#yeah it has its flaws and things that are kinda dumb

[moonsfantasyworld]

how i look while seeing someone in a server says the beast yeast update was boring (i genuinly enjoyed it and found it very fun personally but i do agree it could have been executed better)

[arkus-rhapsode]

I guess this is still a controversial opinion in 2023, but… I think Micaiah is a good character. Like yeah I understand there are a lot of newer FE fans who are getting introduced to her through stuff like Engage and Heroes, but if you’ve been around as long as me you know that Micaiah probably was the “love or hate her” character of FE pre Edelgard/Rhea discourse.

I’m probably not gonna sway anyone who has already picked what side they fall on. I’m just gonna give you my opinion as one guy on the internet who has lived through a lot of discourse and what he thinks.

I think there are three primary complaints that people still pull out with her: She’s a Mary Sue, she’s dumb, and she’s a bad unit.

Now look, I’ll give you the bad unit. She’s a lord character that doesn’t have a lord build. She’s a light mage. Now Radiant Dawn is infamous for its difficulty and stat variation, so pairing an interesting idea of a lord who’s not a combative unit is an interesting idea on paper. But in execution it’s just really hard to play. So I get why people don’t like her as a unit.

The Mary Sue argument I’ve never been a fan of however. Yes, she has special healing powers, future sight, and all the apostle powers. But like… That’s kinda just what a lot of FE lord characters get? They get a special weapon only they can use, they have a magic blood that gives them power, they are secretly the descendant of some ultra important person or god and they’re destined for something. Like it’s kinda always just been there with FE lord characters. Hell, even non lord avatar characters like Robin and Byleth are just secretly reincarnations of gods. I think with Micaiah the issue comes in that she’s in the same game as Ike. Who was bucking the trend as a playable character that wasn’t a lord, wasn’t magically destined for anything, and isn’t secretly a child of some Uber royal. So Micaiah does feel like an oddity, but I’d argue this does create an interesting conflict of a traditional MC vs a non traditional one.

And finally the “she’s dumb” argument. So I understand that games are an interactive medium. And people value being able to make their own choices. But in the intersection of narrative and gameplay focused games, there are characters and events we don’t have control of. Micaiah makes a choice to liberate her homeland but doesn’t want to be its ruler. When Pelleas the son of Ashnard comes along and seems like a good guy, she gives it to him. This makes sense from Micaiah’s perspective-despite loving her country she doesn’t want to rule it. So when a seemingly good individual with recognized lineage comes in, she’s willing to give it up. But we the audience can see this is flawed, Sothe in game mentions this. And ultimately Micaiah’s choice is what brings Daein under Begnion. Where now she has to do things she doesn’t like in a desperate war.

I feel like in media there’s a criticism of “why don’t these characters do the logical thing that I would’ve done in this situation.” And I think games as an interactive medium enhance that as they want to make their own choices. But in a narrative a character doesn’t always need to make logical sense. A character can exist independent of what the player wants and takes actions that the viewer may disagree with. But an action a character takes that they may disagree with isn’t inherently a sign of bad writing. I personally believe that if it makes sense for the character within the context of the story, they are capable of making mistakes. And often times these flaws are what facilitates character development/introspection.

So when Micaiah makes her choice to not be ruler, it makes sense from the perspective of someone not interested in ruling. However, her choice has consequences, ultimately forcing her to do more of the things she was trying to avoid. And even if Pelleas lives or dies, Micaiah by the end of the story is now queen out of obligation rather than personal interest. The game at least seems self aware of audience would react to a flawed decision by having Sothe be the voice of obvious concern. But let’s for a moment think if she did the logical thing. Had Micaiah just held onto power at first and did nothing, there really wouldn’t be a plot for Daein or a journey for Micaiah. And it probably be a much more dull story.

Characters are allowed to be flawed and make mistakes. Make choices we don’t personally agree with. But the important thing is that flawed actions have actual consequences to them. And basically all of Daein suffering from someone who made a bad choice and is now living through it and ultimately has to rise to the position that she denied in the first place is a suitable consequence.

I think actual bad choices in narratives tend to be actions that have no real conflict as the plot needs to bend to make that choice make sense or justify a bad choice. Rather than an action having a tangible consequence that needs to be dealt with internally or externally.

So yes, Micaiah made a dumb call in Radiant Dawn. And it led to an interesting story and character development.

Now I do have issues with Micaiah: I don’t like that Yune ultimately takes over for most of part 4. I don’t like that there are no supports in RD so I had to wait till Engage to see how she may feel about certain characters. Yes, I think that she is ultimately eclipsed by the true MC of the game Ike. And yes, I don’t like her future sight. I have never liked precognition as a storytelling concept. I’m just not a fan of its inclusion.

That said, I don’t dislike Micaiah. I do actually find her an interesting character who was allowed to be flawed and not fall into the newer FE game trap of trying make her more likeable/actually secretly in the right the whole time. And maybe it’s weird that something like this discourse is still kinda around. But with stuff like Engage and talks FE4 reboot and just a general Tellius conversation still existing I felt like I might as well say where I stand on who used to be the most controversial FE character.

[eternalera]

Some problems i had with the finale in hazbin hotel

now before i start i just wanna say that i absolutely love and adore this show with all of my heart but with that being said i can still recognize its flaws and god does it have some

🌟

lets get one of the most obvious things out of the way first. charlie did literally nothing. she hit adam once or twice and he beat the shti out of her which was just a dumb excuse to have lucifer show up nad beat the shit out of him.

but more on that later. charlie is the main character and she only gets the motivation to go full 'god mode' when sir pentious dies? even then she didnt do anything. dazzle ends up dying but oh well its fine (or razzle i cant remember). she stabs adam once and even then he beats her up more than anything. hes powerful yes but charlie couldve put up more of a fight

she even has a song in episode 7 about taking charge but honestly... she doesnt really do that. actually sir pentious had a better arc than her and we hardly see him throughout the entire show

🌟

sir pentious' death was fine we see him gearing up and it was kinda leading onto the big scene where he would take on adam but...

bro got obliterated in less than like a second and then adam made a joke off of it. tbh at this moment i started laughing so hard because goddamn was it hilarious but then you have charlie and the hotel mourning it like not even five seconds after- like half a second after the joke.

the tonal whiplash of that scene was just... ugh-

like i didnt care about it being serious because guess what? im already laughing at the joke like everything that i cared for about him just thrown into the gutter because guess what? haha funny :)

but for that to be what makes charlie go into her full form still makes me mad- ugh

🌟

adams death was fine. he was killed by nifty so like- okay i guess. honestly i didnt really care for it. it was funny but then ONCE AGAIN you have lute cry over him and actually i cared more for that than nifty-

but its just like- nifty?

dont get me wrong its funny asf but... nifty? they treated both of what was meant to be serious deaths in this show as a goddamn joke and expect me to not call them out on it? like okay nifty shes a funny character but her killing adam just made me go though 3 different stages in the span of like- five seconds

bro just got stabbed wait what-

omg its nifty thats kinda funny

actually i dont really care for nifty so wtf-

like huh?

the death just kinda felt like... nothing to me. like i get thats its funny misogynistic asshole gets stabbed by crazy straight small bug woman. but i didnt really care for it. nfitys fine but i dont care about her enough for me to laugh out loud at this moment

🌟

lucifer's entrance was horrible. bro can open portals, he knew what they were doing, he knew what was coming yet he comes in like- halfway through the fight only when charlie's getting hurt

all im sayin is that if he was in it at the start the final episode wouldve been like half the amount of time it actually was...

oh yeah and pentious would be alive, but no they needed him to die to show that the hotel works so why not just hold him off.

im sorry but lucifer stole all of charlies glamour in this scene like charlie was getting choked after hitting adam once and then boom. daddy to the rescue ig

like are you kidding me? at least make it fucking vaggie or smth. not lucifer and why was he late? we've pretty much established that man doesnt do shit so like-

its fucking pointless it a quick and pretty damn cheesy ending. if he wasnt there at the start we dont need him at the end. or at least have him arrive earlier not at a convenient ass time

🌟

going back to the fact that NOT A SINGLE DEATH WAS TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

i know that sir pentious was coming back so its fine to make it a joke but like adam? bro thats your main villain right there. a show is only as good as its villain and honestly his death just wasnt satisfying (as i mentioned before)

like seriously wtf?

🌟

this all being said though i really enjoyed this show with my whole heart and i do love it and some of the things that it did. the fact that this show even got out is a goddamn miracle <3

[soleminisanction]

Sorry if this is weird ask to get but I just wanted to say that I actually like steph a lot more after reading your critical posts about her lol XD like.. at first I just thought she was the most boring character alive, just a basic blonde like so many others in dc, easily replaceable and I didn’t really understand her appeal. But then I read your critical posts and I was like :0 I’ve been fed a boring fanonized version of steph all along!! She has an actual personality! Incredible! A bad personality but still lmao :p at least it’s there! and I really love villainous/morally bad characters so it’s been fun to just kinda indulge in reading your posts and getting to know steph’s darker side which I really like, I wish less people would straight out ignore/deny or downplay her bad aspects because I find them so so so much more interesting than the stereotypical quirky teen hero trope she’s been shoehorned into as of late. Also wish ppl would stop acting so fragile around her character like I know she was the center of a huge sexist scandal in comics a few years ago but it feels like everyone is stepping on eggshells in regards to even slightly critiquing her character in fandom spaces lol, I mean sexism is still alive and well in comics sphere but how does critiquing steph harm that discussion in any way yknow?

Well that's a delight to hear. 😆 Sincerely, thank you! My point exactly! You've put it all very well! Modern fanonized quirky-girl Steph is really boring and it's a waste of potential, and that's frustrating.

And keep in mind, that huge sexist scandal that defines her entire character and that people still use to defend treating her with kids' gloves to this day? It happened TWO DECADES AGO. 2023 is its twentieth anniversary and it's STILL the only thing she's actually known for outside of her niche fandom, aside from being Tim Drake's designated beard. And it's not like every other woman in comics doesn't have a moment (or two, or dozens) like that somewhere in their history.

It's just... yeah, like you said, it's frustrating and dumb that people are so delicate with her that they stifle all the potential she could have to be a really interesting, complex and flawed character. I'm glad you took away that point from my ramblings, it's exactly what I was going for. 😊

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

Before we begin as always: This is all for fun and is not meant to be taken to seriously everyone please be nice or at least civil. Okay? Awesome read on!

Alrighty I'm feeling a little irritated after a not so lovely comment on one of my fics (that has literally NOTHING to do with Jay) about how I don't often write about him if at all. Now I just kinda ignored the comment cause this was the same person who said I couldn't ship Zane with human characters cause he's a robot to say the least I took what they said with a grain of salt so yeahhhhhh (like seriously I had to mention that cause it's just such a weird thing to say since Ninjago has said multiple times that Zane is just as human as the others so???)

But anyways I want to start by saying yeah that's true I don't write about Jay very often, in fact I have never written a fic centered around him BUT I will never go out of my way to vilify him outside of the actions he takes IN CANNON because I try to stay in character when writing unless it's an AU that might shift their personalities a bit but not by much. But this brings me to an issue I've come across more than once and it sort of bothers me and its: the erasure of Jay's more negative qualities.

Now I'm not saying that Jay is an irredeemable villain here I'm just saying that he has said/done things that aren't good that a lot of people seem very keen on just ignoring or in some cases outright denying, and I get it it sucks when our favorite characters are flawed trust me my favorite character is GARMADON so I have plenty of experience in liking characters with flaws lol. BUT just because we like them doesn't mean they don't HAVE those flaws.

Like Jay (since he's who we're suppose to be focusing on rn) is kind of an ass multiple times especially early in the series. Now I hate the love triangle because it fucked up literally all people involved and I found it super annoying but I think Jay was painted in a particularly bad light. For example Jay straight up attacking Cole even though Cole had ZERO clue about the whole perfect match thing, like imagine if out of no where your best friend ATTACKED YOU saying you were trying to "steal" (I hate that phrase btw so dumb cause Nya's a person) the person they liked? Probably would feel really crummy.

Now I do understand that Jay probably has some form of anxiety but that doesn't mitigate the fact throughout the series Jay has a tendency to get freaked out and then lose his temper, in more recent seasons it's happened less frequently which I'm going to chose to interpret as him growing up but is likely just because in later season the writing tends to muddy the waters on most characters (we don't even talk about crystalized because it doesn't exist, like seriously Lloyd talks about Harumi in Dragons Rising like Crystalized never happened which I'm a big fan of) but yeah. I've never been a huge Jay fan myself but his cannon character is interesting and I'd understand why people would like him since again he's not an irredeemable monster he's a person.

But yeah, I love Ninjago and I love being a part of the fandom but I don't love how sometimes people overlook the charcters negative traits and that really bothers me since more than one of the characters go through arcs (some more subtle than others) to become better people. Like I also think people underplay Nya's anger issues, Kai's can be as well but to a lesser extent SOMETIMES, which is unfortunate because that's part of their arcs of growing into new more mature people. All of the characters have their problems it's what makes them interesting to follow, I'm a huge fan of Garmadon and he is EXTREMLY flawed but that's what makes him an interesting character especially since he's trying to be better (again lol).

In conclusion I love over analyzing this Lego show cause even if its shit sometimes the characters it created are super fun to play with much like actual Legos! I don't hate any characters (except for Nadakahn and The Mechanic fuck those two they're creepy as shit) I love getting to talk about them and am totally open for conversations about them because as you can tell from this post I am a natural born yapper and I love to hear other peoples thoughts/views so feel free to say something as long as you're willing to keep it civil!

I hope y'all have a great day/night PEACE OUT!

[pansy-picnics]

HE'S BEEN GASLIGHTED, HE LOVES LANCE NOW. I WOULD NEVER FAIL HIM

LANCE IS A COMPLICATED CHARACTER JUST LIKE EUGENE AND I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK ABOUT HIS DYNAMICS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS LIKE ANGRY AND CATALINA BECAUSE OMG I CANNOT THINK OF A CARTOON THAT WROTE ABOUT A PROBABLY QUEER BLACK MAN ADOPTING AN ASIAN DAUGHTER AND A DAUGHTER THAT'S. WHATEVER TEH FUCK CATALINA HAS GOING ON. BUT HE'S SO SPECIAL??? HE'S AMAZING??? ALSO THE FACT THAT TEENAGERS ARE VERY RARELY ADOPTED AND HE SAID FUCK THIS AND TOOK THEM IN ANYWAYS BECAUSE HE REMEMBERS BEING A TEENAGER ON HIS OWN TOO

LITERALLYYLYKYLYKY OH MY GOD???? NO BECAUSE. no bc kiera and catalina parallel lance and eugene as kids almost EXACTLY imo and its SO important in a sense that like. ok i don’t think the rise of flynnigan rider is canon necessarily bc that book was a mess but lance and eugene’s interactions in it are so GOOD it drives me crazy.

basically lance at that age (like 11-12) is portrayed as a kinda shy and anxious kid who tends to keep to himself but is really nerdy and smart and well aware of his surroundings. he’s still a kid and he can be dumb and impulsive but he’s emotional and clings to people who show him affection. eugene’s the opposite, he’s super charismatic and talks his way out of things easily but he never really thinks before he acts and it gets him into trouble really easily. but together they balance each other out, and eugene is super protective of lance bc he knows he’s the more shy and cautious one.

they’re such a good team bc they balance out each others strengths and weaknesses perfectly. but lance actually has a point where he felt betrayed by eugene and it hit so hard despite the plot being so messy. LIKE HE GENUINELY TOLD HIM OFF AND STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF AND IT WAS SO GOOD?? and then theres the whole alleged scrapped lance and eugene backstory episode which might not even be real but its CANON TO ME EVEN IF ITS NOT BC THATS HOW GOOD IT IS. yk the one where eugene almost got adopted and lance was afraid of being left behind so he broke a window and blamed it on eugene so the couple wouldn’t want him anymore? Yeah. Yeah i think about that a normal amount actually!

