#yeah maybe I want my parents to be proud of me but honestly I couldn’t give a fuck about what they say because that ship has sailed

[gremlinmodetweeker]

A Question Best Left Unanswered

Okay so this one kinda got away from me and I had a grand old time with it. It's so silly and stupid but it brought me joy.

Anyways, have some more Summoned!König. This time featuring relationship angst and questions about anatomy.

TWs: discussion of sexual activity, NSFW content

Wordcount: 4.2K (it's a whopper here)

Story below the cut

Images courtesy of this post

A Question Best Left Unanswered

You hung your head in shame as you hung up the phone. What a disaster that last call had been.

The entire hour-long phonecall you’d just had with your parents had just ended up with them berating you for a good forty-five minutes before they gave up on trying to reach you. First your father had shamed you for ruining the family name, then your mother cried that she didn’t know where she went wrong with you. All those years of preparing you to be a summoner, only for you to turn out to be a miserable failure.

By the end, you’d just barely been able to hold back your tears. Once you hung up the phone, they fell freely down your cheeks as you hurriedly scurried to your room.

Of course, it couldn’t be so simple because your friend had just turned the corner as you reached your door.

“Hey!” she called with a wave, only to retract it nervously when you turned to face her, “woah. Are you okay?”

You nodded but before you could leave, your friend clasped a hand on your shoulder.

“You’re not okay,” she said grimly, “do you want to get something from the caf?”

You hesitated. Normally, you wouldn’t be willing to eat anything until dinner came around, but the call with your parents sat wrong in your stomach. It wasn’t much, but maybe a bite to eat would help.

“Sure,” you conceded, “let’s go.”

---

With a plate of crackers and fruit in front of you, the most the chefs on base would give you, you broke down and told your friend about the call.

“Your parents suck,” your friend spat, “like, who does that? I just can’t believe anyone would say that, especially not to their own kid.”

“They’re not usually that bad,” you weakly tried to defend them, but today your heart just wasn’t in it.

“Are you sure?” your friend asked as they took a bite of their veggie sandwich.

You sighed heavily.

“I just wish they would as least pretend to be proud of me,” you stirred your drink with your straw slowly, “I mean, I didn’t ask to be born like this. Why is it my fault that I can’t control my summon? He’s literally an avatar. An avatar. Those are like, the hardest summons to try to control.”

“Actually I think a legend might be,” your friend interjected, food spitting out their mouth as they spoke, “or maybe an immortal. I don’t think anyone’s managed to control a god before…”

“Okay yeah sure but it doesn't change the fact that he’s an avatar. Of chaos,” you wiped the chewed up spittle off your sleeves with a brush of your hand, “and I’m, well, you know, me. There’s no way I can handle König.”

“His name is König?” your friend asked.

“Yeah,” you took a sip of your drink, “he’s pretty nice honestly. Last week he got me my stuffed animals and the game boy I lost from my old home.”

Your friend looked at you with wide, unblinking eyes. Their jaw dropped to their chest for a moment before they were able to gather their composure.

“No fucking way,” she muttered.

“What?” you snorted, “aren’t all summons like that?”

Your friend shook her head hard enough to make you worry her neck would snap.

“No? I don’t even know my fire imp’s name, or my water sprite. They’re just my summons,” your friend explained, “most of the time they just tolerate me because they can’t kill me.”

“Don’t you form bonds with them?” you asked, now curious.

“Nope,” your friend snorted, “my water imp sprite tried to drown me when I first summoned it. Most summons try to kill their summoners as soon as they figure out that they’re not in the other realm.”

“König’s never hurt me,” you admitted.

“Never? Has he ever tried to?” your friend leaned back with an awestruck expression.

“Not once,” you confided.

“So you’re not the one that made König your mate?” your friend put together slowly, “König made you his mate!?”

You grimaced and leaned back from her, “Pretty much.”

Your friend whistled, “No fuckin’ shot. I can’t believe you bagged an avatar of chaos. Like, you realize how insane that sounds, right?”

You blinked. You hadn’t really thought about it that way. You’d always just seen it as König sparing your life, but the thought that somehow you were the one to seduce an avatar of chaos brought you a spark of joy.

“I guess you’re right,” you agreed timidly, “I just thought that he was lonely.”

Your friend snorted, “I mean probably, yeah, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he chose you as a mate,” she thought for a moment, took a bite of her sandwich and then asked, “wait, so if you’re a human and he’s an avatar, what will your kids look like?”

You flushed and turned to hide your face, but your friend was quicker.

“Wait, have you actually thought about that?” she teased you lightly.

“I mean, we’ve never actually… You know… We’re not really a couple,” you admitted.

“So you’re not banging him?” your friend raised an eyebrow.

“No?” you gasped, horrified by your friend’s suggestions, “I barely even know him!”

“But like,” your friend pressed their lips into a line. She studied you carefully before she finally asked, “Aren’t you curious?”

“About what? Fucking him?” you raised your eyebrows at the suggestion.

“I mean yeah, but like…” your friend leaned in close again, “what does he even look like?”

“I…” you paused, “I actually don’t know.”

Your friend took a bite of her salad before pointing her fork at you, “We need to fix that.”

“We!?”

“Well now I’m curious,” your friend shrugged, “so now it’s not an ish-you kind of problem, it’s an ish-us.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” you sputtered.

“Point is that I-sorry we need to figure this out. I mean,” your friend tossed you a sly look, “if you’re gonna have his kids you’re gonna have to find out one way or another.”

You were at a loss for words. All you could do was stare at the woman who sat across the table from you, almost as though she herself were an avatar of chaos.

Your friend scowled, “What?”

—

You slowed your pace to a crawl as you approached your dorm. It wasn’t that you weren’t eager to go to bed, rather the contrary, but the thought of facing König tonight made your cheeks burn bright red.

Ever since your conversation with your friend, you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about König. You already thought about König a bit too much for your own comfort, but you’d never thought about König like this before. It wasn’t like you were a prude by any means, but you’d never actually considered being with König like that before.

It’s not that it had never come up, you still remembered König trying to take you almost immediately after claiming you as his mate, but ever since he’d been nothing but respectful of the boundaries you'd since put up If anything, he was sometimes more respectful of your own boundaries than you were. Maybe he read your mind more than he let on, but you liked to think he was just thoughtful. After all, if you’d been around since the beginning of time, wouldn’t you be considerate and patient? You liked to think you’d be, but you had your doubts.

Thinking about König had you blushing as you walked down the hallway to your dorm. You could see the door all the way from here, only occasionally being obscured by a summoner retreating into their dorm for the evening. Occasionally, you could see a summon tagging behind them, most often looking rather irritated or depressed, something you’d never really noticed before.

Most summons were kept in the other realm unless they were actively being called upon. Some summoners like to keep their summons by their side, almost as though they were a beloved pet. You thought to your meditation teacher with his summon. Other times, you saw summoners struggling to manage their summons. In fact, the one class you excelled in was protecting yourself against your summon. Of course, the only reason you did so well was because König never tried to attack you in the first place. Your sergeant had been frustrated at first, but after further consideration decided to take it as your summon being too attached to you to consider attacking you. With this in mind, she gave you a bright and shining report. She then promptly told you to never take her class again. You were more than happy to comply.

Of course, König didn’t always help during your training. In fact, he seemed to prefer leaving you to your own devices whenever possible. He’d once explained that he gave you minimal support to encourage you to train harder to keep up with your peers, but you decidedly figured it was because he was too lazy to help. König only rolled his eyes when you told him that and decidedly vanished to the other realm for the rest of the night.

Your doorway grew closer and closer with each step you took. You wished that you could find a way to avoid going back to your dorm, but lights out drew nearer and nearer the longer your tried to put off entering your one personal area.

Finally, you reached your dorm. With a heavy sigh, you opened the door and stepped inside.

Surprisingly, König wasn’t there to greet you.

“König?” you called out carefully, but no reply came back to you.

You walked towards your desk.

“König?” you called again, but again there was no response.

Maybe he was occupied for the evening.

A sudden rush of relief overcame you. The absolute last thing you wanted to do was face König while your conversation with your friend was still fresh on your mind. That said, you had the strong suspicion that a night of good rest wouldn’t be enough to shake the thoughts from your head. With the way the question had fixed itself to your mind, you had the dreadful feeling that the only way to find some sort of satisfactory answer was to progress your relationship with König.

But were you ready to go that far? You’d shared a kiss, but since then, König had kept his distance. He was strangely considerate of the trepidation you felt whenever the thought of being in a romantic relationship with König crossed your mind. How would that even work? You were a mortal. Your life was but a blink of his eyes. And yet, despite your limited lifespan, he chose to spend this fraction of his life by your side. Was he amused by the whims of his new plaything? Was he simply toying with you until he chose to rend the soul from your mortal flesh? The thought made you nauseous.

But why did it make you nauseous? Why did the thought of König’s ultimate betrayal feel like a stone in the pit of your stomach? Why did your eyes sting and your throat clench when you thought of how little you matter to a being as grand and powerful as König?

You had an idea of what was behind the feelings, but you daren’t give it any room to breath, never mind grow within your mind’s garden. You’d instead stamp it out, coat it in salt and rip it from the earth like a weed. Of course, the roots went deeper than you could imagine.

You slumped into the plushest chair your company could buy in the corner of your room. It was worn, tired; it had seen many generations of new and upcoming summoners such as yourself. The thought gave way to an ache deep inside your chest.

You wiped your sleeves over the tears that flowed from your eyes. You didn’t consider yourself to be of the weeping sort, but since König had entered your life, he’d seemingly turned everything upside down, including how you operated in your day-to-day life. A part of you hated it, a louder part wished to take it all with open arms. You despised both parts for their respective tenacity. 

You allowed yourself to curl up for what felt like forever before you managed to come to terms with your fears.

You would be nothing to him. You were a speck in his eye, if anything. You were naught but dust, and you would have to content yourself with such an existence. Now as to why König had taken such a shining to you, that was beyond your comprehension. If you had the mind of Aristotle, Diogenes, or Plato maybe you could have come to terms with your existence in relation to the greater world. Had you a mind of Camus, Cant or Descarte maybe you could content yourself with the meaning of your existence itself. But you had no such mind, now did you? You were weak and feeble, a summoner with all the potential one could hope for at your fingertips yet hindered by your own inability to understand the ethos of methods that had been passed on like the summoners passed before them.

You felt the tears subside briefly to allow you a moment to recover from the throes of your emotions. Unfortunately, just as you felt yourself wrangling your emotions back under your control, the pot lights flickered.

“No not now…” you groaned and curled further into the safety of the chair.

“Did I come at a bad time?” König crossed his arms as he stared at you from the centre of the room.

“Can you please go away?” you sighed as you turned away from him.

König hummed before stalking to your side, “I think that it would be wrong of me to abandon my mate when they’re in such a state.”

At the mention of ��mate’, you groaned and ducked your head between your knees.

König paused, then drew away. He came back moments later to swath you in a warm blanket before he crouched in front of you.

“It seems something troubles you, summoner,” König droned as you drew the blankets around your form.

“I’m fine,” you spat bitterly.

König barked out a laugh before ruffling your hair affectionately, “You certainly are in quite a mood, aren’t you?”

“Just go away,” you grumbled.

König drummed his claws over his knee. His scales rippled in the crepuscular light that shone into your room, his onyx scales shining almost iridescent in the warm dying rays of sun.

“Must I read my mate’s mind to understand what troubles them so?”

You grumbled and ducked your head under the blanket.

König sighed. He stretched up with cracking joints, and you’d hoped he’d left until you felt him pull your blankets from your head. You tried to struggle against him, but he didn’t so much as budge while you writhed. With a sigh, you conceded and allowed him to pull the blankets to the side to see you properly.

“Well, summoner?”

“I just was thinking about us…” you admitted.

“Us? In what sense?” König asked, already fully aware of your answer.

“Like, we’re mates, right?” you tucked your nose to your knees, “but I don’t know why.”

König hummed, then drew you up into his arms. You struggled and spat, but he held you before he sat down on the sofa with a loud poomf as the air was punched out from the pillows.

“You don’t understand why I chose you,” König surmised quickly.

You didn’t dare meet his eyes as you nodded.

“Well,” König adjusted you so you sat upright in his lap, “I’d say it makes perfect sense.”

You stared at him blankly.

“That reaction of yours is exactly why it makes sense,” König explained, “a being of chaos is likely to tear you asunder. Maybe enslave you, maybe curse you for thousands of generations to come. It’s expected that something horrible would happen.”

“So you chose me because it was the random choice?” you asked.

“I chose you because I saw your potential,” König explained, “and, of course, you're right as what greater delight is there than to choose the opposite of the expected outcome? Why follow your expected order when I can tie you to my side for millennia to come?”

You scowled, “So you chose to be my mate because you thought it would be funny.”

König shook his head, “You could take it that way, but that would be unwise. Rather, I chose you as a mate because I saw your potential and wanted to see it through.

“You were set up to fail, you realize this?" König stared deep into your eyes, "the chalk you used to summon me was imbued to ensure that whatever was summoned would be more than you could ever hope to control. The patterns they gave you were far too complex for a beginner summoner. You were supposed to be torn apart.”

You froze in König’s arms.

“Yes, you were meant to die. But when I looked at you, marked for death by those envious of your potential,” König’s smirk was woven into his words, “I saw that potential of yours and I saw an opportunity. I saw a way to usurp the delicate balance of power this world has.”

“So I’m a pawn to you,” you felt the tears stinging behind your eyes again.

“Not in the slightest,” König chided you patiently, “I saw you for your potential and I saw someone who just needed a push. Someone who just needed someone to help them see their own worth. And that someone, dear summoner, was none other than myself.”

“That still makes me sound like a pawn,” you complained.

“Then I’ll tell you this: I chose you because I saw what we could become together,” König whispered into your ear, “I see you now, mind you. I see you and I am enthralled by you in all your strange and truly wonderful ways.

“I want you to listen carefully summoner, as this is a lesson that will be tattooed into your veins: I love you for you. I love you for who you’ve been, who you are, who you will be. I love you for all of you, completely and forever.”

You flushed brightly. Instead of replying, you simply tucked your face into yourself to avoid having to meet his eyes. Of course, the joy of being loved could only last so long in the shadow of a more pressing problem.

“I’m assuming forever is until I die,” you sighed.

“Yes? That’s what will happen, yes,” König told you plainly, “as it will happen to myself. We will die together.”

Your eyes snapped wide open as you whirled around to look him in the eyes.

“Calm yourself, summoner,” König huffed, “what makes you think that will be soon?”

“I mean, soon for you,” you muttered bitterly.

“Soon for me?” König chortled, “I don’t think that day will come anytime soon. You’re my mate summoner, you’ll be with me until we die.”

You stared at him, “So, in seventy years?”

König reeled back in shock, “Seventy years? That’s nothing! You’ll be with me for the rest of my natural life!”

You blinked.

“But…” you glared at him, “but that’s like… I’ll never get that old.”

“Summoner,” König drawled, "have you not considered that when mated to me, certain aspects of your life will change?”

Honestly, the thought hadn’t crossed your mind.

“No, you didn’t think that,” König concluded after looking into your eyes, “well let me be the one to inform you that your natural life has been extended exponentially to match mine. You’ll be with me until the bitter end, I’m afraid. Or at least, for as long as you’ll take me as your mate.”

“I mean, I’m pretty happy with you,” you admitted.

“I’d hope so,” König sniffed.

“Don’t be like that,” you huffed.

“Be like what, upset that you’d be anything other than infatuated with me?” König retorted.

“Infatuated?” you laughed, “that’s a lot to ask for, isn’t it?”

“Not when it’s already provided,” König booped your nose, much to your dismay.

“I’m not infatuated-what? Where are you getting that from!?” you snapped as König threw his head back with a gurgling laugh.

“I jest, summoner,” König gave you a light kiss from beneath his mask, feeling more like being pinched by something sharp than being kissed on the cheek. You pushed his face away which he only just allowed before hugging you close.

“Now, summoner,” König rubbed his cheek against yours, leaving behind a thin sheen of something that smelled strongly of König, “I can tell there is more on your mind.”

“No there isn’t,” you lied weakly.

“No? There’s nothing I can answer for you?” König trilled.

“Nope,” you turned your face away from him, “I know everything.”

“Not yet, summoner,” König laughed.

“And who are you to question my endless knowledge?” you huffed haughtily as you cast him a downright scathing side-eye.

“Oh, nobody important,” König lay back in the seat, “only the being that saw the creation of your universe and will live to see its death.”

You rolled your eyes, already over his ‘holier than thou’, or rather, ‘more worldly than thou’ attitude.

“So tell me summoner,” König’s hand wandered down your torso, “isn’t there more on your mind?”

You flushed scarlet. He really was determined to get to the bottom of this, wasn’t he? A part of you felt that he was only pushing you this way to further tease you, but you couldn’t help the genuine curiosity bubbling forth.

“I mean, maybe,” you conceded, “but it’s nothing important.”

“I would say otherwise,” König tucked your face into his clavicle.

“Well,” you started, emboldened now that you didn’t have to look your mate in the eyes, “I was talking with a friend about you.”

“Were you now?” König drawled.

“And uh, we were talking about how you chose to be my mate, not the other way around. So, we got to talking about it, and…” you trailed off shamefully.

“Talking about us being mates? I can imagine a great myriad of topics can come forth from such a nebulous beginning,” König brushed his claws through your hair with surprisingly tender care.

“Well, we were kinda talking about what it would be like for you to fuck me?” you squeaked out.

König paused in his ministrations, seemingly shocked by your forwardness.

“I’d hope it would be pleasurable for both of us,” König stated, still befuddled by your answer.

“Well that’s what we started talking about, and then it went on to what your dick looked like?” if you didn’t think your voice could go any higher, you’d be poorly mistaken.

König slowly leaned back to be able to look you in the eyes.

His voice sounded like it was coming from deep under the ocean, “Excuse me?”

If you weren’t so embarrassed you might have laughed at your ability to shock a being older than time itself. Evidently, though König could see the ways time shifted and cross, was able to see all the possible outcomes of an event, even he couldn’t predict just how horny you were.

“I mean, it’s just like,” you shrugged, “if I wanna have your kid I’d probably have to figure it out at some point, right?”

König nodded mutely.

“Do you…” you looked him dead in the eyes, “do you even have a dick?”

König blinked.

“Yes?” he stared back at you, “I mean, what did you expect?”

You shrugged, “Maybe a cloaca?”

You could see the furious horror that washed over König’s face despite the mask.

“I do not have a cloaca and whoever told you that is a cheat, a fiend and a liar!”

Evidently someone had history.

“It’s a reasonable thing to think!” you protested, “I mean, you’ve got this whole bird-y ocean thing going on with you? It’s a vibe, sure, but it doesn’t give me much room to work with.”

"I have a what-You know what, nevermind, I don’t want to hear it,” König groaned as he rolled his eyes, “but yes I do in fact have a ‘dick’ as you refer to it. I don’t know why you’d think-”

“It was the water bird thing!”

“Why you’d think my 'vibe' might change that. I am… Wait, I don’t actually know what your species looks like,” König dropped his hands, “one moment please summoner,” he placed a thumb against your forehead, and immediately you felt your entire body go numb. After only a minute had passed, König withdrew his thumb, and with it came the return of your senses.

“Well that was informative,” König grumbled, “but not particularly helpful. I am realizing that I’m… Different from your species. Significantly so.”

“That’s really not helpful,” you flushed, “I mean, you could just show me…”

König pressed another pinching kiss to your forehead, “My mate, I think we should wait until you’re ready to go that far.”

You squirmed in his lap, “I mean, it can’t be that bad…”

“You can wait,” König tucked you back to his chest, “I assure you it won’t change for another thousand years.”

“Wait, it changes?” you spluttered.

“I reserve my right to remain silent,” König replied.

“You sure don’t use it often,” you grumbled only to find your lips pressed firmly together into a line. Despite your best efforts, your lips remained stuck in place.

König sighed and settled back into the sofa, “Much better.”

You were going to kill him, you swore by it.

AU Masterlist

[moutainrusing]

metamorphmagus

They (or he or she) were born to Remus and Nymphadora Lupin (better known as Tonks). They were born as Edward Remus Lupin, because when they were born, they had a boy’s body, except could they really be considered a boy when their body could shift between sexes?

Regardless, they were always referred to as ‘Teddy,’ and they quite liked that name, because people said it with such love and affection, and, not to be a complete sap, but sue them for internally beaming at it. Honestly, they couldn’t care less if their given name was typically used for boys, because names were names, and guess what? They could be used for any person on the planet. Of course, Teddy understood that some people preferred to change their names, but Teddy didn’t, and that was also fine.

Additionally, Edward was the name of their late grandfather, who died at the hands of Snatchers during the hunts for Muggle-borns. Their grandfather had been brave, and kind, and loyal, constantly choosing to trust and believe the people he loved. So yeah, Teddy was proud to bear his name. And their middle name?

Well, Teddy was beyond proud to bear the name of their late father. A werewolf who proved all the negative stereotypes wrong. He fought for justice, with his calm, generally easy-going temperance, and he cared deeply for all those surrounding him. Life had dealt their father incredibly shitty cards, yet Remus had remained brave, strong, and determined.

Teddy Remus Lupin wouldn’t change their name for the world. (Although honestly, ‘Remus’ sounded kinda gender-neutral, like it could be used for girls too. They wondered what their father would think of that. Would he be mad?)

They really wanted to know more about their parents. They knew a lot about their mother, Nymphadora ‘don’t call me that!��� Tonks from her mother, Andromeda Tonks, their grandmother and the widowed wife of Edward Tonks. But they didn’t know much about Remus. And, they didn’t even know if their parents would accept them for being… whatever they were. Not a boy, not a girl, but sometimes a boy and sometimes a girl. Shit.

And Andromeda Tonks was one of those no-nonsense women, someone you could tell had been born into a well-to-do, upper-class family. She exuded luxury and elegance, and who knew what she would say? But then again, she had been disowned by that family, forced to live a humbler life with her Muggle-born husband because she’d betrayed the purebloods’ standards. So maybe she’d be accepting.

If they were disowned, they could always run off to their godfather Harry’s house. Sometimes, when Andromeda was being too strict, they did it anyway. Harry was the type of person who had too much of his own shit to really care about anyone else’s. He was chill about everything, because he was stressed about everything. A paradox.

With this in mind, they decided to tell their grandmother.

“Hi,” they stepped into the living room, where she was sitting on the sofa with her evening cup of coffee.

“Hello,” she emphasised, and Teddy snorted. She was always trying to instil formality into every conversation, even ones between friends.

“Hello, grandmother,” they decided to be respectful, which was worth it, seeing their grandmother smile.

“Hello, my Teddy. Come, sit,” she patted the space beside her. Teddy grinned and flopped down on the sofa, ignoring her tutting.

Before she could further try to instil manners into them, they quickly turned to face her and blurted, “I want to tell you something.”

She hummed, motioned for them to continue.

“I— So, do you remember how I was a child?”

She gave them a flat look. “I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to.”

They laughed. “But you don’t want to, so it’s all good.”

She smiled, “Where are you going with this?”

“Uh, yes, so when I was a kid, do you remember how sometimes I would use my Metamorphmagus abilities to change my features to look more like a girl? Like, I’d give myself really long hair, and tie it in braids and all sorts of pretty hairstyles.” They elaborately gestured to their hair thanks to the anxious fidgeting their hands were doing, and their body also seemed pretty agitated, because their hair went ahead and whizzed through a bunch of crazy hairstyles.

Their grandmother eyed the movement with a small smirk. “Of course. You were beautiful. And I was honoured, really, because you’d copy my hairstyles. I’m simply inspirational.”

Teddy laughed. Then they awkwardly added, “But, uh, sometimes I’d prefer to look really masculine?”

Their grandmother made a face. “Can’t see the appeal. But you do you.”

“So… sometimes I’d wear dresses and skirts?”

“You still do, love. If you’re asking for permission to steal my clothes, you’re a bit late.”

“And heels.”

“Honestly, you really don’t need to be taller, you inherited your father’s height. He was one lanky man, that Remus.”

“What… what would he think about my clothing choices?”

“He wouldn’t bat an eye. In fact, his old boyfriend used to dress a bit like you.”

Teddy’s eyes almost popped out of their brain. “What?! Boyfriend?!”

Their grandmother turned to face them, softening her gaze. “Teddy, what did you want to tell me?”

“I’m— I’m genderfluid.”

She grinned triumphantly. “I knew it. Metamorphmagi my arse, you’re just a bunch of non-binary mages.”

“What?”

“Your mother — even though she called herself your mother and went by she/her pronouns — was also genderfluid.”

Teddy blinked at her. She smiled, and continued, “There was a reason she didn’t like being called ‘Nymphadora.’ I didn’t understand it, at first, because I believed it was an elegant, classy name. I thought she was simply being rebellious, and I’ve had much experience with rebels. We’ll come to that later. But soon I realised that it was because it didn’t suit her. She wasn’t Nymphadora, she was Tonks, or Dora, a name she only approved of if it was spoken to her with affection to make her feel loved. Nymphadora had no meaning to her, didn’t represent her.”

“I— Oh. I… like being called Teddy.”

“I know. With you, I realised much sooner. You’re so much like her, my Teddy,” she stroked their hair fondly.

“How?” They leaned eagerly into her palm.

“The way you use your abilities to change your appearance to your comfort each day. Sometimes she’d swagger in with stubble on her chin, and make me burst out laughing, ‘cause she looked so much like her father. Or sometimes she’d be curvy and soft, and wear my old gowns with joy in her step. But either way, she was always beautiful. Like you.”

“So she would accept me then?”

“You don’t need to be accepted for being yourself, Teddy. But yes. She would be so proud of you.”

“What about Muggles who feel the way I do? They can’t just… change their body however they like. How do they… cope with it? How do they feel being stuck, even though sometimes they feel like they’re not supposed to have the features they’re stuck with, or that they want to behave in ways that don’t conform…?”

Their grandmother frowned. “As best they can, probably. Do you… want to support them or something?”

“Can I?”

“Well, clearly you know how it feels.”

“I don’t, I think it’s a different experience for everyone.”

“And there you go. You’re already open-minded and willing to listen to a whole range of standpoints. Of course you’d be good at supporting people.”

Teddy pinched their eyebrows together. “So… we just listen?”

“Yes. We listen, and let people feel the way that they want.”

“You’re good at this.”

Softly, she confessed, “They were your mother’s words. I’m glad she can still bring us comfort, even from the other side.”

Teddy snuggled into her arms. “I wish I knew her.”

“I bet she wishes she knew you too. But all we can do is be happy with the people who do know us.”

“Okay. But… what would my father say?”

Their grandmother burst out laughing. “Oh, that’s a long tale.”

They gave her a horrified expression, but she waved a hand, “He’d be proud of you too.”

“Okay, but what’s the tale? And you said he had a boyfriend?”

“Mhm,” she hummed happily. “My cousin, Sirius Black. Remember how I’ve much experience with rebels? Well, Sirius was the biggest rebel I knew. All I did was fall in love with one Muggle-born when I was seventeen. But Sirius? He was arguing with the whole family from the moment he could speak. At first, I think he only did it to be rebellious. But then he started to believe it. He defied the family’s views; ranted about Muggle rights. And yeah, he’d dress to defy stereotypes, maybe to piss people off, but also because it made him comfortable. He genuinely liked makeup and skirts, but he also liked leather jackets and boots. He just proved that boys could like and do whatever they wanted. And he fell in love with a half-blood werewolf, his best friend, and your father.”

“Woah. Woah. Did he get along with you? And did dad love him back? And how did dad marry mum?”

“Urgh, told you this was a long story. Honestly, I don’t know where to start. The closest person in my old ex-family I had was Sirius, yes. I used to try to keep him in line, he would outright disobey, and I shared his opinions, but I was better at hiding it. Then I went and eloped and got disowned, and I sent an owl to him at Hogwarts. And after a couple years, maybe in his fifth year, he told me how sickeningly in love he was with his werewolf best mate, Remus Lupin. And I think in his seventh year, they finally confessed they were soppily enamoured and got to dating. I think your father was opposed to the idea at first, but he came around to it.”

“Why was he opposed?”

“Multiple reasons. He was a werewolf, already facing stigma for something he couldn’t help. He couldn’t love a boy on top of that, because the stigma would only multiply. He also didn’t want to burden Sirius, keep him stuck with a werewolf, and stuck with another boy.”

“So he’d give everything up just for Sirius to be… what, unburdened?”

“Yeah. He really did love Sirius in that all-consuming, self-sacrificing way.”

“Wow. He was good at self-restraint, then. How did he marry mum if he was so in love with Sirius?”

“Sirius died.”

“Oh. Was dad okay?”

“Not really. But Dora picked him up again. Your mother. She— she looked after him and forced him to accept care from another human, pestered him out of his self-loathing spirals and whatnot. And then she fell in love with him. Remus was the type of man to say he was very unloveable, yet so many people loved him simply for existing.”

“Did he… love her back?”

“Yes, or I wouldn’t have allowed their marriage.”

“How did he love her? As much as he loved Sirius?”

“No. You can’t hold a candle to the love Sirius and Remus shared. They loved each other like two galaxies on a collision path. But Remus did love Dora, and he always put her first, and there was a war on, so I thought, why shouldn’t they co-exist in their small pocket of happiness? They made each other happy, and they loved each other like friends and spouses. It was good, and it was still everything.”

“His… I’m glad he had love. Because his life sounds so sad.”

“If you asked him,” his grandmother thought for a moment, “I think he’d say he was the luckiest man alive. That’s how much he felt loved.”

“I’m happy I have his middle name.”

“Not too manly for you?”

“Uh— about that. Do you think he’d be offended if I said his name is slightly not-manly?”

Their grandmother roared. “Oh, his fragile fifteen-year-old masculinity would be punching walls! But as an adult, I don’t think he could give a flying fuck, Teddy. I think Sirius and Dora taught him a few things about gender. That no one else decides your gender, only you. And Remus would love to know you share that ideology, because he thought it was inspirational. Like how Dora pestered him, he pestered her to start writing books and making quotes. He was adorable about it.”

“Then I’ll spread the message for them. For me. And for the people like me,” Teddy replied, with a determined nod of their head.

[badlysummedupmoviestournament]

If you recognize the movies/characters hiding behind the decoy titles, please do not give identifying details about them in the notes.

Villain n°1: Chicken Submarine

I was betrayed by the man I loved and that's enough to drive anyone to do some crazy shit, right? Look, most of my life has sucked ass. I was born with a debilitating illness that requires constant, miserably unpleasant procedures to keep me alive. I like to have fun, and every time I do, I suffer. I got used to it, but I never stopped dreaming things could be better. My best friend--met him in the pediatric hospital, same illness--finally concocts this INCREDIBLE cure, it works on him, and he TELLS ME NOT TO TAKE IT? Of COURSE I took it.

Okay, so there were side effects, but honestly, I think he was complaining too much. I'm healthy as a horse now. People talk shit on my boy? I defend his honor. I can do that with my fists now, instead of just Daddy's money. That's my best friend, no one gets to insult his beautiful, brilliant brain with those eyes that you could just drown in... What was I saying?

Oh yeah, he got mad at ME for NO REASON. I said, babe, let's run away together, the world is at our feet, and he ran away FROM me. So I decided to get his attention--his girlfriend is fine, unfortunately--and he not only attacked me but set hundreds of his new friends on me! Like we don't have a history? Like I'm not important to him? I could even follow his annoying petty lifestyle demands if he would just share his life with me. Maybe. For now, anyway. But I really don't think I was asking too much.

Villain n°2: Flintlock Gun

My family has had it rough. They were the high-profile targets of a terrorist for my mom’s whole childhood. Eventually they were able to stop the terrorist, but it affected my grandmother badly. She just wants what’s best for me, but she can be a little harsh. None of that mattered too much because I was happy with my life—I loved a boy so much, and he loved me back. We were going to be happy together, and my grandmother was going to be proud of me. Then a new terrorist came. This one pretended to be different, but she wasn’t. She drugged and tricked my boyfriend into thinking he was in love with her. He humiliated me in front of everyone. When the terrorist revealed herself, she continued pretending to be good, saying she had a change of heart. The boy said he really was in love with her, even after he knew that she had taken advantage of him. And now, they’re engaged to be married. My grandmother is so disappointed in me. I’m not like my parents—I couldn’t defeat this threat. Everything I thought was true was a lie. I guess evil is good. Everyone else seems to think so.

[g1itchtree]

Divulgence- Part 1

Next

Okay quick authors note cause! Why not!

This is a new lukadrinette series. Honestly I love this ship so much it needs more stuff so. Here I am! It’ll be a bit canon divergent, idk how much but Chat and Ladybug actually have proper communication so that’s fun.

Updates will be pretty sporadic, basically whenever the writing mood strikes me. I wrote this in only like a few hours but then l’ll go weeks without writing lmao

Also I really have no idea how to use tumblr and I’m on my phone so if these are formatted weird please let me know

That’s it I guess? Enjoy!

———

“Miraculous ladybug!” Ladybug shouted as she tossed the spotted Dino Huggie in the air. As always, the magic ladybugs swirled around the city, fixing any damage the akuma had caused.

There was one thing that couldn’t be reversed, however.

As Marinette- no, Ladybug. As Ladybug gave Alec his charm and the trio of heroes brought him back to his TV crew, Luka couldn’t help but dread the consequences of what he had learned today. Two of his close friends (if that could even describe what he felt for each of them) were Paris’s superheroes. The sheer fact that they risked their lives every day and still managed to make time for average civilian life was astounding.

He was beginnning to understand why Marinette was always running off.

After they were done with Alec, he and Ladybug zipped off toward an empty alleyway. As soon as the coast was clear he took off his Miraculous and handed it over.

“Thank you, Luka,” Ladybug smiled at him, tucking the bracelet back in her yo-yo. And yeah, he could totally see it now that he knew. He knew quantum masking was powerful and all, but they had the same exact smile, same sparkle in her eyes after a job well done. How could he have missed that?

“Thanks to you, our secret identities were preserved and no one discovered who Chat Noir and I really are.”

Oh, she was still talking. Luka should probably stop staring.

It didn’t seem to matter too much though, because she turned to leave right after. Except she stopped right before tossing her yo-yo, that nervous smile that was just a bit too tight and her eyes a bit too wide to be genuine on her face. “Not even you, right?”

