#yeah im so normal about both of these guys
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
emo-trash101 · 3 days ago
Note
HELLO HELLO HELLO ONYX‼️‼️‼️
Tumblr media
I SAW THAT YOU'RE BACK
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH OMG.
(and your writing but you're more important <3)
ALSO WITH ARCANE??? YOU FEED ME.
So yeah,you guessed it,Arcane asking time‼️
May I have Salo (He's my baby girl I love him he's my favorite LOOK AT MY WIFE HE'S SO PRETTY.),Silco,Singed,Vander,Ambessa,Mel,Jayce and Viktor (feel free to remove or change some of them,I just love giving people a wide range of characters to choose from!! I just want Salo the most ajgehhw) with a CHILD!reader (haha platonic asker is back >:3) that they basically adopted from Zaun with a weird condition that makes them need to breathe through a filtering mask? Because they can't breathe normal air and has to get a certain gas in their lungs otherwise they aren't okay? Imagine it breaking after they get in a fight with someone or fall and they all just panic...
So basically gas mask baby. Just a little silly guy.
So yeah!! I really hope you enjoy writing this prompt,my dear friend!!!
Don't forget to eat,drink and take breaks as always!!
Always stay proud!!
Your mutual and friend,
-Nina <33
OMG IK IM SO EXCITED TO BE BACK! ALSO HAPPY THANKSGIVING IF ITS THIS TIME OF YEAR FOR YOU :))
Tumblr media
Salo, Vander, Jayce and Victor x Asthmatic! Child
Platonic
Pronouns: Second person
Tw: illness, potential child endangerment (It's arcane so ERM, what else do you expect) Also potential spoilers
Tumblr media
Salo -
- I think he was like most people from piltover and was like "UHM, what is this dirty little dirt baby doing near me why are they coughing are they diseased?"
- I think the beginning of him taking you in would be like, he decides you probably shouldn't be in the road coughing and essentially on the verge of perishment.
- So he takes you to the nearest doctors office and is like fully prepared to just, disappear.
- That was until the doctor looks at him and says "Oh, councilor Salo, I didn't know you had a child?"
- After that he just, accepted his fate as a father.
- At first I don't think he would be that warm and comforting, but it's just generally an adjustment period.
- He learns to take care of you through long amounts of trial and error, and eventually you both form a decent connection.
- It wasn't exactly father and child, but more so friendly roommates
- That was until you finally got your diagnosis.
- Before now he was kinda just your dad in theory, sure he fed you and helped you when you cried and comforted you through long nights when you couldn't breathe but that was completely and totally just because he had to.
- But something inside of him just feels so sad for you when the doctor first straps your mask onto your face.
-After that your relationship changes for the better.
-You both seem to bond and become more close in a way that he wasn't exactly expecting.
-He becomes more vigilant about what you eat and what you're doing and making sure that you don't break your mask.
- Eventually, he feels more like your dad in a real sense, not just on metaphorical paper.
Tumblr media
Vander (Pre ep3) -
- At first he wasn't exactly going to become fatherly figure to you.
- I mean after all he has 4 other children he has to look after and you surely have parents somewhere.
- It took one week for the powder and the others to get used to you being there, and 2 weeks for Vander to realize no one was coming for you.
- After that Vander decided that it was better to just take you under his wing and care for you.
- First thing he did after deciding that was getting into contact with the best doctor in Zaun to try and figure out why you were coughing so much.
- The next thing he did was try not to cry when they forced the mask onto you so that you could breathe.
- After that though, things went significantly well.
- You bonded more closely with Powder than anyone, mainly because of the feeling of being both the youngest and the least helpful.
- Even when they did take you on missions, you'd get out of breath, or get your mask broken.
- Vander learned very fast that he should learn how to fix it.
- But after that, everything was good, and you had a family for as long as that could last.
Tumblr media
Jayce -
- Of most of the people in Piltover, I think he would be the one of the most inclined to help you.
- I feel like he would pretty consistently take walks out, and that's where he would find you.
- He would find you sitting against a wall coughing so hard it was sure to have been heard at least a mile away.
- He would definitely panic and try to talk to you and figure out what happened, and then realize that verbal communication is the least effective communication for him to have picked.
-So instead he picks you up and rushes you to the nearest doctors office.
- With the way that he's so panicked and treating you so kindly, the doctors just assume that he's your father.
- After the doctors explain to him what your illness is he immediately thinks of Victor.
- At first, his reason behind taking care of you was that he was just making sure you were okay before he looks for your real parents.
- But eventually, he just gets so used to you being around that he kinda just forgets that he should be looking for them, and instead just leans into the fatherly role.
