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batfam-rewrites · 4 years ago

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Batfam During Quarantine: Happy Holiday’s

December 1

Duke: So, what weird traditions do you have for Christmas.

Stephanie: What makes you think we have weird traditions?

Duke: Please, at this point you all are so predictable, I can tell you all what you’re gunna to do on Christmas Day. Dick text everyone he knows that celebrates Christmas Merry Christmas,

Dick: Why shouldn’t I?

Duke: Jason is gunna bitch about all of his presents or tune us out or both, Tim is gunna sleep through most of it because he’ll be up all night wrapping presents, Steph will spend most of the day on social media, Barbara and Dick will get very cozy on the couch probably reading something, and Damian will wake everyone up by jumping on the bed screaming,

Barbara: Sounds about right!

Cassandra: What about us?

Duke: You guys are just about as new as I am to this family so I’m not to sure.

Harper: So there is some weird tradition?

Dick: Nothing too weird, just an advent calendar.

Tim: But with movies, so for example the first day could be Home Alone, the next day could be Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, then the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, then Home Alone 3...

Cassandra: I’m assuming Home Alone 4 is in there somewhere?

Stephanie: No, fuck that movie!

Cassandra: Damn, just assuming! Don’t get so judgmental.

Jason: The only movie that is consistently.....

Dick: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don’t ruin the surprise, Jaybird!

Jason: Whatever, you’ll love the movie. It’s funny as hell.

Duke and Cassandra: Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool.

December 6

At a mall in Central City

Dick: *grabs a large stuffed animal unicorn and walks with Wally towards Jason, Victor, Roy, and Donna This is Fred.* He’s coming with us.

Donna: Dick, what is this?

Dick: You didn’t hear it from me but *whispers loudly* Fred is a secret agent. He’s here to save all unicorn kind.

Roy: *stiffles a laugh*

Wally: *laughs loudly*

Victor: Why do you need a unicorn? You’re not a child!

Dick: It’s for Dami. And Fred is a secret agent.

Roy: Uhh no he’s......

Dick: *throws Fred at Roy* Sneak attack!

Roy: Hey!

Donna: You don’t get the unicorn back until we get to the car!

Dick: No fair! *spots the pet store across the way* OOOOO, PUPPIES! *jumps on Jason’s back* Piggy back ride.

Jason: No! *throws Dick off his back*

Victor: Jason, what is up with Dick today?

Jason: No idea.

Dick and Wally: *starts hopping like a frog around the store*

December 10

Damian: HAPPY HANUKKAH, SUCKAS!!!

Bruce: Settle down Damian.

Damian: NEVER!!!!!

Bruce: Okay, we’ll see you guys soon, we’ll be at Kane Manor. Alfred is in charge.

Dick: Why not me! I’m responsible!

Bruce: No you’re not.

Dick: I am too!!!

Barbara: Really? What about last night?

——

Nightwing: Hey, Babs, check this out! *jumps off the roof of a building* YEAH I’M FREEEEEEEE! FREE FAAALLLLLIIIN’! fires his grappling hook across the street

——

Dick: So? That proves nothing!

Selina: *whispers to Damian* Get to the car.

Damian: *starts leaving*

Bruce: Goodbye everyone see you in eight days! *backs away slowly* ALFREDS IN CHARGE!!! *running to the garage*

December 13

Jason: *to Stephanie, Tim, Cassandra, Harper, and Cullen* Okay, everyone hold on!

Barbara: What’s going on?

Jason: We’re sledding down the stairs.

Barbara: Without me! Someone make room! Let’s go!

They sled down the stairs landing outside.

Dick: I’M GOING NEXT!!!!

December 15

Damian: Can I light the candle tonight?

Bruce: I don’t think that would be safe enough. Maybe next year.

Damian: You let me roam the streets of America’s hell hole dressed with a target on my chest, how would lighting a candle be MUCH WORSE THEN THAT?

Bruce: You can’t be trusted with fire! Last time I tried to let you light Dick’s birthday candles you set the table in fire!

Kate: Shit Damian! I thought you were getting better.

Damian: I’M TRYING! NOW GIMME THE LIGHTER OR ELSE I’LL SLIT YOUR THROATS!

December 19

Tim: *walks in the back door* We got the tree!

Jason: *runs down the stairs* Lets see it!

Damian, Cassandra, Dick, and Barbara run down stairs to see the tree and stare at it.

Dick: Ummm.... Tim, Steph, did you guys think of how the tree would fit into our house?

Stephanie: Well you said to get a cheap one and we did! We got it for free!

