#yeah besties this is nOT A FUCKING DRILL ANYMORE

[katasstrophy]

RIVER HE/S HERE ⁽͑ʺ˚̀˙̪̺˚́ʺ⁾̉

JAE SKAJEHDBBDKKSJSNBE HE’S HERE HE HAS ARRIVED WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVENT STOPPED THINKING ABOUT HIM SINCE I SAW THOSE PREVIEW PICS HELLO????????????? THE LORD WILL HAVE NO MERCY ON US (AND OUR POOR COOCHIES) HERE IM AFRAID GOING INSANE TURNING RABID IM GONNA CHEW ON HIM SO SO SOOOOOOOOOO HARD

meme moodboard for the occasion:

shidou ryusei i am ur WHORE 24/7 pls call me

[crushedsweets]

Do you have and hcs of how Toby and Ben would act together? - Hoodie

YES SORT OF . u know the drill this is my au and bens story is one that i changed a lot so here we go :9

ok toby younger brother family trauma issues lonely grew up isolated etc. ben only child got killed by neighbor for absurd vr theory now inhabits a virus-ghost-form that he partially shares with several other dead kids.

toby and ben wouldnt have gotten along before ben died. only because ben was just. a 13 yr old boy addicted to video games ... those kids r mean, and toby was heavily bullied in his childhood. the ONLY reason bens not a huge dick anymore is bc his 'form' itself is fucked up (he glitches, he has an electronic vocal fry and occasional stutter from glitches, he has a weird glow to him, sickly drowned boy skin, veins look like those green code lines, red/black eyes, HE'S LITERALLY DRESSED LIKE LINK). bens not exactly insecure about any of this, but he knows damn well he cannot make fun of a tic without toby shooting back 10x harder.

which ok yeah kinda sad that ben has to look weird for him to not be mean but .. . like . . yeah. it is what it is.

they met mmm... maybe when toby was around 21? jeff would be 16, and ben wouldve been 14. SOOO toby doesnt really TRY to befriend ben. he's too old for him and has no interest in being besties w some kid. but he has a job to stop ben from tormenting people online and drawing attention to weird ghost sites and whatnot, so he started talking to all sorts of ai- cleverbot being the main, of course.

of all the proxies, tobys the only one ben likes. tobys a dick, but he has his moments where he's funny and gets distracted during a mission, so he's sat and rambled and bickered with the ai on slow nights. ben immediately knew everything about toby, because he has access to every single file on tobys computer, phone, etc.

ben SCARED THE SHIT out of toby upon their first meeting. he crawled out of tobys janky ass computer one day and toby nearly threw up from being so freaked out. yeah, he's killed people and whatever, BUT GHOSTS R FUCKING SCARY (and he has .trauma with ghosts and hallucinations of them (lyra)). ben already knew exactly who toby worked for, what toby was doing, and thought it was beyond funny. ben was the first being who already knew all the slenderman lore because he spends literally. every. second. on the internet. he is basically the internet. and he watches them, listens through their phones, watches, etc. he doesnt know the details perfectly tho cuz technology gets weird around slednerman/the operator. so toby thought that was helpful, in a sense.

so pretty quickly ben was fond of toby. thought he was like, that cool older brother of your friend. the main issue was the proxies at this time were trying to find and kill jeff because he was infected by the operator and slenderman deemed him 'too far gone.'

ben was actually the one who proposed the whole 'okay. so you want me to stop terrorizing kids online. fair. now ive noticed you keep trying to kill my friend(jeff). stop that and we can be cool :3'.

eventually they all came to some weird agreement where. ben will stop haunting people, the proxies will stop trying to kill jeff, jeff has to stop doing his 'full course' murders, and eventually, ben just likes them enough to start helping them with cctv, police files, etc. it was a complicated agreement that eventually ended in friendship, sort of?

they play video games together. eventually toby does see him as a little brother. it's kinda unsettling because the proxies realize just how much power ben has when it comes to just...... leaking everything. toby thinks that 'ok well, if ben leaks stuff about us, we leak stuff about jeff, and now he has no friends and is lonely, so he can't.' but tim and brian are legitimately freaked out at the thought of their lives being ruined anymore than they already are, so theyre pretty courteous to ben

ben will really just hang around. toby can just be eating breakfast and ben will pop up and ask whats up. he's annoying and clingy, and he can tell toby is biting his tongue half the time. . but toby is grateful sometimes. bens laid back and funny, and toby could use some laughs, so its a decent time for them both

again, overall, toby is just kinda too old for ben(although ben wouldve been a year older than toby if he was alive), but ben is really funny, he's nice to toby, he plays video games with him, he comes and checks in on him randomly. so toby appreciates having a freaky ghost little brother thing hanging around. bens one of his fave people (which is only saying so much when the other people he talks to are like . . jeff)

[bullshit-bulltrue]

☆ hawk talk 8/14/23 ☆

so i found out that my school practically treats PDA as The Big Bad Sin™️

like literally in our handbook it says it is NOT tolerated under ANY means

so like

even if i had the courage to hug my friends

i fucking can't

unless the monitors aren't paying attention but like

what if one day i'm like crying in the hallway and my bestie sees me and wants to give me a hug

but like they can't 0_0

and vice-versa

FUCK

okie. anyway.

lanie is out of town visiting family :(

BUT I STILL GOT TO EAT LUNCH WITH SOMEONE

and if you've been following along, you would know the person i ate lunch with is Delgado

✨️✨️✨️

we'll go back to that in a sec, i promise (highlight of my day)

so since it was an odd day i went to history & geo first

so we get there and we have a debate on whether school should start earlier/same time or later

and i of course backed up my reasoning with evidence unlike everyone else

they're all dumbasses

and the sleezy hoebags behind me started trying to fuck with my hair

but then i hit one of them <3

so then mr. m had us go over the fire drill and where to go in case of smth happening during his period

so we went outside and lined up where we would in case of an emergency

and then the desk buddy bitch asked for the answers to a quiz and i gave her the wrong ones <3

so then that was it for history & geo

andddd it turns out that delgado passes the math room on his way to his next period so i have to make sure i don't look like utter shit BEFORE MATH TOO

i felt bad tho bc i almost hit him 😭😭

so when i was walking towards the math room my back was turned to him so i obvi didn't know it was him when he tapped me on the shoulder

and it scared the crap outta me cus the recent school day (last friday) some dick did that to me and i hit him

and i thought it was the same guy

but it wasn't, it was delgado <3

and he just wanted to make sure we were still good for lunch and this is how the convo went:

d: *taps my shoulder* hey so lunch today, right?

me: *puts fist down after i realized it was him* yeah!

d: oh and also what do you have for first period?

me: [insert history & geo teacher's name]

d: oh cool. where you going next?

me: math with Mr. H. right here *points at door*

d: *groans* i just came back from math. that's my first fucking period 🙄

me: *laughs* ahh it's my 2nd. well, technically 3&4 but ykwim (if you need me to explain the schedules lmk)

d: Okay well i gtg

me: yeah me too, see you in like an hour or some shit *smiles and waves*

d: *smiles and waves back*

sooooo

then math

these bitches at my table

are fucking horrible

i'm trying to do a placement exam

and they keep talking

like BITCH I DID NOT MAKE IT TO AN ACCELERATED CLASS JUST FOR Y'ALL TO BE THE REASON WHY I FAILED

TAKE YOUR ASSES AND CHEAT ON THE EXAM SOMEWHERE ELSE HOES

I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT

"wElL Mr H sAiD wE CaN tAlK" "We ArEnT eVeN bEiNg LoUd"

SHUT THE FUCK UP

HE SAID WE CAN TALK ABOIT MATH AND UR LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT YO UGLY ASS FACE

so that was fun.

oh and also Mr. H (the teacher) draws so we can like give him a photo and he'll draw like the outline and give it back to us to color and then hang it up in the room!! so i'm gonna ask him if he can draw Stitch or smth so i can color it and hang it in the classroom!

yk if i remember lol

oh and like towards the end of class i went to the bathroom to fix myself up a little bit™️ bc on odd days i have

✨️english class✨️

after math <3

so i put on my favorite lipstick and tamed my hair a bit more and just made sure my clothes looked alright and shit lol

i also cleaned up my boots too while i was at it <3

i love my boots so much

i want moreee

like

actually i don't want more

i NEED more

if i had the money, i would be a doc martens addict and i'd have hundreds of pairs

but alas

bitches are expensive

*sads*

okeu anywayy

i get back to class and these hoes are still talking about the girliest shit ever i literally was going to kill myself if i had to listen to anymore of it

so then we started packing up and then we left

AND THENNNN

ENGLISH CLASS TIME

so we all lined up outside the door bc the teacher wasn't in yet (Mrs. K)

and i tried to stand next to him (delgado) but this bitch got in line RIGHT before me so she was in-between us :/

but thats alr cus he sorts slowed down in line and i caught up so we walked in the room around the same time

and i was wearing a shirt with a Mexican food place and Mrs. K was like "oh my gosh that's my favorite Mexican restaurant in [insert location]!!" and i was like "yeah its pretty good. well, for white people cooking the food. the only real Mexican food you get is from Mexico, or your mamás kitchen" and delgado looked at me like he knew lol so that's when he sorta started catching on that I'm Mexican too

it's nice not to have to tell someone about my ethnicity for once and them figuring it out on their own

so yeah <3

and we had to finish these state mandated tests bc we got only like halfway done on friday

so me and delgado were writing each other notes and doodles to help keep ourselves awake and not fall asleep during that godforsaken fucking test 😭😭

so after we got done (we finished our tests around the same time lol) Mrs. K let us kinds do our own thing as long as we weren't disruptive

so i read DPS and he was playing some game on his Chromebook

and it was so funny bc he had his chromebook on mute but you can tell when he lost and stuff bc he would make a fist and be like "noooo" really quietly

idk

it was funny to me, at least

and there was someone's alarm going off and it sounded like the beep a bomb makes before it goes off

and ofc my mind immediately went to JD <3

and then me, delgado, baseball guy, and d's short bestie all looked at each other like "you hear that 👀"

and then me and delgado crossed ourselves and said "el padre, el hijo y el espíritu santo" but he said it in english lol

and like he's so sweet

so not only did he double check we were still eating lunch together in the hallway but he also asked again at the end of english class

ik it may not seem like anything to you but it means a lot to me

bc i'm always the one to make sure plans are still plans and i feel annoying for asking so many times and that i'm bothering the other person and it just feels nice to have someone else take the time to ask, yk?

so it also turns out our lockers aren't that far away from each other's so even though he's English Class Crush™️ he also qualifies as Hallway Crush™️

speaking of hallway crushes

yk Luca? his locker and also Mikey's (Michael, but we all call him Mikey) lockers are close-ish to mine

so yeah that's great/sarc

it is, in fact, not great.

