#yeah in another universe this is what happened

[theonottsbxtch]

99 PROBLEMS | MV1

an: this is literally a crack fic, i had the idea when i was listening to 99 problems by jay-z and i was talking to @iamred-iamyellow please enjoy

summary: max never expected to one day have a 17 year old son. he didn't know he was a father. but now he's got to try and figure out how this nerd is his son. and also teach him how to live a little.

wc: 3.3k

Max never thought he’d be a single dad to a teenage boy, but shit happens.

One minute, he was in Monaco celebrating another podium win, champagne-soaked and grinning for the cameras. The next, there was a seventeen-year-old with his eyes and an attitude to match standing on his doorstep with a duffel bag. His name was Noah—“not ‘Dad,’ just Max”—and he wasn’t here to bond. No, Noah was here because apparently the universe thought karma would be funnier this way.

Max was on the balcony of his Monaco apartment replying to a few emails, the city’s lights flickering like a postcard behind him. He could hear Noah inside, rifling through the fridge, muttering complaints about the lack of “real food.”

“Hey, don’t knock the caviar!” Max called over his shoulder. “It’s got protein!”

“Caviar’s not dinner!” Noah fired back, slamming the fridge door.

Max smirked, chuckling a bit. The kid had a point. The life of a Formula One champion didn’t exactly prepare him for raising a teenager. Most days, it was all jet-setting, high-end sponsorships, and a new girl on his arm by sundown. It was messy, but it was his kind of messy. Now? Now, he had to figure out how to squeeze fatherhood in between the chaos.

“You seriously live like this?” Noah asked, stepping onto the balcony, holding up one of Max’s custom helmets. His tone wasn’t admiration—it was judgement.

“Like what?” Max said, not looking up from his phone.

“You know, like...this. Cars, women, parties. I mean, isn’t it exhausting?”

Max chuckled low, pocketing his phone. “Don’t have time to be tired.”

Noah raised an eyebrow. “Right. So, uh...where do I fit in this circus?”

Max turned, his smirk fading just enough to let a flicker of honesty show. “Haven’t figured that out yet. But we’ll make it work.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Max glanced back at the city below. “Now, go grab a drink or something. Just...not the champagne.”

And that’s how it started: the driver, his kid, and a life moving faster than either of them could control.

Max hadn’t had a conventional childhood and he could tell this kid did, well as conventional as it was to be dropped off at your dad who you’ve never met’s house a few weeks before your 18th birthday.

He thought that maybe while he was here he could teach him a few things, take him to a few races or something. 

Max didn’t really know what to do.

The private gym was tucked into the corner of Max’s penthouse, all sleek machines and floor-to-ceiling mirrors. It was rarely used. Most of Max’s training happened at the Headquarters. or with his team, but Noah had been dragging his feet around the apartment all week, so Max figured a little sweat might do them both some good.

“Alright, kid,” Max said, tossing a pair of dumbbells onto the mat. “Let’s see if you’ve got anything in the tank. Ever lifted before?”

“Sure,” Noah replied, unimpressed. He sat down on the bench press, giving the machine a once-over like he was deciding whether or not to trust it.

Max crossed his arms, watching as Noah pushed through a few hesitant reps. “Not bad. But if that’s your warm-up, we’re in trouble.”

Noah glared, setting the weights down with a clink. “Not all of us need muscles for a living.”

Max laughed. “Touché. So, what do you do for fun then?”

“Fun?”

“Yeah, fun. You know, like hobbies, friends, maybe a girlfriend?”

Noah shrugged, grabbing a water bottle. “Not much. I play some video games, read, I guess. Nothing crazy.”

“Read?” Max frowned. “What, no parties? No sneaking out? You don’t go out?”

“Go out where?” Noah’s voice had that dry teenage edge to it. “I’m seventeen. I lived in America my whole life. You can’t even get into a bar without a fake ID there.”

Max froze mid-stretch, eyebrows shooting up. “Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me you’ve never had a drink?”

Noah gave him a look like he’d just asked if the sky was blue. “No?”

Max stared at him, dumbfounded. “God. If only you knew what I was doing at your age when my dad had his back turned.”

Noah rolled his eyes. “Oh, let me guess. Clubbing in Paris. Drinking champagne with supermodels. Living the dream?”

“Belgium, but close,” Max said, leaning against the bench press. “Keg parties in the back of some guy’s trailer in Hasselt. Terrible beer, worse decisions, and my trainer yelling at me the next morning. Still, though. I can’t believe you’re seventeen and haven’t even had a sip.”

“I mean, it’s not a big deal,” Noah muttered.

“Not a big deal?” Max barked out a laugh. “Mate, by seventeen, I’d already figured out my go-to drink order. Vodka tonic. Not classy, but it got the job done.” He leaned in, his grin borderline mischievous. “We’ve got some work to do.”

Noah held up his hands, shaking his head. “Oh no. You’re not turning this into some wild ‘how to live’ project.”

Max raised his eyebrows, mock-innocent. “Hey, I’m just saying. Gotta live a little.”

“Maybe I don’t want to end up like you,” Noah shot back.

Max laughed again, but this time it came quieter, almost thoughtful. “Trust me, buddy. Nobody ends up like me. Now, come on. Two more sets, and then I’ll show you how to make a proper protein shake. Don’t worry—I won’t spike it.”

Noah snorted, shaking his head as he got back to work. It was just another morning, another disagreement, but Max couldn’t help feeling like they were inching closer to something real. Something like family.

By the end of the week, Noah was starting to think his dad was running some kind of unofficial competition.

On Monday, it was Marie. She was Monegasque, blonde, and talked like she was auditioning for a perfume ad. “Bonjour, mon cher,” she’d purred at Noah, ruffling his hair like he was ten. Max had barely noticed her leave, too busy scrolling his phone for his next big sponsorship deal.

Tuesday brought Yasmin, a Brazilian model who walked around the apartment in Max’s oversized shirt, pretending not to notice Noah glaring at her from the couch. She’d tried to make conversation, something about school and books, but Noah had just shrugged until she gave up.

By Wednesday, it was Clara, who had an annoying laugh and kept calling Max “babe” like they’d been married for years.

Thursday was a whirlwind—two girls, both of whom Max forgot to introduce. One of them waved awkwardly at Noah as they left, heels clicking on the tile floor.

By Friday, Noah wasn’t even fazed. He sat at the kitchen counter, eating cereal while Max brewed coffee, shirtless and looking entirely too smug for a guy running on five hours of sleep.

“How?” Noah finally said, his spoon clinking against the bowl.

Max glanced over his shoulder, eyebrows raised. “How what?”

“You know.” Noah waved vaguely toward the hallway where yet another pair of heels had disappeared moments ago. “Them. How do you...?”

Max chuckled, shaking his head as he poured his coffee. “Not that complicated.” He took a sip, leaning against the counter like he was about to deliver some ancient wisdom. “They like fast cars and big dreams. I’ve got both.”

Noah squinted at him. “Yeah, but don’t they know what they’re getting into? Like...you’re not exactly giving ‘dad of the year’ vibes.”

Max laughed, the sound echoing through the kitchen. “Oh, they know. Trust me, they all think they’re the one who’s gonna ‘change me.’” He set his mug down, smirking. “Spoiler alert: they’re not.”

Noah frowned, stirring his cereal. “Doesn’t it get old?”

“What?”

“The whole thing. Girls coming and going. Don’t you ever want...I don’t know, something normal?”

Max tilted his head, studying him for a second. “Normal’s overrated. Besides, why are you so interested? You got someone back in the States?”

Noah snorted. “No. Not unless you count my English teacher who used to give me extra credit just to stop talking in class.”

Max grinned, pushing off the counter. “Smart kid. Learn from me, though—don’t waste your charm on teachers. Save it for someone who can actually keep up.”

Noah rolled his eyes, standing up to put his bowl in the sink. “You’re insane.”

“And yet,” Max said, raising his coffee in a mock toast, “I’m still your dad. Crazy how that works.”

Noah shook his head, walking out of the kitchen. But as he headed toward his room, he caught himself smirking. Max was a mess—there was no denying that. But, annoyingly, there was something kind of fascinating about watching him pull it off.

He had to give him some respect. Three time world champion but he lived his life like an unbothered bachelor that didn’t have a multi-million contract under his belt.

Two days later, Max was standing in front of his wardrobe, trying to decide between a black shirt and a white graphic tee. He ended up tossing the black top onto the bed, shrugging into the white tee. His phone buzzed on the nightstand—a message from the group chat reminding him that their table was already reserved at Jimmy’s.

Max grabbed his watch and headed toward the living room, adjusting it as he walked. Noah was sprawled on the couch, scrolling his phone with the kind of disinterested focus only teenagers could pull off.

“You wanna come?” Max asked casually, pulling his car keys from the counter.

Noah didn’t even look up. “I’m seventeen.”

Max leaned against the doorway, a smirk tugging at his lips. “And I’m Max Verstappen.”

Noah gave him a deadpan look. “Yeah, that’s not how laws work.”

Max stepped into the room, tossing his keys in the air and catching them with one hand. “Relax, kid. You’re with me. No one’s checking your ID.” He raised an eyebrow, adding, “Unless you want to stay here and eat more cereal while I’m out having the time of my life.”

Noah hesitated, sitting up slightly. “What, and hang out with you and your harem of club girls? Hard pass.”

Max grinned, crossing his arms. “It’s not just girls. My friends will be there. Good music, good drinks, a little chaos. You could use some chaos.”

Noah snorted. “I don’t think I fit your ‘chaos’ aesthetic.”

Max walked over and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “That’s the beauty of it. You don’t have to fit. You just show up, keep your head up, and let the good times come to you. Trust me, kid—it’s not rocket science.”

Noah looked at him, torn between scepticism and curiosity. “And if I hate it?”

“Then you call it a night, and we’ll come back. No harm, no foul.” Max shrugged. “But at least you’ll know what you’re missing.”

Noah sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Fine. But if anyone tries to buy me a drink, I’m out.”

“Deal.” Max grinned, slapping him on the back. “Now, go change. You’re not wearing that.” He gestured vaguely at Noah’s hoodie and sweatpants.

“What’s wrong with this?”

“It’s not wrong; it’s tragic. Go put on something that says, ‘I’m seventeen, but I could still be cooler than you.’”

Noah rolled his eyes but got up and headed toward his room. Max leaned back against the couch, chuckling to himself. This was either going to be a disaster or the most fun he’d had in weeks.

Fifteen minutes later, Noah emerged in dark jeans and a plain black t-shirt. It wasn’t flashy, but it worked.

Max whistled. “There you go. Almost looks like you know what you’re doing.”

“Don’t push it,” Noah muttered, grabbing his jacket.

“Alright, kid,” Max said, swinging an arm around his shoulders as they headed for the elevator. “Welcome to the good life. Try to keep up.”

Jimmy’z was everything Noah expected and nothing he was prepared for. The place was loud, packed, and drenched in neon lights that pulsed to the bass of some remix he didn’t recognise. Max walked in like he owned it, breezing past the bouncers and slapping hands with a few familiar faces on his way to their table.

The VIP section was cordoned off with velvet ropes and framed by floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the city. A couple of Max’s friends were already there, leaning back with drinks in hand, laughing at some story one of them was telling.

Max clapped a hand on Lando's shoulder, said something about ordering another round, and then turned to Noah with a grin. “Alright, kid. First drink’s on me.”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to drink?” Noah muttered, looking around nervously.

“You’re not supposed to get caught drinking,” Max corrected, flagging down a waitress. “Two rum and cokes. Easy on the rum for him,” he added with a wink.

Noah sat awkwardly, trying to ignore the curious glances from Max’s friends. When the drinks came, Max slid one across the table. “Here. Cheers.”

Noah picked up the glass and took a cautious sip, immediately grimacing. “This tastes like gasoline.”