Damian: And where did you get it? The woods?

Tim: How did you know?

Dick: Okay, we’ll find somewhere to place this one and get a new one to decorate tomorrow.

Tim and Stephanie: Okay.

Three squirrels jumps out of the tree.

Damian: SQUIRREL!!!

Dick: Don’t touch it!

Jason: Let it bite you!

Barbara: *elbows Jason in the side* Jason, shut up!

December 20

Bruce: Can someone hand over the Joker ornament?

Dick: *hands over the ornament*

Jason: That ornament is the bomb!

Everyone: Oh my god!

Jason: Look, I’m just saying I would definitely not break that one with a crowbar!

Dick: Shut up Jason!

Barbara: You’re not the only one to have been traumatized by the Joker, Jason!

Jason: Yeah, but I’m the only one the Joker killed.

Harper: Why do you even have ornaments of your villians, Bruce!

Stephanie: Oh, I got this one! Because the trophies in the Bat-cave aren’t enough!

Jason: *high fives Stephanie*

Bruce: It’s because I like to remember those who are not spending the holidays in the most ideal place.

Jason: So you are capable of emotion! I never knew!

Alfred: *hits Jason on the head*

Dick: Awww, this is a cute one *holds up an ornament of Bruce and Selina kissing in their costumes*

Selina: I’ll hang that one up! *reaches for it and places it on the tree* Do you remember that one Bruce?

Bruce: Yeah, that was when we first started working together. *both of them kiss*

Damian: I CAUGHT THE SQUIRRELS!!!

Dick: No!

Barbara: Put it outside!

Damian: I’m going to adopt it!

Alfred: No your not!

Bruce: Set it free!

Jason: *takes the squirrels and throws them outside*

Harper: Problem solved.

Damian: NOOOO! MY BABIES! *runs to the door*

Dick: *puts a hand on Damian’s shoulder* It’s for the best.

Christmas Eve

Jason: Yippee Ki Yay motherfuckers!

Harper: So we’re watching Die Hard?

Jason: Fuck yeah! And then The Ref!

Duke: Oh! That is a great movie!

Tim: Damn it! You all weren’t supposed to know the movie!

Harper: We still haven’t seen it! Sounds interesting!

Tim: Yeah but now the reaction is going to be underwhelming.

Dick: I don’t know. I’d probably just be whelmed.

Jason: NO! *jumps towards Dick and wrestles him* I...hate...your...use...of....those.....words.

Dick: Get off me!

Bruce: Jason! Get off of your brother!

Jason: Fuck you!

Alfred: *grabs Jason’s ear*

Jason: Ouchie! Alfred!!!

Alfred: I’ve frankly had enough of your swearing today Jason! Go to your room and don’t come down until it is time to grab your wrapping paper for the presents you bought!

Jason: *stomps towards his room* I’m fucking....

Alfred: STOP SWEARING OR ELSE I WILL WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP! AND STOP STOMPING!! IF YOU’RE GOING TO ACT LIKE A CHILD THEN I’LL TREAT YOU LIKE ONE!!!

Bruce: Thank you, Alfred!

Alfred: Not a problem Master Bruce.

Later that night

Harper: Omg, this movie is hilarious!!!

Cullen: How have we never seen this before?

Damian: HOW DARE YOU SHELTER ME FROM WATCHING THIS! THIS IS THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE I’VE SEEN!

Bruce: I am regretting not having Damian wait a year. Am I a bad parent?

Tim and Stephanie: Yes.

Cassandra: Hey Dick, when do we get to open presents?

Dick: I’m not saying it.

Cassandra: Babs?

Barbara: Nope!

Cassandra: Jason?

Jason: WHAT!

Cassandra: When are we going to open presents?

Dick: Jason, don’t do it!

Jason: Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? We'll open them when we get there. No, in fact, I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant fucking cannon. And you're gonna crawl in it. Then I'm gonna get 2 pounds of gunpowder and I'm gonna shoot you right out of Jersey! And then I'm gonna drive to Jersey, and pick up all the parts of your body and put them in a plastic bag. Then I'm gonna drive to my house with you in the bag and toss you into the fireplace. I'm gonna get my glass of whiskey and watch the Charlie Brown Special with your ashes burning IN MY FUCKING HOUSE! AGH!

Alfred: *runs in with a bar of soap and shoves it in Jason’s mouth* WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT MOUTH!!!!

Christmas Day

Damian: *jumps out of bed and runs to Bruce’s and Selina’s room* YOU GUYS DRESSED!

Selina: Ehhh....

Damian: *opens the door and jumps on the bed* COME ON IT’S TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS!!!!