- It took a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of conversations with Mel to figure out how to take care of a child and how to progress with your illness.
- And after all of it, he officially files for adoption of you.
- And he's the best dad you could ever ask for
Tumblr media
Victor -
- Objectively, I think he would be the best out of all of them.
- He likely found you before he went to Piltover, and he took care of you almost immediately.
- He knows how it feels to be different from other kids your age, what it's like to be made just, wrong.
-He cares for you, and eventually he moves you both to Piltover.
-It was an extremely risky decision for him to have made, but it was for you to get a good doctor, and for him to get a good job.
- After you receive your mask and your diagnosis, he becomes more protective.
- He cleans your mask once a day to make sure it doesn't build up gunk and becomes more dangerous to your lungs.
- He also becomes more vigilant on what you're doing and if that can cause your mask to break.
- After he eventually receives his diagnosis, he decides that after his time is up that he's going to give you to Jayce.
- But before that time comes, he's gonna love you like you're his own.
Tumblr media
UHM I feel like these got aggressively more depressing but it's probably fine, I hope you enjoyed this one Nina!
Make sure to drink water and eat food :)
50 notes · View notes
sage-is-in-fact-very-tired · 7 months ago
Text
you know. holding ari's little comment of "part of me also does feel bad" and their continued comment that they (Icarus) just want to make fable *proud* and its just not happening, so so gently. I'm holding it and shaking it. because current a lot of people really want Icarus *dead* - and I have no doubt ari is in a similar boat (she mentions she would've stabbed them if it wouldn't immediately get her killed), but also ari can at least understand where Icarus is coming from, as someone with a godly parent. and I shake that. and and and - this is the first time *anyone* has out loud admitted that about icarus. This is this first time anyone has outright said (or even implied) that all of this, all they're doing, is to make fable proud. and I hold that so gently.
(something about how ari and icarus are far more similar than either of them will probably *ever* realize; something about how ari understands better than most what Icarus is currently going through. something about how Icarus currently *hates* ari, but some part of ari cares for them so deeply. something about how, maybe when this is all over, they can be friends - and maybe bit by *agonizing* bit, they can help each other heal.)
50 notes · View notes
itsdefinitely · 1 year ago
Text
hey don't cry. the jeri/rys will never be able to share simple human intimacy. they'll never get to hold hands. why are you crying louder
198 notes · View notes
ganondoodle · 3 months ago
Text
so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
33 notes · View notes
loud-whistling-yes · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This ring around my finger's like a chain around my throat // And if I were not myself, would this be easier?
Alternatively, I thought about galaxy duo and the fool in her wedding gown for a little too long
166 notes · View notes
insufferablemod · 6 months ago
Text
hmm realizing that the ship i like properly Ship the most is probably arasol...
27 notes · View notes
triglycercule · 2 months ago
Text
thinking about mtt literally physically dragging eachother down and being restrained to eachother because theyre genuinely that fucking ass for eachother but then it means i'd have to decide which of them to humiliate by putting a collar on them. and i can't choose. if they dont all equally suffer than whats the point man 🙁🙁🙁
#i think they'd all have interesting reactions to it 2#like a permanent collar that cant be taken off. to make even more gruesome what if it were like built into the BONE????#or it could just be something less extreme like bone carvings. killer would absolutely do that shit#anyways i think horror would be the most reactive to it. anger is the most intriguing emotion#and also dog horror real. anyways he'd hate to be demeaned and disrespected like that. he has an ego and honor man and this is cutting it#dust drags him around constantly. killer pets him and disregards his boundaries. like a fucking DOG#because horror hates kist enough that he'd never let them get vulnerable enough. not that it stops killer LMAO#dust thinks some of horrors hatred towards them is a projection of his own self hatred (and hed lowkey be right)#loser. dust i think would be unique because to me he'd be a bit fine with it#i mean i think itd be hidden under paps scarf so it wouldn't be a constant reminder of horror n killer#but he lets the two hold the leash at least a bit. give him an eensy bit of touch and let a few insults slide#but the second he decides that even the smallest thing is enough he gets ticked off and then yk. someone has to put bunny back in his place#because dust is chill enough to let normal things in his eyes pass. he's not very