#yeah maybe they wrote it in a rush but it’s still fun and good musically

[bitfruity]

my initial reaction to ssol was that it was kinda basic and cliche but now that i’ve listened to it a couple times it’s really grown on me

i think they really wanted to make a song in english that would make everyone feel represented and to communicate that they as a band want celebrate these diversities in their fan base

this is the message they want to send to the world: peace and love yes it’s kinda basic but that doesn’t mean these concepts and messages are any less important

ngl when i first heard the lgbtq line i cringed but now after digesting it and seeing posts about how much this means to people especially coming from a slovenian band i find it really heart warming

i’m very privileged to come from a fairly progressive place and family and sometimes “basic” messages about being queer seem cringey and obvious but we all need to remember that in many places and families these things aren’t as abundantly clear or acceptable

it makes me very happy that they took the time to add an lgbtq line to the song after meeting and talking to queer fans💛

[k2ntoss]

UNTITLED N°1 !! demon dean

(gif from pinterest, credits to the owner)

tw ⭒ minors dni, SMUT, dirty talk, dean x f!reader, did i already said this is demon dean shit???? i am vibrating on another level istg, fingering (f. receiving), sex toys (vibrator), spanking, oral (m. receiving), p in v, public space, unprotected sex, etc.

a/n ⭒ ian i swear i'll hunt you down for giving me ideas EVERY FUCKING DAY and yeah, implicit the fact of the lipgloss stuff i wrote for jason but a bit different here, it's 1 am and i'm going back home from a party so prob no proof read, shhhh

words count ⭒ 2.505 (at this point i don't even dream of doing something short)

dean was changed since the last time you saw him, right before he received the mark of cain and way before he turned into a damn demon, sam and you looked for him for days until you stumbled with him outside of a night club which wasn't the best situation to find the guy who was supposed to be your boyfriend, the one that once treated you like the most important thing on his life and now only thought of you as another one night stand.

and what are you doing at a night club? well, long night and almost no sleep so you decided to take baby for a ride and maybe look for dean and here you are, standing in front of him while you fight the urge to punch him right across the face when you notice the lipstick smudges he has all over his jaw and neck "you're fucking amazing, dean" the sarcasm that drips from your voice seems to amuse him, dean grins at you with arms crossed over his chest as he walks closer "looks like you can't remember you shouldn't take the things that don't belong to you, sweetheart" he ignores your annoyance completely, walking around you with heavy steps almost as if he was a predator and you were a sick little animal to hunt and torture.

"yeah? i couldn't care less, what the hell are you doing here?" right behind the club the parking lot is almost empty, the led lights drawing shades on your bodies and the muffled music being almost completely hushed by your voice "having fun, can't a man have fun with a bunch of pretty girls? or are you getting jealous?" he has always had a smart mouth but this time his words do hurt a little but they also fuel your anger "you're being an ass, dean" words come out as a growl, avoiding his question because he already knows the answer damn well, it doesn't take humanity to understand that she loved the dean she used to know and that this dean only made her remember him but here again, he couldn't care less about your feelings right now.

"and you're being a pain in the ass, darling" he'll reply once he's in front of you, a devilish smirk on his lips at the same time he leans in making your heart rush because even with dean being a demon there was still an ounce of the man you loved and that minimal part of him still wanted you and only you, it was enough for it to take over and make you notice the glimpse of desire he had, a growing need to press his lips on yours and pin you against the impala, the same one that has already been the place for a good amount of the times you've let yourself melt into each other's touch and oh, if the evil side of dean hasn't used those memories to get off to your vulnerable image when you tremble under your lover. the way he stands so close to you, how he looks at your lips and licks his owns makes you shiver, making your lips part before he gives into your dean's needs; his lips are over yours, a bruising kiss as his hands grip your waist roughly, his touch making you moan from the pain his hands inflicted on your flesh.

once he pulled back you were panting and dean was living for that, his hand ran until it was on your neck "i think i have something in mind that you could enjoy, i miss someone misses fucking you dumb..." he whispers while tilting your head up to make you look up at him, green eyes fixed on yours made feel hypnotized until the point you walked to the passenger seat as dean got behind the steering wheel, the sigh making you even more hungry because the way he drove always made things to you. dean made the engine roar, pulling into the road until you both were sure it was safe to start anything. dean leaned to your side, his arm going behind your sit until he was able to reach a small vibrator he had used before with you, one of your road adventures from the past "are you gonna be good for me?" his voice was filled with a hint of what felt like mischief but also that cockiness that was part of him, you knew that maybe this wasn't the best idea, you should be the one driving to take dean back to the bunker but you mind was full of the bunch of memories of your boyfriend's dick deep inside of you and that was enough to make you forget any other responsability for at least a while, it had been a good long time since the last time you had any kind of sexual interaction thanks to him so, why not take the chance? so you nodded at him, lips pressed in a thin line as you waited for his next move.

there's a smirk on dean's face as he drives single handled, twisting the small vibrator between his fingers, dropping it on your thigh while you shift on your seat "sit pretty and spread those pretty legs of yours for me" he orders simply and you obey, legs spread enough for him to reach with his hand, undoing your belt and buttons before he slides two fingers under your clothes, starting to caress you slowly, torturing he plays with your clit circling over it before he pinches it softly making you moan shamelessly "fuck, dean..." you mutter when one of your hands goes to grab his wrist to make him stop when his fingers circle a bit faster "oh, you're being a little killjoy" he taunts with a click of his tongue but he takes his hand off you to grab the toy, turning it on just to slide it until he's able to press it against your sensitive bud, the vibrations making you gasp and hold onto the leather seat "just as slutty as always, aren't you? bet you've been dreaming about being fucked by me a lot lately" words making you moan and buck your hips, your eyes fixed on his movements when dean takes his hand away again, fingers coated on your wetness which he licks while glacing at you, the action only making you squirm in need of his mouth on you "and also as sweet as always, mhm, i could pull over and eat your pussy but i have other things in mind... close your legs, baby, and don't even think you can cum before i say you can."

with your legs closed the vibrator was pressed a little harder on your clit, it makes you sigh and whimper in the five eternal minutes it takes dean to find a good place to pull over, behind a small bar. he opens the door, getting to the back seat and sitting there, legs spread and his arms across the back of the seat "aren't you gonna come here, baby?" he asks teasingly, of course he was asking you to walk yourself out of the car and to the back seat, shaky legs and overstimulated, cursing him on your mind but still growing needier so when you get off the car and open the back door you can't help but bite your lip when dean is there undoing his belt and taking it off slowly with his eyes glued to you "come here and lay on my lap, sweetheart" he takes your hand in his, pulling you in taking advantage of your weak legs to make you lay on his lap, tummy flat over the seat while your hips rest over his legs when he closes the door before his hand stops on your ass, stroking you softly as he started to pull your jeans down slowly exposing your silky panties, chuckling lowly at the sight of the wet spot between your legs where the vibrator was still making you squirm and moan "so fucking wet, mhm? thought you would be harder to break down... such a easy whore" dean's voice is as rough and low as all the times you've found yourself so needy and hot for him, the big difference was that right now he was indeed a big bad wolf about to eat you alive.

every thought was erased of your head as soon as you felt his belt comming down to hit your ass, making you moan as dean's free hand snaked between your thighs to pull off the vibrator "oh, the little girl enjoys being spanked? you have a pretty sick mind, huh, you like being treated as a slut?" another spank falls on your rear, making you squirm and hold back a loud whimper before you nod "i love it... when you treat me like that" you moan, your reaction brings a wide grin to his face as he lets the leather belt fall again on your ass, the red marks of it standing over your skin as a sing of the way it would bruise by the morning, fuel for dean to keep it up until your cheeks were all red, your hips up with your ass on the air and your eyes teary from how much you needed him "god... dean, please" you beg and he growls at your voice.

"down. on your knees" he is quick to command, making you kneel on the floor, sitting all pretty and obedient between his legs as he undoes his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers making your mouth water at how hard his dick was in front of you "open that pretty mouth of yours, i want to fuck your face" the amount of dirty words turning you, leaning in you place your hands on his thighs while your tongue runs over his lenght tasting him and moaning softly at the way dean is looking at you. the growl he lets out when your lips are wrapped around his tip is gutural, his left hand going to grab a handful of your hair while you suck on him, tiny licks on him that leave your lips shiny from his precum "never thought a slut could look as pretty as you, mhm, those lips all pretty and shiny for me" he says in a low and raspy tone before he pulls your head by your hair, pressing his cock between your lips to make you swallow him right before he starts to move you, his hands making you bob your head causing you to gag and choke. your eyes are closed but it doesn't stop a few tears from falling from your eyes while dean pushes his dick into your mouth, throat fucking you between growls and moans of pure pleasure, smirking each time you gag and chuckling when he lets you pull away to breath but it doesn't take you too much until you're again looking to put his dick into your mouth "oh, baby so hungry... a needy whore that loves choking on my cock"

you whine when dean pulls you away from him, his hand grips your hair to bring you back to his lap but this time he makes you sit with your back pressed against his chest "i need to fuck that sweet pussy of yours, sweetheart, wanna see you ride me like a fucktoy" he whispers into your ear before making you lean forward, your ass perfectly pressed against him and a nice view of your hips and waist when he lifts you up and pulls your panties to the side before pushing his dick inside your snug walls in a rough thrust "so damn thight... gonna make you scream, baby" dean growls while his hands hold your waist to urge you to start moving.

at first you're just grinding your hips against his, feeling his dick moving inside of you in a way that made you moan softly but the need building inside your tummy made your movements change into quick and sloppy hops while you held yourself on the front seats, tits bouncing and your ass slapping against his body "that's a good bunny, fucking yourself on my cock like a good slut" a low moan escapes his lips and his hands are sliding under your black top, lifting the fabric until his hands are squeezing your breasts "you know how i love it when you're not wearing anything under your shirts? love this perfect tits of yours" you moan when his fingers are toying with your nipples at the same time he decides to move his hips to meet your movements, making him reach deeper inside of you.

anyone who came out of the bar sober enough could see what was going out inside of the impala, the sight of you bouncing with your eyes closed and mouth open as you moaned loudly enough to be heard if someone came closer to the car, it only turned you on more and it showed in the way your pussy clenched around dean like a vice, his strokes only going faster and harder when your legs started to fail you to keep on bouncing on him "who would have thought you would like to be seen getting fucked like a whore, mhm, you enjoy the way everyone knows you're getting dicked down so good, baby?" and you nod, your moans making it hard for you to speak properly, dean is laughing at you and it's humillating but it also makes you hornier "dean... i need to cum, please" your pleas are met with a hard squeeze on your tits and a hard thrust "really, bunny?" he asks with a smirk, hands back on your waist before he leans in to press a kiss on your back "do it, baby, cum all over my cock" and it takes you nothing, your pussy is squeezing him hard making a dark growl escape him and you're about to ask him to fill you up when dean lifts you, sitting you on his lap " 'm not filling your greedy pussy, love, not like you deserve it" he grunts, his hand around his dick as he strokes himself.

dean growls behind you, he's fisting his cock and moving his hand using your wetness to make his task easier and the lewd sounds make you eager to feel his hot load wherever he wants to put it on you "mhm, want me to cum on your dirty body, slut?" he asks with a smirk as his hand slows down for a bit "yes, please..." you say softly and it's the only thing dean needs before he cums behind you, white streaks painting your back and ass as he bites your shoulder harshly "there you go, huh... such a nasty whore" dean mutters on your neck, kissing your skin and nibbling on it "the best fuck i've had lately"

[boundbyeclipse]

devotion

genre : fluff, angst, smut

word count : 12.6k

tags : vampire!female!reader, heretic!kai, protective kai, college, some cursing, minor bullying, mentions of murder, drinking, special appearances of Kol Mikaelson and Klaus Mikaelson, might be some grammar mistakes in here.

a/n: this has been one of the hardest things to do. it took me a week to finish this and polish it. even though at first i wrote this just for myself, for fun, and i was in such a mood to write, eventually, it became something that i wanted to share with the world. but i wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for my favorite TVD writer on this platform, @so-long-soldier28 OR @so-long-soldier-writes (i didn’t know which blog of yours to tag 😭) whose talent has taken my breath away. i want to say thank you for that, you are such an inspiration and such a gifted writer. i hope that somehow, i can inspire you too. ps. 12.6k words is insane for a start.

“Alright, mom, I know-“

“Sweetheart, trust me, you don’t want to miss out on those opportunities”

“Yeah” you sighed, “I gotta go now, until later!”

“Good luck, ____”

Rolling your eyes you grabbed your bag and headed out, locking your apartment door and making your way to the elevator.

Your mom just won’t stop insisting on you going out on dates, it’s almost as if she’s rushing her own daughter into getting married. But you’re just not interested right now, you want to live your life to the fullest, party, have fun, and yes, one day you definitely will find somebody. But now? It’s all about you.

Minutes later you finally reached your destination - your favorite bar in town. This is where you and your best friend Cora decided to meet up for the evening. And there she was, sitting by the bar, chit chatting with the bartender, who in fact, was kind of your type, but seeing how he looks at her, you just push that away and let them do their thing as you sit down right next to Cora.

“I see someone’s having fun batting those eyelashes” you giggle, tilting your head at her.

“Oh, stop, it’s nothing like that”

You roll your eyes and then look at the bartender.

“One tequila sunrise, please” you order and turn your attention back to your best friend.

“So, how’s it going with your mom? Still onto the boyfriend-hunt drama?”

“Yup, still telling me how I should not miss out on opportunities if anyone asks me out, blah blah blah. You know her”

She giggles, taking a sip of her mojito cocktail and sighing.

“Well, you know, maybe she’s right”

“What? No, Cora, I just want to live, okay?” you frown and protest at her immediately. But it doesn’t seem to phase her at all.

“Oh, come on! All of us girlies have someone, well, of course I’m still working on it BUT, how do you find it fun being single?”

“Trust me, I enjoy my own company just enough” you chuckle and thank the bartender as he hands you your drink.

Quite a few hours pass and you are on the dance floor, swaying your hips to the rhythm together with your bestie, music loud and mind a little dizzy from the alcohol that you’ve consumed. Everything is fine until your eyes find someone familiar in the crowd. As he turns sideways to pass through the people, you get the confirmation that it is someone you actually do know.

“Kai Parker” you whisper under your nose, your body stops moving too, and when Cora notices, she grabs you by the shoulders.

“Hey, what’s wrong?!” she shouts over the music.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I just feel a bit dizzy!” you reply, faking a smile. You two continue to dance, but your eyes just wouldn’t stop glancing over at the bar where Kai now sat. As much as you wanted to get out of here, you weren’t going to do so, not even if someone you secretly like is so near.

Someone you like? Yes. It’s crazy, but Kai Parker is your biggest crush. Nobody knows about how much you’re head over heels for him, despite of him being an asshole and knowing what he has done in the past. But right after Luke’s merged with him, he started to change. Even though you didn’t know the old Kai, you did see the good in him somehow. But you told no one, because every single person in this town despised him for all that happened in the past. Even your own mother hated him. But nobody actually seemed to acknowledge the fact that this guy has guilt eating him up every day and night for all that he’s done. Everyone still believes he’s the same old sociopath that he always was. Except you. That is why Kai has been your secret for quite a while now.

Unbeknownst to you, Cora has disappeared into the crowd somewhere while you were daydreaming about him, so deeply that everything around you just felt non-existent. Your heart was beating fast as you still managed to keep dancing, until you felt someone’s hands around your waist.

“Nice moves, you can really dance” it was just some random dude that reeked of beer and you couldn’t stand it, you did not want him touching you or speaking to you.

“Thanks, but I think you should go find someone else to dance with”

“Nah, I think I’ll stick to this pretty girl right here”

Your mood changed completely and you shoved him off of yourself, frowning as you puckered your lips at him.

“I said go find someone else!”

That’s when people started noticing there was something going on, but it was just a few of them, they were drunk, so they just moved away.

“Great, people these days” you muttered, trying to leave as you turned around. But once again, that guy just wasn’t anywhere near ready to give up on you.

“I don’t see anybody else I like in here. You really seem special, darling”

You rolled your eyes at him as he held you by your wrists now, your face super close to his.

“I am not your darling” you said through your teeth and he just giggled, beginning to lean in closer to your lips, which made your eyes fill with tears of fear.

“Let go-“

“Let go of her. Now” you heard a familiar voice coming from behind you, and the man grabbed the guy by the throat as he finally let go of you.

“Get your fucking disgusting barely-haired head out of here before I guide you out myself”

Kai. What is he doing?

“Oh, my apologies, didn’t know you’d leave your girlfriend to dance alone like that. Dick move” the guy laughed in Kai’s face which really pissed him off. His irises enlarged with rage.

“First of all, if she was my girl, I surely wouldn’t let her dance alone. Second of all, when a woman says no, it means NO. Unless you wish to have your oh, so heartless heart ripped out of your chest in front of everyone”

“Kai-“ you tried to interrupt in fear of a possible fight incoming, but he only raised his hand in the air and turned his head to the side, telling you he’s got this.

“Wow, I feel threatened!” the guy acted like whatever Kai said, scared him off. But he just wasn’t going to give up. Doesn’t he know who Kai Parker is? Or does he not fear him at all?

“Oh, I’m not threatening you, I’m just saying what’s a hundred percent going to happen if you don’t apologise and get the hell outta here right now”

“Got nothing to apologise for, she looks really nice. Maybe I should buy her a drink?”

God, this guy just won’t back down.

“What’s going on?!” Cora suddenly ran up to you, grabbing your forearm in fear and confusion.

“That dude just tried to… I don’t even know what he tried to do to me but… Well, you see”

She shook her head and darted her eyes at the two males in front of you.

“Kai is defending you? A sociop-“

“Shush, Cora, he’s got this” you said without thinking, and it made your best friend question this entire situation in front of her eyes.

“One last chance, dumbass, or you’re done for good” Kai raised his voice more and now the whole bar was watching them. Not even the best music blasting through the speakers could make them bust a move.

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your stupid little threats, boy. You’re skinny and weak, got nothing at all on me. I bet she would like a taste of me better, anyways” he looked at you over Kai’s shoulder, a creepy smirk across his face.

“Oh no” you whispered when you saw Kai raise his hand, about to use magic on the guy.

“Motus” Kai chanted angrily and everyone watched the guy fly and hit the wall, his body then dropping to the ground as he groaned loudly. You gasped and covered your mouth in shock. Whatever was going through Kai’s mind, it wasn’t anything promising and it scared you. Yet, you still trusted him.

“He’s going to kill him!” Cora yelled out, but you kept on shaking your head no, because you knew that the old Kai is gone, or at least a part of him is, and that nobody’s going to get killed here tonight. No matter how disgusting of a behavior was shown towards you. Not on your terms.

Kai walked up to that guy with a quick pace, kneeled down and grabbed him by his collar.

“Now, tell me, do you still think I’m weak?”

The male could barely make a sound, but he still managed to speak up. And it still wasn’t what you, Cora, other people or Kai wanted to hear.

“Y-yeah, magic doesn’t… mean… anything” his nose bled, beads of sweat formed on the forehead.

“You’re damn wrong!” Kai yelled and placed his hands on both sides of that man’s head, the color of orange intensifying under his palms as he chanted some kind of a spell to make the other male suffer.

“Kai! No!” you broke free from Cora’s grip and ran to Kai, grabbing his wrists and crying as you begged him to stop. You really didn’t want to see Kai Parker as his old self - the careless, emotionless psychopath who did not feel any empathy for others. The one who could kill anyone and just laugh about it. The one who could spill another persons blood and absolutely thrive off of the sight of it on his own hands.

You yelled through tears again as no reaction from Kai was given.

“You’ll kill him! Kai!” you shook his wrists, “That’s not who you are!”

Right then and there, he snapped back and let that guy go, looking at you with entirely different eyes than they were mere seconds ago. They were glossy and his pupils were dilated, as if he did something so bad that his father was going to send him back to the prison world for an eternity.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m… so sorry” he said, taking a few steps back before he rushed outside. You ran back to Cora and grabbed her face.

“Listen, love, I need you to get out of here now. Call a taxi, go home, please”

“I am not leaving you!” she grabbed your wrists, squeezing them.

“Please, Cora, just go! I’ll deal with Kai, alright?”

She shook her head in disbelief and ripped her hands off of you.

“So you’re choosing that psychotic son of a bitch over me? Your closest and the only friend?! Fine. Go ahead. Go say thank you to a guy who killed most of this town just half a year ago”

“Cora-“ you tried to talk to her but she was gone before you could blink, making use of her vampire powers to disappear quickly. You wanted to catch up to her, but you knew it wouldn’t do any good.

You chose go to and compel the gross man who tried to get you all to himself. It is better if he doesn’t remember any of this or else, he will come back looking for Kai. And probably you too.

You ran out of the bar right after, searching for Kai, but had no luck because he is probably already back home now, which only leaves you with the option of getting back to your own. Only that you wanted to take a walk instead of getting dropped off by a taxi. Everything that happened was too much and fresh air was the only thing that could help you ease your mind.

You tried calling Cora multiple times, even left a voicemail, but she didn’t answer. You felt so bad for everything that happened tonight, it was just eating you up. You kept blaming yourself even though you knew none of this was caused by you. Still. It happened because of you. But what Kai did was unbelievable. It wasn’t anything you’d ever expect from him. He’s never spoken that much to you except for a small talk, nor did he know about your feelings for him. You both simply were just going to the same college. So why was he even protecting you? And how did he end up at the same bar you were at? All of this just seems very strange. Too many questions in the book.

As you were nearing your apartment, you took your keys and unlocked the door, closing and locking it behind you as you slowly shut your eyes and felt salty tears roll down your cheeks. Everything left you overwhelmed and you couldn’t help but let it out. It did hurt you that no one could see the good in him, no one understood what he went through, and no one was even willing to do so. It hurt you because if someone found out about how you feel towards him, they would turn against you too. You were lost. You were confused.

Why, Kai Parker, why?

____

A week has gone by and Cora hasn’t talked to you ever since that incident at the bar. None of your texts were answered, neither calls or voicemails. In fact, you haven’t talked to anyone you knew. It was only two people after all.

Cora must have told your mom about it all too. She didn’t speak to you either. You feared that you were not going to see them ever again.

Kai didn’t show up at classes too. It was so hard having nobody to talk to, and the only thing that occupied your mind was college. It was keeping you somewhat together. Or at least you tried to convince yourself that it was.

“Oh, look, it’s the Kai Parker girl” some girls whispered as you walked past them after class was done. It didn’t even seem like they cared about you being a vampire and having supernatural abilities like extremely good hearing. It got on your nerves really badly, but you decided to just ignore it. Not until you stepped out of the building and saw another group of students gossiping about something. Well. It’s just always going to be like that, isn’t it?

“I cannot believe that crazy dude literally stood up for her. Or he pretended to do so. Or… maybe he was just trying to show off with his little magical superpowers” one of them said, mocking Kai’s hand movements when he casts the spells.