Dick: *walking by* Damian, what do you think you’re doing?

Damian: PRESENTS!!!

Dick: *stares at Damian* Presents.

Damian: *locks eyes with Dick*

Dick: Presents! Babs, come here!

Barbara: *walks over* What’s up?

Dick: Presents.

Barbara: Presents!!

Dick: PRESENTS!!!!! *lifts up Damian and they run downstairs to look at their presents*

Jason: Can you basic bitches keep it down? I’m trying to sleep.

Damian: *grabs one of Jason’s presents* this feels like it won’t break! *throws the present at Jason’s door*

Jason: *catches the present and opens it* AWESOME! A BOOK OF H.P. LOVECRAFT’S STORIES!!!

Dick: How is Jason such a nerd?

Barbara: *shrugs her shoulders*

Tim: PRESENTS!!!! *runs down the stairs*

Stephanie: LET’S GO SUCKAS!!!!! *runs down the stairs*

Duke: *to Bruce* Is it always like this?

Bruce: *sipping coffee* I wish I can say no.

Harper: If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! *runs into the fray* Where’s my presents ass-hats!

New Years Eve

Everyone: 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...Happy New Year!

Dick: *kisses Barbara*

Stephanie: *kisses Tim*

Bruce: *kisses Selina*

Jason: *turns to look for some one* Oh, that’s right, I have no one.

Harper: *raises his glass of grape juice* Here’s to hopefully a better year!

Everyone: Cheers!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a safe and wonderful holiday! this month. Sorry if there are any errors. Much like the last one this was a bit last minute! Let’s hope that 2021 will be a much better year than 2020!

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trashcanreddiefan · 5 years ago

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I'll be Home for Christmas (Bill Hader x Reader)

Summary: Reader is missing her boyfriend on Christmas Eve... When the doorbell rings.

Word Count: 1150

Warnings: None whatsoever. This is pure fluff.

Author's Note: This was partially inspired by a text post by trashmouthkid: 'Reaction video captioned “I didn’t tell my husband I was coming home from tour for the holidays” where Bill films Richie surprising Eddie and Eddie, who hasn’t seen Richie in months, is crying and keeps saying “you asshole” while Richie keeps kissing him.' (Which means a Reddie version of this fic is coming.)

CROSS-POSTED AT AO3.

Y/N sighed as the end credits of It's a Wonderful Life scrolled across her TV. It was Christmas Eve and she was missing her boyfriend, Bill, terribly. In the two years they had been dating they hadn't gone more than a month without seeing each other in person, but this last separation had been a lot longer than usual and was taking a toll on Y/N. I guess that's one of the perils of dating a Hollywood actor.

She thought back to their conversation the previous week.

"Hey, Y/N," Bill had said when Y/N had answered the phone. "Listen, it turns out that I'm not going to be able to make it home for Christmas. We ran into some production issues and in order to catch up we now have to shoot over the 3 days that we were supposed to be off since it would put us too far behind if we waited. As it is it's looking like we won't wrap until a week after we originally thought."

Y/N's shoulders slumped. "Oh, okay."

"I'm so sorry, honey. I'll try to call you on Christmas Eve after we wrap for the day, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too."

Y/N had hung up the phone, her eyes filling with tears. She hadn't seen Bill in four months because he was in London filming a new movie, so she had been looking forward to spending Christmas Eve with him at her apartment and Christmas Day with him and the girls at his house before he went back to London for what was supposed to be the final 2 weeks of shooting.

Y/N sighed. No use moping about it. She got up to swap the DVD out for another movie and had just started it when her phone rang.

She couldn't help but smile when she saw the caller ID. "Hey, honey."

"Hi babe," Bill's voice came over the speaker. "What are you up to?"

"Just sitting at home watching Christmas movies."

"Oh? Whatcha watching?"

Y/N glanced over at the TV. "Just started Die Hard ."

Bill chuckled. " Die Hard? Really? As a Christmas movie?"

"Hey, I'll have you know that Die Hard is one of the greatest Christmas films of all time, as you should well know," Y/N said teasingly. "Yippee-kai-yay and all that."

"Well, you now owe me a rewatch since you're watching it without me."

"Deal, babe. As soon as you're back in L.A. I'll sit down and watch it with you." She sat back. "So how was filming?"

"It was fine. We managed to get through a couple of extra scenes today so hopefully we can get back on track to finish on time."

"I hope so too," Y/N said, unable to keep the wistfulness out of her tone.

A car door shut over the phone and she could hear Bill walking. "I'll be home in a few weeks," he said. "We can celebrate Christmas then."

