#yeah i know what kerwin did

[anleioz]

Doomed (A King's Choice Greg x Kerwin Drabble)

(actually more like kerwin having an unrequited love for greg)

“Loyalty and honesty are two of the most important principles in life.”

Kerwin heard from Greg, a sentence that felt almost like his own. Those words always had characterized the loyal and most versatile knight of the monarch of Niveal. Kerwin knew it, and Kerwin was also… very proud of it.

Seeing a knight as devoted and trustworthy as Greg was something that would fill anyone's chest with a contentment feeling. Or at least that was what the Prince thought.

Nevertheless, the young monarch also felt his chest heavy and clenched with those exact words.

And looking at the brunette through the crowd, so full of pride and seriousness yet with a kind smile and glance- the kind of looking that would make everyone sure that, if needed, he would be the person there to fix whatever could be wrong, the redhead felt a pang of disappointment.

When Greg met him with his gaze, Kerwin held the look into his eyes without hesitation, and that was the very moment when the poor Prince felt his heart squeezed by the pain.

Those gentle eyes suddenly turned into a hateful stare and his warm trusty expression became stern and dark.

Kerwin was raised with principles, not by his father but by his beloved mum who may rest in peace. He knew everything a Prince should know and more, he had been proving his worth and deserve of trust.

He was an honest man, more honest than his father, and more honest than every of those enemies he had been helping the new Monarch of Niveal to confront.

Not only that, but he did that not because he wanted someone in reward, but he did want his dear friend, the descendant of the King that his father had been betrayed and murdered, to be safe and victorious. He wasn't looking forward to anything, but still...

Kerwin felt that, even so, he was waiting for some recognition from Greg.

Not at first, but currently.

The redhead felt insulted every time the confident knight questioned his actions and loyalty with the Kingdom of Niveal, and Kerwin was well aware about the fact that being the son of the Usurper of the Throne it would be hard to be considered trustworthy.

But his friend, the current Monarch of Niveal, accepted him and his loyalty faster than what he thought. And then after so many battles and uncountable risks they overcame together, Kerwin had sworn eternal loyalty to Niveal’s Kingdom and its Monarch.

And even when everyone trusted him from that point on, sooner or later, he still couldn't reach Greg.

Kerwin sighed when nobody watched him, allowing himself to feel that storm in his mind.

“May I deserve him,” he murmured to himself.

It was such a stupid question, he thought, and he was sure it wasn't actually a big deal. But he also felt like he was being twisted between unfair hands.

But his whole life was unfair. Life itself. So what was he whining and complaining about? He wasn't a kid anymore.

“Let's go to the banquet hall,” Talbot said, escorting Niveal's governor side by side with Greg.

Kerwin met his eyes with Greg's one more time when they were about to leave, quietly staring into each other's gaze.

“Greg?” Talbot looked at his comrade with a questioning expression.

The mentioned one, though, didn't stop looking at the heir of Aves.

“What are you two doing?”

“Nothing,” both of them answered simultaneously, and then the monarch chuckled softly.

“Well, then…” Kerwin and Greg felt that cautious look wander over them for a few seconds, “Kerwin, Greg, let's go to the banquet hall before Lance reminds us to do so.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

No matter how hard Kerwin tried, it was clear Greg would never genuinely trust him. And deep inside he knew the knight had his reasons.

However, that didn't mean he was alright with the fact. Being always compared and recalled by him was so frustrating, he wasn't his father… he was his own person, right?

Kerwin wasn't doomed to the same path as his father.

But Kerwin was doomed to fail in his love life the minute he fell in love with the person who hated him the most.

[angelhummel]

hi, I just wanted to ask your opinion on Ashley kerwin, since I've never seen you talk about her and I know that she's a very talked about character in not the best way

personally, I thought she was okay even though I understand a lot of what people who don't like her are saying, I never particularly hated her and could sympathise with her

Yeah! Like she's not my absolute favorite but I don't think she deserves hardly any of the hate she gets. Once again, compared to the rest of the characters that have done much worse and still have a loyal fanbase... idk why you would signal Ashley out as the worst. Although the show does that itself plenty of times so idk

Keep in mind I've only seen her run on the show like one and a half times so I could easily be forgetting stuff she did. But the only purposefully mean thing I remember her doing was taking Jimmy's rap off her track (when it was the only part of the song anyone liked lmao). Everything else is just her being weird or cringey or depressed. So you know, normal 13-18 year old girl stuff

So yeah she's not my favorite but she's far from the worst character on the show. And she doesn't deserve even half of the hate she gets. That's my final verdict lol

[evenstevensranked]

#19: Season 3, Episode 15 - “The Big Splash”

Louis surprises everyone by joining the diving team, but then surprises no one by only doing cannonballs. This eventually leads to Louis reevaluating the future he envisions for himself. Should he remain a class clown forever? Or should he start taking life more seriously? Meanwhile, Ren’s on a mission to win “Best Smile” in the yearbook.

