#admired and wholeheartedly cared for despite how differently they see things and shit

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

my souheki warriors kill this gacha video now

[majorasnightmare]

thinking about isobel and ketheric, and my durge and ketheric, and isobel and my durge

like ketheric whos entire personality is centered around being a failed father, dirge who lives solely and exclusively for a father who does not love him, isobel being horribly violated for the sake of fatherly love in the name of a person shell never be again like excuse me this trio of people makes me go insane

ketheric and dirge like!! zealot recognizes zealot, ketheric knows what its like to be devoted wholeheartedly to a god who will discard you and thats explicitly why he has a businesslike relationship with myrkul, who KNOWSSS ketherics heart isnt in it but doesnt care, ketheric who never fully believed in the absolute plan but carried it out nonetheless, ketheric who nonsensically traded the death of the world for his daughters life, who in reality most likely traded his afterlife for isobels life, knowingly condemning himself to never see melodia again, to an eternity of torture at myrkuls hands, just so isobel can breathe again. dirge knowing with perfect clarity his own father would never do that for him. ketheric knowing that kind of hopeless devotion and willful blind ignorance leads to a kind of iron will that makes dirge genuinely dangerous but pitying the poor fool nonetheless because despite dirges clear intelligence and skill, despite his overwhelmingly obvious power, hes shackled to a self destructive idiot whod bite off his own arm just to spite the world who couldnt give a single fuck about dirges mental state or how that affects achieving bhaals OWN goals and fulfilling his OWN desires, because ketheric understands perfectly well a god will be stupid and selfish first and reasonable and measured second. dirge hating ketheric not just for being a wishywashy traitor who cant settle on something to be devoted to, but because ketheric has the shit figured out. its a zero sum game. theres no winning, only different types of losers, and embracing that truth means acknowledging his entire life has been a pointless self destructive waste that will never give him the satisfaction and actualization dirge craves, so its easier and more stable to just interpret ketheric as a coward. except hes going to kill himself for isobel. going to go through hell for her. theres a level of devotion and love and care there that dirge has only experienced once in his life and the memory of it is enough to drive him to madness, but despite it all ketheric IS competent. is level and measured and powerful and capable of looking past his own self interest to the far horizon of victory, is tactical and clever and willing to wade into the fray. so dirge hates, and admires, and envies, and pities, and reflexively seeks out and avoids ketheric in equal measure. wants to carve him up until he finally breaks, screaming for a god that wont hear him as just rewards for his insolence (because dirges loyalty will SURELY be rewarded, loyalty to his god and to his father, certainly), cant stand the idea of working alongside anyone else, hates being around him but hates doing things without him, falling into old habits of depravity just to get away from the cacophany of emotion and the introspection it tries to trigger.

and then ketheric is doing all of this for someone who doesnt really exist. the isobel he wants to revive isnt real. its a version of her thats stripped hollow of the things that make her, HER. he wants an isobel that doesnt love aylin, he wants an isobel that is content to remain in place and be protected by him, where he was the center of her world. he wants an isobel that hasnt existed for over a century. he wants an isobel like he remembers thinking of the days before melodia died. its why despite everything he gives up for her, if ketheric gets his hands on isobel he tadpoles her. the tadpoles are just a convenient tool for cutting away the unnecessary parts of a person, things they dont need and wont want afterwards. isobel mourns the father she had after her mother died, but ketheric wants the isobel she used to be when melodia was still present in their lives. the isobel after melodia died eventually left him for aylin. grew up and became a person outside of their small family and community. had interests and desires and goals that took her away from him. she doesnt need aylin, doesnt need anything besides family. thats whats important, thats whats worth ruining lives over. everything after isobel was just a failed copy, not even worth reminiscing over. everyone beyond isobel doesnt matter. desecrate the family tomb, abuse your son, drag your aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters out from the grave just to see if it works, if it sticks, because the whole world revolves around a little girl who stopped existing long before she died, because she became someone else someone new and left you floundering alone. youll get them back even if it means you burn in hell forever, those few precious moments are worth it, itll all be worth it, its already worth it. kill yourself kill the world because the only god worth dying for is the one found in between poorly scratched letters on a paper rotting from age that say "love you papa, -I T". live every day with the smoke and the rot knowing that your father loved you so much he cant even look at who you are now. live every day knowing its a gift you cant return to a man who doesnt see you, knowing that all youll ever have are ghosts that seek to hollow you out and play pretend with the shell. hes awful. hes horrible. hes a monster. hes your dad and he loves you so much its killing you. will kill you. has killed you. has killed everything you could ever want in your life. hes your dad. he read you stories when you were small. kept you from falling apart when your mother died. your rock in stormy seas. he wants to read you another story. its dark outside. its scary. this story has a happy ending. its just for you. the girl in the picture book has your name but doesnt look like you at all. its written in silver blood. theres an ache that wont leave, a rot that refuses to mend, a scar that wont close, and its all for love

thinking about dirge being the one to drag isobel from her coffin, to bring her back for the sake of sealing a pact that will end the world, going against his entire religion the whole reason for his existence just for the sake of fulfilling his own fathers dreams. children living at the behest of their parents, denied death for their fathers selfish whims. isobel autopsied and opened, layers peeled back. gortash and ketheric never exhumed a body, never prepared it for the grave, never made such an intimate study of death. gortash unwilling to bloody himself unnecessarily, ketheric unwilling to look past the deathmask to see isobels interior, so its dirge, it has to be him, the only one willing to bite down his own desires for the greater good. an unforgivable violation of autonomy, but the only one who thinks of it as such is the scion of the murder god. she cant consent. she cant choose to be apart of this, to sacrifice herself for a cause greater than herself. he has to inflict this upon her. life is suffering and madness and delusion. death is peace, and he is the holy vessel of transition from one state to the other. this? this is blasphemy. she has already fled this horrid blighted world for a better one, and here he is participating in blasphemous ritual. its for the sake of their plan, its for the sake of enacting his fathers dreams (as all children know, you are naught but a vessel to achieve the goals they could not in their time), but she cannot even take glory in the knowledge of her sacrifice, cannot even know she is a sacrifice until its too late to go back. carves open and peels back the picturesque skin, preserved by gloom and arid darkness and sealed stone to keep away the rot. peeling away the mask of Isobel Thorm to see the visceral rotting insides of a person ketheric cant stand to see.

clearing away the ruin and decay so something new can take its place. corpses are objects fled of souls, no longer a person, no longer anything and thus free to toy and play with as boredom and curiosity desires, but this is not a thing. this will again be a person, a vessel to trap someone inside of, to force them to suffer and persist and delude and live and he cant even ask if shell do it. do it to help him break the world and put an end to this madness forever. cant convince her of the rightousness of it, the necessity of it, cant help but use her for it. to gortash she is a token exchanged for power, to ketheric she is a snapshot of a better world he wants to go back to, but only here on this dirty bloodstained table with a bhaalspawn elbow deep in her organs is she a person, whos autonomy and personhood is being irrevocably violated. his nature is to free them of these shackles, to snip the cords and revel in the ensuing destruction, and here he is binding her again. the humiliation, the horror, of being set loose from this hellscape only to be brought back. to be dragged, kicking and screaming, back into living. to be subject to such awful blasphemy. here in the dark and the quiet where there is no voice to speak back to him, when there is no rushing blood or beating hearts to call forth his purpose, there and then does armageddons prophet desire forgiveness, only in this shadowed purgatory can someone truly see. when all the world lies dead at my feet, i will beg forgiveness from no one but you. lamb on the altar, holy blood, if such desecration was not necessary for the cleansing of suffering, i would never deign to subject you to it. to you alone do i tender my apologies, my blessed father may forgive this sin in light of the retribution it will call forth, but cruel fate has chosen you without your knowledge to bear this disgusting violation, and the only salve i can offer is that, gods willing, you will not suffer long. to live in a world that could give rise to something like me is a torture i would not wish upon anyone, and for the sake of my father i inflict it upon you nonetheless. when you rise, my only thoughts will be of murder, holy and pure. but here in the dark, when you are at peace and i am not, i think of you, and what youd want, and how no one would ever, COULD ever, ask for what i do to you here. here in the quiet i breathlessly whisper a prayer meant only for your ears, a second sin i cannot stop myself from committing, here where you cannot hear me but God surely can, a wish that i will surely pay for dearly, a punishment i endure willingly and without complaint, a smallest fraction of the torment i knowingly inflict upon you. i live, and soon so shall you, and for that, i will never know peace.

im so sorry. i did it for love

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned. 

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why. 

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases. 

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one. 

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time. 

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly. 

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L  L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

[ghoulciifer]

submission:

@androgynouswordsmyth: “Hi Tum c: this is for your matchup event! 5’6”, with an hourglass figure, has that broad shouldered goddess energy going on. Used to swim competitively in highschool & still have a nice shape. Would describe my style as athletic comfort meets swamp witch. Love wearing black, it goes with everything. But also one of those people that wears workout clothes because they’re comfortable & easy. An admirer of all things relating to the occult & witchcraft. I have two tattoos small ones on my upper thigh & on the inside of my bicep. Often asks “What’s your sign?” Green eyes & shoulder length brown hair that is dyed seafoam green. I am soft spoken & gentle when I interact with everybody. All about self growth & healing. A huge advocate for self care. Love venting about my dumb corporate job. Deep down I'm a rebel anarchist. Often says things like “I’m just a cog in their machine” or “metal till I die”. My end game is writing fantasy novels for a living writing is my passion. I am a person who gets lost in thought & day dreams, a homebody who is fatigued & curls up in bed with Netflix playing in the background while I write rp responses or some of my own stuff. I have depression & anxiety, which I manage with both medication & therapy. Am attracted to bad boys/girls. Kindness & respect in my relationships are important, emotional maturity & a sense of humor are huge & my favorite color is dark pine green. Someone from BNHA, NSFW. Write what feels right.”

notes: aiden! i’m so happy you participated in my event, also you seem like the coolest person? ever? so of course i had to pair you up with one of the coolest dudes in bnha! your support means the world, thank you so much for being my mutual on this hell app ❥

why i matched you:

» you and dabi would get along exceptionally well, both with how you are and how you present yourself. your inner anarchists would collide beautifully and no doubt lead you two into trouble, but who else would you rather start a riot with than someone like him? he thinks it’s kickass that you understand what it means to be a pawn in society’s game, and has no issue with having you by his side to tear that shit down.

» dabi really adores your aesthetic. he finds it incredibly intriguing and thinks it suits your personality well; your hair, your occult lifestyle, and boy does he love your tattoos. he often offers to pay (w stolen money ofc) for you to get more if you want them - one of the best ways of self expression is covering yourself with art, and he supports it wholeheartedly. he likes to trace the ink on your skin during intimate moments and often finds himself admiring them elsewhere, thinking about how gorgeous you’d look with a few more pieces in places only he could see.

» though he might not be as poetic as you, dabi admires your creativity and urges you to keep up with your passion. he’s going to be super lowkey about it but he shows that feeling by doing smaller things, like picking up notebooks for you here and there or offering to get you better quality pens for when you’re brainstorming a story. he won’t tell you but he sometimes reads your stories at night while you’re sleeping (only the ones you’ve offered for him to read, though), and is always left in awe of how talented his girl is.

» when he’s not painting the town red or burning someone to a crisp, he’s more than happy to stay at home with you and curl up with a good show. despite his wicked, cold demeanor he’s actually very affectionate with the person he chooses to pursue! so expect lots of gentle touches, lazy kisses here and there, soft whispers here and there about how warm you are and how nice you feel against his charred skin. he’s not afraid to show you his love because if you can stick with someone like him, well, that’s proof enough that you’re worth it all.

» dabi never does anything without purpose. every action he takes is a part of the grander scheme of things, and he does so with such a drive that is rivaled by most heroes. so you can definitely check maturity off your list. as far as humor goes? he’s a smug bastard, and his sly remarks and teases are aimed directly at you for the sole purpose of making you smile. sometimes he’ll just sit and say the dumbest things to see how hard he can make you laugh, because in a life surrounded by death and darkness, your giggles really help him see it all in a different light.

