#yeah so glad you felt seen -- this isnt about that though this is about gender

[silverskye13]

I am curious about #26 for the ask game (for any works you’ve done)

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended?

Oh hmm. That's a hard one to answer.

I don't have any pictures of it to show unfortunately, but there was a piece I did in college -- it was a series of 6 watercolor paintings, all halving in size until the last, smallest piece. It went like:

1. Close up of mushrooms. [Smallest image]

2. Textured tree bark painted in blue/pink

3. Another detail of the mushrooms from a new angle

4. A side by side of two fir tree branches, one with male cones, and one with female cones. The mushrooms are growing across the branch.

5. A side by side of the two trees from the ground, showing the mushrooms have spread down the trunks of the trees

6. The felled trees, blooming with mushrooms, their rings in rainbow color. [Largest image]

I made the paintings when a recent study had revealed a new mushroom discovered to have thousands of unique sexes in the species. Some queer spaces were pointing to the new discovery as another example of how binary sex and gender were a lot squishier than previously thought, given a lot of "there's only two sexes and genders" arguments are supplemented with examples from nature.

When I showed the pieces to the class, I got a lot of critiques about how the colors I picked were too bright, wondering why I'd tinted the pinecones pink/blue, asking what the mushrooms were for. I think I had one person get partly there by saying the trees seemed to represent a married couple and the breakdown of a relationship. When I explained my concept, I got a lot of blank looks and polite "oh that's so complex" style responses. The professor thought I was doing too much with the concept, and I shouldn't expect an audience to glean the hyper specific response.

I think it was a pretty interesting eye-opener into how isolated my personal topic echo chambers had become.

[plounce]

as someone whos played ffxiv for almost 8 years now i gotta say its SO exciting to see youve started playing. i really enjoy seeing you talking about trc and kurofai (unfortunately i know absolutely nothing about xmen so it goes right over my head) and so im excited to see any thoughts you have about the ffxiv story and characters!

HEEHEEHEE. most of my ffxivposting has been in a thread on my twt priv, but after the recent botslaughter im gonna try and move it over here.

im at the beginning of stormblood. here are my thoughts:

as i said previously, in ARR i was very meh on alphinaud. i have a grudge against his ARR va (due to critical role), i was like "WHY are we starting a PARAMILITARY ORG", and i was kind of like hey. im playing a 6ft tall elf lady with a huge axe. you fancy little twerp dont boss me around. the end of ARR was soooo crazy and good though, really kicked the plot into gear for me, and those cutscenes were like WHOA!! OMG THE GUY FROM THE BEGINNING CUTSCENE... and in heavensward he became my little boy. because he basically reversed all the things i didnt really like about him. new VA. constant regret and shame about the crystal braves. and everyone was like awww hahaha youre a nice little boy. and he is. he is a boy. and he's polite. and he got a new outfit that covered his midriff, which i appreciated.

minfillia... im sorry. her VA was so insanely bad. and i never really DID anything with her that made me feel attached to her. she felt very bland and generic. i was like okay cool 👍 see ya. i also think her outfit was so blaaaahhhh like it gave me girl next door final fantasy character, NOT leader of an NGO, which would have been more appealing to me.

y'shtola: one of my mutuals is constantly posting her very cute WoL/yshtola fanart and i thought i would like a bit more than i presently do... i like her! i just feel like she hasnt gotten to do very much that isnt going "hmm.. aether." i think it's delightful that she shares a VA with sera from dragon age. bitches with bangs 4 lesbians

urianger: when i first saw urianger i was aghast. i was like. PEOPLE ARE HORNY FOR THAT THING? but now that ive seen more of his shb/edw outfit im like aha i see. you have gender. you're either like "do not perceiveth me" or "dripping with gold in a lightweight backless gown". i really enjoyed his undercover outfit with the WoD. i don't think he did anything wrong. he was like "yeah i did lie to everyone and help manipulate events to send minfilia to a different data center. i feel absolutely awful about it, i wish my trolley problem principles had not made me deceiveth thou all, i am a horrible villain, pray do not feel compelled to forgive me" and i was like nah youre good 👍 like she isnt DEAD. plus he always tried to help me a little bit when he could. i like his funny voice. i like how in ARR he was voiced by fenris dragonage. take those goggles and hood off again mx tism

tataru: if lalafells didn't look like that. i would be shipping my WoL with her. i think she is so cute and fun and a delight. she is a joy. my girl JUGGLES!!!!! she makes OUTFITS!!!!!!!!! she has A KETTLE WITH A FANCY NAME!!!!!!!!!! and she works so hard. im so glad she got to come with us to ishgard. she is my joy. my light...