AND ITS BC. ITS THE SAME DYNAMIC KIERA AND CATALINA HAVE. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT. AND I THINK ITS CLEAR THAT THE REASON LANCE CHANGED SO MUCH FROM THAT POINT TO WHEN WE SEE HIM IN THE SERIES IS BECAUSE…. EUGENE WASN’T THERE ANYMORE. THINK ABT IT. THEY BOTH BALANCED OUT EACH OTHERS FLAWS. LANCE WAS SHY AND CAUTIOUS BUT EUGENE WAS RECKLESS AND CHARISMATIC. WHEN THEY GOT SEPARATED LANCE HAD TO TAKE ON A SIMILAR PERSONA BECAUSE THE SHY KID HE USED TO BE WOULD BE KILLED IF HE GOT LEFT ON HIS OWN!!!

LANCE SAW HIM AND EUGENE IN KIERA AND CATALINA. THE QUIET AND CAUTIOUS BUT CALCULATED ONE WHO’S ALSO A LITTLE SHIT AND THE RECKLESS AND CHARISMATIC PROTECTIVE ONE. HE SAW THEM TOGETHER AND HE REMEMBERED WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM AND EUGENE. HOW THEY GOT TORN APART. AND HOW HE HAD TO CHANGE HIMSELF TO SURVIVE. HE TOOK THEM IN BECAUSE HE KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM TOO.

Godddd I’M SO. there are so many traits and little details abt him that just got passed off as jokes or one liners in the series but they SHOULDN’T BE. GODDD HES A CHEF. HE LOVES FOOD AND COOKING HES A THEATER KID!! HE LOVES LITERATURE AND HE LOVES MUSIC!!! I THINK HE LOVES THEATER AND DOESN’T FEEL AS AFRAID IN THAT SENSE BECAUSE HE TRULY FEELS LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON ON STAGE. ITS WHY HE DOESN’T LIKE SINGING AS HIMSELF BUT HE’D ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN A PLAY.

and god it annoys me so much bc whenever anyone DOES talk about how lance got done dirty in the series nobody actually brings up WHY….. i love this series too but we cant just sweep the issue under the rug. theres a reason they only played him for comedic relief and made him look childish and stupid IT’S RIGHT THERE ITS BECAUSE HES BLACK. AND YES WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. I LOVE THAT THEY HAD HIM ADOPT THE GIRLS IN THE END AND IT WAS SO SWEET BUT HE WAS STILL THE BLACK BEST FRIEND TROPE AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER!!!

HE LITERALLY JUST HAS ADHD AND NOT TO MENTION THE FANDOM ALWAYS ACTS LIKE EUGENE IS THE STRAIGHT MAN OF THE DUO WHEN THEY’RE BOTH EQUALLY DUMB AND SILLY??? AND THEY BOTH SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BE SILLY. people always talk about lance getting into varian’s stuff even though EUGENE DOES THE SAME THING AND HE’S JUST AS BAD. AND YALL AREN’T CALLING HIM IMMATURE. ITS RACIALLY MOTIVATED!!! AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!

he’s not stupid in fact i genuinely think he’s the most emotionally mature out of the entire cast. i think he came to the orphanage as a young child rather than from birth and he had a mom who he loved very much and who taught him to manage his emotions well and bc of it he’s very in tune with himself!! and he’s very much the dad friend!!! he’s just a silly guy and he wants to make his friends laugh but sometimes he ends up sacrificing himself for others too much!!! and he needs to care about himself too!!!

God i just. I GET SO INSANE ABOUT HIM HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. GTRRRRAAASGHHGHHHHH.

[aroninshonour]

Hello!! :)

Could you do 🐍(fav kind of serpentine), 💎 (fave realm) and 📺(fave season and why) for the ninjago ask game? Thank you :D

Fhskfjqkfjej YESS !!

Okok so my fav kind of serpentine is definitely the Constricti, I think they are so cool and and and I love the blacks and the oranges and the grays and dhfkwjtkwjtjektje (I have a thing for like. The ground. Or like. Earth themes I guess)

My favorite Realm is definitely the Departed Realm, idk it just kinda...draws me in, in a way- yk? Like, uhm- ghosts and the death that surrounds it is interesting to me I suppose. It's ghosts have a ton of different stories too, and I like to imagine that the Departed realm can be exactly what a ghost wants it to be, at least in that ghosts view of it, if ykwim?

Controversial opinion, but it's Skybound. It's kinda always been my favorite season, even with the addition of other seasons after it.

Skybound, to me at least, gives the characters development that they needed, even if it's pretty much ignored after the season.

Jay, making the mistakes he does in the beginning, is able to learn from them and makes himself better about it by the end.

Nya is able to express how she feels about, well, everything. How she's always been defined by someone else, how she's just considered the 'girl ninja'. Her and Jay getting to have that talk is something really special that I think will always hold something special too it.

Nadakhan, although I hope he dies horrid painful deaths an infinate amount of times over, was an absolutely amazing villian. He did everything wrong in the right way. He was legit just an amazing villian, the trickery, the hostages, his demands, torture, the way he *knew* how to break someone, the control he has over basically everything is terrifying. All the way to the end he was a great bad guy, he had everything under control...until he didn't. Until he let his guard down after he got his infinite wishes. I could go on for hours talking about him but I'm not going too-)

This season we got reveals about Jay and his parents, we got a team up we never thought would happen, we got characters too (ECHOECHOECHOECHO) I dunno it just did so many things right. Although I don't like that they randomly made Dareth sexist- that was dumb -

So yes, Skybound has a ton of things wrong with it, but it also has so much to love about it, at least it does to me. (So do the other seasons but this ain't about them)

And the last wish Jay made, I know tons of people hate that because the show just ignored all the character development and all, but honestly I don't know what else he could've done. If he hadn't made that wish, and he chose to make it so Nadakhan wasn't a dijjn, then Nya would've died(No one wants that. I hope...) and Lloyd probably would've continued to get older because the wish was never actually reversed(Unless Nadakhans magic being gone reverses it but idk...)

So yeah, Skybound has its flaws and it's got it's good bits, But I love it regardless. (Prime Empire is second by the way...damn my favs are all Jay and Nya suffering...crazy)

Oh and also I think they should've waited a season or two before putting Nya and Jay together again, maybe could've gave them a little recovery arc and then putting them together......but they didn't which is sad but ykw whatever it's fineeeeeeeeee...I guess

[its-wabby-stuff]

those are all so interesting! sho chasing him around the world bc the writers did say yoshi became cosmopolitan during his fame, is so funny and kinda sad. yeah, i'm pretty sure its canon that sho and yoshi were the last hamato bc in end game, foot lt says yoshi is the "last descendant". i hc that yoshi has struggled with depressive disorder since his mom left. being told he had to save the world and all his plans being overun by his hamato destiny did not help. but sho (in typical asian fashion) was like "depression isn't real, get a hold of yourself" (sho was also depressed bc of atsuko's death but he was in denial). big mama soothed it during the time yoshi dated her but then obvi, his depression came back 100x worse during his captivity and stayed quite severe to this day (being a mutant really sucks also how is he supposed to be a dad when he never had a dad really???)

yes! share you big mama hcs 😁 did you know she was with yoshi for 11 years (probably)?? in many unhappy returns, it says they met in 1984 and the writers said she kidnapped him around 1995. i feel bad for yoshi bro (I still love big mama tho) i know fans want her to have a fake human name but i think it's funnier (it's also canon) that she just went by big mama bc yoshi didn't care that she was purple and had yellow eyes and ate bugs and talked weird af so why would he care about her odd name?

I definitely agree with the depressive disorder, as someone who also has on and off depression. I also think he has AuDHD which could be part of why he did bad in school. I also agree that Sho didn’t see them as real problems, which I think is part of the reason Splinter is so cut off when it comes to talking about his feelings, or opening up in the slightest.

I think his depression got a lot worse sometime after the overtaking parts of parenthood were over and the boys started becoming a lot more independent and self-sufficient. Then he like crashed from the last, basically 45+ years of his life.

I’m still trying to figure out how such a loud and proud personality didn’t tell his sons about his days in the sun. I can only think it has something to do with his mother leaving, or him trying to forget. Also can’t figure why he changed his name to Splinter of all things. It was probably the boys fault- somehow, or possibly just poetic. New life, new name.

Tbh, Big Mama and Lou Jitsu, despite all their flaws, are my favorite couple. They’ve spent like half their lives together. I think Big Mama is a younger Yokai, perhaps only a couple years older than Yoshi himself. This is opposed to Draxum who I think is well over 200. I think she has commitment issues, but her and Yoshi bonded over their drive to create something spledifirous. I think she spent her time on the surface being a rebel, just like Lou, hiding away from some like rich Yokai family who wanted her to inherit the family business (their chain of hotels). Just another reason to bond.

This one’s silly, and I kinda stole it from someone else on the webs, but I think Big Mama and Lou Jitsu both got really into the renaissance while they were dating. Hence Splinters names for his son being the splinters of their relationship. Haha.

I think the battle nexus is relatively new and was started with Lou Jitsus kidnapping. It just got a lot of attention. And with her champion, a lot of other Yokai joined to get a chance at beating up the human, which backfired for them.

After a couple years of fighting, and winning, I think Big Mama laxed up on her rules. They were still kinda dating and would spend time together and tour the Hidden City and such (cause how else does he know so much?). Up until the last year, before the boys, when he once again requested more from Big Mama and wanted to stop fighting, so he wound up back in his cell. He declared he was a pacifist so he wouldn’t have to fight anymore, cause he knows she’s tricky but he’s still a little too dumb to figure things out.

Because I think the battle nexus is new, I also think her going back to the hidden city to take over the family hotels must have some cause and effect. So I think a family member died, which caused her to flip out like she did when asked to marry. That and her commitment issues (which also cause her to change the deals at the last second). And allowed Lou to “forgive” her when the “got back together.” He clearly still has resentment, but not to the point of hatred (cause they still got that chemistry in the show). They might be a little perfect for each other. 🙂‍↕️

If Big Mama was going to have any other name, which I’m fine with her name being what it is but it feels much more like a title, or perhaps originated as a pet name from Lou, than an actual name; I would think it’d be Tang Shen. Only cause other tmnt iterations have Yoshis ex wife be named that, but I think it’s fitting as well. Understandably, I get why she might keep it hidden and a secret, because, just like Lou, wearing masks is sometimes easier than facing the truth.

[rocky-the-rockstar]

1. 3. 5. 8. 11. 17. 19. 20. 21. 23. Gingerstorm NOW

JESUS SO MANY THANK YOU :0

1. What memory would he rather just forget

I can't tell you that because it hasn't happened yet :)

3. Fatal flaw and is he aware of it

Feels some emotions so intensely that they become irrational, and others almost not at all. For example he has a hard time feeling and expressing empathy and remorse for strangers or acquaintances and by extension has trouble forming close bonds (his whole life not just during the apocalypse). But he experiences anger, jealousy, and pride to such an extent that they cloud his judgement. He also by default is so self loathing and insecure that any sense of pride ego or accomplishment is addicting. This can cause him to pretend to be overly confident to a point where he comes off as a dick or just full on put himself in danger by being overly cocky for the sake of adrenaline.

He's????? Somewhat aware of this. I believe denial may be the word 💀

5. How far is he willing to go to get what he wants

Mehhhhhhhhhh this could potentially be spoilery?!?!????? And it really depends on the specific situation. He has low empathy and a wacked up sense of morals but he's generally a good person. Things like theft and lying to strangers are on the table no question even before the apocalypse but it would take soooo much to get him to do anything drastic. However its easy to get under his skin and manipulate him due to how intensely he feels negative emotions and praise, and its probably easy to break down and brainwash him *cough cough* but you didn't hear that from me :3

8. Would he ostensibly be able to get away with murder

I really don't think so 😭 first of all I'm not convinced he COULD kill a person, but like if he WERE to kill some non-infected person?? You know how Raskolnikov would get so anxious when he heard discussion of the murder that he got physically ill and would pass out?? And would get so scared of being caught that he would just impulsively confess?? Yeah. That's this bitch. Painfully obvious, which is extra funny cuz he isn't even a bad liar by any means, he's just dumb and guilty. Bonus points tho if no one suspects him despite it all for some reason, just because I think that's hilarious.

11. Weapon of choice, has he actually used it

His taser is his favorite but it's not all that effective against zombies, it's mostly for non fatal defense against other survivors or animals, so he doesn't use it all that much. His other two weapons are a crossbow and a crowbar, he uses both a lot obviously.

17. What's the worst thing he's been put through story wise

You silly goose that would be spoilers

19. How does he act when enraged

Ok well Gingerstorm is Anger Issues Central for starters. He's very quick to anger and an explosive type, throws and hits things, yells a lot. If really angry he'd probably just go outside and smash things till he feels better. Afterwards he's very "lmao ok so anyways-" He would never ever physically take his anger out on Greenstripe or the cats, Greenstripe would have to do something that crossed a huge line to Gingerstorm personally in order for him to hit him and even then I don't think he could. However there have been times where he slipped up and yelled at him, which he immediately apologizes profusely for, but even that is a rare occasion. While he's not good at controlling his anger in general, he's pretty good at not taking it out on those he loves.

20. Does he have a tendency to get jealous and if so how does it manifest

UH YEAH. How it manifests depends on the type of jealousy. When it comes to something like thinking someone he's close with likes someone else better than him, he's irrationally easy to set off. Like the slightest shift in vibe has him rethinking his entire worth to that person. This he feels the most intensely but tends to bottle up and and just kinda self loath in silence. He may get more clingy and affectionate or completely shut himself out for the sake of "not bothering" the other person since they "don't want him", it's kinda a 50/50 shot as to which he'll do. Either way he's just being dumb and it doesn't take much at all to reassure him, a little bit of affection and a few kind words and he's like "oh lol I was just being dramatic, anyways"

Now jealousy as in like "this person has something that I want" he doesn't usually care that much, like he's jealous but not enough to do anything about it.