Y/N sighed. "I know, honey, I just miss you."

"I miss you too, baby. We'll see each other soon." He paused. "I gotta run, but I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Okay. 'Love you, Bill."

"I love you too, Y/N. Bye."

"Bye."

Y/N hung up and pressed play on the remote, turning her attention back to the TV.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on her door. Now who can that be, she thought, pausing the movie and making her way over to the door. She opened it and gasped. "Oh my God."

Bill stood in her doorway, grinning. "Hi babe. Can I come in?"

Y/N blinked. "Oh my God ." She pulled Bill into a hug, burying her face in his chest and breathing in his scent. "You're really here."

"Yeah, sweetheart, I'm here," Bill replied, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm home."

"You're here ," Y/N repeated, overwhelmed by the fact that Bill was back home in L.A. and standing in her apartment after being away filming for 4 incredibly long months. "Oh my God, you're here . I can't believe it, you're actually here ." Y/N paused and leaned back, keeping her arms wrapped around him. "Wait, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in London."

"I'm surprising you, of course."

"How did you manage to get away from filming?"

"Actually, we sped up the production schedule and managed to wrap yesterday so everyone could be home for Christmas and New Year's. I just told you something different so I could surprise you." Bill glanced over at the TV and froze, a smirk spreading across his face. "So you were watching Die Hard , huh?"

Y/N let go of him and glanced back at the TV, where Noelle was paused right on Bill's face. She blushed. "I wanted to see you today, even if it was just in a film. I've missed you."

Bill bit his lip. "I've missed you too, Y/N. I've missed you so much that it hurt."

Bill gave her one more gentle kiss. "Now, I believe I was actually promised a Die Hard viewing , unless of course you want to finish Noelle.. . "

Y/N smiled and tugged Bill towards the couch. "Why would I want that when I have you live and in person right here?"

They sat down and Y/N snuggled into Bill's side as he started the movie. Y/N was having trouble concentrating, however, still not being able to believe that Bill was finally home.

"What?" Bill finally asked.

Y/N shook her head in disbelief. "I seriously can't believe you're here. This is the best surprise ever."

Bill paused the movie and turned towards Y/N. "Actually, I have another surprise for you. I was going to wait until New Year's to do this, but I honestly can't wait another minute." He took a deep breath. "Y/N, having to spend the last 4 months away from you has just confirmed what I've known since the moment we met, which is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. "

Y/N gasped as Bill slid off the couch and got down on one knee in front of her. He pulled a small box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal a diamond ring. "Y/N, I want to be with you always," he said. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you," Y/N replied, her voice shaking with emotion as she blinked back tears.

Bill stood and slid the ring onto Y/N's finger before sitting back down on the couch. He cupped her face in his hands and pulled her into a kiss. "I love you so much," he murmured against her lips.

"I love you too," Y/N murmured back before connecting their lips once more.

#Bill Hader x Reader #Bill Hader Fluff #Bill Hader Imagine #TCRF Writes

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keelywolfe · 6 years ago

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FIC: In the Depths of My Despair

Summary: There are two kinds of people: those who think 'Die Hard' is a holiday movie and those who are wrong. Also, Jeff is only saying what we're all thinking.

Series: By Any Other Name, Stocking Stuffer

__________________

Read on AO3

Read More Below!

~~*~~

“I am despondent.”

Jeff looked away from the Christmas movie that Stretch had begged him to come over and watch with him. His text had been pleading that he needed a co-pilot and Edge was busy working. Also, Edge had declared that ‘Die Hard’ was not a true holiday movie and refused to watch it as one.

That wasn’t an argument that Jeff wanted to step into the middle of, but he was willing enough to be a silent partner, particularly since Edge’s disdain for the movie hadn’t prevented him from making snacks.

While he and Stretch were switching between talking through the movie and making their way through a small mountain of tiny quiches, Edge was in the corner at his desk with his laptop, the tap of his gloved fingers against his keyboard a muted staccato. Antwan had told him that he and Edge were trying to push through an important project before the holiday break, so they were working extra hours and that was why he’d canceled their date tonight. Not that Jeff didn’t believe him but the visual proof of Edge working away was reassuring.

Stretch, on the other hand, didn’t have what could be considered a real job unless you counted the part-time one he had sassing Edge.

“You’re despondent,” Jeff repeated. He wasn’t sure Stretch needed a movie partner as much as he needed a straight man. “Why is that?”

Stretch shifted to sprawl out on the sofa, the top of his skull against Jeff’s leg. “i’ve been married two months now and i think the love is gone.”

