#yea this is a shorter one but i laughed at it so anyone who's seeing this should laugh too. behold

[aimless-dubs]

yeah, this is how last cookie standing went.

this comic was made by the talented @thegreatlock !

[cleolinda]

Varney the Vampire: Chapter 1

[I originally posted a shorter recap of this chapter on Livejournal, on December 7, 2010. If you'd like to just read the original, less serious version of the recap, that's here.]

[Content note: I'll talk about this a bit later, but, heads up: this opening chapter describes an assault that’s more vivid than I remembered. That's the second half of the recap.]

I'm not actually going to rewrite all my Varney posts like this, but I'd like to talk not just about the way James Malcolm Rymer wrote the chapter, but also the way I recapped it 12+ years ago.

First off, I don't think I gave Rymer enough credit for the atmosphere of the opening; maybe I just appreciate it more after struggling through some of the filler chapters. I did give him some credit, noting that there are 900 words of gothic effectiveness before anything actually happens—I'll quote the very beginning at some length so you can get a feel for what the next 230+ chapters are like:

The solemn tones of an old cathedral clock have announced midnight -- the air is thick and heavy -- a strange, death-like stillness pervades all nature. Like the ominous calm which precedes some more than usually terrific outbreak of the elements, they seem to have paused even in their ordinary fluctuations, to gather a terrific strength for the great effort. A faint peal of thunder now comes from far off. Like a signal gun for the battle of the winds to begin, it appeared to awaken them from their lethargy, and one awful, warring hurricane swept over a whole city, producing more devastation in the four or five minutes it lasted, than would a half century of ordinary phenomena.

It was as if some giant had blown upon some toy town, and scattered many of the buildings before the hot blast of his terrific breath; for as suddenly as that blast of wind had come did it cease, and all was as still and calm as before.

Sleepers awakened, and thought that what they had heard must be the confused chimera of a dream. They trembled and turned to sleep again.

I summarized this as:

The lightning! The thunder! Ominous calm! The buildings scatter like toy houses! O THE STORMY STORMINESS OF THE STORM. And then the hail starts up, at which point I started laughing, because… hail. Sexy, sexy, stormy hail. Oh the hailiness of the hail, the stormy sexy chunks of ice hailing on your head, yea, unto a mild concussion. In conclusion: hail.

I had some interesting expectations here about gothic atmosphere, or perhaps just the vampire genre itself, necessarily being "sexy." You do see some eroticism in a vampire story like "La Morte amoreuse" (1836), but—remember how I mentioned the cottage industry built on Polidori's "The Vampyre," which ultimately results in Varney the Vampire as a sort of parody? There's no Erotic Biting in any of that. Biting of any nature happens off-page in "The Vampyre," and to my knowledge, Ruthven doesn't manage to bite anyone in spinoffs like The Bride of the Isles. At the time Varney was first published (1845-1847), I don't know if people were expecting scenes like—well, what's about to happen next.

Enter Flora:

And now we meet Our Heroine, Flora Bannerworth, an aptly-named maiden who is "young and beautiful as a spring morning," bare shoulder, sculpted ivory bosom, teeth of pearl, moaning in her sleep, a flood of loosed tresses, so on and so forth. Wind, rain, sexy hail, 600 words, FLASH OF LIGHTNING! SHRIEK!

Okay, I clearly expected the heroine to be eroticized, and I was at least right about that:

The bed in that old chamber is occupied. A creature formed in all fashions of loveliness lies in a half sleep upon that ancient couch -- a girl young and beautiful as a spring morning. Her long hair has escaped from its confinement and streams over the blackened coverings of the bedstead; she has been restless in her sleep, for the clothing of the bed is in much confusion. One arm is over her head, the other hangs nearly off the side of the bed near to which she lies. A neck and bosom that would have formed a study for the rarest sculptor that ever Providence gave genius to, were half disclosed. [...]

Oh, what a world of witchery was in that mouth, slightly parted, and exhibiting within the pearly teeth that glistened even in the faint light that came from that bay window. How sweetly the long silken eyelashes lay upon the cheek. Now she moves, and one shoulder is entirely visible -- whiter, fairer than the spotless clothing of the bed on which she lies, is the smooth skin of that fair creature, just budding into womanhood, and in that transition state which presents to us all the charms of the girl -- almost of the child, with the more matured beauty and gentleness of advancing years.

Y'all.

I had read a lot of Victorian literature by 2010—took graduate classes, even—and was too jaded to be as fazed by this quasi-Lolita mess as I maybe should have been. I remember reading this and thinking, "Yeah, that's standard. Goes on a bit, though."

Having established Flora Bannerworth, Victorian Lolita (she's the only person with any sense for several chapters, don't hold it against her), the story starts to ramp up. Flora sees "a figure tall and gaunt, endeavouring from the outside to unclasp the window" in the next flash of lightning. She's not sure what she really saw; it turns out that the literary point of the hail is that she can't tell if the sound she's hearing is ice raining down on her gothic mansion or vampire fingernails trying to claw the window open. And like, who thinks "Obviously, a vampire is trying to get in"? She saw it so clearly, and yet, storm, darkness, hail, she could just as easily explain it away—how did Ann Radcliffe differentiate terror from horror? Basically, terror is the dreadful lead-up and horror is the shocking revelation? So we switch here from the horror of OH SHIT VAMPIRE AT THE WINDOW back to the dread of waiting to find out what it really was.

Around this point in the original post, I pointed out that there are four elements you might see in a vampire story: the Appearance of the Vampire; the Attack of the Vampire; the Victim's Consumptive Suffering; and the eventual Destruction of the Vampire. You see these pretty reliably in Dracula, for example; you see them subverted in Interview with the Vampire, where the vampire is eventually destroyed by fellow vampires, but then it turns out he wasn't, and he goes on to be vampire king and see Jesus and mess around with the Devil and Atlantis is involved, idk I didn't keep up with those books after the one with the body-thieving. In this particular chapter of Varney, we get the first two elements, and they are honestly very effective: "Frozen with horror!" I said. "Heart beating wildly! The strange reddish light from a burning mill in the distance! The vampyre's nails clattering against the glass as it seeks to open the latch! She tries to scream but cannot to move, but cannot! Her cries for help are but hoarse whispers that no one can hear!" And then:

(I want you to remember Lord Ruthven's "dead grey eyes" here:)

The figure turns half round, and the light falls upon its face. It is perfectly white perfectly bloodless. The eyes look like polished tin; the lips are drawn back, and the principal feature next to those dreadful eyes is the teeth the fearful looking teeth projecting like those of some wild animal, hideously, glaringly white, and fang-like.

(Sidebar: This is apparently the first appearance of the word "fang" in vampire literature.)

It approaches the bed with a strange, gliding movement. It clashes together the long nails that literally appear to hang from the finger ends. No sound comes from its lips. [...] The glance of a serpent could not have produced a greater effect upon her than did the fixed gaze of those awful, metallic-looking eyes that were bent down on her face. Crouching down so that the gigantic height was lost, and the horrible, protruding white face was the most prominent object, came on the figure. What was it? what did it want there? what made it look so hideous so unlike an inhabitant of the earth, and yet be on it?

Here I am, making a very good point while being gleefully insensitive:

Panting, repulsion, heaving bosoms, etc. And then begins the slow agony of Flora oozing across the bed in her attempt to escape. Hair streaming (slowly) across the pillows, covers dragging (slowly) behind her, until she gets one foot (slowly) onto the floor. This is one of the few times the paid-per-word aspect works in Varney's favor—it has the endless creep of a nightmare, so let's take a moment to bask in a brief ray of quality. Undaunted by effective writing, the vampyre reaches her and drags her by the hair back onto the bed; "Heaven granted her then power" to scream her head off. And thus follows the most awesome sentence I have yet seen in gothic literature:

With a plunge he seizes her neck in his fang-like teeth a gush of blood, and a hideous sucking noise follows. The girl has swooned, and the vampyre is at his hideous repast!

My Hideous Repast is totally the name of my new goth band.

And that was the end of my commentary on the chapter.

I'm torn here because I do think the writing in general is entertainingly overblown, and I do think "my hideous repast" is funny in the abstract. But what I don't understand—not to bring the room down, but I feel like it should be pointed out: when I started recapping Varney the Vampire back in 2010, I completely missed the fact that this opening scene is describing a sexual(ized) assault. Some readers might be really, really uncomfortable with this scene. Why did I not see this?

I came here to have fun and that would not have been fun?

I was approaching the serial from the assumption that it's silly and melodramatic, so anything that happened also would be?

This cover illustration did not exactly set me up to take it seriously?

I was so used to the ravishment fantasies of gothic/vampire media that it didn't strike me as something unpleasant or unusual to read?

It was 2010 and we didn't necessarily question problematic angles as thoroughly as we do now, even though I was already critiquing Twilight in 2008 so that's kind of a bullshit excuse?

I still think the melodramatic writing is pretty funny in places and I'm not sure how I feel about myself for that?

I think at least some of my reaction actually does come from writing about Twilight from 2008 onwards. It was a vampire story that had a marked lack of Erotic Biting scenes, to the point where director Catherine Hardwicke had to add one to the movie: Bella's fainting-couch fantasy of Edward as a classically gothic vampire, which apparently involves shoe-polish hair.

The mood 15 years ago (!) was, some people loved a twinkling repressed sparklepire insisting he mustn't touch his high-school ladylove, he mustn't! but he must!!, and other people were big mad about it. Reading Varney, it felt refreshing to go back to a "traditional" story and say, see, there is bloodshed and it's not sparklewashed and tame, that is what real vampiring looks like. And somewhere along the way, I think I lost sight of the fact that Twilight, for all its many faults, at least involves someone who enthusiastically consents to being bitten. Like, Bella as would-be victim consents when Edward doesn't; the big tension of the series is that Bella is always throwing herself at a hungry vampire who keeps running away from her.

Hey, you might say, in the midst of a cultural moment when everyone’s going wild over the bizarrely chaste story of a teenage girl and her guilt-ridden goody-two-shoes vampire boyfriend,

remember when vampires were actually scary and forced themselves on their victims?

wait what do you mean that's not great

By “not great,” I don’t mean that vampire villains are Problematic™ and should be banned from fiction. I'm saying, that's the point, that it's villainous to force a vampire bite on someone; that's what the horror of the situation is about. That said, one of the unique holds that vampires have on audiences is the moment when “force” becomes ambiguous—ambiguous for the characters, but when we consent, as readers and viewers, to seek out that ambiguity. Like, I’m here for vampires because of that, the psychodrama is the whole point for me; it’s not because I like watching people get chewed on. That ambiguity holds an audience-proxy tension between “I don’t want this” and “but I do want this.”

Case in point, Dracula attacking Mina in the original text: Mina is horrified to find that she’s compelled to submit despite herself (“strangely enough, I did not want to hinder him”), although that scene is heavily weighted towards “I don’t want this”—towards horror. A story like “Carmilla” has Laura feeling confused, conflicted, unsure of what’s even been happening behind the veil of her dreams: Do I want this? What am I even wanting? “Whatever it might be, my soul acquiesced in it”: more of a balance between want and not-want. Whereas Bella immediately wants to be bitten, end of, and spends three books chasing a vampire who is agog at how little she cares for her own life. It's... some kind of tension, for sure.

Thousands of words have been written about how this tension is tied to societal sexual repression, of course. And as the decades went on, as sexual mores loosened throughout the twentieth century and beyond, writers and filmmakers started saying, “Oh, the vampire’s bite is enjoyable and it doesn’t turn you immediately into a vampire, have fun.” (The U.S. seems to be moving politically back towards repression, which makes me wonder how vampire media might change soon.) And this is why Twilight feels like a metaphor for literal chastity: there are immediate consequences for being so much as nicked by a fang, and so all the eroticism is dialed down to teenage makeouts.

And so, in 2010, I was so busy enjoying the literary contrast between Twilight and a book where vampires actually bite people that I lost sight of the fact that what happens to Flora is a particularly cruel and vivid assault. I mean, getting dragged by her hair, Jesus Christ, why was I not more disturbed by that?

What this then makes me ask, though, is how did readers in 1847 take this?

Who was this written for?

Readers who would identify most with Varney—attacking Flora, which is awful, but the action as written is extremely callous?

Readers who would identify most with Flora—being attacked, which suggests a "horror is a safe roller coaster" framing?

Readers who wouldn't really identify with either of them, but instead might picture it as a stage play?

Given that Polidori's Lord Ruthven set off a "vampire craze" onstage, I lean towards the third option. It takes a certain bystander detachment to read this scene and not think of its reality—to empathize—at all. And my "lmao this is so silly" is, in fact, a form of detachment. But all three of those options are possible, all at once.

So: is this opening chapter intended to be funny? (Subsequent chapters are far more intentionally humorous, and I had doubled back to recap this after reading ahead.) Are we meant to laugh, or is the outdated style only unintentionally funny now?

Is it satirizing earlier vampire literature/theater on purpose?

Is humor a way of making it easier to read a scene like this?

Is it not a good thing, really to make a scene of assault "easier to read"?

Did I, a reader who would identify with Flora, need it to be easier to read?

Is it okay to have multiple, conflicting reactions to something?

The only answer I have is "Yes," to that last question. And the only thing I know to do with conflicting feelings about media is to accept them and say, as a data point: here they are. There’s a level to this first chapter that I completely did not grasp 12-13 years ago, when I was 30+ entire years old, and I'm still not sure why that is.

I do think Varney the Vampire is frequently pretty funny; weirdly, the subsequent chapters read like a parody of Dracula if everyone in Dracula except one (1) heroine was completely useless, 50 years before that book was even written. Flora might be the victim in this chapter, but she is not the butt of the jokes. But I guess what we need to think about is—if this book is meant to be parody, why is it funny, who is it making fun of at any given point, and what purpose does that serve?

At this point, the antiquated style is what’s funny to me, and I’m making fun of Rymer. Did Rymer intend his readers to find the opening chapter funny? Maybe not: I think he intended it, certainly, to be titillating, even exploitative—and I was aware of that, but maybe not enough.

We'll resume with Varney trying to get over a garden wall. It will be a shorter, lighter post.

[pretentiousgayguyidk]

Kakucho x musician male reader!

CW: Mentions / hints towards cannon character death, if you haven't finished the S62 / Tenjiku arch and don't want spoilers please don't read.

Also I'm so sorry it took so long to finish this is really really fucking long and imma wind up making a part two 😭 like I'm not at all done with this story ahhhhh so imma probably start working on this immediately after posting- cause I legit don't wanna end it here but it's so long

A day off, that rarely happened for poor Kakucho. He usually took work others couldn't finish and got stuck with many hours of overtime, being a Bonten executive took it's toll on him. Despite being in Bonten, he was a very kind and gentle man; just severely miss understood due to his scar and title. Usually, commoners never knew he was in Bonten; yet they strayed away from him. He was tall, intimidating. So it was a memorable day when he ran into a cute guy carrying a large case on his back, and by running into him, he actually ran into him.

Kakucho tensed, bumping into a guy just a little shorter than him. The man carried a case almost half his size, an instrument case. Kakucho being instrument inept couldn't tell what the hell it was, he almost didn't even recognize it was an instrument case to begin with. He stared up at the scared man and Kakucho half expected him to run away, which would be a pity. He was very pretty for a guy.

(Name) smiled at him, his cheeks rosey and he awkwardly laughed rubbing the back of his head. "I'm so sorry for bumping into you Sir." He apologized politely, bowing ever so slightly before passing the black haired man. Kakucho blinked for a moment, and turned back around. Losing the other in the crowed. He wasn't scared of me? This started to make his head hurt, not only was the guy cute but he didn't look at Kakucho like he just murdered a family of cats.

He sighed, knowing he'll be able to find the man eventually. Wether the means are ethical or not... Well that's another story.

He sighed and plopped down on a park bench, often finding it peaceful. During moments like this he was great ful for his scar, it kept people from talking to him. He glanced around, feeling his jaw drop slightly as he saw the pretty man from before, sitting under a tree picking at an electric guitar. He slowly stood up and hesitantly approached the man, hearing the string's sound change as he re-tuned it.

He glanced up at Kakucho, a surprised expression on his face. "Oh, it's you!" He exclaimed, smiling kindly at him. Kakucho felt his heart skip a beat, how could someone radiate such pure golden retriever energy?

"You play guitar?" Kakucho mumbled, silently sitting next to him with some hesitation; like if he moved too fast the cute boy would suddenly be afraid of him. He nodded, plucking at the thinnest string.

"I've been playing since I was eight," Kakucho's eyes widened a little. He always wanted to learn, tried to learn on Izana's old guitar but broke the thin string. He gave the other a slight smile.

"Would.... You be able to teach me? I could-"

"Sure!" Kakucho blinked, glancing over at the (h/c) haired boy with surprise. He didn't even think, didn't even let Kakucho say he would pay him.

"I... Thank you, I'll pay you for your time-" (Name) glared at him and shook his head. He hated the idea of selling off a hobby, learning something like an instrument shouldn't be such a luxurious thing. Anyone who wants to enjoy music should be able to, just as people who enjoy art get to enjoy art.

"All you gotta do is pay for the guitar, I've always liked teaching people. Plus I'd get to see your pretty face," he complimented, winking as he said it. The black haired crime lord sat there absolutely flabbergasted. Kakucho Hitto, Bonten's upper echelon pretty? No one ever said that to him, most people don't even want to look at him.

"You think I'm pretty?" He mumbled, the other nodded. "Even though I have a scar?" The other froze for a second, a slight pout on his face.

"Yeah? Who says scars can't be pretty?" He said, glancing up at Kakucho. The criminal felt his heart melt and some of his walls crumble. Who would have thought all it would take to have Hitto Kakucho fall for someone was just one genuine compliment.

"A-anyways. My name's Kakucho, Kakucho Hitto. You are?" He quickly brushed away the compliments, trying his best to ignore his hammering heart as he changes the conversation.

"(Name) (Last Name), you can just call me (Name) though." He finally strummed the guitar, it now perfectly in tune. Kakucho watched in awe, not knowing hardily the first thing about guitar it was pretty easy to impress him. (Name) smiled at him. "You wanna try playing now?"

"Yeah, if it's okay." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. (Name) handed him the guitar and moved to sit closer, their shoulders and thighs touching.

"Okay, put your right hand like this. Okay, then position your fingers like this." (Name) instructed, helping the other get adjusted, Hitto tried his best to ignore just how close he was to the cute guy. Once Kakucho was adjusted comfortable, (Name) slowly aided him step by step.

"Make sure, your fingers aren't on the fret, but don't put them too far away. Just next to it. Yes! Just like that!"

"Pick the A string going up so you can play the low G string easier. Ah no sorry, pluck with down wards stroke! Yep, like that!"

"Try playing an open note, then play a 3 A. Yep! Good job Kakucho-kun!"

All the praise and gentle guiding was making Kakucho feel dizzy, he hadn't met someone so sickeningly kind since meeting Hanagaki. Even then Hanagaki could be rude at times, but (Name)? He didn't have a mean bone in his body, even when Kakucho kept messing up his finger placement and strumming too hard he never got irritated.

They wound up sitting under that tree, playing guitar together for thirty minutes; and now Kakucho could easily play the first part of the song which seemed eerily familiar.

"Could you play the full song? It sounds familiar, but I don't think I'll be able to figure out what it is with my playing." He chuckled, he remembers the weird strained whine the string made when he had his finger placement slightly off. (Name) gave him a sweet close eye smile, gently taking the guitar from his hands.

"Of course! Tell me when you get it." He said, he started easily playing it, it sounded so familiar. The low and melodic strumming, though it was clearly missing something. Probably drums. Kakucho gasped, perking up a little.

"It's, an Arctic Monkeys song right?" He asked, (Name) nodded with a smile.

"Yep! You know the name?" Kakucho's brows furrowed, what was the name? He thought for a moment, listening as (Name) continued to pick out the tune perfectly.

"Do I Wanna Know? Is that it?" (Name) stopped playing, silencing the guitar. Kakucho tensed up, hoping he wasn't wrong.

"I'm surprised you got it. You like listening it them?" He nodded, then froze.

"Yeah! Well- I only listen to music when I drive... And I don't really like to drive too often." He mumbled, pressing his index finger into his temple. Mindlessly rubbing his scar. (Name) nodded in understanding.

"I have to go soon, I have to get to the studio later. I'll give you my number so we can play some more!" He exclaimed, gently placing his guitar into it's case. Kakucho nodded, hesitantly accepting the other's phone; after typing in his number he hands it back awkwardly. It felt weird to just... Give out his phone number like this, usually Kakucho was more cautious. (Name) smiles, glancing down at his phone before stuffing it into his pocket - after a moment he realizes that he might be late to practice.

"I'll message you In a bit, have a nice day." Kakucho smiled, waving to his new friend who stumbled away awkwardly.

"He's a nice one," Kakucho jumped, hitting the back of his head on the tree behind him. He cursed silently, rubbing his head with a scowl. He was met with none other than the purple jellyfish, master of sneaking up on people; Rindou Haitani.

"You keep your grabby hands away from him Haitani." Kakucho growled, making Rindou raised a brow. The Haitani's are known for their nosey behavior, and their tendency to take things that aren't theirs. They were usually the extra paper work he had to deal with, and he was not about to let the jellyfish take his lovely little guitarist.

"Hm? You going after, after him?" Rindou asked, the usual bored expression on his face, the only change in his expression was that he maybe raised a brow. Kakucho nodded without hesitating... Big mistake Kaku. "You have two weeks to make him yours before I swoop in and snag the pretty little thing." Rindou waved the black haired man off, lazily walking away without waiting for a response.

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

As soon as he made his way home, Kakucho checked for a notification from a random number. Pacing around the penthouse, anxiety swirling in his chest. Once he got a long the tension compressed then snapped when he read the message. Relief filling his heart as he let out a sigh and flopped back on his bed. The message was definitely the cute little guitarist.

