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dreamwritesimagines · 4 years ago

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Twisted 16 - Bloody City [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, blood.

Word Count: 3000

Summary: Threats come closer.

The room was so silent that you could swear even your heartbeat was audible. You tried to think through the panic running through your veins, but it was nearly impossible.

He wasn’t supposed to find out about that.

You weren’t a profiler, but you didn’t need to be one to understand how betrayed he felt at the moment. He looked completely frozen, his sharp glare giving you goosebumps.

He had never looked at you like that before, and the anger in his eyes was more than enough to pin you to your spot.

“Spencer,” you managed you say, your voice way too weak, “I can explain.”

Silence.

“I didn’t—“ you stammered, “I didn’t read it. I would never.”

He just kept his gaze on you, raising his brows as if he didn’t believe a word you said and you wetted your lips.

“Where did you find it?”

That managed to draw a reaction from him, at least. He scoffed a dry laugh, shaking his head.

“That’s what you’re asking me right now?” he asked, “It was under the magazines on the coffee table, I thought it was one of mine.”

You cursed under your breath, closing your eyes for a moment. Of course your mother would put it there for you to take a look at it in case you wanted to.

“So?” he said, nodding at the folder lying on the kitchen island, “Do you want to tell me why you have a file on me?”

“It’s not mine.”

The bitter smile on his face was almost amused at your pathetic attempt, and it hit you right at that moment, there was no way you could talk your way out of this. This was what he did for a living, and he could tear your whole list of excuses apart, picking holes in it one by one.

“Try again.”

So people felt exactly like this when he was interrogating them. It was like his whole personality had just changed right in front of your eyes, and you weren’t even sure that you knew this person standing in front of you.

“I mean,” you swallowed thickly, “Okay, it’s technically mine. But I can explain why I have it.”

“You can?”

You pushed your hair behind your ear, your hands restless for some reason.

“The other day,” you started, “After we…. Well, when you were in Ohio, my mom dropped by. She already has a key and well, you’ve met her, she comes and goes as she pleases. I told her not to numerous times, but—“

“That’s not what I asked.”

You nodded, clearing your throat.

“Right, yeah,” you said, wringing your hands, “Um, she has this P.I.”

“You mean your family has a P.I.?” he corrected you, “Philip, you said? It’s not just your mother who uses him, you told me so yourself.”

You cussed at yourself in your head and bit on your lip, “Yeah. Yeah but he—he usually works for my mother. She’s overprotective, especially after my dad she became quite paranoid with the type of people me and Mina date. Anyways, she came here that morning, and she had this file but I didn’t read it,” you shook your head fervently, “I would never.”

He tilted his head, humoring you, “Oh you didn’t read it?”

“No, of course not—“

“Why did you keep it then?”

“I didn’t keep it,” you said, “I had to leave in a hurry so I left my mom here and I swear to you I told her to throw it away. I thought she did, I didn’t see it before just now. I wouldn’t keep it if I knew—“

“Did you know she was going to do it?” he cut you off as if he wasn’t in the mood to listen to your excuses, “Put a P.I. on me?”

You opened your mouth to say no, then the memory of her saying that at the brunch flashed in your mind, making you shut your eyes for a second before looking up at him.

That was enough of an answer for him.

“You knew?” he asked, barely controlling the fury in his voice, “You knew but you didn’t tell me?”

“She mentioned it in passing but I didn’t take her seriously,” you said quickly, “I didn’t think she would actually do it, that’s why I didn’t tell you!”

He let out a humorless laugh and walked to grab his satchel while you stood there, unable to even breathe right as your heart pounded in your ears.

“Where are you going?”

“Out,” he said curtly, “I’ll break your heart if I stay here any longer.”

“Spencer please, we need to talk about it—”

“Talk about it?” he repeated, “Why? So that you can give me more bullshit excuses?”

To that, you honestly had nothing to say.

“I would’ve told you whatever you wanted to know about me,” he said through his teeth, his eyes narrowed, “Because I trust you. That’s the difference between you and me.”

You blinked back the tears, digging your fingernails into your clenched fists.

“Have fun reading that,” he motioned at the file in front of you, then walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Your hand shot up to wipe at your eyes and tugged at the roots of your hair as you slouched against the kitchen island.

“Fuck.”

***

The next three days were an absolute disaster. You couldn’t focus on anything, you checked your phone every minute to see whether he had texted you or called you, but there was nothing. You had no idea what you could do to explain yourself, or at least convince him to hear you out, but you decided to wait until he wasn’t as angry. Maybe then, he would be more willing to listen to you and you would have gathered your thoughts together.

That was the logical thing to do and you knew that, but it didn’t help with the situation at all. You had already missed him way too much and the guilt was basically eating you alive.

You should’ve been more careful. You should’ve checked everywhere, you should’ve at least called your mother to make sure if she had thrown it away but you had done none of that because of multiple distractions. Spencer had a point, you knew it was possible, you even knew your mother had done the same thing with Kenzie and yet you had told him nothing about that.

Until it blew up on your face.

There was absolutely no way he would ever trust you again, and you had no one to blame but yourself.

Your fingers were itching to text him, but you every time the urge hit you, you tried to do anything else but that. You concentrated on work, you accepted a new client, you did anything and everything that could stop yourself from thinking about him, but all of that was in vain.

Mina and Kenzie had invited you for dinner and you had accepted it just so that you could distract yourself and feel less terrible. Around nine, Lily had insisted you to be the one to read her a bedtime story, and that kid could ask for a freaking castle and you would get her that, so of course you had said yes.

“And they lived happily ever after,” you finished the story and pressed a kiss into her hair as she snuggled closer to you. “Time to sleep, bug.”

“I have a question.”

“Hm?” you asked, “What is it?”

“Will we all live happily ever after?”

“Oh yeah,” you nodded, “Certainly.”

“Here?”

You tilted your head, “Here? What does that mean?”

“I heard mommy talking to grandma on the phone about you moving to—“ she scrunched up her nose, trying to find the right word, “Ven…?”

“Venice?” you asked and shook your head, “No sweetheart, I’m not moving anywhere.”

“It’s just that,” she looked up at you, “In the stories, they go away sometimes right? I thought since you found your prince—“

“You don’t need someone to live happily ever after Lily,” you said, “And in this case, I don’t need to move somewhere else to live happily ever after. Besides, things are complicated with my prince nowadays.”

“So you’re not moving away?”

“I’m not.”

She gave you a toothless smile, “Yay!” she said, “I would miss you.”

“I’d miss you too bug,” you kissed her hair, “So much. But now that we both know I’m staying here, you need to go to sleep, we had a deal.”

“Fine, fine…” she heaved a dramatic sight and you turned off the lamp by her bed, getting up from the bed. “Good night!”

“Sweet dreams, bug,” you closed the door behind you and made your way to the living room where Mina and Kenzie were still sitting by the table, drinking wine.

“Thank you so much,” Kenzie said and you waved a hand in the air as you sat down.

“Of course,” you said, grabbing your wine glass, “Mina, she asked me if I was moving to Venice.”

Mina frowned, “What?”

“Yeah, she heard you talk to mom on the phone,” you muttered, “Is that still going on? I thought we put that behind us, I’m not leaving.”

She heaved a sigh, “You know how mom gets, she’s just worried.”

“Have you talked to Spencer yet?” Kenzie asked and you took a huge sip of your wine, shrugging your shoulders.

“He knows where I am.”

“I take that as a no.” Kenzie said and you scoffed a bitter laugh.

“If he wants to break up with me, he can pick the time.”

Mina’s head shot up, “Y/N…”

“Come on,” you forced yourself to say and downed your wine before tilting your glass towards Kenzie, “You guys know how it goes. Experience talking.”

Kenzie filled your glass, “Listen, I can tell you right now that finding that out was a shock, yes. I felt betrayed, also yes. But after a couple of days, the anger subsided. When we broke up, it was— it was just my anger calling the shots.”

Mina nodded slowly, “Yeah, and then we talked and solved it.”

“Exactly!” Kenzie snapped her fingers, “Besides, after the first argument… I went to my apartment and after I calmed down I had to question whether I wanted to lose Mina over that.”

You shook your head, “It’s different.”

“How?”

“You weren’t there,” you lit a cigarette and exhaled the smoke, “You didn’t see the way how he looked at me after that. Something inside him shifted and I don’t know how to change that, or fix that.”

Mina and Kenzie exchanged glances.

“I don’t think he will ever trust me again,” you managed to say, turning the cigarette between your fingers, “That is if he talks to me again. I think he might just call it quits over the phone to be honest. He doesn’t owe me anything after this point, after what happened.”

“Y/N, I saw you two together even before you started dating,” Mina said, “This is not the end. It’s just some stupid obstacle in the way, that’s it.”

You could feel the tears burning your eyes but you blinked them back.

“I’ve never-” you trailed off, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, you know? And if I lose this, lose him, I don’t know…” your voice cracked but you cleared your throat and took a sip of your wine again, “I have no idea what to do.”

Kenzie nibbled on her lip,

“You won’t have to, just—“ she started but was cut off when your phone started vibrating on the table. You lowered your glances to check the caller I.D flashing on the screen, then gasped, jumping on your feet.

Spencer.

“Excuse me,” you said and snatched the phone off the table to walk to Mina’s study, your heart slamming against your ribcage. You hoped that it was a good sign that he was calling you, instead of just ending your relationship via text and you closed the door behind you, then answered the phone.

“Hi,” your voice sounded way too squeaky even to your own ears and you shut your eyes for a moment, making a face.

“Hey,” he greeted you and you bit down on your lip, pushing your hair behind your ear as you walked in the study.

“How—um, how are you?”

“I’m good,” he said slowly, “How about you?”

“About the same,” you answered, “I was just thinking about you actually. I wanted to call you, but…”

“But you didn’t?” he asked and you shrugged your shoulders,

“I figured you might need some time away from,” you thought for a moment, trying to smile, “Well, away from me, I guess.”

He fell silent for a moment before he cleared his throat,

“Listen,” he said, “I just called to let you know that we— the team and I, I mean, we’re flying to Illinois in fifteen.”

Your head shot up, “Oh? There’s a new case?”

“Might be related to this one, we will see when we get there,” he said, “I just figured you’d…I don’t know, you’d want to know where I was.”

Even when you were quite possibly in the worst terms, he still wanted to make sure you knew about what was happening and that thought alone was enough to make you smile.

“Yeah absolutely,” you said, “That’s very thoughtful of you. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Sure thing.”

There was a pause before he took a deep breath.

“Anyway, yeah. That’s why I called. I’ll see you later—“

“Spencer,” you interrupted him, “Before you hang up, I want to say that I get why you’re upset, I really do. You have every right to be, but I was hoping…” you bit at your fingernail, “Maybe we can talk after you come back? Would that be possible?”

“Yeah,” he said after a beat, “Sure, that sounds good.”

“Yeah?” you let out a relieved breath, “Okay, great. Be careful out there, please?”

You could almost hear his small smile, “You too,” he said and hung up, making you let out a squeal and you sat down on the couch, pressing a hand over your chest.

You didn’t know it back then, but the next time you would see Spencer, it would be under very, very different circumstances.

And it definitely would not look like what you hoped it would.

***

Even though Mina and Kenzie insisted you to stay over for the night, you told them you had an important appointment the next morning. It wasn’t a lie either, you had been handling Vincent’s wedding’s possible venues since last week and finally you had narrowed it down to three, so you would be visiting those venues with him and his husband.

But that whole morning started very strange.

For starters, you hadn’t even heard your alarm go off, which was unusual, because that had never happened to you before. By the time you woke up, you had a terrible headache as if someone had hit your head with a baseball bat but you hadn’t even drunk that much last night. It felt way too difficult to even open your eyes, and your limbs felt like they were made of jelly as you forced yourself to sit up in the bed.

Where was your phone?

The wind coming from the open window moved the curtain and you frowned, trying to remember when you had opened the window before a shudder ran down your spine, the hairs on the back of your neck rising.

Spencer would’ve had some scientific explanation for it you were sure, but for you, it went deeper than that. It was your instincts, warning you that something was wrong.

Something in here didn’t feel right.

And every single cell in your body made sure you knew that.

Trying to make as little noise as you could, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed, blinking to get rid of the blurriness in your sight and looked around in the room for any potential weapons, then grabbed the nail file on the vanity before you opened the door. You peeked around the hall, but as soon as your gaze fell on the front door, you felt the goosebumps rising on your arms.

The front door wasn’t closed properly, and you were sure that you had closed it last night.

Your heart started pounding in your head but you stepped out of your room, still holding the nail file tightly just in case there was a sudden movement. You took another step, trying to fix your breathing but you happened to inhale deeply for a second, and that’s when you took the scent.

You smelt it before you could even see it, the bile climbing up your throat almost automatically.

Metallic and sweet.

Blood and jasmines.

You slowly lowered your glances to the floor connecting the hall to the living room to follow the small flowers of jasmines soaked in the red river of blood, leading behind the kitchen island. There were sirens going off in your head, screaming at you to run away but you took a deep breath, your whole body shaking as you stepped around the kitchen island, the warm blood soaking your feet before your eyes found the body lying completely still on the floor.

The nail file slipped from your closed fist as you stared at your ex-boyfriend Anthony, his eyes wide open and fixed on the ceiling, his hair and clothes drenched in his own blood.

The shock only lasted for one second.

Then a scream ripped itself from your throat.

Chapter 17

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer imagine #spencer imagines #spencer #reid #reid imagine #reid x you #dr spencer reid #reid x reader #criminal minds imagine #twisted

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shijas · 4 years ago

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HELLOOOOO ITAFUSHIKUGI IS SO CUTE. BYE IM SCREAMING,, omg share some of ur hcs ? 🥺

WOOOW YAY!! they defo toe the line between a full on relationship and qpr for me and i adore them!! some hcs:

these kids spend like 60% of their downtime napping!! megumi usually ends up in the middle because i live by thermodynamic sink megumi! nobara sleeps like a gremlin, in that she probably rolls around a lot and can end up kicking people (shameless projection i’m a horrible person to sleep next to), whereas yuji sleeps like the dead unless he’s super tired in which he will probably murmur under his breath. megumi thinks he has no sleeping habits but he definitely snores and/or wheezes at some part of his sleep cycle

i think its funny that they all had crushes on each other but didn’t realise it at all, like megumi and nobara both initially think i’m not gonna crush on yuji, it’s yuji for goodness sake and then nobara knocks on megumi’s door at midnight like you have to save me i have a crush on yuji and megumi is like oh my god you toooo????????? anyway this is all fine and stuff until nobara finds herself with a crush on megumi and she’s like wtf the tokyo air has ruined me and then by wild guess she realises yuji has a crush on megumi so now she’s playing double agent while she has a crush on BOTH of them and probably runs crying to maki like senpai,,,, put me out of my misery, meanwhile maki literally heard megumi and yuji dying over the fact they both called nobara cute out loud when she did something moderately evil to gojo in class. eventually they all figure it out and it’s a fun polypile

yuji does most of the cooking because he’s the most competent cook, if it’s a complaictsd enough dish that megumi helps, nobara gets stuck with dishwasher and dishes duty much to her chargin.... megumi usually helps her with that too tho so it’s never too bad! the only thing that yuji doesn’t usually cook is tea. nobara is the tea expert, saori taught nobara all the tips and tricks to the perfect cup of anything and especially after cold or rainy missions, her blends are super well appreciated. to round out the kitchen chores, megumi is in charge of the shopping list because he’ll actually take note of things that are running out before they run out and draft a list as time passes, while preparing coupons/checking for discounts,,, and because he probably had the best taste in snacks...

yuji definitely hits his hinted at growth spurt and just towers over everyone (gojo is so put out, where did his tiny cute student go ㅜㅜ) and his strength just seems to increase expontially. nobara and megumi weigh NOTHING to him, he abuses his new tall powers constantly, like he wasn’t already abusing them before. hugs already guaranteed that you’d be a few cms off the ground and now nobara literally shrieks at how high she’s lifted. megumi 100% doesn’t know how to behave around him too like one day he was using those 2cms to his advantage and tilting yuji’s head up slightly and now he’s literally walking into yuji’s chest in the mornings it’s surreal. yuji 1000% relishes in the beneath the lashes looks the other two send him but he goes horribly pink so it’s a double edged sword

yuji takes them to visit his grandfathers grave eventually but like there’s 1000% no angst, idk if any of yall have read csm but think of it like denji and power with aki just a bit more respectful. nobara is absolutely loosing it about going out to the countryside again even tho sendai is a pretty sizeable city; megumi feels kinda bad about the whole circumstances surrounding grandpa itadori’s death and so tries his best to be comforting and supportive only to bicker with nobara insistently by accident. yuji doesn’t mind tho, he didn’t want it to be a sombre event or anything and is pretty upbeat about, he probably makes a joke about how his grandpa didn’t expect him to gain bout a girlfriend AND boyfriend and how he was living double the high school experience. nobara and megumi probbaly promise to take care of yuji when in reality 80% time yuji is taking care of them and because they’re absurdly terrible at it

nobara and yuji definitely bond over self care stuff like face masks, nails, expensive bath stuff. megumi is rather impartial to it until they show him the wonders of self care tm. honestly he still wouldn’t go out of his way to do all the stuff they do without them but he can definitely appreciate how good nobara and yuji look in those animal print sheetmasks or the smell of yuji’s grapefruit conditioner and nobara’s rose water toner or whatever idk i’m bad at self care tooo sjsjsjjdjr

escape bunny shenanigans,,,,, megumi tries so hard to make the distinction that his shinigami are not pets and nobara and yuji do not listen they’ll be like megumi,,, bunny,,, and suddenly the room is full of bunnies who are just waiting for good pets and grapes or whatever fruit they’ve bought in surplus to feed the bunnies. the remaining divine dog definitely lives on the end of whoever’s bed they’re sleeping in that week, if gojo asks they’ll be like megumi is training his stamina and how much time he can keep his shingami around when in reality nobara has bought dog costumes and toys and yuji has like 9 different gourmet dog food recipes open on his phone

i think living together, even before swinging their relationships, comes with a certain number of boundaries they just kinda fall away and so eating off each other’s plates, drinking from the same bottle etc etc comes about pretty fast like megumi doesn’t like peppers cool nobara and yuji will happily eat them off his plate; oh there’s only one ramune left cool let’s split the bottle three ways you know what i’m saying? nobara is probably the first one to hit the clothing and skinship boundaries because she gives zero fucks like she’s walking around in her towel cuz she left her sheet mask in the fridge to get chilly and soothing and whatever and yuji sees her while doing dinner prep and she’s like what you never see a titty before? and he laughs so hard they just kinda forget about it. it’s super hot in summer and megumi is literally dying in just his shorts by the open door and nobara sees his stomach and is like is this a weather appropriate place to lay? and proceeds to belly flop ontology of him anyway. yuji and megumi deinftely have one of those hey, stop screaming it’s me moments in the shower. the boundaries blur and disappear and anything that needs to en addressed is and that’s that...

clearly... i have gotten carried away but yeah,,, them 🥰

#itafushikugi #or as i like to call it #nobara + silly boys #my hcs #the brainrot expands sigshdhjd #a lot of these again i’ve already mentioned or hinted at in my works where they’re all just friends cuz their relationship just strikes me #as like that you know? the seemless transition between strangers and friends and lovers #happy healthy teens falling in love #ofc you can read these totally platonic like most of my stuff actually since i am unable to fully commit to romance... it’s my poteintal aro #god this is so long i wrote four took a shower and ended up with four more #i just think they’re neat #this gucci!!

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babaleshy · 3 years ago

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I'm Autistic

Because this will likely be a lengthy, wordy post about my self-diagnosis as Autistic as well as all of my experiences regarding Autistic traits, I'm going to leave a "read more" link so that you're not scrolling for ages just to catch up on your feed.

Ah, I see you've clicked "keep reading" or "read more" or whatever this site has it labeled as, now. You don't get to be mad at how long this is or how much of a waste of time reading this may be to you because you consciously clicked on the link. Therefore, I am exempt from taking responsibilities of eating up any bit of your time, including the time you've wasted reading this disclaimer.

So... Yes. I am. And it's a self-diagnosis right now.

You're probably thinking that I saw a Tik Tok clip, checked out a page on WebMD, and decided that I'm Autistic (this is in reference to a Tik Tok I saw last night that nearly made me spit out my drink because of how painfully accurate the "what people think self-diagnosis is vs reality" clip was). That is, of course, not the case.

A few years ago (likely 2018), I don't recall what it was I read online, but it made me go, "Oh wow, that makes so much sense to me," in regards to a neurodivergent trait. However, this was then I thought I had ADHD. My husband has ADHD, was diagnosed with it as a child, and because his dad forced the doctor (this was like, in the late 90s, early 2000s I think) to put him on Adderall and Ritalin, my husband does not remember 3 years of his life because he was a drooling, zombified mess. Why did his dad do this? Because his grades were bad. Did this help with his grades? No. Did his dad take him off the meds because he didn't get the desired result? Also no. My husband wasn't even informed on what ADHD was. He was simply told he had it and to take these pills. It wasn't until he (my husband) read the label saying that it could increase the risk of heart issues that he cussed his dad out and flushed all the pills down the toilet. Up until very recently, he wasn't sure if he actually had ADHD until he saw a YouTuber who was actually diagnosed with it display the exact traits he had.

But he didn't see this YouTuber when I thought I had ADHD, so my husband couldn't exactly relate, plus I didn't want to trigger anything with him on the subject.

But the more I researched, the more I realized I could be on the spectrum. It wasn't until 2019 that I was printing out articles, trait lists, etc. to highlight and put into a folder (which is thick and nearly bursting with what I've printed out to have a hardcopy of records highlighting the traits that I have, including traits my husband and my mom see in me) that I realized "I could have Asperger's."

Of course, I no longer use that term after finding out it was named after a n*zi, and I began to embrace the term "Autistic" instead.

But the thing that triggered me into going, "Wait, so it's not ADHD that I think I have, it's Asperger's?" was, like my husband, seeing a YouTuber talk about their traits and experiences. I had identical struggles, myself. (Through this same YouTuber, I also found out I'm greysexual, too! There's a name to describe my experience with sexual attraction! Yay!)

There are a lot of VERY SPECIFIC TRAITS Autistic people experience that aren't mentioned by the YouTuber or in anything that I've printed out and highlighted that I have found through various Tik Toks that I have personally experienced that simply further solidifies the fact that I'm definitely on the spectrum. When I showed the Tik Tok I mentioned earlier (I don't remember their name) to my husband last night, he was wide-eyed because the description of how that individual self-diagnosed themselves WAS EXACTLY WHAT I DID WORD FOR WORD HOLY SHIT.

I was already convinced I am Autistic, but each time I read Twitter threads of people's experiences with their Autistic traits, each time I watch Tik Toks or certain YouTubers share their experiences, it further solidifies that yep, I'm Autistic.

What's amazing is that my husband is very supportive. I'm extremely lucky to have married him. I've been a terrible masker but he loves me anyways. He never gave me shit for my meltdowns and tried to help me out, thinking I was just horribly overly stressed. Now that he knows why I've had the few outwardly noticeable meltdowns that I've had throughout our years together, he knows how to help me more, now. And while he's figured out my traits and what issues I have, knowing that I'm on the spectrum helps him make sense of why I'm like this, and he can help me accordingly whether it's to prepare for something in advance, help me calm down, etc.

(I should also add here real quick that there's a high chance I have OCD as well, but less of the compulsive actions and more of the obsessive thoughts, but I'm not entirely sure just yet if this is the case. I'm actually hoping to see someone about this but with the pandemic, I don't know when that will be.)

Now... onto the traits and experiences.

My Traits (that stand out with neon lights)(Will copy word-for-word a trait my mom or husband see in me and it will be typed in a different color.)

Having a folder that has all of my research I've obsessively looked up, printed out, highlighted what I saw in myself with one color (yellow) while highlighting what my mom and my husband see with another color (pink). I'm also using this folder to make this list as a reference because I sometimes forget certain traits I do have are because I'm Autistic. (I'm 32 as I write this, so when so much of what you think, do, and experience that you see is normal for you turns out to be an Autistic trait, it takes a while to get used to it and thus remember that because you haven't had a label for it your whole life.)

Despite being goth/punk, I dress as comfortably as I can. Textures aren't a very big issue for me, but what feels like strangulation of my body tends to be a problem. I cannot handle having the cross seams of pants feeling like I have a chopstick slowly impaling my vulva, or I can't stand how tight some shorts are that they pinch my hip joints.

I've NEVER spent much time grooming my own hair. It's either tiring, I"m impatient and want it done NOW, or both. This is why I have a Tank Girl haircut (all buzzed except for bangs), where I can basically "wash and go." (Husband does my haircuts and dyes and he's kickass at it.)

Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance.

Is youthful for age, in looks, dress, behavior, and tastes.

Usually a little more expressive in the face and gesture than male counterparts.

"May not have strong sense of identity and can be very chameleon like before diagnosis." (This resonates with me in the form that I never saw myself in ANY fictional character other than Tank Girl. My husband agrees with this opinion, but he also says he also sees a lot of me in Caulifla from Dragonball Super.)

I enjoy reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's (sometimes), can have favorites which are a refuge.

Uses control as a stress management (like routines, rules, rigid certain habits, etc.)

Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.

