#yeah so when I said I’m in my angst era again I really meant it

[theotherbuckley]

You were born to save someone. And that’s what you do.

[werewolf-cl4ws]

Sonsally Week 2024: Day 3 - Clothes

This one took a turn. It's an obvious theme with my AU but when it hits it's like "Oh I got angst in my fluff".

So I guess trigger warning for body image issues. Same deal as before taking place in my AU TimeSkip era.

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“When are you ever not thinkin’, Sal?” Sonic pointed out.

“I have to do a lot of compensating because of one of us not doing any,” Sally sighed, unable to resist rolling her eyes at the hedgehog.

“Uh huh.”

“Anyway I was thinking now that you’re joining us on missions again, you should probably get some more suitable clothes for them,” Sally stated.

Sonic tilted his head at Sally, then looked down at himself, eye brows furrowed with genuine confusion.

“What’s wrong wit’ wha’ I’m wearin’?” Sonic asked.

Right now he was wearing a loose t-shirt and tracksuit pants alongside his usual gloves and a pair of sneakers. The sneakers were already showing signs of wear and tear, as they were just a regular pair that wouldn’t be able to withstand Sonic’s speed like his old sneakers did. But that wasn’t Sally’s concern as Rotor was already working on something that would help there.

What was not sitting right with Sally was everything else.

“There’s nothing wrong with them while you’re here at home,” Sally began. “But they’re way too big, even for you. Your shirt has already gotten snagged on something today.

Sonic was still looking over himself while Sally spoke, and when she pointed out his shirt Sonic winced when he caught sight of an obvious tear that wasn’t there when they had left the village. He grabbed his shirt to get a better look at the tear, frowning slightly.

“I mean yeah, true. But I like ‘em loose,” Sonic said. “I gotta be able to move.”

“I know, but there’s a fine line between comfortable and putting yourself at risk,” Sally said, before she gestured to herself. “That’s why I wear my vest - it’s fitted enough so it won’t get caught on anything, but I can still move around easily.”

“Yeah, but,” Sonic began, his muzzle scrunched up with hesitation as he tried to pick his next words.

He had never really been the type to wear clothes, as like a lot of mobians he found it wasn’t needed. The most he would wear was maybe a jacket or a sweater in the colder months, but even then he hated it with a passion as those felt too restrictive even if the trade-off was being warm.

But now he felt like he had to be fully clothed, for reasons he didn’t really want to delve into. But the main requirement for his new wardrobe was that it had to be comfortable, which meant that what he was wearing was maybe a size or two bigger than what he needed in reality.

That in itself also touched onto reasons he didn’t want to delve into, and he had a feeling what Sally was hinting at was going to cut right into that.

“It’s fine. I can deal with a few tears,” Sonic concluded a little lamely, unable to think of a counter argument that would shut down this conversation, but hoping that would be enough to slow Sally’s roll.

He turned away from Sally to emphasis his desire to end the conversation there, though when he started to walk away Sonic felt something snag his t-shirt. Before he could stop himself he stumbled back, just barely able to rebalance himself as he almost tripped over his own feet.

When he managed to right himself Sonic glared down at his shirt, only to find Sally gripping it in her fist with a strength Sonic had no idea she possessed.

“Oh c’mon!” Sonic protested, only to get yanked again. This time he managed to keep his balance, and couldn’t help giving Sally a small smirk of satisfaction when she ended up nearly tripping over herself when the tugging backfired on her.

“I’m just trying to show you it’s not about a few tears here and there. It’s about your own safety,” Sally countered. “I don’t want you ending up getting hurt just when you getting back on track over something so silly.”

“I’ll just tuck it in or somethin’, it’s fine,” Sonic sighed.

“That’s not going to work and you know it,” Sally stated.

She finally released Sonic’s shirt, and after he straightened it out Sonic sat on his bed, giving Sally a deadpan stare.

“Look, it’s an easy fix,” Sally explained. “Just let me take some measurements--"

“Pass,” Sonic cut in.

“-- then let Bunnie take some measurements--"

“Hard pass,” Sonic gritted, resulting in Sally growling in frustration. “Can’t she just use wha’ever measurements she had when she made these for me?”

“There were no measurements. She had to guess by eyeballing you,” Sally sighed. “And even then she knew she got most of it wrong.”

“Nah, she did fine,” Sonic waved off, before he flopped back onto his bed. “Just tell her to do that again.”

He felt Sally climb onto his bed to scoot up next to him, so he tried to avoid looking at her by staring up at the ceiling. Sonic managed to last about a minute before his eyes flinted towards her, seeing her staring him down and waiting with an infinite amount of patience that wore him down.

“I don’t want to,” Sonic eventually admitted, huffing sharply.

“I know you don’t, but you only have to do it once and then it’s done,” Sally pointed out. “I can come with you if that helps.”

Sonic clicked his tongue in frustration.

“… yeah, that might help,” Sonic sighed. “‘nd then she’s gonna make some new threads for me?”

“Yes.”

“I still want ‘em kinda loose though.”

“She can make them reasonably loose, yes,” Sally smirked. “And you can keep these for home.”

“… fine. When can she does this?”

“Bunnie said she’s ready whenever you are, I’ve already talked to her about it,” Sally said. “Honestly, it was her idea to ask, she really wants to make some new clothes for you.”

“Why? They’re just clothes, ‘nd I like wha’ she made for me already,” Sonic asked, tilting his head a little at Sally.

“She said she felt like it wasn’t her best work. And you know Bunnie, she just wants to do something nice for you,” Sally shrugged. “She also said she had some ideas already, but she didn’t want to start making them until you gave the go ahead.”

“I swear she fusses just as much as she breathes,” Sonic laughed, then sat up. “Let’s do it now then.”

“Right now?” Sally echoed, clear surprise in her voice.

“Yep. Before I change my mind. If she ain’t ready now she’s gonna miss her chance.”

His bravado lasted long enough to get himself to Bunnie’s place, and to get the cyborg rabbit to start preparations to gather whatever measurements she needed.

However Sally watched it fade almost instantly the second Bunnie asked Sonic to remove his shirt so she could get a much more accurate measurement. Which was a sight to be seen in itself, as she was used to Sonic being brave even when facing down something that would shake any mortal soul to its very core.

It was also strange, almost concerning, that Sonic couldn’t even muster up the words to try to argue a compromise with Bunnie. Instead he seemed to shut down entirely, his tail lashing back and forth in agitation as he took on the role of a trapped animal.

“Sugah-hog? Y’doin’ okay there?” Bunnie chanced, also noticing the change in the hedgehog. “We c’n do this another time if y’all wanna.”

When Sonic didn’t answer, or really even acknowledged that Bunnie had said anything, Sally jumped up from her seat and approached him as she gave Bunnie an apologetic look.

“Sorry, one second,” Sally murmured while she slipped her hand into Sonic’s larger one and gently tugged him towards her. Surprisingly Sonic followed her, though he still looked like a deer caught in headlights when she took him to one side of Bunnie’s hut so they could talk.

“Hey, are you all right?” Sally whispered.

The question seemed to snap Sonic out of his trance, if just barely, and he blinked at Sally as he tried to process her question.

“Uh... yeah. Just... you know...” Sonic babbled, his eyes wide before he weakly stated. “I didn’t think this through.”

It was a consistent characteristic for Sonic to do that, which Sally would have gladly pointed out with dripping sarcasm given any other circumstance. But watching it actually shatter his confidence so quickly made Sally’s own mind scramble to try to help him push through it.

“It’s okay. She’ll be quick so you don’t have to have it off for too long,” Sally attempted. “It’s just so she can get more accurate measurements, that’s all.”

“Ah’m just gonna be lookin’ at th’ numbers, hon. Nothin’ else,” Bunnie offered, then clamped her mouth shut when Sally shot her a glare while frantically made a cutting motion at her throat with her hand.

Her words though were like setting off fire crackers at Sonic’s feet, and it turned him into a bucking bull that Sally had to grab at desperately to stop him from rocketing out of the hut.

“Easy, Sonic! Easy!” Sally called, her voice strained as she held onto his shirt for dear life.

“This was a stupid idea! I can’t do this!” Sonic snapped.

“Yes you can,” Sally assured, tugging at Sonic’s shirt so he was now at her eye level. “Breathe first, look at me and breathe.”

Miraculously Sonic followed her instructions, though his breathing was so tense it sounded like his lungs had turned to stone. Sally cupped his cheeks and ran her hands through the fur that edged them, before running her hands up through his quills and along his ears, repeating the motions slowly.

“It’s okay, just tell me what you’re thinking,” Sally murmured.

“This is too different. I’m too different. I didn’t care before but no one was seein’ me either so it didn’t matter,” Sonic babbled, his voice catching at every few words. “I thought I could deal wit’ this.”

“You can, I know you can,” Sally assured, still running her hands along his cheeks and up.

She noticed that his quills were getting tenser with each passing second, so she switched to petting at his ears instead to not risk cutting her hands open from his quills. “I’m right here, and we don’t have to do it all at once. We can stop whenever you need to.”

“I just want it over wit’,” Sonic hissed.

“You can set the pace,” Sally said. “And you don’t have to look at anything or know anything because Bunnie isn’t going to say a word about what she’s measuring or seeing.”

The last part Sally said a little louder as she glanced at Bunnie, her expression stern enough for Bunnie to catch what she was hinting at. The cyborg rabbit nodded, desperate to make up for her slip up earlier.

“Mah lips are sealed, hon. Y’all just tell me when you want a break ‘nd Ah’ll stop. No ifs or buts about it,” Bunnie stated.

Sonic still looked like he would rather tear his own face off than go through with this, and every so often his eyes flinted to the door, desperately wanting to escape. But after a few minutes of having his ears petted and soft murmuring of reassurance from Sally his nerves started to calm, if just barely, and he took in another choked breath before he pulled away from Sally and stood in front of Bunnie.

“You get one shot, make it count,” Sonic murmured as he slipped off his shirt, but still held onto it with a death-like grip so that it was still within reach.

Bunnie got to work without another word. With Sonic’s height she did have to on occasion use her ladder-legs to get a more accurate measurement, and every time she did this Sonic would pointedly look away from her, his eyes fixated on a random spot in her hut.

Every touch from Bunnie also made him stiffen, his quills bristling whenever Bunnie had to linger for a little longer than he thought was necessary as his mind attempted to run away with ever possibility of why she was doing that. Whenever this happened Sally would snap her fingers to get his attention, then remind him to breathe by mimicking the motion herself. It would result in him taking another tense breath, though he would look a little calmer for it, if just barely.

The next challenge was asking for Sonic to strip further once Bunnie had gotten his upper body measurements down. Thankfully he was able to run through the motions of his panic in less time compared to when he had to remove his shirt, though it was obvious Sonic was getting to the end of his tolerance for the situation by this point.

All in all the whole session was about half an hour, as even with Sonic’s obvious discomfort Bunnie wanted to get as many measurements as she could just so she could avoid needing to ask him for more later down the line. But the moment Bunnie said she was done Sonic slipped back into his clothes and was out the door, not even bothering to put his shoes back on.

“Ah’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make that so uncomfortable for him,” Bunnie sighed.

“No, it’s okay. There’s just... a lot still going through his head, I think,” Sally explained. “Did you get what you needed though?”

“Ah did. ‘nd enough to guess anythin’ Ah missed, too,” Bunnie said. “Just leave it wit’ me. Y’know if he had any requests?”

“Just not too tight. So he can move around,” Sally said. “And... for other reasons, too, obviously.”

“Ah gotcha, no problem. Lemme know if y’need a hand wit’ him.”

Sally nodded, then headed back for her own hut, hoping Sonic was there and not on the other side of the planet by now.

Thankfully he was at her hut, though it took her a moment to find him as Sonic had buried himself under his bedcovers on his bed, a habit he had picked up since his return home. Sally resisted the urge to sigh as she sat down next to the lump of blankets and laid her hand on top of it, feeling it jump slightly at her touch.

“It’s okay, it’s just me,” Sally assured. “You did great.”

“Yeah right,” Sonic grumbled, his voice muffled. “That was embarrassin’.”

“Maybe, but you still did it,” Sally pointed out. “I saw how many times you wanted to run and you didn’t. Give yourself some credit there, Sonic.”

“Maybe another time, Sal.”

Sally patted at the blanket pile, hoping Sonic could feel it as she was sure there were at least ten odd blankets on him.

“Well I’m very proud of you.”

Sonic didn’t respond for a while, making Sally wonder if he had dozed off after fighting off his panic for so long. But after a few moments Sonic murmured a quiet thanks to her, and she smiled, before giving him one last pat through the blankets as she moved away to give him some space.

[they-reap-what-we-sow]

WEREHUNTERS AU AUTHOR'S COMMENTARY BABEY

after writing my werewolf hunters batfam au, i realized that as always, i had so much more to say that never made it into the fic SO

Welcome to my stream of consciousness rambling while i edit my fic and figure out what i meant to write when i said “TENSES???” halfway through the doc (spoiler alert it meant i had to change every single tense to present)

I wrote this fic coming off a high of like, 4 straight months of reading ONLY Teen Wolf fanfiction, so the rules of werewolves here are sort of based on the fanon characterization of the werewolves from TW.

I chose to use ‘Richard’ instead of ‘Dick’ when I wrote in Damian’s POV, and while it feels right, damn is it annoying to remember

The ages on the reverse robins part are nebulous honestly, but the general age order goes Damian, Duke, Tim, Steph, Jason, Dick, from oldest to youngest. Their age differences are about the same as in canon… but like, with a grain of salt. (timeline hard what can i say)

Tim gets to stay Tim, even in Damian’s POV, because I feel like that was a sticking point post whatever Tim’s Red Hood era was

and the rest is under the cut!

I think the relationship described here and at the other end of the fic slightly changed a little, but i like it for perspective reason’s so hopefully it makes sense

I do like my ominous drop off sentences…

This first ‘torture’ scene was what i built the idea of this fic off of.

May I Present, the Drama™: “Dick is a werewolf in a family of world-famous werewolf hunters.”

Writing Mary is so fun and so painful :’)

I had honestly planned to go for a much darker and feral Dick when I started this, but he turned into a much more poor little meow meow by the end

Did I cackle writing Bruce and Dick’s ironic first meeting? Yes absolutely I did.

I had to dig a plot hole to make it believable that NONE of a family of famous hunters realizes Dick is a wolf- but s hrugs at fanfic yanno

Forcibly asian-ifying the Waynes by making them wear house slippers askdfjhlasd

I have such a vivid image of the chandelier scene in my head, i really wish i could art properly so i could show yall- i hope the imagery was detailed enough

I use the word nest and physically cringe, no i dont mean it in an a/b/o way but like, i cant NOT think about it like that

The circus is such a pure and wonderful part of Dick’s childhood, I always love writing about it

Im at the part of the fic where i cackle over my decision making skills, I hope you’re all suffering so far : )

TENSE CHANGE AGAIN!!! Jesis how did i not mess this up

LOOK AT ME WRITING A FULL CIRCLE!!!! I really enjoyed starting the fic in scene without context, and then building up the context throughout until the climax, very professional writerly of me

These goodbyes were so bittersweet to write because I loved the angst in them, but it also felt like I was saying goodbye to the fic

The Titans that I’m referencing are Deathstroke’s Titans. Not for very important reasons other than it was lead by Slade Wilson, who’s the werewolf who managed to escape from the Waynes and identified them, and has Cassanda Cain’s Batgirl, because of a future plot point I’d imagined of Cass trying to ‘rescue’ Dick and relaizing that he’s not being horribly tortured at home.

I honestly had no idea what kind of weapons the Waynes fight with so like, its just “weapon” creative genius, yeah i know

Their hunter outfits are not quite exactly the canon outfits, im imagining a more like, Punk-Leather-Biker-Gang type style with inspirations from their canon suits

The reveal scene… I really hope I did the shock horror justice, it was a personal favorite.

DICK”S SAD LITTLE SPEECH - man he’s so whumpable

I feel kind of bad that Duke and Jason didn’t get to be part of the big final scene, but trust me, they take it just as well, if not better than the others.

BLOOD GORE AND MURDERRRRRRRRRR- its only right

The fic was supposed to end with the cuddling and scenting scene but my brother did a beta read for me and he was like, this is way too soft an ending for this fic, so violent revenge murder instead!

[seungmoroll]

Fractures | Mark Tuan

Word count: 1.3k

Genre: angst, fluff

Request: “Y/n didnt tell mark that she was sick/ injured as it was comeback season, until he found out unexpectedly. A fight broke out.”

A/n: this is set during last piece era. I hope all you guys enjoy this!

        If anyone were to ask you if you were ignoring Mark, you’d simply say no, but rather you were occupying your time with non-Mark related things. Plus, you didn’t want to distract Mark during this time as it was the last GOT7 comeback as GOT7 under JYP. You knew that this was special to Mark, to all of the guys. The last thing he needed was for you to bother him. Even if it meant you had to hold back some information from him.

        Sometime before the comeback, while Mark was busy preparing for it, you had a minor accident that resulted in you fracturing your wrist. You chose to not tell Mark about it, knowing that he would’ve made a big deal about it, and taken his time to take care of you. You knew he didn’t have time for him to take care of you with the comeback and all. However, the last thing you expected was for Mark to barge into your apartment late at night.

        “Mark? What’re you doing here?”

        Gently grabbing your fractured wrist, he asks you, “When were you planning on telling me about this?”

        “After the comeback?” you say innocently. Wanting to change the topic, you question, “How’d you find out anyways?”

        “Youngjae.” Internally you curse Youngjae. You thought you could trust him with this information.

        “Please don’t make a big deal about this. It’s just a fractured wrist.” Although you were happy to see Mark after such a long time, you didn’t necessarily like that fact that he was acting this way towards you.

        “Yeah, a fractured wrist that could get worse if you put too much strain on it. I know you Y/n, you don’t like it when others do things for you, so I know you’ve been doing everything by yourself as if it’s just a normal day, but it’s not. You should’ve told me, so I could’ve been here to take care of you.”

        Pressing a palm against Mark’s chest, signaling for him to stop talking, you go on to say, “First of all, I didn’t tell you because you were too busy with the comeback and I know how much this means to you; and second of all, don’t talk to me as if I’m a child Mark. I can take care of myself.”

        Scoffing, Mark responds, “Obviously not if you’ve managed to fracture your wrist doing such a simple task.”

        “Oh my gosh,” wanting to get away from Mark, you leave the room with Mark following your trail. “Don’t walk away from me Y/n. We’re not done talking.”

        “Well I am,” you say, slamming you bedroom door in Mark’s face.

        Knowing you well enough, Mark doesn’t try to get you to open the door. He knows that the two of you just needed some down to calm down. Retreating from the door, Mark decides to leave and go to the dance studio, thinking that dancing could distract him from his frustrations.

        From the other side of the door, you slowly sink down to the ground, listening to the door slam. You knew that Mark was being irrational, but only because you knew that he cared so much about you and didn’t like the thought of you being hurt.  Neither of you said it, but you knew Mark’s behavior was because he blamed himself for not being able to take care of you.

        Even prior to this comeback, you and Mark had rarely spent time with each other. Of course the time spent apart put a strain on your relationship, so the message was very clear that Mark’s anger was not about your fractured wrist, but about your fractured relationship. And like Mark said, things could get worse if you put too much strain on it.

        Deciding to be the bigger person, you grab your phone and send Mark a text, “Please come back.”

        20 minutes later you hear knocking at your door. Opening up the door, you are met with the sight of Mark with a sadden look on his face. Speaking at the same time, the two of you say, “I’m sorry.”

        Stepping aside to let Mark in, the two of you sit down on your couch to talk. Before you could say your thoughts, Mark speaks up, “Before you say anything, I want to speak first.”

        Gently grabbing your hand, Mark begins to say, “What happened earlier was blown out of proportion. I was too much; I shouldn’t have spoken that way to you. I’m afraid to admit this, but this comeback has taken a toll on me and I was throwing all my emotions at you. I’m sorry.”

        “Mark,” you call out to him, making him look you in the eyes, “It’s okay. I know that things have been rough for you. That’s why I didn’t think it was necessary to talk about my wrist, but you and I both know that this was much more than about my wrist and this comeback. This is about our relationship.”

        Sighing, Mark runs a hand over his tired face, “I know. It’s just that we’ve been so distant lately, and I just miss you. I miss your voice; I miss seeing your face; I miss you.”