“Not even me,” He confirmed, though he could feel his nerves bubbling up. “Luckily Wishmaker never hit you or Chat Noir.”

Ladybug narrowed her eyes at him, and he knew she could see right through him. Like he could hear her inner song, she seemed to be able to know his deepest thoughts, no matter how much he tried to play it cool. Sure, that was part of the reason he fell for her. She was always the first to comfort him whenever things got a bit much. But damn, if it wasn’t inconvenient right now.

With a look outside the alley to make sure no one was near, she let out a deep sigh, her shoulders slumped as she leant against the wall. “Tikki, spots off.”

With a pink glow, the suit slipped away, leaving only Marinette and her kwami behind, looking stressed to all hell.

“Sorry,” Luka muttered, mostly on reflex.

“It’s not your fault, I knew this was a possibility when I asked for your help,” She assured, fishing a macaron out of her bag and giving it to Tikki. “Is it just me, or Chat Noir too?”

“Both,” He admitted, tugging at the bottom of his hoodie with discomfort. “…you looked really cute as the knitting fairy?”

She looked at him with that adorable expression she had whenever she was disgruntled or surprised, nose scrunched and lips pursed slightly. She then let out a laugh, shaking her head and pressing her hands to her face. “Fuuuck, that’s embarrassing.”

“Not at all,” He waved it off, grinning just a bit despite the circumstances.

“What was Chat Noir’s?” She asked, then seemed to realize her mistake. “Wait, maybe you shouldn’t tell me that, scratch it-”

“He just wanted to please his parents,” Luka shrugged, figuring that wasn’t too bad. Lots of people wanted to do that. “Make them proud, do whatever they said.”

Marinette furrowed her brows ever so slightly, nodding after a moment. “Yeah, that makes sense. I know his dad is overbearing, but he still loves him.”

The two sat in silence as Tikki finished her snack, unsure of where to go from there. Eventually though, the tiny god wiped her face and gave Luka a smile, diving into Marinette’s bag.

“We should head back and find Adrien,” She said after that, pushing herself off the wall. “Can you come back to my place after? We… need to talk.”

“Of course,” He agreed, but really he was dreading that conversation. Many possibilities ran through his head, each worse than the last. Would she not let him be Viperion again? Would she tell him they couldn’t be seen together anymore? Would he have to leave the country just so Shadow Moth couldn’t get to him?

The endless downward spiral screeched to a stop as Marinette took his hand, giving him that tiny smile that said everything would be fine. “It’ll be okay. Let’s just head back for now.”

And so they went.

———

As soon as they reached her bedroom after talking with her parents, Marinette immediately started freaking out.

She paced back and forth, hands tugging at her hair as she started to plan. “Okay so obviously it’s bad that you know who both of us are. If it was just one that might be okay- hell I already told someone, and I let Chat know that he could do the same. But both is a recipe for disaster! If Shadow Moth finds out, then you or your family could get hurt, and if you’re akumatized? I don’t even- that can’t happen! I could load you up on charms, sure, but what if you lose them? Or they break? Wait, can they even break? What if-“

“Marinette,” Luka interrupted, making her stop in her tracks. “You’re going to burn a hole in your floor if you keep going like this.”

She let out a sheepish laugh, her eyes dropping to her feet. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Come on, sit down,” He offered, patting the spot next to him on the chaise. “Let’s work through this one problem at a time, without catastrophizing.”

“Right, okay,” She agreed, plopping down and taking a deep breath. “How about… do you have any questions for me?”

“You mentioned others know?” He started with, figuring that was easiest.

“Oh yeah, that’s a pretty recent development,” She admitted, looking down at her hands. “I told Alya, after the Gang of Secrets mess she figured something big was up. I… I was really struggling balancing my superhero and civilian life, and it kind of just came out.”

“That’s perfectly reasonable,” Luka said, giving her his patient smile that honestly made it super hard not to cry. “I’m sure being Ladybug is stressful enough, and after you became Guardian? I’m not sure I would’ve been able to handle it myself.”

She bit her tongue, holding back from saying that she wholeheartedly believed anyone could do better than her, and she was sure Luka would do utterly amazing. She instead continued her answer, picking at her nails a bit. “I told Chat Noir who Carapace was, cause it was a bit unfair that I got someone and he didn’t, and obviously Carapace isn’t me so there was no risk of him accidentally telling me his identity. And the two are around the same age, and I know Carapace can keep a secret if it really matters. I’m not sure if Chat ever approached him though.”

Luka nodded, silent for a while before asking his next question. “Will… will I get to be Viperion again after this?”

Marinette sighed, dragging her hands over her face as she thought about it. “I don’t know… in all honesty, I really shouldn’t. But… you know how this all works already, and you’re really good at it too! Finding someone else I can trust to wield that power will be a lot of trouble. It’s easy to abuse it or not really know how to utilize it. And… I know Sass likes you a lot, too.”

That made Luka smile, a low chuckle escaping him. “Well, I like Sass too. I’d miss the little guy.”

Marinette couldn’t help but smile back, glancing to where the Miracle Box was hidden. “I guess… well, I won’t call on you unless it’s really needed. But… so long as no one ever finds out you know, then it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

“I can keep a secret, there’s no need to worry about that,” Luka assured, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She glanced up at him, the familiar butterflies returning once more. It wasn’t fair that he was just so… so charming! And comforting! And someone she could just be herself around without any fear! Not to mention absolutely gorgeous? Honestly, it’s like the universe was trying to make her suffer.

“Marinette?” He all but whispered, drawing her attention back to reality. His brows were pulled together ever so slightly and he was biting the inside of his cheek, sure signs that something was on his mind.

“What’s wrong?” She immediately asked, starting to panic. Did he think this was too much? Did he not want to be seen with her anymore? This was the first time they’ve really spoken after the breakup, and honestly, she didn’t know if she could watch him leave again. Even if it was for the better.

“I… the whole reason we broke it off was because you’re Ladybug, right?” Luka asked, immediately filling her with dread. “Because you had to keep leaving, and I couldn’t know why.”

She winced at that, turning gaze back down to her hands. “Yes, that’s most of it… and I’m so sorry for that, Luka. I just couldn’t tell you. If I hadn’t broken down, I wouldn’t have even told Alya! I just didn’t want to put you in danger, but I still-”

“No, I get it,” He immediately assured, moving the hand on her shoulder to her own hand. “Now I do, at least. I’ve never had any hard feelings about it, I knew you had your reasons. I still loved you, even though I couldn’t be the one who you open your heart to. I still do, even now.”

“You… you still…?” Marinette whispered, looking to him with wide eyes. Great, now she felt even worse for dumping all this on him. He now knew why it was totally unable to work at all, not with the utter mess that was her life.

“I do, and now that I know you’re Ladybug…” He trailed off, looking down to where his hand laid on hers, slowly interlacing their fingers. “I really wanted us to work, y’know? Is there… any chance we still might?”

“Wait, you-” She immediately moved back, pulling her hand away. “Are you serious? You- after all I did, you still-”

“Sorry, that was probably too much,” He immediately backpedaled at her reaction, hiding his obvious hurt behind a smile. She could see it though, and it made her feel all the worse. “I just wanted you to know I care about you. I get why you wouldn’t want to, though.”

“Hold on, I didn’t say that,” It was her turn to interrupt as she held her hand out, cutting him off. “Just… give me a minute. I honestly wasn’t expecting that.”

Luka softened at her flushed cheeks and how she bit her lip, his affection for her evident in the look he gave. “Of course, take all the time you need.”

She visibly relaxed at that, leaning against the back of the chaise as she contemplated it. She glanced up at him every so often, then at her picture board, and a few times towards the box.

“I… I wouldn’t be able to dedicate enough time to you,” Marinette started with. “I would always have to run off, leave you behind again.”

“And I’m okay with that,” He said. “I was just worried that something was wrong with you before, that you were in danger. Or that I did something wrong. But I know why now, and I can help you escape if it’s needed.”

She let out a sigh, knowing he had a point. “If Shadow Moth ever finds out who I am…”

“He won’t,” Luka immediately cut in, that passionate fire blazing in his eyes. God, she loved that look. “You’re always so careful. That’s why I was there today, right? To ensure Shadow Moth wouldn’t find you. And that was a good call. There’s no way he’ll find out who you are.”

He really wasn’t making this any easier, was he?

“Dammit, Luka…” She muttered, uncurling herself and moving back next to him. “I really lo…like you, too…” She winced at the stutter, cursing herself for being unable to really express her feelings. “You make me feel so… comfortable? I don’t know if that’s the right word. I can just relax around you, not worry about every little thing. I hated breaking it off. I do want to be with you, really. But… I still don’t think it’s a good idea. I still… I lik-”

“Is it Adrien?”

Marinette turned to him with wide eyes, sputtering at that. “I- wha- nooo, of course not! Why would I ever… was I that obvious?”

“I think the only one who doesn’t know is him,” Luka joked, bumping their shoulders together. “I don’t blame you. Honestly, I’ve got the hots for him too.”

“You do??” She almost shouted, mouth agape. “But- you just-”

“You can love more than one person, Marinette,” He started, taking her hand in his again. “It doesn’t have to be this exclusive thing. I mean, it’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but I personally have no problem with you pursuing a relationship with Adrien while you’re with me.”

She looked from their hands to his eyes, utterly confused at this point. “I- I’m not sure I understand.”

He laughed at that, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. “That’s alright. I can try to explain.”

He turned away, a little smile on his face as he walked her through it. “Love isn’t something that’s limited. Some people choose to only love one person with their whole being, and that’s perfectly fine. But others prefer to have more than just one partner. They spread their love evenly and wholly. And you, Marinette, have more love to give than anyone I’ve met. I’d honestly feel bad keeping you to myself.”

She was silent, processing his words. “So… you, me, and Adrien would all be a couple?”

“That depends. I’m not sure if Adrien’s into me. But we don’t all need to date each other for it to work,” He explained. “As long as there’s communication and clear boundaries, then I see no reason why you can’t date who you want. The only question is, are you comfortable with that?”

Marinette thought about it, coming up short with a perfect answer, as was the pattern with her feelings. But… it sounded nice. “I don’t know. It… I guess I wouldn’t mind trying? I haven’t even considered that.”

“Most people don’t,” Luka smiled, turning back to face her. “It’s fine if you don’t want to. Just follow your heart.”

My heart really wants to kiss you.

The thought turned her bright red, but she was unable to deny its validity. Could you blame her? The way he looked at her, with endless compassion and devotion, made her absolutely melt. Now that she had this new perspective, she honestly couldn’t bear letting him go again.

It seemed he felt the same. He was slowly leaning in, bringing a hand to her face. Not pulling, just caressing her gently. His eyes flicked down to her lips then back up, a new glint of desire in them.

Fuck it.

She grabbed him by his hoodie and pulled him down to her before she could second guess herself. He jumped a bit in surprise but adjusted quickly, tilting his head ever so slightly as he reciprocated it.

It was quite honestly the best thing she’s ever done. His lips were soft and warm, and they fit against hers perfectly. His hands were rough from years of playing guitar, and the feeling of them on her was too good to ignore. The one holding her hand moved to her waist, drawing tiny shapes there.

They pulled apart after a few moments, both breathless at the exchange. Marinette immediately panicked once it was over, which should honestly be expected. “Oh my god, we just- wait I am so sorry I didn’t even ask that was so awful of me! I can’t believe I did that, I’m so-”

“Mari, it’s okay,” Luka interrupted with a laugh, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. “I wanted it too, no worries. You can ask next time if it bothers you that much.”

She looked up at him with amazement, smiling nervously. “How do you always manage to calm me down?”

“I know you,” He murmured, sending her heart into overdrive.

She hesitated for just a second, a bit shy but really wanting to continue. “Can I… can I kiss you? Again?”

He huffed in amusement, dipping his head down to capture her lips in his. She immediately melted against him, a little content hum escaping her. She brought a hand to his hair, threading her fingers through it and pulling him closer.

She really had no idea what she was doing, but Luka made everything so easy. He slowly backed her up so she was against the back of the chaise, moving the hand on her cheek to the back of her neck. His tongue glided over her lips carefully before retreating, giving her the chance to back away if she needed to.

Yeah, like hell.

Instead, she gave an experimental poke of her, surprised to be met with his. She let him guide her, following his movements and slowly making bolder moves of her own. She tightened her grip on his hair, not quite pulling but definitely firm. A low groan escaped him and he kissed her with more fervor, clearly affected by her actions.

Marinette herself was thrilled with this course of action, giving a few more slight tugs as she wrapped her legs around him. Before they could get too into it however, she felt someone watching them. Many someones.

With a groan, she reluctantly pulled away, glaring over at the kwamis. Most of them had their heads poked out, including Tikki, the traitor.

Luka sat back with a laugh, giving a small wave to the creatures. Daizzi rushed forward first, flying around his head with excitement. “Are you the Guardian’s new partner? That’s so amazing! She’s been really upset, honestly. Staring at those photos of you all day, that glum look on her face.”

“That’s enough!” Marinette squeaked out, grabbing Daizzi and covering her mouth. “Another word and I won’t be sneaking you any choquettes!”

“We’re just happy for you, that’s all!” Xuppu cheered, the rest of the kwamis flying out. “And it sounds like you can still be with Adrien! It’s a win-win!”

“Please don’t take our choquettes!” Mullo whimpered, giving Marinette her puppy dog eyes.

“Ugh, fine, just don’t peak next time we make out…” She sighs, letting Daizzi go.

Luka perks up at that, shooting her a smirk. “Next time?”

Marinette turned red, waving her arms around awkwardly. “What? Did I say that? Pfft, how silly would that be? Unless you want there to be a next time, then I’d be more then happy cause honestly that was really hot and I wanted to keep going but! I get if you don’t want to cause I wasn’t really expecting to either, not to say it was amazing, it totally was, and please just shut me up already…”

He laughed at the last bit, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m totally down for more. But maybe another time… I’m sure we’ll get some privacy next time?”

He looked to the kwamis, and each instantly nodded their agreement, giggling and looking between the two of them.

“See?” Luka gestures to them, that easy smile stretched across his face. “No trouble.”

“I should probably feed them now, anyways,” Marinette sighed, slowly standing up. “Do you want to grab something too?”

He grinned up at her, grabbing her hand and pulling the hatch down open. “Lead the way.”

[samgirl98]

Cain and Abel Wept 5/?

Prev | Next

Surprise, two chapters in one day! Don't get used to this lol

Jazz knew any good psychiatrist would be promoting healthy conversations at the moment. Any good psychiatrist would be trying to dispense the awkwardness with icebreakers. They would be doing anything possible to facilitate the blending of the two families.

Jazz wasn’t a psychiatrist.

(Honestly, those dreams burnt up when the GIW burnt her home, and she and her family had to run.)

Jazz was a (reluctantly) proud Fenton, a budding ghost hunter, and a badass with the Boo-staff. Still, first and foremost, she was an older sister who decided to stay with Danny even if she wanted to know what her parents and the Batman were discussing.

Danny’s shoulders were curved inward, his posture tense. Every time Robin, no Damian (everyone had changed out of their costumes, even Batman, though she refused to call him by his civilian name.) moved, Danny would flinch.  

(Every flinch caused the younger boy’s face to fall.)

Nightwing Dick would quickly put his hand on Damian’s shoulder and try to diffuse the situation with jokes and stories. He brought provisions snacks from the safehouse’s kitchen and could tiptoe over any emotional topics that were accidentally brought up.

Jazz recognized elder daughter syndrome when she saw it (she had it, too.); however, Jazz was only here for Danny. She couldn’t imagine how exhausting it would be to monitor the emotional (and probable physical) needs of six, maybe even seven people.

Jazz knew that Dick hoped to have an ally in her to make the meeting smoother. She didn’t care about them, however. Only Danny mattered. Her parents, as much as she loved them, were not her responsibility. (She knew how guilty they felt about Danny’s accident and their hand in his half-death. In a way, she blamed them, too.)

“So, Danny, what’s your favorite band” Signal, no, Duke, asked.

“Dumpty Humpty,” Danny whispered and left it at that. Jazz could taste Duke’s disappointment that the question didn’t help open Danny up.

Thank you, liminality

Jazz saw Dick’s and Jason’s frowns. She focused on the other liminal in the room. He was tall, had green eyes that glowed at random times, and had a tuft of white hair in stark contrast to his dark hair.

Jason Todd was not hiding his ectosignature at all. Surprisingly, he hadn’t been clocked by the ‘proper’ authorities yet. He felt closer to a halfa instead of an ectocontaminated human. Jazz frowned. What had Danny called him? A revenant, that was it; a person brought back from the dead. Her frown deepened. She would have to ask Danny later what the difference between a revenant and a halfa was.

“…Zz, Jazz, can you hear me,” she looked at her worried brother’s face.

“Yeah, sorry about that, just lost in thought. What was the question?”

Danny’s frown matched hers, “I was wondering if maybe it was time to hit the hay. I think you answered my question, though. It’s getting late.”

Jazz followed Danny’s stare and noticed that the sky was lighting up. They had stayed up all night, and no progress had been made between the Fenton and Wayne siblings.

“You’re right. I am tired. Unlike you, I’m still not used to being up all night,” she tried to joke.

“Why would Danya—Danny be used to staying up all night,” Damian asked, his arms crossed over his chest and his face turning suspicious.

“None of your business, Damian. I’ll let you and your family know about me if I want to.”

Damian flinched as if he had been physically hit, and Jazz saw Danny’s guilty expression.

(Her baby brother carried too much unnecessary guilt.)

“Sorry, Dami, I didn’t mean to sound harsh. I’m just not used to being open about my…other life. I’m sure you aren’t used to talking about your alternate lifestyle to strangers, either.” Danny scratched the back of his neck.

Jazz saw Damian suppress another flinch. Ouch. She wondered if Danny phrased it like that on purpose or if he subconsciously wanted to hurt his younger brother somehow. Jazz wouldn’t be surprised if it were the latter. For all of Danny’s anger, he tried to be too nice sometimes. She knew it was because of Dan.

The rest of the family members also frowned at Danny’s word choice.

“Well, if you ever want to let us know, we’re here with open ears and no judgment,” Dick said with a wan smile.

Seriously, elder daughter syndrome.

“Do you want me to show you to your rooms, or do you think you got it?”

Dick was giving them choices to make them feel safer; it didn’t work. Still, she would take it.

“We can manage, thank you.”

Jazz took Danny’s hand and disappeared upstairs. Danny was all that mattered.

____

“Well, that went…well,” Tim said hesitatingly.

“It was a disaster, Drake. He hates me.” Damian’s voice broke, and Dick thought his baby brother would start crying again.

He was ready to reassure him, “No, baby bat, he doesn’t hate you. It’s just a bit awkward for everyone at the moment,” Dick ended lamely.

Damian shook his head and threw himself into Dick’s arms. He automatically caught the kid and rubbed Damian’s back soothingly. He looked toward his other siblings hoping for some type of help. Everyone but Cass looked away; they never knew what to do with a crying Damian.

Dick looked at Cass imploringly, looking, needing all the help he could get. She shook her head and signed ‘hurt, both of them. Danny feels betrayed. Later I say more.’

Dick sighed. Well, nobody said getting two brothers to reconcile would be easy.

____

Bruce was processing everything the Dr. Fentons had told him.

It was, to put it mildly, a cluster fuck. How had the Justice League missed something this huge?

Government-sanctioned experimentations, the multiple attempted genocide of interdimensional beings, and the attempted murder of a foreign sovereign. Bruce thanked his lucky stars and praised whichever god was listening that Danny wasn’t a vengeful ruler, or the Earth would’ve been fucked. And they would’ve deserved it.

He typed everything the Fentons had told them, put everything in a neat file, and called for an emergency meeting with the Justice League and Justice League Dark.

“So you’ll help us,” Jack Fenton asked. Bruce looked up at the man, glad to have his attention taken away from the gruesome experiment of what seemed to be a ghost girl no older than seven.

“Dr. Fenton.”

“Jack, please, no need for formalities.”

Bruce nodded, “Jack. Yes, this is exactly what the Justice League is here for. We don’t just stop alien attacks or big earth-ending catastrophes; we help the whole Earth and everyone in it, whether humans, aliens, or some other species.”

Maddie and Jack looked at each other, their shoulders untensed a little.

“That’s good to hear. We have some allies, but their very few, and with the help of the Justice League, we would have the best help.”

Bruce nodded.

“Mr. Wayne, if I may ask,” Bruce interrupted Maddie Fenton.

“Please, it goes both ways. Call me Bruce.”

“Bruce. If I may ask, what exactly do you intend to do now that you know about Danny?”

Aww, they were worried he would take Danny away from them. He wouldn’t be so cruel as to separate child and parents, no matter how much he wanted to.

“I intend to get to know him and hopefully create a bond with him. When we get these laws repealed, I hope you would allow me to get to know Danny and maybe get him and Damian reintroduced.”

Both Fentons looked at each other for a long time before coming to an understanding.

“Bruce,” Maddie started, “We don’t mind you wanting to get to know Danny, but ultimately, it’d be up to him. Damian, well, Damian did leave him for dead; that type of trauma doesn’t just disappear.”

Bruce had kept his face clear of negative emotions at the reminder that his youngest had been brainwashed into believing killing his brother was an acceptable course of action.

Damn you, Talia.

“I understand. I don’t mind following yours and Danny’s lead.”

Bruce got up and stretched. The Fentons followed suit. It was rare that Bruce ever saw someone taller than him, but he had to look up to look Jack Fenton in the eyes, “thank you, Bruce. For listening to us and for giving Danny a chance.”

Bruce nodded, “Of course, even if Danny hadn’t been my son, I still wouldn’t allow an innocent person, let alone a child, to be hunted like some kind of animal.”

The mere thought got Bruce’s blood boiling.

“Speaking of, you need to keep an eye on Jason, was that his name,” Bruce nodded, “You need to keep an eye on him. He’s broadcasting an ectosignature, and if the GIW find us, they’ll hone in to his, too. Under the Anti-ecto acts, he’s fair game.”

Bruce gritted his teeth; just another reason to get rid of the GIW and those stupid laws.

“Don’t worry. Those laws will soon be gone forever. You two should get some rest; it’s been a long night.”

Bruce left the Fentons in the kitchen and went to look for his other kids. They had work to do, and then…then he would see in mending his broken family.

@spectralstardustandphantomnights @avelnfear @idfk-man10 @blackroserelina @candeartist422 @luer-mirin @mur-ururu @insufferablecrab @skulld3mort-1fan @meira-3919 @aethernorwood @mimilikey @marshmelloe @latheevening226 @ahyesanerd @lexdamo @chrysanthemum9484

[demonfox38]

Completed - Super Mario Bros.

Yeah, I know. You know what "Super Mario Bros." is. If you want to know about my failings as a person and how beating this game was a way for me to address them, click below.

Video games have never not been a part of my life. At least, as far as I can remember. The first console I had any experience with was, as it was for a lot of Millennial U.S. kids, a Nintendo Entertainment System. It was a Christmas gift from my mother to my father, a little sliver of luxury in the post-80s agricultural bust that plagued the Midwest's economy. From 1990 to 1998, this was the only console we had in the house. If I'm overly sentimental and sweet on it, it's because it was not only a link between my parents, but my parents, my sister (younger than this system!) and me.

Except for "Super Mario Bros."

Here's a funny thing. Young children? Not always the most coordinated. Me, at age 4? I definitely didn't have the concept of gravity down. I was proud enough just to figure out how to cross the first pit in 1-1. I tried to show my dad this, but he wasn't in the room at the time. So, I waited for him. And the game's timer ran out. And Mario died. And I thought to myself, "Oh. I guess I'm not good at this game."

And then I didn't touch it for THIRTY FUCKING YEARS.

Here's another funny thing. Okay, funny in a mildly traumatic way. I was not given a lot of room to screw up as a kid. Certainly, not academically. When it's drilled in your head that "your schoolwork is your job", you take it seriously. When you are applying to universities and colleges and your advisors keep encouraging you to take the ACTs repeatedly to get better scores and more financial aid, you do that. When you get a scholarship to a college that obliterates your tuition debt if you keep your GPA up, you damn well keep that GPA up. When you graduate post one of the greatest recessions in U.S. economic history, you will take whatever job you have and knock out the rest of your debts. Again, and again, and again, I was not allowed room for failure.

The only reprieve from this perfectionist demand was in video games. Even then, I had to grow a thicker skin to accept my flaws and defeat. It was hard to do, particularly with shrieking Simon electronic games and rotting Apple IIs and whoever thought it was socially acceptable to pair reflex gaming with mental mathematics. (There's a reason "Oregon Trail" is brought up as nostalgia positive and not "Super Munchers.") Honestly, it wasn't until I played "Star Fox 64" that I had the feeling of "Man, I suck at this game, but I want to try again!" That wasn't quite a 1985 to 1997 jump. More like a 1992 to 2000 jump. But goddamn. It took me a long time not to loathe failure, particularly with noisy, mocking electronics.

So, I'm thirty-four, at the moment. Not for all that much longer. I've learned how to handle debt, my pets, my health, the demands of my job, housekeeping, family relations, and generally what most people would expect out of an average adult. I replace old appliances to keep my house up to code and date. I haven't missed a single vaccination in a decade, despite loathing needles. I've replaced two toilet floats, one of my brake lights, and exchanged various console parts to keep my video game collection up and going for as long as possible. Hell, I've even got my video game collection registered with my home insurance provider. Weird? Maybe. Childish? Biblically, I suppose. The point is, I do things that are painful, annoying, or even frightening to keep me and my loved ones in a happy, stable environment. God knows I couldn't make it in this world without facing my fears.

And as small and petty as this goal was, I damn well didn't want to live my life being afraid of sucking at "Super Mario Bros."

It's stupid, right? Who gets their back up about "Super Mario Bros."? This is one of the most recommended games for newbies and kids! You run, and you get the mushrooms and flowers, and you spit fire and jump on shit, and problems get solved. It's just 32 levels, and really, you only need to do 8 of them. But, hell. Phobias and fears aren't always a logical thing, especially when the machinations of a child's mind are involved.

I'd still recommend "Pokémon Red/Blue" or "Dragon Warrior" before this one. I mean, yeah, you have to know how to read. Maybe having a basic comprehension of logic and budgeting doesn't hurt, either. I was doing better at those things when I was 4 than running through gymnastic death traps.

Okay. So. "Super Mario Bros." might be about jumping and collecting junk and sniping enemies with fireballs. Maybe saving a princess and seven of her idiot court members. We all get that. Even with simple, easy-to-understand mechanics, "Super Mario Bros." is no walk in the park. It's basically everyone's video game grandpa, if that grandpa was also Charles Bronson or Jack Palance. And goddamn, will Grandpa kick your ass the first chance he gets.

While I feared this game for a long, long time, I certainly didn't hate it. It's vivid, colorful one moment and ominous the next. The story is simple, but the character and monster design is diverse, both in the game and the industry at large. (I mean, how many plumbers are out there fighting turtles and dragons, anyway?) The music is driven and upbeat. It's no wonder that the "Super Mario" universe remains so globally popular. It's unique and over-the-top. Hard for a kid to ignore, at the very least!

The game is a marvel in ways that modern audiences may not always understand. It comes from an era where something as simple as scrolling screens was borderline wizardly. Yes, the lava is water and the clouds are bushes and many things are things in different colors. The amount of data compression going on here is impressive. Having duplicate levels with minor gameplay tweaks helps, sure, but it's neat how much this game puts out for just having 32 kilobytes to work with. I've got a few YouTube videos for your perusal, should you be interested in seeing how these levels are coded and assembled:

"NES Scrolling Basics Featuring Super Mario Bros. – Behind the Code" from Displaced Gamers

"Super Mario Bros. Glitch Levels Explained" from Retro Game Mechanics Explained

Honestly, think about how many video games prior to "Super Mario Bros." are in the collective consciousness for good reasons. Like, games your parents could name. You'd probably get a list with titles like "Donkey Kong," "Pac-Man," "Frogger," "Breakout," "Space Invaders," "Pitfall," or maybe "Pong," if they were rich and old enough for that. (Okay, maybe "Dragon's Lair" or "Sinistar" if your parents were really cool.) The best versions of these games were available to Americans in arcades. It was up to the shop owners as to what people got to play. Some games might have had decent console conversions, if developing companies weren't beating their staff like mules or bickering over copyrights with feuding studios. Maybe, if people had enough money, they could have invested in something like a Commodore 64 or an Apple II and gotten something more complex, along with practical software. "Super Mario Bros." was an equalizer in terms of quality and affordability, particularly to people like my parents—people with full-time jobs, no arcade access, and a tight budget.  

Man. Do you ever think about how a significant chunk of the console wars can be explained by a family's income and geographic location?

Okay. You know the Mario. You may be able to "Do the Mario." But, how did I get even a semblance of competency in this game, if I sucked so much at it?

Practice! Obviously. The least fun answer in the world! However, I took specific steps to improve my memorization and understanding of the game. First, I limited myself to a World a night in terms of practice. That is, a -1, -2, -3, and -4, each played all the way through without save stating. My usual gaming time per night is around 2 hours, breaking when my dogs need my attention. So, that would be about 30 minutes per level, right? Well, not quite. If I got through a level without losing lives or power, I didn't dwell on it. But, if I got injured or killed? That was when the grind locked in.

I had to pass a level 5 times before I allowed myself to check it off. Not consecutively, but in the best case, it would be. See, when I was in high school, I had a band instructor that taught me this particular semi-consecutive method for learning bassoon drills. If I played a set of measures right once? +1 to my score. If I screwed it up? -1. So, the greatest success would be a string of five +1s. But, if I screwed up, it took away one of my successes, resetting finally at 0.

That wasn't enough, either. For each level, I wrote down a series of notes on how to progress through it. I also gave myself a confidence rating in each level, which broke down like this:

S: Confidence Achieved

A: Can Beat Consistently in Fire Mario Form

B: Can Beat Consistently in Small/Super Mario Form

C: Have Beaten at least Once

D: Have Not Beaten

And you might ask, "What's the difference between an S and an A?" Just my feeling, dude. Because, hell. I might have been regimented about this, but I still had intuition and doubt to evaluate alongside actual data.

This weird behavior started coming out as I was running "Super Mario Bros." drills. I wasn't so much interested in avoiding danger as I was trying to figure out what I could get away with. Yes, it's common knowledge about how Goombas and green Koopa Troopas have no self-preservation when it comes to edges. But, what determined when a Piranha plant was comfortable in emerging from its pipe? Why did Bullet Bill launchers stop shooting when I was face-to-face with them? Did projectiles come in one or two shots? Were gray Cheep-Cheeps slower than red ones? How big was a Blooper's hitbox, and how much was it really following me? I can't say I mastered all A.I. behavior—certainly, not when it came to hammer-throwing enemies—but I had some surprising events when it came to stage and enemy manipulation.

There was a real turning point when I managed to dodge three Bullet Bills—two coming from the right, one from the left—and I laughed at my own survival. Like one short, ugly, mocking laugh! I could have never imagined myself doing that before! Not when I was terrified of this game's pinpoint perfect demands!

Reaching and defeating 8-4—the final level—was a particularly strange experience. I mean, we all know how "Super Mario Bros." ends, right? Even if we're not capable of reaching that ending ourselves. Like, when I beat "The Legend of Zelda", there was this feeling of contentment and peace. "Ah, Zelda! Nice to see you." Reaching Princess Toadstool? There was happiness, but I barely even registered her being on screen. It felt like, "I didn't do this for you, honey. I did this for me." And man, that was a weird feeling. Particularly, since she's one of my Smash mains.

Also, it bothered me as a kid when she went from redheaded to blonde in the Mario games. Like, I get the palette limitations of the NES were a factor in why she was a redhead, but it still felt weird and off when she went SNES blonde.

Am I good at "Super Mario Bros." now? Can I cold-perform a complete playthrough like "Star Fox 64"? Well, I feel confident enough to say that I can at least make it to 8-2 using a series of warps. And honestly, I'd probably choke and do something stupid in 4-1 first. And man, I really only got that 1UP Koopa shell jump trick to work a couple of times. But, the feeling is no longer, "Oh, no! I suck at platformers, so I can't ever possibly beat this game!" It's more like, "If I'm not being sloppy and remember how to recover from a bad situation, I've got a decent chance of doing this." I think that's pretty good progress, especially for just a week of practice!

If it helps, I can give you a list of things I wish I knew about "Super Mario Bros." way sooner:

You can continue from the first level of the last world you died on by holding A, then hitting Start.

You'll only get close on time on level 8-1. And by that, I mean you'll probably have 80-90 tics left on the timer. Don't get anxious about time, and don't be impatient.

Bullet Bill launchers and Piranha Plants will stop coming out if you are standing directly by their respective pipes.

Blooper hitboxes are smaller than you'd think. Their head is more dangerous than their tentacles.

Hanging out at the bottom of a water level is usually pretty safe, barring the 8-4 fire bars and some random Cheep-Cheep spawns. Assuming you're not in a pit, anyway.

Fire bars start in a fixed position and can be manipulated via controlling your speed and the loading edge of a level.

You're probably better off ignoring Lakitu. Unless you want 8-2 revenge on him, I guess. He is right there, after all.

Mario starts with three lives. Mario dies at 0 lives. But, as long as you keep trying, Mario has infinite lives.

[chernayawidow]

Gotta love a smutty start to a chapter 😮‍💨 so keen to read this one!!! LETS GET INTO THIS ONE BOYSSSS!!

“Ben got up from the couch, giving you a thinly veiled look of smugness. He knew you’d come around.” — Starting off strong with Ben’s ego, we love to see it 🤣

“He couldn’t help himself. He reached out and grabbed a delectable handful.” — Can’t blame him, her dress is probably like a bright neon sign telling him to grope her 🤷‍♀️

“You chuckled humorlessly. “Don’t let that Betty Crocker apron fool you. She’s a degenerate gambler.”” — Hot damn that took a turn, but honestly I love it when people are blunt about their parents shortcomings.

“I need you to fuck me. Right now,” you said. “Or I’m gonna rip my aunt’s face off.” — Jokes on Pookie, Ben would probably love to see that happen!

