#yeah i've been drawing a lot of school too which is why i haven't been as active

[nguyenfinity]

An informational poster project I did for a class!! The poster had to cover something that has 5 steps or parts and could be on anything, I was having trouble what to pick for mine but I thought doing a really dark topic in a kawaii pop style would be fun visual contrast

Information Sources: Stage Descriptions | Stage Descriptions 2 | Days Per Stage

[softguarnere]

Hey. I'm really sorry if I came across pushy or impatient bc that was not my intention at all. Of course school is more important. I hope you like my ideas but if not that's totally fine.

Ok, so here's the first one. You have been a member of Easy co. through almost the whole war. Down in the mud with them and forced to wear the same uniform. Other than being the only girl in the company you just blended in with the guys. That is, until the end of the war came.

My request is a headcanon of the guys reaction to seeing you actually look like a girl for the first time. I mean the works; pin up hair, make up, killer dress, and heels. Also, if it's not too much trouble could you please make sure to include Doc Roe, Babe, Malarkey, and Liebgott? If you want to include any of the other boys please do. Thanks!

Hey hey! Me again sending in my second idea. Again you're the only girl in Easy co. and at some point during the war you took quite a bit of shrapnel; especially to your chest and abdomen.

This is another reaction headcanon request (of a more romantic nature) of the guys seeing all your scars for the first time during a more private moment. Again can you please include Doc Roe, Babe, Malarkey, and Liebgott? Thanks! ❤️

Since you sent two requests, I decided to combine them for the sake of ease and time.

Even though I'm a writer, I'm a historian by trade, and I've never been comfortable with the whole "unexplained sole female member of the company" because I could never stretch my imagination to come up with a proper explanation for why that would be, so I hope you don't mind that I had to change it slightly. I also don't write NSFW, so the second part had to be left pretty vague.

Because of the time crunch, these haven't been proof read or edited!

Reactions to seeing you dressed up for the first time, and later, your battle scars

Doc Roe

When a women's division was added to Easy Company, a lot of the men found themselves getting somewhat distracted

If he's being honest, then yes, Gene has spared a glance at some of the women. But he's been so busy with the constant work of being a combat medic that he hasn't noticed anyone in particular

Until the end of the war, that is

Everyone goes wild once Berchtesgaden is taken. People are looting the jewelry and clothes for themselves, for friends and family, for sweethearts back home

And you happen to take a dress and some jewelry that make you absolutely sparkle - when Gene sees you for the first time, it takes his breath away

Once he works up the courage to talk to you, the two of you take it slow

With everything that has happened and the fast pace of the war, he completely forgot that you took some shrapnel back in Bastogne

You seem so ashamed when you first show him the scars it left you with, but he thinks nothing of it

"We all got 'em," he assures you

"You don't."

"Yeah, I do." He places your hand over his heart. "You just can't see 'em."

Babe

Okay, I think he would actually take notice of you for the first time after the war

It's at an Easy reunion. He happens to look up from his drink as you walk in

He chokes, which draws Bill's attention

"Who the hell is that?"

Bill squints over at you. "Oh, I think it's (Y/L/N)."

"Who?"

"(Y/N)? From the women's division, remember?"

Babe tilts his head. "No."

"Well, she looks different outta uniform, I guess."

All this to say, Babe has taken an interest in you, and he has no qualms about telling you exactly that when he (re)introduces himself to you

You have a great time at the reunion, and although you and Babe keep in touch and become close, he's a little shocked to realize how many things he didn't know about you

Like about the scars that the war left you with

You're shy, almost timid, when you show him, even though you trust him by now

"I had no idea," he admits.

"I don't usually bring it up," you hesitate before continuing. "It, uh - some guys haven't liked it. It makes them uncomfortable."

Something about the way you say it is so open and honest that Babe can't help the rush of emotion that comes over him. He grabs your hand and squeezes it tight

"Then doll, they weren't good enough for you."

Malarkey

Unlike the others, he knows you got hit, because he was there

But it's not something that he thinks about. He's busy trying to forget the war, after all

And as the war draws to a close, he gets so used to seeing you in your Ike jacket and thinking about how it makes you look like some sort of goddess of war that it's distracting

It's not until your last night in Berchtesgaden, when your relationship becomes official, that he learns about the scars the shrapnel left you with

"Does it hurt?" he asks, immediately remembering that awful day back in Holland when he saw you go down as the shrapnel struck you.

"No." You only smirk. "You should see the other guy."

He knew there was a reason that he liked you so much.

Liebgott

Listen, he's such a flirt that I'm convinced he noticed you before and has been subtly throwing flirtations your way throughout the war

But once he sees you at the war's end in a dress and some bright red lipstick that you stole? WOW - you're a knock-out. The pin-ups back in the States have nothing on you, and he simply can't wait another second to make a move

"Hiya, your Highness." He kisses the back of your hand and gives you a deep bow. "My name is Joe. Have we met before?"

All the other women would be giggling while watching the interaction. You can only roll your eyes, trying to hide the heat rushing to your cheeks.

"Maybe once . . . in your dreams."

Joe has always thought you were pretty, and he'll think your gorgeous no matter what

Seeing your scars has a different effect on him.

The anger that would course through him at the realization that the war left its mark on you in the most literal sense? Unmatched.

"Joey," you have to tell him, hooking his chin with a finger and guiding his gaze back up to your eyes. "If it makes you uncomfortable I can - "

"No." He grabs your hands. "Sorry, doll. I didn't mean to make you self-conscious. I just - "

"I know," you assure him. "No use being angry now, though. The damage is done."

But he doesn't want you to see it as damage. And slowly, he comes to see it as character instead; one more piece of you that makes you who you are - and reminds him of why he fights.

[allmightskitten]

Ao3 is down??!!! Well, sounds as good a time as any to post another instalment from the abandoned WIP graveyard!

🦩🐊❤️‍🔥

Abandoned WIP Graveyard:

do you think you'd like to buy me diamonds?

- a modern doflamingo/crocodile/corazon fic

- abandoned possibly temporarily, something to return to in the future if there's time

- was going to be E rated and nasty, but the preview I have for you today hasn't gotten there yet lol

- dofcora, dofuwani, both those things together AND corawani 🫣 also the crocodad theory is a thing here because of course it is ☝️

Extract below the cut:

It meant one of two things if he wasn't responding to their shared code of knocking thrice slowly, and thrice more in quick succession: one, he was neck deep in work, hunched over pages and pages of scattered drawings that had built up over the course of half a day, and hundreds of scrunched-up sheets in the bin, on the bed and floor, everywhere– or, two: he was pouring over images and information that he really shouldn't have.

Doflamingo was holed up in his room again, and Rosinante knew from prior experience that that was never a good sign.

Images and information that, Rosinante was quite sure, would be classified by most as 'creepy' to own or at the very least 'illegal'.

He tried the knock again. There wasn't anything terribly important to bother his brother about, but he needed to know as early as possible if Doffy would be free to drive him to Law's school play later this evening. He had got his own license suspended a few days back for reckless driving, which in his defense was more so bad driving than recklessness as his general clumsiness unfortunately translated to that aspect of his life as well.

"Come in," Doffy's voice came muffled through the door, unexpressive and distracted. Rosinante braced himself and let himself inside.

Yeah...

This was what he was afraid of.

The bedroom he set foot into was like a folder of evidence needed for a restraining order. Blown-up photos of him– 'Crocodile', the 40-something-year-old casino owner Doflamingo had become fixated on– lined the walls, stuck to them carelessly with kraft tape. Splayed out on the bed in front of Doffy were printed news articles and magazine clippings, every one about the same subject. Piled on the foot of the bed were an assortment of various items including brand new cigars, ties, bottles of wine and flowers.

Rosinante cleared his throat pointedly, drawing a pair of pale crimson eyes in his direction.

"I thought we agreed that stalking that man is dangerous." Crocodile had ties to the underworld too, ties that were very much not in line with their own. "It would be a lot less dangerous if you just visited his casino and started speaking to him organically."

Doffy slowly set down the magazine clippings he was stuffing into a transparent folder. He observed Rosinante for a moment, like he was reading his body language and all his tells he wasn't aware of himself, before a sudden snort-laugh escaped him loudly.

"Aw, don't tell me you're jealous, baby brother!"

Rosinante's cheeks felt hot.

"I'm not jealous," he sputtered, like the very notion was ridiculous. 

"It's okay," Doflamingo said placatingly, knowingly, sugary-sweet. He made space on the bed beside him and patted the sheets. "I've been neglecting you lately, haven't I? Let me make things right."

Rosi bit his lip. There was nothing remotely right about what Doffy was offering to do, and all the other things they had started to get up to in recent times– things one certainly shouldn't be doing with one's own family member, nevermind one as close as a sibling– but he knew Doflamingo felt no guilt and remained completely unapologetic for it.

Why the hell not? he'd whispered in Rosinante's ear a fortnight ago, when he had grown stiff in Doffy's arms, chilling realization hitting him like a freight train after evading him the entire time Doffy had been kissing him, jerking him off until he came. We're closer to each other than anyone. What does a little more closeness matter?

Oh, but Doflamingo's touch was addictive. His attention doubly so.

His body moved on its own to take the space Doffy had cleared for him. Short, cropped blonde hair was immediately in his lap as Doflamingo stretched his long legs out on the other side of the bed, grinning devilishly up at him as he slid his fingers into his big brother's hair.

It probably had something to do with their messy upbringing. Their years of separation before they found their way back to each other. The way Doflamingo spoiled him rotten with all the wealth he'd built up in the time he'd been gone, in stark contrast to the impoverished lifestyle Rosinante led until then.

Doflamingo really had no qualms about anything, and nothing was a step too far in his book, but Rosinante wasn't like that. He had principles and morals and knew right from wrong, usually.