        “I miss you too, Mark, but you could’ve just talked to me. I know you don’t like talking about your feelings like this, but you know I would never judge you.”

        “I just thought that once this comeback was over that we could go back to the way things were before. I’m going to have more free time after this, so we’ll be able to spend time with each other more, but I realize now that I shouldn’t have waited. I should’ve just came to you.” Listening to Mark explain everything to you made your heart ache. This moment of time was one of the hardest for Mark and you realize now that instead of ignoring him, you should’ve been there for him.

        “Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry that I haven’t been there for you. I haven’t really been supportive recently, but I just want you to know that, I’m proud of what you’ve done up to this point, and that I’ll support you every step of the way afterwards.”

        Bringing your hand up to his lips, Mark plants a kiss on the back of your hand, “You know I love you, right?”

        “Of course I do, and I love you too.”

        Once the two of you have fully made up, you guys decide to order take out and watch some Disney movies.

        “Don’t you have to go back to the company?” you ask Mark as you snuggle closer into his chest, waiting for your food to arrive.

        “Nah, I told them I wasn’t coming back tonight.” Slightly pulling away from him, you look up at him, “Oh, so you just knew we were going to make up and that you were going to be staying over?”

        “I had a feeling.” Mark says before he presses a kiss on your temple. Gently grabbing your injury, Mark plants a kiss on your wrist.

        “What was that for?” you ask him.

        “I heard kisses made booboos feel better.”

        Feeling playful, you say to him, “Well, if that’s the kiss, I think I have a boohoo on my lips.”

        “Oh? Do you now? Then let me do something for you.” Shutting your eyes, you wait for Mark to plant a kiss on your lips, but when you feel his lips land on the corner of your mouth, you smack Mark on the chest with a big pout on your face. “I think you missed.”

        “Did I now? Here, let me try again.”

        This time, when Mark does plant a kiss on your lips, a smile forms on your face, “Better. Though I think you still need to work on your aim. Why don’t you try again?”

        As the two of you lean in for another kiss, someone begins to knock on your door. Swiftly, Mark removes himself from underneath you, “Food’s here.” Internally, you curse the delivery man and decide that once Mark returns he owed you more kisses, to make up for all the kisses you missed.

masterlist

[quirklessidiot]

Title: first meetings [ii. the small pink-haired boy] Genre: just angst, drama, romance, historical fiction Pairing: Sorcerer!Sukuna x gn!sorcerer!reader (heian era; pre-curse sukuna)

Synopsis: in which you befriend the slave boy you’re supposed to spy on.

Warnings: not canon stuff, future dark themes,, smoll manga spoilers, slavery, whipping, mentions of rape, language and violence Notes: im kinda back i guess skksks also these are pretty much random au’s of my own take of sukuna’s back story uwu, theyre arranged in no particular order and you can read them in any order. This started out as a random one shot and i couldnt get it out of my head lol ksksksks, def not canon btw but it is canon that sukuna used to be an all powerful sorcerer before he turned to the dark side or smthng.

lil dictionary: non-person-  usually what they called slaves during the heian era.

masterlist [for other parts] ;; taglist 

“That’s beautiful.”

Contrasting to your rather clean and prestigious appearance, the young boy was dressed in rags and had dirt painted on his face. You could tell by his uncommon red eyes that he didn’t want you here nor did he even want to be associated with you.

“...the boy is rather prideful.” your otosan recounted a few nights before, you’d usually have conversations like this since you were quite close with him and he did like to confide you with these things,“but he has spirit, he’d be good for a ward.”

“What are you doing here?” He spat, being a part of and the sole heir of your family meant you were also treated with dignity and respect, it seemed like this boy wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone, this made you grin wildly much to his disdain, “Oi, stop grinning like that. You’re creeping me the fuck out.”

“I’m Y/N.”

“And I don’t care.” 

“Has anyone told you that you’ve got quite the temper?”

“Well, has anyone told you that you’re being an annoying bitch?” he bit back, five minutes into your first meeting, this strange boy seemed to want to get furthest away from you. He seemed to be rather ignorant to his overflowing cursed energy, your father was right, this boy was definitely no joke. 

“That’s sad.” You pouted, “All I wanted to say was how beautiful that Kimono is.”

“I was at a store, looking for some clothes that best suited you when I saw a young boy of your age…” your otosan narrated, “Who had a rather high cursed energy, he seemed unaware with it. He works as an errand boy, I believe, he carries heavy clothes and silk… His looks are hard to miss Y/N, so I’m sure you won’t miss him...try to talk to him…”

The boy looks up to you, completely annoyed, “Well, you said it. Now fuck off, yeah?”

You chose to ignore him and just bend down to his level, you had no training for today so you might as well join the boy for a moment since you had time to kill, “You know, if you keep keeping that attitude up, you might scare the customers away.” you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.

“Yeah?” he clicked his tongue, “Looks to me that you aren’t even here to buy anything.”

“He seemed rather…” Your otosan described, “perplexed...so you might as well go in my stead…”

“Ah.” your grin doesn’t seem to fade despite his rather rough way of speaking, “You just seemed around my age so I got interested.”

“No shit, now buzz off. I got no time for kids like you.”

He talks as if he was older than you, it’s no surprise. Boys like him tend to think they know quite a lot.

“Do you wish to tell me your name now?”

He was silent for a moment.

That’s when realization dawned upon you, why he seemed perplexed around your otosan, why he thinks you were an annoying buzz, and why he couldn’t reply when you asked for his name. You feel yourself inwardly cringe at your mistake, it seems like the boy your father took interest in is a slave with no name, “Twenty.” he mumbles, shrugging nonchalantly.

“What?”

“They call me twenty.” he recounts, his voice is still rough around the edges, remaining uncensored by his identity.

“Right…” you tilt your head, “Twenty…”

“You’ve got silks to bring to the next town, boy!” a loud voice calls out, cutting you short, making the pink-haired boy put the pretty kimono down and back for display. Without even sparing you a glance or a word, he retreats to the back and you’re left squatting there alone. You watch him from behind, specifically at the bandages that peeked through his wrists.

The boy had piqued your interest to the point that you made it your weekly agenda to visit him and a-some-nights agenda to watch over him. He still ignores you and seems to be annoyed by you every time but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it so you just sit there. 

You were also still in awe by how much raw energy he possessed, you’d ask your otosan if he knew any sorcerers with lost children because it surely seemed as if this boy wasn’t ordinary.

“Just keep an eye on him,” was all your father said as you watch the boy close up shop late at night from on top of a roof, “He might make a great sorcerer and shift the tides.”

Your otosan was not one for gambling on people but it seemed like he made a large bet on this boy. 

As usual, you’re watching over him close up. It’s late and the owner of the place walks out, a pipe on his lips. Right then and there, he slaps the pink-haired teenager right at the face, “You should’ve joined the customer awhile ago in the dressing room, boy.” he growls, “It would’ve been quick…”

You feel the negative energy emit stronger than ever and your grip on your knife is tight, “Don’t get involved, Y/N.” your otosan’s warning echoes in your head, yes your otosan may have been interested in him but he was never one to dwell in human affairs, saying they were annoying and a mess to clean up.

“...It seems like the lesson a few nights ago wasn’t enough.” you snap back to reality and watch his boss stretch out a whip with its pointy ends and you feel your blood run cold. 

‘Don’t get involved-’

You ignore your otosan’s words in your head and throw a stone right at a nearby sign, resulting in a booming clang, making the cat nearby yelp outloud. The pink-haired boy jumps on the spot and so does the older man at the sound.

“Ah fucking-” the older man curses, tucking the whip back in, “No food for you for three days. Know your fucking worth, non-person.”

Your grip on your nodachi lessens as you let out a sigh of relief, whatever legal terms your father must be talking about needs to be done quickly.

On the next day, you’re on your way to visit him again. Carrying the bento box that you know he’ll refuse again because of his ‘pride’ yet you stop dead on your tracks when you find his owner and an older man talking, Sukuna seems to be standing behind them, looking quite uncomfortable.

It didn’t take two and two to guess what was going on, the amount of cursed energy leaking on him was strong so you could only guess this was the man who wanted to get his way on him yesterday. Your nose crinkles in absolute disgust, “Don’t get involved-”

Once again, you ignore your otosan’s words.

“Hey!” You call out, you see his red eyes widen, “What are you doing?”

The older man frowns at your sudden appearance, “None of your business brat. Now go home-”

“I said,” You repeated, your voice dangerously low, “What are you doing to him?”

“He’s a non-person, kid.” his ‘owner’ growls, you notice his hands dangerously close to his whip, “A fucking slave in simpler terms, now get the fuck out before I beat him and you.”

“You don’t scare me.” Your eyes are narrowed, truthfully, no one ever scares you. You were the heir of your clan. It was to be expected and drilled since your curse energy manifested when you were five that fear would come last, “Now unhand the boy.”

“This bitch-”

“Now, now.” The other man smiles, cutting the pink-haired boy’s ‘owner’ off,  “Maybe I can take that young child with me too. After all, they seem to be good friends. Two is better than one…”

You watch the other older man snake an arm on the young boy’s shoulder and you could feel the fear leaking out, it was harder to mask and hide now. 

“Is it alright to put a little scar on’em? So that they’d know-” He gets ready to take out the whip while your fists are clenched, this would be easy. You could get away with this later, at least you’d take the boy away from this place and help him control his energy after. 

Yet before you’re able to land a blow, the pink-haired boy yells at you to move as his ‘owner’ takes out a whip to whip you.

For someone who didn’t seem to like your presence, he was rather quick to defend you, having his face get hit in the process by the sharp whip. Your eyes widen in surprise, “Ah, shit… Y/N, run!” he yells but you’re staring at his very bloody face.

It would obviously leave marks like the wrists and who knows which parts since he was always covered by that very loose raggedy kimono.

You clench your fists tightly and look up from his blood features, the ‘owner’ stops on his tracks when he meets your very cold gaze, “Do you know who you just messed with?” you asked, “You really think I won’t tell my otosan that you planned to make me your prostitute?”

“Y-Y/N, jesus christ just fucking run-” he tried to stutter out, any evidence of the prideful and strong boy who tried to shoo you away was now gone.

Yet like the stubborn child you are, you ignore him and instead take out your family seal and drop it in front of them, ignoring the pink-haired boy’s plea’s and watching the two men in front of you turn white as a ghost as they see the nameplate, “My name is Ryomen Y/N.” You stated, voice loud and clear, “And you better hope that I’ll let you out here dead or me and my otosan will hunt you down for the rest of your life.”

taglist [if your name is crossed out, i cant tag you!] @shinhiromi ;; @hcn421 ;; @airybnb ;; @coldbookworm ;; @kristineyoshaii ;; @frankenstein852​

@iguessimastannnow

[secretlysheikah]

Slowed

I have created another one shot in honor of hitting 300 followers on the blog! I don’t know where you all came from, but welcome. My name is Sheikah and I want all of your tears. 

So to thank you all for deciding to join me as I wonder aimlessly and create angst for you all to consume. You are amazing and have helped me through more than you guys know. I love you all. And to show you, I wrote pain! :D

enjoy!

Start here:

Metal clashed loudly in the clearing making Wild’s ears ring painfully. He was amazed that he could still hear the other’s shouts and warnings over the din of blades and monster roars. Wild stood near the edge of the skirmish, hesitant to get any closer to the others as they fought. He was still wary about accidentally hurting any of them, even though he had been fighting with others for a few weeks now. Early on Time had arranged practices with all of them fighting together so he could get the feel for fighting as a large group but still, the worry lingered like a ghost. So he hung back and cut through the enemies that tried to overwhelm the heroes fighting in the center. 

The attack had been a surprise, monsters from different eras came spilling out by the dozens into the clearing where they had been planning on making camp for the night. The sudden onslaught forced most of them into a tight group at the center of the would be camp. All of them, except Wild who had rushed to the outskirts of the fray unwilling to get too close to the whirling blades of the others but desperate to help in his own way. So he ducked and spun under spears, dodged savage swings of swords and all the while worked to help thin the hoard. His cloak felt wet from the black blood that splattered onto it with more being added by the second though that didn’t slow his frenzied attacks.

The tides of the battle seemed to be turning in their favor as the monsters continued to fall when there was a desperate shout from the center of the group. Wild whipped around, hood falling off of his head as he looked towards the call. Four had been cut off from the others by three large dog looking monsters, his shield was raised as he defected attack after attack but Wild could tell the young man was struggling. Four’s eyes looked crazed and he couldn’t seem to find an opening to fight back or gain more ground. His headband, slightly askew, was covered in red and black and Wild felt his throat close up when a particularly harsh blow knocked the shield out of his hand. One of the dog monsters reared back, a triumphant smile filled with sharp teeth and brought it’s sword down in a powerful arcing slice with obvious delight. There was nowhere for Four to go, nothing he could do and Wild’s feet were moving before his brain could catch up.  

Wild shouted Four’s name as he darted forward, summoning a bow he knocked three arrows as he went. He dashed in front of Four and leapt into the air and felt the familiar slowing of time as he focused and took aim. He could see Four’s eyes slowly widening in his peripheral vision, felt as the sword, meant for Four pressed hard against the skin just under his right ribs and fired.

The arrows found their marks in the eyes of the three beasts, and they let out morphed roars of pain and rage as they stumbled back and away from the pair. When Wild’s feet touched ground time seemed to slam back into full motion once again. The sounds of battle sounded muted to his ears as Wild summoned a new blade from his slate and threw it as hard as he could into the throat of the monster that was about to strike Four. The beast gave a garbled cry, sank to its knees as it clutched at the hilt before it fell to the ground dead. 

More roars from the other recovering monsters had Wild spinning around searching for a weapon. In a blink he grabbed the smaller hero’s sword out of his slack hand before spinning back around to face the remaining threats. In two swipes of the borrowed blade Wild decapitated the other two monsters that had lumbered their way closer with ease. Their bodies crashed heavily onto the ground. The force of the fall sent strong rumbles through the earth under their feet before they watched the beasts melt away, leaving a smear of black in their place. Determining the threats were well and truly handled, Wild straightened, his cloak falling closed around him and turned to face Four with a sheepish smile and offered the sword back. 

“Sorry for taking it, I didn’t think I had time to summon another one,” Wild whispered and watched as Four slowly took the sword back. His eyes were flashing a myriad of colors and his mouth worked as he tried to articulate what he was thinking. 

“How did you do that?” Four asked and Wild tilted his head unsure what the other was asking. 

“Do what?” 

“The arrows, the, the time, everything slowed down, you were so fast, how?” Four stammered, eyes still flashing odd colors in the light. Wild blinked at him unsure as to what to say. Four had noticed the time slow down? He thought that was all in head, something born of adrenaline and the need to act. Something fluttered at the edge of his memory and a low thrum of dread pounded at his heart.  

“You have to teach me,” Four said, his eyes a bright blue as a wide smile spread across his face in obvious excitement. Wild could feel red creeping into his cheeks, too many emotions were happening all at once and he didn’t know what to focus on. He pulled his hood over his face to hide the blush, and he let out a shaky little laugh and felt his tongue growing numb. 

“Well I mean, I didn’t even know, really that it wasn’t... I mean to say I don’t even know how… To… “ Wild stammered but found he couldn’t speak anymore. His breathing was starting to quicken, ringing tickled the edges of his hearing. His heart dropped when he finally registered the way his limbs felt like they were beginning to lock up. No, please, not here, not now. He couldn’t tell if the sound of battle behind them was starting to die down or if the growing ringing in his ears was blocking out the sound. He swallowed down the rising panic, aware that Four was tilting his head in curiosity. Things were starting to grow distant and he grit his teeth and forced the feeling back as hard as he could. 

“Wild? Are you okay?” Four asked and Wild managed to nod and gave a small smile which he hoped was convincing. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, I think I’m going to go check the woods, make sure we’re alone,” Wild said quickly and forced his stiffening legs to walk out of the clearing. He could hear a stammered ‘oh okay,’ come from Four before he pushed his way through the bushes and into the peace of the woods. He couldn’t let the others see, he didn’t want them to see. He felt warmth on his side and he pressed a half numbed palm against it, only just managing to register the red that coated it. Oh Hylia above why now, he didn’t have time for this, this couldn’t be happening.     

The ringing in his ears was becoming louder and louder and he searched for a place to hide. He stumbled over a root and threw out a hand to steady himself and noted how his fingers were growing stiffer as the memory pulled at him. He let out a whine and threw himself forward, desperate to find cover. He only managed a few more steps before his shoulder connected with  a tree and he spun to the ground though he barely felt the impact. 

Everything was going numb, his limbs were little better than stone but he managed to crawl behind a tree. He pressed his back against the trunk, it would have to do, he couldn’t hold the memory back any longer. A shudder ran through his frame, the forest grew dim and distant around him as it was replaced by the bright light of a different time and place. His last thought of the present was the hope that he didn’t bleed out before the memory was through.

 Then he was gone. 

*****

Link was breathing hard, the weight of the armor weighed him down but he smiled despite the heat and the weight that wrapped around him. His superior was in much the same way, except for the scowl that graced his face. The Captain held his sword high as a flush of red colored his cheeks. His fellow soldiers jeered at the man and it was hard not to join them. 

He hadn’t been hit once during their little sparring session and Link could tell the Captain was getting frustrated. The taller man dashed forwards again and Link let him sword held at the ready and watched as the older man swung his blade. Time almost felt like it was slowing down as he spun easily away and landed another hit on the shiny metal of his superior’s back. More jeers and whoops of laughter came from the small crowd and Link couldn’t stop the small smile growing on his face. 

 He knew what his superiors meant to do when they demanded he spar with them. This was meant to show that even though he had been chosen to wield the Master sword, he was still nothing compared to them and he would be damned before he let that stand. The Captain stumbled forwards before spinning around and leveling a harsh glare at him. The man was practically beside himself with rage and Link felt his own eyes harden at the look. It wasn’t his fault the Captain telegraphed his moves so openly, he’d be a fool to ignore the obvious tells. He gave the Captain a small smile and a jaunty wave and revealed in the man’s deepening flush. 

The Captain held Link’s stare for a moment before he lowered his blade and gestured for his subordinate to come to his side. Link blinked slowly at the pair and feigned an air of nonchalance as they whispered to each other. To be completely honest he didn’t like the looks they were giving each other. He sighed, planted his blade into the soft overturned earth at his feet and removed his helmet to wipe at his brow. 

“What’s the hold up?” One man cried from the sidelines followed by laughter and more jabs. 

“Can’t hold a candle to that boy!”

“Well my money is still on the Captain.” 

“You’re a fool, I hope you like losing your rupees,”

The banter continued on for a few more minutes until the Captain turned and commanded silence. His face was a bright flush of fury and his fellow soldiers stopped their conversions so fast it was like the sound had been cut off. The Captain made a gesture, cried another command and everyone snapped to attention and waited for their orders. 

“Training has concluded for the day. Get to the barracks and wash up for dinner. Anyone found exchanging rupees will be whipped for insubordination, dismissed,” The Captain barked and looked over his shoulder at him. Link could feel that the cold stare he was sending him  threatened violence. Link stared back, unblinking as he too made his way to leave the clearing.  

“Not you,” the Captain hissed and Link slowed to a stop, squeezing the hilt of his sword tightly before he nodded stiffly, replaced his helmet and stood at attention. The Captain turned to face him and they both stared at each other while they waited for the others to depart. There were grumbles and muted complaints as the group of men shuffled off towards the barracks but Link paid them no mind. He watched the Captain’s eyes sharpen as he stared at him and he matched the stare with one of his own and he could feel his jaw tightening ever so slightly as he did so. It only took a minute for the men to leave the three of them in clearing but it felt like an age, and Link felt ready to snap by the time the Captain finally addressed him.      

“How, tell us how boy,” The Captain commanded and Link felt confusion slam into him so hard he almost staggered in surprise. As it was he just blinked at the two men stupidly for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. Hell he didn’t even know what the other man was talking about. He racked his brain and tried to remember what he did that could have sparked this situation but came up with nothing.

Link eyed the two men that stood before him and noted the various levels of frustration, anger and a dark curiosity that hung about them like a cloud. The Captain had his fists curled at his sides and the lackey had his  arms crossed with a faint look of disgust on his face as they waited for him to explain whatever it was they thought he did. It seemed to be a constant thing with these two. The Captain, angry and fuming and his lackey, haughty and mildly disgusted as they berated him or demanded answers to questions he simply had no answers for. 