We start our episode with Tawny, Twitty and Tom (oh wow I just realized that all of Louis’ friends names start with the letter T lol) sitting in the stands at a school dive meet. Louis told them to go, yet he’s suspiciously nowhere to be found. Until a mysterious hooded guy walks out with LJH’s team, dramatically takes off the hood and… yeah. It’s Louis. Louis is apparently good at diving according to Twitty and Coach Tugnut (“Stevens, you don’t stink so bad!”) but he decides to squander his talent for laughs instead by doing cannonballs. It’s so cringy. Not only because doing cannonballs at a dive meet and soaking the entire audience & judges is beyond immature -- but, because his cannonballs are so fake lol. There’s the initial surface splash, and then an immediate second one that looks like a freaking nuclear bomb. Unless we’re all watching this from the perspective of Shallow Hal and Louis is actually 600 pounds, it makes no sense. I know it’s just for the lulz... but still. The gang gets a kick out of it.

We cut to the subplot where we see Ruby rushing around and tallying people’s votes for yearbook superlatives. Ren finds out that she’s a lock for “The Big Three” -- Most Likely to Succeed, Most Intelligent, and Best Personality. Is it just me, or is Best Personality a little debatable? (No offense, Ren.) Monique asks who’s in the lead for Best Smile and Ren gets salty when she finds out it’s some random chick Kelly Kerwin. Sooo, now Ren is determined to beat Kelly for Best Smile, as if she doesn’t currently hold the title for literally everything else. Seriously, girl. Let some other people get their time to shine. Dang. 

After school, Ren lets the cat out of the bag to Steve and Eileen about Louis joining the diving team. Steve is beyond excited and tells Louis he’ll try to make it to the next meet. Clearly, Louis does not want his family to attend and witness his latest goofball stunt. 

Next, we get a time-lapse of Ren being her own personal dentist in the bathroom before school because god forbid she doesn’t win Best Smile. It then cuts to Ren having a smile showdown at school with Kelly. This is the second time in the series where we get that annoying sepia, cowboy standoff thing. This cliché never works for me, ever. This goes on for 1 minute and 14 seconds which might seem like a short amount of time, but my god does this scene crawl by. Definitely the lowest point.

Steve decides to attend Louis’ next dive meet and brings his boss, Mr. Kupchack, along with him. Oh, boy. Tugnut compliments Kupchack’s fancy blazer and he responds “Thank you. It’s the finest Italian suede” and all Tugnut can say is “.........too bad.” HAHA. Of course, Louis gets up there and does another massive cannonball, completely soaking the audience... Including Mr. Kupchack and his fancy Italian blazer. Steve is livid and rightfully so. 

Louis’ guilt is starting to sink in... 

At home that night, Steve has a serious talk with Louis. He tells him that he was incredibly proud before the meet, (hence why he brought Kupchack along) only to be disappointed yet again. Louis tries to brush off his immature decisions by saying “I’m a kid. That’s what I do. I have fun.” But, Steve poses the question “It may be fun now… But where are you gonna be 10 years from now?” This really resonates with Louis. It cuts to a dramatic shot of him looking at a crap ton of “Class Clown” trophies later that night. Uh… When did Louis get all those trophies?! Where does he keep them? They don’t really let us see lol. It seems like they have their own private display room! Do schools even give out trophies for prestigious accomplishments such as “Seventh Grade Class Clown”? That’s the real question here. Anyway. This fades into a daydream Louis has of a 10 Year Lawrence Jr. High reunion.

As a kid, I always thought 10 years was too small of a time jump. Especially because Louis imagines Tom married with two kids and another on the way. But, 2017 marked the 10 year anniversary of my own middle school graduation. Now I'm 24 and a recent college graduate. Not to mention a lot of my friends are already getting married, having kids and starting their careers of course. So… Looking back at this as an adult, it's actually pretty accurate.

I love how since Twitty is a musician, they had to give him a ponytail down to his freaking butt.

I’d also like to point out that Tawny is a fashion designer, wearing rope lights as part of her outfit, and talks about spending time in Rome. Was Disney Channel under the assumption that clothes featuring rope lights are a high fashion ~Rome~ thing? Exhibit B:

Louis’ daydream is so depressing... but I absolutely love it. He basically imagines himself as a total screwup man-child. He can’t relate to his accomplished adult friends because he never grew out of being his middle school jokester self. It’s too real. You just cringe the entire time because everyone is trying to have a mature conversation and Louis is literally incapable of doing so. One by one, they all become annoyed by Louis’ antics and make up an excuse to leave. Twitty’s the only one left in the end and asks for Louis’ email to keep in touch. We reach the final straw when Louis says: “It’s kommanderpoopypants@laughsat.net..... With a K.” OHHHH GODDDDDD IT’S SO BAAAAADDDDD. I just wanna die of embarrassment. Twitty is fed up at this point too and peaces out. Louis snaps out of the daydream and whispers “No...” to himself -- clearly deciding against a future like that. 

