty says something that’s been weighing on her mind. “I don’t think Deli knows. About me and you.”

“Yeah. I don’t think she does.”

“We need to talk. Soon. About all this - Blue. But also. I feel bad - you let me explain and I didn’t.”

“You said what you could. I thought it was enough too.”

“Mhmm. I still feel bad.”

Sin doesn’t say anything, just holds her closer.

And eventually it is morning, and Betty has to leave, and it’s even more agonising than all the times before - she misses Sin, she misses Deli, she misses her team so much -

Later that day, she meets Blue on the nether roof. They talk briefly. Blue claims they didn’t lie to Sunset - Betty disagrees, but struggles to think of an example to fight back with.

It’s only after Blue leaves that she remembers a conversation not too long ago, both of them sitting in boats staring at the ocean temple.

“Cog thinks I’m working with Legion,” Blue had said, or something along those lines. “I - I wouldn’t do that, I wouldn’t - Void banned me, Betty, he banned me - you believe me, right?”

Betty had. Betty had. She’d believed, and now the thought makes her want to scream. She’d believed them. 

And now the two most important people in her life are hurting - she saw Deli, briefly, earlier in the day, and she’d never looked so… lost. Broken. 

Betty has never wanted to kill someone more than Blue.

But she can’t. So she continues with her work, and eventually it’s time for Sunset to meet - it’s the first time all three of them have been alone together for a while.

They leave the base, go out into the cave where Sin killed Betty for the first time. 

She stares at the spot for a long moment - the blood is long since gone, but the memories haunt her regardless.

Betty is glad it was Sin who took her first life, her first heart. That’s never changed. That’s never going to change. But she does regret the lying.

So they talk.

Honesty is difficult - the guilt of it hurts, and she apologises more than she speaks but Deli takes her hand and tells her it’s okay and Betty doesn’t deserve her, at all.

Especially when there’s still something she’s keeping from them, a thought hovering at the back of her mind from her conversation with Blue yesterday.

She can’t stay on the team. She loves them, she wants to stay, she is so tired of the loneliness, but… it’s still not been worth the deception yet, they can’t risk people suspecting any more than they already do - she’s got to find some sort of benefit from this.

The next day, she messages their groupchat. It’s a coward’s way of telling them, maybe, but she can’t bring herself to say the words out loud.

Neither of her teammates like it, but they don’t argue. She’s glad of that. Then it’s a simple matter of telling the rest of the server, and… done.

Being teamless is a new level of hell, though. Betty thought she knew what loneliness felt like. She thought - after her first two deaths, within a few hours of each other, she thought - this whole thing sucked, lying hurts but she was. She was coping. She was lonely, and she was lying to everyone, but she was - she had Sin, and she had Deli, and Blue, and - even if they didn’t know at least they were there.

This is different. It aches, so badly, and she’d like to say it’s just the after-effects of the arrow cannon but she knows what death feels like now and this isn’t it. This is - duller, spread throughout her entire body.

She misses them. She misses being around them, calling them her teammates, she misses -

It’s her fault. It was her idea. She can’t complain too much.

And she still has them, as she works on a maze for Blue, a book left at the centre - Sin and Deli can’t ever see this place, know where it is, but regardless she takes pictures and gets advice for her words and -

It’s probably around here when she first says I love you to her teammates. Being truthful is - it’s better. She no longer feels like she’s walking on eggshells around Deli, she can be honest and it’s - it’s good. And the words don’t even - register, at first - it’s easier to say, now, even if she still stumbles over saying it. She loves them both. It doesn’t make things any easier.

Betty keeps on moving. When Leoo tells her Cog thinks she’s working with Chips she's terrified - she later finds this information was false, Cog didn’t actually think this, but at the time it made her heart stutter with horror - but bites her lip and messages Chips asking to talk anyway.

The last time she saw Chips, they tried to kill her. Betty doesn’t particularly want a repeat - even if Chips claims they’re not like that anymore, it’s… scary to be around them.

They talk. It goes okay, even if Chips expects honesty from her that Betty isn’t willing to share - it goes alright. 

And later in the day Betty manages to speak to Evi4 and Pollocks and convince them to an alliance, which is even better - she isn’t lying, when she tells them she’s lonely. That she wants people she can safely spend time with. It’s not the same as a team but it’s - good.

She ends up talking a lot. To a lot of people. Leoo was right - she’s one of a very short list of people who’ve openly antagonised Pathogen. It put a target on her back, but also… it’s helpful, she thinks. She doesn’t lose anything by admitting her intentions. Sin calls it networking. It’s kinda right.

It’s not the most effective. Most people are too scared or too wrapped up in their own issues.

She writes Deli a book, at one point. It’s an apology and a promise at once - I’m sorry for lying. I’m sorry for being a coward. I promise I care for you. I promise I trust you.

Betty is. Not great. At showing her affection. But it means something that she’s trying, she hopes.

Deli’s named herself mayor, now. Built herself an office just before the Gameshow with Chips at her side. It stings a little, that Chips gets to hang out with Betty’s teammates and Betty doesn’t but - this is just consequences of her decisions. She can cope.

And Betty’s happy for Deli - it’s a funny idea. A few days after she officially leaves Sunset, she sneaks into the mayor’s office and giggles over the plans for anti-social behaviour orders for Pathogen and a hamster wheel for Evi4. 

She shouldn’t stay too long, probably, but lingers regardless. She spends a lot of time at spawn, but being here in particular feels wrong - it feels like a happy, fun, place, but… the ache sharpens into a stabbing pain when she thinks too much about her team, so she turns and leaves.