The Captain was practically shaking with rage when Link didn’t answer fast enough, and he drew his sword from its sheath. Link felt his eyes widen in surprise, his mind spun at the clear threat and he felt distinctly off kilter and on edge. The sword he had been using for practice hung down at his side nearly forgotten. The tip of the blade wavered as his quickly fading fatigue mixed with his confusion and the sudden spike of adrenaline that made his muscles jump.   

“I don’t understand, what do you mean?” Link asked, feeling his confusion building into a steady thrum of apprehension and suspicion. Was this some sort of trick to somehow get him sent to the whipping post? But why? He couldn’t make heads or tails of the odd question. What was he supposed to be explaining?  

“Don’t be stupid, you know what you did. How boy, tell me how,” The Captain spat as he stalked forward, his sword knocked Link’s own sword away before he shoved him hard. Link stumbled back unsure where the anger was actually coming from now. He doubted it was just due to humiliation now, but he couldn’t figure out what it could be. 

“Sir, please, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Link pleaded, raising his sword to block a sloppy swipe that was sent his way. 

“The time boy, you move too fast to be natural.” The Captain snarled, sword rising again as he lunged forward. Link felt his eyes widen and he took a couple of hasty steps back. His sword moving in quick blocks to keep the other’s sword from hitting him.   

“I felt time slow down when you dodged me, you slowed down time and I want to know how,” Link blinked in surprise letting his guard fall for a moment too long and felt the Captain's sword connect with his arm. A hard reverberation rattled the bones in his arm and he gasped and pulled away, arm stinging. The look on the other man’s face had Link’s heart freezing in his chest. His cheeks were still flushed but he could see a malevolent gleam flashing in his dark eyes. His skin crawled at the look, and he bit down on the fear and steadied his stance.

“I assure you I don’t know what you’re on about,” Link said as calmly as he could, all the while analyzing the way the Captain held his sword to where his feet were planted. The Captain shifted his weight slightly and Link moved to match, taking great pains to watch the micromovements of the man’s sword. He didn’t know how to defuse the situation, so he had to settle for staying on guard and waiting for the next swing. 

Which was why he was surprised by the harsh blow that connected with his side, knocking the air out of his lungs in a harsh gasp. The subordinate, that bastard, had taken advantage. The world spun slightly as he turned to face the other man and he worked at gaining his breath back. His side felt almost numbed and a faint note of worry played in the back of his mind but he didn’t have the time to pay it much mind.    

“That was a dirty move,” Link wheezed slightly as he focused on making sure his sword didn’t bob too much. He hated how his hands shook, hated how the two men smiled at one another. 

“No no, that was war. Maybe this is just the thing to get you to show us how you do your little magic trick,” The Captain said before he sent a nod to his subordinate and they both began to move closer. Link swallowed hard and gripped his sword tighter as he watched them start to circle him. The Captain made the first move, stepping in close with a wild jab which he parried but had to duck away quickly when the subordinate's sword came whistling by his head. Link grunted at the movement feeling an odd pull at his otherwise numb side as he moved. However there wasn’t time to ponder it before another sword came sweeping in low. 

“Come on boy! Surely you can figure it out” the subordinate jeered as he moved in quickly with another flurry of quick jabs causing Link to shuffle and twist to avoid them. 

“This is madness!” Link shouted, feeling the Captain at his back and rolling out of the way of a brutal downwards strike that just missed his shoulder. He felt the world roll with him in a sickening spiral and it was all he could do to get unsteadily to his feet. He barely knocked away another sword swing that came in fast aiming to harm. Because that’s what they were trying to do, that’s what they were always trying to do he thought bitterly as he continued to block and parry. 

Link made a sloppy swipe at one of the men and took a step back then another. He was desperate to gain more ground between him and these people who were meant to be training him, but the world dipped around him. His feet grew clumsy and slow and his heel caught on a stone sending him crashing into the dirt. 

He couldn't get enough air in, he felt woozy and lightheaded. The training yard was blacking out around the edges and he just managed to roll out of the way of a strike before it could cleave his armor in two. Now fully convinced they were trying to kill him, Link struggled to scramble backwards eyes darting around at the two men who were laughing and coming closer. 

“What’s the matter boy?” One of them asked, but his tongue wouldn’t cooperate. He tried to blink away the black, tried to move back more but it was like he was trying to move through thick tar. His arms gave out and he flopped back onto the upturned dirt, head spinning and side aching. A shadow blotted out the fading light above him and he blinked in confusion as a hand roughly jostled his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, only tried and failed to move away when a hand gripped his wrist pulled it away from his side. He hissed in pain but there wasn’t anything he could do, his strength felt like it was bleeding away.  

“Ah Hell, looks like you managed to cut him,” The voice of the Captain said just above him and he felt himself being turned roughly on his side. Fingers tugged at the edges of his armor and pain flared through his side as they landed on something tender. 

“Great, I broke him. Well if he was better at defending himself this wouldn’t have been a problem,” The subordinate scoffed before Link felt himself being kicked back onto his back once again. Link let out a wheezing breath and flopped his hand roughly against his side feeling for the damage but all he could find was the slice in his armor that seemed to be slick with what had to be blood. 

“Well what do we do with this? Mark it up as a training accident?” The subordinate asked and the Captain let out a quick bark of unamused laughter. 

“Ha, and deal with a tongue lashing? I don’t think so, not for this whelp,” He said and Link watched through half fogged eyes as the Captain stood from where he had been crouching and looked down at him. 

“Is that camp of bokos still lurking around the barracks?” The Captain asked and was answered by an affirmative grunt from the subordinate. Even through the encroaching darkness that was swallowing up his vision, Link could see the devilish smiles that were quickly spreading across the men’s faces. His fingers twitched in the dirt, but that seemed to be all the strength he could muster. 

“We’re going to have to make this look convincing,” the subordinate said, sheathing his sword and moving closer. 

“What if he says something?” He asked as an afterthought and Link felt as hands pulled his helmet roughly from his head and tossed it away with a clatter. Link let his head loll to the side for a moment before he pulled himself back from drifting off. 

“It will be his word against ours, I wouldn’t worry too much,” the Captain said with a sniff as he bent down close and patted his cheek. Link glared at him with all the defiance he could manage. The Captain snorted and gave his cheek a bit of a harder strike that made Link’s eye’s flutter a moment at the sharp sting. 

“We will continue this later, gotta figure out how you do that little trick of yours after all,” He said with a sharp smile. If Link could have said anything he would have raged his defiance, to Hell with the punishments they would have rained down upon him. The Captain seemed to sense what he wanted to say because he let out a low, dangerous chuckle and adjusted his grip on his sword. 

“But for now you’ve got other things to worry about, ” the Captain sneered as he reared back and cracked the pommel of his sword against the side of Link’s head making the world and everything in it disappear in a blink. 

*****

The first thing Wild became aware of when the memory dissipated was the feeling of pressure on his side. The next was the feeling of a bone aching cold that had seeped into his fingertips. He let himself drift for a second, swimming in the lingering disconnect that followed the wake of a remembered memory before awareness and panic flooded his limbs. He had been hurt, bleeding out, he was dying. He gasped and grabbed unsteadily at his side desperate to apply pressure and stop the bleeding but found someone else’s hands already there. Confusion and a muted terror had him scrambling, he didn’t know where he was or who or what had gotten so close to him. 

“Stop, Wild stop!” A gruff voice commanded him but he couldn’t stop himself from continuing to struggle. There was a curse and suddenly the pressure was gone from his side and instead someone was grabbing at his arms. He squirmed in the grip for a moment before his brain caught up with the situation. He blinked and suddenly the world was back in focus and he was staring at the hero of Twilight who was looking at him with a mixture of concern and anger. 

“Damn it Wild, listen to me!” Twilight shouted and Wild felt himself cringe at the sudden rebuke and he quickly stopped moving. Twilight gave him a quick once over, making sure that he had his attention before he went back to pressing a cloth against the slice on Wild’s side. Wild couldn’t help but notice how Twilight’s hands were covered in red and he swallowed thickly. 

“What were you thinking, running off like that?” Twilight scolded as he pressed a bit harder against his side. Wild winced and feeling the desperate need to hide, he pulled at his hood until it covered his face. Twilight apparently didn’t notice his discomfort and continued on as he dug through his pack with one hand, searching for something. 

“How did you find me?” Wild asked in a small voice, and was graced with a stern glare. 

“Four tipped me off that you had run off and the nifty trail of bloody hand prints were a huge help,” He dead panned as he let out a gasp of triumph and forced a bottle of potion into Wild’s shaking hands. 

“Were you trying to hide this from us? You gotta know we don’t do that sort of thing, Hyrule will murder you himself if he ever finds out that you’re hiding an injury,” Twilight started as he gestured for him to drink. 

“What, n-no I wasn’t, I didn’t, I just...” Wild squawked as he fumbled with the cork in the bottle. Nerves and blood loss made the task close to impossible and Twilight grabbed the bottle away and removed the cork and handed it back roughly. 

“You weren’t? Because that's what it looked like to me kid, now drink the damn potion,” He said hotly and Wild could feel humiliated tears prick at the corners of his eyes. 

“You scared the Hell out of me!” Twilight continued to rage as he lifted the edge of the cloth away to judge the damage. 

“I was calling for you, and you didn’t answer! Then imagine my horror as I stumbled across you leaning against a damn tree, pale, eyes distant and staring and covered in blood. Hylia help me, I thought you were already dead!” Twilight said and Wild felt shame burning at his throat. He glanced to the side and saw Twilight eyeing him and he hastily sipped at the red potion, grimacing at the bitter taste.  

“Why did you leave?” Twilight asked softly and somehow that tone of voice was even worse than the yelling. Wild swallowed down the lump in his throat, and took another sip of potion before he answered. 

“I was checking for more monsters,” he began lamely before he was cut off by a snort. 

“Bullshit, tell me the truth, Wild! Are you intimidated by us? Did we do something to make you want to hide your injuries? We wouldn’t think you weak for asking for help you know, we would never,” Twilight continued and Wild felt like he was trapped. His foot bounced in irritation and it was all he could do to sit still. 

“No nothing it’s like that!” Wild said quickly and Twilight offered him a confused look in response.

“Then why?” He implored leaning in close so he could look into Wild’s eyes that were hidden beneath the hood. 

“Because I’m broken okay!” Wild shouted suddenly, making Twilight flich at the unexpected volume of the response. Wild’s breaths were quickening as he clung desperately to the bottle in his hands like it was a lifeline. Twilight opened and closed his mouth for a moment not sure what to say. The sight would have been funny if it weren’t for the current situation. 

“Everything was going so well, I thought I had them under control and then just now I felt myself slipping and I couldn’t let you guys see, I didn’t want you to know, not yet,” Wild was babbling he knew but he couldn’t get himself to stop. 

“I thought it would be quick, just a minute or two and I would be fine, but as I was looking for a place to ride it out I noticed the blood and I couldn’t do anything besides hope I wouldn’t be too long,” He was practically hyperventilating now, and Twilight was staring at him wide eyed. 

“Hey, hey calm down, just breathe for a moment.” Twilight soothed as he shuffled closer and placed his free hand on his shoulder. Wild nodded quickly but that was easier said than done. 

His mind was racing, ‘once Twilight finds out he is going to tell the others,’ Wild thought to himself and that thought was enough to shoot panic through his core once again. Twilight will tell them and then they will throw him away. It was clear that he is too broken to be helpful. What team would want someone who could freeze up at any moment, at any possible trigger at any possible time? He was a liability, and now they would all know. 

“I need you to calm down and explain a couple of things please,” He said slowly, like he was trying to calm a wild animal. 

“And while you do that, can you please work on finishing that potion, it will help you feel better,” Twilight coaxed tapping the side of the bottle with a blood stained finger. Wild took a couple more gulping breaths of air and nodded before he sipped on the bitter liquid again. When he was a modicum more calm he began to explain. 

“My adventure, it wasn’t, exactly a smooth one.” He started and already his voice sounded horse and raw. Twilight nodded and gestured for him to continue. 

“I was, still am I suppose, living with the effects of my adventure. I had lost my memories you see, and during my quest I would get these flashes of my past memories.” He said distantly as he looked everywhere except at Twilight. He gave a light cough and continued. 

“These flashes have the unfortunate side effect of me freezing up. Sometimes for a few seconds, other times for minutes at a time. It appears this one just past was one of the longer ones.” He whispered and he could feel Twilight lean in and tap the bottle once more. Wild took another drink, this time not really tasting the disgusting flavor. 

“I’ve had a couple while I have been traveling with you all. Up to this point they were smaller ones, easy to hide for the most part. But this time it seems I got… Unlucky,” He said before finally downing the last of the potion in one quick swig. He felt a chill run down his spine and he handed the empty bottle back over to Twilight who took it slowly. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” He asked as he finally dropped his hands away from the bloodied cloth and stowed away the bottle. 

“Why? I was scared. Scared that once you all found out... “ Wild began and was stopped by a gentle hand on his shoulder. He finally looked over at Twilight and found a sad, worried look plastered across his face. 

“You thought we would, what? Throw you out?” He asked and Wild felt a twinge in his heart at the hurt tone that colored Twilight’s voice. 

“Look, I know I am a liability, don’t pretend I’m not. I don’t know what could trigger a memory or when, or even how long they could last. I figured that once you all found out that I am broken beyond repair, that for the good of the whole, you would… “ He couldn’t even finish the sentence. His throat burned too much and just the thought of admitting it hurt his soul. 

“We would never, we all have our secrets Wild. This doesn’t make you broken or even a liability really. It would have been better to have known this sooner, we could have made sure to keep an eye on you to make sure you were safe,” Twilight sighed as he scooted closer and sat next to him. Wild felt the lump in his throat again and he couldn’t find the words to respond. 

“I can understand where you’re coming from though, but this is a good group you can trust,” Twilight said as he tugged at Wild’s sleeve, pulling him closer so he could wrap his arm around his shoulders. 

“How can you be so sure?” Wild muttered thickly. He felt the effects of the red potion as it finished healing him. His head came to rest on the soft pelt that wrapped around Twilight’s shoulders and he sighed. Twilight hummed as he considered how to answer. 

“Well, the people that know my secret haven’t said a word. They trust that I will let the other’s know when I feel comfortable,” Twilight said and Wild leaned away wobbily to look at him. 

“You have a secret?” He asked and noted how his voice sounded just a touch slurred. Twilight chuckled and pulled him close once again.

“I do. In fact how about this, I can tell you’re worried I will tell the others. I know I would be, so I will tell you mine. That way you can tell the other’s my secret if I tell them yours. Does that sound fair to you?” Twilight asked, giving Wild’s shoulders a little squeeze. He thought over the offer for a moment before asking a question of his own.

“What if your secret is something mundane, like…” Wild waved his hand around for a moment as he tried to think of something. 

“Like you secretly like the taste of radishes, or something like that?” He asked and Twilight let out a loud bellowing laugh. 

“You don’t like radishes?” He asked and Wild pulled away again to level a look at him.

“No one likes radishes Twi, anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something,” Wild watched as Twilight practically sobbed with mirth and waited patiently for him to finish. 

“I promise, my secret is way bigger than that. Now do we have a deal? You look about three seconds away from falling asleep and we still need to make it back to camp.” He said and Wild huffed and nodded as he laid his aching head against the farmer’s pelted shoulder again.

“Alright then, you know that wolf that shows up every once in a while in camp, or to bring you and Hyrule back to the group?” Twilight asked tapping against Wild’s forehead to get his attention before he slowly helped him to his feet. Wild wobbled a bit as he regained his footing, and Twilight took his arm  and laid it across his shoulders, baring some of Wild’s weight. Wild sagged against him gratefully and together they slowly started back towards camp. 

“Well that wolf isn’t what it seems,” Twilight hedged and Wild snorted. 

“Yeah we all know that the wolf isn’t a wild one, come on Twi. If your secret is that that wolf is your pet then you’re gonna have to do better than that,” Wild scoffed and he could feel Twilight shaking ever so slightly where his hands held onto him. 

“You are kind of right, that wolf is not wild.” Twilight said and Wild eyed him and waited.

“I know this because I am, in fact, that wolf,” Twilight said and Wild felt his jaw fall open in surprise. He had not been expecting that and he found his next question tumbling out of him before he could really register what he had just been told. 

“You’re the what now?” Wild gaped and he could feel the tremor grow more pronounced. Twilight coughed and refused to look at him. 

“I am that wolf. It is one of the… I guess you called it side effects from my adventure.” Twilight said as they moved through the brush towards camp. Wild had to actively work to close his mouth. He hated to admit it but he was having a hard time wrapping his brain around it. Whether that was due to the blood loss and the potion he had taken, or simply just the oddity that was Twilight’s admission was yet to be seen. 

“Twi, are you serious?” He asked and he watched as Twilight swallowed. Now it was his turn to look at everything else around them.

“I am serious, and I don’t know how the others haven’t figured that out yet. I mean look at the marks on my skin for the love of the Goddess.” He said with a nervous chuckle. Wild nodded slowly, not really sure what to say. He could tell that this was a big secret that he just entrusted to him and that made a warm glow bloom in his chest. Wild could feel a smile slowly spreading across his face at the thought. He felt honored that Twilight was willing to put his trust in him and it was at that moment that he knew he would never betray Twilight.  

“You can trust me Twi, I will never tell a soul under one condition, you answer a question for me,” Wild said and he felt Twilight stiffen under his arm. 

“Okay, what is your burning question then?” He asked and Wild felt a grin spread across his face. 

“Do you actually like radishes?”

[galactic-magick]

Careful Not to Lose Her: Agnes x Reader

Request: Is it okay for me to request an Agnes x Female reader fic imagine where reader meets her for the first time and calls her beautiful? Like she just randomly compliments Agnes and Agnes is surprised by that and gets shy but returns it? And maybe the two start flirting with one another all the time and maybe reader stops for a bit as she spends more time with Wanda (helping her with the kids) and Agnes feels jealous and stops talking and reader is all confused and confronts her and Agnes admits her feelings for her are true? 😊 I'm happy ppl r writing for her lmao I love her! And maybe they share a kiss 👀 (sorry this was a long request hah)

Summary: You and Anges become very close, but when you have to help Wanda with the kids more often it strains your relationship.

Words:  1300+

Warnings: light angst

Author’s Notes: I wrote this imagining it happening in the 80s/early 90s era, but you can probably picture it whenever you want.

-

-

-

You hear the doorbell ring, and Wanda gets up and smiles, “Oh that’s probably just Agnes, I’ll introduce you,”

You nod, pushing yourself off the couch as well. You haven’t met many people in town yet besides Wanda and her family, so you’re interested to meet some more hopefully friendly faces.

“Hiya neighbor!” Agnes waltzes in. “Who’s your new friend?”

“Oh this is Y/N! She just moved in across the street,” Wanda says. “Y/N, this is Agnes,”

“Hey!” you shake her hand. “Wow, you’re beautiful,”

Her mouth falls open a bit, and her hand freezes in yours, “Well I…gosh you’re too kind,” after taking a moment to process what you just said, she bursts out laughing, “Not too bad yourself, hun,”

You grin, following Wanda back to the couches to chat some more. She and Agnes tell you everything you need to know about the town, who to befriend, who to avoid, and where to spend your time. Wanda introduces you to her twin boys and her husband when he gets home from work, who eyes you a bit suspiciously. Wanda assures you he just has a cautious personality towards new people, so you try to shrug it off and not take it too personally.

“Well, I think I’m gonna head out, maybe stop by the gym for a bit,” Agnes announces, heading towards the door. “Would you like to come, Y/N?”

“Oh! I mean, sure! But I didn’t bring any workout clothes…”

As if out of thin air, Wanda hands you a set, in your exact size and favorite colors.

“How did you-“

Vision sets a hand on her shoulder, “Darling I thought we talked about not using your pow-“

“Eeeeer you go! Have fun you two!” Wanda smiles, pushing you and Agnes out the door.

You look at Agnes as the door slams behind you, “Did I miss something?”

“Oh no, those two have always been weird,” she shrugs. “I’ve stopped asking questions,”

“Huh…”

“Anyway, let’s go! Don’t wanna miss the evening cardio dance class!” she takes your hand and leads you into the town square.

Once you arrive and change into your clothes, you meet Agnes in the corner of the gym, “Agnes I’ve never done one of these before, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do-“

“Oh, relax. No one does. It’s just for fun!” she playfully pokes your arm, “I only started coming because my ex-husband Ralph told me I should find somewhere to get all my excess energy out, but now I do it to have a good time,”

You nod as you hear the teacher of the class crank up the music and lead everyone in some warm-ups.