Max burst out laughing, nearly spilling his own drink. “Yeah, it’s not exactly a milkshake, but you’ll get used to it.”

Noah frowned but kept sipping, each drink slightly less terrible than the last. By the time the glass was empty, he didn’t hate it—but he definitely wasn’t in a hurry for another.

“Alright,” Max said, leaning back and draping an arm over the back of the booth. “Time for your next lesson.”

“Lesson?”

“Yeah.” Max grinned, nodding toward the dance floor where a group of girls was laughing and swaying to the music. “How to get a girl.”

Noah blinked at him. “I’m seventeen.”

“And you’re eighteen in three weeks,” Max shot back, smirking.

Noah raised an eyebrow. “How do you even know that?”

Max sipped his drink, looking almost offended. “I pay attention. I’m not that bad of a father, you know.”

Noah snorted. “Debatable.”

“Hey, come on,” Max said, leaning forward and pointing at him with his glass. “I’ve got three weeks to turn you into someone who doesn’t spend prom night sitting in the corner playing Angry Birds. Let me work my magic.”

“I didn’t go to prom,” Noah mumbled.

“Exactly my point.” Max gestured to the dance floor. “Now, watch and learn.”

Noah shook his head, but he couldn’t help smirking. Watching Max in his element was like watching a lion stalk the savanna. Ridiculous, over-the-top, and somehow annoyingly effective.

Noah leaned back in the plush booth, his gaze flicking nervously between the drink in his hand and the dance floor. “This feels illegal,” he muttered under his breath.

Max, already halfway through his second rum and coke, let out a loud laugh that turned a few heads. “Illegal? We’re in Monaco.” He gestured broadly at the glittering club around them, as if the name alone erased all laws. “The girls here don’t care how old you are, as long as you’re pretty enough.”

Noah raised an eyebrow. “And what if I’m not?”

Max leaned forward, smirking. “You’re my son, so of course you are. Trust me, kid, you’ve got the genes. Now, you just need the confidence to back it up.”

Noah rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the faint flush creeping up his neck. “Yeah, sure. Because confidence is something you can just magically summon.”

“Exactly,” Max said, snapping his fingers like it was that simple. “It’s all in the attitude. Look, you don’t need to be the smartest or the funniest guy in the room. You just need to act like you know something they don’t. Makes them curious. Curiosity’s half the battle.”

Noah stared at him, unimpressed. “That’s the dumbest advice I’ve ever heard.”

Max grinned, sitting back and gesturing to the waitress for another round. “And yet, here I am. Multi-millionaire. World champion. Living proof it works.”

“Yeah, but you’re—” Noah hesitated, then gestured vaguely at Max’s whole presence. “You.”

“Exactly. And you’re half me. Which means you’ve already got a head start.” Max leaned in, lowering his voice like he was letting Noah in on a secret. “Here’s the trick: don’t overthink it. If you go out there looking like you’ve got something to prove, you’ll scare ‘em off. Just...be cool.”

“Cool,” Noah repeated, deadpan. “Got it. Thanks for the groundbreaking advice.”

Max smirked, pushing his chair back and standing up. “Fine. Don’t believe me. But if I come back with two numbers before you even finish that drink, you’re buying me breakfast tomorrow.”

Noah shook his head as Max strolled off toward the dance floor, impossibly confident and infuriatingly charismatic. It was hard not to admire it, even if it made him feel like an awkward kid in comparison.

He stared down at his empty glass, debating whether to order another drink or just leave, when a girl about his age walked past and glanced his way. She gave him a small smile, and Noah froze, his heart racing.

Max’s words echoed in his head. “Just act like you know something they don’t.”

Noah took a deep breath, set his empty glass on the table, and stood up. His palms felt clammy, and every nerve in his body screamed at him to sit back down. But then he caught Max watching from the floor with an infuriating smirk before turning to whichever woman he was talking to this time.

Don’t overthink it, Noah reminded himself. Just be cool.

The girl was standing near the edge of the dance floor with a friend, laughing at something on her phone. She looked up as he approached, her eyes flicking over him in curiosity.

“Hey,” Noah said, trying to sound casual. “You looked like you needed saving from a bad joke.”

She raised an eyebrow, amused. “Oh? And you’re the knight in shining armour?”

“Something like that,” Noah said, stuffing his hands into his pockets to keep from fidgeting. “Or at least I’m not the guy who made you laugh like that.”

Her smile widened, and her friend nudged her playfully before disappearing toward the bar. “Smooth,” she said, tilting her head. “Do you use that line often?”

“First time, actually,” Noah admitted, his lips twitching into a nervous grin.

The honesty seemed to win her over. They started talking—light, easy banter—and before Noah knew it, she was laughing at something he’d said about his dad being a “professional bad influence.”

From the booth, Max had a clear view of the whole thing. He nudged Lando, grinning like a proud idiot. “Lan, look!” He pointed toward the dance floor. “The son of a bitch did it!”

Lando squinted, then let out a low whistle. “Damn. Didn’t think he had it in him.”

Max chuckled, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his seat. “He’s my kid. Of course he’s got it in him.”

Noah returned to the table a while later, looking flushed and slightly dishevelled. His lips were swollen, and there was a faint lipstick smudge on his cheek.

Max raised his glass in a mock toast. “Atta boy!”

Noah slid into the booth, trying to suppress a grin. “Don’t make it a thing.”

“Oh, it’s already a thing,” Max said, slapping him on the back. “You’re officially part of the club now.”

Lando smirked. “Better keep an eye on him, Max. He’s almost got more potential than you.”

“Potential? He’s a damn prodigy,” Max joked, laughing. “First drink, first girl, all in one night. Kid’s got a better batting average than I did at his age.”

Noah rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling. As much as his dad’s teasing drove him crazy, there was something undeniably cool about seeing Max so proud.

“Alright,” Max said, clapping his hands together. “Now that you’ve got your feet wet, let’s see if you can do it again.”

Noah shook his head, laughing. “Not a chance. One’s enough for tonight.”

“Fair enough,” Max said, leaning back with a satisfied grin. “But just so you know—you’ve officially graduated from boring.”

For once, Noah didn’t argue.

the end.

[ham1lton]

SIMPLE !

pairings: jude bellingham x lewis hamilton’s assistant!reader

summary: after your first few dates with jude, everything seems to be going smoothly. however, there’s just one problem: your boss seems to hate your new boyfriend.

warnings: judeyn being dumbasses.

author’s note: part of my dream girl universe. for best enjoyment, read after the first instalment. assistant2 also makes her first official appearance!!

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📍 berlin, germany.

tagged: judebellingham

liked by ham1ltonshaderoom, jobebellingham and 2,837,918 others.

yourinstagram: the photos he takes of me vs the one i take of him. i think you all can see the better photographer.

view all 1,108,928 comments

user1: LOVE seeing hot people date each other.

-> user11: i love seeing two hot people be BESTIES.

user2: JUDE IS TAKEN ???!!!! NOOOOOOO

-> user3: babe… you didn’t have a chance at all. like please be serious.

-> user13: thank god they aren’t actually dating tho.

user4: my gf <3

-> judebellingham: who even are you.

-> user4: we can share <3 i can keep her satisfied thru the weekend u have the weekdays king.

jobebellingham: love this yn. he looks so depressed and ugly.

-> judebellingham: U JEALOUS ASF 😹

-> jobebellingham: yn i’ll paypal you £50 rn if you post more ugly pictures. which is all his pictures really.

-> yourinstagram: challenge accepted 🫡

lewishamilton: you look good yn!

-> user5: and what about jude??

-> lewishamilton: what about him?

-> user6: NOT YN’S HUSBAND HAVIN BEEF W/ HER BFF 😭

user7: lip combo?!!??

-> yourinstagram: i’m not a gatekeeper. it’s on my tiktok!! my most recent one <3

user8: you did my king so dirty with that one pic…. LMFAO DO IT AGAIN

-> yourinstagram: 🫡🫡

user10: their friendship is so cute!!

user12: yn is moving up in the world!!! from bts delulu to besties with JUDE BELLINGHAM

-> yourinstagram: blocking you! 😃

-> user12: you can block me but you can’t erase ‘hobisbabymama’

-> yourinstagram: HELLO?2&/9£/

user9: WHERE IS LANDO?!

-> user10: she blocked his main and his ten other side accounts because she’s secretly in love with him and wants to leave loser jude for him.

-> user9: hi lando 😁

user10: no roscoe pic?

-> yourinstagram: sorry babe :(( he’s at home with his dad and i’m on holiday. assistant2 has some highlights of him on her page!! <3

judebellingham: why do i look so depressed

-> yourinstagram: idk <3 want to get ice cream?

-> judebellingham: .. yeah

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title: my girlfriend’s boss (l,39) hates me and it’s ruining my relationship. help?

hi all, i don’t really post on here, but i’m at my wit’s end and need advice. i (j, m21) have been dating my girlfriend (y, f24) for a couple of months now, and it’s been brilliant. she’s smart, funny, beautiful, and honestly the kindest person i’ve ever met. here’s the catch: her boss (l, m39), who also happens to be an insanely famous athlete and very wealthy, clearly hates me.

y works as his personal assistant, and from what she’s told me, l has always been good to her. she’s known him for years, and he’s helped her out a lot in her career. she always says he’s like family, but ever since she introduced me to him, he’s been awful.

it started small, like him calling me “mate” in that condescending way that makes you feel about two feet tall. but last week, i went to pick y up from work, and he gave me this look—you know the type, the kind that says, “you’re not good enough to breathe the same air as her.” i tried to play it off, but it’s eating at me.

another time, we ran into him at a café, and he made this offhand comment about how “footballers aren’t known for their brains.” y tried to laugh it off, but i felt like an absolute idiot.

then there was the incident with the tickets. y mentioned she’d been offered two box seats for a big match, courtesy of l, and we were both so excited to go. but when she told him i was going with her, he suddenly “remembered” he’d promised them to someone else. i know it sounds paranoid, but it feels deliberate.

to make matters worse, y thinks i’m overreacting. she says l is just protective of her because they work closely together, but i can’t help but feel like there’s more to it. she brushes off his weird behaviour, but come on—this is the same man who asked her to taste-test a box of chocolate truffles because he couldn’t decide which to order for himself. (weird, right?)

it’s not just the comments, though. y told me l doesn’t usually care who his staff date, but she mentioned he’s suddenly started asking loads of questions about me, like whether i’ve been in trouble before or if i’m serious about her. it’s like he’s looking for a reason to disapprove. y thinks he’s being protective, but i swear he just doesn’t like me. here’s the problem: i’m pretty sure he hates me. actually, scratch that—i know he hates me.

i’m spiralling here. what if l starts sabotaging our relationship? y says she’s not going anywhere, but i can’t shake the feeling he’s got some weird power over her. am i just being insecure, or is there something seriously wrong here? what do i do?

top comments:

soggy_pigeon: nah, this is classic alpha behaviour. he’s marking his territory. he probably sees her as more than just an assistant, if you know what i mean. tread carefully.

fluffybananas: footballers aren’t known for their brains. maybe he has a point.

spicy_gravy: dude, he’s probably jealous you’ve got abs and a girl who loves you. chill.

randomuser_123: sounds like you’re dating your boss’s work spouse.

tofu_throwaway: i think l’s just jealous because y spends more time with you now. he’s like a toddler upset that someone’s playing with his favourite toy.

ladybantheboys: ok but what if it’s the opposite? like, what if l approves of you but is being mean on purpose to test if you’re good enough for her?

football4ever: j, mate, you’re overthinking. l’s just a famous bloke who doesn’t want to lose his assistant to some random guy. show him you’re not random. take him out for a pint or something.

memequeen420: this reminds me of when i had a cat and got a new dog. the cat hated the dog at first but now they’re best friends. just give it time.

plshelpme1998: have you tried googling “how to win over your girlfriend’s boss”? there’s bound to be a wikiHow.

bananabreadbae: mate, if he wanted her, he’d have made a move by now. maybe he just doesn’t like footballers. not everyone does, you know.

user2847: honestly, the truffle thing makes me think he’s the weird one. does he do this with everyone or just y? if it’s just her, he’s probably got some weird older-brother complex going on.

ultimategoblin69: maybe he wants to adopt you. famous people do weird shit like that.

yogurtbutter: ok but what if you’re the problem? maybe you’re just a bit annoying and he senses it. famous people have great instincts.

iamnotanon: have you considered sabotaging him back? like, nothing serious, but maybe show up in a better suit than him one day. alpha vibes only.

opinionatedowl: this is a power thing. l’s rich and famous, and he’s used to being in charge. stand your ground, but don’t disrespect him. he’s probably testing you.

thecheeseman: it sounds like a bad rom-com where l secretly approves of you but can’t admit it because he’s emotionally constipated. if i were you, i’d play the long game.

spicywaterlover: wait… what if l is secretly in love with y and you’re the obstacle? plot twist.

