#yeah so thats my update i just think its time i finally open up on here abt it but i know its gonna be annoying so ill keep it to the tags

[burn-before-reading]

hiii! could i pls request reader x joost where reader meets his friends??? (stuntje, apson, tantu etc.) :3 thank u!!

Smitten

Joost Klein x shy! reader

word count: ill count it later

warnings: anxiety, imposter syndrome

a/n: This one got away from me. it was supposed to be shorter hahaha. idk if its what you expected but i had fun writing it :) not related to this fic but i love this picture so much Joost in skirts yall <3

also mini life update im finishing school rn so thats my focus. won’t completely abandon this blog but ill be offline a lot

RPF Below the cut ——

“We komen te laat, liefje” (we are gonna be late, love.)

You quickly slipped your shoes on and grabbed your jacket before meeting him at the door. opening your arms you do a little spin to show off your outfit.

“I look okay?”

“Yes, you look beautiful don’t worry.”

“Okay okay. Do the shoes match tho? I think maybe the black boots went with it better, and the shirt feels too fancy, gimmie like five-“

“Schatje,” he coos, grabbing your shoulders to steady you. He starts rubbing them slowly and you take a big breath in and out to relax yourself. “Its just my friends, they’re gonna love you I promise.”

“I know I know, I just wanna make a good impression.” you smile up at him sheepishly and he goes to kiss your forehead. he lets you go but moved his hand to grab yours and intertwines your fingers and tugs you gently out the door.

You make it to Tantu’s apartment about twenty minutes later, and you feel like you need a pep talk all over again. Joost feels your hesitation at the door and squeezes your hand tighter for reassurance before knocking. You can’t really say for sure why you are so nervous meeting his friends, but then the door opens and you are greeted by tantu himself. He introduces himself and immediately pulls you into a hug.

“we’ve heard so much about you. come in come in.”

The two of you walk in and you quickly scan the guests of the house party. Joost is familiar with most, but to you its a room of strangers and you feel all the butterflies in your stomach begin to turn. Joost leads you to where his main group of friends reside and you try to just focus on him and the feeling of your hand in his.

“Hey guys, this is y/n, my partner.” Joost introduces you to the group. “y/n, thats Apson, Alanis, Stuntje, and you met Tantu of course..” he takes the time to introduce each of his friends, and they all quickly wave or say hi to you. The girl you learned was Alanis stands up to shake your hand and go in for a hug as well, startling you again, but once again appreciating how friendly they are being.

“Hi, we’ve heard so much about you! great to finally meet you.” She takes both your hands and holds them. “You should sit.” she starts to pull you away from Joost and you turn and make a face that implies help? he just shrugs. “Theres drinks in the kitchen, Joost, if you guys want something.” she says and he hesitates before walking away.

“ill be okay for a second i promise.” you reassure. you see him slightly mouth something, probably in dutch, to Tantu, but he just shrugs and smirks before following behind.

You sit down and start to feel all their eyes on you. Tapping your foot nervously, you try to find the words to start a conversation, but Apson beats you to it.

“So you work at a coffee shop, right?” he asks. you nod.

“Yeah, for the last couple years or so. Its where I met Joost actually.” You see him just nod and smile, like he’s heard a version before.

“So, uh… what do you guys do for a living?” you ask and they start going around describing all their different creative jobs. Director, music production, art, content creation. The whole variety of creative jobs and it just makes you feel small. They are all so successful. Joost is so successful.

What are you doing here.

“So you and Joost have been dating for Three months, right?” Alanis asks, and you turn to her again.

“Uh, something like that. Its probably a little closer to 2 actually, but I guess we’ve been talking for a but longer than that so uh..” You feel a lump in your throat and start rapidly checking the room for Joost but he is no where to be seen. In your scan, you see a balcony that seems mostly empty so you quickly stand up and make an excuse to leave. “sorry, Uh, im gonna check on Joost.” you say and quickly walk the exact opposite direction of the kitchen and to the balcony. Two seconds later Joost comes back with two drinks in his hand and sees the empty spot where you should be. Glancing at the looks on his friends faces he just sighs.

“what the fuck, guys.”

-

On the balcony you try and use the fresh air to calm yourself down. Taking a breath in and out you just close your eyes in an attempt to center yourself. The sound of the screen door opens and closes behind you and you hear a voice pipe up.

“Sorry if we overwhelmed you. Joost told us you might be shy.” Alanis apologies. You open your eyes and smile at her.

“Its okay. Just feeling a bit out of place is all.” you reply and she tilts her head at your comment.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, you guys have all these super cool creative jobs, you’ve all known each other for so long it seems. Ive just barely met you all and I can already feel the talent and charisma radiating off you guys. I just make boring coffee.”

“Oh thats nonsense, you’re not boring at all. Joost wouldn’t have gone out of his way to go to your work every day if you were.” she smiles, “If we came off as overly friendly, its just because we were excited to meet the person Joost has been so taken with these past few months.”

“Guessing he talked about me a lot, huh?”

“Since day one.”

that admission piqued your interest a bit. “really?”

“Im serious. He walked out your shop that day and immediately texted Apson, ‘Just met the love of my life’ I don’t even think he had your name yet.” she laughs and you laugh a little as well learning about this side of Joost. You had known that he had been going out of his way to visit the shop you worked at as often as possible, but you didn’t know how taken he was with you right away.

“ I knew he started stopping by often, I just thought he liked our pastries.”

“He was Smitten. sorry again for being so overwhelming. Joost came back and lectured us all the second you left.” she admitted. The idea of Joost being so upset at his friends being too welcoming made you laugh.

“Its alright. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed i suppose.”

“Mind if I smoke?” Joost knocks on the open glass door before joining the two of you. He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him before lighting his cigarette and taking a drag. he takes his cigarette with his free hand to lean a little closer to you and whispers. “alles goed, liefje?" (you alright, love?)

you nod and Smile at Alanis. “Yes, just needed some air. your friends are nicer than I expected.”

He nods and squeezes your waist before taking another drag and offering you his cigarette.

“I think im gonna head back inside. you two will be good?” Alanis asks and you smile and nod.

“I’ll join you in a sec.”

She heads back in. the second she is gone Joost immediately asks. “so how much did she spill?”

“only the good stuff.” you look at him and grin. “don’t worry I was smitten from day one too.”

[r-0-x-4-s]

epic: the musical ranking to my likings (to be updated every album release!)

God Games - i think i died the first time i heard Aphrodite, all the gods, its such a fun song, i love Athena

No Longer You - prophecy song and foreshadowing 🔝 just my vibe

Just a Man - the man, the legend, the myth, would feel like a crime not putting it in the top 3

My Goodbye - i can feel Athena's and Ody hearts break, i love singing along, "You're Just a Man" chorus... chills! i love Athena pt. 2

Scylla - i love evil women doing evil shit "Drown in your sorrows and fears!!!" 💃YAS QUEEN, Eurylochus' coming out+ "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" yeah epic survival song

Suffering - i love evil women doing evil shit pt. 2, the love Ody has for Penelope>>>, such a funny song to sing along, "Penelope, why, You know I'm too shy 👉👈"

Done For - CIRCE!!! i love evil women doing evil shit pt. 3, i love circe

Wouldn't You Like - every God song is such a banger, hermes is a delight and i love his zany laughter

Ruthlessness - finally the Ocean Saga shows up! (no i totally didnt fear to write down this word *hides in dyslexic cave* i feel always proud if i can pronounce it right first try) this song is very much a slay

Remember Them - chills

Survive - yeah epic survival song pt. 2, aot vibes, i love how this one and polyphemus are attached, true epicness

Keep Your Friends Close - silly song i love with my whole heart, Aeolous is so cute!!

There Are Other Ways - CIRCE!! i love her!!

Little Wolf - why does Antino sound so good and suave, i always imagined him like a disgusting pig <3, i love Athena pt. 3

Thunder Bringer - Zeus has such a distant regal vibe, the "But we'll die/ I know" HEART BREAKING

Warrior of the Mind - a classic, maybe The Classic, i love Athena pt. 4

The Horse and the Infant -SUCH A GREAT OPENING OF THE ALBUM!! first look at zeus and so many greek "heroes" mentions!!

We'll Be Fine - Athena and Telemachus!! just this, she's not the Step-Aunt... she's the Aunt who stepped up!!! i love Athena pt. 5

Open Arms - Such a hawaiian shirt song fr fr

Puppeteer - it took me some time to warm up to it (cus of the rap, i don't listen to it usually) BUT ITS SO SILLY!!

Polyphemus - I really like the middle to end part, when Ody tries to talk his way out of the cave, and the end connecting to Survive its what we call a slay

Luck Runs Out - maybe i just dont really like the Ocean Saga lol, tho this song is very very cool, (remember seeing it in lmk video and thats what forced me to listen to the epic musical in full) before anyone comes for me THIS SONG IS GOOD BUT I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOVE IT MORE

Love in Paradise - CALYPSO IS SO GOOD!??? tho apart from her verses i don't really like anything else :(

The Underworld - everytime i get reminded Full Speed Ahead exists a part of my soul dies, tho right after "Bye, Mom" THE SONG BECOMES ONE OF MY FAVES

Monster - i think this is the song i quote the most irl, i think its low just cus its too fast for me to sing along 😭 and also its less iconic than The Underworld

Legendary - i like this a lot! such a good "I Want" Disney type song!

Mutiny - now im wondering if i should put this higher, but the problem is that (apart from the last 3 and the top 4) EVERY SONG IS INTERCHANGABLE, THEY ARE ALL GREAT IN THEIR WAY

Full Speed Ahead - the bane of my existência, i skip it 50% of the times, still has great moments like Polited and "Penelope is waiting for me"

Different Beast - the bane of my existência pt. 2, always a skip, unless im in the shower, then i would sing along while >:(

Storm - the bane of my existência pt. 3, ALWAYS A SKIP, IF IM IN THE SHOWER I GET OUT TO SKIP IT, IF STORM HAS NO HATERS IM DEAD

[winterspiderpurrs]

Alpha Bucky and Alpha Tony looking for the perfect omega to finally settle down. Here comes cute Peter and they have to keep him

They have been together for atleast 5 years now. Mated for 3 before Bucky and Tony the Alpha couple decided they wanted to grow their family and start to search for an Omega. Blind dates, friend of a friend they have had no such luck yet. Its been months and they know things will take time but no one has clicked with them.

Maybe Bucky was out with Steve complaining about how uneventful the last date was. " I dunno punk. I know these things take time but man. The last one? I'm sure Alpine was smarter then her. She looked great and was nice but I guess I've gotten used to having a genius around." Steve laughs and sips some of his tea. " You know.... before I got with Sam. Sam was seeing another Omega, just a couple of dates. He volunteers at the same center that Sam does. They actually are still friends. Meet him a few times and he actually might work for you and Tony. "

" Yeah? Hmmm... Ask Sam if he can arrange something if his friend would be interested but remember.."

" Don't mention Tony's name. I know I know."

So a few weeks later a small date was set up for Bucky and the omega. Tony thought it best to see if Bucky would think it would be worthy before introducing himself into the mix.

" Incoming call from Bucky Sir."

" Put him through Friday.... so Buckaroo its been almost four hours. Good sign or bad?" Tony said with a laugh. Hearing Bucky snort before he started talking " Good. Tones... I have a good feeling about this one."

"Oh?

" Yeah he is a real doll, babe... he's smart... he actually interned at the tower when you still lived out in Cali. Currently has a lab assistant job with Bruce"

" Bruce? Our Bruce? "

"Yes. And he still finds time to volunteer at the center and different shelters. He is from Queens and babe.... I never thought I'll find another pair of brown eyes that I could just stare into and get lost in"

" Damn, okay thats a ringing endorsement.... set up another date to where I could meet him?"

" Next Thursday. 6:30 at the little Italian place we like in Brooklyn. He already agreed, and I got a table in the back reseved and Tony? "

" Yeah?"

" He sent me home with baggy with a piece of cloth thats soaked in his scent to make sure we both are compatible. I promised I wouldn't open it til you could scent it too. "

" Hurry home then la mia prugna"

30 minutes later Tony and Bucky were huddled up together on the couch.

" Ready?"

" Let's get it over with"

Bucky opens the baggy and lifts the small hankie hand. He hand it over to Tony for him to smell first but he was already smelling the mouth watering scent. Watching Tony as he inhales another deep breath. His eyes dilating pupils blown, his hand has aslighy tremor as he hand the cloth over to Bucky to get a deep smell.