I've been seen as "sensitive" by some, and mocked for crying a lot by others.

I struggled with social aspects of college and have 2 partial degrees.

Often have trouble holding a job and finds employment very daunting.

Slow at comprehending at times due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.

DOES NOT DO WELL WITH VERBAL INSTRUCTIONS; MUST BE WRITTEN DOWN

Special interests (I'll get into these later).

Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.

Anxiety and fear are predominant emotions (some of which might be due to possible OCD).

I do have some sensory issues such as visual processing issues at times, certain sounds, certain smells, food I think, and issues with sunlight and my goddamn retinas.

Moody and prone to bouts of depression. Both of my parents as well as my husband have described my personality as reminding them of a cat.

Mild to severe gastro-intestinal difficulties (some of which could be due to endometriosis, btw).

I stim a little such as leg-bouncing, foot-waggling, some hand-flapping, some bouncing, the "spine-shimmy," joint-cracking, or playing with my ears.

Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.

Hates injustice and hates being misunderstood, which incites anger and rage.

Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, especially after a meltdown, likely to stutter and may have a raspy voice.

Words and actions often misunderstood by others.

Perceived to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly.

Very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passionate/obsessive interests.

Will shutdown in social situations once overloaded but generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a "performance."

Doesn't go out much; will prefer to go out with partner only (aka my husband).

Will not do "girly" things like shopping.

Takes relationships seriously.

There's a bit on this chart (some of you probably already know by know what chart I'm using here) that says due to sensory issues, one would either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it. I'm in the former camp complete with a pretty high libido.

Often prefers the company of animals.

So there are the traits that REALLY stick out like a sore thumb. These come from a site regarding female Asperger traits or however it's labeled as. I have plenty more from two other articles I printed out with lots of highlighting, but the chart actually sums a lot of the definitive shit quite nicely. At some point in this list, I could tell I went "fuck it" and copied many things word for word anyways since I'll be talking about experiences later in this post.

But it was this chart that I'd discovered that I started to realize that I really am on the spectrum, and to triple check, I asked my mom and my husband if they saw any of this in me. The traits typed in green are ones I wasn't sure of and had to ask them if they saw it. I'm not always aware of how I am, who I am at times, etc. I also didn't want to lie about it, so I had to get second and third opinions.

Despite all of this, only very few people that know me IRL know about me being Autistic. This is because I was heavily bullied growing up and since I haven't exactly left my hometown, I really don't want whoever stayed in the area as well to either have more fuel and re-enter my life that way, or try really hard to relieve their guilty conscience and demand that I forgive them or some shit. I also don't want "Autism Mommies" to come at my ass either asking that I help their kid (I'm not fond of children so that's not happening, plus ableism is what fucks a lot of Autistic people over regarding of age but they won't take that for an answer) or that because they---a neurotypical person---have a child who's Autistic, then that means they know all about it and because I'm not exactly like their child then I can't possibly be Autistic. It's just a whole mountain of shit I don't wanna get into.

This next bit will be split into 2 parts. One will be my special interests, and the other will be my experiences from my past that are prime examples of being Autistic long before anyone in the common public knew what Autism actually was.

My Special Interests (Both Forever & Temporary)

The following list will have my special interests but with indicators in parentheses as to whether they are forever-interests (as in, I never lost interest in the thing) or temporary (meaning, it was short-lived be it by weeks, months, or a few years). This will be in chronological order, meaning: the order of which these have appeared throughout my life.

Barney (temporary; helped me skip preschool and become honor roll student in kindergarten though)

Halloween (forever)

the color orange (forever)

dinosaurs (forever)

Donkey Kong Country esp. for SNES (forever)

animals (forever)

Godzilla movies (forever)

monster movies (forever)

Pokemon (temporary; I still like Pokemon, but it's not as hyperfocused as it used to be)

Digimon (temporary; same situation as with Pokemon)

Dragonball Z (forever)

Sailor Moon (on-and-off)

Ultimate Muscle (Kinnikuman Nisei) (forever)

Freddy vs Jason movie (still like, but the hyperfocus was temporary)

horror movies (forever)

Transformers (temporary)

Dark Knight movie (temporary)

Harley Quinn (temporary)

Lobo (temporary)

X-Men (forever, but only certain universes, mainly the 90s cartoon, and the character is always Hank McCoy)

neon-colored stuff (temporary; kind of some sort of semi-rave/techno phase)

books (forever; this was when I discovered it's "legal" to enjoy books if you "aren't smart"; I may explain this logic I had later in the post)

sex/sexuality/sexology (forever on the first two, temporary on the last one)

BDSM (on-and-off)

feminism (temporary in regards to doing research and educating myself; I still hold the views I've developed as a result, just not obsessively researching this topic anymore)

anarchism (forever)

ecology (forever)

Pleistocene epoch (forever)

goth and punk stuff (forever after discovering what these things are all about for real compared to when I was in high school and had no idea how to ask, who to ask, or where to look this stuff up at in rural Ohio)

Hellblazer (temporary)

Serbian heritage (on-and-off)

bats (temporary)

arachnids (forever)

teratophilia (forever; finally have a word to describe this damn kink)

gardening (current; unsure)

Russian language (current; unsure)

DIY things (forever)

Towards the end, it may not be in the proper order thanks to slowly losing my damn mind being cooped up mostly in my room on this farm since moving back here in 2014. The two that are "current;unsure" are ones I have a hyperfocus in right now, but I don't know if this will be temporary or not. I certainly hope not, especially considering how useful these things will be. And while I have gardening as one of them, I haven't properly begun yet because I get empty promises from my parents where they claim they'd help me, not to worry about it, then get irritated when I ask where the help is and they suddenly can't give me the help when I told them I needed it.

I should also note that I don't exactly have an encyclopedic knowledge in a whole lot of these interests that are forever-interests because I'm normally exhausted just trying to exist with minimal trouble from people. I'm hoping this will change. The things I know I have an almost encyclopedic knowledge in would be Dragonball Z, animals/ecology, and... a-and that's it. That's really it. That's all I've got because Dragonball Z was so profoundly different compared to other cartoons I've watched in the 90s that it was a wonderful escape, and I grew up around animals, taking care of animals, and watching nature documentaries. The stress I went through growing up has caused my memory of some of that wonderful animal knowledge to be lost and what could be re-gained may be easily forgotten again, hence why I need to narrow my focus for what I'd like to be an ecologist for. While I love paleontology, I want to help the living world's ecosystems and environments, too. I'd love to go back to school for this stuff now that I'm more informed of who I am and what I want in life (as opposed to being forced to pick a college major while still in high school while I'm just trying to survive the concept of existence).

In terms of collecting things pertaining to my interests, a common pattern you'll see me have is a very slowly growing Hank McCoy collection. This is largely because there isn't too much stuff made regarding this character. (There also isn't much stuff I can find that involves Piccolo, Cyndaquil, Donkey Kong, giant ground sloths, etc. that isn't already snatched up by other fans.)

Now, I'm going to get into the list of experiences. Some of which will talk about my special interests, but I also really want to talk about my struggles, too.

Experiences That Screamed "I'm Autistic"

In gradeschool, I was friends with someone who probably wasn't actually a friend and her mom made her hang out with me since I didn't really have any friends. She has told me several times that she didn't want to be my friend anymore with some kind of hostile catty smile, but I just.. I wasn't getting it. Because there was a smile. Why say that with a smile? After all we've been through? Then she's back to being my friend the next week. She really wanted to hang out with the popular girls (yes, there were cliques in 90s American gradeschool) and has done countless things to sabotage our friendship such as telling me Barney is a fake, Donkey Kong was a real gorilla who hung himself, etc. And I believed all this shit, too, in an attempt to still be an acceptable friend. She even told me that I couldn't be a witch because I liked toads so much (toads were the only wildlife I excitedly interacted with in my back yard on a regular basis).

I love Halloween for many reasons, but one of them (aside from my favorite color being involved) was the fact that it was acceptable to wear a mask. I love (and still do) the idea of covering my face because I feel less "naked" to the world. So this pandemic had a small plus for me in the form of mask-wearing outside of Halloween has become somewhat more acceptable.

In 5th grade, another classmate who had more obvious Autistic traits and was diagnosed with Asperger's at the time was an asshole to me. They would constantly give me shit and bully me for whatever reason. When I finally took a stand, the teachers on duty at recess called me to the bottom of the hill, forcing me to look at them WITHOUT allowing me to have my hands up to block the sunlight that hurt my eyes, and were able to manipulate me into "admitting picking on so-and-so for no reason" because I chased them around the playground where a group of girls (the same cliquey assholes the former "friend" wanted to mingle with) had to group-carry me away. They're the ones who snitched and they gave me those same hostile smiles. That's when I learned that not all smiles meant good things. I was 10.

I sometimes "lose the ability" to ask for help long before the "help" I ever got in any circumstance was just me being met with frustration by whoever is trying to "help" me or I'm met with "sorry, can't help you there. (The former being with homework or school work, the latter being with going to authorities about bullies.)

Growing up, I was never girly (or girly enough) and I've tried to, but I failed miserably. My special interests would roar through and because it was too odd or different or annoying, it gave other girls fuel for bullying me with.

Regarding the lack of being girly enough, I was at a pool party with the former "friend" mentioned earlier and she started this "game" where she and the other girls would leap into the pool saying, "I love you, Leonardo!" This was in 4th grade and in reference to the Titanic movie, which at that point, I'd never heard of, because I was too pumped for the latest Land Before Time sequel. So when I leapt into the pool, I said, "I love you, Raphael." All the girls were confused, asked who that was. I then asked, "Aren't we playing Ninja Turtles?" Because the only Leonardo I knew of was a fucking Ninja Turtle, goddamnit. Who let you brats watch that shitty romance film anyways? Boring as fuck.

Aside from the occasional weekend visits or sleepovers at the former "friend's" house, I didn't get to socialize much, so I would spend most of my days (especially in the summer) watching what was on TV or watching from our very large VHS collection. During which I would make mental notes on how certain characters acted or what they said and try to remember that to mimic them in a social setting, which would be out of place because I'd be so focused on mainly the dialogue that once it prompts me to say the thing, they don't respond how I expect them to and then I'm at a loss.

I was very ignorant of music and didn't even know the concept of independent or underground bands existed. Plus, rural Ohio is a cultural wasteland. Otherwise, I would've gotten into metal, goth, and punk way earlier in life. So I thought that bands that existed were because television said so.

Speaking of an odd logic... If it was taboo or bad to talk about, I thought it was illegal. Thus, I thought any knowledge about sex was illegal and that it was supposed to happen "naturally."

I also thought that, because I wasn't considered as smart by my peers, some teachers, and even as such in the form of an insult from my parents from time to time (despite what they claim NOW), that also meant I wasn't allowed to enjoy books, because only smart people are allowed to enjoy reading. So therefore, it would be illegal for me, a not-smart person, to enjoy reading a book. So I had to focus on the pictures because if I enjoyed reading, somehow everyone would know and then I'd get into trouble.

I also thought it was illegal to talk about periods.

I socially struggled BADLY when I got to middle school because my brain was like... 4 years behind? How the fuck do people know all these bigger words? Or complex issues? This was also when I had to start suppressing ALL urges to cry because at that age, I'm not "supposed" to cry over everything. So I still, to this day, suppress it to the point of guaranteeing inducing a headache. Because I've always caught shit for crying.

Middle school was when I met an oppressive "friend" who was obsessed with me because she had a crush on me and was rather controlling of who I could and couldn't talk to and got pissy if I got close to making a new friend. Because I was desperate for a friend that wasn't like the former "friend," I allowed this abuse into my life.

High school was me just trying to survive. By the time I got home, I was too mentally exhausted to enjoy anything short of watching TV or whatever was rented from Blockbuster.

My brain was still feeling like it was years behind, and I struggled to keep up with whatever was supposed to be something I knew about, including the concept of masturbation.

Like I said earlier, anything sex-related might've been illegal to talk about, and because masturbation was still kinda taboo, I feared I'd get in trouble, but my teenage hormones compelled me to do it a LOT. It consumed my free time almost like an escape, a form of stimming, but I was shameful of it to the point of suicidal thoughts.

The former bullet was due to being raised in a christian household. My parents didn't have such views on sex like this, but I was afraid of being in trouble for asking, took to the internet, and caught some misinfo about how immoral it was. I mourned I'd be going to hell.

Speaking of religion, I thought it was illegal to change your religious beliefs, and there was only Judiasm, Muslim, and Buddhism outside of christianity (I'm Pagan, now).

While I was excited to get away from my parents presumably for good after high school, college was a new form of hell. The sudden, dramatic change in environment and lack of ANY preparation for living like an adult on my own caused me to mentally/socially/emotionally malfunction. I had outbursts I desperately tried to suppress, I felt stupid because everybody sounded smarter than me, I didn't actually want to go to art school but wasn't smart enough for anything else and never really bothered to better my artistic skills and thus felt like I shouldn't be there anyways, I struggled to fit in better, I had no idea how to function that certain habits such as neglect of my own dishes on my desk developed because I LITERALLY COULD NOT SEE MY OWN MESSES DUE TO THE STRESS I WAS EXPERIENCING. This was 3 or 4 long YEARS of this.

Attending art classes mostly run by very demanding (and demeaning) teachers while my art skills weren't up to par added to this stress on top of me not actually wanting to be THERE in the first place, just away from my parents.

I nearly ruined a friendship with a roommate because of my struggles. I'm not even sure if she is aware of my Autism because I'm afraid to approach her about it for some reason.

Plenty of times throughout my life where I'm loud and don't even realize it.

I've info-dumped on my parents, but right now they half or completely ignore me.

I've tried making eye contact, but it's like staring in the sun not in the sense of pain, but in the sense of by natural reaction looking away. When I force myself to make eye contact, I'm spending so much focus and effort into doing that to the point where I am unable to pay attention to what the person is saying. Instead, I stare at the mouth so I make sure I hear correctly the words they're telling me.

Each time someone is mad at me and gives me the silent treatment, and I inquire what I did to piss them off, they get madder because I'm somehow supposed to immediately know when I fucking don't. Then, half the time, they continue not telling me and I have to hear it from someone else. This further confuses me as to why they don't just simply fucking tell me.

I've annoyed people to listening to the same one or few songs over and over again. A lot (currently obsessed with the Sunset Overdrive and Tank Girl movie soundtracks).

I can "smell" the heat outside on a summer day.

I can smell other people's unique scents sometimes (especially when in someone's house; also experienced this in other people's dorms).

I can't remember what grade this was, but in high school, we went to some kind of space camp facility thing, and our class was split into two groups: one group was the group who was on Mars and ready to come home, the other was on Earth and can't wait to go to Mars. I was in the former group. My job in this little fun display interactive room thing was to examine the isotopes and report... uh.. I can't remember.. Report something that was off. Everyone else was dicking around with what they're supposed to do, and I was actually doing my job, and then said something, like I was supposed to, if I found something that was off (I don't remember the specifics). When the scientist who worked at the facility praised me on "saving the crew," I caught this look from the entire class a look I can't quite describe other than they didn't seem to like the fact that I did a good thing and was being praised for it instead of any of them (or they were shocked that a "dumb girl" like me could achieve this and get praise for it, I don't know.. hard to tell). This was a science class field trip, but despite this, I didn't have an interest in space, and still didn't feel I was smart. (Come to think of it, I think this was actually an 8th grade field trip, I can't remember.)

Just discovered this today: I'm actually very easily overwhelmed that could trigger a meltdown when I wake up. I don't know for how long until that point passes, either. But this could also be explained with how I've reacted to certain alarm clocks (the ones with the bells just induce pure rage in me). Either I will be on the verge of a meltdown or I'll have a fucking headache all day. Normally, I just wanna drink my coffee and either read or practice a little on Duolingo.

I don't always have enough room for a lot of info in my head for things that I like, so I have to carefully narrow shit down. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what to do about my urge to get my hands on some monster movies while making sure nothing else I've retained info for wanes. Not sure if this is due to stress or what. But apparently I have designated compartments for certain categories in my brain. If I get into monster movies, continue to work on my knwoledge on ecology and paleontology, and gain more knowledge about arachnids, that shouldn't impede on the "language" category, so whatever I learn in Russian will remain safe.

Interest "Webs."

I have what I'd like to call an "interest web." My special interests in one thing can lead me to having an interest in another. I care about nature, and I also care about paleontology. Paleoecology is something I'd like to dip my toes into. But because this all involves nature, I have an interest in botany (though it's still intimidating so I'm sticking with local native trees) and arachnids (after conquering my fears and learning more about them). So the web stops at arachnids there (no pun intended).

Back to ecology and paleoecology...

I have a major interest in the Pleistocene because it was just before we humans started writing shit down. Hints of that era echoes within our current environment, from the pronghorn being "unnecessarily" fast (due to miracynonyx, the "American cheetah," which is now an extinct cat) to avocados not seeding like they should without human assistance as well as the yucca trees (Joshua trees) going into retreat thanks to the absence of giant ground sloths.

But the planet is warming, and we could use all the help from plants that we get, especially when it comes to making sure that permafrost stays frozen. So there's this "Pleistocene Park" project taking place in Russia, and one day, if I get into the field of paleontology, I may want to chat with those involved in that project, but one can't expect every other country to know English.

There's also FROZEN PLEISTOCENE MEGAFAUNA CARCASSES BEING FOUND IN PERMAFROST, too.

On top of all of this, Russia's northern lands will become habitable for humans if shit hits the fan and the planet's mostly fucked, so it's still nice to know the language.

See how all of these interests intertwine? (It also helps that since I am of Serbian heritage but can't find accessible resources to learn the language and I wanna know a Slavic language that Russian is kind of accessible. It also seems to be the only Slavic language "commonly" found in colleges when it comes to foreign language courses.) This is why I call them "interest webs." Not sure if other Autistic people have them, but it's something that I have.

The second one could simply involve Halloween, punk, goth, monsters, and teratophilia with Halloween being the gateway because my favorite color is orange.

Just thought this would be a fun thing to touch on real quick.

My Sensory Traits

I do experience some sensory traits, but they're not intense like some people would assume (unless I'm simply not noticing how intense they can be).

I can "smell" the summer heat, which was something I thought everybody else experienced but I'm wrong.

My retinas hurt in bright sunlight despite not looking anywhere near the sun, which I also thought everybody else experienced.

Drinks taste different or off in some way if they're not in a particular mug, glass, etc. that the drink is supposed to be in. (I have certain mugs that I enjoy my coffee in, but the other mugs? They taste off. I can't explain why. I have ONLY TWO acceptable little tumbler glasses for orange juice.)

Breakfast food does not taste like breakfast food unless it's on this one specific plate from my childhood.

Dinner can be iffy on certain plates, but the safest go-to is the knock-off blue willow plates.

Lunch is acceptable on anything, but if I'm having simply a sandwich, it must be on a small plate.

I have specific forks I'd prefer to use because of how they feel in my hand, how the food-part feels in my mouth, and how the fork itself tastes.

Gotta have cinnamon in my coffee. I just do. It's not coffee without it.

I cannot fucking handle hair snippets of any size for any reason on my body. This is why there is a rigid procedure to where my husband must buzz my hair over a paper-towel-covered sink (to avoid clogging the drain) while wearing a particular tanktop Harley Quinn night shirt, and then I must shower immediately afterwards. During the haircut, my skin itches like mad like I'm being poked by the hairs directly even in places where hair snippets have never, ever gone.

I'm overly sensitive to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes.

Also cannot brush teeth with cold water because it's so painful (this was LONG before I had dental issues and persists to this day). Even my tongue hurts from it.

I'm picky as fuck with candy. Trick-or-treating was sometimes difficult because all I cared about was either orange-flavored stuff, or chocolate. Only specific chocolates, too (Krackle, Mr. Goodbar, Crunch, Butterfinger, Reese's, that was it.) Skittles were okay, but a lot of the baggies I got had a LOT the red ones and the red ones suck. Can't stand the other candies. (But my tastes have changed since then, and I opt for European chocolate from Aldi's as they are far superior, especially Moser Roth's 70% dark chocolate and Choceur's coffee and cream chocolate.)

Speaking of candy, the Whopper's Robin's Eggs tasted better than regular Whoppers and I will never be able to explain why.

Despite loving orange flavored stuff, I have trust issues when I see an unlabeled orange candy because there's the dangerous chance it could be fucking peach flavored. *gag* (I like real peaches, but the artificial flavored ones suck balls.) Due to my dental situation, I cannot enjoy very much in a way of candy, and the only artificial orange flavoring I CAN enjoy is through Vitamin D gummies... And even then, EVEN THEN I have to worry about the fucking peach flavors if I have to go with a different brand because we can't get our hands on a bottle from Simple Truth.

Artificial cherry flavoring is death.

The ONLY flavored medicine that was acceptable to me was orange (of course) and those dissolving strips that were grape-flavored that they don't fucking make anymore because fuck me that's why. Everything else was peer-pressured to do shots kiddie edition.

The different colored coatings on M&M's taste different from one another and I cannot explain why. It's very subtle, hardly noticeable, BUT I CAN TELL.

Peanutbutter is fucking amazing.

The smell of peanutbutter is fucking not.

There are these frozen meals my husband gets for days he doesn't have energy to cook and one of them (all from the same brand) smells like fucking hell.

My husband's Nissan Cup Noodle ramen overpowers my incense despite what other household members say.

I love incense, especially dragonsblood, "coffee time," pumpkin spice, raven, and rain.

All of the autumn scents or scents associated with autumn are orgasmic to me.

The smell of artificial cherry is death.

I would love to have perfume or body spray of Play-Doh.

I can compare smells of some places to others, such as the library branch I frequent smells like my gradeschool, as do SOME of their books' pages, and when my husband and I walked through this hall-like tunnel-like storefront in downtown Pittsburgh, I said it smelled like my grandma's basement, and he thought the same, so we're in aggreeance that all grandma's basements smell the same. Except for my Baba and Deda's. Their basement smelled like they actually still enjoy life and had their shit together.

Speaking of gradeschool smells, my gradeschool had two directions of classrooms, one led towards the gym, but the hall off to the side was carpeted, had some nice colors, and held 2 kindergarten classes and 2 first grade classes. That section of the building had its distinctive smells. The other direction led to the office, the cafeteria, and the hall with the 2 classes of grades 2 through 5 plus the preschool and the art/music class was. The smell was different in all classes EXCEPT for the music/art class, and I never went to preschool so I wouldn't know what that smells like.

ALL PRINCIPLE OFFICES SMELL THE SAME. HOW.

I could smell when my husband accidentally put in cinnamon when he thought he grabbed paprika in a dish that I liked. He was terrified of telling me. That was a happy accident and it became a permanent ingredient. He was mortified and shocked that I could smell his whoopsie in my dinner he made me.

I can also smell the cinnamon they use in Little Caeser's pizza crust. Yes. They use cinnamon. But I was the only one to notice.

Honey is like peanutbutter: it tastes amazing. But holy shit fuck that smell.

Gas stations smell like death, sadness, and questioning life's choices.

No two people's car interiors smell alike.

I can smell when it will rain soon, especially if it's about to storm.

I'm the one who noticed that hairy white oldfield asters smell like cake batter.

Dominant yellow filling my entire vision can be sometimes painful.

I used to be able to "hear" the color yellow in my head so much I thought yellow actually made a noise. It was a particular shade of yellow, and it made this Playskool toy-like clicking bell ringing noise, but really obnoxiously, almost painfully. I don't know how to describe the shade other than "cloudy pastel lemon?" It looked like the fucking lemon-flavored medicine I had to take as a kid.

My parents tried mixing in this cherry flavored death medicine in with my orange soda thinking I wouldn't know the difference but I did, so I dumped it down the drain and opened a new can because that can of Big K orange was fucking ruined.

Orange is wonderful to my eyes. But it's a hard color for me to find when it comes to getting things in a particular color. My back-up colors are red, green, and purple.

The sunlight hurts my retinas, even when I'm not looking at the sky at all, but the pain intensity increases the further I look up on a sunny summer day. This has been like this since childhood. Prescriptive sunglasses shouldn't be fucking expensive and should be covered by healthcare insurance.

I have to try really FUCKING hard not to stare at someone's muscles in person because ugh... Good thing I rarely see anybody who's well-built. (No really, this isn't even really a sexual thing, I'm so fucking fascinated and once I realize "oh, so that particular muscle looks like that from that angle", I get a glimmer of hope that I MIGHT be able to draw something humanoid since I suck at drawing people.)

Orange trees as so pleasing to the eye, and these are much more socially acceptable to stare at, lest I'm in person and the property owner might think I'm plotting to steal some (luckily I've never been anywhere near a place that grows orange trees).

Neon lights are amazing and I want them to come the fuck back. I swear, stores were so much more enjoyable of an environment when they were common. Such lights improve my mood in a way I cannot describe. I'm no longer in a hurry to get home if I am in the presence of neon lights.

Sunny days during winter are painful because the sunlight reflects off the snow. I'm painfully blinded if I look outside or go anywhere.

I cannot handle the sight of someone having boogers/snot hanging from their nose, not the sight of someone vomiting, nor the sight of an syringe needle piercing flesh.

I cannot handle the sound of alarm clock bells. I have woken up in a rage and been in a bad mood I try so hard to suppress for a good portion of the day. If I hear an alarm clock bell now these days, I wanna take it and chuck it across the room regardless the time of day or if I'm already awake. It's not so bad if I hear it from a video. In person? That's starting a war with me.

