#yeah idk what Etho and Mumbo could be called

[oshawottarchive]

I’m angry so you guys get a bunch of incorrect quotes now <3 might draw some of them later

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Etho: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Bdubs: Homicide

Tango: Murder

Skizz: Homie-cide

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Tango: I just want someone to take me out

Skizz: On a date?

Bdubs: With a sniper gun?

Etho: Both if you’re not a coward

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Bdubs: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel

Skizz: An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel

Tango: A realist sees a freight train

Etho: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks

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Grian: You know, Joel gives Etho flowers every day, I wish you’d do that too

Scar: Okay

*later*

Scar: *gives Etho flowers*

Etho: ???

Scar: I don’t know, I’m confused too

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Joel: I love you

Etho: *not paying attention* What was that?

Joel: I said I’m selling you to the ZOO

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Scar and Grian: McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s!

Skizz: We have food at home

Impulse: *pulls into the McDonald’s drive through*

Scar and Grian: YAYYY

Impulse: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

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Skizz: *teaching Grian how to drive* Okay, you’re driving and Impulse and Scar walk into the road. What do you hit?

Grian: Oh, definitely Scar, I could never hurt Impulse

Skizz: The breaks, Grian. You hit the breaks

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Cleo: All in all, a 100% successful trip

Joe: But we lost Jevin

Cleo: Exactly

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Jevin: Will Joe be okay?

Cleo: He won’t be once I find him

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Mumbo: *setting down a card* Ace of spades

Cleo: *pulling out an Uno card* +4

Hypno: *pulling out a Pokémon card* Jolteon, I choose you!

Xisuma: *trembling* What are we playing??

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Tango: *laying in bed* Get out of my room

Zedaph: *standing just inside the doorframe* I’m not in your room

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Pearl: That’s it, you’re all grounded!

Pearl: Mumbo, no adventuring for you! Bdubs, no fighting for you! Scar, no stealing for you!

Pearl: And Joel. . . Is there anything you love?

Joel: Revenge

Pearl: No vengeance for you

Joel: I was gonna say “I’ll get you for this”, but I guess that’s off the table

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Tango and Skizz: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Tango: We need an adult!

Skizz: Tango, WE’RE adults!

Tango: We need an adultier adult, get Impulse!

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Skizz: Dipple-Dop? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds

Impulse: Skizz, I swear to god—

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Scott: *sighs*

Martyn: Are you bored?

Scott: Yeah

Martyn: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Scott: I thought you’d never ask

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Etho: *looking at a map* It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it…

Impulse: Other side, Etho

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Joel: Pros and cons of dating me

Joel: Pros, you’ll be the cute one

Joel: Cons, holy shit where do I begin—

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Scott: Being gay isn’t a choice. It’s a game and I’m winning

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Joel: I think we should have glowstick juice injected into our bones when we’re born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise

Jevin: What’s the surprise?

False: Blood poisoning

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Pearl: I’m going to get myself some soup

Gem: Be careful not to burn yourself, it’s hot

Pearl: Pfft, I won’t burn myself

*30 seconds later*

Pearl: Gem I burned myself

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Expect more… sometime idk

[enbyandyy]

sure yeah I'm gonna ramble about this for a while. idk what really counts as "iconic" but I'm going with when I think of x player this is their first build I think of, also only including hermits I actively watch

bdubs - stargazers (his sleep shop from 7). not entirely sure why but it just is so bdubs in all the right ways. beautiful detail, served a purpose, perfect redstone. incredible. The diorite monolith from 9 was also iconic though

cubfan - oh definitely the pyramid (though total chaos is high up there). the pyramid was so expansive, so cool and contained so many cool mini games. plus the whole pharaoh bit, loved it

doc - idk if it counts as a build but that one glitched out portal from 6 in area 77 blew my mind and I still think about it on a weekly basis even though I somewhat understand how it works

etho - the reverse base from 7, entirely made of interior and beautiful and functional from the inside. complete mess on the outside. incredible work 10/10

false - oooo the futuristic city towers from 7 (just realising how many of these are from season 7 lol) it's just so big and towering, but also so much story within it. also giant circles going to bedrock, can you get more false than that?