Hey Kakucho-kun, it's me (Name)! I was wondering if you had a guitar and what model it was, if you don't know just send me a picture. I'm a little more busy today but I'll be able to to help you any time! :)

The smiley face was more enough to melt Kakucho's heart, his face burning red as he could practically see (Name) smiling as he typed out the message.

Yeah, I have one. I think it's an acoustic? But I'm not too sure.

Kakucho quickly fired back, jumping off his couch and running into his office to grab the guitar. Hesitating as he approached it, an image of Izana peacefully strumming it in his office. His heart tightened in his chest as he took a picture of it. It was a gorgeous guitar. Black body with white trim. It was simple yet the way the paint shined made it seem much more elegant. It was a little dusty from lack of use, just sitting on a guitar stand in the corner of Kakucho's office. The only time he ever touched it is when he couldn't take it, missed Izana so much all he could do was hug the guitar. He was never able to muster the tears, no matter how much he wanted to cry sometimes.

His phone buzzed, pulling him out of his own head as he turned away from the guitar. He glanced down at the notification and smiled a bit.

Yep it's an acoustic. Looks like it might be a Yenen. Oh and it looks like you need new strings, the others look pretty rusted, and the G is broken.

Kakucho paused, glancing back at the guitar. Were strings not supposed to be that colour? He took a closer look, some parts of the strings were shiny silver and gold, but others were a red brown.

You know how to fix it?

Of course! I probably wouldn't get far if i had to get an entire new guitar every time a string broke hehe.

Kakucho practically face palmed at his own stupidity. Why would they make an instrument that was useless when a string broke when it's perfectly possible to make them replaceable? He laughed a little, sitting back in his office chair as he watches (Name) type something out.

If you have time, meet me tomorrow at the park. 24:00 - 24:30 There's a store nearby, we can get you some pics and strings :)

Kakucho quickly typed out a response, stuffing his phone into his pocket before finnaly picking up on his paperwork. None of the paperwork was due immediately but he'd rather not be overloaded with work the next day, especially with the sneaky Jellyfish's threat.

Exhausted beyond belief, Kakucho managed to get all of his work done in record time, just barely making it to the park on time. 24:28. He panted, a hand on his chest as he approached (Name); who was standing under the same tree from the day before. (Name) smiled at his friend, freezing when he noticed the other's state. More prominent eye bags, messy hair, a lazily thrown on hoodie and jeans. It was an odd contrast to the pure black suit, and combed hair.

"You alright? You look like a trainwreck." (Name) joked, despite his humourous words a look of genuine concern was etched into his face. Kakucho gave him a strained smile, still trying to catch his breath. He ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to look half decent. (Name) chuckled lightly and gently brushed down the fly aways making Kakucho freeze.

"I... Uh- anyways... You mentioned going to a store?" (Name) nodded, taking note of the black haired man's flustered expression.

"It's just a few streets down, are you good to walk? If not I can... Drive." He hesitated a bit, having caught on that Kakucho wasn't a fan of driving in the slightest. The taller paused for a moment, he wasn't as in shape as he used to be and could really use a walk and he could avoid a being in a car.

"Yeah I can walk. Need to get more exercise anyways." He joked, his breathing finally calming back down. (Name) smiled, gently taking the other's hand and leading him towards the store. God, the way Kakucho choked on his own breath at the gentle gesture was almost embarrassing. He hesitated a bit before tightening his grip as they walked... It felt nice, to be able to hold onto someone like this. It's humiliating that all it takes is some kindness to melt Kakucho, he practically fell for (Name) in only a few hours.

He would never admit it, but Kakucho had a weak heart. He was weak to anything innocent, weak with envy. He hated that he grew up so fast, hated that he had to see what he saw, hated that other kids are going through the same things as him. He hated it all. He was by far the softest Bonten member.

"Oh! There's a boba store near the shop, we can stop and get some on the way back if you want." (Name) exclaimed excitedly. The way he smiled up at his new found friend and student could make even Mikey melt.

"Yeah, yeah we can go." He mumbled, a small smile playing on his lips. (Name) looked at him with awe, like he was the most precious thing in the world; with a reddened face he turned away. Kakucho raised a brow at him but decided not to question it.

Once they entered the shop Kakucho's jaw dropped, many beautiful guitars where held up on the shops wall behind the counter, many different amps, picks, strings, sticks, stands, reeds, and pedals littered the shelves. (Name) laughed a little as he dragged Kakucho to where the strings were.

"Oh yeah... Which ones would I need?" He mumbled, observing the many packs of metal wires. (Name) hummed and looked through the different kinds.

"Hold on..." He mumbled, pulling out his phone and looking at the picture he was sent earlier. He observed the guitar then nodded to himself, "you'll want these." He grabbed two packs of strings and handed them to Kakucho.

"What else do we need?" (Name) shrugged, and smiled at him.

"Maybe some picks, I would have suggested a distortion petal but those only really work with electric and bass guitars, not exactly beginner friendly when working with an acoustic." Kakucho nodded, glancing around the store.

"What about an Amp?" He asked, tilting his head to the side, (Name)'s heart skipped a beat at the other's expression.

"Also only for electric and bass," he trailed off for a second, "I mean if you want to get an electric or bass I know how to play both and could teach you!" Kakucho smiled, he quite enjoyed playing electric the day before, and god knows he has plenty of money for a new guitar.

"Yeah, I think I'll get an electric." He said, glancing up at the guitars behind the counter. One specific guitar caught his eye, it was a sleek shiny guitar with a black base, gold, red, and white accents. Golden frets, white knobs, red and gold trim.

"We can get the Amp later if it's too much, plus it would be hard to haul around." Kakucho hummed, looking away from the guitar and back down at his teacher. He smiled and waved it off.

"No no it's fine, I'll call for someone to pick it up." He muttered casually, (Name) paused for a second then nodded.

"Alright, let's see what we can get!" He smiled, dragging Kakucho to the front counter. The man behind the counter smiled at the sight of (Name), glancing up at the scarred man behind him making him tense up.

"Ah, are you liking your new guitar (Name)?" He smiled and nodded.

"Yup, actually while I was playing it Kakucho-kun asked me if I could teach him, so we're getting him a new electric." He explained, the shop keeper nodded and glanced back up at Kakucho.

"Well, what do you want? We have some in the back too if you don't like the ones in the front, plus most of the ones in the front are more advanced." Kakucho, smiled politely as the older man trailed off; gulping down some fear as the gang member stepped closer.

"Can I take a look at the black, white, red, and gold one?" The shop keeper raised a brow as he hesitantly turned back to get it.

"You sure? It's not cheep, and it's not exactly beginner friendly." Kakucho nodded, his hair falling in his face a little.

"I'm sure," the keeper sighed and carefully lowers the guitar, handing it to (Name) first; obviously not trusting Kakucho. (Name) smiled and bowed slightly.

"Alright, I'll help him play it and we'll get back to you and tell you how he feels!" He exclaimed, practically skipping to one of the small studio booths for testing instruments and distortion petals. (Name) helped Kakucho get situated, plugging in the guitar and helping him hold it standing up. Kakucho stood a little awkwardly, not knowing exactly how to hold up the extra weight.

"Here, let me help." (Name) mumbled, gently taking Kakucho's hands and putting them in place as he adjusted the guitar's strap. He stepped away with a smile. "Better?"

"Yeah..."

"Here, try and tune it." Kakucho gave him a confused glance, glancing at the pegs then at the strings. His brows furrowed a bit.

"How?" (Name) laughed at his friends confused expression and grabbed a small tuner from the shelf in the back of the studio.

"Here, this will help..."

(Name) gently guided Kakucho, helping him tune the guitar. And silently listened as he played the first part of Do I Wanna Know, pointing out the slight mess ups and helping Kaku adjust his fingers. Once they bought the guitar and other supplies Kakucho called someone to pick it all up, other than the guitar which he carried in a case on his back.

"Alright, let's go get some Boba." Kakucho said with a bright smile, grabbing (Name)'s hand and dragging him out of the store. The two joked around, talking mindlessly as they drank their teas. Only to be interested by a certain pink haired man who happened to notice them.

"Ahh... So this is where you ran off to Kakucho! Not like you to go out like this." Sanzu said with his usual aggravated smile, Kakucho tensed up a little and glared up at him.

"Yeah... Just needed a break from work is all," he mumbled, (Name) glanced between the two. He tilted his head a little in question.

"You two know each other?" Kakucho let out a sigh and nodded.

"Yeah... We work together, sadly." Sanzu scoffed, (Name) let out a weak and quiet laugh as the tension suffocated the three. "Why the hell are you even here Sanzu?"

"The King wanted to try some, you know I don't go out for myself." Kakucho nodded, staring at Sanzu as he walked off to relay Mikey's order to the cashier. (Name) blinked a little, trying to shake away his confusion when he noticed how tense Kakucho was.

"Hey... You alright Kakucho?" He whispered, gently putting his hand on the other's. The black haired man snapped out of his daze and nodded silently.

"How about we get going... We can go back to my place and fix the acoustic." Kakucho mumbled, nervously glancing back. Was there something going on at work? (Name) nodded, standing up from his seat making Kakucho sigh with relief. Thank God he didn't question it. It was no secret that Kakucho and Sanzu hated each other, hell if it weren't for Mikey they would probably fight like rabid dogs. Sanzu glanced back at the two as he waited for Mikey's order, staring down the little guitarist with nothing but malice. A chill ran down (Name)'s spine, and he instinctually tightened his grip; making Kakucho glance back at Sanzu with a glare. He decided to walk a little faster, trying to keep his precious (Name) safe.

"God I can't stand him." Kakucho grumbled, (Name) nodded a little in understanding.

"Yeah I can see why... He's kind of unsettling." The red eyed male hummed, glancing down at his companion, giving his hand a gentle squeeze...

"Yeah... He's basically obsessed with our boss, it gets a bit annoying at times." (Name) sighed, glancing up at his friend.

"God, I feel bad for you and your co-workers. Working around someone like that can't be easy." He mumbled sympathetically, Kakucho gave him a tired smile and nodded.

"It's fine, he usually just avoids me for the most part... Probably because Mikey-Kun ordered him." He shrugged, (Name) raised a brow at him.

"'Mikey'?... Is you're employer American?" Kakucho laughed and shook his head, smiling down at (Name) a little. He probably shouldn't get him too involved with Bonten, otherwise he might lose his cute little teacher. A thought like that made Kakucho's heart break a little.

"Uh.. no it's a nickname, he prefers it over his real name." Kakucho mumbled in response, suddenly appearing more closed off to (Name).

"Hm... Alright I won't pressure too much." Kakucho sighed with relief and gave him a tired smile. I've gotta keep my little guitarist out of Bonten... As much as I can. The guitarist stayed quiet, happily sipping on his tea as Kakucho led him back to his car; a nice black BMW. (Name) almost choked on his drink when he saw the top class car, he figured that Kakucho had a well paying job considering how much be splurged in the shop... And the fact that he was wearing a designer hoodie and watch, so much for casual wear.

The Bonten executive politely opened the door for his companion, earning a flustered smile and a quiet thank you in turn. He takes a deep breath before seating himself behind the wheel. Cars still made him nervous to this day, yet somehow he was never nervous on a bike; probably because he was always with...

"Kakucho-Kun?" He snapped back to reality, tensing up when he felt (Name)'s hand on his shoulder. He glanced over, sucking in unsettled breaths through clenched teeth. (Name) gave him a soft, loving, concerned smile hesitantly taking the other's hand into his. Kakucho's hand was clammy and cold, honestly he almost felt like a corpse... Unsettling to say the least, considering his hand was so warm just a few moments ago. "Are... Are you alright to drive?"

"I'm fine." He mumbled, staring blankly at the dash. He responded all to fast for (Name) to let him off the hook, he really didn't want Kakucho to feel so anxious.

"Kaku-kun... If you're to anxious to drive I can drive- that is if you want." He whispered, soothingly rubbing the other's knuckles. Kakucho closed his eyes, sighing through his nose as he grips (Name)'s hand in his. (Name) sat anxiously, realizing he just used a nickname for someone he wasn't as close to as most people would be when they use nicknames.

"I'm okay now," he whispered smiling at (Name) softly, (Name) gazed at him with suspicion before nodding. Kakucho started the car and pulled out of the parking space, staying silent for a moment before speaking up again. "Also... I don't mind you calling me that."

"Really?"

"yeah... A few old friends used to call me that... Their gone now," he just barely said that last part under this breath, saying it so quiet (Name) almost didn't catch on. God did the sweet boy shatter his walls like they were glass, so much time spent hiding himself away... And it was all undone in a day and a half.

[noa-ciharu]

FuuKam 40 😈

Yea, this one suits then to the T. I made... angst 😭 I wrote pure pain and suffering, forgive me anon. It's X timeline so to be expected

40 - kiss because world is ending

"In the end, you've got your wish fulfilled"

Fuuma observed his soundings. Tokyo tower was nothing short of debris and ruins. Area around followed the same pattern; nothing but destruction in sight. Embers and ash all around, wind gusted and carried scent of death in its wake. Some ash got into eyes, made them water a bit; made breathing bit more difficult. In far distance fire could be discerned. Yet no sight of humanity.

There were none left.

An armageddon, just battle has ended long ago. World was ending. But sight was ugly and rotten.

He wished for this, yet victory felt hollow.

After all, there was something I wished for even more. So much that World's fate paled in comparison.

"Quite escapistic of you Kamui", Fuuma hushed and caressed Kamui's cheek. Metallic scent of blood reeked, didn't let him pretend for one split second.

Per expected Kamui didn't respond. More precisely couldn't respond. Blood was oozing out of wound on chest, as well as countless scratches and bruises Kamui had over his body. Eyes barely open, Fuuma could tell he was struggling to remain awake. Just this time Kamui fell into unconsciousness he won't be waking up ever again. Death was permanent after all.

Fate that Fuuma wished to avoid from the very start, one he was more than willing to destroy world for, to coax Kamui into killing him if needed for - it was unfolding right in front of his eyes.

Holy sword laid beside Kamui's body; front soaked in his blood. Whether what he did to Kamui could be considered murder or suicide by proxy, Fuuma couldn't pinpoint. Perhaps it was both. Perhaps it didn't even matter at this point. Only person who mattered in his world would be gone forever in mere minutes. Fuuma wished those final moments lasted for hours; instead they felt shorter than seconds.

A wish even wishmaster couldn't grant. No pain more agonizing than wishing to save loved one who doesn't want to be saved. Who doesn't recognize self-destructiveness taking hold.

You died in name of love, but there's no love here. Did you really think this would make anyone happy? Would make me happy?

Does it make you happy?

"Humans have deep capacity for selfishness inside them. Even deeper for irrationality", Fuuma murmured while leaning over Kamui's frame; voice hoarse and ragged, only moments later did Fuuma become aware of tears sliding down his cheeks.

Still he forced himself to smile a bit; after all, it would be last thing Kamui saw before inevitable demise. If he could, Kamui would probably be surprised by seeing him in such wretched state. Nonetheless Fuuma noticed his eyes widening a fraction.

"I know that the best after all"

All the wishes be granted, yet there won't be anyone to grant him his own. Irony couldn't hit harder, if situation wasn't so grim Fuuma would have laughed.

Kamui opened his mouth as to say something; instead he coughed blood. Chest raised up and down, breathing a difficult task when body was in critical condition. Life was fading out of him.

"You...won", Kamui managed to breathe out.

Meek smile reached Fuuma's lips. Whether it was sarcastic or genuine one, bittersweet or desperate one, he couldn't tell.

"No Kamui, you won"

All I wished was for you to wish to survive no matter what. I never cared about the World you wanted to sacrifice yourself for.

Gradually Kamui's eyes fell close. Fuuma was no fool to hope he would ever open them again. He leaned over Kamui's soon-to-be corpse, discerned weak yet still present heartbeat. On their left laid Kamui's sword; metal clear and shiny, proof of Kamui's inability to harm him; harm body of old Fuuma he died for wishing to return back to 'normal state'. Died for pipe dream. So cruel of you to wish for him to return to World you no longer exist in.

Cruel of you to force me to live with a wish impossible to make into reality.

Without any deliberation Fuuma picked up sword and placed over own chest. Yet doing that would be no better than Kamui's wish for self destruction. No different from all nameless people who died in name of pointless self sacrifices. Would make him a hypocrite. Kamui died so he could live, even if just in name for his soul would die in same breath Kamui would. Fuuma would respect it, even of Kamui couldn't respect his wish.

Fuuma leaned over Kamui and cupped his cheek once again. No response, no recognition. He pressed lips over Kamui's. They were cold to touch.

So many things were left unspoken between us. So many things I wished for you, yet you didn't wish for yourself.

Still, I wish you wouldn't leave this world thinking you were unloved.

Kiss ended in mere seconds. Fuuma knelt up and placed sword over bloodied one; they fell into x shape. Without Kamui here there was no point of apocalypse; noone to oppose him, noone to challenge him. Noone to look forward to seeing; noone to love. No point in anything, not even in death.

Not when he had to live in Kamui's name.

Such cruel fate. But I guess it's a fitting punishemnt.

Fuuma raised up and began pacing away from the scene. He never looked back.

[allexthakatt]

The Very First Kiss 🖤

not my gif^^ GIF IS BY @oneweirdcryptid

Request: "Hi so uhhh I was wondering (if you're not busy) can you do a fem!Reader x Dan avidan with lots of fluff pls (also if you can make my prompt anonymous I will love u forever)"

I'm so happy to finally be writing about Dan again. God that man is so fucking beautiful.

Just an FYI. Ashley is NOT a thing in this universe. I will not ever put her in a one shot.

Pairing: Dan Avidan x FEM Reader! Ft. Arin and Brian!

Warnings? Pure fluff! Mutual pining.

"Look. All I'm saying is that she's really cute and I wouldn't mind having her at the office more often." Dan almost immediately regretted what came from his mouth. Now he'll never hear the end of it.

Dan, Arin, and Brian had gone out for lunch to brainstorm what could be done for future projects when the topic of Suzy's best friend came up. Y/n, a beautiful woman who's captivated Dan heart from day one, was all he could think about. I mean how could he not? Just look at her! Everything about was just so... amazing. It had been a very long time since Dan felt this way about anyone. She was so sweet to him, he just couldn't help but swoon.

"I fuckin knew it! Ive been calling it since day. One. You've had goo goo eyes for her since the day Suzy brought to the house!" Arin smirked at his long time best friend.

Dan thinks of that day often. She was invited to some party Arin and Suzy were throwing. What it was for, he can't recall. What he does remember, however, is seeing a gorgeous girl wearing a black dress and flats. Her nails long and red to go with her newly dyed fire engine red hair. He remembers just how stupid he made himself seem attempting to talk smoothly to her. But she never made him feel dumb, in fact quite the opposite. She was shorter than him, obviously, and Dan caught himself shamefully thinking of her shorter body in his lap on his couch. Since then he's fantasized about kissing her almost daily. (Not just kissing, either. He'd shamefully admit to himself.) However the fear of her rejecting him almost too paralyzing for him to even try.

"So Dan when are you gonna pull your head out of ass and ask her on a date?"

The curly haired male shakes his head. "I doubt she'd even say yes. I like having her in my life. And if she says no I could lose her all together. I'd honestly rather not risk it ya know?" Brian practically spits out his drink, trying to hold in a laugh.

"You're telling you don't see the heart eyes she sends your way all the time? You're dumber than you look, jewfro." Arin cracked a chuckle at that, deciding to add in the conversation. "He's right, Dan. She probably talks about you to Suzy just as much as you bug us about her!"

"Ha ha very funny. Well then maybe I just should walk up to her and say 'hey baby. You. Me. Pizza. Tonight. Lets do it.' Yea fucking right, Arin."

In reality, y/n would love nothing more than to have a nice date with Dan Avidan himself. She has quite the school girl crush on him (or at least that's how Suzy puts it.)

"Why not? Everyone knows she'll say yes. Even if you don't, trust me we do." Brian was trying to pep talk his friend into just doing it. I mean come on Dan is almost 42 he needs to get a girl soon. Or at least laid.

-

It had been a couple days since the lunch talk. Dan had been running the boys' words though his head non stop. Should he really just ask her out? The odds of her saying yes was getting better and worse simultaneously. So many worries and anxieties swarming through his mind constantly. But he knows he needs to do something soon. She's absolutely breathtaking- someone will swoop in if he doesn't. But what he even say?

'Hey Y/n!' -No. Too loud.

'What's up, baby?' -absolutely not. Too cocky.

'You look lonely'- that's just creepy.

What if he just doesn't think? Thinking too much will make him not do it. So what does he do? For gods sake, he's a grown man! Get it together! That's when he gets an idea and calls his best friend.

"Arin I need to know what her favorite candy is. ASAP!"

-

It was cold and rainy today. Her favorite type of day. It was days like this where she would find herself sitting near an open window with all the lights off, a stereo playing soft music as she sips some hot tea she'd prepared just minutes ago. The music playing some random song from her playlist. She couldn't be more calm than in this moment. Nothing could take her away from the calamity that is this scene.

Until a knock breaks the mood.

The young woman groans and puts her tea down, mentally cursing whoever broke her away from the state she was just in. However she couldn't be mad for long as she opens her door, seeing Dan standing on the porch, hair slightly damp and frizzy. She notes that he's also panting a little. From what, she's not aware.

"Oh, hi Dan! Come in, it's cold out here." He thanks her and tries his best to dry his feet before stepping in the home. It was so warm in there. A very calm and welcoming energy captivating the whole house. Suddenly, he doesn't feel so nervous.

"I uh... Brought these for you. I hope you like roses, that's all I could find. I know you love carnations but they didn't have any." Dan hands her the roses as well as a heart shaped box of Reese's. Her favorite candy.

