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[zmalkarnar1]

What About Us? Part II: Oikawa x Male Reader

Here is the second part of the Oikawa x Male reader I posted the other week. Wasn’t satisfied leaving it where it was. 

Again, if you aren’t ahead in the manga there are spoilers. Enjoy.

“Iwa-chan, I have to get this done!”

“No. You need a break Y/n.” Iwaizumi said, pulling Y/n away from his computer and through his pigsty apartment.

“But Iwaizumi, just another thirty minutes...no, just another hour and I can be done with this piece,” Y/n whined, pulling back towards his pc. 

“Y/n, we agreed to meet with Hanamaki and Matsukawa for lunch. We would’ve been there already, but I swear you’re as bad as Trashykawa, forgetting everything except your art.”

“Just a little bit, I just need a little more time,” Y/n pleaded, trying to pull away from Iwaizumi.

“Y/n. I will carry your ass outside and drag you by your ear.”

“But Iwa-chan…”

“Now,” he said, arms crossed, exasperated as if he was dealing with a child. He probably was. Y/n wilted under Iwaizumi’s gaze, and slowly got up, shoulders slouched. Iwaizumi hung his arm around him. 

“It’ll be fine. Some time with friends will do you good.

Giving d/n a pat goodbye, Y/n let Iwaizumi lead the way to the restaurant they had promised to meet their friends. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, Y/n’s eyes gazed at the surrounding cityscape, the final vestiges of winter fading away as the new birth of spring sprouted forward. Iwaizumi was right; he needed a break. Though he’d never admit it to his friend. Even his walks with d/n have been little more than fever dreams to him, everything was focused back on his work.

“Man, it's nice out. You should have told me the weather was this great,” Y/n teased knowing full well Iwaizumi had done just that.

Iwaizumi stopped and stared deadpan at Y/n. He’d forgotten that Y/n was sometimes just as bad as Oikawa, well, not quite as bad. At least, he’s gotten worse ever since they left high school. Iwaizumi always let it slide; he figured it was how Y/n dealt with all the stress piling up on him. Y/n was always cheerful, and a bit of a tease, but Iwaizumi knew that more often than not, it was a façade, a smokescreen. He was hiding his pain, just like he did in high school. Iwaizumi wasn’t fooled however. 

“You’re really tired, aren’t you?”

“Huh? No more than normal,” Y/n said, that ghost of a smile returning to his face. “Why’d you ask? Worried about me?”

“Yes, I am. Trashykawa told me how you’ve been working yourself into a mental breakdown,” 

“Oikawa, that snitch!” Y/n cursed under his breath. He should have known Tooru was going to rat on him to Iwaizumi. 

“Yea, he is, but you really can’t keep on like this. Ever since he went back to Argentina you’ve been even more of a recluse. You barely even check your texts!” Iwaizumi said

Y/n sighed, letting his walls lip for a moment. Iwaizumi was right. He was always consumed with work. He loved his aft, his animation. He loved that his work was enjoyed and held dear to thousands around the world. Despite the high demands of his employers, and the fact he barely survives week to week, he still loved art. But now it was something else.

Ever since he had met Tooru that winter, it's like he was woken up from a trance. After they left high school, all throughout college, everything had happened so fast. His mother sick, his father leaving; Y/n was exhausted and broken down. Before Oikawa showed up, he was barely alive, just walking through each day, one after the other, barely recognizing the world around him. He had lost so much, and, Y/n admitted, work allowed him an excuse to bury his exhaustion and pain deep inside, trapped behind a wall so thick he became numb to the emotions roiling inside of him. His pain and tears hidden away, his work was the perfect escape, despite the endless tasks his job required. It was his way to shy away from the world. Better to be busy than alone. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t cry, or feel the loss of his family, he just didn’t want to confront it, not alone like he was. He didn’t want to feel so hollow, so torn, alone. So he worked, and worked, until Tooru showed up on his evening walk one winter day, and the dam that had begun to leak from overwork and exhaustion burst. His memories and old feelings he left unresolved boiling to the surface. And now he couldn’t get his mind off of Oikawa. Oikawa, who sent him a text encouraging him each day, a word of support awaiting him on his phone each morning as he woke. 

And every week, Tooru found time to call him, sharing volleyball stories and giving Y/n a chance to destress from work. Each call happened during Y/n’s waking hours, which meant Oikawa must have been getting up at ungodly hours just for a chat. With Y/n’s unresolved feelings with Tooru came all his damned emotions, threatening to tear him apart, and the last thing he wanted to do was show weakness to his friends again.

So, Y/n did the only thing he knew, throwing himself into a job that was slowly killing him. He stopped responding immediately to Oikawa’s morning texts. He let the past two calls go to voicemail. Too busy with work, deadlines with animes being pushed up. He could talk next week.

Y/n vaguely remembered talking with Oikawa for a few minutes before making a weak excuse about work again. In truth, he really didn’t want to handle these emotions right now, and as stressful as work could be, his art allowed him to be numb and bury them all away.  But since Tooru kept coming back, it was getting harder and harder to hold them in check.

“You know Y/n, you’re going to have to deal with your feelings and emotions eventually,” Iwaizumi said

Y/n stumbled, “What? What do you mean?”

“Even a blind man can see that you’re hiding your feelings for Oikawa behind your work. You’ve done that for years. You’re going to have to face him eventually.” Iwaizumi said, shrugging. Perhaps Y/n wasn’t as good an actor as he thought. 

“This coming from you? All your emotion is wrapped up in violence,” Y/n scoffed.

“At least I’m a stable, functioning adult.”

“Hey! I’m functioning!” Y/n argued

“You’d forget to buy food if I didn’t stop around every once and a while.”

“That only happened once!”

“It’s not my fault the two of you have the emotional intelligence of a toddler.” Iwaizumi said

“Iwa-chan, so mean” Y/n whined in imitation of Oikawa

“Don’t be like him or I’ll whack you!” Iwaizumi laughed, “Anyways, you really are going to need to find some way to work through your emotions. You’ve held in everything that’s happened since high school and your mother’s death. Consider this an intervention.”

“I know,” Y/n said, aware that he was right. “Food first. Emotions can wait.” Forever, if Y/n had his choice. “How’s work with the national team going?”

“It’s busy. Honestly, I’m always a little worried that Ushijima is going to break Hinata’s face one of these days at the rare times the team is actually together.”

“Must be fun though,” Y/n hummed. 

Y/n let Iwaizumi ramble on about his work, glad to be off the topic of the emotional wreck that is his life. He didn’t really listen, and he knew Iwaizumi could tell, but he couldn’t focus on the words. Oikawa was back in his head, and he kept wondering when he’d be able to move past it all. 

By the time they made their way to the restaurant, Maki and Mattsun were already there. They already had drinks. Apparently they’d been waiting a while. How late was he? As he went to sit next to Iwaizumi, Makki was already teasing him.

“You know, I remember when you’d get all flustered why you were even a minute late to class,”

Y/n blushed, “Oh shut up Makki. At least I passed all my classes. What was your Algebra II grade again?”

“He’s right. Remember when Y/n panicked when he forgot about the English test?” Mattsun said,

“Oh, I won’t forget that,” Iwaizumi laughed, slapping Y/n on the back, “Was so afraid of failing he skipped class, hiding in a broom closet, and somehow managed to lock himself in.”

“Stop it!” Y/n whined, “I left my work for this!” The others just laughed. It was all in good fun, he knew. 

As their food came and went, Y/n allowed himself to step away from work and enjoy an afternoon with old friends. He still kept his walls up though. He was strong enough to not fall apart in front of his friends. 

“So how is Oikawa?” Mattsun asked, bringing up the topic that Y/n had been purposely avoiding for the entire lunch.

“He’s fine, I guess.” Y/n said, “Big game coming up in a week or two.”

“You guess? Aren’t you talking to him every week?” Makki asked

“Y/n here has been ghosting him because he’s afraid that he likes him again,” Iwaizumi teased

“Iwa-chan, stop it!”

“Oh, stop pretending you don’t care for him. We can all tell you’re still inexplicably obsessed with Oikawa.”

“Stop it!” Y/n begged, a slight blush forming, “Can we change the topic. Please?”

“Ok, we’ll stop teasing you. For now.” Iwaizumi said, as Y/n nodded gratefully. 

Y/n left the restaurant with Iwaizumi, heading back to take d/n for his afternoon walk to the park.

“What are you going to do Y/n? You really can’t keep on like this.”

“I know. I’ll figure something out. Thanks Iwa-chan,”

“I can walk with you and d/n for a bit if you want,” Iwaizumi said, “I have nothing else planned today,”

“No thanks. I need to think this through on my own,” Y/n said, waving farewell to Iwaizumi.

And then he was alone again, walking d/n down the very path that brought him to his fateful reunion with this old boyfriend, and shattered the illusion he had been living under. If he could even call it living.

“What do I do, d/n?” Y/n whispered, scratching the dog’s ears before throwing his tennis ball again, watching d/n rush through the dog park after it. 

I still like him. God I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

Y/n took a seat on the new spring growth of grass as d/n came bounding back to him. The animal, sensing Y/n’s discomfort, sat down next to him and dropped his head on Y/n’s shoulder. 

Y/n chuckled, scratching his ears again, “Thanks d/n.”

Sitting together with d/n, Y/n knew what he had to do. Before he did anything else, he needed to resolve things with Oikawa, however they played out. He took out his phone and rang Iwaizumi. He was going to need a big favor. 

Oikawa sat down in the locker room before the game. It was the biggest game of the year. Biggest game since the Olympics the previous summer. This game would decide if him and his team would enter into the Men's Volleyball Club World Championship Tournament. Tobio was sure to be there. Oikawa would too, in order to show his former underclassmen that he was now the superior setter.

Yet for the first time, his mind wasn’t entirely on the game. No matter how he tried to settle in and prepare as normal, his thoughts drifted back to Y/n./ Y/n had been ghosting him. Not fully, but even when they did talk, he had been distant and full of excuses in order to slip away. And then suddenly he texted saying they had something they needed to talk about. 

Oikawa was worried. Has something happened? Had he pushed too hard? He wanted to give him space, but he was worried for his old friend. His love. Was Y/n okay, or was it that he just didn’t want to talk with Oikawa anymore? Was their relationship truly and fully broken? Never had Oikawa been so distracted from volleyball. He knew he dealt with the break up by throwing himself further into the game. But now that he’d had that chance meeting, he couldn’t deny it; he still loved Y/n. Because no matter what happened, he was always the one who supported his volleyball dream, and was there for every win and every loss. He left the locker room, his thoughts still lost and confused. 