Over the next few weeks, things… start looking up? She gets a few new relationships, strengthens some old ones - it’s… good. Things are scary - always something going wrong, someone to help, conversations that bring her to tears, but… she’s coping. She’s… getting better.

Sin and Nara want to renew their vows, and it’s a risk but - Sin asks her to come along anyway. So she does - and it’s fun! Sin and Nara are good to each other - it’s nice to see two of her favourite people be happy together. To be among people who know, to be around her teammates without having to pretend…

She’s glad more people know now.

It’s nice, having allies. A group of people to lean on. 

It’s not the same.

It maybe makes the loneliness worse.

But regardless. She leaves. Goes back to pretending. Goes back to her projects and her plans and waits anxiously for the day something happens.

Something has to break at some point. The catalyst just so happens to be Cogmented, who wants a conversation with Betty and Ace - he calls it a date, but none of the three of them leave that place happy.

The world is going to end. 

That’s - abstractly, something she’s always known. But never with such stunning immediacy - it paralyses her if she thinks about it too much.

It’s easier to be angry, but Betty is bad at anger. When Ace leaves, she talks to Evi, they think of a few plans… and Betty asks Sin to talk.

Two days later, Betty and Sin meet in a trial chamber. Betty chose the location for a reason - it was the first activity they did as a trio, soon after Deli joined the team.

The first thing Betty says is “I missed you.”

She wishes she could say something more. Something closer to the terrifying, incredible emotions tangled up in her chest - words will always be inadequate. She thinks Sin understands anyway.

“This really wasn’t our best plan, was it?” Betty says haltingly.

“It really wasn’t.”

“I didn’t think anyone would believe us.”

“I know,” Sin says, and it sounds pained.

“I want to tell people. I want to stop pretending. I just - I miss you.”

“Okay. Yeah. Me too.”

They spend a little while trying to work out how. It has to be - at least a little dramatic. It has to be a good ending - three months of deception can’t end with something meaningless. 

They’re both pacing the room when Sin stops and says: “How about proposal via mace name?”

Betty spins around, already laughing - “Wait. Wait.”

She’s asked Sin to kill her again before - so what, dying can be fun sometimes, Betty likes it, especially when it’s at the hands of a person she loves. And - well, Sin’s mentioned the Sunset marriage idea before, briefly, and Betty said yes in a heartbeat and she’d do it again - she giggles, can’t really stop as they rename the mace and find a better room.

She dies in one hit, and respawns with a stunning headache, down a heart and the biggest grin on her face as the confused chat messages start rolling in. 

It’s not the most world-changing way to reveal three months of deception. It’s good enough for her.

Later, Sunset will meet at their base. It’s not much of a home, really, a single room and some farms, but they make do. Sin will wipe the blood from Betty’s forehead and examine her horns for cracks and Betty will giggle and say she’s fine, everything is fine. Deli will press her for gossip she’s already heard but wants to hear again, out-loud, face-to-face. And Betty will tell them she loves them and not stumble over the words.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Adam had a mission to get to but unfortunately for him, there was a pivotal part of his attire that was missing; his vibrant red cape.

The golden god couldn’t for the life of him seem to find it anywhere he was most likely to leave it, once again was he was forced to retracing his steps but even further back this time. When he still couldn’t find his red cape anywhere, that’s when he decided to enlist your help in finding his lost belonging because if there was anyone he could go to in times like these, it’d be you without a shadow of a doubt.

‘Y/n. Thank goodness I found you, have you by any chance seen my…cape.’ Adam’s words trailed off when he teleported into your room, only to catch a good eye full of how the familiar red fabric draped across your shoulders like a blanket, swamping you almost entirely with it’s ill fitting, looked suspiciously like the cape he was searching high and low for.

‘Your cape?’ You asked, tugging the fabric closer towards you, almost hesitant to depart from it. ‘Can’t say I have.’

‘I can see it draped over your shoulders.’ Adam retorts. The feeling of seeing you so snug in his cape made the golden being feel things, warm things, and things that were borderline possessive.

‘What? Why would I have your cape that’s a wild assumption Warlock. I’m no cape stealer.’ You replied stubbornly despite knowing that you were caught red handed.

‘Y/n.’ Adam starts and you watch him hold out his hand expectedly. ‘Give me my cape back.’

‘What’s the magic word.’ You said and Adam’s brows furrowed in genuine confusion. ‘Magic word?’ He repeats as though the words were foreign to him. ‘There’s a magic word I need to recite in order to get my cape back?’

‘Yeah, there is and it’s please but you ain’t getting it unless you catch me first.’ You were about to leap to your feet and start the chase when a gust of wind picked up and suddenly you were held under Adam’s arm as his red cape was held under his other arm.

‘Does this count as me successfully capturing you?’ Adam asked innocently as you pouted at the lack of warmth. ‘Damn you Warlock, damn you.’ Was all you said.

‘You put yourself in this situation y/n and thus must reap the consequences of your actions but if you wanted to use my cape as a blanket in the first place.’ Adam started. ‘You could’ve just asked without feeling the need to steal it.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’ You responded, still a little down from loosing so soon but happy at the same time that Adam was willing you give you his cape in the future. You were also quite glad he didn’t ask why you took it in the first place, as you wouldn’t be quite sure how to explain the negative impact of his departures had on you; So your secret was safe for the time being.

‘Though I do have one question, why did you steal it in the first place?’ Adam then asked.

Never mind.

[suwundae]

Yandere Rook XReader (Part 3)

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

“I’m fine,” You weakly tried to convince Vil (and yourself) that you were healthy enough to attend classes today. That was until, almost on cue, you were forced to run to the nearest toilet in order to avoid throwing up on his shoes. 

