#yeah i'm tipsy as fuck lmao

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

why is the closest adjective to moose "cervine," like come ON, isn't there one that means ONLY MOOSE-INE????

[kikidoul]

── REALISATION OF FEELINGS.

໒꒰ྀི ^ ⸝⸝ ^ ꒱ྀིა 심재윤 x fem! reader content enemies to lovers non-idol au college/university au ᥫ᭡ warning explicit sexual content protected sex (pls do it wrapped up) service dom! jake (i think) consent because that's hot of jake pussy eating squirting usage of petnames reader's not a virgin. . . !? 2330 — mlist. | req

note. first time writing jake.. kinda nervous.. hopefully this is readable because i wrote this at work LMAO. ending is kinda ass because i don't want to drag this out so yeah.. can you tell i'm bad at titles too </3 taglist. @tfwbluu

“What the fuck? Why is he here?” You scowled, narrowing your eyes with nothing but disgust written all over your face. 

Your eyes followed a certain figure, watching as he smoothly moved through the crowd that parted for him. You scoffed as he greeted his group of friends while resting his hand on a random girl’s waist. Your grip on the plastic red cup tightened slightly and you would’ve crushed it if your friend didn’t snatch it out of your hand. 

“Stop glaring at him. Just ignore him and enjoy the night,” she said, nudging your elbow, dragging you away and further into the large crowd. You remained oblivious to how a pair of eyes followed your retreating figure, until you were out of his sight. 

Great, now what?

You sighed when you realized that your friend had ditched you for a one-night stand, leaving you stranded and alone at the party. You didn’t have a driver’s license, which means you couldn’t go home by yourself, especially when you were slightly tipsy, but were still able to hold your own ground. Unable to tolerate another second of standing in the crowded living room, you stepped out of the mansion—intending to get fresh air. 

Only for you to groan when you see someone there before you. He turned at the sound of approaching footsteps, expression matching yours when his eyes landed on you. 

“I didn’t expect to see someone like you coming to these kinds of places,” Jake said, downing the remains of his drink in one go, easily crushing the paper cup with his fingers. 

“Shut up, you don’t know anything about me,” you snapped, crossing your arms as you stopped beside him. 

Jake glanced at you from the corner of his eyes, noting how the dress you wore was sleeveless and how you shivered as a gust of wind blew past you. Sighing, he removed his jacket and placed it over your shoulders. You flinched, turning to him with wide eyes. You were about to pull it off but he stopped you, resting a hand above yours. Somehow, his hand was warm and a part of you is tempted to lean forward. 

“Don’t, you can wear it for tonight. Wouldn’t want you to freeze to death,” he murmured, an unreadable expression on his face as he takes in your features. You caught the way his eyes trailed down, only for them to darken when they landed on your parted, glossy lips. 

You weren’t sure what made you gain the courage to make the first move. Maybe it was due to the shitty alcohol you drank. Maybe it was how Jake was constantly on your mind, no matter where you were or what you were doing. A sly grin tugged your lips upward and Jake gulped as you leaned in, invading his personal space. His senses were engulfed with the strong fragrance of your perfume—rose and vanilla. It’s sweet, just like you. 

“Is that so? But, I have another idea on how I won’t freeze to death,” you whispered and if there’s one thing about Jake, it’s that he never backs down from a challenge. 

Grinning, he boldly wrapped one arm around your waist, pulling you close until your chests were pressed against one another. He savored the startled gasp you let out at his action, craving for more. 

“Yeah? And what do you have in mind, pretty girl? You're gonna tell me or what?” He coos, leaning in to brush his plump lips against your neck, inhaling a whiff of your perfume. 

You tilted your head back, granting him access to the rest of your neck and Jake accepted the invitation without hesitation. “Jake…” You breathed out, and the way you said his name made his mind spin, sending heat straight down to his pants that tightened. 

“Fuck, your place or mine?” He asks, barely clinging onto his rapidly decreasing self-restraint. 

“Mine’s far from here,” you replied, and he nodded. 

“Alright, then let’s go to my house. It’s not far.”

~ 

You weren’t granted a chance to admire the interior of his house, for you were being pushed up against the nearest wall the moment the door closed. The kiss was filthy, messy and intense. You parted your lips, knees threatening to buckle as Jake explored your cavern with one, thorough lick. He swallowed the muffled sounds you made with his lips, drinking them in like he was your loyal worshipper. 

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he tapped your thighs twice. Without exchanging a word, you jumped and Jake effortlessly carried you, bringing you to the bedroom without breaking the kiss. You were placed on the sheets with him hovering over you and you had to pull away, your lungs screaming at the lack of oxygen. 

Jake couldn’t tear his eyes away from the breathtaking sight before him. Your hair was spread out like a halo, making you look like an angel that descended from heaven. Your lips were swollen and red. Your eyes were slightly dazed, the straps of your dress falling down your shoulders. 

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered in awe, mostly to himself but your ears registered his words. 

His words made your heart skip a beat and you weren’t sure why. But you didn’t think much about it when he leaned down, trailing butterfly kisses along the expanse of your unblemished neck. You sighed, eyelids fluttering close as he licked, sucked and bit on your skin, leaving hickeys behind. His hands busied themselves by wandering along your body, tracing your silhouette through the fabric of your dress. Eventually, he reached his limit and hovered them over the straps. 

“Can I?” He asks. 

You nodded but Jake wasn’t pleased. “Use your words, princess. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Careful, you being thoughtful might make me fall for you,” you teased, ignoring how your heart was practically pounding against your chest at his words. 

Jake merely rolled his eyes. “I’m serious, (Name). Use your words and tell me, or I’m stopping.” 

“Fine, go ahead, Jake,” you chuckled, giving him the green light. 

With permission granted, he tugged the straps and dress down, tossing it to the floor without a care. For the second time, Jake found himself staring at you, unable to tear his eyes away from how alluring you looked, wearing nothing but a matching set of black, lacy lingerie that leaves nothing to one’s imagination. If it was possible, his pants tightened and he swore he felt his cock twitched in the constraints of his pants—begging to be freed. 

“You’re staring,” you mumbled, cheeks flushed red at how intense his gaze was. 

“Can’t help it. You’re too beautiful to not stare,” he sighed, sounding as if he was blessed by a God. 

You gulped, watching as he removed his shirt and shifted down, spreading your legs so he could be in between them. You grabbed a pillow, placing it under your hips to support yourself. Your breath involuntarily hitched in your throat, watching as Jake kissed your thighs, moving up slowly until he reached where your clit was throbbing with need. You whined as he hooked his fingers along the thin fabric of your panties, tugging it to the side to reveal your clit. 

“Even your pussy’s pretty,” he breathed out, tracing the bud poking out with his finger. 

You mewled, hips instinctively jerking forward, wanting more but Jake withdrew his finger, eliciting a disappointed whine of protest from you. “Jake, please!” 

“Please what, princess? Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you,” he grins, knowing he has you wrapped around his finger. 

“Please touch me,” you begged, lips curling downwards in a pout. 

“Oh? But I am touching you. You need to be more specific than that,” he teases, fingers grazing the area near your clit, chuckling at how you tried to get him to touch your clit instead. 

“Want your mouth….on me,” you muttered, eyes squeezed shut with embarrassment at the words. Thankfully, Jake was satisfied. He didn’t bother removing your panties, further tugging it to the side and dived in. 

“Oh fuck!” You cried out, back arching off the bed as he flatten his tongue to lick your clit. Jake glanced up, taking note of the blissed-out expression on your face. With the determination to drive you insane, he parted your puffy folds with his free hand, sliding his tongue in to lick your gummy walls. 

“Oh—hah, Jae-Jaeyun—fuck,” you moaned, grinding your hips along his tongue, making you looked as if you were riding his face. His bedroom was filled with the loud, lewd sounds of him eating you out, blending in with your shameless moans. 

Your stomach tightened and your legs twitched, feeling your climax approaching rapidly. You tried to warn him but all it took was one skillful flick of your bud with his tongue to push you over the edge. Your body shook with the intensity of your orgasm, nails digging into the sheets. You were trying to catch your breath when your ears picked up the sounds of unzipping followed by rustling of clothes.

You gulped when you saw Jake freed his poor, neglected and forgotten cock from his pants. The tip had turned a dark shade of purplish-red—due to the lack of attention. You tried to close your legs, feeling your clit pulsated at the thought of him entering you. 

“Like what you see?”  He smirks at your staring and silence, wrapping his long, slender fingers around his cock to stroke it a few times. 

You coughed, regaining your composure, observing him as Jake leaned over, reaching into the bedside table to pull out an unwrapped condom. He tore the wrapper with his teeth—unaware of how the small action made heat pooled in your stomach and wore the condom on his cock. He paused, hands resting on your knees to draw circles on your skin. 

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks, worried. 

“I’m sure, just fuck me, please Jaeyun,” you whined, neediness dripping from your voice. 

He cursed, wasting no time in pushing in, inch by inch. Eventually, he bottomed out and both of you moaned. Jaeyun felt like he was floating. The way your velvety walls hugged onto his cock nearly made him cum right there and then. As much as he wants to ruin you, make you scream his name, your comfort was his first priority. 

“Baby, you alright?” He asks, waiting for you to give him a verbal response. 

You felt insanely full, with how his cock was reaching the deepest areas that you thought it was impossible. Compared to the other hookups you had done, this was by far the best hookup you had and you refused to admit it out loud, not wanting to increase Jake’s ego. 

“Y-Yes, you can move,” you stuttered and Jake nodded, slowly pulling out before doing an experimental thrust. 

Your mind blanked out at how heavenly it felt, his cock sliding in and out at equal intervals, hitting the same spot, over and over again. You tried to stifle your sounds by covering your mouth but Jake was faster. He grabbed your hands, pinning them above your head, leaving you at his mercy. 

“Don’t hide from me. I want to hear you, let me see you come undone,” he panted, quickening his pace, his hips snapping against yours. 

“Ngh—Jae-Jaeyun, fuck, har-harder, please, please, please!” You mewled, tossing your head back to reveal your neck covered in hickeys. The very same hickeys that Jake left behind. 

Groaning at the thought of everyone seeing your neck, he pushed you further into the sheets, now moving at a ruthless tempo. His hand snaked down to rub your clit, the extra stimulation driving you insane, causing breathless moans to spill from your parted lips. The bra you wore had been unclipped halfway, the straps resting along your shoulders with your breasts bouncing due to the movement. 

To Jake, your current state was something straight out of a porngraphic movie. 

He recognized the telltale signs of you reaching your orgasm—how your legs moved to wrap themselves around his waist, locking him in place, how your breathing quickened and how you fucked yourself back into him. 

“Fuck, you feel so good around me, princess. So tight, so warm. If I keep you here, make you warm my cock everyday, would you like that?” Jake moaned, his words making you whine, frantically nodding your head. 