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edit: wow, ok. this has been a ride. thanks for all the comments, even the wild ones. i think i’ll try the “pint” suggestion, but i draw the line at sabotage. will update if anything changes (or if i get adopted).

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liked by messyassuser, lando11priv and 1,938,882 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: football star jude bellingham seen cuddling and being affectionate with his new girl! she has been identified as yn yln, she is the personal assistant of f1 icon lewis hamilton. they were spotted outside a restaurant in las vegas after the grand prix all boo’d up! according to sources, they were all loved up at the after party. they ‘didn’t leave each other’s space’. what do we think about this new couple ham1ltons?

view all comments

user1: who tf even is she

-> user2: a baddie. she’s seriously so funny and sweet. you guys should see her tiktok or insta pages. jude is punching above his weight.

user3: oh!

user4: HOTTIES!!!

user5: why they doing the most in public???

-> user6: they’re in love? girl lmao.

-> user7: she’s his beard or he’s hers. idk yet. i need to consult the stars.

-> user8: ^ me when i’m off my meds.

user9: am i the only one who thinks they’re cute? good for them!!

user10: um i think she’d be happier with lando.

-> user11: lando please how are you still making new accounts.

-> user10: i’m totally not the handsome and gorgeous lando. i’m actually… pando. hi.

user12: my gf and my bf are dating??? i’m gonna be sick.

-> user13: they got two hands.

user14: they’re rlly dating???

-> user15: no bitch. they’re just coworkers 🙄

-> user14: oh! thank you :D

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UPDATE: my girlfriend’s boss (l,39) hates me and it’s ruining my relationship. help?

hi all, it’s j again. thanks for the advice on my last post—it was a mix of helpful, hilarious, and… well, a bit unsettling. but it gave me the push i needed to talk to l. here’s what happened:

i decided to man up and ask him out for a pint to clear the air. i figured it was the most normal thing to do. well, turns out l’s teetotal (thanks, y, for not warning me properly). when i suggested a pint, he just looked at me for a second and went, “i don’t drink, mate,” in that calm, terrifying way he has. i panicked, said something about tea, and left feeling like an absolute idiot.

but two days later, he called y at work and told her to invite me round to his place for tea. TEA. this man lives in a house that looks like it’s straight out of a Bond film, so you can imagine how intimidating it was to rock up with a packet of biscuits like some budget offering.

long story short, we had tea, and he cleared the air. he admitted he’d been giving me a hard time because he wanted to make sure i was serious about y. he said she’s like family to him (didn’t say “work spouse,” thank god), and he needed to know i’d treat her right. honestly, it was a bit awkward, but also kind of sweet.

so yeah, we’re good now. he even said he’d save me a seat for the next big race. i don’t know if that was a peace offering or a power move, but i’ll take it.

thanks for the push, reddit. you lot are mad, but in a good way. most of the time.

comments:

ladybantheboys: told you he was testing you! this is literally every rom-com ever. next step: you accidentally bond over an inside joke, and he becomes your biggest fan.

bananabreadbae: this is so british it hurts. “sorry i was mean, let’s have tea.” mate, at least you passed the test!

football4ever: called it! blokes like him just want to make sure you’re solid. now you’re in his good books, you’re set for life. congrats, mate.

memequeen420: so… what kind of biscuits did you bring? was it something boring like digestives, or did you go all out with hobnobs? we NEED to know.

randomuser_123: this is like when my dog hated my boyfriend at first but then they bonded over cheese. sometimes it just takes time.

tofu_throwaway: glad it worked out, but honestly, i’m still a bit scared of l. even through your post, he sounds like he could crush a man with a single stare.

iamnotanon: congrats on passing the test. now don’t mess it up, or i guarantee he’ll make you disappear. rich people have connections.

ultimategoblin69: you went to his house?! are you sure it wasn’t a trap? like, did he subtly scan your fingerprints for future blackmail material?

plshelpme1998: like, this whole thing is giving weirdly protective father vibes. good luck, mate.

user2847: what does his house smell like? no, seriously. i feel like rich people’s houses have that “old money” smell, like leather and expensive wood polish. was it intimidating?

(deleted): send feet pics.

opinionatedowl: so… when’s the wedding? i’m assuming l will walk her down the aisle now that you’ve been knighted into his inner circle.

thecheeseman: this is the most British solution ever. “i made you feel terrible, but here, have some earl grey, and now we’re mates.” glad it worked out though!

memequeen420 (again): STILL no answer on the biscuits. j, you’re avoiding the REAL questions here. were they branded or store-brand? did he eat one? this is important.

weirdcookieperson: did he sniff you when you walked in? like, does he have a heightened sense of smell? rich people are weird, man.

alphamale_uk: mate, you handled this all wrong. never apologise, never offer tea, and NEVER back down to another alpha. you should’ve walked in, sat in his chair, and asserted dominance. that’s how you gain respect. next time, bring steak, not biscuits. real men bond over meat, not tea.

j (op): l’s vegan, mate. bringing a steak would’ve been like waving a red flag at a bull. also, this isn’t Planet of the Apes, it’s just tea. chill.

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j (op): wow, i forgot how weird reddit is. for the record: branded hobnobs. because i’m not a monster. no sniffing, no fingertip scanning and i’ll get someone to update you if i go missing. cheers for the laughs.

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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @23victoria @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @yongi-lee @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you don’t wanna be? or you want to be and don’t see yourself? send me an ask!)

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[azzifuddslover]

off the court

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

themes: angst, jealously

tw: swearing (i think that’s all?)

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i had fun with this chapter! excited to continue writing 😋 i had to ofc add the lil dijonai & lyss foul haha. also if u have any one shot suggestions please please lemme know! enjoy

CHAPTER TWO

“oh my goodness, hi!” nika pulled each one of the freshmen into a warm embrace. “we’re so excited to have you guys here!”

we? paige thought to herself, that she didn’t dare speak out loud.

“we’re excited to be here!” caroline smiled at the three older girls, as aubrey and azzi hugged.

paige purposefully put distant between herself and the curly headed brunette, not wanting to start arguments her first day.

“so, where do you guys wanna see next?” aubrey questioned, while paige remained silent, keeping to herself.

“you tell us,” ashlynn said, excitedly.

“alright,” nika slung her arm around paige’s shoulder, “let’s go show you the dorms then.”

as the seven girls made their way to the dorm rooms, azzi walked behind aubrey who led the way, while nika and paige placed themselves in the back.

“you good, p?” nika whispered, “it’s unlike you to be this quiet.”

paige plastered a smile on her face, “all good, nik.”

“no, seriously, what’s up?”

“i’m fine, really. just tired,” she reassured her close friend, gently squeezing her shoulder.

minutes later the girls arrived at the dorms when nika spoke up.

“i think it’s best to divide into groups so we can still get lunch. aubrey, show caroline and yanna your room, paige show azzi yours and i’ll show ash mine.”

of course nika would place azzi with paige. alone.

“um, i’ll take ashlynn,” paige suggested, but it was too late. ashlynn was already off with nika, aubrey was leading carol and yanna to her dorm.

azzi stood awkwardly in the hallway, eyes focused on the floor, as paige glanced once at her before taking off to her room.

“cmon,” she muttered, passing azzi.

azzi was hesitant to follow, but she did regardless, keeping her head low while nerves twisted in her stomach. azzi couldn’t remember the last time she was alone with paige, if ever. the pair have clearly never gotten along, so she was nervous to see where this would go.

paige opened the door to her dorm, that she shared with another teammate, dorka, who happened to be laying in her bed.

“hey dorka,” paige said, announcing her presence along with azzi’s.

“hey p,” dorka looked at her, then at the freshmen, “who’s this?”

“one of the new freshmen, azzi.”

dorka smiled at azzi in a reassuring manner, then pulled her in for a quick hug. “welcome to uconn, azzi!”

azzi gently hugged the older girl back, feeling less nervous with dorka being there. “happy to be here.”

“you’re going to love it. i’m a transfer, and its absolutely amazing. the girls are all so great, geno can be a bit tough, but he means well,” dorka explained.

azzi was genuinely excited for her start at university of connecticut. she’s always kept uconn as an option for her future school, and finally was able to commit just a few weeks ago. she figured it’d be the best fit for her, despite paige being here.

“well, i told lou i’d meet her in the dining hall, so i’ll catch y’all later,” dorka said, grabbing her bag and phone before quickly leaving.

the silent in the small dorm was haunting. paige’s eyes were focused on her phone, while azzi motionlessly stood against the wall, waiting for any sort of conversation.

“so, do you like it here so far?” paige asked, finally breaking the silence.

azzi looked over at paige, “it’s nice, yeah. the girls seem nice.”

“that’s good,” paige replied.

“are you excited to meet-“

“you don’t have to make small talk, paige. we both know you aren’t happy with me committing here,” azzi bite out.

paige scolded her eyes, “you’re right. i’m not happy with you being here. but i can’t change it, can i?”

“nope, you can’t. let’s just ignore each other like we’ve always have.”

secretly, paige didn’t want to ignore azzi. she couldn’t. but she pretended to did it anyway.

“fine by me,” paige shouted, walking towards the door.

“where are you going? this is literally your room!”

“anywhere else but here, with you. go catch up with nika or something,” paige muttered as she left, leaving azzi staring at the door.

it was the first day of practice with the new additions to the uconn team, and paige successfully avoided azzi at all costs. whenever the team got together, they’d always converse with other players, never daring to look each other’s way.

paige brought the basketball up the court during a 5v5 match. she directed the players on her team to her liking, then passed it to lou who made the open 3 shot. aubrey secured the rebound, threw it off to azzi, who began to bring it to the opposing net. paige, of course, was right on her heels, defending her. azzi noticed the blonde from the corner of her eye, looking unbothered as ever.

reaching the 3 point line with paige right there, azzi considers all the potential lanes to the basket. when nika, part of the opposing team, goes to defend aubrey, azzi sprints through an open lane, going for the layup.

paige was quick to notice her plan, though. she blocked the ball from entering the basket, hitting azzi in the process. it was an obvious foul.

“hey, that’s a foul!” azzi shouted.

paige, who’s grinning to herself, adverted her eyes to the brunette. “no it wasn’t, it was clean.”

“bullshit!”

“you’re just mad you can’t make a shot on me,” paige replied.

“please. like i haven’t done it before!” azzi exclaimed loud enough for heads to turn.

“ladies!” coach auriemma interrupted their argument, “make sure to stay after practice.”

for goodness sake, paige thought to herself.

“this is all your fault,” paige whispered, loud enough for only azzi could hear.

azzi simply rolled her eyes at paige’s remark. she wasn’t going to let the older girl distract her further; she’s already done it enough.

practice quickly came to a close; azzi managed to put distance between herself and paige, not wanting to cause any more trouble than she already had.

each one of the basketball players made their way out of the gym, while azzi and paige anxiously remained, waiting for coach.

his office door opened, “come on in.”

paige took the left chair as azzi took the right, both not saying a word. coach auriemma looked pissed.