reactionary or the type to immediately bite back#(since dust would just avoid horror and killer if he did meet them. means he has some sort of tolerance for them. keeping his peace fr)#but the moment hes reminded that god these two do suck and i shouldn't be letting this happen all of the held back anger comes out#killer would seek out the force and stuff. horror would treat him like shit because it makes himself feel good and killer look like an idio#dust doesn't even glance at him though and it pisses killer off. both of their actions do actually#like WTF DUST you guys literally put this on me. treat me like the piece of shit i know you think i am#but also STOP HORROR!!!! dont pull me around and demean me im not a pet i dont want to be treated that way even tho i say it do#yeah hes caught in a standstill. AND SO AM I do you see my issue. cannot pick one specific#all the trio would have such interesting reactions i cant just choose one to solely suffer......... anyways mttpoly am i right#should i tag this. like majority of the interesting stuff is in tags. but also i didnt post today i have a duty#dust sans#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule rant#this just ended up being me thinking about mtt with collars. maaan what about handcuffs and chains and other restrictive things#having them have restraining relationship isnt enough i need them to PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN EACHOTHER
9 notes · View notes
the-gayest-sky-kid · 8 months ago
Text
my souheki warriors kill this gacha video now
#guys guys guys dazai literally admires him and looks at super deduction with awe in his eyes and gets so excited when he gets to explain why#ranpos special. because ranpo is a normal human whos exceptionally smart!!!#and he thinks thats so fucking COOL that he calls him the strongest member of the agency do you GET IT#AND AND AND#this is more like speculative and my own opinion but. dazai someone whos been considered isolated BECAUSE of his intellect being able to#converse with ranpo and plan shit do you understand that#ranpo may not be able to get him in the way chuuya does but he is a perfect example of it getting BETTER. that someone can be so deeply#admired and wholeheartedly cared for despite how differently they see things and shit#theres also the sort of way ranpo is the opposite of dazai in a sort of. ranpo externalized his feelings (the tism) and viewed the world as#full of monsters that knew something he didnt#but dazai internalizes that view and found himself lacking#both are very the tism#again thats all my own analysis and conclusion drawing of course#back to facts. RANPO GOING LIKE YEAH SURE WELCOME NEW GUY IN ENTRANCE EXAM#DAZAI TRUSTING HIM TO NEGOTIATE WITH BRAM IN THE PLAN TO KILL FYODOR. AND RANPO RUSHING TO DO THAT????#GRATATATATATRARARRARA#also there has to be something very fun and relieving about talking and planning with someone who understands everything youre saying#anyway souheki they will never get u like i do im sorry that bitch did you like that#souheki#aethers rants
14 notes · View notes
5-htagonist · 4 months ago
Text
i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise
#like. im crazy about the.m#unfortunately ive been touched by autism and therefore the pattern seeking. they are so dirkjake#and also so me nand my husband <3#its kind of freaky actually#my husband and kabru both have ptsd overthinking masking disease. he said he didnt like kabru (anime only) and i told him about those trait#and he was like is he me. is that why i dont like him. and i was like LOL#he was ilke i dont like that he says what he needs to get what he wants... and i was like sir we literally just talked about how bad your#Fake Conflict Avoidant has gotten bro dont even play#im laios ofc.... ofc... not only is our autism like. similar in presentation. but also the whole never fitting in#and getting told off by a friend granted i wasnt told she always hated me but i was told about how annoying i am and on another occasion#how unreliable i am so LOLLLL that entireeeee scene seriously wrenched my soul#anyway im gonna commit egregious acts against myself to atone for this#alsoooooohis relationship with falin... is really relatable..#now this may sound harsh against laios but im his number one fan i will defend him to death but...#he left his struggling sister to avoid his own pain and didnt reconnect with her for years#like. Yeah. wow. i will say i was much more cruel to my sibling than laios ever was to falin lol he was just kind of a normal brotherly ass#and ofc he was a kid when he ran from home! and i was a kid when i had severe unmanaged adhd (with tism) and had 0 hold on my emotions#and then i withdrew from my sibling once i got on antidepressants lol#it was really difficult to deal with the guilt of having mistreated them to the extent i did while also acknowledging i was failed by our#adults its hard figuring out what exactly youre sorry for#anyways#i love oversharing here. do you guys like it. does anyone ever read these rants#DM
4 notes · View notes
ratatatastic · 3 hours ago
Text