“Please, gonna cum!” You cried out. 

“Then cum for me, sweetheart.” 

You reached your climax with a loud cry, transparent liquid pathetically squirted from your clit. Some landed on the sheets while some landed on your stomach. Jake followed suit, releasing into the condom but you were able to feel the condom growing sideways, making you wish he didn’t use one in the first place. 

He slowly pulled out, unwrapping the condom and tied it before tossing it into the bin with accurate aim. You whimpered, not used to the sudden feeling of emptiness. You laid on the soaked, dirtied sheets, limbs pliant and too exhausted to move a single finger. Jake got off the bed, heading to the bathroom to grab some damp towels to clean you and him off. You let him do as he pleased, allowing him to help you into his fresh new clothes that he grabbed from his wardrobe. 

“...What does this make us now?” You asked, having to be the one to break the silence. 

Jake hums, tossing on a shirt. You had to get up, leaning against the wall as he pulled the sheets off the bed, replacing them with a new one. “Do you want this to be a one-time thing?” He asks. 

You shook your head, gripping onto your arms. “No, I want this to be more. I want us to be something more than just a hookup.” 

Jake flashes you a genuine smile. “Then I feel the same too.”

[archangeldyke-all]

Sev showing off her card shuffling tricks to reader? (And yes, we can tell you’re ovulating lmao)

AHHAHAHWH

men and minors dni

"...and i can shuffle one handed..." sevika mumbles, a proud little smile on her lips, her eyes focused on her hands as she demonstrates all her card tricks to you.

she's just won a round in her little booth, and she's waiting for a new challenger to approach her. she's tipsy, relaxed, a hundred coins richer than when she entered the bar, and best of all, she's got you in her lap, scratching her scalp as she entertains you.

you're fucking enchanted with her, hypnotized with her skilled hands, loving the sweet, childlike look in her eye as she shows off.

"this is the classic riffle..." she says, "and then from here you can go into your fancier shuffles; bridges..." she shows off the move, "waterfalls... the faro... this one's banned in some clubs 'cause you can use it to cheat."

"oh, yeah?" you ask, not caring at all, but absolutely loving the sparkle in sevika's eye when you ask the question.

"yeah! 'cause it's a perfect interwoven shuffle-- so if you do it properly enough times you re-set the deck."

"'s it banned here?" you ask. she nods.

"yeah, but the idiots i play against are too stupid to realize when i use it." she whispers. you cackle, and sevika smirks. "this one's called the tenor..." she continues.

you have to bite your lip a little as you watch her big, strong hands, metal and flesh alike, dexterously and delicately fling the cards around, not dropping a single card or fumbling once.

sevika's none the wiser to how fucking hot she's making you-- she's lost in her nerdy rambling.

"then you got your table shuffling variations--" sevika drops the deck down onto the table top to demonstrate, but you reach out and grab her hand before she can start.

"sevika..." you whisper. sevika pulls her eyes up from her cards to look at you. "you've got sexy fucking hands." you say. sevika blushes, and you grin, reaching up to swipe your finger over her pink cheeks. "and a pretty face, too."

"sevika!" old billy calls from the front of the bar where he stumbles in. she blinks rapidly, biting her lip in embarrassment before turning to face her friend. "i'm gonna kick your ass tonight, young lady!" he teases, approaching your booth.

sevika gulps, and you giggle, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "better get your game face on, baby... seems like the man means business." you tease.

billy approaches the booth, smacking sevika's shoulder in a greeting, then bending down to kiss your cheek. "evening ladies." he greets.

"hi billy." you greet as he crawls into his booth.

"fuck's wrong with your face, sevika?" billy asks.

sevika squeaks and passes the cards to billy to let him shuffle, her hands clawing at your hips as she hides her embarrassment behind your shoulder.

you cackle, wave billy's concern away with your hand and pass him a cigarette as sevika tries to get her flustered blush under control.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re

@raphaellearp @iamastar @sevikitty @claude999

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

Happy Holidayz!! Ur SkyxReader Cupcakke remix edition fic was sooooooo good I ate that shit up 💕💕💕 now do LegendxReaderxRavio threesome with Legend n Reader as the bottoms (only if you want to 😳😳😳)

LORD HAVE MERCY I WROTE THIS IN AN HOUR

('Cupcakke remix edition fic' had me bawling with laughter LMAO)

Also slightly for @hornyonmainfics b/c I saw that you were thirsting for a Leg/Rav x reader fic..

Out Of Touch

Pairing: Legend x Reader x Ravio

Warning(s): You know what this is. No smut in this chapter, but this is an 18+ story, so please DNI if you're a minor!

Notes: Also inspired by "How Do I Make You Love Me" by The Weeknd.

Main Masterlist | Fic Masterlist | Next Chapter

"You've got to be kidding me," you deadpanned, staring at Ravio in his little green-apple eyes like he had personally wronged you, arms crossed over your chest as if to protect it from beating straight through your ribcage.

"Whatever do you mean, darling?" the Merchant flashed a smile that was all teeth. Oh, he made you mad. Ring-laden hands landed carefully in the middle of the large counter as he leaned forward to meet your disapproving gaze.

You pinched your temples, gesturing to the thick bundle of arrows like it would fortify your argument. "Goddamn it, Rav, these arrows were five rupees yesterday and you know it!"

You watched incredulously when he eyed the bundle, then returned to grinning you like the bastard he was. You couldn't believe him and Link were counterparts. "Were they?"

"Yes! And here I thought those ears would make it easier for you to hear," you hissed, pointing an accusing finger at that accursed rabbit hood of his, who he had most graciously shed when you stomped to the register nary five minutes ago. "Come on, dude. You can't be serious."

His eyes flashed wickedly and you knew you had made a terrible mistake. "Yeah, because I'm Ravio—"

You abruptly turned on your heel, only slid to a stop when a hand caught your wrist. It was the bunny bitch himself, practically bent over the counter in an attempt to keep stop you from marching out and finding another vendor.

"Hey! You can't just leave!"

You scoffed, pivoting slightly to face him once more, brow arched as you stared him down. "Why? This is a business, I'm not obligated to buy anything."

Ravio had the audacity to look affronted by the very insinuation that you would leave without spending your hard-earned rupees on his bullshit scams. "No, but you'd deny business to your ever-faithful roommate?"

"Um, Link is my roommate," but Link was also gone, having disappeared to do... whatever he did when he wasn't sulking around at home. You paused to think of an appropriate burn. "You're like the homeless guy who's taken residence in our rafters."

The Merchant gasped in faux offense, retracting his hand to slap it over his heart in what you could only assume was a wordless declaration of moral injury. "Rude! I steal nothing and contribute to rent."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, and I'm the Queen of Hyrule—"

"Not with that attitude, you aren't."

"...Fuck you, Rav."

Instead of firing some equally clever rebuttal your way, Ravio actually seemed to consider the prospect, all the while you blinked and wondered if now was a good time to start running. "I'd expect dinner first, as is proper" he eventually decided on, nodding slowly like it was a respectable response.

Your jaw nearly hit the floor; in no way, shape, or form was this a respectable response. "Um."

"And, of course, it would have to be when Mr. Hero is away, unless you're into that?"

Your cheeks flushed against your will. What... what was happening? Despite appearances, you'd known Ravio for years—which was probably why he was allowed to refer to you as a 'whore' when the two of you were tipsy and engrossed in a card game and you were allowed to screech about his outrageous prices in return—but never once had your roommate-esque relationship crossed over to... whatever this was.

And yet, here you were, being propositioned by the fucking Merchant.

Heart threatening to hammer from your chest, you turned, grabbed the bundle of arrows, and slung your entire pouch of rupees onto the counter.

"Keep the change."

You were gone before he could finish calling your name.

It was nearly nightfall by the time Ravio managed to drag his sorry butt home, slinking inside with unusual regard for your peace and quiet. Usually, he would fling the door open with some innocuous exclamation about the state of the Hyrulean weaponry market, but, this time, only a small creak could be heard, followed by the soft shuffling of boots.

"Hey, Rav," you called, back facing the door as you busied over the cooking pot, half-heartedly stirring the soup within. The three of you had learned early on that it was easier for everyone if you did the cooking, seeing as the other two were largely useless in the kitchen. "Did you make any sales?"

There was a pause. Then, he spoke: "Just yours. I closed up shop early."

Your head twisted around so fast you swore your neck cracked from the force of the action. Never in your life had you thought you'd hear Ravio, scammer of thousands, admit to willingly skip out on profits. Monsters had begun to emerge along the surrounding roads—which was likely why Link had traipsed into the wilderness a few days prior with only some bread, his sword, and a lingering gaze over his shoulder as you waved from the doorway—which meant business should be booming. "What?! Why?"

Now that he had your attention fixed on him, Ravio leaned against the wall beside the door, one hand combing through his soft black hair while the other braced across his stomach, like he was a swooning maiden rather than a self-proclaimed "Legendary" merchant. "And so the interrogation begins! If you must know, it's because someone bought my entire stock of arrows, leaving me high and—"

You eyed the bundle of arrows on the table, brain working furiously to decipher if he was lying or not. There was no way that Ravio, a god among merchants, hadn't seen fit to stock on arrows, one of the most popular weapons, in anticipation for what had colloquially become known as 'monster season' among the townspeople.

...Or was there?

"—dry! For shame, I tell you!"

Yeah, and then he'd propositioned you for sex, but you supposed it wasn't polite to mention when you had all but run out on him. Oops.

"That's so crazy," you said dryly, praying to whatever deity existed that it masked the budding nervousness in your tone. The soup burbled, and you turned to stir in some salt, still speaking: "Who would do that? That's just plain wrong. I'm appalled."

"So am I, darling," you heard the soft shuffle of footsteps, then the dull creaking of a familiar chair as he took his usual seat at the table, spinning around to lean his elbows back on the thick wood. You didn't need to see his smirk when you could practically hear it. "But, it would be wrong to say I'm not somewhat impressed.

You gave the soup a harsher-than-normal stir. "In what, your customer's ability to adapt to a changing business environment or yours to exploit them?"

There was a groan. "That's twice you've wounded me," he whined, to which you rolled your eyes and debated telling him to be a man. "And in a single day? For shame!"

"Sounds to me like you're ashamed of a lot of things," you sniped without any real heat, grabbing the pair of bowls you'd placed by the hearth and filling them with a hearty helping of mushroom-and-meat goodness. Ravio watched with rapt attention as you brought them to the table, placing one in front of him before taking a seat at the opposite side of the table. "You better eat up before Link comes home," you gestured to the half-full pot with a deadpan expression. "Because that won't stand a chance when he does, and I'd rather avoid trashing this place. Again."