“your behaviors is unacceptable. if you both want to help this team succeed, we’ll all need to get along, including you two. especially you guys. you both are two of the best players we have, and i’m going to need y’all to quit it with the bickering and focus on the game. am i clear?”

“yes, coach,” paige and azzi say in unison.

“alright then. with that being said, go out to eat with one another. get to know each other. i don’t know what caused your disliking of each other, but it’s got to change immediately,” geno auriemma instructed the girls.

paige’s eyes widen as azzi shifted uncomfortably in her seat, clearly not pleased with his suggestion. but azzi was new, and she only wanted to please her coach.

“that sounds fine by me,” azzi said, despite her brain saying she’d rather do anything else.

paige stole a glance at the younger girl, before also agreeing.

“good. when tomorrow comes around, i better not hear any arguments. and if i do, the pair of you will face further consequences. am i understood?”

paige nodded her head rapidly, “yes coach.”

“so, where do you wanna go?” azzi questioned the blonde after exiting coach auriemma’s office.

paige rolled her eyes, “we aren’t actually going anywhere together. if you thought that, you’re crazy.”

azzi couldn’t help but be slightly shocked that paige would lie to their coach. “paige, i’m not getting into more trouble just because of you. look, i don’t want to go anywhere with you either, but we have no choice. let’s just get it over with.”

paige absorbed azzi’s words, carefully considering them. “alright, fine,” she sighed, “where too?”

“do you like chick fa la?”

“uh, yeah. who doesn’t? that’s like asking if i breath air.”

after a silent car ride with paige driving and azzi being the passenger princess, the two ordered their meals and sat in an open booth, facing one another.

paige continued not to look azzi in the eye. azzi, however, was harshly glaring at the older girl. “are you going to ignore me forever or actually acknowledge we’re teammates?”

paige finally locked gazes with azzi, “i was planning to ignore you forever.”

azzi couldn’t help but softly chuckle, “of course you were.”

paige lips rose at the sight of azzi’s breathtaking smile, “you make it impossible, though.”

“oh, really? it seems you’ve been doing it pretty damn well for as long as i’ve known you.”

paige didn’t dare to tell her that ignoring azzi is the hardest thing someone could do. it wasn’t just her skills on the court, that could make anyone, including paige, second-guess their game. it was the way azzi carried herself, making everything she did seem effortless, even when it wasn’t. her silent confidence and her ability to make everyone feel included even in a busy crowd. paige hated how much she admired the young girl from afar; how looking at azzi made her forget about everything and everyone around her. it was impossible to ignore a girl like azzi.

instead, paige settled on, “you’re just a pretty good player. i always notice good players.”

after swallowing a bite of a chicken nugget, azzi leaned her elbows on the table, a small smirk lingering on her face. “so now you admit to me being good?”

paige couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her comment regarding USA basketball days. “whatever, whatever.”

azzi laughed to herself, and continued to enjoy her meal, while paige also focused on eating rather than the conversation.

azzi and paige eventually relaxed to each other’s presence, feeling more comfortable than before. they discussed the challenging classes they were taking and geno’s firm coaching methods; the girls began to somewhat enjoy each others company, when a boy around their age walked up to their table.

paige and azzi both looked up at the man, who was directly eyeing the brunette. azzi’s cheeks reddened at the sudden attention.

“can we help you?” paige asked, making the man turn to look at her.

“yeah, uh, i was wondering if i could get your number? you’re, like, really pretty,” the man said to azzi.

her cheeks were basically inflamed at this point, “uh,” she tried to think of the words, “sure, i guess?”

paige scoffed at azzi’s interaction with this random guy. they were finally talking and she had to ruin it. paige clenched her fists and suddenly rose from the table, causing the man and azzi to look at her.

“i’m going to the car,” paige announced, taking off before azzi could get another word out.

after paige’s exit, the boy looked helplessly at azzi, beaming regardless of paige’s reaction. he was pretty cute, but azzi didn’t have the time to focus on anything but basketball and her classes.

“i’m kameron, by the way,” he said.

“i’m azzi, but i gotta go, sorry,” azzi replied, trying to hurry out of there as soon as possible.

“wait, your number-“ but azzi was already out the door.

azzi climbed into the passenger seat, immediately aware that this ride will be even more awkward than the one they previously had.

paige’s grip on the steering wheel caused her knuckles to turn white. when azzi noticed, she softly asked, “are you okay?”

“are you kidding me, azzi? we were finally getting along and you had to ruin it by giving some dude attention. what the actual fuck?”

“it wasn’t my fault he came up to me!” azzi shouted at paige.

“you could’ve said no! but instead you agreed right in front of me!”

azzi gaped at paige, “why do you care who asks me for my number?”

“i don’t!” paige answered defensively, although it was a complete lie.

“what are you, jealous?”

paige’s cheeks tinted at her comment, “don’t be silly, azzi.” she turned on the car and began driving down the road.

arriving back on campus, paige instantly took off without as much as a glance at azzi. after their short argument in the car, paige blasted music to avoid further comments from azzi.

azzi scrolled into her dorm that she shared with caroline, letting out an aggravated sigh.

“you good, girl?” carol asked azzi, with her eyebrows drawn together.

“yeah. coach auriemma made me and paige go out to eat, trying to make us get to know one another. complete bullshit, if you ask me.”

“why don’t y’all like each other, anyway?” carol questioned her friend.

“i don’t know! i have no idea what i did to her. she’s hated me ever since USA basketball,” azzi complained.

caroline looked around in confusion. “wait, so what went down when you guys were out?”

“we were actually talking, without arguing, and a guy came up, asking for my number. paige just got up and left. then in the car, she got all pissing and screamed how i said yes ‘right in front of her,’” azzi made quotations with her fingers.

caroline laughed at azzi’s explanation. “what?” azzi smiled.

“she was jealous!”

although azzi accused paige of being jealous earlier, she didn’t exactly believe it to be true. how could paige be jealous of someone hitting on azzi? she hated her.

“no, trust me, she wasn’t. she was just upset for some reason.”

“oh my god, she’s totally in love with you or something,” carol suggested as azzi turned pink.

“caroline, she’s not. she’s constantly avoiding me and is always mean. does that really should like her liking me?”

carol held out her hands like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “um, yes!”

azzi couldn’t comprehend how caroline got the impression that paige was in love with her. that was beyond crazy. paige’s hatred for azzi has been going strong ever since USA basketball tryouts. there was just no way.

practice the next day was going smoothly; paige and azzi didn’t interact much, like the usual, which didn’t cause geno to enable further consequences for the young girls. azzi was showing off her 3 point shooting skills, while paige continued to be an assist machine.

it was time for another 5v5, and of course paige and azzi were on opposing teams. azzi drained 3 after 3, getting impressive looks from her teammates as well as the two coaches.

a long rebound ended up near the 3 point line, to which azzi managed to secure it. however, she didn’t see the older blonde who was also going for the rebound right behind her. paige crashed into azzi, knocking her to the floor face first. paige maintained her standing position, with each one of her legs around azzi’s torso.

without thinking, paige reached down to place both hands on azzi’s hips, gently pulling her up. azzi’s ass was flush against paige’s front, sending unwelcome feelings throughout the blonde’s body.

there’s a brief moment of awkward silence, azzi still slightly disoriented from the fall. paige’s hands lingered on azzi’s hips a second too long, not that azzi made any hint to move them. she can feel the older girls hands on her body, steady and warm, making her heart skip a beat in her chest.

“you good?” paige whispered, practically in the curly brunette’s ear, given the distance between the girls.

“yeah, thanks,” azzi replied breathlessly, trying desperately to hide the flush creeping up her neck.

after noticing her lingering hands on the hips of azzi, paige removes them acting as calm as possible. paige notices a shift in tone and smirks, teasing the younger girl, “didn’t think i hit you that hard.”

azzi responds with a snark of her own, “i’m not fragile, you know,” attempting to look tougher than she truly is.

paige’s smirk widens as she allows her eyes to take in the sight of azzi. messy bun, leg sleeve, practice jersey slightly ruffled. she looked good.

“like what you see?” azzi commented on paige’s wandering eyes.

embarrassed, paige looks away, “you wish.”

azzi softly chuckles as the freshmen makes her way over to caroline and yanna, ready to continue the 5v5.

in a dais, paige stands motionless in the spot of her and azzi’s interaction, silently wishing she could have one more excuse to talk to her.

but the older girl didn’t, so she walked back into position, ready for the next play to come.

[animeshotsh]

In every universe? | JayVik x Kid!Reader

Notes: ANGST - Timeline is messy as hell but i dont care - Fake with me that Jayce and Viktor finds Kid!reader earlier in terms on time - ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE - Character death - Grammar mistakes - S2 SPOILERS -

Alternative universe of this series

"But why do you have to stay mom?" A young voice asked Jayce who was mumbling while writing.

"Mom's has to work" Viktor softly said petting the youngest hair seeing as Jayce was too focus on the equations to even respond back.

"But, the lab at the Academy is bigger" You said again trying to understand why your dear parents have been working at home more and more.

"This is a sectet project Spark" Jayce responded turning to look at you, a soft tired smile on his face "And you must not tell anyone about it"

"Not even Heimerdinger ?"

"Specially not him" Jayce nodded to himself then to you and Viktor "I will pick you up from school and we can get some ice cream, deal?"

"Yes!!" You responded way too happy

"Alright, we must go if we dont want to be late, I have lectures to give" Viktor reminded both of you, passing you your bag and giving Jayce a kiss, "See you later"

"See you two later"

"Bye mom!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The old beautiful house and lab was now a memory, a horrible explosion replaced it.

Two bodies were found, one from a girl from the old undercity and the other one was Jayce's body.

From that event the division between the cities started to shatter and a new one was born. The place was left untouched, like a memorial of the event that caused the union.

But that for Viktor and you was never enogught.

That day you stayed back at school, Jayce had no showed up so no one could get you. It was almost night time when Skyler did appear with a sour look, you were confused but went with her.

You ended more confused when she took you back to the Academy, a tired Heimerdinger went to you rubbing circles on your back.

Then you saw your dad, Viktor was sitting in front of a cold tea, his hands covering his face. When he hear the footsteps he looked up to see you.

His look, his golden eyes were reddish now, it was all you needed to understand that something terrible had happened.

He got you in a warm and almost possesive embrace, more cries could be hear from him as he hugged you and said multiple times how sorry he was.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Its that day again, right?" Powder asked you giving you a drink as you nodded

"Yeah...Dad is, well he is still working and going but this day just makes it all more difficult"

Powder nodded knowing it was the same for her and the rest.