“Okay, you’re not going anywhere but back to bed.” 

Wiping a bit of spit off your bottom lip as you slowly stood up, you nodded. 

“Yeah, that’s fair…”

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” You heard Kalim ask in panic from the hallway. Vil quickly blocked him from the bathroom, however, and told him not to get himself sick. As you walked past he kept himself and Kalim far away from you as if you had some highly contagious, deadly disease. 

Laying in your bed, you had nothing to do but scroll through Magicam on your phone. Before leaving a few people popped their heads in to check on you. Namely Kalim, Ace, Deuce, Rook, and an energetic raccoon warning you not to expect him to carry your shared grades on his own. The day hadn’t even started yet and you were already incredibly bored. In a matter of minutes Magicam’s content had grown stale and your need for a distraction got the better of you so, following your own kind of backwards logic, you decided today was the day you were going to clean the entire dorm, top to bottom. An impossible task for any sane person but sanity was never your strong suit. In the back of your mind you knew the better option was to rest until you fully recovered or even complete a few assignments during your free time, but in your heart of hearts, you felt this was better. And the heart wants what it wants.

As you moved downstairs the floorboards creaked under your unevenly distributed weight, your body swaying side-to-side as you moved. Your first stop was the kitchen. It was almost spotless thanks to Vil and Jamil’s joint effort to keep it that way, seeing as they were the ones who cooked majority of the time. Other than a few dishes in the sink, likely left behind by Deuce or Kalim. Washing, drying, and putting the different plates, silverware, and cups back to their proper places wasn’t very difficult. Next was the living room which, once again, didn’t need much work thanks to Vil. If anyone left something out of place he’d be quick to reprimand them, no matter who they were. This included you which at times was frustrating but you could tell it was making you a better person. All there was to do was dust a few surfaces, straighten out a painting or two, and readjust the few items you had laid out for decoration. The evicted dust bunnies didn’t leave without sacrifice and made sure to make you hack up your lungs on the way out. The coughing rattled your bones in a way you’d never felt before and almost brought you to your knees. 

“Oh, mon Petite Fleur, Ça va?”

The voice seemed much closer than you’d expect it to be seeing as no one was near you the last time you’d checked. However, when you turned around you found Rook only mer inches away from your face. Too close for comfort.  

“Woah!” You yelped as you almost lept backwards in a desperate attempt to reclaim your personal space. “Careful, you might get sick,” You used as an excuse to put some sort of distance between you two. Instead of getting the (not so) subtle hint that you needed space, he instead inched closer as you moved away. 

“To fall ill by your hand would be a blessing from The Great Seven themselves.” He mused as he reached out to place the back side of his hand against your burning forehead. Your heart pounded aggressively in your head as if threatening to split it wide open and your body felt as hot as a sauna. 

“Why are you not in bed?”

That felt like a good question now that you didn’t have boredom and possibly adrenaline clouding your better judgment. 

“I needed to do something...” 

“Non, mon chéri, you need rest. Allons-y, let’s get you to bed.” He hummed, extending his arms towards you. Subconsciously you slowly backed up into the wall behind you, unsure of what he had planned. Rook’s actions never made any sense to you and with the scare you had last night- how the world warped in order to bring you back to that scene, that very day? The fear that plagued even your dreams? You weren’t ready to trust what doesn’t make sense. Regardless of your comfort levels, though, he simply picked you up and cradled you in his arms like you were a sniveling pup just begging for all that ails you to vanish.

Rook carried you effortlessly up the stairs and to your barely renovated bedroom. He lifted your blanket and gently nestled you underneath it. Pulling the covers up high, he patted your head and warned you not to go anywhere. Part of you felt as if he was joking but the rest of your heated body perceived it as a real threat. Fear shook you to your core as you watched him walk away. Running seemed more trouble than it was worth, but then you couldn’t help wondering. Was your life not worth running for? It is, right…? Then why are you still in bed, waiting for him? 

“Rook’s harmless…” You whispered to yourself before you started to nod off. You didn’t want to sleep but there wasn’t really much you could do against it. Especially with your eyelids getting so heavy and the bed feeling so nice.

◌‧₊ *:･ﾟ彡 ◌ ☽︎ ◌

◌ ✩彡 ･ﾟ *:◌

◌ ◌

◌

♡

(\_(\  /)_/)

(    ) (    )

[iriel3000]

Hurry, She Needs You - part 3

Summary: Natasha becomes ill from what they think is food poisoning. Tony and Bruce try to care for her until Clint arrives home from a deep cover mission. Part 3 of 6

Whumptober No. 3: “Make it stop.”

Warnings: Natasha whump, light whump, needles

Trusting that Clint was right, Tony didn’t wait for the blood results.

“Does Barton know?” Bucky asked, standing with Tony outside of Natasha’s room.

Barnes had obtained the antidote and brought it to the hospital. The staff in the room prepared her for the first shot of three.

“Only that she's been poisoned, not how. He'll be here in a few hours.”

"How did it happen?"

"Not sure," Tony scowled, shoving his hands into his pockets, "we were together the whole time, except for maybe the restroom. We ate the same things, drank the…"

Tony trailed off slowly, looking up at Buckeye with wide eyes.

"Oh my God. Aldrich. He sent drinks to the table. She stole mine."

Bucky whipped out his phone and pressed a number.

"Yeah?" Sam answered.

"Where are you?"

"Sarah's. Why the tone?"

"Nat’s been poisoned, meet me at your place in 20 minutes."

"On my way." He hung up.

"I’ll keep you posted." Bucky said with a curled lip and walked out.