If he's jealous of a specific person because like? He sees them as the embodiment of what he wishes he was, or he feels like they're replacing him (wether this be in a relationship or just like "hey that's MY thing you're stealing my vibe") he'll hate their guts. Probably irrationally, but he'll be the most petty mf.

21. Does he have any illnesses or disorders and how does he handle them (TW for mental illness talk and brief mention of suicide)

Chronic joint pain 😔 it's manageable most days but there's days where he can barely do anything. He pushes himself to the limits all the time but there are days where he may need help walking, and he feels stupid for so and apologizes a lot to whoever is helping him (literally who would it be other than Greenstripe 😭) he also denies to rest a lot but Greenstripe would probably force him once he starts going "ow ow fuck ow" every five seconds.

Mental - bro for sure ADHD, aspd, depression, anxiety, suicide ideation, symptoms of psychosis, and dissociation/derealization issues. He may also have bpd but there's no psychiatrists in the apocalypse who knows [shrug] just know he displays most of the symptoms. A lot of it is caused or amplified by the apocalypse, but he wasn't exactly ok beforehand either

He has a generally "fuck it we ball" mindset about most of it and will even deny that he's not ok. Again, it's the apocalypse???? Yeah he's gonna be kinda fucked up???? He finds it manageable, but when things DO get really bad they may result in some weak half hearted attempt to take himself out but he feels too much guilt towards the idea of leaving his friend and cats behind in a literal apocalypse to commit to it. He just lets himself get busted up a bit and then goes home like nothing happened.

All that being said he's much easier to keep happy and healthy than he is to actually spiral since he finds a lot of joy in the simplest pleasures, he just has this underlying "dawg I hate myself and am scared all the time" mentality that came free with the zombies. He's also a clown around so that I can avoid reality kinda guy

23. What emotion is the hardest for him to process. How about express

Process - grief, sadness, loneliness, helplessness, pain in general

Express - sadness, helplessness, frustration, love (in a coherent way, he's very affectionate and babbles "I love you"s a lot but is a mess if he tries to put it in words beyond that), overall VERY bad at putting his emotions into words and intentionally acts like a loud fool to avoid them

[strangefellows]

okay, tbh i’ve talked about it a bunch already today so it might as well get its own post even if no one reads it XD

so yeah like....gil and emiya and cu’s weird friendship is something i just love so much???

like, they all have that connection to each other from the Fifth Grail War, but yeah also they just...still hang out? even when they all kinda have reason to want to stab each other a little (a lot)? it’s really stupid cute.

but thinking about it, like...it’s so sweet for all THREE of them, if you look at it from each of their povs

for cu’s pov, he’s had a hell of a life, yknow? live fast die young heroes are like shooting stars, all that, but also he had to kill his best friend and accidentally killed his son, and not to mention just....All That Shit in general. he probably didn’t really have too many people that could keep up with him, no one who equaled him - not even fergus, who is also a heroic spirit, could keep up with him in life. and now in death, here’s these two dumb bitches who ABSOLUTELY can keep up with him. and even if he resents how emiya feels about being a hero (valid) and gil definitely annoys the shit out of him...they’re his equals. they can keep up with him. he can fight them on the same ground. and even if emiya’s opinions on heroism differ wildly, he still GETS IT to have those opinions. it’s just for him i’m sure nice to hang out with these two jackasses who absolutely understand him in some ways no one else can. and they’re just damn fun to be around sometimes, too, it’s nice.

for emiya’s pov, if cu’s had a hell of a life emiya’s has been WORSE LMAO. he’s traumatized, jaded, a fucked up mess and even though in fgo he’s more chill about things and less suicidal, he’s still a fucked up mess. and even if he kinda wants to kick the blue idiot and the gold idiot in the TEETH repeatedly, they won’t leave him alone. and in a way that’s...nice. he doesn’t remember anything from being shirou all that well, so even if he knows from watching shirou in ubw he had friends and classmates etc, he doesn’t remember personally-- and then he lived what was like, centuries completely alone doing alaya’s dirty work. it was probably really lonely. and even if these assholes won’t leave him alone, that means he’s NOT alone. and they do get it. cu was a hero who died young and glorious and even if he’s proud of that in some ways, he also understands very well how hard it is. and gil’s a douchebag, but he’s DEFINITELY a lot more tolerable in fgo lbr, and it’s not like they can’t be civil and don’t have some things (loneliness, a tie to alaya, liking kids) in common. it’s nice to not be alone and have people who get it, even if those two people are ABSOLUTE FUCKING JACKASSES

and for gil’s pov....well, he’s not human, he’s lonely, he’s apart from everything and he stands alone and he KNOWS it. and then there’s everything he always says about only ever having one friend, enkidu. who’s dead. so yeah he’d probably never figure it out if it hit him in the face, but he probably really subconsciously appreciates emiya and cu being around to bully and the fact they put up with him. they’re closer to his equals, a demigod hero apart from the world who also lost his best friend (who was also harassed by a horny queen) and a lonely chosen hero of alaya who ended up apart from the world whether he wanted to or not. they PUT UP WITH HIM, which i think is something very rare and out of his expectations for a lot of people given he’s probably well aware of his own flaws. they both have held their own in fights against him, and that’s def a gil litmus test for how well he’ll tolerate you. they get it! and they put up with him, and as a very lonely person despite what he says, he’s got to really appreciate that too, he’d never think the word ‘friend’ but he has to appreciate these two who hang around him and tolerate him 

they have a great dynamic and i love them and they’re three stupid lonely idiots traumatized in different ways that hang out together even if they fight all the time because they quietly love the fact that they have the other two to spend time with, because they get it.

[kevincow]

My top 10 games of 2022

1) Splatoon 3

I usually don't do well with online shooters. I tried the first two Splatoons and had to put them down because I just got too frustrated. After trying the Testfire and giving up after two matches, I thought this game would be the same, and didn't think I'd even get it.

But I did, for some reason. And somehow, it clicked with me this time. It quickly became my most played game of the year. I still have to put it down occasionally if I go on a particularly bad losing streak, but having Salmon Run always available helps keep me coming back even when I'm not feeling like PvP.

2) Pokemon Legends Arceus/Scarlet & Violet

I can't really justify giving Pokemon two spots here - especially games with such glaring flaws - but I also can't choose just one of them because they both have ways they're better than the other. The action RPG stuff in Legends was great, but so was the open world of S/V. Legends wasn't nearly as much of a technical disaster, but I thought S/V had a more interesting story and characters. Legends had cool boss fights, but S/V actually had a whole selection of new Pokemon and not just a handful of regional variants. The Pokedex in Legends was really interesting, but I also loved how S/V just gave you a bunch of objectives and let you loose to tackle them in whatever order you want.

Between the two, this is the freshest Pokemon's felt since I was a kid. The finally delivered the game that I imagined I was playing on my Game Boy in 1998.

3) Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope

If this was a less ambitious sequel, it probably still would've made my list. Just the first game again, with a different set of Rabbid-ized Mario characters and villains? Going by the first game's DK DLC, that would've been an easy recipe for success.

But they didn't do that. They went the extra mile. Completely reworked the battle system, ditching the grid and letting you run freely around the battlefield. Fleshed out the Mario + Rabbids world to really be its own thing - not just Rabbid versions of Mario characters in Rabbid versions of Mario worlds, but original characters and locations that capture the general vibe of both Mario and Rabbids.

This easily could've gone wrong, but they pulled it off. One of the 3 new characters, for example, is one of these original characters, and that easily could've left a bad taste in my mouth, made me say, "Man, I really wish we'd gotten Daisy or even Rabbid Daisy instead of this dumb original character." But I didn't, because Edge is great.

And on top of that, they addressed just about every complaint I had about the first game. There's more substantial side content. Worlds are more interesting to explore. Characters are more customizable. Your party isn't stuck with Mario in the lead and always forced to include a Rabbid. There's more incentive to experiment with your full party instead of sticking to the characters you feel comfortable with.

And I've already written enough, so I won't get into how great the music is. But it's great.

4) PowerWash Simulator

This would've probably made my list even if it'd just played the whole thing straight. Give me a bunch of dirty stuff, powerwasher go brrrrrr, 10/10.

That's all I thought this was for like half the game. Then I started actually paying attention to the text notifications that pop up. And wait, what, this game has a story? And it gets really weird?? And it actually has a really satisfying finale???

So yeah, this was my most played PC game of the year by far.

5) Sonic Frontiers

It's weird. As I was playing this, I felt like I constantly had complaints and frustrations. A lack of polish here, a questionable decision there.

But thinking about the game after the fact, I mostly remember how much fun I had. How great it felt to run around the open world. How the cyberspace level encouraged me to actually go for good times and collectibles in a way other Sonic games never have. How the combat is actually kinda okay. How epic the Super Sonic fights were.

I think this is the 3D Sonic I can praise with the fewest caveats. It's not just good for a Sonic game. It's not just good for its time. It's not good but way too short. It's just straight up good.

Please, Sonic Team, don't try to reinvent the series again next time. You have something good. Really good! Now for the next game, polish up this style and make it something GREAT.

6) Patrick's Parabox

I haven't had my brain destroyed by a puzzle game like this since Baba is You.

7) Kirby and the Forgotten Land

Kirby finally makes the jump to 3D, and it's… basically exactly what I imagined Kirby would be like in 3D. Basically a kid-friendly character action game. Baby's first Bayonetta. But more than that, this game just has passion and creativity that's been missing from the series for years. It's not just Return to Dream Land with a new gimmick. The levels don't feel like they were made in a level editor. Combat practically feels like baby's first Bayonetta. And they somehow took Needle, a power that I've always avoided, and made it my favorite one in the game.

8) Neon White

I don't know how to really explain why, but this looked like a game that would really frustrate me, so I avoided it for a while despite the praise. Something about having to discard weapons to use movement abilities while precisely aiming at enemies just sounded like it would get overwhelming. But the recent GMTK video on it made me give it a shot, and I was happy to find that the it isn't nearly as unforgiving as I worried.

It's a first-person platformer with an emphasis on speedrunning, encouraging you to replay every level at least a few times to get a Gold or Ace medal. It's fun and addictive, and it feels great to find a good shortcut that the game doesn't even tell you about. Though it starts to get less fun later in the game, as levels get longer. Doing a 30 second level a few times isn't bad, but doing a 2 minute level a few times? Eh…

The story, though… well, it's told almost entirely through really cringey visual novel sequences that go on for way too long. Thankfully the game lets you fast-forward them (but not outright skip, for some reason) - but then the game just feels like a level pack with no story. So you either let the dialogue waste your time so you actually know what's happening, or you play the game with no motivation or connection to the world. Just seems like a weird place to drop the ball in an otherwise masterfully designed game.

9) Marvel Snap

A collectible card game with bite-sized matches. An addictive game loop that encourages experimentation with new cards and new types of decks. Marvel characters, both popular and obscure. I don't really play mobile games and I've never really been into card games so this wasn't even on my radar, but I gave it a shot when I saw people talking about it, and it took over my life for a month.

10) The Last Clockwinder

I tried this game on a whim when looking at recent VR games and being a bit depressed that the space isn't as ambitious and experimental as it was when VR was new and exciting.

This is a VR game that feels ambitious and experimental, and actually has somewhat decent production values.

At its core, the game is like a Zachtronics assembly line puzzle game, but in a way that could only work in VR. You record yourself doing a short action - like picking a fruit and tossing it - and then a robot clone appears and repeats that action infinitely. Then you record yourself catching the fruit that was tossed and depositing it in a bucket to harvest it. Repeat until you have a room full of robots harvesting fruits. And if you want to challenge yourself, every room has efficiency goals, so you can try to produce more than X amount of fruit with fewer than Y amount of robots.

And a game that was just a series of levels like that would already be pretty cool. But Clockwinder goes beyond that. For one thing, your robots keep collecting fruit when you're in other levels, and harvested fruits are used to open new levels, where you can get more seeds, which you can use to speed up harvesting in another level - so it's got a bit of an idle game element. But it's also got kind of an adventure game thing going on. Rooms aren't entirely independent. You'll find a room that's askind for blue fruits but has no plants, and you have to find the room to grow blue plants before you can progress. You'll have multi-room puzzles where fruits collected in one room aren't immediately harvested, but instead sent to another level, where you have to complete another puzzle to actually harvest them.

This might all sound like a lot, but it's introduced gradually enough that it's not overwhelming. Tying it together is an actually okay story, told mostly through audio logs with voice acting and writing that surprisingly don't make me cringe and mash the Skip button, a rarity for VR games.

Honorable mentions:

Panic Porcupine: I feel weird mentioning this since I know the devs and playtested it, so I'm obviously really biased. But it's a game I've played a bit of here and there over the past few years, and I was happy that it finally came out, and I had a lot of fun with it.

Grapple Dog: Just a thoroughly solid platformer with fun grappling hook physics and a cute dog.

God of War Ragnarok: There was a time in my life when this would've probably topped my list. It's well-made, very polished, looks amazing, every character's performance is great, and overall I enjoyed it… but I dunno, it just didn't excite me. It made me say, "Yep, that was a pretty good game."

Stray: There are a lot of things I think this game could've done to better capture the premise of playing as a cat. But at the end of the day, Cyberpunk Cat Game was still plenty cute and charming.

Lunistice: A 3D platformer that's short and to the point with a price to match.

Tinykin: What if Pikmin, but a 3D platformer? A great premise, and an overall cute and charming game, but I just wish it had more substance. The strategy elements of Pikmin are almost entirely absent, the platforming is basic, there are no enemies or really any threats at all, the puzzles practically solve themselves… it's decently fun to explore the worlds, but it definitely feels like a game that could've been something more.

Melatonin: Rhythm Heaven, but it takes place in the dreams of a burnt-out Millennial. Fun, but it does make me realize how much of the appeal of Rhythm Heaven comes from that uniquely Nintendo charm.

Hell Pie: A 3D platformer with really cool and fun movement mechanics that might have placed in the top 10 if its aesthetics and sense of humor didn't disgust me. And I don't mean "disgust" as just an exaggeration for dislike, but it's a game full of gross-out humor, and it just doesn't land.

Games that seemed pretty cool but I didn't play enough to place them:

Sports Story: I liked Golf Story but never beat it. This game is also fun, but it came out so late in the year and I've been playing so many other games that I'm not very far yet.

Ragnarock: A VR rhythm game about vikings racing longboats. The music selection really makes you FEEL like a viking drummer.

What the Bat?: What the Golf?, but in VR, and everything is baseball because your hands are bats. I've only played a bit, but I loved What the Golf, and this game has also made me laugh a bunch.

[thecat-inthehat]

7.1 msq done. Under a cut because it's a bit negative, also kinda rambly and talks about 7.0 stuff.

I am. So fucking bored. This shit is so stupid and I am tired of the same (the same!!) plot about families trotted out for the fifth time! DT has this incredible world and culture on both sides yet refuses to actually do anything with the characters that it has or the plot and politics that could be there.