“Yeah?” Jeff was trying not to grin. He knew a lead up when he heard one.

“yeah,” Stretch sighed mournfully. “watch this.” He scrambled to sit up and leaned over the sofa arm to call, “babe? can you get me a drink?”

Edge didn’t look up, still typing. “Unless you’ve recently broken a leg somehow by lying on the sofa, not only are you capable of walking, you are a rare individual gifted with the ability of teleportation. Embrace your uniqueness and shortcut your ass to the kitchen.”

With a sigh, Stretch sprawled back on the sofa. “see?”

“To be fair, he isn’t wrong.”

“of course he isn’t,” Stretch sniffed. On the screen, Bruce Willis was squirming his way through a vent. “he’s completely right and i muddle through every day when he’s at work. but when he gets me a drink, it’s made with love.”

“You’ll have to accept my calorie-free love for the time being.” Edge called absently.

“no one likes diet love!” Stretch shouted back. “no one!”

“You two are so adorable.”

Two set of eye lights were abruptly focused on him, one red and piercing, the other deeply amused, and Jeff realized he’d actually said that aloud. Edge only raised a brow bone while Stretch started laughing.

“Adorable,” Edge said slowly.

“oh, come on, edgelord,” Stretch snickered. “he’s so right. you’re adorable.”

“He said we’re adorable, not me.”

Stretch blew a kiss in Edge’s direction and maybe the love wasn’t completely gone, because Edge paused in his typing to mimic catching it. Yeah, fucking adorable, that, every time, way to prove his point.

Stretch seemed to think so, too, his smile was soft, “we as in me and thee, babe. adorable like puppies, kittens, and baby moldsmals.”

…moldsmals? Jeff added that to the mental google list he always had when he spent time with Stretch. He could have happily sat and watched the two of them snark the rest of the night but a glance at the clock had Jeff wincing.

“I need to get going if I’m going to catch the bus home,” Jeff said apologetically. Which completely sucked, the movie was only half over.

Before he could even stand, Edge spoke up, “I can give you a ride.”

“It’s late,” Jeff protested. Tempting, but…“and you work tomorrow.”

Stretch made leaving even harder by shifting to set his head firmly into Jeff’s lap, weighing him down. “nah, he doesn’t sleep all that much anyway, andy, but if it’s bugging you, stay the night. we have a guest room.”

He shouldn’t, Jeff knew he was taking advantage of their good nature, he really shouldn’t. But he so wanted to stay. Jeff swallowed hard and tried, meekly, “I really shouldn’t…”

“you stay over at antwan’s,” Stretch pointed out.

“Slightly different reasons,” Jeff sighed. But the movie was only halfway through and Edge would probably insist on driving him and…and…

“Okay,” Jeff finally said, giving in. It was getting entirely too easy to give in to these guys, first his student loans, and then there was Thanksgiving, and now this. Too easy and a tiny part of himself warned Jeff not to get too used to it, he knew better, he did.

He shoved that down. Stretch was his friend and hadn’t done a damn thing to earn his doubt and neither had Edge. His little mental voices could shove off.

Stretch actually clapped his hands in delight, though he didn’t vacate Jeff’s lap. “awesome! i’ve never had a sleepover. don’t worry, no one will draw dicks on your face when you fall asleep, red is banned from the house until he learns to knock.”

Well, that was a delicious bit of news that spoke of gossip. “What did he do?”

The bright orange flooding Stretch’s cheekbones confirmed his suspicions and Edge made a low, amused sound. “Yes, love, tell him what Red did.”

Which meant Edge thought it was funny and that Stretch’s embarrassment was funnier. Jeff did always love their little petty revenges against each other.

“never mind!” Stretch sputtered, finally sitting up. “there will be no dicks of any sort at our sleepover.”

“No new dicks,” Jeff corrected and Stretch laughed, nodding along.

“Okay, yes, all current dicks can stay,” he giggled. He wriggled on the sofa again, settling his feet into Jeff’s lap and he absently shifted to allow it. He’d learned long ago that sitting on a sofa with Stretch was an exercise in patience with both his squirmy nature and his blatant ignoring of personal space. It was fine with Jeff, if he’d minded, he would have taken a chair.

The movie played on, with all the necessary yippee ki-yay motherfuckers required. Later, snuggled into the bed in their guestroom, surrounded by the smell of freshly washed sheets, Jeff had no trouble nodding off. He’d never had a sleepover, either, and with shy sleepiness he checked that off his mental bucket list.

Sleepover with his best friend; done.