BECAUSE THAT MEANS I CANNOT RISK LOOKING LIKE SHIT IN THE MORNING

i mean i make sure i always look somewhat good before i leave the house

BUT STILL

anyway

we go to lunch and his friend Alex comes along and im like ooo cool i get to meet his friend

and i sat down and saved us some seats while they went to get the food from the lunch people

so when they come and sit down i was hoping that i would sit next to delgado bc that was the whole fucking point of eating lunch with him

but Alex sits his ass right in between us

but like ig Alex is a protective friend or smth?? idk but like yeah i didn't take offense or anything bc id be the same way

we were stil able to talk tho <3

and anyway they come and sit down and the lunch for the 14th was grilled cheese

but lemme tell you

that, was in fact, not grilled cheese

it looked like two soggy pieces of bread with orange food coloring in the middle

that cheese? was NOT cheese

and i was like oh hell nah no way is Boy Bestie™️ eating whatever the fuck that government looking waste was

so i was like dude have what you want out of my lunch, there's no way you're eating that on my watch

and i was like hey Alex you can go ahead and eat my lunch too

so Alex took the dragonfruit and smth else i think

and delgado had the tortillas mi mamá packed for me

again, i wasn't hungry at all because i had thrown up earlier but i forced myself to eat something before i passed out

oh and forgot to mention

delgado fr said "AYYY MEXICAN STYLEEE" bc i had the tortillas wrapped up in tinfoil and some chorizo con papas y huevos and i was like "HELL YEAHHH"

idk if the white people understand this or not but like this was a bonding moment for us bc there aren't a whole lot of mexicans at our school

so like to see that we're apart of the same culture is really nice

oh and he was also like "my mom makes that like every morning!" and i was like "my mom made it yesterday and decided to pack me some for lunch!"

i would've given him like a fist bump or smth but i wasn't gon put my arm across Alex to get to delgado cus like

just no

so anyway sometime in the middle of lunch i was eating my food and then

poof

woosh

*shimmery sound effects*

THEY'RE GONE

I DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHEN BUT THESE BITCHES JUST VANISHED

SO THEN I WAS LIKE NO NO NO I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE ALONE FOR THE NEXT 20 MINUTES WHYYY

but i didn't wanna move and go look for them bc not only are we not allowed to i also thought maybe they just needed to go the the bathroom

so i just sat there looking like a kicked puppy with sad eyes because i'm not fucking tall enough to look for them in the crowd of gross teenagers

so i just sit there and text my friend because when i lose my friends (and this has happened since elementary) i get really aggressive bc i get overstimed so yk i texted my friend to calm myself down

anyway

lunch over

i get my shit from my locker and head to gym

we go over where we will sit for attendance

and then we go over fire drill procedures and shit

and then we spend most of our time doing jackshit

and like the last 20 minutes of class coach was like okay you can play basketball with the boys orstand around idrc bc we only have a little but till the end of the day

so i channeled my inner white girl and just watched delgado play basketball

and like he's one of the only guys who actually knows how to fuckin play 😭😭

also this one kid got hit in the back of the head and fell straight forward and on his face like a looney tunes character

comedic gold right there

and at the end of phys ed me and delgado were walking the same direction bc our lockers are near each other's and it looks like we're gonna have lunch again on Wednesday since that's the next time i have 3rd lunch <3

so yeah i hope i was midly entertaining

it's 1:36am and i gotta get up at 6:30am so goodnight and sorry for not Finnishing this earlier, i got caught up in something

[1kook]

card swiped (2)

→ jeon jungkook x (f) reader

→ How was he, a virgin, supposed to casually take his best friend’s virginity when he was so terribly, irrevocably smitten with said best friend?  GENRE eventual smut, minor angst WARNINGS mentions of porn, mentions of sex, mentions of dicks, just jk having dumb thoughts tbh  OTHER volleyball player jk, student council pres oc, childhood friends to lovers, besties to lovers, realization of crushes, there is one (1) cheek kiss 😐 RATING m (18+) WC 1.3k

NOTES (!) i did a follow up!!! this is rlly easy bc its like. dumb. the storyline is p simple so its become therapeutic 😐 anywayyy lemme know what u think !!

[ masterlist ]

The first step to initiating sex is a kiss— right?

Jungkook doesn’t even know anymore. All the porns he’s seen start at weird points in the progression, the first kiss somewhere between when the clothing comes off and when the penis holder shoves their cock in. Did he kiss you now, or was he supposed to wait?

That is, can Jungkook even muster the balls to kiss you? 

He doesn’t know, and when he sits up in front of you, knees against yours, does he come to a new shocking realization: the two of you have never kissed. For as long as Jungkook has known you, there has never been a kiss shared between you two. Not a single experimental phase, surprise mistletoe, not even a dare. Jungkook and you have never kissed, so it only makes sense that the idea of kissing right now has him pausing before he can even try. 

“Uh,” he says, all his years of grammar classes running down the drain when you sit up perkily, a gleam of excitement in your eye. “Tomorrow,” Jungkook chokes out, hurriedly bouncing off your bed before you can even process his words. 

By the time you’ve gotten up, he’s standing at the door with his bag slung over one shoulder, foot shoved into his shoe. “You’re leaving?” you ask, and scare the living daylights out of Jungkook when you suddenly reach for the sleeve of his shirt, successfully halting his hasty departure with one gentle tug alone. 

Jungkook’s face feels like it’ll burn up at this rate, and his brain screams at him to stop being so weird. You were his best friend, for goodness sake, something like this was bound to happen at some point or another. Right? His heart thunders in his chest, and when your eyes soften for the briefest moment, warm and familiar again, Jungkook relaxes. 

“I have practice,” he says casually, tugging the strap of his bag further over his shoulder. Inside, his shoes are shuffled around with his water bottle and practice clothes. “We need more than an hour to do that kind of stuff,” he jokes, but Jungkook isn’t even sure if what he’s saying is true. When that girl had jacked him off at that party—you know, the party—he can’t remember it lasting more than fifteen minutes. To be fair, it had been the first time someone had ever touched him, so maybe it was just because of his inexperience. 

And that brings him back to the same dilemma: how on earth is he supposed to rock your world when he’s never even had sex before?

Before Jungkook can dissolve into a self-induced puddle of panic, you’re letting him go. “Okay,” you say, always so sweet and understanding. You had to be if you were the president of the whatever-council (he’s pretty sure it’s the student council). It should be Jungkook who is this composed, not you. It should be Jungkook who leans forward, presses his lips against your cheek— not you! 

But as it stands, it is you who leans forward, soft lips pressed flush against his cheek, only an inch away from his lips. Your proximity has the overwhelming scent of, well, you fanning over him; fabric softener, lotion, perfume, all of it. “Oh,” Jungkook says, sounding like a total dweeb. The departure of your lips from his skin produces a soft smooching sound, straight from the movies, and Jungkook’s heart lodges itself into his throat when you meet his gaze with a sweet smile. 

And then the door is falling shut and Jungkook is bolting down the hallway, through the campus, and into the gym. He looks and feels insane, the emptiness of the gymnasium a blatant reminder that he was in fact a little too early. Serves him right for chickening out. But a second longer in your presence and he’s almost certain he would have died from heart complications. 

It’s only when he stares out over the gymnasium floor, devoid of any human life, that the gravity of his actions truly hit him. And they hit him hard. Like a city bus skidding across an icy road towards an intersection, Jungkook is suddenly hit full force with the stark realization that he has just prepositioned his friend of nearly fifteen years for sex. While being a virgin. 

“God,” he groans, throwing his bag against the nearest wall. It hits it with a dull thud, sliding down to the floor sadly. Jungkook follows. 

It would be nice to have some common sense every once in a while, to actually use the brain lodged up in his head. Why on earth had he thought offering himself up for sex to you, of all people, would be something easy? Sure, Jungkook as a virgin had some expectations of what sex would be like; deep down inside, he’s always known it won’t be exactly like in porn, there would be some disappointing things and some absolutely amazing things. But those were his own expectations to bear, the end results something that personally wouldn’t weigh down on him too much. 

But now… now Jungkook will have to come face to face with your expectations, that of which he absolutely can’t let down. What if you think his dick is small? What if cums too soon? What if you can’t get turned on by him? What if, at the end of it all, you don’t want to be Jungkook’s friend anymore?

The last thought has him sullenly sinking down further against the wall, chin pressed to his chest, as he mulls over any potential options. It would be weird (at least in Jungkook’s mind) to call it off now, especially after seeing how excited you’d gotten. As your best friend, Jungkook lived by an unspoken, strict code of conduct, that of which dictated that promises between best friends were not meant to be broken. It was the highest offense. 

But how was Jungkook supposed to rock your virgin world if he was a virgin? 

Faintly, he can still feel your puckered lips pressed against his cheek, and he mindlessly raises a hand up to brush his fingers against the skin. It makes him blush, remembering that sweet gaze you’d looked at him with. It’s the same one you used to give him when you were younger, the slightly proud, really content gaze whenever he did his homework before coming over, when he won a game against your rival middle school, when he first walked into a Victoria’s Secret with you when you were both sixteen. “You’re doing amazing, Koo,” you always teased and giggled, the sound gradually mellowing out over the years. 

Just a couple weeks ago he remembers hearing the sound from the bottom of a ladder, dragged into decorating the student center with you for the new school year straight out of practice. He had been tired, so absolutely drained from the drills that day, but it was impossible to say no when you had caught him across the student center, eyes lighting up at the mere sight of Jungkook’s sweaty form. 

“I’m running for student president this year,” you had told him (so it was the student council), the tall windows that lined the building’s walls allowing a ray of sunlight to settle down over you. It had made Jungkook halt for a second, heartbeat skipping one dangerous beat when you descended down, placed a hand on his shoulder the closer you got. “Vote for me, please?” 

“Yeah,” he had breathed, felt like the entire world was too small to fit the growing feeling in his chest. 

And it’s with that memory that Jungkook reaches his third and final realization of the afternoon, an accumulation of all the prior ones: how was he, a virgin, supposed to casually take his best friend’s virginity when he was so terribly, irrevocably smitten with said best friend? 

“Oh… fuck,” he groans, slumping down until he’s practically sprawled over the floor, startling Namjoon and Jimin as they enter the gymnasium. Jimin scolds him for scaring them, but Jungkook is so deep in his wallowing that he barely hears. 

He was in trouble.

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part II

© sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!Hyunjin x fem!model!reader, model!bestfriend!Felix, barista!Seungmin, agedup!straykids, fluff, character driven story, stranger to lovers, summer!au, mentions of death/passing away, mentions of injury, slight angst, mentions of self doubt, mentions of bad economy. 

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 4.6 k 

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: lmao if anyone is wondering why the cafe is open at night; it actually exists! most commonly found in korea but hey this fic doesnt have a set place so just imagine that it’s a cafe that works 24/7 ALRIGHTY? 

If you have any feedback I’m more than happy to receive it! <3

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

“What do you think this means? Why does he want to contact me?”

You anxiously paced around the living room, Felix sitting on the small grey sofa, his soft brown eyes going from left to right, following your distressed figure.

“Maybe he just wanted to talk to you directly, make it feel more personal you know?”

Felix sounded unsure of his own answer as he tilted his head questioningly, his gaze still glued on you.

“But why does he want to know me personally? Does he do this with every model?” You bit your lip as you thought, stopping hastly before running to the kitchen and grabbing the water bottle from the day of the photoshoot. 

“y/n! What are you even...” Felix abruptly halted his sentence before widening his eyes at your intentions.

“Surely you’re not actually gonna call him?” he asked in surprise.

“I should at least find out what his motive is! I can’t just ignore the poor boy can I?” you held the water bottle tightly in your hand, removing the plastic wrapper with the number scribbled on and observed his delicate handwriting.

“He seems...strange, to say the least. He rarely talks to people during events and is only ever interested in anything that involves his work.” 

Felix knew since he himself was a model. The two of you met during a casting in the earlier years of your career, both being youthful teenagers with dreams and slightly puffy cheeks, babyfat that eventually got away and revealed your hidden features. The day of the casting Felix injured his foot causing him to fall when walking in front of the hawk-eyed judges. Your heart ached when you saw his desperate figure on the cold floor, he was just like everyone else in that frigid casting room, just a youngster with a dream. You passed the audition, smiling as you accepted a blue clipboard with papers from the judges, feeling everyone’s eyes drilling into your back with jealousy. Moments later, after night had fallen over the big city, you found Felix hunched over a small step of stairs meant for the fire escape. 

“H-hey,,,uhm, are you fine?”

You hestitated speaking to the quivering boy, his hands covering his face as tears dripped of his chin. 

“W-what do you care?!” he spat towards you, his attitude making you want to leave but you felt to guilty to do that, after all he was simply upset and not actually mad. 

You inched closer to his cowered body and sat down next to him on the hard stone steps. You looked at him in guilt. You had passed the audition but how were you any better than him? Softly, you put your hand on his shoulder, patting it a couple of times and letting the dark haired boy cry out, his sobs echoing in the dark stairway. He leaned into your touch and you ended up hugging him in silence for what seemed like hours. 

Times change and here he is. Signed to a highly respectable agency and catching flights left to right. Nothing more made you prouder than knowing that he didn’t give up on his dream.

“Felix! He’s not strange... maybe he’s just shy?” you tried to defend Hyunjin but realised how defensive you got over somebody you barely knew.

“Shy? In this line of work?” he furrowed his eyebrows, glancing at the white wrapper in your hands. “I’m not sure...what if he’s interested in you in that way?”

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest upon hearing Felix’s words. 

“You mean r-romantically?” you cleared your throat, feeling butterflies in the depths of your stomach. 

“Well...that will never happen, don’t wanna ruin your career, right y/n?”

Your gaze fell onto the white wrapper in your hand as your heart started beating faster. 

“R-right y/n?” He coughed as you grabbed your phone and started typing in the digits, glancing over at the wrapper and pressing accordingly. 

“Y/n, are you crazy? What if he actually has romatic interests in you? That could ruin both of your careers especially since he’s a world famous photographer that has every girl wrapped around his finger because of his looks.” Felix spoke bitterly, looking at your phone screen and then back at you with heightened eyebrows. 