"As you wish," he lifted the bowl to his lips and took a hearty sip. Your ears perked in realization, and you quickly snagged a spoon from the pocket of your borrowed apron, sliding it across the table to him with a muffled 'sorry'. He took the offering without hesitation, scooping a hearty portion of meat and mushroom, and you were grateful that someone in this house actually ate their fungi. Link had the nasty habit of glaring down anything vegetable on his plate like he was trying to absorb the nutrients through the power of his gaze alone. "And here I thought Mr. Hero was your favorite."

"I wouldn't worry, you can be just as much a pain in the ass, too," you assured him blandly; eyebrow raised, spoon filled to the brim.

He snapped his fingers. "And that's three!"

"Shut up and eat, Rav."

It was freezing.

A gust of wind rattled the house as you attempted to yank your thin blanket higher without exposing your feet to the abhorrent chill. You typically never bothered with repairs because Link was unusually obsessive in fixing any issues as soon as they arose, but with him gone... well, you weren't quite sure where the offending hole was, but, by Hylia, things would not be pretty when you discovered it.

You shivered; this sucked, and not in the good way. You yanked the blanket a bit higher, accidentally revealing the barest edge of toe to the air, which brought forth a hissed curse that was far too loud for comfort.

A beat passed. Then, from Link's bed on the opposite side of the room, you heard: "Are you awake?"

Your fingers, stiff and chilled, tightened around the threadbare hem of your blanket. If there was anything that Link and Ravio shared, it was that they were annoyingly persistent. There wasn't a single thought in your mind that he wouldn't bother you until you coughed up some sort of answer. "Yeah."

Another rush of wind battered the poor home, followed by... was that rain? Already? "Why?" Ravio's voice rang loud over the approaching storm.

"Because it's fucking cold," you bit out without much heat. Risking a glance at Link's bed, you found him bright-eyed and sitting upright, back against the thick headboard. It was strange seeing the Merchant without his usual adornments, like his rings or that horribly gaudy belt, but he was still wearing that bunny cloak-tunic-dress thing, so you supposed you couldn't complain that much. A thin laugh passed over your chilled lips, and you took the risk of rolling to your back, propping yourself slightly on your elbows to view him in greater detail. "What's your excuse?"

This was already turning out different than expected. After two years of being Link's roommate, you'd grown used to his quiet, somewhat brash demeanor, though it was hardly so when you had the vivid memories of joining him in bed when times got tough or nightmares tougher; arms snug around your back and a warm, silent face pressed to the indent of your collarbone, though he would kill you if did you anything more than acknowledge and move on. With Ravio, things were... uncertain. Not unwelcome, simply unknown.

"I don't like storms," he decided after a few beats, hands buried beneath Link's bedspread. His hair was as perfect as ever, nearly invisible in the darkness, but you would recognize its shine anywhere.

"It wasn't storming before," you said, not unkindly. The cold bit at your neck over the hem of your tunic-dress,

"No, it wasn't," he parroted, and the room fell silent once more. Until a crack of thunder rumbled outside and you both jumped, looked at each other, and burst into raucous laughter a second later.

"Hylia, I can't believe—!" you chortled, momentarily forgetting your grievances at the sheer absurdity of the situation. From across the room, Ravio shook from the force of his own chuckles as they bubbled up to join yours. He looked carefree, and you...

Well, you laughed a bit harder, knowing you weren't alone in the unexpected mirth. Clapping a hand over your mouth only did so much, and it wasn't until you heard the thick rustle of sheets did you finally give pause. It was the Merchant, of course, but he was... getting out of bed? Willingly??

Apparently, the storm could wait; you were far more interested in whatever fuckery he planned on doing, anyway. You watched with rapt attention as he walked across the room, expression twisting in the barest grimace when the cold floor met his bare feet.

"What are you doing?"

Your voice sounded booming in the budding silence.

Ravio didn't answer. He grabbed his scarf from where it was folded on the table, and ambled to your bedside. "Here," he said, offering the thick, black-and-blue fabric to you. "It's not much, but it should do the trick."

"Um," you blinked owlishly. "It's fine, you don't have to give me your stuff."

It was with much surprise that you watched his face harden into something akin to a disappointed scowl, like something a parent might give their misbehaving child. What the fuck was happening? "Of course I don't have, I want to."

Fuck, why did he always have to make such stunningly good points when you were least expecting it? Despite this, you bit your tongue, and your lip, accepting the scarf with about as much enthusiasm as a sleepy kitten. "Thanks, Rav."

The Merchant's smile shone brighter than the terrible, brilliant sun. "Keep the change," he said in a tone that couldn't have been anything but fond and you... well, you just watched as he began to shuffle back to Link's bed.

There was nothing between you and Ravi, or you and Link, or any such combination that involved you and the barest idea of romance. It was preposterous, and horribly disrespectful to your beloved roommates.

...So why did you want to reach out and stop him?

"Hey, Rav," at the sound of your voice, he paused, halfway between both beds. Anything could happen when a middle was involved, and you both knew how much he hated extremes.

The storm howled outside.

"Hm?"

You tried to stave off the spike of disappointment that rose at the loss of the term "darling", but some feelings had an annoying habit of simply bouncing back stronger. Hylia, you really were out of touch, weren't you?

The window rattled. You could have sworn someone was outside.

It would be so easy to tell him, so easy to cajole a warn body into the sheets beside you. You'd slept with Link countless times, cuddled in his embrace until the kiss of morning, when he'd slip out and carry you to your bed, gingerly tucking in while you feigned sleep. And if he pressed a pat to your head or brushed some hair from your face, who were you to judge. Link was a hero. Ravio was a merchant. All you wanted was to—

"Have a good night."

Candy-green eyes shone in the low moonlight. Ravio tipped his head just as you let yours fall on the pillow, the folded square of his scarf clenched tightly between trembling, frozen fingers.

"You too, darling," said the Merchant, and, without another word he retreated.

Stay here, your mind whispered. Bring me back to reality.

This was supposed to be one chapter, but my brain kind of got away from me so enjoy!!!

[hungrydogs-if]

I don't know if anyone has asked this yet but if you do reaction asks please do indulge me.

Omg i stole this ask from somewhere, but it was going around months ago, and I'd totally forgot how much i loved it, so here it is againn Circulation!! *Jazz hands* Sorry.. lmao. So MC gets a bit too tipsy, and the ROs want to take them home ( the whole relationship already established), but MC is like, hands off, I'm already taken... because drunkity drunk and can not compute.... how does this go? 🤣😭

ooo yes, i know exactly how this would go.

dane would be just as tipsy and clap back with that "me too, the fuck?" and go on a spiel about his love for vp without realizing that it's them right there. i can just see how they walk the same way to the general home direction and eventually realize that they're drunk idiots. spiderman meme, iykyk lmao. might both pass out in a ditch who knows!

mona would honestly be so exasperated, but play along with it like "yeah yeah hotshot, bet my boo is hotter though" and just call an uber while trying to keep the vp from wandering off like a toddler. secretly she'd be flattered, not that she would every say it out loud but maybe be a bit nicer to vp in the morning instead.

sam would try so hard to not laugh at that because they've never been that drunk, but have definitely used that same line to get out of situations. they'd be so nice about it though and make sure vp looked at them, holding their face to keep them focused until the recognition lit up their eyes. very cute.

angel is a stick in the mud so basically; "yeah and taken into custody soon for public intoxication, could you sit down and wait for the uber?" okay so maybe they'd be a bit irritated because public intoxication is risky and they don't need any more paperwork to deal with even if it's their time off. would eventually ditch the uber and just lug vp home by themselves to avoid trouble. protests are not heeded.

thirteen would tilt their head in confusion and gesture at themselves like ?? that me tho? probably a good wave of the hand in front of vp's face to make sure they didn't go blind. a few slappas on the cheeks to reboot. you best believe they'd be visor to nose with a shake of vp's shoulders to shake the drunk away lol. way to go, now they're confused for the rest of the night while trying to drag vp to a safehouse.

[nyyyxxxx]

- Kinktober 2023 - Masterlist -

- Pairing. - Bokuto Kotaro, Haikyuu.

- Warnings. - I'm so late lmao sorry, +18 (MDNI), drunk!Bokuto and tipsy!reader, slightly jealous!Bokuto, love-struck!Bokuto, oral (sixty-nine), not proofread.

The sky was already dark when Bokuto and you stepped through the door of your shared house, a little tipsy after drinking with old friends from high school. Bokuto couldn’t stop giggling, his low tolerance being the cause of his behaviour, even though he only drank some cans of beer.

It was hard not to laugh with him, he looked so happy, his arm draped over your shoulder and his body bumping against yours with each step he took. He wasn’t even able to walk straight, and you were not too far from being in the same state as him, because Kuroo, Bokuto’s best friend, was quite eager to make both of you drink until you ended up in this poor state.

You dragged Bokuto to your shared bedroom and let him fall on the bed, gasping as he pulled you down with him. You both looked at each other before bursting into laughter, tears forming in your eyes from laughing so much. After calming down a little, Bokuto wrapped his arm around you and smiled, his fingers slowly stroking your arm up and down. He looked at you with such warmth, such affection, that it had your heart melting with equal love. "You’re so pretty…" He mumbled, his eyes focusing on your face and taking in the sight of you, your face feeling warmer due to the alcohol, your disheveled hair and your smile… Such a pretty smile, it made him fall in love all over again.

"You know… Sometimes I realise how lucky I am… so lucky… ‘cause I’m yours… and you love me… only me…" He murmured, his voice a little raspy as he talked slowly. The alcohol running through his veins made him sleepy, but he blinked his drowsiness away and pulled you closer against him. "Why are you so pretty… I don’t like it… other guys keep looking… mmh… mine…" He rambled and pressed kisses against your face, before biting your cheek gently, making you laugh slightly.

He continued babbling nonsense, his hands gripping your hips and massaging the soft flesh while he held you closer. But after a few seconds he became quiet, staring at you silently and biting his lip. "Hey…" He murmured, his hands moving to your ass and gripping it gently. "Hey, sweetheart." You cooed softly, your fingers tracing his jawline as you looked at him with a tender gaze. "Mmh… wanna sit on my face?" He said bluntly, making you eyes widen and your eyebrows raise in surprise. "What?"

"Yeah… wanna taste your sweet little pussy…" He mumbled and licked his lips, laying on his back and staring at you with glazed eyes. You sighed and removed your pants and underwear, struggling a little as you slid them down your legs. He whined softly at the sight of your half naked body, his fingers hitching to touch you and his mouth watering. You ran a hand through your hair and went on top of him, your knees digging into the mattress on each side of his head. His hands immediately reached for your hips and he pulled you down, breathing deeply and groaning at the smell of you.

He parted your folds with his tongue, circling your clitoris and pushing inside you. His hands held your hips firmly, steadying you as he began to pleasure you. You moaned and your back arched slightly, small gasps falling from your lips and your fingers grasping his shirt while he groaned against your core.