“I bet he’s going to kill her real soon too. And she’s not even close to avoiding that cold blooded murderer. Maybe she would like to get killed by him after all” a guy said and the whole group laughed in sync.

That was the bottom line for you.

“Quit blabbering before I snap all of your necks off! You know nothing about me or Kai Parker. One more word and you’ll find yourselves trying to get wood splinters out of your asses” you said out of rage, the veins under your eyes popping up altogether with the eye whites turning red.

You quickly walked away and sat in your car, turning the engine on and speeding off home. The grip on the steering wheel was so strong that you could break it at any given moment. You’ve heard enough.

When you parked your car in the parking lot and got out of it, your eyes unexpectedly met with no one other’s than Kai’s. You thought your eyes were deceiving you, so you blinked a few times. But in fact, he actually was here.

“Kai?” you shut the door and he approached you with slow steps, hands in pockets and head hung low before he looked up when he stood right in front of you.

“Yes, it’s me. Don’t even ask why I came here. It just happened. And when I realised I’m standing in front of your home, I also realised I owe you an apology and an explanation”

You stood there, lips pressed together as you tried to process what was happening. You shook your head in order to not zone out.

“Just tell me. Everything”

“Listen, I know it’s strange, but… I’ve been having this weird feeling lately and I cannot seem to shake it off. Before you went to that bar… God, I’m so stupid… I actually had someone sit at the bar who followed you and found out about your whereabouts and told me everything. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I’m a stalker or a psychopath as they call me, well… Maybe I still a little bit am… It’s complicated. Um, it’s because I had a very bad dream about you and… In it, you died because I chose to drive past that same bar you were in that night. And when I woke up my head was ringing and I just had this feeling that something bad was going to happen”

You stood there not able to understand how he could do this. Have someone follow you? Someone to give him information where you’re going, and who you’re with? It just doesn’t seem right.

Looks like he still does have a sprinkle of a sociopath left somewhere in him.

“I’m sorry, Kai, but what?! What the hell were you thinking? You could have just simply warned me about your freaking crazy dream and told me to not go?! Or at least offer me company once you stepped inside Mystic Grills?”

“You would not have believed me!” he insisted.

“Okay, maybe I wouldn’t have but you could at least have tried! We go to the same college, it’s not like you’re a stranger to me. Look, people are gossiping about you and I a lot already and I was oh, so damn close to snapping their necks today! How am I supposed to put up with this shit, huh? My best friend AND my mother haven’t spoken to me all week! I’m all alone because of you!” your voice rang through the parking lot as you yelled in his face. Kai shook his head.

“No! It’s because they still believe I am the same old Kai Parker who kills without mercy, without empathy, with no emotions in me at all! That is not who I am. All those people… They have no idea how I feel. They don’t know. They don’t even care to think about the possibility of me being good. And I’m so sorry, I only did what I had to do just to keep you safe! God knows what could have happened to you!” Kai spoke and his voice began to break with the flood of emotions, but he swallowed thickly to regain himself, “Don’t you want everybody to try and trust me at least a tiny bit? Don’t you want your best friend and mother to speak differently of me? I can see that you trust me, ____, so why doubt me and switch lanes now after I saved you?”

Tears started to fall down your face as you listened to him, your heart tearing apart because of your feelings for him but also for what he has done. You just didn’t know what to say. A part of you wanted to just run inside your apartment and hide from him, but the other part of you kept telling you to stay and talk about this.

“Say something… Please” he whispered the last word. You closed your eyes for a second before they met his blue ones once again.

“Why did you protect me?”

He took your hands in his and held them tightly. You couldn’t lie to yourself in this moment, it somewhat felt so good, his hands were so soft, warm, and most importantly, you felt… safe.

“Probably because my human feelings are catching up to me really badly and I care about you. A lot”

You could feel your lip quivering in this moment, along with your own fast paced heartbeat that rang in your ears. Hell, you also could hear how Kai’s poor heart was banging, fighting to not jump out of his chest.

“Kai… But why do you care about me?”

He went silent for a moment, looking down and collecting himself before he spoke again. But this time, he spoke very quietly. Almost as if he was scared to say a word. Really scared.

“Because… I like you, ____”

The way your heart dropped in this moment was a feeling you’ve never felt before. It was so strong that it drowned out any other noises around you. You couldn’t hear anything anymore but your own heart that was thumping even harder and faster now. The way your legs went numb, the way heat flushed your entire face and the way your hands shook was nothing like you have ever experienced in your life. Did Kai Parker actually just confess to you?

Yes. Yes, he did.

“You… You like me?..”

He nodded and tilted his head slightly, his thumbs rubbing your hands soothingly.

“Kai… I like you too. But…”

His eyes lit up when you confessed. The sparkle he had in them reminded you of the galaxy that held millions of stars in it.

“But what, sweetheart?”

“If my mother finds out…”

He cleared his throat and sighed.

“I know. But listen… If we could work together, we could show everybody that I have changed. We could prove them wrong, make them believe that the Kai they knew is no longer a threat because he’s become good”

“I know, but, Kai… She’s my mom. She’s going to protest and give me one hell of a lecture if I tell her. And Cora, oh god, she’s my only friend… What if they turn on me? What if I lose them because I decided to choose to get close to you?”

“No. They won’t. Please, let me try. I’ll try my best, I’ll even make cupcakes for them!”

You licked your lips as you chuckled lightly at his food offer, and took a deep breath. You lightly grabbed Kai by the forearms and squeezed them.

“Fine. But if they leave me, I will never forgive you despite of how I feel about you. They’re the only family I’ve got left”

He nodded desperately.

“I will do everything to prove them wrong. I promise”

“I choose to believe you. Don’t mess up, Kai” you said and gave him a small smile as you let go of him and walked inside the apartment complex.

_____

Another week has passed, Kai started showing up at classes, your best friend has finally reached out and your mom finally called you to apologise. Surely, you still haven’t told them about your and Kai’s conversation from that evening in the parking lot. You’re still afraid of their reactions, but if you must, you’ll tell them. It cannot be hidden for much longer.

Everything seemed to be falling back into place, despite of all the stares people gave you and Kai, seeing how you two always talk and giggle during the breaks, go to eat lunch under the tree outside, share the same cup of coffee and give each other light smacks on the shoulders as one of you made jokes. But somehow, you didn’t care anymore. You knew that whatever the situation, they will do it regardless and try to ruin your life, but you aren’t the one to back down. You want to fight for Kai. You want to fight for the truth.

“I’m so glad the classes are over” you said with a sigh of relief, throwing your bag over the shoulder as Kai walked you out of the classroom.

“Do you want to grab a coffee or something to eat? Orrrr a drink?” he offered and you debated for a second whether to go or not, since you and Cora made plans to meet later.

“Oh. I’d really love to. But Cora is going to wait for me at the cafe, so I think we could do this in the evening? After me and her have a little girl talk. You know I cannot refuse to miss out on a drink with you on a Friday night”

Kai smiled at you, putting his hands inside the pockets of his dark grey jeans.

“Sure, sounds good to me. I hope you two have a wonderful time and I don’t become your main topic”

The smirk on his face and the eyebrow wiggle gave it away that he was teasing you, and there was nothing left to do but to push him and laugh about it.

“Oh, shut up”

“Text me when to get to your place” he said as he spread his arms and pulled you into a hug. You then both parted ways and you headed to the cafe to see your friend.

The moment you stepped inside the cafe, your eyes met Cora’s, a smile on her face that you missed so much over the time. She gave you a warm hug and told you that she already got you your coffee. She’s just the sweetest.

“You didn’t have to” you smiled as you sat down, placing your bag on the empty space next to you.

“Shh. I owe you” she smiled, “So, how’s college?”

“It’s okay, I do get tired and annoyed but I’m pushing through. Assignments have ‘ass’ in them for a reason after all”

Cora laughed at your little joke, but her smile quickly faded and she tilted her head in question.

“Hey, ____, you seem… A bit different”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Hm? What do you mean by different?”

“Happier? You’re just glowing”

You chuckled and tucked your hair behind the ear, taking a sip of the drink. You had to quickly come up with a fake explanation, as if Kai didn’t hug you earlier and it didn’t make you all giddy.

“Maybe because… You came back and mom did too. I was just afraid you both would leave me all alone and never come back. It was terrifying”

“Oh, no, no. I was just overreacting after that night. Was a bit buzzed too. It’s all fine now. So, did you manage to catch Kai and thank him?”

You nodded.

“Well… No. At least not on the same night. He actually showed up at my parking lot the other day and… We talked about it”

Cora shifted in her seat and placed her elbows on the table. You could tell from her face, she wasn’t too pleased with it.

“And what did he say?”

You huffed. Here it goes.

“He said that he’s been having some sort of nightmares that are almost like, I don’t know, warnings? And they’re about me. That’s why he was at that bar that night. I know, sounds unrealistic, crazy, problematic, stupid… You name it. I didn’t want to believe him at first either”

She frowned.

“Nightmares?” she laughed, “god, this man is so silly”

“Cora” you shot her a serious look.

“Sweetie, he was on the verge of killing that guy” she whispered.

“But he didn’t. When I stepped in, his face changed completely. I snapped him out of it”

“So, you actually think he’s changed? Or is changing?”

You nodded, looking out the window and remembering his little sweet confession to you.

“Yes”

“Are you like, in love or something? This whole different you is making me question everything. Did something happen between you two? Anything I don’t know of that could knock me off of this seat?”

You smiled, rubbing the edges of the cup with the pads of your fingers.

“No, nothing happened. We only spoke. He’s also returned to classes and he’s the only one who’s been keeping me company on breaks. I don’t have to feel unwanted there by everybody no more. He makes the day better”

She only raised her eyebrows and sipped the coffee, sitting in silence for a minute. Cora looked pretty much pissed.

“If it makes you happy” she said with no emotions in her voice.

“Cora, I-“

“I need to get home. I’m hungry. Plus, I have to walk my dogs”

“You could get something here”

“No, no, ____. Not the food-kind hungry” she whispered to you as she got up and grabbed the coffee cup on her way out.

Closing your eyes, you could tell how much Cora was against Kai. Even after you told her what happened. How can you make everyone believe in him? He has been trying to prove them wrong but people just seem to stick to their same old beliefs. It’s a tough cookie to crack, but you’re very sure that soon things will change. You just need a little bit more time. And you know that it’s not going to be easy, but you are more than ready to put up a fight.

_____

When Kai saw you come out of the apartment complex, he was left absolutely speechless. The black satin dress you wore made him feel a clutch in his stomach, a feeling that was new to him, something that made him wonder if this reaction is positive or negative. But when he realised he thought in his mind that you looked jaw dropping, Kai knew it was one hell of a positive emotion. The jewelry you wore brought your eyes out, and the way your hair was done reminded him of a goddess. And indeed, you were one.

“Wow” he whispered under his breath as you approached him. He didn’t look too bad himself : a white shirt combined with a black jacket, a pair of charcoal jeans with black boots was just enough to make your heart pound. If you think about it, he didn’t really wear anything too fancy, yet, it had such an effect on you. Plus, the silver rings on his fingers. Now that could make you trip and fall if you stared for too long.

“Hey” you smiled, biting your lip as you felt all shy because of how good Kai looked.

You both stood there in silence for a moment, Kai’s mouth open, but no words coming out yet.

You giggled.

“Hm, Kai?”

“Hey, you look… Insanely beautiful” he barely got these words out. Never has he ever seen a woman this pretty in a dress. Not that you’re not beautiful in your usual everyday clothes, but this dress just hugs your curves so well that it’s hard to believe you’re real.

“Thank you. You look super handsome. You should wear black jackets more often”

“Thank you. If I knew you’d be dressed this fancy I would’ve digged a tuxedo outta my closet”

The both of you exchanged laughter before silence stood between you both once again.

“Um…”

“Yeah, uh, let’s go to the Mystic Grill” Kai smiled awkwardly and digged his hands in his pockets. It’s actually adorable, at least in your opinion. Well, not like anyone else’s opinion matters at this point. He’s dressed up for you, no one else.

The walk to the Mystic Grill didn’t take too long, considering it’s only a few minutes away from you. As soon as you walked inside you both took a seat in front of the bar, ordering yourselves some drinks. The place was pretty crowded, some nice calm music was playing in the background, chatter between people mixed in with the melodies. You loved it here.

“Did I tell you that you look so damn handsome yet?” you smiled at Kai, placing your elbow on the hard wood and resting your jaw into your palm.

“Heck, you could tell me that as many times as you want” he chuckled and licked his lips.

The bartender came with the drinks and placed them in front of you.

“Here are your drinks. By the way, you, young lady, look gorgeous” and he also sent you a wink.

“Oh, thank you” you gave him a kind smile and took a sip of the cocktail.

“Looks like I’m gonna have to deal with that again” Kai said as he drank his shot in one go. You frowned and chuckled.

“Ah, come on. Relax. I’m here with you, not for anyone to flirt with me and snatch me away. And that was just a compliment, poeple do that when they see someone attractive. Out of kindness”

Kai shrugged his shoulders and sighed, ordering another shot of bourbon.

“Kai?”

“Mhm?” he responded, but with no eye contact this time.

“Look at me”

He turned his head at you.

“Yes?”

“If you think I’m going to let random guys flirt with me, you’re wrong. If I say thank you it doesn’t mean I’m flirting back. Chill”

“Okay, okay. Sorry, sweets” he smiled.

You smiled back and took another sip of your drink.

A few hours passed by and both of you were pretty tipsy, but not wasted, so you both decided to go outside to get some fresh air. You leaned against the cold wall and just stared at Kai without saying a single word. God, he looks so hot right now, you found it hard to believe this man was actually real. A little bit of facial hair made him look ever more manly and sexy, and the two buttons of his white shirt undone just took your mind elsewhere. The urge to kiss him was so bad that you could barely fight it back.

“What?” he smirked, cocking his head to the side.

“You know, I just cannot help but wonder if there’s another female thirsting over you right now”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw a couple of girls staring at you back there” you smiled, nodding your head at the bar.

“Oh, look who’s being an overthinker now”

“Just saying”

Kai then stepped closer to you, brushing a strand of hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. He kind of stumbles, but recovers fast, just laughing it off knowing it’s the alcohol to blame. Or maybe it’s you playing a part in this, too. He’s mesmerized by your beauty, he cannot help it but let his eyes wander down to your lips, then back to your eyes. Every single part of his body is fighting back the urge to do something ; he doesn’t know what that even is. He just wants to get closer and lay his lips on yours. And there goes the clutch in his stomach again, just like earlier when he first saw you in that dress.

“You look so pretty” he says quietly, but loud enough for you to hear.

“You look so handsome” you say back, placing your palms on his chest. His heart is beating so quickly, but so is yours. But somehow, you still cannot find the courage inside to lean in and kiss him.

“I think we need more drinks” you say and he nods, placing a hand around your waist as he walks you back inside the bar. The way his hand held you so firmly made you feel thousands of emotions at once, you felt so good, so alive, and so safe that you wished this feeling never ended. No one has ever made you feel this way. You did not want to lose Kai. At all.

After you both had more drinks, the bartender just kept on shooting glances at you, throwing a smile, a wink, and a compliment after a compliment. At this point, Kai was beginning to feel some kind of an emotion that he didn’t know what it was. He wanted to absolutely smack the heck out of that bartender but at the same time to hold back and simply show you’re his date non-verbally. And so he chose the latter.

His hand found its way on your thigh, rubbing it slightly. He watched as your eyes widened and your lips parted, wanting to say something, to comment on his move.

“Should I even ask why you’re doing this right now?”

“No” he shook his head, eyes like glass and cheeks with a slight tint of red, his lips forming into a small smile.

“Jealousy” you said, placing your hand atop of his that rested on your thigh.

Kai frowned.

“Is that what I’m feeling?”

“Yes, dork. You’re being jealous that he’s flirting with me. But don’t worry, as I told you already, I have zero interest in flirting back”

“Then the hundred’s on me?”

“Absolutely” you nodded and finished your drink. Kai gave you a slight smirk as his eyes found the floor. His head hung low, but the next song that came on made him look back up, straight into your eyes.

“Come dance with me” he said.

“Always a yes” you replied and let him grab your hand, leading you to the dancefloor that was built for the weekend at this bar.

At first, both of you hesitated to do anything, but eventually, Kai’s hands found their way around your waist. You rested your forearms around his neck, the skinship making you melt inside. Your faces were just inches away, and the temptation was growing within seconds. Your eyes were running back and forth between Kai’s eyes and lips, and so did his. His hands slowly rocked your hips to the rhythm now, unbeknownst to him it wasn’t your waist anymore. It just happened naturally, and you knew that this is the Kai Parker that people should know. Gentle, a little jealous, protective, funny, a little lost, but working his way through. Seeing him like this made you so happy. He was breaking out of his shell.

“Kai”

“Yes, baby?”

Baby. He just called you baby. You could not believe the word that just left his mouth.

“Baby…” you bit your lip, “can I just say that you are doing so well? You’re doing so much better everyday, you’ve shown me how great of a man you really are. I’m so, so, so proud of you, Malachai”

“That… name” he suddenly broke the eye contact, but his hands still remained where they were.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

“Shut up” he whispered and leaned in closer, kissing you gently but with so much passion that you couldn’t tell if all of this was real and wasn’t just some hungover dream. His grip on you tightened and your fingers found their way into the back of his hair, tugging on it slightly as your tongues danced together. The euphoria you felt in this moment is one to remember. His lips felt so soft, warm, and the taste of bourbon lingering on them only made you more dizzy, but in a good way.

“I love it” he murmurs as he pulls away, letting you know that you have the permission to say his full name without making him feel any negative emotions. You said it unconciously, it just slipped out. But now, knowing that Kai actually accepts it, your heart and soul are at peace.

“Say it again” he dared you.

“Malachai”

“Fuck” he hissed before his lips met yours again, this time the kiss becoming more aggressive and intense. You couldn’t help but get lost in the feeling, it felt like paradise. You swore you melted into the kiss and lost yourself in it for a moment. But only for a moment.

The bar was about to close.

“Hey, lovebirds, we’re about to close” the bartender announced, ripping you two apart.

“Oh, shit. We gotta go” you said, grabbing Kai’s hand and intertwining your fingers, leading him out as you said goodbye to the bartender.

“Did we just really spend the whole night here drinking?” Kai asked as you two walked down the street.

“Yes. Well, not just drinking”

“And dancing”

“And making out” you added in the end.

“That… Yeah” Kai smiled to himself, and looked down at your intertwined hands.

“How-“

“That’s what couples do. They hold hands like that, Kai” you smiled at him, swinging the locked pair of hands.

“Ah… Couples?”

You swallowed thickly.

“Yeah. Couples. People who are in relationships”

“Rela- No, forget it. I’ve consumed a bit too much of alcohol. Leave this explanation for another day”

You chuckled and wrapped your other hand around his bicep.

“Okay”

_____

You were paying a visit to your mom, helping her with painting the kitchen walls, since she’s decided to renew her house a little bit. She was cheerful, happy to see you back home where you grew up. You couldn’t hide the excitement either, the nostalgia washed over you the second you pulled up to the house. You spent twenty years here, so many memories left behind that you’ll cherish forever. Sure there were things that didn’t go well, she tried to protect you from getting turned, got hurt in the process and barely made it, but she lived. She knew how hard it would be for you to live as a vampire, she didn’t want it, neither for you, nor for herself. Yet, it happened. That one night she nearly lost her life, she watched her daughter get bit and killed, and it left her powerless and weak against none other than Kol Mikaelson. He was evil. You didn’t know exactly why he targeted your family, but he did what he wanted to do. Partly. Because someone came to rescue just on time to save your mom from getting bitten too.

Thankfully, when his brother Klaus found out about Kol’s dirty work, he kicked his ass real bad and you haven’t seen any of the originals return to town ever since. It’s even better if Kol’s no longer roaming this earth anymore, but you can’t really be sure about that.

You’ll never forget nor forget that night of horror. You’ll never forgive Kol.

But you’ll never know who saved your mother from death.

“Darling, you should rest for a little. Sit down, here’s some tea for you” your mom patted your shoulder, a white cup in her hand.

“Thank you” you smiled, taking a seat in the living room, sipping the tea she’s made.

“I heard from Cora you’ve been seeing someone” your mom gave you a look of curiosity.

Your eyes widened in fear. Did she tell your mom about Kai? Heck, hopefully she didn’t say it was him.

“Um, yeah, kind of”

“So who’s the lucky man?” she gave you a warm smile, sitting next you.

“Mom” you giggled, “we’re not that serious” you tried your best to talk about it, knowing what the outcome could be. Though you did want her to know and at least try to understand.

“Oh, come on, ____, spill the beans! I’m more than happy to hear about it all”

“Well… We go to the same college, and since no one else talks to me there, he’s the only one who does. My time there passes by with good emotions, because I know that on every break, he’ll find me and chat with me”

She pouted, grabbing your hand and rubbing it soothingly.

“I’m so glad to hear that, honey. Is he the same age as you?”

“It’s uh… We are a couple of years apart”

In this moment you prayed she didn’t catch on. That’s if she knows Kai’s age, because most people do.

“Not so much” she nodded, “Is he good to you?”

Your heart sank, and you looked at her with the happiest smile on your face.

“He’s very good to me”

“Is he also one of you?”

“No. Well, he’s also a part of the supernatural” now, you really knew that this could be an easy giveaway.

“Is he a werewolf?”

“He’s um” you bit your lip, “a witch” you quickly redeemed yourself in hopes of escaping the awkwardness. You knew Kai was a heretic, not just a simple witch.

“Oh wow, well, at least he’s not one of those people who hate the supernaturals. Imagine he was a human and found out and then ran away”

You giggled.

“I know. Would be a disaster”

“Describe him to me, I really want to know what your love interest looks like”

She just keeps asking more and more. This could end up so badly if she comes to the main point. But you felt ready, no matter how much it scared you. She’ll know sooner or later anyway, right?

“He’s tall, really handsome, like, super handsome,” you chuckled, cheeks turning red with blush, “he’s got dark brown hair, ocean blue eyes. And his smile, mom, it’s magical”

She giggled, squeezing your hand with excitement.

“He must be really good looking to have you talk like this. What’s his name?”

Oh no.

You hesitated for a second, but deep down you knew it’s now or never. You opened your mouth to speak, his name almost escaping your lips, but it didn’t. Your phone that was right in front of you both on the table, began ringing.

His name was on display. And your mom saw it. Her hand immediately left yours.

“Don’t tell me-“

“Mom, please”

“Why do you have Kai Parker’s number?”

You pressed your lips together and grabbed your phone to answer, dodging your mom’s question.

“Hey” you said.

“Hi, love”

“Speaker. Now” your mom mouthed to you, and you had no other choice but to listen. You put Kai on speaker, letting him know your mom is here right next to you.

“Hi, Ms. _____” he greeted.

“Kai Parker. Hello. What’s your business with my daughter?”

You shook your head in disbelief. This isn’t going well.