“I’ll guess I’ll have to find out, Felix” 

“Ok but do that after I leave, I don’t want to hear you talk about him anymore and also be careful. You never know whats brewing on the inside in people like him” he said while rolling his eyes.

“What you wanna eat then bestie?” you laughed as you threw your phone onto the couch and made your way to the pantry. 

♡ 

Hours later Felix was waveing at your from the other of the door, you waved back at the freckled boy, smiling at him. 

“Be careful with that dude!” he yelled as he walked down to the flight of stairs, his voice echoing in the old apartment complex. 

“I will, mom!” you laughed at his cute consideration before shutting the heavy door. 

Silence broke out once the door shut, leaving you alone in the apartment yet again. You dragged your feet on the light laminated floor, making your way to the couch where your phone was buried underneath a multitude of pillows. 

“Where did I put that number”. You searched for it, finding your phone and the wrapper wedged between two seat cushions. Sitting down, you landed with a thump on the soft couch, the blue light from your phone emitting onto your face as you typed in the number yet again. A big lump was situated in your throat, your hands shaking as you sent a message to the number. 

[y/n] Hi! It’s y/n, it was a pleasure working with you. 

You stared at the message you sent before cursing to yourself. 

“Why the fuck did I write that? He’s gonna think that I’m some sort of weirdo, can I ever do anything ri-”

A pling from your phone erupted in the living room, catching you off guard. It’s probably not him, why would he reply so fast?

You were wrong, it was him.

[Hyunjin] Hello! It’s Hyunjin, hope you weren’t too surprised at me leaving my number. I’m just happy that you decided to reply. 

You gulped as you typed. It didn’t seem like he’d ever done something like this before. 

[y/n] No, not at all! Did the pictures turn out well?

[Hyunjin] Oh, you haven’t seen them? 

[y/n] My manager usually shows them on the date of the release...

[Hyunjin] How about this, we meet up and I’ll show you the pictures beforehand. We’ll keep it a secret from your company. 

M-meet up? This soon? A million thoughts passed through your mind in an instant, your mind zoning out while your eyes were glued on the well-lit screen that displayed the messages. You were curious about the photos but also about him. Wanting to know more about the blond boy and his abrupt ways you replied back, fingers shaking while moving over the keyboard.

[y/n] Sure, when and where?

You didn’t have any work to do anyways so why not solve the mystery called Hwang Hyunjin?

[Hyunjin] 2 PM, tomorrow

An adress was attached to the message which led to cafe you used to work at, not to far from your place. You placed your phone beside you and looked up at the white ceiling, sighing heavily. Maybe Felix was right, it’s strange to meet someone you’ve only met once, especially since he’s met countless of models just like you if not even better. The thoughts consumed too much of your energy and you ended up falling asleep on the couch, chest heaving peacefully. 

♡ 

The sudden vibration of your phone woke you up, the sun shining through the window as you grabbed your phone, light straining your eyes. 

[Felix] I’m 100% sure that you messaged that dude, right?

You laughed before typing through squinting eyes, laying down on your back.

[y/n] What if I did? 

[Felix] You’re insane 

[y/n] That’s my charm, Lixie~

Putting the phone away you slowly sat up, looking around the sunlit living room as if you’d never seen it before. Rubbing your weary eyes, you yawned before thinking ‘breakfast!’

Without even taking one step to the kitchen your phone vibrated once again. You lifted your eyebrow at the signal but ignored it for the time being, thinking that’s it’s Felix pestering you about your desicion to talk to Hyunjin. After you made a bowl of porridge and quickly washed up in the bathroom you grabbed the phone, wanting to scroll through your socials but what you saw on your home screen made the spoon of porridge that was on it’s way towards your mouth stop.

[Hyunjin] Slept well?

You’ve met him once and he’s already asking such a question? But something made you believe that this isn’t how he normally is. He’s hiding a type of shyness underneath those bold messages and actions. This Hyunjin isn’t the one that you’ve been described, this is a different Hyunjin. 

Your mind was blank. What do you even reply to that? In search for answers you texted Felix, knowing he wouldn’t give you a good answer but at least some emotional support. 

[y/n] Lixie, what does one reply to the question “Slept well?”

[Felix] You don’t, you pack up your things and you leave.

[y/n] You dickhead

[Felix] That’s my charm y/n~

If you could punch someone through the screen you would punch Felix. Returning back to the message that Hyunjin sent you, you quickly typed something down and sent it. 

[y/n] Yeah, fine! Everything well with you?

[Hyunjin] Yes, it’s fine. See you later then, y/n

The porridge infront of you had cooled down, now being a sloppy mess of oats with a spoon slowly sinking into the substance. You stared at the message before your gaze returned to the breakfast bowl. This wasn’t going to be an easy day. 

♡ 

The clock ticked as your stomach was filling up with butterflies, one by one. 

“This is a casual meeting not a date, y/n” you mumbled as you tapped your foot, standing infront of the multiple racks of clothing in your slightly stuffy walk-in closet. You rarely wore even half of the clothes. Most of the pieces were sent by companies or given to you after photoshoots, this being both a blessing and a curse. 

Your hand gravitated towards a white blouse with puffy sleeves because it reminded you of him. You shook your head wanting to get the thought out of your head. You hated that you cared so much about him but at the same time you knew why. Because he ignited a feeling of longing. A feeling called love. 

Snatching the blouse from it’s hanger you digged through your drawers and fished up a pair of beige colored wide pants. You glanced at the brown watch on your wrist as you stepped into the pants, pulling off your pyjama top in one swift motion before putting on the flowy blouse. You looked in the mirror, combing through your hair with your fingers and reaching for a pair of pearl earrings that rested in a small tray infront of the mirror. Turning around, you observed the shelf that displayed the dozens of shoes in your possession, all while tilting your head and putting on the small pearls. Varnished heels would be good, right? Stretching out your arm to grab the heels, your gaze feel on your watch. As usual, you were going to be late and you hoped with every bit of your mind that Hyunjin wouldn’t find you rude. With the heels on you grabbed your purse, throwing in your keys that were decorated with keychains off all shapes and sizes as you staggered out the door. 

The breeze hit your face as you made your way down the street, the heels clicked against the broad stone sidewalk making both women and men turn their heads. Lucky for you, Hyunjin chose the cafe where you happened to know somebody working at. 

That somebody being your friend Seungmin. 

You see, when you were just starting your career money was an issue. Your family wasn’t well off and when you set out to find your calling in the big city without a stable job your family was worried to say the least. You moved into a small apartment that more looked like a mouse burrow than an apartment. Holding a bag of trash you went down to the lobby of the apartment complex, the trashcan reeking as you lifted the lid and quickly threw in the bag, bending your spine backwards with a disgusted look on your face. Walking back you accidentally knocked down a paper that was resting on a corkboard by just how fast you walked passed. The light yellow paper landed infront of your feet, halting your movements. You picked it up.

« Searching for barista assistent »

The pay wasn’t too bad and neither were the working hours and so you folded the paper and went back into the apartment, smiling as you thought that this was the moment when everything changed. 

And it did. Seungmin became one of your first friends in the city, right after Felix came into your life. You have very fond memories of that cafe. Working late nights with Seungmin, drinking coffee to stay awake through the late hours. 

“What’s your dream, y/n?” Seungmin asked on one of the first days, still not knowing who you were and what your goals in this big city was.

“I-i want to become a model” you muttered underneath your breath, scared that he was going to belittle you and crush your dreams into nothing but fine powder.

“I believe in you, y/n” he said in a low voice, wiping the counter, not making eye contact as you stood on the other side. 

Silence overtook the empty cafe, the low humming of cars on the road being the only noise that was heard before you cleared your throat, looking down at your shoes and leaning against the counter.

“Thank you Seungmin, that means a lot” you said before the silence took over again. 

You swore you could’ve cried right then and there. Hearing those words when being in such a vulnerable situation really did mean a lot to you. His words stuck with you and in every interview where the interviewer asked about what you want to tell to aspiring models you always said those words. “I believe in you.”

The neon pink open sign in the window was brightly lit, the silhouette of people sipping on their lattes and chatting could be seen from the outside of the reminiscent building that was covered in hops. You stepped in, your heels making a loud clicking noise on the dark walnut colored wood flooring.

“How can I hel- y/n!!” Seungmin looked up at you, standing infront of the espresso machine as steam was billowing out. The other co-workers gave you a glance before returning to their tasks. 

“y/n! I haven’t seen you in so long, how are you?” he asked, you had contact on the phone but didn’t meet each other too much due to different schedules. 

“Minnie! I’ve missed you!” you squealed out as he walked through the low wooden gate that seperated the working area from the rest of the cafe. Seungmin pulled you into a hug, warmness emitting onto you as your bodies touched. 

“I’ve been good!” you continue, smiling as you pulled away from the hug seeing Seungmins waist defined by the strings of the apron wrapping around him, a kitchen towel hanging from his shoulder. 

“But I have to tell you something, Seungmin” you say quietly making the dark haired boy tilt his head in question. 

“I’m meeting Hwang Hyunjin here in about 5″ you say with a smirk, knowing Seungmin would be jealous.

“Wait,,, the Hwang Hyunjin?!” he said a bit too loudly, alerting the customers before he turned to them with a embarrassed smile, bowing his head in an apology. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“He was the one that suggested it, I couldn’t help it” you answered to which Seungmin’s eyes widened.

“H-he knows about this place?” He was stunned as he looked into your warm eyes.

“Yeah? Such a coincidence right? I was sur-” Your sentence was cut short as Seungmin’s breath hitched and a cold breeze hit your back. You turned back and there he was. 

Hyunjin. 

His presence shined in the relativly small rustic cafe. A white t-shirt and black slacks decorated his well toned body, a long leather coat draping over his shoulders as his black boots shined perfectly. Multiple silver chains hanged around his neck and the rings from last time were boldly placed on his lanky fingers. The blonde boy is tightly gripping what looks to be brown leather computer clutch. 

He waved awkwardly and you smiled sweetly his way, playfully hitting Seungmin whose mouth was wide open, looking at the dashing boy. Hyunjin walked over to you, the other guests staring and some of them already picking up their phones to capture this moment. He looked oddly stiff, mannerisms totally different from how you saw him last. 

“Hi Hyunjin! uhm,,, this is my friend Seungmin, he works here.” you said, trying to initiate a conversation but only earning a wide eyed expression from Seungmin before Hyunjin spoke. 

“Nice to meet you!” he smiled, his eyes forming into half-moons.

Seungmin snapped back to reality before bowing slightly, his eyes twinkling and his ruffled hair landing infront of his deep brown eyes.

“It’s an honor to meet you, mr Hwang” 

Hyunjin chuckles slightly at his cute gesture.

“Your cafe seemed charming” was the only thing he could response before looking at you and blushing. 

“2 americanos, Minnie” you said, momentarily glancing at Hyunjin before staring down at your heels. 

“It’s on me” Seungmin leaned in to whisper in your ear to which you giggled and looked at Hyunjin’s confused expression. You pointed at a table in the corner of the cafe with your chin, signaling to sit down.

As you walked over to the cedar table you couldn’t help but to wonder about his duality. He seemed so comfortale last time, talking to you with no problem and being as bold as to leave his number but now he seemed like a young school boy that wanted to ask his crush out. You started to understand what Felix meant by “people like him”. 

You sat down on one of the wooden chairs with steel details, the only thing seperating you from Hyunjin being the light ash table. He pulls out his computer, clicking away as you observe his perfect features. His concentrated eyes were fierce but had a soft gaze, his plush pink lips being soft, perfect for kissing you thought as your eyes drifted to his adams apple that bobbed everytime he swallowed.

Before Hyunjin could show you his screen Seungmin came over, shyly placing the drinks on the table and striking his sweet smile your way to which you laughed inaudibly until he went back behind the counter, observing the action from afar. 

Hyunjin cleared his throath nervously as he turned his computer to show you the colorful photos, looking at your judging gaze in reassurance as he sipped on his americano. 

You were amazed. The photoshoot seemed simple when you modelled but no one could have ever guessed that by just looking at the photo. It had a touch of charisma. The angles, the lighting and the editing made this originally plain photo look dimentional while still having a youthful touch with the pastels.

“W-what do you think?” He said, looking at the screen as his ring finger flicked through the pictures, pressing on the right arrow key on the keyboard. 

“It’s amazing, no wonder you’re so famous” you said while grabbing your americano without lifting your gaze from the enticing photos. Heat rose to Hyunjin’s cheeks upon hearing your words. Sure, he’d heard it before but not from you. Not in that cute, geniune voice that ringed through his ears like music. 