" We need to see about moving that date up sooner.... and maybe buy him a neck guard... God Bucky... how were you able to resist biting him on the spot."

" He was wearing scent blockers."

" What's his name again?"

" Peter Parker"

-*-*-*-*-*-*-**--*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hope you liked it! La Mia Prugna = my plum , since Bucky's fav is plums

***** UPDATE AS OF 4.10.23********

Part 2 added

[i-sveikata]

Tbh i understand pete, the beginning of their relationship wasn't normal or easy at all so him struggling to bottom made sense to me but as you said that he thinks Vegas will get bored eventually if pete will stop challenging him, i think i get where he's coming from , i mean we do know that Vegas loved to see pete resist and fight himself and that's what pete thinks too, that this push and pull game will keep Vegas hooked somehow, but I can't wait for him to let his guards down completely because boy you dont know how Vegas loves to see you taking initiatives and letting loose and enjoying yourself ngl Vegas loves everything pete does that man is down bad I love him so yeah I cannnottt wait for both of you to go all out and fuck

Also by any luck are we getting a chapter update tomorrow? No pressure I am just curious jfhsjdj you won't believe I actually do arrange my schedule acc to the chapter on update days lmaooooo

yeah exactly!!!! like these are the walls he first put up to protect himself and it would be such a huge undertaking for him to take them down now around vegas (esp because it twinges against petes very real hang ups about letting vegas win/ getting what he wants)

yes i think its been left so long now that pete is building it up/ combining a lot of his fears into the act of bottoming in his head- like if he says yes what if vegas repeats more of the horrible things he first said to pete about him obviously wanting it when he was a prisoner, finally confirming it as true? and if vegas wants it so bad is it still that aggravating win for him if he gets it? even if pete might want to try and reexperience it in a new way too? and what if things do change and he loses his power over vegas by giving up that last thing to him? what if vegas grows bored of the pete thats fully accepting of his wants and needs? what if its not a challenge anymore once hes decided hes won? and what if more of vegas dominating side comes out again when hes topping pete? what if he takes complete control again?

like obvs these are really valid fears but a lot of its now is sort of revolving around the fact that if pete lets this get any deeper hes giving vegas the power to hurt him (not physically of course but like emotionally- which he figured out can go badly when vegas nearly died in front of him and the idea of losing him got pete in a total panic) and thats a really big deal for pete. and which hes still trying to decide is actually worth it to open himself up to- the idea of love and loss. so its really so much beyond completely relaxing his guard for vegas. its conceding to the idea of needing him. of wanting him. of being afraid of losing him too.

but yeah honestly pete has a lot of things holding him back from going further atm- no matter how many ways hes sort of passively going along with and both outright asserting himself as part of a romantic relationship with vegas. its still all so messy in his head no matter what his feelings and attraction are. so pete is afraid of being vulnerable like that again but especially about not being in control of his own body/ vegas being in control of his body and these are all things he has to work through. but yeah youre absolutely right he doesnt realise that his fears are totally unfounded and vegas is down bad for him (and is going to absolutely lose his mind when pete starts taking initiative and being even more open about his needs) and they are absolutely going to go nuts on the sex front once they finally reach that much needed equilibrium haha.

it's actually looking less likely that i'm going to post tonight unfortunately!!! the chap editing is taking a hell of a lot longer than i expected and im honestly going to just run out of time before bed (and a girly has gotta sleep) so im guessing it'll be either tomorrow or day after- depending how the editing wraps up. (also lol @ me saying i dont post on weekdays and then immediately proving myself wrong im a clown :) )

[sphxremint]

(man this art is really old but im usin it anyway lol)

☆ Heya heya一it's me, Mint!

I'm the guy that does the funny draws (and music (and sometimes edits)).

Some of you have definitely heard that line way too many times before. Or some of you probably just know me as the Simple Yet Stupid guy. If you haven't seen me before, congratulations! You've successfully met "that guy" (me) for the first time!

This is my tumblr. I reblog stuff I think is neat and post art/music/stuff I like once every [unspecified time frame]. I dipped (sort of) from Twitter (ah, sorry一ECKS [X] as it's called now) like a year or two ago because some guy had too much fun ruining it. Now I'm here more often!

Right, this is an intro post. lemme get on that...

☆ cool things you should know

• I'm 20 (born July 4th, on MINT day. not whatever the hell independence day is. eugh)

• I'm aroace (certain of it now! we out here)

• I'm black (there's like no way to make this funnier it just is what it is)

☆ some other neat stuff

• I draw!

I'm definitely not consistent with it at all, but I'm trying, 'cause it's fun and I like doing it. I may be into a lot of medias too, but I'm mostly an oc artist, and it's a curse I will bear until the end of time

• I make music!

I'm also not very consistent with it, but I'm a bit less open about it... I do it for fun, really; though it's more of a personal thing compared to my art.

• My timezone is CST

...which is about UTC -05:00. if you need to know that. i know we all got varied timezones

• I'm very good at being inconsistent!

(such as basic punctuation and grammar. cause thats important. sometimes i'll actually use apostrophes and sometimes ill just completely forget mid-sentence. lmao)

☆ my 5 core interests

aka. The main things I like! I switch between the 5 of these on a whim. You can inquire me about any of these. Be ready when it happens.

• Sonic The Hedgehog (he's just THAT GUY, yknow. just a guy who loves adventure. ultimate life forms and whatnot)

• Kirby (i'd forfeit everything for him. #1 blorbo living life)

• FINAL FANTASY (esPECIALLY XIII and XIV. but it's mostly XIV. two lalas ready for Dawntrail WOOO)

• Celeste (#1 game ever. i love everything about it so much, i naturally get my friends to play it. i'm also pretty good at speedrunning. smile)

• and anything osc! (though I'm not part of the fandom "like that". just on the surface layer, yknow? bfdi, ii, boto, ppt2... funny shows go brrr)

☆ cool and awesome tags

□ #mint.txt = probably some random garbled text i spat out one night

□ #mintdraws = i sure do! and you should go look at it!

□ #mint.png = funny image included (not guaranteed)

□ #mint.mp3 = rarely use this but i still want people to know i make music

□ #mint.ask = because i get those. sometimes art, sometimes stupid funny stuff

□ #simple yet stupid = yeah its for those funny objects i talk about. i put this one here just in case

□ #mint's expoboard = i'm probably talking about one of my ocs

☆ and some extra stuff i guess

□ my sonas and stuff if you need that

□ my carrd! go read it cause most of my extra links (and contacts) are already there

□ my toyhou.se Did you know I have a toyhou.se? because I never shut up about my characters, and sometimes people just need the Repository of Information. well... here it is.

Okay. I'll update this post more as time goes on, but... that's about it. That was probably like a read and a half. oops.

Remember: if you do follow me, you are (unofficially) officially consigning yourself to my presence and any stupidity and/or brainrot that follows.

...if that's cool with you. lmao =ᴗ=)b

(big shoutouts to the old pinned i had. you will forever be missed)

last updated: 08 / 27 / 2024

[babyfairy]

hello…life updates lol

i saw the little mermaid with my mom and my niece (we went on my mom’s birthday 💌) and i loved it??!? i think halle was the perfect choice for ariel!! i was so enchanted by her mannerisms the entire film. she’s got such an otherworldly beauty so paired with her voice she REALLY looks and feels like a disney princess…loved her so much. no comment on awkwafina’s unfortunate addition to the film

we’re restarting one of our long running dnd campaigns and i’m pretty sad about it ❤️‍🩹 it’s the best choice because the setting was made by our DM a long time ago and she wants a reset because she’s improved her narration/lore/etc since its creation but it’s still sad and hard to let go. i’m really excited to relive some of my favorite moments with some new twists and i have a deeper understanding of my character now so i think i’ll only end up loving her more as i replay her. dnd with my friends is truly one of my favorite hobbies and it’s so important to me! there have been so many changes throughout the years i’ve played but i’m so glad to still be playing despite it because it’s very fun and therapeutic lol

i got a raise at work 🫨 not that it makes much of a difference LMFAO but i was seriously considering leaving my job before my raise so it’s nice to be making a little more money. the cost of living in washington is so insane that i feel really unsure of my future lol but it’s seriously my dream to own my own house. just a little one story house that i can call my own. i know it seems like a small dream lol but it’s literally my number one motivation and i’m always daydreaming about how i’d decorate my own home inside and out!!

i finally bought tears of the kingdom and i’ve been obsessed with it!!! not surprised because i loved breath of the wild lol. i love link so much he’s such a cool protagonist. always wanted to be like him when i was a kid LMAOO either him or sheik! i would say i’m more like a deku scrub…💀 like look at this fella…

like….???!!!! THATS ME…the lil angry face. love these guys. anyways i love the game LMAO i hit about 50 hours and realized i should maybe try tackling my first dungeon 💀 it’s just so much fun to run around and collect ingredients and koroks…plus i have a little pack of zelda amiibo cards so every day i hop on and scan them all so i can open treasure chests as a little treat…love it!!! i can’t wait to see king sidon again btw. that’s the light of my life

ever since my OCD diagnosis i’ve been avoiding my therapist (L) and struggling to really understand why but i think it’s because i feel guilty about being diagnosed LMAO…i have like this weird fixation on unknowingly manipulating/lying to others and my brain keeps trying to convince me i manipulated her into a diagnosis. i don’t feel like i have “real” OCD if that makes sense. and i feel this weird sense of guilt about making light of it or like taking resources from people with real, severe OCD. it’s frustrating because i know that’s definitely a symptom of OCD but i also feel like none of my symptoms are legitimate and they’re just delusions. it’s incessant. which like logically is that probably just a symptom of the OCD? yeah but i also am having trouble admitting that to myself for some reason lol. at least not without guilt or shame attached and i really try to avoid feeling that way if i can. anyways it’s a real pain in the ass and i finally sucked it up and made an appointment for tomorrow so i can try to talk through some of this with her

i’m up and down a lot, it’s been the worst year of my life i think lol but somehow i’m still chugging along 💀 every day i put the rainbow clown wig back on and march thru my day despite it all though so it’s whatever i guess. definitely going thru my saturn return and ngl so far it sucks and i definitely hate it but you know! my 20s have been Not Great so maybe my 30s will be better for it. hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. let me know what you’re up to in my inbox if you want! i always like when people message me their life updates lol. it’s sweet when people think of me as someone they want to update ❣️

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Kenma hanging out with his 6 month old baby because her mom went to work (training is very rough now!!)

9:00 AM

“ Kenma!”

“ yes babe?”

He asks leaving the bedroom.

“ Are you really busy today?? I can’t leave karrie (THATS HER NAME OKAY) to kuro cause he said he’ll be having a meeting, and akaashi said his mental health is lower than the gas prices so he can’t take care of a child right now, but anyways can you take care of her??”

“ sure babe. I just have to go to some proposals and meetings and stream until 11pm.”

“Okay! I’ll be home around 6:30 be responsible kenma!”

“ Bye! say bye karrie.”

Your husband gets his daughter’s hand and makes a wave motion.

(Baby Karrie’s POV)

10:00 AM

You’re stuck in an uncomfortable baby seat in a car where the air freshener smells like cake.

You wail.

“ whats wrong sweetheart? C’mere”

your dad then lowers the air conditioning (he thinks it’s getting too cold and he unfortunately forgot to bought an extra blanket) (you threw up on the first one)

“ Okay we’re here. If anyone looks at you weirdly just wail at their faces.” He chuckles.

“ okay everyone, what’s up? What’s the new idea?”

“ KENMA IS THAT UR KID? OH MY GOD SHE LOOKS LIKE YOU SO MUCH.” Hinata says.

 “ SEE? SHE���S SO BEAUTIFUL” kuro adds.

 “ We’re getting a little bit off-topic here guys.”

Akaashi says.

“ Can we get mcdonalds?” Bokuto asks.

“ Can you all tell me why I’m here instead of making my wailing daughter go to bed??”

“ CAN WE ADD SPARKLY CAPES TO OUR UNIFORMS??”

Bokuto asks.

“ THAT WOULD BE SO COOL CAN WE DO THAT?”

Hinata adds.

“ first off, stop yelling you’re scaring my child, second, you guys are volleyball players not superman.”

“ anything else?”

Kenma asks, getting impatient yet his daughter was chewing on the blonde tips of his hair.

“ CAN WE DO AN AD?” Bokuto says.

“For?”

“ IDK ANYTHING ELSE?”