no im still on maffhew calling the forsymaffhew lovechild a missile
#txt#missile#i have also learned ive mispronounced missile all my life at least in american terms#wdym you guys dont say mis-AISLE#the culmination of living in city where we're all 1st/2nd gen immigrants whos primary language at home is not english#anyways male equivalent of rocket... missile#sorry my queer mind can't understand that#my gender is when we played house in 2nd grade i didnt want to play because i had to be mom or dad and i went well im only playing if i get#to be like the family dog and they all got nervous because that felt mean and the teachers would scold them#and i was like nah its fine check this shit out (runs around and barks)#my gender is when the classroom got seperated into boys and girls i staunchly refused and insisted i be in my own group as a joke and#everyone was okay w that because it was the height of lolz so random! and i was the poster child for that so naturally yeah thats#charming and cute yeah tumblr user ratatatastic you can have your own group and that was the class joke and it never felt mean because#it was a small sheltered school and weve all know eo since we were like in daycare#my gender is hey i volunteered at a pride festival and ive always struggled with expressing any sort of femininity and bristled pretty#badly because it gets beat into you and after the pandemic i chilled out a lot after sitting with it and this is all to say#i got partnered with a brazilian guy because i was the only one who spoke spanish on shift at the time and while he spoke 3 languages#(eng esp por) sometimes he struggled with how to say something and changed languages like he was channel surfing which was refreshing#because i do the same thing so it was this weird culmination of both of us code switching heavily and acting as translator for eo anyways#this is all to say when i toddled in no one really knew what to make of me pronoun wise and what he decided to do instead of just ask me#like a normal person he just he/him'd me and then proceed to call me good girl in the exact same sentence and i laughed about it at the time#proceeded to file it at the back of my head for when i got home so i could despondently stare at a wall for 5 hours of what exactly that#entails about me and why it didnt bother me at all and i was like huh the panic never stops thats fun you can just have random revelations#even when youre an old dog in the game at 23 and known your gender fucker wuckery since you were like 12 like oh great#conclusion is that i dont know why god sends me his toughest battles im a crybaby AND a whiner LIKE PICK SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY#anyways hehe missile#sorry we lost the thread here
5 notes · View notes
bearstuck · 2 years ago
Text
theres a hypothetical instance of asylumstuck being written well and not incredibly offensive and yet every single time i see some old asylumstuck posts i am blown away by how they manage to get literally every depiction of mental illness incorrect. its like they googled the symptoms and then deliberately wrote against the reality of those illnesses. its like they googled awful stereotypes about mentally ill (mostly psychotic or suicidal people) and made it their personal project to include as many as they could
#i am not opposed to the idea of writing characters from anything in a psychiatric hospital#however#like from the bat they use the very sensational name 'asylum' which is okay i guess since its one word and well known enough#but to go on and be like#yeah terezi and john *know the truth* about them being in an au and believe theyre supposed to be gods in a video game#oh calliope has some weird fucked up writing combination of psychosis and DID#where she simultaneously thinks caliborn is a hallucination ('imaginary friend') and an alter that 'takes over when shes mad'#or like#gamzee is a murderer and a schizophrenic and a cannibal#or sollux has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and its obvious op didnt google if you can have both at once bc theyd immediately see#that that would usually just be diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder#like im not saying you cant write this setting and write it well. but its so fucking obvious its coming from a sixpenceee sort of place#where psychosis and DID and ocd and personality disorders are creepy aesthetic horror movie things#like hey you guys know not every psychiatric patient is psychotic right. and psychotic people are normal right#ffs have some tact its really not hard to google the actual symptoms and testimony from people with these conditions#sorry this got really ranty it just blows me away how ive seen people posting about asylumstuck in this decade#sorry if i spelled asylum wrong in this post and didnt catch it ive got the dyslexia
25 notes · View notes
theguardianace · 1 year ago
Text
i have this whole aroace wxs fic saga like completely planned out with various themes and experiences of being aroace and the different ways each of them would view their own identity but also i cannot for the life of me figure out the plot of any of the stories.