» dabi’s experienced enough trauma to understand what your inter turmoil is like, but he’s beyond proud of you for taking charge and handling it however you can. he’ll be your biggest supporter when you need it and is so goddamn protective of you. you’ll never not feel safe, because it’s that constant worry in the back of his mind about how just being with him puts a target on your back that pushes him to take extra precaution. you might have a few close calls here and there because, let’s face it, villains are ruthless - but at the end of the day he’s always able to pull you right back to him and remind you he’ll always come for you.

drabble:

Dabi rolls off of your spent body with a slight groan, the thin sheen of sweat covering both of your bodies glowing in the dim light of the bedroom. Your chests rise and fall to a steady rhythm of labored breathing - and as much as you both loved being tangled with each other mere minutes ago, you need a second to let your sweltering skin cool off and your aching muscles to relax after that particularly tiring session. Dabi catches the exasperated sigh escaping your lips and grins from your slumped form in his peripheral.

He always thought you looked the most beautiful like this. When your eyes were half lidded and pupils blown, skin covered in teeth marks and bruises, hair haphazardly strewn about on the pillows. It was a sign he did a job well done, and the image brands itself into his memory every time he’s lucky enough to see it happen. Lost in his daydream, he doesn’t see that sinfully innocent smile tug at the corners of your mouth when you catch him zoning in on your post sex euphoria.

“Y’know, you’re more than welcome to take a picture… they last much longer.”

He laughs, a short exhale from his pierced nose, “I might just do that, doll. Next time.”

Your smile grows wider and you prop yourself up on your elbows, sliding over the tangled sheets to get closer to him and be able to reach and trace over the stapled skin of his chest with delicate fingertips. He closes his eyes at the feeling before loosely wrapping an arm around your lower back, thumb gliding back and forth just below your ribs.

You bask in this comfortable silence for what feels like a lifetime. This was your favorite part of the aftercare, just enjoying each other’s presence that much more as you regain a stable heartbeat, eventually letting Dabi gather you in his strong hands to lay you over his scarred chest when the cool air overstays its welcome on his skin. Once your cheek meets his chest he leans forward to ghost a kiss into your damp hairline, lips lingering there a bit longer every time. The steady beat of his heart usually lulled your eyes closed with its melody. At this point, it was all routine.

Dabi is the first to break the silence, the deep gravel in his voice reverberating through his chest against your ear, “Y’know… if we’re gonna fall asleep like this, the least you could do is read me a bedtime story.”

“Too tired… s’your fault.” he feels your smile and hot breath against his pectoral, broad chest rumbling in laughter at your quip.

“Hm, guess I need to go easier next time. But you weren’t complaining when I was balls dee-“

“Dabi!” You smack his skin and whip your head upward to look him in the eye with a look of feigned shock, and it's hard to contain the giggle that escapes from your dropped jaw. He chuckles again before craning his neck to leave a peck at your bottom lip, his hand raising to push your head gently down to his chest again, the other finding its way beneath the pillow under his head.

“Shh, just go to sleep, stupid.”

“Shut up… dummy.”

matchups are CLOSED! thank you to those who entered or have been keeping up with this event! remember you can check to see updates on matchups + if your matchup has been posted via the #tumplaysmatchmaker tag!

[peteparked]

ok. but. i love pepper potts character development, from “you’re going to kill yourself and I’m not going to be a part of it” to “but will you be able to rest” to rescue to “you can rest now”. i’ve seen people calling her the strongest woman in the mcu, and even though i didn’t really feel strongly about it, now i wholeheartedly agree. there was something I really admired and loved about her, and it’s that she didn’t change her entire “being” through everything that has happened. she didn’t suddenly get buff, learn to fistfight, or stray too far from who she is. there was always something gentle about her, her carefulness and her vibe (for the lack of a better word because im not actually smart), she was the kind that looks in peace, she’s clean and organised, and (again i can’t really express that feeling, because she reminds me too much of a friend) she has that entire calm and collected vibe, the kind that would “oh my god that was really violent” after beating the shit out of a guy on fire. but through everything, she still stayed that calming presence, but managed to grow mentally and emotionally in a capacity that is just amazing. and because endgame was the most recent movie, here are just some examples

firstly, the time tony was hesitant about going through with the time travel idea. he’d talked to pepper, and through that conversation it was as if he hoped that pepper would talk him out of it, but he wanted and needed pepper to give him the strength and the steel to go for it. i was absolutely awestruck and lowkey in love when pepper, instead of telling him the risks and how dangerous it would be to both him and the family, understood the part in tony that would never be able to let this go in peace, and the part that will always do right. she understood all that tony went through, she understood the self-sacrificial streak, the utter lack of self preservation instincts, and she understood the guilt and anxiety that thanos has caused, and how tony, already plagued with nightmares, would never be able to rest knowing that he could have fix everything, but turned away instead. she knew that tony wasn’t selfish, but he was scared (reasonably so), and that he needed the strength to continue (someone who understood what he went / was going through, not the mindless yelling presented by steve and co.), he needed the support of the the love of his life, and the only person that could give him that was pepper. so despite her own fear of her husband possibly dying and the lure of how their life could be like it was for the past five years forever, she understood, and she gave him the courage and comfort that she would always be there to support him.

the second would be rescue. pepper potts, the least violent, the most prim and proper person ever, was wearing that death suit in the middle of the greatest fight in history. and the thing i loved most about this was her collectedness. she wasn’t trained for this, i don’t think she’s ever been in the middle of something like this, but she still came on and handled everything like a pro. she was all “i got this” (or was it i got you) and she was literally the most calm person there was. and i loved that, because that didn’t take physical strength (ok it did but that wasn’t the main thing), it took crazy mental strength to step into a war zone and not freak out. and that 2 second, blink-and-you-miss-it moment where rescue and iron man went back to back was the literal best thing ever, it was the literal embodiment of “i got you” “i got you first”, only that it was that pepper will always have tony’s back (yes, literally), she’ll follow him (not mindlessly), wherever he is and she’ll protect him like he protects her. she’ll be his stone, his anchor even in all this chaos. and honestly, that was the most badass scene ever, she’s a strong, capable woman and she’s got this. and it was a huge leap for her character, definitely, but as i said, she still managed to stay the same person she is, even in the middle of a huge death battle.

and lastly (although there are tons of amazing scenes and such, but i’m tired and it’s already way too long), the final tony scene. the silent strength radiating from her was amazing, she knew she had to be strong enough for the both of them. she’s managed to be strong for tony before, but this was different, because this time she could barely think, breathe or talk herself. through all the movies she’s been in, it was always obvious that tony dying was one of her greatest fears. all those times she’s freaked out about tony getting injured / almost dying and everything, this time it’s real. it’s painfully real, and she still manages to keep her tears from spilling, she still talks to him without her voice shaking, she still smiles at him like everything is okay. the love of her life was suffering and dying, and she still finds the strength in her to reassure him, to give him the closure and peace to leave. she still demonstrates the collectednes in front of tony, and she even orders him to look at her. because that’s something she does, and she knows that tony would want the last thing he looks at to be her. even in this, she was giving him strength. look at the way he suddenly looks alive, even has the strength to speak when pepper arrives, the way he smiles at her and the way he tried to express all his love in just a look. she gave him that strength, and it’s amazing. and the moment tony leaves and she just breaks down was heartwrenching, because she tried so hard and she’s only going to let herself cry when she knows those tears can’t hurt tony anymore, because tony can’t see them.

ok small bonus thing: the part where tony’s in space and pepper has to go through almost a month of wondering and praying if he’s alive, or if he’s safe and whether he’ll be back alive and just imagine the torture and the pain of that and she stilk pulled through that was amazing on its own

and it was beautiful, the sheer strength in her character, in the prim woman who grew from a secretary (?) to the ceo, to tony’s wife, his pillar of support, and finally to the strongest woman in the mcu. i love and admire her so much.

[yehet-me-up]

Conquest

Pairing: frat boy!Changkyun/I.M x reader

Rating: M for language/sexy times

Genre: College!AU, smut

Word Count: 3,785

Summary: You’re used getting what you want, who you want. You take pleasure in each conquest, but tonight you may have met your match. 

Monsta X Kinks series part six: Spanking 🖐🏻🍑

The first time you see him, you have only one thought - you hate hate hate the smug look on his face. You can practically feel the arrogance radiating off him from across the party and you want to do anything you can to wipe it off him.

He hasn’t even noticed you yet, but the way he carries himself is a gauntlet thrown at your feet in challenge. He carries himself like he’s God’s gift to the women of MXU. As if the fact that he’s in the hottest fraternity on campus means he can eye the women coming through the door like they are prized cuts of meat, ripe for tasting.

He might think he can have everything he wants, but he hasn’t met you yet.

‘Dibs on that one,’ you say with a smirk, elbowing your friend Renee.

‘Which one? There’s so many to choose from,’ she says with wide eyes.

‘The cocky one in the corner.’ You lift your chin to point to where the man is holding court in the corner over a keg.

‘Are you kidding me? Him?’ she gasps and straightens the hemline of her dress. ‘Changkyun is like… a ladykiller.’

You snort. ‘Please. I’ll have him begging for it by hmmm -’ You look at your watch. ‘By midnight.’

She rolls her eyes at you, always amused by the thrill you get from the chase. 

That’s the secret, to hunt them while making them think they’re the ones hunting you. It’s all about playing them right, to make yourself the quarry they’ve been longing for, you think savagely as you find your group of friends in the corner.

‘We’ve got a live one on our hands tonight ladies,’ Renee announces to Shireen and Lindsey with amusement.

Lindsey laughs out loud and pretends to look around the party with her hand on her brow. ‘Ooooh who’s tonight’s victim?’

Renee motions subtly to Changkyun in the corner and Lindsey whistles.

‘Going straight for the alpha tonight, eh?’ Lindsey says and bumps you with her hip.

‘You know me Linds,’ you say with honey in your voice. ‘I always go for the jugular.’

They don’t realize you’re the predator, not the prey, until they wake up and realize you’re gone. Get what you want from them and then get out before you can get hurt. That’s the trick.

Your friends watch you with a combination of encouragement and concern. They’ve long ago stopped trying to get you to have, you know, a real relationship again and turned instead to encouraging you to be safe on this warpath you’re hell-bent on cutting through the men of MXU.

‘Anyone care for a drink?’ you ask the group. Renee raises her hand and you nod, heading off for the keg.

As you make your way through the crowd, you study him. His laugh is easy, congenial. The picture perfect All-American college stud. You’d bet your car on him being a Business major or something to do with sports. He’s got the look down, you’ll give him that. Light brown hair artfully tousled across his forehead. Dark wash jeans and a white button down, Timbs. Classy, approachable, yet undeniably lust-inducing.

Which character will it be tonight? you muse. Student athlete looking for a different kind of workout? Poetry major looking for a connection? Maybe a sweet freshman at her first kegger? Fumble with the pump so he has to step in and help; eyes wide and voice pitched higher. Grab his biceps and coo. Pretend you’re not experienced to inflate his ego?

Nah. Not tonight, you think with a shake of your head. Something raw and needy is flowing in your veins and you need more of a challenge. Tonight you decide to be yourself, just with the volume turned up.

When you approach the keg you finally make eye contact with him. For a moment the clean image he presents fades away and you get a glimpse of the animal within. He admires your calves, the cleavage on display in the dress you wear.

You meet his look with a snarky raise of your brow and resolutely ignore him. Instead, you expertly get yourself a cup of what is undoubtedly cheap beer, ensuring that you bend your back to show off your ass. Behind your back you can hear male voices discussing and you smile to yourself while you fill another cup.

It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, truly.

Without giving him a second glance, you walk back through the crowd. You’d be willing to wager that not many girls leave him in the dust. Good, you think. You can only imagine the slew of broken hearts he’s left across this campus.