You see your father touching the bride of his nose.

You kept on babbling random things until-

“ dada??”

“Yes- wait what?” 

“ Oh my GOD! SHE SAID HER FIRST WORD!” Bokuto screams.

“ I am so proud of that baby!” 

Kuro says.

Akaashi fell asleep on the table while hinata broke the water dispenser (its leaking on the floor) bokuto’s drawing on the whiteboard explain how having sparkly capes on uniforms would make their performance better (newsflash he most likely would trip on them)

12:00 PM

(Lunch!)

“ I’m getting hungry and those guys wasted OUR time when we could be playing games, wanna eat fruits and lunch??”

You pointed to the chips.

“ these?? I don’t think you can have these.. but heres a peice of orange.”

(Kenma’s Point of View)

1:00pm

“ We’re finally home, thank goodness, you tired sweetheart?”

You put your tired daughter on the crib, it’s nice seeing her be peaceful for a while. she looks like her beautiful mother.

As the computer opens, you post an announcement saying you’ll be streaming at 4PM ( hoping your daughter is awake by then)

2:00 PM

(Kenma’s POV)

As you prepare to stream (updating games, preparing snacks and water also 3 cans of energy drinks and somehow a bag of chips bigger than your daughter)

You get a phone call.

“ Hey honey!”

“ hey babe? Hows work?”

“ Yeah it’s good, its just that-“

You hear what’s probably sakusa and atsumu screaming at each other, kageyama and hinata not agreeing to a single thing, and bokuto on the corner who managed to squeeze himself there.

“ Y’know you could quit, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“ silly. I can’t! I like this job, these idiots are my friends, and so are yours too.”

“ I got to go babie! Bye!”

“Bye.” You say dropping the call.

3:00 PM

Just an hour left, you started the stream with a timer popping up (R THOSE RIGHT I SEE PEEPS ON TWITCH DOING THOSE)

Getting all the stuff you need on a small table next to your desk, You kinda feel lonely, your daughter is sleeping and your wife is hanging out with her friends.

“She’s better with me.”

“I miss her so much.”

4:00 PM

(kenma’s pov)

“ she’s not awake yet? That’s weird.”

You check on your daughter on the other room ( she’s still there don’t worry)

“ that’s rare.”

As the stream starts everyone and the chat goes loud.

“ hey guys. What’s up?”

After 30 minutes of being focused on a game, you check up on your daughter again.

“ She’s still asleep?? Is this even normal? She’s not crying as if we’re cooking her alive??? wow!”

He goes back to the room.

“ sorry to keep you guys waiting. Let’s continue this.”

stancats4: Why do you keep on leaving the room??

You see the question, you get a bit irritated by this question yet answer by:

“ Just busy taking care of someone special. That’s all” you smile.

The chat somehow goes wild with you smiling, this is how far they can get with you anyways.

5:00 PM

( Kenma’s POV)

 “ She’s still asleep?? Wow.” 

You’re looking at your peaceful daughter, who’s been sleeping for 4 hours now.

It’s getting lonely, you miss them both even if they’re near.

As the last game comes to an end, you ask the chat what to play next?

“ this is like the last chapter what else do you guys wanna play??”

matchalatte: you should play animal crossing!

You squint your eyes to see the suggestion

“ animal crossing?? Sure i guess.”

Moments after joining the game you hear a famillar sound.

Your daughter was crying from the other room.

You rushed there.

“ hey baby, had a great nap didn’t you?? Come here with me.”

( here’s where more chaos starts.)

“ Okay guys, let’s continue.”

“ No karrie- thats my CPU that heats up, you’ll get hurt. No- karrie!”

(He’s not mad dw)

“ what are you pointing to??”

She’s pointing to the can of energy drink.

“ You can’t have that, anyways eat this.”

You paused the game.

Your daughter ends up crying really loud.

“ What’s wrong?, this isn’t even expired.”

You taste the baby food (just checking if its still good ofc)

 “ what the- YUCK. If i was an 8 month old baby and they told me to eat this, I’d cry louder than you, let’s get you nicer food.”

He brings his laptop, and then goes to the kitchen.

“ Okay you like bananas right? Let’s mush them with honey”

after minutes of doing the work you spoon feed your daughter. 

“ Okay guys, might aswell end this. Bye for now.”

He ended it early because he thought his daughter was getting tired and scared of the webcam.

6:00 PM

As the blue sky slowly and slowly fades, you craddling your daughter, knowing this won’t last forever.

Yes she’ll always be your daughter you think, but will she always need you? Will she ever call one day and tell you how was her day? Will she ever remember you when she has a family of her own? 

This sounds like he’s overthinking yet, he just likes to think how he’s enjoying every moment because all of this, everything that surrounds him, will never last forever.

He hears the doorknob jingle a bit.

“I’m home!” (Y/N says)

“ how’s our sweet cherry??”

 “ she’s doing good, just good.”

Shout out to Venn for keeping the live action headcanons rolling 🥰

[emmacreatures]

Considering a deal..

IM BACK!! Ngl, i'm a little doubtful about this next one!! Some parts I like, but its- RGHDJNF despite I'm mostly obsessed about Ka'am and Quaritch, especially after his update, they're so difficult to write, but I hope you guys enjoy despite i'm still doubting about it hsjdbd, I might tweek some things here and there but, we'll see! this is a follow up on PET PEEVES! Absolutely Ka'am x Quaritch focused, with some Ter'ran and lyle in there! Enjoy

FOLLOW UP ON THIS: https://www.tumblr.com/emmacreatures/712710128372252672/pet-peeves

For Ka'am had gotten into the woods with his thanator.. Lyle and Ter'ran had caught up.. Until it hit Ter'ran, who quickly stood up after clinging onto Lyle like the strongest glue. "We need you to get the hell out of here" Ter'ran said for he cut open Lyle's robes that had tied him up when everyone was gone for a bit.. "Woah hold up?! I just fucking found you. It took me awhile to even realize its you. So nah. No way I'm leaving. Especially without you" Lyle said cocky but serious, seeing Ter'ran seemed nervous. It made Lyle walk up to him to shake him out of it. "Doesnt it occur you for a second i'm right infront of you" Lyle said for Ter'ran breathed in firmly, wanting to hit him, but at the same time never let go of him anymore.. But then his most important thought of now got into his mind. "Did your boss ever find out about us.." Ter'ran asked seriously, holding Lyle's face for he looked him right in the eyes, feeling the hold of Lyle. "Why do you ask that out of all things?? no why. Who do you think I am, I aint letting that slide like that." Lyle said confident.. For Ter'ran was still thinking.. "is he back.. like you are. With the whole program". Ter'ran kept asking, for Lyle frowned, noticing he got more tense. "Why are you so tight up. Cant we enjoy this for a second.. You've been all thats on my mind.." "And then it takes you a bit to realise its me?-" "Hey I got KIDNAPPED" Lyle said for Ter'ran looked around eventually, letting go of Lyle as he realized Ka'am went into the forest. "Hey whats the actual matter with you?" Lyle asked direct. "I saw Ka'am's glare. Our connection made him frown.. if ka'ams out there and they cross paths they might have a big gathering and i'll know he'll mention it" Ter'ran said, for Lyle frowned. "who says they'll get along. Quaritch stepped back from him actually.. Surprisingly. Which made me take my own decisions. He never got scared or pulled back from things" Lyle said for Ter'ran got silent. "Did you said quaritch..." "Yeah- Did you hear me stutter?" "Shut up" Ter'ran said as his ears folded. "Then they will get along, which means you have to get your ass out of here" Ter'ran said absolutely dead serious, noticing Lyle was rebelling through this.

"What on earth are you talking about?!". Lyle stood serious, glaring at Ter'ran who knew this was going to end rough if the two so happened to meet in person. "That boss of yours doesnt happen to be the same quaritch who so happened to let out a navi years ago" Ter'ran said as Lyle got suspicious now. "How the hell do you know about that" Lyle said for Ter'ran tilted his head in a movement. "guess with our luck who that was." Ter'ran said as Lyle finally got the links. "Fan-fucking-tastic. Of course it had to be like that. But that doesnt mean jack shit. You should know I can stand my own damn ground. If he has some.. 'odd' connection to a navi then so can I." "Arent you understanding this whole problem?! Big chances Ka'am will eventually talk to him, if not your boss would, and if they found out about us by putting the dots together its going to be game over" Ter'ran said worried, knowing if Ka'am would find out the man dated and.. did more with just a human. . He'd be pissed to say the least. especially now that he was shaped the way he was. "So.." Lyle eventually said.. "So?" "Yeah.. So what. Let them find out" "And you think they'll be so easy about it?" "Why are you so worried, I dont know Ter'ran being afraid of things.." Lyle said honest, almost sounding dissapointing. "I'm scared of him at times. Okay. He used to be my best friend, but he shaped himself to be something to be feared.. Try to at least show some compassion for me-" "As much as I like to, and as much as Quaritch can get tired of my shit as well, he wont hurt us.. Maybe he sometimes thinks about it.. but he wont"

"And what if my leader will.. He almost killed you already.. I cannot loose you again.. I can barely believe you're here" Ter'ran said eventually.. Making Lyle sense Ter'ran was afraid of that of all things.. "Your friend would be a sore loser if he'd try to kill the one joy of yours.. Instead of focusing on what can happen, maybe we should focus more on goddamn us. Because man. I missed you so fucking much.." Lyle said in his own ways, for Ter'ran made the eye contact at last, feeling he got hold again by Lyle.. Which made him melt into the man's hands.. Taking his head into his hands, a happy tear flew down his cheek.. Just letting it sink that he indeed was back.. "took you long enough.." Ter'ran eventually said, making Lyle smirk to see the Ter'ran appear that he so desperately loved. "Thats my cowboy."

Meanwhile... Ka'am was going through pandora, in sync with his thanator who could be as silent as the night, trained by Ka'am that way.. It was slowly becoming day again as the majority of time was night.. Which made it almost impossible for most to find Ka'am is he was out in pandora at night. The mix of his nature, along his colors and paint he wore at times made it impossible even for animals to notice him.. but with daylight it was still a big hassle.. But more easy to have luck in finding him. After a long search, Ka'am noticed to see the group of Quaritch out there again, possibly searching for the idiot they had captured.. Making him slide off his thanator, telling it to go around the group, as silent as can be. "Mansk. Zdog, go to your left. And be careful, like we experienced last night, you never know whats in these woods" Quaritch said as he held his own weapon in his hands, telling the others to spread around.. Ka'am tilted his head before getting closer, crawling over the ground like it was the easiest thing. The man had some knives with him hidden, but he had left his bow behind.. Feeling like it wasnt nessesairy. His aura was intimidating enough already... To say the least. quaritch frowned as he looked around, watching his own back as he kept circling to check every corner of his eye.. Ka'am however got closer and closer, slowly raising his body from the ground as within seconds, he appeared like a shadow, close behind Quaritch..

In the exact moment, Quaritch felt a familair but cold chill down his spine, but just as he wanted to turn around, Zdawg yelled "JESUS CHRIST- COLONEL WATCH OUT". As every recom pointed at Ka'am, who didnt move a single muscle or eye, Except Quaritch, the man seemed to recognize the man immediately, but instead of just seeing his eyes, he finally saw the shape, the scent.. Seeing the energy, the glare, from upclose "HOLD YOUR FIRE-" "COLONEL ARE YOU NUTS?!" One of the recoms yelled, as they still held up all their weapons. "I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF" Quaritch didnt really yell, but his volume was up high and extremely dominant. By that.. Hesitantly, the recoms lowered their weapons with dissaproval.. Ka'am's head was slightly tilted at Quaritch, the left side of his face showed more than the side that had some scars.. Only his tail moved slowly, as if he was awaiting what Quaritch would do... Watching very closely.. But Quaritch slowly caught up too.. "No bow.. No visible weaponry. Am I that inviting to you?" Quaritch said low and serious, as he watched him back, seeing no sudden threat to him.. But he could almost sense that Ka'am was no fond of the others.. And as he expected.. as soon as one of the recoms tried to talk to Quaritch, Ka'am's ears folded, and just by that small detail, Quaritch knew it was a life or death situation. "Leave.." Quaritch all the sudden said, making Alexander smirk. "Hell yeah colonel, thats w-" "All of you. Leave" quaritch said in a way he wouldnt repeat himself with, noticing doubts of the group for they didnt expect it was focused on them, but as loyal as they were.. They slowly backed off.. ka'am's glare was still there, staring right at Quaritch as after a while..