Children crying or screaming (especially babies) are almost painful to me and triggers my fight-or-flight response.

The reason why I was the loudest mellophone player in marching band was to drown out hearing the fucking trumpets. And I did; I was louder than the trumpets. (I quit marching band my sophomore year but for different reasons.)

Much of the music from the 80s that gave it that sound that definitely said it's from the 80s is very pleasing to my ears.

I love punk music for its messages, lyrics, and energy, but goth always puts me into a headspace where I feel like I'm at home; I'm at peace and want to cuddle the monster under my bed.

However, some punk songs can hit deep or strong and live rent-free in my head, such as Anti-Flag's "Racist," Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl," and Skarpretter's "Nazi Scum."

One particular artist's voice I cannot get over because his is the first voice of any kind that makes me wanna fan myself is Peter Steele of Type O Negative. My favorite song, however, is "All Hallow's Eve" because his voice, the subject, and the lyrical content.

I'm able to hear something off in the oscillating fan my husband likes to use before he notices it.

I'm the one who can hear coyotes at night (doesn't help my mom wants to blast westerns to drown out the world and I'm back here in my room away from that shit though).

I can hear the branches scraping against the house, gently making creepy noises before I realize what the fuck it is, BUT NOBODY ELSE HEARS IT.

I can recognize the call of a robin because we had so many at the house I grew up in, and nobody else in this family fucking noticed.

I tend to notice the sound of the rain over all the house noise first.

I don't like tight clothing, which is why I prefer bralettes because my tits hurt.

If I could, I'd go without the bra because the band can sometimes suddenly feel tighter than it actually is, but because I have large nipples, I kinda need that bra for a bit of protection.

Shorts can be tight around the crotch, hip joins, and lower belly region, and that's a big no-no for me.

I'd prefer baggy pants, honestly.

Can't have tight footwear. No.

The seam at the top of socks or tights hurt my pinky toes if the whole sock/tights shift that way.

I already covered the hair snippet thing so since this is the sense of touch, another body hair thing is I kinda don't wanna shave my pits anymore because they are extremely itchy when they grow back. HAVE to shave my crotch because if I don't it gets horribly itchy, and my thick, fast-growing hair weaves into underwear, gets caught in pads, etc.

Ah yes. Pads. I hate them, but they're far more acceptable than a tampon or a cup because I have vaginismus.

Certain fabric textures are itchy as hell. There's a black shirt I have whose collar and cuffs are gorgeous but I have to wear something underneath to avoid feeling itchy.

Winter is hell for me here in the midwest, as I am very susceptible to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes. I become very slow, too. I feel like I can't get warm enough most of the time.

Air conditioned places in the summer feel almost similar, so I don't always wear shorts if I'm expected to go into, say, a Walmart with my husband to pick up everything. I'll shiver.

(We're gonna get into TMI territory here.) Can't masturbate by hand unless I've got a nitrile glove on because my brain only focuses on what my fingers are touching more than what my cunt feels.

Can't have any sex with my husband without anything brighter than low-light because things can be visually distracting in the room, or lights can suddenly feel way too bright to me. (Halloween string lights or those LED rope lights with adjustable brightness features and colors are excellent for this situation.)

In Conclusion

This is all that I've figured out so far. None of this hit me at once as a realization when I figured out that I'm Autistic. This took a while to realize it, and the realizations were mostly at random times through examples of other people experiencing it on the internet or through me going, "Huh, is that an Autistic trait?"

There may be even more that I'm currently unaware of or have forgotten to type here.

I apologize for how extremely lengthy this was. This took all day to type because of having to get up and do other things that needed to be done. One of the reasons why I really wanted to type this is because it's much easier to organize this on a computer, and I am absolutely shit at organizing files on my computer.

Unfortunately, while my husband is wonderful in supporting me, my parents aren't exactly all that great at it. Especially my dad, who is either vaguely dismissive or outright "forgets" that I'm Autistic (he honestly just... doesn't care, and tries to make things convenient for him at the expense of others most of the time). My mom... I'm not real sure. There are times where she seems to remember and others where she doesn't. I'm honestly wondering if they don't like knowing that I'm Autistic because that means my brother would have been as his traits were far more obvious than mine.

I hope that whoever is questioning whether or not they're Autistic has found this helpful at least in the sense that it would point you in the right direction on where to go next, but I would highly recommend checking out online Autistic communities, as that's where I've discovered that I'm on the spectrum.

#autism #asperger's #adhd #special interests #sensory traits #autistic traits #sorry for how long this is

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twistedlymad · 5 years ago

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Can you do a oneshot with reader and twst boys having a sleepover at the Ramshackle dorm playing games and stuff, then reader suggests they tell scary stories with her story being the scariest and she starts to scare the others like in those animes. Sorry it’s kinda hard to put it into details or you can just write a regular sleepover scenario. Can’t wait for you to write about this idea and I really enjoyed your story when reader turned into a cat. Good luck on writing more stories!!!!!!😁

I have never been to a sleepover before, so, this is kind of new to me! I had fun writing this! I could seriously see MC/Yuu doing this sort of thing!

Anyways! Thank you for the request! I hope the story is up to your standards! Also, thank you for liking my neko!Reader story! <3

And without further ado, on with the show!

What if you had a sleepover? (Ft. Ace, Deuce, Grim, Epel, Sebek and Jack) (Lilia is mentioned)

“Time’s up puppies! Please pass in your quizzes like the obedient puppies you all are. This is all for today, I will hand you back your tests next week.” Boomed a certain professor. One-by-one students were standing from their seats and placing down a test on the desk of the professor.

“This should be a trick… Ah, I see, there’s no way the equation for these two chemicals can be balanced. In fact, the answer should be Calcium Hydroxide.” You mumbled to yourself as you scribbled down the answer. You took one final look at your test, making sure everything was alright. There were a few questions that you didn’t know here and there, but you tried to answer them nevertheless. You nodded to yourself, satisfied with your answers and headed to the professor’s table. You placed down your paper and left the classroom.

“Man, that was tough! Who knew that they didn’t provide the list of plants to us!” Ace whined, standing outside the classroom with Deuce, Grim, Jack, Epel and Sebek.

“I didn’t know there were so many writing questions. I actually thought there were going to be a decent amount of multiple-choice ones!” Grim yelled.

“Because you would usually choose the longest answer for those instead of actually thinking about the answers, right?” Jack asked the furball.

“Fgnaaaa… I got caught….” The creature said as he sheepishly looked to the ground. You walked up towards the group.

“Hey guys.” You smiled.

“Ah, (Y/N), what took you so long?” Epel asked you.

“I needed to double-check my answers. Anyways, do you guys have any plans after this?” You said, grabbing Grim and he crawled to your shoulder and rested himself there.

“Nope! I don’t have any plans for today.” Said Ace.

“Yea, me neither.” You replied.

“Same here.” Deuce, Epel and Jack said together. Now, everyone’s eyes were on Sebek.

“I have to make sure Malleus-sama is alright. So, I do have something to do.” Sebek said, crossing his arms.

“In other words, you too have nothing to do.” Grim said from your shoulder.

“No! I do!” Sebek yelled back.

“Okay! Everyone except Sebek has nothing to do.” Deuce said, trying to calm the Diasomnia dorm member down.

“So, what do we do? Since tomorrow is a Saturday.” Jack asked.

“How about a sleepover then?” You suggested.

“Sure! But, where should we have the sleepover?” Epel said.

“What about our dorm? I mean, it’s only the two of us, if you don’t count the ghosts.” Grim said. The others nodded.

“Sounds fun!” Deuce agreed.

“I won’t be attending, as I said, I have to take care of Malleus-sama.” Sebek reminded.

“Alright, so it’s settled. We’ll have a sleepover at the Ramshackle Dorm tonight!” Ace said. You noticed Sebek was feeling a bit left out. So, you went to him and asked him.

“Sebek, are you sure you can’t come?” You asked him. “I mean, I’m sure Dorm Leader Malleus would understand.” Before Sebek could reply you, a new voice spoke up.

“Oh, he can go.” You jumped slightly. You and Sebek turned to see Lilia standing behind you two, smiling.

“I heard everything, don’t worry Sebek, I’ll tell Malleus that you have plans tonight.” The upperclassman said to his fellow dorm member. Sebek tried to protest though.

“B-but!”

“No buts, you are going to have that sleepover at Ramshackle Dorm and that’s final. Seriously, me and Silver can take care of Malleus too you know, plus, you need to spend more time with your friends.” Lilia said to him as he turned to you. “I’ll be leaving Sebek in your care (Y/N)~” You nodded to him.

“Yes, Lilia-senpai.” He smiled, and started to walk off.

“Well, I’ll be off now, have fun!” You waved to the upperclassman and turned to Sebek.

“Looks like you’re attending the sleepover after all!” You smiled to him and he blushed slightly.

“T-Then, I better go pack.” And with that, the Diasomnia dorm member headed off to his dorm.

“Ah! We should better go too! We have to ask permission from our dorm leaders and pack! See you tonight (Y/N)!” Epel said, waving to you as he, Ace and Deuce ran off to their respective dorms.

“Welp, that settles our boredom.” You said to Grim who was now on top of your head. “We should go back to prepare for them, right Grim?” You asked but there was no reply. You picked the creature from your head to see him sleeping peacefully. You shook your head and laughed softly. “Right, we should better be off then.” And the two of you headed back to your dorm.

While you were preparing, you were trying to come up with some activities for the night.

“We should play games. But, what games?” You said to yourself. You began to think about some of the games that you would normally play.

Uno? No. You were pretty sure you can’t even get a single round done with those cheaters, specifically Ace, Deuce and Epel. You also knew that Uno destroys friendship and you didn’t need to have magic flying all over the lobby so Uno was off the list.

Old Maid? Nope. You played with Ace, Deuce and Grim before and you clearly remember the face Grim would make if he got the Old Maid, which would result in him getting mad and annoyed. You did not want to put out any fires tonight either.

Blackjack? No, you didn’t want to gamble as you didn’t have extra madol to spend. Unless, you can manage to get the guys to agree to not gambling then the game would probably be played. So, you put this game on the possible list.

There were so many more games like Charades and Pillow Fights, you couldn’t really choose. However, after thinking awhile, you had an idea. You scribbled down your idea, noted down a few things you needed. Then, you grabbed what little madol you had, hoping it was enough, told Grim that you had to go supplies for tonight and left your dorm to go to Mr. S’s Mystery Shop. You walked into the shop, only to be greeted by Sam himself.

“Oh, why, if it isn’t (Y/N)!” The man greeted.

“Hi Sam! Can I buy a few things?” You asked, handing him the note of the needed supplies. Sam looked through it and was slightly taken aback.

“What a weird combination of stuff! But, I know what you’re trying to do.” He said, surprising you. You blinked a few times before asking him.

“How did you know?”

“My friends from the other side told me so.” He said as he prepared your stuff. “I think it’s a splendid idea for a sleepover. You should also try asking the ghosts for help, you know, to have that extra effect.” He then faced you with all the stuff you needed. You were shocked, like seriously! Why does this shop have everything?! You gave Sam the madol needed for everything and thanked him. You took his idea into consideration and decided to go back to your humble dorm.

Grim was still asleep when you reached back home, but the ghosts welcomed you back.

“Guys, I need your help in an event later.” You said to them, they looked at you, confused.

“What do you possibly need help with?” One of them asked.

“Well, I need you to…” And you explained your plan to the ghosts. The ghosts listened attentively and started to laugh.

“I never knew you were such a prankster (Y/N), heheheh~” One of the ghosts said to you.

“We think it’s a splendid idea. Right, we want to be amused too, so we’ll help you with this.” Another one said.

“Does Grim have to know?” The third ghost asked you and you thought about it.

“Nope, he will be one of the victims.” You said to them and they smiled.

“We can’t wait (Y/N), hehehehe~” And with that, the ghosts went off to prepare for the ‘event’. You started to set up the lounge for the sleepover, since it was almost time for them to arrive. You pushed the sofas to one side, clearing out the middle for your sleepover. However, you did set a large mirror that you bought from Mr. S’s Mystery Shop in front of the fireplace. You were excited too, not only were you going to have a fun time with your friends, you were also going to scare them and your plan to do so is incredibly detailed.

After an hour or two of prep work, you were finished. You even set up yours and Grim’s sleeping bags, usually Grim sleeps with you, so you only prepared one sleeping bag. You quickly changed into your pajamas and waited for the boys to arrive. You shook Grim awake and the furball just yawned and looked at you.

“What do you want (Y/N)?” He asked.

“It’s almost time for the sleepover, since you’ve slept that long, I figured you’d want something to eat before we start.” You said, holding up a tuna sandwich that you made to him and his eyes light up.

“Food?! Yay!! (Y/N), you’re the best!” The creature said and took the sandwich from your hands. You smiled and patted his head.

“Eat up, you’re going to need it.” You said to the furball. Not long after, knocks on your main entrance were heard.

“Oh, that must be them!” You said and told Grim to wait for you on your sleeping bag as you went to open the door. Once you did, there stood Ace, Deuce, Epel, Jack and Sebek.

“Hey guys! Come in!” You said as you stepped aside, letting them into your dorm.

“Wow (Y/N), you went all out.” Deuce commented as he saw the lounge. The boys began to put down their sleeping bags in a circle. They began to chat as you excused yourself to go grab some snacks. As you arrive in the kitchen, one of the ghosts was there waiting for you. You tied an invisible string to your ankle and gave the roll of string to the ghost. You winked to him, grabbed the snacks and went back to the lounge. The ghost just snickered and continue to wait in the kitchen.

The sleepover started off nicely! You guys played some Blackjack, Charades and even one or two rounds of Old Maid. Thankfully, Grim didn’t set the entire dorm on fire like he did last time, the creature even focused on perfecting his poker face. But, it wasn’t enough because every time he got the Old Maid, you could still see him frown a little.

It was about midnight, when you guys finished your last round of Old Maid.

“So, what do we do now?” Ace asked.

“We’ve done almost everything a sleepover would do, maybe it’s actually time we went to sleep?” Jack replied.

“No, there’s one more thing that we haven’t done yet.” You said, standing up to turn off the lights. “We haven’t told ghost stories yet.” The boys froze.

“G-Ghost stories?” Grim asked, trembling slightly. You grabbed a candle and lighted it, and sat in front of the mirror. You guys were in a circle so no one really cared about the mirror.

“Yes, ghost stories. I’d love to hear what you guys know about ghosts! After all, I’m not from here, so, spook me!” You said to the boys, smiling. They were shocked. Why were you so cheerful with telling ghost stories?

“A-Ah…. I don’t think I know any… How about you guys?” Deuce asked. Ace, Epel, Jack and Sebek all shook their heads no. You pouted slightly.

“No childhood fears? No urban legends? Wow.” Honestly, you were quite surprised. These guys didn’t know anything about ghost stories or urban legends? Well, this fit in quite nicely to your plan, so you decided to launch phase 1 of your plan.

“Well, since you didn’t know any stories, I’ll tell you one!” Now, their attention was fully on you. You smirked slightly and continued. “There is a ghost that has been haunting humans ever since I was a child. We called her, Bloody Mary.” As you told the tale of Mary, the ghost was slowly sneaking his way to the mirror, you noticed this and nodded slightly to him. After awhile, you began to tell them how the ritual of summoning her is done. Some of the boys were trembling slightly, but all of them were listening very attentively.

“Now, they say, if you say her name three times in front of a mirror, whilst holding a candle, Bloody Mary herself will appear! And she’ll either drag you back into the mirror or drag you away to return to her dwellings with her. And that’s the urban legend we call Bloody Mary.” You said and looked at the boys.

They were scared! Visible fear on their faces! Grim was hugging you very tightly, Ace and Deuce were hugging each other, Jack, Sebek and Epel were holding a blanket over their heads or just holding the blanket very tightly. You smiled and laughed a little. They looked at you as if you were crazy.

“You know, when I was a child until now, she never appeared. I’ve always thought of her as a joke, I never knew you guys would take me so seriously! Hahahaha!” You laughed out loud, the boys all had an ‘irk’ mark on their heads.

“Aha.. It’s okay you babies, I’ll go get the lights.” You said and went to flick the lights on, however, there wasn’t any response. You tried again and again but to no avail.

“I-I’m sure it’s just because of your lousy dormitory.” Ace said, looking at you trying with the lights.

“Hmm, I’ll have to ask the principal for help tomorrow, oh well.” You shrugged. When you were about to sit down, your candle had been blown out.

“W-What’s going on? I thought you closed all the windows!” Sebek said to you.

“I did! There shouldn’t be any wind! Ace! Was this your doing?” You asked your friend.

“N-No! I didn’t even bring my magical pen! Neither of us did!” He said back to you.

“Then, how did the candle go out?” As soon as you asked though, the mirror started to shake. The boys noticed this and ran to the corners of the lounge. You were right in front of the mirror now. It was only then, Jack figured it out.

“(Y-Y/N)…. You sat in front of that mirror right?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“You were holding the candle right?”

“Yes.”

“How many times did you say Bloody Mary’s name?” You took a while to think.

“I’ve said it three tim- oh.” As those words left your mouth, you fell down. The boys yelled for you.

“G-Guys! I think something is pulling my le-AAHHHHHHHH!!” And you were pulled to the kitchen. The boys froze. A few seconds later, 6 screams and shouts of your name were heard.

In the kitchen, you quickly untied the invisible string and nodded to the ghosts who were snickering.

“Now, onto phase 2.” You said and dressed yourself in an old and torn apart dress. Don’t worry, you still had your pajamas underneath. You wore a black, long-haired wig and had tomato sauce dripping all over your body. You definitely looked like a ghost with all the getup and thanks to the dark atmosphere, you looked terrifying. You then held up a fake broken mirror shard. You slowly walked back to the lounge.

“W-What do we do?! We don’t know where (Y/N) went! For all we know, she might be taken away by that ghost!” Deuce said to his friends.

“We should go find headmaster! He’ll know what to do!” Sebek said and the rest nodded. And that’s when you decided to take a few steps into the lounge. The boys looked at you, frozen in their place.

“Who…. Summoned…..“ You started, and took a few steps closer to them. You then raised your fake mirror shard and looked at them in the eye.

“MEEEE?!”

They boys screamed and ran from you and up to the second floor. You watched them flee and smiled to yourself. The boys were breathless once they reached the second floor.

“I think we lost her.” Said Epel, exhausted. But then, a crash was heard.

They boys turned to see a mirror had been broken at the end of the hallway. Suddenly, another mirror was broken, next to the first and closing in to the boys. Then a third, fourth and fifth. They boys screamed again and ran back downstairs. However, they saw you coming up the stairs and something was also coming down the stairs from the second floor. They were cornered.

“Now….. KNOW MY WRATH!!!!” And you rushed to them. They screamed and braced for impact. But… Nothing happened? They were confused, they should’ve died a moment ago, right? Slowly, they opened their eyes to see you taking off your wig.

“Boo.” And you laughed like there’s not tomorrow. 5 boys, and one creature, stared at you in shock. They couldn’t believe it. (Y/N), the student who was always trying to not cause any trouble and fixing their messes, would be striking fear into her friends one day. And that day was today.

“(Y-Y/N)?! That was all you?!” Deuce asked you. You smiled and nodded.

“Yep, I also had help from the ghosts.” You said and the ghosts made themselves visible to the group.

“Hahahaha! (Y/N)’s plan worked!!” The ghosts said to you. The boys just stared at you and the ghosts and slowly slumped down onto the floor. They felt tired and just want to go to sleep.

So, the 7 of you head back to the lounge, with the boys mumbling something about not messing with you and whatnot. You took off your dress, got yourself clean and wiggled into your sleeping bag, Grim doing the same but he snuggled into your arms. The boys got into their respective sleeping bags and wished you goodnight. You wished them as well and you all drifted off into dreamland, where hopefully, no bloody figures in mirrors will appear.

Let’s just say, from that night on, the boys can’t look at mirrors the same ever again. Was it worth scaring the boys? Absolutely, positively, 100% yes.

It took you months to explain and reassure them that the legend wasn’t actually real. Well, at least in Twisted Wonderland, it wasn’t real, right?

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fic #twisted wonderland x reader #ace trappola #deuce spade #grim #epel felmier #jack howl #sebek zigvolt #mc/yuu #disney twst #twst wonderland #lilia vanrouge #twisted wonderland imagines

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charlotte-lavender · 4 years ago

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Spring Blossoms, as does Love (pt. 5)

📷

Summary: Y/N and Kuroo share their first night together in what is now both of their home. In the morning, Y/N faces some anxiety about meeting Kuroo's volleyball team, whom he considers his friends.

A/N: Hey y'all! I hope you missed me, but I'm back!!! I was going to publish chapters five and six tonight, but decided against that, because it's almost three a.m. as I am writing this. (Sleep? We don't know her.) Also, let me know who you would like included on the team! I will write anyone in as a supporting character, just make sure that they have enough screentime to base some characterisation off of. Should I do MSBY? or Karasuno? Aoba Johsai? Let me know! Also, I know that this author's note is already long, but I just wanted to mention again briefly that I am writing for new fandoms! I will be adding a list to my pinned post, so go check it out, and if you have a request, please submit! Finally, remember I use British English, start in Y/N's POV, and stay safe! Love y'all!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

pro·ver·bi·al /prəˈvərbēəl/ 📷Learn to pronounce

adjective (of a word or phrase) referred to in idiom or expression. "I'm going to stick out like the proverbial sore thumb"

Coming home to Kuroo was a new experience. When I get home, I'm covered in dirt and sweat, and I usually jump right into the shower before putting on sweatpants and making dinner. Today, however, was different for obvious reasons. "I'm home!" I announce to the house as I enter. Dropping all of my stuff on the floor, I turn and see Kuroo looking at me from the counter, his laptop open and papers strewn about beside him. "Hi, Kuroo. How was your day?"

"Just fine. I got all of my stuff in, the important things at least. How about you?"

"That client of mine is really nice, but they have lots of property. It always takes me forever to get to everything."

"Aww, I'm sorry. I got takeout if you would like it. It's in the fridge."

"Thanks babe, I appreciate it."

Kuroo gives me a quick hug before releasing me to go eat.

**POV SWITCH**

After Y/N was done eating, he moved to the couch, and I went and curled him up next to me. "Tell me about your day." I ask him before realising that he was moving to get up.

"Sorry, babe, I really need to shower. It's almost seven, and you have work tomorrow, right?" He says, getting up and stretching his arms over his head, exposing his lower stomach for a quick second.

"Yeah, I do. But I want to make sure you're comfortable. It'll be a long day with the team tomorrow."

"Well, how about you take a shower with me? No funny business, though. I'm too tired."

"Okay, I'll be up in five. Just gonna save my document and get my paperwork put away."

He walks away up the stairs, and I hear the tap turn on. I feel my face begin to flush scarlet. He wants to shower with me? Since when is he that suave? Usually, he's a dork, but...

Realising that I've taken too long, I close my laptop and head upstairs. Opening the door to the bathroom, I see his clothes on the floor and his silhouette behind the shower curtain. I slowly strip and pull away the curtain, and he turns to look at me. Stepping into the shower, he wordlessly motions for me to turn around and get my head wet. He then reaches for the bottle of shampoo, squirts some on his hands, and begins to massage it into my hair.

**POV SWITCH**

After the shower, curled up on our bed, I finally feel calm. Wow. Our bed. That feels really weird to say. "Kuroo, babe," I whisper out to the dim room.

"Yeah?"

"I-," I take a deep breath. "I love you..." Realising the gravity of what I had just said, I snap my hands up to cover my mouth. Kuroo, having seen the whole scene, wordlessly reaches down and takes ahold of my wrist. Tugging on it gently, he eventually forces it to part company with my lips, instantly replacing it with his. Grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to his side, I melt deeper into his kiss. After what felt like a blissful eternity, Kuroo pulls away and whispers, "I love you too, cutie. Now get some rest. I want you to come meet some people tomorrow."

The following day comes a lot sooner than expected. My eyes flutter open to Kuroo's shining smile. "What time is it?" I ask him.

"Six o'clock. Now, get up, I have coffee."

"Yay!" I mumble, somehow managing to sound both annoyed and excited.

"So, Y/N, today I thought that I'd introduce you to the team." I sputter into my coffee, but Kuroo keeps talking. "Me and the guys that I coach, we aren't that different in age, so we get along quite well. It'll be more like meeting a bunch of my friends than some random group of college kids."

Hearing that, I sigh in relief but then begin to hyper-focus on something. Friends. They're Kuroo's friends. Oh no. Insecurities and past experiences begin to overwhelm me as Kuroo pulls me up and nudges me in the direction of the bathroom, promises of breakfast vaguely heard over the roar of thoughts in my head. I can't help but feel as though I'm stuck in a current and just along for the ride.

**POV SWITCH**

Packing lunch into small containers for our busy day is what I'm doing when Y/N stumbles into the kitchen. His hair, while dried, is a rat's nest, and he only has on one sock. Knowing where this is going, I pause and walk over to him. He freezes but lets me hug him. As I bury my head in his hair and smell his shampoo, I ask, "What's all this about?"

"Wh-what are you talking about, babe? I'm excellent." Y/N says unconvincingly.