Y/n cheered, poster in hand, as the players emerged onto the court to warm up. He had watched the Olympic games, but this was his first time seeing a league game. It’s not like they showed Argentine Volleyball League games in Japan. When the game started, he only had eyes for Oikawa

Tooru’s game was off. Y/n could tell that something was bothering him. He could see him make mistakes, however slight, preventing his team from getting into a rhythm. A toss too high, one too close to the net. The game was still close, but Tooru’s team just couldn’t seem to take the lead. Y/n felt a little guilty. Was it him, his ghosting, his late night message, throwing his old friend off?

It can’t be. Nothing has ever broken his focus from Volleyball before…

Oikawa muttered to himself. He wasn’t playing well. By no means was it bad, but his tosses refused to leave his hands the way they should. They were always just a touch off. Too low here, too far from the net there. And then he’d scramble, overcompensating for the next one. And his team became unhinged. 

Their receives became shaky, and their spikes wild as they began to rush. A setter's job was to restore balance to his team. That’s what Blanco would have done. But today, Oikawa was spinning them closer and closer to disaster. He was the farthest he’d ever been from reaching his goal. He couldn’t get Y/n off his mind. Even his serves faltered.

They went down the first set. It was okay. It was only one set. The second they brought to a deuce, but fell a few rallies later. His chances of making the Club World Championship this year slipping further and further away. And still Y/n invaded his thoughts. They’d have to be perfect the rest of the match.

But things started off the same way. Oikawa’s first serve slamming down just outside the line. 0-1. The next few rallies were short, but slowly and surely they fell behind. 7-9. Oikawa’s toss went just a breadth too high again, and the spike was dug, blasting back down on their side of the court. 7-10. The serve came at them, their libero flying it high up above the team. A good receive, if a little off center. Under it right away, Tooru set it to his middle blocker, already in the air. It was good, and the quick passed through the block, only to be dug before it could reach the floor. Back at them, barely dug, Oikawa’s team scrambled to get it over, a chance ball for their opponents. The toss flew up, the block in place and shutting down the avenues of attack. The spike came down hard anyways, blasting off the block and heading towards the stands.

Oikawa was after it a split second later, diving into the group towards the sign boards, he blasted the ball back up in the air to his team. But as he scrambled up, something in the second row caught his eyes. He usually ignored the crowds during games like these, but a poster was written in Japanese, and he couldn’t help but stop to read it, even as his team were barely treading enough water to keep their heads above the stormy surf of the match. 

Go Tooru, Go. Rule the Court.

Only one person would create a banner like that for him. Still on his knees, he brought his gaze up and me e/c eyes sparkling down at him, Y/n’s smile full and invigorating, cheering his name. “Go Tooru, go!”

Oikawa froze. His mind went blank. Every time he tried to bring it back to the game, it fell apart. Only one thought remained. 

Y/n is here. Cheering for me. In Argentina, in the front rows, watching and cheering for me. He came all the way across the globe to watch me play.

For the first time that he could remember, Oikawa completely forgot about volleyball as the rally ended, him still staring up at Y/n. He completely forgot about volleyball. At that moment the only thought going through his mind was that no matter what happened, him and Y/n were going to be okay. Then he heard his voice again, screaming over the crowd. 

“Remember Tooru, the team strongest as a group of six is the stronger team!” Y/n called out. 

All the frustration and worries wracking his mind fell away and he was back into the game. With Y/n at his back, nothing could go wrong. And he remembered Iwa-chan’s words. Stronger as a group of six. He’d been trying to force everything on his own, just like when he was a kid.

Tooru stood up, shaking his head and dusting off his jersey. Looking back up to Y/n he gave him the warmest smile he could and a simple nod. Then, he was back to the game.

“Sorry,” he said to his team as he returned to the court, “but I’m back now.”

His team only nodded, seeing something change in his eyes, and the match truly began.

Y/n looked down into Tooru’s dazzling brown eyes, eyes he always seemed to get lost in. Then he realized the rally was still going on, and Tooru was still on his yankees, staring up at him as if he were a phantom. Y/n’s heart fluttered and a tear threatened to fall from his eyes. Had Tooru really forgotten about the rally? For him? Indeed, when the ball finally slammed down a moment later, Tooru was still looking up at him. Yes, Tooru really did forget about volleyball for him. Maybe, just maybe, this could work.

Maybe he does think about me as much as I think of him.

Then he was on his feet and flashed Y/n the brightest, most genuine smile he’d even seen from Tooru, his eyes enrapturing for a moment. As Tooru nodded to him, returning to his team, Y/n knew he still liked Oikawa Tooru, and it was okay. 

The rest of the game flew by and Tooru melted into the match. With Y/n’s eyes at his back, he and his team flowed into each set and roared back to life, ruling the court. And every few points, Tooru turned to lock eyes with Y/n, to ensure he was still there, that he wasn’t a dream plaguing his mind. It only helped to serve to rekindle Y/n’s feelings for the brunette. It wasn’t just about volleyball. Maybe it never was.

Oikawa’s serve slammed down for another ace, ending the fifth and final set. Y/n cheered him on as his team won entrance to the Club World Championship. After celebrating with this team, Tooru ran over towards the stands, yelling for Y/n, but it was hard to hear over the screams of the crowd. Y/n took out his phone and pointed to it, screaming “Call me later!”

Y/n knew he had to spend some time working with his team, but knew Tooru got the message as he nodded and waved before trotting off. Y/n could wait one more time. He could wait once more. When Tooru was done with his team he’d come for Y/n and then...then they’ll see. Leaving the stadium, Y/n made his way to his motel, to await Tooru’s call.

What am I doing here? Halfway across the world? To do what? Confess I still love him? Why’d I let Iwaizumi get into my head?

Y/n sat in his motel room, doubt beginning to wrack his mind. He had rejected Oikawa, ultimately, by refusing to come with him again. And now, here he was, in Argentina, unable to speak the language, with no idea what he was doing, following erupting emotions he never dealt with and can no longer control. In fact, they were driving him crazy, he needed to deal with this. All he could do was wait, and he hated it. 

Oikawa joined his team in their locker room. They were already celebrating, jostling each other and him, but Oikawa had thoughts only for Y/n. Even their post game meeting was a blur to him. As it ended, Tooru immediately grabbed his phone. It was flooded with pictures from his game, including a few of him on all fours gazing in disbelief up at Y/n.

“Iwa-chan will love this one,” the message below the picture read.

No! I can’t let him send that to Iwa-chan. He’d tease me for weeks.

Tooru rushed out of the locker room, not even bothering to change, his team looking at his back knowingly. He was lucky it was a home game. Even as he rushed to his car, his phone was already dialing Y/n’s number. 

“Y/n, where are you at?”

“Back at my motel,” Y/n answered

“Where? I’m coming!”

With Y/n’s motel and room number, Oikawa hit the roads of San Juan to find him.

Y/n waited. Tooru was on his way. He needed to deal with this, whatever the result. But now that he was finally shifting through his emotions, the loss of his family, the loneliness, the stress of his dream tearing him apart, he began to falter. Now that he finally recognized his feelings for Tooru, he was afraid, terrified of what was to come. It made him miss the numbness of his work. 

He was scared Tooru didn’t want him like he hoped he did. He was terrified that he did, and it would fall apart. He was afraid of being weak in front of Tooru again. And with those thoughts rushing through his mind, his neurons firing doubt through his brain, Tooru arrived.

“Y/n, I’m here, open up!”

The door opened with a slow whisper, but Tooru burst in, slamming the door open past Y/n, engulfing his (shorter/taller) friend into a crushing bearhug.

“Y/n, I can’t believe you came! What are you doing here? I thought you had work!?”

“Can’t breathe. Tooru, let go.”

“Sorry. But why are you here?”

“You’re all sweaty too! Couldn’t you have at least changed out of your uniform,” Y/n whined as Tooru finally let him down.

“I just had to rush over. I didn’t want you waiting for a second longer. So? I thought you didn’t want to leave Japan? Did you enjoy the game? Thanks for coming!”

“One question at a time Tooru,” Y/n laughed, “like I texted, there’s something we need to talk about. And I wanted to do it in person.” 

“So, what is so important you had to fly across the globe for me?” Tooru teased

Here Y/n began to stutter, and then stop. He couldn’t do this. 

“You aren’t ready yet, are you?”

Y/n shook his head.

“That’s okay. I can wait,” Tooru said, his voice quiet and gentle, stepping back to give Y/n a little space. “How about we go grab some food and head to my place. I have a spare bedroom. Might be more comfortable than this dirty motel,”

“Y/n only nodded, grabbing his stuff.”

“Hungry?”

“Starving. I used just about all of my spending money on the plane and game ticket. I haven’t had much for food.” Y/n admitted.

“That’s some planning,” Tooru laughed, “You used to try to have every detail planned out.

“Oh, shut up and drive.”

The two made their way to Oikawa’s place, eating the takeout Tooru had ordered and picked up on the way. 

“How’d you get off work?”

“I, uh...spent an all nighter, or two in order to catch up. Maybe three? I don’t really remember much of it. Iwa-chan was less than pleased.” Y/n admitted, scowling when he remembered the scolding Iwaizumi had given him.

“I bet he wasn’t. What did he do?”

“Nothing fun. Speaking of Iwaizumi though, you’re a snitch. You told him,” Y/n accused. 

“What? Me? I never!” Oikawa argued, dramatically trying to protest his innocence, his arms flailing around wildly.

“Hands on the wheel! I know you told him!”

“Fine, I did.” Tooru sighed, his tone getting serious, “I was worried.”

“It’s okay. I got payback.” 

“What?”

“Iwaizumi and crew are going to love some of those photos,” Y/n said, smiling

“You didn’t! Please tell me you didn’t Y/n!”

“Oh, I did. Expect some hard core teasing,” Y/n laughed as Oikawa groaned.

“Come on, we’re just about there.” 

To Y/n’s surprise, Oikawa’s apartment was very nice, and immaculate. Y/n imagined it would be a disaster area, much like it was when they were kids. Maybe Oikawa had grown up a bit. More than Y/n had apparently.

Tooru jumped into the shower to clean up as Y/n settled into the spare bedroom, that night they watched a movie in relative silence and turned in. Taking out his phone, Y/n began texting Iwaizumi.

Y/n: I can’t do this Iwa-chan.