““That’s kinda hot,” he replied. An understatement. The hairs on his arms were standing up, along with his cock.” — Not surprising that he would find that hot 😂

“Two rules: this lipstick doesn’t come off. And no. Ripping. The dress.” — I concur, I would be livid if he ruined a good dress! Also… smudged red lipstick? That stains! So everyone would know what went on 😅

“Ben huffed, and almost rolled his eyes. If there was one thing you enjoyed doing, it was testing his fucking patience.” — Yeah but you love her for it Benjamin 😏

“You helped him slide the skirt of your dress up, tug your pantyhose down to your ankles without ripping them.” — That task in itself is a mission, I’m impressed she managed to not rip them!

“Answer me,” he demanded. “Or I really will walk the fuck out right now.” — Bullshiiiiiiit, I call major bullshit on that 💀

“Somehow, you gave him everything he wanted to hear and more. Maybe that was part of what he loved about you. Even when you demanded from him, you gave him more of yourself.” — I love how far they’ve come together, and I find it so sweet that he sees it this way and acknowledges how much of herself she gives to him in return.

“He guided you down onto the counter and rucked up your dress. Per rule #2, he did it gently enough so he wouldn’t rip the fabric.” — Thank goodness, proud of you Benjamin! 👏

“He had to bite down to stifle his own grunts. It had you gasping at pain mixed with pleasure.” — Biting aye? We love to see it 😏

“Oh shit. You still hadn’t gotten your IUD replaced…” — HELL YEAH!!! Breeding kink activated in me when I read this, and I can only assume Ben thinks the same 👀

““You’re beautiful tonight,” he said.” — Stop it they’re so cute 😭🫶

“Yeah. Right now,” Ben said. “A fucking sight.” — AWH OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM!!!

“You don’t know how glad I am that you’re here with me,” you said. “Thank you.” — I’M HAVING SUCH A CUTENESS OVERLOAD RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD!!!!! 😭💖💖💖

“Ben met your gaze with a raised brow. “What, can’t take care of my girl?”” — The whole “my girl” thing has me giggling and kicking my feeling right now 🥹

““Yeah well, put her in her place next time, or I will,” he said. His tone was edged, and you gave him a wry look.” — I love how protective he is, honestly I was so anxious about whether or not he could hear that conversation. And if so, how he would react to it.

“You took his face between your hands, and you kissed him deeply, breaking rule #1.” — Now THATS love baby! Smudging red lipstick for him is 1000% a confirmation of how deeply she loves him!

“Before he could respond with something half gracious, he felt a bony hand get a meaty handful of his ass.” — THIS MADE ME CHOKE! Bloody hell, this poor dude can’t catch a break! 😅

““I thought you liked older women,” you teased.” — My thoughts exactly!

““Not running for the Astroglide, huh?” you whispered in his ear.” — LMAOOO THAT WAS SO OUTTA POCKET AND I LOVE HER FOR IT!! She’s got a point though!! 🤣

“So Ben,” Trina began, around a mouthful of ham. Already her voice set you on edge. “What was it like in the ‘40s? You know, with the Nazis and everything.” — TRINA YOU STUPID BITCH SHUT THE HELL UP!

“From the head of the table, Grandpa George looked over at his eldest daughter with an annoyed glint in his eye. “Katrina, do us all a favor,” he said wryly. “Keep stuffin’ your face.” — He’s an icon, he’s a legend, and he is the moment!! 👏

“Ah.” Trina peered at his plate, and then the suspect casserole. “It’s probably not quite right. God love her, but my sister’s no Gordon Ramsay.” — Somebody 👏 please 👏 smack 👏 this 👏 big mouthed 👏 slag 👏

““I was just trying to figure out what you put in this, because it’s delicious,” he said.” — I was keen to see Trina get her ass handed to her, but this is just as satisfying. Seeing him bite his tongue and saying this feels so meaningful!

“…And I just added a few raisins and walnuts this time. For some texture,” she said with a shrug. “You know, something different.” — Oh no… Marie sweetie… just, no.

““Really?” He glanced over and found Louisa sitting on the floor beside you.” — Colour me shocked, but good on you Louisa! That’s so sweet that she’s put the effort in!

“You were busy trying to cut through a present Grandpa George had wrapped with duct tape, just to be an asshole. (He did this to you every year, precisely because it frustrated you so much.)” — He’s so real for that! 🤣 Story time: when I give gifts to my brother and my mum, I put them in boxes so that I can duct tape the shit out of them so they have trouble opening it! It’s the best entertainment ever! Well, up until my birthday this year when my brother returned the favour.

“But Louisa looked up and met Ben’s gaze, giving him a wry smile and a lazy soldier’s salute.” — I love Louisa!

“Still, it was hard to get mad at someone like Marie. It would be like all those times he’d snapped at his own mother, leaving him feeling hollow inside afterwards. He’d always apologized to her later…in his own way.” — I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I adore it when you add things like this to his background. When you fill in the blanks of his past, it helps make him feel like a more fulfilling character and it really humanises him more.

““I found your stash of pictures under the bed, so I thought I’d put them together for you,” you said. You bit your lip in worry, hoping he would like it. You weren’t sure of his reaction yet.” — This is so sweet, and definitely something I myself would do! I’m very much a sentimental gift giver.

““Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he said.” — Oh my gosh this was such a cute moment!!! 😭

I’m honestly speechless, this was such an amazing chapter and it really felt like it started to tie things up! Seeing Louisa kinda come to terms with Ben, and even getting him that whisky, was amazing to see! Trina got on my nerves, but seeing as how that was her purpose I’d say you hit the nail on the head with her behaviour 🤣 and the smut was absolutely superb! Ben and Pookie have come soooo far both as a couple and as individuals, and it makes me want to reread everyone from the start of BMD just to see how much things have changed!! Impeccable work as per usual my beloved! 💖💖

Love Actually - Part 3

Paring: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader

Summary: You and Ben steel yourselves in order to meet your crazy family for Christmas dinner.  

AN: And here’s Part 3, lovelies. Stick around after the end for a special announcement (new BMD fic dropping next weekend)!

Remember, this is set in the same world as “Break Me Down,” and set before “Checkerboard.” There will be a few references to the original story in this. But on the whole, this can be read as a stand-alone!

Word Count: 5,300 Warnings: 18+ only! Smutty smut ahead. Lots of fluff and a potential overload of feels.~

Part 3: “Auld Lang Syne”

You leaned down, subtly grabbing his thigh.

“I need you,” you whispered in his ear. The tone of your voice set his blood alight with new interest.

Ben’s resulting smirk was subtle, but edged. “A tour it is.” 

Ben got up from the couch, giving you a thinly veiled look of smugness. He knew you’d come around. 

You nearly rolled your eyes. 

But when you told your grandfather your plans to show your boyfriend the rest of the house, he just waved the two of you off. He was too invested in the baseball game to give it much thought.

Which left Ben to follow you up the stairs, where he admired the curve of your ass in this little dress. He couldn’t help himself. He reached out and grabbed a delectable handful. 

You gasped and clung to the guardrail. You shot him a warning look over your shoulder, despite your smile. 

Not yet, your gaze told him. But you took his hand and guided him the rest of the way up. His grip tightened on yours.

All right. He could wait.

When they got to the second floor though, Ben started to get curious about the large two-story house. 

“I thought you said your mom had debts,” he said. “Supposedly, that’s why you took on the job of hunting me down.”

You chuckled humorlessly. “Don’t let that Betty Crocker apron fool you. She’s a degenerate gambler.”

Behind you, Ben’s brows rose a bit.

You paused a step. “Or, well, she used to be. As you know, my family has issues.”

He snorted in response. Something else occurred to him though.

“Is this the house you grew up in?” he asked. You full on stopped walking then. 

“Oh, no,” you said, with a firm shake of your head. “She sold that house after the divorce. She bought this one with the settlement money.”

Ben ruminated over that as you led him into the guest bathroom. He closed the door behind him with a soft click, and by the time he turned around, you were there with your warm hands on his chest, shoving back his jacket.

He smirked and shrugged it off the rest of the way, then draped it on the doorknob behind him. He started with unbuttoning and rolling up the sleeves of his black dress shirt. 

You watched him with hunger in your eyes, running your hands down his firm chest and solid abs. 

You heaved a breath of relief when he pulled you in. He wrapped his arms around your waist and started kissing down your neck. You clung to his arms and tried to stop yourself from digging your nails into his nice shirt. 

“What changed your mind?” Ben asked.

“Are you complaining?” you quipped.

“Always a fucking smartass,” he rejoined. And his lips left you, with him giving you raised brow. His thigh slipped between your legs, a slow and torturous friction. “Maybe I’ll just leave that pretty pussy on fire.”

Ugh, you thought. He could be so annoying. You leveled your stern eyes up at him. 

“I need you to fuck me. Right now,” you said. “Or I’m gonna rip my aunt’s face off.” 

You reached down to cup his length firmly through his slacks, earning a grunt from him. It ended on a groan when you grazed him with your nails. He chuckled deeply.

“That’s kinda hot,” he replied. An understatement. The hairs on his arms were standing up, along with his cock. 

You smiled in amusement. “You would think so.”

He grabbed your arms and meant to kiss you, but you stopped him with your fingers against his lips. 

“Two rules: this lipstick doesn’t come off. And no. Ripping. The dress.”

By no means did you want to get caught doing this. You already felt guilty, and you two hadn’t even done anything yet. But you needed this, or else you weren’t sure you could get through dinner without any violent incidents.  

But you could tell that Ben was annoyed at being given restrictions as he stared down at you. 

“You’re making a lot of fucking demands tonight,” he said, squeezing your arms a bit.  

You smirked and tilted your face up to him. You leaned up, nearly brushing your lips with his. 

“Isn’t it more satisfying when you have to work for it?” you asked.

Ben huffed, and almost rolled his eyes. If there was one thing you enjoyed doing, it was testing his fucking patience. 

But then he smirked. “Fine.”

He gripped your arms tighter and turned you around, pressing you against the pristine granite countertop. You met his darkened gaze in the mirror.  

You knew then that he was going to do one of his favorite things: taking you from behind while he made you watch. It wasn’t the first time, and you knew it wouldn’t be the last. But you parted your legs, your lower belly quivering with anticipation as his thigh encouraged you.  

His hands soothed down your arms, dragging across your body, squeezing your breasts over your dress while his lips burned down your neck once more. His teeth grazed your skin, making you shudder.

You then remembered to turn the faucet on in the sink. It would create some more background noise, and hopefully disguise your moans as his hands traveled down your body. 

You helped him slide the skirt of your dress up, tug your pantyhose down to your ankles without ripping them. 

“Hmm, I like the black lace,” he murmured behind you. His fingers dragged down your skin along with your panties.

“I know,” you replied on a shaky breath, as his fingers teased the slit of your pussy from behind, brushing between the folds. “You bought ‘em last week.”

“Did I?” he mused, as his fingers found your clit. He rubbed a bit roughly, drawing a pleased sound from your lips. “I’ve got good taste.”

A smile broke out across your face. “See? I never need to pay you any compliments. You can stroke your own ego just fine.”

Ben tilted his head at you. He peered around your shoulder to catch your eye. You gave him a sly look over your shoulder, though it was edged with desire.

“Oh yeah?” His words were a challenge. His fingers entered you then, earning an even deeper moan from you, though you tried to taper it down. “Maybe I should let you stroke your own too, huh?”

You shook your head, biting your lip. Your inner walls were already clenching on his fingers, and you had to grab his arm and the counter for balance. 

“Ben, please,” you whispered more raggedly. His smirk took on a wicked edge. 

“Oh, now it’s please?” he said, his voice drawing deeper, more gruff. “Please what?”

You couldn’t speak. His fingers were working overtime pulsing inside you, while his other hand joined, parting your folds to press on your clit like a button. You were so fucking close, you could taste it…    

But as soon as that coil began to truly tighten, Ben withdrew his fingers. You panted for breath, and your gaze snapped up to his in the mirror. You glared at him. 

“What the f—”

“Answer me,” he demanded. “Or I really will walk the fuck out right now.” 

Big talk, you thought, from the man with a rock-hard dick. But you blew out a breath and conceded to his demands. 

“Please,” you said, reaching back to stroke his cheek, running your fingers through his hair, bringing him closer. Your hand clenched in his hair. And with the other, you took his hand, still wet from where it had been inside you, and brushed it against your slippery folds. 

“This is all because of you,” you said. “Only ever for you. Fuck me until I break an ankle in these heels. ‘Til I can’t fucking breathe.”

Ben’s chest warmed. And it wasn’t just about his pride.

Somehow, you gave him everything he wanted to hear and more. Maybe that was part of what he loved about you. Even when you demanded from him, you gave him more of yourself.

So he gave you what you wanted. He guided you down onto the counter and rucked up your dress. Per rule #2, he did it gently enough so he wouldn’t rip the fabric. 

You heard his pants unzipping, felt the weeping head of his cock against your folds, teasing you for a moment. You gripped the counter and made a sound of pleading frustration. 

“I gotcha, baby,” Ben said, lowly in your ear. He gripped your hip and guided his cock inside you, nice and slow. You both breathed hard, trying to keep your voices down. He then bottomed out, and it made your inner walls flutter and tighten. He made a gutteral sound, low and pleased. “Such a good girl.”

His darkened green eyes fixed on yours in the mirror. It was heat and desire, but it was also deeper. It always had been, ever since he met you.

And for you, his gaze alone was a molten caress. If you had it your way, you could very well spend the rest of the night in the guest bathroom. In this very moment… 

But it had already been a while in here. You didn’t know how much time you had left before someone came to find you two, so you squeezed his hand on your hip. 

“Get going, cowboy,” you teased, but it was really a command. Ben saw it in your heated gaze in the mirror, meeting his. He slid out of you slow at first, but snapped back in harder. It made you jolt, but also shudder and squeeze him from the inside out. He wished he had the time to do this how he wanted, taking his time, but that was one thing they didn’t have.

He made up for it by taking you hard and deep, putting you through your paces. You held on for dear life while trying not to let your voice raise higher. It was a challenge for you, and you knew Ben liked hearing your voice. But when he hit a particularly good angle, you couldn’t help but cry out a bit. 

He brushed your hair away from your neck and pressed his lips there. He had to bite down to stifle his own grunts. It had you gasping at pain mixed with pleasure. 

He was getting close too; you could feel it in his wilder thrusts, in the tightening of his hand on your hip. You needed just a bit more.

“Ben,” you whispered. He heard the ragged need in your voice. He saw it in your eyes when he met them in the mirror, desperate for release.

“Tell me,” he ground out. 

You took his hand guided it again down to part your folds. He took the hint and once again circled the pads of his fingers against your clit—this time with purpose. Your breath hitched as the coil in your belly finally snapped and released its warmth. 

He gave you a few more hard thrusts before his hips stuttered as he groaned, and he spilled inside you. 

Oh shit. You still hadn’t gotten your IUD replaced…

Oh fucking well, you thought, as your core still quivered with pleasure. This was worth playing a bit fast and loose with your birth control.

For a while, the sounds of your mingled breaths were almost drowned out by the water running. You turned off the faucet. Then your eyes met Ben’s in the mirror, and you smiled. 

The corner of his mouth raised. He slid out of you, but you kept him close with a hand around the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair. Part of you couldn’t believe you just fucked your boyfriend in your mother’s house, in the guest bathroom of all places. But you felt all the better for it. 

Or at least, you no longer had a desire for blood. You stroked the arm that still held you upright, more bracing now than restrictive. You felt his seed spilling down your inner thighs, but you couldn’t yet force yourself to move. Your legs were still shaky. 

However, you knew you could rely on the strong pillar of his arms holding you. Ben rested his cheek against your hair, pressing a kiss there.

“You’re beautiful tonight,” he said. 

Your eyes widened with soft shock. When it slowly faded, you bit your lip. Your body shook with quiet laughter as your brows rose high.

“Right now?” you asked. With your dress rucked up and your pantyhose rolled down to your ankles.

“Yeah. Right now,” Ben said. “A fucking sight.” 

And he meant it. 

You could tell, and that warmed you down to your toes. Your smile softened as you rested against him and closed your eyes for a moment.

“You don’t know how glad I am that you’re here with me,” you said. “Thank you.”

“I’ve got some idea,” he murmured, smirking as you once again trembled with a giggle. 

You reluctantly detangled yourself from him to reach down under the sink for a washcloth. Ben let go of your waist, only so he could take the small towel from your hand. You looked up at him in confusion, but he leaned around you to run the cloth under a bit of warm water from the sink.

He then got down on one knee in front of you, and proceeded to clean you up himself. Your eyes widened as you stared down at him. Your breath caught in your throat. 

He’d never done this before. Something about it made you blush. The sheer intimacy of it, probably, of his hand running the warm cloth up your bare inner thighs. His free hand held one of your calves, his thumb resting just under your knee. 

You had to reach for his shoulder to stabilize yourself when the cloth swiped between your thighs, against your sensitive core. It made your lower belly tingle again with a spark of arousal. You breathed in slow and deep before you spoke.

“Not that I’m complaining, but…” you trailed. You weren’t even able to finish your question. 

Ben met your gaze with a raised brow. “What, can’t take care of my girl?” 

It took you a moment, but eventually you smiled. The kind of smile that made your insides warm and buoyant, and your stomach clench.

You had a feeling he’d overheard you and your sister talking earlier. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d eavesdropped with his superior hearing.

Your expression faded a bit when something occurred to you. You tilted your head at him.

“You heard everything my aunt said, didn’t you?” you asked. 

Ben paused a moment, holding the towel against your inner thigh. His lips drew downward as he remembered what he’d heard while trying to concentrate on the baseball game with George. 

“I’m just sayin’!” Trina said. “He might have forever, but you certainly don’t.”

If Louisa hadn’t stepped in when she had, Ben might’ve had to ruin his new suit, if not the evening.

“Seems like having a big fucking mouth runs in your family,” he muttered. 

You snorted. “Yeah, but mine’s endearing. She’s just a bitch, still bitter from her divorce.”

Ben didn’t answer. Though after he finished cleaning you up, he rested and elbow on his bent knee. His free hand dragged up your thigh and over your hip, squeezing soft flesh.

“Yeah well, put her in her place next time, or I will,” he said. His tone was edged, and you gave him a wry look. 

“I’ll try not to give you the chance,” you said. 

“I mean it,” Ben said. His gaze bore into yours, unyielding, even from where he knelt at your feet. He stood to his full height, tucking in his shirt and zipping his pants back up as he went. 

“No one’s got the fucking right to talk about our business,” he said. “And you better not listen to a goddamn word. About me, and sure as shit, not about you.”

A small, sharp breath got stuck in your throat. Just then, you found you had to swallow past a swell of emotion lodging in your throat. 

His hands found their way back to your hips and squeezed gently, but with purpose. You read it in his eyes. 

“You hearing me?” he asked. 

You nodded. “Yeah.”

Your aunt was someone who always “meant well.” You had gotten far too used to swallowing your tongue for your mother’s sake. And at the end of the day, you usually knew how to let Trina’s words roll off. You’d certainly had plenty of practice.

But regardless, your heart grew for this man. 

You took his face between your hands, and you kissed him deeply, breaking rule #1.

You took a few more minutes to fix your clothes, your hair, and yes, your lipstick. 

When you two eventually went back downstairs, the table was nearly set. The appetizers and wine remained, along with the plates and silverware. All that was missing was dinner itself. 

“Okay, looks like dinner’s about ready. I’m gonna go and help,” you said. You gave Ben a parting smile and let your fingers run down the back of his arm. He shot you a wink, and one last pat on the ass. 

You had to stifle your squeal, sending him a playfully warning look on your way to the kitchen. You stepped back in to see your mom pouring the cranberry sauce into a serving pitcher. 

“Oh, glad Miss Congeniality could grace us again with her presence,” Trina remarked at the sight of you. 

You gave her a flat smile. “What do you need?”

“We’re serving. Help your mom,” she said, nodding behind her. You wordlessly agreed and went over to Marie, who gave you a curious look. 

“Where were you all that time?” she asked. Louisa looked over with the same question in her eyes. 

“Well, I said hi to Grandpa,” you said. It wasn’t a lie, and technically, nor were your next words. “And then I gave Ben a tour of the house.”

When the fuck is dinner already? Ben thought as he approached the dining table filled with mini quiche, pigs-in-a-blanket, and other appetizers. His stomach was starting to growl something fierce. He was craving real food, but he still grabbed one of the small plates.

While he surveyed the layout of finger food, Great Aunt Silvia sidled up next to him with her cane in hand. Ben noticed her out of the corner of his eye. According to George, she’d had a hip replacement last month. 

“Hey, there,” he greeted somewhat politely, if distracted by adding food to his small plate.  

“Oh, my days. You’re Soldier Boy,” she said in surprise. Her eyes twinkled with delight.

Where’ve you been, lady? Ben thought in annoyance. Oh, that’s right. Passed out in a damn oxy coma.

Before he could respond with something half gracious, he felt a bony hand get a meaty handful of his ass. 

He actually flinched, more at the suddenness than anything else. A pig-in-a-blanket flew from his plate and rolled off the table. 

Ben gave the old woman an incredulous look. What the fuck? 

“Excuse me?” he uttered. 

But of course, she played dumb. And she ducked quick when you came over with the mashed potatoes in large bowl. You set it down on the table, but you noted the grouchy look on his face as he looked past you into the living room. Great Aunt Sylvia waddled away with the help of her cane, back to her nice recliner. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked, earning his attention.

“Silvia’s a wily old broad,” he muttered. At the look on your face, however, he felt the need to clarify. “Apparently she got my ass confused with the quiche.”    

You bit your lip, and your eyes widened. You had to stifle a shocked giggle as you glanced past him to your great aunt, who’d taken her usual seat by her brother. You slid Ben a knowing smirk.

“I thought you liked older women,” you teased. 

He scoffed. “Gotta draw the line somewhere. I think ‘hip replacement’ is that line.”

“Not running for the Astroglide, huh?” you whispered in his ear.  

He grimaced, even though he also wanted to laugh. He just shook his head. 

“Jesus Christ, enough.”

You stifled a laugh through your nose and soothed his arm. 

“Here, help us with getting the ham on the table. Maybe we can avoid another member of my family playing grab ass.”

Once Christmas dinner was all set on the dining table, you were practically salivating. You had a hard time deciding on what to try first: the ham, the sweet potato casserole, the cranberry sauce, or stick as much of all three on your fork as you could. 

You went with the latter, and Louisa eyed you with a laugh. 

“What?” you asked with your mouth full. It got Ben’s attention as well.

“You do this every year,” Louisa remarked. “It’s like you forgot how long it takes to get dinner on the table in this house.”  

“I’m freakin’ starving,” you admitted. 

“Yeah? Worked up an appetite, did you?” Ben asked, a bit pointedly, despite the way he sipped at his wine. (And paying you back for that Astroglide quip). 

You shot him a warning look at his audacity.

Louisa seemed to be the only one who caught the exchange, with a suspicious brow raise. 

“So Ben,” Trina began, around a mouthful of ham. Already her voice set you on edge. “What was it like in the ‘40s? You know, with the Nazis and everything.”

You and Ben shared a subtle glance. His jaw clenched. 

Fuuuucking hell, you thought.

From the head of the table, Grandpa George looked over at his eldest daughter with an annoyed glint in his eye. 

“Katrina, do us all a favor,” he said wryly. “Keep stuffin’ your face.” 

You bit your lip against a grin. Louisa shared your same problem, snorting into her Diet Coke. 

Trina looked adequately indignant, but to everyone’s relief, she just pursed her lips and speared at her plate.  

The rest of dinner was interesting, to say the least, with many questions thrown to Ben about his celebrity days. He ate up the attention, just as you thought he would. It seemed your little escapade upstairs loosened him up too. He told his favorite stories, editing the more graphic anecdotes out of some of them, you noticed gratefully. 

The atmosphere only got tense when Ben bit into some kind of casserole Marie made. The texture was soft and stringy with green beans, but there was something unpleasantly sweet, and even crunchy in the middle. Uncooked noodles, maybe? Frankly, he wasn’t sure what he was eating. 

“You all right, hun?” Marie asked him. 

“What is this?” Ben asked, pointing down at his plate with a fork. 

“Ah.” Trina peered at his plate, and then the suspect casserole. “It’s probably not quite right. God love her, but my sister’s no Gordon Ramsay.”

You frowned as your mom’s gaze fell. Her lips drew downwards in disappointment. 

Before you could speak up, Ben’s voice stopped you. 

“You know what,” Ben said. His voice was tight, in a way that told you he might just snap. Your aunt’s questions had gotten more intrusive and annoying over the past hour, too much even for him to let roll down his back. He was used to dealing with shitty press, but Trina was fucking relentless.

Someone better fucking muzzle this bitch before I do it for her. 

The words were about to fly out of his mouth, in a very real threat. Ben only took his belt off in public for two reasons: a good fuck and a good old-fashioned hog tie. Your aunt was about to get the latter. 

However, he could tell by the way you were gripping the edge of the table, you were bracing yourself for whatever he was going to say next. All eyes were on him.

Ben drew in a breath. With every cell of effort left in him, he turned to Marie with a smile. As pleasant as he could manage. 

“I was just trying to figure out what you put in this, because it’s delicious,” he said.

Marie blinked with a bit of surprise, but then, she brightened. 

“Oh…well, it’s just green bean casserole. A bit of butter, some Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup. That classic recipe,” she said.

But she paused, in a way that told Ben that the other shoe was about to drop. 

“…And I just added a few raisins and walnuts this time. For some texture,” she said with a shrug. “You know, something different.”

She smiled at Ben, while he and the rest of the table tried not to grimace. Who the fuck puts raisins in cream of mushroom? That’s just wrong.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she said.

Ben offered her a nod, but he had to take a long sip of wine to wash the unpleasant mix of overbearing salt and sweetness down. 

He felt your soft hand squeeze his under the table. When he looked over, he found your subtle, thankful smile. The corner of his mouth raised, however slightly. 

The night ticked on, and Ben subtly checked his watch while he chilled out on the couch. He was at the edge of the festivities now, as your family was exchanging gifts by the modest Christmas tree in the living room. 

He surveyed them all—warm and comfortable with one other as they joked and hugged and talked and laughed. Even Trina looked less irritating. 

Ben felt a bit like an intruder. 

Hell, he didn’t think he’d ever had this. A quiet, family Christmas.  

Though he was a bit surprised when Marie was the first one to walk over to him. She sat down on the couch and offered him two gift bags. One was larger than the other.

“You didn’t have to,” he told her, but she waved him off.

“Nonsense. When I saw this, I couldn’t help thinking of you,” she said. Ben began opening the larger one first. It was a simple, dark blue bag. 

“You might think it’s silly,” she said, folding her hands in her lap in a slightly nervous gesture. “Feel free to return it if you don’t like it.”

Ben pulled out a nice bottle of whiskey. He actually appreciated this one. 

“Oh! That’s from Louisa,” said Marie. 

“Really?” He glanced over and found Louisa sitting on the floor beside you. 

You were busy trying to cut through a present Grandpa George had wrapped with duct tape, just to be an asshole. (He did this to you every year, precisely because it frustrated you so much.)  

But Louisa looked up and met Ben’s gaze, giving him a wry smile and a lazy soldier’s salute. His lips quirked, and he inclined his head in wordless thanks.

“This one next,” Marie prompted him. She tapped on the second gift bag, which was bright green and shiny. 

There he found a leatherbound journal and a set of silver ballpoint pens. They looked expensive. They also reminded him of a set his father used to keep in his desk, in his study. Even the smell of the leather brought him back to that room, filled with books, crisp ink-filled pages, and tumblers of whiskey.  

“I’ve worked in a hospital for over ten years, in the psychology wing,” Marie said. “I see a lot of veterans. Lisa, my friend who’s a nurse? She told me that writing things down can help with memories you want to keep, and sort through the ones you’d rather not.” 

Ben held her gaze for a moment, but it soon fell to the journal. He didn’t really know what to say. For once, he was at a loss for words. 

Mostly because he was irritated. He didn’t need what she was offering, and implying…

Still, it was hard to get mad at someone like Marie. It would be like all those times he’d snapped at his own mother, leaving him feeling hollow inside afterwards. He’d always apologized to her later…in his own way. 

But that was a long time ago.

“Sorry,” Marie said eventually. “I know, you’re too busy for all that. But at least you’ve got the whiskey.”

“Thank you,” Ben said. But the reserved smile he offered her was more genuine than even he expected. The journal and the pens still laid in his lap. 

Marie smiled warmly, and in it, Ben saw your inner softness. The way you cared about your family and your friends, and him…he knew then that it began here.

Marie gave his cheek a motherly pat. Ben allowed it, begrudgingly.

“We’re so glad you’re here, honey,” she said. “I hope you had a good time.”

He was a bit relieved when she finally moved on. She headed over to Louisa, who was opening one of her gifts. You got up off the floor returned to your boyfriend with a wrapped box in your hand. First, you admired his small haul. 

“Look who’s popular,” you noted with a grin. Ben gave you a bemused look and put the gifts back in their respective bags. 

“I’ve got one more for you,” you said, with a teasing smile that made him suspicious. You handed him the box, which was about the size of a large book. The sticker said it was from you, to him.

His brows furrowed. “What’s this?”

You already got him the watch. But at your gesturing, he ripped the green wrapping paper off to find…a photo album. 

“Really, what is this?” he asked. 

“You can’t tell?”

“I know what it is—”

“Well, then open it,” you prodded. You sat down next to him as he started flipping through the album. 

The very first picture wiped the curious expression from his face. It was his mother, crisp in black and white. She was young and beautiful and smiling almost shyly for the camera on a windy day. 

Right beside it, there was one of his parents’ wedding pictures, old and yellowed around the corners. The third was a faded picture of the club where his parents met. His mother had been a singer there. 

You leaned over with a hand on his shoulder. Ben looked over at you.

“What the hell did you do?” Ben he asked. His face was hard to read, but he didn’t look upset. His tone was more resigned.

“I found your stash of pictures under the bed, so I thought I’d put them together for you,” you said. You bit your lip in worry, hoping he would like it. You weren’t sure of his reaction yet.

After a moment, he kept flipping. Next were a few pictures of himself, incredibly young and already with a familiar cocky grin. There was even a rare picture of him and his parents together. He remembered when and where it was taken—at his father’s birthday, right after Ben got kicked out of boarding school. 

He hadn’t looked at these pictures in…hell. It’d been decades. He'd retrieved them from an old storage locker last month, but hadn't gotten around to actually opening up the box. Now, he supposed, he didn't have to.

But the album then skipped ahead, by a lot, because the next row of pictures was unfamiliar to him—ones you must’ve added. 

They were of the Supe Affairs team. One was a group picture Hughie managed to grab with all of you in it. 

There was another right beside it, of Hughie trying to lift Ben’s shield. 

“When the fuck did that little shit get ahold of my shield?” Ben groused.

“No idea,” you said with a smile, and you flipped the page. There was an old school polaroid of you with Frenchie and Kimiko, sharing milkshakes. Then you and Annie, clinking cocktails together. Followed by you and M.M. trying to beat Butcher at backgammon. 

And then one of you, your friend Yvette, and her son Devon in Central Park. Another beside it, on that same day, where Ben had an arm raised high and parallel to the ground, and Devon clung onto his arm with a wide smile. 

Ben lingered on that picture for a moment. He was too engrossed in it to see you glance at him, smiling.

He flipped to the next page, where there was a picture of just you and Ben, sleeping in the jet on the way back from a rare field mission you were a part of. He was still in his supe suit, with an arm thrown around your waist. You were resting on his chest, and both of you were completely knocked out. Ben quirked a smile at that one. 

On that page and the next was a series of pictures from the past few months. He didn’t know this, but you’d been collecting them from your phone and had gotten them developed. 

There was the first time Ben got you to ride a motorcycle with him. You were apprehensive, clinging to him for dear life while he grinned. It had taken him a while to convince you to hop on, but the only thing that worked was finally telling you the truth. 

“You really think for one damn second that I’m gonna let you fall?”

The next picture was one he got of you, fresh out of the shower with a towel barely wrapped around you. You were clearly annoyed, but also amused that he’d surprised you with the camera. Ben now pointed to it.

“That one’s my favorite,” he grinned.

“Shocker,” you said with a chuckle. “Keep flipping.”

He then got to one you took of him. He was sitting out on the balcony, half-dressed with a cigar puffing away. The sun was setting beyond him. You caught his profile as he turned to look at you over his shoulder. 

It was a good memory for you, and some damn good photography skills, if you did say so yourself. 

But there was another picture that drew Ben’s eye. It was one that Annie sneakily took of you and him on a night out with her, Hughie, Kimiko, and Frenchie. After a bit of alcohol and cajoling, you’d managed to get Ben out on the dance floor. You were both dewy with sweat from dancing. The lighting was off because of the darkness of the club. 

But the way he was holding you, looking at you with fire thinly veiled behind his eyes, and the way you were looking up at him, like you’d never been more satisfied than to be right where you were…

It was a damn perfect moment captured in four corners. And as Ben’s finger traced the edge of them, he couldn’t stop staring at what it held. 

Until you leaned in and kissed his cheek. 

“Merry Christmas,” you said. And you hoped it was officially a good one.  

When Ben once again turned his head to look at you, he couldn’t help but reach out and frame your face with his hand. He then leaned in and kissed you, unhurried, but with an underlying passion. 

Delightful heat crawled down your spine. You grasped his collar to keep him where you wanted him. 

Meanwhile, the two of you didn’t realize that the rest of your family was surreptitiously watching the little scene. Trina and Marie shared amused smiles. George was glad to see that you finally seemed happy. Sylvia was, once again, passed out in the recliner.

Louisa’s expression was more reserved…but her eyes softened. Maybe she didn’t have to worry about you so much after all.

And when Ben finally parted from you, he thumbed gently at your chin.  

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he said.

You and Ben left your mother’s house with plenty of leftover food and a haul of presents, which you both brought upstairs into your apartment. 

“So, I know there were some snafus, but it was nice, right?” you asked him as you made your way into the bedroom.

Ben was already there at his dresser, taking off his new watch and placing it back in its black suede box for safe keeping. He considered your words with a nod, and a smile you couldn’t see.

“It wasn’t bad,” he said. 

You nodded in satisfaction. That was practically a glowing review, coming from him. 

His gaze found yours in the mirror, those perfectly red painted lips forming a smile as you approach from behind. Your hands travelled through the bows of his arms to unbuckle his belt for him. 