"Come on, Y/N. You only ever get this frantic when you're anxious about something. You know you can talk to me, right? Is it about meeting the team?" I see him freeze, and I know that I've hit the proverbial* nail right on the head. "What about today is making you anxious?"

"I'm worried that if I don't make a good impression, they'll all convince you to dump me because they don't think I'm worthy of you, or something like that."

"Y/N, babe, I've told you once, and I'll say to you as many times as you need to hear it, I don't care what anyone says about our relationship. I will never, ever leave you. Besides, knowing them, they'll worship you like a god and wonder how you ended up with a guy like me."

"Thank you, Kuroo. I love you so, so much, okay? I can't wait to get a better view of your life."

Hearing that, I gave Y/N a quick peck on the cheek and ducked back behind the counter, placing our lunch in a bag while he finished getting ready.

**POV SWITCH**

Kuroo is a surprisingly good cook. That's what I'm thinking about, the remnants of breakfast churning happily in my stomach while he rolls down the road towards the city. I don't like the city. I don't go to the city. Somehow, though, this all feels okay.

#haikyuu x male reader #haikyu x reader #hq kuroo #hq x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x male reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo x

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ieatmypizzawithaforkandknife · 4 years ago

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MAG 022 - Colony

Summary: Martin Blackwood dictates his statement regarding “a close encounter with something I believe to have once been Jane Prentiss.”

So can we all agree that Martin is the most adorable person ever and needs to be protected at all costs? Because within the first minute of this episode he was firmly placed in the Smol Bean category of my brain, and there he shall forever be. I am quite certain I will end up crying about this man at some point.

I’m really glad I listened to this episode again after finishing the season, because even in the short time between this episode and the season finale, so much of my opinions on Jonathan himself and on the relationship between Jonathan and Martin have changed. I know, this episode was about Martin - but it was also the first time we actually got to see these two characters interact, as opposed to Jonathan just making offhand comments about Martin’s supposedly subpar work. (Poor Martin. Mean Jonathan.)

I love how Martin says, “I just want to make a statement about what happened to me. I mean...it’s what we do!” and Jonathan’s immediate reply is, “No, what we do is research statements - usually those made by liars and the mentally unwell.” His tone holds its usual amount of derision, but after listening to the last few episodes of S1, I can’t find it in myself to hold it against him anymore. (I never claimed to be good at reading people.) Towards the end of the episode, Jonathan tells Martin he can sleep in the Archive, basically doing what I think was the Jonathan version of reassuring him, by telling him how safe it is. His tone isn’t reassuring - it’s very factual, as he lists off all the different ways the Institute is a safe place and by telling Martin he’ll ask Elias about adding some extra security. But if Jonathan were just trying to get Martin to sleep there so he wouldn’t lose a research assistant, he probably could’ve just told Martin to stay there and Martin would’ve listened. He seems to care about Martin in a way that isn’t shown in his offhand remarks in previous episodes. And while there’s a slight admonishment when he says, “No, what we do is research statements”, it smacks more of a concerned admonishment than an angry one to me. Conclusion: Jonathan is, as always, terrible with people, but not because he doesn’t care.

I’m also wondering how much of the “No, what we do is research statements” line was Jonathan and how much was Elias. It reminded me of what Jonathan said when he was contemplating bringing up the Leitner situation to Elias in episode 17: “I know he’ll just give me the old “record and study, not interfere or contain” speech again”. In particular, the word “again” indicates it’s something they’ve butted heads on before. It’s interesting that in this episode Jonathan seems to take Elias’ position on the issue. It could be that he’s just trying to be responsible in a general sense and that he doesn’t want to be liable if anything happens to Martin. But, taken with what I said in the previous paragraph, it could also be read as “I’d like to discourage this man from further endangering himself in the future because I care about him and I cannot/do not know how to express this directly, so I will hide behind what my own boss has told me many times.”

On the subject of Martin himself - I don’t think I can properly express how much I already love this adorable, nervous man. There were just so many great lines from him in this episode, whether for characterization or for humor - and often it was both. The long beat of silence after “Well, I need to tell someone what happened, and you can vouch for the soundness of my mind, can’t you?” Also: “Look, I know you hate the word, but it was really…spooky.” And “I was heading home when I got to thinking, and…I was worried I hadn’t really done enough investigation for you”. And “I’ve catalogued and looked into enough of these cases to know that following the noise is always a really, really bad idea, but…I mean…it’s my job, isn’t it?” And finally, at the very end when Jonathan offers him a place to stay at the Archive, he’s so flustered, both at the offer and at the very idea that Jonathan believes him. He’s basically tripping over himself and cringing as he gives his own statement, so hung up on the idea that he won’t be believed or that this isn’t enough.

And who can blame him? If you really think about what happened to him...I can’t blame him for thinking he wouldn’t be believed or that no one would be concerned for his safety. From his perspective, he just spent thirteen days alone in his apartment with no electricity, no company, no way to communicate with the outside world - and, to his knowledge, not a single person checked up on him! Obviously that was a good thing, because if someone had come to his door, they would have been met with Jane Prentiss - but Martin went for almost two weeks without a single good night’s sleep, eating ready meals and canned food, being constantly startled by her knocking, and he had to have wondered, at least once, why no one even wondered where he was.

One key to Martin’s survival was that he had plenty of water: “Luckily there was no problem with my water supply, so I had plenty to drink. I’m just glad none of them thought to come up through the pipes.” I genuinely can’t tell if Jonny’s hanging a lampshade on the issue or if we’re supposed to wonder why the worms never came up through the pipes, but in any case I am wondering it. Another key to his survival is that, despite not having a peephole, Martin somehow knew when she’d gone - and he wasn’t entirely sure how he knew. He surmises that the musty smell surrounding her must have been gone, and he didn’t hear any knocking for a little while, but in the end he has to confirm her absence by simply opening his door - which, if he were wrong, would have led to certain death - or, as he says at one point, “worse”.

Another mystery to me is when Martin goes into the basement of the building on Boothby Rd the first time and this happens: “I didn’t like the way my shadow moved. The light from the window behind me cast it pretty clearly on the floor, and looking at it I swear the edges seemed to move…it’s was like a, like an undulation…like, like they were being shifted by something.” He doesn’t follow this up with “and then I noticed my ‘shadow’ was actually worms on the floor”, so this doesn’t seem like a Jane Prentiss thing to me, or a Carlos Vittery’s spider thing either. And if it isn’t associated with either of the two known Boothby Rd-related entities, then it was something else entirely, which has me worried. But that’s the only mention of anything like a shadow being “shifted” in this episode, so for now I’m hoping I’m just reading too much into things.

There were so many excellent visual descriptions in this episode, so kudos to Jonny as always, and in this case kudos also to Alex for the performance. Martin describes the Jane Prentiss worms as “maybe an inch long, with a silver segmented body that goes black at one end, almost like it’s been burned.” This could just be a general creepy description, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point out the “burning” imagery here, given all the times fire and burning have come up before, even though I’m not sure what specifically it might be connected to from previous episodes. More concrete, though, is the difference between Jane Prentiss’ clothing when Martin encounters her and what she was wearing in her first appearance in episode 6. Harriett Lee, her victim in that episode, told Timothy Hodge, the man who gave the statement, that she found Prentiss wearing a long red dress. By contrast, Martin finds her in the basement wearing “a threadbare grey overcoat, though beneath it her legs were bare” (so, she’s no longer wearing the long red dress) and holding “a stained green handkerchief.” The events of episode 6 occurred in late November 2014 - almost a year and a half before Martin’s encounter with her. So why was she still in that area after all that time? We know she isn’t physically unable to leave - she follows Martin all the way to his home in Stockwell. And where did she get the overcoat and the handkerchief? I’m assuming it came from another victim, though she could have stolen them I guess. As far as we know they never did follow up with Timothy Hodge, despite Jonathan noting in that episode that they probably should. Jonathan also hasn’t mentioned looking into missing persons reports from the area either, even though that seems to me like an obvious thing to investigate.

Speaking of investigating...my ears perked up when the owner of the building told Martin that Carlos’ cat now lives with the Sanderson couple in apartment 2. I immediately flashed back to episode 15 and Laura Popham’s missing (presumably dead) sister, Elena Sanderson. (I remembered the name because of the Sanderson sisters, of course. #90schild) I don’t think it’s an actual connection, though, for two reasons: First, it doesn’t fit the timeline. Elena went missing in June 2014, and this Sanderson couple apparently still lives in this building in early 2016. It could be a relative, or maybe she magically reappeared, but I don’t see any specific reason to think either of those things. Second, there are something like 20,000 people with that surname living in England (yay genealogy websites). If it were a less common name, I’d be more suspicious, but as it stands now I’m keeping it in mind but leaning towards it being a coincidence.

Some final thoughts on Jane Prentiss. She apparently “called herself to be a practicing witch and believed [herself] to be infected by a dangerous, unknown parasite.” This is the first time the word “witch” is mentioned in the show (unless you’re counting Julia Montauk going to see The Witches in episode 9 lol), but not the first time we have seen something, or someone, witch-like. There are almost too many examples of things that could be considered “magic” to list, but the ones that stand out to me the most as potentially witch-like are: Mary Key being alive and the bones falling out of the books in episode 4; Agnes Montague/Fielding/whatever her name is and her apparent agelessness in episode 8; Robert Montauk’s heart ritual in the shed in episode 11; the unnamed man’s chanting in the hospital in episode 12; and Angela in episode 14. I’m not sure how any of these might be connected, but now that the word’s been mentioned I’m considering it a possibility.

And lastly...“Keep him. We have had our fun. He will want to see it when the archivist’s crimson fate arrives.” Jonathan’s voice when he read that last part, man. Martin asks what it means, and he sounds genuine, but Jonathan...I think Jonathan was thinking the same thing I am: that “the archivist’s crimson fate” sounds an awful lot like the description of Gertrude Robinson’s death as foretold in the dream from episode 11, particularly in the description of the Institute: “It was this building into which all the veins flowed: every door, every window was solid with them. When the bursts of red light passed into it, the whole building glowed crimson.”

This post is part of a series where I write my thoughts about each episode and obsessively connect dots in an effort to figure out The Big Mysteries of the series. All posts in this series are tagged “is this liveblogging?” Comments and messages are welcome but I have only listened to season 1, so I ask that you not spoil me for anything beyond episode 40. In the words of Jonny Sims…thanks for listening!

Minor spoilers for a later episode in S1 after the cut.

Just have to take a moment to freak out about the fact that I completely forgot about Martin’s description of Jane Prentiss’ skin as “full of holes - deep, black holes just honeycombing every bit of flesh like a…wasps’ nest.” HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT HE USED THE EXACT SAME WORDS SHE DID IN HER STATEMENT. Like, I don’t know if it’s significant, or if the description just fit so well that Jonny wanted to reuse it, but...damn.

#personal #liveblogging #is this liveblogging?#The Magnus Archives #how do I always end up writing BOOKS #I thought this one was gonna be shorter too #also I'm officially switching over to Gerard instead of Jared even though I still don't think that's what it sounds like at all #it bugs me

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jae-canikeepyou · 5 years ago

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| serenity in us | j.jh | ch. one

word count: 2.9k+ ( putting this now yay :3 )

a/n: hey hi hello~ i’m back with another series! i was gonna wait until my semester’s done but my patience’s killing me and i don’t wanna keep you all waiting so here you go! ♡ enjoy! ~j

“serenity is found somewhere between the sky and the sand.” you read the font words on the minimalist frame. it was a quote you heard in an ongoing, constant dream that you thought was needed to be drawn and remembered. in it, the quote was a voice as if a narrator spoke those words to begin something new. the scenery you ask? every place was different but there was always a horizon. the dream was vague and raised a lot of question marks in your mind the moment you wake up.

you hung the item on the wall, marking the end of unpacking your things since moving in days ago. the mess was finally cleared out and the boxes were emptied and folded briefly, lined on one side of the wall. you slouched low in exhaustion, sliding your home slippers across the white marbled floor. it was squeaking even, that only explained how much of a neat freak you were. a new apartment, simple furniture and man oh man, you have an automatic vacuum with a sensor that you didn’t have to worry about the dirt at the annoying, impossible corners.

independence was something you were blessed with despite being an orphan as early as two. uncle caleb; a friend of your father’s and aunt jenn; your mother’s half-sister, gladly took you in as their own.

honestly the mention of your beloved felt like they were still alive and just working abroad, because they were always reminded and talked about from your uncle and aunt. you had a striking resemblance with your mother, but the ways were your father’s. ‘a perfect combination of the two’, was how they described the child they never wanted to leave behind.

the door bell rang and the small screen showed your childhood— and best friend, eunha. she waved at the super tiny camera and had some flowers and bento boxes with her, all packed and nicely decorated. you pressed the button for her to enter. whilst you waited, you played an hour long track list of soothing, chill, instrumental songs to make the apartment a little noisy. one thing’s for sure, silent cleaning was not a good habit since you tend to procrastinate, oops.

eunha greeted you a hug so tight, placing down the things she brought with her. “y/n! i’m so glad we’re living so close to each other!” she hugged you and fanned herself as if that would stop her eyes from welling. “how’s everything with you? you should’ve called me honey! you know i’ll be coming straight away to help! i have a hotline like the powerpuff girls has.” she winked.

“i’m great! i crossed out the things i completed and now free from the stress. i’m ready for the new semester.” you gestured her to sit, inviting her for the meal you prepared. “well i am the bubbles to your blossom~ but it’s really okay! i managed and here we are talking freely without stressing over things.”

her hands held yours and swung them with excitement. “after we eat, do you want me to bring you around town? there’s a vinyl record store i think you’ll like.” her voice beaming as she singsonged, chewing on the pancake with whipped cream and blueberries.

“it’s still 9 a.m. we have loads of time in the world.” you showed your watch.

the leaves began to fall and you twirled around the sidewalk’s lamppost. eunha took pictures of you, happiness written on your face. you both entered the said shop. records displayed and hung on the wall, posters of legendary artists and worldwide singers encouraging customers to come in.

your hands trailed along the shelf that had new and limited turntables. as much as you were itching to pull out your wallet, there were other important things you needed to worry about and independence meant discipline too. your fingers curled and hesitated, just inches left before you could touch the surface of the one thing you’ve always wanted to purchase.

eunha giggled at your whiney, surrendered self. your back turning away from the product and walking towards her. “y/n.” she called your name, but this certain tone was serious and was more of a reminder.

“i know.” you smiled as you wiggled your phone with the ever precious wallpaper of yours.

“oh! your aunt’s calling you.” she hopped and pointed at the device, making you sliding fingers on the screen a second later. she gestured that she’d head out and wait for you.

“hi aunt jenn.” you greeted on the phone, only to extend your arm slightly at the baby’s cry on the other line. “aw he’s crying again?”

“yes y/n. i’ll be heading to work soon. can you come here?” she chuckled, though it was obvious she had the baby in her arms.

you exited the store and pulled eunha, crossing the pedestrian. “alright, i’ll be on my way.”

the office was dead silent and not one soul dared to speak. three figures stood in front of the angered woman; their continuous fiddles of the fingers and tapping of the toes became faster as they tried to come up with a reason to tell. just one. only the ticking of the clock on the table was heard. it was getting harder and harder to breathe even in a hundred square meter room.

“where is he?!” she yelled. the three flinched and were taken aback, hands either behind them or wrapped around an arm. the door then flung opened, revealing the said guy.

“young man, how can you be so inconsiderate?!” the woman asked again, this time it was in an annoying range of decibel that the listeners had to endure the volume.

jaehyun brushed past the ‘meeting’ and sat in one of the leather chairs. his legs rested on the centered table, obviously not bothering to listen. “so, being a minute late concludes my actions in general?” he chuckled bitterly, spinning the chair around before standing up again.

“i couldn’t care less,” he now glared at the woman. “about this damn meeting. what is it for, anyway?! wasting my time!”

he left the room and the woman rubbed her temples, swinging her palms to tell the rest of the three to follow the young man. “jaehyun.” yunho called his brother, reaching a hand out to grab him, successfully turning the lad around.

“what?” jaehyun snapped, removing the grip onto his body.

krystal rolled her eyes, the pungent smell entering her nostrils. “you reek, jae.”

“you went drinking again, didn’t you? i could smell the moment you came into the office.” yunho asked, pressing the button of the lift to head down.

“when will you learn, honestly?” jessica fixed her bag on her arm. “grow up.”

jaehyun clapped his hands, applauding the expected words that woman instructed his siblings to do. “me? learn? i already did. i just won’t follow orders from that silver digger.”

“gold*.” they corrected him.

“see you’re still drunk.” krystal meddled with her new manicure, earning a nudge from jessica.

“whatever, noona. you get my point either way.” jaehyun fished out his car keys to toss them up high, whistling his heart out at his favourite tune.

they exited the building and got on the car. he dropped off his sisters at the blanc and eclare flagship headquarters, then drove to a nearby restaurant for lunch with yunho. they entered the place and went to the reserved table. jaehyun sat and loosened the buttons of his polo, removing the neck tie and sat back.

yunho stared at his carefree little brother, he put the menu down so he could maybe give him a little serious talk. he understood why jaehyun acted the way he did earlier. even he himself could do the same but given the circumstances of his standing in the family, of course he’d be the mature one. he was the first child anyway.

“got anything you want?” yunho asked, removing his sunglasses then placing them in its case. “i’ll pay.”

“nah, let me pay for my own meal, hyung.” he flashed a small smile. “i got my pay check.”

“so you still do have a heart.” yunho jokingly stated the overseen fact.

“c’mon you’re smarter than that doctor jung.” jaehyun said the occupation title in a childlike tone. “you should know why i’m filled with hatred towards the woman.”

“hatred is such a strong word, offensive even. but seriously jae, how long are you going to keep up with this behavior? the next thing you know it, you’re out of the penthouse.”

yunho raised his hands to order. the young lad didn’t dare to answer and he sighed at the usual unresponsive manner whenever they hit this certain topic. “look i know for the longest time she treated us like how captain george von trapp did to his kids. i get it. you hated how she uses out-of-the-world discipline and i totally understand that-”

jaehyun scoffed, disbelief clearly written on his face. “i was six when she entered our lives. a kid that age couldn’t handle being shoved around just because he thought there was no difference between boxers and pajama shorts. the sound of music is cool reference by the way.”

“you did have confused mind back then. and what else can i compare it with? she probably took the idea from there.” yunho laughed as he handed the utensils and handkerchief. “but still though, i suggest you man up and act like you do with dad. just be yourself.”

“easier said than done.” jaehyun began slicing his steak and popping one bit into his mouth.

“what makes you so stone cold towards her anyway?” he asked, fixing the handkerchief by his lap.

“simple.” jaehyun stated the obvious even if he knew that yunho knew the answer.

“she’s not mom.”

eunha brought you to the restaurant that opened not long ago. the interior was eye-catching yet even with its simplicity, it was able to attract customers from outside. the smell of dishes that were yet to be served was luring and probably the reason why eunha chose the place. the waiters led you to the a table and soon came back with a baby chair. you placed the little un in it and he smiled with pearls trying to peek out.

you fixed the bib around him and booped his nose. gurgles of his hoarse laughs made everyone at your area turn to him. “ooh you sure are the spotlight stealer, aren’t you? these people are already taking a picture of you.”

“gosh he has the cutest smile.” eunha melted at the sight of him grabbing the tissue. “looky here!” she aimed her camera at him. “y/n, what’re you getting?”

you pondered for a while before your eyes landed at the name your stomach was craving for the past week. moving apartments had a toll on you— that resulted in you unable to cook your favourite meal. up until this morning were you finally found the time to do that. hence the breakfast eunha devoured within seconds.

“i’m getting fish & chips, and the classic steak.” your stomach growled at the picture beside it.

“alright, i guess i’m getting the same as yours.” eunha raised her hand.

the waiter came to your table to kindly ask for your orders. when you did so and thanked the man, a wallet fell from your right side. picking it up to give it to the owner, a large hand lightly touched yours and you looked up to see two men smiling softly.

“thank you.” the man in a suit said, taking the wallet from you.

“you’re welcome.” you answered. the man looked awfully familiar, as if he was on every commercial the screen had offered to show.

you and eunha shared a look. the telepathic words exchanged between the both of you had your eyes agreeing with what you saw, confirming his identity.

“he’s that celebrity doctor.” eunha mouthed. “dr. jung yunho, a paediatrician.”

“he seems a happy child. how old is he if i may ask?” he waved at him.

“this little guy here, just turned one few days ago.” you said, wiping off the drool with the bib.

“oh precious. belated happy birthday buddy.” he greeted.

you turned to the little one and carried him in your arms, waving his hands to thank the man. as you continued have your lunch and taking turns in feeding him and yourself, you noticed some movement where other children would approach the child on your lap. they would pinch his cheeks lightly and made faces they thought would make him laugh.

then the two men beside you stood. but before they left, yunho took a something out of his pockets and handed it to you.

it was a business card of his own practice office with an address and contact information. “if there’s anything you need help with, just give me a call and this guy-” he pointed at jaehyun and pat his back. “-will pick you and birthday boy up and head to my office.”

“hyung!” jaehyun gasped loudly, later covering his hands at the volume of his complaint. “sorry, i don’t mean it in a negative way.” he smiled awkwardly at you.

“no worries.” you gave him a sincere smile and he swore he felt like the world slowed down. everything else blurred where the only focus was you; how your hair length waved below your shoulders and your eyes sparkled with the sun’s reflection.

this young fine man though, whom you thought wasn’t paying attention or interest to, was now staring at you like he had a thousands of questions to ask to fill in his curiosity. “see you around.” yunho bid you goodbye, and the other trailed from behind.

eunha poked your shoulder with an intention of a tease. she grinned and you knew where she would go from there. “i know what you’re gonna say.” you rolled your eyes, yet a faint smile was evident in your lips.

“really?” her tone was very challenging. “i’ll test you. go ahead.”

“‘dr. jung yunho is so handsome! he’s so dreamy in real life! i should’ve asked for his photograph and boast it to my friends!’ yeah, i guess it’s somewhere along those lines.” you mimicked her voice and expression, not to mention gestures as well, especially the hands.

“yah i don’t act like that!” she defended, but there wasn’t any denial as she said that. “well, maybe. you’re not wrong though.”

“hmpf. and here you went ‘test me’.” you giggled, giving another piece of fish fillet to the one-year old. “and for the record, i’m always right whenever i’m proving you wrong.”

“fine you win.” she sipped her juice from a straw. “oh! hey, the guy he’s with is also handsome.”

you nodded in agreement at the obvious fact, although he did have tiny temperment. but that was only due to dr. yunho’s sudden suggestion. “he looked young. maybe his younger brother perhaps?” you wondered.

“hm. i haven’t seen him before. not on screen at least.” eunha chewed on her food. you raised a brow since you have no idea what she was talking about. “that doctor we conversed with, is from a family of good looking people. he has two younger sisters; jessica and krystal jung. the older one is the founder and endorser of blanc and eclare, while the younger one is an nationwide actress.”

“wow.” your eyes grew at the far/fetched level of these people. “sounds like an ideal family out of a manhwa.”

“egg-xactly.” she pointed at you with a hard boiled egg by her fork.

“that guy called him ‘hyung’ though. looked like to me they know each other. plus they have resemblance too.” you wiped your lips clean from the possible stain.

“oh dear ms. y/n.” eunha called you, her palms touching her chest as if she was surprised. “you have the hots for guys like him, which was why you-”

“ah-ah.” you glared at her, making her shush and zipping the imagination by her lips. “don’t talk about that.”

“bummer, i wasn’t even gonna.” eunha pouted but held your hand anyway. “i’ll always be here for you, y/n.”

“thank you.” you gave her a warm smile.

jaehyun waited by the entrance while his brother paid their meal. although he was bummed out that he wasn’t able to pay for his, he was somehow relieved. because once that cash was out of his pockets, he’d be broke the next time he goes to drink again.

at the corners of his eyes, he could still see you and your friend, as well as the adorable child seated on your lap. you were giving him a spoonfuls for airplane feeding.

yunho gestured jaehyun that they were leaving the restaurant. “hyung, why did you say that i’d pick her up?” he asked as he took a quick glance at you.

“c’mon i’m just playing around.” he nudged jaehyun.

“by matchmaking me to some random girl?” he scoffed. “you sure got a lot of time in your hands.”

“don’t take it too seriously jae.” yunho went ahead, leaving his brother flabbergasted.

he then shrugged it off and looked at you before stepping out. his ears perked up at the three second long conversation exchanged between you and the child.

“jaewon, look! mommy’s got an airplane~”

jaehyun stopped in his tracks by the entrance. his head quickly turning to you again. your lips mouthed the one word that shock hit his entire body. you weren’t just some random girl,

you were the mother of that child.

#serenity in us jjh #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun series #jaehyun au

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #350

“let’s play a love game, play a love game / do you want love, or you want fame? / are you in the game?”

Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. Would you kiss this person again? I know I fucking would and I hate it more than I could possibly express. Name something that is on your bedroom wall? Lots of artwork, mostly of meerkats. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I need another desk to put stuff on. If you could paint your walls any color what would it be? Something pastel. Maybe like, peach. Soft and warm and would really bring light to the room. What does your phone case look like? It's just this boring purple one that came with the phone. What do you take the most pictures of? My camera roll says my pets, hahaha. What is the point of Twitter for you? Liking Mark's shit lmao. What does your planner look like? I don’t have one. If you get into an argument what is it usually about? My anxiety, I think. What are you always in the mood for? Ummm probably a car ride where I can control the music in the passenger seat. It is very, very rare I'll turn that opportunity down. What’s the last emergency you dealt with? I don't really know; I'm thankfully not in these situations very much, especially when you're cooped up at home. I probably haven't been actually engaged in an emergency since I had to call 911 for my mom before she found out about her cancer. She was basically immobile from agony in her abdomen. Do you have a son? I'm perfectly happy without a son, or kids period. Are you married? No. Have you ever worn a suit? I haven't. Have you ever had to call 911? Twice for Mom. How many keys are on your key-ring? Just one for the house. What’s the last thing you created? An RP post would count as art creation, I'd say. Who are your closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Well, they might be it as far as friends I consider truly close to me. I have a few other people I consider good friends, but we're just not like... on that "close" level, you know? Lisa is maybe another, and Lyndsey perhaps, both WoW friends. Are you ready to have a family? I hate that "have a family" tends to mean get married and have kids, which I'm guessing is what you're implying. If that's the case, no, given I don't want kids and am not fit to get married right now. I'm not even with anyone. I'm content right now with just living with my mom and my two pets, who are children well enough to me. Have you ever taken a DNA test? No. Do you have a family cemetery? No. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? *shrugs* I think it's pretty normal. How do you feel about swallowing pills? What do you mean how do I "feel" about it? I just do it if I need to. What animal is the scariest in your opinion? Some kind of bug, probably. Giant centipedes creep me the fuck out, for one, and I've heard their bite is incredibly painful. I've also always been very afraid of Australia's funnel web spiders since watching some show on Animal Planet when I was younger; I think it scarred me for life, aha. And let's not forget the murder hornets. No thnx, rather die. :') Have you ever questioned your sanity? Way more than once, my friend. How do you feel about people wearing fur coats? Are you for or against it? I am VIOLENTLY against it unless it is for survival in extreme climates and you don't have access to other material. That aside, there is NO way you could possibly convince me that it's okay to wear the fur of something once living on yourself for ~fashion~. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Let's not go here. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? Haha, yeah. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon or strawberry. I'm not a massive jellybean fan. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? I've never tried it, no. What book/movie has made you cry the hardest? Either The Notebook or Titanic. Something you feared as a kid but don’t anymore? Thunderstorms. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one. Just wash it with water in the shower and then use a washcloth when I feel the need. Would you rather have a snake or a tarantula as a pet? I want both, but I prefer snakes. What is something you are NOT looking forward to? I both am and am not looking forward to my second Covid vaccine because it's notoriously worse than the first; the only bright side to it is that after the potential side effects blow over, I'm job hunting. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time on my phone. Would you rather eat your pizza cold or hot? Hot, but I like both. Who taught you how to swim? Dad, I think? Can you do push-ups? No. Do you like Doritos? Yesssss. Who is the closest friend that you live by? I don't know. Have you ever banged your head against something? I've had two concussions before, so, y'know. Have you ever jumped on a trampoline? Yeah, I loved that as a kid. Do you like watching scary movies? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt? No, considering I have like no ass, rip. Has one of your friends ever tried to "hook you up?" Ugh, yes. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? Landmarks, by a mile. Although, I'm super bad with directions, so it probably wouldn't really matter much. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Yeah, you got to. Does your house have more than one fireplace? No. What was your favourite gym class moment? The one and only thing I liked about gym as a kid was when you took one of those rainbow tarps and made like, an air bubble underneath to make this awesome dome everyone sat in. Ya missed out if you didn't do that. Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yeah. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? Not at all; I was always flattered, knowing they cared enough to want mine. Apple Jacks: yay or nay? I looove those. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie? Haha yeah, I think it's the second one? Such iconic scenes. It's the one with the Mary Jane girl that Shaggy liked... oh, jokes that went over your head as a kid. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say? I'm too lazy to list the convos themselves, but the people involved are my friends Chelsea and Ian, as well as a friend's mother. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No. It's always on vibrate, and I just turn the brightness way down. What is the sexual orientation of the last person you talked to? She's straight. What’s your favourite hairstyle on the opposite sex? Don't you fucking dare laugh, emo hair is A++. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? Not a big one, no. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? Do I?! I love the first one (though for a while I wasn't very happy they swapped the lead role from Harry to his wife), and while the second is literal trash story-wise and it's ALL over the damn place, I still enjoy it with just how much I adore SH as a whole. What movie scared you the most out of any other movies? The Rite, because the concept of being raped and impregnated by a demon is fucking horrifying to me. Have you ever wanted to be on American Idol? When was this? Nah. Name 5 things you don’t believe in. 1.) "Everything happens for a reason;" 2.) karma; 3.) destiny/fate; 4.) psychics, fortune tellers, all that; and 5.) luck, at least in the sense of someone having set "good" or "bad" luck. If you could have any friend that you’ve lost back, who would you pick? Probably Megan. If you have pets, who normally puts food and water in their dish? Me for both of them. Do you organize the pictures on your computer into different folders or are they all just under “My Pictures”? I have folders. Do you think if someone is in a relationship, that it is acceptable to have sleepovers with other people of their preferred sex? Eh, nah, that feels a bit far to me. I am very firmly for friends still being able to hang out even if they're each other's preferred gender, but a sleepover sounds a bit too intimate, even without sharing a bed. Would you shoot a gun if given the chance? If you’ve shot a gun before, how many different types of guns have you shot? No. I'm very intimidated by guns and nearly shook when I merely handed a friend his (not for anything bad, he just carried it with him when he goes out), and I've got noooo plans of holding one again unless my life depends on it. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing things like artwork or poetry you’ve written? Is it because you don’t think it’s good enough to show off or because it’s too personal? You. Have. Zero. Idea. It's for both reasons, and it's far more severe in person. Online, I actually don't mind much, oddly enough... I can't quite pin down why. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? No. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? Knives scare me like five times more than guns. Scary movies have nothing to do with it, though. They're just so sharp and the idea of being stabbed by one is terrifying. As someone with a history of self-mutilation too (not with knives, but I've thought about it and once planned to slit my throat with one, but Mom stopped me), they just make me incredibly uncomfortable to the point I can barely hold a "real" knife to just slice food. Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Many times. What is your LEAST favorite Disney animated movie? That I've seen, uhhhhh... I don't know man, there are way too many Disney movies lmao. Who was the last person’s house you went to besides your own? My sister's. On YouTube, who are two people you find hilarious? I'm just counting GameGrumps as one, and then you can't forget Shane Dawson, regardless of the controversy. He probably made me laugh more than any other YouTuber. Do you shave your pits? Yeah. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? I don't think so. Besides the USA, what is your favorite country? I'm not nearly informed enough about foreign countries' politics and laws and mannerisms to have a favorite. Would you rather go to Europe or Asia? Europe. Would you rather go to Africa or Australia? Africa. Would you rather go to Mexico or Canada? Canada. Do you think emo/scene hair is attractive? I love emo and scene hair, don't @ me, it's cute as fuck. Have you ever seen a ghost orb picture? Lots, actually, at one of my old houses that I totally know was haunted. Do you think abortion should be illegal? NO. You would NOT end abortions. You would end SAFE abortions. Do any of your pets have strange habits? Explain? Venus, my ball python, is extremely odd with food to the point I sometimes worry about her, but she's always been this way and is healthy, so I guess it's nothing really worth fretting over. Anyway, when I place her rat in her terrarium, she gets excited first and will pretty much frantically examine her surroundings, like slithering around everywhere, and even when she has clearly found the rat (she'll even prod it with her snout), she usually won't immediately eat. She just like... sits there and has to continue to verify for ten minutes that it's food. I know it's thawed perfectly, btw. So anyway, THAT'S weird... As for Roman, dear god, that cat's just weird, lmao. Especially in the morning, he's very hyper and will bolt around the house sometimes, he "plays" with nothing all the time, he "meerkat"s at nothing that I can nothing, etc. etc. etc. He's a weirdo lol. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? Oh god, I said something really inapprops once when my friend Chelsea startled me. I won't be repeating it lmao. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Sara, I think. Who have you most feared in your life? My dad. He doesn't scare me anymore, but he did. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? Oh idk. What is the worst word anyone ever used to describe you? "Martyr." And not the kind that dies for their beliefs. It hurt me so badly to know someone thought of me that way, and I'll probably never let it go. If you have any pets, were they adopted from the humane society? No. Roman is one of the billion kittens born to the cats my sister's in-laws have, and Venus is from a ball python breeding business in Florida called The Gourmet Rodent (they sell f/t rodents too, obvs) Do you like home design, like picking out paint colors and furniture? Not really. My grandmother though, whew, that was her calling for sure. Have you seen any of the old James Bond movies? Nope. List all of your features that you have ever gotten compliments on: My hair, my eyes, my tattoos, my hands, I think my nose, my dimples, my smile, and my boobs lmao. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon? And if not, would you ever want to go in one? I haven't. I think it'd be kinda cool, but they seem too easy to fall out of, and I'm afraid of heights. I'd probably go in one if given the opportunity. Do you have any stains on your shirt currently? No, but there are two small rips. It's just an old tank top. Do you listen to local bands? No. Not that I'm opposed, I just don't know of any I really enjoy. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Many, many daily. Do your parents fight? Do they even talk at all? They're divorced; they used to fight a lot when they were together. Now they only talk if they have reason to. Have you ever watched a movie that's in a complete different language, so you had to read sub-titles? No. Do people with yellow teeth disgust you? Dude, fuck off, no. My teeth are kinda yellow, and I'm extremely self-conscious about it, so seriously fuck this question. You never know for sure why someone's teeth may seem yellowish. Do you drink alcohol on New Year’s Eve? Usually a drink or two. Do you wear rings? I always have two on, yeah. Are you hungry right now? No, I literally just ate a breakfast bowl. Have you ever tried smoking a cigarette? No; I haven't the slightest interest in doing so.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''lovegame'' by lady gaga

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randomfandomimagine · 5 years ago

Note

I got a request finally! How would each boy of MLQC react to realizing that they are in love with reader?

Yay, thank you so much for requesting, sweetie! I tried to make this one super cute and fluffy :3

Gavin:

Luckily, Gavin was hit with realization at home

He was just heating up some ramen for dinner when it happened

He smiled to himself when he was reminded of you

And how you always told him he needed to eat better

How he should try to cook instead of having ramen every day

Then Gavin would realize how it’s been a while since he last spoke to you

Sure, he checks in sometimes to make sure you’re doing alright

But he misses having long conversations with you

Be face to face to see how your eyes sparkle, how your face lights up

How that beautiful smile takes over your mouth and makes him feel things

And then it hit him, it’s not just love, it’s so much deeper than that

He has always known he cared about you, he adored you and loved you

But being in love with you? It never crossed his mind

He even got startled when the microwave beeped

Gavin would then start panicking for a little bit

‘If someone realizes she’s my weakness, they might target her’

‘What if I had realized this in the middle of a mission?’

Really, he scolds himself for feeling this way, at least at first

But he sighs and realizes nothing has really changed

You still care about him and him about you

He’s still gonna protect you with everything he has

The only thing that’s changed is how much he misses you

And how he’s suddenly craving to kiss you and hold you

Kiro:

Kiro was on tour, far away from home, feeling nostalgic

He missed going to Souvenir, or to his favorite park

He missed going to his favorite store to buy his chips

And is reminded of the moment he met you

Because over all, he missed you so much that it hurt

Why couldn’t he stop thinking about you, wanting to talk to you?

And not just that, he wants to hug you so badly!

Kiro would then notice he was pacing, but stop all of a sudden

“I’m in love…” He would utter to himself. “With Miss Chips…”

Equal times surprised, amused and overwhelmed, he would chuckle

At least it all makes sense now, how he can’t get you off his mind

He panics for a few seconds, but then everything feels alright

“How can I not? She’s the best” He would smile to himself

And daydream about hugging you, thinking about how great you are

Maybe even text you and promise to hang out as soon as he’s back

Or even write a love song since he feels inspired

Victor:

Victor would be on his office like every day

Just tending to his business as usual when you text him

It would be something quite simple and innocent

Something like ‘I finished the presentation, boss, I’ll make you proud!’

But it would make him smile like a fool, much to his dismay

And still smiling, Victor would mutter to himself ‘dummy…’

Because you’re just so damn adorable but so soft and kind

Too much for his like, yet he’s still so fond of you

And he wants to protect you from this not so kind world

At the same time, he lives for your brightness and softness

Then Victor would drop everything he was doing as he was hit with realization

“I’m such an idiot…” He would tell himself, very annoyed

He’s not just fond of you, he’s… in love with you!

How did this happen? When did he let this get so far?

Victor would just grit his teeth and resign himself

Yes, he loves you, there’s nothing he can really do about it

Other than try to make you as happy as possible and protect you

Lucien:

Lucien has been noticing certain things about himself

How he’s so fascinated by you, even more so than about science

How you’re a mystery to him and he wants to understand you

Also, the way you make him feel in general, it puzzles him

Why does he get flustered when he sees you smile?

Why can’t he wait to see you again or hear your voice?

Why does he want to constantly make you happy no matter what?

He hadn’t really felt any of this before, he doesn’t know a thing

And Lucien doesn’t like not knowing, he’s a man of science

Not to mention a very intelligent man

So he tries to spend more time with you to understand it

Until one day it hits him, he finally understands

He loves you… Not only that, he’s in love with you

Lucien feels overwhelmed, not knowing what to do about it

What does he do? How does he deal with it?

He doesn’t really know what to do with these new emotions

He just has this constant feeling in his chest, a longing

And he loves you so much, he feels a bit lost

So he resigns to try and spend as much time as he can with you

Even if nothing will really change, things will stay the same

Because he doesn’t feel brave enough to confess his feelings

Tag list: @xionroxas / @thegrandduckmaster // If you want to be added or taken off the tag list for these fandoms or characters, let me know!!// Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

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huacheng-zhu · 4 years ago

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Pandemic Mental Health Check In

I was tagged by @sweetlittlevampire, thank you!

How is everyone holding up?

Last two weeks have been Rough, but there’s one less thing off my list of things to be anxious about for the next two months, so there’s always that I guess. Otherwise let’s say that if it wasn’t for my friends and the tgcf donghua coming up and 2ha destroying me on my own terms, I would Not be holding up as well. Surprisingly I’m not yet doing worse than I was last year at around the same time. Probs won’t last.

What are you doing to keep healthy?

Just as always, drinking only water. Otherwise my ‘healthy’ habits (like eating less sugar and less snacks) have decreased a bit since the first lockdown. I still did pretty good for the first few months, buuut yeah. Not doing good now. It’s not bad but I’ve definitely been paying less attention to these things.

Are you working, not working, working from home?

I’m following a training course. In person. Which I like better than working from home BUT given the situation right now, please please can we go back to working from home?

Anyone caring for kids or elders?

Nope. Though I really want to argue that my dad counts.

What was you best/worst day?

Best days were all out of class, and always when talking to my friends. I don’t have any specific days in mind per say, mostly little moments. Immersing myself in Animal Crossing, getting to hug my best friend again, live-reading/live-watching reactions, realizing that wow, I still know how to write after all this time, and people like it!, and so on and so. Just, little things, most of them shared, scattered over the months.

Worst day..... there was one not long ago but I was super out of it so I don’t even remember what day it was. Things just piled up too high, with bad news and anxiety-inducing things being added to the pile at the same time. I’m still riding that mud wave right now but today I’m a bit better.

What inspires you?

In general? To hold on? To do stuff? My friends and the things I’m into at the moment. They make me want to do things and keep doing them when it gets harder, to look forward to the good things that come next and that we can scream and write about together. I’ve always placed a lot of my inspiration and my reasons to look forward to the future in my interests and the feeling of sharing those interests with the people I love.

Are you taking up hobbies?

I got back into writing! After a year of no writing, and even longer of no writing with an actual passion for what I was writing about. And reading?? I read more in four months than I did in the past six years or even more than that. Last time I’d read something was three years ago like what the fuck.

What kind of content helps keep the joy on your dash?

My dash is almost only danmei, and that’s just what I need. Even with it’s MORE ANGST.

Has life gone back to “normal” where you are?

It kinda had for a little bit, but it still felt like something was different, obviously. That said I wish we hadn’t gone back to “normal” because the situation is now worse than it was at the beginning of the pandemic, so YAY. If they’re not idiots again, we should be going back into lockdown pretty soon, but heh.

What are you doing for fun?

Reading and writing! At the cost of barely playing video games anymore (besides Hades, and still a little bit of ACNH) and being super late on Critical Role [lies down] Hard to follow a 3+ hours show when suddenly you’ve got a one-track mind and your old hobbies resurface again.

Tagging @ecthelions, @consideringhobbits, @forgotten-envies but as usual, don’t know who minds being tagged in these, so!

#tag chain

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whispersafterdusk · 4 years ago

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Lost in Time - ch 10

On the morning of Winter Solstice Selene found Eli outside exercising; in fact, over the last three weeks that's how Eli had started her mornings. She knew the woman wanted to get back to her pre-tube physique but she hadn't been pushing herself this hard before -- discovering her dead husband had triggered the change in her and Selene didn't know what to do about it.

'Hopefully Dr. Xu is making headway...' she found herself thinking as she headed over to the corner of the yard that Eli had taken to exercising in. It was a fairly flat area, mostly shielded from the sun in the afternoon and evening, and would have thick grass coverage once the seasons changed; it also was outside of the stable area so there wouldn't be animal droppings to worry about either. Maybe she could pave a small area to give Eli something solid to exercise on too? And when spring arrived with its downpours a paved spot would keep her out of the mud as well...Selene mentally stuck it on her To Do list. ((Continued below cut))

Eli was currently doing push ups, and doing them really damn well -- far better than Selene could ever hope to do. She didn't look up as the builder approached, and Selene waited silently and counted out 52 push ups (and who knew how many she'd already done before Selene had even come outside) before Eli finally came to a stop and shifted her legs around to sit cross-legged in the cleared area of frozen grass.

"Did you still want to go to the Solstice gathering?" Selene asked. For a long moment Eli was silent, then she simply nodded; Selene returned the nod and smiled at her. "Yay, all right -- did you want to be the bringer of cheese or the meats?" She took a step back as Eli got up; once the woman was up and out of the shadow of the edge of the nearby stables Selene could see sweat droplets sparkling in the woman's eyelashes and a thin sheen of it over her face -- she'd need to get inside and get dried off before she froze.

"Cheese, I guess."

It wasn't enthusiastic but she'd take it. "Ok then - I'll go get the foodstuffs while you get cleaned up. We've got a couple hours before everything starts but usually people gather early to watch Django get the hot pot started. It'd be a really good time for you to meet and mingle, talk to people."

"I don't know that I feel up to mingling."

"Oh. Well, uh..."

Eli gave her a strained smile. "Sorry. Don't mean to make things awkward, I just..."

Selene didn't press her to continue; instead she nodded and led the way back into the house where Eli disappeared upstairs to her room and Selene turned into the kitchen. She'd bought some nice cuts of beef and chicken and a very soft and delicious white cheese from Sophie and Emily a day ago. After her first Solstice in Portia Selene had decided to vary what she brought each year; the first time she'd brought diced up layered carrots and last year she'd brought cornballs from her own garden which had turned a small spot of the pot into a spicy chowder. This year would be the first time she'd brought any meats. Hopefully they were sliced thin enough that they'd cook up quickly once they were in the pot...maybe she should have checked with Django first. Oh well.

Eli should at least be well-received for bringing the cheese; the soft white was a Portia favorite and it tended to sell out quick when Sophie had a new batch ready to go.

A quick glance in the fridge showed that the wax paper wrapped around the meats hadn't leaked, and there weren't any grease marks on the paper bag that the cheese was in - it was nice to see that she wouldn't need to put them into other containers or worry about the bags ripping on the way in to town. Selene grabbed a potato fruit fritter out of the bag next to the cheese (she liked Sophie's pies and fritters, what could she say?) and retreated to a chair, slowly munching on the fritter as she waited for Eli.

She was washing grease off her fingers when she heard Eli coming down the stairs; the Dubei woman was combing her hair off to the side as she walked, and was wearing a sweater Selene hadn't seen before - it was a burnt orange color with goldenrod colored trim along the sleeves and collar.

"That looks nice. When did you get that one?"

Eli glanced down and smoothed down the sweater's hem. "Couple days ago. Carol was nice enough to tailor it a bit so it fit better across my shoulders."

"Going to need a lot of tailoring soon, huh?" That got a faint smile from Eli; Selene grabbed the meats and cheese and led the way out of the house toward Portia's gates. "What were celebrations like, in the Old World? Were there a lot of holidays?"

"Saying there were 'a lot' would be a massive understatement. You could find a festival or holiday going on almost every other week," Eli answered.

"Wow... That sounds hectic, but also fun."

Eli shrugged. "Isn't that true of any holiday?"

"True. Oh, here-" Selene briefly spun around and walked backwards, holding out the bag with the cheese in it. "Best cheese anywhere around."

Eli took the bag and tucked it into the crook of her elbow. "So...how does this festival work?"

"Well, we have a giant hot pot that Django gets started with a broth base. We wait 'til it gets boiling, then everyone starts tossing ingredients in. Everyone is welcome to eat as much as they want and because of how big the pot is you'll find little pockets of dozens of different flavors -- and, when we're done, all the leftovers are divvied out to everyone to take home, or available to eat for free at the Round Table for the next couple of days. After we've all eaten we have a snowball fight -- or, WOULD have a snowball fight. What snow that's out in the fields right now isn't all that packable since it's not fresh so I'm not sure if Gale has something else planned instead. And THEN, after that, we all take pictures together."

"...'all,'" Eli repeated. "Who does that include?"

"Everyone in Portia, if they want to," Selene giggled. "I help build the riser platforms each year. When we're done with the hot pot and everyone heads off to the snowball fight I, Paulie, and a couple others move the pot out and get the risers in place for when it's picture time."

"Are the pictures just...for free? For anyone?"

Selene nodded. "Yep. And a lot of the pictures get printed in the newspaper too so even if you don't manage to grab a copy today you can clip it from the paper later."

They were approaching the central plaza now and Selene could already smell the vegetable broth; Dawa and Paulie were standing near the massive hot pot helping Django feed logs to the fire burning beneath it. Gale, Gust, Ginger, and Russo were already there too, and so was Carol and Martha and standing with them were the triplets, Toby, and Jack as well. Their arrival immediately caught the attention of the children; Selene subtly moved Eli around the plaza's edge in the opposite direction.

They stopped at the benches over near the Research Center and Eli sat down, and sat the bag of cheese on the bench beside her.

"That is definitely a large hot pot."

"Yep. No idea who first forged it but it's been in use for awhile - not sure what they used before. Maybe just a giant cauldron or something."

They sat and waited, and watched as more of Portia's residents began to show up. There were a lot of curious and uneasy looks tossed their way; few people seemed willing to do more than nod or wave, and Selene was pretty certain most of the friendlier gestures were aimed at her and not Eli. Really made her wonder what Lee might have been telling others since Eli definitely hadn't done anything to warrant the weird looks she was getting.

Eventually, as more people showed up and more greetings were exchanged, Martha's attention wandered enough that Toby broke away from the group they were all standing in and as Selene suspected the boy made a beeline toward them.

He stopped just short of the bench, eying Eli for a moment or two; despite having a heavy coat on along with his backpack he had managed to also strap a wooden practice sword to his back and the handle jutted awkwardly over his left shoulder.

"Hi! Are you really three hundred years old?"

Eli blinked at the boy for a moment, then sat up a bit straighter. "I think I'm closer to 370, but yes."

"What did you do in the Old World? Were there adventurers?"

Selene watched as Eli's gaze moved from the boy over to where his mother was standing and chatting with Carol and Alice; after a pause Eli looked back to Toby. "I was a ranger. It was a type of soldier."

"Ha!" was Toby's response. "Django said there was more to you than it looked! Did you fight in the war? Did you shoot robots with guns? Was there really robots everywhere you looked? Did you use only guns or did you still use swords and stuff? Do you know how to use a sword?"

"Toby, one at a time," Selene interrupted dryly. Eli got bombarded enough as it was thanks to those nosy scholars.

A small smile crossed Eli's face. "I didn't fight in the war - I was already injured and inside that tube by the time the Calamity hit. I'm not even sure what event started it. As for AIs - yes, we had a lot of them. They did a lot of the work for us, but not ALL of our work. We didn't use swords but we had some long-handled machetes as part of our camping kits and if we fought in close combat we had bangsticks. They were these metal rods of varying length that, if you swung and hit something with it, would release a little electric shock with a loud bang, hence their names. And, I know how to dance with a sword but not how to fight with one."

Selene had been listening quietly as Eli rattled off the answers to Toby's rapid fire questions but the last answer caught her attention. "Dance?"

Eli nodded. "Dubeian saber dancing. Was a hobby I picked up when I was a teenager and carried it along while serving - I wasn't especially limber or graceful but it was still fun."

Toby pulled a face. "Dancing? That sounds boring."

"Maybe, to someone who hasn't ever seen it. You started out with plastic practice props, worked your way up to wooden ones, then blunt metal, then sharpened metal, and the last 'rank' was sharpened metal with a middle, inner strip that you lit on fire."