Iwaizumi: Y/n, you have to deal with this, and everything else. You can’t keep bottling it up.

Y/n: Iwa-chan, I’m scared

Iwaizumi: Do you still love him?

Y/n: I think so.

Iwaizumi: Then talk to him!

Y/n: But I don’t know. Does he still love me?

Iwaizumi: No buts! I saw that photo. He is, and always has been, completely in love with you.

Y/n: Ok, ok, I’ll tell him.

Iwaizumi: Good. If not I will fly over and beat both of you till you figure this out. 

Y/n slept alone in Oikawa’s spare room. He had it in case family visited, which they did from time to time. 

The following day, Oikawa took Y/n sight seeing through the city of San Juan. Y/n enjoyed the sights and spending time with Tooru. However, with each passing moment his stress and fear continued to build. His gaze shifted away and each time Oikawa could see it, breaking him, what Tooru knew he should have been able to see years ago. When the day came to a close, they found themselves back in Tooru’s apartment, sitting quietly on his couch. Tooru was going to give y/n as much time as he needed.

“Tooru, I…” Y/n stopped and sat back, an exhausted sigh breaking free. Tooru could tell he was holding back tears.

“If you’re not ready yet…”

“No.” Y/n interrupted, “It’s just...I never…” Y/n sniffled, choking back his tears. Tooru’s heart began to throb in pain. He wanted nothing more than to hold Y/n in his arms, to caress him, and make his pain and fears vanish into the night. But he didn’t want to push Y/n if he wasn’t ready. 

“Sorry. I promised myself i wouldn't cry,”

“You’re hurting still, aren’t you. It’s okay,” Tooru said, reaching his hand out to Y/n’s and squeezing it, hoping to reassure him. 

“I just didn’t want to be weak in front of you again. It’s always like this. I hate being so weak,”

“Weak? Y/n, you aren’t weak!” Tooru argued

“Yes, yes I am. All I do is hide from everything,”

“You’re the last person I’d call weak,” Tooru said, turning his h/c friend so he can look into his pained, but pretty e/c eyes. “Y/n, I’ve seen you push through school, with top marks, virtually alone. As your dad practically abandoned you, it was you who helped your mother, even as she was sick. You who, despite everything, came to school with a smile, never late, never missing an assignment, a club meeting or practice of yours, or a single one of my games. You bore everything on your shoulders alone, often to the detriment of your health. And never once did you complain or let it break you, never once did you allow yourself to show your pain to anyone. I know now, deep down, how much pain you were really in, and you hid it so well. I was completely oblivious to it, selfishly obsessed with my own doubts. Y/n, you are my definition of strength.

“Tooru,” Y/n whispered, no longer able to hold back his tears.

“And you know what. It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. It’s okay to let it out. That doesn’t make you weak. You’ve been my pillar so often, will you finally let your walls down with me?”

Y/n couldn’t hold it in anymore. He fell into Tooru’s chest sobbing. His unresolved emotions from his mother’s death, the stress from his deteriorating finances, even the anger he never really dealt with resolving Tooru, all of them came flooding to the surface. And, of course, the love he still felt and buried deep beneath his skin. He allowed it all to overwhelm him finally. He could deal with it as long as Tooru was there. 

Tooru held him, so gently, understanding that, despite how strong his love was, he was brittle and wounded, and whatever he needed, Tooru would provide. So he held him close and gentle as a babe and let Y/n cry it out. He rubbed his back when Y/n muttered, “I needed you, and you were never there.” Tooru understood. Part of this was because of him, because he failed to see how much pain Y/n was in during their third year.

“It’s okay, you can be vulnerable with me. I’ll never see you as any less.” Tooru whispered. “You can be as strong as you want, or as weak as you need to be Y/n, I’ll always be here. Just please, stop numbing yourself.”

They laid together until Y/n stopped crying. And then, as Y/n didn’t pull away, or talk, only snuggled closer to Tooru, he held him tighter. Together they remained in each other's arms until the early morning hours. 

Tooru smiled, looking down at Y/n who had fallen asleep in his arms. He was tired. Mentally drained. Tooru would be whatever Y/n needed to be. And he’d wait, however long it took, for Y/n to forgive him and return to this permanently. He stayed awake the entire time, running his hand slowly through Y/’s blonde locks. He continued to caress him until Y/n shook awake. It was nearly two a.m. 

“Tooru…” Y/n yawned, bringing his hands up to rub his eyes, “what time is it?” “Two a.m.”

“What!?” Y/n pulled away from him and Tooru freely let him pull away, already missing his warmth. “I thought I was just dozing off for a few minutes.”

“Oh, you dozed straight to sleep.” Tooru laughed

“Sorry,” Y/n said, turning away, “About this...I,”

Tooru interrupted him before he could go any further, “Again, it’s okay. I’ll be what you need me to be, and nothing more until you’re ready.”

Y/n nodded, sitting up straight, “We need to talk,”

“You ready?”

“Yea. About us.”

Tooru waited for Y/n to continue, but he went quiet. “What about us?”

“I don’t want to wait. For you. For you to finish with volleyball. To have room in your heart.”

“Y/n,” Tooru sighed, fear rising in his chest, afraid that Y/n was going to ask him to give up volleyball, to give him the ultimatum he always feared. He couldn’t choose between them, “I’m not going to stop my career,”

“I know. I don’t want you to. But I can’t wait either. I want more.”

“More?”

“I want to try again. With you. Us. I don’t want to wait. I can’t,” Y/n said, “So, is your offer still on the table?” “...you’re sure?” Tooru whispered, hoping that he wasn’t asleep on his couch, that this wasn’t just another nightmare meant to torture him.

“I am. I need to know. Ever since we met at New Years, everything came to a head.  Realize I was drowning myself in my work, using it as an excuse to ignore everything else. I did that in college too. I’ve ignored the feelings of my mothers death, my dream, and you. But when you showed up…I can’t do it anymore. But I need to know. I want more. Is there any way we can work? Yes or no, I need to know before I move on. That’s why I’m here. 

“You aren’t kidding right?”

“No. So, is your offer still open?”

“Yes!” Tooru yelled, pulling Y/n into another crushing bear hug and pulling Y/n down onto the couch on top of him. “Of course my offer is open. And I want nothing more than for us to work. But I can’t be here all the time either,”

Y/n looked away, fearful for just a moment,

“But, that said, if you give me the chance, I will do everything I can to make you feel loved, to be your pillar, to hold you when you need to be vulnerable. I won’t abandon you like before. I’m stronger now. I’ve learned to balance volleyball and the rest of my life. I can make this work. I promise.”

Y/n smiled. “Then maybe, maybe I’ll be alright,”

“Can I kiss you?” Tooru asked.

“Yes.”

Tooru flipped Y/n over so his back was on the couch, Tooru looming over him. He cupped Y/n’s cheeks, pulling them in together, locking their lips. And Y/n’s fears, his pain, they weren’t gone, it didn’t vanish in a puff of smoke like a fairy tale, but with Tooru he knew he could be weak. He could allow himself to feel again. With Tooru, he knew he just might be okay. 

As their lips parted, Y/n felt Tooru pick him up and carry them to his bedroom.

“You’re tired,” he said, gently placing Y/n on the bed and pulling the covers over them. “Rest now. We’ll get the details tomorrow. Sleep my darling, sleep.” Tooru pulled Y/n in close, head to his chest, and together they fell asleep in each other's arms.

“Y/n, don’t go! Not now! Please,” Tooru whined as Y/n tried to make his way to the airport security. 

“Tooru, I left d/n with Iwaizumi. I imagine he’s sick of the animal. Plus, I still have to wrap up a bunch of things before I can move.”

“But we just got together n/n,” Tooru whined, pulling Y/n in for a kiss, asking for entrance with his tongue, which Y/n denied.

“Not here. At home. When I return. Then you can have all you want,” Y/n teased

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“But what if I don’t want to wait?”

“It’ll be a few weeks still. I’ll come back and then we can have some fun,” Y/n said, teasing, moving to whisper in Tooru’s ear, “Then we can figure out whatever citizenship work we need to do if we decide this works.”

“Fine, fine. Just a couple of weeks. And call me every day!” Tooru whined, reluctantly letting go of Y/n.

“I love you Tooru,” Y/n said, as he moved away to get through security.

“I love you too Y/n.”

One year later:

Oikawa’s serve blasted into the back corner of the opponent’s court. The libero dove for it, making contact, but the ball went spinning out of control, well out of reach of any of the opposing team members. The set came to an end, 25-19. There was only one set left.

Y/n cheered for his boyfriend before looking back down at his notebook. He had promised not to work today, but he snuck in some of his art without Tooru noticing. He was working on his own manga. He had yet to get anything officially off the ground. Most of his work had been denied, but he knew that in the writing business, that is the norm more often than not. It was okay. He would continue to work until he made that dream a reality. As for his animation, he still worked from home in their shared apartment, but had lightened his workload. And in a lucky break, one of his supervisors left and recommended him as her replacement. He now almost made something resembling a liveable wage. 

He was lost in his art. He knew that Tooru would be meeting with his team between the sets and could sneak in a bit of editing and drawing. Despite being in the front, right behind the bench, he was sure he’d be safe from Tooru’s eyes. But he was so absorbed in his art, he didn’t notice when Tooru came striding up to him, hands on his hips glaring at the artwork.

“You were supposed to be taking a day off, Y/n,”

Y/n jumped, and slowly closed his sketchbook, trying to hide it beneath the chair, “What do you mean Tooru, I am” he smiled, pretending to be innocent.

Tooru sighed, “You’re as hopeless as I am. Come on,” he said, grabbing Y/n’s arm and pulling him onto the court behind the bench.

“Tooru, what are you doing, the fifth set is about to start!”

“Don’t worry, both teams agreed to a short disruption, come on,” Tooru said, pulling him onto the court.

“Tooru, why are we on the court?” Y/n asked, blushing, unused to being in the spotlight with crowds staring down at them, many as confused as him.

“Look up.”

Y/n followed Tooru’s finger up to the screens above the court. Usually showing the game on the court, or replays, the screens now read the words, “Will you marry me, Y/n?”

Y/n turned to glare at Tooru, “Really. You are proposing to me during the middle of a volleyball game.” “Yes. I wanted to show you that I love you just as much as I love volleyball,” Tooru said, “Maybe a little bit more even,” Y/n sighed, “You know, this is a low move. I almost have to say yes, with everyone watching.”

“I’m sorry,” Tooru whispered, “Are you really that uncomfortable?”