-finis-

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underswap papyrus #underfell papyrus #by any other name #stocking stuffer

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thenotoriousscuttlecliff · 7 years ago

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Moffat Era Rewatch: Last Christmas

Besieged by hostile creatures in a research station in the North Pole, the Doctor and Clara’s only hope may be...Santa?

Warning: Spoilers Sweetie

So who does this house Clara’s in belong to? It was meant to be old Clara’s before they changed the ending, so who does it belong to now? Her grandmother maybe?

One of the elves is played by Dan Starkey who usually plays Strax.

Nick Frost make for a lovable, but slightly sinister Father Christmas.

“You know no one really likes the tangerines, don't you?”

“Clara Oswald. Mostly favours travel books, science kits, strict ban on hair products. Marginal for the naughty list, '93.” What did seven-year-old Clara do to nearly get herself on the naughty list?

If they original ending had been kept, this would’ve been the first time she’d seen him in 60 years.

“Happy Easter.” The Doctor is brutal.

“There's something you have to ask yourself, and it's important. Your life may depend on it. Everybody's life. Do you really believe in Santa Claus?”

She’s so happy to be back in the TARDIS with the Doctor again.

I like Shona but I’m not sure she would’ve made a great companion.

Albert is played by Michael Troughton, son of the Patrick.

Ugh, Slade. One of the many things I tried to avoid during the festive season.

Shona’s come for Eleven’s crown as dance king queen of Doctor Who.

“Ghosts?” "Yeah, yeah. It's a skeleton man and a girl in a nightie.”

“Danny Pink! What is Danny Pink up to right now? He's probably flirting with your neighbour or texting women of low moral character.”

Talk about making an entrance.

“I will mark you, Santa.”

“You know what the big problem is in telling fantasy and reality apart?” "What?” "They're both ridiculous.”

“There's not just one Santa delivery team. How could there be? There are five hundred and twenty six million four hundred and three thousand and twelve children all expecting presents before tomorrow morning. So, hmm, that's twenty two million children per hour. It's impossible! Obviously, I've got a second sledge.”

Two liars just wanting the best for each other.

“How do you get all the presents in the sleigh?” "Bigger on the inside.” The Doctor is seriously contemplating murdering Santa. Not a sentence I ever thought would be write about Doctor Who.

“There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you.”

“Keeps you happy and relaxed, in a perfectly realised dream world, as you dissolve.” Except no one here is happy and relaxed. Except maybe the Doctor. Saving pudding brains from monsters with Clara is his idea of a lazy afternoon.

Doesn’t matter if it’s in drams or reality, but Clara always seems to wake up with perfect hair.

Welcome back, Danny

The writings on the wall.

“Clara!”

Clara’s in danger and Twelve can’t handle it.

“You remember Danny, of course.” "Not as well as you, clearly. You've made him a fraction taller.”

If Clara fell into a black hole Twelve would jump right in after and workout how to get them both out on the way down.

“I didn't die saving the world, Doctor, I died saving Clara. The rest of you just got lucky.”

Even dream Danny is too good for this world.

“Do you know why people get together at Christmas? Because every time they do, it might be the last time. Every Christmas is last Christmas, and this is ours.”

Farewell, Danny Pink.

“...head towards the northern lights. Yes, I remembered to switch them on.”

The penny has dropped.

“You're a dream who's trying to save us?” "Shona, sweetheart, I'm Santa Claus. I think you just defined me.”

Dreams within dreams within dreams. We’re reaching peak Inception.

“No. No, No, no, no. Line in the sand. Santa Claus does not do the scientific explanation.”

Of course the Doctor is on the naughty list.

Awww, he only wants to hold Clara’s hand.

“Doctor?” This was the clip they used for companion montage in ‘The Doctor Falls’.

“Are you the same people as before?” "Of course they are.” "Oh, sorry, I deleted you.” Makes you wonder how many other people he has deleted. I suspect Jackie Tyler is one of them.

Bellows is the sexy one.

We’ve now reached peak Inception.

Peter is so good at the explanation scenes.

“Clara? Page number. Make it a good one.” "Twelve.”

RIP Albert. Still, gotta love how the only person to die is the white guy.

This is the only show that could get away with a last minute save from the alien monsters by Santa on his sleigh.

“Fortunately, I know all your home addresses.”

I think the Doctor is starting to like Clara’s hugs.

This is probably the most joyful we have ever seen Twelve.

“Yippee ai-yay!”

Poor Shona, she made all these new friends and she didn’t want to lose them. I like to think she did mange to track them all down and they got together for reunions every year until Clara... okay, now I’ve made myself sad.

