#yeah i'll put your magic in me wink wink

[terrestrialnoob]

"Hey, Bats, can I have a word?" John asked as everyone started filling out of the meeting room.

Batman gave him the side eye. "You don't usually come to meetings."

John raised his hands in surrender. "Caught me, I'm really here to ask you a favor."

Batman looked over by the door, where it looked like Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Flash were there waiting for him. But, he turned back to John and asked "What do you want?"

John tried not to cringe at the tone in his voice, telling himself that's just what a tired after meeting Batman sounded like. "I need help with a puzzle box."

John pulled said box out of his coat pocket and held it up for Batman to take, but the man examined it closely without touching it. "What's in it?"

"A world-ending weapon, probably. There's like, a 10% chance it's a world-ending monster." John helpfully provided.

"And you want to open it..."

"Yeah..." John sighed then explained, "It's part of a pair, with this-" John pulled a gear shaped dial puzzle out of his pocket. "But, since I solved this one, that one wont work for me."

"Why do you want to open it?"

"Because, whoever solves the puzzles control it."

"But you've been magically locked out of solving this one." Batman pointed at the box still in John's hand.

"Yeah, so I need someone good at solving puzzles -you- and who's dabbled enough in magic to effect the box -you again- and who I trust not to use whatever's in it to destroy the world."

Batman gave him the patented bat-interrogation glare. "You still haven't explained why you want to release this weapon."

"It's a fail safe. Like the two keys thing governments put in front of their nuclear bombs. According to the texts I read, this isn't the only way to release the whatever-it-is, but once we solve both these puzzles, you and I will have control of it and absolutely no one else can get it." John wiggled the box at Batman. "We do this now, we don't have to pray I can track down all the alternate methods, and neither of us can use it without the other's permission."

Batman closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're certain this is the best method to ensure the safety of as many people as possible?"

"Yep."

"And you're certain I'm the right person you want as the other half of your fail safe? Not another magic user?"

"I feel the degree of separation will be useful in determining what situations call for using a world-ending weapon."

Batman let another deep sigh and took the puzzle box.

"You two staying late?" Superman asked as John and Batman sat back down at the table. Him, Wonder Woman, and the Flash came over to check on them.

"Sorry, we can get dinner together another time." Batman said without taking his eyes off the box. Each side had nine squares, each with a rune on them that glowed when pressed. There was a pattern, John was sure, but after he'd solved the dial puzzle, the runes where blurred and the squares didn't light up when he pressed them.

"How long do you think your puzzle thing will take?" Flash asked, looking over Batman's shoulder as he seemed to solve the puzzle quickly. Or so John hoped, again, he couldn't actually see what kind of progress Bats was having.

"Ten minutes, tops." Nightwing interrupted. Batman did glance at him, but then went right back to work on the box. "We still have plenty of time to go to Bobby's before closing."

"I thought you had better things to do?" Superman asked.

"And pass up on burgers with you? Never." Nightwing said with a wink. "Is John joining us when this is done?"

"I'll have to take whatever comes out of the box back to the house of Mystery." John said, though burgers did sound good at the moment.

Silence lapsed into the room as they watched Batman work. And ten minutes later, it was done. The puzzle box glowed and one of it's faces folded into itself, leaving a hole shaped just like the gear puzzle. Batman held it out and John dropped the gear into it. The room filled with a bright flash, and once it faded, sitting on the conference table between John and Batman was a toddler. He had black hair and bright blue eyes and freckles scattered across his face. He reached out a little hand towards them and started babbling.

"Fuck."

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || Putting Lotion On

Mature audience only, even though this is not smut it still has some explicit/mature themes, minors DNI

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

CHAN: 

It had been a while since you and Chan were last intimate, with everything that had been going on at work for you and between his schedules neither of you had made a lot of time for each other until tonight. The two of you had spent the entire day together, gone on the most romantic lunch date and even a nice night in on the sofa nothing could have been better. But it was now that was sticking in Chan's mind, you'd asked him to apply some lotion to your back and his fingers were working magic on your skin as you let out the softest whimpers that were like music to his ears.

"Thank you, baby," you hummed tiredly before rolling over onto your side and snuggling into the sheets, Chan was left a little stunned as he stared at where you had originally been sitting.

"What? You're going to sleep?" His voice cracked slightly as he watched you get comfortable. How could you just go to sleep after turning him on so much with the simple task of putting on lotion,

"Yeah, I have to be up at 4 I have a meeting. Aren't you?" You let out a small giggle, You knew he had to be at work early in the morning and even though his sleep schedule was bad you still had expected him to try and get some sleep.

"No...I-I have a problem." You rolled over a little to face him and he was blushing deeply, you frowned a little at him and he shifted to hide his crotch,

"Chan? Did you think I was asking you to do that so we could..."

"Yes." He answered since you were struggling to find the right way of asking him this question,

"Baby, I- I thought you'd be too tired," You sat up, reaching your hand out and placing it gently on his shoulder as he blushed even more. Was he a pig for just assuming that you'd sleep with him? It had been so long he was practically ready to beg for you,

"I'm never too tired for you," He met your gaze slowly and you smirked at him, leaning closer and gently placing your lips on his neck.

"Well in that case, how about I help you with your "problem"?" You whispered before biting down on his ear softly and dragging him closer to you.

MINHO:

"I've had the most stressful day," you mumbled as you walked into the shared bedroom to see Minho sitting on the bed waiting for you.

"What happened?" He chuckled, his eyes lingering on you as you walked around in nothing but a towel after your long shower. The two of you would do this every day, you'd catch up about work and sit and bitch to one another about everything that had been bothering you.

"One of the interns passed out and smashed their head on the corner counter. I'd rushed him to the hospital but only after getting blood everywhere. Then my boss wanted me to run errands all day," you mumbled before Minho stood up and made his way over to you, smirking at you in the mirror.

"How about I make you feel better?" He suggested with a darkened look in his eyes.

"Yeah? How?" He simply winked at you before reaching for your favourite brand of moisturizer and pulling the towel off your body. 

"Go and sit on the edge of the bed," Your whole body was heated up with the sudden attention but you moved to the edge of the bed, sitting down and letting Minho work his magic on you. 

The whole time his hands gently massaged the moisturizer into your skin you couldn't help but get more and more turned on, your whole body shivering with desire for him. But just as quickly as the touching started it had stopped and you let out a small whine of protest,

"I have to go, I'll see you in the morning though." Minho kissed your cheek and you stared at him,

"What?"

"We have the Pyjama party ASMR video to shoot tonight...I told you about it." You stared at him completely dumbfounded, you thought his applying lotion was his way of getting you ready to be in the mood and now all of a sudden you were being left high and dry

"But I thought you were...g-getting ready to, you know?" You gestured toward you both and then back to the bed and he chuckled a little.

"You thought I was trying to turn you on? Baby we both know I don't need lotion for that," He winked but you didn't even entertain him with a giggle, you glared at him as he smirked and left you alone promising to make it up to you tomorrow.

CHANGBIN:

When you'd suggested rubbing lotion into Changbin's skin he'd been a little taken aback by the suggestion but he wasn't going to turn it down, even now as you massaged the moisturizer into his skin he was letting out small whimpers and moans. It was turning him on a bunch and he knew you knew what you were doing to him, it had to have been the whole reason you'd suggested this "pamper night" to him in the first place.

"I'm going to go and shower," You told him as you finally finished putting the last lot of lotion into his skin, gently placing a small kiss on his shoulder as he let out a small whine of protest.

"You just spent all that time getting me hard and now you're leaving?" He stared at you as you made your way to the ensuite door, freezing when you heard him asking this.

"I did what?" You giggled a little, looking at him as you began to notice the pitch in the sheets and you bit down on your lip a little.

"Come on, don't tell me you didn't intentionally turn me on. We both know the kind of game you're playing," He winked at you and it felt as though your whole body was on fire. The two of you hadn't been intimate for a while, things had just slowly fizzled out and you'd placed that down to work stress or other complications in life.

"I turned you on?" You whispered a little shocked, all you'd done was apply some lotion to him so that his skin wouldn't begin to go dry or crack in places.

"You didn't mean to?" There was a complete switch up in Changbin's behaviour, the once cocky man was now blushing and whimpering as he tried to explain himself to you.

"I didn't mean I wanted to...I-I just...I thought that was your intention, we don't have to-" He could barely finish his sentence before you kissed him deeply and roughly, practically throwing yourself into his arms as he took your clothes off.

HYUNJIN:

Hyunjin was letting out a small whine as you applied pressure to his thigh, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to ignore the cramping that was happening. All week long he'd been in pain with a sore thigh muscle and you'd been doing everything you could to make him feel better, Tonight seemed to be a little bit different, the cramping wasn't so bad but he was getting majorly turned on whenever you pressed the lotion into his skin.

"Hyunjin?" You giggled as you noticed his shorts beginning to grow tighter with each passing second and he looked down at you with a smirk on his lips.

"Sorry baby, I can't help it when you have your hands on me like this." He let out a small whine and your whole face heated at the sudden thought of him getting turned on just by your touch.

"I'm doing this so you won't be in pain." You reminded him, that the lotion you were applying had some soothing abilities and was supposed to stop muscle aches from the first use,

"I won't be in pain if we have sex though." He teased, running his hands over your shoulders as you slapped his hand away from you,

"You're such a pig," you teased, softly pushing him to sit down on the edge of the bed and work your hands on his thigh again, smirking as he continued to let out small whimpers of your name.

"Let me work my magic and I'll see about giving you what you want afterwards." You teased him.

JISUNG:

Jisung had been over the moon with excitement when you'd asked him to put some lotion on your back and arms, he'd started slowly with your arms and as he got to your back he'd begun to try some techniques he'd had done to him during a massage. The whole time he had this giant smile on his face, the thought of getting to make you feel good was making him so happy, not to mention he knew why you'd asked him to do this. The two of you had been too busy with work and your job to make time for being intimate with one another but tonight was your night off and you could finally spend some alone time together.

"There baby, all...done..." He frowned when he heard some soft snores coming from your lips and he moved to the side to see that you were out cold in front of him. How could you have fallen asleep through that? He was doing everything he could to turn you on, just like he thought you'd wanted.

"Babe?" He whispered, softly shaking your arm as you grumbled in protest, squeezing your eyes together as you tried not to blind yourself with the light.

"What?" You mumbled a little annoyed that he'd woken you up after you'd just gotten to sleep but you looked at him to see him blushing brightly.

"Why did you fall asleep?" You laughed a little and sat up on the bed, It was almost 10 at night and you were tired, it was no wonder you'd fallen asleep.

"Because it felt good?" You shifted off the bed and went to hunt for some PJs you could go to sleep in,

"But I thought you'd asked me to do it for you...as a form of foreplay?" You froze in place and slowly turned around to face your boyfriend who appeared to be looking a little confused.

"I-I just needed help with lotion." You giggled a little at the thought of him thinking it was your way of asking for sex, it was adorable.

"Oh."

"But if you're that horny Jisung, I can help," You smirked as you stood in front of him, slowly sinking onto your knees and running your hands up his thighs as he stuttered and stumbled to find the words to say.

FELIX:

The entire time Felix had been pampering you he'd been trying to keep control of himself but it was getting harder and harder with each passing second. His hands were sitting on your hips as he leaned in closer to you, 

"Lixie?" You giggled when you felt his lips on the back of your neck, your whole body shivering at the sudden attention you were getting from him. You'd asked him to put some lotion on you because you'd been feeling a little dry lately but you hadn't expected this,

"What?" He chuckled softly, his hands slowly running down your thighs as you let out a small whine of his name, he knew that your thighs were your weakness.

"What are you doing?" You whispered, your body slowly turning to face him as he winked at you,

"Giving you what you wanted, baby."

"I wanted lotion," You nodded at the bottle that was now discarded next to him and his whole body burnt with embarrassment. 

"You didn't want to have sex?" He stuttered a little and the two of you were now stuttering messes as you stared back at one another, a little shocked at where this had gone. It wasn't as though the two of you had never had sex before but it was still a little embarrassing for you to talk about so openly.

"Well...Y-Yeah but I didn't suggest lotion for it to lead to it." You slowly leaned into Felix and kissed him gently,

"But now you've gotten me in the mood, don't stop." You begged, biting down on his lip gently as he smirked at you. 

SEUNGMIN: 

You'd been sitting on his lap the whole time as you applied some lotion to his face to "keep his skin hydrated" but Seungmin could see right through you. He knew what you were trying to do and in front of all of the boys? He couldn't believe you were being this adventurous with him tonight. The two of you were spending the night at the dorms and were sitting in the living room with everyone when you suggested the lotion to him,

"Let's go to the bedroom." He whispered to you as you frowned,

"I promised I'd do this for Jeongin," you whispered back to him, Everyone was focusing on the movie that was playing and you didn't want to interrupt them.

"Hell no." He said suddenly and rather loudly causing eyes to fall onto you both as you frowened.

"It's just some lotion-" You tried to speak but he cut you off. There was no way Seungmin was going to let you sit on Jeongin's lap and do the same thing you had just done to him.

"You're not doing to him what you just did to me."

"What did I do to you?" You barely had time to ask when you were suddenly being ground down against Seungmin's crotch and your eyes widened.

"I didn't mean to...I-I thought I was just doing your skincare." You whispered to him as his eyes darkened a little.

"You knew exactly what you were doing." He mumbled as you shook your head at him, there was no way you were going to fuck under the same roof as 7 other men.

"No, and it's not going to happen tonight," you told him before tapping the tip of his nose and getting up from his lap, going to sit beside Jeongin so you could moisturise his face next.

JEONGIN:

Jeongin watched in fascination as you got all of your supplies ready for the night, your lotions waiting on the vanity for you.

"You want some lotion?" You questioned when you noticed his eyes watching you the whole time. His heart raced as he stared at you, you were standing naked in the bedroom and his mind was racing at all of the things he wanted to do to you. The two of you hadn't had sex in a while since he'd been on tour and tonight would be the first night together in a long time.

"I'd love some." He blushed, stripping down so that he was naked and you smiled to yourself, letting out a small giggle as you began rubbing the lotion into his shoulders. Slowly leading your hands down his arms and chest making sure you got all of his body and that his skin was properly hydrated. As soon as he was done you smiled proudly of yourself and moved away from his body.

"Done. I'm hopping in the shower, do you wanna go and make a hot drink?" You said as you headed to the bathroom, noticing your boyfriend's mouth was just hanging open,

"You're just going to shower after turning me on?" He was blushing, trying to hide his boner with a blanket that was on the bed and you let out a small giggle,

"I turned you on?" You wondered how you'd only applied some cream to his skin it wasn't as though you were doing anything particularly raunchy.

"I thought that was what you were meant to be doing?" He suddenly blushed as he watched you closely,

"No...I was just applying some lotion to you." You studied him for a second before smirking to yourself,

"Come and join me in the shower though,"

"But you just applied lotion." He didn't know why he was suddenly so bothered, he should have jumped at the chance to get in the shower with you.

"I can put more on you after," You smirked grabbing his hand and dragging him into the en-suite with you.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy @aerastus @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lensfilm @btsiguess-kpop @djeniryuu @backintomykpopphaseagain @choisoorin

[sneakyparsnipslicer]

Power Play

It was never meant to have happened, but in all fairness I'm glad it did. I do have an unspoken duty of care after all.

I'm Gavin, 22, studying at Uni for theatre. Friends have always said I've got an uncanny talent for acting, able to hide how I'm feeling, telling the most convincing lies, but despite that I do have an earnest care for my friends and for some that's a big deal.

So, it all happened one Friday night, some of the girl friends were hosting a house party. Alcohol, music, conversation, the usual. My friend Janice had asked if I was free earlier and invited me. I hadn't seen her all week so the chance to catch up is always welcome. I put on my best clothes and headed off to the house which thankfully wasn't too far from my own place. I brought along some Amaretto for the party and got to mingling with others. I arrived quite early so there weren't too many people around and I got the chance to meet the partygoers and meet up with Janice.

'Hey Gav, glad you could make it! Got some pretty big news!' whispered Janice excitedly in my ear.

'Really? What is it?' I asked eagerly. She waved her left hand in front of my face, a gold ring on her finger. My jaw dropped.

'Tina proposed to me, we're getting married in the New Year!' she cried. I smiled and hugged her. Tina was a friend of ours and had confided to me in secrecy that she had a crush on Janice, and over the space of a year it looks like they'd both hit it off really well.

'Congrats, that's awesome!' I cried. 'Is Teen here tonight?'.

'Yeah she's just over in the other room, I'll go get her' said Janice, and she made her way through to the kitchen. I sat down on the sofa and waited a while. More and more partygoers arrived and as the night went on I forgot about Janice and Tina.

Getting progressively tipsy and humming along to 'Tainted Love', someone slumped down on the sofa next to me.

'Fuck them lesbians' sighed a voice. I opened my eyes and looked to my right, there sat a guy that looked about 30 with a bottle of Budweiser in his hand, shaking his head.

'What's up?' I asked, looking to him in concern. The guy looked to me and shrugged.

'Same fucking story everywhere I go, I see a cute girl, magically they're gay. Swear every fucker's gay these days' he said, taking a sip of his drink. I didn't say anything, took a sip of my drink and looked across the room. I could see past the crowd by the doorway was Janice. She was consoling Tina, who was crying. We caught eachother's eyes and I tilted my head subtly to the guy next to me, she nodded and kissed Tina on the head. I understood the situation.