“Thank you y/n” he said, his gaze drifting over to you. He was stunned from how beautiful you looked in the cozy ambiance of the cafe. A wall plant descended down behind you as your eyes twinkled when you caught eye contact with the blond boy. Everything he wanted to do right now was to capture your beauty, make this moment last forever. 

“Earth to Hyunjin” you said, giggling as his gaze froze on you, feeling your heated cheeks get even hotter. 

“Uhm,,, s-sorry, wanna get some sneak peaks from other photoshoots?”

You nodded excitingly, feeling special but also questioning why he treated you so specially. He was shy, theres no doubt about that but it almost seems like he trusts you. You move your chair closer to him, wanting to see the screen properly before you notice Hyunjin shifting awkwardly in his seat, not used to being this close to you. 

“H-here are some I took last week, another one of mr Styliz many projects” he smiled timidly before taking another sip of his beverage. 

Once again you were amazed by his talent but what caught your attention even more was how undressed the female model was, her curvy body being covered by nothing more than a short glittery dress with a plunging neckline, displaying her cleavage. In her hands there was a delicate red bottle, decorated with art deco lines.

“What was the concept?” you asked, curious of this sensual vibe that emitted from this photo. 

“Something along the lines of elegancy. It’s for Aurora Perfumes”

He namedropped the famous brand in the most colloquial fashion, seemingly an everyday occurence for him. 

“Y-you worked for Aurora? That’s,,, wow” you were speechless as Hyunjin quietly giggled at your reacting, waveing his hand in the air in disagreement.

“I don’t like to b-brag about my career so hopefully I don’t come across that way” he said, almost worryingly. 

“No! Not all, it’s really impressive, your entire career is.”

Your sweet voice made his heart flutter, never before had he heard compliments sound this pleasant. 

“Why did you become a photographer?” you asked, your curiosity bubbling over as he looked at you with his penetrating brown eyes. The mood suddenly got cold. Hyunjin took a deep breath, exhaling loudly from his nose as you sipped on your coffee. 

“I’m an only child and therefore I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was younger.” 

You knew this was going to be a sad story, you bit the inside of your cheek, regretting asking that question as you thought that it might be too personal but judging from how Hyunjin’s words spilled from his mouth you believed that he felt comfort telling you.

“They had photoalbums stacked up in their attic which I flipped through for hours, observing their youth and innocence and seeing how time fled by. When I got my first camera I was overjoyed, taking pictures of everything around me and putting them up on my wall, acting as if my room was an art gallery.”

He smiled when talking, his voice turning mellow as he reminisced. 

“But when my grandparents passed away,,, I noticed that I didn’t have any photos of them nor of my friends or family which made me feel disappointed. I had spent so much of my time trying to capture beauty when beauty was infront me.”

Shivers ran down your spine as his sugared voice ran through the words. Hyunjin looked nervously down on the table and you did the same, not knowing what to say or how to comfort the blond boy. 

“I-I’m sorry for your loss” 

That was the only sentence you could muster to say but Hyunjin glanced at you, his dimples appearing as he smiled. 

“Why are you sorry? No one usually asks me that question so it feels nice to get it off my chest.”

You nodded shyly as silence erupted in between the two of you. 

“It really was a pleasure working with you y/n, I would like to have you modell for me again” he blurts out, trying to put an end to the painful silence.

“Y-you what? B-but my manager hasn’t told me anything ab-”

“No, just the two of us.”

You went quiet, not believing your ears. A photoshoot, the two of you? Isn’t that practically a confession? Your dazed mind seemed to wander off to places far off, imagining the tension that would be looming over the both of you. Felix sure as hell wasn’t going to like this but you didn’t care. Hyunjin seemed comfortable with you, talking as if he’d known you for years and now he was asking you to modell for him? Saying no to this opportunity would be a crime.

“S-sure, when were you thinking?”

“You free tomorrow?” Hyunjin says, leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs comfortably, looking up at you through a curtain of blonde. 

“Yeah,,, sounds great!”

A smile crept up on your face as heat rose to your cheeks, feeling everything and nothing all at once. In this moment you didn’t care about the shutter coming from the guests phone cameras. You just cared about him. 

The next half an hour went by in a blur. In that short time you probably covered half of the conversational topics on this earth. Hyunjin laughed as you told him about your childhood.

“That’s so cute y/n”

“Well it wasn’t cute in the moment but now I can laugh at it” you laughed with him, stroking a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

“I think you’re cute y/n” 

“Of course I was cute when I was little” you roll your eyes at him, tears prickling in your eyes from laughter but when you glanced at Hyunjin he wasn’t laughing, he was simply observing you. 

“I think you’re cute now” 

You froze. All these things he’s saying made your heart beat faster than ever, a nervosity that couldn’t be described with words.

“You too” you exclaimed without thinking to which Hyunjin glanced at you with a grin. He coughed before streching his arms.

“Time to head home?” He said, packing up his computer. 

“Yeah, I have something to do” you said looking at your watch, knowing very well that you had absolutely nothing to do for the rest of the day except for anxiously thinking out every potential scenario that could occur tomorrow.

“Meet me at my studio tomorrow at 5 pm”

You nodded carefully, knowing exactly where his famous studio was.

“Don’t tell Bangchan I showed you the photos” he laughed mischievously, looking a bit like a ferret. 

“Alright, alright I won’t even though I really want to tell him how good of a photographer you are” you said cheekily as you stood up. The both of you headed towards the wooden door with glass panes, flashing a wink towards Seungmin that had his eyebrows heightened, amazed from how the little cafe lit up with two attractive people walking side by side. 

Outside the sun beamed, the bustling of the city and high skyscrapers stimulating your senses. 

“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow Hyunjin”

You scratch the back of your neck nervously as you speak before remembering something.

“Oh! Do you have a concept in mind?”

“Wear whatever, I’ll think of a way around it” he said. 

“Mhm! See you tomorrow!”

“Text me when you’re home, ok?” 

That sentence made your heart flutter and before you could embarrass yourself by saying anything stupid he waved, his rings shining in the sunlight. Turning around, you promptly started walking back home.

Your heart thumping, your thoughs scattered, your mind dazed. 

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo​ @fleeingreality @nycol-ie​ @jisungsplatforms @p0t4t0don14ll

[it9chi]

Hiii I don’t know if your taking request and if your not it’s fine you can totally ignore this lol :P but if you are can you do the trend of the pretty best friends with maybe Akaashi, Bokuto, and kuroo 🙈 by the way I loved the way you write the characters

how they blind react to the audio “i ain’t never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly” from tiktok + find the first part here

kuroo:

man doing this to kuroo would be so funny

cs we know he lowkey prideful

so this would “”potentially”” hurt his ego

at least when it comes to you

cs this bitch hates losing to you no matter what

like he’s not like this to kenma usually

and u tell him its bc kenma is his favorite bestie

then he’s all like: noo ahaha who said i like kenma more than u? ahah who sed that cut the cameras

then proceeds to baby and pamper kenma right in front u

smh kuroo we were friends first 

ANYWAY SO

just like oikawa, he likes inviting himself to your tiktoks, selfies, etc u know the drill

so roping him in your tiktok would be easy breezy

you set up ur camera and pretend you were getting ready to dance to that fishing pole reel it in tiktok

(also prior to this u told him abt wanting to do that tiktok w him)

and just like you predicted it, kuroo is now magically next to you smirking and shit at the camera

pulling a debby ryan yes king pop off

then the audio plays: “i aint never seen two pretty best friends. always one of them gotta be ugly”

KUROO NEVER LOOKED SO OFFENDED IN HIS LIFE

kuroo goes :O like you did something so scandalous in front of him

even if the camera didnt hear his voice, its still kinda obvious that he said “chibi chan~”

now its ur turn to gasp

mf smirks at your reaction and picks you up like a sack of potatoes and throws you over his shoulder

all of that caught in camera

and right when he was gonna throw you on the bed the camera stops recording

y’all blow up overnight ;)))

the comments: “they gotta be more than friends!!”

“sis i’ll be his best friend if u don’t want to be his bestie anymore”

kodzuken: so y’all a thing now or-

bonus: what actually happened is kuroo tickled u and showed no mercy nor remorse </33

bokuto:

ahh yes bokuto

bokuto beam besties !!!!!

ft. a very very tired akaashi

you pull this shit to mess with the team

perks being the other fukurodani manager

(this is why konoha lowkey hates u but its okay queen u lowkey hate him too (as a joke)) 

ANYWAYS

so managers have to settle things right before practice starts right

after helping yukie and kaori, y’all had extra time

this is when u call bokuto in 

“bokuto lets film a tiktok real quick!” you call out to ur bestie who was with akaashi and konoha

bokuto immediately dips on them and runs to you

“what are we dancing to today?”

we know this bitch can dance lets not lie to ourselves rn

u tell him u want to do that hit the quan remix trend on tiktok and he agrees

mf even knows the step already so uh anywayz

this is the part where brokuto gets bamboozled

you click record and bokuto starts rubbing his hands together like hes about to throw that ass back and start dancing religiously

til the audio plays

“i aint never seen two pretty best friends always one of them gotta be ugly”

so that played throughout the gym

konoha and akaashi stop talking and turned their attention to you and bokuto

the realization settles in and bokuto frowns

and everyone in the gym thinks his emo mode is about to work up and they’re all about to run to him 

before bokuto lets out a big cackle

“you’re so funny sometimes, y/n” bokuto wipes a tear from his eyes from laughing so much  

bokuto suddenly goes quiet til mf starts chasing you around the gym

“BOKUTO IM SORRY” you screeched as you ran for your life

“nOPE! IF I CATCH YOU IT MEANS YOURE THE UGLY BEST FRIEND” he retorts, catching up on you

in the end the video caught u guys running around the gym

konoha took this as a chance to repost your video with the caption “what a dumbass” 

akaashi:

akaashi and this tiktok huh.....

do u know who u’re doing this to ??????

like akaashi???

akaashi keiji ?????????????????????????????????

this audio and akaashi just dont get along at all... like ... UGLY??? 

all in all im p sure this thing would backfire 

and im not even joking luv xoxo

ANYWAY SO

you do this at home bc ... u dont want to embarauz urself doing this at school cs what if someone saw u calling THE akaashi ugly 

so yeah u have this thing w akaashi where y’all just chill at ur respective homes for no reason at all

#bestietingz

and since akaashi is a genuinely nice guy and is a rlly rlly close friend of urs, he wont say no to ur vague requests <3

“keiji let’s do a tiktok together” you shake his arm as the mf reads a fucking book

“hmm okay” he hums, putting the book down

not forgetting to bookmark the page ! bookmark king ! knows his shit ok im getting sidetracked

you set ur phone down and angle it right

akaashi just does the bread face :] respecting ur viewers!

even if ur viewers r just the fukorodani team at best... maybe even some nekoma students bUT THATS NOT THE POINT HERE

ur trying so hard not to laugh and its so painfully obvious ur hiding something like akaashi is alr dreading cs he doesnt know what ur planning

so u press record and the audio rolls in

“i aint never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly”

it turns to an awkward silence after that

cs akaashi didnt rlly know how to react

like he knows this shit is corny and just..... he cant even describe it oh god

and ur like looking at him for a reaction

hes just there like: :] ......

LIKE YOU TWO R ALREADY MAKING EYE CONTACT

AND UR LIKE COVERING UR MOUTH TRYING NOT TO LAUGH UR LIKE

“DO U GET IT??”

and akaashi is like: “yes i do :]” 

AND UR LIKE: THEN WHATS UP WITH THIS REACTION

then he’s all like: “nothing. i know you’re not ugly and u shouldn’t let that meme define who you are because you are beautiful”

like a mf poet making ur heart melt 

u put a closed caption thingie mabober before u post it cs u wanted to let ppl know who or how tf ur bestie acts and damn right hes right !!! ur not ugly neither is he !!!

the comments when u posted it are all asking for his contact information and the just like

“SIS I WANT HIM”

“WHATS HIS @??”

even bokuto commented like: THATS MY AKAASHI RIGHT THERE !!!!

and kuroo responds with: u cant win over him bro

and then bokuto replies again with: DUDE

[telli1206]

You’re So Fine, You Blow My Mind (Part 2)

Tourney player Jay is smitten with the new cheerleader, and Evie and Mal help get them together.

Click here for Part 1: Jay

Part 2: Mal

Evil, there’s so much about tourney that Mal just can’t stand.

First off, the uniforms? They make sense to wear during games, kind of, but could they look anymore pansy-ish? Shiny blue and gold jerseys and shorts in silky soft materials? Not her idea of threatening or intimidating. These Auradonians make everything look so overdressed and...fancy.