11 notes · View notes
fakecats · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
there's no such thing as "me," now / as hard as you look, nowhere to be found / i can't remember a single role i was suited for - lyrics from dramaturgy by eve
#i am so normal about dramaturgy and persona 5 you want to stick your fingers into my cage so bad#im making a venn diagram of them in my head#like#ive been trying to gather my thoughts about it for a while but i cant get passed just#"both kurukuru (dramaturgy protag) and joker switch between masks and are trapped on a metaphorical/literal stage#the stage for kuru being a literal stage in a play but for joker/the PT the stage is life in general#and them having to put on masks when talking to others (even though yeah like when awakening to a persona you discard that “mask” but irl#when not in the metaverse people#cant be genuine all the time hence the need for the “mask”)#and the whole mask thing is really obvious with joker since#thats literally his whole thing#like. “i'm a shapeshifter” “please dont take off my mask my place to hide/revealing dark”#anyways going back to dramaturgy the lyrics “i dont want to think about it / id much rather play the idiot”#like. joker plays the fool while talking to akechi#and maruki and shit#knowing full well who they truely are#← GUY WHO IS PRETENDING TO BE SMART BECAUSE HE READ A WIKI ARTICLE ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY ONCE#anyways all of that means literally nothing so you can callme stupid in the tags if youd like#that was just the mental illness in written form#IN CONCLUSION DRAMATURGY AND PERSONA 5 ARE THE SAME THING GOODBYE#my post 🔮#my art 💫#digital art#artists on tumblr#persona 5#joker persona 5#persona 5 fanart#persona 5 protagonist#joker p5#ren amamiya
3 notes · View notes
benetnvsch · 1 year ago
Note
genuinely baffling to me how much of a victim complex some skk shippers have
YEAH yeah aouhghh-
like,, its one thing if people were actively harassing/bothering them but there is no reason for Those Types of skk-ers to be So Upset about other ships just existing (and to just,,doing the same things that they do in terms of relating/redrawing other ships moments to theirs)
I mean come on,, just look the other way,, no need to cry cuz someone chose to make Dazai to kiss different colored pile of pixels today
6 notes · View notes
pansyfemme · 6 months ago
Text
im. 💖
#having. a good night#i’m gonna. crash but. having. good converstions#feeling warm and fuzzy and comfortable#im.#i feel silly but im like. im falling in love i thinkkjjjjjjjjjj its great its wonderful#i have not felt this good and this pretty in a long time like im just. life is swell#im . tired and i know im doing the classic puppy love just. head over heels stuff thats known for in new and passionate relationships but it#feels so good and i like him so much and i just feel. real#i feel seen and understood and . loved its. huh its. yeah#but brain real fuzzy and warm. im just. i found someone so. just. so perfect for me its like. im :)#he treats me. really well and he’s so amazing and so fucking insanely talented at art and animation and im likeeee all dizzy and feeling#just . safe and comfortable like. i just feel. safe and its. not something i feel a lot#and like. its funny bc like theres a few irls who follow here who know both him and me and its like. haha you guys get the inside scoop on#just how infatuated we are with eachother like. surprise . but yknow.#its like. hhh. its just. im just. its nice#like. we all know im well aware that im pretty as it is but he just makes me feel. so pretty like just. gorgeous#and i mean he’s like . woah. like i know you guys dont know what he looks like besides my paintings but the paintings do not do him justice!#he’s got this like. great smile and he’s always laughing and giggling and this really pretty long hair i love and its like… 💖💖💖#like. he’s. very my type. i have a weakness for pretty guys and he’s just. so prettyyyyy and im :)#im sorry to my irls who see me just. gushing about him like. idk. im not sure if anyone saw it coming but i think it. makes sense. it makes#a lot of sense. and we’re. cute together. got that. opposing aesthetics stuff. but it’s. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#im just. oh i think im talking until the tags run out now i think so uh huh#yeah it’s . embarassing honestly to be. this into someone but it just. feels. good and natural and it makes sense like i said#i just. hm . im both so nervous around him and not nervous at all its. nice#and like. i just want to. be with him all of the time ever and it’s. probably whats gonna happen next semester#im just totally infatuated and he is. with me as well and it’s. really cool to be just. mutually losing it#like half of our calls involve us hiding our heads in our hands because its real nervous boy4nervous boy shit like. very much so#i often have to put my phone down and just. close my eyes and lie in the dark and go. oh my god oh my god oh my god#its just surreal to like someone so hard for so long and then a month after classes end and it’s real. its normal its happening
31 notes · View notes
coryndoll · 2 months ago
Note
routledge!reader x rafe, after big john comes back and finds out that both of his kids are dating the camerons, he gets mad, especially at his daughter, cause he thought that she wasn't thinking straight. After a few days, he throws a stupid comment about rafe when they were with the rest of the pogues and reader just snaps at him. pure angst now 🥰 she realises that he's never been a good father, only caring about treasures and yells that she wishes he never came back. Then goes to rafe, crying, for comfort 💕 (i love angst im sorry.)
hold me close
rafe cameron x routledge!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
warnings: angst, swearing, a kiss, pretty safe !!
authors note: OKAY ik thats trevor n not rafe but erm, we’ll pretend bc that pic is what gives the energy for this oneshot. anyway hii, hope u guys enjoy this one. feel free to send any requests guys! n thank u for 1k followers yesterday. ilyasm <33
Tumblr media
you sit in the backyard, the soft hum of cicadas filling the warm night air. the pogues are just behind you, laughing and talking in a huddle. it feels good to see them like this again—normal, for once, after everything.
after the chaos of the last year, of treasure hunts, betrayals, and close calls. you’ve always tried to stay out of it, letting john b and the others chase after the gold while you lived your life. but eventually, you couldn’t stay on the sidelines, not when rafe got involved, not when it became a matter of life and death.
it’s been hard, being stuck between two sides, torn between your brother and your boyfriend. but tonight, you just want peace.
you glance over at your dad, sitting a little ways away from the group, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied grin on his face. big john routledge—alive, after these three years. you still can’t believe it sometimes.
he looks different, a little more worn, a little rougher around the edges, but the way he carries himself hasn’t changed. he’s still larger than life, still full of stories, still your dad. and god, you missed him.
he catches your eye, and for a moment, it’s like nothing has changed. like you’re just a kid again, sitting with your dad, listening to him talk about his crazy ideas, his wild adventures.