'So how about you my man? You smashing some puss tonight?' the guy asked, looking me up and down. I turned to him and smiled.

'Nah mate, I'm more for the buss!' I replied, winking. The guy almost spat his drink out.

'Fuck off mate, you ain't gay!' he said laughing. I sighed.

'Oh sorry, were you expecting something more like this?' I asked, dangling my wrist and swiping the air camply. He laughed again, looking at me in disbelief.

'For a moment there I could've sworn you were straight' he said.

'Well you know, not all of us act camp, I like what I like but keep it on the down low' I replied, to which he nodded. I felt like I needed to move this along.

'Say, do you work out?' I asked, looking to his arms. He looked and flexed his right arm.

'Ah, you like what you see?' he asked smugly, grinning. I nodded and took another sip of my drink. He chuckled softly.

'You know, I've never tried a guy before' he said quietly, leaning in a little closer.

'Might be your lucky night' I suggested. He started nodding and bit his lower lip, taking a good look at me. I could have cackled at how easy it was to get him invested.

'What do you say we go find somewhere quiet to… break some new ground?' he asked, chuckling. I could have suplexed myself from the eye roll I wanted to do, but I had to keep my composure and giggled.

'Well, my place is just down the road, should give us a chance to get to know eachother better' I smiled. He drank the last of his drink and stood up. I happened to catch sight of his bulge as he offered a hand to lift me up, predictable. I tenderly placed my hand in his and he hoisted me up onto my feet, grinning.

'Let's get going then!' he said, heading off out of the house. I followed behind him, giving Janice a quick thumbs up and a wink as she nodded understandingly, mouthing the words 'Thank you'.

We returned to my place, him squeezing my ass and getting excited all the while. I unlocked the front door and invited him in. As soon as I was done locking the door, he made his move, pinning me to the door and burying his nose in my shoulder blade, taking a deep sniff.

'Mmm, you smell good!' he said. I rolled my eyes.

'It's Playboy' I said passively. He pulled his nose out.

'That's what I'll call you! Playboy!' he said, smiling maniacally.

'Sure thing, umm' I said, looking to him for a name.

'Just call me Daddy you cocksucking bitch!' he growled, pinning me further into the door and kissing my neck. Daddy, how fucking predictable. I could just see how this was going to go down. He pulled away and exhaled, stroking my chest.

'I'll bet you're a right little slut aren't you, Playboy?' he asked, fiddling with my shirt buttons, slowly revealing my chest.

'Oh for sure!' I grinned, moving in to kiss him. He hesitated but proceeded to kiss me back. I moved my hands behind his shoulders, embracing him. I could feel his dick pressing against my leg, he was totally enjoying it.

'Fuck me!' he said, dazed.

'Don't you mean fuck ME, Daddy?' I asked. He started laughing and moved his hands down to my thighs.

'Didn't think I'd ever be doing this with a guy, it feels so good' he said, looking into my eyes, amazed.

'Well, let's enjoy this then' I said, taking him by the hands and guiding him to my bedroom.

We got into the room and he thrust me down on the bed, biting his lip.

'Alright, strip down Playboy, nice and slow' he said, stroking his own crotch. I sat smirking as I kicked off my shoes and undid the last buttons on my shirt, taking it off and throwing it away. I went to unbuckle my belt when he stopped me.

'Come over here, I wanna try something' he said. Walking over he turned me around and began to unbuckle my belt whilst his cock was grinding against my butt. Always so cute when first timers try to be all freaky.

'You like that?' he asked, resting his chin on my left shoulder, watching as he pulled my shorts down.

'Yes Daddy' I said breathily, trying not to laugh. He dropped my shorts and began rubbing my butt through my boxers with his hands.

'Oh that ass feels so good Playboy, can't wait to explore it!' he whispered.

'I sure hope Daddy's packing tonight' I replied. With that he turned me back to face him, pulled me into a passionate kiss and carried me over to the bed, laying me down on it. Getting on top of me, he looked down as I looked back up at him. I began to pull at his shirt and he took it off, revealing his muscular chest, I'll admit it wasn't half bad. Then I began to unbuckle his belt and pull his jeans down, which he kicked off and there we were on the bed in our boxers.

'Open Daddy's pants!' he ordered, and I nodded, slipping them down his thighs. His dick sprung free, big and girthy, just how I like them.

'Ooooh, Daddy's got a big one!' I remarked in surprise, looking at it. He placed a hand under my chin, lifting it up to face him.

'Suck it, Playboy' he said, and so I began to do so, placing it in my mouth and beginning the blowjob. As it went on, his face became more strained as he tried not to shoot his load.

'Shit, you're good!' he moaned, looking to the ceiling. Eventually he stopped me and turned me over, pulling my boxers down.

'Alright Playboy, going in!' he chuckled. I could have cackled there and then, but I had to withold on the irony of that line. He began to spread my ass cheeks and inserted the tip of his dick, which slipped in easily. Even he was shocked.

'Damn, I thought you'd be tighter!' he said.

'C'mon Daddy, I'm a whore remember? Don't ruin this for yourself' I replied, massaging his leg. He nodded and continued to ride my backside, shaking the bed doing so. I'll admit this guy fucked with feeling, and as it went on and he reached climax, he wasn't aware of what else was going on.

When he finally came, sweaty and panting, he whooped in amazement.

'Wow Playboy, that was amazing!' he laughed, pulling himself away, but he soon realised he couldn't remove his dick from my ass.

'What's the matter Daddy? Too balls deep in me to let go?' I asked, turning my head to look at him. To his horror, his hands were beginning to sink slowly into my back, his pelvic region already sunk furthest into mine, and our feet had merged.

'Yo, what the fuck's going on?!' he shouted, but he couldn't pull himself free, he continued to sink into me as I began to cackle.

'You just fucked your way into a whole lot of trouble my guy!' I replied, laughing as he struggled.

'Let me go you fucking freak!' he roared as our legs were fully joined and his arms had sunk in.

'You upset my friends tonight, 'Daddy'. The lesbians you were moaning about, they just got engaged and you just had to come along and ruin their day' I said coldly as his back and shoulders sank in, him yelling out for help.

'And for the record, the name's Gavin. Suits me well considering how many homophobic, misogynistic pricks like you I've been gathering up to stop my friends being harrassed' I explained. By now the guy's face had melted into the back of my head and his screams became more and more muffled. Eventually he was fully sunk inside me, his added mass stretching me out and I began jerking my own dick, getting off my bed and spunking a few heavy loads on the carpet, excising myself of him. I looked at the pool of cum as it began to dry into the carpet.

'That's all you ever were, just a stain on society's carpet. Thanks for the muscles though' I said, cracking my neck and massaging my new musculature, reaching for my clothes. Though I thought to slip on the guy's jeans, they fitted me pretty nicely.

Making my way back over to Janice's place, most of the partygoers were filling out of the house. I went back in and found Tina and Janice, their faces lit up.

'Gav! Did you take care of that bastard?' asked Janice hopefully.

'Hey, I'm wearing his jeans aren't I?' I asked, turning to show them off 'Plus he filled me out a bit'. Janice shook her head, but smiled.

'I don't know how you do it, but thank you' said Tina, bowing her head. I pulled them both into a hug.

'Forget about him, he won't be bothering anyone anymore. Nobody messes with my friends' I said, looking to them in admiration.

'You're definitely gonna be the Best Man at the wedding, you know that right?' asked Janice. I folded my arms and rolled my eyes.

'And here I was hoping to be Chief Bridesmaid, oh well!' I sighed, shrugging. Janice and Tina began chuckling as I turned my attention to cleaning up the empty bottles and beer cans that the guests had left.

[mosneakers]

Alex: [Smiles warmly] Hi Coraleye…

Coraleye: [Smiles back] Hi Alex…

Alex: Ready for one last take before we officially call it a wrap?

Coraleye: I guess so! Alex: So how’s life treating you now? You adjusting okay?

Coraleye: Oh… well it's been a whirlwind, to say the least, heh. But I’m finding my footing again. Finally finishing up school. Just barely keeping my head above water some days, but yeah, I’m getting by. Trying to find my new normal.

Alex: [Nods thoughtfully] I want to talk about that a little bit. You’ve had to deal with the aftermath of everything that happened on election night. Do you remember when Cam and I came out to visit you in Brindleton Bay?

Coraleye: Mhm. I sure do. You interviewed some girls I went to school with.

Alex: So, Mackenzie, Briella, Logan… I’m not sure how much you’re aware of, especially with how quickly the media coverage was shut down after election night. But I’ve gotta ask—have you reached out to Coraleye at all since then? Offered any kind of support?

Logan: [Quickly glances at Mackenzie] I’m not sure if we got the chance to reach out yet, have we? Mackenzie:[Feigning innocence] She hasn't filled us in completely, but we’ve heard bits and pieces... Briella: We heard about her and her boyfriend. They broke up, right? [Big grin] Life has a cruel way of teaching us lessons!

Mackenzie presses her lips together, appearing to hold back a laugh, but finally cracks as a sharp cackle spills out.

Mackenzie: Oh my mod, Briella, stop! You can't say that! I just love you. So sorry about her, she's so crazy. Anyways, yeah. We wish her the best. I hope it all works out for her, I really do.

Cam: Well, I think that will probably do it for now, thank you ladies. Alex: Cam's right, thank you for your time. We'll be in touch. Have a happy Harvestfest.

Several weeks later, Britechester-

Alex: Cam and I try not to get too involved with work matters, but I'll be honest, that interview was upsetting. I wonder if they'd still be snickering if they saw what you've been through in these past few months.

Coraleye: Nah, they're the least of my worries. Pretty sure I got the last laugh when it comes to them. [Mischievous grin]

Alex: I'm in awe of your optimism, Coraleye. After all this, you’re really not bitter? I mean, look at Tycho—he lied, tried to erase your memories. And you still take the high road?

Coraleye: Oh no, please don’t get me wrong, Alex! I definitely went through—and sometimes still go through—my naughty phase, from time to time. Alex: [Leans in] You have my attention... Coraleye: Maybe it was for revenge, or a way to cope, or maybe deep down I was just really lonely and had a void to fill. Either way, it got me through some dark times. Perhaps you should book a follow-up interview with Briella, ask her if she found my panties in her boyfriend's room yet. [Waves at camera, winks, and mouths, ‘Hey, Pierce!’] Alex shakes his head amusedly and softly chuckles.

Alex: Damn! You really don't mess around. I'm guessing this doubles as punishment for Tycho as well?

Coraleye: Nope. Actually, his punishment is even better. I'm giving him exactly what he wants. After this documentary is over with, I'm erasing all of our shared memories together. He wanted to mess with my mind so badly, I'll do it for him. Alex: And how do you do that?

Coraleye: Through a spell, of course. You didn't forget that I'm a spellcaster, did you? I'll put the memories in an amulet and give it to our sage of untamed magic. They'll perform a ritual to destroy the memories. Alex: Wow. Remind me to never break your heart... Coraleye: [Smiles] Oh, I will. Alex: [Sighs] Well... Last question we're asking everyone else: Is there any question that you have, after all of this, that still haunts you?

Coraleye: [Tilts head, as she pauses to think] Hmm… I’ve still got to write that paper on my ten-year plan, and somehow I feel even more lost than before. I guess it’s time to start figuring that out now.

[conflictedreflection]

TWISTED WONDERLAND X GN! READER

Notice: twisted wonderland is NOT available in my region. Therefore, characters may be ooc! No hate is needed. Thanks.

Twisted Wonderland One-Shot: "So You Don't Have Magic?"

You walked into the classroom with a casual, almost bored stride, the usual suspects scattered around in their seats. The academy's usual chaos filled the air: Lilia's teasing, Silver's occasional groan, and Sebek's ever present shouting. However, your presence went unnoticed by most except for one.

"Hey!" Deuce’s voice broke through the noise, his hand raised, eager to catch your attention. "I’ve been meaning to ask you something."

You glanced over, not particularly interested, but willing to entertain. You shrugged nonchalantly, letting him continue.

"So, I’ve been thinking- " Deuce paused, clearly lost in thought, his blue eyes scanning your figure. "You don’t have any magic, right?"

A pause.

You blinked. The question wasn’t exactly unexpected; the rumor mill was always busy around here. But you were tired of the same old story. You crossed your arms, leaning back slightly, staring at him with a casual air.

"Yeah, that's right," you said flatly.

Deuce furrowed his brow. "But, like... How do you manage to survive here without any magic? Aren’t you at a huge disadvantage?"

You could feel eyes begin to shift toward you from the others. Some of them seemed genuinely curious others, more skeptical. But, truth be told, you were used to it by now.

You leaned forward and gave Deuce a smirk, an eyebrow cocked with playful amusement.

"No magic, huh?" you said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, I may not have fancy fireballs or transformation spells, but I’ve got something just as good."

The room grew quiet, waiting for your next words, your confident tone making them all intrigued.

With a swift motion, you reached inside your jacket and pulled out something that gleamed under the fluorescent lights: a sleek, black pistol. The sound of a few gasps echoed as the weapon was raised, and you aimed it harmlessly at the ceiling.

You grinned.

"A gun," you said nonchalantly. "PEW PEW."

A split second of stunned silence filled the air, before an eruption of confusion, panic, and laughter broke out all at once.

"You—" Ace sputtered, wide-eyed, practically choking on his own breath. "You what?! You just carry that around?"

"Where did you even get that?!" Deuce demanded, his face flushed with disbelief.

"Is that... even allowed here?" Sebek shrieked, clutching his head like he was going to lose it.

Lilia was the first to break into peals of laughter, holding his stomach as he rolled in his seat. "Well, that certainly makes things... interesting!"

You lowered the gun, not the least bit perturbed by the chaos you had just unleashed.

"Just because I don’t have magic doesn’t mean I’m helpless," you said coolly, putting the gun back into its holster. "And besides, it’s fun to mess with people sometimes."

Deuce shook his head in disbelief, still not entirely processing what had just happened. "I can’t believe you actually carry that around... Does that mean you’re like... one of those action movie heroes?"

"Well, if you ever find yourself in a dangerous situation, Deuce, just call me. I’ll save your sorry hide," you said with a wink, before standing up and walking out of the room.

---

Reader is NOT implied to be the MC / Yuu but can be seen as them or seperate person who also has no magic. Idk how it'll fit. If you're so curious ask me in the comments and maybe by the time I respond I'll have a reason.

[sillyunknownkitkat]

Undertale, Underswap, and underfell brothers react to a reader (platonic or not) that is hyper sexual

Mind that you're responsible for your own consumption, vague nsfw under the cut and sentive topics

No dni banner because there's nothing really explicit but it's implied

Undertale :

Sans

He noticed slight changes in your attitude before your crisis started. You were getting more and more bold, which is quite unusual for you.

Sans was worried for the few day you disappeared but understood that you may not want him to know about your problems. It didn't make him any less curious though.

It was a week after your first "symptoms" that he really got worried. So he went to your hiding place to confront you about it.

"Knock knock" Sans said, standing right in front of the bedroom's door.

"Sans?" You asked surprised and a bit panicked.

"S'not how the joke goes, kid. Knock knock." His tone wasn't particularly harsh, but he made it clear that he wasn't leaving. He used a tone that you had learned to interpret since knowing him.

"Who's there?" You said recluantly, you didn't want anyone to know about your bad habits

"Will." You thought for a bit, trying to guess the end of the joke but couldn't figure it out with your head still full of what's currently going on

"Will who?" Sans smiles a bit. Even in bad times, he still likes his jokes. It helps him relax a little.

"Will you open the door so we can talk face to face?"

So after putting on a sweatshirt and pyjama's pants, you get up and open the door.

"Hey.." You look down at his slippers.

"Hey, how 'bout we sit down and talk a bit, mh? M'not upset with you, just worried."

After you both settle down on the bed, you bring your knees to your chest and wait for him to start talking.

"Soooo, what's up, kiddo?"

Yeah... This is awkward for the both of you

So after you explained the things you were doing and how you felt while he patiently listened, he just asked you one thing.

"Is it because of a traumatic event you've been through?"

Now I let you decide what happened or not because everyone is different, but let's just say that if a person did something to make you feel that way, they're going to have a not so friendly chat with Sans.

Papyrus

Now, this cutie definitely didn't wait to ask you what was going on. I imagine him being autistic

So, while our pretty boy is definitely not stupid, I like to think he still struggles a bit with social clues. This means that he did ask you as soon as he noticed, but it might have taken quite a while.

Now, we all now Sans almost canonically struggles with depression so Paps can definitely help you a bit.

So, since no one can resist that cool face, you explained what was going on and let me tell you... That man was upset! Not at you but at the fact that you felt that way and he couldn't do anything about it. Not that it was his fault, but yk (*￣∇￣)ノ

Now he spent days telling you how amazing you were, how he loved you (platonically or not *wink wink*), and trying to get you attention on something else than your problem so you'd feel better.

Because you do. Not "maybe", you do 😭🔫😾

The cat is me, obviously 🙄

Underswap :

Blue (sans)

Might get hate on this one, but I think he struggles with hypersexuality too. I don't remember who's Au's it is, but there is one where he's popular on Instagram and where he's close friend with Viper (sf sans from that au which I use). So he knew what was going on before you told him.

Bb explained that he was like that, too, so you guys took care of each other :3

Like getting in comfy clothes, cooking a bit, cuddling, watching a movie, ... whatever you want!