He could sense the group had left or at least kept his distance for now. "Colonel.. We're not too far away, just give us any sign.. incase things can happen" The microphone at Quaritch' neck started ongoing, which made Ka'am's ears fold again.. Feeling betrayed for a second for the fact his group was disloyal... hating it. Without much of a second thought, Quaritch pressed onto the button to speak back. "Go back to bridgehead. Thats my final order" He said threatening, clicking the device off for Ka'am kept silent and his eyes on the man that now seemed serious in their interaction, as alone as it could be.. "you gonna stare at me or will you actually talk now that they've left.." Quaritch said as he pushed his own gun to his back.. Standing still as he watched this predator like navi infront of him watch every move.. Quaritch sensed Ka'am waited until the recoms would be far gone.. But Quaritch felt like continuing their conversation after watching the man a little bit more, daring to do so. He felt his mind was surprised but almost struggling to.. see and feel this same level of dominance from both men. He had never met a match like that before, nor realized this man possibly matched him on more front and visa versa.. but it didnt nessesairly intimidate him, it definitely was more of an inside battle.. But Ka'am was experiencing the same despite it didnt seem like it.. Staring directly at Quaritch, he knew for sure.. it was the man he had met before, but how... How on earth was it possible that he was back. He knew the skeleton. The ampsuit.. But through all the silence, not one of the two had stepped closer.

"Any reason you decided to surprise me" Quaritch said low, seeing Ka'am look up and down at Quaritch, listening close to his voice. ".. I remember you. You might've not said a word back then, nor did we say anything to each other, but you've heard everyone around you, knowing exactly what they said. I know you know english" Quaritch said eventually, knowing 100% it were the same eyes he met 16 years ago. "that is, if i'm willing to speak it" Ka'am finally said, in english, as he tilted his head more the other side, which revealed the scars on his right side better.. Now slowly moving a little bit, but Quaritch kept standing where he was, looking at Ka'am.. He still felt that rather strong chill down his spine, but oddly enough he could tell despite the danger this man's aura showed.. that he would be in no danger right now, unless he'd make a wrong move. Watching Ka'am slowly come closer with a threatening look.. Quaritch got a better and closer look at what the man had become.. Without much of a warning, Ka'am walked around Quaritch slowly.. Taking his tail in his hands for a bit.. Go along his rather muscular arms like a direct inspection. Before taking a sharp bone from his hair to poke Quaritch, who glared in a rather warning way... but seeing the man take it to taste him.. Made him silent. He had heard from Jake, the mother of the clan had done it to him before.. as he immediately could sense it was a test to see if he maybe was... pure? he noticed a slight twitch in the man's ears of having tasted his blood.. For Ka'am got curious.

For quaritch couldnt know.. Ka'am's mom was a Tsahik, and from her he had specific things learned that for most were almost uncanny. But it were things he did in order to be the man he was now.. It was sinister, but powerful. Meanwhile as Ka'am stood so close, the mix of his own scent in combination of the things he at times smoked.. Made Quaritch silent to analyze it. He had never smelled anything like it.. The whole navi man infront of him was something he had never seen.. And therefor took different steps than usual.

For Ka'am tried to puzzle out what exactly the man infront of him was, his scent was unlike anything he'd smelled.. his blood tasted young.. It was like a real navi, but something powerful was in the mix, it might've explained why the man at a younger age was so well trained.. For he didnt.. seem to be 20 in their age with the way he handled and mentally communicated. But his body as well, seemed to be more than what most could achieve. Some developed things that only showed there had to be a reason why he was what he was. "Who are you." Ka'am said direct, standing inches away from Quaritch who looked right back at him. "I know you remember me." Quaritch said almost confident but he was careful in his own dominant way. "You have changed" Ka'am said right afterwards, glaring as it didnt make sense yet. "So have you" Quaritch said almost cocky but serious, before Ka'am took the man's wrist rather direct, which made Quaritch a bit more forward in behavior by grabbing the other arm that Ka'am had. glaring as he was about to hit him somehow, though he watched Ka'am's behavior closely.. Seeing how Ka'am felt the man's heartbeat in the wrist, which was surprisingly a little high.. But secure, steady... And very strong.. Sensing he wasnt an avatar, he could just tell from that.

It made Ka'am's expression from dangerous to wandering. He watched the man's wrist before turning to him.. Glaring, but wanting to know.. "How can you be navi. you died". Quaritch watched the man, pulling his wrist back for he wasnt sure what to say as he hissed while pulling his own wrist back. How did the man figure it out. He could just sense ka'am wanted to know. The voice that came from the navi was for some reason peeking his interest more than he expected. Despite he had met ka'am before.. he had never heard his voice yet, and it was only getting worse from here. ""It seems we might've started on the wrong foot. I know you had the intention to kill me, perhaps I always have done the same to your kind. We can do it differently, but not just for nothing" Quaritch said as Ka'am stepped back just a little, trying to figure what Quaritch was.. His curiosity hadnt been this bad in ages, which made him handle differently. "I have a feeling.. You have one of ours." Quaritch said trickily.. Seeing Ka'am looked up and down at him again.. Actually for once answering Quaritch. "We have him.. But he seems to have a very close bond with one of mine.." Ka'am started to say, making Quaritch now slowly dare to approach the dangerous navi for he tilted his head at what he heard.. "As if they met before. My question is.. How" Ka'am said as his ears twitched as he felt bothered.. But surprisingly, it seemed Quaritch was too. But as he heard Quaritch come closer.. The man breathed out.

"just like you." Ka'am ended up saying, looking directly at Quaritch.. But his glance had changed, there was a mere curiosity but it was almost as if he personally had to punish himself for becoming more eager to know this man.. Figure him out. Wanting to know, due reasons he couldnt explain himself yet. The colonel noticed the change in sight.. Making him curious himself, also to what he just heard and decide to make use of it.. also so he could have a more steady, closer look on the navi... "How are you possible... What are you" Ka'am eventually said, glaring at Quaritch who eventually stood close.

"You really want to know.. I can tell you.. But only if you bring him back.. After we both found out how they got to know one another" Quaritch decided to go for a daring decision.. knowing he took the risk to follow this navi into the deep forest, on his own without backup.. but something told him this dominant leader, like himself.. Was peeked in someway, making it a safe bet for now, as his own curiosity was pulling at him unlike anything else.. All he received was a glare from Ka'am.. "I dont do deals.." He said angry.. Making Quaritch look with a tilted head. "Then I suppose you will not hear more of me or my kind" He said trickily, seeing the man hissed as Quaritch almost felt the need to hiss back. They both wanted something... and not just for nothing, as their dominant behavior was fighting to have met their own reflection.. Quaritch recognized this one detail precisely. He was a man that normally would never delve into making deals either.. It was almost uncanny of how alike they were.. For Quaritch never expected to meet someone.. So much on his level, especially Ka'am was struggling with it. He was SO curious about everything, yet felt like it was a curse.. But as the two kept glaring at each other.. Ka'am hissed lightly before turning away from the man, calling his thanator.. which made Quaritch realize the man's curiosity about him, decide on going in on the deal... Making him smirk once before watching every move the navi made.. as so did Ka'am.. It was going to be quite the journey with the two, starting now.

TO BE CONTINUED

[kittysyrup]

mole game 2

today is febrary fifth

rewriting this because the discard button really seemed intriguing to me like 10 minutes ago i dont know what came over me. I had gotten like so much more then i thought i would yesterday. you actually get super powers in learning when ur actively putting off a college paper.

I be recording bits and pieces of the process of putting it all together idk how much i want to describe in detail, it really takes alot of time to say it all.

I did finally open up that unity program and make a cube, hard part was makin it move

I decided i was gonna use the new unity input system module thing, idk shiny new thing obviously better, no way it isnt, then it like wouldnt be new and i wouldnt be using it.

funny thing is that i spent 30 minutes tryna optimize code and shit because i thought i messed up and was laggin my game, but the like context menu for the player input module just straight up lags the game look at this

i was usin the character controller module to setup the movement and i was tryna use the SimpleMove() function, which should've just taken raw inputs and added gravity, which should've been fine for my game since i don't need a jump and the character wouldn't need to be affected by physics. However it seems like that function is kinda awful, like it doesn't seem to work with Time.deltaTime or have a built in clock, so its all studdery and gets faster when at lower framerates, which i was able to test with my trusty player input context menu lol

yeah but then i just kinda rewrote it in the Move() function and manually just did the funny "+ Physics.gravity" and it just kinda works

void Update(){

characterController.Move((moveVector * moveSpeed + Physics.gravity) * Time.deltaTime);

}

public void Move(InputAction.CallbackContext moveAmount){

vectorBeforeTranslation = moveAmount.ReadValue<Vector2>();

moveVector.Set(vectorBeforeTranslation.x, 0, vectorBeforeTranslation.y);

}

so yeah this is all u need for a character controller folks i hope this helped and i hope someone bullies me for this at some point moveVector is a Vector3 and vectorBeforeTranslation is a Vector2 declared empty earlier in the class.

Now then was to make the character rotate, idk i kinda did it but not really but like hey look holy shit the cube is moving

i like couldnt figure out how make a transition so that the rotation looked clean so i kinda threw out that code

so i guess i just decided that i would work on making the character face my mouse, this was a travesty

a mixture of deciphering how to grab the mouse position from the input system garbage and deciphering how to convert it into real coordinates in the actual game

its like difficult finding any material for understanding quaternions on like a programming or unity level, like i dont actually need to know quaternions just show me where to plug the variables, it seems like the internet is deadset on giving me alternatives so that i never have to touch it so i ended up using the LookAt() function and inserted the mouse position which like semi worked

it made it look towards the ground which was goofy, but also i fixed this by just pretending like the y axis of the mouse position was the same as the character :^)

thats about all i achieved, i spent a long time tryna make a sort of transition for the rotation of the character for like some game feel or something, but idk i can do that later.

i think the next big thing is to work on terrain and how its gonna be destroyed, im lookin into like how to variably change like the vertices and stuff on a mesh, not looking to win any rewards, just dont wanna end up using blocks or somethin stupid for the rocks and shit.

I also gotta research alot into shaders for how i want the insides of the tunnels you would be creating would be.

seems like this would be the stage that would cause burnout since I'm not really sure where to go on from here but i guess ill just learn more about the engine and come back at another day.

one thing to note is that I tried to make my code like modular so i can use them again at a later date, thats probably a fairly good idea, always thought it was weird how much people online tell you to split up ur code and nonsense but dont tell you how they personally do it or like explain how ur supposed to come up with your own system on ur own projects.

hoping seeing so many nonsense libraries and doin so much damn math in my head doesn't rob me of my personality

[foosybit]

Ok im probably not the best person to ask this because ive been using krita for YEARSSS. like. last time I used firealpaca was 2018 which is... 6 years ago TT_TT but i did a brief pass-over of what firealpaca looks like now and it seems like the things i personally didn't like about it from 2018 are still present. and also the only computer drawing programs ive used are firealpaca, krita, and a really old pirated version of paint tool sai that was so bad it didn't even have a circle tool. absolutely abysmal for my eddsworld phase. but ya i do really like krita a lot tho. explanation under cut cuz its long

First one's pretty minor, but firealpaca does give you a popup immediately lol. i know it's easy to get used to, but its one of those small things where i'd rather not be asked to buy something or update my fully updated software every time i open the program. Firealpaca also just opens you up to the drawing ui, and krita opens you up to a specific launch ui that i really like

it shows all your recently opened files with a thumbnail too so you don't really have to go rummaging through your files every time you wanna draw which is super convenient. and as you can see i literally just never enabled news LOL which would probably tell me about any new krita updates idfk i never enabled it.