“you know,” he starts, leaning forward, “i remember that time you and john b tried to catch that fish out by the dock, and you both fell in. i swear, i thought i was gonna have to drag you two out myself,” he says, chuckling to himself, shaking his head like the memory is some long-lost treasure of its own.
you smile, even though it feels a little bittersweet. “yeah,” you murmur under your breath.
you pull at a piece of grass by your feet, your fingers absentmindedly tearing at it. you’ve waited so long for this moment—for him to come back, for your family to feel whole again.
but now that he’s here, you don’t know what to do with it. you can’t shake the feeling that something’s changed, that he’s not just the dad you remember, but something else entirely. still, you can’t help but feel like the little girl who always looked up to him, who wanted nothing more than to make him proud.
“i never thought we’d see you again,” you mumble, your voice low, barely above a whisper. you don’t look up from the grass, your fingers still picking at the blades, but you can feel his gaze on you.
“i never thought i’d be back either,” he admits quietly. “but i couldn’t stop thinking about you two. every day out there . . . i thought about coming home.”
you scoff softly, a bitter smile pulling at your lips, even though you don’t mean for it to. “but you didn’t,” you say, barely above a whisper. “you didn’t come back for three years.”
he shifts in his seat, his fingers tapping against the arm of the chair. “it wasn’t that simple, y/n,” he says. “i was trying to protect you. there are dangerous people out there, people who want what we’re after. i couldn’t come back until i knew it was safe.”
you nod, but it’s a hollow gesture. you’ve heard it all before from other people—the excuses, the treasure, the danger. it always comes back to that.
you glance at your friends, laughing and sharing stories with each other. you’ve spent so long trying to push this life aside, to live outside of the mess of treasure hunts and betrayals. but it always pulls you back in.
“yeah, you always did put the treasure first,” you murmur as you face forward again. you’re not even sure if you mean to say it out loud. it’s more to yourself, just a thought that’s been living in the back of your mind for too long.
“don’t do that.” he leans forward, his voice soft, almost pleading. “i did it for you and john b,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “for our family. i wanted us to have something—something big, something that would change everything.”
“yeah, but we didn’t need that,” you say, your voice small, but firm. you’re still pulling at the grass, twisting it around your fingers. “we just needed you.”
he doesn’t say anything for a moment. it’s like he’s trying to figure out what to say, but there’s nothing that can fix the years of distance. nothing that can make up for what you lost when he left.
there’s a long silence, and for a moment, you think maybe this is as close as you’ll ever get to understanding each other. you don’t want to fight tonight. you just want to sit with him, to pretend that things could go back to how they were before.
“so,” he starts again, his tone shifting back to playful, like he’s trying to lighten the mood, “you and john b teaming up with the others to chase down treasure? guess it runs in the family.”
you laugh, but it’s a little forced. “yeah, well, i tried to stay out of it. but . . .”
“but what?” he presses, leaning forward with a smirk. “got a little taste of adventure, didn’t you?”
you glance up at the marsh, a faint smile on your lips. “something like that,” you mutter.
but you don’t mention rafe, don’t mention how he’s become a part of this tangled mess, how hard it’s been being caught between him and your family. you’ve already told your dad the day you reunited a few days ago in barbados. didn’t end well that time either. you don’t want to ruin the moment, don’t want to start another fight.
but, as if the universe is reading your mind, your dad shifts the conversation in a way that makes your stomach drop. “just promise me,” he says, suddenly serious, “you won’t let that rafe cameron kid get too close. he’s no good, y/n.”
the words hit you like a slap, and for a moment, you just sit there, staring at him. it takes you a second to process what he’s said, to even understand the casual way he’s dismissed rafe, like it’s nothing. like he’s nothing.
“and i hear john b’s with sarah now, too?” his tone shifts, bitter and disapproving. “so now both of my kids are wrapped up with the camerons. hell of a choice you both made.”
you freeze, your stomach tightening. there it is. you knew it was coming, but it still hits you like a punch to the gut. it’s not the first time he’s made a comment about rafe, and you thought you were doing the right thing confessing what’s changed since you last saw him, but now he’s dragging john b into it, and that makes it worse. so much worse.