THAT got Toby's attention. "You danced with fire?"

"Me? No. I only made it up to the sharpened metal rank - live steel, as it was called. Once I was out of school I only got the chance to study and practice when I was on leave from active duty."

"That sounds pretty neat, actually," Selene mused. "Sounds kind of dangerous too though - a sharp edge AND fire?"

"It WAS dangerous, and that's why it was fairly challenging to work your way up the ranks. You learned the basic moves with the plastic, then added weight and balance with the wooden ones. From there you began picking up the advanced stuff with the heavier but blunt metal props, and you needed a perfect score from a certified instructor to move on to the sharpened ones. When you got to the sharpened rank you had to have so many hours of supervised practice as well as a certain number of dances performed and scored by eight different instructors, all perfect scores and with no injuries or else you had to start over and put in the time and effort again. Being as it became something I did on the side to keep myself busy when I was on leave I never had the time to put together the dances or log the hours needed."

"Are you bothering Eli?"

Selene jumped at Arlo's voice and spun around to find him standing behind her with his arms crossed and his attention squarely on Toby.

Toby jutted his lower lip out at Arlo. "No! I'm learning about the Old World."

"Fine, but your mother is looking for you either way."

"Aw man..." Toby slouched off through the crowd back toward Martha who greeted him with a glare and what Selene imagined was a very short and to the point lecture on running off when she clearly wanted him to stay put. He...did that a lot, and could probably recite any lecture by heart now.

When he was gone Eli leaned back against the bench and stretched her legs out. "He wasn't bothering me. Just asking questions."

"Fair enough. Martha WAS actually looking for him however."

Selene shifted around to perch on the arm of the bench, looking up at him. "Are the scholars going to work today too?"

"Not that I know of. Gregory and Adam are going to stay out at the sinkhole just in case they do, and also to keep guard. Mali and the others planned to come take part in the festivities but I've no idea if the scholars will too." Arlo glanced over a shoulder and skimmed the crowd, then returned his attention to Eli. "I did want to mention that Lee gives a sermon every year before we eat - whatever he might say today know he's more or less said something similar every year. This might be the one time I can honestly say it shouldn't be personal."

Eli nodded but didn't say anything in response. After a few moments Arlo moved to sit on the bench with the bag of cheese between himself and Eli, and not too long afterward both Sam and Remington found them and stood about chatting as they waited for Django to signal that the broth was ready; it already appeared to be boiling and Selene spied what she thought were vegetable bits floating around in it. Shouldn't be too long now.

"-Eli, I had a question about Stewart," Sam suddenly asked, abruptly changing the subject away from the weather.

"What about him?"

They'd all had a chance to talk to Stewart at least once now; the All Source AI was polite and helpful but Selene found his constantly shifting facial projection to be massively distracting.

"What are we going to do with him?"

That was a question Selene had thought about too. Wendy, the other All Source AI they'd found, was currently in the Research Center and wouldn't be able to ever leave it now that her original power supply had been damaged beyond repair -- she'd always be tethered to the power supply they'd rigged up for her. Stewart, on the other hand, had been specifically built to be mobile; his inner battery needed repair due to the ravages of time but he was confident they could fix it even with limited technology, and that would leave him with about three months worth of power if he was forced to go without his docking station. Could they move his docking station out of the facility and figure out how to power it up here? It seemed like a huge waste to leave him down in the facility or for him to walk back and forth between there and town.

"I'm not sure yet," Eli answered after a lengthy pause. "He seems convinced the reactor is still fully functional for now, so we've got a bit of time to figure something out. But he'll have to be moved somehow -- the fuel inside a reactor has an expected lifetime and to be honest I'm surprised it's still working after all this time. It won't last forever though, and there's no way we can make more of what fuels it."

"We were able to make a new power source for Wendy," Selene said. She glanced toward the Research Center -- Wendy had seemed satisfied with the power output of the high voltage dual engine set up they'd put together. "Could we move the docking station and make do like we did with her?"

Eli was silent for another long moment - Selene could only imagine the calculations going on in her head. "--it's...possible, I guess. But it'll need a lot of room, first and foremost - we'd need his docking station for sure, along with his memory cores and server banks, and then space enough for whatever power source we come up with to run it all. He might need his own dedicated room entirely."

Remington's eyebrows shot into his hairline. "He really needs that much power? That much room?"

"Yeah, that seems-" Sam paused, then shook her head. "Wendy didn't need that much of either. What's the difference?"

"They're different models," Eli answered. "They might both be All Source AIs but their duties are drastically different and they have different specs. And I bet if we could find Wendy's original memory cores and servers her power and space requirements would shoot through the roof too."

Selene huffed out a sigh at that. "Man...we've lost so much, haven't we? I hope we haven't damaged Wendy on accident."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Eli replied, looking over to her. "If she says she can manage with her current power level then she knows what she can and can't safely process."

"What would happen if we got her hooked up to more power?"

"Probably nothing. Her memory cores aren't attached and she's not connected to anything else to warrant more power right now."

"She DID say that she couldn't teach us anything because all she did was give orders, but she's given us a few blueprints since she said that," Selene said slowly, tapping a finger against her chin as she thought - what did a memory core or server bank even look like? "If she had her memory cores, would that make a difference in what she could teach?"

"A huge difference. You can't teach something if you don't remember knowing it in the first place. With her it's likely she DID know the inner functions of certain technologies but that information was stored in a separate memory core than what she's carrying onboard now. If we separate Stewart from his servers and cores he'll lose a lot of what he knows too."

"Which seems like a poor idea," Arlo broke in. "Having those medical texts is helpful but having something on hand that actually knows it and could teach it to others is way more valuable."

Sam shrugged. "The clinic DOES have that storage room upstairs, and also the space around it to add on another room or two - it'd make more sense to install Stewart in the clinic than it would here at the Center, since he's a medical AI. I think it was just last year that Dr. Xu was talking to Albert about a possible expansion too."

Remington shook his head at her. "He only did that because Phyllis wants to open her own office. I think the plan was adding on and giving that space to her to start out with but she found a place out in South Block that she's trying to buy instead. He probably wouldn't say no to an expansion to house Stewart but I don't know that any plans or budget from before would be useful now since he wasn't factoring in an All Source AI's needs."

Selene stood up and stretched as she noticed Gale taking his place at the center of the crowd. "Eh, leave it for another day - looks like it's about time to start."

Portia's townsfolk had all clustered around the hot pot and Selene and the others were basically at the back of the group; Gale was a little hard to hear but, as he did every year, he greeted everyone and then invited Lee to start his sermon.

-----------------------------------------

Eli listened quietly as Lee detailed how, after the Calamity, the sky had darkened and sunlight had disappeared. AIs had gone rogue, crops were failing, people were starving - humanity already pushed to the brink was getting even closer to extinction. To hear that finally, in a moment of need, people came together to ensure survival was nice...even if the story as a whole was very bleak.

'To think I outlived all that because of a stupid tube and science I can't understand...'

One of the first things she'd asked Stewart was why she was down there - why she was in that tube - and the AI couldn't tell her.

Not because he didn't know but because he'd been ordered not to tell anyone outside of the project involving the tubes. And what that project was was also something he couldn't share, and no amount of administrative access he could grant her would give her access to those files. He couldn't go against his orders or his programming and had been very apologetic but ultimately she'd gotten nowhere with that subject.

The rest of her questions had been directly answered, at least, and it painted chaotic, terrifying, and destructive final days for the facility and the people of Dubei.

First had come a bombardment from orbital railguns. Eli hadn't even known there WERE railguns up in orbit, and if they had fired freely on Dubei she imagined no one in charge had known they were there either (or if they HAD known, why weren't there defenses in place?). Who could have gotten railguns into orbit without anyone detecting them? Maybe they were inside something else...hidden, so that no one would suspect. And if that were the case then it could have been any nation behind it, and while Eli knew diplomacy had been breaking down she didn't think the Generals would have kept something this potentially devastating a secret...

Then Stewart had detailed how, in the immediate aftermath of that first attack, a small group of unknown assailants had forced their way in and appeared to be there to steal top secret information from various government-funded research projects. Stewart didn't know what files in particular they had come for but they were systematically searching floors and attempting to breach his encryptions and firewalls before they'd been subdued either by security or by circumstance; the orbital bombardment had leveled over half the city and obliterated that part of the facility that had been above ground, and the damage had caused the air filtration and circulation system to go haywire during the infiltration. Several of the underground sections were subsequently flooded with such severely polluted air, smoke, and particulates that it had caused many to suffocate (even some who had tried to get protective equipment on had been killed before it made a difference) before Stewart had been able to get the systems under control again and broadcast an order to begin evacuation once the intruders had been dealt with.

A small silver lining to this was the suffocation had taken out some of the attackers too, though their losses paled in comparison to the number of employees that had died. There was a mad scramble by those left to try and pack and prioritize, and to the credit of the survivors a lot was able to be salvaged and taken with them as the remaining living AIs were able to carry a lot more than a human could. But it was during the rush to leave that they'd been hit with a second bombardment and Stewart lost all contact with the surface world. In the chaos of the second attack Stewart had issued a total evacuation order: if it couldn't be immediately carried out on one's person then it had to be left behind...supplies, personal effects, the fallen, everything. Those few that were left alive to hear the order made it out through old maintenance tunnels.

And that was it. Ever since then Stewart had been the lone guiding force within the facility and had struggled to keep it functional (especially after an earthquake struck about 73 years after the second bombardment and had destroyed even more of the facility), and make certain that the remaining stationary AI assistants like Pauline as well as Eli in her tube survived until help arrived (something Stewart admitted he had lost hope for several times over the centuries).

That was a touchy subject... Eli had been in a tube, and so had all but two of her squadron. It had definitely hurt to know that most everyone she'd worked with AND her husband were all dead in the same room she'd spent over three hundred years "sleeping" in and that it had only been sheer dumb luck that the earthquake's damage hadn't reached far enough into the room to take her out too. Thinking about it, even briefly, was enough to make her eyes sting and well up and she quickly squashed it down and tried to focus on the end of Lee's sermon.

Better times... Yeah, compared to what she'd been told had happened, and what had been been endured, these times were certainly better. Humanity had a future even if it felt like she didn't.

Don't think about it.

At least, don't think about it until the next session with Dr. Xu. Or, bare minimum, she should aim to make it through today without falling apart.

"-all right, time to start adding things."

Eli flinched a bit as Selene - she hadn't even noticed the woman had moved from the other end of the bench - grabbed her by the elbow and tugged her toward the enormous hot pot, giving her only a moment to pick up her sack with the cheese in it; Arlo stayed with them and had produced a small bag of eggs from somewhere - she was about to ask where he'd been hiding it when she noticed Sam pull a cluster of some leafy green herb out of the bag she seemed to carry everywhere. She handed whatever the herbs were to Remington and then pulled out a parcel wrapped in wax paper; Sam wasted no time in approaching the pot and dumping the contents of her parcel in and Eli watched as a small shower of tiny meatballs plopped into the boiling broth.

"What'd you end up bringing?" Remington asked then. He had a small pocket knife in hand and was carefully cutting off the string that held the bundle of herbs together; she caught a whiff of it as well as a closer look and thought it was coriander.

Eli opened her bag and pulled out the chunk of cheese inside it, and managed to smile a bit as Remington's eyes lit up at the sight of it.

"Ha, you actually managed to get your hands on some of Sophie's cheese? That'll win you a lot of friends today I bet." He wiped the blade of the knife clean on the hem of his shirt then offered it to her, handle first. "Here, this'll help."

The cheese was the size of her two fists put together and it cut smoothly. She did notice a couple of approving looks as she dropped the first few pieces into the pot and watched as it melted and floated on the top almost like a cream.

"Should I try to spread it out?" she asked, glancing over to Remington; Arlo and Selene seemed to have moved on to other spots around the pot, chatting with the other townsfolk as they walked and dropped in cuts of meat and freshly cracked eggs at random intervals.

"You can, or you can claim a little spot and let others come to you," Remington answered. He started gently twisting the coriander into small handfuls that he sprinkled over a wide area of the hot pot's surface; the boiling broth quickly sent the little green bits floating away or sinking inward.

Along with the sudden surge of various types of foodstuffs appearing in the pot there were a lot of people and a lot of separate conversations going on around her; for now she decided to slice up about a third of what she had and spread it in the same area. As she was carefully cutting off a few more slices one of the short, hairy men appeared at her elbow with what looked like fresh fish fillets.

"Hey, look at that," was the man's greeting as he spied the cheese in her hand. "I always end up eating all that myself when I manage to get my hands on it."

She recognized him in that he was identical to the three others like him that she'd met, but his glasses were more opaque and a different size and shape than the ones his brothers wore. Quadruplets? "Would you like a piece to eat?" She cut off a decently thick bit and offered it to him; he accepted it with a grunt and smile and popped the whole thing into his mouth before beginning to carefully slip the fillets into the broth.

"-so, you're Eli. I'm Qiwa. You meet the rest of my brothers yet?"

"I've met Dawa, Sanwa, and I saw a third brother on the night I was introduced but I'm guessing that wasn't you. How...uh, how many of you ARE there?"

Qiwa began to chuckle, and didn't respond until he had all the filets in the pot; after wiping his hands on his shorts (Eli couldn't fathom how he wasn't freezing) he began to point to various spots in the crowd. There was Dawa, and Sanwa, and there was...three, four, five...

"-there's SEVEN of you?" she asked, looking down at Qiwa in amazement. "What's in Portia's water and should I be concerned?"

That got a deep belly laugh out of Qiwa. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it! We at least color code ourselves."

He kept on laughing and Eli shook her head - seven identical brothers, good grief. She cut a couple more slices of cheese and let them drop in; Qiwa headed off, still chuckling, and for a brief moment Eli was left standing more or less by herself as people milled around. Seeing that the pot was pretty cheesy where she was standing she decided she would move around after all and carefully edged off to the left toward a dark-haired woman who was carefully adding in what looked like dumplings but before she got too far another woman stepped in her path and cleared her throat.

"Oh, uh - hello." Her brain stalled on the woman's name; she knew she owned the bakery and she recognized her from earlier when Arlo had sent Toby scampering back to her.

"Hello. Sorry to bother you on a holiday but could I have a word in private?"

"Sure." Eli returned the cheese to the crumpled up bag and tossed the knife in with it as well, then tucked it under an arm and followed Martha - THAT was her name, right - as the woman headed over toward the far wall and gate that led out of Portia.

Once they were away from the crowd Martha inhaled deeply and seemed to be trying to force a smile but it didn't quite cover up how tense the woman seemed.

"You might have guessed this already or been told but I'm Toby's mother," Martha started. "I know he ran off earlier to pester you with questions and now all he can talk about is you being a soldier and fighting robots."

Eli winced a bit. "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to-"

Martha waved her hands and shook her head. "No, it's not that - I'm used to him being a nuisance and overly excitable when he gets fixated on something. It's more that I know exactly what he's going to do next and I wanted to ask you NOT to indulge him."

"...huh?"

Martha sighed and ran a hand over her headband and then through the hair it was just barely holding back from her face. "His father was an adventurer, and it got him killed. Toby is dead set on being an adventurer too, and while Django has been humoring him and teaching him some very basic swordplay I know without a doubt that he'll come asking after you to teach him how to fight as well. And I don't want you teaching him anything, because I don't want him encouraged to go off into the wilds like his father did."

...well, that's not what she'd been expecting. Eli mulled that over for a few breaths - it was a reasonable enough request, on the surface. "I can abide by that, sure. Can I ask you something, though?"

"Oh good! And, of course."

Eli shifted the cheese from one arm to the other, turning her head to skim the crowd and pick out where Toby was standing with the other children again; he had that practice sword in hand and was waving it wildly as he spoke, and the others were laughing along with him. "I don't mean for this to sound insulting or belittling, but how confident are you that you can keep him from running off, if he's determined to follow after his da?"

Martha's expression faltered a moment and then she sighed heavily. "Well...so far I've not had much luck..."

She trailed off and Eli nodded, more to herself than to the woman -- that was what she thought the answer was going to be. It would seem little boys are just as headstrong now as they were three hundred years ago; it was a bit endearing but knowing how concerned Martha was just based on how she was acting now...

"I won't teach him anything if you don't want me to, but it sounds like - at least for the time being - he's not going to let go of that particular dream. And if that's the case, maybe he SHOULD be learning how to take care of himself in a fight." She turned her attention from the kids back to Martha. "Since you worry he's going to run off anyway learning how to handle himself in a dangerous situation and how to deal with injuries and survival techniques would be valuable information for him. THOSE are topics I'm well versed in, and I wouldn't mind teaching him. But, I've got an idea for a compromise: I could bore him to tears with it in the process and see how much he likes the adventuring life then when he gets to see what all is needed for it."

Now it was Martha's turn to mull things over, glancing between Eli and Toby but seeming to be looking through them rather than at them. "I...didn't think of it like that. I try not to think about it in general because I just don't want to lose him like I lost his father. And, what do you mean when you say you could bore him?"

"I am definitely well-practiced in not thinking about things," Eli said quietly. She took a breath and then flashed Martha a half-smile. "And yeah, bore him with it. If we make learning the skills and the act of adventuring seem like more trouble than its worth that might work better than forbidding him from doing it. He's a kid after all: I've not met a kid who didn't push boundaries or rebel against their parents. This might be a phase you can turn him away from but if not at least he's not walking out into the wild unknown not knowing a thing about how to take care of himself. -- and actually, I had another deterring idea. How's his grades?"

----------------------------------------------------

After the hot pot gathering they'd all gone out into the fields for the largest game of "flag tag" Eli had ever participated in. Everyone was exhausted and muddy by the end of it but they all remained in good spirits as they trudged back in to town to goof around in front of cameras (old-fashioned film cameras...another thing that had been old even in her time).

While she'd admittedly not felt like mingling or even really felt human this morning Eli found she was glad she'd let Selene drag her out. The weird looks had mostly stopped by late afternoon and while only a handful of people had been brave enough to walk up to her she felt less...like an outsider, more or less. And she hadn't run into that minister either so the whole day had been pretty peaceful; she had a small photo of herself with Selene, Xu, Arlo, and Dawa posing beneath the large tree that took up the center of the plaza, and her jacket smelled faintly of wood smoke as she walked back toward Selene's place.

In the morning she'd be heading back into town to meet Martha at her bakery, before Toby had to be at school. He didn't know it yet but he was about to be offered survival and combat lessons, taught by Eli, on the condition that he had to get high scores on all his schoolwork for the next two quarters.

Martha had been tickled pink by the idea as it seemed Toby was a little terror in school too, and while the prospect of having to focus in school may not deter him initially Eli still vividly remembered her boot camp days...they'd find out how determined Toby was when she started putting him through his paces (both physical and mental - took more than just being strong to be a good ranger).

But, on the flip side of that particular coin, if he kept with it he'd be one heck of a well-trained adventurer. At the very least that ought to relieve a bit of Martha's worry about the kid if their combined efforts couldn't turn his attention away from a future career of adventuring.

She would also need to drop by the Civil Corps building and give Remington back his pocket knife - she hadn't been able to find him after the tag game so it was currently in her own pocket (and she'd made sure to clean the cheese off before closing it).

When she got inside she borrowed a thumb tack from Selene and stuck the picture to the top edge of the headboard of her bed, then changed into the loose pants and shirt she'd designated as sleep wear and crawled under the covers. Along with needing to talk to Martha and Toby, and return Remington's knife, she was also expected down in the facility to babysit the scholars...it was going to be a very busy day.

#Lost in Time #lit #Lost in Time - ch 10 #Arlo #Builder #Remington #Sam #Qiwa #Martha #My Time at Portia

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mymelodyheart · 4 years ago

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Forget Me Not Chapter 28 ~Stags and Hens~

Claire looked in the mirror. No freaking way!

Geillis had lent her a dress that emphasised her burgeoning curves when she would have preferred something loose. Turning sideways, she glanced once more at her reflection. Although she had gained weight and had a slight tummy, she didn't look pregnant at all. Curvy, yes. She turned around to check out her behind and admired the snug fit over the swell of her arse. Even her breasts had filled out, and the dress fitted her front in all the right places.

Before her pregnancy, she had always been thin and lanky, and her height had only accentuated her leanness. And now, much to her pleasant surprise, her curves filled the dress quite nicely.

Her hands absentmindedly smoothed the dress down and bit her lip. What will Jamie think? Is the dress too daring?

She let out a big sigh and thought about changing, but she realised Geillis wouldn't allow it. She would probably march her right back into her bedroom and wait until she chose another outfit. Might as well embrace the look, she thought. After all, this was her hen night.

The printed black minidress barely skimmed the top of her knees, and the black suede knee-high boots boasted chunky heels making her even taller. The scooped neckline exposed an ample amount of cleavage, revealing plenty of creamy white skin. Completing the look, she donned on a leather jacket to give the whole outfit a less formal appearance.

She squinted at her face. Mascara darkened her lashes, the blush highlighted her cheekbones and the red lipstick brought out the paleness of her skin and the honey gold of her eyes. Usually tied up in a bun, she left her curls loose. Not bad, Beauchamp!

Claire was determined to enjoy her bachelorette night and put the incident with Geneva behind her. The episode of that fateful night had definitely scarred her for life. But not quite as much as what Isobel had to endure. Earlier, she had paid her a visit at the hospital. Horrified at the damage that was inflicted on her skin, Claire had almost cancelled her wedding to Jamie. However, she made a promise to Isobel.

"Don't let my sister win, Claire. If you cancel your wedding because of what happened to me, then you're helping Geneva achieve her goal by disrupting your life. She may be locked up in jail, but she can still hold power over you if you allow it. Go ahead with the wedding and don't allow what I tried to stop from happening to be in vain. Promise me, Claire."

And so Claire promised. If Isobel was brave enough to face what was coming ahead of her, then she too will dig deep and find that courage.

Loud voices caught her attention and brought her back to the present. Taking a deep breath, Claire grabbed her clutch and came out of her bedroom. Three pair of eyes settled on her as soon as she walked into the living space.

Geillis let out a high-pitched squeal and clapped. "Oh, Claire, that dress is perfect! Ye have some killer curves on ye. I knew it would suit ye. What do ye think, lads?"

Feeling conscious, Claire tugged the edge of her jacket. "Thank you. The material feels lovely, and I wasn't so sure if I could pull it off."

"Ach, ye dinna ken how to buy a dress in yer size. Ye always buy a size too big. It's yers now. That dress is more for a leggy person like ye."

Willie smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Ye look fabulous, Claire. I hope ye girls have fun tonight."

"Thanks, Willie. And you too."

She waited for Jamie's response, but his face remained inscrutable. Holding her breath, she watched him approach and slid his hands underneath her jacket to pull her against him. Careful not to ruin her makeup, he gave a feather-light kiss on her cheek. "Ye look stunning, Sassenach," he whispered, for her ears only. "I feel like saying, zip up this jacket because yer tits are quite an eyeful. Instead, I'm going to be an understanding fiance, suck it up like a good man and wish ye a fun-filled hen party." And then he turned his head towards Geillis. "...and hopefully, not too rowdy. She's pregnant, mind?" he said in a louder voice.

She tried her best to suppress her amusement. Cupping Jamie's face with both hands, he turned his face towards her. "Well, Mr Fraser, I wish you a lovely evening too. I heard the lads in the kitchen arranged ...uhm, let say an interesting stag-do for you. Something that involves ... a dancer?"

Jamie groaned as he ran a hand through his hair. "I have no idea about a dancer, I swear. To be honest, I'd rather skip this part and have a quiet evening with ye ..."

"Oh no, ye don't," Geillis disagreed, seizing Claire's hand before Jamie could give her any ideas. "Ye have a lifetime ahead of ye to spend time together. I'm not lettin' ye take this away from me."

Willie laughed out loud. "Come on, Jamie. We best get going. The cab is waiting for us outside."

A loud beeping echoed down the street.

"That's our ride, princess," Geillis announced, tugging Claire's hand once more.

"Oh by the way, where are ye going?" Jamie called out to their retreating backs.

"None of yer business! This is Claire's evening and nae lads allowed. Ye have yer own evening to worry about. See ye later and don't wait up for us!"

As the girls stepped outside, a white stretched limousine was already in the driveway with a bunch of giggly, happy women waving through the tinted windows. On the other side of the street were two cabs waiting for Jamie and Willie.

A tingle of exhilaration shimmered down Claire's spine. Ignoring the howls and whistles from Jamie's friends in the other vehicles, they climbed into their limo. Scents of mingled perfume, alcohol and feminine excitement floated in the air. Jenny, Louise and three other friends from her college were dressed to impress, and they each had a plastic flute of champagne. Claire wished she could have a drink. Instead, she grabbed a bottle of water Geillis offered to her.

Drinks flowed, and gossips were exchanged as they were driven to their destination. After eating and partying at a Cabaret show, they piled back in the limo and hit a gay strip bar where they danced and partied some more. Although Claire couldn't join in the girls' drinking fest, she had a great time.

Their last stop was their village pub which was walking distance from their house. As they went in, they were quickly ushered to the backroom. The place was bursting to the seams, and the music blared loudly from the speakers. Claire's friends were already half-way drunk, and they were soon joined by more females from the hotel who just got off work to celebrate with them.