“You’re lucky you already knew I was going to say yes,” Y/n muttered, knowing they had discussed the possibility in detail over the past month or so. Y/n shook his head and pulled Tooru in a kiss on the middle of the volleyball court. “Does that answer your question?”

Tooru pulled Y/n into another hug, leading him back to the bench as the crowds cheered. Y/n watched from the bench as the fifth set continued forward. He still wasn’t where he wanted to be yet, but Y/n knew that he and Tooru were going to be alright. He would let Tooru help rebuild him. He could make it through anything as long as he had his husband by his side. 

Here’s the ending. Not sure I like it, but it’s what came out. Again, sorry it’s so long. Too all those who distract themselves through work. Hope you enjoyed. 

[zmalkarnar1]

What about us? Oikawa x Male Reader

Despite having to be at work at 6am on Monday, spent all Sunday night writing this up. Anyone else unable to get a wink of sleep when an idea gets stuck in their head?

h/c hair color, d/n dogs name, d/t dog type, n/n nickname

Angsty. Also SPOILERS from the manga. If you haven’t read the manga and are only on the anime, there are spoilers ahead. Sorry.  Also pretty long.

What about us?

The snow gently fell towards the ground. Y/n felt a shiver run through his body, but despite the breeze, y/n enjoyed winter and the blanket of snow that covered the city. Indeed, the way it reflected the light never ceased to amaze him.

The h/c was pulled out of his trance by d/n, pulling forcibly on the leash, eager to get to the park and the lure of freedom to run. Y/n gave his dog a quick pat on the head and resumed his stroll towards the park.

He wasn’t the only one out. New years preparation had people shopping, decorating, visiting shrines, and in general enjoying the festive air with friends and family. However, y/n was content enjoying the fresh air that filled his lungs with each breath on his own. Continuing his walk to the city park in peace and quiet y/n sighed in content, d/n pulling on the leash again, wishing for y/n to move just a little bit faster. And when a shrill voice called out to him, y/n momentarily wished that he did indeed move faster. 

“Y/n-chan, is that you!?”

He turned his head towards the voice, recognizing it as his heart skipped a beat.

Tooru? But isn’t he in Argentina? 

“Y/n-chan, it is you!” He called, running across the street to greet his old classmate. 

Oikawa came in for a hug, but rather than meeting y/n he found a d/t leaping up at him. D/n, seeing a chance to make a new friend, and being the attention whore he was, hoped to receive pets and scratches that y/n, at times, can be stingy on. At least from d/n’s point of view. 

Oikawa stumbled as the dog leapt at him again, licking Oikawa’s face. Y/n can do naught but laugh,

“D/n get down!” He called, pulling on the leash a bit to take a hold of the animal, rubbing his sides to get him to calm down.

“Sorry about that Oikawa,” y/n says, still laughing a bit at the brunette.

“No you’re not,” Oikawa pouted.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. D/n just wants some love,” y/n said, still petting the animal, “Anyways, what are you doing here? Moving back from Argentina?”

“No, no, just visiting family and friends for the New Years.”

“I see,” y/n said, trying to feign disinterest.

Y/n’s laughter faded away as d/n was content with the attention he was now getting from his master. Oikawa let his eyes wander and y/n kept his attention on his companion, not knowing what to say to his former boyfriend. It had been years since they last spoke. 

“So...since I’m around,” Oikawa starts, hand running through his hair, a sheepish smile on his face, “maybe we can get lunch together? To catch up?”

Y/n shook his head, “No thanks. I don’t really think I’ll have the time,”

Oikawa’s smile fell from his face. “Oh, sorry to bother you. I guess I’ll see you,”

He begins to turn around, but y/n’s voice stops him in place. “Wait. I just don’t get a lot of free time. But catching up sounds nice. You’re welcome to join d/n and I on our walk.”

Oikawa brightened up immediately, “I was on some errands for my sibling, but his seems more important.” He gives a mischievous smirk and falls in beside you as you continue your way towards the park. 

“I caught all your games at the Olympics, you know,” y/n said, trying to fill the uneasy silence that had sprung between them

“You did!? All of them?” Oikawa asked, his chocolate eyes seeming to glow as he looked at y/n.

“Yea, all of them. I’ve watched all of your games since we were in middle school together…”

Y/n cheered along with the rest of the Seijoh crowd as the freak quick attack of Karasuno’s number ten was slammed back down on their own side of the court. Aoba Johsai won the third set, carrying them further in the Interhigh tournament. The teams shook hands and came to thank the crowd, Y/n’s boyfriend giving him a thumbs up as he approached the line, which y/n returned, smiling and cheering him on. 

Y/n turned to leave the stands. Entering the halls beyond, y/n ran into Oikawa’s arms, squeezing the (shorter/taller) male into a bear hug.

“Congrats babes!”

“Ugh, thanks y/n-chan”

“You were great!” Y/n said, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Oikawa blushed, still unused to the physical affection y/n gave him right in front of his team. Even two years into their relationship, he could never control his emotions, or stop the blush from rising in his cheeks whenever y/n called him his. Or jumped into his arms. The team just chuckled, some teasing Oikawa as they passed. Iwaizumi just stared blankly at the two of them, unable to comprehend how y/n was able to hand Shittykawa’s nonsense day in and day out. 

“We’re leaving soon trashykawa, so hurry up!” Iwaizumi said before passing by with the rest of the team, leaving Y/n and Oikawa alone in the gym’s hall.

“Thanks for cheering for me n/n. I always play better knowing you’re in the crowd,”

“Oh, Tooru, you know I’d never miss a game! Now you ready for tonight?”

“Well, actually…”

The smile immediately fell from Y/n’s face. He knew what was coming. Tooru was cancelling their date this weekend. For volleyball. Again. Resisting the sigh building in his chest, y/n shook away his disappointment and forced his smile back onto his face.

“It’s okay Tooru. I know you need to focus on volleyball right now,”

“Y/n-chan, I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“You don’t need to explain babes,” Y/n interrupted, “I know how important this is to you, especially since we’re third years. Last chance, right?”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you y/n chan!” Oikawa said, squeezing his boyfriend tight and peppering him with kisses on his check, “I promise we’ll spend all Sunday afternoon together once we win it all!”

Y/n smiled sadly, “Go get em my Lion. Rule the Court!”

Tooru squeezed Y/n into a tight hug once more, forcing the breath out of him and turned to join his team. A few steps away he turned to apologize to Y/n once more, but when he did, the hall was quiet and empty. Tooru walked back towards his team, his eyes set on only one thing; defeating Ushiwaka once and for all. 

Y/n wasn’t able to meet with Oikawa after the Shiratorizawa game, teh team having already left with the coach. Y/n didn’t even head to the cafe for their date. He knew Tooru wouldn’t show up. Instead he strolled up to his house, Oikawa’s mother opening the door before he even had a chance to knock. 

“Ah, there you are Y/n, right on time, as always. He’s upstairs.”

“Thanks,” y/n said, climbing the stairs two at a time. As he entered Tooru’s room, he found his boyfriend curled up in a ball on his bed.

“Tooru?” Y/n called

“Y/n-chan, what are you doing here?” he sniffled. 

“Comforting you. As I always do. Besides, I figured you’d forgotten about our date.”

Tooru  turned towards Y/n, his eyes red and puffy and wide with guilt. He began to sit up, but Y/n sat down on the bed and pulled him back down onto the mattress. Y/m wrapped his arms around Tooru and pulled him close, intertwining their ggs, giving him a quick peck on the forehead. 

“I’m here Tooru. It’s okay,”

Tooru sniffed and pulled Y/n in closer, “I’m sorry, it's just…”

“It’s okay. We can cuddle a bit, then go practice your serves and end with some ice cream if you want. Not the worst date we’ve ever had.” Y/n said, rubbing circles on Tooru’s back, and then get ready to beat Ushiwaka next time.”

“You're the best n/n! I don’t deserve you,”

“I know. And you don’t. You’re lucky you give great cuddles. And you’re cute,” Y/n joked, “but, I’m here for you. I’m here for you.”

Y/n let Tooru cry in his arms, letting his boyfriend vent his frustration and anger, allowing Y/n to hold onto him, to pull the shattered pieces back together. And then Tooru led him to the gym where Y/n chased balls and helped Tooru serve the rest of his frustration and self-doubt away. He spent their entire postponed date on building Tooru back up. Comforting his pain, reassuring him and pushing down the doubts building in his mind, doing everything to assure the volleyball captain that he was not only an amazing player and setter, but a great boyfriend as well. And finally, Y/n got an hour back with his boyfriend when they could take one damned hour away from volleyball and Ushiwaka as they walked hand in hand through the town, enjoying some ice cream as they went. 

And Y/n said that it was okay. He loved Tooru, and despite everything, Tooru loved him. Despite the cancellations, despite his obsession with beating Ushiwaka, and the constant beating himself down, Y/n knew that Tooru was sincere when he said he loved him back. 

“And, what did ya think of the games?” Oikawa asked, excited to hear that, even after all the years, he still had his number one fan watching his back.

“You were amazing. I can see all the hard work paid off. Your game against Japan and those Karasuno blokes was the highlight of the tournament.”

Oikawa nodded, remembering the match against all those who he had sworn to rise above.

“I was actually there for that one, you know,”

“What!? You were?”

Y/n nodded, “It was nice to see you play in person again. Anyways, how is Argentina? Meet anyone special?”

“Argentina is amazing! Best career decision I could have ever made, but what about you? What have you been doing?” Oikawa asked, turning the conversation towards Y/n. Y/n didn’t fail to notice that Oikawa had dodged one of his questions, but he let it pass.

“Oh, I’ve been getting by,” Y/n said as they reached the park. Moving towards the fenced section for dogs, Y/n stepped inside, allowing d/n off of his lease, as there were no other dogs around, and throwing a tennis ball, which d/n gleefully bound after.

“I’ve been working in animation.”

“That’s what you always wanted Y/n! You got your dream too!” Oikawa cheered, patting you on the back,

“It’s not the happy ending though, Oikawa.”

Oikawa looked at you confused. “Wasn’t that your dream? Using your art to help create anime?”

“It was. It is. It’s just,” Y/n sighed, suddenly deflated, and Oikawa took another look at Y/n, but this time he truly saw him. He saw the bags under the h/c eyes and the red of exhaustion and worry that rimmed Y/n’s eyes. He saw the stooped shoulders and y/n’s slouch, as if the world was bearing all its weight down on his friend, and it took everything he had just to force himself out of bed each morning. He saw the fake smile Y/n gave him, to stave off his worry. It was the very same Y/n flashed at him while they were dating, telling him that he was okay, when really he was tearing apart inside. And finally he searched y/n’s eyes once more and noticed how the light inside, which always filled Oikawa with butterflies, was faded and dim.