And the games? With people watching and chanting stupid rhymes about defense and winning, with their faces painted blue and gold? It’s embarassing that anyone would want to act like that, especially to cheer on a fight over a ball. It would actually be similar to watching fights break out on the isle, if people here weren’t so weird about dressing up and singing for it.

For those reasons, and a few more, it took A LOT of convincing from Jay to get Mal to try out for tourney. But he won her over, of course. Jay always knew how to get through to Mal. 

Not that she’d ever admit to that.

But at the end of the day, how could she turn down the opportunity to take her aggression out on a few Auradonian boys on the tourney field? 

Especially Chad. Damn, Jay really knew her weaknesses.

But she’s a good friend too, so she’s VERY familiar with Jay’s weaknesses. And right now, his biggest weakness is ruining her practice and annoying the hell out of her.

She’s referring, of course, to the brain in his pants.

And that brain has completely taken over Jay today. Just one look at the new cheerleader boy, and her new best friend and teammate has been reduced to a clumsy, awkward, stuttering mess. Drills were a disaster, every play they ran was a complete failure, and Mal’s limping off the field now that Jay managed to trip her and knock them both into the ground during laps. 

She hisses quietly as she brushes the dirt off the scrape on her knee, scowling at Jay, who simply shrugs at her and jogs towards the locker rooms, stumbling again on the way when he catches another glimpse of the freckled cheerleader in his peripheral vision.

Ok, fuck this shit. Mal’s fixing the problem, RIGHT NOW.

“Babe!” She calls to Evie as she waves, sprinting over to the pretty bluenette cheerleader.

Evie turns with a bright smile, already leaning forward to meet her girlfriend in a sweet kiss.

“You were fantastic out there today, Mals. The star of practice,” she raves, giving her a wink.

Mal loses her train of thought for a second, smiling and blushing furiously at the compliment.

“Thanks, Eves. I thought it went well today.” Her face turns serious as she remembers her problem. “For me at least. I don’t know if you saw, but someone had a really off day today.”

Evie purses her lips with a slight nod. “Jay? The poor guy, he couldn’t catch a break today. I guess everyone has a day that goes all wrong, right?”

“Sure, that can happen,” Mal surmises with a tilt of her head. “But in this case, it wasn’t just a bad day. Jay’s, problem, has a face. A pretty one.”

Evie giggles, shaking her head. “Of course. When doesn’t it? Who’s the goof all twitterpated for now?”

Mal spins on her heel, crossing her arms as she eyes the boy, now chatting with Jane, arms gesturing wildly in a passionate discussion. She hears words like ‘cosine’ and ‘tangent’ and has to chuckle. Her bestie’s fallen for a hot little nerd.

“Your new guy over there has my best friend tripping over his own feet. We need to do him a favor and introduce them. I don’t think he’ll manage this time without us. The guy’s a little hopeless right now.”

Evie’s eyes light up when she sees who Mal’s talking about. “You mean Carlos?!” She squeals and jumps happily, clapping her hands. “He’s ADORABLE, and the sweetest thing! Oh, he’s perfect for Jay!”

Mal smirks and drops her hands to her hips. Her girlfriend will forever love playing matchmaker.

“Good, but we’ll need to be there to help loverboy. I have a feeling this won’t go smoothly without us. But don’t worry, I have a plan,” Mal adds with a calculated grin.

-----

“So, why do you want to eat lunch in the courtyard today? I thought you liked the middle garden cause it’s less crowded.” Jay follows Mal, grabbing an apple on  their way out of the cafeteria with their trays.

“What, is it so wrong to want a change of scenery one day? I’m not a creature of habit, Jay. I can be spontaneous.”

“Ok,” He chuckles, shining the apple against his vest. “Except you can’t.”

Mal glares at him but keeps walking. 

“Evie’s already saved us a table,” she adds as they turn the corner. She smiles when she spots the girl at the table right in front of them. “And” She nods her head, gesturing for Jay to look. “She brought a friend to join us.”

Jay’s about to take a bite out of the apple, but freezes when he looks up ahead. Evie’s at the table with...his freckled cheerleader boy. He stands there, mouth agape, refusing to move.

Mal rolls her eyes and grabs at his arm, pulling him along. He finally stumbles into step with her up to the table.

Evie and the boy both look up, smiling. Mal smiles back and drops herself in the seat across from Evie, leaving Jay in front of his crush. He quirks a smile and slowly plops himself down, catching himself when he almost drops the apple in his hand. He swings back up quickly with an awkward chuckle.

“Mal! Jay!” Evie sings sweetly. She reaches for the boy’s hand on the table and squeezes it gently. “I’d like you to meet Carlos! He just transferred here last week. And he’s our newest cheerleader.” She comments with a wide smile, which Carlos returns.

“Hi! It’s nice to meet you. Both of you,” he says cheerfully, offering a tiny wave.

“Carlos! I saw you at practice yesterday, you’ve got some pretty sweet moves,” Mal comments.

Carlos’ smile widens at Mal’s praise, and a light pink flush spreads quickly across his cheeks, starkly brightening his face against the pale skin and freckles. 

He’s cute. Really cute. Mal can definitely see why Jay’s so smitten.

“Thanks, Mal. I really love dancing. It was super exciting to make the squad. Evie’s put together some great routines.” He leans into Evie as she smiles and throws an arm around his shoulders for a side hug.

“And you’ve had some great ideas already, Carlos! I can’t wait to see what we can do together.”

Jay clears his throat, grabbing everyone’s attention. Mal sees his hand under the table between them, clenched tightly and at his side.

“Y-Yeah, Carlos.” He says weakly, curling his lips into a half-smile. “I saw you too. You’re...really good.”

Carlos spins back to meet Jay’s eyes with a warm smile, cheeks still flushed and adorable.

“Thanks, Jay.”

Mal bites back a laugh, shaking her head at Jay. He’s so shaky and nervous, totally not the suave flirt she’s used to seeing. And he’s joining late to the conversation and being SO awkward.

He’s so fucked for this kid. It’s time to step in and help.

“So, Carlos. Are you just new to our school, or new to Auradon City too?”

“Both!” He answers brightly, turning to Mal. “We lived in Camelot Heights before, but Roger and Anita thought it would be better for me here. Auradon Prep is known for their Math and Science programs.”

Mal quirks a brow. That explains his excited math chatter with Jane earlier. She peeks at Jay, who’s still listening intently to Carlos, resting his head in his hands with a stupid grin on his face. Obviously the nerd vibe hasn’t phased him at all.

“That’s great! Math and Science aren’t really my thing, but they have a lot of options here to keep you happy if you’re into that stuff.”

She leans in a little, offering a tiny smille. “But have you had any time to explore the city? There’s a lot of great restaurants and shops and stuff.”

Carlos shakes his head, waving his hand around in a circle. “This place is so big, and between tryouts, getting my schedule and taking the tour, I’ve barely even had time to get settled in my room.”

“Well! That’s got to change.” Mal pops back upright. “Evie and I are obsessed with the Auradon City Grille. They have the best burgers around.” Evie’s eyes widen as she nods excitedly at Carlos.

“Yes! And then we always hit up Mrs.Pott’s after for coffee or tea and some of her cupcakes. They’re my favorite,” she gushes, clasping her hands gleefully.

“Ooooh. That sounds great!” Carlos’ eyes light up with excitement. “Do they have chocolate cupcakes? I’m a sucker for chocolate.”

“Yes!” Mal jumps in. “You have to try it.”

Carlos nods eagerly. “I’m in! That sounds like fun! When are we going?”

Before Evie can respond, Mal reaches out to clasp her hand. She smiles knowingly, and Evie closes her mouth, perking her eyebrows in silent agreement.

“Actually, Evie and I are going to be pretty busy this week. I’m bombing Chemistry at the moment, so she’s going to help me study.”

“Oh, ok.” Carlos’ face drops a little in disappointment.

“But!” Mal claps Jay on the shoulder. “Jay here should be free.”

Jay chokes on his water, sputtering as he swallows his mouthful. He looks at Carlos, who’s staring back, and looking, hopeful.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m free.” Jay swallows loudly. “D-do you wanna go t-t-tomorrow night?”

Carlos smiles full and wide, showing a mouth of gleaming white, perfect teeth.

“Yeah. It’s a date.”

[westcoastprancer]

My Auto-Spaz-Ography

***WARNING - WAY TOO MUCH UNNECESSARY PROFANITY***

Getting past the only child bullshit...sue me I guess? Not my fault my parents could only handle one of me. Pretty annoying growing up hearing from morons that I must be a spoiled little shit...

Can’t really argue there. Aside from self-inflicted hunger (you know...that junior high self image bullshit..starve and lose 5 lbs in a weekend), I’ve never gone hungry. I’ve never been cold, without clothes, or a roof over my head. I was taught values. So yeah, I am fucking spoiled rotten. No apologies there.

People who continuously stay “stuck” royally piss me off. These weirdos are toxic. Avoid them at all costs. They will not change. You will thank me for this piece of advice sometime in your life. Everybody’s got a problem. So do I. Set goals for yourself. Get the fuck off your sad ass every couple weeks. Find your best friend (if you don’t have one of those...you should seriously consider working on finding one) get trashed, talk it out and let that shit go for a while. If you’re stuck in a rut for more than 2-3 months, get help. Seriously. It’s not embarrassing. It’s way more shitty in the long run when you turn out to be the aforementioned person who just stays fucking “stuck”. On another note, subject of the week has been middle aged divorced broads with kids and how sly and bitchy they are. If they go ape shit on me before getting their facts straight, imagine what they do to all these poor men? No fucking wonder a good, non hot dog throwing down hallway status, loyal, no bullshit broad like me can’t find a solid dude. The good dudes are out there getting berated by these broads they knocked up and can’t get out of it now because...you know...the kids and stuff. I’m glad I took a different path. Can’t imagine being in that desperate place looking for affection because I am 37-47 year old wrinkly, loosey goosey broad thinking I was tossed aside by a shitty man, when I am the nutbag...just looking for attention. It’s easy to get laid. No strings. No problems. Many people make it way too complicated. My friend’s brother is hilarious. He is kinda a douche and I love his stories about profiling chicks. My favorite was when he told this broad at the bar she looked beautiful and she said how he made her day! (First red flag) They go to exchange numbers and she once again tells him what a nice time she had meeting him ( nothing wrong with that) but then goes on daily wishing him a good day. That’s another desperate sign. Come to find out...middle aged. Divorced. Kids. Lonely in the panties. You know the drill. I used to host this radio show called Cryin’ Lovin’ Laughin’ or Leavin’ so I learned these things sort of young. You remember the patterns of people. You know warning signs of crazy. Here’s the most invaluable lesson, most people are batshit crazy. Keep the wall up a while. Test people. I have caught so many good people (so I thought) in lies through the years. Even little irrelevant lies. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, relative, colleague, or significant other. When you catch someone in a lie of even the smallest, you wonder what else they are capable of lying about. It changes everything. Be like me. Don’t lie. Sometimes it’s hard, but then you have nothing to hide and having the truth on your side keeps you out of some really shitty situations.Even if it is so embarrassing and you have to put a towel over your head to face the truth...do it. If you don’t believe a word of anything else I say...believe me when I tell you about people. The good and the bad. Just take the time to get to know a person. You don’t want a lazy middle aged squinty eyed salmoncake real estate selling Mom moving her and her kids asses into your house all of a sudden. You ain’t that desperate. Oh and dudes, I’m coming for you...don’t act desperate either. Just don’t. I tend to take your sides on this shit because dudes on the other sides of things are usually just happy to be free, so their demeanor is totally different. But that doesn’t mean I won’t flip sides on you if you guys start getting weird. Covid seems to have made everyone crazy.

Even in a good mood, there is nothing better than a super depressing 90’s country song...am I right? It’s that sad shit that always gets me in my damn near non-existent soul. Look, I randomly placed 6th out of 20 on a totally impromptu Roast Battle at the Laugh Factory in LA one night. One of the roastmasters told me I did so well for my first time because I have no soul. HA HA HA...that one fucking stuck with me. Back to the point - if you can’t sit down with a couple good homies now and then and blast “Alibis” on 10 while chugging Crown, you should really address some things in your monotonous life. Just sayin for someone who doesn’t do the bar scene much anymore and barely has feelings...I know every color of every neon sign. I’m always hashin out a heartache in the back of my mind. Makes me remember not to go there ever again. People suck. I feel like I have already mentioned this. I’m not a “hard” person. I’m a realist. I don’t want to miss fantastic opportunities with people, but I also know those people are few and far between so I really keep my guard up. The right people always tear it down in time. 