"Why thank you! What's the occasion?" She can't say she's complaining. However she is confused. Although this is a very romantic gesture, y/n doesn't want to get her hopes up.

"Well I... just wanted to ask you something. I've been psyching myself up for a few days now... A-and I think I should just tell you straight up. Y/n, I can't get you out of my head. Every time I see you, all I wanna do is kiss you, hug you, or some other form of affection. And I promise I'm not a creep! I just have these real strong feelings for you... And I just gotta know... Would you feel the same? I totally understand if you don't. Just promise me if you don't we wont stop being friends. I like having you around in my life and I'm so scared of fucking this up. ...

Please. Say something."

To say Y/n was shocked would be an understatement. You can't count on all your fingers and toes how many times she'd fantasized about this. How many times she'd laid in bed and thought about a life with Dan. With Dan as hers and she as his. But no matter how many times she'd fantasized, nothing came close to how she actually feels in this moment.

"Dan... Are you being serious? Please don't tell me this is a prank." She had a hopeful look in her face. So very afraid that this was a joke or even worse: just a dream.

"Y/n I promise I'm being serious. I-I get so happy when I'm with you. You're so beautiful and funny and smart... There's a million and one things I wanna do with you. Share with you. But please just tell me if I'm in way over my head here. I just... I need to know."

Y/n did the one thing she knew would drive it home. She put her arm around his neck, pulling him close. Dan stared at her with big hopeful brown eyes. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting this." The smile on her face was proof enough for him. He pulled her even closer, relishing in her sweet scent of lavender and a hint of vanilla, the shampoo and conditioner he'd got her in her birthday a few weeks ago. "If you'll let me.. I'd really like to kiss you now." And that was it. That was all Y/n needed to have her heart practically explode out of pure excitement. The way she leaned in, waiting for him to get the hint to meet her halfway. The way she slowly closed her eyes, lips practically begging to be kissed. Dan had had enough of waiting. If he'd waited a moment longer he was sure he'd pass out.

Before she knew it, their lips connected. A whole new slur of emotions hitting them all at once. She'd only dreamt of this so many times. The feeling of his soft yet rough lips on hers mixed with his scruff and cologne, it made her dizzy with adrenaline. If he wasn't pulling her so close, she was sure her legs would give out.

Dan felt like he was in heaven. There was no way any form of drug could compare to the way her lips made him feel. Lust. Love. Excitement. Adrenaline. God, his mind was pure mush. When they finally pulled away, faces flushed and hearts pounding. Dan finally remembered the question he was originally here for.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

------------------------

THERE YOU HAVE IT! I'm so sorry this took so long. Life has been wild. As a mom and a working wife, things have gotten a little hectic.

Please send more!!

If you'd like to request you can private message me, or leave an ask! If you'd want to be tagged in future works, you need to only ask!

Luv u all 🤍🖤

[milktyama]

— ☕︎ WHO GIVES THE BEST HUGS IN JJK

synopsis: top 5 best huggers in jjk (anime only bc im not caught up to the manga yet)

a/n: this is pretty self-indulgent bc i want hugs so bad rn :(

includes: itadori yuji, inumaki toge, panda, miwa kasumi, todo aoi

genre: pure fluff <3, these are in no particular order

total wc: 886

ITADORI YUJI — wc: 210

i just can't stop thinking of that one scene at the start of the series when he hugs gojo when they went to pick up nobara

like loves rubbing his nose/face onto whoever he's hugging and he would give the tightest and warmest hugs

yuji isn’t tall or insanely muscular but his hugs are still so so warm and make you feel so safe and that’s just ASFLDKJG

and he doesn’t only give like regular hugs, he loves all kinds of hugs

like he’ll hug anything that has to do with you or anyone like he’ll hug an arm, he’ll give you a koala hug, heck he’ll do that leg hug thing when he’s feeling clingy onto you

and he doesn’t mind being dragged LMAO like that was 100% the effect he intended to go for

anyways back to face rubs

he specially adores rubbing cheeks together. he finds the plush of yours and his cheek mushing together strangely endearing and just makes him feel so close to you

he would also sometimes tickle you while you two hug and you do it back and hugs become into tickle wars but you really don’t mind until both of you get small aches and tears prickling from laughing way too much

INUNAKI TOGE — wc: 187

i think inumaki is like the perfect height to hug whether you're tall or short

hugging him would just be so easy and kinda like very natural you know?

rather than wrapping his whole arms around you, inumaki loves bending his arms upwards and place his hands around the upper area of your back. his logic? covers more surface area = more of the hug is actually taking place

ugh so cute

he also loves resting his head on your head/shoulder or when you rest your head on his head/shoulder

it feels very intimate for him and he just adores that

AND WHENEVER HE WANTS A HUG FROM YOU

he’ll do like,,,, grabby hands

BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW HE CAN’T REALLY SAY ANYHTING RIGHT so he has to motion it and,,, grabby hands

or like he would extend his arms wide open and do like jazz hands lol

he also liked smelling your hair while hugging idk why i just get a feeling that he does

inumaki likes shampoo smell!! that’s my headcanon so that’s why he likes to smell the hair of people he hugs :)

PANDA — wc: 146

i don't think i even need to say why

his hugs are just fluffy and warm and just feels like hugging those 3 meter tall teddy bears

like if you ever feel cold in the winter, hug panda and you'll literally warm up so fast

with my very limited knowledge on real pandas, they eat a lot, so they have a lot of body heat due to how much fat they have

panda would literally be a walking heater but also kinda function like a jacket because of the fur

you would love to snuggle your face into his fur and he really wouldn’t mind. in fact i think panda would be very happy and feel very soft on the inside to see how much you enjoy hugging him.

anyways yea in conclusion, panda's hugs are immaculate and you cannot change my mind no matter what

MIWA KASUMI — wc: 150

i just KNOW her hugs are just @#*%£#*$*

i'd pay to hug miwa like she looks so hugable and so sweet

like she would gently wrap her arms around whoever and then like caress their backs or their heads or the side of their arms and it's just akkdkwdkkaa

plus she deserves all the hugs :( <3

and tell her she's not useless <3333

also she would be such a cuddler when she's sleeping, like i kNOW she hugs like 3 plushies to sleep or has extra pillows JUST for hugging you know

yea i just wanna hug her <3

she also loves touching foreheads. she will make whoever she’s hugging go down to her level and rub foreheads together

and the cutest part is the person she’s hugging is just automatically magnetized to get down to her level and its not forced so its just so cute and LSKDJFK

TODO AOI — wc: 193

when he's gentle, he's GENTLE

100% gives great hugs

who wouldn't want to hug him too like i feel like todo is a great hugger because he does it so earnestly

his hugs are definitely on the like strong/secure side which can make whoever he's hugging feel very safe and secured

he wraps his arms completely surrounding the person and then hold one of his wrists to lock the hug so no one's going anywhere lmao, but yea getting hugged by his big arms would feel great

and he would relax his muscles when hugging so it doesn’t feel stiff or uncomfortable at all it’s just a big warm embrace

i also feel like if you hug him and he’s like super excited or has a lot of energy he’d def lift you up and like kinda spin you around lmao????

like 90% of the people he’d meet are like shorter/smaller than him so like it's very easy for him to just do it

no complains though it’s probably loaded with fun, but he’ll probably ask you your type while spinning and if your answer disappoints him he’ll just drop you LMAOOOO

taglist: @bokutsumie @kohi-zeri @iwaesumi @michiyonakamura @itadorisgf​ (special)

[vampirerosearin]

Say Hi To Larry (Chapter 14 1/2)

Book Title: Widowed Willow Warnings: DO NOT REPOST MY CONTENT! YOU MAY REBLOG BUT DON'T REPOST! Story Masterlist | Previous Part | Next Part

JENSEN ACKLES PLAYS ALARIC SALTZMAN

──────────────────────────────────────────

Walking up the porch, Amari knocked on the door waiting for the woman she knew was inside to open the door. After a moment, the door opened and an older black woman opened the door, “Amari, what brings you by?”

“Hi, Ms. Shelia.”

──────

“It’s not my fault she’s a bitch!”

Amari could list maybe 5 other places she’d rather be than here, walking with Caroline and Elena towards the school. Her blonde friend was complaining about their Bennett friend because she refused to give a necklace back. Amari didn’t blame her, the necklace was from her ancestor and Grams told her to keep it safe. 

“I’m confused, why are you mad at her again?” Questioned the taller teen, she was sure Caroline said something about it before judging the offended look she gave. “I kinda spaced out.”

“She stole my necklace, I gave her it and she refuses to give it back,” The blonde grabbed Amari’s arm, looping her other arm with Elena’s. Elena shook her head in amusement, “Caroline you gave it to her, you told her she could have it. You can’t just take it back.”

The blonde narrowed her eyes at Elena who raised her hands in surrender, “I tried.”

“Okay, listen to me, and listen to me clearly 'cause I’m only gonna say this once,” Amari demands, grabbing Caroline’s face and bending slightly to look her in the eye. “Be the bigger person, you’d hate it if I gave you something and then took it from you, so don’t do that to Bonnie.”

Stubborn, the slightly shorter girl turned to Elena, “Anyway, where’s Stefan?”

Amari looked to the ground, she remembered last night no matter how hard she tried not to. She’d tried getting high and even drunk, which wasn’t a good thing to do but she didn’t want to remember. Just from meeting her last night, Amari knew Lexi was an amazing person. The ringing of the bell broke her from her thoughts, “Bye Care.”

───────

Now in class, Amari noticed Stefan wasn’t there, again. Quietly sighing in disappointment, the curly brunette takes out her sketchbook to bypass the time while waiting for her new History Teacher. A gust of wind blows Amari’s hair into her face, glancing around she notices the windows are closed and there wasn’t any air strong enough to blow in through the door. Glancing around to see if anyone felt it, she sees Bonnie looking freaked out by something. Pulling out her phone, she shoots Bonnie a text.

Did you feel that

The wind? yea

“Morning, everyone,” Looking up, she sees a tall man 6’0 ft man with kind green eyes writing on the board. Alaric Saltzman, this man’s name has salt in it. She heard him sigh before he turned around glancing around at the kids, “Alaric Saltzman, mouthful I know.”

“You’ll probably want to pronounce it ‘Ala-ric’ but it’s actually ‘A-lar-ic’, alright? But you guys can just call me Ric. I’m your new history teacher,” He finishes with a warm grin, and most of the class responded with chuckles or grins of their own. History was going to be a lot better now than before.

───────

“That sounds like stalking and you should get a restraining order.”

Bonnie glares at Amari while Elena turns away to hide the laugh threatening to slip out. Not bothered by the glare, Amari pushes the food around on her tray, mindlessly continuing her rant. “I mean surely there’s a spirit cop or police station, priest station. Elena, you’re laughing but I’m being serious. Bonnie could go poof and become one with the ghost, say hi to Larry the turtle for me.”

“Amari!” Bonnie exclaimed, huffing out a chuckle and glancing between her two friends. “I’m being serious, I think I’m being haunted.”

“Boo.”

Elena shook her head, ignoring Amari’s fingers playing with her hair, and asked, “But why Emily?”

“Grams said she was a powerful witch back in the Civil War days and the necklace is actually a witch's talisman,” Bonnie said, taking the necklace off her neck and placing it on the table.

“And this all started when you got the necklace?” Elena asked, cutting Amari’s sandwich into two triangles.

“I think she’s trying to communicate with me using the necklace,” Bonnie nodded.

“She’s trying to possess you,” Amari declared, nodding her head while picking at her sandwich. She glances up at Bonnie’s terrified face, “Maybe tell your grams about it, I know you haven’t.”

“No,” the younger girl shook her head, “She’s gonna tell me to embrace it, and if what you say is true then I don’t want to embrace it. I want it to stop.”

“OoOoOOoO.” “Shut up, Amari!”

───────

“Hi.”

“Shataki fried mushrooms!” Amari yelled running away from whoever spoke before turning around and seeing a laughing Stefan. “I’m gon shove my foot so far down your throat, you’ll be shitting toenails.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” The blond assured, standing from a bench and walking towards her. Amari shakes her head, eyes trailing around his face, “You’re not staying.”

“No,” he confirmed, and she nodded looking down before looking back up. “Is Damon, you know?”

“No, I stopped myself before I could do it.” Stefan shook his head, smiling when she sighed in relief, she shuffled in place for a moment before breaking the comfortable silence, “You’re leaving leaving?”

“No, not yet,” he responded, Amari huffed rolling her eyes and slinging her bag on the ground. “Why?”

“I’m gonna back off and keep my distance, it’s the right thing to do,” Stefan replied with a shrug of his shoulders causing Amari the glare at him, “Back off from school? Or Elena and me?”

Sighing, Stefan shrugs avoiding her eyes as he spoke up, “Be angry, it’ll be easier.”

“Yeah, easier for you,” Amari glared at him, stepping forward until he was stuck between her and the bench table. “If you think you leaving is gonna protect me and Elena, then you’re a fucking idiot.”

“But then again, it’s you so I guess I should expect you to do something stupid,” She tilts her head, seeing him frown she gives him a small smile. Wrapping an arm around his waist, she hugs him close. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Stefan said, his head resting on her shoulder before lifting it to smile at her. He felt her drop her arm and reach down to grab her bag and walk away, “Bye, Sunshine.”

“Bye, Bambi.”

───────

“Hello, Damon.”

The raven-haired vampire frowned in irritation, turning away from an uncomfortable Bonnie and towards a smirking Amari. “Hi, asshole.”

“I thought I told you to leave my friends alone.” Tilting her head, Amari raised a brow and watched as Damon nodded his head side to side. “Wanna repeat of what happened when you bust into my house?”

“Not really,” Damon glared at Bonnie before disappearing, Amari walks around her friend's car to the passenger backseat. “Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

“What?”

“To my house, we’re going to my house. Holy, we need to have a movie night.”

───────

“He’s dangerous, Elena. God knows what he would’ve done if Mari wasn’t there,” Bonnie spoke, driving them home, Elena shook her head as she looked up from examining Amari’s English homework. “You need to stay as far away from him as possible.”

“I thought we already established that when he hurt Care and broke into our house,” Amari spoke from the back seat, she was half paying attention and half doing her algebra homework. “I fucking hate this, I’m boxing whoever added letters to math.”

Amari slid to the side, almost slamming her head on the door and drawing a line across her paper. Bonnie had swerved the car to the right, parking it beside a field. “Well damn Bonnie!”

Bonnie climbed out of the car, mumbling an apology, she yanked the necklace off her neck and threw it into the field before climbing back into the car. Amari leaned forward, her brows raised as far as they could go, “You okay, baby?”

“Now I am,” Bonnie answered, giving her friends a grin, shifting her braids out of her face as she sighed in relief, “Can’t believe I didn’t do that sooner.”

“Aren’t you worried what your grams is gonna say?” Elena asked, handing Amari her homework and taking the algebra homework, huffing when she sees the giant line.

“Grams isn't the one being haunted by a 150-year-old ghost, now is she?”

“Fair, but knowing her, she’d probably find a way to set it on fire and kill it again,” Amari spoke, chuckling at the snort from her friends. 

Now driving slowly, Bonnie glanced back at Amari, “Grams told me you went by her house last night. I guess I was sleep, I would’ve come down and spoke.”

“It’s fine,” Amari reassured, placing her Art project rubric in her book bag. Elena glanced back, handing her Algebra homework to her, “What’d you even go over for?”

Movements slowing to a stop, Amari thought about an answer. She could tell them the truth or she could lie, she chose the former. “Well, I needed help with what happened yesterday.”

───────Flashback───────

Inside Shelia’s house, Amari sits in the living room waiting for her to come back with tea. “You have a lovely home, Ms. Shelia. I miss coming over.”

Hearing a close chuckle, Amari turns her head and sees the older woman placing a tray with tea on the coffee table. “I remember you chasing the girls around my house. Even though you knew you might have an asthma attack, you still tried to play with them. Always making sacrifices.”

Amari smiled, looking down into the cup of tea. She looks up when Shelia sits next to her, “What’s wrong, dear?”

“Yesterday, something happened… to my friend,” Amari started, placing the cup down and playing with her fingers. Feeling the dark-skinned woman rubbing her back, she continued. “Right before it happened, I heard someone tell me to help her, but there was no one around.”

“When I went outside, I saw her-” Shifting in her seat, Amari leans her head into her hands. “I was too late. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“I have a feeling I know what’s going on,” Grams said, smiling when Amari glanced at her. She sighed softly, running her fingers through the teen's hair. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, I know Bonnie told you about her and I being witches. I’ll see if I can find something in my grimore.”

Sheila wrapped her arm around Amari, pulling her into her side and leaning their heads together, “I’ll try to find anything I can. I’ll reach out to some old friends if I have to.”

─────Flashback Ends──────

“So, grams is helping you find out what’s up with you?” Bonnie asked, pulling into their neighborhood while glancing at Elena who was staring off into space. Amari shrugged, looking out the window and sighing, “Yeah, she told me not to get my hopes up though. She didn’t want me to be disappointed if she couldn’t find anything.

“Well, I’ll help her find something,” Bonnie promised, looking in the mirror to look Amari in the eye. Elena turned around to smile at her as well, “I’m not sure if there’s anything I can do, but I’ll be here for you either way..”

Giving her friends a smile, Amari turns away a few seconds after they look away. She sighs as she slowly rubs her stomach, it was growling, loud. She’s surprised the pair in the front hadn’t heard it, she’d just have to eat something small when they got home.

──────────────────────────────────────────

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[todoroki-waifu]

Atsumu x F! Reader

Scenario: When you try to subtly confess to Atsumu.

Word Count: 1,970

Genre: Fluff and humor.

Warnings: Cursing, female reader, and some OOC-ness (maybe?). My first time writing for Atsumu and the rest of the Inarizaki team. 

————

“I get that she’s the most beautiful here, but we are here to check out the art, too.” Atsumu jumps slightly at a voice and hand on his shoulder. 

“‘Samu!" 

"Could you be any more obvious?" 

"I-I wasn’t doing anything!” Atsumu huffs, a blush attacking his face as he shakes off his brother’s hand. 

“Why don’t you ask her out already before someone else does?" 

"I’m working on it!" 

"Hey, who’s that with __(y/n)?” Suna chimes into their conversation, nodding to where you had been standing and admiring a portrait. The two see a man conversing with you, both of you very engaged in whatever topic that was being discussed. He brought out a small electronic device, looking a bit nervous as he showed you the screen. 

“He’s probably going to ask for her number.” Osamu replies indifferently, but did a quick glance at his sibling.

“What?!” Atsumu immediately leaves the group.

“Wait, but doesn’t that guy-” Aran questions, but Kita cuts him off while the others hold in their chuckles.

“Let him figure it out." 

——-

"So if you put your-” While you were listening to the young man who approached you, a familiar face made himself known.

“Hey, buddy, is there a problem over here?” Atsumu suddenly inserts himself in between you and the stranger. He stands tall, looming over the shorter male.

“N-no, there is no problem.”

“Atsumu-kun, he was just-” You placed a hand on his arm and tried to explain the situation.

“Don’t worry, __(y/n)-chan. I got this.” Atsumu gently pushes you behind him to hide you.

“Was there something you needed from her?” He continues. 

“No, si-sir. I-I was only trying to-”

“Well, if you ain’t got any business with her, I suggest you beat it.” The blonde twin glares at the male hiding behind his black device. He smirks victoriously, watching the scared stranger run away. He turns around to find you with your arms crossed and an incredulous look. 

“Why were you so mean to him?”

“Mean? What do you mean? Wasn’t he trying to hit on you?”

“What? No! He works here! He’s a staff member." 

"But didn’t he have his phone out to get your number?”

“Get my..-you mean his Ipad? He wasn’t trying to get my number, he was asking for my email so he could send a survey for us to fill out on how satisfied we were with the staff and the place." 

Atsumu had no answer, processing what he did to the innocent and diligent worker and to you. You must think he’s a crazy idiot for sure. 

"As funny and adorable that was, you’re coming with me to apologize.” You grabbed his hand, dragging Atsumu to find the man who he wrongly yelled at. 

“Yes..” He pouts, but obeys. You’re zipping through the crowd until you finally spot your target.

“He’s with someone else, but we’re waiting until he’s finished and I’m not letting go until you do." 

"I-I wasn’t gonna run away.” His cheeks heat up at your clasped hands, avoiding your gaze. 

“Just in case.” You continued to look forward, __(e/c) eyes too shy to meet his brown ones. 

“Thank you though,” You break the short pause, “I know it was a misunderstanding, but it’s nice to know that someone has my back.”

Atsumu directs his head to you, but is unable to see your face since it’s turned away with your finger busying itself with a strand of your hair. 

“Of course. Always.” Your heart skips at his soft reply. You feel a gentle squeeze on your hand and respond similarly, fighting back the smile that was eager to present itself.

“Oh look! He’s done. Let’s go.” You gently pull him towards the staff worker once he has finished speaking to the other customers. You’re about to release his hand, but Atsumu keeps a tight grip. Probably he’s nervous about admitting to his mistake, you assume. 

So you hold his hand just as tight, figuring he needs the support. You knew how much of a big baby he was.

But really, Atsumu was using this as an excuse to hold you just a bit longer. His fingers felt right in between yours. 

——-

You managed to take some great pictures wherever it was allowed, but the artwork that forbade photos, you captured in your memory. After touring around the entire museum, you and the boys were starting to feel hungry, so everyone agreed to eat at the nearest restaurant.

You saw a few people scattered outside and you volunteered to ask the host how long the wait would be. Osamu steps behind his brother and lightly taps the back of his knees with his.

“Remember, that guy works here." 

"Shut up, 'samu! I know that.” Atsumu huffs, red cheeks puffing out slightly as his friends laugh loudly. They stop as soon as you near them, telling the boys that there was a table open that could accommodate your party.