"You know, it never leaves" She started, repeating what Vander had said all these years back "You just learn to live with it"

~~~~~~~~~

The visit to Jayce's gravestone never got easier, Viktor swear he path got longer each time and his leg pulled him back more and more.

"Dad?"

Your voice broke his toughts, obscure ideas once more, what if in another universe the three of you got to live? See the city change together? Make it a better place?

He knew he was playing with dangerous forces but....but he was sure he was close, close to open a gate to a different place, one where Jayce was still alive and with him, and you were with them, growing and being brillant.

"Im coming Spark" Viktor softly called, the vision of Jayce's gravestone was a reminder that no, not in this universe.

In this universe Jayce Talis was dead, and he was going crazy without him.

[kokiriri]

Time in Emrub vs. The World of Twelve

Soo I was scrolling thru Pinterest and found a manga screenshot that caught my attention.

Now I haven't actually read the Wakfu manga (I need to read it, I know) but I found enough screenshots to piece together an idea of what happened leading up to this scene. From what I've got, the manga covers when Chibi and Grougal are kidnapped by Jiva, the guardian of the months in the Wakfu/Dofus universe. The Brotherhood of the Tofu try to find a way to safely retrieve the Ebony twins and on the way, they stop by Emrub, the dimension where the Eliatrope people live.

Now here's where things get interesting: as shown in both the manga and television series, all the Eliatropes residing in Emrub are children. Qilby mentions that time flows differently in Emrub than it does on the World of Twelve, but not much else is said besides that. This scene in the manga however, sheds more light on just how large the difference is between the two dimensions. The dragon character on the left page asks the Brotherhood "what took them so long" to which Amalia retorts they had only been gone for "a few hours." The dragon then explains that nearly a year had passed on the World of Twelve, which obviously shocks the Brotherhood.

Now what am I getting at? Well, because I was bored and wanted to do something besides my homework, I decided to do a little math to see if the manga accurately explores the difference in time flow between the two dimensions. Keep in mind, a lot of this math is approximate and based on various contextual assumptions, but yeah, let's get into it.

For starters, we know that all the children living in Emrub have resided there since the Eliatrope War that took place thousands of years prior to the events covered in Wakfu. They all are still clearly children when Yugo visits them during his confrontation with Qilby in Season 2, meaning that despite having thousands of years gone by, they haven't really aged at all. There are toddlers amidst the crowd as well, looking around 3-5 years old. Based on this observation, the children couldn't have stayed in Emrub for over 3-5 years, otherwise the existence of those younger children simply wouldn't make sense.

Now, another thing to keep in mind; back in Season 1, Yugo asks the specifics behind his and Adamai's most recent rebirth, to which Grougaloragram explains that since the Emerald twins made the greatest sacrifice during the Eliatrope War, it then took them thousands of years to regenerate wakfu within their dofus. I'm assuming that the Eliatrope children were sent to Emrub shortly before Yugo and Adamai died in combat. This, in part, means that the Eliatropes have lived in Emrub for thousands of earth years. From here is where we apply the math from the manga, as well as where I begin to make some approximations.

For the sake of convenience, I'll be assuming that it took roughly 10,000 years for Yugo and Adamai to reincarnate. I'll also presume that the Brotherhood of the Tofu spent 3 hours in Emrub, since no number is explicitly defined (the only point being made was they spent "a few hours" there, meaning not one, but multiple hours.)

Now let's break it down.

The dragon stated that nearly a year had passed on the World of Twelve while Emrub only experienced 3 hours (again, I'm approximating here.) I'm guessing that "nearly a year" means 11 or so months, but I'll be rounding up to a year because I'm lazy. Therefore, 3 Emrub hours = 1 WoT (World of Twelve) year.

Based on this, 10,000 WoT years = 30,000 Emrub hours. Covert those hours into years, and you get 3.4 years.

During the 10,000 WoT years it took for Yugo and Adamai to be reborn, it was only 3.4 years for the children in Emrub. Pretty crazy.

Here are some other comparisons between the two dimensions to help you wrap your head around the difference:

Sleeping for 9 hours in Emrub takes 3 years on the World of Twelve.

The time it took for Yugo to grow from 0-12 years old on the World of Twelve took 36 hours (or 1.5 days if you prefer) in Emrub.

In the Wakfu OVA, Joris Jurgen is 598 years old. That's 74.75 days (~2.5 months) in Emrub.

And we can break it down even further if you'd like:

15 minutes in Emrub = a month on the World of Twelve

1 minute in Emrub = 2 days on the World of Twelve

1 second in Emrub = 48 minutes on the World of Twelve

(Again, I’m here to remind you that these are all approximations)

These numbers align with what I was discussing earlier -- as the youngest children in the audience appear to be 3-5 years old, 3.4 years is an entirely plausible conclusion. Now, this math is heavily simplified, and I honestly doubt Yugo and Adamai took 10,000 years to reincarnate. ((Grougal's choice to use "thousands of years" as opposed to "TENS of thousands of years" has me thinking that they spent under 10,000 years in their dofus. I simply used 10,000 to show that even at the maximum amount of time Yugo and Ad could've spent in their dofus, the mathematical differences between the two time zones still make sense.)) You get the point.

It's pretty cool to see a piece of media that takes the time to consider details and accuracies like this, because I feel like so often I see plot holes and inconsistencies that books or shows don't bother to cover up. (Don't get me wrong, Wakfu has its fair share of plot holes, it's just nice knowing they took time to think about this small detail.) And although no amount of hours or months are explicitly defined in the canon material, the series recognized that the difference had to be such that the World of Twelve had to experience a year in the time it took Emrub to experience a couple of hours in order for certain developments to make logical sense.

Anyways, that's the end of my insane ramblings. I did this math at like 1 am, so there's a good chance I made a mistake somewhere in my calculations. Don't be shy to correct me if you see any errors or whatever.

[joannasprose]

HI! not sure if youre asking for suggestions but how about a vi x reader who has a cat constantly tailing her, the cat has been with reader for a long time, and the cat hates vi. thank you for your time

hi ! thank you for the ask! I didn’t know whether or not to write this in a modern AU so im gonna do it in the normal universe because that’s what I usually write with Vi ! (I also don’t mind if you guys want any modern AUs for Vi btw)

content warning: none! fluff <3 proofread this time (I know sooo very surprising).

——

It was dark out, as it usually was.

And the streets of Zaun were full and lively as they always were—packed with people, overwhelming conversations, brutes, the usual.

And like always, you clung to VI’s shoulder.

Of course, you could defend yourself decently, you weren’t helpless. You couldn’t be when lived in Zaun. But you weren’t particularly that good at it. And that’s where Vi stepped in. When she wanted to—when she needed to. You didn’t mind, and to be quite honest, you did think it was attractive, so you weren’t complaining.

As the both of turn down the corner of an alleyway, now having you un-hand her side, moving her own to your waist—you hear a familiar, sweet purring.

It’s as familiar as the back of your hand now. As familiar as the sound of VI’s voice.

The feline purrs at your foot when the two of you stop, a smile curls on your lips, “Vi, look!” You say, unraveling from her grasp and crouching down to touch the purring baby.

Your fingers caress her, scratching behind her ear and massaging the top of her head.

“Oh yeah, little miss, I only like you and not Vi because she sucks,” she says, and then, “Hello.” You roll your eyes at your girlfriend’s statement, watching as kitten licks your knuckles.

“Oh hush. She just has to get used to you.”

“Yeah,” she says, “and it’s been like what? Two months now?”

You look up to Vi, gesturing her to crouch down with you. It’s more of an order and not a suggestion, really. As she turns slightly, and squatting down next to you—you pull your hand away from her, and you watch as she practically follows it.

You hadn’t given her a name yet—nor had you taken her in. The two of you were too busy with the cognitives of the undercity, with Powder—everything, the two of you just hadn’t had the time. But she had always found the two of you, always crawling out from the deepest corners of Zaun and greeting you.

You found it cute, like always.

For what felt like the 100th time, Vi reaches out to kitten, and unsurprisingly, after a moment—nips the pad of VI’s finger. She doesn’t recoil, now used to feeling after the fourth time. This time, though, she smiles.

With furrowed brows, you question her, “What happened, why are you smiling?” Her eyes don’t leave the feline, watching carefully, she speaks, “I think she’s warming up to me. She let me touch for like, what? Seven seconds this time.”

You smile, one that uprises unsurpressed and willing.

“You’re right, I think she’s warming up to you. I told you she would.”

Vi stand, stuffing her hands into her pockets and watching as scratch the grey fur of the kitty,

“Isn’t my fault I don’t know what grudge she holds against me.” She murmurs, and you smile. This time to yourself as listen to the purrs of the kitten, and the sounds flickering of street lights.

—

another note: I don’t know if this is good, and I didn’t know how to end it but I hope you enjoy!!

[cybertron-after-dark]

I can't stop thinking about Prime and Rescue Bots sharing a universe. Like what all did the Rescue Bots know about during the war. Do they know about Unicron, Team Prime's base getting destroyed, do they even know Smokescreen exists? Same goes for Team Prime. When did each member find out about the Rescue Bots (if they found out), how often did Optimus think about just letting his Dino-bot side out during a battle, did they worry about M.E.C.H. finding out about them? This universe makes me absolutely feral with things like this and I love it.

Honestly I'm pretty sure they didn't even register Unicron happening because disasters are just the natural state of griffin rock. "Oh another earthquake? Yeah okay, let's go fellas, we got work."

They likely didnt know about the base being destroyed until after they relocated just with how often the bots try to get a hold of team prime and reach nobody until whichever fiasco is happening is over.

They definitely know about most of team prime just with how much they knew about Bumblebee alone, but they likely only learned about Smokescreen if Blades and Bumblebee talk outside of necessary-for-work comms.

Honestly I'm pretty sure all of team prime knows about griffin rock even if they don't get an episode there. If it's restricted information to, say, Arcee and Bulkhead, then its a bit confusing that Optimus would freely reveal it to Bumblebee when he ranks lower. And we know Ratchet is aware of them since he had to help find a cure for the paralytic virus in the first bumblebee episode. I'd guess he debriefed the others on the new bots and the griffin rock project right after they touched down to earth for the first time.

I truly, genuinely, honestly believe Optimus should've gone dinobot mode at some point during prime but either that episode came out after the show already ended or they just did not have the budget to model a full t rex mode. But in the timeline where things lined up just the right way to allow it to happen, please imagine with me: dinobot Optimus vs predaking. T rex vs a dragon. Somewhere in the multiverse, beast wars Megatron is weeping.

As for MECH's involvement, I think it's actually implied Morocco has been selling them tech. There's a nonzero chance Nemesis Prime used a Morbot as a base and they modified it from there after they learned enough about cybertronian anatomy to make a copy of prime.

All in all the Ramifications of these shows being so deeply intertwined has me FUCKED UP and I want to see the two teams hanging out so so so badly. Boulder, Graham and Bulkhead all getting to talking and finding out about Bulkhead's construction experience and being like legitimately hyped that they have that in common, and then Bulkhead having a full on out of body experience because hey wait why are the smart guys treating him like he's One of Them and not calling him dumb? Arcee and Heatwave shooting the shit about how frustrating the people they live with can be, but they still love their teams to death. Both of them snarking at Kade. Blades and Bumblebee being Gay on Main alnd Jack, Raf and Miko clamoring for DETAILS while Dani cheers them on. Ratchet being miserable because by Primus why are there so many humans, three of them is already exhausting, until Cody starts talking to him and he conveniently forgets his plan to go hide out in his room. Chase being out of his depth around Miko, aka Chaos Personified. Optimus, June, Fowler and Charlie just slowwwly forming a Tired Parents Club in the corner.

In conclusion your honor I liek when the funni robot shows crossover :]

[cringecompanionapologist]

Moffat, Sexy Women, and More 80s Who Complaints:

Note: I am a woman and everything I'm saying is my opinion as an individual woman and not an attempt to represent women as a whole. We're like half the world's population. We're not gonna agree on everything.

I'm just gonna randomly say a bit about the Moffat era and women that's sort of a defense in an "this still feels better than other things" sort of way.