thancred: i have heard tell that he really leaves behind his initial lothario characterization, and i really have not seen it in forever, which made ARR thancred perfectly fine to me. i was prepared for him to be much more egregious. i wish i knew him a bit better before he got possessed. i was like oh okay! yeah i guess i havent seen him in a while. which made me sad because i love possession storylines i think they are so juicy. his ponytail and rattee (like a ratstache but a goatee) are funny to me. thancred nakey images were funny. there was a moment towards the end of hvw when he came back and i talked to him in ishgard between convos with nobles and he said stuff that was very commiserating and i was like okay i have decided you and my WoL are complaining friends. sipping the haterade together. i think he's like 5'7". like with alphinaud, the character development in this game has really surprised me with how effective it feels. i look forward to seeing him grimly yet compassionately fail forward even more. and to be a single dad. aforementioned mutual (who i know through klapollo) is into thancred/urianger so im also looking forward to confining them into the yaoi compartment

cid: HE IS MY FRIEND :) i love how he's a short king. i like how he was simply like "fascism and imperialism are bad. i am going to go fight against it by building big airships :)" no qualms no struggle just knew what was right and went and did it. he's like a gay older coworker who you go out for drinks with sometimes and invites you to barbeques. i enjoy him and nero's turbodivorce saga.

alisaie: i completely forgot to do all the bahamut raids in ARR so when she showed up post-hvw i was like oh it's time for the girltwin! and she was like "oh we've worked together already :)" and i was like oh god. we only had one conversation. oops. so far i think she's a delight. i have heard that she's a bit of a lesbo. good for her. love that she gets a sword and she gets to be the mean one of the two twins. i cant wait for her little red jacket. looking forward to more >:)

krile: have not seen much of her so far but i LOVE how she has a cloak with cat ears, so cute. LOVE how she teases alphinaud. im like yes... shared character history... quite fun...

ysayle: I LOVE YOU DRAGON ELSAGARD I LOVE YOUUUUUU BIIIIIIIIITCH... I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. i love her style. i love her political convictions. i love her gap moe with the moogles. i think my WoL had a crush on her. i think it's messed up that during the scene where the WoL and alphinaud are prying the eyes off of estinien, she touches alphinaud's hand. she should be touching MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!! all love to haurchefaunt but I BONDED WITH HER.

estinien: i know many people like estinien. every time he spoke a word at ysayle i felt like a barking like her guard dog. DONT YOU SPEAK TO MY GIRL IN THAT TONE YOU BROODYBOY SMELLMAN. SHUT UP. i assume he softens up now that he is retired from All That. i thought his relationship with alphinaud was very sweet - i liked when he taught alphinaud how to gather firewood. i think my WoL only tolerates estinien because alphinaud is so attached.

haurchefant: i was still barely reading dialogue in ARR when he was introduced. so he showed up and was like OMG HI AGAIN BESTIE!!!!!! and i was like oh! that man! one of my friends is gaymarried to him so he's like my gay brother-in-law. i am a lesbian and my WoL is also a lesbian so we were hagging/tyking (dyke tyke) out with each other. the facial animation on the WoL when he croaks was astoundingly good. i call him horsey

aymeric: well he certainly is competent, principled, and nice. one of the more handsome elezen men in the game. i know he's implied playersexual so i really need him to stop inviting me to dinner because i have had conversations with dude friends like that before and it is so painfully awkward. i think it is great that he committed fratricide AND popecide. wahoo!

lyse: i really enjoyed yda. yknow. i thought she was such a fun cockney karate bimbo. i didn't know she was lyse. i've heard about lyse. and how she is conspicuously the only blonde blue-eyed ala mhigan. and how she is a source of some of the collar-tugging politics in stormblood. sigh. so. i am now burdened with her.