“dad,” you start, trying to keep your voice steady, but there’s an edge to it, a warning. “don’t.”
he shakes his head like you’ve said something ridiculous. “no, i am gonna say something. sarah, rafe, they’re cameron’s kids. ward cameron’s kids. you’re smart enough to know better than to get mixed up with people like him. they’re bad news. always have been.”
“yeah, but they’re not like him,” you snap, your voice sharper than you intended. “sarah’s not ward. rafe’s not ward. they’re not their father.”
he just laughs, but there’s no humor in it. it’s harsh. “you really believe that?” he asks, shaking his head again. “they’re camerons. it’s in their blood. you think you’re any safer with rafe than you were without me here? because i’m telling you right now, you’re not.”
you stand up, your hands balled into fists at your sides. you’ve heard enough. for days now, you’ve listened to him make little digs about rafe, about the camerons, and you’ve kept your mouth shut. but tonight, it’s too much. you can’t keep it in anymore.
“three years, dad. three years you were gone, chasing your stupid treasure, while we were stuck here. john b and i had to figure it out on our own. so don’t stand there and act like you have any right to tell me who i should or shouldn’t be with.”
big john looks at you, stunned, like he’s seeing you for the first time. but you’re not done. there’s too much you’ve kept bottled up, and now it’s all spilling out.
“you care more about that gold than you ever did about us,” you say. “you care more about treasure than you do about being a father. you don’t know anything.”
big john’s face hardens, his jaw clenching as he stares at you. “i know enough,” he says, his voice cold. “i know who the camerons are.”
“yeah?” you snap, your voice breaking. “well, maybe if you’d been here, you’d actually know something about me too.”
you turn on your heel, ready to storm off, but the moment you move, you notice it.
the pogues are silent now, all of them watching. sarah, jj, pope, kie—they’re still, their conversations dropped as they stand there, wide-eyed and uneasy. john b, though, he’s just sitting there with his can of beer held low in his hands, lips pressed together. you can tell he’s heard it all before. he’s not going to step in because he knows you need to let it out.
you’re just done with it. you take a step forward, ready to leave this backyard and the suffocating tension behind. but something stops you, a feeling gnawing at your chest, pulling you back. you hesitate, turning just enough to glance at your dad over your shoulder.
he’s still staring at you, his expression set like stone, as if he’s waiting for you to say more, to take it all back, maybe. but you won’t. not now.
your voice wavers, but it’s steady enough. “i wish you never came back.”
his face doesn’t move, but something flickers in his eyes. you don’t wait for him to respond. you turn away for good this time and walk out, leaving the backyard behind.
Tumblr media
before you know it, you’re at rafe’s house, your knuckles rapping against the door almost frantically. you pace, glancing down at your phone, watching as the notifications keep coming—texts from john b, a few from kie, and even jj. they're all asking the same thing: ‘ where are you? ’ or ‘ are you okay? ’
you drag your hand down your face, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest. before you can get lost in your thoughts, the door swings open, and there he is.
rafe stands in the doorway, his expression unreadable. he leans against the doorframe for a second, his lips slightly parted, taking you in. you know he’s already pieced together what’s happened from the voice messages you left on the way over. not that he’s the type to acknowledge it with some grand gesture or comforting words.
he doesn’t say anything, but he steps aside without much ceremony. you slip past him and leave your phone in the foyer, tossing it carelessly on the side table as you pass, the pinging of messages finally fading into the background.
you make your way down the hallway, not even sure where you’re going, but your feet carry you to the living room. rafe follows close behind, his presence looming, but not overbearing. his eyes are trained on you, watching as you take in the dimly lit room. there’s a bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table, a glass next to it, already finished. it’s so rafe—quiet, controlled chaos.
you stop, your breath shaky, your chest tight, and before you can hold it back, everything comes spilling out.
“he doesn’t get it, rafe. he just doesn’t fucking get anything,” you start, your voice louder than you intend. you turn to face him, your hands gesturing wildly as you try to make sense of the mess of emotions coursing through you. “i mean, he’s been gone for years, and he comes back, and suddenly he thinks he can just . . . control everything? like he gets to have an opinion about my life after everything he’s done. he doesn't even know me anymore.”
rafes eyes are fixed on you, and he’s listening, letting you get it out. his jaw twitches slightly, but he stays silent, just watching as you unravel in front of him.