“I know you did me a lot of favors today, but I’m gonna need one more,” you said, with a coy smile curving your lips. “I need your help taking off this lipstick.”

Smirking, Ben turned in your arms and leaned back casually against the dresser. Using his unfastened belt as leverage, you leaned up in your heels and met his lips in a slow, but fiery kiss.

His eyes unconsciously closed as the scent of your perfume once again invaded his nose. It was less powerful by now, but it still clung to your skin like a soft imprint. He liked it. 

After your lips drew away from his, Ben watched you make a show of undoing the small latch on his pants, and then his zipper. He sunk his fingers into the soft waves of your hair, and he gave you a charming grin that once got him starlets and movie deals. 

“Well, I’m nothing if not a gentleman,” he said.  

You smirked at that. You didn’t know if fucking you in your mom’s house constituted as gentlemanly behavior, but you’d let that slide. 

And you did some sliding yourself, down his strong thighs and onto your knees. He could take care of you all right, but you prided yourself on taking care of him too. 

AN: And there you have it, folks. 😜 What did you think? From bathroom shenanigans and Christmas dinner to some good old-fashioned gift giving. I think we covered it all! lol

Coming Soon: "Strong As Blood"

The next story I have lined up for the BMD-verse will probably be my last planned one for a hot minute, other than one request I got that I really want to do in the near future (but I haven't written it as of yet).

This next one is called, "Strong As Blood":

Summary: After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out? 

(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)

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Out Of The Darkness, Chapter 5

‘Loki, are you even listening?’

‘Hm, yeah, sure.’ Loki said absentmindedly.

‘What did I just say, then?’ Steve asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Loki glanced at him and frowned. ‘Probably useless rambling, as usual.’

‘What’s going on?’ Tony asked as he walked over to Loki and Steve.

They were in the training hall, Loki had been helping Steve to set up some new obstacles. But Bruce was teaching yoga to Grace, Natasha and Wanda at the other side of the hall.

‘Loki here is too distracted with the yoga class going on over there.’ Steve nodded his head towards them.

‘Got a crush on Bruce in those tight shorts?’ Tony teased, but Loki wasn’t even listening.

He couldn’t take his eyes off Grace. She was wearing a sports bra and stretchy yoga pants. He felt bad for staring, but he just couldn’t help himself.

‘You should go join them.’ Steve said as he nudged Loki’s arm.

Loki spun around and glared at him for daring to touch him like that. ‘Do not nudge me.’ He growled.

‘Well you’re no help here. Go be annoying and useless elsewhere.’ Steve said as he continued with the task at hand.

‘Gladly.’ Loki drawled.

Bruce and the girls were just finishing up with their yoga session when Loki walked over.

‘Too late to join in this time, Loks. Tomorrow?’ Natasha smirked at him. She knew exactly why he came over, she had noticed him gawping at Grace.  

‘I don’t need to do yoga, my mind and body is already in good shape, thank you.’ Loki smirked.

‘Just eyeing up the sexy bums then, huh?’ Wanda teased as she stuck her bum out towards him.

Loki rolled his eyes at her.

‘We all know Bruce has the sexiest bum here.’ Natasha said playfully.

Bruce laughed. ‘It can certainly be the largest if you like green ones.’

‘Which Loki does, since it’s his favourite colour.’ Wanda cackled.

Loki shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, while the others just laughed.

‘Do you feel any calmer after your yoga session?’ Loki asked Grace as he walked her back to her room.

‘Uhm, not sure. My muscles feel nice and stretched, but honestly, some of the moves were just odd. And it seems I have a bit of a dirty mind. I mean come on, downward dog? And plough pose?’ Grace smirked up at Loki, who threw his head back with laughter.

‘Yes, you Midgardians do have some odd names for things.’

‘Definitely… But I don’t think yoga is for me. I might just try jogging or something.’ Grace shrugged.

‘What did you enjoy doing when you were younger? Apart from being in the garden?’ Loki asked.

‘I actually quite enjoyed playing basketball at school. Maybe I should try that, too. Though I did lose interest with that when I got older, I was more in the clubbing and disobeying my parent’s stage before… you know. So I don’t really know what I should be into right now.’

‘Maybe you should go clubbing, see if you still enjoy that.’ Loki grinned.

Grace snorted. ‘I don’t know, I was never good at the dancing part anyway. I just threw some drinks down my throat and kind of threw myself around to the music. Maybe it’s a good thing I’ve skipped that few years of my life, the embarrassing stage.’

‘No, no, no. You’re not getting off with that one that easy. Everyone, even Gods, go through that phase. We will get you out clubbing soon, I need to see you dancing, or as you call it, throwing yourself around.’ Loki winked at her, making her laugh.

-

The following morning, Grace was outside near the back garden with Clint and Natasha. She didn’t want to go out alone, but when they offered to go for a wander around with her, she didn’t refuse as she really wanted some fresh air.

She opened up to them a bit about her life, more or less what she had already told Loki. Natasha shared about her past too, it made Grace feel better knowing that she wasn’t alone in having a rough past. Loki certainly hadn’t been lying when he said they all had things they weren’t proud of, though some were worse than others.

Loki was inside but he noticed Grace outside with Clint and Natasha, she kept looking to the walled garden a lot. But that’s when he got an idea…

He waited until Grace came back in with the other two, then he sought her out in the den. She had her headphones on, so he used his little fireworks on front of her to get her attention.

She pulled her headphones off and turned to look at him. ‘Hey sparkles.’ She grinned.

Loki narrowed his eyes at her, but there was a hint of a smirk on his lips as he moved round to sit next to her. ‘Watch it, you.’ He growled playfully.

He had noticed more of her personality was starting to come through, she was getting more comfortable and confident in herself and around everyone.

‘How would you like to take on a project?’ Loki asked.

Grace raised an eyebrow at him. ‘What sort of project?’

‘I can tell you’re interested in the walled garden out back, I thought perhaps, it could be a project to get it back up and going again? If it’s something you might be interested in.’

Loki saw her eyes light up at the suggestion, she looked really excited at first. But then her smile disappeared and she looked down at her hands in her lap.

‘Oh… Uh, it’s a great idea, Loki… But I, I just don’t think I’d be overly comfortable out there. Out of the safety of all the security and stuff. Maybe once he is found and prisoned… But I don’t think I’d feel safe out there right now… As much as I love the idea.’ She sounded really disappointed, and she really was.

The idea was wonderful and she really did love the sound of it. She’d already imagined about what she would do in the garden if she ever had the chance, but the fear was just too strong. She was only just comfortable enough going about inside on her own when she had her headphones on. Because she knew security was super tight.

Loki nodded, he felt sad for her though. He could tell she really wanted to.

‘That’s understandable. But if you do change your mind, it’s already cleared with Stark. Not that he would have much say in the matter, if you wanted to take it on.’ Loki chuckled.

‘Thanks, Loki. I really appreciate the thought.’ Grace genuinely was grateful to him for thinking about her.

-

‘What’s he doing?’ Grace asked Natasha and Thor as she approached the window that overlooked the back garden.

Loki was out there, very slowly going around the perimeter with green magic spouting from the palm of his hands as he waved them around.

‘He told me briefly that he’s setting up a permanent security boundary, that only select people can get through. I was then told to go away, so that’s all I know.’ Said Thor.

‘I’m guessing he didn’t say ‘go away’, he’s not that polite.’ Natasha said.

‘Yes, that was putting it lightly.’ Thor confirmed.

‘Is he… Is he doing that for me?’ Grace asked quietly, stepping closer to the window.

‘He sure is. Tony said he’d asked him about letting you take it on as a project, but he was going to make it safe for you.’ Natasha said with a smile.

Grace felt tears well up in her eyes. She couldn’t believe he was doing that, for her.

‘I know when he uses his magic that leaves something permanent, it takes a lot out of him physically and mentally for a while. So he’s not doing this lightly. He really likes you, Grace. And it’s not common that my brother likes someone.’ Thor chuckled.

‘He does seem to have warmed up to you more than he has with any of the rest of us. I notice when you’re cheeky with him he doesn’t want to stab you like he does with the rest of us.’ Natasha grinned at Grace, who blushed in response.

She couldn’t take her eyes off Loki while he did his magic, it was going to take him ages to go around the whole garden.

‘He’s been nothing but nice to me, he’s really looked out for me… I still can’t believe he’s doing this… for me.’

[notstilinski]

The Midnight Club Starters !

Taken from  the 2022 Netflix series, The Midnight Club! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers! (And potential trigger warnings throughout).

“We are the authors of our own stories. Sure, we can’t always control the plot, but we can decide who we want to be.”

“Yeah, half the water bottles in the kitchen are being used as ashtrays so-“

“I think she’s trying to make a couple mistakes.”

“So, just walk me through the worst case. Worst case. Just… Paint a picture.”

“It’s tough to fucking hear, too, doc. Give it a try.”

“I promised (Name). I promised (Name) that I would take care of you.”

“To focus on living instead of fighting.”

“Do you believe in ghosts, newbie?”

“Myself, I’ve got my fingers crossed that I’ll be an entry-level poltergeist when we finally forget to fuck with people.”

“If she was a heretic, I’m going straight to hell.”

“They said that they could feel something following them, like a living shadow, but every time they turned around, gone.”

“To those before and those after. To us now and to those beyond. Seen or unseen, here or not here.”

“You’ll be surprised what grief can grow on.”

“There’s something else under it. Just… Give her some time. They’re actually wan okay to good person when they thaw.”

“They say dance, don’t miss a step. But it’s not possible when it’s so crowded.”

“I’d say it’s good to hear your voice, but I hear it all day long.”

“People fear death even more than pain.”

“It’s strange that they fear death. At the point of death, pain is over.”

“I don’t know. I’m mostly proud that they said ‘shitty’.”

“Mask off, angel. We’ve known each other too long for that.”

“Oh, damn, kid. Look what I did.”

“I’m sorry, guys. I’m realizing now that... Yeah, that totally went into angel porn towards the end, didn’t it?”

“I mean, I’ve tried some crazy stuff. Like really crazy stuff. Honestly, I tried just about anything, because I don’t want to die anymore than the rest of us do but-“

“What if she lured us here with our sickness just to bake us into pies?”

“I’m so fucking scared I’m going to die before I see my parents again.”

“Maybe that’s what angels are, really. Maybe angels are just second chances.”

“How about you shut the fuck up and let me help you?”

“You deserve better than me. You really, really do.”

“Damn, man, I don’t know how you���re doing it, but you’re making me feel bad for a guy who killed a classroom full of people.”

“I don’t know what you guys want, but I must say no.”

“Death is getting familiar now. It… lives here. You feel that, right? It lives… here.”

“Hey, beautiful. It’s a jailbreak.”

“This is all I know of love, and I give it to you, (Name).”

“But instead of feeling saved, I felt chewed up and spit out, like it had eaten parts of me.”

“There’s this voice in my head, you know, and it just keeps telling me, “You’re broken, you’re broken, you’re broken” over and over.”

“And, yeah, I walked away, but all I wanted was for you to come find me.”

“That I don’t have to hate myself because I’m here, and they’re not!”

“We were wasting time trying to change something that couldn’t be changed.”

“I’m… I’m sorry for you… I’m just sorry.”

“Just seeing how long it takes the water to make me numb.”

“A lot of lost souls at rest stops. Angels and devils and the whole fucking lot.”

“I thought I wanted to die. But I survived, and I realized how much I wanted to live.”

“However you feel is correct. However your feelings, whatever it is, is right.”

“Me either. And I’d totally lie about it if I thought it was funny, but it’s not funny.”

“Do you understand the kind of toll you take on them? How hard it is for them to put on a show for you every fucking time?”

“We love you. And we love the world with you in it. So stick around for as long as you fucking can, got it?”

“If you even think of giving Jesus the credit, I will haunt you twice as scary because I’m definitely going to haunt you after the nonsense. You got it coming.”

“Add time to anything at all, and you change. A little… or a lot.”

“And, um, (Name). You go make that future something good, okay? For us.”

“I think their ideas of sick and well are backwards. And I think you knew that. Better than anyone.”

“Let me look at you, one really good look, please.”

“‘Love doesn’t die, people do.’”

“Please, I don’t want to hurt you. Just kill you.”

“There you go. That’s it. That’s the ending, you may all go die now.”

“I’ll be dancing with the fireflies.”

“I don’t know if it’s possible not to hurt the people you care about. Doesn’t mean you have to be alone.”

“You did what you did out of hope.”

“But I’ve been thinking dying is a real shitty reason not to live.”

[unfoundhoney]

a sister’s sacrifice ; part three ↠

↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst just angst

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;

↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat @bestioe @junoblad3 @machiebach @ok-honey

when considering the deaths of the people on the dream smp server, yours is the hardest

schlatt was detested by all when he’d died

few people still truly cared for wilbur when he met his end; the man he once was was long gone by then

but you

you never changed

you were a constant for so many & immovably kind to the rest

selfless, giving, caring

even when you just wanted an escape, you came to the aid of your brothers

you gave the ultimate sacrifice & paid the price

everyone mourns you

when the battle is won & dream locked away indefinitely

once everyone has come down from the high of freeing themselves from dream’s reign, the server goes into a state of grieving

there’s no denying your death

they all saw the message in chat

you’re dead

those that were close to you took it hard

niki was narrowly stopped from burning down the bakery you encouraged her to open and helped build

eret put her emotions into work on a memorial in their museum for you

even under the egg’s control, bad & ant put the eggpire aside for you

of course, those who took it the hardest is your family

when ghostbur learns of your death, he’s distraught

he doesn’t quite know how to handle the information

he protects your home & only allows people to enter when he supervises them

tommy took a while to move past his anger & deal with the fact that you’re gone

tubbo ran off to start snowchester

he chose to distract himself rather than truly process his emotions, even if you’d always done your best to break that habit of his

now that you’re not around, who’s to stop him from letting himself be numb to it all?

techno is another one of your family members who chose to barely acknowledge your passing

he became somehow more monotonous & emotionless

and phil

...

there’s no word for a parent who loses a child

wilbur was gone & of course it messed phil up to be the one to take will’s last life but by that point his son was gone

but you

you’d always been such a genuinely good person

phil did so little for you as a father

he was so absent

he never apologized to you for that

he never told you how much he loves & appreciates you & everything you’ve done to keep their family together when he couldn’t be bothered

it’s a few hours after he received the news from ranboo that all the guilt for everything he had ever put you through hit him

he broke down in his kitchen while trying to distract himself by organizing his cupboards

but all he could think about was you

you & your never ending kindness & compassion

he was never a father to you

yet you never hated him

why couldn’t you have hated him?

it would hurt less to lose you if you hated him; it’s what he deserves

he’s unworthy of your love

but he can only dwell so long on you

you are given a proper funeral

you’re buried by the seashore, somewhere between l’manberg and tommy’s abandoned vacation homes in an open field

the sever members plant so many flowers, your gravesite becomes a flower field

but soon, life goes on

it will only hurt for longer to draw out the mourning period

it would do no good for anyone

besides, you wouldn’t want the server to be sad for your sake

techno supposes it’s for the best that you died

he does his best to move on, filling his days with resource gathering and upgrading his tools, weapons, and armor while trying to think through his emotions logically

as much as he liked you

as much as everyone liked you, you were too good

you were the best of them

fate is not kind to heroes

“hello!”

technoblade is not an easy man to sneak up on, let alone scare

the greeting itself isn’t want startles him

it’s turning toward the voice to lock eyes with you

you who is dead

techno is not proud of the sound he made when he saw you but you of all people wouldn’t make fun of him for it

he just stares at you, slowly realizing what’s happened

you look desaturated, the color drained from your clothes

your skin is grey & almost translucent

you’re a ghost

“y/n.”

“hello! who are you?”

techno tells no on one of your ghost form

he even keeps the rest of the server a secret from you

he leads you to your old home & leaves you there w/ ghostbur

he hopes your and ghostbur’s combined amnesia will keep you out of harm’s way i.e. the rest of the server

he visits you occasionally but mostly leaves you be

you live happily with ghostbur for a while

he is very glad to have you back

his memory is nearly as bad as yours, so the story of the server & what happened to you when you were alive is only given to you in bits & pieces that are near impossible to fit together

it was only a matter of time before someone came to visit your house

“...y/n?”

it’s tubbo who finds you first

or he finds your ghost

(tubbo) y/n! oh my god! you’re a ghost! you’ve come back!

(you) hello! *whispers* ghostbur, who is this?

(ghostbur, whispering obviously) that’s tubbo, one of your other brothers i’ve told you about

(you, whispering) oh, right

(tubbo) how long have you- oh, this is incredible! i have to tell tommy! he’s been so sad since you died; he’ll be so glad to see you!

tubbo messages tommy, who is skeptical but reluctantly comes to your house anyway

but there you are

your ghost anyway

which is good enough, honestly

(tommy) y/n!

you catch him in a hug easily, even if you’ve never met him before

(tommy) you’re alive!

(you) no i’m not. i’m a ghost!

techno happens to check in on you when tubbo & tommy are there

bad news for technoblade: you’d told them about techno leading you here

meaning: tommy knows techno hid you from him & everyone else

needless to say, he is not too happy about that

(tommy) you hid her! you kept her away from us!

(techno) tommy, you have to understand-

(tommy) i don’t have to understand shit! you hid her from us! you lied to us!

(techno) tommy-

(tommy) you kept her from everyone! you’re selfish and you’re a liar and you’re horrible and-

(techno) i did it to protect her! she’s been hurt enough protecting others; it’s our turn to protect her. the only way we can do that is by leaving her alone

(tommy) she’s my sister

(techno) your sister is dead, tommy. for once in her life, let her have peace

tommy gives up on techno & goes to you instead

(tommy) y/n! y/n, we can bring you back. we can revive you. well, dream can revive you but he’s in prison so he has to do what we say so we can bring you back. we can be a family again. don’t you want to come back?

(you) ...no

that

...

that isn’t what tommy was expecting

(tommy) what?

(you) if alive y/n comes back, i won’t exist anymore. and i’ve only just got here. i don’t want to go yet

(tommy) don’t you understand how much y/n means to me? y/n has to come back. she has to. she’s so important. not just to me but to, um... tubbo as well! right, tubbo? don’t you want y/n back?

tommy looks to tubbo for some backup but the shorter boy looks away

(tubbo) i think we need to let y/n go, tommy

the betrayal that fills tommy’s chest is soon gone as he locks eyes with techno

tommy knows techno is right

you’re too much of a good person

you’re too willing to sacrifice yourself for others

even as a ghost your kindness is blinding

this server will only drain you of everything you have yet again

he will drain you of everything you are

he’s just tried to convince you to cease to exist to bring back the former version of yourself

(you) i’m sorry. it’s just- i’ve heard there are these really pretty blue flowers in the swamp biome that i haven’t got to see yet-

(tommy) no. it’s fine. i’m sorry. i-... i should go.

tommy leaves your house & tubbo goes with him

even if tubbo caught on a bit sooner to techno’s reasoning, he’s still concerned at his friend’s sudden change in character

(tubbo) tommy... are you alright?

(tommy) ...i really want her back

(tubbo) i do, too. but she’s gone

(tommy) she doesn’t have to be

tubbo can’t argue with that

(tommy) but... maybe it’s for the best

(tubbo) really?

(tommy) yeah.

(tubbo) but just earlier you were telling me about your plan to get the revive book from dream

(tommy) techno’s right, tubbo. all everyone- myself included- has ever done to y/n is take. and she’s given everything

(tubbo) because she loved us

(tommy) as much as she loved us and as much as we loved her... the only thing we’ve ever brought her is pain. i think now... now is her time to rest.

(tubbo) ...that’s very pog champ of you, big man

tommy had planned to visit dream as many times as it took to get the revive book location off of him so he could revive you, but now he’s accepted that he needs to move on

he needs to move on from you & dream & everything dream has put him through

he decides to pay one last visit to dream, put him behind him, & never look back

he’s ready to start a new chapter in his life, one without dream

and the first one without you

but then he’s locked in the prison

two weeks pass

nearing three weeks & tommy still isn’t allowed out of dream’s cell

he’s irritated and annoyed and most of all he’s scared

but he can’t let dream know he’s still afraid of him, that’s why he pisses dream off enough to the point of being beat to death

tommy begs him to stop

but then he’s gone

everything is dark

black

empty

nothing

is this what death is?

conscious in absolute nothingness?

tommy’s feet feel the ground beneath him

his senses come back to him

it’s still dark but he feels as though he can see again

where is he?

heaven?

no, probably hell

or maybe neither?

both...?

what the hell happened?

the first thing to break the silence is the voice tommy has known since he was an infant

the voice of the person who raised him

the voice of the person who has always been there for him

the voice of the person who he has finally let go of

your voice

saying one simple word

“tommy?”

[arigatonamuse]

Act 2 - A SUMMER of Overcomings! (pt2)

CW: i will be mentioning an instance of parental neglect and violence

also a lil disclaimer: i'm not the biggest fan of Water Me so i won't be talking a lot about the play itself

Chapter 21

Sakyo is here!

jdhvjgdf everyone’s reactions to Sakyo are so fun

Sakyo i see right through you, you care so much

yes he is, Tenma, glad you see right through him too

oh here it comes ;w;

do you think Yukio ever looked that happy when he was back home with izumi and her mum?

SUMI MY BELOVED

this scene is too cute i love it so much

i’m showing this scene to my cousin bc i know Misumi would be one of their favourites and 

also Izumi pointing out that Sumi must’ve been holding it has got me thinking… do you think maybe Yuzo’s visit was the reason for it? Was he holding it because he was trying to jog his memory or connect the dots? Or maybe because he knew he’d be seeing his grandpa’s old troupe and he wanted some of that extra comfort?

Chapter 22

oh no Omi time (i’m gonna cry)

he’s so nice and friendly right from the start

we all agree that this must’ve hurt Omi a shit ton, right?

OKAY THIS HITS SO MUCH HARDER NOW

do you think Omi tried to mentally “speak to” Nachi while he was on the stage? because i do now and i need someone to share that pain with

Chapter 23

oh no this chapter

Godza time

the change from Reni kills me, more so now that we Understand 

Yuki not understanding the appeal of fanservice is so special to me, actually

bruh can these boys shut up

YOU GO YUKKI

THE CG I’M TEARING UP NOW

(i’m showing this chapter to my cousin and i think this may help me get them into A3!)

Chapter 24

oh no i’m not ready for more

Sumi so cute

oh here it comes

Kazu please,, 

he’s trying so hard to remain neutral it kinda hurts

Kazu the reason there’s a vote is BECAUSE Izumi and Tenma couldn’t decide by themselves come on now

Tenma IS right now but it still hurts to see Kazu get upset 

i’m pouting irl now

Chapter 25

so Kazu DOES flirt as a way to keep people at a distance huh?

y’know the fact that even before his chat with Izumi, Kazu DID seek her out and talked about having an opinion with her and apologising for earlier… that’s a huge leap for Kazu and it shows that there’s already trust and initiative in him for his change

i’m glad that Kazu’s as introspective as he is, but it also hurts me to think just for how long he’s been carrying this issue with himself without being able to talk or do anything about it because of fear

i am so emo about Kazunari Miyoshi

I AM SO EMO ABOUT KAZUNARI MIYOSHI

yeah he def flirts as a defense mechanism kinda thing, he flirted at Izumi to kinda declare the end of the vulnerable conversation

glad Izumi clarified things right after

Chapter 26

man this batch of chapters don’t give us any time to breathe huh?

YOU GO KAZU I’M PROUD OF YOU

IGAWA IS HERE

i’d forgotten how anxious he sounded heh

and here comes the parental neglect 

i hate Mr Sumeragi so much

i do like how the entire troupe has come to genuinely care about Tenma tho they may not have been friends by the trip, but they sure are now

Chapter 27

omw to fight Mr Sumeragi, who's with me?

it’s like he’s trying to be shitty, the neglect and physical violence combination is so awful

honestly now that i’m thinking about it with his father being as harsh/violent as he seems to be here, i would NOT be surprised if early Tenma was unknowingly perpetuating the cycle of abuse

and we finally get some backstory and explanations

this is one of my fave Izumi lines ever and i think it can and should be applied to life in general

Chapter 28

i love how much everyone cares about Tenma but also it’s kinda sad to think that they seem to worry about him more than his own parents

room 201 bickering is actually nice to read now heh

Chapter 29

YUZO AND TETSURO

i am SO emo about this line i need to give Misumi a hug asap

i’m so emotional, i can’t write any notes because of the emotions

Sumi comparing Izumi to a triangle means so much to me, highest of compliments tbh

i’m so so emo about this chapter

Chapter 30

deep breaths alright here we go

Yuki is the MVP of this whole ep tbh

No notes because i’m just quietly taking all this just like the charas are too

Chapter 31

their moods are so down i’m getting down too, is this what empathy is? /hj

i am, once again, hoping miss Izumi gets a chance to go on stage again

Izumi’s speech here is so so so good, highlight of the entire natsu arc

IZUMI DESERVES TO BE ON STAGE SO BAD

this is the beauty of performing arts, their ephemeral nature is part of their beauty and importance to humanity (god i'm starting to sound like my theatre prof)

IZUMI WHY DON’T YOU APPLY THIS TO YOURSELF

i want Sumi to hug me like that ;w; please ;w;

just hearing Misumi cheer makes me so happy i love him

Chapter 32

something something Yuki riling Tenma up as a way to check on him and showing he cares

Misumi offering people triangles will always warm my heart

the huddle will never not be funny to me but also it’s so nice to see how their bond has grown and how they legitimately want the best for their troupe

play time!

i love how Muku has grown! he’s so ready to adlib and make up for others’ slips and aaaaaaaaaah my boy saved the day

Chapter 33

FINALLY! THANK YOU!

all things considered, i’m very proud of all the boys 

i love the Muku-Tenma relationship i wanna explore it more

also ngl i don’t like the idea of inviting Tenma’s parents that much, they don’t deserve it

Chapter 34

hell yeah give them all the praise they deserve

why does everything Sumi says make me so happy

IGAWA BELOVED

oh no,,, mmmm still don’t like his parents being there

hell yeah you go Tenma

CLOSING NIGHT

heh i’m so glad Muku sees he still has the support of his old teammates

nooooooo someone please help Sumi find this i’m gonna tear up just thinking about it not being there

HARUGUMI’S HERE

i love Citron and Massu so much

the Sakuya-Tenma conversation is so important to me, actually

Chapter 35

heheh they’re all in first name basis now

FRIENDS! THEY’RE FRIENDS NOW!

i’m emo now

NATSUGUMI FAITOOO

i do appreciate the adlibs for closing night, it really drives the point about the ephemeral nature of theatre home

ARIGATO ALI BABA

this line will never leave my brain

CG! I LOVE MY BOYS SO MUCH

and then Tenma says thanks back and i sob

Chapter 36

i’m so glad that Muku got the reassurance and closure he’s been needing for so long

Yuki’s schoolmates… sure are something 

OMIMI MY BELOVED

oh Omi there’s gonna be so much more for you the next time 

MUKU’S PARENTS MY BELOVED

THEY’RE SO PROUD OF HIM AND SO AM I

JUZA MENTION JUZA IS MENTIONED! JUZA MY BELOVED

but also i’m screaming he’s still so ashamed of himself he didn’t even show up to talk to him bc he doesn’t wanna mess Muku’s rep and and and sobs

i’m still gonna fight Tenma’s parents

oh Izumi my beloved i’m so sorry

something something Izumi inviting Tenma’s parents because she can’t invite her own so she’d rather try to fix everyone’s parental relationships bc she can’t do that with hers

Chapter 37

heheh Sakyo recruitment time

she’s so peppy when talking to him now

Sakyo i’m sorry but your cover’s been blown for A While now

heheh i’m so happy Izumi is telling him everything she figured out 

he can’t even deny anything i love it

also he’s so proud of her idc if he doesn’t admit it

oh Izumi you’re in for a surprise

JUZA IS HERE HE’S HERE HE’S HERE AND HE’S SO PROUD OF HIS COUSIN AND I FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE FOR A SECOND (no seriously i was eating a wafer and almost choked)

AND BANRI IS HERE TOO HOLY SHIT THE FIGHT THAT CHANGED HIS LIFE IS COMING

i am vibrating from excitement at what’s coming 

Chapter 38

heheh everyone’s so in love with theatre now i love it

i would very much love any and all Citron cameos

RENI IS HERE NOW AND HE’S AS DRAMATIC AS EVER

also i’d forgotten this piece of foreshadowing we got for Taichi heheh

AAAAAND THAT'S IT FOR EPISODE 2

another week, another A3! re-read notes post

this time it's

Act 2 - A SUMMER of Overcomings! (pt1)

(warning: there's some Tenma salt, i'm sorry, it took him a while to grow on me and this re-read reminded me why)

Chapter 1

i am once again thinking about the A3! Timeline (someone stop me please)

Sakuya’s toast makes me so emotional

eheheheh Sakyo’s survey 

Tsuzuru: “who did you scout?” Izumi, knowing full well that Tsuzuru’s annoyed by Kazunari: “teehee it’s a surprise!”

ksdjbvhdfvf i would love to see Tetsuro on stage

also smh Tsuzuru there are characters who don’t talk in stage, not everyone has to have lines (for example: Kattrin in Brecht’s Mother Courage and Her Children)

Chapter 2

heheh Kazu and Yuki time

ah Kazu beloved… you can afford to be a lil less shallow with Mankai, i promise honestly i do think that his reason for joining is okay? like yeah you can join into / try new things just because, but Mankai wasn’t in a position to afford that back then

fdgfchgvjhbk Kazu come on I do love how he didn’t lose his energy with the info that Yuki’s a dude 

oh Yuki my dear Friendly McExtrovert won’t even be your biggest problem regarding troupemates in this arc

MUKU IS HERE

Tsuzuru vouching for Kazu despite everything

but also guys please don’t ignore my baby boy

baby boy

good, Muku, speak out for yourself!

It’s so weird to hear Muku and Yuki call each other by their last name now

Muku bby you haven’t auditioned yet, please don’t talk like that

Tenten!

Chapter 3

Tenma wtf’s up with that attitude you literally just went inside

Honestly i admire Izumi’s patience with him, i would’ve gone “look do you wanna be here or not?”

sdkhvbdfhv Yuki’s me

pot, meet kettle

istg if you don’t wanna be there you can just leave

Kazu you’re just calling him a nepobaby

i’m glad Yuki keeps calling him out, and even gladder when he did it after Muku felt like he had to apologise bc of his sigh

Muku bby no one said that

thank you, Yuki and Izumi

hm i’m puzzled about this line bc i did hear it change? I wonder what Izumi said in japanese

Chapter 4

kdbvhsdbvkd Yuki at least Izumi held an audition this time around

no one’s forcing you to be there! shut up!

mmmmm i don’t like this line

also idk if Tenma’s problem is not knowing how to read the room or just… knowing how to read it and not caring

ITARU AND CITRON FUDANSHI REAL?

haha hello fourth wall leaning Also Tsuzuru, you’re literally an RPF writer, you have no room to talk

the impulse to call Tenma a culicagado

thank you, Izumi

something something Sakuya’s acting having inspired THE Tenma Sumeragi

“halfway decent” those weren’t your words in Ep 1 Ch 35

why are you like this

Sakuya you’re too cute ;w;

Chapter 5

I do love how Kazu mentions Tsuzuru as a reason to stay at the dorms something something longing for a genuine connection something something Tsuzuru being important to him already

I’m glad Izumi double checked with the parents even when the kids tell her they have permission

i’d forgotten just how endearing Muku’s dad was 

it would’ve been interesting to see Kazu and Yuki as roommates

“Savage, but valid!” is actually one of my fave reactions to things

but also something something Kazu being a people pleaser something something letting people walk over him and be “savages” to him because he’d rather take it and say it’s “valid” than to upset someone or rock the boat in any way

Chapter 6

SUMI TIME

ROOM 202 MY BELOVEDS

Chapter 7

i can’t contain my smile i love Sumi so much

i love Muku so much too

Kazu being friendly despite not knowing if Sumi’s a ghost or not will always make me feel warm

also i wanna highlight the fact that these people are barging into his space and screaming their lungs out and Sumi’s reaction is to offer them triangles you can’t get more kind hearted than that

I have the softest smile on my face just watching Misumi’s sprite slide around the screen

when a rando breaks into your dorm do you a) call the cops b) ask him to join your theatre troupe

i’m glad Izumi made the choice she made but it’s still so funny to me

ngl tho i do wonder if her choice has anything to do with the fact that Sumi just admitted that he has nowhere else to go

kinda wanna write a piece on the dehumanisation of Misumi now

Kazu and Muku the sweetest boys ever

Citron and Misumi being friendly to one another makes me feel so warm inside

Chapter 8

honestly i think that, for his first time, Yuki did pretty okay

(Muku was too anxious but still i do appreciate the effort very much)

MISUMI ACTING! 

i will forever love the change between normal Misumi and acting Misumi

Misumi’s voice in his first etude w Tenma is so hot 

Chapter 9

i love how Kazu treats Sumi so much, even when he asks something that seems airheaded like the “what’s Summer Troupe” question, Kazu takes his time to explain everything to him ;w;

okay i’d forgotten how cute their relationship was, they got me smiling like a fool now

i love Yuki’s comments and comebacks at Tenma so much this one’s one of my faves

this is an interesting line and i’m so curious about what it says on japanese i know he’s talking about manga, but tbh when you say “comic book hero” i think like Superman (or maybe it’s the MAWS brainrot) and i kinda doubt that’s what Muku meant here?

Chapter 10

is it me or are there… “mkyk could be victims of homophobia” implications here?