People who get offended by profanity seriously piss me off more than a hive of wasps chasing me. Let me be clear...if I wasn’t dropping at least 72 f-bombs a day...I’m not sure where I would be in life. It’s turning all negative events in my life into positivity. I mean when you think about the F word. No matter how you slice or dice it...it does have a positive meaning in any context. “Go fuck yourself.” - Ok! “Fuck that!” - With what?! “Fuck You!” - Time and place please? Etc… Do you know what I am fucking saying?

Seriously asked my father the other day why he didn’t own Hilton chains or something. I’m sick of this fucking sweaty ass work too hard lifestyle with hardly any time to do fun shit. The idea of being some stuck up heiress with holes in my pockets sound fucking fantastic to me sometimes. Maybe just not the stuck up part. Could you imagine me that way? Snap my fingers and a drink comes! First class flights to St. Croix with my inner posse.  Living the goddamn dream. Me and my doggies on a private island!

I’ve become a bit dramatic, I think. For an extremely hard headed Portagee, I can still call myself out when needed. It’s kinda weird not living alone anymore. I’ve got a badass homie around now (wish I would have met years ago) who actually gives a shit how my day was. So I kinda get called out now on my bullshit. (Side note: It’s important to keep company around you who doesn’t enable your negative traits. Your best friends will call you on your shit and help you grow.) Sometimes I’ll lay down and pout all day over some shit that is NOTHING. Just get stoned and forget the fuck about it. I’m sure this is something I’ve been doing for years. Never caught it til now. Checklist to work on. No one likes even a small percentage of a drama queen. Yuck.

Amazing the shit I think of while stoned. What’s the point of dating? Attach yourself to another person for life? Is that even natural? Attach yourself to yourself...not American Pie style you pervert. Attach yourself to doggies. I cannot stress enough how fulfilling life is raising pups. Watching them grow and learn. I’m not even talking about the ones you raise from babies. Even at an older age, your dog will still learn and grow with mental stimulation and affection. It’s so amazing to watch the new things they learn and pick up on. If you treat your dogs well, they will treat you double as well until death do you part. Sure, it’s shitty you get so attached and they don’t live very long, but it teaches you perseverance. True value of cherishing your pals and moving on in your life always keeping a piece of them with you. Sounds fucking gut wrenching sad. It is, but I promise you the time you spend with your pups outweighs the sadness in the end.( If you’re planning on spending zero time with your animal, leave your pet in constant confined spaces, starve or beat it...don’t fucking get one. Don’t even get close to one. They are better off in the wild than with your crazy ass. You ain’t right.)

You can’t be a lying dickface all the time and expect everyone to be nice to you. Saw a good one on Family Guy that touched my sweet heart a little. Stewie to Brian: “You’re not my friend. Friends come and go. You’re family. That’s for life.” Sounds so sweet. In fact I wanted to call my bestie and tell him that. Then I snapped out and realized “family” can be a super toxic F word. Sad thing is I have a pretty big “family” on each side, yet the older I get, I have realized my only family is my parents. In fact, I have created my own family full of non-blood relatives. Life is wonderful in the positive environment I have created for myself through the years. It’s amazing to form bonds with amazing people who have no ulterior motives like wills and money. Fucking money brings out the true colors in people. It’s sad. People spend their whole lives trippin balls over money. That must suck. 

Those dorks at Central Catholic. Even at 15 made me laugh like hell. They’d interview the football “stars” getting full rides to Notre Dame and shit. My favorite was when asked about their favorite band... “Creed man. Such great “hard rock” with such powerful, positive messages.” Those dudes are probably miserable in their physical therapists jobs with their cheating whore wives who come home smelling like ratty vaginas. Someone had to fucking say it. Embarrassing confession: “My Sacrifice” is a FANFUCKINGTASTIC song!

I have a hard time with people. I try my best. I always learn and continue to grow. I got that goin for myself. People suck. People are cruel. (3rd time I’ve said this today?)  People take no time to disappoint me for the most part. If you’re kind to me, I will be twice as kind to you. If you’re a fuckface to me, expect me to be an extra double fuck with a cherry on top. Add some nuts too and suck on that shit. I’m a badass person to have in your life and on your team. If you’re lucky enough to make it into my inner circle, I’ll probably be one of the best friend’s you’ve ever made. If you can’t look at yourself in the mirror and see the person that you would like to be friends with, you need to make some changes. It took me a long time to become my own best friend. If you can’t be solid with spending time with yourself, you can’t be solid with anyone and you’ll eventually become a dead weight. Take the time to get to know yourself and work on it...for me it’s constant. I know there is other people with my qualities in the world. If you find one, take the time to learn about them and ease your way into friendship slowly. Actions speak louder than words. Prove yourself to be a good human. Be patient. The best relationship of any type comes with time and work.

Let’s see…

Don’t be a fucking retail investor.

Don’t be a fucking commie.

Don’t be a fucking douchebag. 

Don’t fucking settle.

Don't stop bettering yourself for you and those you care for.

Don’t stop fucking being YOU!

LO

[sabraeal]

OH OH, some hakizana jealousy, modern, or not whatever u want. and you can choose which party is jealous. maybe both are. ;)

Haki would like the record to show that despite what some people might say, she was not trying to start trouble.

She’s just so bored.

Introductions have been made (this is Haki, my daughter, he father says with an open gesture, as if she’s one of the Gould up on the wall; you remember my fiancée, Izana drawls, hand warm on the small of her back, right above where the deep vee of her dress ends, Haki), and she’s summarily abandoned at a cocktail table as her father and fiancé work the room. She presumes her purpose must be to spice up that particular corner, which only holds a sad potted plant nearly her height and what she assumes is a modern sculpture, but looks like an uncooked, oversized, marble piece of penne.

She’s not the only one to have been abandoned as table dressing; there’s more than a few women standing around like cosmopolitan-drinking gazelle, left by their much more important dates to go gladhand and make money. She sees Medina’s wife among them, holding court with a bunch of doe-eyed girls that can’t be much more than eighteen and are probably here on visa. She should try to talk to them, she knows; that’s her job, to winnow information from wives and girlfriends, to smile in all the right places, leverage all the right friendships. She knows this. She was raised for this.

But she can’t be that person, not tonight. Makiri’s face keeps surfacing in her mind, hair shorn to a finger’s worth of bristle, his features grainy on the SATphone’s display. He’s happy now, but she remembers when this was a problem that needed fixing, when every phone call was we need to talk about that brother of yours. Tonight he’s just a talking point for when someone asks after the American flag pinned on her father’s lapel.

That’s the thing about Pandora’s Box, isn’t it? Once you let something out, it never fits back in again.

She needs a minute, Haki thinks, catching Izana’s back as he traverses the room, deep in conversation with some of her father’s associates. She just needs to get herself collected.

The bathrooms at the venue are spacious private stalls, complete with well-lit vanities. She wants to splash water on her face, but she spent an hour making her face look photoshop-flawless; its the sort of effort that can’t be recreated in a public bathroom, no matter how nice. Instead she digs into her clutch, pulling out her phone, connecting dots to get through her lock screen.

She’s not supposed to use her phone at these things; it’s been drilled into her since her father bought her a rhinestone-studded Razr for her thirteenth birthday that a girl who drags out her phone at a formal function for entertainment is vapid and petulant – two things that aren’t part of the persona they’ve agreed on. But she’s not a child now, and if she wants to feed small virtual kitties in the privacy of this public stall to retain some of her chill, she’s going to fucking do it.

Or at least, she is until she sees she’s got a missed text.

u gt th thing rt?

Haki blinks, trying to translate garbage into human speak.

YesSorry ObiI meant to send you a thank you emailI can definitely use that

She doesn’t expect an immediate text back; the timestamp places it a few hours ago, and Obi is mercurial in his texting etiquette, but she’s hardly put it down when the phone begins to buzz against the marble.

n e q?

She stares at the text for a moment longer than she has any earthly reason to, and groans.

Only why you text like a garbage person

aesthetics

Your aesthetic is the garbage?

i prefer to think of myself as a performance artist and terrible garbage texting is my medium

It certainly engenders the same feelings as when I view modern art

rage at your own mortality and frustration at the futility of life?

NoNausea

His only response is a line of indecipherable emoji – she thinks half of them are semaphore flags –and she assumes she at least made him laugh.

“Haki.”

She turns at the unfamiliar voice, smile bright on her face even though she just missed the bacon-wrapped scallops again. It’s an older man she’s never spoken to, but she recognizes him from Izana’s notes as one of the men he’s courting for investment capital.

DeLeo, forty-five. He’s into sustainable living close communities.

“That’s your name, isn’t it?” he asks, suddenly unsure. Humility is charming in a man with a nine-digit net worth. “I heard Izana introduce you.”

“It is.” She smiles. Even without the notes, she’s familiar with his work. A fan, even. She’s been trying to get her father to look into his designs for the past year. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

He hurries to put out his hand, wincing when he realizes how firmly he’s gripped hers. “Mark,” he says, “Mark DeLeo. I’m –” His eyes run over her once before he settles on. “I’m an associate of his.”

It’s only training that keeps her mouth from going rigid. “You build sustainable communities, don’t you?”

His eyebrows go up at that, like he’s surprised to see she can do more than stand around and look nice. “I do. Has Izana talked about my work?”

He pitches forward, curious, but she sees the lift at one side of his mouth and – ah, that’s his game. He’s hoping to get information out of the girlfriend. He wants leverage, wants to know how bad Izana needs him.

“No,” she lies smoothly. “I just read about your work in Wired. I liked your idea for recycling water for hydroponics.”

“Oh.” He pulls away, disappointed. “You don’t happen to know where he is, do you?”

She feels her smile pull tight. She’s not the one with the money, she reminds herself, there’s no reason for him to want to talk to her.

“Of course,” she says, so cordial.“I think he just ducked onto that balcony.“

Now that she knows there could be a text waiting for her, she feels more of an impulse to check.

She’s stealthy at least, making sure neither Izana or her father are looking when she slips around the corner to the bathroom.

speaking ofdon’t tell me you’re staying in tonightare all your besties at promises?

Haki coughs at that, wishing she hadn’t chosen that moment to try to sneak a drink of water.

Please, no one goes to Promises anymoreIt’s like you don’t even read the gossip column

vile slanderi know all the hot celebrity gossipi even know which olsen twin is which without googlingthat’s why im shidan’s favorite

I didn’t realize he was such a fanI’ll get him an autograph the next time they’re in town

okay but only mary kateshidan says ashley is a hackshe was really phoning it in on it takes two

“Haki,” croons one of the women by the bar. All of them are looking when she turns to them, but it’s Medina’s wife that continues, “Are you all right?”

“Chantel.” She keeps her voice even, almost friendly. Medina is old enough to be her father and Chantel is close enough to her age to be her sister, but that’s not her business. “I’m just fine. Thank you for asking.”

She hopes that’s the end of it, but of course it’s not. You don’t get on a reality show by being the sort of person who doesn’t create conflict.

“I just see you’re going to the bathroom a lot.” She leans in, mouth canted smugly. “And out with that fresh new fiancéof yours.”

Haki can’t help the way her gaze shifts to him, deep in conversation across the room, DeLeo and Medina both gesturing with some passion. What she wouldn’t give to trade place for even a moment.

“Maybe you’ll need to consider letting out the waistline of your dress.,” Medina’s wife presses. “Or maybe buying in an ivory?”

She has been drinking champagne half the evening, but this is what Chantal comes up with? She scans the crowd for cameras – usually there’s paperwork if they’re filming, but there’s no reason to take the chance – and Haki gives her a smile that is all teeth.

“Oh, Chantel don’t worry,” she coos, laying a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “I’d never wear something that looked so fake as a white dress.”

Haki plucks the cosmo right out of her hands and downs it, handing her the empty glass with a smile. “It looks like we have a good bartender tonight, doesn’t it?”

She’s eyeing her next opportunity for escape when she feels a hand at her back, a warm breath in her ear.

“Are you feeling all right?” Izana asks, sounding as if she could be bleeding on the floor and he would still be flagging down the server for a canape.

“Perfectly,” she purrs back, flashing him a smile. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” His tone very clearly says yes. “It’s only that Chantal was saying she’s seen you taking frequent trips to the lavatory.”

Chantal Medina is not getting a Christmas basket this year. “Oh no. Just a little too much champagne.”

The look he gives her now is earnestly concerned, his hand sliding around to palm her hip soothingly. “If you don’t feel well, we can leave.”