You sat in between the Miya twins which made you both nervous and happy. Your crush on Atsumu was getting worse every day yet you didn’t hate the feeling. You distracted yourself by looking through the menu, all of you deciding to share a couple appetizers before choosing your individual meals. 

“What are you getting, __(y/n)-chan?” Atsumu asks, brown eyes looking at you as he lowers his menu.

“Hmmmm, I’m not sure yet. I’m caught between number 8 and 9.” You point to the items on the main course list. 

“Oh! I was going to get the number 8. How about I get 8 and you get the 9 and we can just share? That way, we can get a taste of both. I’m curious about number 9 also.”

“Really? You wouldn’t mind?" 

"Yea, of course I wouldn’t mind!” He grins, folding the menu before placing it on the table. You copy him and wait for the server to collect your orders. 

You then bring out your phone, taking pictures of the boys and the restaurant’s interesting decor. Despite your school’s motto, you liked to keep the memories. 

“Ne, Atsumu-kun, mind if I borrow your phone? Your camera is better than mine.” Your cell phone was a few years old, but Atsumu just replaced his and you were waiting to upgrade yours. Part of you was glad that you hadn't yet because you were going to use this opportunity to see how he feels about you. 

“Sure. Here ya go.” He hands you his phone. 

“Thanks!” You start taking pictures of yourself, really impressed with the photo quality. 

“Take a selfie with me.” You change the camera view as you hold out your hand in front of you and Atsumu.

“You’re so far! Get close to me like you actually like me.” You say jokingly as you hear a few, muffled snickers around the table. Atsumu stutters a response, but you interrupt him when you start counting from three. 

“Ready? Smile!” You take a few shots before looking at each one closely.

“Yeck, I’m deleting that one. I look gross in there.” You weren’t satisfied with how you smiled and your eyes looked like they were in mid blink. 

“What? Don’t say that. You’re gorgeous!” Atsumu looks up at you after he watches you remove one of the many pictures. You blush at his statement, dodging his stare.

“Oh, ummm. ..t-thank you." 

"You don’t gotta thank me. It’s the truth.” Atsumu murmurs, but it’s coherent enough where you could understand him.

“Get ready with your orders. The waiter is coming.” Kita sees the server walking towards your table. You went first and while everyone else was focused on the waiter, you quickly dragged your finger around on the phone screen. You immediately closed what you were doing and handed Atsumu back his phone. 

Your heart was beating fast, but you kept a calm smile on your face as you casually made conversation with the volleyball team. None of the guys knew about your crush, afraid that they would make fun of you. Not that you believed they would, but you weren’t comfortable telling anyone yet. 

Except for today. 

You finally were going to tell one person about your crush and that person was Atsumu. You planned everything out for a while, thinking of every possible situation that could happen and how you would approach it. You were surprised at how smoothly your idea was going, but that made you even more uneasy. 

But you already made your move and hoped that he would notice the little message in his phone. 

———

Dinner was both fun yet stressful. Every time Atsumu would check his phone, your heart would jump at the thought of him seeing what you put. But he made no reaction so you assumed he had yet to see it. 

And you were fine with that. You’d prefer if he read it at home instead of in a public place. 

Everyone went their separate ways after the restaurant except you and the Miya twins. Your house wasn’t too far from theirs so they walked most of the way with you. Once you were close enough, you waved goodbye to the brothers.

“Bye! See you soon! And don’t forget to send me those pictures later, okay, Atsumu-kun?" 

"Yeah, I will! Bye, __(y/n)-chan!” Atsumu waved back before turning away with Osamu.

——–

Unfortunately, he never sent those pictures. He must have forgotten, but with how many days has passed, you believed he probably felt awkward with the little note you put. 

If he saw it. He never acted any differently when you saw him at school.

Maybe he never did see it? But you were too afraid to ask so you were just going to live quietly with your heartache. 

——-

“Oh, shoot! I forgot to send those pics to __(y/n)-chan!” Atsumu says loudly while he and Osamu walk home from practice.

“You haven’t sent them yet? It’s been a week.” Osamu shakes his head. 

“I forgot! I was too busy thinking of a way to tell her I like her. I gotta make sure it’s perfect.” The setter takes out his phone and taps on the photo album icon. As he selects and scrolls through the photos, his eyes become rounded at one particular image. 

It was a selfie of you and him, sitting close, cheek to cheek as you both smile happily. What made him pause was the heart drawn over the two of you with the words ’yes or no?’ written at the bottom.

“Ahh! ’s-samu! Look, look!” He shows his phone to his brother. “I think __(y/n)-chan likes me back! She put this on our picture!”

As soon as Osamu sees what’s on the screen, his eyes also widen slightly then suddenly smacks his brother at the back of his head. “Dumbass! That photo has been sitting there for that long already?”

“I told you already, I forgot! And she never said anything! Other than to send the pictures after we ate- Oh my God, 'samu, I really am a dumbass!” Realization hit Atsumu harder than his brother’s slap.

“I knew that a long time ago. Now, why are you still here talking to me? Shouldn’t you be talking to __(y/n) instead?" 

"You’re right! I gotta text her!” Atsumu’s hands were working fast in trying to find your text message conversation. Before Osamu could even make a snide comment, Atsumu becomes aware of a better alternative to communicate with you. 

———

On your way home, you received multiple texts from Atsumu, all saying the same thing.

Yes!

Yes!!

Yes!

Yes!!!!

’The hell? Yes to what?’ Right when you were about to reply, you saw an incoming call from the setter who made your heart skip a beat daily. 

“Hello?” You answer. 

“Yes! __(y/n), yes! I want to be your boyfriend!”

[svenotes]

drabble #1

❝ the one where your one night stand turns out to be your boss ❞

[ PAIRING ] : jeon jungkook x reader | bff!hoseok x reader

[ GENRE ] : office au (not the tv show lol) + crack, smut (mentioned)

[ WORD COUNT ] : 1.7k

[ WARNINGS ] : mentions of sex, a lot of banter, jungkook only appears for like two seconds so this is more best friend!hoseok and oc bickering 

[ AUTHOR’S NOTE ] : i’m trying to get back into writing, so here’s some funny banter w plot

drabbles | masterlist | wattpad cross post | ao3 cross post

“Besides, when have—!”

“No.”

Hoseok frowns, eyes narrowing on you. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

Going through your mental checklist, you neatly place the documents in your hands on your boss’s desk. Today has been a hectic day at the office. It was a miracle that you even managed to finish everything by the end of your shift. On days where you can barely tell the difference between left and right, you found yourself clocking extra hours. You suppose you have Hoseok to thank for that. By some grace of God, he was assigned on the same project as you and as annoying as your friend could be, he also knew when to keep things professional.

He’s already set to leave for the day, waiting for you to finish up. Since the days are getting shorter, he’s made the habit of walking you to your car after work. He stares at you with a dubious look in his eyes, and you hold it for a moment before you walk towards your cubicle to pick up your keys.

“I know you,” you start, grabbing your purse and keys. “I know what you’re going to say because I know you.”

Hoseok scoffs at that, crossing his arms over his chest. A part of you hopes he stops his questioning and drops the topic altogether. However, you know Hoseok. Dropping a subject isn’t his specialty, even if the world demands that he should.

As you try to leave your office, Hoseok blocks your path. “Y/N.”

You keep a straight face. “Hoseok.”

“I am your best friend—!”

“Debatable.”

He ignores you and continues, “And I love you—!”

“Also debatable,” you murmur.

“—which is why I cannot for the life me understand why you would keep secrets about your sex life from me.”

He catches the attention of a few of your co-workers. You brush them off with a smile, wishing them good-night before you pull Hoseok inside an empty office by his loosened tie. He lets out a choked cough as you drag him in and shut the door behind him, keeping your conversation away from prying ears.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Hoseok hisses, rubbing his neck. “I just want some details about the new guy you’re screwing. How’d you meet? How long has this been going on? Why was I never informed you were dating someone?”

You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. “For the millionth time, I am not dating anyone. And there’s nothing to know—!”

“You’re lying! Again!” He points a finger in your face. “You left the bar with someone on the night of Ellie’s birthday and you’ve been secretive ever since.” He narrows his eyes. “Who are you hiding?”

You swat his fingers away, brows furrowed. “I’m an open book. I have nothing to hide.”

“Bullshit. You're as open as Yoongi.”

“How is Yoongi?” You ask, not-so-subtly deflecting. “It's been a while since I’ve seen him. You need to stop keeping him all to yourself. I miss my ex-roommate.”

Hoseok and you have known each other for as long as you’ve been working for the company. He sat in the cubicle beside yours and over time you became good friends. Yoongi, your roommate at the time, stopped by the office to drop off some lunch and met Hoseok before you could introduce them.

At first, the two despised each other, their personalities crashing — Hoseok too bright, and carefree and Yoongi more mellow and conserved. However, things began to shift between them over time and now Hoseok walks around with a ring in his jacket pocket at all times.

Hoseok’s cheeks dust pink. “I haven't proposed yet if that's what you're wondering.”

“Just let me know who’s best man I’m going to be,” you laugh.

“None of ours, ‘cause I’m going to ban you from the wedding—!”

Your eyes widen, appalled. “Why—!”

“Who are you dating?”

Your mouth clasps shut, glaring at him. “No one.”

It’s not a lie, Jungkook and you are not dating. Your relationship with him was far from romantic. However, Hoseok doesn’t know that and you’re not sure how you're supposed to tell him. Especially when it seems as though your past is trying to relive itself in the form of another man. You worked hard to move on from when you fell in love with your co-worker — you’ve worked so hard to put the past behind you and keep your professional life separate from your personal. Yet, it’s as if all of that hangs by a thread, threatening to slip through your fingers because history is trying to repeat itself.

How were you supposed to know your kind-of one-night stand was the youngest heir of Jeon Enterprises? You wouldn’t have dared to take a bite of the forbidden fruit if you knew.

A headache forms at the very thought of Hoseok’s lecture once you explain to him you unintentionally fucked your boss. It’s why you’ve been avoiding him and deflecting his questions throughout the day. You sigh, meeting his eyes.

What Hoseok doesn’t know cannot hurt him, right?

His eyes narrow on you, mouth opening for a rebuttal, but the knock on the door silences him. Your attention turns towards the door and you forget to breathe at the sight of the man at the door.

Jungkook's eyes immediately find yours, a small smile tugging on his lips. He looks sweet — innocent, even. Nothing like the man who feasts on you like fine cuisine. Your breath gets caught in your throat when you vividly remember the sinful things he can do with those lips — that mouth. You push the thoughts to the side, mirroring his smile despite the rapid pace of your heartbeat.

“Mr. Jeon,” Hoseok speaks first, clearing his throat.

Jungkook's eyes widen a fraction as he finds Hoseok standing a few feet from you, mirroring the shocked expression you wore moments ago. As if he didn’t even notice Hoseok’s presence.

“Please, call me Jungkook,” he starts, sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “There’s no need for formalities.”

Hoseok simply nods. “Right. Jungkook.”

“I — uh,” you clear your throat, ignoring the heat that rises to your cheeks as Hoseok's scrutinizing gaze flickers between the two of you. “Did you need anything?”

“Ah,” Jungkook’s eyes flicker towards Hoseok. “Nothing in particular. I was going around trying to get to know the team better. You just seemed preoccupied earlier and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I thought I’d catch you now.”

“Oh,” you say, stupidly.

“We were was just about to head home,” Hoseok adds, glancing between the two of you. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

"I see,” Jungkook hums and his lips curl into a frown momentarily. “It was nice meeting you today. I look forward to working with you both.”

You hold his gaze for a moment before you respond, “Yea, likewise.”

“Me too,” Hoseok deadpans.

Swallowing, you ignore the look Hoseok sends you. It’s clear, he knows; he's put the pieces together. You will the heat in the apples of your cheeks to dissipate as you keep your composure.

“Goodnight.” Jungkook nods at Hoseok before returning his attention to you. “I’ll see you later.”

“Night.”

As he leaves, his gaze lingers on you for a second too long before he walks away. You let out a breath of air you didn’t realize you were holding, hand resting against your thundering heart. Hoseok waits for the door to shut and for Jungkook to round the corner before—!

“I’m not going to lie,” he begins, leaning against the desk, “that was painful to watch.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re fucking him.” It wasn't a question.

“We slept together a few times,” you sigh, pressing your fingers against your temple. “He said he worked at his father’s company, but I didn’t know his father was CEO of Jeon Enterprises. It didn’t even piece together that he was the Jungkook our team manager was talking about until I saw him this morning.”

He lets your words sink in, humming as he studies you. “He was totally gonna ask to fuck you tonight.”

“Shut up.” You throw your keys at him, but he catches it with ease. “We’re… supposed to meet tonight.”

He raises a brow. “To fuck?”

“Mhm.”

You’re supposed to meet tonight for a date, but Hoseok already knows too much. Telling him you decided to humour Jungkook for a date will only worsen your headache. Mainly because Hoseok will tell you the only reason you’re humouring him is since you like him.

Only two weeks have passed since you first met and look at the mess it’s already created. What should’ve been strictly a fuck-buddy relationship has turned for the worst.

“You probably shouldn’t.”

“I know.” You slouch, defeated as you lean against the desk beside him. “I know.”

“Wow — wait.” Hoseok’s shock turns into a frown. “You bailed on me Sunday night for mediocre dick, didn’t you?”

“Not mediocre dick,” you sigh, reminiscing the last time you went over. Although, it doesn’t last for long — “Ow! Hoseok, what the fuck?”

“That's for bailing on me,” he snorts before flicking your forehead again. “And that was for telling me his dick game is good.”

You roll your eyes, scoffing, but that doesn’t stop the rush of memories from last weekend. Limbs entangled between sheets, hands grazing every inch of your bodies and lips twined with yours. Your body still remembers the comfort of his warmth as he brought you to euphoria over and over again. A mere memory makes your knees weak.

Your phone buzzes in your hands and you suppress your groan.

[ 6:14 pm ] jungkook (dude w the nice dick): you still coming over?

You don’t realize Hoseok leans over to read your text until —!

“Booty-call.”

Flicking his forehead, you ignore Jungkook’s message. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Alright,” he says, following after you. He keeps quiet until you’ve both entered the elevator, away from other’s prying ears. “Are you going to visit him tonight?”

“I don’t know.”

Your thoughts are torn between right and wrong — your career and pleasure. Meeting him tonight and ending things would be the right decision, but you’re not entirely sure you would be able to avoid his advances if you tried.

You’re screwed.

It’s been long since you crossed the Gates of Eden and sunken your teeth into the divine fruit, and now you’re addicted to the taste.

You are so incredibly screwed.

all rights reserved © 2021 svenotes

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE

a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem

this is for @what-a-creative-username​ bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺

and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo

anon:

- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?

- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends

OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH

so basically yea

as seen in a lot of the parts,

oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you

like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females

maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?

the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him 

yanno the works

yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him

ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?

hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that

so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him

like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you

he did it all

it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms

because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU

ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone

he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand

oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon

this brings us here in the gym today

‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’

‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’

the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side

‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’

he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him

god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh

so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him

‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’

you bargained but he gasped

‘what?! then what’s the point of-’

‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’

you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you

‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’

he was still fussy but he accepted it

oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?

they fall for boys who give them everything, right?

nope

so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that

idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho

his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food

‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’

he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you

‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’

im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two

oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened

he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier

your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up

but your shock morphed into being upset

‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’

but he waved you off with a smile

‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’

you rolled your eyes

‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’

he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough

‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’

he growled softly

wHAT iS hE sAYinG

you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity

‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’

you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes

‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’

you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop

‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’

he whispered and you blinked

‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’

he nodded eagerly

‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’

then he found himself in a bookstore with you

it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together

the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin

he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out

‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’

you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom

your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry

oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before

so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped

it was so,,, domestic 

seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book  on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words

it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?

the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked 

the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own

you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder

‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’

he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle

‘you read poetry?’

you whispered and oikawa chuckled

‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’

he reasoned and you laughed

‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’

‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’

you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck

‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’

oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip

‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’

he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest

‘so not fair oikawa-san’

you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles

‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’

he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter

‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’

you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:

‘but what a beautiful mess you are’

okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!

once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer

‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’

you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk

oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks

he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space

‘sure!’

the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above

however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position

‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’

he asked and you gave him an obvious look

‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’

your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him

you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before

except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it

you noticed it all

‘that right there, its the big dipper!’

you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding

‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’

he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you

‘really,, pretty’

you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you

‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’

this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes

‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’

he said and you nodded

you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created

‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’

you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic

so he covered it up with his own teasing 

‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’

you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks

‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’

you pouted and turned away

‘never mind’

oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks

the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt

and you loved every moment of it

after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted

it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning

yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??

you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you

whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could

the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door

or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out

‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’

you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand

‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’

you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room

tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this

he was happy

you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love

but,,,,,,,,,

it didnt last long

albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you

it was,,, awkward

maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato

forget potato, youre now a tomato

but even his touches and affections were now limited

restricted

like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning

but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly

‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’

oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym

god you felt like you were slapped in the face

you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly

was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?

usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you

no, you were just,,,,

overreacting

right?

yea, just,,,

overreacting

iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression

you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice

big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch

he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back

‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’

he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes

‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’

you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them

but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions

while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him

oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too

‘oi, what the hell did you do’

there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like

oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face

‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’

‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’

oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth

he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too

god hes so dumb

but he,,, was going through stuff right now

it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in 

and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house

okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(

it certainly brought him pain

this was what he wanted though, right?

he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls

but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings

oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh

initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet

this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you

and by god, he was so scared

he wanted to run away

because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person 

he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart

he didnt want that responsibility and burden

it was too risky

oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer

you would be the one hit with the blast the most

maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself

it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him

the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face

can you imagine the irony?

the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away

.......

practice was,,, suffocating? 

the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same

oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried

did you both fight?

what happened?

when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you

‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’

makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing

but they were surprised when he shrugged

‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’

if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen

you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,

‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’

that answer didnt bother you

it was his smile

the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you

now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls

what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm

they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you

you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles

he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym

you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky

‘the sky is very pretty today’

he complimented but it wasnt heard by you

you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face

‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’

he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds

you scrunched your nose and scoffed

‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’

you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers

mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above

‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’

it felt all muddled

there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand

‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’

he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy

‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’

you blanched

‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’

mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear

‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’

you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team

but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker

leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym

oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you, 

more specifically,

you

he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head

yes this was what it was supposed to be

you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile

he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault

no

he will stop that from happening way before it would occur

he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up

it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,

he wants you away from him

oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most

dear god was it laughable

after practice was finished,

you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there

these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts

if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,

it was not knowing why 

that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories 

did you chew too loudly when you ate?

were you boring and not as fun as the others?

was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?

has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?

that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear

throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you

but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there

you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace

but ofc 

hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face

quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears

you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops

‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’

he chuckled

you took a shaky breath and wiped your face

‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’

you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back

‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’

you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued

‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’

you nodded, laughing weakly

‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’

but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope

‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’

the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it

GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!

BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF

all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his-

‘y/n?’

you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you

kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look

‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’

kunimi started but kindaichi snapped

‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’

you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm

‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’

‘but clearly not because look at you!’

he shouted and you flinched 

kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor

‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’

he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion

was it obvious?

was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?

nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit

youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal

but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes

as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway, 

you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom

and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you

despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows

he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside

‘oikawa-senpai~~’

she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist 

your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact

through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead

please dont go to her

please

stay with me

dont go

but he went in anyways

------

that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore

as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now

everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage

you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it

there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most

you were easily led on

he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile

he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another

kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions

even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention

you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him

‘what’

he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern

‘uh-i-are you okay?’

he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways

‘never better’

you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit

your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing

‘whats wrong with all of you’

you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm

‘cmere. i missed you’

he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side

‘why-’

‘he told me what happened’

iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms

‘w-what?’

iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall

he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins

‘you-you are a piece of shit!’

he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes

‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’

iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor

oikawa was crying

not from the beating

but from his regrets

god he knew he messed up

he shouldnt have done it

but he did

iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa

‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’

he hissed 

oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest

‘im so scared’

he sobbed

‘im so scared, iwa-chan’

his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries

‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’

he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair

‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’

‘how could you tell she-’

‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’

even iwa flinched

‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’

there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?

‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’

his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration

‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’

he shrieked

thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown

‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’

iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest

oikawa tooru was having a panic attack

he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry

‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’

iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it

however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you

iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug

but he whispered something in your ear

‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’

you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about

he mustve known what happened but hes defending him

you clenched your jaw and looked away

‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’

you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes

you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities

you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself

but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip

your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second

‘what happened to you’

you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you

his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you

this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it

he missed hearing you

his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on

the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye

your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face

‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’

you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back

‘it was iwa-chan’

he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow

‘what? why did he-’

then you froze

iwa knew

and he beat oikawa up for it

he fought his best friend for it

and iwa didnt look fazed at all

despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising

yet why was he so clean

it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back

no

you must stop

youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before

however

oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand

‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’

he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now

the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach

‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’

he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear

oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door

it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation

it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment

‘i fcked up, y/n’

your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor

‘i messed up so bad’

he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath

‘oika-’

you made a move to turn around but he stopped you

‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’

he cried and you nodded

oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting

‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’

you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes

‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’

when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him

fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression

‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’

you seethed

your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry

‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’

you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking

his world was now falling apart

he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment

‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’

you whined and punched his shoulder at each word

‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’

you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms

it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck

‘im so sorry’

he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist

you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying 

after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping

‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’

he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter

‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’

and by god did he become selfish

it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him

YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY

natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it

‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’

he promised and you laughed

you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling

you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it

then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him

‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’

then graduation came

of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day

you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before

then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you

the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands

it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present

for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki

oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter

you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say

until you softly grabbed his hand

‘come in. i want,,, to talk’

you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out

it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known

right?

you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed

FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS

ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?

oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side

‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’

he asked

but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor

‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’

you finally met his eyes

then he knew

oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder

‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’

‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’

KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?