The moment Twitty lost all hope. 

That whole sequence is definitely the standout moment of the episode for me. Not because of how funny it is (like you might imagine a standout Even Stevens moment to be), but because of how not funny it is. It’s something we’ve never really seen on the show before. I think taking a peek into Louis’ potential pathetic future was so great. It’s almost like they expanded on what they started in Uncle Chuck. This profound moment segues back into the pointless Best Smile drama. I think it’s kinda interesting how Louis’ plot is very existential here and Ren’s is very superficial. I wonder if that was intentional or not. 

Since Ren was so desperate to win and forced herself to smile non-stop, her facial muscles end up getting stuck in a rather disturbing grin lol oops. She’s scheduled to sing the school song at the dive meet in 5 minutes. This somehow leads to Ruby giving Ren a makeover to “distract from the mouth.” She also gives Ren the brilliant advice to cut through the steam room on her way to the pool. The end result is the long lost sister of Pennywise. Ren, The Singing Clown: 

Hiya, Georgie!! (No, but really. She looks terrifying.) 

Even though he wishes Louis would take it seriously, Steve still goes to the meet to show support. Kupchack also makes another appearance because his first-grader son (Played by Hayden Panettiere’s little brother) wants to see “The Cannonball Kid!”

Louis has built up a name for himself apparently. There’s a massive crowd there to see him! I would imagine these are the same kind of people who stand right next to the log flume ride at amusement parks just to get soaked while fully clothed for whatever unimaginable reason. 

You can see that Louis is under a lot of pressure to either give in to the weirdos in the crowd and give them the cannonball they want -- or to take the first step towards seriousness and do an actual dive. In the end, his decision to do a real dive is so admirable!!! I love it so much. But, naturally, when he emerges from the pool and declares “You know what? From this day forward... Let it be known: I am not a clown” we see that he’s standing there as naked as the day he was born. 

I was going to ask why Louis is the only team member who wears trunks instead of a speedo... but I guess this is the reason why, haha. He needed to wear something flimsy so it could fly right off of him later I guess? lol. I’d also like to point out Tawny’s freaking FACE: 

Um... okay, gurl. I always thought it was weird how she (along with, like.. 50 other people) saw her future boyfriend naked in public like that.

Anyway, Louis scurries off embarrassed and that’s it! The “final minute” bit is Ren coming home from school with a copy of the yearbook already??? She won The Big Three... and the last minute honor of “Best Class Clown.” It’s like Louis and Ren swapped stories in the end. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET, REN! That’s what you get!!! This is also the second time we see Ren wanting to achieve perfection in the yearbook and having it totally blow up in her face. 

I love this episode. It was actually the one I was most excited to rewatch while I was organizing my list. Since Louis is my favorite character, this one obviously gets a lot of “personal favorite” points for me. As I mentioned, it isn't even necessarily funny. As soon as Louis does his first cannonball, I get kinda depressed actually lol. The reason I'm ranking this one higher is because I just really love the plot-line and this more serious side of Louis which is seldom seen this prominently. In contrast to Uncle Chuck though, this episode spins the depressing factor into a positive and leaves you feeling optimistic about Louis’ future. You get the sense that he’s actually going to finally make an effort moving forward.

This episode would be even more effective if they actually aired it in production order!! “The Big Splash” is #320 in production. “Model Principal” is #319 — Ya know, the episode where Louis acts like an actual clown and singlehandedly turns the entire school into a circus??? Yeah. They decided to place that episode 3 episodes after this one. If “Model Principal” aired the episode before “The Big Splash” — LIKE IT WAS MEANT TO — it would’ve been so much better. We would’ve seen the height of Louis’ ridiculousness followed by the sobering episode where he decides to knock it off. The episodes leading up to “The Big Splash” in production order are all next-level zany Louis stuff. The few episodes that follow don’t include too much over the top stuff from him, so it would all make total sense. Instead, we get a really solid episode for Louis’ character development, later followed by a total regression of that development. Curse Disney’s f’d up schedule! WHYYYY?!?!?!

Thanks for reading!!

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you all had a nice holiday. I took a break for Christmas, so yeah. I was actually so mad that the Christmas/Hanukkah episode wasn’t next on the list. It would’ve been perfect timing to review it last week. Oh, well. That episode is really good and deserves even higher than #19 ;) 

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[creativity-is-rebellion]

What the Actual Fuck?