“No, no.” She flashes her teeth at him. “I’ll just switch to water.”

The balcony is the safest place,as long as she stands just beside the doors, obscured by fronds.

And just where are you tonightIf you’re judging me for my plans

under my roommatenot as exciting as you would thinkalso youre at a GALA of course im gonna judge that shit

Under your roommate?If you’re texting me then you’re really good at what you’re doingOr excessively bad

wouldnt u like to know

A picture loads on screen of a red head buried in his side, both of their legs tangled on the couch. Haki’s half tempted to tell Izana to break out the champagne, since his devious plan is well on its way to working.

Not to be crassBut perhaps you should consider waking the girl with your clothes onAnd suggesting she give them back

intriguing ideabut still not interested

Come on, didn’t they teach you how to handle girls in your boyband days?

yeah but all those chastity agreements really harsh the whole player vibe

Just bend down in front of herI’m sure everything will work itself outYou have that Park Jimin ass

how dare u utter the name of my bitter rivalPark Jimin has MY ass

She hesitates.

You two look cute, though

don’tpls

“Ah,” drawls a voice right next to her ear. “Here you are.”

She stiffens guiltily, but the phone is already being lifted from her hands. Izana thumbs off the screen, not even glancing at its content. His smile is wide and fake; he must think someone is watching them.

He slips her phone back into her clutch, palm brushing against her waist. “You don’t want your father catching you with that.”

She shakes her head, watching him with wide eyes. She doesn’t think she’ll ever quite be used to how he talks low like that, how he makes her breath come short.

His fingers band around her wrist, gentle but stern. “I think,” he says, with no humor at all, “That you and I should have a talk. Privately.”

[hunterlockwood-blog1]

hey lovelys !! it’s ya girl rachel here sliding in to the game completely unorganized despite the fact i’m an admin? tbh, sounds about right !! anyway, i’m SO glad that you all decided to join our little roleplay and make our efforts worth while. now, before i get TOO sappy i’m going to proceed to introduce my two little shitbags. you know the drill, under the read more is all the infos !!

i’m gonna try to keep this short and sweet, but the likelyhood is i’m going to excessively ramble because i have a tenancy to do that.

TROIAN BELLISARIO? oh wait, that’s HUNTER LOCKWOOD from room #A110, the FEMALE TWENTY-TWO year old FLORIST. haven’t they been a resident for SIX MONTHS now? I’ve heard that they are COMPASSIONATE & INTELLIGENT, although resident whispers say they can also be NAIVE & EASILY MANIPULATED. i swear everytime i hear MEDICINE by DAUGHTER they always seem to come to mind!

TRIGGER WARNING: CAR ACCIDENT

grew up in a VERY sheltered household, her dad is a cop so she basically grew up hearing him complain about all the kids her age and all the petty little crimes or things they did and basically it made her terrified of being that kind of person bc she didn’t wanna make her dad annoyed with her like he was w/these people

she had an older sister who legit was like ?? light of her life tbh she aspired to be her so so sOoo much because she thought the literal world of her

her sister was a writer n started up a website when she was in highschool that was basically like.. different columns with different themes like ‘whats in right now’ or what events were happening in their neighborhood/school or study tips ya get?

so smol hunter was also a writer n a pretty good one like a journalist n whatever 

and so one day big sis invited her to collab and basically they ran the site together

tbh i like to think it’s was probs pretty popular bc her sister would of been outgoing asf and probably had a lot of friends

fast forward a couple of years and welp 

basically her sister got killed by a drunk driver and lmao bc i hate myself her dad is a cop aka...... he was called to the scene fuck me up why do people let me do this 

but the death kind of majorly fucked up her family a lot? like u think her dad was overprotective before?? it got ten million times worse because the last thing he was gonna do was lose another kid

but like, minus all of that like the house just became really quiet and her family weren’t as close anymore

hunter is legit such a compassionate person, so seeing her parents in pain she bottled all her own emotions up  and put them on a shelf for another day and rather than mourning she took care of her broken parents 

which is honestly the worst thing she could’ve done because she still to this day has never fully mourned the loss of someone that legit meant the world to her and it’s just ?? kinda fucked her up a lot

after it happened she pushed kinda everyone away? like she had a friendship group and a boyfriend and she just kinda shoved them out of her life because she was like nope lol 

instead she took it upon herself to try and fill the role of being the ‘star child’ like her older sister was. she has a tenancy to completely overwork herself tbh, or will literally say yes to anything? 

wHICH TBH YEAH OKAY she’s a literal doormat and while her family aren’t like super toxic her dad is kinda..... a dick? but in a way you can’t really notice it

but he pretty much uses her as a doormat and she’s completely wrapped around his little finger like he still treats her like a little kid and she’s not allowed to break his rules and she’s just very very terrified of disappointing him so she isn’t really living her life to the fullest because she’s too focused on being this pristine little good girl 

she lived at home til recently and tbh her dad highkey hates where she’s living because it’s not the nicest place and he’s always trying to get her to move and offers to pay for it if she does

her mom owns a couple of florists, which is how hunter got the job; she’s been working there for a long ass time and tbh she actually enjoys it? she’s basically head of the store she works in tbh. 

oh also she refuses to write anymore bc it reminds her of her sister

also has a long haired german shepard who is love of her life she’d die for that dog

this got so long i’m sorry i’m trying to fit everything in rip

oH I ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION LEGIT THE REASON WHY I EVEN PICKED THIS SONG WTF

okay so, hunter is 100% a person who overthinks literally EVERYTHING and after tisby died it kind of became impossible for her to sleep? i mean tbh she’s probs lowkey an insomniac, she would go days without sleeping and just be a general zombie 

but her doctor gave her like.. sedatives?  basically a medication that would help her sleep but sleeping is so much easier than being awake when you’re legit despressed asf despite the fact you don’t show it so she kinda... got... addicted??? 

lowkey still takes them sometimes because she’s a rly bad sleeper tbh she thinks to much idk

also hates cars now and tries to avoid them like the fucking plague 

VICTORIA JUSTICE ? oh wait, that’s CARTER HASTINGS from room #A210, the TWENTY-THREE year old BAKER. haven’t they been a resident for THREE MONTHS now? I’ve heard that they are AUDACIOUS & ALLURING, although resident whispers say they can also be OBDURATE & FIERY. i swear everytime i hear WREAK HAVOC by SKYLAR GREY they always seem to come to mind!

ima try make this one considerably shorter okay

sHE IS A PIECE OF SHIT

ya’ll don’t udnerstand i almost just left it as that tbh

okay so basically homelife growing up was lit she had a mommy n daddy who loved her v much and loved eachother until one day they didnt

which by that i mean mommy dearest found daddy-o fucking her bestie in their bed and it messed her up as fuCK

things just went super downhill from there basically carter just kinda raised herself bc her mom was kinda just ?? gone in the head a lil ?? like she doped herself up so much she just wasn’t entirely herself at all anymore 

carter just got into bad crowds because she was viewed as that kind of person tbh dirtbag aesthetic asf

she’s on parole rn and has an ankle monitor on for the next like six months bc she’s a bad human and got caught up in this drug scheme that was going on and they all got caught for it 

literally tried to flirt her way out of the situation tbh like she does with everything

if she can bat her eyelashes and dirty talk her way outta something she’s sure as fuck gonna try

probs doesn’t give a shit about ur opinion of her

has a shitty temper and will literally fight anyone at any time about anything 

idk man she’s just super problematic and i hate her fucking guts

oH BUT OKAY SHE BAKES ???

i mean both herself and actual baked goods 

it just kinda happened on accident like she got hired in this place after she got put on parole bc it was part of the deal she got a good job n wahtever but it turns out?? she lowkey had an undiscovered talent

is the type to bake at 4am and will probs knock on ur door asking for flour or to use your oven or something 

makes lit pot brownies js js 

ya’ll this is a tOTAL trainwreck, but i’m too excited to just post it and get to plot with you all !! so on that note, please please lets plot? i plan on shooting everyone a message about plotting but if you wanna beat me to it be my guest tbh.

[gotgifsandmusings]

A Wedding in Sunspear: Olenna IV gifcap

Holy macaroni, @theculturalvacuum just posted an update to “A Wedding in Sunspear” and it’s a thing of beauty. No I mean. Okay, I know I fangirl over all of Julia’s fic. But this chapter. THIS CHAPTER. I’ve been more or less alpha-reading and this is the moment I’ve been waiting for her to get to for like a year. To the point where I’ve had gifs lined up for it for a year. And it doesn’t disappoint.

So hold onto your butts and let me take it away with a gifcap of this latest pre-canon-canon-compliant-amazing-Austenian/Martinesque fic!

Where we last left off on the EPIC FIELD TRIP, Daeron was being a total jerk-face to everyone, insulted Olenna by saying how terrible their betrothal was, and then proceeded to tell Loree she had never truly been in love. We pick up now in not!Petra where Dany and Olenna are still being besties, and Dany is consoling her as they casually climb up a cliff.

There’s stairs, but I can’t imagine they’re very helpful.

Dany is letting her feelings be KNOWN because that’s how it’s done in Dorne, goddammit. And she’s more or less ready to punch Daeron in the face.

But Olenna for some reason defends Daeron for “not meaning it.” Patriarchy Brain? Targaryen Brain? Which Dany doesn't find that convincing.

Ha. Neither would Loree.

Olenna needs to stop since her lungs aren’t used to scaling rocks, apparently. So they sit and chill while she defends her douchebag ex boyfriend even more.

She also says she can’t really move anymore (lol Reach women), and that’s when she starts to notice Dany continually looking up to the top of the steps.

They talk briefly about culture differences, until it’s clear Dany’s bored, so Olenna’s just all

And Dany’s like

and fucking ditches her.

As Olenna has time to sit and think through things, her brain does this thing like “maybe being an antagonistic asshole...IS rude??”

And she has much more success than Dany did with Maron 2 chapters ago. See, Daeron *is* a douchebag who *did* act selfishly and *does* have zero good reason to be rude to Olenna. She triumphantly realizes that he really does deserve to feel guilty about the situation. Even though he probably doesn’t.

However this crowning achievement is short-lived when Loree and her snazzle approach, and Loree just kind of freezes and is all:

So they instruct Olenna to just stay calm and walk towards them slowly:

And when she lives through the encounter, she’s so relieved that she gives Loree a giant hug:

Loree’s like:

Then she suggests continuing up the stairs of doom to the sept because Olenna “will like it.” Way to profile Reach women, Loree. Despite her legs mostly falling off, Olenna agrees, because, well, it was Loree who asked.

On the way up they run into Alleza Dayne, who just wants to chat about how cool this place is, but has possibly driven everyone away with her encyclopedic knowledge, or something. So she joins the merry crew to go explore the awesome sept.

And on the way up she and Jambud Ladybright nerd even more about the history of the First Men building it and all. Olenna kind of thinks they’re awesome, but the patriarchal bullshit that’s drilled into her head makes her all aware of the “danger” they’re in. She’s just glad she doesn’t have to wander around in solitude like Alleza, even though that’s literally what she had been doing three seconds before.

However, things get a bit more Kool Kids Klub when the gang gets to the sept and sees the lovely sights inside.

(ugh, it was this or Blaze bein’ Blaze with Julie, so...)

But yeah. It’s Dany and Maron, and he’s like copping a feel and everything. Olenna immediately gets tears in her eyes, because I’m not sure people make out on the Altar of the Maiden in the Reach all that much. But her attention soon gets drawn to Loree, who is doing that horrifying “I am not moving because I’m so angry” thing:

Damn cold Martells.

She orders Dany to leave, and even Joleta doesn’t question it, so everyone who’s not Loree and Maron flee from the room.

Once they get outside Dany’s like

But even Alyse is all “yeah she might fuckin’ murder Maron, idk.”

Making Dany all

It’s all moot soon though, because they’re nearly bowled over on the steps by Loree, who apparently stormed away from Maron already. He’s sort of running after her, shouting futilely about how earnest his intentions are.

But Loree is more

(Maron being “girl” in this case)

She seems mostly concerned that Dany is half his age (valid)

(Dany being “he” in this case).

So Maron tries to hit below the belt a bit, by pointing out Loree fucked a lot of dudes. Then for some terrible reason Dany decides to speak up too (even Joleta is like ‘wtf you’re going to die’), and she’s all:

And she mentions that they’re planning on getting married. To which Loree gets super, super stone-faced, to the point where Alyse is more or less praying under her breath. She explains in very clear, clipped terms that no. Just no.