NO MUKKUN THAT’S NOT WHAT YUKI MEANT (he’s thinking the other way around)

it IS very cute that they all arrived together 

honestly? yes, Muku, you should call an ambulance unless someone at Mankai has training to deal with it, you should call an ambulance (i am doing my best so i don’t go on a rant about what to do in emergencies based on my first responder training)

Sumi, no don’t feed an unconscious person, please don’t put anything in their mouths

Izumi i love you but that’s not how it works (says the person who faints and gets up a couple minutes later)

See, even if he’s just sleeping, the fall could’ve caused some damage to his body, so he does need to get checked

sorry Izumi but i’m with Matsukawa this time around, the generational gap IS something to be dramatic about

i LOVE how Kazu has got the solution for this, we love a nerd 

Chapter 11

maaaaan i’m so emo at Muku’s general perception of himself his teammates were nice to him and seemingly just wanted to see him more often? but Muku still thinks he disappointed them and says that him possibly being a track star is silly and *cries*

also i don’t wanna be a nag but i think Muku should’ve told Izumi about his injury when he first joined, the practice could’ve maybe made it worse and i would HATE to see that happening (trainer brain: on)

Muku’s such a team player and someone who cares so much about others i love him

yEAH THEY STILL CARE ABOUT MUKU ** and i’m so upset about Muku not seeing it

Muku my boy, those kids seem to genuinely care about you, i don’t think they’d laugh at you

yes, thank you Izumi

YES IZUMI! i love how she hypes him up in this way

sobs in Floral Prince

he’s such a cutie

Chapter 12

oh man i’d forgotten how stiff Yuki and Muku’s acting was at the start

i feel so bad for Muku his anxiety is so bad ;-;

hm i do know that Muku’s always been timid and anxious but now i’m wondering if maybe his anxiety got worse after he had to quit track

i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper i’m not gonna lose my temper HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE TO MUKU I CAN’T

everyone coming together to comfort Muku, thank you

THE START OF MISUMI GIVING TRIANGLES FOR COMFORT

Chapter 13

y’know i don’t get why “amateur” is a bad thing

i DO appreciate Tenma’s respect for Sakuya and trusting him with this 

have you never heard of synergy?

what kinda directors has he had ‘til now to think like this????

lol i love Izumi’s reaction to his proposal

he’s so proud of it too lmao 

Chapter 14

this kinda nitpicking i can stand i’m finally starting to relax lol

oughhhhh this line says so much about how Kazu performs in social environments too and aaaaaaaaaah Something something Kazu understands and sticks to his role of paripi but he stays on the surface and never tried to go deeper with / make something more significant out of any of the relationships he has

hey how much do y’all wanna bet that Kazu knows the right answer to this but acted like he didn’t?

Sumi giving Muku triangles makes everything right in my life

Muku is such a good boy he works so much and cares so much and and and ;w;

Chapter 15

oh i will need some mental strength to make it through this chapter

spoilt brat. 

oh An’s gonna have a field day with this line lmao 

fucking spoilt brat.

thanks, Yuki

i’m clenching my jaw so hard just to get through these scenes

ah this line

i know that it’s true, i know that Kazu knows it’s true but holy fuck this line always stings so bad

AND KAZU’S REACTIONS MAKE IT WORSE! HIM NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY AND TRYING TO BRUSH IT OFF STING SO BAD

my chest is actually in pain rn

Kazu having no way to defend himself against that comment because it’s true, and he knows it’s true, and any reaction he could have, be it going along with it or getting angry and defending himself, would prove that Tenma’s right and it would make Kazu’s mask slip completely 

Chapter 16

Izumi is so much better at being a caring adult than i am

she’s also way kinder to Tenma than i would be ngl

which i guess was needed because we’re finally at the point where he starts getting better, thanks to her kindness and understanding

something something people grow and thrive better in a caring and understanding environment

okay i’m finally calm with this whole situation

Chapter 17

seeing Tenma try is so nice, actually, i’m relieved

YEY MUKU FOR MAKING IT 

for once i do feel like Izumi, i can’t stop smiling either

Chapter 18

heheh fireworks (let’s ignore the fact that i don’t like fireworks because i do like this part very much)

sdkvhbhdfbv Kazu and Yuki being little shits is so fun

okay yeah Tenma’s very cute in this scene, him being both naive AND showing that he cares about the rest in his fear? good shit

Kazu is so right about Tenma missing out on school activities being a sad thing him being the one to point it out makes me wonder if he’s either speaking from experience (having focused so hard in his studies that he didn’t get to enjoy the social parts of middle school) or maybe just projecting? either way, i think this is a nice line to read with the knowledge we now have about Kazu, it kinda foreshadows the reveal that’s gonna come soon

oh i am SO fighting Kusumi for this one

LIKE LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE REASON WHY WOULD YOU NOT LET YOUR SON GO ON THOSE TRIPS? I DON’T SEE ANY REASON FOR THAT OTHER THAN PURPOSEFULLY BEING SHITTY IT’S NOT LIKE HE CARES ABOUT MISUMI BEING AROUND ANYWAY

Sumi sounds so happy when he brings up being nc with his family but then you look at how he feels about Madoka and… yeah ;-;

yes, thank you Kazu

i was gonna say Tenma was being tsun when he said they weren’t friends (yet) but he IS right, they’re not friends at this point, they just started being friendly

this scene (and CG) made me laugh a lil from joy

Chapter 19

oh Kazu… this… hm… (this is where i insert my “Kazu flirts to keep people at a distance” hc)

Yuki’s disdain for all things romance my beloved

for once we agree

i do appreciate that the messages all the boys send are vague enough to be interpreted as not flirty

except what Kazu wrote for Yuki, that one’s just annoying

Good intuition Izumi

hm do you guys think Kazu’s “making up for lost time” line applied to himself too? because him being the one to initiate the gossip session makes me feel like it does

Yuki’s disdain for all things romance my beloved (2)

ngl i always found the wording here a bit weird like he’s specifying about who he does like when he’s trying to clarify something about who he doesn’t like? my only guess is that it’s like this for the audience’s / fandom’s sake

everyone validating Yuki’s masculinity is so important to me, actually

wording here is also weird but it feels more in character 

Sumi you’re too cute, never change please

n e ways this feels too yume-bait for me so i’ll stop commenting

Chapter 20

heh Sumi recognising Yuzo is so cute to me do y’all think Yuzo ever babysat him? i think that’d be cute

it’s very interesting to me that Yuzo’s criticism of Muku is not that he was bad or wrong in any way? but that he was gonna get overshadowed

hell yeah Yuki deserves all the praise for his work

Kazu too! He’s so talented

i love the designer duo, even if Yuki said no to teaming up and being a designer duo

[mypoisonedvine]

peaches & cream || soft!dark Jake Wyler x reader

for @stargazingfangirl18​'s 5k challenge! I used the prompt, "the town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks."

word count: 3.6k

warnings: smut (noncon), stalking/obsession, some degradation/negging (but lots of praise during the actual smut), kinda yandere vibes?, touch of breeding kink at the end, definitely flirting with the boundary between soft!dark and regular dark but I like to think it’s a fine line

“Sorry, but that’s a seasonal flavor,” the girl at the counter explained in a snarky monotone.

“Well, yeah, but isn’t it still… the season?” you pressed; normally you weren’t the sort of person to argue with a cashier over a milkshake, but the look she was giving you made you feel like she was holding out on you— especially when the promotional poster for the very thing you were trying to order was just behind her head, and said the flavor was available for two more days.

“We’re out,” she answered firmly, but then her face suddenly shifted to a much more pleasant expression as you heard the chime of the front door opening behind you.  

You felt his body hovering behind yours just as his hand laid on the counter beside you, caging you in.  It was even more unsettling with the context that there was a whole line of people waiting behind you already.

“I’ll get your usual,” the girl promised to the man beside with a flirtatious smile as she disappeared to the back, returning almost instantly with a shake in her extended hand.  “Peaches and cream milkshake— extra whipped cream, no cherry.  Enjoy!”

Your eyes widened at the reading of your own order.  “I thought you were out!” you protested, going completely ignored.

"If you were my girl, this sort of thing wouldn't need to happen."

You recoiled from Jake's voice in your ear, and he smiled in spite of your snarl, bringing the straw to his lips slowly.  With a shudder you walked away, deciding it was probably better to forgo a milkshake anyways— especially if it was a chance to avoid everyone’s favorite senior, the football king who basically owned the whole town for no other reason than being good-looking, athletic, and allegedly “charming” or whatever.

Of course, he followed you, sitting across from you in a booth and silently shooing his posse of fellow teammates to go off and give you two some space.  If only he would give you space.

“We can share,” he offered as he held the milkshake out towards you.  “I know it’s your favorite… it’s mine too.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” you explained quickly as you pulled a book out of your backpack, intent on ignoring him since you couldn’t physically force him to leave.

He shrugged and returned to sucking on the straw, watching you unwaveringly as you tried to read your book— staring at the page was going well, but you couldn’t seem to actually get any words down.  Had you forgotten English as a written language or something?

“Could you leave?” you finally asked as you groaned and looked up from your book.  “You’re distracting me.”

“I’m literally just sitting here,” he reminded you.

“And it’s distracting!”

He smirked proudly.  “My presence tends to have that effect on people.  Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

You rolled your eyes, burying your face back in your book.  “You know, you may have everybody else fooled, but someday you’re gonna have to leave this pathetic little town and go into the real world where throwing a ball isn’t a career and nobody fawns over you just because you have the audacity to be attractive.”

He chuckled lightly.  “Right, because you have those big city dreams of yours, but believe it or not some of us like this ‘pathetic’ little town.”

“Well, of course you would,” you snorted.  “Your dad’s the mayor and your girlfriend’s the head cheerleader.”

“My ex-girlfriend,” he corrected, finally getting your attention enough to make you shut your book.

“What?” you blurted out.

“Yeah, she dumped me,” he explained plainly.

“Why would she do that?” you asked, making him look much too proud of himself again.  “Finally snapped out of the brainwashing, huh?” you added, effectively killing his smug expression.

“I guess you could say that.  She met some college guy from out of town… I think her parents liked me too much, she needed a bit more rebellion.”

“Well, my condolences to you,” you smiled, “and my congratulations to her.”

“I thought you hated her,” he scoffed.

“Well, now she and I have something in common: a complete lack of interest in you!”

“I mean, I wouldn’t go that far,” he smirked, “she still comes over every now and again to suck my cock.”

You choked on nothing, face getting warm at his crude language.  He didn’t talk like that with anyone else; it was so cruel the way he kept everybody in town under his spell except you, the way he let you in on his real darkness with no one else to confide in or believe you.  

It was so fundamentally lonely, being the one person who wasn’t in love with Jake Wyler.  It was even worse being the one person Jake Wyler loved.

At least, that was the word he used multiple times in his semi-anonymous letters, his incessant calls and emails, his speeches outside your window.  He’d actually cooled off lately, you wondered if maybe he had finally let go of this ‘the one thing I can’t have’ obsession and learned to appreciate his girlfriend (who, for all her personality flaws, was objectively gorgeous, and seemed to at least be nice to him if nobody else).

But now that she left him (which you were still trying to process, honestly), you were surprised he hadn’t already moved on to the next best wannabe model and/or reinstated his campaign to win you over.

Then again, the look in his eye kind of made you think you were about to witness the second one.

“You know, when she does come over, I can only ever finish because I’m thinking about you,” he revealed in a low voice.  You grimaced and slid out of the booth, stuffing your book into your bag and barely managing to throw him a goodbye before you dashed out.  

It wasn’t like you really thought you could get away from him— he had made it clear over and over that you couldn’t— but the idea of being crammed in that booth with him, surrounded throughout the diner by his adoring fans who somehow didn’t manage to overhear him when he said those awful things, made you feel nauseous.

What you should’ve considered was that, fans or not, those people were witnesses, and now that you were running out into the dark streets of the town and he was chasing after you, you didn’t have any.  It was just you and him, and when you turned into an alleyway to try to get home faster, even the dim glow of the streetlights couldn’t see you anymore.

“Hey,” he stopped you with a tight grip on your arm, pulling you back into him.

“Let me go!” you whined, trying to tug yourself away but only ensuring that his hand would leave a bruise on your arm.  

“I will when you just hear me out, okay?” he hissed, spinning you around to look up at him.  "Why don't you just give me a chance?  Don't you wanna be popular?" 

"I don't want to be anything that requires being within ten yards of you!" you spat.

He seemed bewildered, but you knew he wasn’t actually that stupid.  "Why?"

"Because you know why!"

He sighed, slumping his shoulders a little.  "Are we still on that, really?  I told you, you should take it as a compliment.  You know how many girls would kill to catch me jerking off in their panties?"

"You're sick, Jake,” you sighed, “and you're really good at hiding it from everyone else but I know what you really are.  You told me you needed help with algebra and I actually believed you, for months you were lying to me to get close so you could perv on me when you already had a girlfriend and two side chicks anyways— god, Jake, you're crazy!"

You yelped when he pinned you to the wall, blue eyes darker than ever.  "I really, really hate that word."

Against the wall, your back straightened as you felt the tone shift completely for a moment before he was back to his jovial self again, giving you a somber but almost-genuine smile.

“The only kind of crazy I am is crazy about you,” he defended with a laugh, leaning in a little closer.  “Why can’t you see that?”

As his eyes moved from your own to your lips, a renewed sense of fear shot through you.  “Jake…” you mumbled, apparently your feeble attempt to ask him to stop.

“Just one kiss,” he bargained, “and then I’ll let you go.  Okay?  That’s all I need.”

“N-no,” you whimpered, turning your head away as he leaned in even further.  “Stop.”

“Come on, it’s just a kiss, baby,” he cooed.  “Then you can leave.  Hey, you might actually like it.  You know, I think that’s what you’re really scared about… and I get it!  When I first realized I was in love with you, it was scary for me, too— I mean, I’m the most important guy in town and you’re just some bookworm, it’s sort of social suicide for me so I had a lot to worry about.”

There he went with his negging again, trying to bring you down to his level.  Your brain knew that, it saw right through it, but your gut still sank with doubt.

“But I know now that love is nothing to be afraid of,” he concluded.

“No, Jake,” you whispered, feeling tears well in your eyes, “I’m afraid that you’ll hurt me if I don’t do what you want.”

“Well, that is something to be afraid of,” he replied with the coldest laugh you’d ever heard; you didn’t hear any agreement, but the lack of denial was deafening.  “So just be my good girl and let me kiss you…”

You swallowed dryly, your eyes wide open and searching for anywhere to look but up at him.

He was so close now that his lips brushed against yours with his command: “say it.”

You stammered over your breath, not sure exactly what he was asking for, and you winced as you felt his grip tighten on your arms.

“Say, ‘kiss me’,” he clarified in a harsh whisper.  “Say, ‘please’...”

“Please,” you repeated awkwardly, hearing it in your voice but so clearly not your own words, “kiss me.”

He let his mouth intertwine with yours and your eyes were still wide open as he let his own fall shut, moving his hands to clutch your face gently instead as you gave a weak effort to kiss him back.

Objectively, he was good at this.  A lot of things were objectively true about Jake: as much as you forced yourself not to see it, he was handsome; as much as it didn’t really matter to you, a boycotter of all things sports, he was talented; and, as much as no one else realized it, he was completely deranged.  For every word of kindness from him there was another of anger.  For every love letter in your locker, there was a threat left scrawled on crumpled paper inside your bedroom, just so he could remind you that your parents would let him into the house if he asked and never question it.

Which was why it was extremely important that you did not enjoy this kiss.  You needed to hate the way his fingers traced over the pulse in your neck, the way his tongue tickled yours, the way his teeth just barely grazed your lip until your knees went a little weak.  

But wow, there was something primally satisfying about melting into his arms, feeling his strength support you like it was nothing when he held your waist and pulled you closer.

You could almost forget that it was him.  But then he mumbled your name into the kiss, nearly moaned it in fact, and it pulled you back to reality.  With a gasp, you pushed him away and blinked your eyes open, not even realizing you’d closed them; hating how quickly you’d started to give in to him.

“There, one kiss,” you mumbled, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve.  “I’m gonna go home now—”

“You can’t be serious,” he laughed incredulously.  “You’re gonna kiss me like that and tell me you don’t feel this, too?  We’re so meant for each other— we even order the same milkshake!”

“That doesn’t matter!” you denied.

“I love you!”

“That doesn’t matter either!”

You turned to leave but he grabbed you again from behind, covering your mouth with his hand when you opened your mouth to scream.  “Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” he hissed in your ear, “and don’t walk away from me.”

Fighting against his grip did nothing but exhaust you: he only needed one arm to hold you back as he dragged you deeper into the alley.  Your legs swung wildly and landed a kick to his shin, and he plugged your nose while he was covering your mouth so you couldn’t breathe.

“Listen to me, you stuck up little bitch,” he growled.  “I’m really sick of this ‘hard to get’ act.  I know you want me.  So shut up and let me show you what you’ve been missing out on, okay?  You gonna be good?”

In that moment, you would’ve agreed to anything for a chance to fill your lungs with fresh air, and so you nodded, the back of your head rubbing against his chest.

“You gonna be nice and quiet so nobody catches you getting fucked like a whore in this alley?”

Another nod, more feverish than the last, ended with a sharp inhale as he let go of your nose.  But he was still covering your mouth, his arm around you now feeling less like restraint and more like an embrace.

"I've wanted you for so long, you can't even imagine," he explained softly as he leaned down and kissed your neck, gripping your waist tighter.  "You and this perfect body of yours.  This smart little head that thinks too much…"

You swallowed dryly as his hand trailed lower.

"This pussy you've been hiding from me for much too long," he added darkly, roughly shoving his hand up your skirt.

You whined behind his hand but he didn’t seem to care; he pulled your skirt up and grinned at the sight of your panties— because he recognized them.

“I remember these,” he purred.  “They look good on you, baby, but they looked better covered in my come.”

Your cheeks burned with shame— you already hated yourself for still wearing the pair he’d tampered with, but it was harmless after a few runs through the washer, right?  You weren’t going to stop wearing your favorite panties just for him, that would mean he won, in a sense; or, that’s what you told yourself to justify not burning them.

“Don’t worry, they’re gonna be soaked by the time I’m done with you,” he purred, slipping two fingers between your legs and growling slightly.  “Well, actually, you’ve already done a lot of the work for me.”

He pulled the fabric aside and explored your pussy instead, tightening his grip over your mouth as you made little muffled yelps.  The rough pads of his fingers found and targeted your clit instantly, that megawatt smile pressed against your ear as he started to rub your bud harder.

“Mm, feels good, huh?” he taunted, moving even faster as your hips jolted unintentionally.  He stopped only to bring the fingers to his lips, humming at the taste of you which he sucked off of them.  “So sweet, babygirl— better than any peaches and cream milkshake, that’s for sure.”

The wet fingers trailed down your body again, finding your entrance that he suddenly pushed into; it was a little too much without any warning and it made your eyes shoot wide open, a squeak barely escaping your throat.

"Just as tight as I imagined, baby,” he sighed, “all those times I used your panties, or hooked up with somebody who almost looked like you from behind.  You’re gonna feel so good on my cock, I know you want it so bad.”

He took his fingers out of you to reach back and open his belt with one hand, the sound of the buckle matched in upsettingness only by the sound of his jeans sliding down to his thighs.

You heard your own breath loud and heavy against his hand as you felt his hard cock press against your thigh, a drop of precum smearing on your skin.  Your breathing halted suddenly, though, when he slid himself between your legs to rub his cock over your exposed and swollen pussy.

“Oh, babygirl, you really are too good to me,” he grinned, kissing your ear tenderly.  “So fucking wet and ready for me, huh?  You need it that bad?  You’re gonna get it, baby, ‘m gonna give it to you so good…”

Bracing yourself as best you could, you felt the head of his cock push against your entrance before he slammed in all at once, making you hiss in pain.

“Oh god,” he groaned, “fuck, you’re so warm…”

Already he was fucking into you roughly, pumping faster and deeper, paying no mind to your choked sobs of pain from the wide stretch.  Even when it stung it felt oddly good, and the underside of his cock seemed to slide perfectly over your g-spot with each movement until your eyes began to roll back in your head.

“So fucking good,” he moaned hoarsely as he braced you against the brick wall for leverage, reaching back down with his free hand to rub your clit again.  He chuckled when your legs quivered, and he must have felt your walls tighten around him, too.  “I wanna hear those pretty moans, baby, if I take my hand away are you gonna be good?” he asked darkly.  You nodded, enjoying the brief feeling of freedom that came from not having his hand over your mouth anymore.  But then again, it was humiliating that now he could hear your panting breaths, your desperate mewls that you failed to swallow down.

He made a sound that was almost like a laugh as he watched you squirm in his arms, one more way he had to lord this all over you, as if forcing you to take him in an alley wasn’t enough on its own.

His breath against your ear was hot and strained, each meeting of your hips to his accentuated with a little grunt from him.  It didn’t help at all that his fingers were rubbing you just right, with so much skill that you wondered if he’d somehow figured out how you touched yourself when you needed to get off.  Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him to have spied on you before, even if you couldn’t figure out when or how.

The hand that used to cover your mouth slid up under your shirt and pulled your bra down, a large, rough hand groping each breast and pinching your nipples until you bit down on your lip to stay quiet.  For all the mocking and teasing he’d done before, he was pretty direct now— like he was trying to make you come as fast as possible, overloading your body with sensation.  

And did he have to be so fucking good at it?

“I know you’re close, babygirl,” he whispered in your ear, “just let go…”

“Jake, please,” you sobbed, too far gone to appreciate that no begging would make him stop now.

“Come for me,” he demanded roughly, fucking you even faster as he sucked a mark onto your neck, and finally it all came crashing down with a choked-out cry of his name and a gush of warmth dripping out around his length.

“Ohh fuck, there you go, fuck it feels good when you come for me,” he grunted, thrusting even faster.  “You’re gonna milk my cock with that pretty pussy, babygirl— you’re gonna make me come…”

“J-Jake, not inside!” you interjected, getting his hand back over your mouth in return.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, “waited too long for this to pull out now.  Feels too fucking good.”

Behind his hand, the difference between whines of hatred and moans of pleasure was irritatingly subtle.

“I love you,” he reminded you in a voice exhausted yet heavy with desire, “so fucking much…”

A few more erratic, brutal thrusts accompanied by heavy pants and he was gone; you could feel his cock pulsing with each rope of come that filled you, so deep that your head fell dejectedly with the realization you had no hope of washing it out now.

His hand fell from your mouth but he didn’t pull out for another few moments as he caught his breath, gently peppering your neck and cheek in slow kisses.  “Baby,” he finally sighed, breaking the crushing silence, “you’re so fucking perfect.  I knew you were made for me.”

I hate you, you wanted to cry out, but words escaped you as he hugged you tightly and pulled your panties back into place, soaking them with his come as it leaked out of you just like he’d promised.  He stuffed his cock back into his jeans and helped you adjust your clothes back to looking almost presentable, finishing it off by turning you around and smiling at you with serene pride before kissing your forehead.

"You're gonna make such a beautiful prom queen," he cooed, “especially if you’ve already got a nice little bump showing…”

His hand rubbed beneath your belly button for emphasis, making you whimper and force your eyes shut as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"Shh, don’t cry, baby,” he soothed, kissing your cheek softly.  “Trust me, you're gonna love being my girl."

[jessikahathaway]

Baby Talk - Part I

Hellooooo!

I've had this in my WIPs for a while and I wanted to get some of it out so that you all could enjoy it! Let me know what you think and if you want more??? Tag lists are open for all of my ongoing fics so if you want to be added just let me know!

Please enjoy!

Pairing: Jikook X Reader (Jimin X Reader X Jungkook)

Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Polyamorous!AU, Romance. (Future Smut)

Warnings: Medical Procedures, Assault (not descriptive), Profanity. If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 11.3k (Phew chill Jess~)

This wasn’t a big deal, you thought to yourself as you signed the paperwork in the clinic.

Just, you know, getting artificially inseminated for money. Nothing weird about that right?

Becoming a surrogate wasn’t something you’d planned on in your life, mainly sticking to your job and working towards a better tomorrow or whatever they say.

You were young, healthy and full of life.

The only thing you lacked, was a full bank account.

The realization hit a little harder than you thought it would. Being a receptionist wasn’t exactly what you’d had planned for your life but, it was simple work and it made you happy.

Going to college wasn’t really ever an option for you anyways. Your parents had died in an accident when you were little, forcing you to go live with your Great Aunt until you turned eighteen. She hadn’t forced you out, but you did leave. Wanting the adventures that life had to offer.

However, you quickly realized that it wasn’t easy pickings out in the world. That’s when the notice came to the door of your apartment that you either paid your late rent in full by the date or you could get your ass out.

Fear trickled down your spine at the thought of being homeless. You briefly thought of going back to your Aunts but, she lived out in the country and the city is where you’d made your home. As much as you cared about her, it just wasn’t going to happen.

That’s when your friend Namjoon and his husband Jim invited you over for dinner.

You were beyond excited, because these two had just had their baby girl Annie.

They had used the local fertility clinic to get a surrogate and had their baby just a month prior. You had been dying to meet the little bundle ever since you heard the news they were having a baby.

God, that kid was going to be spoiled rotten.

Quickly, you had gone over and enjoyed a nice meal with the three of them. Annie still partaking in formula.

You had tried to make conversation, but your eyes kept wandering to Annie and her little hands and feet. You felt a slight clench in your chest at the sight of her round face and sweet eyes.

“Earth to Y/N? You doing alright?” Namjoon’s voice echoed through their lovely, luxe apartment.

“Y-Yeah! Fine, I’m fine,” you smiled.

“You sure?” Jin asked, getting up to take his and Namjoon’s plates to the kitchen.

“Mhmm,” you said, eyes glancing back over at the baby.

“You’re so whipped, Annie has claimed yet another victim,” Namjoon snickered, looking at the blissful gaze your eyes had taken.

“You ever want kids, Y/N?” Jin asked, coming back in with dessert for each of you.

“I guess so, I mean. Just gotta find someone to make the baby with,” you joked half heartedly.

It was no secret among your friends that you were the black sheep. Not dating, not even entertaining the notion of having a significant other. The idea was, honestly, draining.

“Don’t feel like you have to be married to have a kid, Y/N. Single parenthood is just as valid as a couple,” Jin reminded.

“I’m nowhere near financially stable enough to pop out a kid right now,” you sighed.

“No? I thought the job at the hotel was treating you well,” Namjoon said.

“Yes and no, they treat me well. But pay me next to shit... I-I gotta make some quick cash, or I’m gonna be homeless,” you whispered.

“What?!?” The two men shouted, looking at you with heartbreak in their eyes.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us you were struggling! We could’ve done something!” Jin says, rubbing his face with frustration.

“No-No! It’s fine, I’ll figure it out! I always do,” you encouraged, trying to keep the fear out of your eyes.

“How far behind on rent are you?” Namjoon asked.

“A little under six grand,” you sighed.

“Y/N!” Your two friends looked distraught.

“I don’t understand how a society can function like this, I hate it,” Namjoon said, looking down at his dessert he no longer wanted.

Annie started fussing, kicking her feet and wanting attention.

Jin sighed and got up, taking his beautiful daughter with him. You and Namjoon sat in cold silence for a while. Neither of you willing to talk to the other.

You were too proud for your own good. Even if it meant crashing and burning, you’d do that before you took anyone’s pity.

“How can we help?” Namjoon asked, looking at you with so much worry.

“I really don’t know Joon, there’s no where that’ll give me that kinda money with my credit and... even if they did I couldn’t pay it back anyways,” you sighed.

“Have you thought about going to school for something? Maybe you can get a degree and, I don’t know I’m pulling at straws here,” he said.

“I can’t go to school Joon, with what money? And even worse, I wouldn’t know what to go into,” you said, swallowing down some more wine.

“I wish we could’ve had you surrogate for us. We paid that woman a small fortune. Had I known you were struggling I would, maybe you could’ve done it instead,” he said quietly.

“How much did you pay her?” You asked.

“Around $80,000,” he said, shrugging.

You choked.

“Damn you filthy rich kids,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“That’s it!” Namjoon said.

“Huh?” You asked, looking at him in confusion and despair.

“You can’t be our surrogate, but you could be someone else’s!”

Your body ran cold at the thought.

“I-I don’t know if I could do that Joon,” you said.

“Doesn’t your family have a high chance of twins?” He said, looking at you with a smile.

“I mean, yes but-”

“Say no more. I know a couple that’s been dreaming of a baby. They actually were supposed to meet the woman who wound up being our surrogate. But she decided to go with us. Jimin and Jungkook, they’re really good people Y/N,” Namjoon said, smiling.

“Namjoon, I don’t know if I can have a stranger’s baby!”

“I mean I won’t force you to sign up or anything. But Jungkook and Jimin are really good guys who have been waiting forever to have a baby. They said they wanted twins but, most importantly they wanted a healthy child. How sweet is that!”

You worried your lower lip with your teeth. This was just ridiculous. There’s no way you’d be able to do it. No way.

“Let me show you a picture of them!” Namjoon said, pulling out his phone.

“Joon really-”

Although, before you could argue anymore, you saw their faces.

A smaller, blond man. Whose smile was brighter than any star. And a taller, lean brunette who looked at the camera with a goofy grin.

“Jimin is the blond, Jungkook is the brunette,” Namjoon explained.

“Okay?” You said, trying to calm your racing heart.

They were both handsome. Deathly so, it made your stomach clench in a weird way to look at them. You wondered what kind of babies they would make. If they had that smile Jimin was packing, no one would be safe. That child would get whatever it wanted.

“I’m just saying, it doesn't have to be them but they’ve wanted a baby for so long and... you could help them with that and get a lump sum of cash on the side. Bad a bing bad a boom! No worries!”

It wasn’t such a hard decision in the end.

You needed the money.

So walking into the clinic had this weird sense of finality to it.

The receptionist looked at you with a smile.

“Hello dear, how can I help you?” She said.

“I-uh, wanted to sign up to be a potential surrogate?” You said, wringing your hands together.

“Of course! Did you bring your medical records and things of the like?”

You nodded quickly, handing over the required paperwork. She clicked away on her keyboard and got you all signed up and ready to go. Soon, you were getting your preliminary check up to see if you were able to have children.

Although your period had some irregularities in the past, the doctor’s said it was probably due to stress and the balancing out of hormones. But it would all work out, you were healthy and fertile!

You managed to tell Namjoon that you signed up without him having a full blown heart attack.

“How long until you need to be out of the apartment?” He asked, sipping his coffee.

“I need to be out in three weeks,” you said softly.

“Well shit you’re kinda on a time crunch there sweets, but don’t worry, you can do it! I’ll let Jimin and Jungkook know that you signed up, they’ll want to meet you. I know it,” he said.

“Namjoon, it’s okay. I don’t care who I surrogate for, as long as it’s soon,” you said, trying to keep your heart rate under control.

“Okay, but Y/N, I’m telling you. They’d be the perfect fit for you!” He said.

You said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. The days to come would be challenging no doubt.

—

You were rather popular at the fertility clinic it seemed, because you’d had three meetings already.

One was a couple that had been trying for years and it just wasn’t happening so they were resorting to a different method. Although for this one they wanted to do an egg implantation. You weren’t sure you wanted to do that.

Another was an older couple who looked like they were just planning on having kids but their own clocks ran out.

But finally, you got one more call from the clinic.

“Miss Y/N, you’ve got another request for a meeting,” the receptionist on the other line said.

“Oh? With whom?” You asked.

“A Mr. Park Jimin and a Mr. Jeon Jungkook, they asked for you personally,” she said, tone light.

You almost spit out your drink.

Th-They had asked for you?

The fertility clinic was big, a huge database of surrogates and people willing to conceive for the right price.

But they had asked to meet you.

Personally.

“Miss Y/N? Still there?” The receptionist asked, sounding far away from you.

“Yes! Yes I’m here,” you said, coughing.

“Wonderful, they said if you were willing they’d like to treat you to a meal, of course I can’t give out your contact information without consent from you but if you’re willing to meet with them we can arrange this.”

You heard yourself agree before even thinking about it.

Soon, you were on your way to the higher end of town. Heading towards a good Korean Barbeque place that was notorious for having the best meat in town.

Walking in you looked around, noticing how luxurious the place was. It made you feel a little out of place to be honest. But, not letting that get to you the host came up and asked for your name.

“Miss Y/N, ah yes. You’re with the Jeon party, lovely. Come right this way,” he said, taking you back into the bowels of the beast it seemed.

Winding through tables and chairs you found yourself in front of a private room. You didn’t want to think about how much this cost, so you simply just let your mind wander to other fun topics.

Such as the fact that you were potentially meeting your surrogate partners.

“Mr. Jeon? Mr. Park? A Miss Y/N is here for you,” the host said, through the door.

“Let her in,” a higher pitched male voice said.

You bit your lip and waited as the door opened. You looked inside and saw a beautiful wooden table, laid out with the finest meats and other various types of noodles and food. Then, there was the other feast, one for your eyes.

Park Jimin was a smaller man, but so incredibly handsome it made your head swirl. His soft blond hair tucked under a beanie as he looked up at you with what could only be called wonder. He looked at you gently, a small smile making its way to his lips.

Jeon Jungkook was a different story. Lean but cut, tiny waist accentuated by his pants. His arms were strong looking and one was covered in tattoos. His hair was pulled away from his face in a precious man bun that made your heart stutter. His eyes were big and glassy, looking at you. As if breathing you in.

“Hi,” you said quietly. “I’m Y/N.”

“We know,” Jimin said with a gentle smile.

“Come, sit down,” Jungkook said, moving a chair out for you to sit.

“Okay,” you agreed, moving to sit down.

“Get whatever you want,” Jimin encouraged, handing you the menu politely.

“Thank you,” you blushed, trying to not faint with his eyes on you like that.

Ordering a few things for yourself the three of you sat there with awkward silence filling the space. Jungkook wouldn’t really look at you and Jimin seemed like he was too nervous to start.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “How long have you two been together?” You asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“Five years,” Jungkook said, placing his hand over his glass.

“Oh wow, congratulations,” you said, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

“Thank you,” Jimin breathed.

“Our friend Namjoon said you were kind of in a tight spot and needed some help financially, is this true?” Jungkook asked, finally glancing your way.

“Y-Yeah, I wish he wouldn’t just tell other people that but, no sense in denying the truth. I’m almost six grand behind on rent,” you sighed, rubbing your face.

Both of their faces fell, looking at each other in worry.

“It-It’s okay though! I’ll be okay, I always am,” you said, trying to keep your tone light.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/N, I would be scared shitless if I were you,” Jungkook said, taking slow drinks from his glass.

“Yeah,” you sighed, trying to avoid the stinging in your eyes.

“What do you do for work?” Jimin asked, trying to keep the conversation from turning to dark.

“I’m a receptionist at the local hotel. It’s not much, but I really like it,” you said, a grin taking place on your face.

