#yeah!!!!!!! augh

[keferon]

“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!

Ahahahahahahah here I go again

Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed

I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk

Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~

[sabh0]

TDIPUD: Side B Dazai u scare me

[nico-the-overlord]

Me after cutting my nails extremely short again: ow why does my nail hurt

The nail bed:

[Image ID start. An image of a man peaking out a hole amongst stacked rocks. Image ID end.]

[sage-nebula]

Something I've been thinking about over the past week is that Rachel's expectation over whose death would fuck Jake up the hardest vs. whose death actually fucked Jake up the hardest wasn't right, and how that says so much about their characters and how it also hurts really badly.

Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that Jake wasn't affected by losing Tom, because he very obviously was. Tom was his entire reason for joining the war in the first place and part of him held onto hope until the end that Tom could still be saved. And I'm also not saying that Rachel didn't think Jake didn't care about her at all, because that's not true either. She knows Jake does, but that he's doing what he has to do.

But when you think back to the conversation they have when Jake gives her the assignment, and he tells her that he won't have a way out for her, Rachel's concern for him isn't how her death would affect him, but Tom's. "It won't just be the yeerk. It'll be Tom." And while she acknowledges that of course Jake doesn't want her to die in her opening narration in book #54 and is making this call because he has to, at the same time there isn't a sense that Rachel thinks her death is going to be the one to hit him hardest here. It's Tom's, she's sure of it. Emotionally, Jake could afford to lose her, but Tom? That one gives her pause.

But one year after the war . . . again, Jake does still mourn Tom, obviously. He carries the guilt and grief of everything. But one of the strongest images of #54 that has always stuck with me is Jake sitting at Rachel's grave for several hours at a time, after hours, with regularity. It sticks out to me because you know Tom must have had a grave or memorial as well, I'm sure Jake's parents would've had one set up, but in all of Marco's stalking he doesn't see Jake sit and visit with it. Jake doesn't visit Tom. He visits Rachel.

And it just, to me, speaks to a complete subversion of Rachel's expectations, which were predicated on her own perception of how the rest of the team saw her. They "loved [her] in their way" but she was also a monster, blood thirsty, the garbage disposal, the one to do the dirty work. And she was as fine with that as she wasn't. (It was the biggest point of inner conflict for her—the war between her fear and her need to appear brave, her need to protect her friends from the gruesome vs her revulsion at what her actions said and made her out to be, etc.) Jake cared, sure, but also he saw her as a blood knight who might as well die in battle because that was her role, that was what SHE did, better her than anyone else on the team. Jake knew that, it would help him recover from his correct choice, far more than he could ever recover from losing Tom, who—unlike Rachel—was wholly innocent.

But Jake didn't recover. Because yes, he loved Tom and Tom was a wholly innocent victim from day one. And Rachel was overtly aggressive, and reckless, and part of her scared him, as much for her as anything else. But also, he talked to and fought and bled beside her for three traumatizing, agonizing years. They saw the best and worst of each other. Jake left her in charge when he had to leave on that trip. They talked about leadership after, about hard choices, understood each other on a level that would lead to that final choice in the last battle. Rachel couldn't see it because she couldn't see her value in the team as anything other than the brute and garbage disposal, but she WAS more than that, to Jake. She meant so much more to him than that, and it hurts so bad that she didn't realize it.

[anemonet]

[Outtake from iterator Prosperity of Populace final speach to her citizen before its disassembly.]

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

another reason i think that xie lian felt an instant connection on the ox cart is because he and hua cheng both grew up in xianle.

there are maybe 4 people still alive that grew up in that culture. based on my own experience, you can pick up on things like accent, cadence, references, and humor that suggest a person is from the same place as you without consciously noticing it. that sense of comfort and similarity probably played into their instant chemistry.

[khattikeri]

one of my favorite things about mdzs is that for how heavily its plot involves politics of classism and misogyny... even the characters most directly impacted by it can't and don't free themselves from it. literally the closest exception is mianmian.

meng yao being the "son of a whore" wasn't some sort of commie awakening for him that led him to wanting everyone to be socially equal. he played the political game, climbed the ladders, sucked up to and backstabbed and murdered people, including other prostitutes who actually had nothing to do with how he and his mother were treated at the brothel he grew up in.

he put in so much extra excessive effort for even a fraction of the same respect that members of gentry cultivation clans got. and he did deserve to be treated more humanely! but he feeds into the exact same system that created him, leading to his own undoing.

his efforts were for a fragile upward mobility that was never going to hold up. he never surpassed his origins nor did he empower others in similar stations, because the society he lives in is not one that would accept that.

the second he got caught and all those crimes exposed, he was scapegoated to hell and back, replacing wei wuxian as society's terrible one-sidedly evil boogeyman overnight.

speaking of not-quite male gentry, i think it's interesting that wei wuxian explicitly doesn't try to climb the ladders in BOTH lives, knowing full well that anything he does will be punished just for the sheer fact that he is wei wuxian.

wei wuxian is scolded for giving intelligent and correct answers in school. lan wangji does the same and is praised.

wei wuxian occasionally lounges around with fellow disciples and is punished. jiang cheng does the same and mostly escapes.

wei wuxian refuses to carry his sword around in public (after losing his golden core, which nobody knows) and is scorned as an arrogant upstart. nie huaisang has been doing the EXACT SAME THING for YEARS and nobody bats an eye.

unlike jin guangyao, wei wuxian knew subconsciously from the start that his acceptance was superficial and that he could be cast out any time. when he was 10 and recently taken in by the jiangs, he canonically would not eat or use "too much" food and water because he thought they'd find him a nuisance for "wasting their things" and kick him back out.