She continues to head down the stairs, Dany running after her, and Joleta decides that it’d be a really nifty time to pour some lighter fluid onto this fire by trying to stop her and trying to ask what the big deal is.

Which Loree takes super well because A) this means that Joleta knew about it and didn’t tell her, and B) people are ganging up against her Martell Orders. She kind of snappily explains responsibility to her cousin.

Aaaand Joleta, already in a pissy mood because her girlfriend has a fucking job, is all “well not all of us are heartless!”

Which. Joleta. Girl. Loree was a fucking mess when we first met her! But no, she tells Loree that she must feel nothing to be depriving such a pure love of DanyxMaron. Daron? Many? Haven’t I asked this before?

God, Loree, *all* of this would have been solved if you just listened to Joleta in the first place and wallowed at the Water Gardens!

Aaand Loree kind of. Loses it.

Yeah, she begins screaming about how her heart is broken, and her duty is dumb, and Eliott has no clue how to please her. Sadly for her, and everyone in the room, and us, Joleta is feeling a bit masochistic (or is maybe 100% done with people who do their jobs, or is 1000% done with people who try and interfere with her sister’s happiness), and she calls Loree a “martyr.”

Which, for a second, gets really scary.

Fortunately, Broseph Lewy is there to catch Loree’s fists and stop the fucking murder that was about to happen.

Ohhh yeah. Lewyn. That means other people have shown up. So Olenna looks around and sees that...yup. Literally everyone is standing there, including a giggling Daeron and a really disgusted looking Eliott. I hope he heard the part about him being incompetent.

Loree is just like, “Whooooo wants to go to the Water Gardens?!” as if this was totally normal. Yup yup.

Olenna is slightly traumatized by the whole thing: first the copping a feel in a sept, then Loree being more upset at the idea of her cousins marrying than of them fucking, then the entire wedding possibly blowing up. Also Dany is busy sobbing at Joleta, and Olenna suddenly realizes that maybe this bestie of hers is a lil’ immature.

So she rides alone to the Water Gardens, rethinking this entire trip, and quite possibly her views on the Dornish.

Oh but holy shit, naked children are at the Water Gardens!

Olenna can’t believe it, especially since you can’t even tell which naked children belong to the rich people!

However, the most adorable distraction arrives in the form of Sonion Dennet:

It’s Artyr Dalt’s kid, and he runs up to his dad all adorable, and even Loree stops scowling to be super nice to him. Well, nice for Loree. She’s a lil

But he promises to behave at their dinner and fuck, it’s not like he has stiff competition to live up to in *this* company.

Unfortunately the events of the day make dinner a bit...

(I’m so sorry, but I’m not at all)

Sonion Dennet is the only oblivious one, and is just like “hey is my aunt here?”

And Joleta “I just can’t believe Loree’s martyr complex” Gargalen thinks it’s a great idea to direct her shade about it at her almost!nephew.

Olenna tries to break the silence down at her end of the table, so she’s just kind of like “oh, so this child that exists belongs to Artyr.” But oh no, it’s a Dornish trap that Olenna blindly stumbles into when she goes “I didn’t even know he was wed.”

See, no, he’s not wed. Dennet is a cute little bastard, and Artyr is betrothed to Lady Obella, the person sitting next to her. Which she tells her with a smirk. And then Genna Sand (her sister, and that one is allowed to be known) is like “lol stop fucking with her”, though she’s obviously amused too.

Olenna is finally #donewith this Dornish shit, and just focuses on her pie. After the silence stretches on forever though, Rhona the pro does her thing. Because she’s such a pro.

She pulls the best, safest small talk topic out of her ass: “the ride was really nice here.” Loree is kind of grouchy when she answers, but then Elda Toland picks up what Rhona was dropping and was all “oh yeah, the last time we rode here you jumped over all the ditches.”

It kind of seems like it’s working, and that Loree’s cheering up a little, but Rhona then asks why Loree didn’t ride the same horse again. And oh shit. Can someone please find Loree’s fucks, because she certain can’t seem to.

“No,” Princess Loreza said. She seemed for a moment as though that were all she had to say, but then her smile turned almost defiant. “That was Henrick’s horse,” she said.

Eliott does not really deal with it. He actually just storms off in a huff.

(the seed is strong)

Some Reach buds follow, and Lewy and Loree get into a small tiff about whether he should go too (he does), which kind of leaves everyone pissed with everyone!

And that’s when Loree calls it a night.

All gifcaps

[shatteredglassbutterfly]

Suffocated

Okay, maybe its the PMS or maybe I’m just thinking a bit too much. But having faced the 4 walls for almost 24 hours every. single. day. is really eating into my sanity. I face your family every single day and really, its tiring af. I know people tell me all the time that living with your in laws are never gonna be easy. Yeah, I get that. But this, this is a whole new level. I’m co owner of the house, yet I feel like I have no say whatsoever. When I have something I’m frustrated or unhappy about, I have one of 2 choices. To blow it up and make it known, causing tons of quarrels and problems among us 4 or, to swallow so I don’t put you in a spot cause I know it can be really tough. I know its not easy for you. And neither did you ask for this either. I get that. But I didn’t ask for this too. I remember before we even got the house and you told me you wanted to rent a place else where when they moved in and I kinda shut down the idea because I thought it’d be excess money wasted that could have been saved. But now that they’re here and they brought along someone else which I was never under the impression of, I wanna move. Now. Yeah it’d be expensive to rent a place elsewhere, but god, I’m seriously losing it. There’s only so much I can swallow. I tell everyone not to bottle up. But here I am bottling up cause I can’t voice it out to the people I need to to have things change around here. Yes, technically I’ve only put in grant money for the house cause I’m not working and my in laws have played a huge part in the monetary side, but without our names, neither of you would have been able to get a house. No? Even if you guys could have gotten a place without our names, then might as well put the owners names as you two and not ours. Why put our names then decide to treat me like I shouldn’t even live here? I feel imprisoned to my room. Heck even my 2 cats have to be imprisoned with us cause you decided to have a break down at 4am in the morning the first day you moved in. Where do I get a say in this house? Practically the whole house was catered to you guys. We had say for our bed, the floor and walls. That’s all. Nothing else. Why, put my name in if I’m gonna be treated like a joke and have no respect in the house at all? Why? I really don’t mean to be disrespectful but just because you guys are my husband’s parents and my in laws and are old doesn’t mean you can throw your weight around and have me live like I’m a prisoner in MY own house. Heck, at this point, I don’t even wanna call it my own house. It feels as though I got no where to go home to. This ain’t home. No where close. I might as well be living with tenants if it was gonna be this way from the start. I wanna voice it out. And I talk to one of my bestie about this and I do feel better at that moment. But then when its all quiet and I’m facing the 4 walls of my fucking room again, it eats me alive. I’ve been getting endless nightmares. Nightmares with meanings behind them. I have no say in my house. This house. I go to the toilet everytime and I need to check if its clean. Cause the certain someone whom they brought over is sick in the head. No. Do not even start to feel pity for this man. I used to pity him too. But when you need to live with him, fuck that. Which 34 year old man who can talk normally, speak to you like nothing ain’t wrong, doesn’t know how to flush a fucking toilet and pee into the fucking toilet bowl?! And even if you missed the toilet bowl, the sensible thing to do is to fucking clean it. No? But no. Everytime i go to the toilet, half the time I have to either clean up after him (which I should not have to do) or I have to bang on his door and order him to clean it up. He apologises the first 3 times. Then subsequently denies it ever happening or just cleans without apologising. Its disgusting. Moving on from this, why I say I have no say is because and note, I do understand that my in laws have a say in this house cause they have put money into it, but c’mon. My husband and I are owners of the house in paper. We did put money in too. But you started drilling holes into our walls and hung up religious stuff without our consent. Please note, I have nothing against hanging up religious stuff in my house. I’m ok with it. But I’m pissed for 2 reasons. 1) We were not informed or was it even discussed with us that this was gonna happen. This referring to the drilling of holes. 2) My husband had plans for the stuff he wanted to hang but my in laws were too darn bloody impatient to even wait for my husband to settle that. So tell me. First you bring someone else into my house without my consent. You sprung it on me and had me deal with it. Second, I have to clean up after your other son who can’t clean up after himself. Thirdly, you drill holes into my walls without discussing or even informing us about it. Fourthly, our food we buy finishes in 2-3 days cause everyone eats it and leaves NOTHING for us. Fifth, I had to lock my 2 beautiful cats in my room cause you think we’re trying to kill you slowly and make you suffer. Sixth, you can walk around the house without a bra but when I do it (its all covered and nothing is showing, no side boob or cleavage nothing) oh god forbid its wrong. I HAVE TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE AT WHERE I LIVE. WHAT IS THIS. End my misery and just remove my name. Heck, remove me from the house too. I don’t wanna be here. Really. I fucking hate every fiber of my being that I can’t say no nothing cause then it’ll look like I’m being disrespectful to my in laws or the elders cause I think its unfair and unjustified. I’m not one who keeps quiet when I feel something’s not right or its not fair. But now I have to stfu and live with it and honestly, its eating me alive. You think I’m trying to kill you? You compare my husband to his other brother and say I’m trying to psycho my husband into choosing our cats over you? Bitch wtf? This, this is the definition of killing someone slowly. Not my cats. Heck no. I’m really sorry to say but you guys being here is eating away at my sanity and everything I’ve worked so hard on to come this far and be who I am. This, is how you kill me slowly. You rid me of my sanity then slowly watch me burn as I crash and crumble into a billion pieces. God, I haven’t had a suicidal thought in such a long while. I hadn’t had the urge to self harm in so long. But thanks to you guys. I’m here again. I’m so fucking tired. But all I can do is this. Write it all here. I don’t even feel better. I feel so suffocated I wish I could just stop feeling. I hate this. I hate what you guys have done to me. I hate that I let this happen to me even though everything that happened was never in my control. I wake up feeling so much negativity and hatred and anger and frustration for you guys every single day. But when you guys speak to me despite doing everything to me, to us, I’m still respectful and I’m still nice. When I cook, I ask if you guys want anything. But when you cook, not even a single word. Nevermind I run out of food to cook, you don’t even offer or buy immediately after everything is finished. Nothing. If we had to wait for you to stock up the fridge, I’d starve to death by then. I thought having you guys move in would mean I didn’t have to worry about meals anymore. But I guess its the opposite. Really. I’m tired. I feel like I’m gonna break. I feel my very being cracking under all these pressure and nonsense. On top of it all, I’m trying so hard to help someone who is depressed af to feel better every single day. I’m sorry if I snap or I seem like I don’t wanna talk. Its really difficult. Its so stressful and its becoming too much for me to take. I know my husband has his own set of problems to settle. I get it. But is it too much to ask just for him to speak to his parents to have things change around here? Is it too much to ask that I don’t need to clean up after a 34 year old man? Is it too much to ask for some respect as your wife in our house? Its always this way. I either give respect or something else, but I never get it back in return. Then when I burst after too much swallowing, suddenly I’m the bad guy. Suddenly its all just my fault and that I should have been ‘more understanding’. Hell, then who’s gonna care about how I feel? How I think? You guys have issues, I close one eye and deal with it. But god forbid I have a problem. When is it ever gonna end? I just feel like packing up and leaving. Leaving everything behind just to escape for a while. But where to? I got no place to go. Sleep on the streets? I can’t. But I’m not heard or listened to. Nothing changes. The more this goes on the more I feel like I’m losing my mind. And no one gets it. I’m really wearing thin. I act like its all okay. I’m all alright. But no. I’m not fine. I’m not even close to being okay. I hate this. I hate me. I hate everything in my house. And this isn’t even my fault. I thought things would get better after getting married. Yeah, its a new phase in life. New stresses and problems. But this one was avoidable. But here I am. Stuck in my room. Writing away cause I feel like I don’t know what else to do. Not even helping me feel better. Heck I might even get scolded for posting family matters online. Probably not the best choice. But I gotta do what I gotta do to stabilize myself. And I know you don’t understand this. But all I ask is for you to just know that I’m not trying to make your family look like assholes. I’m just trying to hold on to what little sanity I have left. To keep going. Cause I feel like I’m gonna crumble. And you know what? I haven’t had a bad episode in so long I forgot how it is like to deal with it. And now that I feel it coming back, I don’t know how you’re gonna deal with me when I’m in the ditches. I just wanna pack up and leave. Leave everything behind. Just disappear. Then you guys would be happier without me right? God I never thought I’d ever have to say those words or feel that way ever again. But hey, here I am. Again.

- Melissa