Surprisingly it’s just as Agnes said, and you end up having more fun than you’ve had in a while. You just move and dance around with her, singing loud and off key to the tunes, and laughing so hard that you’re afraid you’ll disrupt everyone enough to get kicked out.

Thankfully you don’t get kicked out though, and you leave the gym still laughing and very sweaty.

“Alright I’ll admit, that was pretty fun,” you agree. “We should hangout some more sometime!”

“Oh, yes please,” she chuckles. “I’m free anytime you need me to be,”

And just like that, you spent as much time with her as you possibly could. You went to classes with her every Tuesday, went on errands with her, and went out for dinner a few nights a week as well. You were inseparable, and it shocked you how it was so after so little time. You just bonded with her so well, and you feel like you can be yourself with her.

One day while you’re headed out to meet up with her, your phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N! It’s Wanda. So sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to babysit the boys tonight? I know it’s last minute, but something came up that I really need to take care of,”

“Is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah…everything’s fine, just, some things aren’t running as smoothly as usual, ya know…at work,”

“I didn’t know you had a job-“

“So will you be able to make it?”

“Yeah, I can be right over,”

You hang up the phone with a slight sense of unease. Something wasn’t right with Wanda, but you’re always open to helping a friend, so you try not to think on it too hard.

On your way over, you knock on Agnes’s door to tell her there was a change of plan. She’s disappointed, but she agrees to reschedule another time.

Unfortunately it’s not the only time this happens. Wanda starts asking for your help a little more often, and you have to cancel more meetups with Agnes. Sometimes Wanda sticks around and sometimes she’s gone, but either way you can tell why she needs so much help with the kids. They’re not awful by any means, but twins can be difficult for anyone, especially new parents.

Eventually you have to cancel so much that you just stop rescheduling, telling Agnes that you’ll just let her know when you’re free, but that time starts to exist less and less. Sometimes she’ll stop by the Vision household to say hello, but you’re not able to talk very much.

By the time Wanda lets you off the hook a bit and needs your help a little less, your friendship with Agnes is nearly gone. Whenever you see her in the grocery store or just around town, she avoids your gaze and turns the other way.

After a couple weeks of failing to get her attention, you’ve had enough. You aren’t going to let her get away that easily.

You knock on her door and ring the doorbell repeatedly until she finally caves and opens it, her face sadder than you’ve ever seen it.

“Why are you avoiding me?” you demand, harsher than you meant to.

“Well sorry I don’t want to hang out with someone who doesn’t have time for me anyway,” she scoffs.

“I do have time for you!”

“Oh really? Where was all that time for the past I don’t even know how long? Oh yeah, you spent it with Wanda instead,”

“I was helping her!”

“I’m not mad at you for helping her! But you couldn’t say you weren’t available at least sometimes?!”

“I was trying to be nice!”

“I’m sure you were,” she rolls her eyes. “But it wasn’t very nice to me,”

“Agnes, look, I’m sorry-“

“You know what? No. That’s not good enough,” she points a finger. “I like you, Y/N. I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone. I thought we had something going, I thought we were special to each other. But I guess I wasn’t worth giving some effort back,” she starts to close the door, but you grab it first.

“Agnes, please,” you sigh, a tear falling from your eye. “I’m so sorry. I really am. What I did was wrong. I’ve always struggled with saying no to people who need help, but I know that isn’t an excuse to abandon anyone, and I won’t do it again. I like you too, and I’ll do everything I can to make this up to you,”

She looks at you a moment, taking in your words.

“I suppose I forgive you,” she finally says. You look up and smile. “And I suppose you can make it up to me by taking me on an official date,”

“Yes, yes, of course,” you nod vigorously, wrapping your arms around her in a tight hug. When you pull away slightly, you give her a quick kiss, barely a second, but enough to get a reaction. “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I should’ve asked first-“

Before you can finish apologizing for overstepping, she grabs you back and kisses you for real, hard and longer than you care to count.

[do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger]

EXT. The Roof (Winter) - Sunset

Not Just Attracted to Women!Peter Maximoff x Fem and Not Just Attracted to Men!Reader

Based off of a dream I recently had: Peter and Y/N have a conversation on the roof of Xavier's in mid-December. Peter accidentally lets it slip that he might not be straight, and he is afraid that Y/N will think less of him because of it because this is the 80s. Y/N reveals that she is also not straight, and is saddened by the fact that Peter could think that she could ever hate him- especially for that. She calls him wonderful. Feelings ensue. Also, a touch of Cherik at the end because I give the people what they want.

Warnings: Swearing, Peter cries, internalized homophobia (this is the 80s-ish and Peter uses the word 'queer' in a kind of incorrect and kind of offensive manner, but it was internalized homophobia and not actually intended to be mean to anyone but himself so I forgive him), a touch of angst but mostly fluff, Charles called you two "children" even though you are obviously not, Erik is happy that his son has someone that cares about him the way you do, Peter is insecure but not super blunt about it, Peter has been deprived of being adored his entire life, bad writing, I mention a serial killer twice, historical inaccuracy because the word queer was still a slur so yeah.

A/N: This is literally the first thing I have ever written so please be nice to me, I wrote this instead of an essay. I would love a comment of any kind, even if it's just a heart emoji or something, and constructive criticism would be highly appreciated. Also 'N/N' stands for nick-name.

(Ok, so, full discloser: the format is odd. The bullet points represent dialogue, and the only dialogue is between you two love birds. The first bullet point is Peter, the second is Y/N, the third is Peter, and so on.)

“I dunno, the whole ‘liking people’ thing has always been weird for me.”

“How do you mean?"

“Pppffftt- 'how do you mean,' what are you, Shakespeare or somethin’?”

“Yeah, because that’s the era when ‘how do you mean' would have been a popular term. Ok, what do you mean?”

“Just- when other people were liking people I never really was?”

He was gesturing wildly and avoiding eye contact, as always. He wasn't uncomfortable with eye contact, he just got bored easily in conversations, he needed to keep himself occupied. In this situation that meant staring at the red and green lights covering the rest of the roof, the snowy trees all over the yard, and a holly garland around the gate. Peter wasn't Christian, but man, did he love their Christmas decorations.

“Like… now? In school?”

“Well- yeah… but also when I was younger. And I never liked the right people? Or... liked them in the right way?”

“So you’ve never liked anyone.”

“No, no… I definitely have. It was just… weird! I don't-”

His hands dropped to his side in defeat.

“I don’t think it’s that out of the ordinary. I would tell you if it was. Also, if it was... 'weird', like you said, that wouldn’t mean it was necessarily bad.”

He hadn’t really heard what she said, he was too busy pondering what his next sentence would be. When she wasn't speaking, he was rambling.

"I had some of the normal crap… like in movies when they talk about the fluttery stomach junk. I've had that around a few girls I've been friends with, also that phase with the boy stuff, a-"

“Wait, what phase with the boy stuff?”

“Like- when you’re in middle school or whatever and you're gay for a second.”

His phrasing was a joke, but the statement as a whole was not.

“…‘Gay for a second’?”

“…Yeah?”

“Hmmm..."

"Is that- not-"

"I don't think that is... 'normal'... per-say..."

“Oh… Really?”

His heart sunk.

“…Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“…Mhm.”

“…Shit.”

He suddenly looked almost embarrassed. He shifted his posture, seemingly trying to shrink into himself.

“Do you... wanna chat about it?”

Panic started to slowly rise in him.

“Um- forget I said anything.”

“Why?”

Something in him said to go on the "defense". He did not appear as calm as he was intending to.

“I’m not- gay! or anything. I like girls! I do!”

She put her hand on his arm.

“Hey- look at me for a second. We are not in court, and I never 'accused' you of being gay. That would be a very funny reality TV show, but not what is happening right now. Listen, theoretically if you were gay that wouldn’t be bad! And I wouldn’t be… whatever you.. think that I would be? I mean- however you are afraid I would act in a negative reaction to it? I would try to be here for you, and be as supportive as possible.”

He didn’t believe her.

“Ok, sure.”

“Peter.”

“What? You’re going to tell me that you would honestly be friends with a queer person- be friends with me if I was... not... normal?”

She was taken aback by his tone, the word he had used, and the way he said it, felt like a weight dropping on her shoulders.

“Oh. would you… not?”

It was her turn to seem nervous.

“What?”

“Would you- stop being friends with someone for liking someone that they… I don’t know… shouldn’t... would be the word I guess?”

Why, in this situation, was she nervous? Oh. His fear was replaced with guilt.

“No.”

“Ok.”

“So… are you… do you… why were you scared?”

“... Why were you?”

She expected a joke from him, something along the lines of “touché".

“Are you… gay?”

“No.”

Yeah, he didn’t believe her.

“Uh-huh”

“Really, I’m not. I’ve liked boys, but also... I've had feelings for girls. I’m not… straight. So I just want to let you know that it’s okay if you aren’t too.”

“I never s-“

She smiled at him with a bit of pity, she had been there. The self-loathing, the feeling of walking on minefields with so many people in your life.

“You are…”

She paused.

“I am… what?”

“Give me a second I’m trying to find the perfect word.”

“… Okay?”

“Wonderful.”

That was not exactly the word he was expecting. Like, at all.

“Huh?”

“That’s the word. Wait- let me start over. You gotta look me in my eyes as I say it, because it’s gonna be really poetic.”

“Uh… should I be scared?”

“No. Maybe a little. No.”

“… Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You are… wonderful.”

“Oh... Thanks?“

He looked away again, to be honest, he was a bit uncomfortable. He rarely received compliments, especially ones that seem so... genuine.

“I’m not finished, look back at me, just for a second. You are so wonderful- and I will support you as whatever you are! I want you to know that I can- I can barely even think of something you could do that would make me genuinely hate you- like… maybe if you Dahmer-ed people or like chopped up a-“

He found this was amusing, yet disturbing.

“Y/N?”

“Sorry- I just- the fact that you thought, even for a second, that I could hate you… is just-“

“I’m sorry”

“No! Stop it. Don’t be sorry.”

She stared at him expectantly.

“What do you want me to-“

“Take it back! The sorry!”

“How?”

“Say you aren’t sorry”

“N/N-“

“Peter.”

“Ok. I’m, ya know, not sorry.”

“Good. You shouldn’t be”

“You’re weird.”

“Yuh-huh. Says the most likely, from the little information I've gathered, bisexual in denial who also happens to be the fastest boy on earth who had to slow down exponentially to interact with other people who also, also, happens sitting on a roof in the dead of winter with me.”

“What’s by smexual?”

Something about the way he attempted to repeat her words must have been hilarious, he thought, because here she was, sitting in front of him, in a fit of childish giggles. He would smile if he weren't so confused.

“No- that’s not- what I said- it’s… wait!”

“What?”

“You’re tryna get me off topic!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Am not!”

“Are t- shit.”

“HAHA! Victory is a sweet dessert... wait is that even the saying? Still, I win you lose, nerd.”

“Ok, okay! go on.”

She was attempting to gather herself to give off a less jokey aura. It was half working, the "am not! are too!" argument a few moments ago made it hard for him to take her seriously, but he could tell it was important to her that he did, so he tried his best.

“You have to look at me again. just for a second.”

“I sw-”

“Just do it? Please?”

His attempt to put up a fight was thwarted by her small "please". He was pathetic.

“Okay.”

He looked at her.

“You…”

“Me… or- wait- I…”

“Are w-“

“Wonderful, yeah yeah. just get to the n-”

“No.”

“… No?”

“When you say it it doesn’t encapsulate it. It sounds silly.”

“Ok little miss ‘you art thou wonderful’, how would you have me say it?”

“I am you wonderful?”

“What?”

“You called me ‘little miss you are you wonderful’ what does that-“

“Ok! Would you just- shut up and call me wonderful one more time, please?”

She looked at him and blinked. That sentence surely came off as less ironic than intended.

“You are wonderful.”

She grabbed his face, in a half-joking manner. Her grab smushed his cheeks and she couldn't help but laugh a bit when she did it. Even though it was clearly a bit, he was still flustered.

“W-“

She shook him a bit.

"Shut up 'cause I'm about to say some beautiful and true shit. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are absolutely, unchangingly, and irrevocably wonderful and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, Maximoff.”

After saying what she would (in 40 years or so) recall as a painfully John Green-ish statement in her blunt and matter-of-fact manner, she let go of her semi-ironic hold on his pink cheeks. Were his cheeks pink because it was absolutely freezing, or because his heart was beating faster than he had ever (and would ever, mind you) run, you ask? No comment.

“Wow.”

“Wow what.”

“You do say it better than I do.”

“Did you like how I stressed different parts of the sentence each time? I thought that was a nice detail.”

“Wow.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Wow.”

Did his voice just... break a little?

“Peter?”

“Uh- yeah?”

Was he a little... sniffle-y? She was now very concerned.

“Are you okay?!”

“Oh- um... yeah!”

No! No he was clearly not! He was sniffling!

“Really? 'Cause, you don't seem it.”

“It’s just- I just- wow.”

“Wow, what!?”

“That was just- uh-"

“Just what? It really wasn't that fancy, you seem much too impressed with me. Oh my God, was it terrible?”

“I mean it was really corny but w-“

“I swear to God if you say 'wow' one more time I may have to add ‘use of the word wow too much’ to the list of things that could make me hate you. Right next to the Dahmer stuff. That was a joke. Your use of the word wow is only mildly perturbing. Sorry."

She was panicking "just a bit".

“I’m sorry, I mean I’m not sorry. Sorry. Shit! sorry! I mean I’m not!”

And he was absolutely... full-on crying at this point.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

He was looking down at his mittens. Not that this is important, but they were very pretty mittens.

“Look at me, you klepto.”

He didn’t.

“You know- I’ve been hearing a lot of that 'look at me' stuff from you today. I mean- the klepto part is new-“

“Peter.”

“What?!”

He peaked up at her.

“Talk to me. Please, you're kinda scaring me, let me help.”

“I’m not sad!”

“You’re crying!”

“Yeah but not from the sads!”

“… The ‘sads’?”

“You know- when you get sad! It just means being sad! I don't- that’s what Wanda calls it, not me!"

He wiped his nose, tears still running down from his puffy eyes to his reddened cheeks.

“What are you crying from?”

“No one’s ever called me wonderful before.”

“I'm sorry! I did a few minutes ago and you didn’t cry!”

“No! You can't 'sorry' me if I can't 'sorry' you! And- yeah but that doesn’t count!”

“Why?”

“Because it only felt big when you said it the certain way!”

“What way!?”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks-“

“I'm sorry about that by the way I was j-“

“No! It’s really ok! Do it whenever! I mean don’t do it whene- shut up!”

“I’m not even talking! You're the one talking!”

“You look at me, you grab my cheeks, and you go: you are wonderful.”

“Yeah???”

“No one ever called me that before!”

"Peter, I- well- they- they should! They should! More often! Then the amount that it happens now! I think. In my opinion."

"Or really looked at me like that!”

“Looked at you like what, Peter?”

“Like I was somethin’!”

“Well, you are… ‘somethin'! Whatever that means! And- I think you deserve to be looked at as such!”

“See?”

“What!?”

“You just-“

A strangled sob escaped from his throat. He didn't know how to explain.

“Pete.”

“Ew. I hate that nickname.”

He crossed his arms over his chest like a toddler, trying to completely ignore the fact that he was an emotional wreck.

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

She opened her arms and gestured for him to come closer. He was hesitant at first- but gave up all the reasons he shouldn't move to be closer to her in exchange for the promise of comfort she was offering him. He crawled over to her and curled up in her arms. The way she held him made him want to cry more. Who does she think she is- holding him like he was worth holding? With her chin sitting on top of his hair? Letting him do that gross cry sob with the spit and the snot into her only winter coat? Rocking him, and shushing him, and petting his stupid, silver hair? She was warm, too! The audacity of this woman.

When Erik brought Charles into his office to grab a chess set, they saw the two in the window. For a moment Charles considered telling Peter and Y/N to get off of the high platform, seeing as the two were the reasons the "no sitting on the roof" rule was enacted in the first place (neither of them were coordinated whatsoever). Charles quickly dropped this notion when he saw the look on Erik's face, Charles could tell it made him so happy to see Peter be held like that, cared for like that. Erik's expression made Charles want to both tell Erik that he is the most precious thing in the world, and make fun of him (look at Mr. Metal, gone completely soft). Possibly he could do both at the same time. But for now, he is just going to pretend he didn't see the two outside of the window, and have Erik grab them their game, go to the living room, and pretend not to have read Erik's mind when he inevitably asks him how he always manages to pick the white chess piece at "random".

[hiswhiteknight]

Unbelievably Outlandish– Part 6

Summary:  Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Sorry I’ve been away, I’ve been trying to get some balance and perspective. I’m hoping to come back swinging. Thanks for everyone’s supports, it makes it a real pleasure to continue to write. 

Oh, at this point is when it might start slowly deviating from the tv show. 

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 2300 (long!!!!)

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start, obviously fighting and such

Jamie was making his way towards the kitchen, thankfully you subtly slipped out, and found your way to the pair as Murtagh whispered harsh words to Jamie. You didn’t even look at Jamie, “This way,” you whispered harshly.

You led the gentleman to the space Mrs. Fitz showed you, where you were studying and trying to understand as much as you could about medicine. “Try not to hurt the man, lass, I think you’ve given him enough trouble,” Murtagh shared as he helped Jamie to the seat.

Looking him straight in the eye, stone faced, “Next time you think I’ll want your thoughts Murtagh, I’ll be sure enough ask for it.”

It was obvious he was doing his best not to growl or yell at you, “Watch yourself, she’s wee sized, but she’ll find you weak spot and have you on the ground real fast.”

“I expect minimum talking from you, sir,” you look around Murtagh to Jamie. He was biting back a smirk, “You are quite the barbarians, you know, fits and all.”

“Are men in the colonies babes, do they not know how to be a real man,” Murtagh questioned you again. Shooting him another glare, he quickly shut up, “Jamie, I’ll leave you with the woman. Best of luck.”

“Goodbye Murtagh, miss you already,” you wave at him. Jamie watched you in amazement, shaking his head at your antics. You shrug, “I think I’m growing on him.”

He still held his arm as you passed him something to drink, “Watch yourself, Deoiridh, Murtagh is a good man, but not all men are as nice as him.”

You were mixing some stuff you learned could be good for healing and inflammation, while pointing back at the door, “That man, nice? Where,” you question again.

He shook his head, “Trust me.”

“Sure,” he said.

You started to work on his face, trying to be as gentle as possible. He did do something quite honorable for a young woman, “Why did you do that, I could have handled it,” you whispered trying to focus on his face.

“I understand you are not familiar with our ways, but for an unmarried woman and a stranger,” he said while trying to make eye contact awkwardly, “like yourself, it would have brought you shame. I’m sore, but not really damaged. I would have done the same thing for the girl if you hadn’t stepped in. And the Mackenzie’s don’t much mind for outsiders getting into their affairs.”

“I don’t care what people think of me,” you answered back, “And I’m here, I exist in their affairs.”

He grabbed your hand to stop you, “I don’t know much about you Y/N, but I know I couldn’t sit and watch,” he was stopped my Mrs. Fitz coming in with somethings for Jamie.

“What you did was kindly meant lad,” she said to him, nearly crying. A part of you broke inside seeing her this upset. It melted your anger down to almost nothing. Jamie had let go of your hand, thanking Mrs. Fitz.

“Do me a favor, don’t get into any more fights. You’ve got a few days before this arm fully heals and I already have enough things to do than mend your ailments, sir,” you turn away to start cleaning up things around you.

“You seem to be quite the busy woman,” he said, standing up to look down at you.

Stopping to look up at his smirk. He was aware that his touch and close proximity was affecting your mood, “Yeah, so busy I might not be able to deal with you. If I don’t see you in two days, you should remove your bandages,” you answered him, not looking him in the eyes again.

“I’m sure I can manage,” he smirked some more. He stopped your fidgeting and avoidance maneuvers with hands by gripping your arm and forcing you to look at him, “But I’d sure not mind seeing you if you do find the time.”

A clank caught your attention, Mrs. Fitz’s granddaughter stood waiting an audience with Jamie, “Seems you have someone waiting to thank you,” you pull back from his grip.

“So it does,” he looked in her direction.