The beer is indeed gross, but by the time you finish the cup you’re laughing at Shireen’s story of her idiotic professor you’ve already acclimated to the taste. With a last sip you finish the cup and frown at it. It’s too soon to make another pass through the kitchen. He needs time to want you first, you think.

‘Can I offer you another?’ comes a deep voice from next to you.

The man in question is standing there, holding out a blue cup to you with his brow raised in question. Renee giggles behind you and you sigh. If he’s already coming over to you, he must be an easier catch than you thought. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

‘Thanks,’ you say, eyeing the cup. ‘But I don’t drink anything I didn’t pour myself.’

You smile up at him and he laughs. He’s not offended by the insinuation and you give him a point for that. There’s interest in his irises when he meets your gaze. Interest and something else you can’t name.

With a dramatic bow he motions toward the kitchen. ‘Might I accompany you to refill your own cup then?’

For a long moment you consider him before finally nodding. ‘Alright then. Lead the way, handsome.’

He drops a hand to your waist, ghosting over your lower back as he guides you through the crowd. 

‘Handsome, huh?’ The sound is low against your ear and you shiver despite the heat in the room.

When you turn to sass him he’s closer than you expected. Close enough to see the flecks of gold in his eyes. Close enough to smell his cologne, something woodsy and spicy and definitely not Axe Body Spray.

‘You know you’re handsome. Don’t act like you’re not used to flattery,’ you say while leaning in to let your lips tease the shell of his ear.

He laughs and watches as you fill your own cup. ‘Something tells me you don’t offer flattery often, unless there’s something you want. So I’ll take the compliment either way.’

When you stand he’s leaning back against the counter drinking the cup he’d offered you. He holds your gaze and licks his lips. 

You lean against the window ledge behind you. ‘So you weren’t trying to drug me. Do you think that makes you a prince or something?’ you say harshly before taking a large swallow.

This upsets him; brows pulling together, mouth thinning to a line. ‘I might not be the nicest guy in the world, but I stand for none of that here.’ He waits until you meet his eyes again. ‘I take nothing that isn’t given freely to me.’

You lift your shoulder and let it fall. ‘Good. It still doesn’t mean you’ll ever get anything from me, but thanks for playing.’

His expression melts into something more seductive. ‘What makes you think I want anything from you?’

Oh, he’s good. ‘Do you regularly offer beverages to women you’ve never met before?’

‘Maybe. It’s a free country. I believe wholeheartedly in hydrating everyone who comes into my house.’

‘I can fend for myself just fine,’ you challenge.

‘I’ll bet you can do lots of things just fine by yourself,’ he says with a wink. ‘But aren’t some things better with… help?’

The moment stretches out while you two size each other up. Fine, he is hot. You’ll give him that. You wouldn’t sleep with just anyone.

His chest looks broad and strong beneath his shit. The veins on his hands, cording up his forearms, make you imagine what they’d feel like holding you against a wall while he fucks you. His lips are full and red and you wonder what sounds he’d make when you pull the lower one between your teeth.

The familiar heat blooms low in your body, the itch you can never quite seem to scratch. You wonder just how empty and unfulfilled he’ll leave you when this is over. If you’ll take enough from him to make this worth the effort.

‘What’s your major?’ he asks casually.

You frown. ‘Don’t pretend like you care.’

He opens his arms wide, not letting you off the hook. ‘I’m just trying to get to know you here. Or do you normally have sex with men without knowing their name?’

The question is a knife to the chest, re-opening the wound you worry will never heal. The hurt animal inside you wants to roar at him. 

In two steps you’re toe to toe with him. ‘Maybe. Maybe that’s what I like. Rough, impersonal sex. And lots of it.’

He holds your gaze, seems to stare down into your soul as he breathes deeply at your closeness. A question runs through his eyes and after a moment he gives voice to it. ‘Why me?’

‘Huh?’ he startles you and you step back into a person filling their cup at the keg.

With his free hand he reaches for your elbow, steadying you. ‘You know what I mean. I saw you notice me when you came in. Why’d you pick me?’

You deflect easily. ‘Why’d you pick me? You were the one that came over.’

He gives you a lopsided grin and you wonder again what his mouth would taste like. ‘I figure it would be one of two things. Either we’d hit it off…’

‘Or?’ you push him, mostly to distract yourself.

This was supposed to be a game. He was supposed to undress you literally, not expose your secrets.

‘Or the hate-sex would be great.’ He licks along his lower lip, eyes fixated on the line of your neck. ‘Whichever way it goes, I’d get to spend the night with you.’

The hopefulness in his voice slips underneath your defenses and makes your heart flip. You hate the feeling and how vulnerable it makes you. The armor you’ve taken to wearing around your heart slides into place with a comforting weight.

‘Sorry, I’m closed for the night.’

You turn to leave but he reaches a gentle hand for your shoulder. ‘If you don’t want to sleep with me, we could always discuss this week’s reading.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Masculinities: contestation, circulation, and transformation? Tuesdays and Thursdays with Professor Khan?’

He says it with a smile that you recognize so well you want to scream.

The smile you give to men who assume you can’t play pool or fix your own tire or school them at comic book trivia. The smile of satisfaction you let cover you with pride when you’ve called someone on their shitty assumptions. And now it’s your turn to feel chastised.

‘You’re in my women’s studies class?’ you say, shocked.

‘I am indeed. I’m planning on getting an MBA in sports management. I want to have a thorough understanding of the male psyche and its impact on the feminine. I want to represent men’s and women’s teams equally.’

‘How have I not noticed you?’

His cheeks turn pink. ‘Well, I normally wear my glasses and a beanie to fit in.’ He shrugs. ‘This isn’t what you normally wear, either though, is it?’

You look down at the low-cut, thigh-grazing black dress and razor-sharp stilettos you wear and laugh. ‘No. It’s not. My friend Renee calls it my ‘on the prowl’ outfit.’

He whistles. ‘That’s definitely a name for it. I like it. I also like what you normally wear. I have to say I’m flattered you picked me as your target for the night.’

The reality of him is so separate from the fantasy you’d constructed you want to cackle. A few minutes ago you wanted to throw your drink in his face before launching yourself into his arms and sticking your tongue into his mouth. 

Now you have no idea what you’re dealing with and it makes you feel raw and exposed and needy.

‘I don’t think we should sleep together tonight,’ you say so quietly you’re not sure he hears you.

He nods. ‘That’s fine with me. I’m just happy you’re talking to me. I’ve been trying to get your attention all semester,’ he says and runs a hand through his hair in embarrassment.

‘I’m sorry if I ignored you, I’ve-’ you start, thinking of how different things were in December compared to now. How different you were. ‘My boyfriend cheated on me over break and I’ve kind of been… throwing myself into forgetting him.’

There’s a warmth in his eyes that eases something cold and tight and aching inside you. ‘He’s an absolute idiot. If I had someone as intelligent and engaging and hot as you I’d never let you go.’

‘Maybe we should sleep together, then,’ you laugh bitterly. ‘Then you can get sick of me, too.’

He leans closer and you feel his breath against the sensitive skin of your shoulder exposed by your dress. ‘I highly doubt that.’

When he pulls back you almost toss your cup and grab him. But you cling to your sanity and breathe instead, torn between running out the door and taking a chance on him. 

Something in you tells you to trust your instincts, that you chose him the moment you walked in for a reason; saw beneath his facade as quickly and easily as he did yours, even if you didn’t realize it at the time.

‘Prove it,’ you say, like a prayer. A plea for him to know you in all the ways you’ve been denied in the past.

Like a runner at the starting gun he seems to jump into motion. He takes your cup and his and tosses them in the enormous recycle bin. The reassuring warmth and firmness of his hand encloses yours and he leads you through the party to the wide staircase.

You hold on to him and follow him up two flights and down a hallway, the noise of the party fading away with every step. His room is easily three times the size of your dorm room.

He kicks off his shoes and notices your surprise. ‘Being the president has its perks,’ he laughs. ‘Privacy is definitely one of them.’

With your back you close the door, watching him and crossing your arms. ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ you ask.

He reaches for the edge of his shirt and tugs it over his head, tossing it to the floor. With heat and need in his eyes he walks towards you. The movement highlights the cut of his torso, the defined lines of his chest and abs that you suddenly want to drag your teeth along.

‘I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,’ he says, reaching both hands out and resting them against the door behind your head. ‘Are you sure you want me, this?’

The past few months sex has been about taking. With your ex you gave him everything, all that you had to give. Over the last few weeks you took without apology. You came first, literally and figuratively. Screamed and moaned with pleasure and didn’t care who heard or what they thought of you.

But with him you know you’re going to give him something in return. Tonight he’s asking more of you and you wonder if you’re ready to go there again.

You reach out a hand and run it along his jaw, trailing it down his chest, his stomach. Your fingers dance along the line of his pants and savor the sharp inhale of breath he takes.

He doesn’t let you hide; holds your focus and watches you intently. Soft as a breeze he leans forward and presses a light kiss on your forehead, asking you to trust him. It undoes you, the need within you rushing forward to meet him. You kick off your heels and stand on your toes to press your lips to his.

The motion pulls his body against yours and you wish you could rip off your dress to feel his skin against yours. Suddenly, you’re unable to get enough of him.

He responds eagerly, bringing a hand to cup your head while he works his lips against yours with a groan. The other arm bands along your back, anchoring him to you as you taste him.

‘More,’ you moan against his open mouth. ‘Now.’

‘Thank god,’ he says in return.

He bends, not breaking the seal of the kiss. The rough heat of his palms trace the backs of your knees, your thighs, before settling on your ass possessively. In one fluid motion he pulls you into his arms, guiding your legs around his waist.

You tug at his hair, pulling his lip between your teeth. Just as you hoped, he growls against you, hands kneading the flesh of your ass and pulling you against his arousal. 

Tonight, you want to see what happens when you let him take charge, anxious to see how he’ll guide you both to completion. What he’ll mould you into with his hands and lips and cock; if you’ll like the person you become underneath him or on top of him.

‘I need to get my hands on you,’ he laughs against your mouth, his voice full of need.

He looks around and walks you back to his couch, sitting down so you straddle him. Freed of their job of holding you up, his hands seem greedy to know the feel of all of you. You watch as he strokes along your thighs, breathing hard in sync with him.

To help him you grab the edges of the dress and tug it over your head. Your hair lands along your shoulders, teasing the bare skin.

The way he savors the newly exposed skin makes you swallow. Before you can even breathe he grasps your hips firmly and pulls you flush against him, dropping his lips to the rise of your breasts over your bra eagerly. His mouth on the delicate flesh makes you whine and grip his shoulders to hold yourself.

He doesn’t rush and you like him the better for it. Instead, he takes his time, pulling down the fabric of your bra and licking first one nipple and then the other. 

It could be minutes or it could be hours that you spend with his tongue on your chest, you lose track of time. Your hands bury themselves in his hair and your hips grind against his erection of their own volition.

When he’s inside you, it won’t be like before. You know this and try to prepare yourself.

He unclasps your bra and cups your breasts with his wide hands and you try to prepare yourself for how it will feel to come around him.

You lift yourself so he can slide off his jeans and underwear and you try to prepare yourself for how he will look when he buries himself inside you.

He reaches for a condom in the side-table and you stand, holding his gaze. Sliding your underwear off, you aren’t prepared for how it feels to stand before him, truly naked down to your heart and soul. Asking him to see you and want you.

‘Beautiful,’ is all he can say when you settle yourself on his lap once more, reaching for his face with both hands.

‘Perfect,’ is all he can say when you take him inside you, so deep you both groan at the perfection of it.

‘Mine,’ is what he says, holding you tight enough to bruise, when you clench around him and gasp.

You ride him with vigor, matching the rhythm of his thrusts into you. It feels so good and right you can’t keep your eyes open, clinging to him and drowning in him. 

He grasps your hips, pulling you against him and angling you so he hits a spot deep within you.

‘Fuck,’ you whine, tugging him up to your lips by his hair.

The build of your orgasm inside you is a tidal wave you can’t control. He licks your mouth and you swallow his groans. He’s just as lost and close as you are. 