“She’s very lovely. And she’s helping me a lot, dare I say, she’s brought feelings out of me that I’ve never felt before. I need to say thank you for having such a wonderful daughter”

Your mom sighed.

“He’s going to hurt you, ____”

“No, mom. He won’t. How many times we’ve talked and went out, he hasn’t laid a single finger on me. He even protected me one night at the bar when some dude tried coming up on me”

She frowned. You couldn’t understand what she was thinking. Was she mad? Was she trying to understand?

“I actually did” Kai added.

“I still cannot trust you, Malachai”

Did she just?..

“Mom-“

“It’s okay, ____” he spoke from the other line.

“If you hurt her, I will make sure you return to the prison world, but this time, with no loopholes or chances to come back. Mark that in your book” your mom said and took your phone, pressing the red button to end the call.

You didn’t realise but you were crying. The salty tears ran down your cheeks and dripped down on your legs.

“Listen. He’s a sociopath. Do you really think I can trust him after all he’s done? He’s danger to you, dear”

You shook your head no.

“If you don’t trust him, then at least trust me! Trust in me that I’m changing him for good! I fell for him because deep down, I knew there’s good in him, mom. And it sucks so damn much that nobody understands me, it hurts me to the bone that I have to fight so hard to show everyone that Kai is worth a second chance!” you spoke through your tears, anger taking over you to the point the cup in your hands started to crack and eventually broke.

“For you, I’ll try. I’ll really try, honey. I just don’t want to see you hurt and in pain. But keep in your mind that one wrong step and I’ll make sure he’s not coming back”

“He’s staying” you said strictly, running off to your childhood bedroom. You cried hard into the pillow for what felt like an eternity. It was so hard to pull yourself together. You wanted nothing more than to have Kai in your arms right now, tell him how much you care and how much you’re willing to try to prove everybody that he’s not evil anymore. Because he isn’t.

You heard your room door creak as your mom came inside, your phone in her hand.

“Hey. Kai has called you ten times already. I think you should call back” she said calmly as she placed your phone on the nightstand. You didn’t answer, laying curled up in a ball, begging for her to leave your room in your head.

As soon as she did, you took your phone and called Kai back.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he asked as soon as he picked up.

“Hey. We argued… She still doesn’t trust you. But she said she’ll try for me”

“It’s alright. It’ll take time”

“I just wish she knew how happy you make me and how good you really are. It breaks my heart, Kai, I really don’t want you to go back to prison world”

He smiled, even though you couldn’t see it.

“I won’t. I promise you I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere”

“Good. Because if you’re gone, I won’t be able to keep going”

“Shhh. I told you, I’m not leaving you. We’re both in this, okay? Together”

“Okay. Both you and me” you finally smiled.

“By the way, text me your mom’s adress”

“Hm? Why?”

He chuckles.

“Cupcakes, remember?”

“Oh!” you giggled, “Alright, will do”

_____

The other day, Kai made some cupcakes and delivered them at your mom’s doorstep. Though he himself decided to leave as soon as he put the box down on he mat. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to randomly show up unnanounced and alone. It’s better if he meets her with you by his side.

Your mom opened the door, but nobody was in sight, and as soon as she was about to close it, her eyes fell on the little box. She questioned it, but picked it up and brought it inside. Opening it, she found a little note along with cupcakes that looked super delicious. At first she thought it might have been you, or Cora, but once the note was flipped over to be read, the handwriting wasn’t anyone’s that she knows.

The note read :

Hi, Ms. _____. Consider this a little gift for you before I meet you eye to eye. I hope you like them. Kai Parker.

She furrowed her eyebrows, but they slowly went back to their usual position and her mouth curved into a small smile.

“Do you think she’s going to accept them?”

“I know she will. There’s a small hope I have that she’s going to start building trust for you”

Kai smiled as his hands rested on your hips while you sat on the kitchen counter.

You decided to invite him to your apartment for the night. Wanting to spend some time alone with him gave you the idea to do this. You wanted no interruptions, no people to give you stares, no one to bother your sweet time together.

“Hey, don’t you think it would be nice if we went to the town party?” Kai asked, his hand finding its way to cup your cheek.

“I thought you were the one who refused?”

He huffed.

“Well, I changed my mind. Take it as a challenge - anyone dares to threaten you, I won’t do anything stupid except shoot them a death stare and simply carry on to party with you”

“And you don’t mind my mom and best friend being there?”

He shook his head as he gently stroked your cheek.

“I think it’s the perfect opportunity to prove myself”

“Then I think we should definitely go” you leaned into his palm, wrapping your hand around his forearm, your thumb dancing back and forth on his skin.

“And the perfect opportunity for me to throw my black tuxedo on” he added, making you blush like crazy. You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t start. I might faint even at the thought of it”

“Can’t wait to catch you falling tomorrow, then” Kai leaned in and pressed his lips against yours in a slow but full of love kiss. Everytime he kissed you, you felt butterflies go nuts in your stomach, every part of your body felt electrified.

“Sweetheart, you’re shaking”

“Oh, don’t break a sweat. It’s the Kai Parker effect” you whispered the last sentence that left him laughing out loud.

“God, you drive me crazy” he snickered, pulling you into another sweet kiss.

As the kiss grew more and more intense, both of you soon found yourselves breathing heavily, gasping for air in between the kisses. You couldn’t help but feel an ache in between your legs, needing something to touch you down there. With each second passing by, the desire only became stronger. You moaned into the kiss, immediately making Kai pull away and look into your eyes.

“Is everything okay, baby?”

“Y-yes, you just feel so good” you spoke in between breaths, watching as his eyes filled with lust, his grip on your body becoming tighter.

He didn’t answer. You didn’t know what ran through his mind, you had no idea what he was going to do next. There was also fear that you might’ve crossed the line with telling him that. But in just a moment, his lips were back where they were before, but this time finding their way down to your exposed neck. It felt so amazing that you couldn’t keep it together and let out a whimper, your hands on his chest, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt.

“Do you want to keep going?” he asked, looking into your eyes with heavy lids. You nodded to confirm that you want to continue and Kai wasted no time to get back into it. But he was taking a little too long and you couldn’t wait any longer. Your hands tugged on the belt that he wore paired up with his jeans.

“Take it off” you begged.

“As you wish, baby” Kai gave you another wet kiss on your collarbone before he unbuckled the belt and pushed the jeans down to his thighs. Meanwhile you took your shirt off and tossed it to the ground, revealing your breasts that were hugged perfectly in the lace bra. Kai couldn’t hold back and started to kiss your hardened nipples through the fabric, biting them lightly to hear a moan fall from your lips.

It only drove him more crazy than he already was, and he couldn’t wait any longer, he did not want to waste another minute. You watched as Kai pulled away and his hands pushed your skirt up, cold breeze hitting your core as he ripped your panties off. You gasped as he did it, witnessing something completely unexpected from him.

“No worries, princess, it’s just a piece of fabric” he smirked as he undid your bra and threw it away. You thought it was a little unfair that you were only left in a skirt and Kai was still fully clothed.

“And this piece of fabric is blocking my view”

You ripped his shirt off and pulled him closer, kissing him as your hands started pulling down his boxers along with the jeans. Kai helped you out and kicked it off with his feet.

He stood before you, completely naked, out of breath and so turned on by you that it kind of hurt. It was impossible to resist him. His muscular arms made you curse under your nose, you could not get enough of the sight in front of you. Eventually, your eyes fell to his rock hard length that was leaking with precum, and you couldn’t wait to feel it inside of you.

Kai grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to the edge of the counter, his fingers snaking under the skirt as his thumb met your pulsating core.

“Fuck” you whimpered, pulling Kai in with your hands around his neck, your faces so close you felt each others hot breaths tickle the skin.

“I so love to hear those sounds you make, keep ‘em coming” he groaned, slowly plunging two fingers inside you, curling them up to hit your sweet spot. You could not hold it any longer.

“F-fuck, Malachai”

“My god. Say it again, please”

“Malachai” it came out as the hottest sound he’s ever heard before, he never knew his full name that he hated so much could make him feel this way one day. But here you were, calling it and making Kai fall in love with you even more.

His fingers left your core and he took his length in his hand, stroking it before his tip pushed against your folds.

“Please” you cried out.

Kai huffed and inserted himself in you slowly, stretching your walls that were pulsating with need. You threw your head back in pleasure, your nails now digging into his back. He hissed at the feeling but he loved it. He actually didn’t even mind if there were going to be marks left after tonight.

He started to pick up the pace, the skin slapping against one another filled the room and it echoed. You both were moaning from the pleasure, holding each other tightly as your bodies collided and started to coat with a layer of sweat. Kai’s hand found its way around your neck and you never thought he had that in him. But you loved it and it turned you on a lot. The way his fingers pressed the sides of your neck sent shivers down your spine, he was just perfect at doing that.

Soon enough Kai was at such fast pace that his rough thrusts made you lose yourself and you buried your face into his neck, biting the skin with your fangs that made him groan. But not in pain. It was pleasant.

“I’m going to cum, Malachai” you moaned into his ear, feeling your legs tremble and the knot in your stomach tightening with each thrust.

“Fuck, me too” Kai whined as he gripped your face, holding you so close as he became sloppy, leaning his forehead against yours as he kissed you.

Within seconds, the both of you came hard, your body was jolting and your back was arching, breasts brushing against his chest as Kai fucked you through your orgasm. He filled you up and stopped moving eventually, so now it was just you both catching your breaths.

“I fucking love you” he confessed.

“I fucking love you more,” you smiled, “but I’m afraid I might need your help to come down”

“I’ll carry you to the shower, baby. I got you” he pecked your lips, pulled out and picked you up bridal position as he brought you to the bathroom.

“Mind if I join?” he asked, standing with a smile across his face.

“Not at all”

_____

The town party took place in a big mansion, which was already very crowded when you arrived. Once you stepped in after the owner allowed you to, you looked around to see where champagne was being served. You found it on the table and poured yourself a glass, loving the taste of it.

“Hey!” Cora greeted you with open arms, a big smile on her face as she hugged you tight.

“Hi! You look insanely beautiful”

“Look who’s talking” she snickered, pouring herself a glass of champagne.

“Anyone to keep you company tonight?”

“Of course, he should be-“ you were ready to tell her who was going to join you, but your eyes met his from across the room. Your breath hitched at the sight - Kai in his black tuxedo. It was hard to keep shit together in this moment, you never thought anyone could look this good in a suit. And the first two buttons undone of the white shirt he wore? The absolute death wish.

“Scratch that. He's already here” you said, placing the glass down as you watched Kai approach you.

“Hi” he smirked, placing a kiss on your cheek, his hand on the small of your back. He then turned to Cora.

“Hello” she greeted him, trying her best to hold back any negative comments.

“Hey. You must be Cora?”

“Yeah”

“I’m Kai. Nice to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too” you could tell, she was for sure faking her smile. Come on, Cora, he’s not going to cause any problems.

“I think I should head upstairs, I heard there’s some good food there. If you’ll excuse me”

“Of course, I’ll find you later” you smiled at her, watching her walk away in such a hurry. Hopefully she’ll change her mind in the near time, it sucks having to see your best friend avoid your boyfriend at any given moment.

“So, where’s the part where you faint and I have to catch you?” Kai asked, grinning at you as he stood very close to you.

“You’re late on that. I already died a thousand times from the second you walked in” you batted your eyelashes at him, glancing at his lips for a moment.

“You really want me to lose control, don’t you?” Kai whispered in your ear. You cleared your throat as his low tone sent shivers down your body. That’s another thing that you were totally obsessed with - his voice. You could listen to him talk all day and night.

“I could ask you the same, James Bond”

He laughed, grabbing the glass from your hand and taking a sip. Your brows furrowed.

“Hey, that’s my gla-“

“What’s yours is mine” he teased, giving you the drink back.

“Quit with the teasing already. We just came here”

“Fine, fine. Do you want to go get some food?”

You nodded and grabbed his hand, walking to another room that had a table full of all kinds of food and snacks.

“Chocolate covered strawberries, classic” you gasped as you took one and had a bite. It was fresh and tasted amazing.

“Aaaand, no cupcakes” Kai complained but it only made you giggle at his silly comment.

“You sound like a little kid right now. Seriously, cupcakes at a party? Be more fancy than that”

Kai picked up some whipped cream off of the cake that was in the middle of the table. Your eyes widened.

“Malachai! You can’t do that!”

“Oooh, love hearing that name. Be careful with it though, darling” he smirked as he picked up a chocolate covered strawberry, eating it as he locked eyes with you.

“Oh, you’re here!” heads turned as your mom walked in the room. You did not expect her here at all.

“Mom?”

“Hi, sweetheart” she gave you a warm hug and then, Kai walked over to you, standing aside as he greeted your mom.

“You’re the one who sent me the cupcakes, right? I want to say thank you, Kai. It was such a sweet gesture from you. But you still have to work your way to my heart” she gave him a smile, cocking her head to the side as she raised her eyebrows.

“Was me. You’re more than welcome, Ms. _____. Well, that was one of the small good things I could do. Had to start off somewhere”

“I hope you continue to do so. You know our deal” she said as she nodded lightly at him.

“I promise, she’s safe with me” Kai reassured her, wrapping a hand around your waist as he looked at you.

About an hour passed and you wanted to get outside to have a walk in the fresh air. Kai agreed with you and you both escaped the crowded building.

“Your mom is so kind, I already like her a lot” Kai spoke first.

“If you already think she’s kind with the smallest interaction you had, just wait until you get to know her even better. She’s the kindest soul out there. I’m very happy to have such a good mother”

“And you look just like her”

You giggled.

“Thank you. I gotta thank her too for the good genes”

“I might as well”

“You know, I think we did the right thing coming here tonight. Look at you bonding with my mom. She seems to be more and more accepting, I’m really glad we got past the point of her saying no to us being together”

Kai’s eyes lit up, he felt so happy that there was finally some progress regarding gaining trust. It was all he’s wanted ever since he first laid eyes on you. He knew it was going to be a tough battle, but he chose to fight and leave the past behind. And it’s even easier with you by his side, because he knows that you’ll stand up for him no matter what the circumstances are. You are both warriors in this case.

Kai suddenly stopped walking and took your hands in his, looking deeply into your eyes as he stood like that for a little while until he finally spoke.

“You know, I’m so thankful. I have you and you literally changed me for the better. I never thought I could be like this. I never believed I could be changed. I might have done so many horrible things before, taken so many innocent lives, but it’s not me. It was the broken, lost and unwanted kid who only ever deserved to be loved and accepted. Nobody could give that to me because nobody liked me. Not even my own father. And if you told the old me that one day I’ll be in love, he would’ve only laughed and probably burned your house down later just for fun while eating pork rind. That’s just how I was. A total mess in the head who never cared about anyone but himself. But now, I care about you, about your mother, even about your best friend. About people. And I owe it all to you”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you heard him talk like this. Your heart was aching for him. It was hurting you knowing that this man right in front of you never had the love he deserved. In your eyes, he was the most imperfect-perfect person who made you feel alive.

“I am so sorry that you had to go through all that shit. But I promise you, I’m never going to leave you. I’ll be by your side at all times, Kai. I’ll give you all the love that you were supposed to receive throughout all the years. You’re never getting rid of me” you smiled through the tears, watching as his eyes turned red and got all watery. Kai couldn’t help but sniffle as he began to cry.

But unfortunately for you both, someone interrupted your special moment by appearing out of the blue.

“If he won’t, then I will”

Kol. Bloody. Mikaelson.

“Kol?! Why are you here?” you asked as you clung onto Kai, gritting your teeth at the enemy that stood tall not too far from you.

“Well, I figured why not ruin another beautiful night for you and take something from you? You see, all these years Klaus held me daggered in the coffin, but thanks to my mother, who’s unfortunately dead again, I’m baaaack!” he sang the last two words as he took a few steps forward - closer to you.

“You should have stayed in that damn coffin and rotted in it! You turned me into a vampire, almost killed my mother and yet, it’s still not enough for you? Get your shit together, Kol, you are not hurting anyone else that I care about” the anger inside of you made your blood boil, you could not believe that this was happening right now. There is no way in hell he’s laying a single finger on anybody.

“Oh, come on, I’ve missed you. Really needed to pay a visit and make this party even more fun” he laughed, raising his hands in the air.

“Did you not hear her? You are not hurting anybody!” Kai finally stepped in, his voice full of anger that had him clench his jaw as he stared coldly at Kol.

“Who are you again? Ma… Malachai Parker? Hmm. Cannot quite recognise you, seems you have flipped your personality upside down for this girl. Bonus points for the facial hair”

You snarled at him.

“Don’t ever call him that again”

Kol scratched the back of his head and shrugged.

“Nevermind that. I’m here to do some business, so, let’s not waste any more time and get to it, shall we?”

“Whatever the hell you’ve got on your to-do list, it’s not happening” Kai took a step closer to him, leaving you standing behind his back.

“Pfft,” Kol rolled his eyes, “the hell are you gonna do about it? Punch me? Veeery heroic”

You could hear how much Kai’s heart was pounding and how fast his blood was pumping through the veins. You were so freaking scared, you knew how strong Kol was, and the last thing you wanted was for something tragic to happen.

“I swear I will rip your empty heart out, pack it up nicely and send it to your family with the biggest ‘Congratulations! Your least favorite son is dead for good’ written on a big ass note”

Kol’s laughter rang outside once again. That was more than annoying.

“Awh, you can’t be any funnier than this! You should become a comedian. Oh, wait, don’t sweat it. You’ll be dead soon enough”

Kai’s eyes darkened, his irises growing bigger. His chest was rising up and down intensively.

“You are not killing him!” you shouted out loud, veins visible under your eyes.

“What’s going on here?!” heads were turned as you saw Cora and your mother coming in a hurry.

“Kol?!” your mother stopped in her tracks when she recognised the man. She grew furious at the sight of him. He’s supposed to be dead.

“Oh, hello there, mom. Surprised you are still alive”

“I’m more alive than you are” she snapped back.

“I see I got quite a few choices here, but who shall I play with?… Hm. I think I should use this opportunity to do what I couldn’t quite do before. Ms. ____, you’re up first”

“Not on my fucking watch” Kai hissed and punched Kol in the face, but Kol did not hesitate and fought him back. They kept on throwing punch after punch at each other, but neither seemed to hear you screaming and begging to stop. There was a lot of blood. Kai’s hands and his white shirt were covered in it.

“Look at you, little heretic, fighting me like a teenager” Kol groaned at him as he tried to grab Kai by the collar, but knowing his abilities, Kai chanted a spell that sent the other male flying to the nearest tree. And Kai wasn’t done just yet. He walked up to the bastard and chanted another spell that left Kol screaming in pain, grabbing onto the tree, the grass, and his clothes. The amount of power Kai had wasn’t anything close to what the original vampire expected before he came back.

“Who’s fighting like a teenager now, huh?” Kai spat at him as he intensified the spell and it made Kol’s skin burn as if a bucket of vervain got poured onto him.

“Kai, you’re going to kill him!” you yelled out, worried that things could go wrong. But he made you a promise, and it’s Kai, so you still had trust in him regardless of the hatred towards Kol.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ll just make him suffer the way your mother did that night” Kai stated, lifting Kol up against the tree and dropping him on the ground, frying his skin and making his head ring.

“Wait! How does he know what happened to me?” your mom shot you a glance, not able to grasp on what Kai meant by that.

“Yeah, I haven’t told him about it…” you said, looking back and forth between Cora, your mom and Kai.

He then stopped using magic on Kol for a moment, turning around to face all three of you. Kai licked his lips and his eyes welled up with tears again.

“Because I was the one who saved her”

“Malachai…” your voice broke. It was hard to grasp the situation, but it all made sense. Kai returned to Mystic Falls as soon as he broke free from the prison world. It was a chaotic return for him, the whole merge with Luke changed some things. And it changed Kai, too. When he first saw you at the park, listening to music with your eyes closed, something sparked inside of him. He just couldn’t help but feel the need to get to know you. It was hard to understand why he felt like that, but it was just like a magnet. And then, Kol Mikaelson happened. Kai stepped in and saved your mom. And the reason why she didn’t see who saved her was because she was on the verge of passing out and dying, her vision was nowhere close to clear. It was blurry and dim. And once Kai healed her, he left. He then started going to college, he carefully observed you, secretly watched out for you and wanted to approach you. Yet he wasn’t able to get the courage until he began having those nightmares that eventually brought him to the bar that night. Even if he pulled a stupid move by having someone alert him about your whereabouts. It was all that he needed to finally do something more than just say hello before classes. It was all that he needed to begin this journey. A journey to the new Kai Parker. A boy, who after years of suffering finally found someone who’ll love him for an eternity.

“You… saved… me?” your mothers voice cracked as she bursted into tears, Cora following right after.

“Yes” Kai gave her a little smile, knowing that this is the moment that’ll change their view on him entirely. He doesn’t have to be scared or doubtful anymore. He could see it in their eyes - they trusted him now.

“Oh my god” you smiled through the tears, your heart fluttering as you finally found out the truth.

All of you got lost in the moment and forgot about Kol who was slowly getting back on his feet.

But, to your surprise, another familiar face made himself known as he broke the silence.

“I would like to apologise for my stupid brother’s behavior. He’s just as problematic as you know” it was Klaus. Hopefully this time he’ll get Kol and never ever let him come looking for you again.

You swallowed thickly.

“Please, just get him out of here. I want him nowhere near me or my family OR Kai for as long as we are alive”

Klaus quickly pulled a dagger out and drove it through Kol’s heart, his skin turning blue as he faded away. He picked him up and threw him over his shoulder, giving you a nod before leaving.

You smiled in victory, running to Kai and pulling him into the tightest hug ever. He kissed your lips and smiled back at you.

“I love you, Malachai”

“I love you too”

Cora and your mom exchanged looks before coming closer and giving Kai hugs. He didn’t expect this, but now that it happened he was sure that finally, they know you were right this whole time. He’s a good man. He’s worthy of love. He’s worthy of family.

“Sorry I doubted you” Cora said as she held your moms hand in hers.

“I am too” your mom added.

“It’s alright. All that matters to me now is that all of us are safe and alive. So, when’s the family dinner?”

Your mom chuckled at Kai’s sudden question.