“and it’s like . . . it’s like no matter what i do, no matter how hard i try, it’s never enough! not for him, not for john b, not for anyone!” your voice cracks, and you press your palms against your temples, trying to hold yourself together, but the tears are already brimming, threatening to spill over. “i didn’t ask for any of this. i didn’t ask to be stuck in the middle of all this shit with my family and you and . . . god, it’s too much.”
you turn away from him, your breath coming out in shallow gasps now as you try to steady yourself. but it’s no use. you’re falling apart, and it feels like the weight of everything is finally crushing you.
before you can say another word, rafe steps forward, his arms sliding around you in one swift motion. “alright, alright, c’mere,” he murmurs, his voice soft but firm. “c’mon.”
you collapse into him, burying your face into his chest, the tears coming freely now. he holds you tight, his chin resting lightly against the top of your head as his hand rubs slow circles on your back.
rafe’s not one for words, and you don’t expect him to be, but this—this is enough. the steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his arms keep you grounded, it’s enough to make the world stop spinning for just a moment.
you don’t say anything else. neither does he. the silence stretches on, but it’s not uncomfortable. for once, you feel like you can breathe.
even though he’s holding you, his mind seems elsewhere—his jaw clenched, muscles rigid beneath the surface. it’s not hard to guess where his thoughts have drifted, especially after everything you told him in those voice messages.
you can tell he’s upset. not just because you’re upset, but because of what your dad said—about him, about his family. his body is stiff as he holds you, and you know him well enough to see the silent anger simmering just beneath the surface. his eyes aren’t on you; they’re somewhere distant, staring past you as if he’s imagining your father’s words in his head.
“i’m sorry about what he said, rafe,” you whisper into his chest, feeling the way his breathing shifts, more shallow now, controlled. “he said something about sarah and john b, too.”
he doesn’t respond right away, but you feel his hand pause against your back, fingers pressing a little harder. for a moment, it feels like he might pull away, but instead, he just tightens his grip on you. his silence speaks volumes. rafe is the type to internalize everything, to let it fester until it boils over, but you can feel it now—the tension thrumming through his entire body.
“doesn’t matter,” he finally mutters, though you can tell by the way his voice is low, that it does. “it’s nothing i haven’t heard before.”
you pull back slightly, just enough to look up at him, and his eyes flick down to meet yours. they’re darker than usual, clouded with frustration, but he still tries to soften his expression for you.
“he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” you say quietly. “he doesn’t know you.”
for a moment, neither of you speaks. rafe’s hand resumes its slow, steady motion against your back, though the tension hasn’t fully left his body. you can feel the war going on inside him—the part of him that’s angry, defensive, but also the part that’s trying to be here for you, to let go of his own frustration long enough to comfort you.
“fuck him,” rafe mutters after a long silence, his voice barely above a whisper. “he doesn’t get to talk about you like that. or me.”
there’s a dangerous edge to his voice now, but you know it’s not directed at you. he’s angry, not just at your dad, but at the situation—the impossible mess you’ve both found yourselves in, caught between your family and his.
“i don’t care what he thinks,” you murmur, holding onto him tighter. “i’m here with you. that’s all that matters.”
he doesn’t respond, but his hand moves to the back of your neck, his fingers curling gently into your hair as he exhales, long and slow, like he’s finally letting go of whatever was eating at him.
for the first time tonight, the room feels quiet as the two of you stand there, wrapped in each other’s arms.
you’re gazing up into his eyes, searching for something—comfort, understanding, maybe a little reassurance. your hands find their way up his shoulders, one resting gently on his collarbone while the other slides higher, rubbing the area around his ear and jaw.
“you know that i love you,” you murmur, your voice soft but steady, as if the confession can dissolve the tension still hanging in the air.
rafe stares down at you, and in that moment, you can see everything in his eyes. he’s never loved anyone more than he loves you—the way you stood your ground against your own dad tonight, defending yourself and defending him and his family. it’s a vulnerable space, one he doesn’t often let himself occupy, but with you, it feels different.
he nods, pressing his lips together as if trying to hold back a flood of emotion. then, with a sudden urgency, he leans down and kisses you deeply. the taste of whiskey lingers on his lips. it’s a kiss that speaks of everything unspoken.
but just as quickly as it begins, he pulls away and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. you close your eyes into the gesture, feeling the warmth of his lips linger against your skin.
rafe goes back to resting his chin on your head, his breath steady as he holds you close again. you breathe in his familiar scent, a mix of sea salt and something distinctly rafe, and let the silence wrap around you like a comforting blanket.
in this moment, nothing else matters. not the fights, not your dad’s harsh words, not the stupid tangled web of family and expectations.
just you and him, together, holding onto each other for as long as you can.
3K notes · View notes