Doflamingo brought out the worst in him.

Rosi cleared his throat, not wanting to go down that avenue right now. For his own sanity he'd have to avoid Doffy for another fortnight if today's interaction ended like last time.

"I need you to drive me somewhere tonight. Law has a role in the school play."

Doffy snorted, his expression immediately souring.

"What, is he a tree? Or perhaps the backstage help who moves the set pieces?"

Rosinante swatted him on the head for that, indignant at the implication.

"He has a speaking role, asshole!"

"Oh, does he now? So they managed to pull him away from his books enough to get him to audition?"

Rosi dug his massaging fingers into Doffy's scalp a little aggressively. "Stop being such an ass. He's eight, you can't keep having beef with an eight year old."

"He always starts it!" Doffy protested childishly. "I have never, ever started the fight."

"Right, like I'm gonna believe that."

"I swear!"

"Because your word is so honest." Rosinante rolled his eyes, but he relaxed his fingers, and Doffy immediately melted into his touch. "So? Can you drive me there tonight? You don't have to stick around and watch it."

"Mm, I was thinking about your advice, actually." Doffy reached up to touch his cheek. "About interacting normally with Crocodile, at his casino. I was thinking of doing that tonight."

Rosi squeezed his hand. "Dof, I'm glad to hear that. I really am, but I don't want to miss Law's play." Law hated Doflamingo. And the kid was very perceptive, scarily so– the last time Rosinante had missed the chance to be there for him because of Doflamingo, he'd automatically known who to blame. Rosinante wasn't keen on disappointing his kid either. Law had no one but him. 

Doffy narrowed his eyes at him, studying the expression on his face, the quiet plea to allow him this. It was unhealthy, it was wrong, just how much control Doflamingo had over his life, but he could be reasoned with if it was coming from Rosinante...

"Fine," Doflamingo said finally. "I'll drive you to the play. But I'm only dropping you off. I can't leave the casino early to pick you up after."

That was fine. He could take a taxi. The Donquixotes weren't supposed to be taking civilian taxis, that was dangerous and Doflamingo didn't allow him especially, but he didn't have to know that. "I can get a lift from one of the parents."

"And have you vetted these people?"

Rosi sighed. There was that paranoia again– though more than being paranoid it was probably being controlling.

"Yes, Doffy, I have. Having a kid in Law's class whom he recognizes is quite a difficult cover for one of your enemies to fake, you know."

"You never know," Doffy said darkly, seriously, but he seemed placated with the answer. "You don't have to go that far, anyway. I'll send one of my men to pick you up. Bellamy's schedule should be free today."

Rosi nodded, grateful and disappointed at the same time. He wasn't a huge fan of the life his brother lived and actively benefiting from it didn't always sit right with him. It wasn't like Doflamingo's underworld business that made him filthy rich was without victims.

Doflamingo patted his cheek, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Not even a thank you, Rosi? Come here and show me."

Rosinante tried to pretend he was only placating Doflamingo when he leaned down to kiss him on the lips.

[woneuntonzz]

what's it like to love ? 𓇢𓆸

anton lee x afab!reader (part 4/5)

• part 1

• part 2

• part 3

• part 5

warnings: cussing!

genre: fluff -`♡´- highschool love

word count: 5.3k words!!

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ description: student athlete!anton x studious class officer!reader | you swore to yourself, to you friends and even to your parents “I'm not one to easily fall.” and you thought you were that tough, not until him of course. [note!!: hiii i'd just like to quickly say that this is my first ever post ever and i'm still a bit insecure with my writing, and english is not my first language so bare with me now 🙏 open for any forms of feedback please do take note that i will take longer to update/respond to anything because of school, thank you!!! ]

[Day 14]

“You seriously aren't dating?” 

It's been over an hour since you've set yourself to finish the very last thing that you needed to complete your grades in Economics. 

You and a couple of your friends were in the library on an early Tuesday morning to finish schoolwork. You've spent the past week taking tests, conducting group presentations, finishing remaining school work, and preparing for the finals which were to be held the next day.

“No —shouldn't you be studying? I heard your class is getting a long test from Mr. Choi later.” you didn't bother drawing your eyes away from what you were doing hoping that they would stop pestering you with the unnecessary questions.

“That's not a problem to me, so stop changing the topic. Tell us what's going on between you and the swimmer guy, you two are always together nowadays 's so hard to miss now.” you stopped and stared at the paper you've been working on, giving Liz a quick glance.

“He likes me.” These words slip past your mouth like it's been resting at the back of your tongue. 

”And?” you sighed at Liz's urges and pursed your lips, trying to find the words to explain everything.

“I haven't reciprocated.” your response was very subtle but your tone indicated hesitance.

“For real? Well, how do you feel about Anton?” Liz's question made everyone take a pause on what they were doing, they were all eyes and ears for you.

“Anton —he's very sweet, and he cares about me, like, a lot. And you know how I've been bothered by him ignoring me for like, months? I just suddenly became interested in befriending him, even just a little bit —but, yeah, that happened. I don't get why it bothered me so much that it got to a point of him confessing out of the blue, does this mean I like him too?” Your eyes lingered on the empty space on the table you occupied.

Your friends exchanged worried looks, unsure of how to help you. 

“I mean, you were mainly worried that he hated you, right?” you weakly nodded at Danielle. “Normally you wouldn't really care about that stuff, at least since last year, so looking at it now it seems like your fixation on Anton must mean something.”

You sighed, averting your eyes from the table and staring on the floor below you as you started to think. Because of something that happened back then, I just stopped caring for anyone with a negative sentiment towards me. I didn't care when that girl I swore to the heavens I loved suddenly stopped caring about me just because of a stupid rumor, I didn't care when people started giving me glares, whispering to themselves when I passed by, I didn't care when I saw the screenshots from group chats that talked shit about me and my friends. I just didn't care, but what made me care for him? —you started to reflect on your feelings and actions for the past year. 

“I'll be fine!” The sudden shift of tone and the smile that sprang forth your lips shocked your friends.

“You sure? We're really worried, you know.” Liz held your free hand and caressed it with her thumb. 

“Yeah, I think I got it.” you heartily smiled at both Liz and Danielle to reassure them.

Danielle went to give you a warm embrace whilst Liz had her arm wrapped around your shoulders, giving you a light squeeze. 

In all honesty, even you didn't know what you meant by "I think I got it.”. What was the next move? Just go with the flow —you repeated in your mind, allowing yourself to be receptive as the next few hours flew by.

————— ୨୧ —————

Anton sat next to you in the classroom with a very few others, those including you who chose to stay back for lunch to finish the workload. 

Both you and Anton were busy with something, with you assisting him every now and then since he had a lot more to work on. 

Despite the very heavy atmosphere brought in by the stress from school, you and Anton appeared to be marveling in your own little world, sifting through paperwork with such radiant expressions embedded on your faces. 

“How should I design this?” Anton held up his unfinished project.

You turned to face him, crossing your legs and holding your chin to imitate enthusiasm. “You know what it needs?”  

“Please don't say Barney the Purple Dinosaur, that… thing… It terrifies me.” Anton shimmied his shoulders to express his supposed fear.

“WHAT? He's cute!” you pressed on him, making him breathe out a laugh.

“So you're saying Barney looks like you?” your eyebrows nearly touched from what he had just said.

“Excuse me? Do I look purple to you?” you jabbed at him with 'threatening' eyes. 

“No, what I mean is, if he's really cute as you claim, he should at least resemble you.” Anton calmly explained.

His zealous explanation made you chortle. He was immersed in your laughter, your voice, your eyes that disappeared as you chortled on, and the corners of your lips that rose higher and higher, because of him.

“Oh, so I'm your basis for what you classify as cute?” you breathlessly spoke, still trying to recover from your disoriented state.

“Well, yeah! look at you…” he cupped your face in his hands, gently squishing your cheeks.

His eyes went from your lips to your eyes after you had gone completely quiet. Your eyes meet each other, stuck perfectly as if binded by glue. He delved into the pools of your eyes, trying to capture what it is you're trying to tell him with your stare.

“Anton.” Your serene voice made Anton blink.

“Yeah?” he whispered back.

“Can you give me a little more time?” he breathes in after hearing your question, but you spoke again before he could utter a response. “To think about… us.”

Your face was still in his hands. He started softly brushing his thumb against the skin of your cheeks. “Of course. I'm sorry, am I moving too fast?”

“No.” but I'm falling too fast —you were only able to finish your sentence in your mind, still afraid to admit your feelings.

You were still quite unsure. You were still afraid that things would end up the same way it did for you past 'relationships', you were already thinking about the plausible downfall before anything had even started.

————— ୨୧ —————

The bell rang, students scurried out of the building, being chased by the obligation to study for the exams tomorrow day. 

“Don't message me tonight okay? Both you and I have A LOT to study.” you iterate to the guy walking beside you.

“Yep. I'll be crying over chemistry… if you even cared.” you playfully rolled your eyes at his humorous cry.

When you stepped out of the school gates, you were expecting him to wave goodbye and walk the other way, but then after being about a meter away from school, you stopped in your tracks.

“Why are you still with me? isn't your house the other way?” you furrowed your brows as you looked at him.

“You're crazy for real, my house is literally in the same direction as yours, keep walking luv.” Anton placed his hand on the area below the back of your neck, lightly pushing you to continue your steps.

“Wait, really? you've always walked the other way…” at this point you were just questioning everything and you already had a lot on your mind considering the exams.

“I visit the record store nearby before going home.” you simply nodded at Anton for his clarification.

“Why?” you asked to which he shrugged.

“I like it there. It's peaceful, it's vintage, the music is fire, and the owner is very nice.” it was true that he often visited that place before he went home, but not everyday, what wasn't a fact is that his home is actually in the same direction as yours. “I can take you there some time when you're free.”