OKAY

-----

oikawa was running in the airport

despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside

the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside 

when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career

they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past

hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends

‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’

he joked and hinata laughed

‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’

the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you 

‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’

he mumbled and hinata nodded

‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’

the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid

‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’

then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar

‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’

oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment

there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan

he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full

but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself

it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were

iwaizumi

oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call

he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up

‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’

‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’

of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years

‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’

‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’

he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly 

how did he figure out

‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’

‘please! dont!’

he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him

‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’

‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’

oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone

iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart

poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much

‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’

but of course,

oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision

the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him

oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)

‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’

the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time 

the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on

what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated

would you let him in?

would you even want to see him?

would you punch him?

would you cry?

he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump

‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’

the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face

oikawa was stunned

was this the right apartment?

did iwaizumi trick him?

but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell

similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked

‘y-y/n? h-hey!’

he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there

you were hyperventilating inside

how did he find you?

why is he here?

does he know?

‘mama? who’s that oji?’

the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son

you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly

‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’

yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room

once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator

‘would you like some tea before you go?’

you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head

it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him

as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside

his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear

this was where you lived

with your son

who was his son too

there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier

it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes

jesus, he was beautiful

‘yozora. thats his name’

you said, noticing him staring at the picture

KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!

‘night sky’

oikawa whispered

the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you

‘n-nice place’

he stuttered out

you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup

‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’

you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive

‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’

‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’

he visibly flinched

calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing

‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’

you let out a humorless chuckle

a scoff

then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes

‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’

out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea

‘nothing’

you whispered

he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry

but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’

‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’

he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself

the dry laugh you let out made him fidget

‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’

you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him

you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back

but you still invited him in anyways

oikawa snapped his head up

‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’

‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’

‘but why did you keep him from me?’

he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why

‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’

‘mama?’

a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him

oikawa yozora was exactly like his father

from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes

KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!

he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son

um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me

so oikawa was right

yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you

yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away

sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child

but you kept him because he means the world to you

and the world he holds are in his eyes

‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’

he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you

his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw

if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs

he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level

‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’

he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him

‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’

yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms

‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’

your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on

you kept his last name

you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky

my god, you are so,,, 

‘--the book. oji? do you?’

he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder

tooru blinked and looked at him

‘huh?’

‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’

not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him

the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted

‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’

tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch

the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’

‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’

tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off

‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’

he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong

that book was oikawa’s

the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son

you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying

‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’

you fussed and sat down next to oikawa

yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room

GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON

‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’

yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa

‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’

he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer

‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’

you couldnt even believe what was going on right now

not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him

you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first

‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’

OKAY THAT WAS IT

YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA

out of shock, you slapped him across the face

causing yanno what happened

oikawa screamed

a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈

ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

[riiza]

Random Jean Headcanons I thought of for you (esp on this very special day which is your birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN💕) @cookiefics / @fangirlingbase hope u like it :,)

Never done this before and posted my work so I really hope if anyone who sees this enjoys it!🥺 (u encouraged me to write out from my notes 💀) I also have a new tumblr fanfic which is @levisgirll :,)

Jean Kirstein x reader Modern AU

- I can imagine jean would love being around someone who is a like shorter than him. It will make him feel that he can protect you, help you and most importantly make you feel safe with him cause that’s important to him.

- Whenever you guys go shopping and you can’t reach something, he will rush by your side so QUICKLY to reach it and get it for you. He will give it to you with his dorky face while smiling and blushing and saying “Here you go love, do you need me to get you anything else!?”

- When you guys go to a concert/festival , he would pick you up if you can’t see anything and let you sit on his shoulders. He does that because he also lowkey wants to show you how strong he is to carry you andddd wanna show off his girl (which is you (; )

- If you guys went to the same university, he would wait for you everyday outside and you guys would walk to university and he would hold your hands to make them warm. (Sometimes he would surprise you with some matcha milk tea from your favorite bubble tea shop!)

- When it’s exam week, he would book like a study room for the both of you and throughout the study session he would cheer you to go on, but as you are taking notes and listening to music you will catch him gazing into your eyes as they lit under the sunlight and he would say in a low tone “you are so beautiful...O-Oh I mean you have pretty eyes that is all!!” And he looks down at his own notes, all messed up and blushing. You just chuckle and smile at him cause he clearly likes you.

- In long train rides, you would lay on his shoulder and sleep and he would play with your hands, (gently and carefully though so he does not wake you up)

- During university lectures he would see you sit with your friends (Eren, Armin...etc) and jean would go to your social media accounts and randomly like your posts just to get your attention during class. (Please after lecture give this guy some attention and hug him-)

- If you ever get sick, he would come and check up on you and give you so many snacks and even lots of paracetamols, and he would sit by your side. This guy would get so close to you and as you sleep he would give you surprise kisses on your side cheek to the point he catches your cold and you both get sick. “Jean I swear you kept your distance from me, how did you even caught my cold?” , “Haha...I have a weak immune system...yeah, that’s it!”

- I don’t know why but I lowkey feel like if you guys are in a relationship he would act all classy with you and when he holds your hand, he would take it near to his lips and kiss it softly. That would make you blush like crazy cause it would sometimes be in public.

- If you prank him, he is the type who would completely believe you and not even DOUBT a thing every damn time you prank him. When he realizes it’s a prank he starts to get annoyed but eventually laughs with you. Then you both start laughing together and decide to prank one of your other friends (definitely Eren).

- After growing fond of you, he decides to confess his love and feelings to you and probably will start off giving you a love letter ? He writes literally everything about why he loves you and all the times you have made him happy. He feels like a confession sayin “i love you” won’t be enough, so he wants you to first read his long ass letter then at the end of the letter he tells you to meet up somewhere and that’s when he shows his true love and feelings towards you (he is also ready to get turned down cause he knows you are rare & special asf)

well that’s all!! I hope you enjoy it and anyone who reads it. If you do like it, leave a like then :,) (never knew there would be a moment I would post the headcanons I had in mind but yea I don’t think I will do it again cause I’m shy 😭)

[zmalkarnar1]

What about us? Oikawa x Male Reader

Despite having to be at work at 6am on Monday, spent all Sunday night writing this up. Anyone else unable to get a wink of sleep when an idea gets stuck in their head?

h/c hair color, d/n dogs name, d/t dog type, n/n nickname

Angsty. Also SPOILERS from the manga. If you haven’t read the manga and are only on the anime, there are spoilers ahead. Sorry.  Also pretty long.

What about us?

The snow gently fell towards the ground. Y/n felt a shiver run through his body, but despite the breeze, y/n enjoyed winter and the blanket of snow that covered the city. Indeed, the way it reflected the light never ceased to amaze him.

The h/c was pulled out of his trance by d/n, pulling forcibly on the leash, eager to get to the park and the lure of freedom to run. Y/n gave his dog a quick pat on the head and resumed his stroll towards the park.

He wasn’t the only one out. New years preparation had people shopping, decorating, visiting shrines, and in general enjoying the festive air with friends and family. However, y/n was content enjoying the fresh air that filled his lungs with each breath on his own. Continuing his walk to the city park in peace and quiet y/n sighed in content, d/n pulling on the leash again, wishing for y/n to move just a little bit faster. And when a shrill voice called out to him, y/n momentarily wished that he did indeed move faster. 

“Y/n-chan, is that you!?”

He turned his head towards the voice, recognizing it as his heart skipped a beat.

Tooru? But isn’t he in Argentina? 

“Y/n-chan, it is you!” He called, running across the street to greet his old classmate. 

Oikawa came in for a hug, but rather than meeting y/n he found a d/t leaping up at him. D/n, seeing a chance to make a new friend, and being the attention whore he was, hoped to receive pets and scratches that y/n, at times, can be stingy on. At least from d/n’s point of view. 

Oikawa stumbled as the dog leapt at him again, licking Oikawa’s face. Y/n can do naught but laugh,

“D/n get down!” He called, pulling on the leash a bit to take a hold of the animal, rubbing his sides to get him to calm down.

“Sorry about that Oikawa,” y/n says, still laughing a bit at the brunette.

“No you’re not,” Oikawa pouted.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. D/n just wants some love,” y/n said, still petting the animal, “Anyways, what are you doing here? Moving back from Argentina?”

“No, no, just visiting family and friends for the New Years.”

“I see,” y/n said, trying to feign disinterest.

Y/n’s laughter faded away as d/n was content with the attention he was now getting from his master. Oikawa let his eyes wander and y/n kept his attention on his companion, not knowing what to say to his former boyfriend. It had been years since they last spoke. 

“So...since I’m around,” Oikawa starts, hand running through his hair, a sheepish smile on his face, “maybe we can get lunch together? To catch up?”

Y/n shook his head, “No thanks. I don’t really think I’ll have the time,”

Oikawa’s smile fell from his face. “Oh, sorry to bother you. I guess I’ll see you,”

He begins to turn around, but y/n’s voice stops him in place. “Wait. I just don’t get a lot of free time. But catching up sounds nice. You’re welcome to join d/n and I on our walk.”

Oikawa brightened up immediately, “I was on some errands for my sibling, but his seems more important.” He gives a mischievous smirk and falls in beside you as you continue your way towards the park. 

“I caught all your games at the Olympics, you know,” y/n said, trying to fill the uneasy silence that had sprung between them

“You did!? All of them?” Oikawa asked, his chocolate eyes seeming to glow as he looked at y/n.

“Yea, all of them. I’ve watched all of your games since we were in middle school together…”

Y/n cheered along with the rest of the Seijoh crowd as the freak quick attack of Karasuno’s number ten was slammed back down on their own side of the court. Aoba Johsai won the third set, carrying them further in the Interhigh tournament. The teams shook hands and came to thank the crowd, Y/n’s boyfriend giving him a thumbs up as he approached the line, which y/n returned, smiling and cheering him on. 

Y/n turned to leave the stands. Entering the halls beyond, y/n ran into Oikawa’s arms, squeezing the (shorter/taller) male into a bear hug.

“Congrats babes!”

“Ugh, thanks y/n-chan”

“You were great!” Y/n said, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Oikawa blushed, still unused to the physical affection y/n gave him right in front of his team. Even two years into their relationship, he could never control his emotions, or stop the blush from rising in his cheeks whenever y/n called him his. Or jumped into his arms. The team just chuckled, some teasing Oikawa as they passed. Iwaizumi just stared blankly at the two of them, unable to comprehend how y/n was able to hand Shittykawa’s nonsense day in and day out. 

“We’re leaving soon trashykawa, so hurry up!” Iwaizumi said before passing by with the rest of the team, leaving Y/n and Oikawa alone in the gym’s hall.

“Thanks for cheering for me n/n. I always play better knowing you’re in the crowd,”

“Oh, Tooru, you know I’d never miss a game! Now you ready for tonight?”

“Well, actually…”

The smile immediately fell from Y/n’s face. He knew what was coming. Tooru was cancelling their date this weekend. For volleyball. Again. Resisting the sigh building in his chest, y/n shook away his disappointment and forced his smile back onto his face.

“It’s okay Tooru. I know you need to focus on volleyball right now,”

“Y/n-chan, I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“You don’t need to explain babes,” Y/n interrupted, “I know how important this is to you, especially since we’re third years. Last chance, right?”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you y/n chan!” Oikawa said, squeezing his boyfriend tight and peppering him with kisses on his check, “I promise we’ll spend all Sunday afternoon together once we win it all!”

Y/n smiled sadly, “Go get em my Lion. Rule the Court!”

Tooru squeezed Y/n into a tight hug once more, forcing the breath out of him and turned to join his team. A few steps away he turned to apologize to Y/n once more, but when he did, the hall was quiet and empty. Tooru walked back towards his team, his eyes set on only one thing; defeating Ushiwaka once and for all. 

Y/n wasn’t able to meet with Oikawa after the Shiratorizawa game, teh team having already left with the coach. Y/n didn’t even head to the cafe for their date. He knew Tooru wouldn’t show up. Instead he strolled up to his house, Oikawa’s mother opening the door before he even had a chance to knock. 

“Ah, there you are Y/n, right on time, as always. He’s upstairs.”

“Thanks,” y/n said, climbing the stairs two at a time. As he entered Tooru’s room, he found his boyfriend curled up in a ball on his bed.

“Tooru?” Y/n called

“Y/n-chan, what are you doing here?” he sniffled. 

“Comforting you. As I always do. Besides, I figured you’d forgotten about our date.”

Tooru  turned towards Y/n, his eyes red and puffy and wide with guilt. He began to sit up, but Y/n sat down on the bed and pulled him back down onto the mattress. Y/m wrapped his arms around Tooru and pulled him close, intertwining their ggs, giving him a quick peck on the forehead. 

“I’m here Tooru. It’s okay,”

Tooru sniffed and pulled Y/n in closer, “I’m sorry, it's just…”

“It’s okay. We can cuddle a bit, then go practice your serves and end with some ice cream if you want. Not the worst date we’ve ever had.” Y/n said, rubbing circles on Tooru’s back, and then get ready to beat Ushiwaka next time.”

“You're the best n/n! I don’t deserve you,”

“I know. And you don’t. You’re lucky you give great cuddles. And you’re cute,” Y/n joked, “but, I’m here for you. I’m here for you.”

Y/n let Tooru cry in his arms, letting his boyfriend vent his frustration and anger, allowing Y/n to hold onto him, to pull the shattered pieces back together. And then Tooru led him to the gym where Y/n chased balls and helped Tooru serve the rest of his frustration and self-doubt away. He spent their entire postponed date on building Tooru back up. Comforting his pain, reassuring him and pushing down the doubts building in his mind, doing everything to assure the volleyball captain that he was not only an amazing player and setter, but a great boyfriend as well. And finally, Y/n got an hour back with his boyfriend when they could take one damned hour away from volleyball and Ushiwaka as they walked hand in hand through the town, enjoying some ice cream as they went. 

And Y/n said that it was okay. He loved Tooru, and despite everything, Tooru loved him. Despite the cancellations, despite his obsession with beating Ushiwaka, and the constant beating himself down, Y/n knew that Tooru was sincere when he said he loved him back. 

“And, what did ya think of the games?” Oikawa asked, excited to hear that, even after all the years, he still had his number one fan watching his back.

“You were amazing. I can see all the hard work paid off. Your game against Japan and those Karasuno blokes was the highlight of the tournament.”

Oikawa nodded, remembering the match against all those who he had sworn to rise above.

“I was actually there for that one, you know,”

“What!? You were?”

Y/n nodded, “It was nice to see you play in person again. Anyways, how is Argentina? Meet anyone special?”

“Argentina is amazing! Best career decision I could have ever made, but what about you? What have you been doing?” Oikawa asked, turning the conversation towards Y/n. Y/n didn’t fail to notice that Oikawa had dodged one of his questions, but he let it pass.

“Oh, I’ve been getting by,” Y/n said as they reached the park. Moving towards the fenced section for dogs, Y/n stepped inside, allowing d/n off of his lease, as there were no other dogs around, and throwing a tennis ball, which d/n gleefully bound after.

“I’ve been working in animation.”

“That’s what you always wanted Y/n! You got your dream too!” Oikawa cheered, patting you on the back,

“It’s not the happy ending though, Oikawa.”

Oikawa looked at you confused. “Wasn’t that your dream? Using your art to help create anime?”

“It was. It is. It’s just,” Y/n sighed, suddenly deflated, and Oikawa took another look at Y/n, but this time he truly saw him. He saw the bags under the h/c eyes and the red of exhaustion and worry that rimmed Y/n’s eyes. He saw the stooped shoulders and y/n’s slouch, as if the world was bearing all its weight down on his friend, and it took everything he had just to force himself out of bed each morning. He saw the fake smile Y/n gave him, to stave off his worry. It was the very same Y/n flashed at him while they were dating, telling him that he was okay, when really he was tearing apart inside. And finally he searched y/n’s eyes once more and noticed how the light inside, which always filled Oikawa with butterflies, was faded and dim.

“Y/n,” he said, barely a whisper, his entire focus now on Y/n, “what happened to you?”

They weren’t together anymore. Y/n didn’t really love him anymore. But under that gaze, beneath the concern and care in Oikawa’s eyes, Y/n broke, a tear beginning to drop from his eyes.

“It’s just,” Y/n let out a deep breath, not even realizing what was about to come out of his mouth, “I work seven days a week. I never have time to take a day off, because if I do, I don’t get paid. You know how much I get paid for my art? You know how much I get paid for dozens of hours of animation? One hundred dollars. One hundred. I have seven different animation projects at any one time, and despite working over seventy hours each week, I can still barely afford rent for a god damned studio apartment, let alone everything else.”

Y/n’s voice raised and as it did, so too did his emotions, and the dam he had built up; it didn’t just crack, it burst. Half-sobbing, half-yelling, he continued, unaware of how much he was holding in or how he was falling apart in front of an ex he had spoken to in years. 

“And d/n has a vet bill coming up, which I know I don’t have money for. And I wouldn’t even have a dog in my situation, but he was my moms, and...well…”

Y/n’s voice trailed off as his tears and sobs became too much for him to speak through. Oikawa put his hand on the h/c’s shoulder. Oikawa had known Y/n’s mother was sick. She had been for years. All throughout high school she battled cancer, teetering back and forth between recovery and death. Oikawa hadn’t realized she had passed away.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry,” Oiwaka said, but his friend couldn’t hear him.

“And, I just couldn’t let him go and…” he choked between sobs, “but I know I don’t give d/n the time he deserves, and I don’t know what to do. I’m angry all the time because I work in an industry worth billions of dollars, but I, and hundreds of other animators, barely get paid for our never ending work to get anime’s out, and now matter what we do or say, nothing ever changes. And some days I just get up and want to quit because I can’t do it anymore. It’s making me hate art and animation. It’s making me hate my dream and I just want to give it all up. I just...just don’t know what to do…”

Y/n slumped to the snow covered ground, his knees giving way. D/n, sensing his owners distress, strolled over to y/n, dropping the ball at his feet. D/n raised his head up against Y/n’s, nuzzling it against him and licking at his tear stained cheeks.

Y/n gave a dry chuckle, “stop d/n,” he said, scratching the dogs ears before standing up, “I’m sorry Oikawa,” Y/n began, wiping away his teams, “I didn’t mean to…”

Y/n didn’t get a chance to finish as Oikawa had pulled him into a close hug, pulling Y/n’s head to his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Oikawa whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry you’ve had to hold so much on your shoulders alone again. It’s okay. I’m here for you. I’m here for you.”

And much to his embarrassment, Y/n cried into Oikawa’s shoulder, cried in his arms. His mothers death, the sense of hopelessness as he tried to make his way in Japan, the feelings of his dream dying in front of his eyes. Y/n let it all go while Oikawa held him, rubbing his back slowly and whispering to Y/n that he was here, that it was okay. 

A few minutes passed before Y/m pulled away from Oikawa, once again wiping away tears.

“How embarrassing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean our ‘catching up’ walk to turn into my sob fest,” Y/n chuckled.

“Hey, it's alright. It’s not as if I haven’t done the same to you. It looked like you really needed that. It’s okay.” Oikawa said, stepping back to give Y/n his space. “How long since your mother?”

“Two years.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Thanks,” Y/n said, throwing the tennis ball for d/n once more.

“Your father?”

“He left. I always was his great disappointment.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n,” Oikawa repeated, unsure of what else he can say to comfort his friend.

“It’s okay. I got past that one.”

“And you’ll get past all the rest,”

“I...I don’t know,” Y/n said, looking back down at d/n.

“Hey,” Oikawa said, lifting Y/n’s chin and turning his eyes towards his own, “The Y/n I know doesn’t give up that easily, not after what you’ve been through.”

Y/n gave him that ghost smile once more, but before he could speak, Oikawa continued.

“So here's what we can do. You clearly need some help,” Oikawa said, sticking his tongue out at Y/n and pulling down on the skin below his eye, “So I’m going to help you.”

“Oikawa, I’ll be fine…”

“Be quiet Y/n!” Oikawa said, his voice high and childish, just like back in high school, “We’re gonna get some exercise running with d/n. Then we’re going to the store and buying some food. You will graciously invite me over for dinner and we’re going to have a good time.”

“Oikawa, I have work to do tonight,” Y/n protested

“What’d you say? I couldn’t hear you,”

“Oikawa,” Y/n said with a growl

“Doesn’t sound like an invite to me,”

Y/n sighed, “Oikawa...you’re not going to stop, are you?”

“Nope.” he said with his stupid, adorable grin on his face, “but really, I wasn’t there for you in high school, not like I should have been. I’m going to be here for you now, as your friend.”

“Just as a friend, right?” Y/n asked to clarify

“Don’t worry, just as a friend,” Oikawa said, putting his arm around Y/n, “Now let’s play with d/n already,”

They stayed in the park for over an hour, playing with d/n, running him to make up for lost exercise. For the first time in what felt like years Y/n laughed, truly, freely laughed. Mainly at Oikawa being an idiot. But Y/n knew he was doing it for him.

And Oikawa, each time he was able to pull a laugh from Y/n, but slipping in the show and having d/n trample him, or reminiscing about times they pissed off Iwa-chan, could feel the blood pumping through his body, his heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t what they were, but it was something. The awkward air between them when Oikawa first approached had dispersed like dust in the wind, and they were friends again. It was enough. 