"Fuck, yes... you taste so good, baby..." he murmured, his voice muffled as his tongue worked faster, lapping up your juices before he suckled on your swollen clit. You wined and your hips bucked, your gaze falling down to his erection straining his pants. He moved his hips unconsciously, his hands moving to hold your thighs as he continued eating you out. You felt dizzy, pleasure clouding your mind more than the alcohol in your blood. Your fingers fought a little with the button of his pants before pulling them down along with his boxers, freeing his aching cock. He groaned again, his voice vibrating against your cunt as he bucked his hips, his body aching for you to touch him too.

You wrapped your hand around his shaft, pumping him a few time before leaning forward and sucking him into your mouth. Bokuto whined, his eyes rolling back and his nails digging into your thighs as he pulled you down harder against his face. he was messy, but he couldn't help it, you tasted so good, so good he thought that he could cum just from tasting you. It would be so embarrassing, coming undone from just having you sitting on his face, but he wouldn't feel even an ounce of shame, not when he had you like this, not when you let him relish in the taste of your sweetness. It was addicting, you were addicting, and he couldn't help but want more.

You moaned and rocked your hips, grinding against his face while sucking him off, feeling him mumbling dirty words of praise against your flesh. He growled, the sound rumbling in his throat as his tongue lavished attention on your sensitive clit, drawing shuddering moans from you. One of his hands gripped your hair, pushing your head down and making you take more of his length into your mouth, his hips bucking up at the same time. "Fuck, you're amazing," he breathed, his voice rough with desire and his tongue darting out to taste more of you. His sounds were muffled by your folds, his eyes rolling back as deep groans and quiet whines fell from his lips, his thick shaft pulsing in your mouth. He was close, you could tell, his hand gripped your hair tighter and his hips jerked forward erratically, beads of precum coating your tongue. His hands gripped your buttocks, kneading the flesh as he suckled on your clit again, not caring about how sloppy he was while eating you out, your juices coating his cheeks and chin. With a few more hard suctions on your clit, he had you coming undone on his face, your moans becoming high pitched and your breath coming out in muffled gasps. It took him a few more thrusts into your mouth to reach his own climax, his cock throbbing as thick ropes of cum spurted on your tongue, beads of his seed dribbling down your chin.

You panted and rolled on the bed next to him, still trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm. Bokuto mumbled your name, his hands pulling you against him. "'m sleepy..." he murmured quietly, nuzzling his face in your neck and holding you tightly against his chest, his strong arms firmly wrapped around your waist. You smiled softly and kissed his temple, your fingers running through his hair. Soon, you felt his breathing slowing down and he started to snore softly, fast asleep in your arms, where he belonged.

[ilovefoodandslasherswithmasks]

So I decided on a first fan fiction idea, what's it gonna be? Angst, of course. Pure angst. Why? I found the perfect inspiration Song,

I know it's over, by the smiths. My first thought was like omg. So prepare to suffer in this first Fan Fiction. The time line of the song and stuff doesn't match but imagine it does. It's a Eddie Munson x reader angst (maahahahah) I'm so mean. But this is also how I cope with a comfort character loss.

You were the dream I woke up from way to soon.

It's been the summer of 1983 when you meet Eddie, he was, well, special?

He had weird habits like chewing his hair on occasion when he's nervous, you found it endearing.

Eddie didn't care about fitting the mold, he didn't care about the Monster of Hawkins High on his heel.

You two meet in the most stupid way possible, you used to stay under the radar for your own good, but one class he decided to crack the most dark and kind of disrespectful joke you've heard in a while. And your humor, made you snort and got you both expelled for 3 days.

You both were sent to the principals office, you hanging your head feeling slightly ashamed, especially cause this was a first time thing, you never got expelled before. While he, took it rather casually and kept rambling all the way to the office. When the both of you sat infront of the principal, he sassed around making you snort and giggle, which caused the expelling in the first place. You would've just gotten detention but well what can I say.

When the principal send you away to go home ASAP, Eddie just followed you to your locker, much to your confusion.

"Why are you following me?"

"Oh just thought I haven't seen you here before so I'm trying to jog my memory, are you new?" He asked. Gosh it kinda hurt.

"No actually I've been here for almost two years now. Uh just you know stayed under the radar." You said awkwardly, at least you actually stayed under the radar?

"Oh..well damn, if I knew a pretty girl with dark humor went to this school sooner, I would've made you laugh a long time ago"

'God, is he flirting right now??' That's all that went through your mind.

Days went by, Eddie always around you, those 3 days of being expelled and him suggesting to hang out since you both got in trouble together so 'it's only right to be expelled together too' really did wonders.

You went to his trailer the second day of being expelled, you both got a bit high and had some real deep talks, no idea why but a lot was laid open (lmao), the both of you grew close over such a short time.

Those days became weeks, then months, and eventually it was the year 1984.

His year, like he said. He got to know this girl called Paige (yall she's from the book flight of icarus, check it out it's actually so good) you started to lose one another slowly, you wouldn't say you're jealous, but you were disappointed when suddenly the deep feelings you shared started feeling one sided.

So the both of you grew apart, days turned to months again. Till she left, which, not to sound rude, you were so happy about. But Eddie was still not around like he used to be, yeah he glanced at you whenever you were around. He did that while Paige was around as well, but he never approached you, and it hurt.

So since he was a coward, seeing him at one of the frat parties wasn't the usual sight.

He was dressed the same but so different, he wore a iron maiden tank top (which he sloppily cut the sleeves off) and dark blue jeans and his usual sneakers and bracelets etc.

He had pulled his hair together and fuck, he never looked better.

You got a bit tipsy which made you a bit to confident so you went to him.

"Well Munson, we need to fuckung talk!"

"Oh hi uh sure what about?" He asked fumbling with his rings.

"Not here,come on" you grumbled pulling him out of the house to the small backyard where a few teens laid passed out on the grass and the slide (don't drink yall).

Huffing you sat on the stairs as he hesitated before sitting down too.

Just silent he waited for you to speak. Minutes went by and you felt the rage and sadness of him dropping you starting to resurface.

"Fuck what were you thinking!? Heck we got along so well, then that Paige girl shows up, she's all you talk about for days then suddenly you don't talk to me at all anymore. Following her like some dog while I was drowing in the feelings I have for you and feeling the feelings you had for me vanish so fast!" You practically scold him as you gathered up the courage and blurt it out, tears slipping a little as you stand up with an annoyed groan.

"I thought you liked me, like some idiot!"

Just silent, he just stared at you.

You waited and waited and snapped.

"Fuck,will you say something!? It wasn't difficult for you to yap to her!"

You were slowly losing it, you felt betrayed all over again,he couldn't even spare you a simple response or rejection.

He slowly started.

"What do you mean with feelings you have? And feelings I had?"

"Oh please, don't play dumb, the fact we always flirted, or the amount of times I caught you tempted to kiss me! God Eddie, please tell me it wasn't all in my head!?"

He just stared at his hands playing with his rings, thinking of what to say.

"Oh damn it...you know what forget it!" You mumble hurt and annoyed, you just confessed to get nothing in return. Stupid. So you walk back up the stairs, past him, back into the house, past all the party goers and walked the miles back home. Your feet aching already but you didn't care, you felt so much you just wanted to get it out of your mind, and let your poor heart rest.

It's taken days of you ignoring Eddie in school, as he practically ran after you like a puppy whenever he got the chance. You grew tired of it, it felt like being mocked for some reason. You saw yourself, trying so hard for his attention when Paige showed up, you didn't blame her, she was gorgeous, you probably would've done the same if you were in Eddie's shoes. But knowing that you ran after him in school during those days and he always hit you with the "Sorry I got plans" or "ah damn um I can't come after all Paige told me she was free today" etc.

But he still managed to grab you to the side after school, you walked past the football field where he sold behind the small tree line. He took the opportunity to pull you away.

"Please, will you please hear me out!?"

"Hear you out? What do you want me to listen to? You swooning some more over Paige? No big pass"

"No! God will you stop!? I'm sorry okay! I was so naive she told me she could help make me and the band famous. I really thought I could do it. I completely neglected you and I see that now, and I wish I didn't. You're so damn important to me. Please believe me." He rambled, holding your wrists, like he was scared you'd walk away if he didn't. Like you've done for days.

"I confessed to you Eddie, you didn't even say anything when I did. You just stayed silent and I deserve better. So fuck, I don't care what you have to say now, the ship sailed a long time ago and you missed the chance!"

"God Sweetness please don't say that"

You could feel your heart clench at the nickname he had given you a few weeks after you two officially meet. It has been so long since the last time you heard him say it.

"Don't call me that! We're not close like that anymore. You obviously don't want me the way I want you so just drop it."

You already freed you hands about to walk away when he rambled it out.

"I WANT YOU, fuck I wanted you since the day you sat down next to me in that class, and I finally got the guts to talk to you when you laughed at my joke. When we got expelled. Damn, I- I don't know what I thought I was doing when I pushed you away, I didn't mean to...but I want you, fuck, the amount of times I wanted to go to you and tell you about what I manged to get done and knew I couldn't because it would be so out of no where you'd probably feel worse about it..if I came to you to talk about Paige..so I didn't...I'm so sorry Sweetness, believe me"

You just shook as the cold autumn air hit you.

You turn around to look at him.

"That's so not fair!" Taking a shaky breath you continue,

"It's so not fair for you to say all this after I waited for you to return to your old self! I waited like a fool all day all night hoping you'd show up on my doorstep, like you always did, randomly at the worst time possible! You don't get to say all this after you hurt me!"

He just pulled you into a hug as you cried, so exhausted and confused about what you were supposed to do next. Damn you forgot how good of a hugger he was.

(Anyways time skip, I'm feeling lazy and this is taking long)

After the heart felt exchange he finally asked you out, took him a few days to gather the courage but he did anyways. You said yes, obviously, you didn't wait like a abonded pet for nothing!

It was great, he took you on dates, you stayed at his trailer when Wayne wasn't home, cuddled up watching a movie, or jumping around to some of his music blasting in his room, or just made out like those other lovelost couples.

It was great, till the whole thing with Chrissy happened,you were so scared for him, you went around town day in day out, looking for him. No idea where he was. Frightened about the mob of angry people looking for him.

You didn't find him at all, you saw Nancy by his trailer talking to Wayne, but you shrugged it off. You talked to Wayne and he soothed you when you panicked about him just having vanished,he didn't even come find you. Which you understood people would look for him at your place first. You had to throw some out after they burst in as you opened the door even just an inch.

It was madness.

You went days in fear and worry, till the earthquake..

No Eddie, everyone but not him, no body, not a trace of him.

Just gone, like a dream you had. Like it was never real.

You couldn't stand the funeral, only few people attended. I mean King Steve? You weren't surprised about Dustin and The other hellfire members, but Robin, Steve, Nancy and who else. They didn't know Eddie?