gem - s9 elven palace probably, the whole soup group base was iconic

grian - probably the mansion, from how many memes it spawned and it's lasting presence but from my perspective 100% the mycelium resistance second headquarters, the one that's made of all the giant mushrooms. I love that thing so much, think about it so often and deserved far more on camera time than she got

impulse - hmmmm. I-buy probably. I love it so big and imposing and full of cool redstone and the product of so many farms

iskall - señor bumbo cactoni. no explanation needed.

joe - I'm 50/50 between the model replica of the evergiven or the giant glass rainbow that almost touched correctly. probably the evergiven. it just feels so Joe in every way possible (positive)

mumbo - season 6 base. it probably gets extra points for being like the second ever hermitcraft series I watched, but idc this is my infodump. Just the giant ball with the huge storage system that worked 50% of the time. the beautiful bumbo mumball crestening the top built by iskall. the fabulous terraforming by scar. all the "small" (heavy emphasis on quotes, they weren't small just looked it compared to the rest) farms around the outside. I love it so much, not only feels so mumbo but so hermitcraft

pearl - twinkly trash and its surroundings. I love the whole environment it's so cool and surprisingly inviting for a realm of trash. also the ibis and the little bag mascot on the top, adorable.

ren - hmmm he has so many I think of. the whole season 7 steampunk-y aesthetic around gigalogs was so cool (wait was it called gigalogs then? it's been so long since I've watched it). Like the whole balloon delivering all the wood from the Mesa? love it yes

scar - omg again way too many to choose from. Probably either the elven village from 7 or scarland, probably scarland. I fucking love all of his builds cause they don't feel like builds, much more environments and worlds. love everything he does

stress - I love her season 7 giant skull covered in flowers. just felt so stress

tango - deepfrost citadel, decked out basement included, though toon towers is close behind. fucking beautiful build, and even bigger in scale when you fly around the world download. such a impressive build to create and make in survival. I don't feel like I need to say how iconic decked out is, such a marvel of engineering showing incredible creative power

tfc - I love his Vault-tec bunker so much

beef - hermitcraft tcg, need i say more?

xisuma - I love the derp-coin empire. it's whole evil dark aesthetic is so cool. I mean he totally didn't build it, it was evil x for sure mhm.

zed - oh the cave of contraptions my beloved. Just a giant cave filled with the most weird zedaphy stuff only he could do. Love it and it's so much fun to play around in the world downloads

cleo - ooooooo another tough call. the zoo, probably, though you could argue for nearly anything Cleo makes.

(omg this was long I'm so sorry LMAO)

(for science)

what would you say are each hermits' most iconic builds?

[its-real]

I was going to wait until I had finished doing all the concept sketches for this but uh, I’m lazy so here take it as it is I’ll keep adding surely surely.

-LONG POST-

AU where the hermits fall into the boatem hole with no way to fly out because of some event that happens - maybe an apocalypse, maybe everyone just goes apeshit, who knows - and they all get messed up heads from falling in the void and passing out n fun stuff like that. They ‘land’ - idk how this would work without them dying lol - in a semi futuristic city which for now let’s just call it Boateqm (silent q). The hermit crabs would also fall at different rates therefore appear in the city at different times. So where do they end up?

Hospital gang:

Etho wakes up in a hospital bed with no memories - most of them will wake up with no memories btw - his doctor/nurse (this hospital may be understaffed) Tango asks him a bunch of questions then has to go see another patient. Etho is seen by a certain Bdubs who had just finished visiting his buddy Scar -will get to him next- in the bed next door. Bdubs walks back to notify Scar, a fashion designer, that the guy in the bed across would make a great model, just look at the striking hair! And the red eye! He opens the curtains on the side and Scar gets a look. He asks if Etho would like to be hired. Etho is to say the least very confused and on the verge of a panic attack that never quite seems to happen so he’s in a weird kind of limbo anyway it is now that his doctor/nurse Tango comes back and having overheard the conversation suggests it would be a good idea. The hospital can only take custody of Etho for so long, might as well start earning money now so he doesn’t become homeless. Etho is still very confused. So Tango just agrees to the job for him as his caretaker lol, and besides Scar comes here kinda often so Tango trusts him. Anyway Etho’s true passions he discovers are synthesisers, breeding horses with Bdubs and finding elaborate ways to do tax evasion. A simple man.