“Hey, if you like it then that means something,” Jimin encouraged.

“So, you two want to have a baby?” You said, trying to get down to the topic at hand.

“Yes, more than anything,” Jimin said, a wistful look crossing his face.

“That’s amazing, to love each other that much and want to build a family is... Super important,” you said, meaning every word.

“What does your family do, Y/N? Do they live here in the city?”

You awkwardly rubbed your hands together.

“Um, my Great Aunt lives out in the country. But, my parents and most of my other relatives have passed on,” you said, trying to hide the emotion that came up.

“Oh, so sorry for your loss,” Jungkook said, face pinching.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago,” you whispered.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Jimin argued.

“You’re right, but, it’s okay,” you said.

“So, you have a high chance for twins,” Jungkook said, looking at some papers you didn’t notice were on the table.

“Yes, my mother was a twin. It runs way back in my family,” you said.

“Jimin has a good chance of having twins as well,” Jungkook said, gesturing to his loving partner.

“I do I do,” he said with a grin.

“Do you two want a set of twins?” You asked.

“It’s preferred but not necessary. As long as we get a baby, that’s all that matters,” Jungkook said.

Soon, the food was delivered and Jungkook and Jimin insisted on cooking the food for you. Something about not stressing you out too much.

After a full meal, you leaned back and let your head fall comfortably. Jimin and Jungkook exchanged a glance at each other.

‘She’s the one,’ Jimin mouthed.

Jungkook smiled and nodded back.

“Thank you for the meal, I really do appreciate it. I haven’t eaten like that in months,” you said.

“Well, if you want to have our baby, we would gladly provide you with all the food you could want,” Jimin said.

“T-That’s alright, it wouldn’t be necessary-”

“Yes it would, Y/N. If you carry our child that means we’re responsible for you, everything you need or want will be yours. We swear,” Jungkook said.

“Right,” you swallowed thickly.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Jimin asked.

“I-I’ve never really been one for dependence on other people. You know? I like to do things myself if I can,” you said.

“Well, we wouldn’t force you to do anything of course but, if you did want or need anything, we would be more than happy to provide you with it,” Jungkook said.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” you said.

“You’d be carrying our child,” Jimin said as if it were obvious.

“Of course,” you said softly.

“Hey, if you don’t want to do this then don’t feel pressured. Don’t let money be an object in what you want to do with your life. It’s not healthy,” Jimin said.

“Thank you,” you said again.

“Well, I think it’s time to get going. I know you’ve met with other couples that have no doubt tried to convince you they’re the best option but... I really hope you chose us Y/N. You’d be the perfect surrogate for us,” Jungkook said, looking at you with a softened gaze.

And you knew it too.

You knew they were the couple you wanted to surrogate for, even if it cost you everything. You knew they deserved it. Not that any of the other families you had spoken to didn’t, but, they were the ones for you.

Your fertile window and ovulation were coming up so you had to make a choice and soon.

You’d met with the doctors at the clinic and they said that they were just waiting on you. Whomever you picked would have a meeting with you before the insemination on the rules and what you would have to do in regards to taking care of yourself. And then the money would be yours in full.

Calling the clinic you told them your answer.

“I would like to surrogate for Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park,” you said.

“Alrighty, I will give them a call and set up the appointment for them to get their end of the deal all set up and then we can get you all ready to go!” The receptionist said.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you said before hanging up.

Namjoon and Jin invited you over wanting to hear the news of everything going on with you.

And you couldn’t wait to see Annie again.

“Aw, you’re getting so big!” You said as you were greeted by Annie’s face in Jin’s arms.

“Yes she is!” Jin agreed. The cooing baby leaned forward, moving to capture your hair in her little fist.

You laughed and took her from Jin easily, he didn’t fight you and let you have your time with her. Rocking and bouncing her on your hip while the pair of them talked in the dining room.

Soon, a knocking came to the door.

Confusion swept over you, but regardless, you went to answer the door anyways.

Annie still on your hip, you opened the door to reveal Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, your new surrogate partners.

Frozen in shock the two of them looked at you as if they were equally confused.

You wondered if the clinic had told them you picked them yet. You had just gotten off the phone with them today, so you weren’t. Jungkook’s face went to you to Annie and then back to you.

“H-Hi?” You whispered.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jimin asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Came to have dinner with Jinnie and Joon, and Annie of course,” you smiled, raising the little one up on your hip more.

“Oh, did you know we were coming?” Jungkook asked.

“No, I had no idea,” you said.

“Ah! Are those the boys?” Jin’s voice echoed throughout the hall.

“Yes!” You yelled back.

“Let them in Y/N! We invited them over too!” Namjoon said.

“Please come in,” you said, moving out of their way as the couple greeted Jin and Namjoon fondly.

It appeared as though there were no hard feelings in regards to them getting a surrogate they wanted. But, you could see Jungkook’s longing on his face when he looked at Annie in your arms.

“She’s beautiful,” Jimin said, looking down at Annie as you rocked her to sleep.

“Mhmm, gorgeous. She’ll be stealing hearts just like her dads,” you said.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin said, keeping his eyes trained on the little one in your arms.

“Did you make your decision yet? It said on your profile that your ovulation window was coming up and I was just curious,” he said quietly.

“I did,” you said.

Jimin’s face fell.

“I see,” he swallowed.

“Jimin-”

“Alright you two, paws off the baby, my turn!” Namjoon said, walking in.

You handed the sleeping baby over without a fuss before you and Jimin both walked out into the living room. Jimin whispered something to Jungkook and his face dropped. But you couldn’t find the words in your mouth. You wanted to tell them you picked them. You moved to talk to them when you felt Jin’s presence behind you.

“Y/N? You alright?” Jin asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

It was getting later, and you were feeling sleepy from all the food you’d eaten during the night.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at your sleepy form and their hearts broke all over again.

“I can’t believe she didn’t pick us,” Jungkook said, face betraying how he felt.

“Babe, you can’t force her. I-I thought we had a good chance but,” Jimin sighed.

“I don’t want to keep looking for a surrogate if this is going to happen every time,” Jungkook said, pain coming through in his voice.

“Jungkook you know how badly I want this too right? It’s not just you hurting here,” Jimin said.

“We’ve been trying for two years to find a surrogate and when we find one we want, they always pick someone else. Why? Are we that undesirable? I don’t understand,” Jungkook sighed.

“It’s not that,” Jimin whispered. “Maybe it’s just not our turn yet.���

“When is it gonna be our turn, huh?” Jungkook said. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“We can’t give up,” Jimin said softly. “I don’t want to give up yet.”

“I know baby,” Jungkook said, kissing Jimin’s cheek softly.

You felt your heart pounding in your chest. These poor men were really hurting for a baby. A family to call their own.

Sitting up Jimin and Jungkook looked at you in fear.

“Y/N? Y-You were awake-oh God I’m so sorry you had to hear that-” Jimin said frantically.

“I picked you two,” you said.

Their eyes shot up to meet yours.

Jungkook’s were glossy from unshed tears and Jimin’s were widening by the second.

“You what?”

“I said I picked you two. I want to surrogate for you two,” you explained.

“But-in the nursery you said-” Jimin started.

“I said I had picked someone, I didn’t say who silly,” you smiled.

“Oh thank you Y/N!” Jungkook said, coming over to hold your hand in his.

“You don’t know what this means to us,” Jimin said.

“I know you two want this baby more than anything, I want to give it to you. Honestly, you two have waited long enough,” you said, heart stammering at the look of hope in their eyes.

“You’re perfect Y/N! Seriously!” Jimin cried, holding onto Jungkook for dear life.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet. I’m supposed to go in for the, you know, business end of it on Monday. They said they’d call you tomorrow. I just gave my answer today,” you told them.

“Okay, alright sounds good,” Jungkook said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“You gonna be okay?” You asked, looking at the two of them.

“Of course, more than okay.”

—

Monday creeped up on you quickly, faster than you thought.

You went to the clinic and sat down, getting signed in and everything before you saw Jungkook and Jimin waltz in looking like a million bucks.

Dressed head to toe in designer clothing, you realized you didn’t know what they did for a living. You hadn’t really looked at their profiles all that much. But you knew their baby would have everything they could ever want and more.

Smiling at them and waving, the two of them made their way over to you.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Jimin asked, sitting down in the chair next to you.

“Just waiting,” you said, looking at the pair of them together.

They looked like the traditional power couple. Strong, dependable and handsome to boot. It was kind of overwhelming.

Jungkook was wringing his hands together, biting his lip as he looked around the room.

“You alright Jungkook?”

“Yeah just-”

“Mr. Jeon, Mr. Park and Miss Y/N? The legal assistant will see you now,” a voice from the corner called.

“Let’s go,” you said, standing up and heading towards the back room.

You sat down and the rules of the road were laid out.

If you signed the contract Jimin and Jungkook were the parents of the child. You had no rights unless they said otherwise. You would be given a lump sum of money, transferred into your bank account the day they know you’re pregnant and expecting. If anything happens to the baby such as a miscarriage or something of the like that you had no control over, you would be able to keep the money. But, they would like to try again to see if the next one stuck better.

“So, if you conceive twins, which your likelihood is good, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park have agreed to pay you double,” you almost choked on your drink.

Double?

“What?” You squeaked out.

“It’s written right here,” the legal assistant said, pointing to the document in her hands.

“Okay,” you said softly, not wanting to make either of them uncomfortable.

“The total of your payment will come to $153,000 dollars,” the legal assistant said. “If you conceive twins.”

Your head swirled.

What would you do with all that money? Jimin and Jungkook looked at you with worry.

“I-Is it not enough? We can give you more if you want-”

“No! No no, that is totally acceptable. More than,” you said.

“Okay, just making sure,” Jimin answered.

“If you would please initial here, Miss Y/N. And then a signature here at the bottom and then you two will also need to sign as well,” she said.

After all the paperwork was done your date for insemination was set.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at you as you walked out of the clinic.

“Hey! Y/N! Hold on,” Jungkook said, walking forward.

“Huh? What is it?” You asked turning around.

Jungkook’s bright eyes blinded you as he gazed into your own. But you kept your breathing steady as you could.

“Do you want a ride home? Jimin and I cleared our schedules so we could be here today, and... Well we don’t want you to get hurt or anything,” he said, pointing to the black suburban.

“Oh, it’s alright I was gonna go to the bookstore and get a few things and then head home but I’ll be fine, no worries,” you smiled.

“We insist, Y/N,” Jimin said, walking forward to take his partner’s hand.

“Um, well... It’s really not that far, I’m sure it’ll be okay,” you said.

“Well, if you’re really sure,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah, but I’ll see you two on Thursday right? That’s when I’m supposed to... Well, you know,” your said, looking down at your feet.

“Of course! If you want us to be there that is,” Jimin said.

“Yes, it’s your baby,” you said.

“Okay, we’ll see you Thursday then,” Jungkook agreed, waving at you before he and Jimin got into the suburban and left.

But you couldn’t help the feeling you had as you watched them drive away.

Sadness.

—

You walked into the clinic Thursday morning, sweat pooling in your palms. You were reaching the end of your wire at your apartment. And you weren’t going to get the money in time. You were worried and didn’t want to bother Namjoon and Jin... So you just kept it to yourself.

You felt the fear and worry eating you up inside as you sat in the waiting room.

The doctor called your name and you headed back towards the room, when someone shouted your name.

Jimin and Jungkook were there, smiling brightly at you.

Your heart eased at seeing the two men, so happy and radiant. Everything you weren’t currently. But, knowing you were giving them something so important really made you feel better. Even if it was just for the time being.

“Oh my gosh, we’re finally getting a baby!” Jimin squeaked.

“Easy, it’s probably not going to happen first try,” you reminded him of what the doctor said.

“Bet I could get you pregnant in one shot,” Jungkook smirked.

“Oh shush Kook. But if you got her pregnant you wouldn’t get those twins you want so badly now would you, butthead,” Jimin said, shoving the younger man around slightly.

You tried to keep yourself from blushing but the redness that twinged your cheeks was there regardless. You were here to get pregnant, that was the end goal of today.

“Alright, Miss Y/N, we’re going to take you back and get you all set and then Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon have said they wanted to take you home after. Is that alright with you?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you said.

“Okay, let’s head back then,” Jungkook gave you a gentle smile before Jimin came forward and gave your knuckles a quick kiss.

“Good luck, Y/N,” he said.

“Thanks,” you answered before heading back.

The whole process took around a hour and a half, most of it waiting.

The sensation wasn’t too bad, but you were a little uncomfortable. Everything was super sterile and not how you expected you’d get pregnant, but... It wasn’t your baby at the end of the day. You tried not to wiggle as you laid there, letting Jimin’s seed try to impregnate you.

Finally, the timer went off and you were allowed to leave to go home.

Jimin and Jungkook were sat in the waiting room, chatting with each other excitedly. You knew that this was it, that they were more than perfect for this baby. You were beyond happy you could give it to them.

“Y/N!” Jimin said, walking up to greet you.

“Hey,” you said easily, noticing Jungkook come up behind him.

“We’re here to take you home!” Jimin smiled.

“Thanks guys,” you said softly.

“We brought the car around already so you don’t have to walk too much. Don’t wanna spoil all our hard work,” Jimin said, looking at your tummy with affection.

“Like I said Jimin, it probably won’t happen this time. But you never know, you might have some strong swimmers,” you joked.

“You have no idea, Y/N,” he said, gazing into your eyes for a moment.

Your breath caught in your throat. He looked like an angel wrapped in sin, as if he were so good yet so bad for you. It made your head spin.

Jungkook held the car door open for you and you got in carefully. Jimin sat in the back with you while Jungkook sat up front.

Of course these two had a driver...

Jimin was looking out the window and noticed that they were getting into the sketchier part of town. His worry was eating him alive. He didn’t want the mother of his child staying here! That simply wouldn’t do.

You got out of the car, heading towards your apartment when the landlord approached you. Jungkook and Jimin were still getting out of the car when he exploded at you.

“There’s the little bitch now!” He growled, grabbing your wrist and twisting it painfully.

You yelped, trying not to move so much. It only made it hurt more.

“Let me go!” You said.

“You filthy cunt, you owe me almost six thousand dollars! And you dare to come back here without anything? Huh? Nothing? Where have you been huh? Selling your body to make some cash I bet, that’s what little whore’s like you do right? Fucking pathetic,” he spits at you.

“I-I just need a little more time-” a resounding smack is heard through the parking lot.

Jimin and Jungkook look up to see your head turned sharply to the side and a man gripping your wrist.

Both of the men flew off the handle.

“Let go of her you fucker!” Jungkook yelled, walking forward with purpose.

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Jimin growled, pulling you away from the man.

“Did you fucking hit her?” Jungkook said, looking at your reddened cheek.

“Bitch owes me money, she knows that-”

“Fucker!” Jungkook snarled, grabbing the man by his shirt and lifting him.

“Y/N? Sweetie can you hear me?” Jimin whispered. Your head was swimming with pain and discomfort. Your cheek was screaming at you. But what hurt worse was the embarrassment. They saw it all, that you couldn’t take care of yourself. How on earth were you going to take care of a baby if you got pregnant for nine months? Huh?

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, he hurt you. Jungkook put him down and call the cops,” Jimin said.

“I owe him money, I just-”

“You can’t arrest me! You fuckheads, do you know who I am?” He asked.

“Do you know who we are? Hi I’m Jeon Jungkook, heir to the Jeon Law Firm here in the city. You might have heard of us, and she is the mother of my future child and you won’t be putting your hands on her ever again,” Jungkook said.

“I just wanna leave, I don’t... I don’t wanna be here,” you whimpered.

“But Y/N,” Jimin said.

“Can we leave? Please?” You begged, looking up at him with a swollen cheek and glossy eyes. Jimin’s heart broke five times over, seeing you so upset.

“Jungkook, come on. Let’s go,” Jimin said.

“And leave her with this fucking piece of shit? I think not, no we’re going to-Y/N? Are you alright?” Jungkook asked, coming forward and looking at your face with a tenderness you didn’t know was there.

“We’ll take her home with us,” Jimin said easily.

“Okay, yeah. But we’re calling the cops on that dickbag when we get back. I want him arrested for hurting her,” Jungkook said with finality.

“Of course baby,” Jimin said, soothing the younger male.

“Can we just go?” You asked, looking up at them for a moment.

“Yes, of course we can, let’s get you in the car and go back to our place,” Jungkook said, coming forward and getting into the back seat this time. Jimin encouraged you to get inside, so you did, him following shortly thereafter.

“Take us home please,” Jungkook said, shutting the little window between the front of the car and the back.

You sat between the two men, each of them looking out the window and appearing to be deep in thought. You were as well. You hoped this didn’t affect your chances of getting pregnant. You don’t know what you’d do if you couldn’t get this baby. The prospect of so much money on the line, you very future.

Also, you worried for Jungkook and Jimin. You really wanted this to work for their sake too.

They’d been waiting so long.

You were swallowed into the dreamscape of your thoughts. Nothing really getting in or out of your mind. You were just reeling at everything that had happened in less than four hours. You had your first attempt at insemination, went home and got assaulted and now you were heading to the upper end of the city with the two men who wanted you to have a baby for them.

This was all so much to handle.

Finally, the car stopped moving and Jimin quickly ushered you out of the vehicle. You stood there and looked up at the stunning building with a weird sense of fear. It loomed over you, almost intimidatingly so.

Jimin told the driver to go park the car and take the rest of the day off while Jungkook gathered their things from the back. You looked around and noticed that people were staring at you.

No doubt you looked like a sore pink thumb right now. Tear stained and swollen cheeks making you look even more outlandish in the area. But, Jungkook quickly moved everyone inside.

The door man asked who you were and Jimin and Jungkook simply told the truth.

“She’s our surrogate, we’re having her stay with us for a while. If she needs anything, make sure she gets it!” Jimin said.

“Absolutely Mr. Park,” the doorman said.

“Come on Y/N,” Jungkook said, heading towards the elevator.

You followed behind them quickly, getting in the mirrored elevator. Looking at yourself you felt all the anxiety and fear come back. You didn’t belong here, you were wearing a pair of fucked up jeans, a flannel and t-shirt. They were dressed in beautiful clothing, dipped in the finest silks and satins.

You looked like a charity case no doubt.

It made your stomach churn in discomfort. But you kept your mouth shut. You were providing them with a service. And in turn they were paying you. It was a give and take situation. But you couldn’t help but feel as though you were taking more than you were giving.

Jungkook held the door while you and Jimin entered the house. You looked around and the apartment was massive. Bigger than your Aunt’s tiny house in the country. You wondered just how much money these two had.

Soon, Jimin was sitting you down on the couch and tending to your cheek. His heart crumpled when you flinched at his touch. He tried not to take it personally, you were literally just assaulted. But he hoped you weren’t scared of him, or Jungkook.

“Should I call the doctor?” Jungkook asked, coming in and sitting next to Jimin.

“No, she’s just a little swollen, she’ll be alright,” Jimin said, handing you the painkillers and some ice.

“Can she have that?” Jungkook asked, referring to the pain medicine.

“It’s acetaminophen she can have it,” Jimin confirmed.

“Okay,” he said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” Jimin asked, looking at you for any signs of discomfort.

“Not particularly, but I should eat. Especially today,” you said, a weak smile on your face. Jimin nodded, but headed towards the kitchen regardless.

Soon after, a wonderful aroma filled the apartment. But you hadn’t moved from the couch, keeping your eyes trained on the TV Jimin turned on for you. You didn’t particularly want to watch the news, but you weren’t sure on how to work this TV. It made your brain hurt. But, whatever, you kept your eyes on the screen, not looking anywhere in particular.

Jimin soon came out, wearing a smile that must be a signature for him or something. He told you dinner was ready and to follow him. Turning off the TV with a swipe of his finger on the screen you marveled at the technology.

He patted your cheek and brought you into the dining room.

Jungkook was finishing putting the food out when you sat down. He and Jimin were deep in conversation. You picked at your food, eating a few pieces if Jimin put them on your plate. But other than that, you sat unmoving in the corner.

You supposed you were still in shock of what had happened today.

Soon, you felt the distinct cramping in your lower stomach, something you were told is to be expected. Especially if the pregnancy took. Letting out a puff of air, you held your stomach. It wasn’t terrible, but the discomfort had you adjusting in your seat.

Jungkook’s head snapped in your direction, carefully observing you.

“Everything alright? Y/N?” He asked, cocking his head to the side in a cute way.

Forcing a smile you nodded.

“Yeah, just cramping a little bit,” you said, keeping your hands together underneath the table.

“Is it bad?” Jungkook asked, leaning towards you.

“No-ah!” You said, clutching your stomach. It didn’t hurt as much as it caught you off guard. But the two men were beside you in seconds.

“Y/N? Do you want us to call the doctor?”

“Is there something we can get for you? Do you want more pain medicine?”

“N-No, honestly, I’m okay,” you said, giving them each a squeeze to their wrist.

Jimin nodded, standing up and moved to start cleaning up the meal. Jungkook placed a couple more pieces of meat on your plate, asking you to eat them. He thought it could help your cramping, but he mainly just wanted to see you eat something.

Soon, the pair of them had cleaned up the meal and had gathered some clothes for you to wear to bed.

“We’ll pick up some stuff for you to wear tomorrow,” Jungkook said smiling.

“N-No that’s alright I can go back and get my stuff,” you said.

“You’re not going anywhere near that building,” Jimin warned, voice low.

“What? I have to get my stuff-”

“We’ll have someone go collect your things and bring them back here,” Jimin said, careful.

“I can go it’s not a big deal-”

“Y/N, please, just let us take care of this,” Jungkook said, quietly coming over to your side.

You were far too tired to argue. But you already felt like a cat in a cage. So you waved off the disagreement and decided to just head to bed.

The cramping was still there, but not nearly as bad as it had been when you were at the table. Laying down helped, but you felt something in your underwear.

Quickly, you went to the bathroom and noticed some blood in your underwear. Biting your lip, you tried to keep yourself from panicking. Putting them back on you went to living room and found Jimin sitting on the couch, looking tired.

“J-Jimin,” you said quietly.

His head snapped up and he gave you a little smile.

“Yes, Y/N?” He asked, coming towards you. You sighed and ran your hands through your hair.

“I-I was bleeding,” you said, voice straining slightly.

“You were? Where?” He asked, brows furrowing.

“M-My, uh, I found it in my underwear,” you said, breathing in deeply.

“Was it a lot?” He asked, keeping a cool exterior.

“N-No, not a lot but it worried me,” you said, trying to keep yourself from freaking out on him.

“It’s normal to spot a little after the IUI, don’t worry. But tell me if anymore happens. They did just shove a tube up your business,” he said, laughing lightly.

Immediately you were put at ease. Sensing your relief, Jimin patted your shoulder.

“It’s okay to be nervous, we are,” Jimin said, nodding towards the closed door you assumed was to their bedroom.

“Yeah, I’m-I just really want this to work,” you confessed, feeling yourself relax a bit.

“We do too, more than anything,” Jimin answered, giving you a genuine grin.

“I’m glad that the baby will have you two as parents, makes me feel good knowing that they’ll be taken care of,” you smiled back.

Jimin’s face seemed to morph into a look of joy and agony at the same time.

“You’re too sweet, Y/N, honestly. Jungkook and I are beyond excited,” he explained.

“Have you always wanted to be a father?” You asked him, out of the blue. Jimin blushed and looked down at his feet.

“Y-Yeah, ever since I was little I always wanted a family to call my own. And when I met Jungkook I knew it was just meant to be you know? Like, everything just made sense,” he said, a sheepish look taking over his features.

“That’s so sweet,” you gushed.

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged.

“I want someone to look at me the way you look at Jungkook, like I’m their whole world and more. I’ve never been one for dating though,” you said, looking down at the floor, embarrassed.

“No? How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had?” Jimin asked, not thinking. When the shocked look took over your face he back peddled. “I-I shouldn’t have asked, that doesn’t deem your worth or anything like that-”

“None,” you said, blushing bright red.

Jimin’s face changed.

“Tell me if I’m out of line here, but have you ever, uh... You know, um,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

“Oh? Sex? Yeah, I’ve done it before, but it wasn’t really anything special. I don’t even think I-um... Nevermind,” you said, biting your lip hard.

“You don’t think you what? You didn’t cum?” Jimin said, as if he were shocked.

“No! Now keep your voice down!” You yelped.

Jimin frowned.

“That’s horrible, you deserve better,” Jimin said matter of factly.

“It happens, but, this conversation has gotten away from us,” you said, trying to steer it away from your pathetic sex life and more towards the fact that you both need to go to bed. “I’m tired, had a long day.” You said, rubbing your arms.

“Of course, absolutely! If you need anything or something happens, our room is right here just come get us,” Jimin said.

“Okay, thanks,” you said, turning, but not before you wished him a good night.

Jimin gave you a small smile. “Good night, Y/N, sleep well.”

—

Soon your stuff was all moved into the boys apartment. You questioned when you would be leaving, but the boys said that you didn’t have to worry about departing for the foreseeable future.

They had originally wanted you to live with them if and when they found out you were pregnant, that way they could be there through it all. But, these stages after the insemination could be hard on you and they decided to keep you with them.

You felt like a little kid half the time, but you had to call in to work often because of these appointments. And quickly, they tired of it.

“Y/N, we love you and we want you to pick here to work, but honestly your attendance is a severe issue right now,” your supervisor said over the phone. You called in that day because you just were feeling super exhausted.

You hadn’t told them you’d signed up for a surrogacy. You weren’t sure how that would go over, but, maybe you had to if you wanted to save your job.

“I-I’m calling in all the time because I’m trying to get pregnant,” you said softly.

Laughter came from the other side of the phone.

You were being laughed at.

“Oh my God, Y/N, that’s hilarious! But seriously, I have to put you on a two week suspension without pay because-”

“Dawn, I'm serious. I signed up with the fertility clinic and I’m currently trying to become a surrogate for a lovely couple,” you said, honestly.

“Y/N, why did you sign up for that? As far as any of us knew, you weren’t that into kids,” Dawn said over the phone.

“I-I like kids, but the baby won’t be mine to keep. The couple gets to keep them once they are born. I lose all rights as a parent,” you explained.

“That’s kinda cruel... Let you carry the baby for nine months then force you to leave them. I don’t know if I could do that,” she said.

“I-It’s the way it is,” you said. “But I need to have the day off, I have an appointment at the clinic.”

“Y/N, would it be easier if we just let you quit?” Dawn said.

“What?!” You shrieked into the phone.

“Well, it’s a delicate time and we'd have you working on your feet for long hours. I don’t want anything to happen to you or your baby,” she said, sounding sad.

“But I don’t wanna leave you guys,” you whimpered.

“Well, once the little tike is born come back. We’ll hire you back, I promise. If you want to come back,” she offered.

“Y-You’ll really let me come back?” You said, biting your lip.

It would be nice to just focus on the pregnancy and helping Jungkook and Jimin. If you had the option, maybe it would be better to take her advice and go back when you were ready. Hopefully they don’t screw you over.

“Of course we will! We love you! But, right now isn’t the best time for you to be working. Focus on you and your little bundle okay? We’ll be waiting,” she said.

“Oh thank you Dawn! I love you guys too!”

After a little tears ‘see you later’, you hung up.

Soon, a soft knock came to your door. Looking up you saw Jungkook there, dressed to the nines looking at you. Raising a brow you assessed the situation.

“What’s up?” You said, setting your phone down to give him your undivided attention.

“I was wondering if you needed a ride to work, you’re already an hour late,” he said, pointing to the clock on your wall.

“Oh, about that,” you said, rubbing your hands together.

“Did something happen? Did they fire you for being our surrogate? Oh just let me make one phone call, that’s illegal! I’m a lawyer, let me talk some sense into them!” Jungkook said, turning to walk out.

“No, Jungkook! It’s fine, they told me to take the time off. To spend time focusing on myself and to take care of the baby,” you explained. “My job will be there when I’m ready to return.”

Jungkook stopped and looked at you. His features softened before nodding.

“Okay, but if they try to tell you you can’t go back when you’re ready, you just tell me. I won’t let anyone disrespect or lie to you,” he said, a stern look on his face.

“Thanks Jungkook, that means a lot,” you said, giving a smile.

“There’s food in the fridge, all you have to do is heat it up. You have the house to yourself so, do whatever you want,” Jungkook said, waving before walking out of your room.

You sat there for a minute, really mulling over what you wanted to do. Honestly, you were so sore and tired you just wanted to fall back asleep. But you decided that it was better to get up and do some activity. Hopefully that would be okay.

It had been about ten days since your IUI appointment and you were mainly just tired. Although fatigue was a symptom of an attachment. But that was the only symptom you were having, you were meant to test in a couple days to see if you were pregnant, but something had you worried.

If you weren’t pregnant, you’d have to wait a whole other month. They did tell you that sometimes it took multiple tries to successfully impregnate someone. But you really wanted this to work, you just wanted to get this going.

That way Jimin and Jungkook could have their baby already.

You knew they’d be amazing fathers, already with their dutiful actions towards you. So willing to do whatever you asked, but you tried your best not to pester them too much. You tried to make it as though you weren’t even there. But they insisted you join them for dinner so they could make sure you were eating well.

For your day you mainly just puttered around the house, picking up and doing little things that wouldn’t aggravate you. So, you settled down with a book in your hands and soft music playing in the background.

That’s how Jimin and Jungkook found you when they came home. Curled up on the couch with a novel between your fingers. Jimin smiled softly, looking at the picturesque scene.

“Do you think she’s pregnant?” Jungkook asked, looking at his boyfriend with apprehension.

“I hope so,” Jimin answered.

“She’s really tired lately, sleeping late and going to bed early. That’s a sign, right?” Jungkook said.

“It is, but that’s also a sign of a woman’s period coming up,” Jimin warned.

“Damn...” Jungkook said, rubbing his face.

“But I don’t know, she’s due to test soon so, we might have our baby,” Jimin soothed.

You looked up from your book, noticing the pair in the entryway. Giving them a shy smile, you waved, nose getting buried back in the book. Jimin laughed lightly, heading towards the kitchen.

The two cooked dinner, making something easy to digest. Your stomach was on the fritz yesterday so they want to make sure they don’t upset your sensitive tummy. But, as Jimin looked out at you reading on the couch, a blanket draped along your lap. He couldn’t help but love the domesticity of it all. You looked at peace, in your element and comfortable.

Jimin hoped it would stay that way. With you, comfy and cared for.

Jungkook rushed past with the boiling soup in his hands, moving quick like a little kid to set the table for you all. Jimin just laughed, smacking his butt when he came back.

“Hey! Paws off,” Jungkook pouted.

“Hmm? That’s not what you were saying the other night,” Jimin laughed at the scandalized look on Jungkook’s face. “I’m kidding, come on go get Y/N so we can eat.”

Jungkook went to gather you from the living room and was met with an unusual sight. You passed out, wrapped in the blanket with your book on the floor.

He smiled, moving towards you slowly. He placed a soft hand on your head, patting your hair gently. Your eyes opened slowly, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. Jungkook helped you up, leading you to the dining room.

The meal was quiet, Jungkook and Jimin making small talk with you, but mostly you were just eating peacefully.

You ate well and leaned back, as you tended to do when you were full and let out a huff. Jimin repressed the smile on his face with the back of his hand. Jungkook smiled openly, looking at your sleepy form.

Sitting back up you took a few more swallows of water before you stood up and thanked them for the meal and headed towards your room.

Jungkook and Jimin watched you go, each having a weird tightening in their chest at the sight of your swaying hips.

—

You had finally reached the two week mark.

Time to test.

Jimin and Jungkook went with you, driving you to the clinic for your appointment at the ass crack of dawn it felt like.

Jimin was chatting excitedly in the front seat with Jungkook. You could see the looks of love on their faces as they talked about their future with their child. It made butterflies rise in your stomach.

Quickly smacking your cheeks, you tried to forget the sensation of hope building in your belly.

Soon you were all at the clinic, Jimin helping you out of the car. The two men walked on either side of you, making sure everyone knew who you were here with. It made you feel protected, watched over.

Important.

After all the paperwork was done for the visit, Jungkook and Jimin sat down next to you. They interlocked their hands, smiling brightly at each other. You locked your hands together and looked down at them.

“Miss Y/N? Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon? Are you all ready?” A nurse called and you all headed back to a secluded room, a few chairs and the like ready. You saw the needles and everything set up and you swallowed hard.

You hated needles, with a passion.

But you’d done it before, so you’d do it again.

“Y/N? You okay?” Jungkook asked, looking at your paling face.

“Y-yeah, nervous around needles,” you confessed.

“Oh, do you want some water or something?”

“No I’m okay,” you encouraged.

“If you’re sure,” Jungkook said, looking like he wanted to do more...

“Alright! We’re gonna take some blood and a urine sample, so if you two would just wait outside for a moment while we get her changed, then you can come back in if you want,” the nurse explained.

You got changed and hopped up on the table.

They asked a bunch of questions, all fairly standard. Then they brought out the needles. Jimin saw you flinch when the packaging came off and you saw the syringe come closer.

“Hang on,” Jimin said, standing up.

The nurse stopped and looked up in confusion, that’s when Jimin took your hand in his and squeezed.

“You can hold my hand while they take your blood okay? Just squeeze if you need to,” he said, looking at your face for any signs of resistance.

You bit your lip and nodded.

The nurse took your blood quickly, getting a few vials full. Jungkook watched as his boyfriend held your hand the whole time, keeping you calm and at ease.

He hoped with everything he was that this had worked.

God, he wanted it to work so bad.

Soon, the two men were being ushered out of the room so you could do your urine sample.

After everything was done and over with, you got dressed and went to the waiting room. Jimin and Jungkook stood up when they saw you, waving you over to sit with them.

All three of you waited with baited breath as they ran the tests. They kept asking if you wanted anything, water, juice or something to eat. But you politely declined. Knowing if you put anything in your body right now you’d puke it up immediately with how nervous you were for the results.

They said it shouldn’t take too long.

It had been about an hour when a nurse popped her head out, signaling for all three of you to come back.

“Dr. Heinz will see you now,” she said, giving you all a small smile before leading you down the hallway towards the offices.

Shortly, you were sat on a comfortable sofa with Jungkook and Jimin in front of you. Jungkook and Jimin were holding onto each other so tight you feared for their circulation. But, Dr. Heinz was quick to get to the point.