“I'd love that.” you utter, smiling to yourself, keeping your eyes on the vamp of your shoes.

You two kept walking till you reached the gates to your house and the sun was just about to fall.

“I never knew you lived just right ahead.” you were unlocking the gate when the words fell off your lips. 

“Are there no people inside to open the gate for you?” you swung the gate open and looked at Anton whose eyes lingered on your bedroom window on the second storey of the house.

“My dad's abroad, my mom's at work.” you shake your head away from the gloomy thoughts, smiling up at Anton. 

He smiled back, subtly biting down on his bottom lip. 

“Get home safely Tonii.” there was a glint in Anton's eyes when they enlarged in a modicum. 

“Uh —Oh, yeah, you too.” Your laughter filled his ears and soon enough he cracked up as well.

“What do you mean 'you too'?” At this point, you're just breathing out your words. “I'm literally at home right now!”

“You never know, Barney might be right behind the door to kidnap you…” Anton eyed the door of your house, his actions gave you the creeps and the thought that an intruder might actually be inside your house waiting for you flashes in your mind.

“Ow!” you hit Anton's chest, but still, he laughed. 

“Go home! you didn't have to give me anxiety you know!” Anton chuckled once again looking down on you who was looking up at him and pointing at his face, acting menacing in jest.

“Go inside your house first, what will happen then if I left and Barney ends up kidnapping and eating you alive huh?” you both had pursed lips in an attempt to suppress a laugh.

“Okay, okay. I'll go in.” When the two of you finally calmed yourselves down, you walked to the doorstep of your house.

You had the door wide open, just enough for Anton to catch a glimpse of your humble home. You stood by the door, already inside the house. “Message me when you get home, will you?” you asked eagerly, just loud enough for Anton to hear you despite the distance.

“I will.” Anton replied, matching your volume.

He waved at you as a smile crept up to his face. 

His smile somehow caused you to feel some kind of current coursing through your entire body. You had to defy the urge to just walk right back to Anton to make him feel what you felt as your eyes traced the curve that gradually formed on his lips.

He kept his smile as he started to slowly disappear from your sight. You were so smitten that you failed to notice that he walked back to the direction where you came from. 

————— ୨୧ —————

About an hour has passed, and the message you'd been waiting for since you've had yourself settled at your study table is yet to come. 

You've been flipping over your notes, sequentially staring at every word delineated with different color variations of highlights. 

Maybe he forgot, he must've gotten really tired… —you began to think of a thousand reasons why he hasn't messaged you yet. You exhaled heavily, laying your head on your forearm resting on your study table. You shifted your head to the side and eyed your phone. You were pondering on just grabbing it and asking him where he was and why hasn't he messaged you yet. 

You sat up with both hands at the sides of your head. After a few minutes of resisting and a long blink, you finally gave in.

Anton just got off the bus when he felt his phone vibrating in his hands. His eyes went bulging out of its socket when he saw your name.

Anton couldn't help but beam at the little nickname you gave him but he quickly gathered his thoughts and gulped, glancing at the quiet street of their neighborhood. He couldn't stand making up a nonsensical excuse that you'll eventually dissect within seconds, he didn't want you to think that he doesn't really care or that he forgot, that he got too tired. It wouldn't make sense for him not to speak or be with you even if he's exhausted to the core, he could only be in repose with you after all.

A downturned smile formed on Anton's lips. He made great effort every time he intended to flirt with you, and he was aware when you flirted back, he just wasn't certain if you meant any of them. He surely meant every endearment, often masking them with his little quips. He didn't want to think you were just frivolling with him and he's quite abashed with even having to take a second to think about it.

He felt his phone vibrate in his hands again, this time you were calling. He picked up almost immediately, and you were met with the ceiling of his room.

“Nice wall.” you uttered.

“It's the ceiling.” he was chuckling out of frame 

He had his phone set up on his desk and you could see his medals and trophies at the background, and his cello. You were eager to ask him about his cello, ask him to play you something, and maybe even teach you. You cleared your throat as you cleared out your thoughts.  

Anton sat down on his desk chair facing his phone —facing you.

“Where are the others?” Anton asked as he watched you blurt down what you were studying.

“Oh, they backed out.” your tone was nonchalant and your head hung low, pouring all your attention to blurting, or at least you were trying to.

“Really?” he was almost laughing and you heard it, making your left brow rise.

“Mhmm~” you hummed back.

“You sure it's not because you wanted to talk to me?” Anton's tone sent shivers down your spine. 

He sounded calmer, and a lot more alluding, so much so that you had to stop and stare at your notebook for a while to calm your mind and give it some space to process what to reply.

“Maybe —Well, yeah, I guess, but I called you to study.” your voice took after his making him feel assured. 

Despite the soporific air in his room which he inhaled, he was wide awake, wanting to just hear you talk on and on and on again. His yearnings were answered not long after.

“And I guess I wanted to… hear your voice —again.” your figure remained placid in his eyes, but deep inside, your heart pounded like a whole planet of people marching together. 

“Really?” somehow his voice became a lot lower, while still having a comforting and peaceful cadence.

“Mhmm~” your hum, this time, was a lot more mellow. It filled his ears and it got stuck in his head like a song that he almost hummed too.

“Everything about you is so, so beautiful.” your heartbeat persisted.

You looked up to your phone to see him, and there he was, giving you the same smile he left you as he stood by the gates of your home. How could you not smile back? in a matter of seconds, you shied away from his stare, looking back down on the paper that you've almost forsaken. 

“Hey —uh —let's have this talk some other time. There's still a lot to study, especially for you.” Anton could hear the frailty trying to break out of your voice.

He chuckled spurring your attempts to calm your heart down to fall short. “Okay, lovely.”

Your head fell right onto your desk, producing a loud thud.

“Y/n? you okay?” your sudden action stunned him.

“Yeah, yeah, i'm fine! let's just study, please!” you pleaded as you lifted your head back up.

You just had no idea that his heartbeat was in sync with yours. He just wanted to be by your side again. He didn't want the call to end just yet, he loved hearing your voice, but at the same time he couldn't wait for the next day to come so he could admire you closely and marvel in your presence.

————— ୨୧ —————

[Day 17]

Finals have come to an end. Some tests were easier than others, but you were confident, you were gonna be in the Top 5 of the ranks. You felt particularly good during those 3 days of absolute mind torture. Within those 3 nights, you and Anton have been having your study calls. You would both study the whole time, while also fighting to make the other blush more than yourselves. 

It's a cloudy Sunday morning, you could tell it was cloudy since the sun has yet to peek at you at the time it normally would. You had just woken up from a good night's sleep and felt very relaxed that you had nothing to worry about anymore. No pending schoolworks, no group projects and presentations, no more quizzes and exams, and most importantly, no more school for a few short months. 

Once that long awaited break greets you and pats you on the back, all you'll have to do is brace yourself for your senior year, your final year. You've been thinking really hard on what course to take and all you've ever been is nothing but unsure even with the pressure of having only a year left to figure it out.

You got your phone from your bedside table, and without checking it, you headed downstairs. 

“Hey, hun', your grandpa asked if you wanted to come over and visit, we'll only be there till dinner.” your mom asked as she eyed your figure that slowly descended from the stairs. “Your grandpa is having some visitors if you don't mind.”

You lightly smiled at your mom and nodded. 

It's been a while since you've paid a visit to your grandfather's haven —as you'd like to call it. He owned a huge flower field, filled with flowers that he and his family adored. Your grandfather loved seeing people with mouths hang open, admiring the beauty, the work, and the thought put into this field. He could've capitalized on it, but he didn't. He made a gateway and a stone path through the field, and anyone could go in and out. He always watched, to make sure that no one would ruin his beloved flowers, but for the most part he just wanted to see the appreciative nature of mankind towards such beautiful beings.

In the car ride to your grandpa's, your mom would ask you about everything that's been happening for the past few months. It's been quite a while since the two of you had an actual conversation. It was a great relief that your mom missed you as much as you missed her, where every night when you hear the sound of her parking the car in the garage, you couldn't bring yourself to get up anymore and greet her. It would be too late in the night for you to be up and it would worry her, so you would just lay there and you would see her with only the moonlight shining down on her, and she would caress your hair and leave once she's assured that you've been sleeping well.

After some catching up with your mom, you finally arrived at your grandpa's. He welcomed the two of you with a warm and wide smile spread across his face. He smelled like a pie of mixed fruits, which could only mean one thing. 

“These visitors, they want to buy my field.” both you and your mom went wide-eyed from his words.

“You said yes?” your mom's hand reached for her dad's forearm, keeping it there.

“Well, not yet.” your grandfather scratched the back of his neck when your mom let out a loud sigh.

“Well, grandpa, if you can refuse it, you definitely should. That's your gift for grandma for her last birthday, and she's looking over it from the heavens. Who knows what these visitors would do with these fields. They might clear out all the flowers and build a factory for all we know!” your grandpa looked at you with contrite eyes.

“I know, I know, but they've really been pushing me for almost 8 months now! I was hoping we could talk it out through dinner.” you had so much trust in your grandfather, and you knew he could resolve this, you knew he would never give up the field, even for his own life. “And maybe you'd like their son too.”

The worry painted on your face was diminished within seconds. 

“Dad!” your mom lightly hit his shoulder with the hand that used to rest on his forearm.

“What?” your grandpa seemed to be a little too indifferent with the situation he'd put you in and it made you a bit upset.

“Did you set her up with the son!?” your mom had a firm grip on his shoulder now, slightly shaking him as she spoke.

“I guess so.” your mom sighed even heavier than earlier. “Their son is a good guy! He's a bit timid, but he was tall! really tall… and I believe he plays basketball —or was it football? I can't really remember, but—”

“It's fine.” you blurted out, arms crossed and gloomy eyes pinned to the floor. 