“Y/n,” he said, barely a whisper, his entire focus now on Y/n, “what happened to you?”

They weren’t together anymore. Y/n didn’t really love him anymore. But under that gaze, beneath the concern and care in Oikawa’s eyes, Y/n broke, a tear beginning to drop from his eyes.

“It’s just,” Y/n let out a deep breath, not even realizing what was about to come out of his mouth, “I work seven days a week. I never have time to take a day off, because if I do, I don’t get paid. You know how much I get paid for my art? You know how much I get paid for dozens of hours of animation? One hundred dollars. One hundred. I have seven different animation projects at any one time, and despite working over seventy hours each week, I can still barely afford rent for a god damned studio apartment, let alone everything else.”

Y/n’s voice raised and as it did, so too did his emotions, and the dam he had built up; it didn’t just crack, it burst. Half-sobbing, half-yelling, he continued, unaware of how much he was holding in or how he was falling apart in front of an ex he had spoken to in years. 

“And d/n has a vet bill coming up, which I know I don’t have money for. And I wouldn’t even have a dog in my situation, but he was my moms, and...well…”

Y/n’s voice trailed off as his tears and sobs became too much for him to speak through. Oikawa put his hand on the h/c’s shoulder. Oikawa had known Y/n’s mother was sick. She had been for years. All throughout high school she battled cancer, teetering back and forth between recovery and death. Oikawa hadn’t realized she had passed away.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry,” Oiwaka said, but his friend couldn’t hear him.

“And, I just couldn’t let him go and…” he choked between sobs, “but I know I don’t give d/n the time he deserves, and I don’t know what to do. I’m angry all the time because I work in an industry worth billions of dollars, but I, and hundreds of other animators, barely get paid for our never ending work to get anime’s out, and now matter what we do or say, nothing ever changes. And some days I just get up and want to quit because I can’t do it anymore. It’s making me hate art and animation. It’s making me hate my dream and I just want to give it all up. I just...just don’t know what to do…”

Y/n slumped to the snow covered ground, his knees giving way. D/n, sensing his owners distress, strolled over to y/n, dropping the ball at his feet. D/n raised his head up against Y/n’s, nuzzling it against him and licking at his tear stained cheeks.

Y/n gave a dry chuckle, “stop d/n,” he said, scratching the dogs ears before standing up, “I’m sorry Oikawa,” Y/n began, wiping away his teams, “I didn’t mean to…”

Y/n didn’t get a chance to finish as Oikawa had pulled him into a close hug, pulling Y/n’s head to his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Oikawa whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry you’ve had to hold so much on your shoulders alone again. It’s okay. I’m here for you. I’m here for you.”

And much to his embarrassment, Y/n cried into Oikawa’s shoulder, cried in his arms. His mothers death, the sense of hopelessness as he tried to make his way in Japan, the feelings of his dream dying in front of his eyes. Y/n let it all go while Oikawa held him, rubbing his back slowly and whispering to Y/n that he was here, that it was okay. 

A few minutes passed before Y/m pulled away from Oikawa, once again wiping away tears.

“How embarrassing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean our ‘catching up’ walk to turn into my sob fest,” Y/n chuckled.

“Hey, it's alright. It’s not as if I haven’t done the same to you. It looked like you really needed that. It’s okay.” Oikawa said, stepping back to give Y/n his space. “How long since your mother?”

“Two years.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Thanks,” Y/n said, throwing the tennis ball for d/n once more.

“Your father?”

“He left. I always was his great disappointment.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n,” Oikawa repeated, unsure of what else he can say to comfort his friend.

“It’s okay. I got past that one.”

“And you’ll get past all the rest,”

“I...I don’t know,” Y/n said, looking back down at d/n.

“Hey,” Oikawa said, lifting Y/n’s chin and turning his eyes towards his own, “The Y/n I know doesn’t give up that easily, not after what you’ve been through.”

Y/n gave him that ghost smile once more, but before he could speak, Oikawa continued.

“So here's what we can do. You clearly need some help,” Oikawa said, sticking his tongue out at Y/n and pulling down on the skin below his eye, “So I’m going to help you.”

“Oikawa, I’ll be fine…”

“Be quiet Y/n!” Oikawa said, his voice high and childish, just like back in high school, “We’re gonna get some exercise running with d/n. Then we’re going to the store and buying some food. You will graciously invite me over for dinner and we’re going to have a good time.”

“Oikawa, I have work to do tonight,” Y/n protested

“What’d you say? I couldn’t hear you,”

“Oikawa,” Y/n said with a growl

“Doesn’t sound like an invite to me,”

Y/n sighed, “Oikawa...you’re not going to stop, are you?”

“Nope.” he said with his stupid, adorable grin on his face, “but really, I wasn’t there for you in high school, not like I should have been. I’m going to be here for you now, as your friend.”

“Just as a friend, right?” Y/n asked to clarify

“Don’t worry, just as a friend,” Oikawa said, putting his arm around Y/n, “Now let’s play with d/n already,”

They stayed in the park for over an hour, playing with d/n, running him to make up for lost exercise. For the first time in what felt like years Y/n laughed, truly, freely laughed. Mainly at Oikawa being an idiot. But Y/n knew he was doing it for him.

And Oikawa, each time he was able to pull a laugh from Y/n, but slipping in the show and having d/n trample him, or reminiscing about times they pissed off Iwa-chan, could feel the blood pumping through his body, his heart pounding in his chest. It wasn’t what they were, but it was something. The awkward air between them when Oikawa first approached had dispersed like dust in the wind, and they were friends again. It was enough. 

Keeping his promise, Oikawa dragged Y/n to the store and went inside, shopping for their dinner (and then some, much to Y/n’s chagrin), and followed Y/n home.

D/n collapsed on his bed right away, falling asleep, content with the day’s excitement. Y/n just looked around his tiny apartment and sighed once more, having forgotten about the disaster he called home.

“Sorry for the mess.”

“Wow. Y/n, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of clothing on your floor before, and now...I don’t know where to begin,” Oikawa teased.

He was right. Y/n was always organized, meticulous, and immaculate, but the stress of the past year had taken a toll on Y/n. Work stuff overed the small table and dest in the room, and the two chairs as well. Clothing, probably dirty, was strewn about the room, dirty dishes and half eaten meals covered the remaining space. And the small bed in the corner was a mess of sheets, pillows and half folded clothing.

“It's been a tough year and a half,” Y/n muttered. 

“Well, we’re going to forget about that tonight. Clean yourself up and I’ll start our dinner.”

“Since when could you cook?” Y/n teased

“Just go get cleaned up!” Oikawa ordered

` Y/n nodded. There was no point arguing anymore either. His small apartment had a main room, where his entire life was stored with a small kitchenette, and then a tiny bathroom with a shower. 

Y/n turned on the hot water and stepped in, wondering what he had just gotten himself into. He hadn’t meant to break down in front of his ex like that. He hadn’t meant to bring him home for dinner either. It wasn’t that Y/n didn’t like Oikawa anymore, but he just couldn’t get involved again. Stepping out of the shower he resolved to keep his feelings hidden and returned to his one room, seeing Oikawa scanning through his work. 

“I thought you were making dinner,” Y/n said, making Oikawa jump.

“Uh, I am. Sorry, I just saw some of your work, and then kept looking.”

“I see.”

“It’s amazing. You really don’t get paid for this?” he asked

“Doesn’t feel like it. Here, let me show you some of the animation work I do,” Y/n said, opening his laptop.

Y/n spent the next few minutes showing off his animation work on scenes from a growing new anime that was rapidly gaining popularity. 

“And you work at least seventy hours a week and still barely make enough? What assholes,” he says, being angry for you.

“Yea. Some nights I fall asleep at the desk. Iwa-chan says I overwork myself so much that I’m hurting my body. Sound familiar?” Y/n asked.

“We’re both two stars lost in the universe, hurting ourselves in order to shine with our dreams.” Oikawa gave Y/n a sad smile, “You hang you with Iwa-chan often?”

“Not really. No time. Not since the just after the Olympics a few months ago. Anyways, dinner.”

“Yes, yes, I’m on it.” 

“Sorry again for the mess. And the lack of space,” Y/n said, clearing off the chairs

“No worries. I’m actually used to it,” 

“You are?”

“Yea. When I first got to Argentina, well it was rough. I didn’t know the language and had almost no money at the start. The first two years I lived just like this. And to top it all off I overworked myself. A lot. I have to learn to take care of myself.”

“Did you? Learn I mean? Doesn’t sound like you.” Y/n teased, his old smile finally emerging from its slumber.

“Nor really,” Oikawa admitted, “But I’m doing much better now. Caught a good break and even met the Karasuno shrimp in Brazil. That actually really helped. And well, now I’m doing alright.”

“You’re an Olympian. I’d say you’re a sight better than alright,” Y/n pointed out.

“It wasn’t always easy, ya know. People don’t realize what we sacrifice.”

“I know, sorry. I didn’t mean to brush aside your struggles.”

“I just want you to know, it will get better. I believe in you.”

Y/n’s true smile faded, and the ghost he’d become resurfaced. He nodded anyways, nor really wanting to talk anymore about it. He’d already cried far too much for his liking today as it was, in front of Oikawa no less. And as Oikawa served the food, they ate dinner in silence, the unease from before returning like a storm cloud that just wouldn’t pass through.

“Thanks Oikawa,” Y/n mumbled as they finished, “I’ll clean this up,”

“Nonsense, I’ll do it. You relax. Is there anything else I can do for you,” Oikawa asked, winking at the end.

Y/n suddenly tensed. The last thing he wanted was Oikawa attempting to flirt with him right now.

“Jeez, calm down, I’m joking,” Oikawa said when he noticed Y/n tense up, “I said as a friend, and I meant it.”

True to his word, Oikawa cleaned and they hung out. Sharing stories, reminiscing on their days at Seijoh. And never once did Oikawa overstep his bounds or overstayed his welcome. Never once did he try to flirt, never once even asked or expected more for what he did for Y/n. Oikawa had grown, and for a moment, Y/n was really glad Oikawa was there for him, as his friend.