I am so, so, so fucking tired of the "well daddy had a good reason for abandoning you" plot that's shown up so many times and having every character just. Be okay with it. "Oh, it's for a good cause? I'm not mad then, all my complex feelings about family are resolved :)". Individually each one could be interesting, but having this be compounded by all three Promises, Krile, Erenville, and Gulool Ja...? This shit is getting so fucking old, and it isn't even using the similar stories to draw out the differences, it's just ... the same? Every time?

DT as a whole was... not really an enjoyable experience for me, but less in a way that's personally upsetting and just "frustration bordering on indifference." And 7.1 is just more of the same...? A lot of DT feels as though it isn't actually in conversation with what it's about, with like... Yeah there's some touches on Alexandria's imperialism and colonialism, but it refuses to engage with that on a meaningful level and instead coddles the people of Solution 9 to a batshit degree. There's also something to be said about generational trauma with regards to all these Bad Parent Plotlines, but then it's swept under the rug for "oh dad had a good reason" and then not explored at all.

It does not help that I really dislike Sphene for reasons that are hard to fully articulate but can be dumbed down to "this is a bad take on a well trodden sci-fi archetype, Stargate did most of this in 40 minutes and did it better". The second I saw the regulators and watched them erase the memory of a woman I groaned so long and loud because I knew it wasn't going to be handling it well.

Wuk Lamat is... fine? For the most part? But it really bothers me that her selfishness (Seeing WoL as a new toy and Koana feeling left behind before the ceremony; Refusing to engage with Erenville's grief in Living Memory) isn't actually recognized as like... a real problem. The story is doing that thing where it's not actually engaging with the things that's its presenting -- it doesn't even acknowledge that Wuk Lamat is selfish with regards to that, or that it's a character flaw that she has. I don't mind if characters are complex or bad or whatever, I just want the narrative to actually know what it's talking about.

It's also extremely frustrating to watch the Scions, well established characters, not act like themselves. You cannot convince me that Alisaie fucking Leveilleur would look at the regulators, the erasure of memory, and just go "I don't like it, but it's not my place to judge! :/", not when she pioneered the cure for tempering out of a desire not to lose anyone else in her life the way she lost her Grandfather. Y'shtola would not have mildly sat back and let us go through the gate to Living Memory without her, she just wouldn't have. It feels like the characters we know are being forced to go along with what the DM wants at the cost of their actual character arcs just because the plot needs them to get from A to B.

Sighs. Man. It's really fucking dire when I legit considered asking someone else to tell me when the story was getting good again and just unsubbing for a while. And like... I don't like this feeling. This game, this story, has meant a lot to me over the years, I've been playing it since 2015. I want to like Dawntrail, I was even enjoying myself during the Rite of Succession! I love the areas that we go to, the culture and the quests that you can do, etc. But this just... feels kinda bad.

I dunno what I'm gonna do about all these feelings, I just needed to get it out of my head. Maybe I do need a break from XIV, but it's not the game itself that I have an issue with, just the story? And the story is still going to be there when I come back... I'll think about it.

[tumbletwin]

Bro an hour after I woke up @coolbutnotthere immediately wanted to do more questions... I regret ever asking them the first OC questions...

Also it is currently 3:36 am as I finish this...

The is part 3

@mainazure I got more lore things for you

What memory would your OC rather just forget?

Cool: The creation (Wasnt a fun process)

Tumble: Lyra's death kinda? Like they need time to grief but they only get once a year to do that so yeah?

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

Cool: They aren't as aware as people think they are

Tumble: That they're good with kids, I guess?

What is your OCs fatal flaw?

Cool: They think someone who smiles is happy, and they subconsciously force themselves to smile constantly

Tumble: (I took a pjo fatal flaw quiz for this ok... dont judge me, Im still tired) Most likely loyalty or hubris (pride)

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

Cool: Freeze (Only if they are truly scared tho)

Tumble: Fight, like put her in a haunted house, someone's gonna have a broken nose

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Cool: As far as they need to go

Tumble: When talking about stuff they want I would say not too far. But when talking about protecting their loved ones and such then she will lose everything if she has too.

How easily could your OC go against something that's against their moral compass

Cool: Fairly easily (Unles its Jade)

Tumble: Not too hard

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Cool: They aren't a plant anymore

Tumble: Originally Tumble and Cool started out as friends but now they've elevated to family.

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

Cool: Cool pretends to not be as smart as they are. Like they can plan a murder to people who have no correlation to them and get away with it.

Tumble: No, unless someone did something really fucked up to someone they know

Do you have a specific lyric or quote that you associate with your OC?

Cool: "They weren't delicate like a flower. They were delicate like a bomb."

Tumble: It will probably be different in the future but here it is currently "And life went on. It was not the same. But it went on" or "Everybody's falling in love and I'm falling behind"

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

Cool: The happy go lucky person without a care in the world or the dumb one

Tumble: A good person who wouldn't hurt a fly

What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

Cool: Rather high, like you'd have to do a lot to make them flinch.

Tumble: Quite high

What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

Cool: When they watched the majority of their children die in front of them.

Tumble: They're best friend who was also practically a sibling to them died and they can only process their death once a year and it's just the sane thing over and over.

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

Cool: Up close and personal 100%

Tumble: 50/50 close and personal with those they know and love and cold and detached to those they don't know or don't trust

How does your OC behave when enraged?

Cool: Like an animal

Tumble: I want to say the few times she gets engaged she acts like a whole different person

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

Cool: They don't get jealous

Tumble: Kinda but it's like seeing someone she cares about having a better time with someone else.

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Cool: ADHD, possibly bipolar, probably Autism, etc. They don't really know about it so they just live their life

Tumble: ADHD? But like the non hyper one... (I don't remember what it's called and I have ADHD... how do I not remember this.. )

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Cool: CN (Chaotic neutral)

Tumble: NG? (Neutral good)

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Cool: If they hadn't gotten together with their demon partners. They would be in less pain then they pretend not to be. They would be less responsible and be childless for a lot longer.

Tumble: They would be a lot happier if Lyra didn't die

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Cool: Their attitude

Tumble: How sassy she is sometimes

[fighting-these-demons]

B*cch*giri Episode 8

Starting off strong with a flashback!

Aw they're SO CUTE!!!!! How Precious!!! 🥺

Aaaaaaaaaa so THAT'S why Arajin is so bent outta shape. The pure of heart/pure intentions bit. He let Matakara down and his shame from that and how it's deeply affected his self worth is what's eating him about the Honki bit.

I knew it wasn't just the childish aspect because his room is COVERED in childish bullshit despite him being 16 so like. It wasn't that lmao! 😂

Now we have a clear answer on that front!

Paused less than 30 seconds into this and already writing shit up I feel like now that we're back into the story proper and with this only having 12/13 episodes that it's gonna get long here.

They've got a LOT of ground to cover.

Kuwabara - I mean Matakara's spirit awareness has kicked in and he's rightfully scared.

A thing that sneaks in through the Crack of weak people's hearts Huh?

OOF

IT MEANS YOU NEVER RUN AWAY. OW! YEAH THAT GOT HIM.

I wonder why after all those years why Matakara isn't hung up on Arajin running away? Why only Arajin is? Why the running away bit doesnt mentally exclude Arajin in Matakara's mind?

Is it just the devotion?

AUGH THAT PICTURE IS SO PRECIOUS THEY LOVE EACH ITHER SO MUCH GOD FUCK THE COPS THAT PUT HIS BROTHER IN JUVIE JESUS

oh man I hope he's taller than his brother that'd be so funny

I love the sweet sunshine little brother being tall as a weed trope.

😣🤢

Lord help me. It's terrible. If she liked literally anyone else in the cast I'd be her #1 fan and cheering her on as a funny spin on typical anime bullshit but like. Eugh.

Tragic.

Love her attitude towards Arajin though; and I gotta say, I'll be pissed if they get together in the end as a tidy way to tie up and no homo the whole thing.

LMAO Matakara! Arajin just ask him out! He likes you just fine!

Dude he ABSOLUTELY wants to take on that responsibility! Please just GIVE HIM A CHANCE!!!!!

OH HEY!!!! THEYRE EATING LUNCH TOGETHER!!!!! FINALLY!!! 9 EPISODES IN AND WE'RE FINALLY GETTING PROGRESS

Love you forever Blondie! You're a real one and the most relatable for sure! 💛🧡💚💛🧡💚

Teal Terror I live you despite your ain't shit attitude and your multitude of flaws and I am ALWAYS rooting for you but like.

Damn dude let him have this one.

But like I get it I'd feel the same. He's so tired of Arajin's shit. 💙💜🧡

I really do love how like. This feels so much like a YYH au where Yusuke is more awkwardly insecure and Kazuma is still absolutely fixated on him but in modern day where expectations aren't so gendered its in a bit of a softer way.

And like there's a Double kurahi special between Teal Terror and blondie being some of the softer aspects of Kurahi's team dynamic and Javascript and Pink PETALS being the more serious side.

All that to say I love Teal Terror being so dang pouty and jealous and cute and thinking "damn that dude ain't shit why do you care??????" Every minute if every day like. He's so stinking cute I can't take it! 😭

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!,!,

DBSJDJSBSBSHSHSBDBSH

This man said "If I keep "Merging" with him I can get him pregnant!"

I LOVE age gap but Not Like This!!!!! 😭

Augh but I love Big Red Genie's goofy ass so much. So Like. I guess if I self insert it'll be fine?

But I kinda hate self inserting. 😣 uhg.

DUDE YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

GET HIS CREEPY ASS OUTTA HERE. ITS BEEN SO LONG I CANT EVEN REMEMBER HIS NICKNAME FUCK THIS GUY

It's a damn shame too because I love his aesthetic.

All those purple straps.....

MATAKARAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖

GET EM!!!!!!!!

Uhg . What's the stupid plan that this piece of shit has cooked up????

It's probably his Genie doing.

Oh I called him IvySoulCaliber that's right.

Babe do you think he forgot what you did to him and that you had his crush stripped naked????????

He hates your ass and he's just being nice because hes a good guy.

AUGH HES ALSO SO DUMB. PLEASE MATAKARA I BEG YOU TO RUB YOUR BRAINCELLS TOGETHER PLEASE

😫😭💔

Damn he really did his research on how to twist Matakara. Then again he's not too hard to read I guess. A little stalking would have gotten that easy.

MATAKARA DONT LISTEN TO HIM!!!!!

😫

I wonder if anime fans are aware of just how Gay being huge and stacked is viewed as in Japan? I feel like the wrestling bits of this anime play into that. Just reminds me of Gief's whole deal.

His mom is hilarious. She has awful taste sometimes but she's hilarious. Also how dare she ship Arajin with Matakara's Older Brother when she was rooting for Matakara until just now! WHERE IS HER LOYALTY????

I love how AYusuke (get it?) Is still a great cook!

I really do love how this is sort of a heart nod in that direction in so many ways with the main duo.

Oh how funny he lives at Ara-bath! 😂 Bet you that's been on his mind for years!

😨😱😭

Oh God. He Missed A Call on his way out!!!

Something happened. And all this cute music and scenery is getting you hyped just before they hit us with it.

Did he get killed on his way out? Jesus they wouldn't do that would they???

KEN SAN!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

GIRL ME TOO HES THE FINEST 21 YR OLD ON THE PLANET FOR REAL

Not him waiting in the rain for an hour!

😭

Oh no. God I hope he's not dead but geez.

Man Arajin had finally just let his guard down and it's right back up.

Damn Teal Terror is calling in Arajin/the cavalry on this one.

FUCK ME AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE WRITER AND GODDAMN FUCK THE DIRECTOR TOO JESUS CHRIST I LOVE YOU BITCH YOU MAKE GREAT ANIME WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING AUGH

GODDAMN ARAJIN FUCK YOU JESUS CHRIST

Teal Terror!!!! 😭😭😭😭 He's so worried about Matakara and even broke down and pretty much begged Arajin and STILL THIS ASSHILE WONT BE REAL LIKE FUCK

AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHJJHH

OH SHIT RUN MATAKARA RUN!!!!!!!

That goddamn evil genie

Oh shit it got him. 😭

Well. His heart is shattered into pieces and his brother is probably dead but at least he got to have a tender sweet moment with his crush to cherish in his heart.

Oh man yeah I mean I could chalk him being able to see arajin's genie up to his spiritual awareness but I think when Evil Genie got him he must have been handed the gun and tried to shoot himself because he has that side fringe that would cover it so it wouldn't be immediately apparent and also he has the blue genie and it's tied to the image of his brother who is dying or dead and is probably his wish so like.

I'd say he tried to kill himself and made the wish.

And that's part of why he sounded and looked so fucked up when he got to Arajin's house before the sight of Arajin sleeping comforted him.

Oh shit. He woke bith of them up and neither noticed?????

You know if they'd paced this anime better I wouldn't be watching 5 episodes in 1 so late in the game but like. Here we are.

Anyway it's surprising IvyDoulCalibur still has his genie. I wonder what the spirit coming after Matakara is then?

Well hey at least Arajin is looking for him. Even if he did leave him to rot to see a girl that don't give a shit about either of them. 🤷‍♀️

Dang Matakara. 😭💔

Oh shit dude do you think the best time to tell him is when his brother is dying?????????????

Like I'm white American and even by our standards Now Is Not The Time.

Save that shit for confession or some shit.

Why are you hurting him when hes at his absolute lowest?????

God Fuck Arajin just when I think I cN get behind this kid he goes out of his way to hurt people selfishly

Huh. Well. I don't like it. But I do ship it now. (Matakara/IvySoulCalibur)

I wonder what happened to IvySoulCalibur when the Evil Genie transferred to Matakara?

What a shame that Evil Genie is wearing leggings. 😕

Oh hey! Green Gobblin ending! Woo! 💖💖💖

[sordidmusings]

Man why tf some of the best writers on this site get shorted on interaction dude like this needs SO MUCH MORE ATTENTION

Grabbed me right away and had me entertained the whole time!! The characters really live in it, some of my favorite I’ve read!! I also enjoy the reader and their motivations and where they were set up in the crew for a split to make sense and hurt the least (thank u my heart is weak in making the straw hat Captain sad lol) there’s so much personality in the authorial voice too and I just adore it

The additions to canon are really sweet and fun too and I truly enjoyed them!!

Made the dumb meme for this lol cuz it’s TRUE

Annotations/thoughts/yada yada below the cut because I think imma try and do this for some of my reblog as best I can! I do it if I read someone’s stuff on docs and it’s usually liked so why not here 🤷🏼‍♀️

The first thing that struck me was that you dONE IT you’ve got the personality of the chara in focus in omniscient perspective which is a favorite tone of mine! It immediately brings me in and makes the read an engaging experience! It’s very smart to show that card early to hook readers 👌🏻 and Buggy’s perspective is so fuuuuuuun I love that over reactive fucking mess with my whole heart 😩 you’ve done him wonders. And also multi-tasked - the humor told us exactly where to orient ourselves in the plot so that’s a real good use of word count!!