“I'm sorry my little tulip. I shouldn't have. You don't have to, okay? I'll try my best to convince them with my words and cooking alone, and if it doesn't work, then, I don't really know what to do —but you can just settle, okay?” your grandpa placed a hand on top of your head and gave it a gentle pat.

You could only nod and give him a weak smile. You loved the field, it's the only fragment of your grandmother that you'll be able to keep till your last breath. When you were born, it's been over a decade since your grandmother had passed. You had never been in her presence, but in the fields, you could catch a glimpse of her amidst the clouds, smiling down at you.

Before you knew it, the night would fall. You made sure you looked proper, still staying true to your words that you were not there to impress anybody. 

You helped your mom with setting up the dining table. When the bottom of the glass pitcher you held touched the table, you heard your grandpa say “Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Lee! —oh, and hello to you too young man!”.

You sighed, but then you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned your head and was met with your mom's reassuring smile. “Nothing's going to be sold, and no one's going to be forced into anything, okay?” she says softly, before making her way into the living room to greet the guests as well.

Her words made you feel at ease, the heavy feelings that slowly weighed down on you started to dwindle.

Put away the cloth you used to handle the pitcher, and you could hear your mom, grandpa and the guests coming into the kitchen. 

“Oh, and that's my granddaughter Y/n. She's very smart, and she can sing too!” you suppress a laugh from hearing your grandpa's proud tone.

You turned around, and your mind went spiraling. It seemed out of the blue, a very peculiar instance. Perhaps this was entirely by chance as this was never a part of your wishes and prayers. 

“Y/n y/s/n?” you tensely nod at who you could only guess as the mother of the family. 

“You know my granddaughter?” your grandfather tilted himself to the side out of curiosity.

“Hmm, yes. We know her very well. She's known for being one of the top students in their school, in fact, she's helped our son a lot with his schoolworks since he had a lot to catch up on.” the mom gave you a warm smile after her sentence.

“Our son is very thankful. We hear your name quite a lot and we've really been wanting to meet you.” This time, it was the dad who spoke.

Your lips quivered. You're just simply at a loss for words. 

Everyone was sitting on the dining table, and there he was, sitting across from you. 

“Oh, I thought you were a basketball player because of how tall you are! good for you! I feel like being a swimmer is a lot cooler!” your grandfather would excitedly exclaim somewhere in the adults' conversation.

You and him never bothered to join in unless you were asked. 

Once again, being in your own little world, when the adults had gone to the living room to talk, the two of you went to the flower fields.

“This place is surreal.” you barely believe that you were hearing the same mellow voice that you could never seem to get off your head again after a while.

“Yeah? just imagine how it would look under the light of day.” you crouched down to touch one of zinnias. 

You felt his lofty figure crouch down next to you. 

“I missed you, you know. My parents tricked me into coming here. I just said I wanted to see this field, but when we got close they told me they wanted me to meet the field owner's daughter. It was like they were implying that I get no bitches.” you couldn't help but laugh at him.

You turned yourself around and carefully sat yourself on the stone path with your knees bent towards your body. You could feel some of the flowers tickling your back making you giggle softly as you looked into his eyes.

“I missed you too Tonii.” he gave you a smile as bright as the moon above.

You both looked up to the sky and admired the stars, and the crescent moon. 

“It was so cloudy this morning. I can't believe this sight would be possible.” your voice was very gentle, still admiring the night sky.

Anton looked into your shimmering eyes. He could see the reflection of the moon greeting him. It was telling him something. He was so mesmerized by you that he wouldn't even realize that you were already staring back at him.

“It's kind of funny, you know? it's like the universe was taunting us, telling us we're gonna meet another romance that was not each other, but in the end it's still us.” you tilted your head, trying to see through Anton's entrancing gaze.

“I like you too Anton.”

Despite the cold air of the night, heat traveled throughout your entire body as you watched his eyes grow larger.

“Am I hearing things? Y/n? Y/n are you there?” you released a hearty laugh and hit his chest playfully.

You allowed your hand to rest there, and you could feel his rapid heartbeat that went at the same pace as yours. It wouldn't take long until you were both staring into each other again, and at the same time, at the same speed, your eyes would shift to each other's lips, and they would meet eventually. You wrapped your arms around his neck when he had placed a hand to support your back as he leaned in closer, and closer.

“Y/n? Anton? Where are you?” you two would hurriedly stand up from where you were when you heard your grandpa's calls.

You glanced at each other's flushed faces before a flashlight shone right onto your faces.

“Oh, there you are. Well, Anton and his parents will be leaving now.” Your grandpa gave Anton a big smile, signaling with his hands for Anton to come back to the house.

You walked back side by side with your hands latched onto one another. 

You two were met with silent stares when you entered the house with linked hands. You two would let go from each other and Anton would go stand next to his parents.

“We'd like to thank you for the wonderful meal, we really do appreciate it.” Anton's mom shook hands with your grandfather, and would give your mom a hug.

She went up to you and hugged you as well, a little bit longer than you expected. 

————— ୨୧ —————

When you got home, you had asked Anton if you could give him a call since your time earlier was cut short. He immediately said yes and you two would be on facetime again, this time with no books or notebooks, not seated at your desks. You were both just lying on your beds with your phones in hand. 

“Wait, you like me too?” Anton had been asking the same question for the past 6 minutes

“Yes!” you laughed.

He just couldn't believe it. You couldn't believe him either. You've been thinking about it ever since day 1, it was just now when you realized that you did feel the same.

“Are we like g-f and b-f now?” he places a hand over his mouth acting like a shy toddler.

“Ew, don't say it like that!” He ended up laughing too.

“Okay!” his laughter would fall to an abrupt stop and it would go silent for a while that you almost asked him if he was still there. “But seriously, what are we?”

“Well, we feel the same. Couples become couples because of reciprocated feelings. Now put two and two together.” you made little hand gestures as you spoke, and he just smiled, but deep inside he was awestruck, still finding everything unbelievable.

“We're… we're together now holy shit.” you couldn't help a gasp from escaping your mouth. You've never heard him cuss so heavily before, it sounded harmless —well of course, he's Anton— but it was so foreign to you that you just bursted out laughing.

The two of you talked and laughed throughout the night, and when the clock ticked at 12, you two had to say goodbye.

“Good night Tonii.” you yawned, making Anton expel a chuckle. “Can't you stop laughing at everything?”

“I should be the one saying that to you, but anyways, I just think you're so adorable, leave me alone.” his last words were muffled as he hid the bottom half of his face under the covers. “Good night lovely. See you again tomorrow.”

Tomorrow was another day, and a very great one as it turns out. Suddenly you two weren't hiding the fact that you two would hold hands and were always just centimeters away from touching noses. Your friends and Anton's alike didn't seem to be surprised at all, they were more likely relieved that the two of you finally came to a conclusion to what they thought shouldn't take too long. After all, the painfully obvious mutual feelings you shared were so strong that your friends and he would have distorted faces by the end of observing you two. But now, the clock is finally set.

“So you're saying, your grandfather spent almost a half of his life on that flower field, and it would be his final and greatest gift to your grandma?” you hummed an affirmation at Anton's query. “Woah.”

“The commitment made me believe that there is indeed true love.” you said in a very dramatic tone, looking off into the distance. 

“I can do that for you too.” he took great offense from you laughing at his face. “I'm not kidding!”

“I mean, it,'s not that I don't think you can or would, you don't really have to. There's a lot more ways you can express your feelings, my grandpa just happens to be a very hard-working man who appreciates the smallest of the small things in life.” Anton just loved it when you got so immersed with explaining.

“It's love.” he blurts out.

“Yeah. Love.” 

Love drives us to do the unthinkable, the perceptively impossible. Love is complex, but you would know it when you feel it, you would know when you've found it. And it is when love is exchanged unconditionally that life begins to finally be as fulfilling as they claim it to be in books and movies.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

[kedreeva]

Running with the "Steve helps Eddie study for finals" into "Steve quickly discovers that strip-flashcards is not an effective way to get right answers from Eddie" and right into "changing the rules so Eddie has to grab a sharpie and write the right answers down somewhere that he'll remember" and then "I'll remember what part of Steve's skin I wrote this on"

(my inbox is open for ST prompts!)(Previous prompts)

god I remember this discussion lol let's see if I can do it well

------

Steve hasn't done a lot of studying in his life. He didn't need to study to cruise through high school with a solid C average, and he had never planned on needing anything higher than that. He aced a few courses just because they didn't require anything from him, so his GPA was always just a little higher.

But he'd met Nancy partway through, most of the way through if he's being honest, and she had taken notes and made cards and highlighted textbooks. She had played little memory games and made little songs about the things she needed to remember. He tried harder, around her, and even had done a little better.

Which is why when Eddie asks for his help, when he needs to pass two more classes in order to make it out, Steve is all too happy to show him.

Except... Eddie isn't Nancy.

His notes are a mess, completely illegible to anyone that isn't Eddie. He doesn't pay attention to the notecards, and Steve finds him asleep over the textbooks almost every time. He can read an entire Dungeons and Dragons manual cover to cover and parrot back everything inside of it, but he cannot get 2 paragraphs into his history book. Songs almost work, except for the fact that Eddie doesn't know the meaning of singing in his head.

But... Eddie isn't Nancy.

When Steve had suggested Nancy remove articles of clothing for wrong answers, she had balked. She had told him no, and she had meant it.

When Steve suggests Eddie remove articles of clothing for wrong answers, Eddie ends up naked in as many notecards as he has articles of clothing, and the only studying that gets done that night is human anatomy. It only goes slightly better the other way around; he manages to get Steve stripped almost as quickly, and the study session ends.

Steve is at a loss.

Steve is at a loss until he sees Eddie doodling a tattoo idea around his own ankle with a permanent marker.