“Come tomorrow at seven. I’ll gladly accept you to join us”

“And I’ll be very honored to be there”

[fand0mswithbunny]

this is so different from the other posts i do but fuck it. descendants 4: rise of red review, spoilers ofc, we still boycott disney's ass, pirate this movie like uma and her crew ate the intro of this movie instead of watching this from disney+

keep reading if youve seen it or dont care about spoilers but tldr: if you havent seen it and see this as a spin off movie instead of a 4th installment, i say go watch it. its basically how i feel about the 2024 mean girls movie, im just here for certain characters, dynamics and songs, and a bit of the actual plot, its fun but definitely not for everyone, i liked parts of the movie/plots tho

okay honestly overall, despite the fucking terrible rushed ass ending, i still honestly enjoyed a lot of aspects of this movie.

songs, generally i liked. yeah its all pop-y but yk, none of them were unbearable, i loop red, whats my name (red vers.) and love aint it what about it

the editing was. a choice at times. like it will cut at the most random moments and when red was being transported and fell from that. pipe. thing in the castle it was so. disney channel editing core LIKE OKAY I KNOWW OFC IT IS but grahhhhhHH

the cg was good, direction was. also a choice at times. idk how to explain it but it felt like every scene was being directed like a music video and not like a MOVIE esp the lighting oh my god idk what it is but its so GLOWY AND WEIRDD

the characters themselves, i love the main cast, red, chloe, ella, bridget, etc. were all cool. IM A FIRM RED/CHLOE SHIPPER THEY ARE GIRLFRIENDS IDC and i also liked the dynamic they have with their past moms it was nice

oh yeah i dont mind how they wrote mal, evie, jay, and ben outta the story, i mean they gotta explain their absence yk. and i loved the carlos tribute, you can tell china was genuinely not acting in that tribute scene.

the vks were. okay. i dont mind that literally every villain/princess/disney protag goes to high school. this whole series basically feature length fanfiction anyway, idc personally about that. its weird URSULAS SISTER was the main antagonist. like i get having a completely new villain aside from the vks parents or something but. ursulas. sister??? besides you could tell me shes ursula and ill believe you.

its nice seeing filipino prince charming thats it thats all i gotta say RAHHH PHILIPPINES BABYYY 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 MY MANS GOT THAT 'PINO RIZZ OKAYYY

the plot was actually fun, but yeah I WISH WE COULDVE SEEN CASTLECOMING WE WERE ROBBED OF THAT i knew when red and chloe got the book there was like 10 minutes left in the film but cmonn we couldve had Morgie, I DONT KNOW somehow freeing the rest of the vks and them STEALING THE POCKETWATCH AND RED AND CHLOE HAVING TO GET IT BACK, GET ANOTHER 30 MINUTES IN THE FILM MAYBE, ANOTHER ACTION SEQUENCE, CASTLECOMING. but its finee im sure theres a fanfiction in the works somewhere that has that exact premise because thats what fanfic is for babyyyy

imagine. during the dance chloe and red are scrambling to find the watch, they see the vks, they find bridget crying because her best friend isnt there, she thinks ella bailed on her, they have to find the watch but, they gotta make her feel better right? red comforts her while chloe chases after them to find the watch, ella comes to the dance late after deciding, fuck my stepmom, get your hands dirty parallels, something something, the four of them all stopping the vks together, THEN they travel back.

i should just write a fix it fic for this movie at this point damnn i impressed myself

but yeah the ending does leave a lot of plot holes, if bridget didnt change from the past WHO DID, if Red even CONSIDERED a VK in this timeline? if not then WHO IS IT?? IS IT CHLOE?? its hella rushed, its ass, but i guess we'll find out in the 5th movie ig

also i thought they were totally setting it up for Ella to be the one that humiliated Bridget in the past, like the "I saw through her" in Love Ain't It we NEVER GOT ANY CLOSURE FROM THAT WHAT HAPPENED?? sighhh its okay its fine

i see this movie as a spin off movie rather than a 4th installment of the universe because it pretty much is, like its basically its OWN universe with the lack of the og cast and new characters. i unofficially coin it as the "Descendants: Redverse" because it just makes more sense

so many questions, mainly WHY, but yeah, still liked it, would rewatch. certain. parts of it. but honestly? a 7/10. leaning towards a 7.5

is this a recommendation? not sure, depending on who you are you could totally love this film or hate it, i say give it a chance and completely ignore the busted ass ending <3

anyways KENDRICKKK FANFIC WRITERSSSSSS- DROP SOME MORE CHARMINGHEARTS FANFICS/D4 FIX IT FICSSS. AND MY LIFE, IS YOURRSSSS

[paper-crab]

Party

summary: you go to a party with your friends, some shit happens

warnings: one of the ‘friends’ is a lil creepy but everything ends up well

wc: 1214

finally wrote something for chris, are you proud of me 💪🏼

When your best friends had invited you to a (seemingly) lame high school party, you’d instantly declined; but days of vehement begging eventually wore you down. It was guaranteed to be full of entirely too many people who were sweaty, drunk, high, or all of the above. Despite everything warning you not to go, Chris’ puppy dog eyes just barely did the trick.

“Don’t forget! We’ll pick you up tonight.” Chris says, sounding excited while they drop you off. You fight the urge to roll your eyes and groan, choosing to instead offer a pleasant smile. “See you later.”

Even if you’re not excited about tonight’s events, Chris is, and you can’t take that away from him.

You contemplate your options, ultimately ending up in what makes you feel the most comfortable with yourself for this party. You don’t want to be there anyways; why be self conscious in an outfit that doesn’t make you feel like yourself? When you hear the familiar honk of the triplets car, you rush downstairs, donning your best smile.

You take in your best friend's expressions, each clearly displaying a different emotion: Nick looks like he doesn’t care what they do, Matt has worry painted on his face, likely a result of some anxiety, and Chris couldn’t be more overjoyed to be going to this party.

“Hey,” You say, hopping in. Your earlier reluctance begins to fade, Chris’s enthusiasm creeping in, changing your mood.

“Shit, there’s a lot of people.” Matt says, trying to find a parking spot. “I’ll drop you guys off, then go find a spot.”

“I’ll stay with you,” Nick tells Matt while you and Chris hop out of the van.

Immediately, you can smell booze, weed, and sweat radiating from the house. Chris grabs your hand, tugging you alongside him. “Doesn't this seem fun!”

“Yeah,” You answer, trying to keep up the earlier zeal. You don’t want to let the smell ruin your perception of the party- it still has potential.

“Hey, good to see ya Chris! Where are your brothers?” One of his lacrosse friends says, patting his back.

“Just parking, they’ll be in in a sec,”

“And who might this be?” Another one pipes up, eyes roaming over you. Chris wraps an arm around you protectively.

“My friend. I think we should make the rounds, but it was good to see you dude.” The smile on his face turns more sarcastic as he emits obvious jealousy.

“Yeah yeah, don’t let me keep you Chris. Enjoy the party!” The first friend says, not picking up on the tension.

He drags you away, heading towards the kitchen in pursuit of some drinks. “Yo, are there sodas?” He asks an obviously drunk student, “Dunno.” The kid slurs, and Chris rolls his eyes, turning back to you. You walk to the backyard, but all you see is a nightmare blunt rotation, consisting of people neither you or Chris like.

You navigate away from the chaotic scene, glancing at Chris. “Maybe we’ll find a quieter spot,” he suggests, steering you away from the crowd. You can sense his enthusiasm fading, as he grimaces at several of the partygoers.

“Maybe this party won’t be so great,” He says, chuckling a little bit.

“Hey, you can’t say that! You dragged me here, at least pretend you’re having fun.” You laugh with him.

“Of course I’m having fun, I’m with you.”

“Well, let’s make the most of it then,” you suggest, continuing to explore the party together. Nick and Matt finally catch up with you, and while Matt relaxes a bit, Nick’s earlier apathy is replaced by disgust.

“It smells like shit,”

“It smells like a party, Nick.”

The longer you’re there, the more people leave, and the more laid-back you feel. You even begin to sway a little bit to the rhythm of some shitty dance music.

As you ease into your surroundings, the friend that eyed you, suggests a game. At this point in the night, there’s about 20 people there that are coherent enough to agree, and 6 drop out.

“What are we going to play?” Someone rationally asks. Most participants are drunk enough not to care.

“Spin the bottle.” He says, looking you up and down and licking his lips. You immediately get uncomfortable. “I don’t want to play,” You express, mostly to Chris.

Part of it is that Chris’s friend is a creep, and the other part of it is you haven’t had your first kiss yet. You don’t want to waste it on a stupid middle school-esque game.

“C’mon, don’t be a stick in the mud.”

“I’m gonna sit this one out too,” Chris smiles, obviously trying to rile the guy up. He makes sure to wrap an arm around your waist, making a show of your exit.

You sit on the front porch, away from the stoners in the back, away from the party in the house, and finally in your quiet(ish) spot.

“What is up with you?” You say, and he looks at you, confusion laced in his expression. “Why are you being so… touchy and showy?”

Chris’s face falters, “That kid is bad news, I just don’t want him getting any ideas with you.”

“You could’ve said that, you know I trust you with things like this.”

He grabs your hand and nods as you settle into a comfortable silence. The commotion inside does little to break your thoughts, as his grip provides you an anchor. It’s tranquil, and it all feels right when you snuggle into his body.

“Why didn’t you want to play?” He breaks the silence, playing with your fingers. You hesitate to say anything as heat rises to your face, you feel embarrassed.

“I haven’t had my first kiss.” You mumble out, as if you’re trying to hide it from him.

“A little louder?”

“I haven’t had my first kiss.”

“Me either.” He whispers.

He’s started to rub his thumb on the back of your hand, and despite the low lighting of the porch, you can see the blush on his cheeks.

“Since you’re here,” he starts, “and I’m here, and neither of us have had our first kiss.. maybe we could…?”

You can tell he’s embarrassed to be saying it out loud, but he’s trying to come off as confident and self-assured. You nod. “I’m not sure how to do this, though.”

“Me either.” He shrugs. With a mutual understanding between you, he begins to lean in slowly, stopping merely an inch away from your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

You close the gap. The kiss is soft and tender, like he’s scared of hurting you, but really you know it’s more a fear of making the kids uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to have a shitty first kiss story, and he knows you don’t either. His hand holding yours moves up to hold your face gently.

When you finally break apart, you can't help but let a big cheesy grin come to your face.

The soft lighting of the porch illuminates his face so well, you can’t help but lean in for another. The second kiss is an echo of the first, but with a touch more confidence woven within.

“Fuck that was good,” He says, pulling away breathless. “Can I take you out sometime?”

[n3v3r-trust-th3-living]

And finally....the moment of truth...

So ive been working at a movie theater over a year now and used one of my movie passes to see Beetlejuice beetlejuice and my short review of it?

SPOILERS BELOW

3-3.5 out of 5 or 6-7 out of 10 so good/pretty good like slightly above mid.

But I still liked and enjoyed it a lot, it was fun and I liked the nostalgia fuel being a fan since childhood in the late 90's and 00's and I plan to see it 2 more times, once in 4DX (thank you employee discount). I also have merch put aside for me at work lol

The good

It was fun, well acted, practical effects were great, music was well implemented into their scenes and great choices of music, Catherine O hara stole the show as Delia, sets looked amazing, especially the netherworld iim glad we get to explore more of it.

I liked the jeremy twist (although the hints were kinda obvious to me At least to me). Their parallels to Beetlejuice and Lydia were good and i also felt a parallel between Jeremy and Beetlejuice's teen death rocker alter ego he used to trick lydia from the original unused script, Maybe iits just mee tho.

It is sad to see Lydia become a shell of herr self over the years not tto mention addicted to pills but i think its an interesting way to go especially with her ptsd from beetlejuice, I can see it. (I just wish they used this more as an explanation on her current state and the rift in her relationship with Richard and Astrid as well as as lydia's powers)

I enjoyed the parallels too the musical seeing lydia sort of adopt Charlie's role and astrid be in the shoes that musical Lydia was interesting. Not sure how intentional it was with that or if it was intentional at all tho.

the not so good

The begining slogs a bit, and once we pick the pace up it feels rushed especially during the wedding after the musical number (which Was good), other parts seem rushed too, it feels like a lot going on at once like they pushed multiple ideas for sequels all together which also gave a lot of new characters barley anything to do and made me feel liike they're kinda useless.

I love Delores, im absolutely self shipping with her but it feels like shes just there for eye candy and to be the ficy "other woman" trope.

Willam Defoe's character is fun in theory especially a cocky actor/stuntman playing a cop who died from a scene and is a wannabe cop in the afterlife but in execution he feels pointless.

I wanted to like Astrid more, im glad she wasn't like horribly written, I LOATHE when activist characters especially young ones are written by people who make them unlikable and obnoxious but she felt kinda .... boring sorta like a bit of a rehash of movie and musical lydia (with a dash of cartoon) in one but we only get glimpses into her interests and a lot of it is similar to Lydia even the activist part. And yeah obviously she can share interests with her parents I get she probably got it from them but i wanna know other stuff about her. Although a thing i do like is she is a sceptic while Lydia knows the paranormal exist.

Sorta related to that above there's a bunch oof cool ideas i wish weren't rushed through or they'd explore more.

we also get more netherworld lore which is cool and good but some of it leaves more questions then i had for years with the original.

lastly because this is my biggest Tim Burton beef is that there was still racial stereotypes in the film, he has learned bit over the years with Wednesday but it's still obvious he has some way to go with the Asian dry cleaner and the Soul Train scenes where we see most of the black characters in the film mind you probably the most black people we've seen in any Tim Burton film LOL (speaking as a black fan)

WOW uh I wrote way more than expected lol i have more thoughts but that's it for now, hopefully I will be posting here more in the near future.

[petersbaby]

HAHAHA I wrote this when I was half asleep PLEASE don’t make fun of it I will scream

Please - sub!billy x reader

Warnings: this is fucking crazy. I don’t know where this came from, but the idea of him being tied to a bed wouldn’t leave my thoughts. Good god. Uh, bondage/restraints, pain play, mommy kink (heavy usage), masochism maybe but not that bad, burning, smut (sex), cum talk (I love talking about cum), honestly it’s pure filth. PURE FILTH

A/N: let me know if this needs any more warnings I’m super tired and might’ve looked over something

-

“I love you like this. I wish the whole town could see this, that you’re not all big and bad. You’re just a pretty little boy who begs for what he wants.”

You look at his body intently, devouring it with your eyes, walking around the bed. Billy was restrained by all four limbs, wrists cuffed to the headboard and ankles tied tightly to the bedposts at the bottom. He doesn’t respond to your attempts to get a reaction out of him, he doesn’t deny it because it’s true.

“Hmm. Don’t wanna talk?”

He shakes his head ‘no’ quickly. He’s somehow already sweating, curls sticking to his face and neck, getting frizzy from the heat he emanated.

“I guess I’ll have to leave you alone, then…” you glance down at the ground, implying you’re going to turn around and abandon him, helpless.

“No, don’t. Please.” He whines, and you come back to his side.

“I know what you want, but you’re gonna have to be good to get it. Okay?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Fire shoots straight down to your core, setting it alight and it spreads rapidly. You almost lose your composure, having to mask how horny that made you, but you keep it together.

“Good boy.” You gently run your fingers across his forehead, pushing back the stray pieces of hair that were stuck to it.

You climb onto the bed, on top of the nude boy, still in all your clothes besides your shorts, which were already gone. Reaching to the side, you grab Billy’s pack of cigarettes and take one into your mouth. You light it, taking in a deep inhale and exhaling the smoke loudly.

“Hold this, baby.” You place it between his fingers, and he holds it, though he’s restrained.

You lean over, starting to do exactly what you wanted to do. You place the very first kiss onto his jawbone, near his earlobe. You’re horribly slow with the amount of progress you make, the ultimate goal to reach his cock.

You didn’t care, you knew he could wait, and you took lots of careful time licking and sucking on the salty, sensitive skin of his neck. Marks form all the way down the side of it, and he groans each time you bite down hard. The sound of his desperation was music to your ears, so you kept on going. You suck on the skin covering his collarbone, working all the way across it to the end.

“Everyone that looks at you is going to know you’re mine, that I own you.” You comment, pulling away and sitting up to admire the work you did with the bites and hickeys. They were already turning a dark purple color, and they were beautiful. You smell smoke and remember the cigarette you had lit, reaching over to take it from his fingers and taking a hit.

“Words, Billy. Hello?” You add.

“Yes- yeah, yeah. You own me, mhm. Can I hit that, please?” His eyes are fixated on the cigarette that sat between your lips.

“Yes, pet, here.”

You place it in his mouth and let him take a hit of it, pulling it away when he took the smoke in. He breathes out through his nose.

“Thank you.” He says softly.

“So polite, I love your manners. Sweet baby.”

You sit and just smoke, taking your leisurely time. You notice in his face that he’s staring at it, and at the cherry red burning end. He didn’t want to say it, but you weren’t a mind-reader, so you assumed he wanted more and brought it to his lips again. He just shakes his head.

“No? What is it, has your color changed?”

“No, no, it’s green.” He rushes out the words to assure you, “just… would you put that out… uh, fuck.” He gets frazzled trying to put it into words. You listen patiently, waiting.

“On me. Please. Burn me.” He finishes quickly.

“Yeah? You sure?”

“Mhm.”

You knew he had kind of a thing for pain, but were hesitant about this. You didn’t want to hurt him, you really didn’t, but he asked you to. Of all the cigarettes you’ve smoked together- it was a habit you shared- he’s never said anything like that.

You hesitate for a moment, but figure he’s done it before to know he wants it. You take one last hit of the cigarette before pressing the tip of it down onto his chest, on his upper pec.

“Ah- shit,” he groans, squeezing his eyes shut. “Fuck.” He breathes.

You discard the cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table, coming back to look down at the damage, a perfect white circle with a bit of ash speckled around it. You blow the ash away, and place a kiss on top of the burn.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You reply mindlessly, not noticing the desperation in his face as he stares up at you.

He starts to shift a bit, enough that you can feel it.

“I need-“

“You need to wait.” You interrupt him, shutting him down.

You place kisses all across his torso, starting at his chest and making your way down to his abdomen. You feel his tight muscles constrict even tighter when you kiss over them, his sensitive body tensing up each time.

He’s still shifting, whining quietly every now and then, trying to be good and not buck his hips. You work your way down to his happy trail, a line of blonde hair starting at the bottom of his belly button. Continuing, you get right to where the bush of pubic hair starts to form, and stop there. He starts to whine louder, close to tears.

“Please.”

“Be patient, I’ve still got all my clothes on. That’s not very fair, is it?” You ask, tilting your head as you do.

“N-no.” He shakes his head.

You reach for the bottom hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head, discarding it somewhere in the floor. His big, dumb eyes fall down to your chest. You make quick work of getting your bra off too, letting it fall away.

You feel him continue to stare at you, getting up off the bed to remove your panties. Now that you’re off of his lap, you can see how miserable he is. His cock is a darker shade of red, hard as a rock, leaking desperately from the tip and twitching on its own.

“Poor thing. Can’t do anything about that without your hands, huh? Do you need help?”

He nods, swallowing hard. When you finally get back on top of him, your warm, wet pussy makes direct contact with his erection.

“Ahh, oh god, oh my god.” He moans, and you start to rock a bit, grinding on his dick without letting it actually get in. Your slick covers it, the entire shaft, when you spread your pussy lips around it and continue the bringing motion.

The motion stimulated your clit wonderfully, you felt like you could just do this forever. Maybe you didn’t need penetration, this contact was something so good that you could cum from it already. He watches the place where your cunt is rutting against his boner, and can’t take any more.

“Put it in, please, I want to fuck you so bad. What do you want me to do? I’ll do it, I’ll do anything. Just please fucking put it in.”

You come to realize that tears are actively falling from the corners of his eyes. You decide to give in, in that moment, but wanted to push him just a little more, just for your sick enjoyment.

“Hmm. Okay, well, do you know my name?” You ask.

You see some cogs turning in his little head, trying to find the answer.

“Aww, so horny you can’t even remember my name.” You reach to caress his cheek, skin hot.

“It’s mommy.” You bend down to whisper in his ear.

“Please, mommy, please. Mommy, mommy, mommy. I need you, mommy, please,” he starts to ramble, and you give a satisfied smile.

You line it up and sink down onto him with no warning, and he cries out loud. Almost like a sob, it filled the air in the room. You sat all the way down on his cock and stayed that way for a moment, getting used to it. Soon, you start to move, riding his cock slowly.

“Oh, my god, mommy, thank you, fuck, it’s sososososo good-“ he rambles again, saying words just to say them. He can’t be quiet, moans loud and resonating, babbling incoherently, crying and mewling.

“Stop crying, I’ve got you, baby.”

You lean back down to kiss the tears off of his face.

“Okay, okay, I’ll try.”

“I’m taking care of you. Aren’t I taking good care of you, hmm?”

“Yes, mommy’s taking such good care of me.”

“There you go, good boy.”

You increase your speed, now bouncing up and down on his cock. He watched your tits bounce with each movement, enamored. He wishes so bad that he could touch them, that he could touch any of you. Literally anything, he just wanted to feel your skin beneath his fingers.

You start to let out moans that mix harmoniously with his, riding him at just the right speed for you. The sight below you was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, your boy sweaty with wide eyes and blown out pupils, mouth hanging open and panting like a dog.

All the while covered in bruises and bite marks that you made.

For the first time tonight, you leaned down and kissed him. You finally let him kiss you, and he was over the moon. The feeling was electric, his lips on yours, and you try your best to actually kiss but end up just moaning into each other’s mouths. Having to pull away, you ride him like your life depended on it, and it felt like it did.

“Mmh, god, I’m so close.” You try to say but the words are all slurred together, and you keep your perfect pace until you’re clamping down on his cock and orgasming hard, letting it wash over your entire body and take over your senses.

You keep on riding, using him, his dick hitting your g-spot over and over again. It was almost too much, overkill, but not enough to stop. You couldn’t stop, so you didn’t. You continued bouncing your ass up and down on his cock, relishing in the feeling you get when he’s filling you up.

You hardly noticed the words being spoken. When you tune back in, it’s him just begging and begging you to give him permission.

“M-mommy I can’t, please.” He whines, unable to keep it in.

“Oh, go ahead, pretty boy. Fill me up, keep going til nothing’s left.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice, and you feel him twitch inside of you before spilling. You start to slow down your pace, still continuing your movements until he started to shake and then you got off.

You immediately start spilling all over the bed below you, his hot cum leaking out. You’ll wash the sheets, just not now. You were just taking in the moment, silently appreciating it.

“Shit.” You remark, trying to get yourself together. Once you have, at least a little bit, you quickly tug on your panties and throw one of his big t-shirts on. You go to the foot of the bed first to untie his ankles, knowing that the knots you did were tight and possibly cutting off circulation.

He let out a sigh of relief at his freedom, then you grabbed a tiny key from the bedside table drawer. You move quickly to unlock the cuffs, one at a time until he’s soon completely unrestrained.

“Are you okay? What do you need?” You check in. You were tired, but not too tired to make sure he’s taken care of.

“I’m okay. Pants, please, and water.”

“Okay.”

You go to retrieve a pair of sweatpants and toss them over, then head to the kitchen and grab him a cold bottle of water. When you come back, he has a cigarette lit and is smoking it happily. You hand him the water and sit down next to where he lay.

You watch as he sort of returns to his normal self, and you wonder if he’s as exhausted as he is.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

You smile. “Yes.” And you snatch the cigarette out of his hand, stealing it.

It makes you look down at his chest, and you wonder out loud, “does that really turn you on?” as you trace the skin around the burn with you fingertips delicately.

“I dunno,” he shrugs, “just feels good.”

“Well that’s something we’ll not do very often, sometimes, if you want, but not often. Can’t have scars all over this perfect body.” You compliment as your fingers wander and caress his bare torso.