Also Buggy. Sir. May I offer myself as a replacement bendy little shit?? Not as bendy as Luffy but I can work on it-

Also I would like to fuel Cabaji’s conspiracy theory that Buggy dual wields devil fruit - we could get a head start on that propaganda to really build up that large than life persona for his adoring fans and enemies alike. All hail the King of the Clown Cult, long may he reign 🙇‍♂️

CACKLING AT THE “This is Shanks’ fault” cuz at first I was like lol I bet that dumbass blames everything on Shanks and then .5 seconds later it hit me HES KINDA RIGHT

The family heirloom thread caught my eye 👀 good restraint at leaving us wanting more

Dudjdhdjbdkdbdk “you dead?” “That’s a no then” has got me CACKLING

Koby being nervous is so cute I adore the sweet boy but got distracted from that cuz ITS SO BIG BRAINED TO HAVE LUFFY THINK SHES A CLOWN OMFGGGGG i love that you thought of that!!! And that it’s a fun turn on the obnoxious insult shitty people use when they aren’t comfy with the amount of makeup a woman wears when Luffy says it with no ill will and total acceptance and simple misunderstanding lol

“A smile wider than the grand line” is such a cute and perfect description for Luffy and I’m in love with it, it’s pretty simplicity, and the sweet man himself. Truly I’m eating up this whole meeting. It’s so heartfelt and endearing and full of character. You captured Luffy so well in all the scenes he’s in and it’s making me even more eager to read your fic for himmmmm

The reader’s plight in feeling out of place is something I struggle with a LOT. Due to many factors I sometimes have issues communicating with other for a variety of reasons on sliders between both my own inherent flaws and the gap of understanding from others and it can be disheartening and you show it well. Neurodivergence a bitch 💀 time to run away and be an AuDHD clown 🤘not knowing your dreams is its whole other can of worms too and yet another great choice.

The detail of Luffy pilfering your food during Real Talk is exceptional and so on brand and I love it sm 💀

NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU TRULY ENJOY AND RESONATE WITH BECAUSE YOU WERENT ALLOWED IS ALSO SUCH A VIBE 10/10 READER

The moment you mentioned a hat from the two boys I perked up hoping that we had a dream summer with Shuggy because I would KILL FOR THAT O M L makes me real eager to get to the introduction to Buggy and see if they recognize each other 👀👀👀 you’re very good at building interest/anticipation!

Oh boy howdy is reader’s trust in Luffy poorly placed because yeah he wouldn’t intentionally spill the beans but he’s only ever kept like one secret well 💀 tho the odds are on her side because seeing someone’s emotions about a thing is usually how he sorts the importance of it

Yet again, I am in love with your Luffy and Need Him to shower me too with that blind and unbending hopefulness and encouragement 😭😭😭 what a treasure

OOOOOOOOO IT WAS THE DUMBASS DUO THAT WE MET IF YOU KNEW ROGER-

Yet another OOOOOOOOOOO went off in my brain that we know of Buggy 👀 first thought was that we’d recognize the nose but at the same time if seeing a wanted poster one would probably assume the nose and hair were just part of the getup and there’s also enough people in One Piece with funky colored hair including blue 🤷🏼‍♀️

Loving reader’s consistent protectiveness of Luffy 😩 great character trait 👌🏻

“This I was not the time to think the enemy was funny” first off Zoro it’s always time to think the enemy is funny, second it’s Buggy the fuckin Clown dude, and third Luffy is at one of his biggest buffs when he finds enemies funny So There

YES SIMP FOR THIS MANS EYES they really stole all our hearts man they’re too fuckin pretty holy sHIT the soliloquies required to capture their essence 🤌🏻

I love your tone and sassy asides - it’s something I love to try to do because I enjoy reading it so much and I admire your skill in it!!! They keep me giggling and you put them at the right moments around and it helps keep the mood dynamic throughout because serious things feel more serious by contrast to the humor

Damn, Buggy, your roast of our clown status cuts deep 😭😭😭 a girl is trying to fill shoes she didn’t even sign up for my guy and you’ve seen clown shoes that’s gonna take some damn TIME

GDIDBDKDJ Luffy’s question about Buggy’s nose setting off Mom Mode in reader is sending me 💀

I enjoyed how you recounted the show scenes!! It’s hard to keep readers interested when telling them things they already know but your recounting is engaging and chooses good details to include and exclude. The interjections help a lot 👌🏻

I adore Nami BUNCHES but still loved the vicious call out for her cuz while I get her reasoning it does fall squarely under the category of “Dick Move” 💀 also shows some real viciousness in reader and in conjunction with the concept of loyalty 👀 something I admire Much and that would be VERY GOOD for our dear clown

Ooooooooooo very smart of reader (and you) to start up the ploy she has the map to keep her in the room with Buggy instead of taken out with the others. All around you’ve made many good decisions on why she’d be around him and grabbing his attention too!!

Oh the things I’d do to have Buggy call me Dollface and whine at me 😩😩😩 he gets a free pass for all the complaining and griping in the world as long as I get to stay in his presence (I’m totally not down bad at all no sir 🤡)

READER DROPPING THE DEEP LORE IS SO GOOD AND THE DRAMATIC IRONY OF THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS DELICIOUS

AAAAAAAAAA AND SHOCKING HIM BY FLIRTING WITH HIM OH MY GOD THATS ONE OF MY FAV TROPES EVER PLEASE MORE I AM BE G G I N G

The beats of their interaction after this are just perfect all the little details like the eyes widening him trying to get back on his game and his fluster and just all of it are so good!! (Also totally barking at getting up in his personal space, you know but like Casually)

The whole paragraph beginning with “Buggy’s eyes were blown wide again” has me so SOFT so prone to kickin my feet so GIDDY it’s so suddenly tender and genuine and oof just my heart 😩

AND MY HEART EVEN M O R E AT HIM ASKING IF ALL OF IT WAS A LIE AND THE TREMBLING GRIP I JUST

I NEED HIM HE NEEDS KISSES AND I CANT GIVE THEM TO HIM AND AHSHXBSJZN 😭😭😭

✨STARSHINE✨ what a wonderful choice for a pet name from dear Bugs!!!!

The plea for him to not kill Luffy is so sweet and I love it and having that hold over Bughy is so good and I’m thinking to the future when Cross Guild is a thing and they gotta fight Luffy and Buggy is just there sweating under the piercing gazes of his cohorts being like “so no problems with the plan right, clown?” And he musters up all his courage to warble out “w-well actually…” because he can throw almost anything away to save his skin but you begged him. You begged him. Too bad that might get him killed at the moment - that sword and that hook were looking so shiny and so so sharp

Thank you for keeping up the real Straw Hat Tradition of the crew copying Luffy’s nickname for allies 💀 zoro saying “clown lady” was just too perfect lol also Zoro needs to loosen up cuz her humor is great 😤

“Luffy, ever the little shit” PREACH lol such a beloved little shit 💕💕💕

🚨BUGGY IS SWOONING OVER READER I REPEAT BUGGY IS SWOONING OVER READER THIS IS A CODE PINK READY THE PILLOWS FOR SCREAMING IMMEDIATELY🚨

Never fear, dear reader, you will be seeing the failclown again 🤍

IM LOSING MY MIND AT LUFFY ENCOURAGING READER TO BE A CLOWN FULL CIRCLE AND BEAUTIFULLY ABSURD 💀💀💀

The use of government name had me snickering ngl

“He talked about a lot of girls” ah Shanks you fucking dog I love you with all my heart you sleazy beach bum 🥰

BEING BUGGYS FIRST CRUSH HOLY S H IT IM LOSING IT IM-

GALE CARDINAL AND PEACOCK ARE SUCH CUTE NICKNAMES WTF I ADORE THIS SO FUCKJNG MUCH OTS SO SWEET THE ADDED LORE IS SO GOOD

THE LAST LINE RIPPED MY HEART OUT HOW DARE YOU BUT ALSO THANK TOU FOR IT AND THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD 🙏🏻

The Princess and her Fool (Buggy D. Clown/Reader) 1/4

Inspo: GOSSIP-MÅNESKIN

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Word Count: ~7.9k

Warnings: Cursing, canon typical violence, insecurity, descriptions of peril.

A/N: MÅNESKIN is Buggy coded, no I won't elaborate, it just makes sense. So is Ashnikko, esp Cheerleader. Listen to it in context then judge me. All the chapters are inspired by different MÅNESKIN songs.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Buggy was furious. First, he woke up on the floor because it stormed during the night. Second, no one had their shit together during rehearsal. And third, worst of all, soME KID STOLE HIS FUCKING MAP! HE WAS GOING TO INVADE IN TWO DAYS, ACTIVELY FINISHING HIS PLANNING WHEN HE SAW THAT BENDY LITTLE SHIT MAKING OFF WITH HIS MAP! UNCALLED FOR! OUTRAGEOUS! IT’S BULLSHI-HIS. FUCKING. MAP?!?! FUCK!

Buggy snarled as he threw one of his throwing knives at the mast in front of him, “We’ve got a fucking show to do fellas! Hop to!” he sneered, aiming a dagger for the feet of the closest crew member. The crew scattered to their positions, Cabaji staying by Buggy’s side.

“What exactly is the plan, Captain?” the unicyclist asked.

“Get. My. Fucking. Map, Cabaji.” Buggy hissed, poking out another knife from seemingly nowhere, resting the tip on Cabaji’s nose. Cabaji often wondered if the captain had eaten two Devil Fruits, a secret one that let him be such a fiend with those knives, a paranormal, infinite number of them at his disposal. “Board their ship, knock them out, and find my map.”

Cabaji sighed, wheeling backwards, away from the knife’s tip, “Yes, Captain.” He said, wheeling away to bark orders at a few out of place “freaks”.

‘Somehow…this is Shanks’s fault.’ Buggy thought bitterly, slinking back toward his throne, ready for a performance of a lifetime.

You felt a little out of place. You couldn’t help but shuffle your rice around your bowl as you thought about where you were.

You had run into the one and only Monkey D. Luffy when he was on his way to steal the map to the Grand Line from Ol’ Axe Hand. You were on your own little mission, searching the sea for…let’s call it a family heirloom. You were out for blood, but forced to run out of gas as you floated along the expansive seas. Your skin burned and blistered as you stared at the horizon line of nothing but blue all around you. You had been lost at sea for days, no food or water, nothing but the torn-up gown on your back. You were losing hope of surviving. That’s when you heard it.

“HEEEEYYYY!! YOU OKAY?!” you could barely drag your head to look in the direction of the loud screaming, a small rowboat, little more than a dot in your blurry vision. You sighed out a breath of relief, flopping an arm over the edge of your own rowboat. A small sign that, yes you were alive, yes, you need help. “DON’T WORRY! WE’RE COMING!” you felt your eyelids close against your will. A small wave of peace washing over you.

“You dead?” a voice asked tentatively from beside you, what you assumed to be an oar poking your backside a little too hard, drawing a pained groan from your dry throat. “That’s a no, then.”

You peeled your eyes open with a wince, two young men? Boys? Were in front of you in their own little rowboat. You’d later come to find their names to be Luffy and Koby.

“Whatcha doing out here, lady?” Luffy asked, almost tipping his boat over by hoisting himself up on the edge to see you better.

“W-“ you sighed at your scratchy voice, “Water?” you rasped, reaching your sunburnt hand out toward the boys.

Koby flinched back, scrambling to grab a large canteen of water from his feet, thrusting it into Luffy’s hands. “You-you do it.” He whimpered, shifting further away from you in his seat. Luffy laughed a bit, unscrewing the cap, but extended his arm out to you, the open canteen’s rim meeting your greedy lips. The water flowed too fast, covering your face, but you didn’t care, reaching a hand up and taking the canteen from your face. Luffy grinned wide and sat back.

“So, why are you out here, Clown Lady?” Luffy asked, eagerly shifting in his seat.

“Clown Lady?” Koby asked.

“Yeah, that big frilly thing she’s wearing, and the paint on her face! She must be a clown!” Luffy justified, crossing his arms.

You huffed a laugh, mustering all the strength you could to sit up, “Not a clown.” You explained, the gravel in your voice quelled only slightly, “Just a big poofy dress and messed up makeup. I was chasing some Marines, got stranded.”

Koby recoiled, “Why would you be chasing Marines?”

You snarled at the thought, “They stole something of mine. I need it back.”

Luffy’s grin stretched even further, “I can help with that!” you eyed him down, looking for deception in his pure, wide eyes. “Join my crew! I’m gonna be the King of the Pirates!” he exclaimed, giggling a bit.

You blinked at the boy in front of you, taking in his scrawny frame, the little scar under his eye, his straw hat, a hat with a complete sense of Deja vu you couldn’t get rid of, and a smile wider than the Grand Line. King? Well…actually…maybe. The boy didn’t look like much, but the fire in his eyes, the pull in his chest to adventure that you could practically feel, the love and care and hope oozing from every pore. A pirate? Yeah. In the hazed light of the afternoon sun, in your dehydrated mind, your heart skipped a beat. You thought you saw Gol D. Roger in front of you. You felt his warm smile, his laughter ringing through your ears. Yeah…he could probably do it.

You set your jaw, trying to chase away the sting of tears, “Okay, Kid. I believe you.” You said, holding out your hand to shake. Koby’s eyes bulged, and Luffy all but cackled, “I’ll join you, but I have a few conditions.”

“Fine by me!” he had said, shaking your hand immediately, dragging you into their rowboat, and the rest is history. You had been pretty useless in helping get the map, but your knowledge of Marine’s bases and ships’ construction and layout helped more than you’d know, dangling from first Luffy’s back, then eventually Zoro’s.

So, there you sat, mulling over your rice. It hadn’t been long since you joined Luffy and became a “Straw-Hat”, and as much as you believed in the kid, and even though you got along with Zoro and Nami, you couldn’t help but feel unwanted, a little on the outside. Even if you had technically been the first one to join, you kinda felt like you were tacked on, like this wasn’t where you belonged.

You had three conditions in joining Luffy, 1. He and the other Straw-Hats were to help you find your heirloom, 2. You would stay with Luffy until it was found, 3. When it was found, you would be allowed to leave whenever you were ready, to make your own path, your own life. Until then, you would be the most loyal crew member the Greenhorn Captain had ever heard of. You would ask how high, you would “bark” on command, kill without hesitation. You hadn’t had to prove it, nor the chance to yet, but you could feel it coming. Something’s brewing. Something’s on the horizon, and it wasn’t a rowboat.

“Hey, Clown Lady! Whatcha up to?” Luffy asked, plopping next to you, already stealing a clump of rice from your bowl. You sighed and handed the bowl over, resting your head on the table in front of you.

“I’m thinking and I’m sad, Luffy.” You had long given up on correcting him that you were not, in fact, a clown. Luffy’s face scrunched and he paused his ravenous shoveling of the rice into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully for a moment, “Why are you sad?”

You hesitated, but relented, knowing this would only nag at you until you talked about it, and raised your head, but only half facing your rambunctious captain. “I feel like…I don’t belong here.” You finally spat out, shoving your face into your hands so you didn’t have to see the younger man’s expression. “I feel…different. I’m not…special like you guys.”