raubahn: I LOVE RAUBAHNNNNNNNNNN I LOVE HIMMMM i love how he has a small adult son. i love how he is trying so hard. i love how he is so righteous and hardworking. the misery lolorito and ilberd put him through during hvw made me so mad on his behalf. when lolorito was like "oh, how we laughed at how upset you were!" i was like RAUBAHN. HE IS THE PERFECT HEIGHT FOR YOU TO JUST PUNT ACROSS THE TOWN SQUARE. PUNT HIM RAUBAHN. YOU DESERVE IT. and i love a one-armed king. kurogane swag

lucia: i think she is cool and fun. hahaha dont potentially be in love with aymeric queen youre so hot and cool and butch

matoya: SHE'S SO COOL. I LOVE HER DESIGN. HER VOICE ACTING. AND HER RUDENESS. AND OF COURSE THE FROGS

moenbryda: i thought she was so fun and cool. i was like cool!! new character!! big funny woman i love it!! and then near bluefog she dished about her childhood a little and i was like... is that a deathflag. and it was :(

okay thats all the npcs i can think to have anything to say about.

i was pleasantly surprised by the way that lalafells are not the lolibait/shotabait i had grimly prepared for them to be. they are just short funny guys for the most part. moving past that, i then got slammed into by the giant brick that says "BEAST TRIBES". i heard that the new writer has made their writing a lot better (apparently the alliance leaders acknowledge that they have been basically been doing genocide on these sentient beings, which is helping me push forward through stuff)! i do their quests really regularly because i like helping them out. i would really love to see someone with more expertise on the subject write about the presentation of indigenous peoples in ffxiv, because i think that there is a lot going on that is vital to critically inspect.

i have to go eat dinner now. but i will try to post more thoughts on here as i have them >:)

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

[sleepypeaky]

{getaway} final, pt.4

Reader is the Blinder’s chauffeur….naturally that entails getaway driving too

Part 4/4 ———-part 1, part 2 , part 3

also this was unintentional but the reader is gender neutral

WC: 1458

Warnings: Shooting, blood, dramaaa

A/n: set just after season 5, like the day after the last episode.

and no this isnt historically accurate obvs but i had to do it to write the fucking thing

tnis is so fun to write so try and stop me. this is kind of a Finn x reader?? idk?? finn is my wife?? but he also smol gay boi?? im confused.

“Where’s Finn!?!” Ada yelled as she kicked open the door to Tommy’s study.

Tommy was at his desk with his head down. Arthur ventured to answer,

“We haven’t seen him since the speech. Johnny Dogs said (y/n) went to look for him.”

“Arthur that was 12 hours ago! They could be hurt!”

RING

Tommy raised his head and grabbed the phone.

“What?”

He eyes widened.

He slammed the phone back down on the receiver, and scrambled to his feet.

“Mosley’s been shot.”

They stared at each other.

Ada gasped.

“Oh my god.”

They all ran out the door.

“NO NO NO NO FUCK! FUCK!” You screamed into the steering wheel.

To say that you were speeding was an understatement, you were going so fast that you weren’t sure the car could handle it.

And at the same time, to make things even more dangerous, you were flicking your gaze to Finn’s marbled complection. 

“Finn Finn come on come onnnn!” You slapped his face lightly, trying to wake him up.

He made a breathy groan, you weren’t sure if it was voluntary, but at least he was alive.

You cursed yourself,

“FUCK (y/n)!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!” You yanked the wheel to the right and were thrown along with it as the car screeched into the direction you gave it.

You were almost at the hospital. It wasn’t smart considering what had just happened, but by the amount of blood you figured it was either this or him dying, and you were not taking that chance.

And this was far enough away that maybe it would just be passed off as a casualty of one of the many daily gang shootings.

You tore into the hospital driveway and slammed on the brakes, the tires were so shot from the drive that you skidded about 3 feet.

Throwing open the door and screaming for help, you sprinted around the car and flung open the passenger side door, grabbing finn’s face in you hands and trying to call him out of the depths of his mind.

“Finn finn wake up please please.” You cried.