Keeping his promise, Oikawa dragged Y/n to the store and went inside, shopping for their dinner (and then some, much to Y/n’s chagrin), and followed Y/n home.

D/n collapsed on his bed right away, falling asleep, content with the day’s excitement. Y/n just looked around his tiny apartment and sighed once more, having forgotten about the disaster he called home.

“Sorry for the mess.”

“Wow. Y/n, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of clothing on your floor before, and now...I don’t know where to begin,” Oikawa teased.

He was right. Y/n was always organized, meticulous, and immaculate, but the stress of the past year had taken a toll on Y/n. Work stuff overed the small table and dest in the room, and the two chairs as well. Clothing, probably dirty, was strewn about the room, dirty dishes and half eaten meals covered the remaining space. And the small bed in the corner was a mess of sheets, pillows and half folded clothing.

“It's been a tough year and a half,” Y/n muttered. 

“Well, we’re going to forget about that tonight. Clean yourself up and I’ll start our dinner.”

“Since when could you cook?” Y/n teased

“Just go get cleaned up!” Oikawa ordered

` Y/n nodded. There was no point arguing anymore either. His small apartment had a main room, where his entire life was stored with a small kitchenette, and then a tiny bathroom with a shower. 

Y/n turned on the hot water and stepped in, wondering what he had just gotten himself into. He hadn’t meant to break down in front of his ex like that. He hadn’t meant to bring him home for dinner either. It wasn’t that Y/n didn’t like Oikawa anymore, but he just couldn’t get involved again. Stepping out of the shower he resolved to keep his feelings hidden and returned to his one room, seeing Oikawa scanning through his work. 

“I thought you were making dinner,” Y/n said, making Oikawa jump.

“Uh, I am. Sorry, I just saw some of your work, and then kept looking.”

“I see.”

“It’s amazing. You really don’t get paid for this?” he asked

“Doesn’t feel like it. Here, let me show you some of the animation work I do,” Y/n said, opening his laptop.

Y/n spent the next few minutes showing off his animation work on scenes from a growing new anime that was rapidly gaining popularity. 

“And you work at least seventy hours a week and still barely make enough? What assholes,” he says, being angry for you.

“Yea. Some nights I fall asleep at the desk. Iwa-chan says I overwork myself so much that I’m hurting my body. Sound familiar?” Y/n asked.

“We’re both two stars lost in the universe, hurting ourselves in order to shine with our dreams.” Oikawa gave Y/n a sad smile, “You hang you with Iwa-chan often?”

“Not really. No time. Not since the just after the Olympics a few months ago. Anyways, dinner.”

“Yes, yes, I’m on it.” 

“Sorry again for the mess. And the lack of space,” Y/n said, clearing off the chairs

“No worries. I’m actually used to it,” 

“You are?”

“Yea. When I first got to Argentina, well it was rough. I didn’t know the language and had almost no money at the start. The first two years I lived just like this. And to top it all off I overworked myself. A lot. I have to learn to take care of myself.”

“Did you? Learn I mean? Doesn’t sound like you.” Y/n teased, his old smile finally emerging from its slumber.

“Nor really,” Oikawa admitted, “But I’m doing much better now. Caught a good break and even met the Karasuno shrimp in Brazil. That actually really helped. And well, now I’m doing alright.”

“You’re an Olympian. I’d say you’re a sight better than alright,” Y/n pointed out.

“It wasn’t always easy, ya know. People don’t realize what we sacrifice.”

“I know, sorry. I didn’t mean to brush aside your struggles.”

“I just want you to know, it will get better. I believe in you.”

Y/n’s true smile faded, and the ghost he’d become resurfaced. He nodded anyways, nor really wanting to talk anymore about it. He’d already cried far too much for his liking today as it was, in front of Oikawa no less. And as Oikawa served the food, they ate dinner in silence, the unease from before returning like a storm cloud that just wouldn’t pass through.

“Thanks Oikawa,” Y/n mumbled as they finished, “I’ll clean this up,”

“Nonsense, I’ll do it. You relax. Is there anything else I can do for you,” Oikawa asked, winking at the end.

Y/n suddenly tensed. The last thing he wanted was Oikawa attempting to flirt with him right now.

“Jeez, calm down, I’m joking,” Oikawa said when he noticed Y/n tense up, “I said as a friend, and I meant it.”

True to his word, Oikawa cleaned and they hung out. Sharing stories, reminiscing on their days at Seijoh. And never once did Oikawa overstep his bounds or overstayed his welcome. Never once did he try to flirt, never once even asked or expected more for what he did for Y/n. Oikawa had grown, and for a moment, Y/n was really glad Oikawa was there for him, as his friend.

“Do you ever wonder how things would’ve turned out if you went with me?” But of course, in typical Oikawa fashion, he just had to ruin the moment. Maybe he hadn’t grown that much after all. But then, maybe Y/n hadn’t either, as his guard had to slip at that exact moment.

“Oh, Tooru…” Y/n said fondly, a weary look in his eyes.

After the loss to Shiratorizawa, Tooru threw himself back into volleyball with a fire that burned so hot, it threatened to consume the boy who possessed it. Y/n went to every game, even practice when he could. Tooru had a dream. Tooru needed Y/n and Y/n loved him. But Y/n needed Tooru too.

Y/n’s mother fell ill again, and his father was less than pleased with his son. The stress built until Y/n collapsed in class, in a puddle of exhaustion and tears. It was only then, after months of suffering that Tooru even noticed his boyfriend's pain, his terror. Tooru carried him to the infirmary. It was then he saw the fear and fatigue in his beloved’s eyes. Guilt overwhelmed him. They spent the weekend together, and for once, Toorus was there, entirely and completely for Y/n. With Tooru, he could pull himself through.

But Oikawa Tooru had a one track mind. Volleyball and rising above his nemesis, Wakatoshi Ushijima; nothing else could compete for space in his mind. Missed dates and meetups, waiting at the school gates for an hour, only to walk home alone and miserable. Y/n suffered, but knew that, despite everything, Tooru sincerely loved him.

Tooru always apologized. He was so sincere. He never meant to forget, to hurt Y/n, and he always made it up to him. A nigher here, a lunch there. But Oikawa was so singularly focused that it never lasted long. Y/n had to beg, or be on the verge of collapse for his boyfriend to momentarily let go of his obsessions with volleyball to focus solely on their relationship. But it was only ever for a fleeting moment. 

Then Y/n’s mother’s health declined again, and as it all piled up on Y/n’s back like gravity forcing him down to earth from orbit, he burned up and broke apart. He couldn’t take it all anymore. He couldn’t help his mother, or change his abusive father, but he could take the stress of their relationship out of his life. However, that very next day, Aoba Johsai fell to Karasuno in the prefecture tournament for Spring Nationals, and a run down, broken Oikawa made his way to Y/n’s home. Still sobbing, Y/n led Oikawa to his room and helped him as he did all those times before. Maybe now that it was finally over, they could fix their relationship. But that was naive. 

Y/n sat in the cafe, glaring at his phone, as if he was wishing he could stop the clock from turning. Maybe he hoped that it was running fast. But it wasn’t. Oikawa was late. Again. Y/n sipped at his hot cocoa as a tear slipped from his eyes.

 It was supposed to be better. Volleyball was over. It was supposed to be easier. Y/n thought. But every time he...I can’t do this anymore.

“That idiot.”

Y/n jumped at the angry growl and looked up to see Iwaizumi standing next to his table.

“Iwa-chan? What are you doing here?” Y/n asked

“Shittykawa is an idiot.”

“He’s not coming...is he?” Y/n asked, though he didn’t need to. He already knew the answer.

“He was only supposed to practice for ten more minutes. I was on my way home, but then wanted to check in on you. To make sure he got here.”

“Thanks Iwa-chan. Is he still at the gym?”

“Probably, knowing him. I’ll whack him good for you tomorrow.”

“No need Iwaizumi. We’re done.” Y/n said, getting up and brushing past Iwaizumi

“I’m sorry Y/n,”

“Thanks for letting me know, Iwa-chan.”

Y/n took to the street, turning back towards Aoba Johsai, his blood pumping furiously through his veins. As he approached the gym, he could still see the lights on, and as he made it to the doors, he heard the tell tale sound of a volleyball pounding against the gym floor. Y/n entered, not even trying to hold in his tears.

Oikawa didn’t even turn, “I’m almost down Iwa-chan, don’t worry.”

“I’m not Iwaizumi,” Y/n sniffled.

Oikawa heard Y/n’s trembling voice, his sniffles, and turned with a look of pure horror and guilt on his face, the voice jolting the forgotten promise of a Friday night date; cafe, dinner, movie, and cuddles. He rushed over to Y/n, apologies rushing out of his mouth, and tried to embrace his boyfriend. But Y/n shoved him away before he couldn. Hard. And Oikawa stumbled back.

“Y/n?” 

“Again Tooru. You forgot again! You don’t even have a tournament coming up and you still forget me for volleyball!” The venom in Y/n’s voice ripped through Oikawa.

“But Y/n, I still need to practice,” he argued.

“Is that practice more important than me? Than my feelings? What about what I need?”

“Y/n-chan, that’s not fair…”

“No!” Y/n screamed, jabbing his finger into Oikawa’s chest, “You don’t get to do that. I’ve accepted cancelled dates and rainchecks. No matter how hard I try, the plan is somehow always rearranged. I’ve been there for you, for three years. Every win. Every loss. I spent dates helping you practice. You don’t get to do that. It’s not fair that you can’t take one moment for me unless I literally collapse!”

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” Oikawa said, and the sincerity in his voice, in his eyes, tugged at Y/n’s heart. But he forced himself on. 

“I know you are. But I can’t do it anymore. My mother is still sick. My father is a homophobic ass. You are supposed to be my escape, my pillar too, just like I’ve been for you. But I find myself ever more stressed because of you. I can’t stop worrying about if you’re going to grace me with your presence for oncfe. I can’t do it anymore. You are so obsessed with volleyball, with beating Ushiwaka, that you don’t see anything else through your tunnel vision. You don’t see the blood and tears left behind in your rampage. I can’t do it anymore,” Y/n screamed through his sobs at the end. It was over.

“Y/n, I can’t choose between you and volleyball, I love both. I need both,” Oikawa said, tears beginning to glisten in his chocolate eyes. 

Y/n took a deep breath and pulled his temper back under reign. “I know, Oikawa, I know.”

Oikawa flinched at the use of his last name. That hadn’t happened since before they were dating. 

“I know. It’s your dream. You can’t give that up.”

“I love you too, n/n”

“I know Oikawa, I believe you do. But clearly you can’t do both. We;re done. I need to do what’ve best for me right now. You’ll be fine.”

Y/n turned to walk out, but Oikawa had grabbed his wrist. Angry e/c glared at Oikawa.

“Let go.” Y/n hissed, pulling away from Oikawa and storming out the gym doors. Oikawa followed him out, only to see Y/n crying in Iwaizumi’s arms.

“You moron,” was all he said before turning to walk Y/n home. 

“I’m leaving.”

A cold, early spring breeze, pushed its way across the park, and Y/n shivered. Yet it wasn’t for the cold. He ran his hands through his h/c locks and looked at everything but the boy in front of him. He noticed the new buds on the trees, and the hint of green pushing out of the thawed ground. Spring was always his favorite season; new life, new beginnings, a chance to start anew. His gaze moved up towards the clouds passing overhead. 

“I know” Y/n said

“And?”

“And what?” Y/n responded back, tone devoid of any feeling

“What about us?”

“What about us, Oikawa?”

“I still love you Y/n,”

“What do you want me to say Oikawa? That I’ll jump on a plane with you, to Argentina? Leave everything behind? Even if I wanted to, what would I do? Sit in your apartment, waiting for you to come home? After how you treated me?

They were on speaking terms again. It had taken a few months, but Y/n was willing to be in the same room as Oikawa again, at least as long as someone else was there. But this was the first they’ve been alone. 

“I...I,”

Y/n sighed and pushed down his love that still shone for the brunette. Despite everything, Oikawa was always honest and sincere.

“I know. I believe you do. But am I supposed to leave my sick mother? No Oikawa, this is it.”

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s a little late for that. I need to get home. Good luck, Oikawa.”

“Do you ever think of…”

“Oh, Tooru…” Y/n stopped as the name slipped from his lips, hoping Oikawa didn’t notice. Oikawa’s eyes widened in surprise at the use of his first name, but carried on as if nothing happened.

“I do, sometimes. When volleyball isn’t going well, I think of that moment in the park.”

“Honestly,” Y/n admitted, “so do I.”

Oikawa perked up.

“But, really, what would’ve happened. I’d have no job, nothing to do, nothing but to wait for you, and we both know how that went.” 

“You’re right. I know it. Doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”

“I know,” Y/n said, “and I’m not angry at you. Well, I was, and I was very hurt. But I know that volleyball was always going to claim the larger piece of your heart, and with everything going on, I just couldn’t do it. We had different lives I guess. But I’m not mad any more.”

“Thanks. For not being angry anymore,” Oikawa said, perking up a moment later, “Anyways, let's put in a movie we can laugh at and then we’ll have a sleepover, just like the good old days. Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the floor.” 

“Oikawa, we’re…”

“Just friends, I know, but do you really want to be alone tonight?”

Y/n shook his head, “Not really. Thanks...Tooru.” 

Just as Tooru promised, they laughed with a good movie, and Y/n felt his stress melt away for the first time in nearly a year, all his adult worries fading away with the sound of Oikawa’s voice. And just as he said, he never tried to push past being only friends. If Tooru still felt the same, he hid it well. All except his chocolate eyes which gave him away, gazing a half a second too long on the male. 

Morning came, and after Tooru made them a full breakfast, the two took d/n back to the park for his morning walk.

“I’m heading back to Argentina tomorrow.”

“I guess this is it then…”

“You know, my offer still stands.”

“To go with you?” Y/n asked.

“Yes. You mentioned last night that during the pandemic that you worked mostly from home. You could do the same in South America.”

“And what else Tooru? I’m not sure I want to leave Japan. Besides, I’d only end up on the back burner to volleyball. No. I won’t go.” Y/n said, his eyes determined.

“I understand. It was silly to ask. Give me your phone though,”

“Why?” Y/n asked, handing over the device.

“There,” Oikawa said after typing in a set of numbers, “You have my new number. We can keep in touch, and talk when things get too real, as friends. And I can curse out your awful bosses for you.”

“I could do that.” Y/n said, his smile returning from the graveyard it had been lost to for so long.

“And during the off season you can come visit me. You and Iwa-chan both.”

“Tooru, you know I can’t get the time off.”

“Don’t care. You’re gonna visit. Or I’ll tell Iwa-chan how beat down you actually were and he’ll drag you by your ear to the airport.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Y/n challenged

“Try me,” Oikawa said, sticking his tongue out at Y/n, pulling up Iwaizumi’s number on his phone.

“Fine, fine, just don’t call him. I’ll try to visit, okay?”

“Good. I should get home though. I never did tell my family I’d be out all night. It was good to see you Y/n.”

“It was. And thank you. I needed this.”

“Anytime, it’s what any good captain would do,” Tooru said, turning to walk away

“And Tooru?”

“Yea?”

Y/n’s eyes were glued towards the ground, a slight blush rising on his face. “Oh, nothing, nevermind.”

“You’re blushing like a schoolgirl and you think I’m going to let this go. Tell me.” He said, stepping closer to Y/n.

“I...I won’t wait for you. But if the day ever comes when there is space in your heart, and we’re both still wandering through this world alone...well, maybe we could try again…” Y/n said, looking up and meeting Oikawa’s gorgeous chocolate eyes. 

Oikawa nodded, giving Y/n one last final hug before heading back home, and eventually to where his heart really rested; his volleyball team, and Y/n, back to his apartment, with a new outlook and determination to build on his dream.

Sorry this was so long. Also was originally supposed to be an Oikawa x Male Reader x Iwaizumi, but clearly that didn’t happen. Story kind of took over itself.

Also, if you don’t know, animators in Japan are actually living in poverty despite the industry being so damn lucrative. They barely get paid anything for their art, so most of the people creating your favorite anime’s are barely making it by. If you don’t know much on it, here’s a Nytimes article that talks a bit about it. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/24/business/japan-anime.html

Might be a part II. Don’t know, depends on if inspiration hits in the middle of the night forcing me to write. 

[whatisgoingonpaul]

Lost boys backstorys

I made a post while ago on my ideas of the boys past but now I want to update it. I just want you to know I’m still a firm Prequel lover/follower however we don’t get much info on the boys Pre 1906, so that’s what this is for! However personally I would have had more Max so this is going to be both pre 1906 but also include relationship with Max a bit.

I am also including my personal ideas on Last names and age. However I am under the idea that they wouldn’t know/take their last name seriously if the did know it cause- ya know. Orphans. This is going to be lengthy and I’m going to pin it, not just because I want it seen but also to remind myself in fic writing (when I don’t follow these ideas in a fic it’s gonna be Marked as Au- as I’ll probably be messing around with a different past.)

I’ll be doing appearance but only physical as there’s some stylistic changes. For clothing? Honestly so thinking workers clothes/cowboy esc

Also! Their stories are all going to kinda intertwine so I’d there’s not enough info under one theirs a solid chance there’ll be more for them under someone else’s!

David Hardy-

Age(as of 1906): 19

Born: 1887

Appearance: Average height, his hair a dirty blond- near reddish and is around shoulder length. Bearded. (Think doc but with slightly updated clothing)

Backstory:

David Is the only of the boys to grow up with at least one of his parents, living with his mother until her death when he was around 7. They lived in a decent, though cramped little space in San Francisco, by the docks. His father worked on and off- a not so stable style ending in him getting involved in not doing saviory things - getting arrested. His mother worked as a washerwoman. David worked the streets awhile, as a young child now left alone, he learned to pickpocket and live off what he could manage. It was around this time he had found Marko- doing the same thing he was - though arguably less effectively do to his more sporadic nature. At around age 10 the two became extremely close and rather inseparable, Marko even looking up to him despite being the older of the pair. However david wasn’t one to living completely criminal like... he did NOT want to be his father, which lead him to not drinking , EVER. (Even as a vampire he still doesn’t do alcohol.) he poked towards more honest work, also forcing Marko into doing the same , which he wasn’t exactly thrilled about- but did anyway. Tried. David did a lot of work on the docks, odd jobs and stuff like that- but it never paid even half as good as nabbing a wallet or cheating at cards. He wouldn’t be his father- he’d be better- better then all the nobody’s. More level headed then Marko though  ambitious, big headed and still wildly child like- eventually Paul , Dwayne and Jasper joining the pair. Well now, David had himself a full on gang. Never robbery, not that far. The group pickpocketed , cheated at any sort of game or match, that sort of thing... they were still young after all. Smart enough not to go wild like some famous bandit (Though David will admit to his slight admiration of Billy the kid.). He’s a quick learner, and when he learns something- he learns it well- becomes a damn near expert. When he is good at something he is good at it. He is the leader out of the groups mutual respect towards him , quick thinker. Notable flaws: Huge ego, hopeless romantic.

Marko Connelly-

Age(as of 1906): 20

Born: 1886

Appearance: on the shorter side, golden - darker brown hair in this fluff of ringlets it’s long about just past his shoulder blades and typically tied back. Usually dirty somehow (Think Poli but with longer hair and updated clothing)

Backstory:

Born to a rich family , one of those who moved from east to west and actually did make it big. He was a pretty little thing, more a doll to his mother then particularly a child- only taken from Nanny to be dotted over or photos taken. However around the age of 3 or 4 things had tipped, scandal! Missing. That is what the newspapers said anyway he was found missing- was it that he was given away? Or stolen? He was never particularly a child to be quite or sit still or anything such as that... so who is to say? Marko doesn’t remember a lick of that either way as he was far far to young for it but he does remember being alone. This is how he had grown his attachment to birds, they always stuck around. He grew comfortable with being alone, having himself to depend on, getting good at grabbing what he needs- A mansion is stark contrast to dirty winding alleyways. He was always cursed with his looks- even filth covered at 6 he could make sad eyes and tend to swindle whatever he wanted... but he wasn’t completely quick. He’d get in trouble, his face memorable he could rarely pass the same trick again. At 11 David came across him, the two started working and living together (that is where they could find a place to sleep.) he sort of gained this complex. He felt he owed David , in some strange sense he became attached at the hip- a helper, a second- almost servant like the guy had saved his life and he is now the others. It didn’t help that at a young age, Marko had developed what was come to be understood as a deep crush- at times as teens this was reciprocated. As loyal and loving as he was to the other male he wasn’t nearly as cautious, as rule following... he had come to despise authority, to despise the fancy, the rich all of the crowd. He was never sure why. Even regular work got on his hate list... but he gave in and would try to do a normal amount pf work.. it never really worked as there was something, how he would sass, how he looked or smelled or spoke (neither him nor David really spoke ‘proper’ English - meaning no slang or accent). Around when Paul came things started to shift in the group, more mouths- more work and more thinking. Oh yea David and his thinking. Marko is a bit hostile right off the bat when it comes to people he doesn’t know, eventually he cracks and will be more loyal to you then to anyone you’d ever know. He opened up to Paul, a lot sooner then he would have thought the guy was funny and sweet - lil stupid too. David had this grand idea of a little gang, naturally Marko was all for it because illegal activity is fun- it was like a game to him. A liked stealing from pockets and playing distraction for David, as time grew he began to hate how young and gentle his face appeared to be. He LOATHED absolutely appalled the pity glances he would get, the hand outs the whole “oh you poor fragile little dear 🥺” he hated being babied and still does. He hated the stares he got on the opposite direction ... at first, it was funny, it was nice to be wanted in that sense rather then some baby. However... it grew creepy, it wasn’t women or a fella his age...it was more the gaze of older men. Marko detested it so much- he KNEW he’s seen what some of the guys... even younger then him ended up doing- he could see the occasional look in david’s eye. No he would never really consider....no. Paul was more his shoulder to cry on, someone to go to , to ramble to to speak with and just be with. The two were touchy, always leaning against eachother or grabbing their arms, laughing or sleeping or- eventually it became more then casual, it was serious. The two started ‘dating’ at some point- none of them were ever serious on titles but it was good to put a word to it.