Tony entered the private room to see Natasha thrashing on the hospital bed, Bruce holding one arm and an orderly pinning down the other. A young man in scrubs Stark didn’t recognize stood to the side with a full needle clearly wanting to be anywhere but here.

“No! I'll kill you if you take it!!”

“What the hell?”

“I don’t know where she got the energy, Tony.” Bruce panted. "We were removing her jewelry and she freaked out when I tried to take off her ring."

Her monitors were beeping like crazy.

"Natasha, they’re not going to take your ring.” Tony put his hands up, both men let go.

Whimpering, Natasha curled close to him in an attempt to hide.

“I saw him, Tony…the Winter Soldier. The Red Room sent him to take me back. Don’t let them.” She clutched his hand. “Whatever I did, I won’t do it again, I promise.”

If he had a heart, it would be breaking right now.

“Bucky isn’t here to take you away, Nat, he’s our friend. You heard Clint, you need the shot.”

“Where is he? Did they hurt him?”

“No, no. He’s on a mission. He’s coming home.” Tony beckoned the closest orderly. “Where is Joyce?”

“We called her, Mr. Stark, she’s on the way.”

“Find me Marcus. Now.”

“Yes, sir.”

“No!" Natasha yanked her hand from his grasp and scrambled to the end of the bed. "I won’t let them experiment on me anymore.”

Bruce tried to grab her but she elbowed him in the lip. He fell back onto a chair, hand to his mouth.

“No one wants to hurt you, Natasha. Remember what Clint said, if we don’t get you the first dose within four hours you could die.” Tony pleaded.

Nurse Griffin appeared at that moment, blocking her at the door with his imposing figure. Without a word, he overpowered the weakened assassin, easing her back on the bed.

The nurse from before came to his side.

“Prep her arm.” Marcus ordered.

When she saw the syringe, Natasha begged like Tony had never heard.

”No…no…please…I don’t want to go back. Clint! No!”

Ignoring her, Marcus gently inserted the needle into her arm.

It was a slow injection. Nat whimpered and tried to pull away.

“I’m sorry, Agent Romanov, it takes a minute.” Marcus explained, keeping a tight hold.

Bruce turned his head, unable to watch how much pain Nat was enduring. It didn’t help. Her cries were worse.

“All done, but we have to do this again in four hours.” Marcus released her.

Natasha arched her back, crying out, arms and legs twitching.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asked in a panic. “What’s happening to her?”

“It’s the antidote, Mr. Stark. It causes muscle cramping, vomiting, and a whole slew of unpleasant side effects.” Marcus rubbed her legs.

“Please, make it stop, I’ll be good.” She sobbed.

“Can’t you give her something for the pain?” Bruce asked, hating this as much as Tony.

“No, Dr, Banner, pain modifiers interfere. I’m sorry, but this is going to be a long 24 hours.”

find the whole story below

Hurry, She Needs You

[starcrossed02]

Shark Week

THIS IS INSPIRED BY A ONESHOT FROM ANOTHER FANDOM

NOT MY ORIGINAL WORK, INSPO CREDIT GOES TO THE OG AUTHOR!!! WILL LIST THE BOOK AND CHAP NAME

@bookish_writer on wattpad, chapter titles "bloodstains" close to the end of the chapter list

(i copied and pasted this from my wattpad, go follow me on there too <333)

"no no no no no" you repeated to yourself under your breath, wondering how you hadn't realized it was already late.

"no!" you continued to mutter to yourself, trying to think of how to get up without waking mickey.

"ok! its ok! i can do! come on y/n! its ok!" you said, slowly working up the courage to waddle over to his bathroom.

"ok! come on, you got this!"

you slowly sat up, keeping your thighs tight together, trying to make sure blood doesn't get anywhere else. 

"damned gravity" you said, no longer whispering to your self.

you walked over to mickeys bathroom. while scouring his cabinets for a anything to use, you cant find a single thing. 

you give yourself a quick wipe down from all the blood, and quickly walk over to your purse in the kitchen. you find some black underwear, a pad, and a tampon. as you begin to walk back towards mickeys bathroom, you realize you are craving some chocolate.

"ooo! i should make some chocolate chip pancakes!" you think to yourself, starting to get excited.

you do you business in the bathroom, and go back to find ingredients for pancaked.

after a few minutes of looking up recipes, you hear mickey from the bedroom.

"y/n? no no no! god damnit! where are you?" he starts to breath heavier, his heart rate getting faster. he runs out of his room, almost tripping on the carpet in the hallway.

"y/n? where are you?" he starts fearing the worst, what if you got kidnapped?

 what if you got shot right there then taken and you were already dead?

 what if someone was taking you for ransom? he would give everything he had just to make sure you never got hurt.

as you begin to realize your fatal mistake, he practically sprints through the hallway.

still breathing heavy, he says, "y/n? are you okay? i saw, i saw the blood," he pauses, trying to catch his breath., " on the bedsheets. what happened?"

you just stare back at him, wondering why you hadn't thought to clean the bedsheets somehow. now that you're thinking about it, you wouldn't have been able to take the sheet off without waking him.

"what? yeah, im fine, perfectly fine!" you say, kind putting your arms up as if to show him something, but your not sure what. 

"ok? what's the blood from?" he says, still slightly out of breath. he walks over, checks your legs for any cuts. he lifts your shirt slightly, just enough to see your belly button.

"you haven't been cut? or shot? or stabbed?"

"i- its from," you say, stumbling over your words. you can feel the red creep up on your cheeks, looking down.

that's when you realize he's holding your hands in his.

"oh. is it your period?" he's asks, in the most nonchalant manner you've ever heard someone ask that question.