Scar is in the hospital because he got SCAR (hehe) from walking into a glass door in his super fancy house, which he owns because he’s a super fucking rich fashion designer of his own label Scara (this is not the first time he’s walked into a glass door). Scar refuses to go to a rich people hospital tho cause 1) he cares about healthcare and wants more funds to go to lower grade hospitals 2) Tango is his mate, and needs a goddam raise. But yeah, very successful, ran for mayor once but someone really didn’t like that which resulted in another hospital visit. Mans in the wars. One hospital visit he got really inspired by the fabric and stuff there so he had a line of clothes that were hospital inspired one time, in turn making hospital inspired garb very trendy for a bit. What a mad lad. Ideas man. Some would call him a genius if he didn’t keep on walking into glass doors n shit. Scar woke up in the back room of a small tailoring shop owned by a nice old couple who took him under their wing. He thanks them in every award speech, and whenever he’s in the area make sure to stop by and give them presents. His side hobby is gardening.

When Tango came to, he was lying on the footpath of a quiet street in the suburbs just out from the main city. Gorgeous day, golden hour, pretty houses, very aesthetic. He also had a leg injury, fuck. So Tango did what anyone would do: hobbled to the nearest house, asked in the nicest way he could under a lot of stress (so he kinda yelled) for a first aid kit, and performed surgery on himself atop the nice families dinner table. The nice family turned out to have called the police and an ambulance, who showed up just as Tango was wrapping up his leg with a bandage and took him away to the police on a stretcher. This debacle got him a leading story on the local newspaper: ‘Man performs surgery on himself after waking up with no memories and a leg injury’. After being questioned by the police, they decide they can’t really charge someone with amnesia and no money with anything like breaking and entering (he did knock and they did let him in) or property damage (blood on the carpet). The paramedics are stunned at his surgery, so they tell the police to take him to the nearest hospital and get him hired there, he could save so many lives. He gets hired by the head doctor after an examination of the surgery. The head doctor doesn’t really care that Tango doesn’t have any records or anything, the hospital is understaffed and Tango seems like an Angel sent down from the heavens to him. Tango is very very good at his job. So good that he gets offered a job at a far better paying hospital which he takes, then soon drops because he prefers the chaos of his old job much better.

Tango found Impulse extremely dehydrated, looking like death, wandering outside his flat one night, so he carried the man inside and saved his life. Now they are flat mates, and Impulse works in a tech store - an upgrade from working at a service station previously.

Bdubs woke up in an inner city park at night, homeless, broke, and in the company of other homeless and broke people. He built his way to success, got luckily hired by some rich asshole to mow their lawns plural - the rich asshole didn’t ask much questions, he just saw a poor man criticising the way a park had been landscaped to an old guy in a caravan and though it was good enough, seeing as the last one quit - and Bdubs didn’t mind too much, because the rich assholes property was really gorgeous. Once Bdubs was able to say he had work experience and wasn’t homeless he started babysitting the kids in the neighbourhood, pretty good money. Plus the kids love him, and everyone he meets loves him, he's just a nice guy. He met Scar because he had to purchase a suit for a kids birthday party, so he went to the cute little tailors shop he always walked past on the way to his favourite cute little gardening supplies shop. By now Bdubs had been promoted to part time gardener - the job is shared - and started working on and off at a building firm. They become besties, turns out Scar is also really into gardening etc etc. Eventually Bdubs becomes an architect, mainly designing for city contractors n such but occasionally designer homes, like the one he did for Scar.

Mumbo and Grian wake up in the hospital around the same time that Etho is still there, however Etho has been awake longer, and should really find a place to stay soon now that he’s got a steady job. Since - ok plot point here - the two are in the exact situation that Etho found himself in, he starts to feel like something weird is going on. Mumbo and Grian take a lot longer to recover than Etho did, and the two become hospital bed neighbor buddies. When they finally recover Scar offers them a temporary place to stay at his house while they find work. Tango gets Impulse to put in a good word for Mumbo at his work.