"Hey," he says. Eddie doesn't have ears like a cat, but the way he doesn't look up, the way his attention shifts with just the slightest twitch of his head, reminds Steve of a cat twitching one ear in acknowledgement. "You have that algebra test monday, right?"

Eddie hums confirmation, and then stops drawing and looks at Steve with a warming smile. "You trying to suggest some flash cards again?"

"Something like that," Steve agrees, and holds out his hand. "Can I see that marker?"

Eddie joins him on the bed and passes him the marker without question. Steve uncaps it, tests it against his skin. It's cold, but not unpleasant, and he doesn't have work the next few days while the store finishes renovations. It could work.

He wriggles out of his shirt, and Eddie's eyes light up in anticipation, but Steve holds out a hand to stop him, marker grasped upright in it. Eddie takes it back with a confused look.

"You have to remember formulas, right?"

Eddie groans. "I've been had!"

Steve rolls his eyes. "You haven't been had. You like leaving marks on me, right?"

"Yeah, with my teeth, Steve," Eddie tells him.

Steve shrugs and sprawls back on Eddie's pillows, arms behind his head. "I don't care how you hold the pen," he says with a shit-eating grin. "But I have a feeling you'll remember the formulas a little better if you're picturing where you've written them on me."

Eddie's breath goes soft, his eyes blinking slowly, and Steve smiles fondly because he knows what Eddie looks like when he loses function for a few seconds. Then Eddie is diving for his math textbook, and a moment later Steve finds himself with a lap full of eager boyfriend.

He scribes his homework onto Steve's skin in ink first and lips second, whispering each one. Steve echoes them, and maybe he actually learns something as well because he knows where Eddie will kiss next by the numbers and letters he recites. He fills in Steve's chest and rolls him over to scrawl all over the lean muscles of his back, down past his ass, onto his thighs.

"Cannot believe you're really going to give me a hard-on for math," he whispers into the soft hollow of Steve's knee, a second before he bites Steve for laughing.

He aces the test on Monday.

[markipliers-madhouse]

Hello? Hello Hello?

...Well, this place has been dead for a little bit, hasn't it?

Mentioned a little bit before on that collab piece I did, but figured I'd be better to do a full post bout it here!

So, this AU...has been laying dormant for quite some time, and there's not really any excuses for that. I've just been a little busy with school and life in general, but mainly...haven't had much motivation to do it in all honesty, and their's two main factors to that unmotivation.

1. I kinda realized I'd be needing to write a lot for this story, and though I love writing in general...the scope of this would be like writing a few novels if I continued on, and I just wouldn't have the time or sanity to do that, but more on that later for a solution...

And 2. ...I kinda fell out of FNaF for a moment. Well- Not entirely, I'll always love this series, but I guess it was mainly...the state of the fandom after one certain game...Security Breach. After that game came out, it kinda broke the fandom in half. One half being those who hate the game and left the franchise entirely, now seeing it as nothing but for kids and not taken seriously, and the other...well, actually kids. Y'know the ones. You know.

So that kinda left me kinda unsure for my AU, since I thought if I put stuff out now...it wouldn't really be that appreciated. From the start it was meant to harken back to the original classics of FNaF, but with the fandom mostly filled with newcomers for just this one game, and the original fans gone and unhopeful for the franchise, I just kinda...left this place dorment till I felt motivated again.

...And then the Ruin DLC happened, which gave me a spark of motivation. Seemed this franchise was starting to to head to a better place, getting some old fans back, so that's nice. Got me thinking more bout this AU again...

And then the movie happened, and now i've been slapped in the face with motivation.

SO- Guess that's my excuse for why things have been so empty, but now...I AM READY TO OFFICIALLY SAY IT IS STARTING BACK UP! And not just that...but starting fresh! ...Which, isn't saying much, since I only wrote two chapters for it...y e a h - But there's a reason I'm starting fresh, not just for improved art or retconing some of the mistakes of what I did give out, but mainly because...

I'm turning the AU into a comic!!

That's right! Gonna be drawing the whole thing start to finish! Figured this would be better to me since it's quicker then writing it all, and get to show and improve more of my art, so works out! (You can already kinda see some of that with the new pfp and header) Maybe might get some help in the future, maybe might dable in some animation, maybe a lot of things, but guess we'll just hafta see where it goes from here!

What does that mean for the previous content though? All...f o u r of it? Well, that stuff is gonna be non-canon from here on out! It'll be easier this way since those stuff have either some continuity errors that'll effect the story in the long wrong, or just simply I've changed my mind on some things and it'll be a bit more different! I'm still leaving them up, however! Just cause I think it'll be fun to see how far I've come, and ey some art pieces there weren't bad! ...Too bad...okay like one or two were d e c e n t

TLDR of it tho is this: AU's getting a reboot, gonna be made into a comic now, previous stuff is non-canon, and this page should be a bit more active now!

But yeah! Big things are coming, and I am excited to start up this AU again! I have so many plans for this story that I'm just hoping you guys will love, wanna do justice to both sides of the story! So keep an eye on this blog, might take a little longer, but hoping to get things officially and finally started soon!

And to prove some of that, before I go...you guys deserve a a bit of a sneak peak of what's to come, so...hope you enjoy these redesigns >:]

EDIT: THE SERIES HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN- READ EM HERE- AH-

[crumchycow]

a get to know you better meme

thanks for the tag @thestrangeillusion

do you make your bed?

Nope never, if something doesn't need to be tidied it will not be tidied, have left a bucket in the middle of my room for 9 months because of this.

what's your favourite number?

Don't have one

what is your job?

Currently just a student I kinda need to get a job but studying and working is a lot for me and acquiring a job is annoying and hard so uethggghhhh

If you could go back to school would you?

Um will I continue studying? Maybe....

can you parallel park?

No

a job you had that would surprise people?

None? Probably the most interesting way I have earned money is the only commission I've ever had, which was my mum commissioning me for her work (kindergarten) because they needed 30 little icon drawings that each kid has at like their bag hook and on their stuff to identify them, she didn't like the person who used to do it because they were weird about it for some reason and the designs were kinda cluttered and ugly so my mum was like my child can draw? Yes! and this way I can be really fussy and specific with it.

(dw she paid me quite well)

do you think aliens are real?

In the sense of any life existing outside of earth? yes 100% would be weird if there isn't. In the sense of complex or intelligent life? probably. In the sense of there are human equivalent creatures that have achieved space travel and are equally or more technologically advanced than us, unlikely but possible. Just thinking about how much time life has existed without humans and how long humans have existed before any ideas of space exploration and the very specific technologies and discoveries that were necessary for space exploration I wouldn't be surprised if we are the only ones. Also just like how incredibly difficult space travel beyond our solar system is I think it's unlikely we will truly know or make contact.

can you drive a manual car?

No :) do not care to learn. fuck cars and driving is boring i only learn to drive because its kinda necessary where i live :( get me good public transport government please

what's your guilty pleasure?

im guilty about alot things like drinking milk, eating too much sugar, spending too much money, doing literally anything i will find a way to feel guilty about it but thats just my general state of being since i was a child and i mostly ignore it or work around it.

I guess in the more traditional sense of things i like that are embarrassing and i wouldnt want people to know, it would be reading fucked up smut. Particularly my fondness for incest ships? Don't know why I suspect it is the codependency. but yeah umm...

Tattoos?

Not yet but I wanna get a spider (not decided which) on my back soon.

favourite colour?

Peach

favourite type of music?

Um I mostly listen to kpop because uh autism? idk, but I genuinely like a lot of music. Some of my favourite music is like objectively awful and difficult to listen to, I think I often like music that is complex and has lots of things.

Some of my favourite artists trying to include multiple genres I like:

Mamamoo

Stray Kids

Taemin

F.T. island

Jeff Satur

S3rl

Enaria

Chopin (I'm learning one of his preludes atm it's v pretty)

Vivaldi

BabyBeard

GHOST (vocaloid producer)

also gregorian chants slap (not christian, vocal harmonies just make me feral)

do you like puzzles?

Yes! I just recently was like y'know what I haven't done in years but suddenly really need to do:

But also just generally like I LOVE maths and figuring out things and patterns and stuff so fun.

any phobias?

Nope

favourite childhood sport?

Um not that into sport, I guess I wanted to play netball when I was like 8 (but that might've just been because that's the thing you do) but I missed the trial periods 2 years in a row but kinda glad I didn't I know multiple people with permanent injuries from playing netball as a kid/teen and my joints are not the most functional in the first place. Do still enjoy playing casually every now and then.

do you talk to yourself?

Yes my favourite hobby, I have the best conversations with myself, will stay up for hours just talking to myself. Also great for preparing for real conversations. I love it when a topic I fully thought about and talked to myself comes up in conversation and it's like fuck yeah gonna ace this one.

what movie(s) do you adore?

Hmmm not the biggest fan of movie as a story format but uh have seen how to train your dragon at least 20 times and I need to watch it again sometime soon, been craving that animal/human enemies to deep emotional connection best buds.

coffee or tea?

Love coffee, but over half of my daily water consumption is through tea (usually multiple kinds)

Would be less alive without tea also its just like so diverse, green tea!black tea! rooibos! masala chai! rosehip! liquorice! peppermint..... camomile! and so much more with sugar! with milk! with honey! or lemon! hot! cold! literally my favourite, shoutout to whoever invented plant in water. Also soup different kind of plant in water but still absolutely banging humans peaked at plant in water best things invented.

and caffeine doesn't affect me like at all? so i only drink these things for taste.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

Idk the first but I know at some stage I wanted to be an author or a marine biologist (why is this so common who put it in our heads? Actually maybe David Attenborough....) probably the first was an animal or something

egh its rambly and may not make sense but whatever, also revealing any information about myself on the internet scares me even though literally nobody could do anything with this information like guys pls dont dox me through knowing my mum is a kindergarten teacher

tagging @gaylittlepieceofsh1t @mousydentist @mr-bazongos @wildelydawn @thestarscanalwayslookatus @fiddlepickdouglas @ae-azile and any one who wants to, no pressure tho <333

[shesasurvivor]

What's your headcanon for Katniss and Peeta's children?