And like spa treatments to echother too!

I'll probably write a part two for him in the future because, like this scenario + him, it's just ✨️perfect✨️

Stretch (us papyrus)

Even tho he's younger than blue, he still took care of his brother and therefore knew what was going on too. So when he sees you, he just picks you up with his magic, drags you to the couch, and pretty much instantly falls asleep on you. Well, he's not really sleeping, but you don't know that.

After a while, you start to cry silently because you feel kind of disgusting. Stretch cling to you a tiny bit harder and starts to purr "in his sleep" to try and console you.

Yes, skeletons purr, don't ask me why or how.

Anyway, after a while of being soothed, you fall asleep, and Stretch is smiling like an idiot because he managed to help you even the tiniest bit.

After both of you wake up, he goes to ask Blue what he can do to help you and apply with the wtv he tells him.

Blue might even join to talk to you a bit :)

Underfell :

Red (uf sans)

He knew what was going on but didn't want to bother you with it. The man already knows how hard it is when you're going through tough times.

So he kinda let you be but sometimes he comes buy and offer you to do some things.

It's not in a really nice way but not rude either, just a bit rough, I guess

He was like, "How 'bout you do something instead of just lying there, huh?"

He is not an asshole. He just grew up in a difficult world and therefore kinda has a stick stuck up in his non-existent ass.

If you don't move, he'll literally drag you out of bed and sit you on the couch with a movie already picked paused on the TV.

If you talk about it, he'll listen and suggest things that might help you, but if you don't, he'll do whatever he can while being "subtle."

Edge (uf papyrus)

He catched you crying when he opened the door of your bedroom to ask you to come downstairs since dinner was ready. Now Edge is by no means a cruel person, but he had to do things to survive in the underground. I like to think that when they all got out, he and Red cut links with most of the other monsters.

So now he got quite a lot softer, but it's still Edge, so don't expect too much.

He sat down next to you and brung a hand to your back (a bit awkwardly, but the man is learning people)

"I'M HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK." he told you in the softest voice he could manage to get out (it wasn't soft, but since you know him and how he talked you understood that he was trying)

Same as his brother, if you talk, he'll listen, but he might be a bit more insistant with his advice. Again, not in a rude way, just in his way of saying thing.

If you don't, he'll probably get a little offended that you don't trust him even after he tried his best to be soft but still understands why you may not want to talk about your problems.

Not verified afterwards, sorry ;^;

So this is it :) it's a bit shitty ngl but I tried my best.

Kinda self indulge, honestly, but I'm better now so dw

If you have a similar problem or even another one, my dm's are opened, don't stay alone in your misery.

I might not answer right away (I live in Western Europe), but I will as soon as I can

Have a good day/night, and be safe, everyone. <3

[misc-obeyme]

prompt: Solomon & the Celestial Realm

a/n: I had to think about what to write when the wheel gave me this combo lol. Buuuut I wrote something kinda based on the new art because well I couldn't help it. I'm sorry, but I love him. @om-adventcalendar

Solomon x GN!MC

Warnings: slightly suggestive at the end, but still sfw

You were waiting in Solomon's room, leaning leisurely against the couch and letting your eyes roam over the spines of the books on the shelves. Nobody else was in Purgatory Hall that afternoon, which was by design. Solomon had an idea that you were both sure the angels would not approve of.

You glanced at the door to his bathroom, where he had disappeared several minutes ago. Although you felt it was taking him a little too long, you also figured he was busy putting the finishing touches on his outfit.

The many clocks in his room ticked away, making you even more hyper aware of how much time seemed to be passing.

When you were about to go knock on the door and ask if he was okay in there, it opened and Solomon came out of the bathroom.

You stood up straight and for a moment you thought you'd need to sit down.

Solomon had used a spell to alter his usual sorcerer outfit into one an angel might wear. From his back sprouted two enormous and beautiful wings. He gave you a mischievous grin.

"What do you think?" he asked. "No one will suspect me, right?"

You blinked, trying to tear your eyes away from his exposed chest and stomach. He had used magic to remove his pact marks, leaving blank smooth skin.

"Uh, assuming nobody recognizes your face," you said.

Solomon pulled up the hood of the cloak he was wearing. "I'll keep my head down. They'll never know it's me. Most angels don't know what I look like."

"Just hope you don't run into one that does," you said. You folded your arms in an attempt to look stern. "Do you really think it's a good idea to sneak into the Celestial Realm like this? Couldn't you just ask Raphael or somebody to get that special potion ingredient for you?"

Solomon looked aggrieved. "MC, you should know that I have to gather the ingredient myself," he said. "It's a very specific flower and has to be harvested in a very specific way. As good as Raphael is with a spear, I don't think I could be sure he'd do it right."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, okay, sure," you said. "Just don't come crying to me if you get caught."

Solomon grinned and winked at you. "Don't worry about me, MC. I'll be back before you've even had a chance to miss me."

"Sure," you said. You settled on one of the couches, preparing to wait for Solomon to return. He wasn't planning on staying in the Celestial Realm for long. Just enough to get what he needed.

Solomon walked over to where you were sitting and put his hand on your cheek. He was still smiling, but it had become soft and fond. "Don't worry about me," he said. "I promise I'll come back to you."

You didn't even have a chance to respond before he had teleported out of the room. You weren't sure how he was going to get to the Celestial Realm. You knew he couldn't just teleport himself inside. But you had decided that it was probably better if you didn't know. It gave you plausible deniability.

You spent an agonizing hour in Solomon's room, waiting for him to return. You tried to distract yourself with your DDD. It worked for the most part, but half of your mind was busy worrying.

When he appeared back in the room in front of you, it was impossible to stop yourself from jumping up immediately.

Solomon grinned at you and opened his hands, showing you a small bouquet of the most beautiful flowers you'd ever seen. They shimmered with an inner light that reminded you of the golden Celestial Realm sun.

"I told you it wouldn't be a problem," Solomon said.

You let out a heavy sigh and collapsed back onto the couch. "I don't want to think about what would have happened if you had been caught."

Solomon laughed, crossing the room to place the flowers in a sealed magical container. "Give me a little more credit, MC," he said.

You twisted around to watch him. Now that your concern had passed, you couldn't deny how amazing he looked.

He smirked at you from across the room. "You're staring. Do you like my angel disguise that much?"

"Hmm," you squinted at him, as though assessing him. "It does show more skin than your usual look. Though I miss the pact marks."

Solomon came back to stand before you again and with a wave of his hand, his pact marks materialized across his skin. "Is this better?"

You stood up, reaching out to brush your fingertips across one of the marks on his chest. "Perfect," you said quietly.

His hands were on your hips, his lips so close to yours, and a heat between you that seemed to be unique to him. As though your magic reacted to him simply by being too close. He pulled you in closer and you could feel the rapid pulse of his heartbeat against your body.

The angels would be gone for a little while still and you were grateful. Because suddenly all you wanted was to watch those magical wings flutter beneath your touch.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[mybutcheredtongue]

I'll Love You 'til the Grass Around My Gravestone is Deceased

post azkaban sirius black x fem!reader

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX (see full series list here)

1994

I've just been attacked by dementors and I might be expelled from Hogwarts. I want to know what's going on and when I'm going to get out of here.

That's what Harry had written in his note to you and Sirius — and also in notes to Ron and Hermione too.

The pair of you had been livid, of course — "this is what happens when he's left alone with those people!" — and three days later, you stand on the doorstep to Number 4, Privet Drive, Little Whinging with a group of other Order members.

"Alohomora," you say, pushing the door open. You make your way into the hallway, all the lights turned off.

Tonks lets out a whistle at a stack of antique decorative plates on a table beside her. "Wow, look at these plates, they're proper fancy! Just look — "

She immediately drops it with a crash.

"Oops," she says, repairing it with a wave of her wand.

You make your way up the stairs, unlocking the door with your wand while the others wait at the bottom of the stairs. Harry slowly emerges from the room, poking his head out the door, wand clutched tightly in his hand.

"Lower your wand, boy, before you take someone's eye out," Moody growls.

Harry doesn't lower his wand. "Professor Moody?"

"I don't know so much about 'Professor'. Never got round to much teaching, did I? Get down here, we want to see you properly."

Harry still doesn't move, clearly wary of your party.

"It's alright, Harry," you say gently. "We've come to take you away."

"P-professor?" he says disbelievingly. "Is that you?"

"Why are we all standing in the dark?" Tonks says. "Lumos."

The tip of Tonks's wand flares, illuminating the hall with light. You beam at the sight of your godson, already looking older than when you last seen him.

You stride forward and wrap him in a tight hug, beaming. "Good to see you, Harry."

"Yeah, you too..."

"Ooh, he looks just like I thought he would," Tonks says excitedly. "Wotcher, Harry!"

"Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus," Kingsley Shacklebolt says from the back. "He looks exactly like James."

"Except the eyes," Dedalus Diggle wheezes. "Lily's eyes."

Moody squints suspiciously at Harry, his magical eye pointed towards him searchingly. "Are you quite sure it's him? It'd be a nice lookout if we bring back some Death Eater personating him. We ought to ask him something only the real Potter would know. Unless anyone brought any Veritaserum?"

"Harry, what form does your patronus take?" Remus asks.

"A stag," Harry answers nervously.

"That's him, Mad-Eye."

Harry descends the stairs, still looking a bit confused, stowing his wand in the back pocket of his jeans as he goes.

"Don't put your wand there, boy!" Moody roars immediately. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost a buttock, you know!"

"Who do you know that's lost a buttock?" Tonks asks curiously

"Never you mind, just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" he barks, hobbling off to the kitchen. "Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore..."

Wow, how many times did you hear that during your training?

"And I saw that," Moody adds irritably as you roll your eyes at the ceiling.

Remus holds out his hand and shakes Harry's. "How are you?"

"Fine..." Harry replies, looking as though he's still in shock at what's going on.

"I'm — you're really lucky the Dursleys are out..." he mumbles.

"Lucky, ha!" Tonks exclaims, grinning. "It was me that lured them out of the way. Sent a letter by Muggle post telling they'd been short-listed for the All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn Competition. They're heading off to the prize-giving right now...or so they think."

She winks at you and you smile back, remembering the side-splitting laughter that had infected you as the two of you cooked up that idea a few nights previous.

"We are leaving, aren't we?" Harry asks. "Soon?"

"Almost at once," Remus says. "We're just waiting for the all-clear."

"Where are we going? The Burrow?" Harry asks hopefully.

You shake your head. "No, not the Burrow." You follow Moody into the kitchen, the group of Order members walking in after you. "Too risky. We're set up headquarters somewhere else, somewhere undetectable."

Moody sits at the kitchen table swigging from a hip flask, taking in the many electrical appliances in the Dursleys' kitchen.

"This is Alastor Moody, Harry," Remus tells, pointing toward him.

"Yeah, I know."

"And this is Nymphadora — "

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus," Tonks says with a shudder. "It's Tonks."

" — Nymphadora Tonks, who prefers to be known by her surname only," Remus finishes, glancing at Tonks.

She folds her arms. "So would you if your fool of a mother called you Nymphadora."

"And this is Kingsley Shacklebolt," Remus continues. "Elphias Doge, Dedalus Diggle — "

"We've met before," squeaks Diggle, dropping his top hat excitedly.

" — Emmeline Vance — Sturgis Podmore — and Hestia Jones."

Harry nods awkwardly at each of them in turn.

"A surprising number of people volunteered to come get you," Remus says, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Yeah, well, the more the better," Moody says darkly. "We're your guard, Potter."

"We're just waiting for the signal to tell us it's safe to set off," Remus explains, glancing out the kitchen window. "We've got about fifteen minutes."

"Very clean, aren't they, these Muggles?" Tonks says as she looks around the kitchen with heat interest. "My dad's Muggle-born and he's a right old slob. I suppose it varies, just like with wizards?"

"Uh — yeah," says Harry, turning to you. "What's going on, I haven't heard anything from anyone, what's Vol — ?"

Several of the witches and wizards make odd hissing noises and Moody growls, "Shut up!"

"What?"

"We're not discussing anything here, it's too risky," Moody explains, looking around him warily with his magical eye.

"We can talk about it once we're back at headquarters," you say.

"How're we getting there?"

"Brooms," Remus replies. "Only way. You're too young to apparate, they'll be watching the Floo Network, and it's more than our life's worth to set up an unauthorised Portkey."

"She says you're a good flier," Kingsley says, gesturing to you.

"He's excellent," you reply proudly, smiling at Harry.

Remus glances down at his watch. "You better go and get packed, Harry, we want to be ready to go when the signal comes."

"I'll come and help you," Tonks says brightly, following Harry upstairs to his bedroom.

Remus pulls an envelope and piece of parchment out of his pocket, bending over the kitchen table to start scribbling something down. You walk around the room, looking at different photos of the Dursleys.

Baby Dudley, with a proud Petunia and Vernon standing over him; Petunia and Vernon on their wedding day; several more photos of Dudley growing up — there's an obvious absence of Harry. If a stranger were to walk into this room without knowing anything about the Dursleys beforehand, they would never know Harry even exists.

"What a strange device!" Podmore exclaims, curiously opening and closing the kitchen microwave while Kingsley stands behind him. He waves you over. "What does it do?"

Because of your Muggle father, you are often questioned on Muggle items and customs — though usually by Arthur Weasley.

"It cooks food," you reply. "It's called a microwave."

"A microwave..." Kingsley repeats thoughtfully, opening the door and peering inside with immense interest.

Nearby, Hestia laughs at a potato peeler that she came across in one of the drawers. You give her a look, confused as to what could possibly be so humourous about a potato peeler, but she just continues to snicker and giggle as she turns it over in her hands.

"Excellent," Remus says when Harry and Tonks return, Harry's trunk bobbing along in the air behind them. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a note telling your aunt and uncle not to worry — "

"They won't," says Harry.

"That you're safe — "

"That'll just depress them."

" — and you'll see them next summer."

"Do I have to?"

Remus smiles but doesn't answer.

"Come here, boy," Moody says gruffly, beckoning Harry towards him with his wand. "I need to Disillusion you."

Harry's brows knit nervously. "You need to what?"

"Disillusionment Charm," Moody replies, raising his wand. "Lupin says you've got an Invisibility Cloak, but it won't stay on while we're flying; this'll disguise you better. Here you go — "

He raps Harry hard on the top of his head and Harry's body takes on the exact colour and texture of the kitchen unit behind him, like some sort of human chameleon.

"Nice one, Mad-Eye," Tonks says appreciatively, and Harry looks down in surprise, spinning in place as he surveys his new look.

"Come on," Moody says, moving towards the back door and unlocking it with his wand.

You all step out onto the Dursleys' impeccably well-kept lawn. It looks practically untouched — a contender for the All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn Competition indeed.

"Clear night," Moody grumbles, peering up into the dark sky above. "Could've done with a bit more cloud cover. Right, you," he barks at Harry, pointing his finger at him, "we're going to be flying in close formation. Tonks'll be right in front of you. The rest'll be circling us. We don't break ranks for anything, got me? If one of us is killed — "

"Is that likely?" Harry asks apprehensively, but Moody ignores him. When he turns his worried eyes to yours you shake your head, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at Moody's grimness.

" — the others keep flying, don't stop, don't break ranks. If they take out all of us and you survive, Harry, the rear guard are standing by to take over; keep flying east and they'll join you."

"Stop being so cheerful, Mad-Eye, he'll think we're not taking this seriously," says Tonks as she straps Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage into a harness hanging from her broom.

"I'm just telling the boy the plan," Moody growls. "Our job's to deliver him safely to headquarters and if we die in the attempt — "

"No one's going to die," you say calmly, receiving a doubtful grumble from Moody in the process.

"Mount your brooms, that's the first signal!" Remus says sharply, pointing into the sky at the shower of bright red sparks flaring high above you.

You swing your leg over your broom — your dusty old Cleansweep Seven that you've had since you were fifteen and that has seen more of the inside of your garden shed than the open air — and wrap your hands around the flaking handle. You're a pretty average flier — nothing compared to James, of course...but who could ever compare to him?

"Second signal, let's go!" Remus says loudly, as this time green sparks explode into the air far above you.

You kick off hard from the ground. The cool night air rushes into you as you rise higher into the air, the houses and buildings of Little Whinging becoming smaller and smaller as your group ascends. Looking up, the sky is vast and clear, revealing the billions of gleaming stars twinkling above. You can't help the small rush of giddiness that sparks in you at the sight of it.

"Hard left, hard left, there's a Muggle looking up!" Moody shouts over the wind, and your circling group follows Tonks as she swerves, Harry close behind. "We need more height...give it another quarter of a mile!"

"Bear southeast and keep climbing, there's some low cloud ahead we can lose ourselves in!" calls Moody.

"We're not going through clouds!" Tonks shouts angrily. "We'll get soaked, Mad-Eye!"

You're glad to hear this, your fingers turning numb around the handle of your broom in the chill.

You alter your course every now and then according to Moody's instructions, you and the rest of the guard circling Harry and Tonks as you move.

"We ought to double back for a bit, to make sure we're not being followed!" Moody shouts.

"Don't be mad! We're nearly there now!" You yell, recognising the streets hurtling past below. "If we keep going off course, we won't have to worry about being followed because Harry'll have died from hypothermia by then!"

"Time to start the descent!" Remus orders. "Follow Tonks, Harry!"

You dive, flying lower and lower until you touch down on a quiet street with several less-than-welcoming houses lining it.