"mhm. im sorry, ill clean the sheets and make sure the change the bag in the bathroom trashcan before i leave." you say, rushing all the words out at once they almost sounded like another language.

you can feel the heat in your cheeks continue to grow at an even faster rate that earlier.

"hey," Mickey says, placing one of his hands against your cheek, cupping your face. "its nothing to be embarrassed about? I don't understand why you would be embarrassed about something 100% natural. and I can clean the sheets. I'm a lawyer. I've seen worse in photos of dead people, for goodness sakes!"

"oh. i hadn't thought about it that way before. you're sure you want to clean it? im fine, i can clean it. i really can. you don't have to just say it to make me feel better."

"oh, mi amor, let me clean the sheets. ill change the trash can, and ill finish the pancakes, ok? go lay down on the couch and watch something on tv, ok?"

"you mean it? you're not just gonna throw away the sheets?" you say, starting to tear up.

"Querida, don't cry. why are you crying?" (spanish for darling)

"its, its just the last guy i dated, he, uh, yelled at me because he was so grossed out, when it got into his bed. the one before, just, ignored the whole thing. like he wasn't grossed out, but he wanted me to clean the sheets."

"oh, im sorry that happened to you. they really arent men. they just boys." by this point, he had pulled your head into his chest, with one hand on your back, and the other holding your head in place.

you just started sobbing into him. after a minute of standing there, he walked you two over the the couch, and had you sit next to him, still sniffling into his shoulder.

after a good ten minutes, when mickey didn't hear anymore sniffles or sobs, he realized you fell asleep. he carefully got up, making sure not to wake you. he went to grab his softest blanket from the linen closet, and covered you with it

he grabbed his bed sheet, and brought it to the sink in the kitchen. he poured some dish soap onto it and started to rub the two areas stained together. after rinsing with some cold water, he put it into into the washer with some bleach and a heavy duty stain remover. 

he went to go check on you, and he saw you sprawled out on the couch, snuggling with a pillow. he smiled, and went back to the kitchen to make those chocolate chip pancakes.

*small time skip*

he walked out with a charcuterie board with your plate and some oj. he placed it on the coffee table next to the couch, and gently woke you up. after stirring for a minute, he said "pancakes" and your eyes shot open.

he smiled at this, and picked up the tray, placed it on your lap, and went to go grab his own.

by the time he got back, you were eating the final few, and asked if there were more in the kitchen. he handed you the his plate, and gave him a confused look.

"there's more in the kitchen."

"oh, okay then!" and dug in. he sat down and smiled at how happy and content you looked in that moment.

1052 words ❤

[cuddlepilefics]

Wear your coat, you'll catch a cold.

Fandom: Enhypen

Sickie: Sunoo

Caregiver: Enhypen

Prompt: @sicktember

No one’s POV.:

The weather had been pretty rough lately. With fall approaching, a strong wind had picked up, while the temperature had dropped drastically over the past few days. The members were all worn out from their busy schedules and realistically, it was only a matter of time till one was bound to fall ill. Knowing they wouldn’t want to have to miss work due to illness, the members had unanimously agreed to take especially good care of their health. They made a point of eating healthy and by having meals together, they were bound to be reminded of having some veggies. Always watching out for one another, the members usually made sure everyone was back and in bed at a reasonable time although there were some exceptions when they really had no choice because of their schedule.

One of those exceptions was Jake and Sunoo having to stay behind at the company. The two had struggled with some parts of their new choreography and were asked to stay longer, so they could work on their weaker points. Jake couldn’t even remember how that could happen as he didn’t usually fall behind like this. Their morning had been a little chaotic, so by the time they started to practice, his mind was anywhere but the task on hand, which was probably why he had made so many mistakes. Sunoo hadn’t been any better, unable to focus and therefor messing up his dance moves. Sure, it sucked having to stay behind because you didn’t do well enough but at least they had each other and didn’t need to stay back alone. Though the other members were confused too and didn’t really want to leave their friends, they eventually filed into the van that would take them back to their dorm.

A few hours later, Jake and Sunoo had finally made it. The pair was exhausted to the bone, which wasn’t surprising with how much they had been dancing. It had gotten quite late and with the van already gone, they had to figure out how to get home. Sure, they could call a cab but when they did, they were told about the waiting time and politely declined. They just wanted to go to bed, not wait for almost an hour till someone would come and drive them. Glancing outside, Jake noted: “Well, it isn’t raining right now…. I we walk, we’ll still be faster than if we wait for a cab and I’m really carving a shower. Ugh, so sweaty.” – “Yeah, I’m drenched too”, Sunoo agreed with a wince, “Let’s just get going. It isn’t even that far.” He quickly downed the last few sips of water before shoving the bottle into his bag.

As they stepped out of the building, a gust of wind hit them. “Woah, that was stronger than I expected”, Jake shuddered as his zipped up his coat. He pulled his hands into the sleeves to keep his fingers from freezing as he glanced at Sunoo, not seeing the younger’s coat anywhere. Sunoo had stuffed it into his bag because he still felt overly warm from dancing and now that the wind hit his damp skin, digging it back out seemed like too much of a hassle. Frowning at his dongsaeng, Jake instructed: “Wear your coat, you’ll catch a cold.” – “Nah, hyung. I’m fine. It isn’t even cold out here, though I suppose your Aussie-genes are making you a little sensitive”, Sunoo teased, hiding his hands in the sleeves of his sweater, so the older wouldn’t see them tremble.