How old was Katniss when give birth to their daughter?

How many years apart between them in age?

Your headcanon for their name?

Who gets the singing and art skill from their parent?

Bonus question : please give recs of your fav everlark post-Mockingjay fanfic.

Thank you :)

@curiousthg

So many, @curiousthg! One I'm kind of into, though I'm not really sold on it being my actual, solidified head canon, is the idea that the girl was an unplanned pregnancy that took Katniss (and Peeta) by surprise. Finding out she was pregnant sent Katniss through a whole spiral of emotions that she wrestled with before ultimately deciding she wanted to keep the baby.

I've always placed Katniss as being somewhere around 35 before she had her first child. I give them a couple of years to sort through everything they've been through and figure out their relationship before the subject comes up in earnest for them. That places them around 20 years old when the first conversation comes up, and 15 years later, she's 35.

Well, Katniss tells us that the boy is a toddler, and that the girl is old enough not only to be in school, but to be in a grade that would begin teaching her about The Hunger Games. So I want to say maybe somewhere between 5 and 7 years between them? Sometimes I head canon that the 10 in "5, 10, 15 years" is the girl's birth, and the 15 is the boy's birth. But again, not entirely sold on that idea at all. But yeah, I'd say at least 5 years between them.

I like to follow the naming conventions that Suzanne Collins set in place. For the District 12 girls (at least in the original trilogy), she used a lot of flower names. This is especially the case with the Everdeen family. Yellow blossoms are especially pertinent to Everlark's future family (why I named my short-lived Everlark children series that name). Also, the meadow song is especially important, since it foreshadowed that Katniss and Peeta would one day have children together. As such, I've decided that their daughter's name is Daisy Mellark.

As for the boy, I've never been quite as solid on my choice of name for him, but I usually go with Orion. I like that it ties into mythology (even though it's Greek, not Roman), he was a hunter that is usually associated with Artemis, and I'm drawing a blank on this one, but I seem to remember there being a connection with fire. But the cherry on top? 'Orion' can be shortened to 'Ri,' which, of course, would be pronounced as Rye. ;) All that said and all these years later, I'm still not sold on the name for their son lol.

I always thought that their daughter was probably the more artistic one between the two, and liked to give their son the inclination for hunting. But honestly? They're probably both talented at both their parents' specialties, and it's probably more likely one tends to lean more towards art and one more towards hunting. As for singing, I think it's pretty clear that having a good singing voice seems to run in the Everdeen family, so I think both children would probably have equally good singing voices.

And man, it has been way, WAY too long since I've read any fics about the Mellark kids, and I don't know that I could even remember any at this point! So here's the link to my own mentioned above, lol. (That said, I know there's TONS out there that are amazing! I just haven't had my head in the fandom for a while.)

Yellow Blossoms

[oliveisinhell]

Dear Diary, October 4 2024

Song of the day: Loving Machine

I visited Yves and Alex today. They live off campus so I had to drive a little bit. We played some Mario Kart and had some drinks. I like hanging out with them. They've been together forever and it's nice to spend time around that. It almost makes me envious...

I haven't had the best track record with dating, honestly. I can't count all my exes on one hand. High school sucked, basically. And so does college. Starting to think I'm incapable of being loved like that but that's a conversation for when I start doing therapy,,

Today I learned one of my classmates is a vtuber. Or pngtuber, I can't remember. Those two things overlap a lot in my mind, so,, yeah. She's in my compsci class, I think people were asking me about her, Lily. She's nice, I've known her since middle school. It didn't really come as a shock, she's always been super into anime and that kind of stuff. She draws a lot too. I think she said something about wanting to start doing animation too, which would be neat

As for me? I'm doing okay, I think.. I don't know why but I've been feeling kind of tense recently. Probably just stress from balancing work and school. I kind of want to quit my job but I need to pay for college somehow, so.. bleh.

That's all. I love you, Diary.

[koiyin]

GUYS GUESS WHO'S BACK... 'YAY'

so uh idk why i come back on tumblr every couple months and make posts like this but i've basically ruined my account at this point haha perfectionist issues and i'm going to try to be honest with everyone of you guys because. idek at this point

i don't know how everyone's opinion of me is at this point, and it feels like i'm ruining it. i don't know if this is me now, if i kind of put up a front before, but why these posts seem different than the others on my blog is a mystery to me ^^'

maybe i'm just overthinking it, though?

well, my life is pretty shit. i don't really have any friends, except for a couple close ones who can somehow deal with me-- and, yeah. people at my school don't really like me, and i've fucked up a lot recently. this post sounds really depressing. sorry for that.

i don't know, i guess prior to the whole incident (moots, yk what i'm talking about) i always tried to put up a cheerful front. i had an idealized version of myself, and that was koi. and i did act like myself a lot around you guys, because i became comfortable with all of you and i felt accepted. i'm really grateful for what you all have done for me.

so, more about what's going on- basically, i'm just... not happy with myself, i guess. i wish i had more friends.

you know, my goal in life at one point was to be friends with everyone in my grade. that was more than a year ago. i guess that whole hope pretty much died out. but i do still try my very best, and this is turning into a ramble which i'm sorry for but i just want to get everything off of my chest.

i'll probably never use tumblr regularly again- but, who knows, shit changes.

the incident really affected me. after i was told about everything and learned about all of what happened, i was just... i don't know. i was told that it was that day that i began to eat less, act angrier, and all of that shit- and that went on for a couple weeks.

eventually, i tried to forget about it. i still think about every once in a while, though.

well, i'm starting to sound like a pessimist. i miss when i could be koi, the friendly, cheerful, happy person who had a bunch of friends that worried about him and asked if he was feeling okay.

i don't even know what's going on anymore. i feel fine, and then i go through short spikes of depression. or maybe i'm just a person that's sad all the time, but i choose to be ignorant. i'm really sorry that whoever reads this has to hear me vent and all that shit, but i'm just glad that i can say all of my feelings in the hopes that someone will read this.

so, let's talk about what's been going on since i've left- since i really feel like i should add some filler because of my long absensce '- -

well, i got a suit that kind of reminded me of haruchiyo sanzu from tokyo revengers (haha weeb things) and i look pretty hot in it, ngl- and, my family moved back to our house, which got remodeled. i've done a lot of drawing, too.

and, for context of the tokyo revengers comment earlier- i've been hyperfixating on it for so long. i love the series and the characters aaa

also, i started bakuman and black butler, and they're pretty good! i love the plot of bakuman so much!! (the death note team always makes amazing manga) i also got the first book of haikyuu from the library, because i've seen it referenced online so much and i haven't taken the time to check it out yet.

whew. i don't know, i guess saying all this makes me sound more human than just pixels on a screen. (but i'm actually 3 ducks in a trenchcoat) (i'm not funny)

i've had a lot of homework, so i've been pretty busy.

and i have to go eat dinner now, so i'll be leaving- but again, thank you guys for being my friends for so long. and, why are people still following me when my blog is inactive like- ????

[natostine]

okay @kohakhearts I just used the generator so this is the crack fic you received

fic under the cut

Slade gets a lot of weird contracts. Part of being the Best in the Biz™ is that all the absolutely insane shit that the small fries can't handle gets sent to him—and the shit the small fries can't handle is either way above their paygrade (re: sometimes he gets paid to murder actual gods) or it's just too weird to be taken seriously by those who haven't been around long enough.

Not Slade tho. Slade has seen some shit. Done some shit too, but that's neither here nor there. The point is that that only Slade could be contracted to murder—checks notes—possessed, killer animatronic robots for a childrens pizza joint.

He cannot make this shit up.

But the pay is good, and destroying a robot cant be that different from killing a live target, and he's bored as hell because he hasn't been able to torment a teenager or his kids in a while, so why not?

The pizza joint, Freddy Faxbears Pizza, is downright grody. Is this place still operable? It shouldnt be if it is. It's a walking healthcode violation, and that's not even including the murderbots he's about to turn into murderedbots.

Slade draws his sword and starts sweeping the place. He had to access Freddy's from a skylight in the office, which, according to his blueprints, is furthest from the stage rooms where the animatronics should be, provided they're not wondering around. The office itself is clear, so he moves into the hallway, checks the closet, and then heads into the kitchen.

The kitchen is where things get a little dicey though.

He follows his normal sweeping procedure, but when he walks past one of the counters, he notices a strange book on the counter.

Death Note, it's titled, no author listed.

Idly, Slade picks it up, wondering if maybe there's some intel in it that could be useful. Instead, he finds a long list of overly complicated middle school burn book type instructions.

“Useless,” he mutters and tosses it over his shoulder and onto the ground.

“Well that's rude,” someone says behind him.

Before they can even finish the sentence, he's swinging his sword sword sword, his (not)diamond sword directly at the figure—

Only for his sword to go right through.

“Motherfucking ghosts and shit,” he curses and swings again.

“Now, hey, that's not nice :(“ the goth ghost says. He seems very unperturbed by the whole thing.

“Didn't try to cut your head off to make friends,” Slade points out and tries swinging again. Every strike just goes straight through this guy though. Nothing at all like the animatronics he was contracted to kill.

Probably for the best actually that this thing isn't one of the attractions. It's an absolute horror show.

“You're not what I'm here for,” he moves to go around the thing.

“Hey wait!” it shouts. “You forgor your notebook!”

Slade glances back at the selfproclaimed Death Note, then hefts his sword up so the monster can see it clearly. “Don't need it.”

“B-b-b-b-but—”

Slade doesn’t stick around to listen.