now away from just the classism, yu ziyuan is a proud and strong noblewoman in a society that belittles and derides women for everything they do. her strong cultivation doesn't matter. she's victim to the vicious rumors of her husband loving another woman who is strong like her but apparently had a more likeable personality.

it doesn't matter even if jiang fengmian didn't cheat or that wei wuxian is wei changze's son with cangse sanren; yu ziyuan can't bear with the humiliation of herself (and by extension her children) not being "good enough". she's ridiculed for "failing" in that one duty as a wife, mother, and woman.

she lashes out and takes out that anger on everyone present for years, giving her children lasting trauma and also being a key element in how the jiang family and yunmeng jiang sect are effectively wiped out at the hands of the wen clan.

madam jin doesn't even have a name outside of the fact that she's married to jin guangshan. i don't even remember reading anything that indicates if she's a strong or weak cultivator, or what, which in itself proves that to most people, it doesn't matter. she's "just" a woman.

of course she's angry at her husband's affairs and all the bastard children they bring in. but she also can't do anything about them, so she lashes out at the few people she can: servants. non-cultivators, probably. those very same bastard children.

shoutout to meng yao getting shoved down a flight of stairs at age fourteen, because if madam jin tried that move against her husband instead, it would make her lose even more face, which as a noblewoman she'd never do.

and that's not getting into how jiang yanli is consistently sidelined for being physically weak.

that's not getting into how mianmian was actually a good cultivator, but was mocked by everyone around her for trying to stand up for wei wuxian when everyone was turning on him. how everyone scoffed at luo qingyang's words as "just some lovesick woman" who "obviously wants to marry or bed him since he saved her".

luo qingyang is the only one of these characters who HASN'T died. she didn't play society's games like jin guangyao. she didn't dig her heels in confidence of her own abilities like wei wuxian.

she didn't bitterly lash out like yu ziyuan and madam jin. she didn't gently accept it like jiang yanli.

she just LEFT.

she married an ordinary merchant and cultivates separately from mainstream cultivation society, and therein found her own peace and happiness.

mxtx doesn't bother with particularly class conscious or feminist vocabulary to hand-hold readers into understanding these disparities, but that choice highlights them & the deeply entrenched politics of their society even more. i really love it.

[sykam0re]

shhh she's eepy

[canisalbus]

Not my husband showing me a screenshot of your art and claiming that it looked like something I would gush over and me of course having to prove him wrong going psh nah intensely ignoring that I've had your blog marked to get notifications as well as bookmarked way back when we were only boyfriends in college. I really love your art btw, it's been wonderful watching your style evolve and your talent grow over the years. Also, Beau if you're reading this you're still wrong.

.

[solargeist]

I know you mainly draw Evo smp but I would like to see how you draw Tango Tek, your art style is very nice on my eyes

thank u ! I actually watch Tango I like him !!!

This is kinda quick and messy but ! Him !

[shimmershy]

Chara Week Day 5: Ghost

Every time I see that machine in the True Lab, I wonder if it could possibly be Chara's soul in there? Probably unlikely, but not impossible... It's interesting to think about what the implications of that would be.

A version with no text and then a version with just the machine, because I think it looks pretty cool and ominous alone as well.....

[crowvainn]

"you wanted us to face our truths? so how about you face yours!?"

[livinginadumpster]

the more I watch this episode the more I love this sequence. it's so important for the development of crystal and edwin's relationship, and I feel like it highlights their similarities so well, in the ways they think and act and also how they both just care so much.

both plagued by their respective hellish encounters, both so caring and so deeply kind despite their histories, both so willing to do anything to close this case; they initially bond over their fear of losing charles but it quickly becomes so much more than that. their dynamic works so well. I love it so much.

[finzphoenix]

Hi Finz!!!!!!! Still can't get over the fact we're mututals because your art is so good, ahhhhhh-

What's your reaction to the newest chapter of Batman: Echoes '89? (Or something like that) because I for one am FROTHING AT THE MOUTH!!!!! Why did they have to make everyone so hot....

Look at his smile, he's so precious 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (also, what's your reaction to this man being confirmed as this universe's Riddler?)

But let's also not forget the man himself, the Master of Fear.... he absolutely SLAYS with the gas mask, oh my God

I wasn't sure at first how to feel about him, but OH BOY do I love him now!!!

Apologies for the rambling, anyways: your thoughts on the designs and how things are going in the story so far?

Your thoughts are my thoughts exactly, dear! ^///^ Edward is the cutest and it's incredibly endearing how both of their smiles could light up an entire room! This story has been such a pleasant surprise. It's unique, gripping, stays true to the '89 vibe of the movie without being too silly, and Crane is down BAD for well-read men... I mean, what's not to love?

Regarding Scarecrow's design, like you, I had some trouble warming up to it, but the latest issue has finally won me over. Reaaally made me envy Bruce! 👀👀💦

[bees-draws]

[hana-no-seiiki]

i’m sorry like i havent even watched the movie yet (waiting for it to come to disney plus) and he probably already canonically does this

b-but miguel, yandere or not, definitely uses the multiverse as his own form of wish fulfillment. like next level fanfiction.

why write or read em when you can watch em live?

definitely jacks off to you fucking other miguels like it’s just another normal ass monday.

the only difference between yan mig and non yan is that yan mig would get in those universes to fuck every version of yourself there is rather than just watch. jealousy just consumes him whether or not it’s him you’re with.

it’s just not fair that they got to keep you and have you a mess underneath like that and he doesn’t. all rationality leaves him as soon as the thought of your insides milking his cock enters his mind. whether you’re a man, woman, something in between or hell even an alien blob.

miguel fucks.