“Well, I want to say, congratulations, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park... Y/N is pregnant,” he said, talking like you weren’t in the room.

“Oh my God!” Jungkook shouted, standing up and hugging Jimin to him tightly. They kissed several times, tears falling freely down the new father’s faces. Dr. Heinz let them have their moment, smiling at the happy couple. You looked down at your stomach and bit your lip.

So this was really happening...

“Jungkook, I love you,” Jimin said, holding onto his boyfriend tightly.

“I love you too babe, I love you too,” Jungkook affirmed.

“Okay we do have to discuss her health however,” Dr. Heinz said, having the men sit down quickly.

“Is she alright?” Jimin said, looking at you with worry written all over his features.

“She’s at a very fragile point in the pregnancy. IUI can be tricky so we need to be very careful with what happens next. I don’t want her doing anything strenuous. Especially with the lower body until we can get her in for an ultrasound. Her uterus looked good on her preliminary but getting pregnant can really affect a woman’s body, so we need to take all the precautions,” Dr. Heinz explained.

“But is she going to be okay?” Jungkook asked, placing a gentle hand on yours.

You looked at his big hand covering yours, blinking slowly.

“I’m worried about her low white blood cell count. That makes her more susceptible to colds and infections, so you need to be very careful. Her red blood cell count was also low, showing early signs of anemia. So lots of red meat and protein to help keep her levels up. Although the anemia will be aggravated by the pregnancy, so make sure she doesn’t stand up too fast or tax herself too much,” he said.

“I am right here,” you said, glaring at the doctor.

“Sorry Miss Y/N, they’re the parents in this situation. I want them to be informed of your situation,” Dr. Heinz said bluntly.

“There are four of us in this room, I’ll remind you of that. Don’t talk like I’m not here please,” you said, folding your hands and crossing your legs.

Jimin almost burst out laughing.

Damn you were feisty!

He really liked that...

“I-I apologize, Miss Y/N,” he said, swallowing quickly before continuing on. “Also, you’re going to start having more symptoms than the fatigue you mentioned. Morning sickness is extremely common and expected, although every woman is different. Headaches, dizziness and blurred vision are also to be noted. Even some spotting can happen, but please do tell us if you’re spotting or bleeding. Now, do any of you have questions?” The doctor asked, looking at the boys and you.

“Is there any way to know if we are expecting, more than one?” Jimin asked, looking down at your stomach with pure adoration on his face.

“We won’t really know until she’s further along. Quite a bit further actually. But for now, enjoy this. Enjoy the early stages, it’ll be tough but you can pull through. I wish you all the best of luck,” Dr. Heinz said, handing some paperwork over to Jungkook before the three of you stood up and headed out.

Jimin and Jungkook were so excited, chatting with each other about if they were having twins. If the baby was a boy or girl. You were in the car, hands folded in your lap while you looked out the window.

Honestly, you were scared out of your mind.

The doctor had mentioned this was a really fragile part of the pregnancy. That you’d have to be careful, not to mention it was important for your own health as well. If something happened to the baby, something could happen to you and vice versa.

Jungkook insisted on taking everyone out for dinner.

This was a big occasion after all.

Sitting down in the very resturant you all had your first meal in, felt kinda surreal.

Now, you were pregnant with their baby. It felt kinda full circle.

Jimin and Jungkook insisted on getting whatever you wanted. But you weren’t terribly hungry yet, maybe it was the nerves of the whole day catching up. But you ordered a few things, making sure to eat. You knew it made them happy when you did, because it showed you cared about your body and the life growing inside of you.

Jungkook was drinking, a lot if you were being honest. Jimin just watched him as his cheeks flushed red as he continued to talk animatedly at the two of you. Smiling, you filled up Jungkook’s water before urging him to drink some.

“Thanks youuu,” he said, beaming at you.

“You’re welcome, but drink up okay?” You said, gesturing towards the glass.

He did as you asked, drinking all the water. You sighed in relief, knowing at least he’d be hydrated when he went to bed.

“Well, guess you aren’t driving you big lug,” Jimin laughed as he hauled Jungkook out of the restaurant a while later.

“Mmm, we’re having a baby baby!” Jungkook cooed at Jimin, holding his cheeks in between his hands.

“Mhmm, yes we are. Now get in the back with Y/N, okay?” Jimin said, opening the back and helping his very tipsy boyfriend inside. You were about to climb in when Jimin placed his hands on your hips, causing you to jolt so hard you smacked your head on the roof of the car.

“Ow, fuck,” you said, holding your head tightly.

“Y/N!” Jimin yelped. Jungkook’s head popped up.

“What happened?” He asked, looking at you with bleary eyes.

“I just smacked my head, I’m alright,” you said, rubbing your head gingerly.

“Can I take a look?” Jimin asked, biting his plump lips harshly.

“Y-yeah,” you said, leaning towards him.

Jimin’s gentle hands on your scalp proved to be dangerous. Because now, you wanted him to touch you here all the time. Combing his fingers through your hair. Massaging the tender flesh there.

“Well, you aren’t bleeding, but you’ll have a massive bump for a few days no doubt,” he reasoned.

“She’s gonna have a massive bump here soon too!” Jungkook cheered happily, pointing at your stomach.

“Jungkook, enough,” Jimin warned.

Grumbling to himself, Jungkook backed off.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jimin asked. You nodded, already feeling the throbbing in the base of your skull starting.

“I’ll take a few pain killers when we get back,” you said.

“Okay,” Jimin said, running his hand from your head down to cradle your cheek in his palm. You’re cheeks heated up at the feeling of his skin on yours, but shortly he was retreating to the front of the car.

Soon, you were underway.

Jimin turned on the radio quietly, driving carefully around town.

Jungkook had managed to fall asleep against the window. When suddenly, the car was jerking to the side. Jimin laid on the horn, yelling a couple explicit words out the window. But, Jungkook’s body had already fallen into your lap.

His head rested comfortably against your thighs, arms draping across your legs. Jungkook continued to sleep peacefully while you inspected him. He had a beautiful nose, button like and slotting perfectly along with his already perfect features. His plush lips pouting as he slept. Your eyes widened at him, heart hammering in your chest as you gazed down at him.

He was incredibly handsome.

But, you knew his personality too. He was kind, but strong and sure of himself. He had an air of confidence that was almost infectious. But he also had a childish nature about him. Not immature, but there was something about the wonder in his eyes when he tried something new. Or the nostalgia that ran through him when he ate his favorite food or, just the sparkle in his eyes when Jimin came home.

You, as if possessed, took your hand and ran your fingers through his soft black hair. He groaned in his sleep, gripping your legs tighter. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, watching his face for any signs of discomfort.

Jimin looked in the rearview mirror and saw you stroking Jungkook’s head with a gentle hand. His heart thudded dangerously in his chest. You were so caring and tender, everything you did had purpose behind it.

Jimin felt relief flood him at the idea of you being the mother of he and Jungkook’s child. Technically just Jimin’s but Jungkook was also the father but he didn’t get any genetics in this one.

This one...

Did Jimin want to have more children?

You just got the announcement today and he was already giddy at the prospect of you growing large with his child. But confusion swept through him. Was this just because he was grateful to you? Or was it something more?

Looking at you and Jungkook in the back, he thinks he might already know the answer.

[citrus-simp]

Hope everything is okay. I just wanted to say I love your writing and both blogs :) if you ever do open requests again, and even if you do you don’t have to write this. But how about a drabble of levi and his wife who have 2 sons and 1 daughter named Kutchel who is 3/4. Levi loves all his kids but kinda has a soft spot for kutchel🥺 and sometimes her brothers exclude her from play n are mean to her so she comes up to him trembling like “why won’t they play w me daddy”. Cue levi. Rest is up to u.

{AN}-> first of all, thank you so much for the love and support and of course for reading my work! And yes I am doing better thank you for the wishes! I am and ULTIMATE simp for papa Levi!

=================================

"I'm home" Levi called out as he slipped out of his work shoes and hung his blazer

"Dad! Look what I won today at practice!"

"Dad look at the grade I got o my test today!" your sons yell as they ran to their father holding up objects for him to look at.

Your eldest Liam who was 8 showed him what his football coach gave him, at practice. He had done very well and had gotten a button that said MVP on it, he was very proud of himself. Eli, your younger son who was 6, wanted him to know how well he was doing in his classes. He was top of his class and loved to show you both how hard he worked

"Congrats to both of you, I'm proud of you both for working so hard," he said ruffling their hair, gaining a big smile from them both

"Welcome home, Levi" you popped in with Kutchel in your arms, pecking Levi's lips. Your youngest and only daughter, Kutchel. She was 3, and definitely had Levi wrapped around her little finger.

The thing was, not only was she named after his mother, she looked so much like her! Of course, she had certain things from you but her eye shape, and nose were from his mother. Unfortunately, Levi lost his mother before Kutchel was born. It took a toll on him, all the things she had done to care for him, her sacrifice, everything.

He felt as though he was never able to repay her. Next thing you know about a year later, you found out about your pregnancy, with your first girl. The day she was born, Levi felt something he never had before. It was almost like he had completely healed from his loss when he looked at her.

"Papa!" she reached out for her father to take her, which he gladly did

"Hey there princess," he said kissing her chubby cheek "what did you do today?"

"Me and mama went to the park and I fed the birdies," she said with a rosy smile.

"Oh look at you doing big girl things! I'm so proud of you princess." he smiled at her and raised her above his head. Her brothers watching a bit disappointed from a distance.

Did they hate their sister? No. Their parents taught them to respect and love their sister, which they did. But at their age, jealousy was something big among siblings. Seeing how their father would be more affectionate towards their sister made them feel different. They saw that their father would gravitate more to their sister than to them. Or he would put her first before them when asked to spend time with them.

Of course, you had noticed this way before time. You had asked him when you were pregnant with Eli that he wouldn't have favorites and love all your kids equally. You knew that could make a bad relationship with his kids and between siblings so you wanted to avoid it. Sometimes you'd step in and try to give your sons the same praise, but of course, they still wanted their father's attention.

"Liam why don't you go and find a nice place to put that MVP button in your room, like a trophy" you try and lighten the mood "and Eli, I'm sure I have a frame for that test of yours" thank the god it actually worked as both boys run in different directions for each of their own things to do.

"Levi, did you see the boys' accomplishments?' you ask

"Y/N, I know where you're going with this. I paid attention to all of them, Liam is doing great in football, and Eli is practically a genius," he said putting down Kutchel

"*sigh* I know I just-"

"Want no one hurt I know, well how about you meet me in the kitchen and we can talk it out alright? Kutchel sweetheart, why don't you go and play with your brothers while I talk with mommy okay?" he said ruffling her hair

" 'Kay!" she said running up the stairs to where she'd find her brothers most likely.

"And what would this talk be about?" you ask raising an eyebrow as his hands found your waist

"Oh just about how I have some time to kiss you properly~"

>

" 'iam" Kutchel said as she enters his room, Eli in the same as they played together "can I pway with you and E-i?"

"No Kutchel, go away" Liam sneered "we don't play with babies"

"I'm not a baby!" she pouted

"Go away Kutchel, you're not smart enough to play this game either way," Eli said motioning to the board where he and his brother were playing chess "Maybe dad wants your company" Eli may be smart but he also got his father's sassy mouth

"B-but I wanna pway with you" he pouted trying not to cry as she sniffed

"Kutchel just go away, ugh you're so annoying when you cry"

"Yeah, and only babies cry."

"I-I not...a-a baby," she said as tears pooled in her eyes, of course, they would tease her playfully at times but this time Kutchel really did feel hurt

"Whatever, the only reason gives you so much attention is 'cause you were a mistake and he doesn't want you feeling bad" Eli sneered without thinking

"N-not true!" she stopped her feet as tears started to fall from her eyes, but she just couldn't handle any more ridicule from her brothers and left.

Meanwhile, you and Levi were in the kitchen caught in a makeout session when you heard a certain someone crying "Papa, mommy!"

It wasn't a regular call, she sounded hurt and heartbroken causing you both to separate quickly

"Kutchel, sweetheart what happened?" you ask as you kneel down and she crashes into your arm and lets out all her tears. Levi kneels beside you and strokes her back trying to comfort her some more

"P-papa, why won't 'iam let me play?" she asked her father as she peaked from your shoulder "T-they say I was a mistake.." she sniffed and you swore you could see the fire in his eyes. You stood up with Kutchel in your arms as Levi shot up and walked towards the stairs

"Levi! Levi, keep your anger in control, don't you dare-"

"Y/N, I won't do anything brash, but they can't say crap like that. I for sure didn't raise them this way. Just watch Kutchel, I'll talk to the boys"

Levi would NEVER lay a hand on his kids, but you didn't want him scolding either. However, they couldn't just say what they wanted to their sister thinking it was okay. Especially to the point of her crying.

"Come on baby, let's go watch the birds outside okay?"

Meanwhile, Levi is now knocking on Liam's door "Liam, Eli, come downstairs" he said while taking the lead waiting on them. He sat in a chair in front of the sofa and watched his sons take a seat. They looked like they knew what happened...

"Is there something you want to tell me? Like why Kutchel came to us crying? Asking if she was a mistake?" he said with a firm voice but not yelling at them. But enough to let them know he was very serious about the situation. Eli started to fidget with his fingers while looking down in his lap. Liam keeps eye contact with his father trying to keep a straight face.

"We didn't want to play with her so we said that so she'd leave..." Liam said

"That doesn't justify calling her a mistake. All three of you are here because your mother and I wanted you and we were happy as hell to have all of you."

"Even if you wanted all of us, it's not like you love all of us the same" Eli said crossing his arms

"Eli, that isn't-"

"you always put her first. Even if we come to you, whenever she comes you act more affectionate and happy with her just existing"

"We always have to do something just to get your attention...it sucks dad..." Liam added, "why can't you just love us how you love her?"

Levi was honestly hurt. He didn't want this to happen. He loved his sons to the moon and back. Maybe it was true that Kutchel got more attention from him but it didn't mean he didn't love them

"Boys, do you remember grandma?" Levi asked relaxing his posture a bit. Both boys nodded "Well, your sister looks a lot like my mother, it's why we gave her that name. I think I got attached to her in a way to cope with losing her. But I never want you to think I don't love you." he said kneeling in front of the two children

"The day you were both born were two of my happiest moments. You know I cried the first time you walked to me, Liam? And the day you told off Hanji made me laugh, Eli" he shared with them "I love Kutchel, but I also love you both to the end of my days. But I am sorry." he apologized opening his arms for them.

Hopping off the couch they have a warm group hug

"Alright, you two. I apologized but you still have some apologizing to do with your mother and sister," he said taking their hands and walking to the back porch where you sat with Kutchel

Levi clears his throat "You and Kutshcel have some visitors" he said with a nod to his hands

"Oh? What would these visitors like to say?" you ask in hope of a good outcome

"We're sorry we were mean to you Kutchel" Eli started

"Yeah, we didn't mean it, really. We were a little jealous but we never meant to hurt you. We love you" Liam followed

Kutchel pouted, not making eye contact "Really?" she asked

"Really really." they both offer a smile Kutchel jumps up from your arms and runs to hug her brothers. Walking over to Levi you kiss his shoulder and say

"Guess you'll be getting a reward for this accomplishment~"

===============================

[littlemisslipbalm]

I live in the neighbourhood

When Y/N moved to Hampstead she was unaware of the implications the decision would have on the course of the rest of her life.

or

Harry is Y/N’s eccentric neighbour who sweeps her up in the whirlwind that is his life

this gif bc its maybe my favorite clip of him EVER holy fuck - this is the harry of my dreams this is the harry of i live in the neighbourhood

HEY YALL it’s been a minute and I missed yall so much and I’m just about to be on break so maybe i’ll be back to posting writing regularly but with school its so hard and I think I’ve been working on this for months so yeah <3 lol PLS PLS PLS leave me feedback and reblogs and that stuff bc otherwise my writing just feels...empty and you have no idea the smile i get when even just the tags say like “god this was everything” it can be anything honestly but it keeps my passion up. Thank you again and hope you enjoy.

Word Count: ~10k | Warnings: swearing probably? no smut (yet), rich and famous harry - mentions of Taylor Swif 

-

She considered herself an average young woman in her mid twenties. She liked screaming Taylor Swift and Megan Thee Stallion songs alone in her car and thrifting on weekends. She hated cable because of commercials and when doordash didn’t deliver all of her order. She had asthma when she worked out or the air quality was bad. She had dumb celebrity crushes that her friends and her still laughed over with every new instagram post. She had hopes and dreams she had yet to achieve and she had past trauma that many would never know about, especially at first glance.

Sure, she was successful. She would admit that. How else would she be able to afford even the modest little house she had found in Hampstead? She had studied international business in college and hopped on a plane to London the first chance she got. After a few years of a more than decent paycheck and an advantageous stimulus check from her kind parents, she was able to move out of her starter flat into the suburbs. The definitive push for the move was two-fold. Her parents wanted her to take her dog and her apartment complex was strict on no pets. Then her promotion at work - which included a pay raise - made it hard to wave off taking full ownership of her childhood ten-pound best friend.

So with life happening as it usually does, Y/N first found herself scouring Zillow, then touring homes in the area, and finally standing outside a three bedroom, two bath, two-story cream house in Hampstead. Her house.

The little moving truck she had rented sat beside her as she stared at her future. The realtor had told her they would be there in ten minutes. For the next ten minutes all Y/N had to do was keep herself from combusting, or worse, sobbing.

She felt overwhelmed already. Renting a flat in London was one way to describe herself as independent. Owning a home in Hampstead seemed like a whole new level of adulthood she wasn’t sure if she was prepared for.

After taking a few deep breaths to ground herself, Y/N walked up to the gate that kept her front yard narrowly separated from the sidewalk. She lifted one hand from beneath the box she clutched tightly to her chest to push past the iron-rod gateway. The garden was cute, a little bland, and she thought to herself that maybe she’d develop some gardening skills now that she had her own front yard. The thought made her smile a little, refraining from laughing aloud while on her lonesome, since she had never taken interest in gardening before. But this house. This house. It was a new beginning. It was a fucking unwritten journal. Blank film. Unknown territory. She could be anyone in this house.

She gently placed the cardboard box on the first step up to the front door. There was no porch, but she couldn’t complain. It was gorgeous and she was lucky to get it at the price she did. The house was cream with dark blue accents and a grey shingled roof. Lots of windows. It was classic and it was hers.

After the realtor came with her keys and made sure everything seemed alright, Y/N’s couple of friends, Amélie and Daniel, arrived with their cars filled with items she had needed picking up from various stores. They helped her move her stuff into the house. Thankfully it was already half furnished, meaning she didn’t have to go out and buy beds or couches or any of those big items that are both expensive and a hassle to deal with.

By the time the evening had rolled around, everything was in the house and it actually seemed semi put together. Y/N looked around, sweat apparent on her face and hands on her hips, proud of what she had accomplished. The nerves from earlier had been drowned by pride.

-

The next day, she woke up from her first night in the house. It felt like a dream even though she was sure she was awake.  

She had to navigate her way to the airport today to pick up her dog from his long flight and then mainly settle into the house. Her house sat on Sherwood Avenue, one of the many streets in Hampstead. It’s neighboring houses were much larger. The ones directly next to and across from her weren’t drastically bigger but what she had yet to learn was that next to the house across from her there were two houses that had been joined together by their slightly eccentric owner. A man who would be the match that ignited the flame that was the rest of her life.

This unknown fact quickly became known after Y/N’s first few weeks in her new neighbourhood. The eccentric - more so absurdly rich - neighbor who conjoined the houses was Harry Styles.

The first time they crossed paths she wasn’t even aware of it. It was the day she moved in. He had been out for his usual morning run and was rounding the corner when she had pulled up in her moving van. Once inside his home, he snoopily watched on as his neighbour began to move in. He hadn’t taken note of much about her, just that she was new and that she had a nice pair of jeans on that day.

The second time, Y/N was convinced she needed to get her eyes checked because there was no way that she had just seen Harry Styles key himself into the house across the way from her. There was no way that she had moved into the same area as him, let alone the same street. It seemed far more plausible that she needed a psych evaluation or a strong glasses prescription.

But the third instance of them crossing paths, she was proven wrong. She was on her way back from the neighbourhood park when she saw a guy jogging towards her. With a yellow beanie and a black Columbia sweatshirt paired with running shorts and shoes, he was hard to ignore running straight towards her. The iconic curls, strong jawline, and soft green eyes were dead giveaways this time. After making brief eye contact as their paths literally crossed, she felt herself make a little face of odd interest. Her head quirked and her eyes narrowed, lips pursed with slight confusion. That was definitely him.

After that, she found herself seeing Harry around the neighbourhood a relatively good amount. She’d see him at the park, at the coffee shop, on their street, and more. They didn’t speak. She really didn’t think he would want to be bothered by his neighbours and she certainly wasn’t willing to test the theory. They sometimes gave a small smile of acknowledgement but nothing really friendly. Just ‘you exist and I know that’.

-

Fridays are Y/N’s favorite day. It’s the beginning of the weekend, she never has to go into work and it’s simply a nice day. People are happier, they smile brighter and it just seems like the world is a little better than usual.

Friday was especially amazing today because her childhood best friend, Cate, was arriving at London Heathrow in the evening. Y/N had begged Cate to fly out to see the new house in person and Cate had finally found the time to run away to England for a week.

She shut her front door carefully behind her and placed her headphones in her ears. Rori, that little terrier, who had made a similar flight to see Y/N’s place not too long ago, scampered out the door with her and jumped happily at her legs as she fiddled with her phone. Her coat ruffles around her disturbed from the morning air. It’s blanket-like fabric that consisted of a deep blue backdrop with felt giraffes sewn on it, kept her warm while she walked. With her mind racing with weekend plans and ideas for her and Cate to do both in Hampstead and the city, she crossed the street like usual and began to walk with her dog to the coffee shop for her morning tea.

Unlike usual, she fumbled just as she was putting her phone in her pocket and bumped into something large and definitely not sedentary.

“I’m so sorry!” She blushed and moved backwards from the man who had just been shutting his own front gate to head somewhere.

“S’alright. No harm, no foul.” He looks down at her and her dog. Rori seems excited by the stranger and sniffs him eagerly. A single paw prodding at the man’s long leg.

She grimaces, hearing the voice and stepping back allows her to fully recognize who she had just bumped into. Her neighbour. The runner. Harry Styles.

“Sorry.” She mutters again as Rori continues to prod at Harry’s leg.

She tries to coax Rori away, but Harry simply smiles and leans down to the small dog.

“Hi there buddy,” he coos and rubs the top of the fluffy dogs head, in between his pointy ears, “What’s your name?”

“Rori.” She states easily, Harry’s eyes flickering to her smoothly. Rori makes a smile babbling noise that sounds a bit like a tiny roar - hence the name - and Harry chuckles to himself.

“He’s really adorable,” he finally says and straightens up from his admiring of the dog.

The grimace becomes more of a smile on her face and she mumbles a “Thank You”.

As her neighbour - who hasn’t introduced himself (which wasn’t necessary, but still) or bothered to ask for her introduction - seems to be about to say something new when his phone begins to vibrate obnoxiously. He twitches, his large hands immediately going to his pockets for the important device. He checks the message and looks back at her face.

“Sorry, I have to run...um,” he’s not sure what to say. He really does have to go, but he doesn’t even know his neighbour’s name. He’ll have to make sure to get it at some point in the near future. Especially now that he’s acquainted with her dog.

“No worries,” she smiles completely this time, relieved for the whole interaction to be over. She felt like she was going to explode with each passing moment. In the presence of a legendary musician, c’mon, who wouldn’t be freaking out. All she could think about was how Harry Styles now knew her dog’s name. What the fuck!

-

Upon arriving at the airport, she waited patiently for Cate to walk out of the customs area.

When she did, the two young women began jumping up and down excitedly, Y/N squealing only slightly. They hugged and began chattering intensely, catching up on lost time that generally occurs when you live an ocean apart.  

Finally, one comment rings through the constant back and forth and Cate stops.

“Wait, what did you just say,” she questions as they begin walking to catch an uber back to Hampstead.

“I think my house might be haunted?” Y/N’s voice raising because she’s unsure if that’s what Cate was talking about.

“No, no, the thing after that. I think I must’ve misheard you.”

“Harry Styles is my neighbour?” Y/N’s brows raise as she looks over at her best friend, curious to know what she will say.

“Yes! Explain. Now!”

“It’s not really a big deal. It’s a nice neighbourhood, it makes sense that celebrities of his caliber want to live there.”

“That is not explaining. You have to introduce us!”

As they climb into their uber and settle in for the short ride back to Hampstead, Y/N sighs and tells Cate everything she knows.

“We’ve only just spoken today and I’ve been here for a couple weeks. He lives across the street and down one, I guess. I just see him around, it’s not like he knows who I am. He didn’t even get my name today, just Rori’s.” She laughs lightly, still finding it funny that Harry knows her dog’s name.

Cate nods, leaning in slightly to her best friend, hardly able to contain her awestruckness from the story and baffledness at Y/N’s calmness. “So, like, when do I get to meet him?”

“Girl, I don’t fucking know. Never, if you’re going to act wild. I don’t want the neighbourhood to think I’m not chill.”

“Sometimes…” Cate starts and leans away from Y/N jokingly, “I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

They both smile, bumping elbows silently. The song on the radio fading in louder as their words die out.

-

The next day, Y/N took Cate to the local park. It was expansive and connected to the football fields that local teams would play at. The park section was a luscious green that was maintained with copious amounts of watering by the township.

She and Cate settled on a patch of grass near a slender tree that would offer some shade if the sun’s rays became too harsh. The quilt they sat on was something her grandmother had made her when she was maybe 8 years old, meaning it was torn in places and completely worn in a different shade of pink than it had been initially.

They set up their picnic and played music, enjoying the sunny day. Something rare and fleeting as the fall began to creep up on Hampstead.

They eat and catch up on life for about an hour. Basking in the sunlight, Y/N had laid on her back and was staring up at the clouds passing along the sky. Cate was carefully watching their surroundings, simply taking in her friend’s new home, but possibly for another reason too.

“Hey, isn’t that…” Cate trails off, trying to subtly nod in the direction of an approaching figure.

Y/N sits up, her hands holding her up from behind her. Her hair fails in front of her shoulders slightly and it’s a little disheveled from being mused in the grass. She looks discreetly in the direction of Cate’s nodding and then looks at her friend and rolls her eyes.

“Yes, but don’t say anything, he might not even notice me and I’m certainly not calling out to him.”

‘Illicit Affairs’ by Taylor Swift is playing off her speaker and as she’s about to change it, Cate turns it up slightly. They share a glare with one another before trying to act casual again, even though both of their eyes kept flickering to the man who seemed to be continuing closer and closer to their set up.

It became clear that Harry was approaching them after all and Y/N tried to carry on an unbothered conversation with Cate, which was hard with the constant nudging of Cate’s foot on her shin.

He stops a mere foot away from their blanket, beaming at the two young women lounging on the ground. He makes an attempt at a casual wave, his large hand splaying his fingers quickly, before opening his mouth to speak.

Cate beats him to the punch. “Hello there!”

“Erm, hi!” He says nicely to her and then looks at Y/N.

“No Rori today?” He inquires.

“No,” she smiles, slightly blushing at the fact that he remembered her and her dog. “He’s napping.”

“Ah, I see,” He pauses, “I feel like I need to apologize.” He continues.

“For what?” She questions and Cate watches on anxiously, mesmerized by Harry and dying to see what happens next.

“I ran off before I could even ask for your name or introduce myself. It was terribly rude.”

“Oh,” she can’t stop smiling, “It’s nothing to apologize for, I’m sure you’re busy. Besides I had to get my day started, otherwise I would’ve been late picking her up.” She points to Cate who smiles sheepishly, still internally screaming over the fact that her friend is able to talk so easily to a celebrity.

Harry nods and looks at Cate again, “Just visiting I take it then?”

She nods quickly, words escaping her. Y/N chuckles under her breath and swoops in to save her friend any embarrassment. “Cate’s my best friend and she’s been kind enough to take time out of her extremely busy life to come look at my new house.”

He hums, still standing a respectful distance from their set-up. “Nice to meet you, Cate,” he says very kindly. Then he laughs, but in a way that is like he’s beside himself. The two women both quirk their heads at him. Y/N squints her eyes slightly, trying to understand the guy she is talking to and connecting him with the man that is all over the news all of the time for his musical genius.

“Now I know your dog and best friend’s names but still not yours. At this point, I’m begging you to tell me.”

They all laugh and Y/N feels nervous for the first time since Harry had walked up.

“You first,” she smiles slyly.

His eyes widen slightly in surprise, but then go back to normal. Harry was very smart, she likely knew his name, but one, she was trying to be funny and two, she was also trying to be courteous. He preferred to introduce himself rather than just be told who he is, even if people already knew. It allowed him to maintain some normalcy.

“‘M Harry,” He says with a smile.

“Alright.” She says and then remains quiet.

Harry’s lips quirk up in a faint smile, amused at her expression.

“I thought it was a ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ type of situation or was I mistaken?” He finally asks when she remains silent still.

The two young women laugh and Y/N bites the inside of her cheek, both feeling flustered and completely in control at the same time.

“You weren’t mistaken, I was just thinking.” Then she pauses again and Cate thinks Harry is about to combust and Harry thinks he’s going to as well with all the anticipation that has been built up over his neighbor’s name, even though he was pretty sure he’d heard it in passing at one point or another but had forgotten quickly afterwards.

“It’s Y/N.”

Harry releases a facetious sigh of relief, “Oh thank god! Finally!” His words quickly turn into an infectious laugh that is paired with a shining smile and she feels like she’s swooning right then and there. The control has gone out the window and she’s taken with her neighbor. He’s wonderful in that moment and she forgets about Cate or the park or anything. It’s just Harry and how it seems like he’s smiling just for her.

“Now that I’ve gotten your name,” he smiles pointedly at her after his laughter has faded away. The smile doesn’t leave his face though, his eyes still crinkled, his dimples still showing.

She nods, encouraging him to continue. Cate feels like she’s watching a movie unfold in front of her and she wishes she could record the entire interaction.

“I can finally ask you, Y/N, where did you get that fabulous coat I saw you wearing yesterday?”

She twitches further upright, eyes bringing themselves directly inline with Harry’s gaze. “Oh,” she inhales, “The giraffe one, yeah?”

He nods.

“I got it from a Goodwill years ago. It’s some vintage company that used to only make sleepwear. I looked up the tag one time and it doesn’t exist anymore. Super cool, though. Wish I could buy more.”

“Yeah,” Harry says eagerly, even taking a step towards the women, “It was so intriguing. Maybe, if you didn’t mind of course -” he falters, losing his courage for a moment, “you could bring it over and my stylist could check it out. I would love something similar and I’m sure he could figure it out.”

She shrugs. It wasn’t crazy, especially not for Harry - she assumed. She was certain he often found things he liked but there was only one of them so he would just order his own. She couldn’t help the pride that was swelling inside her though it that moment. Harry Styles liking her jacket so much he asked where it was from and then wanting his stylist to look at it. She’d jump for joy when she was in the safety of her private home later tonight with Cate.

“One condition,” she says and Harry’s brows quirk amusedly at her.

“You are a very tit for tat person,” he muses.

“Fair’s fair,” she shrugs again and then looks around her quickly, “It’s simple so don’t get too worked up over it, buddy.”

He laughs slightly again and tries to figure out what she’s looking for. When she extends a scratched up, sticker-covered point and shoot film camera he smiles.

“Can you take a picture of Cate and I? It’s always just the two of us so we never have anyone to take pictures of us together.”

Harry grins at this and her sincere face. Cate is a little taken aback, because while it’s technically true, it’s not entirely factual. They have plenty of film pictures of them - maybe not recently though. And she wasn’t going to question Y/N right now. It seemed like she knew what she was doing.

Harry takes the camera and begins to look through the viewfinder. The women scoot closer together and Cate wraps her arm around Y/N’s shoulder. She leans in to press her cheek against her best friend. They smile up at the camera and Harry crouches slightly to get a better angle.

“Alright,” he mumbles, “Ready?...Cheese!”

Their smiles stay hung on their face as they listen for the click and when the faint sound befalls their ears, Cate laughs and Y/N pulls away. She reaches forward for the camera, her hand easily brushing Harry’s large one.

Their smiles meet each other and Cate can’t help but notice how they grow as the two of them look at one another.

“Thank you,” Y/N says sweetly and pulls back to retake her seat on the blanket.

Harry straightens up, his grin falling back into that signature smirk. “No problem.”

“So-” He begins but she cuts him off.

“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you around, yeah?”

He clears his throat, feeling thrown off. “Yeah, sure. I guess next time I see you we can talk about when a good time would be for your jacket to come over?”

His voice raises at the end of his question a little more than usual, he’s trying to get her to bite, but she doesn’t seem like someone who is easily thrown off. He is trying to read her and she’s been completely cool the entire time. It’s intriguing. Even more so than the jacket, even though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it, it wasn’t really his focus when he walked across the park to her and Cate.

“Yep! It was nice finally meeting you Harry.”

He feels the cue to walk off and says his farewells. As he walks off, back on course to his intended destination, his head is filled with questions. Most important of them being when he would see her again.

Cate and Y/N watch him walk towards the football fields. They see him meet with a group of men and it seems like they’re there to practice or play a game. Y/N couldn’t be sure.

“He likes you!” Cate finally bursts out.

Y/N rolls her eyes, “Stop trying to make me take the piss. That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”

“It’s not! He likes you and you obviously like him, I mean, but we been knew.”

“Having a crush on the famous Harry Styles when you’re 17 is different than me liking my neighbour Harry.”

“But you like him don’t you? He’s even better than he was when he was 19. Now he’s all grown up and established and more your style anyway.”

“Shut up! He could hear you.”

“He really couldn't, he's yards away, you’re just paranoid.” Cate continues to tease and ridicule her best friend over Harry and Y/N is just about ready to up and leave, but she also can’t help but laugh it off.

“I’m literally gonna kick you out if you keep talking,” Y/N says between laughs and the women feel like they’re back in high school losing their minds over the stupidest joke ever.

“Okay, fine. But all I have to say is I will hold this over you when you end up together.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure, whatever. Just be prepared to wait forever because I can promise you Harry Styles and I are never ending up together.”