He blushes, only slightly, smiling. “Stop it.”

“What? It is. I know it and you know it too.”

“That’s all you. You’re perfect.”

[saynomorefic]

Hi June! If you're still up for it, 4, 5, 34, 35 and/or your choice for the otp asks?

Have a lovely day 💜

Hii W! Tysm for the ask <3 I kinda wrote a novel 😅

4. Their favorite show to watch together? 

Simon 100% watches anime. My knowledge of anime is next to nothing but I feel like he likes Deathnote, Attack on Titan, Hunter x Hunter, etc. I think Wille prefers teen dramas (he got a taste for them from Felice/ the girls) and docuseries, because he's hungry to learn more about the world around him. I think together they probably watch whatever anime Simon is into and nature documentaries because they're both kinda big nerds?! Oh, and Avatar.

5. Who is the cheesier one of the two? 

Sorry but Wille. I feel like I see this pretty much confirmed everywhere, from canon to fic. That boy knows how lucky he is and takes every opportunity to show it.

34. How do they cheer one another up during sad times?

I agree with the consensus that it's physical (lol) however I'll try to say some new things. Wille seems to want to talk it out, and Simon has demonstrated that he shows care by listening, asking questions, and offering support. I imagine he learned these skills from living with Linda and Sara. Sometimes when Wille's sadness turns to big anger (like once a year) they'll go to the junkyard and smash a bunch of shit, then go make out. Yeah. 

Simon seems to go within when he's sad, so Wille tries really hard to stop him from spiraling and get him out of his head until he's ready to talk. He'll plan little excursions, like a walk in the park, or get Simon to dance with him in their living room, anything to show him that it's not all bad. Wille also tries to make him laugh. I envision a lot of tickling. He knows not to rush Simon, who will share when he feels safe and ready. 

35. What are their tastes in music? 

I've thought about this one quite extensively. 

So I think Simon inherited a bunch of Micke's taste, because we know Micke exposed him to music and took him to concerts as we see in canon. I imagine it's a good mix of 80's and 90's rock, things like Nirvana and maybe some Swedish bands (like Kent, thank you Wilma @nothingadoaboutnothing ;)) 

As for contemporary music, I feel like Simon likes indie rock, some of it more underground, some more standard like the Arctic Monkeys, Vampire Weekend, etc. I see him listening to Lizzy McAlpine and Sufjan to cry and get his feelings out. I also feel like he likes Lady Gaga, perhaps a mix of her vocals and aesthetic. 

Wille likes rap and EDM as we saw in YR. However, much like the TV show thing, I think Felice and company have definitely awakened some love for queer pop / hyperpop in him. I see a burgeoning Charli / Chappel fan. Maybe this is just wishful thinking but I see it. Simon 100% makes fun of him (but definitely doesn't complain when he puts it on). 

Bonus / free question: 

39. Do they get along with each other's family? 

I want to say I'm hopeful on this one. Simon seemed to do fine with Kristina and Ludvig, although I'm sure there's going to be plenty more awkwardness and discomfort now that Wille has stepped down. Overall I think they're pleasant towards each other with occasional moments of connection. 

I think Wille is very invested in getting to know Sara, Linda, and possibly Micke. Post S3, I think he starts to form a closer bond with Sara; I'd like to think she becomes like another sibling now that he doesn't have Erik anymore. Wille tries hard with Linda in the beginning, and eventually realizes that all she wants is for him to treat Simon well and be happy, which for him is easier than ever. Perhaps Wille is the bridge towards a better relationship with Micke - he understands shitty family dynamics and is neutral where everyone else is scarred, so maybe he can help them be in each other's lives again in small ways. Like I said, wishful thinking.

I think Simon actually pushes for Wille to spend time with Wille's parents more, because Wille definitely prefers holidays at the Erikssons. S3 made me feel very hopeful about both fronts.

[nihyunluvskookie]

“this is my birthday gift?”

Bang Chan one shot

Pairing: Bang Chan × Female reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: no warnings it’s just fluff

word count: 1.2K

Author’s Note: This was a very random idea for his birthday, and I wrote this in a rushed way, hope you still find it cute >< Happy Chan day 💗💗 love him so much and this is not proofread- still I hope you enjoy <3

Happy Reading :)

I was wondering, how to waste time till midnight, since our dinner was over and we were already on the way to his car. “It’s getting late Ava” I saw it was almost 11 pm.

“I will drive, tonight” he gave me a look, “What?”

“Why suddenly?”

“I just want to, no arguments Chan”

“Okay, okay” he nodded and laughed at me.

“Let’s get in” he got inside the car and so did I. I had this whole thing planned, it would barely take twenty minutes for me to reach my home, it’s not that far. I looked at my watch, I had almost forty-five minutes in total.

I started driving, Chan played some music “I am craving for ice cream Chan,” my eyes were still focused on the road, “but you said no when I asked if we should order there?”

“Having ice creams outside is fun”

“As you say Ava” I smiled at his defeat. Maybe he was busy with all the song recordings and work, I get it but I wanted to surprise him for his birthday. I wonder if he remembers if tonight, well practically tomorrow is his birthday.

Soon, I parked the car and went out to buy ice cream. Chan was smiling, “you look happy”

“Yes, because I am with you.” I turned to look at him, “This is why I tell you, we should go out often and you shouldn’t overwork always. I know work is important but at times you should take some days off and enjoy everything around you” he got closer and pinched my cheeks “yes ma’am” he always took me in surprise.

While pinching my cheeks, his face was very close to my face. Every time, he comes this close to me, the proximity kills me. Makes me wonder, how is this guy the most adorable guy I found in my life and we are dating; it’s been probably four months but I just want to kiss all over him whenever he is this close to me but I am just shy to even take a step.

Soon, we reached the ice cream stall and took our favorite flavors and since I wanted to use up all the time, I was eating slowly.

“So, how was your day?” he asked me, “It was good but dinner and now an unplanned ice cream date made it better.” He smiled at me. “that’s sweet”

“I know I am” I laughed it off and he was staring at me, “what happened?”

“You’re so pretty Ava” he smiled at me and the urge to kiss him was something I was resisting.

After finishing our ice creams, I went to drive again, I looked at the time, and I still had a lot of time. I had an idea, to drive away to another place. I was praying for him to not notice, so I kept him busy with conversations. “Ava”

“Yes?”

“Where are we going?”

“To my home? remember you told me it’s getting late and I don’t think you will like it if your girlfriend takes a cab home from your place?” I kept my eyes on the road and tried to steal a glance at his face, “Yes, but this is not the way to your home”

“And who do you think knows better?”

“Yes, but” I took a turn which was the way to my office, “Ava, are you sure?”

I stopped the car and looked at him, “Oh shit, this is the way to my office, guess we need to go back”

“Ava, how could you?” he looked at me in disbelief, “It’s night time Chan, it happens.”

“Gosh, next time I am driving you back home, you messy girl” he laughed and I started driving again.

And according to me, it took twenty minutes for us to reach. I pulled into my driveway, “we reached, see.”

“yeah.” He looked at me, I could say he didn’t want to let me go. There was something, between us, I could always read him like a book, I could tell when he wanted to be with me or he didn’t want to let me go, I could tell if he was holding back the urge to play with me or tease me.

“Come with me.” he looked confused, “I need to show you something, then you can go back home” he looked skeptical, “Come on, Chan. Let’s go.”

I pull him out of the car, successfully. I hold his hand and he follows me; I missed holding his hands.

I unlock the door of my house and switch on the lights first. I pull him and make him sit on the kitchen aisle, he looks at me. I was waiting for the clock to strike at 12 am. I went towards the fridge, “what are you searching for Ava?” I was about to take out the cake, I baked for him and felt his arms around my waist. “Chan?”

“Yes?” he rested his head on my shoulder, I took out the cake carefully, “A cake?” he lifted his face but his arms didn’t leave my waist, “Yes” I kept the cake on the kitchen aisle and took out the candles.

After lighting them up, I heard the clock. “Happy birthday Chan” he looked surprised, “you remembered?”

“How could I forget?” I smiled at him, he possibly didn’t think I would forget his birthday. “Now, make a wish and blow out the candles, I made this for you” he nodded, he closed his eyes and wished for something, he looked at me and smiled; the moment he opened his eyes. I gestured for him to blow out the candles and he did. “Happy Birthday love” he looked surprised because this was the first time I called him ‘love’ rather than ‘Chan’

“Thank you so much, my love” he smiled at me, I was about to say something but then he leaned in close, his breath was hitting my face, I was waiting for him to give him but he kissed my cheeks. “thankyou so much for this”

Once he pulled back, he looked at me, “Now where’s my gift? Baby?” I was wondering how to do, every time I think about kissing him, I just don’t get the courage. I took a deep breath, “Close your eyes, and I will give you your birthday gift.” He smiled at me and closed his eyes.

“Okay” he said and waited for me, I was preparing myself. I took a deep breath and leaned closer and just kissed him. Once I kissed him, I was about to pull back but his hand went to hold my neck and he pulled me closer. And kissed me better than I did “this is my birthday gift?” he asked me in between kisses and smiled.

“Yes” I said and kissed him again, his other hand was on my waist, “Then I want every day as my birthday if I get to kiss you as my birthday gift”

I pulled back and looked at him, “You need to eat this cake and go home” I stepped back, and he suddenly pulled me closer, “are you sure you want to let me go, after our first kiss” I was about to answer him but he kissed me again.

[linadove]

Until Him

background- y/n is a famous singer and actor. She lives in a LA penthouse with both of her roommates Madison Beer and Madelyn Cline

the three decide to throw a party and invite their friends over

-love interest- Shawn Mendes

writers note- there might be spelling/grammar mistakes. English was not my first language, my first fanfic i wrote

I wake up in my room, with the city view and a dark room with red LEDs. I sit up and check my phone to see the time ,"its 8pm, god why did no one wake me up?". I've been asleep for 3 hours… I rip off the covers and put on my bunny slippers and I head out to the kitchen to see if Madison and Madelyn are still up. as I reach the end of the hall I look to my left and I see Madison and Madelyn with a drink in their hands. they both look up at me. "Hey look who's finally up!" Madelyn says with the most energetic smile ever.

i take a seat on one of the stools next to Madelyn on the kitchen island. "hey want a drink?" Madison offers me. I accept with a small smile on my face. Madison starts preparing my drink for me and they both look at me like they wanna ask me a question. "hey uh sooo me and Madison were thinking maybe we should throw a little party for us and all of our close friends?" Madelyn looking a little bit nervous. I look up at them scanning their faces "sure…. why not?" they both squeal,

Madison hands me my drink, I take a sip and we three talked about who we should invite for the next 5 minutes. "so we got obx cast, jack Gilinsky, the Dolan twins and Shawn Mendes" Madison says. I take a moment "yeah that's about it ?!".

we talk about the party and how we would want to set it up and we started to get to work and my job was snack duty and text everyone the information, Madelyn puts on music attaching it to the speakers and starts to hang up some party decorations. Madison is on drink duty, I text everyone about the party and I tell them to be here by 9pm. I get started on the snacks so I take a party bowl and head to my pantry, I take some chips and some sweet I didn't think we would need any snacks since all we would do is just drink but ill always have my phone on speed dial for some pizza. we all got the whole place ready in 10 minutes. the counters fills with alcohol bottles ready to be open.

we three sat down and realised were not even ready. we three all rush to my room we do our make up and put on our dresses, I wore a red glittery mini dress. it took us about 30 minutes to get ready and then all of a sudden the door bell rang. we three got up and opened the door to see all of our friends waiting to be let in. we all smiled and welcomed them in. I lock eyes with Shawn Mendes as he was walking into the living room. I felt my heart drop I have no idea why that happened. boys don't usually have this affect on me.. even the ones I found attractive.

we all gather around the island to pour ourselves drinks, Madison and Madelyn are already tipsy at this point. I just had two cups already so i pour myself another as soon as I reach for a cup I get stopped by Shawn's hand already on the cup. I look up to see him already looking at me and he gives me the cup and I take it and flash him a quick smile. I make a mix of alcohol and leave the island and I start dancing in the living room. the penthouse was covered in LEDs and loud music. I felt the euphoria from the drink and music filling my veins. I looked around and saw Madison and Shawn talking and looking a little bit too comfortable. I hated the idea of them together but why "god y/n what is your problem! these are your friends, just let them have fun.."

I tried to get rid of the idea of walking up to the two by going to distract myself with Ethan Dolan. I used to like him a few months ago but I let go of it after my career started to get the best of me. I walk up to Ethan and start dancing with him and actually having a good talk "you look very beautiful tonight y/n" Ethan says with a smirk on his face. I smile at him "thanks Ethen" .we continue to dance and Madison takes a glance over to us.

everyone is yelling and having a good time until someone suggested we play truth or dare. everyone agreed to play so we all sat on the couch and some on the living room floor. I I sat on the floor with Madison, Madelyn, Jack, Ethan and Shawn.

once everyone was settled down Rudy went over the rules. "so the game is simple if you pick either truth or dare and you don't want to you have to take a shot. any questions?" everyone stays quiet. I look around if anyone had a question about the game rules, no one speaks. Rudy smirks "alright then is everyone ready!" everyone then yells in excitement.

Madison gets up to go turn down the music a little bit, as soon as Madison goes back to her seat next to me on the floor Rudy asks her "truth or dare Madison" Madison then laughs and says "truth" "do you have feelings for someone in the room" Rudy asks. everyone is shocked by the question and starts hyping her up. "uh yeah I do" Madison says laughing.

Madison looks over to me and asks me "truth or dare y/n" I look up at her and I say "truth". "are the dating rumours true?" she asks. I look confused "what dating rumour?" "you and Ethan?" I start to get nervous and don't know what to say " who started that ?" Madison laughs "I did". I laugh "no the rumour is false Madison" Madison looked a little bit disappointed, I then proceeded to look around to see who my target would be. I then lay my eyes on jack. "jack truth or dare?" jack looks over to me and confidently says "dare" I smirked and laughed "I dare you to kiss Madelyn" everyone starts to woohoo them.

Madelyn looks over to me looking all flushed and I couldn't stop laughing knowing that she had the biggest crush on this guy for weeks now. jack lost all of his confidence when he looked at Madelyn, they both looked like tomatoes it was funny and everyone in the room knew they both liked each other. jack made the first move and walked towards Madelyn. they both kissed. we all awed and clapped. jack took a seat next to Madelyn. it was so adorable. Madelyn whispered in jacks ear and had the biggest grin. he looked over at Shawn and asked him "truth or dare Shawn" I looked over at Madelyn and she looked at me like she was about to get pay back. I was scared for my life, I pretty sure she doesn't know I like Shawn…. hopefully.

"dare" Shawn says with a smile. "kiss y/n for 3 minutes straight" I look over to Shawn with wide eyes. this is the end, this is where I say my goodbyes. Shawn asks me if its okay. I take a shot and everyone looks at me thinking I took the shot because I didn't want to do it, but then I walked over to Shawn, I look over at Madison and look back at Shawn. I look into his eyes and I suddenly feel this rush, I cupped his face and kissed him, he quickly kisses me back and I felt the music fade out and all I could think about is him in the moment, I've always been Shawn's friend and I don't know if this was gonna ruin it or not, but I feel a spark in between us and I hope he feels it too.

the kiss was depend ,PURE pornographic. I let this kiss get the best of me and I got lost in him, it felt like we were the only ones there, I lifted my right hand I place it on his brunette curls, Shawn had his hands on my waist. and then everything hit me, I heard everyone talking how its been past the 3 minute mark. I quickly let go and look around everyone was looking at us, I was embarrassed and I looked at Madison and she look shocked.

i excused myself and headed to the bathroom. as soon as I locked the door i heard both Madelyn and Madison call out from the other side asking to be let in "y/n open the door" Madison calls out, I get terrified but I opened the door for them both and they walk in and I lock the door behind them.

"y/n what was that!!! ohh myyy godddd, are you like in love or something oh my god!" Madison silently yells I get confused thinking that she would be saying how I took her man or something so i asked her about it. "Madison you're not mad?" "Mad? what do you meannn?!!" she looks confused. "I saw you and Shawn earlier talking and it looked like you guys liked each other" "y/n what are you talking about. we don't like each other..IN FACTT he was asking about youuuu. he asked if you were single and ready to be in a relationship and I told him that you were single and you weren't really looking but you would be definitely up to the idea" I have a shocked expression on my face.

Madelyn is just standing there drunk not handling any of the information. I have no idea what to do anymore, ill feel too awkward to leave the bathroom and have all eyes on me. " would you like for me to go to the group and ask if they wanted to watch a movie and get everyone sobered up before they left?" Madison offered I looked up at her and I smiled "that would be great thank you" Madison and Madelyn leave the bathroom and I look over to the mirror "what now y/n" I sigh and I fix myself up and think about going into my pjs and go lay down and go watch the movie with everyone.

I leave the bathroom confidently and smile to everyone and walk towards my room. as soon as I was about to close the door a hand stops it from doing so. I stop and Shawn Mendes comes into frame. I stand there looking up at him. "could I come in y/n?" "sure.." I say nervously walking in to my closet to pick out my pjs. Shawn stay out side of the doors to let me get changed, "so are you alright?" I walk out in my pjs "yeah why?" Shawn stayed silent for a while. "well you walked to the bathroom without saying a word after the kiss, did you not like it ?" I stopped him immediately " no of course I did, it was just embarrassing for how long we did it in front of our friends" he looked calm.

I took a seat at my vanity to take off my make up, he then came over behind me. once I took off my make up I looked at him through the mirror and he looked down at me. "would it be alright if I kissed you again y/n?" I didn't say anything but nod in agreement. he started to kiss my neck, leaving wet kisses. I couldn't handle it anymore so I got up and turned around I looked him in the eyes, tension building up. breathing hard from the sudden movement. we were so close to each other it felt dangerous to be back in this range with him, but something was calling me into him.

i filled the space with a passionate kiss. we depend the kiss and lost all control. we were drugged by each other. we found our selves near the door and he pinned me against the wall, he picked me up so were eye level. deep breathing filled the room, I slowly unbuttoned his black t-shirt not breaking the kiss "OH MY GOD" we froze and then looked over at the door and saw Madelyn looking right at us. Shawn put me down and we looked embarrassed by the sudden intrusion. "MADELYN LEAVE!" I close the door on her.

I look over at Shawn and we both start laughing. "lets go watch the movie with the others" Shawn suggested laughing. Shawn opens the door and I sigh. while walking out the door Shawn ruffles my hair and I roll my eyes.

we get to the living room and see the that jack, and the Dolan twins are on the couch and the others are preparing to leave. I go say my goodbyes and say sorry about the whole thing. They all say its fine and say goodnight and leave.

the 7 of us sitting on the couch watching the movie, Shawn sitting next to me. I take a few glances at him and he smiles each time. I have no idea what's happening to me but I've never felt in love until him.

[phoenix-positivity]

22 april 2024 - have a feeling this will be venty

I have that feeling cause I just started dissociating as I opened this. Maybe I already did before. Am I forgetting why I wanted to make this post? It's getting harder to breathe? Why? What a strange feeling. Overwhelming. Fear in my arms again. Let me move my body around and come back to this. Maybe get a sour candy. Smell a scent stick.

It helped a bit. I have a little spiky ball and I grabbed a plushie to hug. The sour candy was nice. My head started hurting though. I'm still feeling triggered. I don't really know why.

I've not been able to write much on here cause I keep dissociating too much or feel too triggered. I don't remember what the last thing I wrote was..

It makes sense though. Even though I've been very lucky with lot's of rain and cloudy weather!! The plants still grow though, perhaps even more with all the water. Sometimes the rain makes them emit more scent. Like the earth itself will smell. I still don't know what the sources are for the scents that trigger me. It's likely a cocktail of many different things.

I find it hard to actually stand still and face the triggers instead of rushing and trying to get away faster. I've tried standing still and it just keeps building up and up and it makes me want to give up before it starts decreasing, though I did it today too and I focused really hard on grounding and it felt like I had at least taken the edge of. But yeah I am surely avoiding it, I guess I don't feel strong enough to bear the pain perhaps. Or well, it's normal to want to go away from pain. At least I still take my dog for walks and walk through the areas where the scents are bad.

I also said to my therapist last week I felt the trauma I wanted to process that session wasn't bad enough to warrant processing. She replied saying that if that were the case we could start the processing and if we discovered it was no big deal for me then I would be feeling fine and we could just do something else. Obviously it was a big deal for me. I did partly process some triggers during the EMDR as well.

It also makes sense because a big triggering holiday is coming up this week. I've been sensing it's approach for some weeks now. I will do exposure during it. Actually.. it might be good to process that in my next therapy session too. Let me look something up in my trauma diary.. (not the best idea, I admit)

I ended up reading the whole diary. It makes me see how far I have come in my healing. Comparing my current situation to back then. That is hopeful.

Someday, a future me will be reading these journal entries. And they will think what I think now: "wow, I've improved so much compared to the past"

Hope.

This is but a moment in time. A painful journey to travel.

On a brighter side. I purchased VIP tickets to go see a concert and get my album signed and meet the artists. This year is a good concert year for sure. Going to concerts by myself opens up a lot of fun experiences.

I have also been working on my sleeping schedule as much as I've been able to hold myself accountable. Which is why right now I need to turn off my pc and get into bed. I've purchased a white noise machine and I've been using multiple different sound options to fall asleep. It really does make me feel safer in bed. It's a noticeable difference.

I can do this. Being triggered might make it feel like the world is standing still but this is just another day among many. The sun will set and rise again.

Dissociation doesn't last forever. It comes and goes. I will feel fully grounded again. I wont feel this way forever. I wont get 'stuck in this setting'.

Even if my dreams wont be good I will wake up and get to experience a new day and my dreams can be forgotten again.

I can recharge in bed with my plushie. It's okay to feel scared. But there is no danger in bed. The music box will be there for a comforting melody. It will be okay.

[chlorinecake]

idk if u didnt reply to my last one or it didnt show up again 💔💔💔💔💔 ok so i literally forgot what i wrote last time soooo im screwed

i think i wrote

blueberry diaries log one

i mean i love jake land but the thing is idols they rarely come here like.. world tour literally means japan korea america americans are sooooo lucky 💔💔💔 i wish i could see enha but they havent come here even ONCE but its ok ive still had the chance to go to some concerts 😄😄 but the thing is i was literally resisting the urge to fly to singapore to watch enha 😞😞😞

speaking of did u go to the enhypen concert when they went to 29393288283 places in ur country 😄if u did hope it was fun (dying on the inside) if u didnt thennnn.. theres always next time

america is very cool tho i went there a while ago long flight tho but it was fun i went back in time sooo

im very curious what happens when an idol sees an au about themself.. 😭😭 how would they react LMAOAOA

anyways about universe ticket its really not traumatising some of the contestants even have tiktok accounts 😄😄 it feels a little rushed tho.. BUT THE THING IS THE DEBUT GROUP HAS ONE ADULT AND ONE 12 YEAR OLD I FEEL SO OLDDDD

also i never knew that you can change the size and the font of words on tumblr i feel so.. uneducated 😭😭

ok signing off,

- 😹

Omg, the “Blueberry Diaries” 😍 Sign me up, I love this show alreadyyy !!