After the kitchen is more hallway. He gets, like, two steps in that fucked up ghost guy materializes through the wall and in his way. “Listen buddy,” it grumbles even as it's face stays pulled in that rigour mortis grin. “You're the first human to actually go through the building in a long time. Do you have any idea how long I've been stuck here?” he shouts.

“Don't care,” he steps around the creature again.

The thing grumbles and follows behind with its massive wings. “You're a killer, yeah? I can tell. I'm a shinigami. Well that notebook will let you kill with nothing but a name and face! Think about it! You could get your jobs done in a fraction of the time!”

Just then, a giant, robot chicken lurches from around the corner with thundering steps. Slade casts the shinigami a look, then calmly asks, “Hey, what's your name?”

The chicken does not respond. Slade holds out his sword and lets it run into it, then disembowel its metal guts.

It falls to the ground easily.

The next three robots go much the same, and not a single one offers up its name.

“There. I dont need your notebook,” he says smugly and saunters towards the exit.

“I'll admit, that was entertaining,” the shinigami says. Slade gets the impression the creature is grinning even wider somehow.

“Happy to help,” he says sarcastically. He reaches the front door and tries to open it, but nothing happens. “Weird.” He turns to go back through the building to use the skylight again.

“Wait, you forgot the notebook!” the shinigami protests as Slade pulls the desk under the light. “Even if you dont use it for killing, you can use it to extort others, or manipulate their every move prior to their death! You could sell it even!”

That…could be useful, he supposes, but it also takes all the fun out of murdering and tormenting. “Eh, I'll pass.”

The shinigami growls like a feral dog. “Fine!” he yells and pulls out his own notebook. “This is the end of you, Slade Wilson!”

“That wont work on me,” Slade points out. He hops on top the desk.

“What?” he yells. “Why not?”

Slade shrugs. “I once came back from the dead because I caught leprosy post-mortem, and this place is a massive healthcode violation. I'll just heal again.”

Then Slade pulls himself out the window before the shinigami realizes that that shit doesn't apply once he's out of the building.

[multitrackdrifting]

your stuff makes me want to make stuff too. i don't even know what i want to make but i want to just do something and post it because i can! it's the joy of just making stuff because we're people and people make stuff. sometimes things in life aren't about money or popularity. wish more people understood that about life

readmore just bc its a long response

yeah i'm kinda at the point where like yeah sure i can get a bag working really hard and never having free time, but nothing makes me feel like a zombie more than working 50 hrs a week plus 15 hours commute total and then just having [good] money and no time to express myself creatively or do anything i feel happy with. its common in a lot of different sectors, but i digress

i just want to make something i feel proud of - lot of people can find that in being super successful and others being envious of how much they make, what car they drive and all this other stuff and its like i don't want to be part of this rat race - i want to convey something i felt was important at some point in my life

i have really bad adhd, i've had it my whole life basically but i only sort of overcame the stigma fairly recently (for myself, not others) and started getting help and all that but before that, I started these videos as a matter of ethic back in july of '22. i made a joke post just saying "thinking abt becoming a video essay guy" thats floating around here with a few thousand notes, then i just did it. I thought to myself that if I can make one video every two weeks then I can beat this thing, while I can actually do that, coming home and having three hours free and hten spending 2.5h staring at a wall was getting a bit unsustainable so after a while i had to deal with that BUT

the fulfilment I get out of making something I feel proud of even if it's not 100% true to my vision, it's better than anything I ever learned in multiple college degrees, or even my job. as a kid i planned to be an artist ( i used to draw and everything), but i just became really disillusioned over time with my own skills and didn't put in the ethic to overcome that feeling. making videos is something i've always done since a lot of my popular edits still get reposted to twitter a lot, but making one that was just about something i'm trying to convey is new. i haven't been a writer for long but i've always been good at public speaking, so i figure, why not combine that untapped skillset and combine them together which brings me to where i am now.

of course, there's this tug of war that's like "liking your job is a privilege" and it is, i agree, but that doesn't mean i should feel miserable at work for the rest of my life - and making stuff im passionate about in a video makes me happier than doing a good job for a client even if i work really hard at that too.

if i can make one person happier with my videos and the only person is me, then i know i already achieved my goal by doing right by myself - that is basically how i try to live. i'm surrounded by plenty of amazing and hardworking people, their ethic and efforts make me want to make stuff all the time too.

you're right anon, people like to make stuff - i guess that's why life feels kind of whack after art class stops being mandatory in school. took it until 10th grade then stacked everything into science and math (clueless).

[evelhak]

Long personal rambling ahead, you've been warned.

I had a weird day walking around my high school city, it almost literally felt like going back in time, since it's been a long time since I walked in the places I used to, I've driven through it and gone to specific places but not like... wandering around the spots I used to spend time in as a teen. I was so surprised the corner of the book shop that I used to hide in was still there. It was always enough out of view so that I could browse books as much as I liked and sit there for hours without anyone noticing or asking anything.

Also I realized the spot at the mall where I cried my eyes out when I didn't get into a musical was exactly the same it was 12 years ago. It made me quite reflective and it got me thinking about my worst and best high school memories which now made me want to share one specific story... Because I've obviously mentioned many times already that I relate to Kuroko deeply, but I haven't really explained why. Not that people would necessarily even be interested, but my blog is like a weird diary anyway, so I'm just gonna tell this memory. Maybe someone will vibe with it.

It started with that musical. It was one of the things why I had chosen my high school (the other was to get a place at a Japan exchange, which I did succeed at) but yeah, I didn't get a role. I was told my presence was "too sensitive" like I wouldn't be able to fill the stage, be expressive enough and draw attention. It was totally fair by the way, but devastating to me at that age, because acting was something I had a real fixation about, and it wasn't even something I had long-term plans for, I had just got it in my head that it was something I needed to check out of my bucket list, no matter what, I wouldn't have peace unless I was in a "real" play once.

So, yeah, I did cry my eyes out because I had tried really hard and wanted it a lot, but after I stopped crying, the teacher's words just made me want to prove they were wrong. So, I decided to do a theater diploma with my friends instead, and the biggest part of it was to write, direct and act a play which would be publically performed. I was already a writer so that role eventually fell to me, which I was only happy about. We had already decided to do a murder mystery which I was so psyched about since I was in my most intense Sherlock obsession at the time. Anyway, I got this idea that since I could write my own role I could make it about my so-called weakness, actually I could write it in a way that the role could only be performed by someone like me who didn't stand out much.

No one had especially wanted to be the detective, so that was going to be my role, and then I figured I should have two detectives solving the same case. The other one would be a distraction to lead the audience astray. He would be loud, aggressive and boisterous and the narrative would support the assumption that he was the main character. His name was Mr. Forrest. And he was played by our most charismatic and talented actor. So while this flamboyant detective would be thinking out loud, explicitly solving the case, and engaging the audience, my character, Cherry, would be working in the background and having her own differing opinions, but they would be seemingly debunked by the other detective or the suspects, and the audience would think Cherry was too boring of a character to be important, since she was mostly just organizing stuff in the background (but of course all of those things were actually clues to the case) However, Mr. Forrest would eventually turn out to have been fooled by one of the suspects, the murderer, because he was attracted to her (because I was a faithful Sherlockian) and unbiased Cherry would solve the case.

I feel like this kind of thinking perfectly illustrates why I'm a writer, not an actor, heh...

But anyway, it worked really well, the audience was never able to see through the bluff, as far as I know. (Maybe once would have been nice, that would have proved my clues as coherent if you paid enough attention but oh well.) I can't pretend my favourite part wasn't when my character finally got the spotlight at the end and I got to explain how the murder was commited and expose the murderer. I think my favourite line was from Mr. Forrest, when Cherry would pull out a flipboard on which I had sketched a drawing of how the murder was done and Mr. Forrest would say: "So, you decided to pass the time by doodling a little for your own amusement? Ridiculous!" (Probably I found it so good because the actor nailed the tone.) And then of course Cherry would basically hand his ass to him when it came to solving the crime.

One of the others also had a habit of telling the audience after the applause that no one should ever make me mad because I would have been a good murderer. I guess that was funny, definitely stroked my ego a little.

I really had the best time in high school with that group. I'll never forget how in sync I was with the girl who played Mr. Forrest. I haven't done a lot of acting, but I have done a lot of dancing so I do know something about chemistry on stage and to this day I don't think I encountered anyone who I had it better with. It felt like magic honestly. She had trouble remembering lines sometimes and every time it happened she would instinctively look at me, and then I would always be able to make her look at an object that made her remember the next line. I was usually good with remembering, but on one occasion I forgot to say one tiny sentence that was key to the mystery, without it the next parts wouldn't make any sense, but the moment was already gone, and then Mr. Forrest's actor totally saved my ass by coming up with a new impro section to one of the character's monologues on the spot, and it covered up my mistake completely. I was really impressed by that because it required so much thinking in mere seconds to spontaneously add a whole new section to the story, but that just showed how in the moment she was. We weren't normally the closest personal friends (honestly she barely remembered I existed before we started working on the play even though we did hang out in the same circle) but on stage it was like we had one brain for a moment. I really wish I would get to experience that again some day.

Anyway, I feel like this also illustrates some specific things in an analogous manner about why I feel about KnB so deeply and relate to Kuroko. Isn't it funny how this memory is about acting on stage, since that's an analogy in KnB? Sure, this is just one memory but also one that doesn't feel too personal to share, so in case anyone was curious about why I relate to Kuroko I think this is a pretty good example because it covers a few key things, I think.

Also I just like to think about these happy times, so this was a good excuse to go back there. I'm always going to love that darkness of the stage and the magical feeling it brings and how many things performative art forms can do. Even as amateurs I think we impressed people quite a lot.

Anyway... If you read this far I hope it was at least mildly entertaining.