His head lolled in your hands, but his eyelids fluttered, you whimpered with relief.

Two men with a stretcher came up behind you.

You let them to him and watched as they ran him inside.

Your legs, as heavy as led, followed suit.

_______________

Ada sat frozen in the passenger seat of the car. A million thoughts going through her head.

She had her eyes pressed shut, hoping to anyone that would listen that her suspicions weren’t true.

Tommy’s hands were gripping the steering wheel so hard they resembled a skeleton’s. His face was in its usual stone mask, but his eyes were wind and active, no doubt thinking the same thoughts as Ava.

Arthur was silent in the backseat.

They pulled up to the scene and halted the car. Police were everywhere. The rain obscured the scene and oddly made it seem less intense than it was.

Two black tarps lay out on the ground.

Tommy sped over to them and in one swift motion, looked under each. The officers on the scene had recognized him and were awaiting his arrival, so they let this trespassing happen.

Though he let none of this show on his face, Tommy stood up and was relieved, both in seeing Mosley with half a skull, and seeing that the other body wasn’t Finn.

Maybe he wasn’t involved after all.

Nevertheless, before he went to speak to the press and police, he nodded to Ada: the signal to check the hospitals just in case.

_________

“I’m sorry you can’t come in here.”

A nurse grabbed your arm.

You looked at her in a daze,

“but..but...”

She looked apologetic and led you to a chair.

You looked down at yourself: your left shirt sleeve was drenched up to the elbow in blood from holding onto him during the car ride. As well as many other spaces on your clothes. And no doubt the car seat was completely ruined.

But all that was moot. 

Because you gave into Finn he was fucking bleeding out in the other room. Why didn’t you just fucking say no? No Finn, we are not going to assassinate a parliament member. No Finn, i won’t drive you. Maybe you thought that you being there would somehow protect him? Doesn’t matter.

You leaned your head back against the wall and closed your eyes.

You sat like that for who-knows-how long when you heard your name called.

“(y/n)!?”

You stumbled to you feet, looking around for the nurse who called your name. Instead, you locked eyes with Ada.

A sob escaped your mouth as she ran towards you.

“Jesus fuck (y/n)! What happened?!” She held you.

You lowered you voice, 

“I don’t know why i didn’t stop him. I could have but didn’t.”

She inhaled and nodded softly,

“It was you then.” She whispered.

You nodded,

“So fucking stupid–”

“At least you were fuckin’ there! If you weren’t there he would be under that black tarp with the faschist.” She harsh-whispered.

I made you feel a tad better, but still.

_____

Polly walked to the ringing phone with a usual speed.

“Hello?”

“Pol, it’s Ada.”

She tilted her head,

“What happened.”

Ada sighed over the phone,

“Finn is in the hospital, i’ll explain when you get here.”

“Jesus– not again. I’ll be right there.”

She shook her head and went to the door.

_______

“HE DID WHAT?!”

“Shhhh! Pol!”

Polly looked around to see if she was the only sane person in the room. Surely it wasn’t out of line to react like this.

She looked over at where you were sitting, still covered in blood and leaning on your hand.

“This family needs to calm the fuck down.”

“Not likely, pol.”

_____

The appearance of feet in your sightline brought you back to reality.

You looked up.

“He’s resting now, he’ll be ok.”

You stood up, shaky.

You gestured to Polly and Ada.

“Can we see him?”

The nurse nodded and led you to his room.

_____

6 hours later

The first thing that moved were his fingers, they looked as if he were playing an invisible piano on the white sheets.

Finn opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. White walls, his feet, you passed out in a chair.

He smirked,

“Oi.” He croaked.

He watched your eyelids snap open confusingly, then they made contact with his.

“Tired?” he jested.

You glared,

“You’re a bastard Finn Shelby. A right bastard.”

You stood up and looked down over his bed, you flicked his nose.

“Ow wha’ the fuck!?”

“That,” you slipped, “Was for draggin me into this mess and then making me save your ass.”

“yeah thats fair.”

You sat down again, but pushed the chair closer. You took one of his hands.

“I don’t want to be covered in your blood again.”

He grunted, 

“Can’t guarantee anything.”

You smiled at his humor, but you felt sad inside.