"Where are we?" Harry asks.

"In a minute," Remus says quietly, looking at Moody expectantly as he rummages around in his cloak.

"Got it," he mutters, pulling out Dumbledore's trusty Deluminator and clicking it. The nearest streetlamp goes out with a pop. Moody clicks the Deluminator again and one by one each lamp on the street distinguishes, leaving the faint glow of lit rooms behind curtains the only source of light on the street.

"Borrowed it from Dumbledore," Moody explains to Harry, pocketing the Deluminator once more. "That'll take care of any Muggles looking out the window, see? Now, come on, quick."

Together, your group makes it towards houses Number 11 and Number 13. Even though he's been Disillusioned, you can still see Harry's form shivering with the cold, and you make a slow sweeping motion down the length of his body with your wand, muttering a quiet warming spell under your breath. You hear him breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thanks."

Remus tuts quietly under his breath. "No spell for the rest of us, then?"

You smile. "You're not my godson."

Even in the dark, you can see him rolling his eyes at you.

"Here," Moody says, thrusting a piece of paper towards Harry. "Read quickly and memorise."

"What's the Order of the — ?"

"Not here, boy!" Moody snarls immediately, his eyes wide. "Wait 'til we're inside!"

He snatches the parchment out of Harry's hand and lights it on fire, dropping it to the ground, the edges curling in the flame.

"But where's — ?"

"Think about what you've just memorised," Remus says quietly.

After a moment, the run-down door of the Black house emerges in the space between 11 and 13, followed soon by grimy walls and windows.

"Come on, hurry," Moody growls, prodding Harry in the back.

You tap the door with your wand. Loud metallic clicks and squeaks sound behind the door before it creaks open, revealing the darkened hallway beyond. "Get in quick, Harry. But don't go far inside and don't touch anything."

You shuffle into the hallway behind Harry, casting a wary eye to the curtained portrait at the end of the hall, waiting for Moody to finish returning the light to the streetlamps before closing the door behind him.

"Here." Moody raps Harry hard over the head with his wand, lifting the Disillusionment Charm and returning Harry to his usual, visible state. Probably could've been a bit more gentle with it, but whatever.

"Now stay still, everyone, while I give us a bit of light around here," Moody says quietly. With a soft hissing noise, the old-fashioned gas lamps flicker to life, illuminating the depressingly drab hallway you're standing in.

Hurried footsteps alert you to Mrs Weasley's entrance, emerging from the basement door with a smile on her face as she makes her way toward you.

"Oh, Harry, it's lovely to see you!" she whispers, pulling Harry into a tight hug before holding him at arm's length and examining him critically. "You're looking peaky; you need feeding up, but you'll have to wait a bit for dinner, I'm afraid..."

She turns to you and the rest of the Order members and whispers urgently, "He's just arrived, the meeting's started..."

Everyone starts to make their way through the door, and Harry moves to follow Remus when you gently hold him back, a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, Harry. Order members only. We'll talk later, yeah?"

"Ron and Hermione are waiting upstairs, you can wait with them until the meeting's over, and then we'll all have dinner," Mrs Weasley whispers to him. "And keep your voice down in the hall."

"Why?"

"I don't want to wake anything up."

"What d'you — ?"

"I'll explain later, I've got to hurry, I'm supposed to be at the meeting — I'll just show you where you're sleeping."

You give Harry and Mrs Weasley a wave before heading down into the basement, opening the door as quietly as possible and slipping into your usual spot beside Sirius at the table while Dumbledore speaks to Remus and Moody about Harry. You listen as Dumbledore outlines plans and guard duty: looks like you're on tomorrow night. Brilliant.

Snape sits across from you, and when your eyes meet he gives you a near-imperceptible head shake. Nothing on Wormtail yet. Then his eyes shift to hatred as he wrinkles his nose at Sirius beside you, and you notice that your husband is currently pretending to scratch his nose with just his middle finger extended, directly in Snape's eyeline.

Of course.

When the meeting is finally over, most of the Order members file out of the kitchen and upstairs, speaking in hushed voices as they enter the hall. You pull one of the scrolls of parchment from the middle of the table into your hands, skimming your eyes over a plan of the Department of Mysteries, exits and entrances marked in red.

Just then, you hear a clatter and a great, thankfully muffled, screeching starts from the hall. You sigh, rubbing your temples, and move to stand up and deal with your darling mother-in-law when Sirius gently pushes you back into your chair, standing up.

"I'll handle it."

Bill and Mr Weasley sit close by, heads pressed together as they mull over parchment and documents. After a minute or two, the screaming stops and Sirius reopens the door, Harry following close behind with Remus and the rest of the kids.

Mrs Weasley clears her throat and Mr Weasley jumps to his feet, hurrying over to give Harry's hand a shake. "Harry! Good to see you!"

Bill starts to try and roll up the scrolls and you move to help him, handing him the plan of the Department of Mysteries.

"Journey all right, Harry?" he asks. "Mad-Eye didn't make you come via Greenland, did he?"

"He tried," Tonks says, striding over to help you and immediately knocking over a candle, sending the wax spilling onto the parchment. "Oh, no — sorry — "

"Here," you say, waving your wand and muttering a spell to repair the parchment. In the light your wand casts, you spy Harry trying to catch a glimpse of what's written on the parchment.

Mrs Weasley sees him too, and clicks her tongue disapprovingly, snatching up the scrolls and shoving them into Bill's arms. "This sort of thing ought to be cleared away promptly at the end of meetings."

She sweeps off towards a dresser to start unloading dinner plates and you grab a cloth and wipe down the table for dinner.

"Sit down, Harry," Sirius says, retaking his usual spot at the table. "You've met Mundungus, haven't you?"

Mundungus, who has been snoring away at the end of the table, stirs and jolts awake. "Someone say m' name? I agree with Sirius..."

He raises his hand in the air as though voting, and you snort.

"Meeting's over, Dung," you say with a smile, giving his back a poke as you pass by with more plates. "Harry's arrived."

"Eh?" He peers at Harry before his face lights in recognition. "Blimey, so 'e 'as! Yeah...you all right, Harry?"

"Yeah."

Mundungus fumbles in his pockets and produces his trusty black pipe, lighting the tip with his wand and taking a long pull from it. A cloud of green smoke thickens the air around him instantly.

"Owe you an apology," he grunts.

"For the last time, Mundungus," calls Mrs Weasley in frustration, "will you please not smoke that thing in the kitchen, especially not when we're about to eat!"

"Ah. Right, sorry, Molly."

He stuffs the pipe back into his pocket, with slight reluctance.

Soon, a series of heavy knives are chopping meat and vegetables on their own, supervised by Mr Weasley, while Mrs Weasley stirs a cauldron dangling over the fire. Mundungus, Sirius, and Harry are talking at the table, and from the few snippets you overhear you can tell Sirius is complaining about being stuck inside with nothing to do — which you don't blame him for.

"At least you've known what's been going on," Harry says bracingly.

"Oh, yeah," Sirius says sarcastically. "Listening to Snape's reports, having to take all his snide hints that he's out there risking his life while I'm sat on my backside here having a nice comfortable time...asking me how the cleaning's going — "

"What cleaning?" Harry asks.

"Trying to make this place fit for human habitation," Sirius replies, waving a hand around the dismal kitchen. "No one's lived here for ten years, not since my mother died, unless you count her old house-elf, and he's gone round the twist, hasn't cleaned anything in years — "

"Sirius?" Mundungus pipes up, eyes focused on a silver goblet in his hands, examining it with immense interest. "This solid silver, mate?"

"Yes," he answers, surveying the goblet with obvious distaste. "Finest fifteenth-century goblin-wrought silver, embossed with the Black family crest."

"That'd come off, though," Mundungus mutters thoughtfully, scrubbing the crest with his cuff.

"Fred — George — NO, JUST CARRY THEM!" Mrs Weasley shrieks.

Fred and George have bewitched a large cauldron of stew, an iron flagon of butterbeer, and a heavy wooden breadboard, to hurtle through the air towards the table. Harry, Sirius, and Mundungus leap away, just in time to avoid the pot of stew that skids the length of the table before stopping at the end, the flagon of butterbeer that falls with a crash and spills over the surface, dripping onto the floor, and the sharp knife that slips from the breadboard and sticks in the table where Sirius' hand had been moments before.

"FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!" Mrs Weasley screams, face red with fury. "THERE WAS NO NEED — I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS — JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC NOW DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERY TINY LITTLE THING!"

"We were just trying to save a bit of time!" Fred says, hurrying forward and wrenching the knife out of the table. "Sorry, Sirius, mate — didn't mean to — "

Harry and Sirius are laughing, and you turn your face away to hide your laughter from the furious Mrs Weasley. Mundungus struggles to his feet, swearing and muttering under his breath.

"Boys," Mr Weasley steps in, lifting the stew pot back into the middle of the table. "Your mother's right, you're supposed to show a sense of responsibility now that you've come of age — "

"None of your brothers caused this sort of trouble!" Mrs Weasley snaps at the twins, slamming a fresh flagon of butterbeer onto the table while you clean away the mess from the previous with your wand. "Bill didn't feel the need to Apparate every few feet! Charlie didn't charm everything he met! Percy — "

She stops dead, catching her breath with a frightened look at her husband. Mentions of Percy are not particularly welcomed in the house at the moment, after Percy and Mr Weasley had an especially heated argument and Percy chose his job at the Ministry over his own family.

"Let's eat," Bill says quickly.

For a few minutes, there is silence in the room but for the scraping of plates and cutlery and the creak of chairs as everyone settles down for the meal. You sit beside Sirius, who smiles and pulls your chair closer to his as you eat.

He tugs on the sleeve of your jumper, rolling the fabric between his thumb and forefinger. "I like this, it suits you. You look very pretty."

You scoff, giving him a smile. "Of course you like it, Sirius, it's yours. Anyways, I'm thinking of going back home soon just to collect a few things," you say. "Is there anything you want? I am seriously missing my telescope here — "

A loud burst of laughter drowns out the rest of your words, as Fred, George, Ron, and Mundungus roll around in their chairs.

"...and then," chokes Mundungus, tears running down his face, "and then, if you'll believe it, 'e says to me, 'Dung, where did ya get all them toads from? 'Cause some son of a Bludger's gone and nicked all mine!' And I says, 'Nicked all your toads, Will, what next? So you'll be wanting some more, then?' And if you'll believe me, lads, the gormless gargoyle buys all 'is own toads back off me for twice what 'e paid in the first place — "

"I don't think we need to hear any more of your business dealings thank you very much, Mundungus," Mrs Weasley says sharply.

"Beg pardon, Molly," he answers at once, wiping his face and winking at Harry. "But, you know, Will nicked 'em off Warty Harris in the first place so I wasn't really doing anything wrong — "

"I don't know where you learned about right and wrong, Mundungus, but you seemed to have missed a few crucial lessons," Mrs Weasley says coldly, before shooting a particularly nasty look at Sirius and standing up to fetch a large rhubarb crumble for dessert.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Mundungus is certainly not the most law-abiding man, but he has his uses.

"Molly doesn't approve of Mundungus," Sirius says quietly to Harry.

"How come he's in the Order?"

"He's useful," Sirius mutters. "Knows all the crooks — "

"Well, he would, seeing as he is one himself," you add, taking a sip from your wine.

Sirius nods. "He's also very loyal to Dumbledore, who helped him out of a tight spot once. It pays to have someone like Dung around, he hears things we don't. But Molly thinks inviting him to stay for dinner is going too far. She hasn't forgiven him for slipping off duty when he was supposed to be tailing you."

Several helpings of crumble later, the air in the room moves to a relaxed laziness as you finish telling the story of Remus's first time getting drunk at Hogwarts to Tonks, who giggles and laughs while Remus shakes his head and becomes increasingly interested in his goblet. Sirius's hand rests on your hip, idly drawing circles with his finger.

"I don't — uh — I don't remember that," Remus says, cheeks crimson as he glances at Tonks to see her reaction.

You hum, smiling at him. "Well, I certainly do. "

Tonks smiles appreciatively at Remus, yawning loudly.

"Nearly time for bed, I think," Mrs Weasley says, yawning too.

"Not just yet, Molly," Sirius says, pushing away his empty plate and turning to look at Harry. "You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

The change in the atmosphere is rapid: Mrs Weasley sits bolt upright, her fists clenched; Remus lowers his goblet warily, eyes meeting yours.

"I did!" Harry says indignantly. "I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we're not allowed in the Order, so — "

"And they're quite right," Mrs Weasley says firmly. "You're too young."

"Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions?" Sirius asks, raising his eyebrows. "Harry's been trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He's got the right to know what's been happen — "

"Hang on!" George interrupts loudly.

"How come Harry gets his questions answered?" says Fred angrily.

"We've been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single stinking thing!"

"You're too young, you're not in the Order," Fred says in a high-pitched imitation of his mother. "Harry's not even of age!"

"It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's been doing," Sirius says calmly. "That's your parents' decision. Harry, on the other hand — "

"It's not down to you to decide what's good for Harry!" Mrs Weasley says sharply, a dangerous look on her face. "You haven't forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?"

"Which bit?" His tone is polite, but you spot the familiar tense in his jaw and know that this calmness won't last long.

"The bit about not telling Harry more than he needs to know," Mrs Weasley replies stonily.

Everyone else in the room is dead silent, their eyes flitting between Sirius and Mrs Weasley as though watching a tennis match. You meet Remus's eyes across the table, subtly shaking your head.

"I don't intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly," says Sirius. "But he was the one who saw Voldemort come back. He has more right than most to — "

"He's not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!" Mrs Weasley snaps. "He's only fifteen — "

"And he's dealt with as much as most in the Order, and more than some — "

"No one's denying what he's done!" Mrs Weasley's voice rises, her fists trembling with anger. "But he's still — "

"He's not a child!" Sirius says impatiently.

"He's not an adult either! He's not James, Sirius!"

Sirius stares back at Mrs Weasley, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. His voice is ice. "I'm perfectly clear who he is, thanks, Molly."

"I'm not sure you are!" Mrs Weasley says hotly. "Sometimes, the way you talk about him, it's as though you think you've got your best friend back!"

"What's wrong with that?" says Harry.

"What's wrong, Harry, is that you are not your father, however much you might look like him! You are still at school and adults responsible for you should not forget it!"

"Meaning I'm an irresponsible godfather?" Sirius demands, his voice rising.

"Meaning you've been known to act rashly — "

"Enough, both of you,” you say loudly, stopping the two. You inhale deeply. "Harry deserves to know a certain amount. He has been left in the dark for a month, and I have no doubt that he's used this time to come up with a few interesting theories of what's been going on. Don't you think he deserves to know what is true, from us, rather than a muddled version from...others?"

You don't doubt that a few of Fred and George's Extendable Ears have survived Mrs Weasley's purge.

Mrs Weasley looks back at you, breathing deeply. "Well..." she looks around the table for support, but receives none. "Well...I can see that I'm going to be overruled. I'll just say this: Dumbledore must have had his reasons for not wanting Harry to know too much, and speaking as someone who has Harry's best interests at heart — "

"He's not your son," Sirius says quietly.

"He's as good as!" Mrs Weasley snaps back fiercely. Great, just when you thought the argument had come to an end. "Who else has he got?"

You pause, hoping you misheard her.

"He's got us!" Sirius snaps back, gesturing between you and him.

"Yes. The thing is, it's been rather difficult for you to look after him while you've been locked up in Azkaban, hasn't it?"

Immediately, you feel your anger flare and you glare daggers back at her. "It's not like he had a choice, Molly!" You snap defensively. "How could you say something like that — "

"Molly, you're not the only person at this table who cares about Harry," Remus says sharply. "Sirius, sit down."

Sirius, who had begun to rise from his chair, sinks slowly back into his seat, face white.

"I think Harry ought to be allowed a say in this," Remus continues calmly. "He's old enough to decide for himself."

"I want to know what's been going on," Harry says at once.

Mrs Weasley looks at him for a moment, swallowing harshly. "Very well. Ginny — Hermione — Ron — Fred — George — I want you out of this kitchen, now."

Instant uproar.

"We're of age!" Fred and George cry together.

"If Harry's allowed, why can't I?" Ron shouts.

"Mum, I want to!" Ginny wails.

"NO!" shouts Mrs Weasley, her chest heaving as she stands. "I absolutely forbid — "

"Molly, you can't stop Fred and George," Mr Weasley says wearily. "They are of age."

"They're still at school — "

"But they're legally adults now."

"I — alright, fine, Fred and George can stay, but Ron — "

"Harry'll tell me and Hermione everything you say anyway!" Ron says heatedly. "Won't — won't you?" He adds uncertainly, meeting Harry's eyes.

"'Course I will."

Ron and Hermione beam.

"Fine!" Mrs Weasley shouts. "Fine! Ginny — BED!"

You hear Ginny stomping and raging at her mother all the way up the stairs, awakening Walburga's portrait when she reaches the hall. You sigh, hurrying off to force the curtains shut over the crazy woman with immense effort. You return, shutting the door to the stairs behind you, and fall back into your seat with a heavy sigh.

"Okay, Harry...what do you want to know?" Sirius speaks.

"Where's Voldemort? What's he doing? I've been trying to watch the Muggle news," Harry asks immediately, "and there hasn't been anything that looks like him yet, no funny deaths or anything — "

"That's because there haven't been any suspicious deaths yet," says Sirius. "Not as far as we know, anyway...and we do know quite a lot."