It was no secret that Sunoo was the member with the worst immune system, which was why Jake really worried about the younger walking around without wearing his coat. Sunoo however didn’t feel cold enough to go through the trouble of retrieving his coat from his bag and only teased his hyung when he asked him to put his coat on. Jake knew the boy would most likely get defensive if he mentioned his shitty immune system but there wasn’t much he could do when he just wouldn’t listen. Giving the younger a stern look, Jake reminded: “Ddeonu, we know how it goes with you. If you don’t wear your coat, I give you a day, two days maximum before you fall ill. That’s exactly what we’ve been trying to avoid, so stop fooling around and just put it on.” – “Don’t you think I’d be wearing it if I was cold, hyung? You guys always treat me like I can’t survive on my own. I can make my own decisions, you know, I don’t need you to tell me what my body does or doesn’t need. It is MY body and I know MY body best”, Sunoo spat, adjusting the strap of his bag, so it wouldn’t slip off his shoulder now that he quickened his pace. Jake only sighed as he matched the boy’s pace, knowing he had upset his dongsaeng by pointing out what he had always been insecure about.

Though he had really been looking forward to taking a shower, Jake stalled when they got home, trying to get Sunoo to shower first without coming across too overbearing. The other members had already gone to bed by the time Jake showered but at least he could be sure now that his dongsaeng had warmed up from their walk. Still, when the Aussie went to bed he kept overthinking how he could’ve picked his words better as to not upset the younger but he also made a mental note to keep a closer eye on him for the next few days in case his prediction came true.

Sunoo winced and buried his face in his pillow the second he woke up. He felt drained, a testament of the long practice Jake and him had completed the previous day. The bone-aching exhaustion wasn’t all though. There was a pressure in his sinuses that made his head foggy and he just wanted to go back to sleep for another two hours. That wasn’t an option though, so he rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead. After splashing some cold water into his face, Sunoo had to accept that he wouldn’t be shaking that sleepy hazy anytime soon. All he could do was grab some concealer and cover up the circles under his eyes, so it wouldn’t look quite as dramatic.

While the other member all had at least a small breakfast, Sunoo just couldn’t seem to find his appetite and he ended up just sipping some water to soothe the dry itch in his throat. It was obvious how out of it he was and Niki teased him about almost going back to sleep at the table but the older didn’t react to it at all. “You should really eat breakfast”, Jay hummed, nudging his dongsaeng’s shoulder, “We have a long day ahead of us. Wouldn’t want you to collapse because you don’t have the energy.” Sunoo only nodded, though he was well aware that even if he ate something, he wouldn’t have the energy to keep up with the rest of the group today. He accepted the small serving of rice, Jay handed him but barely had a few bites, mainly just poking at his food.

“Hope he’s not coming down with something”, Heeseung commented after Sunoo had left to get changed. Packing a water bottle into his bag, Niki added: “He’s not acting like himself, hyung. He didn’t react to my teasing at all.” – “I’m pretty sure he’s catching a cold”, Jake sighed, “He refused to wear his coat when we walked home last night and I’m pretty sure he’s mad at me because I might have been a little pushy in telling him to put it on.” The members unanimously agreed to keep an eye on their friend throughout the day because they already suspected he wouldn’t speak up about not feeling well.

Sunghoon made sure to throw a travel pack of tissues into his bag, in case his dongsaeng needed it, while Jake brought along his dongsaeng’s favorite cough drops. Before they headed out, Heeseung went to talk to Sunoo alone, asking the younger if he was okay and what was on his mind but Sunoo insisted he was only sleepy still because they had gotten home late the previous night.

Their schedule passed in a blur for Sunoo, who frequently had to excuse himself to the bathroom to go and blow his nose. He had been really quiet all morning, only speaking when someone asked him something because his throat was on fire and he was certain he’d be losing his voice soon. His attempts at dancing always left him lightheaded and though the members noticed him slacking during the choreographies, nobody pointed out his mistakes as it was obvious that he was trying his hardest. A bunched-up wad of toilet paper fell from Sunoo’s pocket during one of the jumps. If he had run out of tissues, it would most definitely explain why his nose looked so raw and irritated. It had to hurt badly to scrub at it with toilet paper. When the younger wasn’t looking, Sunghoon slipped the travel pack of tissues into his dongsaeng’s bag, so he wouldn’t have to blow his nose into toilet paper anymore.

Jake and Sunoo hadn’t really spoken at all that day and the older couldn’t help but feel guilty for the way he had approached the topic of his dongsaeng’s health the previous night, assuming the younger was avoiding him because he was still hurt and upset because of it. Truth was, Sunoo tried to stay away from Jake, afraid the older would notice him being under the weather and he really wasn’t in the mood for any ‘I told you so’. Still, that would be the best-case-scenario but Sunoo feared his hyung would be mad at him because they all put in such a big effort to stay healthy while he had been stubborn and deliberately risked falling ill.

Sunoo didn’t know how he had done it but he had gotten through a full day of schedule without collapsing. By the time he got back to the dorm and kicked off his shoes though, he was pretty certain that he had developed a fever. His skin felt sensitive, while his head pounded and he couldn’t tell whether he felt hot or cold. Too exhausted to notice his friends’ intentions, Sunoo took the first turn showering when he was pushed towards the bathroom. “Let’s have some soup for dinner”, Jake proposed, already heading to the kitchen. Walking off to the room he shared with Sunoo, Jungwon and Niki, Sunghoon agreed: “I’ll be there to help you in a minute, hyung. Let me just go and set up the humidifier for tonight.” While the older filled the humidifier with water, Niki placed a fresh box of tissues next to Sunoo’s bed and picked out a warm outfit for his hyung to wear after his shower.