“I can’t lose any more of you.”

He understood what you meant. John and you had been close, you were like an extra sibling. 

Finn turned his hand so that your’s fell in place. He squeezed.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

You smiled again and lay you head down on the bed beside his shoulder.

It was here that Finn felt good, where he could embrace the quiet sensuality of plain love. Not forced, or made to behave differently, he could be himself.

He leaned his head atop yours.

________

1 Day later

“and in conclusion, you are never, to ever, do anything like that ever again. Not, that there will be an occasion to do so.” 

Tommy finished his drastically long scolding of Finn.

“And (y/n), i want to be mad, but essentially the same goes to you as well. But you were doing your job, and i’m glad Finn wasn’t alone. At least there was one working brain in the plan.”

You blinked,

“I still have a job?”

Tommy chuckled,

“What, you thought this would change that? I did tell you there would be excitement didn’t i?”

“Yeah, my body feels real excited.” Finn groaned from the bed, rubbing the bandages that were wrapped around his midsection.

“Yeah but thats what you get.” You said.

He frowned.

_____

_____

_____

_____

1930

The car rumbled beneath you, and with the windows down, your hair cooled in the breeze.

You looked into your mirrors, he was gaining on you.

“Fool.” You muttered.

Your foot lowered further on the gas.

The finish line was in sight,

5

4

3

2

1

Whoosh. 

Again, not a surprising victory. 

You eased off the gas and began the process of stopping the car.

The screech of brakes continued until you exited the car.

You threw up your hands,

“Really?! I thought i taught you better than that Shelby!”

Finn flipped you off and hopped out of his car.

“Well i’m not insane, like someone know.”

you punched his arm.

“Bastard.”

“Lunatic.”

You looked up at him and grinned.

He did the same.

He leaned down and kissed you, you returning it naturally.

You smiled into the kiss, before reaching up and grabbing his hat.

You broke off and frisbeed his hat into the grass.

“Race you!” You squealed as you ran to your car.

Finn stood in confusion at how quick that progressed.

You got back in the car, and started the engine.

_____________

The End

[bramblepaws]

the Last of the Candy....

the Vriska (Vriska) conversation was interesting but it also threw into sharp relief the fact that (Vriska) is still a literal teenager and just had sex with a literal middle-aged clown so, homestuck is fucking canceled actually, 

oh word. also i really like Vriska’s typing quirk because she types like a millennial :/

also the vrisrezi content is .. good

im gonna be that bitch but haha i found a typo

im enjoying roxy telling john that he’s an idiot and she could fuck up her own life just fine, thanks very much, because mood. but im also glad to hear she likes it? im tired. but im glad roxy feels real again. but i still don’t know what the Fucke is going on

THIS feels right. this feels good. he hasn’t, and it’s been weird that the epilogue has been treating john as “the main character.” he’s never been the main character! just the first one. 

ugh but i hate that! i want life to make sense! i want there to be narrative beats that we can follow and fall into! i want to know what the fuck is going on so i can take the next step. why ISNT life like a video game, where the next quest is a bullet-point on the map and the parameters are outlined for you to follow. I want to be able to choose but I want to know where i’m going. you know? 

hm. this is a good point and i am glad it’s gearing towards this. 

i like this. also really enjoying the mulling she’s doing over gender. feels good feels organic.

i want to take this to heart but i’m. Resisting. how does hussie know my age. is he among us? how does he know us so well............. Hussie If You’re Reading This--

good..........

aw man now we’re in DaveJade land. i think the biggest thing i ache for with how they turned out in this timeline is that... their friendship.. just got crushed under the heel of whatever the romantic relationship is. they were so good as friends. i miss just seeing them interact as friends. 

oh shit i can’t believe Obama is a hope player

aw man of all the people that have to worry about selves i wish dave wasn’t one of them. he’s done that enough. 

first: i see it. i see the image of hologram obama doing this. hussie truly is a master of words. 

second: i know literally a BUNCH of the cast is bi already and this makes the most sense for Dave as a character, but i am still a bit... sad. disappointed? i wanted dave to be bi so, so badly. i wanted him to be bi and STILL be in love with Karkat and not be in love with Jade. i wanted him to not be in love with Jade because he wasn’t in love with jade and was actually in love with karkat, not because he doesn’t like women. blows air out my nose. i dunno. 

holy shit

m...mistew pwesident??