"More than he thinks we do, anyway," Remus adds.

"How come he's stopped killing people?" Harry asks.

"He doesn't want to draw attention to himself at the moment," you answer. "It would be dangerous for him. His comeback didn't quite come off the way he wanted it to, you see. He messed it up."

"Or rather, you messed it up for him," Remus says with a satisfied smile.

"How?" Harry questions, perplexed.

"You weren't supposed to survive!" Sirius says. "Nobody apart from his Death Eaters were supposed to know he'd come back. But you survived to bear witness."

"And the very last person he wanted alerted to his return the moment he got back was Dumbledore," says Remus. "And you made sure Dumbledore knew at once."

"How has that helped?"

"Are you kidding?" Bill says incredulously. "Dumbledore was the only one You-Know-Who was ever afraid of!"

"Thanks to you, Dumbledore was able to recall the Order of the Phoenix the day Voldemort returned," says Sirius.

"So what's the Order been doing?" asks Harry, looking around the table at everyone.

"Working as hard as we can to make sure Voldemort can't carry out his plans," Sirius answers.

"How do you know what his plans are?"

"Dumbledore's got a shrewd idea," says Remus, "and Dumbledore's shrewd ideas normally turn out to be accurate."

"So what does Dumbledore reckon he's planning?"

"Well, firstly, he wants to build up his army again," says Sirius. "In the old days he had huge numbers at his command; witches and wizards he'd bullied or bewitched into following him, his faithful Death Eaters, a great variety of Dark creatures. You heard him planning to recruit the giants; well, they'll be just one group he's after. He's certainly not going to try and take on the Ministry of Magic with only a dozen Death Eaters."

"So you're trying to stop him getting more followers?"

"We're doing our best," you say.

"How?"

"Well, the main thing is to try and convince as many people as possible that You-Know-Who really has returned, to put them on their guard," Bill tells. "It's proving tricky, though."

"Why?"

"Because the Ministry is still in denial," you say with a sigh. "You saw Fudge after Voldemort came back, Harry — he hasn't changed his mind at all. He's completely refusing to believe it."

"But why?" Harry asks desperately. "Why's he being so stupid? If Dumbledore — "

"Ah, well, you've put your finger on the problem," says Mr Weasley with a wry smile. "Dumbledore."

"Fudge is frightened of him," you say.

"Frightened of Dumbledore?" Harry says incredulously.

"Frightened of what he's up to," says Mr Weasley. "You see, Fudge thinks Dumbledore's plotting to overthrow him. He thinks Dumbledore wants to be Minister of Magic."

"But Dumbledore doesn't want — "

"Of course he doesn't," Mr Weasley speaks, adjusting his spectacles. "He's never wanted the Minister's job, even though a lot of people wanted him to take it when Millicent Bagnold retired. Fudge came to power instead, but he's never quite forgotten how much popular support Dumbledore had, even though Dumbledore never applied for the job."

Remus clears his throat. "Deep down, Fudge knows Dumbledore's much cleverer than he is, a much more powerful wizard, and in the early days of his Ministry he was forever asking Dumbledore for help and advice. But it seems that he's become fond of power now, and much more confident. He loves being Minister of Magic, and he's managed to convince himself that he's the clever one and Dumbledore's simply stirring up trouble for the sake of it."

"How can he think that?" Harry says angrily. "How can he think Dumbledore would just make it all up — that I'd make it up?"

"Because accepting that Voldemort's back would mean trouble like the Ministry hasn't had to cope with for nearly fourteen years," Sirius says bitterly. "Fudge just can't bring himself to face it. It's so much more comfortable to convince himself Dumbledore's lying to destabilize him."

"Ignorance is bliss," you say sardonically.

"You see the problem," Remus says. "While the Ministry insists there is nothing to fear from Voldemort, it's hard to convince people he's back, especially as they don't really want to believe it in the first place. What's more, the Ministry's leaning heavily on the Daily Prophet not to report any of what they're calling Dumbledore's 'rumourmongering', so most of the Wizarding community are completely unaware anything's happened, and that makes them easy targets for Death Eaters if they're using the Imperius Curse."

"But you're telling people, aren't you?" says Harry, looking around the table. "You're letting people know he's back?"

You smile humourlessly.

"Well, as everyone thinks I'm a mass murderer and the Ministry's put a ten-thousand galleon price on my head, I can hardly stroll up the street and start handing out leaflets, can I?" Sirius says grimly.

"And people don't exactly find the wife of said criminal the most trustworthy either," you say bleakly, shrugging.

"I'm not a very popular dinner guest with most of the community," Remus tells. "Occupational hazard of being a werewolf."

"Tonks and Arthur would lose their jobs at the Ministry if they started shooting their mouths off," Sirius explains, "and it's very important for us to have spies inside the Ministry, because you can bet Voldemort will have them."

"We've managed to convince a few people though," Mr Weasley says optimistically. "Tonks here, for one — she's too young to have been in the Order last time, and having Aurors on our side is a huge advantage — Kingsley Shacklebolt's been a real asset too. He's in charge of the hunt for Sirius, so he's been feeding the Ministry information that Sirius is in Tibet."

"But if none of you is putting the news out that Voldemort is back — " Harry begins, but Sirius stops him.

"Who said none of us was putting the news out? Why d'you think Dumbledore is in so much trouble?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asks.

"They're trying to discredit him," Remus explains. "Didn't you see the Daily Prophet last week? They reported that he'd been voted out of the Chairmanship of the International Confederation of Wizards because he's getting old and losing his grip, but it's not true, he was voted out by Ministry wizards after he made a speech announcing Voldemort's return. They've demoted him from Chief Warlock on the Wizengamot — that's the Wizard High Court — and they're talking about taking away his Order of Merlin, First Class, too."

"But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards," Bill chimes in, grinning.

"It's no laughing matter," Mr Weasley says shortly. "If he carries on defying the Ministry like this, he could end up in Azkaban and the last thing we want is Dumbledore locked up. While You-Know-Who knows Dumbledore's out there and wise to what he's up to, he's going to go cautiously for a while. If Dumbledore's out of the way — well, You-Know-Who will have a clear field."

"What's he after apart from followers?" Harry asks quickly.

You exchange a glance with Sirius before he says, "Stuff he can only get by stealth."

Harry stays looking confused, and Sirius continues, "Like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."

"When he was powerful before?"

"Yes."

"Like what kind of weapon?" Harry asks. "Something worse than the Avada Kedavra — ? "

"That's enough."

From the shadows beside the door, Mrs Weasley stands, her expression furious. "I want you in bed, now. All of you."

"You can't boss us — " Fred begins.

"Watch me," she snarls, before turning her unapproving gaze on Sirius. "You've given Harry plenty of information. Any more and you might just as well induct him into the Order straight away."

"Why not?" Harry says. "I'll join, I want to join, I want to fight — "

"No."

This time, it's not Mrs Weasley who speaks, it's Remus.

"The Order is comprised of overage wizards," he says.

"Wizards who have left school," you add quickly, seeing the twins open their mouths. You sigh, pushing your chair away from the table, patting Sirius's arm softly. "Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough. I think it's time everyone got some rest."

He gives a half-shrug but doesn't argue, waiting as Mrs Weasley leads her children and Harry upstairs to their bedrooms.

Later, you yawn around your toothbrush, facing the mirror in the dimly-lit ensuite off Sirius's bedroom.

"She can't seriously think leaving Harry in the dark about all this is the better option," Sirius muses testily, idly fiddling with your jewellery on the nightstand as he talks. "He's not a child. He's deserves to know what's going on."

"I agree."

"And the way she brought up James — as if I can't tell the difference between my best friend and my godson," he continues in frustration. "I know he's not James, of course I know that — "

You spit into the sink, pulling the tap to rinse it out. "She didn't know James. She doesn't know how difficult it is to stop yourself from looking at Harry and seeing him. How hard it is to not look for him and Lily in everything."

"No," Sirius says after a moment. "She doesn't."

You run your hands down your face, sighing. "I can't believe she said that thing about you in Azkaban. I can't believe she would stoop that low, as if you had any fucking choice to be in there."

"She hates me," he says. "Do you see the looks she gives me?"

"She doesn't hate you," you tell him wearily, flicking off the light and closing the bathroom door behind you. You lean against the doorframe, folding your arms. "She's scared and worried about Harry, that's all. She's stressed."

"She's not the only one."

"No, she's not," you say softly, making your way over to where he sits on the bed, gently taking his face in your hands. "Look, forget about it now. What's done is done, there's no use dwelling on it now."

He sighs, leaning into your touch with a small sigh. "You really are the most amazing woman I've ever met."

"I try."

He kisses your knuckles one by one, then presses a kiss to the inside of your wrist. "And clever."

You hum, watching as his lips slowly travel up your arm, arriving at your neck, where he lingers for several moments to kiss every inch of exposed skin he can reach. "And beautiful."

He pulls you toward him so you're straddling his legs, and he grins. "So very beautiful indeed."

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

->-> read chapter twenty-seven here!

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~~~~ More kaishin incorrect quotes~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi*

Kaito: Dom or sub?

Shinichi: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

~~~~~~

Kaito: You look good in that hoodie.

Shinichi: You know where else I'd look good?

Kaito, zero hesitation: My bed.

Shinichi, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Kaito: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Shinichi: WHAT

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.

Kaito: Shinichi, that’s gay.

Shinichi: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

~~~~~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi part 2*

Kaito: I like your new pants!

Shinichi: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Kaito: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Shinichi: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Kaito: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Shinichi: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kaito.

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: You know, Kaito, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi, why are you crying?

Shinichi: This book is so sad!!

Kaito, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Shinichi: your life is really sad kaito

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Shinichi: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Kaito, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Kaito: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Shinichi: But you’re always acting stupid?

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Did it hurt when you fell-

Kaito: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Shinichi: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Kaito: ...

Shinichi: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Shinichi: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Bonjour, Kaito. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Kaito: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Shinichi: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Kaito: WHAT

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Kaito: This is a lie.

Kaito: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Kaito: HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I'm at a loss for words!

Kaito: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Shinichi yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Why are you like this??

Shinichi: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

~~~~~~

Kaito, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice

Shinichi, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

~~~~~~

Shinichi: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Kaito: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Shinichi: Holy shit-

~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi and I are no longer dating.

Shinichi: Kaito, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

[auxlley]

The Ranger's Legacy - Boothill x Reader | Part 1

Genre - Slow burn, flirting, potential romcom with some serious undertones. WIP.

You leaned back in your chair, heaving a slow and weary sigh. The phone call had ended abruptly, your ever-returning client sounded like he was in shambles, his voice tired and raspy through the shoddy line. It had been roughly 3 years since his last visit, and in those 3 years, you had spent extensive time researching both the software and hardware around his complex computing system that made up his bodily autonomy.

Boothill wasn't someone to shy away from danger. He also wasn't the type to take impersonation kindly, apparently. And he would be in your office within moments if he didn't get sidetracked along the way.

You had just finished with a client, a young man with a severe case of mineral deficiency and fatigue when you heard chatter from the lobby area followed by doors slamming and the receptionist doing her best to keep the surprise visitor from making himself welcome in your office.

You sighed as the door was shoved open, a tall, seemingly slender man in a cowboy hat with ink-stained white hair stood in the doorway, the receptionist heaving from running after him.

"Put me in the bubble Doc, I need a rewire and a forkin' break after all the fun I've had to put up with. And make it hasty, yeah? My joints are achin' somethin' fierce. My dumbfork of a handgun jammed again and I can't be bothered to fix it myself. Doctors touch is magic, yeah?" Boothill grinned through sharp teeth, his gaze seemingly tender and kind even though you could see through the farce.

You gestured him to the back beyond the regular clinical area that was otherwise off-limits to other clients. You gave the receptionist an apologetic look and she nodded in understanding.

"I'll go ahead and reschedule your last appointment, they never called for a follow-up after their consultation so it wouldn't be a difficult phone call anyway." She said meekly.

"Thank you, Sandra, go ahead and close up for the day while you're at it. It's almost Happy Hour at the pub." You gave her a wink and Sandra beamed at your generosity, swift on her feet to close the door and make her way back to finish her tasks.

You turned around from the closed door, heaving a heavy sigh, and began to clean up the small area meant for regulars. Putting away the clipboard of patient notes and returning various basic med kit items to their designated shelves you tried not to think too much about the ongoing noise from the room further in. Opening a door labeled with "Off Limits to Staff and Patients" you took in the sight and crossed your arms.

Boothill sat in a chair, his hat and sache neatly placed on the side table as he was doing the initial work to disassemble his handgun, a literal firearm built into his left and right arms, a mechanical system that should be seamless if he took care of himself.

"You know, if you weren't so damn impatient and actually listened to me your body wouldn't be collapsing on itself." You said as you took over, grabbing his arm and adjusting the mechanical array of impressive technical work.

"Oh you wound me Doc. Why of course I listen to you, you're the only dang person on this shirt-stain of a planet with the intellect in both fancy doctorial business and technology with your uh, well whatever it is your title is anyway." He replied in earnest.

"I'm a general practice doctor, Boothill. And it just so happens, for your sorry ass anyway, that I used to work in the technological division of a certain organization we both choose to not acknowledge anymore. Now shut your mouth before I reset your vocal system as well."

"Oh Doc, you wouldn't do that. You're too kind to this rusty son-of-a-nice-lady. How have you been in the time since I've last been here? If I may add, your office looks like some real cow shirt."

You shot him a look without raising your head, garnering a light laugh from the Galaxy Ranger. As robotic as his appearance may be, his actions and personality were more human than some. He was still humble, if not a bit brash. There was a kindness to him beneath all the metal and bullet cases.

"Why the rush into the bubble? Didn't get enough rest in Penacony? You were there for a long while." You carefully placed the removed pistol onto the counter opposite where Boothill sat and began to look through drawers for wool and lubricant.

"I don't even know where to begin with that fork-fest. The lady who was impersonating me wound up being on the same dang team, call that a forkin' surprise, yeah? Aye, that there lube better not be generic, I ain't no simpleton."

You rolled your eyes as you uncapped the lubricant spray and doused the pistol evenly all over. "You know better than to question me Boothill, I'm the one who patches you up and cleans up your mess. And from the looks of it, you got rust building around the gears where your arm receptors patch in. Why haven't you been here sooner for maintenance? Slept like a baby in Penacony?"

Boothill sighed and leaned back in his seat, looking down at his disassembled arm. "Truth is Doc, I ain't been all that honest with ya. The Penacony trip was two years ago, whole mess that fork-fest was. But I got the dang fella who decimated my home, got the closure I needed to move on. But I ain't feel complete yet, like somethin' is missin' and I haven't found it. I've seen and done so many damn things but it ain't enough."

You sighed and sat on a stool and rolled the seat up to his side, taking his other arm and examining where the arm met the elbow. "You got your revenge that you've been so desperate to get, but you haven't thought about the after Boothill. You never think that far ahead either way."

"Oh well ain't you a smart-butt. I do have a plan."

"Yeah?"

"Fork yeah!"

"Tell me about this plan then."

"I... Well... I just-"

"For fucks sake Boothill, going around the cosmos and killing bad guys like some superhero isn't a plan!"

"Yes the fork it is!"

You dropped his arm and shot him a look. "No, it's not. You're not getting any younger Boothill. You need to move on. You need to retire, focus on preserving whatever humanity you have, and move on. The cosmos have their heroes, the new generation of Rangers are doing fine, the Nameless are doing fine."

"There are kids out there that need saving!" Boothill shouted, his hands balled into fists. "Families need help, children need homes, the forkin' IPC ain't doin' anybody any favors. We wouldn't be here if the world was such a fine and dandy place, Doc."

You knew firsthand that the topic of family and survival was a touchy subject for him. "You can't save everybody Boothill, try as you might, you'll just get yourself killed. If not from bullets then by fatigue. Whose gonna save you when you're down?"

"You, Doc." He forced a toothy grin and you couldn't help but chuckle. You took his elbow again, noting the small build-up of rust and worn-down metal where the joints connect. You've tried and failed many times to get Boothill to retire the badge, to relax and accept what life has dealt not just him, but countless others. He was more stubborn than a mule, and trying to convince him otherwise was like talking to a wall.

"You really wanna get in the bubble?" You asked him blankly.

"I got sand all in and around my joints and my wiring got stiff. I can't taste my liquor and my sense of smell is all over the place. Format me, Doc."

You rolled your eyes and got up, making your way to a pod-like capsule that connected to various parts of the ceiling. Its machinery and cable management were tidy, something you made sure of when Boothill came down to visit for maintenance. You took a wired tablet from the slot near the pod and began to swipe through menus, preparing the system for a routine maintenance.

He got up and began to undress the attire he typically had on, pilling it by his hat and sache before stepping inside the pod. His arms and legs slotted into their designated spots and he took a deep breath.

"I improved the system handling while you were gone. The removal process should go smoothly so you'll barely feel a thing." You spoke over the hum of the awakened capsule, its server coming alive as the pod lights flickered on and Boothill was immersed in a soft blue light.

"I sure as hell hope so, Doc." He rested his head back and closed his eyes. Four robot claws drew down from the top of the pod as the transparent door closed. You watched from outside as the four-pronged hands began to remove Boothills arms and legs, careful actions that closely mimicked your own. You heard a chuckle from the pod and glanced up at the only visible human feature Boothill had.