Another one that's more major to me is that the firealpaca animation system is actually ass omfg. they say like "wowww you can do onion skin !!!" but thats literally it. and i like to animate from time to time so that's a no-go for me. firealpacas animation system is manged through YOUR LAYERS???? AND MAYBE A FOLDER???? jail. awful. and you have to wait for firealpaca to render a preview. if you ever decide to animate, krita is way better. it actually has a proper timeline and hold frames and real-time previews. it might not be the super best professional animation software cuz it does fight with me a little bit, but for someone who just makes small gifs every once in a while, it's wayyy more useful than firealpaca without being overwhelming which i like. heres what the animation workspace looks like:

the final real qualm i remember having is that the blending on firealpaca was just..... not great. I downloaded it again breifly to check how it's looking and it's still not looking too hot. For the examples I just used my mouse with no pressure sensitivity mostly because i was too lazy to set up my drawing tablet, but also it shows what one consistent opacity/pressure sensitivity looks like

the transparent bg one is firealpaca and the tan bg one is krita. it seems like the difference in opacity of the brush doesn't affect the blending strength of the brush at all in firealpaca. 1 and 2 are the flat watercolor brush and the blending on that one just looks ugly 2 me sorry. 1 is at 50% opacity and 2 is at 100%. 3 is the fluffy watercolor brush at 50% opacity and 4 is the same brush at 100% opacity. it blends to the same amount regardless of opacity, so it seems like the same brush calculations are happening, just literally at a lower opacity. For the krita one, i used the wet paint brush and 5 is 100% opacity and 6 is 50% opacity. It gives you a lot of variety and control for the amount of blending you want based on pressure sensitivity which is super handy to me; i would not have been able to do those crazy digital paintings i used to do years ago without it (pre-mysn days cuz my style has since changed, but u can find it in my pixiv).

Also idk if im stupid or what but i can't find any method to change the blending mode of your brush in firealpaca. it's a neat feature that lets you just do a few brushstrokes with a multiply blending mode (or whatever blending mode) without having to make a new layer and merge it.

But yeah I'm sure firealpaca has its pros. I saw a bunch of cool pattern brushes on their site which seem like they'd be super cool to use, it's just that for my personal tastes i remember thinking that moving to krita was a huge improvement. the only thing that takes a bit of getting used to is that krita doesn't have a clipping function, you just have to alpha-lock a layer within a folder, but you get used to it (theres a "create clipping group" option that does this for you).

Bonus for if u ever get krita:

this is my favorite drawing brush in the entire world i can't draw without it. just a basic toothy brush but it's my life blood. and you should totally download the ballpoint pen brush. just search up krita ballpoint pen brush. its not like i use it all the time or anything but it's super fun and i like it and if u use krita i think u should mess around with it at least once X3

[i-cant-sing]

Hey I have a yandere erasermic obsession. I don’t know if you do angst but what if they were punishing reader and she gets really exhausted and passes out. They think they killed her, I know this is dumb and you don’t have to do it if it makes you uncomfortable-🍓 anon

Yandere Erasermic punishing reader

I've missed these two a lot😭

Anyways, enjoy! Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Erasermic:

"Hey! I'm home! How are my darlings- Shou? You okay?" Hizashi asked as he entered his home. He was looking forward to spending time with you and the hero, but judging by the pissed off look on Aizawa's face, it didn't seem like happening.

Aizawa was taking deep breaths, his eyebrows furrowed and face contorted into a scowl. God, what did you do now? Hizashi couldn't help but wonder that, as he slid onto the couch next to his husband.

"What did she do now?"Hizashi asked, resting his head on Aizawa's chest as his arms wrapped around him.

Aizawa closed his eyes in annoyance, his own arms engulfing Hizashi as he let out a huff. "She's so ungrateful."

Hizashi lightly chuckled at that, waiting for him to continue. "You know what she did today? She tried to escape. Again. I don't know how she got the code to unlock the main door, but she opened it. She barely made it 2 steps out the door before I pulled her back in. I was taking a shower and she thought she could make a run for it. " Aizawa runs a hand through his hair, but Hizashi suddenly caught it. He looked at his husband's hand, it was turning a nasty shade of purple, and was red around the knuckles, slightly swelled. "Shou, babe... what happened to your hand?"

Aizawa exhales deeply, closing his eyes, trying to control his anger. "Our sweet little darling happened. After I got her back in, I told her to apologise. You know what she did? She spit at me, screamed all kinds of profanities. When I took her down to the basement to chain her up, she tried attacking me." Aizawa clenched his jaw. "I was only going to leave her there for the night. But what she said to me next... Hizashi, I lost it. I punched her." Hizashi's eyes widened. He knew Aizawa wasn't one to lose his temper easily, he knew he wasn't one to resort to violence immediately. So the blonde could only wonder what in the hell did you say to him. "Shouta... what did she say?" He asked softly, almost afraid of the answer himself.

Shouta looked at his husband, trying to calm himself when he told him what you barked out. "She said...she said that she wondered how UA let... let creeps like us around kids." Hizashi's eyes widened. If there's one thing he knew about Aizawa, it was how deeply he cared about his students, treating them like his own children. He prided himself in being their teacher, and so the nerve of you to even say something so disgusting like that, Aizawa was bound to snap.

"I cant believe she'd say something...so horrible. I'm so sorry, Shou." Hizashi whispered, nuzzling Aizawa's neck. The pro hero only grunted. "Whatever. I think it'd be good if she stays down there... for 2 weeks. Yeah that'd be good. And no dinner tonight either. I don't want to put up with anymore of her bullshit." Hizashi only nodded, but then caught another look at his hand and he stood up, pulling Aizawa along with him to the kitchen. Hizashi pulled out a bag of frozen peas and started applying it on his bruise hand to reduce the swelling.

As the two ate dinner, Hizashi couldn't help but worry that if Shouta's hand looked like this from the punch, then what did the receiving end look like. He chose to remain quiet on that matter, not wanting you to ruin the night anymore.

The next morning when Aizawa woke up, he went downstairs to the kitchen to find his husband. Hizashi who was almost done plating up, greeted Aizawa with a kiss. "So, should I take this plate down to our baby bird?" Hizashi asked, already knowing Aizawa didn't want to see you yet. You had really hurt him. Shouta nodded as he took a sip of his coffee. "Be right back." Hizashi pressed a kiss to his lips before going to the basement.

Hizashi opened the door to the basement, walking down the stairs, hoping to see you greet him like the angel they know you are deep down. But when he got down there, he saw you were still asleep on the floor, your limbs still bound to the chains. Your face was turned away from him and Hizashi wasnt sure if he wanted to see the damage that was done to your face.

Hizashi just called for you. “Love, I’ve brought breakfast! Eggs and hashbrowns! Your favourite!” When you didnt respond, he just sighed before placing the plate on the floor. Your chains were long enough to for you to reach it, and while Hizashi wished nothing more than to feed you himself, he knew you needed to be punished.

As he went up the stairs and out of the basement, he couldnt help but feel a sense of dread creeping up on him.

“Do you think she’ll be sorry after her punishment?”Hizashi asked his partner.  Aizawa rolled his eyes. “Unlikely. But she’ll learn to think twice before she says stupid shit like that.” Hizashi chuckled, but secretly hoped that would be the case. He got up from the couch where he and Aizawa sat. “I’ll go get her plate.” They were done eating 2 hours ago, but still waited for you to finish up because they know how stubborn you are.

When Hizashi walked down the stairs, he wasn’t surprised to find your plate untouched. You would always do that the first few days, before finally succumbing to your hunger. Pointless, really. But what disturbed him was how you were still in the same position he had seen you in 2 hours ago. And it was coming to him how still you looked, he couldn't see your body moving a single muscle, he couldn't see if you were breathing. 

Hizashi walked towards you cautiously, waiting for you to jump up and scare the crap out of him. But his breath hitched when he finally saw what had happened to you. 

A big bruise had formed on your cheek, swelling and taking all the shades of the purple, blue and green. But the worst part was seeing the blood and a clear liquid dripping out of your nose slowly, forming a pool around your head.

He turned you on to your back and started shaking your shoulder. “Darling? Wake up, baby. Its me. Baby, wake up.” But your body remained unconscious. He started tapping your cheek, only then noticing you weren’t breathing. All the alarms went off in his head. “SHOUTA! COME DOWN OVER HERE!” 

Shouta rushed to the basement, wondering what stunt you pulled now. But seeing your limp body in Hizashi’s arms, blood coating your cheeks, he knew something terrible had occured. Aizawa ran towards his partners, looking at your bruising cheek. “She’s n-not breathing. She’s not fucking breathing, Shou!” Hizashi sobbed as Aizawa took your wrist in his hand. His blood ran cold when he found no pulse. “What are we gonna do?! She’s dead! Our baby is dead!” Shouta blocked out Hizashi’s voice. They both cant be panicking right now. Aizawa turned to his partner. “Hizashi. Bring her up. I’ll get the car out.” He commanded. “H-hospital? Shou, its too late-” Hizashi cried out but Aizawa gave him a stern look. “Bring her up. Now.” 

They got to the hospital in fairly record time, passing you over to the doctors while Aizawa made up a story of how they found you in an alley. Only after the doctors left them alone did it dawn on Aizawa how serious the situation was. He killed you, didnt he? You would still be alive if he hadnt hit you. How could he ever claim to love you when he hurts you-

Aizawa shook his head, he could wallow up in his guilt later. For now, he needed to comfort his husband and pray that you make it through somehow.

A few hours later, the doctors had given them an update on your condition. You made it, barely. Something had hit your face and damaged some part of your brain, causing there to be a very slow heart beat. But you're all okay now, since they brought you in time.

When they were allowed to finally go in, thats when Aizawa finally broke down. Seeing you unconscious, knowing he almost killed you, it got to him. Hizashi wanted to console Aizawa, but he couldn't bring himself to leave your side. Hizashi pressed soft kisses to your temples, wiping his tears that fell on your cheek, while Aizawa stood to your side. He wanted to hold your hand but he was afraid to hurt you again. As the duo sat by your side, they made a silent promise to never hurt you again, at least not physically.

After that incident, you'll never be left alone. The two are always breathing down your neck, drowning you in love, looking at you with even more fondness; obsession and protectiveness swirling in their eyes, right there with guilt.

Aizawa would never apologise, but that doesn't mean he's not sorry. You would often wake up to him looking at your bruised cheek with worry, caressing it so gently, as if he'd break you. He'll be a lot more demanding with physical affection, always wrapping his arms around you, forcing you onto his lap and tucking your face under his chin as he cards his fingers through your hair.

You didn't think Hizashi could be anymore overbearing, but you were proved wrong. He'd panic if you were out of his sight for more than 5 minutes. Always worrying, paranoia creeping up on him when you're not in the same room as him. And when he would finally find you (mostly in the bathroom), he'd check you all over for injuries, not trusting your assurances.

Punishments aren't violent anymore. They're humiliating. Pulling you in their laps and feeding you by hand, talking about you as if you're not there, making you take baths with them(not showers because they end too quickly), making you sleep with them, naked.

And the couple won't lie, but this form of punishment seems to be far more effective. With how quickly you turn docile, folding in on yourself as if you could hide from them... its cute.

But hey, its better than getting beat, right?

[aliciaandandrea]

Family Friend - Zayn Oneshot Part 2 (FULL)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Damn okay it has been 7 years since I posted the part 2 preview of this oneshot. I haven’t been active on tumblr for a couple of years so this might be weird for my new followers, and I don’t even know if people still read smut now a days. But I’ve gotten notifications about people liking the posts on this series plus I received messages about the full part 2 of this series over the years. So to those people who messaged me and/or for those people who wanted an update, this is for you (just a disclaimer: I was 18 when I wrote the preview and am now 25...so if this is cringy or you think I’ve lost my touch, I apologize LOL):

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It has been a week since the cottage and I haven’t heard from Zayn since. I should have saw it coming. We almost hooked up, but I’m glad we didn’t, especially with that attitude of his. I was going through my phone and I decided to text Shawn, who’s been my crush before Zayn entered back into the picture.

“Heyy Shawn…” I texted him. “Hey Y/N :) Whats up?” he texted back. “Bored as always, you?” I asked “Same, I feel like we haven’t hung out at all this summer :(” he wrote. “lol thats because we haven’t” I texted. “Well let me make it up to you. My friend and his gf are goin to the movies tonight and asked if I wanted to go…I don’t wanna be the third wheel…do you wanna join?”he texted me. Did this guy just ask me out? “I’d love to :), just text me the details.” I texted back. And he did just that. I put on my low cut grey graphic tank with a black bralette under it and my black maxi skirt, while putting my hair up in a half up-do and keeping my makeup natural.