DID DIRK AND MR OBAMA FUCK:?!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!

oh okay so Rose was collapsing under the stresses of the ultimate self when we first started out, but she gave up her ultimate self when John chose candy. ok. 

also this feels like... God Tier Squared. also obama is there. 

i do still very much enjoy aradia, though she has felt a tad “off” during this session as well. a parody of herself, almost? maybe? just like... Her Traits But.. from the past & repeated. maybe that’s just because she didn’t say very much up til now though

hmmm okay so this is going to be something about the changing of the medium and the Narrative? also it is interesting to compare them, honestly, because when Not Jade says it, it becomes something... not UNTRUE, but LESS true. when the objective narrative says something, it is 100% factual. i think it’s going to be interesting to go from candy to meat... since from my skim-through of meat there’s a lot of narrative that ISN’T objective, it’s still being told by the characters. but if it’s being told by a character, that DOES change the level of truth... to something. LESS true. 

also Not Jade’s right, i haven’t been paying attention to the differences until she asked us to. generally i think my personal subconscious understanding of the differences would be.... the characters are telling me things that i have to sift through and lift meaning of, and the narrator is telling me The Meaning as well as the objective truth of events that are happening. characters slant it. the narrative slants it in a way that’s more purposeful? but no, that doesn’t even make sense, because of course the narrative is implied to be “in charge” of the characters speaking as well. so both have a similar PURPOSE. it’s just in how we sift the meaning out. hmmm. i have to think on this more. 

“almost like one of your own thoughts speaking to you” implies something along the lines of... the narrative has more ability to get through our natural safeguards against some level of influence? because if a character is saying something, we’re going to interpret the meaning and the intent through the lens of how we feel about the character. like i have some animosity towards not-jade, but i feel she is presented as being wise and generally well-intentioned, so i’m open to hearing this. i ALSO feel as though she’s being used as a voice for the narrative at the moment, so i’m taking her words at face value. 

with gamzee, on the other hand, and with all of his “redemption arc” stuff, there was a VERY different interpretation. because the things about redemption were coming through him, i interpreted the narrative as using him to be facetious about redemption arcs in general. gamzee was portrayed as an absurd character both in the canon and in the epilogue, and that paired with the emptiness of his words about redemption led to... me not taking his literal words as a message of the narrative. it was a joke, which meant that the Redemption Arc is something that the narrative thinks gamzee doesn’t deserve, and possibly something that the narrative thinks is impractical and empty. 

so. not-jade might be making a point about how the narrative uses characters to communicate aspects of itself in different ways? and how the narrative itself is a step outside of that, and we just take what it says at face value. at least, more at face value than any of the character dialogue. 

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... so now ... we are talking about the choice to make homestuck a mostly character-voice-based medium? 

yes..... this is good and interesting. and interesting in that it paints a clear picture of the fact that even the narrative has an agenda, we’re just.. not conscious of it in the same way. 

(also if you can’t tell im REALLY enjoying this section, i love theoretical meta bullshit like this)

yeah exactly! but then pointing this out makes you want to look over the whole thing and wonder what the intent was. Hussie, what was your intent?

hmmmmmm.......

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM INTERESTING

are the two timelines going to converge? i actually don’t even kno if dirk is like alive by the end of the other one but i gotta ASSUME he is. since i’ve seen people talking about him being The Big Bad. also it’s interesting that.. the post-scratch kids are. the ones that are like The Villains. why not Jade? why not Rose? does it have something to do with how late in the game we met them, or is it more that they’re the ones that still had hugely open-ended character arcs? rose and jade got their chances to be evil? it’s been too long since i read homestuck, i don’t even remember where any of them were by the end. 