Was this what you were waiting for? you wonder as the sounds of your sex drowns out all else. Someone to see you and match you?

The slap of his hand against your ass shocks you, biting and sharp at first and making you gasp. He pulls back to watch you, kneading the flesh, not slowing his thrusts.

‘Too much?’ he pants, searching for signs you want him to stop.

The sting fades to pleasure and you clench around him. ‘No, God. Please don’t stop.’

He smiles, wide and wolf-like. This time he spanks the other cheek, drawing a groan from your throat. His mouth finds your neck and sucks, the sensation sending pleasure down your spine to your core.

‘Please.’ It’s all you can say as you take him deep inside you, matching each of his thrusts.

You preen, becoming a wild and unruly creature as his hands make the skin of your ass so sensitive you want to scream. His grip tightens as he slams into you, uneven and desperate, and you know he’s just as close as you are.

‘Come with me,’ he groans against you.

The need to orgasm is so strong you can’t even manage words, just a noise of assent. You drop your hand to where your bodies meet, finding your clit. In seconds you explode around him with a strangled scream.

You collapse into his arms, panting. He holds you to him, his arms heavy and strong against your sweat-slicked back. After a beat, you pull back to watch him with confusion, wondering at how different this night ended than it began. 

And it’s not even ten o’clock, you notice his clock with amusement.

‘Want to go again?’ he laughs, dropping a gentle kiss to your lips.

‘You’re not sick of me?’ you answer, watching him with wonder.

‘God, no,’ he says, voice absent of all joking, brushing your hair behind your ears. ‘I’ll never get enough of you.’

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Such a Softer Sin (Chapter thirteen)

(Chapter one)     (Chapter two)     (Chapter three)     (Chapter four)     

(Chapter five)     (Chapter six)     (Chapter seven)     (Chapter eight)

(Chapter nine)     (Chapter ten)     (Chapter eleven)     (Chapter twelve)

Yes, two chapters again lololol.

Serious talks, forgiveness, and some good old fashioned ribbing each other.

-------------------------------------

When Lila stopped staring at the broken table longingly, the table that once was the place for their family like meals together, she turned to see Connor sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly with Murphy sat next to him. The twins didn't need to talk to each other, they could communicate from thoughts, feelings and looks alone. And Connor knew the lass had forgiven his brother before she even sat down on the mattress with them. He was glad she had. He knew she had every right not to, Murphy's behavior had been so appalling his brother was ready to tear his limbs off. But he knew underneath it all, Murphy was just hurt and confused, he was scared and he had handled it terribly. But Lila had found it in her big beautiful heart to forgive him, and Connor admired her for that.

She sat down in front of them, tossing the new key in Connors lap and playing with her fingers before glancing at them both.

“I want to clear the air. If we’re all gonna move on from this and be friends again then we need to talk, or shits gonna get awkward.” She sighed, shooting them a rueful smile. They just nodded quietly, letting her continue with what she wanted to say. Connor reached out and gripped the back of Murphy’s neck, a gesture Lila noticed he did a lot when Murphy was upset, as if it comforted and grounded him.

“I don't need to tell you both that what you did wasn't okay, you've made it pretty clear you see that now. I need some time to trust you again like I did, but I’ll get there. You two really hurt me but...I care about you too much to just walk away. I need you both in my life, and I get that you didn't do it to hurt me. I just need to make it clear that if I find out you’ve pulled this kind of shit again, I won't be sticking around. This is the only warning you'll get, and honestly, you're lucky you're even getting it. I was ready last night to just leave.” She said softly as she leveled her gaze on the two of them. They both looked guilty and sad as they nodded in agreement. They were beyond grateful for the second chance, and to hear her say she cared too much to walk away, it made their hearts ache.

“Won't ever happen again lass, I can promise ye that. We were selfish and it was wrong.” Connor sighed, he still looked sleepy and Lila had to fight a smile at how adorable he looked.

“As long as we're clear, I'd like us to be friends again. I miss how it was, the three of us. We can't pretend what happened, didn't happen, but I'd like to just try and move on from it. We don't need to drag it up and go over it over and over again. It's done, it can't be changed. You upset me and you know it, you've said sorry. There's no point dwelling on the past, life's too short.” She said quietly. The boys agreed wholeheartedly, they were more than pleased for the opportunity to make things right, even more so for Murphy after what he had done. They all wanted to go back to how it was and they were more than happy never to bring it up again like she suggested. She was right, it was done, no use crying over spilled milk and all that. They needed to earn back her trust, and they fucking would. They realized the error of their ways and they were not in the habit of making the same mistake twice.

They sat there for a minute, the boys looking at Lila carefully as she watched them. As if they were making sure they were all on the same page and okay to move on. Connor and Murphy didn't need to look at each other, they could feel each other out, especially with Connors hand on Murphy's neck, taking a mental evaluation of the other. They all knew it was going to be a little weird at first, but they needed to push through it until things were normal again. Since Lila and Murphy had extra stress after Murphy's outburst, Connor took it upon himself once again, to be the one to take initiative.

“Well then...shall we go for some breakfast?” He asked with a smile as he held up the key, trying to break any tension left over. Lila felt her stomach growl at the mere mention of food and she nodded with a smile, before looking over to the couch where a sleeping Rocco lay.

“Shouldn't we wait for Rocco?” She asked quizzically. Murphy snorted and shook his head.

“Nay love, he’ll sleep like the dead ‘til the afternoon.” He said, giving her a somewhat shy smile, still feeling tentative about even talking to her. She felt her chest constrict hearing him call her love again but she didn't bring it up. It made her happy and she knew if she said anything or made it obvious she was shocked, he would act like a spooked animal. She wasn't sure he even knew he had done it since it was such a habit.

She remembered her harsh words the night before, telling him she wasn't his girl. It sent a jolt of guilt through her body. Of course, technically she wasn't his girl, or Connors. But she had enjoyed that endearing term. It only made her mad in the moment because the of what had happened, telling people she belonged to them, like some kind of fucking dog, it rubbed her up the wrong way. She thought about mentioning it to him at some point, telling him he could call her that and apologising. Now the anger had faded, she remembered the heartbreaking look on his face once those words left her lips, visibly recoiling like she had smacked him. She knew what had happened wouldn't just vanish, it would loom over them like a dark cloud ready to spill over and rain down on them. But she wanted to fucking try and go back to normal. She knew they were sorry and it wouldn't happen again, and she hoped that was enough, like an umbrella to shield her from the downpour.

They all got up and got dressed, once again matching with their jeans and black tops. The boys wore their long sleeve tees and Lila put on a black sweater. It wasn't just for warmth, she wanted to cover to bruises Murphy had left on her because she couldn't deal with the questions, not just yet. She also hated how Murphy's eyes wandered to them and how she could see the pain behind his eyes, knowing what he had done to her. She wasn't sure if Connor had picked up on them yet, if he had he hadn't said anything and she was grateful. Murphy didn't need to feel any more guilty than he already did and she wasn't sure how Connor would react to seeing the marks, she didn't want a repeat of the night before. She put her messy hair up in a ponytail, as usual a few strands framing her face, and she slipped her boots on.

The walk to the diner was strange, Lila once again could feel the dark cloud above them. Normally the boys were all smiles and full of laughter, they'd touch her hands and arms or briefly wrap an arm around her shoulder or waist. But this time, even though she was in the middle of them, they kept a slight distance. Usually they were so close it was right in her personal space and she didn't mind it. The boys were reluctant to touch her, despite their hands itching to reach out to her. They thought it might have been too soon for that, even with Lilas words of asking for things to be how they were. They were not sure if she would be ready for that just yet.

“Tá sé seo chomh fucking Connor crua (This is so fucking hard Connor).” Murphy muttered over her head to his brother, his face looking like a sad puppy.

“Cád é? (What is?)” Lila asked, glancing up at the darker haired twin amused that he had obviously not meant for her to know what he had said. Murphy's eyes widened in shock and Connor barked out a laugh next to her at his brother's luck.

Not every Irish person could speak Irish, in fact, it was rare these days. The language was dying off with only a few regions still speaking it. Their Ma had insisted they learn it along with the other various languages they had learnt and they really hadn't expected Lila to be able to speak it. Murphy lowered his head as his cheeks flushed, it only made her more amused, she always got a kick out of teasing the boys and embarrassing them.

“Didn't know ye could speak Irish lass. What other languages can ye speak?” Connor asked with a smile from her left. He was genuinely curious but Murphy knew he was also asking so they don't slip up again, that would be embarrassing. Murphy felt a surge of panic when he remembered the night they were all drunk and he had told her he loved her in French before passing out and Connor told her in Italian. He had presumed she either forgot or hadn’t understood since she never mentioned it to them or acted weird about it. She glanced at Connor with a grin.

“Just Irish, my da taught me when I was younger, before he died. He was really proud of our heritage and wanted to make sure I learnt it.” She said with a wistful smile as she remembered her father fondly. Connor nodded and gave her a warm smile, and Murphy felt himself relax. Well at least that saved him some embarrassment.

“What about you two? You both spoke to me in different languages that night we all got wasted, after my grandads funeral.” She asked curiously, the topic of what Murphy told Connor thankfully forgotten, because he didn't want to drag everything back up, she had asked them specifically not to. Lila looked at Murphy like she was waiting for him to answer the question and he felt grateful he was being included, he still felt like he had no right to be there after what he did. Lila had always done this, asking questions back and forth between the pair like she didn't want either of them to feel left out of the conversation, the boys were never sure if she did it unintentionally or on purpose but they were grateful all the same. She didn't play favourites and it helped them with their new feelings for her and the issue of jealousy that had briefly happened in the earlier days of knowing her.

“Quite a few, French, Italian, Spanish, German, Russian, Latin and o’ course Irish. Our Ma insisted on it m’girl.” He smiled proudly, he had always loved how their Ma had pushed them with their education. The twins might seem like just rowdy Irish boys that liked a drink and worked at a meat packing plant, but they were very intelligent. It didn't hurt any that the lasses seemed to love it when he spoke to them in French in bed, it scored him some extra points. His eyes widened a little when he had slipped up and called her his girl and he was waiting for the girl to yell at him or say some other words that hurt his heart, but they never came.

“Holy shit, how do you even remember all of them, that's insane.” She scoffed a laugh. Murphy was confused, had she not heard him? Or was it okay now? He felt like he didn't know whether he was coming or going but he didn't mention it. If she hadn't heard him it would make things incredibly fucking awkward if he brought it up.

“We learnt in school when we were younger, it was easier back then. Besides, the teachers in Ireland can be scary bastards, gives ye fuckin’ incentive te learn better.” Connor laughed, shaking his head a little as he looked over at Murphy, remembering their school days fondly. Murphy gave him a smile letting him know he was thinking the same.

“So do you talk to each other all the time in different languages when you want to be all sneaky?” She asked with a quirked brow and a smirk, glancing back and forth. Murphy's ears turned pink again and he looked at the floor with a shy smile as Connor chuckled.

“I suppose we do lass.” He replied vaguely as he lit up a smoke and handed it to his brother before lighting one for himself.

“Why though? Why don't you use your twin telepathy thing that you do?” She asked curiously. The boys stopped dead in their tracks in sync with each other. Connors smoke almost fell from his lips as his jaw practically dropped and Murphy tilted his head as he quirked a brow, looking somewhat amused.

“How the fuck did ye know about that?” Murphy asked incredulously. They'd never really spoke about any of their twin things, they kept it to themselves. It was between them after all. Rocco knew some of it just from being their best friend and being around them so much.

She turned to look at them and snorted at their shocked faces.

“Because I've seen it. You know things from just a look at each other, no words needed. You're always touching each other and it's like...you can just...feel each other out ...and not to mention the cuddling.” Her eyes danced with mischief at her last words and Murphy spluttered on the smoke he had inhaled. The boys hadn't realised how obvious it was to her how their twin bond worked, no one else ever figured it out. She always seemed to know them perfectly well and it was slightly unsettling.