They didn't know him.

Why were they there? Just out of pity?

You didn't have a clue, but you hung on to the hope Eddie was fine, no Body no case. Right?

It had been weeks since the memorial like funeral, you went to his spot everyday,cleaned the grave stone from the hateful messages. Placed new flowers after the old ones where stomped on.

It took weeks till the others decided to tell you what happened, the guilt of you being so painfully unaware getting the best of them.

Steve told you while the others stood silent, you only rembered breaking down, the last hope you had shattered like the cup Eddie always made you tea in.

You knew it was over, the empty Cold bed, wasn't just temporary.

Another night on your own, more coming.

All gone no way it would return to you.

"But we had so many plans!!! We never got to go to a concert!" You cried out the lost moments of the future like it would suddenly change this all.

But no, you were so harshly woken up from this dream.

The hopeless trying to fall back asleep didn't work, like it never did.

He was gone, and so was the dream.

(Yall istg the ending was rushed af, I promise this isn't it, I probably will write another chapter, if yall want me to. Anyhowww! It's almost October!! Ahh I love spooky season.) Also the song is so good, I legit can't stop seeing him in it 😔 I wish he didn't get taken out of stranger things. He could've been a major character for longer. I cry everytime I rematch.

[lily-alphonse]

Sam/Haley?

(Saley? 🤭)

Saley? Or Ham. LMAO

Hmmmmmmm this one. This one irks me. They sure would be pretty though.

I'm itching to put them in some kind of AU because my mind screams that they don’t make sense in their current context. There has to be an inciting factor like both working as camp counselors in a nearby town or going to college together or something. (Or… Scooby Doo AU? A little Fred/Daphne dynamic perhaps?)

Like maybe Haley has considered it, kinda liked the rogue skater, class clown thing Sam had going on. But she was always expected to be with the star athlete.

Ok wait maybe the inciting incident is Alex coming out as gay. That could work. Farmer shows up, we have an “oh no he’s HOT 😩” moment and Haley is left in the dust.

She’s pissed at first but then realizes she’s free. She can truly do whatever she wants. Who is going to care, now that the rumor mill is abuzz with Alex’s scandal?

She experiments with her fashion. Tries new hobbies. She goes to visit Emily at work and even gets a little tipsy and dances. And one Friday night she sees Sam there playing pool with Sebastian and she can’t help herself. He’s so fucking tall and edgy, it’s an exciting kind of intimidating. But Haley can be intimidating too, despite her size.

“Sebastian. Sam.” She greets them both with her arms crossed and an easy smile.

“Uh. Hi.” Sebastian is the first to respond, straightening up from where he was lining up a shot.

“In light of recent events I feel the need to ask if either of you are gay,” Haley starts.

“What?” Sebastian asks in disbelief.

“No,” Sam says immediately.

Haley meets his eyes with a predatory sort of smile. “Alright, prove it. Dance with me.”

Sam kind of chuckles and bites his lip, looking over at Sebastian. “Man I know we’re in the middle of something but…”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and points to Haley. “You, wait there two turns. If you still want him after I kick his ass you can have him for tonight.”

Haley chuckles. “Deal.”

It’s actually kind of torture, in a good way. She has a front row seat to watch his body move, his eyebrows furrow and tongue sticking out when he’s concentrating.

She doesn’t know much about pool, so she doesn’t care that Sebastian is right about kicking his ass. All she cares about is the man rounding the table to meet her, as Sebastian goes off to find Abby.

“Hi,” Sam says with a cheeky smile down at her. He isn’t shy, getting close and personal already.

“Hi,” she gives him her best flirty smile.

“Still up to dance with a loser?”

“Can’t really be considered a loser with the hottest girl in here on your arm.”

He chuckles at that, taking her hand to guide them to the dancefloor. She’s caught a bit off-guard by his forwardness but damn if it isn’t sexy as hell. And his hand is big 🫠

His hands move to her waist on the dancefloor and they sway with some distance between them to continue speaking.

“I don’t know how you can be so confident about that by the way," He says once their settled into a rhythm.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean, just look at Pam. You’ve got some stiff competition.”

“Oh har-har very funny,” she rolls her eyes but fights a smile.

“Ooo tough crowd.”

“I’m tough to please.”

“I can imagine. But correct me if I’m wrong Princess, seems like you’re already sold on me.”

The sudden nickname almost gets her flustered. She decides to ignore it. Ignore it and definitely not file it away in her brain to obsess over later. “Not sold at all, that’s why I asked for a dance and not your hand in marriage.”

“I see. This is my test drive then?”

“You could call it that.”

“You look beautiful.”

It’s obviously a line. But it comes so suddenly that Haley does get flustered this time. “I know,” she blurts, and then, “thank you.”

His smile widens at her blush. “I’m serious, I like the new look. You seem more like yourself.”

“Myself? And how would you know?” she raises a perfect eyebrow at him as its his turn to get sheepish.

“Oh, well I just mean like, I don’t know. It suits you. You seem happier.”

She thinks about that, looking at his shirt instead of his eyes. She has been feeling happier. She sighs and leans into Sam, closing the distance between them to lay her head against his pounding chest. He stops swaying, surprised. She smiles at how fast his heart is going under his facade.

“I am happier, I think.”

DAMN OK I DONE GONE AN CONVINCED MYSELF LMAO these two are kinda fire ngl I think theyd both be sassy and flirty the banter is top tier

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[toomuchracket]

thinking about d word matty surprising girlie with a beach vacation to escape the january london hell weather…. homemade sangria, reading hot girl books by the pool until matty inevitably gets bored so u go skinny dipping to shut him up… thoughts 🤔

it's like you knew i was just about to post that i'm absolutely fucking freezing... the two of you are sitting at the kitchen table on your laptops, your teeth audibly chattering despite the heating being on, and matty's like "babe can you look at this for me? and tell me yes or no?" - you agree, he slides the laptop over, and you see he's on the website for a really nice villa in tenerife, hovering over booking it for check-in in two days' time. you look at him like "serious?", and he nods, and you just BEAM and say "yes. please!" so he books it then and there lol. you cheer when the confirmation for the villa and the flights comes through, and matty laughs and tugs you onto his lap for a hug; you kiss his cheek and say "thank you. m'excited. and looking forward to being warm", and he's like "warm enough to go in the pool and everything". at that, you go "oh!" and stand up, tugging matty behind you like "c'mon" - he's like "whoa babe where's the fire? what are we even doing?", and you smile like "picking out bikinis and swimsuits for me to pack". matty blinks, then scoops you up and speeds towards your bedroom like "ok yeah the haste is necessary" lol, and the next hour is just you torturing him by trying on all your swimwear and not letting him touch you (but you make it up to him. and thank him for treating you to a holiday lmao). anyway, the flight out is good, and the villa is gorgeous - so private, with a hot tub and a massive pool - and once you unpack you go for a little drive for some dinner and to do some food shopping. matty looks at you questioningly when you add two full boxes of wine into the trolley, but he giggles when you're like "what? i want to make sangria"; that's the first thing you do when you get back to the villa, and when matty tries it he's like "fuck me that is LETHAL. but it's good" lol. so yeah, you just get a bit tipsy and make out in the living room that night, and when you wake up feeling a bit tender the next morning you decide to just recover by the pool - matty sleeps it off (you periodically spray him with spf so he doesn't burn lmfao), and you drape yourself over the sun lounger and read your eliza clark book and have a smoke. you're lying on your stomach when matty wakes up, and he moves his lounger next to yours so he can rest his head on your ass with a contented sigh, and you just giggle and say "comfy?" but continue to read your book; he starts kissing and rubbing your bare skin, hoping to get a reaction out of you, but you just hum and say "feels nice" and keep reading. it isn't until he's fully straddling the back of your thighs, kissing up your spine, and sliding his hands under your bikini top to hold your tits that you put the bookmark in the book and lay it on the ground - you're like "you want my attention?", and matty's in your ear like "yeah, m'bored, wanna spend time with you", and you're like "alright. let me stand up, then". matty obliges, shuffling to sit on your lounger, and he smiles when you stretch and reach around to undo the tie keeping your top on like "fuck, baby, you're so hot"; his jaw drops when you undo the ties on your bottoms and jump into the pool, but he grins again when you beckon him over with your index finger and a wink. you laugh when he cannonballs into the water, and the two of you have a little kiss, which turns into a makeout session, which turns into - you guessed it - pool sex. and that's basically the itinerary for the rest of your week away: riling matty up by wearing exclusively swimwear (he's like "these bikinis are so easy to take off god i wish you could wear them all the time", and you're like "yeah but we'd get nothing done except each other lol"), and fucking until you're exhausted. basically, the perfect holiday <3

[madhattervanessa]

Hello, I was wondering if you could do a one shot of where how the Tf 141 would react to the y/n asking to try a new position and it ended up hurting them. Like causing cramps. And how would they help or what exactly would they do?(Yes this has happened to me) I was hoping that this would become like fluff/ comfort with a hint of NSFW. Sorry I am writing this while at work.

Hey ‘non! Thank you so much for the ask and don’t even worry about it, I got you. I hope your work day went okay :)

This has happened to me a few times, too, lmao, those cramps are fucking nasty.

I also wrote this down in one go and it's really fucking late, I'm slightly tipsy so- at least we'll be on a similar level of unhinged

Let’s get into it!

Cpt. John Price

REALLY loves when you give him new options for positions to twist you into

this man is a dom through and through. If you give him the go, I- 

but I also think he is prepared- he gets you warmed up before you guys start playing twister, he is getting older, okay?

So I think this is most likely to happen in the morning when you’re spooning and it turns into fucking from there; he wants to see his cock in the mirror at the end of the bed and lifts your leg, so he can “watch that greedy pussy swallow his cock”

It’s then, that the cramps hit- your hip muscles contract from front to back and you wince noticeably

“Fuck, what’s wrong-?”

“Cramp-Cramp-! Fuck!”

Cue immediate stop and questing fingers that prod while you whine about the pain

Fear not though because this man gets you up on your feet to walk while he sprints off to find whatever pain medication and heating pad he can find before even getting dressed

If it dies down? Great. Though you’ll have him check in more for a few weeks, careful to take it slow

If it doesn’t, prepare to be handled with a furrowed brow and the utmost care until John can figure out a physical therapist- even if it’s a poor rookie he strongarms into helping you on base.

he’ll probably feed you magnesium supplements for a few days, too

Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley

Look- Simon is always more than happy to wait for cues from you

If you want a new position, you’ll have to either talk him into it or already twist yourself into a new position before he can even perceive what is happening because this man likes to stick to missionary where he can watch you soak his cock and look back up to see your cute face twist up as you cum

once established and proven, he’ll take up new positions, though. 