[tumblunni]

Man, god, im just suddenly thinking about "ak/ur/oku" and like.. How the fuck did that even become such a huge thing in early 2000s fandom? Dear god so much early gay shipping in fandom was super unhealthy "sinful" bullshit made by straight people for fetishy purposes rather than genuine representation. But a/kurok/u was such a weird one because it was like.. Just globally accepted and never aknowledged to be problematic?? Man i still remember how lil 13 year old me didnt know there was anything wrong with it, like seriously when stuff like this becomes popularized it ends up sending bad messages to actual queer youth. Learning about your sexuality via the internet cos there's no sex ed irl for you, abd you end up stumbling into toxic fandoms before you have the critical thinking skills necessary to know that this stuff is bad and shouldnt be imitated. Like seriously one of the things i worry about EVERY NIGHT AT 2AM THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING is that stupid lil 15 year old me made a post on deviantart going like "are pedophiles really all bad? I mean it sounds like an illness. I mean maybe theyre just scared and they want help." Like im terrified constantly that someone will find that old thing and judge me as if i still believe that apologist crap, or as if it was actually an opinion i formed from a fully developed mind, rather than from a kid who (as far as i knew) had never met a pedophile, thinking about pedophiles in the abstract, while being influenced by fuckin pedophile-dominated fandoms and having NO IDEA. and of cooooourse i wanted to believe that i was mature for my age, i thought that was a compliment.. Uuuuugh...

Sorry, going a little offtopic there.

But anyway isnt it kinda weird how akur/oku was just.. Not even regarded as pedophilia? And when i was a kid it wasnt just me not understanding the gross parts of the fandom, i legit never thought axel was that much older than roxas. And it was one of the more popular gay ships cos at that point as far as we knew it was the only person axel had any sort of backstory with, and he cared so much about this guy that he was willing to sacrifice his life to help sora even when he knew roxas would never come back. At the time without further context it seemed like a reasonable assumption to make? And it wasnt until Days that i realized axel was intended to be an adult rather than a teenager, and even worse A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MADE THAT SHIPPING ART KNEW THAT. Uuugh it was so gross in retrospect to go back and see all the clues i missed that these people were fetishizing roxas's inexperience and veey much writing him as underage. AAAAAAA!

Anyway im glad that shit is now recognized as shit and now we have canon evidence of this dude being old as balls. And honestly i love the relationship of him as a big brother/dad to roxas and xion a lot more, even though as a kid i was desperate for any kind of queer representation in kh. Like.. I never really actually liked the ship that much or felt any chemistry? I just latched onto a few bad writing flubs that could potentially be interpreted as Gay Evidence because i was SO damn desperate! Like i felt like i had to support all these gross abusive ships in fandom cos if i wasnt then i was being 'homophobic', i mean they were THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTIONS, right? :( Its only now ive grown up i can see how wrong that was, and how people just used it as an excuse to make gross shit and get away with it. Like how in Black Butler all these 'yaoi fangirls' kept erasing the rarest of rare things, a canon trans woman, because 'its sexier if its gay'. Ughhhh. And seriously that discourse still exists for poor Grell, and there's still a lot of these shitty bigoted people pretending to be allies, but like seriously this was EVERYWHERE in 2005! And lgbt rights and even lgbt communities at all were way smaller and less available to the poor teenagers who really needed that positive influence while they were figuring out who they are. So man the abusive side of yaoi fandom was WAY more powerful, and wya more.mainstream, with barely any criticism. And the whole content of this fandom was creepy fuckin adults making pedo porn, and kids who just discovered they were queer and tried to headcanon their favourote characters as being like them. Fucking predator heaven! So yeh that ruined KH for me and definately made me scared of returning to Black Butler for almost a decade. And then i found out that the manga itself has none of that pedo shit and that one of the fandom's biggest abusive gay man archetypes was actually a trans woman this entire time, and just gahhhhh....

Also like seriously this is a tad offtopic but can we kill the anime trope of either everyone looking young or everyone looking old? Or creepy things where just one character looks the wrong age in order to fetishize pedophilia? I dont think kingdom hearts was one of those intentional ones, like i mean there's super bad shit where its like 'this 5 year old looking person is really 9000 years old/actually 18 and just hasnt had their growth spurt yet' (somehow its even more insulting when theres not even a magical excuse) Or the other way around and we have a character thats canonically underage but drawn looking sexually mature with big ol knockers so its somehow okay. The existence of those horrible things is why i end up feeling uncomfortable even seeing ambiguous ages as just a trope in completely innocent anime, yknow? Like in pokemon and digimon all the 10 year old protagonists are exactly the same height as all the adults, and all the female love interests for ash have to be early bloomers in terms of chest and hips, while notably Iris is the only one who actually looks her age and also the first non love interest. Its another reason why i prefer the new art style for the latest season, they make everyone look like kids and Lillie continues to look like a kid even though she's the main girl and has all the cute scenes with Ash. The girls even got very normal looking kiddy swimsuits in the beach episode! Why is that so uncommon, to find the bare minimum thing of underage kids not being sexualized at the beach??