“We do not fuckin’ cuddle!” Connor objected, so fucking offended that it made Lila burst out laughing. Apparently, Murphy's voice wasn't the only one that raised an octave or two.

“Yes you do! I’ve seen you. Hell, just this morning you were spooning Murphy. I woke him up remember, saw it with my own eyes.” She smirked amused, crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a look that said tell me I’m wrong. Connors' mouth moved but no words came out as he looked from Murphy to Lila. Murphy raised his brows at him looking amused as well. He didn't care if people knew they cuddled and he already knew Lila had seen them. It didn't bother him none, they were twins. They'd shared a fucking womb for nine months, closeness was second nature to them.

“S’wrong Conn? Afraid yer fragile masculinity can't handle it?” He asked teasingly with his ridiculously smug smirk. Lila snorted and bit her lip to stop her laughter as Connor glared at her playfully.

“Don't worry Connor, I think its...cute.” She grinned, looking all innocent. Murphy barked out a laugh as Connor pulled a face at her, like the vein in his head was going to explode.

“Ah fuck off, the both o’ ye!” He grumbled as he started walking again. Lila locked eyes with Murphy as they both burst out laughing again.

“Aye, come on love, before he sulks.” Murphy grinned as he started walking with her. They caught up to Connor and Lila reached out, poking his side. He yelped a little causing Murphy to laugh loudly when people looked on at them. Connor narrowed his eyes at her for making him make such a womanly noise in public and she just flashed him a grin. He shook his head and smiled at her. It was like most of the tension had already left, teasing each other like normal. Lila wanted things to return back to normal and now she had hope. Things were feeling less weird and she still enjoyed spending time with them. They made a mistake, and now it was time to move on.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28

[thokage-archive]

Honestly...

I just rewatched the entirety of the hero killer arc and I’m so fucking sad abt how slept on todoiideku is, even platonically. I don’t think enough people appreciate their bond or what they went through together. 

Both Todoroki and Midoriya voiced evident concern with Iida’s behavior following the sports festival.They could sense something was wrong with their friend!!! They both wanted to help him but didn’t know how!!! They both feel guilty for not saying something to Iida sooner! They feel terrible for not knowing how to help their friend who was so clearly isolating himself & lying to them about his wellbeing!!! 

You gotta be pretty fucking close to with someone to tell when they’re lying about that sort of thing!! (Especially when they are putting a significant effort into appearing fine, which Iida most definitely was!) They could notice the subtle nuanced differences in his emotions & demeanor!! Noticed it despite the fact Iida is not an overtly emotional person as it is, and Todoroki, someone who also struggles with social & emotional cues due to past trauma & his lack of social exposure as a child, noticed it as well. Hell, he even relates, he says

“You’ve got a lot going on behind the scenes in your family, too, huh?” 

(very clear poke at the pressure Iida must feel at carrying on his hero-family’s name and legacy)

And then continues in one of his only monologues of the series thus far (his first being with Midoriya in the sports festival arc just episodes prior)

“Iida, I’ve been worried about you since your older brother was attacked, because I know well the face of someone who would act on pent-up resentment. I also know just how narrow the field of vision can get for someone like that.”

Todoroki is referring to not only endeavor’s age-old resentment towards all might and how he allowed that to consume his life, even leading to Todoroki’s planned conception, but also to himself!!! 

He’s referring to his own resentment for endeavor! He’s referring to how he limited himself for so long by focusing all his efforts on rejecting endeavor by refusing to use his left side in combat!!! And yet here he is saving his friend’s life by using both his left and right side to fight a villain!! Using his power, his quirk to the best of his ability as a hero. He let go of that anger, that resentment and moved on with his life to better himself! He doesn’t owe endeavor shit & he knows it! But he knows that objectively endeavor is the best hero aside from all might, hence why he is number 2, and decides to take advantage of his personal relationship with endeavor by interning for him so he can become the best hero he can be. 

Again, he says,

“That day, I told her everything about what had happened and about who I am now… She said that for me to move forward without anything holding me back would make her happy and be her salvation (referring to visiting his mom in the hospital) The old me would definitely not have been able to choose my old man’s agency for the internship. It’s not that I’ve forgiven him, and I have no intention of doing so. It was just so I could experience the fact that he is the number two hero with my own eyes and body and accept that… Everything was so simple! But even though it was simple, I didn’t see it… Just a few words, those few words…..”  (referencing Midoriya’s “it’s your power, isn’t it?”) 

By hearing those few words from Midoriya, Todoroki realized the error of his ways. It wasn’t that his left side was his old man’s, his left side was his, it was his own quirk, regardless of where it came from, so long as he used it how he wanted to it would always be his and his alone. The only thing of his old man’s that he seemed to have inherited was his blind-resentment. He resented his father (rightfully so btw) so wholeheartedly that it consumed him and his desires to be a hero. All he focused on for so long was becoming everything endeavor wanted him to be…. but without him, his help, or “his” quirk, just to spite him. 

It wasn’t until those words that he realized he was becoming exactly who he feared most by allowing his resentment to consume his every waking action. That the best thing he could do to reject endeavor was to rise to the top giving it his all, becoming the hero he wanted to be by listening to the encouragement of his classmates & mother. (this is shown through the reiteration of his mother’s line “But you want to be a hero don’t you? It’s okay for you to be one. As long as you have a future you feel strongly about”) 

He knows he can be a hero of his own, he wants to be a hero, despite the fact it’s also what his father wants. It’s okay for him to want the same thing endeavor wants so long as he wants it for the right reasons, unlike endeavor. He can relate to Iida because he feels familial pressure to become a great hero. He also knows what its like to let resentment consume all of your thoughts and actions so much so you lose yourself in it, becoming exactly what you were so focused on not becoming. Becoming what you resent most.

For Iida, this is becoming a fake hero, someone unworthy of his brother’s name or of the title “hero” at all. For Todoroki, it’s becoming his father. 

Iida mentions after the hero killer incident that what Stain said about him was right, that he wasn’t a real hero because a real hero wouldn’t have been focused on revenge, rather saving people. (As Midoriya & Todoroki, people he looks up to and admires as heroes and friends, were focused on saving him and the hero Native). 

Iida sees the error of his ways, and Todoroki’s words

“If you want us to stop, then stand up! The only words I can say to you are: Look properly at what you want to be!” 

are eerily similar to Midoriya’s words towards Todoroki at the sports festival. 

That line to Iida is the same as Midoriya’s is to Todoroki. Just as Midoriya’s words move Todoroki to action, considering we see him use his left side moments later during the sports festival, we see Iida spring into action moments later to defend his friends and save Todoroki from the blade of Stain. (He also takes 2 fucking knives for him, knives that will give him permanent nerve damage in his left-hand mind you). Todoroki knows what it’s like to lose sight of your goals and to have your thoughts spiral out of control. He also knows the effects words can have on someone in a time of crisis, and despite not generally being good with words, Todoroki makes a significant effort to get through to Iida as Midoriya did for him.

And lets not even get started on Midoriya and Iida’s bond. Iida is Midoriya’s FIRST friend at U.A. even before Uraraka. 

(notice this panel of Ochako walking up to Midoriya & Iida and introducing herself to them as they walk home together) 

At the point of the hero killer arc, they have already been through a lot together and view one another as very close friends. They walk home together, eat lunch together, and hang out with Ochako regularly. Midoriya voices his concern for Iida outright, with Ochako by his side, and says to him before everything went down with stain 

“If you ever feel hopeless, make sure you let us know”

He could just sense Iida’s mood. He at first didn’t want to say anything to Iida, for fear of overstepping (probably intermixed with some self-doubt) as he mentions that he didn’t feel he could say anything to Tenya about it because he had not said anything to Midoriya first. But instead of allowing Iida to suffer alone, he puts aside his own worries and self-doubt & puts his friend’s needs and happiness first. He simply lets Iida know with those few words, we are there for you, so if you ever feel like you can’t handle what you’re going through alone, or like it’s all too much to bear, let us know and we will be there. We are friends and friends take care of each other through everything. 

Iida, unfortunately, continues to bottle up his emotions after the gesture, not wanting to worry or bother his friends. But we see the worry evident in Midoriya & Todoroki’s faces after this interaction and at Iida’s tight-lipped response to Midoriya’s show of support. 

todoroki looking after iida as they part ways for the first day of internships (just look at this sweet angel, I CANNOT y’all)

(^ you like tears, no?)

AND THEN, in the middle of a fucking attack on Hosu city Midoriya thinks not of himself, but firstly of his mentor, gran torino, who he just witnessed hop out of a fucking train after a giant villain that bears resemblance to Nomu (the villain that almost bested his other mentor) and of Iida, who is doing his internship there. He should be scared shitless, considering he knows the power of the Nomus and just watch one rip off the side of a train, but instead, he jumps out of the train and runs to save Gran Torino and try to find out if Iida is okay. 

Upon hearing Tenya’s name being yelled by Manual he detours away from finding gran torino, coming face first with even more danger, in his efforts to locate Iida. He notices Iida is not with Manual which causes him even more concern for Iida knowing that it is very out of character for someone as responsible and diligent as Iida to disappear in such a situation. Thinking on his feet, he immediately puts the info together and realizes that the only thing that could have motivated Iida to flee the side of his mentor would be the opportunity to find Stain. And in that moment of realization, we see the fear Midoriya has for his friend in his eyes

(I mean we have honestly only seen Midoriya look this terrified a handful of other times, both in the anime & manga)

He sprints off after this, with no clear direction, only knowing he must do everything in his power to ensure the safety of his friend. He goes looking for Iida, using all his knowledge about the Hero Killer to find him. And he does all this knowing full and well just how dangerous Stain is. He knows how many pro heroes he has killed, he knows that he is no match for Stain, yet all he can focus on is saving Iida, making sure Iida is okay, getting to Iida in time. 

When Midoriya does eventually get to Iida, he’s taken aback by Iida’s pleas for him to not get involved. He’s shocked that Iida could think the situation has nothing to do with him, after all, Iida is his friend, and if it involves Iida and his well-being, it involves him by default. He even says in response 

“If you say that, then heroes can’t do anything! There are a lot of things I’d like to say, but I’ll say them later. It’s like what All Might said: Meddling when you don’t need to is the essence of being a hero”

Which not only reflects on Midoriya being a natural born hero, but also on him being a great friend. He didn’t want to bother Iida, he wanted to give him his space, but now he has seen what allowing Iida to shrug off his offers of help has led to, so in this moment he makes his intentions to involve himself more in Iida’s well-being mentally, emotionally and, at the moment, physically, very clear. He will no longer allow Iida to handle what he is going through alone, a good hero, and more importantly, a good friend, wouldn’t allow that. They would keep pushing and fighting to be let in when they see their friend isolating themselves. 

AND THEN

THERE IS THIS MOMENT

WHEN MIDORIYA THINKS HE IS ABOUT TO WITNESS ONE OF THE CLOSEST AND BEST FRIENDS HE HAS EVER HAD IN HIS LIFE BE MURDERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AND HE IS PLEADING WITH STAIN TO STOP. (HONESTLY JUST FUCKING KILL ME, IM A WRECK AND SO FUCKING EMO OVER THIS, THE TEARS ARE REAL BITCH)

Thankfully, Todoroki, being the only person to take Midoriya’s text as a sign of distress, at least seriously enough to move to action, appears to save the both of them, using his left side first to stop Stain from killing Iida. 

Once everything is said and done we see the three of them in the hospital and one of the first things Todoroki says to Iida is

“You’re amazing to have been able to face him…”

he understands and instead of ridiculing Iida or being angry with him (surely knowing he must feel enough guilt and shame for his actions as it is) he let’s him know how brave it was of him to confront Stain like that, to stare into the eyes of the man who almost killed his brother, and challenge him. hi yes don’t mind me in this fucking puddle of tears

AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT IM NOT DONE LMAO

Because next, we see a kind of amazing response from Todoroki after the three of them are chewed out by the chief of police for technically breaking the law. Now… all of us upon seeing this scene we were like “damn right! you tell em shouto” 

…. but have you ever stopped to consider how odd it is that Shouto of all people was the one to react in such an aggressive and outspoken manner? Shouto who up until this point has shown almost no emotions. Shouto, who is always regarded as the quiet stoic character. Shouto, who thinks rationally & never lets his emotions get the best of him. Shouto…. who was raised in violence and focuses every fiber of his being on not being aggressive like his father. Yeah… he’s the one who gets angry and has something to say. 