Geillis bumped into her, spilling some of her drink. "Are ye ready for the main event? Louise arranged it."

"I know it's a male stripper. I overheard the plan," Claire cringed. "I don't want a naked man pawing me. As my best friend and maid of honour, you need to step up and be my wingman."

"Wing woman ye mean," Geillis hiccuped, as she took a sip of her cocktail. "Mmmm, this is so good and extra fruity. So ye overheard the plan, aye?"

Claire motioned to the chair in the middle of the room. "Well, a pretend cop is supposed to come in and tell us off for being boisterous, and then drags me to that chair so he can writhe all over me. Not my idea of fun!"

"Sounds like a solid plan to me."

Claire glared, but the effect was lost when Geillis slurped her drink. "I need you to take the hit for me. When the stripper comes in, you take my place. Please!"

Another hiccup. "I don't look like ye though," Geillis pointed out.

"It doesn't matter. Everyone's drunk. No one will notice. The girls just want to see a naked body."

"Aye, about that. Ye invited all the female staff from the hotel. Of course, they'll want to see a naked body."

Claire grinned. "Well, they missed out on the fun because they had to work. So I guess the stripper is the next best thing. So, are you going to do it? Take my place?"

"Hell no! In as much as I would love to have a hot body gyrating in front of me, Louise will kill me if I took yer place. This is her gift for ye. I'm not going to be the one to spoil her pressie."

"Damn it! I wish I could drink to numb my brain. Fine! I'll do it, but it doesn't mean I have to enjoy it."

Geillis pressed a noisy kiss on her cheek. "Dinna fash, lass. It will be a bloody laugh. Oh, here, ye'll need a lot of these." Her friend stuffed a handful of pound notes into her fist.

"Yay, me. I finally get to stick money in a bloke's G-string. I can tick off an item from my bucket list," she muttered sarcastically.

Geillis gave her a sympathetic look. "This one is for ye. Have a drink," she said, handing her cocktail from a nearby bar table. "I ordered it. It's a Virgin Colada. I promised Jamie no alcohol will touch yer lips, but this is yummy."

Claire smiled and softened up as she took a sip from her non-alcoholic beverage. "Sorry for sounding ungrateful and being a grump about the stripper. You girls have pulled off a fabulous party for me, and I appreciate it."

Geillis quickly hugged her before raising her glass. "Ach, it's nae bother. What are friends for. Here's to friendship!"

"Friends forever!"

Their glasses clinked and tipped over, and a third of their drinks spilt on the floor. They looked at each other and burst into giggles before they heard a loud shriek coming from Louise.

"What!?! What do you mean the stripper isn't coming?"

..........

Jamie, Willie and their friends entered their local village pub. They have been bar-hopping in the neighbouring towns all evening, drinking, and playing pool and darts. Since they all lived nearby, they had decided to stop by for one last drink before heading home. The place was packed and loud as expected of a Bank Holiday weekend.

Although he had wanted a more subdued bachelor's party, it felt great to hang out with his brother and closest male acquaintances. The only time their party became rowdy was when Jamie was presented with a lap dancer at one of the bars. With phone cameras readily accessible and thinking of how it would look like in the social media, he waivered his right as the man of the hour to his friend, Rupert, who was only too happy to oblige. The last thing he needed was a picture of him in an uncompromising situation.

At the bar, Willie ordered a round of pints and shots for the stag party. Jamie was about to reach for his drink when screams ran through the pub, making everyone crane their necks to look at the commotion. The backroom, usually used for private parties, was lively. Music blared, and he caught a swarm of short skirts, swishing hair and loud revelry.

"Bloody hen party. They're all from yer hotel," the bartender explained as if reading his thoughts. "One of the lasses ordered a male stripper, but I just got a phone call from the lad saying he cannae make it. He came down with the flu or something. I just told one of them, and she wasn't too pleased. When they all hear about it, I'm dead meat. It's all paid for."

A grin tugged at Willie's lips as he looked at Jamie. "Ach, our hens are in there. I remember Geillis saying something about Louise ordering a stripper. Do ye think Claire will be disappointed?"

Before he could reply, a resounding slap hit him on the back. "Weel, Jamie lad, perhaps she'll be disappointed or maybe not. How about giving those lasses something to remember, aye?" Murtagh sallied. "Do a striptease for yer bride. It'll be a story worth telling yer future grandchildren one day."

"If ye're not up for it, I wouldn't mind doing it," Rupert interrupted, joining in the banter and shaking his hips.

Something wicked lit up in him. Inebriated and feeling bold, he playfully shoved his mate on the shoulder. "Aye, that'll be right! No fucking way are ye going anywhere near my Claire. I'm doing it."

Everyone in their party hooted and chanted his name.

"Get in there lad and claim yer bride!"

"Aw, c'mon, Fraser. In a couple of days, she's all yers. I just want to show the lass what she'll be missing once ye're both hitched," Rupert whined, feigning disappointment.

Jamie drained his beer and signalled for another round. "I got this pal. Go get yersel' yer own bride," he grinned, shrugging off his jacket.

"Hey, I have the lad's costume here at the back if ye're doing it. He's about yer size so ye'll have no trouble fitting in it. There's also a wig and a pair of aviator's glasses," the bartender offered, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

Jamie nodded and made his way to the room behind the bar. It didn't take long before he was kitted into a snug-fitting, fake police uniform. Glancing at the small mirror, he was thrilled at how the black wig, cap and the aviator's glasses concealed his identity nicely. It was a good thing he had shaved off his beard as it would have ruined his disguise. Satisfied, he went back to his friends and was greeted with howls of laughter and cheers. After drinking a couple of shots of whisky, the stag party, led by Jamie, made their way to the back room.

Jamie reached the door, and a petite brunette stumbled out on teetering heels and ran into his chest. He caught her on time. She was one of the staff from the restaurant in their hotel. Her blue eyes sparkled and widened at the sight of him, but there was no trace of recognition. "Ladies!" she screeched as a round of giggles floated past. "Get the music ready!"

Someone grabbed his hand and led him into the room.

He frowned, alcohol dulling his brain for a moment. Then he remembered why he was there. He looked around and found himself in a snake pit. His brother and friends had disappeared into the dark corners, and he was surrounded by women.

There were lots and lots of women, and most of them he knew, but no one recognised him, most probably because of their intoxicated state. They stared at him like he was a feast served on a silver platter. The group started to scream and stamp their heels on the floor.

"He's here!" Louise yelled. "Get ready for an arrest, ladies!"

A lone chair stood in the centre of the circle under the bright light. Suddenly, Joe Cocker's You Can Leave Your Hat On blared through the speakers. Aaah, shite, what have I gotten myself into?

"Take it off, lad!"

"I'm breaking the law, darling, come on over here!"

Louise giggled and crooked her finger. "I've been awfully bad, officer. And I'm concealing a deadly weapon. Come frisk me!" He nearly ran out of the room when she began to jiggle her breasts at him.

He was drunk, and the women were even more so. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Jamie was about to turn around and end the charade when Geillis shook her head in annoyance and yanked his arm. She seemed irritated by his inaction. Obviously, she too was too drunk to recognise him.

"Listen, pal. My mates and I paid good money for ye," she whispered venomously. "Ye look good enough to eat but don't just stand there. Give us a show. We won't bite."

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck! "Listen, this is a mistake," Jamie started.

Geillis rolled her eyes. "Ach, for crying out loud. Just take yer shirt off, dance a bit and arrest someone. I promise I'll tip ye extra. Oh, curly tops Claire is the bride, she is hiding over there." She pointed her finger at her friend, squashed between two other girls with a scared look at her face. Aah, Sassenach!

"She doesn't look interested," he said. "Maybe getting her a stripper wasn't such a bright idea, huh?"

Geillis glowered at him. "For fuck sake, I'm sorry if ye're suddenly shy and want to retreat, but ye're here now. Just take some clothes off, shimmy yer hips and make the lassies happy. Deal?" He was about to open his mouth to tell her there won't be any clothes taken off, but she clapped her hands. "Alright, ladies, our hot copper is ready. Claire, get yer arse on the chair."

The group screamed and whistled and stamped their feet. Pound notes waved madly in the air. Women danced provocatively to the beat, waiting for him to start stripping.

He turned his attention to Claire and watched her walk to the centre. She weaved her way through screaming women, and instead of sitting on the chair, she positioned herself right in front of him. He wondered if she would see through his disguise since she was the only sober person in the room.

Without the leather jacket, her dress clung to her curves like a second skin, and her front showed far too much cleavage. As enticing as she looked, Jamie was glad the stripper didn't come and that his friends were in the far end of the room. With her long legs clad in knee-high boots, her hair all loose, and pouty lips painted red, his future wife looked sexy as hell. She was all tits, legs and curves.

Ignoring the noise and urging of the crowd, he stared helplessly at her, completely intoxicated, besotted and aroused all at the same time.

Her teeth pulled at her lower lip, and she frowned. "Jamie?"

He let out a sigh of relief. "Sssh, the lassies don't know it's me. I was told at the bar the stripper couldn't come, so I took his place. I ken it's a stupid drunken idea..."

A giggle escaped her lips. "Louise hired a cop stripper. I begged Geillis to take my place, but she wouldn't have any of it." Her head tipped up and down to look at him. "I'm glad now she didn't take my place. That uniform looks incredibly hot on you, and I'm afraid you do look like a stripper."

He moved closer. "You think?"

"Yes."

The women roared their frustration, chanting for him to strip.

"What should I do?"

"I can see you brought the stag party with you. Why not give them a show," Claire replied, looking over his shoulder.

Surprised at her bold request, he grinned. "Be careful what you wish for, Sassenach," he warned in a low voice.

Claire took a step forward to nip at his earlobe, her breath rushing in his ear. "So I've been told often enough." Pulling away, she arched an eyebrow and smiled at him. "Well? Are you putting on a show for the bride-to-be? Or are you chickening out?"

He didn't know if it was the alcohol or her teasing that pushed him. Without warning, he tossed her over his shoulder and deposited her right on the chair, making her squeal.

The women screamed in delight and the men at the back wolf-whistled. The music rolled out its slow rhythm, but he refused to dance. Instead, his fingers paused at the top of his shirt, stroking slow. As the screams of the crowd got louder, he flicked the button open, making Claire's eyes widened in shock, her lips forming an O shape.

He repeated the motion with the second button, and pound notes started flying through the air and chants of "take it off" vibrated the room. He took no notice of the frenzy and focused intently only on her.

He watched her gaze follow the motions of his hand, her cheeks flushing profusely and her mouth opening and closing as if wanting to say something, but no words came out. "Do ye want me to continue, Sassenach?"

Even with the deafening noise, she heard him clearly. "Yes," she nodded, looking like she was in a trance.

With slow, deliberate motions, he finished unbuttoning his shirt and slowly parted the material.

The crowd went wild.

The fact Claire's friends didn't recognise him, emboldened him further. He leaned down and braced his hands on both sides of her chair. "They want more," he said. "Do ye want more?"

She stared into his eyes before answering. "Yes."

Reaching over to pull her to her feet, he grabbed her hands and pressed them to his chest. "Do it for me then, Sassenach."

In his periphery, he saw Laoghaire taking photos. What is she doing here? This was a private party. Then he realised she thought he was just a hired stripper.

Refocusing on Claire, he felt her hands stroke his abdomen. Her name was chanted in unison, commanding her to take it all off for him. Her fingers traced the edge of his belt buckle, and then she paused. Their gazes locked. "No." Her voice broke. He caught a glimpse of raw possessiveness in her eyes. "I don't want anyone else to see you."

He muttered a vicious curse. "Good because I've had enough of this. I just want to take ye home."

"What are you waiting for? Take me home then, Jamie."

He quickly refastened the buttons on his shirt as loud boos filled the air. Beyond caring, he gathered Claire in his arms and kissed her thoroughly, and when she twined her arms around his neck and kissed him back, he heard the loud gasps of her friends' shock and whistles from the stag group. And more picture snaps from Laoghaire.

"Claire!" Geillis shouted in disbelief. She tried to stop Laoghaire from taking more photos, thinking her friend was kissing a stranger. But Claire wasn't listening.

"Home it is then. Hang on tight, Sassenach, we'll make this an exit they'll never forget," he said against her lips. When she nodded, he lifted her up, and she held on burrowing her face against his neck.

"Hey, stop! Ye cannae take the bride. Ye're supposed to strip and not haul her like a caveman."

"Too bad. I'm stealing the bride!" Jamie yelled as he fought his way through a crowd of tipsy and bewildered women.

"Stop him!" someone shouted.

He was about to reach for the door when Jenny jumped and blocked their exit. Her cheeks were red and flushed, and her eyes had a determined look. She waved an empty bottle of wine in the air in a threatening manner. "Listen, ye moron. Ye put my sister-in-law down slowly and carefully, and no one will get hurt," she cautioned, in a slurred voice.

"Jenny!" Claire blurted.

"It's alright Claire bear, I got this," Jenny said, swinging her weapon at Jamie. She took a step forward, stopped and blinked. "Huh? Jamie?"

"Aye, it's me," Jamie hissed impatiently. "Can't ye recognise yer own flesh and blood?"

"What the hell!?! It's that bloody wig and those ridiculous glasses! What are ye doing here?"

"Out of the way, we're going," Jamie muttered. He made a move to go past Jenny, but Laoghaire blocked their path and took another picture of them.

"Wait till Jamie sees what ye've been up to," Laoghaire sneered at Claire, waving her phone in one hand.

Jamie was slowly losing patience. He gently put Claire down and confronted the blond girl. "Aye, I ken fine what Claire's been up to," he snapped, wrenching the aviators and plucking the cap and wig from his head and throwing them on the floor. "And ye shouldn't be here. This is a private party, and I don't think ye're invited. Now leave and do something good in yer life for once."

He felt Claire tugging his arm, but he waited until an embarrassed and speechless Laoghaire was led out of the room by one of his friends, not trusting her to turn his back. When she was finally gone, the whole place erupted in cheers and whistles.

"Jesus, Jamie, all these crazy girls coming out of the woodwork. Do you think we'll ever make it to our wedding without another girl popping up to tear us apart?" Claire asked in exasperation.

Annoyance surged, but he quickly tamped it down. It wasn't his fault, and neither was it Claire's. If he had his way, they would have been married weeks ago and skipped all the frippery that entailed the wedding. He closed the distance between them and pulled her against him. "I know, Sassenach and I'm so sorry. Sometimes grief is a price we pay for love. In the end, we're both stronger because of it."

"I know. And I'm sorry too. I don't have doubts about us. I just don't like people getting hurt." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. "Shall we go? I would like a continuation of that striptease," she teased, trying to lighten the moment.

Her suggestion made his stomach clench. "Now we're talking," he said in a low voice, a half-smirk tugging at his lips.

Willie slapped him on the back. "Get a room both of ye! Go now, before the mob forces ye to stay," he joked, pulling a tipsy Geillis to his side.

"Aye, go and sorry ...but not sorry for forcing ye to strip," Geillis winked. "Now that everyone knows that it's you, they're even more disappointed that the show is over."

Rupert joined in, followed by a waiter with a tray of drinks. "I hope the party is not over. I just ordered drinks for everyone."

Jamie jerked his thumb towards the group of girls. "I warmed them up. They're all yers now. Claire and I are going." He touched Claire's belly and grinned. "Ye lot are too rowdy for the baby. See ye when I see ye."

Without a backward glance, he led Claire out of the pub, and they walked home hand in hand. Once in the house, they had a little party of their own.

#melodyheart #forgetmenot #Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser #outlanderfanfic

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perspective-series · 5 years ago

Text

Pet Perspective (14/19)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Humans being demeaning how dare

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

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“Alright, we’ve got your blankets, pillows, additional pillows-”

“I still do not see why those would be necessary.” Logan interrupted.

“-your desk is set up, your closet is full… I think we’ve finally moved you in, Specs!” Roman threw an encouraging arm around Logan’s shoulders.

Patton came up to the door and, remembering their promise, knocked first, listening to see if he could hear them.

“Come in.” Logan called, loudly enough he hoped he was heard.

Patton grinned when he was able to hear Logan speak and he opened the door, coming in. “Hey guys! Just wanted to check in.” He noticed that Logan’s room seemed full with his things. “Looks like you’re all settled?”

“Just about, yes.” Logan stepped forwards. “Is there something you needed?”

“Oh, no. Just checking in.” Patton laughed. He looked around the room and winced. “Virgil and I will clean this room out soon. Probably tomorrow. I know you aren’t using it but it’ll be nice not to have to look out at a mess.”

“So long as vermin aren’t attracted, the mess is fine.” Roman assured him. “Preferred, actually.”

“Preferred?” Logan gave him a confused glance.

“...more hiding spots.” Roman admitted, a bit quietly.

Patton frowned. “O-Oh...I mean, I suppose we could leave it. But, uh, why would you need hiding spots?”

Roman rubbed at his sleeve, clearly feeling odd about speaking to a human on the matter.

“I imagine it feels instinctual.” Logan reasoned, noting that he might feel more comfortable with that arrangement as well. “Similar to having an escape readily available should the enclosure not be easily accessible.”

Patton nodded, despite not really understanding. “Okay...I mean, if that’s what you really want, we’ll leave it how it is.” He said with a small smile.

“It could be tidier though.” Logan shifted a bit, looking at the mess. “Perhaps we could construct more of a planned structure?”

Roman hummed noncommittally.

“Oh, yeah! We can do that.” Patton grinned. “It’s a bit early now but we can do it later on? You two can delegate and Virgil and I can do all the heavy lifting.” He chuckled.

“I think that sounds acceptable.” Logan agreed, although he was a bit hesitant at Roman’s lack of agreement.

Roman cleared his throat, deciding to change the subject. “So, what does the rest of the day hold for us, then?”

“Oh! Right, well breakfast, of course and Logan, there actually was something I wanted to ask you.” Patton remembered suddenly.

Logan blinked, surprised by this. “Oh?”

“Yeah! See, I have to go back to school today and I was wondering...did you want to come with me?” Patton asked. He had planned on bringing Logan with him to school for a while now. To have a little friend with him while he was there. But only if Logan wanted to, of course.

“Accompany you… to school?” Logan seemed almost dazed by the query.

“Yeah! It could be fun and hey, you’ll get to learn some cool things too.” Patton said, trying to sweeten the deal for Logan.

“I- “ Logan gaped like a fish. “I would- I, yes I would like that very much.”

Roman chuckled at how un-subtly the nerd had reacted.

Patton blinked, processing Logan’s answer before grinning wide. “Yay! This is going to be so much fun!” He offered his hands to the two borrowers. “Let’s head down for breakfast and then Logan and I can get ready for school.”

“Oh, what about Roman?” Logan glanced to his fellow borrower as they both climbed on, a sort of sympathetic worry on his features.

“I doubt school would be my cup of tea.” Roman waved off his concerns. “I’ll be fine on my own today.”

Patton hummed and set them down on the table. He went to go make a quick breakfast and that’s when Virgil came down, eyes going to the two borrowers immediately. “Oh, uh, good morning.”

“Good morning.” Logan echoed.

Roman gave him a wave.

Virgil took a seat, knowing Patton was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. “How was your first night as roommates?”

“Surprisingly successful.” Roman informed him. “After staying up most of the night we agreed on a couple ways to ‘co-habitate’, as Logan keeps calling it.”

“It’s the proper term for borrowers living together.” Logan huffed, feeling as though Roman might be poking fun at him.

Virgil chuckled. “Well, I’m glad things are working out.” It was then that Patton came out with plates of eggs and toast, setting each one in front of everyone.

“Eat up, everyone! You especially, Logan. We got a big day after all.” Patton said, before digging in.

Virgil blinked. “Big day?”

“I am accompanying him today.” Logan explained, a smile forming as he dug into his own food with an excited sort of relish.

Virgil blinked. “Wait, like, to school.” He looked at Patton, expression concerned. “Uh, Pat, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t it be?” Patton asked, tilting his head.

“I don’t know, just...he could get hurt?” Virgil just felt anxious about either of them leaving the house at all.

“It’s school.” Roman reminded him with a roll of his eyes, having been once or twice himself. “It’s not exactly dangerous.”

“Is that correct?” Logan looked to the humans for confirmation, hoping he did not have reason to worry.

“Logan, you have nothing to be worried about. Virgil, he’ll be fine.” Patton reassured both of them. Virgil sighed.

“Alright...just be careful.” He looked down at Roman. “Uh...you don’t want to go...right?”

“I’m certain I can entertain myself with the free reign of a human house.” Roman teased, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“...What are you planning?” Virgil asked, eyes narrowing. He did not like the look in Roman’s eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Roman feigned innocence, taking a large bite of toast.

Virgil grumbled but didn’t say anything more, taking a bite of his food instead.

Patton looked in Logan’s direction. “I think it’ll be fun.” Patton said with a smile.

“It should certainly be educational.” Logan agreed.

“Just...again, be careful.” Virgil said with a sigh. He knew borrowers were taken out everyday but that didn’t mean something wouldn’t happen.

“We will. Stop worrying you silly goose, everything will be okay.” Patton said, smiling softly at Virgil. He knew how much Virgil worried and knew how to reassure him. “And actually, we better get going soon or I’ll be late. Ready to go, Logan?” Patton asked, already holding his hand out for him.

“Indeed.” Logan finished the last bite of his food, climbing on.

“Have fun, you two!” Roman gave them a wave.

“We will!” Patton called back, placing Logan in his pocket and heading out to his car. He got in and double checked the radio was off before turning his car on.

He pulled out of the driveway and headed towards his school. “So, my first class is history, which should be fun. And then I have English.” Patton started to list off.

“How does a class period usually operate?” Logan asked, peeking out of the pocket to look around at the scenery as they drove.

Patton thought for a moment, never having had to explain it before. “Well, the classes are usually an hour and a half. The students sit at desks or tables as the professor teaches at the front of the room. Students take notes and then there are assignments to do sometimes as well.” Patton explained as he turned into the building.

“What sort of assignments?” Logan leaned forwards. “Would it be possible for me to participate?”

“Well…” Patton bit his lip. “Can you read? Or write?” Patton felt silly asking but he also knew it was possible.

Logan didn’t let the question wilt his eager attitude too completely. “Yes, I am capable of both those activities.”

“Oh! That’s good. Then I don’t see why not. It might be a bit before you’re caught up enough to actually help but I can always walk you through them too.” Patton said, parking and grabbing his bag before heading out of the car.

“That would be wonderful.” Logan could scarcely remember to regulate his breathing, finding himself almost vibrating with nerves and excitement alike.

Patton grinned and then walked to his class, sitting more in the back before taking out all his stuff. He then reached in and scooped Logan up and out, setting him down on the desk. “So, what do you think?” Patton asked, motioning towards the classroom. He was a bit early, so students were still coming in and the teacher was focused on something at her desk.

“You spend all of your time here?” Logan asked incredulously, looking around. It was massive, with several desks laid out all around. He had never seen a space for so many humans, and the prospect of every seat being filled was daunting.

“Well, not all my time. And not all in this room either. We have to switch rooms for each class.” Patton explained. As the students finished gathering in, the teacher looked at the clock before standing up.

“Greeting class, first off I’ll be handing back your papers from last week’s assignment.” She said, grabbing a stack off her desk and going through each student. She paused at Patton’s desk, eyeing the borrower on it. “Patton, pets aren’t allowed in school.”

Patton’s face dropped. “What? But he isn’t bothering anyone!”

Logan immediately felt a familiar rock forming in his stomach.

“Those are the rules, Mr. Hart.” The teacher said and Patton bit his lip.

“Please let him stay. I promise he won’t be any trouble!” Patton pleaded. The teacher looked at him for a long moment, before sighing.

“Alright...but he stays in your pocket. Understood?” The teacher said and Patton knew that he was already getting away with a lot.

“Yes, ma’am.” The teacher nodded and continued to pass out the papers. Patton sighed and looked down at Logan apologetically.

“It’s...fine.” Logan let his face fall back into that familiar stoic expression that kept him safe. Because it was fine, it had to be fine, because this was just how things were and nothing was ever going to change because despite Patton viewing him differently Logan would always be nothing in the eyes of the world and he was a fool for ever forgetting that.

Patton sighed at the look on Logan’s face but couldn’t do anything about it. He offered his hand to Logan. “I’ll make up for this later, I promise.” Patton whispered.

Logan just shook his head, sadly climbing on. He didn’t need Patton’s pity. It was his own fault for agreeing to come and getting his hopes up.

Patton placed Logan back in his pocket.

He didn’t focus all too well for the next hour and a half. He couldn’t help but feel bad for Logan. Sure, maybe he was still able to hear but he shouldn’t be forced away in a pocket. It was unfair.

As class was dismissed, Patton decided to ditch his next class. It was something he never did but with the knowledge that Logan would have to stay in his pocket for so long, he decided it would be fine for today. So, instead of his next class, he found himself back in his car, taking Logan out. “I’m...sorry that happened.”

“No, I- it’s alright.” Logan told him, having calmed slightly from the time he spent in confinement. “I was still able to listen to the lecture. I learned a suitable amount. It’s more than I would have gained at home, or ever expected to learn. I should be grateful.”

“But it’s so unfair. You shouldn’t have had to be confined or trapped.” Patton argued. “You should have been able to stay out…”

“It is a school meant for human education.” Logan looked a bit bitter. “That does not include the education of borrowers.” Indeed, borrower education was limited solely to obedience training, as far as Logan was aware.