Before I could touch up my doorbell rang. I opened the door thinking it was Shawn but then stormed inside Zayn with no explanation. “What do you want?” I said bitterly as I closed the door after he walked inside. “You can’t fucking call me back?” he said looking at me. “What the hell are you talking about Zayn” I said walking up to him. “What do you call this?” he said tossing me his phone. On the screen was his call log, He’s called me once every day, except..that wasn’t my number. It was a fake one I gave as a joke when he asked for it one day. “Zayn that's not my number,” I said giving back his phone. “What the fuck is your problem then? You know I have fucking feelings for you !” He said fed up. I didn't know what to say. He just told me he had feelings for me. “Zayn..I..” I said trying to hold his hand but he pulled it away and turned away from me. “Fine. You wanna behave like that go ahead. And don't fucking tell me that I’m playing you. You’ve been teasing me ever since you found out that I liked you and then you almost hookup with me leaving me with a hickey that was hard to explain at dinner with mine and your parents and then you don't even fucking talk or try to reach out to me in a week. Don’t you even go there.” I said angrily. At this point we were both pissed. We managed to both profess our feelings and hatred towards each other…all at the same time. We were going to either end up fucking on my couch or wrestle on it. “Did you not see the phone calls that I supposedly made out to you. And why the fuck have I been hearing from people that you’ve been sleeping around with other guys?” “What the fuck Zayn? You hear anything you want to believe don't you. This entire time I’ve been thinking of you, you idiot.” I said as he chuckled. He composed himself then stared at me, “Where the fuck are you going?” “To the movies..with Shawn.” I said looking down. “And this is what I’m talking about, you’re going out with a loser and trying to get laid with that outfit.” he said as his body tensed up, looking up and down at me. At that point I was pissed, but I was not going to let that jerk ruin my night. We both stared at each other angrily. My ringtone broke the silence, Shawn was calling me. “Hey Shawn,” I said out loud for Zayn to here as I glared at him. He shot me an irritated look. “Yeah I’ll be there soon, can’t wait to finally see you,” I flirted with Shawn making Zayn jealous. “Yeah its been a long time,” I said as I ‘accidentally’ put my phone on speaker so Zayn could hear. “Maybe you could stay over for breakfast,” Shawn joked but that's when Zayn snapped. He grabbed my phone, hung it up and threw it onto the couch. He looked at me with a lustful look as I furrowed my eyebrows at him, but was secretly loving the fact that he was jealous. Jealous Zayn was probably my favorite Zayn. “That’s it,” he growled at me as he threw me over his shoulder. “Zayn put me down!! What the fuck are you doing??” I said playing victim, even though I knew what he was going to do. “Something I should have done a long time ago.” Zayn said as he kicked the door shut and threw me onto my bed. “I don’t know what you think you’re about to do right now, but I’ve got a date to get to tonight” I said eyeing him as he climbed on top of me. “Yeah?”. Zayn asked as he bit my bottom lip causing me to let out a little whimper, “What was his name again?”, Zayn asked as he was kissing my jawline and biting the sensitive area. I blanked out for a good few seconds, wanting to wrap my legs around him and pull him closer, but I couldn’t let him win this one. “Ohh yess Shawn..” I moaned to irritate Zayn while pulling his hair. He stared me down but before we could continue, the doorbell rang. “Fuck”, Zayn said as he got off me. Zayn got to the door before I could and of course there was Shawn looking confused as to why there was a man at my house with disheveled hair.

“Hey Y/N..” Shawn said to me, as Zayn stared daggers. “Can we help you?” Zayn asked, "We’re in the middle of something important, so it’d be great if you can, I don’t know, fuck off?” he continued with a smirk. “Sorry, Shawn, I’m ready we can go,” I said to him before turning back to get my bag. “I don’t know where you think you’re going,” Zayn said looking at me before turning back to Shawn. “You know what, maybe we can go out another time, I didn’t realize - ...” Shawn started to say before getting rudely interrupted by Zayn who said “Didn’t realize what? That she already had a boyfriend? Fuck off now will you.” Zayn shuts the door on Shawn, and blocks me from trying to open it.

“What the fuck are you doing Zayn?” I asked trying to move him to open the door. He gently grabs my wrists and looked into my eyes, “We need to finish what we started”, he says hungrily. I manage to free my wrists, push Zayn against the door, then proceed to walk away from him, “In your dreams“ I say flipping him off from behind me. Before I know it Zayn has picked me up bridal style and is taking me back to my bed. We’ve reached a point where we both want this to happen, as deep down we knew something had to be done with the intense sexual tension between us. I was torn between wanting to fuck like wild animals vs wanting to make slow and passionate love, to take our time and explore each other with the limited time frame we had. As if he read my mind, “Slow or rough?” Zayn asks as we arrive at the foot of the bed.

“Both”, I said as Zayn dropped me on top of the bed for the 2nd time tonight. He stood over me, slowly taking off his Denim Jacket, leaving him in his baggy grey t-shirt and black jeans. I looked at him impatiently, wanting to help him get out of his clothes, but he just smirked at me and said “Well, you said both”. Fine, he can take his time, but I’m not gonna wait any longer as I knew my parents were coming back home from their night out. I knelt on the bed in-front of him taking off my low cut grey graphic tank revealing the lacy black bralette under it, then pushed my girls into him aching for him to touch me. But he just stood there staring into my eyes, as he took off his baggy grey t-shirt. “What is he doing”, I thought to myself, “What are WE doing, playing follow the leader?”. It was getting too much for me, I needed him. I grabbed his face but decided to tease him by gently having our lips barely touch. “We don’t have much time, my parents might come home soon”, I whispered against his lips, desperate for him to give in. “What?” he said pulling back a little. “My parents might be home soon, plus -” Zayn stops me from continuing. “I want to take my time with you. And I know you need all of me. If we’re going to this, I don’t want a few minutes with you, I want you for as long as I can have you.” Zayn says holding my face. Look I know I could have shut my mouth and not brought up the fact that my parents were going to come home soon, but I couldn’t risk having them walk in on us like they almost had when we were at the cottage.

We both redressed and I walked Zayn to the door, as I needed Zayn to leave before my parents got back. “Can I have your actual number this time?” Zayn said as he pulled out his phone. I giggled and put my real number with a kiss and rose emoji as part of my contact name. “I’ll text you,” Zayn says before he opens the door. “Wait,” I said. Before I knew it I pushed him against the door again but this time I kissed him. We began making out, taking turns biting each others lips and teasing each other with our tongues. We tried to pull each other closer; I pulled on his hair as he groped me making me moan and whimper. We couldn’t get enough of each other, as we got lost in our little foreplay. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar honk, and a set of keys jiggling on the other side of the door. Fucking hell, my parents were home...

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LIKE/MESSAGE ME FOR PART 3 IF YOU WANT !

Link to part 1: http://aliciaandandrea.tumblr.com/post/92086930206/family-friend-zayn-oneshot

[motianz]

Hi, hello, so i finnaly finished it. Here’s what i think He Tians apartment looks like. Do keep in mind that I kinda suck at this lol, and if you want to see another version of this @1154lizz​ just made a very nice post about it

Also OX most likely changed his apartment through the years, so this is a loose interpretation, based on what we saw until now. 

Im also assuming there’s only one floor, because we haven’t seen any type of stairs or anything like it.

I’ll put my process under the cut because its really long (OX really didnt make it easy to figure it out) plus the update numbers if anyone wants to try to do this themselves. (Also, english isn’t my first language, so if you find any mistakes just ignore it)

First theres his bed, with a sofa and some kind of half roof above it, (now if his apartment has 2 floors I think its in there)

then we get the other side, right in front of his bed we can see that that square part has no doors or opennings to it, so it’s probably where his apartment ends, (or the door is further down)

Plus it looks like there really is another floor (that I chose to ignore lol)

This godanm kithchen was hell to figure out, first time we see it it looks to be close to the window (that are in the front and side of he tians bed)

Here the boys are getting into the apartment to go to the kitchen, so the door has to be somewhere between He Tians bed and that square wall. And the kitchen has got to be somewhere in the direction they’re heading into (besides the bed)

They play in the bed, and since Mo’s got food in his hands it’s safe to assume the kitchen is nearby 

we get a nice view of it in here (and it’s straight up completely different from the first time we saw it) Zhan says he1s going to the bathroom, so it’s got to be in that direction. I think the corridor to the bathroom starts there, and there also seems to be a room beside it

then we see this table with the blue chairs for the first time, plus the random shelves around it

from there they go directely to that living room, so im assuming they didn’t change floors just to get to it (But if there is a second floor it’s likely in there). It also looks like it’s  in front of windows (but it can also be he tians walls, since they have those beams)

We see more book shelve behind the couch, and the table (before Vertical, now horizontal) under jian yi’s feet, shows us the change in the POV

Idk whats up in there, but to me it looks like a reflection, so, mirror (also it looks like a knife holder??? so maybe he tian just has several kitchens)

Finally we confirm the couch and table besides his bed (also how far away it is from the wall)

The space in front of the door is very wide and empty

VERY wide and empty, and since Mo seems to be coming from the kitchen, it also confirms that its close to the door and on its left. (plus another set of table and chairs idk how many of these this boy has)

Blue chairs make a comeback, they look to be close to the bed, and on the right of it

Complete view of the couch and table besides the bed. Plus the kitchen (once again completely changed) 

And again, it looks to be close to the windows, and idk how many windows this dude has, if there is 2 floors theres also 2 kitchens lol

Bathroom seems to be in the end of a corridor, (2 walls surrounding it) (plus that counter) 

Since they got there from the bathroom (to get Mos stuff), the bathroom is in that direction, and we get a wide view of the couch and bed

Also the corridor to the bathroom somehow points to the windows too?? Yeah this one i don’t really know how to fit in

There we see the outside of his apartment, and by judging the size (and the bend of the windows, being beside AND in front of the bed) It’s one of those big ones. 

See how the other side of the building bends and gets another smaller set of windows? Yeah thats how I think the windows in front of the bed are. Also by the sheer amount of windows in his apartment I think that smaller set on the right is part of it too.

And that’s it! We’ll only get a definitive answer when OX posts it of course, but for now this is how I see his apartment, its messy but I hope some of you liked it (if you even got to here lol, ik its long)

The chapters are: 130,144, 186, 187, 228, 234, 237, 305 and 306

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Heatwave x female s/o?

Funny enough it's a certain someone's birthday today! Let's give a bitch one of her faves ;)

(Warning; SUPER long)

"Kade, hurry it up."

"Don't rush me, I'm almost done!"

Kade huffed. They had agreed that once a week, Kade was supposed to wash his alt mode. He had an especially muddy rescue today, Heatwave was always huffy after a mess, but today, he was especially finicky. It was why Kade was sitting there, buffing in the fresh coat of wax that Heatwave demanded he have on. He pulled away, and after seeing it was done, lightly patted his hood.

"Alright pretty boy, you're done. Imma go and eat a sandwich."

"Didn't we stop at a drive thru before we got here?"

"You whining makes me hungry."

Heatwave scoffed. He waited until Kade got into the house, before he helped himself out of the driveway, and pulling into the road. Just had to do one thing first, in case they came looking for him.

"Chase, you copy?"

"Yes, Heatwave, I copy."

"Good. I'm handling your patrol shift."

"But Kade isn't-"

"No one knows that. Look, I just need to let out some steam, Chase. You know how Kade is."

"...understandable. Keep me updated."

"Will do."

He hung up the call, sighing in relief. Good, they bought it. He made a left towards the beach, before he came to a halt, just before he made it to the parking lot. There she was. The reason why he wanted to look like a goddamn sports car today.

Brown hair that fell to her shoulders, fair skin, jewelry that dangled, and she was as glittery and stunning as a fallen star. He pulled up right in front of her, giving her just a small honk to get her attention. Her eyes lit up right when she saw him.

"Hey! I was just about to text you!"

He pulled down the window, giving the illusion that she was talking to someone inside.

"Sorry. Had to keep the hood looking nice for you. Like what you did with your hair."

She had gotten bored waiting for him, and had stuffed her hair full of little flowers. Alongside the glitter- this girl was far from boring.

"Thank you! I got you one too. Assuming you're gonna let me in?"

"Course, scoot into the driver's seat."

He opened his door, letting her hop into the driver's seat. She placed a little flower on the dashboard, before she buckled herself in.

"Sooo I take it this is the tour you promised me?"

She was from off island, so she was a little lost around here. He pulled out of the lot, and went back onto the road.

"Yeah, I'll show you around. You still got a week on the island, right?"

"Yep! I'm liking the sights so far. And the locals are definitely nice, and not just on the eyes."

Based on the way she strummed her fingers across his dashboard, she wasn't talking about the humans. He turned to the left, trying to remember to put on his blinker as he did so. She was, something.

"Well, we try to have some hospitality. Especially for tourists who just run into any ol' vehicle."

She huffed, arms folded across her chest.

"The door was open, and I've always wanted to see the inside of a fire truck."