Paul campbell-

Age (as of 1906) : 18

Born: 1888

Appearance: tall and lengthy, he has a mole on his left cheek, he has stubble/shadow opposed to a beard. He’s also usually dirty, dirty blond , long hair think Buffalo bill with volume and his hairline not receding

Backstory:

Grew up in a orphanage, hundreds of kids all stuffed together into a few rooms, often sharing beds and everything else. He was never a still child, he would always figit and move and shift - whenever he’s supposed to be quite or still like lessons or Mass he just couldn’t. This - got him most of the attention from the mistresses and overseers- much more quick to slap then to explain... he was docile , quick to flinch and try and stop. Never worked well. Once you get to 7-8ish you work if not adopted by a decent age. Sweeping, factory work he tried it all. He was particularly desensitized to violence at a extremely young age while working in a textile factory- he’s seen a kids arm come clean off. Terror turns to fascination eventually. At some point he’d stopped returning at night finding David and Marko at 15, he started hanging with them- it was safer in numbers that sort of thing- Paul could read a bit , David could write a bit- the three worked it out together. always so distracted- the others learned right off the bat he wasn’t built for pick pocketing no matter how hard he begged about it. Instead he’d do real jobs- sweeping , fighting, placing crooked bets that sort of thing. He always complains. A massive softie since he was young, Paul can’t quite handle being on his own- he’s used to having at least one other person around him at all times causing him to get quite hooked onto the other boys. He hovers around the same places. He is also a fan of dancing- Paul- is music obsessed the moment he heard the first noise of any sort of music he was hooked. He is one about fun- being restrained from it for so long as a child- always to sit out and watch or to think about whatever he did.. oh. Dancing, drinking, drugs, clubs, all of it is his kind of deal- he would drag the others with him when they had a bit of extra cash to deal with. Dwayne and his brother, when they joined on he was instantly accepting, unlike Marko he didn’t have the deep seeded trust issues, he was immediately touchy and happy to share a joke or a comment no matter the glares. He is the one to get Dwayne to lighten up a little bit, to smile he loves to see that smile :). He got around to dating Marko, when they finally put a label on it he was really giddy about it, making jokes and comments- he adores the little names like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘bo’ - he eventually gets around to just plain ‘sugar’ . Marko is the one who really entertains Paul’s love for dancing, the two of them trying to get the others to do something lighten up- eventually their pawing would bare fruit. Paul makes the best out of the worst situation, even if they end up sleeping on the beach more often then not- he somehow makes it seam alright. Except that one time he had gotten sand in Dwayne’s eye and all hell broke lose. He is the current youngest member of the group after Jaspers passing.

Dwayne Maher

Age (as of 1906) : 22

Born: 1884

Appearance: Tall, muscular , tanned(I will establish this now but Dwayne is Native American.) long Black hair with burnet highlights, reaches half down his back.

Backstory:

Born out more Midwest unlike the others he was not born in San Francisco, eldest son of a decent sized family of four kids. Do to conflict he and his younger brother skipped town, skipped state and fled to California.. better options you know?. He’s strong built, hard working and good with his hands though, rather playful most of the time. He looks after his younger brother closely, when there is work they work the same place, when there is not they both still do the same. Quickly took to David and the gang , having a tight knit bond with each of them. He was sort of the muscle - if there was trouble, he knew how to fight and it would likely work better then the knives the boys carried around or the gun David could barely shoot. It was Paul who got him to open up more, about himself and just to speak in general, he’s much more under his breath and jokingly commenting then he is saying something out loud- however if he dislikes something or thinks it stupid you WILL know it. Like David he carries the occasional thought of caution, however he’s not nearly as quick to worry. Maher is not his actual last name , nor does he ever mention it- he simply uses this one when it’s needed as some sort of identification or document. He’s surprisingly good at money, he ends up counting with David and is better at budgeting no matter how he may want or need something. He doesn’t speak on his past as he tries to make it seam he has little of one, he likes to make things mysterious he finds it amusing.

Jasper Maher-

Age (as of 1906) : 16

Born: 1890

Died: 1906

Appearance: shoulder length black hair, typically tied back and braided , tanned, string bean.

Backstory:

The younger brother of Dwayne who is much much more open on how he grew up, casually mentioning things he learned from his parents of his brother (he doesn’t remember his parents that much.) young hot shot sort of kid who’d much rather have action then he would some serious job, loud, energy filled and one for violence- however he’s surprisingly sweet. He often got himself and his brother into trouble. He was a quick and fast young child who grew surprisingly closest with Marko, the two having a habit for breaking every possible rule they could manage together. Their close friendship lead to Marko naming one of his birds after Jasper long after his passing.

Max-

Unknown age but he is seen as extremely old and powerful

Relationship with the boys:

After finding them he has decided to take them under his metaphorical and physical wing, acting as a sort of guardian. Food, clothing, shelter, he was everything the boys didn’t have and was surprisingly inviting in the beginning. ‘I do this for you, you on occasion do this for me’ sort of deal. He wasn’t a leader so much as he was a usual figure, the boys knew and understood him to be above them... so they followed you know? The whole new vampirism thing and the clueless kids- he had to explain and show nearly everything... especially to David, he wasn’t so much harsh to him as he was strict- more of a lead by example sort. Honestly he was father like in a strange sense- that someone is almost like a parent but very much your boss. See... with Max’s strength, there’s this almost automatic level of control- you can’t say no to him. You literally can’t not do what he asks (some supernatural level messing-). There’s something dark about him, in him that the boys still don’t understand in the 80s- but it scares them. It’s strange, it feels unlike him... he seams just like a Dorky , sweet man until...

Some random thoughts that don’t really fit anything

The boys are explicitly religious, past what you’d hear in passing or remember from growing up. Saying “oh god” and respecting religious officials are about what you’ll get

Whoopsies! This was a extremely long post lmao. Sorry for the long read but I could go on and on about them this was just a small blurb to all of it. If you ever wanna hear more do tell me. Also tell me if I should add tw for anything as I know I got a little dark at some points.

[prongssmrrcury]

a very bleak christmas

wolfstar fic /// one shot

word count ( 6.2k ITS LONG SORRY)

fluff, not much smut

this turned out awfully long IM SORRY😭 having that said i hope you enjoy <33 ily mwahh

"you ready wormy?" james said, shutting his trunk and looking at his bed and around the dormitory to make sure hasnt forgotten anything. he looked over at the shorter boy with sandy coloured hair who was bending down apparently trying to get something he dropped from under the bed, but struggling a great deal. he nervously shot his head up giving james a weak smile and said "yes, im ready, i just dropped something here im not sure what-"

"just tell moony to fetch it for you while we're away" james said and peter just agreed and left the dormitory trailing after james with his trunk, shutting the door on his way. the gryffindor common room was emptier than usual, but the fireplace was lit with a couple of people huddling around it to shield themselves from the ruthless cold of december. despite this however, peoples spirits were as light as ever as almost everyone was departing for two weeks to spend christmas with their families, even lily evans stopped rolling her eyes every time james breathed, and started spending more time with him and ( to james' great delight) enjoying his company. speaking of lily, she was standing by the fireplace with her hair up in a ponytail with a furry winter cap on her head. james noticed her at once and made his way down the flight of stairs and tapped her shoulder softly, she turned around and gave him a warm smile, a short hug followed.

"happy holidays james!" she smiled so widely it watered james' eye. she called him james, not potter.

"happy holidays" he managed to respond, taken aback by the sudden affection she just showed him. she looked around furrowing her brows slightly then spoke, "wheres your trunk? have you not packed?"

"oh no i have! i left my trunk with peter to um, you know, come and say hi" he said the second part of the sentence quietly, she let out a soft laugh, god he just wanted to kiss her so bad. "wheres yours?" he asked quickly. she turned around slightly to show him her trunk which was standing behind her, tapping it twice.

"alright then, lets go down to breakfast, minnie wouldnt want us to be late" he told her, taking her hand and leading her out of the common room with him. he looked back at peter who was struggling with his own trunk and james' but peter just shot him a thumbs up as if he got everything under control.

"alright wormy, dont be late" he muttered. the pair of them walked down from the gryffindor tower to the entrance hall and right to the great hall where elaborate christmas decorations were encapsulating the place, giving the entire castle a more homey vibe. the four house tables were emptier than usual, james and lily made their way to the gryffindor table where they were met by a handsome boy with long hair that he managed to scruff in a very messy pony tail, and a taller boy sitting across him who seemed to find his buttering his toast to be a very intriguing activity. lily and james took seats next to them.

"morning" sirius spoke, looking at lily then at james.

"morning sirius, how are you" lily replied, who also began buttering her toast. sirius didnt respond right away, instead he eyed her then finally spoke, "oh im, im very good" it didnt really seem like it, sirius didnt seem to be in his loud, arrogant and flirtatious mood today, instead a rather dull and quiet one. lily looked at james silently trying to understand what had caused the sudden change in sirius behavior, she was met a mere shrug from james. the four of them sat in silence for the next ten minutes, no one breaking silence that seemed to have swallowed them. remus then looked up for the first time and sighed loudly, which made sirius look very attentively at him, waiting for him to say anything.

"im gonna go, im in the dorm if you want me pads. enjoy your holidays james, you too lily" he said lowly, also clearly in a dull mood in contrast to everyones mood right now. he got up and left, shooting them a weak smile before disappearing out of the great hall.

sirius watched him so closely even when he had gotten out of sight. it was common knowledge that the pair are in love and clearly fancied each other, almost everyone in school knew that. maybe its because of sirius' shameless attitude, cuddling with remus in the common room, sitting on his lap in the middle of the great hall, or pushing remus against a wall and just stand in front of him doing god knows what. the only problem was... neither sirius nor remus knew they liked each other. they obviously knew they had a different relationship than anyone else but they were so oblivious to the fact that theyre in love that it sometimes made james just want to scream it in their face.

"you okay pads?" james said mockingly, sirius had been staring at where remus left for at least ten minutes completely transfixed, he came back to his senses at once and looking abruptly between james and lily then back at his doughnut, fiddling with it slightly. he then shot james an alarmed look and said, "dont call me that james". he spoke so firmly, he knew james knew this is what remus calls him. no one was really allowed to use that nickname with him, even he and james who had a light hearted friendship that was basically based on jokes and pranks, sirius pronounced the words looking into james' eyes, which made james know he was being one hundred percent serious. james didnt respond, feeling a rush of guilt in his stomach, he just took a bite of his oatmeal.

"how are things with you two" james asked. sirius once again didnt respond right away but instead took time to ponder his answer.

"what do you mean how are things"

"you know, have you guys had a row or anything?" james asked, stuffing more oatmeal in his mouth.

"oh- um yea no. not really no" sirius hesitated a bit. the truth is that remus and him didnt have a row, but today was one of these occasions where sirius woke up finding himself on remus' bed not knowing how or why. it had happened a couple of times before and when it did, remus would immediately smile warmly at sirius and pamper him with kisses here and there on his cheek and his jaw. however, today, remus woke up a bit more shaky to the fact that he was in the same bed as sirius. he straightened his pyjamas quickly giving sirius an awkward smile and leaving without a word.

james dropped his oatmeal and looked at sirius looking serious for the first time, giving him a smile that carried something between sympathy and support.

"are you ever going to tell him?"

"tell him what" sirius said bluntly

james smirked. even lily suppressed a knowing look. sirius rolled his eyes.

"you guys are not onto that bullshit the whole school talks about right?" he asked cringing slightly.

"if the bullshit includes you and remus being blindly in love then yes" james gave a small laugh.

"literally blindly" lily mumbled, but sirius heard her and gave her a look.

"guys- hes my best mate"

"doing a lot of canoodling with your 'best mate' ?" james smirked rolling his eyes.

"first of all, what the fuck is canoodling james, this isnt the eighteenth century" he ppinted out the weird choice of wording.

"whatever, point is, people dont sleep on their 'best mates' chests every day padfoot" sirius opened his mouth to protest but james cut him again "just save your breath will you. im trying to help"

sirius sighed heavily burying his head in his hands and shaking it.

"i dont fucking know what to do prongs. fuck ugh i hate this so much why cant it be simpler" sirius' voice got weaker.

"mate just talk to him, remus cant read your mind. and its pretty obvious the feelings mutual" james tried to convince him.

"i dont know if hes into- you know, into me" sirius tried to explain. sirius had come out to the entire school three years ago so it was common knowledge that was gay.

"oh he is" lily said

sirius blinked.

"i mean, i spend a lot of time with him in our prefects meetings and in the library and stuff" she explained. sirius blinked again.

"i mean" she began again, "he talks about you an awful lot and seems to be quite fond of you" she smiled.

"look, you'll never know if you dont ask" james said again. "look at me, i had to ask lily out at least fifteen times-"

"james what the fuck this isnt the same, why are you even comparing it" sirius interrupted

"oh of course its not the same, but communication is key, no matter what the relationship is"

"yea and when i ask him out and he just says i misunderstood all his soft affectionate gestures, then stops hanging out with me because im gay and he would know i have feelings for him, that clearly arent mutual. i'll just ruin everything, and i'll lose probably the only person that likes me in this lousy world" sirius spilled, laughing bitterly.

"sirius! you know remus would never stop hanging out with you because of that, you know it!" james said, his voice getting a bit louder.

"yea but it'd be a sticky situation when your gay friend has feelings for you" sirius said, his eyes filled with tears that he wiped right away hoping james and lily didnt see that.

"sirius.." lily said lowly

"lily can you please check up on peter and help him if needs any assistance" james told her firmly, she didnt need telling twice, knowing he wanted to be left alone with sirius. she made her way out of the great hall until she was out of sight, then james look at sirius again who had his head buried in his hands once again.

"sirius i dont know whats gotten into you today, but you know damn well that neither moony or i would ever think of you any differently because you're gay. stop saying that as if its something that hinders you" this was one of the rare occasions where james was serious and firm. he wanted sirius to know meant every word that left his mouth. at this moment he heard a sniff followed by a weak sob.

"james, i sometimes wish i wanst- wasnt, you know, gay" he managed to say between sobs. james' face fell suddenly.

"no dont say that. please dont say that, you know we love you the way you are and we dont give two damns if you're gay or not" james got up and made his way across the table to sit next to sirius rather than in front of him.

"you're me best mate, i dont like seeing you like this. i love you a lot sirius and nothing your little overthinking brain comes up with could change that" he said, pulling sirius into a hug, so hard that he mightve broken a few ribs. he wasnt gonna let go before sirius does, he could stay here all day until sirius was ready to let go. he heard strong sniffs and felt his chest going up and down. sirius broke the hug after a few minutes, looking a lot more content than he had a few minutes before. james gave him his usual cheeky smile.

"your fucking snout sirius" james laughed, picking up a handkerchief trying to clean his shoulder.

"fuck off" sirius managed to laugh, sniffing again.

"thank you" sirius said quietly

"come off it, dont thank me" james smiled at him. he watched him grab a cigarette and right when he was about to light it with the tip of his wand james stopped him hesitantly. james never really liked to mother him about smoking or give him lectures about the effects smoking had, but he noticed sirius was eating less and smoking more the past couple of days. sirius shot a "what-do-you-want" look to which james responded, "um, can you please just eat something before you smoke" james said. he knew this was a touchy subject, he never liked to mention it but they were alone and he knows he's the only one sirius would listen to. sirius gave him a hesitant look, before stuffing the cigarette back in his pocket.

"just for you prongs" he rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his doughnut. james however was filled with so much joy seeing his best friend do that just for him.

"what are you smiling so much at you prat" sirius said between bites. james shook his head softly before saying, "im very proud of you sirius, i hope you know that" sirius smiled and laughed dismissively at that statement, james knew it touched him but sirius never really knew how to respond to affectionate words.

"you're very sappy you know that" sirius laughed slightly.

"whatever" james felt his cheeks go red. "anyway i have to get going before i get minnie mad on christmas" he said, getting up, swinging his backpack on his back leaving the hall.

"tell moony i say merry christmas" james called, leaving the great hall also disappearing out of sight.

~

later that night, james and lily departed home to spend the upcoming weeks with their families to celebrate christmas, so did most of the school. as homey and welcoming as the school felt, everyone loved going back to their family, everyone except sirius. sirius was never fond of his family, he never had a good relationship with them and all they did was make him more miserable, he would take any chance to be away from them. sirius was sat in the library that was emptier than usual (but the ceiling was enchanted to fake snow) he was sitting with two giant books opened in front of him, yellowed by age. he looked over at the books, he hadnt read a single word despite being here for nearly an hour. he came here in an attempt to distract himself from the intensifying amount of nerves and stress, however, he was so lost in his thoughts that not even that gigantic book can save him from his exhausting overthinking. he sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulder, shutting the books that made a loud thud and put them back in their place. sirius swung his backpack on his back and left the library making his way to the gryffindor tower. he just wanted to sleep. yes, sleep, thats what he needed. he went through the fat lady's portrait and climbed up the stairs to his dormitory, finding remus sitting on his four poster bed completely engulfed by a book. remus shot his eyes up the second he heard sirius walking in and gave him a wordless smile, going back to his book. sirius' stomach did a funny lurch.

"i was starting to think youve forgotten your way around the castle" remus said, flipping the page of his book, still reading it. sirius looked at him nervously, not sure what he meant by that.

"what?" sirius asked, he was going to take his shirt off and get in his pyjamas but stopped abruptly. he didnt wanna make remus uncomfortable around him, especially after what happened this morning. they always had a very intimate relationship though, changing in front of each other was never a problem. remus suppressed a chuckle which made sirius look at him, unsure what he found comical in this very intense atmosphere.

"you can take your shirt off if you want sirius" remus said, still poured into his book.

"how can you even see me?" sirius couldnt stop himself. remus looked up from his book and gave him a is-that-even-a-question look. sirius slipped his undone tie, unbuttoning his buttons his fingers shaking horribly for a reason he didn't understand. he knew remus was looking in his book (not that he didnt want remus looking) but he still felt like all the worlds eyes are on him. a couple of awfully long minutes passed and sirius finally was in his pyjama and got into his bed under his blanket and stared absentmindedly into the wall. remus flipped the page once again, he hadnt read a word on the previous page. how could he? he was so preoccupied by sirius changing in front of him. remus did freak out when he found himself on the same bed as sirius this morning. he doesnt know why he freaked out the way he did, its not like its the first time. he knew that this had made sirius extremely self conscious the whole day, he was wearing a very dull look. he had to make up for his unexplainable actions, he cant stand seeing sirius this upset, especially if he was the reason hes feeling like that. he couldnt stand seeing him in such a bad mood on breakfast this morning that he had to dismiss himself early. but sirius' loss of his loud flirtatious attitude was what stirred the pot for remus. he didnt walk in the dorm and try to slip in bed with remus, or get a kiss from him, or remotely try draw any attention to hismelf from remus rather than that book in his hand, which was as un-sirius as one can get.

"why were you late?" remus asked sirius, knowing hes not asleep. sirius mumbled something inaudible from his bed that remus didnt catch onto. remus furrowed his brows slightly. he shut his book and put it on the bed side table, the sound he made when he shut his book made sirius shift in his bed to face remus who was staring back at him.

"where were you?" remus asked

"in the library" sirius said simply, avoiding any sarcasm or any joking around. remus face wore a surprised expression.

"oh- by your own will?" he said with a breathy laugh.

"yea" sirius replied

"what were you reading?" said remus, sounding excited. sirius didnt exactly know why he wad being interrogated by remus about his absence.

"um, i was just doing homework"

"oh, thats actually nice pads" remus smiled. sirius' stomach did another flip at the nickname. god this was so awkward and tense, sirius thought.

"sirius are you mad at me?" remus said, going straight to the point. every muscle in sirius' body went tense and completely still.

"no" sirius said bluntly.

"sure?"

"yea"

"okay. great then. um do you wanna come lay here with me?" remus offered, this was quiet foreign for remus as it was never him who initiated anything sexual or intimate. but he was willing to go out of his comfort zone for sirius. just for sirius.

"uh- sorry moony im really tired" it pained sirius to say these words, if he was being honest, he wanted nothing more than to lay in remus' chest right now and give him soft pecks and kiss his stupid plump lips.

"oh, okay" remus said lowly. "okay then" sirius wasnt sure what he meant by that tone, and before sirius has any other second to think about it, he felt his bed dip slightly and remus climbing on him, placing himself on top of sirius with his legs wide opened around his waist. sirius felt like all the oxygen in the world had escaped his lungs.

"tired, you said you are pads? want a little massage?" remus cooed softly. he leaned down on sirius' chest undoing his pyjama buttons revealing his tattooed chest.

"remus-" sirius tried to stop him. sirius promised himself he wasnt going to do anything like that with remus because he doesnt want to make him uncomfortable or possibly hate him more, however, this is different. its remus thats initiating it. it remus that did it.

"what pads?" remus continued cooing softly, completely stripping sirius of his shirt and attaching his lips on sirius' neck. at this exact moment, sirius moaned louder than he intended. he shifted slightly in his bed and put his hand through remus' hair. remus continued nibbling sirius' neck. he bit and licked at all the right spots, leaving a soft trail of kisses all over his neck and made his way up to his chin and on his lips, where he left a soft peck. sirius however pulled remus' head back towards him to kiss him properly, remus licked sirius' bottom lip which made sirius moan approvingly into the kiss. remus slipped his tongue in sirius' mouth and deepened the kiss, he felt sirius' hand wandering around his shoulder and slipped in his shirt to touch his bare skin.

"god this is so" remus moaned breaking the kiss only to attach his lips on his once again.