“I’ll leave you to it,” you say pulling a few things of yours into your arms. You took a step towards the entrance, before turning back to him, “Oh, by the way, your charm doesn’t work on me Jamie. I’m still plenty mad at you,” and you swung back around, hearing his chuckle from his breath.

  The way Jamie made you feel unease, an unfamiliar feeling, you found it easy to force yourself to avoid him. Jamie was right about something; you were a stranger. Collum and Dougal were both suspicious of you, so you tried to find ways to get them to trust you. You had spent some time thinking about finding a way back to the rocks, but you were far from identifying a detailed plan.

In the trying to gain trust of the community, outside of educating yourself about potential, but sketchy ways of healing people and creating medical notes for your own survival experiences with your outdoorsy brother and the military.

You gravitated to the children and the woman of the people. Often you were showing the children how to better their fighting skills and how to create weapons, especially the girls. With the women, you peaked some of the more progressive women to learn some self-defense and battle strategy, but mostly you tried to educate them in how to read people.  The one day, you made Mrs. Fitz laugh by predicting Angus tripping over the wood by the fire and deciding to drink to help his wounded pride, “Hope you’re not a witch,” she laughed.

“Mrs. Fitz, I’m just good with people. Witchcraft is something that takes much more strategy and imagination,” you grinned at her, before passing Angus another cup of mead caused Mrs. Fitz to laugh again.

Outside of trying to educate the community in swords play and self defense, you have gotten closer to Collum. He clearly was suspicious, and he relied too heavily on you when it came to medicine and healing. Often it made you think of your brother, he could heal nearly anything from anywhere. You remembered how your brother helped a puppy left in the woods to die because it’s inability to walk on its own. Some of the small gestures he did to help the puppy, like massaging its legs and back. You thought of this when Collum called you to help ease the pain of his legs. You were just lucky that what your brother taught you work. Human bodies and nakedness didn’t make you uncomfortable, especially when regarding science and medicine. It was nice to have a purpose and learn something new.

With yourself getting comfortable didn’t mean there were not difficulties. Unfortunately, that came with the unease of being a woman from the 21st century in an era of no women’s rights. You got shouted at for just wanting to wear a pair of pants. And quite a few gentlemen enjoyed the fact that you were an unmarried woman, which made you incredibly uncomfortable when they sought your affection or attention.

At this current moment, you found yourself getting ‘the lean’ from Dougal, “You seem to be finding yourself a home here.”

“Of course, but not too comfortable,” you mumbled to him, drinking some of the rhenish. You never quite got the hang of drinking, but during these uncomfortable times it was making it easier to cope.

He nodded, “Right, you’re waiting for news from your brother. Collum mentioned you tried to send word for him at the colonies.”

Looking anywhere but at him, you tried to pull yourself from this situation, “Yes, I hope to hear back from him.” You paused to choose your words wisely, “I’m going to try to get closer, excuse me.”

You sit on a bench away from the wandering eyes and whispers of the hall. Mrs. Fitz’s granddaughter sat next to me, “Hello, I’m Y/N O’Mulligain your grandmother talks very highly of you.”

She sent you a smile, leaning in to whisper back, “Laoghaire Mackenzie, I never got to thank you for trying to-.”

You stopped her with a wave, “No, no need,” you both looked towards a figure entering the hall, “That’s the man who gets all the thanks.”

“Yeah,” she gushed in a whisper, “I just wish he had eyes for me.”

Jamie made eye contact with you, making his way in your direction, “He is quite the charmer, Mr. Mactavish.” You look back at her, “He’d be stupid not to like you, you’re quite beautiful.”

Jamie interrupted your conversation by sitting in between the both of you. He greeted you both before turning his attention to the musician who started to play. You had done such a good job avoiding your feelings of hatred, annoyance, and something else with Jamie. And because Laoghaire sat next to you, you were stuck with him sitting next to you.  You leaned forward, continuing to drink your rhenish. It was quite beautiful, if only you could understand what he was saying, “Do you not like the music Miss O’Mulligian,” Jamie asked you, trying to read your facial expression.

You leaned back, “Oh no, it’s truly lovely. I just focusing on the words, wish I knew what the song was about.” There might have been other motivations to looked focused and uncomfortable, but it was mostly true.

Jamie started to explain a little about the musician when Laoghaire tried to prompt Jamie to talk to her about their past, “No, I don’t think so. Still, I wouldn’t be likely too.”

You glared at Jamie for being so dense, “But look at her now, quite the enchanting young woman,” you point to her.

He glanced at her, “Aye, she’s bonnie.”

Eventually you got quite focused on the music, sighing, and holding your hand to your face in amazement. You couldn’t quite hammer out why you were acting so strange, besides the point that you could feel the tension from Laoghaire and Jamie’s presence next to you, “That Collum’s rhenish?”

“Sure is,” than it started to hit you. It was quite easy to drink, but it was starting to get to your head, “I think this is my second, maybe my third, but I’m fairly sure my second. Would you like it,” you offered it to Jamie, trying not to laugh at the awkwardness you were feeling.

“Most people wouldn’t be standing by their second,” he took it from your hands. When the song finished, you struggled not to roar with applause and shout like you were at a hockey game. Jamie stopped you before the next song started, “Miss O’Mulligian, remember discussing the bandage it’s been bothering me, would you mind taking a look at it,” his whispered.

You leaned back in shock, “You can’t be serious, right now,” you question. He nods, “Fine, but if I never get to see this guy play again. It’s your ass Mr. Mactavish,” you mockingly say his name. You get up and make your way to your workspace, trying not to grumble with annoyance. You put most of your focus on the walk to your work area, though for some reason it was not as easy as you remember. Thankfully Jamie was leading the way, which made you remember the time he tossed you over his shoulder. Before you could complete that thought, you were there, “Let’s see it,” you point to him to have a seat on the table.

“I don’t need your help,” he grinned at you, “I thought it was best to get you back to the surgery while you can stand.”

You lean against the table, letting a laugh out, “Oh,” you answered him, “You think I’m inebriated, you might be right,” you chucked again, “I thought about jumping on your back on the way down here and making you carry me.”

“You can hold your own,” he said, stepping towards you to lean against the table with you, “But thought it’d be best to be safe.”

“Thank you,” you knew he was right and that it’d be best to get to safe place before you made a fool of yourself. You glance at him gain with your heavy eyes, “Surprised you haven’t moved the bandage.”

Sending you another smile, “Scared about what you might do.”

“Smart man,” you answered back, “While you’re here, let me look at it,” you spun to look at him. He didn’t much move, he just gazed at you as you undid his shirt. You felt like you were suddenly on fire and with the alcohol is was become harder to fight the urge and attraction to Jamie, “You should pay more mind to Laoghaire, she like you.”

“Aye, she is a nice girl,” he said as he watched you maneuver around his clothing and bandage, “Why do you mention it.”

Ignoring his questions, “It looks just about right,” you cover it up again, “I’d say in a few days you can remove all this.”

“As you say,” he took a step back, cutting a smirk away, “I didn’t realize you cared so much about my affairs Miss O’Mulligian”

You rolled your eyes and stomped a foot as you walked around the table to get your things in order before you go to sleep, “I feel for the girl Mister Mactavish. It has very little to do with you.”

He looked towards the door, then back at you, “Right lass, if that’s the case. I’ll be off. Good night Miss O’Mulligian.”

Part 7

Taglist:  @doctorwhatwhenandwhere @damnedandbroken @blushingpogue @blancastans

[thekinghazzastyles]

One More Thing // Fred Weasley

Parings: Fred Weasley x Fem!Slytherin!Reader Warnings: underage drinking, angst, fluff Word Count: 1525 Time Period: Golden Era Request: Hi! I discovered your block and I am in love! Love your stories!!! Keep the good work😊 (your series with Oliver Wood are the BEST🥺❤️).   Anyways i saw your requests are open🙈 can i request slytherin reader x Fred? And the reader can like get anything (answers for tests, some rare herbs etc.) She is famous for getting anything for her friends. And like the twins will befriend her first for the herbs/something for their pranks but Fred will fall for her??   If you don't want to you don't have to i just got the idea😊 anyways thank you for reading this, stay awesome ✨😊 -Lenny❤️ Summary: You can get anything for anyone, as long as they ask. George convinces you to take a deal in which he and Fred only pay three Galleons for something instead of five and you go on a date with Fred.  Authors Note: I was listening to Billie Eilish while writing some of this so I used lyrics (italics) from ‘Therefore I Am’. I’m planning on using them again in another imagine but just not with Fred so stay tuned. :) xx

Masterlist

Being the student at Hogwarts who knew how to get almost anything meant having anyone from any house in any year come up to you asking for things. Which was a bit interesting considering you were a Slytherin and according to the rest of the houses you ‘Weren’t to be trusted’.

“What can I do for you, Weasley?” George and Fred were two of your biggest customers. They asked you to get pretty much anything. At first they were wary of you since you, of course, are in Slytherin. It wasn’t like you trusted them either, since they were both notorious for pranking, and more specifically pranking almost everyone in the house of Slytherin. And the first time you did business with them somehow you had convinced them to tell you what they were going to do with red paint and gold glitter. They promised they would never prank you in return for providing them with the products they needed.

“We need Firewhiskey,” Fred easily stated. You never had any trouble acquiring any of the products that were requested but you always wanted to know what they were going to use it for. If they didn’t want to tell you then you didn’t push them, but they usually ended up telling you anyways; sometimes without even having to ask. “We are celebrating, love.”

One thing about Fred was that he almost never called you by your name. And he was always flirting with you. Sometimes you flirted right back and other times, you rolled your eyes in complete and utter annoyance but you would for a fact miss it if he ever stopped, but you would never tell anyone that.  

“Celebrating what if I may ask?” You didn't know what they had to celebrate at a time like this. With Umbridge trying to overthrow Dumbledore, with her inhumane ways of handing out detention, and most importantly her lack of intelligence there was nothing good going on this year.

“Life,” George spoke. He was a lot more quiet compared to Fred who had always seemed to be screaming for Salazar knows what.

“Well then,” you started, “ I will get it to you tomorrow; enjoy your celebration of life and I will enjoy the six Galleons you two will pay me.”

“How about five Galleons and we invite you to our celebration,” Fred bargained. You turned to George to see if he was going to try anything. He stood there standing and looking back and forth between you and Fred.

“How about four Galleons, you come to the celebration of Life and Fred takes you for Butterbeer, his treat,” he added, smirking at the both of us.

Before Fred could finish what he was going to say you cut him off, “his treat?” you asked George, leaving Fred completely out of the conversation. He nodded and Fred hit him on his shoulder. “Okay then, why not,” you finished walking off not wanting either of them —mainly Fred— to see your growing smile.

***

George and Fred’s celebration was the night before you and Fred would be going on your ‘date’. George told you to come 15 minutes earlier than everyone else to deliver the  and remove the wards on the boys dormitory, because for some reason you knew how.

You left the Slytherin common room and started making your way towards Gryffindor tower when you were pulled by the arm into some hidden pathway.

“It’s alright,” the voice spoke and you still weren’t able to figure out who it was. “It’s Fred.” You let down your composure and released a breath of relief. “Merlin's beard you scared the bloody crap out of me,” you said, you could feel your heart that was previously racing starting to slow down. “What is this place?” you asked and looked down the dark pathway, but you weren’t able to see far due to the light from Fred’s wand not reaching very far.

“It’s a secret passage, and leads basically right outside the entrance to the Gryffindor common room,” he explained.

You didn’t care to ask any other questions, like how he knew this existed so you changed the subject, “who else is gonna be at your celebration of life, as George called it?”

“Just you, Katie, Angelina, Alicia, Lee, George, and I. You know the usual,” he finished shrugging his shoulders.

You had never formally spoken to them anywhere outside of class or if they were asking you for something. You were nervous to be in a room full of Gryffindors but you wouldn’t let it show. The walk to Fred’s house seemed like it was the longest walk ever but the shortest thing at the same time. Just like Fred said, the passage opened right outside the Gryffindor portrait of the Fat Lady.

The common room, compared to Slytherin, was a lot warmer and welcoming as you expected. George was waiting for the both of you on a couch. He stood up and walked over to you with a large grin across his face.

“Welcome!” he exclaimed. You handed him the three bottles of Firewhiskey and he took them from you, his smile growing even more if that was possible. He led you to the boys dorm stair entrance to remove the charm and at the same time, Angelina, Katie, and Alicia, were walking down the stairs of the girls dormitories.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Angelina giving you a dirty look. You decided not to say anything about and not end up being the ‘Problematic Slytherin’. Taking your wand out and pointing at the boys' dorms, you whispered the incantation to remove the ward. “It’s off,” you stated, turning around to face everyone else.

George automatically led the way to his dorm and everyone followed. You went up second-to-last with Fred walking behind you. The Gryffindor dorm looks just like the Slytherin one’s other than the colors and the fact that it’s not underwater so it was already a lot less cold.

Jordan was already in the dorm laying down on the floor. He stood up and sat on his bed when he heard people entering the room.

“What’s up with you?” Katie asked laughing at Lee, taking a seat next to him.  

You took a seat next to Fred, on what you guessed to be his bed. Angelina, Alicia, and George were sitting on the bed across from you and Fred and next to Lee and Katie. George stood up to open the three bottles of Firewhiskey and passed them around.  

“So what are we going to do?” Alicia asked, after taking a swig from the bottle then passing it off to Lee.

“How about we play truth or drink?” Lee suggested, drinking from the bottle. “It could be fun.”

“It's a muggle game if you didn’t know,” Angelina interrupted. “Unless you have a problem with muggles, Y/L/N?” she asked, quite rudely.

“Stop, what the hell are you talking about?,” you asked, confused by what she meant.

“I mean,” she started, “I wouldn’t expect you to be fond of anything muggle related, Y/N.”

“Get my pretty name outta your mouth. And don’t talk about me like how you might know how I feel. I really couldn’t care less. I don’t have a single problem with muggles or anything that they do, I think they’re the coolest,” you finished, standing up. “I think I’m gonna go now. Thanks for the invitation, George. Have a good time and drink wisely,” you said leaving the room. 

You could hear another pair of footsteps follow after you. You turned around after you reached the bottom of the stair and you ran into Fred’s chest. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Are you alright?” he asked, looking down/up at you. “Yeah, “ you said while nodding. “I’m just tired of people always thinking that all Slytherins are blood purists and that we hate muggles.”

“I’m sorry about her,” he started but you cut him off.

“It’s not your fault, Fred. But I really think I should just go back to my common room, goodnight,” you said, giving him a small smile.

But Fred had insisted on walking you all the way to your dormitory. You both stood facing one another, not saying a word. The corridor was dimly lit and drafty but it was like you couldn’t feel it when the boy with the fiery red hair was around you.

��Goodnight, Fred,” you spoke softly. He stood, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed staring down/up at you. He uncrossed his arms and reached for your hand. He gave it a squeeze, “goodnight, love,” he said, then turning around to head back to his dorm. But he stopped in the middle of the corridor before turning around and walking back to you. “One more thing,” and before you could ask what, his lips were on yours. You kissed him back before he pulled away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at 8,” he said before walking away again, but not before giving you another peck on the lips.

“Tomorrow at 8,” you whispered to yourself.

[peggyrose19]

Exile

This is an idea I got a while back and just now finally had the energy/time to sit and write it! I had a really fun time with it actually, it may be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Inspired by Taylor Swift and Bon Iver’s song Exile. Bet you can guess what’s coming :)

It’s angst! My favorite. This song gives me very big war era Wolfstar vibes, so of course that’s what you’re getting. This is a period of time between them I’ve never explored before so it was really fun to figure out their interactions and how they’d act around each other. Y’know, based off the approximately three nuggets of canon and ten million pieces of fanon I’ve consumed. 

I am doing a part 2 to this. That will be up at some point probably. 

cw: blood and death mentions

Remus couldn’t recall the exact moment everything changed. In fact, he wasn’t sure there even was one. But he could remember the day he realized, the day everything crumbled around him in shards on the floor. Everything was fine until it wasn’t and by then only he was left to pick up the pieces. 

He woke up alone the morning before the October full moon. 1981. The war had gotten nasty by then. So many people were gone, were terrified to even leave their houses. Nothing was the same anymore. 

That morning when Remus awoke was a cold one. Typical for October, but Remus was always cold. He reached out a hand; the other side of the bed had gone cold too. Shit. Frowning, Remus sat up. Shivering in the cool air, he climbed out of bed, wincing at the ice cold floor. He pulled a jumper on as he headed for the kitchen, following the smell of coffee through the narrow hallway. 

“Sirius?” he called out, entering the dim-light kitchen and looking around. The dark-haired man was nowhere to be seen. “Sirius?” 

A fresh pot of coffee sat on the counter, a mug and a piece of paper beside it. Remus read the note first, stomach sinking. He recognized Sirius’ messy scrawl. Got called out for a quick mission, I’ll be back for dinner. Left the coffee for you. Love you.

He sighed. “Of course.” 

With a resolute breath, Remus poured himself a mug from the spelled-warm pot and got started on his work for the day.

It was becoming a common occurrence these days, waking to an empty bed or being called away himself. It seemed something was always happening, another disaster, another death. They rarely made it through a whole night undisturbed now. Remus was so tired. He kept hoping and waiting for a moment of peace, a moment of rest, but it never seemed to come. War didn’t sleep.

When Sirius got home that night it was after dinner. 

“Where have you been?” Remus asked when the door had safely been shut behind him and Sirius was shedding off his coat. Exhaustion hung in his face, his body. His grey eyes were dull, lacking the playful light they’d always held at school.

“Mission,” he replied tiredly, crossing to join Remus on the couch. It was a sad, threadbare thing but it was theirs. “You know I can’t say anything, certainly not here.” He plopped down with a sigh, leaning into Remus, and that’s when Remus knew just how tough the day had been for him. 

“You alright, love?” he asked quietly, running a soft hand through his dark locks.

“No,” Sirius answered honestly, voice raw. He buried his face in Remus’ shoulder, the soft wool of his jumper warm and comforting.

Remus sighed and held him closer. They’d done this so many times. Comforting each other, holding each other tight as their world destroyed itself around them. Nothing ever seemed to get better. Nothing seemed to help. 

“D’you want to talk about it?” he asked. As usual, Sirius shook his head. He never wanted to talk about it. Remus was never sure if he couldn’t or if he refused to. “How ‘bout a movie?” he offered instead. 

“Alright.” 

Silently, Remus switched the tv on, turning it to their usual channel, and let it play, volume low. Sirius huddled closer, pulling the blankets over them both, eyes downcast.

“Pads?” Remus asked after a while. Sirius shifted.

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to be here tomorrow night?”

Sirius looked up. “Of course. I would never leave you alone like that.”

“Promise?”

As Sirius looked at him, eyes bright and fierce, Remus felt like he was a kid again, looking up at his best friend as he vowed to never leave. He was back in their dorm room, curtains pulled tight around his bed as Sirius sat beside him and reassured him everything would be okay, promising to be there in the morning.

“I promise,” he vowed, echoing the words of so many years ago. 

It eased his heart, to hear the words again, to know that no matter what else happened, Sirius would always be by his side. That much at least would never change. 

Remus waited impatiently in the forest, knowing what was about to happen. It had been spelled with numerous muggle-repelling charms and protective measures, but they did nothing to ease the churning in his gut. That couldn’t be helped by anything. He was used to that by now.

As the sun fell lower in the sky, the forest darkening around him, Remus felt worse and worse. It was nearly time. So where was Sirius?

“Remus? Remus!” the panicked voice broke through the haze in his mind. The first thing he registered was the warm ground beneath him and a heavy weight above him.

“Sirius?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m here.” Remus willed his eyes open, taking in the hazy outline of Sirius leaning over him. Beyond him the sky was pink, trees reaching tall. It was dawn. Sirius sighed in relief. “You alright?”

“Fine,” Remus grunted, forcing himself into a seating position. Sirius followed, tracking his movement carefully. “You weren’t here last night.”

Regret filled Sirius’ gaze. “I know, I’m sorry. I was called out on-”

“Another mission, yeah.”

Bitterness crept into his voice as he pushed himself to his feet, Sirius helping him up. “You promised.”

Sirius sighed, running a rough hand over his face. “I know, I’m sorry. There was… there was nothing I could do. I’m so sorry Moons.”