Haha, I actually saw one of my old friends from this play today, when I completely accidentally went to a store she was working in. Hadn't seen her in at least five years. She played a suspect who was an artist with about three brain cells.

Anyway, enough rambling, good night.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

I don’t like where this is going!

An Email? Sorry I've been pre-occupied with the funeral I didn't get to look at it.

Yeah same here, pretty busy with the fashion trends and I usually get a lot of emails so I didn't get to look.

I did read it, sounds more like one of those underground journalist that or a cult, I rather stay out of it.

I don't go on the computer as often so I didn't see that email, sorry...

Sorry didn't read them, besides as a mangaka I don't read mails like those because they waste time for me to not draw manga!

I did check but it had this link to a location; my husband felt it wasn't safe to go there so I didn't.

I'm... not very good with computers and neither is Emi, so I decided to delete it.

Hey... Tenmei? You good with this computer stuff, yeah? Can you tell us more about what's going on?

...

...

Hey... why are you guys so quiet? Is it bad?

...Well, the thing is that it wasn't just me, my wife and daughter but our whole family got this email even my own parents who I haven't talk with in a decade; it linked to a location which Harumi decided to check.

Yeah, I did go and went to see what was going on and seems there were other people there too which I did sneak into the back and well...

*shows a photo* I found this...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Whoa, what... what are those things?

Looks to be helmets but what do they do?

I'm not sure, all I know is that they gave these helmets to those that enter, along with some food and drinks and handed them a disc, I didn't stick around for too long so I'm not sure what they...

Yeah, if anything it sounds like it's one of those cults that trick people into signing things and lose everything, I would recommend you all to delete the email if you can.

But what about the 'truth of Hope's Peak' thing? Are you saying that those guys are lying...?

N-No, I'm not saying that; all I'm saying is that this is far too convenient and I think it's better we stay away from there.

Stay away?! But the email, it's... it could be talking about stuff the school as hid for decades, don't tell me your trying to protect it Tenmei?!

Hitoshi... don't start, we are at a funeral...

Ye-Yeah we shouldn't be fighting like this - what would Ichiro and Yuka would say...

But they decide and I wouldn't be surprise if Hope's Peak had something to do with it! I mean seriously, the school has done a bunch of shit and your trying to cover for them Tenmei!

Wh-What?! Hitoshi, I'm not doing that - all I'm saying is to stay away!

*pulls Hitoshi away* Hitoshi enough, don't start this especially with your kid here!

Le-Let go of me! Tenmei, your just trying to hide crap I know it!

Da-Dad calm down!

[poltergeist-coffee]

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY

I hope you had a great day:D

I will finish that drawing, I WILL EVEN IF THAT'S THE LAST THING I DO

I don't have much to say right now but I hope everything is okay with you

And uh... remember when people were talking about the sins and making theories about it when the purgatory was announced ?

Maybe they were right

THEY POSTED A IMAGE OF QUACKITY WITH TILIN AND RICHAS AND JUST A TEXT THAT SAID "step II: envy" or something

I mean, you probably saw but I'm losing my mind

Why is Richas and Tilin there, don't hurt my babies PLEASE

But that Quackity's live in the Nether... man, Tilin just dropped the hardest lines that day

"You told me about paradise

But this is HELL

There is no paradise

Not for you"

I just noticed that with new eggs, it means I have more eggs to add to the list to make a desing

Not that I care because I already love them<3

I just have to find time to draw them

I don't know why they won't wear amour(or so I heard), but FOREVER COME BACK, WE NEED YOU TO MAKE THEM ROOMS IN THE NINHO

I CAN'T WATCH THEM DIE

At least they have two lives... right?(<- trying not to remember how 3 of the eggs died on the first days)

But uh... Yeah, EMPANA SAID SHE SPEAKS GERMAN AND NIKI IS GERMAN, RIGHT?

YEAAAAAH

I love Empanada so much

I'm glad Niki got a egg, I don't watch her a lot, but I did watch some of her content before the qsmp and I think she's great

She has a calm voice that is nice to hear

- 🍽

THANK YOOOUUUU ^W^ <33

i hope you're doing well too :DD hopefully school/finals haven't been too bad for you. My finals exam week is coming up soon TT in like a week or two...

i wasn't able to watch the Quackity live but i saw some people talk about it on twitter!! I saw people theorize that maybe Richas is greed? or some other sin but a lot of people agreed that Tilin is envy!! i also saw people saying that q!quackity must be dying/in a hospital bed and he's like... dreaming of tilin and richas when he was in the nether

i recently finished my egg designs for the newest kids >:DD i should probably post them...at some point... but i am shy sdajvnaksj i've loved seeing everyones different interpertatoins for the breakfast trio's designs :")) (i saw people refer to Em, Sunny and Pepito as the Breakfast Trio which i think is the cutest fucking thing ever TT)

NIKI IS SUCH A SWEETHEART >< I was so happy to see her get announced to be on the qsmp and seeing everyone love her so much :")) i don't watch her often but i love seeing people post about her. i hope that she gets to talk with Empanada in German a lot- and Chayanne!! I know chayanne can also speak german (at least one of his admins can? i'm not sure if he has a permenent admin now or if he's still being controlled by a few different ones....)

[beaversatemygrandma]

WHERE THE FUCK DID FEBRUARY GO? WASN'T THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLE MONTH HERE? Shit's coming up fast, oh god.

So, i have an appointment for my driver's test in March, and essentially through this entire month i was like "finish the log. finish it. write things in. do it." I got to 37 hours of 60. Oi. And then the fact that i literally CANNOT drive at night in this area. Between the light pollution of the city, those HUGE LED billboards that light up half the highway, and those new cars with retina burning headlights, I've literally struggled to keep my eyes adjusted to the night and nearly missed a fucking stoplight. I need 10 night hours. I have done 1 and realized it was pointless. I think i can back home though. Smaller town. Less light pollution. I mean, i know I've actually driven the right amount by now, but i haven't been writing that shit down. Even my dad was like "you're ready, just fuck the log" and i was like "okay, cool" I need to grab another page (WHY DOES IT HAVE SO FEW SPACES FOR 60 HOURS???) and draw out the things and fill it in and then get my grandma and my dad's IDs and fill in ALL THE ID NUMBERS, get them to sign EVERY Single ONE. Hnngg. Then reminding my dad to take that day off to take me there. Like i've told him, but this is the man i definitely got my adhd from. Likely forgot by now. It's been like 3 months since i made the appointment (earliest one too. tf.)

And then the whole anxiety of all the plans I've made. Like, after getting my license i was going to prepare myself to move back to FL to be with my mom and around all my friends and such.

Like. I'm basically long distance dating this guy by now. We literally have plans set, just without date. Because I could either be there in April or i could be there mid summer or later, which is infuriating. Ntm the fact that my money is VERY Quickly dwindling. Like, it'll cost a couple hundred just in gas to get there. I'm already down to less than my car insurance payment that will go through in June. I was hoping I could get down there, get that job, etc etc, THEN pay it off. Because here, I'd be working in a place for like a month and then ditching. That's not ideal. So, I'm hoping my dad will help me pay for things in that aspect because holy fuck. I also really need to change my bank because after it got bought out, the new company was like "K. If you have less than $500 average in your checking you pay $8 a month for use." Like WHAT THE FUCK?? And THEN that fucking FYE VIP Charge that I DID NOT sign up for taking another $12 a month. I literally went through their customer service, they couldn't find my info, yet I'm Being Charged for something i DIDNT SIGN UP FOR. And well, a bank/card change would get rid of BOTH shitty little predatory charges here.

I've literally been going between those online banking services checking to see what's the best, because this bank charges me, cut my interest on my savings down like 95%, and is just inconvenient all together. Like, my dad has one, if i sign up with his code we both get $50, THEN the long distance guy has another where you get $100 if you get the banking thing AND a credit card with them for both parties. And I'm just here like "Oh god. Choices."

And then this guy. So, yeah, it has escalated a bit. He's the sweetest damn thing but every night it just somehow turns into, "I can't wait for us to finally be together" and me just thinking like "fuck if this doesn't work out right...." Like it has turned from me saying "why tf am i feeling things for that weird guy from high school? Bet I'm just lonely" to being like "Yep. I've definitely fallen for him." He's sweet, he's passionate, he's safe, and he's just great. He definitely cares a lot. There's something about the way he's outright trying to make sure I'm in a good place mentally and getting what i need to done and just being encouraging and a great company. Like yeah, half the motivation for getting things done lately is just making sure i can make it down there to stop this from being long distance. There's somebody down there who genuinely wants to be that person to just exist at home with and go on adventures about town with. Just somebody to have around for literally anything. Like. I CAME OUT TO HIM. He didn't even dodge the topic like my last ex did. It wasn't this awkward thing, it was just "as long as this makes you happy" and just jeez <3

then the worry about being with my mom again because FL rent is a waking nightmare. Like yeah, I'm going to get shit about my weight a lot and still have to pay HER rent, but i mean, it's better than being in this hellscape that is a metropolis and nearby people i like and trust. and not the constant hostility between people out here. I've come to the conclusion that people in cities are just awful and so stuck in their lives of nothing but work and the hell that is this place with no escape which has made them into what they are now. At no fault of their own, but they're all selfish assholes. Like everybody is struggling and packed in like sardines. Of course we're all on edge. But FUCK, be NICE to others for the love of god. We're all in the same cement hell.

I want peace, and peace is a place i know well. I want to be back home already and not panicking about all this shit and slowly going broke due to predatory capitalism. I want to be with that guy. I want to have my friends just ten minutes away. I want to be back in this familiar town i know like the back of my hand instead of this cement labyrinth of highways and skyscrapers. I'll settle for my old Panera job for a while. I just want something familiar that isn't this. I want peace again and a place that's loud and hostile isn't peace.