Nomads:

TFC is an old man who lives in a caravan off the money he made being a very successful miner, he now collects pretty shiny rocks and gems and stuff to give to kids. He’s like an all year round caravan Santa and wise old mystical figure. Dope.

Joe is a humble man who likes to wander. He’s never had a home, but if he needs anything he’ll go to TFC’s caravan or a homeless shelter or something. But he isn’t sad or anything, he really likes the freedom of being a simple wanderer.

Others:

Keralis is a business partner of Bdubs. Kerlalis is mega stonks. He was one of the first to land, had a big diamond in his pocket, bought shares in a company that blew up soon after and now he is really fucking rich.

Doc and Ren are the only ones who remember anything, and they arrive at the same time. Doc manages to keep his cool, but Ren loses his shit and gets thrown in a mental institution. Doc spends some time trying to get Ren out, and after a final success and laying low for a bit the two seek to bring all the hermits together.

Pearl ends up working in Bdubs building company.

Beef works in a music shop -sells records and instruments- and he starts up a record label out back after his boss retires and passes the shop onto him.

And yeah I don’t really know the other Hermits that well was hoping some of ya’ll could help me find places for them in this city :) don’t really know how to format this either so maybe some input would be nice, just wanted to get the idea out hehehe

[thevivification]

Lives of Three | Prologue

Halloo! So I decided to start making a fic and to honour that have the prologue. hope it ain't too bad! Here's a link to it on Ao3

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Ah, Boatem. The explosive area known for the good 'ol hole to the void right in the center. Boatem, the people that decided to have a meeting located in said hole to the void. Boatem, the lovable, talented people on the northern part of The Continent. Or at least they were formerly part of The Continent.

It was, odd, to say the least. The Hermits had been having a normal day. Crafting tables were scattered yet again on Pearl's mountain, an end crystal had appeared right beside Mumbo's front lawn, and honestly no one knows why the big-hatted salesman is doing what he's doing but overall it's a normal day in the seaside town.

<Grian> BY THE HOLE

Ah, another meeting it seems. Cubfan had seem and heard them all, llamas in the void, end crystals and eggs, and oh don't forget about the racehorses. He never really minded though.

With a little bit of peaking, he saw the next shanenigan they'd gotten themselves into. Grian had replaced some of the surrounding grass with ice, and they'd be sliding around in boats while trying to discuss the topic. He went straight back to his canyon, deciding it'd be best to check his stores' stock.

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GoodTimeWithScar fell into the void

There's the first death, an expected outcome in any boatem meeting. Cub paid no mind to it, they would respawn anyways.

<CubFan135> Successful meeting? <Grian> Where's Scar?

The vex stared at his communicator. Well he's fallen in the hole, has he not? We saw the death message appear right in chat, so he could be at either at spawn, or at his base.

GoodTimeWithScar left the game

Now that's odd. There's no rational explanation as to why he'd leave, and if it has something to do with the void then X might have an answer but other than that, there may not be much. Cub can hear panicked yelling from the Boatem area, and it sounds like Pearl's trying to calm everyone else down.

MumboJumbo fell into the void ImpulseSV fell into the void PearlescentMoon fell into the void MumboJumbo left the game Grian fell into the void ImpulseSV left the game <Tango> What is going on?? <Etho> I don't know but it's kinda weird PearlescentMoon left the game <GeminiTay> Do you think we should check it out? <Renthedog> Yeah it's not looking so good Grian left the game

Oh. Well then that's not good. Cub pockets the communicator in his lab coat, storing his collected diamonds into his wallet. He navigates the spikes of his dripstone canyon and walks towards the boatem village.

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He wasn't the only one there. About seven other players were there, Ren, Etho and Bdubs being some. Cub unmuted his mic, meeting with a bunch of concerned voices.

"Ah Cub! You're their neighbor, do you know what happened to them?" a worried Gem had asked.

"Afraid not. I know about as much as the rest 'a y'all." He pulled out his comm to look at a playback of chat. Yep, mostly worried messages and five void deaths. The commotion around him started getting louder, a cluster of voices piling up onto each other to create a flurry of confusion.

"Guys, down here!" the familiar voice of Etho called from down in the Boatem hole. Everyone looked down, caring not to accidentally fall into the boatem hole itself. That's when they see it.