"I'll be damned Doc, this piece of short is smoother than last time. Dare I say better than your fancy hands!" He let out a hearty laugh that you couldn't help but smile at.

"It's been three years, I've had a lot of time to get this thing up to your bougie standards. Once your limbs are off it'll automatically get into cleaning your systems. You'll be out in less than an hour."

"The fork you callin' bougie?"

Writing is hard but Hoolay is harder. Jkjk... I had this in the drafts since June and now that 2.7 is coming up I figured I'd dabble in finding some sorta conclusion. Who knows how long this'll be, but I hope y'all like it!

[jacksdinonuggets]

I'll title this later

Summary: Vaggie has been getting NON-SEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!! nursing urges whenever she's really small. Even though she's a bit ashamed of it, Charlie assures her that its okay and tries to help out with it.

Note: this is NOT a lactation K!nk thing. I am very disgusted by people sexualizing nursing. so this is STRICTLY NON SEXUAL!!! However, I know many people may be very uncomfortable with the idea. You don't need to read this if you're uncomfortable. Also, this probably will only be a one fic thing. I don't mind answering a couple asks about this fic BUT i will not answer if any asks make me uncomfortable.

Requested by an amazing friend! They will remain anonymous because I do not want anyone being mean to them for this request. If you are mean to him even though their anonymous, I hope all your chocolate be melted and every sweet you like be full of ghost peppers.

Charlie had been noticing some things about little Vaggie. First, theres the obvious, which is how she’s an adorable tiny and cute itty bitty wittle angel. But there was something else. Whenever they would be cuddling while Vaggie was small, the angel would sometimes start sucking or nibbling on Charlie’s shirt. It would usually only be whenever Vaggie was in her newborn or very small age and was perhaps hungry. It confused the princess a little and she wanted to talk to her little one about it when she was in her bigger headspace.

“Vaggie? Can we talk?” She asked one night as they were getting ready for bed.

“Um, sure,” Vaggie replied, spitting out her toothpaste. She wiped her mouth on a tissue and threw it away before walking into the bedroom and sat down next to her girlfriend and her stuffed Koala.

“So, I want to talk about a behavior I've noticed while you’re in your newborn and baby headspace,” Charlie started, “Um, I’ve noticed that whenever you’re really young, you sometimes latch onto my shirt. Is there a reason for that?” 

Vaggie put the Koala in her lap and played with his ears as she nervously tried to think of with the words to explain her answer. 

“W-well, S-sometimes I get… nursing.. Urges. It’s non-sexual though! I don’t think about, like, parts when I’m small,” She confessed, blushing and stuffing her face into her plushie for comfort, “It just feels right and comforting…”

“Hey,” Charlie moved Vaggie’s hair that covered her eye to behind her ear so she could see her face, “I’m not mad, or freaked out. I’m really happy that you told me. I know you feel shameful about some of this stuff so I am very proud of you. You are extremely brave, sweetie,” 

“R-really? But it’s weird…” sniffled Vaggie. 

“It’s not, though. You only get the urges when you’re in a newborn or baby headspace, right? Well physical babies also get them. It may feel shameful because some people down here um…exploit it. But it’s the intention that matters. When you’re in your babyspace, you don’t know that there’s intentions other than just wanting to be fed by your mama.” Charlie explained, holding Vaggie close.

“Mhm…” They cuddled in silence for a couple of seconds.

“If you’re comfortable, would you like to try nursing?” Charlie asked.

“Umm… yeah. It just, I think it would be comforting. But how would you do that?” Vaggie looked up.

“Hun, I’m the daughter of Lucifer. I have magic. And there's a bunch of medical stuff I could try too.” Charlie assured her.

“A-alright, then I’d like to try it,” 

“Awesome! Now, let’s get some rest,” Charlie tucked Vaggie in, even if she was still big.

During the night, Charlie could not get a single wink of sleep. She was going over so many ideas and plans of what she’d do. She was so excited to begin her research that it was hard to sleep. So, she quietly got up in the middle of the night and started roaming the halls until she got to the hotel’s basement. When Lucifer had moved in, he put all of his stuff from Charlie’s childhood in there. Charlie had remembered her dad telling her one day that both her mom and him had breastfed her. Though, she still had no idea who birthed her.

After rummaging around some old boxes, she finally found what she was hoping for. It was a book about how to take care of a newborn baby but for parents with magical abilities. It was really good luck that they used magic to breastfeed. If they went the medical route, then she’d have to get lots of appointments set up. After looking at the table of contents, she flipped through and finally found the page. 

The whole night, Charlie practiced the spell. It took a while for her to finally get it right. Luckily, she’d know when it did work because it would make her chest feel a bit more heavy. When she finally got it, she rushed back upstairs so she wouldn’t worry Vaggie if she were to wake early.

After sleeping in for 2 hours, Charlie got up and went to begin the day. She really wanted to tell her partner what she could do now but also wanted it to be a surprise for when she regressed again. So during the day, she tried babying Vaggie a bit. She could tell it was helping her feel small. There hadn’t been any indications that she was uncomfortable or really wanted her to stop so it was fine to do.

Luckily, by that evening, Vaggie was starting to slip. Her lisp was starting to show and she was more clingy than normal. It was very easy to tell she was little. So Charlie took her upstairs to the nursery.

“You feeling small, baby?” She asked, playing with her hair.

“Mhm,” Vaggie mumbled as she snuggled in Charlie’s arms. 

Charlie quickly got her changed and sat her on the floor with her plastic blocks. They played for a while until Vaggie got a little tired. It was normal for her to get tired easily. 

“Mama… cuddles?” She asked, making grabby hands.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Charlie picked her up and sat down on the rocking chair with Vaggie in her lap. She sang soft lullabies as she cradled her. It was pretty easy to tell that her little one had slipped even smaller as she was babbling softly, and could barely say anything.

Soon enough, Vaggie had started sucking softly on Charlie’s sweater. She took a look at the time and realized she was probably hungry since it was dinner. 

“Vaggie, I did some research last night, and if you want, we can try nursing now,” She told her. Vaggie was a little nervous but hesitantly nodded. However, she didn’t latch on when Charlie was ready. She still looked anxious.

“We don’t have to do it if you’re not comfortable, Vaggie.” She said. But the young one shook her head and signed the word for blanket. At first, Charlie was confused, but then realized what she was trying to say. She wanted a blanket to cover her. Having something cover her like a hood often made her feel safe and secure.

Charlie grabbed a small blanket from her side and placed it over her chest and Vaggie’s head. It didn’t take long until Vaggie latched on. She felt her little one relax in her arms as she nursed. She was glad that Vaggie felt safe enough to console her about it and then be willing to try. Shame and embarrassment would surely plague Vaggie’s brain later that night or the next day, but Charlie would try to reassure her the best she could.

[ainadelothwen]

I think enough time has passed that I can talk about Kit's play INFLUENCE in some detail without spoiling it for other people.

I got tickets for a Wednesday night show, front row center. The Collective Theatre is a pretty small, intimate theatre, seating perhaps 50-60 people total. My partner and I ended up being the only people in the front row - which was legitimately great - as it added to the intimacy. I got to watch Kit perform 8 feet away from me all night, got to see every emotion flicker across his face and every gesture of his hand like he was in my own living room.

The first Act is a magic show. And as a magic show, there's a lot of participation from the audience and a lot of banter from Kit. This play was a perfect showcase for Kit and his charming, playful and flirty personality. His crowd work is excellent. I don't think people realize just how much Jesper-energy Kit has naturally. The first Act also allowed Kit to truly demonstrate his physical prowess. Sure, you could probably glean he was good at the sleight of hand stuff with his Jesper gunslinger, and just how in control of his body he is with his dancing, sword fighting, footballing etc but watching the fluidity of his movements on stage, when he's right in front of you, and you STILL don't see how he did the magic trick even though you are paying rapt attention - is something else.

Because my partner and I were the only two in the front row, we ended up on stage with Kit a lot. He appeared bound on stage with duct tape across his mouth and I had to pull it off to free him, to start the play. I think I was gentle enough and I kept the duct tape as a souvenir, along with two playing cards from another trick - is that weird?

There's another trick where my partner had to handcuff Kit and he made a coy comment to my partner about being very good at that, before looking at me and winking. My partner also helped him with a "mind control" trick, which involved them "psychically" connecting another volunteer to think of the same words.

I also got a chance to participate in one of the bigger magic tricks. When you first walked into the theatre, the ushers handed you a pencil, a small envelope and a slip of paper. You were instructed to write down a secret, seal it in the envelope and put your seat number on it, before dropping it off in a clear box on stage. I knew exactly what I wanted to write; my partner agonized a bit longer. At some point in the evening, Kit began pulling unopened envelopes from the clear box and used his "telepathic" powers to read what's on them - and he picked mine!

After "guessing" my name and birthdate, he started guessing the bulk of the secret with me confirming each correct guess (this is the gist of the interaction):

"Would you say you like your job? But you're doing a lot of meetings over Skype? Zoom? Oh, Google Meet? That's the worst one. And those meetings can get boring, yeah? And when you get bored - you start reading -" he was grinning and his eyes were twinkling - "trashy online fan fiction?"

At this point my face felt beet red, the audience was laughing, and all I could think was "My good man, I am reading trashy fan fics about *your character*, and picturing *you* in my mind." And I think Kit knew. It was simultaneously and hilariously embarrassing and a very fun interaction - all because of how well he handled it.

There's a twist in the latter half of the Play (and this is when it becomes a Play) when Kit's more emotional acting really comes through. Then after the show, he does come out to meet the audience - I'll post about that another time - but he's wonderful in real life too.

[flyinghassassin]

Web of Lies

Summary: You arrived Westview searching for a happy life,but Wanda realized your plans.

Word count: 2400ish

Warnings: Angst,Hurt/Comfort,fluff,Agatha being a flirty menace.

Masterlist

A cheerful voice brought you out of your thoughts.

"Hello,Y/N, How are you?"

"Hi,Mrs. Maximoff, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. How are you?"

"I'm fine,thanks sweetie,but please call me Wanda; Mrs. Maximoff is too serious; we are next door neighbors; you have stayed at my house to eat or watch my children when I was busy," she replied smiling.

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. Maxi—I mean Wanda," you said.

"Don't worry, sweetie," she smiled. "This afternoon, Vis and I are going to organize the neighborhood meal; would you like to come? You just got to Westview a little while ago; I guess you don't know everyone yet. If you want to go, it's at 5:00 p.m."

"I'll try to come,but I'm not sure if—"

You were interrupted by the voice of a black-haired woman.

"Wanda,look at that pretty dress," said the raven-haired woman, pointing at the purple dress with gold ribbons.

You had seen her before, walking with Wanda or near the park. Her name was Agape, or something like that.

"My name is Agatha Harkness,hun. And yours?" She said it almost as if she had read your mind.

"Y/N, Miss Harkness. Pleased to meet you," you replied.

"Wanda,you never told me you had such a good-looking and well-mannered friend," said Agatha,nudging Wanda lightly with her elbow.

Wanda sighed and resumed talking to you.

"You're going to the neighborhood meal, then?" asked Wanda. "I'd love to have you there."

"Hun,you totally have to come. The food Wanda makes seems almost magical," she smiled. "Plus, I'd love to have you there too." she winked.

"Well, if you put it that way, I'll have to go." You smiled back.

"I'm glad, Y/N; the twins will be very happy to see you," Wanda said.

"I'll be glad to see you too, hun," said Agatha, winking. "See you later," she added, giving you two effusive kisses on the cheek, making you smell her perfume.

After saying goodbye to both women, you went to your house, and after looking left and right and checking that no one was looking at you, you opened the door.

You left your keys on a table in the hall, took off your shoes, and went to your room.

You took your phone out of your pocket and called the only number you had on that cell phone.

"Agent Y/LN speaking. I need to contact Tyler Hayward."

"Right away, agent," replied the voice on the other end of the line.

"Agent Y/L/N,I was told you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes, director,I have news about the mission at the Westview anomaly."

"Oh yeah? Good work, agent. Add the information to the device created to do the investigation. Any more information you want to disclose?"

"Yes director. I've been invited by Maximoff to the neighborhood potluck."

"Excellent. It will be a good opportunity to gather more information."

"Yes, Director."

"Don't make contact until absolutely necessary, agent. Things are tense, and we can't allow her to suspect you. Our other agent may be in danger of being discovered."

"Should I inform her?"

"No agent. Continue with the investigation," Hayward said before hanging up.

After Hayward hung up, you pulled out a small rectangular device with a button in the center.

From it emerged a hologram that displayed all the information you had gathered about Wanda and the anomaly, along with photos of her and other Westview locations and advertisements, connected to holographic threads with other information, creating a maze of threads, photos, and notes.

You added some more information that you had gotten, creating a data entry for Agatha Harkness and the meal you were going to attend.

After this, you rested for a while and prepared to attend the meal.

You got dressed, grabbed a couple of bottles of booze from the fridge, and headed towards the place where the neighborhood parties were being held.

You greeted the neighbors you met and went to Wanda, who smiled broadly when she saw you arrive.

"There was no need to have brought those drinks,honey."

"Don't worry, Wanda; you invited me, so it seemed like the right thing to do," you replied, smiling. "Where do you want me to leave them?"

"Put them in that cooler over there, along with the rest of the drinks".

You nodded, and after leaving the bottles, you went back to Wanda.

"I'm so glad you were encouraged to come, Y/N."

"Thanks, Wanda. Anyhow, I didn't have much to do this afternoon."

"Enjoy the food,honey. It's on that table over there."

"If you need help,let me know, Wanda." You smiled,trying to hide your true intentions as a S.W.O.R.D. agent. By talking to Wanda,she might relax and inadvertently reveal some secrets that could be useful.

"Don't worry, sweetie, enjoy."

You smiled and headed to the table,grabbing some food and pouring yourself a glass of your favorite drink.

You were talking to some of your neighbors and Wanda until a woman interrupted the conversation you were having with some neighbors.

"I'm so glad you could make it,hun," said Agatha. "Allow me to steal this extremely good-looking neighbor," she added, dragging you out of the conversation.

You let Agatha drag you to one of the tables in the corner and started talking with an abundance of flirting on her part, sometimes making you blush and stumble with your words.

However, thanks to the conversation, you managed to get important information about Wanda: she and her husband, Vision, had had a strong argument, which culminated with him leaving the house to go to sleep somewhere else.

After lunch, you went home and added the new information you had obtained to the information you already had.

After that, you went back to contact Hayward.

"Agent Y/L/N, I told you not to contact me again. This is the second time you have called me today."

"Director, I have important information."

"Release it right now, agent. If it's not good enough, I'm going to relegate you to desk duty."

You rolled your eyes when you heard this. You were one of the best agents S.W.O.R.D. had, and both Hayward and you knew it.

"Vision, the android synthroid, has had a falling out with Maximoff. They're not together right now."

"Great time to strike. I'll get the troops ready then and warn the agent we have there. Too bad Maximoff found out; now you're the only one there."

"This information had not been communicated to me."

"It was not deemed necessary."

"My safety is important. I believe that-"

"Silence, agent. Prepare for attack."

"Director, one last thing. I don't think Wanda is aware of the damage she causes people in the hex."

"I don't care about that. We're going on tonight. Grab your gear and get ready," Hayward replied dryly before hanging up.

"What an asshole!" you muttered.

You prepared your equipment and weapons and waited for nightfall so you could carefully escape from your house and join the rest of the agents.

"Agent Y/L/N, you finally arrived," said Hayward sarcastically.

"I live in Westview; I have to be careful not to be suspected."

"Nonsense. Get ready. Maximoff is coming."

You nodded, rolling your eyes, and after girding your helmet on your head, you waited for Wanda to arrive.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The mission had not gone as expected.

Wanda had controlled the soldiers to target Hayward, and after a tense discussion, she returned to the hex, but not before taking an agent hostage.

She dragged you to her house without saying a word to you,and after arriving at her house, she took you to her basement and, with a snap of her fingers,chained you to a chair.

"Trying to attack my house doesn't seem like a good idea," she said, her voice marked by her Sokovian accent and anger.

You didn't respond, so she wouldn't recognize your voice.

"Oh, so the agent doesn't respond? Let's see who's behind this helmet, shall we?" She said, pulling the helmet off your head.

When she saw your face, it fell to the ground.

"You," she said, her voice marked by surprise and anger.

"Wanda,I'm sorry,I-"

"Shut up!" she snarled,her eyes glowing red. "Really Y/N? You've been in my house, you've been taking care of my kids,and it turns out that all this time,you were working for S.W.O.R.D."

"Wanda, I-"

She held up her hand, shushing you using her magic.

"You lied to me, Y/N. I let you into my house,I talked to you about my family,everything I lost,and this is how you repay me?" she said,tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Wanda, I'm sorry; I never meant to hurt you!"

"You never meant any harm." Wanda laughed dryly. "Lies. You took advantage of me,just like Monica! All S.W.O.R.D. is the same!"

"Is Monica okay?" you asked,with a lump in your throat.

"Yes. But I don't think she's going to be able to say the same about you. You're going to stay here,in chains,watching me destroy your beloved S.W.O.R.D.," he said menacingly,his eyes glowing red.

"Wanda, please,if you surrender peacefully, you can get a deal,but if you attack, you will lose all your chances."

Wanda walked up to you and grabbed your chin hard.

"Shut up before I send you back to S.W.O.R.D. so they can finish you off. For the hostage to come back safe and sound from a person as dangerous as me is not a good sign, is it?"