Look, I will not deny that the Moffat era (mostly 11's part) has some issues with women. Most of it, at least for me, has less to do with how the female characters are written and more to do with how the male characters address them (Let's Kill Hitler, I'm looking at you).

But, one thing that bothers other people that doesn't bother me as much is the sexualization. This is mostly compared to what came before it.

For me, because sexuality isn't an inherently negative thing, a character of any gender being sexualized isn't automatically a bad thing. It's more of a matter of subject vs. object.

To illustrate my point, let's bitch about 80s Who for a bit.

Now, when I say 80s Who, I'm mostly referring to the Saward Era (seasons 19-23/5th and 6th Doctors). Ace wasn't really sexualized in the same way the companions before her were.

If you dig through this blog, you'll find that this is sort of the third in a miniseries about various issues with 80s companions that mostly come down to something about gender. With Tegan, it's that she's an outspoken woman and treated negatively for it. With Turlough, it's that the EU tries to downplay the more gender-nonconforming aspects of his character, which admittedly mostly happened by accident.

This time, I'm talking about Peri. Peri was heavily sexualized but in a way that I don't particularly like. It ultimately comes down to how the era handles sexuality in general.

JNT was more of a marketing guy than a creative guy, but his ideas of marketing the show ended up contradicting one another. On one hand, he wanted to avoid controversy. Doctor Who had a bit of a history of controversy, though most of it was about how violent it was, something this era of the show clearly did not care about. Instead, the primary JNT/Saward obsession was with sex. It had to be clear that the Doctor did not fuck and never had. But, this sort of extended to the companions as well. 60s and 70s Who would occasionally give companions one-off love interests. This didn't happen a lot, but there was a history of it dating back to The Daleks, where Barbara makes out with one of the Thals for a bit. In 80s Who, the only time a companion got a love interest was right as she was leaving the show and that was a last minute change.

(Side Note: I'd once again like to comment that Doctor Who wrote women better in 1964 than in 1984 and that Barbara is a great character. The worst thing Moffat every did was have Twice Upon a Time trick people into thinking of this era as The Sexist One.)

You might be wondering, "so what? It's a kids show. Of course nobody's gonna be horny!". And yeah. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem is that the show isn't horny, but it is sexy.

What I mean: Horny is sexuality in-universe. It's the characters having sexual attraction and interests. Sexy is sexuality out-of-universe. It's characters being attractive to the audience.

Peri is the ultimate example of this. She's completely normal for this era of the show when it comes to sexuality. It's not really a thing and when it is it leads to almost immediate marriage. But, she's always dressed in revealing outfits. In Planet of Fire, she's on vacation in a warm region, so that makes sense, but she continues to dress that way everywhere she goes.

Peri is sexualized as fanservice for the audience and for villainous characters to leer at to make them more threatening. Her personality doesn't really match her choice of outfits. It's all for the benefit of the audience and a justification for creepy bad guy behavior.

I mentioned before the sexual subject vs. object. A subject does while an object is done to. A subject looks while an object is looked at. When a character's sexuality isn't an aspect of their character, existing primarily as something for the audience and other characters to leer at, she's a sexual object. And that sucks.

The reason Moffat's sexualization of characters like Amy and River doesn't bother me is that they do not have this problem. The women in this era are just as horny as the men. It's clear that these characters are the sort of people who'd choose to wear the outfits they wear. Yes, it's still fanservice written that way due to Moffat's horniness, but the female characters he writes have sexual agency. They're sexy because they're horny. They flirt with people they're attracted to. They're not just being leered at by the audience and other characters. They're looking as well as being looked at. They actively participate in the show's sexuality. They are sexual subjects.

Of course this doesn't work all the time. There's a lot of "men are horny idiots about women" jokes. When it comes to other aspects of female characters, there's a lot of talk of them being overly emotional and focused on romantic relationships. This did get better over time, being less of a thing with Clara and basically not a thing at all with Bill. I think Moffat was aware of the criticism he was getting and learned from his mistakes. But mistakes were certainly made.

But, though Moffat was obviously horny for his female characters, he them sexual agency. It might not be for everyone but it meant that the horniness of the era didn't bother me.

Besides, I'm horny for Moffat's female companions too. Is it morally different because I'm a woman being horny in a gay way?

[yan-springlove]

I SHOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING DOUBTED THE WRITERS WHAT THE FUCK WAS ALL THAT. IM BLOWN AWAY.

2 minutes into the cold open of episode 7 and im on my hands and knees bless them for ekko's storyline im 😭😭😭 ready to cry

Anyways.

There's no season 3, but they still had more things set up for future events like Swain with the crow, Powder from the AU world implied to work on crossing over to our Arcane universe (for Vi and Ekko in our world, most likely), no idea where Jayce and Viktor went (tho most likely dead?? Idk so much was going on I have to rewatch and analyze), a glimpse of Oriana with Singed, Sevika on the council (fuck yeah!!), Mel taking over Ambessa's role and going back to Noxus, Caitlyn looking around the hexgates blueprints (to see where Jinx could have fallen, if there was any possibility she survived? There's a vent around where she was looking I think. Am I coping? Maybe)

I kind of love that they left us to so much imagine what could happen. There's so much material to play around with!!!

And they might just make another show. Most likely centered around Noxus, if it's set in the same world as our Arcane!

[max--phillips]

Okay here goes

First, the spoiler free stuff:

Ridley Scott knows how to make a fucking film.

If I don’t see fics of Acacius x reader x Lucilla I will begin biting

If you are going in it for Pedro, I will warn you his character is very important but kind of… idk, shallow is too strong of a word, but not very fleshed out. I don’t think that’s an issue in the greater scheme of the movie though, it makes sense in the plot and doesn’t feel out of place or bad in the universe.

If you are going in it for Paul Mescal, you will not be disappointed.

Please watch the first movie first. The story will not make any fucking sense if you don’t.

Just the right amount of flashbacks and footage from the first movie . Chefs kiss

Ridley Scott really said “all emperors and tyrants are nasty little freaks with terrible vibes”

Oh also if you’re squeamish about gore and stuff like. It’s a movie about gladiators so set your expectations accordingly. There is an instance of a disembodied head used as a prop. So y’know

Okay, spoilery stuff below the cut

Arishat was hot :( rip

Monkeys at the beginning? Terrible. 0/10 did not enjoy that. Also did not enjoy seeing and hearing Mr. Mescal BITING ONE

I love Ravi I would watch a whole movie just about him tending to gladiators’ wounds quite frankly. Give me that story

We love to see bisexuality on screen (even though that wasn’t a social identity at the time but we’re not here to talk about that) what with the concubines and drunk as fuck Macrinus

Speaking of drunk as fuck Macrinus: that whole scene was so fucking funny. They’re like that meme about people getting high. You know the one

Speaking of Macrinus—Denzel Washington stole the show. When TIME magazine pushed a story to me today headlined “Gladiator II Belongs to Denzel Washington,” I was like, pshhhh, nah. But it really does. It’s not about him? But it’s his fucking show.

The politics . THE POLITICS

It feels a little heavy handed right now but that wasn’t probably how it was intended, given it was made before. Y’know. The election. But the whole dream of Rome being a place where everyone is equal and cared for but you can only whisper it or it’ll shatter? Yeah.

Oh, right, Acacius: that dude is so tired he does NOT want to be there. Let him go home to his hot wife. Alas, his hot wife is the way she is and like… no good deed goes unpunished.

And I fucking called it with my text post a few months ago. Two (2) movies now where Denzel Washington (either directly or indirectly) kills Pedro Pascal. Brilliant

Admittedly selfishly I would’ve liked to see more of him. But it felt like the correct thing in the context of the story. If he didn’t die then, if he wasn’t the inciting event for the uprising of the people of Rome, it wouldn’t have made sense and it would’ve just been fan service and “look, we got Pedro Pascal!” at that point.

I would’ve liked to see a more in-depth exploration of the change in relationship between Lucius and Lucilla—it seems like they went from Lucius screaming at her to get out to them hugging it out without any real development between the two of them specifically. Obviously a lot had happened in the world of the movie at that point but nonetheless

Macrinus shooting Lucilla was his Icarus moment. There was no coming back from that. “But what about Geta” “but what about Caracalla” no. It was Lucilla. If she’d gotten got by the praetorian guards or something else, it would’ve been fine. But because it was Macrinus there was nowhere he could go from there other than [checks notes] getting his hand chopped off and then gutted in a dirty irrigation ditch.

Remember kids, the people in power who are causing all of the things going wrong in the world have names and addresses and are mortal <3

Also another takeaway from the movie: imperialism, religious extremism, ableism, and authoritarianism will be the end of us all <3

Anyway. Good movie. Can’t wait to watch it again in my own home with subtitles so I can actually like… process everything everyone was saying LMAO and take better reaction notes.

I’m still sitting in the theater parking lot it’s been like 30 minutes LMAO okay thanks for coming to my tedtalk or whatever

[shadamyheadcanons]

I'm not sure if they ever gave an official explanation as to why Shadow joined GUN, but I've seen plenty of people say that it's strange he joined the organization that basically ruined his life, and yeah it is weird.

I have come up with a headcanon that explains it though. He joined them to make sure they never do something like they did on the ARK ever again. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer as they say. Not to mention the whole reason that all happened was because GUN wanted him as a weapon. I think he'd be concerned that they might go after his new friends if he doesn't give them the impression that he's under their command.

So he joined, hoping to gain their trust and keep an eye on their activities. Rouge is also in on it, and definitely has hacked into their database to view top secret documents. If they ever find out that GUN is planning another senseless massacre, then Team Dark plans to sabotage it from the inside out.

Not a ShadAmy headcanon specifically, but you could imagine that Shadow would be reluctant to share this information out of fear of being jeopardized. Perhaps it could be used for drama. Have fun writers~!

I really, really like this. It’s my new favorite explanation for something that’s always bothered me about this franchise. Thank you!

It doesn’t just make sense objectively, it matches Shadow’s experiences perfectly. I often say Shadow would cling to Amy because he knows how easy it is to lose someone, but I love the idea of him taking it in a darker direction, too, picking up on the possibility of another tragedy happening and preemptively taking steps to stop it. I think people see Shadow as rash because he’s so extreme in his actions, but that is careful for him. Those aren’t mutually exclusive:

[IDW issues 5 & 6]

Team Dark standing with him is always great, too.

Another thing I like is that it gives Shadow agency. Based on Commander Tower’s behavior at the end of ShTH and his actions in Shadow: Dark Beginnings, Sega seems to want us to believe the Commander is a nice guy who’s good buddies with Shadow:

“Shadow, do you read me? First, I...I want to...apologize, for the other day...actually, I just became a grandfather last week, and I was thinking of maybe having you over.”

Commander Tower, probably: “Sowwy I twied to shoot you, uwu. It’ll never happen again! 🥺”

And, uh...I don’t buy that, frankly...but it doesn’t seem to me that G.U.N.’s keeping him under their thumb, either. As interesting as that concept would have been, I don’t think it’s what Sega’s going for. It lines up better with canon if Shadow’s choosing to stick around for his own ulterior motives. I think having him actively decide to keep G.U.N. close for that reason strengthens his character.

Your headcanon is even stronger now in the wake of Takashi Iizuka’s pre-Shadow Generations interview (which happened after this ask was sent, btw), specifically the question at 3:20:

(Side note: I have so, so many issues with what he says here–no other motivation? None at all?! You’ve got to be kidding me! But that’s a rant for another day.)

This all but confirms that working with them is a choice for Shadow.

It also perfectly demonstrates something that really irks me about Sega: their lack of communication about basic aspects of the characters’ lives. Most fans speculated for what, almost two decades, about whether a main character is employed or not, and Sega just drops it in a random interview? Not even in a game? It’s such basic information, yet they didn’t tell us for 19 years. And gee, why would we get that impression?

[Archie Sonic Universe issue 1]