The Void wasn't exactly the Void anymore, the pure black and with hints of purple had started to swirl and glow a dim green. Etho grabs a spare loyalty trident from his inventory and launches it into the Void. He waits, and waits, and waits, and it doesn't come back. Tango carefully made his way to a safe section of the bedrock, he crouches down and squints his eyes to focus more on the void.

"What is that thing?" He lowers his head closer when he feels gravity pulling him down and jolts right back up.

"You think you can get up from there? we don't want to risk losing anyone else," Doc called down. The two of them nodded, with Tango firing a rocket and Etho pearling upwards.

"Alright, Tango, Etho, what did you see?" Doc asked. Zed brought out his clipboard and started taking down notes.

"Well I tested out one of my spare loyalty tridents on the thing. Never came back." Zed nodded along, messily scribbling the details onto a paper.

"Well there's definitely something weird about it. Dangit, where's X when you need him?" Tango crossed his arms and tapped his feet against the ground. He's looking around avoiding to even glance at the Boatem hole. The atmosphere is tense, and as the vex looks down he notices a bright blue substance on certain parts of the walls.

"Vex magic," he thinks aloud. The other hermits look towards him. "Scar had used vex magic here, there's traces of it." He moves closer towards the edge, assessing the traces of vex magic left.

"Do you know why he'd use vex magic?" Zed asked, replacing his clipboard with a scruffy notebook.

"Honestly I have no clue. Maybe we should ask X?" And the rest nodded.

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Haha idk if this is good lol

[astronomical-bagel]

ok so i just went and listened to "you can't talk about bruno" bc I wanted to know what you were talking about and oh pls elaborate

SAJDHFSJF AAAAAAA TY TY FOR ASKING OKAY OKAY SO:

The reason why i originally thought of this was how scar like made all those contracts and still ended up alone and friendless, for one reason or the other. Everyone just kinda... avoided him, and either they didn't trust him or they were just too busy with their other alliances. Hence: We dont talk abt Scar. Kay? Kay. this might get a liiiittle lengthy and a tad incomprehensible so the rest is gonna be under the cut ahaha

So the castings are:

Pepa: Etho

Felix: Bdubs

(also if you havent watched the movie you NEED to watch this clip bc i LOVE their energy and etho and bdubs 100% do the tango while singing their part)

Dolores 1 (the "grew to live in fear of Bruno stuttering or stumbling" girl): Joel

Camilo ("seven-foot frame, rats along his back"): Ren

Isabella ("He told me that the life of my dreams"): Scott

Dolores 2 ("He told me that the man of my dreams would be just out of reach"): Grian

And Mirabel ("Um, Bruno/yeah, about that Bruno"): Scar himself

OKAY now we got the main casting lemme tell you WHY i cast them. (IMPORTANT: these guys are dissing on Scar to an unknown inquisitor, it doesnt matter who their talking to lollolol):

ethubs: I wanted to see them dance. WELL thats not the ONLY reason-- y'know the whole thing when etho got scar to give bdubs a life, PLUS all the fighting and burning of trees that happened w them? Etho's portion his him bashing on scar bc of that, calling him a swindler and stuff bc of the contracts (the "looks like rain" part is abt the tree arson haha) (ALSO this ties into the marriage counseler joke scar made lmao)

Okay and delores' first part is joel gossiping about scar basically. Since scar is his upstairs neighbor, he can "always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling". Scar's all alone despite doing his best not to be, as well as doing his crystal wizard stuff, he probably talks to himself a lot. OH and the "sound of falling sand" part is SO GOOD bc you can translate that into the clinking of crystals, the shuffling of papers, or YKNOW ACTUAL SAND BC DESERT DUO <3333. it works vv well and i love that line.