Like just take a fucking look at his face. He has never shown this much emotion in the anime or manga ever…. not in front of other people at least and certainly not in such a deliberate way. And yet here he is, losing his cool and about to throw fucking hands with the chief of police to protect his friends from punishment. He doesn’t even wait to hear him out all the way before he starts crossing the room to quite literally fight the man. And then after he is told they will be let off of punishment so long as the incident is not made public he’s still pissed at the outcome, knowing his friends deserve better. 

So, not only is their bond as extremely close friends that depend on one another physically and emotionally solidified during this arc, but Iida gets an insane amount of character development as well. 

He may be the class president and resident perfectionist of 1-a, but even he has flaws and gets angry and doubts himself just as anyone else does. He just loves his brother so fucking much and his world is completely falling apart because his brother, the very person who inspired him to become a hero, who he has admitted to modeling his career at yuuei after, whose footsteps he wishes to follow, was just injured so severely he can no longer continue his career as a pro-hero. And he just… hides it all. Acts as if nothing happened, like the whole foundation of his world isn’t crumbling beneath him. Tells his classmates it’s no big deal and apologizes for worrying them.

And it’s all just so sudden…. one moment he’s worrying his head off about tying for 3rd at the sports festival and the next his brother, his hero, is permanently paralyzed & forced to retire at the age of 30.

Before he knows it, Iida, who never breaks the rules, is running through the halls of a hospital to his brother. He is so fraught with worry and sadness for his brother that he ends up crying at his brother’s hospital bedside while he asks Iida to carry his name, something Iida probably never imagined would happen in all his life. 

That’s so much pressure to bare at such a young age. Iida is strong, but to have the weight of the name of your hero placed on you as a teenager, to feel as though you have to live up to that name and the expectations attached to it when you’re still figuring everything about yourself out, when you’re still trying to figure out your place in this world, as a hero, as a student, as a friend? It’s just so much to deal with and Iida is so fucking brave for putting on a strong front and trying to keep all that from his friends. Yeah it was stupid of him & he ended up acting irrationally as a result of it, but that takes so much fucking strength, and he’s so young and deserves so much. 

AND THEN AFTER ALL THE SHIT THAT GOES DOWN WITH STAIN, he fucking learns from it. Instead of allowing the crippling fear and anger he felt from before back in, he finds strength, inspiration, and resolve in the actions of his friends. He makes a vow to get better with Midoriya… he makes the decision to forgo nerve transplant surgery & live with permanent nerve damage in his left hand to serve as a reminder of that promise & of his mistakes that night. All after an extremely traumatic experience with the very person who put his brother out of commission. With the person he watched his best friends bleed at the hands of. For all he knows they could have been killed in front of his eyes (and, according to him, it would have been his fault. As it is, he blames himself for their current injuries). But instead of isolating himself further he opens up to them, trusts them, apologizes profusely and is determined to right his wrongs and simply do better in the future.

Which, by the way, it’s not easy for an autistic person to open up to anyone about something so intensely personal… about all his self-loathing, brought on by the words of Stain, his fears, and his doubts, no matter how close he is to them or what they all just went through. Social interactions are hard enough for Iida, he is constantly missing social & emotional cues and is made fun of for this. They even show it in this episode that Iida has had trouble with it since he was a small kid. They show Tensei calling him a robot & asking him why he isn’t picking up on the message he’s trying to send him, he asks Iida why he’s taking everything so literally… like bitch… hello. 

He even has the courage to admit that Stain was right, the person who he despises most in the world, for the time being, was right about him. Stain said, 

“Being taken in by the hatred before you and trying to fulfill your own desires… That is the furthest thing from what a hero should be”

Which is true, and we all know it. It’s also what makes Stain such an interesting and infuriating villain. Because his reasoning is solid, but his methods are all wrong. Iida recognizes this and instead takes the words to heart promising not to “forget himself in anger” ever again.

Idk about y’all but idk many 15-year-olds with that kind of resolve, morals, and humility. He just has such a big heart and works so fucking hard to prove himself. I love him too much and I’m so happy he has such great fucking friends like Todoroki and Midoriya to support him. 

I’m sure I could write like 12 more pages about Iida, Todoroki, and Midoriya & the bonds they share, especially if I got into the manga but imma just leave it at this for now because this is really the event that solidifies them as important people in each other’s lives. They are all people that really had no one in life before they met each other. None of them had any notable friends before they found one another, and yet here they are discovering the bonds of friendship together and growing into amazing heroes alongside one another. They all shared an extremely traumatic and life-changing experience yet found their own resolve in one another and pushed each other to do better and be better. 

[pedroscurls]

Title: You, Doll, Are Special

@kirahrps​ requested: Hi hi! I see that your requests are open and I'd like to make one :) I have mild cerebral palsy. I can walk but not well. I wonder if you could write a story where Negan genuinely and truly falls for someone with cp? She has more needs than anybody else but she's also the biggest spitfire and she likes it roooooooouuuuuuggggghhhh (but without devices. That's too close to torture to me and I can't). Is this possible? I just feel like so many people desexualize us and would love to see a story that brings the opposite. 

Character(s): Negan and Reader (who has mild cerebral palsy) Summary: You and Negan finally give in to one another. Word Count: 3,638 Warning: SMUT! ;-) Author’s Note: Thank you, @kirahrps for this request! It definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I loved every second of it! I sure hope that I did this story justice for you! ALSO, the line “I’ll be your balance” is all credited to you, @kirahrps! Such a good line hehe! Enjoy! :-) 

(GIF Source: @heartfulloffandoms) 

Every day was a struggle for you. Dealing with mild cerebral palsy during the end of the world didn’t give you much motivation to do anything. Luckily, though, Negan was aware of your condition and asked you to be his wife once he brought you in to the Sanctuary.

At first, you were hesitant. You didn’t know what he truly meant by becoming his ‘wife.’ Though, when he introduced you to the harem of women he had, you knew exactly what his intentions were. He made sure that you had the best care the world could offer. He provided you the right medication and even made Dr. Carson give you massage therapy to help alleviate stiffness and pain.

However, despite your condition, it never stopped you from standing your ground. When Negan first introduced you to his other wives, you noticed the glares and judgment in their eyes. You caught Negan by surprise when you scoffed and stuck a middle finger at each and every one of them.

“Well, fuck, doll… You may have a difficult time walking and look like you’re about ready to break, but you sure act like you’ve got some beach-sized lady nuts,” he said.

That moment had been five months ago. You have been in the Sanctuary for five months now and Negan still had not brought you to his room for a night filled with fun. You begin to wonder if it was because of your cerebral palsy that made him not want you.

At that thought, you sigh. Maybe Negan pitied you and simply offered to become his wife for that purpose only.

It couldn’t be. You would always catch him staring at you with a longing in his eyes that only you were able to notice. When he was in the lounge, drinking a beer, his eyes would constantly deviate in your direction.

Today was no different. Negan always made sure that your wardrobe was comfortable for you. He would sneak a few tight dresses here and there, but you always settled with a t-shirt dress that reached your upper thigh.

Negan always mentioned how much he loved your legs, despite the difficulty of walking.

After applying a light amount of makeup and curling your hair, you leave your room to go to Dr. Carson’s office. You had an appointment for another session of massage therapy to help you with the pain.

As you walk slowly to Dr. Carson’s office, you notice the odd looks that you were receiving on the way. You narrow your eyes and grasp the wall for a moment, taking a break. You look around and once more, flick off the men that were staring.

“You got a problem?” you ask.

“N – No… I just – Do you need help?” he replies.

“No. I can do this myself. If I needed help, I’d ask.” you continue walking, paying no attention to the looks that you were constantly receiving.

Once you finally reach Dr. Carson’s office, you notice Negan sitting next to the man wearing the white coat.

“Negan?”

His eyes immediately trail over your frame. You blush, watching as his eyes linger at your exposed legs before he stands up to give you a gentle kiss on the forehead.

The one thing you admired about Negan was that he looked past your flaws. In fact, he embraced them wholeheartedly. Sure, there were a few teasing jokes, but he would always end it with a sweet phrase.

You never thought a person like Negan was capable of being sweet to a woman that didn’t involve sex.

“Dr. Carson’s been showing me some techniques for your massage therapy. I know his walk from your room is a long one, so I figure if I knew how to massage, I can help you and you wouldn’t have to put a strain on your body,” he says.

You smile. He was so thoughtful when he wanted to be.

“Oh, Negan… I’m fully capable of coming down here on my own.”

“I know you are, doll, but does it hurt if I want to learn?”

You narrow your eyes. “I guess not, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop coming down here to see Dr. Carson.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because he’s the actual doctor, Negan.”

He feigns a hurt expression, resting a hand over his chest. “You wound me, dear wife.”

“You’ll get over it. Go talk to Amber or Sherry. I’m sure they’ll take your mind off it,” you quip back.

“Sounds like you’re jealous.”

“I’m not.”

Negan slowly motions for Dr. Carson to leave the room. Once the door shuts, Negan sets Lucille down against the examination bed and pulls you gently into a tight hug.

“You are jealous,” he whispers.

Despite how badly you wanted to push him away, you opt to lean against him instead. You inhale his intoxicating scent and shut your eyes. Your body was in slight pain and standing up was beginning to take a toll on your body, so you pull back to sit down onto the bed.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine, Negan. You know how much I hate that question.”

“Well, I can’t help but worry sometimes, doll.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Negan. If anyone should be worried, it should be me. You’re the one that has to go past these gates and who knows what kind of threats lie out there aside from the dead.”

“You know I’ll always come home to you,” he says softly, kissing lightly along your neck.

“Yeah and five other women,” you respond, pushing him away gently.

“Not this conversation again? Really?”

“What the hell do you want me to say? I have been your wife for the past five months, going on six, and you still haven’t had sex with me. What is it, Negan? I’m too fragile for you? Is the thought of me having mild cerebral palsy a damn turn off that you can’t even touch me? What the fuck is it, Negan?”

Negan takes a step back. He wasn’t expecting you to blow up at him. “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re fuckin’ sexy, okay?”

“Then what’s stopping you from fucking me?”

“Your mouth, doll… I’d suggest you watch it,” he threatens.

“Or what? Going to punish me? Oh wait, you’re too afraid to. Just send Dr. Carson in here. I really just want this session to be done with so I can go back up to my room, like fuckin’ usual, and read my damn books,” you mumble angrily.

“I just don’t want to hurt you, doll,” he says softly.

His tone of voice catches you by surprise, and you look up at him.

“You won’t hurt me. This condition of mine? Yeah, it does not fuckin’ define me, Negan. I may not be able to walk well, but that doesn’t mean I am fully incapable of daily activities. I’m not going to break, and you certainly won’t break me,” you reassure him.

“I don’t want to fuckin’ find out, either. Right now, our arrangement is fine with me. I’m okay with kissing you. Hell, do you fuckin’ see me kissing my other wives? Let me answer that for you. Fuck no, I don’t.”

You clear your throat. You didn’t know he didn’t kiss his other wives. “Why don’t you kiss them?”

“Why the fuck do I need to explain myself to you?”

You roll your eyes, “Fine. Whatever. Just leave. I’m sure you have other important shit to do than deal with me.”

“God, you are so fuckin’ stubborn,” he says.

“Says the one who refuses to answer my question.”

“I don’t kiss them because they aren’t you, okay? Fuck.”

You furrow a brow and look up at him. You didn’t know Negan was capable of actually developing feelings for a woman, no less you. You were surprised and you slowly reach over to take Negan’s hand in your own.

Negan sighs, allowing you to take his hand before he looks down to see your lips gently press against the back of his hand.