Pardon my language, but I didn’t know how else to name this post. I’ll forewarn you, Dear Reader, that this is a rant (nevertheless a highly logical one). So I’ve seen recently (and by that I mean over the past year or so), the romanticisation of, or even outright declaration that mental illness is a “superpower” (I am mentally inserting so many facepalms here). Although I will attest that sometimes, creativity and mental illness can go hand-in-hand, as the individual sees the world differently, this is most often not the case, because the vast majority of people are not creative. And none of this “everybody is creative in their own way” bullshit. Such statements are intellectually dishonest. And even of those possessing heightened creativity who are also effected by a mental disorder, the mental disorder can cause so many disruptions to your day-to-day life as to greatly hinder your creative productivity, and “thinking positively” does not cure this. Which is why I want to address the picture below that I came across via a Facebook post and it made me want to break my phone and yell expletives at the screen. Needless to say, I unfriended the individual who posted this, because it’s stupid content like this that makes me realise that I am surrounded by idiots. I get that most people post about things off-handedly that tend to reflect their own limited reality, and it probably spoke to them in some way. But really? PTSD? Nope.

Did you read the content of the post? Ok. Good. There’s a reason I am pointing out PTSD in particular. Let’s go through the description and diagnostic factors which characterise the disorder, shall we?

PTSD (also known as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is characterised by a failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. The condition may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. Symptoms may include nightmares or flashbacks, avoidance of situations that bring back the trauma, heightened reactivity to stimuli, anxiety or depressed mood. Wow, what a fantastic thing to have, right? I bet you are wondering, where do I sign up??

Now, in addition to my Bipolar disorder, I have suffered from PTSD for too many years, and I am just starting to work through it. Now is the first time I have actually had the time to take the steps toward full recovery. With my Bipolar, it can be managed, but I know there is no cure. It’s something I have to live with every day. When I’m medicated and seeing my psychiatrist on a regular basis, I can tame the beast, but it still sleeps within a dark cave deep in my psyche. If I experience any upset to my daily life, be it a lack of sleep, a negative trigger, or too much stress, it awakens with a terrifying roar and exacts it’s vengeance upon me. 

The PTSD just makes this factor even more delicate. Sometimes I feel like I am made of glass. And the same goes for things that make me feel too “upbeat” as well. Is it just a passing happy feeling, or is it the start of a hypermanic or full-blown manic episode? Sometimes it makes it hard to trust myself, my decisions, even my own day-to-day experience. And even if there may be an optimal point to the manic high, it does not end there – the pace becomes too fast, the thought too brief, the feeling too overwhelming, and bad decisions, risk-taking, neglect of dependents and loved ones, the spending of money that often is not there, often all feature. But yeah, I’m sure after hearing all that, Kerwin Rae above would just love to have all of that *facepalm*. In social or work situations, many sufferers of mental illness generally tend shove their feelings way down in order to function in those circumstances. I know this, because this is what I have often done, and when you shove all of those feelings down frequently enough, it’s more difficult to recover, or, at least, manage your symptoms by getting the help you need. It also makes it harder and harder to function on a day-to-day basis, and can cost you even more years in therapy. When you are at your lowest, it can feel like you lose all sense of time, and when you are “back,” you are angry for the time you lost. It’s awful.

The reality is mental illness is untidy, difficult and often invisible from the outside. It is a complex state of being that can have disastrous and long-term effects on a person’s life. It shouldn’t be stigmatised, like it unfortunately has been for so many years, but the romanticisation of mental illness needs to just stahp as well. Just. Stahp. Doing so portrays mental illness portrays it like it is something cool or mysterious to have, whereas if you actually talked to someone that has been diagnosed, they would let you know that they’d give anything to be rid of it. The romanticising of mental illness also perpetuates the stereotypes that it’s the same as having a bad day, feeling a little “blue,” or feeling nervous (which tends to be misconstrued as anxiety). It also continues the myth that sufferers of mental illness could “just think differently, and they’d feel better”. 

People need to understand that it isn’t the same as just normal fluctuations toward a negative mood, such as sadness, it is something which significantly effects your daily functioning, and is not something you can just erroneously claim to have for extra credibility, and it is fucking dangerous to call it a “superpower.” Such statements can make sufferers feel inadequate for not being able to overcome it, invalidating their experience, and can potentially even lead those with Bipolar who are suffering from a manic episode, for instance, to resist getting the help they need. Furthermore, to describe any mental illness as “a superpower” ignores the costs of living with (or living with someone who has) a serious mental health condition. Therefore, those who produce or post such damaging content should think a little. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that they may have confused the normal scale of human emotions with something that is outside of those boundaries. That can happen. But if so, they should fucking educate themselves, especially those with the power of an easily-influenced audience who can spread their misinformation and cause far more damage than the average person *mic drop*. Rant over.