OH AND RENS BIT SLAPS SO HARD (A seven-foot frame, rats along his back/When he calls your name it all fades to black/Yeah, he sees your dreams and feasts on your screams) THAT FUCKS!! anyways i chose that for him bc 1.) Scar took ren's final life in third life and 2.) ren took scars final life in last life and 3.) that mean ren kinda has a grudge and you KNOW he likes to make any adversary of his seem as intimidating as possible (cough cough "his name is Mumbo Jumbo" cough cough). Hes such a theater kid too, it's perfect

OKAY and i didn't cast these up above bc theyre not named characters lol BUT its a bunch of people blaming more or less random things on Scar. "He told me my fish would die" could go to lizzie (i mean. im PRETTY sure shes the one w the axolotl), and the other ones could be jimmy blaming the fact that he died first again on him, and hmmm idk about the third guy BUT THAT DOESNT MATTER you could pick any grievance bc the point is that its not actually scar's fault lol

AND ISABELLAS PART is scott and listen this is one of my weaker castings okay. i almost made it grian but i REALLY wanted grian to be dolores's second part so this is just scot being all sparkly like "I won tee hee :3" ig??

(also the "Óye, Mariano's on his way" is pearl lol. Mariano is joel and grian sneaking into their base once again lololol)

OKAY AND DOLORES'S SECOND PART this one is grian because GOD i love sand duo and it features grian staring longingly at monopoly mountain bc theyre not allowed to team up bc of the new season ("just out of reach" and all that)

AND SCAR also doubles as mirabel bc idk it fts. Hes like "ahaha about all that...." AND AND AND i have this scene during the whole bangin medley part where everyone's singing at once where he has a whole bunch of contracts and crystals around him and theyre all doing their thing around him in like a circle (like ethubs doin their little dancy dance, ren doin his spooky story telling, ect ect ect) and the camera angle is like circling around him and the contracts whip up like a tornado AND ITS RLLY COOL AND ANGSTY AND DRAMATIC OKAY and it kinda reminds me of some Good for You animatics if that helps u imagine the visuals

OKAY THATS ALL OF MY RAMBLINGS THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT IT

[impulstor]

since I am filled with both love and rage, I shall also be ranking hermits* by how much I want to fight them

* not all of them. just my general favorites bc I don't know enough about them all

zedaph: he has very. very. similar vibes to one of my dearest friends, of whom I absolutely adore. similarly, we also attempt to beat the shit out of each other at random interverals, so I would love to fight him. also hes british so. Yknow. 9/10

impulse: genuinely could not fight him. he has like. the vibes of a golden retriever and I fuckin love golden retrievers. the best I could do would be to give him a hug, I think. 1/10

tango: interestingly enough, he ALSO has the vibes of a different dear friend of mine, who I battle over our wildly differing opinions. (not serious ones. just like... pineapple on pizza) so, I'd definitely fight him over like... opinions on olives, or something. idk, i also like pineapple on pizza so that's out of the question. anyway he'd Probably win but itd be funny and that's what counts. 6/10

grian: oh hell yeah I'd fight him. now whether or not I could win... I don't know. because I know how to win against some short people, and another short gremlin could probably obliterate me. it really depends if he is weak to being poked in the ribs. would be very fun. 7/10

mumbo: yes. yes. he is british AND a twig. absolutely. 100%. 10/10

iskall: absolutely Not. he would kick my ass 100%. but if he did, I'd probably compliment him after doing so. -3/10

scar: I don't think I'd have it in me to fight scar either. he brings me too much joy. however him being Government does put him up there a lil bit but. no. I'd definitely just beg to pet jellie and show him my ragdoll kitty instead djjdkfnv. 2/10

bdubs: nope he would obliterate me. he is small, feral, and has knives. I probably wouldnt be able to stop myself from calling him short and he might straight up kill me /j. -5/10

etho: i have come to the conclusion that etho and i have very similar thinking patterns and brains for like......... thoughts. so i would rather enjoy battling to see who would win. admittedly it would probably be him, considering that I am easily distracted and clumsy, but itd be fun anyway. 8/10

ren: I would absolutely love to fight ren. specifically, would love to fight him with like. swords or lightsabers or something. whether or not I'd win isnt even a question, however, because I wouldnt try to win and I'd be happy to let him win. 10/10 sometimes battle, especially swordfighting, is sexy and I'm really gay for ren ✨

xisuma: yeah, I'd fight him. I'd probably like. cheat and use the sword and shield I have on my wall though. I don't have armor, so it's only fair. I'd only bonk him on the head or something though, it's just a wooden sword. he IS british though, I gotta fight him. 7/10