“Why are you hiding so much of what you’re feeling, Negan?”

“Because I don’t want to get too close to you. If something happens to you and I’m not there to stop it, fuck… I don’t want to lose you like I lost Lucille, doll.”

You should have known that your relationship with Negan was different from the rest of his wives. He opened up to you about his old life and that included Lucille. Since then, your bond with Negan was nowhere near his relationships with his other wives.

“How can you lose me if you keep me on house arrest all the damn time?” you tease.

Slowly, Negan breaks out into a small smile. “You’re a fuckin’ smartass, you know that?”

“Oh, I know. It keeps you on your toes.”

“That’s for fuckin’ sure. Look. How about I let Dr. Carson work and then tonight… It’s just going to be you and me.”

“Really?” you grin excitedly.

“Only if you’re sure, doll.”

“I’m fuckin’ sure.”

Negan smirks, “You want this dick, don’t you?”

You squeeze your legs absently, thankful that you were lying down on the bed. “You’re lucky that I’m in slight pain right now.”

“Yeah? Or what?”

“Or I would have made you fuck me right here.”

“With Dr. Carson waiting outside?” Negan asks.

“I’d make you fuck me with or without an audience, just as long as it happens,” you wink.

“I knew I’d fuckin’ like you the minute I laid my eyes on you.”

“Even if I walk with difficulty?”

“Like you said, doll, this condition doesn’t define you. Besides, condition or no condition, I’d still fuck you. You’re hot.”

You laugh quietly, shaking your head slightly. “Yeah, yeah. Now get outta here and do some work, will ya?”

“I’ll be home in time for dinner, my dear,” he smiles, leaning down to peck your lips lightly.

“I’ll make sure I have dinner waiting on the table for you, honey.”

Negan chuckles, shaking his head before he picks Lucille up from the ground. He walks to the door and opens it, allowing Dr. Carson to step inside.

“Do your thing, doc. Just make sure your hands don’t touch what’s mine,” he threatens playfully.

“I – I won’t, sir.”

“Negan, stop harassing the man. Let him do his job.” you say, reaching over to gently pat Dr. Carson’s hand reassuringly.

Negan grins wickedly, “Tomorrow, same time, Carson?”

“Of course, Negan.”

Once Negan leaves, you turn to Dr. Carson who breathes a sigh of relief.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, you know…”

“Easy for you to say. You’re his wife,” he replies.

“True, but just as long as I’m here, he won’t hurt you. You have my word,” you smile.

Dr. Carson shares the smile, gently massaging at your tense muscles. For a moment, you wince at the sudden pressure before he urges you to relax and to focus on your breathing.

Later that night, you lie down on Negan’s bed wearing a black, lacy diaphanous nightgown with nothing underneath. You wanted to make sure that Negan knew exactly what he was missing for the past five months.

He walks inside, setting Lucille down carefully before his eyes finally settle onto you. You bite your lower lip in anticipation, urging your body to relax.

“Well, fuck me, doll.”

“I’ve been trying to for the past five months,” you respond quickly.

Negan smirks, removing his leather glove and his leather jacket. He walks to the foot of the bed and kicks off his shoes, slowly crawling above you. His hands trace the fabric of the nightgown, lifting it slightly upwards to reveal the lack of panties.

“And you shaved for me? Shit,” he smirks.

“Oh, no. I’m always like this. I usually don’t wear panties or bras because it becomes a hassle to remove and put on. Less clothes the better,” you wink.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise…” Negan says, leaning down to kiss along your exposed neck down to your collarbone.

You shake your head, gently cupping his cheeks and lifting him so that you two were at eye level. “I want it rough, Negan. Rough…”

“But –”

“Nope. I can handle it. And if I can’t, we’ll have a safe word.”

“A safe word?” he asks.

“Yes. How about… Watermelon?”

“Why watermelon?”

“It’s one of my favorite fruits and it’s not something you would say during sex.”

Negan smirks, “I beg to differ, but okay.”

“Great. Now get down here and fuckin’ kiss me already.”

Negan chuckles, pressing his lips against your own as he settles himself between your legs, gently pushing them apart. You wince slightly at the pain but the pleasure overtakes it, drowning it out with the need for him to be inside of you.

You gasp against Negan’s lips once you feel his fingertips trace your fold. By gasping, you allow Negan to slide his tongue past your lips, beginning an endless tango with your own. He groans against you, slowly sliding two fingers into your depths and grunting at the feel of your slickness already coating his digits.

Negan pulls back, looking down at you to see that your eyes had fallen shut and your mouth remains slightly agape as a quiet moan escapes your lips. He uses his free hand to remove your nightgown, gently lifting it above your head as he massages every inch of your body slowly.

You feel the pain slowly disappear with the aid of his massage and his talented fingers. He kisses down your abdomen, occasionally nipping at the skin before his face hovers near your core.

“Mm, you are soaking wet for me, aren’t you, doll?”

“Thank you for the observation, Captain Obvious,” you respond.

Negan narrows his eyes. Instead of responding, he leans forwards and latches his lips to your clit in a rough manner. He begins sucking roughly, flicking his tongue repeatedly before the movements of his fingers move rapidly within your depths.

You feel your body finally relax against the mattress at the pleasure that was running through your body. His scruff feels amazing between your thighs, and his mouth and fingers were just as pleasurable. Negan knew exactly how to pleasure a woman.

Suddenly, you grasp the bedsheets tightly and moan his name out loud as your walls tighten around his fingers. Negan laps at your juices, smirking against your core before he pulls back.

You notice your arousal glistening along his chin before he wipes it away with the back of his hand. Your eyes drop to his pants, noticing the large bulge before you reach down to gently palm his growing erection. Feeling his girth against your hand immediately makes you wet again and when you try to close your legs, Negan simply shakes his head.

“Nope. I am not fuckin’ done with you yet, doll.”

Negan climbs off the bed and pushes his pants down. When you see his erection bob against his boxers to stand upright, you gasp. Maybe asking for him to be rough wasn’t necessarily a good thing because now you were aware of how well-endowed he was.

“How do you usually do this, doll?” Negan asks, settling himself back onto the bed once he was naked. Your eyes rake over his form, reaching up to run your fingers through the curls of his chest hair and down to the planes of his abdomen.

“This is fine, Negan. I’m fine.”

He leans down and pecks your lips. “I want to look into your eyes when I finally put my dick in you.”

You nod, staring directly into his eyes like he asked. He runs the tip of his member along your slickening length, gathering up your juices to lubricate his manhood. Slowly, he pushes against your tight entrance, staring into your eyes.

“I better not see a flutter of those fuckin’ eyelids either, doll.”

“O – Okay… Just fuck me, Negan.”

You gasp when you feel his tip enter you before he pulls back, continuing his teasing. You look down to see that he was holding the base of his member, running the head of his dick against you as he applies a bit of pressure against your clit.

“Do I get a fuckin’ please with that? I thought you had manners.”

“Damnit, Negan! Please!” you beg.

He grins, “Now that’s more like it.”

Slowly, Negan pushes into you. He wanted you to adjust to his girth before he would begin his rough assault on you. You instantly move a hand to his shoulder, digging your fingernails into his skin as you moan his name quietly.

“Negan…” you moan.

“You are fuckin’ tight, my god!”

Suddenly, Negan begins slamming into you repeatedly. The sound of his skin slapping against your own causes you to shut your eyes and focus on the way his body moves expertly with your own. His hands grasp your hips, but he reminds himself that while you did want it rough, he wasn’t going to get too rough to the point that he would hurt you.

“Negan… Oh god…” you toss your head back and hear him grunt at the slight sting of pain your fingernails were causing. If Negan could mark you, then you could mark him; he didn’t seem to mind either.

Negan continues slamming into you, watching as his large member appears and reappears within your depths. Your juices slicken his member, and he leans down to gently place light kisses along your neck.

Slowly, he pulls out and lies onto his back. Negan gently places you to straddle him, bringing your hands to rest on the bed just near his head. He lifts your hips slightly, using his free hand to hold his member upright to align at your entrance.

Immediately, you shake your head. “Negan… I’ve never done this before… I don’t know if –”

“I want you to fuckin’ ride me. I know you’re capable, doll.”

“I’ve never done it and I don’t think I have the balance for it, and –”

“No more fuckin’ excuses. As long as you have me, I’ll be your balance, baby. When you’re with me, nothing will ever happen to you. That’s a fuckin’ promise.”

You nod slowly. You didn’t know how lucky you were to have found Negan, but in this moment, you were grateful. He didn’t look at you like you were some pitiful human being. Negan treated you like he treated everyone else and that was all you ever wanted. You never wanted to be treated differently simply because of your condition.

“Okay…” you agree.

Negan smiles, slowly lowering your hips as you feel his member slide within your depths once more.

“That’s a good girl,” he coos.

You gasp once you lower yourself down to the hilt. In this position alone, you feel every inch of his girth throbbing within your walls; it feels amazing.

Slowly, Negan holds onto your hips to balance you against him. He brings you down to allow your upper half to rest against him. You rest your cheek against his shoulder, kissing along his neck as his hips begin to slam upwards, hitting your inner walls with each thrust.

You begin to feel your walls slowly contract around his member. You knew that you were getting close and with this newfound position, you were sure that you were going to reach it sooner than you hoped.

Negan must have known what was coming because his hips come off the bed repeatedly, his skin slapping against yours.

“Negan… Oh god, I’m going to c –”

“Come for me, doll… Fuckin’ let go,” he urges.

Suddenly, you collapse down onto him as your body shakes slightly. Your walls tighten around his dick in a vice-like manner which causes him to continue his rapid thrusts. After a few more movements of his hips, he slams upwards and releases into you.

You pant heavily against his chest, placing light kisses along his glistening skin. When Negan pulls out of you, you whimper quietly and slowly roll off of him to lie beside him. He gathers you into his arms and kisses the crown of your head, making sure that you weren’t in any pain.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

You smile, looking up at him. “I’m great.”

“Was it worth the wait?”

“Eh,” you tease.

“Mm, don’t test me, doll. I can get hard pretty fuckin’ quick, and I plan on having a couple more rounds once we get a few hours of rest.”

When you look up at Negan, you notice that he isn’t looking at you like you were fragile. He wasn’t looking at you like you had a condition that separated you from everyone else.

Instead, he was looking at you with such admiration in his beautiful brown orbs. There was something within the depths of his eyes that you couldn’t place, but either way, when Negan was looking at you, you felt special.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothin’.”

“You’re staring at me like you’ve got something to say, doll. So, come on out with it.”

“Just – You don’t look at me like I’m some weird freak.”

“You know what weird freaks are?” he asks.

You shake your head.

“They’re special,” Negan says.

“Okay, and?”

“And you, doll, are fuckin’ special…”

“So, I’m a weird freak?”

“No, god. You like to find the fuckin’ negativity in everything, don’t you?”

You shrug, “Kinda what I’m used to.”

Negan sighs.

“Well, doll, you’re special. To me. Cerebral palsy won’t ever stop me from having you and if anything is true, I’m a man who gets what I fuckin’ want.”

You smile, leaning up gently to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you, Negan.”

He grins.

“I know a beautiful woman when I see one, doll.”