Soooooo yeah, thats at least part of why kid me thought axel and roxas were within a similar age range. Like i thought roxas was maybe 16 and axel was 18?? Somehow?? I dont even know, kingdom hearts isnt even SUPER bad with the 'kids look like older teens,all adults look like age 20 at the most' anime syndrome. Its probably more because id been raised on games and anime that followed that trope, before i played kh. And as a kid you just dont really know the exact differences between 'old', like i mean i knew teenagers were tall and boys get a growth spurt, so somehow it made sense to me that axel could be the same age as roxas?? And man even if i knew he wasnt, i was barely educated at all about pedophilia and i didnt know the nuances of it. I just knew 'its bad for adults to marry kids' like man i was really behind the curve in general learning due to my undiagnosed autism and abusive parenting so like HERE'S 12 YEAR OLD ME NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE SEX ASPECT. And i didnt know that adults in relationships with teenagers was bad too, or like 16/17 year old teens dating kids... I was so fuckin dumb... I really cant believe that not only did i believe stupid adults saying 'pedophilia isnt bad if you're non offending, its okay to make cartoon child porn as long as you dont physically abuse real kids' but also i somehow just DID NOT EVER REALIZE that axel was an adult and roxas wasnt even a goddamn older teen...

So yeh im making a lot of excuses for why my stupid younger self was blindly parroting bullshit, but im not trying to excuse how goddamn wrong and bad it was. I still wake up ashamed in the middle of the night for crapoy decisions i made as a dumb kid, and in terrified that some shreds of it might still exist out there on the internet and maybe someone else could read it?! Gahhhh! Seriously could i have accidentally helped spread that bullshit brainwashing to other kids? And seriously when people say this shit is harmless they just need to look at this, look at how being into problematic yaoi is such a common 'phase' for ACTUAL CHILDREN. Like its not fuckin NATURAL for kids to fall into this stuff, they do it because they dont know any better but the people making the goddamn founding blocks of the fandom are fuckin grown women fetishizing gay men or grown men fetishing lesbians. There's people who do know better who actually conciously decide that a/kurok/u is a good ship while knowing all the goddamn details of what it actually is and exactly what theyre supporting by shipping it. Ughhhhh!

So yeh fuckin Please Stay Safe In Fandom, Kids

And pedophiles have absolutely none of my sympathy, please ignore that goddamn shit i wrote as a little kid being fuckin groomed by a fandom without even knowing it.

This also applies a lot to the rest of LGBT+ aside from just gay shipping, like seriously it took me til age 18 to find any positive representation of trans people or even a proper explanation of what being trans is, yet before i was even 8 years old i'd seen a million 'lol gross man in a dress who gets sexual gratification from wearing women's underwear' jokes in kids shows. And when i was 12 i'd already been exposed to the fuckin hell of m/pre/g thanks to its prevelance of untagged n/sf/w shit in the kh fandom. And by age 15 i'd been exposed to pedophile apologists arguing whether child porn was okay if they only got off to that and didnt personally abuse that kid with their own hands. All of that shit but actually learning about homosexuality and gender in sex ed would have been 'too much' for someone my age...

God what a fuckin mess. Fuck im really really fuckin worried that any of my ignorant comments at those ages could have been read by other ignorant kids and contributed to that disgusting fandom atmosphere. Fuck i think about this so damn often im so damn ashamed of how ignorant i used to be yet i know the adult fuckfaces making pedo shit never reel one lick of shame any damn day of their life. I used to excuse their shit as an actual kid cos i just ASSUMED they would be ashamed and want to seek help! Gahhhh..