Luffy went to interject, but you slammed your hands off your face, pushing yourself to face him fully, “I don’t have a devil fruit, I’m not a great swordsman, or a great navigator. I’m some lady you found in a rowboat on the verge of death who has very little that’s spectacular or at all interesting about her other than some family heirloom that I don’t even know if I fully want to tell you about.” You exclaimed, grabbing the captain’s shoulders, “Don’t you ever just-just-” you huffed in frustration, shaking Luffy a bit, “-feel like something’s missing?!” Luffy looked at you with wide eyes, his arms pinned to his chest, a weird expression on his face. You sighed loudly, letting the poor man go and turning back to the table, suddenly infatuated with the wood grain, heat rising to your face.

Your captain called your name softly, “What’s your dream?” he asked.

You shrugged, “I don’t really have one. I have…goals I guess.”

“What are they?”

“I want to find my father’s-um my family heirloom,” you stuttered, revealing a touch more than you had before, “I want to carry on his mission, I guess. Keep it safe. After that, I don’t know. I’d like to fall in love maybe.” You rambled, all rather noncommittal in your tone.

Luffy nodded thoughtfully, setting aside the now empty bowl you had your rice in. “What do you like to do?”

You thought for a moment. God, it had been years since you thought about what you liked, what you wanted. You had to set it all aside for your father, for your family. The last time you remember having fun was when you were fifteen, when two boys that were your age came to visit your island, they taught you knife throwing, tried to show you how to sword fight, showed you the ship they lived on, but most of all, you thought of the way they showed you how to perform. They weren’t able to steal around the island, for fear of your family overpowering their crew and kicking them off before they had their fill of fun and food, so they needed money.

They had you bring them to the town square and set one of their hats on the cobbled ground and for hours the three of you did little tricks, danced, sang, told stories, or showed off some of the skills they had been teaching you for tips. The echo of your laughter and glee bouncing through the city, chorused with the boys’ joyous hoots and hollers into the sunlight. You had scrounged the tips together and used the money to have a ball that night at the summer festival, running through crowds with fried dough and masks of monsters and beasts of old, only stopping to watch the massive fireworks in the night sky, dancing under the colorful sparks for nothing but yourselves, cheers from all around.

Your eyes threatened to well up at the thought, not a day goes by that you don’t think of those boys, hoping they’re doing okay, that they got to grow up as carefree and happy as they were with you. That was the last summer you were allowed to be a kid, “I like performing.” You whispered, barely wanting to voice such an absurd thought. That everyday could be like that summer. That you could feel the thrill of all those eyes on you, all that joy directed at what you can do.

Luffy sat up and grinned, “Is that your dream? To perform? What do you do?” he asked, genuinely happy to have helped you down this train of thought. “C’mon, tell me!”

“I learned how to do a few things over the years, I’m good at acrobatics cause of all the ropes I’ve dealt with on ships, I love to dance, I-“ you laughed as you said the rest, “I learned how to fire breathe and throw daggers really well too!” you grabbed a worn, old throwing knife from your side and tossed it in your hand, Luffy’s eyes sparkled in wonder as you went on, “You weren’t the only one with a weird childhood, kid.” You teased, nudging him with your shoulder, before grabbing the blade at the end and launching it straight at the wall where it stuck with a light twang.

“Why don���t you do that?” Luffy exclaimed, gesturing to you, your face more specifically, “Just talking about it has you smiling more than I’ve ever seen you!”

You chuckled a bit, but the sad gleam returned to your eyes, “I can’t. I have to protect the Kaku Kaku no Mi.” you explained. Luffy furrowed his brow, and horror dawned your face, “Forget I said that! Luffy, this doesn’t leave this conversation.” You whispered, holding his face in your hands, eyes boring into his.

Luffy’s eyes widened in excitement and awe, “You’re looking for a Devil Fruit?!” he exclaimed, your hands over his mouth muffling the last two words from leaving his mouth.

“Yes!” you whispered, tears close to falling, “And no one can know! I trust you, so it’s okay that you know, but you must promise me you won’t say anything to anyone. Not even Zoro and Nami.” You pleaded, hands still covering the captain’s big mouth. “Please, Luffy. As my Captain, I’m begging you.”

Slowly, your captain’s eyes softened, and he nodded, gently taking your hands away from his face, and in a pure moment of sobriety, Luffy spoke, “I’ll keep your secret, Clown Lady,” he said, a small smile spreading over his lips as he added, “Only if you promise me that you’ll follow your dream. Go perform on the biggest stages you can find. If not for you, for me.” His words were punctuated by a hand being raised; pinky outstretched in a childish pact. One that you hadn’t seen or made since you last saw one of those boys that summer, vowing to see each other again.

Tears fell down your cheeks as you choked out, “I can’t just-!”

“Yes, you can.” He chortled, “I just told you that you could. You have permission.”

You froze, the tears coming harder, but you felt a weight falling off of your shoulders as you wrapped a shaky pinky around his. You yanked Luffy by the join and pulled him into a deep hug, his arms wrapping around you twice with his rubber abilities. “You’re such a good kid. Roger would be happy to have you as his successor.” You whispered into his hair, laying a quick kiss onto the crown of his head.

Luffy pulled back a bit, eyes shining, “You knew him?!”

You giggled, swiping a stray curl out of his face, “Not for long-“

You were cut off with a BANG and a LURCH. You held Luffy to your torso as you were both flung to the floor, shielding him from potential impact.

“We’re under attack!” you exclaimed, already rushing to your feet, the captain not far behind. You both ran out to the deck, Zoro and Nami already there, weapons drawn.

“Who the fuck is that?!” Zoro roared, looking in all directions through the grey smoke.

You felt woozy all of a sudden, red overtaking the grey, “Luffy! The map!” you yelled, pushing him over toward Nami, coughing and trying to balance against the railing of the ship, “INCOMING!” you yelled, dropping to the floor, clinging to the rails. Another BANG and a LURCH cut through, the red smoke billowing farther. You peered through a gap in the sea of crimson and saw a curious jolly roger. “Is that a clown?” you mutter. The last thing you see before you pass out is Luffy swallowing the map, Nami and Zoro already passed out. With your last moments, you reached out to the barely conscious Luffy.

“Wake up!” came a hiss from next to you, you tried to rouse, your eyes barely blearing open. A harsh kick to your foot made you jolt to attention. Your eyes met Zoro’s as you tried to blink the drugs out of your system, finding all four of you in a large wooden crate. The other three were already standing, looming above you.

“What the fuck?” You mutter, trying to stretch the soreness out of your neck.

“Where’s the map?” Nami whispered.

Luffy waved her off, “Don’t worry about it! It’s somewhere safe.” He assured cryptically. You two shared a look, and you gave him a small nod, you weren’t saying shit.

“Marines must’ve found us,” Zoro huffed.

You and Luffy shook your heads, “Pirates.” You droned.

“Yeah, I saw a big, weird Jolly Roger.” Luffy explained.

You nodded, “Uh-huh. Kinda looked like a-“

“-clown.” You both finished. After a moment, you blanched. You knew who a clown in the East Blue was. “Oh shit.” You whisper, standing up and trying to find a way out of the crate, futile as it was.

“What’s your problem?” Nami asked.

You looked her dead in the eye, “We might’ve pissed off the wrong guy already.” You mutter, cryptically.

With that, the crate’s walls fell to the ground, all of you squinting under the harsh spotlight. Circus music played all around you as performers swung above you, cycled past, fire breathers a little too close for comfort, all the while a chorus of flat applause echoed over the music. When your eyes adjusted it took you a second to notice the audience and their distress, taken by the barrage of talents all around you. When you do, you lock eyes with a woman who’s jaw trembled and eyes widened, tears threatening to fall as she mouthed a small, “Help.”

Nami lowered Luffy’s clapping hands next to you, “If we die, Luffy,” you locked eyes with the young captain, “I’ll kill you.” You hissed, pushing the younger man behind you. You, Nami, and Zoro forming a bit of a triangle around him.

You whipped your head toward a backstage entrance, a resounding voice demanding attention, “No, no, no, NO!” the pirate yelled, rushing into view, “Stop clapping! Stop clapping!” he insisted, marching into the ring, “No! This is all wrong!”

You squinted trying to get a proper look at the source of the voice, but he was in the dark, not quite lit up enough to see his face. “The spotlight was late.” He exclaimed, “You completely missed my entrance!”

‘Ah, that’s why I couldn’t see him.’ You thought with a smirk.

The man gestured wildly, getting the spot tech’s attention, physically guiding them to find him. The comedic timing and absurdity caught you off guard, and you found yourself suppressing a laugh, just a soft snort coming out. Zoro glared at you over his shoulder, this was not the time to think the enemy was funny.

“-And where was the dancing lion?!” you got a good look at him now; he was a clown. A handsome clown. The first thing that struck you was the way his eyes caught the light. They shone in a way that struck you, your heart skipping a beat, a sense of nostalgia washing over you. His makeup was perhaps a little worse for wear, but he looked pretty stressed. Pissed might be a more accurate word, really. Nonetheless from where you stood, he was a very attractive man, a squared off jaw, stubble peaking through along it. His face was screwed up a bit in annoyance, but you couldn’t help but think he was pretty. He had blue hair and a colorful getup, topped off by an orange captain’s hat, his clown-y jolly roger positioned proudly at the center. There was no question about it, this was one of the most prolific captains in the East Blue, Buggy D. Clown. You all were fucked.

“Hey!” You whipped around to grab Luffy by the arm, try to stop him, but he persisted, “I know you! I saw your wanted poster in Shells Town!”

“Don’t say something stupid, Luffy!” You whispered, pinching his bicep.

He barely flinched, brushing you off, “You’re the clown guy!” Luffy turned to you briefly, “Hehe! How bout that, Clown Lady!” He chimed.

Buggy’s face screwed up in confusion, ‘She’s not a fucking clown.’ He thought. ‘If she is, she’s a shitty one. Out of costume and everything.’

“Your name’s uh-uh” Luffy trailed off already moving on.

“Buggy!” you whispered.

“Binky!”

“No!”

Buggy was unimpressed, “Buggy.” He corrected. “Buggy the Clown. Buggy, the Flashy Fool? Buggy, The Genius Jester?” Buggy offered, looking for any sign of recognition on the young captain’s face. He found none, just unabashed…well. Luffy.

“Wow!” Luffy exclaimed, he looked at your little crew with a grin, genuinely excited to meet a famous pirate. “I bet everyone in the East Blue knows who you are!”

Buggy’s eye twitched, and you took a step closer to Luffy, widening your stance, “What did you just say?”

“Just that everyone knows who you are!” Luffy said innocently. He didn’t know. He really didn’t. You didn’t even know about what was going on, and you actually knew who Buggy was.

Buggy snarled, pushing past you and the other crewmates, grabbing Luffy by the face, “NOSE?!” You stumbled but stood close, eyeing the clown pirate’s hand on your captain’s face. Your fingers twitched to deck the guy, but you had to be patient. You had to wait. Your priority was keeping Luffy safe, not pitching a fight with other pirate captains.

You saw the other circus folk step forward, a menacing threat hanging over all of you. “Are you making fun of my nose?” Buggy seethed.

“Well, I wasn’t,” Luffy started, struggling to speak through Buggy’s grip. “But now that you mention it…” Luffy’s hand rose from his side as he spoke, “Is that thing for real?”

You clenched your jaw as Buggy slapped Luffy’s hand away. “Don’t be rude, Luffy!” you hissed.

Buggy regarded you for a second, taken aback, but his attention was quickly grabbed by Luffy again as he tried to reach back toward his nose. Buggy slapped Luffy’s hand away again, “What’s real is, I’ve been scheming for MONTHS!” he exclaimed, “to steal that map from that Old Axe-Hand Moron.” Buggy emphasized the insult, swinging into Nami’s face, who regarded him coldly as he indicated for a laugh. You frowned at the mention of the Marine, displeased by the few interactions you’d had with him. Buggy shrugged at Nami’s nonresponse and backed away, “-only to find out I had been upstaged by four little nobodies! Who stole it from right under my nos-“ he cut himself off, that clearly being a sensitive subject for him. “-NO! IT’S IN MY HEAD NOW!” he yelled, groaning in frustration before marching away from your crew.

You took a deep breath as you watched him go, approaching Luffy again, resting a hand on his shoulder, trying to ground him to reality for one damned second. “Hey!” Luffy shouted, and you clamped your hold on his shoulder, nails digging into his skin. You hissed, trying to get him to shut up, but Luffy persisted as if you weren’t even there. “I’m not a nobody!” he proclaimed, a resolute tone in his voice. “I’m Monkey D. Luffy! And I will be King of the Pirates!” you tensed even further, letting go of your vice grip and biting back a lecture on time and place.

Buggy let out a weak, piteous laugh at your captain’s statement, “Oh! Now that’s funny!” he pointed at the man who was supposed to oversee the lion, who held up a LAUGH sign. The crowd followed directions hollowly, and you found yourself locking eyes with that woman again, the tears falling slowly down her cheeks. You sent her a determined nod. If you could do nothing else today, you’d protect Luffy, and get her out of here. The laughter rang for a moment, until the unamused clown gestured to stop, the tent falling to silence on a dime. “My bounty poster graces every marquee of every Marine outpost for miles.” Buggy carried on, talking up himself and his crew, but at that moment, you noticed something. Buggy had throwing knives in his coat. If you could just get your hands on one…a plan began to form in your mind on how to get one as the two pirate captains argued about who would be king.

You scanned the room when your plan was as fully formed as it would be, looking for all exits and possibilities you could. Just when you felt solid, Zoro opened his big mouth.

You could see Buggy’s rage build at the swordsman’s arrogance, a vein on his forehead popping out a bit, the tendons in his neck tight. “Now,” he muttered. “Maybe we should skip right to the finale.” Buggy raised his hand, each finger interlocking with a knife, one shoved between each knuckle. Your focus lasered in on them, barely registering the other pirates as a threat as they readied themselves for a fight.

THEN NAMI STEPPED UP. FUCKING HELL. Your brow twitched as you resisted the urge to shove her back, “Wait! Wait. What if I have something to offer you?”

You snarled, “Oh hell no.” you knew exactly what she was gonna do. And it wouldn’t work.

“Something more valuable than the map.” Luffy eyed Nami, confused as to what she could be talking about, stepping closer to her. Nami goes on to set up offering one of you as a freak, stepping around Luffy.

“Go on.” Buggy insisted, curiosity something he couldn’t seem to resist.

Nami smoothed her resolve, turning and snatching Luffy’s hat, tossing it high above you and tried to bolt. Luffy used his rubber abilities to try and grab the hat.

“Fat chance!” you yelled, sprinting after her. You made it out of the tent when she stumbled in her path, shocked by the destruction around her. You, did no such thing, tackling her around the middle. You two rolled in the dust for a moment, when you landed you had her pinned under you, straddling her, holding her arms above her head, “We die, you die. You signed up for this shit.” You hissed, leaning into her face, “Try something like that again and I might have to kill you. Only thing that could save you is that rubber boy you just tried to sell out.” Nami’s eyes were wide under you as you were quickly surrounded by circus performers, picking you two up and dragging you back to the tent.