In that moment Remus couldn’t help but feel resentful. Towards Dumbledore, towards Voldemort and his Death Eaters, even towards Sirius. And suddenly he couldn’t do it anymore, couldn’t stand before this man he loved so much and just pretend everything was okay. He didn’t have it in him anymore.

“I’m going home.” 

Without another word, Remus brushed off Sirius’ hand and Apparated, knowing it was stupid and doing it anyways. It was pure stubbornness that got him to the front door of their flat in one piece. His whole body ached, only made worse by the journey, but he didn’t have it in him to care. He just staggered to the bathroom and turned the shower on, stripping off his torn clothes and stepping in before the water even warmed. 

It was ice cold against his skin but he welcomed the bite, sharpening his senses and washing away the drowsiness. The water grew warmer as Remus grabbed a bar of soap and scrubbed at his skin, dirt and blood washing the water dark red. He winced at a particularly bad gash on his arm, but cleaned it out efficiently, well used to the pain. 

As he washed the last bits of soap from his hair, Remus heard the front door close and knew Sirius had come home. He sighed to himself, staying in the shower a moment longer, hating himself for hiding and unwilling to leave. 

“Remus?” Sirius called out, and he knew he’d have to face the music.

“Give me a minute,” he shouted back, and reluctantly turned the water off. Cold air hit him as soon as he pulled the shower curtain back, exhaustion sweeping through his body now that the adrenaline was fading and the warmth was gone. Shivering, he toweled off and pulled on the clean set of clothes he’d grabbed before. The apartment was eerily quiet.

With quiet feet, Remus made his way to the living room, finding Sirius on the couch with a book. He wasn’t reading it, Remus knew instantly, but only pretending to, eyes flitting over the page half-hazardly. 

“Sirius?” he said hesitantly, although he knew the man had heard him come down the hallway.

He turned, looking at Remus searchingly. “We need to talk.”

“Do we?” Remus sighed, but he went and sat down on the couch beside him, fighting the longing and fear battling in his chest. 

“Yes. Remus, you walked away from me!” 

“Technically I Apparated,” Remus muttered, and the corners of Sirius’ mouth twitched upward. He fought them down.

“Re-”

“You weren’t there,” Remus interrupted. “You weren’t there. And you promised you would be. I know-” he held up a hand- “it wasn’t your fault. I know that now. But I didn’t last night. Sirius, I had no way of knowing if you were okay or not. I didn’t know if you were still alive or if…” he swallowed hard. “Or if you were dead. I knew nothing. I needed you and you weren’t there and I didn’t know where you were.”

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. When he opened them once more, Remus could see the pain lingering there, the anger simmering just beneath the surface. That anger had once made Remus fall in love with him. These days it was aimed at him as a broken cry for help, helpless words shouted to the walls as if it would bring their innocence back. 

“Sirius,” Remus sighed before he could say anything. He just wanted to sleep. “Can we not? Please? I’m so sick of fighting with you, we do this every time. You get a mission and you leave and you come back worse than before. And I can’t do it anymore. You promised me. You said we’d be okay, you said-”

“I know!” Sirius shouted, and the sound startled Remus. “I know I did,” he said, quieter. “And I one hundred percent meant it. I didn’t ask for this, okay? I didn’t ask to be sent on mission, I didn’t ask for this fucking war to happen! Alright? I just…” All the fight seemed to drain out of him. “I love you. So much. And I just want to keep you, keep us, safe.” 

“I know you do,” Remus said quietly. 

“Look,” Sirius sighed frustratedly. “Can we just get some rest? C’mon, you’ve been up all night, I know how the moons drain you. You need sleep.”

Remus contemplated. He knew it was never good to go to bed angry, but he couldn’t keep doing this. “Okay.”

They got ready for bed silently, dancing around each other the way they normally did, a comfortable ease settling over them. It was nice, to have that reassurance. Even with everything they still knew each other. 

When Remus climbed into bed, Sirius silently threw another blanket over him, smoothing out the wrinkles before crawling in beside him.

“G’night Moons,” Sirius whispered.”

“Night Pads.”

For once they both slept through the night.

The next two weeks passed without incident for the pair. More battles were fought, more lives were lost. Remus and Sirius went about their days, waking early and making coffee together, kissing in the bathroom while they brushed their teeth, disappearing on missions alone and coming back bloody and haunted. 

With each passing day, Sirius slipped further from Remus’ grasp. They fought more and more often, over stupid petty things and big life-changing events that had no good outcomes. And with each passing day Remus wished more and more they could go back to school, to the days of not understanding what war meant or what love was. He wanted that happiness back, the blissfulness and eagerness that came with first crushes and being a teenager. He wondered if he’d ever feel that again. 

The morning of October 31st, Remus woke up alone, cold beneath the blankets. He found a note in the kitchen, saying Sirius had to go out and would be back by nightfall, and a fresh pot of coffee made just the way he liked it. 

He left the coffee. 

There was no work to do that day, no mission to go on or paperwork to fill out or letters to write. There was nothing and no one to fight the silence that crept in. So Remus settled on the couch with a book and stared at the pages for long hours as the clock ticked and the sun rose beyond the walls of his living room. 

It was nearing nighttime when a knock on the door shook Remus from his stupor. With a heavy sigh, he stood and went to answer it. He blinked.

“Professor.” In the doorway stood Albus Dumbledore, dressed in his typical flowing robes and a grim look on his face. 

“Hello Mr. Lupin. I’m so sorry to burst in like this. May I come in.”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course, come in.”

“Thank you.” Dumbledore settled at the kitchen table, piercing eyes following Remus as he stood across from him. 

“Why are you here?” Remus asked bluntly. His opinion of his old Headmaster had lessened with each passing month. 

“I'm afraid I have some bad news.” Remus sighed internally. It was never good news these days. “I’m sorry Mr. Lupin. But they’re gone. James and Lily, Peter… and Sirius.”

“What.”

For the first time in his life, Dumbledore seemed uncomfortable. “Mr. Black betrayed us.”

“No.” Remus shook his head. “No, no he wouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Lupin. But he did. He’s being taken to Azkaban now.”

Remus stared at Dumbledore for a long time. For long silent minutes, he just stared, disbelief and anger and pain filling him to the core. Dumbledore’s words hit him to the core, his worst nightmare suddenly brought to life in a cruel twist of fate. He felt his knees buckle, felt himself hit the ground, The pain didn’t register. 

He hadn’t seen this coming. Hadn’t looked hard enough, had been blindsided by his own damn love for a traitor. He couldn’t find the words to demand what happened, couldn’t find them even in his own head. They were all gone. And now he was alone.

He should have seen the signs. 

~

Iron doors clanged shut behind Sirius. He barely heard the sound. It echoed faintly in his ears, quiet over the ringing in his mind. Too loud was the silence, the rough wind from the dementors circling his cell. Too loud were his thoughts, falling deeper and deeper with each passing moment. 

He was alone again. Trapped in the darkness. There was no one left out there, no one to save him here. And there was no saving himself, not this time. 

James, Lily, Harry, all gone. Peter. Remus. 

Voldemort. Regulus. Peter. 

Remus. 

Peter. 

He should have seen the signs.

[ejzah]

A/N: A little Sidorov era angst featuring our favorite Detective.

***

For All the Sleepless Nights

Kensi was waiting for Deeks when he got to work on Monday morning. She hadn’t heard from him all weekend, which wasn’t all that unexpected since he’d been out of town. Still, it made her antsy and she was relieved-though she’d never admit it to Deeks-to see his car pull into his spot.

Kensi waited until he was halfway across the parking lot before she slipped up beside him, nudging him with her elbow. He reacted slowly, turning with a mild look of surprise that quickly morphed to a slight smile Kensi though he looked tired at first glance, but she didn’t get more than a brief glimpse before he was facing away again.

“Morning Kens,” he greeted her. “You’re starting out early with the stealth.

“Hey, I gotta keep you on your toes,” Kensi teased, knocking his shoulder. “How was that surfing competition you mentioned going to?”

“Uh, yeah, it was great.”

“Great? That’s it?” Kensi asked after a moment of expectant silence. Deeks just shrugged, not elaborating. “You talked about this thing, seeing some of your surfing heroes again in person all last week. I thought it was practically a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“Maybe I just don’t want to bore you with my stories,” Deeks suggested. It’s a half-hearted excuse and that along with his lack of eye contact was more than enough to set off warning bells. A reserved Deeks was usually a bad sign, especially in the last several months.

“Deeks, you were so excited about this, are you really trying to convince me that you aren’t dying to tell me all about it?” When Deeks didn’t respond, she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. He kept his back to her still. “You’re honestly starting to worry me Deeks.”

“Kens…” He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, through his hair, and ending with his fingers clasped around the back of his neck. Sighing audibly, Deeks finally turned to her again. “Fine. I didn’t go to the competition.”

“Why not?”

“I, uh, had a couple rough nights,” he explained reluctantly.

“You’re having nightmares again,” Kensi guessed, gently touching his forearm. He tensed ever so slightly before recovering himself.

“No, not nightmares. Just…restlessness.” Shaking his head, Deeks pursed his lips, and shook his head. He gave an odd chuckle that had none of his usual warmth. “Some mild insomnia and this weird feeling that wakes me up in the middle of the night. I didn’t really feel like being around a bunch people after that.”

Kensi moved around to face him fully, grasping his arm firmly. The sun shone directly overhead, highlighting the deeper circles around his eyes, the slight puffiness and lines in places that spoke of his exhaustion.

“Why didn’t you tell me this was going on? You know I would have been there in a second,” Kensi said and she meant it. She would have dropped anything to be there for him.

Memories of Jack closing himself off from her, of the weeks when Deeks didn’t answer her texts came to mind. She wasn’t about to let it happen him to again.

“I guess I didn’t want to worry you,” Deeks answered. “And I didn’t want anyone thinking I can’t handle the job. I’m supposed to be cured of whatever, you know.” She heard the judgment, the self-recrimination, in his voice and she wanted nothing more than to hug him.

Pressing her lips together, Kensi gathered her thoughts before she spoke again. This was an area where she needed to tread carefully. If she pushed too hard, Deeks might feel pressured or threatened.

“Deeks, PTSD takes time to improve,” she reminded him. “It’s not something that’s going to disappear because you had one pro bono therapy session with Nate.” She saw his face shutter at the reminder, his shoulders sinking.

“It’s just hard, struggling all the time. Not knowing what’s going to happen each day.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Sometimes I just want to block it all out.”

“Hey, you are not alone in this, Deeks.” Kensi grabbed his hands, ignoring the possible prying eyes that could be watching them. “I’m always here. Anytime you’re having a rough night, all you need to do it call and I’ll come.”

Something flickered in Deeks’ eyes, a vulnerability that she hadn’t seen in some time. His fingers tightened around hers.

“You’d do that for me?” he asked softly.

“Absolutely,” Kensi promised. “I’m your partner. I’m here for all the sleepless nights and bad movies you have to offer.”

“Thanks.” He managed the smallest of smirks. “For everything.”

“Like I said, that’s what partners are for.”

[kalimagik]

Should’ve Said No

Sirius Black x Reader 

Marauders Era 

Based off the song “Should’ve Said No” by Taylor Swift

<3k

Warnings: Angst and mentions of cheating

A/N: I’m back with another song based fic because that’s one of the few places that I draw inspiration from. I had a three hour car ride, listened to this song on repeat a million times, so in short, this fic just wrote itself! If you enjoy it, like, reblog, comment, or follow (I think you get the gist so far!) It’s my first time writing for Sirius, so I hope you all like it! Happy Reading <3

-

-

I knew the risks that came with catching the eye of Hogwarts’ biggest playboy. I knew his reputation. I had stayed away for a decent amount of time, but the boy finally wore me down at the end of sixth year. He asked and asked. He said he was done with his play boy life. I said yes. Everyone was surprised I said yes. Hell, I was surprised that I said yes, but it was worth the risk. Sirius Black had my heart in his hands. He was careful with it too, almost delicate. 

Then seventh year kicked in and so did the beginning of quidditch matches and parties. I did as much Common Room rotating for the parties as the next girl, but the one time, the one time I decided that school was more important, he wasn’t strong enough to not ruin everything. Let me go back for a minute. 

Lily came up to me during lunch the other day, I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday, and sat with me at the Y/H table. 

“Did you finish that Transfiguration homework Saturday?” she asked me casually, but seemed to have a little bit of a tremor in her voice. 

“Yeah, Remus was a ton of help. Thank you for telling him that I needed him even though I didn’t want to ask. How was the party?” I asked, thinking nothing of it. It had been Gryffindor’s turn to host, but I wanted to get a good grade in my N.E.W.T. level transfiguration this year, so studying took precedent.  

Lily grew quieter suddenly. 

“That bad, huh?” I giggled, judging her reaction. “Where’s James?” 

I was still so daft. So stupid to think that everything was normal. Lily’s boyfriend and my boyfriend were best friends. It brought us closer than ever and it made me happy. Sound began to fill the Great Hall as others came in for lunch. 

“He’ll be along. I just wanted to talk to you,” Lily piped up again. “Are you almost done? Could we go to the loo to talk for a minute?” 

“What is with you, Lil?” I was worried now. Lily was usually such a happy presence to be around, but that day, something was off. I gathered my things, following Lily to a bathroom a little ways from the Great Hall. What was she so upset over? I hoped she was alright. “Oh, look! There’s James and Sirius!” 

I had started to call them over, but Lily quickly pulled me through the door of the bathroom. 

“Seriously, Lily. What’s up? Did James do something? Should I warm up my wand?” 

“He didn’t do anything, Y/N.” I just stared at her, mouth slightly opened. I was wracking my mind over what had potentially happened that had her acting this way

I realize now that I was so worried for her when she was just being protective over me. 

She finally spoke. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but you deserve to know. He isn’t going to tell you, Y/N/N, but I like you and it isn’t fair.” 

“What are you rambling on about?” 

“Sirius cheated on you…” she finally blurted out. My whole body went numb. I didn’t even hear her say who it was with. I later found out it was Marlene. That was a whole other beast to deal with. We were never that close anyways, so it didn’t surprise me. 

Like I said, I knew his reputation. 

“Y/N/N? It was at the party. I don’t know if he was drunk or what. I wasn’t paying much attention. He begged me not to tell you and James even begged me to give him the chance to tell you. I did. It’s been nearly 5 days and he hadn’t and I couldn’t just watch him with you, acting normal. I’m sorry.” 

I realized then that I hadn’t said anything yet. I stood there, staring at the sinks behind Lily. I didn’t even look at her. My gaze shifted to my face in the mirror. The color had drained from my face. I couldn’t even see any emotion in my features. I could only feel my heart shattering into a million pieces. 

Then Lily asked those dreaded words. “Are you okay?” I looked at her, a blank stare still ensuing, “Oh, no. You’re mad at me. I am so sorry, really. I didn’t want to tell you all of this.” 

Words finally found their way to my lips. “I’m not mad at you, Lily. I’m mad at him. I’m going back to my room. I may see you tomorrow. I don’t know.” 

I bolted to the door and for the crowded halls. I didn’t want to be with anyone anymore. I heard Lily calling to me over the noise. “But, we still have classes today!” 

I wasn’t going to classes. I was processing. Processing was allowed right? I just found out that my boyfriend, correction, my now ex-boyfriend, cheated on me. I would face him later, but for now, I needed time to myself. 

With classes continuing, my room was completely empty. The moment the doors shut, the tears began to roll down my face. I scanned the contents next to my bed. There were those stupid flowers that Sirius had given me the previous Friday. 

I stood in front of them on my night stand. I felt all the hurt and anger that had been numb explode. They burst. My hands acted on their own accord. I picked up the flowers in my hand. They were so delicate, but the anger flowed through my veins and instinct threw them against the wall. When the noise of the limp plants didn’t give me any satisfaction, I followed the flowers with the vase. The smashing sound of glass against the wall was all I needed to hear to know that I was broken inside.

 I skipped my afternoon classes, falling into a heavy sleep, exhausted from the crying. It felt like a hippogriff had run me over. I got up to use the bathroom later and assess my running makeup and horrendous bed head. It was bad, but I didn’t care. I enchanted the door so that no one could come in. They’d only be able to enter when I gave permission. I just needed to be alone in this school that was now seeming all too small.

 When I skipped dinner too, I knew someone was bound to come searching for me eventually. Only, I was expecting Lily or one of my roommates to knock on my door. For some reason, the idea of Sirius coming to talk to me never crossed my mind. 

I heard someone attempt to push against the door as I curled up under my blankets. I felt like they would protect me from the world. 

“Love? I know you’re in there,” Sirius called out to me from behind the door. “You skipped classes and dinner.” 

His voice was so calm. Surely Lily told him that I knew the truth about his weekend. He should be a mess like I was right at that moment!

“Go away. I’m not feeling well,” I lied. I wasn’t ready to confront him then. I wasn’t ready to even look at him. 

“Evans told me,” he sighed. I could hear his fingernails scratching against the wood. Another pause. “I know you know.” 

“Then you know why I don’t really want to talk to you.” I couldn’t help but let the blunt words take the place of my gasping and sobbing. I’d rather him hear the harshness in my voice than any of the hurt. 

“Y/N, darling. I will take it all back if you just give me one chance. It was a moment of weakness, love. With the party and the alcohol, it just happened. It meant nothing though.” 

I had no response for him. I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. 45 minutes may have passed. Sirius tried to speak to me a few more times. I even heard him trying to counter the charm I used to lock the door, but he couldn’t. He had no choice but to leave. 

I endured the cooing and sympathies from my roommates, but I hated it. I hated feeling like this. I hated feeling hopeless. This wasn’t my fault. I was a victim, but I’m not weak. 

I couldn’t sleep all night, so I silently moved around the room and placed all of Sirius’ things in a bag. His records of the muggle music he adored, the remnants of the flowers, even the pictures of the two of us. I didn’t want them. 

I marched down to breakfast with the strong intent of telling him off in front of everyone. Everybody in this bloody school knew what had happened by now. I’m sure Marlene basked in the mess she caused and would tell anyone who wanted to hear about it. So, I wasn’t going to let our break-up be ruined by rumors. I’d let everyone witness it first-hand. 

I combed my hair. Redid my make-up. This didn’t hide the fact that I had been crying all day and night, but I don’t care. I needed to do this.

So now, here I am, standing outside the Great Hall. Students from all the houses are eating their breakfasts and I’m holding this bulging bag. 

I feel Lily Evans’ bright green eyes on me as I walk down the length of the Gryffindor table to where she was sitting with Sirius and the other Marauders. From the short glance towards her, I can’t tell if she is scared about what I am going to do or proud. I don’t really care at this point though. I am here on a mission. 

“Pads,” Remus whispers as he is the first one to see me walking towards the group (aside from Lily). 

I’m carrying this bag and just thinking to myself how strange it is to think the songs we used to sing, the smiles, the flowers, and everything is just gone. His dark, piercing eyes met my own. He doesn’t look like a mess. He looks perfect like he always does. This recognition just fires the anger that has been building up inside of me all morning. 

“Y/N? You’re up! Excellent!” Sirius smiles at me. He reaches out to take the bag from me as if he’s helping. “I was thinking perhaps we could have a chat this morning before classes? We could go to the courtyard.” 

I examine him. He seems different to me now. He was pretending like nothing was wrong while he was in front of his friends. I can read him. I know this. 

“I don’t think so, Sirius. Those are your things.” I spit out at him, pointing to the bag now in his hands. Hoping that I am wearing a blank face, I watch his fall. I know he can tell what I’m feeling through my Y/E/C eyes. He always did say that they gave me away every time. 

“I told you last night though. It didn’t mean anything.” 

Scoffing, I can’t stop myself from shaking my head. “No, Sirius. Yesterday I found out about you and even now just looking at you feels absolutely wrong! I heard you last night. You say that you’d take it all back given one chance. It was a moment of weakness-” My arms were flailing as I began to yell. I’ve never been capable of keeping my voice down. I know I’m loud. “And you said yes!” The words bellow out of my throat and I feel like they echo. I don’t know. I’m mad. I’m not finished either. 

Sirius looks at me as if he wants to speak, so I have to cut him off quickly. 

“You don’t get to talk yet.” 

The silence of the Great Hall was deafening. I know that everyone is watching us. Although, I am feeling extra strong. Maybe all those girls that Sirius screwed over in the past were sending me their strength. 

“I was studying the night of the party. It was the first one that I missed and you messed it all up! Here’s what should have happened.” My hand motions are taking over as the words roll off my tongue. I didn’t even plan any of this. “You should’ve said no, you should’ve gone home, you should’ve thought twice before you let it all go. This school is so damn small that you should’ve known that word about what you did with her would get back to me!” 