“Do you ever wonder how things would’ve turned out if you went with me?” But of course, in typical Oikawa fashion, he just had to ruin the moment. Maybe he hadn’t grown that much after all. But then, maybe Y/n hadn’t either, as his guard had to slip at that exact moment.

“Oh, Tooru…” Y/n said fondly, a weary look in his eyes.

After the loss to Shiratorizawa, Tooru threw himself back into volleyball with a fire that burned so hot, it threatened to consume the boy who possessed it. Y/n went to every game, even practice when he could. Tooru had a dream. Tooru needed Y/n and Y/n loved him. But Y/n needed Tooru too.

Y/n’s mother fell ill again, and his father was less than pleased with his son. The stress built until Y/n collapsed in class, in a puddle of exhaustion and tears. It was only then, after months of suffering that Tooru even noticed his boyfriend's pain, his terror. Tooru carried him to the infirmary. It was then he saw the fear and fatigue in his beloved’s eyes. Guilt overwhelmed him. They spent the weekend together, and for once, Toorus was there, entirely and completely for Y/n. With Tooru, he could pull himself through.

But Oikawa Tooru had a one track mind. Volleyball and rising above his nemesis, Wakatoshi Ushijima; nothing else could compete for space in his mind. Missed dates and meetups, waiting at the school gates for an hour, only to walk home alone and miserable. Y/n suffered, but knew that, despite everything, Tooru sincerely loved him.

Tooru always apologized. He was so sincere. He never meant to forget, to hurt Y/n, and he always made it up to him. A nigher here, a lunch there. But Oikawa was so singularly focused that it never lasted long. Y/n had to beg, or be on the verge of collapse for his boyfriend to momentarily let go of his obsessions with volleyball to focus solely on their relationship. But it was only ever for a fleeting moment. 

Then Y/n’s mother’s health declined again, and as it all piled up on Y/n’s back like gravity forcing him down to earth from orbit, he burned up and broke apart. He couldn’t take it all anymore. He couldn’t help his mother, or change his abusive father, but he could take the stress of their relationship out of his life. However, that very next day, Aoba Johsai fell to Karasuno in the prefecture tournament for Spring Nationals, and a run down, broken Oikawa made his way to Y/n’s home. Still sobbing, Y/n led Oikawa to his room and helped him as he did all those times before. Maybe now that it was finally over, they could fix their relationship. But that was naive. 

Y/n sat in the cafe, glaring at his phone, as if he was wishing he could stop the clock from turning. Maybe he hoped that it was running fast. But it wasn’t. Oikawa was late. Again. Y/n sipped at his hot cocoa as a tear slipped from his eyes.

 It was supposed to be better. Volleyball was over. It was supposed to be easier. Y/n thought. But every time he...I can’t do this anymore.

“That idiot.”

Y/n jumped at the angry growl and looked up to see Iwaizumi standing next to his table.

“Iwa-chan? What are you doing here?” Y/n asked

“Shittykawa is an idiot.”

“He’s not coming...is he?” Y/n asked, though he didn’t need to. He already knew the answer.

“He was only supposed to practice for ten more minutes. I was on my way home, but then wanted to check in on you. To make sure he got here.”

“Thanks Iwa-chan. Is he still at the gym?”

“Probably, knowing him. I’ll whack him good for you tomorrow.”

“No need Iwaizumi. We’re done.” Y/n said, getting up and brushing past Iwaizumi

“I’m sorry Y/n,”

“Thanks for letting me know, Iwa-chan.”

Y/n took to the street, turning back towards Aoba Johsai, his blood pumping furiously through his veins. As he approached the gym, he could still see the lights on, and as he made it to the doors, he heard the tell tale sound of a volleyball pounding against the gym floor. Y/n entered, not even trying to hold in his tears.

Oikawa didn’t even turn, “I’m almost down Iwa-chan, don’t worry.”

“I’m not Iwaizumi,” Y/n sniffled.

Oikawa heard Y/n’s trembling voice, his sniffles, and turned with a look of pure horror and guilt on his face, the voice jolting the forgotten promise of a Friday night date; cafe, dinner, movie, and cuddles. He rushed over to Y/n, apologies rushing out of his mouth, and tried to embrace his boyfriend. But Y/n shoved him away before he couldn. Hard. And Oikawa stumbled back.

“Y/n?” 

“Again Tooru. You forgot again! You don’t even have a tournament coming up and you still forget me for volleyball!” The venom in Y/n’s voice ripped through Oikawa.

“But Y/n, I still need to practice,” he argued.

“Is that practice more important than me? Than my feelings? What about what I need?”

“Y/n-chan, that’s not fair…”

“No!” Y/n screamed, jabbing his finger into Oikawa’s chest, “You don’t get to do that. I’ve accepted cancelled dates and rainchecks. No matter how hard I try, the plan is somehow always rearranged. I’ve been there for you, for three years. Every win. Every loss. I spent dates helping you practice. You don’t get to do that. It’s not fair that you can’t take one moment for me unless I literally collapse!”

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” Oikawa said, and the sincerity in his voice, in his eyes, tugged at Y/n’s heart. But he forced himself on. 

“I know you are. But I can’t do it anymore. My mother is still sick. My father is a homophobic ass. You are supposed to be my escape, my pillar too, just like I’ve been for you. But I find myself ever more stressed because of you. I can’t stop worrying about if you’re going to grace me with your presence for oncfe. I can’t do it anymore. You are so obsessed with volleyball, with beating Ushiwaka, that you don’t see anything else through your tunnel vision. You don’t see the blood and tears left behind in your rampage. I can’t do it anymore,” Y/n screamed through his sobs at the end. It was over.

“Y/n, I can’t choose between you and volleyball, I love both. I need both,” Oikawa said, tears beginning to glisten in his chocolate eyes. 

Y/n took a deep breath and pulled his temper back under reign. “I know, Oikawa, I know.”

Oikawa flinched at the use of his last name. That hadn’t happened since before they were dating. 

“I know. It’s your dream. You can’t give that up.”

“I love you too, n/n”

“I know Oikawa, I believe you do. But clearly you can’t do both. We;re done. I need to do what’ve best for me right now. You’ll be fine.”

Y/n turned to walk out, but Oikawa had grabbed his wrist. Angry e/c glared at Oikawa.

“Let go.” Y/n hissed, pulling away from Oikawa and storming out the gym doors. Oikawa followed him out, only to see Y/n crying in Iwaizumi’s arms.

“You moron,” was all he said before turning to walk Y/n home. 

“I’m leaving.”

A cold, early spring breeze, pushed its way across the park, and Y/n shivered. Yet it wasn’t for the cold. He ran his hands through his h/c locks and looked at everything but the boy in front of him. He noticed the new buds on the trees, and the hint of green pushing out of the thawed ground. Spring was always his favorite season; new life, new beginnings, a chance to start anew. His gaze moved up towards the clouds passing overhead. 

“I know” Y/n said

“And?”

“And what?” Y/n responded back, tone devoid of any feeling

“What about us?”

“What about us, Oikawa?”

“I still love you Y/n,”

“What do you want me to say Oikawa? That I’ll jump on a plane with you, to Argentina? Leave everything behind? Even if I wanted to, what would I do? Sit in your apartment, waiting for you to come home? After how you treated me?

They were on speaking terms again. It had taken a few months, but Y/n was willing to be in the same room as Oikawa again, at least as long as someone else was there. But this was the first they’ve been alone. 

“I...I,”

Y/n sighed and pushed down his love that still shone for the brunette. Despite everything, Oikawa was always honest and sincere.

“I know. I believe you do. But am I supposed to leave my sick mother? No Oikawa, this is it.”

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s a little late for that. I need to get home. Good luck, Oikawa.”

“Do you ever think of…”

“Oh, Tooru…” Y/n stopped as the name slipped from his lips, hoping Oikawa didn’t notice. Oikawa’s eyes widened in surprise at the use of his first name, but carried on as if nothing happened.

“I do, sometimes. When volleyball isn’t going well, I think of that moment in the park.”

“Honestly,” Y/n admitted, “so do I.”

Oikawa perked up.

“But, really, what would’ve happened. I’d have no job, nothing to do, nothing but to wait for you, and we both know how that went.” 

“You’re right. I know it. Doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”

“I know,” Y/n said, “and I’m not angry at you. Well, I was, and I was very hurt. But I know that volleyball was always going to claim the larger piece of your heart, and with everything going on, I just couldn’t do it. We had different lives I guess. But I’m not mad any more.”

“Thanks. For not being angry anymore,” Oikawa said, perking up a moment later, “Anyways, let's put in a movie we can laugh at and then we’ll have a sleepover, just like the good old days. Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the floor.” 

“Oikawa, we’re…”

“Just friends, I know, but do you really want to be alone tonight?”

Y/n shook his head, “Not really. Thanks...Tooru.” 

Just as Tooru promised, they laughed with a good movie, and Y/n felt his stress melt away for the first time in nearly a year, all his adult worries fading away with the sound of Oikawa’s voice. And just as he said, he never tried to push past being only friends. If Tooru still felt the same, he hid it well. All except his chocolate eyes which gave him away, gazing a half a second too long on the male. 

Morning came, and after Tooru made them a full breakfast, the two took d/n back to the park for his morning walk.

“I’m heading back to Argentina tomorrow.”

“I guess this is it then…”

“You know, my offer still stands.”

“To go with you?” Y/n asked.

“Yes. You mentioned last night that during the pandemic that you worked mostly from home. You could do the same in South America.”

“And what else Tooru? I’m not sure I want to leave Japan. Besides, I’d only end up on the back burner to volleyball. No. I won’t go.” Y/n said, his eyes determined.

“I understand. It was silly to ask. Give me your phone though,”

“Why?” Y/n asked, handing over the device.

“There,” Oikawa said after typing in a set of numbers, “You have my new number. We can keep in touch, and talk when things get too real, as friends. And I can curse out your awful bosses for you.”

“I could do that.” Y/n said, his smile returning from the graveyard it had been lost to for so long.

“And during the off season you can come visit me. You and Iwa-chan both.”

“Tooru, you know I can’t get the time off.”

“Don’t care. You’re gonna visit. Or I’ll tell Iwa-chan how beat down you actually were and he’ll drag you by your ear to the airport.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Y/n challenged

“Try me,” Oikawa said, sticking his tongue out at Y/n, pulling up Iwaizumi’s number on his phone.

“Fine, fine, just don’t call him. I’ll try to visit, okay?”

“Good. I should get home though. I never did tell my family I’d be out all night. It was good to see you Y/n.”