Buggy eyed you with renewed wonder. ‘You chased down your crewmate who was…getting away? All because of this…rubber dude?’

Nami’s horrified expression hadn’t left her face, “What did you do?! What did you do to their town?! You destroyed everything!” she cried to the clown. Buggy just rolled his eyes and twirled a throwing knife in his hand. You had become used to such destruction over the years, and used that to your advantage, compartmentalizing those feelings for later and focusing on getting one of those damned knives.

“Not everything.” Buggy chided, cutting slices into an apple he had retrieved in light of Nami’s escape attempt. “I let em keep their hands.” He joked, pointing to the guy with the sign again, provoking applause from the crowd.

“Okay,” Buggy started, “Here ends the theatrics.” He said walking over to your group again, but more specifically over to you, the lights shifting with his path. His eyes landed on you, looking you up and down, trying to take you in. You met his gaze without issue, even quirking a small smirk at the man. Buggy narrowed his eyes at you before turning to your captain, “I know one of you has my map, and I’m gonna get it back.” He said, Buggy’s eyes flicking to you briefly. “What was it you said, rubber boy? That it was in a safe place?” All of your eyes shot wide. Amendment to the plan. You were going to be grabbed. You have the map now. At least they’ll think you do. You have to help Luffy. “Don’t act so surprised. I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere.”

You shared a look with Luffy ‘Go with it.’ You tried to telepathically communicate with the boy, “So please make our guests uncomfortable in the Greenroom!” He said, motioning for the circus pirates to descend onto you, trying to drag you into the back. You immediately held your arms over your torso, pretending to have the map under your shirt, he doesn’t know it’s in a damned cannister, writhing to keep your hands in place. ‘Please think I’m stupid enough to do that.’ You prayed, meeting Buggy’s eyes for a moment.

His eyes narrowed, “Leave her.” Buggy called, pointing right at you. You struggled less, darting your eyes around, ‘panicked’ you and Luffy were left in the circus tent while Nami and Zoro were dragged into the dark of the backstage. You two were ushered forward, inches away from Buggy. “I am going to have a little chat. With my stretchy new pal, here.” He said, eyes flicking to you, “But first, I’m, gonna need to talk to this pretty little Doll Face right here.” His gaze bore into you as he flicked his head to the side, the crew grabbing Luffy and dragging him one way, Buggy guiding you in another. “Let’s chat, babe.” He rasps into your ear.

‘Please let this work.’

“Come ON, Doll Face!” Buggy whined, the two of you in one of the off shoot store rooms. He had stuck you both into a large cage, not lion big, but big enough. “Work with me here! I mean, what are you even doing with a bunch of snot nosed little babies, huh?” he asked, plopping to the ground in front of you. You sat across from him, your arms crossed over the area you were pretending to keep the map.

You gave the clown another grin, “Why? Jealous?”

Buggy’s brows knit in confusion, “Huh? Why’d I be jealous?” genuine perplexed questioning all over his face as he began fiddling with one of those throwing knives you were so ready to get your hands on.

“Because he’ll do it.” You said frankly, checking your nails, frowning at a break.

“Do what?” Buggy challenged, holding the knife level with you.

You simply hummed into your smile, making it grow, “He’s gonna find the One Piece and become King.” You said, speaking like you were talking about the weather. “I see it in him every day.” You locked eyes with Buggy’s annoyed gaze. “I swear sometimes he might be the reincarnation of Roger himself.” You barreled forward, riling Buggy up, “I haven’t heard of a pirate like him since Joy Boy!”

Buggy was almost growling, “Don’t you talk to me about Gol D. Roger.” He hissed, fingers twitching around the knife’s hilt. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

You shrugged; arms still wrapped firmly around yourself. “How would you know?” you lilted, leaning forwards into the clown’s space. “You don’t know anything about me, Buggy.” You said, emphasizing his name. “You don’t even know who I am.” You giggle, cocking your head to the side, looking the seething clown up and down.

Buggy ran his tongue along his teeth, sucking in a breath, “What’s your name then, Doll?”

You bit your lip to keep down another laugh, “I don’t know if I want to tell you, I kinda like it when you call me Doll.” Buggy was physically taken aback for a moment, his head jerking back a bit, not expecting any flirting. Your eyes softened a bit, extending out your leg to bump your foot with his. “Come on, pretty boy, don’t be so serious.” You laugh at his bewildered expression for a moment before announcing your name with a grin.

His eyes widened further, making you laugh harder, “You’re cute when you’re not trying to kill my friends.” You joked, nudging the clown’s foot again, trying to illicit a laugh or any reaction now other than the frozen, almost afraid man in front of you.

Buggy swallowed the lump in his throat, fighting off the heat rising to his face by clearing his throat, “What about when I am?” he joked, trying to get the higher ground back.

Your smile never left you as you rose to your knees, ‘It’s been long enough for Zoro and Nami to have figured something out to get us all out of here. I want to use the little time I have left to have a little fun.’ You thought to yourself, crawling over to Buggy, grabbing the bars to the cage next to his head, settling between his legs.

“Well, I thought you were kinda hot, but I’m sure you’d be even better trying to kill someone I don’t like.” You lilted, face only inches from Buggy’s.

Buggy’s eyes were blown wide again, his long lashes tempting you a bit. After a moment of sharing the same space, you raised your hand up, stroking his cheek with the back of your hand, your knuckles brushing those feather soft eyelashes. You watched as his pupils overtook his beautiful blue green irises, raising your hand further to tuck a stray strand of hair back into Buggy’s bandana. You smiled again and his whole face softened.

Buggy brought his own hand up and grabbed yours from his face, whispering “You don’t have the map, do you?” you looked to the side to avoid his eyes, feeling a bit bad for the deception, and shook your head. His fingers caught your chin, and he made you look at him, a pained look on his face. “Was all of it lies? Just sweet little things to distract me?” he asked through grit teeth, and you couldn’t help but notice a slight tremor to his grip.

Your eyes shot wide, immediately holding Buggy’s face in your palms, heart straining a bit when he wouldn’t meet your eyes. You could never be so cruel! “Hold on, now Bugs! This wasn’t even my plan, honestly,” you started, moving your head into his field of view every time he tried to dart those pretty eyes away from you, “I was just gonna stall, piss you off a bit.” You chuckled, “Anything I said in here,” you said with a soft smile, “I meant, pretty boy.” His eyes searched yours for deceit, confusion flashing over his face when he found none. “I don’t have to lie to get what I want.” Buggy felt an impossible pull closer to you, and so did you to him. Just as you were close enough to brush your nose against his-

“HAHAHA!” Luffy’s cackling rang out through the whole area. You flinched and tried to find where the sound came from, and Buggy blinked a few times, taking in your beautiful features as you searched for your captain, only realizing you were real when he felt the pressure of your fingers still on his face.

He shook himself out of it, “Duty calls, Starshine!” Buggy chuckled, grabbing you around the waist, placing you to the side. You worried your lip between your teeth as you listened to the loud sounds coming from Luffy. Buggy hummed and stood up, taking a key from his hat and letting his hand detach while you weren’t looking, letting it unlock the cage door before slipping through and closing it back up, locking it quickly.

Your eyes snapped to Buggy, standing in the cage, watching him as he walked away from you, “Buggy!” you called. The clown captain stilled, only turning his head to listen to you, “Promise me something!” you could barely see his brows furrow, his ear twitch, “Don’t kill him. Just-he’s a great kid and he deserves a shot. You don’t have to share; you can fight to find the One Piece all you want. Just-just don’t kill him.” You were even shocked yourself at the desperation in your tone. Buggy’s shoulders tensed before he straightened out, with a deep breath. You didn’t know for sure if he agreed of not, but something deep in your heart told you Luffy would be okay.

You were spinning the throwing knife on your finger, threading it through your fingers over and over as you sat and waited. You had already tried picking the lock to little success, and there weren’t enough weak points to exploit in the cage, so you sat, and you fiddled with the blade, waiting for one of your crewmates.

“Clown Lady!” you heard Zoro’s gruff call travel low through the room. You licked your lips and whistled a practiced bird call, hearing two sets of footsteps move direction and come find you in your sturdy, iron bar cage.

You leaned against the bars, waving at your crewmates, a wry smile on your lips, “I don’t know if this is the right place for that nickname.” You joked.

“Damn, what’d you do to get locked up like this?” Nami huffed, already trying to work the lock.

You shrugged, “I think he likes me,” you chuckled, to the dismay and slight disgust of the two pirates, “Maybe he wanted to keep me!”

Zoro grimaced, “You have a weird sense of humor, woman.”

You rolled your eyes, a glint in the sand catching your eye, a glint in the sand catching your eye. You beamed, pointing at the swordsman’s feet with a wide smile, “I told you he liked me! Look,” both crewmates’ eyes followed your finger to the dusty ground, “He left me a key!”

Zoro and Nami took a moment, blinking to process this information, looking at each other to confirm this was real, nodded, and then Nami grabbed the key.

“Let’s go, Luffy was running his mouth, I could hear him,” you said, rushing through the tent, you and Nami running ahead while Zoro made quick work of any circus folk you ran into.

You turned the final corner and sprinted through the hallway, coming into one of the ring entrances. Luffy was in an escapologist’s water tank full of seawater, Buggy arguing with him through the glass.

Your eyes met Luffy’s as he was fully submerged in the water tank, and you gave him a wide smile, Nami running up behind you. Luffy, ever the little shit, points behind Buggy at you two. Just as Buggy turns, Nami launches the staff she’d been holding straight at the glass with enough power to crack it.

Buggy dodges it, looking up at you two. Just when his eyes met yours, the glass broke out, all the water and Luffy himself spilling out onto the ground. And in that moment, the world paused.

He was in peril, sure, but Buggy couldn’t help but marvel at your wide smile, the grin crinkling the corners of your eyes. You tossed something in your hand, catching it again. One of Buggy’s throwing knives. Buggy felt a smirk pull at his lips, no one manages to steal his knives from him. Damn you’re impressive.

When the world resumed, he and Luffy were fighting off the effects of the sea water, and Buggy heard an absolutely awful gagging sound, eyes shifting to the rubber captain. ‘HE ATE THE FUCKING MAP?!’ Buggy almost cackled at the insanity, but one thing overpowered it all. He needed “My map-” “My hat-“ he and Luffy began to crawl, dragging themselves toward their respective treasures. When they had reached them, Buggy laughed, God could he fail upwards.

That’s when you three made your advance, you, Zoro, and Nami circling Buggy like sharks, “You want a piece of me?” Buggy called, “Let’s see what you got!”

Zoro tried to chop off Buggy’s head, but it just popped off then back on again, causing all of your faces to scowl in confusion. “Chop Chop Fruit.” You called.

“Very good, Doll Face!” Buggy exclaimed, “Surprise, Shithead!” Buggy began to separate into smaller and smaller pieces, flying around you three.

“Cutting him won’t work.” You stated, twirling the knife in your hand, thinking. Thinking of nothing good, of course, a wicked grin appearing on your face.

The flying limbs and body parts flew all around you, pushing Zoro and Nami out of the ring. You tried your best to dodge them, but you got hit back by a few before finding Buggy’s rhythm, bobbing and weaving with him. Unfortunately, he noticed, and sent a hand out to drag you to the ground, away from the others. You landed hard against a supply of chests and crates. Perfect.

Luffy rose to the challenge, invoking Buggy’s Chop Chop Cannon, and dodging expertly, pinning the clown’s torso to the ground before one of his fists came flying in from the side, toppling Luffy off of him. Luffy popped right up, only for Buggy to send a fist full of knives at his head, catching Luffy’s hat when he ducked.

‘Oh, shit.’ You thought. ‘Buggy might be fucked. What a shame. I kinda wanted to see him again.’

Luffy’s eyes were wide, panic and rage flickering through them as he tried to pick it up, only to be tripped and pinned by Buggy. Your captain met your eye, which you immediately swung open one of the chests, and he got the hint, that brilliant boy. “Nami! The crates!” he choked out.

Nami’s head whipped to where you were, ready to go, knife in hand. Luffy stood tall, ripping Buggy’s hand off of his throat and whipping it towards Nami, who batted it right at you, who slammed it into a crate, closing it tightly before prepping the next one. And so that’s how it went, the other Straw-hats sending you pitches and hits, and you making sure they found their homes in individual crates. One particularly sneaky leg tried to go back to Buggy, but you whipped your throwing knife right at it, barely nicking him, but pinning it to the ground by the pants. You grabbed it and shoved it into a chest, sitting on it with a satisfied grin. All that was left was his head, feet, and hands.

“What did you do?!” Buggy roared, outraged.

Luffy chuckled, dusting off his poor hat, “Cut you down to size!” he laughed, infuriating the clown.

Buggy sputtered and yelled, “-you’re just a sad, lonely little boy wearing another man’s hat!”

You lowered your gaze to Buggy’s, a narrow glare. “I know who I am.” Luffy started, placing his hat back on his head. You glowed with pride as he spoke, “I am Monkey D. Luffy. And I’m gonna be the King of the Pirates!” he announced, readying himself for the final blow.

You met Buggy’s eye one more time as Luffy wound up, and you sent him a quick wink and a smile.

“GUM GUM! BAZOOKA!” and with that, Luffy slingshot the clown’s remaining pieces out of the tent.

‘Wonder when I’ll see him again.’ You wondered. ‘Hope it’s soon.’

You kept your eyes on the hole in the tent as Luffy picked up the map, handing it off to Nami. You stiffened for a moment, apprehensive with her after the stunt she pulled.

“You’re trusting me with this?” Nami asked, taking the map into her hands.

“You’re the navigator.” Luffy insisted.

They shared a little moment, holding each other’s eye, a passage of understanding between them.

Zoro cut in, puffing out a quiet, “Let’s get out of this clown show.”

You smirked, “Should I take offence, Zoro?” you teased.

Zoro rolled his eyes, “Quiet, woman.” He barked, all of you heading towards an exit.

“Wait!” Luffy exclaims, and your eyes landed again on the face of the woman in the crowd. “We have one more thing to do.” You and the woman exchanged smiles.

“Hey, Luffy.” You said, sitting next to your captain on the deck of your small “ship”. The young captain was wearing the straw hat again, repaired by Nami.

He smiled up at you, watching the waves. It was just you two out there, the other two working inside. “Should I stop calling you Clown Lady?” Luffy asked, peering up at you, squinting in the evening sun.

You smiled, teeth and all, stroking the young boy’s nape, “You don’t have to.” You start, poking his cheek with your free hand, “I don’t mind being Clown Lady. Especially not for you, Captain.”

Luffy sat up and his eyes got that sparkle, he had an idea. “Maybe that’s what you could do! Be a clown!” he volunteered, gesturing wildly with his words, your shoulders shaking in laughter. “Clowns do all kinds of stuff! You could do all the stuff you wanna do!”