It’s like even the official writers at Archie thought he was a G.U.N. agent. Sega couldn’t be bothered to tell them, let alone us. We don’t even know where some of these characters live. It’s kind of silly once you think about it.

Yeah. “Silly.” Let’s call it that. 🤨

Thanks for the ask!

[d0llsuicide]

It was late afternoon in Rome, the kind of day where the sun is too bright and everything feels a little too loud. The city moves on, buzzing and unapologetic, but I can’t shake the weight pressing down on my chest.

I’m sitting on the edge of a fountain, picking at the hem of my sweater, trying not to cry in public like some pathetic cliché. My phone buzzes in my bag, but I already know it’s my mom. Another lecture, another list of ways I’m screwing up. University deadlines, bills, the argument we had last night about me “not having a plan.” I’m trying, but it’s like trying to breathe underwater.

I glance up and catch sight of Niccolò.

Of course. The golden boy, sauntering down the cobblestone street like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He’s wearing that effortless smirk, hair tousled just so, like he didn’t spend ten minutes in the mirror perfecting it. He spots me and raises an eyebrow, probably surprised to see me looking like this—a total It was late afternoon in Rome, the kind of day where the sun is too bright and everything feels a little too loud. The city moves on, buzzing and unapologetic, but I can’t shake the weight pressing down on my chest.

“Ehi,” he calls out, strolling over. His voice has that lazy confidence I can never quite figure out. “You lose something?” He gestures to my hunched-over position like I’m a stray dog.

I roll my eyes. “What do you want, Niccolò?”

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he leans against the fountain, arms crossed like he’s posing for a magazine. “Relax. Just saying hi. You look…” His eyes trail over me, and for once, they’re not teasing. “…not great.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Thanks. Super helpful.”

He tilts his head, studying me with a flicker of curiosity. Normally, Niccolò is all charm and games, the guy who knows exactly how to push your buttons and does it just for fun. But today, there’s something different.

“What happened?” he asks, softer now.

I hesitate. The last thing I want is for him to know how bad things are. Niccolò doesn’t do real. He does surface-level, parties, expensive clothes, and flirting with anyone who’ll let him.

“Nothing,” I mutter, avoiding his gaze. “Just a bad day.”

He doesn’t buy it. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that?”

I glare at him. “Why do you care, anyway?”

For a moment, he looks like he might shrug it off, but then he surprises me. “Maybe I don’t like seeing you like this,” he says quietly.

My breath catches. That’s not the Niccolò I know.

“Look,” he continues, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with practiced ease. He takes a slow drag before speaking again. “You think you’re the only one who feels like they’re drowning? Newsflash, princess. We’re all faking it.”

I scoff. “Yeah, sure. Must be real hard being you. Perfect Niccolò with his perfect life.”

His jaw tightens, and for a second, I think I’ve hit a nerve. Then he exhales, the smoke curling in the air between us.

“You don’t know anything about me,” he says, almost defensively.

“Then tell me,” I challenge. “If your life’s so hard, let’s hear it.”

He hesitates, looking down at the cigarette like it holds all the answers. “Doesn’t matter,” he says finally. “Point is, you’re not as alone as you think.”

I want to argue, to tell him he doesn’t get it, but something in his expression stops me. For once, he’s not performing. He’s just… real.

Before I can respond, he straightens up and holds out a hand. “Come on.”

“What?”

“Let’s go,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Go where?”

He shrugs, that smirk returning. “Anywhere but here.”

I hesitate. This is Niccolò we’re talking about. The guy who never takes anything seriously, who’s probably just looking for an excuse to skip whatever family obligation he’s avoiding today. But there’s a spark in his eyes, and for some reason, I trust him.

Against my better judgment, I take his hand.

We end up at some little café tucked away in a quiet corner of the city. It’s nothing fancy, but the espresso is strong, and the sunlight filtering through the windows feels warm on my skin. For the first time all day, I feel like I can breathe.

Niccolò doesn’t ask me to spill my life story, and I don’t ask him for his. We just talk—about stupid things, like the ridiculous tourists we passed on the way here or the overpriced sneakers he’s been eyeing. It’s easy, effortless in a way I didn’t expect.

By the time we leave, the weight on my chest feels a little lighter.

“Thanks,” I say as we walk back toward the fountain.

He glances at me, surprised. “For what?”

“For… I don’t know. Not being a complete jerk today.”

He grins. “Don’t get used to it.”

But there’s a softness in his smile, a hint of something more. And for the first time, I think maybe Niccolò Govender is more than just the careless, cocky boy everyone thinks he is.

Maybe we both are.

[kathlare]

balancing act

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: A glimpse into the whirlwind of Amelie and Lando's intertwined lives, balancing their thriving careers and personal moments amidst the chaos of London. Through playful banter, demanding schedules, and quiet shared moments, their bond is a testament to finding stability and joy in the fast-paced world they navigate.

Wordcount: 2.1 k

Warnings: just fluff

July 2nd, 2024 - London, United Kingdom

The early morning sun filtered through the thin curtains of Amelie’s cozy London apartment, casting golden streaks across the wooden floor. The faint hum of traffic from the streets below mingled with the occasional meow from Benny, who stretched lazily on the windowsill. His brother, Björn, darted around the living room in pursuit of a stray piece of crumpled paper, his antics filling the space with chaotic energy.

Amelie sat cross-legged on the floor, her laptop balanced precariously on her thighs as she typed furiously. A half-empty mug of coffee rested beside her, forgotten in her focused haze. Benny sauntered over and plopped himself onto her lap, purring loudly as he demanded attention.

—Benny, cabrón, not now,— she muttered with a laugh, gently scratching behind his ears.

The door to the bedroom creaked open, and Lando emerged, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. His curly hair was a mess, and he wore a McLaren hoodie that was clearly one size too big for him—her hoodie.

—Morning,— he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. He shuffled toward the kitchen, glancing at the chaos Björn was causing. “Jesus, your cat is feral.”

—That’s not news, babe,— Amelie replied without looking up. —He’s been like this since the day I got him. Maybe he gets it from me.—

Lando snorted as he poured himself a cup of coffee, adding an ungodly amount of sugar. —Doubt it. Benny’s more your spirit animal.—

The early morning banter set the tone for their day. Lando leaned against the counter, sipping his coffee, his gaze softening as he watched Amelie wrestle with Benny’s insistence on being the center of her universe. The apartment was a mix of their lives—her eclectic taste evident in the mismatched throw pillows and vintage posters, and his influence peeking through in the occasional F1 memorabilia scattered around.

—You’ve got that radio thing at ten, right?— Lando asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

—Yeah, and the magazine shoot after. You?—

He groaned, running a hand through his curls. —Interview at Silverstone. Something about “British pride” or whatever. Then another one in the city later. Can’t wait to be asked for the fiftieth time what it feels like to drive a car.—

Amelie chuckled, closing her laptop. —Poor thing, living the dream sounds exhausting.— She placed Benny gently on the couch and stood, stretching. —Well, at least we’ve got lunch to look forward to.—

—You mean we’re actually sticking to the plan today? Miracles do happen.—

She rolled her eyes, swatting at him playfully as she headed to the bathroom. —Go shower. You smell like yesterday.—

By nine, the apartment was a flurry of activity. Amelie’s glam team had taken over the living room, their chatter mingling with the buzz of curling irons and the faint strains of her album playing in the background. She sat in front of a mirror, her makeup artist deftly applying a bold eyeliner as her hairstylist curled strands of her dark hair into soft waves.

Björn leaped onto the counter, knocking over a bottle of setting spray.

—Björn, hijo de tu madre!— Amelie exclaimed, reaching out to grab him before he could cause more chaos.

Lando, freshly showered and dressed in his signature black jeans and a Mclaren tee, watched the scene unfold from the doorway, amused. —Your cats are more dramatic than you are.—

—Takes one to know one, Norris.—

—Touché.—

He wandered over, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. —You look nice.—

—They’re not done yet.—

—Still.—

Her stylist smirked. —He’s a keeper, Mila.—

Amelie met Lando’s gaze in the mirror, her lips quirking into a soft smile. —Yeah, he’s alright.—

By noon, their schedules had dragged them in opposite directions. Lando was seated in a glossy studio in Silverstone, fielding a barrage of questions about his hopes for the weekend, the car’s performance, and his thoughts on the iconic British Grand Prix.

—It’s home turf, so yeah, there’s always pressure. But honestly, I’m just trying to enjoy it and give the fans a good show.—

The interviewer leaned forward, grinning. —And is it true you’ve been spotted around London with a certain Oscar-winning actress?—

Lando’s cheeks flushed, a boyish grin creeping onto his face. —Uh, yeah. Amelie and I are dating. But you already knew that.—

—Lucky guy.—

—Tell me about it,— Lando replied, a spark of pride in his voice.

Meanwhile, Amelie was stationed in a chic Soho café for a photoshoot, balancing a steaming cappuccino in one hand and answering questions in between poses.

—Your album Short n Sweet drops next month. What inspired the title?—

She tilted her head thoughtfully. —It’s kind of an inside joke. I’m not exactly known for being concise, but this album is. It’s a snapshot of where I am right now, you know?—

The photographer motioned for her to shift, and she adjusted her position, her heels clicking against the tiled floor.

—And where’s that?—

She smiled, thinking of Lando. —Happy.—

At 1:30, the two of them met up at a quaint bistro tucked away in a quiet London alley. Lando had beaten her there and was scrolling through his phone when she arrived, her presence announced by the clink of the bell above the door.

—Hey,— he greeted, standing to pull her into a quick hug.

—Hey yourself. Survive the morning?—

—Barely. You?—

—Björn didn’t burn down the apartment, so I’m calling it a win.—

They settled into their seats, the hum of conversation around them providing a comforting backdrop. Amelie reached for the menu, her fingers brushing against Lando’s in the process.

—What?— she asked, catching his amused look.

—Nothing. Just happy you’re here.—

Her heart skipped a beat, but she played it cool, flipping open the menu. —You’re such a sap.—

They spent the next hour laughing over shared appetizers, swapping stories about their hectic mornings, and stealing bites off each other’s plates. Despite the whirlwind of their lives, these moments felt sacred—a reminder of why they worked so well together.

As the waiter cleared their plates and brought the check, Lando leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed lazily over his chest. His eyes glinted with a teasing mischief that Amelie had come to recognize all too well.

—So, did they ask you about me today?— he asked, a grin playing on his lips.

She rolled her eyes dramatically, reaching for her purse. —Of course they did. Apparently, being in a relationship is my entire personality now. Forget the album, forget the acting, it’s all about Lando’s girlfriend.—

—Sounds like great PR to me,— Lando quipped, leaning forward to grab the bill before she could.

—You’re not paying, cabrón,— Amelie shot back, tugging at his hand.

—Too late,— he teased, holding the receipt just out of her reach. —I already made up my mind.—

—Lando!— she groaned, but the playful frustration in her voice only made him grin wider.

—Relax, you can pay next time.—

—There won’t be a next time if you keep this up.—

He laughed, leaning in to kiss her cheek. —You love me too much to mean that.—

She rolled her eyes again but couldn’t hide the soft smile tugging at her lips. He’s infuriating, she thought, but he’s also kind of right.

The afternoon saw them go their separate ways once more. Amelie returned to her apartment for her final interview of the day—a candid sit-down with a popular podcast host. Her team had transformed the living room into a cozy set, fairy lights twinkling against a backdrop of bookshelves and her own album cover prominently displayed.

—Welcome to the show, Amelie!— the host began, their voice warm and inviting.

—Thanks for having me,— she replied, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

The conversation flowed easily, touching on her creative process, her inspirations, and how she balanced her career with her personal life.

—You’ve been incredibly busy lately, movies, music, and now you’re performing at the Summertime Ball. How do you stay grounded?—

Amelie paused, her thoughts drifting to the curly-haired boy who’d teased her over lunch. —Honestly? It’s the people I surround myself with. My family, my friends, and, um, my boyfriend. They remind me of what really matters.—

—Lando Norris, right?—

She nodded, her cheeks tinged pink. —Yeah. He’s been great. Super supportive. Even when I’m all over the place, he’s just…there.—

Meanwhile, Lando was back at Silverstone, fielding another round of questions under the hot lights of a press conference.

—So, Lando, you’ve got the British Grand Prix this weekend and your girlfriend’s album dropping next month. Will you be celebrating both?—