I feel like he is a big fan of putting a leg over his shoulder as he fucks you

I am lying, I am a big believer of this- it’s a gorgeous view, he can use it as leverage and paw at your tits or just watch them bounce prettily as he fucks you

However, having sex with this big hunk of a man means he’ll not only stretch you apart in that particular position, he also makes you cum hard

When your leg cramps eventually from the constant pressure and from holding that position for too long, he will chalk it up to you being fussy at first

but if you insist, he’ll stop and drop immediately to push his fingers into the sore spot

it will hurt- his grip is strong and he is insistent, despite your wriggling around

but it makes for a quick and effective solution: he is good at massaging the cramp away, soothing the pain with his hand.

Once it’s out of the way, he’ll keep his warm hand on it before continuing to fuck you into relaxation- a nap after getting fucked until you are limp is the best way to a quick recovery in his opinion

Otherwise you’ll probably get bothered with massage rollers or a massage gun

Sgt. Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

hah, yeah, this happens to the two of you a lot-

look, I see Kyle and I see him having fun in the bedroom

he is DOWN to try new stuff, basically whenever wherever, baby

If you have sex with this man, you’re bound to get more flexible, that’s a fact for sure, I will not be taking any goddamn notes

I can see him ogling you while you do yoga or pilates and it escalating from there

especially if you shake your ass a little at him

Downward dog man, I’m telling you.

And how could he say no to you?

He’s eating you out until you tell him to stop making you wait and fuck you

and Kyle, good, loyal, absolutely whipped for his girl Kyle, does not hesitate to slide his cock in and “give you a good stretch”

“Deep breath, darling- fuck- yeah-”

but when your legs start to cramp and you yelp?

He jumps because he is scared he hurt you before he reacts.

He’ll help you up and get you moving before getting you some gatorade or something like it

Ushers you into a bath and rubs your back for you as you soak

Will definitely still get you off later and just insist you have to relax

Yoga sex will definitely be off the table for a while, despite the fun because Gaz is just too afraid he’ll hurt you again

Sgt. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

this nasty dog of a man-

I digress

there’s a book of things he wants to try out with you

so he is always delighted when you bring up something new to try out, his shy little birdie, he’ll tease you about being the horndog in the relationship

literally twists you into any crazy position you consent to (like the pretzel or whatever? looking at that shit gives me cramps) 

kamasutra books have nothing on the brain of this man

it doesn’t hurt that he… does his research.

anyways

if you let him do that shit to you? Oh the satisfaction on that man’s face

Dirty grin on his face the entire time that only falls when you cum or when he does- however, I feel like Soap gets sloppy when he is about to cum, sloppy, careless and definitely a little unhinged

so when your legs protests and he is in the throes of it, you have got to forgive him bc your pussy is sucking his soul out of his body

but even in a pussy-drunk state, as soon as he is back in his body when you whimper and start to cringe at the pain, he’ll start stretching your leg out 

he’ll use the length of his body to prop it up and stretch you out, going full on football physical therapist, despite his dick still softening inside of your pussy

he might get hard again, especially if he starts rubbing over the spot and you start whimpering and relaxing, letting him treat you well and relaxing into it

definitely hard again when you shoot him a satisfied, relaxed look at the immediate relief he provides for you

“We’ll have to stretch you out hen, just to be sure you don’t cramp up again, yeah?”

Trust, you will be stretched very unprofessionally- kinks and new positions are discovered that night

[jungkoode]

I am in LOVE with how you answered this anon, oh my god, the studies, the quotes, the careful analysis and intentions that show just how much you put effort in every single detail of your work and it definitely shows in how much of a pleasure it is to read. I do get where they are coming from because this is definitely an intense scene and if someone does not have real life experience of this type of consensual psychological play and only have a theoretical understanding, through fanfic or through theory explanations of the BDSM scene it might give a bit of a whiplash.

I do think thought it is a matter of media literacy and knowing how to read between the lines. Not saying that this person is an idiot, but I think they missed the little moments and interactions that showed where Chip could have chosen to opt out of the play. During texting for example, she's the one who brought up her underwear to taunt him, and he seems reluctant to go back fully into the play until he actually snaps and give her the 20 min warning. Hes the first to bring up the fact shes drunk and shes the one correcting him saying shes only tipsy. Hoseok is described as a not only exceptionally observant character but is also himself a doctor, and when shes the one asking him if he has concerns about her alcohol consumption by reading between the lines it seems to me as though he has observed her enough to deduce she can fully consent. The thing is, this entire series is based on a certain variation of consensual non consent. Not the explicit, rape role-play scene nor the explicit free use relationship which what most people think is CNC, but the CNC that happens in most kinky relationships where you know your limits and your partner limits and with experience you know how to play with them just the way they like (and i speak from experience lmao, the mental space and observation is a big part of this type of play and yeah at the beginning it requires communication, but dom/sub is as much of a mental/emotional thing as it is in actions). If thats not someone cup of tea, it's fine, but it's definitely not out of character for this universe or these two people. I said it in a previous ask, but i also felt uncomfortable at certain moments, but thats normal and its because i'm supposed to because that is how I like my experience ! I know myself enough to know my limits and the type of self-care I need to truly enjoy this reading experience and I do. This is a punishment scene, has been set up as a punishment scene for the last two chapters and is as deliciously intense as it gets. This is power play, and if you like your power play completely comfortable and not challenging and safe and with explicit everything, that is completely okay, but there are a lot of people who like being tested, being teased, being taunted, being forbidden, punished etc during their play and it is as much of a fun play as yours. Yes, if this happened in real life, it would be different, because it would be fcking real life and we are reading about realistic characters in fictional situations, no one is truly getting hurt. Yeah, if I was Kiara and i saw my tipsy friend leave a bar looking horny as fuck with her brother's best friend BRO i would unleash hell on that man for daring to touch my friend. But it's not, I am reading a carefully crafted story of pretenses, power, secrets and sexual tension. The characters are having a play and us readers are having another one through the emotions we are going through and that is, if i'm not mistaken, the core of Kiki's writing style and her intentions.

Oh, we love Roo. We love intelligent, well-thought-out, and nuanced media discussion. We love people who actually read between the lines instead of making knee-jerk moralizing statements. <3

First of all—Roo, you nailed it. The distinction you made between the popularized, fanfic-level understanding of CNC vs. how actual real-world power play functions is so important, because there is this common misconception that CNC only means extreme, explicit non-consent roleplay (e.g., “No, stop,” “I don’t want this,” etc.). But that’s not what’s happening here. There is no non-consent in this scene.

What is happening here is a push-pull dynamic where Y/N is actively testing limits, and Hoseok is responding accordingly. That’s literally their entire relationship. That’s the premise of the fic. If you’ve read the story properly and not just cherry-picked the explicit parts, you’d know that this is how they operate. The tension, the teasing, the subtle negotiations through body language, the pushing until one of them finally snaps—that’s the whole thing.

Hoseok’s observance and control—he is not just any dom; he’s written as meticulously attentive, psychologically analytical, and trained in observation. And let’s emphasize the part about him being a doctor. This man spends his life reading people’s physiological and psychological states, so the idea that he wouldn’t be hyper-aware of Y/N’s mental and physical state in that moment is just… not supported by the text.

The tipping point moment? Where she’s the one who corrects him when he assumes she’s too drunk? That’s not a throwaway line. That is intentional characterization. That is a direct contrast to how an actual coercive situation would unfold. Hoseok is the one who brings up the alcohol first. If anything, he was trying to check her limits, and she’s the one who tells him she’s fully aware. He only proceeds once she affirms it.

So again, where exactly is the issue?

There is this fandom tendency to reduce BDSM and power exchange into sterile, theoretical bullet points rather than recognizing that long-term dynamics function differently than one-off scenes. In established dynamics, there’s a fluid, evolving understanding of limits that doesn’t always require formal, pre-negotiated discussions every single time. If that’s what you need in your personal experience, that’s fine! But that’s not the only way kink works.

Not all readers enjoy the same level of intensity, and that’s perfectly fine, but to project personal discomfort as a universal moral failing of the text is not it. If you’re not comfortable with this type of dynamic, you don’t have to read it. That’s the entire point of content warnings and author notes. But just because it’s not your thing doesn’t mean it’s a failure of writing.

Now, on to Kiara. This is another example of how people flatten relationships into extremes instead of recognizing that there are different levels of friendships in real life. Kiara is not Y/N’s ride-or-die best friend. She’s the type of friend you go out with, drink with, have fun with—but not someone deeply involved in your emotional life. That is a very real and common type of 20-something friendship dynamic, but people expect every friend in fiction to either be a soulmate-level confidant or an irrelevant side character.

And Kiara does know more about Hoseok than people are assuming. It’s implied through Y/N’s reaction to Kiara clocking her texting him. Kiara is not oblivious. She’s just not emotionally invested enough to intervene—which is also realistic. Not every 20-something friend group is a highly attuned emotional support network. Some people are just fun drinking buddies—and that’s okay. That’s why she’s not super worried when she sees Y/N with Mike, and also why she doesn’t intervene when Hoseok shows up. She’s aware of him in a casual sense (as hinted at in the earlier texts when Y/N insults his faceless contact picture), and that’s enough context for her to not see anything alarming when Y/N leaves with him.

You also touched on something that is literally the core of my writing style—that fiction is meant to evoke emotions, to challenge, to make you uncomfortable in a way that you enjoy because it’s safe. The fact that you can recognize that—that you understand that it’s deliberate—is everything. We read fiction to feel things. And Off-Labels is specifically crafted to play with tension, anticipation, and discomfort in a way that is meant to be delicious. If this kind of power play isn’t for someone, that’s completely fine. But that’s a preference issue, not a story flaw.

So, Roo—you get it. You articulated everything I try to emphasize in my writing. My stories cannot be read superficially. They are deeply psychological, built on layers of interaction, character history, and emotional subtext. If you miss those layers, you are missing the entire foundation of what makes the story work.

THIS IS NOT A SECRET!!! It’s literally in my ‘read before asking’ section. 😭😭

And for the people who are somehow shocked by this scene in Chapter 10—what have you been reading? Either you only skimmed for the explicit parts, or you completely failed to process the slow-burn buildup that established exactly this dynamic. Because none of this should be surprising if you were actually paying attention.

[pbaz7]

early as hell so let's go and pray my thing doesn't send halfway thru

sexual content

concerningly happy rn

“He still hasn’t texted you back, has he?”

and why would a man be there....

You’re right I don’t like him. I sure as hell don’t respect him. He’s a bitch.”

so paige is already down bad to start i see

I’m saying it because watching you settle for this shit—this dude who doesn’t even realize what he’s got—it drives me insane.”

god she's in love isn't she

“It’s not that easy, Paige.”

so you're telling me she's in denial about being gay and liking Paige so she's dating a shitty man to compensate?