“But...borrowers don’t get any form of education…” Patton paused. “You guys don’t even get the choice.” Being a borrower did not sound like...fun.

“I was trained to be literate, and to obey commands.” Logan tensed in recollection. “Higher education than that is unnecessary when your entire existence is meant to be a companion to someone much larger who will care for you the rest of your life.”

Patton was quiet. “I...I feel like apologizing again. Not just for what just happened but for...everything. Now that I’ve realized I...I don’t understand how the world can think of you guys as...pets.” Patton said sadly. He felt horrible for being one of the billions of people who had thoughts like that.

“The sentiment is appreciated.” Logan gave a weary sigh. “But unfortunately, I understand all too well. It is easy to take advantage of us, we’re an intriguing anomaly, and creatures of a petite stature are often seen as cute and vulnerable.”

“I know...it wasn’t too long ago I thought the same.” Patton admitted sadly. He bit his lip. “I want to make it up to you. So...name something! What have you always wanted to do, we’ll go do it!”

Logan wasn’t sure how to respond, considering they had just done the activity Logan had wanted most, and it had ended quite poorly. “What would you propose?”

Patton thought for a long moment before a great idea suddenly came to him. He grinned. “Well, if they won’t let you learn in a school, we’ll have to settle for the next best thing. Studying ourselves at the library!”

Logan perked up at this suggestion. “But what about your English class?”

“I can afford to miss it.” Patton said with a shrug. “This is more important at the moment.” He moved Logan towards his pocket but paused. “Are you okay with going back in the pocket for a bit longer?” He asked, knowing Logan had already spent a lot of time in there.

“Yes, that is acceptable.” Logan agreed, hoping it wouldn’t be for long. “Although I do believe your priorities are incorrect.”

“I think my priorities are great.” Patton said back before putting Logan in his pocket and starting towards the library. “What subject are you interested in learning more about?” Patton asked.

“I am uncertain.” Logan tried to ponder how he could possibly choose only one subject. “I suppose… science has always interested me.”

“Science…” Patton hummed in thought, smiling. “Yeah, we can do that!” It was a broad term but that just meant more options to choose from.

He pulled into the parking lot and went inside, taking Logan out as soon as he was out of the car. “Here’s the library.” Patton showed him as they walked towards the science section.

Logan looked around, craning his neck back to try and take in the space around him. If he had been impressed with the classroom, it was nothing compared to this magnificent room. There were shelves larger than Patton was tall, lined with countless books, each more than Logan had ever expected access to in a lifetime.

“Am I allowed to be here?” Logan asked uncertainly, nervous to get his hopes up.

Patton frowned, looking around. A passing librarian gave them both a smile and nod before going on her way. Patton grinned. “It looks like it!”

Logan blinked in disbelief when the other human seemed to give them approval. It certainly felt too good to be true.

Patton grinned and ran the science section, looking over the books. “Hmm...maybe this one?” He took it out, looking it over. It looked to be a biology book, which would be perfect for beginning. He chose a table in the back and set Logan down, opening the book up to the first page. “I think biology would be a good place to start.”

“What is biology?” Logan asked, coming over to inspect the contents.

“That, is what we are about to learn.” Patton gave him a wink and giggled. “Did you want to read it? Or should I?”

“What- aloud?” Logan looked a bit incredulous at the suggestion.

“Yeah! Don’t worry about disturbing anyone, it’s why I picked a table in the back.” He explained.

“I think I would prefer to read, but I am a bit out of practice.” Logan shifted, looking a bit embarrassed now.

“It’s okay! Just do your best. I’m not going to make fun of you or anything.” Patton reassured with a smile.

“In that case, a higher vantage point may be helpful.” Logan decided, trying in vain to get a good look at the book from his position on the table.

“Oh...right.” Patton chuckled. “Um...does shoulder work?” He asked, offering his hand already.

“That should be perfect, and if you follow along you should know when to flip the page.” Logan decided, climbing on.

Patton nodded and lifted Logan up to his shoulder. “Can do!”

Logan settled in, looking down at the textbook. He cleared his throat, and carefully began to read.

#pet perspective #perspective series #borrower!logan #borrower!roman #part 14 #human!virgil #human!patton

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writersrealmbts · 6 years ago

Text

Pounce

Description: Tiger!Taehyung x human!reader. You’ve been searching for the perfect hybrid companion for weeks, and when Taehyung enters your life, everything is better than you imagined.

Warnings: Not really

Posted: 05/29/2019

Tags: Hybrid Taehyung, Human Reader, Tiger Taehyung

Fluff mostly: 4,107 words

A/N: For @kpopgirlbtssvt.

Today was the day. You were determined that today would be the day you found and took home a hybrid companion. You refused to leave until you found the one that was compatible with you. The problem was that no one really jumped out at you. No one seemed interested in you, either, and they said that the best connections came from relationships that started with the hybrid as interested as the adopter. Most sniffed the air, looked at you curiously, then went back to ignoring your existence. Same as the last four shelters. You weren’t even being breed specific anymore. You stayed toward those that were adults because you didn’t want the responsibility of a child at this exact point in time. You wanted someone you could actually converse with and who wasn’t completely dependent on you. You still had work, after all, and while there were certain days of the week a hybrid was allowed to accompany their owner (you hated that word) to work (Tuesdays and Thursdays at your office), they would have to be on their own the other days of the week. You weren’t about to pay for hybrid day-care, it was more expensive than both regular daycare and puppy-daycare. The worker seemed nervous the longer it took for you two to find any potential hybrids. They had been boasting about having three or four hybrids per person that came in, and you had been skeptical given your other experiences. It was looking like they were going to be proven wrong. Three rooms later and your determination wasn’t faring as well as it had been. What if you just weren’t what a hybrid wanted? You wanted to think that you were nice, balanced, loving… “Let’s try the yard,” The worker finally said. You nodded, following them outside. There were more hybrids out here than inside, which was expected on a such a nice day. Some of the hybrids seemed to get nervous, skittering off. You looked around, waiting in place since it was important that they be able to smell you and approach you. A dog hybrid started tentatively coming over and relief started to wash over you. Then it jumped, glancing behind it and racing off. Your heart sank again. Wow. You actually were unlovable. The bushes rustled and the worker seemed to brace themselves. You frowned. Something leapt out of the bushes, past the worker and stopping in front of you. He grinned down at you, orange-striped ears flicking playfully to match the mirth in his eyes. His grin broadened and eyes became crescents. “Hi.” “Hello,” You responded, still surprised. “I’m Taehyung.” “Y/n.” He nodded. “Alright. Let’s go home.” He took your hand. “Um, what?” “Oh, sorry, I’m a tiger hybrid, and I’m your hybrid. No one else can have you, you’re my owner. Now can we go home?” His head tilted. You glanced at the worker. He looked surprised, but shrugged. “I can get the paperwork.” You nodded slowly. “Um, okay. Let’s go fill out the paperwork then. You’re okay with me being social, right? I like having friend over for games, dinner, movies…” Taehyung nodded. “Sure. I like games and movies and food. Guys?” “My closest friends are guys, mostly because they’re my neighbors. I went to highschool with some of them, and I was there when they adopted their hybrids. Oh, they have hybrids too.” “That’s okay,” He nodded. “I get along with just about all species. Mice seem a little wary of me.” You nodded. The paperwork went quickly, while Taehyung seemed to be saying goodbye to every single person in the building. But he was waiting cheerfully by the door once you were done with his suitcase, pillow, and backpack. “Ready?” You held up the papers. “Done.” “Collar?” You scrunched your nose. He sniffed and went to your jacket pocket, pulling it out and fastening it on himself after setting the pillow on the suitcase. “It’s required.” Then he grinned, his eyes disappearing. “This is a nice one, though. Thank you.” “It’s big enough?” You asked, finally looking at it. He nodded, sticking a couple fingers between it and his neck. “I like the velvet. Nice touch, very nice on the neck.” You relaxed a bit. “What do you want for dinner?” His eyes lit up. “I can choose?” “Sure.” “Anything?” “Within reason, but yeah, we can splurge tonight since it’s a special day.” He shifted. “There’s something I’ve always wanted to try.” “Okay, what?” “Venison,” He replied. You froze. “Deer?” He nodded. You slowly nodded as well. “I’ll have to look up somewhere we can buy venison. And I’ve never cooked it before, so it’ll be an adventure for both of us.” “Yay! Let’s go!” He turned toward his stuff. You held out your hand. “I can take something.” He contemplated, then handed you the pillow that seemed to have other things stuffed in it as well. “This is lightest.” You smiled and led the way out to your beater. “Not the best car, I know, but it runs and I’m saving up for a new used car.” He just shrugged. “Does the job.” You nodded, popping the trunk for him. “I figure you want this with you?” He nodded, taking it after he closed the trunk and hugging it to his chest even as he climbed into the car. You got in and buckled up, checking to make sure he was wearing his seatbelt as well before pulling out of the parking spot. “Okay, we’ll get groceries after dropping off your stuff at my apartment, that’ll give me a chance to see if I have a recipe in my cookbooks for venison so that we at least know what cut of meat we need.” “Ok. Are we sharing a room?” You blinked rapidly. “Um…well, I have the second bedroom—” “I’m a cuddler. Can’t sleep alone.” He seemed to be smiling a little. “You’re trouble, aren’t you?” He grinned. “Nope.” You laughed a little. “Where do you work?” “I’m an office manager. You can come in with me every Tuesday and Thursday.” “Really?” “Company policy. And I have my own office so if you don’t like other coworkers’ hybrids you can still be with me without them bugging you.” He bounced a bit in his seat. “Yay! Do you work on weekends?” “Every second Saturday, usually half days. Just to keep on top of everything.” He fiddled with the radio, checking out your settings, then the CD you had in the player, smiling the whole time. “Cool.” He watched the scenery go by for a while. You both listened to the CD for a couple songs before you pulled into your parking spot. “Here we are. I live on the fourth floor. The apartments there are bigger than the other floors, so while other floors have four apartments per floor, the fourth only has two. I have the smaller of the two, and the four of the guys share the other. The other two guys live below them. The three hybrids tend to congregate in the big apartment, play games and enjoy each other’s company. We can ease into it, though—” “No! That sounds perfect!” He hopped out and hurried to the trunk, handing you his pillow again as he got his suitcases. “Can we meet them today?” “Um, sure? I can text the guys and we can meet them after dinner.” He bounced a little. “Cool! Thanks.” You smiled, feeling lighthearted and happy since he seemed so happy. He slid into your apartment ahead of you and eagerly started looking around, leaving his suitcases in the entry. You chuckled and moved the suitcases out of your way so you could drop your shoes and get into the apartment. You set his pillow on one of the chairs, watching him carefully. He was currently checking out the view from your windows, and smelling the curtains. He looked carefully at your living, dining, and kitchen areas, then wandered down the halls after grabbing his pillow. He came back out a moment later and grabbed his suitcases. “I’ll keep my clothes in the guest bedroom.” You nodded. “That’s fine.” He went back to the rooms again. You went to the bookshelf and pulled all four cookbooks from the shelf, heading to the reference section to see if there were venison recipes. Looked like it was a good thing you had gone first thing in the morning to pick a hybrid. All of the recipes were calling for long cooking times. Tae was suddenly beside you, startling you momentarily, but he flashed you a smile. “Sorry. Find anything?” “They all call for long cooking times or marination, so we should hoof it. So, stew or tenderloin?” “Mmm, can we try tenderloin and turn the leftovers into stew?” You nodded. “Sure, or we can do both.” “Really?” “I mean, hopefully we like the taste of venison. If not, I’ll try to disguise the taste. Make them into tacos or mix it with beef or something.” You jotted down a list of groceries to get. You had held off getting them in case you needed to get specific foods for your hybrid, tailoring for herbivore mixes or carnivore mixes. “What veggies do you like?” He thought for a moment, then shrugged. “I’ll eat cooked carrots. And broccoli. Spinach. I like kimchi.” “Kimchi isn’t technically a vegetable, it’s just made with vegetables. What kind of kimchi?” He shrugged. You sighed. “Okay, well, I don’t know much about making kimchi, but jimin’s mom always sends him more than can eat on his own. I’ll just ask him if we can take some when he offers next time we see him.” He nodded, snuffling at your hair. You smiled. “You really aren’t shy.” He shrugged. “I like you. You smell…perfect.” “Thank you.” You sidestepped, but he seemed to anticipate it, moving with you. You peered up at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “Grocery store? Food?” He nodded, then tucked his nose into your neck, nuzzling a little before chuffing softly. You were a little surprised by the sudden move, but you were also aware that hybrids needed physical touch and affection. Especially when they’re first adopted. So you reached up and threaded your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. He melted into your touch, arms wrapping around your waist. “Thank you for getting me out of there.” You nodded. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy being in there. I hope you’ll be happy here.” He pulled back, meeting your eyes and looking at you softly. “I will.” “Is that so?” He nodded. You reached up and smoothed his hair. “Come on. Let’s go get groceries.” He smiled, eyes closed. “Okay.” He held onto your hand and let you lead him back out of your apartment and to the car. The grocery store had his attention right away as he zeroed in on the meat department and looked over every cut of meat while you talked to the butcher about venison. While he was distracted you also got some roasts, a turkey, and some different cuts of pork since it was on sale. You practically had to drag him away from the meat isle and over into produce, but he did seem to take an interest in fruits. Strawberries especially, but also blackberries and melons. He pouted when you grabbed different vegetables, and wrestled peppers out of your grasp to put back on the pile. “I can’t do spicy food.” He growled softly, then his eyes lit up. “Watermelon!” You watched in amusement as he fawned over the large melons, sniffing and knocking on them until he found one that he deemed perfect and looked to you for permission. You nodded. He grinned and brought it over, setting it in the cart like it was a baby. The snack isle was interesting. You were good with things like peanuts and popcorn, but he was examining every single snack to carefully pick one. You sighed, going over the list you had to figure out what else you still had to grab. He would need his own shampoo and conditioner since hybrid hair/fur was different from human hair, but that was something he should pick out. You weren’t sure what he had for clothing, but you partially hoped he would be okay with maybe some basic t-shirts until you could build up your savings again. Sock and underwear. “What are you doing?” “Thinking of what you may need,” You answered, looking to see what snack he got. “Ready?” He nodded. “What else might I need?” “Well, shampoo and conditioner, soap, and I don’t know if you need any clothing. Like socks or underwear?” He nodded a little. “I need some of those.” You nodded as well. “We’ll head over and you can pick them out, then we’ll go to health and beauty and get the rest.” “Okay. Can I hold your hand?” “Well, I need both to push this cart. It seems to have a mind of its own,” You told him, a little worried since you knew it was important for him. He nodded, though, and grabbed the sleeve of your shirt at the elbow instead. “This works too.” You relaxed a bit and led the way through the store, pausing by the outdoor supplies. “Do you want any sort of…toys?” His eyes lit up and he nodded. “Is there a place to play outside?” “The roof, the other hybrids like to go up there on nice days while we’re at work, and sometimes we have picnics out there.” He grinned, but then seemed to focus. “Well, I don’t know what is already there. So let’s wait on that, and then if there’s something that I really want to play with, can we come get it?” You nodded. “Cool. Thanks, y/n.” He briefly, gently, nuzzled your cheek, then bounced on his toes a couple times before practically skipping ahead to the mens section while you trailed after, watching the aisles to see if there was anything you might want to get him eventually. And you totally didn’t stop by the pet supplies and get a huge container of catnip. Never. He came back with socks, underwear, and two packages of basic shirts, one white and one black, with a questioning look. You gestured for him to put them in the cart, then headed toward the beauty section, ducking into the hybrid specific isle and looking through the products. He was smelling each and every one, gravitating toward the colorful ones first, pacing up and down the isle. You were looking at the ingredients. “Tae, this line is all-natural.” His ears swiveled toward you and he set the bottle he was smelling back on the shelf before pouncing to the spot next to you. He looked over the containers first, then smelled the four different ones from that brand before deciding on hair products that smelled like “milk & honey” and plain-smelling bodywash, with a citrus-y facewash that he seemed really excited about. You also got him a brush, a new toothbrush (because he wasn’t sure when he last replaced it and seemed surprised when you told him that they needed to be replaced every 3-4 months), toothpaste (you were almost out and he was pickier than you were), and a bottle of lotion. “Alright, anything else you want? Candy bar? Cookies?” He grabbed a chocolate bar then pointed to a bottle of juice with huge eyes. You nodded, smiling. “Grab me one, too.” He grinned and darted toward the cooler while you started unloading groceries onto the conveyor. He came back, going to the end to load the loaded bags into the cart. He looked happy, though you hadn’t actually seen him sad or upset the whole time you had known him, which was about two and a half hours now. You seriously hoped that this would work out, you liked Taehyung so far. You just weren’t sure you could handle any surprises after seeing him like this. Which would be terrible. You’d be like all those people you criticized. But when he smiled at you, it reached his eyes, and he seemed truly content even though he barely knew you. But then again, according to your hybrid friends, hybrids could tell how they would get along with a person on smell alone. And his smile made you want to smile, and you found you already were smiling back. You took the receipt and let Taehyung push the cart out to the car. He paused, waiting for you to catch up when he noticed another hybrid. You gave him a curious look. “I still smell like the shelter, it can make other hybrids nervous if they don’t clearly see an owner,” He said softly. “Especially with my breed.” You hooked your arm in his at the elbow, bumping his arm with your head. He looked down at you and smiled, blinking slowly. The two of you passed the other hybrid and its owner without incidence. At home, Taehyung spent most of his time exploring almost every nook and cranny, drawer and cabinet in the house. Lunch consisted of sandwiches, which he seemed happy about, then you sat down with your coloring pages and pencils and started working on those while he took a shower. He came out in a t-shirt and sweats and sprawled across the couch and you, effectively stopping your coloring. You laughed a little. “Hi.” He grinned back. “Hi. Pet me.” You rolled your eyes, but obliged, sliding your fingers through his thick hair, curling behind his ears and rubbing gently. He seemed to get even heavier, eyes squinting with how big he was smiling, making soft chuffing sounds. You could get used to this. ——— Sleeping with him was probably the most noticeable change to you. You weren’t used to sleeping with someone else, much less being held by someone else. But there were other things you noticed as well. Like how he was fine with your friends and neighbors, got along great with them and had no issue with them being around you (to a certain extent, he definitely got jealous if you pet Yoongi, Hoseok, or Jungkook too much) but other men were not welcome. When he was at your work he would socialize and such, but if you were talking with a male coworker, you could be certain that Taehyung would choose that time to hug onto you. And he always sniffed you carefully on the days he didn’t go to work with you. And he seemed absolutely sullen today, refusing to even talk to you after smelling a stranger on you. He had even growled at you before telling you to take a shower and wash the smell, almost like you had cheated on him or something. Which was ridiculous since you had just had dinner with your cousin that you hadn’t seen in a while. But he didn’t let you explain, locking himself into the guest bedroom with music blaring until you finally gave up and went to bed. He didn’t come out in the morning, though you knocked and told him breakfast was ready, told him it was Tuesday and that if he wanted to come to work with you he had to get up. Told him you were leaving. And of course it was a miserable day when you wished you had had Taehyung there, especially since you ended up having to deal with HR. You chucked your purse at the chair the moment you entered the apartment, then noticed the three hybrids chilling on the couch with alarmed expressions. “Sorry,” You muttered, stalking to your bedroom to get out of the uncomfortable clothes. He slipped in, closing the door again as you glanced back. “What happened?” “Jeff from accounting.” He growled lowly. “What did he do?” “Got fired,” You answered shortly, not wanting to go through all of that again. “And now I have to change and get dinner ready because we have a guest coming over tonight.” “What?! Wait, y/n, what happened at work? Who’s coming to dinner?” You ignored him like he had ignored you for most of the day, heading to the kitchen and getting everything you needed for dinner out. “How did he get fired? What did he do to you? Who’s coming to dinner? Why are you ignoring me?” “So you know how it feels,” You muttered, aggressively swinging the blade at the watermelon to pierce the skin. “Look, I have a lot to do before our guest arrives. Why don’t you and the others go to Hobi’s place and finish your movie?” He was quiet for a minute or two, then went over to the others and whispered something. They left, but he came back in, gently taking the knife from you and continuing to cut up the watermelon so that you could work on dinner. He didn’t say another word, and neither did you. When the buzzer went off, you let your cousin in without a word, noticing a growl of uneasiness from Taehyung. You took a deep breath and composed yourself, then when there was a knock on your door, you opened it with a tired smile. “Hey, Jay.” He hugged you, then pulled away quickly when you both heard a snarl. You whipped around pushing Taehyung away from your cousin. “Taehyung, stop it!” “You invited him here?!” He glared past you. “Taehyung!” You jerked him until he looked at you. “That’s my cousin, Jay. And yes, I invited him here yesterday, which I would have told you earlier if you hadn’t been ignoring me.” All the fight drained from him. “Your…cousin?” “Yeah,” Jay confirmed, folding his arms. “My boss sent me here on business and my wife always worries about me not eating well so she asked y/n to make sure I at least had dinner yesterday and today. Yesterday was a bit last minute. Hope it didn’t mess your eating schedule up too much.” “So…you’re not dating him?” “That’s called incest, and no! Living with you is enough for me, thank you very much.” You gestured for Jay to take a seat at the table. “Water, Jay?” “Yeah.” You set a glass of water down in front of him and a glass of milk at Tae’s spot. “Sit, Tae.” Taehyung did as he was told, sitting down sullenly and was somewhat quiet all of dinner, though he really did seem excited about the stories of your childhood that Jay told. By the end of the evening the tiger had relaxed and kept turning apologetic eyes toward you. After Jay left, Taehyung attached himself to you. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bear the thought of you dating someone else. Not when you’re—” He cut himself off, eyes going wide. You pursed your lips. Nancy had been right. Damn you, Nancy. You and your subpar brownies and your real housewives obsession. “When I’m what?” “Um, nothing, never mind—” “Taehyung, is it true that hybrids can smell their true mate?” His tail started flicking agitatedly and he was looking everywhere but you. As if he thought that you hadn’t noticed him pressing little kisses into your skin when he thought you were asleep, or the way he looked at your body, or felt your body in an ‘innocent’ way as he tried to get comfortable at night. As if you could think about another man, when there was one there every night to listen to you and talk to you and hold you safely in his arms. “Um…yeah…yeah, some can.” You folded your arms, waiting for him to look at you. He did for less than a second, then again when he realized you were waiting for him, finally holding your gaze with trepidition. You walked over to him, looking up into his eyes. “You know, you owe me an apology.” “I know, I’m so sorry, y/n.” You nodded. “I forgive you. Just, listen before you leap, okay?” “Okay,” He answered, shoulders relaxing fractionally. You went on tiptoe and pecked his lips before heading to your room. “I’m putting on pajamas. Can you turn on that show we’ve been binging?” “Yeah,” He replied, sounding winded. You smiled to yourself, not bothering to close the door as you changed. You went back out and he was sitting rigidly on the couch. You grabbed a blanket and went over, curling up next to him and covering both of you with a blanket. He gulped audibly. “Um, y/n…” “Yes?” You asked, leaning forward to set your phone on the table. “You…you’re okay with…being my perfect mate?” You nodded, keeping your gaze on the screen. “Yup.” “You don’t have any questions?” “Nope.” “You’re not at all weirded out by this?” “Nope.” “Are you sick?” “No, now shush. It’s starting.” You wiggled a little, getting more comfortable. He paused it, sliding out from under you (which earned a protesting squeak from you) and sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “Just like that?” “Just like what?” “You accept it like it’s nothing?” “Of course not. It’s everything. It’s everything we’ve been doing since you came home with me and more that we haven’t worked up to.” “How long have you known?” “Since Nancy from marketing opened her big mouth a couple weeks ago. I just assumed you’d talk to me about it eventually but when you threw that big jealousy fit I decided to end this little Irish Jig and make it abundantly clear that I know exactly what I am to you and that I’m not taking it lightly. You’re the only man in my life. The guys don’t count. They’re…the guys. You’re Tae, the tiger hybrid that pounced on my heart the moment we met and never let go.” His eyes were huge. “Was that the dramatic response you were looking for?” You asked, sitting up and forward and touching your nose to his. He slid the tip of his nose along the side of yours as he tilted his head and leaned in, kissing you properly for a moment before pulling away. His whole demeanor was more relaxed, softer and happier. “Yeah. It was.” You smiled, laughing a little. “Such a drama-king. Come cuddle now. We have so many episodes to get you through so that you’re caught up to me and we can watch the newest season.” He picked you up, chuckling as you squeaked in surprise, and sat down. He set you on his lap, kissing your cheeks and neck before settling again and hitting play. “Mine. My mate.” “Yes, yes. Your mate. Now shush, this is important information.” He settled in, tail wrapping around both of you, with a kiss to your cheek and a squinty-eyed smile. “But you’re my mate.” “And you need this information to understand—! Argh! Now we have to rewind!” “Or we could watch it tomorrow,” He said, turning the TV off. You shifted to face him better. “And what would we do now?” He pulled you closer and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Explore.”

Masterlist.

#kim taehyung #hybrid!taehyung #tiger hybrid!taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #reader x taehyung #hybrid!au #hybrid!bts #human!reader #bts fic #bts

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