Maybe I shouldn’t have just pointed to Marlene at that point…oh well. Put my focus back on Sirius. 

“I should have been there in the back of your mind. I shouldn’t be asking myself why all of this happened. You shouldn’t be sitting outside of my room begging for forgiveness at my feet. If you would’ve said no, we would still be together. I did everything right! This is your fault!” 

His eyes widened at my words. I can’t look at him anymore. I’m not eating breakfast, but it’s fine. I would be on a high from this for at least a little while. I could probably get through my morning classes. I don’t have any with Sirius, so that wouldn’t be a problem. I do have them with Remus, so that could pose an issue, but with what I am feeling right now, I can take it. 

“Y/N! Wait up!” Lily’s red hair chased me from the crowded hall. Her face was lighting up everything else. “That was awesome! I mean, Sirius isn’t looking too great, but you were fantastic! I think some people wanted to applaud you on your way out.” 

My high began to fade. I didn’t mean to make him feel awful. I just didn’t want to let it seem like he could walk all over me and what he did was okay. It isn’t okay! Cheating is one of the lowest things a person could do! 

Lily could see the uncertainty on my face. “Was I too hard on him? Should I have done that in private?” I could feel my eyes begin to puff and redden again. 

“He deserved it, Y/N/N. What he did to you wasn’t in private, so I think this is justice.” Lily smiled. 

That smile quickly fell. I turned to follow her line of sight. Sirius stood there, just looking at me. He was being quick to run up to me. 

“Can we please talk?” 

“That’s not a good idea.” 

“I said I’m sorry. It’s all in the past!” His eyes are pleading with me, but I just can’t do it. “I want to be with you, Y/N! I have wanted to be with you for the longest time. It was just a moment of weakness. If you could just give me a chance, please?” 

“You hurt me, Black.” I needed to stop and cringe. I used to only call him by his last name and it felt wrong to be using it again. “You can tell I’ve been crying, just look at my eyes! I’m sure everyone can see it. And you know all the right things to say! You’ve always been good with words. That’s one of the reasons I fell for you. But do you honestly expect me to believe that we could ever be the same after this? You should’ve said no, Black.” 

I turn to walk away, Lily being supportive next to me, but something is tugging on me, a question I didn’t realize I had, so I turn back to Sirius. 

“I need to ask you something before I go. I can’t resist. Was it worth it? Was she worth all of this?” 

Sirius hung his head. I haven’t seen him like this since he decided to leave home, and I was just a friend at that point. “No. She wasn’t.” 

I nod, accepting the fact that he understands that he messed up. Maybe, in the future I can forgive him for this and even be friends, but like I said, we could never be the same. Walking away right now seems like the best option for me though. With Lily beside me, I am going to go to classes and I am going to heal and move on. I said my peace to Sirius Black. He made a mistake, but I would not be the victim of the next one. 

[sssrha]

WangXian wouldn’t have been very functional pre-Wei Wuxian’s resurrection

So I was talking to @litescheme on Twitter and I decided to pour my heart out about how I hated the general fandom consensus that Wei Wuxian going to Gusu when Lan Wangji asked him to would have solved all of his problems, primarily because the idea of just straight up going to Gusu is incredibly flawed. Lo and behold, they agreed wholeheartedly. We had a great discussion and now I’m here to relay the discussion onto Tumblr in essay form uwu.

(By the way, this is based mostly on CQL with a good bit of novel added in, as well as a few hints of the donghua.)

Part One: “Come back to Gusu!” is a great romantic notion but a terrible plan of action.

First of all, one must ask the question: what on Earth was Lan Wangji’s game plan with the whole “Come back to Gusu!” thing? I think we can all agree that most of the Lan Sect hated Wei Wuxian - by the end, at least. Lan Xichen certainly had less than charitable feelings toward him. With such a hostile environment, the only way I can see Wei Wuxian surviving within the Sect is while being forced into a Madam Lan-type situation. I find that prospect more reminiscent of a horror movie than a heartwarming fic about healing.

Luckily for us, we can safely say that canon Lan Wangji would not have done that! Due to certain childhood trauma, Lan Wangji definitely would not have forced Wei Wuxian to do anything, go anywhere, or stay anywhere that he didn’t want to. That isn’t even touching on how much Lan Wangji genuinely wanted Wei Wuxian to be happy, and forcing Wei Wuxian to do anything had generally been proven to not make him happy. Good on him!

The next point: why would Wei Wuxian have gone to Gusu in the first place? Even while ignoring WangXian’s rampant misunderstandings, Wei Wuxian always actively had a reason to not go to Gusu. During the Sunshot Campaign, he was a major player and commanded a huge amount of power that probably aided the Sects greatly. During his stay in the Burial Mounds, he had a community of war prisoners to protect. How could he go to Gusu?

I’ve seen fics where Lan Wangji ensured the safety of the Wen Remnants, and while I absolutely adore the trope, I really don’t see that happening with canon Lan Wangji. First, I don’t think he’d grown as a person enough to fully rebel against his Sect until Wei Wuxian was in immediate danger, and second, I straight up don’t think that he had the sway to. Pulling that kind of stunt implies a good deal of political power within the Sect...and also implies that Lan Wangji would have had enough power to escape a punishment which he clearly never thought he deserved. However, I could be wrong on this point! Politics has never been my forte. 

Also, I don’t think anyone can bank on the Lan Sect accepting the Wen Remnants. After all, the Lan Sect participated in the First Siege of the Burial Mounds and thus, presumably, also the slaughter of the Wen Remnants.

Upon further reflection, I figured that the only time Wei Wuxian might have actually gone to Gusu was that brief period of time after the Sunshot Campaign and before he met Wen Qing. However, for him to agree, I figured that three things had to happen:

Wei Wuxian had to understand that Lan Wangji wanted to help him, not hurt him.

Wei Wuxian had to come to the (false!) conclusion that Jiang Cheng no longer needed his help or support at Lotus Pier.

Wei Wuxian had to accept that he was worth saving in the first place.

(The concept came pre-set with some delicious Yunmeng Bros angst because Jiang Cheng would almost certainly take Wei Wuxian (permanently) going to Gusu the same way he took Wei Wuxian taking the Wen Remnants to the Burial Mounds: a betrayal, a promise broken. Emotionally, of course. There definitely wouldn’t have been political pressure closing in from all sides the way there was in canon.)

I was going to expand on that concept, but then I hit a bit of a hurdle: I genuinely did not, and still do not, see any reason for Wei Wuxian to actually go to Gusu. At that point, Wei Wuxian was doing everything he felt he needed to: he protected Jiang Cheng because Madam Yu told him to (and because he genuinely cared for him, but Madam Yu’s command was his driving force) and he only left Jiang Cheng when Wen Qing - someone he perceived himself owing a greater debt to due to the golden core removal - came along. When looking at it from that regard, I don’t think Wei Wuxian would ever see a reason to go to Gusu.

So, even after clearing up the miscommunication, Lan Wangji would have to present a good reason for Wei Wuxian to listen to him. 

I don’t think Lan Wangji going up to Wei Wuxian and saying, “Please come back to Gusu, I want to protect you,” would have worked. Considering how prideful Wei Wuxian was back then - with a good bit of it justified when you consider the fact that he killed a large amount of people in a single night during the Pledge Conference (though the exact number is never actually confirmed as far as I remember) - I don’t see Wei Wuxian taking the implication that he needs protection very well. No matter how many good intentions Lan Wangji had, he would have ended up offending Wei Wuxian at that point.

Another route Lan Wangji could have taken: “Please come back to Gusu, I want to play Cleansing for you.” Again, I don’t think this would have worked. (At least, that was definitely his stance in CQL and Wei Wuxian still didn’t do anything.) In Chapter 78, Wei Wuxian mentioned that the Sound of Lucidity had no effect on him. The Sound of Lucidity is, presumably, one of the Song(s) of Clarity, of which Cleansing is the most powerful. Lan Wangji used the Sound of Lucidity at the Pledge Conference after the battle had started. I don’t exactly know why he didn’t use Cleansing when it was more powerful... Either way, after he played the Sound of Lucidity, Wei Wuxian said, “You should’ve known since long ago—Sound of Lucidity is useless to me!” Thus, Lan Wangji asking him to go to Gusu so he could play Cleansing probably wouldn’t have seemed like an especially compelling reason to Wei Wuxian.

After some thought, I figured that post-resurrection, Wei Wuxian agreed to stay with Lan Wangji in the Cloud Recesses after the mystery was solved because:

He was not as prideful as pre-death Wei Wuxian.

He saw no reason to go back to Lotus Pier since Jiang Cheng made it very clear that he was unhappy with him.

He managed to process and confess his feeling to Lan Wangji, who did the same.

Pre-death Wei Wuxian has none of this. Basically, Wei Wuxian at that point had no reason to go to Gusu for anything other than a short visit.

Now, I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but this entire time I’ve been ignoring not only the reality that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s relationship pre-death was...very bad, but also something else very important: the Stygian Tiger Seal. 

The Stygian Tiger Seal was, of course, stupidly powerful, and Wei Wuxian only kept it because it would take too much time and energy to destroy, and it was meant to deter anyone from attacking him since he already knew that so many people were against him. One of his main fears was someone else - someone with impure motives - getting their hands on it, so of course he was paranoid wondering who would try to steal it from him. Lan Wangji asking him to go to a place where Wei Wuxian would be surrounded by people who hated his form of cultivation? Yeah, that didn’t sound that great. 

(Also, can we please take a moment to appreciate this excerpt from the novel: “The Stygian Tiger Seal’s powers were considerably greater than what he had imagined. He originally wanted to use it to assist him, but its powers were almost exceeding him, its creator” (Chapter 30). Almost. He said the Seal was not as powerful as him! The Stygian Tiger Seal was, indeed, strong, but he was more so! I see a lot of fanfics paint the Stygian Tiger Seal as what made him so terrifying and...it was certainly a part of it, but he did most of it on his own! Ah, we love terrifying main characters~)

Now, I’ve acknowledged the existence of WangXian’s miscommunication, but I’ve never actually addressed it. So, here it is: I do not think Lan Wangji confessing to Wei Wuxian (even before his stint in the Burial Mounds after the Bloodbath at Nevernight) would have gone well. In Chapter 2, there is this excerpt: “Wei WuXian’s eyebrows twitched. Not only a lunatic, a homosexual lunatic as well.” This requires a bit of interpretation because it’s not exactly clear what Wei Wuxian’s eyebrow twitch means, but I’ve always interpreted it as annoyance - or even disgust - at the addition of “homosexual” to Mo Xuanyu’s profile. I’m not saying that Wei Wuxian was necessarily homophobic before the entire events of the novel, but I sincerely don’t think Wei Wuxian would have appreciated Lan Wangji - or any other man, for that matter - confessing to him. If even (immediate) post-resurrection Wei Wuxian had that attitude, I can imagine what would have gone through pre-death Wei Wuxian’s head. 

So, Sunshot Campaign, post-Sunshot Campaign, and Yiling Patriarch Wei Wuxian would all definitely not go back to Gusu, nor would they appreciate a confession from Lan Wangji. That leaves the question: what about pre-Sunshot Campaign Wei Wuxian?

Part Two: Why I really don’t think WangXian would have worked out pre-Sunshot Campaign.

From here on out, “Wei Ying, come back to Gusu!” is no longer relevant because, well, Lan Wangji never said it before the meeting in the supervisory office. (And I think I’ve made my point regarding that as well as I could.)

Starting with Cloud Recesses-era Wei Wuxian...I think that, out of all the different versions of Wei Wuxian, he would have been the one of the two most-likely to get together with Lan Wangji (pre-resurrection, of course). Even then, I don’t see that high a likelihood of that actually happening. Why? Repression! Fuck both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were so deeply repressed at that point! Lan Wangji was obviously more aware of his feelings, and Wei Wuxian...I don’t know, I haven’t read the novel far enough to actually have this be a legitimate interpretation, but looking at CQL, I don’t really think Wei Wuxian was in love with Lan Wangji at that point (but I don’t have much evidence to back that up other than my a-spec radar...).

And even if they did somehow manage to overcome their repression - and actually both had feelings for each other in the first place - they were still teenagers! Fifteen at the beginning, I’m pretty sure, and fifteen-year-olds are decidedly bad at maintaining any sort of relationship. That doesn’t even touch on the fact that WangXian was probably legitimately incompatible at that point. Lan Wangji still lived and breathed the rules and Wei Wuxian didn’t give a fuck about them. To maintain any sort of long-term relationship, they’d have to simultaneously undergo a whole novel of character development...which is doable! But! I don’t exactly see it as plausible.

Then, of course, Wei Wuxian got kicked out of the Cloud Recesses and WangXian didn’t see each other until two years later, at the Discussion Conference in Qishan. I don’t really see long-distance relationships working out very well in ancient China, so I can’t imagine them properly maintaining their relationship throughout that. And, of course, Lan Wangji’s rage after Wei Wuxian pulls his forehead ribbon was also due to his repression. Considering how short the Discussion Conference seemed to be, I don’t think there was much room for a relationship to develop. 

At the Indoctrination Camp, Lan Wangji had a whole swarm of things to worry about other than his (frankly painful) pining for Wei Wuxian so, again, I don’t see a romantic relationship developing at that point in time. 

A time-frame that I think can be uniquely isolated as a very possible place to develop their relationship would be while they were trapped in the cave with the Tortoise of Slaughter. Mostly before they killed the beast, though, since afterward, Wei Wuxian had too much of a fever for any romantic shenaniganry. My reasoning is that the cave was the first time since Wei Wuxian’s punishment in the Cloud Recesses that the two of them were forced to spend a long stretch of time together, and thus could potentially open up to each other. I remember in the anime that Lan Wangji sheds a few tears as he mentions that the Cloud Recesses had burned, that his brother was missing, and that his father was...dead? Severely injured? One of those two. He was back in business-mode pretty soon afterward, but if Lan Wangji could have been persuaded to open up a bit more by an persistent and concerned Wei Wuxian, I can see a slow confession being teased out of him - there was certainly enough time!

Then again, them getting together would only happen if Wei Wuxian were both comfortable with the idea of gay men and willing to accept that he was, in fact, attracted to Lan Wangji, and if Lan Wangji were willing to let go of the rules enough to be comfortable with Wei Wuxian’s naturally rebellious nature.

After that, WangXian doesn’t meet again until the supervisory office, and I’ve already talked about all of that.

In conclusion, “Come back to Gusu!” was sweet but misguided and WangXian wouldn’t have effectively happened pre-resurrection.

Now, what does that mean for you? ...Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. This doesn’t mean I’m forsaking all fics where WangXian gets together pre-resurrection (in fact, I absolutely love them!) and I’m definitely not trying to say that my interpretation is the only right one. I’m not trying to police what everyone thinks and decree that all fics where Wei Wuxian is open about liking men are wrong or any crap like that. Those fics are great and I love them! These are my (and @litescheme’s) thoughts on the matter that I (we) wanted to spill out into the greater world! You can agree, you can disagree, you can ignore me (us) entirely! But if you read through this meta, then I’m assuming that you found the concept interesting. That is all I was going for!

(Well, that and trying to thoroughly debunk the notion that Yiling Patriarch Wei Wuxian getting shoved into seclusion in the Jingshi by an apologetic Lan Wangji would be in any way “healing” or even “good” for Wei Wuxian, because honestly? Fuck that.)

Ahh, thanks for reading!

[heresathreebee]

No Touching

[Ava Starr x Female!Reader]

Summary: Friend dates with Ava always brighten your day (and night). Tonight is more enlightening than brightening, though… 

Previous Masterlist Next

Word count: 1.7 words

Warning(s): 14+ | angst, gay panic, dolls, 1 (one) racist antique, Steven Segal movie, chronic pain, tears.

AN: No actually I didn't bother to edit this, not doing that anymore, I think too much as it is. As always, I write with a black reader in mind but feel free to read even if you aren't. 🖤

You are eighty percent sure that you and Ava are dating.

85%... 78%... 81.5% sure.

It would probably be best if you cleared that up (but be cool about it though). You've started seeing each other more and more, and on purpose no less. Never a dull conversation, she's reluctant to share some of her life story but she's eager to know everything about you and you're more than happy to indulge. It's not like you know nothing about her; you just don't know the specifics of her past. 

Her parents died when she was young, she's ex-military (you think?), and she just came off of a huge life change and is getting used to what she calls 'real life.' You figure out she's a bit of a shut in and hates crowds, so you go out of your way to show her quiet places and introduce her to things she's never tried before. The bowl by your front door where you put your keys has 20 or 30 marbles from ramune bottles in it. You can't seem to ring her secret out of her, she just gives you this cryptic knowing smile and laughs at your attempts to sweet talk or annoy it out of her. 

You feel so close, growing closer still, she's quickly become the best part of your week, and you catch yourself thinking about her even when she's not with you. But you've never held hands. Hell, you've never even so much as brushed shoulders with her by accident. If you're dating, shouldn't you at least hug her goodbye? Is she even able to be into you like that?? 

You try not to let the panic set in as you stand outside of the antiques mall. You told her you liked old things and promised to show her your favorite pastime. God, how do you go about this? Should you just flirt with her and see how she reacts? Also how does one flirt? What if you’re fucking up and she really just wants to be friends? God knows you could use some friends right now. 

When she does appear, you do nothing. You continue to act relaxed and enjoy her presence, promising yourself you’ll ask about it afterwards. Ava’s wearing that grey jacket again made of a thin sports fabric and you make a mental note it might rain today. 

“Ava,” you stage whisper, waving her out of the jewelry section by the front desk and into the maze of vintage old clothes and furniture. “Back here, to the left.” 

Deep deep deep in a corner of the massive store, Ava stops dead in her tracks (you run into her but back away quickly) and stares. 

“This... is…” Ava covers her mouth with her hands to hold her laughter in, “ghastly.” 

The shelf is wide, with dark wood trimming and protective glass. The lights are almost fluorescent as they illuminate dozens of humanoid dolls. Some are cute, but some are also creepy, unnerving, down right scary. 

You point at the one with the Jonbenet Ramsey likeness and deep cracks in her porcelain face. It was overly large compared to the rest, having to have stuffed legs crossed like a sitting child. "I think I fear that one the most." 

You felt Ava shiver and didn't even realize you were standing that close. Her eyes darted from face to face, taking in every terrible and wonderful detail of them. You smelled coconut in her hair and tried to distance yourself a bit, missing the conversation. "Huh?" 

"I said they're haunted, aren't they?" 

"That one definitely is." You look over the other dolls. "I don't know, I think the rest are kinda cute. 'Cept that one: that one can fuck off straight to hell." 

Down on the second shelf where the light began to struggle in reach belied an offensive porcelain joke. The decoration portrayed an over animated child at play, with oil black skin, fat red lips, and bulbous eyes. This child was dressed in white rags and sucking on a wedge of fruit. Guess which one. Fucking guess, I dare you. 

"It's not even a fucking doll," Ava grumbled. "Why is it here?" 

You leaned in to whisper, "someday, I'm gonna buy that thing just to fucking smash it on the pavement." 

"Oh, what a lovely sound it would make." 

You hum. "I'm not gonna give nobody money for that trash. Can't steal it either, we'd never make it to the door." 

Ava looked over her shoulder with a cheeky smile. "We?" 

You simply tilt your head at her, and she huffs out a laugh. She nodded as if agreeing with you, then drifted away from the case like a wary woman. You toured through the rest of the store like a treasure trove of other people's memories, war memorabilia, ancient brand merchandise (why would anyone want a life size green m&m in their house? Who is this for?), and paintings from the dadeism era by unpopular artists. You ate lunch at the vendor shops in downtown and retired to your place for a movie. 

You must have fallen asleep at the beginning but you came to during some big shootout between Steven Segal and generic Latino drug dealer #7 when you accidentally dropped your hand into Ava's lap. Quickly, Ava withdrawals, thrusting herself to the other side of the couch as if in disgust. Your head jerks up in hurt and confusion, you hadn't even felt anything except a light tingling. You could barely hear the tv audio over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. 

"You can't touch me," Ava spat. "You just can't. Ever. Please…" 

"I'm sorry. Ava, I– I am so, so sorry I didn't mean to–" 

"It's not your fault and you didn't know," she mumbled and faltered, "it's just… you can't." 