Heatwave chuckled. What a story that was.

"Kade! Close the-and he's gone."

Heatwave groaned. Whenever he saw Hailey, that idiot always forgot the rules of the ride; shut the door when you get out. It was like coming into a closed room, and leaving without shutting it. Just plain annoying. He was about to shut the door, when there was a sudden weight in his driver's seat. He adjusted his rear view mirror. A girl. Tourist, given that he'd never seen her before.

"Cool! A real firetruck! I've always wanted to see one on the inside!"

Not a carjacker, thankfully. Just someone who was curious. He turned on his screen on the inside, and put on his best robot voice.

"Step away, citizen, this is official-"

He stopped once she tapped the screen, right at his nose. She looked fascinated by him, as if this is the first time she'd ever see technology.

"Woah! They have a computer in this thing- that's new! I'll only sit here, just for a second! I've been waiting for a friend."

She sat down in his seat, facing the outside and starting to mess with her phone. He was about to lay on the horn, when she sighed under her breath.

"Come on...I've been waiting two hours, guys."

She got ditched. He wasn't nuts about someone who literally just helped herself to his interior, but Heatwave wasn't sparkless. Not seeing Kade in the distance, he sighed.

"Input address."

"Hmm?"

She looked at the map he put on the screen. She hesitated for a second, biting her lip in thought.

"Uhm...I dunno where it is exactly. Its the uh, the hotels nearby, I think?"

Heatwave knew what she meant. He put the address on the screen, and turned on the light that signaled for a seatbelt. She looked around, as if she was doing something bad, before she grinned, and (finally) shutting his door, then put on her seatbelt. He tried to be quick about this (Kade was SUCH a whiner if he couldn't find Heatwave in the same spot he left him at), despite the fact that traffic was fairly heavy.

"That's so cool, you can drive yourself! Oh you are SO cool! I wonder where's the sirens on this thing?"

Heatwave shouldn't. Those were for emergencies. But traffic wasn't letting up, Kade would call and nag at him for leaving, and...well. She looked like she could use a pick me up. He let the button flash for her, and right when she pressed it, the sirens started to blare. She jumped in the seat, giddy as a sparkling.

"Oh thats so cool!"

Heatwave WAS pretty cool, when he really thought about it. She geeked out well until they reached the empty looking parking lot, then he put it in park.

"Please unfasten your seatbelts, and exit the- ow, the scrap is that?"

She stared at the face on the screen as she started to get out.

"What's...what?"

"There's something on the seats, it's...ITCHY."

She looked around at her seat. Glitter. She gave an embarrassed smile, before shrugging.

"I'm sorry, I got glitter on you. It's kinda my signature thing- wait. Is that...pre-recorded?"

Oh no. He tried to focus on the voice, rather than the itchiness.

"It's nothing to be concerned about-"

He sighed in relief when she dug her hand into his seat, easing that itch. She pulled away quickly, and he knew that face of shock.

"Oh my god. You're not...just a robot. Oh my GOD-"

"Shhhh!"

He pulled his shades back up, realizing it was too late to keep up the robo act.

"Look, okay, I'm not just a truck. But you NEED to keep it a secret. Do you understand?"

She stared at him for a second, trying to take it all in. She slowly started to form her words, taking a step back.

"Uh...are you gonna take over the world or something?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be sitting here with glitter on my seat."

She clearly had a million and one questions, everyone did, but he didn't have time to answer. He cut her off before he could speak.

"I just need to know if you can keep a secret."

"...i can. Especially since you helped me. I won't tell anyone, promise."

"Good. Now, I gotta hurry back, you stay safe. And uh- stop sitting in random trucks. Its kinda rude."

He shut his door, about to take off, when she gripped onto the door handle. He stopped, watched her as she scribbled on a napkin, before tucking it in his windshield wipers.

"In case you need me to say a proper sorry."

With that, she turned, and walked inside. He looked wround, and after making sure no one could see him, transformed, and looked at the napkin. A string of numbers that didn't make any sense.

Weird little human.

"Funny how after that you just couldn’t leave me alone, huh Heats?"

"I'm a rescue bot. Helping people is what I do. By the way, I'm STILL not over the glitter."

"You just mad because I'm cute."

She WAS cute, he'd give her that. He pulled up to a drive thru (the one Kade always went to), chuckling.

"Just order something, I don't want you hungry for where we're going."

"Oh sure, I got some spare cash-"

"No. I said I was going to treat you, and I meant it. There's a wallet in the glove box, use the cash."

She took it out, raising a brow.

"Who's 'Kade'?"

"Friend of mine. He owed me the money, so don't sweat it."

Well. He SORT of did, for dealing with him on a daily basis. After ordering fries, a shake, and nuggets, they were off. She raised a brow as she took a sip of her drink.

"Where ARE we going anyway?"

"Wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, would it?"

"Can I at least get a hint? Please?"

"Okay, okay. One hint. It's got more flowers."

She thought about it for a second, and he wanted to laugh. She had such a cute scowl when she was in deep thought. Wasn't even looking out the window to see where that they had in fact, stopped by now.

"Is it...a flower shop?"

"No, but good idea for next time. Look outside."

She looked outside, and he felt her cute little feet stomp on by his pedals in excitement.

"No way!! Let me out, I wanna see I wanna see!"

"Hold your turbo horses!"

He tried to make it sound like it was scolding, but the laughter betrayed him. He unlocked the door, and like a fresh sparkpubby, she bolted. He had found this spot, full of flowers, and secluded from most of the usual hiking trails. Someplace they could really, and honestly be alone.

"It's SO pretty here! Why aren't there more people here?"

He watched her use her phone to take plenty pictures, and in a way, it was sweet, knowing she HAD to remember this place.

"No one really knows. Small island, lots of mysteries. You grabbed the blanket right?"

She stopped, before taking off her backpack and nodded. It was more of a tarp, given the size, but she did bring it. She set laid it out, and after getting her food, she sat down on her knees, giddy as hell.

"So. Am I finally gonna see the real Heatwave? Mr 'rescue bot leader'?"

They had been texting a lot since they first met, she knew damn well that stuff like that made him feel a bit frazzled. She really saw him as this incredible being. If only he knew he saw her the same way. He took a deep breath, just as he learned in yoga.

"Okay. I can show you. But you need to keep calm, okay?"

"I can do calm!"

"I love the enthusiasm, but freckles, come on."

Her said freckled face scowled as her arms folded across her chest.

"Fine. I'll be calm. Promise."

He transformed, and knelt down, trying to make himself look smaller. It didn't really work. She gawked at him, little eyes wide and mouth open.

"I...get it. It's a lot, and it's weird and confusing-"

"You did NOT tell me you were hot."

It was Heatwave's turn to be surprised. She wasn't repelled him; she was ATTRACTED to him. Oh no. Oh no, he was tracking her eyes- she was giving him a total once over, clearly trying to take him all in. He cleared his throat, tipping his hat down to cover his optics a bit. She REALLY thought he was 'hot' (which he learned meant 'attractive' and not 'on fire').

"Could uh...could the hot mech take a seat with you?"

She scooted a bit, patting the spot next to her. He was careful with the flowers, before he finally sat down. Heatwave found it difficult to make eye contact again, they both did. What do you do when a girl you REALLY liked called you 'hot'? Do you say 'you too'? Or 'thanks'? He was apparently super obvious with his feelings, she opted to get the ball rolling.

"So? Tell me about yourself! All I know is your name, and that you're a firetruck."

He finally turned to look at her. He had not much to say, but he did have a lot to LOOK at.

"I'm Heatwave, leader of the rescue bots on Griffin Rock. I come from the planet Cybertron, and I help citizens of this island anyway I can. I do rescues. I've also been in a few parades, but I don't like thinking about that. Kid's have REALLY gross hands..."

She chuckled, clearly amused. The whole time he was talking, he was super distracted. Her eyes looked like stars, her hair was soft yet wild, like the ocean, and her...mouth. Humans always looked squishy to him, but this one had such soft lips. They were glossy, and they looked so precious as she ate. The way her tongue licked the salt off of her tiny fingers-

"Heatwave!"

"Huh? What? What's wrong?"

"You were staring kinda off into space? And you're steaming!"

Oh no. He really was. He checked his HUB, and sure enough, temperatures were above normal. He cleared his throat, shaking his head.

"Sorry, sorry. It uhm...happens."

"You sure you don't want me to like. Feel your forehead or something?"

He was about to say no, but the idea of her hand on his metal...well. One touch wouldn't hurt.

"If it'll make you feel better. Knock yourself out."

He lowered himself down to her level, and she pressed her little hand against his forehead. Oh she was so soft.

"Woah. You are WARM. Like a heater! Oh this is nice actually."

She put both hands on him, now at the sides of his face. Her smile was...so close to him. Her eyes were full of wonder and comfort. She felt comfortable with him. He wasn't self concious about his looks, but knowing that someone so pretty, so full of wonder, found HIM attractive- it made his processor spin.

"You...you got a lot more freckles than I thought. Don't think I could count them all."

"Sounds like quitter talk to me, Heats."

Oh the way he smiled at her. He felt joy plenty of times, but this. This was something so incredibly different.

"I don't back down from a challenge. One. Two. Three. Four. Five...six..."

He was losing track. She smelled prettier than any flower here, her breath was hitting his lips. Then, it happened. Her lips pressed against his, and his spark was absolutely thumping. He hadn't ever...kissed someone before. He never wanted to, up till now. He, as carefully as he could, even pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. It was so sweet, so soft.

Then Heatwave got carried away. He pulled her closer to him, steam hissing from his frame as his glossa kept rubbing against her lips. Her mouth was small, but he demanded entry. She was eager to give it to him, and his glossa got a taste of hers. Still sweet from the shake she just had, it was a taste he wanted more of. He held her in place, not wanting to let this feeling go. She tasted so good, she was so warm, so soft, and wet, and-

"What's wrong?"

He pulled away when he noticed it. She averted her gaze, cleaning the oral lubricant Heatwave had left around her mouth.

"What...do you mean?"

"You're warm. Really warm. And your legs are pressed together. Did I hurt you?"

"No! No, I just...uhm...okay, this is embarrassing. I uhm...forget it, it was just that kissing you and..."

He looked confused for a moment, before he gestured to her.

"If I made you uncomfortable or hurt you, I really should take a look at it. Unless you want me to take you out to see someone?"

Heatwave wasn't dumb. He just knew you shouldn't be poking around someone's bits unless you absolutely had to. She leaned back into his hand, spreading her legs apart, and giving him permission to look. He lifted her skirt up, and saw, to his surprise, that humans had a valve. Didn't have the biolights he was usee to, but still so soft, hot, and at the moment, wet. She groaned into her hand, totally embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I just. You had your tongue out and it just, uh-"

"Oh. You like my tongue?"

Heatwave decided to be bold. He lifted her up, and slowly ran his glossa alongside her folds. Oh the way her legs shook once she felt him. He pulled away, a huge smirk on his face.

"Aw, you good there, freckles? Lookin' a little shakey."

Her face was flushed, her frame shook like a helpless bolt bunny- she was precious.

"Can you just...a bit more? Please Heatwave?"

Who was he to say no to someone who damn near tasted like rainbows?(it was a saying Blades used here, he assumed he was using it right) he brought his mouth up to her again, and dove back in. Only this time, he savored her. He lapped at her little folds hungrily, glossa threatening every once a while to bury himself into her. He felt her little hands grab onto his helmet, felt her legs squirm as she whined for him.

"S-shit, Heatwave. You're...mmph!"

He looked up at her, seeing how she clamped her hand over her mouth. She was enjoying this so much, she was even trying to hump his glossa, desperate for more. With his free hand, he clicked open his spike panel, letting his hand slowly stroke his currently leaky spike.

"Keep making those noises. I like it. I REALLY like it."

She gave him what he wanted, moaning and whimpering helplessly as her fluids started to drip down his face. It felt so good, stroking his spike to the sound of her little mewls.

"W-wait, wait a second."

He pulled away, forcing himself to put his tongue back into his mouth.

"What's wrong?"

"I just. Didn’t want to finish like that. You deserve something too."

He let her go as she wanted to, before he found himself laying back, watching her as she faced away from him. He twitched upon feeling her hand at his sensitive metal, then her hot breath at his tip.

"Wait, I dunno if-"

Then her mouth was at his tip. Oh the way electricity shot up his spinal ridge.

"N-never mind. That. Keep doing it. Way more of that."