Flying out to Singapore just to see them perform would’ve been such a fun experience I’m sure, but at the same time, very expensive and maybe even scary if you went alone … Crossing my fingers in hope that one day tho, Enhypen will show some love to Jake Land and it’s residing engenes 🫶

But no, I’ve actually never been to one of their concerts before, and as much as I’d love to go one day, my mom is SO ANTI kpop to the point that if she even knew that I listened to their music, she’d take my phone away again 😭 Like ong, she literally had a panic attack when she saw pictures of Hyunjin & Niki in my gallery, but that’s a story for another day … 🍵

And omg, which state did you visit (if you don’t mind sharing) …. You also just reminded me of my childhood fascination with Australia… I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted to visit there as a kid, and even more NOW as an adult knowing that so many of my favorites idols are from there :’3

About the ff thing tho, I honestly feel like most of them would be flattered by it while others would just find it flat out weird 😭 Sometimes, I get the feeling that Enhypen knows abt ppl writing stuff for them, mostly bc it just seems like they’re always in on our inside jokes and strange engene ways 🫠

But trainees having active social media accounts is new :0 ?!? And ‘11 liners working alongside adults is crazyy !! Hell, I can’t even believe I just said 11’ liners, HELP-

Good to hear no one’s being traumatized tho 😭 And yeah, you’ll learn that tumblr has a lot of cool features and quirks once you keep using it !!

Anyways, thanks for reaching out again, Blueberry !! It was fun responding to this lengthy ask huhu 🤭 ~

[nobodysdaydreams]

*twirls around in a fancy but ominous looking office chair while gently stroking a black cat*

Hello @sophieswundergarten, my good friend. I’ve been eagerly awaiting your reaction to this chapter for quite some time. I’m so glad you enjoyed it :) /lh

Let’s get into it! (Warning: major spoilers for SOS so far ahead).

My notes on your wonderful notes:

I’m glad you’re excited to hear about my writing! 🥰

“Jake and Devin better be nice to SQ. At this point, I kind of doubt it, but i really want them to be”

^And I wanted nice roommates too. But we can’t have everything. Jake and Devin are based on real people (girls, but real people). “Jake” was nicer one, but still didn’t like me. As for Devin, his name is one letter off from “devil” for a reason.

“PARTIES ARE BAD. I MAY NOT KNOW MUCH, BUT I KNOW THAT”

^I mean, it depends on the party. The party I’m describing was my first college party, and yeah… not nearly as fun as what is advertised.

“Oh no. these kids may not be terrible, but they aren’t going to be good for SQ just because the poor kid was so sheltered”

^I mean, it would be fine that they do different things if they were more understanding and respectful of SQ, but they aren’t. They also make a lot of assumptions about him and make little effort to communicate with

“Oh no / Oh noooooooooo /I am relating to SQ way too much and that is a BAD THING”

^I wrote SQ based on my own experiences for this sort so… I’m guessing you’re also a neurodivergent person who got to experience the joy and wonder of an American Party College (together we can heal 🤝🏻)

“DON’T LET THEM PRESSURE YOU. THEY’RE MAKING IMMATURE CHOICES, BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO”

^don’t worry. SQ is the type of neurodivergent that’s immune to peer pressure (for better or for worse).

“Oh, buddy. DOn’t go to a party. Especially one that starts at eleven thirty at night”

^that was when the party was and I did get back at 2am with my ears ringing. What a time.

“Overstimulation. Yayyyyyy /s”

^Yeah…the music was the biggest disappointment. Play some music I can stim to, or at least turn the bass down enough so I can tell what the song is.

“I still don’t know what “rushing” is and I’m scared”

^Rushing is trying out for or applying to be in a sorority or fraternity. I’m happy to explain any other lines of dialogue or party terms that anyone doesn’t understand. Please lmk if you think any of it is inappropriate for the fic.

“DON’T DRINK THE ALCOHOL /BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD / Leave, buddy. Just leave. It’s not worth it”

^Good for you Sophie. You should never let peer pressure talk you into drinking or doing any kind of harmful behavior, but if you absolutely have to, for heavens sake don’t let them talk you into fireball. Ciders and Moscato maybe, something yummy, but shots? Something that doesn’t even taste good? A complete waste. Trust me I know.

“I know an Olivia! I hope this one is as nice as her…”

^I mean… this Olivia is nice by neurotypicals who like to party standards. That’s something.

“Poor SQ. I’ve never been to a party like that and I hope never to have to. I want to give him a hug”

^Me too, Sophie. Me too.

“VIOLET!!!!!!! Oh,at least she’ll be nice”

^Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhhhhhahahhhhahhhhahaaaaa….

Of course :)

“Is she not deaf? Interesting /So far she’s being really sweet to SQ, though, so that’s good”

^*continues to laugh nefariously*

“Ohhhhhhh / Invisible boat… /Bods, the way to describe that is beautiful”

^Thanks. I loved writing that, and I will tell you this: that painting really was made by Violet Hopefield.

“Oh dear. Poor Violet. I hope she’s okay…/ (Probably not, considering you, Bods, adskkfg /j /lh)”

^In some ways much better than you think. In some ways much worse. Maybe someday you’ll understand.

“But now she can help SQ! And hopefully he sees that and goes to her when he needs it / As long as nothing terrible happens to her”

^Oh don’t worry. Something tells me she’ll be fine. (And don’t worry about Brandon, he’ll be good. Curtain will write him a check to keep his mouth shut. Pay for his tuition).

“Ah no. The boys are going to be mean, aren’t they? Darn it. I was really hoping they might be nice / What kind of creep just walks over and starts touching someone else’s stuff??? / I hate them all. I really hope your college roommates were better than this, Bods”

^they were actually worse (didn’t touch my stuff but other things did happen). But the fic is T for teens so I had to keep it vague. Also much better now so don’t worry :)

“SQ. You need to leave. I promise, things are only going to get worse from here.”

^Oh don’t worry. He’ll be leaving soon enough :)

“I appreciated the little bluebird, though! That was sweet. I always love how you include the birds :)” 

^thanks! It’s a fun detail to write and I’m happy you like it.

“ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS AT THREE IN  THE MORNING IS BOUND TO BE VERY BAD”

^Yes, my roommates did wake me up at 3am with their tomfoolery. And then complained about me waking them up at the horrendous hour of 8am for my classes. What can I say, I was a monster.

“Oh, buddy… / More of Violet’s paintings!!! Yes, so much better than roommate conflicts” 

^Yes poor SQ. Thank goodness he has violet’s paintings to look at.

“YOU DID INCLUDE THAT SHE’S DEAF!!! / Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhh”

^Why of course. How could I forget a detail like that? :)

“I know the feeling of defending a professor others don’t like / (I want to deck these kids)”

^deck them? Now, Sophie, you don’t seem like a very violent person (I say as you’ve threatened to destroy my property several times).

“THE JANITORS AND CAMPUS SECURITY ARE BEING SUSPICIOUS???? /HHHHMMMM I WONDER WHY /s /j”

^Clearly Curtain has his best men reporting on his son 👍🏻

“Nooooo / SQ, don’t listen to them if they’re gossiping about you :(  /Bods, I’m getting really worried about your college experience…”

^It was years ago and it wasn’t all bad, I promise. I made some friends, I did what I needed to do, and now I’m in a better place.

“TALKING TO BIRDS IS FINE AND NORMAL. JERKS (Although, the SQ Disney Princess joke is pretty funny. But only when it’s being said in love)”

^Yeah the kids are mean. Although I made Jake and Devin guys so they can be SQ’s roommates, Ashley and Rachel are basically the girl versions of them.

“AJSFJSAKJFS The birds aren’t real thing took me completely by surprise oh my word asdjfjds”

^I’m glad you found that funny. Zach is quite a character for sure. He’s not based on anyone, I just needed more characters.

“And also poor Brandon”

^Yeah… he’s really drank the koolaid

“What kind of articles is Zach reading???”

^Gossip magazines and sensationalist headlines mostly

“THEY’RE TRYING TO GET RID OF HIM :(“

^Same thing happened to me. Only difference was that they couldn’t be bothered to talk to me in person most of time so I got the “Hey bestie 🥰👛💋💗😍 can you please leave forever?” texts. Good times.

“Come on, Violet, please be the comfort and wisdom this kid needs / Miss Perumal mention!!! He learned some sign!! Good job / She’s so nice to him, it’s really fantastic”

^Violet really is nice to him. Isn’t it wonderful? I’m so glad I was able to make your Violet Hopefield is SQ’s art teacher dreams come true. 🥰

“DEVIN /derogatory Oh no… Why are they so mean to him? /Good job being honest on the form! Hopefully you’ll find some people you can really be friends with soon”

^That was the response I gave on my form too. Only it was electronic and when I tried to fill it out without stating a reason for leaving, it gave me that little red * to indicate the question was required.

“Oh no Brandon!!!! / …At least they called someone? I mean, that’s, like, the bare minimum, but it’s better than doing nothing”

^Yeah most colleges (at least where I went) have those in case of a student overdoses or medical emergencies. Also the freezes look very unsettling and not entirely unlike an overdose. It’s weird that he’s still standing up, but he’s not blinking or responding so that’s enough to warrant a call.

“No, SQ, buddy, your dad would love to go to your art show. Even though he’s nuts. Aw man, this poor kid doesn’t really have any support system at all, does he?”

^”Even though he’s nuts” ashfllsjl;alfk- true but the way you said it is hilarious 😂. And no, SQ really doesn’t have a support system. Oh, If only he had a family member nearby looking out for him. ;)

“AFSKJKH:ASFKJHADFSHJKDAF / EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE /The S.O.S.!!!!!! / SQ’s conversation with the photos is so sweet and sad. You’re very good at writing dialogue, Bods”

^Aw… thank you Sophie! 🥰🥰🥰 and yep: the SOS is what the fic is about, they were bound to show up sooner or later.

“Bluebird!! /Oh, but SQ’s all on his own :( Poor kiddo”

^At least he has his bird

“Adam Adamson? Is this a reference? Or does he just have a silly name? Because that made me laugh out loud”

^It’s the reporter who was reporting on Garrison earlier with his co-host Barbara.

“It’s his birthday??? And he’s alone??? /Oh no/ Yes!!! Violet Hopefield hugs are the best <3 /Aw, and she got him a present!! She’s so nice :)”

^See Sophie? He’s not alone. And Violet is so considerate like that, I really feel like i’m nailing it, wouldn’t you agree? Such a lovely character…

“Oh dear. He’s just going to spill everything now, isn’t he? He hasn’t had anyone to talk to and it really needs to all come out”

^Indeed. But it’s always important to be very careful who you open up to. Thank goodness Violet is so open to hearing everything about his troubles. What a kind woman.

“It’s really interesting to see everything summarized from SQ’s perspective, especially because he doesn’t know everything”

^oh trust me. Sq’s not the only one…

“Violet is so good to him! It’s really nice how sweet and caring she is”

^It really is isn’t it? Gosh I love writing her so much :)

“And things are resolving! Slowly but surely, things look to be getting better! / Oh dangit I spoke too soon everything’s going wrong again / STOP BEING SO MEAN TO SQ, YOU BULLIES / I definitely know that feeling of being watched. And it does sound like a complete and total nightmare /Yay Violet!! She’s so helpful”

^ah yes. Sorry to make it all sad again, but at least Violet Hopefield is there to help poor dear sweet innocent SQ through his troubles.

“I love how open she is in the way that you write her. It’s a bit different from the Books, but it fits with Show canon and I do like it”

^thank you, Yes. She’s very open indeed. It’s nice she had so much time for SQ. No time to teach him painting or ASL, but plenty of time to get him alone and comfortable to talk about his troubles. It’s really quite nice of her.

“I love how all the adults are always like “Tea! That will make everything better!” Adsfjds”

^Especially because 50% of the time it’s because they are using the tea to knock each other out 😂

“So many big chunks of SQ dialogue in this chapter!!”

^Well he’s been missing for quite a while. We have some catching up to do.

“OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH / THINGS!!! THINGS ARE HAPPENING!!!!! / Interesting, and now we’re in no-dialogue territory for the flashback. Nice work”

^Thank you, I have been looking forward to the flash back for some time. It’s the first part of the chapter I wrote.

“Oh no!!! Is this Hildegarde Billingsly? I feel like it is. Either way, this poor woman…”

^Nope. Remember, Kate and Constance see Hildegarde get swept earlier, before 1x7 when SQ sneaks down here. This has to be someone else. Francis Lin was one of the names the kids decoded on Curtain’s “people to sweep” list.

““the one [they’re] not supposed to pressure without a direct order” / Interesting… Very interesting”

^Yep. In his own twisted way, Curtain still cares about Garrison, even as he’s forcing her to do this

“OH NO A SOCIAL WORKER. SHE’S JUST TRYING TO HELP THE KIDS D:  Oh, and her kids. Oh no, this is terrible All these families being destroyed, all those kids left completely alone”

^Yeah and SQ seeing this is pretty much giving him the worst opinion of his dad possible, especially with the way he sees his father’s men treat her

“HE. HE JUST FLAT-OUT ASKED IF CURTAIN KILLED HIS PARENTS. WHAT. THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL.”

^Again, after seeing something like that, it’s not a crazy thing to think. It was a popular fan theory for a while.

“BECAUSE CURTAIN THINKS IT IS HIS FAULT!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! GAH!!!”

^Yeah…but to SQ this looks really bad. Which is part of why he threatens to leave. But what’s interesting is even after discovering his dad might have killed his birth parents: SQ still confidently tells his dad off and declares he’s leaving forever. He doesn’t fight his father or try to defend himself because he thinks he doesn’t have to. Despite telling his dad that he “never loved him”, SQ still believes, on some level, that his dad does love him and would never hurt him, which is why the brain sweeping comes as such a shock and betrayal. Even after discovering how awful is dad is, SQ still believes Curtain love him because of the good and positive experiences he has had with his father. And now… well, to quote a heartbroken SQ: “I thought he loved me 💔”.

“Oh man, and this is going to ruin Garrison even more / (I suppose it could be worse if she hadn’t erased her own memories…)”

^Oh yes. More on her later…

“SDKJJIDS / AND HE SAYS THE SAME THINGS I’M SURE EVERYONE SAYS WHEN THIS HAPPENS /OH NO. OH NO.”

^In some ways yes, but SQ’s begging is different because this isn’t a stranger doing this to him. It’s his dad. His only family (that he knows of). The person who is suppose to love and protect him. And Curtain is still in a weird twisted way trying to do that by making it as painless as possible and promising SQ that he’ll be okay, even though this is objectively wrong and horrifying.

“Oh I am so full of emotions your floorboards are GONE there is nothing left in your house your soup spoons are MINE I am EATING your sheets and all your pencils have been OBLITERATED”

^As I said. Go ahead. Take my floorboards, my soup spoons, my pencils, everything. Throw it into the void. It was more than worth it. :)

“OH NO / NO NO NO NO / YOU DID NOT DO THIS TO ME / BODS /BODS, YOU DIDN’T”

^Oh I did, Sophie. I had to. And I enjoyed everyone second of it :)

“Okay, okay, listen to me. I was trying to figure out how to say that I loved your writing, but Violet was a bit overbearing and I wasn’t sure how I felt about her just magically “reading lips” all the time. Especially because where would she have learned to speak so well? That didn’t sound like something you would just forget. It was quite unsettling in the back of my mind the whole chapter, but I didn’t want to say it in such a way that was mean or could be taken as such. That’s why everything is so short, I was trying really hard to not react to Violet as a character until I had figured out what you were doing.”

^The reading lips thing is actually (as far as I know) from canon, so even though having her able to lip read so well is not the best representation, it’s also not entirely inaccurate for the character (but trust me plan to do or explain it a lot better). The main issue with her character here is how pushy she is. She isolates SQ and offers support to him and only him, no other student. She offers to help him prepare for the art show but doesn’t show him any techniques or offer any actual advice besides telling him he’s amazing (which SQ accepts and doesn’t question because he’s not used to positive feedback). She seems to have infinite amounts of time for SQ to make him comfortable and talk about his family, but no time to teach him art or sign language. Other students and faculty have very different perceptions of her and even though it’s framed as them being ableist, it’s still suspicious that she doesn’t seem to have anyone else in her corner, and that she seems to have been hired last minute and doesn’t even have a course textbook picked out. She shows up at the art show to support her students, yet only focuses on SQ and brings a gift for him and only him. She takes him out to dinner which seems nice given the circumstances but is also a little creepy. She also says he can talk to her about anything instead of recommend counselors or any other more appropriate support services. When he has his breakdown/panic attack, she invites him into her own home (unnecessary and inappropriate) and repeatedly and almost insistently invites her student on a vacation with her family instead of referring him to any kind of support services (complete and total red flag at this point. No other way to interpret this). I’m relieved you were able to pick up on these hints Sophie, because these are real tactics that people use to take advantage of vulnerable kids leaving abusive homes for the first time. I was a little worried about triggering people by having some of this stuff in here, but I also know my readers for this fic do skew younger, and figured maybe seeing examples of inappropriate behavior dressed up as caring could be beneficial or helpful when it comes to recognizing red flags.

“AND THEN / YOU GO AND DO THAT TO ME / OHOHOOHOHOHO / I am   S H R E D D I N G   every piece of tissue paper I can find in your house. / I— I am at a loss for words. Honestly. Expect to get what’s coming to you. Sooo. /ominous”

^Oh I am expecting a lot, Sophie. Thank you so much for your lovely comments! And don’t worry about SQ. His family’s methods might be rather inappropriate and unorthodox, but I assure you, his aunt only has his best interests at heart. :)

Thank you for these amazing comments and for reading my fic! I hope to have more for you soon, have a wonderful day! 🥰

@nobodysdaydreams

BODS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND I AM SCREAMING

HERE

[goldentournesol]

Be Careful What You Wish For

(Spencer Reid x Reader)

The one where Spencer gets exactly what he wished for, but it isn’t necessarily for the best.

Length: 5k 

A/N: this is based off of maybe one of the best requests i have ever received, thank you so much anon, your request really got my creative juices going! also i combined this request with another one, too <3 (angst, just straight up, with happy ending tho)

masterlist

The sun was shining against the glass windows of the car. The sunset was so beautiful with its melting and merging colors, Y/N wished it lasted longer so she could watch it. It’d been feeling like beautiful moments were few and far between lately. 

No one ever said being in a relationship was easy, but she’d never expected to drift this far from Spencer. She couldn’t exactly place the moment at which the descent of their relationship began, if she was being honest. One day, they’d be happy, smiling, full of love and life. And then the next, waves of darkness and despair would appear. They weren’t even the kinds of waves that would disappear with the shining sun. No, they were there to stay and fuel the storm that continues to rage on. 

Today was one of those days. To be fair, the whole team was struggling, but Spencer had taken Morgan’s departure a little harder than everyone else. It was understandable, of course. Derek was a staple in Spencer’s life for so long. However, for a man who’s seen and been through so many losses, he sure was terrible at dealing with them. Spencer’s tendency to keep things bottled up had definitely been affecting the overall health of their relationship. In fact, it has been the root of a lot of their arguments lately. Y/N just wanted him to let her in, let her help him and she was willing to wait however long it takes. Spencer on the other hand grew more and more snappy, irritable, and private with each passing day.

When they were at work, they tried their best to avoid each other so as to not get on each other’s nerves. Their fights usually didn’t turn into screaming matches, but they both had a track record of saying things they don’t mean. Hurtful things. Turns out profilers are fantastic at rubbing salt into open wounds. 

Ever since they began dating, Spencer took the subway less, opting for car rides with Y/N. Sometimes she’d drop him off, other times they’d spend the rest of the day at each other’s houses. She enjoyed driving him around, at first he was never too picky with the music she played, but later on, his music began to overtake hers. It never bothered her, in fact, she took it as a sign of him being vulnerable and sharing parts of himself.

The days where car rides once filled with joyous singing and laughter were coming to a shocking halt. The silence nowadays was almost always louder than the music they used to play. Even small talk felt like too much of a burden sometimes.

“Should I just drop you off at your place? Or do you wanna come over to mine? I still have some of that lasagna you liked in the fridge.” She asked softly as they slowed down into traffic. Rush hour in DC was never fun.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just have whatever’s at my place.” Spencer was being curt with his responses. Thus, the warning signs began flashing in her head.

“Are you sure? We can even pick something up from that one grocery store on our way home, something that goes well with the lasagna. I don’t mind cooking today.” She offered, hoping he wouldn’t shut her out like he usually did.

He shook his head, keeping his voice eerily level and his gaze was set on the road in front of him, “I just really wanna be home, Y/N.”

She nodded and whispered, “Okay.”

A short silence ensued as traffic began to thin out. Cars that were stuck bumper to bumper were beginning to move.

“Is this about Derek leaving?” She asked tentatively. He sighed and pursed his lips in response so she continued, “You know he said he was always a phone call away.”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Spencer said shortly, gazing out the window.

“You never want to talk about anything.” She said defeatedly, the car beginning to move freely on the road.

“Yeah, well maybe that’s true. Or maybe I just don’t want to talk to you.” Spencer spat, clearly growing impatient.

“Fine, don’t talk to me then. But talk to someone, anyone! Hell, talk to Derek himself. Tell him you hate him for leaving or whatever you’re feeling, but don’t take out your anger and unresolved feelings out on me, okay? I don’t deserve that! Everyday I try to get you to talk to me, but it seems like with every little step I take forward, you take two steps back. And it’s exhausting. It is fucking exhausting, Spencer.” She frowned, tears welling up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

“I didn’t ask you for that! I didn’t ask for you to be my personal therapist. If I wanted to see a therapist, I would have gone to see one!” Spencer gestured wildly with his hands as he spoke.

“Spencer, in a relationship, we’re supposed to confide in one another. It’s supposed to be comforting. I don’t want to be your therapist, I just want you to talk to me!” She unconsciously began to press on the pedal, perhaps in an attempt to reach a destination quicker. He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Relationship? You call this a relationship? We can barely stand to be in the same room together, Y/N.”

“And that’s why we talk it out. No relationship is ever perfect! You should know that, Spencer!” She shrieked, gripping the steering wheel in frustration.

“That’s not true. What I had with Maeve was perfect until it was ruined.” He uttered.

“Maeve?!” She squealed incredulously, “Really?! What you had with Maeve was perfect?! Spencer, what you had wasn’t real like us! You spoke to her over the phone once a week! You wrote to her in letters, where you have time to-to think and to respond! It isn’t like real life, it isn’t like you and me! What we have is real! I-I’ve lived with you, I’ve seen you torn to pieces, I’ve seen you laugh until you cry. That’s the you I fell in love with, not some fantasy I created of you over the phone!” She spoke but the words were garbled between incoming sobs that she was frantically wiping the remnants of off her cheeks. The same sobs she’d tried so hard to suppress. She was barely aware of the words that came out of her mouth.