You nodded in fear.

"Wanda, please don't do anything you might regret."

"Do you regret all the harm you have done to me?" she replied hatefully. "Surely every time you spoke to me it was to get information out of me. Every smile,every joke, and every day taking care of my children was just one more opportunity for you. More information,more ideas on how to steal everything from me."

You didn't respond.

"Answer me Y/N!"

"I'm sorry, Wanda. I really am."

Wanda scoffed and turned away before glaring hatefully at you once again.

Then she went to your house, and with a flick of her wrist, the door opened, and she entered your house.

She walked to your room, looking for something you could gather information on.

After a few minutes, she found a cell phone and checked the contacts; there was only one: Tyler Hayward.

She called, and a male voice answered.

"Agent Y/LN,are you okay?"

"Your beloved agent can't come to the phone right now, Hayward. You've tried to trash everything I cared about,so now I'll return the favor."

"Wanda-"

The call was cut short when Wanda hung up and threw the cell phone on the floor,walking out of your house.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hayward's face denoted anger.

"Get a team ready. Now. The witch is going down."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your mind was racing, looking for ways to get out of the chains that were trapping you.

After trying but not succeeding, you decided to take the last decision you had left: dislocate your thumbs so you could remove your hands and try to get the chains away from your body.

With a grunt of pain, you succeeded and pulled the chains away from your body.

You stood up, put your thumbs back in place, and grabbed your helmet.

You looked around the basement you were in to see if you could find any weapons, and after a while, you found your gun.

You checked and saw that you only had three bullets left.

You put on your helmet, and after putting on your bulletproof vest, you left Wanda's house to prevent her from dying.

After walking for a while, you reached the edge of the hex and got out.

You could hear the screams of agents, the sound of bullets, and the smell of gunpowder in the air, so you quickly went there.

You found Wanda, with a couple of cuts and a bloody nose, surrounded by several agents with some kind of electric gun that prevented her powers from working properly.

Your gaze met Hayward's, and at that moment, you made a decision. S.W.O.R.D. or Wanda The decision was easy.

You raised your gun and pointed it at one of your former comrades' weapons, causing an explosion of sparks to fly out of it and knock him out.

Wanda used that moment of surprise to knock out more agents while you ran to one of the cars, knocking out the driver with the butt of your gun and starting the car's engine.

A mixture of surprise and hatred crossed Wanda's face, and it was in that moment of distraction that a bullet pierced her shoulder, causing her to fall to the ground in pain.

You went to her aid, firing the two bullets that you had left and quickly pulling Wanda into the "borrowed" car.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

When Wanda opened her eyes again, the first thing she saw was your worried face.

She tried to get up, but a piercing pain shot through her shoulder.

"Careful, even if I took the bullet out of you, you're still hurt."

"Where the hell are we?" asked Wanda.

"My house. We'll be safe here for the time being."

"Why?

"Why what?

"Why did you save me?"

You sighed.

"Wanda, I really care about you. It may have been a mission for S.W.O.R.D., but it wasn't for me. I really cared about you. You were someone I could trust."

"Where are my children?"

"I left them my movies and food and told them you were with me to prepare a meal and discuss some stuff so you'll sleep here this night."

"Thank you."

You nodded and stood up.

"I'll bring you the food."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were awakened by a cry of pain.

You quickly ran to the room where Wanda was and found her sitting up in bed, wincing in pain.

"Have your stitches opened up?"

"N-No, it was just a bad dream."

"Do you want me to stay here just in case?"

Wanda hesitated, but after a few seconds, she nodded.

You pulled up a chair and stood next to the bed.

In a moment of boldness, you grabbed her hand.

"I'm going to show you that I really care about you, Wanda. I promise."

A smile bloomed on Wanda's lips.

"If you give me a dish this good again, I might start to believe it."

"Rest assured," you said. "Sleep," you said, giving Wanda a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be here for you."

[queen-of-deans-booty]

There's No Place Like Home: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Charlie is back from Oz but she's not quite how Sam and Dean remember her. You're pretending to be on your best behavior, but you're making it clear that anyone who stands in your way is only going to end up hurt.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Instead of going right to the house Sam wants him to go to, he heads straight to a bar. He's trying to cut down on alcohol but he orders a glass of whiskey. He stares at it as if it's going to give him all the answers. You slink up next to him and order a double, downing it when the bartender gives it to you.

"Are you going to drink that?" you ask Dean.

"You ruin everything," he mutters but you hear him. A grin slowly spreads across your face the more he talks. "You ruin my life, everyone I am trying to save, and even all of your relationships. I look at you and I see a shell of the woman I love."

"Are you done?" you ask and he shakes his head in disgust.

"She's cute."

You and Dean look to your right and see Dark!Charlie in the bar looking at the female bartender.

"At this point... Leave me alone," Dean sighs.

"Something off about you, Dean. I know Y/N must be like me otherwise she'd smoke my ass with magic."

"You're not wrong," you shrug.

"I've made mistakes, but I'll pay for mine and you'll pay for yours."

"Come on, Dean. I'm not the monster here. He was. He got what he deserved. You know I'm right. Do you know what I learned about being dark? It sets you free. Part of you knows that's right, too."

"I like this version better than sparkles," you grin and wink at Dark!Charlie. The bartender comes back and pours you another drink to which you grin. "Thanks."

"Delicious," Dark!Charlie smiles at the bartender. Dean is about to speak but Dark!Charlie beats him to it. "There's no right. There's no wrong. There's just us and them."

"Yeah, well, there's not gonna be a you for very much longer."

"Uh-oh. Did princess me find a way back to Oz?"

"That's right. A former Man of Letters, retired, in Grantville which is two towns over. They're gonna fix the key to Oz, find the wizard, and put you back to where you belong."

"Back into Charlie? Is that where I belong? We'll just see, won't we? In the meantime, if you're not gonna ask her to dance, then I will."

Dark!Charlie follows the bartender who steps into the back to do something. As soon as she is gone, you start laughing as if it's the funniest thing in the world.

"Why are you laughing?"

"She played you, dumbass. You just told her where to find the one person who can fix that key." You grab Dean's drink and down it in one gulp, ignoring the burn on the way down. Dean immediately gets up and leaves the bar, and you quickly follow after him. Just as you exit the bar, you hear the squeal of the Impala's tires peeling out of the parking lot. "And she stole your car. Way to go."

Dean takes out his phone and calls Sam who picks up immediately.

"Sam? Dick Charlie just hot-wired Baby. She thinks she's on her way to you."

"What?"

"I told her the wrong town so I probably bought you a little time, but be on the lookout. I'll be there as soon as I can jack a ride."

"Thanks. Hurry."

"Okay, maybe you're not a complete dumbass," you shrug.

Dean picks a car that is unlocked and works on hot-wiring it. Seconds later, the car revs to life.

"Get in."

With an eye roll, you do.

Dean rushes over to the wizard's place before Dark!Charlie can get there. Looks like you beat her to the punch because the Impala is nowhere to be found. A gunshot comes from inside the house and Dean is about to go inside when he hears the rumble of his car approaching.

Dark!Charlie screeches to a stop in the driveway and steps out of the car.

"I figured you'd lie about where to go next. That's what I would do."

"What the hell do you want?" Dean glares.

"I just want to talk to her."

"Oh, you're not going anywhere near her. I'm not gonna let you corrupt her."

"Corrupt her?"

Both you and Dark!Charlie giggles but you stop when you see Dean glaring at you.

"If you take one more step, I'm gonna put you down."

"There's the Dean I love," she grins.

Dean is not in the mood to be tested right now, and he doesn't care if Charlie is a girl or not. She decides to take a step to see what he would do, and he punches her in the face hard enough to draw blood but not hard enough to break a bone.

"You hit like a girl who never learned how to hit," she smirks.

They both begin to fight but since she is all the bad parts of Charlie, she gains the upper hand pretty quickly. He keeps punching her and you know that whatever she feels, Charlie feels. The thought brings a smile to your face.

"Will you help me?" Dean yells at you.

"It looks like you have it."

"If I die, you die! Don't you get that!"

Fine. If he wants you to fight Charlie, you're going to fight her. You don't care if it's going to hurt the real Charlie. You grab her shoulder and yank her off Dean before throwing her to the ground.

"I thought you were on my side!"

"I'm on the side that keeps me alive and right now, you're not it."

She gets up but you punch her as hard as you can in the jaw. She tumbles to the ground again but catches her footing at the last second. This time, it's her against you. She runs at you and smashes into your body, making you crumble to the ground. She grabs your hair and yanks on it but you don't give her time to do damage.

You kick her off you and get up quicker than she can. She goes to punch you but you grab her arm and keep it steady. She locks eyes with you and you snap her arm in half like it's the easiest thing in the world. She lets out a scream of pain just as Charlie does inside the house.

Dean gets up and approaches Dark!Charlie, letting the Mark take over his rational thought. He punches her and tosses her onto the ground like she's a ragdoll.

"You hurt my friend."

"I learned it by watching you."

Dean gets on top of her and continues to punch her until Sam comes rushing outside with Good!Charlie in his arms. You were so busy fighting her that you didn't hear the second gunshot go off inside.

"Dean! Dean!"

Dean looks back and comes out of his trance when he sees the damage done to his friend. Sam lays Good!Charlie next to Dark!Charlie, and both of them look at each other with blood all over their face. You only have minimal scratches since you wouldn't let her get a punch in, but Dean is the one with a slightly bruised nose and busted knuckles.

He did most of the damage and it's going to haunt him every single time he looks at her.

"You did it, didn't you? You killed the wizard?" Good!Charlie nods and Dark!Charlie chuckles. "I knew it. The magic was in you all the time. Celeste."

Sam places the key to Oz in Good!Charlie's hand and steps back. Suddenly, blue magic connects the good to the bad and puts back the darkness inside the light. Soon, only one Charlie is lying on the ground as they merge into one. Sam immediately goes to her and holds her and she cries in his arms.

She looks up at you and Dean, seeing two different people before her. One has guilt written all over the face and one doesn't feel remorse. One won't be able to forget about this while the other will forget about it the very next day. Dean is almost in tears for what he did while you don't have a hint of remorse anywhere in your body.

Sam and Dean take you and Charlie back to the Bunker so she can rest and does so for two days. Two days of fighting with the Winchesters about you and what you've done. This is who you are now. They can either embrace it or let you go, and you know they won't let you go.

Sam is typing on his laptop in the war room while Dean is sitting in the library staring at the hands that almost killed his friends while you're sitting back and enjoying a drink from Dean's stash. Charlie walks into the Bunker with a sling on her arm from where you broke it. This is the best they can do until she can get to a hospital for a proper cast.

"Shouldn't you be resting up?"

"I think sleeping for two days in a row is probably enough."

"So, are you...?"

"Good? Bad? I think I'll just settle for balanced." She looks up and notices you and Dean. "Anything about the Mark?"

"Yeah, maybe. I found this book. It's a lore book called 'The Book of the Damned'." At the mention of that, you look up and watch Sam. If he found a book to get rid of the MArk, you'll have to find it first and destroy it. There is no way you're getting rid of it. "It's in a library somewhere in Tuscany. It might be a dead end but I figured--"

"I'll go check it out," she offers. "Look, there's no going back to Oz. With the wizard gone, Dorothy will be fine."

"So, does this mean no more adventure?"

"I think we have all the adventure we can handle right here."

"What about Dark!Charlie?"

"She's quiet. I just have to keep moving forward. We all do." She looks once more at you and Dean before walking into the library to deal with the after-effect of her almost dying at both your hands. "We are going to fix this. I'm not letting what happened to me happen to you two."

"What if I like being this way?" you ask and everyone looks at you. "Have you thought of that?"

"I refuse to accept that."

"You can't fix what already happened," Dean sighs.

"Cain found a way to live with it."

"After centuries of murder," you say.

"Yeah, well, there's one thing that you two have that he didn't. You're a Winchester. I forgive you, Dean."

"Yeah, well, I don't."

"I know. That's kind of your move." She turns to you and smiles sweetly. "I forgive you, too."

You set your drink down and stand up. Everyone is on edge just from that single move, and you walk closer to her in intimidation. It seems to work since she backs away slightly but she is a brave one. Sam goes to stop her but you hold out your hand as if to say, "Don't worry, I won't hurt her."

"Let me get one thing clear. The only reason you are still alive is because of them. Had they not been there, I would have killed you. I do not feel guilty for what I did. I actually liked it. Whatever part of me found you tolerable is gone. You better hope that you don't see me without them by my side."

You're not you. You're not this person. Charlie has to remind herself of that before she allows herself to get hurt because of you. She knows you're only saying this to hurt her so she doesn't let you know that your words do affect her.

"I'm gonna get you back."

"Let the games begin," you smirk and back away from her.

You leave the library and Charlie says goodbye to the brothers, leaving Sam and Dean alone in the library.

"We gotta find that book," Dean says. "I can't go another day of my wife being this person. I'll do my part and fix her soul but I need your help finding that book. We gotta end this."

"Then let's get to work."

x

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[ominous-faechild]

✦ Character Voice Tag 3 ✦

Hopping on open tags from @the-golden-comet (X) and @paeliae-occasionally (X)!

Lines used: ✦ "Okay, confess: WHO ate the last bite?!" from the-golden-comet ✦ "I care about your safety" from paeliae-occasionally ✦ "Are you threatening me?" kidnapped from @drchenquill

Your line(s) (pick one or more!): ✦ "Why, I oughtta!" ✦ "I have a terrible feeling about this..." ✦ "Everything's great, nothing's wrong at all!"

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, Daleira, Maritza, Soren, Faer, Valyarus, Ponderosa, Marlon

“Okay, confess: WHO ate the last bite?!”

Frey: (*smiling ominously*) Hey, who took the last bite? It's okay--I just want to talk.

Crow: WHO POURED OUT MY BLOOD?--I don't care how gross it is!--OR IF YOU FIND IT UNETHICAL??? If it's in a damn container, it's already been harvested! You're just going to make me have to find more elsewhere! Do you know how hard it is to get that stuff? It's not like I just sip that shit straight out of anyone's necks, you know!?!? I try to get it ethically! AND DUMPING IT JUST MAKES THAT HARDER--

Daleira: I put my name on that... 😟

Maritza: Real cool, guys! Just stealing the last bit?? Did you even think to check if anyone else hadn't had any yet?

Soren: (*silent frustration. Won't act on it, though... or at least, not obviously. Will, however, investigate who did it and very subtly sabotage them until he's satisfied. Tbf, it won't take long.*)

Faer: Just know, whoever you are... you're no better than an animal.

Valyarus: (*summons everyone who possibly could've done it into the same room and sets a "truth" spell upon it--making it so everyone inside is unable to lie*) Valyarus: Who stole my daughter's food? (*scans everyone's faces as nobody speaks up*) Valyarus: (*smiles darkly*) Let's try this again. Confess to your crime, have someone else expose you, or have me find out the truth the hard way and face the consequences for making this difficult.

Ponderosa: (*magically slams the doors open with wind, using as much force as they can muster*) WHO STOLE MY TARTS??? WHO???? I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Marlon: (*casually, as though talking about the weather; but loudly, as to make sure everyone in the room can hear*) Whoever it is that took the last of the desserts... (*raises his wineglass and takes a drink with a poorly-repressed smirk*) Marlon: (*finally, looks down at the glass and "admires" it for a long moment before slowly scanning everyone's faces again*) ... I'll send my condolences to your family.

"I care about your safety"

Frey: Look, I--... (*struggling for words, and especially to not say exactly what she means*)... listen, don't get hurt out there, okay? I'd hate to see you hurt. Or... find out that.. worse happened. Crow: (*teasingly, winking and nudging her with their elbow*) Oh? Is there something else you're meaning to say? Frey: (*snaps, throwing her arms up*) Yeah, don't fucking disappear like my dad, got it!? Crow: (*oope, humbled--*) Crow: Of course. Who do you take me for? 😅 Frey: (*avoiding looking at them, turning to leave herself*) Someone who does a lot of dumb and reckless things. Crow: Crow, to themself: (well, that's just mean.)

(later...)

Crow: Hey, uh... Frey? Frey: What's up, bird brain? Crow: 😑 Crow: (*struggling--*) Listen, I just... I'm going to go get my charm refilled from--from the old guy, y'know? Frey: (*looks up from her book*) Yeah, okay?... and? 🤨 Crow: What do you mean, "and?" Frey: You sound like you have something else to say. Crow: Crow: (*looks away, mulling over their words*) Crow: Just... take care of yourself. Frey: Frey: (*frowns, about to ask why that sounds so final--*) Crow: And if I don't come back... I'm sorry. Frey: (*alarmed, quickly stands up--*) Crow: (*sinks and disappears into their own shadow, already teleporting away... to do something incredibly dumb and reckless.*)

(oh btw y'all? Those two scenes are 100% canon. 👀😘)

Daleira: (*first time*) I... I love you, okay? Don't do anything stupid. Daleira: (*any other time; sweetly*) Take care of yourself, don't be an idiot. I love you. 😊

Maritza: Please take care of yourself... Soren: You know I can't promise that. Maritza: I know, but... still. Please. Soren: (*sighs heavily, pinching his nose and scanning the room*) Soren: "My best" is all I can guarantee. Maritza: That's enough...