“Why wouldn’t I pretty girl? I’m your best friend”

you can't call someone pretty girl and your best friend in the same sentence I fear

It wasn’t the kind of love Paige wished for, the kind that had been eating away at her for months now.

lover p is so canon

Azzi’s legs rested comfortably across Paige’s lap as she leaned back against the headboard, scrolling through her phone.

so homoerotic friendship? this sucks.

You know, if you keep holding my hand like this, I might start thinking you’re trying to tell me something.”

real subtle Paige

“I mean, does he even know how to touch you like this?”

sorry what? pardon me? I must've read that wrong.

“You deserve someone who knows how to make you feel good.

these damn double meanings

if you ever want to find out what it’s like to be with someone who actually knows what they’re doing…” Her voice dropped lower, her words hanging in the charged air between them. “You know where to find me.”

Paige. the flirting is so excessive I fear she doesn't want you (yet)

still holding Paige’s hand

ouch. refusing to let go of her bsf's hands while hugging her bf

“Damn, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to steal my girl man.”

wow so the man does have a brain

“If I wanted your girlfriend,” she said evenly, her voice dripping with confidence, “I would have her.”

but you do want her currently and also not have her I fear

Paige’s lips brushed dangerously close to Azzi’s neck as she whispered, her voice low, “I’ll catch you later, Az.”

IN FRONT OF CAM? IN FRONT OF CAM! in front of cam. starting to feel bad for the man

“Later pretty girl,” Paige replied smoothly, not sparing Cam another glance as she walked out the door.

lmao she's relentless I kinda love it

“That’s not normal, Azzi!”

at least someone recognizes it

“So you’re telling me she wouldn’t fuck you if you gave her the chance?”

it's azzi fudd. that's not a question babe

“She doesn’t want to fuck me, Cameron.”

yeah and the sky isn't blue

Paige absolutely would, and Azzi couldn’t help but wonder for the briefest of moments what it might feel like if she let her.

so let's try it out and see...

“Rightt. Because he’s such a busy guy. Averaging 100 claps at practice right?”

Paige let the man stand up

“Yeah. Me.”

no one can say she's not bold

“I know exactly what I’m saying. You’re just in denial. I know he doesn’t touch you the way you deserve to be touched. Make you feel the way you deserve to feel. You’ve complained about it.”

personally im sold.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,”

I'm not hearing a no

“I promise you I could make you forget he even exists, Az.”

oh she sure can babe. she's already doing it in other universes

Paige casually went back to her desk, acting like she hadn’t just turned Azzi’s world upside down.

and she just walked away. cool. awesome.

most of the girls Paige had been with recently looked... well, a lot like her.

yeah Paige's type irl is defintley azzi

“It’s not about type. It’s more so about what she wants.”

Nika you messy hoe

Nika just shook her head. “Sure you don’t.”

nika is actually me

She wasn’t sure if her response slipped out because she was tipsy, tired, or just tired of pretending. “You.”

okay damn sure

“I’m not telling you.”

you saying that just told all of us including her I fear

“You sure you don’t want to tell me?” Paige murmured, her voice carrying an edge of something that made Azzi’s stomach flip.

the way you've written p in this story is so attractive I can't🫠

Damn, she thought, her breath catching for reasons she didn’t want to admit.

break up with your boyfriend ho

smirking like she already knew every thought in Azzi’s head

babe she definitely does

She’d be so fucking good in bed

Jesus azzi warn a person before saying that oml I gasped

Azzi’s mind filled with images she shouldn’t be entertaining—images of what it might be like to let Paige do whatever she wanted, to let her hands and lips erase everything else, to lose herself completely in whatever Paige had to offer.

author omg u LISTENED to the anons cuz this is so freaky (I was one of the anons)

A crush on a teammate, maybe?”

Paige and her god damn ego

You sound awfully confident for someone who’s never even seen me blush.”

id bet money you're blushing right now

“Yeah,” Paige said, her voice low and steady. “I can see that.”

didn't even try to deny it im crying

“Because I can’t have you.”

oh. I feel like I've been stabbed.

Paige’s lips curved into a soft, almost wistful smile, her eyes flickering to Azzi’s lips before returning to her gaze. “A long time.”

wait so a tear is on my cheek. like im not lying I'm serious. a literal tear. I can imagine her smiling but having that look of painful longing in her eyes

Finally, Azzi moved, closing the unbearable gap between them.

this has been a few thousand words but it feels like the most lengthy and painful experience and we're not even done yet

Paige’s hand moved instinctively, sliding up to cup Azzi’s jaw, her thumb brushing lightly against her skin.

wait... what about Azzi's man. I mean don't get me wrong Im not fond of the kid but

the few teammates who’d been sitting in front of them at the table exchanged wide-eyed glances before quietly walking away, sensing that whatever was happening here was private, and very much overdue.

the teammates watching. im dying laughing.

That’s when Nika swooped in, a balled-up napkin in her hand.

leave it to Nika to do god's work

Azzi’s calm confidence was almost intoxicating, and it left Paige momentarily speechless.

fudd around and find out.

Before Paige could process what was happening, Azzi’s hands were on her shoulders, pushing her back against the mattress with a gentle motion.

confident and cocky Azzi my fav.

Their movements were messy but urgent, a mixture of tongues and teeth as they explored each other.

I can only imagine how painful this is gonna be for p if they don't work out. she's been yearning for too long

“Stop overthinking it,” she said, her lips curving into that teasing smirk Azzi found so intoxicating. “I got you.”

the things id do to be azzi fudd

“You don’t gotta rush, baby,” Paige murmured, her voice low and reassuring as her thumb stroked Azzi’s knuckles. “I got it.”

good lord. i can't even- I don't- jesus

Paige wasn’t just touching her body; she was touching a part of Azzi that had been craving more than just physical connection.

oh my god why do I feel so much pain right now

“Just let me take care of you,” Paige whispered, her lips brushing against Azzi’s skin as her hands began to explore.

she talks all of her shit when they're besties and once they get to fucking she's just a sweet perfect angel to az

Azzi’s hands gripped the sheets, her fingers curling into the fabric as soft sounds escaped her lips–a breathless, needy whisper that slipped out before she could even process it. “Paige…”

azzi in this story would be the type of girl to accidentally say Paige's name while she's with cameron

Paige lowered herself again as she placed soft kisses against Azzi’s chest, slipping her hand behind the girl to undo her bra and toss it to the side.

Azzi's prediction is about to get proved right

“You need to be patient,” Paige whispered, her voice low, a teasing smile forming.

you're paige bueckers I don't think she can

“I can’t,” Azzi admitted, her voice breathless

lamo she lit hasn't even done anything she's so down bad its funny

“Move your hands again,” she said softly, “and I’m starting over.”

yes maam

not reacting to the smut but oh my lord author. you've outdone yourself with this one.

Never had she been completely undone by someone like she had just been by Paige.

god they're so perfect for each other

“I didn’t think I could… feel like that.”

well you were with a man previously so...

a small box she’d pulled down from a shelf.

is that... what I think it is.

"Can I keep going?" Paige asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

yes.

going silent again let's go round two

“Told you,” she murmured, a teasing grin spreading across her face as she glanced at Azzi through hooded eyes.

only Paige would say this first thing after fucking someone

Paige gently lifted one of Azzi’s legs, holding her ankle as she began to wipe the towel along her skin, carefully.

I literally just want to be loved guys. is this too much to ask for.

Paige glanced up at her, a soft smile curving her lips as she shook her head. “Yes I do,” she said simply, her voice low.

god they're so fucking annoyingly cute.

“Good morning,” Paige said. “Figured I owed you breakfast after last night.”

girl you do not owe anything just gave the most toe curling head I think you're good

Paige chuckled as she pulled back, setting the tray on the bed. “Careful. You’re gonna give me a big head.”

because you definitely don't have one already...

Paige smiled, leaning over to kiss Azzi on the temple. “I got you.”

always.

Meeting his gaze directly, she said it plainly: “I was fucking Paige.”

LMAO SHE WASTED NO TIME.

“I. Was. Fucking. Paige.”

azzi babe I don't think you can just say that

“You can’t be friends with her anymore,”

he has to be joking.. right

“Oh my god,” she said, catching her breath and looking at him with pure disbelief. “You’re actually stupid.”

CLOCK IT AZZI

“Well, good, because I cheated on you.”

real shocker there

“Good for you, Cameron. I’m sure those three minutes were absolutely unforgettable for you.”

stood up and applauded

Without hesitation, Paige stepped forward, her tall frame towering over Cam.

she's literally taller than a football player. god I love tall women.

“How was it last night though?” Paige asked, her tone low and laced with that confidence Azzi could never resist.

she just broke up with her boyfriend because of how good you were in bed Paige. if I had to take a WILD guess id say it was pretty great

Paige smiled against her lips, pulling her even closer. “Good,” she said simply, her voice full of quiet assurance.

no angst? no breakup because of media attention or performance worries? thank you author thank you

let it be clear that I started this three mins after you posted and got interrupted after interruption after interruption

seriously this was so good tho I just cannot get enough of your writing

and don't even get me started on the smut.🫠

ly always author

-🍉

early as hell so let's go and pray my thing doesn't send halfway thru

you got it out all in one go this time !!!

sexual content

concerningly happy rn

whore !

and why would a man be there....

trust me when i saw the request i was surprised too

real subtle Paige

she doesn’t know what that means in this story

I'm not hearing a no

i don’t think azzi said no the entire story

Nika you messy hoe

i love writing messy Nika

this has been a few thousand words but it feels like the most lengthy and painful experience and we're not even done yet

it was not meant to be painful i’m so sorry 😭😭

azzi in this story would be the type of girl to accidentally say Paige's name while she's with cameron

1000%

ily 🍉 i’m so glad you enjoyed it 😭i gotta start responding to specific parts of your reactions because they send me every time

[cookinguptales]

guess it's time for the vent post

(note: I will be okay. usually my ketamine treatments help with pmdd symptoms, but occasionally a treatment won't hit quite right and things will get worse for a couple days. I'll be okay, though, I'm just feeling... well, a cocktail of self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness, and overthinking. lmao)

anyway, full disclosure, this won't be a very nice or happy post and is probably the kind of thing I would've posted in a locked LJ entry back in the day but that doesn't really exist in the same way anymore so just bear with me. I need to just. get it out somewhere.

lately I've really been worrying that I'm not capable of being in a normal relationship anymore. like, I was never great at social interaction, but I'll admit that things really took a fucking nosedive after a particularly bad relationship with a woman who. well, I don't think it's a night for particulars. she was an adult and I wasn't. I was very lost, very lonely, and very sick back then, and she really enjoyed being the only person I felt like I could count on.