He smirked, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. —Of course. I’m her biggest fan, so if she wins a Grammy someday, I’ll be taking all the credit.—

The room erupted in laughter, but Lando’s grin softened as he added, —Honestly, though, I’m proud of her. She works so hard, and she’s amazing at what she does. I’m just lucky to be along for the ride.—

By the time evening rolled around, Amelie was packing for her trip to Paris. Her suitcase lay open on the bed, a mix of chic outfits and comfortable staples spilling out. Benny lounged on top of her folded clothes, his soft fur a stark contrast to Björn’s wild leaps across the room.

By the time evening rolled around, Amelie was packing for her trip to Paris. Her suitcase lay open on the bed, a mix of chic outfits and comfortable staples spilling out. Benny lounged on top of her folded clothes, his soft fur a stark contrast to Björn’s wild leaps across the room.

Lando appeared in the doorway, holding two steaming mugs of tea. —Need a hand?—

—If you can convince Benny to move, sure,— she said, gesturing at the cat.

He set the mugs on the nightstand and walked over, scooping up Benny with surprising ease. —Come on, mate. You’re in the way.—

Benny purred contentedly as Lando scratched behind his ears, and Amelie couldn’t help but smile.

—You’ve got a way with him. Björn, on the other hand…—

—Björn’s just misunderstood,— Lando joked, dodging as the mischievous cat pounced toward him.

They spent the next hour together, folding clothes, sharing stories about their day, and stealing kisses in between. The cozy atmosphere of the apartment felt like a refuge from the whirlwind of their schedules.

As Amelie zipped up her suitcase, she turned to Lando, her expression soft. —You know I’m going to miss you, right?—

He pulled her into a hug, his chin resting on the top of her head. —I’ll miss you too. But it’s only a week. Then I get to see you light up Wembley.—

She smiled against his chest, letting his warmth settle over her. —You’re coming, right?—

—Wouldn’t miss it for the world.—

They stayed like that for a while, the sounds of the city fading into the background. For all their chaos, these moments of stillness reminded them why they worked. They were each other’s calm in the storm—a love as steady as it was electric.

[drivestraight]

have not stopped thinking about eta since it came out and i swear i’ve read it like 5 times since. the formatting is just mwah! with the way you weaved the past into the present narrative. your characterization of oscar is truly everything. “And he cares. All this time he has cared. He has cared so much but it’s gotten him nowhere, and no one can even see it. He never understood why no one else could see it.” → like this is the oscar thesis to me! i would love to hear more of your thoughts about the future of this universe you created !

FIVE TIMES 😭 thank you so much !! it always brings me so much joy to know that people like my writing, and especially the whole past/present timelines being told at the same time - i've said this before, but that was my biggest worry when posting/writing the fic, because i knew that it was kind of high risk (it might be confusing/hard to follow) but also high reward (it was the very best way to tell the story/the only way in the end), so i'm glad it all paid off :)

and yeah. oscar to me as a loverboy who cares so much and doesn't know what to do with it and will feel more than he'll ever let on. <3

re: the universe beyond this fic... lando's side of it i'm like. for some reason i like keeping it a secret even tho i'm probably never going to write it. but as for oscar and max:

nicole invites max to melbourne for the holidays after oscar wins the championship. max chooses to spend it with them mostly because he's already spent so much time with his own family this year, re: retirement, so the timing's kind of perfect. he and oscar are Boyfriends but it still kind of feels like this undefined things coming out of abu dhabi, but spending the holiday together + max getting to know oscar's family and them getting to know him really solidifies it all.

max takes another year off racing, so in 2027 he literally is just being oscar's wag. he doesn't go to every single race or even many races but every now and then he'll show up and just. Hang. he'll hang out with the piastris and eventually people online will be like... why is max so close to nicole. why is he joking around with oscar's sisters. what's happening rn. i think he'd do daytona and endurance racing in 2028, but he really is in a good place in life, seeing all his friends and family and even getting to know oscar's.

oscar's hot shit and hot property in 2027. because i'm a red bull lover, red bull are Really good in 2027. oscar and liam are work husbands and the levels of homosexuality in that team are off the charts (liam is straight). and then there's oscar's underarmor underwear campaign.

anyway oscar wins in 2027 again. it's a bit less of a fraught fight though because he wins it with a race or two to spare. it starts out as a threeway title fight between him, lando, and charles, but then he just starts to pull ahead.

[arcane-ish]

You sound like you should be writing some Timebomb, if you feel like you've already written everything there's to say about Vander and Silco ;)

That said, I didn't see it as rabid dog. For one I read the ending as open, but as Jinx finally saying goodbye to Vi. And it seemed to me like the universe around Jinx (in the form of the main characters) was already indifferent to her doing "bad deeds". Vi was coming around and even gave her the official invitation to use her violence for good. Vanwick doesn't know or care. Isha did not care. Sevika does not care. Cait gave her the "yeah, whatever, we all do bad shit".

And Ekko, one of the people who criticized her, was given a whole episode to see a good version of her and IMO alt universe Jinx's line about how he never gives up on her to me implies that he would feel positively about main!universe Jinx as well.

I mean that whole scene is basically Ekko apologizing about being too judgemental of Jinx. That his mind got clouded by negativity and he should have kept being optimistic about her.

So in a narrative sense, all the main characters who had an axe to grin with her, grave her a free pass. That's why I don't read it as the narrative punishing her for doing violence.

The only thing that is remaining is Jinx's guilt, her conviction that she's a Jinx, that she hurts the people who come close to her.

IMO I choose to read the ending as Jinx running off and being free, because we have Silco telling her about cycles of violence, Jinx proclaiming she wants to break the cycle, attempting to achieve that with her own death, but is stopped.

I read the scene with Vi as being clearly about Jinx being worried that she will hurt Vi. The mind!Silco seems to say that the cycles of violence mean that Jinx and Vi will keep hurting each other.

But that you should break the cycle. So Jinx before running off to her suicide gives Vi her blessing and essentially talks about being a burden to Vi.

That's what she tries to do with her suicide. Jinx herself is convinced that she is bad, but the other characters think differently. Jinx is worried that she isn't good, but Ekko likely assures her that in another universe she is.

So she joins the fight. To me the message of her falling down with Vander is more about her letting Vi go, but while also assuring us that it doesn't matter if the sisters are apart.

That's why Jinx leaving, just works.

Her suicide is about trying to protect Vi. Because she is the last person left Jinx cares about and she feels like she has killed all the family she's had (that's what she said to Isha). Killed Mylo, Clag and Vander, killed Silco, got Isha killed and Vander a second time.

But she already tried suiciding. So her to just suicide again, though in a slightly more heroic context, just feels kind of redundant, I guess? So to me her leaving Vi behind by traveling to other continents for example (or even other universes) just feels like a more novel iteration.

And it's certainly a better message than "Jinx still can't get over her own guilt even though everybody else has already forgiven her" (remember, Zaundads already set the scene of "naw, it's good actually to forgive the person who tried to kill you" and it's continued with Jayce and Viktor). If we get all of these other examples of characters forgiving each other scary shit, why should Jinx's sins of all be narrative punishment, when for all the others the narrative doesn't just accidentally but fully deliberately and statedly not care?

So I read this ending more as Jinx freeing the sisters from their co-dependence, of freeing Vi of the responsibility guilt she's been feeling. Vi has been feeling guilty over Powder since years (probably even longer than the monkey bomb incident) and this is basically the big "no seriously, fuck off and bang your girlfriend". Even if it takes Jinx to fake her own death to make it happen.

Yes it can also be read as "Jinx accepts her fate as daddy killer number 1, by getting Vander killed a third time and that is her official, I kill so many family members, so I should die", but the scene just didn't feel emotional enough to me.

So I read it just, Jinx is killing Vander as big fat hero moment (again, hopefully sparing Vi some grief, who she witnesses sobbing) and then she runs off into the world. Like in the end, she was the stronger sister.

ETA: Ekko's line about leaping forward and leaving something behind could also be foreshadowing. Jinx is leaping forward, but she's leaving Vi/Ekko/Zaun behind.

A true off my chest bit about Jinx

It's a little critical of the show, but not hate posting. Just my feelings regarding the handling of Jinx.

I just feel like Jinx's death shows the writers hand in a bad way.

To me act 1 sucks because it felt the most rushed and like it needed to pad and set some things in motions, and most importantly they needed to delay Jinx's suicidality.

By all accounts Jinx should have broken after Silco's death. She should have buried him in the Pilt, walked home, set the place on fire and killed herself.

Instead she needs to be delayed, and she needs to have a reason to be in Stillwater with a lot of Zaunites, so that Singed can do his hiring bid demo with Warwick and score a new employer in Embessa.

It's convoluted, but basically Jinx needs two things :

temporary sanity

a reason to completely blow up later on

And they do both via Isha, the worst character in the whole show as far as I'm concerned.

She's introduced in a bad music video that does a weird job of introducing "sane Jinx". Then she seems to immediately be part of the team, and her attachment to Jinx, with zero set up, made it super out of left field.

It was blatant that she was being set up as a mini Powder to calm Jinx down, and when she blows herself up it's not gratifying if you know she's just a crank/lever being used to flip Jinx into dark and depressed mode.

IMO this could have been handled better (and I'd change a lot of the Zaun situation in Act 1 alongside), but then could have still led to Jinx being "saved" by Ekko.

Instead, I feel like the writers, maybe pressed for time, maybe unwilling to keep the "loose canon" as she was in the new state of the world, chose to kill her off.

Her death is Vi's fault, and I can't help but feel it's manufactured.

I feel like the writers broke Jinx an extra time just to tilt her over the edge and have that emotional scene with Ekko, but then couldn't see how to "excuse her".

Like what she's done is too fucked up, too dark (even if Cait served the city to Noxus on a silver platter, gased zaun, and faced no consequences lol) and she can't be made to move on from the horrors of it all.

It feels like they didn't have the time or will to break the cycle for Jinx. But it feels bad. It feels like it was an "attempt at redemption" death.

WW was an arcane creature by then and they all fucked off with Viktor and Jayce. They could have chosen to keep him innactive. They could have had Vi going with Ekko and relying on him.

The one person who can truly believe in the good in her, because he's literally experienced it in another version of herself. The one guy who could tell her again and again that it's not HER, it's the way the world made things, and that this can change.

I don't see why shy away from that, even implied, especially after Ekko managed to pull her from the brink.

It feels like Jinx is a "too far gone" rabid dog better put down than left loose in their setting.

And I don't really vibe with that. I thought true redemption would be her living. Leading. Her and Ekko could work to better Zaun while Sevika safeguards their interests in the Council.

And Vi could have still cried over WW's body.

[sad-trash-hobo]

Friendly reminder that in another universe Anakin leaves the jedi order after the Umbara campaign and took the whole 501st legion with him and Ahsoka followed him and they went to Tatooine to meet up with Kitster and freed the slaves and while they were checking the freed for chips, they checked the Clones as well and got all the chips out of the 501st and killed Jabba and the rest of the slavers. And then Anakin took up podracing again and taught all the Clones how to be moisture farmers and reunited with Owen and Beru and helped fix up their farm. And when the Chancellor tried to reach out to Anakin to get him to come back Rex overhears the whole conversation and hits Anakin over the head and explains what grooming is and Anakin realizes how awful the Chancellor is. Anakin comms Padme to let her know and to tell her that he's coming back to Coruscant to clear the Clones of their chips and Fox has another scanner made and they clear out all the Clones and stage an assassination and kill the Chancellor and Padme votes Bail in as the new Chancellor. And then Dooku realizes how stupid the whole war was and pulls out to become an actual Count and just living in peace and having fun. Anakin spends his time podracing while Kix tries not to have a panic attack and lives on Naboo with Padme and spends a week or two in Tatooine to make sure everything is going ok with Kitster and making sure he has all the supplies he needs to continue freeing slaves throughout the galaxy. Just so yall know