“It was. And thank you. I needed this.”

“Anytime, it’s what any good captain would do,” Tooru said, turning to walk away

“And Tooru?”

“Yea?”

Y/n’s eyes were glued towards the ground, a slight blush rising on his face. “Oh, nothing, nevermind.”

“You’re blushing like a schoolgirl and you think I’m going to let this go. Tell me.” He said, stepping closer to Y/n.

“I...I won’t wait for you. But if the day ever comes when there is space in your heart, and we’re both still wandering through this world alone...well, maybe we could try again…” Y/n said, looking up and meeting Oikawa’s gorgeous chocolate eyes. 

Oikawa nodded, giving Y/n one last final hug before heading back home, and eventually to where his heart really rested; his volleyball team, and Y/n, back to his apartment, with a new outlook and determination to build on his dream.

Sorry this was so long. Also was originally supposed to be an Oikawa x Male Reader x Iwaizumi, but clearly that didn’t happen. Story kind of took over itself.

Also, if you don’t know, animators in Japan are actually living in poverty despite the industry being so damn lucrative. They barely get paid anything for their art, so most of the people creating your favorite anime’s are barely making it by. If you don’t know much on it, here’s a Nytimes article that talks a bit about it. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/24/business/japan-anime.html

Might be a part II. Don’t know, depends on if inspiration hits in the middle of the night forcing me to write. 

[zmalkarnar1]

Kuroo x Male Reader: Oblivious

Something I posted a little while back on my deviantart account. Figured I’d throw it here as I write a bit more. 

You watched as he stuffed his practice partners spike, sending the ball reeling back towards the gym floor. He landed with a cheer and a predatory smirk which gave his eyes a mischievous glint. On the other side of the net, Lev Haiba released a frustrated groan, as once again the Scheming Captain managed to shut him down. The predatory grin followed the rookie, reminding him that he was years away from being able to best the raven haired middle blocker. 

Was this really your Kuroo? Was this really your Tetsuro?  Well, he wasn't really yours, but you've known him longer than anyone here...

You were neighbors, born only days apart, and your mother and his father were close friends from their college days. And while he had his grandparents, both of you were being raised by single parents and you often found yourself in the care of his family, or him yours. Born only days apart, the two of you spent almost all of your time together. You can't remember a time you didn't know the raven haired male. But was this really him? 

"Come on Kuroo, let's go," you whined, pulling his arm and dragging him out of his house.

Kuroo just shook his head, dragging his feet across the ground as you pulled him.

“Please,” you begged, “I don’t want to go alone.”

You moved behind him and began pushing him towards the sidewalk, doing anything and everything to move to black haired eight year old.

You were shy too. You didn’t like new places, new people, lots of people. A lot of things scared you. But Kuroo. Kuroo was petrified of anything and anyone he didn’t know well. Literally froze up in class, at the park. He was so timid he made you look like the life of the party. 

“No…” he said, his voice soft, his tone begging you to leave him be.

“Please Tetsu,” you begged again, going to your knees, “I just want at least one of my friends at the field with me,”

“One of your friends? I’m your only friend,” he responded like a whip, a shy smirk on his face, hinting at what lies beneath his hardened shell. It was gone in a flash, and you only stared, stunned at the sudden crack from your oldest friend. Your only friend, as he so rudely pointed out. You smiled despite that. It was rare even you got to see that smirk, to hear that sharp wit he hid behind his walls.

“Tetsu, please. If you come….I’ll join the youth volleyball you keep asking me to. Please Tetsu,” you pleaded, making your best puppy dog eyes.

“...Promise?”

“Promise!” You yelled out in glee, dragging him to your soccer field. And true to your word, the next day you followed Tetsu, or more he pushed you into the volleyball gym and the two of you joined the youth league. And before you knew he was gone, moved away, out of your life forever. You passed the next years in near isolation. Sure you had a few friends in soccer, some acquaintances at junior high, but no one, no one who knew you so well as Kuroo. That is, until midway through your second year of high school, you and your mother packed up and moved to Nekoma, and there he was.

You smiled at the memory, but something irritated you deep down as you stared at the captain’s smirk, his teammates patting him on the back for his block. You clenched your fist, this sudden frustration seeping into your muscles as you narrow your eyes at the volleyball team. 

That smirk, that smile, is mine! I saw it first, and it is mine.

The thought flashed across your mind and vanished in a rush as you struggled to comprehend the emotions running through your body. Having no idea where the thought came from, a blush began to rise in your cheeks, and you shook your head vigorously. You returned to your book, hoping beyond hope that Tetsu hadn’t noticed. You glanced up and saw his smirk, this time aimed at you. You smiled, involuntarily. Something about his smile always drove you to excitement. Then he winked, and your cheeks heated again. He definitely noticed. Of course he did. Great. You just couldn’t wait for the sass he was going to fire your way later. 

Damn it! What is going on with me?

You stepped out of the gym into the fresh evening air, slapping your cheeks to focus yourself. You were just watching your friend’s practice. That was it.

Pull it together!

You were pacing back and forth, oblivious to everything but this electricity jolting through you, mixing with a rising frustration that made you just want to scream. You didn’t even notice the gym doors open and close behind you. 

“Liked what you saw,”

You jumped, Kuroo’s voice jolting you out of your trance. You didn’t need to see his grin. You could hear the smirk in his voice. Fantastic. Now he was going to make fun of how jumpy you were. Just fantastic.

“You’re choosing a great time to fall apart. In front of the entire team too,” Kuroo smiled predatorily at you. You didn’t notice, but his eyes looked over you. All of you.

“They all saw,” you muttered miserably

“Hard to miss your cheeks turning into tomatoes. So, did you like what you saw?”

You stared dumbly at him, mouth slightly agape, eyes open wide as Kuroo towered above you on the steps to the gym. He looked very much like a jungle cat. A jungle cat that was about to devour his prey once he was done playing with it. Was he flirting with you? No. No. This was the Scheming Captain. He was screwing with you. And you were staring right at him. Great. Just grand. Now he’ll think you’ve gone dumb. 

“You aren’t usually this slow, (nickname). Come on, did you like it?”

“Tetsu,” you growled, anger seeping into your voice. You didn’t mind his banter usually. At times it was actually endearing. But sometimes, you wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

Then you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it anymore. A voice from deep inside you said, causing you to stumble again, your cheeks reddening once more. You clenched your fists and let out a quick yell. Oblivious to everything, you failed to notice that Kuroo took in every single detail. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, true concern replacing the confidence in his voice. He knew he might have pushed too far.

“I’m…I just need to get some rest,” you said, pushing past him to grab your stuff. “I’ll feel better tomorrow. See you later.”

Again, you failed to seem but he watched each step you took as you walked away, a knowing smile lightening his face. 

You walked home with Kenma. He must have snuck away from personal practice again. Usually when you didn’t have soccer you waited for him and Tetsu and the three of you went home together. Today, you just needed sleep, that was all. Kenma was engrossed in his game. That was fine. You didn’t want to talk anyways.

I’d just make a mess of it if I spoke anyways.

You were left to your thoughts, and by the time you neared home, you had finally calmed down. At least, until Kenma decided to open the floodgates. 

“So, when are you going to tell him?” Kenma blurted out, not looking up from his game.

“What?” you asked, confusion clear on your face.

Kenma stopped and looked up at you as if you were stupid.

“You like Tetsuro.”

It was the way he said it. Blunt, to the point, and matter of factly, that sent you stumbling over your own feet. He said it with a straight face too. And there went the walls again, the emotions breaking through and in a rush you felt the excitement, frustration, and confusion that had taken you almost an hour to wrestle under control. 

Thanks Kenma. Thanks a lot. 

“He’s my friend, of course I like him,” you say, trying to keep the blush off of your face.

Kenma looked at you with a blank face, like you were a moron trying to claim that the earth was flat. 

“I...no, I don’t like him, like him,” you stumble over your words, and Kenma just continues to stare at you, saying nothing.

“Really…” this time you weren’t even sure what you were saying. You just needed to say something to fill the awkward silence. And to make Kenma stop staring at you like that. But all he did was look at you with that deadpan stare, and your breath quickened and you waited for him to just nod his head and drop it.

“Wow.” Kenma muttered, “You’re so oblivious that not only do you completely miss his moves on you, but you don’t even realize how you stare at him with that damn goofy grin on your face,”

“I do not! Wait… his moves on me? No. That’s just Tetsu messing around,”

Kenma smacked his palm against his face, “Wow. You’re an idiot. You’re both so ignorant of each other's feelings. He’s stupid for you, and clearly you’re just plain stupid, so you’re perfect for each other. Tell him and get over this already. I’m sick of how awkward the two of you have been the past month.”

“We haven’t…” Kenma was already walking away and you were left with utter chaos in your mind and burning cheeks. You didn’t like, like Tetsu. Did you?

That night you heard pebbles knocking against your window. You knew it was him, checking to see if you were okay. But you weren’t ready for that. You pretended to be asleep, and eventually he turned in. All you could do was toss and turn, going in and out of a fitful sleep, Kenma’s words echoing through your mind. 

The three of you walked to school together in the morning, and an awkward silence rose between you. Well, you would have noticed if you weren’t falling asleep as you walked. Kuroo had asked if you were feeling any better. Too afraid to talk, you knew you’d say something stupid, you just shook your head and stared at the ground, hoping he wouldn’t see your slight blush. Small chance that. 

You broke off to your classes when you reached school, but of course, you and Tetsu just had to be in the same class. All you could do was stare at the back of his head. And then, of course, you had to scramble whenever he glanced back towards you. You knew you just made yourself look like an idiot. 

At lunch you joined in with the volleyball crowd. Not that you necessarily wanted to. It was a habit more than anything else. You sat at the periphery, back against a tree as they bantered and laughed at each other. You only half listened. You were lost in your own mind, enjoying the cool shade of the tree, staring up at the clouds about. Again, you were oblivious to Tetsu staring at you. 

“You’ve really changed, (nickname),” Kuroo said out of the blue.

You stared at him blankly, your eyes blinking. You had to stop doing that; you looked like a deer caught in headlights. Then you laughed. Loudly. And everyone turned to stare at you.

“I’ve changed?” You manage to mutter between breaths, holding your sides, “What about you…”

It was your first day at Nekoma High. You were furious; not only was it the middle of the year, but you had finally made a few friends on your school's soccer team before having to leave everything behind. You couldn’t blame your mother though. She couldn’t pass the opportunity by. It’s just, you’ve never made friends easily. You were always awkward and felt like an outcast. And just when you were finally feeling comfortable at your old school. You thought back on your elementary friend, and how everything felt so natural with him. It didn’t matter. He was long gone. 