This entire scenario was constructed from Shona’s watch list. I’m assuming she never got to Thrones otherwise there would’ve been dragons.

If she does get around to Thrones, seasons 5 and 6 will be a very weird experience for her.

Older Clara is more Northern.

“Can you really see no difference in me?” "Clara Oswald, you will never look any different to me.”

This would’ve been a bittersweet ending for Clara and I prefer it to how things ended in ‘Death in Heaven’, but I’m still glad that Jenna decided to return for one more season so Clara go the epic ending she deserved.

“I'm sorry. I was stupid. I should have come back earlier. I wish that I had.”

At this point it is clear that Santa is a massive whouffaldi shipper and probably orchestrated this whole thing so he could get them back together again.

His face when he realise there is still hope for him and Clara.

She’s so relived to be young again.

“The Tardis is outside.” "So?” "So, all of time and all of space is sitting out there. A big blue box. Please, don't even argue.”

“Merry Christmas, Doctor.” "Merry Christmas, Clara Oswald.”

The Doctor and Clara together again is exactly what I wanted for that Christmas. Thank you, Santa. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask for the same again this year?

Next Time: The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar

#Doctor Who #DW #Moffat Era Rewatch #The Doctor #Twelfth Doctor #Clara Oswald #Danny Pink #Last Christmas

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jenmedsbookreviews · 7 years ago

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Yes folks. Like a large proportion of the country I got snowed in on Sunday. Yippee. At least for Sunday as I could stay snuggled under a blanket reading. Less yippee if this is what I am faced with trying to get to work on Monday … by the time you read this I’ll either have made it or not. We shall see.

Better week this week. Dragged myself down to London on Monday and attended the final First Monday Crime panel of the year which was a fun and moderately festive affair. So great hear from the panel of Louise Jensen, Mel McGrath, Susi Holliday and Chris Whitaker alongside chair Claire McGowan. This was followed by some top (?) crime writers pitching their slightly unusual story ideas to the audience. It was … an experience. I’m hoping none make it into print …

It was great to be able to get to the pub afterward and catch up with a few bookish folk including Jacob, Victoria, Joy, Amer, Tracy, Gabriela, Alex, Keshini, Roz, Vaseem, Linda, Katherine, Graham, Susi and Mel, as well as Mr Whitaker who was handing out hugs left right and centre. I’m sure I’ve probably missed scores of folk for which I apologise but it was a very busy night and I had to leave in a rush to catch my train or I’d be stranded in London all night. It was a bit like Cinderella only older, fatter, no fairy support and I managed to keep hold of both of my shoes …

I did pick up a couple of books on the day. One was a purchase from Waterstones, a signed copy of Robert Bryndza’s The Girl In The Ice. Seemed rude not to as I was in London. I also couldn’t resist grabbing a copy of All The Wicked Girls while I was at the panel and forcing Mr W to sign it. Cause, ya know, he’s so backward in coming forward … 😉

Book post wise this was an epic week. First up my two outstanding purchases from Goldsboro turn up. Yay. They were the CWA Anthology (Signed) and my signed copy of Whiteout by Ragnar Jonasson. I’m even quoteed in Whiteout so this is a super smiley book for me. On top of these I received arcs of Games with the Dead by James Nally; The Chalk Man by CJ Tudor; Fault Lines by Doug Johnstone; Blue Night by Simone Buccholz; and Kiss Me, Kill Me by James Carol.

E-book wise I was sent a new novella from Julia Roberts, Christmas at Carol’s which I’ll be reviewing this week.

I also got a couple of books on Netgalley – Let Me Lie by Clare Mackintosh and We Own The Sky by Luke Allnut.

Not a bad bookhaul of a week I guess. Reading wise I finished two books and two novellas so I’ll take that.

Books I have Read

My Sweet Friend by H.A. Leuschel

A stand-alone novella from the author of Manipulated Lives

A perfect friend … or a perfect impostor?

Alexa is an energetic and charismatic professional and the new member of a Parisian PR company where she quickly befriends her colleagues Rosie and Jack. She brings a much-needed breath of fresh air into the office and ambitiously throws herself into her new job and friendships.

But is Alexa all she claims to be?

As her life intertwines with Rosie and Jack’s, they must all decide what separates truth from fiction. Will the stories that unfold unite or divide them? Can first impressions ever be trusted?

In this original novella, H.A. Leuschel evokes the powerful hold of appearances and what a person is prepared to do to keep up the facade. If you like thought-provoking and compelling reads with intriguing characters, My Sweet Friend is for you.