The steam in the bathroom had helped Sunoo breathe a little easier though the shifting congestion made him cough. He could only hope that the running water was enough to drown out the noise but he doubted it. His throat felt shredded and tears stung his eyes as he kept turning the water temperature higher in an attempt to quell the chills. The chills didn’t stop but the hot water soothed the ache in his muscles. Sunoo stumbled a little as he stepped out of the shower, the heat messing with his circulation. Spotting the clothes on the sink, he heaved a sigh of relief, grateful that whichever member had picked them had picked a warm outfit. He still shivered as he got dressed, eager to head to his room and lay down on his bed till dinner would be ready.

On his way to his room, Sunoo happened to run into Jake though, the older stopping him right there. They only stared at each other for a moment, Jake realizing the younger had forgotten to dry his hair. After their argument the previous night, the Aussie was hesitant to comment on it, though he knew Sunoo would only get worse if he didn’t dry his hair. “Dinner should be ready in half an hour”, Jake stated neutrally, stepping aside to let the younger go to his room. Sunoo nodded in acknowledgement, making a beeline for his bed as his head spun. He wouldn’t have been able to stay upright a moment longer, so he was glad that the older didn’t try to have a conversation but on the other hand, he was also a little hurt that his hyung treated him so distant.

“Guys, Sunoo didn’t dry his hair but I don’t think he would’ve reacted well to me telling him what to do, so could one of you make sure he dries his hair?”, Jake asked quietly as he made his way to the common area of their dorm. Winking at his hyung, Niki headed to the room he shared with Sunoo and plopped down on the bed next to him. “Ugh, today was exhausting”, the maknae groaned as he lay down alongside the older, “Do you feel wrecked too, hyung?” Sunoo nodded his hum coming out painfully hoarse. “Cuddles till dinner is ready?”, Niki smiled, resting his forehead against his hyung’s arm. Sunoo smiled wordlessly as he pulled the younger against his side, only to have the boy sit up. “Hyung, you forgot to dry your hair”, Niki frowned, “You’ll get our clothes wet if we cuddle.” – “Didn’t forget”, Sunoo breathed, “Didn’t feel like drying it because the blow drier is so loud and I’m too tired for that type of noise.” He really didn’t want to mention the splitting headache that made any loud noise unbearable and he didn’t have to. “Hang on, I’ll fetch a towel and we can just rub your hair dry, okay?”, Niki smiled, already walking off to the bathroom before he even got a reply.

Cuddling his dongsaeng had helped ease the chills a little and by the time they were called to dinner, Sunoo had almost dozed off. He sniffled into his sleeve as he trudged to the dinner table, quietly thanking his friends for the meal. Though he still didn’t have an appetite, the soup soothed his throat and warmed him up from the inside, so he managed to finish all of it this time. Sunoo weakly explained that he’d like to catch up on the sleep he had missed the previous night and headed right back to his room after they cleared the table. He only downed some medicine before curling up under his blanket, immediately drifting off.

Sunoo didn’t manage to stay asleep for long though. Fevers always left him restless and sharing a room with three other people, it was safe to say they didn’t get much sleep either. When their friend shot up from a nightmare, breaking into a painful cough, it took all of three seconds for Jungwon to turn on his reading lamp. Sunoo’s heart clenched as he realized he had woken someone else up and he desperately lifted his pillow to his face to try and muffle the noise. Tears spilled down his cheek when he felt the mattress dip and a hand appeared on his back. “You’re okay”, Sunghoon whispered, running his hand up and down his dongsaeng’s spine. While Sunoo struggled to catch his breath, Niki quickly fetched him some water.

After having a few sips of water, Sunoo was finally able to stop coughing but the tears still kept dripping from his chin. Crouching next to his friend’s bed, Jungwon hummed: “What’s wrong, hyung?” Sunoo choked on a sob and ended up muffling another cough into his pillow. “Jake-hyung is- he’s mad at me ‘cause- be-because I-“, he forced out between sobs. Patting the boy’s back, Sunghoon whispered: “Did you have a nightmare, sunshine?” The younger gave a pathetic nod, sniffling back more tears. “Did you and Jake-hyung fight?”, Niki asked quietly, “You’ve been kinda tense around each other today.” Sunoo gave another weak nod, admitting: “Hyung told me- he told me not to do something ‘cause I’d get sick. I- I got frustrated and- and I didn’t listen and now- and now I’m sick and he’s mad ‘cause I was- I was rude when he- when he meant well and was -was right.” – “Ssh, deep breath”, Sunghoon reminded as the other’s rambling got faster, “What I can promise you, is that Jake-hyung is not mad at you, sunshine. Yeah, he’s worried but he couldn’t be mad.” Jungwon and Niki quietly agreed with Sunghoon but Sunoo didn’t seem to fully believe them, so the older offered: “Let’s go and talk to hyung, yeah? You’ll see he isn’t mad.” – “He surely will be if we go and wake him up”, Sunoo rasped but his hyung had already pulled him to his feet.

Both Jay and Jake were up in an instant when the door to their room opened. It had probably been intuition because they knew their dongsaeng was feeling poorly. The moment Sunoo made eye contact with Jake in the dim light of Jay’s reading lamp, the younger broke into tears again. “Our sunshine thinks you’re mad at him, hyung”, Sunghoon whispered, wrapping his arm around Sunoo’s shoulders. Patting the spot next to him, Jake hummed: “Now, why would I be mad?” Sunoo stiffly sat down next to the Aussie and sniffled into the cuff of his sleeve. “I-I was rude last night and you- you were right”, the boy rasped, “I caught a cold like you- like you said I would.” – “I know you did”, Jake sighed, pulling the younger into a side hug, “Doesn’t mean I’m mad though.” – “You knew?”, Sunoo stammered, shocked because he had put in quite a bit of effort to hide it from his group. “Sunshine, how blind do you think we are?”, Jake asked softly, feeling his dongsaeng’s forehead, “We all knew. Pretty much from the moment you didn’t react to Niki’s teasing this morning, we could tell something wasn’t right. It’s okay. I get that it’s frustrating but I really only intended to watch out for you last night.” – “I know an’ I’m sorry”, Sunoo whimpered, resting his thumping head on his huyng’s shoulder.