You feel tears prick in the corner of your eyes as you try to swallow. "I'm sorry. Really. It won't happen again." 

Ava looked up at you guiltily and sighed. She folded her legs and eased herself off of the couch arm rest, hands tucked into her lap and unable to meet your eyes anymore. 

"It's not what you think it is," she explained. "I… I have a condition of sorts. And it… it hurts.” 

Her words put a hold on the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “Like a… skin condition? Or nerves or something?” 

Ava nodded quickly. “Yes. yes, like a nerves thing. My um, my nervous system. It's chronic."

“Oh Ava,” you cover your heart with a breathy sigh, “of course! I wish I’d known I would have never–” 

“It’s not something I like to talk about.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m really glad you understand. Sorry I freaked out, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything.” 

You tried to blow a raspberry. “It’s whatever, didn’t hurt my feelings.” 

Yeah, you could hear the weakness of the lie, too. Still, Ava went and parked herself on the couch exactly where she was before– close but not too close. Warm but not quite touching. You were ready to let it slide and go right back to pretending to watch the movie when– 

“So what’s going on between us exactly? I like girls– I like you– and I don’t mean just in a friend sort of way– is it maybe sorta possible you might feel the same way about me?” 

Who said that? You? Honestly you’re feeling a little dizzy as you try and stare a hole in the tv screen. And Ava? Well at least she didn’t hold you in suspense for too long. She chuckled– and god you had to look. You had to know if she was laughing at you or with you. Your eyes snapped to her completely unmocking face. 

She blinked at you, bit her lip even. “Yes, I am.. Capable of liking girls. Might prefer them actually. And I definitely like you in a more-than-a-friend sort of way.” 

It takes a second to sink in. OK, it takes a hot minute to sink in. Like the movie ended and you walked Ava home and you slept in until 10 am and made omelettes for breakfast at noon and laid down on your floor staring at the ceiling until sundown. Yeah that kind of hot minute. And your lips curled into a soft smile because you had a girlfriend and she liked girls and you could not be happier than you are right now. 

~

Ava asked you to meet her on the corner by the antiques mall that night. You don’t know how but she got her grubby, thieving little mitts on that disgusting tar baby doll from the haunted doll shelf. You made her swear up and down she didn’t pay real money for it, then nearly pulled out your hair when you realized it meant she definitely stole it and– 

"How the ffffUCK do you just DO that?!" 

"Slight of hand," she mused. 

Fuck, and she was a geek. Yeah, you're definitely in love. She pushes the ugly thing into your hands and despite being cold porcelain it feels like it's burning. 

"Do the honors." 

There's no build up. No ceremony. You don't want to drag this out anymore. You take a swinging leap and spike that shit and watch it shatter into a hundred pieces with the most glorious sound you'll ever hear. You land in slow motion, already replaying the image of thick glass pieces cracking on the indigo pavement. You stand over your mess, triumphant. 

The quiet of the night time street drifts back to you, as does Ava. "I'll be honest I expected a big speech." 

You shrug. "I've been waiting too long to do that. Thank you, Ava. I mean it." 

"Oh believe me it was my pleasure." Ava swaggers closer to you and if you didnt know better you'd think she was going in for a kiss. "Tonight, the tar baby. Tomorrow, the world." 

You resist the urge to clap her on her shoulders and throw your hands in the air instead. "Sounds like a date!" 

Next

[badger-writes]

Star Wars OC Ship Week 2021 - “for light and love”

3 - Angst/Drama

When Jedi found themselves troubled, they visited the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

Throughout its history, this chamber of the Jedi Temple ziggurat had always been set aside as a meditative refuge, a sanctuary of verdant greenery and trickling waters. Assembled herein one could find a collection of flora both native and foreign, from blartree blossoms and chrysanthis shrubs to a bahnsgresk bush grove to trebala and assari trees, shading the walkways with their trunks and branches - a garden of a thousand worlds.

Though the caretakers of this special corner of the Temple had always strived to enforce a kind of olamic traditionalism to its furnishings, the spirit of the times sometimes encroached upon this timeless space; and so the High Republic crept into the Room of a Thousand Fountains by way of its masonry, which now favored heavy geometric influences, stylized decorative reliefs, and smooth, streamlined lines which swept their way around the room in a sheen of gold and marble. These elements existed alongside their landscaped counterpoints in a carefully cultivated balance; a chamber with one foot in the ageless past, and the next in the bold, brilliant future that the Republic promised to all.

Here, one could pause for a moment, immersed in the energy of the Living Force, and reflect upon themselves and their place in the universe.

It was not a place Sskeer visited often.

Though the paths were lined with benches to encourage thoughtful rest, he preferred to keep moving, pacing through the gardens at a stride just above his typical walking speed; his feet seemed to slap the stone walkways no matter how he tried to control himself, trying to beat out his frustrations through their soles. Not for the first time, he considered that the best place for him to ruminate on his disquiet was not the Room of a Thousand Fountains. In the sparring chambers, at least, he would be less… disruptive.

He rounded a corner, emerging from a grove of hedges, and stopped. At the end of the short path rolling out before him lay a plaza surrounding one of the chamber’s great sculpted fountain fixtures; a great bowl-shaped basin spread out from its center, and rising into the air within its circumference were several other, smaller basins, overflowing with hanging moss and vines and pakiphanto ear plants, each of them carrying a tiny stream of clear water which trickled from their highest point to their lowest and back again. A tiny column-shaped islet rose out of the center of the basin, only large enough to hold the holoprojector installed in its capital; out of the projector’s eye shimmered an image of one of the era’s eventual Great Works, the Starlight Beacon. The huge space station, when it was finished, would be an outpost of progress and charity to all the worlds of the Outer Rim, a promise of the prosperity of the Republic and the justice of the Jedi. It hovered above the surface of the waters, framed by the hanging gardens, spinning slowly on its axis. Even on this much, much smaller scale, Sskeer couldn’t help but be impressed.

Someone else was standing at the edge of the basin - a Rodian with pale skin and a rather distinctive topknot. Sskeer crossed the way over to his side.

“Healer Lem,” he rumbled, crossing his arms. “It’s good to see you.”

“Oh,” Kelto mumbled, glancing. “Hello, Sskeer.”

“You appear troubled.”

“Am I so obvious?”

“It is no sin. I find myself frustrated tonight as well.”

Kelto hummed. The sound of it was hollow - less inquisitive, more melancholy. “I don’t know if I can help with that, but, you know… let me know.”

Sskeer cocked his head. “Why would you think that?”

“I just - I’m not a Consular, that’s all. Cuts and bruises, I can handle. The talking thing, it’s… I don’t do that so well.”

“Perhaps. But even so, as long as you’re here... I would appreciate your company. And I sense you would benefit from mine.”

“I… maybe. I guess.”

The Trandosham crossed his arms and raised an brow. “Perhaps you would like to discuss what’s been troubling you?”, he suggested.

Kelto opened his mouth… and closed it. “No, no. That’s okay. Thank you, but... I’ll manage.”

“Are you sure?”

“I mean, it’s pretty late already. The last thing you must want is to stand here and listen to my problems.”

“Try me.”

A shrug.

Sskeer exhaled slowly through his nose. His gaze flicked back to the pool before them, where waterlilies floated tranquilly upon the rippling face of the waters.

“I think I should insist,” he said quietly. “As a friend.”

“... I don’t want to burden you.”

“It wouldn’t be a burden.” A pause. “Not from you.”

Sighing, Kelto fell silent. He, too, kept his eyes fixed on the pond’s mirrorlike surface. Then, slowly, his gaze turned upwards, towards the hologram suspended above them.

“That’s really something,” he said wonderingly. “Isn’t it? The Beacon, I mean. It’s just... incredible. That the Republic and the Jedi can build something like that? Imagine what it can do for people living on the frontier.”

Nodding, Sskeer studied the diagram as well. “A space station on the galactic fringe can do little by itself,” he commented. “It needs people, too. Diplomats, explorers…”

“Guardians,” Kelto said wryly.

“Yes. And healers.” Sskeer gave him a sympathetic glance. “It would be an honor to be stationed there, would it not?”

The Rodian pursed his lips. They flattened into a noncommittal line as he shrugged. “Not really my thing,” he mumbled.

“I find it hard to believe you’d refuse an assignment where you could do so much good so easily.”

“Yeah, well.” And then Kelto went silent, leaning against the rim of the fountain.

Sskeer let his arms fall to his sides, brow furrowing. “You’re serious.”

A sad little shrug.

“You’d really waste your talents hiding in the Temple, rather than using them for the good of others? Without even an explanation? Are you so callous?”

In truth, he almost regretted saying it. But it did, at least, provoke a reaction from Kelto, who turned away from the fountain at last. “I’m not callous.”

“Selfish, then. Hoarding your knowledge and abilities for one one’s benefit but your own. Or perhaps just cowardly?”

“W-what is this, Sskeer? An inquisition? I thought you were trying to help me!”

“I am,” he said firmly. “But I don’t know what’s wrong. Blast it, Lem, it’s as if you’ve just… given up!”

Irritation launched his voice an octave higher than he meant, transforming a sentence into a bark. The lilies bobbed on the water. For a moment, Starlight Beacon flickered.

For a moment, Kelto stared at him agape, and Sskeer noticed his eyes (the first thing he’d noticed about him had been his eyes, long months ago, and the shiny white spots lying just under their aqueous outer membrane, that peculiar Rodian quality of seeming to hold a sky’s worth of stars in their surface) seemed brittle, now, and dull. Where there had once been light there was now not dark, but … an absence. An open pit in the soul.

Sskeer’s heart panged with sorrow. What frustration still lingered on his face passed like a fleeting shadow. Silently, he waited.

At last, Kelto sighed, clasping his hands back behind his waist; his fingers continued to fidget and twiddle as he turned back to the pond. For a moment, Sskeer feared he had broken their friendship, perhaps irrepairably.

Then Kelto said, “So the thing is… I’m kind of a bad Jedi.”

“No,” the Trandoshan insisted in a whisper.

“I am, Sskeer. What you said is true. And what’s more, you’re right to call me out. I’m cowardly, and selfish, and I hide myself in the healing wards instead of really doing anything with the talent and opportunities that I’ve been given. I…” He snorted, shaking his head. “I’m at the point where I fear being in public more than I fear the dark side. How stupid is that?”

Sskeer swallowed, mouth dry. He wondered what he could possibly say.

“I just… I don’t know how it happened. I was fine in the creche, I think. I- I had friends, I got along with people. I could… Star’s End, I could hold one conversation with somebody else without falling all to pieces, like I do with you.”

“That’s not your fault,” Sskeer said quickly. “I - that is, we - there’s... extenuating circumstances. Passion is just - ”

“Yeah, HoloNet news flash: feelings are hard,” Kelto murmured darkly. “Believe me, big guy, I know.”

“I only wanted to--” Sskeer grunted, biting his tongue. If only Jora Malli were here to help him talk some sense into Kelto.

“But then I grew up,” Kelto continued. “And I was still, you know, okay! I could… work with my Master, and with others, and I helped people… and then I was knighted, and I just… there was all this shyness and anxiety inside of me, and it just kept growing and growing and growing until… until I just couldn’t take other people anymore, except when I had the energy for it.

“I think that’s the real reason I transferred back to the Temple. I just… couldn’t take it anymore, putting myself out there. At least in the medical bay, it’s just a job. You can find a niche and serve and go back to your quarters. You don’t have to… to be seen all the time.

“But who did I serve, huh? Younglings with scraped knees and bloody noses. Nobody who really needed it. Nobody who would’ve died if I hadn’t been there. Meanwhile, how many people on the frontier do you think need a healer right now? How many won’t last the night? Because right now, Sskeer, I’m letting down all of them. And believe me, I know it.”

Kelto paused, taking a gulp of air, and looked up at the brilliant blue hologram again. “And then I heard about Starlight Beacon. And I felt… I felt something, deep down. Like the Force was trying to give me a second chance. Like I could - like I could make up for all of it, if I could only just get over myself.

“And I tried to,” he said thickly, snout quivering. “Please, Sskeer - believe whatever you want about me, but please, please believe I tried to fix whatever’s wrong with me. But-- b-but I just--”

Sskeer took him by the elbow and turned him back towards himself, grasping his much smaller arms in his clawed fingers. “Don’t talk this way,” he murmured. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true.”

“W-well, maybe it is,” Kelto hiccupped, eyes wet. His face crumpled more and more the longer he spoke. “After everything with me, and then you, and the Code -- maybe I just can’t hack it as a Jedi. Maybe I was never supposed to, a-and I just got lucky, and now - and now I - ”

“What, Kelto?”

“And now I’m dragging you down with me.”

For a long moment, they stood there, staring at each other. Kelto sniffled horribly, scrubbing at his eyes with the heel of one hand. Sskeer’s mouth hung slightly agape, but his mind seemed to be lost somewhere, thrown far away.

“Just let me go,” he whispered, blinking hard. “Please. I- I’ll go, okay? I can just… leave. The Jedi - they’ll all be better off, and - a-and so will you.”

“No,” Sskeer said suddenly. His grip tightened around Kelto’s arms like a vise.

“I-I’m serious, big guy. I think… I think I’m done. I tried, and-- and I failed.”

“You listen to me, little healer. You will not leave, and you will not give up on yourself, do you understand? I won’t allow it. I refuse to.”

 “Sskeer - Sskeer, please, come on. I’m not worth it--”

“Yes you are,” the Trandoshan hissed. “Even if you won’t see it.”

“Look here,” he continued, seizing one of the Rodian’s wrists. He pushed the palm of Kelto’s hand into his chest, letting his fingers splay out against his robes, over his heart. “Remember what you did here, for someone you barely knew. Remember how you used your gift for nothing else than to help a creature in need. Does that seem like failure to you?”

Kelto shrugged weakly, trembling.

“And then you confronted that fear and anxiety inside, that same day, and every day after that. All for the sake of me. Would a coward do that, Kelto?”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe?” He swallowed. “I-it was hard, sometimes.”

“I know this now, Kelto. I wish I had before. Perhaps I could have… helped, somehow. Or found some way to help you reach out.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” the Rodian muttered, hanging his head. “This - this isn’t something you could have fixed, Sskeer. It was always my problem alone.”

Sskeer growled, deep in his throat. When he turned back to face the pond, he kept his arm around Kelto’s back, still clasping his arm - holding him gently against his side.

“You remind me of myself,” he said finally.

“Now that’s a joke,” Kelto said, sniffing. “I’m - I’m a hot mess, Sskeer. You, you’re just… you’re everything a Jedi Knight should be. You’re magnificent. How could you possibly compare yourself to somebody like me?”

“Did you think you were the only one who doubted his place in the Order?”

Kelto looked up at Sskeer, stunned. The Trandoshan, in turn, stared into the fountain. Starlight Beacon’s reflection glimmered in his eyes; slowly, as he let a sigh out through his nostrils, they fell shut.

“I have… often found myself uncertain about my place in the Jedi,” he said at length. “There are times when our teachings and precepts seem to be... fundamentally incompatible with - who I am. Or, what I am.”

He raised one three-fingered hand out before him, looking down at it, turning it this way and that. He examined the thick scales which lined his skin, the blunt claws that tipped each finger. Shame crept into the lines of his face.

“I am Trandoshan. I know this is no surprise to you - and I, myself, have had many years to acquaint myself with this truth. But for many in the galaxy, when they meet a Jedi Knight for the first time, it is a… surprising thing. For some, it’s even… repulsive. And for that, I cannot judge them.

“The T’doshok may be my race, but I could never call them my people. Not for their instincts for slaughter and cruelty, not for their hunters who trap animals and slaves for their sport, not their ‘Scorekeeper’ who tallies points to the scale of their butchery - the very thought of  It is anathema to life itself. A… disgusting perversion of the natural order of the universe. I can be party to none of it.

“And yet-- if not for the Seekers, I might have been. Had the course of my life taken one turn and not another, it would be I hunting the innocent and the weak, soaking my claws in the blood and the filth of that detestable culture. And I’m reminded of that whenever I meet those I’m oathsworn to protect - and the world I’ve left behind is all of myself that they can see.”

“W-well - well, that’s just - that’s just other people, Sskeer, they don’t know any better. And besides, you’ve - you’ve overcome that through your training, right? And your discipline. So.. so it’s not even a problem.”

“Were it so easy to believe,” Sskeer exhaled, clenching his fist.

“What do you mean?”

“There are… moments. When I speak, when I act. When I swing my lightsaber. There’s a - it’s like a beast, Kelto. Like a dragon, inside of me, coiled around my heart. My intensity, ferocity… my frustration… I think this is where they come from. For a long time I believed I was battling the Dark Side, the little bit of it within us all, as a Jedi should. But… perhaps it is deeper than that. Perhaps it is an instinct, a genetic memory. Something in the blood.

Perhaps, as you said, it’s something about myself that can’t be fixed.”

He didn’t know what he’d expected would happen - perhaps a weight would lift from his shoulders. Perhaps the shadow which clung to his heart and his mind would finally pass when he was able to find the words, and speak them. But something would happen, surely, when he finally let this secret shame pass his lips.

Instead, he felt exactly the same. Life was proceeding exactly as it had before. Nothing had changed.

He was still a Jedi. He was still a Trandoshan.

Kelto was still looking at him. He still seemed stricken, but no longer as badly rattled. Sskeer let his hand fall back to his side and turned his face back towards the hologram of Starlight Beacon.

“But perhaps that’s not the point,” he continued. “If we could all banish the flaws within ourselves for all time with only a little effort, we would all be totally perfect creations. Perhaps the point is not whether our feet will always keep to the path of the righteous, but that we walk it as best we can, because the promise of something better lies at its end. Perhaps how far we can walk it does not matter, so long as we remain willing to take another step.

“That is what I think, anyway. And that is why I stay. And as long as I believe that, I can beat back the darkness inside of me a little longer.”

Kelto stared up at him wonderingly. He turned to watch the hologram as well, and for a moment’s pause they watched it slowly turning on the surface of the water, surrounded by verdant, flowering life.

“Every life saved, every battle won, every choice made - every time we turn towards the light, is its own victory. All of it, so that we might bring a light as brilliant as this into the universe,” Sskeer observed. “But we must confront our fears and doubts, and conquer them, before they extinguish our own. How else can we make such things be?”

Kelto tried to swallow, and choked. He brought his fingers up to clasp the Trandoshan’s where they curled around his arm. They didn’t feel monstrous at all. They felt like a friend’s.

“You… you really think I can do it?”

“I know it.”

“I-- gods,” he whispered. “I just-- I’ve tried to go it alone for so long.”

“You shall do so no longer.” Gently, Sskeer turned the Rodian to face him, clasping his hands in his own. “On my oath as a Guardian, Kelto Lem, I vow to do all I can to help you conquer these inner demons. If I must, I will protect you from yourself, as I have tonight. From this moment forward, your pain shall be mine, too - until we banish it forever, no matter how long that takes.

“In turn, I must ask that you swear to join me in this effort with equal vigor and equal determination, until - by virtue of our own will and discipline - you are once more the Jedi that I believe you can be.

“For light and for life.”

“...For light and for life,” Kelto echoed.

Sskeer hummed, nodding. He touched his knuckle against the bottom of Kelto’s chin. “You’re on your oath, now,” he rumbled. “No more talk of leaving.”

“R-right.” The healer took a shaky breath, swallowing, then forced it out slowly through his lips. “I-- thank you, Sskeer. This - this was a dark night for me. The darkest in a while.”

“I shall ward them away,” he replied, a hand to his chest. “That they may torment you no longer. And,” he added, smiling, “you in turn, I think, shall do the same for me.”

Kelto smiled too, brittlely, lips trembling at their corners. Finally, when he could bear it no longer, he threw himself into Sskeer’s arms, burying his face in his chest.

“Thank you,” he mumbled through happy sobs. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…!”

Slowly, Sskeer returned the hug, wrapping his arms as securely around Kelto as he could without crushing him. The Rodian was stood on his toes, swaying, trying to make himself as tall as himself; he shushed into his ear softly, stroking the back of his head with the pads of his fingers.

“I love you so much, Sskeer,” Kelto confessed.

Sskeer shushed him again. The healer was already emotionally compromised enough for one night. There would be time enough to untangle those feelings later - time enough for them both.

Instead, Sskeer held Kelto against his chest and gazed up at the dream of Starlight Beacon, and hoped that one day, both of them would be worthy enough to reach it.