“If what I had with Maeve wasn’t real, then why do I wish she were the one here with me instead of you?!” Spencer defended, unaware of how sharp his words were or how deeply they’d wounded her.

Her breath hitched in her throat, taking her already blurry vision off of the road in front of her to face him, “What?” She whispered brokenhearted, but the utterance was immediately swallowed by the unmistakable, earsplitting sound of metal clashing violently against metal. They had no choice but to succumb to the inundating darkness that rapidly overtook them both.

***

Spencer woke with a violent start and sat up in his own bed. He sighed in relief when he realized it was just a dream and it was morning again. Turning his head to look at the left side of the bed where she usually slept, he expected to find her there and was taken by surprise when she wasn’t. He rubbed at his face and eyes vigorously before hearing some clattering in the kitchen. With long strides he saw a blurry figure in the kitchen making coffee and walked towards it. 

He sighed in relief, “Hey, there you are. I just had the worst dream.” He huffed as he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck in his half-asleep state.

“Hey, good morning, lovebug.” She smiled and turned around to hug him tightly.

Something felt off. Something wasn’t right.

He’d heard that voice before. He pulled back from the hug and was met by…

It wasn’t Y/N. It was Maeve.

Spencer could barely control his expression as complete bone-stilling shock washed over his entire being, “M-Maeve?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong, honey? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She said, a kind smile resting upon her features. If Spencer wasn’t so shocked, he’d probably have laughed at the absurd truth of that statement. Maeve brought her hand up to his forehead, “Are you feeling okay?”

He didn’t even have time to be confused before he jerked back quickly at the touch of her hand, “I-uh, uh...I’m not feeling too g-good. Um...what’s happening?” He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes again, almost like they’d be polished and he’d see more clearly. But when he opened his eyes again, she was still there. Right in front of him. There was no light emitting from behind her, she was totally opaque. It was eerily real.

Her face was full of color and life and she was dressed in one of his cardigans over her own set of matching pajamas. She was moving and...alive. And speaking to him. What is happening right now?

“But y-you’re...how are you here right now? Am I still dreaming? Am I...Maeve, am I dead?” Spencer shook his head in an attempt to wake back up.

She began to laugh and pulled out a chair for him to sit on, and so he did, still staring up at her in disbelief, “No, baby, you’re very much alive. You’re probably just still confused from whatever nightmare you had. Here, have some water.”

“Y-yeah, yeah, confused. Um, what day is it?” Spencer began to pat on his chest to make sure he was solid and alive. 

She looked at him curiously at his strange behavior, “It’s April 5th, 2016.”

April 5th? Derek left the BAU near the end of March. A light bulb went off in his head. 

The BAU! 

They’d have all the answers. He shot up from his seat immediately, “I uh, have to get to work.” Spencer rushed to his bedroom to get dressed. 

As he’s dressing, he spots a picture frame on his bedside table. He knows the picture by heart, it was of him and Y/N in the pumpkin patch last year. He’d had his arms tightly wound around her shoulders and was kissing her cheek. The leaves were the most colorful they’d ever been. He picked it up and almost dropped it immediately like it had burned his skin. It was the same picture. 

But Y/N was nowhere to be seen. In her place was Maeve.

No, no, no. This isn’t right. 

Spencer began to panic as he buttoned up his shirt, he threw on his cardigan and practically flew out the door. In the distance, he could hear Maeve in the background calling out for him to drink his coffee before leaving.

The train ride to work was truly a test of his patience. He couldn’t keep his knee still and checked his watch religiously. After the train stopped, was the first one off and ran as fast as his poor feet could take him. He stopped running when he got to the FBI Headquarters as to not alarm anyone, but raced to the sixth floor anyway.

As he opened the glass doors he searched frantically for any familiar face, “Garcia!” He yelled as he spotted her bright yellow clad figure across the bullpen. He pushed through tired agents and messy desks to get to her. Everything else was the same, the office was just as he remembered it.

“Good morning, boy wonder! How are you today?” She smiled graciously, holding a few files in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

“Have you seen Y/N?” He asked impatiently. She pulled her brows together.

“Do you mean Y/N...Y/L/N?” She asked slowly, as if trying to recall her name.

“Yes, of course I mean Y/N Y/L/N. Who else would I be talking about?” Spencer asked, once again losing more of his patience.

“No, I haven’t seen her, to be honest. I don’t see much of the White-Collar Crime division up here unless Hotch asks for them. Why do you need Y/N? Is she okay?” Garcia casually answered, as if her answer hadn’t turned his world--this world--whatever the hell he was experiencing upside down.

“White-Collar crime? No, that can’t be right.” Spencer muttered to himself as his brain raced a million miles a second.

“Reid, is everything alright? Is there a possible case? Should I tell Hotch?” Garcia asked, but Spencer was barely listening.

 He was on his way back to the elevators again, leaving an extremely confused Penelope in his wake. He raced down to the fourth floor, to the White-Collar crime division. As the elevator doors opened, his eyes scanned the crowded floor for her.

“Dr. Reid! It’s nice to see you down here. What can I do for you?” An agent, Agent Seymour, he’s met perhaps once before asked him.

“Hi, yes, I’m um..looking for one of your agents. Agent Y/L/N.” Spencer stuttered, it was weird saying her name so formally. But he had to see it with his own eyes.

“Yes, of course, right this way. I think she just came in.” The agent led him to a desk in the middle of the bullpen and left him, saying that she was probably getting coffee and should be back an second. Spencer looked over her desk and compared it with how her desk at the BAU looked like. Gone were the trinkets and books he’d given her. Gone was the candle she never lit, but kept anyway because she said it smelled like him. It was like staring at a stranger’s desk, so desolate, so...un-special.

“Jeremy, stop. I almost spilled my coffee!” She giggled from behind him. He’d recognize her voice anywhere. He turned to see her and his lungs filled with relief as he spotted her familiar face across the bullpen. There she was, in all her glory. Looking as beautiful as ever. His Y/N. But the relief was ripped away all too suddenly as he watched on. She had her coffee in one hand and the other was swatting a very sheepish looking Jeremy, he assumed.

“I’m sorry, baby. I just missed you.” He spoke, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her lips. 

She blushed immediately and shied away, “Jeremy, we’re in the office!” She giggled again and pulled away from him, glancing around the office as if to check if anyone saw the moment of affection. Spencer’s blood boiled before he realized.

She looked so happy. 

So much happier than she ever looked when she was with him. His heart sank to his feet and he felt like he was incapable of lifting it back up to its rightful place in his chest. He wondered if this was the universe’s cruel, cruel way of letting him know just how shitty of a boyfriend he’s really been. Fire of envy festered in the place where his heart used to reside. He wasn’t sure if it was jealousy, resentment, or guilt. 

It all felt so strange. It felt like there was suddenly way too much pressure in his head. Before he could begin to compute the events unfolding before him, he realized she had spotted him at her desk and was now making her way across the bullpen, separating from her Jeremy. Before he could freak out, she was speaking to him. And all he could focus on was the shape of her lips and the faint memory of how they felt pushing against his.

“Dr. Reid! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you here?” She asked politely, but Spencer could tell that she was immeasurably confused by his presence, “Does Agent Hotchner need something from the White Collar crimes archives?”

Spencer panicked, “Yes! Um, he does...and um he asked me to ask you s-specifically. That’s why I’m here, heh.” He stammered like the nervous wreck he was and wiped his sweaty palms on the inside of his pockets.

“Okay, that’s no problem. Just tell me the number of the file and I’ll get it for you.” She smiled slightly, setting her cup of coffee down on her desk. At least her coffee order was still the same as it was. 

She disappeared for a few moments after he gave her a random sequence of numbers. Spencer wasn’t even sure how his legs were still capable of holding himself up. When she came back and he got a whiff of her perfume, his body completely stilled. He knows that scent like the back of his hand, he’d given it to her for their first anniversary. The fresh scent nearly sent him into anaphylactic shock. He’d accepted the file and scurried back to the sixth floor without another word, once again leaving a confused woman in his wake.

Spencer collapsed at his desk and rubbed his head like it would somehow fix this. Whatever this was. Everyone around him operated so normally and went about their day while he was seconds away from losing his mind. 

Was he having a schizophrenic scare? Did his symptoms bleed into his 30’s even though they weren’t supposed to? What was this alternate universe where he’d lost the one good thing he’s ever known? How was he supposed to get back? Did he want to go back? What would happen if he did? Would it be fair for Y/N to stick with him when he knew she would be so much happier with someone else? Would he try harder for her? Would he stop shutting her out? Would the woman he loved so dearly ever love him back?

He must not have ever been deserving of her love and the universe was punishing him in the worst way possible. To have her be within arm’s reach but to never be able to hold her. 

Once upon a time, he would have given up anything and everything to be with Maeve, but that was before Y/N. Before she gave him a new life, one he wanted to live. One where waking up wasn’t such a task. One where seeing her smile at him was enough to make him forget about all his worries. But now Y/N looked at him with barely a sliver of recognition. There was no affection or adoration behind those eyes and maybe he deserved that.

But how was this universe expecting him to go on like everything is fine? Like he hadn’t just lost the love of his life? No one else in this warped version of Spencer’s reality was feeling as dejected as Spencer was.

“Reid, are you feeling alright?” The voice of none other than Aaron Hotchner brought him out of his stupor. Spencer had unknowingly been sobbing into his hands for the past few minutes. Hotch was taken aback at the extent of Spencer’s disheveled state.

“H-Hotch, I need to go home. I can’t be here. I’m sorry.” Spencer packed his things and ran out the building before he realized he had nowhere to go. Home wasn’t his home anymore. He couldn’t exactly go back and see his dead girlfriend wandering around his apartment. He couldn’t be at work where Y/N was, so blissfully unaware of the crisis Spencer was in the middle of.

He wandered the streets of DC aimlessly as he tried to reorganize the events in his head and somehow make sense of them. Just a few days ago, he and Y/N had been holding one another on his couch. Sure, they’d been in a rut recently, but they still loved each other. At least that’s what he thought.

He walked and walked, miles on end, keeping his gaze on his feet as he tried to piece bits together. An IQ of 187 and he had absolutely no idea how whatever was happening to him happened. Even the multiple universes theory didn’t have his back. If he was ‘here’, where has ‘here’s’ Spencer gone? 

His feet had taken him to the local park, where he and Y/N used to sit under the stars. He found himself reminiscing the times they were together. He saw himself and Y/N in every couple that passed him by. Exhausted, Spencer took a seat on a patch of grass. He buried his face into his hands and tried to relieve himself of the headache he’d developed. 

“Hey, mister! Watch out!!” He heard a child yell way too loudly.

Groaning at the volume, he looked up to see the vague shape of a spinning baseball increasing in size as it moved closer….closer. Spencer had no time to react before he was knocked out cold by the baseball.

***

The first thing she’d heard was the incessant beeping of...something next to her. After that, she’d heard faint chatter. The voices sounded familiar but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. She whimpered in pain which caught the attention of everyone in the room. The chatter ceased. 

“Y/N? Honey, it’s Pen, can you hear me?” A voice called. She fought to open her eyes.

Why was it so hard to open her eyes? It was like they were glued shut. Why did everything hurt? What is that smell?

She made a small noise of agreement to the voice that called, but could not coordinate herself enough to speak or open her eyes.

“Y/N, darling, you’re in the hospital, okay? You were in a car accident.” She spoke softly. 

But the words weren’t soft at all. Her words had opened up a Pandora’s box of previously suppressed memories. Suddenly it was hard to breathe. It was hard to breathe as she tried to remember the last moments before the fog. She remembered seeing him so angry, eyes so wild. Who is he? So...so close. She whimpered in pain as she fought the fog away. 

Blood.

So much blood. 

Pain.

So much pain.

The others watched as she began to writhe against the hospital bed in discomfort. Her eyes snapped open the second she saw his face in her mind, frantically searching the room for him.

Spencer.

“Sp-Sp--” She began, but couldn’t formulate the rest of the word. Exhausted and defeated by the lack of his presence, she lay back on the bed.

“Hey, hey, calm down. Spencer’s...Spencer’s fine, alright? You can’t see him right now, but you will be able to.” Those words were the last thing she heard before she slipped off into a silent slumber.

Hours later, she awoke again. But this time with enough strength to open her eyes immediately. Her limbs felt like they weighed tons, she could barely lift a finger. The room was empty besides a single chair with a blurry figure seated in it.

“Spencer?” She uttered almost inaudibly and the figure moved.

“Hey there. Sorry, I’m not Spencer.” The figure moved closer and she recognized the blonde sheen.

“JJ.” Y/N croaked with relief, happy to see a friend. JJ promptly gave her some water in a cup and adjusted the bed so that she would be able to swallow it.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, taking the cup from Y/N’s trembling hands.

Y/N shook her head imperceptibly, “Is...Spence--is he?” Y/N barely got to finish her thought before the tears settled in.

“No, gosh, no. He’s alive. Thankfully, you both made it out alive.” JJ said with relief, leaning her elbows against the side of her bed. Y/N felt her breathing get easier as she learned of the news. She blinked hard, trying to control the tears, but they just flowed out.

“It’s my fault, JJ.” she paused to take a deep breath and JJ took one of her hands in hers, “I was the one driving. I should have been more careful. I-I was so mad.” She sobbed, the tears escaping.

“Hey, no, it’s alright now. Okay, you’ve both made it out alive, that’s what’s important.” JJ rubbed Y/N’s knuckles.

“W-where is he? I need to see him.” Y/N attempted to sit up but winced from the sharp pain in her side.

“Um..yeah, about that. You can’t really get up yet. You’ve got three broken ribs, a broken leg, and a severe concussion.” JJ delivered the news and Y/N’s tears seemed to flow even harder.

Before she could respond, Hotch, Penelope, and a nurse walked into the room, “Oh, sunshine! It’s so good to see you awake!” Penelope squealed and kissed her wet cheek gently before wiping away her tears. The nurse checked all her vitals and gave her some extra information before she left. Y/N forced a smile and sat back, but something in the room felt heavy.

“What’s going on? What aren’t you guys telling me?” Y/N frowned, staring at her friends. She saw them all exchange a look and Hotch being the most straightforward man she knows decided to deliver the news.

“It’s Spencer. Unfortunately, Spencer’s brain has swelled significantly and doctors don’t know when he’ll wake. It’s already been almost 42 hours since the accident.” Hotch frowned, watching Y/N’s expression turn from a hopeful one into one of the most unbearable expressions of grief.

“Wh--what, what does that mean? Does that mean he’s--is he ever going to wake up?” She began to panic, her heart rate audibly increasing. She squeezed JJ’s hand as hard as she could.

“We can’t be sure yet, the swelling has to go down before doctors can make any claims. It’s still too early to say he’s in a coma, which is a good sign. He’s also been showing steady signs of improvement.” Hotch said and Y/N covered her face to shield herself away from the embarrassment of openly sobbing.

JJ and Penelope both looked at the bruised and broken girl on the bed with tears brimming their eyes, unsure of what to do.

“I have to see him. Please. Please, JJ.” Y/N sobbed, pleading at the woman beside her. JJ looked towards Hotch for guidance.

“I’ll speak with the Doctor and see what I can do.” Hotch nodded once and left the room. Aaron Hotchner was simply a man you couldn’t say no to. Thankfully, this extended to doctors as well. The next time someone came in, they entered with a wheelchair. After many screams and with the help of three nurses and a doctor, they managed to get Y/N into the wheelchair. They rolled her off into Spencer’s room where he lay motionless on a bed just like hers. The sight of him so frail with so many tubes going in and out of his orifices should have overwhelmed her, but she was just so happy to see him breathing. Once again she could barely control her tears as she weakly gripped at the hand that was closest to her. She pressed sloppy, uncoordinated kisses to the back of his hand and pleaded for him to wake.

The sight was overwhelming, even for Hotch. It was difficult to see their two youngest agents fight for their lives.

And for the next two days, this is how it went. Y/N would wake from her slumber, request to see Spencer and would not leave his side unless her Doctor absolutely required her to. She didn’t care about what he’d said to her before the crash, she didn’t care. It didn’t matter. She just wanted him here. She wanted to hear his voice again. What a luxury that was.

Slowly, Spencer began improving. He’d begin to open his eyes but shut them immediately afterwards. He’d make noises, even though they were very garbled, they were very welcome. Y/N would read to him, she’d have any one of their friends bring over his favorite books and she’d pass the time reading to him. It was difficult at first, but she’d improved too.

On the fifth day, he was awake and fully conscious before she even got to his room.

He heard his teammates speaking around him again and what a relief it had been to wake in a hospital bed rather than his own bed. He let out a heavy sigh of relief as they updated him of what happened in the recent days. 

It wasn’t real. 

None of it was.

Maeve wasn’t there, Y/N was his, no one else’s.

He’d been sure of it when they’d rolled her into his room and near his bed, eyes lit with hope surrounded by healing scrapes and bruises.

“Spence? Spencer!” She exclaimed, “Oh thank God you’re awake.” She whispered trying her hardest to lean towards him on the bed.

Spencer fought to raise his arm to touch her arm, “Y/N? A-are you really here?” He whispered back.

“I’m here baby, I’m here. I’m never leaving you.” She sobbed, leaning her face into his awaiting palm. Spencer’s chest filled with immense relief as his thumbs caught her fallen tears.

“Y/N, wait--Y/N, I’m so sorry...I’m so sorry about what I said. I remember. I didn’t mean it. You’re the one for me. Life is perfect with you.” Spencer frowned as tears of his own raced down his cheeks.

Y/N shook her head, “It’s okay, I don’t care about that anymore. I could have lost you. I-if I had lost you, I would have lost myself Spencer. I love you so much. I love you so much.” She repeated as she kissed the palm of his hand. 

“I love you so much, Y/N.”

How could he have ever wished to live without this? Without her?

The universe had taught him his lesson and boy was he glad he had learned it.

[writingfandomfeels]

Tadashi Hamada - Drunk Karaoke

A/N: I wrote this yearssssss ago after first falling for Tadashi Hamada and being inspired by this clip of his voice actor Daniel Henney singing on YouTube for a different role. I hope you can listen to the audio and enjoy imagining Tadashi serenading you in this story <3 “No.” Tadashi breathed, staring at his phone. 

“What?” You asked, approaching him. 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This can’t be happening!!!” 

“What is it?” You repeated yourself. 

“I only got 65% on the last assignment! I don’t understand, I worked so hard!!!” He huffed. 

You searched yourself for some way to encourage him. “There’s other assignments right? I’m sure you’ll do better on them. Maybe just check with the professor on what you were getting wrong and see if you can make up for it?” 

“No, not in this class, she’s very strict. Absolutely no makeups, she’s warned us. I could still check why though so at least I’ll know… ” 

“Why don’t you come out with us tonight?” Fred offered, suddenly appearing in the back of the emptying nerd lab. “Yeah, you won’t be able to hear back from that teacher tonight anyways and you got nothing else to do. Have a little fun for a night. Wasabi is DDing” 

You looked to Tadashi, curious his response. Your boyfriend wasn’t much of a bar goer but he did go with his friends on occasion, usually as the designated driver though. 

He sighed. “Yeah, okay, might cheer me up after all this.” 

You crowded around the bar, each taking turns ordering. Except Fred. He took 3 shots and ran off to dance. Wasabi got a diet coke since he's the designated driver and Honey ordered a martini. Everyone looked surprised when Tadashi got ready to order too. 

He shrugged at their expressions. "It's been a long terrible day that I really just want to forget."

"Well if you're in the mood for forgetting..." Gogo paused and ordered some complicated drink then slid it to him. "It's my own little concoction. Strongest stuff I've ever had."

Tadashi eyed it hesitantly.

"I...don't know Gogo," Honey said looking at Tadashi. "You don't have to drink anything if you don't want to." She reminded him.

He shrugged. "Why not. What have I got to lose." He said and began drinking Gogo’s concoction.

"Hey! Look! It's karaoke night!" Wasabi said turning his attention to the stage opposite the bar.

Honey gasped. "Tadashi! You should sing!!"

You looked at him shocked and impressed. "You sing?!!"

He shook his head. "Only in the shower or when I don’t notice I’m doing it. I'm not nearly drunk enough for karaoke."

"Well then! That can be arranged!" You laughed and ordered him a shot.

He chuckled. "I would have never thought you the type to get someone drunk and take advantage of them." He teased.

"What can I say," you shrugged, "I love singers”

"Oh, do you?" He asked watching, interested.

You smiled at him coyly and he quickly took the shot. Not long later, he's making dumb jokes and like a hyper little kid. 

He giggled as he stared at you. 

"What?" You smirk.

"There's two’a you." He giggled more. "This is so awesome. I love having two’a you. But wait which one is the real you ‘cause I don'wanna acciden’ally kiss someone who's not my girlfriend." His eyes grew big as he slurred. "Whoa, yeah, that would be bad....but two of you!!!" He exclaimed excitedly again.

You laughed with Honey and Gogo at him.

"So does that mean you're drunk enough to sing for me now?" You asked.

"Sing?! OHH YEAHHHHH I WAS GONNA SIIIING FOR YOUUU, okay okay just....just wait here...." He said and got up from the bar stool, stumbling a bit. "Just stay here..." He held his hands up, "I'll I'll be right back...okay?"

"Okay, I'll be here." You smiled.

"Okay." He said and started to leave but then ran back to kiss you, catching you off guard, and then ran back to the stage. 

Gogo chuckled at your surprised look. "Yeah, he gets a bit clingy when he's drunk."

"A bit clingy?!" Honey said as if what Gogo said was a terrible exaggeration.

Gogo chuckled again. "Okay, a lot clingy! Once he wouldn't let Honey go to the bathroom alone." 

"He kept saying I was his best friend and not to go but I was like ‘Tadashi I really have to pee! And what about Fred he's your best friend too?’ Thankfully that got him distracted enough to tackle Fred with hugs instead of me." Honey explained. 

You laughed at the story with the girls.

"Next up! Ta-" the MC paused and looked at Tadashi who was just off stage "dude, I can't read your handwriting… what does it say?"

Tadashi just grabbed the mic from him instead.

"Heeeelloooooooooo Sanfransokyooooo! It is I, Tadashi Hamada, here to serenade you.....buuuuuuuut mostly just my girlfriend ‘cause she's a dork waffle and got me drunk so I would sing to her." He slurred. "But it's okay ‘cause she's really cute. Okay! This is a song! Called...ahh....umm....a thing, I dunno......anyways I umm OH! Oh it's starting!!! Everyone it's starting, shhhhh! Wasabi it's starting, look, shhhhh!!!"

You and the group laughed at him and Honey got out her phone to video it. Frankly, you were quite impressed with his talent. 

When he had finished, the whole bar applauded like mad. "Thank you!!!" He shouted and dropped the mic. He picked up his baseball cap that had fallen while he was head banging, then jumped off stage. 