[impyeseul]

( loOK AT THIS CUTE LIL SQUISH IM CRYIGN !! )

hI BABIES !! i hope you’re having/had a good day bc my impatient and hyped ass has been dying to plot with you all since i sent my acct in bc this rp is ? already so cool ?? anyways i’m kat, 19 yo mess™ from canada, the nt specifically aka the geniuses behind the only :30 tz on the planet tyvm. i’m a SUFFERING uni student, i’m bts, sci-fi and alt rock trash, letterkenny s3 has become my life now and when my social life isn’t dormant like it is rn, you can usually find me at the campus bar having a wild time with a couple of my ra’s lol. i have a small plots page set up HERE that you can check out — i kinda gave up on the creative thing i had going with them by the fourth one and still have a few to add ( bc it’s dinner time rn and i’m famished ) as you can see hgjkfs — and feel free to im me for my discord acct !! now, on to my content, quixotic bab seulie who rly.. doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself despite finally getting her life on track overall, but she’s trying:

— earlier, i could’ve sworn i saw PARK CHAEYOUNG (ROSÉ) on campus, but it’s just SONG YESEUL. i heard they were sorted as a GLEAM and they’re only TWENTY years old majoring in FASHION MARKETING here at imperium, which isn’t surprising considering their ability is ADOPTIVE MUSCLE MEMORY. people call her the PEACH because she is supposedly EBULLIENT, but also COMPULSIVE but who knows if that’s true, it’s their ability that matters. ( kat. 19. nt. she/her. none. )

so lil song yeseul was born in changwon to a korean-canadian father and her mother who had both moved from daegu abt two years prior ??

has a younger brother by abt two years and ig you could say they were middle class

so most of her family bg is still up in the air for me but

her parents were always v big on education, wanting the best for their kids and to be cared for in their old age, so seulie and her brother were diligent in their studies as kids

however, she slipped away little by little and became a more lax student, hiding under the guise of working endlessly in her room when she was really just reading the new tw****** book ( yeah, i rly just censored that series lmao )

her grades were still good, she just didn’t get as into it and overwhelmed by it as before

without a doubt lost her shit when she learned that she had powers

i mean she prob learned she had them when she was fourteen and saw a huge fist fight between some kids at school.. before going home and accidentally punching her little brother in the face

“ what.. the fuck ? oh my god oh my gOD HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO THROW A PUNCH LIKE THAT ? HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO DO A ROUND OFF BACK HANDSPRING DOUBLE PIKE ?! ”

is good at sports and dance mostly bc of her power.. but she’s also a walking safety hazard bc she’s clumsy af, so she steers clear of most sports for everyone’s sake

like cute guy or girl in the stands ? she’s taking the field hockey forward down with her when she trips on air and prob fucks them up bc they cushioned her fall

yeah i rly.. made a girl equipped with muscle memory a klutz, rip

anyways her parents weren’t too peeved by this surprisingly ( at least her dad wasn’t lol ) as long as she didn’t nearly break her brother’s nose again jgfksd

ngl it was smooth sailing for the most part, unless you caught her off-guard with your presence or something, then she was a state with her movements 

prob took up a job at some local fast food place like every other teen to save for uni

so fast forward and she graduated !!! she thought she’d do medical science and had no real worries about changing her mind

got into imperium and was set on medicine.. until she finally began attending uni, about a month in and she was fucking clueless

on top of that, she had to adjust to so much concentration on her power that it was all a little surprising and foreign to her

so to sum it up, her first year saw her suffering with academics, and other aspects of her life at imperium, however for the most part, everything was p good and she was content

so after a while, seulie switched into fashion marketing and she loves it

her parents were p disappointed for a while bc of the switch in major and there was an evident strain on their relationship ( between her and her mom, at least ) but by now they’ve come around and she’s so thankful for that tbh ??

anyway she’s kinda a mess, not rly sure of what else to say lol

personality and other stuff ig

pansexual af 

soft af !!

spontaneous, if only i could give you an example rIP

obsessed with the idea of leading a luxurious lifestyle and wants it to be at her own accord

has a bit of a dependency on others, even if she tries to deny it bc she knows she does deep down

a generally cheery person who wants the best for people

C L U M S Y

like she rly isn’t joining any sports bc of it, even if soccer is prob ok for her; won’t take her chances lmao

the type to make up for any harm she inflicted in training by icing your bruise, buying you lunch or cuddling if you wanna do that lol

physical affection is everything to her rly, kisses and the like are welcomed wholeheartedly

won’t admit to this either, but she tends to feel rly insecure bc she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life once she actually dived into uni or how to tell her parents, or how some people tend to walk over her bc of her occasional naiveté, see her as weak for being a more gentle soul, etc

is scarily calm when she’s angry, but that’s bc she doesn’t get angry per se ?? it’s irritation and disappointment at best so like.. beware

thinks the hierarchy is pathetic and jst wants everyone to be treated fairly ?? is prob an advocate for world peace but with the knowledge of it being difficult to achieve easily, so she approaches this whole thing similarly

is the type to cry over a series finale she’s watched twenty times already

horror movies get her evERY TIME; even if she can laugh at the badly done ones, the jump scares without fail fuck her up

super chill though, always smiling, just a rly cute bean

loves cats and dogs, she’ll never pick one over the other

hc: when she has a family and all that and they decide to adopt a puppy, she’ll leave the kids with her partner and snatch a tabby cat bc why not have both ??

the biggest meat hoe™

but loves cocoa more than life itself

tries to dress in a sophisticated manner but also rly loves wearing cute baggy sweatshirts and ball caps

skIRTS

loves all of the cult classic teen movies, has a soft spot for well done romance flicks and kdramas too

also a hopeless romantic and is set on the principle of heart over head, legit will fall in love with/develop a crush on you so easily so watch yourself pLS

has never been in a relationship tho lol

.. wh y am i saying that like she’s a loser when i haven’t either

i rly just played myself, why am i not surprised lfjdkgh

loves indie/electropop, alternative, rap, and r&b music

has a profound admiration for classical as well

not the heaviest drinker or user of sorts but it’s prob for the best bc she’s such a lightweight lmao

can be like four different people when she’s drunk so.. yeah js hahaha

so she’s sometimes that chick™ that has a wild time at a party but surprise !! she’s stone cold sober

has a slight oral fixation ig ? not in a sexual manner though so don’t get any ideas hahaha

.. ok maybe a little but it’s rly innocent on her part 99% of the time. you’ll almost never see her without a straw in her drink for example; she’s also a lollipop and liquorice hoe so yeah

she’ll never bite her nails though, at least not beyond a light nip that’s p subconscious when she’s concentrating on something

.. funny how i typed more about this than her feelings abt her major rIP

but listen when i say that she’s lowkey freaky i fucking meant it lmAO. idek if she realizes it herself but yeah.. she’s not that pure sdhfkg i hate myself for this you doNT UNDERSTAND

so that’s seulie !! if you’d like to plot, just like this or message me, i’ll try to get back to you as soon as i can !

[danisavin]

What did you enjoy about being close to Naudia before they came here?

“Ooh, a lot of things. Their ability to make me laugh -- genuinely laugh -- at a time when I was pulling false smiles just to get by. They put up with all my misadventures, even when things got serious and I got hurt. They worried, of course, but they didn’t stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Then again, no one really could.”

“I was so admirable of their strength, too. Nuadia had it rough, having to live with not only questioning their gender identity but also having to travel around day by day with the man who had broken up with them only to pick up a new lover. They had to juggle so much shit. Honestly, I don’t know how they did it half the time, but watching them blossom into the person they wanted to be -- despite all the bumps along the way -- and seeing their confidence grow was such a remarkable experience.”

“However, none of that was nearly as impactful as having them for family. Nuadia gave me people to care for and people to take care of me when I felt like I had nobody else in the world. I hadn’t been home in years and it’d really taken it’s toll. But Nuadia took me in and gave me something more to live for than just work. What we had was different from what I’ve had with anyone else. We had a commonality in our opinions of gender, we both understood what the other was going through, what it was like to grow up being different from everyone else, and to have that understanding and that respect so wholeheartedly was nothing short of life-changing."   

@nuadxa

[sigurdjarlson]

★ all your WoW characters

Oh!!! Thank you!! I know it was supposed to be one fact for each but...stuff got created on the spot and I was like oh! that! wait no what about- and yeah it got out of hand c:

Diily (night elf hunter): The older sister of Alaluria and Ladeila. She will skin any leftover kills she finds while out and about. It saddens her to think people would take a life and then leave their corpse to rot. She strongly believes in using all of the animal. It’s the respectful thing to do. If she can’t skin it she’ll find a use for it. Give the meat to someone who needs it, fashion something out of the claws, teeth, scales or feathers, feed it to her brat pack, something. Unrelated but when it comes to her sisters she tries to be the responsible one but when running solo she’s a reckless goof. It’s one of the many reasons she’s head over heels in love with Khadgar

Alaluria (night elf demon hunter): Hasn’t seen Ladeila since she left to join Illidan’s cause and the last time she saw Diily was at the battle in the Black Temple.  Perhaps a bit of her affection for Illidan is rooted in empathy she has for him because of her own estrangement from his family. In her mind she was the one betrayed too. Now that she’s been freed she is doing her best to avoid both of her sisters. At this point in time she believes It’s too late for them to make amends. And lmao she totally has feelings for Illidan but the chance of him ever returning those feelings is very slim. 

Ladeila: (night elf mage): The baby of the family. She’s only just recently come of age. She chose to be a mage despite her race’s tragic history with arcane magic. She wants to prove night elves can be trusted to wield arcane magic but after becoming a mage herself she understands how they became as dependent and addicted as they were. She is intent on never ending up like that. Diily worries about her endlessly. In fact the pure white frostsaber cub she brings with her everywhere is from one of Dily’s sabers litters.

Gaillen (worgen death knight): My angsty girl. She’s a bitter bitch trying to be a better bitch. Her and Fae were together before she became a death knight and she hasn’t seen her since. She’s too ashamed. She was Arthas’ right hand woman and she’s killed more than she can count. Much of what drives her and keeps her going is a desire to atone for her actions even though she knows she never really could. She’s a grump and honestly would probably literally bite you in the face if you pissed her off. 

Faelila (worgen druid): Was affectionately called “sunshine” by her former girlfriend and for good reason. (for the record she has no idea Gaillen isn’t dead and mourns her to this day)She’s the happiest worgen you’ll ever meet. She believes the worgen curse is more of a gift than a curse and embraced it wholeheartedly once she had control over it. It’s no different to her then her druid forms. Like any druid she’s deeply in tune with the world around with her. She has an immense amount of admiration for Malfurion that borders on being an innocent crush. What a furry

Jeanettle (gnome warrior): Most likely to build a sex machine. She’s a lover and a fighter. She’s bisexual but has a heavy preference for ladies. Would probably hit on you if she met you. She’s a huge flirt but a sweetheart.She’s not out to break anyone’s heart.She’s just a wanderer, baby. (THEY CALL ME THE WANDERER-) 

Thorhilde (dwarf mage): Honestly just wants to study magic, drink ale, eat and stay in bed but the world keeps needing to be saved. She finds Khadgar extremely irritating but cares about him deep down. She’ll punch ya in yer face if you talk shit. To be fair she finds most people irritating. Let her study in peace please.

Hiti (Pandaren shaman): Cinnamon roll. Most body positive girl you’ll ever meet which is common with Pandaren. She’s appalled by the body shaming she sees in other races and goes full mama bear mode when she sees it. 

Mugartah (orc hunter): She’s an asshole to almost everyone except her pets honestly. Regardless honor is extremely important to her. Leaving the alliance to die still leaves a bad taste in her mouth. There was nothing they could do but..what if there was? Lok’tar ogar. Retreating makes her feel like a coward.

Regynna (blood elf warlock): She shamelessly enjoys dabbling in forbidden and dangerous magic.Just for fun and because she believes to defeat an enemy you need to understand them. She often grows attached to her demons despite their innate nature and will blast someone to pieces if they’re killed during battle.

Erlaina: (night elf rogue): The personification of the dashing rogue trope. Han Solo in female elf form. True to that comparison she is also a sweetheart deep down. The “reluctant” hero, she’s always getting herself intro trouble.However she will empty your pockets if she thinks you’re an asshole. Kind of robin hood esque in that way except she often keeps the money which isn’t very robin hood esque at all ;)

Saalina (draenei priest): Has a ton of affection for Anduin Wrynn (no, not like that). She wishes she could be as forgiving as him though. She harbors a deep resentment of orcs and blood elves for what they did to her people. She tries to let it go but hasn’t figured out how to yet. She lost her family both by orc hands in Outland and when the Exodar crashed due to blood elf tampering. Her fervor and commitment to destroying Gul’dan rivals even Khadgar’s.