“I could also…just do them and not be a clown.” You chide, pinching his side, “Besides, you don’t have to worry about me and my silly dreams. Okay, Luffy? Focus on yours. You might actually achieve yours.” You say, taking the boy into a side hug, his head under your cheek.

You could feel him scowl under you, “You’ll achieve your dream,” Luffy said, using your government name to prove his point.

You barked out a laugh, “That might’ve been the first time you said my name!” Luffy shrugged and chuckled, wrapping an arm around you too, a comfortable silence filling the deck, the only sound was the sounds of the sea, calm and cool. You took a moment to look at Luffy, specifically that hat. That hat niggled at the back of your skull like a song you couldn’t remember the name of, why was it so familiar? “Say, Luffy.” He hummed in acknowledgment, “Where’d you get this hat from?”

Luffy smiled wide and began telling tale of the Red-Haired Shanks, a man he looked up to in every way, who took care of him. As he spoke you couldn’t help the feeling of familiarity grow stronger. “Luffy.” You stopped him suddenly, craning your neck to look the boy in the eyes. “Did this Shanks guy ever tell you about a girl he met when he was young?”

Luffy shrugged noncommittally, “He talked about a lot of girls.”

You pursed your lips trying to place your words, “What about a girl who beat him in a fist fight when they first met?” you asked with a chuckle.

Luffy sat up suddenly, straight as a board. “Was that you?” he asked, wide eyed.

You shrugged, “I think so. Remember those boys I told you about?” Luffy nodded eagerly, “I’m starting to think one of them was your Red-Haired Shanks.”

Buggy froze where he was being held by Arlong’s pirates, the itchy bag rubbing against his sensitive nose.

‘Remember those boys I told you about?’

‘I swear sometimes he might be the reincarnation of Roger himself.’

‘What about a girl who beat him in a fist fight when they first met?’

The knife.

It all made sense. It was you. The girl. Right before it all went to shit, when Roger was still around. The first girl he had a crush on, the girl he promised to see again. It’s you.

“Well, I didn’t know their names!” you exclaimed to an incredulous Luffy. “They called me Gale. Like Nightingale, one was Cardinal, and the other was Peacock! We thought we wouldn’t miss each other as much after they left if we didn’t know names. Didn’t work, but it’s what we thought.”

“Why didn’t you go with them if you liked them so much?”

You sighed, taking a pause before speaking. Buggy straightened up a bit. “I wanted to. I always liked being a pirate and everything. I just…I had-still have responsibilities. I have my duties; I must serve my family.” Lame excuse, if you ask Buggy, but what can you do?

‘I…think one of them was your Red-Haired Shanks.’

And of course, you remembered Shanks, not him.

[vaiisravana]

Looking Back ;

A self-soothing, transdimentional talk with myself. This is a work by a fictive in a system, and I would like to put it here so that I can flesh this blog out with who I am a bit more, as opposed to just being a reblog pit. Anyone, of course, is free to read if they wish.

Word Count : 2750

"What's it like?"

The hill is quiet. There's a gentle breeze that rustles the leaves of the sakura tree behind us, and the grass sways in its presence, but it's quiet. You can't hear the people nor the cars nor the children like you usually can. The world is still. The sun remains at a fixed point, low in the sky, in eternal set. Waiting. Watching, maybe.

I sit in it as I think. We don't look at each other, we just stare forward beside one another. My legs are crossed. She has one out in front of her and is leaning on the other, bent to her chest. She does turn to me after a bit of silence. She does command an answer, but she doesn't mean to. She expects one and makes that apparent with just the tilt of her head, but she doesn't mean to be demanding. Her aura isn't her fault.

"It's tough," I say finally. "It's nice in a way, but tough."

"I think that's true for anywhere, and any life. Especially a human one."

"Yeah… I mean." I take a breath and hold it, trying to figure out what I want to say, and how I want to say it. "I like humanity. Even with its flaws I'd say I like it. I still feel kinda like an outsider, even as one'uv'em. I have all the weaknesses n flaws of a human and yet they still feel beyond me."

Her face falls a bit. "I see… So it isn't so simple as integration, then."

I shake my head. "I still feel. Like you feel. That intense, all consuming way of feeling? Where everything is everything all the time. I feel joy, n sadness, n anger, and they all feel turned up all the way. I feel everything as fully as my lungs take in air, or my blood runs through my veins. I am nothing if not my emotions, I think."

"I've been told it's different. That a God cannot feel the way a human feels."

"If that's true, then I haven't changed. I think you've been super lied to, though. I mean. I feel your pain still sometimes. In all its intensity."

"... I'm. Sorry to hear that."

"I don't mind. It reminds me that… I'm not totally different from you. Even though I feel like I am."

"Do you? You look about the same. Perhaps more American." Her smile is sweet. She has a sense of humor but it's clumsy. I laugh anyway, though not very loudly.

"I'm weak now… And like. Extremely childish. I talk funny, n I can't get outta bed for days sometimes…"

She's quiet. Thinking.

"I can't do shit by myself. I was raised perfectly capable but if I'm alone I get scared. I can't go ta the store without someone with me. I can't eat alone at a restaurant. I'm terrified'a loneliness n stepping outta line in case I break some kinda rule I don't even know about. I'm horrified of embarrassin myself by bein alone, or even just. As a concept. I'm mortified by the idea of embarrassment, and bein an embarrassment, and then I do things like. Scream when I laugh, or sneeze dumb, or stomp my feet n twirl around when I'm happy. I say gurl n like n use my hands too much when I talk. I'm capable of bein serious about stuff but I never sound serious. I can't work a full time job, I'm too exhausted all the time. I fall short'a you… In so many ways… I mean, Jesus Christ I know I'm not a god but I'd like to be able to do the bare fuckin minimum, yanno? Like I wanna provide! I wanna have kids one day! I wanna stand on my own two feet! I want people to look at me like wow! You're so strong and capable and helpful! Not the way they do now… People just… See me as silly. And tired. And like a slacker, I think. I have hardworking friends that are so successful and I can't keep up and I know they think at least some type'a way about that. Even if they don't mean to. I try to inspire myself with you. Maybe if I can just push and push, I'll get there. Maybe I could work two jobs and fix everything. Maybe I could be stronger…"

She rearranges herself. Leans back on her hands and stares at the sky.

"You'd do well to listen well: These things have always been present. The way you perceive yourself right now are ways I've perceived myself since the dawn of time. I've relied on growing amounts of medication to handle my shinki instead of doing the hard but just thing and working out their problems. I've spent hours in hot springs and sleeping instead of protecting my people. I've watched my regalia laugh and play as an outsider who only wished to provide. I wanted to have children, and so I took them in. More than I could carry, in my own desperate desires. And I hurt them.

They didn't know any better than what I told them. I tried and failed to be their guidance. I tried and failed to provide for myself and others, and without Kazuma, or any of my close regalia, I would have squandered what little success I had much sooner. I, too, cannot go out on my own. Without Kazuma I am utterly lost. I've grown dependent not only on him, but on all of my regalia. To walk into any open place without them is to walk into battle without armor."

She stops. Just for a moment.

"We're still the same… You're shorter now, and a bit younger, but you're smarter, too. You're tired, like me. And you fight. And you fail. And you succeed, but you fail."

The silence returns as I take her words in my hands. Roll them between my fingers…

"If you saw me out there, you'd be embarrassed…"

"Why? Because you experience joy? Because you laugh? You sing? You dance? You think I'd be embarrassed by the very things I've longed for? To love, to be loved, and to experience the liberation of humanity?"

I hug myself, pulling my knees up as tears fall from my eyes. "I dunno…"

"I do not find you embarrassing. Nor do I see you as weaker than I am. You are human. You are experiencing human troubles and human joys and you are my experience in a world I have never belonged in."

"I think you belong… Now, and as me… Even when we don't feel like it… Even when we feel like outsiders…"

"...Maybe. I have my place. You have yours. Your strength is not measured by your failures. It isn't even measured by your success. It's measured by your willingness to go on. To get back up, to do it again. I know you have it in you. I know you still get up. You still push, even if it isn't as hard as you'd like to push.

Speaking of… Perhaps I'm no expert, but I think something should be said about not wearing yourself down. I have a bad habit, myself. I put myself in danger, shove myself to the brink, and make matters worse more often than not. To learn what hurts you, and to manage that, is growth. I have yet to learn it myself."

"It feels like quitting… It feels like giving up and taking the easy way, but it hurts so bad to keep going that I…"

"You do as you must. That's okay."

There's quiet again.

"What else have you experienced? Tell me what it's like to be a part of humanity."

I hum. "Sometimes it feels hopeless. Bigger than me, bigger than anyone. Billionaires and corporations run the Earth into the ground and we're helpless to do anything about it. Global warming and oil spills, ocean pollution n air quality, all'a the Earth's problems are blamed on us. On the little guys living bit by bit every day instead'a on those actually ruinin it all. Sometimes it's frustrating. Sometimes someone does somethin or says somethin or is a type'a way n ya just wanna-!" I throttle the air in front of me, shaking it like I'm choking it out.

"A lotta times I am still a lil outside'uv it. People are people n not an individual sometimes. Other times I understand too well, cuz I like psychology so much, and my empathy is too high. And sometimes when I see someone n they piss me off, I feel guilty that I'm not offerin this... Above it all sorta grace I could be offering. But, as a person. As someone involved in it all. As someone who's been bitten time and time again by people that are literally just. Shit. I've had ta learn. I've had ta learn time n place. I still struggle with it. Boundaries and stuff? I struggle with allowing things for too long. But sometimes ya gotta clap back."

"Clap back?"

"Yeah, like. Give em what they gave you. Stand yer ground n stuff."

"I see."

"It's different when people see ya as a person n not a God. They treat you like they would anyone else. That's good in that you can be more vulnerable and expressive, but bad in that sometimes people have bad intentions. It's easier ta hurt another person than it is ta take down a God, yanno?"

"So it's been unpleasant…"

"Not totally. There is a lotta joy. I have friends. I love my baby sibling. I was given the opportunity ta raise em, and I couldn't be prouder of'em, and happier ta be seen as a parent to em even though we're like. Not even 5 years apart. I love music, and performing, and gettin doted on by people who hear me sing. I like ta draw n get invested in my fandoms and my many lil men with glasses."

"Oh?"

"Yeaaah, I got a type. Like BAD it's REAL bad. A man has dark hair and glasses and it's over for me. Green eyes? Done. I'm out. And in love. Head over heels. Then they're smart? That's it. That's it!"

"Speaking of… How is Kazuma?"

"I'm… So lucky ta have him. I mean, it has its own troubles. I have mental illness out the damn wazoo, so havin him as an alter instead'a as a whole other person can be a challenge sometimes. On one hand it's great cuz we can be together all the time, but sometimes I just wanna hold his hand. Or like. Go to the store n have him with me. I'd way rather rely on him than any'a my friends. Not that I don't like em, he just… Actively brings me comfort, whereas most'a my friends just help me do the thing. Does that make sense?"

"I think so…"

"Like if Kazuma were there n we went to the store together I'd be giddy. I'd have a great time! I'd be giggly n bouncy and feel comfortable… But when like. Winter. Takes me. They're just there so everyone sees I'm not alone. I like Winter! They're a great friend! And we've had some fun times together! But it's not the same…"

"I see. I understand. But he's with you? And he's happy? What does he think about all of this?"

"He thinks I'm dumb. Well, I mean, he didn't say it like that, but…

I had this dream last night. It was kinda convoluted, lots was happening, but the basic premise was that I was in like. This videogame, kinda. Like I was the main, playable character in this new world where these lil. Monsters. Were runnin around. Like paint monsters. The Yomi no Koto no Ha is not lost on me here, believe me. They were made'a paint, but they needed ta be destroyed with paint as well."

"Were they phantoms?"

"Not quite. They were really small, and not so brightly colored. They were kinda inky, kinda doodly. Like they were drawn, or made'a liquid paint. It's hard ta explain, I guess. They were specifically minions, though. Made by One Guy ta do his bidding - again, the parallel is not lost on me.

Anyway, I was in like. The tutorial part. Kinda. Where my weapon was bein supplied, and some lil creature guy was tellin me what was up or whatever. And he handed me this brush and said I could create anything I wanted. Anything at all, but only once.

And I made Kazuma."

Her smile is sweet. She knows she would do the same.

"He wasn't quite my Kazuma. He wasn't quite a real Kazuma. He was like an AI in that he had to "download" information about himself. Yeah I gave him life n all but because I crafted him, he wasn't exactly the real deal.

There was a part like. Right after. We walked into the next room and it was like a fancy restaurant. We sat at a table and talked a bit. I introduced myself kinda shyly. I don't remember why it started, but he kept drawin comparisons between us. First physical ones. Then like. Attitude ones. And concept ones. 

You created me. Gave me a name, gave me life, just like she did. That's the line I remember. I remember gettin scared n embarrassed n upset. I had ta take a walk outside because I felt so damn guilty. Like it felt like an honor because I know he loves you so much, but it felt like a lie because I feel like I'm nothing like you.

He met me outside and I cried in his arms. He made another connection. We talked about the times you felt weak. Like you weren't enough… We had a talk kinda like this one. I wish I remembered it in more detail… I would'a liked to have known all'a the comparisons… I think my passion was one? Or like. Something. I don't know.

I know I said it was a dream, but because the whole alter thing, it's pretty likely that if he shows up in my dream, he's actually there. That's why I bring it up. He seems ta think the same things you do."

"And you doubt him?"

"It's less that I doubt him and more that I'm afraid to believe it. It feels kinda like. Pompous? Kinda? To be like I am the reincarnation of a God, actually. Especially when like… I feel like anyone would look between us and laugh. Mostly cuz'a my temperament."

"Then they sorely lack the understanding of how this works, and who I am. To see you live and laugh freely is my greatest relief. To watch you love Kazuma, and talk with him, and work with him not only as a team, but as partners, as proper lovers… It's everything I could have wanted. Watching you laugh, and smile, and twirl and dance… Every time, that is me living out my dreams of living a simpler, more human and more freeing life. A life away from phantoms and the stress of being unapproachable. Away from the status, and the expectations of a War God. It's living my dream of frolicking and dancing in the fields in the sun, cared for by higher powers who love me. It's love. It's a love of being. A love of the world around me, and the new and bright ways I get to experience it. A love of the intimacy. A love of not only my people, but all people, and how wonderful it is to be a part of that.

If no one can understand that, then they simply do not know what it is to be a God.

You are my escape. My vessel of a new, more relaxing life. I know it hasn't been easy. You are not wealthy, you are not in a position of power. But people love you, and they take care of you as you do them. It's all I've ever wanted."

I wipe my eyes again, finally facing her. I sniff and lean against her, and she holds me close with a warm smile.

I am her. I am the life she gets to live. A human life. One with all of the toils and troubles and highs and lows that are ever present but distinctly human.

And she loves that. She loves me.