Soren: (*during an absolutely horrible storm while they're at sea*) When you finish, get below deck. I’ll take care of everything up here. Frey: Don't! Don't stay-- Soren: Freya, somebody needs to steer the ship. And my-- Frey: (*swiping her hand out furiously, crying*) AND I NEED A DAD! Soren: (*face softens for a moment, then hardens again*) Soren: (*sternly*) This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I can control the waves to keep us safe. I just need to make sure you’re all— Frey: THEN COME DOWN WITH US! Do it from below deck! Soren: Freya, as your captain, I order you to go to safety while I steer the ship! Are you going to disobey your captain? Frey: (*venomously*) FINE! What do I care!? ominous-feychild:

(GUESS WHAT ELSE IS A CANON SCENE BTW!? ^^^)

Faer: Are... you sure this is a good idea? Daleira: What? Faer: Doing... this. I just-- Daleira: Look, I'm not arguing with you on this. She needs m-- Faer: Does she really, though? What, worst case scenario they put her in a cell and-- Daleira: Faer. I hate to tell you this, but you know nothing of what this place is like. You stay in here, by yourself, isolating yourself from humanity on purpose. You don't know what they'll actually do to her. Even though she's not guilty. Are you really saying you'd be okay with something like that? Faer: ... I just don't see why it's your responsibility, Daleira. Daleira: (*stunned speechless*) Daleira: Daleira: ... look. If nothing else, I owe her and Soren this much. She came here because of me. But, really? I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do. Think about that, would you? (*magically folds into herself, disappearing*) Faer: ... Faer: (*is, in fact, going to think about that!*)

(also canon, whoops^^)

Valyarus: You shouldn't be mixing yourself in with their business. Ponderosa: (*stirs the wind around the room, drifting toward Valyarus with their face twitching and hair turning into stormclouds*) Ponderosa: Who do you think you are to tell me what to do, old man? Valyarus: You know the answer to that question, Aspen. Ponderosa: (*throws their hands up and flying backwards, accidentally making the winds all the more violent. Zips back forward to jab a finger into Valyarus's chest*) STOP CALLING ME THAT! I'M NOT 'ASPEN'! Valyarus: (*calmly, looking them up and down*) That's besides the point, Asp--... Ponderosa: (*fists and teeth clenched, their "hair" thundering--*) Valyarus: (*takes a slow, deep breath and sighs, closing his eyes for a second before meeting theirs again*) Still. It's dangerous to-- Ponderosa: Yeah, well, I don't care what you have to say! You're not my dad, and I don't have to do SHIT that you tell me to! Valyarus: Isn't that the same thing you said about Saifel? Valyarus: (*oope, went too far--*) Ponderosa: (*FITE!!!!*) Ponderosa: (*barely going to manage to get any hits in, and gets nowhere near actually "winning" the fight. After almost an hour, passes out from magical exhaustion. Valyarus moves them to sleep it off in a guest bedroom in his home.*)

(at this point, just assume these are all canon.)

Ponderosa: (*sneaks into Marlon's office by turning themself into pure air, slipping through the cracks in the window, and appearing full-formed in his office!*) Marlon: (*on the ground surrounded in medical supplies; gritting his teeth as he works on treating his own injuries--*) Ponderosa, shocked: Marlon? Marlon: (*tenses, immediately stopping what he was doing to stand and point his medical scissors like a dagger*) Marlon: (*at the same time, pulled water out of hidden pots to form an array of floating knives around Ponderosa*) Marlon: Ponderosa: (*awkward smile!*) Just me. Marlon: (*half groans, half sighs, but leans against his desk as he drops himself back to the ground and works on treating his injuries again. Much more easily returns the water to the hidden pots*) Marlon: (*curtly, through his teeth*) Sorry. Ponderosa: 'sokay. (*floats a few feet above his head to watch him*) What happened? Marlon: (*doing his best to ignore them above him*) Got jumped. Wasn't prepared for it. Didn't have enough water nearby. Here we are. Ponderosa: (*chews their lip, not understanding the weird feeling in their chest. Are they sick? Did somebody curse them??? That must be it; it would make sense. Lots of people hated them. They'll have to find a shaman to check it out.*) Ponderosa: (*before they can think better of it, blurts*) Have you ever thought about other jobs? Marlon: Marlon: (*looks up at them in shock*) You... do realize that this kinda thing is for life, right? Even if I find a successor, I'm still going to have to look after the mafia after I 'retire'. I'll still have people gunning for my life. Quitting would be even more dangerous than it is for me now. Ponderosa: (*takes a long moment to mull it over and internalize it*) Ponderosa: (*finally, pouts*) That's not fair. Marlon: (*still shocked they even asked, but chuckles weakly and returns to treating his wounds*) Maybe, kid. But I chose this a long time ago. Don't worry about me. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*jerks higher in the air, nearly ramming into the ceiling*) WORRIED about you??? What??? I'm not worried!!! Y'know what, you're boring! GOODBYEEEE! (*and hurriedly leaves the same way they came*) Marlon: (*busts out laughing despite the pain*)

(Ponderosa's kinda immortal/Marlon doesn't have any reason to worry about their safety, but I already wrote a scene as close to that as possible in the last post? Here's a prequel!)

Marlon: (*suddenly*) You know, I've been thinking. Ponderosa (*perks up, quickly floating to his side to eye his paperwork*) You have? What's up!? You have something else for me to do? Oooo, please tell me it's destro-- Marlon: (*sighs slowly, ruefully looking up at them*) That's... not quite what I was thinking of. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*frowns, confused, and twists their head (and the rest of their body in the process)*) What do you mean? Ponderosa: (*before he can speak, perks up and grins awkwardly*) Oh! It's not about me, is it? Marlon: No, it is-- Ponderosa: (*at the same time*) --Sorry! Both: Ponderosa: (*frowning more*) It's about me? But how, if you're not asking me to do something? Marlon: (*sighs, dropping his pen to massage his nose... and avoiding looking at Ponder. Isn't expecting this to go well*) Well, it is... but it's not for the mafia. It's for you. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*slowly drifts upside-down and steadily kicks their feet*) That's weird. What, you want me to try new foods again? (*crinkles their nose, rightening*) Wait, I am NOT trying to make friends again! Marlon: (*drops his hand from his face to meet their eyes, prepared for their temper-tantrum*) I think you should learn to defend yourself without magic. Ponderosa: WHAT!?!?!? Marlon: There's been a mass--! Ponderosa: (*already storming it up in the room*) I WILL NOT!!! Marlon: (*already given up on the papers flying everywhere; shouting to be heard above the wind*) LISTEN! There's been a mass of antimagic devices flooding the market! If you-- Ponderosa: (*plugs their ears and closes their eyes*) LALALA, I'M NOT LISTENINGGGG! Marlon: I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! KID, DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? Ponderosa: (*opens their eyes and drifts backwards, snarling*) Ponderosa: I don't care what you have to say! BYEEEE! Marlon: KID! I SWEAR TO THE GODS-- Ponderosa: (*turns to air and slips through the window*) Marlon: (*face flushed in anger, but admittedly not surprised. Lets out a heavy, frustrated sigh as he scans the mess that is his office. Papers, books, water, furniture, and broken glass is everywhere... and he's going to have to clean it all up.*)

(Bonus: a general "I care about you" that I wrote before realizing it didn't count, haha. Can you tell I love these two?)

Ponderosa: (*flipping in circles in the air*) Marrrrrrlooooooonnnn, I'm booooooredddd! Marlon: (*looks at them over his reading glasses*) I'm doing paperwork. Don't you have anything else to do? Ponderosa: (*pouts, hanging upside-down with their arms under their legs as they watch him*) But you don't want me messing with your grunts! Marlon: (*quirking an eyebrow*) That never stopped you before. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*makes a face*) Well, I just don't want to right now! And you can't tell me what to do, so! Ponderosa: (*grins and spins to be right-side-up*) Entertain me! Marlon: Hm. (*skims over his paperwork for another moment before sighing and putting it down*) Fine. I suppose you deserve a treat for good behavior. (*smirks a bit--*) Ponderosa: (*whines*) I'm not a DOG! (*not actually upset; knows he's just joking*)

I love characters who say "I care about you/your safety" without actually saying it, and instead imply it through their actions-- 🥰

"Are you threatening me?"

Frey: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Say that again. I dare you.

Crow:(*can't help a small, goofy grin*) Did you want to try that again? or, alternatively: (*straight-faced unimpressed*) Spare us both the trouble. Walk. away. (really depends on their mood/the timing which one they are, haha)

Daleira: (*freezes, then looks at them incredulously*) I--I'm sorry. You--you do know who I am, right? What I am? I--I don't think you understand-- (*pleadingly*)

Maritza (if a mugging): Listen, whatever you want, I'll give it to you. Just, please, for both of our sakes--don't take this any further. Maritza (if it's political): (*laughs sharply, surprised*) I'm sorry, did you really think that would work?

Soren (if it involves Frey): (*angry head tilt; eyes them with a look of pure, barely-contained rage*) Go anywhere near my daughter--or have anything else do so on your behalf--and I will personally make sure that not only do you never die, but the rest of your miserable existence will be in agony. Soren (excluding Frey): (*quirks an eyebrow*) Are you sure about that?

Faer: (*stunned silent*) His literal cyborg bobcat "pet" Gullveig: (*growls, putting herself between Faer and the person who made the threat*) Faer: (*frowning, steps around Gullveig while meeting their eyes. Calmly*) ... I don't think you know who you're threatening. I spent a majority of my life fighting creatures far stronger than you just to survive. I'd recommend you leave before I decide to take you seriously.

Valyarus (if it's someone significantly weaker than him): (*scoffs, then magically seizes their body and drags them just an inch away from his face, snarling. Evenly, with hints of anger underlying his voice*) I'm sure you misspoke. Would you like to try that again? Valyarus (if it's someone near his level): (*can't help grinning, almost bouncing with joy; maliciously*) Oh, really? Say that again? I'm sorry--I just want to make sure I heard you correctly. Valyarus (if it's someone he knows he can't beat): (*fighting a snarl, maintains a passive expression*) Of course... forgive me, {sir / ma'am / mixter}.

Ponderosa: Who do you think you are? (*literal murder time*)

Marlon (if it's physically): (*eyes them up and down, gauging whether or not he thinks he can beat them in a fight*) Marlon (if he thinks can win): (*laughs, grinning darkly, but anger behind his eyes*) Walk out with your life while I still feel merciful. And hope I don't change my mind after you've left. Marlon (if he thinks can't win): (*subtly presses his "call Ponderosa; I'm in danger" button*) Really?... what are your conditions. (*stalls for time; will defend himself to the best of his ability if a fight starts*) Marlon (if it's political): That's bold of you... so. What makes you think this'll work?

The "someone just threatened them" one was really fun! Haha, then again, they were all pretty fun. The "I care about your safety" one was pretty much all canon scenes that were just floating around my head, so I guess it wasn't too bad to get them put down!

I'm ngl, I wasn't expecting Soren's “Freya got threatened” one to go so far, but I guess it really goes to show his fatherly protectiveness, haha. Despite his major absence in her life, he really does love her more than anything else. 🥺😭

And it's hilarious to me just how much Valyarus loves fighting / craves to fight someone or thing on his level, haha. Curious about that? Leave an ask!

Also, yes, lmao, Marlon is a mob boss and Ponderosa is his willing attack dog... 99% of the time. Curious about that? Leave an ask! 😉

What do you guys think of the formatting of these? My personal outlines are traditionally formatted like this, but I've been told before that my they can be hard to read, so I worry that might also be the case for these. 😅 But, uh, idk how else I'd put them down, haha.

Tag list: @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @the-letterbox-archives

@yourpenpaldee @mysticstarlightduck @darkandstormydolls @wyked-ao3 @ashirisu

@urnumber1star @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa + open tags!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[dardinan-ingellvar]

Interview About Emmrich

(These are the questions asked about Dorian toward my Inquisitor. Figured I'd answer them about Emmrich this time) Hello, Dardin'an.

Hello!

How are you doing?

Alright, could be better, I suppose. Bit worn down after the whole 'fighting two gods' thing...But I'm good.

Let's begin.

1. Who is your partner? Tell us a bit about them.

Emmrich Volkarin. He's a professor in the Necropolis, smart, charming, kind, witty....handsome as hell, and quite the silver fox...

2. How did you meet, and how did you get together?

Oddly enough, we never actually met during my time learning under the Mourn Watch...I'd heard his name float around, I think...It sounded familiar anyway. And I always got the feeling we'd met before, but...Ah well...We met after a bit of a catastrophe involving two dragons in two different cities...I picked Treviso...but it wasn't enough, and we needed a dragon expert, and a Fade expert. The first time I saw him, his head was a glowing green skull, but I fell hard and fast. And then he showed his true face after a few moments, and I was done for. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen...Somehow nostalgic, like filling a void I didn't even know I had. After some light flirting, a couple dates, and almost being lost in the Fade forever, we made it official...I mean, I was bound to him the moment I laid eyes on him, but...You know...'official'...*wink, wink*

3. What is your partner's best physical feature?

His smile, his eyes, his hair, his mustache...his height...I really might be able to list every single thing.

4. Name one hobby or passion of theirs.

Hmm...I mean, he is big on alchemy, and he has numerous collections...books, skulls, jewelry...I think that last one might be the strangest. And he has this one bracelet he says started it all...I swear one of my first lovers had one just like it, but it looks custom...And I don't remember which one, even though I seem to remember giving them one...But...Uh...Can we move on? Something's...weird.

5. Name one thing you like about their personality.

He's kind. Like, in ways most people aren't. Even though he did wish for Lichdom, and being truly immortal like them, nothing he does is selfish. He even sacrificed his chance at his dream to save our son's life. Our son, the...talking skeleton, by the way. He's quite the wisp. Even knows magic now.

6. Name one thing you dislike about their personality.

He can be a little obsessive. Don't get me wrong, that's not inherently bad. In fact, I find it endearing more than anything. But he has tried to take half the library with him on certain ventures, including a camping trip with Harding. It's cute, but it can get in the way of actual experiences. It's about the worst thing I can think of...and it's not even that bad. Oh! That, and he's a little *too* proper sometimes. I do think he could do to relax more, you know? Let loose, let his hair fall out of place a little from time to time...But I also think it's part of his charm...So...Heh...I'm so disgustingly smitten, I know it.

7. What is something you absolutely love about them?

Haven't I gushed enough? No...Scratch that. I'll never gush enough. He's just the best thing that could have ever happened to me. He's always putting me first, while I'm doing the same for him, we're wildly compatible, in just about every way, and even when we aren't spending time together, everything just...feels right, knowing we're together as a couple. Like, in ways I've never felt right before...

8. What is something you absolutely cannot stand about them?

Yeah, I really listed the worst things already...There's nothing I can't stand...Well...Actually...That's a lie. I would like to wake up next to him, but the man wakes up at the most Blighted hours of the morning, so I'll never beat him to it. I do hate that.

9. Is your partner the romantic type? Do you want them to be?

He is a true, old-fashioned romantic, in the best way...And I wouldn't have it any other way. He was entirely about sweeping me off my feet before we...'consummated', and wouldn't even kiss me until we had a proper dinner by candlelight. I am constantly in awe of how much effort he puts into the more romantic moments...

10. What makes them special to you personally?

I...know this is going to sound weird, but...I don't know. Like, he just makes me feel a certain kind of way, like I knew him before...Well, before I existed. And after I met him, looking back on past loves, I think I was always looking for him? Like, I was meant to find him somehow, or more like I needed to...He isn't my first love by a long shot, but he is the only one that's felt real...But I didn't know that until I met him. It's hard to explain.

11. How much do you think your partner loves you?

As much as I love him, at the very least. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and he shows it every time we're together. I often wonder if he feels the same familiarity I feel with him...even though it doesn't make a lick of sense.

12. Do you want to be with them for the rest of your life? Do you think you will be?

I...may have a ring and a promise at the ready. But that's just between us......As to whether we will be together for the rest of our lives? I mean, I lead a dangerous life, but he is 20 years older than me. I'm not blind to the fact that he's likely going to die before me...though I could just as easily make a wrong move and die in a fight against some new ancient horror that's been unleashed on the world. But we'll be together as long as we can. That much I do know.

...And before you ask, yes, it's an age gap...I get it. I'm a proper adult, and I know what I'm doing. If I'd met him when I was freshly 18, I would understand the odd looks and questions, but I'm 30. I'm aware of who I am and what I can handle.

13. How are they in bed? Do you enjoy the sexual side of your relationship? Or do you not want to talk about it?

Heh...He's surprisingly less 'proper'. I'll leave it at that. But I love it. He knows how to light up the nerves at the slightest touch...He really wasn't joking when he said he was 'familiar with the finer points of anatomy'...The man is an expert. In all kinds of ways and practices. So...Okay, maybe I went deeper than planned, but it was worth it.

14. What is your partner's family like? What do they think of you?

Well, they are dead, but we visit his parents' graves often...He says they'd have loved me. They were apparently very kind, much like he is. So...It is nice to think about. I only wish I could give him the same promise, but my parents left me in a tomb...So...I don't know if that was so I'd be found, or to bury a regret...And I don't think I ever will.

15. Do you think you and your partner are good parents to your kids? What is the best and worst part about parenting?

Manfred is in the best hands he could possibly be with Emmrich. And I do my best. It's oddly natural with him. Maybe it helps he's not a baby though. I've always been a little uncomfortable around those.

Thank for taking this interview, Dardin'an.

Anytime! I'm an open book!