A really interesting and quick read, this book looks at the power of friendship and what happens when one of a pair uses manipulation to get what they want from life. I don’t want to give away too much more about the book as it’s only around 100 pages, but you can read my full review here and buy the book here

…

A Game Of Ghosts by John Connolly

It is deep winter. The darkness is unending.

The private detective named Jaycob Eklund has vanished, and Charlie Parker is dispatched to track him down. Parker’s employer, Edgar Ross, an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, has his own reasons for wanting Eklund found.

Eklund is no ordinary investigator. He is obsessively tracking a series of homicides and disappearances, each linked to reports of hauntings. Now Parker will be drawn into Eklund’s world, a realm in which the monstrous Mother rules a crumbling criminal empire, in which men strike bargains with angels, and in which the innocent and guilty alike are pawns in a game of ghosts . . .

Finally!!! I am a very bad blogger. Should have read this months and months and moths ago but I never quite made it. Would never have forgiven myself if it had come to year end and it was still outstanding. Charlie Parker back at it;s thrilling and supernatural best this has a wonderful blend of the brilliant storyline and also emotional moments which make me very very happy. My review will be posted this week but you can buy a copy of the book here.

…

Christmas at Carol’s by Julia Roberts

An uplifting tale of people’s desire to help each other in the season of goodwill – a romantic comedy with a twist in the tale.

Carol fell in love with Wisteria Cottage the moment she laid eyes on it and moved in two weeks before Christmas hoping it would be start of a new more positive period in her life.

On her first night in her new home she discovers an old Christmas card to someone called Annie with a heart-breaking message inside from Jake.

Although she doesn’t know them, and despite being on a self-imposed dating break herself, Carol begins planning how she can bring them together, while her new neighbour, Sally, is attempting a bit of matchmaking of her own.

What a wonderfully uplifting novella. Very festive and very romantic I’ll be sharing my thoughts with everyone later this week. This is the perfect story of family, friendships, love lost and love found, just set to get you in the mood for Christmas. You can pre-order a copy of the book here.

…

Foul Trade by B.K.Duncan

It is March 1920. May Keaps, the Poplar Coroner’s Officer, has never failed to provide a jury with sufficient evidence to arrive at a just verdict.

The poverty, drunken fights between visiting sailors, drug trafficking, and criminal gangs, haunting the shadows of the busiest docks in the world, mean that the Coroner sees more than its fair share of sudden and unnatural deaths.

May relishes the responsibility placed upon her but there are many who believe it’s an unsuitable job for a woman. Even May begins to wonder if that is the case when the discovery of a young man’s body, in a Limehouse alley, plunges her into an underworld of opium dens, gambling, turf wars, protection rackets and murder.

As her investigations draw her into danger, it becomes increasingly clear that whoever is responsible intends to avoid the hangman’s noose by arranging to have May laid out on one of her own mortuary slabs.

I read the prequel novella for this series a few weeks ago and I knew then that May Keaps was going to be quite an intrepid kind of gal. I wasn’t wrong. An intriguing mystery led by May who works as a Coroner’s Officer, she is quite relentless in her pursuit of the truth and a key example of an early version of girl power. My review will be up tomorrow and you can order your own copy of the book right here.

…

That was it reading wise, and to be fair I’ve not been much busier on the blog with a handful of reviews and a lot of #bookvent.

The #Bookvent Calendar 2017: Day 4

The #Bookvent Calendar 2017: Day 5

The #Bookvent Calendar 2017: Day 6

The #Bookvent Calendar 2017: Day 7

#BlogTour: Anything for Her by G.J. Minett

The #Bookvent Calendar 2017: Day 8

Review: My Sweet Friend by H.A. Leuschel

The #Bookvent Calendar 2017: Day 9

The #Bookvent Calendar 2017: Day 10

Review: Dark Skies by LJ Ross @LJRoss_author

The week ahead is equally laid back I’ve blog tour reviews today for Carol Wyer’s The Silent Children, and tomorrow for Angelina Kerner’s Follow The Snowflakes and BK Duncan’s Foul Trade, plus Rachel Sargeant’s The Perfect Neighbours this weekend. Alongside that will be the next seven days in my #bookvent countdown.

Hope you all have a warm and book filled week. I’m off to Dublin again on Wednesday for the final time this year so plenty of reading time for me. See you next time.

Jen

Rewind, Recap: Weekly Update w/e 10/12/17 Yes folks. Like a large proportion of the country I got snowed in on Sunday. Yippee. At least for Sunday as I could stay snuggled under a blanket reading.

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