I... was wrong, I guess.

and... idk, I've definitely had a lot of nights since then (and days with therapists) where I try to sort through how exactly that affected me and my ability to form meaningful romantic relationships. I have a difficult time feeling safe with people. honestly, I did even before her (I had... a very fucked-up home life) but it was harder after. and let's just say that a lot of my friends at the time turned out to be... less than friendly when the shit hit the fan.

so... yeah. hard for me to open up to people in a meaningful way, I guess. like, I can tell strangers about my anxieties, but it becomes harder for me to do once we're friends. and even then, I guess I can trust people with my thoughts but not my... idk, emotional safety.

once when I was pretty tipsy I told a friend that I didn't think I could love the kind of person who would actually love me back, and I still worry that it's true. I allow myself feelings very rarely, and when I do, it's always for people who don't feel the same way.

I never... like... set out to do it... I don't think it's a conscious thing. I fell for straight girls a few times. then bi girls with boyfriends. I did eventually make it to single lesbians, but they always ended up either getting girlfriends, not wanting to date at all, or just not wanting to date me.

to be clear, I don't blame any of them. but I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should be blaming me...? like, I never knew that any of them were straight or coupled or uninterested when I developed feelings myself. but I wonder if subconsciously, I picked up on it...?

for a while now, I've been genuinely worried that My Type is girls who aren't into me. :')

like, not consciously. but subconsciously, am I just picking up on the fact that they're not attracted to me? or they're safely ensconced in another relationship? or they are comfortably not dating at all? but either way, they're not looking at me like a potential partner, and I like that?

some days I feel like I've mostly healed from everything that happened, and other days I feel like I'm just going to be broken and fucked-up and unlovable forever. like, jesus christ, have I learned to associate people who actually want me with danger? do I only feel safe with people who aren't attracted to me? is that why that's the only kind of person I ever want to date?

good god, that's fucked up.

I mean, the only two alternatives, really, are that I am just incredibly unlucky or the meaner parts of me are right and people really just don't want a fat cripple with a mediocre personality.

the latter probably isn't entirely true. men are easy, unfortunately, and I'd be happier if they didn't want me.

(and then you run into the special kind of anger that happens when a woman that a man thought was beneath them actually turns them down, oof. guess they thought the girl with the cane would be more desperate, huh?)

and I've been on a few dating app dates with girls who seemed to like me well enough, but like. just no chemistry whatsoever.

is the special spark??? a woman not wanting me???

food for fucking thought.

anyway, I guess I just kind of avoided thinking about it for a long time but I'm in my mid30s now and it kind of feels like I have avoided things for too long now! that's pretty old to have never had a long-term relationship! other than with the fucking creep who wanted to ~teach me about sex~ back when I was young and less disabled and maybe still worth something!

I guess that was uncalled for, but some days I really do feel like there was a window and boy did I fucking miss it. like everyone else had this chance to learn their way around a romance and I spent mine hooked up to hospital wires and texting with a grown-ass woman who fed on youth.

I recognize that a key part of grooming -- and abusive relationships in general -- is their ability to make you feel like they are the only person who will ever love you. I also recognize that these people are very good at finding the one kid in the room who believes at their core that they will never be loved. (or even make it to age 20, I guess. didn't know if the whole intermittent blindness thing was going to kill me or not back then.)

but goddamn do I still feel like she hollowed me out and took all the parts of me that were lovable with her. like maybe she will be the only woman who ever wants me, and that's fucking horrifying to think about.

there are nights where you just stare at the wall and wonder what made you so damn attractive to pedophiles, y'know? I knew enough at that age to shake off the men, but her? didn't even see it coming.

and I suppose there are the worse nights, the ones where you wonder if normal, well-adjusted, not-creepy people never would have wanted you even if you weren't too damaged to carry on a real relationship. like maybe I was insufferable enough without the ptsd. catnip for creeps and not much else.

damn, dude, why am I so good at pulling men who follow me home from the bus stop but not women who actually care about my well-being. that's the question.

idk. I feel like at this point, like... 75% of me has come to terms with it. like, I guess it's just not something that happens to everybody. not everyone finds someone who loves them and who they love in return. not everyone is cut out for that life.

but then I look at my own writing and the way I just keep doing it, I just keep latching onto broken characters who have had the best parts of them hollowed out, who believe that they are unlovable, and I write a story that says no, you're not. Here, I've made someone for you who loves you wholly and desperately, even broken as you are.

and I feel like that must be the last 25%, huh? or at least the part of me that wants to comfort broken creatures, whether those creatures are characters I made up or ones I didn't or my readers or the people I read about on the news or maybe a 15yo kid who just wanted someone to fucking love her.

I want to take care of her so badly now. I want to love her in a good way, not the selfish kind that takes and takes and takes until there is nothing left. But I guess I just don't know how.

I realized the other day that I just wrote a book that I would have loved at that age. Now I kind of feel like I've been writing bedtime stories for a ghost.

I'll be okay. I always am. It's just... a rough night. They come and they have always come and they will always come and all I can do is write.

Just wish it were something more comforting this time. :')

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hi S! Congrats on your finals. I also finish mine! I’m gonna be talking Evanstan to you now. I know Chris likes American Football and with the European Soccer Cup. I was wondering if Sebastian watches it. Romania just lost to Belgium!! Sorry I’m Belgium and Im a bit tipsy So while Im really glad we won. I find it sad that Sebs birth country lost. It imagine Chris and Seb watching soccer together, after all the games Chris forced Seb to watch. And Chris not understanding the rules, because wtf are those and the players rolling in the grass with every touch. I stg they should start an acting carreer. Except for Mbappe. His nose was crOOCKED like damnnn what a bloody mess. Sorry for this mess! Luv u ❤️❤️

Thanks! Right back at you, too--good job for finishing!

*rubs my hands together* Evanstan, yes, I'm always down to talk about them 😏 And while I can't say I know much of anything about soccer or American football for that matter, lmao, I can say that I LOVE this. It's so fucking cute! Even though, to my knowledge, Seb hasn't spoken about actively following sports, I can totally see that he'd want to tune in, if nothing else, than to support his country. Plus, exactly, why not get a little tipsy and loose? Just enjoy it.

Relax and have a good time on a weekend, blowing off steam from the couch in front of the TV.

Besides, Sebastian finds Chris so endearing when he's cheering and happy and rowdy over his favorite team, so why not try it out from the other side? It looks like fun. Even if yeah... the team Seb's (and by extension, Chris, too, is) rooting for don't win. But that's okay.

With the score not in their favor, Seb will just pretend to care more than he really does, pouting, so Chris will try and cheer him up with cuddles, and, suddenly, it's all better.

...adding some Chris gifs because he's a dorky frat boy and Seb and I love him to death, lmao

(P.S. you might be interested in this evanstan au I made up with stunt performer Chris and actor Seb, somehow it feels relevant)

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

its funny cause i give my parents updates on this tournament, and the only frame of reference they have is the bands/people i'm into generally. (my mum says "well, you should be glad i don't know who you're talking about because that would mean i'm trying to be hip and cool" lmao). anyways

i think its soooo funny because like. my parents obviously know who oasis is. i have a poster i got from knebworth 22 in my room (place of pride for real), and i've played them in my care a LOT. my mum has a very vague idea of who HIM is because i've got a shirt for them (heart pentagram is such a sick design and i will die on this hill). i showed the two of them to my mum and she was like "obviously liam. the other one looks too much like a girl." and on one hand it was like "you don't understand." but on the other hand, validation. cause like. yeah. liam's gorgeous obviously. but then like. i showed her other picture of ville valo cause i totally voted for him (i'm so sorry liam but how could i not) and she GOT IT.

anyways, dad's upset mariah carey won because "she sings that hideous christmas song and anyone is better than her" and also, he's of the opinion that i should have immediately wanted to vote keanu reeves instead of holding out until i knew who he was up against (still not over liam vs. ville valo the ultimate betrayal and sadness lol)

dad's opinion is also that axl rose should win the next round solely based on the fact that he knows who he is, but really, what does he know, cause he made fun of me rooting for jarvis with my entire being.

idk where i'm going with this sorry. i love this tournament, and hilariously i'm more invested in this than the original bracket, but that's cause my most beloved albums got eliminated soooooo quickly (seeing the same in the 2000s bracket and i tell myself that my taste is just more niche rather than bad)

-from the very tipsy anon that sent something in quite awhile ago. very sorry that you only get these very long winded anons when i've had a few

n.e.ways. this blogs great and i got a kick out of you saying you'd integrate the trent reznor fuck or be like teenage girl thing into your belief system.

also, i agree with the anon that said than radiohead man aged real nice where as damon didn't. given, i last saw him with a mullet, and thought he aged like spoilt milk, but radiohead man (remembered his name Thom! aged real nice)

also, as much as creep is like the stereotypical radiohead song and kinda considered overplayed, it UNDERSTANDS ME and also me as a teen. props to him. idk if i can bring myself to vote for him though (not cause he's kinda weird looking - odd looking people are HOT ok) but cause i had a devestating crush on a guy who was obessed with radiohead and he literally told me that i give off "emotionally unavailable vibes and its cool to make friends with someone so similar to me" and it ruined me emotionally for a good like 5 months)

also, props to oasis for having supersonic as one of their top songs, cause hell yeah Give Me Gin and Tonic! literally my drink of choice lmaooooo

once again, very sorry for very long anon, had another g+t while writing this (that makes 6!)

have a very good evening! i adore this blog! and i think youre hella cool and i could never imagine trying to rum a tournament and answer all the asks that you do (there's reason i'm anon unless i have the amazing urge to send pics in aid of my very special blorbo)

<3

omg no this is lovely actually

Apparently my blog has already met the parents?? I'm so proud ahaha and your parents have some of the funniest takes. I love reading these long asks, it's like a sneak peek into the minds of my viewers and honestly means the world to me. Enjoy your gin and tonic, anon, and a wonderful evening to you as well <3

[toomuchracket]

Have you ever written flatmate first official real date? Or meeting the parents once you are an official couple?

yes to the former, and kinda for the latter but not matty re-meeting YOUR mum! tbf she absolutely loves him anyway so she's hyped as fuck lol - he gets a bigger hug than you do when she first sees you both after you get together. like, that's her boy lmfao; when you're all slightly tipsy at dinner she turns and points at you like "don't you even THINK about hurting him, by the way", and he just laughs while you're like "ME? whose mother are you? it's supposed to be the other way around!", and she's like "he's LOVELY he would NEVER". matty kisses your head and says "yeah, but your daughter's the loveliest. my lovely girl", and your mum's like "ew lol" - she winks after it and says "i'm joking. it's nice to see you together after all this time. i always hoped you'd end up like this - me and your mum used to talk about it, actually, matty, wondering how long it would take you to see sense. i will say, though, no grandchildren until after everyone's finished their degrees, please - let me worry about one thing at a time, kids" lmao. everyone's happy! it's sweet <3