--

Two Weeks Later

Y/N walked to her door after hearing the doorbell ring and opened it to find her neighbour standing with his arm raised ready to knock.

“Hey, Harry,” She greeted easily, but not entirely sure why he was here.

They hadn’t really seen each other since their official meeting in the park. It hadn’t bothered her and it hadn’t really bothered Harry either. It seemed like they both had extremely busy lives that they didn’t plan on throwing out the window because they had said they would meet up at some point. She liked that.

Harry had come over because he finally had a break in his schedule and was hoping to talk about the jacket and anything else really. He was interested in getting to know her and he didn’t care to hide it.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go get a coffee or something?” He asked, leaning himself against her door frame now.

Her eyebrows raise and her eyes widen a little bit, not completely sure she heard him correctly.

“Right now?!” She asked incredulously.

She was wearing an oversized grey sweatshirt and black bike shorts that peaked out from underneath the sweatshirt hem. One of her socks was shoved around her ankle while the other was pulled up flat to touch the base of her calf. She didn’t think she was looking the most presentable at the moment. She had been basking in her day off by simply laying on the couch watching hours of Netflix.

He nods, his smile growing on his face. Her flustered expression only made him happier. She was always so nonchalant with him, he wanted to see her a little more antsy.

“Unless you’re busy,” he adds seriously, not wanting to bother her, just wanting to spend time with her.

“No, no. I’m not...I’m not busy. I just wasn’t expecting any plans where I would be required to go out in public. Let me just...um, come inside and then give me five minutes.”

“Sure,” Harry smiles again as he steps into her home.

Her smile is sheepish and much less genuine then the one Harry holds on his face as he takes in her abode. She tells him to make himself comfortable and then runs to her room to try and possibly fix her state in under five minutes.

She tears around her room, heaving off the frumpy sweatshirt and grabbing a long sleeve striped v-neck top she had hanging out half out of her hamper, a sign known to her that while it was clean enough to wear, if she happened to do laundry she should wash it. Slipping it over her head, she walks to her dresser and leans over to open the bottom drawer and unfolds a pair of dark wash oversized jeans. There’s no holes in them and she throws them on the bed so that she can slip out of her current pants. Next, onto the socks, she swaps out the current ones for a fresh black pair and finds her tortoise print boots to flick on. As she just about runs into her en suite bathroom, she zips the two boots up between steps. A quick comb through her hair, deodorant, two spritz of perfume, her eyelash curler and mascara and she’s running back to where Harry is waiting in her living room.

He blinks surprisedly at her promptness, usually giving people more time then what they say they need. She had indeed gotten ready in five minutes. He thought she looked breathtaking. And she felt like she was at a lack for breath in any case.

“It’s a bit cold out,” he glances to the window.

“Isn’t it always?” She smiles, finally catching her breath.

He chuckles and then nods, a smile appearing on his face as he feels a warmth in his chest at her wit.

“Ready?” He checks in.

She nods, grabbing a coat she kept hung by the door.

“Just the coffee shop down the way?” She inquires as they exit the house and she locks the door behind her.

Harry hums, waiting down a step for her to turn around and walk beside him. It was so strange to her, this felt all too normal with him. Like he was just a friend who had come to pick her up for coffee, her neighbor, nothing more.

“Did you hear the new season of the Crown is coming out soon?” Harry asks as they walk shoulder to shoulder (technically since her shoulder wasn’t in line with his).

“Really?” She looks at him, “I love that show!”

“Me too,” He looks at her and smiles happily.

“That’s amazing,” she breathes mostly to herself, half about the show and half about how Harry watches television and that he watches one of her favorite shows.

There’s silence. The brisk air pricking their cheeks as they walk down their street. Their puffs of breath create a slight mist of white ahead of them and then quickly dissipates.

Her eyes flit up to Harry’s chiseled jaw and face and she watches him as his eyes carefully and meaningfully take in his surroundings. Was it her turn to take a stab at conversation? It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence but she just wasn’t sure what was going on.

“You play football right?” She says finally as they turn onto the next street that would bring them closer to the café they both frequented.

She remembered seeing him there on several occasions. The tips he left were always overly generous, which she assumed you could do when you were exorbitantly rich. He always smiled when he ordered and knew the baristas by name. His order rarely differed and she hated to admit but she knew his two regulars. His actual “regular” was a 12 ounce black coffee, dark roast, no cream and no sugar. The other, his “I’ll actually have”, was a 16 ounce iced green tea, no cream and no sugar.

She couldn’t help that she was observant and that when ‘H’ was called at the bar she looked at what was pushed out, patiently waiting for him to come snatch it up with a smile and nod to the workers before he left. Sometimes he’d even smile at her over the lid of his drink as he exited the establishment. It was warm and inviting and she felt good about the twinkle in his eye that never seemed to waver no matter the day.

Now they were going there together and she’d have to pretend like she’d never noticed what he got as a drink.

He responds to her question with another glance at her and a simple “yes”. His hands shove into his pockets and one side of his pink lips quirk up. He continues, “I’m on a local team with some mates. We’re in a little competition with our league. The final match is coming up this Sunday actually...You should come.”

He says it so casually it almost doesn’t catch her off guard. Harry inviting her to his football game, maybe this was going to be her life now. Going to her neighbours football match. Going to Harry Styles’ football match.

“Sunday…” She sounds out, choosing to look out into the distance instead of at him. “What time?”

“Eight.”

“P.M. right?” She responds quickly, worried since she never wakes up that early and rarely before 10 a.m. on the weekends for that matter.

“Of course,” he chuckles.

They’ve come upon the café and he’s quick to grab the handle to open the door and let her go before him. She can’t stop the blush and smile that spread on her face as she ducks her head into the warm and cozy shop. Men had opened doors for her before and she really thought of herself as a strong woman who didn’t need a man for anything, but something about Harry’s action felt especially, and specifically, chivalrous. Why, she had no idea.

Neither of them stop to look at the menu. They were regulars and they both knew that about each other as well. He gestures for her to go first and she mutters her thanks before turning to the patiently waiting barista. She orders and is about to hand over her card when Harry suavely steps in and says, “Don’t worry about it. I invited you with me, I’ll pay.”

It was both completely unexpected and expected at the same time. Knowing she’d never win this fight, she thanked him again, glanced at the man taking her order and then stepped aside. Harry orders his own drink and then pays for both. Today he leaves double the amount he usually leaves for tip, she assumes since it’s two drinks he was paying for.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know?” She says quietly to him once they’re in a corner of the café waiting for their drinks.

He stands slightly slumped against the wall, closer to her height right now. He only shrugs, his good natured smile not once leaving his face since he entered this place.

“I wanted to,” he said simply right as the drinks were ready since it wasn’t particularly busy on this random Friday afternoon.

They glance outside and see that it’s begun to drizzle while they’ve been inside. She sighs, having hoped to walk around a little after being inside all day.

Instead, they sit at the corner table in the café, across from each other. She moves on from the paying thing, knowing it was simply how this guy probably operated most of his life.

He got a black coffee today, the cold and rain likely contributing to that choice.

As one pop song fades out, slightly under the sound of the coffee machines, she’s about to tell Harry she’s pretty sure she can make his final football match when ‘Cardigan’ fades in. It’s the second time a Taylor Swift song has been playing while she’s been in the presence of Harry and they were conversing. She tries to ignore one of her favorite songs at the moment. Harry doesn’t seem to pay much mind to it. His foot is tapping against his other, but it’s been tapping like that since they sat down.

“I think I could probably make it to your game,” she says finally after a pause and a sip of her own drink.

Harry grins at the response and launches into how great it will be if they win and how happy everyone will be. She smiles along and doesn’t notice the slight head swaying to the song that she’s begun.

“Fan of Taylor?” Harry inquires and Y/N’s face drops, eyes widening cartoonishly.

She stutters, a nervous laugh leaving her mouth before she can actually say something. How does she respond about liking Taylor Swift to a man who counts her as an ex. She’s at a loss.

“Yeah, uh,” she finally starts.

Harry watches her curiously, obviously noticing her discomfort as his question.

“I used to not really consider myself a fan. I don’t really follow her just because I don’t really follow...um...musicians,” she chokes out the last word realizing Harry fits that category. “But, after folklore, I don’t know, this album really spoke to me. I also really like Lover and...uh” she pauses again, sticking on 1989, an album she has argued with her friends about how it’s basically a tell all of the man before her and Taylor’s relationship.

He nods, hoping she’ll continue. He wanted to get to know her and he kind of liked seeing her squirm. “1989?” He finally supplies.

Her blush isn’t able to be covered this time. If her hair didn’t fall in front of her ears she was sure they’d be flushed with blood.

Then she draws out of her own self stress and looks at the smooth man before her and grows calm. He was amazing at winding her up and she didn’t want to seem like some young, impressionable fangirl to him. So, she squared her shoulders and straightened up in her chair.

“Yes, it was pop perfection as one of my college friends liked to say. I’d always listen to it at the gym.” Then she pauses, taking a measured breath, gaining her confidence back. Her eyes meet his, “Is there any songs off it that you particularly enjoy, Mr. Styles.”

He chuckles, mostly because of her emphasis on ‘Style’.

“Shake it off?” He asks.

“Oh fuck off!” She laughs and he joins in with her.

When they catch their breaths from laughing, they simultaneously take sips of their drinks and settle their eyes back on one another. Exes and songs written about oneself weren’t exactly the topics Harry had in mind for the coffee outing he had asked Y/N out on, but talks of exes had never been this funny with anyone else. He was grateful for her playfulness, her demeanor.

“Can I ask you something personal?” She asks quietly and seriously.

“I think we’re past that question, love,” he responds.

“Yeah, I guess,” she pauses and just about whispers, “Pretty much all of them are about you right?”

He shrugs again, his felt coat rustling around his seat. “We never really talked about every single song.”

She leans forward at the ‘we’ Harry is using about himself and Taylor Swift.

“But when I listen to the songs, I hear us in just about every one but a few.”

“Wow,” she breathes and sips her drink. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lived through something that intense and then someone commemorated in a masterpiece.”

“Do you have a favorite on that album?” He asks, moving on from her revelation.

“I love ‘I know places’, it has a cool sound. But I also really love ‘Wonderland’. They both have kind of dark sounds, yet it still is like what you have is so special that the bad bits are worth it. I don’t know, it just seems like a tv show. I don’t think my life could ever be that crazy or dramatic.” She doesn’t notice her use of ‘you’ because she had meant it as a form of analyzing the song theoretically as she had done hundreds of times with her friends,  but this time the ‘you’ is literally the ‘you’ the song is talking about.

“Love can turn anyone’s life chaotic.” Harry muses.

The green eye’s that flashed at Taylor throughout that album look at Y/N from across the table and she feels a flip in her stomach at his tone.

Maybe he notices her mild discomfort, maybe that’s just who he is. But after a beat, Harry’s onto the next topic on his mind. He launches into how he’s just returned from Scotland for a shoot for something so undercover he can’t even divulge to her, much to his dismay. She’s taken aback since she didn’t consider her someone Harry would divulge any of his private matters to, but it seemed like he already considered her a confidant. Just not for that. He wants it to be a surprise.

She smiles and listens attentively. She wonders as he goes on about his interesting yet absurdly lavish life whether he even knows what regular life is like anymore. Or if he’d even enjoy it if he experienced it.

Sure, coffee and football were plenty part of regular life . But the football league was something novel to Harry. He had just gotten to do it and he was thrilled by its normalcy.

She regarded him carefully, unsure what the next step was in this budding friendship. Was it dangerous to get involved with someone’s life which seemed to be filled with whirlwind rigor and constant change.

She liked her chaos, don’t get her wrong. She felt like she often was the odd one out in life. Always thinking differently than the ones around her. She often was the one to suggest spontaneous late night trips around town or exploration of an abandoned building known for spooky stories. She liked inviting friends over for themed parties for no specific occasions and she liked taking film pictures of friends like they were models even though it was only for her and her memories. She thought of herself as silly and fun, but what Harry described as his chaotic fun actually was regimented tight schedules of constant travel and work. Interesting experiences came out of that constant travel and work, but didn’t seem like something she necessarily wanted to get herself wrapped up in.

After coffee, they leave the café and it’s pouring now. Instead of going home, Harry insists on walking her to her place. She relents, realizing, once again, that Harry wasn’t someone who took ‘no’ for an answer. She then invites him in because it’s the polite thing to do. And Harry being Harry accepts.

“Want a dry sweatshirt while you wait?” She asks as she slips off her wet shoes and jacket in the entryway. Harry follows suit, his knit sweater being pelted with rain for the last eight minutes left him feeling cold and shivery.

He nods as he toes off his shoes and ventures back to the living room she had him wait in a few hours ago.

“Here,” She says as she tosses a grey sweatshirt in his direction. She believes it's her one from earlier, an innocuous pullover with ‘London’ in collegiate lettering on the front. He catches it as she rounds the corner to turn up the heater.

Her mistake was being so careless to not look at the sweatshirt before handing it over to her neighbor. Anyone else, maybe they wouldn’t have questioned it. But Harry, how could he not.

“What’s this?”

“A sweatshirt,” she doesn’t spare him a glance on the coach as she fiddles with the thermostat.

“It’s one of my sweatshirts,” Harry says and she can hear the smile on his face.

“That’s impossible, I’ve never borrowed-” Her brows had raised at what he said but now her words fall short.

He didn’t mean one of his personal sweatshirts that she possibly borrowed if they were better friends. No. He meant his merchandise.

“It was a gift,” she sighs as she turns to face him. He’s now wearing the sweatshirt proudly and grinning up at her smugly.

She rolls her eyes when he gives her a knowing smile.

“I didn’t know that it was the one I was handing you. Honest!”

“I thought you didn’t “keep up” with musicians,” Harry says playfully, his fingers making quotes appropriately.

“I don’t.” Her tone is serious as she plops on the couch beside Harry.

“I enjoy your music from time to time. Is that a crime?!” She finally exclaims when she can’t handle Harry’s knowing smirk.

“No it’s not, you could have just told me you were a fan!” She tries to stop him and protest that she wouldn’t consider herself a fan, but he continues, “I still would have wanted to have been friends.You’re one of the liveliest neighbors I’ve got. Everyone else on the street is rather dull.”

She chuckles, remembering finding out quickly that the street wasn’t a lively bunch.  

“I just wouldn’t say I’m a fan,” she presses and sits across from him.

He continues smiling like he knows the truth.

“I don’t think you’ve met an average person in awhile, Harry.” She finally says after they sat in silence for a few minutes because they were both too stubborn to be the first to talk.

“I would hardly call you average if that’s what you’re implying, Y/N.” He nods her way and he shifts on her plush couch, his legs adjusting themselves on their own accord. “And I know plenty of average people,” he adds huffily.

“I normally wouldn’t either, but compared to who you seem to surround yourself, I very much am. And that’s not meant to be a jab at anyone involved.”

His right hand sneaks up to his head to scratch at the base of a particularly perfect curl. His eyes squint a bit as his mind processes her claim.

“What are you trying to say exactly?”

“I’m just curious to see if you’d actually like me in your life. It seems like you want to be friends with me and that’s great, but realistically I don’t know how much I would fit into it.”

Harry scoffs, “That’s literally bullshit, just relax. I’m so chill you won’t even know what to do with me.”

Now it’s her turn to scoff. “Chill?!” She asks incredulously. Harry nods with a seriousness she hadn’t seen before.

“When’s the next time you’re flying off to another country for work?”

Harry pauses, “Um...the day after the final match. I’m beginning to film a movie, so I’ll be there for a month.”

“Busy bee,” she muses and they both chuckle.

There’s something about the somber look Harry is giving her. His eyes twinkled in the coffee shop and with playful winks she was excited to be in his presence. But after she mentions when his next trip is, he seems saddened. There’s skepticism behind his eyes and maybe he doesn’t like being challenged about who he is from other people, especially those who are new in his life.

But that’s who Y/N is, she’s straightforward and doesn’t lie to someone. If Harry was now her friend, she was going to tell it like it is to him. That personality trait she worried wouldn’t make her long for his world.

“So the cardigan? Do you have it here?” Harry changes the subject, clearly not wanting to actually consider a realistic friendship together instead just charging ahead with no hesitation. Whatever happened they would deal with it as it came. Maybe she should just go with the flow, let herself be swept up into his madness. Maybe it would be easier than fighting it.

“No.”

“Oh?”

“I do, I was joking. Where else would it be?” Her tone is light, trying to get back the shine she had seen Harry exhibit before it had vanished.

Maybe that was Harry’s effect on people. He was vibrant and like an Elton John song. You never wanted that shine to go away, never wanted the song to end. Never wanted him to stop shining his light on you. She felt this happening in just a few hours with him. When he was happy so was she and when he wasn’t entirely shining she wanted to do whatever she could to get it back.

A smile curls on his face and his green eyes narrow slightly. He’s trying to figure her out, know what she’s all about.

“Do you want to go and grab it?” His voice sweetening, almost like a tease. Maybe he means to bite his lip, maybe he doesn’t, but the effect on her is nonetheless earthshaking.

She pops up and smiles back, happy to have made him happy. As she walks out of the room to go get the cardigan that had started this all, her head tilts and she furrows her brow wondering why she felt such a sense of pride just for making him happy.

Would this man cause her to finally put someone else’s wishes ahead of hers?

-

“Are you on your way?”

She listens to Harry’s slightly worried voice crackle over the speaker of her phone as she shuts her door with the hand not holding her phone to her ear. His voice is raspy and muffled. She assumes it’s from the cold air of London at night and the scarf he is likely got wrapped around his neck.

“Yes! Jeez, I’m on my way. Walking over right now.”

It’s the final match for Harry’s football team and if they win the game then they get a trophy and it’s all Harry has been talking about since they got coffee and she handed over her cardigan.

Harry huffed an “alright” on the other side of the line and she called a “see you soon” before hanging up.

He was both eager for Y/N to come and possibly meet some of his teammates and a few of his close friends who he had invited and for her to arrive so that she wasn’t walking out late at night alone. He hadn’t known her for long, but he felt a certain protectiveness over her. She was relatively alone here, only two friends at work that she had mentioned and everyone else lived far away. She said she didn’t mind it, but Harry had a hard time understanding it since he surrounded himself with his friends as much as he could and was constantly either traveling or having them travel to see him.

He had even contemplated inviting her to come to Los Angeles with him for a month, but knew she would remind him of her ever important job that she couldn’t just randomly take a month off.

He’d have to ask her what exactly she did because every time he tried to remember, it always slipped his mind.

When her figure came into sight below the fluorescent lights, he breathed a sigh of relief. A grin spread on his face as she beamed at him and waved a bit. He didn’t understand how she couldn’t see how special she was. Every time he saw her he felt himself straighten up and feel a bubbling in his chest. Her smile was infectious and the way her eyes glittered when she looked away quickly and then returned eye contact made him want to stay in her presence forever.

“You made it!” Harry said and scooped her up in his arms, not realizing just how happy he was to see her, swinging her around in a half circle.

She laughs in surprise, but appreciates the warmth Harry’s hug offers her. She’s not quite sure they had ever touched each other before this moment beside shoulder brushes and hand touches. Nothing so...purposeful.

“I made it,” she confirms and pats him on his broad shoulders.

Questions in her mind raced as she questioned whether it was normal for friendships to happen like this. She knew in college friendships could happen this quickly. And that’s when it dawned on her, she really hadn’t made a new friend since college and that was why everything with Harry was so odd to her. She had forgotten what new friendship was. She needed to stop questioning everything and just live in the moment with a person she really liked being with.

Harry’s hands move from her waist and one stays to lead her forward so he can introduce her to some of his mates, as he had promised.

She felt at home in that moment. His hand on the small of her back, his heat radiating off of him and her hair swept behind her ears and her cheek pressed to his shoulder staring up at him sweetly.

She meets Charlotte, a member of Harry’s band who lives in London, her boyfriend, Mitch (who had just happened to find himself in Hampstead this weekend), Ben, and a few more people she couldn’t remember all the names of.

Harry’s team wins the game and Y/N’s not sure if she’s ever seen someone so happy to win an adult league football match. There wasn’t any official trophy except the one Harry had made himself and said he would even give to the other team if they won. It was engraved with the words “The World’s Greatest Football Team of Stars Ever. October 22, 2020”. It doesn’t even make sense but she’d been holding it for the entire night as he played.

He goes down the line of his friends who have been watching and gives them all jubilant kisses on the lips. When he reaches Y/N she holds out the trophy and he grins and gives her a kiss on the cheek. His lips are surprisingly soft and his scratchy stubble tickles her and she swiftly pulls back, a smile on her face and blush on her cheeks nonetheless.

Charlotte and Mitch share a look between the two of them and Ben’s eyes narrow slightly at the interaction. His eyes narrow just as they had when Harry had strutted over to the group with Y/N before the game. He had happily named everyone and she had shaken all of their hands with a warm smile on her lips. Ben had regarded her warily and she had shaken it off as the chill of the night air. But there it was again, not quite trusting of the neighbour girl Harry had just randomly befriended a few days ago.

The team and the friends of the team decide they deserve to celebrate this win, mostly at the request of Harry.

Y/N tries to find a time to leave, to return to her place so she can prepare for her day at work tomorrow. But no excuses will be heard from Harry and she has a hard time saying no to his sparkling eyes and gorgeous grin that she’s growing far too accustomed to.

She’s ushered down to the closest pub with the rest of them and finds herself chatting with Charlotte’s boyfriend. He’s the most...normal. She’s not sure how to explain it, but he doesn’t seem to be regarding her as different, unlike every other one of Harry’s friends. They were all perfectly nice and cordial with her, but she just felt like she wasn’t a part of their group, their world and she didn’t know how to explain it.

Charlotte and Mitch are rather nice too, but they’re more reserved with her. They’re musicians, like Harry, and they somewhat have that air of awareness around them that Harry sometimes gets. She thinks it’s from the fame, having to constantly be wary of who is around you, what everyone is doing, what is happening next. She doesn’t mind it, it’s just not something she’s used to.

She wishes she could just throw back some drinks and she could allow herself to be more...well just be more. More of a presence, more of herself, but she has a job she has to get to bright and early. Tomorrow was Monday and for her that meant work. So she sips a beer that Harry insisted be on his tab and she makes small talk with Charlotte’s boyfriend about how he’s been helping her produce her first EP. Charlotte occasionally pops in when she hears her name, but mostly is conversing with Mitch over something silly. Y/N knows because they keep laughing.  

Harry is going around to just about everyone in the party and she watches as he happily talks with every one of his friends. He’s ecstatic and she wonders if she’s ever experienced happiness like he has.

At midnight she attempts to make a French exit, as her mother always called it, and slip away with little to no farewells, but Harry spots her before she can.

“You’re leaving already?” Harry asks loudly, the euphoria of winning his silly little game and drinking a fair amount of pints has him at his peak boisterity.

“I have work tomorrow,” she says warily, slumping slightly from the weight of Harry’s arm slinging around her shoulder.

He turns serious and straightens up slightly, his green eyes looking especially dark in the pubs dim lighting as they look her dead in the eye. “Let me walk you home.”

“I can get home by myself,” she laughs, shrugging off his hold. “Plus, the host can’t leave his own celebration.” She gestures to everyone else happily celebrating on a Sunday, somehow not bothered by the beginning of the average week.

He steps closer, his brow furrowing for the first time that night. One of his large hands raises to his tousled hair and he runs it through the tresses. He even nibbles at his lower lip as he contemplates his decision. Then quickly and suddenly, he makes up his mind,

“No, I’ll escort you. Can’t have my neighbour walk home this late alone. I’ll just leave my card with Mitch. He’ll settle up the tab.” He smiles at his perfect plan and she grimaces feeling slightly embarrassed that he would leave his friends to walk her home. “Won’t you Mitch?” Harry calls as he grabs his coat from the wall next to the door. Mitch simply nods and Harry yells his farewells, Y/N waves meekly.

“That was...interesting,” she mulls over her words as they walk through the cold night air outside of the pub.

“Amazing, right?” Harry speaks over her less enthusiastic voice.

“You have a lot of friends,” she mused, trying to sound less disheartened than she had in her last statement.

Harry only hums and shivers slightly from the cold. His breath comes clearly out in puffs in the cold night air. Y/N’s is muffled by her scarf wrapped tightly up to her chin. She’s tucked his face as far into it as possible but her nose won’t stop from freezing as they walk.

Her hand goes up to it and she rests her palm to the tip of it. The motion grabs Harry’s attention and he looks directly at her curiously.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m freezing,” she muffles out, “This helps my cold nose not be so..cold.”

He chuckles and wraps his arm around her shoulder and she easily folds into him, welcoming any warmth right now.

After another moment of silence and them enjoying each other’s warmth and slight smell of whatever perfumes they had chosen earlier that night as well as beer and wood of the pub, Harry nuzzles his head above hers and then asks her something.

“Was that overwhelming for you?”

She’s quiet, thankful his eyes can’t reach hers right now. He was too powerful with those things.

“I, um, a little. I just...I just realized today that I haven’t made a new friend since college outside of work and it was overwhelming just hanging out with you. So all of your friends as well, yeah, it was a bit much for me.”

Harry looks out at the empty street ahead of them and sighs in realization. In his excitement, he hadn’t accounted how she might have felt tonight until just now. He wanted to kick himself for not thinking of her feelings, but other’s feelings slipped his mind so easily sometimes.

They round their street corner and she nuzzles back into his side.

“I’m sorry, love.” He rubs at her outer arm, “I didn’t think about it like that. I was just so excited for my plan to come together. Maybe next time, it’ll just be a couple of them rather than so many?”

“Sure,” she says quickly, wanting to make him happy, knowing how much he cared about his friends. “I feel like we need to hang out more with just you before I osmos into your friend group though if I’m being honest.”

“Well that can definitely be arranged,” he says and reluctantly lets go of her body. They’ve arrived at her door.

“I also want to see the inside of your house at some point.” She tugs at one of his hands before it can disappear into his warm coat pocket. “Houses,” she corrects.

“That can also be arranged,” Harry smiles with his lips closed. Pink lips and rosy cheeks extra bright from the cold. He plays with her fingers as the two stand close to one another, happy for the alone time and chalking the proximity up to heat sharing.

“You leave tomorrow right?” She finally asks.

His head falls and he sighs.

“Yeah…”

“It’s just a month,” she smiles, trying to stop Harry from being so dramatic. Especially when there was no logical reason for him to be so upset over not seeing his neighbour - she keeps telling herself.

“Are you sure you can’t quit your job and just fly out with me?” He pleads.

She throws her head back in laughter and shifts closer to him, her front porch light illuminating and shadowing every perfect place on Harry’s gorgeous face.

“Not even a chance.”

“That is a shame,” he takes an experimental step closer and she feels his breath fan across her cheeks at his last word.

She wrinkles his nose at the smell of his last beer, even though coming from him it was endearing.

Just as she feels him being to shift his head closer, she steps forward and gives him a tight hug.

“Goodnight Harry,” she whispers into his ear, “Safe travels.”

Then she’s stepping back and swiftly unlocking her door. She moves it slowly so as to not wake Rori and then Harry’s left alone and dumbfounded on her doorstep.

He definitely preferred being with her alone, but now he didn’t even have that chance until next month. And nonetheless she had just sidestepped his kiss with such ease he’s not even sure if he meant to kiss her. It had felt right, but why? Because it was cold and picture perfect? Or because he was enchanted by her and liked her as more than a new friend?

She slumps in her kitchen and fixes an Emergen-C to stave off the chill of the night and any germs that might have been lurking around the pub. She hopes when she walks to her bedroom she can check the front porch and see that Harry has gone home because she would hate to turn the light off on him.

How could he have expected her to kiss him just then? They’ve only just met each other a few weeks ago? And he’s Harry Styles and she just lives in the neighbourhood. What the actual fuck had happened to her life?

[fly-flower-fanfics]

I liked the previous one i requested so much I wanted to come to you for my new request. May i request a Spencer Reid x Male/ftm reader (your choice) where the MC has previously long hair and one day he walks to work with a buzz cut? The rest is up to you. And thank you just for reading the ask

Absolutely! I love this honestly. I’ll try and do it justice for you. 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 I’m also sorry it took so long. Things have been hectic lately... I know it’s not a super long fic, but I hope that it’s still worth the wait!

Buzz Off

Spencer Reid x Trans Male Reader

Warnings: Slight transphobia mentioned

~~~~~~~~~

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. Today was the day I was actually doing it. I was actually getting a hair cut. Not that it was a big deal to anyone else, but it was to me, making today a big day.

I had been out as trans for almost fifteen years now, coming out when I was sixteen years old. The team didn’t really know I was trans as I had gotten top surgery and started testosterone by then.

The only ones who knew I was trans was Spencer and Hotch. Spencer knew because I wanted to be honest about my past with him. Hotch knew because I’d had to explain some slight complications in my old information.

However, regardless of all that, I never got rid of my long, almost waist length hair.

I was always holding onto a little piece of my past. My parents had been very transphobic toward me, never allowing me to cut my hair or buy masculine clothing. I had to do everything all by myself once I had moved out. Yet I kept my long hair in an attempt to please my parents even after I changed.

It didn’t work, and they dropped all contact with me. Today, I had finally gotten up the courage to cut my hair as I had always wanted to: a buzz cut. Nothing too dramatic, but dramatic enough to match my personality. And it was long overdue for a change.

I opened my eyes, smiling a bit to myself as I got out of the car and locked it. I hadn’t yet gotten a call from Hotch saying I needed to come in, so I hoped I’d have enough time to get this hair cut.

Once I sat in the chair and the coat-like covering was draped over me, I couldn’t stop smiling. I explained to the hair dresser, Debi, exactly what I wanted, and she was obviously excited for me. That made me feel all the more excited for it myself. I had been going to her for years and for years she had been trying to get me to loosen up and cut my hair.

We had been high school friends, so she knew all about my transition and why I never had cut my hair. But now, she was super excited, hyping me up the whole time.

I kept my eyes closed most of the time, not wanting to spoil the surprise. I was hoping, praying, that it would look good on me. It was hard to focus on the doubts when Debi kept saying how handsome I looked and how Spencer was absolutely going to melt when he saw me.

Spencer and I had been dating for about a year now. He knew of my being trans and how my parents treated me. He never met them, and granted, he didn’t want to. However, he fully supported me not cutting my hair, even though he wasn’t a huge fan of why I wasn’t.

“You’re all set, hun!” Debi exclaimed, putting her razor down. She stood in front of me as I opened up my eyes. “Are you ready?!”

I nodded eagerly, and she stepped aside, allowing me to look in the large mirror in front of me. My jaw dropped as I saw my reflection.

It was perfect.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I reached up to touch the shaved spots. The short hair looked absolutely perfect on me, and I’d be lying if my self esteem didn’t skyrocket because of it.

“Thank you so much, Debi. I love it. I should’ve listened to you sooner.”

She gave me a pointed look, but couldn’t stop herself from smiling as well. “Did I not tell you so?”

At that moment, my phone went off. I checked it, seeing as it was for work. “You did, Debi. But duty calls. Let me pay you so I can get outta here.”

Within three minutes, I was back on the road. I was smiling the whole time I drove. Part of me felt a little guilty for being so giddy since there had been a murder, but I eased my conscience by reminding myself I was giddy over my own personal experiences and the team seeing me, not the murder itself. I only wanted to see the team’s reactions.

I walked into the bullpen, my eyes darting around wildly as I tried to avoid eye contact with everyone. Suddenly, I felt very, very shy, and I was overly aware of the cool air on the back of my neck. Has it always been this cold in here?

“Oh. My. Goodness.” Garcia was the first to notice me. She rushed up to me, a bright smile on her face. “Oh! Look at you!”

Her excited exclamations tugged over JJ and Emily’s attention. Both of them smiled at me.

“Hey, lookin’ good, Y/N,” JJ said. “Suits you.”

“I like it. Different than what I’m used to seeing you with, but it looks really good on you,” Emily said, nodding in approval.

“Thanks, guys,” I replied with a light blush dusting my cheeks.

Derek was the next to come in and notice me. “Hey, hey, hey! Look at you! Gettin’ all snazzy with a new hairdo. New you; I’m digging it.”

I laughed and nudged him with my shoulder as he reached out to fluff what was left of my hair. “Thanks, Derek.”

Hotch came in, took a glance at me, and gave me a small smile and nod. “Ready for work?” It wasn’t much of a reaction, but after working with Hotch for this long, I knew that was his approval. He was proud of me.

All of us got up to go to the conference room when a soft gasp took my attentions way from Hotch and the others.

Spencer was standing behind me, his lips parted in a slight shock. It then turned into a large smile as he walked up to me and took my hands in his.

“You did it,” he mumbled softly, bringing a hand up to my cheek.

“Yeah,” I breathed out softly. “It was time. Long overdue, if I’m being honest.”

He ran his hand up the side of my face, rubbing it over my head. His smile widened, if that was even possible. “God, you look so good.”

My cheeks darkened with a blush. “Yeah. I think I’ll miss the man bun, though. Maybe at a later date, I’ll get it back. But for now? For me? Yeah... I do look good.”

Spencer pulled me into a tight hug, placing a kiss on the top of my head. “I’m so proud of you, Y/N. So proud,” he whispered.

Tears pricked my eyes. It was so satisfying and freeing to let that last but of past me go. To let it disappear forever. To finally be me. I clutched his shirt tightly, reveling in his soft praises.

“Thank you, Spence.”

A throat cleared, and the two of us separated, seeing Hotch standing outside the door of the conference room. He gestured to the file in his hand with his eyes.

“I am very glad you guys had this moment together. It’s a good move for you, too, Y/N. But evil does not wait for a haircut. Please, both of you, join us.”

My entire face heated, and I nodded quickly. “O-of course. Sorry, sir.”

Hotch gave me a small smile before disappearing back into the room.

I took Spencer’s hand. “I guess we better get in there; he is right.”

Spencer gave my hand a small squeeze and pressed another kiss onto my forehead. “He is. Maybe we can celebrate later tonight after the case.”

I laughed a little bit as we walked to the room. “Don’t have so much hope for the ease of this case. You should know better, Spence! You of all people.”

He let out a light laugh. “Perhaps. I’m just really happy for you.”

I took a seat beside him around the table as Penelope began to show the pictures and explained what we knew about the case.

I was happy for me, too.