"remus-" sirius stopped him abruptly. remus looked down on sirius, his eyes mobing fast between his godly features, furrowing his brows slightly not understanding why sirius stopped him. did he make him uncomfortable? was sirius really not in the mood and remus overstepped a boundry? remus felt a horrible tingling feeling in his stomach as his brain raced between all the possibilities.

"remus im sorry- i cant do this" sirius said, as soon as the words left his mouth he felt horrible, reading the shocked and bewildered expression on remus face, he looked very hurt and unsure of himself.

"oh- fuck okay im sorry" remus said quickly, getting off sirius and leaving his bed, but sirius held his arm to immobilize him and not make him leave. they stared at each other for a few seconds that felt painfully long. both of them felt confused, upset with themselves and unsure of what to do or say next.

"can you please stay" sirius said quietly avoiding remus' eye. remus didnt respond which made sirius feel a horrible pit of nerves in his stomach.

"i- i don't understand. you just asked me to stop and told me you cant do this" remus spoke lowly with a soft rasp in his voice. sirius buried his head in his hand, he was on the brink of tears, he honestly didnt know what or how to explain his confusion to remus. how could he explain it or put it in cohesive words when he himself didn't understand.

"sirius please talk to me" remus said softly, holding sirius' hand

"rem i dont know how-"

"do you trust me?" remus cut him off.

"what- yes of course" sirius said sternly.

"then please tell me how you feel"

"how i feel about what?" sirius asked

"about doing this" remus tried to explain, sirius knew at once he was referring to all the sexual stuff they do.

"remus i love it. i enjoy it a lot, i sometimes just want the day to end only to get in bed with you. i- i dont know how to word my feelings because it's honestly just all a mess inside me" sirius spilled. this was the most he'd spoken all day. remus smiled at the last sentence. "what about you?" sirius asked, feeling the same horrible pit of nerves in his stomach increase. remus however smiled.

"i do things for you pads that id never do to anyone" he said, smiling more. he leaned closer to sirius' face and brushing a few strands of his hair out of his face. "but, if you feel unsure about this, we can stop and just be friends. i'd completely understand"

"no what the fuck moony" sirius said before he could stop himself, remus looked in his eyes. "no im unsure about your feelings to me, not about my feelings to you" he tried to explain.

"you think i dont like you?" remus asked quickly.

"well not exactly but im not sure how you feel towards me". at this, remus leaned down to kiss sirius lips a soft and tender kiss. he took his time to savor every bit of his mouth he could.

"maybe this would give you a good idea about how i feel about you" he smiled at him. "we're both exhausted, its best if we just go to sleep"

"right okay. can you sleep with me?" sirius asked, remus gave a breathy laugh at his sweet request.

"yes darling i can" he said with his usual rasp apparent, getting under the blanket and spooning sirius playing with his hair for the the next foreseeable hours until both of them were sleeping.

soft sun rays illuminated through the window of the gryffindor tower and on the entire hogwarts grounds. the translucent curtains that were in the dormitory were not doing any shielding from the sun rays whatsoever. it fell gently on the two boys that were sleeping together, tangled together, their bodies almost intertwining so perfectly with each other as if they were jigsaw pieces. sirius' head was on remus' chest, remus hugging sirius' body towards him and their legs just tangled. they looked so peaceful, their chests raising and going down every couple of seconds, it was all so perfect that one could confidently bet that even their heartbeats were in sync.

an owl came knocking its beak on the window above the bed theyre on, breaking the gentle yet majestically peaceful the state they were in. sirius shifted slightly in his sleep, opening his eyes to find uninvited sunlight penetrating right through his eyeballs. the owl made another knock on the window trying to grab their attention.

"fine okay" sirius said rasply, he got up sitting upright opening the window for that stupid owl that interrupted his sleep. the owl had two parcels tied on its leg. sirius untied them and the owl flew out at once.

"whos that from?" a raspy voice spoke he immediately knew it was remus.

"um, i think its" he turned the parcel around to see if there was any name, he smiled when he saw the senders name.

"yep, its from prongs" he said looking at remus who also smiled warmly.

"well, we'll open it later, lets just get up quickly now before we miss breakfast" he said, sitting up right and sliding his legs out of the bed. the two boys changed into their normal clothes. remus got into a hand knitted sweater and pants, sirius also got into a baggy sweatshirt and sloppily tied his hair up.

"pads is that mine?" remus smiled looking at the sweater sirius was wearing.

"maybe" sirius replied with a cheeky tone.

"course it is" remus rolled his eyes. "you literally have the biggest closet out of all of us, yet youre never wearing your shit" sirius gave him a weird look.

"not that i mind it darling" remus said softly, playing with sirius' hair slightly. they both left the dormitory and walked down to the common room with the intention to leave to the great hall, however they were met by a small table that was put in front of the fireplace with breakfast food laying on it. they looked at each other exchanging weird looks.

"there was no point of making you leave the common room only to go down and eat when its only you too in the whole school" professor mcgonagall's voice spoke. she was sitting on an armchair wearing her usual green dressing gown. "well anyway, im going down to have breakfast with the rest of the teachers. you two have a merry christmas" she smiled slightly and left the common room.

remus and sirius were just left there standing stupidly in front of the food table.

"well, i guess we're not leaving. sit down lets eat im starving" sirius said sitting himself down and starting to eat toast. they both ate until they were full and just laid on their armchairs to take their breath.

"wanna open the parcel prongs sent?" remus asked after ten minutes of silence.

"uhh sure" sirius said, getting the parcels, handing remus one box and he opened the other one. he tore the wrapping and opened it, a smile breaking on his face.

"he got me a wand polishing set. oh and look, he got me some hair bands" remus laughed a little. sirius put the hair bands in his wrist.

"what are you laughing at, i love it" sirius smiled "what did he get you?"

"he got me part six of 'crows or crowns'. its my favorite book and he knows i couldn't find that volume anywhere" remus' face wore a very big smile from that present. "oh and look! he got me a vest, it's beautiful"

"i'll be wearing that" sirius said at once

"of course darling you can wear it whenever"

"remus open my gift!" sirius said with so much excitement, remus held the huge box wondering what he has inside. he stared at sirius before opening it, unsure of what will meet him when he opens it. his suspicion grew larger when he was met by a cheeky smiling sirius.

"its not gonna blow up in my face right?" remus laughed a little

"only one way to find out" sirius shrugged

"oh god" remus joked. he opened the box and the first thing he saw was a big box inside labeled 'book polishing kit' remus' face fell with shock.

"sirius! sirius is this a book polishing kit? oh my god" he was gasping. sirius felt his cheeks burn by the fond expression on remus' face.

"holy shit pads where did you get this, these are so rare and expensive" he held it close to his face examining it with so much excitement.

"shhh its a gift" sirius was kind of embarrassed fora reason he doesnt know. "theres more stuff"

remus looked inside the box and laughed out loudly when he saw at least a doesnt bars of chocolate.

"what are you laughing at! this is the muggle chocolate you told me you like" sirius said flustered a little.

"yes yes i love it" remus smiled. "thank you"

sirius shrugged, not knowing what to say in situations like this.

"um, right open my gift" remus said looking nervous. remus' gift was something a little different and not very expected, he spent a lot of time thinking whether its a good idea or not. hes so nervous for sirius to see it, he felt his stomach lurch so badly he might vomit. he handed sirius an a4 piece of parchment that was folded into quarters. sirius gave him a confused yet excited look.

"are you giving me your transfiguration homework as a christmas gift moony" he joked.

"oh shut up and open it" every fibre in remus' body was screaming in anticipation and nerves. sirius unfolded the paper and read:

"dear sirius,

i am writing this in the dormitory for the fifteenth time at least. i thought so much about this and decided that its perfect. six years ago when i laid eyes on you for the first time, you had this aura that carried so much charm, something about your stupid gorgeous personality was so seductive and made me in complete lust for you. there aren't enough words in the english language to explain how you make me feel, nothing will come close to describing how i feel when you slip in bed with me every night, when i play with your hair, when i hear your heartbeats, when i hold your hand and stroke it with my thumb, when you kiss my scars, when you sit next to me in class sit there looking pretty doing nothing. i came to the conclusion that every little thing you do has me in utter awe. no one has ever made me feel like that, for a long time i was so confused as to why and how you could do that so effortlessly. i was confused about how i felt about you for so long, i was so confused about myself, and you helped me come to terms with who i am, by being so unapologetically you. at the end of a hard day you're always there to cheer me up, even in my darkest days, when nothing felt like it'll be okay ever again, you're always fucking here to change that. the number of times you've saved my life sirius, i couldnt tell you, by just merely being here. i figured that no matter what happens and no matter where life takes me, i want to always be with you. i never want to see that day i have to depart you, i dont ever see it coming because not even the strongest force from the gods above will make me leave you. im in love with you. im so fucking in love you idiot. im in love with the way you talk, the way you tie your hair, the way you dress, the way your eyes crease when you smile, your bark like laugh, your stupid jokes that i find funny unironically, your chirped nail polish... just in love with you. so sirius, this is me asking, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

sirius read the letters at least three times to make sure he wasnt missing anything, to make sure he was reading it correctly. was remus asking him out? was remus actually in love with him? none of this felt real. sirius felt like he's seeing stars in his vision, like he was going to pass out any second right now. he looked up at remus who was staring attentively on him and watching his every reaction. he met eyes with him and felt like all the worlds oxygen was being drained.

"so?" remus asked, his voice quivering.

"so?" he repeated as if this was a incredulous thing so say, " fuck yes i wanna be your boyfriend" sirius threw himself on remus on his armchair and splattered him with kissed everywhere he could reach.

"i never thought id be the lucky person to actually end up dating you" sirius breathed

"please, im the lucky one here" remus rolled his eyes.

"i mean hell yeah you are" sirius said sarcastically.

the pair of them spent the rest of the day sitting on the armchair cuddled up with the heat of each other, sharing soft intimate touches every now and then. they spent the whole day in peace and delicacy and made the most out of each other’s company. soon enough before they knew it, the holidays were over and students were returning to hogwarts for their second term.

“hi remus! hey sirius, good holiday? how are you two?” james showered them with questions enthusiastically when they saw him come in the gryffindor common room, he seemed to be in a cheerful mood.

“yea, great holiday” remus mumbled finding himself an armchair and sitting in it. the rest followed and sat on armchairs around him but sirius sat on his lap which remus scooted over a little to make space for him. james and lily looked at each other rolling their eyes playfully but happy that theyre on good terms, unlike the last time they saw them.

“what about you two? and you wormy? how was ur holiday” remus asked calmly, playing with sirius’ hair absentmindedly.

“great we had a great a time, i invited lily and wormy over, wormy couldnt make it though. but lily and i had fun, my parents liked her a lot” james smirked looking at her. “obviously they knew her because i always talked about her to them, but they’ve never really- woah WOAH” james’ speach was cut abruptly when he saw sirius attach his lips to remus’ and remus kissed him back fondly. they all exchanged shocked looks but they werent too shocked, they knew something was happening between the pair of them.

“woah guys” james laughed as they broke the kiss apart and giggled at their reaction.

“yea um, remus and i are dating” sirius said, lookinh flustered slightly. remus was still playing with his hair softly.

“does that mea we can go on double dates?” james said at once

“james potter i am not going on double dates with you and sirius thank you very much” lily said sarcastically.

“suit yourself, james and i are going on dates” sirius shrugged

“james and you are what-“ lily looked confused but cant help a laugh.

“thats right evans” sirius said in a dignified tone.

“dont you talk to my girlfriend like that black!” remus said at once. they all laughed at the sitiuation but lily said with a serious voice, “guys im so happy for you, youre finally together” she smiled wamrly. remus and sirius scooted closer next to each other smiling back at her.

“really proud of my mates” james said, trying to keep a serious tone but smirking at the same time.

[hypmic-writings]

hello!!!!!! id like to request fluff headcanons of jiro, dice, and jyushis s/o (separately) playing and styling with their hair!! thank you for your hard work and i hope youre staying well and healthy!!

━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━

Pairing: Jiro Yamada x Reader; Dice Arisugawa x Reader; Jyushi Aimono x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

A/N: Wait this is so cute? I wanna play with someone’s hair! Thank you for allowing me to gather these fluffly thoughts and thank you for the well-wishes! Hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them~

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Jiro Yamada 

you’re just hanging out at his house, laying on the couch while he’s sitting on the floor right in front of you

you get a little curious about what his hair feels like right now so you take off his cap and toss it aside to run your hands through it

at first he’s surprised and is asking why you’re touching his hair

but you just tell him to hush and stay still

his hair is probably a little greasy, but still fairly soft

he definitely has hat hair though because he wears his cap all the time

he sits like that for a little while as you play with his hair and although you can tell that he’s tense at first, once you start massaging his scalp, he relaxes under your touch

you ask if his hair has always been styled like this and he just sort of hums, saying that he’s never bothered to do anything differently with it

you make it a note to fantasize about what Jiro would look like with either shorter or longer hair 

eventually you decide to do something with his hair stylistically, so you pull out your extra rubber band and get to work

when you’re done putting it up in a ponytail you tell him to go look in the mirror and he’s already on his feet running to the bathroom

you can hear him ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ from your place on the couch and you just smile as he comes back out to you with a grin on his face

“Y/N, this looks so good! I should leave it like this for a while, right?”

“Yea, I mean, I like it!” 

he’s definitely excited by the prospect of being able to change hair styles, especially if you’re the one who does it for him

he keeps it like that for the rest of the day

and even for a while after that whenever the two of you are together he’ll ask if you can style his hair for him again

his friends at school always ask where he’s getting his hair done, but he just grins and boasts that he has the best stylist

you can never say no because he just looks so happy when he asks you 

Dice Arisugawa

Dice gets really excited when the two of you are cuddling on the couch together and you lean over to play with his hair

he’ll practically be like a puppy, leaning into your touch and asking for more of what basically turn out to be headpats

you won’t deny him though and you’ll keep running your hands softly through his hair 

he doesn’t really mind if you mess up his hair because he’s just happy for the skinship

his hair is a little bit on the longer side, so you keep twirling pieces of it on your finger and letting it spiral out

Dice tells you that he’s always had longer hair ever since he ran away from home because he was only allowed short hair when he was young

you ask him about the tassle with the little dice on it but he just brushes you off and says that’s a long story, but that it’s a good luck charm so he can never take it off of his hair

this leads you to think of other styles his hair could have 

eventually the two of you are sitting in the bathroom with lots of rubberbands all around the floor

when you finally let Dice look in the mirror he’s astonished to see that you managed to get his long hair half down and half into a bun

the both of you just kind of stare at it for a while because you know how pretty he looks but you’re waiting for him to say something

eventually he breaks into a grin and immediately goes off about how amazing he looks

“It looks so traditional and classic! I should show it off to Gentaro, I bet he’ll get jealous with how cool it is!”

“Oooh, yea, maybe I can do his hair too!”

Dice promptly shuts down that idea though, because he’s the only one that’s allowed to have his hair styled by you

you laugh and tug on one of the strands still resting on his shoulder, pulling him into you to kiss his cheek

and reassuring him that you won’t play with anyone else’s hair but his

Jyushi Aimono

Jyushi’s just laying his head on your lap, facing the tv as the two of you are relaxing when you reach down to play with his hair

as soon as your fingers even touch his head, he’s bolting upright into a sitting position and glaring at you with wide eyes

he whines and asks what you’re doing and proceeds to tell you that he spends hours every morning perfecting his hair

and that if you try to touch it, it’ll get messed up 

so you just shrug and cross your arms, saying that you guess he doesn’t want any head rubs from you

there’s a moment of silence before Jyushi is clearing his throat 

“Well, I suppose we could style it...together...”

your hands immediately latch onto his long locks and you’re not surprised to find out that his hair is incredibly soft and well-cared for

he lets you play with it for a little while and secretly really likes it before standing up and telling you to follow him into the bathroom

he proudly shows off his massive array of hair products and when you ask if you can style it for him, he’s frozen in place

you promise you won’t do anything permanent and that you’ll even help him wash his hair afterwards

he eventually agrees and you have a field day going through all of his products and basically playing with his hair as much as possible

you decide to do a rather intricate braid that’s tight, but still allows his hair to flow down over his shoulder to the front

when he starts crying that he wants to see what you’re doing and that you better not be ruining his beautiful hair, you just hush him and tell him to wait until you’re done

once you finish, he’s running to the mirror - you watch his eyes widen and for a moment you’re worried that he hates it

but then he’s crying and saying that his hair looks so pretty and that he’s sorry he ever doubted you

you simply chuckle and throw an arm around him, pulling him into a hug 

he demands that you show his stylist how you made his hair like this and even mentions that he wants to wear it like this to a show

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[bxmgyu]

Can I request txt having a short s/o like 160-155cm

txt reaction: having a short s/o

Yeonjun

would rest his hands on your shoulders a lot and walk behind you

i think yeonjun is a really protective person

and there are unique ways like that in which he’d be protective over you if you’re a shortie!!

whenever you have to reach for literally anything he won’t even let you try

even when you’re out in public and at the grocery store

you’ll be looking up at the isles and he’ll ask you what you want

and you’ll be like ummm ok i want that

and he’ll have one hand on your back as the other effortlessly reaches up to grab you what you wanted

comes up from behind you and wraps his arms around you and rests his head on top of yours

sometimes it messes up your hair and you get mad

which doesn’t help because he just thinks you’re cute as hell when you’re mad (over something trivial)

you’ll be cleaning when he does it to you and when he walks away you can practically feel your hair standing up

“yeonjun, what the hell?! how did you even do that???”

turns you completely around to face him and walks up close to you so his body is pressed against yours

he’s literally looking down at you and you’re having to tilt your head back to look up at him and he loves it

it’s hard for you to look angry when you’re looking up at him with big eyes. like holy shit you are cute

“do what, baby?”

yeah, that didn’t work

Soobin

he thinks you are TINY and he will NOT hesitate to say it

literally says you’re cute to your face ALL THE TIME even if it flusters him to say it he cannot help it

he just thinks you’re the cutest little thing that he has to take care of

even if you’re an outgoing and fierce person he still sees you as like. an angry little bunny lol

before you got to know each other really well, you commented on how big his hands were

and he was like “they’re not that big! look give me your hand.”

and when you held your hand up to his he realized you were TINY AF

he immediately burst into giggles and held your hand in his much to your embarrassment

“aaahhh you really are so tiny!” he covers his mouth with his other hand that’s not holding yours. “you’re so cute!!”

his ears turned red but he still kept going. “how tall are you? woa so small!”

yeah, it was always obvious as hell that he liked you lmao

LIVES for seeing you in his hoodies

at first he tried to be really subtle about it

he would offer his jackets and hoodies to you when it was cold

but eventually he literally just asked you to wear them and told you he thought you were cute in them

and when his eyes light up when he comes home to see you on the couch in his hoodie with sweater paws?

and he nearly tackles you in a hug and curls your body up so he can hold as much of you as possible?

how can you say no??????

Beomgyu

you know this little shit would tease you

when you first ask him if you can reach something for him he’s confused

but then when he realizes you can’t reach it he’s like OH MY GOD you’re SO SHORT

“obviously, i know that!”

“it’s cute,” he winks, gives you your mug, and walks away just like that

absolutely uses this against you

will store your favorite mugs on the top shelf on purpose

and not give them to you unless you give him a kiss first!!!!

however, he is the ONLY one allowed to call you short

if anyone ever makes fun of you for it...

well honestly they won’t even get that far before he interjects

speaking of which, whenever you’re upset, he babies you a little 🥺

i think he would do this regardless of how tall you are but... if you’re short, he might be more inclined to do it

aahhhh the way he’d pull you into his arms, your head resting against his chest as he shushed your cries

“who hurt my baby?”

even though you’re physically small or weaker than others, he still thinks you’re one of the strongest people he knows

Taehyun

he honestly finds it funny LMAOO

he knows he’s not the tallest of the group so it just takes him out that you’re EVEN shorter than him

doesn’t necessarily call you tiny or anything but he always notices things

like when you’re sitting in your chair and your feet don’t touch the ground

he laughs and tells you how cute you look doing that

which is honestly funny to you too because you were literally just sitting there not even thinking about it

so yea may not seem like it sometimes but.... he notices EVERYTHING.... homeboy is WHIPPED

when you wear pants that are too long for you, he notices that also

you can’t help but get a little embarrassed “yeah i know, it’s because i’m too short for them, this always happens...”

“no but i like how you roll them up. i think it’s cute, it’s your style.”

“...really?” You ask, because no one has ever really said that to you before

Walks up to you and brushes your hair behind your ears before kissing your forehead “really. It’s just another thing that makes you unique that I like about you.”

so even if he laughs at you, he also makes you feel good about yourself <3

Huening Kai

another one who won’t shut UP about how cute you are

will pinch your cheeks and go “aaaahhh my baby is so cute!!”

you know he thinks you’re being cute whne the pet names come out, because he’s usually too embarrassed or just doesn’t think to say them

would get too excited and overwhelmed by your cuteness and pinch your cheeks TOO hard

“hyuka— that’s starting to hurt—“

BOY does he panic

“ahhh oh no I’m sorry!!” he holds your face in his hands and starts caressing your cheeks with his thumbs instead

he’s still grinning wide and leans in to give a small peck to your nose

also loves when you wear his hoodies except he gives them to you from the start

even if they’re not necessarily big on you, he just loves the feeling of your tiny self wearing something that’s his

likes to hug you from behind like yeonjun, except he rests his head on your shoulder

and if you’re not in public, or when nobody’s looking,,, he’ll peck your cheek REALLY QUICK

but that’s all he can manage before he turns as red as a tomato

even though you’re shorter than him, he still uses your shoulder to hide his face in

for as much as he boasts about how much taller he is than you, he’s still shy as hell about it lol