“Gosh, you’re shivering”, Jake frowned, clicking his tongue, “Do you wanna stay here with me tonight? We can cuddle and maybe the chills will ease up soon.” Sunoo gave an exhausted nod while Jay slipped out of bed, whispering: “Do you want me to find some medicine before you go back to sleep?” – “Already took some but thank you hyung”, the younger breathed as he crawled under Jake’s blanket. Jay helped his dongsaeng’s get settled before leaving the room with Sunghoon. He walked the younger back to his room, telling the maknaes ‘goodnight’ too before collecting a cold washcloth from the bathroom. When he returned to his room, he gently cleaned the sweat and tears off of Sunoo’s flushed face and adjusted the heater in there room before getting back into bed for a few more hours of sleep.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

And a platonic Pike and Scanlan for "I'm not going anywhere"?

I'm not going anywhere.

When illness spreads through Whitestone like wildfire, Pike is on the front lines of the effort to staunch the worst of things. She's powerful, to be sure, but even her magic has its limits, and even with the combined efforts of all of the clerics from the temples and the healers from town, every day, more people fall sick than can be cured by magical or medicinal means.

She gets home on a night, exhausted and spent and scared that they're going to lose more people than they can save, and all she wants to do is crawl into bed and cry herself to sleep. Except tonight, there's someone waiting for her in the living room, snoring and conspicuous on her lumpy couch. "Scanlan?"

He startles awake, toppling to the floor with a shriek and a grunt. Then he grins up at her upside-down. "You're home!"

"You're in my home." Pike presses the heels of her palms into her eyes. "Scanlan...why are you here?"

He picks himself up. "Heard things were bad here. Thought I'd come check on you, since I'm sure no one else is."

She drops her hands and narrows her eyes. "So let me get this straight. You came into an town riddled by a highly contagious disease, meaning you now can no longer leave until you have quarantined for at least a month, and decided to take up on my probably infected couch, meaning I have to keep you here so you don't spread anything to anyone else. Is that about the long and short of it?"

Scanlan head shrinks down into his shoulders. "...Yeah, that's about it."

"And all because you assumed that none of our other friends cared at all about me or how I'm dealing with things."

He's practically melted into a puddle on the floor at this point. "I...am starting to think I may have made some miscalculations." She huffs out a sigh, and he snaps straighter. "But hey, at least you're not coming home to a house you have no time to clean!"

She frowns, confused. The house is a pigsty. "What do you..."

Scanlan snaps his fingers, and a familiar spectral door appears in the middle of the living room. "How would you like to come home to an all-inclusive spa and resort featuring invisible masseuses and all of the best vegan cuisine magic can buy?"

She bites her lip. That...actually sounds incredible. She barely eats most nights, too tired to cook for herself, and if she doesn't do laundry soon, she'll have a real shot at dispelling this disease by sheer force of stink. Her eyes dart between the door and Scanlan's too-hopeful face. "...Do you promise to stay in there the entire time? No coming out until all of this is over?"

He salutes dramatically. "Yes, ma'am!"

She walks over, puts her hand on the purple doorknob, and pauses. "You're really gonna stay?"

He smiles, and oh, it really is nice to see beneath the veneer, sometimes. "As long as you'll have me, I'm not going anywhere."

And it's a terrible idea, for so many reasons, but that doesn't stop her from pushing the door open, eager to get a foot massage and her first proper night's rest in over a week.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

First time ever using the ask system on Tumblr solely because I really like your interpretations. Probably obvious who I am cause I went on a whole binge 😭

Specifically also wanted to comment on something, how you mentioned Sonic was chill with just doing things or being a side character and like- In the older games, like Secret Rings, he really puts emphasis that he does things for fun. He helps out to have an adventure, he enjoys himself despite the odds against him, and I think it's really neat to think about. He may be dying, but he's gonna make the most of it. He may be in a different world, but gods if he's not having a blast going through the world and seeing what it has in store. It's why I love how he gets attached to people.

Imagining how it must've been when he first found Tails. He likely hadn't had anywhere to live, he'd been freely exploring the world, then he came upon this kit who's been so horribly ostracized that he takes them in and now there's a slight limit to what he can do for a small while. He doesn't mind though, because he gets so attached so quickly and he wants to show Tails the good things in life and he just sacrifices so much to be able to raise his little brother and hrfjfht/vpos

Sonic's sacrifices are a fun part to think of, honestly. He really would die for his friends, and just imagining how he'd react if anyone was really in severe danger- or if he was somehow convinced they had been killed- and like that's not fun Sonic anymore if so. Ough my heaRt- Sorry for the rambles but you gave the brain worms a dopamine hit 😔😔

Jokes on you, like three people at once binged through my blog I have no idea who you could be HDHFHHFHF

Sonics sacrifices OUUUGHH that's such a great way to word that I dunno why my brain latched onto that but he really does sacrifice a lot and never looks for acknowledgement for it he just moves onto the next thing

Sonic and Tails backstory isn't something I've thought about a lot yet maybe because I'm still thinking about their movie dynamic but I sure am mentally ill over Sonic giving Tails a home when he doesn't feel like he needs one himself but he gives up that freedom so Tails can have some stability something something I DUNNO HE SURE IS NEAT

Heck yeah for brainrot rambles