Heatwave couldn't just sit there and be lazy piece of scrap metal. He lifted up her skirt, and instead of using his glossa like earlier, he started to use his servos. He sat there, holding onto her cute ass, thumb rubbing in between her folds, all while she sat there, little tongue rolling against his spike, slurping and licking at the transfluids that came from him. He watched as heat rolled from his mouth and into the open air.

Then she came. All it took was a few quick, fast circles against her folds, and she cried out against his metal, dripping from her legs, down to his just waxed body. Suffice to say, hearing her little sounds, watching her as she she tried all she could to please him-it was too much for Heatwave. He overloaded right after, hand digging into the dirt underneath him. He wanted to sit there, basking in the afterglow, when he looked up. He didn't just stain his chest, he stained her pretty shirt. He sat up with a bit of a jolt, knowing he fucked it up.

"Fucking shit- I'm sorry, I'm usually messy but that was an-"

She chuckled, shaking her head, and wiping the bits of overload from her lips.

"It's just a shirt. Really, it's fine."

Heatwave wasn't a usually a 'no it's not' kinda guy. He usually believed when people left it at that. But something about the way she wiped her face free of his overload, made him think differently.

"Why don't I take you back into town, buy you some new clothes?"

"I mean....if you're offering and all."

Heatwave chuckled. Yep. He definitely had the hots for her.

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"Kade! Heatwave is back!"

Dani called out from the kitchen. It was well into the night at this point by the time Heatwave pulled in. Kade rushed out to meet him before he made it into the garage.

"Where have you been? Chase has been trying to-"

"I kept him updated on the situation across town, so unless an emergency happened-"

"An emergency DID happen!"

Heatwave finally decided to hit the breaks and pay attention.

"What happened? Is everyone safe?"

"You drove off, and I left my wallet in your glove box- had to cancel MY date because you didn't come back."

Heatwave sighed in relief. It was stupid, sure, but at least it wasn't a real emergency.

"Alright, hop in and get it."

He opened his door, and Kade reached in to get it. Once he hopped out, Heatwave drove into the garage to explain himself to the rest of the crew. Then he heard Kade yell from behind him.

"HEATWAVE WHY IS MY WALLET EMPTY?!"

He should feel guilty. But remembering her smile? He absolutely didn't.

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 3

Summary: ellies birthday and mothers day is coming up as emotions and pent up anger are spiraling between you, negan, and jack while more and more secrets begin to unfold.

18+

Warming: nsfw, fluff, kink, depression, abuse

Sorry for the late update on this chapter its kind of a short one ive just have been going through some personal things and havent found the motivation to finish this one yet.❤ i hope you all like it!❤

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You and negan haven't spoke in a few days ellies birthday is today and you have been busy decorating. Negan is suppose to be picking up the cake at the store. jack has returned back from his "business trip" withq an odd hickey on his neck that keeps gawking at you everytime you speak to him. You want to avoid conflict because you arent so innocent yourself after what happen with negan last time you saw him but thats just not who you are....you have to confront him but you also dont want to ruin ellies day infront of everyone.

"Hey jack, do you mind helping me with this streamer" you called out to him from the ladder

"Sure hun" he took the streamer from your hand taping it up to the wall

"Thank you.....uh negan should be here soon with her cake" you said folding up the step ladder

"I could of went and grabbed it" he scoffs

"I uh..well sorry i didnt know it was a big deal" you try to laugh it off politely

"Dont even worry about it...." He walks past you ramming his ahoulder into you heading outside

Negan had arrive with the cake and so did a few of ellies friends and your mother. You and your mothers relationship really has never been that great but you try to make peace with it for ellies sake. Negan came in with a huge gift box all wrapped in pink with a bow.

" i thought we agreed nothing crazy" you whispered to him

"Whaat...can i not spoil my girl" negan grins at you

Ellie runs out of her room her eyes light up at the size of the gift her dad got her.

"Mommy look at this...its humongo!" She says messing with the bow

"I see honey..dont mess with it yet" you giggle

"Where is your boy toy.." His tongue slides across his bottom lip

You kept silent while negan stared you down waiting for a response but nothing came out his eyes were burning a hole through you he always knew when shit was up.

"Ah i see....the silent treatment" folding his arms

Negan walks off to go play with ellie and say hello to a few people when your mother walks up to you.

"Hey mom..." You say emotionless

"What is negan doing here.." She asks

"Mom...please dont. Thats ellies dad. I told you we are trying to work on things for ellies sake" you say annoyed.

"Well...once a cheater always a cheater. Im just saying" as she sips on her cup of wine walking away

A few hours have passed and ellie got to blow out her candles and eat cake. Jack still hasnt said much to you throughout the whole party and its more than obvious that negan is starting to catch on im just hoping he doesn't notice the hicky on his neck. Ellie has been bugging you about negans gift so you were going to let her open it.

"Ellie open it up over here sweetie so everyone can see" you say smiling

Ellie quikly rips the hot pink rapping paper off and squeals in excitement as she realizes its a electric scooter that she has been wanting. Negan was standing by your side with his hand sneakily rested on your lower back with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh my god you got me that scooter!!" Ellie begins jumping up and down

"Negan....those cost alot" you whispered in his ear

"dont worry about it....i got it taken car of" he says sternly

"Lets take it outside!!" Negans runs over and picks it up in excitment with all of the kids following him outside to ride on the scooter. You were throwing away dirty plates when jack came up to you

"So you want to explain why you and negan have been so close" he quietly says to you

You instantly start to burn with rage as he asks you that knowing he has been keeping things from you too and the fact his assistant melissa has been speaking to him inappropriately. You were holing the knife in your hand for cutting the cake reminding you of the incident that happened between you and negan once you found out he was cheating. you froze and gripped tightly on the knife thinking of how to approach this.

"You're a fucking whore..." He spat at you

"Jack.....get the fuck away from me" you quietly say

"Yeah i bet thats what you want.....so he can fuck you" he says through gritted teeth

"Its. Ellies. Birthday.....fucking knock it off we can settle this later" you slowly set the knife down unclenching your fist

Jack stands there glaring at you with his jaw clecnhed before giving up and walking away. You let out a sigh of relief and pour yourself a glass of wine. You take a sip closing your eyes feeling like everything is going in slomotion in that moment when you here yelling outside and notice its negan and jack. You drop your glass spilling your wine everywhere running outside.

"Back the fuck off man!" Jack yells with his fist balled up

"Ohh...you really want to go there dude..." Negan laughs

"You are fucking (y/n) and i know it!" Jack lunges towards him throwing a punch hitting negan in the face making him stumble

Negan catches his balace reaching up to his face touching where jack punched him in the mouth realizing he is bleeding negan licks the blood off his lips and lets out a sinister almost scary deep chuckle.

"Oh...you fucked up." Negan lunges towards jack football tackling him to the ground he starts punching jack over and over again blood all over his fists

"Negan!!!...no! Stop!" You rush over trying to pry negan off of jack

"Negan stop for ellie please!" You begin to cry struggling to finally get him off causing you to fall backwards with negan on you

"You are a dead fucking man!....now get the fuck off my property..." Negan threats

You push negan off to go check on jack you try to get jack to respond to you and see if he is okay but he just spits in your face shoving you away causing you to fall before you know it negan charges back over and starts beating the shit out of him all you can do is scream at them and cry. Through tear filled eyes you notice the cops rushing up the street pulling into the drive way the last thing you remember is the cops pulling negan off and everything went black.

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Jack and negan were both arrested but were soon let go apparently i had fainted due to stress and dehydration they kept me in the hospital until i was better. You kicked jack out of the house and you haven't spoke to negan since ellies birthday. Things have been rough being alone for ahwile and ellie was getting upset about not seeing her dad.

Text from negan:

Hey....im coming by

You looked at your phone to see a text from negan but you just ignored it and continued to cook some food for ellie. There was a knock at the door you sighed annoyingly before unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door to negans innocent brown eyes staring back at you. before you could give him a chance to speak you shut the door in his face but he quickly caught it in time with his foot in the doorway before it closed.

"Negan...ellie should be home. She is still upset" you sigh

"Thats okay i want to make it up to you two" he says pushing the door open coming inside

You just stand there silent with your arms crossed untill you hear ellies bus coming down the road and before you know it she busts through the door yelling.

"Mommmyyyy! Happy mothers dayzz!" Ellies runs up to you handing you a picture she made at school

"Awe...thank you sweet heart its gorgeous" you took the pink paper from her smiling and when to hang it on the fridge

"Look i want to take you two out to dinner...its mothers day and you deserve it..look i know i fucked up but that asshole had it coming" negan says

"Negan dont.....go ask Ellie she is the real one you need to be apologizing to not me" you stare at the ground avoiding eye contact.

"Ohh ellie daddy wants to talk to you!" He walks off to her room

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You, negan, and ellie were all out at dinner at your favorite steakhouse enjoying your meal when the waiter brought a bottle of wine

"Negan....i cant afford that" you quietly say

"Ah ah....you deserve it i mean you are the best mom ever" he winks at you popping the lid off pouring wine into your glass

"Thanks..." You shyly say before taking a sip

"So.....the school fired me" negan cleared his throat

You choked on your drink hearing the words that had just came out of negans mouth

"What?..how come" you say wipping wine off your chin

"Well....they dont want me as a coach anymore since what happened at ellies birthday. They say its wildly inappropriate and against policy to still have me there" he bites in his steak

"What are you going to do..." You ask worried

"Ohhh no biggie i always have things taken care of" he smiles at you

"If you need anything im here..." You look up at him

" i know....thank you" he reaches across the table holding your hand

The three of you finish up dinner afterwards you all go for a late walk through the park. It felt nice to get out and have some fresh air after what happended at the party. Your phone kept buzzing off the hook of texts from jack you kept trying to hide it from negan to not let him worry. You felt bad hiding it from negan but you knew it would start a fight but you also didnt want to let jack go without some talking. Negan took you and ellie back home ellie ran inside and got ready for bed.

"I know he is talking to you..." Negan says sternly while placing one hand against the wall beside your head

"Negan....can we not talk about this right now" you say turning your head away from him

"No!...you will look at me when im speaking to you" negan grabs ahold of your chin forcing you to look at him

"Yes....yes im still talking to him.." You say embarassed

"Why....he is such a load of whoreshit....im standing right infront of you (y/n)...im here now! Take me back please. Im an honest man now!" Negan growls

" get...off of me!" You scream and shove him away from you and begin to walk angrily down the road

"(Y/n) get back here now!...where the fuck do you think you are going!" Negan trys to catch up with you when it suddenly starts raining

"Negan stop trying so hard!...this is going nowhere!" You say crying

"Why do you keep saying that!...i want this to work!" Negan finally catches up to you grabbing you by the arm spinning you around

"......well i dont..." You choked on those words as they slipped out of your mouth it felt like your heart had just stopped for a split second it killed you to say that to negan but it had to be done

"You....dont want this." He said quietly and upset with rain drops running down his perfect face

"Negan....i.... I cant. You have to let me go" you say caressing his face" you said giving him a half smile with a single tear rolling down your cheek

"W....what about ellie.....thats my babygirl" Negan begans to tear up pulling you into a hug

"You can still be in ellies life.....i start therapy next tuesday" you say ending the hug

"You can talk to me (y/n)" negan sniffles

"There are just things that just feel easier letting out to a stranger sometimes..."

"I love you....." Negan says bresthlessly

"....i love you too but from a distance.....i have boundaries set now negan"

You and negan began to walk back to the house getting inside you hand him a towel to dry himself off. Negan follows you to the bedroom.

"There are still some of your clothes in the closet...." You say facing away from him

"You still have some of my old clothes here...." Negan opens the door seeing his shirts still hanging in the same spot before he moved out

"I didnt know if you still wanted them or not..." You say nervously

"Its okay. Thank you" negan takes off his soaking wet shirt switching it out with an old faded band shirt

"You can sleep on the couch if you would like..." You offer him

"You sure you are going to be okay with that?" He raises an eyebrow at you

"Yeah....plus its been lonely here just me and ellie" you chuckle handing him a blanket

Negan takes the blanket from you before turing around to open the bedroom door to leave. As soon as the door shut you quietly sobbed making sure it wasnt loud enough for negan to hear. You wiped your tears away before getting yourself ready for bed. You tossed and turned for most of the night your head filled with unnecessary thoughts and cenarios. You just wanted all of this pain to go away you dont know what you are doing with yourself anymore the only thing that keeps you holding on is ellie and negan.

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