You got up off your barstool to meet him. "You were amazing!!!!" You shouted over the new music playing. You reached your arms out to hug him but he pulled you into a sloppy kiss instead.

"Let's dance." He grinned and pulled you deeper into the crowd. 

Moments later, you bumped into Honey again.

"IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS EVERYWHERE!!!" She yelled over the music. "YOU GOTTA COME SEE FRED!!!!" She dragged you off behind her and soon you come within view of a mechanical bull that Fred was totally rocking. 

Having a few drinks in yourself, you decide you want to try it too after Fred. Tadashi didn’t realize this at first though, so got upset when he saw you getting on it. 

"WhAdder youuu doing?!!" He scolded. 

You shrugged. "Giving it a try."

"No no no no no!!" He said, running over and trying to carry you away from it. "I don't want you to get hurt!"

"But Fred didn't get hurt." You pointed out.

"But Fred is a idiot so even if he did I woulden’ be too worried. But you’re too pridddyyy t’ fall an’ break your face. Fred can break his face if he wants though." He slurred and pulled at your hand. "C'mon let’s do something else.” The drunken boy looked around the bar for something else to do. 

“LOOK DARTS I LOVE DARTS DON’T YOU LOVE DARTS?!" he said excitedly and pulled the darts from the board then backed up. "I'm sooooooooo good at darts, just watch me," he said, giving you a charming crooked grin and a wink. 

He threw the first dart and it hit the edge of the board. The second hit about 2 inches from the target, and the third....hit your forehead.

"Aaahhhhh!!!" You grabbed at your temple before looking down to see the bright red blood on your hands.

"OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He rushed over to you. "I'm SO sorry Y/N!!!!!" He apologized, looking at the cut and hugging you. "We gotta get Baymax! Baymax!! BAYMAX!!!" he began calling and wandering a little. "OW! BAYMAX! OW! BAYMAX! ACTIVATE!!"

You held your stinging temple and ran after him, grabbing his arm with your non-bloody hand. "Hun, Baymax is at home." You pointed out. 

"Oh" He paused, looking worriedly at the dripping blood. "Well let's go find him then!!!" He said, determinedly scooping you up into his arms and heading to the doors. 

Once outside he wandered up and down the street almost whacking your head on a light post. "Umm..." he hiccupped, "where are we??"

You laughed. "How bout we get Wasabi to drive us instead?"

He nodded, setting you down and going back inside with you to find your friend. 

***

“Aghh, my head…” Tadashi groaned the next morning. 

You rolled over in bed to face him. “Yeah, I know that feeling.” 

He looked at the bandaid plastered to your forehead. “Did I do that?” He moved his hand up to his head, groaning again. “Everything is so hazy.” 

“It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad.” You reassured. 

He turned over to pick up his phone, checking the time to see how late the two of you had slept in. In doing so though he noticed an email notification. 

“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe it.” He breathed. 

“What?” You asked curiously. 

“My professor… she’s actually going to let me make up my grade!” 

“That’s amazing!!!” You cheered. 

He looked at the time again. “Not if I don’t make it to meet her!” 

Tadashi jumped out of bed, instantly regretting the fast movement. 

You cringed as you watched him place a hand to his mouth, willing himself not to vomit. 

Hurriedly he changed out of his pyjamas and into the first clothes he could find. 

“Good luck!” You called after him as he rushed away.

[notasiren21]

26 for Lukanette WIPs please. :)

26. Party Crasher!Luka

I FUCKED UP AND JUST WROTE IT I GUESS???

Party Crasher

-Lukanette oneshot

“You mean to tell me Agreste ditched you? After all that pleading to let him take you to the party for your successful launch line for next season, he’s ditched you?”

“Kagami, don’t kill him.”

“Fine, remind me why I can’t though? This is such an ass move of his if he’s trying to prove he’s the one for you.”

“Because,” Marinette grits out, faking a toothy smile to a work couple that waves from passing, “I want to castrate and kill him myself.”

Kagami laughs roughly in surprise, “Why the castration?”

“So I can fit his small ass into the tightest pair of skinny jeans we have for our tall teenage girls.” The not so stoic girl sips on her wine, pleased with her friend’s rage. “I told him I haven’t been interested since we were 14, but him thinking I’ll forgive him if I even had a silver of interest in dating him? Fuck him.”

“Or,” Kagami drawls, long nails tapping the stem of her glass as she leans to peer over her friend’s shoulder, “You could fuck him instead?”

Mari gasps in offense, “I am NOT trying for a one night stand, no matter what you guys say.”

“No, you little mouse,” she admonishes, fully heartedly agreeing with the sentiment, “I just mean your big and handsome protective snake is here to save the day.”

Marinette’s mind took a second longer to click the pieces together, trying to make sense of Kagami’s nicknames for her friend group, before her heart thudded and she slowly turned.

There, passing by the models who had walked in Marinette’s designs and batted their false lashes at the rockstar, was Luka Couffaine.

Dressed to the nines in a very punk like and sophisticated way that revealed he very much wanted to impress her and did in fact listen to her fashion advice. Black skinny jeans only he could pull off, high top converse and a white button up with a black vest to overlay it. The cheeky and handsome bastard forgoing the tie to leave one too many buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up to reveal his tattoos.

Oh, on the life of his cat Sass was she proud of him.

And maybe drooling just a little?

He approached her, a sly smile working its way to his lips as he eyed her up and down, eyes shining bright at her black low cocktail that she paired with navy blue heels.

So maybe she sometimes used Luka as a whole for inspiration.

He raised a hand, finger wrapping around a loose curled tendril out of an elegantly messy low bun, “I thought it was the models you were supposed to make the stars of the show.”

“Had I known you were gonna show up, I would’ve worn one of my bests here.”

His hand froze, “This isn’t your best? You tease,” he broke out in a grin. His hand moved further, thumbing at the collection of piercings in her ear he accompanied her with to get years ago. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

“Well, I’m suddenly glad I can only acknowledge this as awkward and not feel it.” Kagami noted into her class. Her phone buzzed, electing a sigh from her as she began turning. “Have fun, my mother decided to remind me why this wine was a good idea to have before she came.”

She watched her friend walk away, her other -her best friend and other half, remained taking her in and stroking the soft spot under her ear he once claimed with a mark-

The one time they admitted their crushes and strong attraction towards the other the night before he left for tour years ago.

It was the only time Luka had indulged himself in his wants and desires, the only time he had asked to and still provided her with an out. And now he still remains far off in her memories, even as he stands in front of her with that look on his face years later.

“How did you,” she swallows when his soft gaze flicks back up to her eyes with his full attention. “How did you get in? It’s a ticket only event.”

He shrugged, turning to offer her an arm and walk around. “I may or may not have seen Adrien’s post about his mom and dad going to a gala event and him going to see his cousin there. Seems like that took precedence I guess.”

Marinette huffed low, “Félix has been in town for three weeks. Adrien and I had lunch with him the other day.”

Luka stilled as a busboy stopped in front of them, offering them glasses of champagne. Luka’s nose twitched, then his lip as he turned away with a polite smile. Marinette shook her head in turn as well.

“You know you don’t have to pass just because of me, right?”

“Hey, we do this ‘young 20 some year olds unable to drink alcohol’ in solidarity together.” He cracked a smile at that, “Soda is my alcohol.”

“Alright, you can be an honorary member of the alcohol intolerance club.” Luka laughed when she hummed gleefully. “Dork.”

“Nerd.”

“So, back on topic, Adrien just really had no excuse then?”

“Ha, no, even his dad stopped by an hour ago to congratulate me and get press photos done to promote the line. All his son did for me was send a text with a sad face attached to his cancellation.”

“... I can kick his ass, you know?”

“I know, I’m just saving for a rainy day.” She laughed, stepping closer to his side and wrapping both arms around his. “So, the ticket, you party crasher.”

“Right, yeah, I may or may not have called your assistant earlier today to swipe it. I took a guess that she held onto it for safe keeping so-,”

“She’s new, I’m not surprised she just gave it up that easily.” She let Luka guide her into a dance. One hand with painted black holding hers to his chest, the other gently tugging to hold his shoulder before he held her waist.

“Oh, that, that explains a lot now.”

“What?”

He flinched, a nervous glint flashing across his features. “I may or may not have lied about who exactly I was since she didn’t know my name-,”

“Doesn’t listen to your music, already told her the sin she was committing.”

“And who I was to you, specifically-,”

Marinette tilted her head back in a laugh, Luka’s arm tightening to brace her weight, “You said you were my husband, didn’t you?”

He flushes at a memory of once getting a creep off her back a year ago by claiming that very title to her.

“Erm, no, I said I was your boyfriend and may have sold it by saying some pet name and swooning over you just a little,” he watched her eyes go wide then soft, a smile twitching to show. He stepped closer, almost pulling her flush to him, “But if that’s what you want, I can go out and get some marriage certificate?”

She flushed, lips parting and a rush of air passing them.

“Maybe call Jagged up and fly us to Vegas? I mean, we’re both looking good right now, you more so.” Her face went a shade or two deeper. She jumped in surprise when he let go of her hand to play with a tendril again on the right side, tilting her face to press a kiss to her left cheek. “God, you’re such a pretty little thing.”

She squeaked.

“What, what was the pet name?”

“Hm?” He lazily met her gaze, a dream like haze filter over them as he moved her body to sway with his. “Oh, that.”

“What was it?”

Baby, babygirl, beautiful, gorgeous- he may have said more than one.

He gave a slow and wicked grin, twirling her out and back into his chest in a swift and stunning movement as he nudged his nose to hers.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teased, smile spreading wider and radiant as she forgot to breathe for a second.

What. A fucking. Tease.

The need for him to make good on his words and looks hit through her hard and reminded her of their one night together that they both never forgotten. And how much she wished that was every night, as long as it ended up with them curled right around each other and love and happiness coaxing them to sleep instead of stress and loneliness.

He watched her steel her gaze, her jaw tightened. He swallowed when her height, now of five feet thanks to heels, straightened and forced him to pull up. A violent shiver rocked through him when both hands held along the back of his neck, one slipping under the collar of his shirt to scratch along the nape.

“Marinette-,” he choked.

“I’m only asking so I can show my reciprocation.” She leaned closer, kicking her shoes off into some corner and standing on his converse that every elder of theirs had eyed in question during the night. He supported her actions fully, of course. Still stepping them around in dance within a fluid motion. “Not gonna tell me, hun?”

He coughed, loudly and looked away from her to catch his breath. Watching adults cheat on spouses everywhere or everyone else minding their own business to stare at models or the shrimp on the tables.

He almost tripped when she wined in protest, her hand gripping his chin lightly and turning it to face her. His eyes were flickering between admiration, lust and love, growing three shades of deeper blue than was possible.

“C’mon, baby, tell me.”

“Baby?” He stammered out in surprise. Teenage Luka was having a fucking field day with this. “Marinette, I was only joking earlier and-,”

“Were you really though?”

“No,” his response was fast and instant, a wince playing at the corner of his eyes and his button nose scrunching in loss of control.

“Hey handsome,” he preened under the nickname passing her lips, even if close to millions called him the same thing, it paid more effect when it was Marinette calling him it. “Tell me why you came tonight.”

His neck was aching from staring down to meet her eyes now that the heels were gone but he let himself down lower to press his forehead to hers. “Because you deserve better than what he gives you.”

The girl stilled, expecting an awkward or a flirtatious remark. “What?”

The rockstar looked away sheepishly, a little ashamed. “I know you’re considering getting with him, but when I heard he was canceling on you I let my jealousy win out and I just wanted to be there for you.” He bit his lip when he felt her tugging his face back in her direction, choosing to resist the pressure. “You have to believe me when I say I came with no ulterior motives other than protecting you from going stag to your own party tonight.”

“You, you came to protect me?”

He shrugged, another small shiver racking through him when her hands moved along and glided across his neck. “And make sure you had a good night. I even asked your mom what you were wearing tonight just so I could make sure my outfit complimented yours to cheer you up.”

She was silent for a minute or so, and he waited, patiently as ever and guiding her to rest her head against his chest as he swayed them.

Luka, doing all the work. Luka, taking matters into his own hands when someone fails her. Luka, going the extra mile to make sure she has a happy memory.

Fuck giving second chances to other people. Luka is the only one to have shown her he’s the most earning of the concept and notion.

She pulls away, feeling the slight reluctance in his arms on her waist before they drop to his side, “Grab my heels.”

He raises a black brow but complies, turning to find them and hooking his fingers in the backs. He eyes them, used to seeing her shoes laying around the Liberty when she comes over or even at her own place, but he always has to remark that, “You have small feet.”

“You’ve also called them cute,” she huffs, tugging on his hand and pulling him near the entrance.

He follows, like they always do for one another. “Because they are- where are we going?” He stops them as they round an empty corridor, away from the hotel’s event room where the party is still very much happening. The heel of his palm grips tight to archway, pressing against it, the small shoes still dangling in his hold.

“Home, your place or mine. Actually, mine’s closer.”

He laughs brightly, “You can’t ditch your own party for another movie night, Mari.”

The petite girl turns to him, a fierce expression in his eyes that makes him swallow harshly. “No, but I can ditch to celebrate in getting what I really want. For finally getting what I want.”

“The Chinese takeout place is closed this time of ni-,”

“You.”

“What?” Luka wheezes, he blinks stupidly at her. Prettily and stupidly. He straightens, freehand tugging at his collar a little like he needs room to breathe. “Come again?”

“I’m going home. I’m taking you with me. And we’re gonna celebrate that I finally got off my ass and got what I wanted.”

He hums, nervously and a bounce starting in his hand, a shake in one hand, his dark brows furrow, “And you want?”

“You.”

“You- you want,” he sucks in a sharp breath, pain flashing across his features as he clears his throat. “You want me?”

Her eyes soften, a smile showing as she steps closer to him and takes his face into her hands, pulling him down to be eye level with her as he braces his weight on the wall next to them with a hand.

“Yes,” he looks awestruck as she giggles. “I want you... can you let me keep you?”

He laughs nervously, “I’ll fucking sell myself to you if that’s what you really want, fuck.”

She’s smiling, leaning up on tiptoes to alleviate the strain in his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips, muffling the undignified noise of surprise that escapes him. She lets him get used to her for a second, kissing him slowly and purposely as starts to eventually overcome the shock and kiss her back in reverence.

He pulls away suddenly, a guilted expression on his face.

“Wait, wait. What about Adrien?”

“What about him?”

Luka fidgets, a quick glimpse of insecurities and jealousy showing to her before he regains a semblance of control after having his walls knocked down. “He’s been trying to go out with you, win you affections.”

He only knows of the situation, but never presses her to talk about it. It’s natural for it to come up in conversation everyday when he asks her about work knowing the stress of being twenty-two in a high end fashion company could be a bit more than overwhelming. He wanted to be a safe place to her since the beginning.

“There’s nothing about him. I’ve shut him down an handful of times and now it’s just a matter of letting him indulge himself in what he thinks are romantic gestures when me saying no doesn’t cut it. There’s nothing going on between him and I, just his belief that my crush from years ago accounts for something today.”

Luka still looks wary and isn’t touching her, most likely his conscious trying to be the better person between him and Adrien by not going out with the girl his friend is pining after.

Even if said girl is Luka’s legitimate best friend and the very same girl he’s been in love with since he was a kid.

Marinette feels like it’s a dirty tactic as she gets closer to him, trying to gauge where it’s jealousy and where it’s insecurity in regards to Adrien.

She presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Luka’s head turns minutely at the attention, tilting less than a centimeter to catch her lips before he catches himself. He struggles when her next kiss falls to his lips and is soft and slow, how he always wants to kiss her.

“Remember our first kiss?” She whispers, wounding arms around his waist and pressing close to him.

He matches her volume, an adoring look winning for a split second, “Of course I remember.”

“Remember our first date?”

“At the ice cream parlor, you wore a pink skirt that kept twirling when you did.” She feels his resolve break a little, his own right to be selfish with her slipping out a little.

His arms slip around her, and he presses a gentle kiss to her temple. “Remember our goodbye at the airport?” His arms tightening around her speak more volumes than his strained, “Yes,” does.

She’s just a little closer to convincing him to stop being so sacrificial with his own wants or needs. She just has to push more.

“Remember waking up in one another’s arms that morning?”

He’s silent for a few seconds, thinking of what he can say in response to that. Wondering how honest to be, “... every day, I think of that morning every day.”

She still hears the clipped apprehension in his voice. That tone she knows so well that’s gonna lead into him giving her advice to rethink this whole decision and talk to him when she’s absolutely sure. How she shouldn’t think on impulse and lunge at what she wants unless she knows she does wanna keep with it.

But, he has to know she always thinks back on moments with him and that she longs to have jumped on impulse if it meant being with him.

Every time he’s showed up with takeout at her place. When he smiles so freely at her. When he bandages her cuts and blisters from working all night long.

When he showed up tonight looking like he had been her dare to begin with. How her heart felt when he admitted to lying to her secretary. The way he looked carrying her high heels that were much too small for his hands but he didn’t care because she asked him to.

How he crashed her own party to make sure she’d have fun tonight.

She’s sure she wants this, him.

All those nicknames they could call each other. All the benefits of dating the other and having a date to everything the other needs to attend. Having her best friend be her boyfriend meaning there’s no holding back from anything.

She’ll cringe about it in the morning, but it’s gotta work to break his long instilled fear of being a bad friend or person. Of being unselfish.

“Do you still remember that night?”

She’s sure he’s stopped breaking by the way his entire body seems to shut down, but then it reboots and he’s shaking against her and can’t seem to breathe correctly, his eyes avoiding hers as he swallows again and looking like he’s willing to risk going into an allergic reaction for the sake of one drink.

“That- that’s not something you forget, Marinette.” His hands are twitching on her waist, grip tightening just a little and a vein is jumping in his arm to do something to prove he remembers alright.

One more push, “Do you still remember how I tasted that night?”

He seizes her waist, lunging to kiss her desperately like he did that night and when he left, a growl passing his lips onto hers. He’s cupping the back of her neck, fingers threading through her hair, breathing her in and shaking against her as his resolves breaks completely and the selfish side comes out. The one that’s nowhere near as selfish as the average person, but enough to take in the matter of his own needs and wants. He pulls back, letting her watch his eyes darken, the pupils expanding until the blues are next to near mere ridges of color. He’s watching hers do the same before he nudges her nose and kisses her slowly, more loving and affectionate. His control slipping back into place and resulting in the Luka she so loves regaining the handles of his own mind.

He’s careful in the way he tugs her lip with his teeth, how he coaxes her to let him kiss her fully before pull back and panting against her lips.

“Yes, I remember,” his voice is rough and he has to glance away from her and straighten. She watches him take a few meditative breaths before he looks back at her.

“Does that really help?” She gestures to his chest and mouth, “the breathing?”

He laughs hollowly, “No, not really, but it bought me time to create some distance in this,” he glances around, “Not your apartment place.”

She laughs at the suddenly horrified look that crosses his face, the image of them making out and the threat of almost being caught in public instantly dawning on him. He glares playfully at her.

“You did that all on purpose.”

“Had to, you were just about to give me up for the sake of being a good friend to me and Adrien.” She pauses, a wicked idea forming to prove her point, “Unless, you want Adrien to know what that all is like?”

A dark look crosses Luka’s face; unrestrained bouts of suppressed jealousy, possessiveness and territoriality. “No,” he growls out, eyes squeezing shut and having to clear his throat. “I’d rather not let him know any of that personally.”

“Not even how I taste?”

“Marinette,” he warned, the growl resurfacing. She cooed, wrapping him up in a hug and pressing a kiss to his jaw as an apology. He whined, “It’s not funny when you do that.”

“No, but everything you feel is alright to feel. Don’t hold back for the sake of not being selfish. You can be selfish with me, you’re a reasonable guy and know boundaries.” She sighed, nuzzling further into his warm embrace. “I don’t like Adrien the way he wants me to, and lately, it’s hard to even be his friend. He needs to move on from me. Hell, I’m better friends with Félix now than him.”

“Just hope they don’t switch up on you again.”

She huffed in amusement. “God no, I’d kill them.”

“It’s adorable how how your less than five feet body resorts to violence and death threats.”

“Mm, except you, I’m quite fond of you.” She looks up at him, chin pressed to his chest and smiling when he looks at her softly and presses a kiss to her nose. “This, us, is not an impulse. Just a restrained want I’ve had for awhile.”

“Okay, I understand now.”

She grins cheekily at him, “Or need, if that makes you all possessive hot yet secretly adorable rockstar boyfriend mode again.”

“Boyfriend?” He smiled slowly, radiant as always and heart stopping. “If teenage me could hear you, he’d probably shut down from being overwhelmed.”

“Nineteen year old you certainly didn’t that night,” she mumbles, grinning at the loud bark of laughter that surprises the both of them when Luka throws his head back.

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me what age I lost it at, totally rockstar of me, right?” The blush that’s coating his neck and ears is adorable, a shy smile quirking at her briefly.

“I think it’s sweet, cute even.”

“Yeah, because you’re the one I lost it to.” He deadpanned without conviction. “But, I guess I’ll take being sweet and cute.”

“It’s okay though, I mean, I did the cliché of losing my virginity to someone I was in love with.” Luka does in fact shut down in her embrace hearing that. Hands jittering against her and fingers tapping like he’s trying to speak through notes against her skin.

He takes another minute, before pressing a kiss to her hair. “If this is you confessing your love to me -and believe me, it’s killing me to stop you right now, I’d rather you do it in regards to another topic and not the fact that we were one another’s first time.” He avoids the dangerous smirk aimed his way, or the sharp angle of her cocked, black brow above breathtaking blues. “C’mon, let’s go dance some more and celebrate your success before we leave, maybe find your assistant to introduce me as your boyfriend to.”

She pours at him when he tugs on her hand in the direction of the party. “But-,”

He breathed out shakily, a waning patient look in his eyes and a false smirk aimed at her. “Can I sleep over tonight?”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes,” he breathed. “I’m very close to just following you home at this point, trust me. I don’t care how the night ends, just as long as it’s you and me tonight.”

She’s letting him make them dance again, feeling as the nerves leave his body as he gets them to fall in step with the tempo. He doesn’t care that he has to bend a little ways down to rest his cheek on her hair, not when she’s letting him pull her up against his chest when she typically only reaches the bottom of his rib cage.

They work well together, they fit perfectly together because they’re more than used to the instinctive adapting to one another.

Her hands cup his cheeks, kissing him carefully without reservation and the anxiety, “It was only an impulse at times because I love you and have for awhile.”

Luka deepens the kiss just a little, thankful she’s the type of girlfriend to let him indulge in her as he smiles, “I get it, I’ve had my share of impulsive thoughts for as long as I’ve been in love with you since we were young. I love you, Mari.”

“Enough to crash a party for me, apparently,” she whispered, a little moved by the thought that they were finally together. He thumbed her tears away.

“Enough to kill Adrien or Félix if you ask me to,” he replied in a loving tone, soothing her gasps for air when she broke apart in giggles against his chest in reaction.

He didn’t leave after that night. And he went to every party as her date too.