As you reached the entrance to Nekoma, you were met by a short boy with brown hair. Really short. Shorter than you even. 

“Hey, I’m Yaku Morisuke. Are you (l/n, f/n)?”

You nodded.

“I’m in your class, and been asked to show you around. Come on,” he said, a friendly smile on his face.

“Thanks, Yaku-san,” you said, eyes to the ground, voice quiet.

You followed Yaku across the grounds of Nekoma High. Yaku spent the morning guiding you through the school. He talked constantly, but you just nodded numbly, and quietly thanked him after each stop. He even got you signed up in the soccer club once he pried out that you played. You weren’t going to join, but couldn’t find an easy way to say no, and allowed it to happen. By the time the lunch bell rang, you were ready to crawl in a corner by yourself and eat your lunch in peace and quiet, away from the eyes of the other students. Yaku was having none of it.

“You can join us for lunch (l/n). They’re a good bunch, if a little loud. Come on,”

You wanted to hide away alone, but couldn’t find a way to decline without seeming rude. Besides, he had a death grip on your arm, almost dragging you towards the volleyball club.

They were outside of the school, eating beneath a cluster of trees, casually tossing a volleyball back and forth. You took one look at them and stopped dead, stumbling to the ground as Yaku continued to pull you along. You stood back up. It couldn’t be. You had to be seeing things. But as you looked again, there he was, Tetsuro Kuroo.

He turned and saw you, and the volleyball fell to the grass below. You met his eyes, wide with shock, as were your own. Then you saw his smirk, just like when you were little, but full of confidence and charm.

“Tetsuro!” “(nickname)” You both yelled at the same time, your face lighting up with delight.

He covered the ground between you in three swift strides, picking you up and swinging you around in a tight embrace. It had been almost eight years.

“Tetsu...you’re...you’re huge,” you explain as he puts you down, unable to believe how much taller he was.

“And you’re a shrimp,” he says, his smirk growing. 

You pushed him away. Or at least, you tried to, but he was so solid. And full of confidence. You stepped back from him and glued your eyes to the ground when you realized the whole team was staring.

“This is (l/n, f/n)” Yaku said, “(l/n), this is the nekoma volleyball team. Although it seems as if you already know our rooster head over here.”

You smile at the nickname of Tetsu and give everyone a quick wave, but say nothing. Noticing your anxiety, Kuroo grabbed your arm and pulled you away.

“I’ll take him off your hands, shorty,” Kuroo called out to Yaku once you two were a safe distance away from the libero.

“(nickname), what are you doing here?” Kuroo asked when you found a secluded spot to eat.

“Well...Mom...Mom got a promotion and we had to move. We just got in the other day,”

“That’s great!” He smiled, “I’m glad you’re here. What, it’s been eight years? I’ll get you signed up for volleyball,”

“I...I don’t play volleyball anymore,” you say, a little afraid that you were disappointing him,

“Huh?” Tetsu looked confused, but it was gone in a moment, replaced by that wicked grin you saw on him before, “Oh, did you finally toughen up and join soccer?”

You nodded, “Yaku signed me up for the soccer club, but...I don’t think I’m going to go,” you said looking down, “It’s too much. But I’m relieved you’re here Tetsu. I thought I’d spend the year alone. Again.”

“Nonsense, you’re joining. You’ll feel better once you do something. Besides, you can’t be this shy for the rest of your high school career.” he said, putting his arm around you.

“Like you’re one to talk,” you mutter, blushing

“”What was that?”

“Nothing. Besides, I don’t have my cleats or shin guards with me.”

“Tomorrow then,” he said, oblivious to, or ignoring your pitiful look, “Anyways, what class are you in?”

You hand him your schedule. You were in the same class. At least you knew somebody.

“Great! I’ll take care of you from here on,” he said, brining you towards your shared class, “I’ll make you feel right at home here, just wait and see,”

You blushed, but it did feel good to have him with you. However, you couldn’t help but marvel; was this really your Tetsu?

And true to his word, Tetsu kept a close eye on you and a guiding hand nearby. Your friendship picked up right where it had been left, and Kuroo always made sure you were okay, even when you didn’t want him to. 

Like when you walked home and realized you were neighbors with him and Kenma. The next morning, before you left for school, he asked if you had your soccer gear. When you said no, he barged into your home, just like the old days, and grabbed you gear, ignoring the surprised look on your mother’s face.

“I’ll hold on to these,” he said, smirking, keeping them out of your reach so you couldn’t hide them during the day.

And at day’s end, you couldn’t get away from him fast enough. He dragged you (it seems you were going to have to get used to a lot of that), over to the soccer fields and announced that you were joining. And of course he had to take it a step further, claiming you were the best striker in the entire prefecture. Damn Kuroo. Everyday he ensured you made it to soccer before he wandered off to the volleyball gym. And he was right. You became accustomed to the team, and his volleyball crew, and, of course, got to experience the sharp side of Tetsu's silver tongue. But even then, deep down and hidden, you began to feel something more for Tetsu. Your eyes lit up when you saw him, your lips curled into a smile when he called your name. Small, subtle moments that slowly grew inside you. Little did you know how desperately he was waiting for you.

Your face heated up again as you realized the entire volleyball team was staring at you. You lowered your eyes and looked away, trying to control the red flash that was crawling across your face.

“I’m not the only one whose changed,” you said softly, looking at Kuroo from the corner of your eye.

“Will you come to practice again?” Tetsu asked.

You nodded, “Soccer is in break for now.” You had won the preliminaries and were waiting for the prefecture tournament to decide nationals. The team was taking a short break to recover after the long season, so you had nothing else to do.

“Cool,” Kurro said, and for once you noticed Tetsu’s sidelong glances at you throughout the rest of lunch. 

Damn you, Kenma, you thought as you looked away before you began blushing again. 

By the time you made it to the gym, the team was already well into practice. Tetsu gave you a big wave. Kenma just shook his head. You settled down in the corner of the gym, your book in your hands. But you found that today you couldn’t concentrate on the words. You’d muddle through the pages of the story, completely forgetting each and every word as your eyes returned to the volleyball team. Or, more accurately, to Tetsuro. You’d try to return to your book, but a paragraph later, your mind and eyes forced their way back to the Scheming Captain. You couldn’t shake what Kenma had said about the raven haired boy.

You put away the book. You weren’t getting anywhere anyways, and instead focused on the practice. Each time your eyes fell on your bed-headed friend you felt a jolt of energy, a shudder of electricity, a breath of life course through you, making your hair stand on its end. And when he’d catch you staring, he’d share his half-smile, half-smirk, as if he knew exactly the game you were playing. Somehow, as your whole body began to warm, you thought as if you were a mouse caught by this cunning black cat. 

And then he was back to his practice. To this team. His family. You’d watch with this sadness creeping into you. He was your best friend, but he had so many of his own. He didn’t need you too. As doubt touched your mind, you saw him flash his grin towards Lev, once again blocking his poorly struck spike, and all feelings of doubt and sadness fled from your mind as another feeling rushed through your veins. And no matter what you did, you couldn’t shake it. Each time he flashed his grin to his team, each time he looked at you and smiled, every time his predatory smirk was shared with another, a fire enveloped your blood. Your muscles tightened and your eyes narrowed, and finally you recognized it. Jealousy. You were jealous. 

That hunter’s smile, which you were the first to witness, to see through the cracks in his shell, that was your smile. And his team saw it everyday, all the time. They got this piece of your friend you didn’t really get to see. To feel. To experience. This competitive, strong, cunning young man before your eyes wasn’t yours, and you teemed with envy. You didn’t try to hide your blush as you watched Tetsu play. You couldn’t have if you tried. Maybe you did like Kuroo. 

You waited for them after practice this time. It was the weekend, and Tetsu, Kenma, and yourself had a long sleepover planned. You had the new Fifa game, Kenma a new JRPG, and Kuroo had a new horror movie he wanted to watch. However, of course Kenman just had to drop out. Great. Now you’d be alone with Tetsu. You promised in your head that the next time you could corner Kenma you were going to strangle him. He was doing this on purpose, the bastard. Which is how you ended up alone with Kuroo as he put the dvd into your T.V. You hated horror. Did he remember how you much you hated blood after all these years?

You were both sitting on your bed as the movie descended into darkness. You screamed and covered your eyes, feeling Kuroo’s hand on your shoulder, and then wrapped around your body to calm you down. You didn’t fight it, or the blush that began to grow on your face. It felt so natural. And it felt right when he pulled you closer, and you hid in his chest as the terror in the movie rose to its climax. And in the midst of the madness, with your trembling in Tetsu’s arms, he finally found the courage to speak to you.

“I love you.”

He didn’t. In the middle of a horror movie which had you trembling. He didn’t. But this was Tetsuro. He was a dork. Of course he did.

You didn’t respond, only looked up into his eyes. There was no predatory smirk this time. No, there was something more. You could see the genuine care, the love, in his eyes, the fear of your refusal, the gentleness that hid beneath the teasing and provocation. You could feel his vulnerability as he pulled you down onto your bed, laying you on your back as he straddled you between his legs. His beautiful eyes searched deep into your (e/c) eyes, and you felt all the confusion flee from your mind. Instead, a fire, a heat, a desire coursed through your veins and your entire body shook with anticipation as he moved his lips towards yours. It was soft. Ever so soft, but as he pulled away, you needed more. More. So much more. You grabbed onto his head, hands coursing through his messy black hair, and pulled him back down into a kiss that sent chills rushing through your body. And all the tension that had filled your mind and muscles broke free with each kiss he placed on your lips, your neck. And with each touch from his hands across your skin you felt all your fear fade away. When he finally pulled back, his teeth gently pulling at your skin, you saw in his eyes, and knew. You definitely liked Tetsuro Kuroo.

“I love you,” you breathed back.

And then you saw it. His relief. His care. His love. And you see the vulnerable, timid boy you once knew. A side of Kuroo no one else was allowed to see, to know, to touch. Only you. They could keep his smirk, his confidence. Because you had something more. Because you knew you had the real Kuroo; the boy who needed your reassurance, who needed your hands, who required the safety of your arms. No one else could see that. Tetsuro Kuroo was all yours. 

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Just an idea that has been pulsing through my mind. I haven't really written anything like this before, so I hope you like it. Sorry if Kuroo is a little OOC. Enjoy.